Joust!

op

You sit on top of your horse, fully armored with shield in hand and wait. Not to far from you, stands your older brother William. He lays your lance across his shoulder, today the roles are reversed and he squires for you. Across the way is your opponents pavilion, he has yet to show himself. Due to special circumstances, he is running late. The longer you wait, the more the nerves start to work away at your mental fortitude. You cannot be blamed for this however, for there is much to be nervous about.It is the first joust of the finals, and an unexpectedly large crowd has come to spectate. It has been an uncharacteristically warm spring and the winter dragged its heels departing. An amateur tournament has given nobles and peasants alike all the excuse they needed to leave their homes. The green hills all around the glade are dotted with blankets and pavilions with more coming by the hour. The organizers have likewise done their best to grow the tournament area to meet the needs of the expanding viewership. Seating for the nobility, stalls for merchants, and of course, the pageantry. A great deal of flowing banners, whimsical instruments, and colorful drapery has been put out over time. Not that you are complaining about it, the truth is that it all makes you feel like a real knight. It is enough to stir your imagination. Transporting you at times to places like the far off grand arena in Midlan. Where a knight can win the kiss of a princess, and the cheers of crowds are deafening. Or so you are told.

"Steady yourself, looks like they are finally ready."

Your opponent's pavilion opens to reveal Sibil of house Gelt, fully armored and helped along by both servants and two of his brothers. Just yesterday, a rumor had circulated that an accident during practice had left the young man severely injured. From the looks of things, it seems whispers have turned to truth. Sibil is lifted onto his horse, but the lance put into his hand is too heavy. He can barely lift it.

"They should have pulled him out of the tournament. What are they doing setting him on a horse?" You whisper the words loud enough for your brother to hear. "It is an act of cruelty, and it's not much fair to me."

"There is more to this than you know. The house of Gelt would not pull out of the tournament even if they had to mount a headless body onto that horse. Their family carries a black mark from over a hundred- three hundred years ago, they pay for it still."

"So its, politics then." The words are venom in your mouth. You don't know the details but your brother brings clarity to the interactions you have had with Sibil during your youth. It would explain some "odd behaviours", brave border lining moronic.

"You'll get used to it. Or you'll quit. Either way, aim to graze his shield and don't speed up until a quarter way. A win by a few points is a win, no sense hurting him or his pride further. I doubt he will put up much of a fight." William hands you your lance.

Amateur tournaments such as these follow the rules of the "joust of peace". The rules are simple, with a focus on safety. The idea is to prepare squires and prospects for the real thing, while making sure that even young aspirants can safely compete. The lane is shorter to reduce speeds, the shields are much larger, and the lances are lighter. The rules only award points
to hits on the opponent's shield while penalizing body shots. Of course, like in all tournaments, hitting your opponents horse is immediate disqualification and possible bann from all jousts should you be recognized. Despite all these aspects, accidents can still happen.

Sibil’s horse begins its trot forward, the trumpets sound, and the crowd starts to cheer.

>what do?
-(Honourable Knight) Lift your lance and pass your opponent. You will not strike an injured opponent.
-(Principled Jouster) Do what your brother suggested and take your win. He has years of experience and knows best.
-(Blackguard Duellist) Strike your opponent in the shield full force! You didn't put him on that horse, but you will take him off it!
-write in: No write-ins for the first few posts.

Anonymous

>>5971349

>(Principled Jouster) Do what your brother suggested and take your win. He has years of experience and knows best.

Listen to our bro

>>5971353
>-(Principled Jouster) Do what your brother suggested and take your win. He has years of experience and knows best.

Bruh moment

>>5971349
>-(Principled Jouster) Do what your brother suggested and take your win. He has years of experience and knows best.

Bro suggested this, no reason not to go with it.

OH SHIT KNIGGA, A KNIGHT'S TALE! Glad you went through with this, saw you mention it in the QTG awhile back. We don't want to injure or slight the man, nor lose, so a shield strike only makes sense.

>>5971349
>-(Blackguard Duellist) Strike your opponent in the shield full force! You didn't put him on that horse, but you will take him off it!

We're here to WIN! We're here to DESTROY.

>>5971349
>(Blackguard Duellist) Strike your opponent in the shield full force! You didn't put him on that horse, but you will take him off it!

>>5971349
>-(Principled Jouster) Do what your brother suggested and take your win. He has years of experience and knows best.
No need to clown on a guy who's already down.

op

You follow your brothers advice and never take your horse above a canter. On the first round you aim your lance to glace off Sibil's shield, and as predicted he cannot reciprocate the blow. His aim goes wide and for a moment you worry it will hit your horse. But ultimately, his lance never makes it across the tilt. In the second round Sibil attempts to prop his lance with his shield. Once your lance makes contact however, he can no longer balance it and his aim goes wide again. After the third round ends, you have managed to gain a few points while your opponent doesn't get even have one. Its not what you would call high quality jousting.

What surprises you however, is despite the poor display from your opponent and the timid approach on your end. The crowd cheers on all the same. This leads to sudden realization that the vast majority of the audience either does not understand what they are watching, or simply doesn't care. They are here for the spectacle. The only ones who really care about the finer points of jousting are your fellow jousters, the judges over in the booth, and possibly a few of the nobles. How exactly you feel about this new understanding of the world will keep you up for many nights.

After the joust, you take your horse over to Sibil to see how he is faring. His brothers and servants work quickly to take him off the horse and back into his pavilion. He doesn't respond too much to your presence beyond lifting his hand in a short wave. One of his older brothers however, does take the time to thank you for your discretion. Stating that house Gelt will not forget it. Ultimately, Wiliiam's advice was sound. Its not just about winning, but the way you do it too. You do not only Joust for yourself, but for your house as well. It is the unfortunate truth that politics are never too far from the tilt...

--

There are three jousts that are to take place before you mount up again, giving you a good two hours to explore the grounds and talk with friends. There are many stalls that opened up today that were not here a week ago. Grilled sea food mostly, but also forest game. But some puppet shows, and even an gypsy pavilion has been set up. It may be interesting to visit it before they are chased off by the clergy. Yet before any of that, you decide to stick around and see the next joust. After all, the winner will be your next opponent. Perhaps there is something you can gain from watching their technique.

The first jouster is a young lad name Lybell, you can't recall from what house exactly. No one expected him to get so far in the tournament. His small size and slim frame have led to many jokes that he perhaps practices his jousting in books! Much to his credit however, he is still in the tournament while his critics are not. His accuracy with the lance is on point and his small size allows for much faster acceleration. Hs opponent however, everyone expected to reach the final round. Lesale, of house Welffj, may be the biggest man you have every met. Sometimes, that's all you need to win. You wouldn't be surprised if despite a points advantage for Lybell, Lesale simply ends up dismounting the small rider and winning outright. Only time can tell.

"Care to make it interesting?", coming from your left you are approached by a well dressed man adorned with too much jewellery.

"Care to make what interesting?"

He smirks and tugs his long mustache, "I know whats on your mind boy, I can tell by the look of you. You think you know who is going to win this next round, well perhaps your advanced knowledge of the joust can win you some coin?"

This man is taking bets for the nobles, and probably making good money doing it professionally. He has pegged you as a potential client.

>What do?
-(Honourable Knight) Gambling is considered sinful behaviour, you shall remain chaste!
-(Principled Jouster) Lybell will win because his speed is superior! Technique always wins out over simple brawn.
-(Blackguard Duellist) Lesale will win, might makes right! At the end of the day, the force behind the lance is the most important factor.
-write in: No write ins for the first few posts.

Anonymous

>>5972723
>(Principled Jouster) Lybell will win because his speed is superior! Technique always wins out over simple brawn.

>>5972723
>-(Blackguard Duellist) Lesale will win, might makes right! At the end of the day, the force behind the lance is the most important factor.
Bigger man will probably win.

>>5972723

->(Principled Jouster) Lybell will win because his speed is superior! Technique always wins out over simple brawn.

“Lybell’s technique is superior, gamesman. He’ll be much faster off the start, and I think he has the advantage here.”

>>5972723
>-(Honourable Knight) Gambling is considered sinful behaviour, you shall remain chaste!

>Blackguard/Lesalle

I'm intrigued by the gyppos

>>5972723
>-(Principled Jouster) Lybell will win because his speed is superior! Technique always wins out over simple brawn.

Doesn't matter how much force is behind a lance if you can't deliver it.

op

“Lybell is sure to win, I will bet on technique any day before brute strength.” You reach into your pouch and withdraw the few pieces of silver currently available to you. As you drop the coins into the man’s empty palm, his fingers close greedily over them.

“Well chosen sire, come see me to collect your winnings after the joust.” He speaks as if it's a sure thing, he has all the fate in the world in your choice.

–

From your position in the stands, you watch as the two jousters set themselves on opposite ends of the tilt. Coming early has its privileges, and you have been rewarded with front row seats to your competition. Lybell on one end looks like a picturesque knight. His armor is modern and polished, while his white horse matches the gold and blue embroidery of his house. On the other end Lesale mounts his dark chestnut stallion. In contrast to his opponent, his armor is older and gothic. A red boar runs across an otherwise plain black shield. It is not uncommon for jousting armor to have removable pieces such as dragons and other trinkets for dressage. But the gargoyle holding tight to Lesales helmet seems to actually be part of the armor itself! The massive knight is such an imposing figure, you quickly worry if perhaps you had bet away your coinage too soon.

As the trumpets sound, Lybell finds his courage and charges to meet Lesale somewhere in the middle. You are on the edge of your seat, sure that this first round will spell out how the rest will go. Right before the two knights connect, Lybell suddenly adjusts his position and slightly shifts his weight to the opposite side!! His plan is to confuse Lesale, and force a glancing blow while he scores a direct hit!(11 vs 14) It… doesn't work. The gamble is clever, but Lesale didn't get this far on brute power alone. He adjusts his aim and almost knocks the boy out of his seat. As their lances shatters and the two men make their way to the other end, it is clear Lesale had the better exchange. Should the plot have worked, Lybell would have looked like a genius. If it had worked.

(5 vs 5) The second round is more rudimentary. Both knights charge down the lane, and both knights score good hits. None walk away with more points then the other. If the final round ends the same, Lesale will simply win on points. You are sure Lybell will try something, and eagerly await to see the trump card. The final trumpets sound and the jousters are off. Just as you expected, the young man suddenly explodes his horse forward. He held back this speed during the first two rounds in order to surprise his opponent in the final! Lybell scores a direct hit while Lesale struggles to find a good hit himself!

(9 vs 20)However… Force applies both ways. The faster he charges his horse, the more force he will generate when his shield connects with Lesales' lance. In an almost commercial fashion, Lybell is dismounted from his horse. Suddenly free of a rider, his horse continues to gallop past the pavilions, while Lybell finds himself thrown just under your feet.

Quickly, you and an older knight nearby jump over the stands to help the lad. As the first two on the scene, you remove his helmet and support his head while the older knight checks his awareness.He does this by having him follow his finger, and asking him simple questions. Despite the distance of the fall, Lysall seems more confused than injured. When not following the knight’s finger his blue eyes dart around trying to comprehend where he is. More people flock around the boy and start giving advice about if he should, or shouldn't be sat up.

From beyond the crowd, you hear a mocking laugh coming from Lesale who has trotted his horse over to gloat. His laughter is so loud and horse, that you wonder if his mount was joining in. “Har Har Har, Jousting is for ‘men’. Fancy ‘boys’, from fancy houses are better off on their backs. Har Har Har”. Smug in his wit, he trots off. While still trying to understand exactly what Lesale was trying to say, you feel a metal hand on your knee.

Seeming to have recognized you, Lybell brushes his golden locks aside and asks a favor “Do NOT let the oaf reach the finals.”

~~

Having been relieved of your coinage, you wander the tournament grounds in an attempt to clear your head. Without your horse and armor, you are afforded a high degree of anonymity and are left unmolested. There is one in the crowd who does recognize you however. Holding a small festival flag, your friend Anton waves the orange color of your house in your face. His attempt at an apology. He was supposed to be here already.

“I hear you won your match, well done lad knew you had it in you. Didn’t need me at all.” He puts his arm around your shoulder and joins you on your walk. When he gets the chance, he finds a place to lodge the tiny flag into and discard it.

“Not much of a win I'm afraid. Turns out the rumors were true and Sibil was too injured to joust.”

“Not that it stopped you from skewering the poor lad. They say you savaged him!” A hefty accusation the you quickly deny.

“Nonsense, I just tipped his shield, what else was I to do? Who is saying I savaged him?”

“The ladies of the court, I'm afraid. They are calling you a scoundrel.” Anton seems amused by the whole thing but it's not the kind of attention you want.

“Bah, let the hens cluck.”

Before your mood can sour, Anton motions wide with his hand and changes the subject.
 “If I knew they planned to go all out, I would have tried harder to stay in the tournament.” Like any well to do noblemen his age, Anton is expected to practice the Joust. Only as much as he has too however, he much prefers the sword. He is your principal jousting partner however, and promised to be here for moral support.

>What do?
-(Honourable Knight) Time to find those ladies and explain your side of things! It would not do to be labelled as blackguard.
-(Principled Jouster)Have Anton treat you to something at the fair as an apology for being late. Perhaps get your fortune read.
-(Blackguard Duellist) Maybe your time would be better spent finding an edge against your next opponent. Even if you and Anton have to manufacture one.
-write in: No write-ins for the first few posts.

Anonymous

>>5973478
>(Honourable Knight) Time to find those ladies and explain your side of things! It would not do to be labelled as blackguard.
Those ladies don't know what savaged is.

>>5973478
-(Principled Jouster)Have Anton treat you to something at the fair as an apology for being late. Perhaps get your fortune read.

>>5973478

>-(Principled Jouster)Have Anton treat you to something at the fair as an apology for being late. Perhaps get your fortune read.

The gossip is meaningless, I’m more upset that we lost our winnings…

>>5973478
>(Principled Jouster)Have Anton treat you to something at the fair as an apology for being late. Perhaps get your fortune read.

>>5973478
>-(Honourable Knight) Time to find those ladies and explain your side of things! It would not do to be labelled as blackguard.

Wasting time with the distractions of the faire will not help our house. Ensure our reputation is spotless!

op

You wish he didn't say anything at all, but letting sleeping dogs lie has never been in Anton's nature. Your heart pulls you to explain yourself to the court ladies before a real rumor takes off. But your brain reassures you that rumors are for the winter months, when no one has anything to do but gossip. Now it is spring, and people are tired of talking. This will blow over on its own, surely. Additionally, just the thought of AGAIN having to chase those hens around apologizing for something you didn't do puts you off from the whole thing. Instead you will enjoy some time with your friend.

"So, how about some meat then?" suggests Anton "I'm in the mood for something freshly caught and roasted. The more recently it was alive the better." Anton licks his lips and pats his stomach.

Well, no. You can't do that. It wouldn't be good for you to joust on a full stomach. You need to stay alert and hungry.

"All right, how about a drink then?"

That's even worse! You can drink to celebrate after you won first place!

"No drinking and no eating? What is a man to do at a fair if he can't do neither the former nor the latter?" The question started rhetoric but after a moment became genuine. What does a man do at a fair when he can't eat or drink?

You float an idea Anton's way. "We could perhaps…” “If he is so inclined…” “Just as an Idea..."

"Out with it man!"

"Perhaps we can visit the gypsy tent and get a fortune?". Antons cringes at the notion, as expected. His reply comes after he weighs his words.

"You know I don't take well to that kind of thing. Anything else?"

"There is nothing else! Don't tell me you would rather take in a puppet show with the children?" You already knew his exit strategy, and have deftly blocked his escape. "Besides, you promised to be here in the morning to give a hand. You can consider us square after."

"Fine."

~~

Gypsies mostly come from the south, where once stood the proud kingdom of Uurlinia. Nowadays, they are a vassal state to overseas powers. Westerners, and easterners, from across the sea mingling together. Displaced by war, some have bred into a melting pot of nomadic peoples. Some say they steal children, others say they are just refugees, everyone has an opinion. You have always been thought to judge people based on their character. So you attempt to give them the benefit of the doubt, despite never actually having interacted with them. Outside the tent, a small brown skinned boy beckons you forward and ushers you inside just as a peasant couple leave.

In the interior of the gypsy tent there is a foreboding atmosphere, the insides are dark and stop any sunlight from entering. There is a smell of incense and smoke, and in the center of the room is a table with a glowing glass orb. The boy bids you to take a seat before opening his palm to take payment from Anton. A cursory glance at your friend sees that his lip is stiff and he holds his coin purse tightly as he deals with the boy.

When you and Anton are seated, a woman draped in purple enters from the other side of the tent. She is exotic to say the least, wider in all aspects and much more hairy than any women you have ever seen. The closer she gets the more you are sure she is not all together human, but instead some kind of rodent woman! Patches of fur dot her otherwise human body, and golden eyes sit on the opposite sides of a rather long pointy nose.

"Greetings valued customers! Have you come to peek at what is in your future?"

Anton doesn't say anything, while you are simply engrossed in the act she puts on. First, she proves her mystical abilities by making coins, cards, and even a knife disappear into thin air, only to summon them back at her choosing! After, she shows you her grasp of the future, by delving into your mind and accurately guessing the cards you picked from a deck! Just like a wizard in the stories, fantastic! The woman surly has a grasp of the hidden world...

"It's black magic, it's not natural". Anthon whispers under his breath, seeming to have shrunk into his seat.

The rodent woman does not let him off the hook. "I assure you my powers are used only to do good... 'Anton'".

Without knowing his name she guessed it! Anton is not as impressed as you are, and simply stands up before walking right out of the tent. You on the other hand have more courage. You do your best not to think of a naked maiden and embarrass yourself in front of the mind reader! You fail!

"You are braver than your friend, there is a great destiny about you... So much so that your name is obscure to me... I see a knightly figure, he stands where you should be... his name starts with He-Io-Wi-"

"William!" you finish her sentence "My brother William, yes we have switched roles. He is squireing for me today reversing out roles."

"Yes- yes I see. It is so clear now.. There is power in names. Reveal to me o one with a great destiny. What is thy venerable name?"

>What do?
-(Honourable Knight) Fredrik. It was your grandfather's name, now it is your name.
-(Principled Jouster) Gustoff. Named after a heroic figure, you share this name with many in the realm.
-(Blackguard Duelist) Sunny. Your mother gave you a name that would bring light into her life.
-write in: Feel free to write in a name! Tie that name with what you think it's best aligned with, knight, jouster, etc.

Anonymous

>>5974281
>(Blackguard Duelist) Sunny. Your mother gave you a name that would bring light into her life.

>>5974281
>-(Principled Jouster)
Guts or Gotz

>>5974281

>(Principled Jouster) Gustoff. Named after a heroic figure, you share this name with many in the realm.

>>5974303

I like "Guts" as a joke from our brother - as a kid, we once planned an ambush, dumping chicken innards on his head in retribution for one of his less-clever pranks...

>>5974281
>-(Honourable Knight) Fredrik. It was your grandfather's name, now it is your name.

We are an honourable Knight in a line of Honourable Knights. It only makes sense to be named appropriately.

>>5972455
qtg? im new to this board, please enlighten me.


Do Your Best Quest #171

Last time, you innocently baked a cake and shared it with everyone, and for reasons out of your control, you turned into a sleazy manager! Yes, you screwed your secretary, your top talent, and your competition in that order! Doesn’t matter if you thought they enjoyed it, you thought wrong, if not, why are you being visited by the ghost of your former biggest star?! Now it’s time to eat the consequences of your actions in this fever dream. Even Philonune is ready!

“H-Hello, Manager? You’re not busy anymore, right?” The spirit of Debbie floats awkwardly above the bed, she’s slowly floating closer and closer, almost imperceptible to the naked eye, like a bad screensaver that seems frozen after resetting your phone.

“Huh?” Oh no! You only have energy to do random grunts like an NPC outside of cutscenes.

“I-It’s me! Debbie! Y-You don’t seem busy but I don’t want to bother you either way. I-It’s not to say that sleeping isn’t important, it is! And if you’re tired, it’s a must! I-I don’t think I am more important than your sleep either. I’d be really upset if you don’t take care of yourself. Uhm, maybe I should help you doze off to get the point across?” Debbie doesn’t know if she should keep talking or not. “Yeah, that’s it! Johnny, do you want me to sing you a lullaby? Maybe you’re into ocean sounds, ah-phew… ah…phew…” Debbie starts blowing air. “I-It’s almost like I’m whistling like an old teapot, that’s no good. Should I go for a nursery rhyme perhaps? Your ears always perk up when someone starts humming. But I only know 18 of them, I don’t think they’re enough to help a grown man sleep. I got it! A bedtime story! These bad boys can even make a child me fall asleep! Why did I call them bad boys? They’re good boys, they help kids! Should I tell you my personal favorite? Hmm… Decisions.”

Did this ghost forget she was here to warn you about the upcoming spirits? Does she know her role? Your own hallucination wants to make you sleepy, what does that say about you?

What do you do?

>Tuck in bed and wait for Debbie to come to a decision on her own.
>Ask if she died and came to haunt you. You thought she was a nice blueberry…
>Roll over to ignore Debbie.
>Tap the side of your bed and invite spirit Debbie to cuddle.
>Tell her to reprise her role correctly! She’s fucking up the story!
>Write In.

>>5971498

Information:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/QM91m
Discord: https://discord.gg/AmjbaTR
Archives: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.c<wbr>om/qstarchive.html?searchall=do+you<wbr>r+best+quest (Rough Grammar ‘till half of the 9th Thread)
Incomplete Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/<wbr>1-nIx_dvaNCPQ7zLg2BK_ucCyGNM741kAAN<wbr>xqXj7hdDs/edit?usp=sharing

Votes:

Votes are counted until 25 minutes have passed. This rule doesn't apply to the last reply of the day.
Votes that require a dice roll are counted until 15 minutes have passed, so we can speed up the process. Rolls are counted until 10 minutes have passed, so be prepared!

(NEW) Dice Mechanic:

We always roll 1d100s!
Since most people weren’t happy with the system of averaging top four rolls, we’re using best of 2/3/4 depending on the attribute a prompt requires. If Johnny is a genius and it’s a Knowledge based roll, he gets more rolls (Max. 7)! If he sucks, he gets less dice (Min. 2)!

When asked for rolls, I will specify how many you’re going to get. Rolling begins after it’s asked.

Rolling 100 is a critical! There are no Critical Failures anymore!

The difficulty of the roll is tied with the effectiveness of the action. In other words, the harder the option the better the result!

Don’t forget that at the end of the day, this is a story-driven quest! What the prompts are describing is more important than the difficulty of the rolls, for results in a fight.

Again, rolls are only counted when they are posted within ten minutes of being asked, so watch out!

>>5971498
>>Ask if she died and came to haunt you. You thought she was a nice blueberry…

>>5971498
>>Tell her to reprise her role correctly! She’s fucking up the story!

>>5971498
Not a regular player, but I popped in to compliment the QM for that sickass cover art.

>Tap the side of your bed and invite spirit Debbie to cuddle.

>>5971498
>Tell her to reprise her role correctly! She’s fucking up the story!

“Debs…” You struggle to say in your deathbed.

“S-SORRY! I should’ve asked!” Debbie feels bad for not taking your feelings into account. “What would you like me to do?”

“Do it… right…” You whisper.

“Do what exactly?” The Blueberry is confused as she floats near.

“Your role…” You’re losing your ability to speak with each word, you have to use them wisely.

“My role? You want me to sing?” Debbie gets the wrong idea like expected.

“No…” You slowly shake your head.”For the story…”

“What story?” Debbie is looking around. “You want me to read you a fairytale?” Her eyes start sparkling. She loves bedtime stories.

“You’re my former business partner that came here to warn me about the visit of 3 specters unless I change my ways!” You shout with every ounce of energy left in your body. “That…” You’re super weakened now.

“Oh.” Debbie didn’t know what she was doing. “F-Former? A-Are we not working together anymore…?” The Blueberry’s heart shatters.

“Debbie, you’re dead, what do you want me to do?” You raise an eyebrow. Okay, maybe you have more energy than you think, but you need to get annoyed or something to find it. Maybe a strong emotion is necessary?

“Oh! This? I’m not dead, but I can tell why you got the wrong idea.” Debbie passed her arm through her body. “Our partnership is as strong as ever! I need your help still, manager! I’m sure you don’t want to hear that before going to sleep though. I’m going to change the topic. I’ll humor you!” Debbie clears her throat. “You want me to reprise the role from Carlos Dickens Wright’s famous novel?”

You nod.

“Woah, you always make even the simplest of visits so entertaining. Give me a second.” Debbie gets into character. Her powerful glare is full of anger, sorrow, and contempt. “You’ll be haunted by three spirits tonight. I’m here to warn you that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate. A chance and hope of my procuring, Johnny Ando. Farewell…” You’re surprised that she has the story memorized.

Debbie disappears through the ground…

…

Then she shows up again but wearing a ridiculous costume, mustache included. If you’re not hallucinating at this moment, it means your life is way too stupid even for you to handle.

“…I’m the ghost of Christmas past. Hohoho!” Debbie is playing a new character!

What do you do?!

>“Debbie, you can’t play more than one character.” Complain and complain.
>Play along. Life is a disaster, why not watch what else it has for you?
>“Debbie, someone else is coming. Hide!” You hear someone knocking on the door!
>Write In.

>>5971663
>>“Debbie, someone else is coming. Hide!” You hear someone knocking on the door!

>>5971663
>“Debbie, someone else is coming. Hide!” You hear someone knocking on the door

>>5971663
>“Debbie, someone else is coming. Hide!” You hear someone knocking on the door!

Suddenly, the door is being knocked, you don’t remember taking the card key, in fact, the others couldn’t have left to the other room without it. Regardless, this is trouble and it needs to be confronted.

“Debbie, look out, someone else is coming. Hide!” You exclaim as your tiredness has become more of a plot device than something you can explain.

“Don’t you want me to check who it is?” Debbie gets closer to whisper so you don’t have to raise your voice.

You slowly shake your head, your exhaustion is appearing once again!

“I’ll be here if you need me, just call out to me and I’ll be back in a jiffy! Aweee!” Debbie sinks back into the ground.

Muffled sounds that are similar to your name are heard outside, you can’t tell who it is or what this person is exactly saying. You didn’t know how thick the walls and even the door is, that explains why nobody knew what you were doing in the other room. Fancy hotels are amazing! Not like that terrible haunted motel with their stupid cow people…

Now the issue is that you have the mobility of an overweight moose and Ajna’s stamina at the moment. You’re tired and comfy, whoever it is, you need to communicate with them to stop making noise, maybe use your phone? Or let them go because they should assume that you’re asleep at the moment.

What do you do?

>Call Emily’s phone. You feel it’s her.
>Call Vortexia’s phone. You feel it’s her.
>Call your ex-wife’s phone. Who else could it be? She never respects your boundaries.
>Wait it out and do nothing. You’re playing the part for the first specter.
>Write In.

>>5971729
>>Call your ex-wife’s phone. Who else could it be? She never respects your boundaries.

>>5971731
+1
Damn it Carol, this is why you are DIVORCED!

>>5971729
>>Wait it out and do nothing. You’re playing the part for the first specter.

There’s only one person in proximity capable of being this obnoxious at this time of night and you divorced her. You bounced back for a little bit, but she wasn’t happy after it, you wonder what she wants. You struggle to pick up the phone and put the call on speaker. It was the right decision, because the beating on the door stops.

“How did you know it was me?” Carol wonders immediately.

“What do you want…?” You sound tired, not entertaining her question.

“Answer me first.” Carol is one paranoid girl.

“Because you’re you.” You don’t know how to make this sound not backhanded, so you’re not going to try.

“Open up, we need to talk.” Carol demands it!

“You have the key though…” You yawn.

“No, I don’t. We put it in a cage on the ceiling while we were watching a TV series. We’re supposed to do a trivia match about it after we’re done, but I already watched it, so I left a decoy.” Carol doesn’t know why she’s explaining, but she needed to vent. “You know, I’m starting to think that Emily acts all serious and efficient to manipulate people to follow her stupid ideas. Anyway, open up. I don’t like being in the hallway.”

“But I’m comfy…” You sink deeper into the bed.

“Are you going to leave the love of your life out in the cold?” Carol acts melodramatically.

“Yeah, we divorced. That’s the point.” You don’t love her anymore…

“We bounced back.” Carol points out that not all the love died.

“And you bounced out.” You remind her that she killed the love.

“Don’t be a tool.” Carol has no other option but to be a Carol.

“I can’t, I don’t want to be useful. I’m too tired.” You are not leaving this bed.

“I’ll sing that dumb song you like, that should help revitalize you.” Carol begins ‘whisper singing’ immediately.

It’s not great, but you feel a tiny bit better enough to move your muscles. Seems like your hunch from before was right, being annoyed does grant you strength. You open the door for her.

“Good.” Carol hangs up.

Since this dumbass stopped singing, you collapse on top of her. Unlike the rest of her family, she doesn’t have the attributes to make your fall any less uncomfortable. Now you’re outside, on the ground AND uncomfy. Great.

The idol doesn’t cause any noise to keep the secrecy aside from some grumbling, she uses her entity to drag you back inside the room and onto the bed. Then she drops by your side.

“…You’re way too heavy.” Carol’s grumbling continues.

“Sorry.” You worm back into the bedsheets, then yawn. And at that moment you realize…

Debbie is floating behind Carol… You told her to hide, what is she doing?!

>>5971862

What do you do?

>Pantomime to Debbie to hide again while pretending nothing is wrong.
>“Help me out. Is Debbie’s spirit here or am I hallucinating?” Address the Blueberry in the room.
>“You know I really like your family.” Tease your ex-wife.
>“What do you need?” Be useful.
>“I let you in, but I’m too tired to talk…” Be honest about yourself.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we return on Monday!)

>>5971863
>>“You know I really like your family.” Tease your ex-wife.

>>5971863
>“You know I really like your family.” Tease your ex-wife.

>>5971863
>“You know I really like your family.” Tease your ex-wife
More sass. Really annoy her.

Do you have the reasonable amount of energy to both keep up with a conversation, stay awake, and smoothly deal with Debbie’s shenanigans? Of course not, and you’re not going to try. In fact, with the little energy you have left, you’re going to mess with Carol, because why not? It’ll be funny.

“Hey, don’t get comfortable, I mean it. We’re going to talk.” Carol wants to get this done no matter what.

“You know I really like your family.” You begin teasing.

“Don’t start with that.” Carol frowns.

“But they were really nice.” You remember them fondly.

“Are you that hungry for attention? I’d say you’re worse than Emily, but she threw her clothes away for a glance from you.” Carol acts disgusted.

“That doesn’t change the fact that they were lovely.” You know that’s the truth.

“Ugh, get over yourself.” Carol rolls her eyes. “You sound like a big loser. Is this the first time anyone’s flirted with you? No? Then stop.”

“I’m not used to it.” You shake your head.

“Yeah, suuure. You got us all in our underwear, dude. What do you think that was? An extreme way to do a tax return?” Carol doesn’t like you playing a fool. “Don’t act like a hag gets you going.”

“She’s beautiful though, and be more respectful to your mom.” You point out that Grace has aged gracefully!

“Okay, dad, I didn’t want to confirm your fetishes.” Carol shows her tongue. “She’s not going to throw away her marriage to bang you of all people. Get real. You can’t throw yourself at any chick that gives you attention. It’s pathetic.”

“I mean, it’s not everyone…” You shake your head.

“Are you thinking about my sister? MY sister?” Carol is shocked. “Oh my god, get some standards.” Huh, you thought she was going somewhere else with this.

“What? Are you jealous?” You slowly raise an eyebrow. This trick never cost you before.

“You’re not a catch if you spread yourself out like influenza. I bet I could have you in the palm of my hand if I wanted to.” Carol sneers. “But that’s not what I’m here for.”

Carol wants to change topics, but do you want these claims to go unaddressed? What will Debbie think about you if she saw you get verbally abused without anything to say back?

What do you do?

>“What do you want to talk about then?” Go with what Carol wants to do.
>“You bet? Then try me. Do your worst.” Be defiant.
>“You’re so cute when you’re jealous.” Tease and tease!
>Write In.

(Only reply of the day, we return tomorrow!)

>>5973323
>>“You bet? Then try me. Do your worst.” Be defiant.

>>5973323
>>Write In.
Conversation taking... too much.. time.
drift back off to sleep

>>5973323
>“You bet? Then try me. Do your worst.” Be defiant.

>>5973323
>“You bet? Then try me. Do your worst.” Be defiant.
When will we have Do Your Worst Quest?

>>5973338
Rise tried that for chapter 28 and got her butt kicked.

“You bet? Then try me. Do your worst.” You act defiantly! Who does she think she is? This entire night, you have been one step ahead of her!

“Look. Right now, it is not important and—”

“Coward.” You cough.

“…You’re barely awake.” Carol knows this is precious time.

“Don’t run your mouth if you can’t back it up.” With this newfound courage, you confirm your annoyance makes you less sleepy!

“I-I had it with you! I’m going to make you kneel for me, then you’re going to bark all the answers I want!” Carol gets so incredibly upset so easily.

You don’t think you’re good at pushing her buttons, but she’s just that annoyed about everything that has happened tonight, and she blames you all for it!

“And how are you planning to do that? If you start acting all cute now, I’m not going to buy it.” You’re pretty confident.

“Can I trick you? Of course I can. Are you worth the effort? Nah. I’m gonna make things simple for me and me only.” Carol bounces out of the bed…

…Towards the cake leftovers. She cuts a slice for you!

“What are you doing?” You don’t like where this is going.

“Open up, glasses. I know the only thing you can move is that mouth. There’s an airplane coming, you loser! And it needs to land safely!” Carol knows you don’t have a way to escape and is going to take advantage of that fact!

You must outmaneuver her before things get dicey!

What do you do?!

>Tell Debbie to interfere on your behalf.
>Screw it, eat the cake.
>“Look over there!” Use the oldest trick in the book to distract Carol, grab the cake, and feed it to her!
>“Carol, don’t destroy the sanctity of the cake! You must stop now!” Try diplomacy like a moron.
>Write In.

(Okay, now it's the last reply of the day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>5973366
>>“Look over there!” Use the oldest trick in the book to distract Carol, grab the cake, and feed it to her!

>>5973366
>“Look over there!” Use the oldest trick in the book to distract Carol, grab the cake, and feed it to her!

>>5973366
>"Only if you eat half of the slice." Crack a tired smile. "Or are you worried you'll lose to me again? Even when I'm stuck in bed barely able to stand?" Dare her to match you!

“Look over there!” You point at Ghost Debbie to distract Carol!

“Nothing can distract me, Phil Noon.” Carol has her eyes on the game. Professional singers are hard to throw off! Maintaining their concentration is part of their job!

“Fool.” Mid-sentence, you parry the upcoming fork with one hand, and with the other, you take a piece of the cake and launch it inside her mouth just like Kata did to Vivi! Her mouth opening is the only thing you need!

 “What the—?!” Carol says before her mouth gets full! She eats it. The flavor is just too good to deny. “W-What the hell is wrong with you?!” She starts suffering from the side effects.

“…You started it.” You lie on the bed like you are ill. These might be your final words.

“W-We can go over all of this again…!” Carol doesn’t like the consequences. “Fix me now before it gets any worse!” She leaves the slice of cake by the side, jumps on the bed by your legs in the perfect position for a massage. She still thinks this is a thing and the other kinky stuff you did was a special treatment. “Do it now!”

But before you can say a word, the door gets knocked, the second spirit of the night is making their appearance and you must act before things get dicier!

“Ignore them…” Carol gets twitchy with anger and sweetness. She flip-flops for attention after taking her hoodie off.

The knocking doesn’t die down though!

What do you do?!

>Hide Carol under your bedsheets. Act like a granny from that fairytale about the dumb fuck in a red cloak getting eaten by the cunning wolf. Also, you’re pregnant. Being tired makes you dumb…
>It’s probably Emily, call them on the phone.
>It’s probably Clutz, call them on the phone.
>Decide to ignore it and massage the Carol.
>Pretend to go to sleep. Ignore your problems.
>Write In.

>>5974131
>>Hide Carol under your bedsheets. Act like a granny from that fairytale about the dumb fuck in a red cloak getting eaten by the cunning wolf. Also, you’re pregnant. Being tired makes you dumb…

>>5974131
>Hide Carol under your bedsheets. Act like a granny from that fairytale about the dumb fuck in a red cloak getting eaten by the cunning wolf. Also, you’re pregnant. Being tired makes you dumb…
>It’s probably Clutz, call them on the phone.

>>5974131
>Pretend to go to sleep. Ignore your problems.

>>5974135
+1
Be sure to grope Carol's ass while we hide her

“Nope, you’ll have to hide.” You have no other option but to do something that some bad-intentioned people would call ‘stupid.’ You push Carol up with your legs into the air, then move your bedsheets over her spinning body to hide her from view! “Stay quiet.”

“Mhmhm?!” Carol’s muffled voice sounds like complaining, you’re glad that you can’t hear her. She struggles like a ghost forced to face gravity. You pet her to calm her down, but you think you’re touching the wrong curvature. You’ll ignore it, the call must happen now.

You assume the girl outside is Clutz because – if Carol was right – the TV trivia was Emily’s idea, so she’d be the last one to ditch it. With your phone in hand, you dial her number.

“Clutz, dear, are you the one knocking on the door?” You ask with a shriveling voice.

“Manager? Why do you sound like a granny? Do you need some water?” Clutz sounds concerned. The noise by the door stops.

“I’m good, sweetie, just a little tired. Thank you for asking.” You continue your charade. “You’re the one outside, right?”

“Mind opening the door then…?” Clutz doesn’t believe you’re fine. I mean, you might be a little crazy, but not nuts.

“I can’t, dear, these old knees are creaking.” You retort.

“Stop that, you’re not old.” Clutz dryly retorts. “I’ll open it myself.” And in the blink of an eye, the door opens.

“…How did you do that?” You don’t think she stole the card key, right? Your villainous idol couldn’t do something so dastardly.

“I used the Single-Sided Jiggler.” Vortexia shows her lock-picking tool. “…When did you become so fat?”

Vortexia points at the round Carol-shaped belly you have under your sheets.

…

Debbie’s ghost is gone from the room by the way. Regardless, you need to respond.

How do you respond?

>“I ate more of the cake and this is what happened.” Come up with a wild story.
>“I’m hiding Carol under my sheets.” Admit your crimes.
>“I’m cosplaying as my favorite teacher.” Channel your inner Nina.
>“I have a pregnancy fetish.” Say something strange so she stops asking questions.
>“To see you better.” That’s how the story goes, right? She’s Clumsy Red Riding Hood, right?
>“Hold on, why bother to do the TV show trivia if you could barge in like that?” Question Vortexia’s thought process.
>Write In.

>>5974208
>>“To see you better.” That’s how the story goes, right? She’s Clumsy Red Riding Hood, right?

>>5974208
>“To see you better.” That’s how the story goes, right? She’s Clumsy Red Riding Hood, right?

“Come closer…” You sympathetically ask. “I can’t speak too loudly…” That’s not how it goes, your entire life you wanted to play this role, and you’re fucking up these lines. This is why nobody loves you.

“Sure...” After closing the door, Vortexia steps forward without a hitch, placing her phone and tool to the side. She’s worried about your health, but her instincts tell her to be wary. “Can you answer me now?”

“To see you better.” You reply like a nice grandma would.

“To see me better, that’s what you said?” Clutz asks.

“Yes.” You cough since you’re sick. Such amazing character acting.

“Even if it doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m asking?” Clutz raises an eyebrow.

“That’s right.” You act so well as a fake granny that she might be thinking you’re not actually an old woman!

“Right…” Vortexia looks around like she’s trying to find a gas leak that could explain your behavior. “And why is your new gut moving like that? Having a stomachache?”

>>5974246

“To hear you better.” You’re so convincing now in your role as the Big Badass Wolf. You’re crushing it.

“Noted…” The Clumsy Red Riding Hood isn’t buying it. “And why is it moaning like YUNG-P?” Vortexia pinches your tummy, Carol shrieks in pain.

Huh… maybe this is the part of the story that you should divert from for your own good.

How do you respond?

>“So you can eat this better!” Give her the leftover cake that Carol tried to give you!
>“There’s no one here, Clutz.” Turn Carol invisible, then take the bedsheets off.
>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Get serious for no reason to gain time for the final ghost to show up.
>“Please, play along and I’ll answer your questions later.” You NEED this play to go right.
>“Look! It’s Ambition-P’s ghost!” Point at her wherever she is!
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>5974247
>>“So you can eat this better!” Give her the leftover cake that Carol tried to give you!

>>5974247
>So you can eat this better!” Give her the leftover cake that Carol tried to give you!

>>5974247
>“So you can eat this better!” Give her the leftover cake that Carol tried to give you!

>>5974247
>>“There’s no one here, Clutz.” Turn Carol invisible, then take the bedsheets off.

>>5974247
>“There’s no one here, Clutz.” Turn Carol invisible, then take the bedsheets off.

“So you can eat this better!” You launch a piece of the cake towards Vortexia’s mouth! You were hiding the plate under the sheets because you didn’t have the time to put it somewhere else.

“What are you tal—“ Before Clutz can finish her sentence, the dessert lands in her yapper. She enjoys it. “—king about…?”

“Huh…” You say. No big reaction from her, not even the slightest of changes.

“I get what you were going for.” Vortexia understands the last bit of your nonsense.

“Really?” Your eyes would be sparking with glee if your eyelids didn’t feel heavy.

“Not the big bad wolf bit though.” Clutz shakes her head.

“I’m not. I’m your granny.” You deadpan.

“You think I’m Little Red Riding Hood?” Clutz raises an eyebrow.

“Perhaps.” You cross your arms.

“I get the whole picture now. I don’t understand why it’s happening though.” Clutz shuts down the idea that she understands your nonsense on a deeper level.

“Aw…” You’re disappointed.

“And it doesn’t explain why YUNG-P is hiding here either.” Vortexia pulls the sheets from you and destroys any type of coziness in the room like an actual villain!

“Brrr…” Carol hides behind you like a cockroach. Well, not exactly, she went under the pillows behind you (Still like a cockroach.)

“Are you delirious?” Vortexia wonders.

“Well, I…” You yawn before you can explain yourself.

“It’s out of tiredness?” Clutz is not showing much emotion. “Did YUNG-P try to take advantage of you?”

“H-He left me like this…!” Carol defends her honor. He needs to fix me again…”

“Shut up.” Clutz tells her off. “Manager, you don’t have to do anything but rest. I got this.” Clutz holds you tenderly. You didn’t realize the moment when the roles changed, but you’re flat on the bed, with Vortexia by your side, caressing your hair. “My biggest fan… Just go to sleep…” She starts humming a soft melody.

Oh god, it’s making you feel really sleepy… Clumsy Red Riding Hood is the nicest…

What do you do?

>“Clutz, the cake is affecting you too. You can’t trick me.” You notice the fever! She can’t trick you!
>Eat Clumsy Red Riding Hood as the legends foretold.
>Oh no! The last ghost’s appearance is about to come: DEATHMILY!
>Sleep. May no one mention the 3rd ghost again.
>Write In.

>>5974894
>>Oh no! The last ghost’s appearance is about to come: DEATHMILY!

>>5974894
>Eat Clumsy Red Riding Hood as the legends foretold.
Kiss her passionately
>Sleep. May no one mention the 3rd ghost again
Rest

>>5974894
>Oh no! The last ghost’s appearance is about to come: DEATHMILY!

>>5974899
We should still kiss her passionately though

As the drowsiness starts affecting whatever is left of your normal senses, a shiver goes down your spine, there’s one special sensory faculty that alerts you of danger, a sixth sense that you personally call Philonune.

“Partner, you can’t sleep now. Something is afoot.” Philonune warns. You wonder why, he’s usually asleep during these kinky moments. There’s nothing sexy about sleeping in a woman’s arms though, it’s therapeutic. You’re losing focus, you must assess the situation.

A beeping sound comes from the lock. The door slowly creeks open. The final specter of the night comes forth, a pouty expression is on her face, covered in blankets like a specter of darkness, Deathmily is ready to rip and destroy.

“I knew you’d be here. You two made a fool out of me!” Emily points at the idols with justifiable anger!

“Oh great, things are escalating again… Agh…” Carol shivers due to the cake's side effects.

“Don’t listen, it’ll be fine.” Claudia wants nothing but for you to have a comfortable sleep.

“What are you doing to him?” Emily steps forwards after closing the door.

“Keep your voice low, he’s trying to sleep.” Clutz whispers loudly.

“You’re taking advantage of him while he’s tired?” Emily lowers her voice but not her fury.

“I’m not. YUNG-P was. I just got here.” Clutz speculates.

“Me? I’m a victim, he fed me more cake…” Carol grits her teeth. “I just wanted to talk, and he did this…”

“Like I’m going to believe that now. I’ll take great pleasure in straightening you out.” Emily doesn’t buy it. “And you? Why are you holding him like that?”

“I’m comforting him since he was distressed.” Clutz kisses the top of your head. “You know I LOVE my fans and my manager is my most special one.”

“…You ate cake too. You’re both contaminated. You need to leave now.” Emily makes the executive decision. “I’ll figure something out.”

“N-Nope, not leaving, I-I need to get cured first.” Carol stands her ground… behind you, and out of sight.

“What’s best for him is for you to stay quiet and allow me to continue.” Vortexia won’t let you go. “He needs to sleep now and you’re making a ruckus.”

“Sorry, I can’t trust you in this state, hand him over.” Emily slowly gets closer like she’s approaching a dangerous animal.
You don’t remember the part where the three ghosts wanted to duke it out among them to get the greedy old man, but you like this new interpretation.

What do you do?

>Stay in Vortexia’s arms.
>Jump into Emily’s arms.
>Place your head on top of Carol’s butt.
>With the little strength that you have, throw cake into Emily’s mouth.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>5974988
>With the little strength that you have, throw cake into Emily’s mouth.

>>5974988
We're going for this contrived threesome anyway, and our choices don't matter much. Nothing to do but all in
>With the little strength that you have, throw cake into Emily’s mouth.

>>5974988
>>With the little strength that you have, throw cake into Emily’s mouth.

Now the only problem with this new interpretation of the text is that this doesn’t seem safe for the girls. You don’t want them to actually fight, either verbally or physically, they all should be friends! Friends who need to tease Carol for being an asshat.

Anyway, your mind is drifting away, the mental mist clouds your thoughts, but you cannot let yourself be taken away without doing something. Philonune is encouraging you into action, but what can you do in this state? You’ll have to channel your last bit of energy, whatever is left in the tank, to perform your final action of the night.

You pull the final third of the slice of cake that is left. Lock on your target: the gap between Emily’s delicious lips. Take a moment to focus. Out of nowhere, a voice instructs you on how to aim. It’s Perfect Billy Buonanotte’s, the member of the Motley Crew you saved a couple of days ago, he’s telling you how to do this. For a moment you wondered why you are hallucinating about him of all people, then you recall he has perfect aim… You apologize for forgetting his gimmick and follow his instructions. And you launch your final strike

“Listen to me, Vortexia. I’m not your enemy, I want the best for—” Emily stops talking when the dessert enters her mouth. She eats it without thinking. “Huh?!” She’s starting to feel the heat. “Where did that come from? Carol?!”

“It wasn’t me!” Carol the Dastardly idol refuses to take responsibility for something she didn’t do.

“Who else could it be? Johnny is asleeeep~.” Emily covers her mouth to stop moaning.

“You’re in no condition to take care of him either.” Clutz smirks.

Emily is right, you’re anything but conscious… You listen to what they are saying, but you can’t internalize it anymore. It’s all noise. Your eyes can only distinguish shadowy figures in the tiny gap between your eyelids, the girls look like the hottest Psychiatrist test. You’re not much longer for this world.

This is the end of a chaotic day…

What do you do?

>Sleep like you’ve been trying to do. You’ll help the girls in the morning.
>Let Tired Johnny take control now. Like, for real. You weren’t 100% silly before. But now? Chains are off.
>Ask Debbie for help. Maybe she can energize you somehow…
>Write In.

>>5975771
>>Let Tired Johnny take control now. Like, for real. You weren’t 100% silly before. But now? Chains are off.

>>5975771
>Let Tired Johnny take control now. Like, for real. You weren’t 100% silly before. But now? Chains are off.
Sillymaxxing.

>>5975820
This entire quest is sillymaxxing start to finish

>>5975828
Johnny Ando is the sillymaxxing king.

Well, that’s it, ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Ando went to sleep without addressing any of the problems that were right in front of his face. The man was far too tired to resolve even one thing in a timely manner. But sleeping always feels good no matter what!

“Y-You can’t go to sleep…!” Carol elbows you from behind to wake you up.

“Huh…?” You say all confused. The system reboot didn’t work properly. You’re a tired man, and odd things happen when you go on like this.

“Don’t do that to him!” Vortexia holds you away from the unlikable Carol.

“How dare you~?!” Emily is upset too. Who would’ve thought her dislike for the idol would’ve helped them be on the same page?

“Don’t worry, everybody! I’m here!” Your tired self exclaims as you stand on the bed. “Now what seems to be the problem?”

“Are you feeling alright, Johnny?” Emily asks because she doesn’t understand what prompted you to stand up.

“I’m fiiiiiine.” You reassure as you yawn. “I’m just a lil’ tired, that’s all.”

“Come back down and rest.” Vortexia wants you back in her arms.

“Screw that. Start massaging me, glasses! I’m all yours!” Carol wants to be cured.

“Now what seems to be the problem?” You ask again for no apparent reason.

“…You already said that.” Carol doesn’t want to be touched anymore.

 “Carol, your petty attitude isn’t welcomed when I’m trying to help.” You frown. “Now what seems to be the problem?”

“I think he lost it.” YUNG-P is the first one to leave you for dead.

“Y-You think so?” Clutz isn’t that sure, aside from being a broken record, there’s nothing out of the ordinary.

“Don’t listen to her, Clumsy Red Riding Hood. Tell me how I can help.” You smile.

“W-What did you call me…?” Vortexia is in shock.

“Carol is right, he has gotten delirious.” Emily can tell immediately.

>>5975886

“What exactly caused this…?” Clutz is really lost about this.

“I can’t say, but the only way to fix this is if you all leave this room now.” Emily says with confidence. “I’ll take care of him.”

“Sounds like a load of bull.” Carol points out.

“I-I’m the most level headed of us all! Just listen to me!” Emily throws a tantrum. “You can’t help in the state you’re in!”

“What’s upsetting you, cute druid?” You ask the Deathmily.

“She’s not listening!” Emily pouts as she points at Carol.

“Ah?!” Carol cowers in fear. “T-The cake already melted her brain! Why is Emily so weak against brainwashing?!”

“What should I do?” You wonder as you stare at Carol.

“Punish her.” Emily wants revenge!

“Lay down.” Vortexia suggests you go back to the realm you were exiled from.

“Help ME!” Carol wants her fix.

Any reasonable thoughts have left. So, yeah, have fun!

What do you do?

>Eat Clumsy Red Riding Hood, punish Carol, and amuse Emily!
>Before making a decision, make some calls. (Write-In.)
>You’re in control! Order them around!
>Cuddle with all of them.
>Ignore them! Create havoc in the world!
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we return Saturday!)

>>5975887
>>Eat Clumsy Red Riding Hood, punish Carol, and amuse Emily!
Spank dat ass

>>5975893
+1
Do the foursome, then collapse into sleep immediately after

>>5975887
>Eat Clumsy Red Riding Hood, punish Carol, and amuse Emily!

>>5975887
>>Ignore them! Create havoc in the world!

[Intermission]

The depressed bear Saraswati is back in the program, the sweatpants, the disheveled hair, the eyebags from weeks without sleeping… She’s a mess! A cute cuddly mess! She can barely refrain herself from squinting with the lights on her, like she has been hibernating for months and was dragged back into society.

“Are we doing the thing…?” The bear slurs her words. She receives some kind of signal to start talking. “MwAAAaaaaAh~, welcome, dear viewers to the program… We’re here to celebrate another labor of love for its excellence… I’m single and I’ll be your host for the evening. Tonight’s show will have a promiscuous man fooling around with multiple girls, wasting everyone’s time in a relationship that will go nowhere… just like mine, millions of years WASTED on a man who can’t trust his wife to save his skin like she has done A BILLION times before, instead deciding to BREAK UP with her so she can be FREE to move on with her life! Doesn’t he know that I want HIM and no one else?! AAAAAH!!! I MISS MY HUSBAND!!!”

Saraswati starts uncontrollably crying. The feed cuts to a technical difficulties screen, pleading the audience for viewing discretion, to have sex responsibly, and to give them the D.

(The rest of the post will be delivered either tomorrow or Monday! Thanks for playing so far and for your patience!)

>>5977208

“There, you don’t have to do anything, anymore.” Vortexia traps you in her arms, head first on her chest. She’s trying to soothe you to sleep again.

…But this time, the big bad wolf attacks! You hold her tight as you start kissing her body from where your head stands towards her neck. Clutz drops flat on her back on the bed, head learning towards the tail end of it. You are on top, then straighten your back to look down on the whimsical idol.

“J-Johnny…!” Clutz never saw this coming, she doesn’t know how to react, the cherriness on her face tells you the side effects from the cake are developing again.

“What do you think you are doing?!” An upset Emily pulls your arm away to draw your attention.

“Sorry, you’re right.” You admit your mistake, then spank Carol! “There, I’m punishing her!”

“AAAAAAH!!!~” Carol moans in pain! “T-This isn’t a massage!”

“No, you fool, you can only kiss me like that!” Emily grabs your face and starts kissing you like you belong to her. “Now make Carol scream for me. Hahaha~!” Emily licks her lips, forget Carol and Vortexia, your date is the true villain here!

You follow her instructions, not because you are under her spell, but because it feels important!

“UUUUUghh…!~” On a philosophical level, Carol doesn’t like enjoying this. “S-Screw you all…”

“Hahaha~! Your expression is simply delightful.” Emily is sadistic.

“I’m sick of you!” Carol shoves Emily out of the way. “Get lovey dovey with me, moron.” The great idol kisses you!

Out of the blue, someone pulls you out of the kiss to the back of the bed, it’s Clutz below you! She has her arms around your chest, and her legs locked around you! You’re in her spider web! She kisses you now.

“I’m the only one who can take care of you…” Claudia says between kisses.

“No! He’s mine! Mine! Mine!” Carol pulls you out of the spider web.

“Enough! He has always been mine, you damn intruders!!!” Emily appears to pull you out of YUNG-P’s hands.

“You’re all wrong! He has been mine for way longer! I own his heart!!!” Vortexia appears from the back to pull you into her arms.

“No! You're all wrong!” You raise your voice. “You’re all mine.”

This tired man has never felt more alive…

>>5978590

<s> https://docs.google.com/document/d/<wbr>1tszifdK6Swd3IOcZXW67PM5FFLcg_WvTky<wbr>3YglpFPHA/edit?usp=sharing </s>

>>5978592

Spoilers: <s> You had a foursome! Congratulations! Yay? </s>

It’s the morning of the 29th of June! This Thursday has just begun! Well, probably not, you can’t go to school like this, you’ll have to skip like the type of delinquent that you are. Huh? Why are all the girls sleeping in the same bed with you? You remember feeling really sleepy, the girls discussing where to sleep, and… it’s morning! Perhaps they couldn’t decide and ended up like this? It’s cozy being in-between the three girls, but something feels odd, but you can’t put your finger on it...

They all are sleeping soundly like the best friends ever… Wait a second, now you remember! You had a four–

Your phone is ringing! Vibrating more specifically. You need to answer it before it wakes up the girls, even though they look like they won’t wake up any time soon. You’ll take the call to the other room.

What do you do?

>Kiss them all on the foreheads before leaving. Don’t forget to leave them a note that you had fun and to call you when they wake up! You have other things to do.
>Answer the phone! For some reason, Debbie is calling!
>Answer the phone! For some reason, Fiora is calling!
>Answer the phone! For some reason, Nina is calling!
>Take the Cake leftovers with you.
>Write In.

(We'll continue late in the day!)

>>5978593
>>Answer the phone! For some reason, Fiora is calling!

>>5978593
>>Kiss them all on the foreheads before leaving. Don’t forget to leave them a note that you had fun and to call you when they wake up! You have other things to do.

>>5978593
>Answer the phone! For some reason, Fiora is calling

>>5978593
>Answer the phone! For some reason, Fiora is calling!

>>5978593
That image is very interesting. It shows Johnny, our boy, very disturbed and shocked. It is arguably the most "punished" we have seen him yet in this entire quest. <s>Don't think I didn't notice, QM. You deliberately drew Johnny looking like Kobashi, didn't you? It's in the way the face is framed and his hair.</s>

You replace yourself with Carol in the middle spot, grab your phone and leave to the other room to cause the least amount of noise possible. Those poor girls look tired! Unlike you, whose wobbly legs only show your unyielding resistance.

It’s Fiora. It’s been a while since she checked on you. Well, less than a week, but it feels like forever for some reason. You do way too many things in a day, you need to relax, well, after you break out of jail.

“Hi there!” You exclaim with the glee of having one of the most amazing nights of your entire pathetic existence.

“A pleasure hearing you in good spirits, Johnny.” Fiora sounds as composed as ever. “May I have a moment of your time? I have a plethora of news I’d like to share with you.”

“You may.” You pretend to have a posh accent for a moment.

“Much appreciated.” Fiora politely thanks.

“All good news, I imagine.” You half chuckle.

“Your optimism is always well appreciated, but – regrettably – that isn’t the case.” Fiora doesn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. Even though you’d think it would be her thing with the way she dresses. “I’ll start with the most pressing matter, after the N.U. Officers’ approval, the law enforcer task force led by Qiao Ning, Unit 95, is carrying out mass arrests against ‘criminal’ flame users. Those who mistakenly believed their crimes wouldn’t have been persecuted due to the nature of their methods are due for a rude awakening.”

“Isn’t that kinda good?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I thought so as well to a point, but after speaking to your dear sister, she had important qualms about one of the apprehended I mentioned.” Fiora feels like she could’ve made a mistake. “My only personal reservation, which is in no way minor, is the fact that they aren’t following normal procedures. If you recall, I’ve been responsible for investigating a few of these crimes as requested by the N.U., and –as confident as I am with my analysis— I believe people have the right to a fair trial.” She doesn’t like that people are being locked away like that.

“Wait, you talked to my sister first?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Apologies, but you were unavailable at first.” Fiora thought you’d answer first, but you failed.

“And who is the guy Amelia is upset about?” You wonder if it is someone you know…

“A brave masked man who goes by WILDFLAME.” Fiora reveals. She talks about him with some fondness.

“Oh, god damn it, not him! He’s cool! Why did you do that, Fiora?!” You can’t believe this.

“…I wasn’t responsible for his case.” Fiora deadpans. “Spiritual or not, there’s ample video evidence of his misdemeanors, Unit 95’s accomplishment was being capable of subduing him.”

>>5978948

“Oh. Wait, don’t tell me they’re throwing him in Shotgun Kiss…?” You can’t be this unlucky. They can’t be locking flame users in the same jail you want to break into…

“That name… You’re more well-versed than I originally thought. No wonder you and my father clicked so easily.” Fiora is pleasantly surprised. “I recently got the news, but the process started a week ago. I’m here to encourage you to inform me if you have committed any felony of any type. I’ll cover for you.”

Y-You don’t think this kind of stuff should be spoken about over the phone, but you’re no criminal mastermind, and you aren’t sure if you have committed any crimes…

How do you respond?

>“Does knocking out a lot of people count? And I mean, there were A LOT of people.” There are so many people on this list, it isn’t funny.
>“I brutally assaulted a middle aged man after he killed my friend. Does that count?” That fucker Kaz…
>“When I took down the cult, I tampered with the evidence to cover up for my two friends, does that count?” That’s the only way Carol and Vivi can do things, like be friends and have sex with you! Huh…
>“I had sex with my teacher, does that count?” You need to cover all your bases.
>“Oh yeah, I shot a guy in the leg. I didn’t remember until like 2 days ago, but it was before I had a flame, am I in trouble?” Casually mention it.
>“I have a couple of friends that have, can you help them instead?” You wonder. Oliver, Dudley, B-WORM, Vera, Suan De, that dastardly Giorsal, and many more. They probably did something bad! Save their skin!
>Write In.

You have questions, right?

>Ask about how Operation Anti-White Flame is going.
>Ask Fiora for a list of Flame users that have been imprisoned so far.
>Ask Fiora if she’s part of Unit 95.
>Ask Fiora if she’s willing to help you out with a mission to save a friend from jail first…
>Ask Fiora if they already got Gerard.
>Write In.

>>5978950
>Tell her EVERYTHING except the having sex with the teacher thing
>Ask Fiora for a list of Flame users that have been imprisoned so far.

>>5978951
+1
It's time to get serious again

“Does knocking a lot of people out count?” You start your confessional. “And I mean, there were A LOT of people.”

“Pay no mind to those types of scuffles unless you are being sued.” Fiora reassures.

“Cool. I also brutally assaulted a middle aged man after he killed my friend. Does that count?” You wonder. “A cop pal of mine watched me do it.” You add as if it would help somehow.

“My condolences for your loss.” Fiora acts very respectfully. “Perhaps, this case has already been dealt with.” She’s implying that Richard kept it off-record. Yay for corruption.

“You may be right, better safe than sorry though.” You shrug. Why do you always shrug when people can’t see you? Unless you are being observed another way somehow. Ghosts exist after all. “When I took down the cult, I tampered with the evidence to cover up for my two friends. Does that count too?”

“Did you personally hand over this evidence to the police?” Fiora asks for clarification.

“I didn’t! Handed it to my cop pal I mentioned before behind the scenes. We kept it all between us.” You say.

“He’d be the only one affected if it’s discovered. Care to share his name? I don’t want one of your allies to be in trouble either.” Fiora is willing to help others.

“Richard Wright. And, uh, he’s not my only friend who has done illegal activities.” You didn’t want to say but… “Can you help them too?”

“As long as you believe them to be trustworthy, it’d be my pleasure. Consider this your reward for the services you’re going to provide.” Fiora will do it. “Anything else?”

“Oh yeah, I shot a guy in the leg. I didn’t remember until like 2 days ago, but it was before I had a flame, am I in trouble?” You’re getting a little too casual talking about your crimes…

“I will look into it.” Fiora finally got a thing she can cover for you exclusively!

“Thank you! You’re great, Fiora!” You didn’t think evading the law could feel this fulfilling!

“This feeling is all so nostalgic, countless times I had to cover up for my father, always entangled in the most unsavory situations.” Fiora speaks fondly. “You’re worthy of carrying his name.”

“…That doesn’t sound good.” You point out. And that’s only pretending that you’re *actually* named after Kobashi.

“I never pretended like it was.” Fiora never liked her father getting into trouble!

>>5979557

“Can you give me a list of the flame users imprisoned, please?” You need to know! You mean, Amelia got the list, why wouldn’t you?

“I’ll read them for you…” Fiora delivers this crucial information.

The List goes as follows:

-Ayde Magogue –Money Embezzlement.
-Borja Alonso – Arson.
-Carmella Camerota – Public indecency.
-Darwin Borewing – Bank Robbery.
-Iris Scott – Speeding.
-Rahul Phadanis – Assault.
-Sasha Langdon – Murder.
-Tamaraw Zebuanoa – Assault and Battery.
-WILDFLAME – Public Menace.
-Zhong Guanting – Murder.

Some of these names are familiar, most aren’t. You’re surprised they’re keeping WILDFLAME’s identity a secret still…

…

You need to tell Fiora who you want her to cover up for.

Who do you refuse to help? (Everyone not selected will have their crimes reset.)

>‘Mama’ Bodil Ewing.
>Carmella Camerota.
>Carol ‘YUNG-P’ Sung.
>Dorothy Villiers.
>Flint Masterson.
>Gerard Luther.
>’Dastardly’ Giorsal Kane.
>Henry Collins.
>Kenneth Dudley.
>Lord Gargoyle.
>Mark the Markgician.
>Odetta Larsen.
>Oliver ‘Leo Major’ Watts.
>Rooke Knightley.
>Sven ‘B-WORM’ Dolberg.
>Suan De ‘Slob Dragon’ Rodenhall.
>Susie ‘T_T Neko’ Tornatore.
>Primavera ‘Vera’ Cherrikano.
>Tonu.
>Trent Figg.
>Vivienne Neuville.
>’Perfect’ Billy Buonanotte.
>Write In.

What do you do?

>Ask Fiora if they already got Gerard.
>Ask about how Operation Anti-White Flame is going.
>Thank Fiora for calling you, and move on! You better go out and have a talk with the girls before leaving!
>Write In.

(Only Reply of the Day, we will continue tomorrow! Early!)

>>5979558
This quest must have at least 100 different characters by now, you madman

Mama Bodil - we help her after all she did before Johnny got his flame
Carmella - fuck this bitch; I don't care you have a cool brother (or cousin?) in the canon side-spinoff quest, you are too much of a bitch to save
Carol - we help her because despite her personality and everything, she still helped Johnny take down the Cult. And she's related to Jesse, and Jesse's cool. And if she's gone, people can't spam the emoji of her fused with the dog from Hikkikomori Quest
Dorothy - we help her; she fucking died then became a duck, and I think that's enough punishment
Flint - he did go through a lot since early on in the quest, and if he dies then Amelia's entity becomes a broken husk or something terrible. He wasn't that bad
Gerard - yeah uhhhhhh no, you're going to the pocket prison Pegasus
Giorsal - she's ok last I checked, also redeemed herself for helping the Cult before
Henry - he's an ally already and Johnny just helped him succeed an operation
Dudley - I think he's too cool to keep his crimes, but he might want to stay that way
Gargoyle - what crimes did this guy even do?
Markgician - even if his crimes like helping the Cult are covered up, the prison break will happen. I think he's ok
Odetta - like Dudley, I think she'd hate her crimes being wiped
Oliver - he's known by the Pillars, and any record wiping done for him won't save him. But even so...
Rooke - we still don't know enough about him, do we? Why do this for him?
B-WORM - he's proven his worth and he's cool
Suan De - same as the other ones where her crimes are an honor to her
Neko - yeah sure she's come a long way
Vera - Johnny already pardoned her for the serial stalking. Also, what crimes?
Tonu - same as Rooke. Cool and all, but we barely know them
Trent - same as the other "crimes are a badge of honor" people
Vivienne - redeemed ex-Cult member, same as Carol and Mark and Giorsal
Billy - same thing: cool guy but what crimes?

>>5979558
>Carmella Camerota.
>Gerard Luther.

>Ask about how Operation Anti-White Flame is going.

>>5979558
>>Ask Fiora if they already got Gerard.
>Carmella Camerota.
>Gerard Luther.

>>5979828
Anon, I only wrote that up to be organized. I didn't even vote, nor is it meant to be a vote. In fact, I'll vote properly right now

>>5979558
>Carmella Camerota
>Gerard Luther
>Kenneth Dudley
>Odetta Larsen
>Rooke Knightley
>Suan De ‘Slob Dragon’ Rodenhall.
>Tonu
>Trent Figg

>>5979558
Forgot this bit in >>5979831 vote
>Ask Fiora if they already got Gerard

After noting the list of Flame Users captured, you told Fiora everyone you wanted her to look out for, she was generally surprised by the sheer amount of people, but she seems pleased by the fact that you’re well-connected. She will find a way to cover for everyone. As the conversation went on, there was one thing you wanted to make clear…

“…Do NOT help Gerard, by the way. Just don’t.” You stress.

“One could argue that my father would’ve forgiven his former best friend for his actions at this point in life.” Fiora brings up all philosophically. “Unfortunately, there is no way for us to find the answer, and we won’t dare be as conceited to speak for him.” In other words, Fiora won’t do it unless Kobashi himself asked. She feels a lot of animosity towards Gerard. “Not to say that he needs my aid.”

“By the way, did they get him locked up?” You didn’t hear his name in the list, but it’s worth asking! He’s a Judge, maybe he has some type of special treatment.

“His apology tour isn’t facing any detours. Well, a phone phantom told me he made one to play cards, but aside from that, it’s all smooth sailing.” Fiora responds. “Influential forces lurk behind his back, keeping him secured. I was asked to aid them in his pursuit, but I declined. Suffice to say, I don’t believe he’s even aware of Unit 95’s existence.”

“Any particular reason for declining?” You find this odd with how much she dislikes him. He’s still a lucky bastard.

“Unit 95 is its own law enforcement agency unknown to the public. As an international investigator, I have little fondness for secret police and the type of people they attract.” Fiora won’t engage with a policing body she can’t trust. “I’m glad we had this conversation. I’ll be contacting you soon after I’m done with the preparations. There are more individuals I seek to recruit. Until then, farewell.”

This seems to be the end of the conversation unless you have something else to say.

What do you do?

>Finish talking. If Fiora needs you again, she’ll call!
>Ask Fiora to have a private conversation face-to-face. There’s a lot more you want to ask.
>Ask Fiora about the people she wants to recruit.
>Write In.

What’s next?

>Leave the girls a note before leaving the hotel. You have to return home!
>Call Debbie! You feel like you saw her ghost last night, but you aren’t sure if it was your imagination.
>Return Carol to her house.
>Return Emily to her home.
>Write In.

>>5980174
>>Finish talking. If Fiora needs you again, she’ll call!
>Call Debbie! You feel like you saw her ghost last night, but you aren’t sure if it was your imagination.

That was a very fruitful talk! You feel like 90% of the stuff you have learned has been passed through to you on the phone, the other 10% by supernatural means, how convenient. It’s an age of technological wonder, this shouldn’t feel surprising. Anyway, with your personal technological wonder in hand, you decide to reach that one client of yours that made a ghastly visit during the night that you aren’t sure happened or not, so you better confirm it wasn’t your imagination!

“Hello! This is Amber speaking!” An enthusiastic Debbie picks up the phone! She sounds a little bit more tired than usual but not enough to be noticeable to anyone who doesn’t know her… or is a zealous fan. You’re the former.

“Hey, Debbie, it’s me!” You cheerfully say back.

“M-Manager?!” Debbie hangs up. Immediately, you get a call from her. You answer. “I-I’m sorry, I panicked and pressed the wrong button…”

“It’s all right.” You’re getting used to the way Debbie debs. “I wanted to catch up with you about—”

“You don’t sound tired at all!” Debbie interrupts before you can finish.

“Um, I’m a little tired if I’m honest, but how did you noti—”

“I wasn’t spying on you!” Debbie panics and interrupts again.

“Yeah, about that–”

“I mean, I talked to you directly!” Debbie can’t keep her mouth shut. She’s too nervous for some reason. “Don’t you remember? If you don’t, please don’t pay attention to what I’m saying!”

“…” You don’t even know where to begin.

What do you do?

>“Debbie, were you really there? How?” You need to know what the heck happened that night.
>“Debbie, bad! You were spying on me, you nasty pervert!” You can’t believe this! Debbie is no better than Ruby.
>“Debbie, I know you were watching, that was the point.” Be really blunt and weird.
>“Debbie, why were you there?” You need answers.
>“I just wanted to know what the next step for the band should be…” Act all innocent and ignore the awkwardness.
>Write In.

>>5980203
>>“Debbie, why were you there?” You need answers.

>>5980203
>“Debbie, were you really there? How?” You need to know what the heck happened that night.

“Debbie, why were you there?” You start with the simplest question.

“Oh no! You remember! I don’t know if this is more awkward or not!” Either way, Debbie wouldn’t know how to deal with it.

“Huh, please answer the question.” You politely request.

“Y-Yes! L-Let me gather my thoughts!” Debbie doesn’t know what to say.

“Take your time.” You try to be gentle.

“H-Here I go! I was passing through and noticed you lying on the bed, I double checked just to make sure I wasn’t imagining! I couldn’t believe my luck! What a coincidence! My manager here, of all places! But soon I realized that you looked ill, so I couldn’t let it just be a fun easter egg on my route and stayed to make sure you were okie-dokie.” Debbie explains as fast as she can, like each word is a machine gun bullet coming for your head.

“But what brought you to this building?” You ask for specifics.

“I was t-tailing someone. NOT YOU! S-Someone else!” Debbie panics hard, you’ve seen her missing her social cues but not this badly with you. “It’s a coincidence we met! A co-in-ci-dence! J-Just like when you did those things, right? You didn’t intend for me to watch! Y-You were talking nonsense! L-Like you were out of your mind! You forgot I was there, y-y-yes?”

Debbie doesn’t know what you were scheming or why, so she wants you to reassure her that there’s no plan to begin with. You’re Johnny Ando though, always a man with a well-thought out plan!

How do you respond?

>“I don’t remember anything.” Play fool for now. Debbie isn’t ready for the truth.
>“Yeah, I was a little out of there, I forgot you were in the room.” You drowned in the passion.
>“Hold on, you watched the whole thing?” Raise an eyebrow.
>“No. I wanted you to watch, but I never expected you to stay the entire time, pervert.” Confront this Blueberry!
>“Wait, who were you chasing after and why?” Ignore the elephant in the room and move to more serious matters. Probably. As serious as Debbie can be.
>Write In.

>>5980286
>>“Hold on, you watched the whole thing?” Raise an eyebrow.

>>5980286
>“Hold on, you watched the whole thing?” Raise an eyebrow.

>>5980286
>Hold on, you watched the whole thing?” Raise an eyebrow.

“Hold on, you watched the whole thing?” You raise an eyebrow only for the ghosts (and their pervy equivalents) to appreciate.

“Ah?” Debbie whimpers in confusion.

“I asked you if you watched the whole thing.” You reiterate.

“Ah…?” The flabbergasted Debbie is trying to figure out what is going on. She wasn’t supposed to? She wonders.

“Debbie, answer me, did you spend hours of your life watching the entirety of what I did with the other three or not?” You make it painfully clear. No words wasted. Debbie has to answer.

“AH…?!” It has dawned on Debbie that perhaps going full pervert (Ruby) wasn’t what she was supposed to do.

“Debbie!” You shout.

“AH—!!!” Debbie hangs up after losing her mind.

Seconds later, you receive a long text message only composed of gibberish, the equivalent of Debbie ramming her face on the screen for a full minute and somehow having it all register every single input. It’s one message after the other. To calm her down, you try to give her a call, but it’s immediately rejected. After that, the panic spam comes to an end, and intelligible messages are being written instead.

“SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN TO HANG UP.” Debbie’s messages are in all-caps. For the sake of decency, your brain will transform them into regular Debbie speak. You continue reading. “I don’t know what came over me, but I felt so overwhelmed that my hands started moving on their own. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, dear Manager. Please, don’t be offended by my poor judgment.”

Welp, you better respond…

How do you respond?

>Text her that it’s fine and you can text instead if it’s a problem.
>Text Debbie that you don’t hate her, but she has to face the consequences for her erratic behavior.
>Text her that she’s a Pervert.
>Call again. Pressure the Blueberry.
>Debbie has to be in this hotel, tell her to come to your room now.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>5980323
>>Text her that she’s a Pervert.
>Point out that the message even says "segs" multiple times and call her lewd
Then move on

>>5980323
>Text Debbie that you don’t hate her, but she has to face the consequences for her erratic behavior.

Yeah, you better respond immediately, and you’re in the mood to absolutely tease the heck out of your star talent, this won’t backfire on you in any way, shape, or form. In your text, you point out that she wrote ‘segs’ and that she’s a perv. You need to curate your group of friends, you have a lot of depraved women in it, some may say that was the intention all along, but you know you shouldn’t say that.

Your phone bursts into a stream of unintelligible messages from the Blueberry Captain. The same nonsense as you previously received, with the only caveat being that she’s avoiding writing anything that could be considered sexual in any manner. You are starting to believe that her agony is a little prefabricated, idols are too manufactured these days…

You think it will die down at some point, but no, it keeps going and going with no end in sight. You broke Debbie or Debbie broke her phone. Regardless, you need to move on. In a way, now the awkwardness of the situation has been transferred to the idol, and it’s her responsibility to clear up the air between you two. And, knowing this isn’t the end of the world, you’ll give her some space to sort herself out.

Back to the room, the girls were waiting for you! Kinda, they’re sleepy, Vortexia and Emily seem to be on good terms sharing the bed, while Carol has been restrained into a ball with only her head out for air on a random chair, she’s neatly packaged for you to take away. In short, Emily panicked a little when they realized you disappeared, but Vortexia maintained a cool head and heard you talking in the other room, both were relieved that you didn’t ditch them. The thing is that they’re still tired and would like to stay for a while longer. You’re free to go if you have anything planned! Their plan for the day is to figure out a roadmap for Vortexia’s next career moves between them, if you’re interested, you’re free to join them (Which they would prefer if you do since you’re the boss.) If not, Carol has already been packaged to be delivered home.

“…I don’t wanna be friends anymore.” The Carol ball grouses about what really happened.

“Sorry, we’re going to follow the deal to its bitter end.” Emily will make sure that Carol doesn’t get any peace. She yawns and turns to you. “If you want to take Carol away, feel free… Goodnight, bunny…” Emily goes back to sleep like nothing happened. She uses Vortexia’s puffy hair as a pillow. Did she call you bunny affectionately? You don’t look like a bunny, how confusing. You hate ill-fitting nicknames.

“…” Vortexia can’t leave now even if she wants to. “I guess it’s goodbye for now, Manager…”

What do you do?

>Take Ball Carol home.
>Stay in the hotel. You wasted too much money not to enjoy lunch here.
>Sleepy or not, grab ALL the girls and take them home! You’re a responsible adult!
>Write In.

>>5981085
>Write In.
Kiss both Vortex and Emily on the cheek goodbye
>Take Ball Carol home.

>>5981085
>Stay in the hotel. You wasted too much money not to enjoy lunch here.

>>5981105
+1

>>5981106
Tell the girls to have lunch in Johnny's place here

Many times you’ve seen people question their life decisions, you think Carol is feeling like this is a new low. Or a different kind of new low, she’s a celebrity, they do wild shit. You pet Ball Carol, then strap her behind your back. She barely moves at all, you know it’s the point of being restrained so you’re not going to comment more than that.

“Yup!” You cheerfully say to Vortexia, then you approach her and kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, maybe we’ll catch lunch together if you’re available.”

“Hmm…” Vortexia doesn’t know how to respond and watches you go to the other side of the bed.

“Night too, bunny.” You kiss Emily on the cheek too. Her faint smile grows wider as she gets more comfortable. “You two take care.” You caress both girls before taking your leave.

Outside of the room, Carol requests for you to pull her hood on her head to conceal her identity. You do it somehow but that makes you wonder something important.

“Do you want me to pull you out of your Ball Form…?” You don’t have any reasons to have her in a ball.

“You mean out of being restrained?” Carol has no idea why you called it a ‘ball form.’

“That’s what I said.” You deadpan.

“That's not what you said.” Carol argues back.

“Do you want out or not?” You ask again.

“It’s whatever…” Carol doesn’t care. “I’m too tired to care.” She yawns like a sloth.

“Cheer up, I’m taking you home.” You’d give her a thumbs up, but she wouldn’t be able to see it.

“I’m not depressed, I’m literally exhausted. Can’t twitch a muscle without hurting. No way I’d be moping around for nothing.” Carol sneers at your presumptions. “Now that we’re buds. I expect you to help me out, like you scratch my back, I scratch yours type of stuff. You’ll be the ace under my sleeve.”

“Okay, but I have a busy schedule.” You adjust your glasses.

“Hey! That’s what I should say, I’m the star here. Like, what are you even busy with? The dentist?” Carol can’t believe you would say that.

“Nope. Meeting your family.” You’re excited to meet your imaginary son’s aunt and grandma!

“This is going to suck...” Carol sighs. “This is going to suck so much…!”

At that moment, Carol decided that she will never give tickets for free ever again. Sadly, this is all we have for this thread! Thanks for playing! And see you next time!

>>5981244
Thanks for running!
<s> Vortexia vest girl </s>


JOIN THE CAUSE

KUNG FU PANDA FAN

WE NEED TO FIGHT TO KEEP KFP3 ON NETFLIX! WE LOST THE FIRST TWO AND WE DONT WANT TO LOSE A THIRD! HELP ME! HELP THE DRAGON WARRIOR!!!

Anonymous

Troopers, I've just received new orders. Our superiors say, Kung Fu Panda 3 is leaving Netflix. We can all watch Ruby Gilman, Teenage Kraken instead. Netflix is getting paid off for its crimes, and our views will have died here, will have died... for nothing. But, we can all watch Ruby Gilman. Meanwhile ideals like good storytelling, good animation and voice acting, they get packed up. But, we can all watch Minions. Well... I'm not watching Minions. I'm gonna get on my twitter, and I'm going online and I'm gonna kick that son of a bitch Netflix's ass so hard, that Amazon Prime is gonna feel it. Now who wants to watch Minions, and who wants to JOIN THE CAUSE?

>>5972475
Did you know that you can watch all the Kung Fu Panda movies for free at your local torrenting website?

Worthy cause, but MODS DO YOUR FUCKING JOB

>>5972475
this is the only good thread on /qst/

Should make a dragon warrior quest or as a cursed shapeshifter born under the stars of the gods of misfortune
>Blessed with Misfortune: You were born under some unlucky stars. All of the unlucky stars in fact! Your birth under such unfortunate signs drew the attention of the Gods of Misfortune and they see you as their favored child. They look over you and bestow upon you their 'blessings'. They love you, in their own way. You take -50 to almost all luck rolls. Your enemies lose all of their advantages and take -75 to their luck rolls. If a luck roll would kill you you instead get a +50 bonus.