fit/70635867.txt

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--- 70635867
You ARE strong enough to start a lawnmower, right?
--- 70635946
>>70635867 (OP)
Even as a kid I remember thinking boomer lawn flexing is the gayest shit
--- 70635947
>>70635867 (OP)
>cranking a push mower
--- 70635958
>>70635867 (OP)
so that dude starts a landmower for the rival dad?
what's next, mowing rival dad's lawn? raising rival dad's kids?
--- 70636056
>>70635958
I like mowing MY lawn
--- 70636115
>>70635867 (OP)
Is this really the shit natty dyels do to prove they are slightly less weak than some other loser?
--- 70636159
>>70635958
My father in law bought my house, mows my lawn, raises my daughter, and cooks dinner for my wife while I'm at work. He's extremely helpful but he's mogging the shit out me.
--- 70636448
>>70636159
You just know
--- 70636488
>>70635946
Same thing with grills. 

If you’re throwing a bbq party in your yard and you’re burning the food, you dont get to be butthurt when I take over the grill to ensure that all the food doesnt get ruined, yet some people do get really upset when another man uses their grill
--- 70636621
>>70636488
Why would you ever touch another man's grill. If you didn't buy the food you don't touch my grill. I don't care if I cook your steak well done. Or if your hotdogs are beef jerky. You touch my grill you're getting grill lines on your face. 

>>70635946
That's because you kids don't own houses. You live in apartments, perpetually pay rent and have no equity. When you have a house, a nice lawn is the icing on the cake to let all your neighbors know your house is nice. Because everyone has to mow their lawn, it's only natural to compare lawns. Its the equivalent of having better form and lifting more than someone else. Yeah you have a lawn 2, but its not as green and weed free as mine
--- 70636661
>>70636488
>>70636621
>dis burger ain't gots no seesonin on it. He prolly ain't even wash he meat.
--- 70637065
>>70635867 (OP)
Just add an extra 3 priming pumps to fraud mower starts.
T. Mowed lawns for over a decade as a kid.
--- 70637195
>>70636621
LMAO I will take your grill, and you will stand there like a beta shit and watch me cook a proper steak.

Want me to raise your kids and fuck your wife for you too?
--- 70637209
>lawncuck
i'm a natural gardener
--- 70637234
>>70635946
>>70636621
Lawns are fucking retarded. Ugly, bland, soulless. Get a real fucking garden.
--- 70637261
>>70637195
>watch me cook a proper steak
let me guess 30 seconds each side mr alpha male? and you have your own hot sauce collection too?
--- 70637361
>>70637261
Hey, I was just joking man, no need to get upset. Now go home and get your fucking A1.
--- 70637932
>>70636488
>when you're in your yard you don't get to be upset when another man uses your stuff
nah, that one's fair.
--- 70637937
>>70636621
>That's because you kids don't own houses.
Because boomers own more than half the houses here despite making up a minority of the population. Supply cannot meet demand.
--- 70638089
>>70635867 (OP)
The first dad probably primed it for him. This is my true story:

>bolt is frozen
>won't budge
>can't break it loose
>spray it with PB blaster, let it soak 
>4 hours later bro comes over with his gf
>mention how I was struggling with the bolt earlier
>he walks over and breaks it loose
>girls look at me like dyel
--- 70638257
>>70636488
No dude. You think you can commandeer someone's kitchen if they're throwing a dinner party and say "I'm taking over this oven as it's clear you can't cook properly, I am now master of the lasagna operation" without being fucking rude? Why is the grill any different?
--- 70638324
>>70638089
>mention how I was struggling with the bolt earlier
>he walks over and breaks it loose

you set yourself up for that one

>"never open yourself to a potential mog unless you're preparing a reverse mogging trap"
>niccolo machiavelli, the prince, ch14
--- 70638347
>boomers think the deciding factor of starting a push mower is cord pulling technique 
Kek. They are just shitty old motors with clogged up carb. Its just a game of luck whether it starts first pull or not.
--- 70639216
>>70636159
Anon… 
>>70636488
If you don’t like my cooking at my party you can leave my yard.
--- 70639223
>>70635867 (OP)
Americans are all closeted faggots
--- 70639243
>>70637234
Based
--- 70639255
>>70636056
never saw the whole season, did the nihilistic twink fuck the other guy's wife?
--- 70639256
>>70637261
Its the best way you retarded veganbrained nigger
--- 70639655
>>70635946
>rentoid hands typed this post
--- 70639659
>>70635958
Next step is mowing the other dudes wife
--- 70639676
>>70635867 (OP)
If you do this, just remember to start the mower OFF THE GRASS. You'll look like an absolute retard if you try to start it on the grass, especially if the grass is wet, pro tip
--- 70639683
>>70639676
>You'll look like an absolute retard if you try to start it on the grass, especially if the grass is wet
only if you're a dyel
--- 70639698
>pull lawn mower cord
>the entire mower moves but the cord is just as short as before
Wtf is this faggot bullshit.
--- 70639706
>>70636621
>this post
Jesus, what a waste of life. You get 70 years on this planet and you waste them on meaningless pissing contests. You are pic related personified.
--- 70639793
>>70636488
I used to have parties at my dad's summer house and my 2 friends would always end up BBQing
I don't give a shit because then I don't have to do it
--- 70639817
>>70639706
he said on 4chan.
--- 70639849
>>70639817
>NO, REAL MEN AREN'T ALLOWED TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES WHILE TAKING A SHIT
--- 70640273
>>70638324
I forgot how well that PB blaster shit works. I was going to let it sit overnight but 4 hours was more than enough time. He easily broke it loose with one hand
--- 70640312
>>70639683
>only if you have a dyel mower
fixed
--- 70640325
>>70639256
oh for sure, the parasites are just extra protein if you're strong.
--- 70640338
>>70640273
>and so prince anon was mogged by his friend and rival
>his protests of adept rulership went unheard, and his kingdom was lost
>"it was the work of alchemy!" he screamed as he was driven into the wastes
--- 70640340
>>70640312
cope harder
--- 70640861
>>70637234
good shit
--- 70640875
>>70636159
anon... i don't think that it's your daughtstm2ter...
--- 70641375
>>70635867 (OP)
thank you
>lawn mower crank-mog a rival dad in front of his family
that goes on my bucket list

gotta have goals to aim for in life and that one is stupid enough for me
--- 70641434
>>70635946
>>70636621
it depends upon the ratio of lawn to house size (ground floor anyway)
a lawn which is WAY bigger than its house looks pretty weird, at least within the city. for instance there are some yards that are like a half acre here with these little 4-bedroom ranch houses. if you could fit more than one additional house on your yard it's too big to be desu.
--- 70641550
>>70636621
This post is like the epitome of America , my sides omg...
--- 70641570
>>70635867 (OP)
The key to RIPPEN IT is to the pull the slack out of the cable before giving her a good ol yank
>>70636621
Imagine me paving my lawn and ruining your property values for the lulz
--- 70641575
>>70639255
Yes
--- 70641577
>>70639255
Yes. First he mowed his lawn, then he ploughed his wife
--- 70641600
>>70635867 (OP)
The crankshaft on my mower is bent and makes the whole thing vibrate like crazy. Hands literally hurt after mowing my lawn. I'm too weak to bend it back without using tools.
--- 70641640
>>70636621
>Yeah you have a lawn 2, but its not as green and weed free as mine

based boomer shitposter
--- 70641902
>>70635946
Keep renting poorfag.
--- 70641921
>>70638089
i have an identical story except instead of breaking it loose he rounded the bolt off
--- 70641949
>>70636488
I enjoy a slightly burnt taste to shit when I grill, if you don't like it tough shit kiddo
--- 70641967
>>70641949
Based
--- 70641977
>>70637234
based
--- 70642039
>>70635867 (OP)
Rival Dad? What king of gay, faggot shit is that? This dude deserves to be cucked for being a petty retard.
--- 70642049
>>70636488
I just beat mine
--- 70642068
>>70635867 (OP)
lmao, using a pull start is all about technique.
>pull a couple times with it off to get some fuel in the cylinder
>turn on, choke depending on where you live/how cold it is
>get to tdc, reset handle
>easy yank
boom.
>>70641949
Looking good man.
--- 70642131
>>70642068
seriously, but don't expect normies to understand this. I can drop start a chainsaw first try in any weather and know it has nothing to do with strength but knowing how to prep the motor to be able to do is job.
--- 70642160
>>70636488
Nah you can leave
--- 70642171
>>70635867 (OP)
This is some fucking sad, boomer shit.
--- 70642473
>>70639255
yes, but it was his wife getting revenge for her husband having an affair.
--- 70642710
>>70641977
What do you do for the birds, deer, raccoons, rodents, bunnies, and insects?
--- 70642749
>>70642068
Careful with the yank though, so many pull start tools have old worn out or partially dry rotted cords. Got start easy and smoothly accelerate as it catches. Worst is if you just yank the fuck out of it from the start while there's slack, it'll tear right off.
--- 70642778
>>70642171
Pretty sure he's being a bit ironic and is self-aware of it. 

Cranking lawnmowers has nothing to do with being strong. I could start them when I was 11 years old. When I was 20 I would have to pull it to start the lawnmore for my really old dad (RIP) who still had a lot of farmer strength but was 73 and slower. I could pull it quickly while his arms were strong but he couldn't pull it as fast. 
 
Did I mention I was a complete dyel.
--- 70643508
>>70642710
Most people don't actually do this shit. Anytime lawns get brought up online liberals and RETVRNfags alike come out of the woodwork to talk up their BASED garden lawns and how traditional lawns are a horrible waste of water, etc. yet you will see very very few people actually do this in real life. what they don't talk about is the pitiful yields these gardens have unless you put in a lot of work. I can tell you as someone has a small lawn and a small garden the lawn is much less work and resources. I can understand criticizes super short heavily overwatered lawns but you can take care of your lawn without making it into a golf course and most of these garden lawn people are talking out of their ass.
--- 70643761
>>70641977
>growing a garden in the car infested murrican suburbs
Cool.
--- 70643851
>>70641949
MHMMM AGA's
--- 70644255
>>70636488
>mfw all these replies
I learned something new today
--- 70644307
>>70643508
I currently rent, but when I had a house I just mowed and that was it. Men who spray their lawns are mentally ill. The point of a lawn is to use it not to show it off. I'm not gonna put poison everywhere so dogs and kids can't be let out on it.
--- 70644400
>>70641977
>he doesn't live in a climate with high annual rainfall
--- 70644486
>>70641977
Doesn't even have to be a garden, just plant a variety of wild flowers and other native plants to create an oasis for insects and other wild life. They desperately need it.
--- 70644560
>>70644486
>aaah fuck why do i keep getting stung by bees?!?!
Lawns are gay, but I don't want to deal with a shitload of bees every time I walk outside
--- 70644757
>>70635946
LITERALLY NOTHING makes your balls secrete more test as when your lawn absolutely MOGS a neighbour's one
It is like killing a man in armed combat
I am superior to you
>rentoids need not respond they don't even exist in mans's world
--- 70645198
>>70644560
You some kind of faggot?
Bees are based bro insects. And so are wasps and hornets and ants and all the rest 2bh. As long as you're in tune with nature they don't fuck with you, they just chill.
--- 70645219
>>70644757
>LITERALLY NOTHING makes your balls secrete more test as when your lawn absolutely MOGS a neighbour's one
>It is like killing a man in armed combat
Nothing except watching them seethe as they pour expensive chemicals and bullshit over it because your natural "weed" (wildflower) filled yard colonizes their gay barren monoculture.
--- 70645255
>>70645219
pic VERY relevant
--- 70645291
>>70645255
Based.
--- 70645366
>>70641977
HOAs are to blame more than le dumb public, you're literally obligated to follow their rules or you don't get your mortgage
Most people put up with it because homeownership means more to them
--- 70645381
>>70645198
This poster is a bee or wasp
Don't believe his lies
--- 70645427
>>70645255
Absolutely based.
--- 70645432
>>70645381
Nah he's right, at least about bumblebees. When I was a kid I saved one from drowning in our pool and he let me pet him. Ever since I have felt a natural bond with this creature. They're bros.
--- 70645819
>>70641949
What kind of enormous faggot doesn't want some char on his meat? It's half the point of grilling, why would you even bother if you don't like it?

It's why I only grill with charcoal, propane is for cucks.
--- 70645929
>>70636488
i don't care how crispy the food gets you don't touch my fucking grill.
--- 70646243
>>70645255
>ITS OKAY TO BE WHITE CLOVER
fucking kek
--- 70647163
>>70635946
i had a house and i stopped cutting the lawn and the city threatened to cut it for me and bill me
i was just not cutting it to spite my neighbors because i hate niggers who try to tell me how to maintain my house and lawn
the lesson i learned is that the government are niggers
--- 70647517
>>70635867 (OP)
Man, this thread just shows me how many lazy & advert to nature Americans there are
>abuuuuu da beez & laydeebuhgz & wormz & butterflyz n shiet theyz gun hurt me booooo
>i aint wastin' my time to tend to no gadamn dert
>why grow vegetuhbulls n frootz when eyez can buy demz frum walmart
> da HOA wown lemme chaynge mai lawn n shiet

Kill yourselves right now. If you dont live in a hellhole megacity with skyscrapers & you dont have ANY crops in your yard nor any native flora that attracts native cute birds to the area, kill yourselves.
--- 70648266
>>70635867 (OP)
I'm not a weak faggot. I use a scythe like my ancestors before me.
--- 70648341
>>70641949
if you serve me burnt food i'm just throwing it out. money down the drain. sucks for you.
--- 70648579
>>70640325
>he lives in a shithole with worms in the meat
if you live somewhere you cannot eat raw beef straight out of the package you are the cattle, bitch
--- 70648586
>rival dad
wtf is that shit? not american
--- 70648693
>>70645432
yeah, bumblebees are nice. do a bzzzz and then SMACK when they hit your forehead by accident
--- 70648759
>>70638257
>being so beta that you don’t host all parties, even the ones you are invited too
Haha your gay dude
--- 70648809
this is the most American thread I've seen today
--- 70648815
>>70647517
>>70645432
>>70645198
Fuck you, bumblebitches. I'll fuck you straight up your fuzzy, stripped asses
--- 70648856
>>70635867 (OP)
Yes, because my mower is electric and requires a gentle button-press to start.
--- 70648868
>>70637261
If you enjoy anything more than a rare steak then you need to anhero unironically. Rare is objectively the most flavorful and best way to enjoy a steak
--- 70648978
>>70648586
It's something we usually refer to as a 'joke.'
--- 70649381
>>70635958
>ah thanks, man. i was struggling with this for a while i really appreciate it. 
Anything beyond that is prick waving by 2 dudes insecure in themselves whether it be the guy starting the mower to "prove" his worth or the other guy being assblasted because he had to ask someone for help. It is some of the gayest, faggotiest shit imaginable that makes literal faggots say, "That's pretty gay, bro."
--- 70649409
>>70635867 (OP)
You can tell things never went beyond that because he posted it on Twitter. That single event must have made his month
--- 70649730
>>70649409
Exactly lol the other dude might have thought about it for 3 seconds but it's made this retard's month
--- 70649737
>>70641977
What's the cost difference if I just astroturf?
I grow sugarcane for shading my house.

>>70645198
>>70644486
I'm honestly thinking about beemaxxing, but I'm afraid of getting sued if someone gets a really bad reaction to a sting.
--- 70649747
>>70635867 (OP)
I could start a lawnmower when I was a twiggy 12 year old. Why would I struggle to do that now?
--- 70649863
>>70635867 (OP)
If you really want to mog another dad. Play with their kids. Most dads are out of shape and can't keep up with their kid. A little foot racing, play wrestling, or even playing cars will get all the wives looking at you wishing their husband's were like you
--- 70649873
>>70641902
Aren't most "homeowners" just renting from the bank?
--- 70650116
>>70645198
I always thought guys who simped for bees seemed like bitches. To be honest, the kind of guy who thinks fucking bees and wasps are cool is probably the kind of twink faggot that I'd fuck if I met him in a dark alley. I can just imagine myself overpowering him, growing erect as he quivers in fear of a real man. I could probably secure both his wrists with one hand, and pull his pants down to his thighs with the other. I'd enter him missionary, to complete my dominance of him.
See, men enter each other from behind bent over like animals blindly following their instincts. But a woman, a woman you enter while facing her. You look her in the eye to watch the look in her face as she takes your length. I'd do the same with this fag. I'd slip myself inside his tight hole, and jackhammer that shit until his prostate was throbbing with pleasure. Honest to God, it would give me perverse pleasure to watch his eyes roll into the back of his head as I flooded his boyhole with cum, and then went back to my life of enjoying mantids as the best insects
--- 70650163
>>70649873
it's not renting if you get the thing at the end of payments
--- 70650194
>>70650163
Do you get to stop paying property taxes to the state after you pay off the mortgage, you cuck retard?
--- 70650260
>>70650194
that wasn't what you asked retard, you aren't indebted to the bank anymore, you are just paying the state
--- 70650293
>>70650163
The bank owns it and can take it at any time. And you'll also need to pay the government for permission to live their for your entire life, including when you also pay the bank for permission to live there.
--- 70650449
>>70637234
This. Boomers blow the leaves and mow their lawns because they're too fhcjinf stupid to figure out how to garden or landscape. Its symbolic of everything that is wrong with our modernist hellscape. Instead if actually achieving something beautiful or worthwhile, obese men lazily push machines around their cookie-cutter property, which looks exactly like that of millions of others. Our European Hunter Gatherer and Early European Farmer ancestors KILLED, RAPED, and fucking ATE eachother. Before that hunter gathererwancestors in Africa killed large game during extended multi day hunting trips, picked fruit from trees, and watched their women give birth squatting like fucking players instead if needing pitching drips and C sections to rip children out of bodies so corrupted by the modern world that western woman are increasingly capable of BREASTFEEDING their own children. 50,000 years ago a boy became a man in an elaborate ritual whereby trials and feats of endurance were needed. Now they learn how to start the lawn mower and walk in straight lines.

It's like watching a dog try to dig a hole in a carpeted floor, or "cute" videos of domesticated beavers building dams in their owner's houses out of retarded shit like pillows. It's a hollow, desperate, mindless mammalian reflex that is but the faint echo of what our species is capable of doing. Men are hunters, achievers, and conquerors of spaces--not juat militarily, but logistically. Male humans evolved to execute complex series of camp-building, hunting, group-organizing, and tool using behaviors in-tune with the specific demands and limitations of his local biome. Now they boast of their skill in cookin meat others have killed in metal boxes. Nigger, 8,000 years ago people being tossed into the TALHEIM DEATH PIT and were being mutilated in gory cannabilistic RITUAL SLAUGHTER. Life is so fucking easy now and I'm fine with that, but modern males having ANY pride in it is the greatest cope in history.
--- 70650575
>>70639849
if you take more than 30 seconds to take a shit there is something wrong with you.
--- 70650647
>>70636488
if you did this to me i'd make it my life goal to fuck your wife
--- 70650782
>>70650575
Stfu boomer you assholes read the newspaper or magazines while taking a shit. Not much has changed.
--- 70650831
>>70637065
>Just add an extra 3 priming pumps to fraud mower starts.
>T. Mowed lawns for over a decade as a kid.
THIS. OP's pic is not telling people his little secret.
--- 70651365
>>70648815
Man, FUCK you. Bees produce the best & only honey in the world. Or do you eat vegan honey which is just sugar turned into a paste?
--- 70651528
>>70647517
you live in some shitty flat in a niggermetropolis in europe. what would you know about lawns? you've never even seen anything but brick and concrete in your life. you've never seen a wolf or a bear or any wildlife at all. you've never been camping because you don't own a car and rely on public transport. you've never lived in a house in the woods because euros aren't allowed to build in a green belt. you've never lived in a comfy suburb either because "suburbs" in europe are just nigger project buildings on the outskirts of the niggermetropolis. when we need advice on getting raped by pakis, or not questioning the holocaust, we'll ask you.
--- 70651584
>>70636488
you never touch another man's grill the hell is wrong with you. if you don't like the food don't it and don't come back. taking over the grill is a woman's move, be better then that
--- 70651600
>>70636159
Dude you need to put your foot down and get some distance. He doesn’t see you as a capable adult and there is a small but significant chance he is fucking your wife aka his daughter.
--- 70651742
>>70636621
(You)
--- 70651787
>make lawnmower thread
>all 40 to 60 fitzens come out of the woodwork and start arguing 
lol
--- 70651913
>>70645819
I cooked that chicken breast on propane retard. Propane starts faster is easier to temp control makes less of a mess and costs less than charcoal. I will admit that charcoal does taste better but it's a pain in the ass to work with and too expensive. Propane isn't perfect but it's a really good compromise especially if you don't have a lot of time or autism.