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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I'm [23 F] not sure if I should "hang out" with [21 M] anymore since he claims to have slept with over 100 women after me (1 year) POST: This one guy, who was my fling, keeps texting me. He was nice and respectful, and I had some good first times with him. When he was with me he said he slept with around 12-18 girls, which is fine, but just 9 months later, he claimed to have slept with 109 girls, and he claims to be adding new ones. My total number is 10. He wants me to "hang out" and do things with him and his friends / lovers, but I am not sure I want to. I am more liberal than before, but I feel like having sex with 109 partners (if he is telling the truth) at age 21 is way too much. And the std risk. Even if he gets tested, with each new partner its a risk again. Usually I can cut off men quickly from my life, and I moved on from my long term ex and other men. But I just can't seem to block him and move on, and I don't know why. We never even dated, just like friends with benefits, so idk if I can even "break up with him." Thoughts? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Is there a specific moment from your childhood that you wish you could go back to and relive with your adult mind? Think Butterfly effect style. I got one... POST: I thought of this recently. When I was in grade 4 - ish, during recess I remember being called a ni**er by a grade 4 student. I am not black, I am brown, but that's not the point. The intention is the same, and a grade 4's bigotry vocab only goes so far. Anyhow the Canadian city I was born and raised in was ~99% white, basically the only non-white students in my school at the time were myself and my brother and sister. I was pretty upset because I had never really experienced someone calling attention to me being different, especially negatively. **Anyhow here is the WTF moment:** After observing no remorse/apology from the kid who called me a ni***r, I decided to mention this incident to the vice-principal when I saw him during lunch. I explained the incident and how it upset me. He nodded but didn't say much. After I was done presenting my case, he looks down at me at says, >"So what exactly do you want me to do TtheGodfather? What do you want me to do about it?" I was speechless. How is a 10 year old suppose to answer that question? Why is the vice administrator of a K-12 school asking a 10 year old that question? If I could go back I would tell the fuck to discipline the kid, in the same way I was disciplined when I did something wrong. I got calls home multiple times (all justified) for far less severe behaviour. And for this kid? Nothing. Not even a talking to by a teacher or anything. After typing this all out it seems like I am overreacting. When I thought about it, it did seem odd though. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining TITLE: My dog (2yr female dachshund) immediately begins crying when I stop walking? POST: So a little background: My dog is an adopted 2 year old dachshund (weiner dog:P). Perfectly trained other than this one issue: Whenever we're out somewhere, she immediately starts crying when I stop moving for any amount of time (except before crossing streets). I've literally tried everything I know, nothing works. If I ignore the whining, she'll get louder and louder before starting to howl. Longest I could go was about 20 minutes while sitting on the grass in a park, she cried non stop. I correct her, she stops for about 5 seconds and starts again. I can repeat this process for hours and the behaviour will never stop. She never whines under any other circumstances, ever. She's super well-behaved otherwise, loves being in her crate at night and when I'm at work (she actually cries at the door when she wants to go inside the crate - I never have to ask or show her to go into it). As far as I can tell, she has almost no separation anxiety. She'll cry for about 2-3 minutes at most and go to sleep when I leave the house. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by jinxing my cousin. POST: My cousin recently came over from Vietnam and one of the first things he was able to accomplish was getting his drivers license. He passed the driving test in one try and would not stop boasting about it (I failed my first driving test for going 10 miles under the speed limit for being too nervous). Fast forward a week he wants to drive me everywhere now and so I device to let him drive me to the gym. We approach this light and I kid you not, he stops at a yellow light which he had plenty of time to pass, and decides to go once the light had turn red. I definitely felt unsafe in his car and said, "well shit man with the way you drive, I'll bet 100$ that you'll crash before we even get home." and at this exact moment after I said this, he stupidly avoids a car two lanes away while making a u turn and makes a full impact into a tree on my side, so my head slaps against the glove compartment and bounces right back into the seat like a boomerang, and now I'm over here trying to comprehend what had just happened while waiting for the tow truck to arrive. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I feel my british boyfriend [27 M] from 3 months is not enough affectionate with me [27 F]. I am from south america POST: Hello, I am from south america living in England. Just a small comment regarding my relationship with a british guy. We live in different cities so we can only meet on weekends, but while I enjoy displaying affection toward him (hugs, kisses) he is usually more reserved, and also a bit quiet (unless he had a couple of pints...). I feel I really like him, but I frequently doubt he may feel the same way, especially if he struggles to express it. He does plan a lot about our weekends together, booking places and looking for walks, museums, etc! but when we are together I don't feel he is affectionate enough :( I am running a bit tired of it, especially since requires a lot of effort to move constantly to meet each other. You think it may be a cultural difference of some sort? Did anyone went through a similar situation? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of 6 months, I just found out recently that I am 2 months pregnant and he isn't happy about it. POST: Some background information: I moved 400 miles away from my family and bought a house about 2 years ago. Just bought a new car at the beginning of this year. i have been doing good financially. after expenses, i save 700 each month, have 15,000 savings. my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months. I just found out for sure that i am almost 2 months pregnant. I found out about a week ago, and told him a few days ago. He wasn't very happy about the news and it caused some problems. I am not sure where things are going to go from here. what do i do? I want to keep the baby, but not sure if i can do it on my own. I want him around, i really love him. he loves me too, but neither of us wanted kids right now and it is putting a strain on our relationship. He knows i would never consider abortion, and that i wouldn't be able to give the baby up for adoption. how do we get through this? is there anything i should or shouldnt say to him? should i wait until he is ready to talk about it? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: How can some companies (like Frye's) get away with stuff like this? Or what are some horrible retail repackaging stories you have? POST: This just popped into my head after reading a couple of other threads, and I got curious. A couple years ago I bought something used from Fry's. A processor, I think. Yes, I know it's stupid. That's what I told my dad, too (I was building him a PC at the time but he wanted to cut corners). Anyway, we get it home, and the computer doesnt turn on. After unplugging and plugging in everything and swapping stuff out with another machine, we figured out the CPU was what was messing it up. So the next day, I return the processor. I was asked what was wrong, and I replied with "It doesn't work." And even pointed out some physical flaws in the CPU. The girl who took the CPU was like "Ok!" and just printed out another price sticker on it, sealed it up, and set it back on the shelf. I was like wtf. So how can companies do this? You bring back something that is broken, and they just resell it. Is it because they dont want to have to take the time to deal with checking for themselves and would rather deal with the return? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: Getting active by playing like a kid? POST: I've lost about 8 lbs in the last couple months through diet changes, but I know I need exercise as well. However, I really, really hate running! Yesterday my husband and I picked up a frisbee and went to a park to throw it around, and it felt like surprisingly good exercise. I started thinking maybe I could stay active by doing things I used to do as a kid - shoot hoops, kick a soccer ball around, play tag - has anyone had any success doing this sort of thing? I figure I'd still be doing stretching & lifting for other aspects of fitness, and maybe the occasional jog, but it sounds so much more fun to just go out and play. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Childhood friend [F25] wanted a closer relationship with me [M24] but now is backing off. Help. POST: So we've known each other since 2nd grade. Lost contact after 5th. Found each other around 16-17, she went off to college and we started to Skype and show body parts. We became a couple shortly before that. She came back down about a year later and ended up being with another guy. He treated her bad and eventually after some years she finally ended it. It's been almost a year since then. We've been flirting over the past year, but about 2 months ago she really became interested in a fwb type relationship. I was okay with that and it was awesome even though it never quite got to the point of full on sex. About 3 weeks ago though she started making excuses, cancelling times to meet, etc. Now she's saying that she's feeling pressured and isn't sure if we're on the same page since she doesn't want a relationship and she thinks I do. I'll admit, it would be nice but it's not needed. I just enjoy her company in general. She says that when we get physical she's great with it until she leaves, then she "crashes emotionally". I told her I'm okay with just being there since I do just enjoy her company and the fwb part was just a plus. Yes, I do love her. Both as a friend and a woman. Yes, she means a lot to me. Yes, it feels like I just got sucker punched but I still saw it coming. Yes, she has some stuff to work through with her family using a lot of her time and still wonders if I would hurt her emotionally. I still want to be there because I'm maybe blinded because it feels so right to us both when we're together. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (22m) said some disparaging things to a friend (19f) two years ago. I never apologised but a few months later we continued to talk, our relationship has never recovered to that original point, should I apologise? POST: I was going through a bad patch in my life, about two years ago. I was the typical loser, failed College (UK), no job etc, while she was doing the complete opposite. I told her that I disliked being around her because of this, she told me she was sorry but she wouldn't change and it was not her problem (rightly so). Four months later I said hello to her on Facebook she responded and we just continued to talk but I never brought the past up and neither did she. To be honest, straight away I wondered if I should apologise but as time went on it felt weirder to bring it up again. Anytime we talk it's always me who instigates the conversation. I feel as if there's this distance between us still and i'm wondering what to do. I was thinking saying something like, "do you remember two years ago when I said some stuff to you, I never apologised, I shouldn't have said what I said, I was going through a bad time but it doesn't excuse it. So I just wanted to say I am sorry." TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: 19 year old and Roth IRA POST: Hey everyone, long time lurker here needing some advice. I've done some reading but this is my first time doing any type of investing so I want to make sure I'm not screwing anything up. I just set up two accounts with Vanguard, one of them being a Roth IRA and the other is just a general savings account. Both of these accounts will be used to contribute to Vanguard's TR 2060. Is this a good strategy for somebody my age? I currently make around $500-600 a month working part-time and plan on contributing as much as possible to these two accounts. Fortunately, my parents are able to cover most of my expenses and if nothing tragic happens, I should be able to graduate debt free. Anyways, just want to thank this sub for being a great source of info. You guys are great! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: (TO) Bought an exhaust 4 months ago, have not been called back regarding shipment progress/info. Can I get a refund? POST: I live in Toronto, Canada and I bought a $800 exhaust from an aftermarket parts dealer (which I will not name) back in early January 2016. I paid in full on my Debit card because it was part of a "No Tax" sale. I bought the part personally from the owner in the store and he said it would be a couple weeks for shipment. I called in mid-February and some random employee said he didn't know anything about my shipment, but that he would take my info down and have the owner call me back when he got back from vacation. Fast forward to this morning, I called back inquiring about my shipment...another random employee answers and tells me he knows absolutely nothing about my exhaust and that he would take my info again and have the owner call me back at 1:00pm when he got back in from lunch. I don't receive a call for the rest of the day and at this point I'm fed up and I want my money back. There is nothing convincing me that this purchase will end well. Do I have legitimate grounds to walk into the store and demand a full refund? I have a printed receipt and the original invoice that the owner wrote "Paid" on with pen, and I can definitely go into my bank records and find the proof of purchase. Is there any way that the store can refuse a refund even though I haven't received anything? If they attempt to refuse, can I argue back to get a refund? Side note: I understand that you need to be patient but I feel like my money has been stolen and I won't be receiving my product in the near future. I don't plan on going in there and blasting them, I'm content will walking in and respectfully asking for my money back. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18 M] with my GF [19 F] of 2 months, She has told me that she genuinely doesn't feel like she deserves me. Is there anything I can do to help? POST: I'm 18 years old and she's actually my first girlfriend. I know "putting her on a pedestal" is a really common wrong thing guys my age do, so I'm trying to avoid it while still complimenting her and telling her how much she means to me. I've been doing my best to be really patient and understanding with her, which probably doesn't totally help because she feels guilty after she realizes she hasn't acted well. Am I pandering to her too much? Is there anything I can do to improve her self esteem so she doesn't feel this way? I'd hate for something as silly as this to get in between us because we make each other extremely happy. Thanks in advance for the help! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 M] with my GF [17 F] of a month, Focus on all of her imperfections when we're together, but when she's gone I miss her intensely. POST: I used to be a pretty big loner before me and my ex had gotten together, but now i think that i'm possibly scared of being alone. I was in a relationship of 2+ years, and it went bad quick. I ended up heart broken and depressed. Since being broken up with my ex of 2+ years i've become depressed, and i've done all the things to do to help get over it, and to move on, but none of them have made any real impacts. Life for the most part has just become very drab, and mind dulling boring to me. I was never able to develop any strong feelings for the next girl I dated. I'd be with her, and i'd just think about the things i wish were different about her, and then when she was gone I would think that I missed her. But I couldn't develop any feelings for her. Now I'm dating a new girl. I think my current GF is beautiful, and i think she's pretty great all around. However, when we're together i just focus on her imperfections, the same as I did with my previous girlfriend. I feel like i'm just using her in a lot of ways as company. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Please Help - Step-Aunt Stealing From Me After Grandma's Death POST: I live in Fairview, MI. and I really need some advice here. I was an unpaid live-in caregiver for my Grandma and Step-Grandpa for the last two years. Grandma died in July so Grandpa decided to move in with his sister and auction off all his personal property. He put me in charge of his estate, we filed the paperwork granting me full power of attorney, and he moved in with his sister. He has Alzheimer's so his daughter (my Step-Aunt) took over his finances (although I still have full power of attorney). It was agreed between my Grandpa, his daughter, and I would receive half of the proceeds from both the auction and any other personal property sold. The reasons being that I took care of them for two years, ppoured the entirety of my savings into their finances to bail them out of a bad financial spot back when I first moved in, and that I deserved some sort of inheritance when my Grandma passed. This is where things get messed up. My Grandpa's brother bought his tractor from him for $2500. I was supposed to receive half. He sent the money to my step-aunt who was supposed to mail my half to me. She kept the whole amount instead, supposedly to help pay Grandpa's debts. Not only that but she's now trying to tell me that her lawyer says I'm to stop removing items from the house for the auction. I don't know what to do here Reddit. Where do I stand legally? Help please? I probably would have just washed my hands of this but the situation with my Grandparents left me destitute and the job market here is nil. I desperately need that money to survive through the winter until I can start a seasonal job next spring. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I'm at a weird point in life POST: 6 years ago (when i was 18) I went into college scared to be myself, and that made it hard to know what i wanted to go to school for. i was planning on majoring in engineering, but only because that's what my dad did, and i have a knack for math. i did not even think about what i was interested in. anyway, at college i was able to make friends and study damn hard and things went okay for 5 semesters or so. i slowly lost that groove, fueled by an alcohol and weed problem, and i found that i could not get myself to classes. this was embarrassing, and that made it hard to socialize, which made it harder to go to class, which was even more embarrassing.....yeeeahh. so things tumbled and my bad habits worsened, and suddenly i'm rendered into a fat, lazy, socially awkward loser. I dropped out since i thought maybe if i came home i'd "find myself", or fix my problems, or get a job. Nope. two years go by of hiding from my respected high school friends, getting drunk by myself every night, and doing nothing all day. Eventually i sock up the courage to get a job, but only at my uncle's lumber shop. i reconnected with my friends from HS, but only the close two or three bros. and i was able to get a grip on my drinking, but only a grip. i still toked up a couple times a day. a few months ago my dad, 60 years old, was diagnosed with a rare cancer, and will only have 5-10 years of life left. now i find myself pressured to figure out what i want to do with my life so i can move on and make my dad proud. but i still smoke, i still drink, and i'm still scared of the world. how do i go back to school when i'm this weird 24 year old? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Our relationship is slowly falling apart Me[26m] and [25f] POST: A little background: Me and my girlfriend have been together on and off for almost 2 years. We have had our ups and downs and have broken up a few times. When I met her she had a legitimate job. She had told me before we got together that she used to be a stripper, but didn't want that lifestyle anymore. Recently we broke up for about a month and she went back to being a stripper. I have no problem with her choice of profession. So heres the problem. We just recently got back together and she doesn't want to have any sexual contact with me (other than kissing and hugging) for a while. That bothers me because I feel like she gives more attention/physical attention to her clients than she does me. It makes me feel less important to her than the money she's getting from her customers. Another problem we are having is that she's been stressed out lately about her living situation and life in general and her attitude towards me reflects these emotions. She yells at me..and just generally has a rude attitude towards me because of her situation. It really bothers me because she says she only acts this way because she's stressed, but when she goes to work I'm pretty sure she doesn't treat her customers the same way. Again making me feel less than them. So am I being too uptight about the situation or maybe over thinking it to much? If anyone could give me some advice that would be great. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (20f) mother (47f) is against gay marriage and makes anti gay remarks around my niece (1f). POST: Title says it. My mom and brother are both very against gay marriage and express it verbally in front of my one year old niece (my family raises her) who has a gay uncle. It started yesterday when my mom was talking about getting her hair cut. Her stylist had a gay man wash my moms hair. The family was in the car and my mom said, "I hate it when Jessi has that joto (don't know exactly what it means but it's basically an anti gay name for homosexuals) wash my hair!" I told her she needs to stop saying things like that especially in front of the baby. My brother chimed in and said "he is what he is". My mom then said, "I'm not a liberal" to which I replied, "it doesn't mean you have to be judgmental". Then my mom said "it's not me judging" referring to the bible. I told her to stop saying that word or make any kind of anti gay comments in front of the baby because she does have an uncle who is gay. I told her to keep her comments to herself because I don't want the baby to be raised to hate people. We got home and that was the end of the conversation. What can I do? The baby is at that age where she mimics everything we say and I don't want her to learn that word then go and repeat it to her uncle. Not only that, I don't want her to grow up hating people because of sexual orentation. I'm not against gay marriage at all what-so-ever but I'm living in a house that's very anti gay. What can I do, if anything at all, to make my niece stray away from that way of thinking? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [26F] Broke up with cheating ex [27M], we lived together. How do I make him pay half of the expenses he owes? I have to break NC and I'm dreading it (96 days NC) POST: My ex D, and I lived together for 2 years. Everything went well, we got along awesome. D started to act a little strange, and it turns out D was active on dating sites and you know the rest. He hid all Facebook posts and pictures from me so they wouldn't see them etc... I printed off the evidence, and broke it off and left the house we shared that week. He lived there for 1 month by himself. For the past 2 years the bills would get automatically paid from my account and he would just give me half of that money with half the rent. I got the final bills from the apt complex and the bills got paid automatically. I want him to pay what he owes from that last month he lived there by himself because I don't feel it's fair I pay for him since he was cheating on me. Also, I am 95% sure he will pay what he owes due to past behavior. I was thinking of sending a Message with something like: "Hey D, the final bills arrived and the total you owe is $ X, I attach a scanned copy of the receipts. Please pay the full amount by the Xth(date) at (my paypal). Thanks!" Would this be a good way to phrase it? I haven't contacted him in 96 days at all. I have him blocked everywhere, but I thought about unblocking him on Facebook to send this. Any advice on how to handle this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [36M] with my Wife [36F] - How do I end a relationship with a highly unstable wife - we have a two year old son POST: Married for 10 years, relationship has always had it's ups and downs. We have separated twice before, but always seem to come back together. The relationship doesn't work, neither of us are happy (no physical contact, fight every day, a lot of unhappiness). I am losing motivation to do anything everyday, I just want out at this stage. I want her to be happy and I want to be happy. We have a 2 year old son who I love very much, I don't want him growing up learning that our relationship is what to expect. While mentally I am not in the relationship - how do I go about actually ending this? I have told her how I feel and she ends up getting extremely angry initially and then comes back with an immediate charm offensive (it is an emotional roller coaster). I feel that as I get closer to walking away the harder it actually becomes. I am sure she can feel the difference in the relationship and responds with trying harder in the short term to makes thing better (which in the past I have fallen for). Any advice, tips on how to end a relationship with a highly emotional wife who is not going to take this well (history of depression, we have done a lot of counselling together which often ended with her in one-on-one sessions due to self-confidence and anger issues). I am in no way perfect myself, but I do worry about her. She has a history of major over reactions to the smallest issues resulting in poor decisions. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: 26, no GED/Diploma. Making 50k+ a year, but would rather have an education. Advice?! POST: Got Home Skooled... kind of. The schooling part ended while I was a pre-teen that got my hands on a TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Not sure what I(17M) should do regarding the friendship I have with this girl (17F) POST: So, to start this all off, this girl and I have been friends for four years, since 8th grade, where we "dated" and then just became really really good friends. Every relationship she had, I'd help her out with and vice versa. Since the start of 2013, we have both gradually shown more interest in the other. We both think the other one is really attractive, and both know that the other thinks that. Also, we both know that if we get alone, we'll end up making out. Each time we have hung out with friends and watch a movie, because we don't have cars, we end up cuddling and getting relatively touchy-feely. Now, I have 2 main problems. Problem One is that she doesn't want a legitimate relationship, or to start a "thing" with anyone, even though we already sorta have something going on. We've established that we're just friends, but she has said that if I initiate something, she wouldn't say no. Also, we're going to Prom together as friends, except I didn't really know we were just going as friends until she told my friend, who told me. Thats the second problem. The second problem is that as of today, she likes another guy, and considers me really clingy but would make out with me if It didn't mean anything. She told all those things to my friend, who told me without her knowing, so she doesn't know that I know these things. Gotta love High School. Also you should know how I feel about her right now: I just want to make out with her at this point, earlier I considered dating her but now since things have become stressful I don't think I could date her. I need a way of telling her that If we made out, it wouldn't mean anything beyond mutual attraction. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Just had a bout with the bf that made me realize that sometimes I'm a SEXUALLY Awkward Penguin. What are your embarrassing moments that made you *almost have sex instead of actually having it? POST: EDIT: Sorry I didn't get to finish my story, the bf came in to try again. Long story short...it was too late, moment over. As a disclaimer, we have sex at least 5 times a week, so it's not like things are bad... Tonight, however, he comes in, I'm a little loopy and tired. Lays down and says to hop on. I asked if we could cuddle for a minute first and let him know that he'd have to pull out since the bc is off. That sparked his fear of "is it gonna start, will there be blood?!" I assured him no, but in my efforts to lighten the mood I got giggly and started rambling and telling jokes that just aren't sexy. It was so awkward at that point, we parted ways and he went into the other room. He came back in after I started this post, dropped his pants, and said to try again. Tried, but there wasn't a boner to be had, lady or man. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: We make each other happy, but she has a thing for another guy. Do I make a relationship anyways? POST: Hello, everyone. I've been fighting myself over this ball of knotted string for a while now... I'm a college guy, 21, male, and I've known this girl, let's call her Sarah, for about 3 years now, she's 20, and we both live on campus, albeit at opposite sides of it (only a 15-20 minute walk away, though). We weren't really solid friends until the past year, and in the past month we've been finding a special spark between us. The topic of relationships, especially between us, has come up and here are the details of the situation: Sarah had this fling 2 years ago with a guy, whom we will call David (male, on campus, also around 20), it was a one sided relationship where she would sit in his room and wait for him to stop studying and playing video games, and then they would fool around. They got around to 2nd base. She said, even though it seems like nothing is going to happen between him and her, everytime she sees him, she gets a spark of hope that something MIGHT happen. She also says that she has considered a relationship with me, before, but she's had bad experiences trying to be with another guy with David still on her mind like this. We make each other happy, our friends recognize we make each other happy... I really want this to work, so do I try to make a relationship out of this and show how being with me trumps anything she could have with David, or do I wait it out and let her sort through and overcome her feelings? On a related note, since this chat where she said she is wary of trying something with David on her mind, she has been giving me signals hinting at affection when we go out to do things- which is why I think moving into a relationship is a possibility. Thanks for taking the time to read. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19M] with my GF [19F] 1 year, Just found out that my College GF who lives in another state will be transferring for the fall. POST: So me and my gf met in the very beginning of freshman year and think escalated very quickly and have been dating for almost 10 months. I'm not going to go into many details but we have both been in relationships before and we both feel as if we really have a future. She has helped me with life more than I thought anyone ever could. Even though her parents are pretty well off, they don't have enough liquid capital so fund her next year of college and she has been denied every scholarship/loan available so she will not be returning. She lives across the country so the future of this relationship is pretty non existent without school. Everything reminds me of her when I look around. Even in my hometown I will be in a place that I remember sending her a picture of, talking to her about, etc. Losing her is like losing apart of me and I don't know how to cope with this. Even though i'm young I just really feel like she was the one and I just don't know how to deal with this. She was the one who encouraged me to get mentally evaluated to deal with my mental illness. Im sorry if this is pretty badly structured but i'm just so lost...... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Does he [30/M] have a live in girlfriend he's not telling me [24/F] about? POST: Hi All, I've been seeing this guy on and off for the past few months. He is frequently busy with work (though now I'm dubious about this given the information below) and we will go weeks without seeing each other. He had me over his place for the first time last night. A few things stood out for me and makes me think he has a live-in girlfriend he's not telling me about - When I gave the doorman the apartment number he asked if I was there to see "Jenny". Looked surprised when I said Kevin - Yellow bathrobe on the bathroom door - looks very feminine - Lululemon shopping bag in the bedroom (do men shop at lululemon?) - Female toiletries (hairdryer, deodorant) in the bathroom - Very feminine reading glasses on the bed side table So reddit, what do you think? Am I reading too much into it? If he does have a gf - would love advice about how to call him out on it in an awesome way. I have asked him flat out if he was single in the past and he said yes, so he deserves to know he's an asshole if this is true. As someone who has been cheated on before, I wonder if there is anything I should do to try and tell the girlfriend? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFW by not checking the conviction box in a job application POST: (UPDATE) I called before confirming the background check email and told him about the drinking ticket. He sounded dissapointed but called me his friend at the end of the phone call. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. Either way at least I will know what is on my record when all this is done I have a minor one for drinking under the age of 21. I had the interview on friday of last week. The interview went awesome I nailed it. Literally best interview i have ever had. I wasn't nervous I was completely calm. On a couple occasions I made both interviewers laugh and one even went so far as to tell me that I reminded him of himself when he was younger "many moons ago". They went as far as to talk to me about retirement plans, im a 20 year old college dropout. They went as far as to tell me there is a sales position currently open if I would be interested. I just got a call from the contact and he asked for my licence number so he can run a background check. I gave him the number. FML TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by clipping my fingernails POST: So it had been a long day with the wife and I was finally ready to sit on my porcelain throne and relax for a good 15 minutes. Instead of my usual Redditing that I did during my defecation I figured I would clip my finger nails and toe nails to pass the time and clear my mind. Well 10 toes down, things were going great. My toes were looking all sexy again and I was feeling confident for the first time in forever. Something about toe clipping changes a man. Well now I moved on to the fingers. I had positioned myself far back on the seat so there was an open space between the rim of the seat and my pubic area. 4 fingers down and I was feeling great about myself to a greater extent, almost done with one hand. Well, my other hand decided it was jealous and wanted to be a dick. He wasn't patient enough and tried to get his nails clipped sooner by giving the clippers to the other hand. Neither my other hand or I knew this was going to happen and the clipped clumsily fell into the toilet that I had left my waste in. I look down to see my shiny clippers now coated in a brown matter that I had zero motivation to touch. Panicked and with my alone time running out before my wife or kids knocked on the door, I did the only logical thing. I flushed the toilet. I waited and flushed again and now the toilet is overflowing. I admitted what I did to my wife to which she laughed thinking I was kidding, lost her happy gaze when she realized I wasn't, and now won't talk to me until I fix it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26M/M] with my Friend[25M] Bachelor party advice, short-description POST: Heyo! getting married in like 3 weeks! My bachelor party is this weekend and we have been planning it since Feb. My friends run the spectrum as far as incomes go from completely unemployed to making 6 figures. I knew that going in, so i made sure to ask everyone multiple times if they could make it, and made sure to impart that declining was not a slight in any way etc. I also made sure that the party would be super budget friendly (200.00PP all inclusive for a weekend at a cabin), and am throwing my own money in to help out so that everyone could attend. At this point, 1 person has not paid at all. I have texted and texted and called and he keeps dodging me (we've been friends for 8 years), and finally i got a hold of him and he said he has the money and asked to just give me the cash when we meet up on friday. This would normally be fine, but this guy is HORRIBLE with money, hes unemployed and also puts things off forever. I normally just factor covering for him into my own cost projection for an event or activity so i dont get mad about him borrowing money and never paying back. this time, i really want him to pay. I am about to get married, and also am grown up and set expectations months ago and he was 100% in to pay. What should i do if he arrives at the cabin and doesnt have the money? im guessing there will be a 60% chance he doesnt have it or all of it? Thanks! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning TITLE: Wedding planner is helping me feel sane already POST: I had originally planned to do almost everything DIY. We have a small budget for the bay area (10k) and had posted for a caterer on Thumbtack. We had quite a few quotes but I had the best connection with one. They had excellent yelp reviews and were a thumbtack vendor of the year as well. I looked at the company website and they are a "full service" event company that can work with our venue (a park). Their quote for food was a totally reasonable $20 per person for bbq! In light of this I asked about their rates for day of coordinating and she said she would throw in FULL coordinating services if we used them for two services. We can rent the speaker system and that will count as the second service! Around here I couldn't find a DOC for less than $1500 and now I'm essentially getting a full coordinator for $75 bucks! I was starting to panic about how challenging it would be to plan a wedding while we remodel a house but now I feel like I'm in safe hands. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Am I being unfair? POST: So this is the story : I paid 700$ for my laptop and I use it everyday and go on it most of the time. I let my sister go on it most of the time whenever she needs it. I also let her take it to school on some important days where she really needs it, no problem. But now she wants to take it 2x a week every week! And I said that's impossible and crazy no way! But then I made a deal with her saying that If she would owe me 10mins a week to wash my dishes I'd let her take it. Then comes the week she has to wash, and makes a fuss about it saying were family and whatnot and my mom agrees with her saying she shouldn't have to wash my dishes. So then I made it to 7 minutes a week and she's still not happy. So the question here is : Am I being unfair? Or is she being a dick? Anyone have any suggestions? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, for the past 4 months I haven't received a single job offer? What can I do to improve my chances? POST: A little background.. I am 24, a sophomore at Georgia Gwinnett College. I currently work at Home Depot. I am ready to leave Home Depot, but I have been looking for jobs online without much luck. I had my resume revised by the career center at my college and they said it was impressive, especially for the time and what I have done in the past (which are various jobs with my 6+ years at Home Depot). I understand that the job market is pretty tough right now, so I am sticking through as long as I can. But today I realized that Home Depot is NOT the place for me anymore and I am ready to try something new, that is not retail. Side tracked here: I were these stupid badges that say I speak Spanish, Portuguese and French on my apron at work. A lady was asking me how I know how to speak all those langauges, and then she tested me (She was from Haiti, and we have a full blown converstation in French.) and asked me "Why, someone like me that knows multiple languages, is stuck working at Home Depot?" That's where I started to wonder that I can use my skill at something a little less "retaily" and something with better pay. Back to my story.. I know that I am going to do great things in my life considering that I am going to school maintaining at 3.81 GPA in International Business **and** Finance. I want to prove that I can do it, and that I will be succesful in life, and I cannot do that at Home Depot. So AskReddit, what options do I have so that I can take my career to the next level where I know I can be at? and just in case... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [20M] with my girlfriend [19F] and her college roommate/friend [18F] annoyed with our relationship? POST: Hello Redditors, So a bit back I met this girl who goes to college fairly close to me, we ended up talking A LOT. Now I've never been one to believe in it - but with what we've both been through, it was love at first sight. Now we've dating for about a month, and it's the best relationship I've ever been in and I'm beyond happy, and so is she. Now, it accidentally slipped out that I told her "I love you" and I was scared I was going to scare her away - but a few days later she called me really late at night just to tell me she loves me and she feels the same way. Now whenever I go and visit her (I spend nights over at her dorm) her roommate is nice and stuff. But, I've heard on the phone when I hang up with her she tells me "I love you more" and in the background I hear her roommate say "would you 2 stop it!" Not only that but she wrote a cute message on her own whiteboard calendar for me to see and her roommate erased it. It shouldn't bother me but it really does. It's like we're not allowed to be happy or something. So what it's happening fast - when you know you know. My girlfriend isn't going to let it bother her because it's her friend and she doesn't want to start anything. I don't know what to do. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: How can I (20) get closure from a recent ex (21)? POST: Sorry if the title is odd but I don't know where else to seek help. My ex (M,21) broke up with me (F,20) yesterday over text. He suggested meeting up but quickly changed his mind. Today, I contacted him asking if he wants his stuff back but he hasn't responded. I was wondering if sending his stuff with a letter explaining my side would be too much? We were going out for about 4 months and have made it official around 3 months ago. Everyone (including me) thought that we had chemistry and were a good match. We took a little weekend trip with two of my friends last month and according to him, he was thinking of breaking up with me prior to that. This whole situation is confusing because I feel if we had the chance to properly communicate about our (mostly his) problems, it wouldn't have ended so oddly. Sorry for going off on a tangent, there are many details but I don't want to bore anyone. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by saving my friend and now I'm gonna get my ass kicked POST: My friend and I were supposed to meet two kids in the park who had beef with us and wanted a fair fight to end it all. We decided that we should just go so we could get it all over with right then. Instead of the kids who were supposed to come they sent their goon friends who wanted to fight us instead. I'm the smaller of my friends, so my larger friend gets called over into the field by one of the larger kids, so he goes over, accepting that hes going to have his ass whooped. I decided not to go over right away, because I am hesitant to walk into an unfair fight that I know I will lose (the kid was probably 3 inches taller than me and easily 30 pounds heavier). Shortly after I'm hesitate to go over he shouts "Hey, pussy If you don't come over no one is going to fight." This makes pussying out alot easier for me, becasue by doing so I save myself and my friend. So I refuse to go over. The kid now respects my friend who went over and was willing to fight, and instead wants to kick my ass now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: (Update) Am I (24F) to feel upset that bf (24M) refuses to spend Xmas with my family? POST: My first post didn't get much traffic but thank you for your advice. Previous post: Quick rundown was that my bf was being an arse about spending Xmas with my family, even though they get on, just because. I was after a bit of advice on whether to try a bit more or give up. Now: My bf was being so frustrating that I told him not to bother to come. He went away and came back later and said he wanted to because he realised how much I wanted it. I told my parents and all was good. Haha but not really. The last few days have been a range of "I'm doing this for you so you should do this for me" and "if you don't do this then I won't do that". I went along with it though I had that feeling that told me he wouldn't end up coming. And he didn't. He woke up this morning in a huge grumpy state. It took me an hour after the time he said he had to get up to get him to get out of bed, literally 15 minutes before we had to leave. He then had a mad dash shower and got dressed whilst bitching that I was making him do something he didn't want to. I told him over and over not to come but he just kept complaining and getting ready. He then ended up sitting and crying that it was all his anxiety, despite telling me numerous times it wasn't over the last few days. I'm not convinced. I know him and I think he was just trying to find a way out that meant I'd feel sorry for him. After his behaviour this last few days I feel like I'll have to rethink things. He has been childish at best. Merry Christmas X TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/books TITLE: With the announcement of the new book, I'll go ahead and say this: I loved the ending to The Dark Tower. POST: [In case you haven't heard.] **Spoilers, if you haven't finished the series, read no further, you've been warned!** I liked the ending. IMO, it was one of the best endings I've ever read. I didn't like *everything* about it. For instance, the Crimson King was so anti-climactic. But I understand what SK was going for. The King was mad, absolutely insane in his solitude. All his power lied in influencing weaker beings, he had no true power by the time Roland got to him. I wasn't a fan of how the ka-tet was killed off, either, but I feel it was inevitable. Mostly, I didn't like seeing these characters I'd come to love over the past 10 years or so killed off. But they had to die, that was the story. It was their destiny. But the actual ending, the part after King warns you to stop reading, was brilliant. It fits perfectly with the final verse of the poem The Dark tower was based on, [Child Roland to the Dark Tower Came.] (What a great poem, and I don't even like poetry especially!) The idea that Ka was a wheel, that "everything has happened before and it will happen again" hit me like a bag of bricks. Now, while I read more than anyone I know here in the trailer park, I have no doubt that most of you all are much more well read than I. I never went past High School, and was high the whole time there. So I might not be nearly as qualified as those of you who didn't like it, but I feel my opinion still counts for something. And I understand why others might not have liked it. I truly see the criticisms, and they are all valid, I just happen to disagree with them. Personally, I can't wait for the next book. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (26m) new girlfriend's (22f) mom has cancer, and I don't know what to do. POST: I have been dating/talking to this girl for about 2-3 months now. We hit it off fairly quickly and get along really well. We share a lot of mutual interests (music type, favorite sports team)... Even our worldview lines up pretty well. She is a gorgeous girl who I enjoy being around. Here is the issue... She is going through a lot at home right now. Her mom has cancer and the doctors are not very optimistic with her condition. I feel like a dick even typing this, but her telling me about the troubles at home is stressing me out. She is seeing a therapist which of course I support, but when I hear about the troubles at home I have this overwhelming feeling too run away from the conversation. What to I do? Am I wrong for feeling this way? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Landlord hasn't done much to restore my apartment from water damage (almost 2 weeks )[AZ] POST: At the beginning of august, a major water leak flooded my restroom and seeped into the walls and vents. Immediately upon incident I called the front office of my apartment to report it. It took almost 15minutes to get a hold of someone. My roommate had to hunt down a grounds keeper to officially turn off the water. The water didn't destroy any of our stuff, thankfully. But, the manager of my apartment complex wanted to wait for it to dry before they did anything to it. Fast forward a week, the apartment was hard to live in. The whole place smelled like mold and me and my roommate are forced to live outside of the apartment with friends. I don't have renters insurance, so I was living in my car for a short time. In phoenix, the weather is unbearable. So, I was uncomfortable and annoyed about our situation. Immediately on monday morning i went to the office to get a timeline of when we could move back in. But, nothing was planned. The manager kept saying were "busy." I had to raise a fuss about the smell and how unbearable the conditions were in the apartment. Then, a grounds keeper came in to replace the ceiling with new dry wall. Next day, a carpet cleaner came in to clean the rug. After the touch-ups, me and my roommate waited for the paint and rug to dry. We waited for a three days just to make sure everything was okay. I walked in and realized the mold was still present. It continued to smell musty. I told the apartment complex that the restorations haven't been completed yet. No one has done anything at the office to help us. Today, I walked into the office to request a new unit. The only thing I keep hearing is, "Ill speak to the manager about it and get back to you." In the end, I never hear from them. I'm not sure what else to do... What are my rights as a tenant? I know for a fact, the manager of the apartment complex hasn't honored their side of our rental agreement. I just want to move back into my apartment and relax. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Myself [23 M] just mutually broke up with my GF [20 F] of a year. Perfect relationship but long distance. How do I cope with this? POST: We had to mutually agree to break up as she was missing me every single day we were apart (also a medical condition didn't help this). The problem is, when we were together the relationship was PERFECT. We have both commented before on what an amazing connection we had and that we might be each others soul mates in life, but the reality was there were more days she was unhappy missing me than experiencing the brilliant relationship. That made me sad we agreed to end it, regrettably. I can't seem to get over her as I have never had a relationship that close to perfection, I can't move to live with her because of work (for the next couple of years), I don't want to do no-contact because I'm scared we'll fade away and never speak again. I was up all night last night thinking about her and she has mentioned she is missing me too, but it cannot be. Any advice on how to deal with this or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks guys TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I[27/F] have had to return temporarily to the apartment with my exbf [26/M] who is seeing other people. POST: Two weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I could tell he was pushing me away. (thread [here] There were a lot of other things said, but I think it came down to commitment and wanting to date other people. I left the apartment we shared for two weeks in order to gather my thoughts and strength. However, I love the city we lived in and have some job prospects. Because my name is still on the lease, I've returned temporarily long enough to find another apartment and move my stuff. Based on what he said during our discussion,texts I found sealing my decision to break up with him, I'm pretty sure he's seeing other people. It's strange to me that he's so eager to get back into "the game," but I suppose that's a personal difference. So, I'm curious if any of you wise people have any advice on how to deal with this situation. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (24f) want my ex (36m) back...bad idea? POST: So, my ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We spoke back and forth for maybe 3 weeks then cut off all communication. It's been a month since we texted...we both have each other's numbers blocked so I don't know if he has tried to contact me. It wasn't a malicious thing on my end...I just felt like I couldn't move on because he kept texting me "I still love you" or "I want to hold you" out of the blue. I told him I loved him and wished him all the best but he wasn't being fair and I thought we needed space for at least a month or two. At this point, I know I want to get back together with him. I know with 100% certainty that it was the wrong decision to end things. We broke up for a (seemingly) trivial reason...but I don't know if there was more to it on his end. I don't know how to approach the situation at all...do I just tell him what I'm feeling and my reason for contacting him upfront? I should mention that we are currently living about 4 hours apart from each other. We were long distance on and off during our relationship and it wasn't really a problem for us. But meeting up in person to discuss things isn't an option right now. The few months since our breakup have been some of the most difficult of my life. I discovered that I was relying on him immensely for things that I should've been dealing with on my own. I realize that now. I know it wasn't all his fault and it wasn't fair for me to lean on him so heavily. I'm fairly certain he hasn't thought that way since the breakup. If anything he had a week or two where he missed me, but that's probably it. I know he loves me and cares about me...he hasn't always been the best at showing me though. I'm scared he's going to laugh at me or not respond to me and I'm going to be really embarrassed and hurt. But I also feel like I don't have anything to lose at this point. The only thing I absolutely would not be able to handle would be him telling me he's dating someone else already. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Anybody have any experience with small claims court? [Question within.] POST: My friend resigned from his job, and his former employer is withholding his last paycheck. He has filed a complaint with the department of labor for the state where he lives, but they said that could take up to 90 days to process and he needs the money now. He has tried e-mailing and calling his former employer, but all he got was an extremely nasty, unprofessional, hurtful email in reply saying that the quality of my friends work was not good enough and that he should not be paid, along with baseless allegations of theft. He wants to take up the matter in small claims court, but here's the big question: It's a franchise restaurant, and the owner of the franchise lives in California, but the franchise is registered in the same county that my friend lives in. If he takes him to small claims court, can he just file a complaint against the company itself, or does it have to be against a person in which case would he have to file it in California? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [F23] Asking my boyfriend [M23] to be more emotionally reciprocating. He said he'd work on it, but I'm not sure it'll stick. POST: We've just hit our two year mark and we had a major blow out recently where I essentially related to him how his emotional absence makes me feel lonely, frustrated and sad. Not feeling comfortable enough to talk with my boyfriend about regular, day-to-day events and hear a response that is caring and engaging (and perhaps even a story of his own in reply) is extremely depressing. He understands what I need from him, and he's generally been very good with working on his shortcomings in order to make me happy, but I'm unsure about whether it will stick or not. When talking with a girlfriend of mine, she related to me that she would have similar problems with her boyfriend but he would just revert back to his old behaviour after a while of mild improvement. She ended up breaking up with him and she told me that my boyfriend is like all men - they won't change - and that I might have to break up with him. I love my boyfriend so much - I really want this to work out, but I'm not sure how common my girlfriend's case is. I know he loves me just as much (if not, more) than I love him, but I want to hear stories from other guys and girls about men working on themselves for the women in their lives. Does it work? Does it not work? Why? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [22/M] I'm really worried my friend (21/M) is being emotionally manipulated by his boyfriend (32/M) and I don't know how to help. POST: So this evening I'm going to be having a discussion with this guy; let's call him Pat, (who is my flatmate/roommate) about his desire to move out and move in with his boyfriend, let's call him Roy. This has stemmed out of a desire to save money in an expensive city as well as spend more time with his boyfriend (which I totally understand). I've taken on the role of flat dad and as a result am usually the one who reminds people that they have chores to do / when they're cooking / etc. Over the last month Pat has been spending more and more time over at his boyfriends place and has taken offense to my reminders to do his part around the house. This culminated a few days ago in his desire to move out and move in with his boyfriend. The problem has been a complete lack of communication from Pat, with whom I consider myself to be good friends. Just yesterday two other mutual friends have met up with Pat and Roy together and seen that Roy has been badmouthing me relentlessly as well as encouraging Pat to move in with him. The two mutual friends have also noticed that a lot of Pat's original personality is being actively suppressed by Roy (passing Pat's legitimate creative pursuits off as "fads that'll disappear soon", encouraging unhealthy eating, and using emotion-heavy tactics to force Pat to agree with him). The mutual friends both came out and discussed this with me saying that Roy appears to be making the small flatting disagreement into a much larger issue than it really is and appears to be trying to force some kind of conflict between Pat and I. I don't understand what Roy is trying to do...but it's making life difficult between Pat and I. Both the mutual friends expressed concern over Roy emotionally manipulating Pat (who is an incredibly kind, sweet, generous guy). Tonight I'm going to have a discussion with Pat about him wanting to move out, but after that is finished, I want to have a chat with just him about how he feels about his relationship. I'm really worried about him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [17 M/F] am jealous of my friend [17 F] for being super close and then ignoring me for her bf POST: I have a friend who was super close to me and still is and we decided to take a break because there was a lot of tension. We talked hours everyday for 4 months on calls and always mentioned how much we loved each other in a friendly way but also calling each other babe and baby. We also had sleepovers and cuddled a lot so we were really comfortable with each other. I see her as my best friend and I can tell her anything. A bit ago she went on a holiday and met this guy who she has a thing with and hooked up with and ever since she came back she's been acting very different towards me like not at all using baby or babe even though she used that to like everyone because it was a friendly way. I understand we cant cuddle anymore and she even promised we would be cuddle partners forever. It really hurt me how she's trying to keep me like a secret or random friend if that makes sense and I feel jealous that she has put me to the side and now we're having a break from talking for a bit because it really hurt me how she came back and changed how she talked to me overnight. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs TITLE: Advice for applying for a job in a different department at the same organization? POST: Hi reddit, I work for an amazing, nonprofit organization that has two facilities in two different suburbs in our metro area. I'm currently working an entry level job on the operations aspect. It's a very hard yet rewarding job. I have a college degree and am overqualified, but I accepted this position because I'm doing something I am truly passionate about. A position recently opened up that I believe is a salaried position (I don't know for sure). It's a development assistant and matches my previous experience managing fundraising data bases. It also requires a college degree (which my current position does not). I am going to apply for this job, but was wondering how to have the conversation with my current supervisors? The position is in the admin building in our other campus. Should I send an email letting my supervisor know I inquired about the position? I'm sure the Development Director would mention it to her. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24 M] and my GF [22 F] tried 1st SEX today & Failed! What went wrong? POST: We're in a long distance relationship. It's been 4 years since we're in love. We're seeing each other after 3months and got some alone time for about an hour and a half. We decided this is the right time for the 1st time. Things started getting hot. I got hard but she wasn't wet. So I did some foreplay but I was limp. Then I got hard but she went dry. Then we both got tensed :( Plus, I think I'm spoiled with porn. Nowadays, I can't masturbate on normal porn. I need extreme/fetish porn. How do I go back? Back to the topic, I had to throw away the condom I was wearing cuz I got limp. It was a disaster. In the end, we didn't have it. I feel destroyed. Do I have a medical issue? What happened? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I, [14/f, don't know how to handle my problem with my boyfriend [15/m]! (Together for 3 months) POST: So, my boyfriend has been really busy lately and hasn't had anytime for me at all. I told him how I felt and he told me he'd try to make more time for me. As time went on, nothing got better, and I started to feel as though I was a burden to him. I know he's been really stressed out lately, what with his family, school, and me. I told him that I'm adding to his stress and suggested that we take a break. We didn't get to finish our conversation because his dad made him get off of the phone. I'm not sure if I did the right thing. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [19M] Girlfriend [18F] are on a break, how do I approach this. POST: I'm at University and my GF stayed home to go to Community college and work, we've been together for almost 2 years. And basically she is depressed when I'm not around and was always really attached... and now she became good friends with her 21M boss at work (Walgreens) and said that he was a good friend and someone to talk and cared, and that she developed some feelings for home over a month or 2 and that she needed to see where the feelings go but she still loves me and I love her and that we have a legitimate chance of being together in the future. My fear is, is that this guy is using her...a 21 year old sees a new cashier come in that's cute and depressed, cozies up, plays the friend game, jumps on an opportunity and then breaks her heart when she wants to be serious, I can't imagine this dick head just wants to take a serious relationship and make it another, I know guys do this all the time. And I don't know whether I should continue to contact her and talk to her everyday (which I'm doing right now) , cut contact and let her figure it out(honestly don't know if I could do that) , or warn her about what he may be doing (which she probably won't believe and will get angry). I love her more than anything and the last thing I want is for her to be heartbroken or hurt even though I am right now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: Don't know what to do POST: My boyfriend and I have been friends for about 10 years. He asked me out in May and I said no at first and in June decided to give it a go. I was really scared that we would move too serious too fast and well, that's what happened. Except now I find out he has a very short fuse and gets offended easily and angry easily. I'm not the best at wording things and am not perfect either; I sometimes make snarky remarks that send him into a full out rage of yelling then ignoring me. I truly love him, he is one of my best friends. But when we fight I feel like he becomes malicious and goes out of his way to hurt me to make me leave him alone. I don't understand how when we are together he tells me I am amazing and he is so lucky, but if we have a misunderstanding or I say something wrong when we aren't in person he goes ape shit and rips me a new one, hangs up on me and says he doesn't want to talk right now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I am a neurotic mess because of her POST: Not asking for advice but maybe this will help me deal with the turmoil going on in my head We both go to the same college. So, we started talking back in March 2013; we hit it off great as friends. I was attracted to her before but in a very superficial sense. Once we became friends I was head over heels. Summer was coming up and we needed to talk about it. Mutual interest was confirmed but she put on the breaks given the fact that we were on the cusp of summer AND she was studying abroad in the fall. I was like 'that's cool'. and we stayed in contact. We went to a mutual friend's wedding over the summer and corresponded via snail mail (in addition to a few text/email convos). In the fall we still stayed in touch through facebook and we skyped once, which was awesome. Now that she's back I'm not sure where things stand. We even went out for drinks just the two of us! but there's honestly no way to read how she feels about it. I could ask her out on more coffee dates or even to the movies but I don't want to mess with this if she's no longer interested in me. What do I do? I see this boiling down three scenarios: 1. do the DTR sooner than later 2. keep on going on these casual dates until things are more clear 3. just steer clear of any certainty in the relationship and it might settle on its own TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: My roommate's cat heavily damaged my $1300 laptop, is she responsible to pay for its repait? POST: So I live with three roommates: R, E and V. V was gone for the weekeed and E's little brother P was crashing on our couch. We were all hanging out the other night watching tv (no alcohol), I put my laptop on the coffee table and went to bed. At that time, there were snacks and drinks around the living room. Now, E's cat knocks over any drinks left out overnight, so I have repeatedly told everyone to make sure they leave no drinks out. I get up the next day and leave without looking at my laptop. When I get back in the evening, I pick up my laptop from what appears to be a clean table. The bottom of my laptop (a 13" Macbook Pro) is soaked. I won't turn on, nothing works, the powercord light doesn't do anything (it was plugged in while wet). My boyfriend and brother-in-law, both computer savvy, say they can get the files off probably but it will need some heavy repair. I don't know who left the cup out for the cat to knock over. No one will admit to leaving a cup out or knocking over anything themselves. E says she found a cup on the floor by the table in the morning. I am 99% sure someone left a cup out, E's cat knocked it over. E owes me the repair money right? I can't do my online classes or my job without that laptop. (I telecommute from home.) I don't expect a new computer, mine was two years old, but at least the repairs on this one. And there is no way my California renter's insurance will pay for it, right? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs TITLE: Today is my IRL birthday, and I just received a call, asking me to start work tomorrow! POST: Bit of background- I graduated College with a degree in management and creative writing in May. Top of my class, commencement speaker, Phi Beta Kappa and all that. No job offers. I stayed in my school town all summer, working for the school and looking for jobs. Got a few interviews but no offers. After holding on as long as I could, I moved home, to a small town that is really big in the summer for tourists, and kinda big in the winter for Snow Birds. I was convinced that I wasn't going to be able to find anything in this small town. My parents moved there while I was in school, so I have no friends and no connections. My father wanted me to join him on his truck, and become a truck driver. It makes a lot of money but it was down there with sewage treatment as far as what I wanted to do. Last Sunday he called me and woke me up, offering me a bunch of incentives to come work on the truck with him, including an Ipad (which is funny, because I'm the farthest thing from an Applefan girl ever, and have never expressed a desire for one). As I was about to resign myself to working for him for the next year, just so I could make a dent in my Loans, two companies called me, offering me interviews. One was part time, it was offered to me and I accepted, but they are waiting on my drug test. The second is a full time assistant manager. I've been hoping and praying all weekend that the second job would call and hire me before my drug results got back to the first job... THEY DID. I start work tomorrow at the full time job. I will most likely have to "Quit" the barista job- I haven't started working for them, so it shouldn't be a big deal. After I call them, I will send a thank you note for the interview and the offer. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How to tell my (19M) friend that he isn't going to get anywhere with his romantic interest (19F) POST: Been a while since I've been to this sub, but I could really use some advice. So me and a friend were at a party about a month ago where we both met this girl. Since the party we have both started talking to and getting to know this girl, him in the sense that he wants to date her, me in the sense that we just want to be friends. Anyway, we were talking tonight and she revealed 2 things, firstly she has trust issues, secondly due to precious bad relationship experiences, and her current position (depression) she isn't planning on dating for a good long while. My friend however, in the process of attempting to date her has not had this discussion, and still thinks that he is smooth sailing his way into a relationship. So I ask, what should I do. I can't just tell him he ain't gonna get anywhere, because If the girl finds out i broke her trust, shit hits the fan. Especially due to her trust issues and depression. But at the same time I don't feel like I can let my mate keep trying for something I know isn't going to happen. I also can't tell the girl how my mate feels because then he will know I broke his trust. So basically how do I come out of this with all my friendships still intact, and with my moral compass still pointing vaguely north. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: Slow and Steady wins the race (-50lbs) POST: Not as big as a transformation that others have accomplished here but I am proud. [ME!]( Some back story if any one is interested. Last christmas I went to Cuba with my family, I had just had surgery (pilonidal sinus removed, don't google it, trust me)3 months before and hadn't done anything since before then. I realized I wasn't at my best but when I looked at the pictures I was disgusted with my self, I had never been thin but always played sports and this was definitely the worst my body looked. (I had been 225 before but this was a rugby season a few years ago and was in a lot better shape) So come January I got on to Keto, it was perfect diet for me at the time (lost 25 pounds on it) after 6 weeks I had started going to the gym and rugby training and I couldn't stand how fast I would fatigue during longer workouts so I changed to a low carb (-120g's a day) with a high protein content. By summer I was 185, looking strong with a little gut but my back and arm were huge. 2 games into the season I broke a rib and some cartilage so I was back to not moving for a bit, I gained 10 pounds in a month and realized what slope I was going down so started limiting my self to 2000 cals a day. First game back and I break my hand so once again no lifting but I was still training rugby and watching what I eat. Get down to 185 again and school starts. I hit 180 after rugby season started (2 practices a day!) but once the cafe opened up to us I was back up to 190. End of september I started limiting my self to 1 plate per meal and i've been losing 1-2lbs per week since. I started the gym again 2 weeks ago where I weighted my self at 173 how ever I broke my hand again this weekend (no more rum) but I can hold about 45 pounds in it so it won't be as bad as last time. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Going to a LAN organised by a female friend, planning on crashing there along with 5-6 other people. GF not happy. POST: I'm 23, she's 22. Started going out midway through 2009, so nearly two years together. I was invited to this lan about a month ago, and have been looking forward to it. I also invited my girlfriend, but she declined because she thinks she'd be bored and just have to sit around doing nothing because she doesn't play video games - she is most likely correct, but I think she could have put in an hour just to improve her own comfort level with it. She is never happy if I organise/do anything with any female friends, regardless of if I invite her or not. Now, I kind of have the mentality that I can't back down on this kind of thing, because doing so would justify that she can control my platonic friendships with women - something I'm not up for. I've told her I believe the issue isn't that I'm doing something unreasonable, but that she has her own insecurity/jealousy issues that she needs to work on. She countered by saying that she can't think of any guy who would stay over a girls house when their gf doesn't want to. When taken out of context, I'd agree with her - but I really don't think crashing at a lan, along with 5-6 other guys, + one of their girlfriends + the host is the same situation, I liken it to crashing at a party, which just happens to be at a girls house. I told her if she feels that uncomfortable about it, she can feel free to pick me up at 2-3am when it finishes up, but she has told me she's not inclined to do that either. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [23m] almost hooked up with my best friend [23f] of 5+ years this weekend. No idea what to do from here. POST: I have been best friends with a girl for at least five years now, probably longer. We were on a trip this weekend with a bunch of other friends. The first night we were pretty drunk and while we were alone we ended up making out, as well as doing some more stuff that night when we shared a bed. Ive never had feelings for her in that way, although ive always admired her as a friend, and certainly found her attractive. She said she just recently started seeing me as more than that, and that shes been starting to notice more and more as a person she would want to be with long term. However, it just didn't seem right because we weve been such great friends for so long, and she didnt want to lose that. Keep in mind we were both quite intoxicated at this time. We still haven't talked about it, and I still haven't told anyone what happened. Were both "sort of" with other people , so I wouldn't want this to complicate that if it turns out to be nothing. However for whatever reason I cant stop thinking about what happened, and just have no idea what to do from here. This girl honestly means so much to me as a person, but I just don't know how to feel anymore. Were so alike, and get along so well. It makes me think wed be a great couple. But weve never been anything close to that, or ever thought we would be. Were do I go from here. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [F21] stopped talking to a guy I really like (non sexual) because he [M22] talks to me the same way my fwb[M24] does, and I didn't like it. Now I miss him... POST: Title says most of it. But basically I was going through a rough patch with my Fwb/roommate[M24](let's call him Tony) when I started talking to him[22M](I'll call him Rhys) on kik (from craigslist) and I spent every waking moment anxiously waiting for Rhys's texts and texting him back because I loved talking to him. After talking on the phone to Rhys a couple of times he was completely different, he spoke to me the same way my Tony does (and I already resent being spoken to that why from him) so after the 3rd phone call hung up, I never messaged Rhys again (this happened Monday 16/02) Rhys has made no effort to message me since this time, I don't know if he's not interested or too shy But I miss talking to him and don't know whether I should text/call him again, or just try and move on from this. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [18F] feel like I'm too busy trying to be a perfect girlfriend [20M] POST: Is it okay to be invested in your relationship? My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to a year. He's in the Army so it's already very hard. In the beginning there was an attraction and love, but it wasn't near as deep as it is now. Which is leading to more problems. I ask more for his attention, and I want to please him more now than anything. He almost consumes my mind. I get upset easy. I'm a pretty emotional person and I'm very observant. In tune with everything. It's a curse I swear. So now, that I'm in love with this kid, I get even more upset when he doesn't do the little things anymore. The little things I notice. It's almost as if because I love him now I'm afraid to lose him so I'm becoming this crazy girlfriend. Something I really don't want to be. I know this is a problem. I don't want him to resent me because of it. Any advice on how to step back, make him chase me again, anything? Thank you in advance. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, I need some help with a health problem. Any of you out there knowledgeable about joint problems? POST: I'm only 19, and I'm a guy. Back a year and a half or so ago I got some severe knee pain in both knees. I believe they were brought on by injuries, but now I'm not so sure. (One was a puck to the knee, the other was trampoline problem.) I went to the doctor, and he told me that it was tendinitis, though I wasn't completely sure I believed him. As the months have gone on, I now have problems in more joints. It's moved from just being my knees to now being my knees, groin, elbows, wrists, and one of my hands. Though I know it's possible to injure all of these, it seems unlikely. I'm in good shape, and can't really figure out what's going on. There's popping and grinding going on where there wasn't before. I've been to a doctor and don't have Rheumatoid arthritis. I've thought about getting tested for lyme disease, but I think that's unlikely, because I haven't noticed any other side effects. What is the next step? I could wait, but after this long, it seems like it's only going to get worse from here. I know this is long, but what would you recommend from here? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I don't mean to offend anyone, but I have a serious question regarding children born from rape, when the mother decides to keep the child... POST: How do you manage to keep the child? My own feelings are that the child is part of a person who was the cause of a traumatizing, and horrible experience, and every time you look at it, it would bring back memories of that horrible experience or person. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I am genuinely curious how you can love someone that is the result of something so horrible that it usually leaves deep emotional scars. Personally, if I ended up pregnant from that kind of event I would terminate it immediately. For those who would not abort, it would make more sense to me to at least give the child up for adoption. Then again, I don't ever want to have children, and I don't really enjoy being around kids, which is why I am so curious for an answer to this loaded question. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Completely inexperienced with dating, need some help with asking out a girl I like. POST: I'm 21/M, up until last year I was pretty socially awkward, I've worked against it though and now can deal with people reasonably well without feeling uncomfortable. Still never had a girlfriend, etc. Anyway, there's this girl in my class, noticed her pretty much straightaway after I sat down. Nothing much happens until the break, where I go out and sit down with a few other people and start chatting with them, after a few minutes of that she sits down right next to me! Needless to say I was pretty pleased, so I greet her and strike a bit of conversation. I made her laugh a few times, and I lent her my coat at one point since she mentioned it was cold. This was about three weeks ago, the class meets once a week and each time I've gotten to talk to her a bit with similar results to the first time. Now I'm pretty terrible at reading signs, so I don't really know whether she's interested in me or not, but we certainly get along well enough and I'd like to ask her on a date before too much more time goes by. In the past I've waited way too long and ended up either friend zoned or just plain old forgotten, so despite the uncertainty of her interest, I'd like to ask anyway and at least get some experience out of it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (26F) FWB (24M) is seeing someone else too, and I don't care except apparently I do. POST: Early in May, my 4-year long relationship ended, and not too long after that, one of my friends split up with his girlfriend, whom he'd also been with for a while (they were already together when I met him, I think it was about 6 years?). So we got together to commiserate and all that, there were drinks involved, one thing led to another, and we've been hooking up pretty regularly since. I have absolutely no interest in a serious relationship right now, and neither does he; plus we've been friends for years and know each other well enough to be able to tell it'll never work out anyway. So far we've both been good with what we've got, and we never agreed to be exclusive or anything (also yes, we are being safe!) Around the beginning of the month, his parents introduced him to another girl so now he's seeing her as well. When we're together he'll talk about her and their dates sometimes and it doesn't bother me at all (she sounds pretty cool actually, though it seems like she doesn't know about me), but I have been getting jealous and annoyed when I see them posting photos and status updates about being together on social media. I would appreciate advice on how to get over this! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Can My Friend Be Implicated In A Crime Simply Because Law Enforcement Knows He Knows Information Used in the Crime? POST: Ok so my friend was recently laid off from his job at a frozen yogurt place. He's really pissed off because he says he was the hardest worker there and he worked past midnight for them like 4 days a week. Anyways, he knows the code to unlock the store and the registers inside. He is planning on using the code to get in and take all the money in the registers. He is not the only person there who knows this information. I obviously did my best to convince him not to do this, but he really hates his former boss and is hell bent on it. Now I'm simply concerned for his safety. Provided there is no other evidence to suggest it was him who committed this crime, can he be charged with anything or forcibly detained/be forced to ask questions or hand over info solely based on the fact that he had access to the codes used to break in? I will continue in my efforts to prevent him from doing this. Thanks in advance TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Withholding sex before having the "What are we?" talk? POST: I have been dating a girl (she's 24 and I'm 28) for a little over a month, and we have only had sex 5 times, even though we hang out almost everyday. I am used to starting a relationship (or lack thereof) with sex 2-3 times a day, so this has been bothering me. We mess around often like feeling each other up and kissing, but before it proceeds to sex she stops me. The few times we've had sex, she did the same thing but there was like, a 10 second window where she was turned on enough that she couldnt stop. We have only have normal "ITS ON RIGHT NOW" sex once, and that was because we were both really drunk. The last few times we've hung out, she has tried to ask me "where is the relationship going?" and I feel like she wants to know if I want to be in a relationship with her before we have a normal sex life. **BUT** I don't want to committ to her yet because I don't know how our sex life is gonna be. What if she's always like this? What if she just doesn't like sex? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by nearly and inadvertently violating a law with the FCC at a radio station POST: Took my demo CD to radio station today. It is well pressed and of decent quality. It was a long shot but I dressed well and asked to speak with the station manager. He came down the stairs promptly and I'm sure he knew what I wanted before I even spoke. I wanted to give him my disc for a chance to get some air play. Before I could hand it over he went on about how the station is a top-40 station and it probably wouldn't get play. I knew this before walking in, I just wanted him to lie to me and have me feel all good but he was real about it which I can also respect. After a few brief exchanges I just requested that he give it a listen. He said he would pass it on to a DJ who would, but every time he gave me confidence that he'd at least listen to it he would immediately say it would not make a rotation. Feeling defeated and remembering a movie I saw on BET I decided to leave him with my disc and contact information. So I borrowed a pen and pulled out a $20 and started to write my name on a $20. He stopped me before I started and said he doesn't even want the CD. I turned white as a ghost when he told me this practice is illegal. I'd never heard of 'payola' but it's a thing and you cannot do it. I ended up just writing my contact on a post it and left. Swagger level -1 and we are not talking golf scores. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: I(M22) Dont know how to approach F(20) POST: I go to this restaurant/bar with my dad every Friday, or whenever we want really. There is a waitress there who is very attractive. I know that waitresses and waiters are supposed to be nice and work for their tips and such. Though, she flirts with me whenever we walk in. I haven't noticed her doing this with anyone else. Here is where the problem lies. She's the owner of the establishments niece, and a waitress. I love eating at this place as its a ritual with my dad, he doesn't even let me pay for the meals, but I am really attracted to her. I know it can go both ways and I wont know the outcome unless I ask. Though, I can't imagine what would happen if it went sour. It would be awkward for me to go in there and be served by someone who I went out with, and I couldn't really look the owner in the eye. Which would ruin the whole environment for my father and I. I will admit I get really nervous when it comes to asking females out, but I feel like this one could get complicated but be really awesome in the long run. I constantly catch her looking at me, not just our table, though I still can't tell if its her being nice because its her job. Though, I noticed that she goes out of her way just to get our table when we do go, possibly just because were great customers. I'm going on a trip next month for two weeks. I was going to wait until after I got back, to see if she asked about me, and to kind of get a feel for the situation until then. I would really love some advice on how to approach this situation. Thank you. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Would it be weird for me [22F] to send my boyfriend's [23M] mother [50sF] flowers for Christmas? I have not met her yet. POST: My boyfriend and I were friends for years before we started dating. We have travelled together before and were both employed at the same job during University. This is relevant since I've been involved in major life points that he has discussed with his mother. Craig (boyfriend) is from three States over from where we lived and went to university. He only went home for Christmas and maybe a week during the summers during university. Now he lives 5 States away from his home state and goes home even less. Currently, we are in a LDR for the next year or so. He decided that instead of going home this year, he was going to spend Christmas with me and my family. Craig and I have been dating for just over year. Obviously last Christmas it was too soon for me to visit over Christmas, and in the summer his grandfather died on his mother's side - so it wasn't exactly the best time for me to visit. I have never met her. I feel bad that Craig isn't going home this Christmas, and I know she asks him about me all the time. Christmas is my favourite time of year, and I love giving gifts. I was thinking of sending her a nice floral arrangement wishing her Happy Holidays, that I'm thankful she raised such a great young man, and that I am looking forward to meeting her. Craig told me he wants to Skype her on Christmas day and wants me to meet her for the first time that way. Would it be bizarre for me to send her an arrangement even though I've never met her? I don't want to seem like a suck up to her. I always gave gifts to my ex's mothers. Craig has given me her address, so I want to order soon. Some friends said they thought it would be weird, others said it was adorable. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23F] with my boyfriend [26M] ~7mo, need advice on supporting partner through job stress POST: Some details changed to maintain some level of anonymity. My boyfriend has been going through a tremendous amount of job stress the past few months; I'm trying to be as supportive as possible, but I'd really appreciate some insight/advice from people who have been through similar things. My boyfriend started his first teaching job this year, and he's understandably overwhelmed. He's basically been thrown into this job with very little training and very little mentoring and has been having a rough time. I've been trying to be as accommodating as I can - I understand that he's busy and overworked and may not have as much time for me as he used to, and I try to be supportive when he vents about his job to me. But, it's getting to be difficult. I feel like every time he comes to me to talk about work, it's the exact same conversation - he's overwhelmed, he feels like he's not doing a good job, he's overworked, etc etc. I try to offer to lighten the load (bringing him food, doing laundry, even helping with some grading), and he lets me sometimes, but a lot of times he refuses. I feel guilty when we spend time together because he has so much work to do and I'm taking up his time. I feel lost and helpless, and I feel like this isn't going to change anytime soon. I've expressed my frustration to him, but I also don't want him to feel like he can't come to me with his problems, or like I'm just another obligation he needs to deal with on top of everything else. Has anyone else dealt with this? I don't really know what I'm looking for here. Just some words of encouragement or advice would be nice. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: She was talking to another guy behind my back... POST: So we've been together for a year and three months. We've had troubles like all couples have but we've pushed through them. When we met she had a 9 oclock curfew (she was 17 she is 19 now) and I waited 9 months for an extension. Her parents have finally warmed up and even let her start spending the night when they are out of town. She got a job and is working 40 hours. She told them she was in school and couldnt do that, but they keep firing people and she needs the job so she has to put up with it. Between working 40 hours, and a full load in school, we dont get to spend much time together anymore. I made the mistake of saying that if something didnt change about her schedule soon, we wouldnt work out and she needed to figure it out or I would leave her. She she turns around and starts talking to some guy at her new job behind my back. She's with me all the time when she isnt at work so I know she hasnt done anything other than text him, but he is asking her out on dates and we broke up yesterday. I want to be with her and make this work, and we are still talking, but am I making excuses for her by saying it's partly my fault for threatening to break up with her bc of her job? Any advice would be appreciated. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19M] with [18F] that I have been talking to for two and a half weeks, should I be worried if she hangs out with other guy friends? Should I say something? POST: Around two weeks ago I began talking to this girl. Everything has gone great, we can talk easy and when we hang out its a blast, but she does have quite a few other guy friends. She tells me that I am the only one she is "talking to" and that I should believe her but like i said I have only known her for around two weeks so I am a little worried when she goes to hang out with them. She is a very pretty girl and quite a few guys blow up her phone, some she texts some she just ignores. Should I be worried when she hangs out with them? Especially if it is just her and him??? Should I say something? We have discussed dating before TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [16F] Best Friend [17M] has been doing these weird "calls for help" and I don't know what to do POST: My friend of 4 years (Ricky) has been acting really weird. Lately he's been acting like there's something wrong with him... he'll have like panic attacks (which from what I remember he's never had the problem before) and he'll call himself crazy and all these other weird things. He called me today and he was breathing heavily and freaking out. I tried to tell him to calm down, but that got nowhere and he just hung up. He texted me right after saying "I'm having the panicky shit again and you have helped me before." I had no idea what he was talking about so I asked him what to do, he didn't respond with any help, just said please. I told him to get a paper bag and start to breath into it to which he responded with "You're not helping The time I need you and you aren't helping." I tried to call him, but he ignored it and said he didn't want to talk. I told him I couldn't read his mind and he needed to tell me how to help, but he just said "Goodnight. Sorry for bothering you." I didn't respond. He's been doing these weird cries for attention lately to were he'll bring me into expected me to help, but when I ask him what to do, he just ignores it and it becomes frustrating. A few days ago we were into an argument and he said "I was stressed last year and was going crazy" and I kind of went off and told him "Oh yeah, you were so crazy, all you do is cry out for attention." Of course he left right there. I get I'm being a shitty friend, I do want to help him, I just don't know how. Asking him gets me nowhere, so I figured maybe Reddit could help me. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 F] struggling to work out the next move with [27 M]. Where next? POST: I've been seeing a guy for the past couple of weeks that I met on OKC. It actually took a lot of persuading on his part, but we hung out and it turns out he's pretty sweet. We've seen each other roughly once a week over the past month or so which has been lovely, and I'm starting to feel comfortable with him. I would increase the frequency of the dates but we agreed to take it slowly. I also work and am in the middle of sorting out a very important masters application, which takes up all of my free time in the week. We slept together on the third & fourth dates, which I now realise may have been a mistake for a few reasons. I'm not sure where I stand with him, and now I'm too shy to ask. I don't think it's a purely sexual thing but I'm thinking sex probably shouldn't have come into the equation so soon. I don't want restrict him to seeing just me as we're only going to be going on our fifth date at the weekend, but I don't know how comfortable I feel with him potentially seeing/sleeping with other women. How do I bring this up without seeming too clingy? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: My girlfriend makes us text all day long even if we have nothing to talk about. She also reads too much into the things I text her. POST: My girlfriend (21/F) of just about a year and I (22/M) text all day long. Even if we have nothing to talk about. It can go back and forth "Yup." "Mhm," etc. We have BlackBerrys so if she sees that I read that message and I don't respond, she'll get mad. I've tried to talk to her about this but she says that everyone has pet peeves and this is one of hers. That means that if I read the message I have to respond even if I have nothing to say. This bothers me. I've tried to talk to her about it but she says "Oh so you don't want to talk to me? I don't know about you but I can't go all day without talking to you." The texting thing bothers me because obviously I want to just relax sometimes and do things on my own. Also because by the time we do our nightly phone call, we have nothing to talk about because we already know everything about each other's days. This eventually turns into a fight about how we each have nothing to say. Additionally, she reads WAY too into my texts. I'll respond something like "Ok." and she'll think I'm pissed. Or if I don't sound happy through text messages, she'll start answering in one word texts just because she needs to be mad too or something. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 M] with my best friend [22 F] have been hooking up consistently for the past three months and have developed an emotional attachment and want to go back to how we used to be. Need advice POST: We have always joked and been flirtatious with each other, but this past summer we ended up hooking up one night and have done it almost every day since then. We now live in different cities because of school, but we recently came to the realization that we have developed attachment/feelings for each other. For example if we go out in our friend group, one of us would get really upset if the other went home with someone else. What is the best way to go back to how we were before, because there is no way because of complications that we could ever date. I've gotten suggestions from friends ranging from cutting off contact completely for a while, just talking every once in a while, and just trying to talk often without hooking up. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/college TITLE: To students looking at colleges, this is for you POST: The number one thing I'm starting to advocate for people looking at schools is don't believe everything you read on the school's website. Especially if it has to do with rank. The university I go to was featured on this "blog": Looks good right? Well that's a fake site owned by a bunch of for-profit universities. You go to the site, you see which college you should go to on the sidebar, it lists off a bunch of for-profit schools like the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. Then you think hmm, the site **is** called **bestcollegevalues.com** so if I want an art degree I should go there. Here's the part that pisses me off most about this, most schools on that list are whoring out this "fact" as if its worth it's weight in gold. I mean shit, we had a feature in the local newspaper because we were on the list. All that we're doing is helping the website's SEO rank by linking to it, which validates it and makes people think its a credible site... I brought this fact up to a few people and they said that it doesn't matter and that the head of marketing thinks its very important we advertise this fact constantly. So now we're hyping the crap out of this thing and it's fake. it's all over the school and it will most definitely be sent out on marketing materials as well. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs TITLE: Correcting an old nose injury POST: Age: 36, Sex: Male, Height: 5'7", Weight: 150 lbs. About two years ago, I was in a car accident and injured my nose. I'm not sure if it was technically broken, but it became swollen and slightly crooked. I visited an ENT in a timely manner and made an another appointment with that doctor to have my nose reset. However, I never actually went through with the procedure because of insurance issues. (My car and medical insurers both stated that it was the others' responsibility.) Now, my nose still remains slightly crooked. I've also been having breathing issues and recurrent nosebleeds since the injury. I was told by the ENT I originally went to that I had a deviated septum that was worsened by the injury. What are my options for correcting the injury now, two years after I incurred it? Correcting the breathing issues are my priority, but I'd also like to correct the slight crookedness if possible. My understanding is that plastic surgery could accomplish both of these things, but I'd like to keep whatever is done to a minimum and avoid that route. Is there anything else I should be considering? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Im(M24) not sure what to do. My Father(M54) is literally destroying my family's house. He is very unstable and has a history of being violent. (xpost r/domesticabuse) POST: I dont know where to post this and I am sorry if this is the wrong sub. My dad was an alcoholic during my childhood and beat my sister and I when we were children. This stopped when he stopped drinking which was when I was around 11. He has always punched holes in walls or destroyed things around the house when he got mad. He has mellowed out a bit since I graduated high school and its mostly due to him smoking more weed than anyone I have ever even heard about. Fast forward to this month. He is retired and he doesnt and has pretty much never cared about my family. He spent most of this months retirement check on comic books, comic figurines, weed, and Muscle car parts. My mom got angry because that has left us with less than 200$ for the entire rest of this month. He flipped out about us not having more money and threatened to beat the fuck out of my sister and threw a newly bought comic figurine at the wall. He also said that he wants my mom, my sister, and I out of his life and out of his house. He told my mom today that he wants a divorce and he whipped his tv remote at his very large and expensive Tv and figurines around it. He said he isnt paying for anything for the three of us anymore. He has always been very angry and unstable. He owns lots of guns and the last time he went nuts several years ago to lit a fire in my backyard and threw a can of gasoline on it. The fire was next to my house and my mom and I barely managed to put it out before it caught the house on fire. I am afraid for the lives of my sister, my mom and myself. He has spent all of my familys savings and my sister and I are both in school and have very little money. My mom doesnt want me involving the police but I am afraid that if I do not then I will come home one day and be shot along with my mom and sister. What can I/we do? We feel hopeless. We dont see a way out of this... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: Godmother just died. POST: I'm not really sure how to take this. Death to me is a very beautiful and joyous time- no more suffering , worrying, etc. Everyone around me is upset or is trying to take all of my godmothers belongings . This to me dishonors her memory and quite frankly sickens me. Today I found out I'm a beneficiary out of the few in my family which will help me finish school. I'm happy but money's never been something that mattered to me. I just wish my family wasn't selfish and trying to take anything they can get out of it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend has low testosterone. I feel unwanted and unattractive. What can I/he do? POST: My (29F) boyfriend (34M) have been together for 3 years. He used steroids for several years and has now made the decision to quit. He had blood tests done and has found out that he has very low testosterone. Sex has dropped from about 4-5 times a week to once a week if we're lucky, but it's not the lack of sex that is bothering me. He is moody and less engaging and just doesn't seem interested in me at all. I feel like I kiss and cuddle him and beg for his attention but the response I get feels cold and robotic. He says he still loves me and I believe him. I know it's a physical issue that we will have to get through, but I just want to see that sparkle in his eyes once in a while, experience some intimacy (not necessarily sex), and FEEL like he's there with me. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: From pure frustration to pure thankfulness. POST: I work part time at a Membership Wholesale warehouse (it rhymes with George Costanza's ATM Pin code). It is also important to note that I am also on the pastoral staff at a church. At the warehouse I work at the door and check people's cards. Every once in a while people will get upset that they have to show their card. Two days ago a guy refused to show his card. We are trained to be polite but insist on seeing the card. Eventually the guy relented and but shoved the card in my face. I am big guy and am used to people trying to act tough around me so I let it go but reminded him that we need to see the card any time he enters the building. He did not like that and we chirped back and forth a few times before he walked off. A few moments later he returned and said, "Ya know as an Asian-American..." I interrupted him. I am a relatively patient man and pray often for humility but I absolutely hate it when people bring race into non-relavent issues. I have never yelled at a stranger before (and I have definitely never done it while on the clock) but with all the race issues going on I had had it, "Shut up! I have no time for your race baiting, get out of here!" He looked shocked but immediately left. I was a bit shaken up for not only loosing my cool, but that I was accused of being a racist. It ruined my day. I could not believe a man would call me a racist for doing my job. I told my manager what had happened in case he decided to complain, my manager gave a good natured laugh at the situation and told me to let it go. When the day finally ended I went home and went straight to bed. Yesterday the man came in and apologized to me. I gave him a hug and thanked him profusely and send him off with a blessing. Thank you for apologizing Asian guy, I really appreciate it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: [20 M] Diabetic needing some help finding motivation to get started (again). POST: As said in the title, I've had diabetes since I was thirteen and up until recently I've been in denial (in a way). All through high school I was semi-in shape. I was running every day because I played lacrosse year-round and now that I'm in college I have no obligations... Anyway, as I keep typing and deleting my little story I just keep feeling shitty because all I'm reading as I type is that I'm lazy. I'm 235 (+-2-3 lbs) and 5'8. My skinniest was 195 in high school, and I'm a fairly stocky fella. I used to be able to jog 2-3 miles at my peak. Now I can't really find it in myself to even wake up early in the morning, even if I do sleep before midnight. Also, I'm not sure if this is a legit reason for my weak-submanly mentality, I have a girlfriend who's satisfied with me in every way physically. Sexytime we're pretty happy, but no matter what happens whenever we look at ourselves in the mirror I feel unhappy with what I'm seeing despite what she says. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of three years, how do I know if it's worth it to continue in spite of issues and looming longdistance/uncertainty, ideas of sunken cost fallacy, and general intimacy issues POST: We have been together for 3 years and things have been largely good between us. I always felt that we had really good communication but I guess this is a thing that can always be improved. Lately I have been noticing little things about her that bother me, generally "sassy", uptight, and I feel like I'm her therapist at times. I am coming to the end of my degree in computer science and am not sure what to do, some part of me says I should stick it out and see if we can come out of this and another says that it might just be dead and I should move on. It is most likely that we will have a period of unknown length of long distance if we stick together. I asked advice of a friend of mine and he says that he feels that she is generally hard on me. To which I agree to some extent, I often feel like there are things that I should say because they are the right thing to say. As a whole the sex has been not great over the last 3 months. And I feel general intimacy is way down and would take a lot of work to bring back up. Contrary to the tone of this post thus far, she has helped me through tough times, she seems very interested in continuing the relationship regardless of all the bumps the last while, and I still believe she is a good person, just sometimes clueless. The overall tone of this post seems to lead towards breaking up, but what is the general consensus on this scenario. Or if /r/relationships is against giving straight up answers, what are important questions I should look into to find realize what I should do. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (22f) can't even tell if I'm being overly sensitive anymore POST: Hey Reddit, my boyfriend (24) and I have been dating for 2 years and apart from some small stuff we've had a relatively smooth go. However, some things he does drive me absolutely insane and I can't tell anymore if it's just his personality or if something else is going on. This all came to a head yesterday. Someone in his family recently gave birth and we talked about going to visit. I said I wasn't sure if I could go but will keep him posted throughout the day. 3 p.m rolls around and I msg him saying, "hey when are we leaving, what are we bringing etc". He responds and then says, "oh btw James is coming lol". First I was confused and then I was really pissed off. James is his best friend of 10 years. I have no problems with any of his friends but (and we've had this fight before) whenever it is the 3 of us hanging out my boyfriend will show 0 affection. We can't hold hands, can't peck, can't snuggle for too long or even have inside jokes. He says he feels bad because James has never had a girlfriend and has really low self esteem so he doesn't want to rub our relationship in his face. We argued for a bit but he wasn't getting why I so upset so I just stopped responding. To keep this story short, I didn't end up going to see the baby because I feel like we keep having the same argument that is centred around my boyfriend not treating me differently than his friends (if that makes sense). I just feel like there are some "life milestones" or whatever that you should share with your partner and those things should be special. I guess my question is, would anyone else be upset? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/cats TITLE: Any cheap solutions for a stray with a broken leg? POST: While walking to class today I found a stray that I'm pretty sure was just hit by a car and has a broken rear left leg. I didn't see any blood and it's not like dangling or anything, nor is the bone protruding, but I could tell by the way he was trying to put pressure on it that it's broken. I tried calling our local animal control but "all the lines were busy" and their mailbox was full, so I couldn't leave a message. I'd really like to try to get it somewhere that won't just put it down though, since it's a younger cat and I don't think it's a terrible, messy, nonfixable break. The thing is, I don't think the shelters around here (Pittsburgh area) would do surgery on a stray and I really don't have the money to take it to an emergency vet. I'm not against paying something small for it, but as a broke college student, I don't think I can afford surgery. Any ideas of what I can do or any places I could take it would be great! Thanks! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [20 M] am getting more and more into a girl [21 F] I really shouldn't be getting into, really messing with my head. POST: We've been going to the same school for the past two years. She's constantly going clubbing, getting absolutely shitfaced, missing classes, just being really irresponsible in general. She really isn't anything special, not especially pretty or interesting, . Well, somewhere in november last year she started messaging me (we know each other from school). It was pretty obvious she was into me a lot, which she hadn't been before. I, however, didn't really have any interest, although I did like her in the past. But soon I noticed i started liking her again (and I was naive to think it wouldn't go that way). I knew that realistically she's just gonna bring a whole lot of trouble and hurt me if I'd act on it, and gradually stopped messaging her, but she keeps messaging me. Last week I went to a big music festival with my buddies, and I knew she was going to be there too. We cuddled for like half an hour, and one of her friends even told me she talks about me every day, which surprised me to say the least. That didn't really help getting rid of my feelings for her. I've never thought I would ever like a girl like her. I can name a thousand reasons why it's a bad idea to want her, but my feelings are actually getting stronger, so I try my best to follow my conscience, but I don't think this is just gonna go away easily. I think it's also partly because I have never had a girl be genuinely interested in me, or even had sex, and I'm a little ashamed that I don't have the selfrespect to cut it off. I just want to cuddle and hold her you know! Alright, I've tried to keep this short. I have no idea how to deal with this, and it's getting more and more confusing and tiring every day. Has anyone been in this situation before? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [30 M] can't trust her [28 F] even thought she's done nothing wrong in the 4 months we've been dating. POST: A bit of backstory: I've been in only 4 real long term relationships in my past. I've dated, had a couple flings, some casual relationships, but only 4 real in depth relationships. However, in all 4, I've been cheated on. Some worse than others, but the consistant thing remains that I've been cheated on. Now, I am in a relationship with a great woman who is kind to me, seems honest, and actually cares about me. But no matter how hard I try, I can't get over the fact that I just assume she will cheat on me. It creeps up on me. At first it's a soft voice telling me that she's going to hurt me, and it gets louder and the only way I can silence it is to do horrible things like check her phone texts and Facebook messages. When I do these things, even the most basic of conversations suddenly turn sexual in my head. And anything with a sexual overtone just feels like a betrayal all over again (i.e. the worst thing I've seen is her telling her ex that she had sexual dreams about him). I then just upset and moody and just hurt even though I have no real reason to. I know that looking in her phone and Facebook is a horrible and fucked up thing to do, and I already feel like shit about it, so no lectures please on all of that. I guess the advice I'm looking for is to those that have been cheated on, more than once especially, how do/did you get over it and learn to trust someone again? How do/did you move on when you've been hurt time and time again by your significant other who always swears they won't cheat? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I screwed up [M/18] and am so afraid about the fallout [F/18] POST: While my girlfriend was on a trip (at the time we had been dating for about 2 months), I skyped this girl I had met around March from across the world. Never met the girl, but we chatted occasionally. Well, I fucked up. She asked to see my nether regions and I complied, doing nothing sexual, just dropping the britches for a brief second. Now, directly after, I deleted her, blocked her, and felt so FUCKING guilty, to a point i wanted to just bend over and die. I'm not the kind of guy who would ever consider cheating on my girlfriend, because truly, she is my first love. But, I don't know how to break this out to her without screwing us up. I fucked up, I know it, and it hurts me to no measurable extent thinking about how I may have hurt her. It was the biggest mistake I can ever think of and will never again do something so completely stupid and thoughtless. How do i go about telling her about it? Honesty is so important to both of us, but I'm so scared. Please help /relationships. ;( TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [25/F] with my SO [32 M] and our fiercely annoying bar friend POST: We frequent our local pub, which we like very much when we get to sit outside on our own. It's a compact area where we can have personal chats with no one else present, for the most part. There is a guy who is also a local and he has started to join us while we have a drink together. At first we were accommodating and nice to him, but it has become obvious that it has become a much more meaningful relationship to him than it has to us. He has started to insinuate nights out and time together that we are not comfortable with. It is affecting every time we go to this place for alone time. This guy is nice but we unfortunately gave him the impression that we're cool with him, but now we think he has a disability and its gotten too much. Now we don't know how to get away from him. We have tried saying we like being in this place on our own, and this completely goes over his head. What do we do now? We don't want to be mean. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Girlfriend [F18] goes to college and tells me [M17] i have can't talk to her till I learn to be happy without her POST: My girlfriend of 9 months went to college a week ago. At the start of our relationship I gave up all of my friends and relationships to be with her and this summer we spent every day together. Now that she is at college I don't have anyone to talk to and she only calls me at about 1 AM every day and once in the morning. Every time she has called i have been sad and generally depressed feeling because she has made a whole group of new people that she uses to substitute me (her words) so she doesn't miss me. I on the other hand don't have anyone right now and she has been choosing time with her friends over calling me. The latest example is that she didn't call me at 1:00 because she had to play uno with her friends. Now she says my sadness is making her unhappy and she will break up with me if I dont get over it. I love this girl more than anything but now she says I can only call her once a day till I learn to be happy. Please help me TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I [26F] stop resenting my boyfriend [43M] of four years? POST: My live-in boyfriend - let's call him Allen - and I have a good relationship. We share interests, are able to communicate well, support each other and are very much in love. However, I feel that as time passes I am beginning to resent certain things that I am struggling to let go. Allen doesn't care much about keeping house, for example, which means I make most purchases for the home, big and small - I research and shop around for everything from our sofa to pillows to laundry detergent. If we run out of coffee filters and I don't restock, he uses paper towels. When it got over 100 degrees this summer, he went to Starbucks every day until I bought us an AC unit and fans. I am a somewhat particular consumer, so I don't mind having the responsibility of making purchases, but the fact is that I end up paying for all these items. He will sometimes split the cost with me if it is a large purchase, but I have to ask. Other purchases he deems "unnecessary" - for example, I have wanted to replace his set of smelly, stained, 6+ year old comforters since we met, but he insists they are fine. Similarly, our (not cheap) TV sat on top of milk crates for two years until I broke down and bought a media console. His disinterest in making our house a functioning home has the combined effect of making me resentful both for his unequal financial contribution and the fact that I feel like an interloper in his life. I feel like I have nagged him about this issue enough, and how can I ask him to pay for things he doesn't feel he "needs"? If I simply stop purchasing household items it becomes a game of chicken that I always lose - he is willing to wash his hair with hand soap: I am not. I have tried to simply "let it go", but it's hard to forget about something you're confronted with on a daily basis. What do I do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [17m] want to know when works best for calling her [17f], but it's supposedly "lame" and "weak" to ask a girl that. What do I do? POST: So this girl and I have been talking for almost two months, and things have been going great - we have a lot of things in common, we've really hit it off (in-person and through texting), and we've both expressed strong interest through mutual friends. We've also talked about our interest in each other briefly. However, we haven't really defined the relationship. I'm trying to invite her to a movie in a couple of weeks (after talking about hanging out soon, that was the soonest that we could both do something) where I'm thinking about going for holding hands; maybe even talking about "us." Until then, I feel like it'd be wise build more of a base to our communication. By that, I mean to talk more on the phone. We've talked once on the phone already, but neither of us have consistent schedules, so we've missed each other a few times. She doesn't like talking to me in front of her parents, because they're pretty intrusive in our communication sometines, so that's always something to consider. We're both pretty busy people, so it's not always convenient to talk on the phone. Should I ask her before calling her? I'd like to call her right now, but I don't know if she can talk at the moment. I called her twice yesterday, and I really wanted to talk to her, but I didn't want to keep trying and be annoying. I also didn't want to put her on the spot by asking if she couldn't talk now and could just talk later. That night, she apologized about not answering (she was out for dinner when I called), but it didn't really help me with knowing when I should call her in the future. My friends said that it'd be weak/lame to ask her if I can call or when I can call, so I just don't know what to do. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Will a court offer a continuance if there was a planned out of the country vacation beforehand? POST: Smart people of Reddit: I have a friend who is a single mother. The ex-husband does not pay his child support (3 kids) and is now trying to get his child support reduced. He has the money to pay it, but he is clever about hiding how much he makes. He even put his new wife's name on the house so it would look like he didn't own it. Anyway, he's going to take her to court to lower the child support while she's on a (way in advance planned) out of the country trip. Yes, he's an asshole. Does she have any chance of a continuation on this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my GF [26 F] am worried about risking a malnourished relationship with my GF of 2 weeks due to a month long work trip POST: Just over a month ago I met a woman I really like. We usually speak for at least 2 hours a day and we see each other whenever we can. Although we've never made it "official", I think it's safe to say we crossed that boundary a couple of weeks ago. So far she seems like the ying to my yang. We're both Intelligent (I actually rarely admit I am), but our interests oppose. I'm the logical, scientific kind and she's the creative, free spirit kind. A scientist and an artist don't sound like a couple who should get on really well, but we do. However, as fate would have it, I'm leaving to work at another faculty for a month in another country in a few days. I'm worried about whether spending so much time apart so early on is going to be detrimental to our relationship. We're still exploring each other as people and I worry that if this doesn't happen now, then it could lead to problems further down the line. I guess what I'm saying is that the relationship could start off malnourished. Does anybody else have any advice or experience they would be willing to share? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by calling a four year old a bastard POST: This happened on Halloween two or three years ago. I was at the door handing out candy while my wife took the kids trick-or-treating. Sometimes the kids really don't bother with costumes, but other times whole families really get into it. That was definitely the case with one Star Wars family. Mom looked awesome as Princess Leia, dad was properly suited up as a decently menacing Darth Vader, and their four-ish year old son was a credible Luke, complete with the mop of dirty blonde hair. Adorable. I always like to say something to the kids, especially if they've made an effort, rather than just tossing the fun size Snickers into their bags, so I crouch down to the kid and start talking. "Is that your lightsaber?" "Can you use the Force?" And then to kid around a bit, I point at dad and try to crack a joke about the whole "Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER" line. But what ends up tumbling out of my mouth to the kid is "You know, I don't really think he's your father." Jaws drop, silence ensues, as the kid sits there speechless as it sinks in that I had really botched the movie reference and the whole family actually just heard me tell the kid that Daddy isn't really Daddy. After an uncomfortably long moment they quickly turned and stepped off the porch into the night while I slunk back inside. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22F] with my old highschool best friend [22 F] she's depressed and her mother reached out to me for help POST: Okay bear with me through the backstory & I hope this is the right place to post this. My friend, let's call her Ella, and I were best friends through high school and the first year and a half or so of college. We started going down separate roads mid-sophomore yearish where I stopped smoking weed and started living a much healthier/responsible lifestyle while she dropped out of uni and started getting in to more heavier drugs. We kept in contact via social media & texting some times, but she moved around a bit for a boy and a dead-end job before moving back in to the area, so I never really saw her much - I think we met for lunch a couple times. Ella also has dealt with depression and anorexia for as long as I've known her and it doesn't help that she has a poor relationship with her parents. Flash forward to this morning and I got a facebook message from her mother (let's call her Betty) saying how worried she was about Ella and how Ella hasn't been talking with the family lately, how Ella is not in a good place physically/mentally or anything, & how worried she is for her only daughter's health. I chatted with Betty about how we've not spoken in a while but I would do what I can & she thanked me. I messaged Ella trying to figure out how to help her (she had posted a facebook update about how her family wasn't supporting her earlier today) and it seems to stem from medical help. Although she's covered by their insurance, Ella is under 90lbs and desperately needs serious treatment but cannot afford it. At the moment, I'm messaging her just trying to be there for her and trying to help find solutions, despite the fact that we've not spoken in ~a year. How can I reconnect with an Ella and help her get the help she so desperately needs? I feel so guilty that I faded from our friendship when she started doing drugs... I should have tried to talk her out of stuff like that years ago. How can I help her? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girl [26 F] 3yr committed, traveling with another guy? POST: Gday all, A little history, my girlfriend is a bit of a tomboy, she grew up with only her dad car racing/boat racing/male activities etc so she's always gotten on better with guys than girls. Few months a go she became real close with one of her male friends, this guys pretty respectful often asks me first if i mind them both going out doing xyz together, I often get invited out with them also. This guy also is pretty feminine, reads woman mags, in to fashion, shopping etc, some of my own male friends have asked if his actually gay - which he claims his not. So my girlfriend wants to go to another city for a night or two with this guy to do 'girly' stuff as she puts it, they have better shops, better arty style places as we live in a smallish town. I am kinda jealous she spends so much time with another guy, almost more than with me some days. But I also know what it's like to have friends in your life you can chill with like that. I'm not comfortable with her going away on a ~3hr plane ride to another city with a guy, if it was a girl I would be far less concerned. She asked me in front of him if I would mind and I straight up said I'm not too hot on the idea. He said he respects that and won't push it. She also admitted if the tables were turned she would have the same response as me, but only because i don't have super close girl friends. Not sure if I am being jealous or this is a general concern most redditors would have. As a male i would not travel 1 on 1 with another girl who was in a committed relationship. What are your thoughts Reddit? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: "It's none of your business" POST: 19F here. I've been dating my boyfriend (20) for almost three years now. Lately if he tells me he has to go somewhere, I'll ask him where, he'll say "it's none of your business". Or just in general, he'll tell me he has to do something, and when I ask about it, he'll tell me it's none of my business. This bugs me a little, but am I wrong for being bothered? I don't understand why he'd tell me he has to do something and then tell me to mind my own business when I ask about it. Nothing too big, not much of a deal breaker, just wanted to know if I'm wrong or over-exaggerating for being bothered by it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Me [28M] and her [31F] - A little advice in moving this forward POST: I met her online. We've been out on four dates in three weeks, I stayed at her place on Friday night and had a lot of fun. I really like her, she likes me (I think?!?) - this is my first serious attempt at a relationship in a few years and I am fucking nervous as hell at this point that I'll fuck up by being too attached or wanting to make too many plans too quickly. Help me reddit! How should I proceed with grace here to take this to the next level of seriousness. She was going out with her girlfriends last night for dinner and I messaged her that if she didn't have plans afterwards we could chill and watch a movie but she never got back to me. I had also suggested when I left her place yesterday that we could do something today but she's out with her girls. Am I just freaking out about nothing at all (I don't even know what I am freaking out about)? I had my heart broken really badly four years ago and I've been very careful about committing my feelings to someone since then, so this is all unfamiliar and scary territory for me. TL;DR: