| [ | |
| { | |
| "input": "When asked \"Why are you trying so desperately to find immortality?\" The scientists simply answered", | |
| "output": "\"After finding out exactly what happens after death, we can tell you with absolute certainty, you'd do the exact same.\"" | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "Today they announced that there are only 12,000 spots left in heaven.", | |
| "output": "Millions of terrified parents rushed to kill their children." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "The war has been over for nearly 15 years.", | |
| "output": "Yet, every day when the men go to tend the fields, I still pray they don't step in the wrong spot." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "1000 young people were given the option to gain 100k dollars in exchange for 1 year of their life", | |
| "output": "We knew something was terribly wrong when all 950 who agreed instantly died on accepting the exchange." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "I was born with the ability to psychically experience the happiest memories of any human by merely touching their deceased skin.", | |
| "output": "I didn't realize this worked until the day I felt a rush of joy along with vivid flashes of somebody's past-- just as I bit into a burger from that diner on route 40." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "When Henrietta Lacks died in 1951 from her cancer she thought the pain she was experiencing was finally over.", | |
| "output": "It wasn't until 3051 scientists found out a soul couldn't pass on until every cell of a person had died." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "My roommate kept stealing my salt, so I replaced it with sugar to teach him a lesson.", | |
| "output": "After I hadn't seen him for 4 days I broke into his room to find a circle of \"salt\" around his messy bed covered in tiny, caramelized hoofprints." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "\"Sorry, no tattoos allowed in Heaven, no exceptions.\"", | |
| "output": "I frantically tried to explain the number tattooed on my arm, but it was already too late." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "My girlfriend screamed at me for trying to force feed her, while claiming she always knew I had a thing for chubby girls", | |
| "output": "I watched her paper thin body clutching the chair for support and wished there was some way I could help convince her she wasn't overweight." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "\"Ha, will you look at the fog here, it's so thick!\" My best friend yelled as we went through a densely fogged road.", | |
| "output": "\"Wait does fog smell like rotten cabbages?\" His Girlfriend asked him as I lit my lighter." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "As I lay dying in a car wreck at the bottom of the ravine, it wasn't my greatest regret in life.", | |
| "output": "It was the fact I left my dog in the crate at home and figured I would give her more water when I got back." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "At first, I was so relieved to have survived the plane crash and make it to the deserted island with the other survivors.", | |
| "output": "And then I realised that I was the only woman." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "I felt embarrassed cleaning myself off after spilling my drink in front of my date", | |
| "output": "Looking down at my nail polish changing color maybe it was for the best." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "As the masked intruder lunged at me, my loyal dog leaped forward, biting off his finger and saving my life.", | |
| "output": "Now, each night, as he refuses his kibble and watches me with a disturbing hunger, I realize he's developed a taste for something completely different." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "An hour into her cave exploration, Sarah's flashlight broke, and she was forced to blindly follow the faint breeze coming from the cave's entrance.", | |
| "output": "Remembering the Zippo in her pocket, she flicked it on; revealing the lanky, eyeless man who had been blowing on her face, leading her deeper underground." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "I used to think that \"They're never gonna find you\" was the worst thing to hear before being killed.", | |
| "output": "When my captor said \"It's gonna be a long time until they stop finding you.\" I understood there was something way worse." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "As a proud scientist, I asked the genie to \"know every single digit of π\" as my first wish.", | |
| "output": "Hey looked confused, and still doesn't understand why I said you can't encode infinite numbers in binary." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "I thought it would be a funny prank to inject my sister, who was afraid of needles, with one of her syringes.", | |
| "output": "I'm not sure why everyone's so scared, there wasn't even anything in it." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "I love going to the beach and watching the difference between the low and high tides.", | |
| "output": "Although this tide has been very low for quite some time." | |
| }, | |
| { | |
| "input": "God doesn't hide in Heaven because he created us,", | |
| "output": "He hides because he doesn't know where we came from." | |
| } | |
| ] |