Fimfiction Thread: Now with 65% less critical acclaim!

Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: The crushing of man-orbs!

ITT: Forsaken Futaloos, Having something set beyond S1? Wrong!, Creative minds in positions of power, Incest porn to calm your mind, A rather resounding 'eh', Anon blows his own cock off, Measuring our autism, What really constitutes a neckbeard?, Horseword shelves, Hunting down your detractors, Angsty moon fics, Horrid horsiness, The artfulness of for-fun stories, Starting and finishing a fic at record speeds, Satisfactory shitfucking, Sneaking off to the writefag's guild, Grinning smilishly while reading 400k words of cringe, Comfortably vanishing into the void, Strength through suffering, Refusing to pad stats, Wanting to make a meaningful story, Axing your internet, "... Europeans are all basically the same anyway.", Needing to catch up with the Club, Completely non-fetishistic writing, Anon wants to excommunicate all fanfiction, and stories of the robotically-born variety!

>/fimfic/ Secret Book Club
The sixty-sixth book is 'The Witless':
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/53<wbr>2616/
If (You) want to participate, finish the entire story by the 19th.
On Sunday we'll discuss what we've read.

>Recommended stories:
Tired of authors forgetting that brevity is key? Fed up with 10k inner monologue chapters? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!

New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter<wbr>/
Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png

>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:
https://ponepaste.org/7317

>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:
http://www.mlpficreviews.org.uk
Use the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.
Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619

>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:
https://eznguide.neocities.org/

>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.

>Additional material for authors:
Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932
Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essay<wbr>s/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4f
Setting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0
Taking criticism - https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA

>Various reviews and riffs:
Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555
Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass22<wbr>2urmom
IHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartSh<wbr>inzakura
Appleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPm
Deluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet<wbr>s/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFu<wbr>R7pRXiBUn-IeU
A Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.png<wbr>
The Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/t<wbr>op16/

Previous Thread: >>41058753

>>41085344
>apple horse
not great, not terrible

fifth for fuck all, which is exactly how much i wrote this week. again.

>>41085344
Oh, she's presenting a trophy to Rarity. How cute.

>>41085629
That's not the best rapemeat trophy.

>>41085629
That one would be titled Best Diva.

>>41085629
Finally, someone with taste in this den of sodomy!

Prey and a Lamb<br>Why would happen if Prey met a real lamb, that's a ewe?

>>41085814
Considering he tried to possessed a deer fawn it wouldn't be pretty. Prey is an asshole.

>>41085694
Rarity is so pretty, but goddammit Pinkie Pie is the prettiest pony there is

>Just read/watched a 981 slide chicken little powerpoint fanfiction from 2006 written by a 12 year old with /v/ and didn't sleep a wink all night
Fanfiction really is magical

which mane six character is the best target for snuff fiction?

>>41086464
Rarity, <s>as the snuffer.</s>

>>41086404
I'll give you that.
>captcha: G0TY

>>41086464
Its a matter of taste as they all have their appeals, but only the edgiest writers would snuff Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.

>>41086575
With Pinkie, there's at least the excuse of balancing out the likes of Cupcakes.

Give me the most pretentious stories you know of.

>>41086624
There was a snobby slogfest of a fic some years ago, but I can't quite remember it...

>>41086626
Seeing the question immediately made me expect both this answer and this exact joke.
You're getting too predictable, /fimfic/.

>>41086494
>>41086557
Rarity self-mutilation where?

>>41086624
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/11<wbr>7558/a-single-step
Because the Joyce one was too obvious.

>>41086736
>Twilight accidentally steps on a snail.

>>41086736
NTA but I read it. Thanks, I hate it.
The story is written well and it's certainly "a story" you could choose to tell, but it's a lot more perversely pessimistic and cynical than the original, despite having ponies in it. That's an achievement, and most certainly not a good one. I enjoyed reading it, and I cannot downvote it in good conscience, but I kind of hate it.

>>41087269
It tastes like blue. What are you, stupid?

>>41087269
It tastes like alumanylidynecobalt

>got another idea for an oc-only fic
>know no one will read it
>know i have to write it anyway

>>41087429
You and me both, brvder.
<s>I'm wondering if it's a bad idea to have all of their names be puns.</s>

R8 my shelf ^:)<br><s>I only have Fo:E because I managed to get it for dirt-cheap at a Polish con.</s>

>>41087459
I don't think I've ever seen that version of a Fo:E print, neat. I wish I had grabbed PH while it was still in stock.

>>41087470
Somehow the AyyLight is the least cringeworthy thing about this.

>>41087470
A story of mine is in your shelf.
You'll have to live knowing that.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

>>41066980
Skirts fan here. I loved it. Reading it was a fever dream. I'd stay up until late only to go to school two hours later and I'd just read it in class. At the time I was also starting to get into /mu/sic so now every time I listen to https://youtu.be/gYkSKXNhQ60?si=jWP<wbr>7-xtIQs_teJIr I think of Lyra, alone, feeling cold. Of winter forests and of her <s>in Arya's realm with chains and cold and rain everywhere.</s>

People here hate its thick prose. I don't. Anytime I pick it up I can lose myself reading it. Don't get me wrong, I find purple prose annoying, but I don't feel that with BGP. Skirts wrote a fic where Rarity <s>spends her life sequestered in Stalliongrad.</s> I think that fic has unbearable purple prose.

Something nobody ever mentions is how in the end, during one of the most "powerful" scenes, <s>skirts literally copies and pastes the "I don't know who you are" letter from V for Vendetta.</s> When I found that out I felt kinda cheated because I cried a lot during that scene.

After finishing reading the fic I was a mess. For weeks I'd go to sleep and wake up thinking about the Lyra's story. My imagination was flying and I had really vivid but unrelated dreams. Also I cried for days lol. Good stuff.

Before reading BGP I would have recommended you to read The Last Tear in Tartarus. It's much shorter but just as powerful if you like BGP.

>>41087470
Yeah. The way the dude talked about it made it seem like the print is a one-man operation. Given that it was 200 złoty (40 in real money), that's not too much of a surprise.
And I got my copy of ph in 2022, right as tensions between Russia and Ukraine. Kinda panic-bought it back then, but I don't regret it.

>>41087470
>Mr Numbers
Did he ever get better again?

>>41087653
no. he remain a brain-damaged asshole.

>>41087657
Awww. Maybe in a couple more years.

>>41088480
Celestia is shorter today.
And her butt looks smaller.

I need a grammar check, /fimfic/. I've seen quite a few fics (including ones with pretty good grammar) repeatedly insist on adding this second comma:
>"That's it," she said, as she followed the other mare outside.
But that doesn't look right to me, and furthermore, neither of the two physical books I quickly referenced -- LotR and The Stand -- ever put the comma between the tag and the "as [action]" part. Well, the one exception would be "he said, as if she'd contradicted him". But the "as if" makes it a different situation.
Is it as simple as both versions being correct?

>>41088536
It's a matter of pacing. The comma is superfluous in both cases, but the two commas back-to-back are painful to look at.

>>41088741
That first comma is necessary for dialogue punctuation. You cannot remove it. But the one immediately after "she said" is what's bothering me. Here's the actual quote that prompted the post:
>"What happened?" Mac asked, as he stepped into the room.
Never in a million years would I keep this comma. I'd really like it to be right, but it reads wrong to me.

>>41088798
Oh, the one within the quotes is obviously where it should be. "Mac asked as he stepped into the room" reads far better than if you forced a comma into there.
When you get too caught up in this stuff, it's best to remember English is a bastard language. It won't ever make perfect sense.

>>41088536
I would cut it down to:
>"That's it." She followed the other mare outside.
Don't need to add who is speaking if additional context makes it obvious.

>>41088536
Your gut is right. You only need a second comma after "[blank] said" if your following it with another quote in the same sentence.

>want to write a fic starring my love
>fear I won't do her justice
I know you miss all the shots you don't take, but I'd really prefer to not fail her.

>>41088888
Based quints of extreme relateableness

>>41088888
Anon, what do you have to fear with numbers like that?

>>41088888
We've all been there.
Some of us still are.

>>41085338
Can I suggest a couple of stories to add to the starter kit or will I get told to fuck off and kms

>>41088888
>not continually working and improving to become worthy of her
ngmi

>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/51<wbr>0257/cypress-zero
This story is a fanfiction first and foremost. For the negative connotations of this, the enjoyment I had reading it was dragged down by the way this story is unpolished. However, the author has a solid grasp on what makes the show worth writing fanfiction of. You’ll have to decide whether this makes the rough ride of the story worth it.

The [Adventure] is obvious, but this story for the most part spends its [Sci-Fi] delivering cyberpunk vibes with the main character on the run from an evil corporate-government amalgamation. Although she is usually enjoyable to read as a perspective character, her name Fokienia is unponylike and highly distracting; a story-wide search and replace helped me with that a lot. Searing Cold, by contrast, varies between not really being a character and being unlikeable whenever he shows characterization.

The great strength of this fic, though, lies in its ponyness. Cyberpunk is dark and depressing, right? Not here, the oppressive corpos aren’t nearly as soullessly malicious as a typical genre piece. It was very entertaining to read about ponies fighting each other with nonlethal weapons, generally being kind and solving their conflicts with communication rather than lasers. Well, there are lasers. The show-level violence doesn’t last all the way to the end of the fic, but it does stay for long enough to be an achievement.

What is not an achievement is the plot and prose. The main character’s backstory is often self-contradictory and the motivations of the cast are almost always unclear both at the macro and micro scale. There are many interactions where the back and forth is simply nonsensical. There is a constant stream of passages seem like they’re meant to evoke some visual, but fall on their face due to just not using the right words. This is on top of basic English mistakes like less/fewer/in/on and so on. Also, the ending is not good.

In the end, you'll have to decide if you want to wade into this very long, very fanfic of a story for some ponies, given how many stories there are on FiMFic that are better than just fanfiction. If you do, you can at least be sure that there are ponies in it, which is far better than so much of what it shares a site with.

>>41088974
So Cypress Zero is a pretty excellent punching bag for this type of example. Basically, any chapter you go to, you can find strange wording within a handful of paragraphs.

There are several ways in which you can make interacting with stuff like ChatGPT more efficient for this purpose. In this case, I used the customize option to give it this initial set of instructions:

>You are a creative my little pony fanfiction copy editor that is familiar with storytelling conventions and writing evocative scenes.
>I will provide text of a my little pony fanfiction story and you will identify passages that are written poorly, and edit their wording. You will pay particular attention to passages with incorrectly used words or poor phrasing. When changing the phrasing, you will try to infer and capture the intended pictures and feeling for that passage. If the intended meaning is ambiguous, you will ask for clarification on it. You may also provide multiple rewritten versions for alternate interpretations.
>If there are no passages that need changing, ask for the next section.

The thing to be mindful of when writing something like this is that it serves a dual purpose. It is somewhat helpful in making ChatGPT actually follow instructions. Much more importantly, the purpose it serves is to focus the attention of the language model on the topic that you're using it for. You can do this in another way: first by talking about MLP fanfiction and then asking it questions about MLP fanfiction. The general idea is to fill its context window with this discussion in order to counteract the inherent problem of it "thinking" in every possible direction simultaneously.

Examples below.

>>41088977
>Nopony’s interest dawdled too much on them as they galloped down the Cupresso streets. Hugging close to the buildings, Gearstride drove them back toward the outer-edges of the city. After two blocks of traveling, they slowed, slinking to the edges of the crowds once again. There were substantially less ponies than before, but more than enough to give Cold reason to stick right by Gearstride’s side. She wasn’t bothered by the lack of spacing, but he figured there were currently more pressing matters than an invasion of personal space.
Nopony paid them much attention as they galloped down the Cupresso streets. Hugging close to the buildings, Gearstride led them toward the outer edges of the city. After two blocks, they slowed, slipping to the outskirts of the crowd once again. There were significantly fewer ponies than before, but still enough to make Cold stay close to Gearstride. She didn't mind the tight quarters, but he figured there were more pressing concerns than personal space right now.

>“If ponies can be inherently good, then they have shown themselves to be prone to self-corrupting destinies. We may be born equal, but we are made unequal. War is the most accomplished source of imbalance for ponykind.”
“If ponies can be inherently good, they also show a tendency toward self-corrupting destinies. We may be born equal, but we are made unequal. War is the greatest creator of imbalance for ponykind.”

>The shuttle hummed low, and the rooted tunnel of Cypress drew them to the final branch of its concourse.
The shuttle hummed softly as the Cypress tunnel guided them to the final branch of its concourse.

>The elevator arrived at its stop. The hull outside clunked as magnetism swam through metal. A hiss erupted from the doors, and a growl wound through the stale shuttle air; the doors kissed.
The elevator arrived at its stop. The hull outside clunked as magnetism coursed through the metal. A hiss erupted from the doors, and a growl resonated through the stale shuttle air; the doors parted.

>>41088980
>In the spring of cypress trees, Gearstride found her place in that life. War and peace: she could destroy, but she could also create. As both life and machine, she saw everything. The fields were here, and she could plainly see that they yielded what she desired. But the water that fed them was tainted, passed down by some authority above, seeking to break life for their own creation. She, too, had seen her purpose tainted by that force, but the words of the grove cleansed the final vestige of that creator’s control.
In the spring of the cypress trees, Gearstride found her place in that life. War and peace: she could destroy, but she could also create. As both life and machine, she saw everything. The fields lay before her, yielding what she desired. But the water that fed them was tainted, corrupted by some authority above, seeking to break life for their own purposes. She, too, had seen her purpose tainted by that force, but the words of the grove cleansed the final vestiges of that creator’s control.
Here, it didn't change "spring" to "grove" as it should have.

>Flapping caught her eyes and ears, and she tweaked to look at Holly. She skipped across the room, teetering just a hoof’s edge above the floor as she hummed her way to the tiny kitchen’s island. Her head crooned as she reached below and retrieved two bell-shaped glasses, just as easily finagling her way around a modest green bottle, tacked with a red flower of some kind. In a feat that floored Gearstride, she swooped into the side of the counter with her wings flared. Where the glasses should have spilled and fell, she swept them easily onto her wings, balancing her way over to the table. With gentle, eased grace, one glass came down before either of the seated sides. It fizzed softly, but not a drop was spilled.
Flapping caught her eyes and ears, and she turned to look at Holly. Holly skipped across the room, hovering just a hoof's width above the floor as she hummed her way to the tiny kitchen's island. Her head dipped as she reached below and retrieved two bell-shaped glasses, effortlessly maneuvering around a modest green bottle adorned with a red flower. In a feat that amazed Gearstride, Holly swooped toward the counter, wings flared. Where the glasses should have spilled and fallen, she deftly balanced them on her wings, gliding over to the table. With gentle grace, she set one glass down in front of each of the seated ponies. It fizzed softly, but not a drop was spilled.

>>41088923
Yes to both.
Wait until the next time we want to rework the kit.

Now, anti-ChatGPT-anon likes to make fun of people for using ChatGPT. However, Anon's episode with data loss reminded me that there are a bunch of illiterate authors here, just of the how-to-operate-a-computer-kind.
What you have to be mindful of when following links out of 4chan to the better tools like Claude is that you are still following links out of 4chan and these are pirate sites. They largely function by stealing API keys from other apps and repackage the access in their own site. It is exactly the sort of situation where you can expect to get got by XSS or CSRF vulnerabilities, when you don't take basic steps like using NoScript and tab containers to protect yourself. If you don't mind the likelihood that these proxies are to run exploits in your own browser too, by all means, have fun with them. The other options are to use ChatGPT, which is very easy to get and also free, or another tool that's worse than ChatGPT, or >pay for it.
Maybe someone who has Claude or whatever can demonstrate why you'd want to use it, but I think this shows that the basic stuff is good enough.

>>41086624
It’s the one you’re thinking of right now as you read this.

>>41088888
Quints demand you write a story for your love.

>>41088536
It looks fine to me. I think you’re overthinking it.

>>41088974
Remember that each post has to have the >review at the start so the bot picks it up.
Then again, I think it ends at every > it notes, so so the anon who runs that site may have to import them manually.

>>41088986
>these are pirate sites
>It is exactly the sort of situation where you can expect to get got by XSS or CSRF vulnerabilitie
I'm not the "anti-ChatGPT-anon", but you clearly have no idea how any of this works. You don't visit the proxy's site. First you download a chatbot frontend (or use a web-based one), and you put the proxy's address in the right field in the app. Even if you need to visit the proxy's site for some reason, those are HuggingFace sites, which is protected and entirely safe. This is an example of a "proxy site": https://ami001-merkava.hf.space/
You cannot use them without a frontend like Silly Tavern, they're just redirect links for your app's API calls.
Worse than not knowing, you didn't know and falsely assumed, and then presented it as a fact.

>>41089056
Only the first post was a review, the rest of the chain was discussing the process of using ChatGPT to edit, and not strictly talking about CZ.
I know the bot doesn't stop at >, but I'm pretty sure it does stop at >>. It also stops at specifically >end, and you can put multiple >reviews in the same post. The >review doesn't have to be at the beginning of the post, it'll pick it up in the middle, and you can have several >reviews per post. I would be pretty amused if it crashed while parsing this, though.

>>41089070
OK, they don't work how I thought they did. Sorry about that. It still makes more sense to me to think twice before jumping on them.

The second dialogue only entry to receive more than 50 likes is another le meta. Hope is lost.

>>41089095
This is why we need hundreds of alts spamming dislikes on anything the hivemind doesn't like.

>>41089078
The possible dangers of proxies are that you expose your IP to the proxy (obviously), and that they could, in theory, save and log your prompts before forwarding them. The code that they all use has logging status displayed on the HF site and 90% of proxies have it disabled, but a malicious proxy owner with basic coding knowledge could modify a couple lines to quietly add the logging back in.
Merely using proxies doesn't break any laws so this is not a problem unless you put your personal information into your prompts for some reason.

>>41088980
>>41088983
Thanks, I hate it. Seems like about 1/3 of the changes are fixing real errors, and the rest are just making the prose more bland and generic.

>>41088986
On top of what the other anon said, I'd be very surprised if clicking a link to sketchy.ru got you in trouble via XSS or CSRF in the current year. I'm not sure XSS would even apply, since it's more about a site letting UGC run scripts in the context of the same site, with access to login cookies and such. And every major website and framework has CSRF protection nowadays.

>>41088536
Without the comma it reads much better.

>>41089214
>Without the comma it reads much better.
Ironic.

>>41089262
You know what? I'm gonna write my next fic without any commas just to prove a point.

I just realized no nose knows is the only fix I’ve read containing or implying sex where it wasn’t pre-marital. <br>Are there any other fics with sex that isn’t pre-marital?

>>41089370
marriage is a fucking scam. it's no coincidence the show went to shit in the wedding episode.

>>41089370
No sex is pre-marital if you never get married. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/37<wbr>7126/always-hungry

>>41089391
The image seemed familiar (actually it was only familiar because I recently went through a lot of NMM pics on the boorus) so I desu'd for it and found an /mlpg/ post from almost exactly 10 years ago: >>18027474
It even has the same name; neat to randomly see the backstory confirmed.

>>41089452
Just this thread I finished posting the Lunas my script says I've never posted before. I had posted those Lunas before, it's just that desu's archive has huge multi-year gaps. The gaps appeared when their search went down after hiroshimoot removed thread IP counts, which was before I finished my script.
For example, I posted >>41088980 in mid-2022, but it's not on desu. Here's another for you.

>>41088808
>English is a bastard language.
Proper Latin could have been the daddy, but Frenchie cucked him real good

Guys, be real with me. Does this come off as edgy?<br>They're in a sad moment, but upon rereading this, I can't help but feel I'm hamming it up too much.

>>41089648
Yeah, a tad too hammy. Change the metaphor around a bit.

>>41089648
I mean... can there be streetlamps inside?

>>41089648
Replace the second darkness with 'gloom' or something else, putting 'darkness' two times in a row, especially with 'creeping' sounds stiff.

>>41089670
If the "inside" is the Evenmere, why not?

>>41089777
Witnessed.
Lunaflag in shambles.

>>41087470
I'm annoyed that the spines of the Norseword books are just the same art repeated and they didn't split up the art between the volumes.

>>41088536
>Is it as simple as both versions being correct?
This, really. Dialogue formatting doesn't really have a standard since most grammar rules have been formalized around academic or technical writing and there's so many "styles" of creative writing.

Technically, the Purdue OWL does state:
>Use commas to set off dialogue tags such as "she said" or "he explained."
So that could be where they're coming from, with the dialogue tag viewed as a sort of parenthetical phrase, but the OWL's centered around formal writing and the section dealing with narration grammar is essentially a footnote.

>>41088848
The "as" does serve an important purpose as it tells the reader the line's being said while the action is happening. Without it, she talks, then walks outside.

>>41088536
If the comma is correct, then it will remain correct if you replace parts of the sentence with equivalent phrases. Starting from:
>"That's it," she said, as she followed the other mare outside.
we can simplify to:
>She talked, as she followed the other mare outside.
>"That's it," she said, as she finished.
>She talked, as she finished.
The last one is visibly ungrammatical. Therefore the original sentence is also ungrammatical.

>>41089650
>>41089689
I reworked the opener. I think I'd rather dwell on why they feel the way they do through their dialogue rather than me spelling it out.

>>41089440
ACW was so bad that people can't help but feel a need to try and fix it.

>>41090290
It's an interesting situation, because even though you're right, it was also almost everyone's favorite episode when it premiered. Chrysalis's reveal was one of the the most exciting moments in the show's history. It was Derpy-tier. If you tell me you weren't cheering as This Day Aria started, I'd call you a poser and a newfag.

>>41090354
I liked it well enough but watching it when it aired and it's easy to see that the pacing is utterly fucked.

>>41090354
This Day Aria was a great song, among the show's best, and Chrysalis was cool, the problem is that the episode was incredibly superficial. If you give it any thought for even a single second the entire thing crumbles. The combination of Chrysalis being cool and the episode being stupid is what I'd say most causes people to want to make fixfics for it.

>>41090372
Oh, for sure. The Toy Princess complaints were entirely justified as well. But in the young fandom's opinion, that was hardly significant enough to put a dent in one of the coolest episodes in the show. Chrysalis was one thing, but that bug fight scene was something no one expected to see in FiM.

>>41090385
That could be it. I guess fic writers think about the episodes at least a little more than the average fan.

>>41089095
I wouldn't worry about it. Having skimmed it, it breaks the rules in multiple ways. Formatting is the same as using colors (explicitly banned by the rules) and it also has actual narration in it, it's just spoken by one of the characters.

oldluna puts the cape and hat to better use.png

>>41090925
Come on, we were on page fucking seven two minutes ago.

>>41090929
Wasn't on 7 anymore! Any excuse to post Lunas is a good one.

Maybe the real glitches were the friends we made along the way.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4<wbr>13726/glitched-stitches
This one was weird. It has that amateurish flare where things go too fast and it feels like we're skipping over something, but the writing itself is polished enough, aside from some typos and one repeated mistake. The story is interesting, at least in concept, though the execution leaves something to be desired for me. It's perhaps a bit too meta for my tastes, even if I usually like meta things. It's an AU in the sense that it AUs the real world as well, which I suppose is a cool thing to see even if a little weird. The Motherboard is a cool setting, at least in principle, though it feels heavily underutilised beyond the first chapter or two. Same goes for the whole concept of how glitches are. Actually, a lot of this fic fees like it doesn't go anywhere past its introduction.
Babs as a character barely exists in it, for example, and despite her glitch supposedly being a big deal nothing comes of it in the story itself. Her being Coco's prototype is a rushed point and very unclear, too. The relationship / shipping between Dust and Coco is brought up once and never again. A big deal is made out of Coco needing to take care of Babs, but then that's brushed aside too. In general a lot of this fic is just cool concepts with an under-baked execution. There's this pervasive lack of any weight or consequences for the events, and then things get resolved by a near literal deus ex machina. After an actually cool intro and a decently good first chapter, it feels like, pun intended, the story comes apart at the seams.
It's not all terrible and bad though, I suppose. Lightning has cool stuff going on with all her upgrades and I wish we got to see more of that, like with so much else. This is mainly a Coco fic, and at least on that front it stays consistent. Lightning's glitch is cool, even if it's spoiled by the chapter titles and if I'm not sure how I feel about her cutting Season 3 short. The emotional core of the ending is solid, and it almost tempted to make me leave a like on the fic, even if ultimately I didn't. I'm not really sure how to feel about it, overall, to be honest. The whole thing feels, like I've already said, underdeveloped. Plot points fly by like the whole deal with what the creators truly want and the supposed test they put Coco and the others through, and a lot of things have little to no relevance after being brought up the first time. But some of the emotional beats work out well and the concepts are generally cool. It would probably need to be a third longer or so or written differently to be properly good, but as it is I'm not mad I read it or anything. At least it had some cool ideas and a strong-ish start.
Since no one voted, again, next week we're reading:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2<wbr>25065/a-prophecy-of-worlds-to-fall
You should decide what we'll read after, too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

This pic only exists because the author commissioned it for a different fic.png

>>41091090
I'll start by saying that it's super interesting how this fic takes an entirely absurd meta concept with no significance in the actual show and then builds its entire world around it. Now 'with it', but making it the focus of this AU and trying to have it make sense. Commendable effort, and it makes for a fun read.
Except that it's way too short for what it attempts to do. I'd be fine with an anthology-like series of self-contained adventures that the characters here undertake, and I'd also be fine with a more reasonably paced, longer adventure with this fic's story. But we get neither.

That's the main issue I have with the fic. The first half of it reads pretty nicely... as the opening of a 150k adventure. Instead, we basically get the "time is convoluted" meme, and all the drama happens so fast that it's difficult to care about it too strongly. I swear, all the stuff about Lightning Dust's envy or about Coco being a mother for Babs feels extremely shallow due to how fire-and-forget it all is. A shining example of Wasted Potential: The Fic among technically finished stories. It's not that the scenes are written too poorly, but they lack the necessary context; they're just kind of out there and have no depth.
The Motherboard—which the fic presents as an interesting idea—also gets basically nothing after the initial info dump. I'd like to read more about Coco exploring it, maybe with the other two tagging along. But no, none of the information that we get is ever relevant again, and the fic simply ends. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that the setting feels underexplored. It's better than making a boring setting, that's for sure. The fic even reads like it was preparing to tackle some of the concepts more philosophically, but no, we're told, for example, that they're fake and that's it, or that they all want to come back to Equestria.

All in all, while the post might imply otherwise, I enjoyed reading it. I enjoyed it enough to leave a like, even. It would not be fair to blame the story when its largest issues are:
1) "It reads like it wanted to be something more, but it's a scifi-flavored SoL" and it's actually tagged Sci-fi + SoL, and

2) "It feels a bit 2meta4me", when that's the entire premise.
The writing was actually surprisingly good. It wasn't actively improving the story, but it's clear and mostly error-free, which is as much as you can realistically expect. The worst I can say about it is that I'm pretty sure the author is not an ESL, so the occasional mistakes like "sweeped" or a few strange phrasings are a bit odd.

>>41089209
For Sarge's writing style of taking a somewhat normal sentence and jamming an evocative word into it somewhere to make it evoke something, ChatGPT tended towards just removing that word as a corrective measure, which was disappointing. The temperature control buttons aren't in the web UI for ChatGPT anymore, but they are available in Bing Copilot. I got it to sprinkle a thesaurus on the text, as well as get it to flow better than the worst outputs of ChatGPT 4o.

>>41088980
The interest of the other ponies didn’t linger on them as they dashed through the streets of Cupresso. Clinging to the shadows of the buildings, Gearstride steered them towards the city’s outskirts. After covering two blocks, their pace decreased, and they began to merge with the crowd’s fringes once more. The number of ponies had thinned, yet it was still crowded enough for Cold to see the wisdom in staying close to Gearstride. The proximity didn’t seem to trouble her, but he sensed that, at the moment, there were more urgent concerns than a breach of personal space.

The shuttle’s hum was a soft undertone, and the tunnel, veined like the roots of Cypress, guided them to the last junction of its network.

>>41088983
Amidst the verdant cypress grove, Gearstride discovered her niche in existence. In the dance of war and peace, she held the power to both ravage and rebuild. Embodying both the organic and the mechanical, her vision encompassed all. The fields lay before her, bountiful and clear, offering up the fruits she sought. Yet, the life-giving waters were corrupted, trickling down from some higher mandate, intent on fracturing life to forge their own designs. Gearstride had felt her own essence marred by this influence, but now, the grove’s whispers washed away the lingering stain of the creator’s dominion.

Nobody warned me the recovery period for eye surgery was this much of a bitch.

I don't know what I'm more afraid of: that in 10 years the fanfic scene will be dead and gone with 5 new stories per day, or that it'll deteriorate into all self-insert, porn, and/or crossover crap with no actual ponies left in it. I know we'll never run out of old stories to read, but it'd still be a shame.<br>Please don't let this happen, anons.

>>41091435
There's always Equestria at War!

>>41091435
Don’t worry, unless you kill yourself or get killed in the next ten years you’ll have far bigger things to worry about then there being no good fics being made in that old fandom you were a part of and so it won’t even cross your mind.

>>41091597
I doubt it. Ten years ago people said the same thing, and if I had to guess, they'll also say it in ten more.

>>41091435
Relaaaaax lil nigga! People will write what they want to write and sometimes it’ll mesh with your tastes and sometimes it won’t. In the mean time, try combing through some old fics without many views. You’ll find something good hidden under the rocks, I guarantee it.

>>41091090
Man, I want to love this story. It does some fun things, but it's marred by the execution.
This digital Equestria is interesting. I want to know more of it. I want to know more about its inner workings, its hierarchy, other programs, and how they view rhe Creators. The glimpses this story gives are great.
And that's the issue, isn't it? It offers nothing more than glimpses. Just flashes of the greatness hidden under the surface. Just look at Babs. She plays an important part of the story and the development of Lightning and Coco, but we never see things from her perspwctive, or get any meaningful scene between them.
One reason is the length of the story, sure, but the biggest drawback has got to be the writing style. I found it to be roo detached. Impersonal, even. Wqs it written this way to show the AIs way of thinking? Maybe, but I don't think it resulted in a better story. I would've preferred to get more regular scenes with a simple prose to show the dynamics of the trio, or perhaps some more specific reminiscing about other ponies.
While frustrating, I can't say I'm di#appointed to have read this story. I would've loved to read a full fledged thriller about these glitched bots surviving on the outside of their reality, but what we got is enough for me to like.

>>41091090
Also, voting for https://www.fimfiction.net/story/20<wbr>8652/what-is-left

>>41091435
>or that it'll deteriorate into all self-insert, porn, and/or crossover crap with no actual ponies left in it.
Anon..........

>>41091800
Please stop this doomposting. The vast majority of fics were always shit, and while self-insert stuff has become more common lately, it took place of other, similar-quality crap. Right now, of the 7 new fics in the sandbox, only 1 is HiE. It gets worse on some days, sure, but it's too bad.

>>41091941
>it's too bad.
Not too bad, kek.

>>41091435
>waah waah waah the only good fics are the ones that use the tags i like and everything else is objective shit
Joyless retard

>>41092024
>everything else is objective shit
There are plenty of tags I don't like but wouldn't claim aren't good.
Self-insert and porn are almost never good stories. They're as close as you can get to objectively shit because they are written for purposes other than being good stories, and this comes at the cost of the story's quality in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred.

>>41092039
Wow, you said that statement with so much conviction so it must be true.

>>41092043
Well, do you actually disagree? Would you say that they're written with story quality as their main goal, rather than titillating the audience?

>>41091090
>>41091690
It's another of those weeks where I find my opinion almost entirely aligning with everything the other posters said, and thus I find little to discuss aside from arguing minor details. This is also probably why nobody else has bothered. As I said in my post, this is the fic's main problem:
>Actually, a lot of this fic fees like it doesn't go anywhere past its introduction.
>It offers nothing more than glimpses.
However, earlier I suggested that the story didn't have the time to expand on its concepts, but after thinking it through, I don't think it's true at all. Rather, the story was not interested in ever following up on anything that got established and used all of its words to repeatedly introduce new (often good) elements, only to always abandon them immediately afterwards. I'll still say I liked it, but viewing it in this light makes me feel a bit less sure about the updoot that I left.

>>41092168
>make a post before going to sleep
>still being the newest post itt when I woke up, at page 9
As the kids would say it, it's cocover

>janny misclicked
Seems you really do get what you pay for.

Anons, might be a bit unrelated, but what time zone does FimFiction use?

>>41092856
UTC, if you can find it. Knighty's gone all-in on the relative cancer, so figuring out precise times can be a pain.

I was debating joining the ongoing mini-drama under Flutterpriest's rant fic, but I'm too weak to openly express my opinion about contentious topics. At most I'll make an alt like a coward.<br>Don't be like me, anons.

>>41092980
Share it here then. I don't much see what the fuss is about. Most everyone present in the comments seems to agree that the site kinda went to shit with the amount of AiE and porn-spam.
The only thing that kind of gave me pause is whether this is wholly about the site or about someone I'm too new to know.

>>41093003
>everyone in the comments
But most of those people are larger authors with a lot of horsewords to back their opinion up.
The come I wrote (and didn't post) mostly shared those sentiments, while also trying to say that bitching about AiE or the site's state like what this "fic" is doing won't change anything and that, to actually fix the site, (You) need to write with passion and hope others will do the same. It shouldn't be too bad, but I generally think that staying out of any drama is almost always correct. There's just nothing to gain. Or maybe I'm just being even more of a coward than I thought and can't even say what I mean where I have to put a name to the thought; there's a reason I avoid commenting.

>>41092980
>I was debating joining the ongoing mini-drama
Never join the drama, anon. It's never worth it.

>>41093019
>bitching [...] won't change anything
True, but from what I can see OP seems resigned rather than wanting change. I mean, he ends the whole fic with "can't beat a dead horse".
>to actually fix the site, (You) need to write with passion and hope others will do the same
That's a very fimmy moral, but I don't think it necessarily works in this situation.
For once, the bot situation could only be fixed from top down. A handful of mods simply aren't enough to work against an automated process. At minimum Fimfic should get a stronger captcha system and a serious purge of fake accounts.
And for two you can write all the wholesome shit you want if that's not what the lowest common denominator are interested in. Which, despite what you might be thinking, doesn't mean I'm saying you should pander, I think it's always nicer to write stuff with soul in it, it just alone won't magically fix the site.
The most (You) and I can do is to enjoy and engage with stuff we consider more valuable than slop.
>staying out of any drama is almost always correct. There's just nothing to gain
Based, but I don't yet really see the drama in the comments. More just people venting and being generally upset with the site.

bookclub will be delayed 15 minutes, apologies for the inconvenience

>>41093043
>delayed 15 minutes
It's over...

>>41093037
>OP seems resigned rather than wanting change
Yeah, and that's (imo) even worse! I'm a foolish idealist with zero consideration of how things actually work in the real world, but giving up is the single worst thing you can do. I do not think mass bots are the problem. I don't even think mass posting of garbage HiE/porn is the problem. The main problem the site has is that not enough people put in the effort these days. And they (semi-rightfully) blame it on the popularity of "slop", but that's retarded thinking. You shouldn't feel de-incentivized by worse stories doing better than your fics; that leads to nowhere good. Just try to write great fics and look for others who are doing the same. And that's also why I didn't post -- that would only make things worse. Hell, my comment was this:

I do believe that, in an ideal world, people would not write fanfiction for clout or money, full stop. I know it's silly and overly idealistic, but, in my stubborn personal opinion, fanfiction should primarily be an expression of passion for these little ponies and their world, and for the community that kept the ride going for so long and will keep it going for many years to come. And there are just as many other great reasons to write fics as there are writers, for example, wanting to get better at creating art or to expand on the world we all (I presume) love. While it's a wonderful feeling to see people reading and enjoying something that you created, making that the sole goal feels simply wrong to me.

It's true that the site has been going through a bit of a rough time regarding the quality of fics posted. I even considered changing my name and pic due to how extremely misleading they got (they were always meant as a tribute to the "golden age" of 2012s, /mlp/, and our love of ponies; not the green ape that took the site by storm), but I think that, ultimately, the only way to improve things is to write the fics that you'd want to see written and hope that others do the same. Complaining about the abundance of HiE/insert-low-quality-popular-topi<wbr>c-here does not bring any positive change. I'm much more of a reader than a writer, and I intentionally stay away from the site drama in 99.99% of cases, but I thought this was the rare exception that deserved some kind of reaction.

>>41093003
>The only thing that kind of gave me pause is whether this is wholly about the site or about someone I'm too new to know.
It's flutterpriest. He's prone to these random outbursts of depressive melancholy, in which he vagueposts about an unstated incident that might be tragic or might be merely innocuous. It could be about getting a hangnail for all we know.
>>41093055
>giving up is the single worst thing you can do. I do not think mass bots are the problem. I don't even think mass posting of garbage HiE/porn is the problem. The main problem the site has is that not enough people put in the effort these days.
The problem is that the competent middle have all left. We've got a few superstars clinging on and a bunch of incompetent hacks, like david silver and the smut writers.
As for why they left, I can pinpoint the exact moment the exodus started.
>Hello my mostly straight, mostly male audience.
There was drama before that and drama afterwards, but that was the kill shot. Nobody wants to stick around a fandom space when there's a high risk you'll be treated like utter dirt for something that nobody gave a shit about the day before.

Maybe HIE and smut one-shots are just better written than your stories?

>>41093072
Anon, please, you can stop baiting now. It's apparent to everyone that they're not. Even the fucking chat gpt could tell, I'm sure. That's not what's being discussed.

If you're writing fics-- especially genfics-- to become horse famous in 2024, you're doing it wrong. Either give up or find some intrinsic motivation that doesn't depend on external validation because that dog don't hunt.

>>41093076
>It's apparent to everyone that they're not.
Subjective.

>>41093072
Buy my stories ARE Human in Equestria and smut one-shots!

Feeling witless in
>/FSBC/

I finished the fic, but I won't be saying too much about it today. That's because I maintain what I said last week (that this is not the fic for me) and also because I believe that everything I can say will be a net negative for everyone involved. I can get some enjoyment from everything ranging from tailso to the most shallow SoL fluff and the purplest of purple prose, but I just wasn't flexible enough to like this idea. Even knowing that this is an adaptation, I foolishly clung to the idea of this also being a ponyfic and hoped that we'd get ponies acting as their canon selves rather than as the movie's characters. I also hoped for a brazen twist at the end, steering the fic completely away from how the movie ended and towards something (perhaps even exaggeratedly) pony. And, of course, none of that happened, because this was not a fic where something like that could happen, and I was 100% in the wrong for hoping it would. Well, at least this hope got me to the finish line.

I'm repeating myself, but I need to re-state that, as an adaptation, this does a good job at staying very faithful to its source. Which is precisely what I do not like, and why this was among the bookclub fics that were hard for me to finish. Not for the faults of the fic in the slightest. The quality of the writing is pretty solid, too, and the only thing I disagreed with were the dozens of commas, but that might be more subjective than wrong so let's not dig it up more. They often looked weird to me, but it could be a taste thing. Aside from comma splices, which are definitely wrong.
For me, the ending was a bit disappointing. Why even bother making it exile instead of death (I presume, I haven't watched that far into the movie) when every single bit of context treats it like the death penalty anyway? Well, it was probably meant as a long joke, but that's not my preference. I hope the other anon has something more positive to say, because, as much as I hate to say it, it just didn't work for me. I can see what it did well, though. Have a pretty appuls as an apology.

Next week, we're reading Alarm Clock.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/56<wbr>774/alarm-clock

The only fic left on the voting list is Subjunctive, so I'll make an exception and postpone voting by a week. If we don't get any new suggestions until then, I'll throw in a couple myself.

>>41093093
So I watched the movie as Filly recommended, and I actually liked it. It has this somewhat melancholic feel but also lots of black humor. Now what I read last week makes more sense, and this week's part also clicked more.
BUT. This also made me realize how closely the fic follows the movie. It was said last week, but I can confirm now. Not necessarily scene for scene, but often yes. There are changes, and additions, especially to make it more pony. I actually liked these parts the best. When Applejack meets Twilight in the white room, that was pretty neat, and the mane 6 also got good scenes. The highlight is obviously the trial, and the Element of Honesty doesn't defy her element. Not sure if it was deliberate, but obviously AJ was very fitting for a scene like this.
Now I said I liked the pony parts the best, but the fact the fic insists to poniponi despite the inherently dark source material somehow dilutes the whole thing. In the movie, it hangs in the air (no pun intended) what Pelikan's ultimate fate will be, and in the end, he gets paroled somehow (despite awaiting hanging just the day before). In the fic, it's established early on no such grim fate could befall Applejack, and overall, the tone of the fic is much less serious. Which is fine, of course, it's a pony fic, but for something that tries to be more than just a nod to the original, it doesn't bring the same impact. I never felt any particular tension, but most of the black humor isn't there either. Most things are pony enough that a really bad end isn't on the table. Which, in this particular case, makes this fic worse.
Overall, I can't say for sure where I stand regarding this fic. There is an obvious polish here that most crossovers don't have, and there are pretty fun individual scenes, but it shouldn't have followed the original so closely. I actually await a longfic from Filly which isn't G5 or just an adaptation, because otherwise, he has some writing chops. But right now, all I can say is an "it was alright". Not the average kind, but the "weird mixed bag" kind.

>>41093093
>steering the fic completely away from how the movie ended and towards something (perhaps even exaggeratedly) pony
The movie itself ends with the status quo. Sure the protag gets to go home, but the story is far from even daring to imply things would change. Here I specifically wanted to avoid that by throwing in a bunch of clues that things are getting better.
>Why even bother making it exile instead of death
Because an outright execution to me felt like it'd stretch the mood I was going for too hard and considering this is Appuls we're talking about I think her being separated from all the things she loves the most (i.e. her family and her apples) would be just as bad, if not worse as death.
>Which is precisely what I do not like,
Did you at least like the parts that went more or less completely their own way?
>it just didn't work for me
Shame, but thanks for sticking with it.

>>41093100
>I actually liked it
Well, I consider it all a half-success then.
>the fact the fic insists to poniponi
I find it funny that Raraflag's issue was that it's not pony enough and yours that it's too pony. I guess maybe it comes down to how much you know the original? I definitely tried to go for as pony as I could while sticking to the original.
>it's established early on no such grim fate could befall Applejack
I certainly can't affect how you feel about the choice, but I can only bring up what I wrote to Raraflag as defence: I think to AJ being dead and being forcibly separated from the ones she loves would be the same.
>I actually await a longfic from Filly
I'm not sure if I'll ever get there... I mean, I wish I did! I still think writing is a great hobby, but I just haven't felt the same drive recently. Maybe once I have my degree.
Either way, thanks for reading it and I'm glad you had at least some fun with the fic.

>>41093100
>here are changes, and additions, especially to make it more pony. I actually liked these parts the best.
>and the mane 6 also got good scenes
Maybe I wrote it in the most confusing way possible, but while I wasn't too fond of some of the M6 characterizations (AJ being dumb and some of the things Ponk had to do)*, I actually feel the same way you do about the fic's original content. Especially the original M6 scenes. Isn't that bad, though? Doesn't "what I liked in this crossover was everything that was not a crossover" imply that the concept just didn't work for (You)?
*Yet you can't call them OOC, because the fic is an AU with those being their established personalities here.
>the tone of the fic is much less serious. Which is fine, of course, it's a pony fic
I don't know if I agree. The fic already treats it like hanging the whole time, so this doesn't do much to "pony" it up for me, while simultaneously lowering the impact of it. I read the fic first, and it's still 100% evident that AJ was waiting for her death her in the original.
And I agree with "alright" as my impression of the whole thing. I didn't dislike it, but I can't say I liked it much.

>>41093112
>Here I specifically wanted to avoid that by throwing in a bunch of clues that things are getting better.
Sure, but that's more of a background to the story happening in the fic. There's the notion that things are maybe getting better (at least for now), but the story of the characters, of AJ and PP, ends up kind of the same with the trial and the prison/hanging also following the movie's big plot points. Doing anything else would probably piss off all the people who enjoyed a faithful adaptation, so it probably would've been the wrong thing to do anyway.
>Did you at least like the parts that went more or less completely their own way?
Yeah, I did. But, if it makes any sense, it felt that I liked the parts of the fic that weren't what the fic was about (or how it felt to me).
>Raraflag's issue was that it's not pony enough and yours that it's too pony
I do want to comment on this, though. I think both of those opinions are coming from a roughly similar place, mostly just expressed differently. Namely, the mismatch between the source and FiM, and the attempt at staying so close to the original.

>>41093112
>I find it funny that Raraflag's issue was that it's not pony enough and yours that it's too pony.
Only kinda sorta. The subject material is pretty far removed from pony, so at that point, you could have gone a bit more grimdark. If someone begins to read a story like this, I think that person expects at least some edge. So trying to stay too pony doesn't actually benefit it.

Why does every character I write turn into a snarky asshole?

>>41093093
I'm the anon who briefly shared my thoughts last week. I had finished the fanfic at that time and generally enjoyed it.
Regarding the pony/non-pony aspect, the issue, in my view, is that it's merely a layer of MLP paint on a story that fundamentally doesn't align with, and may even oppose, the original spirit of MLP. Even if the overlay is well-executed, it doesn't fully mask the underlying content.
Had I read the fic without knowing its origin, I would still have sensed something was off, suggesting it was either based on existing material or simply a vehicle for the author to critique a system unrelated to the ponies.

As for the narrative itself, I really appreciated the segments where Applejack botches her assigned tasks, her reunion with Twilight, and the trial.

Also, am I the only one who was expecting something more from the 'Intercreatural Situation Is Intensifying'? Perhaps it's the intended joke, but it kind of fell flat for me

>>41093206
Because you touch yourself at night.

>>41093233
Is touching oneself during the morning the secret to superior writing?

>>41093236
Touch yourself during writing.

>>41093239
this is how we ended up with all this hie and clop.

>>41093230
>a layer of MLP paint on a story that fundamentally doesn't align with, and may even oppose, the original spirit of MLP
Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. The execution is largely good, but your enjoyment of the story will depend on how much you need your fics to be fimfics. I'm notoriously bad about this, so that's why I didn't enjoyed it too much. Credit where its due for attempting to adapt something so completely different from ponies and having it make sense in the end, however. Tasked with something like this, I think that your two options are either pawing over the original's themes and ideas (only taking elements from it), or adapting it very closely, like this fic did.
>Intercreatural Situation Is Intensifying
I haven't finished the movie so I do not know if the payoff for it happens there (I doubt it), but it's a memorable quote that the Pinkie in the movie repeats a lot in the same context. Same with the marzipan cake quote.

>>41093143
>imply that the concept just didn't work for (You)?
>I liked the parts of the fic that weren't what the fic was about
That makes sense. I guess it really was just an unwinnable situation.

>>41093230
>it's merely a layer of MLP paint on a story that fundamentally doesn't align with, and may even oppose, the original spirit of MLP
This is a fair critique and one I really cannot refute in any way, but there's plenty of stories that are unfimmy and yet work. What's different?
>expecting something more from the 'Intercreatural Situation Is Intensifying'?
This is also to answer >>41093262, it's one of the things I'm kinda regretful I didn't spin into something.
In the original Pinkie's equivalent often justifies her actions saying "the international situation is intensifying" which is a nonsensical line meant as a nod to the usual Soviet propaganda of "any moment now the imperialist West will invade and we must be ready". Obviously here because there's no historical background the joke only works in the meta sense and I freely admit that it kinda sucks. The marzipan cake one, I think works better because it's something you'd expect Pinkie to say.

>>41092045
Alright, I’ll stop being an abrasive asshole and give you a straight answer. I’m of the opinion that there is no such thing as writing convention that is inherently bad. It may be rare, but I’ve seen self inserts and porn be done quite well. I would say that a story that effectively titillates the audience is inherently good as it provokes an emotional reaction. A story that leaves the reader feeling dull is just a waste of time. So, yes, porn is often without depth, but I wouldn’t say that it is necessarily unartful. Porn can be written beautifully and have an interesting setup, though I admit the majority is fetish tier that doesn’t bother justifying the interaction. I mainly reacted negatively to your first post as I misinterpreted it as the typical “doomer contrarian” attitude that often is expressed on this website, but I see where you’re coming from.

>>41093026
Based. Stay malding ponyfags.

>>41093072
You’re going to make the retards here blow a gasket

>>41093270
>This is a fair critique and one I really cannot refute in any way, but there's plenty of stories that are unfimmy and yet work. What's different?
First off, like the Rariflag, I'm probably not the ideal audience for this kind of fanfic. For a story like this to truly resonate with me, it would need to have a clear vision or a compelling reason to deviate from the original universe, something that makes me say, "I understand why he took this direction."

From what I understand, you wrote this fic because it's based on your favorite movie, and you obviously love ponies. It seems you intended this work as both a tribute and a creative exercise. I don’t want to assume too much, so please correct me if I'm talking shit.

The issue I see is that while the inclusion of ponies is, of course, always fucking great, the combination doesn’t seem to offer a coherent vision or add significant value. Worse yet, they seem to sabotage each other. (I need to watch the movie to confirm >>41093100
>most of the black humor isn't there either.)

It's impressive that you managed to blend these two into something cohesive. But as a reader, I'm left with the lingering question: "Why?". The integration appears forced at times, as if you were trying to fit square pegs into round holes. Your explanation for 'Intercreatural Situation Is Intensifying' seems to reflect this.

As I've mentioned, it's like a clever pony-themed overlay on another piece, but I was hoping for something more than just a facade, something that stands out as distinctly its own. Watching the movie is now on my list (you've succeeded in one of your goals), but like others, I suspect my favorite parts are those that aren’t direct adaptations from the source.

Hope I was clear, I'm not really used to this.

Which author has the best prose apart from RunicTreeTops?

>>41093799
I vote Marcel Proust, who never moved out of his parents' home and eventually became a shut-in. He very well might have been a horsefucker if he had been born in our era.

>>41093463
>The integration appears forced at times, as if you were trying to fit square pegs into round holes.
Ah, a good metaphor. I may add that those square pegs were attempted to be filed down to round, with varying degrees of success.

I was hesitant about shilling this, but I write maybe three fics per year, so there's probably no harm in it:

There's a painting that was left behind by the late Granny Pie. Hidden away in the attic and carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth, it preserves the smile of the filly it depicts.
She doesn't feel too lonely, really.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>57835/the-lonesome-painting

I wouldn't say it's my finest work, but it's the best I could come up with for the dialogue-only contest. I'll post a no-dialogue fic to balance out this one.

>>41093868
It isn’t meta shit so it’s good in my book.

>>41093928
Having written this, I'm not surprised that both of the top entries are meta; the stipulation is very restrictive and meta lets you circumvent that. Narration, to no one's surprise, seems to play a crucial role in setting and keeping a consistent atmosphere in the story.

purpluna reflects on grilled cheese sandwiches.png

>>41094529
Mordane Stronghoof is the only thing that comes to mind, the protagonist just projects himself onto everyone he meets like a retard and it pretty much drives the entire plot.

>only two people remained to the end of the normal book club
Has such a thing ever happened?

>>41093868
Easy upvote, Anon. It took me until around the first third of the story to finally comprehend what's going on, but after it clicked I really enjoyed it. What a bittersweet little tale! I'm not even sure if you could call the ending good or bad, but that's not a fault. I hope it'll end up in the top 3.
<s>And I'm still looking forward to you updating me on the other thing.</s>

>>41093463
>I'm left with the lingering question: "Why?"
Well, the whole thing started on a random afternoon where I suddenly had the idea of recreating the scene where the movie's protag first meets the villain with AJ and Ponk, which ultimately ended up being chapter 5.
The whole thing went so smoothly that I figured "hey, this is my very favourite movie and it's relatively unknown elsewhere, wouldn't it be fun to turn the whole story into ponies so others might end up watching the original thing?"
This led to a three or so month work and the final story. I guess I was hoping that a combination of the original's brilliance and my modest additions would result in a work that can be enjoyed even if you don't know squat about the soviet system. And I haven't been entirely wrong, since even if /fimfic/ wasn't too wooed, on Fimfic there's been several positive responses (even if one of them was Alondro).

>>41094913
Three. Four, if you count me. And I'm pretty sure it did happen previously, even if not often.

>>41094913
Dead board. It's over...
Maybe we should do a HIE next for participation...

>>41094913
This did happen in the past. Scion of Chaos was the first one because no one else was interested in reading it after the subpar first chapter, and I still maintain it's a decent fic. The quality of the fic doesn't correlate 1:1 with the # of reading anons; TwiGuard 2 may very well be one of the best fics on the site and only 3 people started it. Then they all finished it and liked it a lot.

>>41094943
I know you're joking, mr. shitposter, but you should really lurk more; we did a bunch of HiEs in the club. Aside from Piano Man (which is, to this day, probably the worst fic ever read by the main club), they performed about average to below average. I Dream of Luna was bad, but also fun, and only 2 anons read it.

Bros my current story is finished now all I gotta do is publish the chapters in the upcoming weeks.

>>41095072
>pic
how do I get to this level of delusion?

>>41094913
I often read book club fics without participating because anons always write such long and descriptive reviews, and it'd feel extremely out of place for me to butt in with my half a dozen rambling sentences. I read a lot but i've never written anything and i can't write reviews for shit. Also i often don't have much to say and posting "Nice prose, touching story, i liked it, uhhhhh that's it" doesn't really contribute to the discussion.

>>41094917
>I hope it'll end up in the top 3.
I'd be extremely glad if that happened, of course, but it's already doing better than I thought it would. If it gets to 50 updoots, then it'll be a great success considering its length and the contest's limitations. And also the genres; Sad+Drama is neither very popular nor the best fit for this kind of contest, as can be observed right now seeing how quickly the Discord dialogue fic jumped almost to the top of the bin despite a low views->likes ratio.
>spoiler
Thanks for not losing hope; I'll get to it in a few weeks when I'll have some more time. Unlike these oneshots (this one and a completely different one coming soon-ish), it's difficult to sit down and devote enough time to make real progress on something of that scope. I am astonishingly bad at managing my time, which doesn't help here.

>>41094913
Everyone but me dropped Scion of Chaos the second week.

>>41095084
Do acid with a good headspace and you’ll feel like that for the next week.

>>41095069
sounds good bruh, I hope it makes you cum beyond your wildest dreams

I'd kill for a good nautical adventure fic

>>41096089
It's...it's gonna update soon, right?

>>41096107
I think Ponydora might have just died on us and we'll never know for sure...

>>41095072
This is one of my favourite images. What a great sentiment.

>>41096172
It's a very nice one I searched for from the olden days after my PC got wiped a few years back, aye.

>>41095182
That was exactly my problem with high school English class. We'd read something, and I'd like it. I'd think, "That was great! Let's read another!" And the teacher would say, "Write an essay on the symbolism of the color blue and its relationship to feminism and the author's sexuality." And I'd think, "I don't even know how to bullshit that." Now at least I can just read and enjoy in peace.

>>41096069
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/51<wbr>6937/with-her-majestys-coast-guard
<s>Happens to be exactly two years old, yet it feels like it came out yesterday. I'm getting old.</s>

I’m trying to find a green text that I read a very long time ago. It was posted to fimfic as well. It was on the shorter side and was about anon slowly dying from the residual magic of equestria and on his death bed cadence (she has been with him through most of this) excitedly tells him how he can be saved by being put into the body of a pony but anon declines to her complete shock and chooses to die in an attempt to return home. Shitty synopsis but it is all I remember. If anyone remembers what story this is please link it.

My fellow /fimfic/ anons; please stop being unreasonable. If we do not learn to embrace HIE and Clop one-shot, then we will not survive.

>>41096899
put your flutterflag back on.

>>41096853
Because (You) don't write, read, or argue enough. I'm trying to do my part.

>>41096899
I don't want to back up this anon's opinion, I really don't, but what if we are indeed in the wrong here? AiE has been always very popular on /mlp/, and by now, Fimfic has embraced it as well. Maybe we are the weirdos who just can't accept a fandom convention, and insist there is some intrinsic value to non-AiE fics, while AiE has none. Maybe the time of "normal" fics is truly over, and we should just accept that Anon has taken over. We are a late-phase fandom, after all, don't except fics that could get big in 2012 would do the same now.
I dunno, I'm just... trying to cope I guess, because I know nothing "truly big" will come out of the fanfiction scene anymore, and that makes me sad. But also, this is the only thread that has this knee-jerk reaction to anything "Anon".

>>41097113
>four billion flies can't be wrong about the taste of shit

>>41097113
I like Anon quite a lot. To me, he's a cultural icon that nicely symbolizes both the board (well, technically the chan culture of 2012's, but /mlp/ is one of the last boards to pay homage to it) as well as our attachment to ponies. The reminiscing part of my brain is very content to imagine that Anon, after his shitposting days, earned himself a nice -- if not exactly calm -- retirement in Equestria. I enjoy seeing him in jokes, memes, reaction images, and as a stand-in for /mlp/ (not any single anon, but rather the entire community). To me, Anon is always green, faceless, and with a question mark instead of eyes.

But I do not want to see him in fics on fimfic. And that's not because of a knee-jerk reaction; I just think that fics can do better. Hell, the entire reason *why* I'm into fics is that they've demonstrated, time and time again, that we definitely CAN do better. At a time when the show is over, fimfiction is probably the single best way of upholding the legacy and expanding the world. This is also why I'm usually very strongly in favor of fics that attempt to be "pony".
And AiE is the opposite of that. By throwing in a literal faceless audience surrogate, you're... I don't want to say 'desecrating the world', but certainly make it less than it was in a lot of aspects. Simply allowing (You) to interact with Equestria like this rips the suspension of disbelief and makes the world a lot more shallow. Anon is almost never a good character for any meaningful story. It's cheap, it's lazy, and it panders to the lowest common denominator of readers who can't immerse themselves in fiction unless it has a "literally me" character.

And one more thing: I am not saying it's impossible to make Anon an interesting character and a good fit for a non-crackfic story. But I certainly am saying that AiE writers don't make that their goal. I made an effort to read several fics by the most popular AiE/HiE authors to see if I could get into them, and the answer is that I just can't. Perhaps they really are the best at what they do, but if so, then their (and their readers') priorities and mine are completely misaligned.

>>41097145
Yeah I'm on board with this.
Anon is great as a character that represents 4chan and /mlp/ especially, but pony should be pony because using Anon is often very lazy.
He's fine for shitpost fics, but using him in a major story feels like 'I can't write a pony story without some extremely personal involvement to attach me to the writing'.

>>41097113
>this anon's opinion
Come on...

I'm feeling good anons, my story is back on track and I just updated it.

>>41097319
I hope you get views, upvotes, and comments, Anon.

>>41097153
Sorry to tell you this my main man but an author should be heavily invested in their story on a personal level and doing so isn’t necessarily self insertion. Anon can be done well, it’s just that because he causes stories to get a lot of views, lazy writers flock to him.

>>41097143
All that confidence and not a single (You)

Princess Celestia stood on the raised platform, her regal presence unbowed by the chains that bound her. The crowd of Changelings, watched in a tense, hushed silence. Queen Chrysalis, her chitinous form glinting in the dull light of the overcast day. The giant axe, its blade gleaming with a deadly sharpness, levitated menacingly in the magic grasp of the Queen.

Celestia’s heart pounded in her chest, but her face remained stoic. She had faced countless threats in her long life, but this humiliation—stung the most. She could feel the cold iron of the shackles digging into her flesh as she was led towards the heavy wooden block. The platform was rough beneath her hooves, each step echoing in the oppressive silence. She took a deep breath, her eyes briefly meeting those of her sister, Luna, who stood in the crowd, held back by Chrysalis’s guards.

“Any last words, Princess?” Chrysalis’s voice was a cruel hiss, dripping with venomous glee.

Celestia lifted her head high, her gaze sweeping over the assembled crowd. “Equestria will endure,” she said, her voice strong and clear. “Love and friendship will prevail, even in the darkest times. Remember that.”

Chrysalis stepped forward, and with a gentle but firm pressure, guided Celestia to kneel before the block. As as she laid her head down, she felt the rough wood press against her neck, the cold, unyielding surface a stark contrast to the warmth of her body. She closed her eyes, a final, silent prayer escaping her lips.

The moment stretched into eternity. She could hear the faint rustling of the crowd, the distant cawing of a crow, and the rhythmic, almost hypnotic breathing of Chrysalis. She felt the tension in the air, the anticipation of the inevitable.

Then, the Chrysalis raised the axe. Celestia could hear the faint whistling of the blade as it cut through the air, a sound that grew louder with each passing millisecond. And then, in an instant, the blade connected with her neck.

The sensation was immediate and overwhelming. The blade sliced through her throat with a sickening crunch, the thick, fleshy meat of her neck parting under the force of the blow. She felt the sharp, burning pain as the axe severed cervical bone, muscle, and sinew, the sheer violence of the act reverberating through her body. Blood sprayed from the neck stump, a warm, sticky gush that contrasted sharply with the cold steel of the blade.

>>41097450

Time seemed to slow as her head was cleaved from her body. For a brief, agonizing moment, she was acutely aware of every nerve ending, every fiber of her being. She felt the final, desperate beats of her heart, the fading warmth of her blood as it poured from the severed vessels. Her vision blurred, the world tilting and spinning as her head was lifted from the block.

Queen Chrysalis’s face swam into view, her eyes alight with triumph. She held Celestia’s severed head aloft, turning to address the crowd. “Behold!” she cried, her voice ringing out. “The end of an era! The dawn of a new age under my rule!”

Celestia’s consciousness flickered, the last vestiges of thought slipping away. Her final moments were a cacophony of sensations—a mix of pain, sorrow, and a strange, detached peace. As darkness closed in, her last thought was of her sister, of Luna’s tear-streaked face, and a silent hope that Equestria would, indeed, endure.

Chrysalis’s voice was the last thing she heard, echoing in her fading mind like a cruel, mocking refrain. “The mighty Celestia has fallen. Long live the Queen!”

>>41097450
>cbtwi pic
I already know this is going to be an abhorrent post.

>>41097450
>cbtwi pic
>AI writing
Quality post

>>41097450
>>41097452
AIfags should be purged

>>41097453
"Of Love and Loss" has a better Celestia death scene and its author can't even use commas.

>>41097482
It's GPT writing, any random fic will be better.

>>41097349
Same
>>41097359
Worse, Equestria at War.

>>41097664
I always wanted to ask, but where is that image from? Reverse image search didn't give back anything useful.

>>41097714
Chapter 84 of Chainsawman. When he's sent to Hell.

>>41097143
Lmao.
>>41097664
I’m Imagining a fic of anon in 2030 encountering a snow pony after getting lost from his battalion fighting China on the Siberian front.
>>41097772
Imagining a fic there some pony finds a magical snow globe with an exact copy of equestria in it.
>>41097801
Imagining pic related

>>41097801
Finally a genre /fimfic/ might like!

Cumulatively, I think it's taken me three hours to figure out how to make my file explorer open files in a new Emacs tab ("buffer") rather than window ("frame"). This isn't entirely Emacs' fault. It's also to blame on my lack of understanding of standard Linux syntax and not really knowing how my desktop environment works. That said, it doesn't help that Emacs provides so many relevant-but-wrong options. It gives you many false paths that you can travel very far down. At least I learned what a daemon is.

Anonfily, I see your wisdom >>41060745

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/55<wbr>7539/too-important-to-let-die<br>"i have no mouth but i must sonic rainbow". The concept could make for an interesting sci-fi story but characters are nonexistent here, Rainbow Dash and Twilight don't feel like real ponies, the dialog is shallow, the villain is amazingly generic. I don't have much more to say. It's surprising that it's been received with zero criticism in the comments. I respect the effort though.

>>41097145
I enjoy Anon when he’s written as an actual character and not as
>faceless audience surrogate
But those types of stories are very rare and he’s almost always used as a plot device or bland self-insert instead. An example of Anon as an actual character would be in Obsession, one of the most popular greens on here (though not the most well-written). Hate or love him, he’s an actual character with his own definition besides being a faceless reader stand in.
Most fics on fimfic are shit, complaining about shitty anon stories on it as well just comes off as silly. Other than HK-47’s story I haven’t seen any AiE on fimfiction worth reading. They’re all exceedingly low quality. But that’s just most of fimfiction.
AiE is popular on because most people don’t want a good story, they want to pretend they’re in Equestria doing whatever Anon does in the story. Most people on fimfic are also retards with absolutely abysmal standards, so it checks out.

>>41097595
>Worse, Equestria at War.
What is the fic about?

>>41098115
I may as well just link it since you asked.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/54<wbr>5827/the-princess-of-night-in-the-c<wbr>ity-of-light
It's the second story in I guess a series, though it's sorta intertwined with the first story and together both will lead into a final one that I'm trying to hash away at.

>>41098131
NTA but I might as well ask now since you already answered my other question: Does Maledict require knowing EaW?

>>41098148
It would certainly help. I won't say you need to know everything about the mod, Filly read it without knowing anything about EaW and found it heavily flawed but not without its charms. Granted most of its flaws are because of my knowledge of EaW so I glossed over stuff that could have made it more appealing to a wider audience.

>>41098156
Right, I kept on waiting to see what you're going to write next because I think it's generally really nice when we can shill active thread stuff for the bookclubs. But if it's more sequels to that first fic, then waiting longer doesn't make much sense.
I'm assuming that you're feeling better about this sequel side-story; could it be read as a standalone (once it's fully out)? Descriptions sort of imply that.

>>41098178
Yeah, it can be read standalone from Maledict, though the final chapter has stuff closely related to Maledict as their plot threads intertwine back together.

God I want to write a fic so bad. How the fuck do fic writers do it?

>>41098337
I use the 20/20/20 method.
20 minutes of writing
20 seconds to rest my eyes
20 weeks of writer's block.

>>41097452
>Chrysalis thrust a pike through Celestia's severed head and mounted it above the city gates, where everyone leaving or entering would see her triumph. At midnight, during the guard change, Anon scaled the gates and removed the pike. By the time the guards realized it was gone, so was he.
>When Anon was out of sight of the gates, he removed the head and discarded the pike. He ran deep into the city, carrying the swinging head by its mane. He reached an obscure side street, turned into a dark, narrow alley, and hid behind a heap of stinking trash.
>Celestia's lifeless jaw was stiff, but with a muffled grunt, he pried it open. Then he dropped his trousers. Her throat was tight, thick with tendons and ligaments that offered little room for Anon's diamond-hard member. But he shoved, widening her maw and stretching her reluctant throat, until Celestia's molars touched his balls.
>The moment he came, there was a burst of light, and the head glowed red-hot. Anon yanked the burning head off as quickly as he could. It floated in the air, illuminating the dirty, graffiti-covered alley like a torch, growing brighter until it was like daylight, until Anon had to squeeze his eyes shut, until the light hurt even through his closed eyes. Magic began coursing through Anon, and the power pulled him off his feet and toward the glow. His eyes stopped hurting, and when he opened them, he saw a glowing alicorn in the center of a rainbow. He and six ponies surrounded her. There was a shout of harmonious voices in an ear-splitting chord, and a great burst of power exploded through Canterlot, annihilating Chrysalis and the changelings.
>The magic subsided. Anon was again in the dark alley, which, however, had somehow been transformed into a pleasant forest nook with grass and flowers on the ground and trees growing up the walls. He and the Elements of Harmony stood in a circle. In the center was Princess Celestia, alive again.
>"What the hell was that?" asked Anon.
>"You revived me," said Celestia, "and together we defeated Chrysalis and the changelings."
>"How the fuck did that happen?"
>"You're the missing seventh Element of Harmony," said Celestia. "The Element of >rape."
>Applejack said, "How in the hay is that an Element?"
>"Because we're all a little fucked up inside," said Celestia. "So when Anon raped me—"
>"WHAT?" shouted the ponies.
>"When Anon raped me. That's what triggered this. He's the Element of >rape, but he's never known how to activate his hidden power. But raping my severed head is so fucked up that his semen activated his power unconsciously. It summoned the rest of the Elements, and together you resurrected me and destroyed the changelings. And now that all seven Elements are back together," she said, tossing her mane with glee, "they'll finally stop me from jobbing!"
>Rainbow Dash said, "So if he's another Element, what does that mean for us?"
>"Simple. It means that now, you have to be his friends!"

>>41096069
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/87<wbr>827/love-sugar-and-sails
You'll have to read the warfic first, though.

>would of been
Christ in a Chrysler, why do so many """people""" make this mistake?

>>41099057
Because they pronounce it that way, because they have never been actually taught English in school, but something retarded instead like what was that bullshit being taught instead of sounding out the letters - and because English itself is retarded and pronounces acronyms and shorthands as words in themselves rather than as the relevant part(s) of the original.

And for said """people""", if they want to improve: "would've" is shorthand for "would have" and pronounced "wudveh".

>>41099059
You can't just ask somepony why they're French.

>>41099059
That's clearly the flag of Sholland.
>>41099066
95% of my English knowledge came from immersing myself in it (read: binging English media and shitposting). EFLs have no excuse.

>>41099074
>95% of my English knowledge came from immersing myself in it
Same. Any formal rules that I may know are stuff that's been linked or discussed itt; everything else, from vocabulary to spelling and punctuation, comes from carefully reading and engaging with other media. EFLs could do the same if they only wanted to.

>>41099087
>>41099074
>immersing in English
>then you immerse yourself in the "would ofs" and fail
Also, recalled another reason for "would of" - retards not understanding that spoken "woulda" is, in fact, a "woulda" and not anything else.

>>41097843
Post screenshot of your setup.

>>41097919
Shame, I've been thinking of reading it because of the interesting premise and very positive score, but that sounds kinda lame.
I'm surprised though, the guy usually writes good stuff.

>>41098148
I think reading the sequel after the first part is a bit more impactful because you get to see the other side of the story, but it can stand on its own legs.

In school I was taught "would've", but when I saw stuff written by EFLs I assumed "would of" was another correct thing to say.

>>41099248
This is exactly why it's bad to learn English from everyday EFL speech. Instead, read stuff that had effort put into it, like "classics" of literature or most of the published books.

>>41099296
Probably. But 16 year old me didn't care about the classics. I wanted ponies, god damn it.
Actually, that much hasn't changed

>>41099319
"Background Pony" isn't that far from the classics quality-wise.

>>41099325
Don't care. Maybe back in the day I would have read it, but I've heard too many bad things. And I no longer need to learn English anyway.

>>41099328
Not him, but that's your loss. I hate the ending with a passion, and it's still one of my all-time favorites. Though, as a rule, I wouldn't recommend learning English from fics.
Also, a lot of the classics are enjoyable reads. Plus, it's nice to know what people are referencing all the time.

>>41099331
>wouldn't recommend learning English through fics
Me neither, but what's done is done. In the same vein, I can't recommend being an ESL either.

>enjoyable reads
>not pony
But also, I've had to read classics in my native language, and they were all dog shit.

>>41099090
I think at this point, "would of" counts as a bizarre English idiom used only in informal contexts. Sort of like how you hear "try and" or "try an'" in speech all the time and you see it pretty frequently in print. Logically, it ought to be "try to" every time, but that's just not what people say.

>>41099340
>I can't recommend being an ESL either.
On the contrary, I would. Most of everything worth knowing is in English so, with just a little bit of effort and a lot of time, you can passively learn the language as well as the EFLs. Better, in fact, since you aren't poisoned by all the errors made by EFLs in daily, informal speech.
>and they were all dog shit.
I'd say this is what they call a "skill issue". Many of the compulsory reading books we read in my school weren't in line with my personal preferences, either, but that's precisely what made them interesting. It's neat to read something outside of your regular circle of interest. Broadening the scope, so to speak. There was only one book I hated, and that had less to do with the book itself, and more to do with how its very pronounced ideological message (that I disagreed with) was drilled into all students for a month.

>>41099395
>effort and a lot of time
My native language is also full of retard-traps due to informal, and I've never fallen for them. Had I been an EFL <s>desu it's my fourth language so I am technically an EFL</s>, I wouldn't have fallen for them as well.
I'm just annoyed that I've put in well over a decade and 500k words into getting good, and I still end up with ESL-like sentence structure once in a while.
>neat to read something outside your circle of interest
Hard disagree. I don't mind trying out slightly different things, but the garbage we read in lit class was so mind-boggingly boring that I wanted to kms while reading it. Orders of magnitude more boring than GTG.

>>41099404"Kamienie na Szaniec" (Stones for the Rampart). Like a lot of Polish literature, it's very patriotic. I'm not much of a patriot myself, but I can appreciate the sentiment; it's always nice to see people clinging to their ideals instead of joining this mind-numbing cynical apathy that's all too common these days. That's not what I disliked. For context, it was written during the German occupation of Poland during WW2, and it tells the story of three Polish students who were a part of the underground resistance.
The tl;dr is that it glorifies martyrdom for the cause in a situation when you know for sure it won't change anything. All three protagonists die as a result of mildly inconveniencing the Nazis (sometimes stupidly, like defacing a German monument with graffiti), and the narrative goes so far as to include religious analogies to praise their deeds. And again, I enjoy reading about different viewpoints. But I did not enjoy having to discuss and write essays praising them for several weeks.

>>41099412
>I've put in well over a decade and 500k words into getting good, and I still end up with ESL-like sentence structure once in a while.
Yeah, that's the eternal struggle of all ESLs. At least reading more makes it better. Hopefully. Eventually.

>>41098337
Fingers on keyboard and allow the autism to run through your veins. I usually get my ideas listening to music in the car. I keep a small notepad on my phone to jot stuff down.

>>41099057
>would have bean
Hungry orphan

>>41099325
FAG!
Thanks, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to say that today.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>58006/hypothetically
If you hate the Lyrabon ship or can't tolerate Princess Twilight even for the sake of a shortfic, there is not much for you to see here. But if you can make peace with these conditions, this is a really enjoyable entry. The dialogue feels natural, there is no meta crap, and the drama is grounded. It's short and to the point, and the outcome is as predictable as it gets, but I don't think it took away from the story.

>>41099866
Oh wow, it starts with a mention of S9's stoned villains and direct eqg references. That's a full combo.

>>41099870
It's a shame, sure. It'd work just as well if not better, if Lyra talked with Cellie at the end of S2 or so, but the dialogue itself still works well imo.

>>41099883
It's fine. Definitely above the competition's average, but I couldn't get myself to updoot it. Also, people who add completely unrelated mentions of eqg to their fics for no good reasons should be stoned in public.
So far, the two that actually struck me as good and earned their like from me are: The First in a Decade (but it really should've been rated T instead of an E), and Tailso's non-entry.

>>41099905
>The First in a Decade
Occasionally veers pretty meta, but I guess it's fine when it's Discord doing it.
>Tailso's
Yeah, that one was nice.

>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/55<wbr>7250/the-king-and-the-great-and-pow<wbr>erful
It's one of those stories I found both quite entertaining and off-putting and it's not even because it's post-S9 (though, really, it could be set almost anytime after Glimmer is redeemed).
In this story we're treated to Sombra's alternative universe where he had won. Cellie is imprisoned, Luna is dead, and Sombra himself is deathly bored. So far so good. One day Trixie appears and her bravado completely wows the king, who had grown extremely exasperated by the sycophant culture he himself cultivated. The rest of the story is a precarious dance of one trying to assert dominance over the other. In terms of the fundamental plot, I liked it a lot! Trixie is Trixie and both her toeing the line so that she's both excitingly shameless, yet not too irritating and her plot to defeat Sombra by his own shortcomings are really enjoyable. There's also some nice lines in the fic and I liked the resolution (except for two things).
What's less enjoyable is how non-pony the fic feels. It's one thing that ponies are executed left and right, but I think I finally understand what people meant during the 'GTG' club, because the fic almost immediately presents us with the mental image of Sombra's mind-controlled ponies wetting themselves and worse, because "he cannot control bodily functions with magic". Gross, but if it was the only questionable part, I could've stepped over it with a note. But this fic is also ridiculously horny despite its plot and rating. Sombra's harem and the fact that he's having sex with them is mentioned a lot, he keeps touching Trixie's thigh, attention is given to Trixie crossing her hind legs. Obviously this is all partly done to depict Sombra as a pony who "has his way" with others, but while there's nothing outright M-rated I almost felt like I'm reading a hastily-ponified and censored anthro clopfic instead of a story at times.
The sexuality aside, I'm also very much not a fan of how a certain plot thread was handled. <s>Sombra's phylactery is mentioned several times in the story, along with how he's really cautious and wearing a fake one, so nobody can take him by surprise... Well, by the end of the fic, Starlight off-screen finds and destroys it.. and that's that.</s> I understand it wasn't the main point, but after such buildup, it was a disappointing conclusion, that takes away from the impact of Trixie's elaborate scheme. <s>I'm also not a fan of her being the "main timeline" Trixie and the whole excursion being a "fun afternoon" / date thing she does weekly with Starlight. It's foreshadowed, in a pretty clever way even, but I still felt like it retroactively took away from the stakes.</s>
Overall: 5/10 Completely on the fence with this one. Loved most of the concept, hated most of the execution. Except for Trixie, she somehow makes everything better. I guess she is just that Great and Powerful.

>>41099412
>the garbage we read in lit class was so mind-boggingly boring that I wanted to kms while reading it
Its nice to know lit class sucks outside of the US too. Between Ethan Frome and The Red Badge of Courage it was like they were trying to kill any interest in American literature. At least we got to read Tom Sawyer instead of Catcher in the Fucking Rye.

>>41100388
I remember reading a bunch of short stories throughout middle school and high school. O. Henry is just really good shit but I fucking hated The Great Gatsby so much primarily because Nick is just there. Take him out of the story and fucking nothing changes.

>>41100388
>Catcher in the Rye
Fuck you, I actually liked that one

>>41100396
The short stories we read tended to be pretty good. I remember really liking Flowers for Algernon and another whose name I forget about a fully automated house that was still running decades after its owners had died. I also liked most of the novels we read in middle school. It was just once we got to high school and started on "classic" American novels I wanted to die. I got more appreciation for American literature out of my history classes reading Huck Finn and The Jungle.
<s>Except the ending were Sinclair dropped all pretenses and just started going off about how Communism is the one true inevitable solution.</s>

>>41100437
I read Call of the Wild and White Fang in middle school and enjoyed him. For a commie Jack London really didn't push his ideology into his works. To Build a Fire is just a fantastic short story.

>>41100437
>a fully automated house that was still running decades after its owners had died
Hey, I read that one in high school. Good story.

>>41100388
My chadmoded assignmentpilled philosophymaxxer teacher in high school assigned us 1984. Despite all the memes, that book is goated.

>>41100434
Erm… this thread is for conforming to my opinions, sweaty ;)
Catcher in the diarrhea ASS! What a shit load of fuck!

>>41100469
>Call of the Wild
>To Build a Fire
I never noticed those were written by the same guy. I always just thought the Yukon gold rush just produced a bunch of kino stories after reading the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck in a barnes and noble.

>>41100388
Maybe it's the fact that I like reading or stories in general, but literature class was one of my favorite things in school (and I liked most classes). The majority of what we read wasn't bad (else it wouldn't have been picked by people way more qualified to do this, right?), and there's really no book bad enough to not be enjoyable when you get to talk about it and discuss it. We read some foreign stuff, too, including books you see people regularly reading even now, like The Hobbit and Crime and Punishment.
A friend of mine had attended a high school where the last book they read was The Sorrows of Young Werther, which I found pretty funny. It's probably one of the last things I'd recommend to stressed-out students.

>>41101163
>literature class was one of my favorite things in school
That was my experience too. I've had two separate literature teachers, one who really hated students having an opinion about stories and one who really encouraged it. Safe to say I liked the latter's classes a lot more. I suppose it's what beat into my head the seeking of literary devices, but I guess that's still better than blindly trying to describe common tropes and methods of writing.
>We read some foreign stuff
The weird thing is, I enjoyed the prose of local (non-translated) literature a lot more than anything else I've read, but in terms of plots foreign stuff generally always blew our stuff out of the water. Except for poetry, but I feel that a pretty different category.
And it's a shame, because mandatory reading turned from something that should introduce you to awesome stories to "generational trauma" where parents will joke with their kids about how horrible 'The Golden Flower Pot' or 'The Sons of the Stone Hearted Man' were, which are both famously dry and mood-destroying old novels.
At least from what I've heard the curriculum is slowly changing to introduce more modern books too. Maybe the next generation will get to enjoy mandatory books once more.
>like The Hobbit
I wish we read that in school. Obviously I've read it in my free time, but I think it could have had given some extra appreciation to people who might not think about picking up Tolkien after seeing the movies.
>The Sorrows of Young Werther
Ah, we actually did learn about that one, though I believe we did not read it. We did read a bunch of Russian realism though, Gogol, Tolstoy, and the like. They're all horribly dark, but they were some of my favourite stories. There's something so magical about the mundane being presented as something interesting.

>>41101171
>The weird thing is, I enjoyed the prose of local (non-translated) literature a lot more than anything else
I don't think it's weird. As for of my favorite games said, "Every translator is a traitor." You're basically writing fanfiction based on the original work, kind of like your adaptation of Witless/Witness. You can convey the plot, but you cannot faithfully convey the style, the individual flair, and the atmosphere of the original work. That's why I also tend to hate the more literal translations (EN translations of Japanese media almost always did it until 2010s).
For example, I didn't like The Old Man and the Sea much when we read it in school, and I found myself entirely captivated by it when I reread it last year, this time in English.

>I've had two separate literature teachers, one who really hated students having an opinion about stories and one who really encouraged it.
My high school literature teacher was the best teacher I've ever had. On the first day he straight-up asked us -- a Science-Biology-Math class profile -- if any of us even consider going to a college which would look at the results of our Literature finals. Predictably, no one raised their hand (it was a pretty prestigious high school, and 90% of my classmates were the children of stuck-up doctors who already had their future medical career decided for them), so the teacher explained that instead of going with the actual curriculum, we'll do what he thinks we should be learning about instead. We still covered everything relevant from the basics and in the end got way better than average results because he got all of us to pay attention in the class, but we spent a lot of hours discussing books and just talking about literature-related topics, even if they weren't strictly in the curriculum. He was not the only passionate teacher than I've met, but no one else was quite as eager to actually educate his students as he was. His classes rekindled my love for literature and are probably one of the main reasons I ended up writing fics some years later.
Mind you, half the students hated him for not focusing 100% on preparing us for the (pointless) finals because that's what their stupidly ambitious parents told them to do. He also wanted us to actually read the mandatory reading, often preparing tests which asked to elaborate about some tiny details -- the point was not to answer correctly, but to demonstrate that you've read the book instead of skimming a detailed summary. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

>>41101163
Lucky. My lit class was in French, and we only ever French garbage. Not only is French an awful, awful language, but the vast majority of its authors are incapable of writing anything anything remotely interesting.
Except Camus, I guess. The Stranger was decently nice book.

>>41101209
Of the french stuff we read in school, I also quite liked The Miser by Moliere.
>The Stranger
I should really get around to reading it. Instead of that, we read Camus's The Stranger.

>>41101210
>Instead of The Stranger we read The Stranger
Am I having a stroke, or are you?

I also read the Miser, but what was in middle school, so I'll fully admit I was too retarded to care.

>>41101208
>but you cannot faithfully convey the style, the individual flair, and the atmosphere of the original work
Yes you can, but it requires being exceptionally competent.
>My high school literature teacher was the best teacher I've ever had.
Cutie mark in teaching literature.
>>41101171
>Russian realism
Horrible drudgery. Only the people completely detached from reality, and abusers who want to destroy curiosity and activity, force that on children. Literally the best way to destroy the pupils' interest in reading.

>>41101212
I think what happened was that I looked up the translation of the title and then forgot to type it. I meant The Plague.

>>41101208
>You're basically writing fanfiction based on the original work
I think I've mentioned this anecdote before, but because LotR was so big, it received a lot of translations, most of them famously shit, translating elves to "fairies" and dwarves to "gnomes". So the man who would end up being the first PM after the Soviet-system fell redid the translation from the ground up and to date it's often mentioned as a really high-quality translation. I was so immersed personally that I've read through the entirely trilogy in less than a week.
On the other hand, I've experienced it first hand how different it is to write in different languages. Out of curiosity I rewrote my balloon story in Hungarian a little after it won in the competition and while it's 90% the same, the 10% difference in nuance of words chosen really makes a difference. It was a pretty enlightening experience.
>My high school literature teacher was the best teacher I've ever had
Damn, I'm genuinely jealous, that sounds cools as fuck.
>90% of my classmates were the children of stuck-up doctors who already had their future medical career decided for them
Hah, I feel like our classes were similar. Though I've never had any issues with the people, they were good kids, I just never had much in common with most of them.

>>41101213
>Horrible drudgery
I disagree. I think after all the fantasy, supernatural, and set in the long past stories, it was a really interesting and fresh change of pace to see characters who could be living in this very moment.

>>41101223
It's not about the characters, it's about the writing style. It's written by and for semi-aristocratic adults having nothing to do, and as such is horribly ponderous.
>most of them famously shit, translating elves to "fairies" and dwarves to "gnomes".
Reminds me of illustrations to The Hobbit which gave the elves fairy wings.
Also, fun fact about Russian translations of LotR: the best style-flair-atmosphere one (a.k.a. the only one that actually understood that characters very much have intentionally chosen voices) is the one with absolutely fucked up names of characters and things.

Does anyone feel like there are certain stories with really weird or 'unnecessary' premises? From what i've heard of Days of Wasp and Spider the story is very good and beloved, but the concept to me sounds really dumb and it makes you go 'huh? why did you think of that? why did you want to explore that with your writing?' Like the writer is just making shit up and it's weird, quality aside.

>>41101250
Yes. They sit on my hard drive, unpublished.

>>41101250
>Does anyone feel like there are certain stories with really weird or 'unnecessary' premises?
Yes, I've only written stories like that

>>41101250
Yes. I've written one story like that.

>>41101250
It's great when fics have some strong connection to cannon, explaining or elaborating upon some part of the show, but there are also many stories of the variety you're talking about, and I wouldn't say they're bad because of it; weird (done well) is fun! And it lets the author get creative.

ITT /fimfic/ circle jerks about literature they’ve probably never read.

>>41101439
If you're talking the bootleg-/lit/ discussion above, it can't be a circlejerk when the posters are split roughly in half regarding it.
Also, I think everyone read the stories they were talking about; saying you liked or didn't like a story doesn't make sense if you never read it. At the very least I can say I read all of the titles I mentioned.

>>41101445
Then how can this thread claim to dislike HiE?

Do you ever write something that feels like it's been done a million times, and yet you can't think of a single instance?

>>41094943
>>41101532
Unsurprising that HiEposters would run out of material before the thread even cycles.
>SSYP

>>41101532
You're joking, but I sincerely doubt anons would hate AiE/HiE the way they do if they didn't read at least a couple fics in the genre.

When looking for a line to steal to tease a friend with, I opened HPMOR today and ended up in the section where Harry sits and thinks in a room for several chapters. He is interrupted by several visits, such as from the Defence Professor. The ___ flashbacks were hard to stop.

>>41101568
Why stop them? Sit down, kick back and pick up a chapter. You didn't need those hours, anyway.

>>41101587
Ever since I picked up vaping, I find myself getting more of it done. Guess you can't make it into writing without being dependent on one substance or another.

>>41101595
I'm currently ignoring work to read HPMOR.

>>41101609
That's an inappropriate use of company time. You should be ignoring work to post Lunas. Or to read ___. Ideally both.

>>41101616
I'm very good at my job and very committed to it. I am a hero. They respect and fear me. Such distractions, though earned, are out of character.

>>41101622
What a shame. I'm glad my coworkers are also pony fans.

>>41101587
About as well as it can. I'm going to post another fic kind of soon. I hope I won't run out of steam as soon as I pick up my longer story. Again.

>>41101628
>hope I won't run out of steam
try getting lung cancer with >>41101608

>>41101631
I'm a square but maybe I would make an exception if it really was this magical self-motivation trick. Gods know I could use something like that.

I got a big spike in viewership on one of my stories. Apparently more people read it in some capacity than when I puplished it. I'm a bit baffled how it can be.

>>41101753
Any new sites in the referrals section of the stats page?

>>41101824
Nothing new I can recognize. It had a chapter update recently, but it was the Nth one, and so far none of them drew in any significant attention. It's not even that important, just weird to have such a spike in views

>review https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25<wbr>219/the-night-that-never-ended
The Night That Never Ended is a 145k Dark AU Adventure fic. Twi does an oopsie while experimenting with a teleportation spell and transports herself alongside Dash into a world where the EoH never fully manifested, letting NMM win.

The writing's ok, imo, but there are an absolute mountain of technical errors. Characters having hands, missing spaces, non-capitalized names, filly/colt in place of mare/stallion. Some are super glaring and can break your focus. Despite that I had a pretty clear image in mind for this Equestria the whole time, so it's not an impossible read.
I can't say that I hated this, but I finished it not feeling all too much, either. Twilight was a little frustrating. The only reason they're in this situation is because she just so happened to not tell Dash (who was already super hesitant to help her) that all the ponies who experimented with this spell have outright never been found afterward. This also makes the ending even worse, but I'm jumping ahead.

My main grief, I think, is Rarity. In this world, Ponyville was burned down by NMM's Shadowbolts since they refused to give up the girls. The bulk of the town escaped into a mountain cave and Rarity has been leading them as mayor. On some level I can see what the author was going for. She desperately wants ponies to feel good while living in a world of misery so she's constantly throwing feasts and using their supplies flippantly. Well-intentioned but ultimately negligent generosity, okay. The thing is she's also just fucking dumb. She doesn't read any of the reports sent to her desk, she constantly shut down Twi bringing up her mismanagement of things, and she seemed to just bask in the adoration the ponies gave her as mayor. She comes to her senses down the line but early on it really felt like she was just up her own ass to the point it left a sour taste in my mouth. Fluttershy also just has a totally nonsensical spiel in ch20.

As alluded to, the ending is not great. It tries to end on a hopeful note but it's too abrupt, as well as not actually being that hopeful. Luna is free of NMM but she won't rule, the sun is gone entirely, Celestia AND Applejack are dead. There's also a thing with Trixie; it's revealed that she knew how to do/used the teleportation spell Twi had used at the beginning of the story. That just... goes nowhere because during the final confrontation Trixie lets the Nightmare in and subsequently gets banished to the moon. It just sucks, because it's played as hopeful when it's really not.

There are parts of the story I liked, though. Big Mac was cool, I enjoyed NMM and Trixie's relationship (conniving henchmen are fun), and the NewPville fight was alright. I think the story needed to show more of the world to make the ending work. Still not great, but at least knowing that not everywhere is as bad as Pville would've done a lot. Oh yeah, rest in pancake'd Spike, kek.

>>41085110
>10/10 Spikeabuse.
The funniest thing is in Ch20 where Flutters asks Twi where Spike's been and she just fucking ignores her question entirely. I choose to believe FS doesn't even know he's dead by the end of the fic.

Are there any fics with Cadance and the Crystal Empire that don't have Chrysalis, Shining, or A Canterlot Wedding?

>>41102475
Funny how much closer to the answer Twiguard 1 is. Also, if you add Twilight, Good Night to TwiGuard, it completes the missing requirements, because that's how math works.

>>41101209
I enjoyed Moliere's Tartuffe. Voltaire's Candide may be the world's greatest crackfic.

>over 95% of all classical literature estimated to have existed has been lost to time
>over 90% of all black and white films have been lost
>similar proportions of the internet will probably be eventually lost as well.
>mlp fandom content is probably significantly more likely to survive the tests of time due to archiving efforts from autistic misanthropes
Fics for this feel?

>>41102616
Not him but I'd disagree on Candide. I am generally both critical of satires as a genre, but Candide especially got most of its fame from being the first and/or loudest to criticize the idea of optimism. He simply picked the right moment to write it and sailed to the top of the Enlightenment world's equivalent of the sinbox, but the book has no finesse and, like most satires, doesn't come up with any new ideas or anything interesting. It's just an elaborate way of saying, "Leibniz sucks because things are bad :(", which appealed to just the right amount of people at the time and happened to be a statement that made him popular. This is basically 18th-century wojak edits with nicer images.

>>41102704
That was my opinion the first time I read Candide, but somehow I was inspired to revisit it earlier this year, and I liked it much better. While I do agree that some of its popularity comes from being written at the right moment, I think part of its success stems from how Voltaire maintains a balance between ferocity and levity and hope. It is relentless in how it attacks the evil things people do to each other. It doesn't just say, "Things are bad," it says, "You think things are bad? No, they're worse. You think that's as bad as it gets? No, they're worse again. You think we've reached rock bottom? No, we're not even close." But the book isn't just dismal and sour. Voltaire doesn't just expose all the horrible things that people do to each other, he mocks them. And because we've all done some of these things, he makes all of us, including me and you, look like fools. If the book only did those two things, it might be good, but it would be dispiriting and not great. But Voltaire in addition points out that it does not have to be this way. Jacques the Anabaptist is a good person; El Dorado is a paradise; the Turk lives a pleasant life; and we can have such happiness as is available on Earth if we simply "cultivate our garden." The delicate balance maintained in the book is what I think raises Candide to another level.

BBL Drizzy

>>41085338
I need urgent feedback

Short description
>Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Melody go on a summer tour, each their own separate way. However, they are unaware of the dangers awaiting them. This might be the last tour of their lives...
This I have no problem with, it's vague and intriguing enough for readers (or so I was told by an Anon some threads ago)

Long description
>pic related
Is there anything you would change to make it look better/more interesting/less boring? And what/why?

Anonymous

>>41102948
The short description works well enough, but the long one could use some polishing. I think you could make it more succinct to pack a bigger punch.
>For Octavia, X. For Vinyl, Y.
>They have everything...
Have a clearer contrast between what both parties want/expect, and keep that last line as is to present the subversion.

>>41102948
It's not clear to me what the story is actually about. Like, I could imagine this description as the setup of an adventure story where they accidentally get stranded in the wilderness and need to survive. Or I could imagine that it sets up a drama. One of their careers succeeds, and the other fails, and the story is about jealousy.

I could also imagine it as a romance, but I don't know what kind. Is one romancing the other while the other pursues a third pony? Or do they both fall in love with other ponies and the story is about how their friendship suffers? Since this is fanfic, it's probably Octascratch shipping; but where does their relationship start? Does this open before they know each other? When they've just met? When they're living with each other but before they've developed feelings? Or do they already have a romantic relationship?

And, what happens? I know you don't want to spoil the plot, but it's really hard to know if I'm going to like the story if I have zero idea of what's going to happen. A couple clues (nothing too specific, just little hints) would help.

>>41102953
I reworded it up, it does make a difference! Let me know what you think

also I'll stop namefagging
>>41102967
>It's not clear to me what the story is actually about
The inciting incident is that Octavia and Vinyl go on tour in their own separate ways, for their own separate goals. Vinyl doesn't want to be a stuck-up DJ in Ponyville, and Octavia doesn't want to lose the opportunity of making it into the greatest opera play ever. I've more or less updated the description, but I'm struggling to capture Vinyl's feelings!
>Or I could imagine that it sets up a drama
More or less, here are the tags that I'm expected to work with (may remove/add some in the future as the story develops). Ultimately I wanna tell a story about the pursuit of success, and my goal is to write a story that explores several themes built around this concept. The good, the bad, the rewards, the consequences.
>but where does their relationship start?
Their relationships starts the way we saw it in Slice of Life: they're both roomies/friends who compliment each other. The very first chapter (the prologue, you could say) is a cute scene featuring Derpy delivering mail, Octavia obsessing over an application letter, and Vinyl just chilling reading an ad about Las Pegasus. Also, <s>Vinyl is primarily mute in this story</s>. I'll share the chapter as soon as I get to writing it
>And, what happens?
...both Vinyl and Octavia get lost in their respective tour places, and start to learn the harsh untold truths about the world of music. They'll both be exposed to things that cause musicians to go mad (hence the Drugs, Violence, and Suicide tags)

>>41100195
>the whole excursion being a "fun afternoon" / date thing she does weekly with Starlight
I swear there was another fic that did this "timeline hopping" plot, only the AU got wind of it and got pissed off that they were being flippantly used by another timeline.

>>41101250
Duel Nature will forever piss me off because the author created such a retarded setup for "Twilight and Luna go on an adventure."

>>41101587
It's at a standstill while I'm on vacation.

>>41102948
I'd say there needs to be some more plot info in the third paragraph. I get the brevity as a hook, but what am I actually being baited with?

>>41103026
>tell a story about the pursuit of success
I'm wondering how the mystery tag fits with this. Mysteries pose a driving question the reader is trying to answer (who killed the character? Why are ponies disappearing? What's that noise Fluttershy keeps hearing in the Everfree? etc.), with the author dropping hints and red herrings along the way until the final revelation at the climax. I'm struggling to come up with the question for a story centered on pursuing success and, I'd assume, sacrificing some morals or personal integrity along the way to achieve it. Strikes me much more as a tragedy than a mystery.

>>41103193
Your mother should've tried and aborted you more than once.

>>41103195
Ah fuck, I've been awake for nearly 24 hours and meant to write descriptivists. Sorry.

>>41103193
>>41103363
I was really surprised to see you of all anons side with the descriptivists. My native language is highly prescriptive, and, comparing it with the mess that is modern English, it's very hard not to notice why language rules are not just useful, but outright necessary for the long-term health of the language. The true paradox of descriptivism is that it eventually leads to the language becoming more limiting regarding what you can and cannot clearly communicate.

>>41103386
>My native language is highly prescriptive
This is why people shouldn't be using terms they don't understand. Language is not prescriptivist or descriptivist; people are.
The entire "prescriptivist vs descriptivist" debate assumes that the two extreme positions, of absolute adherence to sometimes arbitrary rules vs uncritical acceptance of linguistic destructuring, are the only positions to be held. The reality is that most people grant some leeway in the use of a language while expecting some greater or lesser adherence to the grammatical rules of that language. Descriptivists and prescriptivists are extremists who can't accept the possibility of difference from their own position.

>>41103410
>Language is not prescriptivist or descriptivist; people are.
This is arguing semantics. When you have an official state-appointed authority declaring what is and is not valid, and everyone is assumed to follow those rules, then yes, you can say that the language as a whole is prescriptivist. If you deviate from the accepted forms, people will recognize it as an error. There is indeed some leeway as you won't be criticized for those mistakes in colloquial speech, but they're never considered correct, merely "acceptable" in some informal contexts.
>The entire "prescriptivist vs descriptivist" debate assumes that the two extreme positions (...) are the only positions to be held
No, it assumes that there is a direction to be followed. Prescriptivists defend the structure and rules of the language to preserve order and meaning, and descriptivists argue that something being widely used must mean it's correct. No one would argue for "perfect" prescriptivism because, under that doctrine, language could never adapt to the changing times and languages demonstrably change. Instead, prescriptivism vs. descriptivism is all about how you approach this observed change.

>>41103410
>extremists who can't accept the possibility of difference from their own position
You mean /fimfic/?

>>41103427
>This is arguing semantics.
It isn't, though. Language can't have a will. The people who staff a language institute are the prescriptivists and they impose their requirements on speakers of the language; the language itself is merely a passive tool used within the bounds of the proscribed and described rules.
>>41103429
>You mean /fimfic/?
dohoho

Do I have to tag my fic with "self-harm" if the apparent suicide is in fact a homicide?

>>41103578
I'd say yes, for the theme being brought up and so it doesn't spoil the potential reveal.

>>41102948
>>41103026
Another anon here, and that second one is markedly better, imo. One thing that's interesting about it is that the abundance of exclamation marks makes the description sound excited, contrasting with the genre/warning tags. I'm assuming you did that intentionally -- to capture the heroines initial excitement before the story confronts them with the perils of music creation -- and if so, that's pretty good.

>>41102781
You know, that's all very reasonable. I was probably being too contrarian simply because it's known as one of the most influential books of its age, and I didn't find it all that great. I admit I read it in high school, and I might not have given it enough consideration before dismissing it as another shallow satire pointed at the current to-be-criticized thing.

>>41103026
I have some experience with the world of classical music.
>opera play
I hope this is an ESLism. In English, it's just "opera." Like, "Mozart's Don Giovanni is a great opera. Gounod's Faust is a terrible opera, but it has a few decent scenes. Serialist operas like Wozzeck aren't to my taste."
>finest instruments
While instruments make a difference, the musician makes a much bigger difference. A great musician will sound great on any instrument.

Also, in opera specifically, most public attention is directed to the singers and sometimes the conductor; members of the orchestra receive little attention except from professionals. This is much like how in movies, people talk about the actors and the director, not the foley artist. There are only a small number of exceptions to this, generally where the on-stage action draws attention to something orchestral (e.g., the fanfare in Fidelio and the long horn call in Siegfried are both diegetic).
>Octavia obsessing over an application letter
Application letters are irrelevant. A letter needs to be coherent enough to indicate that you want to audition, and that's it. You can audition and win a part and barely speak the local language.

There are two likely things Octavia might be auditioning for. One is a permanent position in an orchestra. An orchestra's third chair second cello retires or gets another position; now the orchestra has an opening; they hold auditions to fill the empty spot. Another is a position in a festival orchestra. These are temporary gigs, usually in the summer (so outside the usual concert season).
>Octavia on tour
Generally, classical musicians go on tour in two ways. One is if they are permanent members of an orchestra, and the whole orchestra goes on tour; in this case, the tour needs to be fit around the orchestra's usual program (otherwise the locals are unhappy) so such tours are either short (and the gaps in the concert schedule are filled by chamber groups or other visitors) or they happen outside of the usual concert season (i.e., the summer). The other is if they are professional soloists and their job is to be on tour. In this case, they get paid by the performance and they're on the road almost 100% of the time.
><s>Vinyl is primarily mute in this story</s>
I like her that way, too.
>the harsh untold truths about the world of music
In the world of classical music, the harshest truth is that there are more musicians than there are gigs. Lots of people love making classical music, but there are too many of them compared to the number of people who want to listen. A lot of musicians are poorly paid, and getting a position in a prominent orchestra is impossible unless you're spectacularly good. For a lot of professionals, teaching is not just a service to their community but also an important supplement to their income.

>>41103578
It technically contains the content so sure.

Never understood why that was a tag. It could have just been lumped in with violence and/or death. Never saw why narcotics or non-consensual were necessary either. It’s not like it would better ward off or protect kids who were probably already fucked going on fimfiction anyways.

>>41103941
It's for adults who don't want to be caught unaware of things like that.

>>41103952
So it’s for manchildren? Makes sense.

>>41103941
Narcotics is basically the same as an Anon tag. It lets you know that the author was never intending to publish a FiMfic.

>>41103111
>I'd say there needs to be some more plot info in the third paragraph
The way I see it, there's only so much I can write into the description before I start telling you the actual story. I would rather have readers get into this story and find out by themselves. A similar thing happened to me whilst reading the description for Scent of a Woman (1992). The Netflix description tells you about a boy who meets a blind war veteran, who wants to go out on a vacation, meet a gorgeous woman, and drive the latest new car. It doesn't tell you that <s>he wants to shoot himself after all of this is done for</s>
>I'm wondering how the mystery tag fits with this
As I said, I may end up removing/adding some tags as I continue writing the story. However, I do want to write several intriguing mysteries that happen around the characters, especially Vinyl.

>>41103630
>I'm assuming you did that intentionally
<s>:)</s>

>>41103752
>I hope this is an ESLism
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
>Mozart's Don Giovanni is a great opera
Unrelated, but he wrote Don Giovanni one day before premiering it. Actually, which one's correct? ''He wrote that play before it premiered?'', or ''He wrote that opera before it premiered?''.
>Also, in opera specifically, most public attention is directed to the singers and sometimes the conductor; members of the orchestra receive little attention except from professionals.
I am well aware, and this is something I wish to explore in the story.
>Application letters are irrelevant
I'll change it to a confirmation letter instead. ''After seeing your performance in our auditions, you have been selected, and are welcome to join us in our band/orchestra. Come to Canterlot ASAP'', you get the idea.
>Another is a position in a festival orchestra. These are temporary gigs, usually in the summer
Considering that my story takes place in the summer, this is very convenient.
>In the world of classical music, the harshest truth is that there are more musicians than there are gigs
This is something I haven't considered, but I more or less had in mind. Once again, I wanna write about it.

I will admit, I may have the incorrect terminology for what I'm trying to describe. What happens is that Octavia goes on tour with a band, they play various things, and bit by bit, things go from bad to worse. Conflict, obsession, violence, you name it.

>>41103941
Basically what Tuna said; they're warning tags. Violence and Death can be a part of (usually edgier) FiM fanfics without that much trouble or too excessive bending of the show's universe and its principles. Not so much for narcotics, non-con, and suicide, all of which are generally a red flag that the fic might suck. If not as a story, then at least as a fimfic. There are exceptions, of course, and you shouldn't dismiss those fics straight away, but that's why fimfic marks them as red warning tags.

>open /fimfic/
>anons authoritatively stating their shitty opinions as facts
I love it here

>>41104037
This.
I wish everyone could be like me and authoritatively state their objectively correct opinions as facts.

>>41104043
In these trying times, we need (You) more than ever before. Provided that your opinions align with mine, naturally.

>look at club fic
>doctor hooves
I'm gonna try, but the outlook is already grim. Let's hope Derpy can carry it

>>41104059
True, the only person Derpy should be banging is my obese self insert named after the (objectively) best comic strip character

>>41104059
I've started it twice and got to chapter 2 so far. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the fic, and it seems likely that it will be an enjoyable read. She probably won't even have to carry the weight of any major writing failures at all. My only problems are time and not really caring for the premise. And time.

>>41104067
>I've started it twice
>My only problems are time and not really caring for the premise. And time.
Doctor Hooves brainrot is already kicking in

>>41104165
Not accurate even if I appreciate the memeing.

>>41104162
The second club's fic this week, kind of.

For those of you who like picking up incomplete stories, <br>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/53<wbr>6589/a-song-of-silk-and-steel looks pretty promising.

>>41104289
One of many fics on the RIL where I check the completion status after each update. One of these days it'll be for the last time—whether it's actually marked complete afterwards, well...

>>41086464
Pinkie for how trusting and innocent she is. Seeing her realize what's happening and her trust shatter and give way to panic makes her a good target.

Rainbow Dash is another good one. Her confidence and athleticism would give her confidence to try to fight back without fear, but as she starts to lose, that confidence will break and she will doubt herself and by the time she realizes that she can't win, it'll be too late. A wing will be broken or she will get tied up or something. I think that she would be the most terrified out of all the M6, even more than Fluttershy. Even if she survives and escapes, she will never be the same. Her self image will shatter and she will be broken for the rest of her life.

>>41103963
This is why I wish there was a gay romance tag.

>>41104491
>tunafag has now wrapped around to being part of the "ponies are for faggots" camp
This is advanced horseshoe theory.

>>41104512
Well, Luna does have very nice horseshoes.
More importantly, enjoying lesbian shipping doesn't have a relationship with being gay (or lesbian). But it does have a relationship with enjoying FiMFictions.

Author of Grimbush published a new story for the sci fi contest. Pic unrelated.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/55<wbr>7422/memory-bank

>>41104551
No dislikes on a fic is almost always something that demands at least a second look (even if it got very few views). The description is fairly intriguing and it's short, so I'll give it a shot later tonight.

>>41103974
>Considering that my story takes place in the summer, this is very convenient.
You may want to Google "orchestra auditions" and read about how these work. Also, keep in mind that Octavia might also apply to advanced training programs for early career professional musicians, like https://www.lucernefestival.ch/en/l<wbr>ucerne-festival-academy
>Octavia goes on tour with a band
"Band" to me either suggests "concert band," meaning wind instruments (clarinets, flutes, trumpets, etc.) but no strings, and there would be no place for Octavia in that kind of ensemble; or the kind of band you see in popular (non-classical) music, where the emphasis is usually on guitars, keyboards, and so on, and bowed string instruments like the cello appear rarely.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but she could be part of a touring chamber music group. Most commonly these are string quartets. If she were part of such an ensemble, you would need personalities for the three other ponies.
>Conflict, obsession, violence
This almost sounds like the experience of popular superstars; of rock legends who turn to drugs. That sort of thing happens in the classical world, too, but less often. There is enormous pressure to perform well, but very few people are superstars, and the fans are comparatively mature. (That doesn't mean that they always act mature, though. I was at a concert once, and someone who was coughing was trying to quietly unwrap a cough drop. The guy across the aisle hated the noise of unwrapping so much that he actually got up and whispered fiercely to be quiet. I actually thought he was going to hit him.) It is comparatively rare for a classical performer to have groupies or stalkers the way that popular musicians do.

Still, that doesn't stop people from having overinflated egos. There is a reason why "diva" sometimes has a negative connotation! And there is some truly horrible behavior; a number of superstars have been credibly accused of decades of sexual harassment against dozens if not hundreds of other performers.

Of course, you can invent whatever details you need to tell the story you want to tell. Don't let Earth's classical music world spoil your story's.

Posted a new story. Not sure if any anons read Iridium, but it's kind of the pegasus side of things.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/55<wbr>8178/colder-clouds
>>41104551
It's pretty cool stuff. I like the prose and pacing. The scene right before the ending was nice and evocative.
>>41088977
>>41088980
>>41088983
>>41091201
>he did it
Glad to be your punching bag, I guess.
>>41089777
checked and kek'd

>>41088977
I think telling someone to use ChatGPT is fucking GAY

<3 u anon. Let's touch dicks later.

>>41106081
ChatGPT is actually useful you fucking faggot.

AI is going to start writing better stories than any author on fimfic soon, so I'd be careful what you say, especially with so many moderators who lurk here.

>>41106147
>AI is going to start writing better stories than any author on fimfic soon
It won't.
You're partially right since it's already capable of co-writing better stories than the majority of authors on fimfic, but that's not what (I think) anyone is looking for here. It'll be a long, long while before it can produce something that's actually good without needing to be babysit during the entire procedure. I could even see it being impossible with the current solutions -- "garbage in, garbage out". AI trained on garbage already doesn't have the easiest time differentiating between decent writing and great writing, and an even harder time producing the latter in any form. Celestia help you if you're using ChatGPT as your model of choice for writing.
It does have some uses, though, like helping ESLs determine if a sentence sounds natural in English.

>>41105718
I've missed Iridium so I've caught up on it, too, and I'll have to say I actually liked this new one a fair bit more. Now, that's probably because I'm an insufferably pedantic reader at times, but the deliberate quasi-poetic writing of Iridium didn't quite hit as strong as it should've due to a few words or phrasings that struck me as weird or not quite right in the context, almost as if they came from a thesaurus.
Mind you, I still liked that fic and what it tried to accomplish with the prose (it was mostly successful at that task), but Colder Clouds is a much cleaner read; I've had none of those issues with it, so it's all been just very nice.

>>41105718
>this doesn't even get 10 likes
>the Ozymandias bastardization that came out immediately afterward is already at 25
It's one of those days...

>>41106549
It was in a bin for a moment, and I saw that it had an 8-0 rating.
>It's one of those days...
I wouldn't be so harsh to that Ozymandias fic. Your post got me to read it, and it's really not terrible. I didn't like the dialogue (which is, admittedly, 50% of that fic), but it at least had an idea. They're far, far worse fics getting absurdly good updoot counts.

>>41106147
AI will not be able to match even the common level of AiE and greetext dreck. You would do better to invest in Gamestop.

>>41106588
>I saw that it had an 8-0 rating
That's so unfair.
>They're far, far worse fics getting absurdly good updoot counts.
It was mostly a spur of the moment outburst, but since we're on the north-pacific whale hunting forums, I'll elaborate.
What made me so dismayed was that, I feel like it completely missed the point of the original, which was about painting pictures of the Pharaoh and his hubris through implication and stark contrast, all presented with a vaguely mystical, timeless aura of the nameless traveler of the antique land the narrator just so happened to meet. It does an awful lot with very few words and that's why it is my favourite English poem.
But even if we ignore the inspiration, the whole fic is a half-sentence. It sets up a situation and never goes anywhere with it. The only logical conclusion is that "and then they all died", which is an unsatisfying end in and of itself, but the author could have had at least drawn a parallel of how whether they live or die doesn't matter anyway, because the world is so far gone.
Sure, it's not the umpteenth "How me, Anonymous, survived in the body of displaced Goku in Pokemon x MLP?" but it's a story without any sort of substance.
Its only saving graces in my eye are that the author wrote it as a tribute, which is laudable even if I'm not a fan of the end result and I'm somewhat liking the fairtytale-like ending line. It's a good grotesque humor cap to a hopeless story like this.

>>41106592
>greetext
*Greentext
And Greentexts are often better written than fimfics.

>>41106549
It's all the more inspiring that Sarge wrote it, with (probably) the knowledge that a fic like this will never get past a few dozen votes
>>41106649
One of these days I will write a fic, and if it gets to the bin, I will put in the A/N section that it was written by an AI

>>41106708 (Still me)
I'd wonder how much time it would take to get reported, and if the mods would just remove it without a second thought

>>41104059
No spoilers, but it's just a Derpy story. Whooves is one of the secondary characters, and gets maybe twenty lines in the fic in total.

>>41106760
I used to think you were alright, but this post showed me how wrong I was.
>>41106779
yeah, we shouldn't talk about it but im 70% done and will finish it today at work

>>41106841
>>41106864
>I LOVE COCKS!
>AIIIIEEEE A HUMAN!
Another proof that anti-HIE posters are gays.

>>41106894
There's no correlation here. It just what happens when half of the thread is also gay.

>>41106902
I wonder if there's a timeline where all of us are straight.

>>41106461
You're fine; that's a fair take. I've been trying to tone back with smaller exercises to tackle those issues. I'm happy that Colder Clouds is an improvement.
>>41106549
I gave a joke reply on the fic, but don't be surprised. I really don't have a living following, lack publishing consistency, and don't advertise/shill beyond a blog post. It hit the threshold now, at least, so it's a success for me.
>>41106708
>all the more inspiring
Well, my expectation has always been 'so long as it hits the rating threshold, I'm happy', specifically so the rating goes public (way back when, it wasn't always hidden before 10 votes, IIRC). Cypress Zero is the only story where I really hedged on getting a decent amount of interaction--partly because it's still my largest work to date--and I'm really happy it did: an anon put it best when they said it was a 'formative' work. I'm glad you think putting out a little 1000 word piece is inspiring, and I hope you write some fics to prove a point to the sinbin, Anon.
>>41106902
>mfw this thread

>>41106993
You're based and I like your newer stories.

>>41106672
The chad honey lover pokes the hornets nest mistaking them for bees

>>41107023
*hornets', and I feel like you could use a comma after nest.

>>41107032
It's ESL-kun, he's a cute little baiter.

>>41106081
So you do see how to use it for this kind of editing and smoothing-over work, then. I'm glad.

I can't believe Apple Bloom is fucking dead.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2<wbr>25065/a-prophecy-of-worlds-to-fall
This is such a weird story. You can tell the exact moment it's split down the middle in two different things, and it's exactly when Applejack bucks Rainbow's face in. Everything before is a slow paced sad drama that, while having a non-pony premise, is still a surprisingly enjoyable read, and everything after is a mess where the pacing goes into overdrive and the story goes off the rails. The writing gets worse too, and while it wasn't perfect before either the amount of typos and repeated mistakes ramps up in the second half. I don't think I've ever seen a story so neatly divided in two halves. It's a shame, too, because I was honestly liking the fic this seemed to be in its first portion, even with its dark premise. It had some genuine emotional moments and all around it felt well constructed, and the prose was purple-ish in a way I found pleasant.
I do have to wonder if the way the fic goes is how it was always planned to go. If so, that feels doubly weird, especially with how long it took to finish. Maybe the author felt a need to get it done with, but I'm not sure. There's just such a stark contrast between the pacing of things in the first half and the rapid fire events of the second, and especially the weight of events, the ones in the late portion of the story feeling like they have none at all even as oddities pile up in Ponyville out of nowhere. Compared to the pensive, slow approach of the hospital and funeral scenes, both of which are pretty good imo, it almost gives a feeling of whiplash. I feel this also impacts Applejack's character arc, which goes from reasonable grief taken to an extreme to just cartoonish evil. There's not even a resolution at the end, since she's still at large even if without the Amulet.
I didn't listen to the song this fic is inspired by. It does make for a pretty series of chapter titles, at least, which is what got my attention and pushed me to read the fic. Maybe I should check it out, though I doubt it would change my opinion on the story. I saw Sweetie getting her mark coming, but it was still a well done scene all things considered, and I appreciate the use of dresses to cover it up until the reveal. Although I guess the clashing emotions there were an early hint of where the story was going. Still, I couldn't foresee it going off the rails this hard. There's no real mystery either, there's no possible culprit besides AJ and eventually you just learn it was her all along. In a rather unsatisfying way, too, with Spoiled coming out of nowhere after she apparently hit Zecora. Unsatisfying is a good way to describe the latter half of this fic as a whole I suppose. It could have been a lot better had it been a different story, but alas.
Next week we're reading:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/2<wbr>08652/what-is-left
You should decide what we'll read after, too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

The only pic I could find of AJ wearing the Amulet (the tree at the bottom fits at least).png

>>41107150
This is a weird fic. Mainly, there are two odd things about it that impacted how much I liked it. The minor one (to get it out of the way) was the technical quality of the writing. Specifically, a low-level look at it. It starts so well. The scenes are full of suspense, and the atmosphere is so thick that [insert your favorite cliche here]. The sentences flow well, the commas are in the right spots, and all is right in the world. Only... for all this polish, there are some incredibly dumb typos here. Not too common, but we're talking stuff that should be immediately obvious. Ponies go to have a "surgury" (twice), they "exorcise" their rights (thrice), one mare says "You may all me Aunt Orange", missing "n" in "nor" in "neither she or her brother", "farm that set outside Trottingham", etc. Just some really dumb stuff that feels incredibly out of place next to the pretty high-quality writing. It's like the author got all the hard bits of righting right and then failed the simple stuff.
Because the fic—at least its first half—is good. It's not my usual kind of thing, so I might be overlooking if it's too cliche or something, but it's strong. Maybe even very good. The emotions are conveyed really nicely, Rarity's POV is a delight, none of the characters feel useless, and their portrayals are generally believable. I enjoyed it so much that I was wondering if it'd earn a favorite by the end of the story. It had a really good shot at doing just that.

Therefore, it was a terrible shame when the second half came and rushed past in a nonsensical blitz. It sort of reminded me of that one horrible ACW fixfic this club read, with Twilight going insane and getting the alicorn amulet. Obviously it's nowhere near as bad as that fic, but starting somewhere nice and getting to this is kind of unbelievable. The two halves have next to nothing in common in terms of action, pacing, and mood. The first is at least a 7/10 Sad+SoL, which then turns into a 4/10 edgy adventure. This is a schizo fic, though it looked nothing like it for more than an hour of reading. I liked its first half, but I can't upvote this mashup. It ended up setting high expectations and then massively disappointing with the rushed and out-of-tone second half. And the errors get a lot more common, too. At least Rarity was nice all fic.
No-rhyme-zecora/10

>>41107034
>>41107032
Nah, nigga. I’m just phoneposting on the toilet and couldn’t be damned.

>>41107150
>This is such a weird story.
Kek, funny how this is the most obvious first conclusion about. Also agreed on the split and the first half being nice, but this bit:
>the prose was purple-ish in a way I found pleasant.
reminded me that I completely forgot to mention that it quite a lot like Eternal's first two chapters, which are kind of slow and purple in a very similar way (intentional, too, showing a communication problem between Celly&Twi). This random fic evoking Eternal in some way is what led to think that I might favorite it later. Just throw more paragraphs of Rarity's descriptions at me and I'll be happy.
It also took some interesting decisions regarding M6, especially Rares. Her hyper-focusing on something and tuning the world out as a way to cope with stress is maybe not exactly canon, but it was portrayed in a believable way, and I was more than happy to go along with it in this fic. But then the second half comes and just ruins it all.
>the rapid fire events of the second, and especially the weight of events
Yes, that's exactly it. Things happen -- dead birds rain from the sky, Zecora gets beat up -- and somehow none of it comes even remotely close to the weight of the conversations in the hospital in the first chapter. Same with AJ, too. She's pushing the characterization early, but that's totally reasonable in the context. Then, later, she's just a psycho on a quest for vengeance.

>>41107191
>righting
*writing
I can't believe I'm making EFL errors now, too.

>>41107150
It's fascinating that I've never actually thought about a "one of the CMCs gets seriously hurt/dies during their escapades" plot until this fic. So, I'm not too bothered that this is the first one I read that has that happening, assuming I haven't just forgotten it happening in a different story. It's pretty alright, I think. Writing's good, and I like that beyond the initial accident with the CMCs (and maybe the birds) it doesn't veer into hyper violent/edgy territory. One thing it also has that I like is a rather rare antag: Corrupted AJ. She's probably the hardest 'corrupted' M6 version to write in my eyes and I think the story does an alright job in manuvering around that with Bloom's death + the Ali Amulet. That said, it's also the weakest part of the story. I never, not once went 'huh, wonder who's behind that?', so it's really just back and forth until we're finally fully confirmed of what we pretty much already assumed. I think the author should've just focused on the girls falling apart normally rather than AJ going full "yeehaw magical revenge time", simply because the current choice just doesn't really leave too much of an impression despite being, y'know, a story with a corrupted Element of Harmony. The ending being so abrupt doesn't really help, either. Wasn't able to tack two solid ideas together, that's just how it goes sometimes.

I am once again incapable of reading this thread without lamenting my shit tier UK education. I don't even feel particularly educated in the subject I have a Master's in, never mind literature. The only book that is clear in my memory from reading in school is Of Mice and Men. I can name some others that we did, but that was far and away the main one because it was the only one on our exam.

>>41107191
Firstly, apologies for being absent during last week's club, I was recovering from eye surgery. Still am, technically, but at least I'm doing good enough to reply now.
Secondly, I don't have much to say this week either, as I pretty much just agree with your whole post word for word, as I'm sure you've noticed.
>>41107234
I really need to read Eternal at some point, huh?
>Her hyper-focusing on something and tuning the world out as a way to cope with stress is maybe not exactly canon, but it was portrayed in a believable way, and I was more than happy to go along with it
Same.
>I can't believe I'm making EFL errors now, too.
I have been as well lately. It's odd.
>>41107243
>I think the author should've just focused on the girls falling apart normally
Same.

>>41106902
>this thread hates hie more than any other thread
>this thread is gayer than any other thread
>no correlation

>>41107150
I really liked this story. And then I didn't. I still enjoyed it. Until I didn't.
That was so weird. I initially appreciated the way we see everything from Rarity's perspective instead of the surviving Crusaders. I imagined it was a way to relate to Applejack's grief instead of being on the receiving end of her anger. At least, I thought so.
Even after AJ started acting unhinged, I still had a good time. I think going to Appleloosa was a good choice. The distance would've let her cool down and find other ways of processing her grief.
And then, the drama about loss ends and we get the rest of the story. I liked this part, too, but in a completely different way. The way one enjoys videos of accidents in Chinese factories.
I wish we could've followed AJ's degeneration into somepony who spread rumours about two traumatised fillies into someone who blackmailed a mare into attacking a hermit and stealing a powerful magical artifact to enact revenge on her dead sister's friends because she thinks they're responsible.
The second half left a lot to be desired. I think the elements for a good story are there, but we don't get to experience AJ's fall from grace. It just happens. It's quite silly, honestly.
And then it ends. Or, rather, it stops.
Nothing really gets resolved. AJ doesn't have to face the monster she's become. She doesn't realise she was unhealthily dealing with her grief and pushing her pain onto others. She isn't even smitten by the Elements in righteous harmony.
What a letdown.
My overall impression is still a positive, but only barely.
A shame.
Also, voting for: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/11<wbr>7741/its-impossible

>>41107481
Making arbitrary divisions is a great way to inflate your sense of superiority. "Le (insert trope here) is bad because its not reaaaal fan fiction," is just expressing a subjective opinion with enough force to make it feel objective; then, the other retards will follow suit because why waste the mental effort with the simple observation that maybe a story is good if its written well and bad if its written poorly?

>>41107481
Neither of those two statements is true.

>>41107533
You keep saying this, other anons keep refuting you, and you always respond by dismissing the points they bring up before repeating the same line again. Why even come to this thread if you just here to shitpost?

>>41107545
Even the stallion thread is straighter than /fimfic/.

>>41107545
>You keep saying this, other anons keep refuting you, and you always respond by dismissing the points they bring up before repeating the same line again. Why even come to this thread if you just here to shitpost?
What? Have I just been glossing over his posts before? I don't remember this being a recurring thing.

>>41107554
This "what if hie is just written well" or "good hie is still good" have started showing up here recently, maybe a few weeks ago.

>>41107560
Oh, nevermind, you're just schizophrenic.

>>41107533
Link three good HiE stories.
You can't.

>>41107481
>this thread hates hie more than any other thread
That's not true, it would be /ptfg/ and they are perfectly heteros—
Carry on...

The HIE genre is not for the faint of heart. It’s not just about sending humans into the world of Equestria; it’s about transcending the boundaries of fiction itself. Just as you wouldn't expect to stumble upon a Shakespearean play in a high school drama class, or find the nuances of a Tolstoy novel in a community book club, you simply cannot expect a mere fanfic writer to grasp and master the profound depths and soul-stirring complexities of the HIE genre. It's the apex of storytelling. Too intricate, too delicate, too soulful for most to comprehend, let alone capture in writing. The problem isn’t with the genre. The issue lies in its towering grandeur, which is just too monumental for the average writer. We don't lack good HIE stories; we lack the literary giants to pen them.

>>41107601
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/8<wbr>7619
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>00819
Not HiE.

>>41107605
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>00819
>Not HiE.

>>41107601
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>00819
>has to throw in obligatory meme answer

>>41107615
Which part do you not agree on?
It's good.
Shining Armor is controlled by a human. The human is in Equestria.
It's a good HIE.

>>41107618
>the thread meme pornfic is good

>>41107626
You're sounding like a hasdrone.

>>41107626
I was emphatic that it was an evil fic

I'm worried that The Only Mark That Matters is going to get further through the show than I am.

>>41107243
>a "one of the CMCs gets seriously hurt/dies during their escapades" plot
>Wasn't able to tack two solid ideas together, that's just how it goes sometimes.
Maybe it's just that I've not read many fics where such events are likely to show up, but I don't think I've seen that done, either. It really didn't need to go for that second idea; that's just such a huge shift from the first half that it'd be incredibly hard to do it right. That's IF the author tried to get it right instead of just trying to get it done, which we obviously cannot tell anymore. Even then, I might have preferred two separate stories tackling those ideas instead of this one mess.

>>41107293
>agree with your whole post word for word, as I'm sure you've noticed
It was pretty funny reading that.
>I really need to read Eternal at some point, huh?
I think it's pretty great. Maybe a top10 material, if I ever prepared a list like that. It has a great exploration of Twi and Celestia's relationship in a X-decades-later world and a very strong ending. Lots of nice Luna, too. I also remember it being delightfully flowery (in a good way) and overall very good at the characterizations.
But its style is quite deliberate, to the point that you can argue the first two chapters being a tone-setting prologue, and something like 10% of the story is spent on M5. The latter kind of a problem because that fic is so firmly a TwiLestia+Luna story that very few of those M5 scenes feel impactful. tl;dr is that you can accuse it of WORDS WORDS WORDS, even though I personally wouldn't do that. The way it characterizes Celly&Twi and the way it explores the fic's concept is rather excellent, though.

>>41107512
>And then, the drama about loss ends and we get the rest of the story.
>The second half left a lot to be desired.
I wonder if there even was a way to save it. For me, it lost basically all of what it had going in an attempt to pursue the evil AJ plot. It's not done very well -- as you said, we don't even get to see her fall -- but, even if it was, I struggle to imagine this kind of arc next to the slow-paced grief drama. The stakes are, in theory, raised a lot higher and yet nothing feels impactful there.
Either way, it's definitely a letdown. If I had to judge the story as a whole, then I'd probably join you in "barely positive" which is a travesty after that actively good first half. I almost wrote that I'd have been better for it to remain unfinished at that midpoint.

>>41107601
>500819
Morbid curiosity will get me to read it some day, because it doesn't look like a fic that could possibly be good, and yet several anons said not strictly bad things about it. Then again, the fact that one of the highest entries in the "also liked" list is a no-story-involved rapefic might be pretty telling.

It's true that you won't find many good HIE or AIE stories on Fimfiction.
Think. What's the secret sauce of unforgettable storytelling?
Intricate plots? Detailed worlds? Complex characters? Horseshit. It's raw, uncut SOVL.
That primal force that grabs your heart by the balls.
SOVL, baby!
And where does SOVL ooze from every pore?
>GREENTEXTS
A SOVL-packed sucker punch to the brain and a steel-toed kick to the 'nads.
BAM! In just a fistful of lines, a greentext roundhouse kicks you into a scene, jacks the stakes to the Moon, and tattoos itself onto your subconscious.
Fimfiction prose? Limp-dicked drivel. A soggy jizz-rag of pseudo-literary pretension, utterly SOVL-less. Dollar store imitation Hemingway.
Greentexts are SOVL, refined and weaponized. Beluga caviar to Fimfiction's Cheez Whiz. 50-year Macallan to its fermented piss.
No shit the HIE and AIE GOATs ditched that dumpster fire for
>GREENER
pastures.
In the promised land of greentext, freed from prose's shackles, they forged soul-searing SOVL bombs. Every word, every line, carefully-calibrated for maximum impact.
They transcended. Reached SOVL Nirvana. Leaving Fimfiction to fester in SOVL-starved squalor.

Hailey Potter's author finally crawled out of the woodwork.<br>https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/103<wbr>9953/i-always-knew-trucking-was-har<wbr>d

>>41107788
>Yeah, I know I'm good at it... Doesn't make it stop killing me, though. And I mean that literally- the food is one thing, but the 70h work week is killing me inside as well. I actually found myself wondering last night exactly how many amps are required to make the 120V output of this truck's AC power inverter lethal- that's how bad it's getting. Fortunately, there are better, less-lethal options available... I think.

>>41107191
>I liked its first half, but I can't upvote this mashup.
Yeah. I was leaning toward leaving a like while reading and then that feeling just slowly faded, sad.
>At least Rarity was nice all fic.
True, actually. Beyond the obvious outlier I liked all the girls in this.
>>41107512
>I wish we could've followed AJ's degeneration ...
Yep. Again, just having it be a normal, sad falling out between them because of AB's death would've been smart, the Amulet was honestly entirely unneeded.
>I think the elements of a good story are there ...
Completely agree.
>>41107768
>I might have preferred two separate stories tackling those ideas instead of this one mess.
And you absolutely should, because they should've been two different stories. As you said later on they outright don't mesh, and that's because imo they're plots that already stand alone strong enough as plots for a story, so having them together ends up leaving whichever one the author (maybe unconsciously) leaned into harder being more realized than the other.
>which is a travesty after that actively good first half/been better for it to remain unfinished at that midpoint.
Fucking kek. It just hit me that this story is basically another <s>First Week of Winter.</s> Bleak.

>>41107989
>spoiler
I wouldn't say this is THAT extreme. At least the two halves are somewhat related here.

How to accept my destiny as a talentless hack?

>>41108378
Develop an overinflated ego and start a religion.

>>41104331
>4 chapters in a month
>4 chapters in a month
>3 chapters in a month
>1 chapter
>2 chapters
>6 month gap
Yikes. That's following the standard deadfic progression. <s>Sounds like you could always commission him to finish it if you're desperate enough, given the state of his blog posts.</s>

>>41107234
>I can't believe I'm making EFL errors now
I eagerly await the first it's.

Is that... A DEER? AAAH, MAILMARE SAVE ME!
>/FSBC/

It's a fun fic. It's a very light thing with enjoyable characters, good humor, and a decent, absurd-looking plot that comes together very nicely in the end. It'd probably be exceptionally difficult to find anyone actively disliking this story. Admittedly, I haven't read many Derpfics, but her character here is perfect. She's still the silly pegasus we recognize, but she's given enough character to be the proper protagonist of the story. The side characters are a more mixed bag. Carrot Top and her family are nice—and I liked Dr. Whooves not being a Dr. Who character—but the M6 felt exaggerated and didn't add much to the story, especially Twi and FS. RD was good enough.
The fic is very much a light, E-rated fun adventure, so it's nice that most of the humor (and the overall lighthearted atmosphere) don't fail. There are stakes, and there is some tension once you get closer to the finale, but that's not what most of the fic is about. In fact, the story takes several chapters before beginning to unveil the problematic situation, which is then fixed 2/3 of the way in. The last third is a very elaborate SoL-like epilogue, but there was some effort put into making sure it didn't bore the reader. Like most of the fic, it's enjoyable, but I still think it could've been made more succinct. Derpy summarizes her story TWICE in it. But the pacing somehow isn't bad despite the fic's structure. I'm not sure it I should favorite it, but it's close.

Now, references. Lots of references, and to everything at all. Here you can find S2's fan pandering frames inspiring entire scenes (like coming up with an explanation of picrel). Ancient fandom jokes turn into the biggest plot points—seriously, does anyone in 2024 remember the "Derpy empties Carrot Top's fridge meme"?—and that's only MLP references. The fic also goes for many non-pony ones, pulling from folklore, movies, books, and probably anything else you can think of. Sometimes it's not very subtle, like the overtly Irish deer-elves reminding you that they're Irish in every scene. But other times, it'll drop a reference that you will miss unless you're deeply familiar with the source. To mention one that at least one other anon must have caught, a Saddle Arabian pony named Hazard Read appears exactly once. He's never mentioned or elaborated upon, so either you're familiar with Lovecraft enough to associate him with Alhazred, or you just aren't. You could give this fic to ten well-read people and ask them to write down the references that they find, and by the of it, I think the lists would not have much overlap.
On one hand, this is pretty admirable, and the fic does a good job at not overwhelming you with the references or requiring you to know them for the story. On the other hand, after the first few, every single name had me asking myself, "Do I know this reference?". I can't even say how many of them are references, but that didn't make it better.

>>41109260
I liked this story. I didn't take any notes for it, and I'm still recovering from surgery, and I finished it a few days ago, so my post will be even more disorganised than usual, but hopefully still intelligible. I did leave a like on this story, and I know I'm not the only one. I think it's just plain good, and I can see it being sort of a classic. It reminds me of World of Colgates, in a less tight and more wide format. I particularly enjoyed the chapter titles, and the way they're presented within the fic itself. If there is one part I enjoyed less it's probably the middle chapters, which makes sense, as they're technically the older ones. I couldn't say what it is exactly but they have something about them that's slightly off and worse than the rewritten early chapters. Thankfully things pick back up in the late ones, and I do particularly like the final long chapter.
It is interesting that the story decides to have an extended epilogue of sorts as its longest chapter, but I don't mind, it makes for a good chapter and I like the way it's told. My favourite moment in the fic though is probably Derpy turning into a badass against the d*er. I do in general like the whole weirdness angle the fic has going on, with things just happening and oddities existing. I like that tendentially we get payoffs for things that are established, though not always, and it strikes a good balance between making the fic feel cohesive and making the broader word it's set in feel more alive and vast. I guess I don't have much else to say, though hopefully the club will jog my memory regarding some specific scenes or opinions and discussion points.

>>41109260
[VOTING]
Next week we're reading... actually, I sort of forgot to do the voting last week. Whoops. My bad.
As always, suggesting and votes are more than welcome, but here are a few picks hastily pulled from my own RIL:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1<wbr>50611/the-white-mare
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4<wbr>23769/the-haunting
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/6<wbr>0514/into-the-depths
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/5<wbr>19321/sorry-we-missed-you
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4<wbr>88784/fluttershy-royal-game-warden
I know most people can't be bothered to click on too many links, so I'll change these regularly.

>>41109260
Th'cl'br'gh the Overpunctuated is here to literally kill /fimfic/
This story was actually fucking amazing. Extremely pony all the way through and barely any Dr.Hooves to boot! (of course his longest individual contribution is the worst part of the fic) I couldn't really see the plot for the first while and at the end the author says it was just a bunch of vignettes until his prereaders told him to make a plot and it kind of shows, but not necessarily in a bad way. There are so many individual scenes that are amazing and the Derpy is PEAK. Which is somewhat of a surprise to me, the premise seemed... ehh, but holy fuck I love ponies. The fae and eldritch were both actual good inclusions. And I really liked the prologue letters.
>ponies sing together as courtship
>dr.hooves is just a freak
>derpy writes fanfics
>"why don't the fae just send a letter?"
>>>can't read fae
>laughing that hard at RD being a virgin
Brutal
>zwost, fjoth, etc
I actually really liked this fic's words
>Dr.Hooves gets called a spook by constable peeler
Kino
>the 3 doctors part is instantly the worst part of the fic
Shocking, truly.
>vril particles
>"you can't make an omelet without destroying ponyville town hall once or twice"
Kek, its funny because what she actually did was crawl into and assumedly break an egg, which then led to the destruction of town hall
>celestial clockwork Luna
>constable peeler reminding mayor mare that she can't take the donation
>Lupita DeLopeza a.k.a. Loop de Loop
>derpy helps a crab
>"You're almost as bright as the sun."
Kino
>Luna hangs out in your dream and invites you to the RSS
>wake up, "Damn it was just a dream, I needed that job."
Fucking kek. This is a good premise, but its just a normal dream and Luna never actually offered a job and so the pony just acts like a secret agent janny
>Luna just says "and possessor of other titles too numerous to list," in a letter that is basically a threat then drops 50 of her titles in the signature
Holy kino, fae btfo beyond belief. I really liked this Luna and found myself caring the most about her series in the giga chapter just to see more of her. And holy fuck she even stole the show in the prologue

>>41109263
>I didn't take any notes for it
Pretty much the same for me. Nothing bad stands out, and it didn't have any specific moments requiring a note aside from the better jokes like Th'cl'br'gh.
>It reminds me of World of Colgates
That's the most obvious comparison, yeah. If I praised that one, I probably should be higher on this one, too. Also, I was also very close to referencing the Derp/Luna thing from WoC.
>If there is one part I enjoyed less it's probably the middle chapters,
I mean, that's probably the result of his shift in the story plans for the fic, going from unconnected SoL-like episodes to a larger adventure with some kind of an overarching plot. But that does mean that all the established plot elements being used later was not something the author planned initially. There wasn't meant to be any followup to the salt-chasing horrors.
>it makes for a good chapter and I like the way it's told
It's hard to disagree too strongly since it is written nicely and at no point was I annoyed by it (the decision to do this kind of a fragmented narrative slowly being explained helps a lot), but it's on the verge of becoming too repetitive for me.

>>41109265
>Extremely pony all the way through
Definitely. It's the kind of a fic that you could tell me is your favorite fic on Fimfic and I would nod along without raising any objections. I'd love it if new fics were more like this one in many ways. The premise/description sounding unexciting is probably one of its largest issues. This may be why it "only" has 500 likes despite starting to publish in 2012 (and still finishing in 2015).
>derpy writes fanfics
Anon, I... <s>She doesn't.</s>
>>Dr.Hooves gets called a spook by constable peeler
>Kino
I didn't like Peeler much in this story. He's too much of a cop for Ponyville, I think? I know cops are canon in Manehattan, but Ponyville having them actively monitoring the town is a very meh decision, imo.
>>celestial clockwork Luna
That's because of Derpy's talents, right? She sees through the illusion and gets to see Luna in the dream more like she actually is, and apparently Dream!Luna is a benevolent eldritch creature? That's how I read it.
>Holy kino, fae btfo beyond belief.
Oh right, the way she absolutely flexes on them in that letter was great.
>pic
Other than the double ears, this is a very stylish ai pic.

>>41109260
>Derpfics, but her character here is perfect
Yes, I don't think I've ever disliked a derp, but this one is certainly good. I think a well written derpy is a powerful tool for expressing ponyness in a story. Her lovable bumbling improves any comfy pony feelings when she's done well.
>the M6 felt exaggerated and didn't add much to the story
eh, I don't think they were really supposed to add much. Twi was just a looming threat that never manifested and FS was just there to give Derpy an egg and I guess passively take part in jokes like the henhouse and RD being a virgin while also being everyone's gf (not marefriend tho). Also Rarity I guess was just to eventually give Derpy a bag of gems so she could start her new holiday
>references
Yeah, it's packed full of them and I'm certain I missed many

>>41109263
>I think it's just plain good
Agreed.
>chapter titles
Yeah I liked them as well. And this was certainly one of the points where I started to miss some references, since they were basically all references. I enjoyed the title of the super chapter.
>and I do particularly like the final long chapter.
Yeah, I was initially (after the title) kind of rolling my eyes at it and what it was doing, but I ended up liking it a lot. Probably after I read a part of each (I'm not sure what to call them) timeline I guess and I realized I liked reading them all enough for it to be a fine format. I particularly like Luna being impossible to look at for Derpy. Like an eldritch horror, but instead of horrors beyond your comprehension bringing you to madness, it was some sort of perfection that brought you to a state of awe that you couldn't look away from. I wonder if it's the same reason that Derpy can't look at Twilight, but to such a higher magnitude that when Luna is in her field of view she is entirely consumed by the vision of Silver cogs in a starscape. Kino regardless
>It is interesting that the story decides to have an extended epilogue of sorts as its longest chapter, but I don't mind, it makes for a good chapter and I like the way it's told.
Absolutely, the pacing in general was non-standard I'd say. But I liked it, and it really lent itself to the SoL style. We're pretty much just hanging out with Derpy and at one point a plot rolls by but then it's gone and we hang out some more. You know, because we were having such a good time.
>Derpy bein a badass
The deer were great, I think I might've liked the first deer scene more though, Derpy talking like she's at a renfair and just constantly thinking "Why the fuck did I just say it like that" was pretty funny
>tendentially we get payoffs for things that are established, though not always, and it strikes a good balance between making the fic feel cohesive and making the broader word it's set in feel more alive and vast
completely agree, I think this is because the story was initially just vignettes but it works. also having the real plot be like 1/3 the story also helps to see how things are here

>>41109260
Before I dive in, let's address the elephant in the room:

The Doctor Whooves tag and summary had me worried, but thankfully the doc is just a side character. That said, as someone who doesn't give a fuck about Dr. Who, those were easily the weakest parts.
I get why he's there for the overall story, so it's not just pandering. But cramming that franchise into Equestria still feels forced. Keep this faggot out.

Now, onto the fic itself:

The prose is well-crafted, with a charmingly whimsical tone that pairs nicely with the protagonist and themes...

For the first 3-4 chapters.

I'll take the blame - my preference is to binge read rather than digest a story in small daily chunks. And for this particular fic, I really should have paced myself.

Because holy hell, what began as charming quickly became absolutely exhausting to slog through. I repeatedly found myself skimming lines before catching myself.

I'll be curious to see if others feel the same, or if I'm alone in this. Suppose I owe it another go with a slower, more measured reading - see if I can't give this fic the appreciation it likely deserves.

Derpy's interactions with the Mane 6 were lovely, Carrot Top and Ditzy less so. The meta shipping joke fell a touch flat, but still landed better than most ham-fisted attempts. Really, Really clever integrations of the iconic Derpy scene from the show.

Ironically, the weakest parts were the most otherworldly for me.

The early fae integration for that magical, fairy tale whimsy worked, but subsequent appearances left me cold. That whole scene with Derpy teleported and talking to researchers was… weak. And like I said, the Time Travel stuff with Whooves didn't do anything for me, even with his minimal presence.

In the end, it didn't fully resonate with me, but I recognize the talent here.

>>41109313
>fragmented narrative
Ah yeah that's a better way of putting it, I'm tired
>but it's on the verge of becoming too repetitive for me.
Yeah, I can definitely see that. In the very beginning I was against it for the thought of this very reason, and I'm kind of glad it ended when it did, but I think it didn't actually overstay its welcome, it was just getting close
>It's the kind of a fic that you could tell me is your favorite fic on Fimfic and I would nod along without raising any objections
kek, absolutely
>The premise/description sounding unexciting is probably one of its largest issues.
Also absolutely true. I just reread it and the description itself might even be fine, but the FUCKING TAGS man. Should also have SoL and by god get rid of the OC and Dr.Whooves tags. I'd say no character in this fic is more important than any other character besides Derpy. She should be the only tag. No OC had more time than the M6 but they weren't mentioned. A bunch of side characters all didn't get tagged. So Why did she have to tag OC and Whooves? I don't think I would've read this without the club and that would've been a shame and entirely the fault of Dr.Hooves tag. Even the description makes him seem like a side character. The fucking tag though...
>despite starting to publish in 2012
Criminal that there is actual shit with 15k+ likes and this has under 600
>She doesn't.
You don't know that. If she thought about it enough to write a deceptive note about it then she might be autistic enough to actually write some
>I didn't like Peeler much in this story. He's too much of a cop for Ponyville, I think?
Hmm I can definitely see that. I interpreted it more as he is the only cop in Ponyville (even though I don't think he is so that's flawed) and thus tries to follow the law to the letter. Some parts seemed like to much like him being autistic about littering and him handcuffing derpy, but I liked him reminding the Mayor that she couldn't take derpy's donation and her having to grit her teeth and agree with him. But yeah, he seems a little too serious for Ponyville
>That's because of Derpy's talents, right?
That's what I would assume. Probably Celestia is something similar and Cadence to a lesser extent. I wonder if she looks at Canterlot from Ponyville while the sisters are on their balconies if she still gets completely consumed by their visions
>She sees through the illusion and gets to see Luna in the dream more like she actually is, and apparently Dream!Luna is a benevolent eldritch creature? That's how I read it.
Ah interesting, I thought it was just her 'magic signature' or something, not that that's her true form (or Dream Luna's form) But maybe you're on to something. Maybe Tia/Luna are visible in more than one dimension and she sees multiple effects from multiple realities while she looks at them. They do seem to know about all of these other places and beings after all
>very stylish ai pic.
I genned it in november and instantly thought of it

>>41109335
>Before I dive in, let's address the elephant in the room:
Kek, absolutely correct take. And as I've said, I wouldn't have read this if it wasn't in the club and it would've been because of the dr.whooves tag
>The prose is well-crafted, with a charmingly whimsical tone that pairs nicely with the protagonist and themes...
Agreed
>For the first 3-4 chapters.
Huh, I never made a note of this, but everyone is kind of saying it and I think I'm in the same boat. But I'd have to read it again and keep my eyes out for it to be sure. But I did like the beginning and the end the most
>Derpy's interactions with the Mane 6 were lovely, Carrot Top and Ditzy less so
kek that's like the opposite of Rarifag
>That whole scene with Derpy teleported and talking to researchers was… weak.
I honestly forgot about that part.It was weird, but kind of fit in with the weird of the rest of the fic. I'd say maybe the bigger stand-out for me was just how much they talked about kalishnakov portals or whatever. Perhaps a bit too much. And yeah fuck the Dr. Honestly he felt like a weird inclusion because his presence means a whole lot for the setting. Derpy isn't actually as special as the story makes her seem. After all there's already time travelling ponies (who aren't the most powerful mages in the world) just non-chalantly trying to solve issues before the royal guard has to get involved. This kind of just makes the entire story 'less' in a way. It would've been better to just be explaining why Derpy does what she does, without pulling back a curtain that reveals that 'actually everything that happens just off camera in the show is completely wacky and crazy, not just derpy'. His presence simply diminishes hers.

>>41109260
I made it to the end! I didn’t think I would get there on this fic, but it definitely held together well. On the one hand, so much of this fic reads like the most standard get-the-mcguffin adventure ever. On the other hand, it is really well put together.
The two things I appreciated most out of it were how it all tied into itself nicely and the humor. [Comedy] does seem to be the death of funny fics. I didn’t read the “old” versions, I guess the fic didn’t always have this cohesion.
I can add this fic to the short pile of “stories that keep going past the end,” too, so that’s neat.
Besides not really caring about the characters, the only mentionable issue I had with the fic were the occasional piece of dialogue that did not seem to come out of a FiMFic. I think this was most apparent in Derpy’s long back and forth with Luna. Speaking of Luna, her letter to the fae was really well written.
In the end, I don’t ever expect to read this again, but it’s definitely one of the good finds from the RCL list. More importantly, this feels like a good backup fic I would hand to someone who isn’t familiar with the show as a good read. Bug on a Stick is the main one for that, I think, but this one has the advantage of being a third of the length.

I guess as a last comment, it was neat seeing Sassaflash and her Sassaflashian characters show up again in this fic. I got some references, and probably wouldn't have picked up tindalocur if not for Rise and Fall. Is the band nightmare a reference to the Rhythm is Magic series or something else?

>But the pacing somehow isn't bad despite the fic's structure.
The pacing is definitely an achievement in this fic. Quite a lot happens, considering the wordcount. It also kept me engaged despite not particularly caring about the characters from start to finish.

>>41109335
>That said, as someone who doesn't give a fuck about Dr. Who, those were easily the weakest parts.
I have never watched a full episode of Dr. Who, and suffice to say, I do not care about it at all. Maybe someone who used to watch the series can correct me, but I don't think this Whooves was much like Who? Certainly we've seen no time-traveling police boxes, and Whooves being able to do it seems like his personal talent more than anything else. Those were definitely not my favorite parts of the fic, but he didn't feel like a Dr. Who rip-off. At least as much as you can do it without completely ignoring his established "lore".
>I'll be curious to see if others feel the same,
I liked it, but I will say that I had a kind of similar experience with it. Normally I read the bookclub fics in one go, and here, I took a break about half the wordcount in. Ultimately, it is a low-ish stakes fic that reads a lot like SoL, so binging it for hours could be a bad idea.
>Really, Really clever integrations of the iconic Derpy scene from the show.
Both ones! This is, I think, the first fic I read which acknowledged the visual gag of her chicken coop appearance. Did the fic *need* to explain it? Probably not, but it still did it.
>subsequent appearances left me cold
Personally I liked the fae and the lovecraftian elements (perhaps because I like them in general), but I definitely agree that the scene with the researchers was meh. It's probably the weakest part of the fic for me. Maybe it was referencing something I'm not familiar with, like a movie.

>>41109363
>I think it didn't actually overstay its welcome, it was just getting close
True. It's hard to find any serious flaws here.
>the FUCKING TAGS man
We're looking at it in 2024, and from a certain perspective, but my best guess is that the Whooves tag was supposed to actually lure the readers in. The fandom was a lot more receptive to these kinds of winks coming from the official show, and Dr. Who was also (I think?) more popular that he's now. It's just unfortunate he ended up repelling people with Taste (where "Taste" is defined as liking things I like, duh)
>Criminal that there is actual shit with 15k+ likes and this has under 600
One thing to note, though: We've read the rewritten version of these chapters. All that the people in 2012/2013 had were the previous version of the early chapters. Every single bit of what we've seen wasn't there yet. That's why I'd say it's more fair to compare it with 2015 fics, but yes, it's still kind of very low.
>I thought it was just her 'magic signature' or something
This could definitely be that, too. It's even the more grounded explanation. But the way fic involved some elements of multidimensional and incomprehensible eldritch entities made me thing of this also applying to C&L. Their knowledge and actions seems to paint them as some kind of goddesses here.

>>41109260
>Is that...
I'm glad we had the same reaction there.
>She's still the silly pegasus we recognize
It is nice how she's still weird and silly underneath the stuff that's going on.
>M6
Pinkie was good, but you're right that I'm not sure how in character Twi was.
>fixed 2/3 of the way in
It's closer to 3/4ths by wordcount I think.
>Hazard Read
I did catch that, of course, and I do wonder how much I missed as a whole. But for me, that makes the experience better, not worse.
>>41109264
>voting
Royal Game Warden.
>>41109265
I'm surprised you liked the fic so much.
>letters
This reminds me, I really liked how each character wrote their letters in this, especially Derpy's notes.
>RD being a virgin
That one was funny.
>I actually really liked this fic's words
I did enjoy them too.
>>the 3 doctors part is instantly the worst
I wouldn't say it was for me.
>This is a good premise
You're not wrong, one could make that into a story.
>>41109313
>I mean
I haven't read the original version, so I don't know how much was changed, but I do wonder how different the original early chapters were and how much they were changed to allow for a larger plot to happen.
>it "only" has 500 likes
Most of its views came in 2015, right after it was finished. I wonder why.
>I didn't like Peeler much in this story
Same, he felt a bit out of nowhere compared to the rest.
>That's because of Derpy's talents, right?
Yeah.
>>41109325
>We're pretty much just hanging out with Derpy and at one point a plot rolls by but then it's gone and we hang out some more. You know, because we were having such a good time.
That's a good way to put it.
>Derpy talking like she's at a renfair and just constantly thinking "Why the fuck did I just say it like that" was pretty funny
True, it was.
>>41109391
>I don't think this Whooves was much like Who?
Correct.
>the scene with the researchers was meh
It kind of was, I suppose.

>>41109383
>The pacing is definitely an achievement in this fic. Quite a lot happens, considering the wordcount.
Yeah good point, this honestly feels like we've been reading it for more than a week. Or more than a week's worth of stuff happened in it anyway.

>>41109391
>rewritten
True, but even if it was complete garbage, the complete garbage of 2012 was still capable of pulling 10k votes lmao
>But the way fic involved some elements of multidimensional and incomprehensible eldritch entities made me thing of this also applying to C&L. Their knowledge and actions seems to paint them as some kind of goddesses here.
I was more focusing on how you said 'like she actually is' When I think how she actually is is a normal Alicorn. But that depends on what reality/dimension you view her in/from. But I also wasn't clear if you were implying real and dream Luna are different entities. Anyways I liked it a lot regardless. And I like the princesses being portrayed as very powerful and ancient like they are here.

>>41109400
>but you're right that I'm not sure how in character Twi was.
She was just a glownigger (in two different ways)
>I'm surprised you liked the fic so much.
It was actually pony and that counts for a lot. Even Xanthorp the flayer was just a homie.
>especially Derpy's notes.
Very endearing even if she maybe should write better at her age

>>41109381
>kek that's like the opposite of Rarifag
I can see why, some of the early Twilight parts may be a bit over the top. But I did like the small Spike-Twilight interaction in it. The rest of the gang ranged from good to entertaining IMO.
I need to reread them to see why, but I remember getting the same problem as the lunaflag here >>41109383
> were the occasional pieces of dialogue that did not seem to come out of a FiMFic
But in my case for the Carrot and Ditzy parts.

>>41109260
"FIA SÍDHE could be here" she thought, "I've never been in this Krasnicker tube before. There could be FIA SÍDHE anywhere." The cool wind felt good against her bare coat. "I HATE THE FIA SÍDHE" she thought. An Average Day reverberated her entire fridge, making it pulsate even as the spinach-basil-and-hay-bacon muffin circulated through her powerful digestive system and washed away her (merited) fear of high-dimensional beings. "With strabismus, you can see anything you want" she said to herself, out loud.

>>41109400
>voting
>Royal Game Warden.
No.
No you don't.
I read that fic a couple of weeks ago.
It's shit. It's just shit. Don't read it.
Nobody should read it.

>>41109422
>"I've never been in this Krasnicker tube before.
lmao
>An Average Day
I honestly forgot about this part, I probably should've listened to the song at some point

>>41109264
I thought you skipped voting last week on purpose because of the low turnout for the fic?
Voting for The White Mare.

>>41109363
>but the FUCKING TAGS man
It's so funny, I know part of this is just Twiflag hangups, but at the same time I agree, but that's largely due to the way time has passed in the fandom. Like Rariflag said, [Doctor Whooves] almost certainly attracts more readers than it repels. Even so, it repelled everyone who picked it up for the club. [OC] should definitely be there, though.
I think that back when this was posted, (and maybe still today, I didn't check), it was illegal to have [Adventure] and [SoL] on the same story. The tagging interface wouldn't let you do it as they are (rightly) considered opposing tags.

>>41109381
>kek that's like the opposite of Rarifag
Opposite me too. I was really not looking forward to any scenes with Derpy babysitting Dinky, expecting them to be similar to the scenes in the show where the CMC get babysat. It was so, so much better than I was expecting. In general, the fic did a great job with the OCs, including the non-character BG ponies that are turned into characters. I do see why people don't like Peeler, but he didn't really kick me out of the fic while I was reading it.

>>41109431
Maybe it's so shit that it's good.

>>41109431
It's like he just pounced on the one with the most red tags, even though "into the depths" is probably more his speed.

>>41109264
I vote for white mare

>>41109436
>it was illegal to have [Adventure] and [SoL] on the same story
Ah i seem to remember something like that, that's fair then. But little good the fucking Dr.Whooves tag did
And I don't actually mind the [OC] tag at all. If it's the only one it's a red flag, but if there is just ocs in the fic then I don't care, which is how it worked out in this case.

>>41109381
>This kind of just makes the entire story 'less' in a way.
On one hand yes, and I see where you're coming from, but that's also how this world is built, I think. How the author envisioned it. There are dimension-hopping deer just visiting Equestria like it's nopony's business, rifts open up on daily basis, and some ponies have superpowers which let them interact with the world on a super-equine scale. Derpy's talent is special, but it's not "only one in Equestria's history"-special, more of a "one in a million"-special. Which is why she does get invited to the pony secret service by Luna, but it's not like C&L personally beg her or something. This all quietly happens in the background while the "normal" ponies go about their lives, not knowing about any of it. You can say you like it less than the alternative of having just Derpy be the weird part of Equestria, but I don't think it's necessarily good or bad by itself.

>>41109383
>[Comedy] does seem to be the death of funny fics.
It's getting pretty funny how consistent this is.
But yes, this is in that same cross-section of "distinctly a ponyfic" and "doesn't require knowing the source" as Bug. I think I'd also put Sassaflash in that group with Bug and this, but that could be my bias. Even if Alarm Clock didn't end up as one of my personal all-time favorites, it's objectively a very good ponyfic.

>>41109400
>Most of its views came in 2015, right after it was finished. I wonder why.
I was going to say it's also a result of being inducted to the RCL: https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/2<wbr>015/06/05/meta-fours-alarm-clock/ but while you can see the huge spike on the chart in June, it got an even larger spike immediately after it finished publishing.
People used to read RCL to look for high-quality fics. That's how it ended up here, too. Though the RCL had their misses. (cough, cough, 81 Days). It's also pretty funny to see iisaw basically express Twianon's take (and one that I agree with it, too).

>>41109422
>An Average Day reverberated her entire fridge
Kek, this is now my favorite use of this meme.

>>41109431
It's been shilled itt a bunch of times and it was written by a thread author. I read some of his newer fics and they were pretty nice; I doubt it's too horrible.

>>41109436
>skipped voting last week on purpose
Right, that's what I did. Definitely!
>it was illegal to have [Adventure] and [SoL] on the same story
I think that's true, but they've removed the restriction later. The tag information still defines them as opposing tags "Unlike [Adventure], [Slice of Life]..." but you can now have both tags on the same fic.

>>41109411
>Or more than a week's worth of stuff happened in it anyway.
You're not entirely wrong.
>the complete garbage of 2012 was still capable of pulling 10k votes lmao
It would be easy to make a Background Pony joke here.
>It was actually pony
I suppose.
>she maybe should write better at her age
Please understand, writing is hard.
>>41109431
It can't be that bad.
>>41109434
I'll be listening to the song in a minute.
>>41109436
FWIW, the DW doesn't repel me.
>it was illegal to have [Adventure] and [SoL] on the same story
I seem to remember something like that, yeah.
>>41109442
Actually I picked the shortest one, but I also am interested in Jimmy's stuff in general, so that's why I went with it. I'm not mad we're reading WM though.
>>41109479
>that's also how this world is built, I think
That's my take as well.
>RCL
I almost made it there, did you know? Though I would argue with a fic that did not deserve it.
We should get a replacement for it at some point. Something like it to inject some life into the site. I wouldn't mind being a part of something like that.

>>41109520
>I'll be listening to the song in a minute.
There's a comment on the YouTube video of it I'm listening to that reads "Dammit, Meta Four!" from 9 years ago, with 7 (now 8) likes and one single reply from a month ago that also came from the fic. It's a bittersweet sort of feeling.

>>41109479
>the RCL had their misses
The fact that they featured "Every Mare Needs Her Stallion" should be enough to discredit anything they ever had to say about fanfics.

I've never met a Flutterfag that I've liked.

>>41109694
I have and he paid me in mares to say this.

>>41109694
You've never met anybody because you never leave your house.

>>41109694
You wouldn't happen to be a janny, would you?

>>41109264
Voting Royal Game Warden because of the chapter titles only. I hope the fic will live up their hilarity.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>41109260
>>41109264
Since it's a tie and we're a week behind schedule, we'll read FS Royal Game Warden and White Mare as the next two fics. Starting with WM if odds, or with Game Warden if evens. The other fic will go a week later.

>>41110085
If you want to go that path, no dice were ever necessary; post numbers would absolutely suffice here. But that doesn't feel like a proper roll. D20 is more "die-like".

>Only 3 human fics in the sinbox.
Sad day.

>>41109431
>read the fic a couple of weeks ago
>didn't post a rant in the thread about how shit it was so it could be avoided
You have only yourself to blame. <s>I can tell just from the chapter titles it has a shit style of comedy.</s>