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I suffer from sleep paralysis and I can see a demen crawling up the bed.

My wife doesn't suffer from this, so why is she screaming?

As the elevator rose past level 235 we needed to put on our heat-suits.

When I was a kid, we could play outside in the sun.

My sister has been getting on to me about finally hanging out with her & her imaginary friend Puddles.

I really wish I had again said no, when it turned out that Puddles was not quite so *imaginary* nor, *friendly*.

The stench of blood and viscera tainted the air, and the sound of desperate, pleading screams soon gave way to torturous, unearthly howls.

All the while, throughout the frenzied attack, my mind stayed conscious behind the predatory eyes of this beast, unable to stop the atrocities the monster unleashed.

My daughter squeaked in joy while carving funny faces in pumpkin.

Apparently her puppy didnt share the same feelings, he felt silent after the first 5 cuts.

u201cThatu2019s a lovely red tie, sir,u201d the barber complimented me.

u201cIt was white when I came in,u201d I choked.

There are so many posts here about voodoo dolls.

Some of you must be making it up.

I always loved painting my nails- looking down and seeing that pop of color just brought me joy.

Now, seeing it through the new tear in my hazmat gloves, it just brings me terror.

My friend fell sick and had low sugar

So the only logical thing was to inject insulin, right?

I am tired of dealing with my extended family and want to get rid of them.

Completely unrelated, does anyone know where to by a box of matches and enough gasoline to burn about 5 people?

Each night, my boyfriend lovingly handed me a glass of water with a slice of lemon, claiming it would enhance the flavor.

Weeks later, as I sat in the doctor's office, stressing over the positive pregnancy test, I remembered the slightly bitter tart taste and the wedges looked a bit u201coffu201d.

The voices told me to dig the terrible parasite out of my body.

The doctors say itu2019s too late to operate now.

A mother soothes her crying baby as she searches the refrigerated section for the words u201ccertified humane.u201d

Defeated, she whispers u201cthank you for your sacrificeu201d as she reaches for the last carton labeled breast milk.

Iu2019m terrified of my moms Alzheimeru2019s making her forget me

So I killed dad to wear his face, even if I get caught sheu2019ll always see me on the news and never forget what I did

I used to love swimming with everyone in our pool.

Now that I know what's swims with us, I can't even look at the water anymore.

It was my daughters first time seeing snow, and with the type of glee only a 5 year old can possess she dove head first into the snow bank.

I heard a thunk and her saw her tiny feet stop kicking as her legs went limp.

Miracles can and do happen!

Which is why our son doesn't need any of that "medicine" for his leukemia.

I could watch the moon for hours on end.

I always laugh to myself knowing it thinks it's the only one watching.

Every male born in my family would die when they reached 18, so I did everything to evade this curse but never told my daughter about it.

Sadly on her 18th birthday, I found her lifeless body and a note that read, *"I'm your son and I can't live like this anymore."*

During medical school, we learned how to use the stethoscope.

I placed it gently on my chest while moving it, but no matter how hard I tried, I heard nothing.

A Massachusetts doctor was performing surgery on a man and gave the patient paralyzing medication.

But he forgot the anesthetic and the patient remained conscious.

I was finally ready to let go and let the ocean wash away my woes and worries.

I couldnu2019t help but crack a blissful smile as the forms of my children rapidly retreated away from the beach.

I slowy woke up from the dream of beeing assaulted by an intruder. it was so real...

Realty sat in when i stared at the blood dripping from my flashlight into my daughters crib.

I love the taste of mushrooms.

Someday, they'll love the taste of me.

The crowd proceeded with the stoning of the cold-blooded killer as the mother of the victim gleamed with the satisfaction of revenge.

The ghost of the victim watched on powerlessly as now he had no chance of escaping the killer's ghost.

"now son, don't go into the attic," my father always told me.

Spooky!

I noticed a spider on my ceiling, so I turned to grab a Kleenex.

When I turned back, it was gone.

The dark always used to scare me, when as a kid I would imagine demons and ghosts.

The real horror of the dark is kissing your daughters forehead at midnight, while the dark hides her static breathing till you find her next morning

Today is my dogs birthday ud83eudd73

I got her a big chocolate cake. ud83dude0a

AITA for kicking my boyfriend out after sex?

He's just not as good as my dad.

A mathematician once asked God whether he could arrive to the Land of God by undertaking a pilgrimage of one step then two steps, three steps and so on.

God did not responded but a sudden gust pushed the madman back by exactly one twelfth of a step, thus driving him insane and leading him to eventually taking his own life.

I have a neighbor who claims she can paint the future.

Today she finally qu-

Supper

I awoke slowly to wonder. Who did I eat?

u201cAbacination, defenestration, or degloving?u201d the debt collector asked.

I didnu2019t know what any of those fucking words meant, so I chose abacination.

I laughed when people told me stories of how my new house was haunted because I don't believe in ghosts

But as the house swallowed my wife at the early hours of dawn and gurgled in sick pleasure I regretted my earlier stance

Religious people worldwide rejoiced as the hand of God reached down from the sky.

The only problem was, no religion could recognize this God.

u201cYouu2019d be prettier if you smiled moreu2026

u2026and if you could stop warily eyeing the glowing green probe in my hand that would be great too,u201d he insisted.

I walked through the cemetery in search of something scary.

I went through the red door of the dilapidated farmhouse, not knowing Iu2019d ever be able to return to the land of the living.

I watched in horror as they descended to take my child

Refusing to allow so, I devoured them myself so theyu2019ll forever be with me

I went to the adoption center to get a new pet.

As I wandered around, my heart stopped and my body instantly turned pale as I saw a cat that looked like Nick.

It was so cool to watch the storm come in.

it was also really cool to see all of my arm hair stick up.

I was so excited to sit in my new chairu2026

But then it was a slender man chair!!!

The little girls excitement turned to disgust as she unboxed her new doll

u201cI like my new toys obedient!u201d She whined as the doll struggled in her binds

Growing up, my family always told me I had my father's eyes.

After a mystery assailant rendered my father mute, I wonder if they'll realize I have his tongue now too.

The corpses littered accoss Mount Everest always had this life-life appearance, like they were watching you.

As the summit was reached, we discovered they weren't frozen; they were simply waiting, and soon we'll join them.

After being lost and wondering the Desert for three days, my heart surged with relief to finally find Civilization!

My heart then sank when I noticed the people where all mannequins, as the sound of sirens filled the ghost town.

I finally time traveled to the future,where Iu2019m famous enough to have a biography

Excitedly reading my fate,I saw my mutilated face and how my killer was still at large.

"Good Night Sweetie, and no more monster stories! Okay!"

As Ben turned off the lights and closed the door leaving, there it was standing right beside the door.

As we were coming out of the cellar we were told not to make any noises.

With our tongues and eyes taken out we truly didn't appreaciate their messed-up sense of humor.

I was awoken by soeone breaking into out house, but I was able to get the jump on him and kept hitting him until he was broken and bloody.

I had only looked away for a second to get my phone out of my pocket to call the police, but by the time I looked up he was gone, leaving ony a note that said "Thanks".

My daughter decided that she would allow her children to learn life lessons on their own terms.

Last week, my grandson learned a very tough lesson about gravity.

My partner and I discovered new ancient writings that seemed to depict the food chain

After hours of trying and failing to decipher the top set of symbols, we moved on to the one below and found their word for human

I hate being asked, "What do you put on first when you get dressed?" because people always freak out at my answer.

I'm the one who should be freaking out, who doesn't put their skin on first?

The infection brought the dead back to life, only to die and be resurrected again and again.

I felt sorry for those already buried.

Me and my little daughter were walking through the mall shopping

Then we started hearing bangs and seeing people drop, so we started running then suddenly I felt her stop running and go limp

I smiled with a bit of hope thinking that the parents knew what they were doing when they claimed that they can cure their sonu2019s cancer.

I watched as they denied all medicine while spreading crystals and holy water all over his hospital bed

they say that when someone pledges to kill u a sudden chill goes down ur spine.

For a split second it felt like yours was completely frozen

I killed 15 bad guys in my VR video game.

I realized my VR headset was unplugged the whole time and I killed real people.

In the year 2064, lizard-like aliens touched down on Earth and brainwashed nearly half of humanity, igniting World War 3.

It's taken us 12 years to realize that the other side of this war believes we are the ones fighting for the aliens.

I woke up feeling an intense pain in my gut.

I don't know who was more disturbed: me, or the medical student pulling out my intestines.

My calender clock rings in the New Year, 2,200.

I wonder for the millionth time if any humans survived the hell I fled on my private spaceship, and if I would've been better off staying to die quickly.

"Boy am I glad that scary game isn't real," I said when I turned the TV off.

Then I turned around and saw the Evil Resident

I always wonder why I can only recall moments of my life when Iu2019m staring at my mirror...

Iu2019ve started thinking that I may be the reflection.

My father was teaching me to hunt, and we had finally found the exact deer making all that noise.

But why, when it makes sound, does it still sound so far away?

I wasnu2019t able to find my son today so I went up to check his room

My heart sunk when I saw every day after today was ripped out oh his calendar

The subreddit u201cr/TwoSentenceHorroru201d has been found to be an online meeting place for atheist extremists and terrorists.

All members will be seized.

"Wherever you go, death will follow behind you, so tread carefully", the fortune teller told her customer.

After the customer left, the fortune teller picked up her phone to tell the hitman that she had a new job for him

I had a nightmare that my wife passed away from her terminal illness.

Reality was worse than my dream as I woke up and tried to wake her up for a moment, only to realize she wasn't breathing.

He was thrilled when he stepped out of the spaceship and saw the red planet.

He was puzzled when he heard a voice in his head, saying u201cWelcome homeu201d.

After so many hours (days?) of the screeching, and pounding of hooves upon the dirt,

The head, arms & legs of the sacrifice were violently ripped off with the pieces landing with six wet thuds.

I never got to say goodbye to my husband

So when I dug up his body and the maggots and grubs crawled all over me it felt like the final hug that I deserved

I thought I just had a cold,

but whateveru2019s crawling out of my nose is NOT snot.

When I heard my wife screaming, I rushed into our fitness room and saw her sitting, sweating profusely, next to a running treadmill.

As I looked down at her baby bump and the blood on the floor, I realized it was too late to remind her once again that she was not out of shape.

He loved the sound of cracking his knuckles, especially when he was bored or nervous..

He didnu2019t love it so much when he heard it coming from inside his closet

I was in my room playing video games when my dad came in.

But my dadu2019s been dead for 3 years it was a ghost spooky!

u201cIu2019m so excited, itu2019s always been a dream of mine to have a naked man tied up in bed.u201d

u201cLet me go get the needle and thread and weu2019ll start closing up those pesky holes.u201d

Watching tornados is weirdly mesmerizing

I'm only confused about why it isn't moving.

u201cYouu2019ll be okayu201d I mutter to myself repeatedly

As I try to put my childu2019s head back together after accidentally backing up over him