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SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: [Advice] Can I hurry along a job offer?
POST: So here's the situation.
I am a college graduate working in metro Detroit at a job I detest.
Last week I had 2 very good interviews; one with a university in downtown Detroit and another with a national camp in Colorado.
I know I want to leave my current job (nothing but cold calls).
I have received an offer from the camp in Colorado for a year long internship that pays dirt, but includes free room and board in the mountains. I would love this job, but it would mean leaving Michigan where I was raised, my girlfriend, and my family.
I'm still waiting for a response from the University, which is the position I would prefer, better money and still in Michigan.
Is there a classy way to try and hurry the university along? Can I make a call and ask about the progress of my application and interview review?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your worst "oh shit, I just did/said that in front of a kid" moment?
POST: Last week I received an annoying email from a client. The rest of my team was outside my office discussing it. I walked up to them and, not really thinking about it, said, "what the FUCK are they thinking?" (I work in advertising. Salty language is probably the least questionable thing that goes on in most agencies).
My entire team froze, staring at me like I'd hopped on a table and dumped a load in front of everyone. I turn to find a little girl of no more than eight or nine years standing there, her arms filled with girl scout cookies, her wide eyes possibly only matched by those of her father, a coworker of mine, who's standing a few feet behind her.
I quickly pulled out twenty dollars and bought every damn box of cookies that girl had. Still, I felt like a grade-A douche as she skipped away while counting her money.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my ex [20F] 8 months, confused if I want her back or not
POST: I met my ex through Twitter back in January. (Bare in mind that she's from my home country and I'm living abroad) She came to meet me for a week where I live and we fell in love really hard. A month after that we decided to jump right to the phase of living together, we got an apartment and everything was perfect. She is diagnosed with depression and I though I could handle that cuz she seemed happier with me and better than before.
During our relationship there were fights and she would become very aggressive physically. She would throw me things (bottles, her laptop and what not). I always tried my best to ignore these things cuz I knew she didn't want to be like this ,so I would always forgive her. But in the last months of our relationship we were fighting every single day and I got scared when she pulled a knife at me. She didn't hurt me but the act it self made me realise this wasn't good for me. So she went back home and we broke up.
I always told her that I really loved her and that if she got better and I was missing her I would definitely take her back but she never gave me space to feel that she was gone. Anyway, now 2 months after we broke up she unblocked me from social media and started talking to me to be friends and I realised just now that I miss her like hell and I want her back. But I'm afraid of getting myself into the same sad relationship I had with her... she is better, she said she is sorry for everything she did to me but she is not as interested as me into getting back together. She says that she wants to be with someone that really wants to be with her and I do, but I'm afraid.
I was thinking about inviting her over to stay for a few days in order to see how we both felt and she wants to come, should I try this to see how I'm really feeling? Should I just take more time to myself? I really don't know what to do.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 5yr relationship issue-- "me" time
POST: Okay so some background first:
I absolutely love this girl and I will make her my wife one day (we're only 24 right now, so a couple years). 110 percent sure she feels the same. She's my best friend and I couldn't see myself with anyone else. We both have our respective groups of friends but rarely go out "alone" (happy hour after work with colleagues is not really "alone"). We've lived together for 1 yr in college and so far 1 year out of college.
Problem:
This past year living together has been kind of different (at least for me). She seems to have gotten very "clingy/needy/controlling". She has absolute no problems with me going out with friends or us going out in general which is strange. The issue she is having seems to be "me" time. She gets really mad/upset/angry when I stay up while she goes to bed, which is early sometimes (this maybe happens twice a week at most). The only "me" time I have is when she is doing something herself. I am now freaking out emotionally inside because I can never just read, play a video game, surf the internet or just watch TV.
I love spending time with her and always have. I've tried speaking to her about this but she just gets very defensive. I feel like I'm doing everything else right in the relationship. This is practically our only issue at hand. Any advice on how I can work through this with her? Any similar experiences? What helps ladies!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [21] of two years deals with anxiety problems and I [20] don't know how to respond to them
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I've always known he wasn't the most "stable" person. Due to a bad home environment until he was 18, he developed a lot of problems with anxiety. For example, sudden movements and sounds (even camera flashes or a pen dropping) can cause him to jump and yell in surprise. In public or social situations, he'll often tap his foot constantly or drum his fingers. When talking to people, he'll sometimes get nervous and tongue tied, and usually just ends up apologizing for being stupid. Of course I know it's not fun for him, but it also makes me extremely uncomfortable that he's so awkward in public.
After the anxiety got really bad a couple months ago, he did seek professional help. Now he's seen a psychiatrist three times and is on medication. He's also gotten to the root of some of the problems, and admitted to me that he's often so anxious because he's scared of not being in control, and he's worried people are going to hurt him or think he's a shitty person (fears he recognizes are irrational). But rather than the anxiety going away, it seems more like it's flattened out to the same level of anxiety he had before the really bad incident a couple months ago. He doesn't think it's getting better, and is losing hope for finding any solution.
As his girlfriend, I know I can't "fix" the anxiety, but I also have no idea how to help. I'll admit that I don't handle the situation very well, because I often get frustrated when he's having an incident and just tell him to stop being anxious, even though I know he can't. What am I supposed to do? How do I support him and encourage him to find ways to deal with anxiety? Also, to anyone who has experienced this in their relationship, can it get better? I can't deal with his current level of anxiety for the rest of my life, and I'm scared that will be the end of our relationship.
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SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Reluctant to change employment.
POST: I've been working at the local McDonald's for almost four years now, and it is my first job. I've finally gone through training for management, but I'm quickly finding out that my boss does not respect me, my promotion isn't anywhere in the top half of her priority list, the job does not pay enough for the stress it causes, and it doesn't pay enough for me to reach my financial goals.
I have a friend who works in production in the local industrial area. He says they're hiring, chances of being hired are extremely good. If I got the job I would be making $0.50 more than I am now at starting out pay, the hours are good (40+ hours a week), and they pay overtime. The downside: I will be **standing** at a table for 10 hours a day. He says most people quit because the job is boring. Entry level position is labeling bottles. You are, however, allowed to listen to music players as long as you have one ear free at all times. Shifts are two hours longer than I'm used to.
I really want to get out of my current situation, but I don't know if this job I'm looking at is right for me.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 3.5 years, LDR control problems
POST: I have been with my girlfriend of 3.5 years and we have been in a long distance relationship for less than 2 weeks. I live in Socal and she lives in Norcal. It takes me 4 to 5 hours to drive to see her.
This weekend, I was suppose to drive up north to see her. However on Friday morning, she called me and told me not to go up there because of the bad weather conditions and I will go up the next weekend.
With my weekend plans scrap, I decided to go to San Diego from LA to visit my friend who I have not seen for some time. I told her later in the day about it and she gets angry because I did not buy a plane ticket to go see her. I do not have the financial means to do so. She basically thinks I did not prioritize her.
So at 9PM, she called me and demanded me to be up in Norcal in the morning or else she will break-up with me. With that threat, I decided to ignore her phone calls. I don't know what to do or how to respond to her if she calls me again. What should I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Best friend (30m) acts like he is dating me (24f) but when confronted denies. 3rd time we've gone through this. Majorly confused.
POST: My best friend and I have been involved romantically for over a year now. He treats me extremely well and we get along great. Due to certain circumstances he moved out of his apartment and is living with me. At first we were sharing my bed were he was extremely cuddly. Tells me he loves me all the time (drink or sober), teases me like you would a gf (butt pinching, tickling, etc) and have frequent sex. I like him and love where we are but would like for him to vocalize how he feels soccer we never talk about it. I confronted him for a third time and was told I have more feelings than him. (So he's sleeping on the couch) Am I naive? Is he pushing me away because I am getting too close? He is a very reserved guy when it comes to himself. I know more about him then anyone. I'm getting frustrated. Any advice or insight?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me and 2 friends all [17 M], feel like the other two are growing closer while I am left behind.
POST: Me and my best friend James have been very close for a few years, and about 6 months ago met Liam at a festival.
Liam is best friends with another one of my close friends, hence how we were introduced. James and I got along really well with Liam whilst at the festival, and so continued to see him afterwards with other friends, or just the three of us.
Soon after James and Liam met, James began messaging Liam on Facebook a lot. It was enough for me to notice and I, someone who doesn't use Facebook much and prefers face to face interaction, was slightly nervous that Liam might grow closer to James through the more frequent interactions.
I sucked it up, had a few nice conversations with Liam myself, and felt happy that Liam didn't noticeably like James more than me.
However another problem has recently arisen, that Liam lives really far away from me, yet quite near James. This allows for James to arrange for them to just quickly see each other without me, something that's not usually done within our inclusive circle of friends.
I don't know what to do. My biggest fear is that eventually, Liam will just see me as "James' friend", and I really would love some way where I can keep up with them and have us as a group of 3 friends, as opposed to them as a couple.
Please help! Any advice welcome thank you :)
I am not normally jealous but I hate this feeling of being left out.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [37M] broke it with my girlfriend [44F], feeling like I couldn't deal with an open relationship. Now I regret it...should I try to make it work?
POST: Background: We're both in the process of divorce, after many years of marriage. I've been dating for over a year, and her just recently and only with me and one other person.
We started dating, and she let me know she was seeing someone occasionally, who lives a few hundred miles away. She visits maybe once a month. At first, I figured we were just dating, and I wasn't exclusive with her either. But after a few weeks it became more than that and she even said she'd be jealous if I were seeing someone else. I told her I wouldn't anymore, and that she satisfies me in every way.
So a couple weeks ago she told me she was heading out of town to see her FB. I kind of lost it and told her I wasn't OK with it. She got all teary and said she didn't want this to end. I agreed to think about it, but that it would hurt me. She chose to go anyways, knowing it would hurt me. So when she came back I called it off. She totally understood, but was sad about losing me, and the door is still open to start something up again.
The problem is that the sex is epic and we've both agreed there's more to it even than just that. We were both surprised with how natural and easy it's been. I'm more in a place of wanting to find someone to have a LTR, while I think she needs to shop it around a bit, or at least not be tied down. So should I make a clean break, and get out? Should I try out having an open relationship? Should I give her a few months/year and let her figure out what exactly she wants?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my roommate's [28M] friend [34F], she made some really anti-Semitic comments. I'm Jewish (she doesn't know) and my roommate didn't take it seriously. How to proceed?
POST: So, for starters, I'm a recent college grad living with my girlfriend (both women) and my friend and coworker. My coworker/roommate is a super cool guy, and he enjoys partaking in various drugs (weed, molly, shrooms, etc) which I have no problem with.
My roommate had a couple of friends over the other day, a couple, Jenn and Mark. Jenn and Mark were there to hang out with Jay (roommate). So we're all in my roommates room except for Jay, who is in the bathroom. Jenn and I are talking and laughing and she says she used to want to be a comedian and still does. I noticed before on a previous visit that she uses the term "Jew" as if it's a derogatory slang word. I didn't think much of it other than it was sort of rude to use a word like that still, and just sort of moved on. Jenn doesn't know I'm Jewish.
So, Jay is in the bathroom and Mark and Jenn start talking about how crazy Jenn's mom is. Jenn starts talking about a comic she drew of her mom, and how she drew her mom as a "Jew with a Jewfro" and how in the comic, she branded her mom with a "Jew mark." I just sort of stopped talking and let her continue, and she didn't notice my discomfort. I left the room later.
I talked to Jay and told him what was said when he was in the bathroom and he didn't seem to take it that seriously. He said he doesn't hang with them much and that they're juggalos (not sure why that's relevant) and stuff. It bothered me that he didn't take it seriously. I get that he's not religious, but being a Jew sometimes goes a little bit beyond religion (I even look pretty Jewish, and so does my family). My girlfriend is not religious and she was furious about this.
What do I do next? I'm worried about having her in my house, but it's his house too.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Im 21/m and my 24/f GF are looking towards a lifetime together but I hesitate because I still think of my ex. Please help!
POST: I made a throwaway account as my girlfriend knows my Username. I have been dating my current girlfriend for over a year now and we have hit a point in our relationship where we are thinking seriously about taking our next steps. She is dying for kids (her biological clock started ticking when she was born lol) and I want to be married before kids. She would love to be married as well. I love her so much and she loves me back. The problem is I still cant stop thinking of my ex. I was with her for 6 months and she dumped me nearly two years ago. We never even had sex but I had never felt love like that before. I know that as my first real love she will always be special to me but whenever I think about moving on with my current GF thoughts of my ex make me freeze up. I know there is no chance of anything ever happening with me and my ex ever again and I am scared that ill wind up ruining my current relationship because of my hesitation. What can I do to stop thinking of my ex and allow myself to move on with my life?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have heard many Redditors talking about how their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them, and told everyone a different story. Does anybody else have stories like this? [Resubmission; it was late at night]
POST: I'll go first. I was in the 5th grade, and a girl asked me out over Yahoo! Messanger. She said that lots of guys were after her and that I have to hurry with my decision; I said yes. The relationship went well for the first few days until she got a little too comfortable.
She kept slapping me in the face because that was her idea of playing/flirting. I told her to stop but as a kid, she didn't. I got tired of it and broke up with her. Ironically, she slapped me and stormed away. She started telling everyone that she broke up with me because I was ugly and kept slapping her...wow. All the girls at recess kept chasing me everyday and beating the living fuck out of me.
Later on, she tried to make me jealous by going out with my best friend and hugging him when I came around. She even wrote poems about me and read them to the class; "AculticFly is so ugly, he looks like the grinch. Blah, blah, blah." I didn't show any interest, so she cut my with a rusty bobby-pin then forced a hug on me, on the last day of school.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am having second thoughts about my new relationship [24M] after about a month, but we've been friends for seven years.
POST: I've been friends with this guy for seven years. He's had feelings for me just about that whole time. I had a boyfriend for five of those years.
A year ago, that boyfriend left me for someone else.
A month ago, I agreed to start "dating" my friend of seven years.
I'm having serious doubts. First of all, my feelings for him nowhere near match his feelings for me. Second, I think about my ex all the time. I miss him, I compare him to this new guy and he wins. Third, I am depressed and busy with school, two things that make me want to seclude myself. So I don't WANT to be around anyone, let alone my new boyfriend.
I don't know how to do this, how to tell him I am not ready for this, without ruining the friendship we had for seven years. I don't want him to be out of my life completely, I just need more time. I need more time before I can consider dating anyone, and I also don't even know if we should be together in this way at all. He's a very sensitive and emotional fellow. Affectionate and kind of dramatic. I'm the opposite. And his emotional needs *annoy* me. ALREADY! After a month!
How can I go about this? I feel terrible, because he's been waiting for this for years...but...I feel trapped and icky. It just doesn't feel right. Help me, reddit!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I just need some input because I honestly don't know...
POST: Okay a little backstory, this past December a girl from work messages me on facebook, nothing funny just a hey how ya doing. Well we start texting and about 10 days later shes at my house cuddling and watching a movie with me, well I get that first kiss (What a zinger, I'm 19 and that was my FIRST kiss...yeaaaa I belong on the internet :P) and a few days later after we have hung out every day we decide to go steady, date, go out whatever you wish to call it. Well that was Dec 23, 2012. After some conversation come to find out she isn't a virgin and I am, not that it matters to me whether she is or not but I'm lost on how to tell if she wants to go further than some light kissing.
We've basically spent every chance we could together since we started talking, including her sleeping in my bed a few nights ago but nothing happening other than cuddling. We talked tonight and she's going on about how happy I make her and it's crazy cause she's never felt such feelings before about someone and that's great and all because the feelings are mutual. Where I'm lost is, how will I know either A, the time is right or B, she wants to go further?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I tell my girlfriend she hasn't been there for me?
POST: I'm a 21 year old man in a relationship with a 20 year old woman. We live together and have been living together for over a year. The past month and a half have been tough for both of us, but especially tough on me. Work has been going terribly, I've had a string of bad luck that culminated in a bad car accident, and this semester has been my worst semester in college (again, largely through my fault of my own). I've been pretty stressed and a little depressed, but she just doesn't seem to realize it. Instead, she got upset with me for acting a little morose. Instead of trying to make me feel better all she did was get annoyed with me.
Tonight she wanted to have sex, and I just didn't want to. She got incredibly upset, and acted more than a little selfish, but I just didn't feel like it. How do I explain that she's not being caring and understanding without being overly judgmental?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 M] began dating a friend [24 F] of many years since high school, things were going well but now she has cut contact with me.
POST: So, I have a friend who I have known since high school...we always got along great, everything in common etc. and just generally loved being around each other. Due in part to timing with other relationships, school, etc, we just never really considered each other that way until recently. She had recently gotten out of a bad relationship, and I had been thinking about her a lot recently, so I thought what the hell and made a move. Things started out great, when we were together it was the same feeling of comfort and fun, except with the added initial dating feelings etc as well - good times were had.
So the problem is that she is still getting over the last breakup, and mentioned as much, and things were ok for a while, but in the last couple weeks got to the point where communication slowed to a trickle, and then stopped altogether (her, not me - she wont return calls/texts etc).
So now I'm in a spot where I'm fairly certain she just needs space, but im not sure if I did or said anything to trigger this. I obviously dont want to mess up the friendship, since shes one of the best friends Ive ever had, but at the same time, when we were together at the beginning of this, things were amazing (on top of being fun to hang out with we would just like sit and stare at each other and smile and kiss and talk about how happy we were and why we never did this before etc) and I cant help but be heartbroken.
Should I keep trying to contact her (since I do understand where she is coming from and wish I could help), or just stay silent until she works through her issues?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: No contact with ex [M27] 2 weeks, I [F27]just found out he had a dating profile. Need help/encouragements coping with this and the break up in general.
POST: As title says, I broke up with him because I found out a string of lies throughout our 3 year relationship(like hiding me from friends/family) We used to live together and I broke it off when i found out. I left the house we shared and started a job in a new city. Im making some friends and getting out there, guys have asked me out but I think its too soon to date since its been less than a month. I found out he had a dating profile while we were dating.
I had my suspicions since I found out he was talking to girls from that site (another reason for the break up) I found out now because a friend who lives in the same city sent me a screenshot. I looked it up to confirm and its true. The pictures on his profile are the ones I've taken of him up and in others he is posing with my pets. Which makes the thing even more digusting. I haven't contacted him since I broke up with him. I just feel very used and like I wasted 3 years of my life. I don't regret the break up since he showed me what a lowlife he was but I feel angry at myself and hurt I wasted so much in someone so worthless.
I'm going to the gym, eating healthy, doing my nails/hair, trying to get involved...what else can I do? I appreciate any encouragement/advice..
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my best friends girlfriend that he was cheating on her with her best friend.
POST: This actually happened on New Years eve/day. We all went out to a bar that was having an event. I had too much champagne, tequila shots and vodka somethings? Anyway here's a little bit of the backstory: One night all four of us went out for drinks and my best friend got into an argument with his gf. We took a taxi back to her best friend's place and she decided to go home. Since she lived down the road it was an easy walk for her. However, my friend, her friend and me stayed at her friend's place to eat and just cool down. I decided I was going to crash there since I didn't want to drive drunk. When I woke up to use the restroom, I woke up to them having sex. I saw and heard it.
Fast forward to New Year's Eve, two weeks before that my best friend told me that he had feelings for his gf's best friend. Another thing that's very important here is that my friend's gf is also a best friend of mine. I'm closer to him but I'm also very close to her. Since September I've felt guilty not saying anything to her. Everytime we would hang out I would feel so bad for her. I told my friend to come clean and that he should stop the affair but he continued. So on New Year's Eve his gf and I were having a convo and in my drunken state, which I vaguely remember, I let her know everything: including the feelings part. My best friend threatened me and his gf got mad at me. To sum things up I'm not his friend anymore and she and me work together so we had to see each other. The first day we worked together she hardly acknowledge me. I felt like shit. I know it wasn't my place to say a word. Had I been sober I don't think I would've said a thing. Oh well time to move on to a new year.
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I discovered my dads a pervert, would like to know what legal actions I can take in case things get messy.
POST: I'm in Washington state, US. I found a soiled pair of my wife's underwear, a bottle of lubriderm,and a CD-r full of private and family photos from our old computer. The CD had a file full of tasteful nudes (not my wife) that we made as a windows theme. Another file had 3 dirty pics and a video of my wife and I. I found one of those pictures as well as a few others moved to his computer. That disk was in OUR dresser in OUR room. We are living with my parents while we apply for a home loan and take care of some credit debt, and my parents tend to deny any thing they do wrong. For example, both of them refuse to acknowledge or even believe that their divorce as a result of both them having numerous affairs affected my sister and I as children. To them that whole situation is irrelevant because they themselves got over it, remarried and moved on. In this light, my biggest fear is them blowing it off like it isn't happening. So I've come here to build my case. From what little I've been able to read and understand, he invaded my privacy by stealing the CD from my room and taking personal pictures from it, not to mention the theft in general of the cd. My main concern is when my wife finds out. She is a loud, passionate, extremely hard working person. She will feel violated in a big way and will escalate the situation. Basically, I just want help building a case against him before I do anything because I just want to be able to show him that he can't run from this. He can't just shrug it off saying "you were a douche when you were young so I can do no wrong to you" like he usually does.
So, to sum up. I need help pointing out how he violated my rights and privacy, whether criminally or not. I cannot afford a lawyer so this will be my best bet. I have pictures of everything and plan on using a voice recorder for every time I talk to them about it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 24M in long distance relationship with 23F not sure i can do it anymore
POST: So the short version is we met online and hit it off the first 3 months we skyped everyday and texted all the time. These last two months have had 3 major fights and one mini breakup. I dont know what to do. In terms of interests and understanding each other its 10/10 but lately its been bad. She has a mental illness and it can get bad but weve dealt with it before. Lately she has become more withdrawn and i dont think i feel the same way anymore. Logically we are a perfect match but after 2 months of me trying to keep this going and receiving no responses and no communication i just dont know. Its even further complicayed because im moving to asia for a 2 year contract. Please help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my EX [27 F], Broke-up and after 4 months we bumped into each other and we are hanging out again.
POST: I do not know what to do. We had been together for over 4 years until we recently broke-up after we bought a house. During the process and after moving into the house, our relationship deteriorated and eventually I could not take it and I broke up with my EX.
Since then the house has been transferred solely to my name. I then recently bumped into her and we both exchanged what has happened in our lives and next thing we are both are having drinks and then ended up at a Hotel having sex. I know I still have feelings for her and I know she still does as well. It was emotional and I know I am weak but I never met anyone that makes me feel the way she does.
I broke up with her because I was felt like I was not happy, but after we broke up I realized I really care about what other people think/judge of me. If my family or friends were not there to support me during the breakup, I would have taken her back in a second when she came back begging for me to take her back.
Now, I want to take her back in a second but I am afraid of what other people would think and I don't know if it will work. I do not know how much we have changed as individuals, but if both of us are the same as before, it will not work. I want to try and I would risk it again with no second thoughts if I knew in the back of my mind I had my friends and families support. Also, I did not meet anyone after the breakup and I did try.
Can someone give me some honest advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (26/m) My Girlfriend(24) of 7 years left me this week. I told her i want to fight to get her back. Does anyone have experience in things like this?
POST: So my girlfriend of seven years decided to go to her mother to gets her thoughts clear on Sunday last week. She told me she wants to break up on wednesday. Everything stayed friendly, she even had the guts to stay 2 hours to console me a little.
And she went on saying she doesnt know if its the right decission she made.
When she met my mother while shopping groceries the other day she told her the same.
So i decided to give her a call yesterday and ask her, if i am allowed to fight to get her back. She said yes. But i should not be disappointed if it doesn't work.
I guess to help me here, you need some more information.
She was away for the last year, getting an additional Degree
(Its a german thing: First comes an apprenticeship and after a few years youre entitled to do another one on top of that one. Its called "Meister", which translates to "Master" but isnt the same as the Mastersdegree).
I lost my job in the time before she got back and was about to find a new way in life. I let my worst sides show.
Appartment was a mess (unsorted paperwork everywhere, minimal cleaning). On top of this, I was very short tempered (because of my own situation, not screamed at her once) and insensible. I made no effort to keep her and took her for granted.
Now i cleaned EVERYTHING as best as I could (you may eat from my floors now) and finally decided what i am doing with my life. All fancies of visiting a University are gone and i am looking for a job in the craft i apprenticed in. I want stability and a family.
And if there is any possibilty of getting her back, i want that family with her.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Just cut off plans, possible contact with former fwb. I'm in a relationship, did I do the right thing?
POST: I used to date someone who we'll call Courtney, though we were never official. We were more like friends with benefits. This ended about a year ago when I moved to another city.
I came back home for christmas break, and she wanted to hang out again. She said it was a friends-only thing, but sent me a text saying "I can't wait to see you, especially if you're half as cute as you were." The problem is that I'm in a relationship, and have no interest in throwing that away.
At first I agreed without thinking about it, but the morning of the day we were going to hang out, I cut off the plans. Now I think she's trying to guilt trip me with texts saying things like "way to be one more abandonment in my life..." to which I all I said was "I'm sorry."
I understand this is all over the place, but I'm really not sure what to do. I feel like Courtney and I could still be great friends, but I'm not comfortable seeing her until I know for sure that's what she wants. Should I just cut off contact? I know I was in the wrong for agreeing to see her in the first place, but was I in the right for cutting off plans? I feel like I just lost a good friend.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Is there anything I can do to salvage this relationship?
POST: She (21F) just broke up with me (21M) earlier last month, ending the first "real" relationship I had. It lasted just under 2 months.
She said that she was breaking up with me because she could not handle the physical distance between us (we live on opposite sides of the state and I could only visit her on the weekends) and that she had personal problems which have been bothering her since before we got together. She said she still wanted to make the relationship work when either of us would be able to afford to live closer to each other and when she got her emotional issues in check. Unfortunately, she said she couldn't tell me what these issues were (???) and I asked her to set an appointment with a therapist. She said she did but I'm suspecting she ultimately never followed through with this.
I was pretty upset with her for her attitude of trying to party her problems away and when she failed to meet me after we after agreed on a date to exchange our stuff (which was her idea) I decided to stop talking to her. After acting like a rude douche, I told her that I would rather not talk to her at all. I thought all of that would quicken the grieving process but I was wrong. I still felt even more like shit and as a result only ended up upsetting her. And that's putting it lightly. Eventually I apologized for acting like a dick and she said she forgave me but I feel like I have already done too much damage.
We went from chatting online for most nights of the week (following the breakup) to her responding to my texts with hostility and passive aggressiveness. Every attempt at conversation falls flat. She seems super distant whenever I try to talk to her online or over the phone. I'm just wondering if it's completely over or if we still have a chance to recover. I really love this girl but she seems to be drifting farther and farther everyday.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: People not wanting to pay their debts
POST: This is a bit of a rant, and just to put it on the table I'm 23 and came out of school with a large amount of student debt. I'm young and naive so take it for what its worth.
There is a huge problem with my generation, and I believe it stems from a sense of entitlement. There is an issue with the cost of education, but this post won't address it.
It seems that everyone wants to reap the benefits, but not be held responsible for their decisions. To often I see my peers making poor decisions financially and expecting everyone else to pick up the slack. Why is it, that people just coming out of school are already looking on how to get their debt forgiven? There are others who decide, "I don't want to feel poor, so I'm just not going to pay off my CC, house, etc."
Bankruptcy and other options exist, but they should only be used as a last resort. Most everyone has had to make sacrifices to make ends meet one way or another, we give up that vacation, night out, or even a movie so we can pay what we owe.
Live with less, spend less than what you have. We can't perpetually live above our means saying that we'll take care of it later, or that the government can bail me out.
To often this is a me me me, I I I society. Take into consideration your neighbor that has to pay your way when you decide its to hard and/or made irresponsible decisions.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by impersonating my school, giving a quarter of the students a day off, and being given away by my friend.
POST: So, I don't really know where to start, actually. Uuhhh.
Last Thursday, the power was out for literally half the day at my High School, so at the end of the day the newly acting principal went around to all of the last period classes and told us of the possibility of a Facebook page being made, to announce any school shutdowns for the next day, and later events. The issue with this was that he said they *would* make a page, and didn't see an incoming shitstorm.
After class while we were getting ready to leave, my friend said it would be an awesome idea to make a page before they did, and I somewhat agreed. Of course, at the time, I wasn't actually planning on doing it; I decided to after said friend pestered me about it. I had it all set up, I made a new Email and Facebook account, then proceeded to create the page, schedule a post for the morning, and share it around; it helped that the school never officially made a page.
I woke up in the morning, and just stayed home, waiting for the event to pan out - the post had already been seen by a good fifty people by around 7:00; this escalated to almost 2,000 views, and around 40 shares in an hour, with multiple comments on the page from people spreading it around. I didn't really expect this, it was just going to be a harmless joke, and it became something.
This Monday, I came to school and was instantly swarmed by the type of people you would view as spiteful dicks, making sarcastic comments and questioning or congratulating me - I was escorted to the office before I could even get to first period, and was questioned - I probably would've been fine, too, considering they seemed rather simple. The next day, I was escorted again and was outright told they thought it was me, and that my 'friend' had confirmed it for them. Because of this, I am now in suspension, and am required to write a public apology, along with paying a bill for any costs incurred for that day.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: E-mail vs. Conventional Mail, which one is more reliable?
POST: I had problems with part of the government bureaucracy because I never received a letter that they sent. That got me thinking, e-mail doesn't have the same problems that conventional mail does right? It's not like an e-mail will get dropped or lost, it always makes it there right? Of course people have spam filters so that's a problem, but the e-mail still technically gets to them. Then again you could also certify conventional mail, but that would triple the cost of sending each letter and isn't worth the cost.
I'm just annoyed because I can appeal the decision and say I didn't get the letter, but they said since the letter never came back to them it must've come to me. It just seems unreasonable to me. For example, all of the college application I sent by mail I certified to make sure they got it.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How should I (23 M) break up with my GF (19 F) for the second time without having to be too brutally honest?
POST: So we've been together for 2 years come next month, and frankly I want out...again. I broke up with her in February of this year, then got back together with her 6 weeks later in April. My reasons before had been numerous, but I didn't completely tell the truth.
I told her that I was depressed (true), that I didn't see myself "ending up with her" (true), that we fought too much (true), that I was generally unhappy with her (true), and that I wasn't into the sex anymore (true).
What I didn't tell her was that my attraction for her had plummeted big time, that I was bored of her, and possibly didn't love her as much anymore.
When I took her back, it was because I thought I had made a huge mistake, and I thought I still loved her. So I told her that. I wrote her a 12-page letter about it. Now I wish I could take that all back.
I *think* I still love her, but I'm no longer in love with her. I find her annoying - her voice, particularly. I'm bored of what she likes, what she talks about, and her friends. I am not that attracted to her anymore, and that makes me not want to have sex with her. I don't think she's a good person, either. She's generally dishonest - lies, cheats, and steals. God forbid she would cheat on me, too.
Sometimes, in fact, I wished she would cheat, so I could dump her. But I think she loves me too much. I don't know. I feel that I deserve her love, I just don't really want it anymore.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to tell gf (24 f) that her new friend is pushing me (24 m) away without sounding controlling
POST: My gf and I have had some troubles with trust recently and I feel like we are growing apart fast. My gf is one of those girls who has always had a boyfriend and went from being single to dating quickly from what I know. She recently went to a party and this one guy and her have been talking throughout the entire day everyday, and now they are starting to hangout with each other. She has told me she's not interested at all with this guy and I believe it, but this guy has came out to her and shared feelings to her. This has caused me to be in pain and feel angry knowingly that this guy is coming on to her and she isn't clearly saying no. I find myself skate asking that if they are hanging out I want to be there, and asking how this guy is doing, but all of a sudden they stop talking, once I started asking questions. Is it natural to dwell on my girlfriend's and this guys relationship? How have things normally turned out with everyone's past experience? At times I feel single, often actually, but I have a hard time trying to break up with her because I don't have anywhere else to move to/mice in with. I have find myself thinking that once I get an place of my own, I'd break up with her. She hates it when I bring up how I feel and how I tell her that I don't want her talking with this guy, but she will not stop talking to this guy because he's just a friend and she's loyal to me. What are things I can do to get out of this weird depression/confusion/worry/single state of mind? I'm looking at counselors to set up an appointment with them, but that's it so far.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) got stood up tonight by a guy (24M). Dont know what to do. :(
POST: So tonight was supposed to be our forth date. I was going to make him dinner before we hit up some bars. Our first three dates went REALLY well. We just click with each other. On the days we havent seen each other, we have been texting non-stop.
I double checked these plans yesterday, but we havent talked much today besides the random snapchat or two.
I got home from work, got ready, and texted him "pssst" to see where he was. While I waited for a reply, I started to prep dinner. 40 minutes went by and I still hadnt heard from him, so I texted him again "Hey what is your eta?"
No response.
So I started cooking dinner. I realize that I probably wont see him tonight, and have decided to eat a fucking awesome meal, get drunk, and watch the new aziz standup on Netlix.
But what do I say to him? I am really hurt that he blew off these plans, because I like him a lot and I thought he felt the same (because he told me so).
I'm pretty sure hes hanging out with coworkers drinking and smoking.
What do I do? What do I say?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: As a [30s M], I'm being asked personal questions by my nosy [22 F] colleague and she won't give up.
POST: I have a colleague who's been asking me several personal questions and I'm not sure whether it's because she's nosy and a gossip since she already told something I told her to another colleague, or whether she's a potential threat. I don't know whether or not this colleague was taught manners or if it's in her nature to get into everyone's business but lately she's asked details like:
- where I live
- which transit station I go to
- which bus I take
- what time is my bus (she asked it Friday)
- if I live in an apartment or a house
- which month my birthday is in
- my age
- made a comment how nice a coat was I was wearing and how expensive it was (it was expensive but I didn't pay for it)
etc.
I've given her some details already but I don't feel comfortable giving out more and it's putting a strain on our working relationship. The other day she asked, if you don't mind a personal question, how old are you? (And you know what, I do mind, in part because I am much older than her and other colleagues, although and act younger) I tried dodging the question with a hint saying I was hassled by a doorman a few years ago and asked for ID and she guessed a number, and then hassled me the rest of the shift for the precise number. I have my reasons for not giving my exact age and especially not date of birth, and one of them is privacy.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Might be going into business need advice.
POST: I (22F) was approached by a family friend to invest in a distributing business. I am interested but the way he explained seems a little odd to me. He wants me to take out a personal loan (hoping to get 100,000 and up) and he says he'll use that for buying new trucks and other things the business will need since they are expanding. He does have a bachelors in business, a background in different businesses, and he just started this business about 7 months ago and it seems to be doing well. I know that in any business there is risk but I'm not sure if his plan (me taking out a personal loan) will actually work. Any advice would help.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would it be overkill if I [19F] gave my girlfriend [22F] 31 presents at once?
POST: I'm sorry if this is a silly question. I'm a really big giftgiver. I like to spoil people with gifts and notes and surprises.
My girlfriend is crazy about halloween, she absolutely loves it. she's been talking about it for months now and its not even October.
I had the idea to get her 31 little presents, so she can open one each day leading up to halloween. like an advent calendar type thing, but for halloween instead of christmas.
Not all of the gifts are major things, just little halloween trinkets, halloween themed candy, and maybe a few bigger ones (like a stuffed cat and a necklace).
Am I going to look crazy if I hand her a bag of gifts on October 1st, and tell her to open one every day?? We've only been dating a few months, so i'm still kinda trying to figure things like that out.
Really I just need some outside opinions please.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [20F] gets sad when I don't sleep with her in her twin bed, but I can never fall asleep when I do.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 or so months, and we live in different towns. When she visits me, we stay in my full sized bed. But when we visit her, the only sleeping option is to share her extremely small twin sized bed (in a room she shares with another woman but that isn't the issue here).
I've slept in this bed numerous times, each time giving in because I really do want to sleep next to her, but some nights I toss and turn, some nights I'm squished into the wall and sometimes I stay up for hours playing with the cat. I even slept curled up in a ball at the end of the bed once.
Should I keep doing this until eventually I fall asleep? Am I being crazy for needing my space while I sleep? She is often sad when I decide to drive home to my parents home (in the same town as her) instead of sleeping over.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Expensive car bill, parents fighting
POST: Mom's engine light goes on and the car seems like is shaking, goes back to the dealership and comes back with a $2400 repair bill.
My mom isn't the best driver, but when she said that the light came on suddenly in the morning, not as the result of any other incident, then I believe her.
Problem is that there has been some history of us being somewhat accident prone with cars, and my dad may have hit a wall in terms of his tolerance for it. While frustrating, he does seem to be placing blame on my mother, even though I feel that she doesn't deserve as much ridicule and embarrassment as my dad may be putting on her.
I'm an only child, and sometimes these things may affect me more than some other people, but I'm just feeling a little down right now.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my roommate [22 M], he's taking advantage of my kindness.
POST: I live in an apartment with my fiance (M), my sister (T), and her boyfriend (C). A friend of ours (E) was recently let go at his job and was pretty much about to be homeless. We offered him a place to stay, rent free, until he gets a job (at which point he can start paying or get his own place). My expectation was that it wouldn't take very long however it's been a few weeks now and he's still unemployed.
I am typically a caring soul and I knew he was hungry and had no food. So I told him if he cleaned the apartment I would pay him 40$. I felt like that was a very generous amount for that task and E agreed but I made the stupid mistake of paying up front.
E immediately went out with C and bought some food, promising me the cleaning would be done by the time I left for work in the morning. It wasn't. Almost a week later now and all he's done is some half assed cleaning in the living room which he promptly re-messed.
I'm upset but I'm not very confrontational. On top of that I'm trying to avoid letting M know I'm upset because he's had a temper about similar situations in the past (over protective). I talked to my sister T about it and she said it upset her too that I extended a kindness to him and he basically spat in my face.
I was originally going to just let it go but T and C think I should confront him about it and get him to do the work.
What should I do here?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I work for a company in Silicon Valley. 98% of my net worth is tied up in that company's stock. This is obviously financially unsound. What do I do first? (x-post from /r/investing)
POST: This is a fairly common situation where I live. Some people work for a startup and are blessed quickly by many shares of a successful stock. Others, like me, work for a company for several years and accumulate stock along the way. The stock covers the entire range of cost basis, as the stock has risen along the way. Either way, people end up with a decent amount of net worth, but in a highly concentrated stock position. Most times, the employee has zero experience with managing this risk.
There are times where I have lost or regained 40% of my net worth in a year by holding on to this stock. I know others in my situation, ranging from $25K to $2 million+.
So... Where do I start? I have read about equity collars, exchange funds, completion funds, etc. I am concerned with diversifying without losing my shirt to taxes. Who are reputable experts I can consult with in this field? Do big company wealth management services like Merrill Lynch provide the right type of advice, or is there a more specialized type of advisor for this?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Has anyone gone from feeling completely out of love with their partner, to feeling in love again?
POST: Hey all. I've (33 yrs) been married for 8 years and have a 6 yr old with my husband (36 yrs old). We were together about a year before we got married. For the past 2 years I haven't felt like I am "in love" with him. I feel kind of indifferent to him. He's okay, I think he's attractive, but I don't really want to have sex with him. Sex feels like a chore, talking to him feels like a chore, I don't really look forward to coming home or spending time with him. I don't DISLIKE him as a person, but I find more things about him that I dislike now than I like. He seems pretty unhappy and I feel like he takes this out on our daughter. He constantly rides her and is almost mean to her and it is sad because he used to be the most amazing father ever, he lived for her happiness.
I want things to work, but pretty much only for my daughter's sake and for practical purposes at this point. I hate the thought of my child coming from a "broken household." He's in school and doesn't have a job so I'm financially supporting us and we still own a house together that if we tried to sell, we'd be in the hole about $30,000 (house value dropped by 1/3 since we bought it).
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My LDR boyfriend (24M) thinks saying he would "fuck the shit out of me" is a compliment & I (22F) don't. Minor argument and now I'm feeling upset.
POST: Hi relationships, using a throwaway for this.
Basically, my bf and I were skyping & he was commenting on how good I looked today, etc. and followed up with if he were here with me right now, he would fuck the shit out of me. I just feel so grimy and gross hearing that phrase applied to me. I told him that it didn't make me feel good when he talked to me like that & how it made me feel gross, and he replied that he isn't some guy on the street, but my boyfriend. Well, sure, but that doesn't really change anything for me. It's still something that makes me feel uncomfortable. He was upset with this and basically sighed heavily and said "fine, I'll never say that to you again." Then a few minutes later, while he was still annoyed, he started muttering "God forbid I want to have sex with my girlfriend." I told him that having sex isn't the issue, it's just the phrase that he used. I told him that if he wants to compliment me, to just leave it at "You look beautiful today", and cut out the "fuck the shit out of you" part.
I just don't think the conversation was handled very well by both of us, and we're not skyping anymore because he left to watch TV (while still in the same room), so I hung up the call. I just feel really sad/distressed about this situation. I know this is such a non-issue issue, but it's just making me feel really down. I don't really know what I'm looking for, I just want some advice or personal experiences from someone else. Thank you.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Advice on career change, tech to law?
POST: So here I am, a Linux Sys Admin of 12 years now, and I've recently gone through an Associate's Degree program, and am set to graduate this Spring with ~3.8GPA. I am very likely going to go on to pursue my Bachelor's as well.
I'm highly considering after I complete my BS, I'm think of going pre-law/law school. I've always had a strong interest/passion in law, and I feel the law field has a definite lack of technical expertise that I could likely find a niche in and excel in.
I'm a very strong Linux SA, but there gets to be a limit to where the career goes, and what you get to learn/know, and many of the tasks are repetitive (which I end up automating). I am very rarely challenged in my current role, and often experience a sense of boredom.
Just hoping to find some good advice, even someone who went through a similar experience (career change), or even someone who has gone from tech to law. What kind of opportunities are there out there for a tech law type?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Probably dumb to ask but I'm [21m] a college senior dating a freshman [18f]. What to do about relationship after I graduate?
POST: We just started dating a two months ago and I just started thinking about how I'm graduating this semester. Basically, it's probably too early to think about this but I really have no idea what to do when I do graduate. Right now, I really like this girl and distance won't be an issue since we go to a local university. But since she's a freshman, I don't want to be the reason for her to miss out on her college experience if we end up staying together for the long term. It's really messing with my head now, even though it's not something I should worry about now. It's also probably that I'm just overthinking and focused on the bad things since our date yesterday didn't go too well. This is our first real relationship btw.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Full-tuition scholarship. I want to use these four years to learn to manage money.
POST: I'm in the enviable position of being part of the last Cooper Union class to receive full tuition scholarships. To make things even better, my family would have been just barely capable of paying for a full private college education without a loan.
I will be spending $11,000 for first year accommodation, and I don't see that figure going down. I estimate I'll spend another $10k for living costs, textbooks, food, and flights back home (I live in India - way to confirm stereotypes).
I have about $5000 of my own savings and in addition to the money my parents will give me to cover expenses, I'll be earning between $50 and $400 per week by tutoring juniors over Skype. Obviously, this is not a huge amount of money and my parents will be helping me out a lot.
What I would appreciate is advice on how to effectively manage my finances/accounts and how to invest my money. I'm lucky that I won't be a slave to debt, and I want to make the most of the headstart.
How should I best plan my spending on food/entertainment/etc? How should I invest my $5000 in a manner that teaches me about investment (I don't mind losing money) in a way so that after 4 years of college, when I start to bring home $60k+ (either here or back in India), I know how to manage my cash and how to invest it well.
I apologise for any problems with my English.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Recently I [21/M] have been having issues with my girl friend [20/F] for 7 months over something mean I did during sex.
POST: Ok so I've been dating this wonderful girl that is smart, gorgeous and everything I want in a partner. Our relationship started of with her going to college three hours away but I still made an effort to see her at least twice a month during weekends.
Our issues started during intercourse when I decided to be an asshole and get mad at her over her not being able to continue to give me my orgasm. I had been going for about thirty minutes and had given her a pretty decent time but I guess she couldn't handle it.
After she mad me stop immediately in the middle of sex she told me that it felt great and I responded with yea for you because you got your pleasure.
I know this was fucked and uncalled for but it was my dick talking honestly I was just caught up in the moment. Ever since this I have tried so hard to make it up to her and it's been three months and she still brings it up. I don't think she is capable of forgiving me and it's making us fall apart.
She has been working a lot this Summer to the point were we don't see each other at all and the last time I saw her she told me she had a thing for a guy she knows at work because I drove her away and she feels the only way she can feel better is to do something to hurt me back.
I honestly don't understand her. I really do love her and did plan on marrying her. She knows that cheating on me is the one thing I won't take her back for so I don't know if she's testing my love for her in a sick twisted way or she is just scarred because of what I did?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How long should you be single before trying to get in another relationship?
POST: Throughout my life, I've probably been single for roughly 6 months between boyfriends. However, I just broke up with a 3 year long boyfriend feeling I wasn't ready to commit any longer, and that I needed to focus on my own life. We had been in a LDR for 8 months, with some time together in the middle, but in the process, I got used to living a single life (apart from the daily skype call). It's only been 3 weeks but I feel like I've been single for many months because of the LDR.
If you could ballpark a number of months one should have between relationships, what would it be, and do you think my situation would be an exception?
I'm asking because I had a date with an amazing guy who seems like he's ready for something serious, but should I say I need to stay casual for the sake of not getting involved too early?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my Ex [18M] duration, short-description
POST: Hey there guys. Quick question because I just need to get some perspective!
So, I have an ex that I still keep in contact with, since the breakup wasn't messy or anything, and seeing him normally doesn't make me feel bad or anything, if we're just hanging out as friends. Sometimes when we hang out we end up making out or cuddling, something like that, but recently we've stopped doing that.
I didn't know he was really doing anything with anyone else or planning to get into another relationship, and today I checked my snapchat to see him with some other guy at a restaurant with their heads against each other. Then, the next picture was them making out.
I know for a fact he only sent it to me (or very few others) since I asked other friends who I knew were on his snapchat if they got the same message, and they said no. Is it just me, or is he being a bit of a douche? I'm not really jealous per se, I just thought it was a pretty mean/jerkish/show-offy thing to do.
Just wondering what you all think.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm about to lose my girlfriend to be some level of friend zoned I don't even fully understand and don't know how to stop it. What can I do to fix this?
POST: First off we are both 18, I'm the guy, she is the girl. We have known each other for ever and finally started to date going 6 months strong and we still really enjoy each others company. We are bout to leave for school and she thinks we need to take a break to meet new people and experience the world, but hey at least we can stay friends. Yay... Keep in mind we are going to the same school.
I really don't want to let go. I'm definitely the friend-zonable type, sweet, not a douche, sort of too goofy to be datable, I listen, all of it. I've been friend-zoned more times than Id like to count.
I guess we haven't really been together long enough for me to say I love her, but still it's at least the closest I've ever felt to love. I really like this girl. A lot more than I thought I would've and I feel like we could be very serious together. I've even put actual thought into marrying this girl one day, which is the first I've ever really considered that in my life.
One of the biggest reasons I don't want to leave her is because she's had bad relationships with complete assholes before, and I don't want her to go back to that. I'm just as scared for her as am to lose her..
I've known about this plan to break up since the beginning of our relationship, but that doesn't make this any easier. She's admitted herself that she really does not want to break up, but still feels it's the best for us. Maybe I'm just to attached and need to just learn to let go, even if it does suck. I don't know.
What should I do reddit?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im an 18 year old guy i just want to meet a cool girl at like an arcade or something i dont like any of the girls i see everyday where are the girls that will sit around watching ed edd and eddy with me and laugh and make fun of each-other.
POST: i haven't had any interest in a girl for a while. i see a lot of girls that i think are pretty and i look at girls a lot and think about how pretty they are. but no matter how good they look I'm not interested in them because they are boring to me.
my dream girl is like a crazy artist girl who has ideas and can talk to me and make me laugh and think but i haven't found any girls like this. sometimes i think to myself like where do i think i could find the kind of girls i imagine when I'm thinking about what kind of girl would make me happy and i think i might want to meet a girl at an arcade or in a weird store or just see her smoking a joint while I'm walking through the park late at night and smoke with her and have high talk with her. idk does this kind of girl exist???
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [41 F] with my best friend [40/F] - Her unwillingness to break from kid is ridiculous
POST: I have been best friends with "Julie" since high school. We both got married in our 30 - I am childfree by choice, she has two kids, an 8-year old autistic girl (very high functioning, mostly just a chatterbox who is a bit quirky) and an infant.
We used to have lunch once a week. She is desperate for a break, I would say verge of a nervous breakdown. Both her kids co-sleep and don't care for the dad, so she is not able to go out at night - ever.
She is begging me to have lunch. I say -- ANYTIME! But now she keeps saying "The 8 year old is crying, she wants to come with us, she complains she never gets to go with us to lunch" (it has been a year since we had lunch).
Then she puts the kid on the phone with me so I can listen to her cry, "I want to go to lunch with mommy and auntie, I never get to go, I will be so sad."
If we go to lunch with the kid, for one, it is NOT a break for her. For two, the kid will monopolize the entire lunch. She is able to sneak away for lunch with babysitting support from husband one day a week. I want it to be the both of us.
Am I a heartless bitch? Part of me doesn't want to deal, because that is not my idea of a very relaxing lunch for me -- but, I am happy to suck it up and do it for MY FRIEND, but I know this is NO break for her, either.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] and [20M] is heading away for college after a three year relationship
POST: We have been together for three years in what I consider to be a serious relationship. She is heading ~3000 miles across the country to attend college.
Everyone always says long distance doesn't work and is not worth trying, but I want to marry this girl one day. I know neither of us are financially stable (I am going to college as well) so that isn't viable at this point in the relationship.
We have talked about it and I clarified if she wants to try something different she needs to just let me go. She is an honest person, and she told me she doesn't want anything different right now and she won't cheat on me (I know this for sure).
Our relationship over three years has had its ups and downs but I would definitely say more up than down. We rarely fight, and everything is almost always going smoothly.
Is it worth trying to stay together? I am going to be flying out there nearly once a month to see her and with technology we can obviously see each other whenever we want over webcam.
If it is worth staying together, do you have any tips? And if it is not, what is your justification?
Thank You!
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: In light of the Moronic Cop thread, I think it is only fair that we show the other side of the story. So Reddit, what are your best awesome cop stories?
POST: Maybe not too awesome, but I've always thought it was cool. So we're in the car, on our way to visit my mom's parents, who live in a small town where nearly everyone is related in one way or another. As we pull into town, our mom continues to go about 15 miles over the limit. Cop pulls us over, walks up, asks for license, registration, etc. As he's writing the ticket, he starts up a conversation with our mom, asking her where we were headed. She said we were headed here, to her parents house. He asks who her parents are, and she tells him. He stops writing, looks at her and says, "really? That means you're my cousin! Have a nice day. He then crumples up the ticket and drives away.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my Uncle [63 M], destroying his life by giving his money to scammers
POST: My uncle, who is in his 60s around two years ago had about $50K to his name from an inheritance, but has given a majority of it to scammers from the Philippines. For additional background, I'm in my 20s, and my parents are in their 60s and are upper-middle class. The uncle is my mother's brother. He has had a lot of mental illnesses since childhood, but has never been diagnosed, and works as (ironically) a behavioral therapist. He hasn't been financially or mentally stable enough to live in an actual apartment or house, he lives in long-term hotels and has for almost a decade now.
He doesn't really understand computers, so I've set up and manage passwords for all of his email and social networking accounts, and recently came across a yearlong (or more) history of him sending money to a scammer in the Philippines that has now totaled in the tens of thousands, rapidly depleting his net worth. He isn't legally insane, so there is no chance we can acquire financial power of attorney, and such a process would likely be quite difficult. My parents and I worry greatly that he will turn to us when he runs out of money and neither want to abandon him nor ruin our lives taking care of him.
We've tried speaking to him about it, and he denies it... but I have access to his email account and my parents home is his permanent mailing address (as you can't send bank statements to a hotel), so they see that most of his money is being sent as Western Union transfers.
Do people have any general advice? Thanks so much!
(X-posted with /r/family before I realized it was a less popular sub)
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [23 F] of 2 years, how do you recognize love?
POST: So I've been with this amazing girl (let's call her Kim) for 2 years now, and for the past month I feel like the honeymoon period is over and I've started having doubts about my love for her, which is driving me crazy.
Kim is amazing in every way and I definitely feel lucky to be with her. She's insanely cute, she's madly in love with me, I enjoy every second spent with her, and in the intimate side I like kissing her, cuddling with her, laying in bed next to her, even the sex is amazing.
She's basically all I've ever wanted and I would definitely see myself spending the rest of my life with her, and I know she does too.
But for the past month, when I look at her I can't feel the infatuated love that I was feeling before. When I see her coming to my house, it went from "Yes! My love is here!" to "Oh hey that's Kim". She became, in my mind, my best friend (with benifits): with whom I can be myself, laugh and have fun, share my feelings with her... but is that love?
These doubts about my love for her are driving me crazy. I've started to think maybe she deserves better, then once I imagine breaking up with her, I start having anxiety attacks because I really don't want to lose her.
So how do you recognize love? Do you always need to feel the belly "butterflies" when you see her to know you're in love? Or is simply knowing you're lucky to be with this fantastic girl enough to say that you love her?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my husband [29M] 2 years, I think he has no emotions.
POST: I think my husband might actually not feel emotions.
When we were dating, he loved to talk to me, in fact would ask me multiple times a day to call just to chat, he texted me 24/7, conversation was great, he was very attentive and always complimented me. Now, he hates me to even ask him a simple question. If I say something to him, he doesn't make eye contact, and rarely responds with more than two or three words, many times will just grunt yes or no.
When I ask him how he feels (I've tried wording it many different ways) he says "I don't know." If I ask how work was, I barely get one sentence out of him. He says he feels no emotions at all. He often smiles at very strange times, and I ask if he found something funny and he says no. He doesn't really have hobbies. He just browses the internet. Occasionally he will show me an article he finds on reddit or something. But he can't answer any questions about himself and doesn't want to know anything about me. He never initiates any type of interaction with me. I feel like he may as well not even be here.
He has been this way since we got married. I thought he was depressed but he's tried different types of medication and none has worked. Therapy doesn't work. He gave his therapist permission to talk to me and the therapist said he doesn't even talk when he goes. He basically says some form of "I don't know" to everything anyone asks him.
I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. Reddit, I am so sad and frustrated. Where did my husband go? It's like he doesn't exist anymore. How do I get him to come back?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Did I [25/M] cheat on my girlfriend? (cam site)
POST: I used to occasionally use live cam porn sites before I had a girlfriend and had never really before considered the differences between porn and live cams. My girlfriend is out of town, and last night I came home from a bar, pretty drunk. I got home, started looking at porn, and a cam site popup came up. I saw a girl that was attractive, and started browsing cams. Without really thinking about it I paid credits and joined a room.
The girl took her clothes off and requested my cam. I turned it on. She said I was handsome, etc, and she started asking personal questions about me.
At this point I began to feel uncomfortable, and realized that this was more personal than just pornography. I love my girlfriend, and I realized we were rapidly moving into territory that I only want to share with her.
I stayed in the room for another minute or two. Although she was naked, she didn't start her show, and I didn't request for her to do anything. I passively answered a few questions, then told her I have a girlfriend and I shouldn't be doing this. I said good bye and signed off.
After signing off, I was still drunk and aroused, so I finished while looking at her preview pics. I immediately felt regret, and all day today I have been wondering if this counts as cheating. I feel terrible, and I don't know how my girlfriend will react when she comes back. Do my actions last night amount to cheating?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing a drinking game at a birthday party
POST: This actually happened early this year but whatever.
I was at a 20/21st joint birthday party and as parties go we play a drinking game called Never have I ever. For those who aren't familiar with the game you go round in a group and state something you have never done and if you have done it you must drink. It is designed to more or less humiliate players in the group. e.g. I never skinny dipped in the pool. Here's where I ultimately fuck up.
Now I'm the kind of person that tends to have a dark sense of humour that is usually deeply suppressed until after a couple of drinks and so when it came to my turn I say to which I regret to this day.. 'Never have I ever...tried to kill myself!'
A split second later I realized I have completely ruined the atmosphere and what couldn't have been even worse was out of nowhere one of the girls of the group raised her hand and drank. Then through the awkwardness of the situation I laughed.
Shortly afterwards I apologized to the girl and she was very open about it and said what was done was past behind her and that she is functioning well.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[m20] need a bit of help dealing with bf[m26]'s moving away and our inevitable breakup.
POST: My boyfriend of a year and some change is moving somewhere(for grad school, he's not sure exactly where he got into yet) far away in about 4 months. I'm going back and forth on how I feel about it, which is normal. I am just looking for some help from someone who has been in a similar situation. We've talked about it a few times and, though it's hard, it's went pretty well. A LDR is not really in the cards; I don't think either of us think it's a good idea.
The problem is, obviously, that I don't want this to happen. I am very much in love with him and the love seems to be growing, not diminishing, as our "deadline" approaches. I can feel myself getting needier and wanting to be around him more the further we get. I've had a few dark years prior to my getting together with him in which I was Very depressed and alone despite having a solid group of friends and the like. This is my first real relationship and I'm just at a loss for what to do. Looking for any advice.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20F] Spending 7 weeks apart from new boyfriend [20M] of three months; how to keep relationship strong?
POST: My boyfriend and I met each other in January, started hooking up in March, and it was clear early on we both had serious feelings for the other. Things progressed quickly from hooking up every night to dating within a month, and by mid-May we were in a relationship. For the past month we've been seeing each other every day, have both met each others' parents, and have essentially been living together in the same city. I left for 7 weeks of study abroad yesterday, and saying goodbye to him was the first time he's seen me cry since we met.
We're not staying exclusive while I'm gone because he was concerned we didn't have the solid foundation on which to build a long-distance exclusive relationship and was worried he would start resenting me while alone in the city he's in. All along, I've been the one more concerned about exclusivity, but I said that I took him at his word that us staying exclusive while I'm gone would be harmful. As I was leaving, he said that the absence might be a good thing, as we've spent so much time together in the past month that both of us have forgotten what it's like to miss the other.
That said, I'm worried that an absence almost as long as the duration of our relationship is going to lead to overthinking and fizzling. Any advice as to how I can keep our feelings for each other strong while I'm gone? I really like this guy and don't want the good thing we had to have died over the long break. This is my first seemingly serious relationship (he dated his HS GF for three years) and I really want to make it work.
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SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Study Backlog / Focus issues. Have got 1 month to save the semester with no notes and minimal understanding of what is going on. Is it possible? Tips and tricks?
POST: My first term of uni's almost over. I've been trying very hard since week 1 to be on track, gave up 90% of my social commitments, but somehow couldn't bring myself to finish my work over the week so I've gone for tutorials without knowing what was going on. I attend my lectures but I don't necessarily understand them - I record them and play them back; sometimes I take 3 hours to go through a lecture that is 1 hour - would attribute it to an inability to focus. I haven't had the time to make notes (barely have time to finish the reading)...Anyway, everything adds up and now I have a huge pile of work to clear, no notes, and I'm pretty much panicking. I've got about 3 weeks to do something about this - but I'm afraid it may not be enough/ I've got no idea how I can maximise my time
Past threads gave very good study advice, but would be better suited to students just starting school, rather than someone in this situation.
Created a throwaway because frankly I'm really embarrassed about this and I think I may have slight depression - I've been crying nights and having panic attacks in the middle of the day where I can't breathe and have to spend hours calming myself down. It's so stupid to try so hard but end up with nothing at the end of the day...
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: First time I have the potential for a relationship; not sure how to proceed. Advice needed.
POST: So I'm a junior at university (just turned 20, male), and a couple weekends ago I made out with a freshman girl (17, turning 18 in a couple weeks). When the party was over, I asked her if I'd see her again, and she mentioned that we would see a movie together that we had been talking about at the party.
Since then, I've met her one more time. We took a walk through the nature trail behind campus where we kissed again. After that, we went back to her dorm and chatted for a while over iced coffee. We kissed goodbye, and I told her I'd take her though the small town just off campus this week. She seemed happy to do that.
Thing is, we were supposed to do that this past week. I texted her a few times earlier and throughout the week to set a date, but she explained that her courseload was picking up and it would prove difficult to meet for now. Ok, no issue. I tried to set up the town plan for this coming weekend, but she informed me she'd be going home to see family. So now we havn't seen each other in over a week, and if we manage to see each other in this coming week it will have been a couple weeks since our last date.
Is she maybe not sure about dating? I've been thinking perhaps because she's only a freshman she doesn't want to get into a relationship too soon; but rather get used to college life first and experience all it has to offer. I've never been in a relationship before and hoped this would work out, but now I'm not so sure.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Finally, some good news after the worst 6 weeks of my life
POST: Hi, I am a M/33 and after developing a blood clot in my leg, losing my job, my relationship, traveling across the country three times and couch surfing all over the place. I finally heard that my employer has agreed to a decent lump sum settlement. I can finally settle down. You have no idea how
difficult things have been. Now I can even try to regain my relationship, I have time to heal and I can get my own place.
It is ironic because I was literally going to kill myself the day before I found out about the settlement. I was just hit so hard by life and I lost all my strength. Fortunately, I met a stranger and opened my mouth. He convinced me to have some drinks and I passed out before I could tie the noose.
God really pushed me hard before giving me relief. Now I just have to wait a few days to collect my money and get started living again.
My questions is this: After my GF 25/F saw me tank in mental attitude, hope and strength. After, her image of me being a strong man has been shattered by these things, how is the best way for me to approach her so that our relationship can grow and we can be together again.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[16M] with my girlfriend [17F]. When I do something wrong she posts to tumblr about it and denys the post is about me.
POST: Basically whenever I do something wrong that annoys her she posts something to tumblr but then fervently lies and denies it being about me which it obviously is because in some cases its 30seconds after it happens. An example of this is last night she was saying how much she wanted to buy a camera and I was being a dick and I was really condescending to her (I said do you even know what the sensor is?). I said sorry and I go to check her tumblr like I usually do after things like this happen and there is a post 30seconds ago.
> did I ask?
> #ffs
I'm not exactly emotionally or mentally stable and she is the most supporting girlfriend but everytime she does this it really kills me. Its worse because she lies and denies it and I can't trust her about it.
I've talked to her about this before but the conversation usually dies out and nothing gets fixed. I brought it up last night and she said it was about her mum and then said "Well its the truth so don't believe it if you don't want to" but she even admitted that it was ambiguous enough to be about me.
__________________________
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I am a transsexual and need help! (not started in any way along the transition) also feel free to AMAA
POST: I am currently "male," however I do not wish to be. Ever since I can remember I have felt like a girl, a tom boyish girl but a girl. I believe my family will come to terms with it eventually, even my two brothers. The question I have is what should I do about my girlfriend? we have been dating for 2 years. During this time I have been trying to suppress my feelings, thinking that maybe they would go away but they have grown and I feel more now than ever that I should transition. I have told her that I love her (and I do love her) and I told her that I want to marry her and have kids (this is the lie). I thought that I could learn to want this. I don't want to be like this, I feel like a freak at times, but I cannot help how I feel. The main reason I'm asking reddit is because we are currently in college and I was wondering if I should wait until the end of the semester or until the end of our senior year? I don't want to hurt her I do love her, she is my best friend, I'm just not in love with her. I don't want to cause her to become depressed and have troubles in school or flunk out, I do believe that is a possibility. She is madly in love with me and I know when I come out it will break her heart, I don't want it to ruin her life if she drops out, but at the same time I don't want to wait as the longer it goes on the more it will hurt her when I tell her. I also don't want to wait too long as I am 21 now and the longer I wait the harder it will be to transition successfully. So reddit, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can Anyone Help With My Priceline Reservation?
POST: Hey there Reddit. I am feeling pretty hopeless right now, and am looking for someone to do me a huge favor. Here is the scenario:
I plan on going to Jackson, WY to climb the Grand Teton with my stepmom for her 60th birthday (she is awesome btw). Problem is I tried using the Priceline 'Name Your Own Price' Reservation, which said you cannot change, cancel, or refund your ticket.
Then this morning I had the, "OH S$%#" moment, because I forgot that my girlfriend's family is having a huge celebration for her grandparent's 60 wedding anniversary. The whole family is coming from across the country to meet up and will probably be the last time the family will be together like this. I thought the party was the weekend before, but it turns out they are getting in town a week early and the party is the next week. So, I am in quite a rough situation.
So, I am hoping and praying that there is someone out there who can cancel my ticket reservation or help me get some kind or reimbursement or voucher for it towards another flight - or any type of help! I realize I am going to lose money, and I will cash out my meager savings in order to not disappoint her and avoid the stress of the whole situation. I called Priceline's customer service multiple times, but they couldn't do anything for me.
If anyone can help me with a Priceline 'Name Your Own Price' cancellation I would be forever grateful.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My brother has a mild case of aspergers and needs some help with his interpersonal skills. Any advice, reddit?
POST: My brother has a mild case of aspergers. It doesn't really affect his ability to learn, aside from the fact that he needs some extra time on tests and things of that sort, but he has a really hard time making friends and I worry about him.
He has a fear of opening up to people that comes from his disorder and from terrible bullying throughout elementary school and middle school, and that fear causes him to behave strangely. All those years of missed social interaction leaves him with the interpersonal skills of someone much younger. Things like carrying a conversation and talking to strangers are very difficult for him. The bullying as a child caused him to retreat to video games as his only real hobby, and now he really can't talk to anybody about much else. My mother is now calling on me, the "social butterfly" of the family to help him out, and I really don't know what to do. I've somehow managed to have a great group of friends but I don't know how to help someone do the same.
He has just come home from his first year of college, and he has absolutely nothing to do. He never really had that close of high school friends, and the same goes for college so he has nobody aside from me and my mother to talk to. Any advice or experience you have would be wonderful.
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SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Is there a subtle way I can find out if taking this job would violate my noncompete?
POST: I am considering taking a job at a company, but my current company made me sign a noncompete. I am in an industry where trade secrets are taken pretty seriously, and my role has exposed me to some of those. The language of the noncompete says I cannot work for any company that is a "direct competitor". Frankly, I really don't _think_ the new company is a direct competitor, but I can kinda sorta see how they might _arguably_ compete on a particular product line.
Now, the new company's legal department reviewed my noncompete and said they'd be okay with hiring me, but if my old company did anything to threaten legal action during the noncompete period, they'd be forced to fire me to avoid a legal battle. So essentially, if they did so much as send a cease and desist letter, I'd be out of a job.
These companies sometimes attend functions together, and people talk, so I don't think I can count on them never finding out I went to work there. Ideally, I would like to find out if working there would violate my noncompete BEFORE accepting the offer. But asking legal/HR that question might raise some red flags, and I might lose both jobs.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Non-Romantic] I [18F] am considering moving out because of my mom [38F]
POST: So I am going away to college in two months, and my mom is not handling this well at all. Our relationship had been better than ever the past few months, but I asked her to schedule me an appointment for my anxiety issues a week ago and didn't want to talk to her about it (because of anxiety) and she is very angry and hurt because of it. She thinks I don't talk to her about what's going on in my life, and even if that's true, it seems like a very weird thing to get so angry about that now I don't want to talk to her at all. From the way she's acting I'm pretty sure she's never going to let me leave anymore and I have a trip planned at the end of this month that she had already approved and I'm going on it no matter what she says.
My boyfriend is going to the same college as I am, and his parents love me and told my boyfriend last night that if things get bad I am totally welcome in their house until August when we leave. I don't know whether I should take them up on this. I want nothing more than to leave, and I'm 18 and will be gone in 2 months anyway. I'm just worried about what she will do, and I don't want our relationship to be destroyed... Not that we're doing so great right now. I just want someone's more grown up opinion on whether I should try to stick it out while my mom probably puts me on lock down for 2 months.
Another note, I have had a job for 3 years and am basically independent other than sleeping under her roof, and my college is almost entirely paid for my scholarships. All my boyfriend's family would be giving me is a place to stay.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By doing the laundry wrongly for a year and a half
POST: So Im the one that usually does the laundry (wife does it every once in a while but I have more time to do it since im on rotating shifts) anyway this TIFU was finally discovered yesterday, as usual I went to put in a load and when I was about to add the detergent the instructions on the washers lid finally won my attention and I read it... I had been throwing the detergent on top of the clothes but this washer needs it first thing at the bottom... Holy shit! I've been doing it wrong for over a year and a half, its not like my clothes had ever been dirty or smelly but now I can really tell theyre clean and the scent of detergent is present on things as it should be, I figure I was only getting 20% effectiveness out of the way I was doing it, shit im dumb sometimes.
I guess it pays to read the instructions sometimes.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Wife went from submissive and caring to dominant and bitchy.
POST: We've been together for 3 years, married for 1.
For the first 1.5 years of our relationship she was kind and respectful. She acknowledged me as the man of the relationship and I was treated as such. I personally require this responsibility of leadership of the relationship in order to be happy in life.
After a bad business venture lasting about a year, during which she was away from her family, we were working every day, not getting much income, and other stresses, she transformed. She transformed into a pseudo-dominant bitch. At this point in life when she gets mad (which is literally at everything I do or say, because LOGICAL thinking and RESPONSIBILITY seem to both piss her off.) she will not hesitate to tell me to fuck off right to my face or to shut up.
I cannot tolerate this much longer. Most of the time we get along fine, we laugh and joke. But she's never more than 3 seconds from a bipolar bitchfit.
99% of our fights come from her wanting to spend money on something (like eating out for the 10th time this week) and me expressing my opinion that we don't have the money and shouldn't. We don't have much money and we really haven't all our relationship but unfortunately her upbringing has her living in a dream world where money grows on trees. I am a very logical thinker, I do not make decisions based on emotion. This made me a fine leader of the relationship. Now with her new self, we butt heads about everything in this "power struggle" about decision making.
Is there any recovery from this?
I don't understand how two socially dominant people (which she absolutely is not, it's an act. Akin to a toddler at the wheel of a car) can function in a relationship.
Is there any hope of regaining my manhood and respect in this relationship? if so, how?
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Reddit, I quit my job due to sexual harassment. Now what? (x-post AskReddit)
POST: I work for a private company doing labor work. It's me (21 yo female), my sister (25), and our supervisor/boss/owner.
He has made several passes at me in the past two months I've worked there. Asking me to be his girlfriend, calling me "sexy" "baby" "bombshell", asking me for some alone time, one-on-one work, just constantly bugging me. I've asked him to cool it, told him no and to please stop, and yesterday when I called to see if he needed me at work he said "only if you wear that little blue dress from the other day" referring to when I picked up my paycheck. I told him no and showed up in my shorts and T-shirt. When I arrived he said he was disappointed and started again with the pet names, making an hourglass shape with his hands. My sister told him he needed to stop and he was being inappropriate. I told him that was enough, finished the car I was detailing, and left.
I live in Oregon. So far I've contacted •Occupational Safety & Health
•EEOC
•Women's Bureau
•National Center for Victims of Crime •Department of Human Services
•Bureau of Labor & Industries
•Attorney Referral
•Unemployment
•Lawyers
•Discrimination Department (some of those are not the official names but that's where I sought help)
What I've learned so far is that in order to do a lawsuit, I have to go through BOLI (bureau of labor and industries) to file a complaint. That process takes up to three months and BOLI representatives told me I do not have sufficient evidence. He has his own video cameras in the garage, but my only witness is my sister. I'm looking into receiving unemployment but for the time being I have no job, no money, and no case.
Reddit, what do I do now?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Ear pain, saw the doctor today. On decongestants due to the absence of an infection, any remedies to help with the pain until it clears?
POST: Hey, this is just a very minor thing. I'm a 16 year old male, 6 ft, 155 lbs, white. I swim competitively, so I am in a lot of contact with water. I had some pain about a week ago, bought some swimmer's ear drops, and it cleared up. Pain came back in both ears yesterday, and I was taking ibuprofen so I could go through finals without distractions. I went to see the doc today and she seemed pretty calm about the whole thing. She said the ears weren't infected, and that the Eustachian tubes were probably blocked. I've taken 2 tablets of pseudoephedrine HCl as a decongestant, and the pain in one ear has lessened a good deal. The remaining pain still is apparent when I swallow and it does feel like there is pressure on the ear. After all of this backstory, I was just wondering is there are any remedies to help lessen this pain or address the problem. For example, would any from this list
work well or are there any to avoid for my state?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [M17] help my depressed GF [F17] and stay with her?
POST: My girlfriend of six months goes to school in the same town as me. I go to a boarding school, she goes to a day school.
We can usually see each other either once or twice a week during term time and similarly infrequently in the holidays.
She has mental health issues which she has never spoken properly to anyone about. She used to self-harm several years ago but now just feels 'shit and empty' a lot of the time.
I try to give her advice and put myself in her situation so that she'll go to a therapist or councillor about it, but she never does and just says that I'm being patronizing.
She says that I seem patronizing too often and that she's bored of me asking how she is over text. I say that I only do it to check she's ok because I worry about her.
We recently found out that the universities we are going to are 250 miles away from each other because she didn't get into her first choice. We're both happy to try long-distance but I've said that I want to hold on to her and enjoy the next few months regardless of the future.
We had a long phone call last night when we both openly criticised the other, which doesn't often happen, and I feel so shit waking up this morning.
I put in everything I can and try to make sure she's OK but I don't know if I'm meant to be a coping mechanism or a constant source of reassurance or what.
I know I am young and naive but please don't be patronizing to me in your advice. This girl was my first kiss (tragic, I know) and is the first person I've ever felt like this about. I don't want to lose her over something I can't control.
I have no idea if she's planning on breaking up with me or what but I need some advice as to how to cope. Ask questions if you need to or PM me or whatever, I just need someone to help me help her and help me make her happy and smiley again like she used to be.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think my girlfriend [20] may have borderline personality disorder. How should I handle this?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. I have researched borderline personality disorder and I believe she exhibits the majority of the symptoms. I am nervous about bringing this up to her for a few reasons.
I'm not a doctor and I am far from certain about this. Also, she already has a negative self image and I don't want to make that even worse by telling her the person closest to her thinks she has a problem. She tends to over think things and I know if I told her this, it would constantly bother her for a long period of time.
I am considering not mentioning the borderline personality disorder part and just recommending she begin attending therapy again. She went to a few sessions a year ago but then stopped going.
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Pennsylvania] Obtaining Police Reports On Myself
POST: About two years ago, I split with an ex who owed me money. The money is a separate matter, but her response to me starting legal proceedings in regard to it was to file police reports against me for harassment among other things.
I was directly contacted by the police department in regard to one report. In the context of the conversation with the officer, it was apparent that my ex had fabricated at least some things. I asked the officer for a copy of the report and I was told I couldn't have one.
It may not have been a good decision, but in light of the reports and bad experiences with my ex in general, I decided to just drop everything and move on with my life.
My concern now, however, is that her reports may show on background checks, as I'm currently looking for a new job. Is there a way I can view these reports?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to get out of an assignment
POST: So.. TIFU about fifteen minutes ago, when I was doing my 2000 word essay for school. I'm just sitting there, procrastinating away, about 400 words in. I have a glass of water in my hand, and I just think to myself, 'If I was to just.. give this glass of water.. the slightest tip.. I would have the perfect excuse for not doing this essay' (Keep in mind that this is very late at night and I'm incredibly sleep deprived). I have one hand supporting my face, and in one hand the glass of water. I start playing with the glass of water, tilting it so that it's almost tipping all the water out, then straightening it, then tipping it again (I'm so freakin bored). Guess what happens next? I accidentally tip half the fucking glass all over my keyboard. I PANIC SO FUCKING MUCH. I stand up frantically and hit my knee under the table (pretty hard), and I fall back onto my chair. I'm having a panic attack now. I grab the laptop, tip all the water out of it, shake it and wipe the keyboard on my bed. It's fucked. It's DEFINTELY fucked. I'm DEFINTELY FUCKED. But didn't I want this? I still have to do the damn assignment, but now I'll have an excuse for an extension. I don't think that a week's extension was worth a thousand dollars and all my work that I've done all semester. Then I realise.. whew.. that's all right.. my semester's work is fine.. it's all on Dropbox. It's all on Dropbox. It's all on Dropbox? IT'S ALL ON DROPBOX! ALL MY FUCKING WORK IS ON DROPBOX!
-_- kill me right now
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