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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 21M am thinking about breaking up with my Girlfriend 20F of 6 months, is it good reasoning?
POST: I met this girl last spring at my university, and we have hit it off. I took her virginity, and I believe she has grown attached to me. While I was out of the country in the summer, we managed to keep in touch.
We do spend a good amount together, we like each other a lot, and she makes me very happy.
We don't really have many problems in the relationship so far, and haven't really argued. However, she wants to do a semester abroad in Europe. This isn't concrete, but if this does go accordingly, she would be gone from next August-December.
I know this is really selfish of me, but I want her to go somewhere in the summer, so she will be with me during the year. Should I just save myself a lot of pain later and end things early? I really like her so much, I am just at lost.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, have you ever stood up to a bully? If so, did you use physical force or did you solve the situation verbally?. Have you ever let a bully get away with bullying someone? Do you have regrets?
POST: I was recently wondering if many people have stood up to people that bully them or other people such as friends, classmates etc., and how they stood up to them...or didn't. I have stood up to bullies numerous times as I was the biggest guy in my grades at the time (all in elementary school years 1-8), but when i was younger i would just ignore them and let them bully me. I will try to list out my experiences Chronologically, starting with **grade 1**. I was 6 years old and being bullied by a guy who was backed by a group of his friends for the entire year (they were 2 years older than me). Basically, I never retaliated, even when they went so far as to shove me into the dirt and kick me. **grade 2** I had gained a new best friend that year, and he was being bullied by two kids a grade above us. One day during recess, one of the bullies chased him around and tripped him, causing him to get a bloody nose. I helped my friend up, then walked over to the bully and said something along the lines of "Don't hurt my friend" then punched him once in the chest, causing him to fall down and start crying. **grades 3-8** I never stood up to bullies physically ever again, as i was able to talk them out of bullying people and was probably physically imposing to them as I was the largest guy at my school.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] think I may have cheated on my girlfriend [19F] of 2 years. I feel awful and confused...
POST: My girlfriend suffered from anxiety. I'll spare the gorey details, but it reached a low last summer. We went nearly a month without even talking because she was too far gone to even talk to me. Before that was about another 2 months of basically the relationship breaking down. I felt powerless. I was afraid she didn't love me, because at that point, she wouldn't open up to me about any of it. That anxiety was contagious and I started feeling like I was going down a road I had been down before.
I called it off. I broke up with her, and explained that the relationship had become too taxing. At least I thought I did. I sort of did it in an emotional rush, and I didn't communicate properly. Emotionally, I was in a bad place, but not as bad as her, obviously. However, I was afraid it would be even worse without her, so once I talked to her about that, I said we should talk again in a month, and see how we feel.
Days later, I went to a club and a girl came on to me. We went back to my house. I couldn't stop thinking about her. So quickly after she took her clothes off, I ended up telling her to get out, and we never spoke again. We didn't have sex, we didn't do anything. I have no way to contact her and vice versa.
The next morning, I felt awful. I wanted to speak with her but we still needed time apart. Some time later, we spoke and she was doing much better. I think she shook herself awake and climbed out of the pit. We got back together. I didn't tell her what made me realize I missed her so much.
We're still together and stronger than ever. Her anxiety has died down, and she's very happy, as am I. We closed that chapter long ago.
I've been thinking about it a lot recently. Should I tell her? Is it within her "right" to know?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Kissing My Best Friend
POST: So this was a few years back but I definitely still remember it. I was about 16 at the time. My best friend, for privacy let's call her Aly, and I were pretty close. We talked everyday, texted, went out with friends etc. Well all that was about to change. My parents knew hers so if they had to go somewhere and I was bored at home I'd go over to her house since we lived fairly close. One day my parents had a christmas party to attend and I was sitting at home being bored as hell so I decided to give Aly a visit and thought we would watch a movie or something. I got to her house and as usual I was welcomed inside. We decided to go to the basement where there was a projection screen for movies. Coincidentally her parents had something to attend as well so they left about half an hour of me arriving. Now this movie we were watching wasn't exactly clean and so there were sexual references within it. There was this one specific scene which I have to admit turned me on a little. Apparently it effected my friend a little too much and she suddenly came in close. During the heat of the moment I went in as well and it lasted about 5-7 seconds. When we came apart she looked to me and I saw she wanted more. I freaked out and jumped back saying I had to go, almost slipping on the carpet. I went home and thought about what just happened. Maybe I overreacted a little too much, maybe not? She definitely thought so. After that I didn't really go to her house or talk or text her. Thinking back, I still don't know what I should have done but I surely fucked up.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my roommate & close friend [26 F] of one year. My friend asked me why I am mean to her. I do not believe I treat her any differently and she gives me as much shit as I give her but I do not really say nice things to anyone. How can I learn to start doing compliments?
POST: I never got comfortable getting/giving compliments, so i tease people to give that kind of affection. I give and take shit from my friends all the time so no one who hangs out with me is that thin skinned. However, my one friend has asked rhetorically why I am so mean to her though it seemed she was half joking. She was smiling when she said it it but its something I have heard a couple times before from other people.
_
I dont feel the need to be super nice but I also really really don't want to be a bully. I tease people much less than I used to and I am more careful not to tease them about something they care about because at some point it does feel like picking on them instead of playful ribbing. But to reiterate I really do not tease that much or that aggressively any more.
_
The main problem as I see it is the only feedback I give is negative even if it is given jokingly. It's hard for me to know what's appropriate b/c I would feel super uncomfortable if someone directly complimented me to my face. I have tried giving compliments before but they almost always feel clunky and weirdly serious compared to the rest of what im saying.
_
Specifically when I have complimented Sally she has reacted confused and her face looks like it just smelled something awful. I am not looking to specifically treat her any differently but rather how I can learn to become nicer to all of my friends at least to the point that no one thinks I am picking on them.
_
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of 19 months, she has just started university in the same city as me and I feel her new friends have replaced me.
POST: There may be a few posts from me, we got problems, but we want to fix everything back to normal!
She just started university almost 3 weeks ago now and I do see her everyday, but we just don't spend proper quality time together any more I feel. I see her and we just sit around in her room, argue about things (far too many disagreements at the moment, but that's a story for another time), make up and argue again. Neither of us want this.
I want to go out with her but she keeps bailing on me for her friends. I feel like I'm just not very important to her at the moment. I understand she wants to make new friends with these people. That's not the issue. I go out with them, and let her go out with them but I'm just asking her maybe once a week to come out with me and have a nice night with me.
She's now bailed on me 3 nights in a row and is trying to do it again tonight to go out with her friends because she "likes going out with them." Fair enough but I would hope she likes going out with me too! She makes promises that we will and they just fall through.
I'm not really asking too much am I? I don't want to force her to come out with me but I feel like I am. What am I supposed to do to get her to realise that she needs to balance her time better and make time for everyone. i.e. don't make plans with me if she's not gonna stick to them. I don't wanna argue with her about, that's happening too much and we're fed up. How do I approach her though?
Thanks guys, you're all I've got to turn to to be honest!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my partner[25 M] of 8.5 years, how can I stop being a judgmental and unreasonable bitch?
POST: I have been with my partner for 8.5 years. We met in year 12. I have no doubt in my mind that we will grow old together (hopefully) and spend many wonderful years together.
The problem is, I was raised by a borderline narcissistic mother who instilled ridiculous beliefs in me. To put it bluntly, I moved out and lived independently at 16, 200+ kms from my parents. I worked the entire time I was at College and then I immediately went to University where I graduated a three year course in Bachelor of Nursing in a fast-track two years while still working to support myself and now I am an RN for 5 years, I have a full time job and am financially secure.
My partner, on the other hand, ditched college, got a job as a pizza delivery driver, worked odd jobs, then got a full time position in retail, then management. For a few years we were on the same financial level.
Now, he has gone to Uni to get a degree in computing. He spends every day and night sighing and ranting about his assignments, how he hates Java and programming, how his classmates are losers and how his lecturers aren't helpful at all.
I have become financially responsible for a lot of the "big expenses" (he gets financial aide that covers rent, groceries) like we needed tyres for the car, the power bill came in, etc. We never go anywhere. "we" can't afford it. I can, he can't. He says he will pay me back but he already owes me thousands of dollars. I don't expect to get it back.
I have no idea if it is realistic that he will graduate and get a decent job. I have been through the "poor Uni student" phase and am now financially a LOT more secure than he is. I am sick of doing nothing every weekend, and living like I'm poor when I'm not any more.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with past friends [24-25 M/F], should I apologize for past behavior?
POST: Hey everyone, just have what might seem like a silly question about some old friends from high school and various jobs I have had. This site helped me a lot a few years ago with a relationship issue, so I thought everyone could maybe give me their opinion on another matter.
My final year of high school and a couple years after, I was a jerk. A lot of close friendships ended because I was immature and couldn't have a serious talk to save my life. I really don't want to get into all the details, but it consists mostly of me just ignoring these people until they stopped trying to keep the friendship going.
I really just want everyone's opinion on apologizing. At this point in life I am back in school and am quite happy. I have quite a great group of friends, and learning from my mistakes I try my hardest to be the best friend I can be to them. But I still think about all these people from my past who did not deserve to be treated the way they were. I have been recently going through my Facebook and clearing out all the people who I have no idea why I added, and have come to these old friends. I decided I would type up these apologies, explaining why I was an asshole and they did not deserve it, and wish them the best. But after thinking about it for awhile, I became quite nervous what these people would really think about it.
I'm not doing this to save our friendship and I am not making excuses for the way I acted, I just want to finally take responsibility for my immature actions when I was younger. So does this sound like a good idea? Or should I just leave it since they have probably moved on?
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Don't fall for "minimum payments" on loans!
POST: Probably preaching to the choir here, but I felt like I needed to share my mom's story. She is working on paying off a loan with a relatively high interest rate. She makes payments when she can and tries to throw extra money at it whenever it is possible. However, some large expenses came up, and because her statements showed "$0 due" (or sometimes it said a payment wasn't due for many months), my mother skipped a few payments on the loan.
She didn't understand that interest is always accruing, and that banks like to keep the balance of unpaid interest off of the statements. This has resulted in her paying roughly 2,000 USD without the principal coming down at all! In fact, she still has a couple hundred (I worked through the math for her) to pay before *any* of her payments go to principal.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29 M] broke up with my ex fiance [26 F] after she mentioned that she wanted to see her exes child. Am I in the wrong?
POST: So here's the story...
Me and my ex were together previously for 3 years. 3 months after I popped the question, she broke up with me and stated that she was not ready for marriage. It turns out, she started dating someone that she was working with a month after we broke up.
Fast forward to 6 months later, we reconnect and we decide to give things another shot. She mentioned to me that she wants to spend some days with her exes kid and that she really missed the kid and wants him back in her life. She said it has nothing to do with the guy, she wouldn't even be seeing the ex. I told her to decide between the kid or myself, and that I don't want any part of her ex coming in between us. We haven't talked for a week.
Am I in the wrong for breaking up because of this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to tell boyfriend I goofed up?
POST: 24/f, 29/m together for a year. I performed poorly in high school and B.A, while my boyfriend has done pretty well for himself.
Two months before my M.A finals, I decided to skip them because, in my case, it is of no use to score just pass marks with poor preparation. In view of my career goals, I need to be among the top-scorers otherwise I might as well drop out. I need at least four months of consistent hard-work to face exams with confidence.
But I did not tell any of this to my boyfriend who thinks I'm going to sit my finals this month. If i told him the truth, he would tag me a loser. I don't want to think I am a loser (read: any longer) because now I have completed a major chunk of my syllabus and my mock tests say I will do well.
But I have no spine to confess my admittedly loser-like act to my boyfriend. Given my history of skipping exams and poor scores, he already thinks that I'm delusional to set up a challenging career goal for myself, that I am not intellectually capable to perform well academically.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my SO[32/F] 3 years, want to know reddit's opinion on disclosure of personal information.
POST: Backstory: my father was physically and emotionally abusive, abandoned my mother and I when I was young. After my mother died I reestablished contact. He proved to be a terrible person. In fact, he was being so abusive to the children in his new family that my long time significant other and I went to social services and had an investigation started about the abuse ending any and all contact with him. In short, he is a bad dude and someone worthy of being embarrassed of as a father.
Now: Years after ending all contact my so and I have moved back to the much smaller town that I grew up in and where he also lives. She mentioned that someone asked her if Mr. Numberbang Sr was my father and she confirmed elaborating what a bad guy he is. Personally, I was mortified that she would air my/our dirty laundry publicly and erupted in anger. She said that either she was going to elaborate on what an all purpose piece of shit he was or flatly deny my relationship to him.
While I am ashamed of my father, I am proud of the person I have become in spite of him and now neither want to claim or deny his paternity. Instead, I requested that if asked she acknowledge that it is indeed my father, but that we have no contact. She felt I was stifling her ability to distance herself from him and I felt her behavior suggests I should be ashamed somehow for myself. What do you think reddit?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by cockblocking my best friend (possible NSFW)
POST: So, I should start this by saying I have little to no filter on the things I say, and this progressively gets worse as alcohol has entered my system. In the past I have been described as having "tourrettes in full sentences".
Anyway, this was a while back but I was hanging out at a bar with a few of my friends getting obliterated. I decide it's time for a smoke, so I walk outside and see a woman talking to my best friend. Now, I couldn't pick this girl out from a crowd the next day due to the copious amounts of alcohol, but all I could remember was that she was insanely gorgeous. So I walk up to them, and the first thing I do when I see her is look straight into her eyes and say, "You know, I'd really love to see your mouth around my cock."
Needless to say she was not happy about this, nor was my best friend as he was actually making progress towards taking her home. She immediately threw her cigeratte on the ground, disgusted, and left. Meanwhile, in my drunken state I couldn't see anything wrong with what I said.
Fast forward 2 years later to present day, my buddy and I are out at a different bar and I see him chatting up this beautiful woman and then she just leaves. I walk up to him and ask, "Why aren't you chasing after that, man?". His only response, "Does the phrase 'I would love to see your mouth around my cock' sound familiar to you?" Yup, it was the same girl and I felt like a total dick.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my vampire office colleague [~24F]. How do I deal with him for the next six months?
POST: We're master students who have to sit in the same office till October or so when he leaves. Even on the rainiest, stormiest days, he wants to close the window blinds completely, not letting in even a bit of light. I suffer from mild depression in the winter and I generally feel really really uncomfortable when I can't look outside my window. It's now summer and on some days it's too sunny to look at our computer screens and I'm happy to close them on such days. Not on the grey days though. How do I tolerate him? I'm going through funny moods again at the moment and I just want to scream my head off but I'm trying to be calm about it.
On a usual day, he walks in and shuts the blinds without asking me while I usually ask him before. Today, I walk in and open the blinds like he does and he gets upset and says "OMGGGGGGGGG what are you doingggggggggg there are mosquitoes trying to get innnnnnnnnn". Completely illogical. I'm slowly losing it and the anger and darkness are consuming any hope of concentrating on my work.
I know I have to work on my own anger but what am I supposed to do about this situation in general? I don't want to discuss my mental health with this guy or anything. I just want to see daylight while I'm at work :(
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [32F] interested in [41M] coworker...who is also a team manager.
POST: For the past year, I have had a small crush on a co-worker who just happens to be a manager of one of my teams at work. He's single, asks me to go with him to get drinks after work(which he pays for after I tell him I will gladly buy our drinks,etc), shares similar interests with me(ex. leaves posts on my social media channels of music or movie news, "friends" me on most of these platforms, we make small talk about news or about our families), drives me home after work some nights, and is generally a considerate person. Yet, I can't tell what the deal is--he has mentioned in team work outings to the bars around work that he would never date anyone from work but how "super single" he is.
Not sure if I should make a move, or mention to him my feelings. I'm also concerned about our working relationship...yet people at work do date and some are even engaged(I work with 500+ people) or married(met at work). Am I making this more complicated?
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SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Any advice for a traveler from Nova Scotia regarding healthcare?
POST: I'm from Nova Scotia and spent 2008/09 living abroad in New Zealand on a work visa, and visiting around SE Asia for a few months afterwards. I was gone in total for about 15 months. Of course, now myself and my girlfriend have caught the travel bug, and have spent the whole time since coming back saving up for another work visa trip in Australia. The problem is, anyone I've talked to at MSI (provincial healthcare) says that I have to live in the Canada for at least 5 years before I can live in another country again for a year or more and retain my healthcare coverage. This just seems wrong to me. Healthcare being one of the things that Canadians seem to take a lot of pride in, and it can be taken away for a few fits of wanderlust? I mean, I'm a Canadian citizen, I'm not obtaining citizenship somewhere else, it's just a visit (albeit a long one). I honestly thought the agent I talked to was full of shit, but I've had it repeated upon calling back. Does anybody else from Nova Scotia (or any other province for that matter) have this problem? Are they full of shit? Or if not, should I just not tell them I'm leaving, what would be the repercussions? I know of Canadians, though not first-hand and not from Nova Scotia, who have taken several long trips abroad within short periods of time... does everyone who does so have this problem? Can they really stop my coverage?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (27F) might be moving for work next year, my SO (25F) of a year won't even consider long-distance
POST: There is a good (I'd say 60%) chance I'll be moving to another city for a job opportunity in early 2016. The job market in my field is pretty flooded where I live, and pay/benefits will probably be better if I go elsewhere. My SO has commitments locally that will keep her here for around another year after that, and I wouldn't want her to drop everything and follow me anyway. I was hoping that she would be open to at least trying to continue our relationship, but when I brought it up she made it clear that if I leave we're over at least for now. (She did say we could reassess once she's able to move, but that's a long time from now and a lot of shit can happen in two years.) Other than this issue, everything is fine. I would even have said it was "great" a few days ago, but to be honest our discussion about my potential move has made me start to reassess.
Should we just break up now? When we originally talked about this I thought I was fine, but it's been eating away at me over the past few days.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (25F) tell my son (5M) that my husband (28M) is not his bio dad?
POST: There is another post that's similar to this, I know, but our situation is a little different and I didn't want k hijack that woman's post with my own issue!
Anyways, I have a wonderful 5 year old son who means the WORLD to me, he's my pride and joy, and I hate to think about hurting him or causing him pain in the future.
My husband is Not his biological father. His biological "father" was a sperm donor who was a really crummy dude and I haven't spoken to since I was 5 weeks pregnant and never will.
Husband and I have been together since our son was 6 months. He's always been daddy, and always will be. I just saw another poster in this sub about telling her daughter her bf is not "daddy" and realized that was something we had never even thought about! He's been around so long it never crossed my mind.
So now I'm filled with worry that: my son will be upset, he'll be confused or sad, he won't understand, he'll say something hurtful to his dad, etc. my husband is also nervous too. Neither of us obviously want to have this conversation. Would we be horrible parents if we just ignored it, because he is for all intents and purposes his father? He's even on the birth certificate. Please don't jump down my throat if that's wrong. Like I said, this is new territory for both of us and we're just scared and confused and trying to do as little damage as possible.
My husband is more worried about this than I am. If we have to tell him, would it be something I could talk to him about and leave his dad out of it? Or would we both need to tackle it?
Again, please be nice. This is a really confusing and stressful issue for me.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(19) and my gf(19) are having issues cause she can't accept how pretty she is.
POST: Me and my gf have been together for 3 months now. Everything is good, i like her she likes me but there are always those rocky roads. It always has to do with her past. She was cheated on in her last relationship. This effects ours because now I can't give her compliments. It is a problem because since she got cheated on, she sees every girl better then her. I think my gf is gorgeous. The best part is her personality which gets me all the time but now sees me as "too good" She said the other day that " there is someone better for me out there" She can't accept herself being who she is because she thinks I'm going to cheat on her.
The question is, how can I make her feel good when saying your beautiful and gorgeous wont work? I would enjoy having a girls input and guys as well.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tonight I woke up to find someone watching me sleep, when I got up and turned on the light, i woke up and saw no one was there. What is the weirdest, most vivid dream you have had?
POST: Tonight I had a nightmare that someone was let into my house, just to sit at the end of my bed watching me sleep. When I woke up in my dream I would yell at the person to leave and I would push them out of my house. In my front yard for some reason there was also lots of ghosts.
This then repeated about 10 more times, not as separate dreams, but all as one long one. This lady just kept getting in my house. Every time I would yell and kick her out.
When I woke up, I was scared to say the least. Then I saw someone move at the end of my bed. I yelled who are you and what are you doing here. Jumping out of my bed to get this person out, they moved to the corner of my room and huddled there as I continue to yell. At this point my voice isn't normal, its deeper and harsher then normal, but I just figured it was because I was scared. When I eventually reached the light and turned it on, the person had disappeared. It was another dream, but so vivid I actually was out of bed, standing where I dreamt I was.
This sort of thing has never happened to me, so I'm reasonably freaked out. Is it normal or has Reddit had similar things happen to them?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my partner [24 F] of one year, losing her because of my own ignorance and need guidance.
POST: I'll try and make this short and sweet.
I have never been in any real relationship before. I have a lot of experience with women, but the few relationships I did stay in were either very casual or emotionally abusive (on both of our ends; I am no saint). I have no idea how to relationship, if that makes any sense. For this past year, I have really been bumbling my way through things and my partner has been patient and understanding. Now that we are getting serious, problems are starting to arise.
I am not very sensitive, and I am clueless when it comes to showing affection or appreciation. She does so much for me and I have no idea how to reciprocate in a normal relationship. It is making her feel unappreciated and unloved; that our partnership is unbalanced. This is the farthest from the truth, but my infrequent attempts have been childish or stupid. Poems, little gifts, dates... stuff that prepubescent kids do.
She has done everything for me, and is the first person I have ever cared this much about. I have never felt more happy and loved than when I am with her. I want to be better for her, but I'm not sure where to start. Please, if you have any experience with shows of affection or appreciation, share them with me. I need some form of inspiration or understanding so I can make a run at this. I'm sure that once it becomes a regular thing, it will become more natural. For now, I am as awkward as an angry duck at a funeral.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] will need to support a friend [21F] through her mother's [50sF] passing within a week. All advice appreciated.
POST: My friend's mum is about to lose a long battle with cancer. It's been a long road and my friend is obviously devastated, but she's putting on a brave face, and at this point I think she's ready for it to be over.
Before she knew the timing of her mum's death, she booked to go on a holiday with us all, (we're leaving on Friday for a week), so it's not unlikely that it will happen whilst we are away. She's talked to her dad about it and because of the condition her mum is in, she'd rather be on holiday with us having fun than sitting at home waiting for the inevitable. We'll be staying near an airport that has return flights back every hour so she can be home within six hours if the worst does happen.
So we're prepared to help her with the practical things, we know how to get her to the airport and we've all been keeping an eye on flights and costs, but I'd like advice regarding the more emotional aspects.
How can I emotionally support her during this time? She'll be with her boyfriend who is awesome, but he's been supporting her through this whole ordeal and I think it's taken more of a toll on him than he is letting on.
All and any advice would be much appreciated, I've never experienced this before and I'd like to avoid mucking it up!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16M] girlfriend [16F] still has pictures of her and her ex on Facebook.
POST: So we have been dating for 5 months now. We are both very happy in the relationship. But the one thing that keeps bugging me is that she still has pictures of her and her ex on Facebook
She told me that her ex was terrible and that she's happy that she left him. They have been dating for about a year but he cheated on her.
I already told her once that it bothered me that she still has those pictures online. She told me not to worry about it. But she never did anything about them.
Am i overreacting? And can i maybe find a friendly way to tell her that i don't like the pictures she has on her facebook?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf 25f "ignoring" me when I, 20m, just got surgery.
POST: My gf and I (20m 25f dating 6months) are separated for 3 weeks by long distance right now. She is coincidentally going on a 4-day vacation with her girlfriends right when I got my surgery. I was nervous last night and wanted to talk to her, but she got in later than planned and said "sorry just saw your text. getting close," at around 2am. So we didn't talk.
Then she said she would call me tonight when my surgery was today at 8am because "she does want to know how it goes." I know she's getting drunk with her friends and will not call me tonight. This morning she just sent a quick text saying "hey hope the surgery goes well."
This is a major surgery on my forearms that affects my ability to be a pro musician. Am I right to be upset?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23f] fiance [24m] ended our relationship. I don't know where to start.
POST: My fiancé broke up with me two nights ago. "I'm still in love with you, but I'm not willing to put effort into this."
I've been justifying his behaviors for about a year. The truth is, that if by December (the end of my school semester), he still wasn't doing anything to *try* in our relationship, I was going to force myself to leave him. I love him with all my heart, but I was going to put my self-respect first. The thing is though, that I was going to TRY first. I was going to make an effort to work things out.
He hit me with this curve ball two nights ago. This is the second time in our relationship that he's done this, and he doesn't get another chance. I know that he's going to come crawling back, either two weeks from now or two months from now, and I'll have to not take him back.
I'm definitely in a bad place right now. I've pretty much cried for two days. I've been staying with a friend because he and I live together (we moved in together a year and a half ago, and things were great for the longest time.) I'm not ready to see or speak to him.
I guess I'm just wondering where to start with picking up the pieces. I can't take the cat (even though she loves me more. The place I'm moving to is no pets. My mom did say she'll take her though, so I might take her there), the person that I considered my best friend, confidant, and life partner is gone, the school semester just started last week (and I work a full time job), I have to move on literally no notice... I'm in emotional anguish right now. The person I built my life with and was building a future with just decided to dip. And the life that I've busted my ass to build for myself, is gone. The home I made for myself is gone. I don't know how to go about separating our things, or moving, or rebuilding my life, or staying a new home for myself, or dealing with any of this, either emotionally or logistically. How do I do this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20M] Lied about having sex with a distant friend, now she's coming to visit and I'm caught in my reprehensible lie. What is the right thing to do?
POST: I lived with this girl for a year, and harboured a crush on her. She went back to her home country and I got over myself so we became close friends. I visited her last year so she's visiting me this year.
I went to University after she left and people were talking about sex and relationships, so in an immature and morally corrupt attempt to look more grown up I said I'd been having sex with my friend which is a complete lie but the first thing to come to mind. I suppose I thought there'd be no consequences....
Now she's coming to visit two years after this and I just remembered what I told them so long ago. I'm obviously hoping they either don't remember or don't bring it up but if they do... well I'd definitely lose a friend and they'll think I'm scum (I am) for lying about things like that.
My girlfriend knows about the lie and the reality but if everyone else were to find out then they'd lose all respect for me. The worst thing of all is I'm sure my visiting friend will be disgusted and I'll lose one of my closest companions.
I'm caught in a trap of my own creation and I'm not sure how to act. Should I tell everyone and try to laugh it off? Should I just hope they don't bring it up? What if they figure it out? I'm scared I'll lose two years of progress (before that I had zero social life) over such a juvenile decision. **What should I do in this situation?
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SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: I let my 9 year old get sunburned on purpose today, am I horrible for doing so?
POST: So my 9 year old is very opinionated. She constantly argues with her mother and I about everything, and throws tantrums that rival her younger brother when we argue with her.
We were running late for her camp today (indoor camp, but they spend a few hours outside), so I did not have time to put sunblock on her. Once I signed her in I went to reach for the sunblock in my bag, and she completely freaked out. She could hear the music starting for camp and didn't want to be late (all in the car she argued with me that we weren't going to be late, which is another story for another time). She kept trying to tell me that she didn't need sunblock because it was cloudy outside, to which I replied "I don't have the time to explain how the sun works today, so you can either put this on or get sunburned." To which she replied, "I'm not wearing it and I'm not getting sunburned." So I let her go. Reddit parents, am I horrible for doing this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So it's 5PM EST; share your worst experience thus far for today's Friday the 13th.
POST: I've always wanted to see if people had truly bad experiences on this day, or if the normal, everyday "bad" just amplifies for someone due to the lore behind this day.
I'll start: At about 12:30 AM, my mom calls me asking if she knew where my dad was. He had dropped me off back at my apartment a few hours prior, so he should've been home by now. I had no clue where he was and his phone went straight to voicemail. I knew he mentioned going to a friend's house. I call the friend if he's heard from my dad and no dice (he was actually concerned and told me to call back when I heard from him). I try his phone again half an hour later, and he answers. I ask where he was, and he said he'd gone to the friend's house. I called the friend and asked if he ever showed, and he said no. I knew he was dishonest to a lot of people, but I always figured he could be straight with me. We would always have long talks about the state of things, how he feels about the family, etc...and this is the first time I accidentally caught him blatantly lying to me (I am 21, and feel so childish that I believed he was always honest with me). I promptly called my mother and lied to her for my father.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Just friends[? or .] Help me figure out the proper punctuation for my situation.
POST: I met him while he was dating a girl who was all wrong for him. After a couple weeks, he wised up to my interest in him and he pulled me aside (drinks involved) to tell me he would NEVER cheat, really enjoys hanging out with me but friendship is all he is after. A couple of months go by, he breaks up with her and we're still hanging out. Hanging out becomes a very regular thing and by month 4, we are hanging out nearly daily. Today, we're both single and incredibly comfortable with one another. Most people we meet think we are a couple and when I tell acquaintances "no", the common response is "yeah, right".
There has been absolutely NO kissing, cuddling, or physical lines crossed. There has also been no clear cut conversations as to boundaries/feelings toward each other. He does check out other girls and comment when we are at the mall/bar/etc. Sometimes, he treats me like one of the guys. However, it's very apparent I am seen as a girl, with all the differences that implies. I do talk about other possible (albeit minor) interests and he shoots down every single guy I even remotely like. I am not his physical "type" but I'm not unattractive and I know there are a few conflict in our dating styles but I know we have the makings of a perfect relationship, if we were to start one.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] she thinks its getting too serious. What do I do? I don't want to lose her
POST: I'll refer to her as Gf.
So tonight after she gave me something for my birthday she texted me that it she was getting too attached to me and said it was bad because she doesn't want to be vulnerable. A few weeks back I told her I wanted to end things because she was stressing me out. she started crying and I told her that we should work things out and we did.
I'm not stressed about her, I've looked past her faults, and she makes me happy. But she texted me saying that she's afraid I'd make her cry again which is why she doesn't want to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend. She says she still cares for me, she says there's "obligations" by being labeled as a couple but those obligations never bothered me.
To me she's irreplaceable and it feels like I can't find a girl like her again, but instead she told me I could find someone else. She says she still cares for me and I believe her. But she says she doesn't want to get too close.
What do I do? I don't want to leave her, I don't want to find someone else. I told her I don't worry about her hurting me, but she says that's because she wouldn't. She said we could talk after next week but I told her the anxiety of this would just stress me out and distract me from finals. She went to bed but I texted her that she's hurting me with this talk of not being a couple because she doesn't want to get too attached.
So what do I do? I'm tempted to message her friend and to tell Gf that I appreciate every thing she does and that i'm sorry for every thing bad I've done and that the only thing I want is to be with her.
If you need more details please let me know.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Drooling at nearly 2 years old...
POST: My little boy is exactly 21 months old today. He's developmentally sound. Great language skills, great fine/gross motor skills and really cheery.
The issue is that he's been drooling at a constant clip since he was 3 months old. When he's teething or sick, we expect it. My boy drool's constantly, though. When he's perfectly healthy, he's drooling. My wife compares him to a snail that leaves a trail wherever he goes.
We talked to our ped about this at a recent visit, and he recommended we see a speech therapist. We took booger man to one for a checkup.
She confirmed what we believed when it comes to his development: he's ahead of where he should be in almost every facet. In fact, she said that based on the amount of drooling he does, she was stunned that he's moving along as well as he is.
Her explanation for the drooling is that my son as slightly low facial muscle tone. We've been given exercises and daily massaging instructions in order to tighten these muscles up.
We've just started the process.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm not looking for love, and neither is my email address.
POST: Background: Back in 2004, I locked down my gmail account simply as my name (an adult move wise beyond my years), and as I got older I believed I had won the gmail lottery given that both my names are so common. However, to this day, I constantly get emails that aren't for me, usually to my address except without the period between my first and last name (which I learned from gmail's handy FAQ will come to me anyway since gmail doesn't actually recognize punctuation). These emails include some professional emails with super sensitive personal information (Re: death in the family, lease agreements, political campaigns, crime spotter alerts, online shopping loyalty programs, everything imaginable...) so I sometimes feel obliged to write back and inform them their recipient is a failure at life and can't even adult. Usually thats an unanswered possible waste of my time, but who knows how many emails and legal conundrums I avoid that way. New emails come and go, but my filter settings are dialled in, life goes on. Since my name doesn't have alternate spellings and these emails are not just spam, I'm just always left wondering if they're too dumb to know they won't get the email or do they really just not realize? Is my name just synonymous with "I can't even adult" or are these person(s) so dumb they are trolling themselves?!
Today... though. Today... was exceptional. This evening I started getting emails from Plenty of Fish every 5 minutes for each message received to the account, starting with a registration email. Curiosity to know who was behind all this got to me and I learned this was the work of a full blown 45 year old adult. And then I realized, there it was: my chance to actually tell this person off! I reset the password, logged in and unsubscribed, but I realized she would never be able to log back in and never know why. So, I wrote a short and sweet message directly on her profile that's probably more than a little humiliating. Heh.... feels so good.
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SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: If you hear something pay attention: an awful first post, but I want to say this, after last night
POST: Even if it's normal for your neighborhood keep an ear out. Because it might not be. I heard a girl sobbing, and crying last night and I assumed it was a bad breakup or a bad trip (I live on the bar walk home) I heard a guy talking to her. I thought it was normal until it was too late. She screamed "oh god somebody please wake up!", while pounding on the window of the car (I think--I don't know what was being pounded on), I looked out the window and this guy had this tiny girl in his arms cramming her into an suv.
I called 911 while I running down the stairs and then after the car. The car circled back around the block and tuned in the same direction it did the first time it left, the girl wasn't visible the second time (I don't know why it did this). A neighbor came out across the street half a minute after I did, while the car circled back (because of the screaming and what he saw out the window), and he got a partial plate and details (my night vision is crap I guess or I was scared). I don't think it's much to go on though.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Someone is threatening me over the phone. What should I do?
POST: So this one person who I JUST met 2 weeks ago lent me $25. He says he is coming to "get me." He claims I better have $45 "or else." I clearly remember telling him that I was getting paid this Friday and that he would have to wait 3 weeks (i just started a new job), however he claims he "can't wait any longer."
To be honest, I feel threatened as hell. #1 i don't have the money to pay him (I only have $20 to my name and my gas tank is empty). and #2 he might know where I live. I have no idea.
What should I do Reddit?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] and my girlfriend [21 F], she wants to get married before we move in together because she is afraid that her religious family will reject her for moving in before we get married.
POST: My SO's family is very religious. They are Presbyterians and her father is a pastor of a church. She has always grown up with Christian values, although she has slowly strayed away from those values the past couple of years (she has had sex before marriage, etc.) They don't know that she has done this.
I am a firm believer that it is important to move in together before getting married, to experience each other both emotionally and be able to rely on each other financially. It is also important to know that I am Jewish.
My SO wants to get married before we move in because she knows that our relationship will prevail and also because she fears that her family will disagree with her moving in before marriage. She believes moving in before marriage will ultimately either create a void between her family and me or will create tensions and judgements from her side of the family towards our relationship.
I don't want to have a relationship that is dictated by religion. I don't want to marry her just because her family has always believed this way to be the right way. I want to marry her because I love her and am sure of our relationship together in the future.
I asked my girlfriend whether she would move in with me before we got married if her family was not in question. She said yes.
What do I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [29 F] 1 year and her depression and anxiety
POST: Hi,
I've been with my current girlfriend for a little over a year. And currently living with her - for less than a month.
Ever since we moved in together it has been an uphill battle of her feeling insecure about everything I say - most of them are trivial things.
I remember reading a thread on Reddit of a woman talking about her experience in a relationship while she was suffering with anxiety, low self-esteem among other mental issues. Then another poster responding to this thread and explaining how it feels from the other side of the relationship.
I have tried finding this thread without any luck. I would love to read the thread again as it explained how I feel about my situation with my girlfriend.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it weird for me [22f] to go out with an alumni frat brother? [29m]
POST: I've personally never been in a realtionship, so I'm unsure if this is weird or not, or maybe I'm just overthinking things.
Anyways, back in April I met an Alumni Frat Brother [29m] at a meeting. I just finished my first year in grad school, whereas he has completed and is a few years out of school. He's been messaging me and has asked me to go out with him twice. The first time I did because I sort of felt bad, and we just went for drinks and then I went to a birthday party after. It was just drinks and talking, nothing major, like I said, I'm new to this whole thing. He asked me today to go see a movie with him tomorrow, and now I'm just curious if this is okay or not.
The field that we're both in can be kind of small and it's very based on networking with other people. And our age gap, is that too big? 7 years?
In the beginning I thought that he'd be a great catch - for someone that isn't me because I can't really match him. I'm in school and will still have to pay off tons of debt, whereas he's completed everything and seems to be financially well off.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 F] girlfriend of 6 months doesn't want me [22 F] to get a nose job
POST: I've been unhappy with my nose for as along as I can remember. It's always had a hump on the bridge but it's gotten bigger since my nose was broken in 2011 and then again in 2015. Now my nose has a larger hump AND it's very crooked.
I brought up the fact that I wanted to get a nose job a few times. The last time I brought it up with my gf was last night and she basically said she'd break up with me if I get a nose job.. then she later said "what if you find someone better after you get it done?". I don't see what she's even worried about. The only thing that would change is the fact that I'd be happy with my appearance.
I've always been very sensitive about comments on my nose. She's called it "big" and "huge" on more than one occasion.. Even after I told her that it bothers me.
I don't know if she's serious about breaking up with me or not.. I want every part of my future with this woman. I plan on getting rhinoplasty and have been researching plastic surgeons.
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SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Single Cat Lonliness Questions
POST: Hi, in this coming fall I'm finally moving into a pet friendly apartment complex and I plan to adopt a fluffy purring companion, but I have a few questions. Due to budget, I can't really afford a pair of kittens, and I will have several hours out of the apartment daily, usually between 9am and 1pm. I understand my cat would quickly become lonely, and I was wondering if anyone knew of methods to help minimize the psychological impact of my absence?
Are the automated programmable toys worth it in your opinion? A tall cat tree will be provided and a window perch for outside viewing. I have also read suggestions to leave on radio talk shows or pet CD's or possibly even the TV while away from your cat. Also I will leave boxes and bags to explore but if anyone knows any personally effective measures I'm all ears.
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SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: BFF [F/18] giving weird signals to me [M/19] Don't know what to do
POST: I know I [M/19] posted here a few days ago about hurting my best friend [F/18] by saying something stupid and didn't mean. [Link to post] and its a little soon to post again. But things are a little confusing, well even more, and would like some input.
After the post toward the end of the day she sent me a snap and we talked for awhile and things seemed fine, but the next day she acted strange and distance. The following day seemed fine talked for an hour, but again at the end of the day started being distant and weird again.Today when I messaged her we talked kinda. We got 7 texts in and she started yelling at me and telling me to go and leave her alone.
I didn't do anything to make her angry while we were talking that I know of just being friendly and talked like we use to. She's definitely still upset with me and I was gonna give her space but she came to me to talk. If she wasn't ready to talk to me then why message me? She goes back and forth between hating me and things getting better.
I do try and talk it out but after talking about it for a little and making some sort of progress she just's ignores me for the rest of the day every time, then the cyclical of what I wrote happens again.
What I would like to know and asking is what does she want from me? One minute I think she's starting to forgive me then the next she tells me to leave. This is very confusing and misleading
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [27/M] wants me [20/F] to sleep with another man in front of him
POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 16 months and we have a great relationship. We explore a lot of different things when we have sex like roleplay etc but the other night he asked me to tell him about a time I had sex with another guy in detail. He said it turns him on. I did it but then he asked me to actually have sex with another man in front of him. I don't mind exploring this as a fantasy but I'm unsure if this would be damaging to our relationship if we actually did it. He also wants me to have sex with someone when he's not here and then tell me about it and send him pictures while we are doing it. He knows I don't want him to have sex with other girls and he's fine with that. Just before we made it official that we were together I had sex with another guy while we were sleeping with each other (just not officially together) and he was very angry about it at the time but then he told me a few days ago that it turned him on and he wanted me to explain it in detail even though it happened over a year ago.
I am enjoying this as a fantasy while we have sex and just talking about it but he has been cheated on by nearly all his ex girlfriends so I'm wondering if this is something to do with it and why he wants me to do it. I don't want to damage our relationship. He insists it won't but I can't believe it because of his past relationships.
Also I know this is a fetish called cuckold.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Help with my (31f) possible alcoholic boyfriend (30m)
POST: In a serious relationship for over 3 years, marriage has been discussed and we talk about the future all the time. It wasn't until a year in that I noticed how much he drinks. It was > 5 beers a night. If he would go out without me, inevitably it would be to go on a bender and who knows when he would get home or if I would hear back. I talked with him several times, in a variety of ways, and he cut back drinking significantly. However the binges still occur and the fighting gets vicious. He blacks out but I remember all of it. I was very supportive of this problem etc, until he finished the last of his schooling and went out of control and really started blaming me for it. He is incapable of going out with friends and controlling himself, and will drive drunk. I've pulled keys out of his hands before.
I guess what I'm asking is when do you know it's time to leave? I'm having a hard time with it, because I see how life could be. Then he doesn't answer the phone disappears and blames me for making him miserable while slurring on the phone. I can answer questions if it isn't clear. I just really could use some feedback. He knows drinking is issue.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [20/m] Looking for advice with [20/f] I'm confused
POST: Hello peoples I've been lurking around on this subreddit looking for advice that would pertain to me but I can't find one that's exactly similar to my situation
Background, I've went out with this girl before on a few dates a few years ago and we both seemed interested but I never found the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend.
My situation is that I've been stuck on this girl for so long and I'm not too sure what to do or even what I want anymore. A few months ago I was okay with trying to forget about her and trying to get her out of my mind by working and school. I went to block her updates on facebook and other social networks to try to forget her.
Later on in the year she starts texting me randomly and we start to chat and even went out for a "date". The reason I say "date" is that I'm not sure what it was exactly, we're friends from way back and haven't seen each other in a few months so either she wanted to catch up or she wanted to reignite something that we had from before. Everything was amazing on the date and we even promised to meet up again in the future but I was busy with school and she was too so our chats started to dwindle and then disappear completely. At this stage I've decided to once again get her out of my mind so I go to school meet some new people and basically distracted myself from her and it was working. I don't even know if she has a boyfriend or moved on. With no communication for about 3 months now I don't know why but I suddenly was reminded of her and now she's stuck in my mind.
Should I try to communicate with her again? If so how do I go about doing it through a text?
If I shouldn't what advice can you guys give me to try and get over her, I've tried to meet new people but I always seem to go after people who aren't single.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband [33] is lying to me [33] about the most benign (even positive) "recreational" activity, and I don't know whether to confront him or ignore the whole thing.
POST: In a nutshell, he is enrolled in and attending graduate-level classes at an Ivy League university in our area.
I work very long hours as an attorney, generally 9am-8pm. Sometimes six days a week. He works 16-hour shifts two days a week, and works from home on another project. Long before we met, he dropped out of a prestigious doctoral program because of personal problems, and this has haunted him.
I was reorganizing a stack of paper we keep under the table, looking for tax info, and I found university course syllabuses (syllabi?). Sure enough, he is enrolled in four classes as a visiting/non-matriculating doctoral student.
This explains a lot, because we generally text and email a lot through my long workdays. There are huge gaps of time where he "falls silent" though, and I assumed the worst...he was out with someone, dealing with depression, or deliberately ignoring me.
Now, we have talked a lot about the relative differences in our education, and how the school he wants to attend is SO prohibitively expensive it is against our best interests right now. I know he is paying a pretty penny for these four classes. Probably by taking on debt I will have to eventually pay.
Do I confront him? Come home during the day while he is in class? Go to the campus and confront him there? Write to him? Ignore the whole thing like it never happened? Why would he lie about this anyway?
This is so perplexing.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] have been seeing a [31F] and we haven't slept together yet (5 weeks).
POST: I really really like this girl. I could go on and on about how incredible she is but basically I have very high standards and she has every attribute I need/want with a big scoop of ice cream on top of each one. I am confident I can satisfy all of her needs, (she's picky too) but with less ice cream.
She says it's usually a couple of months before she sleeps with a guy, and she can count the number of guys she's slept with on one hand. I don't mind waiting, in fact I prefer to, but I don't really know what to do. I am a very sexually confident man but she doesn't seem to have too much trouble resisting when I'm trying (and succeeding) to turn her on. It's weird to me, and it kind of gets me nervous.
Should I keep trying to turn her on? Do you think she's waiting for me to set aside a whole day to be romantic and build a shitton of tension? IF I do that, and she's still not ready, then I've wasted the opportunity; I have one shot at our FIRST super-romantic-tension-filled experience, and we both miss out on a lot if it isn't sexual.
I can give you more details to the nature of our quazi-sexual experiences if you believe it will help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: SO[20/f] is off to america for a year and says "she doesn't trust herself" and I[20/m] need a bit of help.
POST: well i have been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years and it has been one of the happiest and most rewarding relationships of my adult life. we lived together for two years but decided to study at different universities while maintaing a long distance relationship.
now for the ~~fun~~ bit, just before last Christmas she started to act very distant and almost cold in a way that i have never seen before. it was christmas eve when we were lying in bed and her phone rings, jokingly i answer it assuming its somebody sending a christmas text or something. it wasn't, it was a guy, who was talking about how nice her legs had looked the other night. so my guts dropped with a thud so loud it could be heard in china.
now it turns out that while away at university, she had decided that she would dump me and then go spend christmas with this guy. **but** she had chickened out at the last minute. so although nothing *actually* happened, there was a lot of trust lost and its taken months to get back to normal.
however she is leaving for 8 months to study abroad in the USA and I've started to get that same cold distance i experienced before. so when i asked her about it she replied that "she couldn't trust herself not to make the same mistakes again.". Although she admits that last year she would've said that there was no chance she'd ever stray, she did.
even now she says that she loves me and doesn't want to leave me **but** she also says that she can't make the same promise again if its just going to end up getting me hurt.
Not really sure what I'm looking for here I'm just really struggling and hoped somebody might be able to help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my EX [27 F] 14 months, broken up for ~4 months and trying to be friends
POST: So my ex and I have been broken up for almost 4 months now and I've been working on getting over her. We were friends before we dated and want to try to remain friends now that our relationship is over, but that is easier said than done. We're both runners, so we've gone on a few runs together and chatted a bit, but the contact has been spotty and not quite like it once was, which was actually making it easier for me to get over her.
We have a lot of mutual friends, and two of them were getting married this Saturday and we were both invited to the wedding. The week before she asked me to get dinner with her since we hadn't seen each other in a while, and we got caught up and had a good time. She got a bit choked up when talking about her X-mas gift she got me (baseball tickets) which I thought was odd, but overall it was a nice time and she suggested that a few of us have a "drunk brunch" before the ceremony on Saturday since it was a dry wedding.
Saturday rolls around and we drink and have a great time at the wedding. Things seem just like old times. We're joking with each other and giving each other crap about things we always would've (plucking my eyebrows, her stealing my chex mix, etc). It was simply a really nice time.
The problem is that I can't stop thinking about it now. It reminded me of how great we were together when things were going well and I can't help but wonder whether or not we deserve another shot. I felt like I was moving on, but this is a huge setback. I don't even know if she feels the same way. Was she just trying to be my friend? Does she feel the same way about all this? Would she even be open to giving it another shot? Should I just drop it altogether and keep trying to move on?
I'm more than happy to provide details, but wanted to keep the original post somewhat short.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/m] Wondering if I'm her [20/f] rebound guy or if I'm just over thinking and jumping to conclusions.
POST: So I met this girl about two weeks ago online and we've been on a couple dates and they've gone really well. The second date ended with a kiss, even though it was a bit awkward seeing as I messed it up because I was nervous. I texted her later on saying I had a great time and wanted to see her again and that I was nervous earlier and was sorry about the awkwardness. She told me not to apologize, that she had a great time too. Fast forward a few days later to today and we just set up our third date. The reason I am concerned about being a rebound is for several reasons. She added me on facebook and after looking through her profile I saw that she became facebook official with someone as of November of last year, which made me think that it couldn't have possibly ended that long ago if it began in November. Also, her ex that she was facebook official with in November is in her cover picture (even though he is standing among her and several other friends). She's seemed eager to set up each subsequent date so far (even the first initial meet up), but this may just be something I'm not used to since I haven't had much success in the dating realm.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my [25M] two years-almost dead bedroom.
POST: We have a great life together otherwise. We own a house together- He loves my son and my son loves him. Most of all- He's very sweet and takes great care of me.
About a year ago I got two hits on my internet account for downloading porn. He had been downloading it and forgot that they keep track of that stuff. Three strikes- you're out forever. I freaked out bc we hadn't been having sex and now I knew why... And my internet was about to be shut off.
We're both attractive. Both fit. Both funny. I am very attracted to him and come onto him all the time.
He said he would stop watching porn. He did and nothing changed. It's been a year and we're in counseling. Still no change. What do I do?
He still masturbates. But, so do I. I'm worried that's becoming an issue? We've only had sex four times this past month. Should I be content with this? I mean- manage my expectations a bit more?
I love him. Not leaving. Looking for ACTUAL advice.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Visual artists: How did you get your mojo back?
POST: I used to carry a sketchbook with me everywhere. I got so much out of drawing and painting; I loved to make comics and come up with crazy character designs.
I got very depressed after graduating college and feeling like I didn't learn anything about art and craftsmanship there. That was over five years ago. Every few months, I break out a sketchbook and try to draw, but it's almost physically painful. I get anxious as soon as I put pencil to paper and all sorts of doubts fly into my head. "Why am I even doing this?" "What is the point?" "What should I even draw?" "There are so many other more important things I should be doing right now." "Not only have I failed to improve in the past five years, I'm actively worse than I was when I finished school." "Everything I draw looks exactly the same."
Intellectually I *know* that these doubts and anxieties are bullshit, but they're so stressful that I'm too intimidated to open the sketchbook again for days or weeks at a time.
Have any of you gone through something like this? Can you help me get over the biggest case of artist's block I've ever experienced? I want to enjoy art again, not fear and avoid it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 M] am wondering when to do the talk with her [22 F].
POST: I met this girl over Tinder about one month ago. Over the first week and a half we went on four dates. We had sex on the third date, and I spend the night at hers on the fourth. Our dates have been fairly long, the first 3 or 4 hours, the later ones 9 - 10 hours. We have not been doing anything special apart from enjoying each others company.
After this point, sadly, she had to go away. First one week to a festival, and then straight from there a week and a half on vacation with family. I visited her one day on the festival (or I visited her amongst others) and I spend the night there with her (no sex). While she has been on vacation we have been talking daily (aside from the first few days she was there) via social medias.
Now, she is coming home, and I'm seeing her the day she lands. As you might have guessed from the context I really like her, and I want this to go somewhere. I want it to be exclusive. Normally a month in I would be fine to talk to her about it, but since I haven't really seen her much over the last few weeks I am wondering if it should be delayed.
I guess my question is whether I should aim to talk to her about it soon, or whether I should give it a few weeks to sort of get back into things with her.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Don't want to leave but it hurts to stay
POST: I am 22 and I've been seeing my boyfriend (25) for around 3 years. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to add the usual discaimer here! My boyfriend is just a lovely guy and I enjoy every minute we spend together. It's almost embarassing how I turn into a character from a 'Romeo and Juliet' adaptation whenever I'm around that guy!
However, there is an issue which I don't think he takes that seriously but I can't seem to get over. After dating for 2 years, he cheated on me with another girl (a mutual friend) when we were all living together (but not) at college. Obviously, this was 'not cool', and I left him after I found out. This was an extremely painful time for me, especially as it was the first serious relationship I was involved in. Also, because of the difficult living arrangents, I never really told anyone else what happened. It seemed easier to just cleanly break it off and avoid becoming the focus of gossip.
However, things do change. I met new people, did well in my studies, travelled Europe and all that stuff. So when, a few months later, he gets back into contact with me, I let him close enough to apologise. One thing led to another and we started dating again.
Overall I think it was the right choice, I know people make mistakes and since then I think that the dynamic between us is improved now. I'm not so clingy and he's been more willing to show me a bit of attention. I knew it would take some time to heal from this, if ever, but when I took him back I knew I would have to forgive him if it was going to work out...
Yet, it's been over a year since and I still find that this is a source of stress for me. I hate being suspicious and want him to have fun and be social, but a part of me cringes every time I see him with a female friend (ok, any female!). It's getting to the point where I don't know if I'll ever 'get over' this and I feel guilty because it seems like I've wasted our time even trying.
Ah sorry, was trying to keep this short. Basically
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] am finding traditional relationships hard to stomach
POST: I have been in a 4 year cohabiting relationship with my boyfriend [24/M]. I pegged our relationship as a 'short term' thing when we started going out, but I subsequently fell very much in love with him. That feeling has faded a little, but we remain very compatible.
The problem is that I feel stifled by domesticity and monogamy. I do not want marriage or children. However I do still want a life-companion who I am close to intellectually and emotionally - and he is very much it.
I don't think I can continue to be in the type of relationship that I'm in now, and I fear we will break up.
Subject of course to his agreeing to new terms, is it possible to strike a compromise - and how?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I [19/M] need closure from my previous relationship from one year ago in order to move on completely?
POST: This girl and I dated back in high school and were together for almost 2 years when she had broken things off during my senior year. Things were kind of rocky at that time, but I wanted to make things work.
Long story short is that she had broken up with me over the phone, but never contacted each other or talked about what caused things to end in person.
Its been over a year since then, but I have had hook-ups, traveled to another country, and even tried dating again to get over this person. However, she still hangs out in the back of my mind.
Do I contact her and talk in person in order to close this door or just keep making attempts to move on?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/m] cannot get over an ex girlfriend [18/f] I dated two years ago
POST: Forgive me if the formatting is bad. I'm on mobile.
So I dated this girl in high school, let's call her Erin. Erin was great. She was my first love. Everything I could ask for in a relationship for the most part. We got along really well, she cared a lot about me and I cared a lot about her. Basically it was a great relationship except for the fact that we both had depression and she had a couple weird quirk that bothered me. Really though, it was basically the fact that we both had depression that we weren't properly managing that made it unhealthy in the end. In the end though we really were trying to work on getting better and I wanted to help and her and she the same.
Anyways when we broke up it was really sudden. One of her quirks is that she has this fascination with death and cemeteries that personally I wasn't a part of. We were trying to figure out what to do before we went to the school play and she suggested that we go to a cemetery. I was not a fan of the idea and we argued and I dumped her in the heat of the moment. In hindsight I feel awful about it because I still do care for her and I loved her. It seems cheesy or immature but I honestly haven't felt the way I do for her with anybody else and in the interim since dating her I haven't felt that way with other girls that I've dated. When we broke up we completely cut contact and sometimes I wish I could make it up to her how much I hurt her but I know that will never happen. And now that my personal life is under control I wish I could still be with her sometimes.
I know I was a jerk for breaking up with her the way I did, but is it wrong that I want to fix things and try and have a healthy relationship? And is it weird that I'm still not over her and that i still think of her when I hear certain songs or watch certain shows etc?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 F] slept with my co-worker [24 M] who has a serious girlfriend. Telling her would ruin my life but the guilt is killing me. How do I move on from this?
POST: I don't want to quit my job but seeing him at work every day and pretending like everything is fine is really starting to take a toll on me. I feel sick getting on Facebook because he is frequently tagged in pictures and statuses by her, most of which are about how much she loves him. So she has absolutely NO idea. They have been together for 4 years and even live together. My coworker is really attractive and has hit on me since the day I was hired but I always ignored it. He never even mentioned that he had a girlfriend; I only know because of Facebook.
One night after months of him flirting/hitting on me, he and a bunch of our other co-workers went out for drinks. He and I got pretty wasted and he kissed me. Long story short, I ended up back at his place. We hooked up several more times on different occasions but it just got to be too much. I try my best to ignore him at work but seeing him daily is just a reminder of what we did. I'm going crazy because I want to tell someone but I know that the end result would be disastrous. What the fuck do I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: First solid experi[m]ent with chatroulete
POST: Wondered on, firstly tried the adult section. Lots of men, spanking the monkey, in fact after 30 mins, i decided to stop having not seen a girl. Or wanting to talk to throbbing members.
Went to normal mode vid chat. Found it very hard to talk to people and got the dreaded next alot. Mic was working yet many people were not responding to both a audiable hello or a text Hi.
The few I got to talk to briefly:
A young kid, shared a few words, then said goodbye. It just feels werid talking to young kids online.
Interactions with some kids playing pranks. I smiled but quickly disconnected as he pulled what i thought was something out of his pants. When it was a toy.
Groups of young teens. They wanted to talk or at least mock my asian appearance, not bad but chickened out.
Finally after 1.5 hours of searching or rather being nexted i found a girl?. Strange conv. she said she was pooping, and made me laugh. The chat didn't progress and i was nexted.
Another girl, bored like me. Sitting in a small room. We chatted alot, about bland stuff, likes and dislikes, the weather. Nothing deep. We exchanged skype to have a further voice chat due to chatroulte bad lag. Talked for further 20mins. Found it much harder to talk. Though I am quite quiet. She said am I boring you alot.
**Conclusions:** Was I nexted because I was asian? Who knows but did the fact I was asian help me talk to those 2 girls, also asian. I assume so. Other women and men mostly nexted me. However it seems younger/ kids are likely to stay for longer.
I would say I am average looking, slim build. For further times, will need more intersting props and planned conversations/games.
The experience has made me see it not as a scary place as it once was afraid of scammers/blackmailers, still it feels like grinding to met people.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my(M|24) mom (F|49) have an opinion about my wife's (F|22) grad school? Together 6 years
POST: Recently my wife and my mom and trying to fix a lot of issues they are having.
One of the issues that came up is my mom doesn't want my wife to go into more debt (we both have an undergrad degree) from her going to grad school. We are currently in about 40K in debt between both our degrees. She feels we should knock that number down a little before she starts grad school.
My wife expressed the opinion that my mom should not have a say in this. I would normally agree but my parents supported BOTH of us with a place to live, food, car while we finished our undergrad full time (18+ credits semesters).
We both disagree with my mom, but my wife feels my mom doesn't even have the right to say her opinion. I feel like she can say what she wants, we just need to do whats best for us. My wife is mad that I am giving her power to even have an opinion.
What does reddit think?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband [32] got angry after I [32] said everyone told me the movie we just went to see was great. He asked who was everyone (my brother and another mom I know) and then said that I was too social and it made him feel uncomfortable and unhappy.
POST: We've been married 14 years and for a long time all we could manage to do was care for our kids and stay afloat. Now things are better, the kids aren't babies and I feel like a person again, but my husband, well... He doesn't seem to like it. He doesn't like me having friends that aren't also his friends. If I invite him to come along and meet them he says it would be imbalanced because I got to know them first. He wants us to develop couple friendships at the same pace at the same time and only those. He's introverted and very rarely makes friendships of his own. I try inviting him to meet people with me. He hates it. I try letting him know he's wanted, but it's fine for him to not interact with my friends. He hates that I have friends. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or unhappy, but I don't think what he "needs" from me is healthy for either of us. What do I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, has anyone been to a psychic/medium as a skeptic and come away as a believer?
POST: A friend of mine went to a well known local medium last week for a private reading, just because all of her friends were she decided to join in. She is a logical, intelligent and scientific person with no belief in an afterlife. The reading was a walk-in session, no pre booking was required so no research could have been done on this person prior to the reading.
When she sat down, the medium immediately told her about a tragic event that resulted in the death of a very close family member a few years ago. She was quite specific with the event, the circumstances surrounding it, the description of the person that died, and the relationship that person had with my friend. My friend said that she wasn't prompted for details and that no confirmation of fact was requested.
She then gave my friend messages from the deceased person, again rich with things that were detailed and very specific, with no way the medium could have known/guessed.
The whole scenario has left my friend questioning her lack of belief completely. Again, this person is very logical and hasn't believed in an afterlife or anything for many years. I myself am atheist and have been for some time, but when told the high level of detail that was given to her, I'm even starting to question it all myself!
I know that many 'psychics' out there prey on vulnerable people and are manipulators that can very easily make a person think that they are communicating with passed loved ones. But my friend wouldn't easily be duped. She works in a profession that has left her able to spot these kind of techniques very easily and she was adamant that nothing like this was involved.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my Professor [70s M] thinks I cheated on my exam. I didn't
POST: Hi Reddit!
So I am in a bit of a sticky situation and have no idea what to do. Just as the title says, my professor emailed me over the weekend regarding an exam I did abysmally badly on. He asked me how I got the answer to one question and not another on the same concept and said that we must have a meeting with the head of the program after class. He did not accuse of me of anything, but the implication is pretty obvious. Thing is I did not cheat.
I have a learning disability that causes me to sometimes skip words when I read. This inconsistency is actually how my high school teachers discovered the learning disability. I am actually even a little angry because my professor is aware that I have an LD and seems to be out for blood. He said in his email that it was weird that I could not explain to the TA what went wrong. I wasn't going to tell the TA I had learning problems especially with reading. Anyway, what do I do? Should I try to get in touch with the woman who evaluated me for my reading issues to send yet another letter? My inclination is, if he really pushes this, to go over his head.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: We need help!
POST: Hi everyone,
I just found this sub and I believe you guys might be able to help me.
Me and my malamute, Rover, just recently moved from Mexico to a small town in Massachusetts.
For a while everything was fine but recently Rover's behaviour has taken a turn for the worse as he has started to become aggressive towards me. He has bitten me twice already and yesterday he tried to again; there was no provocation from my part (I was only reaching for something that happened to be above where he was lying around.
I believe this might be linked to his new mania of chewing his tail. He has ripped off almost all the hair from most of his tail.
I took him to a vet but they didn't really know what was going on. They gave us antibiotics and steroids for the itch, but he has continued to lick and/or bite his tail, even with a cone of shame on.
He goes out for walks at least twice a day but I'm gone pretty much all day and he stays alone. The funny thing is that the chewing occurs mostly when I'm home (one of the bites was as a result of me trying to make him stop).
What can I do? Thank you in advance for your advice.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] kissed her [21 F] at a wedding! Now what?
POST: I've known this girl since we were both freshman in school, and with both finished this year. During college, she dated a guy the almost all 4 years. During the long relationship, she and I would meet up for coffee or just have long conversations. After she graduates, the girl breaks up with the guy! She contacts me and asks if I wanted to come to a wedding as her plus 1. Luckily, I was already invited, so I told her I'd meet her there and she should save a dance for me.
Fast forward to the reception... First slow song of the night comes on after the bride and groom dance. We immediately start looking for each other. We get to the dance floor, start slow dancing, and both of us have these booming smiles on our faces. We were both enjoying the moment. We kissed, we danced more, we kissed again. It seemed like there were about 9 or 10 moments during the night were things were a little romantic and we kissed.
We ended up going out to bars after a little bit of convincing on my end because she was ready to go home with some other friends. Before she left, she said that she would want to come visit me (there is about 600 miles between us) and hang out for a couple of days. She also said she enjoyed the night and the fun we had. She said she would love to have a night like that again, but I can't be all crazy and be at her feet.
Waited about 2 days today to text her and see if we would figure out a couple of days to have her visit. She still hasn't responded. I've always thought about potentially dating this girl, but other relationships she gets in to cause us to never date at all. Should I just leave it with one night of having fun or should I try to pursue this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [20F] quit feeling like I need to compete with other women?
POST: I feel like I need to compete with other women, especially in terms of physical attractiveness. I have an SO who tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl that he's ever seen, but I look at the rest of the society and the majority seem to favor athletic, skinny, big breasted women with pretty features and I'm none of that. I'm not even talking about celebrities here. I have small boobs, a small belly that makes me look pregnant, my skin is deeply scarred from acne, I can't wear certain clothes, etc.
I feel so much pressure from the world.
And yes, **I am in therapy** and have been for four years.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are the helps that you stolefrom society, and what did you do to payback?
POST: I went to the gym, as I was walkin out, it had started to rain pretty hard. I live quite far from the gym, and I had forgotten my umbrella, so I was gonna get totally wet. There was a bunch of umbrellas, left unguarded by other customers, and I thought "probably the 80% of the people here has his home quite near, so they won't get really wet, if I take their umbrella. Then, I will put it back here next time, as someone might need it, and steal it as I did"
I stole one, didn't get wet.
It's just mathematics: I did a bad thing to a person (-1), but I did a good thing to myself (+0.5) and almost* another person (+0.5). In the worst scenario, the sum is 0. If the second guy, uses it to help someone as I did, we're 0.5 over, and so on.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I continue to pursue her?
POST: I asked a girl out at work around 4 weeks ago (I'd had feelings for her for some months) and we arranged a date 2 weeks ago. I came on quite strong and she seemed to like it, and following our date we saw each other 5 times in the space of a week (3 of these being dates).
We've been texting very regularly as well over that period (several thousand texts over the 3 weeks).
A week ago I got quite drunk and said some stupid things by text (mainly just being needy... not ideal I know).
On Sunday she said she wasn't used to someone coming on this strong and didn't think she was right for me since I seem like I need someone who's there 24/7 and she had children to think about. I accepted this (I'm actually quite independent when I know I've got a girlfriend) and asked if she was saying we were just going to be friends and she said she couldn't see into the future.
At that point I said that I'd give her some space this week - and then I might ask her out again or I might just leave her to decide what she wants and she said OK.
This week we've texted a lot less, but she has still been texting me quite a lot. I've purposely not initiated conversations and waited for her to text me. I've also completely laid off any type of serious conversation and just had fun.
I now don't know if I should just leave it completely and see if she says anything, or if I should ask her out again (or just let her know I'd like to ask her out but I don't want to put pressure on her).
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What was your first internet spoiler? I'll start.
POST: I was in middle school/high school I'm the mid-to-late 90's when the internet first started taking off. I was in 9th grade homeroom at the beginning of the day, and there was a computer with internet. I had almost no experience on the web at this point and thought I'd poke around. I looked up one of my favorite shows at the time, Babylon 5, and noticed that people were chatting about a recent episode that I had missed. And then I saw it: Commander Jeffrey Sinclair was in fact the Minbari religious icon Valen. I spent the rest of that day in a daze.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend/neighbor/crush just texted me and told me her and her bf broke up, what should I do?!
POST: Hey! So a little background info, a few months back me(19) and my previous gf broke up, and I decided that I needed help getting over it and saw a therapist and now a lot has changed for me and I'm glad to be a happier better person for it.
However,two weeks ago, by chance I was able to get to know my neighbor(19) better (I live on campus) and we have been hanging out and we get along pretty well. Just about half an hour ago she sent me a text telling me that her bf broke up with her. I have recently found myself attracted to this woman, but I decided to leave it be and settle to be just her friend, but this new event makes me wonder if I should try asking her out?
Right now I convinced her to go on Skyrim and start killing everything to her hearts content to make her feel better, so I ask r/relationships, whats my next move?
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SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Chronic pain in the Achilles tendon
POST: I had a little soreness in my Achilles tendon about 6 month ago, it never really disappeared, but was so minimal that I didn't stop running. (I ran nearly every day betwenn 1 - 2 h).
Since April I moved to Freiburg in Germany. It's a mountainous area and I started running more uphill the pain in my tender increased a little bit, but I still felt it was not really a problem and I didn't want to reduce my training.
Then in may I ran a half-marathon (21 k). I gave my best and finished 3rd in my age grup in 81 minutes. I already felt during the race that I had stressed my tendon to hard this time.
The next day, I could barely walk, but this extreme pain went away fast. During the last seven weeks I only did cycling and some easy walking but a certain level of pain remains and it's just not getting better, not a bit.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My car has been in the shop since October 19th, what can I do about it?
POST: A little over a month ago I was involved in a minor car accident. The driver going down the road I was leaving was going 20-25 over the speed limit on the narrow mountain road I live on and was in my lane when I came around the curve. I had to swerve into the ditch and my tire blew out and the airbags deployed. I checked it out and it didn't seem too bad, but the rim was beat to shit so I called AAA. Fast forward to the next Monday, I got a call from the Honda dealership that had my car, it's a Honda Element saying that the suspension broke and they had to send it to the chevy place in town. I called them and they explained what was wrong a little more and told me it should be two to three weeks and they'd have it finished. I called a couple of weeks later and they said they were just waiting for one more part, to call back in a few days. That was over three weeks ago now, and it's been the same thing 2-3 times a week, "check back on tuesday" so I call on tuesday, "check back with us on thursday" which redirects right back to tuesday. Since last Monday they've told me it would be ready to go Thursday, then Friday, then definitely Monday (today) so I called today and surprise, check back again Tuesday. I'm just a 20 something living on my own, so I don't really know what I can do in this situation. A couple of people have told me to try and take legal action, while pretty much everyone else is saying to refuse to pay them.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [23 F] 5 Months, she gets worried that she can't trust me and it makes me question everything.
POST: To start out we have known each other for almost a year before we got serious. In that period of time we became very close so I would tell her everything... EVERYTHING about other girls and such(which I try to tell her she if different from, which she is.). This relationship is also long distance.
So things are great, but every few weeks she will just get upset from nowhere and worry that she can't trust me or that I talk to other girls. This really hurts me because it just makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong, but also that maybe she has something to hide (albeit I know all of her secrets).
For example yesterday we were talking and she just got upset and we didn't really have time to have a complete discussion because she was going to a public viewing for the world cup. Germany won and I was excited for us and wrote her a bit during the game and after, however she didn't reply until 9am this morning to tell me that "ah it was a crazy night." "I drink a bit much." (we just wrote and she said she was out until 3/4am and didn't write because there were people everywhere)
As a side note she is always telling me about guys trying to flirt with her, or that she has to be careful what she wears so that she doesn't make guys crazy. I try to just play it off like I don't care, but it makes me really jealous and protective which I don't want to be.
Maybe I'm just being a bit ridiculous about this and need to calm down, but I feel a bit hurt that she wouldn't want to write me to share the excitement of the win (which I would definitely have done). I mean it just makes me question everything and I hate it. But I really love her and feeling like shit right now really sucks.
I guess to summarize if the same situation was reversed she would be absolutely losing her mind that I would have done something that I couldn't undo.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm a college graduate who needs to find affordable health insurance. Can you help?
POST: Just wanna start off by saying this isn't a sob story, I'm just trying to find out the best way to buy my own healthcare.
I graduated from college in May of 2010, at which point I was kicked off my parent's TriCare plan, since that was contingent on my status as a student. I worked part-time at a Holiday Inn for a bit over the summer, but managed to land a legit year-long internship in December. It pays pretty well, I work 40+ hours a week, and I make enough to cover my rent, student loan payments, and set a bit aside. However, there are no benefits.
For the most part I'm a pretty healthy person, the only time I've had to go to the hospital in the last few years was for a pocket-knife injury, but after a bad case of bronchitis last month I think it's about time I man up and just buy a plan already.
I have no idea where to start (beyond Google), and I'd really rather not get advice from some company's 1-800-INSURANCE line just so they can tell me why their plan is the best and try and hustle me into whatever plan lines their pockets the best.
If anyone has gone through this process recently, or has some advice it would be greatly appreciated, and I'm sure others on Reddit could find it useful as well.
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Anybody with knowledge of the Dutch law around ? car accident questions.
POST: I had a car accident on friday, other party involved was speeding and hit me. but because he denies it it seems like I was wrong because he was supposed to go first under normal circumstances. ( give way road markings )
but because it was clear when I checked it I drove on, and when I was almost past the intersection he slammed me in the side near the back seat. and caused me to slide across the road for 2-3 meters hit a street light and then bounce back a meter. both doors completely jammed so i had to climb out the window...
can I somehow get an investigation going about this to see how fast he had to be driving to get this much force in the collision?
because the damage on my car would suggest that he was driving way faster than the legal limit there. ( which is 50 km/h )
also another reason why i think he was going way faster than admitted is because he could never have reached the intersection from such a distance as where i could not even see him yet
(pictures of the damage: ) as you can see with the damage, I am lucky to be alive and unharmed right now... 1ft further forward and it could have been my end...
help would be appeciated on this :)
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] am a college student who's having issues with money, school, and parents.
POST: I am a third year college student, who lives off campus and for the past 2 years the way it has worked is that my parents have payed the rent and I take care of the utilities and spending money. That changed this year when they required half of the rent from me (so I learned more "responsibility"), and I agreed.
Turns out that the amount of money I have to make per month leaves me with little to none extra money, at least with the job I currently have (I work with my father).
Because of this, I spoke with my dad and his response was basically "work more". I explained to him that I was working as much as possible whilst also keeping up with my schoolwork. I spoke to my mom, and that conversation ended in her calling me a bum and a "parasite" and that she refuses to have me live off of them, so I need to man up and figure it out.
My frustrations lie in that thankfully my parents can afford to help me out more, and while they are not obligated to do anything, nor should I expect them to, a little more help from them would help me sleep better at night. I tried to explain this to them and again, the conversation ended with them saying I need to grow up and work more.
What should I do in this situation? I am tempted to look for another job that would perhaps pay more but I feel as though I would be betraying my dad. I work for him both for money and to help him out, but unfortunately he doesn't always pay me as much as he does his "real" employees. Should I ask my dad to pay me more fairly? Or are they right?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Hey guys, me (25m) and my girlfriend (30f) have been together for 2 years, 1 and a 1/2 of which have been long distance. I need advice on my doubts:
POST: I've had doubts during our time apart but have rationalised these as typical feelings for a long term relationship. This is my first future prospects relationship and I chalked this down to the ebbs and flows that come with that. Firstly is this normal?
Secondly, she's found out recently that her sister is unable to have children and will be getting a test soon to see if the same is true for her. If it is she might have a chance if she tries sooner as her sister is a little older than her. We discussed the prospects of children before entering the distance and we agreed not for another 5 years.
I don't know if I'm ready to have kids so soon, am I stringing her along by waiting till we are back together in a geographical sense to see if my doubts dissipate?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I feel like I (M17) bitch at my girlfriend (F18) way too much.
POST: I started dating this girl about 4 months ago, right before school ended and everything was great. Then school started and then her personality took a complete 180. I don't have any classes with her this semester, so I see her in the hallway between some classes and I walk her to one of them. She used to be super perky and happy and now she acts like she hates me when she sees me. I sit outside of some of her classes and talk to her about things before class, and I try and just play with her hands and be all flirty but she literally will hold her hands so I can't do it. It's embarrassing because she makes me look like an idiot, I feel like some loser around her. She jokes and laughs with her friends, and then I'll walk up and she'll ignore me and just keep talking to her friends. It's insane. No hello, no nothing. Her friends and I talk more then me and her do. I'll hold my hand out or put my arm up as a gesture for her to come walk by me or hold my hand, but she'll just deny it and keep walking. It's a joke with my friends how my girlfriend hates me. The only reason I haven't broken up with her yet, is the fact that she acts pretty normal and tells me how she likes me and blah blah blah over text and snapchat.
She'll occasionally act like she's actually my girlfriend, but that's only after I complain about how she's not holding my hand or doing any of that mushy dumb stuff. I just find it really stupid how I have to rat her out for her to start acting like she wants to be around me. I've brought it up plenty of times before, and her excuse is "I'm just not like that. I'm not gonna change for anyone." I feel like if I bring it up again it will be just too much. I've talked about it so much and really can't figure out how a sane human can act this way. She's causing me so much stress and I've honestly lost feelings. It pisses me off because I know she's a great girl, and I know how she used to act and I'm just hanging onto that.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] am stuck in the middle of my parents biggest fight.
POST: There's not a lot to say, but I was just coming to this sub to see if anyone had any insight on how I'm supposed to feel or act.
My parents have been happily married for 20 years, but earlier this week my mom kicked my Dad out of the house for practically no reason other than her needing space. I'm extremely close to my parents and have gotten to know their personalities very well, and this came to surprise to me.
My dad, after being out of the house for a few days, came back today and sat my brother and I down to tell him that we may have to be ready to accept divorce, and he doesn't really even know what's going on either. I've been sitting in my room crying ever since because this makes me extremely nervous and scared.
My mom has gotten home from work and has been acting normal, and when asking why I'm crying, I just can't say why because I'm so afraid of blowing up in anger and demanding answers.
Anyone got any thing for me? Maybe a way to approach my parents to find out what's going on?
Thanks in advance.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My bf [24] and I [20] are having some issues in the bedroom, and I'm not sure what I should do to fix it.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating since July or so, and for the duration of our relationship sex has NOT at all been a prominent thing in our relationship. It does bother me from time to time, but for some reason not as much as I figured it would. In the beginning (before we had sex the first time) every time we were together we would always stay up and act sexual to one another. We had sex the first time before I went on a trip for two weeks, and as soon as I got home he left for a trip for two weeks (unfortunate timing, we planned our trips before we met). So, after we were back together sexual activity fizzled out probably rather significantly. And, sometimes when we would try to have sex, he would have trouble even just getting hard. But, there were also times when that was not an issue at all, and it would be normal. At one point, I pointed out to him that I thought we should be having sex more, and we did that night, then just fizzled out again. I'm a full time student who commutes to school (30 minutes away), so I often need to go to bed early, and he insists on staying up. So, sometimes he'll stay up so late that I just can't do anything, because I need sleep in order to focus on my classes in the morning (I have 3 everyday, so it's a big load). So, sex has become somewhat of an ordeal for us, I guess. We are otherwise very happy with one another, and very close. But, I'm really not sure what to do here. Because, I feel like maybe neither of us are putting forth the effort we need to. But, last night, (for one of the first times) my boyfriend instigated sex, and he was hard, but for someone reason I just wasn't wet enough for him to be able to get inside. Then after that he lost his erection, and I still wasn't turned on (i guess). Now that that has happened, the issue has been bothering me even more. Are we just not sexually compatible? What is deal?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (22F) need to break up with clingy long distance "bf" (23M)
POST: I met Ryan, 4 months ago on OKC. It certainly wasn't love at first sight but after 3 months I started falling for him and he eventually told me he loved me. However within two weeks he had to move to take a job in SE Asia for a year.
The night before he left I cried, and even though he claimed that I should just see other people now, he also said he'd be happy to move to wherever I was in a year. During this time in our relationship, he became increasingly affectionate, telling me he loved me everyday, wanting me to come over, etc. At first, I was into it.
But its been a month since he left and I really don't want to hold on anymore. He Gchats me several times a day (with nothing but hearts) tries to push me to Skype MORE than once a day, becomes increasingly sad when I refuse. He also sends me sappy emails and tells me how much he misses me and loves me and pushes me to come visit him either this summer or in the fall.
I'm growing resentful because while I truly did care for him when he was here, he has grown increasingly clingy and obsessed with me to the point where he'll insist to watch me fall asleep on camera! I would like to pursue other romantic interests.
I really want/need to break up with this boy but I don't want to crush him. He is sensitive and while he told me I was the 2nd girl he slept with, i strongly suspect I was the first. I would just like some tips on how to breakup as unfortunately I've been talked out of breakups in the past.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [16/m] My girlfriend [17/f] cheated on me last weekend
POST: So, last night I was on the phone with my girlfriend of 5ish months because she was acting very upset, but wouldn't tell me why. After an hour or so, she finally told me what was wrong. A week earlier, she had gone to hang out with an ex-boyfriend of hers without telling me, and he ended up kissing her and doing other things (not sex, though) without her permission. But she also said she didn't try to stop it. From what she said, it sounds like she had no intentions of doing anything, but when one thing led to another, she didn't stop it. But, she says she feels very bad and regrets it very much. And I believe that she's sorry and regrets it, I really do. I was extremely upset. Her ex-boyfriend is a close friend of mine, and I haven't yelled at a friend like that in awhile. I told him to stay away from her and never talk to her again. And then I talked on the phone with her for another couple hours with her, trying to work things out. I'm not sure how I feel, but she really wants to make things right. She's promised me she'll never do something like it again, and I honestly believe her. I'm in love with this girl (don't try and say it's only teenage love, that's something to me and she matters to me) and I don't want to completely give up on her, but I'm also very hurt. Does Reddit think that we can work things out and have a healthy relationship after this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Reddit, help me not fuck this up. Crosspost from /r/relationships for more eyeballs
POST: I met a really awesome girl this past weekend and I'd like nothing more than to end up dating her long-term. I'm 22 and she is 20. We met through mutual friends and I asked her to accompany me as a as a "date" to a wedding, expecting to be nothing more than friends and didn't take it too seriously. To make a long story short, we had an amazing time together. I ended up sleeping over at her place that night. We fooled around a little but didn't have sex (which I am happy about--a girl that fucks on the first date isn't usually good relationship material and has low self-esteem, in my experience anyway).
I had to leave the following day (this past Sunday) and return home. I live about 2 hours away.
For the most part, I'm a pretty typical guy, but with a weird streak (like everyone here on Reddit). I'd consider myself a bit quirky, but nothing too strange. This girl is a bit more quirky than I--she is the artsy type, and somewhat of a hippie. This is probably the reason I don't quite know what to do. Most girls I've dated have been more average in their personalities than me, which eventually left me bored.
Basically what I'm wondering here is how to play my next move. Should I text her and tell her again what an awesome time I had and that I'd like to see her again? Or should I not contact her until I'm in her town in a week and a half to see our mutual friends? I don't want to scare her away by telling her how much I like her and creep her out, but I also don't want to play it off and make her think I don't like her at all.
So, what would Reddit do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] Over-thinking is a problem. Ladies say that I need to relax.
POST: Okay, so, I have been with a few female friends recently, but I have found that any time we get to the point of making out or so, I get nervous. I think about what I am doing with my body, rather than just letting it happen. I'm sure I can't be the only person who has a problem over-thinking everything...so...anyone got any ideas to help me relax more/not think as much/just let things happen when with the opposite sex.
Some clarification, I am not nervous talking to females. However, I do feel like I am inexperienced, which is where I believe this is stemming from. But it is hard to get experience when I am over-thinking everything.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 23f totally confused with cold feet
POST: Ok so I think I'm going insane. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and were moving in together in a few short months. We are currently (and always have been) in a long distance relationship that is far enough apart to require planes. I knew from the very beginning he was "the one" yadda yadda yadda. After we were dating about three months we got into some serious fights mostly because he was stubborn and upset with his own life. This in turn ended up making me really fucked up and emotionally compromised. Although in a way I'm glad he had the balls to call me out on some things I probably did wrong, in the end I've been more upset about it than pleased. I feel like he changed me in a way I guess. I am definitely a better person now , but I am not sure that is exactly who I want to be. Anyway. I love him very very very much and I like a very exclusive set of boys which are quite hard to come by with all my requirements. I am afraid that this, Including his good looks, and impending plans of moving in together, is what is keeping me bound to him. Am I waiting for a disaster to happen by letting him move in with me now? Or am I just getting normal cold feet for me being an attention-seeking flirty commitophobe ?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] feel irrational jealousy for SO [22M] of a year, hiding it from him
POST: This might seem like a small problem but it's affecting me a lot. Our relationship is great, no major issues. But I get a feeling of dread whenever he talks to female friends or says good things about them, even if it's the same kinds of things that he says about his male friends. I'm not worried he'll cheat on me, but I'm worried he'll develop feelings for one of them.
He's super affectionate with me and we're very passionate together, but I think he's kind of clingy and the type of guy to fall for girls quickly, although it hasn't happened with anyone else since we got together. But because of this I get nervous when he makes friends with someone new even though he's completely open about it. Today he reconnected with an old friend through Skype chat, and I was so worried that I signed into his account and read the conversation (I know this was horrible of me and I should never do it again).
I know I'm in the wrong here. Rationally, I want him to have his own life and I actually think it's good for a guy to have female friends. Up until now I've been holding it in because I realise how irrational my feelings are. I haven't told him because I don't want him to feel weird about hanging out with friends. So how can I stop being so jealous for no reason? Should I tell him that I have this problem, or just deal with it myself?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I messed up (22f/m)
POST: I have major trust issues. My boyfriend in the past has cheated on me so im paranoid. I have developed a bad habit of looking at his fb/private messages. We have had the discussion about not looking into it BC it was his past. I have looked 5 times. Today I looked all the way back a few days before dating BC I was curios I found out he had a fling 3 days for we started dating . I stabbed him in the back do to me bringing it up. I am a terrible person how can I fix this .
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Something smells fishy about this situtation
POST: All,
I am uneasy about a financial situation I have gotten myself in. I am worried that I could be being scammed but I don't see how yet. Can someone please help me and tell me if I am missing anything? I realize at this point is may/may not be too late, I probably should have asked earlier.
Here are the details:
I put an add on craigslist for tutoring, I am not a certified professional and did not claim to be, so I offered some cheap math/science tutoring at a low price since I am an engineering grad student. I get a reply, a lady that lives in D.C. and works for the U.N. wants me to tutor her son while he is vising internationally. OK, fine. So she proposes this arrangement where she sends me some additional money on top of the proposed fee and I am to send this money to her son's caretaker via moneygram when I receive it. All she asked for is my address. I reluctantly provide it. Well today I received a check from "New Venture Fund" for about $3000. I am charging her $200 for 20 hours of tutoring over the next 1 month, none of which I have actually provided yet. I have not received the instructions for forwarding the remainder.
- What should I look out for?
- Did I already get mixed in something sketchy?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think I cheated on the love of my life
POST: Me 18 yr female my boyfriend 19 year old male. So we haven't been together for long, only about 6 months. Now my boyfriend is probably the most amazing sweet guy on the planet, though this can get annoying... He says I love you 5 times a day and constantly calls me beautiful. Sometimes this drives me nuts, I rather he show me that he loves me opposed to just tell me. I love how deep my boyfriend can get but he never does anything, always I have to talk to him first or ask to hang out because he has social anxiety and lots of issues. I'm always there for him but I like a guy who can take control who likes to touch me and hold me tight and my boyfriend isn't that kind of guy, which is alright I guess.
BUT lately this guy I know started talking to me at first it was innocent but then it got more flirty and I was sure he was starting to hit on me. He then said what he wants to do with me how he wants to make-out and feel me up which made me uncomfortable but I went along with it. The problem is I cannot say no to guys. So essentially I was sexting this guy and he wants to meet up to hook up.
He's so much more manly and he always makes the first move which is what I love in comparison to my boyfriend. But I love my boyfriend more than anything I love him so much it hurts thinking about us being apart.. I just don't know what to do with the other guys.. Have I already cheated on my boyfriend? How do you say no to guys?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So me [23] and my ex [25] have been talking recently and I'm not sure what I want to do.
POST: This is my first post here so I'll try to follow the rules as best I can. I am a 23 y/o male and she is 25. We dated for a year and then broke up. Because of the break up, I don't think her family is too fond of me, so that adds a little more to the toughness. It's been about a year since then, but recently we started talking. She basically is saying that she doesn't want to be friends unless we get back together because it's too hard for her. I am just really back and forth here because she is my only relationship I'be ever had so I don't really have much to compare it to. I do really like spending time with her and the idea of not seeing her anymore kind of tears me up, but I kind of feel like it's all or nothing. I'm kind of a commitmentphobe anyway so I know that plays a role. I know I'm fairly young, but in the year apart I didn't find anyone that I was very interested in and I think we're both getting close to the age when you look to start settling down. And that part freaks me out a bit because, like I said, I haven't been with anyone else so I don't know how strong a relationship it is/was. Basically I'm just wondering if this is a normal amount of doubt in a relationship or if it seems like I should just let it go? Also, am I over-thinking it? Because I tend to do a lot of that too.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I, 17M, think I've just been heartbroken for the first time, without ever meeting her. What do I even do??
POST: Apologies in advance for formatting and spelling errors, on mobile.
So this girl [16] and I have been talking literally every single day for almost 8 weeks. We met on tinder. And maybe you just face palmed at that, but we clicked you know? I added her on facebook and snapchat and deleted my tinder. She lives about 100km away and neither of us drive.
We spoke for so so long every day. She needed someone I think. Her dad left before she was born and she gets really anxious about stuff. I cared about her. So I've been busy for the last couple of days and our conversations haven't been very intriguing because of it. She gave me the impression last night that we should take a break, but today she said she can't anymore. She can't think of not being with me without crying. She said she might even have loved me. I might have loved her too.
So she said goodbye and blocked me on both snapchat and facebook. I'm lost, guys. I cried. I've never lost someone close to me. Ive never even need to a funeral for close family members or anything. I feel lost. She's just gone.
So what the fuck do I even do? Do I try and go after her? I feel like that would just hurt her further. I know we're young and probably stupid but this was real. Is there anything I can do other than delete all my screenshots of her and her messages? Is this even a worthy post??? I'm lost, guys.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should i [18f] make a post on my schools fb page apologizing to [25m]
POST: I let hormones get the better of me and randomly asked out a tutor in school (for a different subject) because they helped me and I thought they liked me. This created an awkward environment as expected when they said no. I mean I don't know, they handled it pretty well by becoming really loud and overconfident but it was uncomfortable for me. I know I should have waited.
Is it a good idea to anonymously post on my school fb page apologizing? I felt bad for putting him in that position, but then again he seeemed to handle it well. he is a nice guy and i want him to know that I understand and that there was no hard feelings
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23/F] have a friend [23/F] of three years, who seems to be ignoring her on Facebook. Should I let her know how much it's bothering me?
POST: A good friend of mine from college is going through a tough time... Financial stress, dealing with a new job, etc. We live in different cities so I don't see her too often, but we've been texting or Facebook messaging at least weekly for a long time.
The problem is that when she's in a relationship that's going well, she tends to put all her energy into that. To me, someone is your friend all the time or not at all. For the past few months she's been taking longer and longer to write back to me on Facebook -- and I can SEE that she's still active on the app on her phone and posting things on her wall, just not responding to me. I wished her a happy birthday and it took her three days to acknowledge it, and even then all she wrote was thanks.
I feel really hurt whenever I think about it, but I've decided I just want to put it past me and not message her anymore. The thing is, she still messages me every few weeks or so -- and every time she does, it brings back all the hurt and insecurity for me. I'll still talk to her when she reaches out (usually with a problem she's having), but after we exchange a few messages, I'll get radio silence, leaving me feeling freshly rejected AND worried about whatever problem she's having.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to just message her saying how I feel. I know she'd think it's petty of me and that she'd be mad -- we've fought about this before during her last relationship when she kept abruptly canceling plans to hang out so she could spend time with her boyfriend, and she got crazy mad at me when I confronted her about it.
Honestly, I feel like I'm ok with drifting apart from her, but I can't put it behind me when she keeps messaging me out of the blue. I want her to message me consistently or not at all, or else I want to learn how to be less upset when she does message and (inevitably) ignore me.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: What should I [18/m] do about my [25/f] friend. Two years of being friends.
POST: So two years ago I met this wonderful girl over the internet, and we have been friends ever since. I immediately liked her and she confessed to me that she liked me to, but the only catch is that I live in Scotland, and she lives in Connecticut. We talked for months and became really close, then she went and found a boyfriend and acted like nothing happened between us.
So lately we've got really close again, much closer, and more serious than before. We know each other so much better this time and the love is more real. The only problem is that she is still with her boyfriend, who she is contemplating leaving. I've never pressured her to make a decision, out of respect for her but lately I feel that I need to get an answer, even if it's not what I want to hear. Should I confront her and ask for an answer, so I can move on with my life or not?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20/F] have an issue with the injections my boyfriend [21/M] is receiving.
POST: My boyfriend is receiving injections to "help him lose weight easily." He's mentioned being self-conscious about his body and I think weight loss would be fantastic for his confidence and his health. And although I'm definitely attracted to him as is, I think he'd look a lot better without so much excess weight. I've avoided the topic though, since he seemed interested in losing weight without me saying anything (so why hurt his feelings unnecessarily right?)
My issue is that he is horribly sabotaging his own weight loss. He will take the elevator for 1 floor. He will eat past when he admits to being full, apparently just for the sake of finishing (this happens often). He eats fast food on a daily basis. It's painful to watch, really.
I'm opposed to the injections, honestly. They seem like a really lazy way to handle a health issue. I think I'd be able to put up with the injections if he made an effort as well, but its infuriating to watch him treat the injections like magic fat removers.
I brought it up once and he kind of shrugged it off. His attitude was basically "yeah, you're probably right.." but then went back to the same thing. I don't want to nag him too much. I've already been on his ass about needing to get a job, so I'm afraid additional nagging will be bad for the relationship. He already has a mother and sister who nag him a lot and I don't want to be another critical opinion in his life. We've only been together for about 6 months, so maybe it's just not my place.
Should I just shut up? Should I bring it up again? What should I say differently, if I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey all. I need cheering up. Give me your funny antidotes!
POST: I live with my bf but since his older brother moved out of his parents house & moved in with us I have been severely depressed.
His bro has OCD, anorexia, "eats" our food (more like makes a big plate of food then throws it out), tells us how & what we can use & drains our internet cos he plays battlefield all day long. He has no job, no goals & is hoping to find a gf soon. He listens into our conversations, wakes us up in the morning. Even having sex gets interrupted. I come home to a messy house after work, I am the only one who cleans up, cooks the meals & pretty much mother the pair of them. My bf has accepted that he won't get a job & is ok with all of this. I would never get in between family so I keep my mouth shut, though passively let my bf know my concerns. I tried approaching his brother but I get an aggressive response. He is in his 30's & his parents don't want him back because they just got him out.
My bf & I have/had a great relationship, though since his brother moved in, I am not attracted to him anymore & I feel angry all the time. I want to move out but it breaks my bf's heart. It's not fair on him. He is trying to be a good partner & brother. I do love him & I know that I am not angry with him, just the situation.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I prevent the issues I have from my parents acting bi-polar from clouding my judgement of my boyfriend of 3 years who has always been 100% supportive.
POST: I'm 19 and he is 18. We have been in a relationship for 3 years, 1 of those years in the middle being at long distance. We have a strong bond and consider each other to be our best friend as we have been through quite an outstanding and unfortunate amount of troubled times involving ourselves and our families and friends throughout our relationship so far, which has brought us closer together.
There are no serious problems in our relationship in regards to each other. The problem I have lies within myself and my emotional baggage and it is affecting moments of our relationship. With my boyfriend's assistance, I recently came to realise that because of the way my parents treated me I often find it difficult to trust people and easy to be suspicious of people's words and actions despite reassurance.
My parents seem to have bi-polar tendencies. They'll say they "love me" and are "so proud of me" in one moment and then in another moment call me all the most awful names under the sun. For this reason whenever I get the feeling that my boyfriend is unhappy with me I cannot help but react and feel in extremities, like he suddenly doesn't love me anymore because I left all my make up in his bathroom.
I know how ridiculous that is considering he's been with me for over 3 years and I know without a doubt he still loves me all the same for the good and the bad yet I cannot shake this automatic reaction no matter how much I try. I thoroughly dislike being this way as it causes me anxiety for putting my boyfriend, who is so good to me, through this. I need and would much appreciate your help Redditors!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [31 M] need help dealing with the negativity of my [32 F]
POST: We were friends for a couple of years before we started dating, and dated for a year before we got a place together. I wouldn't have moved in with her if I wasn't serious and committed, but after a year of living together, our relationship is nothing like what I expected it to be, and I'm starting to feel down on the whole thing.
I want to be supportive. I know that she's sensitive, and I believe she has self-esteem issues. It feels like every other thing she says to me is a complaint about someone who's slighted or disrespected her, or just a random negative comment about someone or something she doesn't like, and it brings me down.
I've learned that she's not asking me to solve her problems, and I try not to tell her what to do, or what I would do. I used to make mean-spirited jokes about whoever she happened to be complaining about, but I don't feel like that's the person I am, and I don't like doing it. Now I feel like all I can say is, "that sucks," or "how inconsiderate," and I'm starting to feel like a broken record.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's something a doctor has done that has really pissed you off?
POST: My story is I had my doctor accusing me of absuing me pain medication after a major surgery. I had a neurosurgery so I had to get pain medication quite often and I had difficulties healing and since I'm under 18 doctors are super hesitant to prescribe pain medicine. I had a signed contract with this doctor that I wouldn't goto another doctor for pain medication or abuse my pills. Well, she thought I was selling me pills because I was going through them so fast but truth is I HONESTLY needed them. I'm still healing, still going through it, the surgery didn't fix the problem, just to add. Anyways, I agreed to take a drug test because I had nothing to hide. My doctor wanted to make sure the medication was in my system. She made a huge deal about trust and how serious the issue is. I took the drug [urine] test. I came back about a week later for the results and she informs me my urine got spilled so there were no results.
She then refused to see me again.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] really like a girl [21F] that I just met but I'm not sure what the next step is.
POST: So I'm new at dating really but I met a girl a few months ago that I liked for a while now. I saw her semi-often but never said much. A few weekends ago we met at a party and danced for a bit and went back to her apartment where we talked for a few hours. Later she invited me to hang out for a bit. Things went well and i asked her to go to an event but she couldn't make it. Instead she suggested we grab dinner. We did and things went well enough.
I think she likes me but im not sure what I should be doing now. Should I text her or go talk to her sometime? Should I just keep going on these small "dates" for a bit and then tell her how I feel? I dont want to rush things but at the same time I'm really nervous and kinda just want to rush things. We also don't text in between hanging out because I dont want to seem desperate or clingy.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Why is "be yourself" such a common suggestion to guys having dating trouble?
POST: *"Just be yourself."*
I've most commonly heard this suggestion to guys seeking advice come from women, so while my intention wasn't really to single anyone out, I suppose this question is primarily directed at you. I was roaming around /r/AskWomen and I saw this advice pop up repeatedly, which got me thinking as to whether anyone has actually thought this advice through. I don't know about any other guys out there, but when I was younger I used to hate hearing this whenever I asked anyone for advice with dating/relationships.
To me, it seems like a mildly insensitive and frankly superficial thing to say, especially because the followup is usually a collection of other blanket directives along the lines of: "be funny", "be intelligent", "be kind/caring", I've even heard/seen guys told to "just be a man/masculine". What if they're *genuinely* not funny? What if they don't fit with what people have been socialized to deem as *masculine*? I think that if the guys "being themselves" was really the problem, it would have solved itself already. I mean, they've been "being themselves" for however long without any self-satisfactory results, and that's kind of the point. By the time they ask for advice, they've already convinced themselves that there is something wrong with them, and they need to change themselves to get results. Which is wrong. Odds are, there's nothing really "wrong" with the guy, he just needs to be more confident in himself, more comfortable in his own skin. He needs to *own* who and what he is and make it work for himself. Personally I think that's the problem most guys have. I know that was the main problem I had growing up.
I believe that rather than telling a guy to just "be yourself", it would be better instead to tell them "be *confident* being yourself", or better still- "be *comfortable being* yourself".
Anyway, just a thought. I could be crazy and that's actually what people have meant all this time and I just didn't get it. Either way, any thoughts?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21M] and I [22F] are hoping to move in together this summer
POST: My boyfriend of just over a year and a half and I are looking at life after college, and we're hoping to move in together. I'm a science major so when it comes to a life decision my instinct is to research the hell out of it.
We're semi-long-distance now, about a 3 hour car ride away. We see each other often and spend about 3 days at a time together on the weekends. We feel like we know each other's habits, but obviously I'm expecting to confront things we haven't encountered yet.
What suggestions does everyone have for partners planning on moving in together? Conversations you had, decisions you made, quirks you wish you'd discussed? The more detailed, the better—we want to talk this over really thoroughly before we make this decision!
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