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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the closest you have come to shitting your pants in public?
POST: Mine was in 8th grade. Our seating arrangement was changed in a random order once every month. I always sat next to this really pretty girl, in fact, I probably sat next to her 75% of the year. I have this class right after lunch so usually I'm really gassy. Anyway one day I had to shit really bad, I was farting every 2 minutes. Then i felt it. I felt the turd coming slowly, I tried to hold it in as hard as I could but i could't stop it. A little bit slipped out but wasn't all the way out it was stuck. I had to sit in an awkward position because I didn't want to smear it in my pants. Finally class was over, I sprinted to the bathroom as fast as I could. The second i got in a stall that turd that was stuck in my ass got pinched off and slid all the way through my boxers and down my shorts. It hit the toilet seat on the way down and landed on the floor. Then i took the biggest shit of my life.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Uninvited to an important even because of ex.
POST: My ex boyfriend and I broke up almost 4 years ago. The breakup wasn't easy for me but at this point we haven't talked in 3+ years and I'm 23 now and engaged to my boyfriend of 2.5 years.
Recently he moved to the same city as my three best friends in California and ended up helping one of them with a project. To celebrate the completion of the project, my friend is throwing a party. He invited me so I bought a ticket to California. Then he told me he was sorry but my ex refused to show up if I did so I can't come. I was surprised, I've done nothing to make him think I'll even try to talk to him, I was prepared to be civil and figured he was too. My friends have told me he reads my blog and buys my books so I definitely didn't think he was still so fragile he couldn't even be in the same room.
There are other people going I haven't seen in years and I was really looking forward to seeing my friend's project. At first I was mad at my friend but I realize he just got put in a bad spot by my ex and I get why he picked him when he had to choose. So I've been thinking about contacting my ex and asking him to reconsider since at this point I guess it's up to him. I really didn't plan talk to him ever and I don't want to start anything but it means a lot for me to go to this thing and I already invested in it. I'm wondering if people think this is a good idea or have any other suggestions to keep the peace and still be able to go.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [24 f] with boyfriend [25 m] for four years, and fine with not getting married... but other people can't get over it.
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for four years. It's a solid, stable, healthy relationship and he is great. We still feel like we're in the early stages of a relationship, with all the sex, giggling, playfulness to match. Basically, lots of happiness.
We're both in graduate school pursuing difficult fields that we love, and we're both rather poverty stricken. Our parents don't financially support us in any way (a lot our friends seem to have parents who do... it seems common for our very expensive city.) So we struggle by the best we can.
We don't talk about marriage much except in fantasy terms now and then, and my boyfriend has made it clear the reason he won't propose anytime soon is because he simply doesn't have the money for a ring or to support a stable lifestyle of another human being, or if we were to decide to have a kid. Also we can't afford to get married unless we were to go to a courtroom kind of ceremony, and we both fantasize about at least a decently nice wedding with our friends and family.
I am fine with it except occasionally I get paranoid about it... because every now and then, I have female friends who will say things like "No ring after four years? Wow... I wouldn't do it, but... I mean you must be really secure in your relationship to put up with that." Pretty much EVERYONE I know who has been in a relationship for longer than two years seems to get engaged right away. I know half these marriages will end in divorce (just plain fact) but sometimes I start to get nervous that, am I being "stupid" for not wanting him to marry me after such a long time together?
Basically, often acquaintances or friends will seem to suggest that he must be stringing me along for having not proposed after this long.
I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has been in longterm relationships or just has advice about how to handle comments like this, or if I should be worried at all...
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you have a mental disorder or disability, do you find that your disorder is poorly represented by the media?
POST: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about six years ago. Since then I have sought help and am now medicated and doing quite well. Though I do still have episodes, which can cause strain on my life, and those of my loved ones, they have gotten much better.
I have found that whenever bpd is portrayed in TV shows or movies the person with the disorder is always shown as a complete psychopath. They go crazy, doing tons of drugs, having crazy sex, (sometimes killing people, if it is a crime show), then going into major depression and trying to kill themselves. While I have had horrible episodes where I have gone 'off the deep end', I find that these portrayals are not only incorrect, but also extremely insulting.
Has anyone else noticed similar trends for your disorder/disability?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what do you think of extramarital affairs?
POST: I met this guy recently who is 33 (I'm 21). He's really cool and interesting, we have a ton in common, he's good looking and we immediately had an attraction.
We've hung out about 4 times and the second time he kissed me for the first time. I was really excited about it and told my mom (she's my best friend. whatever.) and she was like is he married? i told her i didn't know and she told me that's what i needed to know before anything else.
So tonight we hung out and when i finally got the chance to ask i did: are you married? he said yes. at first i thought he was kidding. he was not.
his story is not unlike the typical story. she doesn't want to have sex anymore and as a result, they basically aren't together anymore. but they're not separated or divorced. they still live together - i couldn't bring myself to ask whether it was 2 beds or not. he says its for financial reasons because he's in school and working and she's working.
so here's where i'm at: part of me is truly upset and wants to end things with him. the other part of me really likes him and connects with him. i don't know if what he said is the truth and i don't want to ruin a relationship if its not. i asked if she knew that he was looking outside the marriage and he said that she didn't and this was the first time. however, i've always been a believer that things happen for a reason.
i don't know what to do. i know its wrong but i'm not sure how wrong it is. normally, i wouldn't say that there's any justification for cheating but i didn't expect to feel like i do. please help me?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my [26M] breaking up after 5.5 years
POST: As the title says, I just want to hear something inspirational. I'm 24/F, my bf is 25/M and I just don't think he's the one I want to marry. After 5 years together, I don't think I should be hesitating this much, right? Please help me feel less insecure, tell me it's going to be okay. I will be ruining his life, temporarily, I'm sure, but still. He loves me so much, he doesn't really have other friends. I'm also worried about myself. Will I become a hermit? I do have friends, but not any close friends. I'm a shy introverted person. I realized recently that he's the closest I've ever been to anyone. He knows more about me than any of my friends.
Have you been in my situation? How did you end it (or how were you broken up with), and do you have regrets? Are you happy now?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Curious as to how cautious I [24/m] should possibly be about someone [23/f] who's been on&off with a guy for nearly 5+ years
POST: She recently broke up with this guy. They've been together for a soild 2-3 years, but she's left him multiple times, and they've been on and off for over 5 years, total. We're not currently dating or anything, but she knows I really like her. I couldn't be happier knowing she's now single, but deep down, I'm concerned I should be cautious. Is it common for people to date on & off, and break up with who they're with to go back to that person? If her and I dated, would it possible I could get left and she go back to him? Or maybe if we date, and I'm better than he was, she'll forget him? I understand if this question is too vague of details to answer. But considering she just went through a rough break up, leaving him, I feel it's very inappropriate right now to talk to her about her previous boyfriends (or if I ever should).
If any of you have been in a similar situation as to mine, or been in her or his shoes, I'd love some help! Thank you...
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [24 M/F] of 5 months , are having communication issues now that we're long distance.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. We were together in person for 2 months but have been long distance for the past 3 months. When we were together for the first two months everything was fine, but since we've been apart for the past three months we've had some communication issues. She said she needs to feel like I'm still chasing her. This takes me by surprise because I feel like everything is generally going well. I've honestly never been this open and talkative with any woman that I've ever dating before. She literally said
>I really need you to TALK, because sometimes I just feel the same as not having a boyfriend...alone. I don't know if you think that just because I'm already your girlfriend you don't have to win me anymore or what.
When we were together in person everything was fine. If I was going to buy lunch, I'd check and see if she wanted me to get something for her. I'd just kiss her randomly if we were out somewhere or just see if she wanted to go out for a walk. But we can't do that for now since we are long distance.
The thing is, I feel like we generally communicate really well. We text each other pretty much everyday through Whatsapp and talk a few times a week through Skype. I'm not really sure what else she wants. We agree on all of the major relationship issues (religion, kids, sex, money) so I don't think this is something to break up over.
We've talked about this before and I was never really the gushy type. When we were together she could see my actions and know that I was thinking about her so she really didn't mind that I didn't say it that much.
Even though neither of us were virgins when we first started dating this is the first serious relationship for both of us.
I'm not sure what to do. Does anybody have any words of advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] have feelings for best friend [22 F] want to move on without going no contact
POST: So I've been friends with this girl for about a year and a half, and for the first year I wasn't interested in anything romantic with her, and I just enjoyed being friends with her. Eventually over the last few months, I started to have feelings for her and ended up having sex with her one night whilst we were drunk. To cut a long story short, I had feelings for her and she didn't feel the same way.
We're still really good friends, and I want to be able to continue being friends and not have to cut her out of my life to get over this, so I'm looking for some advice to help me and to hear some peoples experiences with this.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: DUMPED BEFORE VALENTINE'S DAY Me [31 M] with my ex GF [29 F] **tl;dr**: Should I take her back if I still care?
POST: My GF dumped me the Tuesday before Valentines Day. We had been together for 9 months and both expressed or love for each other. She claimed she didn't get to see me enough ( we live an hour away and both have kids). I told her I understood but I was still pretty angry and I got the feeling there was more to it then that, like another guy. She assured me that was not the case and that she really still loved me.
From Tuesday to Saturday I hoped she would change her mind, and being a prideful person, I did not make the first contact. She finally texted me Saturday night, explaining she would like to remain friendly. Again, I am a prideful person and explained that I could not remain friends with somebody who dumped me, regardless of the reason.
I deleted all info of her so as I could not contact her in a moment of weakness and worked on getting over her ( I really did love her). About a week later she sends me a text saying she misses talking to me and wants to talk on the phone, which we do for two hours.
We text over the next few days and sex is a topic that comes up much. We pretty much get to the point of sexting and talking about getting together. During the conversation I mention something to the effect that I could never have sex with a chick that recently slept with another guy. Her response (text) "oh". She precedes to tell me she hooked up with a high school teacher she met online the day after valentines day. She said because she was "so horny" from seeing 50 Shades of Grey.
Before that point I was thinking about trying to get back with her. Now I am just a little disgusted by her and wonder how anybody could claim to love somebody, but screw some stranger the day after breaking up with you. I might add that she said she still loved me and would like to make it work. I pretty much told her her there is no chance in hell I would ever get over that and could never have sex with her again. Again, my pride.
My question?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by making my girlfriend cry.
POST: A little back story - My girlfriend and I are both 16 and this is my first major serious relationship. We've been "official" since February 26th and she's met my parents and I've met hers.
So she picks me up from school today and we finished up some math and English homework together. After that my bestfriend and his girlfriend come over and we head upstairs to my room and look at yearbooks and listen to music. We eat dinner and then my friend leaves and my gf and I go downstairs and watch Drive, make out here and there and then I grab a blanket because she was cold and lay it over us. The movie finishes and we start another movie with only 30 minutes until she has to go home. We start making out more and soon enough she is riding me (we still have clothes on) and I start feeling her up her shirt when all of a sudden I see a dark figure out of the corner of my right eye and my heart stops. Time slows and my gf squeals and hops off and pulls her shirt back up.
It was my dad.
He says that he is going to leave soon and that she needs to start packing up to head home. (It was true, but he said it in a very weird way) She's laying on the couch staring and me and I'm staring at her. She was so embarrassed. I walk her to her car and tell I'm sorry and that we'll make it through this and stuff. As soon as I walk back into my house my dad is right there and talks about how she isn't allowed upstairs at all and how the room will have all of the lights on and no blanket will be covering her. He says he is dissapointed in me and I'm certain he doesn't respect me or her as much anymore. She calls her best friend (my best friend's gf) crying and now I'm trying to talk to her and tell her it's O.K. TIFU
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(M20) love my girlfriend(F20) of 2.5 years, but have feelings for someone else(F18)...
POST: I'd like to start this off by saying that I would never cheat. Ever.
My girlfriend, let's call her T, and I transferred to the same school last year and live in the same dorm building on campus. Last fall we had a rough patch and I almost broke up with her for reasons during the Winter. She told me that she would change and I believed her.
Ever since then things have been great. Our relationship really bloomed. Besides some small things (she's Christian I'm agnostic, she can be cynical sometimes, etc) I've really been enjoying this era of our relationship.
Alright, so flashback to last Fall. I was joining some clubs and meeting new people, including the person I mentioned in the title, let's call her A. I was immediately attracted to A. She seemed ambitious (something I am) and intelligent. We clicked.
Despite wanting to get to know her better as a friend, I knew I couldn't see her alone because of my relationship and the temptation of falling hard for her. So our time with each other was limited to club events and other gatherings with mutual friends.
Flash forward to now. Me and T moved back to college and everything seems great. I see A around and we are still good friends, but my little crush seems to have faded, that is, until we spent some time alone after a club meeting. She opened up to me about some guy she was seeing but was conflicted about their relationship. This was the first time we had a serious heart to heart, and it felt great. It was like taking a sip from a delicious cup of tea but having to leave the rest on the table.
This was last week and I have been thinking about her nonstop. These feelings frighten me because I DO love my girlfriend, but I also crave more time with A. Sometimes I feel like I've been emotionally cheating on her and it feels awful.
I guess my question is...
Do you guys think I should wait out these feelings and see if they go away? Any advise or input is appreciated. Thank you.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21, F] am having a difficult time breaking up with my boyfriend [27, M] of nearly a year.
POST: (I'll be using the term boyfriend throughout this post because I'm not really sure what the status of our relationship is at the moment).
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. It's been a generally pleasant relationship, but I'm not really sure we have a future together. We used to have a lot of fun, and there was a time where I thought maybe I loved him, but things have changed.
He took on a second job, and I started fall classes. He lives about 90 minutes away in another state, so it's already difficult to set time aside to see each other. Now, I spend most of my time off studying or sleeping. I don't really have the motivation or time for a relationship. I told my boyfriend this about a week or two ago, and while he was initially upset, he said he'd wait things out.
I don't really want to wait things out. I like him, I care about him, and I do enjoy his company...I just don't have the strong romantic feelings that I used to. Traveling out to see him takes a good chunk of time, and because of our schedules, we usually only get to hang out late at night when we're both exhausted. We don't really go out or spend time with his friends anymore. We just grab food at the store, turn on the tv, and go to sleep.
What do I do? I've explicitly said that now is not a good time for me to be in a relationship, that I'd like to be alone, and yet we're still not really broken up. I don't want things to be ugly, and I'd still like to hang out on occasion, but I just don't have the energy to treat him like I should at this point in time.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My mother is insistent on making my 5 year old pray before bed when he stays at her house regardless of how much it bothers me. How can I convince her to respect my (non)religious and parenting beliefs?
POST: Some background: My mom converted to Mormonism when I was 2 and I was brought up in the church. After thirteen years of hypocrisy, bigotry, and endless amounts of guilt every time I didn't "Choose the Right" I apostatized at 15. I'm now 23 and haven't set foot in a church since then.
My mom still goes to church and I don't have a problem with it, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. However I decided early on that I don't want my five year old son brought up to be religious because of my experiences with religion. I recently discovered that when she babysits him overnight she makes him pray with her before bed.
When I found this out I immediately stated that I was uncomfortable with it, which led to my son having a melt down because he suddenly wants to pray. She's indoctrinating him against my will and I don't know how to get her to stop without severing contact. If anyone has any ideas about how I can deal wit this I would deeply appreciate input.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A construction worker just went into my apartment and took a picture of my living room. Should I be worried? (from assistance)
POST: I just moved into a one-bedroom apartment. The property was just built and there are still some workers finishing up landscaping and some pavement outside. I was warned by my landlord that some of those workers might come in to do some last minute inspections this afternoon. Which is fine except...
I'm at work currently and my GF is in my apartment. She just texted me and told me that some workers came in and asked if they could take a picture of the apartment. She didn't really convey the context of the conversation very well (if they were taking it for their records to document that the apartment is finished, taking pictures of defects or blemishes etc...). But she did say that it seemed like they were just taking a general picture of my living room. Which I find a bit disturbing. On the innocent side, my GF just said he mentioned that he didn't think anyone had moved in yet. So he's either lying to make it sound innocent or wasn't expecting anyone to be in and just needed a picture for documentation.
There is a keypad entry to the only door into my building, and my door has a deadbolt. I'm worried that the construction worker may be planning on selling the picture and keypad combination to a thief. Leaving only my deadbolt to be pried open with a pry bar. Should I be worried, or am I overreacting? What should I do besides make sure my door is always locked? Thanks in advance!
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Made $5K and want to give to parents for loans on MY education - DO I HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON IT?
POST: I'm 21 years old and about to graduate college. My parents have taken out a large sum of federal PLUS loans for my education, and I would like to give them some money that I made over the summer to help pay off these loans. The amount in question is about $5,000, and I know that my parents are able to receive paid interest exemption on their federal loan. Is there any way for me to give my parents this amount without having to include it in my personal income tax return, and are there any other rules I need to keep in mind for my parents and myself when filling taxes?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M17] am in love with my close friend [M18] who will never love me and it kills me everyday.
POST: Throwaway. I'm looking for advice and a place to write this all down.
I've had this feelings since sophomore year and we're seniors going off to college soon. We're close friends, but it'll never work out. I've accepted that I'm gay and it's no big deal to me, but I go to a private Catholic school where it'd be a big deal. For this reason I'm only out to a close but separate group of friends. He does not know.
Anyways, I don't know what to do. I try to get it over it, but I just feel numb. I want to cut contact with him, but then I see him and I just can't bring myself to do it. So I keep doing what I'm doing, and I end up feeling worse. I can't breathe when I see him with someone else.
I'm graduating very soon and will soon be in a better, more accepting environment. He's going to want to keep in touch, but I know if I do, I'll never get over him. I know I sound dumb and childish, but I'm just so tired of feeling this way.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] broke up with my ex [21 F] of 5 years, 10 months ago. I've been told she's found someone new, yet I'm still struggling to move on.
POST: I had been with my now ex, for 5 years. We've had plenty of ups and downs. 4 of those 5 years where long distance. I'll spare all the details and just say our break up wasn't pretty. It literally tore me apart.
As humans of Chinese descent, her parents detest (I do mean detest) me. Why? I'm not sure, they barely know me. They just do.
So on a cold winters night, she said she wanted to meet me, and ended it. Stating that our relationship will never work, all because her parents won't approve.
I spent a while in depression. Mainly because, to me, we've been through so much, and it ultimately came to nothing. The past few months I've pulled myself back on track and just tried to carry on with my life, but part of me just won't let go.
I've never been one to open up about my problems, but after hearing that she has found someone new, I really want to try and put her behind me. My heart still sinks whenever someone mentions her.
Has anyone been through the same situation? How did you move on?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 23] am seeing and starting to get very serious with someone [M 29] who makes significantly more than I do.
POST: I read through some previous threads on this sub but couldn't find anything quite like my situation, so here goes.
I [M 23] am seeing and starting to get very serious with another guy [M 29] who makes much, MUCH more than I do. Last night, we went out for a date and he chose the place. I managed to get a sneak at the bill before he quickly grabbed it up, refused to let me put my debit card down as well to split the bill, and gave it back to the server. It was an almost $200 bill. I'm recently out of university and not earning much yet, so $200 is about how much I have to spend a month for nights out, entertainment, etc. Everything else goes to rent and other bills. Basically, what he can drop in a night is what I've got for a whole month.
It's very nice of him to do that and I do appreciate it, but here's my dilemma. If I try to "keep up" with him, I'm going to break my bank. I just don't have that kind of money power right now. We could go to cheaper places, but I know that he enjoys the places that he takes me much more than the dive bars I go to for a cheap beer. I also don't want him to have to not visit his favorite places when we go out together just because I can't afford it.
Furthermore, it's a bit awkward for me to have him paying so much. It's happening fairly often, and I know that he likes to feel like he can "take care of me", but I don't need or want that. And, because he's covered so much, it makes me feel like I have to make it up to him. Obviously, I can't reciprocate with money, gifts, nights out, so how do I even the score? Do I have to even the score? And finally, how would you bring his up?
I've had a friend say that I should just sit back and let him pay. Is she right? I feel like that would just be me taking advantage of him.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am [19M]. My girlfriend [20F] of a year and a half doesn't like me playing games with my friends. Any help?
POST: So here's the situation. All my friends (including my girlfriend) are in a clan in a game called Clash of Clans. For those who don't know, it's basically a village building game where you can train troops to attack other villages, and wage wars between other clans.
It often happens that when I am at a social event, my friends and I discuss the game and open it up, usually to plan attack strategies and coordinate attacks.
This makes my girlfriend very angry. If I'm at a social event without her, and we do this, she will fight with me for days, claiming that because I chose to do that instead of texting her, I don't love her, and I prioritize video games over her.
This doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean, I'm at a social event, talking to my friends about a game. It just so happens that we have it open so we can point and strategize more easily. It's not like I go off in a corner to play an RPG or something anti-social.
If we didn't have the game, it's not like I would have texted her anyway because I'm talking with friends.
She has claimed that all women would agree with her. What do you all think? Do you think my actions imply that I don't really love her and value video games more than her?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my partner[23M] of just over a year; I'm trying to decide whether or not to continue living together.
POST: So he and I have been together for a year and a few months. After four months, we both moved in and moved out of state together. It wasn't ideal, but he didn't know anyone here, and I figured it'd be hard but we could give it a shot.
I love him, but most of our issues are because we live together. He doesn't really tend to do his share of household chores, he spends kind of frivolously and sometimes is short on rent because of it, and he doesn't really contribute to apartment needs. One of the other major problems is that we work completely different schedules. I work a day job 9-5. He works second shift and his weekends are usually a Wednesday and Thursday. This means we never have a full day off together, and when he goes out with friends sometimes he comes in at 3 in the morning and it wakes me up. He gets to sleep all day before work, and I do not, so when it wakes me up, I'm getting only a few hours of sleep sometimes.
To make a long story short (too late...), I know we care about each other, but I don't feel like he respects my time, space and boundaries sometimes. Most of the problems we have (but not all of them) come from living together. I want to stay together but live in different apartments this year with our best friends. I figured if our relationship kind of irons itself out then we could always move back in together down the line, and if it doesn't then at least we're not stuck in a lease together. Has anyone tried this? Anyone have any tips for how to gently and lovingly have that conversation?
Thanks folks!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband's [25m] friends hurt my [24f] feelings and I'm unsure if I should bother trying anymore. Together ~6 years
POST: Hi. I'm going to make this short, so hopefully more people may read it.
My husband's friends (mid to late twenties F and M) are at an event. I went to the same event 7 years ago. We plus other friends of my husband are in a chat where they're discussing how much they dislike the event. I'm making comments about it. Their response is how they don't give a fuck about when I went, and the other friend of my husband's went on to say how my comments are retarded.
In response to the first comment I said no one forces her to read my messages, and in response to the second I said that I'm just passing the time (i.e. just talking in the chat for funzies), and there is no need to be rude to me. My husband said nothing and plans on saying nothing nor doing anything about his friend's comments.
I've tried for years to be friends with them. Some of his friends are nice, but these two are not. Should I even bother? I feel like I'm suppose to just let it go, let them curse at me and insult me and not let it affect me. The truth is though it does hurt. I use to have very low self-essteem, and to hear that from people my husband views as his closest and oldest friends hurt so much.
Seriously, I was about to start crying in public during a break from my work. I did deep breathing exercises and didn't cry though... But, it shouldn't be like this! Why can't they be nice like my own friends? Or my in-laws? Or my family? I don't understand.
I can post a screen cap of the convo if that helps. Thanks everyone.
Also, we may go on a international trip with them. My husband also plans on going cross-country to see them for 4 days plus the annual 5 day long trip we take with them. These people I can't exactly ignore... But how can I work with people who are, well, mean?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing a moustache and accidentally making a Hitler salute
POST: Context: Today was Movember and some of us wore a moustache to school today. I didn't wear a moustache but my friend had a toothbrush moustache.
School ends and we wait for the bus, longing for the weekend. While we're waiting for it, he decided to show it to me and let me wear it for a while. A couple of Hitler jokes were thrown around.
The unforgettable sound of the bus came and I raised my hand to 'catch' the bus. *It wasn't a bus. It was a truck.* And then a teacher's car drives out and stops besides me, letting the truck go first. **SHIT.** I just did a nazi salute and she's staring at me. My friend quickly took off the moustache and she drove off.
The teacher in question doesn't *particularly* like me, or a couple of my friends for that matter. On Monday I find out whether she remembers or not. I hope she doesn't.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Possible new relationship....but she is pregnant, what do I do?
POST: I'm getting into a relationship that I [22M] never really thought would happen. I'm a guy and I've known this girl [22F] since high school. We were in the same graduating class, and we worked at the same place after high school. We even went to the same college and had a few classes together. We had been friends through all of this but she had an on/off boyfriend the whole time, and i had been in a semi-serious relationship for 3 years. Anyway she joined the military and was gone for 6 or so months and her and said boyfriend break up for real.
During this break up we get a lot closer and start kind of getting closer sexually too. At this point for me she was just that friend I always had, but I felt like it was becoming more. Then, brace for it, she gets back with her ex and ends up getting pregnant. So they try to work it out for the sake of the baby. But like a thousand times before, they broke up. Now we are getting close like we were before, and this has been going on for a month and a half or so.
What I need advice on is if I should continue to further my relationship with her and how? I mean I do like her and care about her. But idk how we could possibly have anything real with her having another guys kid. I don't want to get invested with her, and then end up getting hurt by her going back to the baby daddy. I don't know what to do. Help me please.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/21] want to put myself out there, but my confidence and trust issues are holding me back.
POST: Hello r/Relationships! This is my first time posting here! Anyways, I am at a point in my life where I am finally feeling ready to start dating again. When was the last time you ask?...9th grade. It's been a while. We dated for a year then she cheated me. That was the beginning of a series of unfortunate almost-relationships where I never quite found my footing again. I was turned down a lot because of the way I looked. I was kind of the funny guy in high school, but I was also pretty pudgy and really greasy/pimply. I guess I had the charm just not the looks. Still didn't stop me from trying, but after being turned down many times it tore down my confidence bit by bit until there was nothing left. It got so bad that I was ashamed to show myself in public. I would purposely avoid a lot of social events because of the way I looked. So I said to myself, "no one is ever going to hurt you again because of the way you look". I actively avoided relationships while I worked on self improvement (working out, and clearing up my face). I think I look pretty decent now :) (pics If you guys want? ,but I don't think its that important) Anyways, I'm 21, still a virgin, and have a complete lack of relationship experience. I really want to start trying again, but I still can't shake this lack of self worth. I don't have any confidence and thats what makes me unattractive now. Does anyone know what I should do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend impeding on girlfriend and my vacation?
POST: Alright, the deets, I'm 23M, girlfriend is 30F, together for a little over three years on/off. We've been planning a vacation to a particular big city for a while, saving up, we're both really busy all the time with work and school so we're looking forward to getting away and relaxing/exploring somewhere we don't know very well.
I have a friend who lives in the city (22F) and when I told her we were coming to visit (the city, not her in particular), she got excited, wondered where we were staying, etc. I was just and still am thinking we'll hook up for lunch or drinks or something like that. When I told her the days we were coming, she took note, and then a few days later asked if she could get a ride back to town with us when we leave (we're from the same hometown). I said I'm not so sure about it; she's been getting pushy about it.
My girlfriend and her have only met briefly, never hung out, and the car ride is about 7 hours. For some reason I'm apprehensive about all of this (I have a history of high anxiety and what many seem to enjoy calling 'overthinking'), and in a way, kind of annoyed that my friend would get all pushy about it. The trip is only three weeks away - it seems like if she was wanting to go home at a particular time she would've planned a little better for it? I don't know what to do, because I think if I tell her no, she'll think it's because of my gf and wrongly hold a grudge against her, but if I tell her that it's actually my decision, I think it might hurt her feelings and our friendship. Would I be a dick to say 'no' to my friend? Is it possible that I am way overthinking this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Tiny Puppy in the Big Dog Park
POST: I have a ~15 lb 2 year old Papillon and a 5 lb eight month Japanese Chin/Pom mix. Both of them are fixed. We take them hiking and to the dog park every weekend, but the park has a very small little dog park which is almost always empty and the big dog park where there's a whole bunch of space but it's always bustling. We've been letting our Pap off leash and walking around where he has the chance to sniff other dogs and let them sniff him, but he mostly follows us. We keep our little mix on leash because she's still fairly young and gets too easily distracted still. Should we not be taking them in there at all? We only did the first time because the small dog park was closed and there were a ton of little dogs in the park. The guidelines say > 20 lbs, but there are a bunch of shih-tzu and other smaller dogs in there and so far there hasn't been an incident? We also play it by ear as to which park we go into, but there just isn't enough space for them to run or play in the little park and there are hardly ever any other dogs in there. I just read a bunch of posts about little doggies being injured and now I'm super-concerned even though so far there's been no incident with my dogs (although there's a lot of humping with other dogs that owners don't pay attention to, which pisses me off).
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] girlfriend [18F] "broke up with me" but we haven't told anyone. Need advice/opinions.
POST: So I have been dating the same girl for the last 2.5 years, basically a high school relationship and our friends are the same. Now the other day (Tuesday) as I'm trying to figure out why she has been more distant physically and emotionally, she comes out and states that no matter how nice I am to her or what we've been through she "just doesnt care". She still thinks me her best friend (which I agree with) and how she cares about me and loves me but she says she has no apathy (right?) to make her want to be less "sarcastic and rude" and caring emotionally and physically.
As for me, I was quite sad at first and taken aback because she never communicated problems to me. And I still love her and care about her. Now we stayed together all night and talked and slept and talked some more. Definitely some crying. Next morning we hugged good bye and she kissed me (lips).
Now the thing is all though she said she doesnt want to continue on we never really established anything and have hung out everyday since. We haven't told our friends either or parents or made it "facebook official". So I am very confused and distraught over everything and she has been being nicer and I dont know how to take it all and/or what to do. We still want to be friends but we havent established anything.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my Biological Father [?? M], I've Never Met Him, And I'd Like to Meet Him
POST: Hey /r/Relationships,
I've been lurking for a little while and I figured this subreddit might be able to answer a few question and concerns.
As I stated in the title, I've never met my biological father. He and my mother[50F] divorced when she was still pregnant with me. The only real information I have on him are based on what my mother has told me.
I recently searched Facebook and Linkedin to see if I could find him as our last name has a less uncommon spelling in the U.S. I was able to find him after showing the profiles to my mom.
I've always had a curiosity about him, mostly curious as to why he had no interest in being in my life. I'm not really sure if I'm looking for any sort of relationship out of him, though I'd like to meet his side of the family. I only have a few faint memories of my grandparents from his side, though contact stopped long ago.
Here are the questions I have for you guys:
Have you ever reached out to a parent that you never met?
How did you go about initiating first contact?
How did it go?
Did you get any closure or feel better after talking/meeting them?
Any thoughts and stories of personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Home life sucks, I need a hobby
POST: I just graduated high school this year and since that was pretty much the only thing giving my life structure, things have kind of fallen apart. I live in an area where there's nothing worthwhile in walking distance. Since I'm not old enough to drive yet (I do have a learner's permit) I can't hang out with friends since my nearest one is more than two hours away, and I can't get a job. My sole form of entertainment is whatever I can do online. I'm sick and tired of sitting at home all day doing nothing. My sister is so rude and toxic that I want to punch her in the face every time I see her. I know it sounds harsh but if you met her you would understand. It's no exaggeration when I say she's tearing my family apart. All she does is start fights and create problems in our family. I need to get out of the house but there's nothing to do.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do website CAPTCHAs really need to be so complicated?
POST: Hello reddit,
I was signing up for my 1253rd "temporary" account on a website forum so I could get an answer to this question I was Googling. Lo and behold, as soon as I was about to start signing up, I was presented with a CAPTCHA. Now me and CAPTCHAs have an interesting relationship. I've filled out hundreds, maybe thousands in the past, as I'm sure many of you also have. But this CAPTCHA caught me off guard.
It was so ridiculously complicated that I just couldn't make out any of the numbers or letters. I tried refreshing several times..YES SEVERAL, until I found one that I could barely make out and finally sign up.
Then a few days later, I was signing up for this web app and I saw another CAPTCHA, but this one was a PUZZLE. Like an actual PUZZLE with puzzle pieces that you had to fit together to make a house! Have computers really come so far and hacking tools become so advanced that we need such intricate and convoluted spam controls just to keep websites safe? Or do web admins just like annoying the hell out of people?! Please explain!
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Federal Student Loans & Maximizing PAYE Debt Forgiveness
POST: My husband and I both have/will have graduate degrees paid for almost entirely by loans. (He's an attorney, I'm an incoming 1L nontraditional student). Upon graduation, I expect we'll have about $180,000 in combined student loans at rates between 4-8%. It's a lot, I know.
We've built up an emergency fund and have been saving for retirement. We bought a house (I know, I know - Dave Ramsay devotees are clutching their pearls, but it was the right choice for us. Our current housing expense is comparable to what we paid in rent, and we can tap into savings/Roth IRAs in the event of catastrophe.) Beside the mortgage and student loans, we carry no other debt.
I am planning to enter a niche field (tax law) that has relatively strong job prospects and is a good match for my work experience. My husband has less of a niche specialty and currently earns $60,000 working at a startup. (Yes, it's risky putting him in sole breadwinner role given the risks inherent to startup life. It's not ideal, but if disaster struck there are always more student loans available. We're trying to minimize this to whatever extent possible.) Public Service Loan Forgiveness isn't something that will work for either one of us.
Because all of these are eligible for PAYE - reducing our payment to 10% of discretionary income - I'm confident that student loans won't prevent us from eating. This program allowed us to stay on top of loan payments in the 2 years my husband struggled to find work, and will probably be necessary while I pursue my own JD.
However - I'm currently struggling to figure out our loan repayment strategy. Assuming we'll make a combined $125,000 when I graduate, the monthly minimum under PAYE will be much less than the $1800-ish monthly payment under the 10 year standard plan. Should we throw every extra dollar we have at the debt, or should we maximize the amount to be forgiven in 20 years by paying only the minimum under PAYE and put aside extra for the tax bill?
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Can I currently afford to save for and buy a house?
POST: My current take-home pay is approximately $2,100.00 per month, with an additional $2,500.00 per year from a second job that I may or may not keep after this year.
Current debts:
CC @ $300.00
Car lease @ 325.00 per month until July 2016 (then will probably buy or buy used)
Student Loans just under $12,000.00 outstanding.
Rent and Utilities per month is between $675 and $800 depending on the season.
I'll be 28 in April and have yet to start a retirement account (oops :() nor have I begun to save for a home. I live alone so I would like to base all future buying prospects on only one income, regardless of weather or not that will change in the future.
I am considering a job/career change as I will never make any more money than I do now working where I am. However, I'm trying to determine if I should do that sooner rather than later. I know that it CAN be done as a friend of mine, my age, owns a home and has no SO or roommate for financial support on a teacher's salary in MA.
As a side note, I do have some Bonds that I'm planning on reinvesting soon into a Roth/Mutual Fund/Stocks, if possible. About $5500.00 worth. I am also considering allocating more to my student loans every month. Currently only the minimum is being paid.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] am wondering if it's unreasonable to ask my bf [22M] of 2 years to pay half for hormone therapy to help with low libido
POST: Throwaway because my username is known by friends and family and this issue is kind of embarrassing.
I am on hormonal birth control and Topamax for migraine prevention. Getting off either isn't really an option at this point in time because they both work well together in getting rid of my chronic migraines. I went to the gynecologist today to ask about my low sex drive, and he said it was most likely caused by the two medications I'm on. He recommended Depo-Testosterone injections to help get my drive back up.
Would it be unreasonable to ask him to pay half for this, or at least help out? I have insurance but will have to pay some amount out of pocket.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I hated high school. What's your most embarrassing high school story Reddit?
POST: Rewind to freshman year of high school, where your first impression really counts. As a freshman I was stocky, but I wasn't fat. I just looked "muscley". But what people didn't know, is when it came to gym class, my "crack" sweat like a waterfall. My solution? Butt tampons. No I didn't actually stick a tampon up my ass (though that would of saved me in my case). What I did was before gym, I would wad up some toilet paper, and stick it between my "cheeks".
One month goes by and this butt tampon is a success, until we started the the hockey unit. I don't know why, but for some reason while running with the puck with this hot sophomore girl right behind me, my buttpon fell out. At first I thought, shit, maybe no one will notice. Until she stepped on it. At that point, all hell broke loose. Sweat squished out of it onto the gym floor and she SCREAMED, alerting everyone what just happened. To this day (though much more in-shape, and no butt sweat problem), I'm known as the kid who used buttpons in highschool.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [41 M] with my GF [39 F] 10months, had a small fight...
POST: My gf of about 10 months and I had a fight. We didn't really raise our voices or anything and it was mostly done via texting. I wrote some things out of anger/sadness...nothing that bad or anything, just childish bullshit.
We made up last night but I was wondering how long it takes to get that feeling of lovey dovey back 100%. I would say I'm back at like 80% or so. BTW, the argument lasted a couple of days and we just made up last night. We have never really had a 'fight' before so it is kind of new ground.
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SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: [21F] College Drop-Out, what next?
POST: So, as the title suggests, I am at a crossroads in my life and I would really appreciate some insight.
For two years I went to a local FL college in order to complete my prerequisites and apply to a program that I unfortunately was not accepted into. After the blow from that, I failed a semester due to complete lack of motivation. I was also dealing with some personal heartbreak at this time; I had no idea what to do next and was dealing with my depression worsening. My GPA took a blow, but it is still within the 3.0 range. The only positive is that my scholarships covered my tuition, and I accrued no debt during this time.
I did not apply for another semester, I moved out of the dorms, and started living in an apartment while working full-time to support myself. I really enjoy my job, and I make above minimum wage, but my monthly income is not enough to support myself and sustain adequate savings.
Unfortunately, my roommate situation did not work out (read: my SO and I did not work out, more ouch) and living in the apartment became out of my means, so I had to move back home. I am now working my full-time job as well as a part-time job to build up some kind of a savings and distract myself from what feels like a downward spiral. With the direction I'm going I feel unfulfilled, and quite honestly like a failure.
I want to go back to college, I am interested in an engineering program that this college offers and it's a field I believe I would enjoy, but I am so afraid of crashing and burning again. I want more than anything to be able to support myself, but I am so confused as to whether I am doing the right thing.
Another option, since I basically hate my life here, is to do what I've been dreaming of--I want to move out to Colorado where my sister lives, because I feel like being in a new place would really improve my quality of life and make me feel like not such an asshole for forever circling the drain in my hometown, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to do this, and I know tuition there would be staggering as an out-of-state student.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Found a lost laptop, but can't find the owner. Reddit, what should I, or could I, do with it?
POST: First off, NO it was not stolen. A friend of mine works for an airline at the regional airport in my city. A few months ago, while cleaning out the passenger cabin after it had landed, he found a HP Mini in the back of one of the seats. This plane was also coming from a major hub for the airline, so the passengers were from all across the country. He gave it to the lost and found, nobody claimed it for the standard period plus a few days, so he was free to take it home. He tried to get into it, and being not-so-tech-saavy, let me take a look at it to see if we could find the owner. The username didn't give us any clues, there was nothing else besides the Mini itself in the case, not even a charger. Using a visiting friend's charger, I've tried various ways to get into the system, and could not find any information for it's owner. I've even attempted to find the owner via S/N and through HP Support, nothing. So, after a few months of trying to find the owner, and my friend going back home, I now have a homeless HP Mini with a dead battery. What could I, or should I, do with it? Get another charger and keep on trying? Wipe it? Sell it?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 F] with my best friend [17 F] nearly my whole life, and I want to try to engage in a relationship possibly.
POST: I'm going to try to keep this nice and short.
There's this girl I like. And I've known her for a while, so we're like besties and everything. And I want to ask her out.
And that's something that everyone's been dealing with for a while, but there's this HUGE brick wall in my way: I don't know if she likes girls that way.
And we both go to the same school, and it's a Christian school, and I know most Christians tend to not take kindly to anything but heterosexuality. So I feel like my chances are super slim.
Plus, what if she's a super homophobe or something and makes fun of me and tells everyone? Then I'd have no friends and EVERYONE will know. My life would end.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: some random guy hit his puppy hard
POST: This morning I went to the park down the road from my house to let my 10 month old dog get his exercise chase the frisbee and what not. After about ten minutes some guy pulls up and is waiting but I can hear his dog in the car so I go over start talking ask if he wants to let them play together and he lets him out of the car. The dog was a very small pitbull who played a little aggressively with my dog but that was ok. After a couple minutes though I went to break them up because they started biting each other. I told my dog to be nice and he went over to his dog and smacked him in the face really hard. Not I'm not for this but I don't know what to do every time the guy went near this dog it flinched back and coward towards the ground in fear. Me and the girlfriend were gonna ask to buy it off him and find it a nice home so it doesn't get super abused and from the way the dog was acting it seemed like a regular thing but I don't know what to do. any suggestions?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [40M] with [31f] married >10 years, weird situation
POST: Me - typical INTJ. Type A, etc. Terrible boss, I admit my own flaws...can be controlling, but also faithful to a fault, love spouse beyond words. We had fight, l left (i shut down in emotional arguments), we still talk, tried to offer counsling, therapy etc - work on interpersonal relationship.
Her - seriously introverted, highly emotional - Im sure she still loves me, wants me to see other women, doesnt want to live with me any more (after 10+ years, probably wants own way). Admits life is bleak without my 'insanity', suffers from depression, was thrilled when i admitted i had a date (she was relieved).
Us - emotionally she trumps me, intellectually i trump her- my friends are lawyers, doctors and scientists. I 'get off' on deep debate, which to her is like nails on a chalkboard. ran business together, which thrived, but im a terrible boss - i think she resents me. we closed business (major tramatic situation).
I think we have evolved into 2 very different people.
She is very happy to remain married, but single? Wants me to go out and meet new women, and she wants to also go out and meet new women.
wtf? Im very confused.
What do I do? Has anyone ever experienced this before?
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Claiming rights to creative property after departure from a band?
POST: Hi there!
Up until this past Saturday, I was the drummer for a semi serious metal band based in Guelph ON, Canada. They have recently decided that due to personality differences, I no longer have a place in that band, which is fine. During my time in this band though, I had personally created backing tracks to play with in a live setting to include musical parts not playable by the band's five piece lineup (I.E. orchestrations and sound effects set to a metronome I could drum along with). We're not registered through SOCAN or anything of the sort as all of our music has been recorded and distributed independently. Am I in the right to tell them that they may not continue to use the tracks I had created if the original compositions are not mine? I feel like a bit of a dickhead doing so but as a musician trying to make a living I feel I will have been used if they continue to utilize those tracks to play live without some sort of compensation for my work. Please help a young musician gain some knowledge about intellectual property. Thank you.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm[22F] in love with my roommate [24M] and it really bothers me when he brings girls home.
POST: I've been rooming with this guy for a little more than a year. He's definitely one of the chillest guys I've ever met. He's really smart, sweet, and funny. I really hate it when he brings random girls home to fuck but I can't ask him to stop without revealing how I feel about him. Does anyone know of a way I can show him I care about him in a romantic way without risking our current relationship? He already asked me if it was ok if he brought girls back to our place and I said yes (stupidly). I'm afraid if he'll try to find a new place if he has to change his lifestyle but I really enjoy living with him.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would you be weirded out to hear "I love you" via text/Skype/phone/Facetime for the first time? I'm 27m she is 25f
POST: I'm currently in a long distance relationship until October, but every day that goes by, I care about her more. I'm about 80% sure she'd say it back to me. I just don't know if I can wait. I bought us airfare for a getaway to Hawaii over Labor Day (I am in Japan and she is in the US, so it is halfway). But even at that, I'd have to wait until the end of August to tell her.
I don't know if it is even a big deal for other people, but to me it is. I love her and I want her to know how I feel. It just feels so impersonal to do it via text/skype/call/Facetime.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How should I [26M] approach my sister[18] which is in puberty. Having really hard time communicating with her
POST: Hello,
I could really use some advice Reddit. I have younger sister which is in that specific period of her life where she thinks she's smartest kid in the world, that she can do all by her self and doesn't appreciate anyone's good deed. She'll do anything to get what she wants and after that she forgets on all stuff that we did for her.
Now I'm really sorry for my parents because (normally) they will do anything for theirs kid but since she is female, she is not doing any housework, she is lousy in school.
I've tried to talk with her many times, and when I talk to her she understands everything and she agrees that she needs to change and needs to help to mother and improve herself in school but I think as soon as she goes out she forgets almost everything that I've been talking to her.
One more thing which I'm worried about is that she doesn't have some crew she hangs out constantly like I did, someone who knows my parents and Vice Versa.
We are now in a fight and we don't talk because she told me that I ruined her birthday part since I wouldn't let her out because she came home at 3 a.m (plus she doesn't want to answer her phone, and that's usual stuff) and she went to excursion I didn't want to say goodbye to her.My father told me that she cried in a car because I act like so.
I really would like to improve our relationship but I can not tolerate that kind of behavior. I think, because I'm older and mature person, I need to do something but I would like her to learn lesson and be more responsible but in other hand I am afraid of loosing her, since I know better myself and the fact that I will not let her act as she want.
Thank you
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I want to help my brother, how do I make money at age 12?
POST: Technically he is my half brother, but his dad left him at a very young age, at which point when my mom (his too) and my dad got together he adopted my brother. They had a huge fight a couple years back and haven't talked since. I am about to get the new 3DS from my dad and have been talking about it non-stop. My mom later pointed out to me that it was uncool, (i didnt notice, i was just really excited) because he didn't get stuff from my dad anymore and his DS had broken down a couple of days ago. I felt really bad, and i wanted to help get him a DS. He's got a job but is going to college soon so he has to be very frugal with his money. So the real question is, if I'm a 12 year old in Ohio, how do i make money?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, my dad is paranoid about me getting viruses with everything I do. What bothers you most about your parents?
POST: Alright, so here's the story. I had downloaded BitTorrent earlier, and my dad started complaining "blahblahblah you get nothing but viruses from that blahblahblah". I just said "It's my computer, I can do what I want, and I'm careful enough not to get viruses all the time. Besides, what do you prefer, when I use BitTorrent or when I ask you to buy me a $699 program?"
Then a couple of months later, I just get out of the shower and see my dad sitting at my pc (he needed to search something on le interwebs), and then he notices Spotify running. Again, same story, complaining how I'll get viruses and wondering what this program even does. I say it's for music. "blahblahblah you could just use youtube".
It annoys me as hell the fact that he always checks which programs I have installed and complains how I'll get viruses.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Advice needed: turning down playdates tactfully
POST: Bobby, a kid in my son's kindergarten class, seemed to be a good friend of my son's. But in the last couple of months, he has become bossy, controlling, and downright mean to my son.
Bobby and my son have done numerous playdates at each other's house throughout the school year, and during these playdates I've developed a friendship with Bobby's mom.
Bobby's mom is very outgoing and frequently invites us to do things together, like playdates and sports. But honestly, from what I've witnessed of Bobby's interaction with my son, I feel like my son should get some distance from Bobby. Bobby's constantly putting my son down, lying about him, and trying to get him in trouble. I hate to say it, but Bobby's quite an asshole.
The last couple of times Bobby's mother invited us to do something with them, I turned her down with fake excuses. But I've decided that my son's self esteem is too important, and I no longer want my son hanging out with someone like Bobby. The playdates will have to come to an end.
I am torn between how I should get the point across to Bobby's mom. Should I continue evading her invitations and making up excuses or just tell her the truth about how I don't like the interaction between our sons?
Have any of you been in this kind of situation? If so, how did or would you handle it?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/F] can't stop feeling bad that my BF [25 M/F] of 1 year hangs out with his ex-girlfriend. I realize this is unhealthy for me. How can I get over it?
POST: Basically, I (25/f) have been in a great relationship with my bf (25/m) for over a year. Recently, he and an ex-girlfriend got in touch. Last week, he took a personal week off of work and went to his home state for vacation (where she lives), and naturally, they hung out together to catch up and such.
He's honest with me about it, he knows it makes me feel bad and made sure to carefully tell me about it. He wants to maintain a friendship with this ex, whom he's known for many years. He assured me there's nothing to worry about. I really respect that, and I don't want to do or say anything that makes him feel guilty (because he shouldn't!).
However, I just can't get over it! It bothers me and I don't know how to make it go away. I think about them hanging out, having drinks, laughing together, sharing moments. Even though it's all friendly, it still makes me feel really sad. She and I are very different, and I knew her a little bit in school (we all went to college together), but I never hung out with her because we just didn't click. I know he values her friendship and I respect that. However, now I find myself acting distant from him because I feel bad and don't feel like hanging out with him now, because I somehow feel like he's hurt me - even though he didn't do anything! He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I don't want to be the unreasonable girlfriend who makes her bf feel weirdly guilty even though he's done nothing wrong. I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to control him. He can have healthy friendships with anyone he wants. I just want this upset feeling in ME to go away so I can be normal again!
If you have any advice on how to get over something like this fast, please share it!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (25F) trying pot for the first time with my husband (24M) of 10 months and I don't like how excited he is about it.
POST: I feel really awful for feeling this. I've never smoked anything and I've never had marijuana in my system before. He used to smoke with his friends right after he graduated from high school and hasn't done it in a while. He's been wanting to do this with me since we started dating and lately he's gotten more excited about doing it with me.
Last night he told me he wanted to get high with me after work tonight. We live with his parents and they're out of town for a few days so he thought this would be the perfect time. He bought a couple grams and since I have asthma, he suggested we make brownies and then he proceeded to get all of the stuff ready last night and finished this morning.
I'm really really nervous about this. Marijauna is the only drug I've ever considered doing but I've never done anything before. I feel a little bit pressured into it right now because of how excited he is about it and I'm considering not trying it yet. I'm scared or nervous, I can't tell which. I still want to do it with him but I'm not sure if I want to do it today. I thought I'd be more into this than I am. I really want to talk to him but I don't want to crush his spirit either. His parents don't go out of town much so we wouldn't get another opportunity for a while. (They would be furious if they found out we were even interested in using marijuana even though it's legal where we live.)
How can I bring this up to him or should I bring it up at all?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend[22] and I [22] are in an open relationship and he broke a rule, how should I catch him and the other girl[23 and engaged] in the lie?
POST: My boyfriend[22] and I[22] have been together for two years. We've recently opened our relationship and after taking some time to adjust I've become quite comfortable with it.
He met a girl at his work who is 23, engaged and also open. They slept together earlier this week on the same day my boyfriend and I had a huge fight and I ended things. Before anyone answers with "Well you two were broken up so everything is fair game" I feel I should mention that whenever we fight it ends in a breakup that neither of us takes seriously.
After they slept together, I was more comfortable with the track our relationship was on. I consider myself friends with the woman he slept with and she's prided herself on being an honest person so I took her word for it when she said that they had used a condom.
Tonight I went to log onto facebook and my boyfriend was still logged in. His conversation with this other woman had been left open and displayed a message that made it quite clear to me that they had not used protection. When we agreed to be open my boyfriend and I had made a 'no condom, no sex' rule and I am extremely bothered by the fact that he broke this rule.
I've considered just flat out telling him that I know what he did, but in the past he did something less than honorable, but not so serious and I found out in the same way. The fact that he'd overstepped a boundary was shadowed by the fact that I saw it on his facebook.
My question for you Reddit, is this: how should I confront him about this without bringing up where I found out? I've considered asking her if they used one of our condoms because we're short (we don't use condoms), but this could backfire.
I should also add that due to my boyfriend being an avid Redditor, I will be deleting this post in a couple of hours.
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SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Website security monitors, is there a good reason a user would need to fill out the same form multiple times in an attempt to recover a "potentially compromised" user account?
POST: I received a sudden email from Skype a month or two ago saying my account had been suspended due to it bring "possibly comprised". I was not directed as to what steps to take so I looked it up and filled out their online form requesting my account to be reactivated. This form asks very specific questions about the details of the account, to which I'm confident I answered more than half correctly including the credit card number.
I received an email response stating that security is paramount and that they would like me to fill out the form a second time. Over the course the next two weeks I sent the replies by email asking why, to which I received no reply.
I finally got around to filling out the form a second time on Monday this week. The automated program prevention system (captcha) failed me over 20 times and I was never able to submit. I took screenshots of the filled-out boxes and sent another email reply to Skype informing them of the situation and notifying them I had filled it out a second time.
I received an email response asking me to fill out the form (same questions) a third time. That was yesterday. I filled it out quickly and got a response today by email asking me to fill out the form a fourth time. I filled it out again.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(F20) younger brother(17) has been acting out and been irresponsible to the point where it's really depressing my mother. What could I do to steer him in the right direction again?
POST: He's a senior in high school and I dorm so I'm not at home most of the time. Basically he's become quite rude and aggressive in his behavior towards my parents. He also does not respect their wishes. They give him everything, car, gas, money etc. He'll be out all night, or disappear for a few days at a time, without telling anyone. He doesn't do anything around the house to help out nor does he have a job. He had a good paying job (under the table) but he quit that so he could have fun (It's fine he's a kid but he takes on no responsibility). He spends important family holidays (Thanksgiving) with his friends rather than us. He bought his friends mom a mother's day present but does nothing for our own mom. He's barely graduating and doesn't care about applying to colleges or his SATs. On top of that he refuses to see what's wrong with his behavior. He doesn't often open up to me but he told me he used to cut because he felt like our parents weren't proud of him and compared him to more successful kids.
I know I'm not his mom but this has really been stressing my parents out and they work day and night to make ends meet. I recognize we're different people and I respect that. What can I do to positively influence him and help see what he's doing wrong and how it affects the people around him?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] want to be closer with a shy virgin [23F]. Any tips?
POST: Throwaway acc just in case.
So, I've never had any problems with girls. Got through both long-lasting relationships and one night stands. I didn't think I'd need your help, Reddit, but I am a bit puzzled and would like an advice. Perhaps especially from the female population of r/relationships :)
**The situation**: So I got to know this girl, which is a virgin (known fact, not a rumor). The girl is gorgeous and I'm saying this having seen a lot of pretty girls here and there. Somehow though she has eluded the sexual activity, even more - she even hasn't ever been into a relationship or kissed. She's quite fun also, a bit on the shy side, doesn't go out a lot, studies and works and stays at home. She has many mutual interests with me - asian culture, tattoos, certain authors and others. She seems to like guys with beards and tattoos which I am too, heh. Not that it matters much I think. (You know we tend to like people who are the opposite to what we think we would like!)
Anyway, she's getting hit on a lot because of both her looks and cool personality. I've seen some guys crash into her during parties, but as you can guess, drunken advances are not the kind of hit on a shy virgin girl would respond to. Besides I'm not in for a make-out or a one-night stand, but would rather dwell in a relationship with her.
So, any advices how to advance on her without scaring her? Virginity on this age is looked upon as a bit strange here (I don't care tbh) and there may be some fear or anxiety in her regarding that. She has some provocative tattoos and doesn't mind showing them but with the communication towards people there's nothing provocative about her.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How did your parents mess with your childhood ignorance?
POST: When I was about 8 or 9, I fell in love with pigs. I thought they were the absolute cutest things in the world. So, in my 9 year-old mind, the best way to show my love for them was to stop eating pork. I stopped eating all bacon and pork chops that my mom made for dinner. Unfortunately, my mom made me ham sandwiches for lunch most days, and since she didn't want to figure out a new lunchtime routine for me, she made sure that no one in my family told me that ham came from pigs. Needless to say, I was quite upset when i found out what ham really was. She also told me recently that my family all laughed about it...
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I feel like I should do something, but I know it would probably be a moot point.
POST: I (18 next week,male), met her(18,female), in law class, where we kind of hit off, we talked a lot in class and online, and eventually went to a hockey game together (I'm Canadain, what else?). Long story short her and a friend of hers end up switching seats, so he is sitting beside me, and she's behind me. This was the weekend before March break(usually a week before the American spring break, if anyone cares), and I was going on vacation, so this was the last time we spoke for about a week. I brought her back a gift from where I was, then we kind of fell apart, and she started ignoring me.
Thats my side of the story, and its pretty much a summary of what occured, to the best of my knowledge. What would be my next step, if there is one?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (28f/30m) Do I tell my ex what day our daughter's stepping up day is?
POST: We were together for five years. I recently left him because he became less and less involved in my and my daughter's lives. He has become a heartless prick and the last straw was when he stood up our daughter on her birthday. When I asked him what the problem was he would completely ignore me, as if I didn't even exist. I am heartbroken and utterly devastated because I have no closure. Just a million questions as to why he has just given up on us and is willing to throw it all away so easily. Unless I find out why, I will resent him for this for the rest of my life.
Our daughter will be "graduating" from kindergarten next month and I'm not sure if I should even tell him when it is. I'm 99.9999% sure he won't show up anyway and I have already told our daughter that he probably isn't coming. He won't even call. I'm afraid if I tell him, he will just think I'm trying to open up the lines of communication again, and that's really not what I'm trying to do. I gave him a million chances to be open and honest about what's going on and he's chosen not to take me up on it. There will be no million and one'th chance. But the other half of me is worried that if I don't tell him, and he finds out that I didn't try to let him know, that he will somehow try and turn it around on me and guilt me into feeling like I'm a bad person, because that is his MO. He's a real asshole but I want him there for our child's stepping up day. She's really excited and will be very upset if he doesn't show up even after I've told her he probably won't be there. We can sit on opposite sides of the room for all I care. He just needs to do the right thing by our girl.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Teaching Abroad, Thoughts? Experiences?
POST: Hey guys i'm not sure about this plan for my life and i'm praying about it a lot but I wanted to ask you guys what you thought.
I'm thinking about getting a TESL Certification, or a TESEL or whatever you call it.
I want to travel the world but I have no money, this seems like a cheap way to do what I want and earn some money while i'm at it.
Anyway my general questions are...
Have any of you done it?
What's the best kind of certification to get? And from where should I get it?
What countries have you been to? Are they safe?
Can you earn a lot of money by doing this?
Where do you stay when you go to another country? Do you have to find a place yourself?
What kind of programs would you recommend I should be a part of?
Anyway that's all I can think of for now. I would really appreciate some input here, I have no idea what i'm doing with my life and I want to know more about this field of work.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to mend a broken heart in 43 days?
POST: x-post r/BreakUps
Met an amazing guy while volunteering in Asia last January 2011. I'm a 22 y/o American and he is a 21 y/o Aussie. After leaving Asia, we both went to our respective countries but kept in touch and grew so close together and eventually fell in love. I graduated in May and came here (Melbourne AUS) for an internship but more to be with him.
I am one of those girls that will do anything for the people I care about - friends, family, boyfriend. I love people carefully, but when I do, I love them unconditionally. He is one of those guys that every girl wants to date but no one believes exists. Not a jealous bone in his body, incapable of being mean or selfish, and the most gentle and loving soul you will encounter.
He just broke up with me meh 10 hours ago. He was meant to come home (USA) with me in December for Christmas to meet my family. When I asked him about it again just two days ago, he really freaked at the thought of meeting my family (though I lived with his for 2 months), thought it was too much to invest emotionally and decided that he can't 'give me what I deserve'. So yep, its over and I am now residing in a country where the number of people I know I can count on half of one hand.
Reddit, I'm searching for 43 ways to mend my broken heart over the next 43 days - until I go home (alone) for Christmas and am back with my family and closest friends. What would you do? What do you suggest? I have never felt so alone or scared in my life, and it doesn't help being away from everyone I know. I just want each day to have a purpose, to help me get through the next 6 weeks without him.
Anything, Reddit. Really, anything helps.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] don't know if I should restart my friendship to someone [20F] I confessed my feelings to.
POST: Hello /r/relationships,
I am long time lurker that is asking for some help on deciding if I should start a friendship again to a girl that I confessed my feelings to (as the title stated). My friends have been 50/50 about this, and now I want to ask /r/relationships for their opinion on the matter.
I'll try to keep it short as possible
I made friends with a girl at the university. It started with her messaging me for help on homework and evolved to hanging out on our free time. I enjoyed spending time with her, and I honestly thought that it was going to end after the semester (but I'm glad that it didn't).
We had been friends for around ~2 months, and that is when I started to develop feelings for her. She's a pretty girl, but I had no intention of dating her or to be my girlfriend (she is in a relationship with a guy). It was cool going to the mall, watch a movie, or go eat lunch. But as I started liking her, hanging out with her made me feel miserable.
I was miserable enough that I summed up the courage to tell her one day that I did not want to be friends with her because I liked her. I felt that it was unfair for us to have a friendship where I had feelings for her and that she has a boyfriend. She looked sad when I told her. She told me that if I wanted to be friends again that I could contact her.
After the confession, I felt like a weight was lifted and felt glad that I was able to tell her. It's been around two weeks since that day and I miss hanging out with her. I never had a problem with the friendship, just me having feelings with her.
I have asked my friends for help on making a decision. During these two weeks the puppy love-like feelings I had are gone, and I want to take her offer on re-establishing our friendship. It's been a 50/50 mix of "Do it" or "Don't do it because you'll fall back".
I know it might not the same, but I want to give it a try.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm confused and in need of advice. I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend.
POST: Hey reddit! So I need some advice. I've been with this amazing guy for about a year and a half now. He's 20 and I'm 19. We're both virgins.
A couple nights ago we were getting intimate in my bedroom. Our sessions usually include oral sex, fingering, and everything that isn't vaginal intercourse. Anyway, things were heavy and we hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks. He turned to me and said that he wanted to "go all the way this time". I mentioned how we didn't have any protection. He suggested that we go out and get something. I began to say that I didn't think it was a good idea, I told him that I was afraid that he'd lose interest in me and leave. He said he understood and that there was no pressure.
He said that he loved what we already did and that I he's not going anywhere. I may have changed my mind in that instant if what he said next didn't leave me with doubts on how ready he was. I asked him why he wanted to have sex and one of his reasons were because he feels bad about ejaculating in my mouth. Also, he thinks that sex would be no different then what we do now besides the sensation. He doesn't see the difference.
Is there a difference? I want to have sex with him but I'm also just worried that he'll leave me. Any advice or thoughts guys?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF[28 F] 2-3 months, I'm just curious, am I being too clingy?
POST: Hello r/relationships!
I guess I am relatively new to this relationship and this is my first relationship after all. Also it feels weird being the one asking the question after giving my input to other people's relationship problems!
I just have a quick question whether if I am being too clingy or not. I really would prefer NOT to be the clingy type as I know that this makes your girlfriend start to dislike you.
She and I are both students, I am currently enrolled in 3rd year of the PharmD program while she is in track for graduating with her masters in Biotech.
Lately she has been busy with her masters paper that so we rarely have been seeing one another for about 3-4 weeks. We used to spend 2-4 days every week but due to her paper we are lucky to have 1-2 days to spend together every 2 week or so. However, I do get to see her for 5-10 minutes 2-3 times a week, as I drop by in the library to say hi, or occasionally drop off a warm breakfast for her as she forgets to eat in the morning.
In order to make up for the inability to hang out, I text her everyday saying good morning and good night. These good morning or good night texts are just strictly saying something around the grounds of "Good morning, I hope you have a good day!" or "Good Night, hope you had a good day" or something around that ground.
She rarely responds to these texts, but I've been wondering if these texts in the morning or night may seem too excessively clingy. This relationship things are relatively new to me and I wish if you all could give me a honest response if I am being too clingy.
If I am, I will probably going to cut down on these texts.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf (18) doesn't want to have sex
POST: GF: 18
Me: 19
Duration of relationship: 8 months
Okay so I don't really know where to start. My GF refuses to have sex, when I asked her why she said she doesn't know why and then somehow we always start arguing and it ends with her crying and me being frustrated. She always tells me how much she loves me and I do REALLY love her the whole situation is just so damn frustrating for me (I could imagine that it really is frustrating for her aswell but I'm not sure since she seems to be able to be happy without sex). When we make out and I go down on her (which she really enjoys) she shows no interest in doing something like this to me ( I don't suggest it to her in those moments since I do not want to edge her). I don't know what I should do because I really love this girl and do not want to break up with her but for me sex is just a part of a relationship.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: SO[24F] of 2 years always stops [24M]e before she can orgasm. What do I do?
POST: My long distance GF and I have been having sex for about a year now. She lives about 4 hours away and we see each other once or twice a month for a weekend.
Whenever we get into doing anything physical, whether i'm giving her oral or vaginal, once she gets worked up enough she pushes herself off/away from me.
I know(at least i'm fairly certain) that she enjoys it, but it seems as if the pleasure is too much for her. She gets really out of breath and her feet/legs go numb/shake a little. When she is very out of breath it seems she reflexively pushes away from me.
She has never had an orgasm in her life, never watched porn. She refuses to masturbate.
I don't know what to think. Is it something in her head? Is there something physically wrong with her?
I always end up getting off, and that's great and all, but it gets old when its always a one way thing. I Don't want to stop enjoying the intimacy because she wont let me take her all the way. Does anyone have any advice for this situation?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After not talking for over a year, my ex [27f] sends me an e-mail. How should I respond?
POST: I'm a 29m. To make a long story short, we were in a serious relationship for 4+yrs, not including the long-distance relationship. All hell broke loose, and I moved back home. The break-up dragged on, but I didn't know it was happening at the time. I haven't seen her in two years and I haven't spoken to her in over a year.
She sent me an e-mail yesterday. I was very hesitant to check my e-mail because I couldn't believe that she e-mailed me, as I woke up and was somewhat disoriented when I checked my e-mail.
The message was pretty much only one sentence; she asked if I had been text messaging her recently. The answer is no. The break-up and relationship took a huge toll on me, but I'd like to say that I've moved on, even though I'm haunted by the history of it all, which is just another long story.
Here's my conclusion:
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SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Help Us Reddit, You're Our Only Hope! (xposted)
POST: Well, not really. I'm not even that big of a Star Wars fan. It just seemed like a good opportunity to use that line. Here's the situation:
My fiancee and I are both social workers in our mid-30's and have decided to jump the broom. We are planning a very nontraditional wedding, and want to focus on celebrating in a way that is most meaningful to the people involved. We will get legally married at San Francisco City Hall with just our immediate families on Friday, 11/11/11, and then plan to have a casual celebration for our larger group of friends the next day. This will be not as formal as most receptions, but more towards the house party side of things. We are aiming for an event that is casual and fun, yet tasteful.
Our idea is that we get a place for the long weekend. We'll have family-oriented people (i.e. families with kids) drop by during the day, and then continue on with the celebration into the night with our adult friends. In our most ideal visualization, the place will have (listed in order of priority):
- a location within an hours drive of San Francisco
- enough indoor space for a bunch (best guess 100+ ?) of people to have fun in
- a nice looking tree, as we will create some sort of celebration ritual
- a decent kitchen
- a hot tub
- a nice view
- a garden
We have started the process of sourcing a place (mostly using VRBO.com and craigslist), and I also thought that reddit may be a good resource, given that I've seen this community do so much! If you have any suggestions or personally know of any houses/places that we could use, please let me know! If helpful, I can PM you our budget range (we are financing the wedding ourselves).
Thank you in advance Reddit! I promise to be a GGG partner (in both the reddit meme way and the Dan Savage way) and not turn my sweety into Redditors Wife!
Have a great week Reddit!!!
M
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] 1-month, my girlfriend has bpd.
POST: Hello Reddit, So when I decided to start dating this one girl she warned me that she has borderline personality disorder.
Well at first I thought what the hell it cant be that bad , but the more recently we spoke more about it and to be honest I'm kinda scared.
She told me that she could start doing everything she can in order to hurt me emotionally, or even physically. But it will not be her , it will be someone else, but they will know everything she knows.
At that point I was already freaking out because of an abusive past with my mother all of it sounded very similar, and I've started to think to myself. Why should I stand back up if I already have been shot? (hope that makes sense)
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] recently broke up with my boyfriend [22M] of 2 years. Need help finding new acquaintances and having more fun in school.
POST: I [21M] recently broke up with my boyfriend [22M] of 2 years around 4 months ago. I'm having a difficult time, not because of being single per say, but because my two best friends go to college 2 hours away, and most of my other friends are better friends with my ex so they are kind of tipping me out.
I've done grindr and tinder, and none of them have really led anywhere. I don't like to have sex with random people, I'd rather just get drunk or make out or whatever.
Now that I'm back in school, what would you guys suggest for finding new friends, and maybe on down the road, a new boyfriend? Any advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [50 M] biological dad wants to meet up with me [18 M]
POST: Hey reddit !
*Sorry for any grammatical mistakes I may commit , I'm typing this on my phone and English is not my mother tongue !*
So recently my biological dad showed interest in meeting me and talking to me after 6+ years of not coming to see me nor calling me at all !
My mum's all up for me meeting him saying that he is my father after all and I should at least talk to him.
Needless to say that I don't feel any sort of connection between me and that man as my step father was the one who I deem as my dad since he really took care of me since I was really young ( my biological dad divorced my mum when she got pregnant with me , so she had to struggle to feed me and raise me and seeing that I hail from a quasi-ish 3rd world country , she didn't get much rights and the court didn't sentence my biological father to assist her in any sort of way in raising me ).
Recently I moved away from my home country to study electrical engineering abroad , since that my biological father tried to contact me in many ways and I didn't give in , I never replied to any of his calls nor his messages on facebook etc... why is this sudden interest in me when he didn't contact me for like 6+ years ! I honestly don't know what to do , I'd rather not have any contact with him , but my mum's and even my stepfather keeps on telling me to go on and have a chat with him.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Have I [17/m] done something wrong?..
POST: So I was just on the phone to my GF [17/f] and I told her that I hate being on the phone. I have already told her this previously and have emphasised that it isn't just with her it's with EVERYBODY that I know, I even hate being on the phone to my parents due to the fact that it causes me to have to stop whatever I'm doing for however long and basically makes me procrastinate even more than I already do.
I told her that I'm fine when talking to her because I love her but I hate it when I have to force a conversation, which is what happens most of the time, for example *nokia ringtone* 'Hey babe what's up?' 'Oh, nothing'... This makes me feel as though I have to reply with something to start a conversation otherwise I feel stupid.
Now when I told her I hate this she goes on about me being a bad boyfriend, am I really a bad boyfriend? I feel pretty shitty now to be honest as I feel I've let her down, any advice would be awesome RA.
Thankyou.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my ex [22M] of 4 months after 3 years, send me a mean text out of the blue and i dont know how to handle it
POST: My ex and I broke up in January after about 3.5 years or so of dating (it was pretty serious). I've since moved across the country since I graduated in December, and he graduates in May. We haven't spoken in about 2 months, but when we did it was short and pleasant.
I've been moving on pretty well--surprisingly well--and hadn't talked about him with anyone for a while. I told him when we broke up that I thought at least a year of no contact would be best, and then maybe we would try being friends (I've since wondered whether that's something I actually want, but that's another story).
I woke up this morning to a text saying "Are you kidding me? You're so shallow its embarassing." I responded "What?" and he replied "You're unbelievable, I'm embarrassed for you." I called him twice and texted back that I had no idea what he was talking about and didn't understand why he was texting me when we hadn't been in contact for months.
It's been 5 hours now, and he hasn't responded or returned my calls. A mutual friend went to the gym with him and tried to get an answer but was shut down.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I have no clue what I did (if anything), so I'd like to know what's going on. I don't want to be in contact, but I also don't want him thinking I'm a shitty person either. I think of him fondly, but as a memory and with a few bad associations (he tried to hook up with a close friend after we broke up, and I found 2 dating profiles he had used while we were still dating).
Still, I want to clear this up. It's weighing on my mind. And I don't want him on my mind.
Any advice is really appreciated.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] with my ex boyfriend [22 F] spent 2 years together, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he left, wants me back.
POST: I moved about 2 hours away to the city where he lives half because of him (lets call him Tim), half because of an amazing job/schooling opportunity. I am not going to say things were great. When I moved there I was on my own, got a cat, and was totally ignored due to a video game addiction on Tim's part.
I had a brief but serious encounter of psychosis due to extremely high stress which led to my diagnosis. I entered an intensive outpatient therapy program in my original city to develop coping skills and such so things like that don't happen again. 3 days in Tim decided it would be a good time to decide he had enough.
I started dating again about a month after the program ended and I felt I could handle it dated a guy for a month(whole other post, dude was crazy) and Tim found out about it, he did NOT like it at all. Well I found out dude was crazy and ended that and started talking to Tim again after I realized that I still had serious feelings for him and serious feelings for me.
We are not back together but I suppose I wanted some advice to see if I should cut my loses after I moved near him and he abandoned me and again abandoned me when I was in therapy or give it another shot and see what comes of it.
He speaks to me about how much he fucked up and how his video game addiction has approved tremendously (his mother confirmed this to me). He even talks about the future, which we never spoke of when we were together. I am now still in therapy, medicated, and doing much better but I don't feel like I am entirely ready to jump back in the relationship.
What do I do reddit?
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Help me with adulting! Trying to allocate my money in the smartest way between 401k, IRA, and brokerage accounts...
POST: Hello personal finance! I'll try to make this short as possible...
I'm 24 and have a job which gives me around $70k/year with very good 6 month raises factored in my contract. I am very happy and plan on staying here for a long time (as long as they have me!). I have one car loan which I'm slowly paying off ($10k left @ ~2.4% APR), but that's the only debt I have. Here's what I'm doing with my money:
- Vanguard 401K - my company doesn't match :(. I'm currently contributing 6% of my income (3% pre-tax, 3% roth).
- I have about 6 months of expenses saved into my savings account for emergencies.
- I have a brokerage account (mostly invested in mutual funds) that I haven't done much with.
I'm starting to accumulate more excessive money in my savings account (more than the 6 month emergency fund). My original plan was to put any excess money into my brokerage account, but after reading this WIKI I was thinking about maybe opening up a ROTH IRA and maxing it out for the year, and THEN putting the rest into my brokerage account?
This seems like a lot of accounts to have (401K, Roth IRA, AND brokerage account), but I wanted to double-check that this is a good idea?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by celebrating my bday
POST: The 21st January 2015 was birthday. I went out that night and met some of my close friends. We did nothing special since it was in the middle of the week, so not a good day to party. I decided to arrange something for the 23th, so i bought a bunch of booze and went out with friends to get insanely drunk. The plan worked perfectly: by 1 o' clock i was so drunk i could barely stand. When we called the night a friend of mine gently walked me to my place, despite being pretty drunk himself. As soon as i got out of the elevator i puked my soul on the stairs. Once i got home, my friend left me and i went to the bathroom, so that i wouldn't damage the wood pavements we have in the rest of the house. I woke up god only knows when having suddenly blacked out: i didn't know where i was or how the fuck i got there, and the complete darkness of the bathroom did not help; so i panicked and puked more. When i got a hold of myself again i washed my mouth and went to bed.
The morning after a raging hangover welcomes me and i find out that i managed to puke on the carpet outside the shower, pretty much the only thing hard to clean in the whole bathroom.
So i had to clean the stairwell without even being able to drink a glass of water because whatever i put in my stomach was violently expelled minutes after.
But it ain't over: when the civil war between my bowels ended, i found out that my mom washed my jacket... with the weed i had in a pocket
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I (M18) have feelings for my best friend (F21)?
POST: I broke up with my ex last summer and soon after befriended a senior girl at my university. We ve spent countless hours at the library together, including many all nighters.
Lately our hangouts have become more touchy and flirty. Being around her makes me so happy and I feel at ease with her. Im so scared of breaking the friendship I have that I find myself doubting the "feelings" I have for her.
I have creeping doubts that its my loneliness thats making me like her. Since I I recently broke up with my ex. It is making me hesitate in confessing my feelings for her. Now I feel like we re in an awkward state where shes waiting for me to make a move.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can you guys make any sense or relate these three sentences together?
POST: -Dopamine -Grey Quote -On the edge
The story behind this is that in the early hours of this morning I woke up from an amazing dream with a brilliant plot that I, at the time, felt could be made into a story or possibly a film (I'm a budding writer in the process of drafting out a script). I remember the great feeling of waking up with this amazing plot so I, in my tired state, grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down and circled it (of course to emphasize the grandness of the dream to future me). I almost immediately fell back to sleep. This morning I woke up and remembered having this incredible dream but couldn't remember it. But ahaa! I wrote it down didn't I? I am so clever. Well, to my delight, I found I had only written down these three things ('Dopamine', 'Grey Quote' and 'On the edge'). I can't for the life of me remember what the dream was and only have these three statements left of it. What stories or ideas can you think of based off these? Do they relate at all?
The piece of paper in question ->
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think a doctor may have touched me inappropriately, what do I do?
POST: I'm a 23 year old male that had to go into a work-mandated physical & drug test today. during the physical, a doctor who I've never seen before in a place I've never been in before, did the grabbing the nuts and cough thing, but afterwards, without asking or anything he pulled my foreskin back. i didnt say anything at the time because it'd been a long time since I'd last had a physical and didn't know it wasn't right. When I got home I looked it up and according ot the internet there's no reason for a doctor to do that without asking me first to do it myself. I'm perfectly healthy, nothing at all that he would have needed to do it. Now what? is this a big deal? do i shrug it off? if i want to report something like this who would i go to first? am i overreacting?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] with my b/f [33 M] together 7 months. I just found out he has used escorts & I am sickened
POST: In all the time I've known him he has always told me that he has only ever had 2 girlfriends that lasted anytime at all. One was in college and one was right after college and he ended it both times.
He is a very career driven guy, has advanced very far in his field and in fact is already an executive VP.
Basically I just came out and asked him what he has done for intimacy or even basic human contact for the 8 years that he was not seeing anyone. He admitted to his share of one night stands but stated that ultimately he got tired of trying to spend time doing that so for about 7 years he had a standing account with 3 different escort company's in the 3 city's he works in and would generally have 2-4 "dates" a month with an escort. By date I mean they went to his room and fucked.
He said this so matter of fact like that I thought he was giving me a stock report.
Now by no means am I a prude but I'm not going to lie my stomach turned when I found this out. He has been banging prostitutes for almost 7 years.
I don't know why but this bothers me more than I can say. He claims that once he and I started dating that he dropped all of his accounts and has not visited any since we have been together. I want to believe him but it would be so easy for him to do this and I would never know.
What's making my skin crawl is that we have both tested and been found clean so we are just using birth control. I know they are safe by profession but still....I just have the heebie-jeebies thinking about it.
Why is this bothering me? I'm mature, I'm even sex positive and somewhat of a feminist (I still like to have the door held open for me though, so sue me) but for some reason this is making me doubt everything.
He said that initially he would visit different girls but ultimately said he started just having 4 girls he would see regularly.
Tell me I'm being bat shit crazy and that there is nothing wrong with this.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors who grew up with divorced parent: How can I help ensure my kids will grow to understand and not resent my divorce?
POST: Recently my wife and I separated. The separation is fairly amicable and she and I have vowed to remain partners in raising our kids to avoid making them feel divided or abandoned. We take turns watching them when the other is busy and have an open door approach to visits. We still take them out as a "family" to movies and such just under the pretense that mom and dad are friends now instead of husband and wife.
I know there must be a ton of examples of kids who had great lives despite their parents divorces and I hoping you can tell me some of the things I can do(or avoid doing) to make sure my kids know they are still the number one priority in our lives despite our lack of marriage.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [ADVICE] I [24f] am struggling to include my MIL [45f] into holiday events
POST: My family has always done something on Thanksgiving day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Morning. It's never just "let's get together and see what happens", it's been the same planned events every year.
My husband's mom has never really done that. Her family isn't as intact as mine or really in to the holidays. When asked what her plans are she never has anything concrete to share and has just insisted on sticking with my parents stuff; she'd work around their traditions.
My husband and I have a one year old. This has made her realize she wants the family traditions and all of the holiday activities to make memories with her grandson.
How do I go about planning our holiday break when I have one family that has definite plans, and another that is wishy washy with plans?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Men of Reddit, if a guy is asking you relationship advice and talking to you about his feelings, is he into you?
POST: I feel silly for even asking this: I have a guy friend, we hooked up several years ago -like drunken hookup, nothing more.
I since moved on and have been in a serious relationship with a mutual friend. He and I have remained friends -not that we wouldn't- and often chat a couple of times a week via text.
Whenever he gets with a girl I get a drunken text about their escapades (I dont mind). And when he is having issues with one or feels really interested in them, he tells me.
Reddit has ruined me and now I think all my guy friends are trying to stick it in. Am I just one of the guys or what?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by dropping my girlfriend off at home
POST: I have been a lurker for the longest time, and recently my friend reminded me of a FU I had not to long ago.
For some background context I am 18m and and I am black/hispanic but I am a very Derpy person. My gf has been moving from place to place recently and the place she is at now is full on ghetto town. This will be important later on
So I just dropped my gf at her house and as im backing out I see this black guy who is wearing all blue and is wearing a mask, who I can safely assume was a crib gang member. He is limping towards my car holding his stomach like he has been shot or stabbed.
Fucking adrenalin started coursing through my veins and my face was similar to this i am hyperventilating and shit trying to act normal. I thought this guy was either hurt really bad and was trying to get my help or he was faking it and he was going to pull out a gun and light my ass up.
At this point he is about 3/4 the way to my car and idk wtf to do. I came so close to flooring it to run this mofo over, but being the lil bitch I am I just drove past him slow af. I was pretty confident I was going to die. Needless to say once I turned the corner I fucking noped out of there.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Saving a Waffle
POST: This actually happened today so I'm in the clear with all of you! I'm writing this on a beautiful spring morning after having a small hole in my face superglued shut.
Like most Saturday mornings my family was having a homemade breakfast, courtesy of my mother. Today, we were having waffles (not my favorite, but still pretty good). Being the growing young man that I am, I was eating a considerable amount of those waffles. So, I got up to get another, not bothering to push in my chair and beginning the FU.
After retrieving my next waffle, I make my way back to the kitchen table. As I approach my seat, the waffle slips from my grasp. In my mind I knew that there was no way in hell I was losing that waffle. With lightning quick speed I lunge for the waffle, inadvertently slamming my face into the top of my chair. I now have a small hole right next to my eye, where I hit the chair. Still got the waffle though.... I don't need stitches or anything but I thought this experience was too good not to share.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have a question [17 M]
POST: I know looks, ethnic background, religion, money has nothing to do with asking out a girl. I'm not rich or middle class, not poor either, money doesn't satisfy me at all. Regardless I'd say I have some "style" since I'm wearing the trends, however today my friend was saying something about this girl that is on our school.
He said she comes from a rich family, and looks like one of those snobby white girls that expects a lot. If I wear to describe her without showing an actual picture, to me she's pretty cute. Other people think differently. That's fine. Basically my friend was saying how she isn't my type, but he wasn't degrading me or anything. He was just telling me how usually the "rich snobby white girls" are always like what you see in the movies.
Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that. But would you still go after a girl even after hearing something like that? Like I mentioned earlier, it's all about confidence and personality, and just being yourself. I know for a fact I'm nowhere near her family income and race, but I'd still go for it since I got nothing to lose.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28/F] family will not call me by the first name I've had for 10 years.
POST: Hello r/relationships,
The month after I graduated high-school I had my first name legally changed, or to be more specific I legally switched around my first and middle names. For the sake of this post let's say I went from Mildred Rose Lastname to Rose Mildred Lastname.
I had been planning and talking about making this change for over a year before I did it as I was not fond of my first name and I wanted to distance myself from the person I was through highschool. My teenage years were very difficult for me (mental health issues, substance abuse as so on) and I saw graduation and going to university in a different province as my chance to start over all topped off with a new name to feel like a new me.
My parents (now 52/F and 62/M) were fine with the idea of changing my name and the only resistance was that as I'm only child and mom didn't want me to drop the name Mildred completely so I compromised and kept it in as a middle name instead.
The few friends I had from high school did very well adjusting to calling me Rose as well as most of the extended family but my folks (more so my mom) didn't even try. It wasn't until last year that they even started introducing me to new people as Rose, and even that is not consistent.
Now, my folks are amazing parents besides that. They are not narcissistic and have been very supportive and loving of me for my whole life except for my name. **It's been 10 years!** It's embarrassing to explain to people who've only ever known me as Rose why my parents call me Mildred, which inevitably leads to questions about why I would change my name and I'd really rather not get into my past with people who don't need to know it. I've tried explaining my feelings to them many, many times but no go. After this long I find it disrespectful that they won't try not to mention it hurts me.
I understand they have a sentimental attachment to Mildred, but doesn't a Rose by any other name smell as sweet? How can I convince them make the change?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my [29 M] 2 mos., battling my self doubt and high standards while he's with his child.
POST: Yay background information and context! I knew going into the first date that he had a child, but it really didn't change how I felt about him or saw him. We immediately hit it off and literally have not stopped texting since we first started messaging. We've been seeing each other for 2 months now but have only been officially bf/gf for a month or so.
Prior to meeting him I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years to deal with some of my personal issues of low self-esteem, self-worth, and some trust issues thrown in there too. Recently got on some anti-depressants for my anxiety as well.
He's super sweet all the time and always says how much he misses me and likes me when he is with his child. He has his daughter every other week and we don't see each other during that time. He says he will call after he puts her to bed but unless I specifically ask for a call that night he doesn't call.
I completely understand that his child takes priority and I would never try to get in the middle of that. I respect and adore him for being such a great dad. The thing is though that I'm struggling a lot with not thinking the stupid typical "he doesn't want to talk to you" or "he says all these things but doesn't mean them". You see where this is going I'm sure.
Has anyone else dated someone with a child and experienced these things? How did//do you handle it? I'm just afraid I'll screw this up and lose a great guy.
I typically lurk and didn't have an account prior to this but could really use some advice from other people who have been through this.
Cheers!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I want to know how to find a career
POST: I graduated in 2012 with a degree in Business and a focus on international business. I studied abroad during college, and liked it so much I returned to that country to teach English for a year for my first year after college. When I got back to the states the summer of '13 I wanted to get a job in international business. I looked for a bit and didn't find anything. I thought about joining the military but decided against it. I ended up being unemployed until november when I got a car sales job, but I quit that after a week. I hated sales so much. I found my next job February. I worked as a receptionist in a doctors office. My duties included answering telephones, calling in prescriptions, writing letters, setting appointments, among other general office work.
I just turned 24 and I know something needs to change. This part time work doesn't even give me enough money to move out of my parents house.
I want to find a good job working for an actual corporation where I can start and climb my way up a ladder. I lack experience though, and I don't know where to find it. Despite my education, I honestly don't know what positions to look for. I literally thought businessman was a title. Looking through the job boards though they are all for analysts, engineers, administrators. Things I know nothing about.
I'd like to find something in international business. Maybe something like shipping or tourism or a big industry like mining or logging. I don't know. I just really want something with stability and which offers the opportunity to move up. Should I go back to school? Maybe if I get a different degree, say in accounting or another hard skill I'd be more employable. But then I'd have more debt and I still wouldn't be able to move out and live like a 24 year-old adult.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Not sure if I 22f should leave him 22m due to baggage.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about two years. I have expressed my feelings for him in our relationship multiple times. However, he does not reciprocate. He is extremely sweet and funny and we rarely fight but I cannot stop thinking how he may not be over his ex.
He mentions her a lot, usually when he has been drinking. They broke up about 3 years ago and I feel like he hasn't let go considering he mentions her quite often sober or drunk. I believe this is unhealthy and that we cannot advance in our relationship due to this. Is there anything I can do to help him? I
I really care about him and I have been in his position before. I just want to know if there are any options besides therapy because I know he will not go. I know he cares about me but something is stopping him from expressing deeper feelings if they are even there.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever lost someone important to you to themselves?
POST: For me it was my best friend. We are no longer friends, but we used to be very close and even lived together for sometime.
I remember the very moment the realization dawned on me that she was not the person I thought I knew anymore. We were in the kitchen and she was saying "I'm fine, I'm fine" right before falling right to the floor and rolling around because she could not get up on her own. She was extremely drunk at 1pm right before work. She ended up insisting on not calling in, even though she could have easily gotten away with it since she had a good track record with her job.
She was fired obviously.
Over the next month or so things got worse quickly. She stopped paying rent even though she had a new job, and things were starting to go missing.
Our relationship as friends ended when I had to tell her to either leave on her own, or I would call the police about the items she had stolen.
This was followed by harassing and threatening phone calls from her new stupid friends, my facebook being "hacked" (which happened immediately after she left, or I would have changed my passwords right away,) and many, many police reports for harassment, violent and sexual threats, and property damage (a brick was thrown through one of the windows, and they vandalized my brother-in-law's car.)
The last contact with her I've had was through the police after she jumped me at walmart.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] think social media is ruining my relationship (Boyfriend is [21 M]).
POST: We've been dating for almost a year, but things have been a little rocky with us the last few weeks. I was recently diagnosed with depression and high anxiety but I refuse to take anti-depressants because I had a bad reaction to Prozac and I just don't want to be on medication.
We fight every once in a while, as most couples do. But today the fight was a little different. I was searching through who he follows on Instagram (looking for an account that I wanted to see about Tiny Houses) and I realized that he follows a couple of accounts that post pictures of half-naked girls. I get that this is a guy thing but it really struck a nerve with me because I can't help but compare myself to these other girls and think that I'm not what he wants.
So I brought it up and he was defensive obviously but this was an argument of my own insecurities. He threatened to leave and I cried and he told me to stop crying. We hugged and everything was okay, but he was giving me the cold shoulder. For 2 hours he stayed at my house and wouldn't talk to me, look at me, touch me, or even acknowledge my existence. When I asked why, he said he was "sitting" and had "nothing to say."
He left a little while after and gave me a cold hug. I said "see ya" on his way out and he looked angry and left. When I asked why there was no kiss, he kissed me on the cheek, mumbled I love you and then left. Now he won't answer his phone.
I understand he's probably upset and needs space but I guess Im looking so see if theres anything I can do in the meantime to make it better. I feel that he's getting sick of the little arguments and is probably getting fed up. I just want a healthy relationship with him and I feel like Im trying too hard.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm considering moving to Hyderabad, India from America but have questions.
POST: I find myself in a unique position where I am single, childless, and educated, looking to take on a new adventure. I have a friend who is being transferred from his job stateside to Hyderabad, India so he's moving his wife and his daughter there with him for at least the next three years. They've invited me to come live with them as he will only be home on the weekends and his wife (a close childhood friend) will be on her own the rest of the time.
I have a career here but I think I'm ready change jobs in the near future so I am seriously considering taking them up on their offer and moving to Hyderabad as this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. My main question is how to find a job in India. What is the job market like there, particularly for expats? My background is nonprofit/NGO work, particularly in resource development, program management, and marketing. Ideally I would find a position with a nonprofit or NGO in Hyderabad but as I'm just starting to look, I'm not really sure where to start. Anyone have advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What can my boyfriend do about this?
POST: My boyfriend(21) needs to break a lease at the townhouse that he rents with two friends. The townhouse is located near the college he attends and is two hours away from his actual house. Both are located in Pennsylvania. He came home for the summer and for reasons I rather not disclose he is now coming home permanently. He will be attending a school closer to his home. The issue is that he had signed a new lease prior to making a decision to move. Also, since it is a townhouse all three guys are leased together, not separately. My boyfriend's mother posted an ad on the internet to find someone to take my boyfriend's spot so his family wouldn't have to pay. The ad received several replies and at least 3 people were a perfect fit. Now the parents of the other two roommates are saying that they do not want their "kids" living with strangers. Keep in mind that these "kids" are actually men aged 21+ and now they will not speak to my boyfriend directly. The parents of the other two roommates have threatened to sue if he tries to sublet his lease or tries to foot the other two with his portion of the bill. They argue that my boyfriend and his parents need to be responsible and pay the bill ($6,300) for the year even though he won't be living there. But really isn't he being responsible by trying to find someone to sublease his room? Also, it doesn't sound like a good idea to have his name on a lease for a place he won't even be living. Anything that happens in that apartment he could end up being responsible for! So Reddit, please tell me what my boyfriend can do in this situation! Also, what are his rights?
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I don't like my fiancée's good friend and I don't want her at our wedding
POST: I'm in a bit of a tough spot here. I've never liked one of my fiancée's good friends, the girl is selfish, self-centered, rude, and generally an "all eyes on me" sort of person. We've discussed it, and my fiancée understands that I don't like her and why I don't, and agreed that I would never have to spend time with her. Here's the problem, our wedding is coming up and I don't want this girl there because I feel rather certain that she'll do something that will ruin the night. My fiancée understands how I might think she will act up, but still wants her there anyway. I've never got along with this girl and I don't want her to be a part of our day. If she does act like her normal self, it will be a disaster and my (at that point) wife will be upset, but at the same time, she'll be upset if she's not there. I've been tasked with making this decision and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by costing a genuinely nice kid his job
POST: This happened about two weeks ago. So I work at a little coffee place and have been for most of my high school career. We've had this new guy who just started, however he works while I'm in school so I have little to no interaction with him. We'll call him Sam. Anyways, come Sunday, it turns out Sam will be working the same shift as me. Awesome, right?
Now Sam is a nice guy. He dropped out of high school Junior year, but he is very level-headed and generally an extremely nice kid. We talk for a bit as we brace ourselves for the after-church rush of families. Now as it turns out, Sam was never taught how to make sandwiches and the entire day he had been watching me make them without my knowledge. So that is the first fuck up that went right by me. Now as I mentioned earlier, I've been working here for a couple of years so my boss let's me take some shortcuts when cooking because she knows I'm not going to fuck up (ironic, eh?). Anyways, fast forward a bit and I overhear my boss talking to Sam about how he really needs to quicken things up or else she'll have to fire him. Unbeknownst to me, Sam thinks he can redeem himself by exhibiting his progression at the sandwich station. Oh boy.
Fast forward to this past weekend. As I'm coming in, I see Sam at the sandwich station cowering in the corner as my boss towered over him yelling about how he was making sandwiches.
Went along the lines of, "Sam! I told you one last chance. And this is how you try to improve? By f*cking with the sandwiches? I don't care how nice of a person you are, if you can't handle this, you have to go." Needless to say, Sam is no longer on the schedule and I feel horrible. I tried to explain to my boss that he was mimicking me, but she wouldn't have it. Now I feel like I ruined some high school kid's genuine chance at getting a fairly stable job...
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (24F) and starting to resent him (30M), I don't know if I'm the jerk or he is, help!
POST: Me (24F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 4 years, its been mostly great, but the little things that bother me feel like they are starting to add up and out weigh the good things.
Things like, his increasing weight gain, lack of adequate hygiene , daily consumption of alcohol, and sleeping in till 4pm daily.
He works at a bar so he works late nights and every weekend, we live together but because of his job he sleeps in late and goes to work a couple hours after he wakes up so we rarely get to spend time together. On his days off he just wants to stay around the house and sit on his computer, I like spending time on reddit too, but it sucks that that's our only time together. It almost feels like I am single, except my single friends can still meet people, I feel like I'm doomed to be alone forever because I do have someone I care about, I just never get to see him.
You might ask why I wouldn't have left sooner, but the thing is, hes a really good guy, who I care about a lot. He is really good friends with all of my friends, I don't have a single friend that he isn't also friends with. Hes really sweet and supportive and loves me a lot.
I don't really know what to do, hes such a good person, I know I'm lucky to have him and have him love me so much, but the little things are getting to me, I feel like I'm starting to resent him for never being around and letting himself go (lots of weight gain, bad skin, old clothes). I've told him all of this multiple times over the last year, he seems to have no intention of changing anything, so I'm at a loss of what to do and would love an outside opinion! Ask me any questions you might have that would help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I need advice on breaking a lease based on unsafe living conditions
POST: I live in Mississippi and it's a college town so it's really difficult to find a home here that's worth a damn for a decent price. I finally found one and was able to look inside the home by a construction worker that was doing some repairs on a home. I went to the rental company told them I liked the place and was interested in renting it. Well, I signed the lease on March 24th that went into effect on April 1st. I got the keys on March 31st. I went to the house, looked around and inside at everything and then I noticed in the A/C unit that there was tons of mildew, rotted boards, and black mold. I called the landlord and he asked me to send him pictures over text message. So, I did and he said he would notify the owners. Well, I moved a lot of my stuff over to the house but haven't been living there because I still have an apartment and I wanted that mold issue fixed. I e-mailed him against last Friday and he said it would be taken care of Monday (4-27-15). I went to the house today (4-28-15) and all they did was paint over the mold and rotted boards. They just remodeled the entire house. Meaning, they painted all the walls, put down new laminate flooring, new stove, new sinks, new refridgerator, and new toilets. After seeing the mold around the A/C unit, I'm afraid the entire house might be covered in the mold and they just covered it up and that it's probably not safe to live there.
Is it possible for me to break this lease based on unsafe living conditions? Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Here are 6 images showing the mold before and after they painted it. I have images of the behind the filter if that helps I can upload those as well.
I also visited this website but wanted some more advice from actual people.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend[32 F] of 2 years, her way of dealing with problems is ruining everything
POST: My girlfriend is having one of her "mental breakdowns". This starts by pushing me away, sending me texts saying she doesn't want to see me. Then I ask why / whats going on and she starts attacking me saying she doesn't want to talk about it, she just wants me to be caring. Then she starts yelling at me telling me how much of an uncaring asshole I am and I don't care about her at all. If I try tell her thats not true, I do care I want to help etc I get told how horrible I am.
It's long but it basically ends up being shes upset about her life and where she is at, but it turns all against me because I'm expected to text things like "I love you so much I want to be with you 24/7 and hug and kiss you right now" while shes telling me "you are the biggest piece of shit liar I've ever met I hate you and never want to see you again". This is my first relationship. Is this normal? Am I expected to just ignore what shes saying and pretend its not happening? When things go wrong for me either I deal with it myself or on very rare occassions I'll talk about it. I've never just shut down and sit there telling everyone to fuck off, and if I did I wouldn't expect them to reply with lots of love. It's so contradictive and there is no way for me to win here, It's either I'm 'defending' myself or I'm not doing anything. I don't feel comfortable giving love notes to someone just absolutely making me feel like crap but at the same time I know she's going through rough stuff. She has 9 years on me but deals with problems like a 9 year old.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to peacefully end my relationship with my boyfriend who I live with?
POST: Things are so complicated and I don't even know how to begin to handle this situation. Any advice would be appreciated. I am a 23 year old female who lives with my 25 year old boyfriend.
We live together in a 1 bedroom apartment. All of our bills are split down the middle. All of the furniture is mine. Both our names are on the lease.
I want to end our relationship because I don't have feelings for him anymore. I don't want to cheat but I just don't want to be with him. How do I peacefully end our relationship?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Your BF going to a strip club.
POST: ME: 25
HER: 24
This seems to be a big problem with my GF of 1 year.
She's made it clear that it's a borderline "deal breaker" if I "choose" or "want" to go, completely disregarding the fact that sometimes when you're out with buddies, they make spur of the moment plans to bar hop or hit up a strip club. Lately she's been making an effort to not allow this topic to bother her, but while making it clear that she would be hurt if I went, she tells me "do what you want". If I ever end up going to a strip joint with my buddies, I know she's going to get irrationally upset when I tell her. It would almost be easier to avoid telling her, but I emphasize "truth and honesty" in my relationship, so I can't keep it from her. Sometimes I'm reminded on why some BF's lie. GIRLS OF REDDIT... how big of an issue is this for you?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (26/m) My girlfriend (25/f) has a hard time with commitment and often feels pressured (details inside). How can I help her overcome this?
POST: We've been together for around 10 months and are pretty serious. There is a lot of love and good times. There have also been many disagreements. As an example, disagreements tend to come when we have plans to meet up, and she says she can't because she has to go clean her room. Unfortunately we're both really busy, and probably wouldn't be able to meet up for another week so I suggest (not angrily) that she could clean her room a time other than when we had agreed to meet up. She then gets really mad, saying I'm pressuring her and usually there's nothing I can do/say to change her mind. A couple times I've gotten fed up and very mad, and it's convinced her, but I don't want to make her do things, at the same time, we need to have more seriousness about commitments to plans.
I know there's underlying issues with her family who pressure her a lot, and her mother always wants her to be home when she's not at work. Her family is Indian and in a very tightly knit community and I'm white. They don't know about me because my girlfriend thinks they'll hate me because I'm not from their community and lock her up in the house if she tells them.
It's a complicated situation, I know there's a lot of pressure on her, I want to be able to help her to help loosen up her parents but it's hard because they're very oppressive and controlling and I can't do anything indirectly. Her mother uses guilt a lot to make her do things. She'll sometimes cry for hours when my girlfriend won't do something she wants her to, telling her she's putting her in so much pain and how could she be so negligent of her own parents and family. Usually it's for something as simple as my girlfriend wanting to go visit another city for the weekend. What does reddit think I can do to help her overcome the situation with the parents and overcome her struggles with sticking to commitments?
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