| ----- | |
| --- 897689773 | |
| Anyone attempt suicide recently? | |
| --- 897689851 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| >attempt | |
| Let me rephrase that. Anybody too pussy to anhero but enjoy talking about how unhappy they are | |
| --- 897689855 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| ye im fucking dead | |
| --- 897690087 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| Nine days to go | |
| --- 897690316 | |
| >>897689851 | |
| You don't understand how hard it is to be white and priviledged | |
| --- 897691012 | |
| >>897689851 | |
| Perhaps because suicidal people don't actually have an innate desire to die or a hate for life. Most actually want to live and want things to turn around for the better, but they see no way out. Nobody wakes up and thinks "Yayyy today I will kill myself UwU <3" | |
| --- 897691109 | |
| >>897691012 | |
| Or they could just be spoiled little pussies that didn't get exactly what they wanted that day | |
| --- 897691222 | |
| >>897691109 | |
| Ok boomer. | |
| --- 897691268 | |
| >>897691222 | |
| Ok tranny. | |
| --- 897691312 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| >>897689851 | |
| hospitalized myself 2x weeks ago... behind on rent and broke and unemployed... eviction imminent... accounts overdrawn and behind on payment... no friends, been homeless before and worked my way out of it... life is just on repeat... i'm empty inside, i don't make good/lasting friends so everything just feels meaningless, pointless, and futile... feel like the only thing keeping me here is my own selfish pursuits which even i don't care about anymore... i just want to crawl into a bottle with a blunt and stop feeling anything... several methods at the ready should i decide to give it a go... just yeah, not looking forward to anything and the 'it gets better' trope is tired after all these years of building back up to the same point: an empty, vacuous life that wasn't planned and is proportionally disconnected from existence as a result. | |
| yeah i'm unhappy | |
| --- 897691478 | |
| >>897691312 | |
| >yeah i'm unhappy | |
| What makes you think you are supposed to be happy? What makes you think happiness is the proper emotional response to "behind on rent and broke and unemployed, eviction imminent, accounts overdrawn and behind on payments, no friends....." | |
| It could well be that feeling "unhappy" is the normal state, and the feelings of "happiness" is the rare and unusual occurrence. | |
| --- 897692232 | |
| tranny here, I ordered my SN which is stuck now because I fucked up the postsl code. As soon as it arrives I'm gonna end all this misery I can't wait | |
| --- 897692323 | |
| >>897691478 | |
| What if you've never felt happiness? Why do people expect others to trudge through life being miserable the whole time? I'm told I'm not allowed to kms because "if I have to suffer then so do you". What kind of shit is that? Especially when I'm not even considered a friend. People like to condemn suicide but they lack any understanding of what would drive someone to it. For some of us happiness is a fairytale. How long are you supposed to go on for the sake of others that dont actually care? | |
| --- 897692336 | |
| >>897692232 | |
| You made the right choice freak. | |
| --- 897692680 | |
| >>897692336 | |
| thank you for the encouragement <3 | |
| --- 897692822 | |
| >>897691222 | |
| trips of truth | |
| --- 897693077 | |
| >>897691268 | |
| Salty | |
| --- 897693137 | |
| >>897692822 | |
| Ok tranny | |
| >>897693077 | |
| Ok tranny | |
| --- 897693179 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| >Anyone attempt suicide recently? | |
| Yes, but not because I was sad, I legitimately have a split personality, whether through the severe abuse as a kid or it was always there, it makes no difference. When my father died (partially due to doctor neglect) that side of me screams for the head of the doctor, it's overwhelming and while I don't disagree, my father made me promise to not kill him. Things got/are getting worse, in an effort to stop myself short of checking myself into a psych hospital (which couldn't hold me for long if I didn't want to be there) I decided to hork my bottle of prescription sleeping pills, the other guy took control, made me puke them up, and I woke up 3 days later in another city. It's not the first time I tried to stop myself like this, and it always ends the same way. | |
| --- 897693319 | |
| >sleeping pills | |
| dude unless you got pentobarbital from the 60's you ain't gonna die from sleeping pills, just blackout. | |
| Get Sodium Nitrite or the exit bag method | |
| --- 897693358 | |
| >>897691478 | |
| >Update | |
| i never set any expectation that i always had to be happy, i only underscored my circumstances with my current state: unhappy. | |
| as to you inquiry, i don't expect to be happy all the time. but i do expect my life to leave me feeling filled up and meaningful and all those other things i mentioned... and despite my attempts and engagement and enthusiasm and work ethic and trying new things and new people and places and groups, it does not and i am left hopeless and without direction. i can not find a reason to keep doing anything. the world/life/people have drained me. i'm burned out. | |
| --- 897693703 | |
| >>897692323 | |
| i'm made to feel bad about leaving behind friends (i have none, no one has called me for anything other than business since october of last year) and family (we only see each other on holidays and unless things are good, we can't talk because it ends in fights) | |
| i've quit every job i've ever had (never fired, always a top performer and a often heavily relied upon) and the only call i've ever gotten after i quit was from bosses asking where i am or to return equipment. | |
| i am a disposable asset, a number, an empty soulless husk walking this earth mindlessly and without purpose other than to be a means for someone else's ends which for me, conflicts with what i understand it to be human (alive and not just a robot). | |
| so if the world just wants a robot, then it doesn't need me. | |
| --- 897694670 | |
| >>897693358 | |
| >>897693703 | |
| also, in fairness, i'm a monster who loathes himself for what he has become so there's that too, it's not just the world or circumstances or other people... i'm part of the problem... | |
| --- 897694877 | |
| >>897693703 | |
| Believe me I get it. I've never had a friend. Well, I had a dog for 15 years. She was the only living being that showed any love to me. The only thing that has ever touched me. I had to put her down april 1st last year. Idk if I'll ever get over it. She's now in a fucking box on my dresser and it breaks my heart to know I have to sleep alone. But I'm not allowed to be sad or show any emotion or talk about it because its "stressful" for her. I can do all I'm asked and demanded be taken for granted. I can break myself trying in earnest to be as helpful as I can and a thank you seems too much to bear. What do I get for my effort? A laundry list of more bullshit and complaints that I cant handle everything on my own and nothing is ever good enough. | |
| I'm a slave to someone that doesnt care. I'm a ghost. Everything would unwind and fall apart in my absence and I cant not think its deserved because I cant even walk into a room without being made to feel unwanted and invisible. Blood doesnt mean family. All it means is taking shit and being alone. Almost 35 years now I've walked this earth by myself. It's not worth it anymore. Never really was but fuck me for feeling loyalty to the disloyal. | |
| --- 897695248 | |
| >>897694877 | |
| what makes it more fucked up for me is that in the past i would have liked a relationship, but all i can find are hookups. not an incel just not able to find/meet people who are interested in me as a friend, or otherwise. so sex is just emptier than all hell when and if i chase it down so at this point i'm all but put off having a relationship at all... i've had opportunities in the last two years but i'ts been at least that long since i last touched anyone. | |
| the dog thing hits home; i'm a dog lover but apartments either charge exorbitant rates to own a pet or forbid them outright so i've not had a pet since living with mom and dad. but i know what it's like to lose a dog you loved. i'm not sure how i'd react to death now though. i feel so dead inside all the time. like if you told me my parents both died today i'm not sure i could cry about it. i'm not sure who i would cry for. i feel dead inside. only half-in anything i'm doing right now... | |
| --- 897695449 | |
| >>897693137 | |
| >22 | |
| >77 | |
| everyone who argues against you has either dubs or trips | |
| you just know we're right | |
| --- 897695915 | |
| >>897695248 | |
| >only half in | |
| Shit bro. I've been there since childhood. I had to grow up fast and deal with shit a kid shouldn't. I think it frazzled me to an extent I never really recovered from. I get feeling dead inside. And it's not for lack of effort. I've tried to help myself. Work, eat right, exercise, blah blah. Nothing helps. Even the fleeting euphoria of drugs has lost its luster. I cant even say the dog helped all that much I just always felt like I was dragging her down too. And she was the happiest most energetic creature I've ever encountered. I truly believe she fell into my lap when she did to help me when I was in a very dark place in life and I can say she did help in ways I'll probably never understand fully. | |
| I spend around 7k on house stuff. Did all the work myself. Because I'm the type to give. I dont expect anything in return but when the minimal cant even be considered then I see no reason why to bother. Given all this I'm not allowed to have another dog unless it's some shitstain ankle biter for her sake. No one ever helped with the last one so I really dont get what the issue is. She was mine and I took full responsibility for her care and well being. That dog never destroyed anything that wasnt her blankets. Sweet as pie. I know pitbulls are meme'd on hard and rightfully so, but mine was the literal definition of a nanny dog. | |
| I consider myself lucky to be graced with a perfect gem amidst the hurricane of hot diarrhea that my life is. | |
| --- 897696633 | |
| >>897695449 | |
| Ok tranny | |
| --- 897696854 | |
| >>897695915 | |
| used to be real fit, fit into the right size jeans, rode my bike everywhere (100 miles per week), wore bright clothes (peacock'd), but in the last 3/4 years... even that enthusiasm and hope has faded... | |
| i hear you on the give and take in the relationship... the only/last relationship for me ended badly because i was a source of income and a means to an end... there was never much give if any... i don't know what relationships are or what they can be but i've not yet experienced one that has made me feel like i'm wanted/welcome beyond the coincidence of me and another person being in the same space for a period of time... | |
| --- 897696991 | |
| Give to me straight anons | |
| I need a method that's quick and relatively painless. No guns where I am and not many tall buildings. I'm done | |
| --- 897697082 | |
| >>897689773 (OP) | |
| Attempt, no. Think about constantly? Yes | |