conversation id,subreddit,post title,author,dialog turn,text,compound,sentiment,emotion prediction
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,speaker,1,"*** **All names have been changed to protect the guilty** ***  It's been two days since my meltdown subsided. I spent the better part of yesterday feeling numb, which is par for the course. I'm doing even better today. I spent the first half hour of waking up laying on the couch reading my news feed and browsing Reddit instead of sleeping for 2-3 hours.  Anyway, as I sit here listening to music and sifting through the events of the past three weeks, I've come to the realization that my need to talk to people and tell them things critical about themselves and others is actually my desire to cause drama and push them away. The problem is that I originally identified this as a part of my personality that was ""outgoing"". I've always described myself to people that I can oscillate between introvert and extrovert, but maybe I'm actually just an introvert that uses my extrovertedness to start shit with my friends.  What just brought this revelation about is that this morning I decided to explain to Tom, a friend of mine, that I have BPD to explain my past outbursts. (We've been friends for about four years and he's never witnessed a full blown meltdown, he's only gotten brief exposure to dickish episodes that I have learned to acknowledge and suppress in relative short time.) Well, maybe since a year ago, Jen (his wife), decided to go full steam ""BFF"" mode with my wife. My wife, Lauren, isn't the kind of ""girly-girl"" that his wife is: shopping, pedi/mani's, dishing on other friends/family over a bottle of wine, you get the idea.  Recently, Jen has been distancing herself from our group of friends (Lauren and I are the focal point, we've brought together an awesome group of 30-something couples who are all at varying degrees of in long term relationships: some are married with kids, other are engaged on the verge of marriage). One of the couples (Pete and Alyssa) is getting married in February, and they invited all of our friends, to the point where, despite Tom and Jen living over an hour away, are going to the wedding. Yet, Jen has declined to attend both the bridal shower and the bachelorette party with seriously see through excuses. I mean, stupid bullshit excuses (she's a terrible liar). Furthermore, she's also taken to a fellow mom at her daughter's school and now plasters FaceBook with status updates and photos of the two of them and how they're BFF's. To be honest, Jen is the most immature of all of our group and seems to still be stuck in high school mode.  After explaining my illness to Tom this morning, I had the overwhelming urge to tell him that we've noticed Jen's behavior and that it hurts us. Lauren says to just drop it and let Jen be Jen, but it bothers me that she's alienating herself. I recognize that this is tickling my BPD and it really wants this to be the catalyst in pushing them away from us because her pulling away is a form of abandonment.  ARRRGGHHH! I'm maintaining cool, though. I see the situation for what it is, and am trying to ride the waves until they dissipate. Listening to Imagine Dragons helps. :-) Sorry for the wall of text.  TL;DR My BPD is attempting to use a friend pulling away as an excuse to push her and her husband away from me and I'm having difficulty in not opening my mouth to spark off an episode.",0.9654,positive,lonely
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,listener_1,2,"You can't control someone else's behavior.  One of the things that us with *PD do, is obsess over another person's behavior, and how we can possibly change it. We have this black and white thinking, and as much as we want to 'call out' this person's behavior, we can't.  It might not fit our value system, but we have to respect that person, and remember that they go through bad times as well, and that this might be there way of coping with their bad times.  My two cents.",-0.7289,negative,angry
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,speaker,3,"I totally understand all of that. It's the reason I haven't said anything to him/them :-)  I'm just frustrated that she's pulling away from us. I guess I can rationalize losing her because she's highly judgmental and very annoying. This isn't just me being judgmental of *her*, I'm not the only one that sees this trait of hers. Her judgment of others wears me down when I'm around her. I love her husband, I just can't stand her. She used to tell everyone that we were twins because we both hate people. I've made strides in the last fourteen years to be a positive person and to accept people for their faults (we all have them). Occasionally, I would get passionate and judgmental of others, and she recognized this commonality in us. But I don't want to be like that and she revels (wallows?) in it. My wife and I have decided to just drop it (like it's that easy with BPD!) and move on.  Thanks for the reply!",0.9178,positive,agreeing
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,listener_2,4,"I have a bad habit of completely cutting people out of my life when they fail to live up my expectations which has resulted in isolation and loneliness. I try to remind myself that I am in no position to judge others, that I don't know what that person is going through. Everyone has their own story,  whether they choose to share it with us or not...",-0.923,negative,trusting
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,speaker,5,"At least you're aware that you do it and that you try to not judge others! There's plenty of people out there that suffer from BPD and don't even consider the idea that it's THEM who cause the splits and not their friends and family. Hell, I've cut my parents off numerous times throughout my life. I didn't talk to them for six months after my daughter was born because they didn't come to the hospital to see her when she was born. Granted, we weren't really speaking at the time because my mother and sister insisted on throwing the baby shower and didn't lift a finger for planning it until the last minute. two weeks before the shower, I ripped it away from them and handed it over to some friends of ours.  You've come a long way in that you can identify that it's you! Don't give up. I believe in you. And most of all, I love you. I don't know you, but I know exactly what you're going through, and that makes a bond tighter than anything. ",-0.4236,negative,ashamed
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,listener_2,6,"shit son, tears me up. thanks :) right back atcha. glad I have this forum to be thoroughly honest. Since I started going to AA and regularly seeing a psychologist about four or five months ago, I've gained this erie self-awareness that kinda creeps me out. I've learned so much about myself and it really helps to be able to talk about it with people who get where I'm coming from. Sometimes when I'm honest about how I'm feeling, others find it disturbing. Nice to know we aren't alone.  ",0.9479,positive,embarrassed
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,speaker,7,"No problem! Glad I could help.   One of the toughest things for us to do is to admit that we cause those we love and care about so much pain because of our own pain. If you can work past the guilt and shame and face that cold, hard truth, it makes it easier.  As for your honesty with your feelings, I'll never find it disturbing BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE. Hell, I was just there this past Sunday. You're never alone, and I'll never judge you for your thoughts or actions.   If you need to talk, I'm here. Like, literally. I live on Reddit. I have at least six accounts all for different aspects of my life that I don't want bleeding into each other. I'm also hopelessly addicted to my smart phone and check Reddit nigh religiously.",0.7279,positive,trusting
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,speaker,8,"No problem! Glad I could help.   One of the toughest things for us to do is to admit that we cause those we love and care about so much pain because of our own pain. If you can work past the guilt and shame and face that cold, hard truth, it makes it easier.  As for your honesty with your feelings, I'll never find it disturbing BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE. Hell, I was just there this past Sunday. You're never alone, and I'll never judge you for your thoughts or actions.   If you need to talk, I'm here. Like, literally. I live on Reddit. I have at least six accounts all for different aspects of my life that I don't want bleeding into each other. I'm also hopelessly addicted to my smart phone and check Reddit nigh religiously.",0.7279,positive,trusting
1,MentalHealthSupport,[BPD] Difficulty in avoiding drama,listener_2,9,"lol, ya... this reddit thing is kinda getting outta hand. I've got such an addictive personality!! thanks, I really appreciate it. samers :)",0.935,positive,acknowledging
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,speaker,1,I thought maybe we should just do a thread to support each other in our own individual recovery goals as well as generally how people are feeling.,0.6486,positive,suggesting
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_1,2,"I'm not suicidal but I really, *really* don't like myself. To the point of physical discomfort and thoughts of self harm. Today has just been that kind of day.   As far as recovery goes, I'm on meds that work that I absolutely hate taking and I'm not in therapy. My therapist emailed me about getting a session when I haven't been to see her in close to two months. She straight up stopped contact with me, citing a sickness that struck her. I believe she truly was sick, but it still feels like she abandoned me.   All I do is work, sleep, small amount of Destiny(video game), and duolingo (learning Danish for fun). I don't even play my guitar and I have no one to hang out with. The one person that talks to me daily won't take a hint and ask me on a date. Even though he says he really likes me. I won't ask him because the last few relationships I've had, I asked first. I'm sick of it.  I'm over worked, sleeping way too much (nearly 12 hours every night), and lonely as **fuck**. That's enough bitching. Not like anyone cares.  /rant.",-0.9911,negative,disappointed
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_2,3,A qualified psychologist who specializes in DBT and childhood trauma really helps me to get through the week.,0.024,neutral,grateful
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_1,4,"First session of therapy, I was shaking uncontrollably and on the verge of throwing up. But I did it. It was worth it, too. I deal with crushing anxieties, so I can relate to what you're saying. My advice is to just have a running monologue in your head that this is going to help. That you're going to feel relieved and that eventually you'll be more at peace. If not for yourself, for your kid. It's kind of like working out or ripping off a bandaid. You just gotta do it for it to work.",0.9007,positive,trusting
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_3,5,"One of my biggest problems is doing. My husband is a champ and has taken on the role of making appts and such for me. While this may seem to be deflecting the action to another - it works for us.   I had a complete melt down a few years ago. I curled into a ball and stayed there. I went from being capable of rebuilding a computer (yes, I'm female.. wink) to being unable to brush my teeth. I still have issues pulling out the proper words when speaking and going out by myself. I seriously melted down.   He made a point of making my appts and driving me to them. This made things a bit of a struggle but we did it because that's what worked to get me into the dr.   Talk with your SO and see what the two of you can work out. S/he may not be able to take you to appts but you may have friends/family who can. Once you start it will get better. You will have come to know your therapist and the office won't feel so foreign.   I am able to take myself to the Dr now, but it's mainly because my husband has been such a champ that I don't want to let him down. He's done so much more than I ever expected anyone would want to do for me. I don't want to let him down. ",0.8636,positive,embarrassed
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_4,6,">  I've talked to my fiancé about going to therapy, but I never get around to it  I think a lot of people would agree that the hardest part is getting started; making that phone call and booking that appointment.  There are **so many** fears around going to therapy!  What will they think of me?  What if I don't like my therapist?  What if I'm more ill than I thought!  etc. etc.  Do you have a GP that you see?  I am wondering if it's possible to sort of ""trick"" yourself into making an appointment?  I do this sometimes.  Make an appointment to see your GP for anything you need - maybe update your vaccinations or have that mole on your bum checked out.  Before you go make a list of all the things you want to mention to the GP.  Go into the GP and say ""okay I have a list of things I want to go over with you"" just casually so it's established that you have a few concerns.   Ask about your vaccinations, show em your butt mole and then say ""oh!  I thought there was something else. . . let me look at the list"", then look at the list and you can sort of read it off the list to avoid eye contact.  "". . . oh and I was hoping for a referral to a psychologist.   I just haven't been myself lately and I could use some guidance.  I'm getting married soon and becoming a mom has been a huge adjustment for me.""  > I want to see someone, but I feel like I'll just sit in the parking lot, afraid to go in.  I don't know you so I don't want to say that isn't true but in my experience if you can just make the appointment, you'll get there!    It's not easy though.  It took me years to get in the door myself so no judgment from me if you don't get around to it just yet.  I bet there are many users here that can relate. ",-0.8722,negative,apprehensive
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_1,7,Your husband sounds like an amazing person!,0.7644,positive,acknowledging
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_2,8,I care dude...,0.4939,positive,agreeing
2,MentalHealthSupport,How are you today and what's your recovery progress?,listener_3,9,"He really has been!  I fear being alone the most. As in, dieing and having no one left who cares enough to be there. He's always said he'd be there and he's really kept that promise thru quite a lot. I feel like I've won the lottery, but he maintains that he has. Not sure if he's a saint or totally into self abuse. I wouldn't trade him for anything. ",-0.8047,negative,trusting
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,speaker,1,"""Younger self"" can mean whatever you want it to mean, but I was originally thinking that it would be right at the point where you started dealing with your mental health issue(s). Maybe we can learn something from each other.  For me, it would have to be **""Take good care of yourself, physically and mentally.""** A few others came to mind but I really wish I had prioritized that sooner.",0.923,positive,proud
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_1,2,"If I could go back in time,  I would tell my younger self to seek help to understand my symptoms in order to manage them properly.  Instead, I suppressed them.  Years later, this caught up with me when I felt like I just couldn't hold everything in anymore.",0.6369,positive,ashamed
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_2,3,"I kept telling myself that I don't need family, I don't need friends, I don't need support. Was so gawdamn lonely. Spent so much time trying to prove to everyone that I don't need anyone... Then I found a fellowship... I was accepted... unconditionally... lumps and all... I kinda like it... (ps don't tell lol)",-0.6824,negative,joyful
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_3,4,Whoa. That hit close to home.,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,5,"Parents try to shield their kids from pain, pretend it isn't there. In the end, this can cause more harm than just taking thru the initial pain in the first place. Warm fuzzies your way! We are going to make it! ",-0.8879,negative,wishing
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_2,6,hugs <3,0.4939,positive,wishing
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,7,"It's rough, eh?  This is the one thing I have no answers for. How to belong when every part of you says you don't. ",-0.29600000000000004,negative,lonely
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,8,"LOL on the chem/bus part. It does feel like no matter how much education we give ourselves, in the end it doesn't help with the internal struggles.   Don't beat up on yourself. It's easy to give in when all we want is to be loved and accepted for who we are. We say they cheated/took advantage because we are flawed, not because they are asses. ",0.8519,positive,disappointed
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,9,"I was the odd one out at home. Always felt like I didn't belong and they didn't do much to change that feeling. I was probably a sanctamonious snot from time to time but I needed them to love me as is and they didn't. Except my grandmother, she was my world. She died in '85 and I'm still not over it.   My mom and sister both did drugs, (one prescription, the other illegals) and they'd have mother-daughter shoplifting trips. Lying, drama - you name it. I was quiet, read a lot and stayed to myself. It's hard to trust others when you couldn't trust your family. We moved a lot too which really didn't help shy me make friends and influence people.   I have a core group of friends now that have taken me in, warts and all. I would literally do anything for them, yet I still don't feel like I belong. It's weird and funny at the same time. I'm not a very good every day friend but call me at 3am and I'll drive many states away to come to your aid.   It has taken a complete melt down to understand the mistakes I've made. Not sure what it's going to take to fix it all. But hey, I can do it. Probably... wink ",0.1915,positive,devastated
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_2,10,"I've always been the odd one out, I drank and used to ""feel normal."" it's super hard to reach out, but I found that when I do, someone is always there <3",0.1655,positive,lonely
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_3,11,"That's so true. I hate feeling like I don't fit in. I have a lot of issues, and even with people who have the same issues, I don't connect. I try though but it never goes anywhere, like I'm not worth the effort to be friends with. Hurts.",-0.5653,negative,lonely
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,12,"It does hurt, no doubt about it. But I'm starting to understand that often I'm projecting my inner thoughts onto those around me. We are our own worst enemies sometimes.   One friend of mine amazes me time and again. She just is who she is and once she's decided you are her friend, that's it. No matter how fucked up I come across, she seems to understand. She doesn't coddle me or anything. Just is there and manages to say the right thing at the right time. She's fond of saying ""baby steps"". I love her dearly for that.   I'm not an every day friend. I don't talk on the phone much or txt all the time. I rarely post stuff to facebook. Some times you just have to say that out loud to people around you. The ones that get it, will understand. They may always ask you to go here or there, knowing you won't. But they won't leave you. It's taken a lot for me to understand this. I truly don't get why she's my friend but I appreciate that she is. I don't feel worthy of the care she gives but I get that she does.   I guess my point is that you don't have to feel worthy of the friendships just accept them as they come. The right people will stick it out, the wrong don't need to be there in the first place. No one is going to totally understand the stuff that goes on in our heads but they don't need to. ",0.987,positive,trusting
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_2,13,"I'm starting to realize this, and to acknowledge my part of the problem. I didn't realize how much of a self-seeker I really am, looking to others to fill that empty place inside",-0.5423,negative,ashamed
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,14,"Someone usually is! I have to remind myself of that all the time. They are there, even when I try to convince myself that they don't mean it or are just playing nice. You know the truth when you turn around and there they are again. What's up with that? They are suppose to be asses.  lol  ",0.8748,positive,annoyed
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_4,15,"I think, in the end, we all just want to be loved and accepted for who we are. People who feel the love of family and friends, have no clue how alone a person can feel. It's recognizing this need and understanding that not everyone who ""says"" they care really does. I've learned how to let those people go, unfortunately, I sorta group the ones that really care into that as well. So I'm trying not to throw the baby out with the wash water. That wet fucker is slick as shit and hard to catch. ",0.8173,positive,sad
3,MentalHealthSupport,Imagine you get to tell your younger self one tip about handling mental illness. What do you say?,listener_2,16,> you don't have to feel worthy of the friendships just accept them as they come   PURE GOLD! I need to remember this!,0.8264,positive,agreeing
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,speaker,1,"I'm wondering if anyone has had success with this. I try to get through it every day by turning my thoughts, distraction and just trying to keep going, but it doesn't resolve anything, it just returns as soon as I slow down. I go to meetups and support groups, I try to meet people and interact at least a few times a week. I've gotten a few numbers of people to hang out with, but I dunno. I still feel the emptiness. Its a deep ache in my diaphragm like intense loneliness feels like I suppose.",-0.3971,negative,lonely
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_1,2,"I feel alone, even in a room full of people. I also have difficulty making and keeping plans with others. Not sure what the answer is. I have a core group of friends now that seem to understand that the stuff that is easy for most is very hard for me. Like going on shopping trips or just feeling like I belong.   I don't feel an overpowering loneliness, I really like being by myself. I feel most alone in a group, I dont' feel like I connect to people on a fundamental level.   If you haven't tried meds, perhaps you can look into it. It's a process to find what works best for each individual. If your issues are due to a chemical imbalance - meds can do wonders for you. ",0.7159,positive,lonely
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,speaker,3,"I've tried a lot of things over the last 20 years, including meds. I'm pretty stumped right now.",0.4939,positive,apprehensive
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_1,4,"Me too, hon. I don't know how to feel included, or worthwhile. I'm hoping the new therapist will have a clue or two.  I promise to share. ",0.8271,positive,caring
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_2,5,Totally get it... funny thing though... I discovered I'm not so different. I'm not unique. There are other people out there who get it. Who wanna help. Sometimes you just gotta push through and tolerate the discomfort until it passes. It always does.,0.4703,positive,jealous
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_3,6,"It always does pass.  The discomfort of 'everything' at once at times is enough to make me want to scream. I recently added a relationship and love on top of everything else.   I'm not unique, at all, and I have to keep reminding myself that.",0.2023,positive,annoyed
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_2,7,"My psychologist gave me this sheet on distress tolerance, maybe it might help others [tolerating distress self soothing handout](http://imgur.com/FArg0fZ.jpg)",-0.1531,negative,suggesting
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_2,8,"me too, I always think I'm special I guess lol",0.6705,positive,agreeing
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_3,9,I'm still in denial in refusing to believe that I need this.  The voice in my head tells me that distractions are wasting time which should be spent working and studying.  Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I can use these. Thanks.,-0.5423,negative,ashamed
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_1,10,"Part of the problem is feeling like nothing is going to help. It's the reason we wait so long to make a move to get help. Popular opinion doesn't help either. If you are a guy, you are suppose to buck up and handle it like a man. If a woman, it's not really an issue - you are just a woman.   Read over the list with an open mind, smack that inner voice on the forehead and tell it to be quiet. Jah, harder than it sounds, I know.   Pick one... just one (or come up with one that works for you). Think about it and what help it might offer. If you don't adopt it, fine... thinking about it is a good first step.   You are already doing things to cope, you just don't recognize it as coping. If you go over the list, you may recognize one or two.   When you aren't ready to act, it's hard to see anything as being helpful. So trick yourself - I'm just going to read this list. Your subconscious will work on things behind the scenes.   One step at a time... baby steps... you can do it! ",0.9042,positive,apprehensive
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_2,11,"Distractions are definitely not a waste of time, it is a coping skill <3",0.4646,positive,agreeing
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_3,12,"When I get dissociated and loopy, I just scream at myself on the inside ""SNAP OUT OF IT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU CAN KEEP YOURSELF TOGETHER.""  Works fine for me 99% of the time.",-0.7378,negative,annoyed
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_1,13,"This is a backhanded way of saying ""I have faith in myself""  It works. Kuddo's to you! ",0.4753,positive,trusting
4,MentalHealthSupport,Resolving emptiness,listener_3,14,"I just realized that I've been doing this for years.  I get frustrated at times, say to myself... ""Fuck this!"" and do stuff on the list.  :)",-0.636,negative,disappointed
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,speaker,1,"I suppose everyone here is a little challenged, one way or another. But *how*, exactly? And how do you make it easier on yourself?  For me, **housekeeping**-type stuff is really hard to stay on top of for me. Not just household chores, but bills, meals, phone calls, making/keeping plans, etc. I often have thoughts like ""how do people manage this?!"" just going around my daily routine. I've been that way as long as I can remember -- my mom used to call me the absent-minded professor.  I'm trying to alleviate the effects of this with improved organization/routine and external reminders (i.e., some of the stuff that is hardest for me........). I don't know how much progress I've made. It feels kind of overwhelming to have to deal with everything. How about y'all? Let's talk about it.",0.9528,positive,surprised
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,listener_1,2,"Eating, going outside, daily routine, waking up, housework, shopping, public places, getting things done, meeting deadline, being on time, being by myself, personal hygiene, taking care of myself, tolerating distress, negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, depression, emotional regulation, self-harm, reaching out, maintaining relationships, sleeping, life... Sheesh that's a lot of stuff... Lol",-0.836,negative,prepared
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,speaker,3,"That does seem like a lot! Have you ever tried to break things down more  specifically so that you can attack those issues? Just from my own life, I have gotten better at coping and self-care, among other things, from work I've done with a therapist.",0.3802,positive,questioning
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,listener_1,4,"That would be an excellent idea, I have a bad habit of over complicating things to the point where I am completely overwhelmed. I am working with an excellent psychologist. Every time I try to keep it simple, I've made a mountain of shit out of it lol",0.5563,positive,acknowledging
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,speaker,5,"I totally get that. It's easy to get lost connecting things to each other. Maybe try writing stuff down? Even if you never show anyone, that can be a great way to unburden your mind, organize your thoughts, and focus on one thing at a time. Maybe the psychologist can help you prioritize. I think focusing hard on self-care helped me a lot with the other stuff; maybe it'd help you too.  (Now if I would just take my own advice...)",0.8658,positive,suggesting
5,MentalHealthSupport,What's hard for you that seems to be easy for others?,listener_1,6,"I give excellent advice but seldom apply this to my own circumstances! I am struggling with the list thing because I will obsessively write and rewrite my list over and over for hours and hours and before I know it, four hours is lost and I'm still rewriting my list. I'm trying out a new approach...  An online list... Called [ laterbox](https://laterbox.co ) supposed to simplify and I won't obsess over messy handwriting.",-0.3436,negative,trusting
6,MentalHealthSupport,Something other than CODA?,speaker,1,"12 step groups really doesn't work for me, especially the christian elements and god stuff. I'm part Jewish, and I'm gender nonconforming and somewhere on the spectrum of sexual orientation, so it feels unsafe to me. I wasn't raised in a purely christian environment so there are subtle things that seem comforting to the rest of the group that I don't understand and it serves to make me feel more alien than supported. I wouldn't attend Jewish groups for similar reasons, I'm too different for a homogenous group.  I feel safer from prejudice in non religious based support groups, they tend to be more diverse in general (in NYC in particular) so any prejudice, microagression or otherwise, can be confronted and discussed, because the expectation is that everyone is different and you're likely going to step on toes, so stating how something affects you personally is OK and clears the air.   I feel like dbt did not sufficiently help me with boundary and interpersonal issues. I still don't feel I have a healthy sense of what's right and wrong and how to aedequately protect and assert myself.  Does anyone have suggestions or resources for learning about what heathy boundaries are and how to assert them?",0.8343,positive,apprehensive
6,MentalHealthSupport,Something other than CODA?,listener_1,2,"I don't believe in God and I attend regular AA meetings. I initially was very sceptical of the whole God thing until I realized it's not about believing in God, it's about being humble and letting go of always being in control. Our ego tries to control every aspect of our lives, and we are upset when things don't go our way. Leveling our pride by trusting in ""a God of our understanding"" helps us to accept that we cannot control others, we can only control our own behaviours. My God is the energy in the room. It could be a chair, or your cat, or Good Orderly Direction or whatever. The point is, we need to stop fighting everyone and everything and focus on improving ourselves.   I have never felt safe before attending AA. The fellowship has accepted me as I am, lumps and all, with no judgement or expectation. It really has improved my life in so many ways. I cannot recommend anything else at this moment, but I just wanted to clarify the God thing. Sometimes we look for excuses to not belong. I tried so hard to prove to everyone that I didn't need anyone or anything. Truth be told, I was missing out. It feels good to be accepted. I feel safe even if it's just for an hour a day. So really, AA isn't about religion at all. It's about reconnecting our mind with our spirit and our physical selves. I was so disconnected for so long.",0.9554,positive,trusting
6,MentalHealthSupport,Something other than CODA?,listener_2,3,I was informed that your higher power could literally be a doorknob.  Just something that isn't fallible in a human sense.,0.0,neutral,surprised
6,MentalHealthSupport,Something other than CODA?,listener_1,4,It could literally be a door knob. It could even be another human. So long as it's not you. The idea is to let your ego be humbled.,0.0,neutral,confident
6,MentalHealthSupport,Something other than CODA?,listener_2,5,"Well apparently children and such are discouraged due to like, they can die.  But I'm not super into AA, I went for a bit and stopped.",-0.821,negative,neutral
7,MentalHealthSupport,Mad Map,speaker,1,"Ever heard of a mad map?  I become so obsessed with other things that I hyperfocus on the task at hand and stop taking care of myself and nothing else matters anymore.   I've been working on a volunteer project and I couldn't stop working. I stopped eating, taking my meds, personal hygiene non-existant, my relationships with others ignored, I wasn't sleeping... I made myself sick and went to a dark place. I was so tired and frustrated with myself because I couldn't meet the impossible and unrealistic expectations I set for myself. I felt like a total failure.   I arrived at my psychologist a total trainwreck. I hadn't slept in 3 days and had completely lost my mind. I couldn't stop. I would have cancelled my appointment but they have a 24 hour policy.   My psychologist had a great analogy... ""I went outside to shovel snow. I kept shovelling and shovelling but it kept snowing and snowing and so I shovelled faster and faster. But there was a blizzard and the snow was coming harder and faster and so I shovelled harder and faster, and still the snow kept falling. And everyone around me kept telling me to rest, but how could I rest? Can't you see its snowing? I had to keep going, I had to shovel harder and faster and better and I could not see the hole I had dug for myself with this never ending snow and on and on. But what I really had to do... was stop shovelling.""  So I finally stopped shovelling. It was really hard. Just. Stop. Shovelling. She wanted me to promise that I would take a break until next week. I couldn't agree for a whole week, but I did agree to take a few days. That I would take my meds. And sleep. We practiced what I would say to the person I'm volunteering for who is totally frustrated with me. So I took my meds and I went to sleep.   I felt better after 14 hours of sleep. I met with my nurse therapist and I had to tell her about my awful weekend. I was ashamed that I let myself get so sick. She asked me about the self-harm and I had to tell her cause I seem to be incapable of lying. She took my knife. I feel lost without it. I know I can just go and buy a new one. But I will try not to. Until I am a little more stable.   I know it's hard for husband to watch me lose my mind like that. We talked about making an appointment with my social worker to make a mad map. It's basically a written contract that we agree on for when I go crazy and am unable to make rational decisions. The idea is to be an active participant in my recovery before I lose my shit and so my husband doesn't feel like such as asshole when I am not compliant. I got the idea from an article I read... http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/lovely-wife-psych-ward-95567/  Has anyone else tried such a thing before? Thoughts?",-0.9928,negative,ashamed
7,MentalHealthSupport,Mad Map,listener_1,2,"I don't have any good guidance for you, but thanks for your story and that article. Very interesting idea.  Perhaps, in addition to a ""mad map"", it would be worth writing yourself a letter (you don't have to show it to anyone else if you don't want, but your therapist could help) when you're in a calm, healthy mindset. You can revisit this letter whenever you need to, and rewrite it whenever you're feeling mentally well.",0.9539,positive,suggesting
7,MentalHealthSupport,Mad Map,speaker,3,"Thanks wasn't really looking for guidance, just wanted to share the mad map idea and see what others thought about it. I actually did write myself a letter, I read it often and it does help :-)",0.7096,positive,neutral
8,MentalHealthSupport,This subreddit kinda died...,speaker,1,"As the title said, it's kinda dead. I'm not really sure what it's purpose is. I mean when it first started it was a good idea but I think it lacks a solid purpose.   Any one else agree? Thoughts?",0.5215,positive,questioning
8,MentalHealthSupport,This subreddit kinda died...,listener_1,2,I guess no one had anything they needed support for?,0.128,positive,questioning
8,MentalHealthSupport,This subreddit kinda died...,speaker,3,Haha,0.4588,positive,acknowledging
8,MentalHealthSupport,This subreddit kinda died...,listener_2,4,"I think the mod's intention was for people who are in the management stage of their illnesses have discussions to give them support. It sounded like it was meant to be a more proactive sub for discussing skills people found useful and sharing those experiences, which seems to be lacking in other subs where there are a lot of newly diagnosed people who don't know what to do yet, or people who are not yet ready to take an active role to move forward in a positive direction (for whatever reason, be it that they're in a toxic environment, they're not ready, they're too new and overwhelmed).   I thought it was a good idea, and I've seen mods in other sub's trying to push for this as well, but I think a lot of people also need a place to go vent their frustrations and there is a continual influx of new people that it's hard to do in any open sub. I was skeptical of its success due to what the person had to accomplish, which could take more of a commitment than they realized, and mostly due to their anger and reactiveness when promoting the sub. I figured they'd alienate a lot of people.  And it is a lot of work. Particularly if you have things going on in your life, I think thus is a bigger task than one person can handle. I thought about starting a sub in the past, but realized I don't have the support to take it on emotionally or commitment wise. Plus I didn't know anyone I could recruit to help do it. ",0.9659,positive,neutral
8,MentalHealthSupport,This subreddit kinda died...,speaker,5,I guess that's one way of looking at it. ,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
9,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support; serious panic attack,speaker,1,"Yeah, I'm just freaking out here. It would really help right now to receive some support.   I feel trapped and stuck in life.  I live in pretty much poverty, am very poor. Cannot afford to eat very well hardly, or other life essentials, and stuck living on social assistance because I cannot hold down a job due to panic attacks and at times depressive episodes, low moods.   My life sucks, I have no accomplished anything, and most people treat me like shit and think I am a loser.   I livei n a large city, and I think it is too cutthroat, hostile, and expensive to manage alright in at this type with all my problems, and just who I am (sort of a hippie) does not really fit in with this life style very much. I almost think I should move to a smaller more affordable place, and just sell out all my life and start over, because I almost think at this point, it's the only way I'll have a chance, because I can manage way better.   Here it just feels impossible to get ahead...  opinions?",-0.966,negative,lonely
9,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support; serious panic attack,listener_1,2,"After checking your comment history...  Step #1: Stop jacking off over how much better/smarter/more moral you are than everybody else.  I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you never actually do this IRL, but you need to stop doing it online, and most importantly you need to genuinely stop believing it.  This is absolutely, without any reservation, at the root of every way you've failed to achieve in your life.",-0.7912,negative,agreeing
10,MentalHealthSupport,I've been having a horrible recurring dream.,speaker,1,"(Just an FYI I've posted this in other places but I'm new to Reddit and I'm not sure where this best fits)  Hey there guys, for the past month or so I have a reoccurring dream that happens probably once every 2-3 nights. It's really starting to drive me crazy. Just a heads up, this dream is pretty inappropriate and has a lot of gross and graphic things happening so if you don't want to read something like that, please move on.  Basically what happens is I start out in a dark room, then some women come in and they hit me and strip me naked. I get taken into a room full of what seems to be hundreds of very beautiful women. Like each one is absolutely stunning. Then my hands and feet are tied to a table that is vertical against the wall, both feet on the bottom corners and both hands on the top corners. All of the women take turns coming up to me and touching my penis and testicles.   My penis is very undersized, and it's definitely my biggest insecurity and it has been for a while. As much as it pains me to admit it, I know that strangers are reading this so it's okay to admit, but when soft my penis is a little less than an inch long. And throughout the dream it stays that way. The women touch it and the entire room just roars with laughter constantly. They make me look them in the eye the whole time while they touch it. I'm bombarded with insults and jokes that really make me upset. I start crying and I don't stop throughout the entire dream.   At some point one of them takes my penis and aims it towards me, and they make me pee on myself. After that they untie me and take me to another table where they tie my wrists to my feet together so that my butt is exposed and sticking up in the air. They then all take turns touching my anus. Then one of them ties string around my penis very tightly and my penis falls off, even though I don't experience any pain. And the area it comes off is just naturally healed, like I never had a penis in the first place. A blonde woman, it's the same woman every time, takes it and rubs it all over my lips, and then inserts it into my butt, pushing it in and out and all the women start chanting ""Quit fucking yourself"", and then she finally just leaves it in there. Then I'm untied and flipped over, and a woman comes up with a knife and says it's time to cut off ""my tiny little pebbles"". She then swings down to cut off my testicles, and right before it happens I wake up.  It's the same dream every time. I've had recurring dreams before when I was little but nothing like this. It happens so often that I dread going to sleep at night and I have even pulled all-nighters just so there's no chance I'll have to experience that dream.  It's really starting to take a toll on my personal life. Every pretty girl I see I think that they were in my dream. I can't even have conversations with attractive women anymore. I can't stop thinking about the insults towards my penis and I don't even want to look at it anymore. I want to get professional help, but I'm a college student already knee deep in student loans and I live on a purely ramen noodle and water diet so I have no idea where I would come up with the money for that. My parents are already nearly broke and the last thing I want to do is ask them for money.  I'm not sure what I can do. Just writing this out has made me feel better, it feels nice finally being able to share what I'm going through. My older sister is my best friend and I tell her everything, but I figure that if I told her about it she would prod me for details of the dream and I really would rather not share what happens in my dream with her.   If you've read through all of this, I want to thank you. I guess I'm trying to see if there's anyone out there that can help me get rid of this reoccurring nightmare, or at least help me come up with some way to cope with it. I can't keep living like this.",0.997,positive,afraid
10,MentalHealthSupport,I've been having a horrible recurring dream.,listener_1,2,"Hey there.  That sounds really frightening.  I'll share with you what I learned in therapy to help rid yourself of nightmares.   Write down in a book or on your phone the story of what happens in the dream, but when bad things start to happen, imagine something positive happening instead.  The more fantastical it is the better (not sure why that helps but it does).  So write that you sprout wings and fly away, or shoot fire out of your mouth and kill your enemies and then ride an elephant to safety.  Stuff like that.   Each morning after you have the dream, and at night before you go to bed, rehearse your ""new"" version of the dream.  Change it up every couple of days.   Essentially you're just training your brain to make the story go the way you want it to.  It really works!",0.7072,positive,terrified
10,MentalHealthSupport,I've been having a horrible recurring dream.,speaker,3,"Thank you for the response. I'm going to try that tonight. Hopefully it will work, I'll get back to you!",0.6696,positive,encouraging
11,MentalHealthSupport,Threatened by a stranger about mental disability.,speaker,1,"How they knew ill never know... But SOMEONE told them that shouldnt have... Here goes... I was on my way home after an evaluation ( dont worry everyone,  still nutty) and i stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things. . and the cashier says, "" we pay for that, dont we?"" in relation to my purchase. How in the hell did a cashier know i was on disability? Giving me a reason, without an identifiable motive is a good way to get yourself hurt. Keep it up.",-0.8225,negative,furious
11,MentalHealthSupport,Threatened by a stranger about mental disability.,listener_1,2,"That doesn't sound at all like they knew you were on disability. I think you're jumping to conclusions here. For example, their comment would also make sense in another context: if they just had to deal with a shoplifting kid and had just given a lecture about how everyone needs to pay for the stuff they want.",0.34,positive,surprised
11,MentalHealthSupport,Threatened by a stranger about mental disability.,speaker,3,"Hey squish. Thanks for not just telling me it was ""all in my head.""",0.4404,positive,neutral
11,MentalHealthSupport,Threatened by a stranger about mental disability.,speaker,4,"A. I wasnt shoplifting. And B. The phrase ""We pay for that, dont we?"" is not a normal phrase. Appreciate your input, but i disagree.",-0.4118,negative,agreeing
12,MentalHealthSupport,Help,speaker,1,How do you reconnect with someone after they block you out of their life ,-0.4404,negative,lonely
12,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_1,2,The only thing you can do is give them their space and hope that they will change their minds. ,0.4404,positive,consoling
12,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_2,3,"It's hard, but I wholeheartedly agree this is the best advice. ",0.8705,positive,agreeing
13,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else experienced Sertraline?,speaker,1,"Okay so the title is pretty much my question, with the addition of; I had hoped it would stop me feeling the way I do about some very significant people in my life. If anything my feelings are stronger than ever before and I can't make them go away, but acknowledging them to the people around me would be such a huge life changing thing that I don't think I could do it. I haven't even been able to admit the feelings to my therapist yet.   Is this something Sertraline can do?   I think in the US it's also known as Zoloft? Can't seem to find any other names for it. ",0.8425,positive,trusting
13,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else experienced Sertraline?,listener_1,2,"Yes it is called Zoloft here in the US. I can tell you from my personal experience that the drug will not solve your problems for you. It honestly has little effect on its own, you have to use it in addition to taking action if you want to see change. In my case I was using it to help combat anxiety. Relying solely on the Zoloft I saw no improvements, but once I began practicing relaxation techniques and talking more to my therapist my anxiety started to alleviate. Zoloft certainly will not make you stop feeling the way you do about certain people in your life and suppressing the feelings with the hope they'll go away will only make things worse. You should talk to your therapist. I know saying things out loud to someone is scary because it makes them more real but your therapist won't judge you, it is literally their job to help you. if you don't feel comfortable talking to them try a different therapist, I had to see several different ones before I found someone I could actually open up to and have useful sessions.",0.9323,positive,disappointed
13,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else experienced Sertraline?,speaker,3,"I do yes, I feel like I'm getting more comfortable with her it's just I'm not quite ready to say some things out loud. ",0.7555,positive,apprehensive
14,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else?,speaker,1,"I don't feel like I want to die, I just don't really enjoy living. I don't have any reason to be sad or depressed, I just am. I often sit contemplating what would happen if I killed myself and how each person in my life would react and I cry. Life is just so mundane and has such little affect on the world or other people.   Anyone else feel this way that would like to discuss?",-0.9641,negative,sad
14,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else?,listener_1,2,"I kind of have something different but I thought I would share for the sake of discussion.  I don't really want to die but I want to kill myself.  What I mean by that is I have a strong urge to exact violence upon myself, but I don't necessarily actually want to cease living. ",-0.9353,negative,apprehensive
14,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else?,speaker,3,"Thanks for responding, you kind of said what I was trying to say, but you phrased it better. Helps to know it's not just me :). ",0.8481,positive,neutral
15,MentalHealthSupport,Ways of dealing with fear (PTSD),speaker,1,"After leaving a VERY abusive relationship, I was diagnosed with PTSD. This person now lives within 2 blocks of my house, and I see them on an almost daily basis. Anyone have any ideas as to how to deal with the fear I experience every time I see them?",-0.8841,negative,afraid
15,MentalHealthSupport,Ways of dealing with fear (PTSD),listener_1,2,"Hey, as someone else who has PTSD I think the best recommendation really is for you to move.  I had to put an entire continent between myself and my abusers before I was able to start getting well.  Is moving an option for you?",0.4019,positive,questioning
15,MentalHealthSupport,Ways of dealing with fear (PTSD),speaker,3,"Not yet. I'm a University student, and they live in the town where my school is.",0.0,neutral,apprehensive
16,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with Anxiety,speaker,1,"Since I was a child, I've had horrible anxiety. I thought it would go away after I left home and my abusive father, but instead it has gotten worse. I have dozens of fears and paranoias that overtake my rationality, and physically make me sick. Recently, I went in to get help and was diagnosed with GAD and several other disorders. (Is that the word I'm supposed to use?) I was given medication that must be monitored (get an evaluation every two-three months), but that turned into one of my ""triggers"" (things that set off my panic attacks), and I stopped going in.   Please tell me your experiences with anxiety and how you have managed it. What techniques worked for you? What didn't? ",-0.9808,negative,anxious
16,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with Anxiety,listener_1,2,"I also get physically sick, I medicate with marijuana. My older brother was put on anxiety medication (pills) as a teenager and he talked about them negatively. I saw my mom get withdrawals from Zanax, so I always hated the ideas of swallowing happy pills. I've been medicating with marijuana for over a year now, and I fall more in love with it each day it makes my personal relationships better and keeps me from worrying. I can now get on with my day. I am better able to work out my personal problems (triggers), and learn from them. Marijuana allowed me to separate my mental self and anxiety. I feel free.   A non medicinal technique I often employ is saying positive things when I feel negative. In example, if I feel uneasiness in my relationship but I have no physical evidence to actually act on it, I tell my SO ""I love you"", and other positive things I believe, like ""you care about me so much, I'm so grateful!"" It helps me feel better as it takes me away from one of my triggers. Hope it helps.   edit: added techniques ",0.9915,positive,terrified
16,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with Anxiety,speaker,3,"While I've never tried marijuana, I am open to the idea (for medical purposes). Taking pills just didn't work for me. I had suicidal thoughts all the time, which I normally don't when not taking the pills. Plus, they made me tired all the time. Thank you for your advice!",-0.7345,negative,grateful
17,MentalHealthSupport,Losing hope,speaker,1,I'm not doing well today. I don't know how to contain or control my angst and abandonment issues. ,-0.6386,negative,sad
17,MentalHealthSupport,Losing hope,listener_1,2,"If it is interfering with your ability to work and function, then you may wish to seek out professional help.  This sub is a good resource; however, you are worthy of more.  If you can not get to a professional or find some one to interact with in person, you may need to spend some time focused on something that you enjoy, preferable outdoor time (sunlight is known to lift mood) or exercise (this is proven to help lift the mood by releasing the good brain chemicals).  Staying focused on ones ""issues"" just makes things worse for me at least.  Any group or social endeavor can truly make a difference.   I hope this helps.",0.9837,positive,anxious
17,MentalHealthSupport,Losing hope,speaker,3,Thank you...,0.3612,positive,wishing
18,MentalHealthSupport,"As a minor, what can I not tell my therapist without my mom finding out?",speaker,1,"If my mom was aware of certain things, I'd be kicked out, hence why I ask.",0.2732,positive,annoyed
18,MentalHealthSupport,"As a minor, what can I not tell my therapist without my mom finding out?",listener_1,2,It may depend upon the State regulations for mental health professional therapists where you live.  In Texas the parent has access to all as does the pay or (insurance provider). That is unless the therapist provides you with proof otherwise.   I would ask the therapists. ,-0.1027,negative,apprehensive
18,MentalHealthSupport,"As a minor, what can I not tell my therapist without my mom finding out?",speaker,3,"Shit, okay ",-0.4019,negative,acknowledging
19,MentalHealthSupport,Instead of Self Harming...,speaker,1,"...I just did something awesome!  I covered my arms in red lipstick.  For me, I actually dislike the pain of self harming, so I tend to be very minor when I do it because it's only the control I'm after. This gave me control. There's so many other tactics you can use that mimic self harm without causing damage, but this is my favorite. Give it a try! ",0.3502,positive,ashamed
19,MentalHealthSupport,Instead of Self Harming...,listener_1,2,That's fantastic!,0.5983,positive,acknowledging
19,MentalHealthSupport,Instead of Self Harming...,speaker,3,"Thank you!  I will say that it was a haste to remove but if it stops me from self harming, I don't mind. ",-0.7463,negative,neutral
19,MentalHealthSupport,Instead of Self Harming...,speaker,4,Right?! I hope this helps someone. ,0.7345,positive,encouraging
20,MentalHealthSupport,histrionic personality disorder,speaker,1,"haven't seen any posts about it on here, wondering here if anyone else has it? ;^^",0.0,neutral,questioning
20,MentalHealthSupport,histrionic personality disorder,listener_1,2,I've never met anyone who has been diagnosed with HPD actually.  Even online I don't see people talk about it very much.  I have definitely met people who fit the symptoms (in my mind) but even all the treatment I've been in I've never met someone who admitted to be dx'd with HPD.   Do you have it?  What is it like?  What are your symptoms?  I am very interested in it and I actually kind of suspect my sister has it or NPD.,0.8290000000000001,positive,surprised
20,MentalHealthSupport,histrionic personality disorder,speaker,3,"Not professionally diagnosed, so no. But I do assume I have it seeing I fit the criteria for it. It's pretty awful considering you have to have the spotlight on you all the time, and then people are mad at you because you don't understand that they can't have attention from others. ",-0.1901,negative,surprised
21,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help,speaker,1,A good friend of mine has been struggling for awhile now. She could really use some support and help with trying to get funds together to see a therapist. Anything helps.  [Therapy Support ](gofundme.com/xq4tk-hospital-debt) ,0.9226,positive,hopeful
21,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help,listener_1,2,Have you looked for therapists that charge on a sliding scale based on income? Sometimes asking one therapist to recommend others that offer this might be helpful. ,0.6486,positive,suggesting
21,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help,speaker,3,I did find someone who was cheaper. It's $15 a hour. My finances still aren't the greatest so I've been just trying to get help where I can. Luckily I've raised a fairly decent amount and plan to use that for my upcoming appointments.,0.3883,positive,grateful
21,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help,listener_1,4,I'm glad to hear that you were able to find something more reasonable. Health is wealth (a cliche....I know) especially when you know what it feels like not to be operating at your primal best! Some things are out of  our control....but we have to do the best we can with what we have. All the best!!!!,0.9734,positive,grateful
22,MentalHealthSupport,Is this feeling most likely the meds or should I seek alternative help?,speaker,1,"Hi,  I could  really befit from some guidance or reassurance or some insight.   Ok, so I was on sertraline for a few years. I think it's called zoloft in the USA and other places.   ------------------------------- **^i'll ^add ^a ^sort ^of ^tldr ^after ^this ^paragraph.**   What I want to ask about is specific. sertraline kept me pretty much stable for a few years. recently a few things happened. I lost my grandparents for a start. I didn't really have too much of an issue dealing with that. I think it may have stuck with me though, maybe suppressed by the meds. then I rehomed my pet cat due to issues I was having with him. maybe those issues were related to my loss. not sure. but when i rehomed him, I fell to pieces and had to get him back. from that point, I did not get better. it seemed like maybe I needed an increase or at least so said my doctor. I went with the recommendation. got bad for a while because that's what happens. then the medds worked. but this time they seemed to fail on odd days. long after the allotted time for adjustment, I would have days where I would just fall apart again. and it would take a few days before i recovered again.  through that period, I had a few epiphanies and learnt to control suicidal thoughts and realised it wasn't an answer. even when feeling the worst I'd felt in a long time, I realised that I have no control over where I go after death so it would be a massive risk. not an easy way out. a potential disaster resulting in even worse suffering. Anyhow, to get to hte point, I realised that the drugs were not doing me any favours. they were severely restricting neuro plasticity and preventing me from learning effectively, and preventing me from developing new strategies for dealing with life issues.  I decided the meds were more harm than good. I have also become convinced that the meds are not really helping me to deal with life, and actually possibly causing various issues. I'd been experiencing periods of extreme anxiety and depression with no apparent cause. I would do all the right things, go out and meet people, do some volunteering, improve others lives, have a good (not too busy) schedule, feed myself well, do some working out etc. I would do all the right things and still have unexplainable depression. not even triggered by anything. So I think it's the meds.  So now I've come pas the end of a reasonable taper. I was on 100mg and I tapered 2 weeks. maybe at the end i jumped the gun a bit and i do have symptoms. I have dizziness.  maybe my sleep is disturbed too.  I guess I do feel quite tired.  anyway, last couple days I've been struggling a bit, feeling depressed over the last hour or so for no apparent reason. night before last, I got anxiety from thinking about whether or not my cat was sleeping on my bed. really no reason why I would feel anxious because of that.   ----------------------------------- **^so ^now ^a ^sort ^of ^tldr**  So, after all that long explanation... has anyone tapered off their sertraline and experienced this? I'm pretty sure it's standard, but I'm making a correlation between the unexplained depression before I came off and after i came off. is this likely to be the very same thing? or could it be that I have an unresolved issue that I cannot see and it was just the medication failing to mask it?  I'm looking for  some ideas, some anecdotes or whatever.   Thanks!!!!",-0.9982,negative,apprehensive
22,MentalHealthSupport,Is this feeling most likely the meds or should I seek alternative help?,listener_1,2,I don't think I've taken sertraline (it's hard to remember I've been on so many) but my best advice is to ask your doctor about these symptoms.  I do know from experience that tapering off of psych meds can have some seriously gnarly side effects.  Just as a lay person I would be willing to bet that what you are experiencing is probably a combination of your own true feelings and some withdrawal symptoms as well.,0.9011,positive,agreeing
22,MentalHealthSupport,Is this feeling most likely the meds or should I seek alternative help?,speaker,3,I appreciate your reply!  it's been 2 weeks though. those symptoms are gone now.  I had some pretty messed up dreams for a while but now those have gone and i'm feeling pretty colourful.  ,0.857,positive,sympathizing
23,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure what's the best approach,speaker,1,"I've struggled with depression since 5th grade, since I was 10 or 11. Now being 22 it's just something I'm used to, but in order to move forward with my life I want to seek some sort of help.   Though I was scared to purse medication when I was younger due to the side effects of coming off too early (I'm very forgetful so I thought I might forget to take it and get much worse), I don't think I can get through school without some sort of help. I want to be in school, but every semester I would end up getting super depressed and withdrawing/failing all my classes. I'm tired of everyone being ahead of me in life and feeling like pursuing my interests isn't an option.   I've done some therapy in the past, but not by choice and it was an overall bad experience. My parents made me go to 3 or 4 different ones in HS when I started to really not do well. They would come in and sit with me and the therapist and I didn't want to talk in front of them (or not really with the therapist I was forced to go to) and so all of the sessions would be me sitting there listing to my parents talk about how I was affecting them, pretty exclusively negative. It pretty much turned into a vent session for my parents, with my mom in tears and talking about her own life (she has struggled with depression and should really see someone herself). I had one therapist I liked, she requested to only speak with me and we played board games (which I love) for the entire session after I wouldn't talk. When my mom found out we just played games she never took me back. I've never gone to a therapist since.   I don't know if I should try going to a therapist or a psychologist or what. I don't want to spend a lot of money, but I do have medical insurance through my dad. I'm sure a therapist would help, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I also don't want my parents to find out, I've never talked about it with them before and don't plan on it right now, later but not now.   I just don't know the right steps to take, where to start. I'm so dissatisfied with my life and want to at least attempt to get to a better place. ",-0.6835,negative,apprehensive
23,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure what's the best approach,listener_1,2,"Disclaimer: I'm not here to give you a direct answer--just things to consider and also to share my experiences.  Regarding seeing a therapist/psychologist, is there any way possible that your parents will agree not to be included in the sessions? If so, I think that it would be helpful. If not, I personally would not take this route. Also consider that you may be meeting them once or twice a week for 45 minutes each session (based on my experience, but it could be more or less for you) and that this will be a slow process and you MUST be willing to participate towards your goal/s, otherwise, it would be a waste of time for you and your therapist. Sometimes you may not click with your therapist too, and if you feel this way, do NOT feel guilty when you tell him or her that you want to switch to a new one. I made this mistake and wasted about a year of therapy with a person I couldn't connect with.  Medication. For me, this has been a lifesaver. Granted, it took a lot of patience and plenty of tries. I was on Wellbutrin, Prozac, Cymbalta, Effexor, Zoloft... you name it, I've probably tried it. I think it took about a year of experimenting when I finally found the right one. It was definitely worth it, though. If you decide to take this route, just be observant about any side effects it has on you and tell your pdoc right away if weird things happen. I think it takes about 3 weeks to a month (not really sure, don't quote me) for these to have a noticeable effect on you.  Anyway, just my mildly lengthy two cents. I hope I've helped at least a little bit.",0.7786,positive,trusting
23,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure what's the best approach,listener_2,3,"> Disclaimer: I'm not here to give you a direct answer--just things to consider and also to share my experiences.  > Regarding seeing a therapist/psychologist, is there any way possible that your parents will agree not to be included in the sessions? If so, I think that it would be helpful. If not, I personally would not take this route. Also consider that you may be meeting them once or twice a week for 45 minutes each session (based on my experience, but it could be more or less for you) and that this will be a slow process and you MUST be willing to participate towards your goal/s, otherwise, it would be a waste of time for you and your therapist. Sometimes you may not click with your therapist too, and if you feel this way, do NOT feel guilty when you tell him or her that you want to switch to a new one. I made this mistake and wasted about a year of therapy with a person I couldn't connect with.  > Medication. For me, this has been a lifesaver. Granted, it took a lot of patience and plenty of tries. I was on Wellbutrin, Prozac, Cymbalta, Effexor, Zoloft... you name it, I've probably tried it. I think it took about a year of experimenting when I finally found the right one. It was definitely worth it, though. If you decide to take this route, just be observant about any side effects it has on you and tell your pdoc right away if weird things happen. I think it takes about 3 weeks to a month (not really sure, don't quote me) for these to have a noticeable effect on you.  > Anyway, just my mildly lengthy two cents. I hope I've helped at least a little bit.  ~ */u/ishouldbeworking00*",0.7786,positive,trusting
24,MentalHealthSupport,"My brother has been picked up and the mental hospital wants to commit him. How long do they ""normally"" keep people?",speaker,1,"He's addicted to meth and borderline autistic. He's in the extreme paranoia stage of addiction, and they've diagnosed him as ""acute psychotic"". The usual paranoia, and agitation that goes along with it is present as well. Anyone else have experience with this? Cops ""EDO'd"" him and he spent a couple days in the hospital, and they took him to a private mental health hospital.   Who pays for this? Will they release him to state facility when insurance (Obamacare) runs out? Back on the street? They are prescribing him risperdal, which he finally took today.   He refuses (of course) to believe he has any issues whatsoever (this, despite being 40 with no means of supporting himself, living in a family owned property, where he removed the bathroom and has now destroyed the kitchen with a fire. ",-0.8423,negative,apprehensive
24,MentalHealthSupport,"My brother has been picked up and the mental hospital wants to commit him. How long do they ""normally"" keep people?",listener_1,2,Hi OP this sounds like a very stressful experience.  If you are in the U.S. a typical hold is usually three days but the doctor can extend that almost indefinitely depending on how your brother is doing.  Who pays for this depends on what type of insurance your brother has.  You mention Obamacare.  Does that mean he has an exchange plan or does he have public health insurance like Medicaid?  It sounds like your brother has a lot going on but right now the most important thing is to get him sober.  Let me know if you need some help finding treatment for him (if he is willing to go). ,0.9216,positive,questioning
24,MentalHealthSupport,"My brother has been picked up and the mental hospital wants to commit him. How long do they ""normally"" keep people?",listener_2,3,I've never heard of a psych hold lasting years.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
25,MentalHealthSupport,Family member overdosed,speaker,1,"Hello I hope I'm posting in right place, just need to get of chest and bit of advice. Last night my cousin overdosed and self harmed, she is now in a hospital which is honestly best place for her right now. She was diagnosed about 8 years ago with borderline personality disorder , she self harms every week , abuses her medication and smokes a lot of cannabis. I can't help feeling partly to blame, she normally helps me with my child on Saturday while I work, but this week she has been extremely worked up about another family member, we spent day together on Wednesday and she was snapping at me whole day and even off with my 2 year old do I messaged her yesterday morning saying my child's dad was having her. I honestly thought some time with no commitments would be good, she offers to help everyone then complains behind your back that your using her and it's too much for her . As well when she is like this she brings down my mh so I do try and give her as much support as I can but try to keep slight distance. Now I can't help thinking could I have done more? Did I help tip over with my message?  I have two small children and I do have to put them first but I've been up half night feeling so guilty , just need to get of chest ",0.9155,positive,caring
25,MentalHealthSupport,Family member overdosed,listener_1,2,"You have no control over other people's actions. It's admirable to care so deeply that you want to think you could have done more. You're not responsible for her overdose. That being said, I hope she recovers. I'm sure you've done a lot of supporting already but it'd be a good time to let her know how much you care. Set up a system so you can tell when things start to go south she can let you know or you can find out so you can quickly respond. Take care of yourself too, especially while she's in the hospital. ",0.9611,positive,caring
25,MentalHealthSupport,Family member overdosed,speaker,3,"Thank you, my head was all over place wondering if I'd never sent the message would she have done it still was that the final push but since I got over shock I do realise that my actions have nothing to do with it, she has it in her head for days but we'd slightly missed the signs( me And her mum) between us. I am normally very on ball with her signs and I could see she was heading to her limit. She has been In a unit since Saturday morning but sadly due to her condition they don't like keeping her in more than few days as they don't believe borderline thrive in institutions. Yet if they looked at her individually she could do so well if she was somewhere for a decent amount of time without pressures and get herself into a routine. Thank you for reply it's good to be able to get of chest  ",0.4175,positive,neutral
26,MentalHealthSupport,Annoying inconvenient sporadic suicidal thoughts.,speaker,1,"TW: sexual/verbal/physical abuse, depression, self harm, and dark thoughts. I don't go int excruciating. Detail though.   So I just came from dance class. Aka one of the few places I feel free and safe from all the horrible things that are happening outside. My life is the best it's ever been and I am the all-around healthiest I've ever been, but that's not saying much.  But for some reason, I find myself now switching from the mode of feeling jubilant around people that have honestly changed and potentially saved my life to being depressed and suicidal around my abusive family.  I am not in the place to escape my abusive situation, so that is off the table. I am 17 years old and just graduated from high school and I plan to break the cycle. But for the next few years I must suffer.  I have a history of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse. Verbal and some of the physical comes from my home but the sexual abuse and everything else comes from other places. It's not as bad as it used to be and the only place I am for the most part is home. But I carry the burden of severe trauma. I likely have PTSD along with a slew of other mental disorders but I am undiagnosed so I am not 100% sure.   So here I am wanting to self harm again. I don't cut myself. I either bang my head against the wall or scratch at myself. It's not the pain I'm after. It's the release of energy and rage. In fact I hate the pain part. Punishing myself is not a driving factor but it's kind of a little in the background I guess.   I'm just here looking for some tips on what to do when I suddenly switch from happy to suicidal and depressed. It's nothing I can't handle. I'm used to it and I'm a fighter. I will 100% survive this situation so please don't worry too much. The worst is over. But some tips to make it even easier would help.   I am currently hating myself and assuming that all the people I talked to tonight don't give a shit about me. My mind does this thing where I pick apart each and every tiny part of every social situation and make ridiculous inferences on what was going on. And I always manage to skew the blame towards myself so I seem like the bad guy. Conceptually I know it's wrong but I can't shake these thoughts.   Some advice would be lovely.  If not, thank you anyway.  And to anyone else who is suffering: you deserve love. Just know that. ",-0.9955,negative,terrified
26,MentalHealthSupport,Annoying inconvenient sporadic suicidal thoughts.,listener_1,2,"Hey. So first. You're not the bad guy. I know they'll tell you all that shit but it isn't true.  Second, advice? I usually try to distract myself. YouTube. Video games. Random music. If your family shuts you down on that, and you can get out of the house, I recommend that. Other hobbies I've used included knitting, folding origami cranes, or just planning out what my future might possibly look like.  I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Fantastic for you for recognizing that your environment isn't the best! I've been in a situation not unlike yours, and I can assure you that the moment you step out of there, it gets a hell of a lot better. It may not be all hunky dory, but damn I've healed up a lot.  Another thing– once you get out, please seek mental health services. It's nice to have even one adult on your side.",0.4883,positive,hopeful
26,MentalHealthSupport,Annoying inconvenient sporadic suicidal thoughts.,speaker,3,"I will seek mental health services in college the very second I turn 18 so they don't tell my parents about it. When they tell me I have complex PTSD (and mark my words, they are going to tell me I have complex PTSD), there's a FAT CHANCE my family is gonna find out.  Thank you for the advice. That's actually what I've been doing for he last two years. It helps, but it's not enough but I will make do for the time being.  I am so glad you got out. Nobody deserves this man. How did you get out and have you cut ties?",0.7944,positive,faithful
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,speaker,1,"SERIOUS TW. PLEASE DO NOT KEEP READING IF SELF HARM OR SUICIDE IS AT ALL TRIGGERING TO YOU.  I don't cut myself or do anything so serious. Usually I claw at my arms or legs and sometimes it's done in such a fit of rage that it leaves a pretty bad scrape but nothing worse than ""I fell off my bike and skidded a bit on the concrete"" type of cuts. Or sometimes they go away within a day. But it's still self harm. I also get the urge to pull my hair sometimes but mostly it's slamming my head against the wall. I haven't done those in a very long time. I'm trying hard not to as I don't want to hurt myself. As bad as clawing at my arms is, I'd rather that than brain damage. I hate to say this, but it's the healthier alternative when I physically cannot stop myself.  Today the girls at the camp I work for kept running their fingers on a cut I have all the way across my arm that's pretty much scanned and almost healed. It was the first time I self harmed in probably like a month (which is pretty good) and it was in a blind fit of terror and I really hurt myself but after a few days it's starting to go away.  But they keep mentioning the cuts or striking them and in their head I think there showing me love but it's just really unsettling and it breaks my heart. And I'm crying just thinking about it because they have no idea how they got there. I never want those kids to have to go through the horrors I have gone through.  I've been sexually, physically, and verbally abused. All three types of abuse have happened out of the home, and in the home, only physical and verbal abuse occur. I am not mentally stable at times. I'm in a better place that I used to be but just now my mom pressured me to do college tasks when I have been spending the night sitting in my bed mourning friends who have abandoned me and my friend who died and things that used to be happy that are now sad. And so when she looked away I quickly scratched my left hand hard. And you can't tell that it's self harm when it's just a scratch.  It is unsafe for me to tell anyone that I have a self harm problem right now. I am unable to get out of my abusive home situation. I'm struggling to hang on.  Please, give me some advice on how I can stop self harming. I don't wanna hurt myself. It's not the pain I'm after. It's the cathartic release that I crave desperately that NONE of the standard remedies provide like punching a pillow. The only thing that works is rubbing lipstick all over my arms but that takes sometimes over an hour to clean up and still Im covered in makeup and I am too depressed to move my body that much right now. And to be honest it's too much of an ordeal.  Please help me. I'm 17 years old and I'm trying to raise myself but I don't know what to do. I'm really lost and I don't like how it stings when I hurt myself. It makes me cry to see the scratches on my body. Even though I frequently feel suicidal, after I self harm, all I do is cry and kiss my scratches and rub it and apologize to my arm for hurting it and talk to myself and try to console myself but it's really hard to do. Please help me, I'm really broken right now. I miss my old friends and I miss my friend who died and I am sad and drowning in guilt and sorrow and heartbreak and emptiness. And I just need some tips on how I can stop self harming  I'm sorry if this is a long confusing paragraph. I don't have the mental strength to read through it again and correct grammar errors or consolidate it right now. Trust me, if I had the ability to get help, I would be in therapy right now but I can't. So I'm doing my best and working with what I've got and desperately trying to hold on.  Even some kind words might help I think.  PLEASE if you are struggling and have the ability to get help, get help. And if you don't, know I know what it's like and that I think you deserve to live. ",-0.9977,negative,afraid
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,listener_1,2,"The best thing I can say is always be distracted. I do mean always because, as you already probably know, sometimes the urges are random. What I did was started making a ""mind palace"". There is a lot of information on the topic so I won't go into it but it distracted me enough that I have been clean for a while now. Best of luck",0.9209,positive,content
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, I'll look it up! I am feeling better now. I only wanted to self harm once so far today but I forgot about it right away. Keep in mind I was working at camp basically the whole time and now as I head home will be the hardest part but I'll do my best!  I always worry about the whole distracting myself thing because doesn't distracting yourself mean you're avoiding confronting your emotions? Or is it better that I avoid t and don't hurt myself? But then it just builds up, right? ",0.7202,positive,anxious
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,listener_1,4,"You could look at it as avoidant behavior but I personally think the brain works differently. My urges eventually got easier to ignore and stopped almost completely. I used to put friends and family in my mind palace. That seems like a good option for you so you can release your emotions. Another thing I did, if I was feeling really destructive, was make a room just for it. A room just full of stuff to break and release anger on. I have to go, but I am always open to questions (p.s. great job making it through work! Keep doing your best!)",0.9208,positive,guilty
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,speaker,5,"Thank you so much!  Quick question, and answer whenever you can. No urgency here.  Do you mean a real room? Or is it metaphorical? I seriously appreciate the help. I'm always trying to find a balance and instead of bottle things up, learn to escape instead. There's a fine line between the two.  I am serious about getting clean from this. I have been battling the urge to self hard ever since I heard about the definition of self harm and only recently, years and years later have I failed to resist. From the very second I gave in, I've wanted to stop. And I will stop. I can't assure you that I'll never do it again but I CAN assure you that I will try my absolute hardest to put a stop to this. Thank you for everything ",0.3147,positive,faithful
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,listener_1,6,"Everything will be in your head, however, if your experience is anything like mine, it will begin to feel very real. I very happy that you want to get clean. I promise, one day you will be so happy that you've stopped. All I can say is, no matter how hard it gets, please keep trying. And don't feel too bad if you mess up, as long as you're trying you're already doing great. I really do wish you the best.",0.9819,positive,wishing
27,MentalHealthSupport,I am actively trying to stop self harming but it's not working.,speaker,7,"I think there's a lot to say about the fact that every time I hurt myself, I apologize to myself, cry for my injury, rub it, and take care of it. It shows I still value my body on a deep and intimate level. I don't want to ruin this body because it's a blessing to even have one. I'll remember your kind words and look into your ideas! It means a lot",0.7537,positive,sentimental
28,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure if anyone can help but I'm lost ...,speaker,1,"My sister is or potentially in trouble she's been hanging in a bad crowd for years now I.e drugs and theft . But lately shes become extremely skinny , refusing any help or offer of food (she doesn't live with her family) her legs are a odd shade of blue and she's been passing out at work . If someone knows what should we do to help or knows what wrong please drop suggestions ",-0.7747,negative,afraid
28,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure if anyone can help but I'm lost ...,listener_1,2,"I think a social worker would be able to help find resources for your sister and family, and just in general help put things back on track. Here is a website to find one in your area (if you're in the united states): psychologytoday.com.  ",0.802,positive,suggesting
28,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure if anyone can help but I'm lost ...,speaker,3,Would this apply even if she is 21 ? ,0.0,neutral,questioning
28,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure if anyone can help but I'm lost ...,listener_1,4,"Since she's 21 she has to consent to care, so if she doesn't want it then all you can do is try to persuade her. A social worker can at least help you to help her. Like, maybe a social worker could help to find safe, affordable housing for you her, or maybe help you to learn the warning signs of her health deteriorating and when to call for emergency help. These are just examples, I don't know what your sister specifically needs. ",0.95,positive,suggesting
29,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to better understand why i am the way i am,speaker,1,"Alright this is my first post but I've seen people post on Reddit and get some very good feedback in regards to help.  I'm 26 for most of my life I've been in a sort of social solitary confinement, I was never allowed outside to see people except for my babysitter from k-7, my father who left my half sister with her alcoholic mother, left me with a physically abusive mother whilst he took many women on trips to Mexico, Bahamas etc... So I never got to know him, back a bit to a younger me we will say about grade 2 to grade 4 whenever I did get to seey father his ex girlfriend (who's been dead for many years) used to physically and mentally torture me.   That sums my childhood but to continue now being stuck not allowed to see my father my bipolar mother used to come home and beat me till I was in grade two and you know by beat I mean literally.   After all of this I'm still trying to understand why I am the way I am but maybe I can get better help on here rather than a psychiatrist who will just slam my brain with antipsychotics.",-0.8504,negative,afraid
29,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to better understand why i am the way i am,listener_1,2,"Wow. That's a lot of shit for one person to take.  What do you do now? Are you working and who do you live with? What's your support network like? Friends, family?  I am surprised I'm still alive at age 36. Psychedelics actually helped me. But I still have to do things like avoid fb for fear of being triggered and all the abuse comes flowing back and I cannot function.   I left a vast support network and moved to another country. Sometimes the bad feelings come back and I again doubt my ability to survive.  But I'm still standing. And so are you. You made it this far. Keep posting on Reddit. Keep fighting.   ❤️",-0.9074,negative,sad
29,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to better understand why i am the way i am,speaker,3,"I have a full time job that took me till 22 to acquire, got a relationship of two years next month. But it's mostly not having any care nor sympathy for others and not properly adhering to social ques.   Prime example a couple years ago I had seen a guy get stabbed into his back which punctured his lung as everyone scrambled to help him by calling the police, ambulance I just stood there and said ""well you put yourself in this spot let natural selection take its course""",-0.1298,negative,ashamed
29,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to better understand why i am the way i am,speaker,4,I've tried therapists but they typically end up being transferred and I have to start from scratch with a new one.,0.0,neutral,disappointed
29,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to better understand why i am the way i am,speaker,5,"Okay I'll check it out, thank you. ",0.5267,positive,acknowledging
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,1,My GP told me that I have mild depression and that I should go to counselling. What I don't understand is how can it just be mild depression when I clearly expressed that I've had depression for the past 5 years (undiagnosed) and I've tried counselling twice for over a month each time and it did nothing. My depression getting worse and I just don't know what to do anymore. ,-0.8591,negative,angry
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,listener_1,2,Try sex and drugs. With boys and girls (of the age of consent and over)This helps.,0.5423,positive,terrified
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,3,"I'm engaged, but I think I might try drugs lol. Seems like the only option now. ",0.8316,positive,apprehensive
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,listener_1,4,In all seriousness a little marijuana or a small amount of mushrooms can go a long way. Oh and dont forget to not take life too seriously  because its not.,-0.0603,negative,agreeing
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,5,"Tbh I would be be smoking marijuana more often if I could afford it, it was helpful when I could. And I'll do my best not to. It's hard not to though lol. ",0.7153,positive,neutral
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,6,"No, I know but I don't know how to through the NHS, as I can't afford to go private. ",0.0,neutral,agreeing
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,listener_2,7,"Try meditation OP, it helped many.",0.0,neutral,neutral
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,listener_3,8,Perhaps you'll need a referral from your GP?,0.0,neutral,suggesting
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,9,"I may do, my GP shut me down when I originally asked about a psychiatrist. So I'll see if I can speak to a different one. ",0.0,neutral,hopeful
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,10,"Yes this helped a lot thank you. Thank you for sharing your experience though. It's made me think about what I'm doing. I'm definitely going to make a more informed, responsible decision seeing this. Thank you! It really did! :)",0.9662,positive,agreeing
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,11,"I will do, I'm going to try a different gp first before I try anything else. And tbh, the people closest to me are the only reason I haven't done anything permanent yet. Same here, it's just so hard, getting to that brink sometimes. I will thank you, you to bud. I really hope so tbh. ",0.5895,positive,trusting
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,12,"Okay, it won't hurt to give meditation ago. Thanks ",0.7633,positive,acknowledging
30,MentalHealthSupport,Depression,speaker,13,I will do. Thank you very much!,0.4199,positive,wishing
31,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with channeling my irritation/quick temper,speaker,1,"**I'm not sure if this is the correct location to post this, so please forgive me (and maybe direct me if possible).**  I have a very quick temper/ I am quick to get irritated and stay irritated from little things. Or I just work myself up thinking about small minuet things, like silly misunderstandings with my partner to other small quirks. Wish I could give you better examples m, but I honestly just get worked up over such little things.  It's something I've been trying to work on, but so far haven't had success. I tried journaling, probably only for a week though, I just found it corny and not helpful, I'm getting annoyed thinking about it now.   I've also tried yoga, and meditation. Hell, I went to India for a month and did yoga and meditation everyday, and I still felt corny and it didn't really help. I just got restless.  What are things you have done to calm yourself? Or do you have any advice? I really don't want to live this way. It's something I've been working on for a while, and I'm really disappointed that no matter what I do, nothing seems to help at all. ",-0.9757,negative,annoyed
31,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with channeling my irritation/quick temper,listener_1,2,"Hi OP,  Acknowledging your issues and keeping on trying is a good sign even if you don't see progress.  I suggest that you go seek professional help. A psychologist will surely help you identify the triggers and root causes of your irritation. From there, you can work out a ways to curb your bad impluses.  Keep fighting OP!",-0.1838,negative,wishing
31,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with channeling my irritation/quick temper,speaker,3,Thank you so much! ,0.4199,positive,wishing
31,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with channeling my irritation/quick temper,listener_1,4,You're welcome.  Don't hesitate to ask for help if you it. There will be always someone who will reach out to you :),0.8629,positive,questioning
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,speaker,1,"So I've suffered from some form of anxiety/depression all my life. It's worsened over the last few months as I left a comfortable job where I was relatively happy for a promotion within the same company. Huge mistake.   Basically I was pushed into the job, I had second thoughts at the beginning but was assured that my new manager would be supportive, my training would be excellent, the job would be amazing for me, etc etc.  This couldn't be further from the truth. The people I work with are judgemental, they aren't supportive at all and I'm being bullied by an older woman who I think is resentful of me. It's got to the point that even walking into the building where I work affects my breathing and I feel like I'm dying.  I finally found the courage to voice all of this to my manager today, who basically outright called me a liar and said she ""just didn't know what was wrong with me"".  I'm absolutely devastated, I can't go back to my old job because my position was filled. I have bills to pay and no way of paying them unless I go back to this job but the thought of doing that makes me want to die. I feel like I could just end it but I wouldn't solely because of my mother who would be devastated.  I don't even know what advice I'm looking for really, I just don't know what to do.",-0.9211,negative,trusting
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,listener_1,2,"You don't have to face it alone, get help from people who have been there http://froiid.in",0.1779,positive,trusting
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,speaker,3,"Thank you, means a lot that you replied ❤️",0.3612,positive,acknowledging
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,speaker,4,"Update: Spoke to my doctor who is extremely supportive and understanding which helped a lot, and he has referred me for counselling. I took some time off work and am happy to say within that time I've found a new job with a different company. I hope this is a step in the right direction.",0.8439,positive,hopeful
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,listener_2,5,Great!  Keep up the good OP. I'll be waiting for your updates.  Feel free to PM me if you want to chat :),0.9312,positive,acknowledging
32,MentalHealthSupport,My boss thinks I'm a liar.,speaker,6,Thank you so much!,0.4199,positive,wishing
33,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure the steps to take,speaker,1,"I've been depressed since 5th grade. I was in school but every semester my depression would get much worse and I'd end up withdrawing or failing all my classes. I've been out almost 2 years now and I want to go back, but I'm afraid to repeat the same cycles so I want to try out medication first. Problem is I'm not sure what the best steps are to get it.   I have no GP. I know that you have to be licensed to prescribe medicine, so a psychologist seems like the best option but they also seem much more expensive. If I go to a different type of therapist can I still get medication? I read that people have multiple different doctors but that seems so expensive.   I have an admin job now but hate it and am planning on going back to serving, but I haven't yet because if the cost of all this is too much I'm not sure I could afford it.   Just really unsure what my options are   Edit to clarify: I made a very similar post not long ago, but didn't get an actual answer. That post talked more about my why's of medication, this is more to the point. Just want to know what professionals I need to pursue. ",-0.9469,negative,apprehensive
33,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure the steps to take,listener_1,2,I found this website (www.empresswellness.com) which is a website about mental health but it is by a clinical psychiatric pharmacist. She answers all kinds of questions... perhaps she could help. check it out.,0.5499,positive,suggesting
33,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure the steps to take,speaker,3,"Thank you, I will",0.3612,positive,wishing
33,MentalHealthSupport,Want to try medication but not sure the steps to take,listener_2,4,"Try to get a GP, they can either prescribe you with something or refer you to someone who can. Or try a local clinic for therapy and see what they say.",0.0,neutral,suggesting
34,MentalHealthSupport,My Life's A Mess and I'm All Alone In It,speaker,1,"  At 18, I can say with confidence my life is a total mess. Why? Because I have pretty much every problem in the world   Bear with me. This may be long. I have no one else to talk to so even if just one person responds, I'm grateful.  Do you know that feeling where something isn't quite right ? Have you ever had that feeling when things were going well in life but forever reason you just feel numb, distant, unhappy, not fully there? Well I have that feeling- but that difference is that is combined with the fact that things ARENT going well in life.   Category #1: Problems in my Head   -C-PTSD ( not just one traumatic event, therefore complex PTSD. Childhood emotional abuse and psychological damage. Trauma from peers at school and bullying in the past. Constantly feel on guard, replaying moments of past, embarrassment, anxiety, shame and panic attacks as well, hopelessness, stress)  -Attachment Trauma ( emotionally attached to people from my past who aren't in my life anymore. Even peoples faces who I would just see in the hall at school but never talked to, still cross my mind to this date. Ex lovers, friends, and people, places and things in general. Kind of goes hand in hand with the PTSD thing. Never felt bonded to mom, dad was barely in life do to having bipolar and schizophrenia as well as narcissist mom manipulating the situation and keeping him away from me and my brother, saying he didn't want to see us and it's his loss, despite him actually wanting to see us)  -Codependency ( care more what others think about me (also do to moms brainwashing)  I am an empath so I get over stimulated by others feelings and energy, problems with boundaries, needed guy or male attention to fulfill me for awhile, didn't understand you need to be your full self to attract what you want. Easily affected by my moms mood and always thinking about her feelings and beliefs before mine. My mind and life have mostly revolved around her. I had drinking issues in the past as well. Constantly feel under display, like the world is watching and judging me. Simultaneously seeking the worlds validation, instead of the other way around.   -Anxiety and Depression- (over think things, have trouble staying focused and motivated, feel guilty when things are going well, or like it won't last long, unhappy, thought it was just being a teen but I think it runs deeper)  -Disassociation ( hardly ever feel fully present, in the moment. Have trouble feeling feelings whether good or bad. Takes me a few extra seconds to process information than others or gather thoughts or what I want to say. Trouble articulating sometimes. Feel awkward. Constant distant look in my eyes ( others have pointed this out.) Felt like I'm just going through the motions of life, don't feel emotionally like an 18 year old (more like 15) never really felt like I had a childhood or full teen experience, or those milestones and rites of passage if it makes sense. Barely any sense of self or confidence. Trouble with feeling romantic connections, don't feel that ""spark during sex"" could also be because I haven't met the right person   Category #2: Real life problems   -My mom ( total narcissist and begins of alcoholism. Found 6 empty wine bottles in a backpack that were hers. Always been her therapist, scapegoat, object to manipulate for her amusement and projections. Had mental breakdown first year at university and she twisted the situation to guilt, manipulate and minimize my feelings that I didn't realize it was a mental breakdown for a few months until after it happened. Mom tries to control and manipulate everything I do and uses me for narcissistic supply, goes through my things and tries to gather intel to use against me to abide to her demands)  -Debt ( student loans of around 10k. unpaid credit card debt of about 10 months around 2k. Owe mom 6k. Back in with mom because if this)   -School ( flunked out and got 3 credits this year because my issues got the better of me and I never went to class, wasted all my tuition money because I had a break from reality and melt down, couldn't focus, etc.. on probation but can re apply in a year. I'm about two years behind everyone else and feel awful and guilty about myself)  -Legal. MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE. ( saw a 26 year old man I met on an app at 17 and for some reason thought this was a good idea. He is horribly abusive, manipulative etc.. we had sex. One day posted him on the dirty out of rage detailing all he did to me. Been almost two years and we both have tried and can't get post down. He wants to sue me in court. They send papers to your house, so if does go through with the process my mom would get them first. She has no idea of this and would rage)   Friends ( have none. Have problems with closeness, feeling relatable to others, overly awkward and self conscious. Can't stay at any friends place. Stuck with N mom. Feel like I'm missing out on life)  Dating and romance ( no bfs or current dates. ONLY seem to attract narcissists or creeps. Used to use sex as a way to get guys to like me ""secure them down"" Been told I'm really attractive so this combined with my codependency is a recipe for men to use me)  Career ( not sure what I want to do in life. Plan to go to university in Paris in a year or so after I sort my issues just for a fresh start. Mom manipulated me into believing I was bad at math so I never pursued anything in math or business and did poli science first year as my mom convinced me, she did it also. Got good grades in it until I stopped going to school. Not sure if I want to continue it)   Overall, I feel like I've missed out on most of what my life could have been. I've never had a bf, just men who have used me. Was never popular and never really had friends, went to prom alone, never got asked to dances by guys despite being attractive I guess they sense my issues etc etc.. ) ",-0.9944,negative,lonely
34,MentalHealthSupport,My Life's A Mess and I'm All Alone In It,listener_1,2,"I don't feel like I have any particularly useful advice for you, especially with the legal issues. However, I can totally see that at 18 it would feel like a huge deal to have flunked out of college and accumulated debt, and it *does* suck. But I have my masters degree in college student development.  It's very normal to have no idea what career you really want yet. It's unfortunate that our culture expects (and even thinks it's acceptable) to push young adults into debt through higher education. With all of the issues you have faced, I am impressed you managed to get those 3 credits! I have had to counsel students who flunked entire semesters over much less intense situations. Aim for resilience. ",-0.5674,negative,disappointed
34,MentalHealthSupport,My Life's A Mess and I'm All Alone In It,speaker,3,Thanks  I posted it awhile ago and I'm doing a lot better lately !,0.7263,positive,grateful
35,MentalHealthSupport,"Help, My body tries to reject everything I eat",speaker,1,"Hello, I'm 19-year-old college student. I recently drove about 600 miles away from home to get to my place off campus. I usually feel a little nauseous when I'm eating breakfast (I figure its my bodily functions getting started in the morning). But ever since I came back for the fall '17/18 semester, I've been wanting to throw up with almost every bite that I eat and it's begun to worry me. I'm not sure if this is mental or otherwise but I'm hoping to receive any advice or similar stories, Clearly, there is no substitute for going to see a health professional which I plan to do as soon as my schedule clears up, thank you in advance.",0.4323,positive,anxious
35,MentalHealthSupport,"Help, My body tries to reject everything I eat",speaker,2,update: fuck you guys ,-0.5423,negative,angry
35,MentalHealthSupport,"Help, My body tries to reject everything I eat",listener_1,3,"Sorry, I think this subreddit just isn't frequented very much. Yes, I clearly recommend you go to the dr. Hope everything went well.   Maybe it's your gallbladder? ",0.8974,positive,suggesting
36,MentalHealthSupport,Am I crazy or just unfiltered?,speaker,1,"I don't know which aspect to begin in. I'll start with anger. Basically I have an obsessive desire to break, and destroy things when I'm either unsatisfied or feel like a failure. Little things from video games to school work, to bumping my elbow on a door. Just today I lost a fight in a video game to an AI and absolutely lost my shit (I felt as if my skills deminshed by two fold over night) and I started hitting kicking and throwing my PS4 (yes I had a warranty thank god) and it just kept escalating to the point I picked up an office chair and was about to smash it on the console, mind you the same chair I broke last night by smashing it into my floor successfully putting a hole in my floor. Another example, was a little road rage incident where I was calm but someone was mad enough to follow me to my house and I heard them yelling from outside my garage so I grabbed my pocket knife and ran outside to only see him driving off. But that wasn't a big deal for me besides I was so willing to just take a slice at his throat, not even a good 'ol boxing match in my front yard. But I proceeded to want to find his car at night and light it a blaze and watch it explode, after those thoughts faded I thought "" I have enough money to get a shotgun right now and just blast him and his family or maybe light there house on fire. Also last week my typical route home was blocked by homeless bum fucks doing a protest, I figured out who organized the event and pretty much had the point of genocide or imprisonment towards the homeless in my town. When I get really angry I think about just driving and side swiping cars or hitting those stupid bicyclists that ride in the road and use their fucking hand like a blinker. But besides my raging violent outbursts, homicidal and genocidal thoughts, I also have extreme suicidal thoughts. When I was younger I tried on several occasions but now I'm at the point I either go all the way with a fool proof attempt (trains, guns, cyanide) or not at all. But I shut down completely. If I'm at work I ask to go home, if I'm at college I get up and leave, if I'm at home I stare off and seem like a vegetable, stop eating. I just will chain smoke cigarettes till my checking account is empty. I also have extreme social anxiety. I can't look at people in the eyes, I feel very self conscious about the way I walk, as if it'll attract attention, I look at everyone like the moment they approach me they might attack me. I'm a fucking mess. Idk what keeps me going and keep on trying, it's probably just visceral. Any thoughts, and no I don't feel like going to a therapist (been seeing em since age 6 after my first attempt, death has always felt natural even when I didn't understand it or it's consequences) because I know they will look at me with horror if I reveal to them the thoughts I wouldn't even share on the internet.",-0.9968,negative,angry
36,MentalHealthSupport,Am I crazy or just unfiltered?,listener_1,2,"It doesn't matter that you don't feel like going to see a therapist, because if you keep going like this you could possibly be incarcerated or involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric facility so get yourself some voluntary treatment. ",0.1818,positive,apprehensive
36,MentalHealthSupport,Am I crazy or just unfiltered?,speaker,3,Voluntary treatment would result in me being admitted to a mental health facility. I have a job and college to keep up with. ,0.1027,positive,terrified
36,MentalHealthSupport,Am I crazy or just unfiltered?,listener_1,4,"No, it wouldn't. Not if you're of sound mind and can made sound decisions and willingly seek therapy. That's sane, and does not warrant involuntary treatment. The way you're speaking, you sound like you're highly manic, aggressive, and like you're going to hurt someone or yourself soon. That won't end well for you, so just get help. It will take a while to see a qualified psychiatrist, so just make the call now. Don't be afraid of succeeding. ",0.6214,positive,terrified
37,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone successfully blocked a certain memory from coming as often or triggering/distressing you?,speaker,1,"There are just some things I really want to forget or at least keep from triggering me so I can move forward with my life. Is there some sort of psychological technique that I could use to ""forget"" certain things or prevent them from distressing me as much? I hope that makes sense. If you have any useful coping mechanisms from your experiences in therapy to share, I would appreciate them. ",0.7737,positive,suggesting
37,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone successfully blocked a certain memory from coming as often or triggering/distressing you?,listener_1,2,"I use mindfulness skills with my clients a lot. This helps center your mind on the present vs the past. You start by focusing on your breath and then focusing your attention to an object or sound. If you are holding a pencil, for example, you look at every detail of it, look at the texture of it, the smell, etc. also if these triggering thoughts come up again just accept them for what they are, they are not good or bad, and then let them pass and return your focus. You can google it to for more info. Also I would recommend you see a therapist. If your memories are due to a trauma the way you brain remembers those memories  dysregulated. This means you brain does not process them like a normal memory and therapy can help you process these memories normally so they can be less triggering. Also identifying what is triggering the memories because that can help too. ",0.8416,positive,questioning
37,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone successfully blocked a certain memory from coming as often or triggering/distressing you?,speaker,3,"Thanks for your advice. By the way, What kind of therapy would help me process these memories normally? Is there a name for it?   Also, what do I do after I identify the triggers?    ",0.7303,positive,questioning
38,MentalHealthSupport,I want to get involved in some kind of work but I also don't want to?,speaker,1,Sitting and doing nothing makes me super restless.  I think about getting involved with something. The thought itself causes so much anxiety that I end up having to resort to distractions like YouTube or gaming to calm myself down.  Rinse and repeat.  I've tried actually getting up and doing it but anything that takes longer than one week makes me anxious af.  Anyone else have or had this problem? Care to shed some light?,-0.6072,negative,anxious
38,MentalHealthSupport,I want to get involved in some kind of work but I also don't want to?,listener_1,2,"I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I've been off work for a year, have been looking for a job for the past few months and find the intense anxiety that comes with the interview process is extremely draining.  It's taken me two weeks to put the last interview behind me. Video games have given me great distraction to escape racing thoughts. But for me too much avoidance definitely lowers my mood and contributes to dissociation.  I find that after I've been triggered I need a bit of distraction to stop my anxiety from spiraling. It's not helpful to push myself too much when in a heightened state of reactivity. Once it has calmed down a bit I can sense when distraction from current anxiety becomes avoidance of anticipated future anxiety. At this point I know I'm ready to push myself a bit more to accomplish goals.  Overall, job searching and being interviewed are my biggest triggers. I have a couple volunteer positions which has helped tremendously. It gets me out of the house, makes me feel valued, and gives me practice building up my tolerance to work even though it's unpaid.  It is such a personal process to manage anxiety. Have compassion for yourself, you are doing the best you can and over time it becomes easier to recognize what works for you and what doesn't. I'm not sure if this will be helpful for you, but I certainly hope it is.  ",0.9765,positive,agreeing
38,MentalHealthSupport,I want to get involved in some kind of work but I also don't want to?,speaker,3,"I wish there was some activity where I could just go and get started. No need for an interview or anything of the sort. Just go there and get started on the work they give me. Something to, as you said, 'feel valuable'   Thanks for responding, man. ",0.7579,positive,acknowledging
39,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Find The Point To Anything / Reality is false,speaker,1,"Hi all.  I have chronic anxiety & major depression (like many people).  The last relationship I had ended at the beginning of 2016, so it hasnt been that long and since then I've been taking the time to try and ""fix"" myself and make sure I am a person worth loving.  However, I find that the idea of starting a new relationship with someone is... not daunting, but revolving around something like ""Your sickness will just cause it to not work,"" or something like that.  I have little to no self esteem. I hate myself a lot, for a variety of reasons. I also just can't see the point in a lot of things like relationships.  Part of this stems from how pessimistic I seem to have become. I don't see the point because everything ends and everything dies, so why bother?  Why bother trying again and again and again to find someone who I work with, who truly enjoys the same things as me, who helps me see the world in a better way, who makes me want to continue to live?  Secondarily, I also have a condition that was caused by brain trauma as an infant. The condition causes me to have a delay between what I see and how I process/interact with it. This has caused me years of feeling like my entire existence is false, that I am stuck inside a dream, that everything is not real. Nothing matters because nothing actually feels real to me. Which means I find it very hard to find a reason to try.  Why try when this could all (highly) possibly be an illusion? Why try when tomorrow I may wake up from this dream and forget this existence as a passing thought, a half remembered dream...  It drives me mad. Like a splinter in my mind that someone placed there, it itches in my soul, nagging at me that something about this life is not right and there must be somewhere else.  I am also having trouble ""feeling"" time. I know what time it is and how long something takes, but if it was 5 minutes or 5 months ago it all feels like the same length.   Most of all, I am tired. I am tired of fighting this. Tired of existing in this false place. I am so tired of hating myself and being a fucking idiot. Tired of making my family and friends deal with all this drivel. Tired of feeling that by denying these feelings, i am turning my back on a separate reality, a higher reality, that is calling to me every minute of every day. By denying that, it feels like the invisible portal is slowly closing and I will be trapped here forever.  Honestly, I just would like to die. Sometimes violently killing myself, but other times just quietly slipping away and erasing my existence from the memory of every person I've ever had any impact upon. That'd be ideal, but nothing is ideal in this life. It's always some riff on what you truly wanted. Nobody truly knows what lies beyond death, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious.  Sorry for the long winded post. I don't even know why I am writing here. I'm just tired of being tired. Tired of feeling the gut wrenching disconnectedness. Tired of hating myself & thinking that I am worthless, and that everything else is seemingly worthless too.  All the best & thank you (even if this isn't real) for your responses.",-0.9974,negative,apprehensive
39,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Find The Point To Anything / Reality is false,listener_1,2,I'm sorry to hear what you are struggling with. It sounds overwhelming and frustrating. I can see how it would be hard for you to want want a relationship when you question yourself and the world constantly. I think right now a relationship would just be one extra stresser. Have you tried seeing a counselor about what is going on? It sounds like you want a change but may not feel hopeful you can or if there is a way to change. Sometimes talking to someone about these things can help. Also if your suicidal thoughts persist or intensify you can always call the suicide prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255,-0.9477,negative,sympathizing
39,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Find The Point To Anything / Reality is false,listener_2,3,Glad I could contribute. Says you're deleted but hope you're still around =),0.8793,positive,encouraging
40,MentalHealthSupport,Why cant i switch off?,speaker,1,For the past 6 years ive noticed that i cant seem to switch off. I always have to be doing something whether its work or gaming or researching things im interested in  I dont know how to relax. For me relaxing is just a slightly less stressed version of me. Its got to a point now where i dont take holidays because i cant just sit around and do nothing other than get a tan  Id quite easily work a year without taking hardly anytime off because im just hardwired like that. I did have therapy a few months ago but that was to tackle more personal problems woth anxiety and depression. Problem is now im workong 14 hour days (inc commuting) that i dont have time to have counselling during the week  Why cant i switch off?,-0.8787,negative,content
40,MentalHealthSupport,Why cant i switch off?,listener_1,2,"Are you sleeping well? Some people like to work all of the time, and for some people that's OK. Sounds like you don't have hobbies? You don't enjoy television, books, internet, anything like that? Trying scheduling yourself routinely some days off with maybe your hobbies ""scheduled"" for you to do. Even though it will be some down time you will have it scheduled out for you to do so maybe you will actually do it. ",0.7588,positive,suggesting
40,MentalHealthSupport,Why cant i switch off?,speaker,3,"No i have hobbies, i have dancing, guitar and video games. I just have troubling switching off even when doing those.  I sleep ok get 6 to 9 hours a night",-0.5423,negative,content
40,MentalHealthSupport,Why cant i switch off?,listener_1,4,"I should have asked this earlier, but what is your definition of switching off?",0.0,neutral,questioning
40,MentalHealthSupport,Why cant i switch off?,speaker,5,Not thinking about things like work or what i need to do when i get home etc.,0.3612,positive,anxious
41,MentalHealthSupport,Friend with depression,speaker,1,"My friend who has suffered from depression for years is pushing me away. I've tried reaching out to her in many ways but she's being very unavailable and testy. Meanwhile, I want my best friend back because I need someone to talk to about my own stuff. It makes me feel like since I'm not depressed, she figures I'm fine and won't help me with my problems. I'm trying my best and haven't voiced any of this to her because I'm afraid it will send her to a darker place. What do I do?",0.9636,positive,lonely
41,MentalHealthSupport,Friend with depression,listener_1,2,"It sounds like your grieving for your relationship with your friend. I can understand how it can be hard to feel like you lost your primary support person. You are doing the right thing in providing her support. She maybe in a place where she needs to take care of her own mental health before she can really be a support to you. She may need to make sure she is healthy before she can help someone else. I tell this to my clients all the time "" take care of yourself before someone else because if don't you can't really take care of them."" I would suggest the same with you. Is there someone other than her you can talk to or can you talk to a therapist?. A lot of times people how are depressed or struggling may push others away because they may feel shameful for putting their loved ones through what they are going through.  She could also be Embarrassed. Have patients with her. If she gets treatment she should be able to come out of her depression. I hope for the best for you and her. ",0.9462,positive,sad
41,MentalHealthSupport,Friend with depression,speaker,3,She does see a therapist and I do too it's just frustrating that I don't have her as a close friend anymore.,0.0772,positive,lonely
41,MentalHealthSupport,Friend with depression,listener_1,4,I can understand that. I lost someone recently who was part of my support system and it can feel very empty without them. I have found journaling to be helpful when processing grief and writing things I wish I could say to them just so my thoughts and emotions can be outside of myself. ,0.1548,positive,sentimental
41,MentalHealthSupport,Friend with depression,speaker,5,"I've done that before but I don't want it to backfire and lose her trust because she thinks I'm gunna tell her mom everything. If I thought it was an emergency, I would reach out though.   Things just aren't the same between us and I hope it gets better. ",0.7199,positive,trusting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,1," My best friend, with whom we share romantic feelings for one another, has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I love her so much that I even moved here with the intention of starting at a community college, and once I could establish in-state, I would move up to the local university from which I would graduate.   Well, as things would have it, the world is not perfect and things have a bad habit of falling through. As I got ready to transfer to the university this year, I was given the news that I would not be considered in-state, and that I would need to stay out of school for an entire year before I could re-apply. You can imagine my disappointment, as school is something that truly gives me joy. This brings me to the core of my issue. I have two options... I could either stay here for the year to establish in-state, or I could move back home, get in-state now, and do what I need to do to stay on track. As I've mentioned before, my best friend has BPD... and she has critical abandonment issues. Every time I've brought up the possibility of moving back home to ensure my financial stability, she explodes. We always end up fighting about it, and the fights always turn into giant screaming matches. What makes it worse is that I have severe anxiety that is triggered by emotional trauma, and anytime we fight, I spiral into a depressive, panic-filled state. The point is that it never ends well for either of us, and I've even had to up my meds for my anxiety and depression as a result of all this crashing down at once.   I really don't know what to do. My head is telling me to do the smart thing and go home for my own financial stability, but my heart wants me to stay here with her. She's always had problems making friends because they've never understood her BPD, and has lost many friends as a result. Because I love her so much, I don't want to be a part of this statistic, and I want to show her that I am not these people.... Am I stupid for being so confused? I just don't know what to do... I'm so tired, and I want her to be happy because she deserves it, but at the same time.... do I sacrifice myself in order to do that? ",0.7024,positive,devastated
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_1,2,"Make the responsible choice for yourself. If the friendship is meant to last, it will work itself out. You can't let someone else's issues hold you hostage, that isn't healthy. I know people with BPD. She will adjust even though it will take time. ",0.4482,positive,trusting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,3,Thank you! I feel like what you've told me gives me a sort've structure with which to frame my discussions with her from now on. I've also started researching BPD to try and learn more about it so I can try to understand her reactions to things a little more. Hopefully we'll learn some better coping methods through this.,0.8722,positive,acknowledging
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,4,"I second the advise left here. I also have BPD (with many other mental health issues that join in on my overly emotional reactions). How an issue is approached is key. Verbally acknowledge and validate her fears while expressing yours as calmly as possible. This can be difficult to implement sometimes in the heat of the moment unfortunately but visible effort, for me at least, can also help all of the crazy scenarios my brain cooks up that come with the fear of being abandoned. (I can still end up crazy angry no matter what, but I sometimes can come out of it more quickly and efficiently than if my fears are, as far as I'm shown, brushed off and downplayed [no one can read minds. If it's not voiced, I tend to take the situation at face value lol]. If I can calm more quickly, I can generally express why I  may have just freaked out which can help with understanding each other if discussed. Sometimes I don't actually know why, so I should not assume she will always know why.)  Good luck! I hope all ends well for you both. 💚😁",0.9667,positive,trusting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_3,5,"Glad I could help! Once again: Good luck, and thanks for being such a great friend to someone with BPD!!!",0.9718,positive,wishing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_4,6,I can't disagree with that!,0.3561,positive,agreeing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,7,"Thank you! Do you have any advice as to how to deal with her immediate reactions? Something I struggle with is that I am very sensitive to other people's emotions, and it's very easy for me to get overwhelmed in the heat of the moment (I have anxiety myself). Do you personally have any advice as for how I can confront that? I want to be as open and loving and supportive as I can for her, but at the same time I know I need to still be firm. ",0.665,positive,questioning
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,8,"If the immediate reaction is still a huge explosion try your best to just go to separate so you can both calm down before trying again. I'm  not going to lie, however, I'm not sure why you'd need to ""be firm""...of you truly love her and she you, you should communicate and find a compromise. Neither should be reprimanding of the other in this situation.",0.9317,positive,neutral
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,9,"I guess I should clarify what I mean when I say ""be firm"", lol. No, I would never be reprimanding of her, that's the exact opposite of what I want. I guess what I mean is that I want to be able to communicate my needs without bending or getting too emotional? ",0.6124,positive,angry
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,10,"Ooohhh! Ok. Good. I'm sorry to have jumped to conclusions with that...i have a bit of PTSD and trust issues and the phrasing reminded me of a lot of shitty guys that have been in my life. Lol my bad!  Anyway, to answer this question, it may take a lot of communication about both of your disorders and how they effect you both individually first. ""Going in blind"" so to speak will just lead to escalations again I'd imagine. Also try your best to be aware of your own emotions and reactions while the subject is approached as well as her's if you can. If things start to become too much at that moment, communicate that and work on that before continuing. I'm not sure the physical distance between the 2 locations (example I live in MA very close to the new Hampshire border and many schools just over it, but would still be ""out of state"")...but if visiting each other is a possible option talk about that, if it's not then talk about other ways to stay in contact and not lose touch. Maybe she could/would be willing to wait with you until you can both go to the school together or whatever. Tbh I can see some of what might be scaring her about this, it would certainly pop into my head....""if he intends to go to this same school with me eventually, leaving the state would just put him back to where he is now as far as ""in state"" or ""out of state"" student status, so how could he possibly come back? Why would he even bother trying to come back?"" - how my brain may react. I may be wrong with this though, but I think discussing options and maybe addressing this piece and asking her how she feels about it might be a good step. - tbh it would just put you back to step 1 later with your residential student status.  Basically:  - try to stay calm and try to notice your own reactions and emotions too (I have anxiety disorders too and the social paranoia in BPD can act similarly as well, if that helps)  - ask her about her thoughts and feelings on it so her concerns and fears can be properly addressed.   - look at all of your own options and discuss them with her as well. (Not knowing your actual financial situation, I'm wondering is random scholarships are appealing to you that may help while still ""out of state"" status if you did try staying. I would recommend browsing through scholarships.com...they are probably a ton you could qualify for just from having anxiety disorders for example. If you live seperatly from you parents or are over 24 - I think that's the age for this - you no longer are required to provide parental income info on FASFA and depending on you're personal/household income that may end up being beneficial for you with financial aid.) If you truly cannot financially stay and need school for your own mental state, talk to her about that and the options involving going back. Maybe she would be willing to go with you. Maybe setting up plans on stating in contact will be comforting for her.  In the end, all you can truly do is work on your own approach and handling of a situation. There is no way to 100% predict her reactions and be 100% prepared for them. You can try to predict and control your own behaviors and reactions but not other people's. Show her you care as best you can without sacrificing the things that you cannot logically or realistically sacrifice. Though, in relationships, small sacrifices and compromise are inevitable or the relationship WILL fail (with friends, family, and lovers). That doesn't mean sacrifice what makes you who you are or things that are just not practical or doable (I've tried that with some aunts, uncles, and my father...so trust me, too much sacrifice can end just as poorly as too little sacrifice). I wish I could be of more help to you, but the most I can say, again, is that you can't predict how someone else will react in the actual situation, so just try your best and hope for the best. Good luck! I hope this helped at least a little bit more. 😀",0.9977,positive,sympathizing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,11,"It helped more than you can possibly know, believe me. Coming back to see her is definitely a possibility. One benefit that I do have is that my Dad works for one of the major airlines, and as long as I attend school, I can fly all around the country, as much as I want, for free. Coming back would definitely not be an issue, and in theory, I could come back as much as I want. Distance wise, we're 2-3 states apart. Not a long distance, but not a short one either. It's about a seven-eight hour drive by car. ",0.802,positive,grateful
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,12,"I'm glad to have helped. ^_^ Also, the airline thing with your dad is so cool! - Sorry, traveling is a thing I wish I could do, so I thought the free flights while in school thing was super awesome.",0.9624,positive,sympathizing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,13,"It's really handy... only problem is while I may not have to pay for flights, I still can't afford to get off the plane if that makes sense lol",0.0341,neutral,neutral
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,14,It does. Lol hotels can cost more than the flight.,0.4215,positive,agreeing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,15,She found out that I was thinking about leaving. She exploded and came at me with physical violence. Started punching me and going for my throat. Now shes saying she cant trust me and that looking at me makes her sick. She keeps trying to manipulare my emotions to make me stay. She's threatening to cut me off...  What do I do?!,-0.9422,negative,furious
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,16,"I don't think you'll like my idea on that. It's your relationship and I don't know her...but if she's acting like that, I'd call the police to either bring to impatient psychiatric treatment or a holding cell. If she is violent with you, I'm not sure what else to say for this. I've been in psych and arrested for that behavior. If nothing else, it was a big wake up call that I did need help.",-0.7948,negative,terrified
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,17,"She calmed down and got better... been a lot of crying between the both of us. I love her so much and I want to stay for her....but.... do you feel like I need to go home still? She keeps threatening that she wont trust me anymore and wont talk to me, and thats ripping my heart out of my chest. Are my emotions getting the better of me?",0.8947,positive,sad
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,18,"I don't want to sound harsh, but this is starting to sound more like a controlling/abusive relationship from her to you. My ex-boyfriend and some other guys I've been interested in have tried to pull some of this and a bunch of my friends and family went threw it big time. I'm honestly concerned for safety and mental health right now.  With my ex I ignored red flags assuming it was my own paranoia and anxiety and let him talk down my concerns, explore my body more than I really wanted, hide me from the people in his life, cheat on me - even though I knew he was, I said nothing on it. I only know your end of this encounter, but it sounds dangerous and is not just you being paranoid and anxious. I think this goes beyond mental health issues at this point and should look more for relation ship councling at best. I'm sorry to be so blunt here, but I'm very concerned for you. I wish you the best. Stay safe. Try not to sell yourself short. Your relationship status and mental anxiety does not define or decide your value on this earth.",0.9613,positive,trusting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,19,"I know you aren't, and I appreciate your honesty. I just don't know how to end this with her. Its tearing me apart, physically and mentally.",0.2363,positive,agreeing
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,20,"I think there are some anonymous hotlines available too for stuff like this you can reach out to. Obviously there's the suicide hotline (I've never called them myself, but I'm sure they would be able to help you figure out mental health resources and such. They may have a better idea with how to help you with this situation too)",0.9178,positive,suggesting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,21,"Tbh. Just safety-wise that can be tricky sometimes. Emotionally, I've seen it tear people down. But, I've also watched those same people find peace again later on. I don't want to tell you what to do. I have no right to do so, honestly. But I do think this goes into the realm of interpersonal relationships along side both of your own handlings of you're illnesses both together and seperatly. I'd recommend talking with those closest to you if you're able and if you have a therapist or doctor you see for your anxiety disorders, I'd talk to them too. They will be your support and can also probably give you better advice since they probably know the both of you more personally.",0.8914,positive,trusting
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",speaker,22,"Im already talking to my mom and dad. They're wanting to come get me out of here next week, as soon as their able. They're scared for me and they've had enough of me being in pain",-0.7351,negative,afraid
42,MentalHealthSupport,"Confused, hurt, and tired... (Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Severe Anxiety)",listener_2,23,"Ok. I'd recommend at the least looking at that option. Try to keep things ""calm"" until they can get there or you get something figured out. At this point, ""playing along"" for now may be best. Though idk if she'll get a hold of this thread before then. ❤ Stay safe and keep contact with those closest to you that you can trust if you can do so in a safe way (idk if she's making you have her check your phone or if you get space at any point or whatever). Stay safe. You can do this! She may be mentally ill, but that's not a ""free pass"" to treat anyone poorly. If she isn't willing to better herself for you, herself, or anyone else, that's not ok.",0.8407,positive,consoling
43,MentalHealthSupport,I can't figure out myself,speaker,1,"I am feeling really heavy in my chest. I want to weep. I want to wash out the poison from my body. I think that tears will do that. I can't really explaining what's bothering me. I have a loving family, dear friends, and people around me who care. I am an average looking person who looks good occasionally. I laugh everyday. I work really hard. I am trying to make travel friction less in Pakistan. I can't really figure out myself. From what do I want to fill the space I have in me. Do I need a relationship? Do I need more friends? Do I need success in my startup? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. I just want to weep. Loudly. So everyone can hear. I want to cry so much that my throat becomes sour.",0.8806,positive,sad
43,MentalHealthSupport,I can't figure out myself,listener_1,2,I am sorry you are feeling so down... I have been feeling shitty too and haven't been able to know why. If you need anyone to talk to you can message me.,-0.4404,negative,sympathizing
43,MentalHealthSupport,I can't figure out myself,speaker,3,It sure does suck. I am feeling better now. Thank you. It always passes. I am grateful for the support. ,0.875,positive,grateful
43,MentalHealthSupport,I can't figure out myself,speaker,4,It sure does suck. I am feeling better now. Thank you. It always passes. I am grateful for the support. ,0.875,positive,grateful
44,MentalHealthSupport,Recently diagnosed bipolar II,speaker,1,"A little intimidated by the diagnosis, and I've tried to do some research on bp II but what I'm really looking for is anyone's first hand experience with what I am working through right now. And it would be great if anyone would share with me some things, prescribed medication/yoga/healthy eating/anything, that help with this struggle.   Thanks!",0.9564,positive,apprehensive
44,MentalHealthSupport,Recently diagnosed bipolar II,listener_1,2,"Hi! I was diagnosed with BP II two years ago. I was similarly shaken by the diagnosis. Like it really really shook me. It took me months to accept the diagnosis. I am a neuroscientist and so I set out to see what is known about BP II. Sadly, all I found was really detailed information on BP I and then a hand-wavey statement saying something like ""...and bipolar 2 is less severe."" I was not satisfied with that, so I actually bought a textbook on Manic Depressive Order and that was when I was able to finally find information that I related to.  BP II Is characterized by more depression than hypomania (of course this differs for everyone). The depressive episodes also tend to be more severe in BP II than BP I. It was also a life-changer to learn about mixed episodes -- also more common in BP II but overall not super common. I have had mixed episodes for YEARS and never knew what to call them! I would always describe them as ""ants"" in therapy.  In terms of lifestyle, I have a number of suggestions. (1) Sleep hygiene is VERY important. Try to get up and go to sleep around the same time every day. (2) Take your meds!! And take them at the same time every day. (3) Eat regularly. No need to go vegan or paleo or anything fancy, just take care of yourself. That being said, BP meds are notorious for weight gain so do be mindful. (4) Exercise. I do yoga, weight lifting, and cycling (just a little of each) and I find that the combination of strength and cardio really harnesses all my energies. Maybe you're noticing the pattern here: keep a regular schedule. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE.  Medication that I have tried: Prozac (the one constant -- I've been on this from the start and still am) Abilify Lamictal Saphris Deplin Lithium Klonopin Seroquel Latuda Rexulti Pramiprexole  Currently I am stable on 40mg Prozac, 0.5mg Klonopin, 800mg Seroquel, and 1.5mg Pramiprexole. As you can see there is a lot of trial and error. And also, it's pretty much impossible to find a mix with NO side effects. I get jaw pain from prozac, increased appetite from Seroquel, and difficulty sleeping from pramiprexole. But honestly, at this point, I'll take it and deal with it.  I'm always available if you want to chat or are looking for guidance/advice. I've done a lot of hard work and I'd be happy to help you out!",0.9125,positive,apprehensive
44,MentalHealthSupport,Recently diagnosed bipolar II,speaker,3,Thank you so much!!! I really really appreciate it and I'll definitely reach out if I need some advice! ,0.867,positive,acknowledging
44,MentalHealthSupport,Recently diagnosed bipolar II,speaker,4,"Hey, thanks so much. It's really comforting to hear from someone who has a lot of experience with this, and even more so to see that you're doing really well. Gives me a lot of hope!! ",0.895,positive,acknowledging
44,MentalHealthSupport,Recently diagnosed bipolar II,listener_2,5,"You are so welcome! Lots of self compassion.  Oh! Another helpful hint, journals are amazing! My journal is my best friend and it helps when you're trying to sort out the racing thoughts from mixed/hypomanic episodes.   All the best for you and hoping you find some good tools that work for you.  Mental illness is rough because every one is so different! Self-care can be fun to test out too.",0.9883,positive,wishing
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,speaker,1,"I saw a new psychiatrist today. I had to change bc of insurance. We talked about my medication and diagnosis. I go to the receptionist to make my next appointment. She tells me he wants to see my in 2 weeks for “counseling”. I said “who’s gonna counsel me?” She said “he is”, referring to the psychiatrist. I found this so strange and unusual and do not plan to see him again.",-0.3327,negative,apprehensive
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_1,2,I'm a bit confused.  Your psychiatrist wants to see you again in two weeks?  That's pretty great.  I got booked in for mid-December after my October appointment.   What didn't you like about him/her?,0.6428,positive,questioning
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,speaker,3,"He wants to see me to “counsel” me. I thought psychiatrists prescribe medication, counselors counsel. I’ve seen at least 4 psychiatrists over 15 years. Never ever have any of them scheduled an appointment to counsel me. ",0.0,neutral,apprehensive
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_2,4,"To my knowledge not many can do both, but there are deffinatly some that can and will do both. I only found this out recently too after about 14-15 years of mental health care for myself. I'm currently between doctors and would love to find one like this near me. They usually require I go to therapy too anyway even though ""talk it out"" therapy has always been counterproductive for me. I might as well use the same doc for both.  If you like this doctor and find this doctor helpful, I'd stick with him. I would imagine prescribing helpful medication will be easier if he also handles your therapy sessions.",0.9853,positive,hopeful
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_3,5,"Not true.  Psychiatrists not only counsel but as MDs, they can prescribe meds.  Not only meds but meds on an ongoing basis.  Even some Family Physicians are leery about antipsychotics for the long term.    Psychotherapists just counsel but they can be helpful as well.  I see mine every two weeks.",0.6892,positive,apprehensive
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_1,6,I've seen those type of psychiatrists also.  The good ones actually talk to you.  They have far more training than counsellors.,0.4404,positive,trusting
45,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_2,7,"Him not mentioning it to you might be worth asking about. I may just be paranoid, but usually when I run into this type of thing, I'll find out later that some legal procedures were being ignored...just little stuff, but enough to cause concern now. It probably just slipped his mind though in all honesty. If it worries or confuses you, he may have answers about the handling of this.",-0.1655,negative,suggesting
46,MentalHealthSupport,"Please provide thoughts, feelings, opinions and any other feedback you have regarding this sub. Also I am looking for an attentive mod.",speaker,1,"Hi everyone, I would like to invite you to share your thoughts about this community and what you would like to see or not see here as well as what direction in which you would like to move. At the moment there are no set rules or requirements as I feel it is best to let things happen organically. My biggest goal right now is providing as much feedback as we can for people who ask for assistance.  As a second order of business, this sub is very slow moving but nonetheless those of you that do post here are entitled to the type of responsive moderation that I have been unable to provide the last few months. Thusly I am looking for some help. If you are interested in a low key modding gig and fit the following criteria, please feel free to shoot me a DM and tell me a little about yourself and how you would like to be of assistance to the community.  - On reddit regularly, at least two logins per twenty four hour period and several posts per week.  - Willing to participate in and encourage discussion.  - Able or at least willing to respond to OP's in need with meaningful and validating responses as opposed to the trite, cliche feedback that is common in mental health subreddits (ie: ""see a therapist"", ""you are worth it"", ""you are allowed to feel that way"" etc.)  Thank you for taking the time to read and participate. I value you.",0.9927,positive,trusting
46,MentalHealthSupport,"Please provide thoughts, feelings, opinions and any other feedback you have regarding this sub. Also I am looking for an attentive mod.",listener_1,2,"I would love to see more support that includes taking care of the body properly as a first response to mental health problems.  Before therapy, drugs and other necessary solutions, we ought to advocate eating well, regular exercise, proper sleep and avoiding self-medicating.  When our physical vessels are not properly cared for, our mental health always suffers.  It has become increasingly clear to me that my mental health is my responsibility, no one else's, and I have to be 100% willing to do whatever is necessary to advocate for myself.  Contributing factors aside, I am the only one who can make the changes needed to live better.",0.7882,positive,faithful
46,MentalHealthSupport,"Please provide thoughts, feelings, opinions and any other feedback you have regarding this sub. Also I am looking for an attentive mod.",speaker,3,"This is an awesome post and I whole heartedly agree.  Part of the reason this sub was created was my problem with other mental health subs where basically if you give any feedback that even insinuates that OP but bear some kind of responsibility for their recovery, you get eviscerated.   ",0.4497,positive,agreeing
46,MentalHealthSupport,"Please provide thoughts, feelings, opinions and any other feedback you have regarding this sub. Also I am looking for an attentive mod.",listener_2,4,"I honestly don't understand why people get angry about taking responsibility for their own recovery/treatment and what not. Loved ones should obviously want to be supportive and helpful, but they won't ever fully know what you feel. Even with other types of illnesses and disorders a person needs to self-advicate a bit. No type of illness (mental OR physical) is another person's entire responsibility to treat for you. I am glad you tried to address this tbh. ....Sorry, that was, probably far harsher sounding than I intended.....",-0.8138,negative,sympathizing
46,MentalHealthSupport,"Please provide thoughts, feelings, opinions and any other feedback you have regarding this sub. Also I am looking for an attentive mod.",listener_1,5,Maybe it should be mental health tough love.  It's not for everyone but putting your needs front and center will help the most in getting mental health back on track.  This includes being honest in the ways we hurt ourselves or self sabotage.  I would mod with you if you need help.  👍,0.5719,positive,suggesting
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,speaker,1,"Long story short... Home is a bad place for me. Parents are verbally abusive, neglectful, and occasionally physically abusive (not enough that CPS would do anything about it though) and I encountered a lot of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse from people outside of the home so I have pretty bad trauma.  I started taking dance last year and for the first time, made friends. Like, REAL ones. For the first time. And my dance teacher gave me all these amazing opportunities! I even got to meet Bill Clinton at one of our performances together. Slowly, he became the father I always wanted. He knows about my family to an extent and I have gone to him and received comfort in coping with my sexual abuse related trauma.  There’s some other people back home that are pretty great too, but it’s not as relevant to the story. Just know that I have bit of a support system who kind of knows how bad my situation is, so they can kind of understand why I act the way I do.  I met a boy this summer, and I won’t say his name because he uses reddit and I’m kinda terrified that he will read this... but just know, he was amazing. You see, when you are as traumatized as I am, especially from sexual abuse, no matter how good you are at concealing it in every day life, it 100% shows through in relationships. Because of this, I made a few mistakes in behavior that I simply cannot control because of what I’ve been through. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, sexual abuse, self harm, a shitty family... it weighs on you. And looking back on all the telltale signs I displayed to him makes me very very sad.  But he saw them, and he didn’t look down on me. He was one of the most remarkable beings I’ve ever met. How can a boy be that mature and understanding at 19??!!  And when you finally find someone, it fucks everything up because it just emphasizes how bad your trauma and baggage really is.  He was amazing, and completely understanding, but it was too soon and I found it impossible not to show him my past, even though I never told him straight out. He definitely at least figured out a part of it.  How could he not when I was visually terrified whenever he got close? Or when I screamed and blurted out “I thought you were going to grab my vagina” when he just playfully lunged at me.  But that boy... wow.  He made it clear that he wasn’t going to hurt me. He told me that in the most loving way, and even started a conversation about what my boundaries are so that he wouldn’t trigger any of my anxiety. He has anxiety too so he gets it.  I mean, I’ve had crushes before but this was... real. I can’t explain it, but we got each other. We were only actively speaking for a period of two weeks and then it all went to shit, but in those two weeks, this boy taught me so much and made me see the world in the most wonderful way.  I look at my surroundings in a different way because I was blessed with the privilege of spending time with him. I am a better person because he was in my life.  If he hadn’t broken my heart, he would’ve been the first to break down my walls. I love him (notice how I didn’t say ”in love.” There’s difference) and will ALWAYS love him.  Then he stopped talking to me because he was leaving soon and a few other complicated reasons but it was generally just really sad. It was not because he stopped liking me. We were very much falling for each other.  I never got to say goodbye. I never even kissed him!!! Or held his hand. He would’ve been my first kiss.  The reason why was because of how terrifying my trauma made this experience.  And now he’s thousands of miles away, and I’m in college. We probably won’t talk again for a long long while.  When I was in high school, I dreamed of being here, away from my horrible family and all of the people that have hurt me in my town. I even got into an a cappella group!! If I told myself that a few years ago, my younger self would cry Happy tears. That was her dream.  But you don’t understand, man. It’s not like I thought it would be here. I mean I knew it wouldn’t be perfect, but I didn’t think it would be this lonely.   In the last year back home, between my dance studio, my friends, and this boy, I developed something to miss.  While home life was horrendous and made me constantly want to die, I had that escape, and here, I just don’t.  All I have are memories and dreams of going back home. And granted, I would much rather be here in college because Home is horrible, but there’s just nobody here who I have a deep connection with yet. It’s lonely, and there’s only one person I’ve actually semi-bonded with. But it’s not anything like what I have back home. Most other people just make me feel sad because they don’t really care about me. I haven’t self harmed in over two weeks, which is huge for me!!! But the thing is, it’s really hard not to because the people that I used to not self harm for are miles and miles away and honestly, they don’t answer my calls as much as I wish they did. Not all of them, but a good portion.  My dance teacher is horrible at replying. He cares, but he’s just doing a shitty job at staying in touch. I will talk to him about it when I get back home, but right now, I’m just hurting a lot. Keep in mind, I see him as my father, and to have close to zero contact with him breaks me.  The first boy who EVER made me feel safe is in a different country and doesn’t want to talk to me, my dance teacher doesn’t answer me that  much, and the vast majority of people I talk to here regard me as a last option. It’s lonely.  I’m honestly just very very depressed and suicidal. That’s been a common thing ever since I even knew what suicide was as a child, but it’s worsening again. I’m reverting back into old ways because it feels like all of my life before senior year... with little to no people who even remotely cared. Sometimes, I can’t even count the amount of times I think of killing myself in a day because I simply constantly have the urge. Like, every second.  This isn’t even scratching the surface of everything. I’m trying to be brief but there’s just so much.  Any love would be appreciated. I really could use a hug right about now. ",-0.9929,negative,grateful
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,listener_1,2,"Wow, that's a lot of stuff and I wish I knew exactly what to say, but I don't exactly know. I want you to know that you will get through this. I have gone through really hard periods of anxiety and depression and I have gotten through them.   That there will be better days and that you know there are cool people out there. They exist and the ones you have already met are not the only ones.  In University, you could find other cool people. Are their interest groups or clubs of things that interest you as well? (I was in a Sci Fi club and met some people there that eventually became good friends). Are there social dance groups (swing, salsa,tango, ballroom)  ?  Are there support groups or counselors ?  Keep going a day at a time and life will get better.  (Hug)",0.9891,positive,hopeful
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,speaker,3,"That’s okay, I don’t really expect people to know what to say. It’s a lot to take in. If I told you the whole of it, you would be so shocked, lol. I understand that professionals are the only people I should expect to fully know how to handle my situation.  And thanks, man. It honestly doesn’t feel like that anymore. I can’t really explain why. My mind is starting to give up, and I’m actively combatting that. Life has been WAY WAY WAY worse than it is now. Honestly, aside from the loneliness and abandonment, this is the best my life has been, so I’m very thankful.  I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through such rough times, and I’m very glad you’re in a better place now. ❤️ I wish you only the best.  And thank you for telling me that. I really have met cool people, but they’re just not here right now. I just think that sometimes, people don’t fully understand how much they are hurting me. That’s why I’m gonna talk to my dance teacher. He knows some of my situation, but I don’t think he quite knows how important he is to me. I mean, we say I love you to each other like family, but I don’t think he has put 2 and 2 together and realized that he is one of very few adult role models I have had in my life that have stayed consistent. I promise you that man would do anything for me. He has done a lot already. He is not just a dance teacher. I’m not trash talking him here at all. Sometimes, the people we love are flawed, and that’s ok.  And yeah, people at university are not the cool ones. Aside from that one person who I have started to bond with (and potentially her friend as well), people don’t treat me like I’d wished they did. It’s weird because I’m a “social butterfly”(the exact words of the boy from this summer lol), so it’s not like I’m not constantly introducing myself to people. It’s just that very few of them are respectful to me.  Tomorrow, I will be going to my school’s vegan clubs For the first time so hopefully I’ll make some friends there! It’s difficult to make friends when you’re this depressed but I will make sure to meditate before I go if I’m feeling down. I’ll go with a positive attitude, an open mind, and no expectations.  Currently im injured so I can’t dance but I’ll hopefully be dancing again next semester! That’s probably another reason why I’m depressed. Back home, I would forget about everything while I was dancing and now that I don’t have that right now, having escape is a bit trickier.  There’s counseling, but unfortunately my school only allows 10 sessions over 4 years. I recently found out that news and honestly, it’s really heartbreaking because my school misled me and made me think I would have consistent counseling. I was desperately looking forward for that, as I did not have access to counseling at home because of my family.   But I’m gonna make use of the therapy I have and hopefully get diagnosed with the disorder I suspect I have. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next, but at least I hav SOME therapy available. Aside from that, I don’t really know how much support is available at my school. I would have to check.  Thank you for the kind words.  *Hugs*",0.9959,positive,trusting
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,listener_1,4,"I am glad you are feeling at least a little better. For more therapy, check into getting health insurance through www.healthcare.gov. Some plans can be pretty cheap because part of how much you pay is based on your income and if you don't have much or any that could work out. Look at the deductibles though, which are how much you have to pay before the insurance pays for stuff. It can be anything from $0 to a few thousand,   The deadline for getting insurance that starts on Jan 1 is Dec 15, so check it out ",0.818,positive,grateful
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,speaker,5,"At this point, I’m covered by my family as I am 18. Are you saying I should switch over to get my own now? ",0.0,neutral,content
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,listener_1,6,"No, I was just saying that you should get some kind of coverage which would help you afford therapy visits beyond the ones given by your school if you wanted them. I didn't know you had coverage through your family. I forgot about that. ",0.4019,positive,neutral
47,MentalHealthSupport,Lonely at University,speaker,7,Gotcha. Thank you for all the help! It is thoroughly appreciated. I had a better day today. ,0.8997,positive,grateful
48,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,speaker,1,"I posted this on the mental health sub but no one replied, hopefully someone can help me out.  (I don't have any psychiatrists or anything of sorts near me, my parents don't believe in mental illness, and I don't have any friends who can help. I'm just a 14-year-old who can't really do anything)  english isn't my mother tongue.  I have never been raped or molested in my life. I think I am being constantly abused by my mother, I'm like a black sheep to her, mainly because I have different opinions from what I'm taught, and my interests aren't that common where I live. (example, I like philosophy and psychology, lots of people do have a wrong idea about them and I'm always berated whenever I talk about such stuff. also, I am bisexual so my mother labels me as abnormal and keeps on lecturing me about how I am a disgrace and stuff like that)  About 2 years ago, I've come to loath myself and became depressed. my personality, interests, body figure and gender, I hated everything. it wasn't really a big deal though, I lived through it normally. A couple of months ago, I got bullied and became suicidal. I was so close to committing suicide but was scared and didn't do so. Things got weird after that.  1. I started doubting myself a lot, someone would say, ""you look dead"" and it took time to convince myself I'm not dead. I'd be debating a topic and even though the other person would say illogical incoherent stuff, it would get to me and I would doubt myself and believe the other person, even though I'm sure they're wrong. So say if a random passerby called me an idiot, even though I know he doesn't really mean it, I would struggle to not believe him. I also have a problem processing metaphors, I know they're just comparisons, but then I doubt my intuition and take them literally.  2. If I read a fictional story, I feel stuck in it,, I dunno it's like I'm trapped where the story takes place and can't get out, I don't see or hear  anything abnormal, but my mind gets disconnected from reality, I believe I'm in the story.   3. I started getting afraid of any color other than black. Each color invokes certain feelings in me. I also get really frustrated if there's a color that doesn't go well with others. This hasn't happened before.  4. I feel intoxicated at random times (I've never consumed alcohol); I'd be overthinking and suddenly I'd stop, my mind would feel hazy, I'd think about extremely bizzare stuff (trying to kill myself for fun, or try to turn myself into a vampire, for example) and start laughing or vigorously bite my nails.  5. Whenever I get triggered, I would get severely depressed and then reach a point where I start feeling happy all of a sudden, this feeling then stays for 2 or 3 days.  6. I sometimes suddenly forget who and where I am or forget some memories of my life.  7. I overthink a lot, I can't control it or make it stop. (I don't hear voices though)  Can anyone tell me what this might be? Is it a mental illness or am I just overreacting? and what should I do?  Thanks. ",-0.9972,negative,afraid
48,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,2,Anything is possible.  You are only 14 and have access to tons of information that is difficult for you to process with your life experience and coping skills.  You are also entering a physically transformative time and your body is making a transition to becoming an adult.  I would not assume there is anything wrong with you.  If you can see a regular doctor you can discuss these experiences with him/her to get some perspective.,-0.6808,negative,trusting
48,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,speaker,3,"I can't see a doctor, and if I did, there are stuff I can't really explain without getting into huge trouble with my parents. For one, I'm an atheist, they're religious, changing my beliefs did affect me a lot, but I can't tell them that. ",-0.325,negative,trusting
48,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,speaker,4,"It's not like that, I can't say anything otherwise I'll get executed lol, I live in an islamic country , and their sense of judgement's screwed up  ",-0.3632,negative,neutral
49,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone know of a support group for gay muslims in Ottawa ON,speaker,1,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
49,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone know of a support group for gay muslims in Ottawa ON,listener_1,2,Or just don't be part of a religion that shuns you for being gay..  Problem= solved   ,-0.1531,negative,angry
49,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone know of a support group for gay muslims in Ottawa ON,listener_2,3,User has been banned for this post but it will not be removed.,-0.25,negative,annoyed
50,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know what I have,speaker,1,I think I'm being diagnosed wrong.i have been diagnosed with adhd and depression and currently autism but i dont think it's that. I'm not sure what I actually have. All i know is that i act impulsive on my feelings without understanding what is good or wrong. I'm heavly influenced by the things I read or watch. Images are vivid in my head and can lead me self harm. I have trouble feeling attached to someone or feel too attached but don't find it difficult to let go. And sometimes I feel like i have no control over my emotions or what I say. I dont know if the thoughts that are in my head are from me or just intustive. I ended friendship of 7 years over a feeling and i still dont know what the hell im feeling. I'm So scared and confused. I dont know of im just convincing myself about anything. I absorb everything. But I do get tense when a lot of people talk at once or theres too much simulation. That I know I can feel that with my body.,-0.9569,negative,afraid
50,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know what I have,listener_1,2,"Hey OP, just to get this out of the way, no one can diagnose you online.  That said, I would ask you what diagnosis you have that you think is wrong, because just in general what you are describing does indeed sound like depression.   May I ask how old you are?  If you are a teenager, a lot of what you are describing are typical issues for teenagers which could be exacerbated by depression.   What symptoms do you have do you think don't fit with your current diagnoses?",-0.913,negative,questioning
50,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know what I have,speaker,3,I dont need to be dianosed online. I just need to know if my symptoms fit something I haven't considered and then I can get a proper diagnoses from there. I have already been diagnosed for depression and adhd but im getting diagnosed for autism tomorrow cause my symptoms dont line up with depression. I absorb emotions like a sponge and manulpulate myself into doing things out of impulse. I'm not sure if that's autism?? I been researching and it doesnt fit. I'm 18,-0.8346,negative,apprehensive
50,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know what I have,listener_1,4,"It's really important to understand that not all of your behaviors and emotions that are problematic are always diagnostic symptoms of a mental illness.  I can't say one way or another what you do or do not have but nothing you are describing are specific symptoms of any disorders you have not listed.   >I absorb emotions like a sponge and manulpulate myself into doing things out of impulse.  I'm not sure what that means.  You mean you pick up on other people's emotions?  That's empathy.  And impuslive decisions are decisions that aren't thought through, so if you are taking the time to talk yourself into them, they may be poor decisions but they are not impulsive.   Again these sound like they are personality traits, not necessarily symptoms of mental illness. ",-0.7092,negative,apprehensive
51,MentalHealthSupport,Why did my mind immediately think that my friend was going to try to rape or kill me when I went to his house?,speaker,1,"To elaborate, when we were driving to his house I had a very vivid image of him trying to kill or rape me, then when I went into his house he had to go back out to his car and I was scared enough that I didn’t put my back to the front door. ",-0.9231,negative,terrified
51,MentalHealthSupport,Why did my mind immediately think that my friend was going to try to rape or kill me when I went to his house?,listener_1,2,Without any more information than what has been given I would say that it's pretty normal for people to have intrusive thoughts and unrealistic fears. That's just a normal part of human existence.    Probably all the news about sexual assault has you thinking about it.,-0.5267,negative,apprehensive
51,MentalHealthSupport,Why did my mind immediately think that my friend was going to try to rape or kill me when I went to his house?,speaker,3,"Idk it contributes a lot to my anxiety, I don’t like people or social situations because I struggle with reading emotion and social cues. ",-0.2263,negative,neutral
51,MentalHealthSupport,Why did my mind immediately think that my friend was going to try to rape or kill me when I went to his house?,listener_2,4,"For me, I have some autism (asperger's specifically) and PTSD from an event I don't have much conscious memory of do to disassociating that can put that type of stuff in my head. Ill why that specific fear may have popped up for you, but autism spectrum disorder makes understanding emotions and social cues extremely difficult and can have anxiety and depression along side it. Only knowing what you've shared, I don't want to say much on this and risk putting untrue things in you're head or ""words in your mouth"" so to speak, but if you don't already know why you may have trouble with social situations do to trouble reading emotions and social cues, it might be worth reading about other signs and symptoms of aspergers and autism (there are a few key differences in early childhood development between aspergers and other spots on the spectrum). Most people are diagnosed as toddlers, but some aren't until much later in life as well (I was 13 for example). Idk about the rest of this, but I hope this helps find a starting point. Though, if you already know more about you're struggle socially, I apologize for the unintentional spam comment... Good luck and I wish you the best. 💚",0.8415,positive,trusting
52,MentalHealthSupport,Advice/Question/Emotional Rant,speaker,1,"I don't want to whine or sound like a horrible person, but I'm afraid of ""getting better"" from my mental illnesses and disorders. I have had many different mental disorders my entire life....depression, anxiety, aspergers, ADHD and ODD, and possibly Bipolar Disorder (currently have doctors on the fence about that one). At age 6 I had an event happen that left me PTSD, disassociation, and mild self-esteem issues became self-loathing and disgust (many of these things solidified by a few relatives, though I doubt they meant too much harm - I still cut contact with those few at this point). I've been on medications for depression and mood disorders for most of my life...before that I was on ADHD medications that induced SERVIER depressive episode (all under the age of 10). I am 26 now and currently between psych doctors after my last one decided to walk out on our scheduled appointments, marking me as the ""no-show""...if I did see him, my concerns were brushed of and ignored (my meds sucked and he didn't seem to give a shit, telling me he doesn't think adjusting them is a good idea while cutting me off when I'd try to explain why I needed change). My mom found a doctor somewhat near me that does different brain scans to assist in diagnosis and treatment. Having never known life without some form of mental illness and autism, I'm actually afraid that this may work extremely well. I've grown up with these disorders. I've learned how to approach life with these disorders.   What if I'm all but ""cured""?(I am aware mental illness is incurable. I do not know how else to describe this part of my fears) What is it like to not always feel some degree of depression or anger? A lot of my actual interests and life's dreams stem from having depression....what happens if I don't feel that more often than feeling it? Is it weird to be afraid of being happy? Don't get me wrong, I do need help....I can't usually get put of bed currently...but why is being stable rather than happy wrong? I've been told stable is a ""good starting point before reaching for happiness"" but why can't stable just be my only treatment goal? Honestly, sometimes having symptoms relieved can make me feel so guilty when I realize I don't feel anxiety (So far, meds only helped that for me. I'll talk about why I'm off meds for that later on this post - I got a tad off track and already wrote about that, then came back to this). Most, if not all, of my friends have a lot of similar mental illnesses as I do and I don't know how to help them wothout feeling as they usually are too. Many of my friends with depression and anxiety have always had the symptoms and have also been in treatment since childhood. For us, something as simple as a bit of a joking comment like ""you can't kill yourself before me!"" OR ""we are so fucked up. Lol!"" Can actually keep us going and bring us back to reality a bit....really bad days/suicidal ideation is all just a normal thing for us. We just need to be reminded to ""ride it out"" because it's going to happen, whether you want it to or not, and we know how they feel and have been in that same place many many times before and will be there again later. We're sick. Shit happens when you're sick. (I find it difficult to relate to some of my friends who are only now getting symptoms of mental illness in their 20s. It's just so new for them and society shames mental troubles so much that just knowing they have a mental illness will actually set off the symptoms sometimes. I'm 90% sure that's fairly typical for that...i just never felt like that, so I have 0 comprehension of it).  Anyway, this brain scan based treatment is ""experimental"" in the USA and therefore 100% payed out of pocket....health insurance is total BS sometimes... the cost is about $5k+ and I'd probably have to take out a personal loan or something to do it....just trying it to see how it goes is not really an option with this one. Should I look into it. Maybe see if I can talk with him about it and my feelings before committing?  PAST TREATMENT SUMMARY AND WHY IM OFF MEDS RN: Any meds I've been on merely locked up my depression and held its feelings inside of me, blocking my ability to let it out, leaving me miserable and even less emotionally aware than without (the aspergers naturally does this sometimes without locking my emotions up). My mother seems to think I felt ""relief"" with my functionally being up....not matter what I say, she assumes I feel worse off meds than on my old meds. She also has depression and anxiety and finds relief in being able to do daily tasks. On the rare days I can be productive, I am proud of myself for that, but I still hurt inside....at least i can cry when I need to now or have a genuine smile or true emotional reaction and feeling now. I can feel things now. Feeling things is a relief at this point, even if it's ussually negative feelings. I've had meds actually do some good with my anxiety. I do feel relief from that with meds, but they end up not working as well within mere weeks of starting and feeling good while adgitating my depression, so I stop them (I've gotten them in impatient and ran into issues seeing/contacting the outpatient survises that have been set up for me upon release from the hospital, so I can't seem to get a doc to switch the med and the depression can get so bad on them that I'm safer, truly safer, completely off meds rather than contuing what I have).  ",-0.9968,negative,afraid
52,MentalHealthSupport,Advice/Question/Emotional Rant,listener_1,2,"Let's get something out of the way first.   >I am aware mental illness is incurable  This is demonstrably false. With proper treatment it is possible to recover fully from many mental illnesses.  > but why can't stable just be my only treatment goal?  It should be.  Whoever is telling you that ""happiness"" is your treatment goal is not a good clinician.  >For us, something as simple as a bit of a joking comment like ""you can't kill yourself before me!"" OR ""we are so fucked up. Lol!"" Can actually keep us going and bring us back to reality a bit....really bad days/suicidal ideation is all just a normal thing for us.  You have made mental illness your identity, and as with any other large part of your identity, you fear losing it.  I think the first step for you is realizing that you are not your disorders.  So I notice in your past treatment summary, all you do is talk about medications.  The problems you are describing are best treated with therapy and other such interventions. What kinds of cognitive and behavioral practices have you implemented to try and improve your situation?  I would urge you to remember that since you have experienced mental illness all your life, that also means you are accustomed to those maladaptive ways of thinking, and a pill probably won't be able to change your entire mode of being.    Your fear of recovering is actually normal and common. Google search information about the ""sick role"" and how oftentimes the longer someone is unwell, the more comfortable they get with being taken care of and having few if any responsibilities and as such they lose interest in the value of purpose.  > On the rare days I can be productive, I am proud of myself for that, but I still hurt inside  Yes.  It does.  Even for people who are well it's not fun or pleasant to do things we don't want to do.  It seems like you are waiting for some day when all of a sudden you will be super happy and want to work.  That day will not come.  You have to practice doing things you don't want to do *every day*.  It is the repetition and breaking of old habits that will help you find intrinsic pleasure in responsibility.  Personally I would not encourage you to try a radical untested treatment until you put some serious effort into making cognitive and behavioral changes and see how that goes. ",0.9266,positive,angry
52,MentalHealthSupport,Advice/Question/Emotional Rant,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply. I am glad to know that this fear of recovery is not abnormal. I did forget to mention the therapies I've done, didn't I? I have done ""talk it out"" style therapy from age 10 and it was (mostly) counterproductive for me...same with many of my DMH provided programs. I was mostly yelled at for not always knowing a cause to my emotions, sometimes they reprimanded me for have symptoms at all. I have had a couple of therapists that I clicked with but they would end up getting new jobs and having to leave (I was happy for them but sad for me. But that's life.) or we could no longer afford the copays for the therapists and I would have to go else where. I've actually now been more able to see what sets off my symptoms and what coping skills work for me (usually music and walks help me). Most of my workers would not really listen to me if it wasn't things they wanted me to do or feel. Most of my issue with services was all while I was still a minor, so I had no legal say in changing them. My parents, the ones with that legal say, were just as bad at listening to what I actually felt I was capable of trying on my own and what I truly felt I needed help with. My mother is still like that to the point I really should cut her out. Her MS has fucked up her brain so much now on top of her depression and anxiety that we always fight. Despite treatment frustrations in the past, she has always been my rock....now her MS meds were taken away from her for a few months a short time back and her mental symptoms skyrocketed quickly - many of them are anger and losing her understanding of social cues (insurance dropped it and it took months to get the prior authorisation to go through). [My father dies when I was 20, making my treatment easier and finding self-value easier. He was a good man, not really a great father thanks to his parents being shit to him growing up.] Anyway, I say some of that because my mother is the one assuming I am on the correct meds because I do not outwardly appear symptomatic even though I'm am telling her they do not work properly  - what I meant by the last thing from my post you specifically commented on dealing with functionality, sorry if I worked it poorly (assumption correct therapy as well...though for now meds are the bigger concern. I want to try alternative therapies like ""expressive arts therapy"" and some memory recovery type therapies).  I don't understand what you mean when you say ""mental illness is not incurable""? I agree that treatment can be EXTREMELY effective, however a cure generally means the treatment is only needed on a temporary amount of time in order to completely destroy it from the body. If it was something like a growth on the brain that could be removed causing symptoms, I understand saying ""curable""....sorry, mostly not understanding do to the meaning of the term ""cure""...  I am glad to hear that doctors should not push ""happy"" versus ""stable"" on me. I've only had one doctor not get angry at me for my own needs and feelings that I felt 100% comfortable with. She was the only one to agree with my feelings on that. Unfortunately she only does impatient treatment currently (I asked before I was released back in May of this year).   I have,  unfortunately, lived with thinking of mental illness as a part of my identity. It's not healthy to be that way, thus me asking if I should look at this new treatment at all. I actually didn't think it was ""typical"" to fear really helpful treament. From what I know of this specific treatment course, it isn't ""radical"" per say, it mostly adds that extra neurological view with the scans to traditional treatment plans. It seems to be accepted that the brain will react differently to different things, generally in a consistent way for different disorders from patient to patient, and that can be made visible in MRIs and CAT scans. He is also trying to rule out any growths that many doctors don't consider looking for without any physical symptoms such as vomiting, dizziness, seizures, etc.   Actually. I think I will call him and at least inquire. You actually helped me out a bit, though not really in the exact way you suggested. Getting all of this out in writing helped organize my thoughts on this subject a bit better. Talking to a person rather than a notebook (I've tried journaling to get thoughts out b4 lol) tends to ground me a bit with my scattered and fear-driven thoughts. Thank you. ^_^ Sorry if some of this response sounds angrier than I may have intended btw. It wasn't meant to sound angry at all. I have more trouble with social cues and reading emotional intent in text form the verbal. Asperger's makes it hard enough in person sometimes lol. (Actually, the autism spectrum piece of my symptoms makes me quite curious to see a scan of my brain since there is a known neurological component to how I think anyway.) ^_^ Thanks again! I appreciate your reply and thoughts on this. ^_^ ",0.9035,positive,grateful
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,speaker,1,My mental health is ruining my life slowly but surely and i want to seek help but dont know where to start and i dont want to tell my family because they already worry about me. But im almost positive i have either bi polar disorder or some sort of autism. I want to just finally know but dont know where or how. I live in florida. ,0.6734,positive,apprehensive
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,listener_1,2,"Hi OP, are you an adult or an adolescent?  Do you have health insurance?  What is your income?",0.0,neutral,questioning
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,speaker,3,"Adult, and I do not have health insurance as I barely make enough to live on each month at around about 23k a year",0.0,neutral,ashamed
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,listener_1,4,Are you on Medicaid?  What are your symptoms?,0.0,neutral,questioning
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,speaker,5,First i want to say thank you so very much for replying. Secondly i do not have medicaid. But i wil be contacting NAMI although im unsure as to what that is . ,-0.1531,negative,neutral
53,MentalHealthSupport,How do i seek help,listener_1,6,It's the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  They have a lot of resources and  hopefully they will be able to help.,0.4019,positive,hopeful
54,MentalHealthSupport,I Need Help,speaker,1,"I've posted in this subreddit a few times before, so this is a bit of an update/advice post because I really... don't know what to do.   Long story short, I was living in another state with a friend (that has BPD) that I had romantic feelings for. I was going to school down there, but because of some financial fallout I had to drop out. It depressed me, and then on top of that I had some family that got really bad health problems, so I made the decision to come home for a while to help deal with those. While I'm down here, I thought I could attend school and get some stuff done regarding that and my own mental health.   My friend... has been constantly texting me, and if I don't answer, she gets really upset with me. I didn't answer for two minutes, and she started questioning me about where I was, what I was doing, who I was with.... after I had already told her I was laying in bed watching TV. After that, my Mom came in to talk to me for a second, and after five minutes of that, the same thing happened. I know it's because she has really bad abandonment issues and I don't blame her for them (especially since I've been with her fairly constantly for the past two years), but.... it's starting to wear on me, I'm not gonna lie. On top of that, she's trying to convince me to come back to school down there immediately, something I'm not sure I'm comfortable with when there's so much going on with my family at the moment that I need to be here for (I did however tell her I would look into it as a possibility). And I can't do that 500 miles away. I'm already skyping with this friend every night, like I promised, to make her feel better, and I don't mind texting her through the day (I really enjoy that, actually), but the constant asking where I am/what I'm doing/who I'm with is making me a bit... resentful? I'm trying to figure out what I want and what's best for me (even though I feel like I already know that what's best is me staying here for a while), but she's making it really hard just to /think/. Right now I'm not doing well mentally either, I'm suicidal, and my anxiety meds are barely controlling my emotions at this point. I need to have a break from all the turmoil, or I feel like I'm going to explode in a very unhealthy way. I know none of her emotions or reactions are her fault, but... I just don't know what to do. It doesn't help that she's in an emotional tailspin not having me there with her (I'm one of her only friends), and she is literally getting physically sick over not having me, and I'm worried to death about her so I want to make sure she feels supported too... but what about me? I don't sleep or eat anymore because of the situation with my family, and feeling like I'm doing this to her only makes it worse... I just want to feel supported. Is that wrong? ",-0.9263,negative,sentimental
54,MentalHealthSupport,I Need Help,listener_1,2,I recall reading your other posts.  This person is abusing you.  You need to block her from EVERYTHING and don't look back.  It's really important that you do this for your own mental health so go ahead and do it and update us once it's done!  You owe her NOTHING. ,-0.6248,negative,trusting
54,MentalHealthSupport,I Need Help,speaker,3,Can I ask why you feel she is abusing me? I like to hear people's reasonings.... ,-0.128,negative,apprehensive
55,MentalHealthSupport,Post-graduate Depression,speaker,1,"I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but any recent college grads feeling this way? I don't know how to explain my feelings, I just feel so broken all the time and it sucks because I don't have easy access to help anymore like I did when I was on campus. Job rejections aren't helping either. No one really talks about it but I'm definitely feeling it and I'm tracing it all the way back to about a week after graduation.  Anyone want to start a support group?",-0.2469,negative,sentimental
55,MentalHealthSupport,Post-graduate Depression,listener_1,2,"I completely understand what you mean. It’s hard just start a career, and after being in school for most of my life; it feels weird to not have that anymore, like a security blanket. Without classes to focus on, it’s hard to find a purpose or even motivate myself to do simple tasks. In school there was always someone to talk to about what you wanted to do next and to give you the help to achieve that, it’s like the training wheels have finally been removed, you just need to keep peddling.",0.8481,positive,agreeing
55,MentalHealthSupport,Post-graduate Depression,speaker,3,Yes! This is exactly what I feel! It's so difficult to even find motivation to do simple tasks like leave the house or get out of bed. I'm trying to force myself but all that ends up happening is that my energy drains like crazy throughout the day. Are you going through this too? Maybe we can help each other 🙂,0.9113,positive,agreeing
56,MentalHealthSupport,College depression,speaker,1,"Im a freshman in college, moved a few hours away from home, I'm starting to do terrible in school, I think i developed depression and anxiety? I feel sad all the time, eating less and can't even concentrate anymore. I don't have any friends, I don't talk to anyone, I tried to ask my parents of moving back to go to community college but they brush off the doubt of depression. I just have going to class knowing I just can't learn, I just feel like giving up. ",-0.86,negative,lonely
56,MentalHealthSupport,College depression,listener_1,2,"Hey. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, that sucks. I know school is time consuming and hard (I'm going through it too and it often a nightmare) but are you taking time for your self care? Are they any clubs that you can attend to find people with similar interests?  If your school offers free counselling I'd recommend going. That's where I started when I was going through a depressive episode.   I hope you feel better soon!  ",0.9618,positive,sympathizing
56,MentalHealthSupport,College depression,speaker,3,"I used to play video games and make music that kept me calm and took away my stress but I'm constantly stuck on work or know that if I'm not studying that hour I'm doing something I like , it could result in me passing or failing. ",-0.5023,negative,apprehensive
56,MentalHealthSupport,College depression,listener_1,4,How do you work? I found doing 25min sprints of work without distractions (look up Pomodoro method) and then a 5-10 min break of not working helps me get things done. But I feel you.   It's kinda funny but scheduling time in to do the things you love even when you're busy ends up making you happier in the long run and then you function better! It's kind of hard cause you feel like you should be doing something else but it helps I swear. Your mental health is important!    ,0.9789,positive,neutral
57,MentalHealthSupport,Wearing Thin,speaker,1,"I've posted in this thread numerous times before now, but I honestly feel like I am at my breaking point with my friend (https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthSupport/comments/7e51dj/i_need_help/ post for background story) that has Borderline Personality Disorder. More or less, I want to go back and live with her because I do really love her, and I'm concerned about her health. If I went back, it wouldn't be a big deal as I can get flight benefits through my Dad (he works for an airline), so I could come home if something happened, but right now, amid all this stress, she's becoming really nasty. She either keeps calling me horrible names, or she slams me constantly with the fact that I'm not moving fast enough to figure out a way to get back to her. Last night, she slammed me with things like wishing she'd never met me because I caused her too much pain, and that she didn't trust me or have faith in me because I can't be consistent. I just found out my grandparents are terminally ill, and my mother might possibly have brain cancer (the reasons I came home in the first place), so I'm not exactly on an even keel at the moment. I'm still trying to process things, but the more she slams me, the harder it is to process. I'm at a point where I really need the support of my friend, and the rest of my family, and I just don't feel like I'm getting it.  When we were skyping last night, she hung up on me and then proceeded to do all the things I listed above, and as a result, my own anxiety and depression reared up, and I blacked out. When I woke up, I had self-harmed. Again. When I didn't answer after a long while, she started calling me, and once I woke up from the blackout, I contemplated even answering I was so hurt and miserable.   I love her, but my mind is failing, and so is my heart. I don't know what to do. I want to go back to her, but the more she pushes me, the more I just want to shut the laptop or the phone off and just not answer.  ",-0.8664,negative,apprehensive
57,MentalHealthSupport,Wearing Thin,listener_1,2,"I have seen you post this on a few subs throughout the last day or two.  Everybody is telling you to go no contact with this person, someone else in this sub even offered to support you after you do so.  Instead you just repost the same thing over and over despite consistently receiving the same advice.   Seriously take reddit's advice or leave.",-0.1027,negative,angry
57,MentalHealthSupport,Wearing Thin,speaker,3,"While I'm glad you decided to chime in, no one asked for your rude commentary either.   I will seek and ask support as I see fit. Have a nice day. ",0.7003,positive,wishing
58,MentalHealthSupport,Where do I go from here?,speaker,1,"Honestly, this is my first time really using reddit. I've been on the website countless of times but I never really bothered to make an account until now. I'm actually kind of anxious, to tell the truth. I just feel so lost and I don't know where to go or who to turn to anymore.   I guess I should start by saying that I have bipolar disorder. I was recently diagnosed with it around a year or so ago. I've always known that something was wrong with me, and I suspected that was it, but I never got an actual diagnosis until sometime last year.   Things have always been kind of hard, but as of late, it genuinely feels like they've gotten worse. I didn't have insurance for over a year, so I've been off my medications for some time now, and that also plays a huge role in how I am feeling. I am now currently on insurance and have been trying to get back on them, but I've been having trouble trying to figure out how to go about doing that.   I recently moved to a completely new place, about two thousand miles or so from my family and just about everyone I know, and I'm not entirely too familiar with the area so I'm unsure of where to go and what agencies could possibly help me.  I don't know what to do anymore. I'm always sad, I isolate myself from the people who care about me, and I've started self harming again. I know that getting professional help is the best option for me, and I have made the necessary steps in that direction, but I'm scared. I feel as though even if I make the positive changes I need to make in order to better myself and my life, that it'll all be pointless, and that I won't feel better at all.   I know that these feelings are irrational, and that things will be okay eventually, but I'm starting to believe that less and less as time goes on. I don't know what to do, really. I feel like there's no hope left for me. I feel like I've already pushed everyone away and that I should just end it now. Can anyone else relate to how I am feeling? Am I really as alone as I feel?",-0.6922,negative,apprehensive
58,MentalHealthSupport,Where do I go from here?,listener_1,2,"I totally get what you’re feeling. I’ve been diagnosed with severe recurring depression, and 40 mg of daily Prozac do not help much. I feel so desperately unhealthy. I cry a lot, I also isolate myself. I blame myself all the time for things I have no control over (like my grown children). I feel that there’s no hope for anything getting better. I unfortunately won’t kill myself because both my parents did and I don’t want to put that on my children. Sometimes I think I may just have an “accident.” But, all I want to do is sleep, as that makes me forget the craziness around me. I have lost any desire to take care of my plants, do the crafts I used to do, I have lost complete interest in just about everything. I don’t like Christmas because it is associated with some painful stuff so here we go December.  I used to be so alive and happy, and I cannot grab into anything that makes me happy. I don’t have anybody to live for, except for my beautiful service dog, which forces me to go out four times a day and that is positive.  Watching the news adds to my sadness. I am so disgusted about the kind of people that are currently in power. Of course, as a pretty woman, I’ve had my share of harassment. However, I was violated by my stepfather when I was a child and I’ve never been able to get over that. I’ve never trusted a man for good reasons because I mostly chose jerks.  So I’m going to stop here. Thanks for reading this. ",0.4423,positive,sad
58,MentalHealthSupport,Where do I go from here?,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for sharing with me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's feeling this way. I've felt so alienated as of late so it's nice knowing that I'm not alone. I'm sorry that you've been going through all that, though. I can relate to you more than you can even imagine so I know how hard it is. And, I truly hope things start to get better for you. I'm not sure if this means much, but I'm proud of you for making it as far as you have. ",0.9309,positive,sympathizing
58,MentalHealthSupport,Where do I go from here?,speaker,4,"I'm really glad that I was able to help you in some way, honestly. That makes me really happy that I was able to help in someway, even if it was only a little bit. I just recently got back on my medications and have been making the necessary steps to get better. I've been feeling a lot more positive than I have in months, and it's such a liberating experience, because I felt so trapped for so long. Thank you for all your kind words, it means a lot to me. ",0.9744,positive,grateful
59,MentalHealthSupport,How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? (Serious Only Please),speaker,1,"I have recently gone through few changes in my life, but if asked, I would have said I am doing just fine.   I got into a new relationship, I started a new job, and my brother just got out of prison and is living with my boyfriend and I, and with the stress of all of it, I find myself crying a lot. Not Boo hoo alligator tears, just weeping, a lot. All the time.   Something makes me frusturated, I cry. Get upset easily. Too easily. I am a tender heart and always have been, but at this point, insignificant things are affecting me in a major way.   I almost feel like the stereotypical pregnancy hormones, but I am not pregnant.   I don't feel sad, I just get overwhelmed and cry. Otherwise, I am a happy person.   Does this sound like a serious issue, or just a phase that will hopefully pass soon?   ",-0.3041,negative,sad
59,MentalHealthSupport,How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? (Serious Only Please),listener_1,2,"You should seek help as soon as you start to ask if you should.  It's like finding a lump in a breast self-exam. It's very likely to not be major and can be handled easily - waiting until it announces that it's very much not a minor thing puts you that much farther behind.   Or, from another perspective, I saw a great video called [*Fuck You, Pay Me*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h3RJhoqgK8) from Mike Monteiro about ensuring that, as a creative professional, you don't get screwed out of money. He says people ask him all the time ""When should I get a lawyer?"" — his answer to that is ""You need a lawyer as soon as you decide you're a creative professional""  So... it helps to have a therapist on tap just regardless.",0.9601,positive,apprehensive
59,MentalHealthSupport,How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? (Serious Only Please),speaker,3,Especially when I start to feel like I am in need of fixing. ,0.3612,positive,agreeing
59,MentalHealthSupport,How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? (Serious Only Please),listener_1,4,"Hey, no time like the present. GIive somebody a call today, get the ball rolling.  It's amazing how much better just that first step will make you feel. It's important to go through with the rest, but that very first step is the hardest and most motivating.",0.8092,positive,hopeful
59,MentalHealthSupport,How do you know when it is time to seek professional help? (Serious Only Please),speaker,5,"I've had problems with depression when I a teen, but my symptoms were different.  A lot of anger, angst, and irritability, whereas this time, it's none of those things, just crying and sadness, and I don't feel like it was the same mindset.   Then again, brains react to different things in different ways. It doesn't need anger at a defense mechanism this time.   ",-0.9536,negative,sad
60,MentalHealthSupport,A vent and some advice needed,speaker,1,"Quick backstory, I have p bad ocd with security and safety being the main obsessions, on 80g fluoxetine for it for a while now and have seen various therapists for group cbt and single sessions. Bipolar, depression & anxiety disorders run/have been in both sides of my family.  Lately I’ve quit a job (may be going back for much less hours) cause I can not control my mood on top of hating the job. My mind is either racing thinking about 1000 things at once, trying to focus on all of them at once, or I’m super focused on something neglecting absolutely everything else, or I’m extremely low and couldn’t give a crap about anything.  If I’m down (very low, suicidal sometimes) and my mind is racing (which has happened many times over the years) I find self harming to be a great escape from the chaos, although it’s only temporary and I instantly regret it. I’m clean from bad harming 1.5 years now but a few weeks ago I very superficially attempted it as a way to calm down and I’m punching hard surfaces more often again.  I’ve been feeling super good the last few days, bey productive and excited about life, I still am but the ‘good’ feeling is more like a fire in my mind, I’m not low just really desperate to do loads of productive things at once. I have a so I love, but when I’m like this sometimes my sex drive goes awol and I desperately need to watch porn to satiate it for they day/few hours. Part of me is questioning monogamy and wants an open relationship when I’m like this but honestly I know I don’t and it terrifies me and makes me feel awful.  Right now mind is on FIRE I want to work out and also fuck and watch porn and plan my life and I can’t focus on one thing I feel good but also completely out of control I’m definitely not feeling bad or down. Idk it’s like I’m hyper sexual which makes me feel bad and I want to GO GO GO, I need to work out and get super fit again, go and enjoy life have fun and get out of this rut I’m in.  It’s like I can’t control my mind and moods, especially when I’m like this or super low. I just needed to vent and know if anyone else has been through similar, I have diagnosed ocd but I’m planning on seeing a doctor about all this too cause it’s definitely not my ocd and it makes me ocd worse.",0.9878,positive,afraid
60,MentalHealthSupport,A vent and some advice needed,listener_1,2,"I’m no expert, just someone with some experience. I’m sure you are aware of this, but it definitely sounds like you’re manic.   It’s just as important to get help ASAP when you’re manic as it is when you’re depressed. People tend to make very poor choices (cheating on SO, quitting jobs, blowing money, etc) when they are manic that end up fueling their depression when the mania is over.   You should definitely see your doctor. ",-0.7379,negative,agreeing
60,MentalHealthSupport,A vent and some advice needed,speaker,3,Thanks for your reply. Been to see my local doctor and he’s going to try and get me to see a psychiatrist in the next week or so.,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,speaker,1,"My mental health is pretty terrible recently, but it's never been great to begin with. I lost a friend, moved to a new city and started at a new school. I think I should be excited to begin a new chapter of my life journey but I'm not. I'm just sad. I've been, for all my adult life, a functional depressed person the way some people are functional alcoholics; maybe even highly functional since I graduated college and all kinds of interesting things but... lately I haven't been very functional. It's 2am and I'm still awake, I can't remember to eat, I can't do any work not even rn when finals is almost upon me... I don't know what to do anymore, to make it better or to make myself functional again. Advice?",0.7461,positive,sad
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,listener_1,2,"Have you tried talking to a therapist? Is that something that you would even consider? I don't think anything anyone can say to you would honestly help except except for some kind of medication along with talking to someone. I do hope the best for you, and know that things are only temporary. There will always be tomorrow, and as bad as you may feel right now, you will have better days.",0.9111,positive,consoling
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,speaker,3,"I guess my biggest problem is that rn I don't have the resources to seek therapy/psychiatric help, and I'm at a loss on what can be done on my own ",-0.3182,negative,lonely
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,speaker,4,Good to know there is hope ,0.7003,positive,hopeful
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,listener_1,5,"I can understand, and  I am sorry about that. Hopefully talking in here can take care of some of the issues you are dealing with. I'm not a therapist, but I can listen and respond ",0.4215,positive,sympathizing
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,speaker,6,That's really nice of you,0.4754,positive,acknowledging
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,listener_1,7,"I have my moments lol. I believe the world has lost its ability to love. We are so caught up in our own lives, and problems that we stip taking the time to listen.",0.6486,positive,sad
61,MentalHealthSupport,I am very sad,speaker,8,I agree,0.3612,positive,agreeing
62,MentalHealthSupport,I think i'm having a mental breakdown,speaker,1,"I've always been depressed since I was around 11 when my parents divorced. I'm now 21. Three years ago, I hit rock bottom over some girl. I really grew to care about her and then when I realised I had no chance I sort of sunk into this weird depression for several months. I got over that, then they're was another girl last year, I became sort of weirdly obsessed with her. I didn't do anything weird, but the crush was huge and I never got the courage to talk to her which just made things worse. Skip forward, and i've graduated from college in July and still have no job. I have practically zero money and just sit inside  all day on my laptop applying for jobs. My love life is non existent, I have friends but I rarely see them. I had a job washing dishes but it just made me more depressed so I had to leave. Everyone elses just seems better than mine and i'm so so lonely. I've tried tinder and stuff to meet people but I seem incapable of making friends. I recently became obsessed about the idea that I might be bisexual but I don't have romantic desire for men and have no wish to have sex with men, but i've already spoken about it on my blog so now I feel trapped and like i'm a horrible person whos stolen other peoples identity for attention. I've repeatedly told my mother and other relatives/friends that i'm having some concerns and i need help. Today i even told my mother that Id been having suicidal thoughts. But everyone just shrugs it off like they either don't care or don't know what to say. I don't know what to do? I know I need help but the waiting list is huge and I don't know if id actually get the confidence to go, and I can't afford private. I'm having constant pervasive and erratic thoughts about suicide, violence, sex and I can't control them.",-0.989,negative,sad
62,MentalHealthSupport,I think i'm having a mental breakdown,listener_1,2,"Hey! Take a breath. Find a blanket. Get comfortable. Depression result in a lot of self-loathing, negative thinking and downward spiraling of thoughts and emotions. First, dont worry you havent stolen anyones identity! You are just figuring yourself out :) and sharing the dialogue of that process via your post is great, you can comment on it and look back saying how you felt and thought at that time. With regards to your familys lack of support with your suicidal thoughts, it is disheartening to hear it so lets first take control and address what we can, yea? Join folks over at Suicide Watch subreddit and get some great insight and advice. Also be sure to take care of your basics - showering, clean clothes, eating, drinking water, medications and a walk outside every now and then. We are here for you!",0.9154,positive,acknowledging
62,MentalHealthSupport,I think i'm having a mental breakdown,listener_2,3,Also try talking to people online. Irl conversations can be hard but you can say anything that's on your mind online,-0.0516,negative,suggesting
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,speaker,1,"October 16th, 2017. 5 days after my 25th birthday, my 5 and a half year old Siberian Husky named Fell died unexpectedly.  ~flashback~ All my life all I ever wanted was my own dog, my very own fluffy best friend. When I was 19, my parents had recently divorced and I was going through abandonment issues at the time, so I started feeling maternal. I learned about Fell's birth through a friend and took him home in May 2012.  He was everything to me. I started waking up properly in the mornings, I had someone warm beside me every single night keeping me company.  When I met my boyfriend (now fiance), he was 7 months old and fully in his stubborn husky asshole stage. However my partner was a brilliant fur dad.  ~flashforward~  Fell was always a healthy dog, good appetite, was inside all the time, was never left alone due to my anxiety. But on that fateful Monday morning, he kept spitting up clear liquid.  Took him to the vets midday, was concerned it was mild kennel cough even though he had been vaccinated. Got medicine, came home, gave medicine.  Best friend rushed over, he threw up the medicine, I call the vet and they said the vet was out and he might not call back for a while.  Less than an hour later it happened. A horrific noise I dare not describe. I call the vet in a panic but I'm just put on hold, my best friend gets her car ready and I can't lift my poor baby who's so scared. Even though I would carry him around despite being 23kg, my housemate put him in the car for me and I held his paw from the front seat as my best friend sped to the vet.  But by the time we left the driveway, he stopped breathing. The vets tried to bring him back, but he was gone. My partner rushed to the vet from work, an hour commute. I had his head on my lap for so long that when I did leave him, he was so stiff that his head remained up.  The vet, and owner of the clinic, said to me that huskies commonly have an issue where for some reason fluid will build up around their heart, and kill them. To this day I have no idea why he died. I refuse to look into it, despite having previously enjoyed animal studies. He was perfectly happy the night before, I took great care of him.  It's almost been two months, and all I do is cry all the time in my grief. I got him cremated and he sits on a shelf with other pictures.  Some days I feel okay, most days I don't want to carry on anymore. I miss my fluffy and I want him back, but I know that this is how everyone feels when they lose something they love so much.  Someone suggested that I may have a form of PTSD from it, since I often have flashbacks to what was essentially, his cardiac arrest.  I have been extremely careful about triggering panic attacks as I had developed a panic disorder in 2013 when I experienced my first family death, I also developed anxiety built around Fell. So far the most hysterical I have been was when I was at the vet. I have two cats, and one of them has been comforting me a lot since. But I feel like a part of me has permanently died. I love to sing when I'm happy, but I've lost the joy required.  I can't have another dog in this house as it's a rental, and doesn't actually have a proper back yard suitable for a puppy. Fell was already well trained when we moved into this rental, so it worked out fine. But I'm so lonely, I've never lived without a dog close by. Our lease isn't until June, I'm unemployed, which I am thankful for because if I had been at work like I hoped I was, I'd never forgive myself.  I miss him more than anything, I truly feel like he was a soul mate. I'd trade anything to have him back again.  I don't know what to do, and my partner can only comfort me for so long at night whike I have these flashbacks. Since he has work early in the mornings and he's supporting us both financially now.   TL;DR  My first ever dog Fell died suddenly, without warning, at the age of 5. I think I may have some kind of ptsd from it since I'm really struggling with it.  I don't know what to do. I miss him more than anything.   I already have so many photos of him hanging up, I got him cremated so he's on a shelf in the living room, I sleep while cuddling two stuffed husky teddies, and I try my absolute best to remember that he lived a good spoilt life.  But how do I stop feeling so empty every day? How do I stop crying nearly every day? My broken heart feels like it won't ever heal, as melodramatic as that sounds...",0.9932,positive,devastated
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,listener_1,2,"I lost my dog 2 years ago. Had him for 11 years, I still can't bring myself to look at the ashes. Sorry for your loss :/",-0.743,negative,sad
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,speaker,3,Dogs are amazing but they sure break our hearts. ,0.9062,positive,sentimental
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,speaker,4,"The company I saw my psych at was for under 25's and everything happened after my birthday. Also found out Friday that my psych had left, trying to find out where she's gone to and see if I can see her there. ",0.0,neutral,devastated
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,listener_2,5,If you see a gp they might be able to refer you to someone :) ,0.4588,positive,suggesting
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,speaker,6,"I'm afraid of having to re explain everything again, it took over a year for the psych I had to fully understand and treat. ",0.4522,positive,afraid
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,listener_2,7,Can you write it down or start keeping a journal? That way you can still get it across to your psych without having to relive it verbally ❤️ You may also be able to get them to transfer notes to the new psych. ,0.0,neutral,questioning
63,MentalHealthSupport,I think I may have PTSD from a pet death,speaker,8,I'll find out this week ❤,0.6369,positive,hopeful
64,MentalHealthSupport,My best friend has been in the middle of a psychotic episode for the last 4 days - and I don’t know what to do,speaker,1,"I’ve lived with him for almost 18 months - and everything was great! Nothing out of the ordinary.  However now his thought processes and decision making are completely irrational, illogical and boarderline aggressive. He’s spoken to mental health specialists who have concluded he’s in a psychotic episode, and the other night the police and an ambulance came because it was all too much. They took him to the hospital as a voluntary admission (because he obliged to go) due to personality disorder issues. They took him to the hosp and left, and he walked out 2 seconds later and came home.   I don’t know what to do. He won’t accept any help, he doesn’t even believe he has a problem, instead he keeps accusing everybody around him of socially and emotionally manipulating him.   Any insight or advice, would be invaluable and I’d be forever appreciative",0.3397,positive,terrified
64,MentalHealthSupport,My best friend has been in the middle of a psychotic episode for the last 4 days - and I don’t know what to do,listener_1,2,Is he a danger to self or others (you)?  Call them back if so and tell them the specific threat if there is one. They can do an involuntary which is more of a hassle for them but he must stay under observation for a period of time. (Here it is 72 hours) This isn’t much better but if he exhibits serious issues then the psychiatrist can keep him longer. Hopefully long enough to find something to help him. Does he use illicit drugs?  If he does this can cause a psychosis.    Mental health care treatment is spotty and difficult to obtain. I wish you well in finding treatment. My advise is don’t give up and PROTECT yourself.  ,0.9648,positive,questioning
64,MentalHealthSupport,My best friend has been in the middle of a psychotic episode for the last 4 days - and I don’t know what to do,speaker,3,"he’s previously talked about not wanting to live anymore / suicide, but hasn’t been in the last couple of days, and when the police came round they asked if he’d threatened himself or anybody, and he hadn’t, but everything was implied in what he was saying. hence the police didn’t really care, the less faffing about to do anyway the better - so they barely gave help  he’s gone back into a calmer - less intensive and psychotic, and mood, but it’s still not normal for him and now i don’t know what to do. he’s less irrational and illogical, but not acting like his normal self he was 2 weeks ago",0.5989,positive,neutral
65,MentalHealthSupport,Abusive past relationship affecting current relationship and the way I react in arguments.,speaker,1,"I (23f) grew up in a semi normal family. I have divorced parents. 2 step siblings and 3 half siblings. Raised in church. Type 1 diabetic since I was 7. I was super involved in school and activities and a great child and teenager.  I graduated high school and started dating a guy who was much more advanced than me. We went to the same Christian college and I lost my virginity to him the following summer. As soon as I lost my virginity he pretty much said screw you and I found out he had been lying to me about a lot of stuff and cheating. After we broke up I didn’t think anyone would want to date me because of being so innocent when I was younger and that being the first man I had been with.  It’s my sophomore year of college and about 6 months later and I start dating this 26 year old marine who i later found out was an alcoholic who had bad ptsd from Iraq. We dated for almost 2 years and he was mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. And yes I’m an idiot for staying with him but I also didn’t think I would ever find anyone again after everything I had been through that would be with me. And when he wasn’t drunk and abusive we got along and had great ups. But we had terrible downs. Towards the end of our relationship I had a miscarriage and was completely distraught and didn’t handle the loss well at all. I laid in bed and despised him for not wanting the baby in the first place.  He left for the military and we ended things.   I went into a deep depression and lost about 25 pounds and started anxiety and depression medicine after ending up in the hospital with panic attacks.   About 6 months later I met my current boyfriend he is 9 months younger than me and he is different than anyone I’ve ever known. He’s soooooo stubborn and very strong headed. But he was there for me when I needed him the most and he’s always good about calming me down and loving me for my crazy self.   But the problem is that I take my anger out on him soooooo much. I don’t handle life well and I will start yelling and cussing at him like crazy. I never ever ever dreamed I would be like this. I know it’s not healthy and I know it’s not right. But it just comes out and I don’t know how to stop it. I will get in his face and lose my anger and just want to hurt him ( I never have and never would ) but it’s the urge that scares me. I’m usually a sweet caring and loving person. I don’t know what is wrong with me...   Has anyone experienced this after traumatic life events or after going through abusive relationships? I know he doesn’t deserve me treating him this way and I want to stop but don’t know how to.  ",-0.9959,negative,faithful
65,MentalHealthSupport,Abusive past relationship affecting current relationship and the way I react in arguments.,listener_1,2,"My go to answer would be therapy... learn to work through the feelings and figure out what causes you to snap like that. Once you can identify what causes you to snap, you can learn to watch out for those situations and then be more aware of your actions.   Therapy is awesome because it's focused just on you. A different option could be anger management courses. Not sure how that would interact with traumatic life event reasons for your anger, but I figure a lot of people in those classes are probably struggling for common reasons. You might learn a lot. ",-0.7295,negative,suggesting
65,MentalHealthSupport,Abusive past relationship affecting current relationship and the way I react in arguments.,speaker,3,This is the best answer anyone could have given me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and respond with a helpful response.  ,0.8591,positive,grateful
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,1,"I've been going the an emotional breakdown and I could really use someone to talk. My ex over a year had recently contacted me and is causing all kinds of emotional uproar in my life. He has a new gf and has been sober for 7 years and just started drinking. He says he still loves me and uses his emotional turmoil against me. I thought I moved on since I have a new bf. But I'm acting jealous and crazy. It's affecting my emotional well being which wasn't that great to begin with. It's affecting my new relationship, I'm not sleeping and I cant concentrate at work. I've become and emotional wreck and could use some advice. ",-0.857,negative,sad
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,2,Sorry it took so long for someone to acknowledge you... I have personal experience with such a dilemma. The absence made the heart grow fond...again?   ,0.4939,positive,sympathizing
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,3,No not really. It hasn’t been that long and I’m still chasing it. ,-0.29600000000000004,negative,neutral
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,4,"Both my parents have been married 3 times and I don’t want to be like them. But I hate being alone every night and all the time. I find myself searching for the next guy. And now that I found him, I’m still thinking about how much I miss my ex. It’s ridiculous. ",-0.8957,negative,lonely
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,5,"I understand the recycling of thoughts and deeds These broken relationships you've seen, likely from your youth doesn't help in your perception of a healthy relationship. Being alone is a valuable tool in our getting in real touch with who we are without the distraction... I know how lonely this is , but it does cut an enormous amount of shit out of our life",-0.8549,negative,agreeing
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,6,Ex's should stay Ex's Great sex or a bonded friendship only complicate the aftermath of these situations... The goal must be wellness,0.872,positive,sad
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,7,That’s what I am struggling with. He’s a great person and I can tell him anything but the baggage he has just isn’t worth it  ,0.4588,positive,trusting
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,8,That baggage is a heavy weight to carry around... Im encouraged you see this.,0.3612,positive,impressed
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,9,Yes I do it’s just hard ,0.3182,positive,agreeing
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,10,Hard it may be... but the path you ould chose will likely be even more difficult and possibly damaging,-0.8534,negative,neutral
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,11,Your right. ,0.0,neutral,agreeing
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,12,Of course I am lol! I just want you to be well and have a healthy perspective on your idea of relationships and your future... Me? I could have lived a much easier life if someone would had shared with me what I've shared with you,0.9299,positive,agreeing
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,speaker,13,I don’t know why I want to keep repeating the cycle. It makes no sense. I know it’s bad for me but why do I think I still want him and the relationship.  Like he had 3 kids no retirement bad at saving money a crazy drug addict baby mama and I’m still craving attention from him even tho I have someone else. It’s pathetic  ,-0.7331,negative,jealous
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,14,"That question only you can answer... sometimes answers come slow and action may be even slower. Don't be too hard on yourself... we don't know how to do any better, until we do. With knowledge comes responsibility... Im sure you could find someone to partner with who doesn't carry such weight.   ",0.6701,positive,neutral
66,MentalHealthSupport,First time using app. Could really use some advice,listener_1,15,The world will provide more choices..  choose carefully Your ex certainly doesn't meet your criteria... Emotional connection aside... you aren't here to fix anybody... just you Consider what I've shared... Consider what you know I've provided good honest council...   Know you are loved dear,0.9575,positive,faithful
67,MentalHealthSupport,My sister keeps repeating 'I want to die' out loud,speaker,1,"I am back home for xmas - My sister, sometimes, says out loud 'I want to die' repeteadly and I don't know how to help.   She has suffered from depression in the past, she has a stable job, but no friends and lives still with our parents (by her own choice).  I brought the topic a couple times to discuss it directly with her, encouraging him to get professional help if she really has those thoughts. But she is not clear if she just says that to get attention or because she really feels it.  In the past she got some professional help when he was suffering depression but she never accepted the idea of going to a psycologist, and left the therapy after 2 visits.   Also when I brought up the topic with my parents, they are really supportive and care about her, but they try minimize the importance of those 'i want to die ' sentences. They assume that she is like that and we have to learn to live like that.  I'm from home from time to time, perhaps 2 or 3 times per year, and as big brother I'd like to do more to be in a 'regular' situation.   Any suggestions of someone that went through something similar?",0.8024,positive,caring
67,MentalHealthSupport,My sister keeps repeating 'I want to die' out loud,listener_1,2,She needs your help Go and help her Depression is a way which a person refuses help from others You must find a way to help her,0.7269,positive,caring
67,MentalHealthSupport,My sister keeps repeating 'I want to die' out loud,listener_2,3,"Also, go to the hospital (or call a help line, also for family support) if she is in crisis and they will help with psychiatriy and medications ",0.4588,positive,agreeing
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,speaker,1,"Really hard to post this:  Ok, this is going to tarnish me big time if anyone I know reads it. However I need some input on my in most furtive thoughts.  I am 26 now and have believed that ever since I was in college (around 20) that there is some kind of a conspiracy around me to get me killed.  When I say conspiracy, I mean like people believe me some sort of child molester, or something as bad (which I would deem worthy of death btw).  So I want to list things I have done, that I dislike about myself along with the reasons.  Here:  • Viewed (inbred) Simpsons pornography -- This was shown to me when I was younger by a close member of my family, my brother, and has stuck with me for a while.  *I'd like to add that I am over it now, and actually view no pornography at all. In that time I may have viewed other questionable pornography (which I don't remember) but in any case I do not now.  ** Sorry for the incrimination  • Attacked a friends dog  I thought they were trying to kill me and the dog was a fear factor that upset me. ** My thoughts after turned to yet more conspiracy.  I witnessed my friends Sister poking the dog with a stick while he was caged and seemingly (to my eye) enjoying the act. Couple this fact with the fact that they got him from an abusive home and I started to think that it was all on purpose. My friend also witnessed how my father responded to a dog being hit in the park noting to me that my dad was very angry at that -- basically this is where it gets a bit ridiculous, when I start to think that it was planned intricately so as to cut of member of my own family -- if my dad knew that I'd attacked an innocent creature (a dog especially) he would care too much what was going to happen to me  ** This is the main one that makes me think that people genuinely want me dead. I genuinely feel bad about this one, and will hang my head for the rest of my days (I believe legs being broken is more appropriate).  • Put my friends hand on my genitalia  Not proud of it and I don't know why I did it -- Although I do blame someone a little for putting things in my head my actions remain my own. Wish I hadn't • Sexual fantasies of the snake from Jungle Book  This has been in my head since I was a child, and was quite a bad one for me to get over. I actually blame my dad for this one, although I'm not going to go into why. The MOST despicable thing for which I almost took my life, had it not been for my brother.  • Almost forced myself on my Sister. At the age of fifteen, my sister would have been seven or eight -- After I stopped myself, we frolicked outside running around the caravans until that too went south and we smacked into each other at speed (blind corner). I or my mom took her inside, nose bleeding, while I went off to a cliff to hang my head in absolute shame.  I don't know why this happened. But thank God that I did not go through with it. These are all things I wish I had the money to talk to a psychologist about. But I will have to settle for other peoples opinions.  Please tell me I'm just messed in the head and that there is no conspiracy.",-0.9946,negative,apprehensive
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,listener_1,2,"Everyone does things that they regret and when it comes down to it, what's done is done. You have to ask yourself this question: what can I do? If you can, at least try to resolve one of these by talking to the respective person ie rue owner of the dog and apologise or your friend. If you are able to do that, you will see that in the long run, relatively small things like that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. If you are unable to apologise for whatever reason or don't want to, you must find some other way to be proactive about it otherwise you will never get over it. Try writing this in a diary and locking it away or on a piece of paper and burn it. Try these methods and if they don't help you must speak to a medical professional. Keep your head up and nd stay strong <3",0.9586,positive,questioning
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,speaker,3,"My biggest fear is that there has been something said about me for which people genuinely believe I deserve death.  And right now as I am sitting here typing this I keep getting feelings like someone is just going to break down the door and shoot me.  No matter how much I rationlise I can't get these thoughts out of my head.  And I can hear a near incessant bibbing (like a car horn) which has been going on for a few days now.  I can't shake these feelings, because I have seen people look at me funny. I have felt malice from individuals, although some may be misinterpreted.   I just keep feeling like that scene in Blow (a drug trafficking film) is going to happen to me, and everyone just going to leave me.",-0.16699999999999998,negative,terrified
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,speaker,4,"Thanks, I will try to. But the sense of paranoia and conspiracy seems to stay with me no matter what I do. And I feel quite selfish. But thanks for getting back to me, I'll use this information best I can.",0.0503,positive,trusting
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,listener_1,5,"There's not much I can do as me telling you that it won't happen isn't going to help you. I beg you, please seek a medical professional, you'll be able to enjoy life again.",0.501,positive,hopeful
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,speaker,6,I probably will seek advice online. I had a drop of brandy which seems to have helped (only a bit).  Thanks for getting back to me again.,0.2023,positive,apprehensive
68,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Disorder?,listener_1,7,"Well done for seeking help, it's very brave. As someone with various mental health issues I can testify to how difficult it is to go for help. Also brandy is great but don't let it become a coping mechanism :)",0.8859,positive,neutral
69,MentalHealthSupport,Unstable mental condition is stopping me from getting an ESA dog to help condition?,speaker,1,"I'm 20 years old and living at home. I'm in college and I used to work at a hotel. I have had separation anxiety and abandonment issues all my life because my parents divorced when I was 2. Growing up was hard and long story short, I was constantly moving around and was always at a babysitter's house. I used to work in a cafeteria at a hospital full time and my separation anxiety got bad because I was always alone at work. Soon, I quit and got better when I started at the hotel. Then I was left alone at work again so I changed positions. I started having less anxiety but one day I started having severe anxiety attacks at work and I had to leave early almost every day. I started looking for a way to help the situation and after hours upon hours of research, I decided a Border Collie would be the perfect emotional support dog for me. They're high maintenance and I wanted to be able to dedicate all my free time to taking care of it. My mom agreed to let me get one so I put away as much money as possible. I also started seeing a doctor and got antidepressants and anxiety medicine. It wasn't really working for me and I got so anxious at work that I was constantly getting in trouble. I refused to work because I only wanted to be around the friends I had there. So, I was walking on thin ice and drama started getting bad at work. One day I left after my shift and never came back. It's been nice being at home a lot because my mom works from home and I can hangout with her. The only problem is my anxiety is getting worse because I'm getting too attached to being at home.  I have never pet a Border Collie before and I kept having dreams about it. Earlier this week I went to the hospital to see my doctor and get my prescriptions changed. As I was leaving, I ran into two volunteers who were walking a Border Collie. He was a super fluffy black and white Collie and I loved him. I pet him non stop for 20 minutes and it was great. He goes around the hospital comforting patients and his owner was telling me about how he's the perfect therapy dog. So, basically, my anxiety caused me to quit my job and now I can't afford a Border Collie. I'm still putting away birthday and Christmas money but I don't think I can handle another job right now. I'm going to start doing counseling at church, then I'm going to volunteer at an animal shelter, then try and get a part time job. My goal with volunteering is to become comfortable working and not talking to people during my whole shift and it will be good because I won't feel so ""trapped"" like I did at work. Does anyone else have some kind of separation anxiety? I want to know if anyone else experiences the things I do.",0.9826,positive,lonely
69,MentalHealthSupport,Unstable mental condition is stopping me from getting an ESA dog to help condition?,listener_1,2,"My parent's separated when I was young, and I saw their last fight. My mother was there for me until she left me with my father in high school, then my father's relationship went south and he left me for a while. I left to College and struggle to get along with either of my parents although I love them dearly. I miss them when I'm gone but never feel contented when they're with me. Feel free to read my post where I go into my experience more. Good luck getting the pup OP!! ",0.9317,positive,lonely
69,MentalHealthSupport,Unstable mental condition is stopping me from getting an ESA dog to help condition?,speaker,3,Parents are difficult because you can't choose them. But thank you and I'll check out your post,0.3612,positive,neutral
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,speaker,1,"So I was wondering, my dad used to sometimes kick me and one time he sort of choked me. I was wondering if this is abuse? Since it only happened a few times? I still live with him and he doesn't do it anymore, in fact he is really kind towards me now?! However, everytime he raises his voice or makes a sudden move, I find that I'm still scared.  And if it is abuse.. should I tell my therapist? Will she call child services?   I'm fucking scared.   ",-0.9472,negative,apprehensive
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,listener_1,2,"Speak up, even if it's only to your therapist. Sounds like something you could use some help with to me. I don't know if there are any rules saying they need to talk to authorities. There might be if you are still a juvenile. It's not right that you are scared like that, maybe talking about it will help you out. Please reach out for help if you don't feel safe at home.",0.8479,positive,suggesting
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,listener_2,3,"When you tell your therapist (which you should for a couple of reasons) tell him/her that you're scared of what might happen by telling him/her this. It's important to talk about this so your fear of someone raising a hand doesn't become a bigger fear later on.  Health providers do have to report abuse, but social services tries everything they can to keep families together. By sharing what's happening they and your therapist might be able to help with family counseling or getting counseling for your dad.  I hope things get better for you. ~Hugs",0.9419,positive,trusting
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,speaker,4,Thank you both for your responses. But.. will she still call child services if I said it happened when I was young..? Because the abuse doesn't happen anymore now. He doesn't kick me anymore or choke me? ,-0.9034,negative,questioning
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,speaker,5,"Thanks for your response.   >When I was a child/teenager my father mentally and verbally abused me a lot, of course I didn't understand it to be abuse until I was an adult.  I'm sorry to hear that happened to you :(   >Everyone deserves to be safe, even if it's from a parent. I haven't had anything to do with my father for nearly 7 years now, the constant fear of being hurt does go away. It does get better.  That's probably right...  but it feels very wrong to do this. He loves me now and he cares about me a lot now. He doesn't do any harm..  >I wish you the best.  Thanks, you too x",0.9592,positive,sympathizing
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,listener_3,6,"I can see why you feel like it's wrong, since his behaviour has changed. I was actually super close to my father as I got older, the abuse had slowed down a lot.   But of course, he got me involved with him leaving my mother. Things got vicious very quickly, he had done some damage I will absolutely never forgive.   I'd say you can talk about this with your therapist, they can't call child services unless he is a threat to your life. Which sounds like he currently isn't. ",-0.9184,negative,trusting
70,MentalHealthSupport,Am I abused?,speaker,7,"Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking! I’m not in danger currently in my opinion.  Thanks for the response! ",0.8385,positive,agreeing
71,MentalHealthSupport,Depression/anxiety,speaker,1,"Im in a terrible way. Basically I have had depression on off for years all of which I would put to having a slight lazy eye.  I have always been able to manage depression but what im getting now is something else enitirely I Have started living this world of social fear. The before I go im in bits thinking about the night out, when im on it I hate it and then the next few days my brain replays  every single conversation that I have.  UI   Not just with strangers but with loved ones, old friends etc.Ive just got to the stafe where  I dont see my friends anymore as im just terrified to go out,  Can anyone advise on this",-0.9436,negative,terrified
71,MentalHealthSupport,Depression/anxiety,listener_1,2,"No, but I know you aren't alone, so there is help out there. I have had friends with these problems, and I know that eventually they get it sorted out. It just takes good friends and honest communication. Sadly, the honest communication is lacking in our society.  I hope that you can overcome this, and just remember that there are always people willing to help you if you want it.",0.983,positive,trusting
71,MentalHealthSupport,Depression/anxiety,speaker,3,"Thank you, you're right. I'm going to get a referral from my doctor. Thanks for taking the time to reply",0.6597,positive,agreeing
71,MentalHealthSupport,Depression/anxiety,listener_1,4,"No problem. It's not just doctors that can help. I don't know where you live, or what the circumstances are, but there are a lot of ways to connect with people who have experience in a more social setting.   If you ever need to just vent or anything, you can probably get a hold of me through the chat on here. I have never used it, but it must work I'm guessing. ",0.3567,positive,trusting
72,MentalHealthSupport,"I know exactly how to get out depression, but I can't do it.",speaker,1,"After years and years of depression and therapy, I have noticed I already know what to do to get better: get away from my family. For this I need some financial independence, and for that I need to get my ass down to work (I'm a freelance artist, so in this case it would be networking and improving my portfolio and so).  However I can't do it. I don't have the strength to getting down to it and I need to. Other jobs are not an option because so far everything I've tried made my depression worse. I watch movies, series, or sleep all day to avoid feeling anything and setting my mind into auto mode.  At the same time I'm thinking I might have an adiction to all these because it is the only thing that makes me feel better??? Atm it's 1 am and I should have gone to sleep an hour ago but I am still browsing reddit. (I've tried some blocking apps but I always en up disabling them.)  Also emotional abusive family doesn't help. So goes the circle. Any tips? ",-0.9708,negative,ashamed
72,MentalHealthSupport,"I know exactly how to get out depression, but I can't do it.",listener_1,2,"try to find another way to feel better,  maybe going out for a coffee or the library  (my favorite spot you don't have to talk to anyone but still get a little change of scenery) so you get to spend some time away from your family. Also there's this TED talk that helped me a lot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=njESlZa2b10 , it's about getting stuff done when you're depressed. Good luck! ",0.7678,positive,suggesting
72,MentalHealthSupport,"I know exactly how to get out depression, but I can't do it.",speaker,3,"I'm not comfortable working outside my house (mainly because I have my dog there, who I use as an ESA pet), but I will give it a try. I'm moving on my own soon, but this is stressing me because I'm not sure I will be able to sustain myself.  I'm moving because I was lent an apartment, but I still have to pay the bills and I'm unsure I can do that.  Thank you for the help! ",-0.4829,negative,grateful
72,MentalHealthSupport,"I know exactly how to get out depression, but I can't do it.",listener_2,4,"Go to a dog park,  I really think getting away for even the day would help your health it does for me when I get in that way. ",0.4019,positive,caring
73,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and Boundaries,speaker,1,I need help badly... I need to set boundaries with my parents but I don’t know how to do it or what boundaries I even want. Like- I don’t even know where to start. I’m so anxious and timid to do this but I am 19 and kinda tired of feeling like I’m micromanaged. It’s annoying as hell. Idk- what are some boundaries you set with your parents? Were you anxious to talk to them about them and express your feelings too? How do you get over the guilt and anxiety (if you felt that) once you did? TIA ❤️,-0.9368,negative,questioning
73,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and Boundaries,listener_1,2,"Oh my gosh, I’ve just started on reddit and got on this thread and this is my same exact issue. Hope we get some advice!",0.4926,positive,consoling
73,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and Boundaries,listener_2,3,"Well I wish I could take my own advice; however....  Tell them that you suffer from high anxiety and that their suggestions, directions, repeated attempts to fix you need to stop as you must be accepted for who you are.   That you can no more not have these boundaries as if they would ask you to no longer require O2.   Your anxieties are real and those not respecting them are thereby not respecting you.   You are aware of your issues and are seeking the right help; however they are not the source of that help   Then if they don’t, you should cut them out of your life. I haven’t gotten to that point. But I did outlive one :)  ",0.1955,positive,agreeing
73,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and Boundaries,listener_3,4,Good luck! Let me know if you want to talk some more!,0.7772,positive,wishing
74,MentalHealthSupport,I need help/advice.,speaker,1,My mom always gets pissed off because I shut down and can’t talk and just stutter around and start shaking and freak out over little things like a small change in routine and when she keeps talking to me trying to get me to calm down I try to get her to leave me alone and she gets mad and stomps off because I ‘shut down’ and I’m ‘not listening to her’.   Like yeah I shut down but its because all of a sudden anyone touching me or any noises or anything make me just lose my shit with like the feeling you get when you hear nails on a chalk board or something.   I have anxiety but this feels different sometimes I don’t even know what triggers it.   And after I finally stop feeling like I want to crawl out of my own skin I have to go apologize to her. ,-0.7743,negative,ashamed
74,MentalHealthSupport,I need help/advice.,listener_1,2,"To me, it isn't you. It's her. She needs to learn boundaries. It sounds like over stimulation. I get that way too, and it helps when someone just listens to me, and leaves me alone. And when they don't, it makes it worse... especially when they make me feel guilty for wanting the things I need. I'm sorry if this isn't a lot of help...",-0.1027,negative,lonely
74,MentalHealthSupport,I need help/advice.,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply,, yeah she gets mad because shes like I CAN RELATE!! but like she doesn’t let me say whats going on so I don’t know how she can know she relates?? ",0.7347,positive,neutral
74,MentalHealthSupport,I need help/advice.,listener_1,4,"I understand how that is. Maybe one day when you're feeling okay, ask her if she can just talk. And try not to seem like you're telling her she doesn't understand. Use ""I feel"" statements. Like, ""sometimes I feel too sensitive to touch, sound, or my emotions."" Maybe she'll begin to understand. It might not happen but at least you'd have tried. My mother was the same. And I promise it does get better when you have your own space. I hope it gets better!",0.9492,positive,suggesting
74,MentalHealthSupport,I need help/advice.,speaker,5,She try’s to help me but she gets upset when I won’t listen to her when she says shes been through the exact same thing but she usually only brings this up in the middle of one of my attacks and doesn’t like to leave me alone even when I say its what helps me the most. ,-0.3716,negative,annoyed
75,MentalHealthSupport,The feeling inside that prevents me from doing things.,speaker,1,"So I am not quite sure what this feeling is but it feels like a bubble inside that stops me from doing things. Almost like a fear, actually it's probably a fear. But whenever I go to do or make something I just get this feeling inside. And recently this feeling has made me not want to do anything. It's like writer's block but so much worse. My mind goes blank as if someone hit the off switch. Everything goes except for for a voice that says that I'm going to fail or that it's never going to be good enough. I'm an artist and I specialize in 3D art but I want to practice with 2d art but whenever I go to practice or work this feeling comes up. I just want to know what I'm feeling and why. Because if I know then I can get help. ",-0.4159,negative,apprehensive
75,MentalHealthSupport,The feeling inside that prevents me from doing things.,listener_1,2,"I have that too. In fact I've sat in bed all day today wishing I'd go out and do something at least productive. Something like a bubble does hold you back, and for me I know it's fear but I'm not sure why we have fear over simple things like going in public. ",-0.5256,negative,apprehensive
75,MentalHealthSupport,The feeling inside that prevents me from doing things.,speaker,3,Yeah it sucks sometimes.,-0.0772,negative,agreeing
76,MentalHealthSupport,"Coming to terms, What to expect and Advice.",speaker,1,"Hey. For some background im 20 years old and have know for a while i may have some mental health issues. Over the past little bit my recent girlfriend has showed me that being open with it is okay and its good to get help. All 3 if someone can help and say something that would be beautiful. Thank you all Coming to terms: Its a lot to take in and im still stressing which isnt helping a lot of the things running through my mind and its a lot to finally deal with. Im scared what they will find will ruin my life, how im seen or even just ruin me. In the sense of them finding something i didnt think i would have. What to expect: How should i feel now coming to get help? As ive said i have never gotten help over the id say 7-8 years ive known. My mother suggested therapy after i couldnt let some things in the past go. What would help me not freak out after hearing what i have, what the meds could do or how it can effect my family and girlfriend... Advice: For advice its more for my paranoia. I have known about my paranoia for a while and its more self diagnosed. But i always have the feeling of me getting jumped at night, my friends secertly hate me and just put up with me, my girlfriend is not wanting to be with me or is wanting to leave me for other guys and im more of a burden of my family than i am helpful. It  freaks me the hell out. I just want some advice that would help calm down and show me its not here and i feel as if its ruining my relationship with people and i dont want my girlfriend to think i dont trust her. Someone help? This is all still scary... Thank you all who read this Hollowed",-0.7425,negative,grateful
76,MentalHealthSupport,"Coming to terms, What to expect and Advice.",listener_1,2,"I don't know exactly how you feel, but I share a lot of the thoughts you're dealing with, especially with how you feel about your friends and being burden on your loved ones.  For a long time, I ignored how I was feeling, recently diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with recurrent mild and underlaying anxiety, and it never got better.  I tried to ignore how I was feeling over all and that I didn't need therapy or a doctor.  I ultimately went and almost had a panic attack in the waiting room as it was my first time (this past tues) and am still having trouble coming to terms with everything.  It's OK to be scared and nervous any time you visit, but it will help provide some validation and some direction.  Good Luck!",-0.8876,negative,ashamed
76,MentalHealthSupport,"Coming to terms, What to expect and Advice.",speaker,3,"That honestly helps to hear that so much, things are slowly getting better and im getting help next week with counceling. But little things here and there set me off so i still have that to work. Thank you so much!!",0.8568,positive,acknowledging
76,MentalHealthSupport,"Coming to terms, What to expect and Advice.",listener_1,4,"Everything will take time. Just because something doesn't work right away, doesn't mean it won't. Good for you with getting help. It's a big step, give yourself credit for that. Good luck!!",0.8548,positive,wishing
76,MentalHealthSupport,"Coming to terms, What to expect and Advice.",speaker,5,"Thanks man, that really means a lot",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
77,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes I have no optimistism for the future.,speaker,1,I'm a very anxious person and I am incredibly miserable. I'll use these terms as I'm not at all diagnosed with anything although my therapist say that it's quite obvious that I have social anxiety. All of this hinders me. It has made me become cripplingly lonely and unable to make new relationships. I can only so much as become acquaintances with new people and hold on to what I have left with old friends. I have never done anything with a woman so I am incredibly sexual frustrated. My self esteem seems to be on its last legs. I feel like the future is due to be worse and I'm scared. I don't know if the therapy is working. Life to me seems to be an endless struggle to distract myself from my feelings. Someone please help me out. ,-0.9112,negative,lonely
77,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes I have no optimistism for the future.,listener_1,2,"You literally just described my life and my feelings. I'm having an especially hard time right now because my best friend is getting married, so my main support person won't be there for me in the same way she has been in the past. And since I struggle to maintain friendships, I don't have anyone else to give me the human interaction and affection I need.  I too have trouble making friends because my anxiety makes me spend all my time alone, doing alone people things. I have been on 1 date in my entire life and have never kissed someone.   I don't know if I can help, but if you want to talk, send me a PM.",0.7386,positive,lonely
77,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes I have no optimistism for the future.,speaker,3,I'm new on reddit and I don't know how to pm you. ,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
77,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes I have no optimistism for the future.,listener_1,4,Click on the little envelope in the top right corner and then click on the link that says send private message.,0.2023,positive,apprehensive
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",speaker,1,"Hi, I'm 19 and I don't really know how to describe what my life is like except for that  it's like playing a first person RPG of my own life but not being emotionally invested in the characters, I feel like I'm acting my way through social interactions in a chaotic good kind of ""this is what I think I'm supposed to say"" way, and taking risks just hoping for something that excites me (haven't done anything out of the ordinary but I have very strong ""call of the void"" type impulsive thoughts) all I've really been able to find that makes me really feel something positive is shared sexuality (has to be with someone else, not masturbation or something) or getting drunk or high. On the otherhand when I see something that is traumatic for those involved, real or tv I feel overwhelmingly sad and have to shut it off or try to help. What's happening?",0.9401,positive,apprehensive
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",listener_1,2,"From what you've said, you come closest to Borderline Personality Disorder - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder",-0.4019,negative,afraid
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",speaker,3,"Reading more into it the ""discouraged borderline"" subcategory seems to fit my interpersonal relationships and general feelings, thank you.",0.3182,positive,content
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",listener_1,4,"No worries, there are free apps available where you can talk to someone - '7 Cups of Tea' is one I've used before.",0.684,positive,questioning
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",speaker,5,"Ok, thank you",0.3612,positive,wishing
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",listener_2,6,"In the foster system they diagnosed me 5 or 6 different times with BPD being one of them and as an adult I can tell you all I had wrong with me was I was a kid going through some shit, and was trying to hold it together. So I don't know your back ground but the people around you could make you feel that way. Even family. ",-0.5187,negative,trusting
78,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm not sure what's wrong, or even if something is but I can't afford therapy to find out",speaker,7,I'm definitely not going to just self diagnose ,0.4019,positive,agreeing
79,MentalHealthSupport,"Boyfriend with possible mental health issues, at my whits end",speaker,1,"First I want to say that if I have posted this in the wrong place, I am sorry.  My boyfriend and I have been together for going on 6 years. He is currently 25 and I am 32. From what I know of his childhood he suffered alot of emotional and physical abuse from his mother, and her side of the family. He does not know anything about his biological father.  I love my boyfriend, more than life itself, but it gets harder to be with him as time goes by. He's never been physically abusive to me, but he can be emotionally abusive. He gets set off by anything. I dont do something right, and he immediately yells at me and calls me names like stupid, retard, ect. He's always telling me how I am bringing him down. I've supported him for 4 years, being the only one working. I've been there for him through hardships, and have tried to give him the world, but its always as if he wants me to be the bad guy in his life, so he makes himself see me that way. It's not only me he lashes out at, it's just life in general too. When he is frustrated or angry with other people he yells to the point that I'm worried he will get sick.  I dont know what is wrong with him. If he has anger and anxiety because of his childhood, if he is bipolar. I'm just frustrated because I want to help him. I want the man I fell in love with back, but I dont know what to do. I know people will think I sound like an idiot for staying with him. But I love him, and dont want to give up on him.",-0.9859,negative,caring
79,MentalHealthSupport,"Boyfriend with possible mental health issues, at my whits end",listener_1,2,"I've been in a similar situation.. it's shitty. The most important thing is to get him into counceling. Based off of this post, it sounds like he needs professional help from an outside source to tackle some of these issues. I would also really consider evaluating whether or not he is a positive influence on your life. You are not responsible for fixing him, he has to do that on his own. Abuse is abuse, regardless of the reasoning behind it. That's not something anyone should have to live with.  Hope this was helpful!",0.2318,positive,agreeing
79,MentalHealthSupport,"Boyfriend with possible mental health issues, at my whits end",listener_2,3,I agree.  Life isn't a fairy tale. Even my therapist says this.,0.3612,positive,agreeing
80,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issue,speaker,1,"Not sure where this should go, I've suffered from depression from youth after a traumatic experience.  For some years now I've felt more and more invisible, like people must not hear me talking or see my messages. I don't know if I'm bothering people or of they really don't know how sad I am. I'm not bombarding anyone with personal stuff, it's like we can be in a whole group and I'll say setting and no one responds and then someone else will say it and everyone agrees. I'm starting to have more mental health issues because of it and I start wondering if there's more wrong with me. Just feeling very sad and needed to get this off my chest. ",-0.9327,negative,lonely
80,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issue,listener_1,2,"There's nothing wrong with you and it is OK to feel sad.  Is there anyone that you are very close with to try and talk about how you feel? I sometimes find myself in a similar situation where no one will listen, it's incredibly frustrating so I've started keeping things to myself.  Don't give up.  Hope this helps a little. ",-0.3425,negative,questioning
80,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issue,speaker,3,Honestly just someone responding is nice ,0.7003,positive,acknowledging
80,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issue,speaker,4,"I have my husband and he is an amazing support system, but most of my isolation comes from distant family and old friends who I just wish were still close I guess. And thank you, I was in a rough patch yesterday ",0.8822,positive,lonely
80,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issue,speaker,5,"I do, and I know I will have to grow through it because it's just how it is with my distant family andnolf friends, the time and distance did it's damage. Some days it hurts more than others. ",-0.4939,negative,sad
81,MentalHealthSupport,"19, depressed, college student",speaker,1,"Hi. I’m a 19 year old girl who’s in college rn. I am in my fourth semester at community college. I have one more semester left to graduate which will probably be fall of this year since I don’t have enough money to take all the classes I have left in the summer. Anyways I’m worried about my financial aid not being renewed for next school year since I failed a class last semester. My gpa is still high but I’m worried it won’t be renewed for next school year. Also I don’t know what I want to major in college. I feel so stuck where I live. I live in a tiny apartment one room with my dad on top of a mom and pop shop in a really bad neighborhood. There’s no windows in this apartment. I run into people wherever I go. Whether it be a gas station, street light or at the mall I always run into people that I know. I’m paranoid. I’m currently working at a retail store but they’re only giving me about four hours a week. Also I feel like no one there likes me and that’s why they’re giving me such little hours. I keep feeling like they think I’m slow or something .  On top of that in order to apply to other jobs I need references and I’ve only held about two jobs where I don’t know if anyone there has anything nice to say about me since I was always a nice worker but had a lot of absences in those high school jobs.  When I finish my associates I want to move out and transfer to an out of town university because I can’t bear to live in this city or apartment room anymore but that would mean taking on loans for my last two years of college. I don’t know if it’s worth it?  I have no family except my dad and my mom across the country who doesn’t care about me. I have no clothes to wear (2 shirts, 2 jeans, 1 slacks, 1 pair of shoes)because I don’t make enough money to buy any. I’ve gained so much weight and I’m so uncomfortable in my body.  Out of my miserable job I have to pay for my gas and braces monthly so I have no money left over for clothes. My dad gives me no. Financial support other than paying the rent and phone bill. Not even laundry money.  I don’t have any friendships here in town that I could hangout with. I get the feeling that everyone hates me tbh. ",0.5009,positive,apprehensive
81,MentalHealthSupport,"19, depressed, college student",listener_1,2,Would you like a donation of clothes? I been there too and people at my church helped me overcome such struggles.,0.0,neutral,grateful
81,MentalHealthSupport,"19, depressed, college student",speaker,3,Yes.,0.4019,positive,agreeing
82,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help for another,speaker,1,"I am a 31/f who has Bpd, Ptsd, major depression, and anxiety but I have found help and support I know different ways to process my trauma and my pain. My purpose is I am the kind of person that wants to help others like others have helped me. My struggles are still there but I am stronger mentally than I was when I was younger. I know my triggers and I know how and who to reach out or how to ease my mind. My thing is now the man that I love doesn't know how to process emotional pain or how to find a path to start moving forward.  I am helping bit by bit because I have been in his shoes but I am looking to see if someone may give me some ideas that I may not have thought of. I know my first step is to slowly stop him from shutting down because it is going to be so much harder for him to process if he shuts down I know I have been there. My main thing right now is to get him to talk but I just need some ideas on what else will work without pushing to badly. I have also reached out to my therapist because though I am not the one going through it, it effects me because I love him. I am just looking for help not for me but for me to help him if my ways are not enough.  Because this person is truly the love of my life.  We all have a history mine is dark but I made it with a constant battle but I am at a place where I am good. But I need to help him. Please. ",0.9928,positive,grateful
82,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help for another,listener_1,2,"I relate to your diagnosis and experience.  What I want to say is that nothing you can do will make anyone else process pain they have been avoiding for many years.  It's hard enough to work through things when you are motivated and aching to be well.  Without internal motivation your partner will not be able to do what you did for yourself, no matter how hard he is pushed, pulled or dragged through the process.  I wish it was easier to help people with the strategies that have helped me, but some folks prefer their pain locked away, and that is where it stays.  People who practise self care recognize their limitations when it comes to helping others change.",0.4488,positive,caring
82,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for help for another,speaker,3,You are right completely. ,0.0,neutral,agreeing
83,MentalHealthSupport,ADHD,speaker,1,"Background:  take 125mg for my ADHD, suffer from GAD with symptoms PTSD, Depression,dysgraphia,sensory processing disorder, possible borderline autism. 15  I feel kinda like my ADHD has gotten worse and I was under the impression that ADHD got better with age. I'm unsettled by this and want to know wether I should inform my parents and psychiatrist as well. Also was I informed wrong on ADHD getting better with age.",-0.5256,negative,apprehensive
83,MentalHealthSupport,ADHD,listener_1,2,i have it to. Smoking weed helps all of the symptoms in small doses you need to try it,0.3818,positive,agreeing
83,MentalHealthSupport,ADHD,speaker,3,Well it would be unethical for me to do that seeing it is against the law in my state furthermore it is been shown that marijuana can damage the brain when it is still in development,-0.6597,negative,agreeing
83,MentalHealthSupport,ADHD,speaker,4,Not Adderall. I believe it's a depressant but I'm not sure,-0.5012,negative,afraid
83,MentalHealthSupport,ADHD,listener_1,5,"It can in large doses. It’s also been shown to significantly help the symptoms in ADHD and it’s medically used in states for that exact reason. In fact, in a few studies patients prefer the marijuana over traditional stimulants",0.4019,positive,surprised
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,speaker,1,"I'm a 15 almost 16 year old boy who can be described by others as very nice, caring, and goofy. Pretty popular at my school. Not a lot of people know though that I have really bad depression and anxiety. But, recently, I've formed this new mental health problem. I often times recently feel this surreal type of feeling but in a bad way. I already struggle with suicidal thoughts but now this is different. I feel more worthless than usual. Now I feel like my existence really doesn't matter and that I am truly just a random and useless human being. Now this is the weird part. I feel this, not in a depressing way, but in a fact kind of way. When i'm driving I feel this urge to speed all the way up and watch the city lights turn into a blur and crash my car on purpose because in these types of moments I feel... unimportant. Almost struggling to decide whats real and not, also. I have these unusually realistic nightmares where I feel everything and I wake up feeling like what happened in the dream happened in real life also. I had a dream, for example, that I lost one of my dearest friends. It would be my second friend I lost this year and the 6th person I cared about to die this year also. I woke up feeling as if this happened. My girlfriend worries about me a lot because of these things going on. My first counseling appointment is this Friday. Please help me.",-0.8317,negative,ashamed
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,listener_1,2,"The best thing to do is going to a professional. What you describe as looks like a stage very close to suicide. Please be very careful and hand in there! You are not a random person for your girlfriend, your existence matters! You want to love, proof is that you wrote here.  If you feel really bad ask if you can push your counseling forward. Where I live you can call a psychiatrist for emergency as you would call for any other situation for aambulance. I don't know how that would work where you live. Maybe a local hospital has a mental wing and you can ask there?  Anyway, please hang in there and don't give up! Things can get better, even if it doesn't seem like it. ",0.8949,positive,apprehensive
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,speaker,3,thank you. i'll try hanging in. it's just hard recently. im seeking professional help now.,0.5859,positive,sympathizing
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,speaker,4,"thank you. stirring alone with my thoughts seems to make everything worse, though",-0.3818,negative,sympathizing
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,speaker,5,seeing a phsychologist on friday. he'll diagnose me then. i'll post results,0.0,neutral,hopeful
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,listener_2,6,"If you or your loved ones feel it's an emergency, definitly call the hotline so they can help keep you safe. To be realistic about this, it can sometimes (not always, but sometimes) take a while to settle on a diagnosis; like a few months to a year. Sometimes a even after all that time, a diagnosis isn't supper clear cut. The first few  sessions are usually mostly you talking, answering specific questions about your medical and family history, so your new doc can get to know you. I say this so you can have an idea of what to expect when you go in on Friday. Be honest with them and yourself about what's going on with you (and it's severity-- suicidal ideation, while not uncommon, is pretty severe) so they know how best to help.",0.7897,positive,apprehensive
84,MentalHealthSupport,IM LOSING MY MIND PLEASE HELP,speaker,7,thank you very much. i got a reddit just to ask for help and im so glad people are here to help. a lot better than 4chan😂,0.9483,positive,grateful
85,MentalHealthSupport,25F - Coping with brothers suicide and my own mental health,speaker,1,"**LONG POST**   So I'm posting as I'm looking for any advice or help and basically just to get things off my chest.  I'll start off with my own mental health first... I have suffered with body dysmorphia for 12 years and bulimia for 3 years (currently recovering). I finally went and got help in May 2017. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I completely broke down at the doctors but I finally spoke out and admitted I needed help. I plucked up the courage to get help by posting on here (a different account) first. Anyway... I started attending therapy and by the end of June 2017 I'd stopped making myself sick and carried on going to therapy and focused on the body dysmorphia side of things and tried to change my thinking about myself. I found therapy SO helpful and I learnt so many things about myself and tools on how to tackle the demons in my head.  Anyway... weeks went by and then unexpectedly my brother (only 23 years old) commited suicide in September 2017. I obviously had to take a break from therapy but it triggered my old eating habits. I stopped eating, lost a stone and when I got my appetite back I started being sick again. I've managed to get that under control again but I feel absolutely disgusting about my body and how I look again. I feel like I'm back at square one. As I went on a therapy break, my therapist went on long term sick and still is... and I've been offered a new lady who seems lovely... but I'm not sure how I feel about seeing someone that I don't know or have built a relationship with. Also I'm scared she will want to talk about my brothers death and I'm not sure how I feel about that...  As for my brother... it was the worst, most heart breaking day of my life. I'd had some time off work due to a surgery earlier in the year and I was due to start work on the Monday morning. I got to the training base (4 hours away from home)... and got the phone call from my Mum to say that my brother had killed himself. Luckily my boyfriend came straight out of work and drove me 4 hours home so I didn't have to drive or be alone. We had no idea that my brother felt suicidal and he never left us a note or any clues as to why he did it. His ex girlfriend had broken up with him 2 weeks before however I don't blame her for his death.   I just can't cope with everything right now. I feel so down about everything. I have the most amazing family, boyfriend and I love my job... but I just feel so low. I feel like guilty and like I'm being ungrateful that I feel this way but I can't help it.  Sorry for the long post, I just needed to write all of this out.  ",-0.9842,negative,ashamed
85,MentalHealthSupport,25F - Coping with brothers suicide and my own mental health,listener_1,2,"Hey there.  I think it's a great thing that you decided to post here and especially that you searched for professional help for your mental health. It really sounds like a lot to process, and you'll need all the help you can get.  Losing your brother at such a young age is one of the most horrible things I can imagine. Having a brother of similar age myself I don't even want to think about what it would be like. I don't really know what the reasons were for your brother, but I think it doesn't matter.  Please take lots of time to recover, going through something like this while also having other mental health problems is extremely rough, something that a lot of others might not understand. It sounds like you're close with your family and boyfriend, so don't hesitate to talk to them about this and get through this nightmare together. You're not ungrateful at all, you're doing everything you can and deserve to get the help and love from other people.  The pain will never go away completely, but if you take your time to process the entire thing and work on it, it will eventually help you to get to terms with it emotionally and hopefully find new peace and joy, even when you miss your brother a lot.  Anyway, stay strong, this is a very hard time for you, and I hope you'll be able to get through it. If you want to talk about it more, you can send me a message. Have a virtual hug <3",0.9926,positive,grateful
85,MentalHealthSupport,25F - Coping with brothers suicide and my own mental health,speaker,3,"Well I thought maybe I'll pluck up the courage to go back and get help by posting on here again first, so fingers crossed this'll give me a push!   Yeah I guess it doesn't matter. Me and my family have no idea really what the reasons were for him killing himself and we'll never know, which is hard to process. Feel like we could have done so much to help him if he'd have just told us :(  I've managed to tell my boyfriend how I'm feeling... I'm struggling to talk to my Mum about this as I don't want her to be upset or worry that I'm feeling suicidal like my brother... my boyfriend has offered to come with me to the doctors and he's trying to help me so much which is amazing and I appreciate it so much. He lives 3 hours away from me which is hard though.  Thank you so much for taking your time to reply to me, I appreciate it x ",0.8156,positive,hopeful
86,MentalHealthSupport,How do you stop talking to yourself?,speaker,1,"I talk to myself quite uncontrollably when I’m comfortable in my environment and I’m afraid that it will ruin potential friendships and relationships, you know scare people away when they get to know me.",-0.5984,negative,embarrassed
86,MentalHealthSupport,How do you stop talking to yourself?,listener_1,2,I kind of embrace it a little. I mean in what sense are you talking to yourself,0.2516,positive,agreeing
86,MentalHealthSupport,How do you stop talking to yourself?,speaker,3,"Like rambling on to myself about thoughts, feelings, experiences and I give myself advice.",0.3612,positive,trusting
87,MentalHealthSupport,Starting fluoxetine,speaker,1,"I was prescribed fluoxetine (prozac) today for anxiety, depression and some bulimia. What is everyone’s experiences with this medication? I’m on 20mg for the next four weeks. ",-0.6597,negative,apprehensive
87,MentalHealthSupport,Starting fluoxetine,listener_1,2,"Woooooohooo fluoxetine train.  Yeah!  As someone who recently got bumped up to 40, I have been really pleasantly surprised by it.  I thought I would feel like a zombie and fake, but I feel more like myself than I have in YEARS.  YEARS of depression have been lifted- I still have issues obviously, but I feel like they're surmountable with the fluoxetine.   It's one of the old standards, and I was terrified to try Vitamin P due to the ""soccer mom rep"" it has.   I mean, I'm sure yr pharmacist will tell you this, but take it early in the morning and try to consume it with some food (at the very least, a LARGE glass of water).  The cool part is going to happen in about a week.  You're going to feel... more normal.  Energetic.  Better.  You won't be 100% okay, but you'll be able to feel things again.  20 mg is a starting dose- yr Dr might raise it higher if you don't react to it poorly.  Some people get nauseous from it.  If you do, ask yr Dr what you should do- they might give you 10 mgs to try and ease you in.  If you have trouble sleeping, talk to your psychiatrist about trazodone as well.  Fluox can give you TOO much energy and pep, and trazodone is an anti-anxiety that also knocks you out.  Be gentle with it though-  use only as needed.  It's not the most fun, but it's better than not sleeping and having weeks of mental health work feel useless because you're tired.  Eat calcium-rich foods!  Drink a lot of water.  And most of all, journal journal  journal journal everything.  Document EVERYTHING.  Write it all down.  If you aren't already, try to do an hour-by-hour diary-  Write one/two sentences describing what you've done and then one/two descriptors of how you feel with an intensity of 1-10 next to it.  This will give your Dr a lot of information to work with.  Start today!  If you miss an hour or two, it's okay.  That way, they can see the progress you are/are not making and adjust as needed. Eg- > 8 a.m.- ""I made myself a smoothie with lots of healthy produce and drank 3/4 of it. I feel proud of myself (6) and productive (5)."" ",0.9817,positive,content
87,MentalHealthSupport,Starting fluoxetine,listener_1,3,Disregard everything I said.  I was definitely manic and now know I am bipolar hahahaha mental health is quite the journey.  *deep sigh*,0.1779,positive,ashamed
88,MentalHealthSupport,Why I can't always help...,speaker,1,"So, I need help from others regarding my friend who has Bipolar, anxiety, and depression. She has recently made the decision to ditch her meds and try to live life without them. It is totally here choice as to how she wants to live, but now there is a problem. A mutual friend and I have always tried to do our best to be there for her. She's having a bad day, we would talk with her or come see her to help improve her mood. She's having an argument with her roommates, we would come get her. Doesn't matter what the situation was, we would always do our best to help her.  Since she stopped taking her meds, she has been a bit out of control. Her bf went out of town for 3 weeks, and she got depressed. She then took the opportunity to do meth and coke while her boyfriend was out of town. While she is free to live her life how she wants to, this brings some negative repercussions. Her bf found out and now he feels like he can't trust her because she went behind his back and wasn't going to tell him. When we tried to explain to her how it effected her bf, she turned it around as if we were attacking her, when really we were just trying to help give her perspective on the situation and we were going to try and help her come up with a way to resolve the issue. At this point, she is posting on Facebook stuff along the lines of, ""I need new friends."" ""I want a different life."" ""Everybody stabs you in the back eventually."" Those kinds of posts are clear digs at us, but calling her out on it only causes her to deny it and then turn around and call us horrible people for being honest with her. We want to help her, but at this point, there is nothing we can do. The only help she can get is through herself, but she cannot accept fault.   So, my question is; How can we help her realize she is the only one who can help her? We are concerned, but we cannot do any more to help her without her misconstruing it as hate.",0.9876,positive,caring
88,MentalHealthSupport,Why I can't always help...,listener_1,2,I have written about this exact thing in my most recent blog. https://www.micheledowney.com/issues-with-medication-for-mental-health/,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
88,MentalHealthSupport,Why I can't always help...,speaker,3,I am unable to see what is beyond the link. I get a message saying I am not allowed to view drafts. ,0.0,neutral,annoyed
88,MentalHealthSupport,Why I can't always help...,speaker,4,Thank you. That helped me gain a slightly different perspective. ,0.7096,positive,neutral
89,MentalHealthSupport,Live One-on-One Support,speaker,1,"Hey!  I just found this subreddit - I hope everyone's having a relatively good day :).  My name is Brent - I used to suffer with a ton of anxiety and depression both. Whereas everybody goes about this differently, I personally took to mindfulness and spirituality as my method for healing. I worked with a ton of teachers and texts (and Youtube videos) and I can honestly say that I have come into *great* stability and peace.  At this point now, I feel centered and not like I'm constantly dying or waiting for death. My life has also stopped being just an endless rerun of shit after shit after shit. It's amazing! You know how people are always like ""just hold on, it gets better""? It really does!  What's important, I think, is having a strong understanding of mental illness and how it works. Because if you can recognize it in yourself so that you can *literally* discern between madness and insanity... then you are now in the process of becoming sane. I would recommend it 10 out of 10 for anyone.  So that brings me to the point of this post, which is I'd really like to offer my help for you here! I'm not certified or anything, I just feel strongly like I can be of service here. I'm offering to chat with you in a live one-on-one via Skype to show you what I've learned. Hopefully it helps! At the very least it will be nice just to talk about it with someone who's been there, right?  So hit me up if you're interested!  Thanks :).",0.9632,positive,content
89,MentalHealthSupport,Live One-on-One Support,listener_1,2,sounds like you'd be a great person to have join @getmarblesapp. www.livebeyondthelabel.com - free peer mental support,0.93,positive,acknowledging
89,MentalHealthSupport,Live One-on-One Support,speaker,3,"Hey, thanks for asking!  I'm not too sure about ADHD, I've worked with some people who've said they had it. I tend not to address it too much as a condition but just work toward helping the person become as still, as centered, and as focused as possible.  I work at a desk in my home apartment here in Toronto :).  I actually have written some small informative books! I could link you some if you'd like. Although lately I'm working more with video and audio recordings, somehow I feel like it's better if my audience  can hear me say these things aloud.  It's weird, but a couple people started reaching out to me when I had an old post on my website (brenthuras.com) where I was offering what I called ""Existential Counselling"" lol!. So I met with these people online for regular sessions, for free, and then I realized that I could do this for a living. And so lately I've been committed to turning this into my life's vocation. It's been very challenging, but I really enjoy the work and I see it working out in the long-term, so I stick with it :).  Is coaching something you've been interested in? May I assume that you have ADHD since you were asking about it?",0.9911,positive,proud
89,MentalHealthSupport,Live One-on-One Support,speaker,4,PM'd.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,speaker,1,"So, at this point in my life i can tell when im uh, kinda heading for a breakdown.  Unfortunately i feel one coming.  Ive worked extremely hard over the past 4 years to get to where i am professionally and i dont want to lose what i have.  My problem is my mental health is slipping and my job requires pretty much 100% of my attention so i dont mess up the multi million dollar electronics that i work on.  Im too scared, anxious, and depressed to even know where to start when it comes to revealing this to my employers, and the more time that passes the more i risk messing something important up.  I could really use some advice/support, like what steps do i take? I just cant thi nk straight right now and i have 2 more days before i have to be back...  Any advice is appreciated ",-0.4268,negative,apprehensive
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,listener_1,2,"I'd say the first step would be try finding a therapist to talk it, be it in person or online. Or maybe just a friend to talk to. But I understand how this process might be terrifying and uncomfortable. Medication and management would be the next step.  Breathe in 5 seconds, breathe out for 6. Sometimes breathing can ground you enough to feel a little more comfortable.   You might not be able to because of how demanding you describe your job, but devoting more time to yourself is always ideal!   Are there things you normally do to unwind? I'm also sorry you're going through this. It's so overwhelming.",0.6558,positive,suggesting
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,speaker,3,"Sorry, i just am terrified to tell my work.  I dont know how to go about it, i just ended therapy at the end of the year because of insurance.  I need to figure out how to tell work.  The reason i feel that way is because if i tell them now they may work with me, i think they might even offer free counseling.  I just dont know what to say, or how i can keep my composure.  ",-0.25,negative,apprehensive
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,speaker,4,"This seems like good advice.  When i get some energy ill start looking.  Yeah there are things i do to unwind but, i dunno what to say.  I just cant think right now.  Im talkimg to family and friends but i dont have much of a support system.  I have questions and things that i want to ask but i just cant think straight right now",0.8779,positive,lonely
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,listener_1,5,Like what questions? I can try and help.   It just seems like your overworked and stressed from your job which is really rough! It makes sense your thoughts all over the place. Are you anxious and feeling panicky?  ,0.4501,positive,questioning
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,listener_1,6,Is there anyone you're close with at work that you can tell?,0.0,neutral,questioning
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,speaker,7,"And yes, sorry.  My anxiety and depression are absolutely out of control.  Im coping mostly by drinking but its only making things worse",-0.7311,negative,ashamed
90,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health and work,speaker,8,"Not really.  Im thinking about sending an email to my boss who has always been kind to me, and just being honest about whats going on. Now that i think about it, i might be able to be put on mediacal leave for at least long enough to get on a medication and have it start taking effect.  Im scared though, for a lot of reasons.  I really want to make a change in my life, like BAD.  Ever since i moved away from home though it seems like my life has just been getting worse and worse.  I feel like i need someone to talk to and watch over me almost everyday...and im exausted.  Like, im at wits end here",0.4137,positive,apprehensive
91,MentalHealthSupport,I'm crying in a mall because a guy wouldn't let me pet his dog.,speaker,1,"So I'm visiting the USA with my family. My sister  who lives here, is having a baby, so the last week has been really good. Nothing bad happened.  Last night I got a mild flu, so I was buying some ibuprofen at CVS. When I got out there was this guy with a dog. I got close to pet him and at first the guy said nothing, then told me I couldn't pet him while laughing. I misunderstood and thought I could, and he said ""did you hear what I said? You cannot pet my dog""  I was clearly confused, so I apologised and continued to walk away. Suddenly I started to feel incredibly sad and anxious about it. I had to sit down and try not to cry but the more I think about it the worse it gets.  I'm still trying to calm down because my family is close by buying stuff but I don't want to say I'm crying over such a stupid thing! And I don't get it, everything was ok!  I AM depressive but I'm medicated and this is not a usual thing. The hell is going on???!!! ",-0.9749,negative,embarrassed
91,MentalHealthSupport,I'm crying in a mall because a guy wouldn't let me pet his dog.,listener_1,2,"Its ok! Chances are the dog is aggressive or really timid. I would have reacted the same way (really, nobody ever says “you cant per my dog”) and gone in for the pet. Still strange how they said it though",-0.4914,negative,trusting
91,MentalHealthSupport,I'm crying in a mall because a guy wouldn't let me pet his dog.,speaker,3,"I'm a dog owner and trainer, and I understand if there is any issue where the dog doesn't want to be pet and i fully respect it. I'm more worried with the fact that I'm breaking down to tears over this stupid thing!  The guy was not aggressive or anything, he was very polite. This is all my own mind deciding this was horrible enough to cry. Which is absurd. ",-0.877,negative,embarrassed
91,MentalHealthSupport,I'm crying in a mall because a guy wouldn't let me pet his dog.,listener_1,4,"Its probably not even that, just a symptom of your fragility or chemicals in your body. Are you feeling better?",0.5267,positive,questioning
91,MentalHealthSupport,I'm crying in a mall because a guy wouldn't let me pet his dog.,speaker,5,"I'm better, yes, thank you! ",0.8122,positive,grateful
92,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what’s wrong with me,speaker,1,"I have a great life, I have a job, I have an awesome flat. Everything is good. I have good friends and family. But I can’t help feeling like shit. I am dreading the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I don’t want to go outside. I just want to stay home and not do anything. I’ve lost motivation to do anything. I am still studying, and I failed everything this semester. I hate myself for it, but there’s nobody else to blame but me. I just did not study enough and knowingly failed everything. I feel like shit at work as it is.  As soon as something makes me feel good and proud, something very minor happens and I just lose it. I spent the last hour in tears and shaking. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just want it to be all over with. I don’t know how to help myself. And I don’t want to bother my family or friends, because I know they have their own problems. I don’t want to be a burden, because I know I can be a lot to handle. Everything just sucks and seems to go wrong.  I know my life could be much worse, I realize that. But I just can’t get rid of the shitty thoughts. They always find their way back into my mind. I really don’t know what to do. ",-0.9878,negative,sad
92,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what’s wrong with me,listener_1,2,"It sounds as if it could be depression. Don't take this as a diagnosis though, there are professionals for that, and it could be something different. How long have you been feeling like this? Can you recall any events that started around the same time as this shit feeling?  Also please try to tell your friends and/or family about it, anyone you can trust. Just like when for example you break your leg, would it make any sense to not bother any other people with it? Other people have problems too, but that doesn't mean that everyone should just solve all their own problems, sometimes it's just too hard or even impossible.  If your friends/family won't listen to you, talk to a professional psychologist (or just do that anyway because it can you help a lot). No one deserves to just live a life feeling like this for no reason.",0.4737,positive,questioning
92,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what’s wrong with me,speaker,3,"I had a bit of a rough patch in November, and it’s just gotten worse since then. I’ve never been the most motivated person in the world, but I don’t think I’ve ever reached such a low point.  I want to talk to a professional but I also live in a german speaking country, and my german knowledge is not amazing and I’m very anxious about dealing with that kind of thing and looking for someone, because I’m pretty sure it would be nearly impossible ",-0.0775,negative,apprehensive
92,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what’s wrong with me,listener_1,4,Would it be an option to talk to them in English? I assume most Germans speak at least somewhat decent English. Do your friends and family also live there?,0.5362,positive,questioning
93,MentalHealthSupport,How do you deal with negative feelings and emotions,speaker,1,"Correction: How do you deal with negative THOUGHTS and emotions?  Hi guys! Just a little background about myself. We are 4 children in the family. My eldest brother is schizophrenic, my 2nd eldest sister has Psychosis. I am the 3rd. Me and our youngest sister are undiagnosed.   Recently, my mom was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 Disorder while my dad is undiagnosed. Basically mental disorder runs in the family (even my uncle in the father's side is Schizophrenic)  Because of the intensity of my mom's illness which affected me, there came a point in time where I don't care about my emotions anymore and I just deny my feelings.  But now that I learned what Psychology says about emotions, it's like I'm more aware of my feelings and everything. ... I want to ask you guys, How do you deal with negative thoughts and emotions? Thank you in advance.         ",-0.8159,negative,devastated
93,MentalHealthSupport,How do you deal with negative feelings and emotions,listener_1,2,"How old are you?  Do you still live with your parents?  For me what has worked best is not approaching unpleasant emotions as something I have to deal with, but instead something that are a part of life which I should expect to experience but also be prepared to minimize the negative impact they have on my life.  The first step is getting good at recognizing and naming your feelings, as many people who grow up in environments where other family members monopolize that sphere often struggle to recognize and name their own emotion states.  The [feeling wheel](http://type-a-lifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/650_Feelings-Wheel-Color_11.jpg) is a reference.      ",0.1248,positive,questioning
93,MentalHealthSupport,How do you deal with negative feelings and emotions,speaker,3,"I'm 24 turning 25. Yup I'm, still with them, I know I'll still be obliged to live with them somehow because my mentally ill siblings (and mother) Also because my parents are getting old.  Thank you so much for your response. I would check out that feeling wheel. Have a good one!",0.5255,positive,grateful
94,MentalHealthSupport,Hoping for help to get me though this,speaker,1,"I'm currently a grade 11 high school student. I just got my report card and 2 important grades dropped. My parents are really strict when it comes to my marks. I got three As and a B on my last report card and they where mad. My mom yelled at me asking why I'm not like the kids who got 90 averages and gave me dirty looks for a couple of days. My Dad didn't talk to at all for three days straight. My parents took away my computer and put restrictions on the internet. They are expecting me to go into the sciences and go to medical school but I want to be an engineer, but they don't seem to care about what I want to do. I've had 2 breakdowns after these events. I've become more unhappy daily and it effected my marks a lot. I don't know what I should do concerning this report card I just got. I feel like I'm becoming a disappointment for my parents.",-0.8919,negative,furious
94,MentalHealthSupport,Hoping for help to get me though this,listener_1,2,"try downloading Marbles...www.livebeyondthelabel.com, free peer to peer support ",0.7184,positive,trusting
94,MentalHealthSupport,Hoping for help to get me though this,listener_2,3,Banned.,-0.4588,negative,disgusted
95,MentalHealthSupport,Can a day be a trigger?,speaker,1,"Valentines, July 4, MLK day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Winter Solstice? Also lesser known days that are not celebrated in the USA ",-0.4585,negative,nostalgic
95,MentalHealthSupport,Can a day be a trigger?,listener_1,2,Circunstances are always triggers. Days are just Circunstances. ,0.0,neutral,sad
95,MentalHealthSupport,Can a day be a trigger?,speaker,3,Thx ,0.3612,positive,wishing
96,MentalHealthSupport,Has diet change helped you manage your mental health? Any tips for managing food apathy (medication side effect or other)?,speaker,1,"TLDR: Food tastes gross/bland and that makes eating hard and I want to love food again.  I used to be really into health and fitness and it did wonders for managing what I thought at the time was my depression. Tons of energy, confidence, ability to process things rationally.   Last year I was diagnosed with some other things as a result of a fairly dark depressive spell. Stopped eating, no energy, just wrecked. I'm finally getting he hang of managing it but I've noticed that nothing sounds good to eat. Even the things I used to love sound ""meh"" and eating just feels like a HUGE chore. I know I need to eat, and I do my best to make sure I'm fed and have the fuel I need (my lack of eating is not BDD/ED related).   I don't crave anything, my taste buds I feel aren't super great (even with seasoning, but I also want to limit sauces/salts/processed flavor givers for sodium reasons), and if I do eat something and the mood catches me wrong or I overthink something I can't finish it and have to throw it all away because that's all I can think about (""was that crunch an eggshell?"", ""there is a slimy piece of lettuce in here"", ""I saw a bug in my raspberry"", ""there was a crunch that shouldn't be there"", ""a flake of whatever is dried on the rim fell in when I was opening a lid"") which is stressful financially and emotionally haha. I know it's irrational even as I throw stuff away but it makes me anxious (I found a ladybug inside my raspberries and now I can't eat them without thinking there are raspberries in ALL of them even though there is not haha).   My only dietary restriction is I'm gluten free, but I only  notice much because I don't get the substitutes (corn tortillas are better than flour IMO, and GF donuts will never be the same as real ones so why bother).   I already limit caffeine due to an unregulated sleep cycle, don't drink soda/pop, and have been getting back in to ""working out"" though it's frustrating because I'm nowhere where I used to be and have to remind myself that slow and steady I can get there.  I miss enjoying food and miss having energy, and I've read than a good diet can make a lot of difference in managing or having the ability to manage symptoms.   Thank you!",0.9411,positive,devastated
96,MentalHealthSupport,Has diet change helped you manage your mental health? Any tips for managing food apathy (medication side effect or other)?,listener_1,2,"I discovered one of the things that really affected my depression was protein. I wasn't getting enough and that can lead to depression. I started drinking whey protein and it fills me with energy. It's not a food supplement but it might help your mood, and that might help with the eating part.  I'm a very unhealthy eater, so I've never had that problem, sorry I can't help any more than that ",-0.4798,negative,sympathizing
96,MentalHealthSupport,Has diet change helped you manage your mental health? Any tips for managing food apathy (medication side effect or other)?,speaker,3,"Oh yah, I'm by no means a foodie but I meant that in the sense that all food sounds and tastes gross now. I don't have favorites, nothing ever sounds good when I used to enjoy certain foods and at least didn't feel like it was a chore to eat.   My mom has Hashimoto's and just started a diet for it, lots of stuff to give up there! Hope your sister is handling it well! (And you too with low carb, I'm glad to hear it seems to be helping, that's encouraging)",0.8824,positive,encouraging
97,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to feel at peace.,speaker,1,I feel like I'm living in a prison in my own home. My husband thinks I'm paranoid. His family surrounds us. I have no where to go to be alone and just think. I can't even enjoy my own flowers in my own backyard without feeling like I'm being watched by them. Its a horrible feeling. Why does everyone think I'm crazy. I have valid reasons to feel the way I do. ,-0.9383,negative,lonely
97,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to feel at peace.,listener_1,2,I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Have you expressed how you're feeling to your husband? Everybody needs alone time,-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
97,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to feel at peace.,listener_2,3,"My therapist had me do a an exercise called ""Houses"".  I had to write down all the places that I have lived and what emotions I felt under those roofs.  It took months.  Long story short.  I was never by myself, growing up.  There was always someone sitting next to me and that bothers me to this day.  I never really thought about it.",-0.3222,negative,lonely
98,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling guilty about not going into work because of my poor mental health,speaker,1,"Just when I thought things couldn't get worse yesterday I was bombarded with even more bullsh$t that has caused me tremendous stress. I work two jobs and tonight I am not going in to one of them. I feel like I can't even get up off of the floor. I contacted the GM who told me to contact the other managers and I told them what was going on and they didn't care. I didn't technically ""call off"" but I'm not going in. And now I feel guilty because I know how stressful it can be when somebody calls off and the rest of us have to pick up the other persons work. I also feel bad because it will probably be considered a ""no call no show"" and I'm sure I'll be given sh$t about it tomorrow when I go in. I was told by the owner that I should work over time this week to try and make enough money to pay him back and with me not going in tonight I'm not going to get overtime. I am really considering quitting one job and trying to get social security or something because my mental health is rapidly deteriorating and I cannot keep working 70 hours weekly. Can somebody please tell me why I should not feel guilty for not going in?",-0.7674,negative,angry
98,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling guilty about not going into work because of my poor mental health,listener_1,2,"I was raised Catholic, and so I have to remind myself of this all the freaking time: never feel guilty for any reason, ever. Guilt is not a productive emotion. If you feel it, feel it, use it to do something. Schedule an appointment with either your doctor or a psychologist or counselor or whomever. I know it will be hard to find the time with both of your jobs, but this is important because you're stressin. I have been in your position so many times before, so it's hitting close to home. I hope you feel better soon.",0.8367,positive,faithful
98,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling guilty about not going into work because of my poor mental health,speaker,3,Thank you. I was raised Catholic as well. I definitely agree that it’s not productive at all. Thanks again for replying ❤️,0.8934,positive,agreeing
98,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling guilty about not going into work because of my poor mental health,speaker,4,"Thank you so much, this is tremendously helpful. ",0.6801,positive,acknowledging
98,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling guilty about not going into work because of my poor mental health,listener_2,5,":), really good to hear. I’d be happy to help even more if you need someone to talk to!",0.8716,positive,acknowledging
99,MentalHealthSupport,I need an advice with this fear of mine. Please enlighten me.,speaker,1,"Since last year, I have developed a fear of going crazy. I’m a hypochondriac and I suffered from Anxiety/Panic Attack and Depression. I’ve been on medication Morcet for about 6mos and it when well until I quit taking it for a month. Now I can feel my anxiety is back again and I am fearing that if I go back to taking morcet it wont work anymore.   Also I have this huge fear of going crazy, like recently I’ve been to much paranoid when it comes to hearing sounds. I am afraid I might be experiencing auditory hallucinations etc. I can’t sleep because I worried about developing schizophrenia. Am I the only one like this? I don’t want to go crazy ",-0.9689,negative,afraid
99,MentalHealthSupport,I need an advice with this fear of mine. Please enlighten me.,listener_1,2,Anybody else in the family with similar issues?  Channeling my therapist here.,0.0,neutral,questioning
99,MentalHealthSupport,I need an advice with this fear of mine. Please enlighten me.,speaker,3,"Actually, my cousin was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and upon hearing that I am become much more worried about developing one. I am highly sensitive with sounds and my thoughts. I panic when I hear small sounds, asking myself am I the only one hearing that. Sometimes when I am about to fall asleep that’s when I get most of my loud intrusive thoughts. It make me feel so scared thinking I might be developing schizophrenia or psychosis, or the likes of it. I don’t know to end up like that. ",-0.6409999999999999,negative,terrified
100,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel horrible, can someone please give me some advice",speaker,1,"I feel horrible. I feel absolutely awful. I feel like there is a tulpa controlling my almost every move and it may just be delusion but I'm scared. I have generalized anxiety disorder, HOCD, and TOCD. I just really need some help. I have a psychologist but she's not helping 100%. Anyone willing to offer some support or advice?",-0.7125,negative,terrified
100,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel horrible, can someone please give me some advice",listener_1,2,I had to look up what a tulpa is. Seems that's a very clear sign of paranoia. Do you feel physically awful as well as paranoia//anxiety? Also are you on any meds and or seeking therapy?,-0.0943,negative,questioning
100,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel horrible, can someone please give me some advice",speaker,3,I am on anxiety meds and I currently am going through cognitive behavioral therapy.,-0.1779,negative,afraid
101,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like complete garbage.,speaker,1,"I’m hoping someone can help. I can’t keep living like this any longer. My biggest complaint that I can’t seem to fix or change is loss of memory, insane brain fog, and complete energy depletion. I can’t talk to my family or friends about it without them telling me to go to the gym. Which I’ve been doing now for 6 weeks straight, three times a week. I have a dog who I take on daily walks. I’ve been Eating healthy and taking vitamins, supplements, and anything that the internet has told me to take. The gym does make me feel better (sometimes) but not completely. I wake up after a long nights sleep and I don’t have the energy to get up. I have been feeling this way for years, and now it has been giving me a severe sense of social anxiety, because I am not myself. Not my quick, witty, fun loving self. I can’t think, I’m like a shell of a person. And now I called off work because It is an extraordinarily bad day and I’m stuck in bed.  I have been on many types of drugs for anxiety and depression. I’ve seen nutritional doctors, homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncture, changed my diet, given up drinking, ANYTHING and everything people tell me to do. Looking for any type of advice. I’ll try anything once. ",0.7906,positive,trusting
101,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like complete garbage.,listener_1,2,"There are a lot of actual physical illnesses that can cause this.  See a good doc (ask around, google  reviews, find one who will listen and is open minded).  You may have an autoimmune disease.  I felt exactly as you do for years before I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s.   Good luck.  ",0.6808,positive,agreeing
101,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like complete garbage.,listener_1,3,"PS: Another option,... look up AIP (Autoimmune Protocol).  It is a diet that works for a lot of people with autoimmune issues.   They have very helpful groups on FB for this protocol.  You may have a food intolerance(s).   This can help determine what it is.",0.6997,positive,suggesting
102,MentalHealthSupport,Is this a panic attack?,speaker,1,"Right now I'm going to a friend's house to celebrate their birthday. I'm on the bus and I am having this huge anxiety and anguish over going there. A storm is coming and that doesn't bother me, because I love storms but I love to hear them at home. I started getting very paranoid, what if my gut feeling is right? What if something happens at home while I'm not there? My pets are there alone.  I am having this strong urge to go back home, I'm nervous that something might go wrong. I know my gut feeling is usually right.  My stomach feels 3 times smaller and shining, I have the feeling of a ball in my throat and I'm very nervous.  What is this? ",0.7231,positive,apprehensive
102,MentalHealthSupport,Is this a panic attack?,listener_1,2,"It could definitely be an anxiety attack. It's okay, it's normal and you will be okay. You could have just been overwhelmed. A couple things to ask yourself, Does this happen often? Has it recently started since an event happened or more stress being added on? Is it negatively impacting your life? Is it something you feel you can control?  Sometimes what happens is that people get overwhelmed. Here's an analogy that my counsellor told me after she diagnosed me with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Think of it as a cup, a cup full of your responsibilities and emotions. Once it starts to overfill, so does that internal sense of control in your mind,it starts to go spill thus creating anxiety and panic attacks. Doesn't mean it has to be related to the situation it started at, however it could mean that you aren't taking sips from your cup (working on your stressors). ",-0.9639,negative,agreeing
102,MentalHealthSupport,Is this a panic attack?,speaker,3,"I was fine after I got off the bus, thanks! I'll still go home early. I don't get them too often now, but I used to. People would easel y discard me because it wasn't a panic attack, so I guess I brushed it off?? ",0.8332,positive,content
102,MentalHealthSupport,Is this a panic attack?,listener_1,4,Just monitor them and whats going on in your life during them :) keeping an eye on it can help you determine if there's a common factor. ,0.6908,positive,acknowledging
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,speaker,1,"Hello!   I am 40 y/o. I am 5’9"" tall, and I weighed 160lbs 90 days ago when I began going to the doctor because I began losing my appetite, and when I did eat (even if only a bite or two) it felt like a bag of rocks in my stomach, regardless if it was a single grape or a bite of steak. Everything hurt to eat, but I could still keep down liquids. I also couldn’t sleep but 3-5 hours without waking up with a migraine and a weak, empty, dying feeling worse than any hangover.  One doc took 6 viles of blood, causing me to faint since I didn’t have anything in my stomach, and I genuinely believed I was gonna die! It took me over an hour afterwards to feel ""normal sick"" again and get released from the dr office. Blood results showed no abnormalities except low vitamin d and, as that dr put it, ""something strange with my pancreas, but probably nothing to worry about. One doctor shrinks I have lupus, another thinks he can’t find the tapeworms eating me from the inside out, one thinks I should run a screen for diabetes. One says likely parasites, but they don’t ever actually find anything or seem to really understand the severity of the issue.  I’ve seen multiple doctors at several different practices and only the very last doctor (my wife’s doctor) has made any progress, which is strange because instead of physical, she decided to try treating me for depression. She thinks that because I work 50+ hours a week (at a desk, working in telecom), and then full time parent outside of work while the wife goes to school and works full-time, and because I’ve lost so much sleep and nutrition in the last 90 days that it’s likely I’m suffering from Major Depressive Disorder, which is likely making it more difficult for me to ré-energize, sleep, and eat.  She prescribed me the smallest dose of Zoloft, and my mood has almost completely flipped. I have actually been experiencing moments of euphoria throughout each day, which hasn’t happened in over 2 years. The only problem is... I still can’t eat! AND... my appetite is even worse on the meds, but I don’t want to stop them and go back to starving and being depressed.  Is there anything I can say to my doctors to get them to keep me in their office while they run a full body scan or something?! Is there some kind of ""check everything, everywhere"" kind of test? I’m not depressed anymore, but I’m under 130lbs today, which means I’ve lost over 10lbs per month for three months. I’m scared.  I have zero allergies. Not even heart disease runs in my family. Grandma & Grandpa are both in their 90s and better put together than I am. My mom is 60-something and healthy as they come. My son never had an issue, nor did my only sibling, my brother, who is approximately 41. We have been a healthy family. I have no idea where this is all coming from. I ate healthy when I could, quit smoking years ago, exercised... I’m stumped.  Does anyone have ANY ideas? I have a great wife who just made me a dad for the second time about a year and a half ago, and I’ll be a grandpa in 2 weeks or so. I’d settle for just one more year with them! I will try anything!  Thank you all in advance for your support! ",-0.9906,negative,ashamed
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,speaker,2,"Also, should I be open to getting off of the meds, even if it means I may end up back in a major state of depression?",-0.6077,negative,apprehensive
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,listener_1,3,"No, Consult your physician.",0.0,neutral,agreeing
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,speaker,4,"Ensure enough, he didn’t die! Lol  Had to.   Thank you! I’ll try that and see if helps, at least until I know what’s going on.",0.7339,positive,neutral
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,speaker,5,Roger that! Thanks!,0.5399,positive,acknowledging
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,speaker,6,I sensed the changed approximately 4-5 months ago and it's just gotten progressively worse.,-0.4767,negative,sad
103,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to starve to death soon...,listener_2,7,"Did anything else happen around that time? Job wise, fitness, stopped doing something, anything?",0.5661,positive,questioning
104,MentalHealthSupport,Help me?,speaker,1,"I’ve been dealing with mental health issues most of my life.  Got abused and molested as a child by my step father, abused and picked on in school, and as a young adult sustained several severe head injuries very close together, on top of dealing with my new born daughter passing away at the same time as the TBI’s.  I’ve formed horrible coping mechanisms, put up walls, and can’t seem to control my actions or words anymore.  Definitely in a crisis at the moment.  As a result, I have ruined my current relationship due to lying and being deceitful out of fear and habit, and have turned into a total & complete piece of shit.  I genuinely don’t want to be this way and desperately want to find a way to get a fucking grip on my life again before I completely chase off the man I love and ruin my life anymore.   I’m in therapy but they will only see me every 2 weeks and I really don’t feel like it’s doing much to help my situation.  I don’t know what to do? I’ve asked for help from my SO and my therapist as desperately as I know how to but nothing seems to work....  I need help.... Any advice?",-0.7153,negative,ashamed
104,MentalHealthSupport,Help me?,listener_1,2,"Hospitalize yourself. Spend some time getting yourself together in a safe environment with 24/7 care. When in crisis, every two weeks is not enough. Sometimes med adjustments can help but you need supervision. Please go to the hospital!",0.68,positive,prepared
104,MentalHealthSupport,Help me?,speaker,3,I haven’t been on meds in years... I tried to schedule and appointment with my PCP for help with that but the earliest is like a month from now.... yay for the VA... I need help and everywhere I turn it’s like a wall of indifference....,0.9451,positive,disappointed
105,MentalHealthSupport,Unknown reasons of mental cloudiness and heavy nostalgia like feelings,speaker,1,I’m an 15 year old male that has been experiencing long episodes of mental cloudiness since birth. When I get sick or have an infection I experience mental cloudiness. Sometimes I can have long episodes of mental cloudiness that persists throughout the year not allowing me to focus or concentrate on school. My short term memory is non existent and I feel like I’m trapped in a dome of surreal-ness with heavy negative nostalgia like feelings. I’ve had breaks from the surreal feelings the mental cloudiness has presented me with but it doesn’t last very long. Sometimes I do not have enough mental consciousness to experience life. Life is going by so quickly and I fear that I won’t be able to live life before it ends. Please help.,-0.25,negative,nostalgic
105,MentalHealthSupport,Unknown reasons of mental cloudiness and heavy nostalgia like feelings,listener_1,2,"Well we don't diagnose here but I would encourage you to look into depersonalization, derealization or dissociation as these sound sort of analagous to what you are describing.    Please remember when reading internet links about these experiences that they are usually not clinically precise and it's easy to mis-self-diagnose.  Nonetheless it might be a good starting point.   Mindfulness meditation can be a big help for people who struggle with detachment.  ",0.9535,positive,suggesting
105,MentalHealthSupport,Unknown reasons of mental cloudiness and heavy nostalgia like feelings,speaker,3,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,speaker,1,"First time posting, ever, so apologies for format etc. I'm on my phone also.      So, a bit of background, I've been diabetic for 15 years and have had an undiagnosed stomach problem for 2.5 years which has lead to me losing over 8 stone and am now malnourished and dehydrated constantly. This is relevant, I promise.      I'm currently in hospital as due to my poor immune system from the above illnesses mentioned, I went for a nuclear scan and had the one in a million chance of it causing an infection. After 3 weeks of agony and not being able to move my neck at all, my neck had swollen twice the size, I went to A&E and had emergency surgery to remove a 5 inch deep abscess. My recovery is taking longer than doctors thought, again, due to previously mentioned illnesses and my immune system sucking. But that's not the problem or why I need help.      Another thing that's affecting my recovery is my mental health. See, because of my stomach issues, I don't leave the house. When I do, it's for a couple hours maximum and even then it's mostly to go to doctors appointments. Being away from home for over a week, in a place full of strangers, not being comfortable and unable to see my puppy (who is basically a support dog for me) is making my mental health...Well, awful. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for 8 years now and this is my first admission into adult hospital ever. (I'm 20 and the childrens hospital clung onto me for dear life whenever I was admitted due to them dealing with my diabetes since I was 5. They're an amazing team, have always been amazing with me but had to transfer me to adults due to my age. I dearly miss them.)      My anxiety is greatly due to the fact the first night I was here, the doctors took me off my insulin during the operation and put me on an IV to better control my sugar levels. I ended up having severe hypos (low blood sugar) through the night and the nurses didn't wake me. Even back on my own insulin, the antibiotics and painkillers messed with my diabetes and every single night I've had hypos. Most nights, the nurses don't check my sugar levels while I'm asleep and so I haven't been sleeping as if I hypo whilst asleep and I don't wake in time to fix it, I can go into a sugar coma. I've had one before and it is the most traumatic experience of my life and due to this, any and all hypos cause ptsd for me and bad anxiety attacks to the point I can't breathe and pass out sometimes. It's awful.      The hospital knows this. Every night I have to repeatedly remind the nurses that if I'm asleep PLEASE do my sugars and wake me up if they're below a certain number. The hospital also decided to move me from the ward I need to be on at 11pm, causing me to have a complete meltdown and my mum ended up needing to come up to help me move wards due to how out of control I was. I was literally sobbing, begging them not to move me because I had a night nurse that I knew would wake me and I finally felt comfortable enough to try to sleep that night. I haven't slept more than an hour a night since I've been in.      Every day they promise they'll discharge me tomorrow, then tomorrow comes and they say the same. I'm losing my mind, I want to die at this point because my anxiety and depression are so bad. I miss my dog and I miss my home. I live close enough to the hospital that I can come in every day for them to check my neck but they refuse to let me go home and come in as outpatient, despite it being so traumatizing me being here.      I also hear voices constantly. This has been an issue for years but they're at their worst right now. It's constant. I had to cancel a therapy appointment that's taken 6 months to get because I was in here. The hospital know about all my mental health issues yet continue to promise me they'll let me go then refusing to.      I'm honestly so lost for what to do. I spend all day crying and waiting for doctors to tell me yet again I'll have to be here another day. I just feel so alone. I can't talk to anyone, the people I'm on the ward with are awful. The only people helping are the nurses but even they can't do anything and the doctors have all the power but won't listen to them. One nurse even spent an hour trying to calm me down a few nights ago as I had an anxiety attack at 3am and she called the doctors for me to try to get them to discharge me.      I can't discharge myself because they won't give me my antibiotics if I do and I need them to heal. I can't heal in here with the strain on my mental health added on top of my other illnesses. The constant anxiety is delaying any sort of healing I could do in here and they won't listen to me.      I don't know what the point of this post is, I think I'm just hoping I can at least talk to someone who understands how much mental health plays into recovering. All I want is to talk to someone, I guess. I feel so alone right now.      I'm sorry this is so long. I'd do a TL;DR but I don't know how to even begin to summarise my ramblings. Any help, advice on how to cope, etc would be really appreciated. Hell, even just a joke or pet pics would do. I'd add a dog tax but I don't know how to add images so sorry. If I figure out how to, I'll try in the comments.      Thank you for listening if you've made it this far. ",-0.9955,negative,embarrassed
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,listener_1,2,"That sounds horrible! I'd bet they're keeping you there to *make sure* you're getting better, but I agree the mental destruction it's all causing is mostly negating any treatments they're administering.   Do you have coping techniques to help you disengage from stress? Even shitty ones can help with the minute-to-minute ""just have to get through this"" times. If not, it sounds like this is as good a time as any to experiment - acknowledging thoughts and visualizing crumpling them up, counting breaths, checking in with every possible body part - try whatever and let us know what works! Also, can your mom come by more often, even if just to offer a distraction while she's there? I'm hoping if the doctors see you get closer to your regular baseline, they'll let you leave and maybe just come in once a week for tests or whatever. In that case, anything would be useful.  Sorry you're stuck there, and it's all so much harder for you than it should be. We're all there with you, though! ",-0.4768,negative,acknowledging
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,speaker,3,"See, that's the problem. All my coping mechanisms are thing I really can't do in here. I know ways to deal with my anxiety but when it's constantly being put to the test, they stop working. My mum has been amazing but she can't cope up any more than she has. She's been here most days, before and past visiting hours without complaint, but she's got things she needs to do. It sucks but I feel bad asking her to do more when she's been missing out on sleep trying to sort me and her day to day life out at the same time.      I know they're only keeping me in for my benefit but it's got to the point that's there's nothing they can do except wait. I'm happy to come in for check ups every day if I need to but being here constantly is the issue. I got day leave yesterday for 3 hours and spent an hour of it sobbing because I didn't want to go back there and my puppy was asleep on my lap to make sure I didn't leave :(",0.6162,positive,disappointed
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,speaker,4,"We've ruled out all gastro problems. It's linked to gyno issues they think. Thank you for the suggestion though! I hadn't heard of it but they've ran every test they can stomach wise and that's not the issue, they think it's linked to a bad coil insertion.      Thank you for your help. ",0.75,positive,grateful
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,listener_2,5,Oh my. I do hope they find the cause and resolve it.  I’m not diabetic but have gastro paresis. The only way to determine definitely is to scan isotope laden food being digested over the course of several hours.  I have had many gastro problems over the years but this appeared suddenly last fall.   Good luck with your anxiety issues. Pain and health issues can wear over time and even develop into PTSD type symptoms. Take care and I hope get well soon.  ,0.9423,positive,hopeful
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,speaker,6,I will mention it to the doctors when I see them and see if they can look into it. Never hurts to do more tests.      Thank you so much for your kind words. Just writing this post felt therapeutic and thankfully doctors have finally said I can go home for nights as I can't see specialists for a week!! Which is amazing news and I can see my puppy again. Just have to come back daily for check ups :) ,0.9579,positive,grateful
106,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling and need some help,listener_2,7,You are most welcome. Great news about going home for nights!!  A puppy is therapeutic so very good news. ,0.914,positive,joyful
107,MentalHealthSupport,Supporting my friend,speaker,1,"Any advice welcome:  My best friend is currently in a psych ward on suicide watch for the third time in a year and I'm running out of ideas as to how to keep her alive.  We're both 23 yr old women and have been friends for years, and both of us have been dealing with severe mental health problems for all the time that we've been friends, which both got much worse after our good friend committed suicide 6 years ago.   We've always supported each other through various dips and we've both been very ill for a lot of our friendship, and we generally both have dips and troughs in our health, but over the past year she's been spiralling downwards and keeps attempting suicide. She particularly recently has been talking about our late friend, which happens when she   I'm trying as hard as I can to keep her motivated to get better, and offering an ear whenever I can, but I know that she needs a lot more support but I just don't know what.  How do you keep someone alive when they are determined not to be?",0.9568,positive,caring
107,MentalHealthSupport,Supporting my friend,listener_1,2,"Honestly, you can't. You can be supportive and caring, but you don't have any control over someone carrying out suicide.   My mother was very mentally ill during my childhood/teens and would threaten suicide a lot when I wasn't acting the way she wanted. She was hospitalized numerous times. I began to get resentful for feeling this tremendous burden of keeping her alive. A wise therapist told me simply that I couldn't keep her alive. That if she acted on her threats/impulses it would not be my fault, nor should I feel responsible for trying to make sure she stayed alive. Everything was in her control and I was a passenger along for the ride because there was no way I could grab the steering wheel to control things.  Also, if you have your own mental health issues this could be an immensly triggering and exhausting friendship. I'm not saying you shouldn't be there for her, but I think she's more than you can deal with and while you can be there for her as much as you can, she needs to be in the hands of a professional.  I know too well how it feels. Be well.",-0.8420000000000001,negative,sad
107,MentalHealthSupport,Supporting my friend,listener_2,3,"> A wise therapist told me simply that I couldn't keep her alive. That if she acted on her threats/impulses it would not be my fault, nor should I feel responsible for trying to make sure she stayed alive.   My therapist says the same thing.  Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.  You can't be responsible for the actions of others, no matter how bad that makes you feel.  ",0.5911,positive,trusting
107,MentalHealthSupport,Supporting my friend,speaker,4,"Thank you, I appreciate the support <3",0.7845,positive,grateful
108,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I’m asking for advice too much,speaker,1,"I think that I’ve reached the point at which I can’t take advice anymore because I may have gotten used to it or even tired of it. I want to make a difference in my thinking habits but nothing is working currently, and it makes me feel pretty annoying like I’m wasting peoples’ time as well as my own. So I’m wondering if I should keep asking for advice?",0.3612,positive,apprehensive
108,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I’m asking for advice too much,listener_1,2,"I personally do not ask for advice because no matter how much they claim to understand, people have absolutely no idea what I am going through hence they say the wrong thongs or give unhelpful advice. And when I don’t follow their advice, they take it personal and get upset. ",-0.8056,negative,trusting
108,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I’m asking for advice too much,speaker,3,"I’m sorry that happens to you, and I think that you need to find the right kind of people, you’re right in that it’s difficult to find people to trust but but those people are out there. I hope my post didn’t come off as too pretentious or anything.",0.6249,positive,sympathizing
108,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I’m asking for advice too much,speaker,4,What does that stand for?,0.0,neutral,questioning
108,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I’m asking for advice too much,listener_1,5,"No, I appreciate it. It gives me hope. ",0.6808,positive,grateful
109,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have serious intelligance loss in almost last 1 year,speaker,1,"This can take a while but please read it to the end. If any of you has/had same experience, please tell me how you overcome this situation and for those who is expert on those things I am open to listen any advice you give me.  I am a collage student with ambitions and goals. I can say that I was one of the best students in the university  till few months ago. Previous summer I have decided to take summer program in my school to graduate sooner than expected. And this is when my problem starts. I wasn't able to concentrate classes so well, then a few weeks later I started feel some kind of pressure  in my head and my concentration  got worse. But still I didn't see any doctor but one day I was trying to study one of my exams but It was impossible to concentrate . I felt like an army is walking on my head and It lasts for a few week. Then I saw a doctor, and he made me get some tests and they all were clear. He said that I have a tension type/based headache and  but no sign of depression. He gave me some anti-depression pills and told that I need to take a small dose. I exactly did what he said. It really didn’t any help. After that I started to sleep a lot and felt like sleepy all day long. Even though I slept less or more It has no change. I feel like sleepy and tired all day long. Sometimes I fall asleep in classes. It also effect my lessons. So this time I decided to see psychiatrist. She listened me and gave me an another pill I used them more than one month and when the box is over I saw her again and told her “nothing has changed”. This time she gave me double dosage. Now I have been using new dosage for 3 months and I feel a little bit better. I still sleep a lot, I still feel so tired and sleepy, my concentration is still not good but my headache is a little bit less.  But I still have the problem. I am not like I was used to be. I was a fast learner, hard worker and a student with high marks. Now even though I still try to study, It’s not efficient, sometimes I push myself so much to study and I feel like my heartbeats gets faster because of this. I really feel like my intelligence got worse. I used to understand things quickly, when a teacher asks a question during the class most of time I used to be the one who answers even though the question is tricky, now  I am not able to answer any of these. And I really can’t catch any tricky points on questions. For example in exams there are some questions with some critical points to catch, I can’t catch any of them. A year and half ago It was a piece of cake for me but now I couldn’t even realize those hints on questions. Today I studied on a subject, I solved questions about it, then I went out and taught a friend about it, She was having problems about understanding it I had to explain same thing over and over again so I should have been learnt the subject more than ever but guess what happened. When I am back to home, someone sends me a question  about the subject I learn and taught over and over again and I had really troubles to solve it because I couldn’t realize some basic and simple things on question.   I am really sorry if It took too much but I was really fast learner and sharp student now I feel like I have some serious intelligence loss. I really miss my hard worker, fast learner and sharp self. Please if any of you can help, I am so open for advices. For those who are experts, The medicine I have been using is Cipralex. And last of all, I am sorry about my English if I am so difficult to understand. Even my English can be rusted in this period of time.",-0.8313,negative,hopeful
109,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have serious intelligance loss in almost last 1 year,listener_1,2,"Hey there, I went through that exact feeling this past year as well. I feel like I am just now recovering(but very slowly). It was really really bad. I don’t want to get into too much detail about myself, so I’ll try to be brief.  I couldn’t study, couldn’t concentrate, would tune out during conversations, misplace everything, forget work schedules and appts, and my English was horrible. I used to read a lot so my vocabulary was decent, but then it was all gone. I couldn’t express my thoughts the way I use to, it felt like someone had deleted all of it, I just knew the basic words.  I have been taking bupropion for the last 4 months(low dose), it’s an antidepressant and to help concentrate. I recently got prescribed another med to help me sleep (thought I am just like you, always sleepy! I regularly sleep 10-12 hours everyday! The problem is falling asleep, it can take 2-5 hours) and relive my anxiety (cause it happens most at night)   So why all this? Well (I just did a post about this on this page), I was diagnosed with ptsd, so that triggered all of this.   So maybe something triggered you? It can happen subconsciously. Did someone new come into your life? Or leave? Something changed? Or didn’t change? I’m sure something triggered what you’re feeling because you were fine before. Hope you get to figure this out. ",0.9619,positive,embarrassed
109,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have serious intelligance loss in almost last 1 year,speaker,3,Thank you maybe I should see a doc again and express myself more?,0.3612,positive,suggesting
110,MentalHealthSupport,I know this post is loser-ish but what is your opinion on this?,speaker,1,"I get overlooked and ignored by the opposite sex, having had really hurtful things said to me before without even really communicating with them, and so as part of building my wall up I have gotten slightly more attached to my original characters in video games.  Only to be treated the exact same way in the game. I know it’s just a game but I honestly feel quite terrible.   Please no rude comments.",0.612,positive,ashamed
110,MentalHealthSupport,I know this post is loser-ish but what is your opinion on this?,listener_1,2,"Do you consider yourself a loser? If you do, that might be part of the reason why you're having a hard time making meaningful connections with people. What would it mean for you, by your own personal metrics and ideals, to live life as a ""winner?"" Every day is an opportunity to practice being a winner version of yourself one minute at a time. Let go of what's no longer serving you and pick up new habits, behaviors, and interests that make your soul sing. Embrace what's holding you back as the knowledge that will help you overcome any obstacles.",0.9054,positive,proud
110,MentalHealthSupport,I know this post is loser-ish but what is your opinion on this?,speaker,3,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
110,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_2,1,"To be very short In the summary of my life, my mother left me, my dad is abusive, my dads girlfriend is abusive, My whole family has degraded and called me a worthless piece of shit that shouldn’t exist, my dad has threatened to murder me.  During times of depression I feel the following: Nothing matters anymore I’m a piece of shit I don’t deserve anything I feel fog headed I stop talking to people All I do is play video games and browse the internet, by myself I’ve severed any sort of communication with my family and friends I am alone, I don’t speak These are all very literal, when I say these, I mean them 100%  When I was younger, I went through a depression when my mother left, I felt extremely depressed, I stopped talking to a lot of people, I had a couple of friends, but over time, I was in a situation I was with someone else for a few years, and felt better.  Now I’m older, I’m in high school and I’ve been with my father and his girlfriend for a couple years and I feel the symptoms I listed above, I want to know if this is common, or if these are linked to something else.  I was taking a medication that caused me to feel far more depressed then I was, I stopped recently a little while ago. But before I took the medication, I couldn’t feel anything, I was emotionless, I stopped caring about everyone, even myself. But now, I feel some emotion, why is that? I’ve lived on a porch with no insulation, where I’m from the winters can get to the negative temperatures. I’ve struggled to stay warm. Every day my family fights and scream st each other and me, I’ve followed my dad down a road to make sure he didn’t kill himself because he took a gun with him and announced he was going to kill himself.   I feel time just flies by, and I’m alone and by myself inside my head. Nothing matters  Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? I don’t want to feel like this, but is there a way to recover from this second depression?  ",-0.9958,negative,sad
110,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,2,"I’m not a mental health professional (4th year Psych undergrad), but I really feel for you and your situation. You are in a very difficult situation at a difficult time of life. Talk to your school counselor to start. They will get you in touch with the professionals who can help you find the right combination of medication for your severe depression and to develop the additional coping skills you will need as time goes on. It’s hard. Asking for help always is. If you can do it here, I have every confidence in your ability to ask your school counselor. Also, please feel free to message me and let me know how you are doing. ",0.7105,positive,caring
110,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,3,"Hey, ougtred, just a quick heads-up:   **sence** is actually spelled **sense**. You can remember it by **ends with -se**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,acknowledging
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,speaker,1,"my dad would kiss my neck for years and i didn't really want him to but he always explained it away. he had a game called the palate game where he'd tickle the roof of my mouth with his finger. i asked him about this game and he said ""what? you don't do that with your girlfriends?"" for years he'd wrap his legs around me when we were watching tv in bed together and stuff. he once had me drink a cup of vinegar water once when i had a stomach ache. he'd pressure me to eat a lot, he doesn't really eat and it's like i was eating for him. he's been a victim of a lot of abuse so i feel so awful having these feelings but sometimes this bad feeling just hits me and i feel really fucked up. he loves me so much, but sometimes it almost feels like too much, why the fuck am i complaining about that thats not a problem lmao! my grandma says he treats me more like his wife than his daughter but she doesn't think he'd ever hurt me. he conflates our identities a lot and acts like we're the same person. just, shit feels... off. i don't see him too much these days, i'm 17 and have kinda distanced myself \(my parents are separated\), not for any express reasons, but there is something that just sits at the back of my mind and comes up once in a while and i can't seem to disappear the thoughts this time, were the things i described appropriate? i know they're really small so it's stupid to fixate, i wasn't even thinking so much about these specific things at first, there's just this feeling of doom and OH SHIT SOMETHING HAPPENED that hits me sometimes and those are the only things i can really think of",-0.9939,negative,annoyed
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,listener_1,2,Not ok. Not normal.,0.0,neutral,disgusted
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,speaker,3,what do i call it?,0.0,neutral,questioning
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,listener_2,4,Inappropriate as hell,-0.6808,negative,disgusted
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,speaker,5,but it's not like abusive is it? or something that could fuck you up?,-0.4978,negative,questioning
111,MentalHealthSupport,was this ok,listener_2,6,"If he physically does stuff like wraps hustlers around you and stuff and you express discontent/the word ""no"" sometime seven obvious discomfort and the absence of no it is abuse. ",-0.7717,negative,angry
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,1,"I’m sorry to be posting this in the mental health section, I’m new to reddit and am not entirely sure where to post this. I recently found out that my neighbor is a registered sex offender. Not saying what he did, but he was in his fifties and the girl was under 14. This happened in the 90’s. He did 7 years for it. I’ve been trying to avoid him in the halls but it’s almost impossible bc there’s only one stairwell that we’re allowed to use and one elevator, AND he’s my next door neighbor.  I’ve been very short with him since I ever found out bc I would go to his house a lot and talk about plants and stuff with him. It felt like we were friends in the way you can be with an elderly person. Now I just feel really violated bc I’m reminded of what it’s like to be on the receiving end of being sexually assaulted. I’m coping with it okay, but he’s been asking me why I don’t come over anymore, why I’m cold towards him all of a sudden, what he did wrong etc. I don’t know what to tell him because I’m afraid I’ll lose my composure and beat the ever living shit out of him. So..... what do I do? ",-0.9479,negative,ashamed
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),listener_1,2,Don't bend over while he is behind you.  /s.,0.0,neutral,questioning
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,3,Uncalled for dude. ,0.0,neutral,angry
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,4,Ugh I wish I could just up and move but I JUST resigned my lease and then like a week later found out about this. Hopefully he’ll get the hint. ,0.7084,positive,angry
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,5,"Thank you, if he comes to my door I’ll probably do that. Today he asked me from halfway across the hall and I didn’t know how to respond other than to shrug and walk as quickly as I could into my apartment lol",0.6486,positive,embarrassed
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,6,"Personally I don’t want to interact with him at all. I don’t believe people who sexually abuse young children should EVER be given a second chance, because they knew it was wrong. I was thinking about leaving him a note but I don’t want him to take it to police and say that I was harassing him or something because apparently pedophiles have rights too. I’d rather just straight up tell him that I know what he did. But I think I might just have my girlfriend tell him because she doesn’t do the whole politely telling people to go kick rocks. She’s more straightforward than I am and has a stronger backbone lmao. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’ve just been having a lot of anxiety over it and am not sure what to do. ",0.7879999999999999,positive,apprehensive
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),listener_2,7,"If this isn't too forward, you probably aren't in danger from him.  I did some poking, and sex offenders aren't likely to repeat their crimes even if what he did was heinous.  He was in jail for 7 years and is still being punished, after all.  This one is up to you, but it might be beneficial to talk to him about how you feel.",0.4567,positive,apprehensive
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),listener_3,8,"It sounds like having your girlfriend speak to him (without even mentioning you, beyond telling him he is no longer welcome to interact with you in ANY way) is the best option from what you've described. Well done on thinking this through and knowing what your boundaries are. I would also recommend (hopefully you'll never have to use it) a plan for potential shitty future situations.   1. If things get violent for your girlfriend in the initial conversation/confrontation  2. It things get awkward with you and him in the future  3. If there are children visiting you, etc.",0.0567,positive,acknowledging
112,MentalHealthSupport,Neighbor is a registered sex offender (TW),speaker,9,"I know that I’m not in any danger considering that I’m taller and weigh more than him and definitely can defend myself if need be, but he just makes me extremely uncomfortable. It just totally threw me that I had known this guy for a year, brought him plants and extra food and talked with him frequently, and he didn’t disclose it at all. Never once mentioned he went to prison. I get that he made reparations and everything, served his time, but it just felt like a huge betrayal and a big trigger for me because I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times.  I talked with my girlfriend about it and she said she would talk to him for me. Hopefully he won’t bother me anymore. ",-0.8934,negative,disgusted
113,MentalHealthSupport,My autistic brother,speaker,1,"Maybe this place is not for me, I know there are lots of people with worse situations, maybe I am complaining But I can't help it This is my first time making a post on reddit or deciding to talk about it My autistic brother ( 8 year old) is so annoying I hate him hate him hate him He gets all the attention, does everything bad to me and I am not allowed to do anything and if I done something, well mum will start screaming, calling me names, and telling dad things about me (which are mostly not right) I can't take it anymore He (it sounds more logical) is heartless, luckily he never dares to do anything violent to me (he used to when I was young, but then realized that I have got ways to revenge) So this morning he actually threw a rock at a little cute kitten so I screamed in his face and he started crying and rights now I am the target of mum she totally dismisses me and every single word she says about me is a lie And of course, he watches in joy He becomes pretty nice when we are not fighting actually sometimes I consider him as my BFF ( best family friend ) But I cant stand him hurting a kitten And mum is... just not my mum I don't wanna live in the same house as her and my sister (she is normal but spoiled and she keeps hurting me violently) and of course I am the one to blame I would rather die that do that What do I do? ",-0.9837,negative,apprehensive
113,MentalHealthSupport,My autistic brother,listener_1,2,"Hey there. You put a lot into this comment, and there wasn't a specific question or even really any punctuation, so I'm inclined to assume you're a troll. But in case you're not:  I'm not an expert, no one on this sub is. If you're having negative feelings, try to find an adult you trust to talk to about them. Ideally it would be your parents, and I encourage you to tell them how you feel. If you can't get through to them, try a school counselor, teacher, religious leader, or another family member. It's normal to have feeling of frustration and neglect as a sibling in your situation. Communicate them to someone who can help you.  Your brother harming the kitten was not ok, and you need to tell your parents about that. You can't be your brother's keeper, but you do need to be watching out for his behavior when possible. Set a good example for your brother. It's good that he's your BFF, show him that you love him and that you expect better of him than that. It's fiction and not an example or anything, but I would recommend reading Of Mice and Men.",0.9837,positive,trusting
113,MentalHealthSupport,My autistic brother,speaker,3,Ok thanks a lot And I reas mice and men One question What does troll mean? But I definitely think I am not one,0.7269,positive,agreeing
114,MentalHealthSupport,My boyfriend broke up with me.,speaker,1,Yeah. Yeah.,0.5267,positive,agreeing
114,MentalHealthSupport,My boyfriend broke up with me.,listener_1,2,Your gonna be ok In fact your going to be awesome !!! You will work on yourself and meet awesome people and eventually you might even look back on your relationship with him fondly ! It’s not going to be easy but everyday will get better! I wish you good luck and beautiful vibes. ,0.9853,positive,wishing
114,MentalHealthSupport,My boyfriend broke up with me.,speaker,3,Look dude I’m sorry to be so harsh but that wasn’t cool. I posted because I was completely broke in that moment and all you want to do is dispute a point I didn’t even make. I’m still healing from that. I really didn’t need this please don’t do this to anyone else. If no one wants to debate with you let it go especially if they are posting here,-0.7329,negative,sympathizing
115,MentalHealthSupport,Haven't told anyone this.. but I need advice.,speaker,1,"I'm not sure where I should even start. I have not talked about this with anyone, and am having anxiety of even sharing. I just HAVE to talk to someone though, and am needing advice from anyone.   I am 35 years old, and have worked a job since I was old enough to work, until about 2 years ago when I quit. Since then, I have been a stay at home mom. When I worked, I literally never relaxed until my kids were in bed, and still then I'd get things done for another hour or two before I sat down for basically the first time out of the entire day. I am SO picky about how things are cleaned, how clothes are folded, how to vacuum floors, etc. and have always thought that I have OCD. Because of that, it's hard for me to ask anyone else for help because I feel like only I can do it how I like it. (That was never an issue for me to do things on my own, though). I was a very hard worker, I took care of myself, and was so active with my kids. I also loved to clean, and I LOVE having a clean home.  Now that I've told a little about myself in a scattered way.. onto how I have been lately. I plan EVERY day.. ""Okay, tomorrow, I'm going to get this done...im going to get that done..im going to plan a whole day with the kids."" but I never do anything. I have become so lazy and never get things done. And my OCD feelings inside me give me anxiety if things are dirty, but then I don't do anything about it like I used to. I do keep our kitchen cleaned up every night, because I can't stand dishes sitting anywhere. But, I used to clean our home every day, and was always on top of things.   I love my children more than life itself and would do ANYthing for them. Lately I haven't been playing with them like I used to. I just sit and watch tv and feel like I don't want to be bothered... then at night I cry because I know I'm hurting their feelings by not playing with them, or doing anything with them, and I plan again ""tomorrow I'm not going to act like that."" ...but.. I repeat. I'm a great mother in every other way, but I want to play with my kids like I used to. (This is the main reason why I haven't talked to anyone about this.) I can't explain how much it hurts my heart when I think about how I don't do anything with them. I get SO mad at myself for being so damn lazy, and then I STILL don't change. Why?? All I want is for my children to be happy.  I don't know what's wrong with me and why I can't get back to how I was. I'm not sad, or atleast I don't think so..and I don't think bad thoughts (like suicide or wanting to hurt myself). I'm not sure what depression could be exactly, or if there's something else going on with me. Could it be ""cabin fever""? I've heard of it, but never looked in to what it really was. Could I have been used to working so much, and now sitting at home has just made me seriously lazy?..   (Crying at this point while typing this) I just want to be how I used to. I want the energy to play with my kids, I want the motivation to get things done, I don't want to be lazy! I can't even begin to explain how much goes through my head every day...and how much I think ""Why are you doing this?! Why can't you just get up and do stuff? You're such a lazy person."" Then I cry.. but I don't change!! Please.. I just need someone to talk to, and hoping to find someone that may know what's going on with me.   Also, please don't judge me. I hate the way I've been and want to change. I need advice, and I don't know where to go for it.  ",0.9089,positive,apprehensive
115,MentalHealthSupport,Haven't told anyone this.. but I need advice.,listener_1,2,"I went through something similar when I stayed at home with my son.  For me, cleaning and being ""ocd"" about things like you mentioned was a coping mechanism (I didn't realize it was at the time), but one day, it no longer worked to control my anxiety and the house became an out of control mess (to my previous standards). I would get depressed about it but couldn't bring myself to do anything. I felt like I couldn't function anymore. For me, it was definitely depression and I sort of had a bit of a breakdown to where cleaning and organizing and staying on top of things was a way for me to keep my anxiety at bay. For whatever reason, my brain said, no we're not doing this anymore, and I felt like I basically had to reteach myself how to function (I was 32 when this happened).  I feel like I went from overachiever to like you said ""lazy,"" but I knew I wasn't a lazy person.  Isolation can be very real and I know when I stayed home with the kids that sometimes I would be isolated from others for days or even weeks.  I would see my husband in the evenings, but he would be so tired from work we never really went anywhere once he got home, and at that time he was working and in school so some days he didn't get home until after 10 pm.  I can understand what you're going through.  Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you're going through a transition and I know its hard when you're so used to being on top of things all the time.  Perhaps you are depressed also, maybe isolated? Do you have any other adult friends with kids, is there a library, or a park, or a playgroup you can take them to at least a few times a week?  Do you have a therapist or a doctor you can see to find out if you have depression and what options might be available?  I've been there before, do the best you can and try not to let the guilt pile up on you.  Sounds like you're going through something.  What I had to do when I went from being super over-productive to non-productive, was to  aim to do one or two things a day, not 50 like I used to.  It could be get dressed or something equally as simple and that was about all I could handle.  Eventually, it got better, and as my son got older I was able to get a new job and put him in preschool and my mood started to improve.  I hope this helps even a little bit.  ",0.9213,positive,sad
115,MentalHealthSupport,Haven't told anyone this.. but I need advice.,speaker,3,"Thank you for understanding. I have been so worried to even post this, but I also needed to. I haven't talked to my husband about this, but I'm sure he has noticed a change. Everything you described is spot on. I actually have 0 friends. I never talk to anyone. Having no friends isn't really a change for me, though. I've always been a home body, besides working every day. I only get to see my husband for 4 hrs out of the day because he works nights and doesn't get home till early morning. I would use cleaning as a stress reliever before, but I also love to clean and would do it even if I wasn't stressed.  We live out in the country, with only one vehicle for our family, so going somewhere isn't an option unfortunately. :/  I have actually tried doing a couple of things a day, because I have read that in other places as well. That ended up not working for me, because in my head I think that by the time I get everything done over a course of a week or longer, they're not all clean in the same way since they're done at different times. I'm telling you my OCD is insane.. lol The main part that bothers me is not being able to suck it up and play with my kids more often. It's like someone else controls my body, but that my thoughts in my head are correct. I think constantly how horrible I'm being and that I CAN DO IT, then my body just says ""You ain't doing crap"".   I really appreciate your reply, and it gives me some sense of relief knowing that it's not just me. Thank you. I'm so happy for you that you're not in this rut anymore. ",0.9803,positive,trusting
116,MentalHealthSupport,Skin peeling and picking,speaker,1,It is getting bad. How do I stop? ,-0.6908,negative,terrified
116,MentalHealthSupport,Skin peeling and picking,listener_1,2,"I don't have any answers for you, but I suffer from compulsive skin picking as well. You're not alone.",-0.2477,negative,agreeing
116,MentalHealthSupport,Skin peeling and picking,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),speaker,1,"This story is a long and fairly triggering one. But I don't know where to turn. I'll start at the beginning. All names have been changed.  My mother and father divorced when I was an infant. My mother, a vulnerable 25 year old single mother of 2, married almost immediately after. Her husband (Let's call him Joe for now) is not a good man. For 11 years, I was sexually and emotionally abused. I don't know what point my mother discovered this, but I am aware she knew. He was unsafe with her as well. I have three siblings. Two younger, one older. Currently my younger half siblings (Let's call them A and B) are 11 and 14. My older brother (C) is 21 and lives away at college. All of them were, to a degree, victims of his abuse. Mostly physical and psychological. I believe I was the only one sexually abused.  When I was fourteen, I started to self harm. I had a breakdown. My mother actively covered up the abuse as I tried to reach out for help from school counselors and the like. Blatant lies and fake alibies. My dad (my real dad) had no tolerance for any allegations of abuse and immediately let me move in with him.   Following this, having escaped an overly controlling and abusive home, I fell into a deep unstable depression and made many mistakes. My mother never left Joe and holds her ground that I am lying. I left my siblings, my extended family, school, pets, belongings to live with my dad. And she does not allow me to see A and B. Its been four years since I've spoken to them.   After I moved out, I filed a police report. Child services did aj investigation but couldn't find any evidence of abuse (as is the case often with long term and heavily covered up abuse). To this day, my mother insists I've lied. To gain...what? What benefit would I have? Its done nothing but destroy my life!?   Anyway. Back to the point. I am now nineteen. Ive gotten my life on track. I am healthy and stable. I have accepted that I must wait until someone else decides to admit the truth and back me up before any progress can be made. c, my brother, is still on my moms side. My mother is an excelent liar and coached us for most of our lives that what we expirienced was normal family disputes. Dragging by the hair, breaking light fixtures, putting holes in drywall, choking, and sitting me in the living room in front of the family for an hour to tell me over and over that I am worthless and cause every problem with our family while everyone watched. According to my mother, he was just tired all these years and is justified.  My cousin, related only to Joe by blood, reached out to me yesterday. She's fourteen. And she asked me if what she heard was true. If I was abused. My mother has apparently refused to give her any of my contact info for 5 years. The girl (D) has been validating everything i had even begun to doubt ny own sanity over. My mothers constant and obvious lies, her clearly being abused, and much more. She wanted to know if I was sexually abused. I gave vague answers. But I don't want to get into any legal trouble because of this? Talking to her? I told her that people will be scared I coerced her into BELIEVING she was abused. I gave nit ysed buzzwords or anything graphic but I want to be as honest as I can. If anyone has any advice on what to say/ not to say to avoid trouble if her messages are read by someone who dislikes me in the family. I don't want to get I to trouble... I am nineteen btw. And she didn't express ever being abused.  Hope this makes sense.",-0.9989,negative,terrified
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),listener_1,2,"I’ve had friends with similar situations before I hope you’re doing better. Your cousin might’ve not been abused but it’s clear she’s trying to connect with you, she might even help you see your younger siblings in the future. I hope you the best of luck and support.",0.9848,positive,consoling
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),speaker,3,Thank you. So much. ,0.3612,positive,wishing
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),speaker,4,"In my situation, I have to disagree. He is a dangerous and violent man. Ive sat quietly since the police report in 2014. I know from my cousin recently that my mother is still being abused. My therapist (who I cant see frequently anymore because of insurance issues but agreed to see me pro-bono every month or so) said there's no harm in telling her the truth, as long as I go about it carefully without going into sexual details (which I never planned to). He doesn't think there's any legal issue. Im not willing to let go now. Not anymore. Not after so many years totally silent, letting myself suffer while my mother thrived...",-0.0836,negative,trusting
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),listener_2,5,Then you gotta do what you think is best.  One of my nephews is a detective and its amazing how many crimes he investigates where there are seemingly no next of kin; no family or friends.,0.4671,positive,impressed
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),speaker,6,"Thrived in the sense of... Having her family, friends, reputation, home, possessions, ect. ",0.4767,positive,content
117,MentalHealthSupport,Abuse and relatives (advice needed),speaker,7,Thats terrible... Im definitely lucky my birth dad has stood by me through all of this.,0.34,positive,agreeing
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,speaker,1,"I have terrible panic attacks and one was triggered last night out of nowhere when talking to my father and he started yelling at me and when I went to the bathroom to be alone during the panic attack and he came after me and broke the door handle and yelled at me then made me open the door and then took a shotgun off the wall then loaded it and threatened to kill himself. He kept saying that he should kill himself and stuff and I couldn’t do anything and my panic attack lasted until 3 am. Today I was supposed to go to my mother’s house and he’s making me stay but I’m terrified of him and I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t be like this this is all my fault. I shouldn’t be scared of my own father, it’s my fault that he acted like that",-0.9843,negative,terrified
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,listener_1,2,"It is not your fault that he acted that way, or any way. As someone with anxiety as well, that was a hard lesson to learn. People are responsible for their own actions and choices. You should not live afraid, I agree. If he is threatening to kill himself, call the police., but first leave if you can do so safely. Your own safety and mental health should be your immediate concern followed by his actions. They will take him for an evaluation, which is warranted based on what I am seeing in your post. Likely he will be held under observation for a few days based on risk factors (male, access to a weapon, threat of harm to self, not sure of age, but 40-65 is highest risk group). You should also make an appointment with your own therapist. If you do not have one, get one!  There is no shame in asking for help from a professional.   Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. ",0.4911,positive,terrified
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,speaker,3,"Thank you very much for the advice, sadly the police in turkey doesn’t really care about suicidal people. Thank you again for helping ",0.2799,positive,sympathizing
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,listener_1,4,"I am sorry to hear that. While I cannot speak to cultural differences between how the U.S. and Turkey handle suicidal people, it is still of utmost importance you take care of yourself.  Get to a safe place—with your mom or a friend—then call a family member your father respects and might listen to, an older sibling, father, grandfather, mother.  Explain what is happening with him and your concerns. Once he has calmed down, be open about your concern for his well-being and encourage him to enter counseling. ",0.875,positive,caring
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,speaker,5,"I’m leaving in a couple hours and will be talking to my mother, most ironic part is that he is a paychiatrist",-0.2006,negative,surprised
118,MentalHealthSupport,A small problem that happened,listener_1,6,"I am glad to hear you are getting out of the immediate situation. Doctors make the worst patients because they fail to see symptoms in themselves they would ordinarily pick up quickly in others. My wife was aware of my anxiety problems long before I was., and I am a senior psychology student preparing for a masters program.    Please do keep in touch with me. I want to know that you are OK. ",-0.7506,negative,grateful
119,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what to do about this girl,speaker,1,I've liked her for 3 years I'm 14 currently and I've been really sad for a while now.  I really feel down and nothing's helped.  I have hella friends but at the end of the day I'm always thinking of her and I haven't ever stoped liking her and could use some help,0.3742,positive,sad
119,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what to do about this girl,listener_1,2,"Dang dude, that sounds rough. Tell her how you feel. If she likes you too, then go on a date. If she doesn't like you, take it in stride and see if you guys want to remain friends. If she is not chill about it, consider it an awakening that she's not that awesome, and remember that about her when she pops into your head. If you don't want to tell her about your crush, that's fine too, but don't expect doing nothing to make your life easier.  The only way to stop thinking about her is to make yourself think about something else. ",0.3153,positive,questioning
119,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what to do about this girl,speaker,3,"Yea no it's just hard cause I have in the past but lots have changed and idk I've tried everything to try to get her to like me, became ""popular"" (altho not huge deal as our grade only 150 people) and tried to talk to her more but in the end it didn't work out idk if things are different now but I'll try thanks bro",0.8127,positive,neutral
119,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what to do about this girl,listener_2,4,I know I’m responding kinda late but I’m in exactly the same situation. She’s just got a new boyfriend though so welp.,0.0,neutral,jealous
119,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what to do about this girl,speaker,5,Yea idk I'm switching schools so hopefully that helps but idk if it will,0.3351,positive,consoling
120,MentalHealthSupport,Need some inspiration.,speaker,1,"Hey team, okay so I live with my fiancee (Im gonna say right here, that this man, is my dude. This has been the most rewarding experience of my life falling for my best friend HOLY SHIT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS) and I want to be with him.   So my background is my parents tried and loved us but mum shouldnt have had three kids, it was too much, cause she was severely mentally ill in a super rural community (where they just did not do talking let alone talking mental illness) in what people now refer to as 'The Forgotton Highway'. So a mixture of that/both parents having to work too much to have a relationship with us kids/divorced/a very highly strung child always seeking to be perfect, failing and being overly destroyed blah blah youngest of a then combined family totalling six kids: you end up with a individual diagnosed at 24 w anxiety,depression yadayada. But I am also like the best person when I am on form, I am so loving and so caring, my friend once said to me that he wished I gave myself a 1/4 of the love I give back into the world and to the people I care about and literally every animal. And that shook me. So I started sorting my shit out, taking my meds, not drinking, exercising regularly, having personal and professional goals, being hella creative and letting my natural warmth transform me into a a genuinely well meaning little gremlin,making my goddam bed every morning no matter if I got out of bed singing or crying (my dad died when I was 21, I miss him so very much and constantly have nightmares that I have upset him somehow or just dream of him and wake up and BOOM realisation he is gone hits me full force so I wake up scream/crying a lot :/).   Im at university now, starting at 26, studying in the medical field so I can be an EMT/mental health wellness carer in rural communities. Jesuhs sorry for the novel. What I'm explaining is that I have pushed an overflowing bucket of shit uphill in the past 4 years to become the start of the person I want to be. But we live in this house with my partners little by 4 years brother. And he is making it super hard for me to keep sane and keep my cool during the day and I find myself losing my shit (The worst I do is yell ""get me some food right now cause I don't want to say the mean things that are circling my head right now!"" my poor boyfriend) but I hate this feeling of anger and how overwhelming it can be, sometimes I just sit on the back lawn and cry (its got a valley with heaps of trees and birds so its a good place to cry) because I don't know how to help this guy sort his mental health issues that are dragging me down. HOW do I talk to someone who I feed and care after like a child (with the help of his mate who lives here too) but who wont take any notice of anything else besides his own life and now my boyfriend has to look after him now or he will go back on the streets. We don't have kids yet because we wanted to enjoy our twenties together and be passionate and mirthful and playful, thats what life is about we reckon! But I cant push any conversations with this kid or he will literally just stop talking and avoid you like the plague it makes the house so awkward to be in. How do I make him open his mind to the fact that everyone is just trying their best and he has to take responsibility for his own life so he can be a goddam astronaut if he wanted to he's literally that freaking smart and so his family can have the freedom to do what makes them happy. He smokes a LOT of weed, (so do I, but I am also getting a degree, am engaged, have travelled quite a bit, own a house, am considering buying another house, have two dogs, chickens and pigs for a meat supply and grow my own vege's so I feel ok with my usage, it does not deter my determination, in fact, I use it to boost myself.) I don't want it to cause problems between me and my love, but it has already and sometimes I get so mad at him because of his brother and I hate feeling that because its so unfair for him. We talk about literally anything so theres no worry about a lack of communication I just need help sorting this little brother out so I don't have to live in an environment that is kicking my mental healths ass.  Help me reddit, you're my only hope.   TL;DR - Living with partners little brother is unravelling the 4+ years I have spent digging myself out of a pit of shit mentally and I needs the helps on how to help fix his situation.",0.9913,positive,faithful
120,MentalHealthSupport,Need some inspiration.,listener_1,2,"Sorry I cant help you right now. But I will be back soon.   I like to color. If I feel like harming myself, I draw or color in my kids books. Hopefully my word vomit helps you now. Reach out if you need! ",0.8027,positive,sympathizing
120,MentalHealthSupport,Need some inspiration.,speaker,3,"Thank you for replying. My dads gone and my mum is like 2 % in my life so there's not anyone I can really go to for this. I just called a support group and had a talk to a guy who wants to help me through his support group. I have had zero response through all my askings for help so for you to respond even though you didn't have much time, thank you you legend. I'm gonna do some more drawing to stop the thoughts. ",0.9305,positive,grateful
120,MentalHealthSupport,Need some inspiration.,listener_1,4,"My issue is, and has always been money. I have been ""suffering"" according to doctors since I was 6 or 7. I prefer the term ""fight"" over suffering because we are all mother fucking warriors. <3 I love reddit, but facebook groups are a bit quicker of a response time, it can just be really hard to find a good one. Shoot for your main stressor. Aim for a secret group that requires membership to the ""open"" groups first. Ex. I am a birch tree in a forest of warriors. but we are so locked down that I don't even want to breathe their name on reddit. If you need a warrior on speed dial pm me and I can give you my email.  ",-0.7665,negative,apprehensive
121,MentalHealthSupport,How to chill out!?,speaker,1,"How do people on here help them selfs when everything just seems to be getting on top of you  I've tried distracting myself with all sorts of things colouring, games, music, going for a walk but nothing seems to clear my mind   I've even tried sitting in a quiet room and try to clear my mind but that's when everything seems to become louder in my mind  I feel very close to my breaking point right now but there isn't anything I seem to do to make it or myself feel any better   If this makes no sense I apologise but I'm currently not chilled out enough to care 😂",0.942,positive,lonely
121,MentalHealthSupport,How to chill out!?,listener_1,2,"Honestly, sometimes medication (additions, reductions or changes) is the way to chill. Took me a long time to accept it, but I’m grateful to be regulated, now.",0.7783,positive,content
121,MentalHealthSupport,How to chill out!?,speaker,3,"That's what I have started doing but it doesn't seem to be helping yet hopefully with time , but thank you for your advice x",0.8625,positive,consoling
122,MentalHealthSupport,Psych evaluation?,speaker,1,"So, I haven't admitted this but to one person, but I believe I may have bipolar II, or at the very least worse PTSD+depression+anxiety than I can honestly handle. I'm in the US (Missouri) and my insurance covers nothing unless it's well-women exams, STD testing, birth control and crap like that (so unhelpful when it comes to more serious shit) What would you do? All I can really do is go to doctor and get depression meds, but they don't help even take the edge off.  I go through phases of where I'm okay and only moderately depressed, I have my ""triggers"" but I manage, I have energy and motivation to do the things I need to do. Then, I get into a slump and depressed, alone, zero hope, zero motivation, I push all my friends and loved ones away, and it lasts a few days before it gets better. It's effecting my relationship so much, I've lost all my friends because of it.  How can I get better with no job+no money to go get professional help?  Any advice is helpful, even just solidarity.    Thanks. ",0.9524,positive,afraid
122,MentalHealthSupport,Psych evaluation?,listener_1,2,"An upcoming field within treatment for mental health in general is mindfulness. Using mindfulness for PTSD or depression may be a good way to start learning a new way of coping. You can experiment by yourself quite easly by using the internet or selfhelpbooks. Start googling it for example! Maybe it is something that helps you or maybe not; it is not for everyone benefitial. Maybe other alternative paths besides therapy and medication is more suitable, but my main recommandation is still professional help in form of therapy (CGT or EMDR), if it is somehow possible in your situation... Nevertheless, I hope mindfulness may bring you some positive experiences; be patient in giving it a chance en count every small achievement you make with it. Good luck with your journey. - Young Dutch Clinical Psychologist",0.9807,positive,suggesting
122,MentalHealthSupport,Psych evaluation?,speaker,3,"Thank you, I'll look into that. ",0.3612,positive,wishing
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,speaker,1,"Sometimes I get a flashback of something embarrassing I did. They come out of nowhere, they give me severe anxiety and I phisically cringe: I whince, my hands close tightly into fists, I sometimes get a small pain in my chest, and I complain as if I was in pain. I sometimes mumble it away, or try to. Usually one triggers two or three after that in a total random manner. As if my brain had a library of cringe moments and after seeing one, decides to check out what else is there.  I try to distract myself, but it gives me great anxiety, and they are seriously random. I can get them anywhere at any moment. Even remembering ""hey, I had a cringe moment here the other day"" is enough. And they keep getting more repetitive, more frequent and stronger. The reaction is now inmediate.   Fun story about this: they have been getting worse and I have been getting more and more anxious, but I noticed this because my dog started imitating my sighs, whince, or out loud mumble-complain noises. ",-0.7375,negative,embarrassed
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,listener_1,2,"What kind of embarrassing things are we talking about?   You're making out that a lot of what you do is something you shouldnt have said or done. Or maybe something clumsy that happened like falling over or dropping a load of plates?   Just accept who you are, and maybe be more aware of yourself in future situations? Easier said than done.   Try the app Headspace. It's super super helpful and free and do it every day or every time you feel anxiety.    https://www.headspace.com ",0.9527,positive,embarrassed
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,speaker,3,"Yah it's stuff like... Some years ago I went to the gym, started using a machine wrong. Some men stared at me before telling me I was doing it wrong and showing me how it was done.  I still cringe at the idea that I made a fool of myself, even if my logic side knows it wasn't a big deal.  I'm trying to write them down now, it somehow downplays them. Thanks for the help! ",-0.3164,negative,embarrassed
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,listener_1,4,"Ok well the one and only answer to that is that every single person on this planet learning something ""starts of stupid"" which is terrible way of putting it. But that's how you learn.   This is more something to giggle at than feel bad about. Why feel bad for trying and for learning? That's a good thing. ",-0.5653,negative,disappointed
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,listener_1,5,"Ok well the one and only answer to that is that every single person on this planet learning something ""starts of stupid"" which is terrible way of putting it. But that's how you learn.   This is more something to giggle at than feel bad about. Why feel bad for trying and for learning? That's a good thing. ",-0.5653,negative,disappointed
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,speaker,6,"That's how I called them (that and cringe ptsd lol) and then I read an article about it and the dude called it like that too, so it stayed. ",0.6486,positive,neutral
123,MentalHealthSupport,How do you avoid cringe attacks?,speaker,7,"Walking down the street listening to music? Hey, remember that time you said something weird in biology class? Cringe!  I found that writing or telling someone about it helps. Also rationalizing it, say it out loud or pretend you are explaining it to someone in your mind. ",0.2851,positive,embarrassed
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,speaker,1,"This might not be the right sub for this post but I need someone to try help me. Ever since I can remember, I used to look into a mirror for too long, and start to wonder about stuff, my name, my family, time space all that stuff. At age 6 or 7 that gets lost in your brain or becomes confusing I get that. But I’m now 16, and I still get this feeling every time I stare at a mirror for too long, I start to question stuff like “is this actually me? Who is (my name)? How am I made? What is this world? Are my closest relatives complete strangers? Is anything real? Are we going to die?”  From around age 14 or onward It moved from looking into mirrors for too long into being bored, or even being conscious of existing, like taking time out of a normal school day to ponder these questions. Again, now that I’m older the questions seem to become more violent, and these ‘episodes’ stay longer and have a much more horrible/depressing (for lack of a better word) impact on me that I become very aware and anxious and As if I have a huge wave on my shoulders  I’ve talked to people about this but most just said it’s stupid but this has gone on for years under my nose and now that I understand that it makes me sad I don’t know how to stop it, let alone what it is  I think I would define it as ‘existential dread’ and I’ve shortened it to ‘existentialism’ to people when I explain it  Over the past few months this state of mind has become a lot more frequent. I need someone to help me out in understanding this before it gets too much for me, someone please help  Thank you ",-0.5998,negative,nostalgic
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,listener_1,2,"Sounds like existentialism. It may be a philosophy, but it's not all theory. I deal with the same thing. Reading the book ""Nausea"" by Jean Paul-Sartre finally made me accept that it's really an experience, not just the heady theory as it is on wikipedia, and you don't have to know a thing about existentialism to feel it. But I can empathize; it's a very unsettling thing.   As for understanding it.. well, you can read up on it, there are a lot of responses to existentialism. You have to learn to identify yourself as a person, a human, and ground yourself. It's easy to lose yourself in that mindset, so grounding techniques like mindfulness might help you. One good one is a body-scan, which may help or hurt. It's basically closing your eyes and feeling your toes, legs, torso, arms, fingers, face, etc with intention. It's a way to get back into your body. ",0.9574,positive,agreeing
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,speaker,3,"I’ll try anything to help ground me, thank you so much",0.6369,positive,grateful
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,speaker,4,"This might actually be it, from what I see it’s either this or existentialism, thanks a million for the link",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,listener_2,5,"No problem 😊 I wouldn't be surprised if it's both, it's very rare to be able to trace mental health struggles back to a singular cause. ",-0.0997,negative,neutral
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,speaker,6,☺️☺️,0.7184,positive,grateful
124,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like I don’t exist,speaker,7,"I haven’t tried it as a possible cure for this but as a whole I’m aware of the benefits and love running, makes me feel so much better :)",0.9631,positive,apprehensive
125,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy is a waste of money,speaker,1,"For me therapy is a waste of money, I believe therapist have good intentions but the law of implied consent prevents me from talking about the whole truth for example the root cause of my depression is I want to be euthanized, I think about suicide all the time, my issue is how can I get to the root cause of what's causing my pain with worrying about a therapist trying to get me into protective custody for talking about my pure thoughts such as suicide I don't want to be held for in the hospital for 72 hours for being honest",-0.9567,negative,apprehensive
125,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy is a waste of money,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope you have support outside of therapy. Just to clarify, the root of your depression is wanting to be euthanized? The therapist should be working with you to uncover the root of your depression and suicidal ideation. Did you tell them you have a plan? If so, they do have a duty to protect and report. A good therapist will want to help you find meaning and hope, a reason to keep living. However, they won’t deny what you’re going through. ",0.1926,positive,sympathizing
125,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy is a waste of money,speaker,3,I am just asking how can you open up to a person about issues who under law has to report to the authorities.  I have been hospitalized for saying I have intrusive thoughts but have not acted on them ,0.0,neutral,trusting
125,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy is a waste of money,listener_2,4,"The best thing I can think of, is re phrasing it in a better way. Maybe start with telling them you are not planning on it but have intrusive thoughts? Ask for meds? State that you want to get better? Show that you want to live, maybe explain how last time you were hospitalized it made everything worse. ",0.6898,positive,suggesting
125,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy is a waste of money,listener_3,5,"I have spent 4 years of my career as a therapist and I can confirm that having suicidal thoughts is not a reason to hospitalize someone against their will. Suicidal thoughts are quite common with many mental illnesses. However, if you do have a concrete plan and state a date/time you will do it, that that does warrant reporting and possible hospitalization. I will also say that if you think therapy is a waist of money please take into account that not all therapists are created equal and perhaps you haven't found the right one. I'm also going to throw out there that I've been on ""both sides of the desk"" and have been a client as well so there's nothing to be embarrassed about in seeking help or finding a new therapist if the one you have isn't working out.",-0.6111,negative,agreeing
126,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know where to start,speaker,1,"My whole brain is a mess. I’m a happy person. I am humble and I do my best to be the best friend, husband, Coach I can be. I’m surrounded by great people but I just know I’m different. I’m a nice guy. Sensitive. In touch with my emotion. It makes me appear weak. Which angers me. I wish I was emotionless. I’m not as smart as I wish I was. This makes me mad. The list goes on. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I have been in control of it my whole life. I have never contemplated suicide. I’m a Christian so I’m more afraid of death and hell than being alive. I do however understand why people commit suicide. It makes sense. I do t agree but I get it. I feel everything at once sometimes. Sad angry happy etc. I’m a mess. I want to go to a dr but I don’t want people to know my issues. I just told my wife if 3 years, 6 months ago. I don’t want people to worry about me. I’m fine....I think. That’s to say as of late I have had a serious if unfortunate events (sorry of the book title use) and I feel it’s feeding and sparked my depression to a level where I am in control still but it’s more frequent. I have no idea what to do. I’m lost. I don’t want to be judged. I’m a good honest man. Who just can’t control his brain. ",-0.9822,negative,ashamed
126,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know where to start,speaker,2,I find myself addicted to things because they make me feel good about myself. I don’t think they are harmful addictions. Maybe to my bank account. One may be harmful but not to my health and body. ,0.2382,positive,content
126,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know where to start,speaker,3,"I probably really should. I just don’t want the word getting out that I go through things others don’t. I feel so different form everyone else. I catch myself thinking a lot that I’m different. I don’t want the attention, they worry, etc. just something to help sort me out. I don’t want to be detained or anything. I’m fine. I’m just not always in control of how I feel. I feel voiceless in a room full of people. It’s getting worse. I feel unimportant in a job I love. I can’t tell anyone I work with. I wouldn’t be able to look them in the eyes. I’m not making any sense I’m sure but that’s how my mind works ",0.1154,positive,apprehensive
126,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know where to start,listener_1,4,You probably won’t be detained. I’ve been to a mental hospital before for self harm. Shit has to be bad to end up and maybe it is bad enough. If you do end up in physic it’s probably for the best. You need to learn to tryst someone. Word doesn’t have to get out. Maybe start by going to BetterHelp.com and trying that. You don’t have to tell anyone. ,-0.9118,negative,suggesting
126,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know where to start,speaker,5,Thanks I’ll give it a look. I so t really know where I am at. Sometimes I think I’m just being sensitive. Not sure anymore. ,0.2354,positive,trusting
127,MentalHealthSupport,Harm OCD issues (TRIGGER WARNING),speaker,1,"Hi, I'm gonna keep this short because I have posted in other places, but nobody has responded and I feel like I am running out of time. I was diagnosed with Harm OCD, Depression, Anxiety, OCD, all at the age of 14. I am 15 right now and my life is currently a living hell. I am not happy because I feel that I might lose control and hurt myself or someone else. Anxiety constantly, depression, and I need people to help me. I dont like talking to my family about it and I'm alone right now anyway. PLEASE, get back to me as soon as you can. I'm not in a crisis, but a very dark place. I, as much as it pains me to say, have forgotten what it feels like to be genuinely happy.",-0.9779,negative,anxious
127,MentalHealthSupport,Harm OCD issues (TRIGGER WARNING),listener_1,2,"Hi, I’m Jay. I am 15. I don’t have OCD but I have anxiety and depression and I’ve been through self harm urges. It took me too long to notice all the beautiful things in life. For me, going outside at least once a day is good. The fresh air and the grass and the sounds make the world seem nicer. The best coping mechanism I’ve learned is grounding, I pick something in the room and I look at the color, the texture, the shape, the size ~~ all the little details. I pay attention to the noises and how they are and I remember I’m here and I’m okay and I’m breathing and I’m going to keep taking deep powerful breaths. This isn’t forever. It gets better. Stay strong. I’m always here for you if you need to talk. https://discord.gg/cVuAjR",0.9779,positive,content
127,MentalHealthSupport,Harm OCD issues (TRIGGER WARNING),speaker,3,"Thank you. The good news was I found out why the anxiety has been so bad. It’s because of my sleep schedule, as I sleep usually from 5 am to 4 pm. I have little human contact because of how I’m sleeping; causing more anxiety.",-0.4184,negative,grateful
127,MentalHealthSupport,Harm OCD issues (TRIGGER WARNING),speaker,4,I know it’s late but can we still talk?,0.0,neutral,questioning
128,MentalHealthSupport,Help me i’m going crazyy!!!,speaker,1,"Ok so, My name is khadar and i’m new to reddit i saw many people found useful this community. Long story short i need help. So since the first grade i always been the weird kid in my class socializing was difficult for me i’ve been engaged in many fights throught my life i always been on my own people would either way use me because i’m not that kind of though man i’m a soft guy i really care about girls feelings and i’m always been a good hearted person. So reached middle school i though new life new people and... maybe new friends but i was wrong very wrong, life just got harder as i’ve been growing up in an african family i’ve been mentally and physically abused so at home was a hell either it was at school i was constantly bullied people were making fun of me fight me acting like fake friends and take my kindness for weakness and it was just a hell. So i started high school and even there nothing was right at the point where i had to seriously and physically kick in the ball two of my classmate beacause i couldn’t handle their rubbish talk anymore so i was to mentally messed up that i did not care about my grades but i kinda cared aswell but i didn’t do anything about till the end of school where the principal basically gave one more possibility to pass but making me take some exams and before i went to school for the last exams i basically promised myseld that if i wouldn’t pass i would just kill myself and when i realized i flopped i was at home alone and i tried to jump from the third floor of my home but nothing even there i flopped i was to mentally exahusted until my mom didn’t tell me that i would move to another country witj my dad to carry on with my studies i’ve always been a top student but when everybody were making friends and enjoying life i was just trying to survive i guess so...once i reached the new country things went even worse the new classmate got onto me they just made fun of me again and here i tried to kill myself another time but nothing i flopped year 10 in this country aswell and my family was kinda onto me everyday but as a boy i couldnt make myself see at as a weak and soft boy thats why since i was young i’ve been faking and lately i came across to some new discoveries that made me understand myself more my psychology teacher once told me to show her what was wrong me (as i love maths but i seemed not to be able to get high grades) so my psychology teacher said that i might have adhd as she has it aswell and she said some symptoms my be reffered to you  so i took i deep reaserch and when i saw she was right i was kinda happy because i now could finally give an answer to why everybody might always hated me then i realized that some of my class mate said i changed mood to quickly i jump from super happy and excited to super sad and i would like to know if any of you could help to understand why do i keep think about ending my life or i’m seriously taking in consideration to cut my wrists thank you soo much for the support.",-0.8842,negative,afraid
128,MentalHealthSupport,Help me i’m going crazyy!!!,listener_1,2,"I've had lifelong struggles with my mental health as well. I am not a professional and cannot offer any professional medical advice, but my best personal suggestion is to go to a clinic or a family doctor if you have one and ask for a referral to a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist. If you explain your symptoms - especially make sure to tell them about your thoughts of self harm and suicide - they will make sure you get the help you need.  For more long term counseling, if money is a challenge try googling ""sliding scale counseling"" in your local area. Sliding scale means pay what you can based on how financially stable you are, so they can offer services that are affordable for you.   I hope you act on getting the support you need sooner rather than later. Even if it seems completely hopeless, just know that it will get better and that's worth fighting for. ",0.9007,positive,trusting
128,MentalHealthSupport,Help me i’m going crazyy!!!,speaker,3,"Hi there, Thanks for getting in touch if you don’t mind asking do you got any mentall ilness or you anything about the topic because i got some questions for you",0.4404,positive,questioning
128,MentalHealthSupport,Help me i’m going crazyy!!!,listener_2,4,"Yes, like many of us I am on a journey working every day towards mental health. Feel free to ask but also realize that the best step forward for you will surely be seeking someone locally to help you find a therapist.",0.9581,positive,agreeing
129,MentalHealthSupport,I am better than everyone else.,speaker,1,"Whoever you are I am better than you. I am thankful to be myself and would not have it any other way. There is always a bigger fish, I am at the top of the food chain. It's not me thinking, I know this for a fact. ",0.8126,positive,grateful
129,MentalHealthSupport,I am better than everyone else.,listener_1,2,Clearly not. You feel the need to prove yourself. You are insecure and don’t feel heard enough in your external life. Pathetic. Nice try tho. ,-0.25,negative,agreeing
129,MentalHealthSupport,I am better than everyone else.,listener_2,3,That’s why they’re here. ,0.0,neutral,neutral
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,speaker,1,"When I get to the peak of feeling depressed I sometimes think of killing anyone. To keep it short: 17 year old male. Used to self harm and had bulimia. Extremely compulsive for good and bad. I see the world in black and white which makes me very extremist and radical. I had been told I had no empathy by many people. However I am very protective and I think I have some empathy except when I'm very low. Im usually supper calm, but when I get angry I get very violent. When I want to kill it's not a particular person and it's normally multiple people. When I plan on killing it always ends with my suicide. Im very afraid of what I could end up doing. I simply don't want to cause any harm. What can I do? ",-0.9929,negative,terrified
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,listener_1,2,"Remember that every action has consequences.  Take your thoughts a little farther.  If you fail at suicide, you might end up in prison, on your knees, putting a smile on some ugly convict's face.",-0.9201,negative,apprehensive
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,speaker,3,"I absolutely agree. I'm just worried that I loose control, which for me is rare, but when it happens I don't care about absolutely anything I just want to somehow satisfy myself",0.1666,positive,agreeing
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,listener_1,4,Just save that last bullet for yourself.,0.4939,positive,neutral
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,speaker,5,Thx mate ,0.3612,positive,wishing
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,speaker,6,I was thinking of going for a long time but I would have to tell my parents which could end up worse. I think I'll wait until I go to college next year and find help somehow without having to tell them. Thanks a lot for the response.,0.5023,positive,wishing
130,MentalHealthSupport,I want to kill,listener_2,7,"No problem :). If you ever feel like you’re in a dead end/ the situation needs to be addressed immediately you definitely don’t need to specify what’s bothering you and can just say you’re depressed. Regardless, if telling them will be problematic colleges often have great counselors on site and can even recommend you to therapists in the area for things they feel go beyond their scope. ",-0.0108,neutral,agreeing
131,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling,speaker,1,"After reading some of these posts I feel like my issues aren't very big in comparison but I've been really struggling for a while now and I'm hoping i can just have a little relief here.   Recently my sister has just lost a court case fighting for her children. I won't go into to much detail but I quite a distant relationship with alot of my family and this was something I wanted to be there for her. I attended the first two court days but messed up, (don't really wanna explain) and I couldn't attend the other two days or talk to my sister.  Shes also 8 months pregnant at the moment and I've dropped out of her life... Again.   My struggling is a disappointment I have of myself. I'm going into year 11 hoping I atleast pass GCSEs and dreading the social interactions at school.  It's been a sudden drop for me since losing contact with my sister, I fell like I let her down, even after I promised to be there for her. I also write stories (username) but recently I have felt what ever I produce is garbage, throughout the summer I've considered scrapping the whole thing.  My girlfriend has been diagnosed with a type of bipolar recently, I can't remember the name, cy- something. I really want to be there for her but find my self too emotionally weak and like what I do just makes things worse.  I know this is a big messy rant, I just wanted to throw it all out and hope maybe something came back. Part of me feels like I'm just wallowing in self pity. I don't know what responses to expect but I would really appreciate anything. ",-0.9413,negative,caring
131,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling,listener_1,2,"I don’t necessarily have any gems of wisdom for you, but I wanted to say that I hear you and I can empathize.   I have depression and anxiety. I think I’m decently functional most of the time. I meet or hear about people with major personality disorders, or depression so bad they can’t even brush their hair, and I feel like I must just be lazy.    I don’t really know how to express it, but... What’s helped me with that the most, is understanding that it isn’t an either/or situation. People who have 16 different disorders and take 47 different medications and can’t even handle basic personal hygiene most days, let alone keep a job or relationship- they are struggling and need help, definitely. That doesn’t mean that I don’t also struggle and need help. I still have major depression and an anxiety disorder, and I still need my four or five prescriptions and to go to therapy and see my psychiatrist, and I still need help from my support team (my husband, family, and close friends).    You are allowed to need (and ask for) help, like any other human being. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, like any other human being. You deserve adequate medical care, like any other human being. You are unique and irreplaceable and valuable because you are a human being, and it is not unreasonable that you seek to have your needs met, even if other human beings have more or bigger needs than you.   Try not to let yourself forget that ❤️",0.3773,positive,caring
131,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling,speaker,3,Thank you so much. It really helps to just hear/read people say stuff like this.  ,0.7841,positive,acknowledging
132,MentalHealthSupport,"11 hours of sleep, waking up and feeling exhausted",speaker,1,"I had a rough night, cried my eyes out and woke up tired... (after 11 hrs of sleep might I add). And the whole of today was... a bother, I had to go out and get some stuff done, but it felt so tiring. I still have a familly meal to go to but I'm just... exhausted, was it because I didn't go sleep with peace in my heart?",0.705,positive,lonely
132,MentalHealthSupport,"11 hours of sleep, waking up and feeling exhausted",listener_1,2,"I’m no expert but I do know when I go to bed stressed or anxious, I don’t typically sleep all that well. But also, you could be getting TOO much sleep with 11 hours. I know there are different parts of our sleep cycles and if you wake up during a part of the cycle that hasn’t had a chance to finish or whatever, it could leave you feeling drained or exhausted. There are recommended time frames for humans to sleep to wake up feeling rested that you can google if you wish but for my age (23), I think scientists recommend I sleep for 6-7 hours or so. Sorry I don’t have very much concrete information. ",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
132,MentalHealthSupport,"11 hours of sleep, waking up and feeling exhausted",speaker,3,"Probably, some doctors say I get too much sleep and some say with my school program I get too little (17 and sleeping like 7 hrs) ",0.3612,positive,suggesting
133,MentalHealthSupport,I want to offer support,speaker,1,I struggle with mental illness myself. [https://http18165672.wordpress.com](https://http18165672.wordpress.com),-0.6124,negative,ashamed
133,MentalHealthSupport,I want to offer support,listener_1,2,"You can head over to https://www.houseofmisfits.org if you’d like to offer support! We operate on a “peer support” level meaning for the mentally ill, by the mentally ill. We have support teams to help others when they are reaching out. We’d love to have you as a volunteer!",0.8906,positive,caring
133,MentalHealthSupport,I want to offer support,speaker,3,Sounds awesome! Thank you so much for including me. How should I go about this? Just create a an account first?,0.8538,positive,acknowledging
133,MentalHealthSupport,I want to offer support,listener_1,4,Yep!,0.3595,positive,agreeing
134,MentalHealthSupport,Everything I’ve been holding in. Bless your soul if you read this.,speaker,1,"Currently I’m 19, a sophomore in college. Honestly, if somebody were to film me going throughout my day, you’d likely think I had a normal or even “perfect” life. And you’d probably be really confused why anytime I’m alone, I break down. Honestly, I sometimes don’t think my negative feelings are all too valid either.   Ever since I can remember I’ve had social anxiety. I think it’s the worst it’s ever been. I don’t even know what to say about this because I’m a textbook example.   In the 4th grade my life changed. I witness domestic violence for the first time. Over the course of 4 years I witnessed my father abuse both my mom and my brother. Never me, but watching it, hearing it, and fearing it did a lot of harm on me psychologically. I actually didn’t even have friends over because I was so afraid they’d see it. But anytime I left Home I’d worry about what was happening with my family. I felt trapped but I told nobody because even though I didn’t like my dad, I loved him and I didn’t want anyone to hate him. But the abuse has stopped and now he’s the perfect dad if I could only forgive him.  Probably due to abuse trauma, my brother had a heroin addiction. He was violent too. There’s was holes punched in almost all walls and doors. I was “ the good child” expected to be the one who gave my parents a break. Eventually he was kicked out of the house for my safety, a new guilt of mine to carry. But whatever, he’s home again and just like my dad he’s better.  Lastly, I developed and eating disorder because of the narcissistic abusive best friends comments. Obviously she didn’t make me starve myself, I did that to myself. But I did lose 15 pounds when I was thin to begin with. Partly to be accepted by my friend, and partly to spite my mother who told me I better fix my eating disorder because her focus had to be on my brother. But after fainting and losing hair and failing a class, I recovered.  Honestly the theme of my life is that I’m supposed to be the good one. The bad things didn’t really happen to me. But, in a way they did. But I’m lonely because I’m always brushed off anytime I open up. So, because I’m so used to this, I just stopped opening up. Because I’m supposed to be fine. But why am I not fine? ",-0.9912,negative,lonely
134,MentalHealthSupport,Everything I’ve been holding in. Bless your soul if you read this.,listener_1,2,"You are fine. You just think your aren't. You're obviously highly self-aware. Able to remember, realize, and compare the past, present, and possibilities. It seems like you're hating yourself for feeling like you're the failure.  I don't really know though. I'm here if you need to talk. Seriously.",-0.25,negative,jealous
134,MentalHealthSupport,Everything I’ve been holding in. Bless your soul if you read this.,speaker,3,"I just know that somethings wrong with me. I can only be happy with people because they distract me and I also think I can focus on them and their feelings and be happy for them. But when I’m alone, which happens pretty often, it’s like torture. I’ve also found I’m not usually happy around my family which is who I live with. I don’t know how to explain the feeling other than I just feel like no matter what I do, my life will never be okay and I’ll never be happy. And I honestly never think I can do things. College for example, I was so worried in high school that I’d never go to college cause I’m not smart enough. Well, now I’m on my second year of college with a 3.5 and now my thought process is “ well, this can’t be that impressive if I can do it and it’s only a matter of time until I start flunking out.” I wouldn’t say I hate myself, I’d just say that I think most people are just better than me and more deserving. And honestly I might feel that way because my parents always had to focus on my siblings instead of me. ",-0.2653,negative,lonely
135,MentalHealthSupport,How to explain to my parents what mental health is and the struggles i deal with,speaker,1,"Ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for close to my whole life, i know I’ve always had it but it wasn’t until i was in my 20s that i went to see someone and got told ‘ yep you have it’. Im now 26 and my parents still don’t really know the extent of it all. My mother doesn’t know about it just from lack of education so its hard to tell her about it because she doesn’t understand it and my father just doesn’t believe its a thing.  Has anyone been in a situation like this and how have you told your parents what you’re dealing with?   I just want them to understand the struggles i face daily and stop thinking im just ‘lazy and a negative person’ ",-0.9056,negative,sad
135,MentalHealthSupport,How to explain to my parents what mental health is and the struggles i deal with,listener_1,2,"At 26 if they don believe you i'd say you'r better than to worry about their opinions. If they are capable of understanding it or were capable, than i say they do know what you feel. Maybe they just think that not acknowledging it will make your state better. Or maybe they also struggled with problems and they haven't been able to overcome them too. Family is a very powerful tool for oppressing mental health problems. As a child it can be hard to realise that your parents are not always right and they are just the same kind of people like you, they can be wrong and unhealthy. But the roots of mental health problems can be traced back to generations. What i find worth fighting for is trying not to pass on your problems. I'm sure you will find the way to live in peace. Keep up your courage, i believe in you!",0.5843,positive,agreeing
135,MentalHealthSupport,How to explain to my parents what mental health is and the struggles i deal with,speaker,3,Thank you for your kind words. It means alot! ,0.7345,positive,wishing
135,MentalHealthSupport,How to explain to my parents what mental health is and the struggles i deal with,listener_2,4,"Hey, bluedaisy0303, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,1,"All I want to do is binge right now. I’m back home with my horrible family for the next few days and I have to see friends while doing a ton of homework and dealing with my family. These dark thoughts are killing me. There’s all kinds of pain here. I’m revisiting the urge to binge right now mainly because if I binge, it makes me more like my mother, and I will do anything to not be like my mother. The thoughts of suicide are just so persistent and painful. I just turned 19 2 days ago, and I welcomed my first night at a 19 year old with a binge, alone in my room, as I rocked back and forth. I’m so very lost. I could just use a bit of kindness right now. ",-0.9355,negative,guilty
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,listener_1,2,Just binge away bro. None of this shit matters in the end so just eat all you want til your heart stops. At least you'll die happy.  ,-0.1154,negative,consoling
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,3,Don’t try to bring others down with you. ,0.0,neutral,questioning
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,4,"Don’t worry I will ignore it. Strangely enough, receiving such negativity kind of wakes you up and makes you think like “are you kidding me? Hell no I won’t do that!”  I’ll send you a message if I ever need. Thank you for your kindness. ",-0.8622,negative,trusting
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,5,"Interesting suggestion!  Unfortunately, I don’t think that ssri’s would fix the food problem. I have an addiction to food, meaning that it’s not a matter of whether I’m hungry or not. It’s more like how no matter how hungry someone with anorexia is, their eating disorder really overpowers that urge. In regards to meds, I’ve given that stuff thought. I’d like to see if I can handle all of this stuff without meds first. I honestly haven’t gathered the courage to tell my therapist that I’m suicidal/struggle with self harm yet. I’m afraid of being sent away to an institution, because in my specific life situation, that would make everything worse. Thankfully, I’m not in immediate danger with this stuff since I’ve gotten better at dealing with it over the years. That being said, I do plan to tell my therapist in the future. I’m just not sure how I would do so without being institutionalized. Thank you for the suggestion and I will definitely keep it in mind as I continue my journey towards healing. ",0.4913,positive,apprehensive
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,listener_2,6,I’m not sure what country you reside in but suicidal thoughts alone are not grounds enough for a psychiatrist or therapist to institutionalize someone. This is only done in extreme cases where they fear the patient is very likely to act on those thoughts or have made a plan to kill themselves and are a danger to themselves. I’ve talked about self harm and suicidal thoughts often with my therapist. ,-0.991,negative,trusting
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,7,"I’ve definitely heard that before but idk, I’m just so afraid to tell her. I won’t ever do it, because I’m honestly too scared to, so even in times where there was no other reason, there was that. I want to build up the courage to tell her. The problem is definitely not as severe as it used to be, but the older I get, the more deeply disturbed I am by this. I’m realizing how bad it is, whereas when I was younger, I was just used to it. Thank you for the reassurance. ",0.3857,positive,terrified
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,listener_2,8,"As someone suffering from depression for 3 years now, It’s normal to have these thoughts so don’t be afraid of them. But the most difficult thing I found to help you with your anxieties around the issue is you have to make yourself speak to someone. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your therapist at first, try writing down the thoughts in your head in a journal. This really helped with me.",0.0027,neutral,apprehensive
136,MentalHealthSupport,Resisting the urge to stuff my face with every piece of food in existence.,speaker,9,I will give that a try! Thank you so much. <3,0.4199,positive,acknowledging
137,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve noticed something concerning about myself- what does this mean?,speaker,1,"I want bad things to happen to me. I don’t think it’s a self sabotage thing, because I don’t act on it I’m actually very careful. That being said, I want horrible things to happen to me. When I think bad things will happen I’m scared and upset but when it turns out that it’s okay I’m kinda disappointed that it didn’t happen. It’s partially an attention thing, but also I think I mainly just want to feel extreme emotions. Why would I want that? ",-0.856,negative,disappointed
137,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve noticed something concerning about myself- what does this mean?,listener_1,2,What do you consider bad?,-0.5423,negative,questioning
137,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve noticed something concerning about myself- what does this mean?,speaker,3,"Really bad. I don’t really want to say all the things because some are really messed up and it would probably be insensitive to those who really have gone through those things. But when I was young I wanted broken bones and hospital visits. Now I’m older I’ve gotten a bit darker with it. Like, wanting people to threaten me or wanting people to hurt me. ",-0.9231,negative,sentimental
137,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve noticed something concerning about myself- what does this mean?,speaker,4,I really relate to you. I always think I’m over dramatic and like my feelings aren’t valid and I feel stupid when I express them. But then when I don’t express my feelings I feel like I’ve been through a lot and like I’m neglecting myself by not getting help. Basically I just can’t do anything right for myself because I never like what I do.,-0.4682,negative,ashamed
138,MentalHealthSupport,MY MENTAL HEALTH INSTA PAGE!,speaker,1,"I have recently created an Instagram account where people can go for guidance and emotional support. The underlying premise is... don’t suffer in silence. DM with a personal mental health concern for a quick response and a post where people can share helpful tips just for you. It’s called, somebody_can_help_you.  Please check it out, especially if you are someone who is in need of help.  ",0.8689,positive,caring
138,MentalHealthSupport,MY MENTAL HEALTH INSTA PAGE!,listener_1,2,How would I go about helping you create a network of channels like this?,0.7003,positive,questioning
138,MentalHealthSupport,MY MENTAL HEALTH INSTA PAGE!,speaker,3,Oh my goodness. Sounds great. ,0.7964,positive,acknowledging
139,MentalHealthSupport,Filling out job app question about how to answer counseling question. What do you say?,speaker,1,"When filling out a job application the question is worded:   “Have you ever attended participated in one on one or group counseling for dependency anger management or other reasons?”   The next line says “If yes what was the duration of counseling?”  And the next line says “If yes, when was your last session?”  This is for a repo company and I don’t know if it should matter that I’m in counseling now. Not for dependency or anger management but for Domestic Abuse issues ,  PTSD, and ADHD.  So how do I answer this and is it an automatic disqualification? ",-0.8661,negative,apprehensive
139,MentalHealthSupport,Filling out job app question about how to answer counseling question. What do you say?,listener_1,2,"What line of work is this job in? I find it really unusual and probably unethical to include this question on a job app. Can you write ""prefer not to answer"" on the form? It's really likely none of their business.",-0.5661,negative,apprehensive
139,MentalHealthSupport,Filling out job app question about how to answer counseling question. What do you say?,speaker,3,It’s for a repo company. And unfortunately you can’t not answer or it’s automatic disqualification. I thought about contacting the company to ask them if there is even a point in me applying. ,-0.34,negative,disappointed
140,MentalHealthSupport,I can't choose for myself,speaker,1,"Hey so I am stuck. I've been dating this person since the start of summer and I don't know what to do anymore. They're incredible most of the time but they also tend to tear me apart emotionally to then tell me I need to toughen up. Basically, they have commitment issues as well as separation anxiety which is the worst combination ever. As soon as I get too close they start to push me away. They make cruel jokes and even if I tell them I don't like it, they turn that all into a joke too making me feel even worse. They almost always apologise afterwards and it used to be alright but it's getting worse. Next to that they don't want to call what we have a relationship so they can keep flirting and dating. I'm fine with that as long as I feel like they're not just going to leave me but even though they've told me that repeatedly I still can't shake the feeling of them eventually betraying me. It makes me feel pretty worthless when they flirt with others, and they even told me at some point that if someone cheats its their parners fault for not being good enough. Thanks for that. This might be because I lost a long term relationship over emotional cheating quite recently as well. That all started innocent and eventually they chose each other and my partner left me. But now all this is going on while I'm doing my best to make this new partner (if I can even call them that) feel comfortable. They say they've never had an meaningful connection with anyone and that they finally want to try opening up with me and I told them I wouldn't just leave. But if this keeps going the way it's going I can't stay. I have to choose for myself but I feel like I would break the little trust they gave me which took them effort to create. I genuinely care about this person and I don't want to just leave but they're not picking up on my concerns about my own mental health under this. I need something to change but I'm no longer certain time will be enough. I need something soon or I'm going to snap under the pressure. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried talking about it with them, but they don't seem to realize the importance of it. I know choosing for myself would be best but I can't just leave this person behind. They have nobody else who cares about them, genuinely. And they're basically falling apart due to anxiety anyways. Not sure what the point of this post was but I just needed to put it down somewhere. Thank you for reading. ",0.9257,positive,devastated
140,MentalHealthSupport,I can't choose for myself,listener_1,2,"Try and re-read what you’ve written here:   “I’m stuck”.  “They also tend to tear me apart emotionally”.   “It’s getting worse”.   “It make me feel very worthless”.   “I don’t know what to do anymore”.  Those are just a few things out of your post I picked up on, all of which are bad things to be thinking when you’re in a seemingly good, healthy relationship. I am sorry to say from an outside perspective this truly doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship in the slightest.   This person seems to know all the right things to say to keep you around whilst doing whatever they want and let me tell you- you can do so much better and you are wasting your time.   Sure you like them, sure you want to stay with them- but wanting that isn’t enough to be with someone. There has to be love, commitment, trust etc and although you may think you’re building trust with this person, I think more harm is coming from your relationship with this person than good. Usually people in happy and healthy relationships don’t write long paragraphs made up of 10% good and 90% bad.   This person in my opinion sounds emotionally manipulative, she’s blowing you hot and cold and she’s clearly messing with your mind or else you wouldn’t have felt the need to write this.   You’re going to end up getting hurt and that’s not Including the fact you’re being hurt already.   You deserve better than what you’re being given my friend and as hard as it may feel right now to let go and move on- I can assure you in the future you’ll thank yourself for it.   There are plenty more people out there that will treat you much better in a heartbeat.   This is NOT a healthy relationship. All of the warning signs are there, you’ve picked up on them. The part about this person not having many friends or something along those lines? Maybe what you’ve said about them and their behaviour says a lot about why they’ve not got any healthy relationships with anyone.   Just think about how bad you’re feeling and all you’ve said in this post etc. You deserve better.      ",0.9895,positive,sad
140,MentalHealthSupport,I can't choose for myself,speaker,3,I really needed someone to notice my story and care. This whole thing has made me feel absolutely worthless so having someone take the time to write such an extensive response has really already helped. Thanks again <3 ,0.4889,positive,grateful
140,MentalHealthSupport,I can't choose for myself,speaker,4,Thank you. Thanks so much <3 ,0.6597,positive,wishing
140,MentalHealthSupport,I can't choose for myself,speaker,5,Thank you! ,0.4199,positive,wishing
141,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for making the most out of 1 hour therapy sessions?,speaker,1,"I just started my sessions with a psychologist and felt as though the hour flew by in 10 minutes. I felt myself overwhelmed on which topics to cover and a little sidetracked at times getting deep into detail. I'm still excited to finally start therapy but want to know how to gain the most out of it, especially because I find it a bit pricey (although I can understand why it is).",0.7814,positive,apprehensive
141,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for making the most out of 1 hour therapy sessions?,listener_1,2,"I think the beginning is always hard to make the most of because you're needing to explain your past and it's a lot of background information. Once you get past those initial sessions I have found it most helpful to take notes/journal throughout the week (either about events that happened or feelings I am having specifically related to the reasons I am seeing my therapist). It's usually then that I realize what specific thing it is I want help on for that week. I usually re-read those notes right before my session which helps me better direct where I want the conversation to go. Basically, I do some pre-reflection on how I have been doing and how my week was. However, if that's not something you'd see yourself doing, even just coming into a session with a specific question or dilemma would be helpful so that there's some kind of direction and possible solution you get out of the session. ",0.9312,positive,prepared
141,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for making the most out of 1 hour therapy sessions?,listener_2,3,"hEy, ThEvIsIoN87, jUsT A QuIcK HeAdS-Up:   **AlOt** iS AcTuAlLy sPeLlEd **a lOt**. YoU CaN ReMeMbEr iT By **iT Is oNe lOt, 'a lOt'**.   hAvE A NiCe dAy!  ^^^^tHe ^^^^pArEnT ^^^^CoMmEnTeR ^^^^CaN ^^^^RePlY ^^^^WiTh ^^^^'DeLeTe' ^^^^To ^^^^dElEtE ^^^^ThIs ^^^^cOmMeNt.",0.4753,positive,disgusted
142,MentalHealthSupport,"Having a bad day, does it really get worse before it gets better when it comes to Welbutrin?",speaker,1,"My doctor just put me on welbutrin Thursday and I started the medication Friday, I haven't really felt anything different but I expected that since i know it takes weeks to feel any real effect. Today though I was driving around after my class and these sad thoughts about stuff im going through hit me really hard. I found myself just sobbing in my car on my drive home and getting overwhelmed by those thoughts. I got emotional thinking what if the Welbutrin doesnt work and I have to go to a psychiatrist which i cant afford. But I'm also going through my period cycle so idk if its the welbutrin, my cycle, the stuff im going through or a combination. But today was just exceptionally harder :(  I got prescribed welbutrin because I have just lost interest in everything except laying around watching tv and just have been depressed and having anxiety. ",-0.9607,negative,sad
142,MentalHealthSupport,"Having a bad day, does it really get worse before it gets better when it comes to Welbutrin?",listener_1,2,"YES. In my experience, it took me to my lowest and then slowly built me back up. I am thankful for Welbutrins benefits. I am back in school, back to a healthier body, and I dont have as many down days anymore. It was brutal to get used to but it does help. Just make sure to be talking to a professional while taking it, I met with the health therapist at the office once a week and it helped both myself and my Doctor figure out a balance for the dosage. ",0.8184,positive,grateful
142,MentalHealthSupport,"Having a bad day, does it really get worse before it gets better when it comes to Welbutrin?",listener_1,3,If you ever need to talk to someone please message me. It's such a frustrating feeling to feel alone and not okay. I practically lived in my bed for a year. ,-0.4149,negative,lonely
143,MentalHealthSupport,What can I do to help my girlfriend?,speaker,1,"My girlfriend (17F) recently had a mental breakdown at school. She is a straight A student who takes the most difficult subjects and also has a supportive family and friends. However, she absolutely hates herself if she doesn't get 100% on a task/test or if she isn't studying while at home. She doesn't really have any hobbies but I think it might help to take her mind off of school.   What can I do to help her?",0.8024,positive,caring
143,MentalHealthSupport,What can I do to help my girlfriend?,listener_1,2,Tell her not to be so hard on herself! Maybe give her a new show to watch or book to read. I don’t have as many hobbies either and reading always helps me take my mind off things.,0.256,positive,suggesting
143,MentalHealthSupport,What can I do to help my girlfriend?,speaker,3,"That can work, thanks!",0.4926,positive,acknowledging
143,MentalHealthSupport,What can I do to help my girlfriend?,speaker,4,"Will use some of this, thank you!",0.4883,positive,acknowledging
144,MentalHealthSupport,Where do you start?,speaker,1,"I (25f) have lived such a great life with absolutely no trauma aside from your general life events. I’m engaged, employed and yet i suddenly feel trapped in a box - i don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything besides sleep. I’m suddenly not trusting my friends or fiancé and I’m miserable at work. Where do you begin to seek help if you don’t know anything about anxiety or depression to begin with?",-0.4782,negative,lonely
144,MentalHealthSupport,Where do you start?,listener_1,2,Speak to your doctor if you can. Tel them how you feel and that you would like mental health support. They should  be able to refer you to the appropriate service.  If that's not an option  there are charities that you can talk to. The Samaritans or Mind in the uk have help lines you can call. I use the Mind social media (Elefriends) to connect to other people with issues.  In the States i think mental health America has a help line. The options avalible depend on where you live. There's  a lot of online support communities if you don't feel ready to speak to a professional ,0.9245,positive,trusting
144,MentalHealthSupport,Where do you start?,speaker,3,Thank you so much! I used ZocDoc once for finding an eye doctor and dentist - thank you for giving me in the courage and direction to go find help. ,0.9117,positive,grateful
145,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health in the Black Community,speaker,1,"In this blog post, we addressed mental health in the black community, how to deal with the stigmas and how to find comfort in seeking help. [http://www.4ormypeople.com/jah/2018/10/29/rehab-yourself](http://www.4ormypeople.com/jah/2018/10/29/rehab-yourself)",0.6369,positive,faithful
145,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health in the Black Community,listener_1,2,Why is mental health related to race in any way? Genuinely curious here.,0.3182,positive,questioning
145,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health in the Black Community,speaker,3,"Because there are different stigmas given the community. Whereas in other cultures mental health is looked at as something that everyone goes through and could be worked through with therapy, counselling and medicine, that doesn't exist in the black community. We definitely detail the differences in the piece. ",0.4019,positive,agreeing
145,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health in the Black Community,listener_2,4,"Hey just FYI I'm using Chrome and it warned me that your link is sketchy and I had to choose to ""proceed anyway"" to click through.",0.1111,positive,neutral
145,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health in the Black Community,speaker,5,thanks man. We just got everything fixed. We were working on coding this weekend. Everything is fine now. ,0.5719,positive,acknowledging
146,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support,speaker,1,I took antidepressants for years until June. I’ve been doing okay but tonight I’m struggling and don’t really have anyone I can go to about it. I tried posting for help on Whisper but all it netted me was a bunch of lewd private messages. Any advice? ,0.0772,positive,lonely
146,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support,listener_1,2,I wish I could give you better advice. But what I do I this situation until I can talk to someone is to simply binge watch TV shows. Until a friend is available.,0.7964,positive,lonely
146,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support,speaker,3,I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Binging tv has just bummed me out more. Thanks for listening (reading) though. ,0.4927,positive,sad
146,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support,speaker,4,"I’ve never heard of a chatbot before. I’m not feeling suicidal, so I didn’t call the suicide prevention hotline but I will definitely look up the other hotlines you mentioned. Thank you! ",0.7545,positive,trusting
146,MentalHealthSupport,Need some support,listener_2,5,"Try woebot.io, it’s a chatbot built on cognitive behavioral therapy, very fun to talk to and helps you process emotions ",0.7346,positive,impressed
147,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like there are 2 different people inside me. One who comes in the cold who’s extremely over sensitive who overthinks everything. And one who comes in the hot who doesn’t care about people’s opinion and is so strong opposing others.,speaker,1,"I am not the same person in the summer. Even though I really prefer cold temperatures and winter and dislike summer and hot temperatures. I am usually not sensitive in the summer. And I feel it’s not with seasons. I was so sad and irrationally thinking, then I got to take a so hot shower. I started rationally thinking, and since I am still warm from the shower. I am still rationally thinking and strong. But I guess after the warmth disappears in a few 10 minutes I would go back to the sensitive guy.",-0.1846,negative,sad
147,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like there are 2 different people inside me. One who comes in the cold who’s extremely over sensitive who overthinks everything. And one who comes in the hot who doesn’t care about people’s opinion and is so strong opposing others.,listener_1,2,All I can think about this is some kind of seasonal depression?  It's extremely interesting.,-0.1796,negative,questioning
147,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like there are 2 different people inside me. One who comes in the cold who’s extremely over sensitive who overthinks everything. And one who comes in the hot who doesn’t care about people’s opinion and is so strong opposing others.,speaker,3,"Everyone tells me that. It seems the meds don’t do anything. Can anyone please tell me a med that is best for SAD. I’ve been using Cipralex for 9 months. I really want to change it, the med seems really useless. ",0.0431,neutral,disappointed
148,MentalHealthSupport,Person Won't Leave Me Alone,speaker,1,"There is a user who won't leave me alone. Spammed BOTH my posts asking for help. I deleted them bc I was getting overwhelmed. I am a PTSD sufferer and he triggered it. He knows and all he says is for me to keep my emotions in check whilst at the same time provoking me. What do I do? Please help. My PTSD and anxiety has been extremely high all day. What do I do? I reported his account, but he has lots of Karma, meaning he's a regular so I doubt anything will be done. :(",-0.7739,negative,annoyed
148,MentalHealthSupport,Person Won't Leave Me Alone,listener_1,2,"If the admins are worth anything, it won't matter if this idiot has a lot of karma - they should ban the user if they're being abusive.",-0.8827,negative,angry
148,MentalHealthSupport,Person Won't Leave Me Alone,speaker,3,"Yeah well, someone with a shield thingy next to their name did nothing but admonish us both. Him for being terrible, and me for telling him to stop being terrible. I guess simply defending yourself warrants admonishment now. :\\",-0.8735,negative,neutral
148,MentalHealthSupport,Person Won't Leave Me Alone,speaker,4,"I kept asking repeatedly to leave me alone. And he didn't. I had to delete my question and never got it answered. :(  But see, he has high Karma, so he's a regular. There was someone with a shield next to their name, which I assume is someone important. They told him stop spamming me with rude comments, then admonished ME for telling him to leave me alone and stop being pretentious. I don't know what my comment said that was out of line. I can't report what he did either. I reported his account, but nothing's been done. So I kinda just decided to let it go. I mean, I can't do anything. I am not admin or moderator. ",-0.9672,negative,annoyed
149,MentalHealthSupport,"22, been laid off 3 times, working as an RA at a retirement home and not enjoying it, living with my parents, lonely, depressed, struggling with a language disorder, terrified to go back to school. Help!",speaker,1,"I am a 22 year old young adult living with my parents still. So far in my young adult life, I dropped out of college at 19 as it wasn’t a good fit for me. Been jumping from job to job ever since. What makes me really upset about this so far is that I wanted to find a job to balance out what I truly want in life, but am too afraid to tell everybody I know to this day. I have quit jobs that didn’t work out, and the jobs that were starting to work out I’ve been laid off at. I’ve always, ALWAYS wanted to create my own business, but with the situation I’m in right now, it’s really hard to start. I’m working at a retirement home as a resident assistant, and while I enjoy the elderly people’s company, I find this job to be super exhausting to figure out how I’m going to balance this job and start creating what I want to do (I want to make entertaining videos btw. Been wanting to express that for a while now). I only started this job about a month ago, and it’s a huge adjustment from my previous jobs. I don’t know if I want to stay at this job for very long. I have been exhausting my way to know what I want, but not having started feels like a huge waste of time. My parents are pretty much frustrated with me at this point, but I’m not sure how to express to them what I really want to do with my life and how they’ll react. This is nothing new btw. I’ve struggled with MERLD (Mixed Expressive Receptive Language Disorder) since I was little. School was always a struggle for me, and I never saw a future with getting a college degree. I know getting a certificate is more common now, but it’s still frustrating. I feel as if the weight I’ve been carrying will never subside.  I didn’t deserve what has happened to me over the past 3-4 years now. I feel like a completely different person now because of it. I’m stressed beyond belief, I get frequent headaches/migraines, I’m depressed as hell, I have no friends, I’m almost broke again, and seeing my family for get togethers has proven to be more painful now....I basically have no quality of life whatsoever. I need advice. Anything will help. ",-0.9395,negative,ashamed
149,MentalHealthSupport,"22, been laid off 3 times, working as an RA at a retirement home and not enjoying it, living with my parents, lonely, depressed, struggling with a language disorder, terrified to go back to school. Help!",listener_1,2,Why not make funny videos with the elderly? It might brighten their day.,0.1265,positive,caring
149,MentalHealthSupport,"22, been laid off 3 times, working as an RA at a retirement home and not enjoying it, living with my parents, lonely, depressed, struggling with a language disorder, terrified to go back to school. Help!",speaker,3,"I think that would break the rules of my job description lol, but that would be pretty cool nonetheless.",0.8462,positive,acknowledging
150,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosis.,speaker,1,"So basically, for about 10 years I’ve been struggling on and off with a bad depression and mood swings. Due to the effects that depression can cause, I’ve always put everything down to the depression. The lack of sleep, the hardly eating, the lack of motivation, all pointed towards depression.   Basically I’m 23 now, so the “depression” started around 13. (Around the time that I started puberty).   See, the past year has been a really tough one, worse than usual. So I actually sought out medical advice from a doctor and therapist. Surprise surprise, they agreed it was just depression, and prescribed me tablets. These tablets didn’t actually affect my moods what so ever. What they did do, however, is allow me to concentrate for a short period.   The brain has always been somewhat of a fascination for me, due to me not being “normal” and enjoying things like everyone else, I’ve always wanted to know what was wrong.  These short periods of concentration actually provided a lot more help than I first realised. As these short periods provided me with a feeling of restlessness. After a few weeks I decided to look into the brain and figure out what was wrong with me.   THIS is where you should pay attention.  You see, depression causes a lot of problems. Affecting; sleep, appetite, sex drive, and motivation, to name a few.  HOWEVER, These effects also apply to a testosterone deficiency in the body.  This is where I started proper reading into it. You see, as it is a genetic problem, it’s not easily picked up on. However, a lot of the effects caused from depression, also come from the lack of testosterone. But since depression is so common in this age,  it seems to be the go to for medical experts.  I’d highly suggest to anyone, who is suffering with any of this. To try your very best to pinpoint when it all started and go back and figure out what went wrong. The thing with depression is that it requires a trigger.   Depression itself is actually a chemical imbalance in the brains, caused from a lack of serotonin receptors. However, in 9 out of 10 cases, the receptors stop sending so much around the body as it has adapted to the amount of serotonin your brain is requesting.  Back to the trigger. For the brain to lower it’s required serotonin levels, would usually mean that a traumatic event has happened at some point in your life, which would constantly lower the serotonin levels. (Which is where “feeling low” comes from.) this would convince your brain, that this period is a sad period for you, meaning your body will easily trick itself into not producing enough serotonin. Which is another reason for “seasonal depression.”  So what I’m saying, is, that if you can’t figure it out where it “went wrong”, and it’s becoming more and more of a repeated mood. Please, ask your doctor to check your testosterone levels. Depression is a killer, so to be told you have this when it’s actually your body doing it, can make you feel helpless and stuck in a rut. So please, don’t forget about your testosterone.   If you know anyone stuck like this, please show it to them. It could help someone a lot more than you realise.   Also, If you don’t wish to approach your doctor. The most common ways to increase your testosterone are; 1) exercise. It doesn’t have to be heavy weights or even the gym, but testosterone is naturally pumped around the body through exercise. It is important, even if it’s just walking to shop instead of driving, give it a try, it could help. 2) natural light. Another way to increase serotonin and testosterone levels is through natural light. (Not always sun) our body requires up to an hour of natural light a day, we don’t know why, it just does. I’d imagine it to be similar to photosynthesis in plants. 3)testosterone reboot therapy. This isn’t the actual word for it and I can’t remember it, but if the prior two fail, this is actually quite common in this age. Your doctor will be able to point you in the right direction.  Thanks for reading. I hope this helps someone else as much as it has helped me to learn. ",-0.9815,negative,sad
150,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosis.,listener_1,2,"Serotonin lack theory has been debunked lately.  Its more perceives as a way to get through the issue than curing it. Sadly, it's more than this.  There is a lot of reading on these late discoveries.   For myself, nothing helps, not even shrooms or ketamine, or ECT. And for SSRI, they just give me serotonin syndrome.",-0.7418,negative,disappointed
150,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosis.,speaker,3,"I wasn’t on about serotonin lack theory, serotonin is the chemical in your brain that inspires feelings of happiness...  like I said, check your testosterone levels.. it’s amazing how similar the effects are",0.8885,positive,neutral
150,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosis.,speaker,4,"I appreciate this, it’s really valuable information and I didn’t actually know anything about it. Unfortunately as with me, my theory seems to apply more to my experiences. I actually do maintain a healthy diet, balanced meals, and drink water constantly. I also visit the steam room once a month and exercise regularly, as well as 5 mile bike rides a day, along with cycling too and from work (7 miles) I just still seem to be stuck in a rut. That’s why I’ve posted this, I thought I was just broke for years, and that I was just a miscarriage gone wrong sort of thing. I just felt this world wasn’t really meant for me or vice versa, as I tried every solution that was thrown at me and nothing worked.   However, once reading about this everything seemed to make a bit more sense, made me realise I wasn’t the next potential suicide victim or attemptee, and it actually gave me something to hold on to. I’m not awaiting results and have hope for a normal, healthy, and hopefully long lasting future.   Hopefully, this post or the valuable information in the comments (much appreciated by the way.) can help another poor lost soul who turns to the internet for guidance.",0.8748,positive,trusting
150,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosis.,listener_2,5,This warms my heart and I wish the you the best in your journey to a long happy life. ,0.9509,positive,wishing
151,MentalHealthSupport,.,speaker,1,I think I actually want to die. My girlfriend means the world to me but she never wants to hang out outside of school and texting her and not seeing her legitimate reactions gets boring. Sometimes I feel too real and sometimes I don’t feel real enough.  My dad hates me and my siblings. I’m barely functioning in school and I know I won’t get anywhere in the future. But I’m too scared to kill myself. So here I am. ,-0.9661,negative,ashamed
151,MentalHealthSupport,.,listener_1,2,Hey. Do you want to DM me? :) ,0.5106,positive,questioning
151,MentalHealthSupport,.,speaker,3,"Maybe, thank you :) ",0.6705,positive,suggesting
152,MentalHealthSupport,So. Much. Anxiety.,speaker,1,"I definitely made a completely new reddit account via completely new email just to make this post, that's how paranoid/anxious I am.  ​  I don't even want to give a bunch of details via this I just want to say...  ​  I just need help. I have tried ( I feel) Everyone close to me has basically implied (in my mind) that I'm not trying hard enough and that's why I'm not ""getting better"", the only person that has acknowledged my effort has been my personal therapist, and even him I kind of skipped out on our appointment next week. I feel PARALYZED by fear at EVERYTHING. and I just need someone to talk to, someone to help me slowly get out of this. I have tried inpatient treatment twice, and both times it has NOT HELPED. Apparently my state (I am US-side) is one of the worst in the country for mental health help, which is pretty crap anyway as far as I understand it. I don't have money to pay... for anything. One of the reasons I'm freaking out so bad. I've even found out from my case worker that even with the documentation I have to go off of in order to get on disability I'd have to wait around 6 months for the court hearing and then, she said, if it's a mental health issue, they literally ALWAYS, 100% of the time, turn you down the first hearing. she said if you're lucky they'll grant it to you the second hearing but that's just how things are here. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm falling apart. I need help. I have no one left except very limited support and even that is from my abusive parents, but I can usually get a little money from them if I need it at least as long as I play nice. I just.... I don't know.   ​  The problem is, I feel like I've dug my own grave here, I'm being punished for being a complete piece of garbage, but even if that's true, how the hell am I supposed to fix this on my own? and I feel like if I open up in any way I will be accused of seeking attention, be told I'm not suffering enough, be criticized for not 'pulling myself up by my bootstraps' I just can't see any way to fix this and I feel like I'm suffocating in a room that's getting smaller and smaller and I just don't know what to do about it.  ​  Any help is appreciated :(",-0.4124,negative,apprehensive
152,MentalHealthSupport,So. Much. Anxiety.,listener_1,2,"If you need anyone to talk to, mail me at shreyasmel@gmail.com",0.0,neutral,lonely
152,MentalHealthSupport,So. Much. Anxiety.,speaker,3,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
153,MentalHealthSupport,Self harm help,speaker,1,"Is there anyone with previous experience who can chat? I had a mental health assessment via the NHS, it resulted in going back to the drs and cbt. I thought a section 136 would get me proper help after it had happened, turns out I'm back at square one and really! Ready to cut again. Don't know what to do nor what all the numbers I was given even mean",0.5301,positive,apprehensive
153,MentalHealthSupport,Self harm help,listener_1,2,Send me a message,0.0,neutral,suggesting
153,MentalHealthSupport,Self harm help,speaker,3,Donedid,0.0,neutral,disgusted
153,MentalHealthSupport,Self harm help,speaker,4,I'm here if I can help at all xx,0.4019,positive,sympathizing
154,MentalHealthSupport,Overcoming severe jealousy?,speaker,1,"This is an issue I've struggled with all my life, and it's come to a point where I constantly feel depressed and worthless because of it, despite constant self-talk and reasoning. I am fully aware of the irrationality of these feelings, but somehow I still feel them to the same extent I always have.  I grew up with very distant parents who never bothered talking to me about feelings, and never really listened or understood when I tried to express my own. I've gone my life craving emotional intimacy and closeness, but I never got it. Then, a few years ago I met someone who fulfilled everything I emotionally needed. She listened and empathized so well that I subconsciously saw her as a motherly figure. Unfortunately, I proceeded to get very attached and possessive of her. Over the years we only had each other. We went through hell and back together. I can read her like a book, and I support her emotionally as well.   Recently, she made a new (definitely platonic) friend. He is very emotionally needy, and she talks to him and helps him through his issues, and he listens to hers  This in itself didn't bother me, but now they've become very close. Now, instead of coming to me for advice or help, she goes to him. When he speaks, she listens very intently and is genuinely interested in everything he says. They now spend time together without me, and I know that they have secrets together.   After all these years of my friend and I being closer than sisters, and only having each other, this her friendship with this guy has made me a jealous, depressed, insecure wreck.  I (irrationally) feel so rejected and alone now that she has someone else that she shares her soul with. It makes me feel like I'm lacking in something, and that she loves him more than me. Now it seems like she's so used to me that I'm a bit of a bore.   I didn't mean for this post to be so long. I just feel like I'm losing my mind over this, and the worst part is I know how irrational it is and yet I can't sleep over it. Any advice is welcome.",0.7587,positive,ashamed
154,MentalHealthSupport,Overcoming severe jealousy?,listener_1,2,"It's okay to be jealous. You just need to accept your behaviour. And, not focus too much on that behaviour. It's there, and let it be. Treat it like a car in the traffic, it's there, it's a problem for the big cause, but there's nothing you would want to do about it. Watch it, till the traffic gets cleared. Instead of doing that, you'll add up more trouble to the traffic problem - by creating fights with the driver, honking, etc. ",-0.7919,negative,angry
154,MentalHealthSupport,Overcoming severe jealousy?,listener_1,3,"Also, turn on the music in your car. It helps. By that, I mean to find ways to distract yourself from the behaviour (which exists in its own terms). If you want to end that behaviour or take action upon it, do it with a clever approach. Which can be help from others. ",0.7506,positive,annoyed
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,speaker,1,"I’ve been suffering with depression for a few years now, this year however it gradually got worse due to my eating disorder. I’m currently undergoing therapy and I’m doing the best I can in my current situation- however I just have no motivation. Getting out of bed in the morning is such a mammoth task, going for a shower, brushing my teeth, drinking water, leaving my room for the day etc- it’s all so daunting and hard. I worry that the amount I struggle with these little everyday tasks how am I ever going to be able to beat this? Anybody who has or is suffering- how do you combat motivation, how do you push yourself to get better? ",-0.9419,negative,anxious
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,listener_1,2,"One thing I like to do is follow people on YouTube to lift me up. Make a playlists of videos that are ACTUALLY helpful, such as meditations, self love, motivation, etc. it’s really great to exchange ideas with others and learn! And even if you already know the advice you’re being given, heading someone else’s spin on it could be so helpful. And when you’re feeling too unmotivated to even search for a video, you’ll have a whole roster of videos in a queue for you, and you have a 100% guarantee that they will provide you with value!   There’s a huge mental health community on YouTube. Go and find it! My suggestion is to start with “bignoknow.”",0.9766,positive,trusting
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,speaker,3,Thankyou so much for your suggestion. I really appreciate it! :) I’ll give this a try for sure. ,0.8338,positive,acknowledging
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,listener_1,4,Of course! Good luck. ,0.7345,positive,wishing
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,speaker,5,"I appreciate you for replying to me. I think writing makes me feel ‘normal’ again, also photography. I know I need to try to do these things more but I just can’t find the motivation to push myself.   I’m very thankful for people like you. Thankyou <3",0.9286,positive,grateful
155,MentalHealthSupport,I want to beat my depression but I have no motivation.,listener_2,6,Of course!! writing and photography make me feel alive. I hear you :) ,0.7339,positive,agreeing
156,MentalHealthSupport,Physical pain doesn’t help.,speaker,1,"A lot of people who self harm say that the physical pain helps.   I am someone who struggles with self harm to a very moderate degree when compared to the average. The behaviors I engage in are mainly scratching, punching, pinching, or smacking myself.I do my best to do harm reduction, and because of that, for the vast majority of times, I don’t draw blood and I don’t leave any lasting impact beyond several hours-24 hours.  I now stay away from hitting myself in the head or banging my heads but I stay away from that now, and instead, I smack myself to kind of scratch the itch.   I haven’t self harmed in a while now (as in months!) and I’m actually quite proud of myself! I’ve wanted to a lot lately, but I’ve resisted every time. Though I fear I may relapse when I go visit home for the next month, because it’s a really bad environment. You have my word that I won’t give up without a fight though! Last time I visited home, I abstained from self harm for the first time being there, but it was only a week, and by the end I was losing my mind.   A big thing for a lot of people who engage in self injurious behavior is that they want to feel something, so they cause pain.  However, for me, it’s typically because I want to punish myself and/or because I am unable to release a certain emotion and I need to let it this energy somehow. Instead of acting out, yelling, or taking things out on others, I do it to myself. I’d much rather it this way, because nobody else deserves to deal with the pain I’m feeling. People have there own stuff to worry about, and if they choose to be there for me as a friend, that’s cool. But I refuse to make someone else who I love suffer because I’m suffering. So yes, I am doing my darndest to quit this bad behavior, but honestly, I would much rather suffer myself than hurt anyone else.   That whole idea brings tears to my eyes. I feel so strongly about it, but thinking about it hurts so much.   It also hurts when I scratch myself until there are red marks all up and down. I actually HATE the pain. I feel like that’s kind of uncommon amongst self harmers—to hate the sensation, but I do.   It’s terrifying and I hate how it feels and it feels like someone is assaulting me and I have no control over what they do to me. I suppose that’s me acting out my past trauma.   But yeah, I was thinking about my relationship with self harm just now, and I got really emotional, thinking about how much it physically hurts and how scary it is when I’m being assaulted by myself. It feels like I’m an innocent child again, being decimated by people who have authority over me, and because of that, I often regress to the thoughts pattern of a young child when I think about or carry out self harm. I am a 19 year old female who is wise behind her years. Yet, right now, all I want to do is cuddle my stuffed animal read a story book.   I guess I could just use some kind words or advice in the comments. Maybe some internet love can heal my heart tonight. Thank you for taking the time to read.   I have no desire to hurt myself currently, just in case anyone else is worried.    If you can relate to my struggle, my heart goes out to you. We’re both going to survive this. ",-0.9969,negative,proud
156,MentalHealthSupport,Physical pain doesn’t help.,listener_1,2,"i agree with you, thank you for sharing it’s really awesome to let other people know about this. ",0.9041,positive,agreeing
156,MentalHealthSupport,Physical pain doesn’t help.,speaker,3,"Wow, I genuinely can’t believe that this post helped someone. At the same time, I’m so grateful that it has!   Your kind words have also helped me, so thank you :)   Good luck on your journey. ",0.9743,positive,grateful
157,MentalHealthSupport,Siblings with Mental Illnesses,speaker,1,"I have a question for al those that have siblings with mental health issues in their lives - whether that be bipolar, depression, OCD, etc. Do you ever just want to walk away from your siblings? Does their diagnosis feel like it’s dragging you down as well? How supportive can you be to someone who drags you down with them? ",0.3049,positive,questioning
157,MentalHealthSupport,Siblings with Mental Illnesses,listener_1,2,Only to an extent. Make sure you watch out for yourself in all of this as this can be incredibly draining. ,0.3182,positive,consoling
157,MentalHealthSupport,Siblings with Mental Illnesses,speaker,3,"Thanks! Every conversation is about my sibling. I have moments where I feel completely taxed and don’t speak for days. And the days we don’t speak feel like a holiday and a needed respite. I know my sibling needs me, but it’s a very one sided relationship at this point. ",0.5916,positive,lonely
157,MentalHealthSupport,Siblings with Mental Illnesses,listener_1,4,Set some boundaries. It can only be one sided if you let it. ,0.0,neutral,angry
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,speaker,1,"I am envious. All the time. About everything.  It consumes parts of my life and my self-esteem is constantly at rock-bottom. It makes me wish that I was somebody else and it manifests itself in stupid things like how I end up focussing on my body and the flaws it has. I fear situations where people might find out how lousy I really am.  Basically, I envy everybody around me, including my husband who has a really nice job with a cool title, while I have one of those whatever jobs without a cool title, that people don't really think about at all. I envy my siblings.   I fear going into gyms or go out running, because my envy makes me feel small beside those beautiful people. I buy nice expensive clothes that I never wear, because I don't think that I deserve wearing them because I am ugly and on the curvier side. I don't dare playing online games because I envy those who have real skills. I change my opinion all the time when talking to people, because I'm scared they'll judge me. I feel ashamed of the books I read because they're not ""cool"". Who the F thinks classical literature is cool? I'm ashamed of playing Pokemon casually, because cool people are really hardcore about it. I had a small, intimate wedding which was absolutely perfect and was one of the best days of my life, but I don't have huge party pictures from a castle and me wearing a 5000 dollar dress to show people. I envy the people who take exotic vacations every month (it seems like), I envy the ones fitting into 27in jeans, I envy every woman who is above 5ft5 just because they're closer to model size, I envy the women who are skinny, women who are not hour-glass shaped, I envy couples who give each other flowers and gifts every day, I envy everybody who lives in a cool city........ the list is never-ending.  ​  The sad thing in all of this is that I'm not exactly 17, I'm 35 and I have such a problem letting go of my envy and my self-loathing.  How do I overcome this? I feel like I should have things down by now. I feel like being married and having a decent job and looking plain should be enough to make me content, but it's not. I have been thinking about at least getting beautiful would change something, loosing enough weight to be a size 0, getting some botox and a boob job may make my life more positive. I've even googled prices of leg-lengthening surgery, just to be an inch taller (I'm average height)!  ​  Any of you guys out there who have worked through issues like these, or who are in the process? All support is great appreciated.  ​",0.9401,positive,jealous
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,listener_1,2,You are an exemple of a woman a man should avoid dating or marrying. Sorry to break it down for you. You're just a weak! You give up your battles ane challenges before they even start. You have all the provisions and all the money and tools to get what you want but prefer to sit back and give up already. Very few people can have empathy for you sorry... Just put on your big girl panties in and deal with it ok? Grow up.,-0.6049,negative,sad
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,speaker,3,"Well, thank you. I guess that’s what I’ll do then. I guess I failed life. I guess weakness is getting through higher education in a competitive field, battling a rare life-long medical condition that is going to kill me before I turn 50 and putting on a brave face every day. Hoping for a break is probably just vain.",-0.6369,negative,content
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,listener_2,4,"Unicorn girl----I wouldn't listen too much to alvarius9. I think what you have is more common then people like to admit. I think you have to work hard on it every single day to not compare yourself and to be grateful for what you have and who you are! Try to practice gratitude and dig deeper into self-awareness. Why are you truly so jealous? Do you and your husband fight about your jealousy? I am very insecure but I am a size 27. I can admit that I am attractive? But, I still compare myself to the models on instagram or the beauty in magazines. I think true beauty lies within your character. I want to practice not to be jealous so I can be a more beautiful person on the inside. It is really really hard and I want to seek professional help. ",0.9854,positive,jealous
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,speaker,5,"Because getting sick was the greatest shame in my life. In my family you simply ”don’t get sick”. I lost the prospects of a military officer career and had to give up my athletic goals in order to get medically stable, for two years. Side note; mom refused to go to hospital until her appendix had already burst and my grandma died from preventable causes because she ”didn’t want to burden anybody or seem like a weak old lady”.  It’s alright, I understand that my post might have seem like ranting and your judging was called for. Chronic disease is just so shameful, because it points to my genetic faults. That’s why I don’t mention it. My husband didn’t even know until after 8 months of dating.",-0.9121,negative,ashamed
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,speaker,6,"Thanks! No, we don’t argue at all about my envy. It’s more that there’s always the nagging feeling that I must have done things completely wrong in my life. I know I’m not attractive and I guess I have to live with that, but do you feel that you are treated better and get more chances? I feel like I might not be a good person and have a good character. I do what I can, I help whenever I’m asked to, I work unpaid when somebody at work needs help, I happily do boring things for people to make them happy. But maybe such things are not enough.",0.9722,positive,jealous
158,MentalHealthSupport,My envy and self-loathing is eating me.,listener_2,7,"If you love the person you are with and he or she loves you back then why are you so obsessed with beauty or with what the world defines beauty as ? I was bullied all through high school, I was made fun of, I was always compared to. I find that the most beautiful people are not beautiful because of their looks, but because of their soul. You are enough. You have life so live! Be grateful for your lover, your good friends, and for things that make you happy. Throw away all that negative talk because it just becomes negative chatter that tends to go on repeat. Stop bullying yourself. If you want to be healthy, work for change! ",0.9543,positive,grateful
159,MentalHealthSupport,any advice on how to get therapy under these conditions (open to talking with anyone and any suggestions),speaker,1,"i am 18 and have suffered from (undiagnosed) trichotillomania in the past (from ages 12-14) and believe i have developed dermatillomania, mainly on my face. i also believe myself to have some sort of undiagnosed mental illness or condition that spurs or worsens my skin-picking. i can’t tell my parents and i don’t have much money. now that i am a legal adult, is it possible to get therapy/ a psychiatrist without my parents knowing and it costing a fortune? ive tried the counselors at my high school but they haven’t helped much at all. please any advice or tips are welcome and i will talk to anyone, im just in a rough place right now and i want to get better before it gets worse.  hope everyone has a happy new year  ",0.9224,positive,afraid
159,MentalHealthSupport,any advice on how to get therapy under these conditions (open to talking with anyone and any suggestions),listener_1,2,"Are you in the US? Yes, you are 18 and don’t need their consent to get therapy. Check to see what your insurance covers! If not, there are therapists that would provide you services on a sliding scale. ",0.5983,positive,trusting
159,MentalHealthSupport,any advice on how to get therapy under these conditions (open to talking with anyone and any suggestions),listener_2,3,If you're not in the US like I am (Canadian here) there are plenty government programs like telehealth or the mental health hotline that can point you to the right direction for programs that are free and that specialize in your particular area ,0.8074,positive,agreeing
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,speaker,1,Has anyone ever voluntarily checked themselves into a mental hospital? I’m thinking about it because I’m so overwhelmed. I’m afraid to do it and afraid not to do it .,0.1571,positive,apprehensive
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,listener_1,2,You can't check yourself into a mental hospital.  It's not a hotel.  You can go to the emergency department for an evaluation and the attending will decide whether or not you require admission.,-0.3818,negative,apprehensive
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,speaker,3,Except you can. I’ve found lots of articles that talk about people checking themselves into a mental hospital and what to expect. A local hospital here has a whole information page about how to request admission for inpatient services. My therapist has been urging me to consider doing so. The state has laws on the books about how to voluntarily check yourself into inpatient mental health services. Why would all that exist if you couldn’t do it? ,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,listener_1,4,Voluntary check in is contingent on a doctor recommending you for admission.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,speaker,5,"Yeah, I’ve got that part covered. I didn’t ask how to do it or what I need. I’ve got all that. I’m asking for personal experiences from people who have done it. ",0.29600000000000004,positive,trusting
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,listener_1,6,It entirely depends on the hospital.  Some are horrible and traumatizing and some are very healing and helpful.  Best to ask using the name of the unit to find people who've been on that particular one.  ,0.1189,positive,apprehensive
160,MentalHealthSupport,Voluntary commitment?,listener_2,7,Oh my god I'm glad to hear you did it and it went well. I'm also considering it at some point - would you mind sharing your experience? What were the steps to get in and what was the program you were in like? Was it a certain kind of therapy/ technique etc?,0.9207,positive,questioning
161,MentalHealthSupport,"Quit my job, and it didn’t end well...",speaker,1,"Welp, I quit my job on January 3rd, and it didn’t end well. I worked as an RA at a retirement home, and the job got to a point where I was having crying spells non-stop. So stupidly, I decided to go to this “meeting” (I put that in quotes bc it wasn’t really a meeting. It was just paperwork I should’ve gotten when I started), and then after, I would give my manager my 2 weeks. Well, needless to say, it didn’t end well. She told me that I wasted her and the other lady’s time, and said I took advantage of her. After that confrontation, I left and never looked back. I called my mom, and was balling telling her everything, and how she was friends with her (they know each other from working out). Later on, I texted the manager back, and told her I felt like I was being taken advantage of for not having proper training to begin with, and then told her I quit. She then went on to say that I hurt my coworkers, and everybody who was a part of the retirement home, and then to not use her as a reference.... I’ll admit, it was stupid on my part for going to this “meeting”, but when you’ve worked at a job long enough to know how taxing it is, and it’s all you can think about anymore, you start losing your mind over it and don’t know what you’re doing anymore. I’ve had jobs that ended horribly, but nothing like this. After our text fight was over, I’ve been extremely upset because I now need another job, but am too afraid to go seek for one, as my previous jobs didn’t do me justice either. I feel like everything I do now is pointless. I’m sick of living a life where I’m miserable all the time, and I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I really do hurt people now...even the elderly I got to know...and don’t think I can handle it anymore 😞",-0.9826,negative,ashamed
161,MentalHealthSupport,"Quit my job, and it didn’t end well...",listener_1,2,Sorry to hear that you've had such an unfair experience!  Do you have a good friend that you can talk to to get someone else's opinion on what you've been through?  I find that trying to understand what's happened around me is important as it's never just ourselves to blame.  A good boss/team at work should support you and not point fingers.  Keep your chin up!,0.8065,positive,sympathizing
161,MentalHealthSupport,"Quit my job, and it didn’t end well...",speaker,3,"Thank you so much! Right now, I still feel weak after what happened yesterday, but I know it’ll get better. I need time to figure out what I’m gonna do next instead of forcing myself on something I don’t wanna do.",0.6049,positive,grateful
161,MentalHealthSupport,"Quit my job, and it didn’t end well...",listener_2,4,Yes exactly! There isn’t a rush. Better to wait than to jump into something.  I believe in you. ,0.7088,positive,agreeing
162,MentalHealthSupport,Question,speaker,1,I'm trying to figure out in the age group of 20-29  What's your biggest struggle to balance in life right now ?? ,-0.3939,negative,questioning
162,MentalHealthSupport,Question,listener_1,2,Work and social life.. (I’m 29),0.0,neutral,guilty
162,MentalHealthSupport,Question,speaker,3,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
163,MentalHealthSupport,How do I start the process of SSI for bipolar?,speaker,1,"From the ground up. No records of doctors, psychiatrists, medications, psychologists,  nothing. Currently I have no primary care physician, no psych or shrink, nothing. I am ensured with medicaid. A single, very recent, 52/50 on file. I am 21. I am homeless, have no family, and no assets. I know this will be long. I'm just looking for the first step. I started displaying manic depressive symptoms as a young child but was never treated for it. Left home as a minor. No basic education.  Just seeking someone who has been there or somewhere similar before who can offer me advice. Sorry if it's the wrong sub ",-0.9284,negative,lonely
163,MentalHealthSupport,How do I start the process of SSI for bipolar?,listener_1,2,"In my town there was a lady who visited the public library every week for the sole purpose of helping people get SSI. She was invaluable to me in the process.   Check with your local library for somebody like that. If there’s nobody, they might have some leads. Use the free computers there to google search for social workers who help with ssi in your town. I don’t know what town you live in, but there may be somebody. If no luck, go talk to homeless shelters in your area. They have tons of resources like that.   You will probably need to get diagnosed but I’m not sure if that’s necessary. When you check these places for resources, ask if there are any programs in the area that could get you diagnosed. I know for me I ended up in a program called EASA which is government funded and they never charge for a visit, whether you have insurance or not. They got me diagnosed and weekly therapy for two and a half years, they administered meds, etc.   This second part is really important for treating your mental health. Can I ask what state you live in? I could try to help you look. Feel free to PM me. ",0.9271,positive,trusting
163,MentalHealthSupport,How do I start the process of SSI for bipolar?,speaker,3,Yes I do have an address to receive mail thankfully.  I know it will be a long uphill battle. Thank you for your insight ,0.6597,positive,agreeing
164,MentalHealthSupport,*Advice* Where do I go from here?,speaker,1,"I have bipolar and can get very destructive. I've been in a 3 year relationship and thought I came a long way. I used to have outbreaks at least every day 2 months. For about the past year I worked really hard and didn't have one. Until today.  Today I lashed out over something I had the right to be mad at, but obviously doesn't excuse my behavior. We live in an apartment so when I yell and have a fit I feel so ashamed all around, and am terrified to leave the house and face people. We were late to our private dance lessons but I was literally paralyzed to move toward the door. Every step and my head gets louder and I feel like I will explode. I made him go alone instead of cancel so late. Which is weird because its be a male instructor with male student. Now I feel the instructor will hate me. It was a weird thing to do. I will now feel shame living in this apartment (I know this because this is how I felt in the last one when I was in a worse state) and when going to dance. I feel stupid and childish for being scared and not being able to go. Also my day is just ruined as I cant believe I fucked up so bad. Where do I go from here? ",-0.9941,negative,ashamed
164,MentalHealthSupport,*Advice* Where do I go from here?,listener_1,2,I don't clearly understand what happened.  You became paralyzed and then sounds in your head were so loud you thought you would explode?  And then you told some guy to go somewhere alone?  ,-0.56,negative,questioning
164,MentalHealthSupport,*Advice* Where do I go from here?,speaker,3,Okay not literally paralyzed but moving to the door just was terrifying. Shouldn't have been so melodramatic. But the rest is not unclear I think.,-0.5408,negative,neutral
164,MentalHealthSupport,*Advice* Where do I go from here?,listener_1,4,It's very unclear.  Can you please go into more detail?,0.0018,neutral,questioning
164,MentalHealthSupport,*Advice* Where do I go from here?,speaker,5,I've made adjustments to the OP.,0.0,neutral,confident
165,MentalHealthSupport,My life seems overwhelming and hopeless,speaker,1,"I am a 24 year old female that has been diagnosed with severe anxiety, ptsd, depression. I moved from “home” after I graduated high school. I moved to another state on the west coast and I found a lot of my stressors and triggers to be temporarily gone... I built myself up, had a great career and great friends. About a year ago my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer that has spread from his prostate to his bone and he was in very bad condition. I thought I was strong enough to come back to the toxic environment from which I fled to be of help and care to my father who in the end will die from this diagnosis. I was very wrong and my mental stability has plummeted to the ground. I don’t have many or really anyone to talk to and I feel as if I just have to get this out before it blows up. I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated and I wish I could have some kind of control. My family is as textbook dysfunctional as it gets and is very toxic to me. But I love and respect my father and I want his quality of life to be good for the time he has left. My sisters were his caregivers these past years I’ve been away and recently have found out that they have neglected him in some profound ways. He was recently admitted into the hospital and was seen by a palliative care hospice doctor but as of now he’s doing alright. I’m financially stressed because I still have to work full time to support myself and my sisters could care less about anything but themselves. They unfortunately have this pity me view on life instead of problem solving on how to make it better. I feel so Alone and over whelmed and bottled up. I am at my newest lowest I have been in a while and I’m not sure where to turn or how to ask for help. I can’t count on my sisters or any of my family for support. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thank you for reading. ",0.9821,positive,devastated
165,MentalHealthSupport,My life seems overwhelming and hopeless,listener_1,2,"Hi, I'm a woman in my early 40's and can personally relate to your diagnosis as I have those and more, family dysfunction and how it manifests as our parents age and pass away. My Dad is my best friend, business partner for about a decade and I think the person who likely knows me best in this world. He's 85 now, survived bladder cancer in 2012 with a radical removal of that system and now uses a urostomy bag, Since then, he has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and is now in the end stages.  I'll spare you all the details of how I've somehow survive this far in my comment here. You're welcome to direct message me any time.   Basically, yes this will drive you insane, even an otherwise healthy person can go insane for these pressures along with anything else. The single most important thing I found to help me as a shut-in has been online support groups.  It took me some time finding groups that were a decent to good fit for me, and from there I was able to identify with other people who were somehow surviving this too. I've heard in-person support groups work well too, but those aren't an option for me for now.  In any case, don't give up on seeking support for yourself. I've found it's impossible to do this alone, and healthcare professionals are limited in access, time, and the scope of their care often won't cover these critical areas. I hope you can find some relief from those feelings and support and you love and honor your Dad. I wish you both love and comfort on this journey together.   ",0.9952,positive,trusting
165,MentalHealthSupport,My life seems overwhelming and hopeless,listener_2,3,Still alive Christine? That diabetes is wreaking havoc on your organs as we speak. RIP soon. ;),-0.1027,negative,wishing
165,MentalHealthSupport,My life seems overwhelming and hopeless,listener_2,4,Old and diabetic too. RIP lol,0.4215,positive,acknowledging
166,MentalHealthSupport,Ovwhelmed and lack of motivation,speaker,1,"I have a lot going on in my life. I'm 17 years old and I'm currently in foster care. I just got admitted to university this past week, I'm struggling with a couple of my highschool classes, and I'm dealing with the trauma of my past. (You gotta be in foster care for a reason.)   I've been in foster care for over a while (it'll be a year in march) and I say I've been handling things pretty well. I have only had less than a handful of instances where I broke down and cried.   But since I got admitted into university all of that has pretty much changed. I've been hit full on in the face with reality and its super hard. I've found that I have no real motivation for life other than ensuring my future happens. It's hard for me to get homework done and for me to keep trudging on.   I've just been so overwhelmed that I'm really depressed and have been feeling suicidal. I'm barely holding onto my sanity by a mere few threads.   Like just tonight, I had finished cooking dinner for my family and I sat down to eat. I had my headphones on and was watching youtube. But my foster mom a few feet away was shrillingily talking super loud. She just wouldn't shut up and it just sent me over the brim. (Plus my younger sister was just super sassy with me.) I ended up rushing up the stairs only to cry my eyes out, totally freaked out.  Normally shit like that wouldn't upset me but the noise just totally overwhelmed me.  I have a good relationship with my foster parents and I'm normally super open to talking with them, but I'm scared to mention the suicidal part to my foster parents because that is taken super seriously.   I just don't know what to do. I'm currently in therapy but its biweekly and doesn't do much. Does anyone have any advice for finding motivation as well as helping with the overwhelming feeling? ",0.9549,positive,content
166,MentalHealthSupport,Ovwhelmed and lack of motivation,listener_1,2,"You sound like you've got your head in a good place for a 17 yo. This may sound like malarkey but you should check out the law of attraction reddit page & check out abraham hicks/esther hicks youtube.  There is so much positivity in that community. Whenever I'm feeling down, I check out the page & read, and soon I feel better.  Meditation works too. 20 minutes a day, clear your mind & calm your soul. Takes a bit to get meditation right (place, time, music or not, guided or not). Find videos you enjoy on youtube - big selection.   You're doing good from what I see. You're on your way to university and from there, a whole new exciting world. ",0.9897,positive,grateful
166,MentalHealthSupport,Ovwhelmed and lack of motivation,speaker,3,Im pretty new to reddit so thank you for the recommendations!!   ,0.7921,positive,grateful
167,MentalHealthSupport,What are my options for my schizophrenic mother?,speaker,1,"Hi all,  I live in California and have a schizophrenic mother who lives in Mobile, Alabama. Currently she lives with my grandmother and has been on and off of medication for the last 25 year by court order. The court orders can only force her to stay on the medication for a few months at a time and she refuses to continue treatment. She has been hospitalized several times and I grew up apart from her as she was too ill to take care of me and my younger brother. My grandmother and my mother fight frequently because she encourages her to take her medication and visit the doctor regularly.   My grandmother is aging and I’m starting to think about what will happen when she passes away. I do not want to bring her into my home not do I have the funds to send her to an expensive private care facility.   What would be my options at this point? Has anyone had a similar experience with a family member of their own? Looking for general guidance and insight. No negative comments, please. ",0.8532,positive,caring
167,MentalHealthSupport,What are my options for my schizophrenic mother?,listener_1,2,"There are nursing-type homes that can take care of her, as well as state hospitals and group homes for people with mental illness. Does she have insurance? ",0.3818,positive,questioning
167,MentalHealthSupport,What are my options for my schizophrenic mother?,speaker,3,Yes she does have insurance. She has been to those places but will only stay for a week or two since they are voluntary. The only times she would go is when she is mandated by the court. ,0.2144,positive,agreeing
167,MentalHealthSupport,What are my options for my schizophrenic mother?,listener_1,4,You could ask the court to place a civil commitment on her to place her in an involuntary home once your grandma dies if she proves unable to take care of herself. Those tend to last a lot longer than the short holds placed in the hospital. And those places are meant for longer terms.   I hope you’re able to figure things out for her! Sorry I couldn’t be more help. ,0.893,positive,sympathizing
168,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts?,speaker,1,"Hi,  I'm kind of re-posting from a different sub, but I'm also semi-seeking some sort of assurance or sharing any knowledge of this sort of mentality.  I'm someone that has a lot of patience+tolerance for others and situations. I have sat through and wasted so much time on people who simply wanted to prank me and manipulate me because of my gullible, too-kind demeanor. I hardly ever crack nor blow-up in people's faces. I hardly even yell at others with any stern or angry intentions (I do happy shouting/voice raising at most).  Yet, in the back of my head there's always voices and images that tell/show me ""What if"" moments. For example: *What if I strangled my roommate to near-death in order for her to finally do her chores? What  if I took a knife and plunged it into my boss's throat the next time he comments on my appearance? What if I kicked my cat to death?*    These also crossover into those anxiety-inducing self-conversations and analyzing previous conversations/fights that give you that ""I should have said/done this instead!!"" feeling. Example: ""*Damn I should have just punched his fucking face when he sneered.""*   Are these just simply intrusive thoughts or are they something more?",-0.9519,negative,trusting
168,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts?,listener_1,2,They are intrusive thoughts.   When polled 79% of men and 66% of women have homicidal thoughts. It’s natural as long as you don’t start obsessing about them and planning them out. ,0.0258,neutral,apprehensive
168,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts?,speaker,3,"Thank you. I figured as much, but I’m glad to have some assurance with your comment. :)",0.9161,positive,neutral
168,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts?,listener_2,4,Holy cow when I read your post it sounded like I wrote it! I think of awful things about my son and it drives me nuts!! I just breathe and slowly get back to reality by being in the moment. Good luck ,0.6093,positive,wishing
169,MentalHealthSupport,I found out that my crush is a serial rapist.,speaker,1,"M (20/21M) was first friends with my coworker, J (20M). Then, M and I (19F) had a class together. I already knew that he was into me, and I thought he was really attractive too. Then, he became my coworker.   For a while, M and I flirted a ton.  It’s important for you to know that I have an extensive history of abuse, mainly sexual. I am severely traumatized. My sexual development has been hindered, which means that I struggle to feel proper sexual attraction without wanting to cry and I also struggle to be physical with guys to the point where holding hands is too intense for me.   Then there was M who came along. The farthest I went with him was hugging him, but I was intensely attracted to him go the point where I would touch myself to him. That’s a big deal for me because typically, even the thought of another guy touching me cringe in terror and heartbreak, which is not really a turn on when you’re trying to masturbate.   Having a crush on M was a big deal for me. I was allowing myself to have fun with attraction in a way that I never have been able to before. I’m usually scared to have guys be flirty with me in the way M was, but when he would get close to me or touch me, it felt great. I started to have more faith in humanity, and I reckoned that even if I eventually reached the verdict that he wasn’t good to pursue further, he would at least have the consideration to not sexually assault me. I know that sounds extreme, but my default mindset is that every man is out to get me (I know that’s bad. I’m working on it.).   Fast forward a few weeks and we make plans to study, and he just doesn’t show up. When I asked him about it at work, he started talking about how he was busy with the company he owns, and that I should buy a pair of leggings that he is selling. In that moment I was like ok clearly this person has no respect for me, and so he is no longer worth my time, and I was so okay with that. In fact,  the whole experience was really restorative, because it allowed me to step back and realize that there’s definitely an in between. Not every guy is either going to protect me or hurt me. I was glad to have the experience of feeling sexy getting that attention and being sexually attracted to M, but I also felt great moving on as soon as I realized he didn’t have respect for me.   Then one day J told me that M doesn’t work at our job anymore. I knew that something bad had happened by the way that he said it. J and M lived together and had been close friends ever since they started college.  Then one night, J tells me that he fired M because 4 girls had gone up to him and said that M had raped them. There were other details that J was vague about that lead him to the conclusion that this definitely happened. J and I are very close and this is not something that he would lie about.   That was a few months ago.   Since then, I have been destroyed. Looking back, there’s an incident in which M said something very rapey towards me that could have been interpreted in two ways. At the time, I went with the explanation that it was just him being nervous around me, since that was the more rational explanation. My trauma can often lead me to be quite paranoid, so I’m often afraid of nothing. Now I look back and I’ll never forget what his voice sounded like. It was dark and twisted and sadistic, as if he wanted to do really bad things to me. I’ve also had another friend tell me about an incident in which M was very rapey towards one of her friends (he was lying on this girl’s bed trying to get her to sleep with him. He only left when the girl got her other friends to force him to leave).   For the remainder of last semester, I had to watch M flirt with other girls in our class, and they were putty in his hands. He did it right in front of me. They fell for it, just like I did, and just like so many girls have before. I was just another pawn, but he’s been a fucking catastrophic disaster in mine.   He’s now back in his home country facing charges, but at the same time, he’s never left, and I am ruined.   I am horrified at this truth, and I’m sorry if I get graphic here - I have never been so turned on by anyone in my life. He was the first boy that I’ve been so consistently sexually attracted to in that way, and I’ve rarely came that hard thinking about another person. And he is a serial rapist.  And of course my attraction for him is nonexistent now, but at one point, having him be my first was a possibility that I was excited about. And it sickens me to think of all of the times where I would fantasize about him doing those things to me. I never want to see his disgusting face again.  It took me so long to get to the point of being open to loving someone again. I would’ve been totally okay if he turned out to just be a fuckboy, but the fact that I so narrowly avoided raped is so terrifying to me.   Now, my trauma has gotten worse. A whole new dimension of hurt is present now. I thought I had trust issues before, man.  But here’s the thing. There’s this really cute boy who works in my dining hall. We are both very intensely attracted to each other. He’s tried to ask me out twice, but on both occasions, something has happened that has prevented him. I’ve spoken to him once, and I honestly don’t even know his name.   But I find myself thinking of this boy from the dining hall when I touch myself now. And the last time I was like that with a boy, he turned out to be a serial rapist, so my mind can’t help but say that what makes this boy different?  Problem is I’m so ruined mentally. I am so afraid that he is going to hurt me. I can’t stop hearing that phrase in my head—“he’s gonna hurt you.” That phrase has haunted me for years of my life, but it’s gotten back again ever since I found out about M. And I want to be brave and ask him out, but I’m so destroyed inside and I don’t think I could handle a relationship. I’m currently seeking professional help for these problems I have. I am very mentally ill. In the mean time I don’t know what to do. This boy is really good looking, and I’m so worried that he’s going to find another girl before I can even talk to him.   I’m sorry for getting graphic here. Please be gentle, especially when referring to me touching myself, as my history of sexual trauma makes it incredibly difficult to talk about this. ",-0.9841,negative,ashamed
169,MentalHealthSupport,I found out that my crush is a serial rapist.,listener_1,2,"You're paranoid. He's not going to hurt you. He would have already hurt you when he had you alone, most rapists are opportinistic. He's out of your life, you can move on but it really is all up to you. You probably don't want to hear this but you can't blame him, he's not going to kick your door down, please don't take this the wrong way.  You should see a therapist. Be honest about everything that goes through your head and be patient. It takes many sessions to learn a new person. Their suggestions as far as the cognitive work you need to do will be more personalized because they actually know you, but I promise they will say the same thing: You are overly fearful of extremely unlikely circumstances transpiring and you get nowhere feeling sorry for yourself. Don't be upset, therapy always stings. I swear it has to in order to work. Lol I won't get into my shit but my therapist said I needed to stop being a coward. It hurt my feelings and I got pissed but I took her advice eventually and now ignoring my unhelpful compulsions is like ignoring somebody elses public conversation to focus on what I'm doing. You're going to be okay.   My personal advice: Get a gun, learn how to operate it confidently and you'll feel much safer just having it around. A lot of women have at least one guy who scares them and that's okay, the world is fucked, you should be afraid. A lot of women are reluctant to get firearms so I assume you are, but you probably know at least one person who is into firearms. Ask them to help you pick out a handgun that works for you and take it to the range once a week until you are confident about operating it in the dark. It will probably never happen but guns are a huge turn off for rapists, it doesn't matter if they are twice your size. I obviously can't promise your saftey but if you follow though with therapy and know how to get the lead out, I promise you won't be afraid anymore. This goes for everyone, if you don't feel safe you can usually do quite a bit about it. Best of luck, I know its hard but you have to keep telling yourself you will be okay, you will get better at convincing yourself.",-0.6055,negative,trusting
169,MentalHealthSupport,I found out that my crush is a serial rapist.,speaker,3,"I think that you are partially right, but also partially wrong. When tragedy strikes, you need to mourn. When I wrote this post, I was in shock and I still had to interact with a sexual predator in my daily life and watch him flirt with other girls. At the time, your advice was too much for me and kind of hurtful, because I don’t think I was yet on the part of my healing journey where anything but comfort and gentle advice would help.   However, now that I’ve had a long while to process this and attempt to heal, I can now appreciate your advice more. I’m reading back over your comment and I can’t help but wonder if you purposely used the word compulsions because you suspected I had OCD.   Your use of this word really interested me because since going back to therapy, I have been diagnosed with OCD as well as PTSD.",-0.6808,negative,agreeing
170,MentalHealthSupport,Can’t sleep and haunted by imagery,speaker,1,"I’m OBSESSED. My brain is driving me crazy tonight.   If you want the full story, check my last post, but in short, one of the last guys I was beginning to pursue trend it to be a serial rapist. And that broke my heart. And now there’s this new guy. And god I had trust issues before but I don’t even know this guy’s name and I’m already convinced he’s gonna hurt me.   He and I are both interested in each other, but I’m not ready to pursue someone right now, so I haven’t gone up to him.   But my brain is OBSESSED with him. And don’t get me wrong. Fantasizing about someone is fine from time to time, but I’m hoe salty so sick and tired of thinking bout him. I tried to go to bed at a decent hour (5 hours ago) and I haven’t been able to sleep. I can’t stop seeing his face in my brain and it’s so dumb because he’s literally just a guy that I think is cute and my brain is blowing it out of proportion. I’m not enjoying the process of having this image of him constantly in my mind. It’s invasive and certainly not enjoyable at this point. I just want to sleep.   I kept trying to sleep, and whenever I would begin to drift off and have a healthy mindset, I would either have to pee, get a really sharp pain in my body, or get a strong itch that wouldn’t go away after deep breathing, and I would just have to start all over again. I just want to sleep and escape this pain for a few hours. I’m scared to be off my phone right now because being in my own thoughts is terrifying.   Having a crush is supposed to be sweet and innocent and enjoyable. And sometimes when I see him it is, because we clearly both like each other and want to get to know each other. But now it feels so tainted.   I’ve scheduled the first appointment with my new therapist on monday (the last therapist wasn’t all that good), but right now it’s Friday, and I don’t know how I’m going to be ok until then.   If anyone has anything, whether it be advice, encouragement, or whatever else, please feel free to comment. It would really help me feel less alone. Suicidal thoughts are coming back unfortunately and it hurts (I won’t do it don’t worry, but the thoughts are horrible to have regardless). ",-0.97,negative,trusting
170,MentalHealthSupport,Can’t sleep and haunted by imagery,listener_1,2,"Sometimes when I am haunted by something I try to remember it is ok to think any thought - thoughts are not actions and don’t happen out loud. And then if I can manage to watch tv, read, or do something else until I fall asleep, I usually feel a bit better. I also read in a post earlier about diffusion techniques using smell our touch (bare feet in grass) to bring your mind back to the present. Good luck. <3",0.7845,positive,wishing
170,MentalHealthSupport,Can’t sleep and haunted by imagery,speaker,3,"Thank you for your compassion!  Things have gotten better since then. Unfortunately it’s partially been because something else bad happened, but regardless, my mindset around this has become less toxic. I went to the therapist and she seems great. Will be seeing her again soon. Hopefully things are finally looking up. Wishing the best for you as well. 😌",0.9787,positive,wishing
171,MentalHealthSupport,Fuk,speaker,1,"(This is my first post don't blame me)  ​  So, hey, I'm going to talk about some issues I've been having.   It's me. I am relatively young (I would prefeer not to specify.)  so I guess this is normal, but I think it's better to confirm first.  But here we go.   ​  I am somewhat of an Mentally-unstable person. And, you know, I've been curious about my mental health. I feel down almost all the time, a slightly wholesome/sad thing usually makes some tears flow and I am horrible in getting over soemthing, like this time, a girl broke up with me almost half an year ago and I still beat myself over it just by hearing her name or something like that. My self-esteem is in fact, rotten. One of the most current things I am used to say in a daily baisis is "" I'm gonna kill myself after this "", or other variants, most of the hummorous ""numbers"" I make are suicidal and depressive jokes. I do think I am bipolar, there are lots of moments in my daily baisis who can confirm it. I am also a kind of nervous person, being easily angered and/or worried.  ​  The thing is, I think I need help, but I don't know How to get it, I'm too young to make it on my own and I'm really afraid of telling my parents (I would rather not).   ​  But it's probably nothing, maybe I'm just playing the victim.   People should waste their time  conforting other people who have ACTUAL problems.",-0.9842,negative,apprehensive
171,MentalHealthSupport,Fuk,listener_1,2,"I can't offer much comfort. I would like to offer a thought I had as I read this. Maybe you can talk with other people who have bipolar, there are two types. See if you can relate, or not, and if it still makes sense to you as a potential cause of a lot of what you're experiencing. As you noted, some of it is normal stuff. However, it sounds like it's quite torturous for while now. So maybe getting some kind of help somewhere is worth a try--it's cool you're trying.  There are all kinds of ailments and afflictions and in turn, all kinds of things to help treat, manage or even cure them in some cases. You're on to something here. I hope it leads you to some answers and you get some comfort for real in the long term.  I'm probably considered old by your standards, and still struggle with what you mention here, and a bunch of other stuff as it doesn't get easier as you age. It can become more manageable though. I'm hopeful for a better future for you. ",0.942,positive,suggesting
171,MentalHealthSupport,Fuk,speaker,3,"Hey! I'm very thankfull for your advice, and it's real nice of you trying to help, and again, Thank you.",0.807,positive,acknowledging
171,MentalHealthSupport,Fuk,listener_2,4,Old enough to scare any dinosaurs away.,-0.4939,negative,neutral
171,MentalHealthSupport,Fuk,listener_1,5,You're welcome :) ,0.7184,positive,wishing
172,MentalHealthSupport,I am lost,speaker,1,"When I was six my parents got divorced, my parents had argued my whole life and there was never a peaceful moment during any day what so  ever. Since I was only six but very angry I have repressed the anger and sadness for about 9 years and they are beginning to surface. My mother would curse at both my sisters (I have 2) and my father would curse at my father, then my mom would curse at my father and so forth. I haven't had any support when it comes to ""fixing"" these emotions. I was also alone with my feelings for those 9 years.   My head is a hot mess and I don't know what to do. I had a 9 month depression last year and was on the brink of suicide. The main problem is that I very easily snap at anyone and anything. Sometimes in the middle of my class I could recall some random occurance that happened during the divorce and it would set me off and I will leave the class to not destroy everything inside of the classroom. I was with a therapist for about 6 months but I don't feel like it really help except for making me look beside my feelings, what I mean is that it didn't help me feel any of the previous pain that I will need to move on.   I am also beginning to suspect that I might have bipolar since I have been hyperactive after the depression and I have begun to get dark thoughts just about every 3 days again.   I am living at the edge and I feel like I will snap once and destroy everything in sight  If you can offer any advice with how to face this situation thanks in advance. There is a lot that I didn't want to include right now but please help",-0.9958,negative,devastated
172,MentalHealthSupport,I am lost,listener_1,2,"Well you’re on the right path by recognizing you have something that you need to deal with.   First off bad thoughts happen to everyone. It’s normal and it’s okay. You’re allowed to have whatever thoughts you want.   What causes an issue is holding onto those thoughts until they change our mood and drive us into depression.   Cognitive diffusion is a great exercise to keep you from dwelling on those thoughts. There are several videos on YouTube explaining the exercise.   The main idea is to become present. To take yourself out of your mind and into the present moment. The best way for me to do this is through smell our touch. When I’m feeling overwhelmed I go outside and walk in the grass barefoot, while doing so I take deep breaths of the fresh air. If you can’t do that, take a piece of ice and hold it in your hand until it melts. Focus on the ice melting, do this as many times as you have to in order to take your mind off of your intrusive thoughts.   Also try to not diagnose yourself or label yourself. Often times this leads to shaming yourself which turns into a whole other set of problems.   You do need to talk to those around you. Try talking to your mother as calmly as possible. If you don’t think that will work try writing her a letter and have her respond with a letter. It’s easier to not get caught up in the moment and respond with anger if you’re writing it out.   Talk with your teachers, principals, school councilor. You don’t have to be dramatic. Just explain to them that you recognize that you’re not okay and that you want support. I’m certain they will help.   I want to say that I am not a professional mental health provider. I am just a guy that has dealt with depression, ptsd, ocd, suicidal thoughts and all that goes with those things for the majority of my life and I want to help other people like me.   Good luck and feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. ",0.9654,positive,agreeing
172,MentalHealthSupport,I am lost,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your thoughts and advice, will try doing the things you listed here. Not sure how it will end tho ",0.1376,positive,wishing
173,MentalHealthSupport,Really am struggling.,speaker,1,"One of my classmates has recently died in a tragic fire, I'm having a trouble thinking straight, she keeps popping into my mind, and I cant take it, I feel so paranoid and sad, we were never really close, but I was kinda mean to her and now I feel like such a bad person, I'm literally balling my fucking eyes out, idk how to feel",-0.8976,negative,devastated
173,MentalHealthSupport,Really am struggling.,listener_1,2,"That’s a terrible tragedy to endure.   You’re going to have to allow yourself to grieve and to forgive yourself for anything you feel was wrong that you did.   In the future consider your actions a little more. It’s always good to not be mean to people.   Being of school age your school should have a system in place to help the students process what happened. Speak with your parents, teachers, school counselor. They should guide you through this.   Stay strong. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling but try to not let it overwhelm you.   Good luck!",0.8779,positive,sentimental
173,MentalHealthSupport,Really am struggling.,listener_2,3,"**Kübler-Ross model**  The Kübler-Ross model is popularly known as the five stages of grief. Even though it's been represented in modern culture as model of depression, the model was originally designed to postulate a progression of emotional states experienced by terminally ill patients after diagnosis. The five stages are chronologically: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  The model was first introduced by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, and was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients.  ***  ^[ [^PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=kittens_from_space) ^| [^Exclude ^me](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiTextBot&message=Excludeme&subject=Excludeme) ^| [^Exclude ^from ^subreddit](https://np.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthSupport/about/banned) ^| [^FAQ ^/ ^Information](https://np.reddit.com/r/WikiTextBot/wiki/index) ^| [^Source](https://github.com/kittenswolf/WikiTextBot)   ^] ^Downvote ^to ^remove ^| ^v0.28",-0.9542,negative,sad
173,MentalHealthSupport,Really am struggling.,listener_3,4,Desktop link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model ***  ^^/r/HelperBot_ ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove. ^^Counter: ^^239727,0.0,neutral,annoyed
174,MentalHealthSupport,Mortgages and mental health,speaker,1," Anyone have a mortgage and have mental health issues.  Has mental I'll health effected your employment and your ability to pay your mortgage.  I've issues with anxiety , depression and i believe PTSD and derealization disorder has developed because of it . Ive Never seen a therapist or resolved the problem. it's about time i spoke to one . Life is too  short.   Ive been renting for about 10 years and the concept of buying a house not only because of the economic climate but because of my employment patterns seems like a fantasy.  The thought of having a mortgage hanging over my head with unresolved mental health issues is terrifying. It's a long way off   At the same time , if you ever want freedom and peace of mind  having your own home is a major foundation. Constantly renting and living life in limbo is shit .   ",0.1779,positive,apprehensive
174,MentalHealthSupport,Mortgages and mental health,listener_1,2,"If it helps you, you can think of your mortgage payments the same as your rent.  If you pay, you get to live there, if you can't, you don't. Same basic principle as rent.  Take it month by month and don't think about it as a long term commitment.   Plus side about the mortgage is every month a portion of that payment goes back to you!  Every month you own a little more than you did before. If you look at it as a whole, it can seem daunting.   I have anxiety issues as well, and looking at it like this has helped me get through it. ",0.7901,positive,trusting
174,MentalHealthSupport,Mortgages and mental health,listener_2,3,"great reply, helps put things into perspective!",0.7901,positive,acknowledging
175,MentalHealthSupport,Hi - i need help with my life.,speaker,1,"Hello. I need advice and help. So... here is my story.   I have the most emotional psychology ever.  I am an INFP ( the idealist) , I am Empathatic, I am right brain dominate, and I was born on June 22nd which means I am classified as a cancer.   I have good self awareness and I constantly evolve and learn new things. I can continue to endlessly get wisdom. That's my strength.   My problem is, I want to get married and have kids and be independent. I am a man (male) so society really does not like me I guess.   I am too emotional and not really logical. I have trouble learning knowledge in college and training schools. But if I try (taste) an experience, it leaves a permanent true understanding of how it is in my mind.   So I live on social security because I have been classified as having a mental illness. I see a psychiatrist and I am stuck at 4$ an hour checks and I can't drive.   Being an INFP / Empath / Cancerian ♋ - I feel very useless and stuck. I can't live the happy experiences that would help me be happy and fulfilled on the mental emotional spiritual level.   If I was a different birth sign or if I had a different personality I would be able to hold a job and be independent.   I am just too emotional and useless as a man. I have strong morals and ethics as well as I believe in righteousness and honor....but other than that I can't really get out of my rut life situation.   I am useless in are society. I don't know how to find independence and a good love life as well as extra money in are society. I can't drive or cook and I am 30 years old.   I don't have a mental illness or learning disability ..well maybe I do ...but I do not think logically  or intellectually. I think emotionally and morally. That is how my brain works.   So that's my story. As a human I got all emotional personality traits.   I guess I am just never going to have a good life. But it's fine. Thanks for hearing me out. I would like any tips to see if I can change my situation in some way. ",0.9822,positive,confident
175,MentalHealthSupport,Hi - i need help with my life.,listener_1,2,"So I'm also INFP, cancer, empathetic and a 30 year old male.. so I can kind of relate to how you feel like an outcast in society. I'm not gonna lie and say having this personality type or birth sign make life easy, but you can still succeed as a highly emotional INFP cancer. You just need to find your passion or niche in life, usually for our types it involves something like music, art, or writing. Some famous INFPs include John Lennon, William Shakespeare, and JRR Tolkien.   There is nothing wrong with thinking emotionally and morally, and if you can control it and not let it control you it can even be an asset. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to and I hope you find something that works for you.",0.9723,positive,jealous
175,MentalHealthSupport,Hi - i need help with my life.,speaker,3,Thanks for your kind advice. I really am grateful for your nice words. Thank you.   I feel better now that I wrote my problems down haha. My passion is to improve on moral and good Ethical values and promote human goodness compassion and human development.   But I am always picky about money. I love and hate money haha. It's greedy but also nessacary to our survival and I just don't know how to feel.   Thanks again for your help and nice words. I hope you have a nice morning or evening. Thanks again.  ,0.9928,positive,grateful
175,MentalHealthSupport,Hi - i need help with my life.,listener_1,4,Lol you are literally me when it comes to money.. I love it when it's able to get me things and let me do what I want but I hate it as a necessity. Sometimes it's just good to voice your issues and put things in perspective. I'd suggest trying a career quiz that has you answer multiple choice questions and picks out your top matched careers based on your answers. When I was struggling and didn't know what to do that gave me a lot of good ideas for jobs to think about. You have a good day/evening too!,0.8378,positive,suggesting
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,speaker,1,"Need help/advice with an emotionally Abusive Parent, hoping someone here might be able to help?",0.0772,positive,suggesting
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,listener_1,2,It can be difficult to give general advice for these sort of problems since every situation is ultimately unique and the contributing factors can vary widely. Could you perhaps try to explain or give example of your parents abuse and how it affects you? ,-0.8655,negative,questioning
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,speaker,3,"Sorry I wasn’t sure if I should give examples outright or not.   My mum relies on me to do favours for her very often, when it’s things that she needs I’m happy to do it like trips to the doctor for an example (my mum had a stroke 3 years ago and requires aid with certain things) but for the most part she just wants me to pick her up small things she’s purchased online as she’s become somewhat of a hoarder. Just this week she told me I had to drive an hour to pick up a statue she had found and when I say no to these things she will call me or message me abusing me saying that I’m selfish and I’ve changed and my partner isn’t right for me. She’ll say she didn’t raise me this way and I’m lazy and don’t care about her then after she hangs up she will call me back within an hour crying and apologising saying it won’t happen again.    She also expects me to call her twice daily and says it helps her since her stroke.  She will often lie and try and stir up fights between me and my sister or my house mate who she’s close to and has tried multiple times to convince me to leave my fiancé.   She will also try and trick me into arguements such as one recently when I would go out for dinner (at the moment I’m going over three nights a week to have dinner with her and more than double that just to take things out to her) and because we were watching a show my parent hasn’t seen before she said my partner could just stay home but when she called me to yell she complained that my partner never comes over for dinner now and must hate her.   I’m finding that whenever I’m around her house I’m unhappy and uncomfortable and I’m having frequent nightmares of living at home again or my mum going after my fiancé whom I love to much to watch mum hurt her. ",-0.97,negative,ashamed
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,speaker,4,Also I’ve started having frequent panic attacks whenever that’s situations occur. ,-0.7351,negative,afraid
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,listener_2,5,"I understand this. I get attacks too just from her leaving a nasty message. She doesn't even have to talk to me any more! I find I had to cut contact but that may not be right for your situation. In fact, of you can find another way, I'd strongly suggest it. My mom was a master guilt-tripper and although less intense, leaving her in the dust has not helped with guilt-based emotional situations. In other ways, I'm quite blessed with more confidence and a greater sense of self-worth.  Your mom sounds lonely and envious of your relationship with your partner. Does she have any friends she speaks frankly with? (I mean on a deeper level than acquaintance.)",0.9352,positive,agreeing
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,speaker,6,"I’m so sorry you had to go through that.   She has some friends but there not super close, most of her closer friends she’s pushed away with her behaviour.  She’s very close with my sister who is extremely similar with manipulation except my sister also has sociopathic tendencies and will often try to cause arguments between family members. ",-0.7237,negative,sympathizing
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,listener_2,7,"Ita okay. Every day something nice happens and I could think ""I'm so sad I cant share this with my family because they wouldn't appreciate it"" but instead I share it with someone that actually wants what's best for me and then we can smile together .   That's too bad about your sister. It sounds like shes making it worse for her and your mother. I find that sometimes you just need to hear some things from certain people. Like, when you give someone advice and they shoot you down but another friend tells them the same thing in a different way and they say ""huh. I never thought of it like that"". Yeah. It's not you. Everyone does that. I find it's especially bad with my family. Maybe yours are similar in that sense. It sucks but really the most you can do is give them advice and wait for them to call you up after they crash and burn. Or enlist other people to talk to them as well in the hope that your point will get through to them. That can be difficult though if the person you're trying to help doesn't trust many people. ",0.812,positive,sentimental
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,speaker,8,"Thank you so much for the advice and just for hearing me out 😊 it’s just nice talking to people about it rather than bottling it in, Ive started talking to my partner and friends about the situation and I’m going on a mental health plan with my doctor this week.   My current plan is to just put barriers up between mum and me so I deleted Facebook which was one of her main ways of telling me to do things or yell at me and I’m going to be limiting my visits there to twice a week and only call her once every two days.  Me and my partner will be moving away by the start of next year and my contact with mum once we move will depend on how she acts in the meantime with these new barriers.   ",0.9246,positive,grateful
176,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally Abusive Parent,listener_2,9,No problem! And that sounds like some good gradual steps towards a healthier relationship. I hope everything g works out for you.,0.8705,positive,encouraging
177,MentalHealthSupport,Some advice on how to help,speaker,1,"I have a sibling who has depression and possibly undiagnosed borderline personality disorder (they’ve not gone for mental health evaluation in years, but in the past it’s what all my previous therapists have asked/talked about). We’re both grown adults in our 30s now. My sibling has refused  treatment with therapy or medications in the past decade or so, likely due to a poor experience with the mental healthcare system (three 5150 & suicide attempts 4-6years ago).  Even to this day my sibling walks around loudly saying how depressed they are, how they’ll just quit their jobs, lay there all day and die. I’ve been dealing with this for the past 10years and even acknowledge that I have my own depression/eating disorder issues.   I just don’t know what else I can do. Now that I’m much older, I just can’t mentally handle waiting around for my sibling to threaten suicide again before acting. I also think that with my own worsening depression, my threshold to be able to care and withstand her depression is much lower. I’m more frustrated, more angry, less caring about it all. Because she won’t seek help anyway and when I do call appropriate people, I’m the bad guy. I feel like there’s no winning, or no “right thing” I’ll ever do for them.    We are very close, and we talk almost daily. But mostly superficial stuff now. What else can I do if they don’t listen to my advice to seek care? ",-0.9958,negative,afraid
177,MentalHealthSupport,Some advice on how to help,listener_1,2,There might be some things you can try in the /r/SuicideWatch talking tips:  http://redd.it/igh87,0.0,neutral,suggesting
177,MentalHealthSupport,Some advice on how to help,speaker,3,"Thank you, I don’t have concerns that my sibling is actively suicidal at this point, just that it’s getting tiring and worsening my own depression.",-0.8126,negative,acknowledging
177,MentalHealthSupport,Some advice on how to help,listener_1,4,"I get that, but most of the talking tactics should still be applicable and I hope useful, especially the active listening techniques.  ",0.913,positive,encouraging
178,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have accomplished nothing since I got out of the Air Force.,speaker,1,"I feel like I have accomplished nothing since I got out of the Air Force. I loved my career as a aerospace propulsion mechanic, but six years was good enough. I got out, moved to CA, went to college, didn’t finish college, got chicken pox, was hit by a drunk driver, and now I feel like I have hit a metaphorical wall. I moved in with a guy for the first time, spent my entire savings on trying to make a failing relationship work and now I just want to live in my new car with my dog and not do a fucking damn thing. Am I broken? What’s wrong with me? Therapy isn’t working! My PTSD meds just keep me from freaking out over triggers... I feel lost and all guidance feels useless because I don’t like what I’m hearing. ",-0.9508,negative,disappointed
178,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have accomplished nothing since I got out of the Air Force.,listener_1,2,"sucks to hear that, i hope you’re okay, sorry if this subreddit seems so dead on replies, I think you can get better attention in r/trueoffmychest and some help or ask subreddits",0.0281,neutral,consoling
178,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I have accomplished nothing since I got out of the Air Force.,speaker,3,Thank you very much for the advice ,0.3612,positive,grateful
179,MentalHealthSupport,"A book aimed at children to show it’s ok to not be ok. My friends brother wrote this book to highlight feelings & to help children understand mental health & how to be able to express their feelings, just thought some of you guys would appreciate it.",speaker,1,Can I please share this here? My friends brother has written a book aimed at children to do with mental health & to show its ok to not be ok [Lucy’s blue day](https://www.lucysblueday.com/),0.7853,positive,suggesting
179,MentalHealthSupport,"A book aimed at children to show it’s ok to not be ok. My friends brother wrote this book to highlight feelings & to help children understand mental health & how to be able to express their feelings, just thought some of you guys would appreciate it.",listener_1,2,Brilliant concept!  I'm working on a game in the mental health space (in Australia) and there is certainly a need to reach kids and young people via the mediums that they enjoy and can related to.  Happy to share in my network.,0.9402,positive,excited
179,MentalHealthSupport,"A book aimed at children to show it’s ok to not be ok. My friends brother wrote this book to highlight feelings & to help children understand mental health & how to be able to express their feelings, just thought some of you guys would appreciate it.",speaker,3,"There certainly is, thank you, I wish you all the best with your game.",0.8957,positive,wishing
180,MentalHealthSupport,Question about insomnia,speaker,1,"Does ""refusing to sleep"" count as insomnia? or is it just ""the inability to fall asleep or stay asleep""?",-0.6966,negative,questioning
180,MentalHealthSupport,Question about insomnia,listener_1,2,I don’t *think* that counts as insomnia.   But why do you refuse to sleep? Not sleeping can cause some serious harm to your brain and eventually can mimic psychosis if you are sleep deprived enough. ,-0.9209,negative,neutral
180,MentalHealthSupport,Question about insomnia,speaker,3,"I don't know, I just don't want to. There's been times where I went to bed at 6am. I didn't do anything with that extra time at all, I just kinda sat there. Sleeping doesn't really benefit me. Neither does eating, but that's a different topic. I almost never dream and when I do it's usually not a good one. I still wake up tired even if I do sleep for enough, so what's the point?",-0.8628,negative,lonely
180,MentalHealthSupport,Question about insomnia,speaker,4,"Thank you for the info, dude, and I'm sorry you're suffering from all that. Most of the time I'll just zone out and stare at nothing while I refuse to sleep. I know my sister got insomnia as a side effect of penicillin (apparently it's a rare side effect) and I'm afraid I'll have the same reaction, even though it won't change much (I'd need to take it when I get my wisdom teeth removed). ",0.5248,positive,sympathizing
180,MentalHealthSupport,Question about insomnia,speaker,5,"I don't think I know the exact definition or symptoms of a manic episode, but I don't think that's what I get. I'll just refuse to sleep sometimes, but I don't do anything with the extra time",-0.4215,negative,anxious
181,MentalHealthSupport,Is it normal to loose sleep over potential social situations?,speaker,1,"I'm not really sure what I'm trying to accomplish by posting this, but I want to get better or at least learn how to accept myself and cope with what can't be fixed or changed. I'm not trying to seek a diagnosis at all but I'm not with how to get help for this and I'm losing the patience to try.  My whole life I've been very introverted to the point I was relatively asocial in elementary school, until I was about 10 and got a good friend I'll call Megan. She was my best friend but when it came time go to middle school she got accepted to this school well off smart kids go, and I went to a normal, public school. The first year of middle school went well, but one day it was like something snapped in head and suddenly I thought she'd do better without me and I ghosted her. She tried for the next two years of trying to connect with me but I was too embarrassed and couldn't explain why I stopped talking to her, so 8 ghosted her. On the last day of 8th grade, she sent me a message on yahoo messenger and said that since the last two years had come and gone without me, she was done.  This sort of thing has been an ongoing problem since then. I'll be 26 next month, and I'm really worried because it keeps happening in my life. Suddenly, without a logical or explainable reason, I just stop talking to people. I struggled with people pretending to be my friend just to invite me to a birthday party and bully me the entire time and that sort of stuff when I was younger, so I'm afraid to get too close to people.   Recently, a friend(Jason) invited me to go hiking with him and someone I had a falling out with, who is down with this but I'm not. I'm not sure if we were actually in a relationship, but he told everyone else but me that he wanted to break up. Then proceeded to start slowly ignoring me, but there's reasons for that and they make sense. I don't want to anything to do with his mother. If I never saw his mother again, it would be fine by me.  Jason wants me to go with them into the woods and go hiking. The forecast is for rain, and Jason said we'd leave if it rained... Then said that the forecast says rain. Something doesn't feel right about it.  I tried asking about the guy who I had a falling out with, and Jason didn't answer the question. Past experience is telling me this is a trap. But I'm not sure that's the case. I absolutely do not feel comfortable with this at all, and I'm worried that it's because of a personality disorder to be completely honest. I think I've got agoriphobic tendencies, if not a full blown anxiety problem like OCD. I was diagnosed with GAD and clinical depression when I was 12.  My last therapist thought I thrived around people, but honestly I don't. I prefer to be alone. If someone is going down an isle in the grocery store I need, but it's not busy and no one else is there, I'll wait for them to leave before I go get my stuff on the off chance I need to say excuse me because I have a problem with my voice where I'm either speaking at maybe 5 deciples tops or yelling, have struggled with a speech impediment my whole life.  At what point does dreading, avoiding socialization, and losing sleep over social invitations become more than just a problem? This affects my ability to maintain a job, it's impacting my ability to enjoy life. I'm not sure what to do, but I don't want to cry myself to sleep because I haven't gotten a chance to cuddle with anyone in about 5 years.  What can I do about this? Where do you go to get help for this? I'm done trying with therapy. I need someone qualified to help with this sort of thing... Does anyone have any advice?",0.9705,positive,apprehensive
181,MentalHealthSupport,Is it normal to loose sleep over potential social situations?,listener_1,2,"This sounds like social anxiety. I'd highly recommend you see a therapist about what you're going through, since it's so badly affecting your ability to function the way you want. ",0.2964,positive,acknowledging
181,MentalHealthSupport,Is it normal to loose sleep over potential social situations?,speaker,3,"Thanks, I guess. Every therapist I've ever gone to tells me that they're not qualified to help me. So I will not go back to a therapist for any of this.",0.1635,positive,faithful
181,MentalHealthSupport,Is it normal to loose sleep over potential social situations?,listener_1,4,"A psychologist may be a better bet, then. They are Doctoral level, rather than a Masters level therapist, and will likely be more qualified to help with what you're struggling with. ",0.4703,positive,suggesting
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,speaker,1,"Hi everyone, I wanted to get some advice on what to do because I'm having a particularly bad day. I'm not sure what triggered it but I think it has to do mainly with the stress of work and school. I also recently got rear-ended and totaled my car, so now have to deal with getting a new car that I didn't plan for. But to get to the point, I've started to feel more and more depressed (slow thinking, sluggish, lack of motivation, feeling hopeless and lonely).   And more recently I realized I'm just feeling #2 to all of my friends. To be honest this was a long time coming though. I had good friends while I was in undergrad and graduate school, but since then we've all moved away from each other (some of us are only 1-hr away, but still) and haven't kept in touch much. We'll try to meet up every now and then but it's not what it used to be. I'm also at the age where many of them are in long-term relationships or engaged/married. So they always have someone to do stuff with. Even when my friends come to visit, plans get cancelled because they're too busy hanging out with their better, closer friends. So I'm just starting to feel like I don't matter.  Like I'm a friend out of convenience only for them-- they only reach out to me if they have the time. I do try, and make efforts to see them but some days I get tired of being canceled on.   I've tried to make myself do things like Meetup but just haven't found a stable group of people to do things with yet. Mostly because I'm busy myself and only can commit to events about once/month. I think it's my own social anxiety too, and I get hung up on explaining to people why I'm a grown ass adult with no close friends of my own anymore. ",0.0254,neutral,apprehensive
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,listener_1,2,You sound like you have a busy life. Friendships do degrade over time and distance unfortunately. Give yourself some compassion and remember that you are doing the best you can with what you have. When trying to make new friends just be honest with people. Say that your social circle isn't what it used to be and you're trying to put yourself out there.  What sort of friends would you want to have? What does your free time look like?,0.9708,positive,questioning
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,speaker,3,"It’ll free up some more when I finish my certificate program in August, which just seems like lightyears away, especially since I just hit my 30s. There’s a lot of “why don’t you have people” and “where’s your boyfriend/husband” and feelings of running out of time. Which I realize may be mostly just in my head.   I’m hoping to look for friends who are just open-minded and share similar interests as me. Introverts who like to eat, drink, and pretend we like going to the gym here and there. ",0.9552,positive,hopeful
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,speaker,4,"Thank you, it helps to have someone else point out connections to my thoughts and feelings because it  gets so hard to see in my own head. You’re not the only person to point out my insecurity—I just have such low self esteem in general, and haven’t ever really found a good way to train myself out of it.   It is rude isn’t it? I mean it comes out during my random Meetup groups on occasion, but the excuse of “I just moved here” doesn’t really hold true when I’ve been living in the same city for 2 years now. I’ll sometimes say it’s because I’m a bit of an introvert, but I know sometimes this throws other people off. Not everyone likes introverts. Developing confidence in believing in myself is hard. ",0.7946,positive,embarrassed
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,listener_1,5,This sound silly but have you considered making a tinder bio and stating that it is only for friends? I met a number of good friends on the app,0.928,positive,apprehensive
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,listener_2,6,"It won't be easy, but trying that technique I told you about will help you with that. That is the good way to train yourself out of your insecurities. A ton of people have that (myself included), but you have come to seek help because you want to get better but you just didn't know how. And now, my hope is that you've been given the tools you need to help yourself, to find value in yourself and in the life you live, no matter what happens in it. It's your life and that is the most valuable thing around. Things will get better, and hopefully in a matter of weeks to a month or two, you will have absolutely mastered that technique, you'll have a better sense of just who you are and where you stand. It helps to increase self awareness too, so it will become easier in time to help yourself even further. Wish you the best of luck in that endeavor!",0.9967,positive,consoling
182,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with depression with little to no friends,speaker,7,"I haven’t—I actually was kinda bummed tinder social went away. I think I’ll try BumbleBFF or whatever at some point once I can get the nerves to do it. Meetup has been nice because it’s a big group of people, but the downside has been that sometimes the groups are so big and random that it’s hard to connect with anyone.",-0.34,negative,disappointed
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,1,"To summarize, my brother tried several times to kill himself under our noses. My whole family really is just sad. He's in a really good hospital right now though, they make sure to keep him active in support groups and other things. I just can't help but feel scared at the fact that, all the time me and him were having fun, talking with each other, he was dealing with an extreme issue behind closed doors. The one that got him caught was when he used a belt, wrapped it around his neck, held it for long enough for the capillaries in his face to burst, causing him to have a discolored, red face. And only got found out when my dad came over for me and him to hang out, and saw my brother's face and asked what had happened, and after that conversation my dad took him to the hospital.   ​  Hard to think of what would have happened had he succeeded, I honestly can't bare that thought. He's my big brother, and I just need input into what I'm feeling, coping strategies perhaps. Cause all I can feel is just this anger/sadness, it came way closer to working than it should of, I still can't fully wrap my head around the fact that it is, in fact, my brother who tried killing himself. It just doesn't seem real at all. Help would be appreciated, I would like to know anyone's experience with this, because I'm really struggling at times to keep it together. He isn't gone, but damn it, it was so close!",0.9086,positive,terrified
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_1,2,"My cousin committed suicide a few years ago, and nobody in our entire family had any idea he was suffering.. it was a total shock. He was good looking, muscular, always smiling and joking, owned his own gym and was doing well for himself. A lot of people suffer in silence and it just gets to a tipping point and they feel like there's no way out.   People suffering from mental illness are impacted by so many intrusive thoughts that make it difficult to reach out for help. They think they'll be judged, looked at differently, avoided or that it's hopeless and nobody will be able to help. It's a terrible feeling but at least you still have your brother. Be there for him. Show him that you care about him and want him to get better and you don't view him any differently. He needs to hear that everything is going to be okay and that he CAN get better. I hope everything works out for you and him. <3",0.917,positive,devastated
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,3,"Sorry to hear that. The thing is, I've become semi-paranoid about the whole situation. And I DO view him differently, not in the sense that I hate him, but just when I think of him all I can think about is how dangerous it is, as struggling behind closed doors, with no one there to help him, and nobody knowing a thing, is scary. He's the one I look up to, to think about how much pain he was in deep down, it's sickening that I didn't know. And that I couldn't help him. Guess now I can a little bit, but I'm really worried that something might happen again when he's out of the facility. They stipulated that upon his return he immediately have counseling set up for him. But still, I'm quite worried something might happen again, and I'd be just as powerless to stop it. (I know that sounds cliche, but it's how I feel about it.)",-0.9908,negative,terrified
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,4,"Thing is, he's been chronically depressed for a long time, but he never showed any sign of it at all. At the time I can't talk to him, as he is several hours away in a specialized hospital currently undergoing counseling, they keep him active and he is going to group sessions. This is a very no-nonsense facility and I love that. Hopefully by the time I can come to terms with that fact, he'll be back. But as of right now it is a tough thing to deal with. He's the one I always looked up to, he was the one who I most connected with out of my siblings, we would talk for long periods of time about topics that just fascinated us. So it is a tough pill to swallow for me, the fact that he'd do that.",0.9371,positive,trusting
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_1,5,That's an understandable way to feel. You're always going to be afraid or something happening but just try to be reassured in that hes going to be getting the help he needs now so the risk is going to be lower than it was before. Hopefully he can talk to someone and start to get some control back in his life do he doesn't feel like this is his only option.,0.4797,positive,acknowledging
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,6,"Thanks, it means a lot. It will take time, but I hope they don't rush the process in the slightest, hope they keep him there as long as they need to. The doctor there told my mom that it's usually a 7-10 day process, but that he might have to be there longer. I honestly hope it's longer just so that they can be more thorough with him.",0.9552,positive,encouraging
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,7,"You bring up a good point, thank you very much for sharing your story, I can't imagine it was easy. It brings to light a very good point, I thought my mom was being harsh for telling him, ""what would have happened if it was your brother or your grandfather who found you?"" but now I see that probably was a good thing to say, he's a smart guy, he's also very caring and thoughtful. Sorry about your struggles with your sister, but thanks for helping me understand from his point of view a little bit. Hope you're finding great times ahead in your life, I just don't know how to move past it. Is it something one moves past, or is it just something someone has to come to terms with? Because that is the hardest thing for me. But this event certainly has brought with it, a perspective on just the value of life in general, I don't take it for granted and appreciate every moment I live. I wish something like this didn't have to happen in order to drive that point home, because I was already on the verge of feeling that way about life, this event just pushed it forward and made me appreciate life even more. Thank you again, if you could give an answer to: Is it something one moves past, or is it just something someone has to come to terms with? That would be appreciated. Because I honestly don't know, but figure you might know the answer to that. That's a major one I'm struggling with. I already brought it up earlier, just need to know.",0.9967,positive,sympathizing
183,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,speaker,8,"Thank you very much for everything, it has helped me see things a little bit from his perspective. Also got to clear up a misconception, I'm his brother. We do have a sister as well, (who also cares for him, she's always viewed herself as our second mother, which can be a tad bit annoying at times) but thanks again. And I hope your new medication is the answer you're looking for. I know that it takes a lot of experimenting at times to find the right medication and right dosage to help. But glad it's looking up!",0.9628,positive,sympathizing
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,speaker,1,Ok so I’m BP2 and diagnosed with ptsd from ECT..So whenever I have a day where I’m so deeply depressed and dark i start to smell this rancid smell its somewhere btw a stale dirty wet dog type smelll it’s disgusting and overpowering at times so the time this happened i thought it was me so i jumped into the shower than out on clean clothes..didnt matter it was still there..the next day when I’m feeling better the smells completely gone..         It doesn’t happen a lot but it happened a few days ago again could this rancid smell be my actual psyche and its not really real or there? Can anyone related experianced or even heard about this?,-0.8884,negative,disgusted
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,listener_1,2,Could be an olfactory hallucination,0.0,neutral,afraid
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,speaker,3,Wow that’s completely right on i just googled it exactly that...Thank you so much u dont know weirded out I was,0.5859,positive,agreeing
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,speaker,4,What’s that ive never heard of that b4?,0.0,neutral,questioning
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,listener_1,5,Smelling smells that aren’t really there. It can be a symptom of psychosis which can arise during depression/mania. ,0.0,neutral,afraid
184,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help and tell me if this is something anyone else experiances?,listener_1,6,Make sure you let your doc know next time you see him/her :) glad I could help. ,0.875,positive,acknowledging
185,MentalHealthSupport,I really don't know,speaker,1,"Hello.I am sorry if this is not the best place to ask for advice, but at least no one knows who I am here to make fun of me.I started feeling like this since I've entered High school.I passed my exams with relatively good marks and everything and entered the School I wanted to.Everything is fine and all, I have a great native language teacher that really helped me see more than the surface and helped me understand myself better.I am thankfull for what I have, don't get me wrong but I just feel absolutely miserable.If I were to portrai it I would refer to my life as a crumbling apartment building and to me as a spectator that looks at it  falling apart with tears in his eyes.I was raised to be a good person to be kind and to never act in the heat of the moment even If something bothered me I wouldn't be violent.I keep feeling worse and worse.My self esteem was ok but now even the slightest thing gets me.I am tired of waking up in the morning and having to put a normal look on my face the rest of the time.I am not a social guy.I tried to interact with other people but their interests are completely different or just plain unhealthy.I like reading and that's one of the times I don't feel like bursting into tears and beating myself up. I thought a new School would make up for my lonelyness but it just made it worst, having been separated from one of the few individuals that understood me. I found myself surounded by false people and coleagues that are either clueless, try to ruin classes or just don't like my company very much.I always felt like I was gulity always saying sorry for everything but now I don't even feel anything, just anger at times or misery. Yes, I have tried talking with a therapist but it didn't help a lot.To sum everything up, I don't enjoy life anymore, I don't feel motivated I don't feel compasion even from those trying to aproach me.I am insecure and need aproval for many things that shouldn't bother me.I feel worthless and sad, tired of having to pretend I am happy. ",-0.9793,negative,grateful
185,MentalHealthSupport,I really don't know,listener_1,2,"I always found high school to be a help and I felt the same way as you. Seeing as your still in high school I'm gonna guess your in your early teens, most of your sadness is caused from hormonal growth. You mind is going to go though a constant up and down as your growing and high school kids don't help but know that most of them are probably going though something similar.  As for other people, people are scary and even as an adult I have a huge problem talking to people and making friends but instead of trying to make 100 friends try and make 1 or 2 close friends because at the end of the day they'll be there for you as much as you are for them.   Things can get better if you believe in yourself. This is one of the most hardest things to so but just keep trying. Your best is all you can give and no body should ever ask for anything else, your human and as humans we make mistakes but from them we grow and become a better person because of it.  I hope this helps in some way or another and I hope things get better for you too. I wish you all the best.",0.9924,positive,terrified
185,MentalHealthSupport,I really don't know,speaker,3,"Thank you!I really apreciate it.I try making friends, but from the hundreds of people there are, I've only found one to be truly helpful and I know there are more, but I'm just to awkard around people to be able meet some.I'm not trying to be some smartass but most people I meet are into harmfull hobbies such as drugs and smoking and I think the temporary effect of those wouldn't be able to overcome my general state of mind.",0.7574,positive,annoyed
185,MentalHealthSupport,I really don't know,listener_1,4,"Just remember to be yourself even if that means your awkward and shy. I have a few friends that have harmful hobbies to but don't let anyone ever pressure you to do anything you don't want to.   Just because they like doing drugs doesn't mean they can't be good people, my brother goes on cocaine benders and even though I'm not a fan of his choices I'll never stop loving and caring for him.   If you think they'll be a good friend then their baggage doesn't matter just remember that your not responsible for there bad choices and to be able to recognise if they're trying to be poisoness or just need a friend. ",0.5226,positive,trusting
186,MentalHealthSupport,Nightmares,speaker,1,"Hello, I've never posted on this page before and I'm just looking for some advice. When I was a young child though to a young adult I've had nothing but abuse both mental and physical because of this the psychologist said that most of my problems are trauma related and medication won't help and there's really nothing that will make it go away.   I need advice because over the last few years I've been suffering from really bad nightmares. It use to be i just didn't sleep and i would always be tired but now I'm able to sleep but my dreams turn to nightmares and makes me more sleep deprived and miserable then before. When my partner is around me I don't have nightmares and I usually sleep okay but when he's not around I feel like I'm drowning. We dont live together as of yet so I want to be able to sleep without relying on him to be there but I'm not sure what to do.   At the moment medication might be my only option but I just want to see if anyone has any better ideas then drugging myself to sleep.",-0.9529,negative,apprehensive
186,MentalHealthSupport,Nightmares,listener_1,2,"Heyy..So I was Having the same problem..it can be terrifying..I would have the same nightmare over and over again I’d dream of the same image of a man standing in the corner of my room smiling at me..I wasnt able to move once I was paralyzed out of being scared..but my psychiatrist never offered a solution..  But I was checked into the hospital and the doctor there prescribed me a medication specifically used for nightmares,,..I now no longer have nightmares which haven’t had one in over at least 6 months..I strongly suggest this medication it was a life saver for me and maybe (hopefully) it can do the same for you   The medication is called Prazosin (minipress)...It also doesn’t have side effects at least in my experiance but u should def ask ur doctor about this med because its reallly effective...Good luck I’m here if u have any questions!! :)",0.9325,positive,terrified
186,MentalHealthSupport,Nightmares,speaker,3,Thank you  :) I'll definitely check it out,0.802,positive,agreeing
187,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice for a friend who's really struggling,speaker,1,"This is a long read I guess but please go through it if you think you can help..  My friend has struggled with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, derealization and depersonalization for some time now.. he sees a therapist takes his meds works on his life n his mental health n has a mostly positive attitude towards all of that, like he knows shit can n will get better n he's working on it.. lately tho he's been getting these ""episodes"" where he does things like heavily cut himself (mainly his legs), take way too many pills of whatever's near him mostly benzos he says it's like another character taking over n that when it's done he kinda knows n remembers what happened but can't relate to it n doesn't feel like he deserves to face the consequences of whatever he did during those episodes   The first time this happened was right after what seemed to be an intense panic attack his parents called us to come n check on him he was completely dissociated n only said ""I'm not me"" we managed to calm him down n put him to rest n thought it's done n everything's fine now but then he got up cut his wrist n took like 90 pills of xanax strezam anti depressants and more stuff n acted so out of character cursing n smoking in front of his parents  insulting them hitting his gf when she tried to stop him from taking more pills anyways it just wasn't him we managed to kinda trick him to take him to the hospital to clean all that stuff n after that he was so weirded out by the whole thing couldn't relate to it whatsoever n had to face consequences with his family after all that obviously but he didn't feel it was deserved cause it wasn't him he explained everything afterwards n apologized n they were understanding which wasn't expected..   After a few months we kinda all forgot about it then we met once, we were on lorazepam, talked openly for the first time about ""self harm"" n shit n this whole new character taking over thing, I don't remember most of it for obvious reasons but I remember I showed him some old and new scars n he did too n said he only recently started doing it, n that it isn't really self harm in his case it's more like a feeling of not being attached to his body, his body feeling weird n alien (seems like depersonalization) n him kinda wanting to explore it, he had two razors n we cut our wrists right there I remember people looking at us all weirded out, he didn't do anything that severe right there..  Lately he said he had two more episodes similar to the first one he now has severe cuts in his legs which he did during (some writing and drawings all over his right leg n a few other on the left one) he also took all his benzos during them n now he doesn't have anything for like 20 days or more  He says he feels this ""character"" taking over a lot but it doesn't always get as crazy as in these 3 cases he also says he feels very weak n vulnerable n stupid but also extremely smart and strong in a narcissistic way    Any explanation ? I know the obvious thing to say is he should see the therapist asap n he will, tho it's kinda hard right now as he doesn't have much time n has to travel soon for work reasons but he will.. but any explanation, key words so I do some research or any advice would be helpful, thanks in advance.",-0.9315,negative,consoling
187,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice for a friend who's really struggling,listener_1,2,Advice: take care of yourself first. You cannot help your friend if you are in the same struggle bus as them. Cutting together is something I found particularly worrisome. ,-0.7564,negative,caring
187,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice for a friend who's really struggling,speaker,3,"Thanks for the advice, I'm aware that I have my own issues n I'm working on them I at least have somewhat of a good idea of what they are n where do they come from  As for the cutting that was a one time instance, it's not like a ritual we do regularly or anything the only reason that happened is that we were geeked n high as I said, n I had very little self control, I never even talked about it or showed anything to anybody before that let alone doing it with a friend in public n walking around with a bleeding, fucked up arm covered with some paper towels, that was so out of my character as I'm a very self conscious n anxious person in public..  so yeah, that happened once unfortunately but it'll never happen again  my issues are manageable I think and I used to see a psychiatrist n stopped that n taking meds cause I thought they didn't do anything noticable, but I'm planning to go back soon n I have a much better understanding of how the process works now, his case tho seems much worst so understanding it at least would be a step forward  I only included that cause I didn't know how to better describe his case so I thought I'd include any piece of info that I could think of to possibly make understanding what he has easier ",0.4582,positive,neutral
188,MentalHealthSupport,Trying something,speaker,1,"I've always been told I should blog, but have been hesitant to go for it. What the hell, we'll see what happens!I plan to write about mental health. I'll see if I can't squash some stereotypes and replace them with some compassion. The world needs more of that. I guess the best way to start is to bore.....I mean share the story of me...I'm just shy of turning 39. I'm a stay at home dad of 2 awesome boys who are 5 and 7. My wife and I recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Why am I sitting at home, watching soaps and eating bon bons? Because she's smart enough to have an Aerospace Engineering undergrad degree and a software engineering graduate degree. I have a crappy business administration degree. Why? Because I didn't have the self esteem to pursue anything cool. I'd be designing roads and bridges if I did. So, I'm Mr. Mom.Bored yet? No? Ok, let's dig into childhood. Everyone loves that. I was the oldest of three in a typical family. I was diagnosed with a condition called Hydrocephalus at age 2. Some call it ""water on the brain"". Basically spinal fluid isn't pumped away from my brain naturally, so they put in a shunt (valve/tube) to send the fluid to my abdomen to be absorbed. Otherwise, my brain would drown in fluid. So I'm already a special case!That lead me to some things that were small, but out of my control. I was picked on all through school, preschool through Senior year. Once you're on the bully's radar, they harass you for every single thing that you do. I'm sure a lot of you have been there. That in and of itself left me quiet, low self-esteem, afraid of people. Friends would get tire of me and dump all the time. It was lonely.At home, being the oldest, I was responsible for my younger siblings' behavior a lot. I had to be the example. So if things went wrong, it was my butt. Literally, because corporal punishment was alive and well. Mind you, I was and still am devastated just being told I did wrong. Really, any punishment was overkill. My parents didn't know how to handle things. In the heat of the angry moments with all the weapons of ass destruction you can think of. Basically, I was punished way more than needed. The one size fits all approach to discipline doesn't work. That's a whole other topic.Where did that leave me? I always assume that I screwed up, scared of authority figures, assume everyone is mad at me, I always think negatively, crappy self image, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and the list could go on.I'm a hot mess trying to figure things out. I have lots of topics in mind that I can talk about. I want to see if anyone out there is interested in reading my writing first. If you survived this and want more, let me know.Thank you!",-0.9951,negative,content
188,MentalHealthSupport,Trying something,listener_1,2,Of course! Seems like you’ve been through a lot and if you can integrate those emotions and experiences through writing then it could be cathartic. Have you looked into medium.com? You can even get paid for your writing on there.  ,0.4199,positive,acknowledging
188,MentalHealthSupport,Trying something,speaker,3,I will look into that. Thanks! ,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
189,MentalHealthSupport,Antidepressant stories—do they work? What’s the difference being on and off them?,speaker,1,I have cyclical depression but have never taken medicine. Sometimes it’s really hard to just feel at ease being alone or with myself and other times I don’t think about it at all. I’ve considered taking antidepressants but I don’t know if it’s worth the trouble of figuring what to pick and spending the money. ,-0.5913,negative,apprehensive
189,MentalHealthSupport,Antidepressant stories—do they work? What’s the difference being on and off them?,listener_1,2,"The right antidepressant combined with the right therapy can work wonders. I was seriously on the verge of suicide last August, I started on Sertraline 50mg and ended up increasing until I hit 200mg. I started CBT in February and have took a few months leave from work to focus on my mental health, I’m 11 weeks in.   I’m really starting to feel like my old self again now, my family is noticing and they are worrying less which also helps a ton. So for me yes, I’d say they are great but not on their own, you need to want to get better and put the work in. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my can’t get out of bed days but they are much less frequent than they were.   Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do.",0.9186,positive,content
189,MentalHealthSupport,Antidepressant stories—do they work? What’s the difference being on and off them?,listener_2,3,Thanks good to hear. My daughter was just hospitalized for depression/suicide/self harm and they are starting her on meds. You hear horror stories of people turning into zombies etc.,-0.34,negative,sympathizing
189,MentalHealthSupport,Antidepressant stories—do they work? What’s the difference being on and off them?,listener_3,4,"See when you hear people say that it's because they are convinced that there is a stigma that goes hand in hand with mental illness and medication.  If they were really turned into zombies then that cocktail would be perscribed more to young people with austism to get them from going completely ballistic 24/7 to a managable human sack.  People need to see that when you're taking medicine it's due to a chemical discrepancy in the brain. It had nothing to do with wrong or bad. It's literally is balancing the chemestry in your brain to give you a better quality of life.  Mental health needs are just as serious as people with diabetes, cancer and other life altering diseases that require you to take medication. However, those who are managing a chemical imbalance are subject to ridicule. Why? Because mental illness has gotten a bad name from society.  You also need to see why isn't it that your kid is on self destruct mode? Family therapy along side personal therapy does wonders.  What we forget is how sensitive kids are. She might not be comfortable talk to you about what's going on or maybe she needs a neautral party to talk to her about what's happening with her feelings. Being a young person these days are not easy at all.",-0.9599,negative,apprehensive
189,MentalHealthSupport,Antidepressant stories—do they work? What’s the difference being on and off them?,listener_1,5,"I can’t say anything to that but I’ll agree that for the first few weeks, it can get worse before it gets better, it did for me for sure. It’s such a long steep slope that I have the upmost respect for anyone who even tries. She’ll push you away more times than not but just keep at it and of course, the very best of wishes to you and your family.",0.9617,positive,wishing
190,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone know what this is?,speaker,1,"I'm sorry if this is not the kind of thing posted here, I'm new to the reddit. But something I've found myself doing all my life confuses me. I've always had what I'd call an overactive imagination, not a day goes by without creating some narrative in my head and then later typing up the characters and scenes on a notepad file. The thing is, whenever I get an idea that I am really excited by or invested in and I picture it in my head I get the urge to drum my hands against my head in a rapid fashion. I tap around the top of my head with closed fingers very quickly for a few moments until the urge wears off.     This happens primarily then, but also whenever I watch a comedian I like land a joke well on a youtube video or if something happens in a tv show/movie/online fiction that I get amped up and energized from I'll do the same. It's like in the movies when a character fist pumps the air with a hushed ""yes"" but it's a compulsion to hit the sides of my head rapidly, not to cause pain, but some sort of sensation before it quickly wears off.     Does anyone have any idea what this could be because of? I have not been diagnosed with any kind of mental disorder. ",0.974,positive,embarrassed
190,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone know what this is?,listener_1,2,r/maladaptivedreaming,0.0,neutral,angry
190,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone know what this is?,speaker,3,"My goodness have started taking a look at that reddit and it seems \*exactly\* what I am experiencing, thanks a lot!!!",0.7767,positive,agreeing
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,speaker,1,It's been ~2 months since I suddenly stopped taking my zoloft I was taking 50 mg and then she increased my dosage to 100mg a day. I have PTSD anxiety panic disorder and depression. Idk why I can never be consistent w my meds like I literally just forgot to take it after being so careful not to miss a dose and I ended up not realizing I hadn't been taking my medicine for a week! And then I started trying to take it again and then I saw this thing on the TV talking about how the government controls our minds w medication and that pharmaceutical drug companies are after our money which got me scared so I just stopped taking it all together. I mean people say ur suppose to experience extreme side effects after not taking it but I didnt really notice anything besides the ordinary I feel like I might be bipolar instead of depression bc  my emotions always feel super intense and super extreme and I always make irrational decisions out of nowhere I really think something's not right w me but when I tell my psych this stuff she just gives me the same thing dont know what to do I'm so confused I think I'm losing my mind  ,-0.7376,negative,ashamed
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,listener_1,2,How long were you taking the Zoloft for? Before you stopped? I keep all of mine on the kitchen windowsill so I can never forget them.,-0.1516,negative,questioning
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,speaker,3,Like 3 1/2 months ,0.3612,positive,anticipating
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,listener_1,4,"Should have been seeing something by then, saying that, I have gone up steadily too 200mg until I started seeing a steady effect.",0.0,neutral,acknowledging
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,speaker,5,Maybe it just doesnt work for me :/ I dont think what I have is depression ,-0.7269,negative,suggesting
191,MentalHealthSupport,Havent been taking my meds,listener_2,6,"Hey, eMarchHare, just a quick heads-up:   **untill** is actually spelled **until**. You can remember it by **one l at the end**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.7263,positive,annoyed
192,MentalHealthSupport,Do I visit a doctor or a therapist?,speaker,1,"Lately at my job my previous mistakes have been getting me reprimanded. It seems like just about every task I do has small details I missed or left out.  When I was a kid I was constantly sent out of class for talking and distracting kids or for being absent minded. And now, I can't focus on a task long enough to finish anything. I feel like I have a lot of drive and commitment but no matter what I do I miss half the information and it's got the point where I feel like I have no control.  Do I have memory issues? Am I just an idiot? Who do I go to with this stuff? I hate feeling like I need to cry all the time because I can't accomplish stupid little details in things. ",-0.8789,negative,ashamed
192,MentalHealthSupport,Do I visit a doctor or a therapist?,listener_1,2,Do you have health insurance?,0.0,neutral,questioning
192,MentalHealthSupport,Do I visit a doctor or a therapist?,speaker,3,"I do, I'm under 26 and have insurance under my dad still",0.0,neutral,grateful
192,MentalHealthSupport,Do I visit a doctor or a therapist?,listener_1,4,Start by calling your insurance company and see what mental health services are covered. Then I would suggest finding an in network psychiatrist who can schedule you for testing and evaluate you further for medication. If therapy is also covered then I would definitely recommend seeing a psychologist as well because it can be immensely helpful.,0.8442,positive,agreeing
193,MentalHealthSupport,"I fantasise about killing people and getting away with it, I don’t know why or what has me thinking this way. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, ptsd, anxiety and insomnia. I’m 17.",speaker,1,My last thoughts of hurting someone was to drop a chair of my balcony and make sure it kills someone and that I would get away with it. Help me understand please,-0.25,negative,guilty
193,MentalHealthSupport,"I fantasise about killing people and getting away with it, I don’t know why or what has me thinking this way. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, ptsd, anxiety and insomnia. I’m 17.",listener_1,2,"As a psychology major who has the same diagnosis, here is my take.   These are called intrusive thoughts. An intrusive thought is something, usually traumatic or irrational, that you know is morally wrong, but you continue to think this way. They are difficult to stop from happening.   They could be coming about for multiple reasons. The most probable is that you are lacking so much sleep that it is disrupting the part of your brain that controls impulses and rationalization.   Second to that, you may be experiencing a bout of psychosis. As someone with BPD who was diagnosed at about 15, but am now 33, I really hated hearing that at first and it still irks me. ""Psychosis"" does NOT mean ""psychopathic"". It means you have thoughts that are disturbing and irrational.  Third, if you ever experienced some sort of abuse, which most people with BPD have, your PTSD, lack of sleep, and tendency toward psychotic episodes are all lending themselves to these homicidal thoughts.  They can be somewhat helped with cognitive or dialectical behavioral therapy. I would highly suggest bringing this up to your therapist.  If you ever have the urge to ACT on these thoughts, you definitely need to mention this to your therapist.   I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Through therapy, you can get better and relieve a lot of the symptoms that come along with your diagnoses. I promise. I am basically an older version of you. ❤ There is hope, and you can work past this and be very successful and happy! You need to choose to do the work, though.   If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. ",0.2612,positive,apprehensive
193,MentalHealthSupport,"I fantasise about killing people and getting away with it, I don’t know why or what has me thinking this way. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, depression, ptsd, anxiety and insomnia. I’m 17.",speaker,3,"Thankyou, yeah I was going to mention it to my psychologist today. ❤️",0.29600000000000004,positive,wishing
194,MentalHealthSupport,I'm lost... And don't know where to go anymore...,speaker,1,"This last month has been a roller coaster for me... I was giving up on a lot back then and just hating my life then.. and now I stand a month later and looks as if I am better but feel worse than before...  I began dating this girl. I have dreamt of this girl for a VERY long time (almost 2 years long). But my issue is that I battle anxiety and depression. And she does too (and I was aware of this). She had always been a good friend of mine but all changed... And now it's for the worse...  To get an understanding of where all that came from (the anxiety and depression): within 6 months, I had been cheated on twice, got in a car accident that about killed me, I had lost my father who cut ties with me 3 months before his death, and had been in a abusive relationship for me mentally. After all that, psychologically, I was not fine what so ever. I still am not and admit to it..  She admitted to liking me when I started liking her. And I was thrilled. We stayed up that night just talking in the phone and all until like 4am. It was magical. The next day when I saw her, I asked her out. I was already through being her friend so it was a nicer and smooth transition.  Here's where issues begin though... I'm not for say an open person unless I'm super close to you. Only like 2 of my friends know how bad I am and she, within that month, figured it out. The smallest things would trigger it and my mind would say whatever it wanted to, even if it was false or anything along those lines. She would say something, it would trigger it, and it would take forever to get out of that funk. I had stupidly got off medication and therapy, especially now that I am preparing for college classes and then all this happening. My friends, when this happened, was understanding and was always there. They always knew how to fix shit for me. With her, she did the same and always knew how to fix shit.   The difference?   They never had an issue helping me and always did (we had lost a friend to depression and committed suicide so might be a good reason why?). With her... She was there, but as this kept going on, she began to get unhappy. Finally one night, she cracked on me and said she was unhappy with our relationship. I had told her after like the first few times it had happened, I was getting help (and I did. While not on medication yet again, I have been seeing my therapist). But it was not enough for me to get help...  She broke up with me over text while I was at the therapist (that turned into a longer session than should've been). I haven't coped with the break up well at all. Little to no sleep those past few days, haven't had an appetite, and I flooded myself with work (I already worked a lot for a high school senior, but I doubled my work to keep myself busy).  I told her I still wanted to be friends with her (I just opened up for god sakes. I don't do that shit often) but with some shit, I just don't know... She was a friend before, but all she's been able to do is talk nasty on me and my friends and it's getting to the point where she's tryna break me into a tiny ball of nothing. I care about this girl a lot, but know she doesn't feel the same anymore... Not even as a friend...  I have done nothing since but work... I already felt like I was at a dead end job and just doubled my work so I was at it more, breaking my back basically, just so I can forget some shit that in all reality I can't...  I actually loved her... And now that she has left because of my anxiety and depression... It sucks ya know?.. and I don't know what to do anymore.. I am just searching for an answer to maybe fix this? Fix myself? Idk... I am just lost and don't know... ",-0.9955,negative,devastated
194,MentalHealthSupport,I'm lost... And don't know where to go anymore...,listener_1,2,"I hope you're back on your medication and therapy, I'm not sure exactly why you stopped doing them but it sounds like you were just expecting her to make you happy? It's very difficult to make a relationship work if you're both suffering from depression and anxiety... it's hard to give someone else your energy and support if you're too busy dealing with your own issues (I know this from experience).  Break ups are always tough but personally I wouldn't want to be with someone who would leave me just because I have depression... she honestly doesn't sound like a great person based off of what you said. I think you should focus on yourself and work on your sense of self-worth. It's a lot easier to be in a healthy relationship if you love yourself and you're not dependent on another person for happiness. Hope this helps.",0.9793,positive,consoling
194,MentalHealthSupport,I'm lost... And don't know where to go anymore...,speaker,3,I had stopped because I felt fine. It was not until I started dating her some stuff triggered and came back.. And this did help. Thank you for this.. ,0.6249,positive,neutral
194,MentalHealthSupport,I'm lost... And don't know where to go anymore...,listener_1,4,I've stopped taking medication before because I felt fine but it's okay to stay on meds if you need them as extra support. I've been on my current meds for a few years and I'm functioning a lot better with them.,0.8658,positive,content
194,MentalHealthSupport,I'm lost... And don't know where to go anymore...,speaker,5,"My friends always felt like that support... Just it all being triggered just did something ig that made me need it.. I really hate to say that I lost this girl from my life because she was a friend prior to all of this, but all had changed because if my shit.. it's been hard to eat or sleep these last few days cuz of it all.. ",-0.5989,negative,sad
195,MentalHealthSupport,I can't fucking do this anymore.,speaker,1,"I'm constantly being called gross  and constantly being tormented and used as a punching bag and I've been holding all the anger, for the past 2 and a half years, I've been tormented and angry, and I'm on the edge of fucking losing it, god hasn't answered my prayers, someone help me",-0.8372,negative,angry
195,MentalHealthSupport,I can't fucking do this anymore.,listener_1,2,Hey. I'm so sad to see that no one has posted yet.. Can you give me an update? What's going on?,-0.7616,negative,questioning
195,MentalHealthSupport,I can't fucking do this anymore.,listener_2,3,"Hey, eMarchHare, just a quick heads-up:   **realy** is actually spelled **really**. You can remember it by **two ls**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
196,MentalHealthSupport,To any professional mental health counselors,speaker,1,Would anyone be willing to tell me a little bit about their life and daily professional activities?  I need to conduct an interview for school on someone who works in the field I want to work in and would really appreciate the help.,0.7397,positive,trusting
196,MentalHealthSupport,To any professional mental health counselors,listener_1,2,Mine would be so different. It’s an residential long term facility for those with serious mental health symptoms. Would that work?,-0.0772,negative,questioning
196,MentalHealthSupport,To any professional mental health counselors,speaker,3,Yes that sounds good to me!  What would be a good time for you?  I only have a few questions I'll just send them over whenever,0.8313,positive,questioning
196,MentalHealthSupport,To any professional mental health counselors,listener_1,4,Any time!,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
197,MentalHealthSupport,Finally left my abusive family! How do I support myself??,speaker,1,"So for almost 19 years I was a codependent living off my narcissistic, bipolar, abusive father who took control and manipulated my mother. This created a very difficult home environment for me for the longest time. There were days I saw no hope no gettingout. When I came to college I thought I would finally be on the right track towards my freedom. However, the control and abuse didnt cease to stop there. My father would constantly call to threaten to take me out of school, take away my resources, all over dumb minuscule things. He felt like he could just say these things to me which greatly affected me and then I'd just have to be okay with it and accept who he is. I began to go to therapy last summer when things started to get really bad. My anxiety and depression was worsening, it was really beginning to affect me in school and my grades started to plummet as well. Last winter, it got to the point where I was on the verge of suicidal and got admitted into the mental hospital for 3 days which did not help me one bit. The doctors and psychiatrists were anything but understanding and would just shove medications down my throat and brainwash us all into thinking we were severely ill and crazy. I finally told my mom so that she could get me out of there and of course my father ended up finding out. That was when my life started to go downhill. I knew I needed to get out of my household but knew my current job just wasn't enough so I began dating older men for money. In the meantime, my father was very suspicious that I didnt tell him I was admitted to the hospital. He then hired someone to investigate me and to stalk me. He stalked me at work went to my workplace talked to my boss and coworkers, he followed me to school found out where my classes were who my professors were if I was attending classes. I would go home every weekend because they wanted me to and every Sunday when i would go back to campus he would follow me without my knowledge. I started to catch on that someone was stalking me bc he would call me and my friends from anonymous numbers and also monitor what my friends were doing, who they were, who I would have contact with etc. This is when I began my double life in order to survive. I was so scared of going anywhere so much anxiety even leaving my house. He confronted me a few times about lying to him about where I was and where I was going. I hated to lie but I just knew that I couldn't tell him anything if he was going to continue stalking me and it wasnt until he really blew up on me and started to send me threats saying that he was going to take action if i didnt ""straighten"" my life. That was the last final straw I felt scared but I called the police and they suggested I file for a restraining order which I did that night I went and got a interim protective order which would last 24 hours and then went to court again to get a temporary protective order which lasts for 7 days. So now I just have one more court date where I will have to stand in front of the judge and my father w evidence I've gathered. I'm scared but know this is what I have to do in order to get full freedom from this crazy psychotic man. ",-0.9929,negative,devastated
197,MentalHealthSupport,Finally left my abusive family! How do I support myself??,listener_1,2,do you have somewhere to live,0.0,neutral,questioning
197,MentalHealthSupport,Finally left my abusive family! How do I support myself??,speaker,3,Not anywhere I feel safe. I've been a gypsy lately either sleeping in hotels or over at friends house,0.7184,positive,lonely
198,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of my thoughts..,speaker,1,"I distract myself from my own thoughts. My thoughts seem dangerous, they lead me places where I do not want to be. By distracting myself with music, TV, etc. I can avoid them. I almost create a false reality and it’s starting to freak me out. I look in the mirror and can’t recognize myself anymore. I want to drop everything and just drive. Drive far far away..but then in a couple of hours i’ll be totally fine BUT the cycle continues. It’s a continuous cycle. I almost feel like I have separate lives, different people see a different version of myself. I have the mentality that i can be whoever I want to be, and the only person who knows everything is myself. I’ve become obsessed with my thoughts and I honestly don’t know how to escape. No one would ever know that i deal with this burden in my brain, i’m just a young girl who looks like she’s having fun.   Not really asking anything, just a personal rant on a throwaway account.",0.041,neutral,terrified
198,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of my thoughts..,listener_1,2,I feel that.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
198,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of my thoughts..,speaker,3,Ya talked to my doctor and she gave me a referral for cognitive behavioural therapy....I think it’s disassociation as well...thank you!,0.0,neutral,grateful
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,speaker,1,"I've been having a lot of family issues and today I went to the doctor to go get my ear checked because it has been hurting, i get there me and I go through everything, etc. I told the doctor a out how I'm getting heart pains, dizziness, and really bad headaches. He says it was from stress and I turn to my mom and say that I dont want to watch my baby sister anymore, I'm 15 and I have my own mental problems and i dont think I'm mentally okay to watch her because all i feel like doing half of the time is to strangle her.. I know its wrong but I dont know what to do I dont want to hurt anybody and it's a feeling I've been having and my baby sister just thinks it's a joke to hurt and scream at me. My mom just turns away to the doctor and says that I've been so angry with her (I have my own personal reasons) and I started tearing up because she does this all the time,  i just feel like she enjoys twisting things on me and I dont think she cares about how I feel because she kept going even after I was crying and the doctor wasnt even phased that I was crying either. After the appointment my mom started to argue with me and I kept crying until I reatched home and locked myself  in my room to get away. My baby sister started banging on my door while I just felt like absolute shit, my head is pounding I feel like throwing up and I just feel like I'm in complete agony, it's been hours and I sti feel this way and my dad just came into my room to get my phone charger (me and my mom share it because my cat chewed mine) I'm shirtless and in shorts and in a bra so I freak out because i dont want him seeing me. And I start to try and hide behind things because I'm scare and I dont want him seeing me. I accidentally break glass and he suddenly becomes nicer and I'm there crying and my knee/leg is bouncing like crazy and I'm trying not to hyperventilate. I dont know if I'm okay and I really want help I'm sorry to bother you all",-0.9866,negative,ashamed
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,listener_1,2,"Okay first thing: don't hyperventilate, you'll make yourself pass out. Which will lead to an uncomfortable situation if someone finds you unconscious. Second thing, you are absolutely right to want help. There is NOTHING wrong with needing help and you realizing that you're not okay, is a good step. I know being a teenager can suck, and it sucks even more when you have needless stresses put on to your shoulders. I would sit down with mom, having her undivided attention and explain to her that you are not in a state of mind to be caring for a child that you did not even bring into this world. Explain to her that leaving a child in your care while you are mentally unavailable can be considered negligent, even endangerment if you think about hurting her, even if you don't think you will. The only body you should have control over is your own. Nothing can be okay until you're okay. You need to take care of you. That should be your only responsibility until you know where you're head's at and why it's there. So many people that are dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, go without help until it's too late. I really don't want that to be you. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to, someone to cry to, someone to tell you it's okay. I'm sorry this is so long but I really want you to be okay. Regardless of knowing you or not. It's going to be okay. There are a number of options when it comes to getting help. There are therapists that work for free or on a sliding scale, there are even free therapists that do online sessions. There are also mental health hotlines I believe and mental health crisis centers that you can call if you are absolutely in a mental crisis and they will pick you up and give you a place to stay for 24 hours while you clear your head. I learned about these things in a hospital, when I was stressed and anxious also. I really hope you find something useful in this unintended novel that I wrote. If you need someone to talk to and you can't find anyone to listen, my inbox is open. It's going to be okay.",0.9523,positive,agreeing
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,speaker,3,"My mom just thinks it's all about her and my baby sister, my mom wont acknowledge my mental health. I've been talking to my consular about family issues and stuff and I just dont know what to do in life. Right now I just checked a convo on my boyfriend's account of a girl that I've been worried about for the past year and just saw that he offered to date her 2 times which just makes me worse (my parents dont know about him thankfully :') ) I'm really sorry to bother you",-0.35200000000000004,negative,afraid
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,listener_1,4,"You're not bothering me there's no reason to apologise. If I was bothered I could have just scrolled past and said nothing. The thing you need to do in life right now is worry about you. You're still young school should be #1. I know you're probably tired of hearing that, I know I was as a teenager, but it's true. Everything else will fall into place when it's ready. Can you talk to your dad? Maybe he would be willing to talk to your mom for you? I think it would be different hearing it from him that you need some help. Part of your stresses it seems like, is that you can't go to your mom. As a teenage girl, this is a very trying time in your life as you're figuring out who you are what you want to do with your life, who you really want in your life. not being able to talk to the one woman who might understand and put your mind at ease can feel isolating. And at 15, to be honest, I was dating the worst of all my boyfriends in high school. You don't need that added stress right now. At 15 boys in high school are fucking stupid and they will be for a while. They think talking to as many girls as possible will make them look cooler to their friends, but they don't realize that you girls are more mature and have actual feelings that they can hurt. I know it can be comforting to have a boyfriend, but having one that's hurting you isn't worth it. Especially when there are others that are just waiting for him to mess up so they can come rescue you, metaphorically.",0.7089,positive,questioning
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,speaker,5,"I just thought the guy I was dating was different than that, but yeah they are and do do that. Thank you for helping me :') I'm scared of my parents I feel like my dad will hit me because when I was younger he used to hit me due to discipline for what he called it but to me thats not the way to teach a child anything :') I talk to my consular though and pretty sure I said that earlier. I havent been to school for 3 school days due to constant drama with my family and stuff.",0.9761,positive,trusting
199,MentalHealthSupport,Am I okay?,speaker,6,"I have online friends who help me, I have 2 really good ones who have been helping me for years and I introduced both of them and they became instant friends which made me happy. I really thank you for not hitting your children, to me nobody deserves to get physically hurt just because they dont know how to express things. Because getting hit like that makes me terrified itll happen again, last week I was hiding in my moms closet yelling at my dad to go away because I was scared of him hitting me, that whole situation came from me just wanting 2 of those croissants you can bake in the oven while my baby sister got the rest. I didn't eat any of them and my baby sister got all of them :' ) i dont know if it's bad that i want to be taken away from my family, like I tried once back in 6th grade but my parents got out of it by saying it was discipline to hit me",0.6178,positive,grateful
200,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help,speaker,1,"Hi, this is a throwaway account so if you can talk to me message me and I will give you my main (also mobile sorry for formatting.   I am 14 years old and I think I have mental health issues. I know I suffer from some severity of anxiety and get quite stressed easily, but I have been beginning to think I'm depressed. Idk, I'm probably not and just overacting but yeh if you wanna take waste some time talking to me please do, it'd be appreciated",-0.6258,negative,sympathizing
200,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help,listener_1,2,"depression= deep rest, your body and soul need a deep rest, no one can change your reality but you, you control your own life, my best advice is for you to focus on improving mental, think smarter, become mentally smarter than everyone else",0.9481,positive,consoling
200,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help,speaker,3,"Thanks, I think I get what your saying",0.4404,positive,agreeing
200,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help,listener_1,4,"if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me, im 18 btw, don't think im a pervert or something lol",0.4215,positive,agreeing
200,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help,speaker,5,"Cool, I'll take u up on that offer soon. Thanks",0.6369,positive,acknowledging
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,speaker,1,"I’m going to do it, please don’t tell me not to. I have a day and method picked, but I need to get things sorted before then. Who do I write a note to? Do I write a note? What do I put in it? How do I make sure my family don’t find my body? How do I make sure people don’t blame themselves? How do I ease their pain?",0.4956,positive,prepared
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,speaker,2,"Also, what do I need to sort out to make my death less of a burden on them, both their time and their money",-0.7605,negative,agreeing
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,speaker,3,"i couldn’t tell the person i worry about the most, but i told one of my best friends. i’m gonna get some help and give this a go, thank you, thank you.",0.964,positive,neutral
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,listener_1,4,That’s amazing. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.,0.5859,positive,acknowledging
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,speaker,5,i’m not dead! i’m getting some help and i’m trying to stay alive a little longer,0.8416,positive,hopeful
201,MentalHealthSupport,How do I kill myself in a way to hurt my family and friends the least,listener_2,6,"I'm so glad you're here and getting assistance. I lost my father to suicide 2 months ago, and he tried to do it in a way that would reduce the pain. I can honestly say nothing will ever reduce the pain of him leaving.   I went to a bereavement group and there were people still attending after 20 years because the pain never goes away. Please believe me when I say life is better with you in it. From the heart of a massively grieving daughter, I am so glad you chose  and continue to choose life, both for yourself and your loved ones",0.0509,positive,grateful
202,MentalHealthSupport,How do i ask my Mom to go to therapy?,speaker,1,"i’ve been looking around i think this is a good place to post this, if not please let me know where i should post it.  I’m going to try keep this short.  I keep flipping between feeling empty and overwhelmed, I’m constantly burnt out despite never doing anything, and I’m cutting myself practically everyday. i’m pretty sure something is wrong because this has lasted for about 2 1/2 weeks and i’m not improving.  How do i tell my mom i think i need a therapist? i don’t want to tell her about the cutting because i don’t want her to feel bad. How do i show her that this is serious without making her worry too much? my dad is around but i’m not as close to him so i don’t feel comfortable telling him.  I will take any advise honestly.",0.8546,positive,sad
202,MentalHealthSupport,How do i ask my Mom to go to therapy?,listener_1,2,"Wow I totally relate to the empty and overwhelmed thing. I recently asked my mom to put me into therapy, which was really hard, because I'm bad at asking for help. I was really embarrassed of the way I've been feeling, and I really hate talking about it, but I realized I had to because it was just getting worse. First I talked to my sister because we're closer than my mom and i. I was worried she would think I was crazy because of the way I've been feeling, but she listened to what I had to say, and then helped me tell my mom.  Honestly, I just told my mom that I haven't been feeling like myself lately, and that I've been having a hard time, along with some of the more specific things I'm dealing with.  She was really understanding, and telling her didn't make me feel worse like I thought it would. I haven't gone to therapy yet, but I really think it will help me. Good luck telling your mom.",-0.0025,neutral,apprehensive
202,MentalHealthSupport,How do i ask my Mom to go to therapy?,speaker,3,Thank you for telling me your story and wishing me luck. i had hit rock bottom when i made this post and when nobody responded i felt really alone. Your response really helped. Thank you so so much.,0.7836,positive,wishing
202,MentalHealthSupport,How do i ask my Mom to go to therapy?,listener_1,4,I'm glad i was able to help. Whatever you're feeling just know you are not alone. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here.,0.787,positive,grateful
203,MentalHealthSupport,Getting depressed being a caretaker,speaker,1,I joined this group because my sisters health is slowly deteriorating & it’s making me feel physically ill.    This only triggers me to feel bad about feeling bad.  I count my blessings but I feel empty.  I’m even exhausted sleeping ... at the end of the day I am whining ... blah blah blah .  I suck,-0.9377,negative,sad
203,MentalHealthSupport,Getting depressed being a caretaker,listener_1,2,"I think you have a right to feel tired. You don't have to feel guilty about feeling bad. q1 You have to accept your feelings, you are human and you get tired. So just let yourself feel what you are feeling.  I feel you though, coz I have mentally ill siblings also (schizophrenic and psychotic) and has to take care of them also, but it's more on my brother who's hard to take care of.  Hugs to you. You are your sister's hero and You deserve all the best! Keep fighting",0.9348,positive,caring
203,MentalHealthSupport,Getting depressed being a caretaker,speaker,3,"Good morning and thank you for the supportive words. I read this last night before I went to sleep and it helped me,  my dreams were chaotic but I was abled to sleep.    This morning I can sleep in ... I’ll be w my sis this afternoon.  Get her ready for a week of appointments and my week of work.   I wish you a good day and i hope your brother is okay too!  He’s fortunate to have you.   Thank you again for writing me back!",0.981,positive,wishing
204,MentalHealthSupport,When to worry about intrusive suicidal thoughts,speaker,1,"So I have ADHD and since that diagnosis and treatment my generalized anxiety disorder has been in a remission of sorts, or gone, for over 6 years. My ADHD causes lots of problems, and at times makes me feel lazy, worthless, useless when I cant do things that normal adults are supposed to like clean my house or write a fucking email. I've been coping with a therapist for a while now but I've been noticing this semester of college, my last semester, my stress has peaked and my anxiety has been popping in to say hello every every now and then, but doctors wont medicate me for the issue. I dont blame them and dont necessarily want to be back on klonopin, as it ruined my life for 4 years as one doctor drugged me into infinity on the max dose and I became numb and I'm afraid of that. However I've noticed these intrusive suicidal thoughts. I've never been the type to ever seriously think about this and have always said, and still believe, I would never fucking kill myself. But it started with jokes about it, as any late 20s millennial under school/work stress. But its started inserting itself into my head when I dont want it to. I play it off as a joke and tell my close friend who i think is even starting to worry about me. Most recently I walked out of the room and said something  random like ""I need to get my pillow"" and my brain said ""how funny would it be if you said something totally random and nonchalant and then just walked out of the room and shot yourself"" I told him about it and laughed it off. I am a firm believer that we need to have the ability to laugh about tough subjects and that's how we cope, but it feels like my brain is slowly rewiring to think about it constantly. I dont get urges to, I get scenarios in my head. I even went so far once to make a joke about committing sepaku with my little tactical knife then when my friend was watching i got up to use the bathroom and made sure he saw me slyly take the knife with me to the bathroom. It was a joke, albeit writing this now, it seems a little fucked. But this is what my brain is doing now and it's getting worse as finals approach in a few days and my ADHD brain has put off studying for 2 weeks. I now have like 2 days to cram and I hate myself for it. My brain is putting all these scenarios before me about not being able to find a job after this, or my long term boyfriend leaving me, or failing and not graduating after 4 long years of work. I think I'm having a hard time coping with adult ADHD. Depression runs in my family but I'll be the first to say I've never experienced anything remotely like what my mother has. Sometimes I neglect myself and dont want to even brush my hair, or I lock myself in with agoraphobic tenancies but I haven't been sad, or hopeless or anything. I've just been distracting myself trying to ignore lifes stress. I dont know what I should do or when to worry. I dont know if my therapist is the right person for this as he specializes in ADHD and if i mention this he probably will think im trying to get out of my finals because he honestly knows me too well and I might pull something like this. But i also dont want to be put on antidepressants. I went through that for years during my klonopin phase and after being tried on -literally- EVERY class of antidepressants, I have the adverse black box warning reactions to them all- suicidal thoughts and actions or allergic reactions. I was told to never take them again. So I dont even know what could be done for me. Anyways, when should I worry for myself? I'm a smart, very self aware but stubborn person so hit me with your hardest and most honest shit because I'm lost at this point.",-0.9875,negative,ashamed
204,MentalHealthSupport,When to worry about intrusive suicidal thoughts,listener_1,2,"Intrusive thoughts are tricksy little asshats. I've been dealing with a form of OCD for the past decade that sends a constant stream of these exact sort of intrusive thoughts through my brain. I call it my ""Golem"".   To start off, keep in mind is that if you thought it was true then it wouldn't be making you so anxious. If you wanted to kill yourself, then you'd be thinking about actually killing yourself. Not whether or not you had some secret deep dark desire to kill yourself and maybe someday you'll just suddenly accidently on purpose kill yourself.   The second thing I can offer is something I learned in exposure therapy. Try to treat the thoughts as things that simply pass by. As having no more power over your mood or life than if you were driving down the street and noticed someone had some really hideous curtains in their windows. ""Damn that was ugly"" and keep moving on. Ugly exists, but you can't stop at every house and change their curtains. Roll you eyes and shudder, make a joke if one feels right, or just ignore it.   I hope that helps, I'm in a bit of a rush at this exact moment but please feel free to reach out if you'd like to chat. This topic is very much in my wheelhouse.",0.7449,positive,anxious
204,MentalHealthSupport,When to worry about intrusive suicidal thoughts,speaker,3,"This helps alot. I was kind of thinking this man be some manifestation of OCD. I already have a form of OCD than makes me obsessive over my handwriting, but it's more classic OCD in that I obsess over fears of not being able to understand material when studying or I'll forget an appointment etc, if I dont write perfectly in pen, and if I make a mistake I must start over. I'm staring down at 10+ sheets of paper I've had to start over today while studying. Wasting 5 hours on nothing is great. I think youre probably right and these thoughts are making me more paranoid of becoming depressed and acting on the thoughts than actual concern that I'm going to, if that makes sense. I've had a little bit of exposure therapy for my handwriting (I have a hard time sticking to things as may be apparent from my still obsessive writing) but I'm not sure how to approach an intrusive thought when I have no driving compulsion with it. With writing I have to sick and deal with the anxiety of staring at my mistakes and not rewriting but how does one deal with an intrusive thought compulsion?",-0.9936,negative,anxious
204,MentalHealthSupport,When to worry about intrusive suicidal thoughts,listener_2,4,"Hey, synomymforhappy, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
204,MentalHealthSupport,When to worry about intrusive suicidal thoughts,speaker,5,"Lmao, wow. I'm sitting here thinking ""Man sometimes I feel like a fucking failure and can't do anything right"" and here comes misspelling bot with his helpful reminder of my incompetency. Let's cross ""AI Therapists"" off the future good ideas list.",0.9063,positive,surprised
205,MentalHealthSupport,Round and round the thoughts merry go round.,speaker,1,"My ocd makes my instructive thoughts nonstop and consuming me. And I’m on my phone at such late hours because the second I stop numbing he pain with my phone I’ll get bad thoughts and then in those moments I have to cope by hurting myself or binging or god knows what. And I spent 5 hours just staring at my makeup on and off or looking up makeup on the internet. And I’m full of so many registers.   And I also have PTSD. And I don’t fully understand why and how these things are happening or the reason behind why certain things are going on. And I’m so afraid.   My therapist says that it’s going to be a huge mountain to climb, and I would say I’m starting to believe that death is better, but I can’t because I “started” to believe that 7 years ago, when I was 12. Now wanting to die is just part of the routine.",-0.8885,negative,embarrassed
205,MentalHealthSupport,Round and round the thoughts merry go round.,listener_1,2,"I hate intrusive thoughts!  I have been on that ride for many years before i found my way off, took many, many things,including getting older before: but for now, realize your on the right path, you did not listen to those voices for 7 years so you must have found enough reasons not to act on those thoughts during that time.Do you always listen to tv when someone else is watching or do you just start to tune it out? Maybe you could try listening to something on your mp3 or whatever it is now, i think im getting old! Have you tried dbt therapy talk to your therapist and see what they say.sometimes for me the intrusive thoughts of self harm and suicide just floated around out there with ""i really feel like an apple"" and ""i think i need to put in a load of laundry"".Not every thought has to be attended to seriously.It seems overwhelming.It seems like ""i just cant take it anymore!"" You can, you will , one step in front of the other,a little at a time,You can! 🎠The merry-go-round doesn't have to beat you.Happy Easter🐰!",-0.8625,negative,suggesting
205,MentalHealthSupport,Round and round the thoughts merry go round.,speaker,3,"Wow you are so loving. Big big big giant hugs to you. I’m currently starting CBT with my therapist, as that will help me cope with trauma, but maybe down the like, CBT can also be used.   I cant wait for the day where the suicidal thoughts hold the same gravity as wanting an apple. Maybe the merry go round doesn’t have to beat me after all.",0.8018,positive,wishing
206,MentalHealthSupport,I want to hurt myself.,speaker,1,"I hate my body. I have an inverted triangle shape. I’ve spent countless hours researching how to dress to flatter my shape, and it’s so fucking limiting. There’s such a small array of things that I can wear that don’t look absolutely fucking horrendous on me, and even then, it doesn’t really look good. I never get to have fun with clothes. I literally just buy stuff when it flatters my body because it’s so rare to be able to find something that doesn’t look horrible on me.  Clothes are not made to fit my body type. The inverted triangle is the least desirable.  Just like I’ve spent hours researching how to dress with my body type, I’ve also spent countless hours crying, because it will never change. I’m always going to look like this. And I want to punish myself. I want to get surgery that makes my shoulders less broad and I hope that it hurts a lot and that after I get the surgery, I won’t be able to move my arms. I want to punish myself. I can’t stand being in this body anymore. I’m losing my fucking mind. I’ll always carry my weight on my top half and have no hips and will have boobs that are too big to fit into anything, even if I do end up losing more weight. I’ll always look like this. I fucking hate it.",-0.9513,negative,disappointed
206,MentalHealthSupport,I want to hurt myself.,listener_1,2,"I don't think anyone feels great about the clothes they wear. Even if you think ""oh that person knows they look great""---they probably think they look hideous or feel uncomfortable too. But you don't need to punish yourself, you don't deserve it.",0.6613,positive,jealous
206,MentalHealthSupport,I want to hurt myself.,speaker,3,You’re right. This was written in a moment of weakness. I’m trying not to have such hateful thoughts.hopefully one day I won’t treat myself with such malice,-0.5106,negative,hopeful
206,MentalHealthSupport,I want to hurt myself.,listener_1,4,We all have those days. Cut yourself a break!,-0.3382,negative,questioning
207,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate myself so much.,speaker,1,"I can say it. I’m a good looking young guy and I try really hard to challenge myself and be vulnerable around others. I can say it, I can almost believe it. But I also can’t.  I’ve had social and personal struggles like everyone else. Ever since elementary school I was the quietest person in school. I still carry a part of that with me even though it wouldn’t be true anymore. I fuckin’ hate myself man. I go to therapy and I learn coping strategies to not beat myself up but once I leave sessions I instantly feel like a piece of shit. And I even have what I feel is my best therapist yet.  What has happened to me to make me feel inferior? To always feel guilty and shame and embarrassment. Why is my self-esteem so bad? I don’t know how to pay myself on the back mentally. I give myself physical rewards like food but then I just feel gross. I want to like myself because it’s in my best favor but it truly feels impossible sometimes. I lack identity and I’m lost.",-0.74,negative,ashamed
207,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate myself so much.,listener_1,2,"I don’t have a good answer for you but I do empathize with you. I can’t stand myself, and when I get to a good mental space I just ignore that fact because it doesn’t bother me at the moment, but as soon as I have an episode the self-loathing comes roaring back because I didn’t fix it while stable. If I ever figure out my own self-hatred I’ll be sure to pass it on to whoever it would help.",0.8294,positive,sad
207,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate myself so much.,speaker,3,Very kind words. It’s helped me through today thank you <3,0.7346,positive,grateful
207,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate myself so much.,listener_2,4,I’m unbelievably happy to hear that. May your days and your life get easier to cope with ❤️,0.7778,positive,consoling
208,MentalHealthSupport,Death,speaker,1,"The utter lack of self esteem and self love and care for myself is outstanding to me. I’m fucking hopeless, the most lost cause kid, depresssion is overcoming me and my ability to react appropriately my ability to speak my ability to wake up to go to class to talk to teachers to even put on a smile is so fucking hard. I can’t stop vaping even though it makes me sick every day. Weed is my fuel.  A day with no weed can leave me with no sleep and no energy no hunger and anger to the extreme. I hate myself truly and I feel like my family does to. I’m stuck in a fucking rut where everyone is just misunderstanding me and fucking w my head everything is in my head and I cannot get them out I’m in fear everyday and Suicide is becoming a nearer future everyday for me",-0.9138,negative,ashamed
208,MentalHealthSupport,Death,listener_1,2,"What is it that you hate about yourself? Your lack of self confidence? I just want you to think about the fact that even if you hate every single thing about yourself, there is someone who loves those very things about you. Over thinking can be our worst enemy at times, but you have to find a way to control it. I would suggest maybe try walking as a start. There are a lot of people that deal with stress, depression, anxiety with exercise of some sort. It releases endorphins and helps keep bad thoughts away. Maybe you just need an outlet. To air out your frustrations. Find something you like to do, maybe you need to try a few new things in order to find that one thing that you didn't know you loved but now you do. I deal with a crippling social anxiety that makes it nearly impossible for me to talk to adults without wanting to cry or run away or something else irrational. But being outside with my headphones on listening to a podcast or music makes me feel 10000x better for some reason. Being outside when people can't talk to me is so releasing for me. I go out for walks at 3am sometimes because I can breathe the fresh air and not have to worry about people around me. Find something like that to help you work through some of your frustrations. Take a boxing class, maybe go for a jog, take some pictures, do some drawing or painting, anything you like to do. Take that first step to try to help yourself.",-0.7422,negative,suggesting
208,MentalHealthSupport,Death,speaker,3,Thank u so much 😢,-0.2212,negative,wishing
208,MentalHealthSupport,Death,listener_1,4,I hope it helps in some way. I dealt with depression as well a few years ago and all I wanted some someone to talk to. If I can be that person for you or anyone else that feels like this I would do it any day. I really want you to feel better.,0.8357,positive,caring
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,speaker,1,"I am very often anxious about everything and when people sometimes talk to me i just want to keep quiet and not say anything.I dont have any diagnosed mental ilnesses or anything but like two thirds of my day (or more) im very anxious about everything i say or do and just dont want to talk to people.When im around my parents i act normal and always try to put on a smile,but the times i havent they didnt even realize.I cant tell my parents because everytime im next to them and think about telling them im just kind of paralyzed or shocked and just thinking that if i say something theyre going to give out to me and try to somehow convince me that im ok although i dont feel so and i just have a feeling like if i tell them something bad will happen and because of that i havent been able to talk to them about it for multiple months but i feel like i need to but i cant.I feel that if i talk to my sister the same thing will happen.What should i do now i cant go to a doctor because im too young to go alone.   NOTE:Theyre not bad parents i just feel off about telling them about it.",0.639,positive,anxious
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,listener_1,2,"It’s an excellent start that you are sharing here.  It’s very hard to open up.  Maybe tell your doctor, they can keep things confidential and maybe get you to a group.  Even if it’s a pediatrician, I think they could help you.  My therapist helps, I feel safe in her office & I know my story stays there.    I used to talk a lot, but now I don’t want to talk at all.  I feel safe in anonymous land.",0.8957,positive,trusting
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,speaker,3,The thing is i moved like a year or two ago so i dont know right now who is my doctor iwe never visited him and i dont know how to find one since im only 13 (if that makes any difference),0.3612,positive,neutral
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,speaker,4,One of my teachers realised that im always down/dont want to participate in class but i have a feeling that she will secretly tell my parents or something also the people in my class most of them are nosey and want to help by asking you a ton of questions so it makes you even more anxious and it gets annoying so i think that they will hear whats happening and annoy/bully me about it about the walk thing iwe tried to tell them about it but i cant force myself to do so my aunts uncles and such arent close to me,-0.4194,negative,apprehensive
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,speaker,5,"Umm one thing,im not in america",0.0,neutral,agreeing
209,MentalHealthSupport,What do i do?,speaker,6,Well iwe most of the symptoms of anxiety but i cant really say iwe anxiety accrding to a site i need to like go to a doctor but anyway thanks for the idea of asking my parents about their childhood im going to try that,0.7054,positive,neutral
210,MentalHealthSupport,PTSD and OCD!,speaker,1,"I was diagnosed with both PTSD and OCD very recently. Does anyone have any helpful tips on how to cope with, heal, or minimize symptoms of either disorder?  Better yet, if any of you have both OCD and PTSD, you know how they interact to form a jumbled up mess of PTSD thoughts but from a lens of obsession. If you have any tips on how you combat having both disorders at a time that would also be lovely!",0.1386,positive,questioning
210,MentalHealthSupport,PTSD and OCD!,listener_1,2,"DBT skills and skills groups! Look on the internet thing to see if you have any groups in your area. Helps a lot. Cheers to you for committing to your health and recovery! Remember also, short term pains for long term gains. Practice mindfulness and meditation even if it's for 2 minutes a day. Any bit helps.",0.8309,positive,wishing
210,MentalHealthSupport,PTSD and OCD!,speaker,3,I like the way you see things!!! Best of luck to you in your journey. :),0.927,positive,wishing
211,MentalHealthSupport,Finally been referred to a mental health specialist by my GP after 3 years of declining mental health,speaker,1,But I’m a little worried. This is in the U.K. btw on the NHS. All I know is I have an appointment with a woman on Thursday but I’m not sure if she is a legit doctor who can prescribe and diagnose problems or just someone to talk to,-0.8102,negative,apprehensive
211,MentalHealthSupport,Finally been referred to a mental health specialist by my GP after 3 years of declining mental health,listener_1,2,"13 years depression and anxiety treatment on the NHS here.   She will be a qualified mental health practitioner but it's unlikely she'll be a psychiatrist, unless your GP requested one.    My experience has been that the GP does the diagnosis and prescribing and the mental health service providers do talking treatment. Your GP should have provided information on your issues to the mental health service who then select an appropriately trained person to talk to. This can just be talking (counciling), or they can use techniques to help you develop healthier thoughts and behaviours (therapy).   If your GP wasn't sure what to diagnose you with they can request a mental health assessment.  The kind of help you get depends on what is troubling you. It is likely that the person you're seeing can make a diagnosis or at least a recommendation to your GP.   At your first session they should go through what the seasons are for, what you need to do, what you can expect them to do, what the goal is etc.   Sessions are confidential, they will only break confidentiality if you are a danger to yourself or others.   Be honest with them, it will help them give you the best support they can.",0.889,positive,trusting
211,MentalHealthSupport,Finally been referred to a mental health specialist by my GP after 3 years of declining mental health,speaker,3,I made a 2 page list of my symptoms and handed it to my GP. She forwarded the list to the mental health team so I assume we’ll be talking about what I wrote down.  I’ll be honest ofcourse. I want the help. Just don’t wanna be sectioned,0.743,positive,trusting
211,MentalHealthSupport,Finally been referred to a mental health specialist by my GP after 3 years of declining mental health,listener_2,4,I feel ya about not wanting to be sectioned. But as long as you're honest and accepting of the help you're less likely to get sectioned. That's what I've found in my personal experiences. I wish you all the best! I hope everything will go well <3,0.9827,positive,wishing
212,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy?,speaker,1,"Ok, so, I know I'm already diagnosed with some mental disorders like depression and anxiety, of course a few others but I'm just wanting to generalize here. Anyway, I don't know why but lately I've had this overwhelming feeling to lash out and scream for no apparent reason. Like, I want to scream out all the emotions until I fall to the floor, wake up the next morning, and feel like new. Is this crazy? Like.. when I say I want to scream I really mean blood curdling there may or may not be a murderer type scream. I also have had the overwhelming urge to smash plates/glass. I'm not bipolar- it was a misdiagnoses and has yet to be rectified- so I dont think it's that and I've never felt this way before except when I was about 14 yo. So... tell me... is this what some people or yourself experience when there may be a lot of stress or something involver and just dont know it? Thank you for anything!",-0.9041,negative,terrified
212,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy?,listener_1,2,"This is normal in my experience. I’m also diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder. These sudden urges and emotional outbursts are a good thing. Feeling anything is better than feeling nothing at all. All the emotions that you’ve bottled up for so long need a release. My suggestion would be to find an outlet or a medium to express those feelings, such as exercise, painting, or writing. Also try not to mask what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it and try finding someone who you can talk to about those thoughts and feelings going on inside your head. It’s important to try and confront your feelings instead of ignoring them.",-0.0772,negative,anxious
212,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy?,speaker,3,"I have tried to cope but maybe it is making my issues that is making it worse. I'll find another outlet possibly because I think you're right, I'm building up the feelings.",-0.631,negative,suggesting
212,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy?,speaker,4,"Maybe that's what I should do, just go super saiyan and maybe I'll feel better! Lol Thank you, this made me smile.",0.9312,positive,suggesting
212,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy?,listener_2,5,"Aww! I’m so happy to hear that. Glad I could help somewhat. On my worst days, I tend to try for super saiyan 3 but I don’t have the lungs for that lol.",0.8672,positive,sympathizing
213,MentalHealthSupport,What would you say it is?,speaker,1,If you got drunk at a party and drunk you was looking for sex even though you’re too drunk to even know where you’re walking and you black out and shit and you wake up with in a quick scene that someone is having sex with you then black out again.. Would you consider that rape or not since you consented to it somehow anyway even if you barely remember fucking asking or even doing it.  What do you think?,-0.9153,negative,questioning
213,MentalHealthSupport,What would you say it is?,listener_1,2,Impossible to answer.  We don't know if you consented.  We also don't know if the other person consented.,0.0,neutral,anxious
213,MentalHealthSupport,What would you say it is?,speaker,3,"I can remember asking around being such a hoe but thinking back, I wish it never happened. But it’s just regret. But I remember feeling so horrified and ashamed that it happened the day after. And I don’t think the dude was even that intoxicated at all.",-0.9039,negative,ashamed
213,MentalHealthSupport,What would you say it is?,speaker,4,"This actually happened a few years back but lately (for some time now) I can’t help but feel vulnerable and scared when I have sex with my partner and I’m trying to find a reason why (first time Im intimate with someone again for a while)  and this one thing that happened to me that I feel it shouldn’t have keeps popping in my head. It is regret but I also feel exploited at the same time. And I have the bar but honestly don’t know if a condom was used. Blacked out, woke up someone was on top of me, blacked out again right after, woke up the next day feeling so fucking horrified realising what happened.",-0.8752,negative,apprehensive
214,MentalHealthSupport,Worried about friend - unsure next steps,speaker,1,"Hi everyone,   I am worried about one of my close friends whose life has taken a sudden turn mental health wise and what to do.   I have been friends with this guy, Matt, for about 8 years. I knew a bit about his past (abusive family) and that he struggled with mental health, but he didn't greatly talk about it. He has been in and out of therapy for the past 3 years, and was diagnosed with cyclothymia about 2 years ago, but was too scared to get on medication - so talk therapy and the coping they taught him were what he was working with.   This has led to a blow up and he broke down, I was there to support him through it, but now he has cut me off. During his break down he broke up with his long term girlfriend of almost 6 years, who he was utterly in love with. From what I knew of their relationship it was happy and healthy, and his ex loved him dearly, as he did her. The end of their relationship was sudden, and he said himself he didn't think about it before it happened - something switched and he decided it was over. He essentially just cut her off and stopped talking to her - she tried to fight for him, but essentially was too drained after weeks and so has left him alone. He told me at the time he was breaking up with her because he wanted to work on this mental health journey alone and focus on himself, which I respected, and from a brief conversation I had with his ex she does too. I do not think she is aware of what is happening now as he doesn't want her to find out and hurt her.   Matt started going to a professional about the week after the break up, and got diagnosed officially with bipolar, ptsd, anxiety, and depression. He was started on medications for these, a friend of his (Maisie) also just got out of a 1.5 year relationship, and had a bad childhood. Matt moved out of his home (a week following his breakdown and break up) which he shared with our good friend, and into Maisie's house 'to keep each other accountable to go to therapy'. They then about a week or so later embarked on a romantic relationship, and adopted a dog together! All through this he was not really talking to his other friends, but would talk to me a little bit as I was making a lot of effort.   I called him out on the weirdness and rashness of the situation, even if he is falling for Maisie, it seems to intense to move in together and co-own a dog after dating for a few weeks (right!?). Especially as he ended his relationship because he needed to work on himself. I don’t think he had feelings for Maisie prior to this. He was always very practical, and didn't want to rush into things, but he is convinced this is the girl he will marry now.  He was very much in love with his ex, and I don't doubt that he was, but he is now claiming he never loved her or felt for her at all, yet at the same time he got upset with me for accidentally playing a song she likes because he can't deal with it! He thinks that everything he is doing is good because he thinks now he is on medication everything is fine and he is healthy enough to embark on a relationship, but it seems too fresh to be so serious!   I am concerned about him, and that he is ignoring his issues, and that this will all blow up in his face. I can't imagine such serious and prolonged mental health issues can be solved in a week, and that he can be in a healthy relationship already with such high commitment.   He is now cutting me, and pretty much all his friends off, and only hanging out with Maisie. I am unsure what to do to stop it, and help him see sense! He is going to therapist, and I obviously don't know what is discussed there, but surely they cannot condone this? Am I being crazy? Should I just let him get on with it? Can it be healthy?",0.9947,positive,anxious
214,MentalHealthSupport,Worried about friend - unsure next steps,listener_1,2,"It doesn't sound healthy, but at this point I don't really think it's up to you to fix it. He has to sort these issues out himself with the help of his therapist. Best you can do is be there for him, and listen to him if he needs it. Maybe try to steer him in the right direction? But if he's really convinced about this, I don't think any amount of pushing from you will change that. Might even have the opposing effect. But that's just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.",0.9288,positive,suggesting
214,MentalHealthSupport,Worried about friend - unsure next steps,speaker,3,"Yes, you are right, nothing I can do to fix it. I guess I just wanted to check if this is actually healthy behaviour, and I am just viewing it wrong because I am worried and it is all so sudden.  I think me talking has only seemed to send him to the opposite way, so perhaps time to take a step back, but make myself available for support in the fall out?",0.5574,positive,suggesting
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,speaker,1,Let me give some backstory.  I (17 soon to be 18 M) currently live at my fathers place after running away at 16 from living with my mother who is mentally unstable and whom I've cut contact with completely and is pretty much dead to me.  This past year living with my father and his woman has not been easy. I've had to get used to taking the blame for absolutely everything and being told that I'm worthless and never do anything.  All of this while struggling with long term depression and an eating disorder (anorexia). (The people I live with are completely oblivious to when it comes to mental health etc and think its all imaginary.)  I literally have no clue of what to do. I have absolutely 0 friends and getting stomped on and harassed by the practically the only person in my life is taking too much energy.   I'm hoping that I can move out as soon as possible and cut contact with this parent too. But dont know if I'm able to hold on for so long 😕.   Sry if I misspelled.,-0.9231,negative,lonely
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,listener_1,2,"For starters I’m so sorry you have to go through this. No one deserves to be treated this way least of all by a parent.   A massive help to me was getting into therapy. If you could try this in the short term it may help you get through this, if you aren’t able to access this id also recommend seeking out some online support from mental health websites, there are some where you can text a mental health expert and they can be a huge help.   One thing to remember is that eventually you will be able to move to a safer environment. It may seem like it’s a life time away but it isn’t I promise you.  I’m so sorry for this and hope you going ok.",0.9188,positive,sympathizing
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,listener_1,3,Oh and know that you are not worthless at all. No matter what.,0.3252,positive,agreeing
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,speaker,4,"Thanks for taking the time to read! Means a lot to me. It has always been hard for me to belive that I don't matter, but I find myself holding on either way.",0.2512,positive,grateful
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,listener_1,5,Don’t mention it I’m just hoping I can help in any way.  I’ve had trouble in the past with believing I’m worthless or a terrible person for not doing whatever I’m told to do but I just remind myself that the most important thing is to make sure I’m in a good mental place and at the end of the day all they can do is throw words at me that I can just ignore and remind myself that they are wrong.   Good luck.  Feel free to pm me if you ever need someone to talk to.,0.9223,positive,hopeful
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,listener_2,6,"Hey, BackPowah, just a quick heads-up:   **belive** is actually spelled **believe**. You can remember it by **i before e**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
215,MentalHealthSupport,Advice in an abusive relationship with a parent,speaker,7,Who invited you over to the party?,0.4019,positive,questioning
216,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,speaker,1,"Got caught by cops to go remain on observation bc of suicidam thoughts. Thanks mon and sister. I told the cop I didn't want them inside but he crossed the door. Then, I didn't dare pushing them outside bc of pigs could blame me for violence. Next week i'll see the prosecutor  and my attorney.   Do you have advice? I just want to get the hell out of here. I live in Brussels, Beligium",-0.9419,negative,afraid
216,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_1,2,I guess first question before I got mad at my mom and sister is were you  suicidal. Also did they talk to you? Remember how scared they are of a world without you in it. Maybe  they can Ihelp you get out if you can contract not to hurt yourself I  wish I could help more but I am in US do not know Belgium law .sorry,-0.3944,negative,questioning
216,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,speaker,3,"I'm sorry that I didn't answer you sooner. Tbf, I avoided them for months and didn't allow them to even talk to me. Since they didn't know what else to do, they sent cops to my appartment and it's been a week now that i'm at the hospital with actual psychotics. I had a meeting with the judge yesterday and I should come back home next week. Thanks a lot for your comment, you are right about à lot of things. However, i'm not sure I'll be able to forgive them. This place is a real shithole compared to other psychatric hospitals I stayed at 15 years ago. I'm giving another shot to life as I promised to the judge. In 1 or 2 years, I'll be allowed to ask for euthanasia again so in the meantime, I will try",0.5532,positive,sympathizing
217,MentalHealthSupport,Advice about nightmares and not feeling like yourself,speaker,1,I've had nightmares for years usually at least once a week but lately I've been getting them every other night. They range in things from drowning to car crashes. If I dont have a night mare it takes me hours to fall asleep.   The other thing is that I stopped feeling like my reflection is me. I understand that it's my reflection and that it's 'me' but I dont feel a connection to it. I dont know how to change this feeling.   If anyone has advice that would be great.,0.8817,positive,afraid
217,MentalHealthSupport,Advice about nightmares and not feeling like yourself,listener_1,2,"I have no advise. All I can say is that I understand. That happens to me as well.  Cover the mirrors whit blankets and try to set a timer so you go to sleep at the same hour every single day.  It won’t stop, but you have to find a way to move on. If someone here knows why this happens please let me know.",0.3182,positive,agreeing
217,MentalHealthSupport,Advice about nightmares and not feeling like yourself,speaker,3,I am in the process of getting into therapy (should be a couple of weeks) thank you for your advice,0.3612,positive,grateful
218,MentalHealthSupport,I need to not be alone right now,speaker,1,I don’t trust myself. if i stay alone when i feel like this i won’t live till tomorrow. i’m afraid of how my death will effect those i love and i’m recalling trying not to give in right now but i don’t know what to do,0.3716,positive,afraid
218,MentalHealthSupport,I need to not be alone right now,listener_1,2,Let's talk. What's your name? What country are you in?,0.0,neutral,questioning
218,MentalHealthSupport,I need to not be alone right now,speaker,3,"England, and my name is L",0.5766,positive,proud
218,MentalHealthSupport,I need to not be alone right now,speaker,4,"I need to stay alive for my friends. And it’s nice to see you again, eMarchHare",0.8176,positive,grateful
218,MentalHealthSupport,I need to not be alone right now,speaker,5,"i’ve been feeling worse unfortunately, my physical health is not so good and my mental health seemed to follow. - L, England",-0.7923,negative,sad
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,speaker,1,"So this is going to be a long post but please bear with me as I’m in dire need of some advice. So I’ve been smoking weed for about a year straight all day and I also was a caffeine head pretty much the whole time as well.. until one day at work I had a panic attack from an energy drink that freaked me out really bad but I went home and worked out thinking I would just burn off the caffeine, well the next day after that I still would wake up and not feel right, I continued to have anxiety and everytime I smoked weed I would panic which never happens for me so I went to the ER just to make sure everything was fine and my EKG and blood work all came back normal. Well the next week after that I had this strange worry in my stomach everyday all day long and stupidly one day before going to the zoo with my girlfriend and daughter I took one hit of weed and everything felt so wrong, I had weird up and down moods all day long and would have what I assume to be panic attacks the whole time, that night after the zoo before going to sleep I got what I assume is an intrusive thought about harming my daughter which freaked me out to no end and kept me up all night..eventually one day I woke up with paralyzing anxiety and suicidal thoughts which is totally opposite from my personality..my girlfriend chalked it up to caffeine and “weed withdrawal” but my mom insisted we go to the ER where they assessed me and said the thoughts were due to the anxiety and gave me Ativan which didn’t seem to help and  made me feel like I was living in a dream nearly everyday so I stopped the Ativan. The intrusive thoughts about hurting myself and my daughter only got worse and so did my ability to remember things and I lost all interest in my workout and diet routine and eventually I lost all emotion besides the occasional guilt and sadness.. stupidly I googled my ass off and convinced myself I was having either prodromal schizophrenia or psychosis so I decided to see two different psychologist/ psychiatrist who insists that I have a form of OCD and anxiety but I don’t have sweaty palms or racing heart etc. only racing thoughts.. both of my psych’s don’t believe I have any signs of schizophrenia but that didn’t bring me much reassurance. My psychiatrist started me on gabapentin which only made me feel drunk and gave me a headache.. I’m even having a hard time remembering all the info to form this post which scares me because I normally have a very good memory even when I was smoking. My girlfriend thinks I just googled too much stuff and convinced myself I have every mental illness known to man.. whatever this is is even affecting the way I feel with my daughter, family and friends.. I literally have been googling symptoms everyday all day long for the past month and a half so I can see how my girlfriend thinks that but it still doesn’t explain the lack of emotion, the inability to focus for very long and at times I still feel very detached from myself and my daughter which hurts the most as she totally gave my whole life purpose and I love her more than words can explain..I’m so sorry this is the longest post I’ve ever seen on reddit but I’m literally going to lose my girlfriend and I’m in DIRE need of help.. thank you to those who took the time to read this. Again my symptoms are intrusive thoughts, memory issues, limited emotions, lack of interest in just about everything, over eating, mental fog, and at times my thoughts seem a bit disorganized. Hope someone can help thank you again.",-0.9951,negative,trusting
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,listener_1,2,Stop smoking weed......,-0.29600000000000004,negative,proud
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,speaker,3,I guess I forgot to put that in there but I haven’t smoked in almost a month and all this is still happening,0.0,neutral,ashamed
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,speaker,4,Okay I will thank you for the tip,0.5267,positive,grateful
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,listener_2,5,Might help; real doctors answer your Qs.,0.4019,positive,suggesting
219,MentalHealthSupport,PLEASE HELP ME,speaker,6,"Thank you for the kind words, I tend to be very negative towards myself so I appreciate it",0.5974,positive,grateful
220,MentalHealthSupport,Confused. Frustrated. Lost potential. My first post on reddit,speaker,1,"Hi there. This really is my first time on reddit. I feel like I have nobody to go to and nobody to talk to. With many problems in life, even super hard ones on par with breaking up with someone, it seems like there’s always general advice that works for many people. However, it’s hard to take advice when you don’t know what the problem is to begin with.  I’ve been to psychoanalysts, doctors, psychiatrists, taken medication, changed the dosage, talked to my abusive parents, talked to friends, talked to teachers, talked to counsellors, researched the problem in my own, and made dozens of posts similar to this one. Every single time I don’t get an answer. I’m so confused I don’t even know why I’m confused to begin with. Ive been depressed most of my life. I have no motivation to do anything. Even when I’m overflowing with motivation on very rare occasions it gets guzzled down very quickly. The best thing that’s worked for me so far is pretending to myself I don’t have depression. Not listening to anything to do with mental health, and telling myself I don’t have depression. It took constant effort but it helped me for the longest out of anything I tried. I knew it wouldn’t work forever now. And now I’m back. It was a normal day of unproductivity, where I do my daily activities of eating super healthy, doing basic chores, watching YouTube, and biking to boxing class and back. I see one thing that set me off today, and back into despair I go.  I haven’t been able to sleep this night. It’s 5:42am. My suicidal thoughts are back. I don’t even feel like I want to be better to begin with at some points.i don’t really know what I’m asking for other than help. I know I have so much potential to offer to the world good or bad. I have strong philosophical and ethical beliefs and want to make the world a better place more than anything. But I feel like a giant animal in chains. So much strength yet something stronger keeping me down and keeping me weak. I hope that doesn’t sound like narcissism. I’m really over pretending that I don’t know I’m smart. It’s not something to be proud of. What you do with it should be more to do with how you’re proud of yourself. Regardless, I need help. Like desperately. And my faith in myself and in trying to get help is basically on a thread.",0.996,positive,lonely
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",speaker,1,"this might not be the right subreddit for this and if so please let me know: i feel an overwhelming sense of emptiness, not all the time but sometimes, and today is one of those days. i feel so out of touch and disconnected from everyone and myself that i don’t know what to do with. i play along as well as i can that nothing is wrong but there is an inescapable feeling of dread and discontentedness that lingers in the back of my mind. however, things are probably the BEST they have ever been for me. i am overall the happiest and most comfortable i’ve ever been and felt. i’m in a loving relationship, caring friendships, a pretty good school, and a supportive family. i really am the best i have been mentally in years. yet, i still feel and get like this where i feel like everything is awful, nothing is good and i just want to die. i’m always able to get passed this eventually and remember everything good but i just get so frustrated and sad that the smallest things erk me so much that id rather not be here. i don’t know. i don’t self diagnose myself with anything, because i don’t really believe in that, but everything feels so awful and this happens to much and it consumes me at times to much. i just want to get over it- or get over myself. i just don’t fucking know where to start without burdening and whining to the people around me. this has gone on for to long i’m sorry.   TLDR: everything should be fine but i still get super depressed and pessimistic about my whole existence and i don’t know what to do.   thanks for reading if you did, let me know if there’s anything i should or could do.",0.9929,positive,lonely
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",listener_1,2,"Holy cow! It’s like you ripped a page right out of my diary. This is me to a T! My life is so good right now. Probably the best I’ve had it, got my own place, got a super kushy desk job, a caring family, fun hobby; I’m super lucky to be where I am. And I know how lucky I am, I feel blessed to have the life that I do but just like you said, I have this never-ending, looming sense of dread in the back of my head. In every situation, even happy ones, there’s this feeling of “this won’t last. So enjoy it while you can before things return to gray.” And some days are so hard, I’d rather not live in this life. I empathize with you greatly. You’re not alone. Your feelings are valid. I wish I could give you a cure-all but I haven’t figured it out myself. Things that help me are things that distract me. I’m constantly thinking about how nothing I’m doing matters in the grand scheme of things like my job? It won’t make any difference 10 years from now. When I’m gone, nothing will change. But distracting myself with friends, video games, watching tv shows and spending time with family all help distract me and make me happy. My advice is talk to someone (which you’re clearly already trying to do) and stay busy. Ever heard the saying “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”? It’s true. When we get bored, we start reflecting and becoming introspective and our brains convolute everything and most of the time—in my case—it doesn’t make things better. So just stay active, maybe try new things like hobbies and what not. Try to find things that fulfill you regardless of the sense of existential dread. Hope any of this helps! Hang in there. It gets better. I promise.",0.9978,positive,content
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",speaker,3,"Thanks, it’s relieving- almost comforting- to know someone feels exactly the same and it’s not just all in my head. i think i need to just keep busy with more tasks that i actually enjoy and just try to get out my head. i appreciate it, thank you and hopefully we both can get over this eventually",0.951,positive,consoling
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",speaker,4,"thanks, i was having another really awful day but i’m gonna try my best to use this to just get through and be a little less depressive and a little more positive.",0.8745,positive,neutral
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",listener_1,5,I believe we will! Happy to help.,0.7712,positive,hopeful
221,MentalHealthSupport,"i feel really lost. i have no reason for feeling this way but i do, and it only makes me feel worse.",listener_2,6,"I've been there believe me.  Just know you're feeling depressed or feeling anxious but that doesn't define you.  You're not depressed, you're you.  Dont let it control your life.",0.3406,positive,agreeing
222,MentalHealthSupport,"OCD, anxiety, and PTSD incident HELP",speaker,1,"This is kind of an odd request, but please no judgement. I suffer from OCD, anxiety disorder, depression, and PTSD from abuse (verbal, sexual, emotional). I was recently viewing porn which I'm trying to quit doing, but because I'm OCD I have a lot of uncomfortable, and uncontrollable thoughts..including worrying about being a pedophile, (also thoughts of murdering loved ones) which I'm not, but it's a fear and compulsion. Probably also because I was molested by a friend at 9. I clicked on a video that went onto a site that I hadn't been on before, and immediately stuff starts popping up that looks to be little girls. I was so freaked out, and disturbed that I clicked off before being sure. The site waso porn7.com I pushed it out of my mind, and went on about my time, and day for a bit, then decided I needed to report it if I was right about what I saw. I called the Hotline for reporting child abuse, and porn, and told them I wasn't positive, but to check it out. Basically I'm trying to put it out of my mind, but I don't know how. It would be a relief to know those girls just looked young, and I was wrong, but I'm definitely not going back on there to check. Does anyone know about that site? Can someone help give me peace of mind?",-0.9909,negative,terrified
222,MentalHealthSupport,"OCD, anxiety, and PTSD incident HELP",listener_1,2,"Hello! I'm not familiar with the website but I do have OCD. I hope this can help ease your mind:  From what I can tell, your caution with being a pedophile proves you aren't one. You weren't actively seeking child porn. You were scared you found some, and reported it immediately. This means you do not want to be a pedophile.  As someone with OCD, I understand the obsessive, intrusive thoughts that come out of nowhere. They do not reflect who you are. Your response to those thoughts is what you really are. (I hope that makes sense)   The best course of action is to see a therapist to talk about this stuff. Cognitive Behavior Therapy is a popular and helpful solution. OCD is a tough illness that requires a lot of work to overcome. It isn't easy, but you are on the right path.  Hope this helps, and good luck!",0.9872,positive,trusting
222,MentalHealthSupport,"OCD, anxiety, and PTSD incident HELP",speaker,3,"  Thank you so much for your response. I keep to myself, so I don't talk about my OCD thoughts often, except with a family member who doesn't have it. Looking back after I realized I was struggling with it years ago, I was showing signs from a pretty young age.    I would be open to group therapy, but I don't have a great experience with one on one..plus I can't afford it. I really appreciate you reassuring me though. Honestly that eases my mind a bit.    Struggling with manic depression, and anxiety already wears me down so much, and with all of that combined, it's like they fuel each other. It's just easier to stay home, and lay in bed than to actually live my life, which makes me more depressed in the long run for wasting my life away. Any thoughts on fighting the feelings of not wanting to do anything? It's like I have no desire to do much of anything.",-0.5835,negative,grateful
222,MentalHealthSupport,"OCD, anxiety, and PTSD incident HELP",listener_1,4,"Funny enough, I also struggle with depression, manic episodes, etc. I've got a lot going on, but that's okay! Our brains just work a little differently than most! Also, I think group therapy for you is a great idea!  As for not wanting to do anything, I'd start small. Take things in small chunks and give yourself little rewards for doing things! When I was in high school, I had to move to an alternative school to deal with my inability to go to class. They set up a system where if I went to school all week, they would let me have a half day on Friday. Most workplaces and schools don't work like that unfortunately. But if you go all week, maybe get some ice cream or something.   I find that if I struggle to get out of bed, if I do small chores like showering, cleaning off my nightstand, etc., it can make me feel better about my progress, and sometimes motivate me to go to work anyways. Make compromises with yourself, like ""If I don't go to work/school today, I have to clean my room at least."" The more little things you do like that, the easier it becomes. It takes a lot of work, but you're already trying to improve, and that's what matters. Keep that same attitude, and you'll be up and running in no time! I believe in you!",0.9845,positive,disappointed
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,1,I am 15 yr old male(overweight) and live alone with my mom she yells alot and is vey hateful and blows up over very small things or anything that annoys her or doesn't agree with her. I usually stay in my room while she yells and curses me for hours daily. Today i cried so for the first time i hit myself to stop crying and other reasons i need advice i have no freinds or close family and have anxiety.,-0.9578,negative,lonely
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,2,I failed to make this clear but i hit myself hard repeatedly in the chest and shoulders,-0.1901,negative,ashamed
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,3,If your around still look at some of the suggestions people gave me i think im gonna try to barrel through it but one might work for you also if you think you want to hurt yourself do the chest like me it hurts all the same but is way less dangerous,-0.8677,negative,suggesting
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_1,4,I just know talking about it to someone help and also I've never talked about this to anyone and I like like since we have the same problem I can talk to you without being afraid.,0.6124,positive,trusting
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,5,Im embarrased so far i've kept my school and home life completley seperate my mom hasn't been to a parent teacher confrence since i was 10 and even if i did go im at one of the worst school districts in ca,-0.6249,negative,ashamed
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_2,6,I hear you and see why it might be a scary step to take. But take it. Future you will thank you,0.2846,positive,agreeing
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,7,Maybe but what exactly can a counseler do for me i have anxiety and don't like to talk about this stuff not to mention im one of those people who act all carefree in public/school i think the counseler would make me stress more,-0.5947,negative,apprehensive
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_2,8,"There are lots of options for anxiety. I have anxiety and work a full time job and have lots of good friendships and relationships in my life, and am about to start taking medication to stay good. Just go tell them what you posted here. They will be able to help you through the next steps. Don’t be nervous about how you “act” around people at school, you can be carefree at school and anxious at home, and both of those people are still you! You’ll get through it",0.8221,positive,trusting
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,9,Tbh im afraid my mom would lose custody if they looked into it and while my mom is very harmful to me mentally im afraid of what would happen in other place atleast with my mom its not physical and i know what to expect because of how small the poor our town is. Its called blythe you can look it up i think it has like the 20th worst hospital or something,-0.8126,negative,afraid
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_2,10,It’s okay. You’ll be okay.,0.4215,positive,consoling
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,11,Thanks i thinks so to but it will be rough i plan on moving out asap and getting a job and hopefully when old enough i want to get a cdl in the meantime i may start exercising as someone else has mentioned i should,0.7140000000000001,positive,encouraging
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_2,12,Such a great plan!! First step is talking to your school counselor. Good luck!,0.8974,positive,wishing
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,speaker,13,Is your mom the only parent and are you the only child?,0.0,neutral,questioning
223,MentalHealthSupport,Help?,listener_1,14,"no to both of those, I have my stepdad but he's always working or avoiding my mom and my older siblings are moving out while my younger sister is glued to a screen when she's home",-0.5719,negative,neutral
224,MentalHealthSupport,LIVING TWO LIVES. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.,speaker,1,"Hi everyone, my name is hammy I’m 23 years old I’m gay and this is my first time reaching out for help as my life is very very complicated and I need help.  I’m living two life’s and I can’t take it anymore. I live in the uk with my beautiful fiancé for 4 years now and my other life is back home where my parents/family don’t know I am gay don’t know I am living with my fiancé they just think I am working (which I am). They are very strict religious. I’ve been thinking of coming out to them but it’s hard, I am struggling as I know they might disown me or something might happen to me..and I am scared to be fair.   They are controlling my life of what I do, where I go and I just can’t do that. They do come to the uk once in a while but what’s annoying is that I have to switch my life around for them and hide who I am it’s making me depressed angry my mood swings change all the time cuz I am constantly thinking about it.   All my friends they don’t understand my situation as they just say “how do you do it?”  so yeah, I would love some help and advice please.   Thank you. Hammy x",0.8537,positive,faithful
224,MentalHealthSupport,LIVING TWO LIVES. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.,listener_1,2,"I hope for the best. I know it’s hard. I had to hide the fact that I’m transgender for a long time. Just know that whatever happens there are people who WILL support you. I’m rooting for you OP! Sorry I don’t have a lot of advice to give. Just remember that there is support, even if you can’t get it from your family <3",0.8858,positive,consoling
224,MentalHealthSupport,LIVING TWO LIVES. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.,speaker,3,Thank you for your support means a lot <3,0.6369,positive,acknowledging
225,MentalHealthSupport,recovery is lonely ..,speaker,1,"I’m climbing out of a long, hard depression that’s been in the making for a couple years now. Because of this, I’ve lost friends along the way because i’ve been distant or changed (i think mostly for the better) but whenever my bf and i talk about friends, i feel like i’m throwing a pity party for myself because i don’t have really anyone to even talk to, other than him. idk it makes me feel kind of stupid.",0.3205,positive,lonely
225,MentalHealthSupport,recovery is lonely ..,listener_1,2,"One person in a relationship (like a friendship) changing and growing forces others to change how they relate to them. If the other person feels like they can't adapt to to the change,however healthy,they may feel like the only option is to is to pull away. There is nothing you can do about it. You still have to keep working on yourself and you will get new healthier friends who can relate to you at that level and hopefully they'll be able to grow with you!🐣🐣",0.945,positive,consoling
225,MentalHealthSupport,recovery is lonely ..,speaker,3,"working on me day by day, thank you 💜",0.7717,positive,grateful
226,MentalHealthSupport,I dont feel like a person anymore,speaker,1,"Im in such despair. I am soon going to be let go of my career, through no fault of my own. Im looked everywhere used every contact and nothing so far . Im not eating Im not sleeping, and im amazed at how many hours I cry everyday. I;m scared sad and my me, dose'nt feel like myself. I've been told so many times that i'm not measuring up professionally and personally that it has eroded my mind totally, ..I don't feel like a human being but like a empty shell.  I also found out recently that I won't be able to have kids, not that I am married but still.   God it wont stop, I wish I had some peace",0.6148,positive,devastated
226,MentalHealthSupport,I dont feel like a person anymore,listener_1,2,"I can't imagine what you must be going through. It sounds like you're losing your sense of identity.     In life it is so unfortunate that so much of our worth is tied into things like career and being able to birth children. I feel I'm not qualified to speak on grief surrounding the latter, but regarding your career, as someone who has been in a similar place as you, I implore you to seek within yourself what a rewarding job to you would look like, what kind of qualities it would have, never mind if you think it's possible for you to get there or not. It's possible that you're not measuring up professionally because what you are doing just doesn't suit you or doesn't speak deeply to you.     Regarding your personal life. You have to find what makes you who you are in order to find your identity. What are your interests, what are your passions, what kind of friend are you? What are things you deeply believe in? These are all hard questions, and the path can be long, but these are the places you have to start.     In the meantime, please seek comfort and support in friends and family members. Go to places where you can find joy or in the very least, refuge from all the internal noise. I sincerely hope this eases up on you, and that peace and happiness reach you quickly and powerfully.",0.9957,positive,caring
226,MentalHealthSupport,I dont feel like a person anymore,speaker,3,"thanks this helps. My career situation is actually because my company has been acquired, I actually really like my job and have got good feedback, that's what makes it unfair to me  It just seems like how much ever i fight fight it is not going to end",0.659,positive,acknowledging
227,MentalHealthSupport,not sure what the nature of my disease is and looking for guidance,speaker,1,"Hi reddit, this is my first post here.   I've been struggling with mental illness since my senior year of high school, and I'm now a college senior. When I was younger, I felt depressed consistently, but after my freshman year of college that all completely changed. Now, I find myself moving between happiness, sadness, and severe anxiety very quickly, oftentimes within the same day. These feelings are very difficult for me to interpret, to the point where I can't easily talk about or even wrap my head around what my problem is, and I'm looking for some guidance.   My moods typically shift very rapidly, I can experience great happiness and positivity for the future as well as deep depression where I cannot focus or do anything productive within the same day. I also have severe anxiety almost daily that results in frequent panic attacks. My panic attacks seem to have no trigger and occur at any point in time, as does my anxiety. They usually last for at least an hour, and can be so severe that I experience paranoia. I can be very irritable and angry one day, and then be the kindest and most understanding person the next day. Basically, my mind feels like a confusing soup of erratic emotions all the time that I can never make sense of.   This has prevented me from getting help for months because when I have a couple good days in a row, I think i'm improving, and that I don't need therapy because it might last. Inevitably, it doesn't last and I'm back at rock bottom in a matter of days, and the cycle repeats itself. I've been experiencing this, and I've now realized that I definitely do want to seek help to ease the burden, but I'm hoping some advice from reddit will allow me to understand my problem a bit better and help me communicate it to a professional. Thank you so much in advance for any and all advice.",-0.9271,negative,anxious
227,MentalHealthSupport,not sure what the nature of my disease is and looking for guidance,listener_1,2,I think you described it very well and a therapist/doctor would be able to go off that and ask additional questions. It's good you're starting to recognize your patterns and that you should seek help.,0.7902,positive,acknowledging
227,MentalHealthSupport,not sure what the nature of my disease is and looking for guidance,speaker,3,"I always thought I might be bipolar due to the constant mood swings, and rare appearances of what feels like hypomania to me, but after reading about borderline that seems to describe my symptoms better. I will definitely see a psychiatrist before jumping to any conclusions, but is it common for people with borderline to have manic experiences?",0.8462,positive,apprehensive
227,MentalHealthSupport,not sure what the nature of my disease is and looking for guidance,listener_2,4,Borderline has many different ill-defined subtypes which show a stronger manifestation of particular defining symptoms over others. However mania is certainly common among almost all of them. I personally also suffer from a borderline comorbidity with depression. I’ve also gone through phases of extreme mania as a result of drastic life events. I would cycle through feeling almost so good that it feels euphoric to being massively depressed and suicidal to being intensely angry over a period of hours to days.,-0.7893,negative,terrified
227,MentalHealthSupport,not sure what the nature of my disease is and looking for guidance,speaker,5,"Thank you for the response! I definitely plan on seeing a psychiatrist/therapist before thinking I have a certain disorder. The purpose of this post was simply to get some ideas to run by a professional as to what might be going on with me, as I tend to invalidate my own feelings a lot and have been in denial about mental illness for a long time",0.2942,positive,agreeing
228,MentalHealthSupport,I miss the mental hospital,speaker,1,"Does anybody else ever miss being in a mental hospital? I loved the feeling of being cared for in the hospital. Sure, the nurses were shit, but I still appreciated them. The other patients were way less mentally stable than I was, but I still cared about them. My roommate was annoying, but I still loved her. Nowadays, I long to be back in that hospital. Am I crazy? No, really, have I actually gone fucking CRAZY? I know that going back to the hospital isn't very convenient right now. Next week is finals week, the week after that is when I graduate middle school. Gosh, I can't wait to leave this fuckass hellhole of a school. It was one of the reasons why I went to the mental hospital in the first place. During the summer, I'll be doing a ton of Summer camps based on science and/or nature. I'm so excited for it, but I also really want to go back to the hospital during that time. I think it would be good for me. These days, my PTSD is really getting to me. I think it would be good for me to have some time away from such familiar surroundings to clear my head and focus on reducing my flashbacks. I also want to be able to offer help and advice to the other patients in the hospital. I feel like I can reach these goals if I could just go back. Damn, I miss that place. But why? How will I ever be able to go back? And how do I tell my therapist? My parents?",0.9827,positive,nostalgic
228,MentalHealthSupport,I miss the mental hospital,listener_1,2,"I think maybe you are missing the structure and support being in the hospital brought you.Perhaps because right now things are more stressful and feel chaotic, you remember the 'good times' from being there. I don't think it makes you crazy to miss it, I just think it's sad, because it truly shows how unhappy you must be with your life.It might be tough now, and with being a junior in high school soon, things are gonna stay messy, just don't give up on yourself.Use some of those techniques you 've learned in the hospital to feel calmer.Meditate, work out, do a hobby or talk to friends.All of those things are much healthier than trying to go back to the hospital",-0.908,negative,suggesting
228,MentalHealthSupport,I miss the mental hospital,speaker,3,Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️,0.3612,positive,wishing
228,MentalHealthSupport,I miss the mental hospital,speaker,4,"Thank you so much, you're so right 🙃🥰",0.8689,positive,agreeing
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,1,"I’m still having what I refer to as a “breakdown” I feel unable to do anything as my emotions take control of me. This,below, is the message I sent to me best friend a few minutes ago, feeling alone. Perhaps I could opinions and advice?  I know you won’t see this until tomorrow, and maybe that’s why this is my plan I’m going through with. I’m in unimaginable amounts of pain. My breakdowns have gotten _so bad_, and now tomorrow I won’t have the guts to admit to you how terrible I’m doing. My body is aching and the world is spinning, my head is screaming and I want to _go_, I want to die. And my other option is I wanted to cut myself. Cutting myself doesn’t make me feel better. Ripping out my own hair and punching my head until I can’t see straight does; the pain and knowing nobody will be able to see at a later stage what I’ve done. But maybe if I cut myself people will care. I won’t have to awkwardly tell them. It’s so hard for me. I feel so so _so_ bad about this. It’s the hardest thing for me to tell anyone. It’s taking forever for me to even type this out. In intervals of gasping for breath, crying, and mumbling “please please please” over and over again to anyone or anything who can hear me, _please please please make it stop_. And everytime I hear footsteps my chest tightens even more, especially if it’s mom’s, and I fill with fear, I’m petrified knowing what trouble I’ll be in if they see me now. Alone. In the dark. Clutching onto my duvet as I beg for the pain to go away. For everything to stop. To have control over my own mind. I’m not okay. I try seem fine at school. I’m not. I’m far from it. I just wish I had the guts to tell you this in person. I wish I had the guts to end it.   I don’t want attention. I don’t want every one to know. I don’t want anyone but you to know, really. I just need love. I just need help. And I wish it was easier to get help, but I’m scared of the burden will be and I am scared of people dismissing me as “looking for attention”. I had to talk to myself, or have Morticia talk to me more like; “you feel that pain right?” “Yes.” “You’re crying and wincing and _reacting_ to this very real pain, right?” “Right” “So you _know_, you feel it. You know it’s real right?” “Right”  Oh my god I’m shivering and shaking at every whisper and creak and footstep and I don’t know what to do oh my god I don’t know I can’t do anything I’m a victim of my own mind at this point and I’m just so lost scared and sore and oh my god I just... I have to go. But at least you know. Because I know tomorrow I’m going to feel too bad to tell you any of this. To tell anyone.",-0.9914,negative,lonely
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,listener_1,2,"Ok hon, hang in there with me you can get trough this! Alright take a deep breath first. Now this may sound strange but I want you to go get an ice pack. If you dont''t have an ice pack use frozen peas or such.put it against your face, keep it there It works . Old dbt trick! Now breath in your mouth to the count of 5 then out to through your nose to the count of 5.     I am on line right now if you are to tell me and we wil go from here.Talk to me?❤❤❤",0.9718,positive,prepared
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,3,Thank you so much! Your advice really helped and I’m super grateful for your reply. You’re really lovely. Thank you so so so much❤️,0.9482,positive,grateful
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,4,Thank you so much too! I’m feeling better simply knowing I’m not alone.,0.7865,positive,agreeing
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,5,"Fiesta off I’m very sorry it’s taken me literal hours to respond, I’m very busy with school and, to be completely honest, I’m very nervous replying. I expected close to nothing in response to this- a lovely offer of help was far off from what I expected, what I wanted and so dearly needed, but not expected. I’m so nerve wracked about this, the stuff I’m going through and being open and honest and getting help. In all honestly, I’m very confused. With a plethora of painful symptoms that have plagued me for a very long time, I don’t know how to handle them or what to do. I’m so appreciative of your offer to help. One of my worser symptoms is terrifying loneliness and being convinced I have nobody- but even if you are worlds away, an internet apart, I already feel this warm comforting feeling I’ve forgotten I could even feel. So thank you already for that. And I’m trying my hardest to figure what to do.",0.9734,positive,apprehensive
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,6,"You’re very right, with the friends thing especially. I’m so very glad to have gotten a reply from you! And I’d love to hear more from you. Replies from you help in a really nice comforting way. I’ve never heard of dbt, but maybe you couldn’t tell me? Thank you so much for all your replies❤️❤️",0.9241,positive,grateful
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,7,"Maybe it would be, I’ll look into it. Thank you very much for the suggestion! And once again apologies for my large gap between replies❤️",0.4199,positive,sympathizing
229,MentalHealthSupport,I’m doing very mentally bad and don’t know what to do :/,speaker,8,I’m from South Africa 🌷,0.0,neutral,proud
230,MentalHealthSupport,OCD,speaker,1,I hate that name but it is what it is. Anyway I have a lot of problems that I don’t feel comfortable sharing except for one. My nose had been deviated for at least 5 years and it’s really uncomfortable and I can’t enjoy stuff or relax and it stops me sleeping long with mild insomnia. I just wanted to share feels better,0.9233,positive,anxious
230,MentalHealthSupport,OCD,listener_1,2,Get tested at a sleep clinic for sleep apnea to rule it out as a factor.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
230,MentalHealthSupport,OCD,speaker,3,K will do thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
231,MentalHealthSupport,I can't get out of bed..,speaker,1,"Ever since my daughter was still born, I've been struggling with my emotions...  It's been over a month now. This last week has been weighing me down. I don't know why. I really can't get out of bed. I can't face the world. I don't find pleasure in anything. I just want to get away from the hurt...but I'm so numb. I know if I feel my sadness I'll start healing, but I just can't. I literally have to force myself to cry when I feel overwhelmed by my grief. Crying doesn't even release my pain anymore though. Before I would cry and everything would release itself. I'd feel better...  Now whenever I cry, I only cry by forcing myself... and it doesn't make me feel any better.   I feel like I'm burdening my family. I feel useless. I feel like there's something I need to do, but I just can't. I physically can't. I'm broken from growing up and being told that my emotions weren't valid. I've learned to mask my pain, because my pain doesn't matter. I can't seem to convince myself that I deserve to be able to just lie in bed all day and grieve the way I want. I can't just convince myself that this is truly a tragedy, I keep telling myself that it wasn't that bad...I keep gaslighting myself.   I just want this to end....but it really will never end... it'll only get easier...I just wish this never happened and I could go on and be healthy again...just stop being so sad...so numb...so unbelieving. I know I'm a burden on my family right now....why am I such a fuck up?",-0.994,negative,sad
232,MentalHealthSupport,Is it possible to have all these disorders ?,speaker,1,"I think I might have Autism, I take things to literally, don't make eye contact, and speak in flat tone a lot of the time, but also ADHD symptoms as well as Bipolar 2 symptoms and also Borderline personality disorder symptoms as well as, but seems less, OCD.  What if I have all these conditions ? Like, if I'm Autistic and have ADHD but also bipolar and bpd.. like am I not just fucked at that point. How can that mess be treated without screwing up another condition. Just doesnt seem worth it on so many levels. I don't even know how long / how much money it would take to get properly diagnosed for all this, FML.",0.8681,positive,terrified
232,MentalHealthSupport,Is it possible to have all these disorders ?,listener_1,2,"I would suggest getting a full psychiatric evaluation. They cost money, but getting one really helped me with understanding my own mental illnesses. It makes you feel valid.",-0.6486,negative,apprehensive
232,MentalHealthSupport,Is it possible to have all these disorders ?,speaker,3,"How much are they on average, I'm in Canada. Also, I imagine a team of psychs would be a lot more. Currently my plan is to just look up psychs with sliding scales, but a diagnosis takes a few meetings I think and at like 90-120 it would kill my monthly budget.",-0.6486,negative,surprised
232,MentalHealthSupport,Is it possible to have all these disorders ?,speaker,4,"Thanks for the response. Yes I've been sexually abused, emotionally and physically, death of parent at 13yo. I also feel my bpd symptoms are reactions to PTSD.  Not sure if I'm bipolar 2 but I seem to recall my grandfather being manic depressive though coming from the war I wonder if he also had untreated PTSD.  Also going to get sleep test for sleep apnea which could be what's affecting my sleep. Lots of possibilities for my life of suffering, lol",-0.9096,negative,hopeful
232,MentalHealthSupport,Is it possible to have all these disorders ?,speaker,5,"Thanks, I'll keep this in mind.",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
233,MentalHealthSupport,My fiancé is mad at me,speaker,1,"My fiancé recently gave me an ultimatum on my mental health; either I start helping myself and trusting myself and others or we go on a break. She says she can't mentally handle how I need help right now and last night I looked up what allergy medicine I can take with buspirone and I ended up looking up the symptoms as well (I'm a hypochondriac, so if I read about the symptoms I'll think I'll have them) and it freaked me out so I didn't take my medicine until 2am and she got mad at me because I didn't trust her or the doctors that prescribed me my medicine...I just want to know how to get over my fear and hypochondria so that we won't have to take a break...I love her too much",0.4401,positive,prepared
233,MentalHealthSupport,My fiancé is mad at me,listener_1,2,"I am really sorry to hear what your going through! It will be okay trust yourself. But you really need to trust your doctors and your fiancé they are trying to help you, so just do as they say and ignore u brain the meds will help! My bf went through the same stuff and I just said trust me it will be okay! And now he’s better and happier. Good luck xx",0.9891,positive,sympathizing
233,MentalHealthSupport,My fiancé is mad at me,speaker,3,"Thank you, I'm really trying to trust them but my brain really wants me to just give in to my anxiety...",0.2457,positive,trusting
233,MentalHealthSupport,My fiancé is mad at me,listener_1,4,Try and get yourself busy like really busy maybe like a hobby so that the brain can’t think about it?,0.6444,positive,suggesting
233,MentalHealthSupport,My fiancé is mad at me,speaker,5,"I can try, my mother-in-law told us to clean and I think I'll try that",0.4019,positive,suggesting
234,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like human garbage,speaker,1,"I don’t really know how to do this, or even where to start really. I’m sort of having a depressive episode that has been building up for months, and I don’t know who to let it out to. If I tell my boyfriend, it seems silly when it comes out of my mouth but it feels so strong and important in my mind. It’s work related, relationship related, trauma, stress, circumstantial, money. It feels like everything is honing in on me at once and I can’t stop it or slow it down. It seems as though I’ve done everything I can think of but it’s not enough. Like no one ever recognised the good things that I do, and are only ever there when it’s all shit. It’s mostly my boyfriend and work. My job wants to get rid of me, they think I’m a lousy worker but I know for a fact that I work my ass off and so do the other girls I work with (and family that come in to visit). It’s taking a huge toll on me physically and mentally. The stress, the mental and emotional abuse from the chefs. I’ve tried looking for other places to work. I sent out 60 applications in 2 weeks. Either by an app, directly callum or emailing, following up. But nothing. I’m either not “qualified” enough, I’m too young, or I need a license. I’m stressing about money, because where I work has been shouldering me out, so I barely make enough to pay my half of the rent. My boyfriend pays for mostly everything and he does so much I feel like he doesn’t understand that I recognise that or feel bad about it. I want to be the bread winner, and the strong one but it’s so hard when I can’t even afford internet the day after I get paid. My sex drive is non-existent which is also taking a toll on my relationship. I have vaginismus (pain during penetration) and the thought of sex makes me nauseous. It’s not that I’m not attracted to my partner, I really am. But I just can’t fathom it, I’m basically terrified of it. Sometimes I give in just to make sure that he won’t leave me. I’m constantly on edge, I sleep a lot but I usually make up with my heart racing. I have stress dreams about work every week. I hate my appearance, despite knowing that I’m not entirely unattractive. I only have one friend who I see maybe once a month, because we’re both anti-social shut ins. Despite everything I feel, I still believe my feelings are meaningless and inadequate. Like they don’t matter because there’s more important things to worry about. I haven’t cried in months. I feel like it’s showing weakness. I just get unbearably angry. Either i’m angry inside or I show it by throwing things, yelling, threatening to kill my cat when it misbehaves (even though I would never). I was taking medication but it didn’t do much. I went off it cold turkey, thinking it was the reason for the low sex drive. I’ve done research, I’ve contacted sex therapists, I’ve switched birth controls, I’ve gotten the implant, I’ve tried to masturbate. But nothing. And my boyfriend says I’ve done nothing. It isn’t even for me, it’s all for him. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve had depression for years, and I thought i’d gotten rid of it until about a year ago. When pain during sex wouldn’t go away (I had just lost my virginity to my boyfriend, so I thought it was because I wasn’t used to it). And that’s another thing, our relationship started out with friendship with “benefits”. Maybe if we’d stayed friends longer and didn’t rush into sex, he wouldn’t be so fixated on it. Maybe it’s all my fault. But I definitely am tired and I’ve started thinking about suicide again. Just seems so simple. But suicide takes courage, and every time I’ve tried I’ve chickened out and looked like a little whiney bitch. Maybe I’m not serious about it and do it for the attention. As a “hoorah! fuck you!” sort of thing. Bipolar runs in my family, as well as a plethora of mental illness. I do feel mania. A heightened sense of motivation and “happiness”. Like I can actually take in the world and function as a proper adult. It’s like a week long daydream, except in my day dream I have my shit together and I’m confident, sexy and witty. But then it’s over and I’m back to being a human pile of garbage again.",-0.997,negative,apprehensive
235,MentalHealthSupport,Go into debt for my mental health or keep struggling,speaker,1,"Having a hard time trying to decide if getting help for my BPD is worth spending the $$$ on therapy/meds etc. I have insurance but it doesn’t cover much for mental health even after my deductible. Is the debt worth trying to chase being sane, or should I keep struggling.",-0.5423,negative,apprehensive
235,MentalHealthSupport,Go into debt for my mental health or keep struggling,listener_1,2,"I would try to seek some care that costs less money. In my city there is a place for people who don’t have a lot of money to get care for free or for a smaller price. Though its based on income. Places like Horizon behavioral health offer services for a smaller amount than other places. The care isn’t amazing it depends on who you get, but it’s much better than nothing. (Also I’m not sure if horizon is a Virginia thing or all across the states but regardless there should be places like this is multiple areas.) Though I don’t have what you have I have MDD and it’s much better to at least attempt to get help then just sit there and suffer because it’ll get much worse.",0.9145,positive,apprehensive
235,MentalHealthSupport,Go into debt for my mental health or keep struggling,listener_2,3,"Hey, AroariaSoy96, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
235,MentalHealthSupport,Go into debt for my mental health or keep struggling,speaker,4,Delete,0.0,neutral,angry
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,speaker,1,"One of my good friends ""Ki"" has started starving herself because of all the reasons, I'm trying my best to help her and all that's happened is she said she might call a hotline. Nothing is working and she knows the risks,   Additional info.  She's 5'7 Weighs 165 lbs  Her ultimate goal weight is 100  She eats as little to nothing as possible (three Raspberry's and an apple is about average.) I'm glad to.answer any questions if it will help her",0.9287,positive,proud
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,listener_1,2,Have you tried an intervention with people who are close to her or maybe try to convince her to join a support group or get some therapy.,0.7096,positive,suggesting
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,speaker,3,She's done this and gone full anorexic before.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,speaker,4,It's not a crash diet I know that,0.3089,positive,agreeing
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,listener_2,5,Best thing you can do is tell her the only circumstance under which you will talk to her about her behavior is if it's in the context of her getting professional help. And stick to that.  Eating disorders are extremely tricky and by letting her talk to you about it you're very likely making it worse.,0.4417,positive,agreeing
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,speaker,6,"I dident know that, what should I say?",0.0,neutral,apprehensive
236,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice with helping my friend who has an eating disorder.,listener_2,7,"Just simply say you're not willing to talk with her about her weight, food, dieting, eating disorders, or any measurements or numbers related size. Tell her she has to get help and you won't engage her on those topics at all.  This is even a rule in ED treatment centers. Clients can't talk to anyone except their therapist about these things.",0.16899999999999998,positive,sad
237,MentalHealthSupport,How do you keep your emotions under control?,speaker,1,"Hi! I'm asking insightful advice on how you handle your emotions. I'm pretty happy on the outside, really jolly, you could perhaps say that I am fun to be with, always laughs. My friends see me as headstrong and resilient whenever I face heavy problems in life. Thing is, whenever an emotional trigger/s is/are present, I tend to overreact at times. I want to conquer this once and for all.   TIA!",0.9716,positive,trusting
237,MentalHealthSupport,How do you keep your emotions under control?,listener_1,2,"It sounds dumb, but what I do when I think I might be overreacting is trying to look at the feelings I m having as if I was watching someone else on t.v.  Like when they hired a new girl shortly after I was hired and I was paranoid about me not getting enough hours.So I thought it through in my head: if I keep being paranoid and get angry enough, what am I going to do next?- Ask my manager why he hired someone else? Already trying to replace me and I barely started working here?...thoughts like that- As you can see this would end badly if you looked at it like you watch someone else.So of course it made me stop and realize that my reaction was totally crazy and unreasonable.  With other emotions it's trickier.If you feel really upset or sad, for example,then it's much harder to control your emotions.It doesn't work 100% of the time but if this happens, try to make it through whatever event/situation/ job as fast as possible and then aim for some alone time and allow yourself to feel those things. I hope this helps.",-0.9269,negative,apprehensive
237,MentalHealthSupport,How do you keep your emotions under control?,speaker,3,Thank you! Will take note of that.,0.4199,positive,wishing
237,MentalHealthSupport,How do you keep your emotions under control?,speaker,4,"I've been researching about it, and it seems helpful. Thank you!",0.68,positive,acknowledging
237,MentalHealthSupport,How do you keep your emotions under control?,speaker,5,What is this ? Can you orient me? Have you tried this? Thank youuu,0.5291,positive,questioning
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,speaker,1,"I had one psychologist appointment awhile ago but my mom didn't schedule another one because it was expensive and wanted to see if we could get insurance to cover most of it. It's been a couple months and I'm still feeling.. shitty to say the least. I haven't had another appointment regarding my mental health but that one time I went I was looking forward to getting answers next timeabout why my head was spinning with all of these depressive thoughts lol of the time. I can't get another appointment with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist because my parents can't afford it, and even with the insurance if they can get it, it's going to be a financial issue. So my issue is that each day I'm feeling like my heads in it's own fog, I perceive reality differently and I am in my own little panic filled Reality I can't escape from because I don't know where I even am in the first place? How am I supposed to get out of where I am if I don't even know WHERE I am.  I know I get anxiety about things a lot, that's fairly obvious and that's kind of been around since I was a kid too (not to the extent and worry it causes me now but still). I over think and ""what if"" on a daily basis. It's so easy for me to put myself in a dark place but there's another voice in my head telling me in just a little bitch (pardon my language) and there's actually nothing wrong with me and I'm just doing this to myself and feeling sorry for myself, which in turn makes me more stressed out for some reason. I don't know if I have depression but I've taken multiple multiple choice indicator tests online and they all suggest that I seek out professional help. The only reason I say i don't know is because a doctor hasn't diagnosed me or anything. I know I've been depressed at some point, if you asked me what I thought, I'd say I think I'm depressed and I believe that I am but I haven't received a diagnosis so I wouldn't know.  I'm wanting help but I dont talk to anyone about anything going on in my head because I have trust issues, and over time I've built little walls around me that keep people out and thoughts in. I guess what I'm asking now is: what do I do? I don't have a car yet, I am 16 but I don't have a car so I can't exactly get a job of my own. It's a struggle for my parents financially and I feel like I just cannot live with the fact that I caused the very stress I wanted to avoid the whole time. But at the same time I feel so trapped and each day I feel worthless. There are some good days, some days one of my friends will do something that makes me happy or I'll be doing well in school. But I've developed these bad habits of not doing my school work, not doing my homework, not going to sleep on time, sleeping during class, not eating, skipping multiple meals, and distancing myself in my relationships. It's affecting my grades and my friendships and most of all I can't take it. I feel like I can't do it anymore, but I can't get help I feel stuck. I honestly don't know what to do.",-0.9127,negative,anxious
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,listener_1,2,"You can get your insurance card, call your insurance and see what your coverage is like and ask for a list of in-network providers in your area.  You can also ask them if they're willing to negotiate a single case agreement with an out of network provider.    You can also call NAMI and ask them for help.",0.8126,positive,questioning
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,speaker,4,"Yeah, I would be very open to that it's just that I would have to get it prescribed to me because I can't diagnose myself I don't know what I would need. Thank you <3",0.5719,positive,acknowledging
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,speaker,5,"Hah, I have gone to the office before and talked to my counselor and she basically told me to find an escape through schoolwork and I just sat there like... bro I literally hate school😂. I get what she's saying, and she's the school counselor so that's what she cares about most, but schoolwork is where a lot of added anxiety and frustration comes from so it's kind of difficult for me to do that, I am trying to stay on top of work as much as I can though. I could go again but.. I don't know it makes me nervous and I've already gone twice before, I don't think it will be any different if I go again. Thank you for your comment.",-0.6586,negative,ashamed
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,speaker,6,"Thank you very much, I don't know if I trust very many of my teachers.. I have teachers I like but I don't know if I'd go to them with advice or a personal issue you know? I will definitely try and find someone to talk about it with thank you. I live in the U.S.",0.8873,positive,trusting
238,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I need professional help but can't get it,listener_2,7,"Hey, eMarchHare\_II, just a quick heads-up:   **untill** is actually spelled **until**. You can remember it by **one l at the end**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.7263,positive,annoyed
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,speaker,1,"Hi everyone, I've noticed that traffic and engagement have increased in the last few months so I thought I'd ask, how did you find this sub?  Also you are all welcome to give other feedback if you like.",0.8625,positive,questioning
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_1,2,Well I’m struggling with depression and anxiety so when I was searching through the groups and seen this one I thought it would help so I joined,-0.5267,negative,caring
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_2,3,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_3,4,same,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_4,5,Same. Struggling with a myriad of mental illnesses so I searched for mental health and mental illness and this came up both times 💚,-0.5423,negative,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_5,6,"This is what I did. Just from the first few posts, I’m happy to be joining a kind community ❤️.",0.7964,positive,caring
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_6,7,"Same here, u/antwerpbanana",0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_7,8,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_8,9,same,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_9,10,Ditto,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_10,11,Same.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_11,12,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_12,13,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_13,14,Ditto,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_14,15,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_15,16,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_16,17,Pretty much same,0.4939,positive,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_17,18,+1,0.0,neutral,surprised
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_18,19,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_19,20,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_20,21,"Same for me, as well.",0.2732,positive,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_21,22,Same here!,0.0,neutral,questioning
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_22,23,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_23,24,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_24,25,Same here,0.0,neutral,impressed
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_25,26,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_26,27,"Don't wait until you feel like you're ""cured"" to reach out and help others. Sometimes it's enough for someone to know that others are struggling with the same thing too to take some of the burden off. I'm sorry you feel lost and alone, but in feeling that way, you certainly are not alone. We're all here with you, and for you.",0.5362,positive,caring
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_26,28,"Asking for help is never a burden. You are not a burden. I know literally 2 things about you, but the fact that you are a human being means you are worthy of people's time and attention. I see the original post is 2 months old, but I hope this finds you in a better place than then. Keep on keeping on.",0.9569,positive,trusting
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_27,29,"Yeah, I knew that there had to be somewhere I could get help, and I trust Reddit to be able to help me get there. There had to be a place for this.",0.872,positive,trusting
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_28,30,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_29,31,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_30,32,Same here,0.0,neutral,impressed
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_31,33,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_32,34,Ditto,0.0,neutral,agreeing
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_33,35,So did I,0.0,neutral,neutral
239,MentalHealthSupport,Quick Question: How Did You Find this Sub?,listener_34,36,Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
240,MentalHealthSupport,I cant believe my therapist!!!,speaker,1,"So i have been waiting months to get into see a therapist ... I suffer from severe depression and bipolar... I am on disability because of mental health issues and because of physical pain in my back abd fibromyalgia.. So today was my first appointment to meet with my therapist and i was really excited bc a lot of stuff has been going on in my life and i have noone really there for me to help me with life decisions, kids, what to do next, just anything. So i get there early and she comes to get me and we go in the room... She sits down and theres this awkwardness already like in the room... She doesn't really talk to me.. But then she makes notes and says did u go intake to get this appointment confused i said no my psychiatrist refered me to you and she makes notes and she tells me well i just want to let you know that its going to take a very long time for you to keep coming in to see my because im booked out.. I thought ok... So she says to me whats up.. What do you wanna talk about so i tell her basically im a single mom i ended up losing my housing and im living w a friend right now with my kid but im really unhappy bc im on disability and i wanna be in my own place and she tells me that first basically im trapped she said... Then she goes on to tell me that maybe i should think about all the people that are on welfare because she told me about 50 percent of the population is on welfare n who is welfare i said the government n she said who pays the government she said me .. Working people .. She said may be you should just go get a job.. I said but im depressed and im on disability ive been on disability for yeats and im just suppose to go get a job... She said yea she said its people like you meaning me that are destroying our government and theres not going to be anything in the pot your going to bankrupt the system....im was like really upset and hurt bc i was coming here for help and guidance and this lady is going off on me and i have barley even told her whats going on with me...i felt like this ladys human punching bag.. So while i was there i told her i tried to go to college bc i always wanted to do something w mental health and psychology but i had learning disabilities and i couldn't pass my class. So i went on to do hair got my license but that wasnt my passion at all it was still helping people and psychology so i told her do u suggest i go back to school and she said No i think thats a waste of your time and its a really long time for mental health counslor. Ok... So this lady just basically beat me into the dirt. She told me basically that her place that she works at only lets people set up 8 to 12 appointments and then their done with their patients because mental health patients tend to draw things out their problems i guess she meant instead of fixing them... So she said yea we dont do that here... And i said what she said just seeing patients ongoing theres just too many people with mental health problems we just cant keep up with them... And im thinking this lady is a counsleor what in the hell. So she said the only thing i can help you with is the number to occipational rehabilitation and see if they have any answers for you because she said it sounds like you are playing the victim. So my question is besides never going back to see that woman again what do i do... Bc if she attacks people like that all the time shes gonna push some one over the edge... When i left i felt like jesus i should just kill myself... I mean she made me feel that horrible!! What do i do report her or what?",-0.9953,negative,anxious
240,MentalHealthSupport,I cant believe my therapist!!!,listener_1,2,"First: Wall of text. Difficult to follow.  Second: If she told you to beat the dirt, she would have said “Beat the dirt.” Without hearing the other side of the story it’s difficult to provide an unbiased opinion.  With that being said, if you are trying to be helped, you need to keep an open mind to help. You’re not going to be handed presents full of gumdrops and rainbows.  It’s going to be difficult and likely not full of things you -want- to hear.  It’s up to you to decide whether you want to heed the advice of a trained professional or to be skeptical of all until you find one who shows you that horses are just unicorns in disguise.",-0.8402,negative,trusting
240,MentalHealthSupport,I cant believe my therapist!!!,speaker,3,Thank u so much im really grateful for u,0.6997,positive,grateful
240,MentalHealthSupport,I cant believe my therapist!!!,listener_2,4,"Never mind this psycho. She certainly shouldn't be in mental health work.   Report her on the HSE complaint website as you are correct, that would push anyone over the edge with that demeanor how dare she! Hope you are OK",0.745,positive,agreeing
241,MentalHealthSupport,How can I find a job when I have severe depression and anxiety distress?,speaker,1,"So I’ve been severely mentally ill for most of my life (I started feeling depressed when I was 5) and finally sought help a few weeks ago from a therapist (I’m 22). I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety distress, but that might change with more testing. I’m almost done with my degree in supply chain management, so I’m about to have to find a real job very soon. I have a job currently where I make $16/hr, but I have to walk there (it’s 4 miles away). Every job that I’ve ever had has taken a HUGE toll on me. I get easily overwhelmed even with the smallest of tasks (i.e. cleaning my room), so I can’t imagine what a real job is gonna do to my anxiety. Also, I have a fear of people and disappointing everyone around me. Please help me and give me advice on what jobs (that aren’t very stressful) I can possibly take on with my degree. Thank you in advance.",-0.7976,negative,apprehensive
241,MentalHealthSupport,How can I find a job when I have severe depression and anxiety distress?,listener_1,2,"This isn't what you want to hear, and I'm sure you've probably heard this already,  but no job is stress free. There are different types of stressors and with anxiety (at least mine) you never know what can bring on the stress.   I think you need to get help first if you're trying to make a life decision based on your mental health. Invest in yourself by going to therapy. Any job that makes you feel like you're doing what you're meant to do will be difficult and will push you to your limits at times. You need to be mentally prepared for failures and problematic situations.   I wish I had been given a bit more time after school to make sure I was a little more mentally healthy before going into my first position. I'm still struggling to get myself on track and handle less than ideal situations, but therapy will help.  Good luck with your mental health journey.",0.8622,positive,apprehensive
241,MentalHealthSupport,How can I find a job when I have severe depression and anxiety distress?,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for the insight!!! I have my next appointment on the 17th of June, so I’m hoping that I can learn some coping methods. Maybe my therapist can also guide me on job hunts? Because everything is so stressful lol. I just have a feeling that I will always have difficulties when it comes to work environments and people. The job I have right now is really making me sad, and the people here are all much older than me, so I can’t really relate to them on anything.",-0.3662,negative,trusting
241,MentalHealthSupport,How can I find a job when I have severe depression and anxiety distress?,listener_1,4,"I am in the exact same boat as you, actually. I work at a job that makes me sad, and I can't relate to anyone because they're all so much older than me. It's really difficult to be sad, anxious and feeling like there's no one to talk to.   I have yet to find a therapist since I moved a year ago, but I know how helpful it can be... You actually sparked something in me to finally find one again! Thank you for that  I'm really happy to hear that you're talking to someone. I hope you find helpful coping methods, and I'm sure your therapist will have some great resources for you as far as the job hunt goes.  I wish the best and hope you feel better!",0.9928,positive,agreeing
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),speaker,1,"Hello. I'm posting from my mobile app. Apologies if this is long. Tl;dr at bottom.  I've been under a lot of stress the past year but especially the past month.  My dad passed away earlier this month, he was found on his 58th birthday by my brother. I asked him and my mom(they are separated but friends) to go check on him because I was worried I hadnt heard from him and was having a bad feeling. I couldn't myself as I was working. My bad feeling came true and I recieved the news that my father, my best friend and my hero, had died.   I planned his funeral. I notified family of his death. I wrote his obituary. I attended his funeral. I did my best to stay strong. I generally am a strong person. Although I have had a long history of depression and anxiety, I manage somehow.    It doesn't help that I went right back to work the day after his funeral, they needed me as they were falling behind. (I work for a company that sells trailers and May is the busiest month). I am so overwhelmed and stressed and incredibly sad. I've had wonderful support from my family, friends and boyfriend, yet I feel still like giving up and breaking down.   I'm wondering of any self care things I can do to relieve my mental stress and anxiety. And yes, I'm considering professional help as well.   Tl;dr: I'm having a really hard time coping with the loss of my father and I feel like giving up. Seeking advice on what one would do to maintain mental health(aside from therapy)   Thanks for reading, I know I'm not the best at writing sorry!  -A.",0.9718,positive,anxious
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),listener_1,2,"Meditation is UNBELIEVABLE. There's an app that's gotten kind of popular called ""headspace"" that literally walks you through every step. I (F23) did it for 3 minutes, 3 days in a row when I was at a very low point and it did wonders. Also, lifting heavy weights :)",0.6855,positive,confident
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),speaker,3,"Thank you! I've never tried meditation before, so I'm going to give that a shot. Much appreciated!",0.7494,positive,grateful
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),listener_1,4,You're welcome! I went to therapy for about 3 months and to be honest it helped a lot. But the meditation is 100% worth the shot :),0.8687,positive,neutral
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),speaker,5,"I definitely want to go to therapy, it just takes a while to get an appointment and find one who is covered. It has helped in the past for sure!",0.68,positive,agreeing
242,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice on my mental health please. (F/25),listener_2,6,"Hey, eMarchHare\_II, just a quick heads-up:   **definately** is actually spelled **definitely**. You can remember it by **-ite- not –ate-**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.6996,positive,acknowledging
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,speaker,1,"I’m a maladaptive person. I’ve been abused in nearly every way possible by family friends, classmates, and teachers my whole life. I moved every other year and have four mental disorders. I’ve never had a real friend or a real relationship with anyone. No one had ever been interested in me at all. I’m 18. Never been kissed. Never done anything with anyone. Grew up poor and never got to go on vacations. Trapped in my house 24/7 because I can’t drive. I’ve tried to commit suicide over 30 times, wrote close to 20 suicide notes, and was hospitalized for 5 hours back in January. People call me selfish for not wanting to suffer. They manipulate me and are the reasons I want to end it all. Because they never give me the time of day and only use me to help them get what they want. My own family does this to me. I have no one. What do I do? Am I broken? Is there anybody that can help?",-0.9197,negative,lonely
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,listener_1,2,"Seems like maybe you need to cut some ties with some people, they are just not doing you much good,right now.  You might want to start for now with some of those family members! It sounds like there might be some other house cleaning necessary. It is not easy saying goodbye even to people who are abusing you. Get therapy, get some good bounderies and they might be able to be a part of your life again,wait for therapists ok, on that. Start working on making   a life seperate from them!❤no,you are not any thing even close to a monster,just pretty beat up, hang in ,you'll make it!",0.6975,positive,suggesting
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,speaker,3,Thank you! I already go through therapy. I’m gonna have to switch when I move in August to Nashville.,0.4199,positive,grateful
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,speaker,4,"I attend therapy. It’s difficult because I always get talked over during my own sessions. About the family thing, carrying guilt over not being able to have healthy, functional relationships is the norm for me because so many people made me feel like I owe them everything and that I’m a worthless, stupid, ugly piece of garbage who’s just lucky to have anyone look near their direction. I don’t know anything other than that",-0.7351,negative,ashamed
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,listener_2,5,"Ask if you can be transferred over to another professional or visit a different clinic, please don't put up with someone who's acting irresponsibly. And it may be worth looking into CBT which will help you distinguish between your thoughts and the reality of it. Even though some people's lives  look like absolute perfection, everyone struggles in some sort of way so you're not alone (although pain can't be compared because it is different for everyone). And try to attend clubs within your area or support groups to meet people you can talk to easier or even online and take it step by step.",0.9572,positive,agreeing
243,MentalHealthSupport,Am I a monster?,speaker,6,Thank you for your advice. I’m about to start new treatment in a new state when I move in August.,0.3612,positive,grateful
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,speaker,1,"Buckle your seatbelts.   My really good friend (F24) has a younger sibling (18) who was a pretty average kid until about a year ago when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has NO family history of it and the doctors pretty much just diagnosed and released him.. so for the past few months he's been really all over the place. He's done a lot of pshychadellic drugs, mostly LSD. He didn't do it every day, or even every week but he definitely over-used. He stopped completely about 2 weeks ago. About a week and a half ago he lost his shit. And I mean LOST it. He couldnt sleep, kept disappearing from home, and started talking complete nonsense all the time. He's afraid that he's somehow an evil person reincarnated and that he could destroy the world and all this shit. Now he's committed and been in the hospital for 3 days. He has not gotten better at all. 3 weeks ago he was a pretty normal kid.   I apologize because this is pretty open-ended.. but does anyone have advice? Could this be something other than schizophrenia? Does anyone think itll go away?",-0.9694,negative,terrified
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,listener_1,2,"To me it sounds like a case of severe withdrawl but i'm certainly not an expert on this. Also, was he given any antipsychotics when diagnosed, it seems odd that the doctors would just let a person diagnosed with schizophrenia to just walk away.",0.0258,neutral,neutral
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,listener_2,3,"LSD does not produce withdrawal.  LSD CAN stay in your system for a very long time, particularly if taken in very high doses. For obvious reasons it's also particularly hazardous to take for people with schizophrenia and related disorders.",-0.0191,neutral,afraid
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,speaker,4,I never got that detail. I'm sure he was given some sort of medication but it sounded like they basically just brushed him off. If it were withdrawal.. how long do you think it would last?,0.6187,positive,questioning
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,listener_3,5,"May not produce ""withdrawal"" but it certainly can cause a long-lasting psychotic disorder, well after the drugs are out of their system.",0.2876,positive,neutral
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,speaker,6,"Good to know, thank you. I'm just hoping he's not like.. permanently like this? I had a friend that was kinda crazy and ended up getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it took him 20 days in a hospital to act normally again",0.5224,positive,encouraging
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,listener_2,7,"Well... I really don't know much about schizophrenia by itself. My relevant knowledge here is more about psychedelics drugs. Most psychedelics are not dangerous on their own but they can produce powerful experiences that can trigger latent mental health issues or worsen existing ones.  From what I know about schizophrenia, stress can trigger episodes. So he could have had a bad trip and gone into an episode, but he also could have been through a breakup... Encountered stress at school... Had trouble at home... Or a dozen other things.  Psychedelics drugs do not produce permanent psychosis in healthy people, despite what some common myths say. I don't think they cause permanent psychosis in schizophrenic people either, but again, *I am not any kind of expert.* From what I'm reading now there is actually a large and somewhat conflicting body of research about what type of effect psychedelics have on schizophrenics.  All that aside, I don't think you need to worry about him being this way permanently yet. The best thing to do is to encourage him to listen to his doctors, follow his treatment plan, and keep him away from all 'fun' drugs.",-0.4279,negative,afraid
244,MentalHealthSupport,My friend's sibling has absolutely lost their mind and I could use some advice.,speaker,8,I'm hoping he gets over it soon. It's pretty terrifying. I know nothing about it either especially about schizophrenia. I do know what a bad acid trip is like and he's acting like he's been stuck in one for over a week. Thank you,0.5106,positive,terrified
245,MentalHealthSupport,Help me to understand something I already know,speaker,1,"The thing is I hear my friends and classmates talk about getting wasted and going to clubs. Why I don't go to clubs and get wasted like them is because I have to travel every weekend or holidays and they go out exactly on these days. I never went with them and logically they don't invite me. Now, the thing is I know I wouldn't like doing what they do simply because I don't like loud music or even the type of music they play in the clubs. But even though, I just can't help but feel sad when I hear anything about their stories and something about drinking. It just makes me miserable. I don't mind drinking, I like it but I just feel like a piece of shit for not having stories with friends like that. Maybe if I hear from somebody else what I already know (clubs ain't worth it) then perhaps I will stop being anxious every time I hear the popular kids. My friends are mainly introverted people like I am and what I see is that we tend to be miserable. Should I dump every responsibility I have in order to start getting wasting and feel less miserable?  Convince me that going out to getting wasted and fucking in the dark halls is idiotic. I feel like I am wasting away my youth. Thank you for your time.",-0.964,negative,jealous
245,MentalHealthSupport,Help me to understand something I already know,listener_1,2,FOMO perhaps,0.0,neutral,suggesting
245,MentalHealthSupport,Help me to understand something I already know,speaker,3,Wut that?,0.0,neutral,questioning
245,MentalHealthSupport,Help me to understand something I already know,listener_2,4,"Fear Of Missing Out. It's not that you want to do the specific activity your friends are doing, you just don't want to miss out on the social connection.",-0.3182,negative,apprehensive
246,MentalHealthSupport,Should I worry about having PPD/problems? Please help x,speaker,1,"I have been depressed because I moved house 8 years ago (age 10-13) and lost a lot of friends, my pets died and my parents divorced all in the same period.. but I got over it and I've been amazing since GCSEs.  I'm 18 now, mid A level exams, and a little worried about my mental health for the last 2 years. I still see myself as healthy, I exercise, see people, love to stay active, in a great relationship. However, the past couple of years I have constantly moved in and out of friendhsips. I start getting along with people, make great friends, and then I suddenly just am not feeling close to them, and I think that they might not really like me and they are all much closer to each other than they are with me, and they only spoke to me to pass time, and that's that. I adore my boyfriend but he goes to a different school I ensure to keep my social life separate, so I don't know why, i just drift apart from the friends I make and I can't think why. That said, I have some lovely close friends, I don't speak to them or see them loads but we both know we are best friends kinda thing. They all have mental disorders tho: bulimia, depression mostly, anxiety. Other than them - 4ish people - I keep losing friends, mistrusting what they think of me and thinking they don't like me, and feeling v unconfident and lonely and like it's not my place to talk to them because they probably don't care for me or want to. Also lately, I feel like I've been picking up on the smallest things with my poor very loyal kind boyfriend and picking him apart a bit and he doesn't really see my end of the stick, but we try talk it out anyway and just continue. Perhaps it is all me. I could not be happier to leave school, never felt comfortable with anyone there. Could my problem with friends be PPD? Perhaps I'm just noticing more because of stress, and I have had some more depressive thoughts, probably because I'm at home trying to revise a lot more this month so that will go I'm sure.   Anyone know anything about this? Thank you for taking the time to read!!",0.9953,positive,content
246,MentalHealthSupport,Should I worry about having PPD/problems? Please help x,listener_1,2,"I feel like it may be worth getting counselling or CBT to help differ your anxieties from the reality of the situation. And keep your close friends/boyfriend updated with what you're feeling, they're there to help you even if they may not understand the entirety of it. But they could let you know when you're overthinking about stuff perhaps. And honestly it's natural to lose and gain friends, especially when you're in school. But when you leave school you'll meet new people that you may feel better with. I'm not too sure what PPD is sorry (all I keep getting when I search for it is a skin test😂)",0.9723,positive,suggesting
246,MentalHealthSupport,Should I worry about having PPD/problems? Please help x,speaker,3,"Thank you I appreciate your advice, I'll see if it affects me over summer as I am just about to finish school. Ppd is paranoid personality disorder which is just like mistrust of others' opinions of you.",0.4588,positive,acknowledging
247,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health,speaker,1,I have Asperger’s syndrome recently gotten home schooled I’m 15 years off age have severe anxiety big sensory overloads bad social skills still would call myself smart but I’m starting to think should I end my life or is there hope? ☹️,-0.2023,negative,apprehensive
247,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health,listener_1,2,"dude there’s always hope. i basically dropped out of school bc of  mental health issues. we discussed asd but i was never actually diagnosed, instead going with depression, anxiety, personality disorders type stuff. i went to a ‘special’ school here and there but it didn’t really work out. i’m 18 now and while by no means cured, i’m so much better. my social skills are improved and i have less anxiety. i’ve always had weird sensory overloads / meltdown type episodes, but as i’ve aged they’ve gotten less frequent, less intense and a lot more manageable. there have been so many times where i have wanted to or tried to end it all, but i’m so glad i stuck around and i really hope you do too 💛",0.9172,positive,neutral
247,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health,speaker,3,Aww thank you so much ❤️ do you have any social media’s platforms you could talk?,0.3612,positive,questioning
248,MentalHealthSupport,Help im falling apart,speaker,1, I'm having a panic attack Im freaking out I'm crying I'm a stupid lonely loser who deserves sadness and no-one to care  Whhy should anyone care? I'm attention seeking an stupid and annoying and worthless and pathetic and mean I'm sorry for wasting your time I'm sorry I really am  I hope you're all doing okay Max,-0.9818,negative,sympathizing
248,MentalHealthSupport,Help im falling apart,listener_1,2,"Hey Max,  First off, you don't deserve to be unhappy. Nobody does.I m sorry you are going through so much.I know panic attacks all too well.Its tough, but you can overcome it.",-0.6738,negative,sympathizing
248,MentalHealthSupport,Help im falling apart,speaker,3,"Thank you for the reply. I will try that technique, thank you :)",0.7906,positive,wishing
248,MentalHealthSupport,Help im falling apart,speaker,4,I'm annoying and stupid I don't know how people like being near Me I'm sorry I'm not even trying,-0.5994,negative,ashamed
248,MentalHealthSupport,Help im falling apart,speaker,5,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
249,MentalHealthSupport,Child’s father committed suicide 15 years ago...still hurts to this day,speaker,1,"Hello...im new here. Didn’t know really know where to post this but back in 2004 my then boyfriend committed suicide in front of me when I was 3 months pregnant with our daughter. He shot himself in the head and at times I still have flashbacks and it’s very hard. I was 16 at the time and went through counseling at school after it happened. It honestly fucked my head up. I was confused, sad, mad, and I blamed myself (I still do sometimes). Our daughter turns 15 this year and she is my world. It hurts even worse because she looks EXACTLY like him. I’m the type of person that pretends that I’m ok when I’m really not. My father also attempted suicide when I was 7...he drank drano. He survived that but later died a few years later during a surgery. It probably seems like I should be over these two things happening but I honestly don’t think I ever will be.",-0.9843,negative,devastated
249,MentalHealthSupport,Child’s father committed suicide 15 years ago...still hurts to this day,listener_1,2,I am sorry this happened to you. <3 None of this was your fault. Have you ever thought of going back to a therapist now that you are older?,-0.4588,negative,sympathizing
249,MentalHealthSupport,Child’s father committed suicide 15 years ago...still hurts to this day,speaker,3,Thank u. Yes I’ve thought about seeing a therapist. I need to stop waiting and just go ahead call to make an appointment. I don’t talk to many people about how I feel because I just think they won’t care or understand.,0.7351,positive,grateful
250,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed,speaker,1,"I don’t if I’m depressed and it scares me I don’t want to be a burden In my family and I don’t know who to ask I just want someone who had depression to tell me how It feels, depression runs in my family but I’m scared that I am and I’ve thought about asking my brother cuz he has severe depression and I’ve been feeling so terrible but I can’t cry I’ve just ran dry I’m out of tears but at the same time I’m not crying I’m just scared I just need help please I get moments where I’m happy but it’s not for long because then I just think and then I worry and I don’t want to go to the doctors because that requires my family to know and I don’t want them to know the only thing that feels like it helps is cannabis but my dad is against it and I don’t want to go into a rut I feel empty when I think. Help.",-0.9349,negative,apprehensive
250,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed,listener_1,2,"Hey bro.  You may be depressed, but as silly as it sounds, you shouldn't worry about it too much. It's important to accept how you feel and try work out the reasons why you are feeling that way.  Sometimes there are no obvious reasons, and in other circumstances they are blatant. Not finding the answer out immediately shouldn't discourage you... remember, the brain is just another part of your body, much like your leg or arm.  If you broke your arm or damaged your leg you wouldn't have a problem identifying that and accepting you're in pain. No different with the mind, stuff goes wrong sometimes with our bodies and eventually your leg won't be broken anymore. It will heal, but you can't walk on your broken leg, you need to rest it, take care of it and look after it.  I get that cannabis may help in the short term, but probably won't help you in the long run. Think about cutting down, for sure. It's important  to not feel too scared, literally millions of people (including me) suffer with depression and I can literally guarantee it will get better and likely disappear completely, but don't just try and ride it out. You need to be pro-active to beat this shit.  Take some steps to help yourself out. Eat a little better, do some light exercise and most importantly stop worrying about being depressed. It won't change the fact that you are. Accept that you probably are depressed or at the very least not happy.   Now take a deep breath and work out how you are going to beat the Black Dog.   Hopefully you will find this link helpful:  https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=2ahUKEwi0l9C589_iAhWHUxUIHcfODqIQwqsBMAB6BAgEEAU&usg=AOvVaw0VTJzWxrN8ZFOD4xbU2nov  All the best",0.2538,positive,suggesting
250,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed,speaker,3,Thank you so much that was helpful thank you for the advice,0.7783,positive,sympathizing
251,MentalHealthSupport,Can someone tell me what this sounds like ( long ass post ),speaker,1,"I'm not really asking for a diagnosis, more symptoms or if someone can relate.  Since a kid I always fantasized and would socialize a lot less.. but it was after my dad died that I started to obsess about sleep and had insomnia. My thoughts were just about past regrets and future worries, physical ailments, social embarrassment, going insane, ect.  Still I'm barely in the moment, on autopilot physically but mentally just ruminating over past regrets and future choices, overanalyzing and potential bad outcomes from my choices..I can't commit and if I do I either half ass it at first or lose interest for something I think I should be doing instead. And sometimes everything seems like a dream.  Not sure if I should move cities, what to study in school, what job to take, what relationships to end, ect.  Is this a quarter life crisis, OCD, ADHD and anxiety, major depression..?  My distrust and edgyness from being so tired and stressed has me quitting and losing jobs, and it's adding to my depression and self-loathing.  TL:DR : Curious of symptoms, daydreaming child, death of father, insomnia and worry and currently on autopilot in head with worries. Any one have similar symptoms ?",-0.9978,negative,apprehensive
251,MentalHealthSupport,Can someone tell me what this sounds like ( long ass post ),listener_1,2,"Sorry to hear you're struggling with this. It sounds like maladaptive daydreaming. I would definitely suggest going to see a therapist. Something to keep in mind is that you need sleep, exercise and a healthy diet to feel good and even for medication to work. If you don't already have those three things, research on how to attain them. It takes 21 days to form a habit so don't give up on yourself. Start small and work up to healthier habits. Cut out caffeine, smoking and drinking if you haven't already done so. Good luck!",0.8955,positive,sympathizing
251,MentalHealthSupport,Can someone tell me what this sounds like ( long ass post ),speaker,3,"Never even heard of this. Makes sense, it sometimes feels like I have schizotypal but also pure OCD with my worries. A lot to get checked out. Thanks for the comment.",0.2263,positive,acknowledging
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,1,"I’m 33 and I have a 9 yo son. I have struggled with mental illness since I was a child.   I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no solution to my problems. I have been medicated since age 10 and I’ve done 28 years of different therapy including behavioural therapy for a decade. I still see a family doctor for pills and take them religiously.   I don’t have any friends. My extended family lives a fair distance away and right now my mother is dying of cancer. I doubt she has much longer with us. We’ve always had a very strained relationship due to past traumas but she’s the only human I’ve ever felt close to aside from my son.   I have been a cutter my whole life, as well. I hadn’t cut for 2 years until last night and again tonight.   I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and I don’t have the means or the capacity to move somewhere else. I had to leave the big city because it was beginning to be too much for me and now I’m in the middle of nowhere in a tiny town. I had moved to be close to my mum but she had to move closer to hospitals. Now I’m alone again.   I want to die almost everyday. I don’t think ppl like me have a fighting chance. Like a bird with one wing....  But I’m not allowed to die. I have to hide everything. No one wants to hear how sad and depressed I am ALL THE TIME.   I have absolutely no idea what to do anymore. I thought I was coping ok but deep down I just wanted to cut to feel better.  Well I may not be sloppily crying anymore but I’m not better.",-0.7891,negative,lonely
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,listener_1,2,I sincerely hope things get better for you and that you find someone you're able to confide in. Nobody deserves to suffer alone and there are a lot of people in the world who can relate to what you're struggling with. Keep fighting and take care <3,0.3182,positive,consoling
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,3,<3,0.0,neutral,neutral
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,4,I wish it were that easy but I’m hoping once I’m healed I will be feeling better. My situation isn’t going to change at all for a while. Watching mum slowly die and losing my home and moving home with my stepdad are pretty tough to deal with. Being out in the middle of nowhere has its challenges too. I wish there was a magic pill or therapy. I’ve always worked so hard on myself and I just get nowhere.,0.7794,positive,hopeful
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,listener_2,5,And keep on with it. Check in with us. We have your back.,0.0,neutral,faithful
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,6,"DBT is what I did for 10 years. I attribute that therapy to the fact that I’m still alive.   I want to micro dose desperately! It’s the price of the product that holds me back.   The network thing is impossible. I live in the middle of nowhere. Cities are too loud for me and make me an angry person. In my life my family and spouses have always told me that I play the victim while my therapists tell me they are my primary abusers. It’s hard to figure out who to believe. :(. Mum tells me I make things up about my childhood, but those memories are sooooo vivid!  Thank you for your response. It means a lot.",-0.1739,negative,ashamed
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,listener_3,7,"You’re v welcome :)   You could find an online support group :) And double-check if there’s anything in your town or a neighboring one. Check [NAMI](https://nami.org/)  and the [Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance](https://www.dbsalliance.org/) for local chapters; they’re all over the place. Can you start doing DBT again?  Microdosing can be pretty cheap! It usually runs about $15 per 100 micrograms (10-20 doses, with a dose every four days) depending on the substance and where you are. Home growing is also an option. The initial setup is the biggest expense, but from there you can use your own spore prints.   I’d be surprised if your therapists were wrong. Abusers are...abusive. If you believe that you’ve been treated poorly, then you have been.",-0.2942,negative,questioning
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,8,"Are you in Canada?   It’s a loooooong waiting list to get in to group therapies. I slipped in to a teen place thru some loopholes back when I went.   I was going to find a friend with some fungi and out em in capsules. Still need the $ but I’m working on it.   My abusers make me feel like I’m making everything up, but isn’t that what they do?! Remove blame from themselves? I-made-them-hit-me kind of thing...?",-0.7097,negative,ashamed
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,listener_3,9,"Nah, I’m in the states. Waited about six months to start the program and incurred pretty massive bills for it. Fortunately(?) I was way too poor to cover it so I only ended up paying about $140 each month instead of $700. Absolutely worth it.   And yeah, gaslighting is classic abuser behavior. Same with rationalizing.   If I were you I’d financially prioritize mushrooms ‘cause . I find weed helpful too, in small spaces out doses. Kicks my mind into a more active mode and helps me think more critically.",0.7837,positive,agreeing
252,MentalHealthSupport,Not Allowed To Die,speaker,10,Oh I’m an avid pot smoker lol it’s how ppl stay alive after screwing with my life lol.   I will get on mushrooms ASAP.   Next is asking for a referral to a psychiatrist.,0.8176,positive,apprehensive
253,MentalHealthSupport,Delusion or normal reaction?,speaker,1,"Thia is gonna be a little quick and choppy because i need to get to bed. I do have delusions and hallucinations sometimes, for the record. Something new has happened and im wondering if its a psych problem or totally normal. Basically when i see something gross, i can feel it in mouth and i become extremely nauseated. Now i know its not actually there but i can feel it and almost taste it and i cant get it out of my mouth and i want to bang my head against the wall for it to stop Currently, its a dead rat that was ran over by my dads  lawn mower that i looked at today, all thats left was a flap of flesh and the tail, idk if he was already eaten prior, but regardless i can feel the skin in my mouth and my teeth biting down on it and its driving me nuts",-0.9408,negative,afraid
253,MentalHealthSupport,Delusion or normal reaction?,listener_1,2,I’ve heard that this is a sensory thing in humans you may need to get professional help but when you see something weird and disgusting close your eyes or look on your phone then turn around or think of something else real quick maybe even breathe chew gum to make that taste go away think of rotten food maybe grilled cheese that’s stale it’s still good but hurts the teeth just breathe and stay calm   Sorry for typos,-0.8422,negative,sympathizing
253,MentalHealthSupport,Delusion or normal reaction?,speaker,3,"I paint very shittily, and i act, hopefully not shittily, lol. Ive been seeing a psychiatrist for about a year now but im in the process of being (hopefully) accepted into a program with a new doctor, a therapist, and organized activities. Thank you for responding, i appreciate it.",0.9214,positive,encouraging
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,speaker,1,"I am worried/concerned about my mental health, and I think I have about 3 or 4 possible mental health disorders and I feel like I should seek professional help or even some medication for fear things might get worse, but I'm too scared and too young to seek that kind of help by myself, even though I want to keep it a secret. I just want to be normal. Does anyone know where else I can get professional help?",0.4872,positive,apprehensive
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,listener_1,2,"Go to your family doctor.  If you’re a minor ask your guardian for a checkup, say it’s for sports or something.  When you’re alone with the doctor you can talk about it, and they WILL help.   It’s a good place to start.",0.5574,positive,trusting
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,speaker,3,"But they are too overprotective and strict, and wouldn't allow me to do anything like that - not in private. But if I wait until I am older, I feel like by then, things will already have gotten much worse.",0.0903,positive,apprehensive
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,listener_2,4,Are you able to email your doctor or call them yourself? I know that some offices have apps where you can communicate directly with your doctor. Sometimes doctors will ask parents to the room briefly.,0.0,neutral,questioning
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,speaker,5,"No, I can't because they have access to my emails and read them, and I can't call anyone in private. I also don't know who my doctor is.",0.0,neutral,afraid
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,listener_2,6,If you feel unsafe you should contact the authorities and/or speak with someone at your school.,0.0,neutral,terrified
254,MentalHealthSupport,Getting help,speaker,7,I don't feel unsafe; I just want to get some professional help.,0.4588,positive,terrified
255,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice - Issues with a Friend w/ MH Diagnosis,speaker,1,"My best friend for over 10 years has been diagnosed with depression/bipolar disorder where she gets very depressed and shuts down for days at a time. When this happens, she cancels all plans and ignores my texts and calls. It's very scary but luckily her parents live close by and she sees a therapist regularly. When this happens I always give her the space she needs, and sends her encouraging texts. The problem (which I'm afraid to approach her about) is that sometimes when she cancels plans or doesn't want to talk, is a time when I need my best friend to vent to or support me. I know this is selfish and she's a really good friend and can't stop her depressed feelings on a dime but I don't know what to do. I care about her so much and don't want her to feel guilty but goddamn it sometimes *I* want to cry or just spend some time with her to calm my nerves at the end of a hard week. I see a therapist from time to time so it's not that I'm expecting my friend to be my personal sounding board 24/7. It's just sometimes you want someone that's known you forever to be there for you when you need it. Like today there's some drama with my mom and I know she's currently having a bad day so my text reaching out to her about this will probably be ignored. I need a friend sometimes too, ya know? What should I do?",0.9828,positive,terrified
255,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice - Issues with a Friend w/ MH Diagnosis,listener_1,2,"(This is SO long-winded — I’m sorry.) I hear ya! It is hard being someone’s support system ALL the time while never being able to rely on them in kind. From your description of your bff, it sounds like she may be at a point in her MH journey where she needs much more support than she is able to give.  Tbh, with bipolar, depending on the severity, this may not ever change all that much. I’m sorry. If you were to ask her, I am quite certain her friendship love for you has not diminished. But bipolar can be an all-encompassing condition and as much as she may love you and want to help, she just simply may not be able to force her mind to come to that place for you when she is in an extreme high or low.  Now all that does nothing to help you, does it? Hmmm. Is there *any* other friend who could help you through these times? It is rather lonely, I know, especially when you are unable to hear the words you need to hear from someone who knows you so well. Unless/Until you have another friend upon whom you can lean when things get rough for you, more talk therapy may help you or maybe there is a group you could join who are discussing similar issues to those troubling you.  Don’t give up on you friend, though. I’m positive your loyalty to the friendship and any way you can show that, will help her as she learns to live with her bipolar diagnosis. Maybe during periods when she is down, like now, you could just sit with her, without trying to fix problems. Who knows? That may end up helping both of you. Wishing you the best. I would love an update, especially if you do talk with her about this.",0.9971,positive,acknowledging
255,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice - Issues with a Friend w/ MH Diagnosis,speaker,3,Thanks for your input. I was thinking earlier that this might just be something I have to deal with on occasion and can't take it personally even though it feels that way sometimes.,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
256,MentalHealthSupport,Coping with Grief: Losing a Loved One To Suicide,speaker,1,"Hi all,     I filmed a video talking about coping with grief after losing my friend and ex-girlfriend to suicide.   It's painful talking about it but I feel it's so vital that we have these conversations, discuss coping mechanisms and ways to combat negative feelings.     Would mean the world to me if you would watch the video on YouTube & maybe like & comment on it to support.     Watch: [https://youtu.be/9meZLnRfw1k](https://youtu.be/9meZLnRfw1k)     Thank you so much x",0.0514,positive,caring
256,MentalHealthSupport,Coping with Grief: Losing a Loved One To Suicide,listener_1,2,"Ooof, I'm crying. Lots of emotions are going through me. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this video as I hope it helps people and helps raise awareness of suicide.",0.1602,positive,sympathizing
256,MentalHealthSupport,Coping with Grief: Losing a Loved One To Suicide,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for watching and for being so compassionate. I'm so dedicated in raising mental health awareness and trying to help others. Mental Health issues and especially suicide is far too common. We're living in an age where our identity is constantly in question. Social media is negatively affecting us and everyone needs to talk more about their feelings. Talk openly about your feelings, always xx",0.7793,positive,grateful
256,MentalHealthSupport,Coping with Grief: Losing a Loved One To Suicide,speaker,4,"Thanks so much for watching and your support. I'm posting videos every Tuesday on my YouTube channel from now on. Not just mental health though, some on Identity, stories, toxic masculinity, as well as music and culture.     That is a great idea. I think I will definitely film something on that topic and maybe put it out next Tuesday. Such great ideas - thank you. I just want to be able to help others who are grieving or those going through a hard time. It's so important and mental health awareness / support is still so far from where it should be. Thanks again x",0.9785,positive,grateful
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,1,"i told myself i’d live until june 17th, it’s the perfect day. i figured it all out, monday is the day that will hurt them the least. but i can’t wait. i need to do this soon. i’m ending this stupid fucking existence tomorrow night.",-0.7469,negative,anticipating
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,2,"i was going to ask my best friend if i could call her and talk, but she’s having a bad night. i don’t know what to do",-0.2617,negative,lonely
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_1,3,"I had one of the worst days in a while yesterday. I was mentally and physically exhausted, then my best friend who suffers horribly from depression was calling me. I let the first couple calls go to voicemail because I didn't have the energy to talk but by the third time she called I knew it meant she was going through something bad. I answered, knowing it meant I'd be on the phone for at least an hour as she cries and vents, and I'm so glad I did because I know it meant a lot. You would be surprised how much support you have if you tell your loved ones how you really feel. I hope you find a light in your life soon.",0.8355,positive,apprehensive
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_2,4,You’re not alone. What is one thing that you like doing? Is there anything that lessens your pain?,-0.1078,negative,questioning
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_3,5,"I’m not saying this to be insensitive, but this is a pretty crappy thing to say to someone who is suicidal. I understand the actions of your spouse hurt you, but people need to live for themselves, not because they’ve been guilted into staying miserable for the benefit of others. The more I read this it kinda makes me bubble with anger because it’s written from someone who obviously hasn’t felt what depression and mental illness offers. I also have lost someone close to me to suicide; but this comment is unfair and just manipulative to be honest ... if someone is in this amount of pain, and they have tried EVERYTHING to get better but they’re still progressing to get worse, while you don’t need to agree with their decision, empathising doesn’t go astray.",-0.9913,negative,sad
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,6,"i am in constant, debilitating pain. have been for 6 years. i’ve been told pain management can’t do any more, and i’m stuck like this, as well as that, it gets worse with age. i know i’ll hurt people but i can’t take the pain anymore",-0.8842,negative,sad
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_4,7,Have you tried everything? Even alternative medicine? Weed?,0.0,neutral,questioning
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,8,"alternative medicine, acupuncture, led light therapy, reiki, all the holistic stuff we could find, physio therapy, all medication they’ll put me on at my age. i’m in the uk and 15 so weed is not an option as far as i know. this is all i have left",0.0,neutral,agreeing
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_5,9,Playing the devil’s advocate... Are you going to die without ever trying weed?,-0.4767,negative,questioning
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_6,10,"I agree, please don't do it.",0.5859,positive,agreeing
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,listener_4,11,"I understand your point of view and respect your opinion.I have had issues with depression as well though.I can only go by suffering mentally because I do not suffer from debilitating pain like this person and I had no clue until she wrote me. It's sad that there seems to be no way out of this situation, that she had tried everything possible and is still in pain.I did not mean to guilt anyone into staying alive, but USUALLY most people considering suicide don't have a finite reason like her, in her case it's a very bad situation,that is not so much a consequence of mental illness but physical pain.A lot of people don't think about the ones they leave behind, which is why I wrote this.Tons of people feel alone and think nobody cares, even if that's not true..again going by experience here.-I don't condone her choice, but it is hers to make in the end",-0.9355,negative,trusting
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,12,"i’m doing really bad, eMarchHare. i can’t live like this anymore, i’m in so much pain",-0.7070000000000001,negative,afraid
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,13,"i’m here, i’m not dead. i wish i was, but i’m still alive for now",0.6114,positive,neutral
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,14,"i’m here, not dead.",0.5334,positive,neutral
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,15,"fine, i’ll tell someone",0.2023,positive,acknowledging
257,MentalHealthSupport,i can’t do this,speaker,16,"unfortunately for me i’ve realised the 17th was a bad day, i’m sticking around a little longer",-0.7096,negative,hopeful
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",speaker,1,"First of all I'm 20/M and from canada. For not too long ago I lost a person in my life that was very important to me. First I thought I can handle the situation but started to get really depressive. After a time my mind brought a lot of things and mistakes I made in the past to me and made me chew on them. Each new ""thing"" took me like a week to fully process , so I can start thinking about something normal again and enjoy my day a bit. It didn't last long, after a few days the next thing from my past would come up to my thoughts and start plague me. If I wanted to think about anything else I really needed to concentrate. I couldnt  smile once and cried alot that time. But things got worse. After I was done with ""a couple of them"", my mind would go further and make me believe things that aren't true. Or I believed arent true. For example, that I leaked nude pics of myself to a stranger online... I know Ive chatted with a couple of strangers but would never do that on porpuse, so my brain made me believe the weirdest way how it happened.. But thats one of the more harmless storys. I even felt responsible for the death of another person who died in a car accident!!  The way I leaked the pics ,is so unrealistic and kinda dumb and really not my way. But because its so long ago, I can never be a 100% sure I didnt do it if you know what I mean. So I think thats what my brain wants me to feel. Insecure. Even when it sounds so dumb and stupid, my mind repeats the story over and over again so that I start thinking its the truth. because it's just impossible to prove wrong. The only thing I have is my memory, but when I try so hard to remember the truth I want to hear , I can think about nothing else. All of this never bothered me, all of this happened long time ago and I had a normal life after that and never any problems. Didnt even realize these things as ""Problems"".  Maybe its all true and I'm just realizing the small devastating Details now? Anyway I could never change anything about it, the only way I could be sure, is if anything catches up with me. So the best would be just continue living.  But I'm very scared of that because I couldnt handle to be responsible for another persons death.  I dont know what to do anymore I hope anyone of you can help me in anyway. I just want my old life back. I just want this all to stop. Everytime my mind repeats the storys it gets a little worse for me. Its so hard to stop it, I've tried so much. I'm feeling like everybody hates me since I'm so depressed and not doing anything then being for myself. it took me alot to even write this down and make this public. I dont know what else to do anymore I guess. I feel like I'm going Crazy, I never had this before in my whole life. If you have read this far, thanks for taking your time and listening to me!",-0.9954,negative,sad
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",listener_1,2,"You might have post-traumatic stress. Not the disorder, just the stress.  When you think of things that have happened to you more than, say, six months ago, do you have a strong negative emotional reaction? If you do, you need to talk about them to someone. The first time you'll bawl your eyes out, and the second and the third, but maybe by the fifth time it's not so hard to talk about, and by the tenth you're just talking about it with no strong emotional reaction. That's the best and probably only way to deal with post traumatic stress: talk about it till talking about it doesn't hurt anymore.  Same with your friend. Talk about it with someone you can trust. When they notice you're taking blame upon yourself, acknowledge it verbally, restate what you said, and keep going till it doesn't bring on a strong negative reaction. This might be hard to do now since it happened recently, but you should still try to talk it out with someone.  Weather or not it's post traumatic stress, your serotonin system is definitely out of whack. The best way to describe this is using lobsters, because they have a serotonin system like us. When a lobster is challenged to a fight, it gets pumped up with serotonin. This makes it stand up tall and posture with it's claws out, ready to fight. The lobster who loses has a sharp decline in serotonin. It becomes submissive, crouched over, and timid. It lost, so being aggressive can get it killed, and its little lobster brain knows that and acts to protect the lobster.  Your brain doesn't know, really, that your friend died in a way you couldn't have prevented, that had nothing to do with you. It thinks ""a valued member of the group died and so I must keep my body safe"" and your serotonin plunges. It makes you anxious, scared, and alert to danger. It looks for possible signs of danger and makes you think about them, then observes your reaction. If it makes you upset, it must be a threat, so it will reinforce your negative emotional reaction by making you more anxious and more afraid. That's why the only real way past it is to talk about it and talk about it until you don't have an emotional response. Your brain can then file the event away as ""not dangerous"" and let you move forward with a little more serotonin than you had before.   You need to talk to another person, regardless. I hope you will consider some counseling, but a good friend will do just fine. Another person will stop you and say ""hey, you're being too hard on yourself"" or ""don't you think that's unreasonable?"" or ""maybe if you think about it this way...""   When we spend too much time in our own heads, it can lead to a bottomless downward spiral. You need outside information and feedback to help you separate what's true from what your mind has inaccurately rationalized as true.   If you'd like, you can PM me. I don't know if any of this is true for you, but I'm really familiar with emotional stress responses and I could probably help you sort out how to move forward.  And you can move forward. You have the potential. You just need to learn how to get out of your own way so you can reach it, and part of that must be allowing a second party to listen and help you rationalize.   I wish you well, friend.",0.9624,positive,sad
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",speaker,3,"Thanks for taking your time and giving me your personal advise! I know I need to talk to others to get better. I'm going into a clinic soon. I dont have any close friends, not even friends in general and I feel like I really cant talk about that with my family. It's complicated but from my experiences it can only get worse. Let's say they are just not that sensitive for these kind of problems. But I decided to fully open myself to the therapist I'm going to see, I would do anything to get better. So I can't wait to do that, I already started taking notes who could be important in my therapy. I just need to pass that time",0.4264,positive,trusting
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",listener_1,4,"I'm really glad to hear you're going to a clinic! It will be a huge step forward for you. And I understand about families not being very helpful. My own is much the same way. I've had to really work to hold on to the two friends I have, too. But I found that when my mind was healthy, making social bonds came more naturally. I hope you have the same experience.  In the mean time before you see a professional, escapism isn't a bad idea. Personally, I recommend binging Adventure Time or Steven Universe. Something innocent and simple with positive, reaffirming messages that's funny and quirky. Audiobooks are a favorite of mine, as well as history podcast archives, like Hardcore History (HIGHLY RECOMMEND!), Tides of History, or even something silly and different like The Joe Rogan Experience or H3H3 if you're into irreverent humor. Whatever it takes to keep you out of your own mind until you can get some intervention.",0.9954,positive,grateful
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",speaker,5,"Thanks for your answer and taking your time and actually caring! Whenever I get a nice, helpful answer like this it makes me feel a little better. I am trying it since tomorrow. But as soon as one of these thoughts enters my mind again, I need to overthink it from the begining to tell me everything is okay. Right now this happens like every 30 minutes. Its annoying but it's getting a little better. I dont want to ruin the things that were fun for me, for example when I get my medication for my physical diseases I get nausea. And when I always drink the same drink with my nausea my brain links these two. So when my nausea is over and I""m drinking this drink it makes me feel unconfortable. The same thing with my thoughs and mental problems. The bad feelings can also link with certain things. As I hit the bottom a few weeks ago, I played the whole time with a square. So when I even see this square it gives me really bad flashbacks.",0.8638,positive,grateful
258,MentalHealthSupport,"Very long text, I'm sorry",listener_1,6,"The more you think about something that happened in the past, the more likely you are to draw false conclusions. Our memories are faulty, and it's completely possible for you to overwrite what really happened with corrupted data.   This is definitely a dragon you can slay. It's a setback, and a scary one, but when you're a young man in the world seeking out your fortune a dragon is always a terrible thing to face. But the thing about the dragon is that, in defeating it, you get the things you need to make your fortune.   Right now, you've got some bad strategies for dealing with your stress. Evidently they're bad because even when you think you've thought something through and solved a problem, something else comes up, and nothing gets better. You'll learn new and better ones in therapy. You just have to follow one rule: always be honest, or at least don't lie. If you stick with it and tell the truth, to your counselor and to yourself, you'll overcome.  Sometimes I sort by new and someone's story really resonates with me and my heart gets all soft. I'm glad to know you feel even a little better!",-0.3592,negative,terrified
259,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with wanting to commit suicide or self harm?,speaker,1,"I'm really really trying not to kill myself right now, the feeling is so horrible and I am really struggling to not kill myself or self harm. I have ruined my boyfriend's chances of getting his interview and I hate who I am, I am so pathetic and stupid. I just don't see where I can go from this, I feel so guilty and like I can't fix what I've done, I'm really trying not to kill myself right now.",-0.9316,negative,ashamed
259,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with wanting to commit suicide or self harm?,listener_1,2,"Try to do something physical to take your mind off of it.   Yeah, you made a mistake. I don’t know the story but I can only assume that nothing can be done about it now. So the best thing to do would be to move forward without hurting yourself. If you hurt yourself, you hurt those who love you.",0.7653,positive,sad
259,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with wanting to commit suicide or self harm?,speaker,3,"I realised I never properly replied to this, I've tried this tactic as well, I try to deconstruct my anxious thoughts (or thinking errors) and reflect in the moment, it's very difficult though, my head is so difficult to control, it's not that I don't want to control because I absolutely do but it's so so hard!   I tend to only think of how I could of made a situation better long after it happened, as before that it's all a blur, but I am going to try hard to practice thinking this through in the present!",-0.6038,negative,embarrassed
260,MentalHealthSupport,"Supposed to get food with a friend tonight but they didn’t show up, and now I’m here alone.",speaker,1,"I’m currently struggling with a lot of mental health stuff right now, and after a long day at work, I looked forward to being able to get dessert at a nice Thai restaurant with a friend I haven’t seen since high school, which was a few years ago.   Problem is I called her today several times to confirm, but she didn’t answer. I called her s few times because she has Down syndrome and sometimes needs some extra guidance. But she hasn’t answered and she definitely isn’t showing up so here I am alone eating yummy purple rice dessert (vegan friendly!!) alone in a tiny room with one waiter at the register.   He’s a nice waiter, don’t get me wrong!!! We had a nice laugh because while he was on the phone, he saw my try to drink water but miss my mouth completely and spill it on myself. He was holding in his laugh until he hung up. We had a good chuckle.   But I’m still sad. My friend has Down Syndrome and sometimes need da bit more guidance, so I can’t imagine it’s anything other than the fact that she genuinely forgot as she is nothing but sweet to anyone, and we got along well during high school.   However, I was really looking forward to the social interaction, and I worry that once I leave the restaurant, the sadness will take over and I will fall prey to my negative coping mechanisms, which mainly consist of binging, self harm, and/or using technology to distract myself for hours until the sun comes out.   Some mind words, encouragement, or some big sister/big brother advice would be nice. I’ve always wanted an older sibling actually! I don’t really have any stable adult figures that I can go to for help right now, and that can be very hard on me.   Thank you for taking the time to read, and I wish you all nothing but love, strength, and the courage to work through the pain!",0.9587,positive,disappointed
260,MentalHealthSupport,"Supposed to get food with a friend tonight but they didn’t show up, and now I’m here alone.",listener_1,2,"Hey, it's okay to feel lonely and heartbroken sometimes.Especially when things are tough in your life and you are struggling.I m sure you are right about your friend simply forgetting about meeting with you.what you could do is the next time you talk to her on the phone, just tell her 'nicely' that you were just sad she didn't come.You are not mad at her, you were just a little disappointed and maybe next time make sure she responds back even if she can't make it  As far as coping, how about trying to replace the unhealthy things you do with things that are better: Like instead of self harm, use a ice cube in your hand, snap a rubber band on your wrist.It will give you some pain, but you won't feel crappy about what you did to yourself the next day( I 've done that, so that's why I say that) Instead of binge-eating maybe just make a few things you really love and crave.Take your time to focus on preparing the dishes and focus on making them as delicious as you possibly can. Draw you a nice bath and relax too.  Things will get better, remember the quote from the crow?-It can't rain all the time  I hope I could help, I 'll pray for you too",0.99,positive,suggesting
260,MentalHealthSupport,"Supposed to get food with a friend tonight but they didn’t show up, and now I’m here alone.",speaker,3,"Thanks for the advice and encouragement!!   I don’t think those self harm alternatives will work for me. In my mind, I classify any sort of pain inflicting as self harm and I think it would only Trigger me further, but thank you anyway!   I like your suggestions :)",0.8566,positive,acknowledging
260,MentalHealthSupport,"Supposed to get food with a friend tonight but they didn’t show up, and now I’m here alone.",speaker,4,I will!,0.0,neutral,confident
260,MentalHealthSupport,"Supposed to get food with a friend tonight but they didn’t show up, and now I’m here alone.",speaker,5,"Aw thank you. Man I’m getting so many nice responses I feel like a broken record, but really, thank you. I love when people call me honey haha!! I always call people who I’m close with “my love” or “sweetie” or tell people that they’re so adorable (in a clearly platonic way) and I really hope it makes them feel good!   A cold pack sounds like a nice idea actually :)",0.9936,positive,acknowledging
261,MentalHealthSupport,"Im anxious, i fucked up. And im changing schools, i just need support/advice",speaker,1,"Okay, before I start this I'd like to say I deserve all of this.   Due to me doing some fucked up shit. I've been forced to leave my school, though I was planning on moving anyway. I still wasent ready. I tried to apologise to one of my friends and now I'm constantly anxious. The thought of offing myself has been on my mind alot lately. I am afraid I will not have any friends in my new school. I was ready for highschool and I wanted to pick my electives. This will not be possible. I just need someone to talk too. If anyone can message me it would mean alot. Thank you all",-0.0397,neutral,ashamed
261,MentalHealthSupport,"Im anxious, i fucked up. And im changing schools, i just need support/advice",listener_1,2,"Hey, it will be alright.Its perfectly normal to be anxious about that.High school is tough on any kid, whether you got a ton of friends or none.Are your friends mad that you are changing schools soon? Maybe you can patch things up with them, that way when you start over in a new school you still have some support from your old friends you can count on.Instead of a horrible crisis, try to look at it as a opportunity to reinvent yourself.If there is anything you wanted to change about your appearance or the way you act, starting with a clean slate would be a great chance to try it out.You are still young, and you have so much time left on this earth.If you feel suicidal, please seek help.Go to a ER, confide in your school counselor or your parents.You are not in this alone, so I hope this will ease your anxiety.",0.919,positive,suggesting
261,MentalHealthSupport,"Im anxious, i fucked up. And im changing schools, i just need support/advice",speaker,3,"Thank you, I have few freinds alert from my old school. But the good ones I have left really help me. I'm not feeling anxious anymore but I'm really exited, thank you for the support",0.9581,positive,grateful
261,MentalHealthSupport,"Im anxious, i fucked up. And im changing schools, i just need support/advice",speaker,4,"Update, I have picked my electives and  exited to meet new people and be myself again :)",0.4588,positive,excited
262,MentalHealthSupport,I am Overwhelmed and Bored,speaker,1,"I am currently halfway through my Masters in counseling and am about to get started on my practicum. However, I nearly didn't start this semester for financial reasons and I am coming to a point where I am considering quitting/taking a break. I am more unbearably stressed than I have ever been, I am overwhelmed, and I am becoming less and less interested/more and more bored with my courses and the assignments. I run on online business but it doesn't make enough money to support my bills. I find myself pushing homework back until the last minute (something I never did before) and focusing on my business. I also find myself dreading moving forward in the program. I rely on my loans to pay my bills and this is the main reason I have not quit. Additionally, my family has worked so hard to make sure I am able to get this education. They helped me move to another state, they even loaned me the money to be able to do this semester at all.  I feel conflicted but I need to make the decision ASAP because I am currently in pre-practicum and should be figuring out my practicum (no point in contacting places if I am going to take a break or back out but also I am falling dangerously behind).",-0.8532,negative,disappointed
262,MentalHealthSupport,I am Overwhelmed and Bored,listener_1,2,"Hi, I can relate to your conundrum, because when I went to college I thought social work ( helping teens in the ghetto) was my life's mission.However, my passion started to wane quickly and luckily I had other opportunities then.About your situation:If you dread it, then perhaps this field is not a career that you should persue.Not due to a lack of skill, but if the passion is gone you will have a harder time completing your degree and eventually working in that field.Maybe check out alternatives that you have a interest in which you can use your degree as a entry point.A crude example is market research: people with a degree in psychology are preferred in these careers because they know how to reach the people the company tries to sell products to.Someone like you can give insights into the why and how a customer's identifies with a product and the lifestyle associated with it. If you are interested in economics you could use your credits and completed statistics and algebra classes to switch your major and make psychology your minor.Study things like spending habits of the average person etc. It all comes down to what you feel would suit you best, career..If you can't decide, I would still try to finish out your degree, so you have something in your pocket,so to speak.You can always go back and study a completely different field once you decide which one you want.If you have the option, perhaps you can delay your practicum too and take that time to do some soul searching before you go back  I hope this helps you.Sounds dumb to bring it up, but I m sure you know about pro and con lists, so perhaps using this concept to figure out what move benefits you the most could help you narrow it down too",0.989,positive,suggesting
262,MentalHealthSupport,I am Overwhelmed and Bored,speaker,3,"I have a degree in psych. This is my masters I'm working on. But yeah, I've thought of this. I think I might take a semester or two off",0.4215,positive,suggesting
263,MentalHealthSupport,second worst day of my life.,speaker,1,"hello reddit, today i have come here to talk about something that happened in school today: public humiliation.  some background info, i'm a 16 year old female in high school. i'm almost a junior. this story takes place in my honors english class. so, over the summer, i've suffered the harsh reality of my father's death. considering he was the only parent in my life and it was the only death i ever experienced, i was heartbroken. now, after that, i was diagnosed with PTSD. before that, i was already diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.  but, yes. today.  today, we took a test on vocabulary in english. the last one of the year (yay!). anyways, after i finished my test, my english teacher called me up to his desk with my essay on the screen of his laptop. i was confused.  he informed me i forgot my works cited page, and of course, that was my own little major accident! so he gave me a chance to make it up (i'm gonna do it after i finish typing this post), but that's not all he had to say to me.  let me remind you, this was in the middle of class, the room dead silent.  he went on this whole rant about how horrible my essay was from the way i quoted to my explanations of the quotes and lack of sources, even though i used all of the ones i was supposed to... um.   everyone was staring at me. he, in front of my entire class, told me how lazy and unproductive i was. he told me how poorly written my essay was and how it was obvious i spent little time on it.  so what could i even say?  of course, i said nothing.  i went back to my desk, and visibly sobbed. you could hear me sniffling. no one checked on me, which i'm well used to because its not the first time i've cried in his class (my dog was sick and i was devastated last time i cried in his class. he's doing better now in case anyone was wondering!)  for the next two hours, i cried during lunch, phys ed, and spanish class. no one bothered to check on me besides a couple of my friends. one rubbed my back and told me everything would be okay. i really appreciated that.   the fact that my teacher was so rude enough to humiliate me in front of a class of 28 who already thought i was the weird kid, was an absolute terror.   i'm not even sure how to feel. all i can do is cry and complain. i'm not sure where to take it from here, if i even should do anything about it.  i wrote a detailed email explaining to him why it seemed so poorly written. i let him know that i was having extreme issues at home and i was in need of serious help, so i couldn't focus on my schoolwork. i sent that 14 hours ago, and i've still gotten no response or anything.   this truly upsets me, and the humiliation really triggered me. may i get any advice? thank you to anyone who read this. i'm absolutely devastated. i've told my parents and everything, but they don't seem to care.",-0.9978,negative,ashamed
263,MentalHealthSupport,second worst day of my life.,listener_1,2,"Hey! I’m just a stranger but your story really resonates with me. I don’t know what words to offer you, because I will never know to the full extent of your suffering. But as a person who has experienced a similar situation, the only consolation I can offer to you is that it will pass. Everything. All of this. All the kids that think you’re weird will move on with their lives and forget that they even thought you were weird, and so will you. And sometimes, a lot of people are too caught up with their own thoughts to actually pay too much attention to other people. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear but if you want to talk more, you can message me :) as a final word, I wish that the rest of your day (or tomorrow, because I don’t know your timezone) will be okay. Complete happiness may be a reach, because honestly, you can’t just switch to being joyful so fast after experiencing this kind of thing, but I just hope that you feel calm.   Sorry if my english isn’t the best. Not a native speaker hahaha.",0.9881,positive,caring
263,MentalHealthSupport,second worst day of my life.,speaker,3,"thank you for the kind words, i really appreciate it! also, your english is really good!",0.913,positive,acknowledging
263,MentalHealthSupport,second worst day of my life.,listener_2,4,"I agree, this does seem possible.",0.3612,positive,agreeing
264,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with my head,speaker,1,"I've had this going on for about 3 years now, it wasn't a problem before but it's become worse and worse  I'm constantly dealing with thoughs a normal person wouldn't have wanted. Aka ways ti kill someone, to torture and what's the worst way someone could die on. It would've been that bad if i didn't want to do it.  It's weird one part of me don't want to and the other wants to. I've had hvis since i started self-harming, I'm not doing it now and I'm not depressed or any other normal mental problem.  I just don't know what to do. I'm to ashamed of myself to go to a therapists. I don't wanna say to someone that i imagine people dying and enjoying it.  Idk if this is the right place to ask but it's the only place i could fine that isn't so personal.",-0.9912,negative,terrified
264,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with my head,listener_1,2,"'unwanted thoughts syndrome' is not so uncommon. I think it has a root in ocd... Anyway, you have nothing to be ashamed of and although it may take many different tries with different professionals, a therapist would most likely be the best way to go. They've heard it all and more. It's what they do. They also don't just ""lock you up"" if you have violent thoughts. You would have to be an IMMEDIATE and Fatal physical risk to yourself or others before they'd force that on you. Good luck. Ask for help. ✌️",0.6065,positive,trusting
264,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with my head,speaker,3,"Yeah i don't wanna be ""labeled"" as a psychopath kinds",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
265,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feel disoriented a lot?,speaker,1,So I’m not sure if this makes complete sense but lately I will get randomly disoriented and not be able to tell which way is which for example I touched my completely normal earring and for some reason I couldn’t tell if it was in backwards or not (which it wasn’t) also I can’t seem to remember when things happen or remember if things actually did happen or not,-0.5944,negative,embarrassed
265,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feel disoriented a lot?,listener_1,2,It sounds like you are having problems with dissociation I get problems with that to when I am stressed feel disconnected floaty or I only hear what I want to hear.sometims just plain confused..,-0.743,negative,acknowledging
265,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feel disoriented a lot?,speaker,3,Thanks for letting me Know,0.4404,positive,grateful
266,MentalHealthSupport,How do I talk to a teacher about my depression and suicidal thoughts?,speaker,1,"I’ve been suicidal for years, and I think finally I have the courage to reach out for help, as I want to work on bettering myself and my mental health. I have a trusted teacher in mind, but I was wondering if anyone has advice on what to do/say? What will happen when I tell them? Should I talk to them and plan a time in advance to talk or just drop in to their classroom after school? Any advice helps. Thanks!",0.8352,positive,trusting
266,MentalHealthSupport,How do I talk to a teacher about my depression and suicidal thoughts?,listener_1,2,"I think you should ask them in advance for a meet between you and them. It can be hard to talk about, tell them you need to talk about something personal. A lot of the time teachers are more then happy to talk or listen to what you have to say. It may be though, but I hope it goes well",0.8312,positive,trusting
266,MentalHealthSupport,How do I talk to a teacher about my depression and suicidal thoughts?,speaker,3,"Thanks, I might try that!",0.4926,positive,acknowledging
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,speaker,1,"I read the symptoms of Maladaptive Daydreaming on the subreddit of MDand I have all of the symptoms of MD.  Please help me! Instead of studying and preparing for the most important exam of my life, I am MDing most of the hours of my day. I am preparing for an engineering entrance exam but MD has destroyed me. Ideally 2 years are required for preparing for the exam and now only 6 months are left. And I still don't stop MDing instead of studying. Please please please help me out!  Here's what I MD about:(There are tons of scenarios but these are the most common ones)  1. I have become the Prime Minister of my country and I am making ' revolutionary changes ' and thus making my country the best country in the world. And crushing the enemy countries.  2. Terrorists attack my school and I am able to kill all the terrorists. ( In some cases they shoot at my crush but then I dive in and take a bullet for her and thus saving her and then killing all the terrorists and she of course gets impressed.  )  3. I am getting Rank 1 in the above mentioned exam. And giving my interview to news reporters.  4. I have legit super powers( Like wtf looks like I never grew up, I still imagine myself having the superpowers that they show in anime ).   Please help me!",-0.882,negative,ashamed
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,listener_1,2,"After doing some research I would say the best thing to do is to seek professional help. Although MD is not treatable by most standard drugs, there is one that some people with OCD take and prescribed that has helped one case study.never hurts to try it. It could also be in reference to schizophrenia medication if it's bad enough. Either way, a trained professional would be your best bet.   Side note: I (23 f) have never in my life have told anyone this but I am an avid daydreamer myself. Not even my husband (23 m) knows and we've been together for 9 years. I have done this sort of daydreamkng since I believe 11 yo or even younger. But I also have PTSD due to childhood memories so I think I can see why I have MD. Although, I've been experiencing an uptake on my day dreams lately and didnt know there was a literal diagnosis for this. I kept thinking I was just crazy and didnt want to be seen as a schizophrenic. This has helped me, because now I feel like I can finally talk to my counselor about this. Thank you for putting that diagnosis out there. And I hope you get the care you deserve to pass your exam!!",0.97,positive,trusting
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,speaker,3,"I am sorry, I live in a place where I cannot tell my parents about my condition because then they will simply say "" It's all in your head, no need to waste money on treatment. If a person truly wants to achieve something then they forget all their ailments and achieve that thing."".  Is there any other way out? Due to MD, I have kind of mastered an art which I like to call 'Self-Deception'.  As for the middle part of your comment, looks like it describes me but can you first tell me what is PTSD, ADHD(I have heard about it at many places) and schizophrenia?",0.1803,positive,questioning
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,listener_1,4,"So PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder where something in the past can cause someone to re-live situations if there is a trigger in the now present. Kind of like war vets. In USA (idk where you are) but some Vets dont like fireworks because it reminds them of war and they go through the traumatic experience all over again when the firework goes off.   Schizophrenia is when a person cannot tell the difference between fantasies and reality. Sometimes schizophrenia can be extremely scary when the mind is imagining like spiders coming out of a wall, a person there talking to you etc. However schizophrenia is an extreme: you can hear, feel, smell, and communicate with these things that aren't actually there and what separates MD from schizophrenia is that MD you know it's fake. Schizophrenia you know (but technicall think) it's really happening when it's all a hallucination.   ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: the best way to describe this is having your attention span super small and not being able to focus on one task at a time. I wouldn't say its completely related to MD but it does share features of it. Like being distracted that is. Although being diagnosed with ADHD is a very long process. I watched my friend put alot of money into those tests and she came out with the result of not having it. Which in special terms is a good thing. One less thing to worry about.   I'm sorry to hear about your parents though. Do you have a school counselor or administration counselor at the school that could help?? I guess depending on the country, culture, etc it could be hard to ask but it doesnt hurt to ask since your exam is on the line here. They could potentially see it as a call for help so that you can perform better in school.",0.6507,positive,afraid
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,speaker,5,"It looks like I definitely do NOT have Schizophrenia, maybe I have a very small bit of PTSD, I don't remember any incident like that though but I think there's a chance and as for ADHD, I am not sure because while playing on my phone I have a long attention span but while studying I have a short attention span.   As for the counselors I am kinda shy in asking people for help in person which explains in my profile why I have been asking for help on various sub-reddits.",0.8921,positive,apprehensive
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,listener_2,6,"Hey, AroariaSoy96, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,listener_1,7,"It can def be hard but in order to get help with something so specific, it's always best to ask a professional. Especially since MD is still undergoing research. Unfortunately on Reddit, including myself, we can offer support while you're going through these difficult times. Maybe  try to use a different study technique? You said you like to be on your phone, maybe see if there is a way to study using that? Perhaps? Until you're able to get a proper diagnosis and treatment though, this might seem a little difficult. I'm truly sorry though and hope other subreddits or someone on this one can help you further. I can only recall personal experiences and cant say ""Do this"" since I'm not a professional by any means.",0.9625,positive,suggesting
267,MentalHealthSupport,I( 16 year old Male ) am suffering fromMaladaptive Day dreaming disorder since more than 3 years! Help! I need to study!,speaker,8,Yes in fact the coaching institute that I am enrolled with to prepare for that important exam in 2020 provides solutions to questions on phone in an application but I don't use it at all instead the app becomes an excuse to keep using phone instead of quitting it. I don't quit phone thinking that maybe one day I will start using the app to study so I need not quit phone but instead spend a lot of hours daily on it especially right now during the summer break.,0.4678,positive,apprehensive
268,MentalHealthSupport,I told my suicidal ideations “No”. trigger warning.,speaker,1,"I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideations basically my whole life.   I’m 37. I have attempted twice. Once as a child in a way that was extremely unlikely to have worked but super sad that I was in that spot. Once 5 years ago  I put a rifle to my chest and pulled the trigger, nothing happened.   7 years ago the behavior related to my bipolar disorder cost me my career. I have considered suicide daily. Sometimes intensely. Sometimes with a certainly lethal plan. Every morning I think of what I lost and it crushes me.   The only real thing that has helped is reading stories of those experiencing suicide bereavement. I can’t do it to the ones I love.   I have had enough. I have been driven to the point I could fucking scream. So a few days ago I was drinking my morning coffee outside and started thinking. Same thoughts. Feeling pity about losing the ability to help, the money and the time.   The suicidal ideations crept in. I literally told them no. The first no was matter of fact. The thoughts kept going. I said no again but with authority. They kept coming an I kept saying no. Louder and with more conviction. Then they stopped. I screamed loud.   I haven’t had them since. It’s just a few days but I have a plan and strategy that may work.   I’ve changed my focus to building a new life and trying not to lament the one I lost. Maybe it’ll be better.   It’s weird to think 5 years ago I was crushed with my job situation and attempted suicide and now I feel it’s possible to manage it. Who knows where I can be in 5 years if I continue looking forward. I had spent about 5 years building my last career.   I just wanted to tell someone.",-0.9923,negative,terrified
268,MentalHealthSupport,I told my suicidal ideations “No”. trigger warning.,listener_1,2,Proud of you.,0.4767,positive,impressed
268,MentalHealthSupport,I told my suicidal ideations “No”. trigger warning.,speaker,3,Gotta take small steps. I found accepting that I will build something different to be profound. I have been working second shift so I get coffee and sun every morning. I’m always willing to talk.,0.3818,positive,trusting
269,MentalHealthSupport,depressed for no reason,speaker,1,"I am 21. My depression is worse in the morning. I feel like there is no meaninful reason to live. I don't want to get up. Then I force myself out of bed. I don't want to eat but I eat anyway. When I start eating, I get hungry and eat very fast and eat many things (I am thin anyway so this is not a problem) My depression is looking at the world's beauty without being able to be part of it. I have friends but I don't see the point of seeing them. Feels like nothing makes a difference and want to abandon all of my projects. I spend my time staying outside or with my cat but when the depression is bad I just watch the simpsons or something like that and obsess on the internet about which mental illness makes me feel like this.  It's not so bad every day. Sometimes it leaves me as soon as I get out of bed. Some periods I don't even have it. I remember that my first period of depression was in middle school, during the summer, but it was because I didn't have close friends. Then in high shool it went away completely until during the third year of high school it came back. Anxiety started that year. I wasn't actually anxious, but I had chest pressure and diazepam helped it. I started smoking more weed because of depression (or maybe it was the other way around) and then I started abusing diazepam. I took all the 100mg bottle within 5 days. I talked in slow motion, fell asleep at random times, didn't care about anything (I was taking more than prescribed). One day I mixed it with weed and passed out and I decided not to take it anymore.  At the end of high school in 2017 (five years here in Italy) I tried several psychedelics. I was so amazed by those experiences that I didn't feel depressed anymore. Then at the end of summer I took mushrooms and I remember crying during that trip. I remember feeling dirty for the pain I had been giving to my parents (they knew I abused drugs). I felt relief while crying and things started getting better but I still felt this depression lingering despite the fact that my life was good. I wanted to take more psychedelics to realize the good in my life but since that mush trip it's like psychedelics turned on me. In 2018 took LSD twice having teerifying trips. In a desperate attempt to experience happiness again I took MDMA three days in a row and the days after I would have killed myself if I didn't know it was just the comedown. Then I discovered DMT which lasts for only 15 minutes and I had beautiful trips but when I came back to reality I still felt bad. At the end of the year another mushroom trip turned bad and after that trip things have started to go downhill. I had random moments of anxiety in which I lived the sensations of the trip until at the beginning of this year suffered from a mental breakdown (racing thoughts, heavy anxiety, feeling cold and shivering, sensivity to noises and lights, insomnia and sleep paralysis).  I recovered from it and I started feeling better. I thought that maybe it had been drugs' fault all the time. Started going out again, feeling like myself again, new activities, going at university again (before I did exams without going to lessons, as I'm doing now). Then randomly one morning I woke up feeling depressed. On that day I lost hope. Anxiety comes back when I get stressed (and I easily do).  When I felt good nothing was different from now (except for all the things I did in between ). I remember that in my childhood I had difficulties feeling part of groups and communicating to other kids. Felt better with my parents. I learnt how to read and write very young. Going to school when I was 5 has been traumatic and at school I had repetitive behaviors like walking in circles, hated to do works like filling shapes with paint and all the kids' stuff. Couldn't sleep far from home (this issue has come back since my mental breakdown). Had many nightmares at home since I startes going to school. Those symptoms disappeared when I grew up.",-0.9914,negative,ashamed
269,MentalHealthSupport,depressed for no reason,listener_1,2,"Hi there, I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling depressed. I have struggled with depression on and off for a long time. What I’ve noticed helps me is prayer, listening to relaxing music, and doing anything that gets my mind off of dwelling on what I can’t change or emotions that I don’t want to feel but kind of just arrive on their own. I lift weights to relief me from the anxiety. I’ve also learned to not be ashamed about what happens inside of me. So I’ve began to openly share with my fam when I start feeling this way. I usually feel it coming, I don’t know if this happens to you but you can feel a change in your surroundings when that depression hits. Well, when this happens I immediately start taking deep breaths as start declaring positive things in my life. I also think about all the gold in my life and this helps me tremendously. I hope some of my experiences help you in some way. Keep your head up you can do this!",0.9726,positive,sympathizing
269,MentalHealthSupport,depressed for no reason,speaker,3,thank you. but why does this happen?,0.1901,positive,questioning
270,MentalHealthSupport,Habits of successful patients with MH,speaker,1,"The habits of successful patients or service users with mental health issues is about making the most what you’ve got in your every day life and taking into consideration of what you want and not what everyone else wants.  These habits could include choosing activities that suit where you are in your life and that suit your personality..  depending if you are an introvert or extrovert..  Prioritising your study habits over friends is a must, you don’t want your studies or work to fail if you are constantly thinking about friends. But have them in mind.  Bunking Groups or disengaging yourself from groups where you are going to feel worse about yourself is definite must. You don’t want be going to places where you would rather watch endless day time tv then turn up.. if you have alternative things to do at home or elsewhere then do it, if you have distance learning or your own studies to do then do that.   Keeping yourself occupied is must but don’t go too overboard, you don’t want to be signing up for that sports club if you are struggling to leave your property.  Do not feel bad about yourself if you haven’t got that much done in the day, even if you have planned to do a load of things and you only get one thing done it doesn’t matter.   Engage yourself with various happening in the day whether it be the news,, what’s happening in entertainment and latest local news.   Have the radio on, listen to music but avoid day time tv shows at all costs  Watch YouTube, you will find lots of life hacks, things that make every day life easier for everyone, habits, routines to learn and try out yourself and things to incorporate in your everyday life.  And remember you have an illness at the end of the day, please take seriously and remember that isn’t black and white.",0.7597,positive,grateful
270,MentalHealthSupport,Habits of successful patients with MH,listener_1,2,"What if I dont watch news/entertainment? Most of the news anymore is rather depressing, misleading, or can spark triggers. Entertainment could mean alot of things. I guess the most I watch on YouTube could acct for this but you added in YouTube as a whole in itself. What would you recommend to substitute news/entertainment? Thank you for your tips, I love them all and can agree with the points made.",0.9486,positive,questioning
270,MentalHealthSupport,Habits of successful patients with MH,listener_2,3,"Hey, AroariaSoy96, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
270,MentalHealthSupport,Habits of successful patients with MH,listener_1,4,Delete,0.0,neutral,angry
270,MentalHealthSupport,Habits of successful patients with MH,listener_1,5,"I can relate to the mundane part for work. I work at a Uni and most of it is drama filled. Instead of ""How are the kids?"" it's ""Omg did you hear that So and So is having ANOTHER baby?! They talk about not having any money and I've been spotting her lunch..."" every day. May I ask how you put those days behind you?",0.0,neutral,questioning
271,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else have this problem?,speaker,1,"I can't STAND the noises my mom makes, all those ""oh UM hi my name is UM \*\*\*\*\*\* I'm from \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* how are you? SMACK it's DISGUSTING, it is worse when she talks high pitched with that FAKE voice she uses",-0.9015,negative,annoyed
271,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else have this problem?,listener_1,2,Get some help yo  See a therapist  Best of luck,0.872,positive,consoling
271,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else have this problem?,speaker,3,"It’s like, YOU ARE AN ADULT CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT",-0.1111,negative,agreeing
272,MentalHealthSupport,Work Ethics and Mental Health,speaker,1,"So, I'm normally on here a lot to support others and occasionally ask for support but today, I woke up in a very very dark place.   After a nightmare I just couldn't think straight and I knew that if I were to be on time at work, I would need to leave in about 10 minutes. Instead of dealing with the stress and pushing through my thoughts (which usually end up in a bin in the darkest parts of my brain while on fire waiting for more fuel to trigger an alarm) I called in. This is my 2nd time this month I've had to call in (first time was due to actual sickness) but I feel like I've been calling in about once a month, maybe twice if it's really bad.   My job is at my local university and they want people to be there most of the time but there are exceptions. I clean for a living and the biggest complaint is- I took this job just for a foot in the door and I honestly dont like a lot of the people I work with. Most of them are either incredibly negative and full of drama or really fake. I'd also say that my supervisor made it clear that if you call off, as long as you have PTO or Comp Time to cover the day- you wont be written up. But.. my mental health is taking a huge toll on me right now. I've taken some measures like change in scenery with traveling to work (I bike), I've even applied for another position that suits my experience more (waiting on a call for an interview as we speak), and tried to remove myself from others that make me uncomfortable. But, nothing is working. I keep going back into a very dark hole. I would say I can manage some of it but, I'm afraid my work ethic is suffering really bad.   I used to never call off but maybe 3 times in a year. Last year I was working (alone as a front desk rep) in a health care office and I called in 5 times and went home early once in a 12 month span. I almost was written up because you are only allowed 6 times to call in. I figured it was the job itself but now I'm thinking its me..   How do I combat this? Have you ever been able to stop calling in due to a mental illness? If so, how? Was it a job change or just simply seeking help from your HR or OEO office? Anything would be helpful. I'd like to think my work ethic is really good except my current attendance. Thank you for your help, anything is much appreciated.",-0.8786,negative,terrified
272,MentalHealthSupport,Work Ethics and Mental Health,listener_1,2,"The issue is definitely with your jobs. Six sick days over the course of a year is unreasonably strict even for neurotypical people, let alone those of us with disabilities. If you’re having a bad brain day and calling in puts you at risk of losing your job, the added stress is going to compound your already-frazzled mind. I’m not sure what country you’re in, but reasonable accommodation is something you’re completely entitled to ask for. It sounds like this job isn’t exactly amenable to that sort of thing, though, and working around unhappy people isn’t going to do you any favors. Good on you for seeking out other jobs; that sounds like the best thing you could do in this situation. The interim sucks, but try to keep in mind that things won’t be like this forever and you’re completely within your rights to take sick days. Time off isn’t a sin, and rest is necessary. Especially for folks like us.   You’re doing great :)",0.9451,positive,agreeing
272,MentalHealthSupport,Work Ethics and Mental Health,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your input! I really appreciate it! I'm in CO, USA. And I've ventured to OEO once but they made me feel a little uncomfortable. They wanted me to explain my illness including diagnosis, triggers, etc. I asked if it could be written out by my counselor and drs and they said yes but wanted me to also explain it. I'm sure it was to get a better understanding of my accommodations and if they are reasonable for the university's needs. But I still didnt like being put in that situation. The 6 occurrences was from a corporate hospital, we all know Corp anything is brutal to their workers but it was something I was very good at.",0.4844,positive,trusting
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,1,"I've ways told myself that I'll be dead by now. Before taking my exams. And I haven't studied for them. I can pass them, but why bother. I feel like I'll fail. My damn eating disorder has been taking all my time, I've been eating and puking all day for one whole year instead of studying. And the only thing that's keeping me alive is my obsession for my weight.  I'm a big big failure and I don't even care about what I'll do in the future. I should have been dead by now. And now I'm scared. It's 2am and I'm crying, distracting myself with movies.  What do I do? I could take the exams in August, or next year, but my mom would kill me for it, and all I need now is her saying that I'm a failure. As soon as she said those words I'm drowning.  In case it matters, I don't love anyone. I've pushed everyone away. I don't have hobbies. I don't have anything.   I'm so sorry if this is the wrong sub and I'll delete this post, just tell me to.",-0.9968,negative,ashamed
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_1,2,Please don't.  We care.,-0.0844,negative,sympathizing
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_2,3,Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255,-0.6705,negative,apprehensive
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,4,"The smallest thing..I can't even think of it. Maybe cleaning my room would make me feel a little bit better, but it won't get rid of anything.  I don't know either. I tried 3 or 4 times to kill myself.   I'll consider calling a hotline. And thanks for the first paragraph. Take care as well",0.62,positive,guilty
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,5,"It’s tough to see a path when everything is so dark. There is usually a way but we just can’t see it. Then when it’s obvious it seems impossible, even tidying up is a giant task. The thought of all of my current problems is daunting.   Can you see a smaller task? Can you put one piece of trash in the bin or one article of clothing in the hamper? Is that possible? I find for me if I can get any one thing done the second is easier. It’s like each step is shorter, unfortunately the first one seems 15 foot high.   I don’t kill myself and have made it because of my family. I have 2 attempts myself. I read the suicide bereavement sub daily. My disease can convince me that no one will care that much, it won’t be too bad. It’s nonsense, it’ll crush so many people. Survivors talk about not being able to eat, blame and guilt; it’s unfathomable to them. I can’t do it to my people. It’s amazing how distant the relationships seem where people are broken after. This is my easy pocket motivation, I just care about them and I can always get to a point where it is worth me carrying the pain than passing it over to everyone else.   Is there something you want to do in life?",-0.9517,negative,anxious
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,6,"I wanted to be a teacher, that sounded fun.  At this point I don't care about my family. My dad,s an alcoholic, my mom and brother are fine, but I've distanced myself so much from them that I don't really care anymore.  I also changed my bed sheet, took the garbage out and swept the floor.   I'm sorry that you went through this as well. I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what to say, but I'm glad you're doing much better now.",0.586,positive,sympathizing
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_4,7,"If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.  **US:**  Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741  **Non-US:**  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)    ---    ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^bot.  ^^Feedback ^^appreciated.",0.2297,positive,apprehensive
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,8,"What kind of teacher?  How does it feel to have done something?  You did a lot!  Do you have friends, a pet, some person you see regularly that likes you (you don’t necessarily have to like them)? I’m hoping you find an anchor to hold yourself in the storm. Maybe yours is internal. You don’t have to figure it out today. I know, for me, it mattered so much to have that and I want it for you too. A  Fuck this disorder(s). What a horrible thing to carry. Not even wanting yourself around. It’s so damaging and a heavy weight to carry.",-0.3763,negative,questioning
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,9,"A preschool teacher, or a math teacher (but for middle school). Small kids are cute  Feels fine. Everything is a mess, but at least my room is clean huh   Unfortunately, I pushed all my friends away (my ed made me irritated around everyone). I do have a cat, not sure where she is (I live in a village, she usually goes wherever she wants to)",0.2748,positive,annoyed
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,10,You have a kind heart. When you mentioned exams is that what it’s for?,0.8225,positive,questioning
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,11,"Well, in Romania, after finishing highschool, we have to take 3 exams. It depends on what we study (I studied math, info, physics, biology. Other subjects as well, but they were there for general knowledge). So my exams are : my mother language, math and biology. And if I do more than 60% I pass and get a diploma that will help me get jobs easier. And I need to pass if I want to go to college, and need more than 60% :)) my grades are fine, I could get at least 90% since they're easy, but I can't bring myself to study. And I have one more week plus whatever is left of this week until I take them",0.9418,positive,hopeful
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,12,You can push them to August? You think you’re mom would be upset about it? Would pushing them back help? What do “my mom would kill me” realistically look like?  I don’t see the harm but parents can be nuts. They don’t see our struggle and want to see us I am unrealistic light.,-0.8661,negative,apprehensive
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,13,"I can, but if I'd study now I'd be fine. We had some mock exams made by our teachers, math was 70%, Romanian 80%. And I didn't really study for them. Biology was around 42% and I really didn't study anything :))   Mom thinks I'll go out of the country and work in England, like other people do. Because I decided where I wanted to go for college in the past few months and because I've been slacking off. But I don't know what she would do about it. The way she always asked me if I actually want to go to college and not just run away to some other country just made me lose all interest in school.",0.3919,positive,disappointed
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,14,You do you. Do it for you. Your reasons. On your schedule. If you have to wait a month it’s ok. If you have to wait a year it’s ok. Maybe getting other things in order first is smart. I wish I had. My parents wouldn’t have been supportive but I would have been better. There may be consequences to the relationships but getting a little handle on the mental illness will pay dividends. What happens if you were to do that?  I’m going to go to work. I will get back to you later.,0.4588,positive,suggesting
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,speaker,15,"Thanks for your time, I really appreciate it.   I'm not sure what would happen, I have to think about it.",0.6035,positive,acknowledging
273,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared I'll kill myself in less than a week,listener_3,16,Did you come up with any ideas on what might happen?,0.0,neutral,questioning
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,speaker,1,Ok. New here. No idea what's going on lol Looking for documentary film makers or advocates for the mentally ill.,-0.29600000000000004,negative,afraid
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,listener_1,2,You're not in the correct subreddit if you're looking for film makers or advocates for the mentally ill. This subreddit is here to provide support for those living with emotional and behavioral problems.,-0.29600000000000004,negative,embarrassed
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,listener_2,3,Very nice reply.  Thanks.,0.7397,positive,acknowledging
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,speaker,4,"I need that, too...Just thought I'd throw that out there. #ThanksThough #DontBeADick",0.0,neutral,grateful
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,listener_1,5,I can't tell if you're being sarcastic but you're welcome.,0.5423,positive,neutral
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,listener_2,6,Not being sarcastic!,0.2575,positive,ashamed
274,MentalHealthSupport,STOP TREATING THE MENTALLY ILL LIKE CRIMINALS!,listener_1,7,"Okay, goo.d",0.2263,positive,consoling
275,MentalHealthSupport,Let Me Introduce Myself,speaker,1," My name is, let's say, ""Caty"".  I'm a 31 year old, female, who has gone through the struggle of having anxiety and insomnia my entire life, even when I didn't know I had it.  Here in my ""later"" years, my anxiety has gotten a lot worse.  Probably starting in 2014 is when it started getting worse.  Then in 2017 and 2018, I hit a really high peak with it.  I finally put myself back in with a psychiatrist and a counselor, even though I wasn't so keen on that idea due to past experiences.   I've always had issues with Insomnia.  When I was a kid, my parents would get mad because I would constantly get out of bed saying that I couldn't sleep.  Well, of course they didn't believe me.  They just thought that I DIDN'T want to go to sleep.  I still deal with this as a 31 year old.  I've done better with medication adjustments (although, I was also pretty hesitant about taking medicines again as well).  But there are still times where I won't sleep at all, and this can be one night, or multiple nights.   Again, I've apparently always had issues with anxiety.  Looking back through old medical records, and speaking with my psychiatrist and counselor, I had anxiety as a child, and as a teenager.  It's just happened to get worse the older I've gotten.  So, back to reluctantly going to see a psychiatrist for medicines and a counselor.  Where I've had to take medications all of my life (one, due to ADHD/ADD, as well as my mother having me in and out of the doctor every chance.), I really didn't want to have to go through this again.  I knew they were going to want to put me on a bunch of medications that were just going to make one symptom or another (I also deal with depression as a result of the insomnia and anxiety).  As for the counselor, I've had so many experiences with those types of counselors that would ""yeah"" and ""uh-huh"" you to death, instead of actually listening.   Well, I finally found a psychiatrist and a counselor that are both amazing!  Just when I had given up on actually finding help for my issues, I finally found two women who are both amazing at what they do.  While I'm still on more medications that I'd like to be at this point in time, I'm also working along side my counselor with the goal of eventually being off of my medications completely, or at least being on as little as possible.  My counselor is the best counselor that I ever could have asked for.  She's so warm, caring, compassionate, and has really go tips and ideas that work for me.   So, now I'm doing great with both fields.  I'm content with my medicine regimen, and counseling is going great, along with my newfound love of meditation.  The things that I was obsessing and being anxious over, were finally settling down, and I was getting to a place where self-care could really be an important focus for me.  One of the things that I would constantly obsess over and worry about, even as a little kid, would be the death of my parents.  I would lay in bed at night, crying because I was afraid I'd wake up and my parents would be dead.  That was one of the things we had been working on in counseling, and I had finally gotten better about it.  During this time, while my anxiety was super bad, I had quit my job with a bank.  It was too stressful having to stress over life, and then stress over my stressful job.  However, I'm so thankful that I did quit when I did.  This gave me a couple of months with my Mom.  Unfortunately, she passed away much sooner than I had expected in April of this year.  If there's any type of major setback during counseling for anxiety, this would be one of those events, and it has been.   My heart is broken.  My Mother was my biggest fan, and she was so proud of how I was doing.  I had expected my Mother to pass away in the next few years, not this year.  Yes, I know, we really can't expect or plan for this but to a certain extent, even though I tried.  Now, I feel like have had a huge setback in my progress, which my counselor tells me is a perfectly normal feeling to have right now.  It's so difficult to imagine continuing on with my life without the person who gave birth to me.     What's even more difficult, is that, now it's just me and my, almost 74 year old, Dad.  As well as my boyfriend of almost a year, but that's another story for another time.  So, me and my Dad.  I was always so worried about both of my parents, but especially my Dad.  By the way, for those of you interested, he actually is my ex step-father.  Another story again, but me, him, and my Mother all still lived together until she passed, so now it's just us.  He's been my Dad since I was six months old.  I never had the opportunity to meet my biological Dad (even though I was able to get his ashes; another long story).  Anyway, my Dad had heart surgery in 2011, and that was so terrifying.  I thought I was going to lose him on the operating table.  The factors in this thought, were his age, and his health.  He's smoked almost his entire life, and drank most of mine and then some, even though he pretty much quit after his heart surgery; he has a couple of drinks now and then if we go out to dinner or something of the sort.   So, in the middle of making major progress with self-care, my anxiety, and my insomnia, we've now added back major stressors into my life.  I've lost my Mother at 30 (it happened right before my birthday, of all things), I'm worried about my Dad again due to this; big trigger.  I've also decided to apply for Disability while everything is going on due to being to anxious to even think about working, let alone, still mourning my Mom.   I'll be keeping this blog to help me through recovery.  I hope that anyone who might be reading my blogs, will be helped or inspired by them, and can find solace in the fact that they're not alone.  I want to help change the world, even if it's one person at a time, and I'm hoping that by giving myself a place to go to rant, vent, and just write, that I'll be able to help someone in the process.   I do ask that you keep any comments you may have in a positive manner.  Unnecessary criticism, or remarks are not welcome here.  This is a safe space, and I'd like to keep it that way.   Much love,   ""Caty""",0.994,positive,anxious
275,MentalHealthSupport,Let Me Introduce Myself,listener_1,2,"Hi Caty, thank you for sharing your story. I hope we can be of help to you here.",0.872,positive,consoling
275,MentalHealthSupport,Let Me Introduce Myself,speaker,3,"Thank you very much, I appreciate it!  Hopefully I can be of help to others here as well.",0.9053,positive,encouraging
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,1,I've been in a toxic household all my life my mom specifically is abusive toward me I don't understand the reason maybe its because I'm dyslexic or because my dad is a cheating jerk my mom homeschools me and my siblings but honestly not really she yells every day and in some way shes picked all my few friends shes just overbearing theres a history of mental illnesses in my family and I think  i could possibly have one I just feel isolated I don't understand what's normal    •is it normal see or hear things that feel like there in your head but all around you at the same time? •is it ok for my mom to self diagnose me with OCD when shes not a professional and only has a phd? •do parents normally force you to drink essential oils when you say no to going somewhere? •do they tell you they know more about your body and how its feeling then you ? threaten with the bible electric shock therapy and neurological feedback therapy because 'that'll fix ya'll    theres so much more but those are,-0.5514,negative,afraid
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',listener_1,2,That is not normal.  It sounds like your mother is abusing you.  You need to be evaluated by someone who is not her or one of her friends.,0.3818,positive,afraid
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,3,I can't go to any other adult I know because she puts in this good Christian wife act and nobody would believe she wasn't nice,0.26,positive,trusting
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',listener_1,4,"Do you have access to a phone?  There are domestic abuse hotlines that will get you in touch with someone in another town.  Threatening suicide will get you a 3-day hold in a facility, but that relies on being able to convince them that you can't go back home.",-0.6187,negative,questioning
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,5,I do have a phone and I've told CPS about it because my mom pinned me to the bathroom wall and forced my mouth open to make me to drink essential oils because I didn't want to go to youth group but my mom got more toxic when the CPS lady's were there the abuse has stopped a bit but its not gone and I can't forget or forgive her and I have a really really big fear of mental hospitals and I don't think I could cope with going to one because I'd miss my pets and my family would probably tell everyone and I can't deal with the stigma I had to deal with it all my childhood because my mom diagnosed me with OCD,-0.9552,negative,terrified
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',listener_1,6,"It's not right that your mom could get more toxic when CPS came and they did nothing.  Stay strong and get out when you can.  Try to go away to school, or sign up for a volunteer opportunity.  Just remember that this is not what a normal and sane parent would do.",0.0253,neutral,faithful
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,7,I try but it's hard sometimes I can't really get away because they only places I'm allowed to go are religious basted and a few of the kids know in queer and hate me for it I try to go to the library but she hates when she doesn't have full control,-0.8885,negative,ashamed
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,8,I'm 15 now I try to write stuff down it gets hard because after a little while my brain wont let me rember at all and it gets tough hiding my note book my dad keeps saying we'll move out but its expensive I've just excepted that I'll save up and move out at 18,0.5023,positive,sentimental
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',listener_2,9,"Hey, crazytoothbrushrat, just a quick heads-up:   **rember** is actually spelled **remember**. You can remember it by **-mem- in the middle**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,10,ill try but I don't see new people who haven't met my mom thanks for being supportive <3 but what's ' snail mail ' please and thank you,0.899,positive,sympathizing
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,11,That's a really lovely name for it !! theres a post office within a little more than walking distance need my house between the library!,0.7157,positive,acknowledging
276,MentalHealthSupport,I don't understand what's 'normal ',speaker,12,hello !! I'm kinda scared to because I don't know how much they can do but I hope to make a friend there and if they are cool with it let me stay over some nights to get away from it I just don't want to place lots of stress or pressure on people I trust,0.8590000000000001,positive,apprehensive
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,speaker,1,"Anything physical, grounding, any ideas of what's worked for you best",0.6369,positive,questioning
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,listener_1,2,If your mind starts to wonder tell yourself “I’m focusing on this right now.” And take a few deep breaths and do a mini or five senses game,0.0,neutral,suggesting
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,speaker,3,"That sounds good, what Mini or 5 senses game do you mean ?",0.4404,positive,questioning
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,listener_1,4,"Like look around and see 5 different things, feel 4 different things, hear 3 different things, smell two different things, and hear one thing. Or more than that",0.3612,positive,afraid
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,speaker,5,"Def understand pinpointing the anxiety, was just curious of what ppl do to calm when faced with general anxiety",0.29600000000000004,positive,neutral
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,speaker,6,"I do this, but usually end up browsing reddit cozy places.",0.0,neutral,neutral
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,listener_2,7,"For the people messaging me asking me for my list:  *Leap year by Maria Taylor  Settle down by The 1975  *Not enough drugs (acoustic) by Curtis Peoples, Marie Digby  Blank space/Style (ft. Devon Dawson) by Louisa Wendorff  The ladder by Andrew Belle  Let go by Frou Frou  What would I do without you by Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors  *Colors - stripped by Halsey  *Swingset chain by Loquat  Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez  Suitcase full of sparks by Gregory Alan Isakov  Bluesy one by Kalai  I formed this list based on songs that bring me to a good mental space. Some of them might sound sad to you, but I have memories tied to them that make me smile. You might hate them, you might like them, but maybe they will help someone out there.   All the best!  -CHL  (Starred songs are the ones that I listen to the most.)",0.8999,positive,nostalgic
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,listener_3,8,Can you share the songs? I believe music definitely has a lot of power,0.5994,positive,agreeing
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,speaker,9,"Pm me them plz, always appreciate new music",0.4588,positive,encouraging
277,MentalHealthSupport,What are some of the ways you self soothe when you're feeling anxiety ?,listener_4,10,"Oh, God. Anything by Gregory Alan Isakov for me.",0.2732,positive,agreeing
278,MentalHealthSupport,If Anyone Could Help Please!!,speaker,1,"Hi, I just really need some support right now, and any conversation or kind words would really help! I recently got out of a mental hospital, and have been dealing with anxiety so bad I can't get out of bed since I was young.  My boyfriend's sister is coming to stay with us for I don't know how long and I feel like I'm about to die. I feel like throwing up, can't get out of bed, I'm shaking, crying, and feel really cold. I really feel like I'm dying.  Any help at all. Please. I'm so sorry to ask, I just don't know where else to turn. I promise I'll return the favor to others who need help.",0.9126,positive,terrified
278,MentalHealthSupport,If Anyone Could Help Please!!,listener_1,2,"It feels really hard now, but it won’t feel this way forever. Do u have any anxiety medication u can take to help?",0.2854,positive,questioning
278,MentalHealthSupport,If Anyone Could Help Please!!,speaker,3,"Thank you. Yeah, I'm in the middle of switching meds right now, and the withdrawals have been difficult. That's probably why this panic attack came on so strong.",-0.1365,negative,agreeing
278,MentalHealthSupport,If Anyone Could Help Please!!,speaker,4,Thanks so much. It really helped. I feel a lot better now.,0.7003,positive,acknowledging
278,MentalHealthSupport,If Anyone Could Help Please!!,speaker,5,You've done more than you know already. Just knowing other people care is more than enough. Thank you so much.,0.7152,positive,grateful
279,MentalHealthSupport,Im at the end. totally,speaker,1,"Wrote the first ~100 words and then accidentally clicked it away. This showed me again what an idiot I am. But I need to get this off my chest before I do anything further. Now here we go again, what brings me close to suicide: Around 2 months ago my girlfriend I was together with for like half a year broke up with me. But it wasn't the ""cool way"". I caught her cheating, and then she broke up with me. I told her if she is sorry and wont do it again we can still be together and that I really love her and would forgive her. That time I was so attached to her, I dont understand it anymore today but thats how things used to be. She just refused and left. Out of nothing... I suffer from PTSD and paranoia, she was there for me in my baddest times. I was dumb for even staying with her. She was never serious, a total fraud. I dont know why she even stayed with me one second... It took me some time and I'm not done processing it yet, but it gets better. Back then I also had an reddit account and gained a lot of support and help which I'm very thankful for. Smoking weed also helps me a lot. It helps me calm down, I'm full with high tense energy all the time and its hard for me to get clear thoughts and I'm very shaky. I usually get the weed from a ""friend"" who was out of town for 3 weeks. The PTSD got worse, and I know weed would be my savior. Without searching for it I found a profile on twitter, yes twitter, from a guy I've known for a long time, not actually in real life but have seen his profile couple of times. It was his personal page where he has real life stuff etc and makes let's plays. And he had a post where he said he is selling weed, you just needed to dm him. The dumb addict I am I would give it a try. I would never buy it that way usually, but I was in a dark hole and didnt had anything on me and my dealer wasnt available ,so I thought okay this guy seems cool whatever cant be that bad and I mean its just weed not heroin or meth. A virtual friend showed me his profile some time ago so he must be cool. I wrote him a dm. He answered pretty fast and I bought weed worth 50$ from him. I let him convince me to pay with a amazon gift card. I'm an idiot I know. But my post traumatic stress was so bad I just said fuck it, he has a lot of real life stuff on his page why would he scam someone over 50$? So I paid, send him the code and gave him my adress. All of that with my REAL LIFE twitter account I wasnt even active anymore at that time but still had a lot of old posts. Couple days later a friend of mine offered me to go watch a movie, I refused and stayed home just to receive my package. It never came and I wasted much time waiting for it... After I didnt receive it after 1 week I asked him a couple of times what happened still fully in trust and believing he was legit. After asking and asking over and over he finally blocked me and I realized I got scammed. I did some research on him and found out he was scamming people on the regular. Sometimes even doxing them, threatening them and stuff like that, when they wanted to go to the police. dont know if you can even call this a person, he is a monster in my opinion.  he also is into cyber bullying. His followers/friends are terrorizing people online. it seems like they do it just for fun Or because their lifes are bad they thing they need to make others bad as well.... I was shocked I couldnt believe what I got myself into. This person has my adress, knows how I look, knows a lot probably since I contacted him with my main twitter. I dont want to and cant go to the police because then I will get fucked for ""buying"" weed. I could seriously lose my job here. I wish so bad I could go back in time... I dont know what that guy is going to do with my infos, but I know I'm in real trouble. I know there is no reason but if he wanted to he could fuck my life up. Just because I was stupid, didnt pay enough attention for one single moment. I felt so bad  I needed the weed, but all for what? I fucking have paranoia but still trusted him. I feel worthless. I just didnt wanted any problems. I was always nice to everybody. Helped others. Went to the shop buying 50$ worth of amazon without even questioning it. I dont wanted to get PTSD, I didnt ask for it. I didnt want to get a whore as a girlfriend who leaves me back in the dirt. Tbh atm I dont even want to life anymore. As if thats not enough I'm also now wasting peoples time on reddit with this long ass Text.When I think of this bastard having a good time with the money I had to work hard for I'm so full of hate. if they or he would read this he'd probably laugh at me for being a pussy and crying on reddit for help. Wants to see me suffer or whatsoever... My reaction seems a bit harsh, I know, but it's really boiling over right now. I'm not a bad person I always tried to get everything right to be a good person and what do I get? Finger up my butthole, every single fucking time. I finna need to stand up for myself, do something bout it.. I can't life in peace anyway. Other people dont want me to. The state making weed illegal dont want me to. My ex gf dont want me to. My boss who is paying me minimum wage dont want me to. Why scum like that even has to exist? My ankles are bleeding, because I punched the fucking wall. Is this what they want? That I become an total asshole like they all are? Okay they can get it.... I just cant go on with my life like this, I've been at this point thousand times , where I was 100% it wont happen again,but it happened again and again. People shitting on me. In real life and since recently even online. In a world fucked up like this with PTSD and paranoia I simply cant survive being the person I am right now. Dont know if hate/revenge is the answer. I dont want to go to jail, but I mean my life gets more fucked up everyday. Before I die by cancer (yes I have cancer, its no joke.  I'm psychologically and physically very ill), something needs to change. I just want to be happy. But I'm miles away. I wish no human being has to experience this feelings. Where my life is so bad now I realized that there were always people like me before, right now there are so many humans crying, at the edge of suicide, (every half minute someone kills himself!!), feeling helpless and being treated not fair, it really makes me sad. I dont see any of it but I know for a fact its there ...",-0.9992,negative,ashamed
279,MentalHealthSupport,Im at the end. totally,listener_1,2,"First take a breath. Try to calm down. I see no one has responded to you yet, which is unfortunate but I'd like to try and help you. Are you still there?",0.705,positive,questioning
279,MentalHealthSupport,Im at the end. totally,speaker,3,"Hey, yes I'm still here. Already calmed down a bit",0.6486,positive,acknowledging
279,MentalHealthSupport,Im at the end. totally,speaker,4,"Thank you so much for taking your time and answering and giving me a view from your perspective. I thought about it while I was offline and read it again and now it all doesnt seem that bad anymore, even these are all facts I wrote down and nothing on the facts has changed. Still lost my gf still got scammed by some shady guy. Only my brain producing different chemicals know that make me think a bit different, not much, but its not that panic attack feeling anymore. But you're right, the best I can do is just forget it and learn from it. Not a nice thing but its the best for me. I'm going into therapy for my cancer and for my mental health problems soon. I just need to dont fuck things up any more till then and I'll be hopefully fine.",0.9534,positive,grateful
279,MentalHealthSupport,Im at the end. totally,listener_1,5,"Okay good. Read your other comment too. Just try to come to terms with the fact you are human and will make mistakes. Probably forever, no matter how old you get. I've accepted this so every ""fuck up"" I have now is just me having to accept a mistake and lesson learned. You can't be perfect. You can only be the best at being you. Sorry if I sound like a dumb motivational poster, but it is true. Don't be so hard on yourself please. :)",0.851,positive,agreeing
280,MentalHealthSupport,Constant Irritation,speaker,1,"I get irritated so easily and I’m sick of it. It’s the kind of irritation that makes a lump in my throat and makes me angry that I’m angry, if that makes sense. It tends to happen when there’s constant noise or stimuli, like if my mom talks nonstop or when my dad keeps on humming and tapping his foot. I usually try to wear earphones to block out the noise, but I still hate how that irritation ruins my whole day. I don’t know what to do about it.",-0.9692,negative,annoyed
280,MentalHealthSupport,Constant Irritation,listener_1,2,I’m glad you mentioned this because literally i’m going through that too. I just get irritated over minor things and it makes me upset that i get upset so easily and it ruins my whole day! :(,-0.8007,negative,agreeing
280,MentalHealthSupport,Constant Irritation,speaker,3,"Glad to know someone relates, but sad cause it sucks to feel like this. Wish you the best, and good luck to both of us :)",0.9669,positive,wishing
280,MentalHealthSupport,Constant Irritation,listener_2,4,Same. I'm going through it right now actually,0.0,neutral,agreeing
281,MentalHealthSupport,How do I support someone through a mental health crisis when I'm struggling to hold myself together?,speaker,1,"My boyfriend suffers from depression. He has done since before I met him, he once tried to kill himself, but since we've been together it's never really been a problem until now. Today he had a break down and was talking about suicide again.   I've always suffered from 'mild' anxiety and depression, I've never been suicidal but every day is a battle for me.  I feel like I'm just not strong enough, mentally, to be what he needs right now. Every time I mention finding professional help he gets defensive and says it's not just him that needs help and brings up my issues as well. I completely understand how hard it is to admit to needing help, let alone actively doing something about it.  A few years ago I lost a good friend to depression because I wasn't strong enough to be what she needed. Allowing that to happen again is not an option but I just don't know how to move forward here. What can I do? Any advice?",-0.954,negative,ashamed
281,MentalHealthSupport,How do I support someone through a mental health crisis when I'm struggling to hold myself together?,listener_1,2,>A few years ago I lost a good friend to depression because I wasn't strong enough to be what she needed.  What does this mean?,-0.3822,negative,sad
281,MentalHealthSupport,How do I support someone through a mental health crisis when I'm struggling to hold myself together?,speaker,3,"Sorry, that was a confusing/ dramatic way too put it.  At the time I didn't realise how bad the situation was and I didn't recognise his cries for help because I was focusing on myself and my own problems. He eventually got the help he needed but decided to completely cut me out his life because I hadn't been there for him when he needed me most.",-0.0735,negative,ashamed
281,MentalHealthSupport,How do I support someone through a mental health crisis when I'm struggling to hold myself together?,listener_1,4,"I hope you realize that he is the bad friend in that situation and not you. You're not responsible for recognizing and treating your friend's health problems, especially ones that are as difficult to notice as depression.",-0.8054,negative,consoling
281,MentalHealthSupport,How do I support someone through a mental health crisis when I'm struggling to hold myself together?,listener_1,5,I hope you realize that he is the bad friend in that situation and not you.,0.3818,positive,consoling
282,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Lost,speaker,1,"The past 3 or 4 years I've been feeling pretty lost, and I really dont know what to do. I'm slowly getting my life back on track by finishing Highschool, have a job, trying to save money, and losing weight that I've collected over the years. But now that I'm almost a grownup, I find myself lost on what to do next. All the friends and families I've met and or grew up with (including my own) have started to seem useless. And anytime I think about what it is that I wanna do next, I always end up in the same 2 places, either joing the military or just leaving without saying anything and starting over. The one thing that they have in common is me starting over, and it's the only thing that seems to excite me. I dont know if it's my past with depression that's lead me here, or if it's just my lack of being able to fit in. And I figured that a good way to kick off my experience with reddit would be by asking for help. Any ideas?",0.743,positive,lonely
282,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Lost,listener_1,2,After high school I got a job across the country at a national park. Typically the park contracts 3rd parties to hire and run the daily hospitality operations.  Housing was provided as were discounts at the tourist filled cafeterias.  Hope this helps.,0.8225,positive,trusting
282,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Lost,speaker,3,"I'll check it out, any requirements needed?",0.0,neutral,questioning
282,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Lost,speaker,4,"Cool, thank you. I didnt think of it but it actually sounds nice.",0.7269,positive,acknowledging
283,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid anxiety 🙁,speaker,1,"Never used to be anxious, depressed or unhappy but a 10 year relationship ended last year (she cheated and blamed it all in me) and part of me trying to get over it I signed up to some local hiking groups (started to do this alone and found I enjoyed it)....  Finally had courage to tick the 'Im going box'. Even set an alarm and woke up in time to get to the place at the correct time ...  But then I had a huge meltdown, started getting panicky, upset and scared and didn't go. 🙁",-0.9403,negative,ashamed
283,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid anxiety 🙁,listener_1,2,"Be gentle with yourself and don’t beat yourself up. When dealing with severe anxiety, I find that it is important to take baby steps and reward yourself for making whatever progress you do, no matter how small. This can help you feel slightly more confident in taking the next step. It is a big deal that you even looked for and signed up for the hiking group...don’t beat yourself up for not going...anxiety can be crippling. Take pride in the fact that you are much closer to your goal than before and keep trying again.  A few years ago, I was hurt pretty deeply by two of my trusted friends...and since then my anxiety has shot through the roof and I feel like a completely different person. I have been working hard to challenge myself to grow and build confidence again slowly...it hasn’t been easy nor smooth but I recognize there is improvement over the past 2 years. I believe you can do this too. I have faith in you. Keep trying and be compassionate with yourself. You aren’t operating at your usual 100% and that is okay...you can get there",0.9763,positive,proud
283,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid anxiety 🙁,speaker,3,Thank you so much for this. It helped! I hope you are doing better these days. Sorry to hear about the crap your close friends put you through,0.8313,positive,sympathizing
284,MentalHealthSupport,Last week I had a breakdown on the job- in front of my entire staff,speaker,1,"My sister, who suffers from schizophrenia (and has been out of hospital for 4 months) is practically in a zombie state.   My brother is about to have stem cell replacement - guess all this news is catching up to me.    I love my job but it’s demanding.   The past month we have been traveling - lots of flight delays and one morning we were on the tarmac for 4 hours!    The real problem is my  feeling Guilty because After a visit with my sister  I find myself in a dark place.    Any advice on how I can balance this out ?  Take care of my sister ?   I can’t help my brother yet-  he will need help after he gets out of hospital , where he’ll be quarantined.  I just need advice oh how i can be strong for them.  As for my job,  I’m sure my boss is thinking  I can’t handle the pressure -  he kind of made a comment that I’m going crazy - I really don’t like that word.     I briefly explained my crying was not work related - but it doesn’t matter -  a woman crying for most employers is a sign of weakness.   Anyway  I just had to get this off my chest.   I’m grateful that I can help my family  I just know that I can’t let myself get run down and sick.     I have my responsibilities.  Thank you for your time",0.6619,positive,sad
284,MentalHealthSupport,Last week I had a breakdown on the job- in front of my entire staff,listener_1,2,"My only advice would be to remember to take time for yourself.   My mother has a lot to handle herself. She has me and my brother. I’m depressed, have anxiety and I also have ASD (and while it’s high functioning, it still does have a heavy impact on my life). My brother has A Lot of anger issues, has plenty of learning difficulties and is being tested for like... the fourth time for ASD (I think fourth; don’t quote me on it). While she isn’t really involved with the workings of my brain (if she was, she’d have put be back into therapy a long time ago), she obviously still is aware of many of my issues. This is also all on top of work stress (we are hotel cleaners, not a very easy job. Particularly in this heat haha), stress with her parents, and stress with other extenuating factors. What she has to deal with is no where near as stressful as what you’re currently dealing with. I mean yes all stress is valid and all that, but still. When we had a family therapist (good lord that was a nightmare), she told my mother to make sure to take time for herself. This was to give her a minutes rest and to give her time to de-stress and whatnot. We were given the same advice over and over for those big exams last year, and the mocks we’ve had this year, and my old therapist told me similar, so it’s Important.   It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. And it isn’t always easy to do, no. And sometimes it feels like there’s absolutely no time to do that at all. But there is. Whether it’s a long bath/shower with some Fancy Products or a walk (mother likes to walk dogs), or whatever. It doesn’t have to be some crazy shit like yoga. It’s whatever you make it.   Other than that, I have no real advice. I wish you well though.",0.8663,positive,caring
284,MentalHealthSupport,Last week I had a breakdown on the job- in front of my entire staff,speaker,3,Thank you for sharing.    I almost feel this morning and almost hit my head.  That’s that  I’m resting today and will treat myself for a hair cut  Found out it’s been two years since I had one 🙄  Anyway almost falling was a wake up call.  I wish you and your family well !   I wanted to start a cleaning business... I’m really good at cleaning other people’s places :-),0.9346,positive,grateful
284,MentalHealthSupport,Last week I had a breakdown on the job- in front of my entire staff,speaker,4,Hello Thank you for reminding me about NAMI... I did got to a meeting a last year.  I’m going to reach out to them.   Thank you for your kind words.   It’s my older sister and she helped raise us She’s one beautiful soul.  I was thinking to have her come live w me and my son but he is having a hard time seeing her sick.  I was in therapy at the time and my therapist strongly advised against me having her come and live w us.   Monday I will go to a NAMI office for help. Thanks again for mentioning them!,0.8883,positive,caring
284,MentalHealthSupport,Last week I had a breakdown on the job- in front of my entire staff,speaker,5,Thank you for listening.  Someone reminded me of NAMI  I’m going to go back there for support and help.  🙏,0.7845,positive,grateful
285,MentalHealthSupport,Find Help!!,speaker,1,"Heeey. I just wanted to remind you that help is real and valid. :) I’ve been having a hard time accepting that I need help and that has cost me a lot to the point of damaging permanently my physical health. It’s never too late. On Monday I will be entering to this mental health clinic and even though I’m having really mixed feelings on accepting it, I am so grateful. Recovering from a mental disorder is not linear. I’ve already stayed at clinics and I thought that one time would be enough for me to feel happy. And I did for a really long time but my surroundings changed, mi issues also did and I fell off track. Anyway, you don’t have to be perfect, it’s okay to fall, it’s okay to feel like a mess but most importantly it’s okay to receive and look for help. I know it’s really scary for different motives but it’s so worth it. ❤️❤️",0.9745,positive,grateful
285,MentalHealthSupport,Find Help!!,listener_1,2,"I love the positivity and importance of this message!  I'm glad that you are seeking help if you feel that you need it, and I'm glad that you can let others know that it's okay to find help as well.  ​  Good luck in your journey!",0.9832,positive,wishing
285,MentalHealthSupport,Find Help!!,speaker,3,thank youu;),0.3612,positive,wishing
285,MentalHealthSupport,Find Help!!,listener_1,4,Anytime :),0.4588,positive,wishing
286,MentalHealthSupport,I think I was with mental illness for years,speaker,1,"From day one of school I've had this some sort of attacks that happened to me when I messed up and it was my fault. I felt dizzy and my muscles got tied and I would think about this stuff and get this attacks for years to come (to this very day) and my mom kept repeating for years that I am over reacting and then she loves making reaction of me and when I am telling her to stop she is always saying ""but you does do it"" and laugh.  After like 5 years of getting this sort lughes and attacks I decided to try and hide my attacks as much as I can from the people and public but slowly I am getting this attacks more and more frequently and I feel like I am sinking. I would like to know what mental illness do I have if at all (I watched some videos and I think I have penics attacks from interacting with strangers) and what should I do with it because I can't seek for help from people I know.",-0.9298,negative,embarrassed
286,MentalHealthSupport,I think I was with mental illness for years,listener_1,2,"Well, nobody here can diagnose you, just based on what you have shared. Get some advice from a mental health professional.All those online-tests are not based on real scientific knowledge and are not a substitute for getting treatment.If I was you, I d look up therapists and scedule a appointment.Just be honest and explain him/her what you are feeling, how you feel not taken seriously by your mom and how it makes it worse because you try hard to hide it. Based on their experience they can actually give you a diagnoses and you can get further treatment from there.I hope this helps.Good luck!",0.8693,positive,questioning
286,MentalHealthSupport,I think I was with mental illness for years,speaker,3,I will tell you on a private chat,0.0,neutral,trusting
287,MentalHealthSupport,I hate my life,speaker,1,all i can think of is hanging myself,0.0,neutral,guilty
287,MentalHealthSupport,I hate my life,listener_1,2,"I’ve been there my friend it’s not a good place to be , pleas don’t do it , it’s not worth it , once you gone that’s it there’s no coming back get some help call the crisis hotline and talk to them please don’t kill yourself  or even attempt it. I was in a dark place at one point myself , I had put a shotgun to my head and was ready to pull the trigger when two of my kids knocked on my door, they were a godsend I believe it was a way of god telling me “it’s not your time yet my son” and I believe it’s not your time yet either and suicide isn’t the way out life can get better but you have to be willing to get some help.",0.4614,positive,afraid
287,MentalHealthSupport,I hate my life,speaker,3,Thank you for this. It means a lot to me.,0.3612,positive,grateful
287,MentalHealthSupport,I hate my life,listener_1,4,Your very welcome,0.5095,positive,sympathizing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,speaker,1,"Since months Im feeling bad. There is always something in my head that terrorizes me. I feel like its getting worse every week, when I remember back to my ""old problems"". I wish I had them now. I was in a dark hole, clouded by darkness. In that situation I brought myself into more problems because I didnt care about anything I just wanted to feel better. For my old problems there was no proof, they were all in my head. But now, as always, it feels like I'm in real trouble. Ok its not good but my illness is making it pure hell. It ruins my whole vacation because I can think about nothing else. When I try to distract myself I cant concentrate on it. Im so paranoid. Always think everyone wants the worst for me. Not everyone, but everyone I dont know. A friend of mine died a couple months ago and someone stole my purse with 300$ and all my data 2 weeks ago.  If youre reading this, I dont expect you to solve all my problems I know I need professional help so I can handle the problems like a normal person and not with this brain terror. But anything helps, every answer is well appreciated! Thanks for listening.",-0.9882,negative,nostalgic
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,listener_1,2,"It sounds like you're really having a tough time, and I hope that things start getting better for you soon.  I too, have wanted to have my ""old problems"" back, as the current ones seem harder, but hindsight, ya know?  The fact that you know that your issues are a bit worse now and that you need professional help is definitely a step in the right direction, but I urge you to really follow through with that.  I was so resistant, that I made myself worse by doing so.  Sometimes, I think it's our mind out to get us, not other people.  I'm also to sorry to hear about your friend's passing and you being stolen from.  People these days can be just plain trash, and I'm sorry you're having to endure that at a difficult time.  Just remember, there are people that care (such as myself), and that you can get through anything if you make the effort :)  ​  Good luck with everything, and much love!",0.9433,positive,agreeing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,speaker,3,"Thanks! Yes youre right. I mean I cant change anything anyway the best would be just to continue life. Im going to meet a therapist soon, hopefully he can help me.",0.9381,positive,agreeing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,listener_1,4,"I'm not entirely sure what you mean by you can't change anything anyway, but as far as how you're feeling, you definitely can make that change.  You just have to want it, and it sounds like you do.  I believe in you and that you can help yourself to make your life better  :)",0.9629,positive,agreeing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,speaker,5,"for example that with my purse, its a fact. I can think about it all day it wont change nothing. Only that I have no time to think clear",0.1027,positive,agreeing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,listener_1,6,"Okay, I understand now.  You are correct about that.  It really does suck, but it can't be changed, and constantly thinking about it is only going to drive you more crazy.  I try not to be hypocritical in saying that, as I over-analyze and over-think everything, but it's true.  If I may make a suggestion to try meditation.  There's plenty of meditation apps that you can use for free.  I was resistant to that because I can never focus long enough, but after doing it for awhile and it became more like a routine, it was easier, and I found that it actually helped.  It helped me mentally in two ways.  One, that it helped me learn to focus my attention on something other than negative thoughts, and it helped me learn to deal with my depression and anxiety better.  For me, what I got from it, was actually learning to think more clearly.  For example, it teaches you how to acknowledge random or bad thoughts, and go back to meditating, instead of sitting on the thought.",0.6726,positive,agreeing
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,speaker,7,Im going to try that out thanks!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
288,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me,listener_1,8,"Glad to hear it, hope that it helps! :)",0.8955,positive,encouraging
289,MentalHealthSupport,(20M) Why do I look for my own flaws?,speaker,1,"I cant take photos of myself or put effort into my appearance without looking at them for minutes even hours, taking more photos, looking in different mirrors, until I don’t like one then it will ruin my day and make me cancel my plans n get me really depressed. What is this and how do I beat it? Don’t use social media at all so it’s not like I’m posting the photos. 20M",-0.8507,negative,sad
289,MentalHealthSupport,(20M) Why do I look for my own flaws?,listener_1,2,"I do the same thing. For me, it’s due to events in my past that I’ve carried for way too long, and now I don’t know HOW to let hem go. I was instilled with this attitude that I was to portray perfection or nothing.   The handful of photos I actually display are ones taken at a friends wedding or something, so I’m not the person taking them. Every time I take one myself, I also pick out all the flaws and end up disgusted and frustrated by the time everything is through.    Unfortunately I don’t have any advice, but I’m right there with you. You aren’t alone.",-0.4939,negative,ashamed
289,MentalHealthSupport,(20M) Why do I look for my own flaws?,speaker,3,"Thank you for this reply, if I find the answer, you’ll be the first to know friend",0.6908,positive,wishing
290,MentalHealthSupport,My abusive father is destroying me,speaker,1,"So I am 16 and I go to a boarding school at the moment. I was expelled from my last boarding school and had to live at home for a year.  I would say that I was fairly popular at my old boarding school, and I was never really at home much and went out to parties and stuff on the weekends when I was home. After I got expelled, I had to live at home for a year. And i think living with my dad, destroyed me in ways I cant explain. My dad was always a bully and he had abused me physically and mentally since I was about 4. I remember running away from him on my moms birthday after I did something wrong. I ran and he caught me, threw me to the ground , smacked and  kicked me sevral times. This kind of stuff happend all the time. He would punch me, drag me or smack me. Since I can remember he would allways critisize me. My looks, my body, my character. I am not a very aggresive person and I have never really gotten angry at anyone the same way as him. As soon as I got mad at him for telling me to loose weight (I am not fat at all) He would tell me not to disrespect him and he  would say that i am aggresive and horrible. I have suffered from Depression for several years now and when I lived with him it got even worse. He wouldnt stop telling me that I am worthless, disgusting and that no one wants me. He once told me that I am pathetic and ugly and I should just kill myself already. He says I deserve to be beaten daily and that my husband will probably just cheat on me and hit me, because i am so horrible. He says I am a slut and will end up on the streets. Even tho my grades are above average, he says that I am lazy. He destroys ever inch of self esteem I have left. Now that I am in a new boarding school, some of my friends asked me why I have such a low self esteem. I never really noticed. I just hate what I see in the mirror. I see what he tells me",-0.9966,negative,lonely
291,MentalHealthSupport,"Completely isolated myself, should I seek professional help?",speaker,1,"Trigger warnings: abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse. Im sorry   I’ve had a pretty rough past, I have abusive parents, both mentally and physically. I came from a home schooled setting and when I started to attend private school, I got bullied, sexually abused in the comfort rooms, and just the most crazy, disgusting, and manipulative things you could think of in highschool.. that probably happened to me.  And maybe because of that I developed an irrational fear that if I stayed in a place/school for too long, something really bad is going to happen, and most of the time it does.  I’ve moved several times, for that I couldn’t keep any friendships I had over the years, and I just find it so so so hard to reply to anyone who reaches out to me, or if I do ever find myself talking to them, I just couldnt keep the conversation up, and I’ll do something else.   I also find it hard to express myself, some things I want to express, I say differently than what I really was expecting in my head. I really don’t want to diagnose myself, cause I know how dangerous that could be, but every time I feel the slightest bit of panic, every time I start to feel anxious about something, I lash out at everyone, and for that I’ve started to ruin the only serious relationship I had with someone, and the only person I have in my life right now — my boyfriend. Could these reactions be triggers of some kind? Or am I just really a rude, cold hearted person as they make me out to be? I don’t want to make excuses for my bad behaviours, but I know I’m not that person.  I grew up in an abusive family, and maybe subconsciously I am emulating what I saw as a child, maybe shouting, anger, lashing out, is love, maybe jealousy, insecurities, is caring for each other in my head. I really hope that is not the case.  I know I have a lot of scars, I have yet to heal, I don’t want to lose the only person I could confide in — my boyfriend, so I decided to seek help finally, but I am just so scared to do so. Would I be taken seriously? Do my feelings really even matter? Am I really suffering from a mental illness of some kind? Would I just waste a consultants time by showing up and my diagnosis appears to be nothing big of a deal?   Should I still seek for professional help? Or should I just write my thoughts on a journal of some kind (I find it helps stop my cries when im having a breakdown). Help and advice is very much appreciated.",-0.9905,negative,terrified
291,MentalHealthSupport,"Completely isolated myself, should I seek professional help?",listener_1,2,"Dear reddit stranger, you are worthy and deserve to seek professional help. Trauma is real and manifests in ways that at first seem manageable but become overwhelming in an instant. You start to rationalise issues, living patterns, and ways of thinking but they are nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about.   ​  **Yes, seek help.** Yes, journal. It sounds like you have a supportive boyfriend but you need to speak with someone that has experience.  Most people have a natural fear of the unknown. With regards to therapy, most are nervous, skeptical, or downright frightened about starting - you are not alone. Go get the support you need, you are worthy and deserve to live your best life.",0.9748,positive,agreeing
291,MentalHealthSupport,"Completely isolated myself, should I seek professional help?",speaker,3,"I started tearing up when I saw this, I just want to say thank you, I guess I just really need a little bit of validation that I can, and I should do this.  I love my boyfriend however I don’t think he took it very seriously when I told him about this, hence why I found myself on this subreddit asking for someone else’s.   Thank you, I don’t want to hurt the people I love the most any further, and most especially myself, by letting hurt, anger, and pent up frustrations control me and the way I live my life. Thanks for being a good soul :)",0.8078,positive,sentimental
291,MentalHealthSupport,"Completely isolated myself, should I seek professional help?",listener_1,4,"You've got this! I'm proud of your bravery to face your pain head on.  Just remember there are no rules to therapy. *""Would I be taken seriously? Do my feelings really even matter? Am I really suffering from a mental illness of some kind? Would I just waste a consultants time by showing up and my diagnosis appears to be nothing big of a deal?""* Thankfully, we humans are all unique and experience different challenges in life. Your therapist will have zero, nada, nil expectations of you. :)  ​  Speak your truth and face your fears - you are starting a new journey of self help, love, and compassion. I'm excited for you.  ​  Here's a quote that might resonate with you. ""Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin"" Danielle Bernock",0.5167,positive,trusting
291,MentalHealthSupport,"Completely isolated myself, should I seek professional help?",speaker,5,"Thank you so much for the kind words, that completely is going to stick with me :)",0.836,positive,acknowledging
292,MentalHealthSupport,Why am I self destructive,speaker,1,"I ruin everything. I say shit that I shouldn't. I don't know how to just let shit go. I don't think before I do anything. I ruin everything good.   It's like I'm just a destructive tornado that doesn't know how to not fuck shit up. Relationships, jobs, everything I touch turns to shit.",-0.9221,negative,ashamed
292,MentalHealthSupport,Why am I self destructive,listener_1,2,If you keep accepting the thought that you are no good or you destroy everything you touch things will not change. Seek help and start forming wise habits like learning the skill of being silent and self control.  Go to counselling (if its an option)  to find out the root of your destructive behaviour.,-0.6077,negative,devastated
292,MentalHealthSupport,Why am I self destructive,speaker,3,Thank you. I'm in counselling and should really bring it up,0.3612,positive,suggesting
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,speaker,1,"Just needed a place to talk openly....  I'm in a bad relapse of depression. I went to the hospital a few days ago. They didnt keep me because they felt the unit was too ""volatile"" and since I had a safe and supportive environment I would be ok for a bit. Started the process of long term stuff.   The last few days have been.....better and worse. My friends and family are amazing. So supportive and I recognise how lucky I am for that. But all my brain tells me is that I'm a burden. I don't deserve them. They'd be sad for a while if I was gone, but they'd get past it eventually.   Since my hospital visit I've thought about how I would do it and what I would say in a letter I'd leave behind.   I don't know what I'm looking for here honestly. Just trying to distract myself I guess. That's the best I feel I can do right now. Keep up the coping and distractions until I get into counselling and stuff.   Its just like there's a constant battle inside my brain between these two sides of me.   Again I dont know why I'm posting. Just another distraction. I found this sub specifically for it.   That's all I've got for now.....",-0.375,negative,grateful
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,listener_1,2,"i am also here for distraction.  i think all of us with depression and/or anxiety feel like we're a burden, like they'd be better off without us, that we don't deserve them.  and it's such a shame because if you ask the people they will honestly tell you NO.  i guess i've asked my husband so many times he has just drilled the message home.  plus, think of how you feel about other people with mental illness, and if you wouldnt' say they're a burden, it's not true for you either.  ​  i always feel oddly vulnerable after the hospital.  for me, i've almost always gone to an IOP after to continue therapy and structure.  the very first time i went though, no IOP.  i had my father come stay with me.  i needed all the distractions.  be good to yourself.",-0.9049,negative,agreeing
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,speaker,3,"Your husband and my boyfriend are very similar. Its good that we have those supports in place. He's a big part of what keeps me going.   You're also right that we tend to be far kinder to others in similar situations than we are to ourselves. The human brain is weird and frustrating. I can help friends through though times But its so much harder to help myself.    I've got an appointment with my family doctor next week, a follow up with the hospital doctor the week after and they started the process of getting me in a day program, but that could take up to 8 weeks.   Right now I'm colouring and watching Netflix. That and naps tend to be my main distractions these days. What are some of yours?",0.7637,positive,trusting
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,listener_1,4,"i haven't followed anyone before, and i'm not sure what it means, but now i'm following you because we seem to have stuff in common, if that's ok.",-0.1232,negative,neutral
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,listener_1,5,"netflix, painting (art), reddit, and twitter.  really i need a lot more so i'm searching for stuff to do.  my therapist thought maybe an IOP but i'm not so excited about that.  i've liked them in the past, but the last one was so not helpful, i'm not excited anymore.  also i'm trying to walk or do some sort of exercise.  i used to read all the time but i'm having a hard time paying attention.  same with netflix, actually.  i'm currently watching izombie.  i have bad insomnia, so i'm trying not to nap, but also i'm on the manic side, so napping is impossible.  8 weeks is a while.  will you have enough support?  hold on to that boyfriend!  if he's similar to my husband, you have a good one.  being kind to yourself takes a ton of practice, so it's ok if it's still a struggle.  i'm an artist, but i can't color.  i get so anxious with it, like it has to be perfect, like i have to show off that i'm a real artist.  totally not helpful to me, unfortunately.  but painting helps.  sorry this is disjointed.  thanks for responding.  good luck.",0.9509,positive,anxious
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,speaker,6,"Sounds like we do have a lot of similar things. I admire that youre an artist. I can't for the same reason you have trouble with colouring, I need it to be perfect and it never is.   What is an IOP by the way? I meant to ask last time But got distracted.   It for sure sucks you have insomnia. Napping/sleeping is one of my main coping mechanisms. I tend to oversleep though when I'm in the bad zone so that's also not good.   I don't think I'd make it 8 weeks without other things in place honestly. Seeing my main doctor next week for a private referral will hopefully speed up the process even a little.   I've never really followed anyone either honestly, but I think it means getting notifications when they post or something. It does sound like we have a lot in common so if you ever wanted to message on Reddit I'm good with that.",0.8931,positive,jealous
293,MentalHealthSupport,Having a bad day....,listener_1,7,IOP is intensive outpatient.  basically like 6 hours of group therapy a day.  so lovely to meet you.,0.8109,positive,joyful
294,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm going to get counseling, what do I tell her?",speaker,1,"Long story short, I ran away from home and passed out on the side of the road due to heat exposure just after calling and adolescent mental health facility. When they arrived I was paralyzed and EMS took me to the ER. I suffer from anxiety, mood swings and other stuff crappy stuff.  My parents are taking me to a counselor in a week and I am afriad to share with her. I don't want my parents to know some stuff. Like how I have some serious mental stuff going on and I feel ashamed that I ran away. Also, I'm afraid to tell her I was going (and still feel the urge) to call this guy way older than me to hang out which would probably end in sex. I'm not normally like this but lately I've been thinking stupid lately. Should I share this stuff with her? What if she tells my family? How can I not be embarrassed about it all?",-0.7262,negative,apprehensive
294,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm going to get counseling, what do I tell her?",listener_1,2,"She's there to listen to you. She is legally not allowed to share anything that you tell her with your parents (or anyone else) unless you are an immediate danger to yourself or others. In that case, police or EMS, would likely be called.  Your first therapy appointment is generally a series of questions so they can gather your medical history, mental health struggles, goals for therapy, etc.  Therapy can be hard to start, but after seeing many different therapists, I find it easiest to tell them my diagnosed mental illnesses first and then move on to sharing personal details. I personally tell them about my life like it's a story.  Begin with your childhood experiences good and bad, feelings, etc, and move on through there. If you feel you need to talk about your current situation immediately, do that.  Telling them your background helps to build their profile of you and what they can do to help you best.   Most importantly, if you are not comfortable with your therapist after a session or two, go see a new one! It may take a while to find the right fit for you, but it is so worth it.",0.9699,positive,trusting
294,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm going to get counseling, what do I tell her?",speaker,3,"Thanks, that was really informative. I'm 18 so I hope that whatever is said is kept between us two.",0.7251,positive,encouraging
294,MentalHealthSupport,"I'm going to get counseling, what do I tell her?",listener_2,4,"I'm glad it helped! Just remember if you feel worried at anytime, let your therapist know and she can reassure you about confidentially. don't feel embarrassed if you need to keep asking about it, it's all part of building trust. eventually you'll get to a point where you can just talk without fear! good luck",0.7867,positive,wishing
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,1,"Tomorrow I’m starting my treatment with Pfizer’s Pristiq and I wanna know if you guys have any advice that can be useful to me, should I take it before or after breakfast? Things like that; I am aware of the way it works, but it would be very helpful is some other consumer share some experiences with me, thanks in advance.",0.9259,positive,suggesting
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_1,2,"I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:  - [/r/mentalhealth] [Advice on Pristiq?](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/c8vxan/advice_on_pristiq/)   *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))*",0.6966,positive,annoyed
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,3,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_2,4,Did the sleepiness go away eventually?,0.0,neutral,questioning
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,5,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,6,"Hi, it is good I guess, I feel very tired all day long but I feel better, I really think I’m getting better and that excites me, the week I started I got a stomachache (nothing serious) Now the only side effect that I am experiencing is a loss of libido, I talked yesterday with my therapist and he lowered my dosage, hope it helps.",0.9484,positive,joyful
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_3,7,Thanks for your response I hope it continues to go well with you,0.7845,positive,encouraging
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,8,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,9,"Hi, yes for me it took about to weeks to start feeling better, I am on 50mg too and haven’t experienced any side effect that I could consider serious, I was very sleepy the first month and was hard for me to be focused on my job, now I feel so much better, I take my pill every morning at the same time and I feel wonderful now to be honest. Hope this helps  :) (English is not my first language, sorry for my grammar)",0.9761,positive,acknowledging
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_4,10,That’s awesome! Thanks for the response. Your English is great.,0.908,positive,acknowledging
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,11,Two weeks**,0.0,neutral,anticipating
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_5,12,"Hi, hope you're still doing well and improving each and every day! I'm on Day 11 of Pristiq and it's not quite kicking in yet - I sure do hope for some effect out of it. It's a struggle to get going each day. I sleep too long and have to force myself out of bed.  Take care of yourself!",0.9258,positive,encouraging
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,speaker,13,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
295,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts on Pristiq?,listener_6,14,To be honest I can’t remember a single thing from when I was on it. I don’t think it did,0.5106,positive,lonely
296,MentalHealthSupport,On the edge of injuring myself from all the drama I've had these past few weeks.,speaker,1,I tried to post on my country sub Reddit to find affordable places for therapy for mental health and they removed It because apparently I don't have enough karma. I just need help and a friend that Is from Asia or just anyone at this point.,0.7096,positive,angry
296,MentalHealthSupport,On the edge of injuring myself from all the drama I've had these past few weeks.,listener_1,2,"Hi, am not from Asia but we could talk if you'd like to",0.5023,positive,sympathizing
296,MentalHealthSupport,On the edge of injuring myself from all the drama I've had these past few weeks.,speaker,3,I'd love that. Thank you.,0.7717,positive,acknowledging
297,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else frustrated by this?,speaker,1,"So I posted yesterday that I'm in a relapse of my depression. Today was a lot better than yesterday, which is good.   I'm just wondering if anyone else gets frustrated when people/friends say something to the effect of ""oh I understand needing mental health days"" or ""I've been depressed sometimes too""?  Like I get theyre trying to be helpful and relate to me but having life long depression where every day your fighting your own brain is not the same as needing a ""mental health day"".   Yes I'm doing better today, but better here does not mean I'm all good and everything is solved. It means that I'm having a relatively good day where I can stay awake for more than an hour at a time and it doesnt feeling like every waking moment my brain is not telling me to kill myself or how much I suck.   How does everyone else respond to these well meaning ""I get it"" messages when you really feel like they don't? Do you just smile and nod or try to help them truly understand?",0.9436,positive,annoyed
297,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else frustrated by this?,listener_1,2,"I tried to explain to my dad that I was having a mental breakdown. He tried to be relatable and say he gets anxiety and depression sometimes.   I know he meant well, but I got so angry with him that I ran away. It wasn't until I was hooked up to an IV in the ER from a heat stroke that he realized any normal personal would not have done what I did. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to get their attention.",-0.8407,negative,ashamed
297,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else frustrated by this?,speaker,3,"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I don't get why when we tell people ""hey I'm not good"" they don't take us seriously and it takes extreme measures to get the message across. Its pretty messed up in my opinion. It's like we try to communicate how bad we are before it gets that bad to get help, but we don't get the help we need until it gets that bad. Hope youre doing better!",-0.3233,negative,sympathizing
297,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else frustrated by this?,listener_1,4,"Yes, it shouldn't take drastic measures for parents to recognize depression and anxiety.",-0.4019,negative,agreeing
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",speaker,1,"Disclaimer: it’s going to be a long post, please bear with me. In summation: my best friend has been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts her whole life and yesterday she sent me some very worrying messages and I don’t know how to help with her moving countries in two months. Any advice appreciated.   I’m 20 years old, female, I’m in my second year of university and I met Sophia in my first year, when we immediately clicked. On our first meeting Sophie confided in me a lot of the trauma she was dealing with, I knew this was a woman in pain, she didn’t have any close friends and most of the people she’d met had used her naturally trusting nature against her. I’ve always felt very protective of her, she came to this country from abroad and was not very confident in her English, finding it difficult to make friends and distinguishing between people who had her best interests at heart and those who were just using her. Her whole life she’d struggled with depression, coming from a very poor country there was no option of therapy or counselling, very little understanding or tolerance and with her parents working full time she never had anybody to talk to. Moving to the UK to study meant that her mother had to leave her father and come to the UK also to provide enough money for her to live here. She carried a lot of guilt about that, the pressure of being an only child meant that they’d placed all of their hopes and aspirations on her so any time she didn’t achieve perfect grades or work enough hours she would berate herself and call herself ungrateful, unappreciative and unworthy. She has a very deep rooted problem with her self-worth, she constantly compares her pain and suffering to that of people who have it worse than her. She is unable to accept that she is allowed to hurt and cry without feeling guilty about it because people have it worse, but when I tell her this she brushes it off.   For a long time Sophia was improving herself, taking active steps to better her mental health. She quit smoking, started going to the gym, and stopped drinking. As well as these lifestyle changes she also stopped calling herself fat, she began confiding in me more, speaking more openly about her problems and just overall working harder to achieve a sense of happiness. But recently her mental health took a turn for the worst, exam season and then a very tough betrayal from a close friend / romantic interest really knocked her down. Five days ago she showed up at my door shaking, ten minutes into the conversation she began sobbing and had a full scale emotional breakdown, she pulled a bottle of wine and a full packet of cigarettes out of her bag and began smoking and drinking heavily until she passed out. She’s suffered from depressive episodes like this before and I’ve always managed to help see her through them, but this time it’s different.   Last night she sent me some extremely worrying messages. Below I’ve copied and pasted snippets of what she said without my replies just to save some reading time.   [start] I hope you know that I would really do anything for you / And I am a disgusting human being unworthy of you but / And this is stupid to say but / Even if I failed you / I really love you and I would really do everything for you.  I failed you and god Cause god gave me you I know that was god That’s why I still pray sometimes And when I disrespect you and us I disrespect god Who did me so good I feel like I would have died endless times without you these years And I don’t deserve this good thing Because I don’t know what to do with it You don’t want and need someone like me I’m feeling ashamed to say this but it’s true  I can’t  Like I can’t handle this We need to talk -I’m coming back right now No I can’t see you  Not now -(we arrange a date) I’ll see you then You’ll understand soon  And you’ll know. I love you either way  [end]  With the year over, I’ve gone back home to be with my family and she’s stayed in university on her own to work and save money. I’m going to visit her in ten days but I’m so anxious I feel like I should go sooner, but I don’t have the money for the train ticket. Also she said she can’t see me now and then refused to offer further explanation why. Recently, she told me she was struggling with her faith, she couldn’t believe in God anymore and that made her sick with herself. For her birthday I bought her a really big candle because I know she loves them and they have both religious and sentimental value to her, she told me afterwards that in her religion when you pray, you’re supposed to light a candle. But with her lack of faith she hadn’t bought one, but because she had one she’d started praying again. So at least there’s that.   When she came to me that day she kept on saying over and over again about how she didn’t deserve me as a friend and that she felt like she’d failed me, in the texts too she said that over and over again how she’d let me down and disappointed me. No matter how many times I assured her that wasn’t the case, she’d brush it off. I know she’s always grappled with feelings of inferiority but I didn’t realise that this was the case with our friendship, I know now that she looks up to me and she’s told me on multiple occasions that I make her want to be a better person. But I know that I’m also putting pressure on her to be a version of herself that I’m just not sure she’s ready to be yet, I don’t want to pressure her like her parents do. I want to be a friend who she can turn to, I always tell her to leave the people who hurt her in the past and get frustrated when she gives them so many chances when they’re totally undeserving of her forgiveness and generosity. She constantly lends money to men after they’ve used her for sex, believes their lies and promises, lets girls make her feel inferior due to her lack of money and allows people to mock her English and accent. God, it breaks my heart. I know I can come off a bit aggressive when I tell her to stop accepting this behaviour but it frustrates me so much! I really need some advice on how I can help her or adjust my behaviour to make myself more approachable, I feel like if I hadn’t told her so many times to just leave the boys alone then she wouldn’t feel like she’d disappointed me by staying with them. And I know that makes it hard for her to ask me for help because she feels like she’s pissing me off (she is, but I’d still rather be there to help than have her deal with it alone).   I’m really scared about what might happen because in two months she leaves the country to go back home and start planning for her next year, where she’ll be living in another country. I don’t doubt that she’ll do amazing studying abroad next year but she has so little faith in herself, she knows she’s strong enough to get through it but I don’t want her to feel like she’s just barely keeping her head above water for the rest of her university education. She’s told me on many occasions that the “only reason” she doesn’t kill herself is because she doesn’t want to let her parents down, that they’ve sacrificed so much that she couldn’t be so selfish as to throw it all away. I know that she feels like a burden to everybody in her life, she even feels like I’m doing her a favour when we hang out, she can’t fathom that I actually want to spend time with her. It breaks my heart, I don’t know how to communicate with her when she’s so far reserved within herself that she cannot believe the truth of what I’m telling her. After two years she’s finally admitted that she’s got depression and for the first time when I suggested therapy she acceded that it was something she ought to do, but I know that there’s three months until she’ll be attending university and can even think of applying for counselling because there is no option for that in her home country.   Please, any advice in ways I can communicate with her, help her, adapt my behaviour, advice I can give her, anything, would be so appreciated. I’ve tried everything but I feel so heavy handed when I try anything new, like I’m really not helping her at all. These messages and the distance that’s going to come between us makes me so worried for her I just want to be able to help her and make sure she’s okay.",0.9939,positive,trusting
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",listener_1,2,"I’m sorry your friend experiences so much pain and a lot of stress related to that pain has come to rest on your shoulders! However, her problems really are probably quite a ways above your skill level. You need to continue to offer your emotional support in any way you can, including asking her outright if she is thinking about harming herself in any way. If she says that she is, she needs to be directed to professional help ASAP!",-0.8254,negative,caring
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",listener_2,3,"I agree with this, and when you do that her to a therapist, make sure you still stay as close to her as you can and keep her happy. Along with, don't be afraid to lose them. Please, hear this out. If you get them to a professional but they didn't want to go, and they end up becoming distant, don't blame yourself. As long as they are alive, you've done what you needed to do.",0.847,positive,agreeing
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",listener_3,4,"Do you have the numbers of anyone who’s physically close to her? If so, call them and ask them to check on her. You might also be able to call the police and ask them to do a welfare check, but try to make this a last resort as it can be a very trying or even traumatizing experience (still worth it! Sometimes a jolt like that can be a useful wake-up call)  Finding the right medium to reach out to her could help. I find that when I write, I can communicate my intentions much more clearly. Keep in mind that it could be difficult for her to process written information right now, though, so you could try writing out what you want to say ahead of time and practicing a little before calling so it doesn’t feel stilted or uncaring.   Honestly, just reiterating a lot of what you said here would probably be very comforting for her, even if she had a hard time accepting it. Her struggles sound a lot like mine in that during my serious bouts of depression I could not believe anyone would want to spend time with me and that they were always doing me a favor when they were, and that I was letting everyone down. And I also had a close friend/sexual partner disappear from my life while I needed friends most and woof but that was harmful. It’s taken a couple years of intensive work, but one of the absolute most helpful things has been the persistence of my friends and loved ones. They’ve always maintained that they think I’m wonderful, even if they’re tired or frustrated. When I was in crisis, one of the most stressful things was getting a check-in text because I felt like I was failing them by being unwell, but the knowledge that someone was thinking of me and concerned for my wellbeing was one of the chief reasons I never ended up harming myself.   She can get through this. It won’t be easy and progress won’t be linear, but every time she learns how to pick herself back up, she’ll get better at it. And you can help her along the way :)",0.9921,positive,questioning
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",speaker,5,"Your response honestly made me tear up thank you so much for such a thoughtful reply, I really hope that I’ll be able to help her in at least some small way, I’ve bought her a journal with no instructions, I know she loves to write so I’m hoping she’ll be able to use it to practise her poetry or just to jot down anything she’s feeling. I have faith in her recovery and hearing of your own fills me with hope for her improvement. Thank you all for your help.",0.9848,positive,sentimental
298,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m worried my friend may be considering suicide again, any advice appreciated.",listener_3,6,"You are so welcome! These things are hard and we’ve gotta look out for each other, yknow?  And I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you’ve been of tremendous help to her :) you’re an amazing friend and you’re doing great <3",0.9604,positive,acknowledging
299,MentalHealthSupport,23 m keep crying at random,speaker,1,"Hi all,  Im in desperate need for some help. I am a 23 male, have a so of 25 and expecting a beatifull daughter in about 3 months. Still studying and have been woth my wife for 8 years and a couple of months.  Recebtly i started to cry about random things and have a short temper. My wife isnt content with my current state of mind. One moment i can burst in flames and the other i can be such a gentleman.  I have 0 clue what to do at this moment. I am scared of myself and im not shure what ill do to myself. Lately been drinking a lot more alcohol which tempers my moodswings down and atarted smoking again. The hell i even thought about cheating and still have a tinder account.   To make shure i am conpletely haooy about my wife and my future daughter but i cant controll myself at this moment.  Please, my dearest. Help me",0.5399,positive,ashamed
299,MentalHealthSupport,23 m keep crying at random,listener_1,2,You should really speak with your doctor and start seeing a therapist. It's not fair to your wife and unborn baby to have to deal with you in your current state. All you're doing is hurting them and yourself by not already seeking help.,-0.7114,negative,sad
299,MentalHealthSupport,23 m keep crying at random,speaker,3,I feel pretty conflicted about this statement but i see the truth in it. Current planning is making an appointment with the doctor this monday.,0.6187,positive,apprehensive
300,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and drugs,speaker,1,So recently my anxiety has become the worst it’s ever been. I can barely sleep due to how much I’ve been worrying. I’m starting to believe the cause of my excessive anxiety is through my use of marijuana and alcohol. I took a break for a couple of weeks from both and I started to feel a lot better. Then my friends convinced me to smoke weed with them again. And now it’s become the worst it’s ever been. If I quit drinking and smoking will my anxiety go away,-0.7402,negative,anxious
300,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and drugs,listener_1,2,"Only smoke when you want to, not through pressure. That would make me anxious too. They are both depressants - mixed together, they can sometimes be bad for people (as in getting sick while crossfaded/getting anxious/too deep in your head /etc. ) Stick to sobering out, or just doing one of the two occasionally to see how you like it.",-0.8182,negative,agreeing
300,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety and drugs,listener_2,3,I’m glad there are others who go through the same stuff    Y’all are great,0.7964,positive,grateful
301,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with being grossed out by sex?,speaker,1,"So, I'm not sure when it started, but I have been grossed out by sex for several years. It's gotten to the point where I can't even be around people sometimes. This is odd because I'm 18 years old (Female) and don't have a good reason for this. The only sex I could have is rape. ( I feel terrible about that because rape is not fun).   I am debating talking with my therapist about my rape fantasies. (If you can call it that). It's embarrassing.   Is there anyone else who has the same issue?",-0.9917,negative,disgusted
301,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with being grossed out by sex?,listener_1,2,I don’t have the issue so I can’t imagine what it is like but if you would like to I would recommend talking to your therapist because you don’t want your fetish/kink to worsen any further.,0.5023,positive,sympathizing
301,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with being grossed out by sex?,speaker,3,"No, but sometimes I feel like I have",0.5023,positive,neutral
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,speaker,1,Is it a good idea? I’ve been absent for almost three weeks. It is very hard for me. I really don’t know what to do.,0.2975,positive,lonely
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,listener_1,2,"Talk to someone at your school about what's going on...a teacher, a counselor, a dean. See what your options are and if you can work out a plan. No matter what, your mental health is a humongous priority so please be working on it, even if it means pausing classes for now.",0.4436,positive,suggesting
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,speaker,3,"Thank you so much! But I am also very of what they’ll think of me, especially my classmates. I am a transferee so i don’t really know them yet. I am a very shy person so i don’t really talk to them a lot. I have been running away from my problems and it’s very frustrating ‘cause I can’t really help myself. (Sorry if my English is bad, It’s not my first language.)",-0.9174,negative,sympathizing
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,listener_1,4,"If you've been absent for 3 weeks, don't you think they're already wondering about you?",0.0,neutral,questioning
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,speaker,5,One of my classmates actually messaged me and asked if when will I go back to school.  He also said that I missed many school works. I should make up for my absences but I’m still very anxious to go back,-0.5483,negative,annoyed
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,listener_1,6,"I understand why you are anxious. It's often easier to just avoid or run away from our problems. I hope you can either return back to class or ask for/take some time off. Either way, you should probably communicate with your classmates and teacher.",-0.0516,negative,suggesting
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,speaker,7,I’ll do my best. Thank you!,0.7901,positive,wishing
302,MentalHealthSupport,Should I stop school and focus on my mental health?,speaker,8,Thank you! I’ll do my best. Good luck!,0.9214,positive,wishing
303,MentalHealthSupport,Am i allowed to kind have an emotional rant?,speaker,1,"I just have had a really hard week and I don't know if this for here but I really need to get it off my chest and it might just be in my own head(also if I'm rambling or don't make much sense I'm kinda in an emotional panic)...  I'm currently working up the nerve off come out and I'm tarrifide of telling my partents I don't know what they will do or off they will kick me out, and I'm planning to go into the military aswell and the thought of leaving but having nothing to come back to makes me so scared of having to leave and makes me think I'll end up homeless plus, having to hide who I am for so much longer then I thought I would have to was starting to hide, it was starting to hurt when im called my birth name or pronouns...when I think More about my future make me want to not be around to see it, as nothing is going right. I might just be pushing this out of proportion but Im sorry.   Thank you for anyone who bothers to read   having told this make me feel so much better sorry for if I sounded whiny",-0.9317,negative,apprehensive
303,MentalHealthSupport,Am i allowed to kind have an emotional rant?,listener_1,2,Hope you're ok OP. Sending invisible internet hugs your way.,0.8074,positive,consoling
303,MentalHealthSupport,Am i allowed to kind have an emotional rant?,speaker,3,im trying to mange but thank you,0.5023,positive,neutral
303,MentalHealthSupport,Am i allowed to kind have an emotional rant?,speaker,4,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
304,MentalHealthSupport,My friend needs help,speaker,1,"My friend recently had to end a relationship because of past experiences that the relationship was reminding her of.                In around April this year, a guy that she had known for about 3 years had recently broken up with his gf and he was very sad about it. So my friend offered to spend time with him and cuddle with him as friends, just so he didn’t feel as bad.         The guy is a 19 year old (20 in September) and training to be a policeman. At the time she was 14, originally it did start off as cuddling but then every time she went to his house, more things would happen but the guy is both very large and mentally ill so she was scared of him.        She never said no to anything because she was scared of his reaction. This meant that he would frequently strangle her, slap her and force her to choke on his dick. If she ever tried to be reluctant, he would slap her and tell her to ‘quit the attitude’.            She didn’t tell anyone because she knew that he would be angry at her and upset for losing his job.                                           After a month he ended it because he was offered an opportunity to become an official officer. She deleted all of evidence of her interactions with him so she can’t tell the police because there isn’t any evidence.                                    She’s annoyed she deleted all the evidence and is upset about how affected she is by it. What should she do?",-0.9889,negative,caring
304,MentalHealthSupport,My friend needs help,listener_1,2,What area does she live in? Can't figure out  what help she can get without knowing where to look? I want to help!,0.747,positive,caring
304,MentalHealthSupport,My friend needs help,listener_2,3,North west I meant to say lol,0.4215,positive,disappointed
304,MentalHealthSupport,My friend needs help,listener_2,4,"N/E England, I’m the friend btw. How come you need to know the area?",0.4939,positive,questioning
305,MentalHealthSupport,So this is about my brother,speaker,1,"so he was in high school, his mental health was gradually getting worse, but not that noticable. he was telling everyone he knew things that shouldn't be said (family secrets - and even claiming that me and his mom was abusing him which is just nuts although he was the one treating us very badly) when he was in the final year. his grades were shitty and fadled many of em and just before the finals he said he didn't wanna go, left the house at four am, we woke up and didn't find him, went out searching but we couldn't find him. aftur an hour or so he went back and said he hated us and din't want to see us again, of course mom was devastated, we were already facing many problems (family-financial) after our father passed. we kept convincing him to get to the finals, brought priests went to church but he acted pretty normally and asking them to have a word alone, and then tell them that it's because we're abusing him. so after the finals-which he didn't attend- and we were devastated of course. family members-that we had problems with- asked about our grades and mom told them what happened, so they tried to convince him to repeat the final year but he kept refusing until the uncle that hated us the most came, once he talked to him-wasn't convincing at all- he just said yes and that he will repeat..... so the next year came, at that time he was acting like shit, we brought him to a shrink but once he sees him he acts very normally and then tell them that we are abusive. our relationships with other people we know have turned into shit as they believed we are abusive. he was dealing with us in a shitty way, he even hit beat my mom once and I wanted to beat the shit out of him but couldn't cuz he was physically stronger than me and that he kept threatening us that he won't attend the finals if we didn't buy him or do what he wants. I kept telling mom to send him to a mental hospital or even kick him out of the house. but she didn't as she didn't want him to lose his future. and after the finals (he made us deliver him to and from school cuz he didn't want to ride public transit) . and after we were busting our asses off looking for a University that would accept him as he was studying very very little. and just now told us that he just wrote his name and left the wole exams empty as he didn't 'like' summer courses. and told us that he wanted to repeat it another time. so any help?",-0.9973,negative,neutral
305,MentalHealthSupport,So this is about my brother,listener_1,2,"im not a professional (and not even an adult) but here are some of my recommendations:   \-you need to prove him wrong. it seems that people are more able to believe him about you guys abusing him rather than the other way around. possibly set up cameras and things so you will have proof.   \-though i don't know these things very well, he definitely has a very serious mental condition that is making it so he either has the ability to switch between personalities or he is doing it without his own control.   \-talk to someone who can do something about him, like a teacher or therapist. this situation has existed before and they should know what to do. if they don't trust you, that is when the proof i mentioned before is important.   i hope everything works out and if you can keep us posted.",0.69,positive,agreeing
305,MentalHealthSupport,So this is about my brother,speaker,3,"first of all, thx for your response but:  > . possibly set up cameras and things so you will have proof.   >   why would i have to prove anything to anyone?  > though i don't know these things very well, he definitely has a very serious mental condition that is making it so he either has the ability to switch between personalities or he is doing it without his own control  well he does it intentionally, he doesn't switch personalities. not like the movie split if that's what you mean",0.8699,positive,agreeing
305,MentalHealthSupport,So this is about my brother,listener_1,4,"for the personality, that's not what i meant, i meant more in a deceiving type of way where he can just kind of switch to benefit what is happening. i know this is a thing and that a lot of people can just be different in extreme ways.   also, from reading the post, it seemed like he was lying to people about you guys abusing him instead of the other way around. if you tried to get him into care for whatever is wrong, people might not believe you and it seems that people have not believed you in the past when talking about the situation. if people didn't believe you, it might be helpful to have some form of proof. of course, whatever is best for you and i am not in your situation so take whatever i say with a grain of salt.   im sorry if i offended you in any way and i hope everything works out.",0.6293,positive,agreeing
305,MentalHealthSupport,So this is about my brother,speaker,5,"no no I'm not offended or anything, i'm just not a native speaker so maybe what i said was a bit in an aggressive way but i didn't mean to, and thanks a lot to you for trying to help, i appreciate it a lot",0.9093,positive,sympathizing
306,MentalHealthSupport,"How can I live normally, raise my daughter, and keep my family together when I’m struggling so hard to be normal?",speaker,1,"I suffer from BPD and I’m having a really hard time struggling with keeping it together. I have a daughter and I’m with her dad and things have been tough for us the last few months. We’re living with my mom and trying to save up money, im getting ready for a huge surgery, and my boyfriend is busy working a lot while I’m only working part time because I have many doctor appointments. It’s putting a lot of strain on us. This isn’t necessarily about our relationship but we have been fighting nonstop because of my mental health deteriorating. I’m on medication and see a psychologist and my primary doctor regularly and I don’t understand why it’s so hard for me, I just can’t cope with any thing that comes up or my boyfriend working extra making me fly off the handle because we get very little family time as it is, I want more quality family time. I’ve been drinking more and harming myself. I go into psychotic rampages when I’m fighting with my daughters dad and call him 60 times at work. I don’t understand and don’t know what to do. I feel stupid later on and I see why he doesn’t know whether it’s going to work out between us and isn’t in love with me anymore. It’s just a matter of time before I’m alone again because I’m too crazy to keep anyone around. I f***ing hate it so much but I can’t help it.   How can anyone function normally with this disorder? It’s impossible to have a normal life where I don’t hate myself and feel like I have no friends and no one who really understands. Every day I just wish I would die in my sleep... my daughter deserves a much better mom than me, there’s so much that I can’t give her emotionally because I’m struggling so much. I’ve been getting help for 7 years and still haven’t got much better, just better phases but it always comes back around.",-0.9733,negative,lonely
306,MentalHealthSupport,"How can I live normally, raise my daughter, and keep my family together when I’m struggling so hard to be normal?",listener_1,2,"i know this might not be what you want to hear and im not in any way a professional (or even an adult) but i think its time to check in somewhere. no one that cares about you should be mad or protest within reason of you going to some sort of mental hospital to calm down. It seems that you've had a lot of stress in your life with your child's father and money and no one wants to see you harm yourself or someone else. this situation is clearly toxic and even if it feels like you are overreacting you still need to be taken out of the situation and figure out what is best for you. you need to understand that your health is the most important thing in your life. im sure you love your child very much and want to make everything work but it can't continue like this. if you need to talk im here for you and i hope you get better. in conclusion, i recommend talking to your health professional about what you can do about checking in somewhere to receive better and more personalized treatment.",0.9781,positive,agreeing
306,MentalHealthSupport,"How can I live normally, raise my daughter, and keep my family together when I’m struggling so hard to be normal?",listener_2,3,"An inpatient program could be a good idea. If that's not in the cards, look for a more structured intensive outpatient program or at least an evening support group. Your doctors and therapist should have local resources for this. Yes it is possible to live with this diagnosis and be happy and successful in life, but it's not easy. You are going to need to be strong and advocate for yourself and what you need in order to get through this difficult time. You can do it! Don't give up. Put your self care first.",0.8941,positive,hopeful
307,MentalHealthSupport,"5th Year Med Student, will I cope?",speaker,1,"Currently a final year medical student. I'll be a doctor in February. Over the last year my mental health has suffered and I have developed (and am being treated for) depression and panic disorder.  I've never let it effect my work, I actually find peace in hitting the books when I'm feeling crappy. But I worry for when I actually start as an F1 in the NHS. The work environment is notoriously hard and burn out/moving to Australia are very very common things.  Anyone in a similar position?  I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.",-0.8898,negative,anxious
307,MentalHealthSupport,"5th Year Med Student, will I cope?",listener_1,2,"Ok no help,I'm so sorry but I am extraordinarily curious ,I'm from the U.S. How is burn out the same as going to australia? Feel free to ignore.",0.5932,positive,sympathizing
307,MentalHealthSupport,"5th Year Med Student, will I cope?",speaker,3,"Oh my bad, I don't think I explained that very well. At the moment there is a very high rate of burn out in junior doctors in the NHS to the point where a lot of doctors are moving to Australia in particular to work instead. Apparently the work-life balance over there is significantly better.",0.2006,positive,sympathizing
308,MentalHealthSupport,Compulsive gibberish,speaker,1,Ok so I've always compulsively spoke in gibberish when alone. Like when Charlie Kelly thought he could speak mandarin. But lately it's been increasing and the compulsion to do it around people is becoming harder to ignore. I've had the urge to just yell gibberish at people. Can anyone help me identify what's going on or help me learn to get things back under control?,0.6908,positive,embarrassed
308,MentalHealthSupport,Compulsive gibberish,listener_1,2,"Not a professional, but maybe it's a form of tourette syndrome?",0.0,neutral,suggesting
308,MentalHealthSupport,Compulsive gibberish,speaker,3,I do work in a high stress job. Would it be normal for tourette's to progress this late in life? Almost 30,0.0,neutral,anxious
308,MentalHealthSupport,Compulsive gibberish,listener_1,4,"I would imagine it could develope just like other mental health things like depression or anxiety and so forth. Those things aren't with people all their lives. Like those things, they can be affected by genetics, so I would check and see if there's been the same issue in your family history. Again, I'm in no way shape or form a professional though.  But since you have high stress from your job, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a coping mechanism similar to bouncing your knee. I also say gibberish or scramble words just cause. Caught myself saying ""da-ku"" when trying to say ""thank you"". Also had a friend that lived with me and we occasionally just made sounds at each other. I think it's just nice not having to think and formulate a sentence, especially when recalling words I want to use is so hard for me (had to Google ""yelling out words uncontrollably"" because I couldn't remember the word ""tourettes"") but just express yourself through noise.",0.3719,positive,suggesting
309,MentalHealthSupport,What has helped for issues with paranoia.,speaker,1,"I have PTSD from incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse as a child as well as a sudden death of a parent.   Wondering what people do to deal with paranoia and distrust in family, friends and partners and knowing the difference between an abusive relationship and one where you are projecting and reading into things.   This is hard since people can gaslight you making it even more confusing to trust your instincts since you know you also have paranoia.",-0.9519,negative,apprehensive
309,MentalHealthSupport,What has helped for issues with paranoia.,listener_1,2,Meeting with a therapist,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
309,MentalHealthSupport,What has helped for issues with paranoia.,speaker,3,"When you say DBT, you mean a book, like a DBT workbook ?",0.3612,positive,questioning
309,MentalHealthSupport,What has helped for issues with paranoia.,listener_2,4,"I mean DBT therapy, like a trained DBT therapist",0.3612,positive,neutral
309,MentalHealthSupport,What has helped for issues with paranoia.,speaker,5,"Oh, I'm using the workbook, if I can get a DBT therapist I will, thanks",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
310,MentalHealthSupport,I feel my privacy was invaded by a first responder and a social worker.,speaker,1,"I was taken to the ER after having a heat stroke because I ran away. (Long story). I'm mentally unstable and I do and say stuff during my moods that makes NO SENSE.  While I was being rushed to the hospital, the first responder was asking me about what the heck I was doing running away. I felt okay to share that I had considered (never executed) calling up this guy I knew and having he drive me somewhere. I was upset and shared this.  Now...I'm 18 and this guy I know is 24. (PS I swear I wouldn't not actually meet him. I've blocked him on Snapchat).   I was assured that I was ""18 and my parents didn't have to know anything"" from hour one. I was questioned by a social worker and all sorts of stuff before checking out the hospital.   A few days later, my mom gets a call from the social worker. She says that the first responder told her about what I said in the ambulance. I had a freaking awkward talk with my parents about dating and meeting people online, etc.   Now, I freaking hate my life. I'm probably not going to attend my counseling because I no longer trust anyone. I have so much crap going on and I just don't want to talk with my parents about it. That's understandable since I'm 18 and I'm ashamed of half my issues. How should I respond to this? I'm angry and hurt equally.",-0.9825,negative,ashamed
310,MentalHealthSupport,I feel my privacy was invaded by a first responder and a social worker.,listener_1,2,What country are you from ?,0.0,neutral,questioning
310,MentalHealthSupport,I feel my privacy was invaded by a first responder and a social worker.,speaker,3,I'm from America,0.0,neutral,proud
311,MentalHealthSupport,"I need some advice on something that i’ve only been able to find sources for for the root childhood issue, but has become so bad in my adult life and have no idea how to cope/help",speaker,1,"Ever since i can remember. I’ve always had something wrong with me involving food.   Yaknow how like a snake feels? A fish feels? And other reptiles like lizards feel? If a food (for me) is a squishy textures, it immediately causes a panic attack and i have the feeling in my mouth as if i had just bitten into a live snake/fish/lizard (or what my anxiety perceives it would feel like in my mouth)  Through googling i’ve established its food aversion disorder. I’ve only found resources on how to help with it in the early stages of a childs life.  I eat most foods but some with restrictions. I won’t eat fish, i can’t eat any hot dogs (except one specific kind because the “squish” doesn’t bother me as much) and chicken HAS to be dry (it can’t be too juicy so my real only options for something dry are fried tenders)   But i’ve deemed most junk food as “safe” and thats mostly my diet.  I just don’t know how to deal with this? I told someone for the first time in my life how I actually feel when something is squishy or the wrong texture (my boyfriend, who was so supportive and helped me find that its some type of food aversion disorder/sensory issues)   I feel extremely alone right now because i’ve never met someone like me, who just has that odd relationship with food (like honestly, who really feels like they’re biting into a snake if a food is too squishy?! I feel insane for feeling like this ;-;)    Any feedback is absolutely appreciated. Im just now feeling so lost on what to do.",0.595,positive,terrified
311,MentalHealthSupport,"I need some advice on something that i’ve only been able to find sources for for the root childhood issue, but has become so bad in my adult life and have no idea how to cope/help",listener_1,2,you  might like r/arfid  which sounds like how you eat.  it affects adults too.,0.6124,positive,acknowledging
311,MentalHealthSupport,"I need some advice on something that i’ve only been able to find sources for for the root childhood issue, but has become so bad in my adult life and have no idea how to cope/help",speaker,3,"Thank you so much! I’m feeling so lost, i only came out about it for the first time in my whole life this morning. So i just feel so lost and confused and alone ;-;",-0.7632,negative,lonely
311,MentalHealthSupport,"I need some advice on something that i’ve only been able to find sources for for the root childhood issue, but has become so bad in my adult life and have no idea how to cope/help",listener_1,4,"i think i have that too and it's very, very frustrating.",-0.5379,negative,agreeing
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,speaker,1,I’m currently out of town but my girlfriend has been going through a rough time. She lives at home with both of her parents and they are very strict and don’t treat her with respect and it wears down on her. I can tell how sometimes she feels alone bc I’m not there and she can never leave the house. She told me she started cutting and I told her to flush everything and send a video. I want to help her she means the world to me I can’t keep watching this go on but I don’t know how to help other then telling her “it’s okay” please reddit help her.,0.9624,positive,caring
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,listener_1,2,Call the crisis hotline and get her some help or convince her to see a therapist or psychiatrist or something,-0.1027,negative,suggesting
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,speaker,3,"It’s hard, she doesn’t like talking about how she feels and we’re both under 18 so it’s hard to seek real help",0.4804,positive,apprehensive
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,listener_1,4,"Then maybe go to a school counselor she’s gonna have to realize she needs some help you can’t help someone who isn’t ready or willing to get the desired helps that she needs , trust me I’ve been there where she is and I didn’t get better until I realized I could no longer do it on my own ,it took me having a nervous breakdown to realize I needed professional help now I see a psychiatrist and a therapist and I attend a support group and I feel much better but I do still have some work to do it’s been a very long 6 years since I’ve been dealing with my depression , anxiety and loneliness but recently I’ve accepted a roommate so I’m not so lonely but it’s has been a long hard battle so I know how you feel and how she feels dealing with someone who is severely depressed can be very difficult for sure but just be there for her and do your best to help her feel loved and cared for, she really needs that right now.",0.907,positive,suggesting
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,listener_2,5,"If she wants/needs help... unfortunately she's going to have to open up, at least, just a little...  I (25f) have been through 13 years of hell with constant and increasingly traumatic abuse cause horrendous anxiety depression and 2 nervous breakdowns...  I have only just started to ask for help and it is crippling knowing that I may not have gone through some of the stuff if I had just asked sooner.  Saying ""its ok"" is an incredibly kind thing to say but maybe, honesty might help in a different way?  Maybe try ""I'm sorry that everything isn't ok and I can't help you... can we find someone who can?""  Or just a simple, ""none of this is ok, but I'm going to stay with you until you feel stronger""...  Sending cuddles to both of you... and never forget, no matter how hard it gets and how much the darkness clouds the light, you are not alone.",-0.4101,negative,trusting
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,speaker,6,"Thank you, this post really helps hearing from a female in the same position as hers. I’m going to take the same steps and try and keep her positive and happy as best as I can.",0.9509,positive,acknowledging
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,speaker,7,The “it’s okay” part was an under exaggeration I try and make her not feel so alone and that I get her situation but it’s hard bc I don’t know what she doesn’t tell me. I try and open with her but it doesn’t go anywhere and I’m pretty sure she gets more upset going deep into it. Thank you for your response I wish u the best in your recovery and hope the best in your future.,0.9782,positive,wishing
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,listener_3,8,I'm happy to help! Take care :),0.9168,positive,joyful
312,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend is struggling with depression and I need to know how to help her.,listener_2,9,"Follow your gut. It's always right.  What is your gut telling you to do?!   Also, thank you so much for your kind words. Its means so much...",0.7345,positive,wishing
313,MentalHealthSupport,In need of a cheering up?!?,speaker,1,Hey everyone! Comment something funny positive or crazy... a good story a cheesy dad joke not just for me but for anyone in need of a little smile!,0.8174,positive,acknowledging
313,MentalHealthSupport,In need of a cheering up?!?,listener_1,2,"what do you call a cow with no legs?   ground beef  ​  what do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?   frostbite  ​  what do you call a pig that does karate?   pork chop  ​  what kind of shorts do clouds wear?   thunderwear  ​  those are just a few but do a quick google search for ""cute jokes"" and go to images, trust me",0.9064,positive,disgusted
313,MentalHealthSupport,In need of a cheering up?!?,speaker,3,So cute thank you!,0.7479,positive,acknowledging
314,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dissociating for about a year now and I don’t know why.,speaker,1,I haven’t had any traumatic experiences in my life time. I’m 14 years old and after opening up to my therapist she told me that what was happening was that I’m dissociating. This bothered me because I don’t have PTSD or anything. I’m sure I haven’t just repressed it because I know my parents would have sent me to therapy (I go now for anxiety). Is it common for people without trauma to dissociate? Or am I just a wuss?,-0.723,negative,apprehensive
314,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dissociating for about a year now and I don’t know why.,listener_1,2,I do this too and I haven't figured it out yet. I think it can be a thing for people with significant anxiety... even though it usually is associated with trauma,-0.4019,negative,agreeing
314,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dissociating for about a year now and I don’t know why.,speaker,3,"I’m hoping that’s all it is, my fear is that something bad happened to be when I was young like when I was at a friends house or something and st the time I didn’t understand and I didn’t think twice about it but now I’m older and I can understand things my brain doesn’t want me to remember. This is all complete speculation btw",0.2023,positive,afraid
314,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dissociating for about a year now and I don’t know why.,listener_1,4,I've wondered that too,0.0,neutral,agreeing
315,MentalHealthSupport,I caught feeling really hard and can’t let it go. How do I stop this?,speaker,1,"I (19M idk if my age and sex would help in helping me but I’ll leave it just in case) went to a party last night hosted by my cousin for her sisters birthday. My cousin is the same age as me and only 4 months younger so she’s like pretty much my best friend. I recently moved about 11 hours away so don’t see her as much (actually on my way home now) anymore and that could be a reason I’m bummed out. Anyway she invited a bunch of her friends over, one of which got along and flirted with me the whole day (yesterday) She was just perfect honestly. She was funny, smart, beautiful, just a great person overall.   Now when I say she flirted with me, I mean she flirted HARD. They had a 60 foot tall water slide and their inground pool so most of our time was spent outside. Some examples of the flirting she did was, her bikini top “slipping off” on the water slide then winking at me when she realized I saw, hanging around me, insisting on sitting with me to tan on those outdoor little chair bed things (idk what they’re called) and most appalling, sitting on my lap while watching a movie when there was a seat right next to her.   Now don’t get me wrong I was totally fine with this, I was hoping this was going to happen. I assumed we would most likely hook up at the least or possibly keep in touch and work something out to be together because that’s the vibe she was throwing off.   I’m sorry for how long it is but here’s the part this post is about. When she was sitting on my lap like a face to face sit, she told me that she happened to be lesbian and didn’t have feelings for me. She then proceeded to fall asleep on my shoulder. I asked my Cousin who’s known her for a while if it was true and it was. I’ve been rejected before and it’s honestly never hit this hard, I’m just so distraught about it for some reason and I just don’t want to feel like this. I’m not the best looking guy but I play football for my HS (well did going to college next year so I’ll prolly play there) so I keep my body in good shape and care about it. Did she just like me because I was fit but remembered she liked girls halfway through? If anyone can please tell me how to get over this please let me know because this really messed me up  Ps I know someone will probably say something along the line of “oh you aren’t used to getting rejected that’s why” but trust me. I’ve been rejected quite a bit.",0.9976,positive,trusting
315,MentalHealthSupport,I caught feeling really hard and can’t let it go. How do I stop this?,listener_1,2,"Bisexual girl here, we exist! She might play for both teams because that is my exact flirting style.  Just ask her directly, as in face to face next time you see her if she has any interest playing for both teams. Don’t do it over text though tbh, will come across VERY differently. Good luck and don’t be creepy",0.9441,positive,wishing
315,MentalHealthSupport,I caught feeling really hard and can’t let it go. How do I stop this?,speaker,3,Haha do they really? Jk lol. I’ll make sure to ask next time i visit (i dont live there but go often to see family) thank you for the advice!,0.8328,positive,acknowledging
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",speaker,1,"I (F, 24)  suffered a trauma almost 3 years ago. I met a guy on tinder. I used to have a lot of luck meeting new people that way, that said I was naive and abusing Benzodiazepines (which I was prescribed by my doctor, not long after I began using them for suicide attempts and grew to love the numbness they provided). I was eager to fall in love again in the wake of a devastating break up with trauma of its own but that’s a different story. Anyway I met this Russian guy who I didn’t click with and he and I start talking about weed and Xanax. I mentioned I had some weed he mentioned he had Xanax.  So we decided to go on a mountain drive. I remember getting ready to load a bowl and showing him my favorite mountain road, a decision I regret, as I regret all my actions on this October day. I remember being confused by the way his Xanax looked, being a street bought name brand kind and what I was used to being pills from the pharmacy with the dosage on the side. I don’t know how many milligrams I took. I just know I thought I was taking a single dose. Surprise! I was really fucking wrong.... My memory goes completely blank on that mountain road. I was in and out of it unable to comprehend where I was, who I was with, and what time it was. I have a vague memory of someone being on top of me and me not knowing who he was and asking him, “do I know you?” And eventually being hungry and asking for McDonald’s. Sometime during that I texted my parent that I didn’t know where I was or who I was with. 10 hours after I left home I was completely fucked up. My clothing askew, barely able to walk, uncomprehending what was happening. To be clear I don’t remember coming home. My parents told me about it later. After waking up with a hole in my memory I texted the guy from tinder and asked him what happened. He told me he had had unprotected sex with me and was confessing his love for me. Until I told him I remembered nothing, to that he said “don’t worry you will.”  Then he became aggressive when I was upset, told me he was going to kill me and himself. After that I panicked and messaged his frat president what had happened, including the threats. They took him to the hospital and that was the last I head of Sergei the date rapist.  To this day my father holds me responsible for what happened. How do I know? He tells me too often. My parents are lovely people and they have always showed compassion raising me so I cannot comprehend why they support the man who though having sex with a barely conscious and unable to consent woman and it hurts my heart so bad that the shame makes suicide an option again.  Do I deserve it? Was it my fault? I know I acted foolish and I wish I could take back everything but now I’m only a shameful stain on my family.  TLDR: my dad blames me for getting date raped and I blame myself, wondering if I should do something drastic...",-0.996,negative,devastated
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",listener_1,2,"It is not your fault. Don't let them victim shame you. You can't tell the future. You did not know what was going to happen. The person you were with was mentally unstable. He wanted to hurt you. You didn't know that.   Don't allow yourself to feel guilty. I know it's extremely hard. Have you talked to your dad about how he's making you feel? Talk to him without a filter. Tell him that it's unfair he's blaming you. And even if he doesn't feel like he's making you feel guilty, tell him he is. Tell him that having to live like that is making you severely depressed and making you ideate suicide.   I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. That you've been through so much. I know what it feels like to have those feelings. Please, if you start feeling extremely suicidal, find help. Be strong.",-0.9762,negative,sad
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",speaker,3,Your comment made me reconsider doing something I would have regretted. Holy crap thank you,-0.4019,negative,impressed
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",speaker,4,Thank you.  I was and still sort of am seriously considering suicide. I have a history of obviously unsuccessful attempts but I am sinking fast. Just had another argument where my mom told me I need to take some responsibility for my actions. As if I don’t blame myself everyday,-0.8624,negative,ashamed
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",listener_1,5,No need to thank me. Please stay strong. 💗 Don't blame yourself for anything that's happened. Don't allow anyone rose to either. Just remember that. 💗,0.9522,positive,faithful
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",speaker,6,My city is so expensive to afford to live in. I’ve been saving money for almost a year and I still am not even close to having enough. I have a good job and I do have pretty good insurance but I am not in a good spot at all. I almost want to grab a hotel near work for a few nights but I have pets and don’t want to leave them,0.262,positive,apprehensive
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",listener_2,7,"Do you think you can make a phone call? I’m sure there are women health centers in your area, and places like that usually have an on-call nurse that you can speak to. They may be able to direct you to resources in your area that will fit your situation.   Also, I have people I know that work at the women’s health clinic in my area - and they don’t advertise this, of course - but they have doctors that donate pro-bono time, especially in a situation like yours, where it’s dangerous to stay where you are and you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. Nurses and therapists also donate time.   I can’t guarantee that this will work in your area. I’m going to send you a PM for another option to you.",-0.5423,negative,questioning
316,MentalHealthSupport,"On being blamed for my trauma (TW: suicide, date rape, drug use)",speaker,8,"I like this option a lot, my issues run deep and I have other issues that could be addressed by a good women’s health provider",0.6597,positive,apprehensive
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,speaker,1,"hi... I need some advice please. I’m 21 years old and when I was 18 I made an awful choice.  Around the same time that I was very mentally unwell. Could this have affected my decision making skills? because I would NEVER make this choice on an average day.  No one got hurt, but the choice goes against all morals I have. I feel so guilty everyday because I am a kind, genuine person who wants the best for the world.   I have to add that I did realise the choice that I made was wrong not long after, about 15 minutes, but I am wondering why it took me longer than normal?   Thank you for reading & for your advice :)",0.7569,positive,ashamed
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,listener_1,2,"Absolutely! If you are dealing with manic symptoms and depression it can cause you to spend money, have sex with strangers, run away, hurt yourself, etc. Mental illness has caused me to do something I am ashamed of and would not have normally done. The key is to get help by speaking with a therapist so you can manage those urges to do things that are irrational.",-0.9168,negative,agreeing
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,speaker,3,"Hi! Thank you for your response, I greatly appreciate it. Is it the same for anxiety? I don’t suffer from depression but I was definitely in a depressive stage if that makes sense?  Thank you again and I hope you’re having a wonderful day :)",0.9497,positive,sympathizing
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,listener_1,4,"I personally have anxiety and it causes me to get anxious and do and think irrational stuff. You probably have some Depression issues too, it's just not as bad. I don't know if your are part of the Manic Depression community on Reddit, but they are extremely helpful.",-0.0478,neutral,agreeing
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,speaker,5,"Thank you, you have helped me more than you know. So being in a bad mindset can definitely make poor decision making skills? Because the choice I made was very out of character, like extremely. I’m just trying to move forward.  Wishing you so much happiness and safety!",0.8389,positive,wishing
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,listener_1,6,"I'm so glad I've helped you:) Please understand that your past decisions DO NOT DEFINITE YOU. We all make mistakes. I know from personal experience that is embarrassing to look at past mistakes, especially if someone knows what you did. Good luck!",0.4269,positive,sympathizing
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,speaker,7,Thank you so much! Do you think me feeling so unwell mentally back then affected me seeing things clear properly?  I thank you for your patience with me :),0.8687,positive,grateful
317,MentalHealthSupport,Can mental health affect our decision making skills??,speaker,8,I got it sorted and feel much better. Thank you again for all your help! May you have lots of happy days ahead (:,0.9359,positive,wishing
318,MentalHealthSupport,i think ive been misdiagnosed,speaker,1,"hi everyone, this post is kind of simple. i believe that I’ve been misdiagnosed and I need help addressing this with my care provider. my current diagnosis is bipolar. I’ve never had a manic episode and i believe that I’m actually suffering from ptsd. I think the symptoms that they are attributing to bipolar are actually symptoms of ptsd (impulsiveness, poor sleep, hypersexuality). I’m very nervous about talking to my psychiatrist and therapist about this because i really want them to believe me and to give me the correct kind of care. could anyone give me any advice?",0.204,positive,apprehensive
318,MentalHealthSupport,i think ive been misdiagnosed,listener_1,2,You can only address it by talking about it. You’ll feel better clearing the air. I promise.,0.6369,positive,questioning
318,MentalHealthSupport,i think ive been misdiagnosed,speaker,3,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
318,MentalHealthSupport,i think ive been misdiagnosed,speaker,4,"the thing is that I wasn’t diagnosed based off of mania/hypomania,  they dxed me so I could try different meds. ive never been hypomanic or manic that I or my drs have seen, they used my family history to decide what route of care I should try and then went from there.",0.4939,positive,neutral
319,MentalHealthSupport,I think I might have hallucinated,speaker,1,"I've just woken up about 5 hours before I should have and the first thing I saw when I woke up was a man curled up in the fetal position in the corner just across from me, he was dirty and naked and I just closed my eyes again to hope he wasn't there. But everytime I opened my eyes he was there.  It got to the point where slowly over time I moved myself towards the door, pretending I was still asleep in case it was someone who'd got into my room. When I got the guts to get out my room I did it slowly pretending I hadn't seen him and once I was out my room I turned around and he wasn't there.  I don't think I've ever been so scared in my own bedroom before and I'm sat here crying and shaking now. I have no clue what just happened and why I saw someone who wasn't there and I just want advice or support or something",-0.8365,negative,terrified
319,MentalHealthSupport,I think I might have hallucinated,listener_1,2,"Hey, I think you've hallucinationed. PM me if you need to chat anytime, I'm always here for you and 8 understand what's it's like.",0.3612,positive,caring
319,MentalHealthSupport,I think I might have hallucinated,speaker,3,"Thank you, hopefully it was just something sleep related but I know how awake I felt at the time. Hopefully was just a one off",0.7311,positive,consoling
320,MentalHealthSupport,Pyromania?..,speaker,1,"I have recently spoken to a phsyciatrist (forced :) about these issues and he recommended admitting me into a hospital out of safety reasons. Of course because of pricing being high we couldn't really say no or yes until we're sure it's absolutely necessary.   So lately for the past what.. About a month or two? I've been using fire as an outlet. Burning things began with candles and went onto paper, then notebooks, and now books as large as dictionaries. I won't really go into detail on emotions during the moments, but I know it helps. Sometimes it's difficult to hold back heavy urges to burn myself or others. Though holding back didn't work very long and I now have marks from either dripping hot wax onto myself or holding my hand above flames.   My mother and friends have called me names because of it.. ""Weirdo"" ""Pyroboy"" ""Firehead""   How do I know when far is too far? Im not really sure whether I WANT help or not, but at what point should I seek it?",0.8988,positive,apprehensive
320,MentalHealthSupport,Pyromania?..,listener_1,2,"I am not a doctor by any means, but I’ve had to watch a loved one go through this. (Thankfully he was able to get things under control with therapy before things got really bad.)  As for your question: NOW. I would seek help now.   When it’s an outlet for an emotional release, more often than not, the person needs to set bigger and bigger fires to feel satisfied.  Based on your post within a short amount of time you’ve started with candles and accelerated to dictionary-like books and self harm.   Professional treatment is necessary to learn how to control your impulses. Regardless of your intentions, fire can easily get out of control hurting yourself or others, or end up destroying property. Even if you feel like you would never let it get to that point, things can evolve rather quickly causing come serious and irreversible consequences.",0.0221,neutral,impressed
320,MentalHealthSupport,Pyromania?..,listener_2,3,did you find any solve?,0.2023,positive,questioning
320,MentalHealthSupport,Pyromania?..,speaker,4,"Well I've calmed down on the use and found other ways to cope, But it is still a minor issue. (Long story short)  I wasn't able to get any medical help because of my parents concern on pricing, so I tried just doing everything myself.  I ended up locking myself in my room every time I had an urge to light something up.",0.7096,positive,ashamed
321,MentalHealthSupport,Denied because of a Calender,speaker,1,"Hi, First Post so apologies in advance if its a bit rubbish. But I just need a place to speak right now and this is probably the best place.  So I live in the UK, and I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar, and I'm MEANT to be getting treatment via medication. Now last time I was at the 'specialist' centre Ive been referred to the doctor upped my dosage, and basically gave me enough meds to match this dosage from the supplies I had already this was on 6th June, I ran out on (ironically) my birthday 20th June work and stuff got in the way so I only called last week 4th July. For a top-up they said due to the time I'd called it would have to be yesterday afternoon to pick them up as the doctor wouldn't have time before that (plus in the UK we're told to allow 48 hours anyway for a repeat) so I go to pick up the meds today. And they haven't done it, instead there's a note from the Doctor saying they won't do it as it was less then 30 days from the last request and I should still have some... It's been 18 days since my last tablet. This is not good in anyway. And I'm now just sat in their reception for God knows how long because they haven't even told me what's going on.    TL:DR Saw doctor who increased dosage of meds, doctors said I had more then I did, now refusing me meds, trapped in doctors office",0.2939,positive,grateful
321,MentalHealthSupport,Denied because of a Calender,listener_1,2,"You're not alone.  I have major (and I mean major) depression and anxiety which has just ruined my life! I am now 25 and having to build my life up from the foundations... I've been told multiple times by DOCTORS to JUST THINK POSITIVELY and getting back into work will solve everything...  I have also been told by my regular pharmacist that they ""don't do"" automatic repeat prescriptions... so every month when I run out of my tablets, I have to call them and wait a week to pick them up.  On the same note, I was horrendously suicidal, was gripping onto life by the skin of my teeth so they upped my pills and put me on a 6-9 month waiting list with NO contact between.  Welcome to the UK's health care system!!",-0.8122,negative,angry
321,MentalHealthSupport,Denied because of a Calender,speaker,3,Oh I sadly know the issues with the NHS. I've had doctors tell me 'if you can diagnose it you don't have it' I've had a doctor use a Tick box system to decide if I'm depressed or not  And even then I was given the wrong diagnosis for about 6/7 years. There was ONE doctor who genuinely was attentive and caught the signs of the bi-polar just a shame where I was referred to isn't as good as that doctor,-0.9288,negative,disappointed
322,MentalHealthSupport,Want to give up,speaker,1,"Hey, all. My name is Justin. I want some feedback and support. I hurt like hell. I have autism, bipolar, add, ocd, anxiety: I have a neurological gammit. My heart hurts. I’m high functioning enough for people to not notice anything is different about me. When I tell people about my diagnoses they say they wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t told them. My brain hurts a lot. The girl that I was falling for decided her and I isn’t what she wanted. We slept together and she told me she loved me, and then she left. She had just gotten out of a five year relationship and I was just trying to be a friend for her. She initiated everything: talking about liking each other, physical affection, sex. I wanted to wait. I was her rebound and I didn’t know. I didn’t initiate because I wanted to respect where she was at in coping and grieving the loss of her previous relationship. I hurt like hell, and I still am her friend (friendzoned). I committed to being her friend, before we knew we liked each other, and I feel like if I end the friendship I’ll be breaking my word, and I don’t want to. I want to model commitment to her, bc she has some commitment issues. I also work at Starbucks. I’m barely surviving financially. I’m looking for another job but it is difficult to find another job, and it’s difficult to find another job that’ll work with my availability so that I can maximize hours I work. I feel hopeless. I want to make a last ditch effort and go on an adventure by moving somewhere far away, where hopefully the job market is better and where the cost of living is cheaper. California is expensive and I want to leave. Please help me with words of encouragement. I just want to die because there is my a point to life; we all die anyways. The only thing I find joy in is nature and music. I enjoy singing and playing guitar, and drumming; and so enjoy being in nature and hiking. I want to move to Tennessee, Chattanooga. I’m trying to set up a second job; I can transfer with Starbucks to a store there.",0.9805,positive,sad
322,MentalHealthSupport,Want to give up,listener_1,2,"Justin, I deal with severe anxiety and anxiety induced depression and I can tell you right now that sometimes I feel like I wanna die. I have a lot of things that make my life so difficult as I live in the most competitive schooling area in the country so a lot of pressure has been put on my life to succeed. I too have had depression that makes me feel down and makes me feel like nothing brings me happiness anymore. But Justin I always remind myself of how important I am even if nobody else sees it because god gave every human being a purpose on this beautiful earth and maybe u haven’t quite found that purpose yet but u will. For your depression I suggest that u get into a daily routine and incorporate things that u love to do. For me I love reading and working out which both make me feel very accomplished with myself. I can obviously tell by reading what u wrote that ur autism is extremely high functioning and the way u write shows how smart and mature u rlly are so don’t let anyone bring u down for what u have. By what u said Justin u sound like a phenomenal human being that was put on this earth for the good of our world. Don’t give up Justin because the world needs more people like u. I suggest maybe talking to a therapist on how u feel or maybe starting up on medication because when I began to do both of those I immediately felt a whole lot better. life gets better Justin, it always does. Much love, Andrew",0.9937,positive,grateful
322,MentalHealthSupport,Want to give up,speaker,3,"Thank you, Andrew. I really appreciate your response.",0.6697,positive,sympathizing
322,MentalHealthSupport,Want to give up,speaker,4,"Thank you. Ya, I know there are ups and downs; I forget about it though sometimes. I appreciate you.",0.5106,positive,grateful
322,MentalHealthSupport,Want to give up,listener_2,5,"If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.  **US:**  Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741  **Non-US:**  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)    ---    ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^bot.  ^^Feedback ^^appreciated.",0.2297,positive,apprehensive
323,MentalHealthSupport,My own defense mechanisms are the issue,speaker,1,"Hi, I'm nineteen and have been suffering with depression and anxiety since I can remember. It's mostly from childhood trauma which I won't go into detail about. I've gone to so many different agencies for support but I hate them, and here's a simple reason why.   Since childhood I've had to lie about my wellbeing and emotions to the point I do it subconsciously to myself at times. When ever I go to therapists my own defense mechanism takes over, I immediately try to act confident, open and very independent. It pisses me off so much, because its so obvious to my friends that I have depression and anxiety, even to the staff in my building, but I'm so good at covering it that one night I can be suicidal and literally writing up a note to everyone I care about and the next I will be talking to a therapist about something they like to distract them. It's also ridiculous how easy it is to distract them. I'm out of my mind in annoyance because I start wondering if I'm lying to myself about being depressed and that's why the therapists don't see it.  I've literally wished for a breakdown or a panic attack or to cry in front of a therapist so they know I'm serious but after all the shit that happened to me as a kid I refuse to look weak in front of anyone. I started crying when talking to my key worker (type of social worker) and immediately ducked out the room before the tears could start falling despite her obviously knowing I was crying and emotion. It's all so frustrating but at the same time there's no one to really talk to about it. I wish therapist took written statements because I can write this shit but I can't for the life of me say it a loud.",-0.9956,negative,ashamed
323,MentalHealthSupport,My own defense mechanisms are the issue,listener_1,2,I feel you... sometimes I manipulate people to make them think that everything is ok and later they see me with no facial expression just saying one word answers like “ok” or “yes/no.” It’s not like we mean to do it it just sort of happens. I’m hoping to just find the right therapist to open up to but each new interaction with one spikes my shyness and manipulations. If I find a solution I’ll tell you. I hope you find help soon and have a wonderful day.,0.9387,positive,embarrassed
323,MentalHealthSupport,My own defense mechanisms are the issue,speaker,3,"You too, it can be so hard opening up to therapists, especially when you struggle to vocalise your issues. I find myself often wishing that the therapist could just read my mind because as soon as I try and explain my issues I either go numb or my throat goes dry. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people had this issue.",-0.6804,negative,agreeing
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,speaker,1,Can someone cheer me up? I ruined my bestfriends' graduation day because I couldn't stay sober and made a fool out of myself. Now everyone hates me and Idk how make shit up.,-0.8625,negative,ashamed
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,listener_1,2,"The thing about life is that we all make mistakes. Don’t feel so hard on yourself; your friend is bound to forgive you eventually.  Then again, how extreme was the situation?",0.2344,positive,questioning
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,speaker,3,They had to baby sit me instead of enjoying their time,0.5267,positive,annoyed
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,listener_1,4,"Well, that's not as bad as I thought it would be when you mentioned ""I couldn't stay sober"" lol. They're certainly bound to forgive you. Hope you're having a better morning btw.",0.8983,positive,consoling
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,speaker,5,Yeah the morning was better but the problem was that I was supposed to be sober at their graduation but the idea of getting intoxicated was glorified in my mind,0.5346,positive,ashamed
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,speaker,6,I am controlling it now ;  I know when and where is the right time to get intoxicated,0.0,neutral,prepared
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,speaker,7,This was 2 months ago lol and. I wouldn't mind but I got a job on Thursday  :))),0.2263,positive,surprised
324,MentalHealthSupport,There's no one to talk to so hello Reddit,listener_2,8,"I presume you'll be working till midnight, so Thursday won't work...  How about Friday? (hope it's not your family day)",0.4404,positive,suggesting
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,1,"To give some background, I'm 15 and have NEVER saw a professional or even checked my mental health due to living in a shitty place and having careless parents.  I'm not gonna be able to check a doctor until a couple of weeks, since I'm going on vacation and mental health checking is way better there, but I've been really struggling to interact with my friends or even talk to myself and I can't stop doing either of these things. I also might have ADHD and social anxiety.  How do I deal with these potential problems without cutting contact with my friends?",0.0894,positive,afraid
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,listener_1,2,Why do you think you have schizophrenia?,0.0,neutral,questioning
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,3,"I keep having different thoughts on one subject when I already set my mind to it, I keep having different writing styles and different senses of humor",0.2732,positive,nostalgic
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,listener_1,4,Hmmm i wish you can go to the doctor as early as possible so you can be diagnosed and be okay. Wish you well my dear.,0.875,positive,wishing
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,5,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,6,"It's that my friends aren't okay with me not talking to them, it's that I get lonely pretty quickly, but I'll try that anyway ig.   There isn't any history of schizophrenia in my family that I know of, but I think I have it for just, feeling very different about Stuff/people every now and then when I already set my mind on it",0.4247,positive,lonely
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,listener_2,7,"I'm sorry it's got you worried lately.  I'm not a professional, but this doesn't seem so much like schizophrenia today. Schizophrenia more commonly starts between 18-25 in males, later with females, and has maybe 80% or more family inheritability; meaning your risk is not so high without family history.  Not to say there's no risk of experiencing mental illness, but being a teen and trying to manage social life can feel very anxious, exhausting and confusing. Personally, I needed breaks from my friends to feel balanced.  Could you describe something you felt kind of strongly about and what the change and different feelings are like?",-0.1048,negative,sympathizing
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,8,"Thanks for this information, it's very calming. The feeling that stood out the most is the difficulty to write sentences and form opinions, because so many different thoughts go through my head",0.6361,positive,acknowledging
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,listener_2,9,"""Disordered thinking or speech"" can be a sign of psychosis, and it's usually pretty noticeable. For example someone who... can't..t...tt...talk as... Fast as normal. Or drops in and out of reality ""that's a really big bug on that chair that's growing when I breathe and I see it in my dreams"". Or just doesn't make sense ""hjgjghjhj Pokemon Pokemon can't come out the fairys home 151515"".   It's great you're looking out for yourself, psychotic disorders usually have other features you haven't mentioned and I'm glad you're feeling calmer from learning about this :)",0.9648,positive,afraid
325,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have schizophrenia,speaker,10,"Thanks for everything, dude!",0.4926,positive,acknowledging
326,MentalHealthSupport,"odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.",speaker,1,"   # odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.  📷  First of all, im sorry for any typos, english isnt my first language.  Last year, i had my first dream of this kind, i felt asleep and instantly dreamed in first person, in the same bed i fell asleep, that i was suffocating.  I woke up in sweats after 2 minutes.  I also have to admit, its not really a terror like feel, but its the closest i can get to it because its unexplainable.  In the first day i had it i smoked weed. (wasnt my first time , smoked for a year before it happened)  Since then, it happened more and more often.  Dreams, in wich i was dissaciociated with my body, couldnt control it, with that same feel going thru my body.  Like a paralysing panic, mixed with terror.  But a few nights ago it happened again , and somehow i could get close enough to bite my arm as deep as i could , before losing control of my body again, all my muscles flexing and me screeching uncontrolably.  I woke up with the bite-mark and now im terrified to sleep again.  Also have to note, when i would go to sleep scared it would happen more often, or when i was more tired, but it would happen on normal occasions too.  Im really scared, that i lose control of myself at night, and those werent dreams, just me in a very, unexplainable state.  As in losing control of my body, i dont mean doing normal stuff without my will, i mean hitting walls, hitting myself, stumbling my body everywhere.  Even though i always woke up back in my bed, that bite mark still has me terrified.  Please, help me.  i need sleep.",-0.9851,negative,terrified
326,MentalHealthSupport,"odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.",listener_1,2,Is there any reason that you wouldn’t see a professional like a therapist or a family doctor?,0.3612,positive,questioning
326,MentalHealthSupport,"odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.",speaker,3,i dont have enough money. i just want to know what s happening to me,0.0772,positive,afraid
326,MentalHealthSupport,"odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.",listener_1,4,Have you tried changing when you sleep? It might be hard to do if you have certain work hours but might help,0.5994,positive,suggesting
326,MentalHealthSupport,"odd, terror filled and out of sense dreams.",speaker,5,you saved my life,0.4215,positive,neutral
327,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,speaker,1,"I just found this page, and I’m so glad to be able to talk about my anxiety. I have separation anxiety. I had it when I was younger always crying when my parents had to leave me with a babysitter, and I would sit and cry until my Parents got back. I’m now 15, and I don’t have it with my parents that much but more with my friends and my girlfriend. It just is super hard having something to hold me down most of my day. Just having a breakdown almost every other day is tough. Also while I’m a male me crying I’m very ashamed of. I just am happy though that I have good friends that help me through my day, and a wonderful girlfriend that calls me whenever I have a breakdown. I’m just hoping to find more people with this type of anxiety. Love you all Also I’m dyslexic so if I messed up on any of that please let me knowXD",0.9833,positive,joyful
327,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,listener_1,2,"I relate to this soo much. I also have separation anxiety with my boyfriend as well and I can't help but feel pathetic. I always ask myself, ""Why am I so weird? This isn't normal."" I literally cannot be without him for as long as 24 hours or else I just become a sad sack of poo. However, even though I shrivel in anxiety I tell myself I have to deal with it so that I don't become burdensome. It may not be the best way of thinking but I slowly convince myself to cope with it.",-0.9392,negative,ashamed
327,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,speaker,3,"It’s such a relief to know I’m not the only person dealing with it. I’ve been told that separation anxiety shouldn’t last more then a few months, but I have had it ever since I can remember. That’s the hard part though is having to deal with not seeing someone. My girlfriend is out of town for a whole month, and this has probably been the most tough month in a while. But thank you for sharing I really appreciate it",0.8705,positive,grateful
328,MentalHealthSupport,Free Mental Health Resource,speaker,1,Am I allowed to post a free mental health resource on here? I can't find the community rules or guidelines so I don't know if it's allowed.   ​  Thanks for any help you can provide! :),0.9041,positive,apprehensive
328,MentalHealthSupport,Free Mental Health Resource,listener_1,2,Dunno about the sub rules but thank you for your kindness. 😃,0.8885,positive,sympathizing
328,MentalHealthSupport,Free Mental Health Resource,speaker,3,You’re welcome!   Would you like to know about it? Maybe you could DM me until I get the green light that it’s okay to post on here.,0.7712,positive,suggesting
329,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me.,speaker,1,I want my doctor to take me off arripripazole/abilify and put me on something else preferably not a ssri or some thing thats much weaker iv been forced to take this ssri for over a year now and hate it ive gained so much weight cant enjoy music the same can't concentrate for more that 15 mintues and always feel sleepy/tired and drained of energy can some one help me? what excuse do I say to the doctor to get me off this medication last time I treid he just brushed my reasons aside and if I dont stay on the medication I think ill go mad again hearing voices and delusions ect so stopping is not a option and what other better medication is out there please help me if feeling very down at the moment becausr of this medication.,-0.7539,negative,questioning
329,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me.,listener_1,2,"If your current doctor is ignoring your feedback on the medicine he’s prescribed you, I would advise looking for a new doctor who is understanding that not just one type of medication works for everyone. You could also try asking your doctor for a smaller dosage, but it doesn’t really sound like he’d be too into that. Good luck, keep fighting for the help you deserve! I hope you can get put on something that helps more than it harms :)",0.9572,positive,wishing
329,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me.,speaker,3,Thank you so much for the extra courage to speak up I needed a reply like that :),0.8807,positive,grateful
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,speaker,1,"I dont know why, but I feel that this is the only place I can let off some things that are bothering me.   I'm scared that my problems are minor, compared to others. That's why I haven't been able to talk to a therapist or even a help hotline. I'm sorry if this is not the right place to post this.   I'm 23 years old and a psych student (which is pretty ironic, because I should know better, i know).   I've had my fair struggle in school, because I was being bullied from 6th to 10th grade. It was normal at our school, everyone has been bullied at least once. It has made me resent my family back then, because they were one of the factors that made others bully me.   In Gymnasium, something like high school, I was suddenly very popular and had my first girlfriend. However she left me, because I was ""too nice"" and as a revenge slept with my best friend, maybe even when we were still together. She shit talked to me about how I stole her friends and terrorized me for a long time. I was just really sad all the time.   I went to therapy and got back on track for a bit.  Found a new girlfriend, that I've been together with for 5 years now and love. However we have some problems, mostly it really messes with my self-esteem that we dont sleep together anymore. I feel really worthless and unloved. When I try to talk about it she doesnt have a reason and tells me it's just her. I try to be understanding, but I think it doesnt change.   Since Ive started university. I really started to work hard for my grades, which I never did before, and they are really good. But I feel like I dont deserve them, and I didnt feel the slightest hint of happiness. I worry a lot about my future, even if I objectively shouldnt have to. I feel empty inside. I only go out, because I feel like I need to put a mask on, that my family and friends dont worry about me. But if I'm honest, I would rather stay home all the time. But when I stay home I feel bad aswell. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore, and it drives me insane. Why do i feel like a failure, even if I know I'm doing very fine?   I just needed to write that down. Maybe it helps a little. If it's wrong on this thread, feel free to delete it.",0.5265,positive,ashamed
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,listener_1,2,People study for a career where they realise there's room to improve. You're going to make changes in psychology (either research or patients or in business) because you understand. It's not ironic. It's likely your purpose.,0.5057,positive,confident
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,speaker,3,"I know what I want to achieve, but I couldn't have possibly achieved it by know. Im too young. So how can I make it stop? I know my goal and I'm on the best way to achieve it. My ego shouldnt be messing with me.",0.631,positive,confident
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,listener_2,4,"Well, my approach to resolving issues like this involves a specific therapeutic modality. There's not really a quick and easy answer I could give you.   ​  I can point you in the direction of a free, online, private, self-led workshop that helps with issues like this. It teaches you the modality that I use. It's been really helpful for a lot of people.      But to sit down and get to the root of the issue and unravel what's going on would be like a therapy session, and I'm not a licensed therapist.      The best I can do is listen and/or redirect you to the workshop.",0.963,positive,questioning
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,speaker,5,Thank you for your reply. Put some thoughts into it. I dont really have anything to add to this though. Hope you get over it!,0.69,positive,wishing
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,speaker,6,"Thanks for your reply. I've put a lot of thought into my selected field. I've always wanted to study law. But as I got older, everything directed me towards psychology and I love every aspect of it. But I'm not going in the therapeutic direction, because of the things you stated. I want to get into research, either in social, or economic psychology. I think not finishing my education would mess with my head even more.",0.7140000000000001,positive,apprehensive
330,MentalHealthSupport,I need to get some things off my chest.,listener_3,7,I’m glad you have a plan! Do whatever you feel is best for yourself! Wishing you all the best!,0.9346,positive,wishing
331,MentalHealthSupport,Topic: severe anxiety attacks and just over all depression,speaker,1,"Hey guys. Never thought I’d be making a post on reddit about my mental health decline, but it be like that sometimes. Basically I’ve suffered from depression and severe anxiety since I was a child. I’m 19 now, and things only seem to be getting worse. I haven’t tried anti depressants or other medications because of personal reasons. However, I did invest in getting my medical marijuana card (that shit is EXPENSIVE) because I knew CBD oil had helped me before but I wanted access to a cheaper range of options. (The CBD oil i was using was about $110 a bottle and lasted me a little over a month, but I don’t make a lot of money, so it took a chunk out of my savings each time.)  Anyways, it’s been helping a lot, but for the past several weeks everything has just felt like it’s crumbling around me. Work has been shitty (which sucks, because I work with dogs so I LOVE my job), and I have been waking up every day for the last 3 weeks and just get hit instantly with a panic attack the moment I reach consciousness. Sometimes it seems triggered by something very little in my dream, other times it’s just nothing. I’m worried my mind has gotten into a routine of waking up like that, and I don’t know how to stop it. It usually takes like 2 hours to calm down completely. It’s wearing me so thin, I can’t keep feeling helpless like this anymore. Idk what to do.",-0.9709,negative,apprehensive
331,MentalHealthSupport,Topic: severe anxiety attacks and just over all depression,listener_1,2,"I have a workshop you can try. It helps with depression, anxiety, ocd, shame, anger...etc.  It’s private, online, and free. You don’t have to talk with anyone if you don’t want to. It’s not group therapy or anything like that.   Let me know if you’re interested.",0.4404,positive,trusting
331,MentalHealthSupport,Topic: severe anxiety attacks and just over all depression,speaker,3,"I mentioned earlier that i don’t want to get on medication for personal reasons, I’ve seen too many of my friends just become zombies. Plus I can’t afford to keep going to the doctor every few months to try and find something different.  If you’re referring to seeing a therapist, I can’t afford that either. Thanks America 🙄",0.743,positive,agreeing
332,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is getting worse and i don't think the treatment I'm on is helping,speaker,1,About 2 years ago i went to the doctor for chest pains and having issues with my mental health. I was then assessed and put on a waiting list. I was on this for a year but the assessment concluded i have moderate to severe anxiety and mild depression. Due to turning 18 i was then put on another waiting list as the other one was for adolescents. I feel kinda fucked over by the NHS. I now see a nurse every 3 weeks if that and for about an hour. I feel stressed going there. Stressed when I'm there and stressed afterwards. I don't feel like anything there helps. I am told things i already know and told to breathe say mantras and whatever but it doesn't work for me. I'm constantly stressed out.   I have to plan every second of my day. I have to always be thinking of what's next and what could happen and i don't think anything that is meant to help has helped at all.   Can anyone offer advice on what i should do?,-0.978,negative,apprehensive
332,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is getting worse and i don't think the treatment I'm on is helping,listener_1,2,"Did they start you on any medications? You need some prozac or welbutrin helps both anxiety and depression. Lorazapan also is good to have for when you get panic attacks, you can take it and feel better within 10 or so minutes. If your dr is not helping you then you should go to a different one. I have had to change my drs multiple times because they did not help me.",-0.7466,negative,questioning
332,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is getting worse and i don't think the treatment I'm on is helping,speaker,3,"Thanks for your advice. I'm not on medication because she doesn't want me to be on medication as I'm so young and have a family history of clots etc. I think i will consider changing my doctor. Thank you, this helped",0.6343,positive,acknowledging
332,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is getting worse and i don't think the treatment I'm on is helping,listener_1,4,"I started on meds when I was 14 and it helped me A LOT. Over the years I changed them up, sometimes I needed a larger dose, sometimes smaller. Depended on what was going on in my life. I got off of them a couple of times but always regretted that decision. I hope you can find a new Dr. who actually helps you!!",0.6634,positive,trusting
333,MentalHealthSupport,Accountability Buddies?,speaker,1,"Does anyone else feel like they don’t have many people to talk that truly understand them? That’s how I feel. I’m married, and although my husband is wonderful, he doesn’t relate to what I’m going through on a certain level.   I was just wondering if anyone would be interested in being accountability buddies where we check in on each other, vent to, etc?",0.9226,positive,lonely
333,MentalHealthSupport,Accountability Buddies?,listener_1,2,"Bet, I feel the same way. I always feel like I’m a burden to my friends",0.4019,positive,guilty
333,MentalHealthSupport,Accountability Buddies?,speaker,3,Exactly.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
333,MentalHealthSupport,Accountability Buddies?,speaker,4,That’s okay. Thank you anyways,0.5267,positive,acknowledging
333,MentalHealthSupport,Accountability Buddies?,speaker,5,"Yeah, I’m 26.",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
334,MentalHealthSupport,Help with trying to fix your enteral problems after getting sober,speaker,1,"I never really planned on using this app let alone posting on it but I'm desperately looking for information to try to help myself. I've recently, as in since March, been trying to get sober, after spending the majority of the past 12 years smoking weed, drinking and doing other things on occasion. I come from a really mentally unstable and addictive family and I grew up in some pretty fucked up conditions, so I obviously grew up with a lot of emotional issues and terrible ""coping"" mechanisms, terrible people skills, I mean I have been the most functional trainwreck as a person my entire life to sum it up. Well since I've been getting sober I've been dealing with severe anxiety, some depression, and I am really starting to think I might be bipolar due to my manic and paranoid and depressive spirals that I go through. Anyways I don't feel like I've been being a good mom, i don't feel like I've been being a good employee, I could keep going down the list but I'd rather not put every bit of my personal information out there. I just over all don't feel okay and I know I'm not functioning properly anymore and I'm scared I'm seriously emotionally hurting someone that i love a lot because I can't get my shit together. And maybe I'm hurting more than just one person during this, I can't be there for anyone the way I want and need to be. So I guess im just looking for advice and to see if  anyone that can give me information on how to start dealing with mental and emotional issues after getting sober without going to therapy or being medicated? Thank you 🖤",-0.9478,negative,ashamed
334,MentalHealthSupport,Help with trying to fix your enteral problems after getting sober,listener_1,2,"Honestly, I really feel for you - I struggle with anxiety, depression, addiction, and a few more - but if you're not willing to consider therapy or medication I don't know what to tell you. Some people are successful at improving their mental health without medication, but nobody can do it alone and if you're relying on people who are not professionals a) they may not be able to give the right advice (or worse they might give harmful advice) and b) that's putting a lot of pressure on them. Friends and family are a great source of support, but it's not fair to them to rely on them because you don't want to see a therapist.  If it helps at all, I know a lot of people find the idea of therapy scary but I find it really comforting tbh. It is important to find the right fit and not give up after a bad experience or two, but with the right therapist it can be very relaxed just like a conversation with a friend, and I find it helps me deal when I'm having a hard time because I just tell myself I can bring it up at the next session. Half the time I don't even remember it by then, but in the moment it helps me calm down and put things in perspective.",0.9885,positive,caring
334,MentalHealthSupport,Help with trying to fix your enteral problems after getting sober,speaker,3,"Thank you. The reason I say without therapy is because 1. I work 7 days a week and I honestly don't have time to go to therapy and 2. I know you said don't let a few bad experiences stop me from looking but there are not many options in my area and I have yet to find a therapist I feel actually helps me I don't try to rely on my support group to help me get through things, I guess I don't really rely on anyone or anything which is why I'm trying to find some kind of help now. I don't want to be an awful person. And I don't want to feel awful all the time.",0.5919,positive,lonely
334,MentalHealthSupport,Help with trying to fix your enteral problems after getting sober,speaker,4,That's true. I appreciate your feedback.,0.6705,positive,agreeing
335,MentalHealthSupport,Im worried about my mental health,speaker,1,"So, i made this account just to ask for help on what i should do as i think i have bad mental health, im also going to leave out a lot of details due to me not wanting to be identified. sorry for my bad grammar and vocabulary its because im not from an english speaking country and im on phone.   ( im under 17, im not going to reveal my exact age though)  I dont really know how i am supposed to start this thread/post but here we go.  I was bullied from before pre-school... a lot, tge worst was from 0 - 3rd grade though i would get beat down every break not even trying to fight back because i was afraid of breaking rules, i tried to use the rules to get away from some of the bullies, i remember 1 thing very explicitly, it was in year 1 i think in the winter, i accidentally threw a snowball at one of the bullies who were in grade 5 - 7 i dont remember exactly but what i do remember is that as soon as he turned around i knew he and his friends were going to beat me down, so i ran, i ended up being chased into one of the houses on my school, i probably would have gotten away if it wasnt because of how afraid i was of breaking the rules, so i stopped right before i got into the corridors because you werent allowed to wear shoes inside, hoping that they wouldnt break the rule of going inside with shoes.. needless to say, they cought me... when i was maybe 10 or 9 i tried to kill myself but was stopped by my sister, i later got put into therapy for a long time ( i think all of this really fucked up my mind) and for some reason i am thankful to all my bullies... i have an incredibly high pain tolerance and people cant hurt me with words, but i still have a lot of anger internalized, i some times get urges to kill, i sometimes see possibilities of killing a lot of people... im afraid someday i wont resist, i once jokingly picked up a butcher knife and had to resist the temptation of killing 2 members of my family... please i dont want to contact anyone in real life due to the shame of having to talk about it, it feels like a betrayal even now..",-0.9958,negative,embarrassed
335,MentalHealthSupport,Im worried about my mental health,listener_1,2,"Holy cow kid, we need to get you some help! Best way to handle this is going to be up to you in the end. You must choose to get help, the way I started seeking help for myself was calling the crisis line. Most countries have one. Yours might be referred to as a suicide hotline. When I was scared of what getting treatment might mean it was a good way of getting help without being brought immediately to the hospital. (Has happened to me dozens of times in college and is kind of uncomfortable..)  That said if you are on the verge on doing something the hospital is absolutely your best option. I almost killed myself when I was 20 years old and had so much to live for, if I had not told someone to bring me to the hospital I would not be here today.  I have an amazing life but as a teen I thought it would always be as bleak as it felt then. I was wrong.  [one resource that provides text consoling to the U.K., US, and Canada ](https://www.crisistextline.org/international/)",-0.2853,negative,apprehensive
335,MentalHealthSupport,Im worried about my mental health,speaker,3,"I will look into it, thank you.",0.3612,positive,wishing
336,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, i need some advice about life i feel apathy and my desire to live is like a weak flame that can be blown out anytime.",speaker,1,"I am a handicapped person and suffered from chronic depression when i’m 15 years old, i was succumbed to depression and despair for more than two years. During that time it feels like hell there were no seconds pass by that i didn’t think of commiting suicide, it’s a living hell. When i finally go to college i just took the online learning system so i can study at home. During my 1st and 2nd year it felt like i’m walking on a long and dark tunnel aimlessly and alone, the atmosphere were filled by hopelessness and despair that anytime i can give up on college but then i learned a hobby and somehow it helps me to pass through that helpessness. During my Third year (last year) in college it feels like i could finally see the light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. The glimpse of the light keeps me motivated to keep moving forward through out my course, the more light i see the more motivated i become, i’m motivated to seek out that light and grasp it within my hand. After the graduation, when i finally grasped that light and made out of that tunnel, there was nothing except for that light, neither despair nor hope. Now i don’t kow what’s my next objective in life, i feel so unmotivated. Maybe this is because of the after-effect of depression.",0.3754,positive,afraid
336,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, i need some advice about life i feel apathy and my desire to live is like a weak flame that can be blown out anytime.",listener_1,2,"Unfortunately, you are hitting the area of your life of “now what do I do?”.  Post college blues my dear.  I sense your strong willed nature and you just gotta hold on!  Join in a community group or volunteer to soak up some of that time in between.  Write down your goals, and I mean, actually write them down.  Nothing compares to placing a physical check mark against something you’ve accomplished!  It will get better. 🖤",0.9458,positive,disappointed
336,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, i need some advice about life i feel apathy and my desire to live is like a weak flame that can be blown out anytime.",speaker,3,Thank you for the advice but i don’t know what goal should i star,0.1901,positive,neutral
337,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know what to do,speaker,1,Im a woman  and I have paranoia. Ocd . Depression.  Anxiety.  I should be on medication I know but im scared of taking it. My ocd is getting worse. I'm a mess. I have constant panic attacks  when I was younger I was bullied really badly by both girls and boys  nearly everyday. And at college and at work too. Also my father and mother have never gave me any real love. My father used to put me down and smack me. So hard once I had a blister from a slipper he hit me with.  Stood on a teddy from my late grandfather. I know need constant validation from men  . I look on men as away to save me from myself  no idea why. I've had therapy but I don't know what to do next.,-0.9817,negative,terrified
337,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know what to do,listener_1,2,"I suffer from PTSD, ADHD, Depression and anxiety.  I never took any meds till this year. I was placed on 75mg of  Wellbutrin I take during the day and 2mg of Guanfacine for the past four weeks. So far, I see an improvement.   It’s important to see a therapist and psychiatrist that will do what you would feel comfortable with as I did.  I voiced my concerns on certain side effects I was afraid of and my psychiatrist figured out which meds would work to avoid those certain concerns.  I would also recommend a blood test to check to see if you are deficient in any areas prior to agreeing to any meds.  For example I had low vitamin D (borderline vampire) and that can cause depression.   I feel for you and I hope nothing but the best. Xo",-0.5191,negative,trusting
337,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know what to do,speaker,3,I think I need to take another trip to the doctor then and talk with them more. And try and find more help. Thank you for your advice. It means a lot.i wish you all the best too . Xo,0.9131,positive,wishing
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,speaker,1,"I still don't understand...  I've had IPT and CBT, both are identical to me - sit and talk about your week, with zero focus on the causes of depression or addressing thoughts.   I feel like there must be some secret code or handshake to actually access therapy, I can't believe that sitting making small talk is what therapy is supposed to be like but this is what I'm experiencing time and time again in therapy.   Note: I'm in UK so get 12 hour long sessions, and I don't get to pick my therapist. I've 3 sessions left then I'll have to wait a year before I get therapy again. Not sure what I'll do in the meantime.   What *should* therapy involve?   Am I unreasonable in thinking it should be more than this? I've tried asking for more but it still returns to small talk and ignoring my depression.",-0.9053,negative,surprised
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_1,2,"Doesn’t CBT address your thoughts? In my therapy, we generally never discuss the root or the cause, as the triggers are different, and the triggers are sometimes things outside of my control.  Instead, what we work on is addressing the negative behaviors that cause my depresive episodes, identifying warning signs (that I’m about to start an episode), and knowing how to cope or manage these episodes.",-0.7269,negative,questioning
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,speaker,3,"No, we don't discuss thoughts in CBT.   I've asked for CBT and it feels like that's what they're continuing with, but I think my therapist has decided CBT isn't helpful in my situation.  I don't have behaviour that keeps me depressed, part of the cause is having nothing to do but that's beyond my control. To me it's pointless addressing behaviour without getting to the root cause and addressing thoughts/feelings anyway.",-0.7716,negative,sad
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,speaker,4,"I agree they should be focusing in causes and helping me solve the problem, I've specifically stated I need tools to help myself. It is talking therapy, that's the only therapy there is.   See question re. how long and different therapist.",0.6705,positive,agreeing
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_2,5,Totally agree!,0.474,positive,agreeing
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_3,6,"From this description it sounds like your therapist has not done an adequate job of educating you on CBT.  > To me it's pointless addressing behaviour without getting to the root cause and addressing thoughts/feelings anyway.  CBT really *is* meant to be just that, addressing the thoughts and feelings that *fuel* the behaviors (which we then incorporate into thoughts...). Learning how to recognize those connections and manage or improve them.  I wanted to share this self led workbook for Depression; the materials on this site are based on CBT : https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Depression",0.3036,positive,questioning
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_1,7,"I see. I suggest you bring this up to your therapist, especially since you’re on your last 3 sessions. I think therapists have different personalities and styles, and it’s unfortunate that you’re unable to select one that matches what you need. Maybe if you let them know what help you actually need from them, they can adjust accordingly, and help you make the most out of your remaining sessions.",0.34,positive,suggesting
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_2,8,"I'm going to go ahead and tell you to try this: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org). The modality used in this worked for me.     Other than that, I'd be looking for a different therapist because there's more out there than just talk therapists.",0.0,neutral,trusting
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,speaker,9,"Thanks. Alas I have on more than one occasion, I specifically told the supervisor this is what I needed prior to being assigned this therapist too.   I really don't see anything helpful coming from these last three sessions at all, I guess I just needed it conformed for me that I'm not being unreasonable in wanting more than just chat.",-0.1361,negative,disappointed
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,speaker,10,"I'm defiantly not getting CBT, not getting anything at all that addresses thoughts/feelings.   Thank you for that link, I've seen workbooks like this before which I think might be beneficial for me with guidance, I've been trying to find something similar to show my therapists what I think might benefit me.",0.872,positive,faithful
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_4,11,What's CBT and DBT?,0.0,neutral,questioning
338,MentalHealthSupport,What SHOULD happen in therapy?,listener_5,12,"CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that is focused on  examining and changing thoughts and behaviors that contribute to mental health problems. DBT stands for Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and is a type of CBT that is more focused on developing coping skills for emotional regulation. DBT is the most effective treatment for Borderline Personality disorder, but it’s also super useful for anxiety, depression, bipolar, and other disorders as well.",0.807,positive,neutral
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,speaker,1,"I posted in here a couple of days ago asking if anyone knew if I was allowed to post about a free mental health resource. No one ever answered my question, so I'm just going to go ahead and post. If it's against the rules, then just delete it.      I created a free, private, online, self-paced workshop for people suffering from depression, anxiety, OCD, feelings of suicide, shame, guilt, anger, relationship problems, low self-esteem, feelings of isolation and loneliness...etc.     This is TOTALLY free. There is no hook, hidden cost, and no one will be selling your information. I am merely a human being who feels the desire to help others with mental health issues and people who are looking for options. This is a labor of love and a not-for-profit endeavor. There is no agenda here other than trying to provide healing to those who want it.  ​  Once again, this is private. You *can* talk to others if you want to, but you don't have to. No one has to know what you're going through.   ​  I created a workshop for teens/high school students and another one for adults. It is accessible through your phone, tablet, and computer for people all over the world.  ​  Here's is more information about the workshop: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  ​  And here is the link to the workshops themselves: [https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/pages/courses](https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/pages/courses)  ​  I encourage you to go to the website first before going directly to the workshops since the website has more information about the workshops.      If anyone has any questions let me know.     If this doesn't belong here, feel free to delete it.   ​  Much love. :)",0.9612,positive,apprehensive
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,listener_1,2,Thanks for this!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,listener_2,3,did you start it?,0.0,neutral,questioning
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,speaker,4,You are very welcome! :),0.7823,positive,acknowledging
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,speaker,5,"The program I'm teaching was created by a licensed psychologist. I just teach the modality. So yes, I created the workshop.",0.7753,positive,confident
339,MentalHealthSupport,Free Online Mental Health Resource,listener_1,6,Me? No. I think /u/you_are_marvelous did.,0.0,neutral,neutral
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,speaker,1,The likelihood is that someone won't see this but i need to vent and let out my feelings. I can't keep going on like this where i keep thinking this week is bad i can get through till the next one cause i know that the next one won't be better it'll be the exact same. I watch my life spiral and do nothing. I feel lonely and as a result distance myself. My friends have stopped caring at this point honestly but i don't know if i can be bothered to reach out. I just wanted to vent tbh.,0.7473,positive,lonely
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,listener_1,2,"I know the feeling all too well. Pushed pretty much everyone out. The only friend I have is the kind of person who says, ""just smile"" because he believes mental health is bull. Loneliness sucks big time. Even gaming which is my outlet is becoming dull. But I joint here today in hopes to find others like me so I can make a new friend that understands me and I can understand them. Just know we aren't alone in this, there are others that feel the same way as us and venting on here lets us know we aren't alone in this. We need to talk and vent to help ourselves and others.",0.9651,positive,lonely
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,speaker,3,This really helped me. Thank you. None of my friends really get it and they just make jokes about it. I'm sorry you feel like i do,0.5283,positive,sympathizing
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,listener_1,4,I'm glad it helped. I'm always available to talk if you ever need to vent it out for someone to actually listen.,0.4588,positive,grateful
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,speaker,5,Likewise,0.0,neutral,agreeing
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,speaker,6,This is really kind thank you,0.7559,positive,sympathizing
340,MentalHealthSupport,I feel really lonely all the time.,speaker,7,I'm sorry you feel like that too thank you,0.5719,positive,sympathizing
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,speaker,1,"It’s gotten to the point where I can’t go to the bathroom without turning the lights off and covering my head with something so I can’t see around me. I have problems getting in the shower because I feel like they are staring at me. I can’t see them but I know they are there all the time. I don’t play certain music because I know they don’t like those songs, I can’t think about anything because I know they can hear my thoughts. Sometimes I know they are next to me and I won’t do anything until they are gone. What the fuck is happening",0.4854,positive,embarrassed
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,listener_1,2,"Is sounds like you may be having some psychosis, are you safe right now? Do you need medical attention? I have a friend with schizoaffective disorder and she has similar delusions in times of stress. YOU WILL BE OKAY, but you must do your best to decrease your chances of doing something that you may not think of when in your rational mind. Please get help ASAP!",0.9585,positive,terrified
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,speaker,3,Well I’m 13 and I’m in the process of seeing a psychiatrist for symptoms of depression..I really don’t wanna tell them this because it might ruin my future if I’m diagnosed with something really bad. I’m not gonna be Able to get help for at least 6 weeks and I’m suicidal and I can’t function properly when I always feel like I’m being watched. I talk to Myself all day and I know the people outside are watching me...maybe I’m just crazy...but don’t worry I’m not gonna hurt myself,-0.7856,negative,apprehensive
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,listener_1,4,Crazy is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t slap labels on yourself or sell yourself short. Also diagnosis is just assigning a name to your set of symptoms. It’s just a means of categorizing your experiences so you can get the right help for you. Just keep swimming....,0.2263,positive,questioning
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,speaker,5,Ok I will try and talk to someone...my mom thinks all of this is bullshit,-0.3818,negative,consoling
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,speaker,6,Thank you I’ll try,0.3612,positive,wishing
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,listener_2,7,*most problems,-0.4576,negative,agreeing
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,listener_3,8,"Hey, VakZok, just a quick heads-up:   **therefor** is actually spelled **therefore**. You can remember it by **ends with -fore**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,annoyed
341,MentalHealthSupport,I constantly feel like I’m being watched,listener_2,9,Delete,0.0,neutral,angry
342,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for someone to talk to?,speaker,1,"Didn't know if this is the right place to post this kind of thing but I joined this subreddit a few hours back and read quite a few posts here to feel like I can talk about stuff safely here.  I saw a post about looking for some kind of accountabilabuddy, someone to talk to the would check on you and you do the same back. Forming a strong bondage of friendship in helping each other. Well I thought it was an amazing idea and I'd like to look for the same.   I'm a 28 year old male, from the UK. I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD. I suffered with agoraphobia for many years but it's not so bad now.   Talking to people online could be of great use to me as I don't have many friends or family and none of them understand mental health.  I'm also an avid playstation gamer, gaming is very relaxing so gaming with someone I can also talk to would be great.    Again, I wasn't sure if this is the correct place to post, sorry in advance.",0.9873,positive,trusting
342,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for someone to talk to?,listener_1,2,"I would volunteer because I love gaming too, but I game on Xbox! You’re always free to message me if you want though.",0.8313,positive,caring
342,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for someone to talk to?,speaker,3,"We can bond on games tho, doesn't matter the console really. We can still discuss certain parts of games :) You are always welcome to message me too",0.7921,positive,agreeing
342,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for someone to talk to?,speaker,4,"Thank you, that would be a great help.  Mental health doesnt have an age range so late 40s means nothing :)",0.7795,positive,acknowledging
342,MentalHealthSupport,Looking for someone to talk to?,speaker,5,"I just realized it was your post I saw the idea too. So thank you, I wanted to message you on your post but I thought that was your way of finding someone to talk to so I didn't want to change the subject onto me there :)",0.6589,positive,neutral
343,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like I'm at the end of the line.,speaker,1,"I writing this down as I'm laying down in bed, feeling paralyzed to my anxiety and depression. I have no where to go and nothing to do. My birthday is coming up and I dread this day every year. A few years back my neighbors moved away on my birthday and I was really close to them. 2 years ago my dog of 12 years passed away and my girlfriend left me days later by breaking up with me via text and this year my best friends are moving away on the day of my birthday. I feel so alone in this world, I have no one to hold close to me at night, no one to talk to and no one to hang out with. I know my parents do care, and bless them they do there best. But they don't know what to say anymore besides the basic ""do your best"" and ""tomorrow will be better"" I'm at the point where these words just go in one ear and out the other. I have tried therapy but it just never worked for me. It all felt so disingenuous, someone you don't know you pay to talk to. (From my personal experience) I try to focus on the good in my life and I truly do believe that I'm well off. But the fear of the future and what it has to offer stops me dead in my tracks and prevents me from enjoying things in the moment. I have 0 confidence in my self what so ever and rarely see accomplishments in myself because I'm too busy comparing myself to others. The things I do enjoy like drawing, working on cars  gaming and video editing are mostly unenjoyable because I dont feel good enough at doing these tasks, so I just stop and don't do them. I don't consider myself to be an attractive person, I see every flaw in myself no chin, big nose, slightly overweight and the list can go on. People poke jokes at these traits and although I know that there joking I can't help but feel like a disgusting monster that deserves nothing but to die. I feel scared to try new things I would love to travel but how can I when it bothers me to use a restroom somewhere else besides my home. I would say that has something to do with my OCD which has been another long and restless battle, since the age of 7 (now 21 on july 16th) I find it hard to sleep at night especially days I don't work?? Cant explain what that is. I don't really like my job anymore due to all the drama and bullshit of being put down by a co worker. Granted he puts everyone down but lack of effort his insecurities and inability to care about people he works with makes life a living hell, especially for me. You see I'm a Automotive Service Technician Apprentice (Mechanic) and for that reason he doesn't trust me with a whole lot second guessing everything I do. Saying stuff like ""no that's not how you do it"" it should also be noted that he is not a Technician and just a office person. It wouldn't be as bad if he didn't blame me for shit. if something he did/ self diagnosed goes wrong it's my fault and he'll spread all the shit he needs to, to get away with it. But I do offen ask myself, do I want to be a mechanic? do I fit here? This job does have it's perks but the money is not good. The fully licensed mechanics only make $21 an hour... I ask myself with the way the housing market is, can I afford that? I also have alot of panic attacks at work especially. Due to the severity of the job and how important it is to do it right so no one gets hurt by my doing. It feels like my lifes path has already been predetermined and nothing I do will fix it. I go back to college this upcoming January and I hate it. My least favorite teacher is taking over the other classes because the other teacher is retiring. I remember my first week of college I asked him a question about engines and he said. ""If you don't understand why are you here"", then he gave me a card for a special needs class. I have alot of thoughts going through my head right now. And it doesn't stop, it never does. I feel like I'm in a mall food court, a thousand chattering voices at once unable to understand anything. I have tried dating sites on and off for the past year and a half. It's gotten me no where I talk a bit then they go silent because I didn't keep a one sided conversation going. I don't like to state that I'm different, because it's kind of a double edged sword, saying you're different makes you like everyone else because everyone else says their different. Talk about an oxymoron situation. But I truly feel different I don't drink, don't party, I don't fish, camp, hunt or do drugs people say I'm too uptight and not adventurous but I don't like that kind of stuff. I have been feeling stupid for the past couple of years now but can't help feeling smart at the same time. I have developed a hatred for people in the past year wich sucks because I use to be very social way back. Now I just see assholes, abusive people that are self centered, people who don't care about other people's stuff and people hurting other people. Just last week there was a stabbing like 2 places down from my work. How can people be such monsters it scares me to live in a world like this. There is so much more on my mind but it feels like useless clutter and I also feel like I have been rambling for the past 40 paragraphs so I'm going to stop here. I completely understand if people don't read this or respond. I have been coping with this by myself for what feels like forever so what's about 40- 50 years alone. It has helped me alot to write this down and just see how I'm feeling one thought at a time (if that makes any sense) I don't believe things will get any better but then again I'm a glass half empty kind of person so I guess we will wait and see. Hopefully I'll be able to enjoy life again someday or at least be able to finally close my eyes and rest.",-0.9926,negative,lonely
343,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like I'm at the end of the line.,listener_1,2,"Hello, friend. I hope you know that while I don’t know you, I’ve read your paragraphs and I understand how you feel. I deeply relate with a lot of the things that you have been going through with the therapist, workplace and school issues, and being able to enjoy life. I also dislike where my life is going yet I can’t find a way to change it for the better. From what you’ve said, I think that you’ve been really mistreated and misjudged by a lot of people and I hope that their cruelty and ignorance won’t hold you down. I hope you find your passion for drawing, building cars, video games, and anything else that you’ve lost interest in. And I hope you come to find happiness :)  If you would ever like to talk, my PM will always be open!",0.975,positive,agreeing
343,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like I'm at the end of the line.,speaker,3,Thanks for all the kind words buddy! I hope you figure things out as well :),0.9273,positive,encouraging
343,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like I'm at the end of the line.,speaker,4,"Yeah it feels so hectic I can barely hear my own thoughts, unfortunately I'm already on medication and I'm on the waiting list for mental care from the Hospital, they say that I'm not a big priority right now (story of my life) and my next doctor appointment is in November. My doctor wants me to go through the summer with these meds first before upping them or switching them. To see if they're ""right"" for me, the only improvement I seen is my anger and panic attacks have improved. But I still get the thoughts of leaving this place, the feeling of worthlessness, loneliness and crippling anxiety. Thanks for the reply though it means the world to me that's someone is actually listening :)",0.631,positive,anxious
344,MentalHealthSupport,How do I make friends again,speaker,1,"I used to have loads of friends. Most fucked me over. Others distanced themselves or I distanced from them.  Growing up I was bullied a lot. Since then I’ve developed a number of mental health issues. Crippling anxiety. Depression. Insomnia. I also can’t socialise at all.   I havnt had a conversation with anyone other than my long term GF and family for months. My group of friends moved away, distanced.   I try talking to people, but my mannerisms seem to make them uncomfortable. Forced eye contact. Sweating. Shaking.  Or I might not look at them at all, talk in hushed whispers and seem deflated.   I just, ive forgotten how to socialise, no one talks to me and I’ve gotten scared of talking to anyone else. Being in college alone sucks, I just don’t know what to do anymore.   My depression has gotten so bad, It’s made me have urges to self harm and end it.   Idk, it’s hard to admit this",-0.9926,negative,lonely
344,MentalHealthSupport,How do I make friends again,listener_1,2,I’m going through the same thing. I used to have a big group of friends in high school and now I don’t have anyone. I did manage to make one friend where I live now and then they had to move away.,0.743,positive,lonely
344,MentalHealthSupport,How do I make friends again,speaker,3,"It sucks, I just hope you get better and so do I. Hopefully this is just a bad chapter in our lives we will overcome",0.4144,positive,consoling
344,MentalHealthSupport,How do I make friends again,listener_1,4,"Just take it one day at a time, maybe find some internet friends if you’re open to that? Might be easier at first. That’s what I’m thinking of doing",0.7096,positive,suggesting
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,speaker,1,I have been in and out of therapy for years. I’m not sure if it is actually working or if I’m just waisting my time. I feel like i don’t get anything out of it but I also don’t know what other methods I have while trying to recover from my eating disorder anxiety and depression. HELP,-0.6938,negative,apprehensive
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,listener_1,2,Have you tried different therapists? Or different forms of therapy? It can take a long time to find the right match! It’s probably not working if you don’t feel there’s been any change!,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,speaker,3,True.... I have seen a couple different people with different specialties and types of therapy. I just don’t get how talking is supposed to fix everything...?,0.4215,positive,agreeing
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,listener_1,4,Well it won’t fix it quickly which sucks..  it’s supposed to help figure out what’s behind it.. such as trauma and then work on helping you cope with it in a way that makes you feel better instead of more depressed.,0.0018,neutral,neutral
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,speaker,5,I wish it was easier,0.6705,positive,neutral
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,listener_1,6,I know. I’m sorry I wis so to.. 😪 I can say that I had a therapist who I thought was working for me but I switched two more times and I’ve finally found someone who understands me and she’ll even text me encouraging things and I’m definitely coping and feeling better so I think it’s sadly a lot of trial and error,0.7469,positive,sympathizing
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,speaker,7,That’s amazing!! I’m happy that things are working out for you!,0.8547,positive,acknowledging
345,MentalHealthSupport,How do I know therapy is working? I feel just as lost...,listener_1,8,Thanks I hope it works out for you too!,0.7263,positive,encouraging
346,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I hear a certain sound I freak out, am I having a panic attack or is this a normal reaction to being afraid?",speaker,1,"I dont know if this is the right place to post something like this but I dont know where else to post it, if anyone knows a better subreddit, please comment it, thank you.  There is a certain sound that triggers a very big reaction from me, and honestly, I've faced so much judgement from my family and friends for being afraid of this, telling me I'm overreacting or being dramatic. So I dont think sharing it here is gonna garner a different reaction, so I'll call the sound....the sound, I guess lol  This is a sound that becomes more common during the summer time, so during the colder months, I dont have to worry about the sound. But in the summer time it's a very common sound and I get really freaked out, and i mean like freaked.  I cover my ears, cry, and breathe so heavy you would think I ran a hundred kilometers. One time the sound was in my house and I just screamed and screamed while crying trying to drown out the sound  before just hiding where the sound wasn't.   The sound isnt particularly loud but when I hear it up close I get really freaked out. But i dont exactly know how to categorize my freak out. Is it just that, a freak out? Or can it be considered a panic attack?   Also...do you know how I can get my family and friends to understand my fear? I have one friend, who has a fear of spiders, and I dont, so whenever she sees a spider, I take care of it for her, and vice versa. But the friends who dont have a fear like she does, they dont seem to understand my fear like she does, probably because they've never been in the shoes of someone who has been afraid like that before.   So what I'm trying to ask is, how can I get the people around me to understand my fear and help me if the sound is nearby and comfort me after my freak out? Because I have to be screaming and crying and begging for them to take any action, and my brother uses the fear against me, sometimes purposefully getting the sound near me as a form of revenge or something...  Anyway yeah, thank you for listening, and if you have any advice for me, that would be great",-0.8965,negative,apprehensive
346,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I hear a certain sound I freak out, am I having a panic attack or is this a normal reaction to being afraid?",listener_1,2,"I don’t know you very well, but if you are reacting enough to the sound where you start to cry and can’t function well, then that sounds like more that typical nervousness to me. If this is something that is causing you a large amount of distress, i think it would be worth discussing with a therapist. Anxiety and phobias are luckily quite treatable, and it’s worth finding out what your options are. If nothing else, getting a professional opinion would hopefully make it so your family and friends could take your situation more seriously.",0.4518,positive,suggesting
346,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I hear a certain sound I freak out, am I having a panic attack or is this a normal reaction to being afraid?",speaker,3,"I see, thank you very much!",0.4199,positive,acknowledging
347,MentalHealthSupport,I need inpatient but my parents refuse to admit me,speaker,1,"I need inpatient. I'm suffering badly from PTSD. I can barely function in the outside world. I can't keep my cool in class. I hide in bathrooms to escape confronting people. I'm scared I'm going to relapse into self harm again and resort to that.  I've been inpatient before, after a much regretted suicide attempt. I hated it at the time. I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to catch up on all the schoolwork I was missing.  My parents despise the psych ward. I love it. It creates such a structured environment. A living situation where I feel safe, stable, and cared for. I know they can help me, I just know it. I just need to give them the chance.  I argue with my parents over this all the time. We scream and shout and cry and I usually end up getting flashbacks because of the emotional overload.  I just want to hop in a Lyft and book it down to the mental hospital. I want to admit myself into the adolescent inpatient program, bit I think I'm too young to do so without parental consent. I'm 14.   Everything that reminds me of that hospital makes me feel good. Calm, safe, secure, cared for.   One time I made my room to look like my room at the ward. My parents were furious and we had a back and forth absolute screaming match about it. My mom asked me if I was on my period. Fuck that. Fuck her. Fuck me.   I fucking hate this, get me out.",-0.9814,negative,afraid
347,MentalHealthSupport,I need inpatient but my parents refuse to admit me,listener_1,2,"I’m pretty sure if you talk to a professional and explain you feel your a danger to yourself that they have to admit you wether your parents consent or not. They have a responsibility to keep you safe.   Also you should ask them for resources outside of the hospital since it sadly is structured and secluded from reality and you won’t be able to live your life there forever, I know it sucks.. I’ve been through this too. I think learning to cope In the outside world is the best thing you can do for yourself. Once your not in a crisis of course.   I would go to the hospital and speak to someone if you feel you are in crisis. Or reach out to a crisis line.",0.2008,positive,agreeing
347,MentalHealthSupport,I need inpatient but my parents refuse to admit me,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, this really helps. I will try that, thank you ❤️",0.7841,positive,wishing
347,MentalHealthSupport,I need inpatient but my parents refuse to admit me,listener_1,4,Your welcome!❤️,0.5093,positive,wishing
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,speaker,1,"I’m sorry if this is long.  So I think I’m depressed but I haven’t gotten diagnosed so I don’t want to flat out say I am.  I want to know but I cant go to a doctor bc I don’t my parents know about my feelings.   I feel just terrible all the time. And I have to distract myself from how I feel. But sometimes that barely works. I used to do video edits and draw. But I can’t do either of those anymore. It worried me. But I keep telling myself I’m taking a break from it?   I’ve had suicidal thoughts for a long time.  And I’ve attempted once. I was recommended to a school counselor. But they had 2 sessions with me Ans completely just gave up on me and basically told me that how I felt was my fault. And that makes me feel like if they gave up on me. Why wouldn’t a therapist give up on me?   I have thoughts about my future and how it might turn out. And in every scenario I can’t see it going well.   I’m 18, I have a strict mother who is always on my back. I can’t do anything without her knowing about it.  so I can’t go to the doctor and get help without my parents knowing. (Id really prefer they didn’t know) I’ve tried to just help myself. But I feel myself getting closer to another attempt and idk what to do.   Am I just being a crybaby? Or do I actually need professional help?  This makes no sense. I’m sorry. I just needed to get that out there.",-0.8231,negative,ashamed
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,listener_1,2,"It sounds like you are depressed! You’ve lost interest in things and are consumed by harmful thoughts. Maybe try calling a crisis line and see if they have any resources or information that can help you!  Also I know it’s easier said the done so I don’t mean this to diminish it in any way!!   Your parents (I would think) would rather you get help and be alive then loose you 😬🥺 I really hope your able to find a way to get help! Just remember to that you have to live the life you deserve ( and again, I know that’s not easy! I just mean that I hope you can find a way to get help because you want to live your life feeling better I’m sure!!) sorry if I’m assuming things to much! Don’t know if this helps?",0.9631,positive,suggesting
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,speaker,3,Thank you for replying. I’ve thought about calling one. But my mom checks my call logs so I was worried she’d she that. And yeah. But thank you very much. I appreciate ur hopefulness,0.899,positive,wishing
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,listener_1,4,You can always delete it and I don’t think it will show that you deleted one.  Also there’s online options :  Us: https://www.crisistextline.org Canada : https://kidshelpphone.ca/text/  Not sure which country your in!,-0.308,negative,apprehensive
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,speaker,5,"Yes you’re right, thank you, I can try",0.6369,positive,agreeing
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,speaker,6,Thank you very much,0.3612,positive,wishing
348,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed?,listener_1,7,You welcome,0.4588,positive,sympathizing
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",speaker,1,"I’ve had several bouts of anxiety and depression throughout my life, and really don’t want it to come back again. I tried several antidepressant medications and they all made my depression worse, so I’m looking for behavioral changes that I can make that could be helpful. At this point my symptoms are pretty mild but I feel like they’ll get worse if left unchecked. I’ve had 2 anxiety attacks in the past 3 weeks and am feeling a bit of anhedonia if that helps at all.",-0.6663,negative,afraid
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",listener_1,2,"Monitoring my thoughts and positive self-talk has helped me a bit with my mental illness and anxiety. Maybe try keeping a mood chart that tracks how you're feeling every day and it will help you recognize patterns that might be causing you to feel down. Keeping busy helps too, I was severely depressed when I was unemployed and stopped doing the things I enjoy in life. Now I'm working full-time and staying active with my hobbies and it's like my mind doesn't have the time to overthink and dwell on the negatives in my life. Hope this helps.",0.9118,positive,nostalgic
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",speaker,3,"Thanks! Do you have a favorite mood chart setup? I already use a bullet journal, so I could add one pretty easily.",0.8955,positive,questioning
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",listener_1,4,I've seen a few cool ideas that involve drawing different colours on petals of flowers based on how you feel each day.   https://cloudberryjournals.com/2018/08/03/mood-tracker-101/,0.3182,positive,impressed
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",speaker,5,"That one’s so pretty! What kind did you use? I’m fairly artistic, but the idea of spending time setting up anything too complicated is overwhelming to me, so the simpler the better.",0.8415,positive,questioning
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",listener_1,6,"Personally I don't use a mood chart. I just practice positive self-talk and try to monitor my thoughts, that way I can tell when I'm about to spiral. But my girlfriend showed me one of these that she used in her journal and I thought it was a good idea. I'm sure there are patterns you could print off that aren't coloured if you don't want to spend the time drawing it. You could also look into adult colouring books for reducing anxiety and helping you relax. My mom has been doing them for a few years and she absolutely loves them.",0.9556,positive,sentimental
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",speaker,7,"Ah ok, thanks!",0.4926,positive,acknowledging
349,MentalHealthSupport,"Any advice and/or resources for (hopefully) preventing depression/anxiety from coming back? I’m (relatively) in remission right now, but it’s starting to creep back and Im afraid of it possibly escalating further.",speaker,8,"Thanks! While my situation seems to be a bit different from yours, mindfulness and staying in the moment is definitely useful. I’m in an internship furthering my career and doing things I love, so I definitely have meaning already, but just don’t feel as productive or like I’m having as much fun as I used to when doing the same activities (although I’m guessing part of that is due to the stress of being a new intern). I hadn’t thought about the meaning behind it in a while, so thank you for the reminder!",0.9537,positive,agreeing
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,speaker,1,I have no clue what is going on right now. I have terrible “anxiety” for almost everything I do now.  Even though I’m not diagnosed it drives me insane not knowing if anything is wrong with me or I’m overreacting. Every morning since 7th grade (going into 10th now) I’ve checked every book in my backpack to make sure I have it. I will repeat that the whole 15 minute ride to school for almost 3 years. I would check my uniform and what I was wearing before I left even though i was fine. I had terrible anxiety about forgetting things and would always over prepare. I won’t  go to school events any more because I’m so scared. I’m scared of people and what they might say. I would sometimes sit in my room and cry by myself because my anxiety was so bad for a basic task that would happen the next day. For almost 3 summers I can’t do anything because my mind is holding me back. I will freak out everyday of summer because I’m scared for school. I set up to 7 reminders a day for myself for things in 3 months because I am afraid to forget.   I want to know what’s wrong. I want answers from someone. I try to tell my parents but they always come back and say “you just worry to much” I try to explain that it’s so bad to the point I have to repeat things to myself just to prove something is happening. And I feel stupid now because I can’t get any help and I’m just stuck.,-0.986,negative,anxious
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,listener_1,2,I’m in the same boat. The worst is when stuff just repeat in your head and make everything a humiliating memory to the point that you’re afraid to say or do anything cuz it gives you more ammunition against yoursekg,-0.743,negative,agreeing
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,speaker,3,"Yea it sucks and things start to stack up so i start to repeat like 3-4 things constantly and even ""zone out"" and be even more embarassed.",0.0,neutral,embarrassed
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,speaker,4,They have counselors but they aren't big into mental health problems without a diagnosis but really just already diagnosed problems that they can have answers for,-0.7964,negative,neutral
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,speaker,5,Yea from what mostly it looks like its a good place to look at as a start to figure all this out,0.6597,positive,acknowledging
350,MentalHealthSupport,I need answers,listener_2,6,Is it possible for you to talk to them anyway? Maybe they could even book a therapy appointment for you so you can get diagnosed?,0.0,neutral,suggesting
351,MentalHealthSupport,schizoaffective disorder bipolar type family member,speaker,1,My mom recently got diagnosed and it’s the first time anybody in my family has came across  this major issue. My mother has always been incredibly antisocial and stand-off with other. Since being diagnosed she has a tendency to become violent with people around her.   How can I cope with major shift in my family?  Mentally/physically/emotionally/spiritually,-0.5994,negative,anxious
351,MentalHealthSupport,schizoaffective disorder bipolar type family member,listener_1,2,"Hey there, my mother is schizoaffective  Bipolar type 1 as well. I’ve been in and out of her care since I was 2 (I’m 18 almost 19 now), and for my situation, I could only watch and keep distance during her episodes. Familiarize yourself on the disorder, be aware of things you say and how she may pick it apart, be prepared to call 911 if things get too violent. If you have to call 911, be sure to mention that she is Bipolar, and film everything. once the police arrive just in case there is mistreatment of your mother.  Anyways, the coping part is hard. Is she taking her meds? If not, it’s possible she may turn to drugs. If she is, give it about three months to level out. Find something you enjoy doing at home, that way you have an escape. If you believe in religion, then start going to church and praying (or your respective place), read your holy book, apply it to your life.  Most importantly, hang in there. You are not alone in this. If you have siblings, they’re going through the same shit, and I’m sure they’re feeling the same way as you. If you don’t have siblings, there are plenty of online resources/forums that you could join for support. I don’t know any off the top of my head. If you have any more questions, i’d be happy to help :) good luck my dude",0.9852,positive,prepared
351,MentalHealthSupport,schizoaffective disorder bipolar type family member,speaker,3,"Hey thanks a lot, that’s a lot of helpful advice! I might end up replying to this message down the line if I have any further questions.",0.7177,positive,acknowledging
351,MentalHealthSupport,schizoaffective disorder bipolar type family member,speaker,4,Is the a physical group or a call center like suicide hotline?,-0.4588,negative,questioning
351,MentalHealthSupport,schizoaffective disorder bipolar type family member,listener_2,5,"Hey, eMarchHare\_, just a quick heads-up:   **should of** is actually spelled **should have**. You can remember it by **should have sounds like should of, but it just isn't right**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.6948,positive,wishing
352,MentalHealthSupport,Should I give up college?,speaker,1,"I'll try to be as brief as possible. Mind you English is not my native language.   I'm a 23F, diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 19, suspected to have been depressed since being around 12. It has been briefly suggested that I might have BPD, later dismissed as negative side effect of pills.  I've tried to go to college twice. First I lasted one term, second time I chose something entirely different and lasted longer, but nearly killed myself.  My life has been a little bit better, I'm more skilled in managing my symptoms. I moved out of a toxic family home. Terminated toxic relationships. I live with my amazing boyfriend that supports me and believes in me. I work full time in an entry lvl job that I thought was impossible because of my social anxiety. Overall I'm doing good.  So, as education is important for me, I signed up for college again. Weekend courses this time as I have a job.  Recently I've been thinking that it might be a bad idea. I had troubles with college before, it's exhausting for me and I have trouble focusing on my bad days (some people suggested I might have ADD but my former psychiatrist disagreed). I feel like I barely can go to work full time (the job actually sucks, they use us, I write this while sick at work and they pay minimum wage only, on a shitty agreement but I needed to be employed somewhere) so how can I work and pull of five years of college? Am I being greedy? Should I stop trying (my parents, siblings and friends suggested this while my SO claims I should try and do it)  Any advice? Was someone in a similar situation?",-0.9841,negative,ashamed
352,MentalHealthSupport,Should I give up college?,listener_1,2,Dropping out saved my life. I’m going back this semester and working a full time job. Keep a couple things in mind. School isn’t for everyone. That’s not your only option in life. You can go back at a later time. I would suggest that maybe you wait another semester and see where you’re at then and if you think you can handle school. Also if you aren’t satisfied with what your psychiatrist says I would get evaluated by another one. My first one was full of shit and missed some very obvious signs. ADD is hard to diagnose. I wasn’t until very recently (I’m 22)  Hang in there. You’ve got options. You can do this,-0.1531,negative,suggesting
352,MentalHealthSupport,Should I give up college?,speaker,3,I actually waited for 1 and a half year to enlist agian and I definitely feel better than before. I can't afford therapy or doctors with my current insurance. I could if I actually attended university becuase then the school would pay my insurance. Thank you for your insight!,0.7901,positive,grateful
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,speaker,1,I need some comforting words to assure me that if I agree to go on meds I will not lose myself and my bubbly side,0.8342,positive,trusting
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,listener_1,2,"Going on meds was the best thing I ever did for myself. There’s no way I’d be alive without them. Don’t be afraid of losing yourself. For me at least, I became more myself once they were finally balanced correctly. The real you is in there somewhere, begging to come out. I promise it’s going to help, not hurt. Any questions you have feel free to dm me",0.9198,positive,trusting
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,speaker,3,"Thank you, this is making me feel so much better",0.6887,positive,acknowledging
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,speaker,4,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,listener_2,5,"Of course. If you need any more support, you can message me. You're going to be okay",0.5984,positive,agreeing
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,speaker,6,It helps just hearing that I’ll be okay it means so much,0.5423,positive,hopeful
353,MentalHealthSupport,schizophrenia,listener_2,7,I'm glad I could help!,0.7177,positive,grateful
354,MentalHealthSupport,Is something wrong with me?,speaker,1,"So, I'm not sure where I should start, so I guess I'll make a list of my problems?  1. I've been feeling rather down and empty for the past few years, it's worst whenever I'm alone.  2. Sometimes I get random breakdown, when I'm with others, I kinda get all emo, but when I'm alone I start to cry and scream. 3. I often go through extreme mood swings, one second I can be in a good mood and laughing, the next second I'll be very down and start distancing myself from others and sometimes hide elsewhere. A friend of mine knew about this problem I'm facing and told me it's been getting worst and more frequent. 4. It's embarrassing for me to say this but I do self harm. About a month ago I started using blades and I got about 100 cuts within this time span. This number excludes cuts from other items I used before the blade or other method of self-injury aside from cutting. So I cut myself whenever I'm stressed, but the problem is that I also cut myself when I just feel like, almost like an addiction. Although it's embarrassing for me to admit I do such things to myself, for some reason these injuries gave me a sense of achievement. The more serious the wound, the more I feel like I've achieved something.  5. Lesser now compared to a few months ago, but I force myself to throw up all my food. I guess the reason why I limited this act is because people around me were getting suspicious. 6. I find that I don't have a stable personality, it often change depending on the person or my mood. I can be the clown of my friend group, the person who is constantly tired and annoyed, the good person and etc. It's kind of annoying and it makes me feel a bit guilty as I feel like I'm deceiving others. Is this not normal or it is and I'm just dumb. 7. I find that jealousy is a huge problem of mine. Whenever someone or even a someone close to me achieved something, I would congratulate them but inside I harbor an intense feeling of  jealousy. I even felt jealous when others manage to bring out the courage and ask others for mental support. Maybe I'm just an attention seeker or something else. 8. Violent thoughts. These thoughts have been more frequent now. Sometimes, I would have violent thoughts to just grab whoever is near me and beat them, kick them and basically just hurt them. I of course don't wan tot hurt anyone, but the urges have been getting stronger that it kinda terrifies me on what kind of person I'll become.  That's all I can think of, there's probably more but I think this list is already long enough. Is something wrong with me or I'm just going through a phase or some sort? Please help me.",-0.996,negative,sad
354,MentalHealthSupport,Is something wrong with me?,listener_1,2,"There is nothing wrong with you, however you might be suffering from a mental disorder. It's definitely not normal, you shouldn't feel this way. It's best if you see a psychologist and follow their instructions. I'm very glad you have friends that support you, maybe ask someone to go with you if it's scary. If you're not an adult - talk to your care takers immidiately.",0.9144,positive,agreeing
354,MentalHealthSupport,Is something wrong with me?,speaker,3,"Thanks for your advise. However there’s a couple of things stopping me from getting help. First is the reaction of my family. Previously, I saw them talking about how people they know that claimed to be depressed are just attention seekers, not saying my family is bad or don’t believe in mental disorders, but they find it hard to believe that someone close to them is suffering from it.  Another reason is I think that I don’t deserve it. I never suffered from any trauma or anything and I’m not the only one going through tough times, so what gives me the right to complain and ask for help when there are others that are going through worst things then me. These are what goes through my mind whenever I contemplated to ask for help, simply posting this post already made me think twice.",-0.8875,negative,apprehensive
354,MentalHealthSupport,Is something wrong with me?,speaker,4,"Thanks for concerning about me, a friend of mine who knew about this wants me to get help too. But there’s a couple of things stopping me as mentioned in my reply to ScaredChildInside. But still thanks :)",0.8968,positive,neutral
354,MentalHealthSupport,Is something wrong with me?,listener_1,5,Some disorders are caused by imbalance of chemicals in your brain. Other disorders may be caused by genetical factors. You don't have to have a terrible life to suffer from mental illness. You deserve help to enjoy the life you're having. Everybody deserves to be happy.,0.0772,positive,angry
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,speaker,1,"the reason I don’t have friends is because I get confused as to what I’m supposed to do with people.   I never enjoy my time with them but my jealousy ruins my entire mood and I go quite insane. I ask why I can’t have fun with people like everybody else, or why haven’t I ever been to any school events and why I went through high school afraid to talk to people and be friends with them.....   I don’t know what the fuck to do with people.  I honestly only know desperately ask for sex from people and act like I love them.   And I have mental breakdowns when im denied sex as well. I act like I’ve responded kindly to the denial, but then I do the curtsey by leaving the situation  and doing these break downs in private.   I go batshit insane very manic, and needy. Honestly I’m having one rn. I wanna burn everything and bang my head til I bleed. it helps the pain of constantly wanting sex and wanting to be able to have fun, and being denied that because I have limited social capabilities.  I want things and life is limits me.   unfortunately some one had witnessed me stab myself in response to not knowing what to do with my life because i feel like  it’s boring and I can’t get the things I want.   I was sent to a hospital but now I just keep my escapades to myself.   I hide myself when I do crazy shit. I’d jump out of a window if I knew people hated me because I’m so unstable.",-0.9693,negative,lonely
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,listener_1,2,Have you thought about seeking out a therapist or ever gone to therapy?,0.0,neutral,questioning
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,speaker,3,I actually feel like a need a diagnosis and I don’t have the accordances to pay for it and idk if a psychologist would be able to provide a diagnosis either.,0.1779,positive,apprehensive
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,speaker,4,"The second time Ive been shopping around , I’m now getting close to being on my own in this United States health care system, and I hear appointments with psychiatrists for formal diagnosis, costs 150/ to 200 an hour....",0.7543,positive,apprehensive
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,speaker,5,"I have seeked a therapist, and that failed the first time.",-0.5106,negative,devastated
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,listener_1,6,"You might have to test a few out until you find one that works well with you. I went through about 5 until I found the right one. Some are better than others and sometimes they can be good, but you just won't mesh well.   I'd say try again.",0.3025,positive,suggesting
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,listener_1,7,"They can be quiet costly, yes.   I have a free, online, private workshop you can try. It's self-led and totally private. It might help, but I still suggest you get checked out by a psychiatrist.  Here's the link to my workshop: www.innerpathways.org",0.5647,positive,apprehensive
355,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental break downs when i can’t have what I want.,listener_1,8,A psychiatrist should be able to make a diagnosis. A psychologist might not be able to. I went to a psychologist and he had some guesses about what my diagnoses were (and he was right) but he still referred me to a psychiatrist for a clear diagnosis.   Maybe you should look into some outreach resources to help you get a diagnosis and the help you need.   Try calling the 211 in your area. They should be able to help you find a way to get care and a diagnosis and help with the cost.,0.9765,positive,hopeful
356,MentalHealthSupport,SO DEPRESSED,speaker,1,I feel like everyone in my life have been going through so many obstacles lately while I’m just going through life. I don’t have a good reason to be sad yet here I am the most depressed I have been in a while!?!,-0.6961,negative,lonely
356,MentalHealthSupport,SO DEPRESSED,listener_1,2,"It doesn't just depend on how difficult your life currently is. It can be random change, or something that you didn't even notice, or tons of other things. You should still get help. I hope you get better, and get the help you need",0.8271,positive,consoling
356,MentalHealthSupport,SO DEPRESSED,speaker,3,Thank you 😔,0.4215,positive,wishing
357,MentalHealthSupport,I live with borderline personality disorder.,speaker,1,"i never do this type of thing, but i might as well try.   i deal with borderline personality disorder, bipolar depression, and ptsd. my mom abused my disabled brother and i when she got with her new boyfriend. my mom did meth and narcotics, she snitched on everyone so she could stay out of jail. my mom still emotionally abuses me. i moved with my dad in September of 2016 and my brother was with my mom because he got a check every month and my mom didnt work. he died in june of 2017, then my mom blamed me. i blamed myself for months. im alot better than i used to be. i now have a boyfriend of a year and a half. i live in a hotel with my step mom and dad. i constantly get upset throughout the day. i smoke weed to calm me down when my bpd acts up within me. if anyone knows how to help with bpd, please comment or message me. i just want to kill myself.",-0.9634,negative,trusting
357,MentalHealthSupport,I live with borderline personality disorder.,listener_1,2,"Idk your circumstances but try medication and if you can’t get ahold of any just smoke weed, trust me that’s all you can do when you get in these ruts with bpd and ptsd (also have them myself). Just please don’t kill yourself. I ty to distract myself with cleaning, and I’ve even enrolled into school to see if I could progress a bit better, but idk. Ik how hard it can be to find something you enjoy when you’re like this. Just keep pushing.",0.9343,positive,neutral
357,MentalHealthSupport,I live with borderline personality disorder.,speaker,3,I dont really enjoy anything. school starts in a month so ill be good. i cant really do anything unless i go to my boyfriends house. im on meds but they make me feel like shit so im slowly stopping them and smoking weed lmao,0.0659,positive,lonely
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,speaker,1,"Anxiety and insecurity are my demons.   I have realized that they're based on the thought that ""I am not good enough"" and this shows in every aspect of my life. I always needed reassurance from the people related to it, to be able to calm down my thoughts. Sometimes I refrain from trying to get reassurance because I felt that I needed to learn how to validate/calm myself down but more often, I end up with a massive feeling in my head from overthinking.   I think I've sort of conquered one aspect which revolved around school/career. I recently graduated college and I clearly remember that I always cried about not being good enough as an artist. I knew that there were better and skilled artists around me and I felt that I would fail in building a successful career because no one would bother choosing to hire me.   This thought was sort of calmed down when I was immediately accepted in an internship. It was my first interview and I was accepted. It was a big deal (kind of like a confidence booster) to me, given that I'm quite a shy person, I'd stutter and felt that I would fail to give a good impression.   This was a year ago, from thinking that no one would bother hiring because there were better people. I went to thinking that yes, there are better people in the field and I may not be as good as them as of now, but I could always practice and be better than I am today.  I'm going to be applying for jobs soon and I'm positive on doing my best to get a job.   The other aspect I believe is about relationships.   I broke up with my ex a month ago. My friends commented on me being stressed out and anxious during the relationship. I do remember being sad most of the time as I felt that I was in a competition. I wasnt sure if I was being too clingy as a person or if it was neglect (as most of my friends pointed out). I always defended his behaviors. I do feel that I ""rewired"" myself to fit his lifestlye even if it really wasn't okay with me and I thought that not being okay with it was also a problem, a fault. I was also worried about being a toxic partner.   I ended up comparing myself to alot of people. I got stalker-ish as well, wondering what I could do to get the treatment I wanted.   I had thoughts like  ""Was I not pretty enough?"" ""Was I not funny enough?"" ""Was I not fun to be around with?"" ""Is he less fond of me now?""  I still ask myself about what was I lacking and these thoughts are showing up again with someone dear to me.   I would really like to deal with these thoughts but I don't know how to conquer them.",0.9406,positive,anxious
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_1,2,"Don't ever think you're not enough. Be yourself, and if you're ""not enough"" for someone, they're not worth you. If you're just yourself, you'll meet people that truly appreciate you for exactly who you are. And as for your career, just try your best because no one can expect more from you. Be proud of whatever you make, because you tried your best. Don't ever think you're not enough, because you're an amazing person",0.9586,positive,proud
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,speaker,3,"Yeah I'm trying to make myself fully absorb the positive thinking :,)",0.7239,positive,prepared
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_1,4,"You'll get there in time. And I know this is going to sound weird, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here",-0.09,negative,neutral
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,speaker,5,"This is a new answer, isn't this something that I should'nt really look for?",0.0,neutral,suggesting
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_2,6,"Hey, you good? Just a check from a randomer to see if you're still alive :')",0.8316,positive,questioning
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_2,7,Having a best friend and knowing they're always there no matter what the situation.. what's there to avoid?,0.7291,positive,questioning
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,speaker,8,What did you do? It's just so difficult.  I've opened up to people and I feel like they lose interest after some time. That stuff sucks.  I can't tell if it's my anxiety doing the thinking for me sometimes.,-0.5634,negative,questioning
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_2,9,"Ay, but the real people who care don't just leave. There are a few people who fake caring just to get close and maybe get something out of you .but they just don't understand that what you're feeling, the situations you're in are 100% real for you..and just meh for them",0.716,positive,neutral
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,speaker,10,"Still alive but anxious as hell . Thanks for checking up on me :,)",-0.6428,negative,acknowledging
358,MentalHealthSupport,Any thoughts/tips/advices?,listener_2,11,Glad to hear..take care.,0.7351,positive,acknowledging
359,MentalHealthSupport,Life tired,speaker,1,"Hello everyone! This is my first post on Reddit as i just made an account. I just need to be able to write my feelings down somewhere.   As the title says, i'm life tired. I have lost all ambition in life. I have no desire to live. I feel drained, and it's been like this for years. Let me explain why and how it possibly got to this point.  I never had a father or a stepfather. Let's start with that. My father died when i was very young and my mom never wanted any other men. Now, i need to state that she did a great job in raising me alone and i love her a lot. She did absolutely everything she could for me and still does. What affects me more is that i don't have a family either. I used to have a grandma who i was very close with, but she died when i was 10. I also had a half brother who also died before reaching 30. Most other family members are also dead and the ones still alive are not family to me because they just don't care about me or my mom and i feel like things or love should come from two sides and not one.   Let's talk about my youth. It was great, actually the best times of my life until i was 14. We lived abroad. My mom had a severe heart attack but luckily survived but we had to move back to my country for her health. There, i started getting bullied at school uptil i was 18, and then was forced to drop out. The bullying marked me for life. I stopped eating, got close to anorexia where at some point my weight was only 62KG for 1,85m height. I even got scared to leave the house and totally closed myself in. My mom was not happy either so that didn't help. It was a negative spiral. I have no brothers or sisters btw.   When i was 18, as i said, i dropped out of school and wasn't obligated to attend classes anymore. Me and my mom then decided to move back abroad, to the same place we lived before and were very happy. That turned out to be the right decision, because both of us improved health wise in general, i gained my first ever girlfriend, made friends, etc..   Now, i'm 25, and the positivity has dropped again. My mom is good so that's important. You probably see me writing a lot about my mom, can you tell she is my only family and extremely important to me? Sorry for that. If it weren't for my mom, i would probably have suicided myself. I often think about doing it when my mom will be gone, and i'll be all alone, with no family, no gf, nothing really. They say loneliness kills people. I can tell you that i believe such thing. I feel lonely a lot. I have friends, but they all have their lifes with their gf's/wifes and work. In the end, i am still alone, apart from my mom.   I live on the 10th floor in an appartment. You don't want to know the amount of times i'm standing on the terras looking down at the ground thinking ""why don't i just throw myself and end all the suffering?"" - Yup, not gonna happen as long as my mom is alive. She doesn't deserve that. She knows about how i feel and my thoughts tho.  Let's talk about love life. Not very succesfull. Not very serious either. Only one girl really loved me, altho that is what i thought. She lives in another region in the country, but i made the effort to travel and see her after talking to her for more then 1,5 years. When we met it was perfect and we were happy. Now, on the other hand, she doesn't even care about me any more, and i ask her, why do i deserve that, after all that time and effort i've put into her? No clear answer. We are not compatible, which is true, because she wants kids and i don't, but she doesn't want kids in the next 8 years, and who knows she could change her mind, so no reason to now block me off entirelly and even not caring to have me in her life anymore. I find it ungrateful, because as i said, after all the time and money invested in her. Note that we talked every single day for hours for 1,5 years and longer. It hurts, let me tell you.  About the country i live in; it's one of the worst countries of Europe economically wise. Salaries are very low, life (rent, electricity, etc) is expensive, huge youth unemployment. Sometimes i have a job, other times i do not. I'll never get rich until i win the lottery basically, and with rich i mean relatively simple things like being able to buy a house for example.   If you want to know why i just don't want to go back to my country, again, it's because i already did that, and we know how that worked out. I also barely know anyone anymore over there. My life is settled here, abroad, and i want to stay in this country, where i feel OK. Let's say it that way, OK.  Conclusion, all these setbacks and bad experiences marked me. Yes, i know everyone had and have these, but note that there is no hope for the future or change to be found anywhere. There is no potential. It looks like i will just be alone and feel lonely when my mom dies, and i'll just be forced to live a miserable life, alone, with a shit job with shit wages unless, well, i suicide. I prefer to suicide then to suffer day in day out my entire life. That's my opinion ofcourse. I am not sick, or crazy, just lonely, sad, unfortunate and sure, depressed maybe too. Pills won't help me. What would is a genuine good girl who loves me, so i am not alone for my entire life, or a lot of money so i can buy a house and travel, just like everyone. Nothing else will be enough for me to live a happy life, with a good mental health knowing that i will have as good as nobody once my mom is gone.  Sorry for the long read, and congrats if you read it all!",-0.9753,negative,lonely
359,MentalHealthSupport,Life tired,listener_1,2,"Expecting that another person can fix what's wrong inside is is not fair to yourself if you are waiting for them and not fair to the other person who is now expected to fix you(which they can't)hate to say it but your ex made the right choice . Gratitude is a lousy basis for a relationship! Take care of yourself as well as mom, bite the bullet and get put anti-depressants(there really is nothing wrong with needing them,hell, my cat needs them🐾)",0.8251,positive,neutral
359,MentalHealthSupport,Life tired,speaker,3,"Well, in order to not be entirelly alone at some point, i will need another person in my life obviously. What's inside of me is fear for the future, for being entirelly alone, which i already am at a certain level. Can you live without absolutely nobody in your life? Never having anyone to talk to in person? To make love with? To hang out with? It is fair to not wanting to be lonely! I would never be with someone for the sake of being with someone. There needs to be a connection, feelings, love.. I don't put pressure or anybody if i get to know someone. It has to be natural. How did you ex make the right decision? She says she loves me and she damn well knows i love her. We just aren't compatible long term wise, but know it's no issue and she doesn't want kids now. Also, she is not searching for any other guys to be with or have relations with. She isn't on dating sites, she doesn't even have Facebook! We could perfectly still be together in the same way we have been for the past 1,5 years and over until she really finds the perfect guy who can be the father of her kids. We still talk a lot every day, so no issue there, she just isn't very open anymore to see me, which there is no reason too, unless she met a guy with potential.   Anti depressants are drugs, and they don't last, until you take another dose. It's a spiral and if you stop taking them you are back to the start. I am not a fan of such things and i will never be using them. I prefer to live in reality, without masks or whatever. I just need some luck, love and/or money wise, so i don't have to worry about my future anymore, or not so much.",0.9761,positive,lonely
360,MentalHealthSupport,Brain fog,speaker,1,"Lately I’ve been noticing that my mind has kinda fogged up(around a month it’s been like this). By fogged I mean I have a lot of trouble processing what people say and reaction time, General confusion, inability to think straight, etc. this has affected normal life pretty bad too. I’m much less social, get very frustrated with myself, get depressed a lot easier, and in some cases affects my job.  I’m only 19 and I don’t understand why this is happening or what is causing it.",-0.8516,negative,anxious
360,MentalHealthSupport,Brain fog,listener_1,2,I watched a YouTube video about this very matter today.   https://youtu.be/oqScko-GITU,0.101,positive,impressed
360,MentalHealthSupport,Brain fog,speaker,3,That was super informative thanks 🙏,0.7783,positive,acknowledging
360,MentalHealthSupport,Brain fog,listener_1,4,My pleasure.,0.5719,positive,content
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,speaker,1,"Last month was pretty rough. My grandpa died just two days before my birthday, so funeral instead of a birthday party. He was old and very ill, so it wasn't unexpected, but still hard. Few weeks later, my friend died in bike accident and that hit me really hard. We were really good friends and he had amazing personality. Always happy and positive. Just one year older than me. It's more than three weeks and still I can't accept, that he's gone. Can't get over it. Every time I remember him, I feel instantly sad. It feels weird talking about it with family or anyone I know. I just can't do it and I'm feeling like I'm starting to break down.",0.9205,positive,devastated
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,listener_1,2,How old are you?,0.0,neutral,questioning
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,speaker,3,23,0.0,neutral,prepared
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,listener_1,4,Would you have the money for a psychologist?,0.0,neutral,questioning
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,speaker,5,I have no idea how much can it cost. So I'm not sure. I'm not really rich.,-0.7626,negative,apprehensive
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,listener_1,6,Do you feel like needing therapy or just a friend?,0.6908,positive,questioning
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,speaker,7,"That's the problem. I have friends and family, but I don't want to talk about it with them. It's much easier to talk to strangers than somebody I know",0.5525,positive,apprehensive
361,MentalHealthSupport,Rough month,speaker,8,Czech Republic,0.0,neutral,proud
362,MentalHealthSupport,I need mental help but i don’t know where else to turn. Any advice?,speaker,1,"Let me preface this by saying i’m a 16 year old living in the UK, and i can’t do much without my parents knowing since i am an only child.   Since i’ve been pretty young i know i’ve struggled with mental health, although as i’ve gotten older it’s only gotten harder for me, i’d rather not go into detail about the exact nature of the things going on in my head, but i’m sure you can guess how desperate i am due to the fact i’m coming to reddit for help at this point.   I’ve been through three councillors when i was a little younger, at my school, although they were never much help because i was too scared to tell them the real reason i was there for fear of being sent somewhere else. with great difficulty my mum got me a consultation thing at cahms (our NHS mental health service) but after one appointment the doctor told me that the symptoms i were experiencing were autism (which i doubt) and said she could offer me an assessment to see if that was the problem but nothing beyond that. my parents are pretty dismissive and think what i’m going through is normal and will just pass, but i don’t know how to help myself through this on my own and i don’t know where else i can go. any ideas?",-0.3584,negative,ashamed
362,MentalHealthSupport,I need mental help but i don’t know where else to turn. Any advice?,listener_1,2,If you don't want to go into detail and can't go to a doctor or psychologist then i don't think you can do anything else till you are older,-0.0572,negative,apprehensive
362,MentalHealthSupport,I need mental help but i don’t know where else to turn. Any advice?,speaker,3,"Thank you so much. I’ll definitely be searching them up,",0.6666,positive,agreeing
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,speaker,1,"I'm autistic. in my personal case, I have only half a brainbattery per 2 days basically.  So energy management is very important and I've become pretty good at it.  I work in school catering, so the last weeks of school were insanely busy(graduations and all, it's pretty fun!)  Long story short, I ran out of battery. I worked myself too hard and now I burned out, I can barely get out of bed, I have summer vacation now and have no job to get up in the morning for for the next 6 weeks and it's really hard on me. I know what needs to be done but I just can't get going to get them done and it's showing in my house too.  I live alone, friends and family live too far away to just pop in and help with the house or even get me out of the house. My sense of humor is just gone too and can't look people in the eye anymore(something I took years to teach myself) wich are pretty big red flags.  I'm just so tired and I don't want to live. My pets are what get me out of bed when they need me and then I just sit around on the couch. I forget to eat too.  And my psychologist is on vacation currently(wich he deserves and I can contact the team but I just can't talk to strangers as well as with him. So this is on me) I hope someone who's been in the same situation can share some tips and wisdom with me to get out of this :)  Hope you're all well <3",0.9874,positive,sad
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry you're struggling with feeling suicidal and can't easily connect with your psychologist.  It sounds like you're in vacation, and have a list of things to do that you're struggling with. Have you considered making yourself a brief schedule or room for these next few weeks? You might benefit from maintaining a wake up time, be able to accomplish those tasks in an organized way, and schedule in time to focus on rest and balance. Maybe setting dates to connect with your friends and they can encourage you even from a distance. You deserve rest too from the sounds of it.",0.4145,positive,sympathizing
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply. Yes I'm in summer vacation.  I have an alarm set at 9:30 and 10am. And I try to be up before 11. And have tried making a schedule but my body just refuses to move. My system refuses to function. I think ""my coffee table is a mess, I should clear it"" but it's like no signal to act on it makes it passed that thought. And it brings emotional pain to even think about having to move to do it.  I'm struggling to explain this.. I hope I'm making sense. I myself am trying to make sense of this so I can get out of it",-0.2263,negative,sad
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,listener_1,4,"Some of the things you described - low motivation, fatigue, change in confidence and humor, thoughts of suicide - could be signs of depression, so it seems like a good thing that you're concerned and bringing this to the attention of your psych doc. You wrote that you don't want to live, would you like to talk more about suicide?   ​  It sounds like a struggle for you to do anything, but until you're able to work with your psych team, you might look into ways of working towards a variety of small goals, maybe much smaller than what you're used to when your batteries feel more charged. For example you could check this resource : [https://www.verywellmind.com/increasing-the-effectiveness-of-behavioral-activation-2797597](https://www.verywellmind.com/increasing-the-effectiveness-of-behavioral-activation-2797597)",-0.573,negative,questioning
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,speaker,5,"I'll check out the link, thank you.  I feel a bit better though and managed to do some stuff around the house today.  I decided to simply treat myself like I have the flu. I took a few steps back and decided to let everything go and be happy with what I can manage and not give in to pressure. Lots of rest, lots of water and lots of sleep.  I wasn't really suicidal though, more like what's the use. I wasn't looking to die but I didn't feel alive. Hard to explain :/   Half work is better than no work, right?",0.7384,positive,content
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,speaker,6,"That is very sweet of you, thank you! I did see your comment lol, yes Henry is the best and still thriving <3 this comment actually prompted me to get out of bed to do my animal round so yay :)  I feel a bit better than when I wrote this post too. Thank you for your encouraging words!",0.9855,positive,grateful
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,listener_1,7,"That sounds like a great way to get manage if this feels sort of unusual, treat it like a flu. I would encourage you to think about ""half work"" as maybe being a healthy part of working effectively; we need rest, so even though it can be hard to unwind, I think it's all part of the practice. You're doing great!",0.9674,positive,acknowledging
363,MentalHealthSupport,Burn out help,listener_2,8,I’m glad to hear that <3,0.4588,positive,acknowledging
364,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on mens mental health,speaker,1,"Hey everyone, I am working in association with the charity CALM (the Campain Against Living Miserably) to make a documentary spreading awareness of men’s mental health problems, if anyone wouldn’t mind sharing with me their experiences it would be much appreciated. Thank you",0.8240000000000001,positive,caring
364,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on mens mental health,listener_1,2,Try also asking on r/askmen !,0.0,neutral,suggesting
364,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on mens mental health,speaker,3,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
365,MentalHealthSupport,My sons moods are extreme -,speaker,1,He’s 20 and he’s not interested in going to therapy.  He can be a little reckless but his bouts w anger are draining.    Do you think it’s age related?  Or abandonment issues?   His father was in and out of his life ... more out.     What do you do when you see someone struggling and see anger come out of nowhere ?  I know it’s coming from somewhere -  just so exhausted being around it.,-0.9811,negative,sad
365,MentalHealthSupport,My sons moods are extreme -,listener_1,2,"There's most probably some unresolved issues, does he have any close friends to confide in? I would say get him some counselling or other support. Try and observe his lifestyle, is something contributing to the moods, is he productive with his time, as much as a 20 year old kid can be?   The anger though is worrying be sure that you don't put yourself in harms way. Try some anger management possibly just on your end in the beginning, start by figuring out his triggers, is it certain topics being brought up or him not getting what he wants, etc. Then you can sort of work around it. It may be tiring but at the end of the day you're his mum, he might need a bit of tough love, don't let him intimidate or scare you in any way.   Sorry for the spelling and the grammar, I typed this on my phone",-0.1461,negative,questioning
365,MentalHealthSupport,My sons moods are extreme -,speaker,3,"Might had a breakthrough.  He finally asked me if we can figure out the words that bother him.   It’s been two days but I’m grateful for this and today we had another good day.   He was feeling angry and I asked him, what’s making you so angry?  Like what is happening here to make you get so mad.   I than said, “I’m not looking for an answer, I only want you to think about what I’m asking”   So we will see.  Thank you for writing me back.     I will look into a program that will hopefully help him to see how he’s reacting",0.6577,positive,proud
366,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling blocked,speaker,1,"Not sure if this is the right place since there are so many self made problems here (which I am allowed to say since I read them and felt sorry for them because I was in the same spot about a year ago) combined with really hard ones like shizophrenia.  But here is my problem: I am feeling blocked from like, yeah, living. Like I said I also have a hard time behind me (which was mostly self made but that makes it even more real for your psyche) and I am now at a point where I feel kind of numb I guess. Its hard to describe. I seem to be less human and became more of an rational observer. I do not really show emotional reactions  but instead play my role as a human being. But I know thats not me, I feel pressure inside the middle of my head that feels like strong muscle tension to hold back all the emotions at all costs and I am not able to let go (yet). I feel like only 30% of the emotions that are going on in my brain. The rest is blocked out or rather kept tight inside my head and Im just trying to let go.",0.4291,positive,ashamed
366,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling blocked,listener_1,2,"Message me, I'll try to help you out",0.4019,positive,caring
366,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling blocked,speaker,3,Big love Bro,0.6369,positive,caring
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,speaker,1,"I swear I feel like I have no where to go with this. I'm not comfortable talking to family about what's going on in my head. Grandparents just say its because I'm young and I don't know how to control my emotions. But honestly I hate my self all the time. Most of the time I start my day and go to class and I'm fine. I think it's just because im detracted with class work. The moment I'm in the car alone, regardless if music is playing or not. It starts. Hypothetical situations play in my head and it begins to make me frustrated. It grows from frustration to just anger. At everything. And everytime I get like this I feel like my dad. I want to stop so bad. I tire. I'm tired of everything. And I find my self constantly saying how much I just want to be happy. But it's so loud and so overwhelming that i can get the negative thoughts out. I'm not sure really where to turn so i came here. I really want to delete this whole thing. But damn its I need help. I don't want to hurt anymore",-0.9543,negative,ashamed
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,listener_1,2,"You should try to see a professional, if you haven't already. That can help a lot. And try spending more time doing things you enjoy or are good at. If you don't think you're good at anything, try new things and see what you like. Or try doing more exercise, because that increases dopamine in the brain. Which will make you happier in general. And remember that you're an amazing person!",0.9467,positive,excited
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,listener_2,3,People telling me that I’m amazing makes me think I’m not amazing,0.1847,positive,annoyed
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,listener_1,4,"I'm sorry, I didn't know. Why does it make you feel that way?",-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,listener_2,5,I don’t know but I feel the same way that op does. I’m young (13) and I just can’t cope but I never tell anyone. I also cry a lot,-0.631,negative,lonely
367,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I hate my self?,listener_1,6,"I've felt like that before. But the best thing you can do is tell someone. I know it's really difficult, and you feel like it's just better this way. But if you tell someone you really trust, like a close friend or family member, they will do anything they can to help you. I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but trust me, telling someone will make it so much easier",0.9898,positive,trusting
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,speaker,1,"I was recently diagnosed with genetic paranoid schizophrenia. Last week was my last “outburst”. I feel like everyone is out to get me, and i don’t want to leave my room at times. My father doesn’t look like the man in the photos i have and i am starting to believe that he has been replaced, which sounds like a completely ridiculous statement but i feel like it’s true. I read that when someone is really losing their shit they know what they believe is not true but still believe it. He knows that this is what happened to his grandmother that i never met but i’m still scared. I don’t know what to do, everything feels like a delusion. She never took her meds and i feel like if i do i’ll become even more insane, also a thought that is ridiculous. I’m worried, i’m upset, i’m scared.",-0.9634,negative,afraid
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,listener_1,2,"Stay calm, you're going to be okay. Just remember that it's not real. You have a lot of people that really care about you, and they won't let anything happen to you. You're going to be okay. I'm sorry if this isn't what you're looking for",0.807,positive,faithful
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,speaker,3,it’s okay. thank you for this i’m starting medication next week,0.5267,positive,acknowledging
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,listener_1,4,"I hope it helps. You sound like a really good person, and I hope the medication helps you",0.9402,positive,encouraging
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,speaker,5,thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,listener_1,6,"If you need someone to talk to, I'm open to talk about whatever",0.0,neutral,trusting
368,MentalHealthSupport,How to tell if you’re losing it,speaker,7,thank you so much! this really helps.,0.6893,positive,acknowledging
369,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on Men's Mental Health,speaker,1,"Hey everyone, I am working in association with the charity CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) to make a documentary spread ing awareness of Men's Mental health problems. If anyone wouldn't mind sharing their experiences with me it would be much appreciated. Thanks.",0.5995,positive,caring
369,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on Men's Mental Health,listener_1,2,"Is it anything specific you want to hear about? I've had depression and anxiety for 17 years now, been on five different types of anti-depressants to no avail. A handful of suicide attempts (I've actually lost count) Feel like I'm actually brain damaged from the whole experience and misery might be the only topic I feel i can speak with any authority on.",-0.9509,negative,questioning
369,MentalHealthSupport,Documentary on Men's Mental Health,speaker,3,"Depending on where you're from, there are some great places you can get support. In the UK you can visit Mind or theCalmZone (I'm not too sure about other countries) but I've found that the best thing for me (it may be different for you) is to talk about it. It's difficult to start a conversation but just being listened to is a great way to start feeling better. Our focus for the film is to express the inability people feel to talk about topics like this, particularly the isolation some people feel. Mainly  we want to know what people like you feel contributes the most to a bad situation and what you think people can do to improve.",0.9419,positive,trusting
370,MentalHealthSupport,Have you ever gone to or known someone who went a mental health treatment facility?,speaker,1,"I've been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for about a year now and it's not really helping. I've tried switching therapists but still get the same no-result. I do all the ""homework"" I'm given and take my meds, but still feel the same way almost each day. My fiancé's therapist suggested a mental health retreat or facility (he's sees someone different than me, they suggested it after talking about me a bit)   I've thought about checking myself into a mental health facility/retreat, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. My questions are: 1) price (I have insurance, but haven't heard back yet if they cover it- it's Kaiser) so I want to know how much or around how much you spent. Most of the websites I've looked at don't list any pricing 2) if it actually helped anyone in the past  3) how much time spent there  4) what it was like being at a facility or retreat, if you recommend it or not",0.8785,positive,apprehensive
370,MentalHealthSupport,Have you ever gone to or known someone who went a mental health treatment facility?,listener_1,2,"I’m not sure if there is a difference between a treatment facility and a retreat but I have checked myself into a hospital psych ward twice.   i’m sure insurance varies with everyone...I ended up having to pay a little over a thousand dollars out of pocket with insurance.  Both times I was in the psych ward for about a week before getting discharged.  For me it wasn’t that helpful since when I was discharged, I returned to my problems...and I struggle with pretty severe depression and anxiety that is probably genetic.  Time slowed down a lot while I was in the center since we didn’t have access to our phones. It was a lot of time to think and reflect. I would say it was nice at times because it felt like a break from my life. The first hospital I went to wasn’t great but the 2nd one I did offered better treatment. There was a scheduled program of activities and therapy.   I always got along with everyone there and made friends both times. It just didn’t really help me in the long run",0.9733,positive,apprehensive
370,MentalHealthSupport,Have you ever gone to or known someone who went a mental health treatment facility?,speaker,3,Thanks for taking the time to respond!,0.4926,positive,wishing
370,MentalHealthSupport,Have you ever gone to or known someone who went a mental health treatment facility?,speaker,4,"Not being depressed or suicidal, managing anxiety. I've seen 5 therapists. The one I'm seeing now has been the best one but they're not able to see me often, about once every two months or so. Anxiety has improved greatly from the exercises/homework/meds but I'm still overly depressed and suicidal weekly. Being jobless is probably the biggest source, which we've discussed a lot, but there's not much they can do to help companies hire me.",-0.6907,negative,disappointed
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,1,"I joined Reddit a few days ago to try and shift the downward spiral. I'm pregnant and suicidal and the psychiatrist has decided not to do anything about it because he'd rather I was seen by a perinatal psych, which could be months away yet.  I wrote a few things that I thought might be interesting or uplifting and the trolls and assholes came out of the woodwork.  Now all I want to do is hide away and die but I can't even do that.",-0.7140000000000001,negative,angry
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,listener_1,2,If you need to talk pms. <3,0.0,neutral,neutral
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,3,"That's why I joined this sub (literally just joined a few hours ago). I searched mental health support, browsed some posts and responses, and saw that it looked pretty helpful.  The issues were on the AskReddit sub.",0.8271,positive,trusting
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,4,"I suppose I should give some context. I've had PND since my son was born, ended up on an ITO when he was 13 months old, was finally admitted to a mums and buns psych unit in the city and commenced on Seroquel Lithium and Mirtazapine, gained 20kg, was released and had just started to stabilise when I found out I was pregnant again and had to come off the meds, leaving me back at square one.  I've had depression since I was 8 and I'm now 38, got a hell of an awesome toolbox for dealing with it, but the tools aren't working (likely due to the hormones in the mix).  It's not about trying to feel magically better. It's about trying to get by untill I can be treated.",0.5023,positive,devastated
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,listener_2,5,Ok I understand now. I’m so sorry you feel that way. There’s been times where the tool didn’t seem to be working for me too. Do you have a good support group? People to help you out or talk and encourage you?,0.9085,positive,agreeing
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,6,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,7,"That is 100% relatable. My brother says the same thing to me; ""he's happy, he's healthy, he's outgoing and he loves you!""  But I also find relief in doing housework. I'm at my best on a Saturday night when I've vacuumed the house, tidied the lounge, and done the dishes. That's the night that LO has a sleepover with Nan and Pop.",0.9545,positive,content
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,listener_3,8,Yes Sunday is my day too!! Husband is off to watch baby while I get to turbo clean.   I'm also nervous because I've been so depressed the last two weeks and now my period is late. He's going as we speak to get me a pregnancy test. Not sure I'm ready to do this again so I'm really scared. Your post really spoke to me,-0.8424,negative,apprehensive
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,9,Do you think you'll be okay if it's positive?,0.6705,positive,hopeful
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,10,This is good advice,0.4404,positive,agreeing
371,MentalHealthSupport,I have DID and depression and the shit on here isn't helping,speaker,11,"The reason for the wait on the perinatal psychiatrist is that he or she is part of the women's and children's hospital in the city. There's a referral in place from the local OB but I'm in that awkward in-between place between being seen locally and being picked up by them. I can't see the psych until the initial city appointment, which isn't available yet :( it's hard to explain without getting into the nitty-gritty that risks giving away my location.  A&E won't help. They don't even help in straightforward mental health. I've just got to wait it out",-0.574,negative,apprehensive
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,speaker,1,"Hey guys, nice to meet y'all. So here is the deal, I'm not depresed or have been diagnosed with any mental health related issue but I go to therapy every month or so to vent out., However I've been in a relationship for five years with this amazing woman how oftenly describes herself as depresive... I have told her to consider therapy as an option but she has refused based on previous experiences she had as a kid, so now I don't know exactly what to do. Do you have any advise for me? anything will be apriciated, thanks for listening.  BTW: any advise will be double checked with my therapist Just so you don't worry about that.",0.9288,positive,faithful
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,listener_1,2,"Professional help is the best option. If she has doubts because of past experiences, offer to help her find a therapist she can trust. Involve yourself with it as much as you can, and if one therapist doesn't fit then keep looking with her until you find one that does. Just let her know that you'll be with her the whole time, until she's comfortable enough to go into a session alone. Sorry, but that's the best advice I have",0.9117,positive,trusting
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,speaker,3,That's great advice thanks! I hadn't considered being involved I would love to hear more people about it.,0.9098,positive,acknowledging
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,speaker,4,"Ok thanks, however do your think there's any other option than just leaving it alone... I mean after all despite all the support I give her I still believe I am not in capacity of dealing with this situation... Any alternative options to therapy would be ideal... Thanks again.",0.7988,positive,acknowledging
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,listener_2,5,"In all honesty, non-judgemental acceptance is the best thing you can give her.  I get that it's hard when you're on the outside looking in and the answer seems so obvious to you (and your intentions are good, I don't doubt that), but what she's most likely to need is just to have a normal relationship with you without you trying to fix this.  I understand that's hard because men tend to be fixers (I'm not saying that in a derogatory way, it's just how men have developed... See a problem? Try to fix it), but it'll ultimately end up pushing her away.  If you just make yourself available without pressure, there's a good chance she'll ask your help to seek professional help on her own.",0.9488,positive,trusting
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,speaker,6,"You almost made me cry, from the bottom of my heart thank you for those kind words... I don't know what else to say but I just want you to know that all I wish is that people who are depressed could see themselves as the people that love you see you.",0.8745,positive,sentimental
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,listener_3,7,Thank you so much. I'm on the same boat as your girlfriend so I can't tell you how much having a caring husband has saved me. Thank you to the last of the great men in this world <3  best of luck to you both,0.9694,positive,wishing
372,MentalHealthSupport,In a relationship with depression.,speaker,8,"Hey, thanks for those encouraging words and that great advice... Good wishes for you and your loved one.",0.9571,positive,wishing
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,speaker,1,"So to explain the context: In my country there is a single exam that determines everything and competition is everything. In order to go to a proper university you have to be at least in the first 20,000. And I got listed as approximately 39,000 which pretty much means that I wont be able to attend to any universities that I hoped to study at. I knew that my grades would be low but father had so high hopes of me. I have the second best grades at my school and my maths are seriously good. But my other lessons are not very good. anyways i am digressing  It is 3 AM and My father has locked himself into a room and he, 50 year old grown man, is crying and screaming. he is blaming me he is telling me that i will pay for this and screaming that I tricked him. He has gone insane. He is threatening me that he wont let me choose which major i will study and that he is going to choose it for me. I have not failed that hard, and i dont feel that sad but my dad is making me terribly worried. What happens if I end up going to the university he chose for me and then I hate that very decision and hate my future job and then die having had a sad regretful life.   I dont know what to do I dont know how to calm my dad down.   PS I cant retake this exam and this is the single most important exam for a student in my country. Also sorry for my poor english it is not my first language",-0.9915,negative,disappointed
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_1,2,"Your English is fine. I didn't pick that it wasn't your first language until you said so :)  I don't feel equipped to advise because I don't know enough about your culture and circumstances. If it was in Australia I'd be saying his response is abusive and disproportionate, but from what you're saying about your country it may well be understandable.  All I can offer is try not to take it on board. You're not a failure just because you didn't do well academically. Is there an fallback route like apprenticeships?",0.8159,positive,neutral
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,speaker,3,"The thing is my situation is not that bad my dad going crazy because it didnt turn out the way he wanted and I just want him to calm the f down   and yeah my culture kind of you revolves around what people call Tiger Parents, at least that is the situation for my parents",0.6428,positive,angry
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_2,4,You just worry about your safety and mental health. Your dad is having an unreasonable reaction and I'm afraid that means he can't be reasoned with. Whatever is happening in his head is completely justified to him even if it isn't justifiable.,0.4391,positive,afraid
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_1,5,What's a tiger parent?,0.0,neutral,questioning
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,speaker,6,"An unsatisfied competitive parent that wants their child to be successful in their terms. You know those parents that ""A""s are not enough you need to get A+ or A++ and even then they dont get satisfied. yea those are tiger parents you can actually look up the term",0.12,positive,agreeing
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_1,7,"Ah, those. Know the type, just didn't know the term.",0.0,neutral,neutral
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_1,8,"You know what? Your English is right up there with native English speakers, any feelings about a career as an interpreter?",0.0,neutral,questioning
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,speaker,9,"Its way too competitive (what isnt honestly this place is hell), but Ive thought about it a good few times...",0.168,positive,neutral
373,MentalHealthSupport,URGENT: University Entrance Exam Results Came in I think my dad is going to kill me please help,listener_1,10,"Bloody hell, where you live doesn't sound very good at all :(",-0.9189,negative,acknowledging
374,MentalHealthSupport,Is there anyone around who I can talk to? I just need a bit of help,speaker,1,So I’m 13 m and I’m kinda having a bit of a hard time lately. I just need someone to talk to about this stuff.  Is anyone around for that? Sorry if this is an annoying post.,-0.5267,negative,lonely
374,MentalHealthSupport,Is there anyone around who I can talk to? I just need a bit of help,listener_1,2,"Hey, if you need to talk, I am here and listening. Feel free to pm me any time. Also, feel hugged.",0.7184,positive,joyful
374,MentalHealthSupport,Is there anyone around who I can talk to? I just need a bit of help,listener_2,3,"I used the WYSA app and honestly couldn't tell the difference between that and an average counsellor... Both go with ""and how did that make you feel?"" type questions",0.4588,positive,neutral
374,MentalHealthSupport,Is there anyone around who I can talk to? I just need a bit of help,listener_3,4,"7cups is a really good one when you need to talk to someone about your problems immediately, but nobody around you is available to listen. I’ve used it when things have gotten bad and I thought I wouldn’t make it until my next therapy session. I’ve never tried these websites for routine sessions with a counselor though",-0.6708,negative,apprehensive
374,MentalHealthSupport,Is there anyone around who I can talk to? I just need a bit of help,listener_2,5,7cups is definitely a good one. I've used them successfully in the past,0.8316,positive,agreeing
375,MentalHealthSupport,Problems,speaker,1,"I live in a small town next to 2 large citys within 30 minute drives. All 3 have major issues with the youth. Me being apart of that I get involved. The things that start to effext us around the age of 13 is drugs, mental issues and bad home lives. Personally, I am one of the more resiliant people who are stuck in this crater. I am excede everyone in my grade with my brain power. I know how to help people. Ive saved over 5 lives in the past year. That starts to take a toll. Not just that but I was treated badly in a relationship which made me depressed. Pileing those up make me see the shitty parts of life. I dont see point to living at this point. I know it will get better but it gets harder everyday. I smoke weed, used to vape (stopped due to health problems), a variant of meth and i drink a lot. My family life is not good, so they dont help either. No matter what i do I just dont enjoy this. Any of it. So ive been taking these substances to escape the feeling of being alone in this world. No one checks up on me, no one asks to see if Im ok when all I do for people if give them hours and hours of mental support. Im crying and i miss feeling loved. Please",-0.9659,negative,confident
375,MentalHealthSupport,Problems,listener_1,2,"Whatever you do, don't give up. Things will get better, I promise. Get professional help as soon as you can, it will help a lot more than you think. I know all of this is difficult, but you can make it through this",0.5499,positive,faithful
375,MentalHealthSupport,Problems,speaker,3,Thank you 😊,0.8176,positive,wishing
375,MentalHealthSupport,Problems,listener_1,4,You can do it. I believe in you!,0.0,neutral,faithful
376,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend got abused and I made a alert of it. Now im broken,speaker,1,Oke sorry for the bad english in advance  #backstory When i met my girlfriend she told me she had a abusive boyfriend. She got some wierd scars but she always acused the boyfriend of that. After a while and when i've got to know the famely i noticed a wierd pattern. Every time a sister or brother did something wrong. The dad took the child upstairs and after that the child always came back crying. I also noticed some new bruces on my girlfriend so i aked ger about it. She confessed that her dad would fight her when he got angry. After a while I tried to help her by advising mental help. She said it wasn't allowed by her dad. So I warned the local child care that there was some abusing going on (she was 15 I was 18). She got a foster home after that but the dad became violent against me. He said that if i kept the relationship with my girlfriend that he would hurt me l. Later on (cause I wasn't scared) he tried to create a official contact halt towards me. He succeeded.  #1 year later The contact halt has been stopped and i can i can see my girlfriend again. My grandma died and I graduated from my school. I have no problems any more.  #my question While this shit storm unfolded I got help from a organization that handles this sort of problems. The only problem is I don't notice shit. Just a hour ago i got a panic attack and the organization told me to walk it of. I'm trying to find a other organization but the current one says it isn't smart to do that. What is your advise on changing  My current symptoms are:  - Shaking for no reason   - crying randomly for no reason  - a lot of chaos that makes it impossible to work sometimes  TL;DR; my girlfriend got abused I tried to help. I broke myself in the process. Got help but ain't cutting it. What now,-0.9955,negative,disgusted
376,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend got abused and I made a alert of it. Now im broken,listener_1,2,"Always pursue the right help for you. If the current place isn't helping, then yes you should shop around until you find one that does.  I'm sorry you went through this, but you definitely did the right thing. He became abusive to you purely because you stopped his control over his daughter, but you did right by doing that. Abusive parents don't see a problem with their behaviour and think that they have a right to do what they're doing.",-0.8829,negative,sympathizing
376,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend got abused and I made a alert of it. Now im broken,speaker,3,Thanks. I am really happy for the quick response. Im gonna try to find a other place tommorow. Its sleeping time now,0.7841,positive,grateful
376,MentalHealthSupport,My girlfriend got abused and I made a alert of it. Now im broken,listener_1,4,"I hear you on that one, almost 4am here ;)",0.1621,positive,agreeing
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,speaker,1,"I've been on Zoloft for over a year and over the last two weeks, I stopped taking it. Not because I was told to or because I told myself that I was better and didn't need it anymore...I've just gotten out of the habit and kinda forget on a regular basis.  Being off of it has made me realize a few things. First, I'm actively observing a manic episode beginning to blossom and it's bizarre, but in a way it's almost a refreshing change of pace from the pathetic nothingness I feel on the Zoloft. I actually wrote an entire chapter of a story this week after struggling for months to write anything at all. I've gotten more done at work. My brain seems to be processing things more clearly instead of like it exists in a constant fog.  On the other hand, I'm also more emotionally volatile and get explosively angry at things. Not people, really, just life in general. I've been a lot more blunt and catty to people if they annoy me instead of just dealing with their bullshit. I also feel a lot more...not suicidal, really. I don't want to actively kill myself. But I am having a lot of ""lol I want to die"" thoughts. I had them on Zoloft, too, but I could usually just watch Netflix or something and ignore it. Now it seems a lot...louder? Idk.  I feel like none of this is healthy. Being off the drugs clearly isn't the way to go, but I also don't think I'm supposed to feel the way I do when I *am* on the Zoloft. Like it doesn't make me happy or even good, really. It just makes me feel so numb that escapism is way easier. It's just kinda fucked up and hilarious to me that I don't even know what I'm supposed to feel like to be considered okay. I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle of ""talking non-stop"" and ""not talking at all"", or "" vacuuming the entire warehouse"" and ""not showering for days because I just don't have the energy or motivation"". I'm sure there's a happy medium somewhere, but I don't know where or how to get to it.  Brain chemistry is fucking weird, man.",-0.894,negative,anticipating
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,listener_1,2,"Mght be worth chatting to your doc about alternatives. I hated Zoloft for the ""mask"" it created, but being off meds is rough too. I personally found Cymbalta to be effective without the numbing effect, but there are many types of anti-depressant that work in different ways for different people. It may just be that Zoloft isn't right for you.  Best wishes! Those extremes aren't good.",0.8911,positive,acknowledging
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,listener_2,3,"Cymbalta had changed my life, for better and worse. It has definitely helped me function better. But it is highly addictive, I was able to get off it while I was pregnant with seemingly no problems, but I did have a miscarriage. The cause was unknown so I don't know if Cymbalta was a factor. But I started the meds again and have tried to taper down and stop them. I get horrible withdrawal symptoms: nerve zaps, sweating, shaking, migraines, extreme emotions. Even after no meds for 30 days. There's a FB group called ""Cymbalta Hurts Worse"" if anyone out there is looking for resources.",-0.9429,negative,sad
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,speaker,4,Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,speaker,5,💛,0.6369,positive,impressed
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,speaker,6,"YES. Every word of this, yes.  I don't drink-- it dehydrates me too badly and causes me to be in really bad pain for days after I partake-- but I do occasionally get to enjoy some weed now and again. Last time I had any was on the 4th and I had been off the Zoloft for a few days by then. I think that was the most normal I've felt in a very, very long time. I actually visited with friends and met some new people without any anxiety at all and I was in that middle ground where I wasn't too up or too down and I think that's where most people exist?   But since then, I find myself cackling hysterically at things that I know, logically, aren't that funny. And the laughter isn't because I'm happy...its like...you know how when you're exhausted and everything seems way funnier than it really is? It's like that, but in the middle of the day when I'm wide awake. And I think I've spoken and written more words in the last week, now, than I have in the last year. It's a rollercoaster.  I hope you and I both can find something that works for us. I'm rooting for you, please know that.",0.9669,positive,content
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,listener_1,7,"I'm thankful I didn't have that, that's horrible!  I had an MC last year that they suspect was due to Epilim. It's horrible",-0.6996,negative,afraid
377,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to write this down,listener_2,8,Best of luck and health to you! I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother to your rainbow baby 🌈,0.9259,positive,wishing
378,MentalHealthSupport,Emotions out of control with irrational thinking help,speaker,1,Long story short I got into a fight with my bf. It's always about my mental health and how it is negatively affecting him and us. I have a lot to work on and I admit that. What my problem is I'm freaking out thinking it's the end of the world with my heart racing and I cant stop scream crying. I rapid fire texted him and I just fucked everything up even more. I feel like if I don't message him I wont be able to cope with anything and I'm genuinely freaking out more than a panic attack.   Please help on how to control and stop this. I'm worried because I'm alone and have no distractions and I am in a very irrational state where I dont know how to get out,-0.9053,negative,devastated
378,MentalHealthSupport,Emotions out of control with irrational thinking help,speaker,2,"I'm also worried I'm going to drive myself ""crazy"" and hurt myself",-0.7906,negative,afraid
378,MentalHealthSupport,Emotions out of control with irrational thinking help,listener_1,3,I'd like to help in any way I can. Would it be okay if I dm you?,0.7269,positive,sympathizing
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,speaker,1,"I’m underweight. I am 5’9 and 125 lbs which gives me a BMI of 18, seen as underweight but I’ve been kinda fat shamed but those around me for so long. My family is all about the same height and weight but compared to them I’m seen as the “healthy one” the one who probably goes out and eats entire chocolate cakes and drinks soda all the time but I’m the most strict about my health over all of them. Two of my sisters are models, but they eat and eat and eat and just binge Netflix but stay slim, and then call me out as the one who needs to work out more because I’m big. People around me say I’m the approachable “average” one. The normal non-pretty one. And larger people call my family anorexic to my face just for the times when they eat a large chicken salad over a milkshake and 3 burgers. How do I deal with this?",-0.6686,negative,proud
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,listener_1,2,"Don't listen to them. Take care of your body, and don't believe their insults. And don't let anyone judge you, or your family. You know your body's limits, and so does your family. Just try to stay healthy, and don't listen to what other people say. And if you feel them start to get to you, you can dm me and I'll try my best to help in any way I can",0.9341,positive,faithful
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,speaker,3,Thank you MorningStar. I’m trying 😂,0.6597,positive,wishing
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,listener_1,4,Sorry I can't help more,-0.3732,negative,sympathizing
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,speaker,5,"I think I just need to start focusing on me a little more, trying to give myself more confidence. I had a picnic/tea party with my littlest sister today and we had fun!",0.8716,positive,confident
379,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m being forced a body disorder by those around me.,listener_1,6,That sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry I can't help,0.4295,positive,sympathizing
380,MentalHealthSupport,Parents don’t believe in mental health,speaker,1,"Hey guys. Just had a fight with my folks again and for the first time in my life I brought up the issue of my crumbling mental health. It’s been an issue since I was a child (I’m 22 now) and just like I feared they would, they shut me down and said that going to a professional psych is just for crazy people and so therefore, I’m crazy. I don’t know who else to turn to. Has anyone here gone through the same thing? How did you deal with it? Thanks guys",-0.7026,negative,angry
380,MentalHealthSupport,Parents don’t believe in mental health,listener_1,2,"You realize they are right and you are an entitled shit, do you want zog pills and to listen to some used female with a niglet tell you how to live?  Get a job loser",-0.6808,negative,angry
380,MentalHealthSupport,Parents don’t believe in mental health,speaker,3,Thank you so much for understanding. I never thought there’d actually be professionals that aren’t super expensive. I’ll look into that. My brain hasn’t been working too well lately either and the idea of posting this on the internet hoping someone could just say that I’m not alone in the world is really uplifting. Thank you,0.9302,positive,grateful
380,MentalHealthSupport,Parents don’t believe in mental health,speaker,4,"I actually just enrolled for 1st year med school and classes will start on August. I’m not familiar with the facilities but if they do have counseling or something, I’ll definitely take it. Thank you. This is also one of the reasons I’m kinda nervous to begin med school. I mean, stress from home life as well as med school stress, all of that can get overwhelming.",-0.0414,neutral,apprehensive
380,MentalHealthSupport,Parents don’t believe in mental health,speaker,5,Thank you so much. I hope you can get out of it as well. ☺️,0.8678,positive,encouraging
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,speaker,1,"I suffer from anxiety & depression. I was wondering if you guys tried different treatments other than every day medicine? I’ve noticed that my body rejects a lot of meds and changing them becomes a big job. I’ve been on Zoloft since December 2018, but it seemed to stop working. I do strongly believe my mental illnesses are just genetics because my mother, father, grandma and brother have mental illnesses. All feedback is really appreciated <3",-0.8723,negative,questioning
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,listener_1,2,"DBT is a really good treatment. It doesn't stop the depression, but it makes it easier to live with",0.8042,positive,neutral
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,speaker,3,"Yeah, I need to get better at that. Thank you for the advice! :)",0.8718,positive,acknowledging
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,listener_1,4,"Hon, we all do lol it's not something you default to in distress, it takes a lot of practice to get in the habit of using it :)",0.34,positive,neutral
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,speaker,5,"Yes, definitely. I love my therapist and he helped me very much with legal problems within school. Thank you for the advice! :))",0.8874,positive,agreeing
381,MentalHealthSupport,Treatment,listener_2,6,Yup!,0.0,neutral,agreeing
382,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get over my fears of mental health professionals?,speaker,1,"So, I'm 17(M), and I know I need some sort of help. I know my parents would let me seek out some for of professional help if I approached them the right way. Unfortunately I have not had the greatest time with the people that are supposed to be helping me.   So, I'm pretty confident I have some sort of dissociative disorder (depersonalization/derealization as far as I can tell), coupled with a depressive disorder, major anxiety, OCD, and maybe a small sprinkle of c-ptsd (I'm less sure about this one than the rest, but I've had some major flashbacks recently because I put myself in a triggering situation, but I might just be having some bad memories, idk...). I haven't been diagnosed with those, but I have been diagnosed with atypical bipolar, although I don't believe that diagnosis because (1) the psych wouldn't explain what it meant (and I have been completely unable to find anything about atypical bipolar because, as far as I can tell, it's very specific to the individual), and (2) she was the type of person that was asking my mother how I was feeling (not how I was behaving, but how I felt) and then (3) she would physically turn herself away from me if I tried to tell her how I was feeling (I was 14-15 at that point, so it wasn't like I couldn't understand the basics of my emotions). But with it, bipolar just doesn't fit anything but the fact that I get depressed.   So I know self diagnosing is bad, blah, blah, blah, but that's why I am very general about what I'm saying I've got (aside from OCD, which I've shown tendencies for since I was very small (eg. I have always had at least 3 first aid kits (usually I carry one with me everywhere, one would be in my locker at school, and one would be at home) at any given time because I feel like if I wasn't prepared, people were definitely going to get hurt, and I would be too anxious to go places because of it)). I know that I have anxiety of some sort (whether it's generalized or social or something else), and I know I've got some sort of depressive thing going on (again, I'm not sure if it's the seasonal one, or general, or major, or something else). I've had a few really traumatic experiences in a pretty small time frame that are still really fucking with my head and  But one of my biggest problems is a dissociative disorder.   Now, my issue gets more specific to me in particular here, because I'm trans. I'm a guy, I'm out, and I'm medically transitioning. I have been doing better than I have been for years (problem a third of my life) now that I get to be more comfortable in my skin. I know that the issues I've listed are separate from my gender, except for the depersonalization/derealization thing. As far as I can tell that is what my brain has been using as a coping mechanism for however long (because it's not great to wake up everyday in a body that is . But I know that there are a lot of doctors out there that see a dissociative disorder and immediately assume that the disconnect between you and everything else is what's causing you to be trans, and I've heard of doctors creating barriers to transition or stopping transition because they think the person is just in the throws of some sort of episode (I'm not. Just... Please don't engage if you're against transfolks. Just click off my post please because I don't want to deal with that negativity today).   Now all of my negative experiences happened before I came out, and I'm scared that they will happen again and will be worse. I know I need to get help. I'm at a point where I leave my house every other week at most and I speak to 2 people outside of my family (I'm homeschooled and living on a farm, so staying here is not as weird or difficult as it would be if I were in a big city in an apartment) because of my anxiety. I have days where I collapse in on myself and can't move because my depression lays on me like an unpleasantly damp blanket. I have more first aid stuff than my old school did because I can't not have it. I have trouble maintaining and understanding relationships with others because I can't connect because it feels like there is a wall between me and the world (I've had too many people think that we are best friends and become really attached to me when I can't even remember 90% of the things they look back fondly on).   Basically what I'm asking is for someone with experience seeking help after being a little traumatized by past ""professionals"" that were kind of absolutely garbage at their jobs, how did it go. Is there any advice that you can give me? I want to feel better, and I know that my daily life is going to forever be affected unless I get help, but the idea of having another person pull some bullshit outweighs the benefits of being a happier person.",-0.9925,negative,trusting
382,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get over my fears of mental health professionals?,listener_1,2," Hey, congratulations on the transformation! It takes a lot of bravery to come out, but you are you know so kudos!  I’ve had some bad experiences with professionals, my last two psychiatrists were a piece of work, one just kept talking about the death of my father and the last one tried to have an inappropriate relationship (knowing I have trust issues with men...) anyways. I know what you’re feeling in that regard and would like you to know a few things that helped me.  The last woman you saw and told you you have BD should have taken behaviour into account, it also might have been her training, as lots of professionals end up in psychodynamic or psychoanalysis therapy, which goes heavy on emotions. My advice would be to find another psychotherapist or psychiatrist or both with a different approach (CBT comes to mind).  You also can ask them to do some battery tests, there are psychometric and psychiatric clinical interviews/tests that cover OCD, depression and can help doing a diagnosis with statistical and symptomatic scales. They should share this information with you if you’re over 18.  Information is power, research a bit, see what’s on offer around you or even online and try the best option available. Sometimes it takes time to find the right treatment or professional, it sucks but it’s totally worth it.  Hope it helps and good luck! (:",0.9891,positive,wishing
382,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get over my fears of mental health professionals?,speaker,3,"Thanks for your reply. As far as the last woman that diagnosed me, she did it in under an hour (I think 40 minutes) on my first appointment, and she said that a lot of people in the thumb area (a part of Michigan) had it. I figured it made sense because it's genetic, but the fact she diagnosed me during my first session seems more iffy now because of that comment (most of the psychs near me were drug pushers, like there was an Adderall guy, my sister walkies in the door, he hadn't even spoken to her, and he handed her a coloring book (she was 13) with ""I have ADHD/ADD"" on the cover, and that's what he diagnosed her with immediately without talking to her, so I'm thinking that her thing was bipolar) and the other things she did (aside from making racist comments and keeping a 200 lb dog (that clearly had never had a bath), she also left her patient list information (for all of her patients) on her computer less than 2 feet from the people she spoke to, facing the people she spoke to. My mom recognized some of her customers on it (she worked with disabled veterans to help them find employment, so she knew they were in therapy and on meds, but if she saw it, anyone else could see it too). She also proceeded to ignore me every time I tried to tell her that the medications I was on were *not* right (the side affects I was having were getting more and more extreme (insomnia, anxiety, shaking, weight loss, etc.) and it wasn't helping at all with any thing (it made me more anxious and did not even dent anything involving depression)), even after I had been on them for several months and had given them their fair chance (she also started me on two the same day (so I couldn't tell which one was giving what side affect), and wouldn't explain what they did).   She wasn't at all professional with those things, and the way she acted towards me was just the icing on the cake. Where I would understand asking about my behavior, I really would, but she wasn't asking about behavior. She asked my mom how I was feeling. Not how I was behaving. Then when I would try to tell her something that I felt was important ""Hey, these medications have made me lose like 20 pounds in the last month (which was 15% of my body weight), I'm so anxious I've had four panic attacks (I had never had a panic attack until I started this medication), and I can't stop shaking,"" she would physically turn herself so she wasn't facing me, ignore what I said, and ask my mom how I was feeling.   Personally, I feel like her diagnosis was wrong because she didn't bother to see any of what was actually going on inside of my head, only how others thought I was doing. That and because she could never give me a definitive explanation of what she meant by my diagnosis (because she was too busy ignoring me), and I haven't been able to find any resources, I have to go by what's available, and even combining the two main types, and adding in the different atypical symptoms (ultra radian cycling for example), it still doesn't fit my symptoms.   I moved recently, so I'm hoping I can find someone that will listen, especially since I am older now. I'll ask for those tests. And I will research, it's one of my favorite hobbies. Thanks for responding. Knowing that other people got back on the horse makes it easier to think I can too.",0.0204,neutral,apprehensive
382,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get over my fears of mental health professionals?,listener_2,4,"I think your gut may be right. I've been diagnosed with DID, c-ptsd, OCD, and transient psychosis, but those were after standardised questionnaire testing combined with discussion and observation over multiple appointments to differentiate symptoms that overlap across multiple conditions.  Prior to that I'd been diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 22 because I hear voices and sometimes felt removed from myself (diagnosed after 10 minutes with a GP), and later switched to schizoaffective disorder at 26 because a new GP factored in the ""mood instability), then switched again to bipolar at 29 because of mood symptoms. All were diagnosed in 10-20 minutes based on one or two symptoms.  My current diagnosis fits, and explains ALL of my symptoms. And yes, hoarding absolutely is a form of OCD; that's what I was diagnosed due to, except my fixation is bedding and food stores (I don't typically use them, I just need to know I have them).",0.0,neutral,trusting
383,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t feel like enough.,speaker,1,"i have so many wonderful people in my life including my boyfriend, my friends, the people i make music with but for some reason i just can’t seem to feel like enough for people. more than likely bc i don’t feel like i’m enough for myself, i find myself just constantly sad and out of order all the time. no matter how great things are going i always seem to grasp onto the negative and can’t let it go. i just need some advice on how to break this trait of mine...",0.7490000000000001,positive,sad
383,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t feel like enough.,listener_1,2,"Forest, don't think you're not enough. You're not than enough for everyone around you. You make all of them happy, because you're a great person. If you don't believe me, you can ask any of them. As for your view about yourself, I'm sorry I can't really help with that",0.7206,positive,sympathizing
383,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t feel like enough.,listener_1,3,"Sorry, typo. Forest=First",-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
384,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with frightening thoughts about reality (this article relates to ocd and distorted thinking),speaker,1," If you wish to skip the backstory and want to see which issues I face currently, go to the last  paragraph. A few years back a thought popped into my head that went along the lines of “what if the world was a simulation?” whilst I was watching TV. That night I was in bed, and instead of simply shaking off the thought like I usually would, it began to freak me out a little. I then began to think “what if the world is a simulation and I’m the only real person in it?” I didn’t really know how to process this information/idea, as I was only around 13 at the time. I spent days trying to 100% disprove this and find a way to make myself certain that my loved ones were as real as I was. I have since been diagnosed with OCD, a common symptom of which is seeking reassurance often, and wanting absolute answers about stuff, so I know why I thought like that. The worry went away after a while, but came back after a few months. The worry was stronger this time, and I began to think things like “if the world is real, how do I know bad things won’t happen to those I love if I don’t do certain things? This made no sense when I look back on it, as I was thinking about if nobody was real, so this didn’t apply, but my head was so wrapped up in anxiety I wasn’t thinking straight. This was the beginning of a 6-7 month period of serious OCD. I found it hard to get out of bed, get dressed, eat or enjoy daily activities, due to being so wrapped up in the rituals I thought would prevent things from happening. I have since stopped doing rituals of any kind, however the disturbing thoughts that came with them remain, as do my questions about reality  The problem I have now is that I have been wrapped up in these thoughts for so long I feel almost disconnected from everyday life and almost reality itself. I don’t see the way I used to, I have constant questions in my mind that I can’t answer, does everyone have a conscious? Can I truly prove anything? What if parallel universes exist and my actions are causing harm in them? etc. This is accompanied by worries that I may develop a more serious issue like psychosis, which again is something I feel I can’t disprove. I feel unhappy and anxious generally, I am more startled by trivial things like loud noises and frightening images, and feel on edge constantly. I try to tell myself that what I’m thinking isn’t true, but the message doesn’t ever seem to get through, it’s like my brain won’t let me believe it. Please, if anyone can help me with these issues and get my life back on track, I would be so immensely grateful.",0.9239,positive,terrified
384,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with frightening thoughts about reality (this article relates to ocd and distorted thinking),listener_1,2,Following because I am struggling with this as well.,-0.1779,negative,agreeing
384,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with frightening thoughts about reality (this article relates to ocd and distorted thinking),speaker,3,"I have, but the one I have been seeing is very “by the books” she doesn’t really seem to have any knowledge of how to help people in these situations other than what she studied at university, so in truth she hasn’t been of much use. My sessions with her are ending and I’m going to find a new one.",0.7856,positive,apprehensive
384,MentalHealthSupport,Need help with frightening thoughts about reality (this article relates to ocd and distorted thinking),listener_2,4,"I'm glad you're seeking out a new therapist. The one you currently have doesn't sound helpful at all!      If you're interested, I have a private, free, online workshop you can do. It helps people with anxiety, ocd, depression...etc. You can take it in conjunction with therapy or not. Here's the website if you'd like more info: www.innerpathways.org",0.885,positive,caring
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,speaker,1,"So I've noticed over the years I'm detached and indifferent to major events in my family that seem to upset everyone else,I'll provide a few examples, but I need to know any advice for faking it.  First example, my mom passed away in 2012 from cancer, instead of alot of crying I went home and played video games and everything was normal for me, I pretended to cry infront of others but inside I wasn't upset in the slighest. I loved her I even quit college to care for her needs but I was never emotionally invested. After a week I had a garage sale and sold most possions she had to pay the rent in her house as her bank account transfered to the editor of the estate. I kept heirlooms and stuff back listed in the will. I was even late for her funeral because I was having a good streak in counter strike.  Well that's a good one I guess and it explains me, I'm aware it's not normal to be so detached and it's made my marriage hard. I have trouble showing sympathy towards anything, I care on a logical level however.  How would I go about making this less obvious?",0.2591,positive,content
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,listener_1,2,"I think it's about not faking it. Honestly, I think you should see professional help. It's not normal that you're not emotionally invested in anything. You should feel stuff like that.",0.6189,positive,sad
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,speaker,3,"That terrifess me, my wife worked mental health as a nurse and has told I exhibit sociopathic symptoms. I've never harmed anyone and I've heard those sorts get locked up just because they always end up dangerous. I'd prefer away to manage it without ruining my career and social life. I realize I have a problem so that's gotta be a plus right?",-0.3624,negative,terrified
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,listener_1,4,"It's really good that you realize you have a problem. And I don't think you'll hurt anyone, because your afraid of hurting people. Having those symptoms means that you have problems experiencing certain emotions, not that you're a cold blooded killer. If you're afraid of hurting people, it's means you do have sympathy for others. Chances are, you're not going to hurt anyone. Getting help doesn't mean you have to ruin your life. A lot of people show similar symptoms, and they're not locked up. You're going to be okay",-0.2858,negative,trusting
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,speaker,5,It's more than that though. When my wife was having heart surgery I went home to watch Netflix because I was bored and the hospital chairs where uncomfortable instead of wondering about how she was doing.,0.128,positive,lonely
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,speaker,6,"Im not sure how open I can honestly be here, but I struggled with anger for a long time until I found an outlet. I never tried to kill or mame anyone but I did have to do a year of anger management at my parents insistence",-0.8212,negative,ashamed
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,listener_1,7,"But it's good you got help. That's the best way to control this permanently, get help. People will help you, but you have to ask. You're going to be okay, they won't hurt you",0.9805,positive,neutral
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,speaker,8,"It's not them, it's the judgement from family and friends I'm more worried about. I used to be known as ""that psycho kid” and I don't want to return to being viewed that way. I avoid my hometown for that very reason.",-0.2059,negative,afraid
385,MentalHealthSupport,Pretty sure I'm not working normally,listener_2,9,"As some others have pointed out, you can get help without all those people knowing. You’ll probably have to talk to your wife about it, but since she brought this your attention, I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about.",0.2144,positive,suggesting
386,MentalHealthSupport,Why can't i shake this thought.,speaker,1,"I got pregnant and baby's father and I split up. Since then pretty frequently I think of killing myself before I have the chance to bring this child into the chaos. I also worry that after he's here I'll do it anyway, but then I leave him behind in the chaos so it only makes sense to do it now. I just want that thought process to go away. I just don't know what to do...",-0.8519,negative,apprehensive
386,MentalHealthSupport,Why can't i shake this thought.,listener_1,2,"Persistent suicidal ideation is absolutely awful. I really feel for you, I do. I struggle immensely with negative self talk - the only way I've found to break it up is by recognizing it for what it is when it occurs, then actively negating it. It's difficult, but with time I've managed to see the pattern that gets me talking poorly to myself and stop it. Usually through very loud music, or focused work. I wish the best for you, and am willing to talk if you like.",0.8022,positive,caring
386,MentalHealthSupport,Why can't i shake this thought.,speaker,3,Not for sure just ideas,-0.2411,negative,apprehensive
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,speaker,1,"Over the past few months, I’ve lost everything important to me and I’m starting to lose more. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. I know life is about the little moments. Seeing the love in someone’s eyes. Feeling the warm summer breeze. Watching a sunrise. I find myself unfamiliar with these moments. What’s the point of falling in love? To watch it crash and burn? To watch the one you care about more than anything slowly disappear from your life? What’s the point of enjoying the summer breeze if it becomes cold again eventually?  What’s the point of watching a sunrise when you know it will set again in the night? If anyone is reading this, what do I do? How do I feel warm again? How do I feel welcome?",0.9336,positive,sad
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,listener_1,2,"Life is about appreciating those moments. Finding the beauty in things. Even if you know it will eventually end, appreciate them anyway. Leave all of those thoughts, and live in the moment. If you're set in the idea that everything will end, then appreciate them while you can. And if you find the right person, they won't disappear from your life. They'll stick by you, no matter what happens. So smile. Because life is beautiful, and you can have some amazing experiences if you really try. I'm sorry, but that's all I have to say",0.8987,positive,joyful
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,speaker,3,Thank you <3,0.3612,positive,wishing
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,listener_1,4,"I'm glad I could help. If those thoughts get really bad, consider getting professional help",0.5584,positive,grateful
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,speaker,5,"I am a creative person. I write songs and poetry, and I am into photography and making videos. I love to draw as well, although I’m not the best at it. I’m trying my best to focus on my art because it lets me express myself. Thank you for commenting. It really means a lot.",0.9106,positive,grateful
387,MentalHealthSupport,I’m lost.,listener_2,6,"Beauty! In that case, tapping into your artistic outlets is definitely something to consider :)",0.8687,positive,agreeing
388,MentalHealthSupport,Dont really know how i feel,speaker,1,"Ok so first off, yes i made a second account to post this because yea i admit it. Im ashamed of how im feeling. And also yes, this post is kind of going to be a total mess so im very sorry for bad formatting and stuff but im on mobile and not good at writing.  Ok so i guess ill just jump right in? Im depressed and i have a lot of very weird feelings i dont really know how to deal with. I broke up with my gf (im dude) like a month ago and thats ok. That relationship wasnt going to work and i honestly am ok with that. Part of my reasons for breaking it off, and i havent told anyone this, is because i still have feelings for my previous girlfriend. Shes always on my mind and i always miss her and it makes me really depressed that i wasnt good enough for her. Honestly the whole ""not feeling good enough"" is kind of the root of my issues. I just never feel good enough for anything, school, other people, my hobbies ect. I just dont know how i feel about myself right now. My feelings are way out of whack. I know if i had the chance i would get back with my ex but at the same time theres this girl i know that if i had the chance i would probably date her. I dont know if its just because shes the more realistic thing to happen or what. I really just dont know whats going on with my feelings.  I guess i just really need to rant somewhere to people who dont know me. Honestly it does feel a little better just to write this out. There are a lot of other things that i struggle with but this is just the biggest one on my mind right now. Sorry for the dumb rant.",-0.9828,negative,ashamed
388,MentalHealthSupport,Dont really know how i feel,listener_1,2,"It's not a dumb rant.  Personally I would focus my attention on the one that interests me, not the one that has ""better odds"", because would you really be happy by settling just so you're not alone?  Sometimes writing it down can help make sense of it. Inside your head it's all a mess, but on paper you can look at it in some kind of order.",0.7851,positive,questioning
388,MentalHealthSupport,Dont really know how i feel,speaker,3,Thanks a lot for reading this and taking the time out of your day to say this for me. Im gonna try this,0.4404,positive,grateful
389,MentalHealthSupport,Hey,speaker,1,Hey! I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done that today you should be proud of yourself.  ~ Do not give up!,0.7835,positive,proud
389,MentalHealthSupport,Hey,listener_1,2,"Didn’t do that today, but hopefully motivation for tomorrow :)?",0.7684,positive,consoling
389,MentalHealthSupport,Hey,speaker,3,"You did it today without even realizing. You took the time to login on here, needed to read this at the right time and commented on this post. Now that a step foward.☀☉🌞👍",0.0,neutral,proud
389,MentalHealthSupport,Hey,speaker,4,Ur so welcome! Stay strong 💓,0.8641,positive,wishing
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,speaker,1,"Hello, I have a lot of problems. I'm addicted to my phone and the internet (up to 9 hours a day); for some reason, I've become unable to write in scenes (I've been writing on and off for years); and I feel sad, frustrated, and disappointed in myself. I have noticed that a lot of major aspects ok l of my mental support have been removed from my life during the summer: a regular schedule, all of my college friends, a room of my own to use as a private space, control over my own time, my journaling habit, and regular exercise. I have tried and am continuing to try to find a therapist, but i don't know if there is anyone available in the Salt Lake City area. I knew I needed help 2 months ago, but I didn't get it. I just didn't. Now, it's one month til I get back to college, and I'm not sure if I will do better or much worse. I need to get myself back to myself.",0.1098,positive,sad
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,listener_1,2,"Start by setting a time limit on your phone and sticking to it.  I know this sounds harsh, but addiction is the same irrespective of the focus. If you want to get your life back on track the first step is to take control over your addiction.  Start with decreasing time by setting it to, say, one hour in a sitting. Set goals to complete before you allow yourself another hour, and do not go back on the phone until you complete those goals. Make the goals realistic so you don't self-sabotage.  You should start noticing your addiction reduce with a couple of weeks as it gets easier to focus on your goals.  Unlike other addictions, you won't need to cease altogether; just stick to that one-hour max (two if you intend to watch a movie).  It's a psychological addiction, not a physiological one. You have that in your favour.",0.8555,positive,prepared
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,speaker,3,Thank you for your help. I've been working with a couple different time limiters on my phone. I think it's helping. I hope I'll be able to pull through.,0.8519,positive,grateful
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,listener_1,4,"Just share my own experience. Those feelings fade over time, all you can do is make a choice to get up and do something in spite of them, or they'll drag you back in.  I've battled phone addiction, alcohol addiction, and drug addiction. The ""pull"" is the same, because there is a large habit component to the behaviour irrespective of the basic drive. You'll want to keep doing it because it's what you're used to. If you keep that in mind, the pull gets easier to resist. (Not easy, just easier).  You can do this. You want to do it, you're already making an effort to do it, now it's just a matter of putting it into action. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!",-0.7517,negative,trusting
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,speaker,5,"Thank you for talking to me about this. I hope your journey has gone well, and that I can follow the same path. I had a good couple weeks until yesterday, where I just binged. And I will make myself better. I want to be the best person I can be!",0.9523,positive,consoling
390,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help myself,listener_1,6,"Slips are normal, very few can go cold turkey and make it stick.  You had a good couple of weeks. Now you'll have a good few weeks before the next slip. Then over a month. Then a couple of months...  If you don't let the slips trick you into thinking you failed, you'll cone out on top.",0.4767,positive,anticipating
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,1,I feel so hopeless and unloved I just don’t want to be here. I don’t understand what the point in life is if you aren’t living it.,-0.7737,negative,lonely
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_1,2,"I’m so sorry you fee that way. I really hope there is one thing that keeps you tethered to survival. You deserve happiness and a chance to thrive, I promise.",0.8591,positive,sympathizing
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,3,"Everyone deserves the chance to thrive, be loved and be happy. But I don’t see a point anymore I don’t have a reason anymore. I feel so lonely and don’t understand why this pain is destroying me so much.",-0.9057,negative,sad
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,4,I’ve heard it so many times and I’m yet to see any proof  of it.,0.0,neutral,annoyed
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,5,"That’s the thing I’ve stopped speaking to the person and I do feel better a lot better. But now I don’t speak to anyone. And I’m glad I got rid of her because I feel 100x better than I did speaking to her, but I’m totally isolated now. And I hate it.",0.2169,positive,lonely
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_1,6,I know this sounds stupid but sometimes it’s the only thing that works for me. Have you ever tried to thrive out of spite? Simply just to prove the nasty mean depression voice wrong? Because that’s sometimes the only thing that gets me out of bed. Sometimes simply trying to spite myself is the only thing that gets me through the day,-0.9815,negative,angry
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_2,7,You will! When we feel this way (I say we because I struggle with these feelings as well and have for a long time) it’s hard to see beyond the sludge that holds us down. Please hang in there. Get some help if you’re able. DM me if you need to talk. You at least have one person that cares. 💕,0.8999,positive,consoling
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,8,Never even thought of that tbh. Maybe I should try it,0.0,neutral,suggesting
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,9,I’m trying to get some help but no where will help.,0.3818,positive,disappointed
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_3,10,I'm glad you had the courage to walk away from what sounds like a draining friendship. I had the same problem when I had to cut out some people that I realized were toxic in my life. It's so dam hard to make friends because you have to relearn how to be vulnerable and open with people. It's something I had to consciously work on with a therapist but it was worth it because I met better people and I'm no longer lonely. I hope you get to a place where you feel you can connect with people and make friends :),0.971,positive,trusting
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_1,11,I know it sounds a little silly but it honestly has helped me when it felt like no one was there and I was all alone,0.4317,positive,lonely
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_4,12,"I'm sorry you're not finding help. I will help you. I'm a mental wellness coach and a self-care advocate.   ​  I have a free, private, self-led, online workshop that you can enroll in. It's private, you can do it on your phone, tablet, computer and you don't have to talk to anyone about what you're feeling. You CAN if you want to, but you don't have to.      It was created for people who feel they can't afford and/or they can't find the \*right\* kind of help. It's a not-for-profit organization and it's available for free to anyone around the world who wants help. There are no ""qualifications"" you have to meet in order to take it. Totally free. Totally private. No selling of your information. They're just there to help people get well who want to get well.      Here's the link: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)     Please don't give up. I've been where you're at and there's always hope.",0.9863,positive,caring
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_2,13,Are you employed?  Do you have insurance? Have you looked into community programs for therapy?,0.0,neutral,questioning
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,14,"Yes but when I never speak to anyone there, I don’t and no I haven’t.",-0.2382,negative,neutral
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,listener_2,15,There is help available. If you need help finding someone to talk to I’d be more than happy to help,0.9017,positive,sympathizing
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,16,So do i,0.0,neutral,questioning
391,MentalHealthSupport,I really want to give up.,speaker,17,Thank you friend.,0.6908,positive,wishing
392,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is pulling me down,speaker,1,"About 6 weeks ago, I got hired for a new position and 3 weeks later I was fired. The boss said it had nothing to do with me and really emphasized that it wasn’t my fault and that it was simply a guy decision. Since then I’ve been trying my hardest to send out applications but I’ve only secured 3 interviews and the only place that offered me a job reminds me of a place I hated working. I’m dreading starting at this new place and it fills me with such bad anxiety that my body is taking a turn for the worst and giving me stomach problems (sorry for the tmi!!!). I’m in misery because I need to make money but lord knows I can’t handle a repeat of the jobs I’ve had before. I know my mental health is taking a turn for the worst and all this stress is really drowning me but realistically I need a paycheck to survive. Hoping for advice from anyone!",-0.9914,negative,apprehensive
392,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is pulling me down,listener_1,2,"Try not to worry about it (easier said than done, I know). You're stressed due to past experience but may find that it's nothing like the job you had.  When you have had a bad experience, it's easy to latch on to any similarity. It makes sense because there was a time when our ancestors used this profiling to avoid danger, but now it's just a pain in the ass for the most part.  Every time the anxiety cones up, deliberately reroute it by saying ""I got this job because I'm good enough, and I am going to do well!"", or something similar that does not sound cheap to you.",-0.9372,negative,apprehensive
392,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is pulling me down,speaker,3,Thank you! This helps! I truly appreciate it.,0.8829,positive,sympathizing
393,MentalHealthSupport,Declining mental state,speaker,1,"I’ve been feeling notoriously worse for the past 4 years, I can’t concentrate properly on tasks and studies, i feel really tired throughout the day and still i cannot sleep before 00:00-1:00. I really feel like by now the only thing that i did was waste my life. Sometimes i get so frustrated at not achieving my own goals that I furiously punch my thighs or walls. I’ve never been to a psychologist and yet i feel extremely embarrassed to ask my family or friends for support. What am I dealing with here and how can I overcome myself?",-0.8771,negative,ashamed
393,MentalHealthSupport,Declining mental state,listener_1,2,A quick question. How many hours of sleep do you get ? I believe that it could affect your mental health. But I do think that you should see a professional. Not necessarily a psychologist but just a generalist to talk about your sleep issues,0.0,neutral,suggesting
393,MentalHealthSupport,Declining mental state,speaker,3,6 -7 average i would guess?,0.0,neutral,questioning
393,MentalHealthSupport,Declining mental state,listener_1,4,"Maybe the quality of it is lacking?  I haven't really faced the same problems as you, but I have noticed that our bodies can have a huge effect on our mental health.  I'm no professional though, so I can only talk out of experience.  My mom's mental health has suffered a lot over the last decade. When I was 10 she told me she wanted to die. Then she was diagnosed with bipolar and depressive disorder. Now just last year a doctor noticed that her teeth implants contained mercury, chrom and nickel. She has a nickel allergy and had chrom and mercury poisoning. Out came the implants and she is now a lot better.  She still has health issues since heavy metal poisoning is very serious, but she seems happier and more like the mom that I remember from my early childhood",-0.961,negative,apprehensive
394,MentalHealthSupport,Struggle after a break up...,speaker,1,"I think it's worth giving some back story first:   I met my ex when we moved into university halls. We got along great from the start, but she was a Christian so it made things a bit more complicated. We were so happy for the months we lived together. We eventually decided to officially date just before we moved out. I went down and met her family and was so happy as she had a dope family and we got along great. We went to a summer camp thing together, had a great time. I think it was safe to say I was pretty in love for the first time.   However, when we were away over the summer she mentioned how she wanted to go away and be a missionary. In the past she had mentioned it and I was all for it, but now we were dating I mentioned that I don't no if we should carry on dating if I knew she was going to leave me. We mutually agreed to end it there, but then when we were back for 2nd year (we weren't living together) we still hung out as if we were. I mentioned it several times and she used the excuse she wasn't ready for a relationship. Im not one to force anyone against there will so I said that's fine. I think from this point she tried to distance herself from me. We went weeks without chatting, and then out of the blue she messages me on my birthday and says she has a present for me, and I couldn't say no to my favorite ice cream. We had a catch up and I asked her where she was at and how she felt. She said she had chatted to her mum and she felt like she just wasn't ready for a relationship but she still had feelings for me. This was in mid December.   We didn't chat over Christmas, and I came back hoping to rekindle what we had. But of course, she was seeing someone. I think it tore me apart. I called my mum crying my eyes out, which one I'm not someone who cries, and two especially to my mum. I had some of the darkest days. She offered no explaination and I only found out because my friends saw her out with him. This was In January, and now being July and I still feel shit about it. Seems like she pops up everywhere, even thou I removed her of social media.   I just feel so shit. I didn't no it was possible to feel so negative and depressed about something that happened so long ago. I miss her so much, and had some of my best memories with her. Now I think she's with this guy and she's happy again, and I'm here hating myself and it's just so fucking unfair she's happy and I'm not.  I think it's appropriate to post this as it's her bday tomorrow, and I just don't no if I can do it. I'm tired of telling people oh yeah it's fine it's all good when its really not. They just don't understand. When you live with someone for a year, hanging everyday. It's so hard and I'm struggling to find the will to go on. I've thought about suicide several times and I still do now. We clicked on so many levels, I've never had a connection with anyone like I did with her.  I'm sorry for posting. I don't talk about my feelings to anyone, but there's just something reassuring about being anonymous. It's just nice to get it out...",0.9932,positive,joyful
394,MentalHealthSupport,Struggle after a break up...,listener_1,2,"Your feelings are ok, you're still feeling a of grief over the loss   what you thought you were going to have in a relationship with her. You may not be ready to hear this ,but you can still have that kind relationship,  even if it's not with her. Get out of the house even if you have to force  yourself . Find one good friend who promises to drag you around and remember--this to shall pass--",0.9143,positive,trusting
394,MentalHealthSupport,Struggle after a break up...,speaker,3,Thanks pal. Appreciate you taking the time. I will try my best. Some days are better than others. Just seems whenever I think about it or see something about it I just go back down the rabbit hole. Depending on how things go I may take you up on that offer. I think I just need someone to talk over stuff. Thanks again,0.9393,positive,trusting
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),speaker,1,"I’m feeling extremely stressed out, and perhaps anxious. I’m not sure if it’s anxiety, because I went to see a doctor a couple months ago when I was taking antidepressants, and she told me I didn’t have anxiety or depression, that I’m just overwhelmed, but whenever I feel like I’m anxious it’s because I feel so bad and it gets very hard for me to control it and calm down. Also, it seems like I have a few good days in a row and then a few really bad days.  Right now I have a lot of pressure and stress on me, and I naturally tend to overthink regardless, but this has been causing a lot of problems in my relationship because it comes off as I don’t trust my partner. I feel like I trust my partner sometimes... but I also think a lot about who’s he talking to, is he hiding something from me, is he saying the truth... and these thoughts get worse when I’m going through a stressful period. When I’m having good days, the usual thought is “who’s he talking to?” but it’s not really very often and it only takes me a minute to realize that I’m being silly by asking myself that question, because it doesn’t matter who he talks to!   I’m absolutely aware that it becomes controlling and toxic, and that my partner deserves privacy, and that’s why I’m so confused about my thought process in days like these...  My partner has privacy, because even though I get concerned about who he talks to, I don’t ask him, I only bring up the fact that I have a concern but I clarify that I know that I’m just overthinking, and that he’s not doing anything wrong.  My partner doesn’t show any signs of unfaithfulness, in fact he is a great partner, and I know it’s me who needs to make changes, I simply don’t know what to do, because I don’t know what the problem is.  I have a lot of mental health conflicts besides my insecurities with my relationship, but this is something that is bothering me a lot.",-0.9485,negative,anxious
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),listener_1,2,"That's completely normal. You being worried about if your partner is talking to someone else, is okay. If these thoughts are really bad, try seeing a doctor again. Maybe something happened in that time that changed it. But that's the best advice I can give. Stay calm, and see a professional. I'm really sorry I can't help more",0.531,positive,sympathizing
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),speaker,3,"This helps a lot because sometimes I feel like our relationship is not normal, and I’m glad it is.  It’s hard for me to see a professional since I’m not a resident of this country (I’m an international student but already finished school), and I can’t afford a doctor or therapist. The doctor that gave me my first prescription was from the school and apparently she gave me something that was possibly making things worse for me, and after that I saw a family doctor for free who told me to stop taking my meds because I didn’t need them and that she didn’t know why my past doctor prescribed it to me... I stopped seeing that family doctor because I didn’t agree with her, and now I’ve lost my chance to see her for free again. I’m kinda stuck and relying on people’s advice for now :(",-0.0414,neutral,trusting
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),listener_1,4,"Okay. I know that can be really difficult, especially not being a resident of the country. Maybe talk to your partner about how you've been feeling. If he really cares about you, he'll understand and try to help you",0.6808,positive,suggesting
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),speaker,5,"For sure, he has been very understanding and patient with me, but I also understand that sometimes he can get frustrated and upset because I still can’t fully trust him. I’m scared that he may get tired of me because of this, and sometimes I’m scared that he’s only saying nice things to me to make me feel better and not because he means them... it’s all a loop",-0.7551,negative,apprehensive
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),listener_1,6,"If he's telling you nice things it's because he really really means them. And when you tell him, emphasize that's it's not because you don't trust him. It's because you're having thoughts that you know are not true, but they don't go away",-0.1573,negative,trusting
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),speaker,7,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
395,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health issues but don’t know what to do (pls help),listener_1,8,I'm glad I could help :),0.8271,positive,grateful
396,MentalHealthSupport,I wish i could enjoy things again,speaker,1,"Less and less i find joy in the things i used to like, i fucking hate it  I stopped watching series and playing games  I hat my vacations, all i do is waste my life",-0.21600000000000005,negative,sad
396,MentalHealthSupport,I wish i could enjoy things again,listener_1,2,"That will come back. I'm not an expert, so I can't give you a magic answer. I'm really sorry, I wish I could. But the best advice is to see someone who is a professional. They can help you enjoy life again. I'm really sorry, I wish I could help more",0.9717,positive,sympathizing
396,MentalHealthSupport,I wish i could enjoy things again,speaker,3,Thanks.. i know i should,0.4404,positive,agreeing
396,MentalHealthSupport,I wish i could enjoy things again,listener_1,4,"You're going to be okay. Things will get better. If you need someone to talk to, I'd be more than happy to volunteer",0.8307,positive,caring
397,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts are making me starve myself,speaker,1,"This is a fairly recent thing for me and I don’t know how to approach it. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, major depressive disorder, and Unspecified Mood Affective Disorder, I take 100mg of Zoloft, as well as Prazosin and Hydroxyzine, for context.  I just poured myself a glass of water, and instantly thought “what if this water was just touching a corpse”. That’s absolutely ridiculous because I just poured the water out of a sealed bottle. Could not get myself to drink it. Still thirsty.   Tried to eat some pasta earlier and while I was spinning the first bite on my fork thought “this is going to turn into worms as soon as you put it in your mouth”. I know that is irrational, and I still can’t eat the pasta.  I have these thoughts all the time and it’s affecting my ability to function in society. I can’t look out the windows of my house at night because I’m convinced that I will see a civil war ghost (I live in Gettysburg). I’m frequently convinced that if I go to sleep I will die, and stay up for days.   These thoughts are ruining my life and I don’t know what to do about them. Do you think they’re anxiety related? I don’t know what to do.",-0.955,negative,apprehensive
397,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts are making me starve myself,listener_1,2,"What your telling me has got me very concerned I don't know what's happening, but I am sure you need to tell your doc! This needs some kind of intervention soon!",0.5475,positive,apprehensive
397,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts are making me starve myself,speaker,3,Unfortunately I moved recently and don’t have a doc at the moment,-0.34,negative,lonely
398,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts. Triggers.,speaker,1,My bf broke up with me for a month now but I think I’m not dealing the pain/experience in a healthy way. I really need someone who I can talk to about these things. It feels like I’m repressing myself and just escaping with the reality that I’m hurting.,-0.2617,negative,lonely
398,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts. Triggers.,listener_1,2,"If you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to volunteer",0.5719,positive,caring
398,MentalHealthSupport,Thoughts. Triggers.,listener_2,3,And yes. I'm from the philippines too. Hahaha. Saw your phr4r post lol,0.8442,positive,agreeing
399,MentalHealthSupport,One of those more difficult days..,speaker,1,"I've been unable to attempt any self-care today. I've just stayed on the sofa, curled up in a blanket, taking naps most the day. I need to eat dinner but it feels like a challenge. I also haven't showered. I struggle with Body Dsymorphia too, so the lack of self-care (being makeup and shower free) is feeding the depression even more.  The event Pride was also on today. I was unable to go due to my mental health. I've missed a lot of things this summer so far due to it. It just reminds me how much of a failure I am.   What are you tips for days like this? How do you eat? Get into the shower? Be kind to yourself? Not beat yourself up for not attending events?  If you're reading this, thank you x",0.901,positive,ashamed
399,MentalHealthSupport,One of those more difficult days..,listener_1,2,What i do on days like that is try to find a freind or someone to talk to for a bit and if that doesent work i write to people on reddit and look around knowing im not alone in these feelings,0.5007,positive,lonely
399,MentalHealthSupport,One of those more difficult days..,speaker,3,"Thank you SO much for taking the time to write such a lovely, supportive comment. It made my day reading it and I've taken all of your advice onboard. Thank you, you've been so helpful! :)  I'm so glad to hear you're in a better place now. I'd love to chat more if you feel up for it! - Let me know and I'll dm you over here. Absolutely no problem if not :)  Thank you again. It means the world to me x",0.9801,positive,grateful
399,MentalHealthSupport,One of those more difficult days..,listener_2,4,"You’re so welcome, I’m glad my words could be of use!!! Dm me anytime, I’d love to chat!",0.9173,positive,acknowledging
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,speaker,1,"I have not been my best self for the past few months. I have been trying and for most of my friends I am the one giving them advice or listening to them. So everytime something's not okay with me and I try to talk to some of them, they tend to freak out and then I become extremely conscious and stop sharing till I feel alright. I really appreciate their concern and I am also not an introvert by nature, a little private, yes, but I talk. But there are days like these when I feel utterly useless and trash. So much that I tend to feel pukish and do not have the will to get up from my bed. I understand that one cannot be their best self throughout and there are good days and bad days, but on days when nothing is actually happening event wise, I do not understand what makes me feel so low that all I want to do is lie down and sob.",-0.7238,negative,trusting
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,listener_1,2,"If you need someone to talk to, I'll help you in any way I can",0.4019,positive,caring
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for offering a space to talk to. It truly means a lot to me. I have been craving some space, some time away from the regular routine, alone or around people who might not question me if I am on bed all day sobbing. But that's not practical. As much as I appreciate the concern whenever I am at home for the weekend, I am also forced to be okay even though I feel heavy. Back in University, I am mostly around friends and roommates and to be honest, there can never be a dull day because there's always so much today. But I feel exhausted. Extremely tired.",0.7389,positive,grateful
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,speaker,4,I appreciate this. I continue to make an effort to be alright and keep doing my regular thing and being the regular person. What continues to bother me is how I see no reason why I should be feeling this way and me inability to get over it.,-0.2732,negative,annoyed
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,listener_1,5,Nobody should be forcing you to be okay. True friends will help you if you're not okay. And you should take a break. Make some more time for yourself. It will help a lot,0.8894,positive,sad
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,speaker,6,If it persists I might have to seek professional help. But I am hoping it will get better.,0.8555,positive,apprehensive
400,MentalHealthSupport,Venting Out,speaker,7,"I am trying to listen to some good music, hope it helps. Thanks!",0.8908,positive,consoling
401,MentalHealthSupport,Losing My Mind,speaker,1,"I’m a fourteen year old kid, which admittedly isn’t a great start.  I’ve been in intensive therapy and in and out of psychiatric hospitals since I was six.  Over time I’ve accumulated symptoms that now include hallucinations, both auditory and visual, constant homicidal intrusive thoughts, psychotic episodes, severe anxiety, crippling depression, and self harm urges.  I’ve been on almost every SSRI there is, and haven’t gotten any benefit, as well as a few antipsychotics like Zoloft and Abilify.  The therapy hasn’t been much help either, and I’m losing faith in it completely.  I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times, and ran away twice, and I feel like I’m almost at the point of losing my mind completely.  Any suggestions at all would be greatly appreciated.",0.2247,positive,terrified
401,MentalHealthSupport,Losing My Mind,listener_1,2,"Please don't try any self harm it suicide again. Things are really bad right now, but they will get better. Therapy seems like it isn't helping, but it will. You're going to be okay. You can make it through this. Please don't give up",0.7012,positive,consoling
401,MentalHealthSupport,Losing My Mind,speaker,3,"I actually had a sleep study done last year for the same purpose.  Nothing besides moderate insomnia (which by now has probably become severe).  The majority of my therapy has been CBT, although in past year or two I’ve branched out into DBT and ERP, which thus far have been equally ineffective,",-0.4767,negative,apprehensive
401,MentalHealthSupport,Losing My Mind,listener_2,4,Insomnia sucks. I'd like to try some other types of therapy too.,0.0,neutral,suggesting
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,speaker,1,"I'm 15, and I'm hanging on by a thread. I don't know how else to say this other than I am never thin. Pictures make me look giant and I avoid mirrors. I have a horrible problem with food and when I told my brother I had a problem and an unhealthy relationship with food he assumed it was because I ate too much and because I'm not happy with my weight... Because I'm fat.   There is so much more to this but I need to get this off my chest,  my mental health is at an all time low and I really need someone to talk to. Please help me.",-0.5992,negative,ashamed
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,listener_1,2,Realistically are you eating?,0.0,neutral,questioning
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,speaker,3,"Kind of.  I don't eat much, why are you asking?",0.5267,positive,questioning
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,listener_2,4,I'm guessing they're concerned about your health if you don't eat,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,speaker,5,For me it's both.  I'll restrict for a day or two and break it with a meal like dinner. I can't help but feel like a cow when I eat anything at all no matter what it is.,0.3527,positive,ashamed
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,listener_2,6,That underlying thinking is my concern. Just addressing your diet won't do much if you're thinking those thoughts while eating something perfectly normal.  It does sound like it could be an ED. Do you have a doctor you trust?,0.875,positive,questioning
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,speaker,7,I don't have a doctor I can go to.  My parents will not bring me to one no matter the circumstance unless it's really really important to them.,0.3176,positive,apprehensive
402,MentalHealthSupport,I'm struggling with an ED.,listener_2,8,"Shit.  Um... Student counsellor?  I mean, we can offer to help you online, but that's only going to be so helpful. You really need someone to help you face to face",0.8412,positive,questioning
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,speaker,1,"(24f) In August 2017 I was sexually assaulted and then found out that I developed cervical cancer causing hpv from it and was a stage away from developing cancer. Going to the gynecologist to be constantly examined and having surgeries added to the trauma I had already experienced. I eventually cleared the precancerous cells and the hpv, but I had developed severe OCD in order to cope. I became obsessed with my skin and would spend up to 6 hours a day examining my face in the mirror. I also was obsessed with the fear of being immoral and I would do many weird things to “purify” myself. I couldn’t work or go to school and had to move home with my parents for a year of intense therapy.   I was able to go back to school August 2018 and It took until May of this year to finally get over OCD. In May I finally was at a point I could get a job at red lobster as a hostess. The other hosts are much younger than me and have been making rude comments about my station in life. I left work today crying because the smallest comments trigger me. I decided to quit. I wish I was at a point I could let such comments roll off my back, but I can’t. I feel so ashamed for being so behind in life.   I just need some encouragement. I am proud of my progress, but I still feel shame for taking so long to recover and shame from people who judge me for not having a career and living with my folks. I will graduate from college in 1 1/2 years and I’ll be able to work my dream job as an elementary school art teacher.   Am I recovering too slowly and too sensitive for getting trigged by “jokes” at my expense?",-0.9835,negative,anxious
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,listener_1,2,"You're recovering at your pace, which is precisely how long it should take.  What you've been through is incredibly traumatic and will always stay with you to some degree, so you take as long as you need to do what you need to do in order to feel okay.  I was raped at 15. I'm now 38 and had a son last year. At 37 weeks I had false labour and they had to check my cervix. 22 years after the rape, I STILL got triggered by that. And you know what? That's actually okay.  The main thing to remember is that it was HIS crime, not yours. Even if you rocked up naked to his house and sat on his lap, the second you say no and he proceeds anyway, it's rape.  Now, considering I don't think you did anything anywhere near as overt as that, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.  In my case, I invited him over because I knew my parents were out of town for the afternoon. I got cold feet once he was there, but he wanted sex and raped me.  I'm not guilty, and neither are you.",-0.939,negative,faithful
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,speaker,3,Wow thank you for this comment. It helps so much to hear from others who understand what it’s like. You inviting him over didn’t mean you asked for that to happen and I’m truly sorry you went through that. I was taken advantage of by a friend while drunk. I felt safe at the time... but you know no matter what it can happen. You sharing your story and advice mean so much to me. I feel less alone in this. What helped the most in your recovery?,0.9105,positive,sympathizing
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,speaker,4,Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate another perspective because I am really hard on myself. I think I’m going to work with a fiend of mine at a coffee shop instead of staying with my current job because of the judgmental people who work there. I don’t have the emotional strength to deal with their rude remarks. Does that make me too fragile? Either way again thank you so so much for this it means a lot.,0.8955,positive,grateful
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,listener_1,5,">What helped the most in your recovery?  Several things helped, so it's hard to say what helped most.  I reached a point where I was sick of justifying myself to anyone, even myself, and I think that was the turning point. I just snapped and said ""fuck anyone who judges me"" (self included) and start letting my moral compass be the judge.  It was very liberating.  The other thing that helped was finally accepting that I wasn't dirty or defiled. I think most (if not all) rape victims feel that way, and finding that place where you start putting the blame where it belongs definitely helps.  And giving myself the space to recover in my own time, and being kind to myself after a trigger, is one of the best things I did. I stopped comparing myself to other survivors and just focused on where I personally was at.  That guy was a prick for doing that to you. I'm in a relationship and won't touch my partner sexually if he's drunk because he can't consent and an established sexual relationship is not permission. I wish more people realised that being drunk is a no-go.",0.8117,positive,impressed
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,speaker,6,"Thank you. I need to get to that point where I don’t care if others judge me for being where I am in life. If I wanted to I could judge a lot of people for a lot of things, but I rise above that. It’s time to start treating myself like that and not judging myself anymore. Thanks for all the support you have really made an impact on my life!",0.9299,positive,grateful
403,MentalHealthSupport,Am I recovering too slowly after a year of debilitating OCD caused by sexual assault?,listener_1,7,"You'll get there 😊 it just takes time, and reassurance that you're doing okay.",0.8555,positive,consoling
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,speaker,1,"Good evening I would like to discuss how I’ve been feeling lately. For a while I have been down or upset . Of course I’m not sad the every single day or at every single time but it doesn’t take long for me to become upset or sad again over the stupidest of things. Like if my sister tells me to stop doing something or if I see my family or friends getting along with out me , I will get upset. If anybody’s tells me my makeup isn’t fixed properly I will burst into tears and feel bad for most of the day. Due to all this I constantly want to be away from people because they keep hurting me or offend me, I just want to be alone and sleep. I never use to feel like this. I feel like my mind is causing it because I always think that my parents like my sister better or everybody is always judging me. I use to love to eat but I have lost my appetite for certain things and I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore, I have to push myself to compose my music. I just wish I could erase all my thoughts that are telling that people are judging me or don’t like me, it’s so annoying.",0.327,positive,sad
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_1,2,How old are you? The answer to this question could very well help in figuring out what's wrong.,0.3119,positive,questioning
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_2,3,I don’t think it has to do with they’re age,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,speaker,4,I’m 17,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_1,5,"I suspected it might be in that region (15-19).  Okay, my best guess is you're not only dealing with hormonal upheaval that messes anyone up, but also in the early stages of a mental health crisis. The age window I mentioned is when it comes up for most people who are affected.  This is good news! You're at the prime age to get support to deal with this. You're not so young that they'll say ""let's wait and see"", but not so old that they'll say ""you should have seen symptoms before now"".  My hunch is a depressive condition, but you do mention some paranoid thinking so it would definitely be worth seeing someone in case it's something like BiPolar.  Either way, a professional should be able to help.  In your shoes I'd have a chat to my doctor about what's going on, and go from there.",0.8732,positive,hopeful
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_1,6,Please read their reply and my follow-up reply to get context,0.3182,positive,prepared
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_2,7,Ok sorry about that I didn’t see that before when I replied to you but still depression and anxiety doesn’t discriminate by age for sure but you do make a good point in your reply to them about being at a good age to get the help they need and to figure out what’s wrong now and be able to deal with it now instead of waiting it out and seek professional help,0.7876,positive,sympathizing
404,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me figure out what’s wrong ?,listener_1,8,"I agree, depression and anxiety can hit at any age and for any reason (or none at all).  If it's something like BiPolar or Schizoaffective Disorder, however, symptoms usually first appear in the mid-to-late teens. It was the description of psychotic symptoms (paranoia being one) that made me look closer at that possibility.",-0.6249,negative,agreeing
405,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me leave my house...,speaker,1,"I suffer depression, it's not the 'I can't get out of bed' kind but I have no life so I'm very socially isolated and rarely leave the house which has a huge impact on my mental health. I can literally go a week without needing to leave the house, I end-up messing up my sleep pattern, not eating right, not bathing often, etc. which is terrible for my mental health. In general I feel terrible that I don't do anything, my depression is tied-up in the fact I have nothing in my life and I'm getting older so am slowly missing out on a lot of things...but my depression pulls me back whenever I try to help myself.  ​  I struggle to find things to get me out the house...  ​  I'm currently unemployed - yes I'm working on this but it's unlikely to change any time soon, I do volunteer but currently it's only a few hours per week...I'm reluctant to put in more hours as this place recently turned me down for a paid job so I don't want to be doing them any favors and I feel a bit of a loser there, finding a new voluntary job is almost as hard as finding a new paid job so I'd rather direct my efforts at a paid job. Going back into full-time education isn't an option.   I have no friends at all and thus no social life; a failed attempt to immigrate found me back in my home country with nothing two years ago, I started going to Meetup groups to try to make new friends but I dated a member and it went badly so I had to cut contact with Meetup groups. I've no hobbies, I keep trying to find hobbies but nothing sticks - depression, lack of disposable income, and lack of friends all conspire to kill any attempt to find hobbies - I've tried various activities in the hopes of making new friends but it just doesn't seem to present any opportunities.   I used to go to the gym but depression made that impossible to keep up and it's too expensive without enough benefit (it doesn't make me feel better/help my depression but rather it causes depression as I get down about lack of progress and going on my own). Same goes for dance classes, I ended-up feeling ugly seeing myself in the studio mirror and felt lonely because other women seemed to all get along but none seemed interested in trying to make friends with me.   There's not many places within walking distance, a walk in the park maybe but I can't very well do that every day - sometimes I might decide to give it a go but I end-up sleeping too late, or I realize I've not washed my hair, so I don't go - even looking further afield the cost of public transport is too high and I've been everywhere there is to go locally. Even jut going for a cup of coffee, it's £4 for the metro then £3 for the coffee which is too much when unemployed.   So where does this leave me?   I need to get out the house.   I need routine or things to do.  I need to try to meet people to make friends.  But I have no reason to leave the house, I'm out of ideas.   Is this just my depression trying to sabotage me? I don't understand how other people find things to do.",-0.9974,negative,ashamed
405,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me leave my house...,listener_1,2,"Hey, I can recognize some of that. This may sound silly - but i can recommend playing Pokemon Go. It's fun, it's free (if you have a smartphone), it's safe and it's a reason to go outside. It's also a reason to meet new people - e.g. for raids you need a local team of players fighting together, you can find them in local facebook groups. You can also add people as friends and exchange gifts - these can be from all over the world. Maybe you will end up ""real"" friends, who knows? At least you won't make you go outside, you will actually want to do it. Good luck!",0.9871,positive,acknowledging
405,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me leave my house...,listener_2,3,This is a bloody good idea! My cousin was dealing with this and in the past two years of Pokemon Go he went from depressed to active and social.,-0.2244,negative,impressed
405,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me leave my house...,speaker,4,"Sorry but I'm not sure I understand, merely stepping outside has absolutely no benefit to me. I have no problems going outside, that's not what this post is about.",-0.4412,negative,sympathizing
405,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me leave my house...,listener_2,5,I won't bother then.,0.2584,positive,questioning
406,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really weird tonight.,speaker,1,"I deal with generalized anxiety disorder, I've been extremely anxious today. But suddenly I'm laying in bed and not feeling right. I can't tell if I'm less anxious but I suddenly have this floaty disconnected feeling. All I did was take a dose of kratom (an herb)... I take kratom every day though. I've taken it daily for 2 years. So it can't be that. I'm uncoordinated and almost having trouble typing this. My heart rate is at 84.... usually it's between 90 and 130... usually in the 100s, so strangely lower than usual. I recently started lamictal and baclofen, but haven't taken them since this morning.  What is happening 😐  I've taken baclofen 3 times in the last 2 days... just throwing that in there. I never feel like this.  I'm currently googling beginning symptoms of psychosis! That's how freaked out I am...  Someone just tell me you can relate or tell me that I'll be ok...",-0.9156,negative,anxious
406,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really weird tonight.,listener_1,2,I feel like that on a everyday basis tbh the best way to deal with it is to occupy your mind to take back control of yourself,0.7717,positive,suggesting
406,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really weird tonight.,speaker,3,Well i guess that makes me feel a little better.... lol but that really sucks for you! You must smoke some high thc weed every day 😂 but no really that does suck I'm sorry..,-0.6718,negative,sympathizing
407,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted youth,speaker,1,"Currently, I am a teenager that will be graduating from high-school this year. And as everyday goes by, going through the same routine again and again, constantly feeling empty while adding more and more cuts on myself, I feel like I'm throwing away my precious youth.   Everyday I felt like I should be out, have fun, talk to friends, take part in events and activities and enjoy youth while it last. Instead, here I am doing nothing, constantly staying indoors while my heart keeps getting heavier and heavier, and the cuts keep increasing.   I try to change, but I constantly have an extreme mood change when I'm having fun which makes me go from happy to moody, hence ruining the moment.  ​  I'm throwing away my precious youth that I can never regain.",0.9634,positive,sad
407,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted youth,listener_1,2,"I'm so sorry to hear You're going through this... Have You sought out therapy? Cutting is never an answers (coming from a person who used to cut as a teen).  I'm sorry I can't offer substantial advice to make You feel better. But I can talk from personal experience having been in a similar situation as You.   I've always been an introvert and an indoors person, I loved spending time on the computer. Then high school came around which meant I had to change schools + social media and technology got much bigger with everyone suddenly having smartphones. I saw everyone being out going, I heard people talking about their parties and what not and I felt like I was missing out on life. I got into an extremely bad place, that's when I started cutting. I felt like a freak, like I'm wasting my time. I also started going to my schools therapist. What I learnt from her and the years after high school (the time when I keep remembering her advice but only now do I believe it having experienced it for myself) is that You don't have to be outgoing. You do not. You don't need to be like everyone else and force Yourself to go out when You can't or don't want to, when You're not feeling up for it. It's okay. It is. You're not wasting a single second by being different. You're not wasting a single second by not going out. And don't think that these are the only ""good years"" you have left. You'll be able to go outside even when You're older and You'll enjoy it much more. I know You feel pressured to be ""like everyone else"" because that's what puberty and high school does to us, but You don't have to be. Youth is overrated, life doesn't end when Your first wrinkle or gray hair shows. It's okay to feel unwell and like You don't want to go out. You don't have to force Yourself to do it and You shouldn't beat Yourself up for it.",0.9819,positive,sympathizing
407,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted youth,speaker,3,"Thanks for your concern. No, I've never been to therapy, neither do people around me know what's going through in my head. I just never felt that my situation is serious enough that require therapy or deserve other people's attention.  Personally, I felt that my youth in wasted mainly due to negative thoughts, extreme mood swings, self harm and etc. I should be be happy instead.  Aside from that, I'm glad that you're in a better place now, or at least I hope you are.",0.5719,positive,grateful
407,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted youth,listener_1,4,"Don't compare Yourself to others. Your situation is serious enough if You feel it's affecting Your life in a way You don't want it to. Cutting is a very u healthy coping mechanism and I wish I had some advice on how to stop it.. I've seen a post where supposedly a girl was advised by her therapist to draw with a non sharp object (like a non toxic marker) on all the places that she would want to cut, supposedly. I can't verify if it's true and if it really has helped anyone, but that's honestly the only suggestion I can offer, I'm sorry.  I really hope You seek out professional help. Mental health is as important as physical health. You're not feeling well so don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Don't diminish Your suffering just because someone else, somewhere is feeling worse. There will always be someone worse off, but this will never invalidate Your own feelings and experiences.   One of the things that helped me was that I had a goal ""to be happy"". It's silly, it's stupid, I know. But I ended up googling a lot on this ""how to be happy"" thing. I'm not a professional, I don't know if any of it actually helps or is just a placebo. But I did anything I could find that required the least amount of effort. Even if I didn't believe in it (for example: positive self talk). It won't erase the problem, but might help even if just slightly, to cope with it.   Thank You for Your concern, it's really sweet of You and I am better now. Far from perfect or what I'd consider ""good"" (I slip up much too often). Hope this serves as a reminder to You that thins DO get better.   I'm sending You all my love to get better.",0.9974,positive,apprehensive
407,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted youth,speaker,5,"The fact that you’re willing to help, giving me advice and showing me some light already helps me a lot. So thank you :)",0.9217,positive,grateful
408,MentalHealthSupport,Am I in the wrong here?,speaker,1,"I've been friends with this person for about 4 years and I trust them more than almost anyone else.  We got into an argument because he was upset over me being too short-tempered, so I confessed that I've been dealing with anger issues for a year now and depression for 3.  I've struggled with suicide, and until recently nothing had made me feel genuinely happy or proud of myself.  I felt for so long that I was a terrible person and my anger issues towards others stemmed from that.  I told him I'm working on getting better and that I have made steps in my relationship with my family, which was not doing well before and he understood that I'm working on changing and being less short-tempered with him.  He was the first and only person I've ever told, because I was afraid to talk about it.  He understood and said he was open to talk at any time.  He then told me that he hasn't been honest with me either, and then came out as bi.  Now, I have no problem with that.  I support him completely and while I'm straight so I can't understand what it's like, I can still offer my support and acceptance.  However, I feel upset at him because of the timing.  This was really important to me, and I feel like all of a sudden the conversation was about him and my problems that consumed my life for so long were dismissed.  If he had come out as part of its own conversation there would have been no problem, but he made it almost like a competition, like who has the most difficult problems.  I just wanted to talk to a friend about what's been such a huge difficulty in my life, and I feel like he made the conversation about him.  Am I in the wrong for feeling this way?  Am I just trying to put my problems above others and be the center of attention?  Or was it self centered of him to take my moment of vulnerability to tell me about his own struggles and make it about him?  If so, how can I talk to him about this so it can be resolved peacefully?",-0.264,negative,trusting
408,MentalHealthSupport,Am I in the wrong here?,listener_1,2,Maybe he chose that timing because it felt like a moment of kinship and he felt safe as a result?,0.6597,positive,suggesting
408,MentalHealthSupport,Am I in the wrong here?,speaker,3,"I understand that, but it was a time when I needed his support, and he asked for my support instead.  He said I could talk to him in the future, but that was a time when I finally was willing to talk to someone, and He changed the subject.",0.7964,positive,trusting
409,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy? (Only read what’s not in brackets unless you want more detail),speaker,1,"It is hard to write this without a sick feeling in my stomach. Before I start, I need to tell you I’ve been admitted to many psych wards and then discharged because there was nothing clinical with my problems. With all that said- let’s get into it. [I will put unnecessary details in brackets]  I had just started my freshman year of high school and I had no friends aside from maybe a few people I joke with.  At this point I was still depressed and was always making threats of hurting myself (A few instances where I did). I would kill for someone to click with and to this day there’s no one.    It was before Christmas break maybe a few days before and the theater teacher decided to put on a small show with his advanced class and it was altogether a shitty high school play about someone who didn’t like Christmas then they found love blah blah blah. Anyways, the lead role. I shouldn’t say his name but it was so strange and to say it. So unique.   [The moment I laid eyes on him I wasted no time blinking to miss his face. His face was shown briefly in the start and it was sad for me to lose track of where he was. Then his voice. Not what you’d expect. He had an unidentifiable accent that I still have no idea what it is. Enough about his appearance I guess. ]  I couldn’t believe how hard my heart was beating when he would be the one in the center. The loose plot was all I could make out because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him and once it ended it was no mystery that I was in love with him. At least that’s what I thought...  I ran outside to the buses and gushed to someone who I assumed I could. She thought it was cute and pointed him out behind a pillar. I almost cried. My anxiety skyrocketed from 3 to 12 and it was hard to breathe. She insisted I tell him how I thought his acting was very nice (and oh my it was). I choked on my words like I hadn’t drunk water or something. The feeling was foreign. I’ve never been this terrible around someone. I finally told him weakly that I liked how he was in the play and he quietly said thanks but I couldn’t hear it mostly because I was running for my dear life inside the school.   [From then on I starting asking around if anyone knew him and no one did. Seemed crazy because in my eyes he was the epitome of perfection. And he still is. I started seeing him in the halls and I felt like sobbing. My heart was out of my chest and in my throat. ]  [Keep in mind, I’m below average looks-wise. Very chubby and short and lots of acne and sweating. (Not attractive to boys). He never gave it a second thought that I was interested in him. ]  Skip to next semester. My dumbass was like “oh what if I have classes with him” the second I spot him in the same room as me, I teared up and silently prayed we were seated next to each other. Obviously not and never paired the whole rest of the year. He’s quiet. Cute. People were creeped out by him but it made no sense.   I kept a journal. It started innocent daydreams and me writing about him being cute. It took a turn for the worse when my thoughts turned dark. I fantasized. I obsessed. For months I obsessed. I stalked of him. I ended up acquiring friends who knew him and who told me quite a bit of what I needed to know. I knew his age, grade, personality in a whole.   I soon found out why people didn’t like him but that never bothered me one bit as I continued to dig deeper. It got to the point where I knew his job and where he lived and his contact information. Things about him that was of no use. I talked about him too much. My journal was almost full and my drawing pad was full of him. Everything was him. I felt like i was going crazy for this guy but I don’t feel bad about it.   I texted him. I made a fake instagram account in order to talk to him but it went too far and I confessed it was me. He was ok with it but he did know about the stalking (to some extent) he knew not of the pictures and notes of his looks. I write about him nightly still.   We texted more and more. But then I snapped. I sent him the pictures of him and all my fantasies on paper. I told him how much I needed and loved him to the extent that I’d kill him. I’ve told my therapist this but she didn’t care much- probably expecting I was making things up. He seemed unfazed and it made me mad. I wanted him to be scared. I wanted to manipulate him but it didn’t work. I apologized experimentally and he really just wanted to continue being friends.   We still talk to this day but he doesn’t know how bad I have it for him. Oblivious and beautiful.  My fantasies go beyond the norm to the point where I scare myself. I visualize cutting him apart while still making out with him and just loving his cries and screams. I still want to have him all alone to myself but it’s unrealistic and I’ve given up with taking action physically but I still feel like I want to do bad things to him.   Believe me; I don’t just want sexual things with him. I want to hug him softly and kiss his head and play with his hair and hold his hand. What is wrong with me anyways?  I miss his voice and seeing face. Of course I have the pictures but it doesn’t feel the same...  To make a long story short: I planned on kidnapping and raping a boy I love.    True story about my struggles with obsession.",-0.8931,negative,embarrassed
409,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy? (Only read what’s not in brackets unless you want more detail),listener_1,2,"What exactly is your question?  Obsession is obviously a thing here. Why were you in a psych ward so many times? What diagnoses did they give you? At least in the US, they HAVE to give you some diagnosis for billing purposes.",-0.4479,negative,questioning
409,MentalHealthSupport,Am I going crazy? (Only read what’s not in brackets unless you want more detail),speaker,3,I was put on anti psychotics for homicidal tendencies but since I told them I’m too Pusey to actually kill anyone they released me each time but after a few months I feared for my sanity,-0.926,negative,apprehensive
410,MentalHealthSupport,Came off SSRI (slowly) and one month after stopping completely I’m suffering from anxiety as bad as when I started them + disturbing intrusive thoughts + low mood.,speaker,1,"   I’m in my mid 20s and started antidepressants last year in October. Apart from a few side effects that weren’t so great I felt so much better when I was taking them and now I feel terrible, despite everything (mindfulness/self care) I’m doing to try and help myself. Last weekend it was like a switch flipped and since then my mental health has been going steadily down hill. Not really sure if this is a longer term discontinuation symptom or if my anxiety is coming back. Looking for a bit of advice really, I don’t know if anyone else might have experienced this? Thank you in advance if you read this.",0.8355,positive,sad
410,MentalHealthSupport,Came off SSRI (slowly) and one month after stopping completely I’m suffering from anxiety as bad as when I started them + disturbing intrusive thoughts + low mood.,listener_1,2,"Why did you go off your meds? I tried a few years ago because I thought I was supposed to, pretty much because I believed it was weak of me. I had to go back on because I just reverted to how I felt pre-medication, and I've been grateful for my medication since",0.5106,positive,grateful
410,MentalHealthSupport,Came off SSRI (slowly) and one month after stopping completely I’m suffering from anxiety as bad as when I started them + disturbing intrusive thoughts + low mood.,speaker,3,"It was a combination of feeling better, pressure and getting a bit tired of my side effects. My doctor actually suggested it. Think I’ll go see her this week",-0.1779,negative,surprised
410,MentalHealthSupport,Came off SSRI (slowly) and one month after stopping completely I’m suffering from anxiety as bad as when I started them + disturbing intrusive thoughts + low mood.,listener_1,4,"Definitely go see her! I'm not saying you have to stay on, but your doctor should help you. I just remember going off was just a bad choice in my case",-0.1635,negative,agreeing
410,MentalHealthSupport,Came off SSRI (slowly) and one month after stopping completely I’m suffering from anxiety as bad as when I started them + disturbing intrusive thoughts + low mood.,speaker,5,Yea I’ve heard it can differ a lot for different people. I’m going back to the doc this week and Try to figure this is something that will improve or I need to start retaking them. Thanks,0.7003,positive,acknowledging
411,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,speaker,1,Im on mobile ao sorry if i mispell anything So lately i get really nervous and shakey and even a bit sweaty when i in a crowd or with people i dont know. Im not sure if its anything bad or if i should be worried or not. What should i do about it?  PS sorry if i posted this on a wrong thread. Theres so many and im not sure where to put this on.,-0.9289,negative,sympathizing
411,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_1,2,Social anxiety. People can legitimately be scary. Very understandable,-0.5994,negative,agreeing
411,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,speaker,3,Thanks man you anwered a question thatd been on my mind for a while now. Thanks for your help.,0.8176,positive,neutral
412,MentalHealthSupport,Fucking pissed,speaker,1,"I've been battling depression, most recent suicide attempt was March (ended up in a psych hospital for five weeks).  Barely stabilised when I found out I was pregnant and had to come off all the meds.  So I'm using non-medical methods of tackling the depression. Yesterday I finished building a ""grass run"" for my rabbits and was pleased that they enjoyed it. There's still a few tweaks needed (as the video at the bottom shows, my fat rabbit can get his head out at the corner of the gate).  Proud of my achievement, I posted about it to r/pets and thought nothing else of it. I mentioned that my Rabbits had fun on the grass and my dog had fun chasing them.  Enter keyboard warriors criticising me for letting my dog chase them. She's outside the run, they're inside, she can't harm them accidentally, and they're not afraid of her because their main run is outside too and they're used to her.  Even after giving context, however, and showing the video below, they still kept up with the criticism and down-voting of any comment providing context.  FFS, it's not like I tossed them in with a dog they didn't know!  The dog and the black rabbit are actually besties. The white rabbit isn't besties with the dog, but he's not scared of her either (as this video CLEARLY shows).  It ruined my morning. I'm sick to death of keyboard warriors shitting on people.  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-MgExH2F2WMhlyiSLHwkfJzzZvOCm4Bq/view?usp=drivesdk",-0.9307,negative,proud
412,MentalHealthSupport,Fucking pissed,listener_1,2,Me and my family have rabbits when they’re out in the pen my dog always chases them it’s a game animals play it’s harmless!  All they’re trying to do is create a argument or reaction from you because they have nothing better to do than make someone else feel bad!  Honestly if you felt that good after completing it continue to do more helpful constructive things for yourself pets/family and you’ll be a lot happier and see yourself change into the happy you. Don’t let fools on the internet get you down they’re out there to get you it’s sad af but that’s our world unfortunately. You’re bigger and better make sure you don’t let them win 💪 keep yourself happy,0.9637,positive,joyful
412,MentalHealthSupport,Fucking pissed,speaker,3,"This helped. Thank you so much!  Depression plus hormones kinda makes me an easy target just now (I'm usually thick-skinned, being an advocate does that; people don't like hearing that marginalised groups have rights lol)",0.3407,positive,acknowledging
412,MentalHealthSupport,Fucking pissed,speaker,4,"It's not that I care per se. It just gets under my skin.  It normally wouldn't, but depression plus hormones lol",0.7835,positive,annoyed
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,speaker,1,"I've learned this the hardway. You need love and support from friends and family if you are ever going to make anything of your life or be happy. I know this now after 42 years and much mental health troubles and dreams of suicide. If you feel love from God, parents or friends you will be ok. If you have none of that you might turn into a homeless wreak on the street or a subversive psychopath wandering in the midst in public like me. I've realized this far to late down the road. Please learn from me people.",0.9648,positive,grateful
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,listener_1,2,"I agree but you also need to learn to love yourself too and trust in god that he is there for you always with unconditional love but god works on his own time he doesn’t grant wishes at the snap of his finger in an instant like a genie in a bottle you must be patient and openminded enough to see his work in your life and give him the glory when you do , gods grace is awesome but definitely in a mortal sense love of friends and family is a must for sure. Like the beetles said all you need is Love [all you need is love ](https://youtu.be/4EGczv7iiEk)",0.9978,positive,agreeing
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,speaker,3,Thank you for your kind words. I guess i could still learn to love myself this late in the game still.,0.8779,positive,wishing
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,listener_1,4,"Your very welcome, yea your right it’s never too late to love yourself",0.8173,positive,acknowledging
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,speaker,5,What do you do if you have no family or friends though. Too late for all that.,-0.5795,negative,lonely
413,MentalHealthSupport,You need love and support,listener_1,6,I’m sorry if you don’t have the love & support of your family and don’t have any friends but you always have Gods love you can count on,0.9032,positive,sympathizing
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_2,1,"To begin I know I have ADHD and depression.  So for over the past 3-ish years I've noticed that I started to care less about people. As well I noticed that my emotions have been going away and I don't feel any sympathy for people anymore. Also I got these strong urges to break/hit/hurt someone or something. On top of that in almost all of my dreams I have I kill people and when I wake up I feel so much pleasure. I also get thoughts of doing harm to people, I enjoy seeing people suffering and I like to play with people's emotions.",0.7243,positive,guilty
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_3,2,"so do i, i was diagnosed with OCD, BPD",0.0,neutral,neutral
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_2,3,"Not 100% sure but I think there was a trigger, it happened about a year before I started to realize everything",-0.1232,negative,neutral
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_4,4,"Was the trigger the catalyst, or did it bring back memories of a previous trauma?",-0.4215,negative,questioning
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_2,5,"It was probably the catalyst, never had any previous trauma just small bad shit happen a lot constantly",-0.872,negative,neutral
413,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something wrong with me?,listener_4,6,"Well, my guess would be that this triggering event caused something to switch in your brain, possibly along the lines of PTSD (hard to say without knowing what happened, and I'm not going to probe), and created feelings of anger, resentment, injustice, or something like that which is now affecting your mindset and subconscious.  Absolutely guessing there, but that's how it looks from what you've said.  If I'm right, counselling or psychotherapy could help greatly. If that's not available, peer support groups could also be beneficial.",0.3534,positive,suggesting
414,MentalHealthSupport,What is mental abuse?,speaker,1,"I know the basics of it like telling you that you will never amount to anything, but I just want to know the deeper things for example is yelling at a teen to stop crying (which makes him start crying more) mental abuse? I am just in a pickle",-0.9525,negative,apprehensive
414,MentalHealthSupport,What is mental abuse?,listener_1,2,"It depends on the situation, but in this case, most likely yes",0.6082,positive,agreeing
414,MentalHealthSupport,What is mental abuse?,speaker,3,"If you do want a little more back story here it is, but either way thank you for your help  The crying started as the teen had done something wrong, he fully admits this however would not like to disclose what it was however the parent then started yelling at the teen demeaning him and getting more excited as he got angrier then when the child had a meltdown capable of destroying a planet, the parent yelled at him to stop. Then continued for a while longer",-0.7897,negative,neutral
414,MentalHealthSupport,What is mental abuse?,listener_2,4,"Yep, I'll agree that's over the top",0.6705,positive,agreeing
415,MentalHealthSupport,I've been dealing with ups and downs and I'm fed up with it.,speaker,1,"I'm fed up with my ups and downs and I need some advice on how to deal with them better or maybe just someone who listens...   A little background on me:   I'm a 24 year old woman who's had a difficult youth. Both my parents are kind of psycho and I've only got my grandfather who cares about me. (He has cancer now) I've dealt with mental, physical and sexual abuse, neglect, manipulation, abandonment issues,... most of my life. I didn't have any protection from my family so I fell in the hands of wrong people when I was way to young.  My mother just turned a blind eye to everything that happened to me, tried to commit suicide twice, blaming everything on everyone else and took a guy in (who I didnt know and was addicted to drugs) which made me leave my home eventually at 20. My father doesn't care either. He knew about the sexual abuse by a family member and never did anything about it.   Leaving my home at 20 (I never had a stable place to live at) really crushed me, but I had to go. I didn't feel safe. I tried to get help from the governement but that didn't work out. I quit my studies and moved to my boyfriend abroad because I felt I had nowhere to go. I had no money and no degree, no experience at all.  Eventually I ended up marrying the guy and since we moved back to my home country everything just went to shit. My marriage ended after 2 years because my mental health took a toll on our relationship. He was fed up with it and I had such bad moodswings and anger issues that it became to much and I ended the relationship. Its been almost 8 months since the marriage ended. He eventually kicked me out. We still talk but its just the practical things. I've got a job now and that's all good. I've money for the first time in my life and I'm dating someone new. But I'm still not happy.   I also got borderline personality disorder, not fully but the psychiatrist says I got traits. I take medication for Borderline. I'm deeply sad inside. I can't shake it of. And I'm fed up with it. The psychiatrist says I'm not depressed and I don't feel depressed. I'm just not happy. That's the best way to describe it. I've struggled with suicide thoughts in the past 8 months but I called the suicide hotline and they helped me really well, but the thoughts are sometimes still present.  I've just had an amazing weekend with the new guy I'm dating but I felt overstimulated for some reason. Just like I felt in my marriage. There were happy feelings that turned sad.  Every emotion that I feel, hits me twice as hard and nobody else around me notices. It's like when I get overstimulated, I need time off from the world but at the same time I crave for someone to be there. It's frustrating.   I'm stuck at this point.",-0.99,negative,lonely
415,MentalHealthSupport,I've been dealing with ups and downs and I'm fed up with it.,listener_1,2,So sorry to hear all you went through. Have you tried to get a recommend therapist to see if they can help you with all the emotions you are going though and see if they can help you with any issues you are having. I have a mental health consultant and a therapist it's good to create a team of professionals if you can to help out.,0.9187,positive,sympathizing
415,MentalHealthSupport,I've been dealing with ups and downs and I'm fed up with it.,speaker,3,Thank you. Im actually seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. It's helpful.,0.6486,positive,acknowledging
416,MentalHealthSupport,"TW: Sexual abuse, neglect (but not focussed on these, it's actually a feel-good)",speaker,1,"It's 1am here in my part of upside-down land, and I just checked on my son, who is 18 months old.  He had uncovered himself in his sleep so I tucked him in, told him I love him, and kissed him on the forehead.  I was badly abused as a kid. Night is bad because it reminds me of creeping hands and shivering in the cold. Tye demons come out to play at night, and I'm most prone to flashbacks and switches at night.  But not tonight. Tonight I tucked my little boy in and kept him safe and warm, and he's sleeping soundly because that's all he knows.  Who knew a little boy could be the antidote just by existing? 😁",0.8705,positive,nostalgic
416,MentalHealthSupport,"TW: Sexual abuse, neglect (but not focussed on these, it's actually a feel-good)",listener_1,2,"Bless you, children are therapy aren't they?! all he knows is love, you should be proud of yourself . I have 3 little girls, my youngest is 17 months. I hope nights get easier for you, being happy in the knowledge you cannot be hurt anymore and you are keeping your child safe and protected. Glad it was a good night x",0.9864,positive,grateful
416,MentalHealthSupport,"TW: Sexual abuse, neglect (but not focussed on these, it's actually a feel-good)",speaker,3,"I needed those kind words right now. My Mum went behind my back to find out the gender of this baby (which was supposed to be kept secret until the reveal!) and when I confronted her, she put on the waterworks about how she feels worthless and wants to end it blah blah blah  She's not suicidal. She uses the same line every time someone confronts her about her behaviour.  But I've been so upset and angry and so it was nice to come here and see something positive.",-0.1522,negative,grateful
416,MentalHealthSupport,"TW: Sexual abuse, neglect (but not focussed on these, it's actually a feel-good)",speaker,4,I am very grateful you have your dogs!,0.5551,positive,grateful
417,MentalHealthSupport,Partner with Bipolar Losing Job,speaker,1,"Hey you guys Iv never posted here before, but I had no one else to turn too. A year ago I met a young gentleman and we fell head over heals for each other. The problem was I was his superior and we met at work. Soon after we started living together to allow us to grow outside of work. Recently I have been diagnosed with depression and debilitating anxiety. I myself have a rare form of blood cancer, and any bit of stress puts me out of remission. Last week he lost his job, was afraid to come to me to express this. He has been just depressed and mopping around and iv done what I can to motivate him despite his bipolar is taking over. Recently I have been taking Xanax that was prescribed by my dr to cope with the situation. He know is hell bend on the idea I’m numbing to escape him, but ultimately I’m just trying to keep my disorders at ease and not get any new medical bills due to stress hospitalizing me for my blood. Any ideas on how I can get through to him? I work 50-60 hours a week and have always been the breadwinner in our household, but how can I help? Iv bought clothes for interviews,  provided a vehicle for interviews and keep mentioning there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t afford to be stuck, we have a household that I can barely to keep me afloat and EVERYTIME I come home he’s sleeping.   Thoughts?",-0.9824,negative,trusting
417,MentalHealthSupport,Partner with Bipolar Losing Job,listener_1,2,It sounds like a depressive phase so I'm not sure there's much you can do besides reassure him.  That's a rough situation ☹️,-0.3238,negative,questioning
417,MentalHealthSupport,Partner with Bipolar Losing Job,speaker,3,"Trying to take things say by day. That’s what I have been doing. Thanks for commenting, I’m just lost.",0.1531,positive,sad
417,MentalHealthSupport,Partner with Bipolar Losing Job,listener_1,4,"It's not an easy situation, that's for sure.",-0.0274,neutral,agreeing
417,MentalHealthSupport,Partner with Bipolar Losing Job,speaker,5,If you ever need someone to talk to dm me I’m here for you.,0.0,neutral,faithful
418,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of being yourself ?,speaker,1,"Ok so I'm here writing for first time asking if someone in here has ever have to deal with the struggle of no liking yourself, and if that's a yes, what made you change your life and become more positive person ?  I mean I have everything my boyfriend it's the best , my family loves me , I have a job , and still the only thing I'm not comfortable with, it's myself, so how on earth people who have been through this get over it ?",0.8955,positive,questioning
418,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of being yourself ?,listener_1,2,"I feel you. I really don't like myself. I feel mean and self-centered. Honestly, I get is tired of being me.",-0.3156,negative,ashamed
418,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of being yourself ?,speaker,3,But what if I spare all my time and effort for others instead of myself ?,0.0,neutral,caring
418,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of being yourself ?,listener_2,4,Just give yourself to others out of kindness when you feel they need it. Listen to others and take care of yourself.,0.7351,positive,caring
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,1,I getting random flashbacks from a trauma it’s making me crazy and really sad. What can I do about it? Can’t get it out of my mind and they are really scary..,-0.9019,negative,terrified
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,2,Go to a professional. It's most likely a form of PTSD. The best person to help you with that is a professional,0.7845,positive,apprehensive
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,3,Fuck :(,-0.7506,negative,angry
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,4,"And stay calm. Nothing is going to hurt you. If you need a friend, I'm here",0.2732,positive,faithful
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,5,"Don't worry. Stay calm, you're going to be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise",0.7502,positive,faithful
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,6,"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'm not a professional or anything, but I'm open to listening and helping in any way I can",0.4215,positive,caring
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,7,♥️thnx,0.6369,positive,wishing
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,8,Your welcome. I'd love to hear more about what you're going through,0.802,positive,sympathizing
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,9,You dont wanne hear that.. its fuckt up,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,10,Yes! Its making me crazy..,0.1511,positive,agreeing
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_2,11,"Mine have been getting really bad lately. Something that really set my memory off the other day was watching starwars episode one. When I closed my eyes I could literally see layers of times which I saw the movie through my youth.  I could see my family in the theater, me watching it as a teen multiple times and then rewatching it live as an adult. The strange thing was that there were black layers surrounding a round tunnel like vertical tube. The strangest part was that it seemed out of body moving between the time periods. Each time I could see through my own eyes and briefly seeing my body and the tube as I went between the times. During this I also felt a pretty severe headache. It felt like a sort of mild burning spike in my mind. It felt like I had seen something that I was not meant to see. I’m still a little worried about it. (Hopefully I don’t sound too nuts) it was certainly something bizarre.",0.2732,positive,nostalgic
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,12,I want to hear it so you have someone to talk to,0.0772,positive,consoling
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,13,But thats a good memory..😂,0.8271,positive,neutral
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_2,14,Yes luckily it was a good memory. I can’t imagine going through that with a bad one.,0.6597,positive,neutral
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,15,I only got bad memories it’s about my suicide attempt,-0.8402,negative,sad
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,16,Pretty hard for a alcoholic and depressed person and suicidal..  and I have no feelings anymore,-0.802,negative,sad
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,17,That’s nice :),0.7003,positive,acknowledging
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,18,"So if you need to talk to someone, I'm here :)",0.4588,positive,sympathizing
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,19,Yay :) I am very tired.. just done with work,0.4951,positive,content
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_1,20,"Okay. Whenever you want to talk, just send me a message",0.29600000000000004,positive,questioning
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,21,Same Same :),0.4588,positive,acknowledging
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_2,22,Shove* out the sadness. Funny typo lol.,0.4215,positive,sympathizing
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,23,😂,0.4404,positive,embarrassed
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,listener_2,24,When you feel bad just shit out that sadness. That’s the trick! I should write a self help book.   Do certain memories trigger you? What are your main struggles?,-0.8608,negative,sad
419,MentalHealthSupport,Random flashbacks,speaker,25,Its completly random.. the empty feeling is making me crazy,-0.4019,negative,surprised
420,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else feel numb??,speaker,1,"I don't really know how to start this post off. I just have an overwhelming sense of numbness. I've been in a relationship for two years now and I am head over heels in love with this man, but I have a hard time expressing my feelings and really ""feeling"". When I compare myself to other people, it's like they can cry and feel emotions especially love, so easily. I feel like I have to push myself to even feel love for my family and friends.   Maybe people would say that it's a reflection on how I view myself, but I don't think that's it either. I love who I am and I am very proud of how far I have come. But it's like something is missing that is like the ""glue"" to my life. It's like I have an emotional disconnection to everything.   ​  I don't know if this makes any sense. But I'd love some input.",0.9951,positive,sentimental
420,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else feel numb??,listener_1,2,I literally feel the same. I would also like input.,0.3612,positive,agreeing
420,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone else feel numb??,speaker,3,"I am not nor have i ever been on any antidepressants. I have not seen a therapist either. Made an appointment for next month, but i am pretty terrified to go.",-0.29600000000000004,negative,apprehensive
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,1,"I lost interest in a lot of things in life, and the next are my friends. Hanging out with them feels no longer like an exciting thing more like a burden. I usually get excited when I can hang out with them now I'm like oh great, so and so wants to hang out, I'd rather stay in. I also love and used to devote my time to club activities but now I'm like ""f\*\*\* that and everyone in the club"". I also tend to get really angry with people even though they might've done nothing wrong. Has anyone felt this way?",0.8793,positive,lonely
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,listener_1,2,"Yes, that happens to a lot of people. But don't run away. Don't give up. You'll feel better soon",0.6908,positive,consoling
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,3,"That's what I've been thinking too, just like fake my death or just run away, and start fresh where I have complete control over everything.",-0.4939,negative,agreeing
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,4,"I live with family, so it always feels like i'm with someone. I feel like once I live on my own it'd be easier to hibernate, but yeah. I'm going to try a day under the pillow though, and make an excuse like I'm sick or something so no one bothers me.",0.4468,positive,lonely
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,5,"I never thought of that, and you're right. I always expect us to have so much fun when we go out, or even hope for the rest of us to have fun, and I guess me just wanting everyone to have a good time is just super tiring and i just don't want it. I also used to tell my friends about my mental health problems last year where it became to the point that's all they talk about. No one let me in on anything that was going on in their life, just kind of like oh let's talk about you, how are you dealing with that, you need to do this, that blah blah. It just felt like they were my unpaid therapists, and yes I know I'm lucky for that but like no one treated me like a friend, yknow, it's kind of you having some disease and your friends talking to you about nothing but the disease, it's very isolating when everyone is talking about their lives and what happened and then they come to you and they're just talking about your feelings. Yes I want people to listen, but please just stop bringing it up, all. the. time. (""Yo what're you going to do about this"", ""You need to talk to your parents about the issue"", ""Are you getting better in the class?"") I'll tell you when i need to talk. Then the funny thing is, I started pretending I was fine, and that everything was fine and dandy. Said friends got closer to each other, and now they don't ask me anything at all. So it's like I can never win.",0.9926,positive,ashamed
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,6,"I stayed home for University, and you're right part of me goes insane because of it, I feel like I didn't get to start over. I do want to move away once I graduate so there's a fresh start.",0.3947,positive,lonely
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,speaker,7,"Yes I do feel a wave of sadness and happiness and I don't know what to do like I feel sad alot then I get a day or two where I feel fine, so I convince myself I'm fine.",0.7703,positive,content
421,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to cut ties with everyone and run away,listener_2,8,I think you need to talk to a therapist or see a counselor tbh. Talking about your feelings is important.,0.2023,positive,suggesting
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,speaker,1,"Hi, I'm a 15 year old male and I struggle with anxiety and depression. My brain feels like it fights with itself, like it doesn't even know what its doing anymore. Every day I feel bad for everything, I feel as if no one cares about me, or anything that I have to say, but anytime I feel I do find someone who cares, I feel that I'm an asshole, and driving them away. My friends say its not true and despite the fact my logic says they're right my brain still tries to bring me down. I've never told my parents of my issues for i feel it would just be a burden. Coupled with the irrational fear of judgment. And so instead I've suffered since i was 12 and its been getting worse. My brain is so against confused and against itself that my mood flips on dime for little to no reason, one minute I'll be perfectly fine and normal, the next ill be disheveled in a corner feeling like utter garbage, and then the other ill be snarky and assholish, the only reason i haven't killed myself at this point is i feel bad for the consequences it would cause, the people it would hurt. So I am stuck in this perpetual cycle of hell, with different side effects, I haven't gotten involved in drugs or anything, but I often stay away in my room in the dark and dont socialize, and sometimes cut myself to mark my mistakes to myself and if i dont do that i write all over myself in pen the things i feel wrong with my personality and physical being I feel that i dont live for myself anymore  I feel trapped",-0.9945,negative,ashamed
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,listener_1,2,"A lot of red flags going off here... Feeling like a burden, feeling unwanted, feeling like nobody likes you... Your self-worth is basically non-existent and it's robbing you of life.  Tell me one thing you like about yourself. I don't care what it is or how random or weird you might think it is. What's one thing you like about yourself?",0.7329,positive,questioning
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,speaker,3,"I took me a while, the only thing that came to mind was doing well academically",0.2732,positive,neutral
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,listener_1,4,"That's a really good starting point, and it's normal to take a while to begin with when you're used to talking bad about yourself.  What I was taught when I felt like you do is to start with one thing, which you have now identified. Tell yourself several times a day, ""I am smart and I do well academically"".  When you get comfortable doing this and it starts to come easily, find a second thing and add that to being smart. And then add a third thing, and a fourth thing, until you can look in the mirror and like what you see.  You're obviously not the terrible person you think you are because your friends and family tell you you're not, and they know you.  What you have is a little voice in your head that is a complete asshole to you. By finding things you like about yourself and reinforcing that, you can give power to a new voice instead, one that says, ""You know what? You're actually really likeable.""",0.9784,positive,proud
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,speaker,5,"Thank you for the advice and kind words, ill try my best to help myself",0.875,positive,grateful
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,speaker,6,"Thank you. I will take this advice and use it as well as I can, thank you for the kind words as well",0.8909999999999999,positive,wishing
422,MentalHealthSupport,I'm in perpetual hell,listener_1,7,"You're welcome. You're worth feeling good about yourself, please know that.",0.8625,positive,agreeing
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,speaker,1,"I(M19) had a handful of situation when was with my friends and fun started to roll i did or sayed some weird things (i slapped my friends(M18) thigh in class)  I consider this behaviour a being myself because i didnt thought much about what i was doing. Some friends says ""can you just act normal?"". I realized normal isn't my normal but their. When i interact with someone now i have to think about what they are thinking us normal.   Anyone else with similar experiences?",0.644,positive,ashamed
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,listener_1,2,"My suggestion would be to be yourself, but respect others by keeping your hands to yourself.  I doubt you're doing so on purpose, but touch is very personal and intimate and a lot of people feel uncomfortable with unwanted touch.  It's a fine line, but your freedom should never intrude on someone else's personal space.  Other than that, you do you 😁",0.8462,positive,trusting
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,speaker,3,Thank you :) I can control touches but speech is lot harder. I invented i rule for myself :D if you dont speak you cant say anything bad. No more mistakes but no more friendly conversations.,0.7432,positive,wishing
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,listener_1,4,"Is it compulsive, like you've said it before you thought it?",0.3612,positive,questioning
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,speaker,5,yeah..,0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
423,MentalHealthSupport,Being myself or having friends?,listener_1,6,That sounds like a tic. They're annoying because you don't get a chance to self-filter,-0.2359,negative,acknowledging
424,MentalHealthSupport,Should I get help?,speaker,1,"so this is going to be kind of a long one my parents got divorced when I was about eight years old and now fast forward about six years when I was 14 I left to go live with my dad and ever since then he's been going back and forth between California and home for work (he isn't allowed to.work remotely) but I have been living mostly alone for the past two years now with my brother rarely coming in I live with my cat and that's about it. Now I don't know what to do because I have been feeling alone and craving a close relationship with someone which is why I have been trying to get a girlfriend, been turned down every time sadly but that's not the point. I genuinely don't know what to do anymore because it feels like my life is just happening and I have no control over anything that happens anymore. I am surrounded by amazing friends that I truly love with all my heart but I still feel like I can't get as close to them as I crave. Even with these friends at times I feel still alone to the core. Idk what to do anymore, Reddit please help it would be much appreciated :)",0.9915,positive,lonely
424,MentalHealthSupport,Should I get help?,listener_1,2,"17 is by default an age where everything is weird. Please know that life does get better later on, and a lot of things (especially you, your thinking and your needs) change.   Personally, I encourage people to go talk to a therapist if they think they need to, even those who don't have any mental health issues. I just believe it helps to have an honest and unbiased view of things. Also, IF there are any problems, they might identify it and be able to help sooner.  From what you said, it seems to me that you need affection and closeness to someone, which is perfectly reasonable. Keep looking for your person, and you will find her. But remember in the meantime to love yourself also and live your life. Maybe it could also help you (if possible) to reach out to other members of your family and reconnect with them? I hope this helps you",0.9825,positive,trusting
424,MentalHealthSupport,Should I get help?,speaker,3,"Thanks for the reply, I had tryed to reconnect with my mom but Everytime shits going good she would just ruin it with some shit like a court date to try and take me away from my dad or something else. Don't get me wrong when it comes to my dad I still love him very much even if I dont see him too often. My mom has tried to get me to go to therapy but it was kinda forced so I didn't really want to got, also ngl I do kinda a lot of drugs like lsd, psylosibic shrooms, weed, LSA, xans and yea so I feel like I can't trust the therapist either and if I tell them about my living situation I'm pretty sure they would have to tell someone. So even if I do go to a therapist I don't trust them and have to keep up a front with them.",0.6958,positive,annoyed
424,MentalHealthSupport,Should I get help?,speaker,4,Lol I'll try it next time,0.4215,positive,suggesting
424,MentalHealthSupport,Should I get help?,listener_2,5,Here's hoping it helps you too 🤗,0.802,positive,encouraging
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,1,"I have OCD and must do things in groups of three, and yet I have to have volumes on an even number or a multiple of 5 or 7.  Why don't those rules contradict each other?",0.3098,positive,annoyed
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,listener_1,2,"Maybe because from an organisational point of view (i.e. thinking applied to objects), you feel like evens, 5s or 7s make sense; while, when doing something (i.e. actions), a more superstitious instinct kicks in, where 3s make more sense. I don't know if this is it, but that'show I would explain it to myself I guess.",0.1901,positive,suggesting
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,3,Seems logical,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,4,"That's not insensitive, nor does it sound judgemental.  What you're saying makes sense.",0.1695,positive,agreeing
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,listener_2,5,"Oh great. I have a close friend with OCD, and learned that helping to label OCD thoughts and behaviors helps some individuals to move on from that with less distress.  In this case, I suspected it's an OCD behavior because 1)I wouldn't guess anyone else I know would feel worried about those numbers this time and 2) often when we're feeling anxious and looking for reassurance, ( ""did I just say something?""""does this happen to others?"") that in itself might be a sign that it's an OCD thought.",0.8049,positive,trusting
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,6,"I shouldn't laugh,but I just had this mental image:  ""I'm not Officer, drunk, I was just lining my drinks up right!""",0.3244,positive,ashamed
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,7,"""Pure"" OCD? Righto. No such thing, but whatever helps you feel good about yourself.  1. This is not the sum total of OCD manifestations I deal with. It just occurred to me that they seem contradictory, and  2. OCD has many manifestations, and not every sufferer has every manifestation. My primary manifestation is hoarding.",0.7763,positive,ashamed
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,listener_2,8,"They're probably referring to ""purely obsessional"" or ""Pure O"" OCD. It might be a debatable term or distinction, but I don't think they meant it offensively : [https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/pure-ocd/](https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/pure-ocd/)",-0.7962,negative,embarrassed
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,9,"I just looked into this and most clinicians feel that this is more GAD than OCD, since GAD is obsessive thoughts and worry while OCD has a ritual compulsion (which can mental in nature and not necessarily a behaviour) component.  Definitely distressing, but not necessarily the same thing as OCD. That said, it's clear that the two disorders can co-exist in the same person, which would explain why assymetry bothers this person.  I recognise the presentation described; my issue with numbers is resolved by sitting it on one of the safe numbers, there's no compulsive component outside of that. The intrusive thought is that there is danger associated with a wrong number, such as potential for the device to explode. I am aware that this is irrational, but I have to fix it anyway.  But yeah, what I read from multiple clinician-based sources (your link was a peer support source, I don't tend to consider them credible) is that ""pure OCD"" is controversial as a diagnosis, with most believing that it fits better into GAD.",-0.128,negative,agreeing
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,listener_3,10,Huh. I never knew that. I’ll look more into GAD then instead of OCD.,0.0,neutral,neutral
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,speaker,11,"Best wishes either way (now I know you weren't competing, and I apologise for taking it that way).  From what I read, the distinction is only important because of how treatment/recovery is approached.",0.8481,positive,wishing
425,MentalHealthSupport,It just suddenly dawned on me how weird this is...,listener_3,12,Its okay.,0.2263,positive,neutral
426,MentalHealthSupport,Just Realized Im A Pathological Liar. How Do I Stop?,speaker,1,"I think my lying started when I was very young. I was an anxious, shy and bullied— yet aggressive— kid with a lot of issues. I wanted people to start liking me at one point, so I guess that’s when I started making up stories. Now that I’m older I impulsively lie without even thinking and at times I mix my lies up with the truth. I have a pretty bad memory and at one point was pretty delusional—but right now I want to be a truthful person and Im working on self love and forgiving myself. But now that I realized this I feel as if a large part of my social/personality is lost. (God I’m pitiful)   Does anyone have any tips of how to rebuild myself socially and to stop impulsively lying for no reason?",-0.8922,negative,ashamed
426,MentalHealthSupport,Just Realized Im A Pathological Liar. How Do I Stop?,listener_1,2,"I know what you are feeling. I had to make up lies to satisfy a distant father. I still slip sometimes, out of pressure to please and seem better than i am, but it's totally not worth it.   It's a crushing feeling to have to become honest about yourself and your situation. But it  can only serve you better in the long run to get your head on straight. You'll feel better and do better.",0.95,positive,trusting
426,MentalHealthSupport,Just Realized Im A Pathological Liar. How Do I Stop?,listener_2,3,i do this all the time. it has helped over the years.,0.0,neutral,neutral
426,MentalHealthSupport,Just Realized Im A Pathological Liar. How Do I Stop?,speaker,4,That actually sounds really good...I have journal that I need to use anyways...I should call it a ‘positivity’ journal I suppose.,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
427,MentalHealthSupport,Stepdaughter,speaker,1,"My 16 year old stepdaughter (I have been in her life for 4 years) has a lot of mental health issues, but because she is getting older her diagnosis has changed.  I am not discounting mental health BUT I am struggling with her in our home.  I am not exaggerating when I say the following:  She constantly lies, she constantly steals or takes what is not hers, she has to be watched all the time or she will hurt animals or young children, she cuts, she makes up these stories about how her life at home is abusive with parents that are violent and alcoholics (we don't drink nor are we violent or mean), she writes her former ex male guidance counselor several times an hour asking for help and writes like he is her boyfriend (he stopped responding), she lights fires, she lies and tells people she sneaks out at night and does drugs, she has accused our 12 year old neighbor of sexual assault (100 percent false), she has written detailed letters of how each member in her family will be murdered and said it was just a bad dream, she is defiant/rude, her dad works so she is with me all the time and calls me mom (all the other ""moms"" in her life have left). She is on medication and she is in therapy and has a psychologist. She was adopted and her bio parents suffer from mental health issues. I have even reached out for help. We are getting nowhere. My concern is now my family.  I have 2 boys (the youngest being 5) not with my husband, but from my previous relationship. I love my husband, but I have a duty to protect my kids.  What would you do? I am a split hair from moving out of the house.",-0.9886,negative,furious
427,MentalHealthSupport,Stepdaughter,listener_1,2,"My (step) daughter went through almost the same thing. I found getting her into an intensive mental health group and seeing a psychatrist helped immensely don't get me wrong she still has her days. But long gone are the days when she would wake her brother up with a knife to his throat. Steal my credit card, lie to my face even with all the evidence laid out in front of her. Screamed rape even though we had a hospital trip that stated otherwise. Called child safety on us multiple times whilst being the terrorizer of her siblings. It also took a few trips to the mental ward. It's mentally and physically taxing so please look after your own mental health and that of your family during this time.  I'm in Australia but we went through a group called Chyms (child youth mental health service) so hopefully there is a group similar to that in your hometown or close by.  Try to be there for her but try not to back down either. It's gonna be a hard road to walk, so make sure you have support for you, it's easier when you have someone to lean on and walk it with you.",0.9156,positive,furious
427,MentalHealthSupport,Stepdaughter,speaker,3,"Yes, when she was little. But now it’s looking like schizophrenic affective disorder.",0.1406,positive,afraid
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",speaker,1,"Ok so I haven't been diagnosed with anything fwi.  But it's gotten to the point where if I'm alone or not busy I get really depressed about random stuff, and I can't help it, I always put happy music on to try and help but it doesn't. I've had the most amazing weekend ever from Friday to Monday I was at a friend's house and ive never laughed so much in such a short amount of time in my life. But now (Tuesday) I just feel awful, empty, sad. And idk why.  And I have this real problem where I get REALLY paranoid and panicky when my friends talk about going places and don't stuff. Like one friend is going to Amsterdam with friends and whenever I think about it I get this deep unsettling pit in my stomach. And sometimes I start shivering and get a headache.   I really don't know what to do. Is this something I should worry about or am I just over thinking everything and I'm the same as everyone else?  Its been eating away at me for a while and this is the first time I've reached out as it's getting unbearable.  Thanks ♥️♥️♥️",0.9023,positive,sad
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",listener_1,2,"Maybe your extroverted, and something else is making those feelings worse. It might just be that you really need to be around people. Don't worry, you're going to be okay. I'm really sorry, I really wish I could help more",0.6492,positive,sympathizing
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",speaker,3,I'm not though. I like being inside the house. And there is something that makes everything worse but that's personal.,-0.3828,negative,afraid
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",listener_1,4,"I'm really sorry. I'm not an expert, and I really wish I could help you. The most I can do is give you someone to talk to",0.6249,positive,sympathizing
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",speaker,5,Does this sound like anything serious?,0.29600000000000004,positive,questioning
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",listener_1,6,"From my very limited knowledge, it doesn't seem to be. It seems to be just something with your personality, not anything serious. But again, I'm not an expert. I'm sorry",-0.2348,negative,sympathizing
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",speaker,7,"its okay, thanks for the help",0.7579,positive,acknowledging
428,MentalHealthSupport,"Whenever I'm alone I get really depressed, and I worry about my friends too much",listener_1,8,"If you need someone to talk to, I'd like to volunteer",0.3612,positive,caring
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,speaker,1,"I'm very nervous writing this but to keep it short. I always struggled with depression/anxiety but it was never as bad till my car accident. I was diagnosed with a concussion and was told it heavily can affect my emotions.  It's been almost 8 months. I've been out of work, lost my car and I am alone most days with just my destructive thoughts. My coworkers, who I use to think were my friends (4 years working with them), started joking that they forgot who I was and most stopped talking to me period. Most my friends stopped communicating with me, even when I try to reach out to them. All the human interaction I have is with my mom who  works from morning to night, and my boyfriend. But I feel like such a burden. I just am struggling to find my worth. I am still searching for a psychologist from a docters request but found no luck. I just am so lost and I'm scared to look for support. If anyone has any advice or went through something simular, anything will be great. Thank you.",-0.8749,negative,lonely
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,listener_1,2,The reason some “friends “ go like that is because they don’t wanna hang or help someone who has changed that’s not a fault of your own at all but unfortunately that’s when you realise you’re a lot better off without people like that. My advice would be ( I was in a car accident over a year ago it was attempted suicide no idea how I’m still here but thankful every day) all the negative people who have given up on you kick them out you don’t need it. It’s very difficult I understand go see a doctor tell them some of your feelings and I’m very sure after a traumatic experience they’ll try they’re best to help. There are people out there who will support you every step of the way. And try and think positive each time you can! Talk to your boyfriend about it your mum. Find something you enjoy doing to it’s the best thing when you’ve found it. Just remember it’s just a bad spot everything will get better:),0.9013,positive,angry
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,speaker,3,"Thank you. I will express to my doctor my feelings, I have been reclusive lately.",0.3612,positive,trusting
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,listener_1,4,There is nothing to be ashamed of I know what’s it’s like I’m still going through headache and I refuse to talk about it because I’m stubborn 😂 it’s a wound not a scar it will heal look after yourself and keep yourself as happy as possible,0.7753,positive,ashamed
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,speaker,5,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,speaker,6,Thank you. My concussion is also grade 2. Thank you!,0.6476,positive,wishing
429,MentalHealthSupport,Post-Concussion Symptoms,listener_2,7,You're very welcome. And I'm sorry about the concussion. It really does suck and there's not much you can do but just give your brain time to heal. <3,-0.0239,neutral,sympathizing
430,MentalHealthSupport,Help I want to kill my self,speaker,1,I want to kill myself my life is crap come out of prison and lost friends family jobs money and the world to live someone please help me....  07516347995,-0.6705,negative,afraid
430,MentalHealthSupport,Help I want to kill my self,listener_1,2,What’s the number at the bottom? I would reach out to someone you know personally or a professional to receive the most effective in person help.,0.7574,positive,questioning
430,MentalHealthSupport,Help I want to kill my self,listener_2,3,I’m pretty sure that it’s a phone number,0.7003,positive,confident
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,1,"I know this might seem weird but I think we are all missing out on a golden opportunity here.  I mean think about it, nobody knows anybody on here and we're all suffering some type of bullshit.  This is a perfect opportunity to have a real honest conversation with people who are going through or have been through the same shit.  I'm not saying you're going to get some therapist-level advice because for that you need a therapist.  But these dont have to be therapy sessions.  Just legitimate conversations with people who are all here for the same reason.  Please feel free to leave your name in the comments if you too feel like you would like to have these conversations.  I'm not trying to be the only one.  I always feel better after talking with somebody who has been through this bullshit.  It's hard to admit what's been going on, but I promise you its healthy.  I'll take the first leap here:  I'm a 23 year old Man. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder and PTSD. I've been institutionalized several times. I've tried to commit suicide twice. I'm still here.  Lets help each other guys.  We can all beat this bullshit.",0.6249,positive,trusting
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",listener_1,2,"Honestly I would talk to people about my shit but I feel like I'd just be putting more on someone else's plate when they have their own problems to worry about. So I've been keeping it to myself and am on the verge of having a panic attack from stress, anxiety and just feeling overwhelmed with life right now.",-0.9568,negative,guilty
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,3,"If someone is asking you to talk to them then they're not going to feel burdened when you talk to them.  I understand that feeling though.  That's kind of why I did this.  Talk to me so you don't have that panic attack.  Honestly life is super overwhelming.  I mean there is just so many aspects that feel like they're always taking something from you, whether it be a monetary value or physical or mental.  And to top it all off you face these problems every day while your own mind is seemingly working against you.  But it's okay.  Trust me (as much as an internet stranger can say that).  One of the bright sides of going through all of these struggles is that when we face them in the future we can look back and say ""I've been here before and I got through it."" These things we go through dont make us weaker they make us stronger. I know it's hard to see that but how many times have had that ""I dont know, this seems pretty bad"" moment?  We're talking right now so that proves you can get through them.  I dont know the exact things that bring these feelings upon you, but if you would like to talk more in depth feel free to message me.",0.9756,positive,agreeing
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,4,"As much as meds may suck they are really important, right?  Granted if this particular medicine is causing more bad than good then definitely talk to your doctor about changing it.  But if this is a medication you have been taking for a long time and are just now off of it for the first time its important to realize that it is very much going to have an effect on your mind.  Your brain is getting used to the sudden change in the particular chemical your medicine was either promoting or blocking.  If that is the case, then anything that feels more severe than normal may have been brought on by this change.  However, I too struggle with this exact thought about my line of work.  I am a server/bartender/cook for a large chain restaurant.  I work here because the hours are really flexible which is a necessity for me as a student.  Sometimes though, I feel like it brings on a lot of my symptoms.  When this happens to me I find it helpful to one, remember that a large part of why I'm feeling this way is because I know I have a disorder and in reality the job may not be the problem, and also two, I think about the parts of my job I like more compared to other jobs I've had in the past.  For me it's the flexibility, I'm always busy so time goes by fast, the pay can be good, I like people I work with.  If you do this and you really cant think of anything good to say about it then maybe it is time to consider a new job.  But make sure to make that decision with everything I've said in mind, and also as a man who has spontaneously quit from many jobs, dont quit unless you will be financially stable before you get a new job.  Being super broke makes everybody feel worse.",0.9771,positive,agreeing
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",listener_1,5,Yea I needed to hear something like this today. Things are never as bad as our minds make it seem like they are but I do struggle with negative/intrusive thoughts. I know I've spent way too much time dwelling on everything bad in my life lately but I also work steady midnights where there's a lot of down time so my brain has a lot of time to overthink. I'm trying to get back on a day shift but job hunting can be stressful when you're not seeing any results.,-0.8616,negative,sad
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",listener_2,6,"It wasn't intentional, going off my meds. I didn't plan around a recent move well, so I ran out and I don't have an appointment with a doctor until September.   And yeah, I wondered if it was just my disorder talking, but I've been working in this field (editing) for almost a decade, and I'm still at the bottom of the chain. I'm tired of being a human spell check; I want a job that allows me to think more creatively. I wouldn't spontaneously quit, but knowing that I have to suffer because I'm responsible just makes me feel worse. Because then it's like I'm actively choosing to fuck up my mental health because I don't want to lose the only stable thing going for me (besides my marriage. That is solid, but I don't get paid for it lol)",0.5336,positive,ashamed
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,7,I understand that.  You know yourself better than anybody though.  It sounds like you're doing the right thing in looking for a change.  The only way to find a job is to keep looking though so don't give up even if right now you're not finding anything.,0.6597,positive,agreeing
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,8,"I 100% agree with you.  Even if people can appreciate what you're going through, its always good to hear from people who have actually been through it.",0.7964,positive,agreeing
431,MentalHealthSupport,"If you want to talk, message me.",speaker,9,"Hi, I'm going to message you I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this.",-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
432,MentalHealthSupport,I’m done with life. I want it over but i can’t find the easiest way.,speaker,1,"I’m so broken. My whole life i’m suffered with trauma of seeing my brother and sister die. From sexual abuse as a child, and being introduced to horrible things is what created me today. I have borderline personality disorder. And my life is so broken i’m trapped in my own head and i can’t get out. I don’t have any friends anymore because al they did was lie to me i only have my girlfriend and if i lose her i won’t be able to live. I’ve been admitted to the hospital 2 times in 2 weeks for attempted suicide and Cutting. I don’t know how to end it. I’ve accepted my fate. This is what i was born for, just to die. I’m trapped in my own roller coaster thoughts of self image, and happiness. I don’t believe i have anything to live for. i’ve accepted it. i’m the un lucky one, i was born to die. but that’s okay. i just wish my mom and dad accepted it as well.",-0.8681,negative,lonely
432,MentalHealthSupport,I’m done with life. I want it over but i can’t find the easiest way.,listener_1,2,"I know you are hurting really really bad and I know it seems like there is no way out. Those thoughts won't leave you alone will they? I used to be BPD and I remember those time no matter what I did all I could think of was  ""I want to kill myself"" ""I want to hurt myself""  over, over,over, ""  SHUT UP ‼ ‼❕❕until I thought obviously the answer is to just go along  I guess I do need to hurt myself just to shut it all down? Right? Am I getting close ?  but you know where help is it's been all around for several weeks. You know that you can say you need help and get listened to without trying to kill yourself don't you ? You have a lot of good reasons for feeling the way you do. Most people have no idea what it's like to deal with what your going through.But we still need you around! Your precious to the rest of us .who know what amazing potential your life may have!!",0.9755,positive,sad
432,MentalHealthSupport,I’m done with life. I want it over but i can’t find the easiest way.,speaker,3,"god bless you man, i really appreciate it. I’m in the process of getting a specialist to speak to. Thank you, world really needs more people like you.",0.9036,positive,sympathizing
433,MentalHealthSupport,I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with my girlfriend. I need advice on how to stop it,speaker,1,"We’ve been dating for about 3 months. We recently became long distance, and I visited her for a little over a week, and we stayed together. It was fun but I started getting jealous of every guy she interacted with. Now the visit is over, and we skype every night, and text each other all day long.   But every time she goes more than 5 minutes without texting me, I start to get incredibly anxious, and I get this intense emotional pain, which is so bad I start feeling physical pain in my chest. I’ve tried distracting myself, but I literally can’t. Nothing makes that pain go away except for when she texts me back.    In all of my past relationships, my girlfriend started drifting away before eventually breaking up with me. My current girlfriend hasn’t shown any real signs of that yet, but I keep overthinking everything and get this horrible feeling in my gut that I’m slowly losing her, or that she’s gonna cheat on me or leave me for another guy.    I’m so obsessed with her (not in a healthy, loving way. Like an unhealthy, crazy way) that it literally makes me nauseous.    Because of this, I’m getting more stress from this relationship than good. But I can’t lose her. It would kill me. And it would also hurt her, because she has repeatedly told me that she loves me very much and that she doesn’t want to lose me, and that she hopes to marry me someday.     I’m in counseling for anxiety, depression, and ocd, but I’ve only had one session so far.   I need advice here. How do I turn this horrible, disgusting obsession into a healthy love?",-0.9956,negative,jealous
433,MentalHealthSupport,I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with my girlfriend. I need advice on how to stop it,listener_1,2,I’m in the same boat too...,0.0,neutral,agreeing
433,MentalHealthSupport,I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with my girlfriend. I need advice on how to stop it,listener_2,3,Check my answer it might help or so I hope ♡,0.7076,positive,encouraging
434,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on preventing overthinking,speaker,1,What do you do to stop a crazy train of thoughts from spiraling out of control?,-0.5574,negative,questioning
434,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on preventing overthinking,listener_1,2,"This might be completely useless to you, but when i spiral out of control with my overthinking and get paranoid i tell myself that I am overthinking and being paranoid. I find it difficult but when ever i overthink i just tell myself im being ridiculous, because I know I am and i tryst myself to tell myself the truth",-0.8624,negative,confident
434,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on preventing overthinking,speaker,3,I’m trying to do this too and I often reassure myself that I’m being completely ridiculous!,-0.1742,negative,confident
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,1,"Hello. I will get straight to the point without any introductions. I suffer from social anxiety and depression. I don't get so well with people around me. I have no friends to talk to or share any personal and deep stuff with. I need someone whom I can talk with without judging me, someone who is willing to listen. But it has to be from my same gender (females) because it will be easier (for me) to talk with and to get closer to. That someone needs to respond to my texts and my calls too (we will use any social app that allows us to make calls without fees) that someone have to truly care about me and what I say. Without any faking. That person also needs to have interests like mine (so it is easier for us to talk) Arts, Literature, Books, psychology, anime, manga, bl, films and tv shows, Writing, or anything close.    ■ In exchange: I will do the exact same thing. I will respond to calls and messages. I will help you and listen to you.   In a nutshell, I am lonely and I need a friend :(",0.9727,positive,trusting
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_1,2,"With the exception of the calls and texts, I'd be up for it. I love books, art, psychology, and writing.  Unfortunately I can't do the talk and text. It would be email or private messaging.",0.4215,positive,devastated
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,3,"U dont have to give me your number or Whatsapp to call and text. Will Telegram or kakao be alright? Both of these apps dont need us to exchange numbers to get in touch, we just have to exchange usernames.",0.3182,positive,questioning
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_2,4,"From my personal experience, talking with the opposite gender can lead one developing feelings. It's important to speak with a fellow female because she probably feels more comfortable talking about stuff.",0.659,positive,apprehensive
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,5,"I will say it right now. For all the gentlemen out there ♡ I apologize. As I said in the post, it will be more comfortable (( for me )) to be friends with someone from my same gender. This is just me. please don't feel offended ♡♡♡",0.8788,positive,sympathizing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_1,6,"No, I mean I can't do talk and text. It's nothing to do with exchange of personal information, it's complicated.",0.0,neutral,angry
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,7,Let's taalk ♡. That is alright. It is also out of my comfort zone to do calls so we can chat until we know each other better ♡ I would love to get to know you.,0.8909999999999999,positive,trusting
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,8,Heyyyy ♡♡♡♡♡,0.0,neutral,wishing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,9,"If it's alright. can u tell me more about in private. I just downloaded Reddit and I don't know if there is a dm options. For me, It would be so much better if we can talk through texts. Im just not used to contacting someone through email.",0.6344,positive,apprehensive
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_3,10,Hm okey..,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,11,Exactly ♡,0.0,neutral,agreeing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,12,Sorry don't be sad ♡♡♡♡♡,0.308,positive,sympathizing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_3,13,It’s okey hahaha,0.5574,positive,acknowledging
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_4,14,Hey! ❤️ how would you like to communicate?:),0.4199,positive,questioning
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,15,"Hello ♡ oh I am sorry to hear so, finding real friends nowadays can be difficult. Im 19 and I will be 20 next month. Yes you can PM on Reddit. I also downloaded it newly and Yeah I didnt know that there is a PM option but there is.  I would totally love a new friend ♡♡♡♡",0.9342,positive,sympathizing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,16,Thx ♡,0.3612,positive,wishing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],speaker,17,Thx ♡♡♡,0.3612,positive,wishing
435,MentalHealthSupport,I am searching for someone to talk with [please read down below],listener_5,18,💗,0.7096,positive,impressed
436,MentalHealthSupport,I couldn’t use a friend :),speaker,1,"Well, let me tell you a bit about myself. I was diagnosed as OCD in my teens and diagnosed bipolar after graduating from college. It was difficult for me to accept the diagnosis because of the stigma. I figured I was crazy but not bipolar crazy. I still went through therapy treatments (my therapist sucked) and tried multiple mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. My psychiatrist stated that he couldn’t find a med combo that worked for me and suggested I go back on Prozac + Wellbutrin since it worked for me in the past. I should mention that the psychiatrist was garbage juice and just threw scripts at all his patients. So, I did. I went back on the meds that just treated my ocd and sadness. I ended up quitting them cold turkey and made my way through life. Work, bills, relationships, etc. To those around me, I was a functioning adult.   Now, let’s talk about the present. I work a job that allows me to take the summers off if I want to. I’m back in therapy and a jittery mess that can’t stay still. Between the shopping hauls, fast driving, disorganized thoughts, hyper sexuality, restlessness, quick irritability, and inflated self esteem...I’m a hot mess. I just ordered more things off of amazon again last night. Oof! After my first therapy appointment, I was told that I need medication. I’m just waiting to get a psych. appointment.  The truth is, I don’t know why I’m posting this. I’ve come to accept my diagnosis and I know I need normalcy/stability. I need support and I’d love to talk to people like myself without the fear of judgement. 🤨 I don’t know, I just needed to get this off of my chest....",0.6796,positive,apprehensive
436,MentalHealthSupport,I couldn’t use a friend :),listener_1,2,Proud of you for sharing and for embracing your diagnosis!! Always around if ya need some solidarity!,0.8392,positive,grateful
436,MentalHealthSupport,I couldn’t use a friend :),speaker,3,"True! I mean, at least we know we need the assistance of a professional. That’s always the first step. 🤗",0.7088,positive,agreeing
436,MentalHealthSupport,I couldn’t use a friend :),speaker,4,I’ll message you. :),0.4588,positive,acknowledging
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",speaker,1,"I honestly don't see the point of living anymore, despite being 19. I don't feel like my life is gonna change, at least not anytime in the foreseeable future.   I'm constantly bored, a bit of a coward, have some form of anxiety, and I have these dumb-ass fears. I'm afraid of being hated/disliked, fear of being punished and a fear of being attacked.  I really can't take this shit anymore, using videogames as an escape. I play games where I can live out as the real me, without the mental issues. I don't even like games that much, but it's the only thing keeping me going.  Do you guys have any kind of advice or help?",-0.7984,negative,afraid
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",listener_1,2,Are you seeing a therapist? That have helped me some as I have similar symptoms.,0.0,neutral,questioning
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",speaker,3,"I thought about it. Don't want to rely on meds though. I'm afraid of my ma's disapproval (she's very much against it and says everything is your head blablabla), and yes, I am really ashamed of that. I hate being weak..  I don't have a clue on how to find out about a therapist though.",-0.8184,negative,apprehensive
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",listener_1,4,"I just started going to therapy and it's helping. She is helping me find coping mechanisms instead of taking medications. You may need to look around for a good therapist. Regarding the ashamed part, don't be. Your mom should not view therapy that way. It does not make you weak.",0.6814,positive,trusting
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",speaker,5,"What kind of coping mechanisms?   There isn't a whole lot in my area. There's a few alright, they have the 1 guy giving 5 star ratings. And what do they actually do in a session?",0.5803,positive,questioning
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",listener_1,6,"First they just talk with you about the problems you've been having. Second they work on fixing them. For example, if you have anxiety, they try to understand why you anxious and what causes it. They want to understand the root of the issues you have in order to fix them.",-0.6249,negative,caring
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",speaker,7,"Sounds straightforward and simple enough, I suppose. Is it pricey or what? (I have a med card, so..)   Would you give me some examples of the coping mechanisms employed to help?",0.4696,positive,questioning
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",speaker,8,"Yeah, if I do go, I probably won't tell her, unless I'm feeling brave.  It's not that she won't let me (not her choice anyway), but she keeps nagging and tries to persuade you to her view.",-0.128,negative,apprehensive
437,MentalHealthSupport,"Fed up of life, but I don't want to die...",listener_1,9,I pay $26 each time which can add up. I haven't been but a few times so I'm not completely knowledgeable on good coping mechanisms. Because I have anxiety I was encouraged to get out of my comfort zone and go and things I would otherwise be afraid of. I was given a panic attack coping mechanism which was to find my favorite color somewhere and focus on it.,0.5988,positive,apprehensive
438,MentalHealthSupport,Need a few opinions,speaker,1,"Recently, I was with my father in the car, coming back from a medical appointment. I was discussing a diet I wanted to put myself on and my boundaries for using a new skin medication. (I told him I would refuse to use it if it starts to irritate my skin.)  He eventually called me unappreciative and ungrateful for setting that boundary for myself against his will, and told me that I should just do what the doctor said to do—use the medication for two months. I have bad experiences with that shit, so I said I’d have preferred if he simply canceled the appointment, like I said to do, and let me figure it out on my own.   He said I’m not as smart as I think I am, etc., and instead of trying to figure shit out by myself, I should listen to people know more. I told him I want to just figure it out, alone, and he agreed. I pushed further and told him I’ve done it by myself my entire life—my way, figured out what I like and don’t like, how to do stuff, etc., and I’ve never had a problem. In fact, I said, the only one who ever has had a problem with it is you.   He nodded his head a bit, with his lips tucked in—I thought he agreed and was fine with what I’d just said. A few seconds later, though, he exploded:  He slammed the steering wheel. “You fucking rat.” His face went red. “I can’t believe you’re my fucking son. I can’t believe how fucking ungrateful you are.” He was screaming, the highest he’s ever raised his voice. “I can’t believe you’re my son. You’re the most unappreciative [person] I’ve ever fucking met.” I don’t remember much of that part, but every single goddamn sentence had “fucking” in it. He just blew up. “I can’t remember the last time you said ‘thank you’ to me.” This is despite the fact that I thank him for pretty much everything, which he shrugs off each time.  He kept slamming the wheel with every statement. “I think you’re insecure. I think you’re afraid of what people think of you. I think you’re a little afraid of failure, and that’s why you don’t do anything.”  “Stay out of my fucking way. I don’t want to be a part of your fucking life.”  I kept a straight face, but I was afraid for my life. An enraged man, at the wheel of a car you’re in, bashing you’re humanity with every word out of his fucking mouth. He’s always been this way. I say my opinion, I disagree with something he does and I express it, I don’t want to do things the way he wants me to—in any case, he scares me to the point of tears. He breaks me down and ruins whatever progress I’d gained from trying to build confidence. I’m extremely anxious and people-pleasing, so I watch his reactions to what I say. I’m walking on eggshells around him, and he’s the one I’m always silent around.   He yelled on and on about how much stress he’s under, how I don’t get it, how I “don’t understand how the world works.” How I’ve “had it all handed to me.” He’s right about that, but how is that my fault?  Fortunately, the furthest he’ll come to physical abuse is grabbing my wrists and physically detaining me so he can yell in my face. He usually blocks and coerces me into submission with empty threats. I’m extremely grateful that I’ve grown up in a nice part of the world with nice things, and that I’ve been spoiled from a young age. But I’m tired of this shit. It’s ridiculous. “You’re so ungrateful, and that tells me how immature you really are.”  “Fine, what do you want me to do? Whatever it is, I’ll—“  “Act like a fucking adult! Mature a little!”  “I’m trying, I’m trying.”  “Bullshit, that’s bullshit!”  I’ve tried everything I know how to do:  If I stay silent and let him vent, he demands I say something—“Well? Do you have *anything* to say? After all that, you have nothing to say?”  If I calmly explain what I’m thinking, he gets pissed and yells “bullshit”, or whatever.   If I shout back, he starts to get physical and attempts to trap me or “get my attention.”  If I try to remove myself from the situation, he says, “Get back here. I’m not done talking to you... Who do you think you are?”  It’s a lose-lose situation he’s set me up for. Thankfully, he hasn’t assaulted me yet—but I can feel it coming sometimes. It’s like I have to keep waking on eggshells even after we’ve gotten into a fight, just to keep him from doing me physical harm. I’ve been scared for my life before. He’s always been like this—I have a memory I can’t quite place. I was little, and confused about some situation. He assumed I was trying to pull something, so he said, right in front of the whole family, “Do you think I’m retarded?” I didn’t know what “retarded” was, but I knew it was bad based on how he said it. So I said no.   So, after that, I want to know: Am I overreacting? Is it verbal abuse? I don’t have any idea—I legitimately need an outsider’s opinion. The way he treats me is horrible in my opinion and it feels awful, but I won’t rule out the idea that maybe he’s entirely right and I’m wrong. I’m oftentimes scared to the core by how he just explodes, no warning, like he did today. He just ... seems fine until he blows up. He is under quite a bit of stress, but that doesn’t seem like an excuse to me.",-0.9975,negative,angry
438,MentalHealthSupport,Need a few opinions,listener_1,2,"That is definitely abusive (had to stop reading halfway sorry, it's a little close to home). He's attempting to control you and getting disproportionately angry when you express your own wishes.  It's not just verbally abusive, it's psychological abuse as well.",-0.753,negative,agreeing
438,MentalHealthSupport,Need a few opinions,speaker,3,"Thanks for your opinion. I’ve been trying to be my own person lately, and he keeps setting me back. What did you do to alleviate the struggle?",0.1531,positive,questioning
438,MentalHealthSupport,Need a few opinions,listener_1,4,"I started going cold-shoulder when my mother overstepped. I would tell her what she'd done wrong and what I expected of her (setting boundaries), and step away from her if she crossed those boundaries.  She still does it (Tuesday was the latest one, she went behind my back to find out the gender of my baby and then tried to justify it by saying she didn't ask me because she knew I wouldn't tell her... She then went into a tirade about how I was in the wrong because I'd called her out on it and she was depressed and didn't need my negativity blah blah blah).  She still does it, but she's lost power over me so she's using different strategies now. She used to tell me what a piece of shit I was and how I should be grateful she's so patient and doesn't give up on me. Now she plays the victim because I stand up to her.  But I walk away so it doesn't hurt me.",-0.6046,negative,furious
439,MentalHealthSupport,How do you get a handle on your brokenness?,speaker,1,I can't seem to get out of my head on all my problems. I don't feel ok. Am imploding.,-0.4019,negative,ashamed
439,MentalHealthSupport,How do you get a handle on your brokenness?,listener_1,2,"I spent a good portion of my life getting abused and for a while it really broke me. I'm just going to try and summarize the most helpful realizations that I've had in my 8 years of recovery.   I deserve everything I provide emotionally to others and should not settle for less.  I can only take it a day at a time and one thing at a time.  I am allowed to be angry. Anger does not equal abuse.  I'm allowed to cut ties with anyone for any reason at all.  I place limits and boundaries that prioritize my safety and health.  Listen to your body, take care of it.   If there's a really bad depressive episode, pace it out maybe you can't shower, get dressed, brush your hair and teeth, and cook. Choose two and rotate every other day. Anything is better than nothing and promotes growth.   When you center your life around bettering yourself it becomes much healthier for everyone involved in it.  Don't be afraid to get professional help/ medication.  People are like cogs in a machine, just because they don't fit with you doesn't mean they're bad it just means it will be better if you two go separate ways.  No matter how good a person is they will hurt you, it's okay. It's all about how they handle it that should tell you whether they're worth forgiving.   Set high standards for everyone you spend your time on. Realize everyone has their own quirks and problems and use your best judgement on whether they will promote you in your life or hold you back.  Sometimes kindness is the key to a volatile situation. Sometimes you need to be firm or you need to walk away.  Your body truly needs nutrients. A healthy diet (or making improvements where you can) will give your mind a fighting chance against depression and illness.  Walks help clear the mind.  Music helps process emotion.  Your emotional reactions can be tricky. I try to always give a knee jerk reaction a good reevaluation.  You don't have to do everything people want you to do. Your autonomy is key. Even if almost everyone disagrees.  You aren't a burden your friends are there for a reason. Also be aware that sometimes they're busy and may take a while to get back to you and that they don't hate you.  Illnesses like ADHD have a lot more impact on people's lives than previously researched. Also autism is a common diagnosis that can be paired with or misconstrued as ADHD. If applicable, learn about the new information coming out. A lot of online support communities have tips and tricks for sensory issues and others things associated with that disorder.  Try to set small achievable goals for yourself every day. If you miss it one day that's okay let yourself rest and go at it the next day.  Those are just the ones off the top of my head. I hope some of it can help you out a bit and if you need anyone to talk to feel free to message me!",0.992,positive,angry
439,MentalHealthSupport,How do you get a handle on your brokenness?,speaker,3,That's very helpful. Thank you,0.7070000000000001,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,1,"Hey, I don't know what your going through but I just want you to know that it's gonna be ok and one day you won't have to worry about all the bad things going on right now and you'll be better than ever! I know it's tough but I know that it'll get better! Your so loved and cared for! Have a wonderful day/night!",0.9791,positive,caring
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,listener_1,2,"You're going to (hopfully) see a lot of people writing ""I needed this. Thank you"" and it'll look like a load of boring comments eventually, so I just wanted to remind everyone that reads this that... I *needed* this post. It was a surprising little reminder that my MHI won't rule my life forever. You, Curious Lettuce, have made a difference in at least 1 strangers life today. Thank you.     (Also love the username🥬)",0.9213,positive,grateful
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,3,"Your so welcome I was feeling bad so I was like ""man I'm real mad, let's go male someone hella happy.""",0.5926,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,4,"Your so welcome I was feeling bad so I was like ""man I'm real mad, let's go male someone hella happy.""",0.5926,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,5,"Your so welcome I was feeling bad so I was like ""man I'm real mad, let's go male someone hella happy.""",0.5926,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,6,"Your so welcome I was feeling bad so I was like ""man I'm real mad, let's go male someone hella happy.""",0.5926,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,7,"Your so welcome I was feeling bad so I was like ""man I'm real mad, let's go male someone hella happy.""",0.5926,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,8,No problem my dude!,0.3716,positive,acknowledging
440,MentalHealthSupport,It's gonna be alright.,speaker,9,Your welcome!,0.5093,positive,wishing
441,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone feel super trapped in their body and just want to detach?,speaker,1,"I'm feeling it as I type. I've a sore throat. I feel kind of feverish but jittery and have shivers running down my spine and there's a tightness in my chest. Ears ringing. It's hard to even cry. I want to cry. I feel overwhelmed. I feel alone. A lot around me has been changing. A couple of my friends have moved away for work/relationship commitment. I'm tied down to a place because of university, which feels like I'll never be done with or finish. I've dragged it for seven years already. Dating has been tiresome and I don't know what I do wrong? It always dies after the first couple dates or them ghosting. I hate the physical shape I'm in. And I hate exercising. It's literally so hard to get started on that. I try, stick to it for a week or two and give up. I hate working out. But I can feel my body falling apart. I'm turning 25 in two weeks and I've nothing to show for. In a way it's liberating and I want to fucking up and leave and start fresh but I've already don't it. Twice. It doesn't help to up and leave. And I like the city I'm in. I just don't like my life. And it seems too hard to change. And now, coming back, I just feel trapped in my body. Barely existing.",-0.9852,negative,lonely
441,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone feel super trapped in their body and just want to detach?,listener_1,2,Have you done to the doctor or are you experiencing more anxiety? And it's easy to give up but you're doing the right things to better your future and yourself. Have you tried counseling or medication ? Detatching and dissociating is what the brain does to cope with whatever stress or trauma you have experienced. And it's not as good as a feeling as you think. I'm not a therapist or anything but I think just talking to someone would help.,-0.3106,negative,questioning
441,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone feel super trapped in their body and just want to detach?,speaker,3,I'm already in therapy and meds haven't been helpful so I got off of them. I'm still just feeling elevated levels of anxiety especially the last couple of weeks and I can't just wreck havoc at my therapist's clinic right? It's just whatever we are working on and planning to do just isn't cutting it.,0.5252,positive,anxious
442,MentalHealthSupport,Homcidal thoughts,speaker,1,"I've been having these for months now. But I think it's getting to its beak.  My life has always been a mess and I can barely remember anything from my childhood.  So I've always had to excuse myself to my room after and hour or two of spending time with my family. I'm really tired of them, and living with them.  But now I can't be around them for even an hour before getting urges to do horrible things to them.  I've never actually done anything, and that's why I'm so scared to slip.  I get these weird panic attacks, and run to my room to tear a pillow apart or something. I just feel like I need to hurt them or I'll lose my mind.  They don't understand mental health problems at all, and don't believe in mental illnesses. It just makes it so hard to talk to them.  Is there any way I can get help without them (even though they're my guardians)? I fear that one day I'll just explode.  I just don't want to hurt anyone or myself.",-0.9916,negative,ashamed
442,MentalHealthSupport,Homcidal thoughts,listener_1,2,"Good news! Having urges and acting on them are two different things, and your tendency to vent your frustration in healthy ways is a good sign that you won't be on any wanted posters any time soon.  It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to be resentful that they do this to you. There is nothing wrong with any of that, not even wishing them dead.  It's what you do with it that matters, and you're making the right choices.  As far as seeking help I can't advise since laws are different there, but speaking to a student counsellor might be a really good starting point.",0.6027,positive,proud
442,MentalHealthSupport,Homcidal thoughts,speaker,3,I guess I should try. Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",speaker,1,"Hi, I'm new here but I was just wondering if I could get some advice on how to cope with things.  I've always had a issues with depression and anxiety but I thought I was getting past it until recently.  I do marketing for a restaurant that my girlfriend manages. We see each other a lot but it's become more formal in working hours now that the place has opened.  On the run up to opening I put a LOT of my energy into making the place look amazing and that it was promoted properly and now, I must admit I feel super burned out, work wise.  A few days after we opened I started getting very dark thoughts about my girlfriend and I. I was worried she's losing interest, that she's persuing or being persued by a staff member there, worrying that we were going to fall apart or that she'd cheat.  For the past week, every night when she gets home we've argued because I'm acting like a paranoid idiot.  I've outright asked her if she was cheating when, tbh, there's no reason I should ask that.  I'm not that kind of person, we've always been awesome together, she's trustworthy and we love and support each other a lot.  She's honestly great and I feel like now, if this relationship is going to end, it's not going to be from anything I'm paranoid about but rather, me pushing her away.  I know this stuff seems irrational, like, I don't know why I'm thinking or acting like this.  I know we get less quality time together and the workplaces situation has changed but still, I'm a supportive person and she doesn't deserve this, especially given it's so out of character from me.  I just find these dark thoughts creeping in, then my anxiety kind of runs it through my head over and over until I end up ruining the time we have left of the evening by saying something.  I'd just like some advice from anyone on how to cope and avoid the spiralling so i can get back to being supportive and loving and not this horrible, worried version of me.  Thanks in advance reddit.",0.9941,positive,hopeful
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",listener_1,2,"I know this is super hard, but you need to replace those irrational thoughts with rational thoughts. Explain to yourself, logically, why these scenarios are not realistic. I can see why you would feel this way. Restaurants tend to be an industry where there’s a lot of flirting and stuff. But if you trust your girlfriend, you have to check these thoughts. Also, articulate your fears to your partner. She may be able to ease your fear and help add some logic to the situation. This needs to be done when you’re not angry/ fighting so she can understand where you’re coming from. If you share these things coming from a place of anger, it will come out all wrong. Good luck!",0.89,positive,trusting
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",speaker,3,"Thanks for the warm wishes and advice, honestly appreciate it.  I've had a better day today and I'm serious about getting through this, hence the reaching out to reddit for help.  I've been around the industry for a while and to be honest, our place isn't that flirty, there's just new staff that made me a bit on edge given he's new and seems to be the focus of things now we've opened.  It's real childish shit from me to care this much.  On a better note...  We spent half a day together yesterday and I discussed my mind set without being a dick about it so I've definitely made a start on things.  We actually had a really fun day and it felt awesome to have fun together again.  I feel much better for just getting some time with her again if I'm honest.  I get I'm being self absorbed and reading too much into things, I just need to get through this.  I'll do my best to keep it up.  Thanks again.",0.9937,positive,apprehensive
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",listener_1,4,"I don’t think you’re self absorbed at all. You seem like a man who really cares about keeping his relationship together. I’m glad you had a good day with your girl and you’re straightening out your head. If you need any help or to vent, feel free to reach out :)",0.9628,positive,acknowledging
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",speaker,5,"Thank you so much. I've been using Calm at the moment but I don't feel it's doing much but make me sleepy.  I'll give this a shot, really appreciate the link and I'm really glad it's worked for you.",0.8963,positive,grateful
443,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiralling advice needed, please.",listener_2,6,"I tried Calm. It helps with relaxation, but it doesn't get to the root of the problem. I hope the workshop helps!",0.8244,positive,consoling
444,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feels like this?,speaker,1,"Feeling very emotional and about to cry but suddenly get super numb and just stop caring about everything, in a bad way",-0.0909,negative,sad
444,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feels like this?,listener_1,2,"Yes. But I don't anymore. If you want help on resolving this, just let me know. Be glad to help.",0.9501,positive,neutral
444,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feels like this?,speaker,3,"That'd be very nice of you, can I DM you?",0.4754,positive,questioning
444,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else feels like this?,listener_1,4,Yes. That would be fine. :),0.7579,positive,acknowledging
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,1,"So I have been using benzodiazepines nearly daily for 5 months. I take 70-100mg valium, 10-15mg etizolam, 5mg klonopin or 4-8mg of Xanax a day depending what one is available, though it’s usually etizolam and Valium) i take them along with 40mg of propanalol twice a day to help with my panic disorder and anxiety, agoraphobia and bipolar depression episodes.  I recently was unable to get any benzodiazepines so I had no choice but to go cold turkey. Here’s what i experienced   Day 1-5 : extreme headache, vomit, trembling legs and hands. 3 hours sleep a night Day 6-10: no sleep what so ever, headache is now 8/10, whole body hurts. Panic attacks, sweating, vomit  Day 1-10 were what I expected to happen as I’ve been through opioid withdrawal but what the next 7 days had in store for me we’re something straight out of a datura trip  Day 11-17: 7/10 headache, no more sickness. No sleep at all still.                      Then the hallucinations started. VIVID dreams also kept waking me up the few minuets I did    half sleep                        Hallucination 1 - knock at front door, I go to answer and a young black man asked me “are you       selling pills and powders (cocaine I assume) from this house. If you say yes I have to shoot you”.  So I explained to this man that I had no idea what he was talking about and invited him in to look around the house to prove there are no drugs here, at this point he disappeared into thin air  Hallucination 2- in my dark bedroom I saw my pet mice had escaped so I woke up my girlfriend to help gather them up and when she said she couldn’t see them I picked one up to show her. As I did this the mouse I had in my hand turned into a packet of Doritos. I also saw mice a second time on my chair. As I went to pick them up they dissolved into the chair   Hallucination 3 - hearing voices through walls. And hearing people outside my window talking about coming to kill me because I owe them tax for selling drugs on there territory ( I do not sell drugs )  Hallucination 4 - whenever water travels through pipes when having a shower or using the toilet flusher caused my brain to somehow bear carnival music instead of the water in the pipes  Hallucination 5 - heard voices from the sky and from “the speakers in the ceiling”   Hallucination 6 - laying in bed I saw at the bottom of my bed a child dressed in a my little pony full face onesie just rocking side to side. This wasn’t that scary. Just weird.   There’s so many more hallucinations that happened between day 11-17 of benzo W/D   My girlfriend was so worried about me that if it went on into day 18 she was gonna call the hospital.  I’m ashamed to say I relapsed after the stress of this psychosis. I’m also worried if I kept cold turkeying I’d have a seizure.    Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit. I’m just wanting to find out if anyone else has had this coming off of public this type of medication.",-0.9954,negative,terrified
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,2,"You need to either taper down, or if you cant yourself, then check into a hospital and have them treat you.  AFAIK, they usually make a plan to taper down for you in inpatient.  Benzo WDs are no joke.",0.2052,positive,apprehensive
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,3,I’ll go to the doctors about it when I can afford a bus next week. I promise   I hate being ruled by tiny blue and white pills,-0.34,negative,hopeful
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,4,"Take care of yourself man, dont suffer needlessly over this.  Good luck.",0.9086,positive,wishing
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,5,Would you recommend cbd,0.3612,positive,questioning
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,6,"I know someone who also has Bipolar (type 2) and he treated it with CBD at first.  Worked okay, mostly for sleep and a bit with anxiety, but he switched to THC and it’s been working better for him.  As for the bipolar symptoms, getting rid of his drug addiction and staying on a good medication plan is mostly what keeps him stable.  Like you, he was also addicted to benzos (not as bad, never physically) and they always made him incredibly unstable.  Ceasing detrimental drug use is what transformed him as a person.",0.9317,positive,neutral
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,7,I already use thc but it makes my anxiety and worse without a benzo or a huge cbd dose beforehand.  Thc used to calm me until a bad LSD trip and Heavy smoking in Amsterdam and since then (4 years ago) It switched on me making me a trembling mess if I smoke alone or even with friends. I’d like to find a high cbd low thc strain.  I can get 0.1% thc 18% cbd but i want like 5% thc so I actually know I’ve medicated.   Will deffo get cbd for my next w/d,-0.7096,negative,apprehensive
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,8,"Yeah its def not for everyone, and yeah lol same here, had a horrifying trip and absolutely nothing has been the same afterwards.  When it comes to weed, i can only enjoy it if im smoking everyday already and have a tolerance.  When i get too high i get bad trip vibes all over again.  time and patience your body and brain will figure it out",0.5267,positive,agreeing
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,9,I really am not fussed if I don’t smoke weed. I just wanna know if I’m gonna go psychotic when I quit these benzos again,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,10,"You honestly might, thats why going cold turkey with benzos is generally a bad idea.  Taper down if you have the supplies/self control, or go to detox where medical professionals can taper you down.",-0.128,negative,neutral
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,speaker,11,Deffo gonna go the medical route. I can’t do cold turkey,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
445,MentalHealthSupport,What happened to me.,listener_1,12,"Good luck man they’ll probably take good care of you, benzo WD’s can seriously be deadly, better at a hospital than alone.",0.9042,positive,wishing
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,1,"Forgive this being all over the place, I’m currently sobbing in the bathroom so this is going to be a fucking mess of scrambled thoughts.  Hi. For as long as I could remember, everything was my fault. Because of this, I’ve grown to hate myself. I’ve had depression and anxiety for years. I was never allowed on anti depressants and at the start of 2017, I was banned from going to therapy. I think I have PTSD, I don’t want to self diagnose but I’ve had multiple people try to help me through episodes of breaking down. Triggers that remind me of my mom. It doesn’t help I still live with her and so the abuse continues.  Due to my mental health being so bad, I’ve been struggling to get a job. To the point of where I look up available jobs and get anxious cause... I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to apply to a job. I don’t have a resume. I’m pathetic. No one would hire me. So I close it and say I’ll do it another day. And that’s how it’s been for 2 years. I feel beyond stupid for a 18 year old. I haven’t graduated since I was held back in kindergarten, so I have another year to go. I don’t have a license cause I can’t practice driving with my mom, so I feel trapped. Driving freaks me out already even though I passed drivers ed. My mom always brings up about how I don’t have my license and compares me to others, including herself. And I feel worse. I want to drive, I want to have a job, I’m just... stuck.  I have days where I wake up and don’t want to move. Cause I fear of fucking up. I don’t want to be scared of the world. But I am. At least everyday I ask myself, why haven’t I just killed myself yet? It would save my mom from dealing with all of my problems. My friends will eventually move on. My partner can go find a better girlfriend. But my anxiety reminds me that I’m scared of physical pain and I don’t do it. It’s kinda funny... my depression says “kill yourself” and my anxiety freaks out which stops me from doing it.   I haven’t done permanent self harm like cutting. I’ve tried but I always stop myself. Mainly because I don’t want my friend and partner to see them. The most I do is maybe a rubber band on the arm or not eating. I sometimes unintentionally stop eating when I’m at really low points. Luckily I’ve gotten better out of the habit thanks to my partner making me eat whenever I see them, so I’ve been forcing myself to eat to not worry them about starving myself.   I’m writing this because I just got into a fight with my mom. She asked me why I was stressed out and I said “I don’t know”. To which she freaked out, throwing insults and putting blame on me. And I do blame myself. I’m pathetic. I got home, considered maybe running away. Maybe I should just overdose. But I decided instead, I’m going to try and step up. I hate myself a shit ton, I think I’m worthless and have no future. But I want to reach my goals in life. The first step being getting the courage to get that fucking job and get over my driving anxiety. I know that I’ll forever mentally damaged by the abuse but things will get better once I move out.  Please, if you managed to read this far into this, give any advice of how I can get started with getting a job and how to help with driving anxiety. I really appreciate it. Once I get these things out of the way, I can graduate and move forward move out. Once I’m out of the toxic household I’m in, I can finally get the professional help I need. Thank you.",-0.9981,negative,ashamed
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_1,2,Is there nowhere else you can stay?!,0.0,neutral,questioning
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,3,"I don’t have any family to lives in the state. The only family friends I trusted were recently cut off and live in Canada. I do have my friends and I’ve been offered to stay with them, but I have to figure living arrangements with their parents and I got cats. My biggest worry is if I left, my mom would attack their families or she would attempt suicide. My plan currently is to try and survive this school year than move out normally.",-0.9127,negative,afraid
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_1,4,"You need to leave the house asap.  Then get professional help!  From there, everything will get better...",0.69,positive,afraid
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_2,5,Don't let fear of what your Mum might do hold you back. If she attempts suicide that's not your fault. Does she show concern for how her actions impact you?  You're allowed to be selfish here and put yourself first because you matter and she's not letting you see that.,-0.5594,negative,questioning
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_1,6,"I've been where you are. I did nothing. I kept putting it off, allowing my anxiety to win... it didn't end very well for me and now I'm 25 wishing I'd have just got help sooner!  If you can stay with friends for the next year, do it! Do anything you can to leave your mums house.",0.8463,positive,guilty
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,7,I’ll maybe try. It’ll have to be planned out with friend’s families since it depends if they’ll take me in or not. Thank you for the encouragement,0.1754,positive,suggesting
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,8,"I know I shouldn’t blame myself and not let fear hold me back.. it’s something I’m trying to work on so I can move forward which has been difficult. She doesn’t show concern for how she treats me. Normally after a fight, she acts like nothing happened or she keeps it going for weeks. For small fights she apologized for, she’ll use it as ammo in many more arguments for me being an asshole. I’ve always feared being selfish, especially since I get told by her I’m selfish all the time so I tend to not do a lot things for myself. When I do something for myself, I end up feeling shitty thinking I’m doing something wrong.",-0.9655,negative,guilty
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,9,Thank you! Anything helps,0.6588,positive,sympathizing
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_3,10,You’re welcome! I hope it helps. 💗,0.9286,positive,consoling
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",listener_2,11,"Let me tell you something: selfish does not necessarily mean ""self first with disregard to others"". It just means putting yourself first, and you are allowed to do that when you need to 🤗  People like her call others selfish any time they don't put her first. People like her demand that they are at the centre, to the detriment of those around her. That's selfish in the context we're used to hearing.  But it is NOT wrong to be selfish when you need to protect yourself from harm.  You are allowed to do things for yourself. She's just managed to make you feel guilty for it because it doesn't serve her when you put yourself first.  I've been through this myself with my own mother, and I know how hard it is to ditch the guilt when you look after yourself instead of her for a change, but it does get easier the more you do it. You'll get stronger, and she'll realise she doesn't have power over you any more.  And the beauty is it won't turn you into a self-serving person. I still happily put others first more often than not. Just not her.",0.7862,positive,angry
446,MentalHealthSupport,"I hate myself and I need advice [TW: Mention of suicidal/self harm thoughts, kinda eating disorder(?) and emotional abuse]",speaker,12,I never thought of it like that. Thank you,0.6124,positive,sympathizing
447,MentalHealthSupport,I just can’t be happy. Can anyone help?,speaker,1,"I am at one of the happiest points in my life ironically. I am doing a short job that only will last 2 months. I am making great friends and enjoy every minute of it.  When I get home I get sad. I miss being there and think about it ended and probably losing all of these people. I also feel bad about my normal school life which doesn’t make me as happy. I used to use this as  motivation to get me into a place where I’d be happy, but now I don’t think it has to do with that and I’ll always feel like this.   I think it might have to do with comparing myself to my new friends’ lives which seem much better than mine. Or it might also be because I’m kinda desperate with girls and want to be with them more.  Can anyone give me advice or help analyze what I’m feeling?  Thanks!",0.9712,positive,sad
447,MentalHealthSupport,I just can’t be happy. Can anyone help?,listener_1,2,I can help. DM me if you'd like.,0.6369,positive,suggesting
447,MentalHealthSupport,I just can’t be happy. Can anyone help?,speaker,3,Thanks so much but I found support on another sub! God bless you <3,0.903,positive,sympathizing
447,MentalHealthSupport,I just can’t be happy. Can anyone help?,listener_1,4,"Oh good! You’re so welcome! If you ever need help, just PM me. I’ll be here. :)",0.9096,positive,acknowledging
448,MentalHealthSupport,I just spent 72 hours in a Mental Hospital... AMA,speaker,1,You read it right,0.0,neutral,agreeing
448,MentalHealthSupport,I just spent 72 hours in a Mental Hospital... AMA,listener_1,2,Are you in the UK or somewhere else?,0.0,neutral,questioning
448,MentalHealthSupport,I just spent 72 hours in a Mental Hospital... AMA,speaker,3,USA!,0.0,neutral,surprised
448,MentalHealthSupport,I just spent 72 hours in a Mental Hospital... AMA,listener_1,4,"Anytime spent on a ward usually isn't a pleasant experience, but they've released you so they obviously believe you to have potential to heal yourself. That in itself is positive. I'm in the UK btw.",0.6186,positive,trusting
449,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure what to do anymore,speaker,1,"This, I'm sure, will come across as incredibly dramatic and stupid, but I don't care anymore.  I'm a 20M, going on 21, and I feel as though I'm not really a person anymore, if I ever was one. My parents got divorced when I was 10, and it felt like I lost my mom entirely. She didn't act motherly anymore; she just wanted to fuck her new boyfriend and not care for her four kids. I was youngest, and took it upon myself to be her emotional crutch, always letting her vent to me about her childhood traumas and current adult issues. I also became the child she wanted me to be, parroting back her world views and opinions.  My dad, older brother, older sister, and me all moved away from where my mom lives half a year ago, and slowly but surely I've been falling apart. I don't feel like I've ever been my own person; I'm just a catalyst of my mother's problems, and the problems of everyone who's ever been too nice to me. I feel almost numb, but obviously I'm not, since it feels like every inconvenience makes me cry like a fucking pussy... I feel suicidal and useless, but I can't self harm because I'm scared of pain and I can't kill myself due to guilt.  So now I just feel stuck, and it feels like no one cares if I burn out and die. I'm sorry for posting this, I just feel so alone right now.",-0.9941,negative,sad
449,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure what to do anymore,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. You are not alone in having feelings like this and trust me, people care. Even people you don't know. You're still young, and the 20s are a wonderful time to figure out who you are and what you truly want in your own life. It's not too late to make minor changes to your actions and even some thoughts that pop into your head to change your lifestyle and to help you to realize you are not your mother and you are not a parrot of her. You may have some similarities, sure, but you aren't exactly like her.  ​  As children, we absorb a lot of habits, thoughts, problems, behaviors, etc. from our parents, sometimes because we are conditioned to and other times because we are just born with it. As we grow into our own selves, we start to pick and choose what things we want to carry on from our parents and what we want to leave in the past, but it requires you to be attentive and conscientious as to what you're thinking and doing and questioning ""why"". It gets easier to do with time and can be made even easier with therapy in my experience. If you haven't seen a counselor, you should consider it. It can be very soothing and beneficial. It's never too late to make changes to your self and way of living. Your life is your own and it is definitely worth living.  ​  Always available to talk if you need someone to vent to. Good luck OP.",0.9872,positive,sympathizing
449,MentalHealthSupport,Not sure what to do anymore,speaker,3,"Thank you very much, I really appreciate this. I'm currently seeing a therapist, but I think something that came up in our last session is why I feel so rough right now. I'm hoping I'll feel better after some sleep, but either way, thank you again for your advice and kind words. It really does help a lot.",0.9723,positive,grateful
450,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get help?,speaker,1,I've(19m) been going through a rough time for the past 3 years. I had to drop out of high schools due to suicide attempts and haven't gotten any better. I have a very supportive family and a good paying job but I just dont feel like shit. Somedays I'll be okay but the next I feel like absolute garbage. I've honestly been looking at suicide as a way out of all this. End it all in a second and get rid of all this stress and anxiety?? Sounds like heaven!  I've tried seeking professional help but being an adult out of high school now I dont have the same support I had in high school. Is there anyway I could fix this or atleast bring myself to talking to a therapist?  I would talk about this to friends or family but I feel like they all think I'm seeking attention. Any help would be appreciated 🙃 have a great day,0.9878,positive,devastated
450,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get help?,listener_1,2,"Start by talking to your (a) doctor. Serious depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and can be helped/treated with medication. It is super important to talk to someone as well and I am a huge advocate for therapy. Your doctor can likely help direct you to somewhere you can fill out an ""intake"" and from there they can better asses what sort of support you need as far as therapy goes. I'm no expert but from the sounds of it an anti depressant might really help.  If you've already tried and they haven't worked for you, don't loose hope. I might not have all the best answers but I can tell you that continuing to ASK FOR HELP is one of the best things you can do. It is out there and I'm sorry it can be so hard to find sometimes.",0.9579,positive,trusting
450,MentalHealthSupport,How do I get help?,listener_2,3,"That’s good advice I had to reach out myself , I had a nervous breakdown and went to the hospital, then I was going through a dark time with suicidal thoughts then I called the crisis hotline and they put me in the behavioral health ward at the hospital for five days and put me on antidepressants and anxiety meds and now I go to therapy and I’m attending support groups.",-0.7717,negative,trusting
451,MentalHealthSupport,Being Bipolar ruins most aspects of my life,speaker,1,"After the onset of my illness in the beginning of last year and subsequent diagnosis, I've noticed a steady decline in how good my quality of life is. I don't want to come across all 'woe is me' but it's been a pretty rough year.   My GP is a moron, quite frankly. I moved to London for uni in September and my mental health has been on a steady decline since. It feels like i have to actively fight them every time I need more of my meds, which often results in weeks where I'll be unmedicated. This is basically the point of the post tbh.   I despise the way that I am, because I know I wouldn't want to hang around someone like me. When I have hypomanic episodes, I'm well aware of how much of a hassle I am. During my most recent outburst, I grabbed the arm of a girl (who i very much liked, and was dating) in such a way that I left a mark. When I got more lucid she broke things off with me and even though it sucks, I completely get it. Who wants to date someone that unstable, right? I've genuinely never felt more ashamed of anything in my entire life.   When I have my depressive episodes, I find it difficult to even move sometimes. Which again, runs my social life into the floor.   I don't know why I've made this post, truth be told. I'd just like someone who knows what they're talking about to tell me what to do, no one's given me any advice for anything except to keep taking my meds.   Does anyone have any experience with this kind of stuff?  And if so, could you please lend some advice, or anything really?",0.196,positive,sad
451,MentalHealthSupport,Being Bipolar ruins most aspects of my life,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry, I don't have any really good advice. But I understand this is really difficult. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here",-0.4104,negative,sympathizing
451,MentalHealthSupport,Being Bipolar ruins most aspects of my life,speaker,3,"I've been trying to get in touch with one, but the only avenues that won't cost me a lot of money are through the NHS, and even then the waiting lists are upwards of 4 months.  The joys of living in London my dude",0.6486,positive,joyful
451,MentalHealthSupport,Being Bipolar ruins most aspects of my life,listener_2,4,"Damn, that's tough.",-0.4939,negative,acknowledging
452,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental health illnesses are a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in you",speaker,1,..,0.0,neutral,disgusted
452,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental health illnesses are a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in you",listener_1,2,"This is far from being proven. Also I think it helps not to see it as a flaw, but as an illness. Which is curable or at least treatable.",-0.4118,negative,agreeing
452,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental health illnesses are a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in you",speaker,3,I was referring to the chemical imbalance that can be the cause of a mental health illness,-0.4019,negative,afraid
452,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental health illnesses are a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in you",listener_1,4,I'm talking about the same thing. But it's still not proven if the imbalance is the cause for mental illness or vice versa.,-0.5499,negative,neutral
452,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental health illnesses are a flaw in chemistry, not a flaw in you",speaker,5,Ok 🙂,0.6003,positive,acknowledging
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,speaker,1,"Um the title says it all but for more context i started really noticing this a week ago  I'm 17 btw  My whole life i've felt some weird compel to slit my parents or even sisters throat when i have a knife in my hand, its like the devil is calling to me and telling me to do it, i don't hear any voices but i feel something that doesn't sound like my inner voice in my head telling me to do it. I also see visions of my self doing it, most notable one is when last week my girlfriend visited my house bc my parents left and we hear footsteps outside so i got a meat cleaver from the kitchen bc i thought someone was breaking in. it turns out it was the bush out front hitting the window bc of the wind. but as i turned around and saw my girlfriend standing behind me i visioned myself driving the meat cleaver into her skull. i didn't even feel bad, i don't feel bad when these visions occur they don't phase me. of course i have never been violet and everytime i feel like this i make sure to distance myself with the weapon.   is there somthing wrong with me? idk what to do and is this normal?",0.7903,positive,terrified
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,listener_1,2,"I think you need to get help as soon as possible, speak to your doctor or ask to be admitted to a hospital",0.4767,positive,apprehensive
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,speaker,3,okay ill try and go as soon as possible and ill update,-0.5719,negative,consoling
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,listener_2,4,"Yes please, be safe!",0.8016,positive,consoling
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,speaker,5,got diagnosed with Pure O and psychopathy. big oof.,0.0,neutral,sad
453,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like Killings Someone Everytime I Have A Knife In My Hand. Do you think i need help and is this normal.,listener_2,6,Seeking help is the first step to getting better and learning to cope with mental health issues. Wish you the best of luck!,0.9412,positive,wishing
454,MentalHealthSupport,"1 year ago, i had this strange addiction, i would just pick up a blade and cut my arms,",speaker,1,I intentionally miss the veins because i wasnt attempting suicide. I just wanted to see blood flow. Even though i know am not a psychopath i would really appreciate some professional commentary on this.,0.7169,positive,suggesting
454,MentalHealthSupport,"1 year ago, i had this strange addiction, i would just pick up a blade and cut my arms,",listener_1,2,"Disclaimer: not a professional, just experience with selfharm. What you are describing is self-harm, the question is why you were doing it. You say it was to see the blood flow, which sounds like curiosity. However, you yourself used ""addiction"" in the title... When we are harmed, our bodies react by releasing ""happy"" chemicals to make us feel better in order to compensate for the pain (seritonin or dopamine - i might be mixing them up) and adrenalin. This is why many self-harm victims mention feeling a ""release"" while doing it. After a while, your brain starts to need that chemical release you receive from cutting (similarly to how drug addiction works). So even if you didn't consciously do it for that reason, it may play a part.  If there are professionals (or more experience people) who have anything against what I said, please tell me and I will correct it. This is, as I said, what I know from my own experience and research I did along the way.  Lastly, please don't do it to yourself. It's easy, as careful as you may be, to miss and cause yourself serious injury. And even if that doesn't happen, often bleeding can lead to long term blood and heart complications. I would also encourage you to talk to someone (not the internet) about this. Stay safe",0.9485,positive,neutral
454,MentalHealthSupport,"1 year ago, i had this strange addiction, i would just pick up a blade and cut my arms,",speaker,3,"Yeah, i was never addicted to any substance, and i didnt do it because i was depressed or angry... In fact there was this shallow feeling",-0.5994,negative,neutral
455,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal Mum,speaker,1,"I’m struggling, Quick back story I come from a ltoxic family, my father killed himself, I myself have attempted when I was a lot younger. I have always liked to see myself as a high functioning depressed person. I can usually talk/distract/shower myself out of episodes. Even calling them episodes to me feels wrong because I like to pretend I’m the last person on earth that has mental health issues but I do. I’ve just had a baby and it’s all becoming very real that I can’t cope on my own anymore but at the same time I’ve buried the way I feel for so long that I don’t know how to admit something is VERY wrong. I don’t want to be here but at the same time how could I ever leave my daughter the way my dad left me and in that same thought I think that’s exactly why I have too. It’s torture. I see the most fucked up images in my head and have horrible thoughts all the time, I just want it to stop.",-0.9842,negative,ashamed
455,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal Mum,listener_1,2,Please talk to a doctor. I'd bet my last dollar you're dealing with PND and you deserve help,0.6124,positive,afraid
455,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal Mum,speaker,3,"I know that that’s the sensible thing to do. I just don’t even know where to begin or I’m terrified of this being a real thing that I’m obviously going to have to accept help for.  Sometimes. I’m not ever going to harm her but those stories you see on the news about Mums and people always ask the same questions “why would she take her child’s life with hers?” I get it because you love them so much you can’t leave them but at the same time you don’t want to be here.  I’d never act on it, I think I’ll always have a grip on this enough to never hurt anyone or maybe even myself but god when your at a low it’s hard to shake thoughts and images out of your head. I think what scared me the most is the other day my partner came home, his jobs just been made redundant and I found myself 8 hours later numb just not feeling anything, no hunger, no anger, not even sadness just nothing and I was like a zombie filling out all my death benefits and making sure everything was up to date, and that it all went to him and my child because all of a sudden that’s what was going to help them. It took a while but I snapped out of it and I’m not fine but that thoughts not consuming me now. It’s just there in the back of my head like an option. I sound crazy, I nearly want to apologise for venting, I’m all over the place.  It’s like a constant fight with myself. When I’m really low and it’s horrible, I start snapping out of it and that’s when I want and need help but I never reach out in time because I start feeling better and then I talk myself into ‘it’s an over-reaction and I can handle this on my own’ ‘don’t be a burden’ and then something triggers another meltdown and it all happens again. This cycle can happen multiple times a day some worse than others. My brother asked me the other day if I was bi-polar (our mum is) and I just laughed because my emotions have been so extreme I don’t blame him for seeing me like our mum, . I mustn’t be handling things as well as I thought. Sorry I’m probably more writing to myself trying to understand it, like a diary page, like a diary page someone can read.",0.9811,positive,apprehensive
455,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal Mum,listener_1,4,"Hon, you're just a Mum dealing with Postnatal Depression, I promise. You are not bad or evil or dangerous or anything like that, you have depression and it's treatable.  I made the same mistake. When they finally called to say they had a place in the hospital for me after six months of waiting, I turned the bed down because I felt good that day and believed I was getting better.  I was wrong and didn't get offered a bed again for seven more months, and by then I'd sunk so low that I ended up on a treatment order at the local hospital because I'd tried to kill myself.  I went through this, and it doesn't get better on its own. You just need support and possibly some short-term medication and you will be okay. It is treatable, but it doesn't get better on its own.",-0.7391,negative,trusting
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,1,"When I'm deeply saddened I can't cry, but when I get a little angry or ashamed i can't hold back my tears no matter what and I don't know what to do.  I just had an ""episode"" at work and it's the third time in the last month when most of my coworkers notice. They think I'm doing it for attention but honestly I can't help it at all, I'm trying my best but it's so hard.  Am I the only one?",-0.6348,negative,ashamed
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,2,"I also try my hardest to keep it together in front of  them,  but they notice something is wrong and start asking questions and that's when i start aggressively bawling, I can't talk and I try to get away.  It's so embarrassing.",-0.9127,negative,embarrassed
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_1,3,Yeah whenever I get mad tears flood out no idea why I'm not sad or anything my body just cries,-0.6423,negative,sad
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,4,"Exactly and it sucks so bad, I want to be a strong person but everyone sees us like the weakest of them all",-0.5046,negative,agreeing
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_2,5,"""Wow why are you crying I literally just asked what was wrong?!""   Daily struggle. I can't even control my own body.",-0.6114,negative,ashamed
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,6,"I couldn't relate more! Or ""cmon don't cry wtf"" like ok sure, I'm all good now that you told me",0.8809,positive,agreeing
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_2,7,"Yeah telling me not to cry is gonna make me think ""oh hey I'mma stop now!"". You're literally adding fuel to the fire.",0.1144,positive,annoyed
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,8,I couldn't say it better,-0.3412,negative,proud
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_2,9,Yay emotional banter!,0.6476,positive,joyful
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,10,"That is true but I'd like to be a serious individual at work, not a crybaby, that's why it bothers me so much",0.3612,positive,neutral
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,11,"Those are some good tips, I'll try them out if i have to again, thanks",0.7003,positive,acknowledging
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,12,"Good for you! Good luck with your future job, I hope you don't get involved with such assholes ever again",0.8016,positive,wishing
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,13,Try pinching between your thumb and index finger while pressing your tongue to the top of your mouth. It really helped me a while ago and i didnt think ts was possible,0.2023,positive,neutral
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_3,14,Ok thank,0.5719,positive,wishing
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,15,"Thank you so so much! I feel better knowing all of this. I tried leaving this job because it's  not for me and I keep messing up, but my boss won't let me and she is too nice of a person so i can't insist. Maybe I'll get over it with time but i doubt it",0.5334,positive,grateful
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,listener_4,16,It took me a while to leave my toxic job too. You can do it. It may take time and planning but you can. What finally got me out was realizing it really is just a job. I am sure you work with some good people but you have a right to happiness and they they should respect that and if they dont then what does it matter they cant force you to stay. Find something else out there go for it and leave the misery behind. I believe in you. I am sending you all the positive vibes I can.,0.9473,positive,faithful
456,MentalHealthSupport,Who else cries uncontrollably only when they are angry or embarrassed,speaker,17,"Thank you so so much! You're a great person,  I'm already feeling better and more motivated",0.9272,positive,grateful
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,speaker,1,I’m a 20 year old female. i’ve been struggling with my mental health for at least 6 years. in high school i used school as a distraction and when i moved out i used my work as a distraction from my deteriorating mental health. after 5 years of on and off struggling i got with my boyfriend in July of 2018  and he was my motivation to finally take a step back and try to get help. him and his mother are my ROCK they’re the family i never had growing up. although i’m happy to finally be getting help i feel like it’s almost hopeless. i know i did the right thing by going to my doctor but she doesn’t seem to care. The wait lists for therapist’s where i’m from is so long. My doctor referred me to a therapist in April and i should get an appointment by september if i’m lucky. My doctor right now treats mental health as less important than physical health. Multiple times after seeing her I’d call my boyfriend crying over how she’s treated me. She gets mad when i mention wanting to switch medication or try something new because she says “pills won’t save you”. She acts like there’s nothing wrong with me and i’m just a sad child. Today i seen her again and she just upped my dose for the 3rd time this summer and rushed the appointment telling me to come back in 2 weeks. She acts like i’m not worth her time even though i told her today i was feeling very suicidal and was even self harming. She makes me want to give up on trying to get better...,0.1878,positive,grateful
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,listener_1,2,"Don't give up. Whatever happens, don't give up on trying to feel better. Try to hold on until you can see a therapist",0.4404,positive,hopeful
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,speaker,3,it’s getting harder and harder to fight for myself when my doctor won’t help me,0.0258,neutral,sad
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,listener_1,4,"You just need to make it a little bit further. Look for other people that can help you. You can do it, just a little more",0.4019,positive,trusting
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,speaker,5,i’m trying.,0.0,neutral,neutral
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,listener_1,6,"If you need someone else to talk to, I'd like to help",0.6369,positive,caring
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,speaker,7,having someone to talk to never hurts. it is very hard to reach out when i need it though,0.3015,positive,neutral
457,MentalHealthSupport,Hopeless,listener_1,8,That's why I want to help. I want you to be able to ask for help when you need it,0.7184,positive,caring
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,speaker,1,"Im 17 m and i don't know whats wrong with me and im to afraid to see anyone about it so I thought I'd do it this way so that I'm at least anonymous. So for about 5 or 6 years i have been dealing with depression thats about all i know that is wrong but for the past year or so people around me have pointed out that i regularly have ""episodes"" in which i compleatly cut contact with everyone and i seem more down than i ever am, i recently got into a relationship and while my gf makes me happier than ive ever been i still have these ""episodes"" and I have no control over my emotions, I either feel nothing or I get overwhelmed with feelings there's no in between for me. i had an episode the other day where i contemplated ending my life cause i fell out with all my friends and my gf and i hadn't talked in a while, i was talked out of it and managed to fix things with my friends, makes some more and talked to my gf. i feel like im close to having another one now, i dont know how i got like this i just wish i could get through it but it never seems to get any better.",0.9597,positive,lonely
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,listener_1,2,you have to get help from a professional. although i haven’t had exactly the best experience with my doctor that doesn’t mean you won’t. i would 100% recommend seeing a therapist when i went to a walk in counselling clinic it was the only time i felt okay in a very long time. they told me everything i was doing right rather then everything i was doing wrong. talking to a professional is the best thing you could do,0.9081,positive,neutral
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,speaker,3,"I have tried to see a counseler before, well my school assigned me one rather, I found it incredibly difficult to actually tell them anything I don't know why, I got along with them fine I would talk to them alot just never about my issues",0.0276,neutral,embarrassed
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,listener_2,4,"This is a great workshop: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  It's free, private, online, self-led and you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to. It just gives you all the tools you need to help you manage your emotions and mental health and wellness.",0.9149,positive,trusting
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,speaker,5,Thank you ill give it a try,-0.0772,negative,acknowledging
458,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what's wrong with me,listener_2,6,Your welcome. I hope it helps! :),0.8955,positive,encouraging
459,MentalHealthSupport,i need help my anger is out of control,speaker,1,my boyfriend (17) makes me so angry lately that i can’t help but slap or hit him when he says things that make me *feel* sad or disrespected. I’ve been telling myself i won’t hit him and am trying to stop but my anger gets to me and I CANT HELP BUT SWING.   I’ve gotten so angry that i’ve hit myself too.  when in my right mindspace i know that it is not okay to hit him. i realize and know that this is not okay in my normal calm headspace but i honestly CAN NOT control it. WHAT SHOULD I DO.?! help i feel such aggressive impulses that are so strong and sudden and hate and regret what i have done after the fact. WHAT WILL HELP ME,-0.9605,negative,furious
459,MentalHealthSupport,i need help my anger is out of control,listener_1,2,"You really need to get on top of this for both of you. He doesn't deserve to be hit for saying something that bothers you, and you're not going to feel very good for hitting him. Right now your behaviour is abusive, but since you recognise that and want help to address it, you deserve to get that help (taking responsibility is bloody hard, too many people excuse their behaviour with ""but he made me angry!""  Feeling sad or disrespected are valid feelings, so the question is how can you deal with it better.  Can you give an example of the kind of things he says? Don't worry about whether or not we'll agree that it should have that effect, the fact is it does.",-0.6599,negative,neutral
459,MentalHealthSupport,i need help my anger is out of control,speaker,3,i don’t know if it’s me being overdramatic but his words really really draw emotion out of me that i can not control. i say mean things and he does not react that way a lot. but i really cannot help but get so angry and sometimes i can control it but i eventually SNAP and cannot hold it in. What should i do i NEED to change,-0.8797,negative,angry
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,speaker,1,"Long post, sorry. TL;DR at end  I have a toxic family. Not just a few, all of them. My mom had BPD before she died, and now my sister is definitely showing signs she has it. My other sister is anti meds, but so high strung with anxiety she can only be dealt with in small doses. My bro is on the spectrum and has been babied his whole life and my stepdad is walking around with blinders on about any family drama, and honestly contributes to the drama by not being a parent. All of them are adults, but only high strung sis and me act like it with homes and families of our own. Possible BPD sis has an infant daughter whose dad is on again off again based on my sister's rage.  My issue: usually I stay away. I am the most levelheaded of all of us, and I also bore the brunt of abuse from my mom. I know what my limits are for my mental wellbeing now that she is gone, and have been relatively okay mentally since her death 8 years ago. I got closure, and really am not at all hung up on mommy issues.   Yesterday my BPD sis needed me to come watch the baby so she could get medical help. She doesn't drive, and I am the most knowledgeable about where to go for these types of things, so she asked, and I answered. This is the first time she has reached out since her daughter was born almost a year and a half ago.   Sis starts in with bro, screaming about how he is failing my niece. They live in my step dads house together. Shes telling him how he has mommy issues and I'm trying desperately hard to ignore the whole thing. I want to keep my sanity after all. She all of a sudden turns the attack on me insisting that I went to therapy after mom died, I tell her no I got my closure and didnt need anything. She tells me I'm lying because she knows I went to therapy. I tell her yeah, I went to therapy for MY mommy issues. (I'm trying to adopt as I cant have kids and I've got some hangups over it.) She resumes screaming at bro until my stepdad turns up to take her to an appointment.   It's a day later and my mental state is wrecked. I feel like I am moody and snappy, and i dont know how to fix this. I dont know how to regulate after an encounter with my crazy pants sister. I especially am bothered by the fact that my sister thinks i have mommy issues when i dont.  Do i need to go back into therapy, or is there something else that I can do to get my mind flushed of all these feels. I swear it's like my mom is alive again doling out cutting words to cut deep.  TL;DR: Toxic sis has tainted my wellbeing, how to flush out the toxic feels.",-0.9929,negative,annoyed
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,listener_1,2,"What's so horrible about the possibility you m I g h t  still have some mommy issues . It sound like you have every reason to have mommy issues ,daddy issues , sister and brother(do you have a brother?) Issues !!! Might as well set a good example; if only for your good and go to therapy. It might also make it easier when you are forced  to talk to and relate with your various "" issues"" 🌼🌼🌼",0.7417,positive,annoyed
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,speaker,3,"It's not that I have issue with having mommy issues. I just know I dont. I have stressors in my life and go to therapy to deal when I need to. This is different. This is every time I go around them, I have physical reactions. My blood pressure goes high, my eyes dilate, my heartbeat beat increases... I'm in fight or flight mode. Its not just being around them. It's when the yelling and bickering start. I don't even need to be part of it, just being around it gets to me. And then I'm a wreck for days afterwards. I want to stop that response. I dont get like that in any other situation. A stranger can threaten my life and I'm calm. My sis yelling at me calling me a liar? A wreck.",-0.9281,negative,terrified
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,speaker,4,Thank you. I think this is exactly what I needed and I am so glad I asked and you responded.,0.7481,positive,grateful
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,speaker,5,"Thanks. I wish I could walk away, but at some point I have to get involved again and I need to fix whatever causes me this anxiety. I am working on a plan now, have antidepressants to take because my husband has noticed a downward trend over the last week. I have an appointment to get as needed anxiety meds for when I need to deal with my family.",-0.1437,negative,guilty
460,MentalHealthSupport,Need help unpacking my mental BS,listener_2,6,You’re welcome! I hope it works for you. 😊💗,0.9523,positive,encouraging
461,MentalHealthSupport,tips for low self esteem,speaker,1,every time i have a major success i feel nothing but when i have even just a minor failure its a knife through my heart and i feel worthless,-0.0009,neutral,disappointed
461,MentalHealthSupport,tips for low self esteem,listener_1,2,"You have developed a filter that only allows negativity through,but it doesn't have to be this way.  Think about something you can take pride in. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering;  * ""I always say nice things to people"" * ""I keep my room clean"" * ""I dress nicely"" * ""I have pretty eyes""  Anything like that will work. Find that thing, and then any time you find yourself beating yourself up, deliberately raise that point.  It won't feel any different at first, but with repetition your brain will start to recognise the replacement sentiment and allow you to feel better.  When it starts to work, add more things to fight negative self-talk with.  Also, be willing to accept compliments. If something tells you something nice you may find that your immediate reaction is to feel uncomfortable and downplay it, but make yourself say ""thank you"". Again, you're re-training your brain.  Iver time, this will remove that filter.",0.8766,positive,confident
461,MentalHealthSupport,tips for low self esteem,listener_2,3,I just can't thank you enough for this.,-0.2755,negative,grateful
461,MentalHealthSupport,tips for low self esteem,listener_1,4,You deserve it hon. You really do. Yiu deserve to enjoy your life,0.4939,positive,jealous
462,MentalHealthSupport,"i don’t know how to deal with my mental health at 16, im scared and confused",speaker,1,"i don’t know what going on with me recently, I feel like my mental health has gotten worse within the last year and I don’t know what to do.   In my sophomore year I took a class that was very difficult for me and it stressed me out so much that I was depressed for most of my first semester—I think at least, I would lay down on the floor and I didn’t have the motivation to more or anything and I’d cry a lot like a couple times every week.   But I thought I was better. Then my parents health got worse than normal, my dad had dealt with cancer multiple times and his health problems were nothing new to me but my mom got diagnosed too. And honestly, for a while I was genuinely okay more okay than I should’ve been.   But it’s summer now, I started crying more often again. I was okay while family was over for a bit but I’ve been doing it again. Most of the time it’s been because I’m upset at how my parents are doing but it’s also about the future. Even more recently, many things are making me anxious—the very slightest inconveniences have been sending me into anxious feeling where I have to take a break and cry it out.   I’m very confused and scared, I don’t know why I wanted to post this but yeah—any advice I guess?",-0.9781,negative,sad
462,MentalHealthSupport,"i don’t know how to deal with my mental health at 16, im scared and confused",listener_1,2,"This workshop here saved and changed my life. Totally free, private, and online: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  ​  All advice I have would be me regurgitating everything I learned from there.",0.7501,positive,trusting
462,MentalHealthSupport,"i don’t know how to deal with my mental health at 16, im scared and confused",speaker,3,thank you! i’ll be giving it a look :3,0.8172,positive,acknowledging
462,MentalHealthSupport,"i don’t know how to deal with my mental health at 16, im scared and confused",listener_1,4,No problem! I hope it helps! :),0.8845,positive,encouraging
463,MentalHealthSupport,"Sibling (F, 30s) with depression is punishing me(F, older 30s)?",speaker,1,"Hi everyone,  Thank you first of all creating this community. My sister was diagnosed with depression (anxiety) about three years ago, but the last probably 12 years of all our lives have been lost to this horrible state.  This last week I haven't been around much, and long story short, she is giving me the silent treatment for not being there for her. The fact that I've been doing 12 hour shifts at work and my work week has been eight days this week is giving her no pause. The fact is, I didn't contact her as much as I should have, while always saying that we will always be in touch, and now I need to be punished for it.   When we went on holiday abroad for a few days last month, she basically told me that my inability to stay close to her is what caused her mental breakdown in the first place.  What would be the best thing to do - suck it up and let her rip on me, or stay away until she has cooled off?  It's not about me so I'm not going into much more detail or defending myself but as I don't have depression, I am trying hard to be strong for her while also trying to stave off diabetes and my own pressures, about which I haven't told her because she's a fixer and with all due respect and love I don't want fixing, and she needs to focus on herself.  Thank you for your advice.",0.9196,positive,grateful
463,MentalHealthSupport,"Sibling (F, 30s) with depression is punishing me(F, older 30s)?",listener_1,2,"I'm going to share my story and see if it helps.  I have chronic clinical depression and DID/OCD/PTSD. A few years ago I had a nervous breakdown, and last year I developed conversion disorder.  At the time I was pissed at my brother and said it wouldn't have been as bad if he'd stepped up more, so he responded with ""I've helped look after your son, I've helped you financially, I call you to check how you're going, but I'm also one person and as much as I love you, I can't always be there or I'm going to wear out too and what good would I be to you then?""  It hurt, but he was right. He's not always physically present but he's done a hell of a lot behind the scenes as well as offering practical support and I was not being fair.  You need to look after yourself, you cannot be a full-time carer to your sister while also trying to get your own health under control, and you are within your rights to set boundaries on what you can do.  It will be tough, but it will ultimately benefit you both to set limits. Best wishes, it's not an easy situation.  I'm 38 and my brother is 40, for the record. Same basic age bracket you're dealing with.",0.5343,positive,angry
463,MentalHealthSupport,"Sibling (F, 30s) with depression is punishing me(F, older 30s)?",speaker,3,"You are extremely kind for sharing this... thank you. I'm scared that explaining my boundaries may make her upset, but it is true that if I am broken (albeit in a less painful way) then I cannot function the way she needs, so it is better to say something with sensitivity. Thank you again. Bless you and may you have much love and reason for joy. Thank you 🙏",0.978,positive,grateful
463,MentalHealthSupport,"Sibling (F, 30s) with depression is punishing me(F, older 30s)?",listener_2,4,This! \^\^,0.0,neutral,neutral
463,MentalHealthSupport,"Sibling (F, 30s) with depression is punishing me(F, older 30s)?",speaker,5,"You're so right, eMarchHare. It is hard to find the right words, especially as now she has quit another job due to being unsettled around colleagues, and so having the right words that don't treat her like a lesser or incomplete person while also being sensitive of why she feels the way she does is so important. Thank you for responding and sharing. I hope you have much love and joy around you and we can all be there to support one another through this journey of life. 🙏",0.938,positive,agreeing
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,1,"Like i perfectly understand i can never really be happy, i can never be able to express myself, as my body is permanently damaged.   i also got two sources of chronic pain.  I also have DPDR  Is there a way i can learn to not be bothered by it? Like, feel the constant pain, see my horrid disfigured body but not be affected by it? Just not care anymore? Anything?",-0.7755,negative,questioning
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_1,2,What happened?,0.0,neutral,questioning
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,3,Doesn't matter i wanna stop being affected by constant pain,-0.733,negative,sad
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_1,4,"I understand that, but knowing what causes the pain can help. I live with chronic pain from psoriatic arthritis and bone degeneration (my knees dislocate at random) amongst other things.",-0.7469,negative,agreeing
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,5,"I'm trans and i haven't felt like myself since i was 8 when i entered wrong puberty and trying to transition has only made me feel worse, as i can't really be a normal woman ever, but now i look like an especially disgusting dude with tits, everyone stares at me, people who were my friends left me and my family will soon disown me and i still cannot be myself or even be a bit more comfortable with myself.  I also got into self harm and drug use when i couldn't transition and both of these resulted in bad chronic pain.   I have also been experiencing DPDR since i was 10ish, because of intense gender dysphoria.",-0.9225,negative,ashamed
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_1,6,">i can't really be a normal woman ever  I'm not sure if this will help but I'm a cis woman and I have a beard, square jawline, and masculine features.  Feminity is not a certain look, it's something inside. If you are feminine inside, you're woman enough and to hell with what haters say. I have trans friends in various stages of transition,plus one who isn't going to transition, and the key thing is they are happy because they express their gender in their own way. Only one of those who are mtf wears ""women's"" clothing because they quite rightly point out that women wear pants too.  By self-harm, are you referring to cutting? If so, I can understand why you feel disfigured, but the day will come when you view those scars as mile markers of how far you've come. It may be a while off yet, but it will come.  DPDR would be hell to live with. Do you have access to psychologist support for that?",-0.8523,negative,confident
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,7,But i don't really care much about others opinions.  I mean my family disowning me is pretty important tho but i fundamentally cannot feel comfortable about myself,-0.2072,negative,trusting
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_2,8,"Well that's good that you don't care about other people's opinions! You do need some way to learn how to love yourself, it seems. And believing that you're fundamentally flawed and/or that you can never change the way you feel about yourself is a lie your brain is telling you. Our brains are adaptable. It's just a pattern of thinking that you've gotten into. It's a habit. You can retrain your brain to think differently about yourself and not only feel comfortable about yourself, but love yourself.",0.8165,positive,angry
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,9,">By self-harm, are you referring to cutting?   No i mean taking drugs, not eating for weeks etc.   I feel disfigured because I was poisoned by high male levels of testosterone for 11 years since i was 8 and it definitely has fucking ruined me on the inside and out.   >DPDR would be hell to live with. Do you have access to psychologist support for that?  No. I can't see a psychologist because insurance. I'm trying to find a job to be able to have insurance but we'll see.",-0.6815,negative,questioning
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,10,"I mean i have been poisoned by a hormone that has disfigured me.....  And i do have dysphoria over things that i cannot change ever, so it's safe to assume that i will have dysphoria about it forever.  Tips on how to think differently?",-0.0056,neutral,questioning
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_2,11,"I used to have body dysmorphic disorder. Although, I'm not disfigured. But I do understand a bit where you're coming from with the body image issues and dysphoria.   I don't have ""tips"" on how to think differently, but I do know of an entire free online private workshop you can take to learn how to think differently and retrain your brain if you're interested. No quick fixes though, I'm afraid.",0.6542,positive,agreeing
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,speaker,12,Sure I'd love to see the workshop,0.7579,positive,jealous
464,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a way i can stop caring?,listener_2,13,Here it is: www.innerpathways.org  Changed my life.,0.0,neutral,faithful
465,MentalHealthSupport,There’s times I want to cut or drink uncontrollably,speaker,1,"I first felt these temptations in high school but it goes against my religion so I didn’t. I was 16 at the time. I’m 19 now and I drank because a boy who “loved” me for 3 years almost raped me. He pulled down my robe and groped my breasts and I was frozen. Waiting for him to ask for consent but he didn’t and I pushed him off and ran to the bathroom with my phone crying.  I got drunk the next day and told him to replay the previous day but ask for consent because I can’t sleep, I can’t function knowing I was almost rape. So I begged him to replace it into a good memory and whatever it was, he asked for consent this time.   After that he would drive me to quiet areas at night and say he was horny and just stare at me. I thought he only wanted to kiss because I was a virgin and I had no sexual experience. He would come on top of me and just take what he wanted like I was an object. Gradually he became possessive and threw his laptop on me when a friend called him a cuck, Hes screamed at me for giving him blue balls.    All of this happened within April 2019 till now July 2019. And I’m drowning.  My dad raped and abused my mother so trust and sex and love were key words and I just completely hate the word “love” and “trust” it just doesn’t exist for me anymore and I don’t know what to do",-0.8248,negative,faithful
465,MentalHealthSupport,There’s times I want to cut or drink uncontrollably,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry you’ve gone through these things. I know where you’ve been and how intense those feelings can get. But you have to stay strong and talk it out, not do negative coping strategies.",0.8572,positive,sympathizing
465,MentalHealthSupport,There’s times I want to cut or drink uncontrollably,speaker,3,I can’t afford therapy and free counselling lines take hours. There isn’t much I can do,0.5106,positive,disappointed
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,speaker,1,"The other day I was on my way to pick up my friend from college, I had my two other friends in my car let’s call them Wayne and Garrett. For some context I just purchased a new car. To get to my friends college I had to drive through some not so nice parts of town, which is where this event took place. I was behind an older beat up suv at a stop light, when the light turned green he started driving but was going very slow, around 15 mph, he started slowing down completely and stopped in the middle of the road. He then got out of his car and started walking very quickly towards me, luckily I was far enough back that I had time to swerve into the other lane and go around him. Wayne was in the backseat and after we’d been driving for a minute or so he mentioned that the suv that we had gone around was coming up behind us really quickly, I looked in my rear view mirror and he was flying towards us at this point. We were on a 4 lane road and I was in the right hand lane, so I slammed on my breaks and turned into a neighborhood, he was in the left hand lane at that point and he pulled a u-turn in oncoming traffic to follow us into this neighborhood. At this point Garrett has completely frozen in place and I’m yelling for Wayne to call the police, during this chaos I made a mistake and turned into a dead end. He followed and turned his car sideways trying to block us in, he then got out of his car again and started running towards us. I swerved around him nearly hitting his open door and got out of there. I started flying through the neighborhood, running stop signs and dodging other cars to try and get away, the whole time he was on our ass following every move we made. I turned back onto a main road and he was still following us, I blew through 1 or 2 red lights to get away. At that point we had started driving towards the nearest police station to hopefully be saved. We lost him before we made it to the police station, none of us had gotten his license plate number unfortunately so we couldn’t give the 911 operator a full description of who was chasing us. Wayne filed the police report and still hasn’t heard anything back, I’ve been having the same nightmare every night since that day about him actually getting to us and killing my friends and I. I can barely sleep, I work around 30 - 45 minutes away and today I got stuck in traffic and had a panic attack because I didn’t have a way to get out. I don’t see my therapist for a couple more days and I feel like I’m losing my mind over this.   Tldr; I was chased by a man in an suv who kept getting out to approach my car when possible, and I’ve been having nightmares and panic attacks because of it.",-0.9891,negative,apprehensive
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,listener_1,2,That is awful! I'm so sorry that happened to you. That must have been terrifying. No wonder you're still struggling. It sounds like you're having some PTSD from the experience--which is not uncommon. Have you thought about seeking help for PTSD?,-0.8118,negative,sympathizing
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,speaker,3,"I’m going to see my therapist on the second, one of my coworkers that I’m decently close with also said it sounds like ptsd. I’m just afraid of labeling it ptsd",0.3612,positive,apprehensive
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,listener_1,4,Why are you afraid of labeling it as PTSD?,0.0,neutral,questioning
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,speaker,5,"I’m not sure honestly, I think it’s more about the fact I’m kind of afraid of having another label on my mental health. It’s a bit irrational I just always stress about titles and labels",-0.8244,negative,apprehensive
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,listener_1,6,"So you have other mental health issues and just having the labels make you feel even worse...Kinda like ""I'm that dude who has OCD, anxiety, depression and now also PTSD!"" It makes you feel like you're messed up.  I can reassure you that there's nothing wrong with you. Even if you have other mental health issues, the feelings that cause us discomfort (so depression, anxiety, anger, shame, guilt...etc) are just giving us information that something we're doing isn't working for us. I know there can be a stigma around mental health issues, but try not to beat yourself up about what you're struggling with. And all of your mental health issues (including the PTSD) can be resolved.   Just out of curiosity, if you feel like sharing, what about titles and labels stress you out? Or is it just mental health labels that stress you out?",-0.88,negative,agreeing
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,speaker,7,"It’s honestly just mental health labels, I was always the kid with too many growing up and was bullied for it. I’ve been living with adhd, depression, anxiety, and in the past I’ve dealt with bad insomnia which I’ve luckily grown out of",-0.7184,negative,afraid
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,listener_1,8,"I'm sorry that happened to you and that you were bullied. People can be such jerks! Way to kick someone when they're down. I was bullied as well, but not for my mental health issues. I was just a really sensitive kid who would cry easily, so I was an easy target. It took me a long time to let people see my emotions after that. So I understand the desire to hide what you feel is a flaw and/or something that would make you a target.   If you want help aside from what you work on at therapy, this workshop here helped me:  [www.innerpathway.org](https://www.innerpathway.org)  I used to suffer from PTSD, OCD, anxiety (general and social), depression, and suicidal ideation. The therapeutic modality taught in the workshop resolved these issues for me. It's free, private, online and you can do it in conjunction with your current therapy. I had a therapist for over a decade and he was fantastic. But this did the trick for me. Maybe it can help you. :)",0.5983,positive,sympathizing
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,speaker,9,"I’ll definitely look into that, thank you so much",0.6369,positive,agreeing
466,MentalHealthSupport,Traumatic driving experience,listener_1,10,You're welcome! I hope you start to feel some relief soon. :),0.906,positive,consoling
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,speaker,1,So I (17F) think I may be dealing with some mental health issues and have been like this for at least 2 years now and I want to go and get help to see if I can get a diagnosis to get some closure and hopefully start to get better but I don't know how to approach the subject with my parents. I'm not even sure how you would go about getting a diagnosis in my country (England). I do have a few friends who have been diagnosed with different conditions and attend therapy regularly but It doesn't feel right to approach them about it because it feels like if I talk to them about it they might think im just self diagnosing myself and I'm actually fine? What if people just think I'm overreacting?  Any help on how I could approach my parents or friends about the subject would be much appreciated.  Thanks :),0.9873,positive,apprehensive
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,listener_1,2,"Go to your GP. Asking for help was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but was the first step to getting better. They'll likely refer you to a local mental healthcare Trust for a consultation and then being put on a waiting list (I guess my issues were quite mild comparatively, but I did wait a year). If things are really serious such as suicidal thoughts or self harm, I can imagine that help being offered reasonably quickly.  I hope things improve quickly for you",0.7659,positive,hopeful
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,speaker,3,"Thanks for the advice, Im on holiday from college at the moment so I think i'll try and build up the courage to go down to the local doctors and talk about getting a consultation at some point in the next few weeks.  Thank you again.",0.8834,positive,acknowledging
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,speaker,4,"I've always tried to avoid any sort of self diagnosis, though I do admit I've done a couple of those random tests online I never take them as a serious diagnosis more of a ""oh maybe that's a possibility and another reason why maybe I should go and get a consultation"" sort of thing. While I'm sure my family would be supportive (especially my sister) I just don't really know how I would bring it up since my parents seem to be busy with their own relationship at the moment (that's a whole story of its own though). But thank you for the advice I think over the next couple weeks I'll try and get the courage to go down to the local doctors and ask about getting a consultation.",0.8573,positive,apprehensive
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,listener_1,5,"Any time.  I was 30 years old when I asked for help and was a blubbering mess of a man in the GP's surgery. They'll have seen and heard it all in their time, so as soon as you feel ready to ask for help, just know that it's not an undue burden or not a valid illness.",0.8428,positive,prepared
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,speaker,6,"Thanks, I'll check it out :)",0.7096,positive,acknowledging
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,listener_2,7,"You're welcome. If you end up using it, I hope it helps. :)",0.8885,positive,encouraging
467,MentalHealthSupport,How do I ask for help?,speaker,8,"This entire message is so touching, I'm so glad you're doing better now and thank you for your kind words :)",0.94,positive,sentimental
468,MentalHealthSupport,Idk what it is (23f),speaker,1,"I’m struggling with what could possibly be wrong with me. I grew up with minimal friends, and everyone didn’t like me. Lots of people use to bully me and I don’t really understand why. I remember reacting to people who used to bully me and it always made things worse. High school came around and people still bullied me, I had 1 best friend in high school and then I moved to a new school. People started rumours about me instantly, I felt like I couldn’t confide in anyone because my parents were going through a divorce so I dropped out of grade 10 and tried to go to a different school in grade 12. I’ve always considered myself a very talkative person, and some people just took that as annoying I guess... over the years I’ve noticed I sometimes say “but...” at the end of a sentence when I feel uncomfortable or when I’m talking about something that I think someone will try to correct me on or judge me. I know my mom has OCD and I tend to be a skin picker, whenever I get a pimple I obsess over it for days.",-0.875,negative,afraid
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,speaker,1,"I am a counselor to this boy (let’s call him John) and John was very nice to me in said camp. He was the nicest to me and FREQUENTLY touched me not necessarily gayly but still more than any of the other campers. I was very nice to during the camp and I feel like I gave him special treatment. Although it was only for a week I felt like I was doing everything just to be around him no matter what, subconsciously and consciously. At the end of said camp he even questioned my sexuality and I said I was straight obviously. I have had thoughts like this before for boys who are younger than me when I was like 16-17 but it got really bad this year. I don’t know what to do. I think I should go to therapy but I’ve heard it goes bad whenever you mention pedophiliac tendencies. I don’t want this to spiral out of control later on in my life and become some creep. Any help would be great from here. Thanks.  Also sorry for the long post...",0.981,positive,caring
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,listener_1,2,"You are only 18. Seeking help now is the best thing for you to do.   Hopefully your tastes are just maturing later than average. But in the mean time you need to get some help, you don't want to offend.",0.8705,positive,consoling
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,speaker,3,This is what doesn’t make sense how are my thoughts wrong exactly why do I need help specifically go into further detail please I don’t understand your response to well but thanks for it.,0.705,positive,sympathizing
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,listener_1,4,"I really don't believe I have to go into detail. But I'll give it a go.   You mentioned that the thoughts were paedophilic in one of your sentences, along with mentioning your apprehension to seek therapy because of judgement I'm guessing, I don't know because the post is vague.  If the thoughts are truly paedophilic/sexual in nature then you already know that it's not right.   Paedophilic thoughts can lead to predatory behaviour, predatory behaviour leads to damaging another human being, damaging another human being makes you an asshole (among other things.) You can go to prison for these offenses if charged, this can lead to you being abused physically, emotionally and sexually.   Seek help so you don't do those things. Its simple.    Hopefully this isn't a set preference for you as you age, and hopefully your preferences mature and hopefully you do not offend but I am not and expert and neither are you. It's just better for you to seek help.",0.418,positive,apprehensive
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,speaker,5,"I believe the reason for these thoughts have a deeper meaning possibly. I don’t know why I have them and I don’t really want them that’s for sure. And I’m for sure not going to tell my parents about this mess. I don’t want to tell you my life story but here goes.  I joined the BSA to get away from my family I hated my situation. I’ve also known I liked boys since I was young too but I could never admit it as I was too scared to.  As far back as I can remember my parents didn’t like each other so they got a divorce. Said parents are also complete assholes and also expect way to much from their son at just the age of 10. Tutoring music lessons chores work ethic unreasonable study times physical and verbal abuse. My stepmother has severe anger issues and has hit me in the past before because she had a superiority complex. Meanwhile my coward father won’t stand up to her and just lets her rule  everything. My mother on the other hand acts like a child even though she’s over the age of 40 she parties and comes home drunk and high on  several occasions and I have to take care of her.  Enough about my parents. Anyways, this goes on for about 8 years and the boy now turns into a man. Shocked by all of his new “reponsibilities” the man now recollects his life and decided what he should do with it from now on. I find a job at a summer camp before I go out onto college. It’s a Boy Scout summer camp. I enjoy working with the boys and girls there it’s really fun. However one boy is different and takes particular interest in the counselor (me) and starts touching me inappropriately and I should have told him to stop but I didnt because I thought it was harmless. Week goes by and there ya have it folks.   Also I forgot to mention that I went to an all boys military boarding school and have been in scouts for ten years and have had sexual experiencs in there as well. My life so far has been a pathetic mess and almost seems irrepearable. I’ve also been taken advantage of in many situations and forced to do things I didn’t want to do. I believe that all of these terrible and memorable experiences make me have these thoughts out of a sick power to control someone or even think about Doing it. I know it’s wrong and I do want help I just don’t know how I would deal with it in the real world without my family and friends knowing. Thats why I use reddit to vent my frustrations and issues thank you.  P.S. srry for long post just started typing and couldn’t stop.",-0.9625,negative,ashamed
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,listener_1,6,"I feel for you but you asked me why it was wrong. You already know it's wrong. That doesn't require further discussion.   As for counseling or therapy there may be funded programs you can access, you're an adult so your parents should not need to know the nature of your concerns.   You're also catching this early on, so that is good. And it could be a result of what you went though, I think that's entirely possible.   If you are apprehensive about seeking help at this time your only options are to not spend time with boys in the age range that you prefer.   I don't know the nature of your thoughts, whether it's a dominant sexual thought regarding younger boys or if it's an overall attraction to younger boys.   I've taken only 4 psychology classes so my understanding is that when it comes from trauma like you've mentioned then it can be that you're attracted to those of the age that you were when you were abused. And you may want to abuse them or there may just be a physical attraction. Or maybe there is both. But again, I'm not a professional so I don't know how to guide you here or what to ask to get a clearer picture.   The only other thing I can personally think of is that you go out with men your age who would be interested in you. See if anything sparks and see if you're honesty maturing late, reliving past trauma, sexually attached to said trauma or even genuinely attracted to younger boys.   Regardless, I think a professional is best to seek in this case.   I'm not trying to attack you or make you feel bad. You having these thoughts isn't in any way your fault, and it sounds like you've been through a lot. But you need to look into the help you can seek in your country/state/town etc. There has to be something out there somewhere. Or even a counseling app, online sessions, help lines can even redirect you to the right places and there are anonymous ones out there.",0.9458,positive,trusting
469,MentalHealthSupport,I’m 18 and I like a 14 year old boy,speaker,7,Thank you this helps a lot. I’ll try my best there is no way I would ever act on these thoughts and i will try to get help as soon as possible. Thanks.,0.9136,positive,sympathizing
470,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to get the words out,speaker,1,I wrote a post before.. then I deleted it. I just don’t know how to speak on my feelings because they’re so weird. So confusing .,-0.6202,negative,sentimental
470,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to get the words out,listener_1,2,Fire away. Weird is normal here.  Don't worry about trying to make sense. Just get it down and we can ask questions as needed. Deal?,-0.1764,negative,questioning
470,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to get the words out,speaker,3,"Thank you, I like this. I might make another post",0.6124,positive,joyful
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,1,"I’m not sure who it was.. but they kinda set me off to write this. Well, I don’t really know where to begin. It’s years upon years of crazy shit. I don’t know how I’m supposed to control how I feel at all if I wake up feeling one way then weeks later I feel another. It’s like a constant demon in my mind that can’t let me really feel the truth. Sometimes, I don’t believe what happens in my head is real. Sometimes I have this little voice and it tells me amazing things about me. Other times it’s terrible. I don’t know how to escape my head and I’m not sure how to get help because I’m a minor, I have parents that don’t care at all. I don’t even live with them. My whole situation is just kinda fucked. I’m drunk too right now. I’m kinda on the edge. I’m stuck",-0.1106,negative,terrified
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,listener_1,2,is there anybody at school that you trust that could help you get the help you deserve? i’m 20 now and i’ve experienced a similar situation for years and it really can get better if you try hard enough. but you’ll need help from others. someone you can trust to get you help.,0.9537,positive,neutral
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,3,"I dropped out when I was in 8th grade, at this point I feel like I should just go to the hospital and tell them I feel I’m a danger to myself. But.. the thing about that is that when you’re aware of your problems people take it as less then it really is. I’ve tried all I can. I have a best friend/sister I live with now and she’s amazing and helps me with a lot but she just don’t understand and she keeps telling me everyone goes through the same thing.",0.9081,positive,grateful
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,listener_2,4,"Nah mate, this is way more than ""everybody feels down sometimes"". This is serious.  I wouldn't normally advocate this, but I understand where you're coming from with ""they won't listen if I say I'm a danger to myself""... maybe you need to do something that will catch their attention. You're already drunk, so maybe go somewhere like a pub or something and act irrational.  As I said, I wouldn't normally advocate this, but you need help and it's the only way I can think of to get it.",-0.6542,negative,suggesting
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,listener_1,5,"I can entirely relate. medical professionals have looked down on me in the past for being aware of my mental illnesses. but I strongly urge you to go to the hospital and tell them you are a danger to yourself. the emergency room does not take that lightly, and they will get you help. I haven’t personally been able to get myself to ever do that, but my best friend has and it has saved her life on a couple occasions. now she and I live together and she is happier and healthier than I’ve ever seen her and those visits to the hospital changed her life",0.9477,positive,agreeing
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,6,Thank you so much for even giving a little bit of attention 😕 weirdly gives me some hope. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go. I can’t sit here like this I’m falling apart day by day,0.8658,positive,hopeful
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,listener_1,7,"I’m so glad I could give you that little bit. I really hope you do, and feel better. It’s such a rough journey, a different kind of difficult. But you got this, I promise you do",0.7389,positive,grateful
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,8,"And I’ve been through cps, courts and all of that. They DO NOT CARE. My entire life I’ve been signed to cps for educational neglect and the state has just given up on my whole family at this point",-0.7328,negative,devastated
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,9,"As I said I’m the other comment, I dropped out when I was in 8th grade. I live with my bestfriend/sister and she’s great but she just doesn’t understand and she has her own things, ya know? And yes I would say there’s forms of neglect simply because my parents don’t do a single thing to help me not physically, mentally, or morally. Lately I’ve been taking my feelings upon myself and I know I’m going th wrong way, I’ve been drinking, “experimenting” with other drugs and I know it’s wrong but at the time and place it’s hard to say no. It’s hard to control myself when I don’t know how I’m gonna feel in the next hour",-0.705,negative,ashamed
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,listener_2,10,"That's what I'm worried about. You seem like a really nice, albeit troubled, teen. You've been really polite in how you speak to people, which suggests that you're actually aware of how you speak to people, and you've been dealt a really shitty hand with nobody to show you how to make it work.  It stands to reason that you're starting to make unhealthy choices, but you're worth protecting. You're worth the help.  You're in pain and you're trying to make it stop.",-0.0368,neutral,trusting
471,MentalHealthSupport,Need answers?,speaker,11,"I mean , it’s an idea. Kind of a good one",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
472,MentalHealthSupport,I messed around with a 22 yr old at 15 and fucked up my life,speaker,1,"Super super long post, so so sorry in advance- TL:DR at the end  I was 15 when this all started, im 16 now and still deal with this everyday. Back when I still had snapchat (i've since deleted all social media) someone i didnt know added me via username. I added him back thinking we had mutual friends and he instantly started snapping me. I told him i was 16 and he told me he was 19, and as i expected this would be the kind of thing where we snap a few times and then i block him, i didnt think much of it. But this guy was HOT. One of the most attractive men id ever seen, let alone had given me attention. Being a freshman at the time i had just began experimenting on the fine line between being flirty and being slutty and i pretended to be drunk while snapping him the first night. Why? I have no clue, but i did. He took that as the perfect opportunity to ask me for nudes. I was only 15 but I get told almost daily I look more like 23 and have fairly large breasts compared to the rest of my body. I felt uncomfortable sending full nudes but decided to LiVe A lItTle and sent pictures of my cleavage. I didn't think too much of that and we kept snapping here and there afterwards, and then one day he asked me to hang out. I was shocked because at this point I couldn't believe he was still interested in me, especially since he was a college freshman. After discussing it with a coworker, she told me i should go for it as long as i came clean abt my age. As i typed, ""I would love to but im not sure if you would want to after I tell you this"" i got a message that said almost the same thing at the same time. He admitted he had also been lying about his age, and after i told him i was 15, he told me he was 21. He said he lied to be younger because he thought thats what I was doing (I really do look about 23) Now, I know everything ive done thus far has been dumb, but i just get dumber as the story goes on. I was dealing with some other stuff around this time and was trying to see if i could fix my problems by throwing myself at guys and being the party girl you see in the movies. So with the 'hot-mess' mindset that I had, I evaluated the situation and said, worst case, he'll get in trouble, not me, so I shared my location with my best friend and still agreed to hang out with him later that night. He promised me it wouldn't be sexual at all, as I told him that I wasn't like how I made myself out to be the first time we talked, and we would just get ice cream. I got ready and then got a text from him telling me he had to reschedule. I was entirely relieved but still tried to tell myself I was disappointed. We face timed for the first time that night and talked for a while and I could feel myself starting to get pulled deeper into this hole that was him. It turned out he grew up in the town that my entire family is from, but we still don't know who our mutual friends are or how he found my snapchat in the first place. I was beginning to be head over heels for this guy so I didn't question it. Things carry on like this for a few weeks, us snapping and texting and facetiming, until one day I started thinking about how creepy it all was. My friends all told me I had to stop talking to him, but they didn't know how funny or sweet or attractive he was or how he had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. But I knew they were right and I blocked him out of the blue because I had to get him out of my life before it got weirder than it already was. Oh god how I wish I had kept it that way. I had withdrawls often, and wanted to talk to him so bad. I kept him blocked and didn't act on anything for months, until one day I figured everything had settled down and he had for sure forgotten about me, so I unblocked him but didn't snap him. I figured this would make it easier for me because I wouldn't feel like I COULDN'T snap him, but I knew I wasn't going to. A few months after this, a new account adds me on snapchat with a similar username. I add them back out of curiosity, and sure enough, it was him. After telling me he had missed me and me making up some bs story abt how my cousin found out and made me block him until she left for school, we went back to how we used to be, facetiming and texting and what not. Here is where we get to why I'm posting on a mental health sub. One day he facetimes me and im in the shower so i dont answer. I texted him after, ""hey sorry I was in the shower, whats up?"" LIKE A DUMBASS and of course he sent back ""facetime me, I miss you"" ""no your parents wont hear us"" ""close the door we'll be quite"" ""please it will be quick"" to all of my excuses why I couldn't. But he had me wrapped around his finger and he knew it. I facetimed him fresh out of the shower and you can guess exactly what happened. I had never done anything like that. The most revealing thing Id ever sent a guy was a cleavage pic that I justified by saying it was just as revealing as a swimsuit. Part of me hated it. Most of me hated it honestly, but the other part of me LOVED the attention. This man was one of the most attractive men I'de ever seen and he'd come back even after he knew he was breaking the law, and he wanted ME (I know now this is a completely ludicrous and fucked up way of thinking, but he had me wrapped around his finger) After he hung up I felt sick to my stomach, but in my head it was okay because at this point we were practically dating (I know we weren't but I didn't understand any of this and that was what made the most sense to me at the time) and so it didn't really seem that awful to me? Idk why but it didn't. The next morning I woke up all bubbly, thinking about this boy and how we would go on dates and have sex in his dorm and he'd take me to bars and id have this older totally hot boyfriend. I was wrong if you haven't guessed by now. I was expecting some sort of good morning text that morning since he normally sent one. After around 11 am when I still hadn't received anything I decided to send one to him. I don't remember now how I found out, but somehow I discovered that at some point between now and the actions of last night, he had blocked me on every platform. My stomach dropped and I instantly remembered, what seemed like nothing at all at the time was actually something major. While we were facetiming he kept accidentally pausing. Those of you who dont know, facetime automatically pauses when you go to the home screen. you get to the home screen by hitting the home button. you screen shot by hitting the home and power button, and sometimes when you dont hit them at the same time, you go to the home screen instead of taking a screen shot. which means he had been taking screen shots the entire time. he had my nudes on his phone. my underage nudes. I almost threw up. I told my best friend what happened as she was in class with me, but after that I dont remember much of the day. I was in shock and all i remember was feeling like throwing up the entire day. This is part two of me being a dumbass. I couldn't take it anymore, and i have a friend who is a stoner and i knew had his wax pen on him. I told him to meet me in the bathroom at the end of the day and i got high out of my mind to try and numb the pain. it worked a little i think. my best friends got mad that i used pot to cope, and i was mad at myself too but i didn't have anything else to do, id never felt so disgusted with myself in my life. again, i dont remember how the rest of the day went, or that week really, but after that I was very depressed. Unlike I had ever been before. I've dealt with my share of mental health problems, but i never felt such strong worthlessness and dirtiness and hatred toward myself. I was stuck in this hole that i couldn't get out of. I started drinking and smoking to cope. I drank most weekends and took a shot or two every few nights. One night my cousin came over and I stole a cigarette out of her bag. I hadn't smoked a cigarette before but the smell was always calming to me, and that night, even though I was fighting an oncoming cold, I smoked my first cigarette. It had the same affect as whiskey, but it was instant and i loved it. Until I got bronchitis, just from that one cigarette. That spewed into a bunch of other medical issues and i ended up being bed ridden for a month. This gave me time to sort through my thoughts and I came out better. I wasn't depressed over this boy anymore and had figured out a bunch of other things in my life. Everything was generally fine, I thought about him in the back of my mind often but didn't fully engage those thoughts regularly, if i did i would feel like shit again but would feel better after a day or two. It hasn't been an issue and i've been going about my life fine like that, until recently. I think something about the fact that its coming up on a year since it happened that im feeling everything again, but ive suddenly been thinking about him again, not in a ""i want you back way"" i never want to see his face again i hate him with everything in me, but the way that i felt about that and the self hatred and feeling like i have to rely on men and all those things are coming up and im not sure why and im not sure exactly what to do. I have a therapist and I've talked to her about it vaguely in the past but its such an intimate and embarrassing thing that I feel uncomfortable truly talking about it with her. What should I do?  Edit: I later found out that he was lying about his age the entire time and he was actually 22, not 21 or 19.  TL:DR; I got involved with a 22 year old when I was 15 and facetimed him after the shower (you can imagine what happened) and that sent me spiraling down a hole of losing my self worth that im still battling a year after it happened, not sure how to overcome this?",-0.9373,negative,embarrassed
472,MentalHealthSupport,I messed around with a 22 yr old at 15 and fucked up my life,listener_1,2,"Long story short, he was a predator who groomed you for his own gratification and it is not your fault. You were a minor (still are) and he took advantage of you sexually.  These predators know what they're doing and they're bloody good at making you feel responsible for ""wanting it"", but that's a lie.  Do you have any traceable details on him? Photos? Anything? Because what he fid is criminal (it's called kitty porn) and the police will be VERY interested.",0.6816,positive,guilty
472,MentalHealthSupport,I messed around with a 22 yr old at 15 and fucked up my life,speaker,3,yes quite a few but if i did anything legally my parents would find out and id rather die than have that happen,-0.5994,negative,neutral
472,MentalHealthSupport,I messed around with a 22 yr old at 15 and fucked up my life,listener_1,4,"Hon, I know this is going to suck, but I think you need to tell your parents what happened.  He's likely done it to others before you, and will do it to others in the future.  This is NOT your fault. Teens have a strong sex drive and fantasise about sexual relationships, often with adults. That is normal, very few don't have a fascination with sex and sexuality and a hell of a lot will go with an adult if the opportunity presents itself. The reason it doesn't happen more often is that most adults have a moral line and know that minors are off limits. Very few will even find a minor attractive for this reason, and those that do won't act on it.  The onus is on the adult. He thought you were older? Sweet. But he should have backed off when you revealed your age, and he didn't. He deliberately manipulated you and preyed on you.  You are NOT at fault.",0.9171,positive,faithful
472,MentalHealthSupport,I messed around with a 22 yr old at 15 and fucked up my life,speaker,5,"wow you have no idea how much better i feel knowing i’m not the only one who went through this. i don’t so much fear he posted the video bc i am a minor and he’d have to be super dumb to do that, but i do fear that they got around his college campus. i feel like we both had the same experiences from the point they hung up, it really is nice to not feel so alone, thank you for sharing your story, and i’m sorry you had to go through that.",0.8111,positive,neutral
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,speaker,1,"I don't know how I'm going to organize my story and where to start but I will just lay everything I feel down because I do not know any other way to vent out my thoughts since I have have nobody to listen to me. I am not trying to ask for help but if I can have any advice I will take it I just want to spill out my thoughts in face value. I am sorry if there is something wrong with my grammar.  Since I was born I have been kept inside the house for almost everyday if I am not in school, I have always been picked up by my dad from and to school. I rarely go out of our home and I do I would always ask permission from my parents and I rarely get their approval since they always ask me who I will be with and where we are going and how we are going there and most of the time they ask for their cellphone or telephone numbers before they allow me to.  Every time that I get into trouble I would always find myself in a position where my parents are there to defend me they are really nice people they always want the best for me. Though, sometimes I think that it is getting a little out of hand. Every transaction that I make, they must know, so I rarely buy clothes because I think that it will cost them more money since my mother always insists that she would pay for anything I buy which makes me feel very cautious of everything I buy, which sometimes force me hide when I buy something because I do not want them to raise a 19 year old man that does not know how to live independently.  I dont know I just feel like I am a waste of their time and money since my dad is always busy and does not like me going outside the house and my mother would always want me to stay in their care, I dont know how I am going to explain everything there is just toomuch to say and I dont know how to explain myself since I do not have much friends and I always resist socializing and the last time I tried to open up to some friends they get annoyed and I dont want to disturb them but I do not know how to handle everything on my own and I always have a hard time telling everything to by parents because just like awhile ago I offended my mother by telling her that I feel like I am rotting away in our house and I am a 19 year old man that is always kept inside when I got in a trip with my friends I had to lie about certain details because I feel like they will over react and unallow me to go to the trip. I dont want to offend my parents but I also feel like what they are doing is also slowly killing me. I told my mom that I want to get a dorm with my friend since he is also getting a dorm and she wont allow because she said that I should cherrish the moment that I am still with them which I do understand but my schedule allows me to get home very late since every tuesday I get dismissed on 6pm. She told me that my father will pick me up every day so it wont be hard for me but before getting picked up I must take a train since we live far from my university. But the real thing why I want to get a dorm is because I want to live far from them I feel like I will be able to grow better without them though I appreciate everything that they are doing but I feel like it is too much that it makes me feel like I am worthless I feel like I am less of a man or a person. I do not know if I am right or wrong all I know is that I am not happy with my situation and I want to change that but I do not know how.",0.9886,positive,content
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,listener_1,2,"Your post is my life. I can’t offer you much help, but if you need a friend to talk to, I’m here",0.7311,positive,caring
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, it feels very conforting to know that I'm not alone",0.5007,positive,acknowledging
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,listener_1,4,And you’re not overreacting. It’s completely normal for you to feel the way you are right now.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,speaker,5,I wish my parents would look at it that way,0.4019,positive,annoyed
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,listener_1,6,Well my parents reacted exactly like yours did...so I understand how you feel even if I don’t know how to articulate it,0.5574,positive,agreeing
473,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I'm Rotting Away,speaker,7,I am hoping that time would tell,0.4215,positive,hopeful
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,speaker,1,"Hey, I feel like I need a psychiatrist or a psychologist to help with my mental health. I live in Delhi, India. I can't ask my parents. Please help.",0.8481,positive,hopeful
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,listener_1,2,"I can't help you, as I'm at the other side of the world (The Netherlands). But if you want to talk, or want some advice... A good conversation or anything, let me know!",0.6611,positive,sympathizing
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,speaker,3,"Thanks a lot !  Here's one advice I want, which skill can I develop sitting at my home ?",0.5411,positive,wishing
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,listener_1,4,"Your creativity. And selfreflection :) I have been ill 2 times for 2,5 years total, sitting my home. Either being sick or getting better. When you're bored af, you learn alot about yourself. You will also learn to entertain yourself, and to accept the situation as it is (which is that you're sitting at home for whatever reason). You will also probably eventually find something (creative?) to do, in which you van develop yourself tremendously because you'll have the time.  The time sitting alone at home has helped me alot, although I must admit it is hard to ever fully come back from... Given the actual pace and speed of daily life, especially in 2019.  I wouldn't have missed it for the world though. I learned so much, and so much about my own self value.   Goodluck!",0.8773,positive,grateful
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,speaker,5,Thanks matey ! Please recommend any other skill too 😊,0.9184,positive,agreeing
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,speaker,6,Thank you great soul.,0.765,positive,wishing
474,MentalHealthSupport,I need a doctor,listener_2,7,You’re welcome. I hope it helps! 💗,0.9286,positive,consoling
475,MentalHealthSupport,Does anybody have a self-help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy resource? (read desc),speaker,1,"Hello! Throwaway.  I have issues with jealousy of the non-‘i think my SO is cheating on me’-type.  The biggest example right now is that I’m jealous of my girlfriend for being so great. She’s funny and likeable and weird and is going to a good college and is looking forward to her life and so on. On bad days, I get so jealous of those things that I can’t stand it!  It’s not even rational. I’m all of those things I listed too. I get jealous of her for having traits that she doesn’t even super have, that I have and like about me!  One if the worst things is that I can’t stand the idea of being jealous of her. It feels like I’m losing, and I hate it!  Besides her, I get too jealous of children. I’m 18 (young) and I get too jealous of how young children are to be comfortable around them. As I am now, I can’t have kids.   There are a bunch of other examples, but I don’t need to bore you.  Anyway this is some type of personality disorder and it’ll be a little while before I can get therapy, so I’m looking into trying to cognitive behavioral therapy myself. Do you guys have any resources which sound like they’d apply to me?  Some things: - I don’t have anxiety or depression. - I don’t have trust issues: I absolutely do not worry that my gf will cheat on me. This isn’t that type of jealousy. I’ve gotten this with my brother too, for example. - My girlfriend knows about it and we talk about it all the time. She’s got issues of her own, and we accommodate each other. This isn’t an issue with our relationship in particular: this happens with everyone who I think is wonderful.  Help me! This sucks! At its worst, her happiness itself makes me unhappy, and I don’t like that!",-0.8993,negative,jealous
475,MentalHealthSupport,Does anybody have a self-help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy resource? (read desc),listener_1,2,As I mental health professional I would encourage you to work with a therapist if we're interested in getting the most out of CBT. There are certainly some things you can do on your own. I'd suggest a CBT workbook. It sounds like you m ok ght benefit from building your self-concept a little. You say you're jealous of their accompliments. Isn't being able to have people you find impressed by something impressive on its own? What are the things about you that made that happen. Is it possible you're giving them too much credit in some areas or too little credit to yourself. You may also find SFBT techniques helpful as well. Good luck!,0.9871,positive,jealous
475,MentalHealthSupport,Does anybody have a self-help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy resource? (read desc),speaker,3,"Alright, thank you!  (1) What is a self-concept?  (2) I’m totally aware that my jealousy isn’t rational: I know which traits I admire and have been working towards them for years, so usually when I’m jealous of someone for something, I already have that thing to a similar or greater degree than them. This is part of why this concerns me so much: the jealousy just doesn’t make rational sense.  (3) Do you know where I can find a good CBT workbook? Do you have search terms to help me find one relevant to my issue (most recourses I find are for anxiety).  Thank you!",0.8618,positive,jealous
475,MentalHealthSupport,Does anybody have a self-help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy resource? (read desc),listener_1,4,"It's hard to say where this jealousy isncokong from just from the info you posted - maybe family of origin, maybe poor self-concept, maybe something else. Best way to know for certain if you're unsure is to work through it with someone who has proper training - an LPC or psychologist. I'm going to post a couple links below - including a workbook. Check them out and fell free to pm me if you have questions.   https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-concept.html   https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/jealousy  Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936128020/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_UYJpDbJ76NZTM  The CBT Toolbox: A Workbook for Clients and Clinicians https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936128306/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_gZJpDbT14R7VJ",0.3559,positive,suggesting
475,MentalHealthSupport,Does anybody have a self-help Cognitive Behavioral Therapy resource? (read desc),speaker,5,"I read that second link: this is definitely mostly envy. I get a _bit_ jealous of her (say, for example if she can’t talk to me right now) if I’m already in an envious mood, which I think is caused by the feeling of inferiority, but it’s not at all to a concerning degree.  The root of the issue is envy, and there’s a bit of associated jealousy but it’s no big deal.  I’m poking around for the books, thanks!",-0.75,negative,jealous
476,MentalHealthSupport,An uphill battle. I need advice on what to do next.,speaker,1,"Hi everyone,   This is my spare account because I domt want anyone seeing this as on the surface I am a level headed individual whose got her shit together.   Well I dont. I dont know if i should go into a full length story about why i am the way i am but if anyone wants to hear it I'd be happy to post about it.   Recently, my life has been going really well! Jobs going well, loving boyfriend, plenty of friends and my family bonds are stronger than ever.   And yet...  I'm thinking about hurting myself quite alot. I'm using self destructive habits to soothe myself because I hate feeling like this, I use cigarettes to soothe myself at night and I've never been interested in smoking before.   I guess I'm just asking for some reassurance and advice that I'm not crazy or that there are things I can do to get better   Thanks,  Em",0.984,positive,content
476,MentalHealthSupport,An uphill battle. I need advice on what to do next.,listener_1,2,"Honestly, the best way to get better is to see a professional. See a therapist, they can help you through this. Talk to people you really trust, they'll help you too. I know it can be difficult, but if you tell them, they'll help you",0.9096,positive,trusting
476,MentalHealthSupport,An uphill battle. I need advice on what to do next.,speaker,3,"Thank you, I did therapy for 18 months until I turned 18 and then I was deemed cured and sent on my merry way with a packet of pills.   I did speak to a therapist about some deeper stuff than mentioned in this post but they never really addressed it so I should probably get my ass on the waiting list for a psychiatrist.",-0.4118,negative,content
476,MentalHealthSupport,An uphill battle. I need advice on what to do next.,listener_1,4,That's a good idea. Maybe you can also see a different therapist. I'm sure you'll find one that really does want to help you,0.8166,positive,suggesting
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,1,I feeling empty everyday its making me crazy idk what i can do about it.  Have somebody advice for me? I feeling so lost just help me..,-0.3874,negative,lonely
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,2,"I feel the same, because of various reasons. But starting this month I trided working out, fixing my bed every morning and started reading a book, and waking up the same time every morning.  Working out specifically heavy weight lifting if you are a male will boost your testosterone levels (i dont know about women).  Fixing your bed at the same time every morning will make you feel like you have acomplished something to start off your day.  Waking up the same time every morning will make you feel like you are on track and you are in control of your life.  I read a book because I have a hard time communicating and I feel that reading a book will help me articulate and control my emptions, it also helps me meditate.  I know I am not the best person to give advices but if it made me feel better for a little while I think it is worth sharing. Just try to keep on track and do not give up.",0.9672,positive,confident
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,3,Yep doing all that stuff what you Said still not working..  and sport is not always working.. so stop giving that advice..,0.2528,positive,agreeing
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,4,"My bad if it offends you in any way, try learning more about something that you are passionate about if any?",-0.4767,negative,sympathizing
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,5,Trying my best but it’s just not working it’s making me crazy,-0.128,negative,disappointed
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,6,How long have you been trying if I may ask?,0.0,neutral,questioning
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,7,Few months :),0.4588,positive,excited
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,8,Do you have a job? Are you currently studying? It can help give you a purpose,0.4696,positive,questioning
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,9,I have a job :) I work 3 days,0.4588,positive,content
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,10,And you are always left unoccupied when not working? Maybe that is why?,0.0,neutral,questioning
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,11,No it’s just weird after my suicide attempt I was feeling empty before my attempt I didn’t feel empty,-0.8591,negative,lonely
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,12,Do you have a goal?,0.0,neutral,questioning
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,13,Just wanne bead my depression thats it then i wanne learn more stuff,-0.5719,negative,consoling
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,14,Are you a male or a female?,0.0,neutral,questioning
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,15,Mala,0.0,neutral,angry
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,16,Try listening to Jordan Peterson,0.0,neutral,impressed
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,17,Already did😅,0.3612,positive,neutral
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,18,"I may not have the answer for you then, I am only speaking based on my experience and I do not want to speak of anything out of my reach, but the only thing I know is if you acknowledge that you are depressed and you want to stop being depressed and you have the mindset to get through it try your best because you will have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you've already hit rock bottom.",0.4545,positive,agreeing
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,19,Really trying my best but i cant annymore,0.4082,positive,disappointed
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,listener_1,20,Try more I dont know any other way sorry maybe someone else can help you,0.34,positive,sympathizing
477,MentalHealthSupport,Empty feelings,speaker,21,Next month the 20ste I getting help I waited 5 months for help :)  they did nothing about my suicide attempt,0.8999,positive,furious
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,1,"I don't want to be anywhere, i just want to be gone. i'm tired of watching my every step so i don't upset anyone. i'm tired of bottling my feelings so i'm not a burden to anyone. i'm tired of pretending i'm okay. everyone gets mad at me every time i do something, i ruin a lot of things bc i'm sad. i just feel my friends and family would be better off without me. i know they love me, i know it would break their hearts for me to commit suicide, but i'm tired of it all. i pray that i'll get an illness or disease that will kill me or that i'll be in a fatal accident or something. not a day goes by that i don't think about death. i don't know who to talk to, my mum knows but i told her the beginning of this year and nothing else has been said, i don't want to bring it up again bc i know she's currently going through a lot of stress and i don't want to add to that.  recently there was this boy from a local school who unfortunately died and i know it's wrong of me but i wished it was me. i find myself always wishing that i was a person on the news who died. so many lives that wanted to continue and were wiped away in a matter of seconds. wouldn't it make more sense for me who doesn't want to live to die?  idk this probably doesn't make sense but nowadays nothing does. thanks for reading this even though i doubt any one has.",-0.9943,negative,guilty
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,listener_1,2,"I know that feeling all to well. You're not alone, and you're not a burden. I'm sorry you're going through this <3",0.6647,positive,agreeing
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,3,<3,0.0,neutral,neutral
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,4,i hope so. <3,0.4404,positive,encouraging
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,5,"the list sounds like a good idea and i'll endeavour to do it as often as i can. and i'll try to talk to a trustworthy friend or teacher when i feel comfortable, thank you. <3",0.9517,positive,acknowledging
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,6,i'll aim to give it a go. thank you. <3,0.3612,positive,wishing
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,7,i appreciate you telling your story. i'm so sorry you had to go through that and that you still are. thank you for allowing me to talk to you. it's good to know that i'm not alone although we may not have been through the same experiences. i'll try to message you when i need to vent and you can always message me as well. thank you. <3,0.8933,positive,sympathizing
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,listener_2,8,That’s great. I really think the list can help vent some of those deep feelings. I also like to read encouraging quotes from Pinterest. It takes time and work to get better but your worth it! Invest in yourself ❤️,0.8733,positive,acknowledging
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,listener_3,9,You’re welcome. I hope it helps! 💗,0.9286,positive,consoling
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,10,i live in the uk so i cant call that one but i'll try find another one. thank you. <3,0.5023,positive,neutral
478,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to be here anymore.,speaker,11,"i'll try messaging you soon, i'm sure we can help eachother. thank you",0.7579,positive,consoling
479,MentalHealthSupport,How do I call in sick with stress?,speaker,1,"The past few weeks my job has slowly overtaken my breathing space, and in doing so has adversely affected my mental health; relationship and activities I like to enjoy.  I need to call in sick, and have thought long and hard about it. How do I tell my employer this?",-0.2363,negative,apprehensive
479,MentalHealthSupport,How do I call in sick with stress?,listener_1,2,"Are mental health days allowed at work? I have a friend who when they're feeling how you are (just burnt, need a break, overworked, stressed, emotional...etc) they call in and take a ""mental health day.""",0.3182,positive,apprehensive
479,MentalHealthSupport,How do I call in sick with stress?,listener_2,3,That’s really good advice,0.4927,positive,acknowledging
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,speaker,1,right now im in the middle of paying my overdraft fees while in the middle of looking for apartment so i dont have money for even a mcdonald meal . I try mental health support group because i cant afford thearpy but i got bullied then i got banned to the group because of i was expressing how hurt i am . what do i fo because i barely have a penny to spend and im using someones wifi because i dont have money to pay my phone bill. I do have a full time job but im so behind on bills like what do i do because my mental health is in such a messed up state idk what to do anymore,-0.9473,negative,ashamed
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,listener_1,2,Have you tried another group where you didn't talk much about how much you're hurt?,-0.5267,negative,questioning
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,speaker,3,"Pardom me i was hurt because in was asking for advice for self esteem support. I was asking how do i move on when i get constantly rejected then she claimed i was attetion seeking even though i wasnt posting any selfie or anything and clearly asking question like this ""how do you deal with getting rejected so many time"" so she use a bunch of sexiest insults on me and such. I did went off and curse her off because with my bad mental state i actually lost then after i got banned from the group.",-0.9531,negative,furious
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,listener_1,4,"Ohhh okay !!!! As per my view, these kind of support groups are better when we are out of pennies... So try another, may be that would work.",0.8113,positive,consoling
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,speaker,5,Alright sounds good thanks buddy =),0.875,positive,acknowledging
480,MentalHealthSupport,What to do if i cant afford mental helath support?,speaker,6,"Well only reason why my view is like that because I saw a video by a youtuber named faceandllms with a video named WAW1 red pill ( I’d say at least a little over 10 minutes if you don’t have time ) indicated that it doesn’t matter you approach , confidence , and game when it comes to attract women because he did an experiment on plenty of fish . I’m not really debating though just show you where I got my sources from . But I’ve already made some solutions and it has to do with the answers here which is calling multiple sources for affordable healthcare plus changing my budget too which is not eating out at all and cutting down unimportant expenses .  I do really appreciate the  advice thank you very much =) but I’m not trying to be  stubborn I promise I just like to do research and stuff for because I over analyze things it’s my nature",0.9532,positive,impressed
481,MentalHealthSupport,Met an amazing mom!!,speaker,1,"I have manic depression, or bi polar. Diagnosed seriously so long ago and have been (relatively) stable on the meds so long, that I’ve created a wonderful life. The whole married, house and kids thing. (I’m still crazy but everyone around me loves me, and I’m lucky like that) I work in finance/ banking, and met a woman recently who literally broke down at my desk when I asked about her grown children.  Her son was a graduate and living at home still because of a mental break a couple years prior, after college. He was diagnosed with quite a few things (I won’t name here, for anonymity). But she just broke. She told me everything, and how hard it was for her, and how she didn’t know how to give him the encouragement he needed to know he could live life anyways.  At first, I was being professional (I gave her a hug) and I just listened, but she kept going on and on about how she loved her son and saw so much potential in him, but the PEOPLE AT THE HOSPITAL TOLD HIM HE WOULD NEVER WORK OR LIVE A NORMAL LIFE! This infuriated me, and 10 seconds later he walks in. Seemingly normal young man, asked me for some coffee, and told his mom he was gonna head back to the car. I’m even madder now at the doctors.  So I end up closing my office door, and I told her quietly I had a mental illness, and I have a successful career, a family, because I decided not to let it define me. It’s like cancer, you didn’t choose it, and as long as you take your medicine and see your doctor, it can’t take your life. She bawled more,  Her son apparently had been recently put on the right medication, and was eager to start working again. I asked what he majored in- turns out it was the same major as my brother.  We talked more, and I told her she rocked as a mama because she tried to understand her sons Illness and help him instead of shaming him.   Long story short: I contacted my brother and asked if he needed any help where he was. They need help. Connected the two, and he will hopefully start working in his field soon. God is pretty good at connecting people.  Also, I can’t believe a doctor could be so dense.  We are people too. Mental illness sucks. I have good and bad days and all that in between.  But we are more than just the organ that isn’t working. And we are super capable to achieving great things.   If your great thing is you woke up this morning, and showered, that’s fucking awesome.  If your great thing is you got a job, fuck yeah!! If your great thing is you met someone you connected with, that’s fucking phenomenal!  I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t keep adding those great things up and trying to make a life.   Don’t give up. Life is super fucking worth it, even on the bad days.",0.9974,positive,caring
481,MentalHealthSupport,Met an amazing mom!!,listener_1,2,This is so nice. I saved this so I can look back on it one day. I'm so happy people in the world are waking up and helping each other through the shit we think is impossible to get through.,0.956,positive,grateful
481,MentalHealthSupport,Met an amazing mom!!,speaker,3,"I was so humbled by this woman’s honesty with a person she did not know(me). But I am grateful for it.  The more we talk about it, the less the stigma exists.  Human interaction is literally everything. I felt so broken, sitting there listening to her unload everything on me- then turn around and apologize for doing so.   I had to get up and hug her. She is probably one of the BEST moms I’ve ever met, because she tried to understand her sons mental illness before judging him, and I just.. I couldn’t not do something. SHE is a rockstar. So is her son.",0.8662,positive,trusting
482,MentalHealthSupport,Some help here....,speaker,1,"Hi! Im a 14 ""girl""(think Im trans) and I dont know what id happening with me.  I cant tell my friends anything personal, if i were going to cry, I couldnt tell em whats wrong. They are very close to me but I just....cant. I hate this, I wanna experiment with pronoms, but it is breaking me inside to tell them how I feel.  I always get surprised when people talk so open about themselves. Like, they tell me something like ""oh, sorry, i was crying"" or ""look over there! thats my crush""in front of like 20 people.   please give me some advice, i cant get out of here",-0.2642,negative,trusting
482,MentalHealthSupport,Some help here....,listener_1,2,"Okay, let's explore the trans possibility. Can you describe why you feel male? Not trying to validate or invalidate, just wanting to help you explore what you feel.",0.3591,positive,questioning
482,MentalHealthSupport,Some help here....,speaker,3,"Like, I dont feel comfortable with my assigmed pronoms and name. When someone talks to me and say ""Hi Natalia!"" I just crack inside. Also have discomfort with my female body...",-0.5096,negative,embarrassed
482,MentalHealthSupport,Some help here....,listener_1,4,Like they're talking to someone else but you have to answer?,0.1901,positive,questioning
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,speaker,1,Everytime I go out in public and meet a ton of new people and go out of my confort zone whether it be on my own or with my boyfriend...btw he's very outgoing and will talk to anyone with me and I don't mind that it's just the affect on me once I get home...I start crying and I curl up in a ball I don't feel like doing anything and I question everything in my life....what is wrong with me and how do I fix it?,-0.7019,negative,lonely
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_1,2,"Hey! Sounds like you are more introverted, and social situations exhaust you mentally. You should talk to a therapist and a psych about anxiety.  It’s not at all uncommon, and you can talk to them about coping skills, or medication. Good luck!",0.7256,positive,wishing
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,speaker,3,Yeah I definitely feel exhausted after thank you! The weird thing is I'm a singer and I don't get like this after performing,0.3361,positive,agreeing
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_1,4,"You are doing something for you in that moment, but socially circulating can take its toll.  Again, it’s pretty normal. I have it.  My husband is a social butterfly. He wants to have parties at our home all the time, and when I give in, and have to deal with everyone... it’s like chaos to me. I like each of the people we have over, but i get anxiety in a room full of people. I have to escape.... after I feel so exhausted and just, done. My husband doesn’t get it. But I know my limits, and I’ve talked to my therapist about coping skills. Sometimes it literally is escaping, going to the next room, and other times I have to limit my husband on the amount of people.   Anxiety is awful. But you should see a psych and therapist who can help you.",0.4094,positive,anxious
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,speaker,5,Thank you and side question your husband being a social butterfly hasn't affect your relationship right bc my boyfriend is the same way and I'm a bit worried it will,0.0772,positive,agreeing
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_1,6,"Nah. He is who he is, I am who I am. He gets that I don’t like to be as social as him, he likes to go out and have a good time, but it’s too exhausting for me.  Even when we have people over, I make sure everything is clean beforehand, and I help prepare food, socialize for a little while, then retreat to our room. He gets it. It’s a lot for me, but I don’t deprive him of the social interaction he likes because I’m not like that.   Communication is key. Simply saying “hey, I get mentally and emotionally exhausted being in a large social interaction. I don’t like to do it for long, but I’m willing to go with you.” Figure out a way that can work for y’all.  If there is a party, and you know he is gonna wanna stay longer than you will, take separate cars. If it’s something you really know you don’t wanna attend, let him know you’d rather stay home.   We’re married, and really invested. So it’s easier now than it used to be. But I still told him it was okay to go out without me when we were dating. I trust him, he just wanted to have his version of fun. I enjoy watching Netflix on the couch. He joins me for that too.   Don’t overthink it, and don’t make it seem like he HAS to be the one to give in all the time and stay home. You put yourself in social situations with him sometimes bc youcare about him, and he will and should stay home with you sometimes. If he cares for you, y’all will figure out a way to make it work. You just have to communicate it to him.",0.9902,positive,lonely
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,speaker,7,Ok thanks so much...yeah I definitely trust him..?But sometimes I do definitely enjoy getting out of my confort zone that's one thing I really like about him....do you think it's unreasonable of me to ask him to take it a little slow with getting me out of my confort zone?,0.9608,positive,agreeing
483,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_1,8,"How old are you? How long have y’all been together?  Communication is key, if you want to spend more time between the two of you where you are comfortable, let him know. If he rejects that, he isn’t for you.   Gotta be with someone who is willing to bend as much as you do.",0.1926,positive,trusting
484,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Interviewing teens (and recent young adults) about mental health and art therapy,speaker,1,y y'all I am a teen looking for teens to interview on the topic of mental health and/or art therapy. I am doing this to work towards the goal of a girl scout gold award.  If you dont want to interview I am also looking for mental health professionals and leaders who work with/for teens if you have any connections to any one like that their contact info would be greatly appriciated  Comment below if youd be interested I'll be editing with more info if need be  And if you have questions about my project don't hesitate to ask in the comments,0.8516,positive,acknowledging
484,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Interviewing teens (and recent young adults) about mental health and art therapy,listener_1,2,"I am interested, as long as I can keep my identity",0.4019,positive,trusting
484,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Interviewing teens (and recent young adults) about mental health and art therapy,speaker,3,Yes you can all I really need is your name or some abbreviation of it and last or middle initial just for my filing purposes I'll pm you for more info,0.4019,positive,acknowledging
484,MentalHealthSupport,I'm Interviewing teens (and recent young adults) about mental health and art therapy,speaker,4,I'm gonna pm u more info,0.0,neutral,excited
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,speaker,1,"My sister had bpd and it’s is a constant struggle. My sister is very jealous of me so, she takes all of her anger out on me. This has affected me so much. My sister has told me to kill myself, nobody likes me, I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m disgusting, I’m selfish, etc. I know she doesn’t mean it but at some point is she has to become responsible. My parents keep telling me that it’s her mental Illness and to just ignore it but after a while I can’t ignore it. Back in May my sister went to a mental rehab to get some help. She came back after a month and nothing has changed. She is still aggressive and mean and nasty. She is supposed to still do treatment but nothing is happening. I don’t know what to do. Please help.",-0.9398,negative,angry
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,listener_1,2,"Hi! I’m sorry to hear about your sister, I was recently diagnosed with bpd and am really working on not taking my anger out towards my sisters (I have two younger and one older). One thing I can say, which I hope can help you understand your sister a little better is that bpd in my case has caused me to not have control when it comes to my anger. It’s always 0 to 100 for me, for everything. All the time. And I’m not proud to admit I have called my sisters some nasty things while I’ve had a flash of rage. People with bpd have problems with emotional regulation. That can turn some of us into emotional pressure cookers. We’re fine for a bit then all of a sudden... BOOM! I was talking to my older sister who I’m quite close too and has seen many of my bpd episodes. She started to write me little notes or letters when ever I’m having a really bad bpd moment, it could be because I can’t find my phone or someone left my bedroom door open and I freak out calling my little sisters every name in the book! A little later when i have been able to regulate my anger she comes in with a little slip of paper that can look like this:  “I love you, but when you yell at me when your angry it makes me sad and frustrated because I don’t know how to help you. But I still love you”   This way you are addressing your feelings and letting her acknowledge your feelings. I’m not sure how close you and your sister are but I just want to say that it’s awesome that you are reaching out for help when it comes to her mental illness. Knowing my sister cares about me and my mental illness has helped me keep my bpd in check because I know how she feels when I burst with anger. Also there is a amazing book called “BPD Demystified” which has been so eye opening not just for me. Someone who lives it but I love hearing the people close to me understand and make a effort to helping me cope. Bpd is truly a monster and It can the people we love look like monsters. I hope this helps! If you have any specific questions you’d like to ask. Good Luck",0.9921,positive,guilty
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,speaker,3,"Thank you so much it means a lot! Bpd is definitely a horrible illness and I’m so sorry you have to go through it. I love my sister so much and we are close but I’m afraid her illness may have drifted us apart. There has been a huge struggle for her to find the right therapist and therapy and who can take her, who won’t except our insurance it’s not easy. I know she trying and I know she doesn’t mean it and she can’t help it I just  wish there was something we can do it seems like nothing is working. Idk it’s a tough thing to go through",0.6604,positive,sympathizing
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,listener_1,4,"That fact that you love her let’s me know she’s going to be ok, also therapy is vital and is crazy to me that it’s so not acceptable for people with mental illnesses to access when they need it. One thing that helped me was group therapy, I assumed you are from America and healthcare works a lot differently than other places (I’m Canadian). My psychologist was the one that set me up with group therapy and also helped me find a really good therapist. It’s going  to be a long process but you sound determined to help your sister and that make my heart happy!",0.9669,positive,grateful
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,speaker,5,It’s disgusting how hard it is to find therapy here. I plan to go to college for psychology to help people like my sister find therapy that will take them and that’s affordable. My sister has tried group therapy before but she feels she doesn’t need it because it’s for “crazy” people.,0.0516,positive,disgusted
485,MentalHealthSupport,My sister has borderline personality disorder,speaker,6,"She’s done DBT before I’m not sure if she is continuing it because, she got out of rehab in June and she hasn’t been in therapy since. She certainly needs to continue therapy but, the problem is she doesn’t want to do certain therapies because she thinks that it’s for “crazy” people.",-0.0595,negative,apprehensive
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,speaker,1,"Hey, 19m and been a US Marine since I graduated bootcamp last december. My unit has been deployed to japan for near 2 months now, and halfway through my first field op i let my sergeant know that i was thinking about killing myself. That in itself was a big thing for me, because ive never been one to talk to anyone about my problems, i just try to keep to myself and deal with my own issues. Ive thought about suicide several times before, and before i even joined, but this time i had felt so strongly about actually going through with it that i had to tell someone. Always been a weird kid, but i was never diagnosed with any kind of mental illness or disorder. My parents didnt really believe in that kind of institutionalized emotional help, and as i said, i never wanted to talk to anyone about it. Id get regular feelings that i was alone, and that im a horrible person and i shouldnt exist. During the op, i was sitting on a roadguard post for several hours doing nothing, which gave me too much time to think. A family member passed away very recently and i blamed myself for not visiting her when i had the chance. On top of that, i havent been able to perform very well at my job because i lack experience and physical ability and it just makes me hate myself more. Now im facing the decision of either leaving the Marine Corps with my tail between my legs or staying in and repeatedly facing the same environment that was pushing me over the edge. All i can think is that i dont want to be here, or anywhere. I just want everything to go away.",-0.9352,negative,ashamed
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,speaker,2,"Btw if you actually saw this and read through the whole thing, that means a lot to me. I have pretty much no sense of self importance.",0.5423,positive,impressed
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,listener_1,3,"Hi,   I read your whole post. For starters let me tell you how strong you are for expressing your emotions and thoughts. It shows so much about your character.  I understand guilt. I’m a 20 year old female paramedic and have seen countless people die so far over my 4 years in EMS, whether from their own stupidity or no reason at all. I had a very horrible call one time that made me question a lot of things. I had a history of difficult suicidal thoughts and had been working with my doctor at the time to tweak my antidepressants. I was using sex as therapy and started to self harm. I tried to kill myself twice via cutting and overdosing.   I went to the head of CISM (critical incident stress management) for my jurisdiction where I was diagnosed with the beginning of PTSD (mind you, I’m 18 at the time).  I was the type of person that sorted everything inside and didn’t talk about my emotions for fear of rejection. At the CISM head’s recommendation, I started opening up about my thoughts to my mom.    I’ve seen some fucked up shit from emotional to gruesome/gory. But I’ve realized that it takes a special kind of person to do some of the hardest jobs. Granted, I don’t know much about the military. But please, get out of that headspace. It’s not a good place to stay, trust me. There will be a point in your life where you’re so happy and grateful that you will look back and remember those thoughts and become so incredibly passionate for others in that same boat.   Right now, I have an amazing boyfriend and dog, moved out and started my first real adulting job. It wouldn’t have been possible if I caved into those impulses.   You’re strong. Keep pushing forward.",0.9532,positive,trusting
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,listener_2,4,"I read the whole thing.  I get the feeling of guilt, I felt that when great-grandma died. The thing is though, she's dead now and it no longer matters to her. I learned to let go of the regret and learn from it, so now I visit Grandpa whenever I can. We can't fix the past, we can only learn from it.  I don't know if that helps at all?",-0.8995,negative,sentimental
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,listener_3,5,"You are important. You are just 19. I know how much overwhelming the feeling of no self worth is. Small mistakes seems huge. Don't ever think that you are not worth it.   Also, I don't know much about US marine, but if you can and want to get out of there, then go ahead. Life is young.",-0.0685,negative,trusting
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,speaker,6,"Thank you for your kindness, but if i get out over this part of me feels terrible facing my friends and family afterward, like i failed at being something great and let my problems get the best of me",0.8873,positive,ashamed
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,speaker,7,"He was actually very understanding, i could tell he cared about my wellbeing. He immediately let the people know who needed to while still respecting my privacy and trying to give me some of his own advice",0.7184,positive,trusting
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,listener_4,8,That’s really good to hear. Is there counseling or something like it offered on base?,0.6901,positive,questioning
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,listener_5,9,There are a ton of services available through tricare. Go talk to psych. This whole thing could just be your hormones still stabilizing (since you’re so young),0.0,neutral,suggesting
486,MentalHealthSupport,Im a suicidal marine and i hate myself for not being ok,speaker,10,Thank you for taking time and sharing your story with me. Im glad that you got the help you needed.,0.875,positive,grateful
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,speaker,1,"I want to go to a Tyler, the Creator concert but my main concern is that since loud noises seem to be my trigger, I'll have a panic attack. I would invite someone but the idea of doing that is emotionally exhausting, however two people I know may be going. I really just want to have a good time and not make a scene, so does anyone have any advice?",-0.7255,negative,apprehensive
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,listener_1,2,"You can always bring some noise-canceling headphones or just some simple earplugs to muffle the sound. That does kind of defeat the purpose of being there for the music though. But still, it's always an option to help with the loud noises.  Also, if you feel like you are getting panicked, then I would step away where it's quieter just so your nervous system can take a breather from all the noise.  There are also breathing techniques you can do to calm yourself down in the moment and you can practice mindfulness as well.   If you need more tips on how to do this, let me know. Be happy to give you a walk-through.",0.8495,positive,acknowledging
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,speaker,3,What are some breathing techniques you know? I know a couple but I have a hard time doing most of them.,-0.1531,negative,questioning
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,listener_1,4,"There's three that I know of.   1. Breathe in at a count of three through your nose. Hold your breath for three seconds and then exhale through your mouth for a count of 3. Repeat. This is what most paramedics tell people to do and it's called circular breathing.  2. The one that I do that works for me is to breathe in at a count of 5 through your nose. DO NOT hold you breath and then exhale at a count of 5 through your mouth. You don't have to do it at a count of 5. The important thing is to try and match your breathing count on your inhale and exhale and breathe in and out SLOWLY.  3. The last one is alternate nostril breathing (aka Yoga breathing):  https://youtu.be/MCK1jBfRVsE  To practice mindfulness, you ground yourself in the present moment to let your body and brain know there is nothing to be scared of--That there is nothing to panic about.  When we start to panic, what's happening is our amygdala (the fight, flight, or freeze part of our brain) is getting triggered and it's telling you ""Hey, there's an emergency here! You're not safe!"" and because your brain can't tell that it's not life or death (like a gun to your head) your amygdala starts firing rapidly and causes you to panic. The goal of mindfulness and/or focusing on your breath is to tell your brain that everything is okay. It will then send a signal to your amygdala to chill out and there's nothing wrong.  So to calm your amygdala down and redirect your brain to a calm space, you focus on your breathing or do mindfulness or both. To practice mindfulness, you focus (and tell yourself) what's actually going on around you.  Let's say you're at the concert and you feel panic coming on, you can start to try one of the breathing techniques. Then you start focusing on what is actually going on and what's happening to your body. So you'd tell yourself ""I'm at a concert. It's loud and I find that upsetting, but I AM SAFE. My feet are on the ground. Can you feel your feet on the ground? Can you wiggle your toes? What can you smell? Maybe cigarettes, someone's perfume?"" Again you say ""I can smell the perfume of the woman next to me. I am safe. It's okay."" Then you focus on your body. Maybe you feel sweaty or a breeze. You focus on your arms and legs and feel the weight of them while telling yourself ""I'm alive. I'm safe. I'm standing right here on the concrete."" Then you put your hands on your heart and tell yourself ""See, my heart is beating. I'm okay. I'm safe."" You can also press your hands together or clench them in a fist and then release them, all the while focusing on the reality and physicality of your body. You feel your hands press together and really notice the palms and fingers touching. Or you clench your fists and and feel them tighten and then release them and shake them out. Again, telling yourself that you're okay and you're safe.  Just concentrate on grounding your body into the present moment, focus on your breathing and telling your brain that you're safe. That should redirect any impulses that are going to your amygdala and calm you down.  I hope this helps! :)",0.9958,positive,prepared
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,speaker,5,"Ah yeah it did, thank you",0.5719,positive,agreeing
487,MentalHealthSupport,Panic! At the concert,listener_1,6,You’re welcome. I’m glad it helped! :),0.8516,positive,sympathizing
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,speaker,1,"i don't personally think that my problem is super crippling, but i just want to see some recomendations.  ok, when i was a kid i was super cold? i don't know how to describe it, but getting emotions out of me was super hard. and i think that unconciously lead to me becoming easier to be dragged into compulsive manias (celphone and porn basically).  What was traumatizing was to discover that i don't really give a shit about both those things, when i got to the point of leading into extreme conditions of ""addiction"" i got to the point where i felt like doctor manhattan, just getting lead by subconscious decisions that i didn't even make.   it was amazingly easy to leave those tendencies for days (i eventually got back to it. Its not like those are not issues by themselves, that said, i feel they are not the root of the problem, that's just my brain searching for fulilling physical and mental activities for the day) but my concentration and will over my actions is weak and my brain finds multitude of ways of getting me distracted..  In this situation, what would you recommend. it makes my working on assingments really fucking hard, lowers my self steem, and its a vicious circle, meeting my life standarts is getting ridiculously hard.",-0.8495,negative,afraid
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,listener_1,2,"You might have ADHD I think, idk.  But you should REALLY go to a pyscholagist and get that checked out because I don't think NOT going to a pyscholagist is a good decision in this case.",0.5647,positive,apprehensive
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,speaker,3,That would be ideal but a bit expensive for me... i will have to talk with one of my friends majoring that career for suggestions haha.,0.8847,positive,acknowledging
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,speaker,4,Thanks... i think you hitted the nail with me trying to run away from uncomfortable scenarios... possible clues may be that i was sensible to cringy situations (like not playing much with other kids to much because i was self conscious enough to think how other people might see me) or that i always feared my parents. I will try to expose myself to new situations so that i can get used to expiriencing emotions faily and i will check that page when i have time,-0.3802,negative,acknowledging
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,listener_2,5,You're welcome. I hope you find something that works for you and helps you out. :),0.8885,positive,encouraging
488,MentalHealthSupport,help to have a normal life,listener_1,6,"Eh, still if he can help then that's just as good.",0.6808,positive,neutral
489,MentalHealthSupport,Overthinking,speaker,1,"When I get to be on my own in my room or somewhere with so much noise I start to over think and create some scenarios and conclusions in my head that tooking back most of the time don't make sense.  To keep from spilling these thoughts I just sit quietly and think and try to get away from people talking to me because based on my experience, they have no time to listen and I do not want to disturb anyone.  Small conversations linger in my head for weeks creating different thoughts thinking what they must feel about me, like how they are angry at me or they dislike me.",-0.068,negative,embarrassed
489,MentalHealthSupport,Overthinking,listener_1,2,"Um...I don't know where you read that men should be okay with being objectified and catcalled, but it's NOT okay. You're a human being and you do not have to put up with people touching you inappropriately, making comments to you/at you that make you uncomfortable...etc.     I don't know this girl or her personality, so I don't know if she's trying to be silly or just joking around, but no matter what her intent is, if it makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to tell her to stop. If she continues, it is harassment.",-0.8782,negative,angry
489,MentalHealthSupport,Overthinking,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
489,MentalHealthSupport,Overthinking,listener_1,4,You're welcome. :),0.7184,positive,wishing
489,MentalHealthSupport,Overthinking,speaker,5,"That's the problem I'm actually a college student and I'm 19 though you tip makes sense to me, I'm just having a hard time putting it in practice but thank you so much for shedding more light on a different perspective. I greatly greatly appreciate it, I came from an all male school thats why I am unsure. Thank you very very much",0.8104,positive,sympathizing
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,speaker,1,"I’ve created an app with the hope to help people improve their mental health. I’ve come up with a few possible names and would really appreciate any feedback on how you perceive them, so I created a poll using google forms where you can answer just a few multiple choice questions on what you think. Any input is appreciated! :)  The app is about helping the user towards a new way of handling distressing thoughts as to make the thoughts have less influence over them and their mood.   The form: https://forms.gle/k5srt1Frrj4kesLe8  If this breaks any rules of this sub, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find any when looking for them.",0.9616,positive,hopeful
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,listener_1,2,"I haven't filled out the survey yet because I'd like to know more about what the app actually does. I think it matters. So you have an option for ""Resilience."" Does your app actually teach people how to be more resilient?      A little more detailed info would be helpful for me. :)",0.8126,positive,questioning
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,speaker,3,I’ll fill in those details in the form in a few minutes! Thanks for the feedback!,0.5399,positive,acknowledging
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,listener_1,4,Thanks! And you’re welcome. :),0.8478,positive,wishing
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,speaker,5,Now it’s been fully edited! :),0.5529999999999999,positive,acknowledging
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,listener_1,6,"Filled it out for you. :)  I wouldn't use it myself. I used to suffer from mental health issues, but I don't anymore. I actually run a free, online, private, workshop to help people with mental health issues. It teaches them a specific therapeutic modality: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  However, I'm always willing to support anyone who is trying to promote mental health and wellness. People need all the help they can get!     Good luck with your app! I'd love to take a look at it when it's up and running! :)",0.9921,positive,caring
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,speaker,7,"Great! Good to see other people working towards wellness as well. :)  It’s actually up and running already in the app store. I’ve called it Alleviation for now, but I the polls are suggesting I change it. I’d give you the link but I could only find one for my country.",0.807,positive,proud
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,listener_1,8,Thanks! I'll check it out! :),0.7568,positive,acknowledging
490,MentalHealthSupport,Help me choose a name for an app to improve mental health,speaker,9,"I totally agree with you! It’s been a real struggle coming up with names that aren’t off putting, are descriptive, aren’t already taken etc. Perhaps it’s back to the drawing board.   I’m glad to hear you appreciate my efforts! :)",0.8682,positive,agreeing
491,MentalHealthSupport,Is it okay to enjoy anxiety attacks? Do I need to seek help?,speaker,1,"During my Graduation Rites last month, I had my most severe anxiety attack thinking if I graduated last year my dad would've seen me during the rites (he died July of 2018). I now understood why people put ""crippling"" before anxiety. But the scarier part about it, was I looked forward to it and I want to feel it again.  I very seldom experience anxiety attacks (probably once in two months) and most of them are very mild. But during these mild anxiety attacks, I feel disappointed afterwards because it would not worsen to the point that it becomes crippling.  One hypothesis of mine is I want to welcome sadness in my life. Since I was young, I never experience difficult and depressing moments up until my Dad's death because I never invest too much emotionally to things and people. Now, I feel like I'm just enjoying the company of sadness.  I just want to ask Reddit. Is it okay to enjoy Anxiety/Sadness or do I need to seek professional help. Thanks",0.7169,positive,apprehensive
491,MentalHealthSupport,Is it okay to enjoy anxiety attacks? Do I need to seek help?,listener_1,2,"I get a sense of this too. For me it's more like a panic attack is me finally releasing all of my stress cause I end up crying and screaming and sometimes flailing. Like all the stress and anger and sadness is being expelled.   But afterward I'm tired and numb. While I feel this way about panic attacks, I would much rather not have them and be content and happy.",-0.9654,negative,sad
491,MentalHealthSupport,Is it okay to enjoy anxiety attacks? Do I need to seek help?,listener_2,3,I have a friend who describes it very similarly. She says that she looks forward to it because she can move on at that moment. Sometimes it takes awhile for her anxiety to build to that point and it makes daily life hard. Once she is able to release that (usually in the form of an attack) she feels like she can rest and finally move on and feel relatively normal until it starts to build again.,0.128,positive,anticipating
491,MentalHealthSupport,Is it okay to enjoy anxiety attacks? Do I need to seek help?,listener_3,4,;;I appreciate the peaceful good times more when I have bad times,0.6486,positive,sentimental
491,MentalHealthSupport,Is it okay to enjoy anxiety attacks? Do I need to seek help?,listener_1,5,"Exactly. It's like a sneeze. You don't like sneezing, but when you feel the urge to sneeze, you would rather do it than the feeling to keep going with no sneeze.",-0.2156,negative,agreeing
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,speaker,1,I’m proud of you.,0.4767,positive,impressed
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,listener_1,2,And I'm proud of you,0.4767,positive,impressed
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,speaker,3,Awww thank you :D,0.7603,positive,sympathizing
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,speaker,4,"You’re welcome :) I’m glad to hear that, thank you!!",0.9018,positive,acknowledging
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,speaker,5,I’m glad! :),0.7424,positive,joyful
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,speaker,6,"you deserve to hear it!! and awh, thank you :)",0.7256,positive,neutral
492,MentalHealthSupport,Idk who needs to here this but...,listener_2,7,"Hey, David1Goggins2Beast, just a quick heads-up:   **alot** is actually spelled **a lot**. You can remember it by **it is one lot, 'a lot'**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,wishing
493,MentalHealthSupport,So my husband...,speaker,1,"I feel like I want to rip my hair out and scream. Im on the verge of tears. Im so stressed out. My mom and I already don’t get along and she’s in town visiting for 3 weeks. We’re half way through. But lately, my brother in law has been asking us for financial aid. Nothing big $20 here and there, and that came to a head tonight. We have told him repeatedly over the last week we can’t help him. He’s asked us 3 or 4 times for money after the last two months since he started asking. My brother in-law has a history of drug use. So my husband told him we were not helping and he was concerned he wasn’t telling him the truth. So then his wife messaged my husband and attacked us essentially saying we don’t understand responsibility (she doesn’t have a job nor wants one). So my husband told her we’re not helping anymore. I’m sitting here stressed because they’re supposed to come in November and he just got into a blow out with them. I told him to talk to their mom. Maybe something is going on we don’t know. On top of dealing with the stress of my mom never being happy enough and that I’m a terrible daughter in her eyes and I’m just selfish blah blah blah, ON TOP OF all my other stressors and work and personal depression and anxiety. My husband because he’s fluffed up about my brother in law and sister in law gets, he got mad because I didn’t wash a specific pair of jeans just yet. And all I literally want to do is lay under water with a weight on my chest and scream. I feel like I’m barely treading water with all the anxiety.   I’m also really bothered with the ease my husband says he can cut people out of his life. It’s really scary to me.   Idk. I’m just having a really hard couple weeks and I worked so hard to get things ready for my mom to visit and it wasn’t good enough, I watched my husband express concern then got attacked and he cut off his brother from his life, I’m already really stressed with work and then to have him get so upset over pants just really makes me feel so bad.   I know my post is really scatter brained. But I feel like I’m spiraling so hard and I can’t find the ground.",-0.9964,negative,annoyed
493,MentalHealthSupport,So my husband...,listener_1,2,I’m sorry. I hope it’s a little better today,0.6378,positive,sympathizing
493,MentalHealthSupport,So my husband...,speaker,3,Actually things are a lot better. My husband apologized and we spoke to his parents and things are better. We won’t be seeing his brother and his wife this fall and it’s gonna be a chill trip.,0.7964,positive,content
493,MentalHealthSupport,So my husband...,listener_1,4,I’m so glad to hear that! Cheers!,0.7892,positive,wishing
494,MentalHealthSupport,Am I allowed to be depressed?,speaker,1,"My dad always says that I can’t be depressed cause I have nothing to be depressed about, so lately I’ve convinced myself that I only do it for attention but I have never once posted about how I am feeling or even talked about publicly, so basically my question is, can I be depressed when I have a good life, and nothing to be depressed about.",0.6582,positive,ashamed
494,MentalHealthSupport,Am I allowed to be depressed?,listener_1,2,"Take it from a straight white guy who has a decent life but is still clinically depressed: depression doesn't only affect poor people or rich people. It doesnt discriminate based on who you are or what you are. It's an illness that (at least for me) is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Just like the flu, you dont need permission to be affected by it, it just affects you or it doesnt",-0.752,negative,impressed
494,MentalHealthSupport,Am I allowed to be depressed?,listener_2,3,"This, a hundred times over. You are entitled to your feelings. In fact recognizing those feelings is the first step in helping yourself. Even if you dont understand why, knowing you feel that way is step one. No one but you can tell you how you feel.",0.1406,positive,confident
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,speaker,1,"i am a 50 year old woman.  even though i am a lifelong animal lover, ever since i was small, i have had occasional urges to abuse cats (we never had dogs, and i only had a cat for a short time as a child before my parents ""sent it away"".)  as far back as i can remember, i remember punching/beating my beloved stuffed animals too, as a way to make myself ""feel sorry"" for them, and then hug/comfort them.  i remember playing by myself in the basement at about 8 years old, and pulling the cat up by its collar until it made choking sounds, then i'd let it go.   apart from that, the only pets i was ever allowed to have were fish and budgies/parakeets (anything easily contained  - like me). birds are my pet of choice - i've had them all my life - but never had the urge to hurt birds - only mammals.   now we have cats again, three now, as my husband of two years keeps taking in strays, and i've had to get over my allergies with medicines. i love the cats dearly - but those urges resurface occasionally, and i find myself whipping one with a shirt or a stick when i need to take my frustrations out on something.  i get a perverse satisfaction of seeing the oldest one, a female, curl into a ball and cry.  and then i feel the need to comfort her later.  now i just locked our newest little guy, a sweet stray tabby, in the small space between the kitchen door and the metal storm door for an hour just for the enjoyment of hearing him cry and scrabble at the wood and metal.  then i let him out, and he ran to hide.  he did deserve it though, because he killed my nine year old bird a few days ago.   i worry though that i will really go too far some day and really hurt someone.  it might help to add that i'm about 90% sure i'm on the autism spectrum; self-diagnosed because my parents never cared to see anything wrong or help me.   tl/dr:  i have had urges to hurt the things or pets that i love (except birds) ever since i was small.   wtf am i?  besides a monster? (roast away, i deserve it)",-0.924,negative,guilty
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,listener_1,2,"I'm not going to roast you, but I AM going to recommend you don't keep animals if you're having these urges and acting on them despite knowing it's wrong. No the cat fid not deserve that, he was following his nature.  It's a concern that his distress pleased you.",0.4644,positive,agreeing
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,speaker,3,"yes, i know he was acting on instinct.   and i can't help that they are in the house, my husband started bringing them in once he moved in with me and he got my elderly mother out of the picture.  what can i say?  ""no?""  i can't tell men what to do in my house.",0.2028,positive,agreeing
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,listener_2,4,form of animal torture sadism without sexual intentions? I dont hecking know..,-0.5994,negative,questioning
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,speaker,5,"oh, but i do the same thing if i accidentally hurt/bump/step on a part of anyone.  i feel terrible and pet them and apologize.  the urges are not ""me"", and rarely surface, but i can't control them...",-0.7684,negative,neutral
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,speaker,6,sexuality? i barely have any.,0.0,neutral,questioning
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,listener_2,7,"Like I said, I really dont know.  I did, however, had ""similar"" urges in my life when I was an emotional wreck becausw of my life, I was angry at what was happening to me and wanted to take revenge on ""gods"".  it quickly passed away and non of my cats were hurt",-0.872,negative,afraid
495,MentalHealthSupport,what disorder would it be when an otherwise animal-loving person has an urge to hurt or abuse cats/small mammals?,listener_1,8,"You actually can. It may go against what you've been raised to think, but it's okay to do this",0.3291,positive,neutral
496,MentalHealthSupport,How can I get my shit together?,speaker,1,"I’m feeling emotion in spurts.   I feel nothing. Then I start to cry. Then I want to tear something to shreds. Then nothing.  In a matter of moments when I’m by myself.  I don’t do this in front of people. I keep an iron grip in public. Family and friends included. Though I do have two friends who seem worried.  I disconnected myself from my emotions for all of middle school. I felt like I was just going through the motions day to day. I felt like most days weren’t real  I started to get better in high school, but now that I’m a senior, I’m back into my old habits. When any emotional challenge arises, I’m the first to crawl into my shell.  I’ve never been tested for a mental illness or ever been to a therapist. So, I’m not even sure if I actually have a problem.  But I just don’t feel normal.   I have vivid memories as a child of both my brother’s outbursts.   My brother’s breaking things, punching walls. Screaming and yelling.  I remember my oldest brother through his bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts.   This is all in the past. They’ve both gotten help and are miles ahead of what they were. I don’t think I’d count those as trauma. I think about them from time to time, but they don’t HAUNT me, per-say.  How can I pull myself together?",-0.9762,negative,lonely
496,MentalHealthSupport,How can I get my shit together?,listener_1,2,Who can you talk to about this?,0.0,neutral,questioning
496,MentalHealthSupport,How can I get my shit together?,speaker,3,"I don’t know who. I don’t want to bother people. And when I’ve talked about it with my mom, she says it’s just normal. I wouldn’t classify myself as depressed, (not to self diagnose) but I do have these mood swings in my spare time when I’m not around people.  My mom is very hard to read. I can’t read her emotions half the time.  Thinking about it now, I just think that’s how I was raised to deal with my emotions and issues.   The whole “Don’t let them see you cry” or the “what good is it gonna do?” Thing.   I can hide them pretty well and feign calm collectivity.   But at a cost.  I wrote this post in kind of a dark moment, but I’ll probably delete it later today.",0.8645,positive,sad
496,MentalHealthSupport,How can I get my shit together?,listener_1,4,"Honestly, you aren’t bothering people.  They want to be connected. Your brain is lying to you.",-0.4019,negative,sad
496,MentalHealthSupport,How can I get my shit together?,speaker,5,"If I can’t even trust my own brain, than who can I trust?",0.765,positive,trusting
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",speaker,1,"I have one other post on r/Existential_crisis you can find on my account that explains a lot more about me, so check that out if you want. Now that that's put of the way let me explain what's going on.  I have chronic depressive episodes, and they really started to go away near the beggining of the summer as I was leaving school, but they're back now. A few weeks ago, for the first time in about a month, I had a bad one, I wanted to just lay in bed all day and do nothing, so that's what i did until it was over. I've been getting them more frequently, so around like 2-3 times a week, and everytime I do I feel more and more alone. I will just randomly want to cry, but I never will, it's like I cant at all. Every day that passes I feel more and more lonely, which ends up leading to me having an existential crisis, which leads to a depressive episode. I have no idea whats causing it. I'm 13, and I have plenty of friends, so I shouldn't be worried, but i still am. Maybe its cause I dont let anyone get close to me and I dont share anything with anyone, maybe it's because I somehow feel the need to have a girlfriend, I have no clue though. I dont like letting people know about my issues as I dont want them to worry or pitty me. I dont really like people(no offense to anyone that knows me) and I've never really ""like liked"" anyone, plus I dont trust people no matter how trustworthy they seem. Idk, I just constantly feel like just laying down and crying. I want to cry just while writing this, but no tears will actually form, I cant cry. Sometimes I feel like I'm faking all of my depression and anxiety for attention, but that just makes me want to keep it more and more to myself, I feel like if I tell people they'll just think I'm faking it all. I hide under a facade that I created that makes me look like some witty, happy, and funny guy, but in reality all I want to do is just isolate myself and be away from everyone. I use the internet and video games as a place to vent and escape from my mind and everything going on. I'll often just lay in my bed at life thinking if it's worth it to keep going, or if I should just go and down every pill bottle we have in the house. Is it worth living when you'll be forgotten 2 years after you die, is it worth living if you feel completely alone all the time? Idk what to even do anymore, I hide behind jokes and humor constantly. My mom, dad, closest friends, and even my therapist dont know about my mental state right now, and honestly, I want to keep it that way. Im what people would call a pessimistic masochist, I see the down side of everything, and I enjoy getting hurt(not in *that* way), I like fighting as long as the other person fights back, I enjoy the pain and feeling getting punched in the face gives me. I honestly question whether i can even be hurt mentally anymore, or if I'm just a broken person. Anyways, back to what i was saying before. I feel extremely lonely, I feel like no one will ever love me, and I feel like the compliments that people give me are purely out of pitty for me. When I say love I also dont mean it in the lovey-dovey way, I guess I kind of do, but I mainly just mean it like family best friend kind of way. I'm sorry for the confusing formatting, but I just wrote down whatever came to my mind, and because of that I'm also sorry for all of the jumping around. Anyone who reads this, thank you, and the whole point of this post was just to try to tell someone. And again, thank you if you read through this all.",-0.6704,negative,sad
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",listener_1,2,"In the past,  what has helped you move away from this mood?",0.0,neutral,questioning
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",speaker,3,Music and isolation,-0.4019,negative,lonely
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",listener_1,4,"Do you have any pets? Or can you borrow one from a friend or family member? Personally, I feel better when I’m playing with my dog. She’s always in the moment and gives unconditional love",0.9092,positive,faithful
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",speaker,5,I have a lazy chihuahua wiener dog mix that does nothing all day but scratch himself,-0.1901,negative,sad
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",listener_1,6,Sounds like you need to find a more active pup.,0.6697,positive,acknowledging
497,MentalHealthSupport,"I've been ""down"" lately",speaker,7,Yeah,0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,speaker,1,We got together second semester sophomore year and we were together until the end of Junior year and stayed friends until halfway through senor year. After she ghosted me I tried getting over her until she suddenly came back then I find out it's because she was lonely and the person she got with left. Recently I went to her place and we had sex and I said I love you. She then said I know and I stopped asking why she didn't say it back and said she didn't want me to get the wrong idea. Then stopped talking to me for a week and comes back crying how that same guy she was with didn't want her and how her ex even before me confessed love and that I'd always be here. It's hell she wasn't like this before she changed and I hate looking into the future where she's not there with me. And it's to the point I just want to be done and end it.  Any advice would help.,-0.7817,negative,guilty
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,speaker,2,I want to leave and hate her for using me but I cant. I just want to be happy again.,0.5294,positive,lonely
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,speaker,3,I don't want to feel so lonely but thank you it means a lot.,0.3429,positive,sympathizing
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,listener_1,4,"It gets better with time. I've been where you are, I understand how hard it is to walk away when you're so involved emotionally, but it does get easier.",0.6652,positive,consoling
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,speaker,5,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
498,MentalHealthSupport,About a girl,speaker,6,I hope,0.4404,positive,encouraging
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,speaker,1,"My friend is professionally diagnosed with BPD. He has also been stuck in a codependent on/off relationship for about 5 years with a much older man ""S"" who is very emotionally abusive and manipulative. He also suffers from depression and suicidal ideation. I dont know what to do anymore. He stopped going to therapy, wont take his medication, wont block S's # (and if he does he unblocks it the next day). Hes dropping out of school.  I feel like such a shitty friend for letting him get this way. But I also feel like hes using me as a crutch so he doesnt need to get help because I'm the one who drops everything to come to his aide. Im scared to stop helping him because I dont want him to hurt himself or run away to another state to be with S. I'm at a loss here. Advice needed!!!",-0.9,negative,devastated
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,listener_1,2,"BPD is treatable... but ONLY if the person accepts help, and it doesn't sound like he does.  You're not a shitty friend. This is quite literally the hardest mental health issue to help someone with. BPD in a person unwilling to accept help (and help themselves) does not improve, it gets worse.",0.9015,positive,agreeing
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,speaker,3,Any tips on how to deal with this? Even for my own mental health on dealing with this?,0.0,neutral,questioning
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,listener_1,4,"Put your own well-being first. BPD is a complex disorder and most of the behaviours are not intentional (sometimes the person isn't even aware of their manipulative behaviour), and you are likely to be blamed when things go wrong because ""this wouldn't have happened if you had/hadn't done X...""  Set clear boundaries of what you will and won't do, and stick to them. One of these could be refusing to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions.  And don't take it to heart if he accuses you of anything, unless it's something you actually should take responsibility for.  It might help to do some research on BPD (reputable sites, not opinion pieces) for more information on what it is and how it affects the person. Keep in mind that while you're doing stuff for him, you'll be the best thing since sliced bread, but the first time you can't meet his needs (real or perceived), you can reasonably expect to be considered a traitor who has betrayed him. It's called the saviour-traitor extreme, and there is no middle ground.  Therapy would help him with ALL of this, particularly adding the stages between the two relationship extremes, but since he won't accept help, it's going to remain an issue.  At the heart of BPD is fear of abandonment mixed with a tendency to push people away. It's an unwinnable contradiction, often referred to as ""go away but don't leave me"".",-0.9376,negative,agreeing
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,speaker,5,"Thank you so much! This really helps a lot. I will do some more research and try to get a better understanding, it's just really hard to be a good friend at the moment and its frustrating that I cant really Express that to him without it going to an extreme.",0.8777,positive,acknowledging
499,MentalHealthSupport,My (21F) best friend (22 gay M) of 12 years has Borderline and won't get help,listener_1,6,Best wishes hon,0.7003,positive,wishing
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,1,"**I wish I was me**  I wish I had my mind back, the one from long ago  the laughing, smiling, happy girl, the one I used to know.  I wish I had my mind back, the person I used to be, but now I'm  left to wonder, is this really me?  I wish I had my heart back, that severed gem of mine. Oh how I   wish I could simply turn back the time.   I wish I had my heart back, but it was stolen from me and now a broken  soul I will forever be.   I wish I had myself back, the one you used to know. I'm ever so sorry I had to go.  For God has never moved without purpose or plan, so I will be the best broken person   I can.",0.979,positive,nostalgic
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,2,"That's good. :) Since it was written in 2016, how are you feeling now?",0.7506,positive,questioning
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,3,"Unfortunately, I'm doing worse now. I'm in therapy though but I don't think my mental disorder will ever go away.",-0.743,negative,sad
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,4,I'm so sorry to hear that. Is the therapy helping? Do you mind me asking what mental disorder you have?,-0.3513,negative,sympathizing
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,5,"I have only been to therapy twice, but I think it is helping some. I am a private person so I have not shared much with her yet. I am nearly positive I have Bipolar disorder. I also have severe symptoms of Genophobia.",-0.2033,negative,trusting
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,6,"Ah I understand. Hard to tell if therapy is really working yet. It takes a while to build that trust up with someone.   Well I'm sorry you're struggling and if you ever want to chat, feel free to DM me. <3",0.6705,positive,agreeing
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,7,Thanks:) I have found that talking with random people on Reddit has helped so much.,0.4404,positive,grateful
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,8,Oh good! It’s sometimes easier when you’re hiding behind a wall of anonymity.  When I was in therapy there were times that I had to close my eyes or turn away from my therapist because I didn’t want anyone looking at me.   I understand. 💗,0.8748,positive,agreeing
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,9,"Yes, it was even hard to type some things at first so hopefully I can become brave enough to share with my therapist. I am glad I'm not the only one wanting to turn close my eyes while talking with a therapist lol",0.945,positive,trusting
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,10,I am so glad someone can relate:),0.5949,positive,grateful
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_2,11,If you ever need to DM mine are open. :D,0.6166,positive,acknowledging
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,12,I might take you up on that sometime. Thanks so much for your kind comments.,0.743,positive,suggesting
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,13,"No, you're not the only one! You sound brave to me. Reaching out to a therapist is brave and even posting on Reddit under a veil of anonymity can be scary because people can be dicks and rude for no reason. So even though no ones knows who you are, it still takes courage to post on Reddit because you're exposing yourself for random strangers to flog you or try and drag you down.   You're doing really well! :)",0.636,positive,agreeing
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,14,Thanks. It has taken years to get help but I was highly encouraged to get help after ending up in the ER. Its going to be a long way to recovery if that is even possible.,0.8761,positive,neutral
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,15,"I think recovery is always possible as long as your goal is to continue to grow, love yourself, and heal.   I had a lot of mental issues when I was younger (PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, suicidal thoughts, anger, shame, guilt...etc) and even though I'd consider myself ""recovered"" in that I don't suffer from those things anymore, because my goal is always: ""How can I fully support myself, love myself, and continue to heal?"" I will always continue to be in ""recovery"" because I will always constantly be working at unlearning all the things that contributed to my mental illness.   For me, there is no ""finish line"" of ""Okay, I've learned to love myself. The end. What's next?"" It's not like that. You have to actively show love to yourself every day as long as you're alive. So I won't be done/recovered until I'm dead. lol. And I'm perfectly okay with that. As long as I continue to feel better, then it's all good. :)",0.9626,positive,proud
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,speaker,16,"I guess I had not thought about that. this is sorta of a lifetime thing, but learning to think differently and manage symptoms. I think its interesting how you had some of the same issues I do. It is always interesting to hear other peoples perspectives on mental health.",0.7964,positive,neutral
500,MentalHealthSupport,I wanted to share a poem I wrote back in 2016,listener_1,17,"It *is* learning to think differently and rewiring your brain for sure!   When I first found out that I would have to practice emotional self-care for the rest of my life, I literally threw a fit and cried. I was devastated. I didn't WANT to have to actively work on loving myself. I just wanted a quick fix where I could do a thing or take a pill and then *poof* issues gone. Check mark that off and be done. But that's not how it works.   Once I was taught HOW to practice self-care and love myself, it no longer felt like a ""have-to"" forever. It felt like ""Wow! I get to love myself forever and feel better every day!"" It was truly a blessing. :)",0.992,positive,devastated
501,MentalHealthSupport,Male Sexual Harassment?,speaker,1,"I know that I have posted a post that contains the parsgraph below but I would want to add more thought into it and focus more on it. It bothers me a lot, I don't like getting stepped on by other people especially women because I would not want to look like a rude person or a person that cannot take jokes even I always stay quiet. I lack social experience.  Some girls like me because of my quietness and shyness. There is this one girl that I do not know if she liked me or not. She would always call me daddy in group chats or at class and I do not know how I should feel about it. She posted a picture of me on calling me baby on the comment section, in a group chat she mentioned me and said ""I love you"".  Like the shy person that I am I over analyzed and I said ""No"", she reacted with an angry emoji. She then started to look at me the next day at school so I try my best to look away. I dont know if I should be offended one time she slapped my ass during our gym class. I am not sure if it was bullying or something. As a man I have read that we should be okay to be objectified or somewhere along those lines and catcalled. But I do not really know. She also once called me out in public saying ""Daddy you look so handsome""  There is this other girl that would slap me sometimes if she feels like it and I wouldn't react because if I do I would look like a monster and if i don't I would look weak. She also slapped my ass once. I just do not get it. It bothers me a lot, am I just being to weak? Should a man react or take pleasure from getting this kind of attention?    I am a 19 year old college student, I know that these kinds of thoughts are only for highschool boys but it is my first time having female classmates.",-0.6413,negative,embarrassed
501,MentalHealthSupport,Male Sexual Harassment?,listener_1,2,"This indeed sexual harassment, first of all; why should she call you ""daddy"" with no good explaination? Judging what ""daddy"" these days means she basically were sexually harassing you in both groupchats thinking it's cute and in real life by touching you. If i were you i should screenshot everything, and eventually tell someone about it;maybe eventually it can lead to her arrest.  People should know that there are bounderies. Just know that you're not weak for not doing anything about it; most people get confused and shrug it off.",-0.8387,negative,agreeing
501,MentalHealthSupport,Male Sexual Harassment?,speaker,3,Thank you for the support I will try to speak up against it when it happens again,0.6369,positive,grateful
501,MentalHealthSupport,Male Sexual Harassment?,listener_1,4,"No problem at all, just be careful. I don't know what these type of people will do. Maybe eventually talk to a mentor about it so they'd watch those girls for you and if they act they'll surely be in trouble. Good luck.",0.8384,positive,suggesting
501,MentalHealthSupport,Male Sexual Harassment?,speaker,5,Thank you 😊,0.8176,positive,wishing
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,speaker,1,"Hi, i used to go to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  They also gave me some meds to counter them.   But i’ve stopped seeing them and felt like i was getting better for about 9 months without antidepressants.   I felt like i was really cured. But lately, i cant help but feel that someone’s out to get me. I would see glimpses of shadows or a dark ish figure. I’d get paranoid i guess.   Im scared that thing would grab me and smother me. Help me please help me.",0.5288,positive,terrified
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,listener_1,2,"Get back on your medication, you cannot solve this on your own it's just not possible. Suffer, or get better; the choice is yours.   You need to also get into therapy and speak with a professional on a regular basis. If you feel that you're a threat to yourself or others please voluntarily commit yourself to a psychiatric facility.",0.6437,positive,terrified
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,speaker,3,I cant. I live in a country where mental illness is a rare subject and often related to supernatural stuffs. I cant seem to talk to the psychiatrist as they would relate it to religious beliefs.,-0.4019,negative,apprehensive
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,listener_1,4,I seriously doubt that. You're making excuses for yourself. Don't come asking for help if you cant accept reality.,-0.3987,negative,trusting
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,speaker,5,Yeah i guess i needed to hear that. Thanks for the help man.,0.7783,positive,neutral
502,MentalHealthSupport,help me. Im scared.,listener_1,6,Anytime. I deal with the same shit and made the same excuses.,-0.5574,negative,agreeing
503,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like self-harming?,speaker,1,"Just wanted to give those of you a tip if you feel like self-harming and for those who want to self-harm but you're also trying to stop.   Instead of self-harming (cutting, stabbing, hitting...etc), grab two ice cubes and put one in each palm and squeeze as hard as you can. This will be painful, but it will also give you the relief that you're looking for when you go to self-harm and it won't leave you with a scar.  Obviously, for those of you that want a visible marker of your pain and you self-harm for those reasons as well as just the pain aspect, the ice cube trick won't give you that visual marker. But it might be worth a try next time you want to self-harm.  I was taught this by my therapist and it really helped me. Hope it helps someone out there. <3",0.1575,positive,neutral
503,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like self-harming?,listener_1,2,"For the visible market of your pain there is permanent markers. Draw what your pain looks like on your arm. It's in permanent market so it will take a while to fade, just like the pain itself!",-0.7345,negative,neutral
503,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like self-harming?,speaker,3,Yes!! 👍🏻,0.508,positive,angry
503,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like self-harming?,speaker,4,You’re welcome! :),0.7424,positive,wishing
504,MentalHealthSupport,Can I call a suicide hotline if I'm not in immediate risk of suicide,speaker,1,"I'm struggling a lot right now. I need someone to talk to but I don't want my very few friends to know me that personally. Everyone thinks I'm so happy and content with life and I don't want to break that illusion or have people asking me difficult questions. Would I be wasting someone's time, calling a crisis when I'm not planning to kill myself? I don't want to take time from someone else who needs it more. I don't know what to do",0.4474,positive,lonely
504,MentalHealthSupport,Can I call a suicide hotline if I'm not in immediate risk of suicide,listener_1,2,Yes,0.4019,positive,agreeing
504,MentalHealthSupport,Can I call a suicide hotline if I'm not in immediate risk of suicide,listener_2,3,Aren't crisis lines meant for someone to call and you'd have automatically a doctor's appointment or did i confuse something i heard? In my case the crisis line can only be called by my parents if i become too unstable.,-0.6377,negative,questioning
504,MentalHealthSupport,Can I call a suicide hotline if I'm not in immediate risk of suicide,listener_3,4,Hmm maybe it’s different where you live? In Canada I’ve used a crisis line that was meant for talking someone down from an emotional crisis but it doesn’t have to be suicide,-0.9011,negative,suggesting
504,MentalHealthSupport,Can I call a suicide hotline if I'm not in immediate risk of suicide,listener_2,5,Could be highly possible as the suicide hotline does the work which the crisis line does over there.,-0.8625,negative,suggesting
505,MentalHealthSupport,Earing my name getting called by people who arent there,speaker,1,I juste want to know if it is normal to ear our name getting called loudly by some close friend who are miles away. It mostly start in a stressful period  like once or twice a month.   Now than i think of it sometime when im in a place where they are a lot of people i get nervous and sometime i have the impression that people around me are looking at me with wierd and a bit scary face but when i look directly a them they are normal and looking in a completely different direction   I juste want to know if it is normal or i should talk to sombody about it   Sorry if my english is not good its my second language,-0.536,negative,anxious
505,MentalHealthSupport,Earing my name getting called by people who arent there,listener_1,2,"https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/h/hearing-voices  I often hear someone call me or bits of noise that don't really exist. As far as i can tell it's nothing to worry about so long as it doesn't distress you or interfere with your life. (Please correct me if I'm wrong internet people).  As the article above says, only 25% of people who report hearing voices have a mental illness. The fact that you hear things when under stress appears to be quite common.   Also i recently learned about Musical Ear Syndrome. It's basically the sound equivalent of seeing faces in the clouds. The brain searches for patterns even when there are none. Sometimes it mistakes background noise for music or words.   TLDR: i think it's normal. Learning how to deal with stress might help but you probably have nothing to worry about.",0.4687,positive,anxious
505,MentalHealthSupport,Earing my name getting called by people who arent there,speaker,3,Thanks for the article it was some good reading about the subject   But the voices arent what stress me the most in this cas its the face of people arond me when they are in my side view they look like some mean lookinh creepy grinning face. I dont really know how to describ it but when it happen it allways make me jump a little and it happen a lot off time in a day when im in puplic. For exemple if i  walk passe a groupe of people they can all change to this wierd face and follow me whit there look but when i look a them they are all normal and looking in complete differant dirrection.   I dont know if you know what its called or is,0.9081,positive,afraid
505,MentalHealthSupport,Earing my name getting called by people who arent there,listener_1,4,"That's not something I've come across. But if it helps I see dark figures in my peripheral vision. I think it's something to do with my ADD and anxiety, i have an intense dislike of being physically close to people so my brain is always looking out for people so i can get away from them.  If possible you should speak to a doctor (preferably one with mental health experience). There are a lot of medical things that could cause hallucinations that arn't big, scary mental illnesses. It could be as simple as not  getting enough quality sleep. And the sooner they pinpoint what is going on the sooner you can start to feel better.",0.5983,positive,afraid
505,MentalHealthSupport,Earing my name getting called by people who arent there,speaker,5,Thanks its really helpful to be able to speak about it it clear thing up a bit i will do more reserch about it,0.8221,positive,acknowledging
506,MentalHealthSupport,I'm worried I'm going to be a serial killer,speaker,1,"I do not want to be a serial killer, I don't want to hurt others, but for some reason I think of becoming a serial killer. Idk what to do, I'm worried about talking to my therapist about it because I don't want my parents or thr cops called over it. I don't like these thoughts, I don't want to hurt people, I don't know what to do about it.",-0.9001,negative,apprehensive
506,MentalHealthSupport,I'm worried I'm going to be a serial killer,listener_1,2,"The fact that you don't want to be means so much. The fact you are getting therapy means so much.  If you read anything about serial killers most are alone, unfeeling, uncaring. YOU clearly don't want to be. They did.  I struggled with thoughts like that all my life too, it's when you act on them that changes everything. When you are hurt you look around you to see how people deal. There is a connect with the dark side of serial killers, it seems as though they have the freedom to do as they wish, going about the world seemingly devoid of emotion or fear. No emotional connections to the them down. But when you research them further you start to see how deeply troubled they truly are, how if a helping hand, a friend, a therapist might of changed it all.  I would highly reccommend reading ""my friend dahmer"" (It's a comic too) it's a hard read but it gives so much insight to how truly alone dahmer must of felt, his downward spiral, his home life. How he seemed to be trying but just gave up.  You are stronger than that.   Be strong my friend.",0.9735,positive,sentimental
506,MentalHealthSupport,I'm worried I'm going to be a serial killer,speaker,3,I want to do it but am not because i know its wrong and dont want to hurt people. I dont want to go to a therapist because i dont want to have my parents or authorities informed,-0.3259,negative,apprehensive
507,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I suddenly not care about myself?,speaker,1,"*trigger warning: not sure if this needs it but just to be safe I do talk about eds and depression *  So I’ve actually never done this (I made an account just to ask this question) but things have been so weird recently that I felt the need to ask the internet for advice lol.   Lately, I just don’t care about myself, and I don’t know why. I tried to look it up online but all that came up was stuff regarding depression. It’s weird though, because I’ve dealt a lot with depression on and off in the past, but I don’t feel depressed? I feel...normal? I recently relapsed in my eating disorder (bulimia), which at first was just a typical a slip up—there will be times I’m fine for weeks/months and I’ll have just one or two instances and go back to recovering—but I kept doing it (ie binging & purging). But it’s not like all the other times I’ve struggled with my ed, because this time I’m not even doing it really because I’m scared of gaining weight, or I feel nauseous after binging, or I have a hard time controlling myself. For some reason this time, it’s like I’m doing it just because I know it’s bad for me. It’s like I just want to hurt myself which is really unlike me.  I guess the weirdest thing is, I don’t hate myself—I actually feel like I’m really ok with who I am right now. But I just want to watch myself deteriorate and I don’t know why, it’s so strange. My parents have been fighting a lot more lately (they’re always fighting but recently it’s been more intense), so I think that could have something to do with it. Whenever things pick up between them I always start internalize it for whatever reason. They’re both really emotionally immature (though I know they want to be good parents, or at least my dad does), so for most of adolescence I had to basically hold up myself and deal with everything on my own which wasn’t easiest thing in the world but hey I’m still here I guess.   Do I want attention maybe? Thats not really like me but I feel like that could be it because as I said before, I’m always sort of holding myself and those around me up so maybe I’m just tired of feeling invisible. I’m really used to being the adult in my family (despite being the youngest), and even with my friends at times. I’m always the person everyone goes to advice, or for a shoulder to cry on. And I like being that person—there’s no greater fulfillment than helping people. But to be completely honest, the older I get, the more I wish someone would just hold me, ya know? I kind of wish I could stand under the umbrella too, rather than be it, if that makes sense. But even if the opportunity arose I almost feel like I wouldn’t take it just because I’m so used to having to carry my own weight and never lean on anyone else that being vulnerable would be too uncomfortable and out of character for me. (Sorry for rambling a little bit, thought that extra piece of info might help, also feels good to vent lol).  Does anyone know what could be wrong with me? Why do I want to hurt myself when I’m not depressed and I don’t hate myself? Has any ever had a similar experience? I feel like I should ask “what should I do?” and I want to, but at the same time, I feel so much apathy for myself that part of me doesn’t even care. That scares me honestly. (also sorry for the length of this and the poor articulation).",-0.9043,negative,apprehensive
507,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I suddenly not care about myself?,listener_1,2,"If you've battled depression significantly in the past, it could just be an automatic response to stress because that's what you're used to.  You might not actually be depressed per se, since the mental state you describe doesn't seem to indicate it.  If that's the case, making yourself choose a different response might help. Redirection, mindfulness, journalling, etc?",-0.5103,negative,suggesting
507,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I suddenly not care about myself?,listener_2,3,Journaling is a good idea!,0.4926,positive,suggesting
508,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about college stuff.,speaker,1,I think I’m just forcing myself into school stuff way too quick. But I gotta get my degree so I can get tf out of this abusive household. I’m just feeling so rushed.... and like.... ugh..... I’m feeling like I’m gonna mess up and ruin it. Pre Calc is stressing me and I’m already wanting to give up.,-0.9433,negative,anxious
508,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about college stuff.,listener_1,2,"I dont know where you go, but there is likely to be help: office hours, tutoring. Make use of those because they are there to help you. What helps me is not seeing, “Oh, look at all this stuff that is ahead of me,” but take it in small steps. Applies to both studying and dealing with life stuff.",0.8885,positive,hopeful
508,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about college stuff.,speaker,3,Online college. Been thinking about csncelljn the pre requisite classes (the ones I’m struggling with) and attempting to find a passion to follow.,0.0516,positive,hopeful
509,MentalHealthSupport,how to help myself?,speaker,1,"im 16, ive been having severe schizophrenia symptoms for almost half a year now. it's seriously driving me to the edge, every second of every day I feel unreal and separated from reality, I'm terrified of what's going to happen. I would tell my family but, they don't believe in mental health/believe it's a real issue. I'm afraid if I told them they would lock me up or outcast me and call me a psychopath. the first and only time I went to a therapist a few years ago they immediately tried to send me away, and that was before i started having these symptoms. so I really don't know what to do. i want meds, I truly do, I need them or I think I'm just going to end it, I can't take this much longer!!!! I might keep posting on here to keep a record of what I say and feel Because I often forget things that happened only minutes before. I'm sorry if this sounds incoherent I just got done having an episode and my mind is fuzzy, I just want help before it's too late. I've got no friends and of course can't reach out to my family so what can I do?",-0.4137,negative,afraid
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,speaker,1,Sometimesi feel like i switch between different personalities or something. Whhat does this mean??,0.4329,positive,questioning
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_1,2,"Let's explore this...  How would you describe the changes? Don't worry too much about whether anyone understands, just describe it the best you can.",0.7654,positive,questioning
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,speaker,3,"it's kind of hard to put into words but sometimes im very carefree and don't really care about anything and tend to never have opinions on anything, or kind of closed off and then a little while later I'll be very opinionated and feel the need to share what I feel to everyone IDK i don't even know if that's really a personality change I'm very tired I'll try to answer this better later",0.0642,positive,neutral
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_1,4,"Well, on the upside it doesn't sound like DID because it sounds like you're still you through the changes.  It's possible it's some kind of rapid-switching mood disorder.",-0.0541,negative,acknowledging
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,speaker,5,will u read my recent post on r/schizophrenia ? i kind of explained it better...I think,0.0,neutral,suggesting
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_1,6,"Okay, first things first. Remember the blanket thing? Try that again, see if it helps again.  I really don't know what's happening to you, all I know is that it's clearly terrifying. I had a look at a few of your posts and I'm picking up on a lot of panic.",-0.2023,negative,terrified
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_2,7,"Here's a sneak peek of /r/schizophrenia using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!  \#1: [I painted myself!](https://i.imgur.com/RIqQUO8.jpg) | [59 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/b9x165/i_painted_myself/)   \#2: [This is my latest drawing, I hope you guys like it. I have trouble focusing so I drew something that makes it hard to focus](https://i.redd.it/yqm792jj0jo21.jpg) | [36 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/b5v3rk/this_is_my_latest_drawing_i_hope_you_guys_like_it/)   \#3: [This](https://i.redd.it/jbc09jnaabm21.jpg) | [43 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/schizophrenia/comments/b1h4yu/this/)  ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/ciakte/blacklist_vi/)",0.6179,positive,proud
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,speaker,8,I've beeen panicking for the past hour i am scared,-0.7003,negative,terrified
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_1,9,"I think you're going to have to talk to your parents again and really drive home that you need to see someone about this. Even if you could talk to your GP that would be a start.  I don't know what's happening to you exactly, but I know you need help with it.",0.5499,positive,apprehensive
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,speaker,10,I know im gonna have to eventually whatevr this is it's getting really bad and i don't want to end up doing something I can't undo,-0.6143,negative,afraid
510,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a different person every hour or so,listener_1,11,I understand your concern there.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
511,MentalHealthSupport,"Thanks to DPD, my family doesn’t believe I’m Trans.",speaker,1,"Hello, my name is Kina (it isn’t) and since I could remember I’ve had DPD (or multiple personality disorder). When I say this, I usually get two responses   1.) No you don’t you little Troll  Or   2.) You need mental help right away  For those that don’t know what multiple personality disorder is, let me explain. It’s when their is more than one person living in the same body at the same time. The best way for me to explain my situation growing up is to think of the movie Inside Out. Instead of emotions, I had personalities.   The first one: K  I was born at the end of the 90’s and I was an infant. At 9months old, I had a temperature of 112 thanks to pneumonia. Later on, I’d have a temperature of 109 for, once again, pneumonia.   DPD is very rare to the point specialists have no clue how to treat it, or how it develops.  My goal with this entire message isn’t to get attention, but to be informative in hopes maybe a professional would one day read this and learn something.   Anyway, I was born and I didn’t really know what genders was until I was about 4. When I looked at all the females, I felt more close to them then guys. What I didn’t know was I was Female, Trans, but I didn’t know how to cope with teachers and parents telling me I was a boy.   Then I heard a voice call out to me in my empty room. He told me to stop crying and let him take over, so I did. It was weird, I was there but I couldn’t really control anything. At first I was scared, but then with the help of this new person I was able to gain a few friends. That person later on we’d learn calls himself, K.   Then there was King and there was probably the worst thing for a child, religion   After awhile, K was a lot more active in life. People wanted to treat me like a male, I decided I’d explore elsewhere in my mind. After awhile, I learned a method called Astral Projection where I could just leave my body. When I did that, I was in the female body I always dreamed of having and could feel everything this new world had to offer me, unaware my physical life was about to be stolen from me.   K and I were massive introverts. We hated social interaction and normally would actually remain quiet for someone our age. Around 6 years old, we were at the end of kindergarten and everyone was forced to be in the choir, a massive social event. Our parents basically got angry when we told them we didn’t want to do it, but they said something like,” You have to, or you will embarrass us.”   We were starting to panic and was put in an empty hallway to calm down. That’s when K heard a voice that would mean the end of my life. “I’ll handle the social events, you handle the at home events.”   And from then on, Personalities would come and as years would go on, I’d constantly get shoved down more and more and more till even King and K forgot I exist. Luckily, 1 personality still remembered me.    Fast forward to the beginning of August, just before our first year of university. King was dominate in control, K forgotten (not as much as me, however), and King was wrecking things.  Time to talk about Luke, Melony, and Trish  These three personalities we learned are like each of our “inner voices”. Normally, you have that inner voice to help you determine what’s right and wrong. Ya, for us those voices became actual people.   K had Luke  King had Melony   And I had Trish   Trish, however, forgot about me and became a lone...... bad apple (don’t want to swear). You’d think she’d be the one to remember me, but she wasn’t.   King was engaged to this women I will call Krystal (again, not real name). Krystal was loathed by our family for being the following   An idiot   Being down right evil to anyone in our life that wasn’t her  Ya, she was one of those types of people.   One day, she just stopped hanging out with us. King would get depressed, have anxiety attacks, and that’s when it happened. One day king went and confronted the women he was suppose to marry any day now. She then informs king,” if you don’t let me play my game in peace (she spent 3 weeks playing online D&D without a word to him), I will cheat on you with my brother.” Then she went on and on about how she will get him drunk and how she’d just go to town.   When our family found out (cause Melony told them), they demanded King to break up with her. King then told them,” Heck no, I... I still love this person and.... I forgive them.....”   No personality had the will to beat king’s dominance. Not even K at this point could take control from King. Melony, however, is the one that remembered me.   I was alone....in a dark place...... I just remember seeing what was happening and knew I couldn’t do anything. I was lost in my own mind and couldn’t find a way back, until Melony and another personality found me and brought me back. All mentally, I kicked King out and I was back in control.   To sum up the next few years, it was a constant war for control between me and King. We couldn’t tell anyone, because they’d just lock us up in a mental hospital (hence why I made a new account for this). We, however, actually did agree to talk to a therapist about it (Lol). She didn’t lock us up, but help us not rip out one another’s mental throats.  Afterward, King declared we needed to put the first personality back in power. I was so happy, until he basically gave his dominance power to K. He thought K was the first one and so did everyone else. I realize I lost my life at that point and just cried myself to oblivion.    Skip a few more years to a few months ago where King learns the truth. When trying snuggle positions with our boyfriend (who is fully supportive of us btw and loves us all), King realized the truth in a way I didn’t think of. Our mother told us when we were infants and growing up till about the time K gained control, the only way for us to fall asleep was being rocked.   Normal for babies, but K hated being rocked which King found out in the snuggling. I, however, adored it and loved every second of it. That’s how I was found out, but he didn’t let me know he did.   We went to Hawaii with the family for vacation and for the entire trip, the boys refused to take control even for a second. They forced me to stay in control for a week.   I have to admit, I loved being in control.... except for one thing. Remember when I said I was trans, ya. Every time I saw myself in the mirror, I got an anxiety attack as I didn’t recognize who I saw.    That brings us to a now problem, but whenever I seek help from a professional, they all say the same thing.   “Your problem isn’t trans, it’s DPD. Just get rid of the personalities and you should be fine.”  First: getting rid of all of them will just make me 100% FEMALE YOU STUPID IDIOT  Second: You virtually just told around 12 people to go kill themselves   And finally  Third: I spent my whole life in the back of my mind and you want to take away the greatest friends I ever had. Heck no!!!  Idk how to tell my parents I’m trans, because for the majority of my life I was technically a male. To them, the only time I started acting trans was the first year of university in college. I’ve tried to tell them, they always say it’s fake news and to stop acting like something I’m not. That statement always makes my blood boil, because I learned that lesion a bit too late.   I honestly don’t know what to do? Does anyone have any advice?",-0.9882,negative,ashamed
511,MentalHealthSupport,"Thanks to DPD, my family doesn’t believe I’m Trans.",listener_1,2,"Sorry, but my first question is who diagnosed you with DPD? There's actually no such disorder, there was MPD which later became DID, but no DPD.",-0.4335,negative,questioning
511,MentalHealthSupport,"Thanks to DPD, my family doesn’t believe I’m Trans.",speaker,3,I meant DID,0.0,neutral,ashamed
511,MentalHealthSupport,"Thanks to DPD, my family doesn’t believe I’m Trans.",speaker,4,"I told you that it’s not the problem. Did you just read the title and think,” I know everything.” Multiple personalities is not the damn problem.",0.6979,positive,confident
511,MentalHealthSupport,"Thanks to DPD, my family doesn’t believe I’m Trans.",listener_1,5,"Cool your jets ffs. I came onto this thread to help you, and my concern was that someone has given you incorrect information that makes it harder to sort out what's going on.  If you look at my first comment again you will see that it says ""hit enter too early, ignore this"".  Not inclined to help someone who goes on the attack.",-0.7689,negative,apprehensive
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,speaker,1,"Hi all.  My name is Jess and I am studying psychology. I am currently researching the link between individuals mental health issues and their media use. If you  would like to participate follow the link below. As someone who has struggled/struggles with both depression, anxiety and PTSD, I would like to be able to help the community understand the connection to mental health and how we can help.   Criteria is 18-45 and needs to be completed on a computer. All data is anonymous. Feel free to message me with any and all questions!   [mental health ](https://csufobjbs.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cCoBORcKNpVO0aV)",0.8221,positive,hopeful
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,listener_1,2,"I'd be happy to take part, I'm just curious what will be done with the data once collected.  Is this a research project that will be used in community education, research to help you personally understand this better, a combination, or something else?",0.9017,positive,questioning
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,speaker,3,"Hi!  Wonderful questions!   So this research is part of my honours year. The data will be collected and analysed. Once analysed it will used to determine whether my hypotheses regarding the topic are correct; it will then be published. It goes toward my education and grades at my university (Charles Sturt University, Australia), so yes community education.  However, I was able to choose my topic and this is something I believe in and would also personally love to better understand and help others understand.  I cannot stress enough that the data you give is all anonymous and even is stored on a encrypted program, only accessibly to myself and my supervisor (I have 1 supervisor as it is honours and required). But again we do not know whose data is whose.  I appreciated and thank you in advance for your willingness to participate! If you do end up taking part feel free to give feedback!",0.9813,positive,confident
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,listener_1,4,Sounds good to me 😁 I like the fact that you're seeking evidence to see whether your theory is true,0.8807,positive,acknowledging
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,speaker,5,Thank you! ☺️ fingers crossed my theory is right or at least close!!!,0.7696,positive,encouraging
512,MentalHealthSupport,Understanding Mental Health,speaker,6,Sorry I should of mentioned that to get 0% you had to drag the sliders up and back to 0% and it would then accept it. I do apologise as I understand it would be frustrated and unfortunately because it is not specifically my questionnaire but a questionnaire designed by someone previously I couldn’t change it.   I appreciate your participation and the feedback!,0.4482,positive,sympathizing
513,MentalHealthSupport,I keep writing notes,speaker,1,"I have a problem in which I keep writing suicide notes. When I’m not writing them physically, I’m thinking about what I’d say in them. I think I need some sort of hope and inspiration to keep me going and stay away from this mindset. I guess I’m in need of a little bit of positivity. Anything helps.",0.5336,positive,hopeful
513,MentalHealthSupport,I keep writing notes,listener_1,2,"I'm sure you have people in your life that would miss you if you were gone. And, honestly, if you're writing notes, I think you know that. Normally in these types of notes, they say goodbyes/sorry to the people that love them. If you're doing so, there must be important people in your life. Seek them out, and seek out help. It will make a world of difference.  Pm me if you ever want to talk. Much love.",0.9509,positive,caring
513,MentalHealthSupport,I keep writing notes,speaker,3,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
513,MentalHealthSupport,I keep writing notes,speaker,4,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
513,MentalHealthSupport,I keep writing notes,listener_2,5,You're welcome. Please don't give up. You're here for a reason and you matter.,0.6597,positive,sympathizing
514,MentalHealthSupport,Advice needed ..?,speaker,1,"My name is Scott, I’m 23, and I’ve got depersonalisation and derealisation disorder. I constantly feel like life is just a game, like we’re all in a simulator. My vision goes blurry a lot, I don’t recognise myself in the mirror, and I feel like everyone is a robot? This then comes with anxiety attacks and depression. I don’t know how to explain it very well, but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced any of this and had any advice? Any help would be appreciated! Thank you in advance 🤙🏻",0.9513,positive,terrified
514,MentalHealthSupport,Advice needed ..?,listener_1,2,"I really don't want to be one of those people but you could practice a grounding technique or mindfulness whenever you feel like that? Also, if you aren't already, seeing a therapist will allow you to talk about how you feel and find solutions. It may not make it go away entirely but it will help you find ways to cope with it and lessen its affects.",0.8735,positive,suggesting
514,MentalHealthSupport,Advice needed ..?,speaker,3,"I used to do mindfulness and grounding, probably a good idea to start that again thank you :)",0.8126,positive,acknowledging
514,MentalHealthSupport,Advice needed ..?,listener_1,4,"Ah yeah, no problem. Wish you luck man :)",0.802,positive,wishing
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,speaker,1,"A bit of background information. I smoked weed twice in my life, first time in november of 2018 and second in april of 2019. both times i had extreme panic attacks that were amplified by my depersonalization disorder. I get really stressed out when I think about those episodes I had, and worry about death constantly.    Recently, my girlfriend has admitted to me that she’s been smoking weed regularly for over a year. I don’t know why, but that bothered me and put me in a really depressed mood for a few days. I guess because weed has been demonized for me by adults for a good portion of my life, and my experience with it was THE SCARIEST event I’ve ever dealt with. She profusely apologized to me when she found out how sad it made me, and has since quit. Today, she got drunk with some friends (she was pressured and knew that i would get sad) and she’s been telling me how sorry she is that she got drunk and hates her friends for doing it to her.    I assume I feel this way because i’m missing out? I faintly felt this same way before smoking weed, but it’s amplified now that I know i can’t handle it.    Can anyone help highlight to me why I feel these mood swings whenever someone very close to me gets drunk or high? I really want to be able to just live my life normally/neutrally without having to get my mind fixed on all this bullshit.",-0.982,negative,apprehensive
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,listener_1,2,"Well, I'm going to take a stab at it and say that you have mixed feelings and anxiety because you've been raised to think of weed as a bad thing and it's been demonized. So there's already a stigma there for you when it comes to the drug. Then there's the other side of it, which is you tried it, you had a severe panic attack (which can happen depending on the type of weed. I've had one as well with some kinds, and not with others. And I've had depersonalization on weed too. Your frame of mind also plays a huge part. But weed can make you paranoid and then you can freak out, FYI).  So I'm guessing you feel like others around you can drink and smoke weed and be fine, and you can't, so you feel defective or like there's something wrong with you--but there isn't actually anything wrong with you, or them. People's bodies and brains handle drugs and alcohol differently. Think of happy drunks, sad drunks, and angry drunks. We all handle substances differently.   This might be a kind of lame example, but I can't eat eggs (like chicken eggs). I have a severe reaction to them and it's very painful and I can't ever eat them and I LOVE eggs. I watch my friends and family eat eggs--deviled, scrambled, fried...etc and they're doing just fine. But I don't look at them and get angry. My body is the way that it is. It has an allergic reaction to eggs. That doesn't mean my body is wrong or malfunctioning and their body is right and okay. It just means we're different. My husband is deathly allergic to bananas. I can eat them no problem. Is he any less normal? Nope.   Sure, I miss eggs and he misses bananas. But we just live with the fact that our bodies don't like them.  For right now, whatever weed you're smoking amplifies your panic and depersonalization. All that's telling you is that right now, at this moment in time, you can't smoke weed, and that's okay. Maybe in time, with a different type of weed, and if you address your issues of depersonalization and your ideas surrounding weed (it being demonized) you might not feel that way over time.   But I wouldn't beat yourself up about the fact that you have a bad reaction to it. I can't drink alcohol. Every time I do, my kidneys hurt. So I don't drink. I've been the one at parties that is the only sober one. You can feel kinda left out and like the lame-duck when everyone else seems to be having a blast and coping just fine. But try not to look at it like you're an outsider. Sometimes it's really fun and funny to be the observer of people when they're off their head and you're not.   If you find yourself still struggling emotionally and with your mental health, then try looking into this free, private, online workshop. It really helped me: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)   It might help you undo some of your triggers surrounding this situation. <3",-0.8813,negative,apprehensive
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,speaker,3,"you hit the nail on the head with that egg analogy. except if i were you, i’d be under this false idea that eggs are killing everyone and turning them into shitty burnouts. i don’t know why.",-0.8402,negative,neutral
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,listener_1,4,Awww. I’m sorry you feel that way. I’d look into why you’re having that reaction to it. 💗,0.6808,positive,sympathizing
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,speaker,5,i feel so alone in my life and it eats me up inside to hear that the one i love is having a normal reaction to it. i feel left out and angry at the same time and i just cut my wrists tonight to get my mind off of her. i’m a fucking wreck,-0.7192,negative,lonely
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,listener_1,6,Did you self-harm or attempt suicide? Are you okay?!,-0.643,negative,questioning
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,speaker,7,self harm.,-0.5423,negative,afraid
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,listener_1,8,How are you doing today?,0.0,neutral,questioning
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,speaker,9,"i’ve been mych, much better since i last logged into reddit.    thanks for sticking around, and for your help. seriously.",0.7783,positive,neutral
515,MentalHealthSupport,Mood swings from random bits of information.,listener_1,10,So glad to hear that! And you’re very welcome. :),0.8795,positive,acknowledging
516,MentalHealthSupport,I think im suicidal,speaker,1,"Hi there. Long story short, for as long as i can remember i have been emotionally abused, verbally abused and experienced emotional terror by my mother. My dad is on the aspergers spectrum so he tends to shut down during our (frequent) arguments. I don’t blame him but it’s not much help.   For example, recently, I told my mother I was sick of her threats about wanting to beat me and kick me out the house. Her response was to take her glasses of and say, “well then hit me, if i’m such a bad mother!”  I then realized that this is wrong and that a mother shouldn’t ask for her 16yo daughter to hit her. Then I started looking up different types of abuse on the internet. No proffesional ever said it was those specific typed of abuse, but their descriptions fit how I see my situation.   Now - I just want to dissapear. I spend hours at night thinking of dying. How I don’t fear it anymore. I used to hate the dark, but not anymore. I kinda wish “something” in the dark would take me. I wouldn’t know how to do it myself. The thought of doing it myself however crosses my mind every single day. When I’m with someone I love, when I’m at work, when I’m at home. I literally have no goals or things I want to do in my life.  I don’t even cry anymore when I think about it. I so badly want to die. I know it sounds extreme but I really do. I want to go to a therapist, but the easier way out would be to just disappear on my own.   I know it’s not right to feel this way. But as much as I sometimes feel an urge to get better, I just cant. I’m trapped in my house and in my body. I used to feel guilty about it but not really anymore.  I don’t know why i’m writing this post. I guess some part of me wants to get help. No, this isn’t a suicide letter either. Maybe I don’t want to acknowledge that it’s a cry for help. Maybe im just feeling sorry for myself.",-0.9949,negative,terrified
516,MentalHealthSupport,I think im suicidal,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry you're in such a terrible situation. And no, that's not normal behavior from your mom and it is abusive.  Please don't give up. I know the desire to want to do so can be strong. Suicidal desire comes from feeling utterly helpless and like we will always be in that situation--like we will never have a way out. That's simply not true. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you want to be dead or not living as much as you just don't want to be stuck in this situation anymore and feeling so depressed and awful. You just want the emotional pain to stop.  Growing up I suffered from emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual abuse and I know what wanting to die feels like and what wanting to give up and disappear is like.   But please don't. You are loved. You are worthy of being here. You are wanted. You are enough.   Seeking out a therapist would be a good option, but seeing as you're a teen and it doesn't sound like you have a very receptive parent (in other words, you might not get the help you need) you might want to give this a go: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  It's a free, private, online, self-paced workshop. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to (you can if you want to, but you don't have to). It's helped a lot of people in situations like yours (including me).   Don't give up. The world needs you in it. <3",-0.9838,negative,sympathizing
516,MentalHealthSupport,I think im suicidal,speaker,3,Thank you so much. This made me cry haha I’ll check out the site. Thank you for caring.,0.7964,positive,sympathizing
516,MentalHealthSupport,I think im suicidal,listener_1,4,You're welcome. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. <3,0.6486,positive,sympathizing
517,MentalHealthSupport,Breaking the habit of isolating and closing off.,speaker,1,"I've been in absolute hell inside my own head for... a long time.  Can't think without self loathing.  Can't create without hating it.  Can't fight (full contact medieval wargaming/Larp) without losing interest quickly.  Can't interact with folks without feeling like I'm lying by omission and saying ""I'm fine"" when I'm not. Or, inversely, feeling like a tremendous burden when I tell them how I really feel. Feels like I'm whining. I hate whiners.  Can't find work (laid off a month ago)  But I also can't keep doing this. Cant keep doing the same things and expecting different results.  I'm taking my meds.  I'm trying to find joy in things I like to do.  I'm trying to create.  I'm trying a new path of not giving up on myself.  I'm reaching out and breaking the cycle of bullshit. Even if it's just here, where I'm as anonymous as I can be.",-0.2818,negative,ashamed
517,MentalHealthSupport,Breaking the habit of isolating and closing off.,listener_1,2,I got you. Same,0.0,neutral,faithful
517,MentalHealthSupport,Breaking the habit of isolating and closing off.,speaker,3,"Thanks. Just a rough patch. This too shall pass, yeah?",0.6249,positive,sympathizing
518,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to tell people how I’m feeling,speaker,1,"I’m a 15 year old, just going into my sophomore year. Ever since the beginning of my freshman year, around the time that exams are starting, I’ve had major mood swings, including depressive episodes and times when all I want to do is go outside and hang out with friends. The latter are amazing, and it feels euphoric when I get the chance to go out and have an afternoon of fun. But the former are just awful. I’ll lay in bed for hours at a time, just wishing everything would end and I could lay in eternal darkness. They make me wish I could stay inside and lay in bed forever, never seeing another person. I don’t eat and I don’t really even sleep. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. The reason I’m writing this is because tonight has been awful. I’ve gone from smiling and thinking about the girl I like to being on the verge of tears because who would ever love a fuck up like me multiple times. I realize I need help but I don’t know how to get it.",0.9451,positive,sad
518,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to tell people how I’m feeling,listener_1,2,"Hello! I’m so sorry you’re going through. You are very strong! I’m not a professional, but I am studying psychology in college. It sounds to me like bipolar disorder, which tons of people have. You are not alone. Common for them is very high highs and very low lows. If that’s how you’re feeling, try researching it on google. There are tons of articles on it. I would also say talking to a counselor at your high school. I did that when I was in high school, and she was able to give me a list of therapists I could see that weren’t too much money. Leaning on your friends and family and being open with them is the best thing to do. You can do this! I know it seems hard and it is, but it’ll pass.",0.8751,positive,sympathizing
518,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to tell people how I’m feeling,speaker,3,"Hey, sorry for taking so long to reply to this. I haven’t been online much. That’s what I was thinking as well about the bipolar thing. I didn’t think bipolar people had such quick changes between the highs and the lows. I’m going to the doctor for a check-up soon enough and i think I’ll talk to my doctor about it then. Thanks for the help and I wish you luck in college.",0.8834,positive,sympathizing
519,MentalHealthSupport,My parents are denying me help,speaker,1,"Hello, Sorry if this is all over the place or if you don’t understand anything, English isn’t my first language, on mobile, all that. When I was about 17, I started to self harm and thinking about suicide. That was the first time I felt like I’m worthless, a waste of space, that I’ll never amount to anything, I hated myself with a burning passion. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, like everyone hated me, was annoyed by me, that nobody wanted to be my friend and such. It got better for a while, until a couple of months ago. I started getting desperate, I have no will to live, I’ve succumb to the urge to cut again several times and again the feeling of not cutting deep enough and  not making enough cuts has returned.  I haven’t told anyone about the self harm, but I have asked my parents to help. I tried to describe what and how I’m feeling but they just shut me down, saying it’s my own fault, I did this to myself and that I should be lucky that I have a family who wants to help me, but that didn’t really feel like help. When I last mentioned it I got a two hour lecture on how ungrateful I am and that I should be lucky that I have the things I have and that they are willing to pay to get me through college, when I didn’t even mention any of that. They also repeatedly tell me that it’s no wonder I’m ‘depressed’ since I have no friends and that I’m a bad person, mean and that probably nobody wants to hang out with me anyway. I tried telling them how empty I feel and how I have no will to live and they just wrote it off, telling me I only need to take our dog for a walk more and I’ll be fine. I realize that there might be nothing serious wrong with me, but I really want to talk to someone who will make sense of my thoughts objectively, but my parents don’t want to help me. How do I deal with this? How do I convince my parents to talk to a professional, at least once?",0.6569,positive,ashamed
519,MentalHealthSupport,My parents are denying me help,listener_1,2,"I’m not really good at the whole helping thing, but I would try to talk to an adult you trust, either at school or a friends parent for example. They can help you seek help and help try to talk to your parents. Sorry if this isn’t helpful i’m not good at this. You did the best thing for yourself by talking to someone about your feelings and seeking help",0.9842,positive,sympathizing
519,MentalHealthSupport,My parents are denying me help,speaker,3,"I’m 20, I still live with my parents on weekends and holidays, during weekdays I live in a different city because of college with two of my friends, I have medical insurance, yes.  But you must understand, that I cannot do anything without my parents’ approval. They say what goes and what doesn’t. They finance my life still and I am very grateful to be so lucky that my parents are able to pay for everything. So if they say no to a psychiatrist, it means no.",0.8091,positive,grateful
520,MentalHealthSupport,How can I better control my body under stress?,speaker,1,"When I feel strong emotions associated with stress, I often tend to feel somewhat detached from my body and unaware of my movements and then find out later that I was moving in kind of embarrassing ways. I have been told that during arguments, especially in large groups, I tend to do lots of rocking, hand rubbing, leg tapping, grunting, and moving my hair around in a specific way. During adrenaline rushes, sudden jarring pain, and large amounts of worrying, I have been told that my hands and arms get kind of floppy and resemble a bird trying to fly. My current therapist is trying to get me to embrace these movements, and even employ them more deliberately, but people wonder what the heck I am doing, I can’t explain it to them, and some people even make fun of it, or get mad at me. I recently interacted with a group of people extensively who wanted to provoke the second reaction described and mock it. I have had people tell me in public to stop moving so much. How can I become more aware and develop self-control for this kind of thing?",-0.9194,negative,embarrassed
520,MentalHealthSupport,How can I better control my body under stress?,listener_1,2,"Has anyone spoken to you about grounding or centering before?  To ground yourself, touch something with a noticeable texture and really pay attention to how it feels. Buttons are good, or keys, or loose change. Rub it between your fingers and pay attention to the texture, whether it's hot or cold, whether it moves easily or gets caught on other things.  This will help you stay connected to your body and, with practice, can be done even while dealing with the stressor.  Centering is about being in the here and now. To do this, pay close attention to what's around you. Notice five things you can see, five things you can smell, five things you can taste. This can help reduce panic and anxiety and keep you from thinking too far ahead or too far in the past. It keeps you in the moment.",-0.2484,negative,apprehensive
520,MentalHealthSupport,How can I better control my body under stress?,speaker,3,"Yes. I used to kind of do this for stage fright when performing on the viola. I had one teacher tell me to focus on my left foot. I eventually overcame nerves enough to not make as many silly mistakes while performing solo repertoire. My current provider suggested fidget toys. I got a pimple popping themed one, but I was awful at keeping track of it. Maybe I need to stick to whatever is available in the surroundings. I find it helps somewhat, but is not a complete solution.",-0.5984,negative,apprehensive
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,1,"I feel depressed pretty much everyday now. I have to constantly push myself to do on things and it's exhausting, even little things feel difficult. I don't want to get out of bed anymore but I know I have to. Any recommendations on how I can start feeling better? I really just want this feeling to go away",0.7074,positive,questioning
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_1,2,"Do small activities that don’t take longer than 20 minutes when you need a boost. Or if it does take longer make a mix of some fun upbeat songs and when it’s over your done. These can be things like organizing your closet, vacuuming, preparing meals for the rest of the week, etc. I managed to get a lot done because I would only work 20 minutes an hour so it felt like nothing but I vacuumed the whole house, washed and vacuumed my car, did two loads of laundry and put them away, and cleaned out my desk. Try to stay out of your room when you’re not sleeping and limit naps to an hour or less a day. Nap in your room and not on the couch because that’ll make you tired in the future when you lay on the couch.   Making meals before you need to eat them is very useful. Like make a ton of pasta and separate it into smaller Tupperware so if you don’t feel like cooking you still eat. Also try to take showers more than twice a week, smelling bad will make everything worse. Even if you are in and out in 10 minutes it’s better than nothing. Keep up with brushing too it’s hard to prioritize any kind of hygiene but it’s important to avoid getting sick.",0.0744,positive,prepared
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_2,3,Seriously going to give this a shot. Wish me luck.,0.6124,positive,hopeful
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,4,"This is very helpful, thank you",0.7070000000000001,positive,acknowledging
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,5,"Thank you, and yeah, that's usually how I go about my day but I kind of just wish I didn't feel like this in the first place haha",0.8039,positive,neutral
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,6,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,7,"Thank you, I'll check it out",0.3612,positive,acknowledging
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,8,"I do something similar but I find myself trying to force myself to do everything at once, even when I feel overwhelmed. I think I like your approach better lmao",0.9294,positive,neutral
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,9,I want to tell my friends how I feel but I feel like I do that too much and I really don't want to be a bother,0.153,positive,guilty
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_3,10,You're welcome. I hope you start feeling better. I'm always here to chat if you need someone. <3,0.8519,positive,sympathizing
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_4,11,"Extremely cold showers and ice baths can help, Win Hoff the iceman got through his depression with the help of the cold.",0.6705,positive,grateful
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,12,I hope so too! Thanks again :),0.8545,positive,encouraging
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_5,13,"I understand, I really do... But slowly start to improve in doing those little activities. Depression tends to steal the enjoyment of things you used to like, so maybe do something that you used to like? For me I would draw. Sometimes i’d just sit and stare at the paper for a long time before doing anything, but in the end i’d end up doing it and actually liking it.",0.871,positive,neutral
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_6,14,"Oh I do the same !! Lol or I would feel guilty because I knew in my head I need to be doing 10000 other things but just can’t bring myself to it. But I feel like this works. And I just tell myself that no matter what happens that day. As long as I do my small little tasks I set up for myself that I had a good day, even though it’s still hard. I hope you’re feeling a bit better !",0.9495,positive,content
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,listener_3,15,You're welcome! <3 :),0.7424,positive,wishing
521,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice?,speaker,16,"Oh that's interesting, I'll give it a try",0.4019,positive,acknowledging
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,1,"I was in an arguement with my mom, Then I went to my room and when my dog tried walking in, I slammed the door at the wrong time. Now I know he’s okay but I’ve always loved animals and when I did that I really started having a mental breakdown and I want to kill myself.",-0.3291,negative,guilty
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry you feel so down, but your dog still loves you. Your dog wants you safe, just like you want them safe.",0.9538,positive,sympathizing
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,3,Alright. Because he’s the only one I really have a true love and connection to and I would not be here if he was truly unhappy or not caring about me anymore. And thank you for responding.,0.8495,positive,neutral
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,listener_2,4,Same with my Kittens.Went wandering in the woods searching for one and ignored the fact I stepped on a rusty nail until my foot swelled up and couldnt walk well anymore.,-0.4791,negative,ashamed
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,5,Thank you for the support. It’s making me feel better about this.,0.7964,positive,grateful
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,listener_3,6,It’s no problem at all. I’ve suffer with a mental illness and felt the same way during one of my meltdowns. My dog is pretty much the reason I was able to put myself back together again. So I know what it’s like to be really attached to an animal.,0.1921,positive,trusting
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,7,"I really appreciate it, I do truly love my dog so if you put it like that it makes much more sense to stay. :)",0.9392,positive,grateful
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,8,I already gave him a lot of snuggles so I guess it’s okay now.,0.2263,positive,content
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,speaker,9,Okay.,0.2263,positive,trusting
522,MentalHealthSupport,I just hurt my dog accidentally and I want to kill myself.,listener_4,10,I’m sorry you’re struggling  It sucks  But there’s always tomorrow,-0.4215,negative,sympathizing
523,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,speaker,1,"So I think I need some advice. Lately, I've been having trouble what I want from life and the direction I want things to go in. I'm from a religious family and I have recently accepted that I'm bi or maybe gay? I still dont know. This I think has caused me to have mood swings where I'm happy, joyful some days and really depressed other days. During these days, I do have some suicidal thoughts but after a bit I shrug them off as things that I wont act on.   When I'm at work I like to focus entirely on tasks so I dont leave much room in interacting with others. I do this at home as well and as a result has caused people to think that there might be something wrong with me and I'm starting to believe them. I've also started to distance myself from my family who I live with and have spouted stuff like 'I've been using you for personal gain' and Its hurtful, but I feel little to no emotion when I say this and like it when they get hurt. I've been holding a grudge with my sister for almost half a year now because I feel like my life is better without her, even though shes done a lot for me.  I'm confused on what's going on and I'm scared that these feeling would fester into something bigger that I cant escape from. I just want to live a life where I can be the best I can be. Any advice is helpful. Thanks.",0.9494,positive,apprehensive
523,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_1,2,"Hi there, i’ll first start off by saying thank you for looking for help and being so open on a public platform I love to see people talking about their health, as for religion goes no one can tell you how to live your life your parents moulded you into the person you are today and they will love you no matter what. It may take time for them to grasp it but i promise you they will. your sexuality is yours no one can tell you any different so your “confused” right now everyone is confused at one point in their life not taking that away from you but it happens im here to tell you everything will be fine in regards to that matter. as for shutting out your family and sister please try and tell them how you feel rather than kick them to the curb if you’re not comfortable with that then go talk to a professional start there it’s all about baby steps and you’re already here wondering what to do that’s a great first step.  that’s one thing i wish my brother would’ve told us before it festered into something a lot worse drugs stealing ultimately he took his life. I’ll never forgive myself for not asking what’s wrong or lending a helping hand i’m here as a friend to you and you can always count on me, it all starts somewhere and that somewhere is communication i hope this helps friend",0.9845,positive,neutral
523,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,speaker,3,thanks for your comment. It helped out a lot. Im sorry about your brother. I'll remind myself to read this comment whenever I feel really down. Thank you again.,0.6573,positive,sympathizing
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,speaker,1,"I’m 17, and I’m questioning my gender (ftm), and my home life is not the best. My parents are very strict (biological mom and step dad) about everything. Here are some of the rules in the house.   1.) no internet access. We have WiFi, but my step dad puts parental control apps that are meant for little kids on all of our  (me 17, step brother 14, and step sister 9) devices. We aren’t allowed to have YouTube, and we’re not allowed to have any app that has chat rooms.  2.) no music other than country. I’m not allowed to listen to whatever music I want. I’m not allowed to have music apps on my phone, or my TV.   3.) I’m not allowed to go over to my friend’s houses if they haven’t met their parents yet. Even when my parents have already met the other parents, it’s still a very slim chance I’m allowed to spend the night over there or even go out for the day.  4.) I’m not allowed to get my drivers license or learn to drive. I don’t really know why I can’t, but I’m going to assume it’s because of the rule above.  5.) No after school events at all. No sports, no parades etc. My parents don’t want to have to pick me up from school and drive me anywhere. They don’t think it’s their responsibility. I’m not even allowed to catch a ride with another student.  It’s been like this at home since I think I was 12-13. I stay in my room 24/7, and I only leave my room when I have to use the bathroom (shower included), and when I eat.   I don’t really have a healthy eating schedule because nobody at my house really cares if I eat or not. They’re not starving me, but they don’t care enough to make sure I’m healthy. I’m 83 pounds and very underweight for my age.  I have diagnosed depression and anxiety disorder, and I see a therapist weekly. Other than that, I don’t have anybody to talk about my mental health issues. If I tried to talk to my mom about it she’d just get angry and tell me I’m stressing her out, even if I’m suicidal. My step dad doesn’t believe in depression.  I don’t know whether or not I should leave or stick around until the end of the school year. I feel bad for leaving my mom behind, but I hate being there I have nobody and I have no friends. I have social anxiety because I’m always locked up in my room I’m too scared to make friends.  I’m using a phone a friend gave me to write this out. I always have a secret phone on me so I can talk to the outside world. In case anyone was wondering how I was posting this—  It’s like living in a prison! Except I think prisons are more loose than my house!",-0.9856,negative,annoyed
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,listener_1,2,"Please, tell anyone close by who may be able to help. That is not a healthy place to be and you may even have a case for child neglect.  I know you feel bad about your mom, but you need to help yourself before her. Please, please, get yourself out",0.7947,positive,agreeing
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,speaker,3,"I am going to move out once I’m 18, which happens to be in April, so I’ll have to wait a while. One of my friends that graduated last year said he’d have a place for me to stay by the end of the year when he gets an apartment, and my aunt says I can stay with her until I’m ready to move out.   I’m not sure who I should stay with though, and if I should leave as soon as possible. I promised my mom I’d come home (I’m currently with my biological father who is not strict like they are), and I don’t know what to do. I feel bad for promising her id come home.",0.4639,positive,apprehensive
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,speaker,4,"Alright. I’ll see what I can do. I hate having to make her upset, but I’m going to try to talk to her..",-0.3919,negative,consoling
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,speaker,5,Thank you so much. I didn’t realize how actually messed up my home situation was until I was talking to my friend earlier and they were livid..,-0.0516,negative,grateful
524,MentalHealthSupport,I want to move out of my emotionally abusive household but I’m too afraid to.,speaker,6,Thank you much it means a lot to me thank you!!,0.6792,positive,acknowledging
525,MentalHealthSupport,There's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is,speaker,1,"I don't know if I'm a sociopath,  psychopath, schizophrenic or what.  I acknowledge that there is something wrong, but don't know what to do. It's been scaring me lately so I've been trying meditation.   Some things about me.  I do not mind lying and manipulating other people to get what I want in life, I feel like daily living is pretty much a joke and I ""Fake it till I make it"". I say what people want to hear and with my looks it's quite easy.   I feel like I'm better than most people spiritually,  like I belong somewhere better than here. God type feeling.  But, I also feel like everyone Is shit including myself and we are all going to die anyways so what's the point.  I enjoy blood alot. I won't go into much detail because it is very personal to me but I  consume my own blood, it feels calming and helps my stress.  Stress. I stress alot. Mainly over the purpose of well, my own purpose.  Why the fuck am I here? What is the universe and what lies beyond it? I almost constantly question the meaning of existence. I'm not sure if that's bad or not.. some people should try it in my Opinion.   Sometimes I hear things like unintelligible whispering or screaming in tongues. I really don't like that. Sometimes it's my dead mother's voice, sometimes my own. Telling me I'm nothing and that I'm going to die horribly by disembowlment or other crazy shit.  There's alot more so ask questions if you want , I would just like insight. Do other people feel like this? What am I supposed to do with myself.   I haven't had social media in over 4 years so that is why all this is jumbled.   Thanks.",-0.9503,negative,guilty
525,MentalHealthSupport,There's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with you. I do recommend a therapist or psychiatrist (if that’s an option). You don’t seem to be a psychopath or any of that. From what I know (I’m a psychology major in college), it sounds more like schizophrenia (for the hearing of tongues, etc). The rest might just be the way you’ve learned to cope. A professional would be best to consult because I don’t have qualifications, but it might be somewhere to start to see if you fit those symptoms. I hope things get easier for you!",0.9532,positive,sympathizing
525,MentalHealthSupport,There's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is,speaker,3,"Thank you, I'll try therapy again once my insurance goes through.  I really want to get better for my daughter mainly. I have been having thoughts that if, given the opportunity, I could kill someone or hurt someone,  I would and not feel much, mainly numb and tingly  with adrenaline I'd imagine.  I appreciate your reply.",-0.0018,neutral,grateful
525,MentalHealthSupport,There's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is,listener_1,4,You can do this! There’s a lot of free online resources you could try googling things like this with that might give you more info on how to handle this while you wait for insurance. Caring about getting better for your daughter is a very good sign! You’re strong!,0.9599,positive,confident
526,MentalHealthSupport,Don't really know where to go with this.,speaker,1,"Like the title says, I don't really know where to go with this, but I need to get it off my chest. It happened to me on Monday while I was at work. I was near the brink of having a break down, and I was talking to some guests (customers) who had asked how I was doing. I typically don't reply, but I did to this one by saying ""Not that good. I feel like I'm about to have a break down.""  Them laughing at that didn't really help much, and when I said ""No. I'm serious. It's not a laughing matter,"" they simply laughed some more. Honestly, looking back at it, I don't know what I expected them to do. I don't expect people to just laugh at someone when they say they're going to have a break down. Usually people are more caring towards stuff like that where I work.  Anyway... That's it. I haven't been doing too well the past few weeks. I haven't actually felt happy in a while. I suffer from depression, but I don't think this is a depressive episode for me. It could be and I'm just in denial, but I digress.  I don't even know what I expect posting here. Am I supposed to ask for help?",0.8522,positive,embarrassed
526,MentalHealthSupport,Don't really know where to go with this.,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry this happened to you. They were not nice people. People that care wouldn’t laugh at you. As for the break down, i know how that feels. What helps me (depending on the kind of break down) is making to do lists (if it’s related to too much on my plate), doing things I love (hobbies, seeing people who care about me, etc), journaling (works to get your thoughts out about why you feel this way), and above all relaxing. A lot of a break down stems from feeling overwhelmed in general (conscious or subconscious). Make sure you eat right, get enough water, and just generally take care of yourself. this feeling will pass! Things can’t always feel bad. I hope the break down never happens and that life goes up for you!",0.9755,positive,sympathizing
526,MentalHealthSupport,Don't really know where to go with this.,speaker,3,"Well. It's true I haven't been eating much or drinking much water. I just haven't really had an appetite on top of not having the money to eat. We barely even have anything at home. I'm scraping by with what I can.  As for the break down, I took the next day off and stayed pretty much to myself and relaxed. I didn't do anything strenuous, or something that would overwhelm me, and I even slept in.  It's true I was feeling overwhelmed, and my boss understood when I told him I can't cover someone else's shift because of the situation yesterday, so I'm happy for that.  Thank you for your advice. I'll have to try it if I'm ever on the verge of another break down. I hope that won't be for a while, this is the first time it's happened in about 9 months.",0.9728,positive,content
526,MentalHealthSupport,Don't really know where to go with this.,listener_1,4,I’m proud of you for being so strong for so long! You are still strong now! I hope you don’t have to either! Good job taking care of you! Keep it up!,0.9675,positive,proud
526,MentalHealthSupport,Don't really know where to go with this.,speaker,5,"Thank you again, kind hpnerd2.",0.7096,positive,wishing
527,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I am Losing All of My Friends,speaker,1,"I feel like whenever people have known me for a while, they don't want to hang out/be my friend anymore. My mental illnesses either perceive this, so I think it's true, or they do back away, and I feel depressed/anxious.  I've actually lost many friends due to it. I just don't know how to express this, without seeming like I am just imagining it.  I am afraid to make friends/have relationships, because they end poorly. I feel terrified to speak, or upset someone.  I just feel like I fuck up all friendships/interactions with people.  It's so frustrating. I'm on meds/going to therapy, but I wish I could just...have a normal day.",-0.061,negative,afraid
527,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I am Losing All of My Friends,listener_1,2,"I have the same problem/ feel the same way. When I open up to people I feel like it pushes them away and ends badly. When I tell secrets I end up being back stabbed. When I ask for help I get mocked. I can’t tell how much of it is in my head, or just my anxiety.",-0.7579,negative,ashamed
527,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I am Losing All of My Friends,speaker,3,"I have, but because I have ""been too much"" or ""they need space"" but never come back.",0.0,neutral,neutral
527,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I am Losing All of My Friends,listener_2,4,well then you need better friends. you deserve better. the best.,0.9349,positive,neutral
527,MentalHealthSupport,I Feel Like I am Losing All of My Friends,speaker,5,"I honestly cut ties with most of my ""friends"" because of this. They said I was crying wolf, or was too much to handle. I don't need that.",0.2878,positive,lonely
528,MentalHealthSupport,"It's late I can't sleep and would like advice... this post is scattered, but so are my thoughts. (Long post)",speaker,1,"Ive never posted on reddit, so this will be my first post. I have a pretty decent life, I've got an amazing boyfriend, good grades in high school, while also being pretty well off as a high schooler due to having a good job. Everything seems okay, but my head tells me otherwise. I feel like I should be happy but I'm not, all on top of the fact I have major issues with my self image... I don't know what's wrong but I know whatever is going on in my head is not normal. I've always had issues with my self image and through the years I have developed trust issues... I had one of my friends go behind my back recently, and also just lost all of my friends for the second time in highschool due to a 2nd person (approx 10-15 people both times). I met them through my boyfriend, and needless to say they told him and I that they intentionally tried to exclude me from everything. Needless to say, my boyfriend refuses to speak with them... I feel like a burden on him ever since then, and I feel I can't trust anyone but him. After all hes the only person I have anymore... It's made me extremely lonely knowing that's how they have felt about me for about 2 years now... and am afraid to make new friends for fear of the same thing happening. As a result I've spent hours wondering what I did to cause it (even though I've been told by the ex-friends and my boyfriend that I didn't do anything to cause it).  My boyfriend has his own depressive swings, as he has been diagnosed before with anxiety and depression so it makes it hard to be able to talk to him. I get scared he will say it's nothing and that I'm okay, and I'm scared to uncover those same feelings that he has had (thankfully, he doesn't see it as nothing... he understands what I describe). My job is also stressful because I'm a customer service worker, so I get paid to handle people all day, and I see all my fellow cashiers and baggers who slack off get compliments, while I'm working hard and don't get any recognition. I just wonder if anyone around me truly cares about me, and if anyone would care if I was gone. I've never been one for self harm, but for the first time today I ended up cutting myself, and have had thoughts of just disappearing... I don't know what's wrong and havent been able to figure it out. Any advice on what I should do would be nice... or if anyone could tell me what they think these feelings are that would be nice too.",0.9714,positive,ashamed
528,MentalHealthSupport,"It's late I can't sleep and would like advice... this post is scattered, but so are my thoughts. (Long post)",listener_1,2,"People care about you!! I know it may not feel like it right now, but it’s true!!!   Is going to counseling an option for you?",0.7516,positive,questioning
528,MentalHealthSupport,"It's late I can't sleep and would like advice... this post is scattered, but so are my thoughts. (Long post)",speaker,3,"Not really... my mom suffered from anxiety and slight depression but she gets furious if I say anything about getting help and says I'm fine. But thank you for the positive comment, I was kinda scared to post this at all...",0.1665,positive,surprised
528,MentalHealthSupport,"It's late I can't sleep and would like advice... this post is scattered, but so are my thoughts. (Long post)",speaker,4,"It's not that I carry his baggage, it's that whenever I'm in a bad place such as now, it hurts him to see it. I get scared to tell him much because I dont want it to hurt him more than it has to. He really does push for me to speak to him about these things. I can see I made it seem like I take on his troubles... I meant that I get scared to speak because he has experienced it, and it hurts him to see me in the same place that he once was",-0.9619,negative,guilty
529,MentalHealthSupport,"Today someone called me a ""Hannah Baker wannabe"" because of my scars",speaker,1,"I was in a really low place earlier this year and started self harming. I'm doing much better now that I've got some help, but I still have a long way to go.  I'm very self conscious about my scars but unfortunately the uniform I have to wear in clinical practice has short sleeves. I never thought anyone would care or treat me any differently because of my scars. Lots of my friends asked if I was alright and showed genuine concern but one person who I'd never even talked to before was apparently saying nasty things behind my back, including what's in the title. My friends she said this to immediately told her what an awful thing it was to say these things and nobody is talking to her now. She wasn't able to look me in the eye the rest of the day.   I know I shouldn't care about pathetic people like her but I'm really having trouble moving past it and it's really knocked my confidence. Any advice about what I can do to help be more comfortable with my arms?",0.9665,positive,ashamed
529,MentalHealthSupport,"Today someone called me a ""Hannah Baker wannabe"" because of my scars",listener_1,2,"she’s clearly very ignorant about mental health issues, and she won’t make the same mistake again clearly.  Confidence comes with time, it won’t be long till you can even remember a day when you notice them on your arms or even notice another person looking.  I do suggest looking into scar positivity and remembering that as a coping method they’re proof you’ve survived",0.8887,positive,agreeing
529,MentalHealthSupport,"Today someone called me a ""Hannah Baker wannabe"" because of my scars",speaker,3,"Thanks, I've never heard of scar positivity but I'll be sure to look into it",0.7227,positive,neutral
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,speaker,1,"So this may sound weird but hear me out. I lose a lot of sleep all the time, this is because I think about stuff too much, I jump to conclusions and make lots of connections that aren't there. It's like one of those scenes in movies where the guy is standing in front of a board with all the pictures and red string. I call it snowball brain because once I have one thought, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. All I want to know is if there's a technical name or if anyone else has it/knows about it. Thanks.",-0.3105,negative,apprehensive
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,listener_1,2,"I don’t know if it has a name, but practically everything you described applies to me",0.0,neutral,neutral
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,listener_2,3,"Read the comment from u/PleepPlop3 , maybe this could help you",0.4019,positive,suggesting
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,listener_3,4,i call it a spiral as well :),0.6249,positive,neutral
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,speaker,5,"Thanks allot actually, I searched mind spiral and found tons of helpful results, thank you!",0.8172,positive,acknowledging
530,MentalHealthSupport,I Have a Snowball Brain,speaker,6,That's really how it feels,0.0,neutral,agreeing
531,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like shit.,speaker,1,"I’m not really sure what I’m after here, I think I just feel as if getting it out somehow will make me feel better?   I was diagnosed with severe depression about 4 years ago now, and was on medication for two of those years - Sertraline and Fluexotine (unsure of the US names), however I came off them as I felt like they weren’t helping - my dosage was increased on a few occasions but ultimately I didn’t feel like I was getting any better regardless of the mg. I had weekly appointments with a counsellor when I was in college, as well as six sessions of counselling courtesy of the NHS, but I just felt like I was whinging for an hour, so when my six sessions were up I didn’t return.   When I bring up how I feel, people tell me I have no reason to be depressed, and they’re right, and my dad is adamant that there is nothing wrong with me, but that doesn’t change my brain chemistry. It doesn’t eradicate the voice in my head telling me that I’m worthless, unattractive, stupid, that there’s no point in trying to achieve things because I’m just going to fail. The fucking horrible voice that tells me my boyfriend deserves better so I should dump him, that I’m going to get hurt in the long run so I should just cut my losses and leave, or that I’m a horrible girlfriend so I should leave before I hurt him. The voice that tells me everyone is laughing at me when I go outside, that nobody likes me, and when I talk everyone is just waiting for me to shut up.   I’ve noticed lately that I’m a lot more irritable, my boyfriend talks to me and I snap at him, he tries to show me affection and I push him away because I feel undeserving and as if it’s fake. I’m scared that he’ll get fed up and leave me, and that’s the last thing in the world that I want. I’m not deliberately trying to push him away; I can see myself doing it but it’s like I can’t stop, and I hate it.   I don’t know what to do. I want to make a doctors appointment, but I’m scared the medication won’t work again, or it will turn me into an emotionless shell and I won’t be any better off. I’m scared that counselling will just make me feel pathetic; I can express my feelings when I don’t need to, but as soon as I sit down I struggle to express it, or I forget the examples.   I feel like I’m sinking.",-0.9956,negative,suggesting
531,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like shit.,listener_1,2,"Hey, I'm here if you need someone to talk to",0.0,neutral,caring
531,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like shit.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for this, honestly. You are a wonderful person, and I hope you are doing well ❤️",0.9287,positive,encouraging
531,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like shit.,listener_2,4,"I'm trying my best, sometimes I feel like giving up but I immediately talk with my bestfriend and it helps a lot. You'll find a way out someday, just don't give up ;)",0.5928,positive,trusting
532,MentalHealthSupport,No support when struggling,speaker,1,"Hello! I’ve been struggling lately with my symptoms of ptsd (diagnosed professionally). I am unsure how to handle it. I can barely sleep. When I am sleeping, I have terrible vivid dreams that I get confused with real life. Flashbacks haunt me during the day. I have to constantly keep my mind busy so it doesn’t get so bad. I don’t have any friends I trust to talk about these things with. And I don’t know how to personally help myself. I go to therapy, but it doesn’t seem to help me truly heal. I feel like all therapy does is validate that I’ve been through trauma and that time will heal. I want the healing now.  Any tips?",0.846,positive,lonely
532,MentalHealthSupport,No support when struggling,listener_1,2,"hey there. i know what that's like. it's difficult to heal from trauma when there's nobody with gauze when you accidentally open the wound again. it's been a difficult journey, and i'm still dealing with the cause of the trauma. it's hard.  onto what i came here to do. i'm here for you, okay? you can stumble into my messages whenever you'd like. i'll be here to listen and help. vent all you'd like. complain all you'd like. say as little or as much as you'd like. you deserve support. you're not alone.",0.5632,positive,agreeing
532,MentalHealthSupport,No support when struggling,speaker,3,Thank you so much! Your words mean the world to me! I’m here for you too. No one should ever have to be alone! You’re very strong!,0.6201,positive,caring
533,MentalHealthSupport,"Just venting. If anyone cares to read this, thank you stranger.",speaker,1,"I was just thinking of ending things. A quick way out. I don't even know why. I'm in a relationship, I have a job I actually like and no financial problems. Still, small things that would make a normal person frown but nothing more make me loose it. I get annoyed with my girlfriend for the most meaningless shit. I cracked a tooth today eating a chocolate bar and kept it together at work. After work, I was considering taking my life yet again, a thought that often crosses my mind out of nowhere. I drove in my car and was considering just crossing lanes and end it on the grill of a truck.  Today,my girlfriend happened to be calling just then. I was mean to her, even though nothing of this is her fault. She is a wonderful person. Deep down I know there is no way I deserve her. But she says otherwise. Still, I keep pushing her away when I'm in my dark moods. Rational thinking is hard when it's like that, even though I usually am the ""cold, analytical type"" (not my words). I think I am too unstable to be a good choice for a relationship to be honest. And I know being with me hurts her a lot. But I'm not brave enough to tell her I'm aware of that, and that it's killing me to see her suffer because I'm in one of my moods again. I love her, more than anything in my life. I don't want to lose her, but at the same time, I don't feel like I deserve to be her man and I don't deserve to have her in my life.   I also don't want to get help. It's still a stigma where I live, and it's also something I can't see myself doing. I think I will carry on. Until I break. Once I do, this will be over.",-0.9635,negative,ashamed
533,MentalHealthSupport,"Just venting. If anyone cares to read this, thank you stranger.",listener_1,2,"Im sorry to hear you are having a rough day. Weather you deserve her or not, she is still with you because she cares about you. Also try and work over your fear of seeking help, finding the right therapist/counselor could change your life.",0.29600000000000004,positive,sympathizing
533,MentalHealthSupport,"Just venting. If anyone cares to read this, thank you stranger.",listener_2,3,could not say it better,-0.3412,negative,impressed
533,MentalHealthSupport,"Just venting. If anyone cares to read this, thank you stranger.",speaker,4,This is actually pretty solid. I think more people can benefit from this site.,0.7943,positive,confident
533,MentalHealthSupport,"Just venting. If anyone cares to read this, thank you stranger.",listener_3,5,Thank you! I think so too. I'm trying to get it out there because I think it's a great resource. :),0.8718,positive,agreeing
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,speaker,1,"Hello, i’m a very new active reddit user so please excuse the mistakes i might make...  As the title says i am bored out of my mind all of the time, close to nothing brings me joy. I am not sad but i feel completely empty and even what my friends and family are excited about i cannot bring myself to feel any sort of emotion towards it. It kind of confuses me, and i feel like I’m always out, watching my life from outside of my body, i disconnect from reality very often. I barely recognize myself in the mirror sometimes and half of my memories i live from spectator pov.  I do not know if it has any explanation or if i should see someone, it’s just constantly here and i don’t know how to react to it. Thank you if you read it to there, and / or if you have any advice",0.8568,positive,sympathizing
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,listener_1,2,"I know this kind of feeling. Did you talk to a close friend or family member? If not, then do it. It helped me a lot, maybe this could help you too. And if this not works you can talk to a therapist. (It’s nothing someone should shame about. It’s absolutely okay to seeking for help. ) I can tell u that it doesn‘t get better from today to tomorrow, but that is okay too. Take your time and it will get better.",0.925,positive,suggesting
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,speaker,3,"I’ve talked to my family a bit but they don’t take it seriously. Friends don’t understand but they are supportive and i’m glad they are here. Thank you a lot for commenting, i feel less alone now.",0.902,positive,grateful
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,listener_1,4,"Your‘e welcome, that was my intention. If you want to talk more about it, then text me private. I will listen to you and maybe I can help you a bit.",0.7184,positive,suggesting
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,speaker,5,"Thanks, I’ll look it up for sure!",0.6696,positive,agreeing
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,speaker,6,"Thank you for the link, i’ll look it up!",0.4199,positive,wishing
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,speaker,7,"I’m still under my parent’s control.  they don’t take it seriously so i have no idea on how to seek help, but yeah I’d probably have to at some point.",0.3753,positive,apprehensive
534,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing brings me joy.,listener_2,8,You’re welcome! :),0.7424,positive,wishing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,1,"background information that'll make things easier to digest:  i'm a 14 girl, and i suffer from numerous mental illnesses (all based around my shitty childhood).  please keep in mind that my age doesn't mean i'm here to complain about bullshit (eg., break up with a girl i dated for 15 hours, my dad won't take me to hot topic, i wasn't able to go to that one concert that happened a while ago).  but this also isn't a shitty little nOt liKe thE oTheR gIRLs thing either.  thanks.  ---  i've hit a brick wall. i've been doing so well for the last few months, residing happily in the comfort of summer break. but it seems that as of now, my mental health is slipping out from under me. i've spent the last week crying in my room, falling back into old self destructive habits, and hurting the people that i care about. and i can only really think of a couple major factors.  i recently went on vacation for me and my twin brothers birthday. we went to countries we've never visited, made memories, taken risks, and acquired a very rad friend. it was *fun*, so why do i feel like shit now?  maybe it's because school is right around the corner, looking over me. and this wouldn't usually be a big deal for me, since im a bit of a nerd who gives a little too much of a shit about my education. it's a big deal now. i'm going to high school. i know, i'm young. this school will have double the kids and half the tolerance for bullshit.   honestly, i'm terrified. what if some of my classmates are rowdy, rude, insensitive, or just plain annoying? what if the teachers like to be the emotional puppeteers, pulling strings at random to scare the students? what if it's too much for my mental health to handle?  i would like to bring back the ""nerd"" label. i'm a ""smart kid"", okay? i'm entering high school with a schedule that says ""pre-calculus"" on it. i enjoy learning, and im a self-proclaimed writer (even though i'm really shit at it). i'm trying to get into a ivy-league college with a 7% acceptance rate (princeton university, go tigers!). the teachers that i get aren't here for a cute little tango. they're going to be rough. we can handle it, right?  i'm afraid that my mental health will get in the way of my academic success. i hold my mental health on a high pedestal because, for me, it'll make or break the rest of my life. i can't learn and focus and keep up if all i'm thinking about is how wonderful it would be to take a trip over the second-story windowsill. i can't excel if all i'm thinking about is where to go if i have another panic attack, because the one in the bathroom earlier seemed unfinished.  maybe i'm just being paranoid and letting myself overthink, like always. but i'd like to hold on to that little sliver of hope. the sliver that says ""you're not alone in what you're going through right now"". if that hope is real... then i think this post will have been worth it.  thanks for taking the time to read this. even if you just skimmed it, i'm happy to see you here. i hope you all have a nice day/night, and thanks again. -🐀",0.9878,positive,neutral
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,listener_1,2,"If you need someone to talk to, you can message me",0.0,neutral,questioning
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,3,thank you so much! i'll keep that in mind! :),0.7256,positive,wishing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,4,"i'm making a not to mention the points i made in this post to my therapist next week. and thank you so much. it's hard to feel like people are there when you're stumbling through the dark, y'know? and by the way, if you fall back, i'm here for ya. just an offer. :)",0.7458,positive,neutral
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,5,"thank you! i'm immensely sorry to hear that you didn't get the help you needed. i don't have parental figures who help me. they try, yes, but it's like a toddler trying to help build a tower. they think they're helping and it's a nice gesture, but they actually just messed up the project. many of my mental needs have been swept under the rug by them, which is incredibly hard to handle. and if anybody knows about stuff like that, it seems to be you.   i have apps to help me, but they can only do so much. youper is my go-to, by the way. i have researched for countless hours about what my illnesses do to me, and what can happen if i don't take action. it's a scary thing to read, but it's motivating. and yes, we're all on the same boat, terrified. it's just difficult to believe it sometimes. nerd are very rad, yes! the family is incredible. :)",0.9363,positive,sympathizing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,listener_2,6,"I'm glad you do so! It'll help a lot, trust me on that one. It might be one hell of a bumpy ride but you'll get there.  And i get it, sometimes it feels lonely or your mind is that blurry that you can sense their resident but you're not truly alert. And don't worry, i highly prefer to keep talking to my psychologist as things might be too pressuring for another. However in that case; same to you. Don't be afraid to message me, I'll try to support and help you the best again. Maybe give some tips with coping if i have them",0.797,positive,agreeing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,7,"it helps, yes! that's understandable, psychologists are trained to help, while many other aren't. i share that feeling. i'll keep you in mind, you seem to be a very rad person!",0.8018,positive,agreeing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,listener_3,8,"That's okay! I'm a stronger person for what I've been through, and it gave me tools to help the next generation. What works for a lot of people in your situation, where parents are well-meaning but completely inept? You can take over your medical care. It's daunting at first, but if you've done the research, you can absolutely make your own appointments, etc.",0.8268,positive,agreeing
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,9,"i'm proud of you! growth is a difficult thing! that's a nice idea, but i'm not sure i fully trust myself. i'm trying to shift a majority of the weight to my therapist, because she knows what she's doing.",0.7924,positive,neutral
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,listener_2,10,"Glad you see it that way. And thank you dear, same to you!",0.8122,positive,acknowledging
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,11,it's no problem! and thank you!,0.6533,positive,acknowledging
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,listener_3,12,"Well, I believe in you, and I hope that things get better.  As a side note... Rats are the best!",0.908,positive,trusting
535,MentalHealthSupport,voicing my worries,speaker,13,"thank you! i'm sure they will, it takes a lot of time though.  and rats are the coolest :)",0.7959,positive,acknowledging
536,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist struggling with MH,speaker,1,"Hey everyone, LONG post ahead.   I am a licensed mental health professional working in the field for the greater part of a decade. I can’t tell if I have treatment resistant depression or just plain anhedonia.  Background : lifetime with anxiety, depressive symptoms since my teens, PMS since I started menstruating, and what feels like Post Partum.  I’ve always had these symptoms but they’ve never been extremely severe more like would pass in a day or two, was clearly able to graduate college and grad school, sustain a healthy loving marriage and begin raising my first child.   I was on Prozac for a few months but they stopped working 6 months in(despite upping dose) so with Doctors approval began cutting back (May possibly try for another pregnancy soon)  So it’s been about 3-4 weeks since my last reduced dose of Prozac and I’ve been feeling really down. I’ve never experienced these symptoms for soo long and without any improvements. I do not engage in self harm and am not suicidal. I don’t think I’m severe enough for inpatient or intensive outpatient but currently therapy doesn’t feel like it’s helping. Like i said I am interested in trying for another baby so not interested in medication at this moment.   Wondering if any other therapists/mental health pros have ever experienced this themselves and what steps they took to feeling better.  I seriously feel like I’m stuck in a (depressive) rut. I mentioned the anhedonia because I am not finding I am enjoying any of the things I used to enjoy.   I am motivated to get better.",0.9922,positive,anxious
536,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist struggling with MH,listener_1,2,"Therapy for therapists: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  Free, private, anonymous, online. Created by a psychologist (Dr. Margaret Paul) for all people, but works great for therapists who need someone who understands where they're coming from. So you'll probably recognize some CBT and DBT in there, but her approach is a bit different. Maybe it will help.  You can also reach out to Dr. Margaret Paul directly if you want to as well:  [https://www.innerbonding.com/show-page/99/work-with-dr-margaret-paul.html](https://www.innerbonding.com/show-page/99/work-with-dr-margaret-paul.html)   It sounds like you're suffering from a combo of just regular mental health issues and symptoms of stepping down off your Prozac.",0.9349,positive,trusting
536,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist struggling with MH,speaker,3,Thanks sooo much for responding!  I will definitely look into this site. Thank you again!,0.8264,positive,agreeing
536,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist struggling with MH,listener_1,4,You’re very welcome! I hope it helps! :),0.9125,positive,encouraging
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,speaker,1,"I'm absolutely petrified of driving or even just being in a car with reckless drivers. I had a bad experience when I was younger when my father drove reckless when he was high. But anyway.. I still get effected by this now as I'm constantly anxious when being in a car due to worrying about crashes or other drivers, etc. It's a pressure when I wanna learn how to drive as I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to get behind the wheel and drive myself without having a panic attack. If I ever hurt anyone else.. i don't think I could ever forgive myself. Thoughts?",-0.9625,negative,afraid
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry I cannot give good advice, but just so you know, you’re not alone. I, too, am an extremely petrified driver and I’m holding off on getting my license for awhile. We’re both in the same boat",-0.7125,negative,sympathizing
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,speaker,3,It's nice to know someone else feels the same. Most people my age have all passed their tests already and have cars. (I'm 18).  I'm not in the financial position either to even consider getting a car. I know there's no rush but I almost feel like I'm behind. Maybe it'll be different when we actually get into the car and drive ourselves. I've been told there's a massive difference when you drive yourself as you have complete control. Even that in itself is terrifying though.,-0.4437,negative,jealous
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,listener_1,4,"Yeah I totally understand that. My parents are practically forcing me to get my license by the end of my junior year this year (17), and I’m totally not prepared. A lot of my classmates already have their licenses and tease me for not having mine. It’s stressful man, I get it. Let’s just hope that we both get though it! I had a friend who didn’t get her license until after she graduated, so it’s ok to do that as well. I don’t have much to say but hopefully we both eventually succeed ^^",0.8959,positive,agreeing
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,speaker,5,"I agree, best wishes to you! Ignore those that tease you, we all do things at different times :)",0.7777,positive,wishing
537,MentalHealthSupport,Hopefully going to start driving lessons soon,listener_1,6,Best of luck to you too!,0.8172,positive,wishing
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",speaker,1,"I just moved in a house and I hate it. I had an apartment it was small and expensive, but my mom was leaving her house and the mortgage was super cheap ($471) so I took her up on her offer of moving in. I got in and instantly felt so out of place. I suffer from bpd,depression and anxiety so that doesn't make it any easier. She left the house a mess like spider webs  EVERYWHERE and just filth. I have been there a week now and I am so overwhelmed and I feel out of control.  I began to clean and instantly I see mouse droppings all over the closet and mouse traps through the house. Never knew she had a rodent problem now I'm even more on the edge. I can't sleep I have kids and I feel gross. Does anyone have any advice on how to get them out and stay out. Or should I just move out?",-0.3238,negative,disgusted
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",listener_1,2,can you hire mighty maids or some cleaning service?,0.0,neutral,questioning
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",speaker,3,I have looked into those but they are very expensive. The home I live in is a big old one..,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",speaker,4,You're right.. that's a good idea.. thank you for your response,0.6597,positive,agreeing
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",listener_1,5,cheaper than moving.,0.0,neutral,neutral
538,MentalHealthSupport,"Spiders, Mice, and Filth O My",speaker,6,True,0.4215,positive,faithful
539,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy that won't bankrupt me,speaker,1,"I've always known that I had some deep rooted issues related to inferiority complex, feeling of worthlessness, self harm, etc. that needed dealing with but like a lot of us, I never ended up taking it seriously for the longest time and never actually believed any other person could help cure it. I used to try speaking with my family but that never helped. It's gone to an extent where it's affecting every single aspect of my life, from social interaction where I let everyone walk all over me and take advantage of me to professional scenarios where I feel like I'm not capable of anything smart so I might as well not try at all. I've spoken to some friends who've told me that they got help and it really made a difference in their lives. I want to give therapy a shot but I'm not in a position to spend $20+ per week on it because I'm literally a new grad, looking for jobs with a very small bank balance at the moment. I can probably afford about $10-15 max per week at least until I get a stable job, but I feel like I've put this off long enough and I need to take action now. Does anyone have any recommendations for free clinics or therapists in training or something that don't charge a bomb? I've tried online sessions where you chat with a person over text but I didn't like that. I need actual face to face interaction, atleast video chatting. Looking for any recommendations on what I can do. Thanks in advance.",0.9888,positive,trusting
539,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy that won't bankrupt me,listener_1,2,"You are very strong! Acknowledging you need help is hard. I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard BetterHelp is a good app that does counseling through different formats. I haven’t heard it’s a lot of money. I also just learned about a free workshop for adults run by inner pathways.org. I’ve done one so far, and it’s been really helpful already. It might be able to help you self reflect and work through things until you can afford more expensive therapy! Best of luck! And I’m here if you need any advice!",0.9865,positive,hopeful
539,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy that won't bankrupt me,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, I shall check that out!",0.4199,positive,wishing
540,MentalHealthSupport,Text based therapy,speaker,1,I have an interesting dilemma I have social anxiety and a bit of agoraphobia so I don’t like leaving my house unless I absolutely have to. And I was wanting to get back into therapy. I see that some counselors are doing video chat sessions. But my noisy roommates would eavesdrop. So I was wondering if you knew of any therapist that would do therapy through an online chat forum?,-0.0047,neutral,questioning
540,MentalHealthSupport,Text based therapy,listener_1,2,"I don't know any. And I'm not one either. But if you need someone to text, maybe I can help you.",0.5499,positive,suggesting
540,MentalHealthSupport,Text based therapy,speaker,3,Thanks. I’ll check that out.,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
540,MentalHealthSupport,Text based therapy,speaker,4,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,1,"This happened about two nights ago now. It's still affecting me. I was getting drunk with a few friends and one of them was so drunk that he needed to sleep on my couch, which was fine. After a while, he tried convincing me to have sex with him. I was conflicted because I liked him but it didn't feel right, I was nearly falling asleep and couldn't even push him off of me. He was biting me and pulling off my shorts and I couldn't even get any fucking words out. He was talking dirty to me while I was trying to figure out how to get it to stop. I'm glad he actually did get off of me after getting the message that I didn't want to do anything. He scared me so much. At the moment I tried not to be upset about it, but thinking that I was almost fucking raped while nearly passing out is really getting to me. I don't know what to do to make myself feel okay again. I deal with depression and anxiety and this situation has made me feel shittier lately.",-0.9684,negative,faithful
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_1,2,"Tell the police. What he did is not okay. And if you need someone to talk to, you can message me.",-0.1695,negative,angry
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_2,3,"I understand the regret of not reporting anything to police because of some internalized obligation to do some social good (I never reported when I was assaulted by someone I was very close with) but I don’t think that pressuring someone to make a police report right now, who needs mental and emotional support first and foremost, is really necessary. It’s a lot of undue burden and guilt, and it’s only another source of stress for not reporting to a system that we can’t trust to do the right thing for victims of sexual assault.   Op, focus on your self-care right now. You went through a lot and unless a police report is something YOU want to do, I want to remind you that it’s completely okay if you’re not feeling up for it.",-0.8901,negative,guilty
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,4,"idk what i could say to the police, there's no evidence and he didn't actually do it.. thank you, i figured it'd be good to actually talk about it. i just feel sick, i don't know how to process it i guess",-0.128,negative,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,5,The same happened to me and I was drunk as well. I really wished I called the police but you’re right there’s no evidence. Please do what I couldn’t and cut contact with him. With time you’ll heal from it,-0.7931,negative,consoling
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,6,"i want to cut contact but it's hard. i liked him so much, but he did that and yeah he said sorry but it's just ot easy to forgive.",0.8898,positive,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,7,"thank you so much, i needed to hear this. ❤ i'm gonna get over him and hopefully emotionally recover from that bullshit situation.",0.6808,positive,consoling
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,8,The guy who did it to me loved me for two years would literally do anything. But his carnal desire is dangerous. Are you okay with dating someone who almost raped you? Would you be okay if your daughter or sister was in the same relationship?,-0.4158,negative,trusting
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_4,9,You got this!!!,0.0,neutral,angry
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,10,"no i wouldn't, i couldn't imagine myself ever dating him. he's the kind of guy that fucks a lot of girls and honestly wouldn't care about it if we did have sex.",-0.6031,negative,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,11,And you still like him. So clearly breaking contact is the wisest thing to do,0.8221,positive,agreeing
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,12,"thank you so much. i don't think i could file one even if i wanted to, there's no evidence. and i don't feel unsafe or anything so i don't think the stress would be worth it.",0.5472,positive,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,13,Definitely disagree. Alcohol heightens who you really are. Helps you do things you wouldn’t normally do,0.4549,positive,agreeing
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,speaker,14,"you're right, i haven't talked to him lately and it's helping kind of",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_5,15,"But this does not directly mean that is their default person. As well as this, alcohol makes you forget what's going on about you, not picking up on social queues, things like that, so I say it's very possible he thought she wanted to have sex with him, but could not until a few mins in pick up on the fact she didn't, as he did back off",0.5499,positive,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,16,If she was asleep then no. If he was kissing her forehead or holding her hand that’s fine but he was taking drastic measures on someone unconscious,0.5927,positive,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,I was almost raped by someone I liked.,listener_3,17,Don’t go back and keep this going. Within a month you’ll be strong enough to leave it behind,0.4767,positive,questioning
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_6,1,My siblings went out to explore a forest which wasn't far from my house and after a long time they haven't returned and I imagined that they got killed by someone and I liked the thought of that and what chaos it would cause but then I instantly felt guilty for thinking that and I shouldn't be thinking of that. They returned home safely and i was glad they were okay but deep down I was a tiny bit dissapointed. I feel extremely guilty for feeling this way and I don't want to have these thoughts and are these thoughts normal?,-0.1222,negative,guilty
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_4,2,My main question is: do they treat you well always? Did they treat you well when you guys were younger? A lot of what I know about these kinds of thoughts is that it comes from being mistreated by people and thinking them being gone would free the person of further treatment,0.9054,positive,questioning
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_6,3,They treat me well and I love them very much,0.8402,positive,caring
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_4,4,"I’m glad they do! Then, I would say it’s more of what I call in myself a gremlin. Sometimes, my brain gets overwhelmed by the past or present that I have dark thoughts appear. To me, it’s normal as long as you’re okay and they are okay. I would never act on the thoughts. I acknowledge them and then try to figure out what could be making me feel this level of darkness and sadness.",0.3382,positive,grateful
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_6,5,Okay thank you that was helpful. I will try to figure out what's making me think these thoughts,0.7351,positive,neutral
541,MentalHealthSupport,Is this normal?,listener_4,6,"It’s a lot of self reflection! I haven’t tried google for it, but I bet there is blogs about the same thing. Journaling would be a good place to start to see if anything pops up. Free writing (where I just write whatever comes to mind) usually gets me to what’s bothering me",0.7345,positive,suggesting
542,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted years,speaker,1,"So before I begin I want to thank everyone for reading this. I have put off writing this post or telling anyone the intimate details of my teenage years to spare them the emotional burden, which has just lead to my mental health declining more and more rapidly.   So a little backstory: I grew up in a very wealthy family, that appreciated money, but never boasted about it - did some quite luxurious activities, such as traveling to Europe/ Asia/ Africa once or twice a year every year, however they never spoiled me written. During my elementary school years I changed schools an insane number of times. Once halfway through first grade, at the end of first grade, after 3 weeks of second grade for my dads, at the end of second grade back to my hometown and original that I was in the first half of first grade, at the end of 3rd grade to try some wacky Montessori school 45mins away from my house, after 2 months of 4th grade to another Montessori school, at the end of 5th grade back to my original public school, which I had now spent Kindergarten, half of first grade, and third grade there, and finally switched halfway through fifth to a very expensive private school, which is where I would stay for until the beginning of 10th grade. Al these school changes never allowed me to easily develop a close group of friends and made me constantly feel stressed about going to school and finding a group I could connect with.   Jumping to the beginning of 6th grade, I had found my best friend, and became friends with his few friends at my new private school. This kid, let’s call him Tom, allowed me to feel safe and secure at my school, even if I didn’t get along the best with him at times. My friendship with Tom was very close, and I had develop a reliable, and relatively good group of friends come high school. I had always been the semi-odd, who was picked last in activities, as almost felt like the last resort, however not unusable. Apparently my mother sensed some sort of anguish during my time at that school and decided to take drastic measures. They signed me up for an exchange program with an origination that placed the students into host families. At the time this idea sounded awful, so I complained, but as time went on, and they had told me that I was already singled up, I grew accustomed with the idea - even cherishing the idea of pure freedom, with very little accountability for my actions (remember, I was 15), but as time progressed and the reality of my departure augmented, I became quickly hesitant and resistant towards my new life. I refused to speak to my host family on the phone, with the exception of simply acknowledging them once or twice on the phone prior to my arrival. Come departure time, my mother flew with me to the organization’s convention, she spent one night there and departed the following morning. After a day of icebreakers with fellow students, we departed for Paris, and this is where the most convoluted and distorted moments of my life occurred.   I met my host family at the train station in Paris, recognizing them through pictures I had seen previously. Trying to overcome my anxiety of the situation, I eagerly hugged them, with a big smile on my face. The car ride home was relatively quiet, with my host family refraining from making much of the standard small talk ( which they could have because I was fluent in French). I arrive at their house, which was quite large. I had my own room, and was happy with the living situations. I had a host brother, who was only 6 months younger than me (14), and had a good spirit about him. However, come the first day of school, things take a quick turn for the worse.   The school system sucked, my host mother signed me up for the local middle school on accident, thinking I was in 9th grade instead of 10th, since my host brother was in 9th, and French middle schools runs from 6th-9th. The kids on the bus were quite aggressive and loud. They would yell slogans such as “Ay, L’Americain!”, and other phrases to make me feel like an outsider. The school had a huge metal fence surrounding the perimeter, and the students used a book which granted them permission to enter and exit the premises. This book was called “Carnier” in French, and it had the students schedule, and disciplinary notes from the administrators. I did not fit in there, because the students very the forthcoming and blunt with their character, which caught me offguard. After some persuasion from my actual mother, I was switched into the proper school (high school), and was around kids my own age. However, things only to a turn for the worst, as the safety of that school environment was only worse. They still had ‘carniers’, with bouncers...oops I mean teachers at the doors allowing you in and out. The teachers frequently would not arrive to school resulting in the students having that class period off, the students would speak very loudly in class with very little regard for the teacher, and the teachers would retaliate by screaming back at the students to shut up, and if the students didn’t, they would simply stop teaching and threaten to leave the class. Turns, out I went to the second worse high school in all of France, what a surprise! The kids weren’t simply disrespectful, they were downright scary. They all had their own posies and would travel in groups. Although they weren’t actually that dangerous, my mind blew it out of proportion, constantly thinking that I was on the brink of getting jumped or robbed at any moments notice. This lead to a variety of physical symptoms, such as excessive sweating, an elevated heart rate, and a voice in my head constantly commanding safety concerns, such as “Don’t look! Smile! Ignore them! Look down! Etc.” My emotions turned into robotic actions, which made it a bit easier to bare the pain of being away from comfort. On top of all this, my house had a shitty TV, with 2 usable channels, and a WiFi connection - I say a WiFi connection because only 1 person could be on the WiFi at a time, and my host brother was constantly on it. This lead to me blankly staring at 4 white walls tuning everything out for hours and hours and hours, resulting in the days becoming a horrific blur, filled with emotional turmoil and repressed anger. There would literally be days in school we’re I wouldn’t say 1 word to a single person and maybe a grand total off 100 words at home. During my stay in France I contacted my friends and family from back home very infrequently, because I didn’t want them to be aware of the pain I was in, afraid of the fact that my remaining safety valances would be tampered. My 1 year commitment fell short in January, when my parents told me that I had to come and return to school in the US, otherwise I would have to repeat 10th grade. There was 1 catch - I switching schools again, but this time from a small 400 kid school to an insanely large public high school with 4000 kids.  The public school was truly huge. There were 3 separate buildings, with one end of the campus to the other end being a 10 minute walk. I would almost never walk by the same teacher/ student, twice in one day, unless they were in my class. I fell into a state of complete paranoia. I literally brought changes of shirts to school and deodorant due to the ridiculous amount of sweat I was emitting. I would stutter and my hands/ feet would shake regularly. I would walk down the hallways with so much tension and anxiety that I would become lightheaded, and sometimes saw black fuzzy pixel like objects in my vision. 10th grade was simply the worst year.  The start of 11th grade wasn’t better - it was sinking different. After the first couple months the fear and stress dwindled, however for the wrong reasons. I simply distanced myself from anything. I would find people I could bare and call my friends, and wouldn’t speak unless promoted to. The entire day was spent theorizing in my head of different possibilities ( I’m an INTP, so it’s easy to do). Towards the end of 11th grade I was tired of this submissive lifestyle and took a change. I began working out frequently, e.g. 6-7 days a week, 2-3 hours a day. I would use excessive weight, secretly hoping to gain acceptance from the people of the gym and bodybuilding became my lifestyle, and more importantly my identity. It gave me a reason to feel superior to others, since I spent my time more productively and was slightly stronger than them (even though I I honestly wasn’t). I would walk around with my last flared, with this ‘don’t fuck with me attitude’. This behavior lasted all through senior year and the beginning of my freshman year in college.  Towards the end of freshman year I began to self-reflect on my daily actions and have realized that I am still in a constant fight- or flight mode. The difference being that I am always on fight, compared to the previous flight in 10th grade. I really hate this new me. I am emotionless, and have not allowed myself to feel anything, even if it’s simply pleasurable. I saw food as a chore, leisurely time as a waste, and life as a bitch.   This brings me to today. I am about to start my second year of college, and want to change the trajectory of my college experience - afraid of a repeat from highschool. I’m reaching out to you reddit with the hopes that you have advice on how to form a new identity. An identity which isn’t operated out of fear, but rather excitement to explore what life has to offer me. I want to not be “an emotionless bitch”, as my sister has described me previously, and have something to be proud about. Reddit please help me through my next phase of life and allow me to reconcile with a lost adolescence. Thank you",0.9935,positive,embarrassed
542,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted years,listener_1,2,"Hey Ethan, I’m really sorry to hear about the misfortune you experienced.  It sounds like you didn’t have the stability and social acceptance you needed during childhood, and I can imagine that that would cause mistrustful feelings in adulthood.  That said, it sounds like you are incredibly self aware and that you are ready to make a change.  It’s great that you’re recognizing now the value in finding joy and curiosity and excitement in your college years.  I think a big part of this transition will involve letting go of prior baggage and social insecurity so that you can make the most of life moving forward.  I hope that helps, although you would probably be best served by a mental health professional.  I wish all the best for you!",0.9887,positive,sympathizing
542,MentalHealthSupport,Wasted years,speaker,3,Thank you! It means a lot,0.4199,positive,acknowledging
543,MentalHealthSupport,Group anxiety,speaker,1,"I used to get bullied when I was younger through group chats. Years later, I was purposely ignored and excluded through group chats. Nowadays, I get freaked out in group chats or posts thinking that the people don’t want to talk to me, don’t like me, etc. I feel unwanted when I don’t get a reply. I’m not sure how to help myself with this. Any tips?",-0.8106,negative,afraid
543,MentalHealthSupport,Group anxiety,listener_1,2,"I experience social anxiety and even around my closest friends, I find myself wondering if I fit in.  When I meditate around this, I have learned that it appears I have a need to be validated in my social circle, even though this is not true.  I seem to relate to what you are saying because it seems you too are looking for validation in a group chat environment.  My conclusion around my own anxiety is that really I don't need any validation, and even though I feel the way I do, I do not let it overcome my understanding that I really do not need validation in any circle.  And really you don't  either.  I think it stems from a lack of self confidence.",0.5815,positive,apprehensive
543,MentalHealthSupport,Group anxiety,speaker,3,I completely agree. Lack of confidence gets to me a lot. I also think for me it’s partially fear of the treatment I’ve had before and my brain looks for warning signs so I won’t get hurt,-0.6689,negative,agreeing
543,MentalHealthSupport,Group anxiety,listener_1,4,"Hope you can overcome this anxiety, and the pleasant conversation we had today will help you gain more confidence and faith in reaching out when you need it.  There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help when you need it, there is something wrong with those who make others feel uncomfortable when reaching out.  All the best.",0.9714,positive,trusting
544,MentalHealthSupport,"intense fear of death and whatnot, I guess I’d call it depression. I really don’t know, I just need help/inspiring words.",speaker,1,"I’ve always had lingering anxiety and depression problems but it was catapulted into the realm of constant miserableness around May. I had an ER visit after it was suggested by Urgent Care that I may have meningitis. I didn’t, but my intense anxiety towards all things medical and deadly led to me wasting over a thousand dollars to be told I wasn’t actually dying that day.   I mean I’ve always thought about death at late hours of the night as we all do, but it was mostly about my loved ones. It’s gotten to the point recently that it’s all the time. I can’t ever fully enjoy myself because I have intrusive thoughts. “Why does any of this matter if I’ll forget this someday and die and it’ll matter even less?”  Things got worse today as I knew they would since it was the first time I had to have a pet euthanized. I knew it was my dog’s time but it got me back thinking about death again. I’m usually a person who considers things from all perspective and chooses the most rational angle, so over the past few years I sort of fell into the realization that there’s absolutely nothing after death. It terrifies me. I’ve had “spiritual”/paranormal experiences that lead me to believe otherwise but I still don’t have 100% faith in them. The way I think just goes against that sort of thing along with religion.   But maybe I’m more scared of an actual afterlife? Should I live my life fearing some God?  I’m terrified of transforming into something that isn’t me and I’m put back on this Earth as a completely different person or animal(which sounds even more terrifying). I just got over my self-hatred and began to truly love myself and now I have to come to terms with the fact that I won’t be “me” forever.   I’m just so scared. It absolutely cripples me. I’m scared of wasting time. I’m scared of enjoying myself because I might be ultimately wasting time. Some days I feel like life is devoid of meaning. Why should I care? And what if I die young anyway and amount to nothing? I don’t want to feel that way. I want to enjoy myself. I just can’t for some reason. My family believes in God but that just isn’t for me. I want to believe the life-after-death stories but they can all be disproven.   It’s not like I’m emotionless and dull to everything, it’s that I feel too much negative feeling but my positive emotions are dulled and muddled. I just feel too much. I’m a mess. I snap at people and I really don’t want to.   And in the moments where I somehow overcome my fear of my own death, I move on to fearing my mother or sisters’ passings. Or even my future husband (if I even have one) or any of my best friends. I get that rest is well deserved after a long life and I know it’s selfish for me to not want them to get that eternal rest. I love life and I love everyone around me(except for my father who I blame for most of my problems due to childhood trauma). I get that to appreciate life there must be death. I just can’t stand the thought of any of it and it causes me to cry uncontrollably today like it never really has before apart from dark sleepless bouts of insomnia. I’m starting to think this is my new norm. I can’t get help because my mom works constantly and I don’t have a car or job yet. My dog’s death was right after my other childhood pets passed this year but this was the first I was  there for. It made me realize that my childhood is gone forever and my beloved companions are all gone too. That era is gone. I don’t want to be forgotten too.",-0.9953,negative,apprehensive
544,MentalHealthSupport,"intense fear of death and whatnot, I guess I’d call it depression. I really don’t know, I just need help/inspiring words.",listener_1,2,I unfortunately can't help but a lot can if you are to scared or unable to get professional help face to face just remember the internet is vast and can help in many ways (also open up to a friend it helps alot) I advise looking through the www.hse.ie website as it is very useful and helped me a lot my way of looking at life is that it useless unless you create a positive impact,0.9569,positive,agreeing
544,MentalHealthSupport,"intense fear of death and whatnot, I guess I’d call it depression. I really don’t know, I just need help/inspiring words.",speaker,3,"that’s the thing, I understand how amazing life is and I want to make a positive impact but I’m so worried about wasting time. I’m worried about life ending because I like it so much. I want my loved ones to always be there to experience it with me.",0.579,positive,apprehensive
545,MentalHealthSupport,I'm getting a bit worried,speaker,1,"Hello, everyone. Is it normal for me to pick at my skin multiple times a day? I have acne and I can't get my hands off my face or even the rest of my body. I pick at my scabs to the point of drawing blood sometimes and it's strange but oddly satisfying in a way. It's caused me a lot of scarring and I think it only makes the picking worse. I had a similar habit in the past as a kid when I would pluck out my hair and eyelashes, but I eventually controlled those urges. I find that playing games keeps my hands occupied but not for long. Tomorrow I'm heading to the store for a stress ball maybe that could help. What do you guys think?",0.2168,positive,annoyed
545,MentalHealthSupport,I'm getting a bit worried,listener_1,2,"Hello! It may just be a bad habit, but there’s also a name for a mental illness for this. (I’m a psych major so I’ve studied it before in college). The name of it is Excoriation disorder. It may help to research it. BUT if it is just a habit, I’ve had it as one (never the disorder). For me, I had to self examine to see why I was doing it. I learned it as a coping skill when my anxiety got too much. Whenever I noticed it happening, I told myself to stop. Over time, it got easier. I tended to do it on my arms and fingers so I wear longer sleeves and paint my nails really nice too. So for your face, you could try makeup or just being proud of a really good skin routine. That way your mind is like wait I don’t want to ruin what I’ve been working on. You’re strong! You can do it! I’m here if you need to talk it out more!",0.9396,positive,neutral
545,MentalHealthSupport,I'm getting a bit worried,speaker,3,Thank you so much! Today I cut and painted my nails so hopefully that can help :)),0.7835,positive,encouraging
545,MentalHealthSupport,I'm getting a bit worried,listener_1,4,No problem! I hope it does too!,0.6948,positive,encouraging
546,MentalHealthSupport,why are you so blue,speaker,1,"hello, im new here and to reddit too,i just typed mental health and this was the first to show in the results. Im still kinda nervous and undecided how am i going to express this shit that i dont understand inside me but here we go... I tried reaching  out to my friends, family and even to my partner, but i live in a family who believes that nothing could go wrong if u have a place to stay, clothes to wear, food to eat and university to attend, and if u still have problem with your life then you're just one ungrateful shit... and Im starting to think that maybe im an ungrateful one, It's really hard specially when deep down inside i know how much im grateful of everything that i have, the means to survive in this world, but i dont understand what the hell is wrong with me, Ive been fighting this since 2nd year HS and when i told my mom she just told me that its in just my head, i thought she was right, so i kept my self busy, joining every org, spending lots of time with friends and i must say yes it was a good experience but the feeling never go away it was always there, hiding in the shadows and taking over me when im alone. My hands would shake uncontrollably when it caught me, most times i would have to pinch my self or bury my nails in my palms so it would stop, for years i thought it would work just as long as i have ways to get rid of it when it comes to me... but those ways aren't working anymore and im in my 4th year college now.   It started to not work when i was in my 1st year college, my mom said i should study psychology, my first thought was they dont even believe in mental health, they call people who did suicide dramatic people and ungrateful of what they have. second, i wanted to study engineering or architecture, but she insisted, so i did, in the first term i felt every single inch of me sickening, i couldnt get up, i couldnt eat, most times i would catch my self daydreaming, but i stayed up till its late in the library so i could catch up with my lessons and not to disappoint my mom, it was good, 2nd term i told my mom psych is not working with me, i just cant get my focus, i cant finish a single task, even a simple house chore i can finish, its feels so hard to move or even just staying awake, i told my self that its just me being lazy that i can do it, of other can why cant I? it kinda worked then i got an offer in a known university in my country, i thought it would be a good chance since there is no tuition to pay and that maybe my mom would allow me to study a degree that i really want, but she never did allow me, yes i transffered but in the same degree and as a 2nd year college, it was good at first, new environment, new people, new university culture way more fun than the first, only that i have to travel 2-3 hours from home to school and another 2-3 hours from school to home every day, if im lucky and there is no traffic 1 an a half hour is a blessing.   i thought everything is going to be fine now, there is no reason for me to feel any shit, i got money, clothes, good university, a lover. wht else in God's blessing, but honest to goodness i still feel different.   so again i tried telling my family, they laughed at me for weeks, told me what kind of a trashy mindset i have and that maybe mom shoulve left in my dad because my dad is schizo and that maybe im like him. It really hurt me more when they told me those kind of stuffs, o felt useless and ungrateful and undeserving of the things they give me but i also felt alone, i thought family will always be the first one to be there when u fall and help u get up and understand me, but i feel like no one understands me, not even my own partner. My partner always gets mad at me when i try to open up or like cuts me when gets a hint that im about to open up or most times like change topic, if my partner doesnt get mad im lucky but mostly kinda shows disinterest on me when im down and just stayed with me and shows more love and care when i act jolly and happy.   i dont know how to deal with this anymore, i tried so many times to reach out to them, but i felt no one takes me seriously for years, its really getting hard to live with a heavy heart everyday, i may have mastered the art of faking smiles and laughs and hiding pain but these past few months i feel really weak and hopeless and alone.   I filed dismissal in my degree even though im incoming 4th year because i cant take it anymore and also i had so many back subjects and failed some because i cant finish essays and requirements in time, also since 2nd term in 2nd year i sleep like a dead, i dont know why, but no matter how long i sleep i just still feel tired and sleepy, i dont even  feel hungry, there was this time i sleep for almost 30 hours. but these days i sleep 12-13 hours. My family of course is really angry at me, they said that im hopeless and that they thought they raised me well but i only turn up into a mess like my father. i still live here in our house but they kind of make it to the point at me where ""do what you want in life we dont care but as soon as u finish ur study leave this house, we'll let you stay so there's nothing u can say anything about us""   these past few months ive been considering death, because maybe that way i wont have to be a burden to my  partner or my family. I feel horrible because maybe im such a bad kid to my mom or my fam, i try not to be, i wanted to make them proud, i wanted to do everything specially in terms of my academics to make them proud but im a failure. i feel unappreciative but at the same time alone because they kinda make me feel that im trying to make them feel bad because im like this or because im telling them im like this when the only reason i tell them that something is wrong with me because i still believe even just a little that they would understand me and help me. But i only ended up becoming an unpreciative person.   i feel that for the year that had passed i just got worse and that maybe i should end it because im hopeless.  my partner even told me that im such a burden and cant take it anymore, told me that cant love a person like me who is always too much and theres no in between, i didnt kinda get it, but they told me that there s no in between in me in everything i do, its either im too happy or too sad, too sleeping or not sleeping at all, too good or too mad just everything... and tbh, i didnt see my self like that but maybe my partner is right, i have grown and become a horrible person, and i feel it too there is something wrong with me i just cant understand why when i have a stable life. i feel so undeserving, i dont deserve this fam, my partner, my uni, my stuff.   thankyou if you reached this part, this is the first time i did this because maybe im desperate to let it out, desperate to know if im normal or just an ungrateful one. sorry for taking so much of your time. sorry and hello, i feel so blue, if you are too, why are you so blue? i hope we can all make it.",-0.9964,negative,apprehensive
546,MentalHealthSupport,why are you so blue,listener_1,2,"Let me say this loud and clear: mental health issues have NOTHING to do with gratitude, lifestyle, financial status, living arrangements... They can hit anyone anywhere at any time.  Your family is wrong.",0.4215,positive,angry
546,MentalHealthSupport,why are you so blue,speaker,3,"thank you for letting me know that its not about me being ungrateful, its really great to know once in a while that someone out there understands me..   but im not gonna lie tho, i dont know what else to do, i dont know how to deal with my self, with my academic problems, with the people around me, and the person that i truly love is going to leave me.",0.8499,positive,grateful
546,MentalHealthSupport,why are you so blue,listener_1,4,"The best bet if you can do it is to see a doctor and talk to them about what's going on. You definitely need support with this, possibly some medication to help with the worst of the symptoms. It's not the kind of thing that just goes away.",0.802,positive,agreeing
547,MentalHealthSupport,Grateful for this group.,speaker,1,"Feeling better already, just knowing this is a safe space.",0.743,positive,trusting
547,MentalHealthSupport,Grateful for this group.,listener_1,2,"I'm glad to hear that. Safe spaces are incredibly important when your world is a bit rocky.  I love the compassion in this group. No judgement, some tough love when needed, and always some encouragement.",0.9612,positive,grateful
547,MentalHealthSupport,Grateful for this group.,speaker,3,We are fortunate!,0.4926,positive,grateful
547,MentalHealthSupport,Grateful for this group.,speaker,4,That sucks 🐦,-0.3612,negative,acknowledging
547,MentalHealthSupport,Grateful for this group.,speaker,5,😊,0.7184,positive,annoyed
548,MentalHealthSupport,Everyday life feels overwhelming,speaker,1,I have recently recovered from 9 years of an eating disorder. I struggle with anxiety and I find my own feelings incomprehensible to even myself because I dealt with traumatic events in the past by emotionally separating myself from them. Now I don't know how to become in touch with my own emotions anymore. I feel things or I don't feel things and I don't always understand why. I'm applying for grad school this coming semester and I'm doing everything to keep my grades up as school gets harder and more demanding. my boyfriend of six years just found out his mother has six months to live. I'm desperately trying to support him while holding myself together. But the more overwhelmed I become the more I find myself sitting by myself in a room doing nothing but trying to sort out my thoughts as time feels like it speeds up around me. I'm so incredibly frustrated with this mental burn out. Any advice is appreciated. I apologise for the long post.,0.162,positive,anxious
548,MentalHealthSupport,Everyday life feels overwhelming,listener_1,2,"Good luck with grad school! I do the things where I don’t acknowledge my emotions and really feel them. I’ve learned it over the years. I’ve been trying to work on it though. So what I’m doing is journaling (not about everyday but about the things that caused me to emotionally detach). Of course, it is hard, but in order to heal from the past, it’s necessary to work through it. There’s also what I call an emotional wheel (I bet you can find it on google. It’s a picture of emotion words on a wheel). I struggle with what emotions I’m feeling and such so I look at the wheel everyday to see where I’m at. There’s also a free website that helps you work through similar things. It’s called inner pathways.org. I just started it. As for being overwhelmed in the moment, I would suggest to do list and taking a minute at a time. And while you’re helping them through it, remember you need to check in with yourself. It’s great you’re being there and staying strong, but both might make you feel emotions so don’t push them away. I know it’s hard, but you got this! You’re strong! I hope it gets better for you and them!",0.9897,positive,wishing
548,MentalHealthSupport,Everyday life feels overwhelming,speaker,3,Thank you so much. It's really nice to hear from someone dealing with something similar.,0.6801,positive,acknowledging
549,MentalHealthSupport,Baby fever is making me depressed.,speaker,1,I have really bad baby fever to the point it's making be depressed. I want to be a mom so badly it hurts but I know I'm not ready yet in life for a child. Over the week my boyfriend and I went to see his friends new baby and it just felt so right to hold him and play with him. My boyfriend and I both want kids badly but we're waiting a few years till we can get a house and be financially stable enough to support all of us. Idk how to handle these emotions it hurts that I'm not ready to have a child yet.,-0.8049,negative,joyful
549,MentalHealthSupport,Baby fever is making me depressed.,listener_1,2,"I was in that boat too, only difference was I was told I couldn't have kids and the string of negatives seemed to confirm it.  I don't know what to suggest because it only went away when I gave up on ever being a Mum (and ironically fell pregnant six months later at the age of 35).  All I can suggest is that while stable finances are important, a house is not. You can be renting and still have kids.",0.4588,positive,neutral
549,MentalHealthSupport,Baby fever is making me depressed.,speaker,3,"Thanks, I'm happy you were able to have your baby! I'm just trying to keep reminding myself that now is not the right time, it still bothers me like crazy tho.",0.7345,positive,acknowledging
550,MentalHealthSupport,Vent,speaker,1,"I experience these things on a daily basis and I try to cope with them. I just needed to vent my experiences. Feedback is welcomed.  I daily experience:  Not knowing what's ""socially acceptable"" to say/do  Interacting with other people (especially those I'm fond of)  Coming to terms with my odd obsessions  Frustration that I'm developmentally behind others in my age group in some ways and extremely advanced in others.  My vocabulary being ""odd""  Sensory overload  Becoming very reclusive and hesitant to new changes. They seem to affect me more than most people.  Not understanding if someone is joking/bring sarcastic or not  Not showing emotion very well  I always feel that I'm not meeting societal standards and anything I succeed in other than this is not enough.  Lack of self-love, due to all of these things  Spikes of energy and dissociation, on and off.  Even my own mother has called me ""weird.""",0.4114,positive,ashamed
550,MentalHealthSupport,Vent,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry that your mother thought it was ok to call you weird. Could she be part of what causes your anxiety? Sounds like you may have social anxiety, but I am far from an expert. Have you considered talking to a therapist?",0.1306,positive,sympathizing
550,MentalHealthSupport,Vent,speaker,3,"Sometimes, we argue, but I suppose that's normal. I've told her I need a therapist, but she told me she'd look into helping me get one, yet I still haven't. I have been in mild counseling before, but I've gotten worse. I completely understand my mom has other things to think about and deal with, aside from myself. However, this does interfere with my daily living and, ultimately, I just want help and a diagnosis.",0.2382,positive,angry
550,MentalHealthSupport,Vent,listener_1,4,"That's a challenging situation. Your mom is somewhat supportive, but not aggressively so? I know it's hard to motivate yourself without someone else boosting you sometimes, but you can always set up your own appointment! Not to imply that it's so simple... I struggle to make necessary doctor, dentist, or therapy appointments for myself without someone to motivate me.",-0.4536,negative,questioning
550,MentalHealthSupport,Vent,speaker,5,"I know what you mean. I'll focus on what's healthy for me, even if it means being more independent (actually, a benefit!) Thanks for the insight.",0.8356,positive,agreeing
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,speaker,1,"Hello! I am currently in a big rut.... yesterday i had gone to meet up with a guy that i had befriended from bumble (i know, bad idea) in which i had invited just bc he seemed nice and i wanted to smoke with someone. Anyways, it had turned out that the kid was schizophrenic, had OCD, depression, ADHD and had an addiction to the drug related to ADHD. He’s a nice kid, but he had thought that I was his girlfriend and that he had wanted to see me everyday and join the classes I am taking solely based on the fact that I had invited him somewhere. I want to treat him with respect, but I don’t necessarily want to see him again and I don’t know how to put him down slowly. I don’t want to make him more sad than what his disabilities have already made him, but he also knows where I live so that kind of scares me a bit. Please help.",0.8662,positive,disappointed
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,listener_1,2,"If you fear for your safety, telling an adult, your friends, or anyone that can be there for you is wise. Your safety is the number on concern. As for letting him down easy, I would just say sorry but I just don’t see us going anywhere. It’s harsh, but (coming from someone who has multiple mental illnesses) mental illnesses shouldn’t make someone want to be gentler if that makes sense. If you’re too gentle, you can run the risk he won’t listen. But again, your safety is number one. He may try to guilt you into staying, which multiple people have tried with me and used their struggles with suicide and such to keep me, but you can’t allow that.",-0.8555,negative,trusting
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,speaker,3,"thank you! I have told a friend and he had told me that it doesnt seem like the kid is a violent one. I’m just scared to be mean because he told me i was his first friend in like 6 yrs since he lived in a therapy house for most of his life. I am scared for my safety, but I dont want to be scared of someone just bc they have mental illnesses. I told him Id be his friend bc my parents dont let me have a boyfriend (which is a lie) and now I dont know if i can take back the being friends part since he told me he was delicate. I dont want to ruin any progress he has right now. I know i should put myself first, but for some reason I care too much.",0.9329,positive,afraid
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,listener_1,4,"It’s not bad at all that you care too much! And I don’t think you are scared because of his mental illnesses. It sounds more like you are freaked out by him getting so attached so fast, which to my knowledge (being a psych major) isn’t part of the mental illnesses at all. You won’t ruin his progress. If you keep saying that, it might make it where you talk yourself into staying, which isn’t safe. You don’t feel comfortable. You need to put you first. He has survived before you, and he will survive after you. I’ve had people threaten things like I’ll hurt myself if you leave, and I can tell you as much as that is scary, it would not be your fault if he did. That’s his actions. You shouldn’t take responsibility for someone else’s actions (although, I do struggle with that cause like you said I care too much too). I’m glad you have a friend that is there for you.",0.8777,positive,acknowledging
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,speaker,5,"Thank you so much for this i really needed the reassurance. In your opinion, what would be the best way to deal w this and let him down slowly?",0.8578,positive,questioning
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,listener_1,6,"I would say that you can tell him that you wish him the best, but you don’t feel you want to move forward with anything. I would also say something like there wasn’t anything you necessarily did: I just realized I wasn’t ready to handle more friendships. Or something like that. Anything really will work. It just depends on how you word it. Letting down slowly would just be a respectful and kind way of saying goodbye. Wishing him the best counts too. I’m not sure on specifics because I don’t know him. You can word something, and I can let you know if it sounds harsh or not.",0.9833,positive,wishing
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,speaker,7,"First off i would like to thank you for actually taking your time and giving me some help and advice! But um what i was thinking of wht to say to him goes something like this “hey! I had a fun time last night and you seem like a wonderful person and I’m so glad that you got out of your comfort zone and did stuff that you havent done in so long! I hope that you continue to do things that make you happy despite what your mind is telling you. I would like to be honest with you though, I know I said that last night, I would be friends with you, however I realized that I am very busy and I need to focus on my school and myself and I dont think I would have time to handle new friendships. I’m sorry and I hope that you make more amazing friends! You’re an amazing individual and I’m sure that anyone would be lucky to be your friend as long as youre open with it. Have a great day :) “",0.9985,positive,acknowledging
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,listener_1,8,No problem! I enjoy helping people! You worded that beautifully!!! The only part that I might change is the have a great day. The rest is perfect!!! I hope it goes well! I would love to hear how it goes! Good luck!,0.9877,positive,wishing
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,speaker,9,So i sent it and ummmm.... i dont think he got the gist of it.... he just said “thanks!! let me know when you get some time off” so uh hmmm...,0.0,neutral,neutral
551,MentalHealthSupport,hi i need help on letting a mentally disabled guy down,listener_1,10,"I would say, leave it for now. He may text you in the future, but you said what you wanted. It may be off on what he gets out of it, but at least it seems to be a good way to take it. It might be the only way he knows how to cope with it. Again, good job taking care of yourself! You’re very brave and strong!",0.976,positive,acknowledging
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,speaker,1,"When I was 12, I lost my grandfather. He was everything to me. My parents worked very long hours and he was the father and mother figure to me. So naturally, his death hit me hard. This happened in an Islamic country. I also come from a family that doesn’t really believe in depression or the need to open up emotionally. I was extremely lost and confused after I lost him and I had no friends to talk to ( I was not allowed to have close friends because they could be bad influence). So when I was 13, I found those group chats that people used to go on and started talking to stranger about how sad I am that I lost my grandpa. No one really wanted to listen to that. They wanted naked pictures of me. Eventually, I found one person who listened to what I had to say and became my friend. He was 25-26.  I wanted a platonic relationship with him. Just someone to talk to about my day. Someone to replace my grandpa. But he brainwashed me to think no one loves me. That my parents hate me. (My father was living in the US so it was easy for me to believe him and my family doesn’t say “I love you” that much). He eventually persuaded me to send him naked pictures of myself by threatening me that he will never talk to me again. I was crying on the phone. I was begging him to let me just be friends with him and he finally convinced me that it wasn’t that bad and he knows more than me.  After he had pictures of me, he threatened me with pictures. He said he’ll expose them at my moms workplace and will get her fired. That’s how he convinced me a few month later to have sex with him.  He lived 8 hours away. I only saw him in person once. I was crying and and begging him to see if he would change his mind. But he took my virginity and sodomized me. After that, he took my box of eraser collections and left.  After that, I did not want to talk to him anymore. But he was threatening me more.  I finally moved to the US and once I knew my mom was also moving I was not scared of him. I stopped talking to him. It was very difficult due to non stop calls, emails, and texts, but I did it.  I have been feeling ashamed, guilty, embarrassed, and sexually unavailable for 7-8 years now.   The only person I told in my family is my sister. Once she told my mom she told her that was my fault because I put myself in that Situation.  I want to know the truth and stop the mind fucking thoughts in my head. Was this my fault or was I the victim? Or was I both?",-0.996,negative,devastated
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,listener_1,2,"You were the victim, and im sorry about what happened to you..",-0.34,negative,sympathizing
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,listener_2,3,Agree 100%,0.3612,positive,agreeing
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,speaker,4,Thank you for your reply. It makes me feel a lot less confused.  I’m not in any therapy. The country I’m from does not recognize this as rape in the culture or government. it has taken me some time (and watching to catch a predator) to open up to the possibility that what happened might not be okay.,-0.7071,negative,grateful
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,listener_3,5,"In most western countries this would be, at the very least, statutory rape.  A 13 year old cannot legally consent to sex with a 26 year old.  Then blackmail is another crime on top of that.  You’re the victim of two serious crimes here.",-0.9006,negative,disgusted
552,MentalHealthSupport,Was I raped?,listener_4,6,Just remember that there is always online help if it's not avlablie in your country just look online (use .ie because ireland has very good mental health websites but all are good) and never be afraid to open up,0.778,positive,agreeing
553,MentalHealthSupport,Loneliness <,speaker,1,"I don’t have friends. I lost all of them once getting to university and now I’m a second year with only a guy from my old school who says he loves me. He’s sexually assaulted me when I was drunk (not rape), he’s screamed at me when we dated because he got blue balls.  He also drives 40 minutes to see me whenever I ask, he buys me whatever and does what I ask.  Ive cut contact but when I do I’m left completely alone and then the depression just eats away at me. All the memories of the assault comes back and it’s difficult to function.  What do I do?",-0.9459,negative,lonely
553,MentalHealthSupport,Loneliness <,listener_1,2,"Make friends! I know it can be hard sometimes to just go up to someone and ask so here, lemme start!   Wanna be friends? I got some of the best ears around and it's totally free!",0.9379,positive,hopeful
553,MentalHealthSupport,Loneliness <,speaker,3,Haha thank you that’s very sweet,0.8313,positive,acknowledging
553,MentalHealthSupport,Loneliness <,speaker,4,It did thank you very much!,0.4199,positive,wishing
553,MentalHealthSupport,Loneliness <,listener_2,5,Good! Remember that it is a journey and not a destination. Enjoy the in between!,0.2158,positive,consoling
554,MentalHealthSupport,I feel I have been publicly humiliated and cannot find a way to get over it,speaker,1,"I am a 20 year old female, one week ago I went to get a sternum tattoo. On the way home I called my friend excited to tell her about it, it was raining so I stood in an empty bus stop waiting for the bus. I am naturally a very loud person, especially on the phone, and I tend to shut my surroundings out when I am immersed in something, this case, the phone talk. I talked about the placement, how I had to be topless, how I was afraid of the tattoo artist being a creep and making a move on me, (but he was a sweetheart) and more ideas of a new tattoo, piercings, stuff like that. I maybe have been on the phone for 10 minutes when a really old lady sitting next to me knocked on my shoulder and I got back to reality and seen that around 10-15 people have been in the bus stop now really, really close to me. I asked the lady to repeat herself since I can’t hear that well (might contribute to why I talk loud but I am not trying to make excuses for myself, I do talk too loud often). Anyways she said, “are you giving a show?” in a very rude tone, not getting it first I just said I am on the phone, I thought she might think I am crazy and talking to myself since I had a bluetooth mic in and my hair covered it. Then she just even more rudely said something in the likes of “noone is interested in you, keep it to yourself, noone wants to hear that, its your bussiness”. I really don’t remember the exact conversations after that, I get kinda foggy when I am in a stress situation and have quite a bad temper. I recall another middle aged woman telling me quite condescendingly that I was talking too loud and annoying everyone around me. At this point all the people, teens, men, women were staring. I told her and the old lady that they could’ve just asked me properly to lower my voice, no need to be rude. The woman said they weren’t rude, they told me to not phone in the bus stop who do I think I am. I have a really bad temper so at this point quite irritated I told the old woman that this is my normal talking volume and next time just try asking without being condescending and I will apologize and walk away. She very ironically said sorry and said “I am telling you nicely now that you are too loud”, still irritated I told her hastily it’s ok, see, next time thats all it takes and I would notice myself and walk further from the people, no need to make a scene. Then I stormed off but the bus was coming so I got on at the other end opposite of the “audience”. I felt I was being watched, laughed at, shamed, humiliated, ridiculed, and it completely ruined my amazing mood after being so excited for my new tattoo. I cried on the bus, I was on my way to meet my boyfriend and just couldn’t look anyone or even then him in the eye. I haven’t really been okay ever since. I think about it everyday and it makes my chest tight and makes me feel like I’m a bad person..  I have always been self-centered, loud, a bit too much excessive, too much for people, it is always about me me and me. It is often impossible to shut me up and I often “opress” my friends to my ideas, to my way. Not agressively or negatively (I think?), just I have a strong controlling ability. This encounter made me kind of reevaluate these traits in me, and I feel I have been selfish with people my whole life without intention, or noticing it. It always had to be my way. I started thinking all the new people I met, all my old friends, my boyfriend, my family, what if I was annoying? Too much? Too needy? I feel its hard to love me like this, I have been this way all my life, might this be why I barely have any true friends, and even them, rarely reach out to me and not always 100% honest with me. Would I be way too out there and a burden to people with my constant changing interests, hobbies, ideas, is my excitement for new things in my life overwhelming for others? Do I opress and manipulate my friends and family into the things that I want?  I asked my best friend and she said I do like to be the centre of attention but its not too much, she doesnt think anyone would think of me negatively, just that I am eccentric, a bit different.  Anyways... I have questioned myself, because of the incident, I have been thinking about it everyday for the past week. It doesnt “hurt” as much as the first day but I still find it hard to fall asleep at night and not dwell on it. I just cant explain the feeling. I feel ashamed, shamed, humiliated I guess. Like when I go outside I am afraid something like this happens again, feeling bad those people might talked badly about me and laughed at me, maybe still do, and think that I am a horrible, attention-seeking, self-entitled brat. I wish I could prove them wrong but I did talk too loud and about topics that other people might not be keen on hearing about.  I don’t know where I am going with this anymore. I am just way too self conscious about the way I act, the way I am and have been.   I just want the feelin to stop, I dont know how to deal with it, how to get over it, how not to feel watched and judged everyday by strangers and not being able to be myself, having to hold back, talk quietly, keep things to myself, talk less... while feeling like I am a piece of shit. I havent talked to anyone about this, I feel ashamed. I also feel like I might be making way too much of a deal out of this.  Thank you for reading.",-0.9815,negative,embarrassed
554,MentalHealthSupport,I feel I have been publicly humiliated and cannot find a way to get over it,listener_1,2,"Don’t worry I get what you’re feeling, if had something similar happen to me but what really helped me in that moment to just put it behind me and move on was the thought that I’m NEVER am gonna see these people again and even if they do....what’s gonna happen....absolutely nothing. Your okay, nothings wrong, they were being assholes.",-0.9193,negative,neutral
554,MentalHealthSupport,I feel I have been publicly humiliated and cannot find a way to get over it,speaker,3,"Thank you, I feel a bit better now!",0.69,positive,sympathizing
554,MentalHealthSupport,I feel I have been publicly humiliated and cannot find a way to get over it,speaker,4,"Indeed, it has felt like I really saw myself this time and that I can be inconsiderate with others and need to change, I just wish it wasn’t because of how horrible some peoplemade me feel. But sadly the woman and the lady were rude, and I know I am at fault, but it would have been so much less troublesome to ask me to talk less loud when they decided to sit down right next to me in an empty bus stop? Being so condescending, the tone of their voice, their body language, the specific words they used (another language, europe) and I just can’t forget the disgust on the woman’s face. She was disgusted by me, and looked at me like as if I had killed a thousand children. I don’t mind if people tell me that I need to chill, but not in a way that I can’t continue my phone call elsewhere because I became so upset and end up crying on the way home.",-0.993,negative,angry
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),speaker,1,"So I know that my depression and  anxiety are bad but I started to realize recently that they’re- REALLY bad. Because it didn’t even dawn on me that I haven’t left my house in weeks. Anytime we’ve needed to go to the grocery I write a list and send my boyfriend on along without me.  Or if his friends plan a fun game night or something I’m usually not up to go at all. At first I just thought well I think it’s just because I simply don’t wanna go or I’m not in the mood to, but I started seeing this become a consistent habit and I realize that it’s a bigger problem than I originally thought. I can’t even leave my house to go to the grocery store like how ridiculous is that? I fear the public because it makes me so so uncomfortable and judged feeling. I stay indoors all day (unless it’s late LATE at night like midnight and on because I know almost everyone is in for the night, we live in an apartment complex so that’s another reason why I don’t like to get out) I never get any fresh air or sunlight and the only time I seem to be happy is when my boyfriend is home with me. (by the way I don’t have a job) but anyway when he goes to work I find myself sitting here in my house doing virtually nothing because I don’t have the motivation or drive to do anything at all. I won’t even do the laundry unless I know it’s needed, we have a lot of clothes by the way, but I won’t even do the laundry unless I know my boyfriend needs clothes for work. I, myself, don’t even go through much clothes because I’m typically only wearing old raggedy big comfy t-shirts and sweats, pajama pants, or no pants at all. I struggle with hygiene a lot too because usually I completely forget that brushing your teeth is even a thing and taking showers can be very exhausting mentally. Especially since I deal with being insecure about my body. And I don’t feel comfortable without any clothes. (Maybe a little tmi but I don’t even like for my boyfriend to see me naked, if we have sex I usually want all my clothes on or if not, all the lights off)  I try to do things that make me happy or lift my spirits. For example; I love coloring, drawing, doing my makeup, singing, watching videos on YouTube, I love stuffed animals and toys, writing, reading, and I even used to like cleaning as a past time. But I’ve given up almost all of those things because nothing even feels the same anymore. Every time I start something I just feel like I’m lying to myself. Like I know it’s just a distraction and I’m pretending it’s going to somehow make everything better but it doesn’t. I can’t even feel joy when doing these things anymore.  The only time I feel like doing any of the things that make me happy, is when I’m with my boyfriend. I think it’s because from a young age I couldn’t stand being alone and I had really bad abandonment issues. (My older sister never wanted to associate with me and my parents were constantly fighting or didn’t wanna have anything to do with me because they find everything an inconvenience.) And I think it’s because he makes me feel safe and appreciated and loved and accepted. When I’m with him, my true self comes out and I literally bloom like a flower. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for me to be happy, let alone, feel normal when I’m alone. Or why I choose to be alone.  I’m so tired and fatigued all the time like I have a constant cloud of muck surrounding me and I can’t breath.  I’m always lying down during the day, that’s how tired I feel. I’ll probably get up to pee and do something extremely simple real quick but I’ll immediately go back to the bed afterwards.  Friends and family and people around me never understand why I don’t want to visit or have them around. But when I’m like this, in this state of mind, I’m not in the place to entertain anyone. It would be so fake and forced it’s not even funny. I only have one friend anyway. And my family is very broken and separated so I don’t usually wanna go around them anyway. But that’s not the point, the point is, is that I’m not improving whatsoever. Yes I’m aware of mental help online but I can’t afford it. And I was going to therapy but then I got a huge bill in the mail and now I can’t afford that either. And I know I want to get a job, eventually. But as of right now if I’m completely honest, I don’t even think I have it in me. Physically or Mentally. I failed at my last job because of this. It only lasted a month. I had panic attacks daily due to my fear of the public.  I just don’t know how this will ever get better.  And if you have any suggestions or apps or links..... please send them my way. Also, if you deal with this yourself, and you want to chat with me, please please please do so. I currently have no one to talk to about this that shares the same experience.",0.9688,positive,ashamed
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),listener_1,2,"Dude, I'm basically in the same boat as you. I really suck at being on my phone though because I do have a 5 mo the old daughter but we can definitely chat just hit me up! 😊",0.8944,positive,agreeing
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),speaker,3,"I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one! And hey that’s perfectly fine, children come first always❤️ but I would love to chat!",0.9078,positive,acknowledging
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),speaker,4,"I agree. Sometimes it takes forcing myself to be in situations I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable in, to feel comfortable.  And yes, the system really does suck.  And yes, I really like that idea, going outside for just 10 minutes. We have a playground type of thing close to the woods as part of our apartment complex.. and I go out there to swing but usually only after 12 at night. But I’ve been thinking about going out there to swing during the day at some time.",0.762,positive,agreeing
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),listener_2,5,"I have a good friend who installed Pokemon Go and used it to start going out. Walks with a ""mission"" and eventually it can lead you into social interractions as certain game activities require other players help.  It also allowed them to distract themselves in any situation. Someone talking to you makes you feel off balance, focus on game while you chat or utilize it tostop away till you feel better.   Another friend started running. Small runs to then miles of running. The endorphins made by physical activity really make you feel better. Then on top of that, physically you will feel yourself get stronger.  Both ideas represented the ""excuse"" to do something and justify it. Then the rest got a lot easier. Just keep trying to get up and go. Failed last time? It's okay. Try again. Keep trying.  If you won't fight for yourself, no one else will.",0.9674,positive,disgusted
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),speaker,6,"Yes I like that idea a lot. Because I’d wanna have a reason to be “busy”or “distracted” in a sense, so no one can really talk to me. It’s mostly older people who live in this apartment complex, but even the younger ones are just druggies and partiers which is one of the reasons I’m a little scared to go out. Like if I have my boyfriend with me though, I feel safe. And typically if you have someone with you, people are less likely to bother you. But I’ll try it. It’s just a bigger step to me than you can imagine.",0.5722,positive,lonely
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),listener_2,7,"I didn't leave the house during my 10th, 11th, and 12th grade years. I was homeschooled and maybe went out 6 times in 2.5 years. I totally understand.  Now I work for a state agency with law enforcement and I have to speak in crowds, give presentations, and no one would believe who I was when I was younger.  We train ourselves. Training, like working out. Takes time and effort to see improvement. You can do anything if you set your mind to it.",0.5343,positive,confident
555,MentalHealthSupport,Who else can’t even leave their house? (unless it’s mandatory or forced),speaker,8,"Thank you so much. I would love to hear more about your story. You’re awesome. And that is the person I would love to be. Introverts and Empaths end up being the most influential leaders of the world. That is so great of you. And yes, it is like training. I’d have to say I’d rather do intense physical training rather than intense mental trying, simply because it’s that hard to crack. But with consistency it will happen. And I really appreciate you sharing that with me ♡",0.9735,positive,wishing
556,MentalHealthSupport,Post vacation low,speaker,1,"I just took an amazing family vacation, but a bit before and upon returning, I became extremely unhappy and upset about returning home. Is this just Vacation Blues? Or something I should be concerned about?",-0.7842,negative,sad
556,MentalHealthSupport,Post vacation low,listener_1,2,"Is there something waiting for you at home that is stressful for you? Your job, your relationship, feeling unproductive in life, not happy with your apartment, etc? Maybe something you're not yet consciously aware of but that is still causing you stress.",-0.7881,negative,questioning
556,MentalHealthSupport,Post vacation low,speaker,3,"Possibly, school is coming up for me, and that may be a contributor",0.0,neutral,suggesting
557,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared to leave my family to better my self.,speaker,1,"Last year I graduated high school, and my family moved to Pennsylvania from Florida. We moved because my mom couldn’t afford to live there and my sister didn’t like having to stay at my dads. Right after I graduated I went to Alaska for a summer job hoping to save money and work on getting into school. I ended up have to give my mom close to 1000 dollars due to her not being financially stable to the time. I ended up meeting a girl in Alaska who would end up becoming my girlfriend. After my summer job I went to Pennsylvania with some happiness something I never really dealt with. I’ve usually been significantly depressed in life, been prescribed medicine. Once I got there it was a culture shock. Completely in the middle of no where and no city near by. I grew up in Orlando and loved having so many things to do around town. I didn’t even have internet fast enough for my video games which I enjoyed dearly. My relationship was Long distance and it was tough but when we saw each other I was the happiest I’ve ever been. Upon living in Pennsylvania I found my self getting depressed and sort of used by my mom. I ended up having to foot the bill for internet because my mom couldn’t afford it, even though everyone in the house used it. When I would offer to pay her rent I would be told not to worry about it. There’s not many places to work in Pennsylvania and things tend to close regularly.   In April I flew to be with my girlfriend for a month before we went back to Alaska. We have been living together since and have decided we don’t want to be long distance and we want to move in together. We are having to make a tough  emotional vs successful decision do we move to PA where we both will be struggling to get by, working with minimum wage jobs, but have my family who we deeply enjoy and live there. But run the risk of never moving anywhere in life.  Or do we move to Florida where my dad lives. He’s very successful in life with his planning of things and finances. He offered to let us stay in house for 500 a month and help us get to a point in our lives where we both can be successful and I can finally go to either college or a trade school.  He would be able to help us not make the decisions he made and help use be better off in life then he was.    TL DR-   Do My girlfriend and I move to a state that makes me depressed and broke, but have all the family I know and love.   Or   Do I move to a state that has my dad who could be a strong positive person to guide us in life and allow us to make more money and has the suburban life that makes me feel at happy.   I since my parents got a divorce I feel like I’m choosing one over another and it makes it tough for me to decide.",0.9959,positive,trusting
557,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared to leave my family to better my self.,listener_1,2,"First of all, take my opinion with a grain of salt. I would recommend going with your dad",0.3612,positive,trusting
557,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared to leave my family to better my self.,speaker,3,"That’s what I’m leaning toward, I guess it’s emotional are you leave something your so used too. But I know it will be better for us in the long run.",0.6187,positive,trusting
558,MentalHealthSupport,I need coping help,speaker,1,"I’ve been living with my partner for a 2.5 years sharing a dorm room, we’re gonna be seniors this year. We were best friends for a whole year before we started dating.   Their mom has always been incredibly toxic, she’s an alcoholic and a classic narcissist. My partner shows pretty obvious signs of battered child syndrome but after they left home and went to college, they blossomed into an incredible and confident person, but their mom can still manage to control them when they’re around her.  We were on vacation on the cape and she didn’t want me to go but my partner eventually convinced them. She agreed to let me stay for 3 nights, since I already had the whole week off, I decided to book myself a hotel in town and she freaked out. She called it an attack on her and then while I was in town she didn’t let me see my partner. My partner and I had plans to drive back together and she freaked out even more about that and yelled at my partner. I texted her asking her to direct her anger at me and I called her toxic, manipulative and unhealthy (yeah I shouldn’t have done that, I was drunk and I’d put up with her for almost three years already)  After I sent that message, I never heard from my partner again (this was like 3 weeks ago). A couple days later she shows up at the house I share with my partner with the police and my partner is just silent and won’t even look me in the eye. She took all their stuff and that’s the last time I saw them.  I flew to my mom’s house because I couldn’t stop drinking, I felt like I was going to die. I still can’t believe this happened. My partner and I never had any major issues, I really believe what we have is true love and I’ve never felt so sad and empty.  I don’t know what to do. School starts again in September and we’re set to share a room but their mom has probably gotten them a room change. I’m Latina and she also kept saying that I wasn’t “their culture”, she’s white. I can’t believe that things are over between us, the day before I sent that message, my partner and I were talking about getting married.",0.1494,positive,disgusted
558,MentalHealthSupport,I need coping help,listener_1,2,Sorry for asking but are you a F/F couple? The only reason I ask is it seems at first glance that her mom might be struggling to cope with that type of situation.,-0.5927,negative,questioning
558,MentalHealthSupport,I need coping help,speaker,3,"What’s F/F? We’re queer, I’m a cis woman, they’re transmasc",0.0,neutral,angry
558,MentalHealthSupport,I need coping help,listener_1,4,"Regardless. Her mom might be struggling with the entire relationship. Aside from that, have you ever had a positive interaction with them? I'm not saying that you are at fault for anything but sometime it takes more effort on our part. If you have and there is no course for getting along, your partner will have to make a decision between you and them. That is never an easy interaction.  I think it's clear from what you wrote earlier that she will choose her family. If you really want it to work, you'll have to deal with her family. It does not sound like she will cut off her mom. You could try to work to gain trust and get her the help she needs.  You have a decision to make imo. Try to reconcile with her family and work through that or move on. There could be another out there for you.",0.8028,positive,questioning
558,MentalHealthSupport,I need coping help,listener_1,5,I meant female dating female.,0.0,neutral,guilty
559,MentalHealthSupport,I’m just so fucking sad,speaker,1,"I’m so intensely empty. Idk what even to say, I just need to get it out there. I’m empty and broken and just so fucking sad and I always hide it, I wish I could call out for help but I’m drowning. I’m pushing people away. Why? Why do i do this? Why am I such a coward? Fuck.",-0.9311,negative,lonely
559,MentalHealthSupport,I’m just so fucking sad,listener_1,2,"You are not a coward. You reached out on here, which is a huge step. You’re strong. You’re fighting! I know those feelings so well. What I do is try to cry (to release emotions) or draw/journal about how I’m feeling. It helps clear my head. I’m here for you!",0.898,positive,faithful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I’m just so fucking sad,listener_2,3,"I agree! You're not a coward, you are calling out for help here! It's a good first step. One step at a time!",0.8874,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,1,"I feel suicidal but I can’t even call a hotline because of reasons that are explained in my household rules on one of my earlier posts, and I can’t talk to my therapist or any of my siblings because they’re asleep I don’t know what to do I’m so scared",-0.8343,negative,afraid
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,2,I’m here for you. I bet there’s a crisis hotline you can text (or is that out of the question too?). I’ve been suicidal before. I understand where you are and what you’re feeling,-0.8442,negative,caring
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,3,"Yeah, I’m unable to text too.. I tried just getting some sleep, but I just woke up feeling even worse.",-0.4215,negative,neutral
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,4,"Hmmm what are your hobbies? I tend to find a video on YouTube, listen to music, read, craft, video game, etc. I try my best to keep my mind distracted and focused on something that I can’t let my mind wander while doing",0.6597,positive,questioning
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,5,I’m afraid I’m a bit too far gone for that. It’s only 1:46 am where I live and I’d get crucified if I turned any of my lights etc on. I’m too worried and anxious to really focus on anything..,-0.4939,negative,afraid
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,6,Can you put headphones in? You wouldn’t have to focus too much on the songs. I use rock music being blasted in headphones to block out unwanted thoughts. It might be able to help,-0.2732,negative,suggesting
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,7,I suppose I could try.. any songs you can recommend? Or any playlists?,0.4329,positive,suggesting
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,8,"I enjoy avenged sevenfold, Motley Crue, disturbed, and Iron Maiden the most. Spotify has tons of playlists for each one!",0.2244,positive,nostalgic
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,9,"Ah, thank you. Avenged is actually one of my favorite bands!",0.6996,positive,surprised
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,10,They are my first to go to when I’m struggling the most cause their songs are strong enough. Strength of the world by them is my favorite to use!,0.7901,positive,faithful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,11,That’s a good one! Thank you!,0.7170000000000001,positive,acknowledging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,12,"I’ll be here (I’m not tired yet) so if it doesn’t work, we can try to find something else",0.3412,positive,consoling
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,13,Thank you so much.. I’ve never had a total stranger do this for me.. it means so much..,0.3612,positive,grateful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,14,I’m alright I guess.. and thank you so much as well.. you all are very kind..,0.861,positive,grateful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,15,No problem! I’m glad I can be here! Helping other people makes me feel better inside.,0.8733,positive,grateful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,16,"Of course, I don't want you to be scared and feel alone! I've literally just made my reddit account...you mentioned another post you made explaining some house rules?",-0.6613,negative,questioning
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,17,https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthSupport/comments/ckvqdr/i_want_to_move_out_of_my_emotionally_abusive/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app,0.0,neutral,neutral
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,18,"Yeah, it’s in my profile but I’ll link it.. thank you again I really do appreciate it",0.8324,positive,sympathizing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,19,You’re a good person really..,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,20,You're welcome. :) Are you still feeling suicidal?,0.25,positive,questioning
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,21,"A bit, yes.. sorry for thanking you so much but it does mean a lot to me..",0.1779,positive,sympathizing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,22,"No worries! Just read through your other post, I can understand why you feel so awful, I'm so sorry. If I may offer a thought: I'd say go ahead and get out if you can. It's good that you care about your mom, but you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help anyone else put theirs on. In other words, you have to be in a healthy place before you can really help anyone else! Your environment is not conducive to healthy growth.",0.9346,positive,sympathizing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,23,So are you! Good people have poop happen to them.,0.5355,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,24,"Yeah, my siblings finally convinced me to move out and I’m moving in with my much more supportive aunt tomorrow. I don’t know what time, but I’m terrified of breaking the news to my mom.",-0.5112,negative,apprehensive
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,25,Thank you..! That means a lot to me..! Sorry for being a broken record lol..!,0.4168,positive,sympathizing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,26,"I'm glad to hear you have somewhere supportive to go! That's fantastic.   As far as telling your mom, it sounds like she's not going to take it well. Just a guess, based on her being bothered when you tell her you're suicidal. Would it be a worse decision to not tell her? At least, not until you're gone?",0.4857,positive,questioning
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,27,No worries! I do the same thing! Sometimes I say it three times in one message! Lol,0.7191,positive,confident
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,28,This really brightened my day (even though it’s 2:15 in the morning lmao),0.807,positive,joyful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,29,"I think she’d be more upset if I didn’t, so I’m going to put it down gently. Hats what my sister told me to do at least, and I’m hoping it works.. I mean, it’s not like I don’t love her— if I didn’t I wouldn’t even be in this muck right now!",0.7422,positive,trusting
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,30,Hey it’s either a good way to end your day or start your day! Depends on if you count falling asleep first to end the day or if you count after midnight!,0.4374,positive,acknowledging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,31,"Lol that’s very true! I’m hoping tomorrow (technically today) will be better, but I do have to deal with a few family matters (the whole cause of this muck) first before I can really get better!",0.8986,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,32,"I feel you, it's very tricky! You know the situation better than anyone though. You can be strong even though you're scared! You're already being so brave to leave when you're afraid, telling your mom is the easy part!",0.8775,positive,confident
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,33,I’m proud of you for staying strong! It takes a lot of courage. Take one thing at a time. Baby steps toward a bigger goal! Don’t try to tackle it all at once cause it’ll get overwhelming. Good luck with dealing with it too!!,0.9491,positive,wishing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,34,"That’s very true! I never thought of it in that sense before! I’m the last kid of hers to leave, so I’m hoping this is going to give her a friendly reality check..",0.8675,positive,encouraging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,35,"I hope so too! However, be careful about getting your hopes up TOO much...my toxic parents needed many many years to change. But they did change, so there's hope in that!",0.8402,positive,consoling
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,36,"I’d rather it take many years than have them not change at all! So even then, I’d still accept it. I’m not one to hold grudges on people, so if my mom realizes where she was wrong, I’d gladly accept an apology and forgive her. Though, it’ll be hard to forget all the things that happened, the best I can do for both her and myself is forgive.",0.8777,positive,trusting
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,37,"Thank you!! You’re very sweet! I’m moving out from my abusive family, so I hope everything goes well!",0.7929,positive,encouraging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,38,"That's a good attitude to have! Holding grudges hurts no one but the one hiding the grudge. Forgiving someone can be very difficult without receiving an apology, but it is crucial for healing! I'm glad you're already seeing a therapist, I hope it's someone you like and can really help you move forward!",0.9247,positive,consoling
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,39,Yes! It will! Moving out helps a lot! It gives you freedom and space. And above all control of what you want to do without others giving their opinions!,0.873,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,40,"I’m afraid of what my oldest sister will say, but I need to think about myself for once! I haven’t done that in so long!",0.0,neutral,afraid
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,41,"Yes! I love the therapist I have! She’s very nurturing, and while sometimes it’s a bit odd, sometimes I just really need it!",0.868,positive,grateful
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,42,"Oh good, I'm so glad! :) I'm falling asleep, soI hope you're feeling a little better tonight, and good luck tomorrow! If you're comfortable, message me and let me know how it goes!",0.9749,positive,consoling
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,43,"Yes! Put yourself first! Talking to her might help! Did she ever move out? If so, she will understand.",0.7412,positive,suggesting
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,44,"Yes, she did move out, but she’s concerned about my mom being lonely all of the time— which (not to sound too harsh) she kind of did to herself.",-0.7391,negative,neutral
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,45,"Alright! Sleep tight, mate! I think I’m on my last bit of adrenaline right now as well! Thank you so much! It amazes me how some people can be so nice to total strangers!",0.9306,positive,wishing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,46,Ahh I see. That is neither one of your responsibilities though. Remember that! She is an adult that should be able to take care of herself. You both can always talk to her and text her. And see her occasionally. But moving out is what’s best for you. And your sister needs to respect that.,0.9238,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,47,It's because you're awesome! Good night :),0.8832,positive,wishing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,48,"That is very true, and I hope she knows where I’m coming from. She thankfully doesn’t have any mental health problems, so it’s harder for her to understand what it’s like for me and my other siblings that do.",0.8221,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,49,"That’s understandable. Hopefully (if you feel comfortable doing it), she will understand and listen when you talk to her about it. I bet she will know where you’re coming from! And if she doesn’t, it truly doesnt matter. What matters is what’s best for you. I’m also working on taking control into my own hands and learning what is my responsibility and what is not. All we really can do is look out for ourselves because we’re stuck with ourselves forever and most people won’t care enough to look out for us as much as we would for ourselves. No matter how any of them react, it comes down to what you want and if moving out will help (which I believe it will), then you have every right to do it!",0.9579,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,50,Thank you! Good night!,0.7170000000000001,positive,wishing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,51,"Very very true!! I doubt she’ll be very mad, but I hope she gets to understand why I left! I hope it’s not too late into the night/morning for you! If you need to rest— don’t feel afraid to say so! I don’t want to keep you up!",0.8547,positive,agreeing
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,52,I almost just fell asleep without warning you. I might fall asleep. If I do I can reply when I wake up. I’ll reply as fast as I can. I’m proud of you for fighting for what’s best for you and being willing to talk to her about why so she can understand! That is very kind of you!,0.8136,positive,neutral
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,53,"No problem! Go catch some Z’s, mate! You deserve it!",0.4826,positive,angry
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_1,54,I hope you’re doing well!,0.6476,positive,encouraging
559,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,55,Thank you! I am doing a bit better,0.69,positive,grateful
560,MentalHealthSupport,Would you continue to if this was you,speaker,1,"Im 27 years old. I think if I had a gun I would shoot my self really. I just need to vent. I have an amazing job amazing apartment. But I have a hard time making friends. I think I have OCD it makes me go into my mind so much I start to panic from there I start to get anxiety. I withdraw from people and situations when I’m going through that because I don’t want anybody to think I’m weird. It sucks i moved to a new city don’t know anybody the only people I see are at work. I’m going through an episode right now of ocd. I just signed the lease to a new apartment and I’m terrified because I remember that around 2 years ago I was looking at the same apartment and a thought came into my head saying that if I moved there I would become an evil person. I keep trying to block out that thought struggling with it but i signed the lease. It sucks i work hard every day and I know people see that but I’m just a hard worker I’m not the guy people want to go have lunch with or that they want to invite out. I know part of it is because sometimes they have interacted me while I’m having anxiety or going through these bad thoughts and it’s been hard to build rapport with people like that. But if this is going to continue I would rather die. Another thing making me just want to end things is the fact that I feel weak. I’m 5’10 weight 178lb but I don’t have a manly voice I can’t grow a full beard. I’m not mascullar at all. And I feel like other people perceive me as weak too. I’m not strong minded. It sucks growing up people would just make fun of me bully me and I wouldn’t do anything because I was afraid. I had no self esteem no pride. Till this day my pride is gone. Maybe I need more testosterone I don’t know. I wish I wasn’t so weak. I wish I didn’t let people just push me around. Feel like they can say whatever to me. I feel like it’s hard to take me serious, only strong men get taken serious. What the point",-0.9904,negative,anxious
560,MentalHealthSupport,Would you continue to if this was you,listener_1,2,Good luck man. If you can afford it and are willing to see a doctor about how you feel and to have you testosterone checked. I'm going next week myself. I've always had low T. When I was 16ish I remember my doctor joked that my levels were within normal range even a little on the high side...for a girl then he laughed. He said I was at the lowest acceptable level for a boy and would prescribe anything.  P.S. most people who are taken serious are assholes.,0.5719,positive,surprised
560,MentalHealthSupport,Would you continue to if this was you,speaker,3,Thanks for replying man what kind of dumbass doctor is that,-0.2484,negative,acknowledging
561,MentalHealthSupport,help?,speaker,1,"my friends think i should go to a mental hospital, they’re starting to threaten me about calling them a lot now and i don’t believe i need to go. none of them are listening to me anymore so i don’t know how to convince them not to. what should i do?",0.3612,positive,apprehensive
561,MentalHealthSupport,help?,listener_1,2,What's going on that makes them want to do this?,0.0772,positive,questioning
561,MentalHealthSupport,help?,speaker,3,"not really taking care of myself, i’ve been feeling too exhausted",-0.5905,negative,guilty
561,MentalHealthSupport,help?,listener_1,4,In that case it would be worth having a chat to doc and seeing if there is a physical reason,0.2263,positive,suggesting
561,MentalHealthSupport,help?,listener_2,5,This.,0.0,neutral,surprised
562,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like i HAVE to get diagnosed to validate that what i'm feeling is real,speaker,1,"i've had manic depression for five years now. i've never been diagnosed by a medical doctor though. i have strict asian parents who believe that anyone with mental health issues is sick in the brain. even if this wasn't a problem, we sure as hell can't afford treatment. i don't want to burden my family with that. i've never told them about my three suicide attempts, first starting at age 11. the closest i've gotten to an actual diagnosis is my school counselor giving me a screening test and the results coming out as severe depression. i hate being grouped in with self-diagnosed people because a lot of them are the tumblr teen stereotype. the people who are like *i have depression, anxiety, ocd, ptsd, schizophrenia, bipolar, BPD, but i've never been diagnosed because i don't like doctors haha.* they throw out the word ""depression"" like it's nothing, because they're sad occasionally. a lot of people say that self-diagnosis isn't valid, and i feel like that's true in most cases. but others don't have access to a proper diagnosis. i feel like i *need* to be diagnosed or what i'm feeling is not real. should i feel bad for feeling this way? tell me if i'm just being a pretentious gatekeeping bitch",-0.9449,negative,guilty
562,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like i HAVE to get diagnosed to validate that what i'm feeling is real,listener_1,2,"me too. i mean ive been doing this doctor thing for a long while and best i got was anxiety disorder but i think they only diagnosed that because i was coming off of alcohol at the time...:  I got prozac, but doesnt seem to work too well.",0.4678,positive,agreeing
562,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like i HAVE to get diagnosed to validate that what i'm feeling is real,listener_2,3,"Meds take a long while to find what works. I went my first year of sorting through various meds; I gained a lot of weight from some, got horrible side effects from others... the key is to write down the effects you feel or outcomes you experience (good and bad) and share them with your provider. Even once you do find what works, it doesn’t mean it will work forever. Chances are you’ll have to reinvent the wheel down the line; completely normal.",0.128,positive,prepared
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,1,"My husband is a great husband and father. We recently had our second baby, now we have 2 under 2. Ever since our youngest was born, he's been struggling with anxiety though. He has become somewhat fixated on a worry about what will happen when he dies (what death will be like, how the kids and I will survive, how much of the kids life he will miss, ect....).  It's been going on for months now. He can't sleep, he's become easily agitated (closely related to the lack of sleep), he's stressed, and I can see his mental state getting worse. He's already started talking with a therapist but it's not helping. He's open to medication if needed, but so far his therapist has said that's not necessary.  The only thing that seems to help is talking with me about it. Of course I make myself available to talk with him anytime he needs it, even if he's waking me up at 2am because of it.  My question is, what else can I do to help him. We are both exhausted (2 kids under 2 will do that) so neither of us can deal with the lack of sleep and increased stress this is causing the whole family.  (Crosspost from r/advice sorry, I'm new here and couldn't figure out the proper way to crosspost)",-0.8394,negative,anxious
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,listener_1,2,"Hey there!  Happy Sunday!  Sorry to hear what your husband is going through.   We have launched a new app for mental health called “Happier you” that is now available in the IOS app stores worldwide to help people like your husband.  The app is to help people around the world with anxiety, depression and stress. Developed by therapists themselves it gives people the help they need based on science anywhere anytime for free.   Here is a link to the app [https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/happier-you/id1439247545](https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/happier-you/id1439247545)  Hopefully this can help your husband feel less anxious and stressed. Let me know if you have any questions or have any feedback.  Thank you",0.9353,positive,caring
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,3,Thanks for the suggestion. Unfortunately he's an avid Android user. I did a quick Play Store search and didn't find a Droid version of the app yet.,0.6249,positive,sympathizing
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,4,"Thanks for the insight. He was upset last night since it was one of his worst nights and it made him feel like the therapy wasn't helping at all. I tried to reassure him that the journey for mental health isn't linear (sometimes it goes up or down unexpectedly) but that didn't seem to help, hence my post.   The therapist is giving him some advice on how to fight invasive thoughts and, for the most part, he's trying them. So far he said they aren't helping though.   I appreciate your shout out to my own mental health as well. I'm pretty drained and being woken up in the middle of the night to help him isn't helping me either but he needs that time from me more than I need the sleep. For now. I'll make sure to keep in mind that I'm allowed to tell him ""not now"" if I start to struggle more.",0.5507,positive,prepared
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,5,I'll try to get him to register! Thanks for the suggestion.,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,6,Thanks! He's a great guy so I just want to do everything possible to help him while he navigates this bump.,0.8899,positive,caring
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,listener_1,7,"Currently, it's only on iOS. But we hope to release on Android in the future.   I hope your husband is able to feel better soon. CBT is a great option and there's lots of information and support out there on it.  ​  Thanks",0.979,positive,encouraging
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,listener_2,8,"The thing I still use quiet a bit is called grounding techniques. It started with my other half asking me  menial questions, sort of like what color are my socks. He would keep asking not important questions to get me to think about my socks or shoes or the weather to help calm me down. My therapist gave me a similar exercise. I pick three things I can see, two I can hear and one I can smell or touch so I can do the same thing alone.   To be fair its not an instant thing. Sometimes I have to start over with three more things and so forth. Its also something that can be done in public in your own head so it is easy to take out and about.",0.8434,positive,trusting
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,listener_3,9,You're welcome. I hope you can find something that helps you both! <3,0.8313,positive,consoling
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,speaker,10,"That's a great idea. I just suggested the 3-2-1 observation technique and he's very interested in trying it. It sounds like a good help, since it forces him to focus on his senses.",0.9348,positive,acknowledging
563,MentalHealthSupport,How to help husband with anxiety?,listener_2,11,I really hope it helps. I know its helped me.,0.7233,positive,agreeing
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,speaker,1,"I just feel so sedated and idk if its the medication or not. Also, what its your experience with it?",-0.1689,negative,questioning
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,listener_1,2,"I have not. But if you're experiencing what you believe are side effects of your medication, it might not be the right medication for you or at the right dosage. I'd talk to your doctor about it.   I've been on antidepressants that were at too high of a dose and I felt sedated, numb, fuzzy-headed and sometimes the wrong medication made me feel manic, panic, and like I was super angry and going to break shit.   So I'd check with your doctor.",-0.9253,negative,apprehensive
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,speaker,3,"Thank you for your advice! but i just started taking it like 3 days ago, should i wait to see what happens? I cannot contact my doctor rn. Also its an antipsychotic so idk if its the same as an antidepressant. Don't worry if you don't know the answer, its just that i hate taking new meds, i always get the side effects haha one even gave me fear of stairs coz vertigo lol.",0.5349,positive,neutral
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,listener_1,4,"My therapist told me the length of time it takes for medicine like that to kick in is supposedly 2 weeks, but he said ""It never is. You can feel the effects after 2 to 3 days"" and he was right.   So yeah, I was on an SSRI. And I hate meds too. The side effects are the worst. I'm one of those people who have that like 1% chance possible side effect. That's me. lolol  But I'm going to guess it's your meds.  And I'm no doctor, but I would think an antipsychotic would work even faster than an SSRI.  I can also tell you I took 1 Zoloft for the first time and within THE DAY I had a severe panic attack and started freaking out and feeling suicidal. No more Zoloft and I was fine.",-0.9818,negative,agreeing
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,speaker,5,Okay thank you kind person! Sorry to hear you struggled too in the guessing game of psychiatric meds! I'll contact my doctor when i can but for now I'll be a zombie lol Have a great day\··/,0.9258,positive,sympathizing
564,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone used risperidona?,listener_1,6,"You're welcome! I'm sorry you're struggling. It's not uncommon, but it does suck. I hope you have a good day too. Be kind to yourself. <3",0.8655,positive,sympathizing
565,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice on a bad habit,speaker,1,"Tw: selfharm  I've developed this habit of stratching up my arms  whenever I'm anxious or about to have an anxiety attack and I need some advice on stopping it. The problem is when I'm having an anxiety attack I'm very compulsive and I don't exactly think of it as a problem, it's more like something I NEED to do or deserve. My arms look like I've gotten into some sort of bad accident because I break skin and if the administrators at my school find out I do this I'm going to get Baker acted. Please send help.",-0.9259,negative,ashamed
565,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice on a bad habit,listener_1,2,"Three tips I have for you:  1. If you can, carry ice cubes with you. If you feel that urge, hold the ice cubes in your hand. It will HURT and give you the same release you'd get from self-harming but it won't leave a scar. 2. Carry around a red marker. When you feel like self-harming, draw all over your arms instead of scratching or cutting.  3. Try this free course: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)",0.8209,positive,prepared
565,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice on a bad habit,speaker,3,"I'll try that, thank you!",0.4199,positive,wishing
565,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice on a bad habit,listener_2,4,"My scars are not even very visible thanks to this trick, good luck friend",0.9017,positive,wishing
565,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,1,Please I have no idea what to do anymore I am stuck in the worst rut of my life and believe me iv been in a few of them but none of them compare to this I am 16 still in college and live with my mum and I dont think she realises or understands the magnitude of my problems right now and what is going on in my head after ringing several mental health helplines I have found none of them to be much help all of them basically do the same kind of thing I have tried posting about it on an app I have and no one seems to want to help me my brain is toxic right now and each day takes a massive toll out of me having to deal with the negative thoughts and affirmations its giving me I need some advice on how I can get rid of them or manage them so they dont do what they are doing right now,-0.5789,negative,sad
565,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,2,Not only that but all this is getting me real down what im dealing with right now,0.0,neutral,sad
565,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,3,Thank you so much for replying to me I will deffo take a look at that!:),0.4199,positive,wishing
565,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_1,4,You’re welcome! I hope it helps! 😊💗,0.9637,positive,consoling
566,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm losing my mind...,speaker,1,"In a nutshell I grew up being mentally and emotionally abused by my grandfather and feeling abandoned and abused by my father. Then ending up in abusive relationships. So with those came severe anxiety, PTSD, and a lot of mental issues. In September of 2016 I lost my Aunt, three days later a very dear friend, and two days later my husband. I ended up losing my house, my car, my job within that first month of losing him. I was beyond devastated, I didn't get out of bed for five months. I tried to get help and was told to grieve naturally, take Niacin, and use essential oils. Then placed on a waiting list for therapy. Things were horrible. I was having anxiety attacks several times a day to the point I would vomit, I locked myself away from everyone even my children. I rarely ever stopped crying. Most of my family and feiends walked away bc i was too sad to deal with, so i was alone. Six months later I got a job, started seeing a guy got a car, and was feeling ok mentally. About a month into my job I started to get sick. I started to have migraines that caused me to go blind, I couldn't breath if it got remotely hot out, and my body just hurt bad. I went to the doctor and my world shattered again when I was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. Not to mention that the guy I was seeing started ghosting me after he found out. Once again my world came crashing down and I was alone. My job fired me bc I was sick. I had to choose between selling my car or losing my apartment so I sold my car. Three months later found out I was going to be completely deaf in five years or less due to nerve damage. And the whole time I'm told by the people in my life is it will get better with time, don't dwell on what you can't change, you have to move on, and my favorite you just want to stay miserable. I don't want to be miserable, I don't want any of the feelings I have. I want to be ok I want to wake up and just for one day feel ok more than anything in this world. I'd like to make it through one day without feeling like everyone would be better off if I was dead. I'd like to go through one day and not feel like I failed as a mother, a daughter, a partner. I don't enjoy the nightmares, the sleep walking, the constant worry, the panic attacks, the anxiety. I don't enjoy feeling completely and utterly alone. I get stuck inside my own head and can't get out. I isolate myself from the world. The thoughts never stop. Its like I can't function anymore. I feel like the world is going on around me and I'm stuck in slow motion. I rarely leave my house anymore. The anxiety is overwhelming. I don't talk to anyone bc I just make them sad and they start distancing themselves from me. My own father hasn't talked to me in a year bc me being sad and sick is too much for him to deal with. Not to mention I got drunk and sent my bf a four page email about what goes on in my head and how I feel and he has been distancing himself and told me he's really worried about me. I feel like I'm losing my mind. All of these people who are suppose to support you, be there for you, walk away.  My step mother told me my dad is just having a hard time dealing with me being sick. Don't they realize I'm the one who is sick, I am the one who is living three of my worst fears every day of my life. I'm told I shouldn't feel angry about it. I should let it go. I just feel so lost anymore. I just want to be ok.",-0.9987,negative,devastated
566,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm losing my mind...,listener_1,2,"It might not help, and I might not be the right person to help you but let a 16 year old tell you: You matter",0.0954,positive,suggesting
566,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm losing my mind...,speaker,3,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,speaker,1,"Over the past couple of years I've struggled with anxiety, depression, eating disorders and most recently SH. I'm really struggling hard right now, and I'm going to my doctor on the 14th of August. Should I mention my struggle to him again. I mentioned it once and he put me on Zoloft, which was ass. I want to stop feeling nasty, but theres been so many different things I've struggled with over the past little while, that I feel like I'm faking it for attention. I often think about how it would feel if someone knew what I was going through. I feel like I absolutely crave the attention.  For context, I have a mom who loves to tell stories about illness and hardship for attention. Example, when I was in grade 12 I contracted C. Diff (nasty bacteria that makes you shit) and I was violently I'll for the first two weeks of school. I got down to 100lbs at 5'6"". Nasty. My mom came out of her room one day while I was sick and said I had also made her sick, which was not true. I called out her bullshit but the whole day she didnt do anything and moaned about how sick she was. When no one in the family responded, she was magically better the next day. I love her, but she does this stuff all the time.  Sometimes I feel like I'm exactly like her and faking all my mental illnesses for attention, but I really feel shitty right now and could use some help. Should I reach out to my doc again and get some help, or am I faking all this for attention? I genuinely cannot tell anymore.",-0.9946,negative,anxious
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,listener_1,2,"Regardless if you feel you are faking it or not, you should tell your therapist exactly what you wrote here. Therapists can't help people if they're not getting the full story.   If your therapist is still shit and isn't helping, I'd try finding a therapist that can help and does listen.   And Zoloft is awful IMO. That shit made me want to kill myself. So your meds might not be working for you. You might want to try something like Lexapro or Paxil.   You can also try this: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  Helped me more than meds and therapy. I mean, my therapist was wonderful and helped me SO MUCH in a lot of ways, but that \^\^ really did the trick for me.",-0.7826,negative,agreeing
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,speaker,3,This is a good reply. Thank you!,0.69,positive,wishing
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,listener_1,4,You're welcome. I hope it helps and you start to feel better! :),0.9286,positive,consoling
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,speaker,5,Damn.... I appreciate you,0.0,neutral,grateful
567,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a fake,listener_2,6,"Thank you, friend! I wish you the best of luck, and make sure you tell him everything, don’t leave anything out. Please",0.9601,positive,wishing
568,MentalHealthSupport,IM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER PLEASE HELP!,speaker,1,"This is kind of a long read, so sorry.  Hello, I am a 23 year old sister to my 16 year old brother. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, if you are aware of the disorder it’s a living HELL. Growing up, my father was mentally physically and emotionally abusive to both my mother and I. I don’t want to go into many details but, he was satan himself. He was drunk all the time, he would eat in-front of my mother and say she couldn’t eat because she was fat. (She was about 8 months pregnant with my brother.) He would beat on both of us. He would cheat on her and brag about it.  My mother did everything in her power to escape. Which she did for about 3 years until she got diagnosed with cancer and went back to my father just so my brother wouldn’t be alone. She sadly passed away this past November. Yes the abuse continued till the day she died. She left him over $800,000 and a brand new house. My brother and I never saw a DIME. Since my mom passed my brother has been acting strange.  I AM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER.  My brother was a regular baby growing up I guess. He cried a little more than normal but an overall okay cute little baby. As a toddler my brother still wasn’t talking or walking. So, my mother hired an in home special needs teacher who said he was mentally delayed. My brother learned “baby sign language” very fast so we all knew he was very smart. He was very shy but would only really sign to me to communicate what it was that he needed/wanted. I was his best friend as he was mine since making friends was hard for me with bpd. My brother would get frustrated very easily since it was hard to communicate. He would vomit on purpose when he was up set and smile when someone else cleaned it up. We had an earthquake (very rare on the east coast) my mom and I were frantic, my brother was laughing, smiling!!! When my brother was 5 years old, we were visiting our grandparents for the summer. They would always say he was retarded   and lazy that he just didn’t want to talk and walk. (Its a stigma that African Americans don’t have mental health issues) It was really late at night and my brother and I snuck to the kitchen to get some cereal and milk, and I shit you not, he SAID “can I have captain crunch, and I’m NOT retarded.” And got up and started walking!!!!!!!! I was on the other hand SHITTING bricks. The way he said it sounded like a mad professor who’s been talking for years! It’s like he was comfortable showing me what he knew he could do all along! Mind you my brother is very sweet and caring, wouldn’t hurt a fly!   As a teen my brother is currently on the football team at his school and I so awesome! He also has a hard time with school work. He’s a D student. He would rather read than listen to the lectures. He is also ALWAYS playing video games but I guess most teens do. (I’m super guilty) When my mother sat us down and told us about her diagnosis, my first instinct was to cry(she was the best, the one who got me help) My brother on the other hand stated with a monotoned voice and expression “how long do you have to live”. We were shocked! Since that day his emotions have been gone! Completely erased. He didn’t shed a tear when the hospital called, at her funeral, after the funeral or any time for that matter. I told him it’s okay to cry and he said “she’s okay now why cry?” I again was shocked! He’s very religious(We aren’t a religious family)   I went to visit him as a surprise the other day and he was so happy! We’ve missed each other. I wish I could take custody but I can barely survive on my own. I went upstairs to the kitchen to make us a snack and I saw a stuffed bear on the counter torn to shreds with multiple knives in it. It’s like I saw myself in my brother! I was so scared! So I went in his room to look for the worst... his mattress on his beat was stabbed multiple times.... his couch had knife wounds in it. I was scared no for others safety but for what’s going on in his head. He’s a sweetheart with lots of friends.   I’m asking for help since I can’t take him to get a diagnosis since he is in the care of my father. My father is also trying to get “power of attorney” for me?? What do you think this is? Is it bpd? Please and thanks!",0.971,positive,terrified
568,MentalHealthSupport,IM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER PLEASE HELP!,listener_1,2,Did you ever consider what it would be like for an innocent person with bpd to come upon this post and be told they make life a living hell?,-0.1779,negative,devastated
568,MentalHealthSupport,IM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER PLEASE HELP!,listener_2,3,My sister is diagnosed with bpd and I can certainly say she can make my life a living hell. That being said my sister is not the one at fault  it’s her illness. My sisters illness has affected my life in more ways then one but I know it’s not her it’s her illness and I still loves her no matter what. Bpd is hell and that’s the truth that is why there are medications and therapies to help these people out. I wish you love on your journey and remember you don’t make life hell,-0.3635,negative,faithful
568,MentalHealthSupport,IM SCARED FOR MY BROTHER PLEASE HELP!,speaker,4,"Make life a living hell for me in my experience, not anyone else. I am also not medicated by choice. So it’s extra hard. It’s not a walk in the park. With therapy I’m doing my best.  Am I not an innocent person with bpd? I didn’t ask for this and I’m sure no once else has either. Everyone with this disorder experiences different symptoms and copes in different ways. If you have bpd, I wish you a safe journey.",-0.1343,negative,content
569,MentalHealthSupport,I messed up..... I need to be punished..... it’s the only way I’ll learn.....,speaker,1,I snuck some soda after my mom threatened to hit me if I did it again.... I didn’t get hit but I need to be punished.... I have to punish myself..... And if I do something wrong I have to be punished.... that’s how she got me to learn not to act up.,-0.9625,negative,guilty
569,MentalHealthSupport,I messed up..... I need to be punished..... it’s the only way I’ll learn.....,listener_1,2,"No, you don’t. Your mother hitting and beating you is not ok, at all. Don’t do this to yourself, kid. You need to call CPS",-0.4588,negative,angry
569,MentalHealthSupport,I messed up..... I need to be punished..... it’s the only way I’ll learn.....,speaker,3,She already has 2 strikes. But I am posting to r/Assistance.,-0.1901,negative,surprised
569,MentalHealthSupport,I messed up..... I need to be punished..... it’s the only way I’ll learn.....,speaker,4,I did just post in r/Assistance,0.0,neutral,faithful
569,MentalHealthSupport,I messed up..... I need to be punished..... it’s the only way I’ll learn.....,listener_2,5,"Good. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a safe situation and it’s best to get out of those. Good luck, if you ever need anyone to listen I’m available",0.9545,positive,wishing
570,MentalHealthSupport,I Need advice please,speaker,1,Hello i am in serious trouble and i dont know what do to. My depression anxiety and othee mental problems are troubling me again even though i take medication. And tbh i want to go back into a closed clinic my problem is that i wouldnt be insured and wouldnt earn money simply said i would in dept my family by it. But i cant handle it any longer. Right now i have to work in a factory. But i m only there  because of a Zeitarbeitsfirma and i have been told that i wouldnt be insured if i stop working there.  I am 24 and living in Germany  but somehow it feels like nothing helps the agency normaly helping told me since i am 24 my family would have to pay for the insurence because they wont. So i feel stuck working willst on the  edge to a complete breakdown,-0.8891,negative,afraid
570,MentalHealthSupport,I Need advice please,listener_1,2,"There’s a website called 7cups that offers free emotional support conversations with volunteer listeners, and group chats. I can’t think of a way to deal with money situation, but maybe talking to someone could help? I know it’s not a solution but maybe it could help a bit. I’m sorry you’re going through it, good luck with getting better. And if you want to talk to me instead that’s ok too, I’m happy to help if I can. Don’t forget that you’re amazing and the future always holds something bright if you chase it.",0.9909,positive,suggesting
570,MentalHealthSupport,I Need advice please,speaker,3,Thank you for your answer i will try that after work. Have to go in a few minutes hopefully i manage the shift.,0.6369,positive,encouraging
570,MentalHealthSupport,I Need advice please,listener_1,4,"Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you",0.872,positive,wishing
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,speaker,1,"Not sure how many characters I can post, and it's not something that I want to test.   I'll try to keep it short.  I'm not here for pity, I have no one to talk to. Ok right now I'm questioning myself as to how fucking ridiculous I sound  Is anyone one  out there? I hate myself and I'm dying. Fuck oh god the hesitation to hit post. I'm lost",-0.9094,negative,apprehensive
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,listener_1,2,"You want to talk? be patient, people will find you. What do you want to talk about?   One minute after the other",0.2406,positive,questioning
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,speaker,3,"Thanks for the reply. Do I want to talk? I dont even know. I've seen a psychologist and it was a disappointing experience to say the least. I struggle so much with my mental health that I'm just stuck in one place, for over 3 years. It feels like my mind keeps me from achieving anything, which might sound like I'm lazy, and I'm not by far. People around me (as in family) are not very supportive and I'm quite hated for my ""lack"" of enthusiasm.  I've had a VERY ROUGH childhood. The support groups that are available to me are religious in nature and not something I would seek out.   I'm just so messed up, no one willing to listen to me or give me a chance.  I hate my guts.  Btw I'm a coward. I couldn't kill myself (in a way) . I've been driving every one close to me away including my kids.(just had birthday and no one noticed, except my mother)I've been drinking myself to death and I'm almost done.   Dont know if I can or worth saving.",-0.9417,negative,lonely
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,speaker,4,"Ok, in my other post I mentioned rough upbringing.  By any means it's not the worst that a lot of kids still go through, and I hurt for them, so I'm not sure how to approach it.",-0.3252,negative,sentimental
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,speaker,5,Not sure if I reply here or try to get help in the original post? I'm very new to all this.,0.4657,positive,apprehensive
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,listener_1,6,"It is worth. It is worth. My daughter has been in the same mental state as you are, same circumstance (lacking the kids), Alcohol etc... She wrote a post on reddit, telling the world how much she wanted to kill herself.   She sent me a screen of said post. Afterwards, things didn‘t improve really for some time... it was one hell of a time.   until perchance we found the right doctor (after having visited so many). He listened. He took her seriously. He diagnosed her. It was the first step, the crucial step out of her misery.   Not all is allright now, but treatment, finding a doctor who would listen, finding the right doctor for her, she slowly got better.   Go out, reach out, it is hard I know, but there is a person, a doctor, a therapist who will fit to you and will help you. Do not give up looking for him!! He IS there. Things can get better. First step is to be taken serious which was a huge relief for her. And having a diagnose, to set a name to all her going-throughs.   Find this doctor.",0.95,positive,afraid
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,listener_2,7,"If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.  **US:**  Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741  **Non-US:**  [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)    ---    ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^bot.  ^^Feedback ^^appreciated.",0.2297,positive,apprehensive
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,listener_3,8,"Everyone is effected differently. Just because it wasn’t the worse, doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt you.",-0.7579,negative,neutral
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,speaker,9,"Ofcourse I teared up reading this, as maybe there's some hope for me. Thank you so much for the encouraging words, I appreciate you",0.8885,positive,caring
571,MentalHealthSupport,I have no idea how to deal with myself.,listener_1,10,You are very welcome. You are not alone with your struggles.,0.368,positive,sympathizing
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,speaker,1,"For the past year I have been experiencing bad anxiety, trust issues, nightmares, panic attacks, anger issues, and the list goes on. I have bad memories of my past that I always think about.   Long story short my mom was a drug addict and always got arrested. My moms ex husband beat me, and my mom. I was molested by my friends brother. My dad side my dad and I were never close, and my stepmom mentally abused me. So I got it from both sides for 18 years.   I have never experienced these things until I left for the Army and got stationed in Texas on Active Duty status. I come home and little things set me off in a rage. My wife helps me a lot when I have panic attacks, and she deals with my anger very well. I love her to death and she is my everything.  I would NEVER lay a hand on her, however she told me times shes tried to wake me up in the past year. I've put her in head locks, elbowed her, and swung a few times in my sleep without me knowing. I never knew this until she told me a week ago.   I need help, and need to figure out what's wrong with me...",-0.9831,negative,terrified
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,listener_1,2,It sounds a lot like PTSD. Almost textbook. I'd be seeing someone professionally if I were you.,0.3612,positive,acknowledging
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,listener_2,3,Agree.,0.3612,positive,agreeing
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,speaker,4,I just dont understand how I have PTSD...,0.0,neutral,afraid
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,listener_1,5,"You've described a lot of trauma in your past, it's quite possible, especially with the symptoms you describe.  PTSD has a variant called C-PTSD and this is common in adults who were abused as children.  It's a common misconception that PTSD only comes from experiences such as war, but the reality is that any traumatic experience has the potential to trigger it.",-0.8898,negative,questioning
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,listener_2,6,"All of this, yes. I got diagnosed with PTSD due to an abusive childhood.",-0.2675,negative,agreeing
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,speaker,7,Man....would have never known to even think about me having PTSD,0.0,neutral,surprised
572,MentalHealthSupport,I need help bad. Something is wrong with me.,listener_1,8,"I live with it, that's how I was able to recognise it. Your first paragraph tipped me off.  The good news is that awareness plus therapy can help greatly with symptoms. Therapy will teach you strategies to minimise the effect on your life.  There's also a pill called Prazosin that is incredible for the nightmares that lead to violent behaviour while asleep, my nightmares all but disappeared. Unfortunately I developed POTS because of it and had to stop taking it.",-0.7845,negative,grateful
573,MentalHealthSupport,I need y’all help,speaker,1,Hi I’m sorry for doing this but I need a favor I’m feeling extra horrible tonight and I would appreciate it greatly if you could in the comments remind me why I should not commit suicide. Thank you very much and again I’m sorry.,0.5248,positive,sympathizing
573,MentalHealthSupport,I need y’all help,listener_1,2,"People who love you will miss you. And yes, there are a lot of people who love you",0.8885,positive,sad
573,MentalHealthSupport,I need y’all help,speaker,3,Your right it would be selfish it would be horrible I can’t I just can’t do that to the people I love,-0.34,negative,sentimental
573,MentalHealthSupport,I need y’all help,speaker,4,I’m fine I just needed that we don’t have to talk it’s ok,0.4588,positive,content
574,MentalHealthSupport,I blame myself for my mother’s depression and anxiety.,speaker,1,"Hey everyone, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder 2 years ago. That’s about when I graduated from one of the top colleges in my country and landed a great job in a best friend’s brothers startup. Worked there for about a year and everything was going great, we were very successful and making decent money etc. Then the mania kicked in and I started to really feel as if I had to do something else so I quit my job, distanced myself from my friend who still worked with his brother and moved back with my parents.  My mother always had some depression and anxiety issues but a couple months ago, things hit rock bottom. I’ve been looking for a new job for about 2-3 months now and she is not doing well at all. I blame myself for her condition, I believe that if I had shut my mania and kept working, she wouldn’t be like this. My father is very supportive but he is clueless about depression and everything. He also takes her to a hospital on a regular basis to see a psychiatrist but all they do is give her tons of meds. She sleeps all day and always highly anxious. I am trying really hard to find a new job but couldn’t manage to do so yet. I just wanted to tell someone how I feel, thanks Reddit.",-0.0165,neutral,lonely
574,MentalHealthSupport,I blame myself for my mother’s depression and anxiety.,listener_1,2,"As a mother of a diagnosed bipolar: it is NOT your fault. Not. Never.  Does she try to get treated? Does she seek help, speak with other persons who have a diagnosed child too?",0.6506,positive,questioning
574,MentalHealthSupport,I blame myself for my mother’s depression and anxiety.,speaker,3,"Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.",0.6697,positive,sympathizing
574,MentalHealthSupport,I blame myself for my mother’s depression and anxiety.,speaker,4,"Thank you for your response, I am medicated and I see a psychiatrist once a week for therapy.  I often talk to my mom to comfort her, ask how she’s feeling, caress her hair etc. She sometimes asks me “When is this going to be over?” Which is the exact question I asked myself when I was depressed and anxious. I try to tell her she has to give it some time and this is going to pass no matter what and I am going to be by her side to help her get through this but I can barely hold myself not to burst into tears. Nope, I am not in the States :/",-0.5479999999999999,negative,caring
575,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a disaster of a person to be around,speaker,1,"I feel as if nobody ever wants to talk with me or laugh with me. It's as if people find excuses just to not hang out with me. Honestly, I don't blame them.",0.8242,positive,lonely
575,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a disaster of a person to be around,listener_1,2,"Don't degrade yourself for having people around you who can't appreciate you. I'm sure they are missing out, an I don't even know you. The fact you are feeling bad about this situation only proves you are a social person. You are about to find people who enjoy your company, I promise. Stay open minded and don't stress out about your current situation. Good things will happen eventually.",0.7894,positive,trusting
575,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a disaster of a person to be around,listener_2,3,"Me too, anytime <3",0.0,neutral,agreeing
576,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell work?,speaker,1,"Hi everyone,  So a while ago I posted that I was struggling. I had gone to the hospital before posting and they changed my medication around but the changes hadnt kicked in yet.   So the good news is I'm doing way better now. The medication definetaly helped and ive also seen my family doctor. I'm also going into counselling long term to help maintain everything.   Another thing that has really helped is I finally got a job. I've been there for a week and so far it is awesome!   But here's the thing, I have upcoming followup appointments as well as future counselling appointments. My work is great in that they've outright said they're ok with leaving early or coming in late to go to appointments as long as you make up the time another day. I've scheduled my appointments in the afternoon so I could just leave work an hour early and be fine.   What I'm worried about is what to tell them. I'm kind of nervous to just say I have doctors appointments so close together because they might think I'm not telling the truth. They've had issues with attendance with my predecessor.   Part of me wants to fully disclose that I have depression, I was struggling for a bit before I got the job and these are followup appointments. I want to be an advocate for mental health in the workplace (I'm in human resources) and I think it would be good to be open about it to a certain extent.   So does anyone have any suggestions?",0.9665,positive,grateful
576,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell work?,listener_1,2,"It's easy enough to prove where you went; just ask the doctor for a note on letterhead. It takes them a few minutes and most are happy to do it.  Honesty will go a longv way, too. You're not obliged to disclose what's going on, but it sounds like they're open to negotiating with you so if you're open about it and you make up the hours, it should be okay.  As you get into a routine with work you should be able to be consistent with booking appointments so that your boss knows when to expect you each week. Routine and predictability will work on both sides.",0.879,positive,trusting
576,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell work?,listener_2,3,This. \^\^ Good advice. Agree.,0.6597,positive,agreeing
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,speaker,1,"So I have depression, PTSD, anxiety, Asperger Syndrome, just for context  My parents, specifically my mother, are responsible for most of my mental health issues and I’m unable to get any form of therapy because of my autism and some physical disabilities.   Over the past week I’ve been having intense and violent nightmares. The first one was about my ex girlfriend (who was emotionally abusive) assaulting me physically, verbally and sexually. The second one was about her stalking me and attacking me again.  The last nightmare was only last night and that was the most real out of all of them. It was more like some kind of twisted vision. In it, I lost it at my mother and beat the shit out of her, before vandalising my father’s car. As a result I ended up homeless and sobbing in the streets, alternating between knowing I was dreaming and thinking that the hell I was feeling was real.   Over the past three days I’ve had intense urges to cut my hair off, binge eat French fries, and scream at my mother that it’s her fault. I’m filled with violence and hatred towards her and my father and it’s terrifying me because I’m not like that at all.   I think if I’m not careful I’ll either be in the back of a cop car or in a straitjacket. Idk what to do, I need help.",-0.9892,negative,terrified
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,listener_1,2,"I think it's a great sign that you have the claruty to see the path you're on, and the strength to admit it.  It is probably best to get some sort of professional help immediately, if you can adfird a psychiatrist or therapist, then great, but if not (like most of us), check yourself into a hospital.  Long term, I think you need to have frank and civil discussions with your mother about how you feel and why you feel that way.  If your ex was abusive, then don't bother trying the same with her; you'll just have to write her off as a piece of shit.  Also long term, try to immerse yourself in a hobby or interest.  Going to the gym is a great stress reliever.  I absolutely hate working out, but I LOVE having worked out.  If you want to talk more, feel free to PM me.  Good luck, and remember we're all here for you!",0.9755,positive,trusting
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,speaker,3,I will take your advice into consideration. It means a lot to me. Thank you.,0.3612,positive,trusting
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,listener_1,4,"Any time, partner.  Breathing is key, too.  Sorry, I'm by no means a profesdional, but I've been through some shit myself, and I think I understand what you're feeling.",-0.7096,negative,agreeing
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,speaker,5,"Your words mean a lot, I’m really grateful. I’m just having some water atm and it’s helping a little. Thanks again.",0.7964,positive,grateful
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,listener_1,6,"Good idea! If you need me, I'm here!",0.5399,positive,acknowledging
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,speaker,7,:),0.4588,positive,wishing
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,listener_1,8,:),0.4588,positive,wishing
577,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m gonna kill someone,speaker,9,Sure,0.3182,positive,agreeing
578,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone ever had a point in life where their personality was a blank slate? How did you get through it?,speaker,1,"I just feel like everything about me is different now. From my sexuality, to my gender identity, even my hobbies and passions. Everything I used to love I know see with boredom or indifference. I've been repressing these feelings for years, feigning interest in my hobbies and repressing the weird parts of my sexuality. I wanna be able to confront this whole situation once and for all. I've been seeing a therapist, and to a certain extent I've been making progress, but I think what I need right now is a story. Someone else's story of them making it through a situation similar to mine. If anyone out there can relate, and has made it through, I'd really like some encouragement.",0.9088,positive,lonely
578,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone ever had a point in life where their personality was a blank slate? How did you get through it?,speaker,2,Anyone?,0.0,neutral,questioning
578,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone ever had a point in life where their personality was a blank slate? How did you get through it?,listener_1,3,"100% with you on that one, I hate the idea of seeming boring. It takes time but just doing n trying new things n pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the way to do, if you wanna talk DM me!",0.1386,positive,agreeing
579,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know who else to turn to,speaker,1,"So in the last month, I've lost my job. Then my boyfriend broke up with me for someone else 3 weeks later, and in the last week my best friend has attempted suicide twice.  I feel like my life is crashing down around me. I'm losing everything and everyone I love.  I've been there for everyone over the last few weeks, including my ex before I found out about the other woman (he was also in a bad place mentally and I still cared). I was there both times my friend attempted, and made sure she got the help she needed but now she just wants to be alone. I'm there for everyone, but keep wondering who is there for me? I'm keeping this all to myself because our little circle of friends has so much going on in their own lives, they know the basics but not the details. It makes it harder that my ex and I have the same friends.  I'm not resentful towards my ex or my best friend, because everyone deals with their own issues in different ways. I might not agree with it but it is what it is. Sorry for the incoherence of this post, I just needed to let it all out because I feel like I'm going to explode and I'm not really sure how to deal with my feelings as well as everyone elses?",0.9759,positive,devastated
579,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know who else to turn to,listener_1,2,"How do you deal with your feelings? Are you talkative? Or more the ,sort things in silence?‘   Either way, I would highly recommend you to talk to someone, preferably outside your friends circle. For a start, where you live - is there a number to call for talking anonymous stuff? If so, start there.",0.7994,positive,questioning
579,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know who else to turn to,speaker,3,"I'm a ""pretend everything is okay"" kind of person. I'll look into finding a number I can call - thanks for the advice.",0.5719,positive,wishing
579,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know who else to turn to,listener_1,4,"Do that. The person on the other end is trained to deal with this calls. Plus, they don‘t know you so feel free to speak. Find out what is the next step in dealing with all these.  People like you who are always there for others often forget or don‘t even know how to take good care of the self. You are the most important person in your life. Treat you at least as good as you would treat a friend.",0.9715,positive,trusting
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,1,"I already see a therapist for my anger at the behest of my fiancé. It has been hugely helpful and I try to do everything I can to remain aware and mindful of my mental and physiological state.  That said, I had a mega-explosion this weekend. I’ve had them a handful of times, but this was next level. Locked myself in the bathroom screaming all sorts of terrible things at my fiancé. LOTS of pent up resentment happening here, but not necessarily nothing I haven’t communicated before. My issue has been the lack of fiancé’s effort in our mutual alignment, and I find myself blaming so much of it on her. That said, it was like I was possessed, screaming and sobbing like a maniac for hours.  Needless to say I’m exhausted. She’s exhausted. We have agreed to take space for a few days before we both feel ready to talk about it. We are three months from the wedding, and I know there are cold feet happening on either end, but to have a meltdown like this... there’s no way to fully explain it here, but I was not myself. I literally broke the door from the inside, banging on it telling her to go away because she wouldn’t. I was a monster.  I’ve been researching symptoms of depression and bipolar. I don’t really fit either of these. But being around my fiancé has been giving me such incredible anxiety lately and I couldn’t contain it. Maybe even didn’t want to contain it. Maybe was glad to express all of it. Maybe still am. I hate how I did it, but I am so furious. I’m so tired of being mad and anxious.  My therapist is not a doctor so no diagnosis. My fiancé thinks I need meds. Does this sound like anything??",-0.9943,negative,ashamed
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_1,2,"Anxiety about the upcoming wedding and subsequent commitment maybe? Possibly having second thoughts, since you mentioned cold feet?  Definitely talk to your therapist about this. I don't think it sounds like a disorder so much as a buildup of stress that overloaded.",0.2406,positive,suggesting
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,3,I think so too. I just feel like a psycho and it felt like someone else was driving. Scared us both.,0.2732,positive,agreeing
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_1,4,"Not pleasant, I imagine",-0.4023,negative,acknowledging
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,5,That link doesn't appear to go anywhere.,0.0,neutral,annoyed
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_2,6,Try it again. I think the URL link freaked out. Sorry about that.,-0.3612,negative,sympathizing
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,7,Do what exactly did you do? Online workshop?,0.0,neutral,questioning
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_2,8,"Yep. It's a free, private, anonymous, self-paced online workshop. It teaches you techniques to get to the root of your emotions through a loving and compassionate approach and then it gives you tools on how to work through those emotions.",0.9118,positive,neutral
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,9,Well damn. I’ll try anything at this point.,-0.1531,negative,neutral
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_2,10,"And that's at the point I did as well. lol   Seriously, the majority of people that learn this modality are usually at rock bottom and are willing to try ANYTHING to get better. When I did it, I was either going to kill myself or try the workshop. REALLY glad I did the workshop. :)",0.8139,positive,grateful
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,11,Well I have signed up. We will see how this goes. Thank you so much for the suggestion,0.5574,positive,wishing
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_2,12,You're welcome! I really hope it works for you. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat or need help. <3,0.915,positive,encouraging
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,speaker,13,God Reddit is the best. You're the best. Thanks!,0.9286,positive,grateful
580,MentalHealthSupport,Had an anger explosion at a level like I’ve never had. Does my situation sound like a disorder?,listener_2,14,You’re welcome! And thank you! 😊💗,0.9515,positive,wishing
581,MentalHealthSupport,Questions about Therapy?,speaker,1,I’ve never spoke with a therapist but I’m loosely considering it. I work a stressful job and I’ve let work kind of take over. I don’t even know where to start. How does one find a therapist?,-0.6652,negative,apprehensive
581,MentalHealthSupport,Questions about Therapy?,listener_1,2,Contact your insurance provider first and see what your policy covers and if you need a referral.,0.0,neutral,questioning
581,MentalHealthSupport,Questions about Therapy?,speaker,3,That’s a good idea. I’ve been kinda unsure about letting anyone know this is something I want to pursue. I will ask though. Thanks for suggesting that!,0.6893,positive,acknowledging
581,MentalHealthSupport,Questions about Therapy?,listener_2,4,Hope you find what you are looking for.  Another recommendation I can make is look into CBT for mood management.,0.4404,positive,consoling
581,MentalHealthSupport,Questions about Therapy?,speaker,5,Didn’t even know such a thing existed. Will give this a try.,0.0,neutral,neutral
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",speaker,1,"I see Reddit as a fun and nice community place, and I don't wan't to down anyone's day with this question or anything, I just can't find a site where I can ask this to properly, except Reddit, and I don't even know if people even ask these kinds of questions here but I need help to understand whatever this is,   I keep getting these extremely vivid pictures flash in my head, It doesn't happen often, but when I look at someone, I get these extremely gruesome and realistic visions of them dying for a split second, it's so vivid that sometimes I struggle to know if the visions real or not, the thing that disturbes me the most is that when I see these visions, I usually feel rather amused and happy by it, to the point where most the time when I get them, I laugh. For example, I was in maths, and my teacher was being really rude, and mocking people who we're bad at maths, I got angry and very suddenly I saw him fall back as a bullet burst right through his head, bringing parts of his brain with him, I could tell what was going on but it was a simple image, and when it all went back to normal, I started laughing out of the blue, to the point where the person sitting next to me got visibly disturbed. after that it happens now and again, and it makes me feel fuzzy inside, kind of like the feeling you get when you see your crush or something like that, I exposed myself to gore at a very young age, I suffer with depression and am currently 14, and obviously going through puberty, I don't know if any of this could inflict what my brain keeps producing, but its creeping me out, especially how happy it makes me to see people I know die, has this happened to anyone before, or does anyone know any information on this?",-0.1172,negative,embarrassed
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",listener_1,2,"I understand how you feel I'm also 14 and twisted stuff makes me feel "" happy "" too. I don't really know what to do either so I can really do is let you know your not alone.",0.6641,positive,agreeing
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",speaker,3,"Thank you, so much, Its really nice to know, its been quite disturbing for me for a good while so knowing that it isn't as abnormal as I thought means a lot to me,",0.5994,positive,acknowledging
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",speaker,4,"I do, when I end up feeling overwhelmingly cheerful I start to shake, the mere thought that seeing people die is a joke and amusing to me, makes me wonder what I could do, or am capable of, I believe I used to suffer with what I think is called Psychopathic depression, or something along the lines of that, because in the past I'd get these hysterical moments where I feel no remorse, thinking I'm better than anyone else because I believed I was capable of killing people I hated and that I could hide from society, and kill as long as I acted how I always have, planned the deaths of numerous people in graphic ways, I got them when I was going to sleep and got them 5-6 times in a year, but ended up scaring myself with what I thought of the thoughts in the morning, I got those episodes only about a year ago, around 12-13 years old, and it scares me even more that I know I'm capable of killing someone, and getting in the right mindset to do so, so when these moments come around, I feel dangerous and feel so detached from who I really am, most the time I get them when someone annoys me or I know they're doing something I don't like, but the odd moment I see an innocent or helpless person, i have the flashes. And those scare me the most, because they're usually the most graphic, like my brain knows how far I could go with each person, without harm coming to me, I really don't know what to think of it, because not being funny I've had a pretty good life, my parents are lovely, and I've always been close with my brothers, my family outside my household are very loving, the only things I could think of is that I think I was around weed very young, because my nana was a bit of a hippy and she looked after me for a while, I've always been very protective of my younger brother because he suffers from a large variety of special needs, I was violent in primary school, and I was around my psychopathic cousin a lot, but I can't remember a lot of those things, so I doubt they mean a lot, by the way thank you for commenting and taking time to ask, and explain it means a lot to me, because I've struggled silently for this for a while, and its nice to know people care, If anything I just wanted a chance to understand what I'm feeling and explain it so I didn't just keep it in my head for a long time, thank you so much!",-0.8373,negative,nostalgic
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",listener_2,5,"You're so welcome. If I were in your shoes (and when I was in your shoes--because I did have scary thoughts like that) I talked to my therapist about them and he helped me figure out why my brain goes there and what's triggering it to go down that train of thought. So I'd recommend finding a therapist or psychiatrist that is helpful and that you can TRUST.   My therapist reassured me that everyone has weird aggressive thoughts like that now and then and it can feel quite scary.   I do think it's a form of OCD it's just that your OCD manifests as intrusive violent thoughts.  Here's an interesting article. It sounds like you have what's called ""Harm OCD"":  [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201702/mental-illness-and-violence-would-i-do](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/think-act-be/201702/mental-illness-and-violence-would-i-do)",0.8132,positive,trusting
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",speaker,6,"Thank you so much! I'm not sure if I wan't to ask my mum for me to get a therapist because she'd be quite concerned, but I'll definitely have a look at the article, thank you again!",0.825,positive,agreeing
582,MentalHealthSupport,"I keep seeing people I know die in my head, and I can't stop it.",listener_2,7,You’re welcome! If you don’t want to see a therapist you can always try this as well: www.innerpathways.org,0.69,positive,suggesting
583,MentalHealthSupport,my lifes going good but still depressed,speaker,1,"I M18 just got my degree to attend university,  got a job that pays really really well, have gotten accepted at my preferred course of studies, have a really good connection to my parents a lot of really nice people that I can call my friend.   My parents and I have planned a really nice trip to the US,   But still sometimes I just lay in my bed and start to cry, I'm normally not a to emotional guy but don't have a problem showing them to others.   I don't really feel depressed normally but sometimes a wave of sadness overcomes me.  The thing is I'm really happy with my life as it is and I just don't know why I'm this depressed sometimes   dunno if this post is stupid or not but I thought this place could help me  PS sry for bad grammer",-0.2179,negative,sad
583,MentalHealthSupport,my lifes going good but still depressed,listener_1,2,"Depression doesn’t care whether you’re doing great or not depression is depression and it comes around. Nothing abnormal, it’s just how depression is. It comes and goes for various reason.",0.7092,positive,sad
583,MentalHealthSupport,my lifes going good but still depressed,listener_1,3,"Also depression =/= sad all the time, depression can mean many other things like demotivation or just lack of energy",-0.8481,negative,agreeing
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,speaker,1,"I (f24) honestly just don't see the point in life somedays. It might be cause I feel like giving up, or because i dont know what the future holds and im afraid of making a mistake and losing out on something better than what i have....",0.7003,positive,apprehensive
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,listener_1,2,"It's hard to find the right words to describe how much I can relate to this. I was in a really, really bad way just last week, and had my girlfriend not called me in the right moment, I would have ended things.  But after turning to the people in this group, and reading their kind words, I realized one thing, that I will never let go for the rest of my life. If you want, please allow me to share it with you. If nothing else, you might just be distracted for a few seconds:  My current life does not matter, what I've been through does not matter, and the person I could become does not matter, if I end things prematurely. I truly believe there is greatness in all of us, the potential to touch someone's life. Be it in a relationship, or a few kind words for a stranger, or even an unwritten book still not put into words. If you give yourself the chance, you might just find your life does matter to the people around you, but more importantly to yourself. But if you exit this life prematurely, all your dreams and ideas, all your potential and all the love you share with others will die with you.  I don't know you, OP, but I am absolutely certain you have people in your life right now, for whom you are the greatest person they ever met. I am also certain you have people in your life that make your heart soar with joy.   Focus on those things from time to time, even if they are hard to uncover beneath the daily routine of chasing opportunities and worrying about messing up. I am sure you can do it.",0.9952,positive,trusting
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,speaker,3,"This is so hard. Thank you, for the kind words. Sometimes I feel ending it is the easiest. No more disapointment, feeling lonely when I have a partner, feeling a dropping feeling in my gut for no reason and it makes my day into a whole mess of anxiety.   But I do have people. My mind wants to trick me into thinking they don't care about me, but they do, to a certain extent. I've lost 99% of my friends and my family fucked me up as a kid but now they need me around.",-0.7736,negative,lonely
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,speaker,4,"Thank you, as much as I don't want anyone else feeling this way, I'm glad I'm not alone and I hope we get through this soon. ❤",0.9276,positive,consoling
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,speaker,5,"This!! It makes me so miserable when I'm lazy, when there is things to be done. But if I don't give myself a chance to rest/enjoy myself I'm going to snap. Thank you for letting me know that it's okay to have me time. I think I forget sometimes",0.4635,positive,grateful
584,MentalHealthSupport,Honestly I dont even know anymore..,speaker,6,I am glad you are still here though. You deserve to be!,0.5093,positive,grateful
585,MentalHealthSupport,I’m tired of being sick,speaker,1,"I lost a job I adored after only four months thanks to continually missing work due to illness. Whatever went around I got. I walked/jogged over 5 miles a day every day except one per week. I ate well, lifted weights, I could have been doing a lot more but I worked 5-6 days a week and each shift was a minimum of 8 hours usually 10-12. I was overworked but I loved my job and my patients loved me. I stopped taking my medicine for reasons I don’t understand and things went downhill very quickly. I’m at rock bottom now. I used to work 12 hour shifts like it was nothing and now I get exhausted after a phone call. I sleep ~4 hours a night at most 6 hours with no naps. I’m not hungry and I hate eating, I eat less than 1000 calories a day always and usually significantly less than 1000 calories. I zone out frequently and my doctor fears I’m having seizures. I didn’t have a large savings before this but it’s quickly depleting. I can barely leave the house I don’t know how I’m going to get a job. Part of me wishes I had a terminal illness so I could just give up. I’m really intelligent but I suck at studying so I’ve had horrible grades my whole life. I’m really good at emotions and helping people but people take advantage of that, sometimes not purposefully. I’m a born extrovert but I have acrophobia and leaving my house usually ends badly. It’s like I was supposed to be this successful person but something went horribly wrong and I’m a bag of contradictions.   I have three doctors visits this week and no income. Everything looks bleak and it’s so hard to stay hopeful. Just any advice at all I’d really appreciate.",-0.0994,negative,ashamed
585,MentalHealthSupport,I’m tired of being sick,listener_1,2,"Firstly, I just want to say I'm sorry about the job loss and that you're feeling so awful. It sounds like you're very overwhelmed (emotionally and with life) and just fatigued and burnt. Sounds like you've hit a wall, my friend.   I'm not going to sit here and invalidate your feelings and tell you that things aren't that bad or it could be worse, because fuck that. The reality is, things feel shitty to you right now and you have every right to feel whatever you want to feel. So that's something I really want to get across: You have every right to feel whatever you're feeling.   You do sound a bit lost as well and for that, I'm also sorry. It sucks to be in that frame of mind.   What I can tell you is that whatever is going on right now, it won't always be that way. Things change. That means there's potential for things to get better. It could have the potential to get worse, but let's just focus on trying to make it better because there's no point in going down the negative, destructive, non-productive rabbit hole of ""what-if"" horror show. That won't help anything.  For right now, I would be REALLY kind to yourself and tell yourself that it's okay to feel what you're feeling (scared, sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, lost, depressed...etc) AND that you won't abandon yourself--That you will do your best to be your own best friend through this.   My recommendations beyond what I've already said is to try this free, private, anonymous online workshop: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  It really helped me when I felt depressed and lost. It taught me how to make good choices for myself and be my own best friend (which is what we REALLY crave when we're in a shitty situation).   Other than that, I'm here to talk if you need someone. Feel free to DM me. <3",0.8384,positive,sympathizing
585,MentalHealthSupport,I’m tired of being sick,speaker,3,Thanks a lot friend,0.7269,positive,wishing
585,MentalHealthSupport,I’m tired of being sick,listener_1,4,You’re welcome. ❤️,0.4588,positive,wishing
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",speaker,1,"For years I (17f) have struggled with depression, dark thoughts, low self esteem, severe anxiety, distrust, and a general fear of people (especially men).   I think part of the reason is because my mother is a severe Narcissist and my father is a huge enabler, but I fear that there is something deeper wrong with myself. Idk what to do.  I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I will always have morbid thoughts and violent/gory nightmares every day, but my anxiety is making it difficult to advance and move forward in life as I become an adult. Advice?",-0.9704,negative,afraid
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",listener_1,2,"I feel you big time on this one. My dad has narcissistic personality disorder and my mom was the enabler (they're divorced now).   I suffered from PTSD, OCD, anxiety (general and social), panic attacks, panic disorder, suicidal ideation, and depression (all due to my abusive upbringing). This is how I made it through to the other side: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  It literally saved my life and changed my life. I'm a very happy, content person now and I love myself. I'd never thought I'd get there, but I did.  I'm so sorry you're struggling and have gone through what you have.   Feel free to DM me if you'd like. <3",-0.823,negative,trusting
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",speaker,3,"Thank you very much, I will absolutely look into that :)  I’m glad that you are in a better place now, hopefully some day I can get to that point as well. Thank you again.",0.9493,positive,encouraging
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",listener_1,4,You're welcome. I hope it helps! Feel free to DM me if you need an ear. :) <3,0.9336,positive,encouraging
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",speaker,5,"Much appreciated, I might just take you up on that offer, thank you :)",0.8316,positive,acknowledging
586,MentalHealthSupport,"I fear something is wrong with me, advice?",listener_1,6,You're welcome. :),0.7184,positive,wishing
587,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,speaker,1,"I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so desensitized that I can't cry. I can't get out of bed in the morning. My head feels terrifying. I feel like I'm going insane. And I'm getting the urge to go deeper into the insanity. Like I don't wanna kill myself or hurt anyone, I wanna explore the hell in my head and I don't care if I get hurt. I'm not afraid. How do I start?",-0.9292,negative,terrified
587,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,listener_1,2,You want to explore around in your head and see what's going on in there?  Try this: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  For real. It teaches you how to poke around and be inquisitive with your mind and feelings and then it teaches you what the hell to do with them once you know what's going on.,-0.5574,negative,questioning
587,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,speaker,3,Thank you so much. I was feeling pretty lost,0.5994,positive,sympathizing
587,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,listener_1,4,You're welcome. I hope it helps and you get some answers. <3,0.8176,positive,consoling
588,MentalHealthSupport,I feel out of place,speaker,1,"Ever sense school has started every has felt weird, it’s like a dream, a blur, it feels like I’m supposed to be dead but I lived and now I’m not supposed to be here. Things are happening that I never thought would and all my memories lately have been spastic and all over the place. Can someone help me figure out what’s up",0.5499,positive,apprehensive
588,MentalHealthSupport,I feel out of place,listener_1,2,"When weird things happen to me, I take the time to figure out why it is happening, Looking through all my memories for the answer. And there are times I get to know that what I'm struggling with is just nonsense.",-0.7351,negative,apprehensive
588,MentalHealthSupport,I feel out of place,listener_1,3,"Years ago I used to feel every single day of my life was nonsense, It may sound like depression, But actually I was so stressed... It sounds similar to your situation, DM if you want, We're here with you ⭐",-0.7331,negative,caring
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,speaker,1,"hey reddit this is my first time using this but lately i’ve just been so sad, it’s like it’s almost nothing, it comes in waves and i never really know what to do. nothing ever seems to make me feel better. it’s doubts in my relationship and negative feelings. i tell my bf almsot all of the time but ik it affects him too and sometimes i just don’t wanna tell him. he can really help me though, but it weighs him down too. i feel like my feelings are stupid and don’t matter. advice?",-0.6189,negative,lonely
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_1,2,"They're not stupid and they do matter.  It sounds like you might be dealing with depression so it'd be worth having a chat to your doctor about what's going on.  Most of us are either dealing with this or have dealt with it in the past. It's definitely not stupid, but it *is* treatable.",0.5658,positive,agreeing
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,speaker,3,i don’t want to talk to my doctor and i just want it to be fixed i know i can do it it just feels like all i need is a mind set change,0.4767,positive,hopeful
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_2,4,You have to learn how to change your mindset and you can rewire your brain to think differently and approach life in a different way. See my other comment. :),0.4588,positive,neutral
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_1,5,"If it's depression, a change of mindset won't fix it because it's a chemical imbalance.  It really is a good idea to talk to your doctor. If it's bothering you enough to post, it's bothering you enough to seek help.",-0.4654,negative,apprehensive
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,speaker,6,thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,speaker,7,"i like to think my diet is good, i eat pretty healthy my sleep patterns aren’t the best most times i’ll be up until 1 or 2 and wake up at nine, i exercise 4 to 5 times a week",0.9382,positive,content
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_3,8,Sounds like a decent routine there,0.3612,positive,acknowledging
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_2,9,You're welcome! :),0.7424,positive,wishing
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_2,10,CBT is great! My therapist used that as well and it's really helpful.,0.862,positive,neutral
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_3,11,"I’ve had a few therapists in my life and this is the first time I’ve felt connected, understood the reasons behind things I was doing and developed a genuine interest in my mental wellbeing",0.4588,positive,trusting
589,MentalHealthSupport,sad,listener_2,12,"Exactly. Same. I had a few therapists that I called ""Talk Therapists"" where you go in and vent but you don't really work on anything or are given tools. That was so frustrating to me. Once I found one that did CBT (along with a few other techniques) it was a whole new ball game and I felt like ""THANK GOD! Someone who understands and can actually help me reach my goals!""",0.889,positive,grateful
590,MentalHealthSupport,Dae ever think that the ones there close to are trying to ruin there lives then think about ways to kill them constantly?,speaker,1,"OK so this has been an ongoing problem I am constantly thinking everyone around me is plotting to kill me and all these other things, it's leaving me over stressed and thinking of ways I could hurt manipulate and even kill them. It's becoming a serious problem with myself and everybody I have spoken to about it say nothing is wrong I need to stop over thinking and analysing every little thing going on around me. My mind is constantly bored wandering into random thoughts and I do have drug induces psychosis and other mental health issues, I've tried getting professional help and advice but they turned me away an told me I need a social worker. I'm very confused scared and not sure what to do with all this thoughts.",-0.959,negative,anxious
590,MentalHealthSupport,Dae ever think that the ones there close to are trying to ruin there lives then think about ways to kill them constantly?,listener_1,2,"Do you have proofs that those people want to kill you?– If you do, You could talk with them, Or tell the Police... But don't think about doing the same! You Must do the the Difference.  Someone I know  was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), he used to have Suicidal Thoughts and insinuated he would kill people... he's now in psychiatric treatment and he's better now, I respectfully recommend it to you.",-0.8932,negative,apprehensive
590,MentalHealthSupport,Dae ever think that the ones there close to are trying to ruin there lives then think about ways to kill them constantly?,speaker,3,I am BPD...they don't take me seriously at all no one does because I'm thinking such extra things 😭 I've been trying to get myself put into hospital for help for quite a while but everytime I'm in there with psychosis they let me leave delusional and still very unstable. It's such a big thing to deal with I can't do anything 😭,-0.8651,negative,devastated
590,MentalHealthSupport,Dae ever think that the ones there close to are trying to ruin there lives then think about ways to kill them constantly?,listener_1,4,"If you feel like you can't control yourself, look for more help; Try to have a serious talk with your family or a friend, tell them about what you're going through, ask them about a local psychiatric or a psychiatric hospital. It is always better if someone Is with you while your medical Consultantion, So that person can talk for you if you're not feeling well in that moment. But remember, You have to try your best to control yourself... Get a reason, or as many reasons as you want, to fight.",0.8362,positive,trusting
590,MentalHealthSupport,Dae ever think that the ones there close to are trying to ruin there lives then think about ways to kill them constantly?,listener_1,5,http://medicalrepublic.com.au/referral-rules-everything-need-know/4252,0.0,neutral,prepared
591,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what is happening...,speaker,1,"So every once in a while, about every 5 months or so I would wake up in the middle of the night, but when I do my mind is almost, not with me, so as I walk around my house in a type of crazy confusion, I'm not able to walk or move fast (I can take a step every 5 seconds without it triggering) or really talk, and if I do walk at a somewhat fast speed, my brain sounds as it is making allot of loud industrial noises. I don't really know much else but it gets triggered by a certain dream, the dream is basically VERY chaotic, and the dream has been with me since about 6 years old, I am 16 now. I also have no self awareness, as in well, I live in a family with 6 siblings 7 including me, and I barely go out without a shirt throughout the day, but when THIS happens I walk around in just boxers. I am somewhat aware of when this occurs, so next time I will make an attempt to get my GoPro I got for this only and try to record my self walking around aimlessly. I have told my parents this but they just shrug it off, and I also stutter when trying to explain this in person because it is such a WIERD experience. If anyone could share this with any of thier doctors, or even tell me what this is called here, and show them this post to get a, I don't know, diagnosis on what is happening, I could stay in touch with you and send you the video IF I get it and if I could figure out how to trigger this whenever.  P.S    It ONLY happens when I wake up after sleeping for a few hours, It doesn't happen during the day.  P.S.S If you have any statements or questions regarding this subject, just reply below 🙂.",0.0314,neutral,anxious
591,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what is happening...,listener_1,2,Could you describe the dream?,0.25,positive,questioning
591,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what is happening...,speaker,3,"It looked like a 2d yet not 100% 2d, (like a modern Mario game) and it looked like a wall full of gears. (It's been a few months now so it's foggy) but the way they moved and the sheer size of them seemed to big for my brain to fathum/emphasize. And that's all I know but it was wierd and had a disturbing vibe to it which then I wake up and do what I explained above. If I don't respond it's because I'm asleep",-0.5431,negative,afraid
591,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what is happening...,speaker,4,"No, I just walk around in almost a circle untill I'm ""sane""",0.0,neutral,lonely
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",speaker,1,"This might poorly worded but hope the gist of it comes through:  I’m going through a rather lengthy depressive episode while trying to manage cptsd and codependency issues. I don’t have access to therapy right now but that might change in a few months. I am NoContact with my family, in a new country with no friends and in a codependent relationship (unsupportive partner). So, I have no support system and no resources other than the internet.  This is my dilemma:   I tried to read through helpful literature or listen to books about my conditions and how to process things while preparing for therapy. Couple of hours in and it completely overwhelms me. I feel so triggered and the instability of so much that I stop, almost like self-preserve mechanism kicking in. I know this is because I am avoiding the onslaught of unpleasant sensations.  I try to reason with myself but  I just can’t get myself to resume. Same experience with journaling. I have been procrastinating for quite a while and it’s making me physically ill and I know I need to stop. What can I do to work through this and keep digging deeper through my repressed feelings?  I do really want to navigate through this and am ready to push myself but resolving to do it is not working right now.   I realize the only right answer to this is to work this through with a therapist but given as that is not an option right now, I am open to any selfhelp advice and will be grateful for honest feedback about what I can do in this time to make it better for myself. Thanks for reading.",0.1135,positive,lonely
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",listener_1,2,"I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:  - [/r/cptsd] [Crossposting since nobody responded...just feeling unbearably trapped and need some perspective.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/cmnool/crossposting_since_nobody_respondedjust_feeling/)   *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))*",0.3612,positive,annoyed
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",speaker,3,"This is such a lovely and helpful response, it means a lot to me that you put the effort to share this.   Almost everything on your list is something that I user to do to feel good many years ago. I am almost sure that I will win the terrible singer contest but I too, used to love to sing along. Maybe that’s where I will start with listening to one of my old favorites and sing along. I will dedicate the song to you!:)    I will be saving your reply for motivation for when I am able to push past the crushing fatigue I feel right now. Thank you so much and best wishes to you.",0.9755,positive,grateful
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",speaker,4,"Thanks for replying and sorry you are in this situation too.   I want to say hope we can work our way out of this, however difficult it feels to feel anything resembling hope right now.   So I’ll say let’s just try to hang in there.",0.7351,positive,sympathizing
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",speaker,5,"Thank you for this. I actually tried looking for something structured but didn’t come across this.   Will definitely try. Thanks again, this gives me a tiny bit of hope.",0.9186,positive,grateful
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",listener_2,6,"Thank you for your kind repsonse. You made me cry with joy. I'm really happy I could help you even if it's just a little bit. Please tell me what song you choose, so I can listen to it too. I saved your words too, I will reread them when I feel worthless. I hope singing kicks some of your fatigue in the ass like it does with mine!",0.9372,positive,grateful
592,MentalHealthSupport,"Struggling in the grip of avoidance behaviors, looking for advice or similar experience.",listener_3,7,You're welcome. I hope it offers what you need and works for you. Much love! <3,0.8858,positive,wishing
593,MentalHealthSupport,"Emotionally lonely, emotionally unstable, and crippled by a lack of physical contact.",speaker,1,"18 y/o male recently moved to a new city to attend college, here's a bit of background [https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/9s5cxl/i\_have\_been\_psychologically\_affected\_with\_false/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/9s5cxl/i_have_been_psychologically_affected_with_false/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x)  Anyway after coming here I've made friends but I've been severely afflicted with emotional unstability. One moment I'm happy and then I'm struck with such harrowing bouts of sadness. This has been difficult to cope with and all my sad and bad memories flood in, and I start consuming depressing media. But I do get over it after a while.   Another issue is the lack of physical touch, it drives me crazy, I crave a hug so badly it hurts. I'm also really negatively affected when someone who I considered a friend says something mean.   Don't know what to do, please help.",-0.9775,negative,neutral
593,MentalHealthSupport,"Emotionally lonely, emotionally unstable, and crippled by a lack of physical contact.",listener_1,2,"Hey man, m19 here. I hear you.  I read your story. In middle school and high school I was constantly labeled as gay, or as a fag or whatever because of the way that I dressed. It isolated me from a lot of people and has hindered my social development quite substantially. I struggle in groups. I struggle with new people. I struggle with trust, anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies.  I know what the hole feels like. I know the craving for someone to hold. I know what it feels like to be cast out of the norm. It sucks, it is terrible. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Here is the key.  Do what I am doing now, reaching out to those in need. Sit with people who you see alone. Introduce yourself, make that connection. You may find a friend, and an become important person in their life, with which you can share that emotional stress and support each other.  Find common ground with people. Get involved in something your interested in, and you will find like minded folks.  Give tinder a try. I know it's cheesy and it doesn't have that emotional connection that you seek. But it works. I had a few flings come through it and I found my girlfriend of 7 months on there. We are in love and  doing great! It works!  Most importantly, never give up. Do not sink into that hole. It will devour you, and only make things worse.  You can reach out to me. I know what it's like. Here for you man.",0.8101,positive,lonely
593,MentalHealthSupport,"Emotionally lonely, emotionally unstable, and crippled by a lack of physical contact.",speaker,3,"Thanks for the reply man, really appreciate it. I've been making a good amount of friends lately, and phase out the negative ones. Life for the most part is good, it's just that it's scary how emotionally vunerable I am. I tried to make myself look hard on the outside by joining the gym, getting a buzz cut, but that emotional part of me hasn't died.   Yeah I do try reaching out to people, and I'll give Tinder a go. Thanks for the kind and encouraging words.",0.9703,positive,trusting
593,MentalHealthSupport,"Emotionally lonely, emotionally unstable, and crippled by a lack of physical contact.",listener_1,4,"You don't have to be hard. If you're looking for a girl, no girl worth being with will want a stud. Most girls like emotional men. They are looking for someone they can share their feelings with, and you showing your emotion will make them feel closer and more comfortable around you. Obviously, don't spook them with the scary stuff right away, just be open to emotional intimacy.",0.5953,positive,trusting
593,MentalHealthSupport,"Emotionally lonely, emotionally unstable, and crippled by a lack of physical contact.",speaker,5,Thanks man,0.4404,positive,grateful
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",speaker,1,"I am a 16 years old girl from Romania and i struggle with depression and social anxiety. I currently live with my mother but we used to live together with my grandmother.  TL;DR at the bottom!  I was born mixed race and with syndactyly. I was bullied for my skin color at school, being called a gypsy, monkey, gorilla etc. I was also bullied for my birth defect.  I've been living in Romania with mom and grandmother ever since i was 4. I never had a childhood. I have been enrolled in countless activities like modelling, dancing, countless choirs and taking piano and percussion lessons. It all started from piano lessons being recommended by a doctor to help improve strength and flexibility in my afected hand (the syndactyly severely affected my bone growth in that hand). It was incredibly overwhelming and tiring but they wouldn't listen because ""they are good for me"" and because i'd be ""better than everyone else"" because ""who in this country does as many activities as you"".  My grandmother was incredibly controlling of me and mom, and verbally abusive to me. Especially between 5th and 8th grade. In 8th grade it was the worst, since we have a very important exam then which decides your future (if you get in a good highschool, if you get in the major you want in etc. It's very hard to change highschools or majors after that). I was under incredible stress. Especially from grandmother and then mom who was stressed by grandmother, as in being called all day by her at work by grandmother to complaij about every little thing i did that she didn't aprove on from clothing to homework (which we either didn't have, was going to do after i finished my current task or already done) and starting to argue with mom as soon as she set foot in the house.  Grandmother was and still is the major stress source in our family. She never let me go to school alone, even if it was 5 minutes away, and then complained of being tired. She called me every name possible: gypsy, retarded, useless, worthless, lazy, stupid, that i and mom would have never done anything good withouth her, that we would have ended up on the streets without her etc. I was never allowed to make decisions and my opinion was ignored.   In grade 6 and 7 i was cutting myself, i still have all the scars on my left hand. I would have breakdowns with screaming, crying, throwing things because i couldn't take it anymore. She'd scream at me, pull me by the arms sometimes even bang herself in the head with her palms or fists, pulling her own hair out and threathening to throw herself out the window (we lived on the 8th floor). Saying that i was embarrassing them, that the neighbours will hear etc.   When she was arguing with mom she even caused mom to break down and mom almost threw herself out the window. The neighbours barged in to try and hold her and they called 112 (our version of 911). She was taken into psychiatric hold and i was taken to the er because i was chewing through my lip due to stress and was bleeding a lot. There, grandmother acted like the victim and as if nothing happened.  I had multiple attempts at my life but i always got too scared halfway through: almost letting myself get hit by cars, trying to jump during a breakdown, considering buying sleeping pills etc.   In 9th grade i and mom moved 7km away but i still had to go to grandmother 1-2 hrs before school because of the distance and our timing. I've had breakdowns then too and now i began having panic attacks. While i was shaking on the floor in the bathroom and crying she'd nudge or kick me with her foot yelling to ""cut it out"". She called emergency multiple times telling me it'll take me away and ""lock me up with the insane people"". The doctors were mostly sympathetic and they all told me to leave me and mom alone but she wouldn't listen cuz ""he's some dumb arab"" or ""she's just a woman what does she know"" etc.  Mom started being controlling too, telling me that ""grandma took care of me for 14 years are you gonna just abandon her like that?"" ""We're family"" ""it's just how she is you must accept her"". I begged for months to be taken to a psichiatrist or psychologist but she kept saying that ""they are only after our money"" and ""i can tell you the same things they say for free"". She ignored me when i said i was sick and needed help, that everything is because of that ""damned phone"".  I was never good enough and she'd (and still does) yell at me for every mistake i did because ""it annoys her"". She refuses or is just simply unable to understand that i have severe issues that ruin my life. I can't get up in the morning for hours sometimes, i'm always so void of energy, even though i want to do so much more, to draw, to work out, to do homework but i simply can't. I waste away in bed or on the phone because the friends i talk to there are the only contact i have (she is at work from 8 am to even 9 pm at times). I have no siblings and i'm too tired and simply can't go hang out no matter how much i want to and i see the time rushing by and i'm acomplishing nothing.   She denies every wrong she does and blames everything on the phone, even though it saved my life more times and was more supportive than she ever was. My friends helped me stop cutting, they helped me from doing stupif things and they listened to everything i had to say, meanwhile she'd just get angry or was never ""in the mood"".  I can't feel anything. Nothing at all. I can't feel empathy for anyone, even for friends. If a friend were to drop dead in front of me or should some horrible tragedy happen right in front of me i would feel nothing. I'd know what happened is bad but i would feel nothing for anyone now matter how close they are to me. I am unable to cry no matter how much i want or need too. I can only feel happy for 1-2 hours and then nothing. I have anger issues, i get angry for everything that isn't perfect, even if a pen drops on the floor. I constantly feel lonely because i have little to no physical contact with anyone. I have next to no social skills, i am afraid of talking to people, anxious, and longer social interactions tire me greatly. I grew paranoid at one point believing they are watching me through my toys' eyes, or that certain characters i draw can see me through the eyes. I would and still am turning around toys with bead or plastic eyes because i feel very anxious in my own room. I feel watched through mirrors, especially after i heard that there are mirrors that are seethrough on one side.  I waste away in front of my phone because it's the only comfort i have. I have to constantlt listen to music or youtube videos otherwise i get overloaded with thoughts. Whenever it's quiet i just feel like my mind is filled with questions and answers, questions and answers, ""What if i did that?"" ""What if i did this?"" ""What should i do?"" ""What's this?"" ""What's that?"" ""I could go stand and wait for the train to hit me"" ""What if i died?"" ""Nobody cares about me"" ""I'm so worthless, i can't even do x"" etc. I fall asleep after hours of tossing and turning because i can't shut those thoughts off and it's like a horrible white noise that won't shut up.  I started lying to her about minor mistakes i do because i know she always getd mad, but then she gets mad because i lied. I don't know how to react when people are affectionate or compliment me because i'm so unused to it.   I'm so tired and scared of her getting mad at me that i started pissing in a cup at night or enduring period pains at night so i don't have to leave the room because we have a dog that sleeps with her and starts barking, biting blindly and chasing around its tail when it hears any noise, and my door handle creaks loudly. This wakes her up and starts yelling at me to let her sleep.  I know she is very stressed because of her work (she works almost 12 hours a day), grandma, the romanian system, economy, healthcare etc.   I don't know what to do. Should i leave? Is my best bet leaving for college in the us? (I have us citizenship and dad is there. He is very happy and able to let me stay with him while i'm in college). I was thinking of involving cps at one point but i don't really want that since the cps is pretty bad here and more oftenly they do worse than good. What should i do?  TL;DR: Grandmother emotionally abuses me. Mom does the same short time after and refuses providing mental care. I am now unable to feel anything, angry all the time, i am unable to carry out basic human interactions, be productive etc. What should i do?",-0.9995,negative,afraid
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",listener_1,2,"Obviously I'm not in your shoes so it's very easy for me to say, but if you can get to your Dad in America and he's more likely to be supportive, go.  The situation you're in is incredibly toxic and damaging and the key people are using you as a scapegoat for their issues.  It sounds like there is definitely an underlying mental health issue and this toxic situation is only going to make it worse.  If you can get to your Dad and he supports you, you actually have a chance at a decent life. It doesn't sound like you have that in Romania.  In the meantime, keep using your phone and connecting through it. Do whatever it takes to survive.",0.0945,positive,agreeing
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",speaker,3,"Thank you for the advice.  I have 2 more years till i'll be able to leave, so i suppose my best bet is to try and do my best academically to try and get a scholarship and leave.  I'll try my best to survive. Thank you.",0.9531,positive,wishing
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",speaker,4,"Thank you so much. And hi, fellow romanian!   I have been talking and will continue talking with the school counselor during this school year. Our homeroom teacher is very sweet and caring for us and he luckly convinced mom to give her consent to so i can see the therapist.  And i agree, as i mentioned, grandma is the main source of stress amd abuse in the family, and sadly it rubbed off on mom. Grandmother always thinks she is in the right and thinks everyone else is stupid or senile (she had arguments with my percussion teacher who is an older gentleman who noticed i was crying and always ""way too serious for a child"" when practicing/rehearsing. She always berrates mom because she ""doesn't know how to take care of me"" and that she ""ruined me"" and that ""our house is filthy"" (it's not. It's quite nice actually).   Mom always provided for me, food, clothes, materials, tutoring etc. but she doesn't understand or refuses to understand that she doesn't know how to give me emotional support. I wanted to suggest that she'd go to counseling too but i'm afraid that she'd take it as an insult.",-0.5405,negative,agreeing
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",listener_2,5,"Yeah, she might take it weirdly. Usually people who aleays think they are in the right will never admit there may be something wrong with them. Maybe you could talk to the school therapist if they can subtly suggest to her that she does some introspection? Maybe if she hears it from a third party it means more than coming from you or your mom. I'm happy to hear you are working with them and have someone you can turn to.",0.4035,positive,suggesting
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",listener_1,6,"Keep talking to us over the next couple of years, okay? You matter",0.25,positive,questioning
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",speaker,7,"I'll do that as soon as school starts, thank you for the idea. I hope it'll work somewhat because she doesn't really respect therapists.",0.3877,positive,encouraging
594,MentalHealthSupport,"Family has always been emotionally neglecting and abusing me. What should i do? I am in a very dark place, i am desperate",speaker,8,I will! Thank you so much for the support,0.6696,positive,grateful
595,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with a choice,speaker,1,Hey I don't really know how to start but coming from my dads side of the family continued by my sisters my family has a history of mental illness and since around age 9 (I don't rember most of my childhood this is an estimate me and one of my sister with the same problem think it's because if repressed memories) I've been being hit with feelings much akin to what I've read about what depression is like (mostly for essays in school) and sometimes it's one day and I'm fine sometimes it's weeks at a time some times it will be months at a time and honestly I just want to know if I should seek help because I don't trust myself to make the best/most reasonable disicions (like most people I don't feel comfortable with coming to my parents about it) so please Reddit help me with this thanks and God bless,0.9237,positive,apprehensive
595,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with a choice,speaker,2,Just a little more information in case it helps I know I have a toxic view of myself like I tend to bully myself I'll find something about myself that hurts me to hear people talk about and bully myself on it which is the main reason I can rarely cry because I bullied myself to a point we're I just can't dont know if that's helpful,-0.6305,negative,apprehensive
595,MentalHealthSupport,I need help with a choice,listener_1,3,"I'm glad you've decided to get help! That's the first step to being kind to yourself. You said you bully yourself and deciding to get help is saying ""No. I'm not going to be mean to myself. I'm going to get the care I need and deserve. I'm choosing to be loving to myself."" Great job! The first step is always the hardest. You should feel proud. You did something hard and what a lot of people are unwilling to do. <3   If you ever want a free mental health resource, feel free to check this out as well: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)",0.985,positive,proud
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,1,"I finally took the next step and booked an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow to finally help myself. I've never been good at talking about my emotions, so any advice on how and where to begin when I actually meet the therapist? I am extremely nervous.",-0.273,negative,apprehensive
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,listener_1,2,"It's natural that you would be nervous and that you don't quite know what to expect. But: your therapist probably has done this before. They know the process, they can steer it. They'll know you're not used to talking about emotions, they'll understand it might take a while for you to uncover your truths.   The first hour I had my therapist was silence. An hour of silence. Neither of us talked. And that was quite okay. It changed, of course. And then, lots of conversation happened. But I wasn't ready, and he was okay with that.",0.7487,positive,trusting
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,3,"Your words are very reassuring, thank you for that! :). This is all a part of the process I guess.",0.7239,positive,acknowledging
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,listener_1,4,"You're very welcome. Also: there's not /right/ way to do this, in the sense that this is what has to happen or that is how it went for other people. It has to be true to you, and that's it. Nobody else is entitled to an opinion. If it helps you, then it's going well. And that's that.",0.8977,positive,neutral
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,5,Thanks a lot! I'll keep that in mind :),0.7345,positive,acknowledging
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,6,That makes sense ! :),0.5093,positive,acknowledging
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,listener_2,7,"No problem, I’m happy to help!",0.8381,positive,joyful
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,8,That is a lot of good insight! Thank you so much ! :),0.8499,positive,acknowledging
596,MentalHealthSupport,Need advice with therapy,speaker,9,"Wow, this was an amazing response! So many great points that I'll definitely keep coming back to every now and again. You have me more than I could have hoped for, thank you so very much! You have no idea how it feels to be not alone after reading all the replies I've got.   Best of luck to you as well :)",0.9851,positive,wishing
596,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,1,"So to begin with, i don’t even know if I have a problem or I have a mental health problem at all, so bear that in mind please.   I don’t think I can feel any emotion at all, if not very little. I never feel sad when people or pets etc die, and some genuinely good things have happened to me and I’ve felt nothing. Just absolutely nothing. Does anyone know if there’s anything wrong with me?",-0.6854,negative,apprehensive
596,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,2,Feeling apathy or numbness can be a sign of depression.   Is this something new? Did you used to be able to feel things and now you can't?,-0.782,negative,questioning
596,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,3,"Yes, definitely, but when people make jokes I still laugh at them and they still make me happy. Could I still have depression despite this?",0.8779,positive,agreeing
596,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,4,"Yeah. You could just have a mild form of depression. But I'm no doctor. It's just my educated guess. If you want an actual diagnosis, I'd seek out a therapist or psychiatrist.  If you want to move forward without a diagnosis and just start working on getting better, this may work for you: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org)  It's free, private, anonymous, online, self-paced workshop. <3",0.7684,positive,apprehensive
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,speaker,1,So I have an appointment to assess whether i have a bipolar disorder soon and I was wondering what to expect. I’m currently tapering doses from benzos after having a 3 day episode of psychosis when I went cold turkey which I’m also going to mention. My GP told me NOT to stop taking the benzos but I they we bought on the street and unregulated. I can’t be certain of the dosage inside the pill. All I know is it tests positive for benzos. In my opinion I need a prescription to taper off just in case my street pills are adulterated with anything or an inconsistent dosage.,0.7989,positive,apprehensive
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,listener_1,2,I would agree that a prescription would be the best way to taper because at least that way you know exactly what's in them and how slowly to taper. I've had to taper off Klonopin (a benzo) so I know how important it is to know what's actually in the drug you're taking.,0.8176,positive,agreeing
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,speaker,3,I’m worried If i explain that and ask for a prescription the doctors will just think I’m a junkie looking for free drugs. How would you recommend I go about explaining my concerns without looking like I’m trying to get high. Not that benzos get me high anymore.,0.3591,positive,apprehensive
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,listener_1,4,"You’d really have to research a doctor or psychiatrist that understands benzo withdrawals and is willing to work with you. It might take a few clunkers to find a good one. I think I went through 5 before I found one that would work with me.   And just be honest. Tell them that you want to taper off and you’re aware that sounds like something a junky would say. Hopefully, they’ll believe you. You just have to keep trying until you find the right one.",0.8934,positive,trusting
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,speaker,5,My GP is the best but my mental health assessment is with another doctor who I’ve yet to meet so I’m not sure. I managed opioid withdrawal without any medical assistance but benzo WD is waaay worse,0.4425,positive,apprehensive
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,listener_1,6,"I know it is. It sucks. Talk to your GP and tell them what you’re trying to do and ask if they’d know a doctor or psychiatrist who’d be willing to work with you.  I can tell you how I tapered off, but you’d be tapering off with a street drug version of it. I’m not sure what that would do or if you could have any sort of consistency in how often you get it and/or wtf is in it.   :/  I’d talk to your GP since you have a good relationship with them. Start there.",-0.8245,negative,agreeing
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,speaker,7,I probably get 80-100 “10mg Valium” a week to make myself feel normal. Back in my younger days I used to take double that In binges.  My dealer usually has them in stock but I don’t know if you have experience with British drug dealers but they aren’t always on time. Sometimes I might have to wait a few days to get more but I usually have a back up stash for such occasions. Only once in the past 5 months did he supplier have a 2 week dry spell which is when the psychosis started  Anyway this post wasn’t purely about getting my benzo script.   I’m also afraid of saying too much and getting put in a mental ward against my will.,0.0,neutral,trusting
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,listener_1,8,I COMPLETELY understand that fear. I’m from the US so I don’t know about British dealers. But I can imagine your fear. You need reliability and consistency. Your best bet is your GP.   As long as you’re not presenting yourself in a way that seems like you’re going to harm yourself or others I don’t think they will commit you.,0.0614,positive,agreeing
597,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for a mental health assessment in the UK,speaker,9,To my knowledge a GP is rarely allowed to prescribe benzos here. Benzo scripts are a last resort here. The NHS doesn’t even offer Xanax. It’s mainly Valium and klonopin. Hopefully i see a good psychologist who can and will.  I can be a danger to myself during a depressive episode but I also can present a danger to myself when manic depending on what activities I engage in when I’m feeling that manic high. I have attempted suicide 4 times since 16 years old (24 now) and it’s very possible I could again one day. I don’t have control of it really. But day to day I’d say I am safe,-0.6542,negative,afraid
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,speaker,1,"Okay so my girlfriend has brought up to me that she thinks I may be experience some sort of paranoia disorder and I know I should ask a doctor but I know you guys will understand what doing that is like and understand why I’m asking here rather than doing that    Basically lately I’ve been feeling way too on edge, and the slightest changes in people’s tone to me and the way they talk will set me off and make me think they don’t care about me and that they are doing this because they wanna see me in a bad mood   I’ve always been feeling like people are hiding something from me and that I need to know the answer to everything, like someone (not my gf) will say “I’m going out to meet a friend” and I’ll ask who they are meeting, why they are going, what they are doing and if they say it doesn’t matter or something, I get really on edge and feel like I really need to know what they are doing and why they are doing it, and when they can’t explain it well enough, I think they are just trying to hurt me and that they do have an explanation    I hope this makes sense, but do you think these are symptoms of paranoia???  I smoke a lot of cannabis and I know that’s does contribute to paranoia a lot",0.8247,positive,apprehensive
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,listener_1,2,"i’m not sure this is a disorder as much as it might be some insecurity you’ve felt within yourself, being insecure can cause you to think everyone has ulterior motives and that you’re being deceived. of course no one on this site can diagnose you, as most of us aren’t doctors (and i’m not sure a doctor could tell just from this post) so i’d encourage you to talk to a professional if you can, good luck ♥️",-0.1644,negative,neutral
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,listener_2,3,"Agree. It doesn't sound like paranoia to me either, but rather low-self esteem and insecurity.",-0.4828,negative,agreeing
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,speaker,4,"No explanation, just feel like they are hiding something",-0.2263,negative,annoyed
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,listener_3,5,Ok but for argument sake let’s say they are. What would be the problem with that. For example: someone is acting a little odd and they go to the bathroom a few times in a short period of time and they don’t explain why. They are obviously hiding something but that doesn’t mean it’s about you. If the person wants to go to pick their nose they don’t have to report it to you. Do see what I’m saying?,-0.8888,negative,suggesting
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,speaker,6,"Yeah I understand that, my brain just jumps to everyone being out to get me and that they are hiding things for malicious reasons",0.0,neutral,agreeing
598,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia symptoms?,listener_3,7,"I think is important to point out that having those thoughts might not necessarily be the problem. The problem is what you do with them once they arise.  When you have intrusive thoughts like that you can try to break them down. For example: 1- is my thought that my friend is hiding something coming from facts or assumptions? 2- has this friend lied to me before? 3- did the lie have serious implications in my life? And so on. This way you can keep your thoughts in check. Once you realize that your thoughts are being dramatic you can dismiss them. What I tell myself is the following.  Me to my mind: I’m not going to listen to you right now, you do not have my best interests at heart . And I stop listening, the thoughts keep trying to have a say and I keep dismissing them. With time it gets easier and easier. Right now I don’t have to say it like that anymore. I just say NO and the intrusive thoughts stop. By the way this is all in my head, I don’t say it out loud. :)",0.8355,positive,questioning
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,speaker,1,"//TW: mention of eating disorder, suicidal thoughts//  Hey. I haven’t ever posted on Reddit, so this is a first. I don’t even know where to start.  I (21M) have had issues with my mental health as far back as I can remember. My OCD surfaced very early on (age 3), and my first big depressive episode happened at age 11. At 14, insecure and self-conscious as I was, I tried to kill myself by starving myself to death (I specifically remember wanting to waste away until my heart simply stopped). I nearly succeeded, but with the help of my best friend at the time, I got help and began taking medication. My body image has been distorted ever since, and I can’t tell what I look like when I see myself in the mirror. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s the best I can do in describing it.  I have PTSD from certain traumatic events that took place in high school, so depersonalization and derealization are familiar to me. I see a therapist on the reg (an amazing guy), and I’m still on medication. Both of these things have helped. However...I don’t know. I cycle through feeling positive about myself anywhere from half an hour to a couple of weeks, and then I’m back here: hating myself, wanting to cry, thinking about how big a relief it would be to just die.  One day, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. The next, I’m disappointed in all I can’t seem to do. I want to write, but given five hours to do so, what do I have to show? Less than half a page.  My passion for reading has been much the same as my writing. I love college, but I soon won’t be able to afford it without finding another job, and I just don’t know how well I’ll be able to handle both at the same time (I’m autistic and I have a very low tolerance for dealing with multiple sources of stress simultaneously. I just...shut down). I love working out, but the antidepressants that keep me functioning have also made me gain weight, and so I feel awful about myself. My past ED thoughts rear their ugly little heads. It’s hard for me to even leave my house...or my bed, somedays (like today). I feel like a useless waste of space.  I have good things in my life. I’ve been with the same man for almost four years, and I love him dearly. I want to marry this man and build a life together. My sister is my best friend, and I’m close with my parents. I have a cute dog who loves and depends on me. I enjoy school. I can’t leave these things behind. It’s just not an option, no matter how often I wish it could be.  I’m stuck in a loop of thinking I might be okay, then silently craving death the moment I feel like I’m not.  Sorry to unload here. I’m just exhausted today. Some days, I just feel like my brain is irreparably broken. I guess I’ll wait and see if tomorrow is any different.",0.9958,positive,ashamed
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,listener_1,2,"I used to go through the same loop with feeling okay and my therapy working and then feeling awful and like it hadn’t made any difference.   If you feel you’re stuck in a loop you might want to try this. It’s a different therapeutic modality: www.innerpathways.org  It changed everything for me. I’ve been doing the modality taught in this workshop for over 5 years now and I no longer go up and down nor am I stuck in that loop.   It’s free, private, online, self-paced, and anonymous. <3",0.5484,positive,sad
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,speaker,3,Thank you very much for the reply and the suggestion; I’ll definitely check it out! Much appreciated. :),0.8955,positive,acknowledging
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,speaker,4,"Thank you. :) It’s helpful to know that I’m not alone in this, and that there are others who experience similar things. I appreciate the vote of confidence as well, and I’ll definitely check out what inner pathways has to offer.",0.9574,positive,grateful
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,listener_1,5,You’re very welcome. 💗😊,0.9407,positive,wishing
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,listener_2,6,No problem dude!,0.3716,positive,acknowledging
599,MentalHealthSupport,Bad brain day.,speaker,7,"Thank you for the encouragement; it really is appreciated. I don’t always feel like everything will be okay, but today is shaping up to be a lot better than yesterday. I have never tried sensory deprivation tanks before, but I would definitely love to! They have always piqued my interest. I’m glad to hear they’ve worked for you in such a profound way. :) Perhaps I’ll get the chance to try them myself sometime.  Again, thank you. It’s nice to be reminded that I’m not alone. :)",0.9923,positive,grateful
600,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with never being happy?,speaker,1,"I feel like a big fat failure all of the time. I'm constantly trapped by my mental illness. When I look at my life logically, there's nothing really bad at all. I'm just debilitated by my various diagnoses, even when things are good.",-0.2342,negative,ashamed
600,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with never being happy?,listener_1,2,"I can't tell you how I cope with never being happy because I've worked really hard to become content. If you want tools on how to love yourself, let me know. I can help you with that. xo",0.5437,positive,proud
600,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with never being happy?,listener_2,3,Username checks out. Have an upvote for being....well marvelous obviously,0.5994,positive,impressed
600,MentalHealthSupport,How do you cope with never being happy?,listener_1,4,Thank you! 😊💗,0.9286,positive,wishing
601,MentalHealthSupport,Hello reddit I'm going to tell you a sad story (bad grammar incomming),speaker,1,"Hi my name is Trevor and I'm bringing awareness to people who suffer from loved ones or friends over suicide. I'm going to keep family's hidden and the person's name as well, so here we go I'll start form my child hood. I was 6 or 7 and I was in the 3rd grade when I met him, he was an awesome person and really fun to play with during that time and we became friends but we had a falling out in the 4th grade for 5 to 6 years I think? And now its 9th grade and now I meet another kid who was in my U.S history class who introduced me to my now new family of friends. I bought an xbox to play with them and we did... alot and so during my sophomore year of high school I ran back into my friend form the 3rd grade and we catch up and my new friends take him into our group called ""the nerd herd"" so we play xbox with each other for months even years every single day. But my 3rd grade friend who was 16 at the time was dipping tobacco but none of my friends understood why but I did it was his way of copping with his depression. He was a sad kid but he never showed that side of him so my friends not really understanding him bashed him for it and wanted him to stop because it is unhealthy for him but one day he snapped and told us why he was doing it. I was concerned for him so I talk to him and I promised him that I'd never turn my back on him because I understood were he was comming from and that day he told me "" I'll always have your back your my brother "" and after that I was happy so eventually my friends let him dip in peace since it was his way of copping but what we didn't know was his depression was getting worse but he never told anyone how he felt. So the day comes my and my friends were playing xbox and our other friend joins our xbox party and tells us something that gave us all a reality check forever. He told us my 3rd grade friend shot him self and committed suicide. Everyone didn't believe him at first but he was dead serious and started to cry we all realized and started to cry and scream at everything in the world. But I was crying but couldn't move or really make a sound. Life gave me a lesson on taking my life as not a joke and others as well. So on that day I promised my deceased 3rd grade friend that we will all help others and each other no matter the situation. So I will end you on a happy note we did a anti suicide walk in a park to raise money for him and other victims, we also on his 1 year anniversary we spreaded some of his ashes on a tree in park next to a picnic table where we all use to hangout after school. But in conclusion I want to bring awareness to people who are suffering like my friend and help you or them to know it will get better and people care about them or you or at least I care.. alot.. thank you for reading my story.                                                                        -Trev",0.9902,positive,sentimental
601,MentalHealthSupport,Hello reddit I'm going to tell you a sad story (bad grammar incomming),listener_1,2,"I'm sorry for your loss, but thank you for letting others know they're not alone and to reach out for help. <3",0.8053,positive,sympathizing
601,MentalHealthSupport,Hello reddit I'm going to tell you a sad story (bad grammar incomming),speaker,3,"Appreciated, much love <3",0.8176,positive,acknowledging
602,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about parents,speaker,1,"Both sides of my family have patterns of Alzheimers/dementia. Both of my grandmother's had it and my aunt (who started getting it around 60 years old) suffers from it.  I watched both my parents grieve the loss of their mothers even when they were still technically alive. I saw my dad cry and get pissed off because his mom stopped eating towards the end. She passed away in her early 70s.  I watched my mom use all her vacation days and FMLA time at work to move in with her mother for six months until it became too much. I watched her get mad over the fact that the nursing home her mother stayed at just gave her a bunch of random pills that made her symptoms 10x worse.  I watched my parents grieve the loss of their mothers twice.  I often have anxiety of when I'll have to go through that. I'm 26 years old. My parents just hit their 60s. I know the day is coming, and I'm already seeing my mom start to slip away. I'm terrified. I'm too young to have to figure all this stuff out. Where do I even begin? How will I ever be able to balance my own personal life such as finishing college, getting married, having kids, etc ?  I'm so scared.",-0.9868,negative,angry
602,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about parents,listener_1,2,"It takes a lot to take care of someone as they are going through Alzheimer's or dementia.  I used to work at a nursing home in the kitchen and would interact with the residents when going around to see what they want, delivering their requests, or just going around collecting plates/cleaning/etc in the various dining rooms.  Families put their loved ones into longer term care facilities due to the stress, anxiety, and pressure involved in taking care of them and seeing the path they go down.  ​  Build yourself a support net for yourself, find friends and family that understand and will be supportive to you.  Whether its just listening to you vent or otherwise, its extremely important to take care of yourself before you try to take care of someone else.  It does no good for you or them to burn yourself out or break down, which is why its important to understand that your main focus should be your own mental care so you can help yourself, and them, the best you can.  ​  I would suggest talking to them too about what their wishes are.  If they are wanting to, willing to, go to a long term care facility or nursing home then look into the various facilities around you with them.  Put in the time and effort to look before it gets to the point you are in a rush to find one so you can find one that meets your requirements.  See how happy the residents are there, check reviews, look into what kind of care they provide so you don't wind up with a nursing home that has too many things going wrong.  ​  Some places are mismanaged, wasting funds inappropriately, some burn out their employees frequently (if you see one boasting that they have the high rate of new hires, that is a bad sign as it means people constantly are quitting requiring them to constantly hire and train new people that will just burn out soon), etc.  You have time right now to look, and you need to understand some have waiting lists that might take months to get an opening.  Make a list based on what places you visited that you and your parents feel are best to worst, ones they absolutely don't want to go to and ones you absolutely don't want to see them at.  Check up on them and the facility, again, the other residents happiness with the place is a good indicator of the facility.  ​  If you want to try to care for them yourself as your mom has done, you NEED to be well equipped with the mental tools required to handle it.  See a professional therapist who will be able to teach you the skills and tools to help you through it beforehand, it'll ease your anxiety knowing what to expect and having at least a starting point or idea of how to handle situations.  ​  Its okay to feel scared, its okay to feel the way you do.  No one has all the answers, but if you sit down and breath for a bit and start breaking the task at hand into smaller pieces it'll become at least a little bit easier to look at what you need to do and where you can start.",0.9849,positive,caring
602,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety about parents,speaker,3,Thank you so much for this comment. It really helped a lot.,0.3612,positive,sympathizing
603,MentalHealthSupport,I’m suicidal right now.. please help,speaker,1,"I’m struggling with bad anxiety and depression, and right now I have a shard of glass in my hand. I don’t want to die, but this big, black hole is eating me up and death might be the only answer..",-0.9081,negative,terrified
603,MentalHealthSupport,I’m suicidal right now.. please help,listener_1,2,"Put the shard down. It's an overwhelming but *passing* despair.  I'm here, talk to me",-0.4497,negative,lonely
603,MentalHealthSupport,I’m suicidal right now.. please help,speaker,3,I can’t.. that’s the problem,-0.4019,negative,annoyed
603,MentalHealthSupport,I’m suicidal right now.. please help,listener_1,4,"I get that, I really do, I've been there. But the anxiety will also pass.  You just need to ride it out for a little while. It's like a wave, it crashes down but they it gets weaker",-0.467,negative,agreeing
603,MentalHealthSupport,I’m suicidal right now.. please help,speaker,5,"But some waves will be going low and slow, then spike up with tremendous energy",0.1128,positive,neutral
604,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal and self medicating with alcohol,speaker,1,"What is the difference between being depressive, and suffering from the sorrow of losing a loved one?  I suffer from depression and want to kill myself reguraly, but have never lost a loved one or anything like that. I often wonder what it is like, and what are the differences/ similarities between my conditinon and being mentally healthy but have lost someone.",-0.6571,negative,questioning
604,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal and self medicating with alcohol,listener_1,2,I never had depression but i lost my girlfriend and my grandmother in a week. I think the biggest difference is that i still have motivation and discipline to go on with my live. I know a friend who has depression and he has no motivation and discipline. I think the thing that connects the two is the sadness that comes with it. Try to stay away from alcohol. That shit aint gonna work. Try too seek help in discipline and someone to talk to (you can always dm me.). I think depression is way harder to get out,-0.9247,negative,grateful
604,MentalHealthSupport,Suicidal and self medicating with alcohol,listener_2,3,"**Grief**  Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to that loss.  Grief is a natural response to loss.  ***  ^[ [^PM](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=kittens_from_space) ^| [^Exclude ^me](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiTextBot&message=Excludeme&subject=Excludeme) ^| [^Exclude ^from ^subreddit](https://np.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthSupport/about/banned) ^| [^FAQ ^/ ^Information](https://np.reddit.com/r/WikiTextBot/wiki/index) ^| [^Source](https://github.com/kittenswolf/WikiTextBot)   ^] ^Downvote ^to ^remove ^| ^v0.28",-0.9703,negative,sad
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,1,"Everyone who knows me knows that I'm generally an annoying person to be around with. I get these impulses like slapping, punching, pinching, poking, moving the table when someone is working, and other annoying things, and without any second thought, I do them. I really don't want to do these and most of the time, I regret doing these things or feel sorry for the person I've annoyed. I just want to know why I'm like this if anybody has any idea.",-0.7431,negative,ashamed
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,listener_1,2,I guess you only need to Mature,0.4215,positive,suggesting
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,3,"I would love to know how. Also, I'm 19 and I'm already SUPPOSED to be mature by now. Apparently, I'm not so do you have any tips?",0.7906,positive,questioning
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,listener_1,4,"OK, according to what I read, You describe yourself as immature/annoying with your classmates/friends, So I guess you could be like that with everyone. Have you ever imagined how it would be like to coexist with a person just like you? (I'm sorry if it sounds rude, don't misunderstand me), It's okay to joke... But you have to know how to Difference when it's appropriate to do it, and when it's not. Think how it would be like when you're finishing a project and someone comes and easily destroys it. When you're having a bad day, a very stressful morning at school... And someone starts punching you.",-0.7568,negative,acknowledging
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,5,Thank you. I'll try to get a psych eval sometime soon.,0.3612,positive,wishing
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,listener_2,6,I wish you good luck! Don’t be so hard on yourself  you’ll figure it out. Plus most 19 year olds are immature,0.7921,positive,wishing
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,7,It's not to that extent. I don't destroy people's projects nor hit them when they're already down. But yeah I get what you mean.,0.5754,positive,agreeing
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,8,Thanks you,0.4404,positive,wishing
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,speaker,9,Yeah I have. I just get bored with it after a few minutes.,0.0258,neutral,agreeing
605,MentalHealthSupport,I'm that annoying kid in class and I have a question.,listener_3,10,Have you tried massaging a piece of Blu-tac instead?,0.0,neutral,questioning
606,MentalHealthSupport,Need advices and info,speaker,1,"Hello First of all, I'm sorry I'm not a native English speaker/writer and I'm on mobile. I might make mistakes... I'll try my best.  My problem is I don't know if I need help, or if I exaggerate about my situation.  I'll try to keep it short: I have intrusive thoughts about suicide, or other events in my life. Only in daytime. I rarely even got nightmares about my fears and this events I just written down here. I have anxiety attacks. My definition of anxiety is when I'm deeply afraid of the future, what I'm doing, what people thinks about me, or how I am worthless. When I have this sort of attacks, everything around me is dark, I have no sense about my environment until someone talk to me. Rarely, but it happen, I scream. And everytime, I loudly cry. I have some sort of episode, like paranoia about my surroundings. More like everyone is fake because of my status at work (I am a pioneer). Everything is an illusion. Nobody likes me. I am alone. And then I feel anxiety. It ruins my day. I had this episode several hours ago. My mind is cloudy. I feel like I'm slow in my movements. I'm sleepy. At the first minutes after my thoughts (I did cry in the toilet to hide myself) I was feeling I will fall. I feel loneliness. But I'm happy with the friends I have. And I have the chance to have a loving husband. My family was/is emotionally abusive but they don't know. I'm afraid they will never know. I feel I can't face them. Everytime I tried to talk they react really negativity or they don't care. My sis don't care. My mother threatened her own life because I said something.  Am I a bother? Should I seek out help and why? Or am I just weak and can't go on with my emotions?  I feel lost. I don't know what to do, what to think.  Thank you for reading this. Have a great day.",-0.9826,negative,embarrassed
607,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to get back on meds....,speaker,1,"But I'm afraid I might have to....  I had been doing very well for a long time! I know there's bad days, but this is just..... out of hand?   I've been completely void of positive emotion recently. I can't find joy in anything, I don't want to eat, I sleep most of the day & stay up all night - sometimes I don't sleep at all! I want to go out & do things but I just don't.   I know I'll get people saying that it's just a bad day or week, but I'm telling you this is..... different.....  I'm not sure how to explain it.... I feel SUPER stressed out constantly when in reality I don't have anything to be stressed about to this extent.   These mood swings have been causing problems with my relationships between my roommates, my boyfriend, & myself....   I just want to know what's happening?! Where did this come from?! Everything was fine?!?!?!?  I'm so frustrated with myself....   I don't know how else to explain these feelings....  I just needed to think someone was listening & trying understand, not just listening because they have to...",-0.9015,negative,sad
607,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to get back on meds....,listener_1,2,"𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  Problems create problems, dont they? I strongly recommend seeing a medical doctor to address these concerns. Medication is a choice, not required, as you can stop at any point in time. However, I strongly recommend seeking medical assistance moving forward.  𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧",-0.0552,negative,apprehensive
607,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to get back on meds....,speaker,3,I definitely plan on going to see a doctor. I have an appointment set up but it's not for another week.,0.2144,positive,agreeing
607,MentalHealthSupport,I don't want to get back on meds....,listener_1,4,𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  I highly recommend creating boundaries within the effected members within your life path to prevent further conflict and damage based on previous agreements.  𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧,0.2433,positive,faithful
608,MentalHealthSupport,It's okay to not be okay.,speaker,1,"Hi all, my name is Raashi and I am a mental health advocate from India. I lost my little brother to suicide on 6th January this year and it hasn't been easy. What's worse is that I didn't even get to say goodbye and I still don't know what happened. I have now dedicated all my time and energy towards this cause. I have launched a petition asking the government of my country to launch a national helpline number for suicide prevention. There is so much stigma still. I aim to start a conversation and want our government to address this issue on a national platform so that people know that they are not alone. I'm here. I'm fighting for us.   And to all of you, you're not crazy, you're not weird, you're not weak and YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sometimes, it's okay to not be okay.",-0.6834,negative,faithful
608,MentalHealthSupport,It's okay to not be okay.,listener_1,2,"Sorry about your little brother. I have a little brother who has depressive episodes and has anxiety issues and I worry constantly about him, but I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you and your family are feeling.  I think it’s awesome that you’ve started a petition and that you’ve reached out to this reddit to make sure everyone knows it’s ok to reach out and ask for help. If you don’t mind me asking, where can I sign this petition? I’m in the U.S. but I would love to help out anyway I can!",0.9656,positive,sympathizing
608,MentalHealthSupport,It's okay to not be okay.,speaker,3,Hey! Thank you so much.  http://change.org/standagainstsuicide  Here's the link to my petition. :),0.6996,positive,wishing
608,MentalHealthSupport,It's okay to not be okay.,speaker,4,Always here for you! You're an inspiration :'),0.7901,positive,grateful
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,speaker,1,"Hi Reddit, I'm currently having a life crisis and need somewhere to share my story. This post is difficult for me to type out, but I need to get this written down and can really use some advice/support. Please note that I have an appt to see a therapist on the 27th of this month but I'm really struggling as I have never shared this story to ANYONE and even thinking about sharing it with a Therapist is doing some major damage to my mental health.   So here it goes. Note - I am a 29yo male and my dad is still with my mom to this day.   When I was young 5-6ish my dad molested me on 3 occasions. The first two times he entered my room in the middle of the night and touched me inappropriately. At the time I wasn't aware that this is not normal and just thought ""he was examining me for something"" (like a doctor). Both times I woke up to him touching me and turned over and told him ""stop it I'm trying to sleep"" and he left the room. The final time is where I knew something was wrong. I was sleeping on the couch and woke up to him touching me again. I did the same thing as the last two times but this time he proceeded to put his hands on my butt and then stuck his head under the covers moving towards my groin. I instantly pushed back and was in the corner of the room terrified and confused. I watched him go into the laundry room next door and took this opportunity to run up and tell my mom. I proceeded to wake my mom up and explained to her what happened. She went to the basement with me to look for him and he was nowhere to be found. We then went to the garage and he was sitting at his workbench in only his underwear smoking a cigarette. This is where I lose memory of what happened, but my mom asked my dad some questions that I cannot recall. After that I remember that he was no longer in the house.  Everything I have written above I have come to a term with and understand that none of that was my fault and I honestly don't hold any resentment or anger about it.  This next part is what really haunts me, and I still don't know how to deal with it.  After I didn't see my dad for a while, I remember making some kind of statement to my mom along these lines ""Where is dad, why isn't he home? or ""When is dad going to be coming back home?' and I still don't remember what she told me. All I remember is that shortly after that he was back home, and no one said anything.  Still to this day I'm conflicted on how I should feel about this. Now that I know exactly what he did to me and the fact that my mom let him back in. I'm angry at myself for asking him to come back. But I'm even more upset with and conflicted on how I should feel towards my mom. I have trouble sleeping because the events just continue to replay in my head on repeat and the only thing that drowns the thought is alcohol or weed in copious amounts. I love my mom but every time I think about this I always question if I should love her and that's what hurts me the most. I have other issues because of this but don't want to go into detail to much but I'm not doing okay.  I've thought about asking my mom about this event but am afraid I will do some serious damage to her, my sister and myself.   My question - Should I ask her about the event or should I just keep this to myself and smile like everything is okay. Even though it's not.  Hope you all the very best and sorry for the long post.",-0.9907,negative,trusting
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,listener_1,2,"As someone who has experienced a very similar thing, I haven't confronted my aunt (was my guardian at the time of everything happening). I just have the mentality that I am where I am today, I've made it through (although very damaged) and I don't want to cause any trauma to anyone else. My aunt blames herself a lot and I've come to the conclusion that although I hurt, she doesn't deserve my judgement.",-0.8939,negative,faithful
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,listener_1,3,"And also, have a think about if you really need that clarity. Is it going to help you with your recovery? Is it going to help with acceptance?",0.8939,positive,questioning
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,speaker,4,You summed up how I feel and the conflicts that come with it. Clarity would be nice but I don't know if it would help. Why is this so hard... I wish you the best and thank you for the kind reply. I hope you and I can both get through this.,0.9791,positive,wishing
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,listener_1,5,"Little backstory about my personal experience. My nan was the first to suspect my uncle, even found a hidden camera and everyone thought she was nuts. My sister then went into my uncles room and sat on his bed and saw a video stream on the tv of herself sitting on the bed in real time. She then didnt tell anyone and went on a holiday for over a year. My brother in that year found recordings in a DVD disc and didn't tell anyone until my sister was back. During that whole time, I was living with my uncle and too scared to tell anyone anything.   We are hardwired to want answers so that we can make it logical in our head. We, as humans, try to understand things especially when its trauma related.   If you want to put a logical spin on your question and give yourself an answer, it's probably because your mum loved the man and didn't want you to grow up without a father figure nor did she want you to be damaged further.   My aunt isnt a bad person because she ignored my nans warnings. She loved my uncle and to even consider him what he was, was too painful for her to bare until she had irrefutable evidence   That's the other thing about humans - we try to minimise pain and suffering and often don't see that by trying to avoid it, we are causing more.",-0.9162,negative,impressed
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,speaker,6,"I want start off by telling you that your reply yesterday helped me quite a bit and thank you for sharing your story some more with me, I know how hard it is to write something like this out. I kept putting myself first and never stopped to think about what she was dealing with. And if I did it was ""if it was me"" mentality. But the problem I ran into with that was I'm already tainted so my view is very extreme on what I would have done. After what you said I thought about it logically and came to a small conclusion which was this. If he was gone she would have been a single mom trying to raise 2 kids along with the stress/pain of having to carry that burden around. She made a decision out of love and not blind ignorance. And I have to say that my life could have been a lot worse. I still have a long way to go to feel better but your comments have helped. Thank you so much and wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts helping me even now.",0.9244,positive,agreeing
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,listener_1,7,You're on the road to recovering and that's the most important thing. You're doing extremely well and deserve to take a little self compassion time and appreciate where you are now to where you were. DM me if you ever need anything :),0.8981,positive,grateful
609,MentalHealthSupport,Need some help,speaker,8,I know this is a throwaway account but I'm going to keep it and return the sentiment. I don't know how I can help but if you want to DM me as well I'm here to listen.,0.7684,positive,caring
609,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,1,"I'm horribly paranoid and I feel as if I'm constantly being watched, this has gotten to the point I refuse to walk around my house without my a weapon. I have auditory hallucinations and have had the police come over because of a loud noise. I'm scared to the point that I sweep my house when I come in. I feel fine but I don't know. I need answers even if it's as small as a ""same"" would make me feel better",0.1139,positive,afraid
609,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,2,"Could you make a list of places to check. And every time you feel paranoid, you go through the list and check all of the spots? So when you see nothing is there you can confirm you checked all the spots and everything is okay?  Or maybe, writing notes around your place saying ‘you’re okay’ ‘you’re hallucinating, everything is okay, no one is here’.   Do you have any comfort items outside of your weapon?",-0.163,negative,questioning
609,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,3,My phone,0.0,neutral,embarrassed
610,MentalHealthSupport,My deepest self is a disgusting excuse for a human being,speaker,1,"So I've been learning to let go of a lot of my old self. My sexuality, gender identity, even my hobbies and passions are changing. I understand I need to let go and become who I'm meant to be, but I feel like all that I really am is some berserker. Someone who only likes to cause harm and do horrible things. Sometimes I even think I'm possessed by a demon and if I let go the demon will have free reign over me.   I dont even know why I'm writing this. I just need to vent. I'm sick of being silent. I need to speak. I'm not killing myself or anything, but I just dont know what to do. How do I express these horrible feelings? How do I get it out of my head that these feelings are manifested as split personality disorder or posession?",-0.7458,negative,sad
610,MentalHealthSupport,My deepest self is a disgusting excuse for a human being,listener_1,2,"You are beating yourself up and I don't know why.  You seem very attached to the need for self condemnation.  You are changing, but you still keep your old self around so you can keep beating it up, but this only makes you feel bad and stifles your progress.  You always move from where you are.  Forgive yourself for who you were and who you currently are, then spend today being a little bit better person than you were yesterday.  Do this day after day, and over time you will transform.  It will be worth the time and effort.  Continuing to devote hours to self condemnation will not.",-0.627,negative,ashamed
610,MentalHealthSupport,My deepest self is a disgusting excuse for a human being,speaker,3,But that's the thing. I feel all I truly am is some animal. Someone horrible. How can I embrace and love something that is objectively bad?,0.4767,positive,disgusted
610,MentalHealthSupport,My deepest self is a disgusting excuse for a human being,speaker,4,?,0.0,neutral,questioning
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,speaker,1,"Does anyone else ever get this? Sometimes I will see something and naturally, get a thought out of it. However the thought is limited to my memories from a different time in my life. For example, I’m now vegan. I was in the passenger seat with my current boyfriend and we passed by a Mexican supermarket. For some reason I got the sudden thought of “oh my god I need to go buy stuff for tamales in Spanish for my Spanish class!!” When I graduated high school over a year ago and it was my Spanish class From FRESHMAN year I was thinking of. This is just an example but sometimes I forget where I am or who I am or how old I am but only for a SPLIT second. I’m 19. I’m happy in life, And ive had this quite a few times where I see something that almost ‘triggers’ me to have a limited memory thought. Someone pls tell me I’m not crazy and you get this too",0.7217,positive,nostalgic
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,listener_1,2,"I (f24) 100% get this as well. I would say sometimes it lasts up to 5 seconds. After that i feel a little fuzzy in my body & mind, and then go about my day. I don't know when it started but I would assume it is a disassociation anyways. You know when you stand up to fast and things get a little blurry/dizzy? That's how i feel after it happened.",0.1406,positive,anxious
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,speaker,3,"Yeah me too, I definitely disassociate. The other night I was with my boyfriend at a new dispensary I’ve never been to, 30 minutes from home, after a long day. We were in line, since I was new it was gonna take longer. Fine. He goes in without me to look at the menu and after that I don’t remember much. And what I do remember it’s like I was watching from afar. I remember standing in line and seeing just myself in this crowd of people and totally freaking out inside. When I get to the counter, my boyfriend already ordered but was next to me. I just remember wanting him to leave and stop talking and asking what I want or what he got- I didn’t want to hear anything at that point I just wanted to BREATHE.  After me kinda being a bitch and snapping to hide my freak out, we finally go outside and to the car and on the entire way home I’m sobbing so hard and so loud and my vision is literally going black at times. This is when u realize I’ve been disassociating. I get these black flashes, similar to what happened in the dispensary except I didn’t realize it in the dispensary because I was trying to hide it. Eventually I come to and can start reading street signs again and understanding words. And I just apologize. There were so many car accidents that night also;6. one happened right in front of us. Anyways I don’t know what’s wrong with me because I haven’t seen a therapist or whatever and don’t really wanna label myself.. but at the same time I need help with whatever this is and don’t need to let a label define me. Any ideas ?",-0.9604,negative,trusting
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,listener_1,4,"Honestly, it's fucking scary. I can't imagine being in the store. I'm glad you pulled through. Does your bf know about them?   Im gunna say I've been getting them for a number of years now, and when it happens I try to pinpoint hours before it happens. Example, a more anxiety day to start with, I usually got one that day, or next couple of days, or if i was super stressed/depressed/ or just overly emotional it tended to happen more. Other than that I don't know why this happens to us, but I'm glad I have someone who understands how it feels",0.7996,positive,afraid
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,listener_1,5,"Ok, well first thing, is, it is reallly helpful that he knows, because if you do it publicly and need time to recover after, maybe he can see the signs and get you out of there, to control the after anxiety. I have anxiety as well, over literally nothing I feel my throat wanting to close up. So strange.   And the thing is as much as I want to know and go see the doctor/therapist, I just can't bring myself to do it. No idea why I just go through it, reflect, and get on with my day.   I'm also not for (myself) taking medication as seeing how it affected my family & shit, I just can't do it",-0.5949,negative,apprehensive
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,speaker,6,"I do get anxiety where my throat closes, but I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t talk correctly, I stutter, talk at weird volumes or just talk awkwardly. I choke on my breath and just kinda look like a tweaked  I have both parents as post drug addicts so I’m scared to medicate too as I allowed myself to be crazy in high school.  I’m still working on coping mechanisms for my anxiety however I feel like it also makes it worse in the sense where “more comes flooding out the gates” aka disassociation related repressed memories come out (which is healthy) but like it’s a never ending cycle of healing when you have DID or whatever It is :/",-0.9603,negative,anxious
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,listener_1,7,"Oh I'm sorry to hear about the parents. Mine were as well, It's hard & maybe dealing with them at a young age makes this worse, I'm not sure, but you're not alone atleast :) you got your bf to help out & you always have me to chat with if it keeps happening and you need to vent about it.  Some days it doesn't bother me at all, and other days it spikes my anxiety so bad I can't leave my house or I just sit in one spot.",-0.7694,negative,sympathizing
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,speaker,8,So funny story actually I was disassociating (more like out of body but I remember) this morning and crashed my car into the car in front of me.. my dads a mechanic (he triggers me) so we called him. Then his store and he didn’t answer.  my boyfriend was just a call away and when I thanked him later he was just like “for what?” ❤️❤️❤️ He doesn’t know yet it’s because disassociating.   On the way home my dad called me back and it scared me. Next thing I know the hood of my car flies up and shatters my windshield in my face. Thank god my boyfriend was behind me.  Called my dad back after not talking to him for over 6 months and he was lecturing me on how I’m emotional (as I’m crying) and he’s not a bad dad... ok.  Thankfully my boyfriend hung up the phone and got me home safe. I forever appreciate him.,0.9743,positive,embarrassed
611,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetting the place in life you are in for a split second ???? Disassociation maybe ??,listener_1,9,"Omg!! I am so glad you are okay physically. How are you doing emotio ally.?   Your bf sounds like an amazing man! Glad he was there for you, its harder when you feel alone.   And i swear its a parents job to make their children feel like shit for things they can't control. Especially the 'back in my day' kinda additude where they were sooo self-dependant.",0.9126,positive,acknowledging
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",speaker,1,I’ve tried everything you can think of and have had no luck. If suicide is such an epidemic.. then why aren’t there more readily available forms of help? For free! At no cost to you? It just seems very crippling to a lot of people.,-0.5903,negative,questioning
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",listener_1,2,Because the government likes money more than it likes it's citizens.,0.7063,positive,jealous
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",speaker,3,Thank you I’ve never seen this before. But you sound kinda rude,-0.4235,negative,sympathizing
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",listener_2,4,Oh I’m sorry. It didn’t mean to be rude! I was trying to be playful and cheeky! Sorry it didn’t come across that way. I can see now how it seemed rude. My apologies. 💗,0.4184,positive,sympathizing
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",speaker,5,No worries! You’re okay! 💖,0.8811,positive,questioning
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",listener_2,6,Thank you! :),0.6996,positive,wishing
612,MentalHealthSupport,"Therapy/Counseling/Any form of mental help should be free in my opinion, do you agree?",speaker,7,Yeah I know.. it sucks.. it’s ridiculous.,-0.4215,negative,agreeing
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,1,"A place where everyone has their own room.. filled with all their favorite things.  Disney characters painted on the walls, stuffed animals galore, toys, books, crayons, pencils, arts and crafts, cartoons, movies, etc.   A place where everyone was counseled daily.  A place where everyone was heavily monitored.  A place where the staff felt like family.  A place where fun activities were always provided.  A place where it was a choice to interact with other patients or not.  A place where you can make phone calls at any time you please.  A place where you can have visitors every day.  A place that lets you choose whether you’d prefer to be on medicine or not. A place that makes you feel safe. A place that makes you feel accepted.  A place that helps you improve.  A place that makes you feel better. A place that actually makes you better.  Why is there nothing like this? I don’t understand. This would be my dream.  My dream is that somewhere in the future, mental health is treated just as serious as physical health. ESPECIALLY to children, teens, and young adults-where help is very crucial in those years.   (And please don’t suggest Rivendale or any other psych ward as such because I’ve been and it was the worst experience of my life, and I know many other people who can attest to this as well)",0.9798,positive,grateful
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,listener_1,2,"Well churches have been for that since their inception. Even if you don’t believe in that stuff they will do everything they can to try and help/listen/support you(it’s literally their job) from making friends to talking about your problems and getting closure the door is always open, especially if you don’t want the specific conversion stuff",0.4215,positive,agreeing
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,3,"I’ve really been considering it lately. But I feel like they would want me to start attending actual church regularly. Which I couldn’t do. I went to a huge Pentecostal church as a kid and it always scared me. So now I kinda have a phobia of them. And I hate being in an overly filled area of people. It gives me so much anxiety. And if I went to them for help, they would probably just tell me I need Jesus in my heart, which I have. But I just don’t like churches. Especially in my area, everyone knows everyone. Which would just give me more anxiety. If I wanted to go through with that, I’d have to go somewhere else.",0.5249,positive,apprehensive
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,4,"Yeah I know, it’s terribly unfortunate:(",-0.6597,negative,agreeing
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,5,"Are you mocking me with a line from mean girls? First of all, that’s extremely hurtful to mock someone.  Secondly, how immature.  And thirdly, what a great movie to quote. Since you, yourself, are in fact a mean girl. Disgusting.",-0.8297,negative,disgusted
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,listener_2,6,"And for what it’s worth, I wish the whole world were like the place you described. I would be in heaven. But it isn’t.",0.6369,positive,jealous
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,listener_2,7,"I’m sorry, this was one of the longest days of my life and the way your wording flowed reminded me of that quote. I have a migraine and my head is about to explode, so please don’t take my comment that personally. If anything, I’m mocking myself.",-0.0023,neutral,embarrassed
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,8,It’s okay. But I just took it personally because a lot of people on Reddit have been very cruel to me recently. And now with a comment that vague I would have no clue how you mean it.,-0.8621,negative,furious
613,MentalHealthSupport,I wish there were hospitals that could treat children/teens/and young adults for mental health.,speaker,9,"Yep, I know. Cause I went to Rivendale which is basically a psych ward type of Behavioral facility in my area.. and it was the worst experience of my life.   I was 18 and got put in with a bunch of immature kids who would literally bully each other and fight constantly, which was ironic because we were all in there for the same reason; Suicide attempts or suicide tendencies.  So I’m like why is everyone being mean to each other? I felt so out of place. And I wished I could have been put with more mature people like 18 & up.  Because I feel like they would have treated my illnesses more seriously.  Plus the people I was around wouldn’t be causing conflict.   I left that place feeling like I hadn’t been helped in the slightest. Not to mention all the staff seemed to be lacking education in their field.. and everything was super chaotic and unorganized. And they couldn’t even get the phone calls lined up properly so I couldn’t even call my mom.  But yeah, I agree, we’re forced to interact with others who could be potentially harmful to us because they’re cowardly or problematic.   I just wish there was a place that were more organized and specific to your own needs and you didn’t have to be put in a room with a ton of others, you could have a room of your own where you could talk to a nurse or therapist.   It’s just so sad that suicide is heavily talked about and is such a world wide epidemic, yet, there seems to be nothing being done about it.   (Btw thank you for sharing with me ♡ I enjoy what others have to say about their experiences)",-0.8876,negative,afraid
614,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone experience numbness even when you've got an amazing view in front of you or had an amazing thing happens?,speaker,1,"Having complete numbness has been really getting to me lately. I live in London and have an incredible view from my window! I am so lucky to have genuinely one of the best views of London for a flat that isn't too pricey, yet when I'm on my balcony or looking out the window I can't feel any appreciation for it. I don't feel amazement, I don't feel it's beauty, I can tell myself it is beautiful or tell myself I am lucky but I don't feel any of it.   Same for so many situations, times where I should feel joy, excitement, amazement, or even sadness, instead I just feel numb or stressed. Does anyone else experience this? I feel like I am mad, how can I experience something amazing and literally feel nothing?!  I did go to CBT for anxiety (I have generalised anxiety disorder), which has helped, I know that anxiety filled the space in my head for a long time and I've been able to manage anxiety a bit better now, but I wonder if depression has kicked in more as it's like I don't feel anything anymore. It's very difficult!",0.5405,positive,jealous
614,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone experience numbness even when you've got an amazing view in front of you or had an amazing thing happens?,listener_1,2,This isn't anxiety. This is called anhedonia.,0.1326,positive,sad
614,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone experience numbness even when you've got an amazing view in front of you or had an amazing thing happens?,speaker,3,"Ah ok, I know that what I am experiencing isn't anxiety, but I wondered if it might be something related to depression as it's possible to have anxiety and depression at the same time. I'll look that up!",-0.9214,negative,suggesting
614,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone experience numbness even when you've got an amazing view in front of you or had an amazing thing happens?,speaker,4,"I do think I have both, and I find it really difficult, having no feeling can be so horrible!",-0.8263,negative,sad
614,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone experience numbness even when you've got an amazing view in front of you or had an amazing thing happens?,speaker,5,That's so good to hear!,0.54,positive,acknowledging
615,MentalHealthSupport,People of reddit what is your tips for controlling your anxiety?,speaker,1,I have bad anxiety and I'm looking for help.,-0.3612,negative,afraid
615,MentalHealthSupport,People of reddit what is your tips for controlling your anxiety?,listener_1,2,"For me, its music and fidget toys when out in public, though if I can get access to a kitchen and tea making stuff, I find that it helps, a small muscle memory type action. My suggestion is try and work out physical distractions you can use to pull yourself away from the brink as it were.",0.1531,positive,annoyed
615,MentalHealthSupport,People of reddit what is your tips for controlling your anxiety?,speaker,3,Thank you I'll give it a try :),0.6705,positive,wishing
615,MentalHealthSupport,People of reddit what is your tips for controlling your anxiety?,listener_1,4,Any time :) hope you can find something that helps!,0.8313,positive,consoling
616,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety and depression is triggered by a job I cannot leave,speaker,1,"I am very much a person who if she doesn't like it she will change it. However my job (of 4 years) is tied in with my visa. If I leave I will need to leave the country. My partner is also reliant on my visa to be able to stay. We are now processing for residency which could take up to 12 months. We want to settle here long time so there is no chance of just leaving the job as this is not something I want to do or waste the last 6 years of efforts to be able to stay here we are too close now.   My job is not completely horrendous but since a new manager has started I have had zero progression in my role, no development and continuously micro managed. I had weeks where I feel depressed so much so my partner doesn't even want to be around me and as time is going on I am finding harder to pull myself out of the rut. I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety.  Any advice on how to stay positive and more motivated or just general wise words would be greatly appreciated.",0.883,positive,trusting
616,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety and depression is triggered by a job I cannot leave,listener_1,2,"I served in an infantry unit when I was in the army. I hated my life. Sometimes it felt like prison until I owned up to the fact that it was a prison.   So I decided to keep myself busy with hobbies, making new friends, road trips and reading. Over time, prison became manageable because it wasn’t the centerpiece of my struggle. This is a little different from what you are going through but I always try to picture what things would have looked like if I allowed the situation to get the best of me.  The point is to stay focused on the end goal and keep yourself busy.",0.8201,positive,nostalgic
616,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety and depression is triggered by a job I cannot leave,speaker,3,Thank you for that. Good to get some advice other than my own sometimes,0.6597,positive,grateful
617,MentalHealthSupport,Alone.,speaker,1,"I just have this weird sense of being unwanted and unloved today, I feel super lonely. I don't know whats up with me today, I have no friends that I can talk to or anything. I just can't shake this feeling",-0.5699,negative,lonely
617,MentalHealthSupport,Alone.,listener_1,2,"{{{Sweetie}}} You're not alone. I know that feeling too. You are loved. You are wanted. You are enough. The world wants you here. You are worthy of belonging and feeling loved.   Usually, when that feeling comes up for me, it's because I'm being unloving to myself in some way or I'm emotionally abandoning myself. Maybe you could ask yourself what you need most from yourself today. Just be like ""Hey, I know you're feeling unloved and lonely. What can I do to be there for you today? How can I make you feel loved?"" Maybe it's giving yourself a hug, or saying nice things to yourself, or doing something kind for yourself that you've been wanting to do, or all three!      You're not alone. <3",0.9795,positive,agreeing
617,MentalHealthSupport,Alone.,speaker,3,"I really needed this, thank you so much x",0.4947,positive,wishing
617,MentalHealthSupport,Alone.,speaker,4,"Thank you for this, I forget too often that it's not forever and that it's not my fault x",0.4325,positive,sympathizing
617,MentalHealthSupport,Alone.,listener_1,5,You’re welcome so much! 😊💗,0.9379,positive,wishing
618,MentalHealthSupport,Purpose? What's yours?,speaker,1,"A little about me, 25 M alone and drowning in my own thoughts. I have been this way for quite some time staying in bed all day not wanting to get up having no energy cant bare to look at myself in the mirror not having any contact with anyone for weeks on end because I dont want people to see what I have become. I use to be so happy and filled with life now I try my hardest to avoid people because I'm such a mess. I considered suicide multiple times throughout the past year but have come to the conclusion that I have come this far not to come this far, so I push on through the struggle. I'm trying to get better an to learn how to love life again but it's tough. I dont know my purpose or what I'm doing here,   So... What's your purpose? what drives you, where do you find happiness when you're at the bottom of a dark barrel.   I'm lost have been for this entire year, I want the old me back... 💔",0.8821,positive,lonely
618,MentalHealthSupport,Purpose? What's yours?,listener_1,2,"I don’t think any of us truly know our purpose but I think that’s the point of life isn’t it? To experience new things and slowly figure it out one day at a time. I have days like that too, where I just stare off into space thinking about how I alone I feel and losing sleep to the thoughts of me ending my life. But whenever I get to the darkest points I just think to myself “what haven’t I lived to see? What is just one small thing I can look forward too? What gives me hope and happiness” and I just think to myself little things that bring me joy, like drawing and going outside, something that I’m looking foreword to like starting school or catching an episode of a tv show. What drives me is to see everything I’ve never known before, to experience everything I haven’t. I think I’d like to conclude this with a quote from uncle Iroh, “Look inside yourself, who are you? What do you want?” And simply reflect on that, I know that you can find what guides you, whether it takes a week, a month or a year, in due time we will all find our purpose.",0.9409,positive,lonely
618,MentalHealthSupport,Purpose? What's yours?,speaker,3,Love the quote and thank you for your wise words ❤,0.9325,positive,impressed
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),speaker,1,I have paranoia (alien in the corner/ the moon is a UFO/ someone is watching me) and I'm concerned that this is Schizophrenia. Thx if u commented,0.128,positive,sympathizing
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),listener_1,2,Maybe. You’d have to see a doctor.,0.0,neutral,suggesting
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),speaker,3,I'm scared To go,-0.4404,negative,apprehensive
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),speaker,4,"Since I'm well informed about the use of narcotics, I use them rarely to not damage my brain chemistry. I don't believe it to be paranoia since I have it even before I started using.",-0.2743,negative,trusting
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),listener_2,5,Feel free to message me anytime for support.,0.7184,positive,suggesting
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),listener_2,6,"Considering you are still growing, I'm sure it damages your brain chemistry. Whether you want to believe it or not.",0.1027,positive,agreeing
619,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia or schizophrenia? (Pls read ._.),speaker,7,I know but through regulated use you can minimize the damage outcome.,-0.6486,negative,agreeing
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,speaker,1,Do I have to tell my mom if I'm going to a therapist? I'm scared about taking my mom but I definitely need/want help,0.7311,positive,apprehensive
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,listener_1,2,"No, you don't have to tell anyone that you're going to a therapist. This strictly your business. Do what you feel like doing, do what is good for you. If that's keeping the therapist private for the time being, then do this.   You know something? You don't even have to be in contact with your mom if she isn't good for you.",0.4577,positive,trusting
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,speaker,3,"No I just don't want to disappoint her even more, and I'm scared she wont believe me. So I can go make a meeting without parental permission at all?",-0.5151,negative,apprehensive
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,listener_1,4,May I be so direct as to ask your age?,0.0,neutral,questioning
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,speaker,5,15,0.0,neutral,prepared
620,MentalHealthSupport,Going to a therapist,listener_1,6,"Oh, then I don't know what the details are about this. But I'm sure that if you call a therapist's office, they can tell you what kind of permission/legal form you have to have.",0.4497,positive,neutral
621,MentalHealthSupport,Things to do instead of self-harm,speaker,1,I’ve been really really wanting to self harm again. Either hurting myself or attempting again. I need something to do that keeps me distracted. I might start up knitting again. I just need something to keep my hands busy I think..,-0.8225,negative,hopeful
621,MentalHealthSupport,Things to do instead of self-harm,listener_1,2,"My therapist told me to hold ice cubes in my hands when I feel like self harming, it’s been working!",-0.3382,negative,trusting
621,MentalHealthSupport,Things to do instead of self-harm,speaker,3,"It’s not even to response to anything right now, I just want to do it. Like a weird addiction",0.2732,positive,neutral
621,MentalHealthSupport,Things to do instead of self-harm,listener_2,4,"You can see it like that, but you need to carefully analyze the situation, Like, when did you start doing that, and why? What was happening In your environment, social life, family, yourself, do you do it when you're sad, when you're anxious, when you're alone... And why is it an addiction? Why do you like it or Give preference to it...",-0.1306,negative,neutral
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,speaker,1,I’ve been having such a hard time getting over this embarrassing moment to the point it’s ruining every single day because I keep remembering it. So I play basketball and I’m usually a really calm and nice person. So I was at this tournament and my parents decided to get a hotel for the 4 days we were there. They always fight and are mean to each other but since we were all in one hotel room they were constantly doing it in front of me (like usual but I can walk away when I’m at home) and making scenes in public places. On top of it I was really tired and for some reason I cry easily when tired. They decided to keep the tv playing late the night before my earliest game so I barley got any sleep. So the team we had to play was a very violent team and the refs were favoring the other team and not calling certain things so I was getting frustrated especially when the girl I was guarding kept elbowing me on purpose. And then the ref started calling random stuff on me that was for sure bs and I’m being honest like I know when I foul. And so for the first time in my whole life and got mad and started arguing with the ref and then I started crying because of how frustrated I was to the point my coach pulled me off the court and my anxiety peeked and I couldn’t breath. She took me out of most of the game and it was so embarrassing because we were already missing a lot of girls so not having me out there made it worse and I can’t get over the whole incident and I keep trying to understand that all the stress I was under at the time was the reason why but I just can’t and I don’t know how to get over it. Parents and team mates tried to tell me I have nothing to be ashamed about because I’ve never acted the way I did in my life so they probably assumed there was something else wrong. I just need help. I don’t know how to get over it because every time I think about basketball I feel ashamed and I don’t want to play again.,-0.9869,negative,embarrassed
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,listener_1,2,"As hard as it looks... You need to calm down, do it for yourself. I don't blame you, if I were you I would feel the same, but I would try to fix it. Yes, as your parents said, you don't have why to be ashamed, it wasn't your fault, It was mostly their fault –(I don't want to get into your personal things, but that's practically what I read). Have you tried to talk about it with your parents? And telling them how much they're hurting you?  You did that, but they forced you to do that, it wasnt your fault at all. Yes, too many people may think you have like, mental issues, or whatever, but do you actually consider that? You can try to solve it with your Friends/team or your coach... Only if you think saying sorry and Explaining things will take you to something good...",0.7683,positive,neutral
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,speaker,3,"My parents don’t take account of their own actions and blame the other and if I say anything or tell them to stop fighting my mom will make an even bigger scene so that’s out of the question. I apologized to my coach but I couldn’t tell her the real reason cuz I’d start tearing up idek why I do that. She told me to not let them get in my head. I told some team members the truth and they were understanding and told me that nothing was my fault and it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to me. And honestly now that I think about it, it wasn’t that bad it’s just the panic and built emotions I was feeling just made it all worse. I don’t know how to forget the feeling cuz I keep tying that feeling to basketball. Thank you so much for replying it helped me dissect the problem",-0.9014,negative,ashamed
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,listener_1,4,"But first of all, Think for yourself you know you deserve to rest",0.0,neutral,suggesting
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,speaker,5,Thank you so much this honestly meant a lot :),0.853,positive,acknowledging
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,listener_1,6,"I'm so sorry about what's happening with your parents. I can tell you you're not alone, I'm with you, Because I used to have a similar situation. You can DM whenever you Want to, But whatever is happening, Remember to have yourself, You have to build yourself–being who you really are, learning, and becoming stronger. In life we have to Learn how to Difference real and fake people. Good luck ⭐",0.8086,positive,sympathizing
622,MentalHealthSupport,Public emotional moment,speaker,7,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
623,MentalHealthSupport,"I don't know if this fits here, but I need advice desperately",speaker,1,"(TL;DR at the bottom)  yesterday, me and my girlfriend (long distance) were talking about Minecraft and getting her nails done, and today she thinks that I haven't wanted anything to do with her for 2 months.  it was around 8 o'clock yesterday when my girlfriend, let's call her C for short, dissociated. she didn't know where she was, but luckily I could tell she was down the street from her house. I guided her home and then we facetimed to make sure she was okay, which she was. she has gone out for some ice cream from the shop, so she was happy.  she then began to ignore my texts, and then I saw this one her story:  ""single, depressed, and living my best life"" over a picture of the ice cream and Brooklyn 99.  it terrified me. my heart began to pound and I was shaking. I called her about 4 times before she picked up with a calm, yet dismissive, ""hey.""  she wasnt mad, I could tell, but it wasn't the tone we've had for the past 12 months. we spoke and she told me she was all good always, which of course I didn't believe. and then I asked her about her story and she hung up.  it took a long series of calls and texts to eventually realise she was still dissociating, and that her mind must have made up this story about us breaking up 2 months ago during her GCSEs. her and I are both 16, by the way.  eventually, she fell asleep on the phone to me and I was praying she would remember in the morning, like she normally does.  she didn't.  so now I'm here, begging for help on a subreddit.   I don't know what to do, she still is adamant we broke up, and doesn't remember even the night before last, where I helped her deal with suicidal thoughts because of her dad.  normally I'm really helpfull with her when she dissociates, but now I don't know what to do. I can't lose her, (in regards of suicide) she needs me, and I need her. she makes me the happiest guy on the world and the. in the flick of a switch were nothing.  please Reddit, I need help or advice.  TL;DR - my girlfriend dissociated last night, and now believes we've been broken up for 2 months.",0.9694,positive,trusting
623,MentalHealthSupport,"I don't know if this fits here, but I need advice desperately",listener_1,2,Are you in contact with her parents?,0.0,neutral,questioning
623,MentalHealthSupport,"I don't know if this fits here, but I need advice desperately",speaker,3,"both her mum and her dad are unwilling to help her, so technically yes, but it wouldn't get us anywhere",0.429,positive,neutral
623,MentalHealthSupport,"I don't know if this fits here, but I need advice desperately",listener_1,4,and anyone else? I mean I'm worried there is not much you can do since you're a minor and it's long distance relationship. Reaching out to her friends/family members could have the best possible outcomes. Is this girl even safe? From what you're saying it seems like she is living in an abusive environment. You might want to call a help line (I don't know where do you live),0.8105,positive,questioning
624,MentalHealthSupport,My recovery and healing is having some negative consequences.. I'm confused!,speaker,1,"I'll try to keep it brief: I started going to a psychologist three months ago after two years of quite intense anxiety and low moods. My psychologist is an amazing woman and the sessions have had a huge positive impact. In these past two months especially the progress has been amazing, I am coping very well and the anxiety attacks have been mostly gone.   But I realized that in this positivity and newfound optimism, I've started to push people away. I have especially felt that I should end my long distance relationship in order to feel emotionally independent and continue strengthening the sense of control over my emotions. To give some context, in the past I depended quite a lot on my bf's support in low moments because I couldn't cope properly by myself. But everything is going well in the relationship and the feelings have not changed.  Has anyone experienced something like this? And how do I know whether I have outgrown the relationship or if this is an irrational feeling (pushing people away to avoid getting hurt)? Could this be a consequence of the rapid progress I am making in overcoming my anxiety? Any thoughts are welcome!",0.9805,positive,sad
624,MentalHealthSupport,My recovery and healing is having some negative consequences.. I'm confused!,listener_1,2,"It may simply be that the relationships you depended on to carry on (crutches) are now hindering your emotional growth. People change and grow. Sometimes relationships stagnate, or they've served their purpose and we outgrow them. That doesn't mean we should cast them aside like yesterday's bagels, but we should reevaluate their place in our lives for sure. If/When you decide to move on, make sure you're genuine and sincere about their role in your life up to this point and how much it meant to you. Just because the road is smooth, doesnt mean you're travelling in the right direction. Same goes for relationships.  Congratulations on your ongoing recovery. Its great to hear success stories and hard work paying off :)",0.987,positive,trusting
624,MentalHealthSupport,My recovery and healing is having some negative consequences.. I'm confused!,speaker,3,""" Just because the road is smooth, doesnt mean you're travelling in the right direction. "" This resembled with my thoughts a lot. Thank you for putting it into words. Thanks also for the comment :)",0.8126,positive,neutral
624,MentalHealthSupport,My recovery and healing is having some negative consequences.. I'm confused!,speaker,4,"I feel also that I shouldn't rush, so I'm giving this relationship some more time to see how it matches with my progress... Thank you for sharing  your experience and you are right that the path to recovery is not always easy even when it feels good :)",0.9227,positive,agreeing
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,speaker,1,"I have a question. Lately I've not been feeling too great mentally. Well, this was a diary entry I wrote describing how I felt...  Today was really terrible because I was doubting myself all day, or criticizing what I did, said, or looked at. I was kinda forcing myself not to talk in case I screwed a conversation, not to do the extension task because I would make a mess at it, and constantly thinking about how I looked from other people's view, and thinking: why am I here? Do I exist solely to torture myself? To be of use to others? Or am I useless. I was asking myself the same question: what am I good at? What hobby is for me? And I kept telling myself I wasn't good at anything, there is no hobby for me. I am useless. No one wants me around. Why else would it be me being bullied for nearly three years? Why else would it be me with only 1 true friend? Because no one wants me around. If I tried to get into a friendship circle, I would be chucked out. Tossed around, from circle to circle, until finally crawling to the in-between, no man's land, the forgotten ground. But for now, I'm squeezing into the first. I feel like I am being accepted, but only to a certain extent.. I can see where I want to head, but it's a haze. Like there is a cloud, a cloud of difference. We are similar, but so different. My one true friend, who has stuck with me, is the one I am losing grip of. I am ok, I tell myself, it's just a phase, others have it worse, I deserve this. Only I know how I truly feel. My feelings are my problem, I don't want to drag others down with me.   Was wondering if I should tell said close friend how I was feeling?  Sorry for the long post",0.7644,positive,anxious
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,listener_1,2,"You need support.  I'd like to share with you one of my journal entries (for solidarity):  ""It's so obvious. I don't know how it happened.. or when.. or why.. or anything else,.. but ...people don't want me in their lives. I've been thinking about this for a while… it's so clear. After all my years.. trying and trying.. to get people to do stuff with me..and them always rejecting me.. I've been right all along. Nobody wants me.nobody needs me.. why am I even here.""  Talking to your friend about how you are feeling may not get the results you need, but sometimes these things need to be said.  I found as much support as I could doing yoga videos on YouTube. (Yoga with Adriene). And I've begun therapy.   Just try doing things for you. So you aren't defined by how many friends you don't have.",0.9569,positive,sad
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,speaker,3,Thanks for the advice!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,speaker,4,"Thanks, the website helped a lot!",0.4926,positive,acknowledging
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,listener_2,5,You're so welcome! Glad the website helped! :) <3,0.8794,positive,acknowledging
625,MentalHealthSupport,Do I need support or am I perfectly fine?,speaker,6,"This did help, thank you",0.6369,positive,neutral
626,MentalHealthSupport,Someone please give me some good advice.. I can't go on like this!,speaker,1,"I've been having terribly disturbing intrusive thoughts this past week and it's getting out of hand. I hate myself for thinking things like harming my family's new puppy or etc. I would never harm anyone! Especially that precious little pup. Why do I think these things? I'm so scared. Should I reach out for help?? If I talked about my thoughts I would seem like I'm crazy. People would be scared of me. I would NEVER act up on the intrusive thoughts but I'm so scared and I feel like my head will explode from the stress. Am I a bad person?? How can I get rid of them or at least control them?? I hate myself so much at this point. Please, somebody, what should I do???!",-0.9646,negative,terrified
626,MentalHealthSupport,Someone please give me some good advice.. I can't go on like this!,listener_1,2,"The sense to harm cute things is actually evolutionary and a way for your brain to combat endorphin overload. I've pulled a small paragraph from [this article ](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2015/10/151010-science-psychology-babies-animals-culture-behavior/)  ""So you [may] have tears of joy, nervous laughter, or wanting to squeeze something that you think is unbearably cute""—even if it's an animal you'd normally want to cuddle or protect.  That secondary reaction may also serve to “scramble” and temper their initial overwhelming emotion, thus bringing the person into balance.    Most people have had those types thoughts and felt bad afterwards, but as long as you're able to balance them and don't act on them, it's perfectly healthy.  It seems like you're aware that harming the puppy is not good, so I think you're okay.   There are a lot of people and places to turn if you think you may act on those urges; don't be afraid to reach out!",0.7169,positive,sentimental
626,MentalHealthSupport,Someone please give me some good advice.. I can't go on like this!,speaker,3,Thank you very much for the advice. I really appreciate it!,0.6989,positive,sympathizing
626,MentalHealthSupport,Someone please give me some good advice.. I can't go on like this!,listener_2,4,𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  No problem! have a great day  𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧,0.7684,positive,proud
627,MentalHealthSupport,DID? Or me coping with depression?,speaker,1,"I’m a 14 year old female seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks, I’m a little bit worried because I’ve only told my mom about some of the issues going on. Honestly I don’t feel like any of these issues are valid because many people have it worse but...I should probably figure out what’s going on anyway.   I have two “alter egos” To start I had a lot of imaginary friends when I was younger so I thought these two people were just one of them at first. one of them is older than me and one is younger, they both have different personalities than I do and have their own sexuality’s,likes/dislikes, etc. I created them as a way to escape my loneliness and abuse when I was about 8 or 9 and since then they have both become a huge part of me. What started off as some type of fantasy play to escape my shitty life has turned into something I can’t control. I haven’t “switched” into the younger one in a quite a few months. But the older one is an everyday thing. Sometimes I can’t control the switches although they rarely come out when I’m talking or with other people. One of them is currently having a lot of trauma from a relationship and this is affecting me too. Which is what makes me think this is more than me just being a weird kid. The younger one has been missing for a while and the older one doesn’t know where she is...I haven’t “switched” into the young one since this has happened.  I used to be able to shift into them at will because they were just imaginary friends I created...but it’s now becoming an uncontrollable thing. A 4th guy has been coming forward and taking over me, making me say terrible things I don’t want to say...I think he might be the 4th one",-0.8837,negative,apprehensive
627,MentalHealthSupport,DID? Or me coping with depression?,listener_1,2,"I think it's a way of coping with depression because people with DID can't remember anything from their other personality. Also, i do the same thing, it's trying to create something perfect to feel a little better. I have 3 other ""alters"" as a way of coping.",0.5729,positive,neutral
627,MentalHealthSupport,DID? Or me coping with depression?,speaker,3,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
627,MentalHealthSupport,DID? Or me coping with depression?,speaker,4,Thank you so much :),0.6983,positive,wishing
627,MentalHealthSupport,DID? Or me coping with depression?,speaker,5,Thank you :) I actually like that take on it,0.7906,positive,acknowledging
628,MentalHealthSupport,Recovery,speaker,1,"Okay. So I just would love to know the things you guys do to help with recovering from anxiety/depression/suicidal tendancies/ just typically negative things. Whether it be big or small.. how do you cope, what are small tasks you do that help?   Thanks you guys!",0.8748,positive,questioning
628,MentalHealthSupport,Recovery,listener_1,2,"Gardening is one. Walking the dog is another. Basically any physical activity that gets me out in the sun gives me a feeling of accomplishment, and that helps.  DID/PTSD/OCD/Social anxiety/clinical depression/postnatal depression/transient psychosis.",0.4767,positive,proud
628,MentalHealthSupport,Recovery,speaker,3,"This!!! Thank you, I was worried someone was going to tell me to just go to therapy lmao and that's not helpful to me.   I want to start a flower garden, and sometimes I forget to go for a walk, but the scenery, the smells are so relaxing. I will do that tonight. Thank you :)",0.9471,positive,grateful
628,MentalHealthSupport,Recovery,speaker,4,"Honestly if I could do something to help me along temperarily then it's better than nothing!! Hikes/camping are my therapy just don't get out as much as I should. When I feel suicidal in the moment, I count up until I feel more calm. I still have the sadness feeling after but I feel in control of myself atleast. It's saved me lots of times",0.7529,positive,faithful
629,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m struggling to move on after 20 years of bullying from bullies, friends and family",speaker,1,"TLDR: I’ve experience little else besides abuse from almost everyone I’ve ever had around me and I’m trying to move on but struggling to move on and make connections. If it doesn’t improve soon then I don’t know if how much longer I can take feeling like a misfit.     I was bullied on my first day of school, and this continued until I finally cut many toxic people out of my life.   I was bullied for being from a poor family at an expensive school, eventually I was moved to a normal school.   I was bullied for being an overweight kid and although I lost this weight years ago, I still despise how I look and I wear things under my clothes to hide how I actually look.   I grew up with an emotionally abusive step father who constantly tore me apart, told me that no one likes me because I’m overweight and that I’m a worthless idiot.   After I left school, lost the extra weight and step dad went away, I didn’t have a large choice of friends and spent a further 10 years hanging out with a toxic group of people that did nothing but belittle me, make me the butt of their jokes and scoffed at almost anything I said. I realised far too late that their ‘banter’ was actually just thinly vailed bullying and they didn’t even like me.   They would pick fault with anything I said, take the piss out of anything I suggested and alienated me at every opportunity. They would purposely make me look like an idiot when I met new people and sabotaged any attempt to improve myself or move on from them.   I’m nearly 30 now and after moving from a job that didn’t involve much social interaction to an office job, my lack of confidence and self worth is really showing itself. I am finding it very hard to relax and my anxiety is so severe that I can hardly think of things to say to people around me.   I have been trying to move on for a few years now but I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. I need to find some new friends so that I can finally feel the sort of connections and friendships that most people take for granted.   I have managed to sort myself out in many ways. I am a healthy weight and I have a good job, but I just don’t seem to be able to hold a conversation like everyone else. I feel like what I’m saying is boring or not worth saying and a lot of time I just back of saying much at all.    Underneath all of this, I’m a normal and fairly happy person but I’ve never experienced much from those around me but abuse or fakery and i feel like if I don’t make some progress soon then I can’t spend many more years feeling I’m not made for this world.   Any advice for someone in a bit of a crisis?",-0.9841,negative,sad
629,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m struggling to move on after 20 years of bullying from bullies, friends and family",listener_1,2,"Do you have a boy/girlfriend ? It could help you a lot to hang out with new people who won't judge you for your past, as you said. If you feel at ease with your co-workers, you might want to tell them about your anxiety, then ask for pieces of advice on how to handle this. As you spend a big part of your time with them, if they're mature enough, they will greatly help you. Regardless of the person you will be talking to, there's no need to tell them all about yourself, if you don't want to. You also have many people here to talk with. I might be too young to help you (almost 18), but I'm not alone, and neither are you.",0.7612,positive,trusting
629,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m struggling to move on after 20 years of bullying from bullies, friends and family",speaker,3,"I do have a girlfriend, and I recently met some new friends who are amazing and the sort of people I wish I’d had around me this whole time. I’ve let on a little about my past, enough for them to get the idea. I really enjoy being around them and I’m trying to come out of my shell but everyone still seems to have a connection with each other that I can’t seem to create.   Its nice to know I’m not alone, I really hope that this feeling will go away ASAP.",0.964,positive,lonely
629,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m struggling to move on after 20 years of bullying from bullies, friends and family",speaker,4,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
629,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m struggling to move on after 20 years of bullying from bullies, friends and family",speaker,5,"I’d really like some therapy, it’s not easy to get where I live and even harder to get time off work to go.   I have some new friends and I’m doing my best to relax and to work out who I really am and be able to accept true friendship, I’ve not got very just yet but hoping it improves!",0.9527,positive,trusting
630,MentalHealthSupport,Stuck in a Mental Maze,speaker,1,"   I’ve become mentally trapped in a maze of repetitive thoughts/feelings/arguments about unresolved issues, anxieties about my future (regarding my finances, career, life purpose, and whether I’m being taken advantage of by others), and wanting to box myself into a category (I’m a personality quiz junkie) where I can have mental clarity about who I am, what I want out of life, and the steps necessary to get to that life.  I struggle being around people, not out of shyness (I can be outgoing if need be), but rather feeling exhausted with other people (especially if they’re needy). This exhaustion has even caused hyperventilation and heart palpitations where I had to a private room to calm myself down. I only feel better when I’m alone in silence where the expectation of another task/favor is nonexistent. Only then can I think clearly to resolve my mental struggles, no matter how fleeting that resolution seems. My reason for reaching out is that I’ve been having suicidal thoughts from time to time. Nothing that would necessarily drive me to suicide, but the thoughts are scary nonetheless.  My biggest fears is living a meaningless life where I’m just drifting from place to place until I die. However, I also fear acting out of the concern of making a wrong move (hence my career feels like it’s at a standstill).  What’s going on with me? What should I try to do to permanently resolve this?",-0.9839,negative,anxious
630,MentalHealthSupport,Stuck in a Mental Maze,listener_1,2,"                                                                        𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  You have addressed the following concerns:  1a. Feeling trapped within your mind 1b. your mind is on unresolved issues 1c. your life is around unresolved issues 1d. you want to create a label to feel resolved  The underlying understanding is that if you create a label, and possibly receive prescribed medication, you will be given a better ability to have control over external factors within your life, in regards to financial, career, and personal matters.  Therefore, the following has occured: 2a. Requiring assistance 2b. Not wishing to give assistance 2c. Fear of being homeless 2d. Confused about psychological factors                                                                       𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧  Here is a possible explanation.  3a. You dont know what you dont know 3b. You are paranoid about being homeless 3c. The homeless usually suffer from a trauma 3d. You have not addressed any trauma 3e. You are likely being forced to face it 3f. You need assistance to face what is creating your outcomes in your life. Correct?                                                                        𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧  Being homeless is not necessarily a bad thing, the issue is that there will be no one there to pick you up when you have ""faced"" your issues at ground level, let alone the possible health, financial, and psychological concerns longterm.  I would strive on taking all your fears from your past, and imagining those memories being broken into a million pieces within no association with the event of time. Then, I would focus on observing new interpretations of life itself, while seeking free cognitive therapy within your community.  Instead of having a label, does this better help you?                                             Please let me know if you have any questions.                                                                         𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧",-0.5376,negative,apprehensive
630,MentalHealthSupport,Stuck in a Mental Maze,speaker,3,"Hi, thank you so much for your response.  The thing is I'm not afraid of being homeless, necessarily, but rather afraid of being stuck. This would be the fear of not taking a risk or being uncertain what I should do because I'm not sure if it's the right thing that I actually want.   I believe you hit the nail on the head regarding me wanting to control external forces in my life because I'm afraid of the things I don't know.",-0.8235,negative,proud
630,MentalHealthSupport,Stuck in a Mental Maze,listener_1,4,"𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  Please let me know if you are understood.  Ah, so you have come to understand that is what is within your mind, and not about your external state by which you associate with your internal wellbeing. In other words, a homeless shelter does not have consciousness, as you choose how to attach a certain meeting.  Please let me know if I am understood.  While your thoughts are only 100% real to yourself, your thoughts become actions, by which do effect the external world, regardless of your interpretation of the external reality. Therefore, I would focus on changing your perception, instead of your actions, unless your actions are providing negative results. There is the most likely ""center"" to what you seek to understand, and then there is the explanation of this matter, by which we share through linguistics, orientation, and mathematics.  Time is your answer to all of your concerns, not the answer itself. I would focus on experiencing life, versus seeing life through a glass window. You see, life is not a dress rehearsel, as it is not a discussion of ""good and bad"" but instead.. asking how you feel and then asking why you feel this way in order to live happier.  Do not have fear, please let me know if there is any questions.  𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧",0.8157,positive,apprehensive
631,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like a danger currently,speaker,1,my correct partner hasn’t ever gone into detail about an incident that happened between him and a friend that he had prior to us being together. i suspect that he was raped (he’s never said this in specific) because of the phrase “he pushed me against the wall and shoved his hand down my pants” i’ve been told about the incident multiple times and i genuinely feel like i’m a danger to his former friends life,0.2023,positive,terrified
631,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like a danger currently,listener_1,2,"Valid reaction, but you're best leaving it. If he opens up fully, then pursue it legally.  I do understand. My partner was violently raped by his ex and ended up in hospital. I'd happily put her through as much pain as I could.",-0.6956,negative,agreeing
631,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like a danger currently,speaker,3,❤️idk what to say ty,0.3818,positive,sympathizing
631,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like a danger currently,listener_2,4,"Your situation actually helped me to open up to my boyfriend, so thank you also, let's hope it's just onwards and upwards from now x",0.7304,positive,encouraging
631,MentalHealthSupport,i feel like a danger currently,speaker,5,"i’m glad to hear that, good luck to you and i wish you both well!",0.9184,positive,wishing
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",speaker,1,"I understand the whole “you are the only person holding yourself back!” quote, but seriously?   Is that all people have to say?  Or do they just feel guilty themselves for not reaching out?   That is the laziest way out!!   I would give my last dime to someone who needed it!!!   But people can’t even simply offer words of encouragement, support, a listening ear, or even a shoulder to cry on!!!   This whole mentality that we have to do everything ourselves is a complete LIE!   We are literally put on this earth for each other!  God made Eve for a reason!   Happiness is not real unless SHARED!   I don’t see how so many people can sit back and let their friends, peers, family, loved ones, etc. suffer alone??   We are better than this.   Don’t tell that person that they have the power to heal themselves! (And healing can be extremely difficult)   Maybe you could be a catalyst to their healing journey??  Let go of pride and start picking up generosity.   It doesn’t take a lot, just a little. And you can completely change a person’s day, night, or entire week!   I just don’t understand how people can sit back and wait until it’s too late to care.   We’re becoming a society filled with selfish careless people.   And that truly haunts me.",0.8374,positive,angry
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",listener_1,2,"I completely agree with you that we need to have more compassion & empathy for eachother for sure , and to say that someone should handle things on their own is a cowards way out because someone doesn’t understand what another person is truly going through , I always try to be understanding , openminded and empathetic to someone’s situation and I always try to help people when I can , in fact I tend to put my own needs aside and do my best for others before worrying about my own needs. The problem is most people tend to take advantage of my good nature and use it to their own advantage so I’m very particular these days about who I help , especially strangers , but if a friend or a acquaintance (someone I know pretty well) asks for help it’s hard for me to say no.",0.9785,positive,agreeing
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",speaker,3,"Exactly!  Don’t just dish out your time and energy and good will to just anyone. But I feel like friends, family, and loved ones need to step up for sure. I’ve gotten more help and support here on Reddit from complete strangers than I have from people that’s been in my life for years.  I always try to help those around me and it’s just sad that they never offer it in return.  I just feel like social media and this whole watching each other’s lives from a distance creates a lack of communication.",0.9831,positive,trusting
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",listener_1,4,I agree social media has definitely got us away from personal face to face interaction but yes I have gotten a lot of support from social media seems more so than from the people in my life lately but I’ve also been attending support groups too so that also helps,0.952,positive,agreeing
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",speaker,5,"Yes exactly, it does seem so. I feel like we’ve almost been forced to come to social media for interactions because people simply do not provide them face to face anymore. And I wish we had some type of support groups in my area:/",0.7832,positive,agreeing
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",speaker,6,Exactly. I’ve already done everything I can for myself alone. Now I just wish someone could help me a little more along the way.,0.5267,positive,agreeing
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",listener_1,7,Look up Celebrate Recovery it’s a Christian based group that incorporates Christian values into the 12 step program it’s nation wide and is done in a lot of churches,0.7506,positive,faithful
632,MentalHealthSupport,"I’m sorry but as a society we need to do better, for ourselves & for each other.",listener_2,8,"Hey, ViolentRed\_, just a quick heads-up:   **goverment** is actually spelled **government**. You can remember it by **n before the m**.   Have a nice day!  ^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.",0.4753,positive,wishing
633,MentalHealthSupport,Guilt Tour,speaker,1,I have had a lot of misunderstandings due neurotypical people thinking or seeing my actions from their perspective.   A lot of bad coincidences have happened and I think people have a low opinion of me. Now I wonder if it's worth trying to push forward.,-0.5719,negative,apprehensive
633,MentalHealthSupport,Guilt Tour,listener_1,2,"I get misunderstanding from neurotypicals all the time. I'm done with them trying to tell me what I need. I've had a terrible 2019 so far, but I've got things started turning around. It's taken a lot of hard work, a lot of mistakes, a lot of tears, a lot of stress, a lot of struggle. But I've done it. And I KNOW that you can to. It's not that long ago I was in that place... Maybe I should just give in, give up, and do what everyone else wants. But I knew it wouldn't be better. It wouldn't be easier. I wouldn't be happy.   Keep going. Find someone you can talk to, even online. One person in your pocket rooting you on makes a difference.",-0.975,negative,hopeful
633,MentalHealthSupport,Guilt Tour,speaker,3,Thanks!,0.4926,positive,wishing
633,MentalHealthSupport,Guilt Tour,listener_1,4,You're welcome. Feel free to message me if you want.,0.765,positive,acknowledging
633,MentalHealthSupport,Guilt Tour,speaker,5,Thanks!,0.4926,positive,wishing
634,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like committing,speaker,1,"I feel like I’ve messed up everything. I don’t have much of a future, and I’m so alone. I need some advice. Please",-0.0557,negative,lonely
634,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like committing,listener_1,2,"I understand how you feel. I regularly face this thought myself. What keeps me going is the fact that no matter how dark a place i am in, there is always someone that i can talk to if i look hard enough that understands me, and talking to them always helps me realize my worth.   You are valuable, no matter what your mistakes or previous actions are, and even if you messed something up, there's always a silver lining that is the lessons you learn. Find something to make, and get into the habit of doing that every now and then, be it food or journal entries or even just a new perspective on something.   If you need someone to talk to, my DMs are open.  I understand how you feel, It's okay, and you're not a bad person.",0.7097,positive,trusting
634,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like committing,speaker,3,Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
634,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like committing,speaker,4,I won’t. Thank you. I will try to stay strong,0.7003,positive,faithful
634,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like committing,speaker,5,"Thank you, I will keep that in mind",0.3612,positive,wishing
635,MentalHealthSupport,It’s crazy isn’t it? (Waves of depression),speaker,1,"Some days (like today for me) you can wake up feeling so refreshed and pretty calm and relaxed and unbothered by practically everything.  Then other days (most days for me) you can wake up feeling so drained and sluggish and anxious and depressed and bothered by practically everything.   But the bad thing is, I’ll probably relapse later on today.   I just don’t understand how some people truly believe that those who suffer from depression can control it?  Like? If that’s the case, then I wouldn’t be waking up feeling SO drastically different on random days.  I’ve learned by my good days that it’s completely out of my control. Because of course! I wish I could wake up feeling like this every day! But that’s just not the case.  I’ve done nothing in particular to be in this good mood.   So you could see then, how unfair it is to wake up 9 times out of 10 feeling extremely low.  For no reason. And you can’t even alter it no matter how hard you try.  Then turn around and have an effortlessly good day. For no reason.   I’m finding out more about this thing I’m going through every day. And I’m learning that it simply is something you cannot control.   This is why people from an outside standpoint who don’t suffer from any kind of mental disorder, should really pay attention more and research more and be more empathetic.   Because theoretically, if it were a choice.   I’m sure a lot more people would be waking up making the choice to feel good.   I don’t know why anyone would have the mentality that it’s “for attention” or whatever other silly ideas dense people come up with.  I don’t know why anyone would think we WANT to feel this way.  Quite literally, it doesn’t matter what we WANT.  Because it’s simply out of our control.  So for people that don’t understand, take a step back today, and maybe examine this with an open mind. Maybe perhaps people truly do WANT to be better, but they just don’t have the choice.   Thank you ♡  (P.s I absolutely love my good days and I always take full advantage of them when they arise, and feel extremely grateful)",0.9902,positive,sad
635,MentalHealthSupport,It’s crazy isn’t it? (Waves of depression),listener_1,2,this has  been happening to me for over 10 years. now.. I cant explain it either and everyone just tells me I need to get on medication but I absolutely refuse and want to do it naturally! are you on any meds ? hope your all good dude,0.7648,positive,consoling
635,MentalHealthSupport,It’s crazy isn’t it? (Waves of depression),speaker,3,"Yep, over 10 years for me as well.  And same here, I’ve literally been told by family, teachers, peers, friends, therapist, etc. that I need to get on medicine. I mean it is my last option, and I’ve put it off for years, but  I really just don’t want to.. it’s been known to make things worse or cause other problems with your mind/body. It just messes with the natural balance of hormones and a lot of other things in your body.  Any type of medicine does that. Even taking over the counter drugs like Ibuprofen or antibiotics can throw things off balance. I mean I’m already on birth control (Nexplanon, the arm implant) and it’s made me gain weight, caused more mood swings, made me paranoid in a sense, and even seemed to make me more depressed. And I’ve heard it’s done this to a lot of other people as well.  So if just over the counter drugs and birth control alone can make that big of a change.. Then the thought of strong mental geared medication just scares me.",0.3728,positive,apprehensive
635,MentalHealthSupport,It’s crazy isn’t it? (Waves of depression),listener_1,4,"Yeah, I dont believe it is caused from a lack of serotonin in the brain Dr phill explains it really well on Joe Rogans podcast check it out if you haven't seen it. but one thing that does help me out a lot is sensory deprivation tanks. go float once a week or more it helps calm me an brings a sense of peace to my mind, also music is a great way. The latest Nf album really speaks to my soul! I also log my feelings by writing them done so when I can over come all this one day I can read back on it when it strikes again an hopefully deal with it a lot better. the internal war is a tough one to fight but just know you are not alone and there are many others going through it. You just have to stay strong and solider through it, never think of suicide being your opition out of it because it's not and one day things will be better and you will strive to greatness, we have it all the tools we need within us to overcome it and like the warriors we are fighting this war we will WIN!!!",0.9849,positive,joyful
635,MentalHealthSupport,It’s crazy isn’t it? (Waves of depression),speaker,5,"Omg I LOVE Joe Rogan’s podcast!!! I watch it all the time!:)  And yes I’ve heard of sensory deprivation tanks. I would loveeeee to try one out. They sound so cool.  But yes, I agree, I believe we can overcome and achieve this naturally without medicine.  And I love writing how I’m feeling down. That’s why I made this post. When I’m thinking about it I’ll write it down or come here.",0.9675,positive,sad
636,MentalHealthSupport,First world problems?,speaker,1,"Today I tweeted something about how I can't think that the things I do are ok, even if my boss tells me so, or my coworkers, or my therapist. I. Just. Can't... I always think that something could be done better, or that if I were somebody else, it would be better... I don't know.  The thing is that if you know me, you wouldn't say I have a bad life. In fact, I don't think that either. I am independent (not earning as much money as I would like, though), I live with my boyfriend (an amazing, supportive person) and my family loves me. I feel bad for feeling so down all the time, but it really hurts. It hurts to be me, because I don't like what I am, I feel like trash, and I want to cry all the time.   So some guy said that my complaint for not being good enough was a ""white people problem"". And I feel bad. But I just can't help feeling so depressed.",-0.9849,negative,ashamed
637,MentalHealthSupport,I feel stable but I still want to die.,speaker,1,"Hey everyone, I advise you to read this whole post - but if you just want the gist here is a tl;dr:  *I've been severely depressed/ suffered OCD for a very long time about 11 years maybe more, have had severe traumatic experiences etc.  (19F) I'm in Therapy , medicated and have a job , loving relationship, great family - and I still feel like I should be dead.*  So basically I have wanted to die for a very long time , I have been in therapy for a year and a half now, health wise I'm fine - and I am actually having a pleasant day in a pretty good week.  That's exactly why I am confused , I think I'm happy but that doesn't stop me from wanting to die. I just feel like a cradrige that's space is running out. It's been enough. I'm tired of all the experiences I've already had in my life (both the negatives and the positives) I have lived through terrible things: Sexual assault when I was young - my own father lusting after me, being the target of the ex of my stepfather , being harassed and bullied in 4 diffrent schools, working myself to absolute mental and physical destruction right out of school when I worked as a chef. I could go on but I think that's enough to get the point across.  It's not a feeling of despair or an instinctual thing the thought is surprisingly clear-headed.  Am I just going insane? Did I snap somewhere?  Help is much appreciated. Thank you for reading.",-0.9603,negative,ashamed
637,MentalHealthSupport,I feel stable but I still want to die.,listener_1,2,"I can relate on multiple levels. During the good days you just want to die. Which there is a theory call the ""Call to the Void"" but if you have symptoms of depression and it sounds like a very traumatic childhood, you could be having suicidal ideation. Which unfortunately can be a side effect of medication. If you don't think it is, it could be the call to the void or just ideating. I have ideation on a daily basis. The difference is that you have wants but never fully commit because why should you? Even if it's a want. I would bring it up in counseling if you can. But stress that its ideation and that (hopefully) you don't have a plan. They could then understand what to help with. Be very strigical when explaining this tho to health professionals, otherwise they could get the wrong idea and suggest a hospital stay. But it's also not a good idea to not talk about it.",-0.9778,negative,terrified
637,MentalHealthSupport,I feel stable but I still want to die.,speaker,3,"Thank you for your comment - it's just strange to me because my family is the only reason I am alive - but for me , I just don't want to keep experiencing things , even if from this second on they'd all be positive! I just feel....full (?)",0.7911,positive,neutral
637,MentalHealthSupport,I feel stable but I still want to die.,listener_2,4,"The full feeling is something that I have not experienced, but that doesn’t mean you’re the only one. I’m sure many people do. If you have not already, talk to a psychologist about things, I’m sure they can help you",0.8658,positive,neutral
638,MentalHealthSupport,Tired all the time from anxiety and depression?,speaker,1,My anxiety and depression have been slowly getting worse over the last couple of months and I’ve began to feel exhausted all of the time and no matter what I do like drink caffeine or exercise I’m still exhausted. Does anyone else have this problem?,-0.9216,negative,questioning
638,MentalHealthSupport,Tired all the time from anxiety and depression?,listener_1,2,I have this multiple times a day. During these days (or even weeks) I take it easy. If I'm at work (I clean for a living) I just go at my own pace. I try not to push myself because I know that if I do then itll get worse. I know some people tho will push themselves thru it. So it depends what route you want to take. Take it easy and get what you can done or push thru it. Sometimes just talking to someone can help too.,0.8126,positive,content
638,MentalHealthSupport,Tired all the time from anxiety and depression?,speaker,3,Thank you so much for that you’ve helped so much. Much love -Andrew,0.7884,positive,wishing
638,MentalHealthSupport,Tired all the time from anxiety and depression?,listener_2,4,You’re very welcome! 💗,0.8758,positive,wishing
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,speaker,1,"I have no friends but I actually feel like that might be the solution to my problems. Since I was 15(now 24) I haven't had any friends to speak of. The ones that came before weren't real friends anyway(when I started becoming really depressed around 15 and was no longer fun, they all just dissapeared as if they never existed).  The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I am gutless when it comes to any kind of pain, I tried when I was 15 with pills, ended up in the ICU for 3 days with no longlasting damage and again when I was 20 I tried to slit my wrists but that shit was just too painful and I didn't realise just how deep u needed to cut to be successful.  Unlike alot of stories that I've heard from people with suicidal tendencies, I don't see myself as a burden. I think that I would make a really good friend. I don't want anything else other than someone to give a shit about me, I know I'm caring and loyal, I would have my friends back through anything.  Basically I just think I've spent too much time alone, I don't think that I really want to die. I just don't see the point in carrying on like this. I don't know why I can't seem to develop a single meaningful connection with someone who isn't being paid to listen.  Anyway just felt like getting this out of my head.  (My probation officer/therapist said I should try putting myself out there lol, I guess this is me doing that)",-0.8892,negative,lonely
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,listener_1,2,"I literally have no friends either and I'm 22, I make myself feel like I'm not alone bc I have social media but at the end of the day, I only have my boyfriend.   What I'm also trying to say is I'm happy to be your online friend!! I've suffered for years with my own mental illness so I understand (also self harmed before)  xoxo",0.6982,positive,grateful
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,speaker,3,"Thank you for taking the time to read and respond :)  I do the same thing with the Internet, it really is the greatest distraction from real life, I'm basically procrastinating my life away. It's a good thing that you have your boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship before and tbh I don't think I ever will.. I mean if noone even likes me enough to want to get to know me, how is it that anyone will ever love me. How did you end up with your boyfriend without having a friendship group? That's if you don't mind me asking, you don't have to answer that",0.9447,positive,grateful
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,listener_1,4,"You really will! I promise you that. My mum always told me it happens when you least expect it and aren't looking for one!  I had a mate well over a year ago say they were in a club, it was just down the road from me and it was 90's pop music, I love that sort, I used to smoke so I was out in the smoking area I also have a tendency to wander off when I go out (when I drink I chain smoke ahaha) I just told him and his mate I liked his tattoos, he has a band thing on his arm, I thought it was a hot air balloon! We stayed talking for Abit, went inside and he got me drinks, my piercing in my lip fell out he took me home and we went from there. I literally saw this mate for 5 minutes - he's a messy drunk and very embarrassing.   It's so scary to put yourself out there, or even do things alone but it's so worth it. Silent discos are cool too, oddly enough people are very sociable at nightclubs, as long as you're safe of course. They get drinks in them and are willing to talk to anyone!   Find groups on facebook, if you're into make up and sorts there's loads, there's groups for tv shows, its so small but sometimes you find someone who's into all the stuff you are x",0.9449,positive,guilty
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,speaker,5,"Thank you, same to you too!",0.4199,positive,acknowledging
639,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what the f*** I'm living for,speaker,6,"That is a nice thought i guess, hopefully they aren't on the other side of the world lol",0.8074,positive,encouraging
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,speaker,1,"I feel depressed It is nature for men to find other women attractive and want to sleep with them.  I have a boyfriend and it's ruining my life thinking about this.  Its in a man's nature to want to spread his seed thus sleep with so many women  A woman has to invest 9 months for a pregnancy whereas a man has to biologically invest nothing and has an unlimited supply of semen whereas women experience menopause Its all written in nature And especially in this day and age women are sexualised everywhere you look and knowing that your partner finds them sexually attractive and imagines having sex with them is so depressing This really depresses me Every movie I watch with my boyfriend, every time we go outside, every time he is on Instagram it is full of women with model looks and ideal bodies Even some women who know a man is taken will use her looks to get his attention and flirt and cheat because it makes them feel better Even on Instagram I saw one of those instafamous women saying how much she loves making other women feel uncomfrtable when she wears seethrough clothing in public with their husbands eyeing her up I know I will age and get old and lose my looks. I know I don't have big boobs or a big ass or a model stunning looking face. I know that no matter what these types of girls with perfect looks will be everywhere.  I kept googling this issue but every response I read depresses me even more. Women are made to accept that men will always find other women attractive and want to sleep with them. I even asked my male friend and he confirmed this and told me that 70 year old women he's spoken to who are married are all accepting of this because they understand nature.  One woman wrote on one of the sites I came across that she's grown to accept that her husband of 35yrs find other young women attractive but then she asked him recently what goes throggh his mind when he looks at them. She said he said he would answer so honestly and told her that he imagines having sex in different positions with them and then later on when he's having sex with her he imagines those other women he's seen that have the bodies and youth and looks that are more ideal.  I feel like women have the short end of the stick in life because they're more about feelings and loving someone and not imagining doing anything with anyone else (In general due to nature).  I hate the thought of always going to places with my boyfriend and always watching movies with my boyfriend where there are so many women dressed and acting in a sexual way which of course he is attracted to. I feel so shit about this and so uncomfrtable always having to experience this. It feels like there's no getting away from this.  Even 40 years from now we could be going to the beach surrounded by model women.  I know my boyfriend loves women with big asses and we see these women everywhere in movies we watch and even walking through the streets. We live in the city centre of a large city so there is always girls dressed to go clubbing with the type sof body my boyfriend likes. I don't have this body but even if I did it would go away with age but his desire for other women won't.  Life seems doomed for me because this affects me so much. I've read so many responses on websites I've seen that men do in fact wish they could have sex with these women and imagine having sex with them but they don't go through with it because it would hurt the relationship but they would if they could So basically the relationship is like a burden or an obstacle in the way of their true natural desires. One man wrote that 'if his girlfriend is not open, he will just look but not touch, if she is open then they will both look and touch'  Life seems so unfair. I hate this feeling and it's really affecting me. I don't know what to do because you can't fight nature. It's the ultimate truth :( and it's affecting me so much that I don't see life worth living. I don't know what to do",0.9908,positive,sad
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,listener_1,2,Why are you defining yourself by what men think about you? That's even sadder than anything you wrote.,-0.5267,negative,sad
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,speaker,3,"Would you imagine other girls when your partner gets old? What goes through your mind when you look? I read online where the husband honestly told his wife of 35yrs that he sometimes imagines the younger, more attractive women when he's in bed with her! This makes me feel so sad because I wouldn't imagine my partner being anyone else and to me it's so hurtful I've spoken to a male friend and read so many online discussions about this topic which all made me feel worse reading them I want to go to counselling to feel better about this  And I'm in UK",0.1993,positive,jealous
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,listener_2,4,"I can't predict the future so not sure what I will imagine when my partner gets old.  I do not have the benefit of immortality so I will be getting old with her.  Changes in each of us will be gradual so maybe I won't even notice when we are old(er).  As far as what you read online and your friends... have you looked at the human race lately... there are so many different kinds of people with such a wide range of beliefs.  If you can imagine it, you can find someone who does it or has experienced it.  There are adult people who never had sex, and people the same age who had sex 100 times.  People are different.  So if you are looking for things to be sad about, you will have no problem finding it on this planet.  You need to accept that bad things will happen to people.  And you can almost always find someone who has it worse and many times you can find people who gave it worse that are doing great and have a wonderful life.  Because we are defined bit by what happens to us, but by how we react to those situations.  Common sense tells me there are wonderful people out there and because of my positive attitude, I will find them. You sound like you don't believe it, you're afraid, and you are expecting that you won't find a good man... you will fulfill your own prophecy because of your negative attitude and fears.  That's where the saying comes from ""there is nothing to fear, but fear itself"".  Because it's your fear and attitude that has defeated you and not what you are actually afraid of.",-0.6703,negative,apprehensive
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,speaker,5,That really scares me that you don't know what you'll think in the future. Just reminds me of what that man said who was old and imagined young girls he's seen throughout the day when in bed with her partner despite telling her that she's the only one for him :( and the only reason he told her what goes through his mind is because she asked him to be honest after 35 yrs of marriage. Im just so depressed about life having to always be around those typical instagram models with my boyfriend lusting after them I want to be positive about this but it feels like I can't change that fact so it's a dead end. Like you can't fight against nature and it always makes me so uncomfrtable and sad. I'd be positive if it wasn't the case but it is :(,-0.5239,negative,terrified
640,MentalHealthSupport,Finding life unbearable because of men's desire for other women whne they're in a relationship,listener_2,6,"Here's another point.... People are attracted to different aspects of a person.  I know guys who can look at someone and say the person is hot and who are probably willing to get in bed with them just based on that.  Not everyone is like that.  Yes, I'm going to assessment when I meet someone as to whether they are attractive or not, whether that's conscious or subconscious.  But for me sex and attraction is 99% cerebral.  That's probably why I don't fantasize about actresses.... because I really don't know what they are like.  I don't like pro porn because it's so fake.  So while I appreciate a good looking woman, I need a connection to go further.",0.8761,positive,jealous
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,speaker,1,"I basically have a permanent knot in my stomach that goes away for like maybe 30 mins and then it comes back. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night with a sinking feeling in my stomach and worrying about something that happened months ago. A week or two ago, I texted my friend at 3 in the morning that I was sorry I did something (this was after I’d apologized profusely and she’d forgiven me and we were still great friends for literal months). And a lot of times, if I’m talking about anything remotely worrying, I’ll start shivering and sweating. I don’t know if these are normal things that everybody experiences and I’m making a big deal out of nothing or if I should look into them.",0.9217,positive,guilty
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,listener_1,2,"As a person who has struggled with anxiety, I can't tell you whether or not you do have anxiety (as mental health is obviously personal for each person.)  HOWEVER, some of the things you have described do align with how i felt (i.e: the knots and the late night worrying.)  I think that consulting with a therapist would be beneficial for you, as they can sometimes diagnose you and give you coping techniques.  If you find the right therapist, therapy is one of the best options before the anxiety gets worse.  My anxiety is a lot less worse now after therapy.  I have never been so grateful for such an opportunity!    I wish you all the best and hope that helped!  Reddit is always here if you need <3",0.892,positive,agreeing
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,speaker,3,"Thank you! I’ll try to get some help once I move out to go to college. Right now, Reddit’s the closest thing I have to a therapist :)",0.8172,positive,wishing
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,listener_1,4,"if you ever experience an attack or anything, my pms are always open and 100% judgement free! happy to help/give you the techniques my therapist gave me any time if you are unable to get help atm :)",0.8718,positive,agreeing
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,speaker,5,Thank you! I really appreciate it!,0.725,positive,sympathizing
641,MentalHealthSupport,I think I have anxiety but I’m not sure,listener_1,6,any time (:,0.4939,positive,questioning
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,1,"Does anyone have Asperger’s Syndrome or think they may have it and would like to share?   For years now, I’ve done a lot of calculations and thinking.. And a lot of my characteristics fit those of someone who has Asperger’s.   Now I’m not here to validate why I think I do, because frankly, I don’t owe anyone an explanation.  But let’s just say, the characteristics are very prominent, enough so that many family members, teachers, counselors, friends, etc. have all suggested this may be the case.   I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me or that I was different somehow.  Simply because, a lot of things are very difficult to me when they would be pretty much completely simplistic to others.   Not only that but I struggled more in school and communication than anything.   (Fun fact; I didn’t speak until I was 3)  A lot of teachers assumed I was defiant and didn’t listen, simply because I didn’t understand things after multiple times of explanation.   Or they would constantly tell me to pay attention because my mind wondered so much.   If a teacher was hovering over my desk and explaining something to me, it’s like I couldn’t even hear their words.   Just the fact that they were hovering over me I would start focusing on the most ridiculous things.  For example, the shape of their nail bed or how dry their hands were or what they smelled like or what their voice sounded like.  Then when they were done explaining they’d say “Do you get it now?” And me realizing I wasn’t listening to a word they were saying but being too embarrassed of myself to say so, I would just say “Yeah I get it now” even though I really didn’t.   My parents as well, (mostly my dad) was very aggressive and thought that I was being disrespectful when I asked “why” after being told not to do something.   But it wasn’t that I was disrespectful or defiant in any way. It was simply because I didn’t understand ANYTHING.  And I still don’t.   I’m 20 years old but I think like I’m very young... I’m not sure how young but I really just don’t feel my age, nor can I take on practically every responsibility of someone my age.  A lot of people have claimed that I’m just “lazy” and that’s really hurtful because I just don’t get things like other people do.   I don’t understand anything.  And something special about me is I’ve learned to mask this part of myself very privately. The thing is, I don’t want anyone knowing there’s something “wrong” with me or that I am “different” in any way.  So I struggled a lot in my childhood basically accepting everything that everyone said about me because in my head, I’d rather them think I was defiant or lazy than to think I’m stupid.   I remember never expressing to my teachers that I couldn’t follow along simply in fear of being put in a “special” class.  It would have humiliated me.  So I just hide it and accepted the bad grades I was getting for years.  Now I know everything I explained about about my attention span and all that doesn’t really equate to having Asperger’s.  BUT there a lot of other qualities and characteristics about myself that do.   For example, I’ve been obsessed with things little kids do.. since, well, I was a little kid.-I just simply didn’t grow out of them.  If you were to come to my house, it doesn’t look like 20 year old me lives here.. it looks more like a 7-14 year old lives here.   There’s nothing but toys and stuffed animals, dolls, coloring books, crayons, markers, pencils, blankets (that are all hello kitty or kid themed in some way), drawings, my little pony things, care bear things, Lisa Frank things, the list could go on & on.  And I’m aware that ya know, a lot of “normal” people enjoy these things too. BUT a lot of “normal” people don’t actually play with them, they just have them.  Well me, I actually play with them. Every day I have to be carrying around a baby doll or stuffed animal of some sort and I’ve always been that way.  I even enjoy the occasional bath with all my favorite my little ponies or hatchimal animals lined up on the side of the tub.   Another thing is, I don’t really enjoy “adult” movies. I mean I’ve seen plenty of them.. But I just don’t enjoy them as much, for some reason they always give me an odd feeling. I can’t ever be watching something unless it’s a kid movie or an animated film of some kind.   I spend a lot of time watching YouTube because I can control what I watch.  I never really liked tv because I can’t control if an adult show/movie comes on. All I ever did was wait until it was super early in the morning to watch cartoons or wait until it was super late at night to watch them.  I remember when I was around 14-15 and Adventure Time came out, I was so thrilled, because it came on right when I got of the bus after school.   But something really sad about all of my characteristics is that no one ever accepted them. My family, and my parents, in particular. They almost always made me feel stupid or ashamed for liking the things I liked.... and as I got older it only got  worse... they constantly made comments like “you’re too old for that stuff” “don’t you wanna get rid of this?” “when will you stop playing with toys and stuffed animals?” “I’m NOT buying you that, that’s ridiculous”   I remember pretty well... Christmas started to be different.  All I wanted was the usual things that made me happy...  And my mom started to try to force fashion/clothes on me. Instead of just getting me the things I wanted for Christmas she would get me the things SHE wanted.  I didn’t give a CRAP about fashion or clothes... all I wanted was my toys and stuffed animals and art-the things that made me happy.   I actually remember my grandma trying to enforce this on me as well.  Both her and my mom would try to make me worry so much about my appearance, looking attractive, dressing girly/pretty, etc. That I actually went through a tomboy phase and wanted nothing to do with “girly” clothes at all. It was like my own personal boycott against them.   But this took a turn for the worst.  I got bullied a lot in elementary and some in middle school because everyone told me I was so ugly and no one liked me or wanted to be friends with me.   And after years of this, around 7th grade I got really into makeup (I still wore boy-ish clothes of course) but I got really into makeup because the way that my own family members and peers treated me... made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. And the only way I knew to change that was to change the way I looked.  Lack of acceptance from peers is one thing, but the utter lack of acceptance from my own family is what caused me to spiral into uncontrollable depression and anxiety.   I’ve spent years feeling ashamed for how I am.  And I spent a good portion of my teens trying to bury it because friends my age didn’t understand either and we’re always so concerned with appearing “mature” and “cool”.   I thank God I have a loving boyfriend who accepts me... but even his friends don’t understand me fully and will even give me weird looks or say rude things because they think I’m stupid or childish.  And let me tell you, not being accepted by your boyfriend’s friends, hurts a lot.   But I’ve gotten to the point I don’t care.-I mean.. kinda? I’m ehh.. I’m just.... highly sensitive and just about everything bothers me to the point I’ll fall into a deep depression for weeks at a time over ONE thing that someone said...   I have a problem with fixating on things for way too long.   (Oh, also I just realized I said I don’t owe anyone an explanation but here I am explaining myself) oh well.   Something else I wanted to mention is sensory overload because I know that’s something a lot of people with Asperger’s deal with. And so do I.   I always thought I was just a brat about certain things or something... but the vacuum cleaner would ALWAYS tick me off or make me super anxious. Every time my mom or dad would start to pull it out I was say “please DON’T” and I’d literally cry or just take myself outside. I always hated when they played loud music as well or had the volume turned up too loud on the tv.  And I always tend to think people are yelling when they’re not. I remember getting in trouble a lot by my parents because I would tell them to be quite. And it’s not like I was telling them what to do, (because I obviously have no place I AM the child) but I always said it nicely or in a scared manor like “please don’t be loud, please don’t yell” and ironically that’s something they did a lot. My parents went through an almost-divorce when I was younger and all they constantly did was fight and yell and punch holes in the walls and all kinds of stuff.... which was severely triggering to me. As you could imagine.   So when I got older... like preteen (of course I was going through hormones) but also I was just learning not to let everyone walk all over me... or constantly fight and yell... so I reached a point where I was seen as a “bad kid” because I would yell right back... I just got tired of being yelled at and feeling so scared. I mean when I was little I would literally say “sorry! sorry! sorry! sorry! sorry! sorry!” extremely fast anytime I thought I had done something wrong.  But when I hit my preteens/teens I was done with being a doormat. My anger had built up tremendously for years and I would fight and yell with my parents so much that I would have panic attacks and pull my hair out and punch myself in the face. Unfortunately, I even went through years of self harm/cutting.   But you have to realize, a lot of the things I was fighting with my parents about... started with them. And it was usually something very ridiculous like me leaving a ziplock bag in the fridge open or leaving the light on... and I was blamed for everything. I WAS the scape goat.  Which made what I was going through even more difficult.  They never once tried to get me the help I needed.   They never once tried to sit down and listen to me.  My voice did not matter in the slightest.   In fact, I feel like they knew there was something wrong with me. But they were too embarrassed to take me to get help in fear of being the parents with the “disabled” kid.   Also not to mention my mom mocked me a lot. She would call me retarded when she got mad. Or she would scream and say she couldn’t stand me and that I’m the worst kid in the world.  And she would also call me ugly and laugh at me and say that I had Asperger’s. And when I was younger I didn’t even know what Asperger’s meant. In my adolescent head I thought “Ass burgers? What in the world is that?” Which made me believe it was just some funny term my mom made up to call me when she was mad. So sometimes I kinda laughed to.  Until I was older, I didn’t realize how sick she was for that.  I’ve had to do so much research on my own that it’s ridiculous.  I’ve had no one to help me but myself and my boyfriend.  And I’m struggled more now as an adult then I ever did as a child.   I have to go to a therapist or psychologist of some kind to get this sorted out.  I’m kinda scared to face my own reality... but then again it will be the validation I’ve so strongly needed my whole life.  It will give me answers I think.... and maybe it will relieve some of my guilt.   I feel like if I go get evaluated I won’t feel so ashamed anymore.  I’m so sorry this was such a long post but one of the things I do to cope is come to Reddit for support and see if I can make friends or at least talk to people who understand what I’m going through.   I appreciate anyone and everyone who can share with me some words of advice or share with me their story.  Thank you ♡",-0.9883,negative,confident
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,listener_1,2,"I could relate to almost everything you just said But my story is different I was a ""normal"" kid the only thing was that whenever I talked to someone I would rapidly blink to avoid seeing the person I was talking to, and my parents thought it was funny so bc of that I ended up having no social skills whatsoever and then in highschool my teacher of psychology told me I was very much likely to have Asperger's, and a lot of things that I did when I was younger suddenly made sense and surprisingly no one in my class though of me differently even after that class, so probably you just got unlucky, the only thing they thought before the teacher said that I may have Asperger's was that I was a potential psychopath",-0.1901,negative,embarrassed
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,3,"Yeah it’s kinda like that for me too when I talk to someone accept I don’t blink a lot... I just look away from them when I’m talking.  Almost like I’m talking to some invisible thing all the way across the room. I hate eye contact so much. So I just look around a lot. Like I went to this one therapist and instead of looking at her while I was talking I’d look out the window (which by the way was a teenie tiny sliver of a window anyway so it wasn’t much of a window) and she noticed that I was doing it so she literally got up and closed the shades like wow..... very disrespectful. As a therapist she should have known that’s a thing people do when they are uncomfortable or have trouble speaking to others.  I haven’t been back since.  I’m looking into therapy still, just someone better.",0.8724,positive,embarrassed
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,listener_1,4,Well Asperger is some sort of autism so that's that,0.2732,positive,neutral
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,5,"Yeah I know, I think a lot of people don’t realize that",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,listener_1,6,"Uh, nothing, it was fun talking to you, good bye",0.0511,positive,wishing
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,7,Think what is another mental disorder?,-0.4019,negative,questioning
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,8,It’s okay you can explain I’m not gonna get upset,0.4738,positive,acknowledging
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,listener_1,9,"Well I meant that they may think Asperger isn't related to autism, and I said good bye bc I was going to go to bed",0.6124,positive,devastated
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,10,"Ohhh yeah I know exactly what you mean. A lot of people seem to think it’s something unrelated out on its own.  And oh okay goodnight to you, thank you for speaking with me ^.^",0.6808,positive,agreeing
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,11,"I never intended on it. They are my pride and joy, my love and passion. All I ever intended on doing is dropping the people out of my life who can’t accept it. And that’s awesome that you’re 23! ^.^  I like hearing of older people who still hold onto their childhood things. -I’ll probably never get rid of mine. (Not that I don’t keep adding onto the collection hehe)   And yeah ahah I feel like I need a lot of support. I currently don’t have a job because the environment in general scares me so much. I worked where my boyfriend does for a short period of time (because I thought him being there would make me feel safe but that’s just not the case) after being subjected to the chaos and social environment after only a little under a month, I completely cracked.   I fear that things will just be too overstimulated for a while.   In a sense, I feel like I need to heal first before even thinking about a job. Or maybe just finding a job/way of making money that isn’t too much of a threat to my system.   And yeah, unfortunately.... I have mommy issues -.- I have daddy issues as well but ehh what can ya do? My mom is quite the narcissist so I’m not close with her at all. And me and my dad just never really were close or spoke a lot to each other and if so, it was just him yelling at me or being critical of something.   I feel like I’m having to “re-parent” myself. And it’s an actual thing, if you haven’t ever heard of it, look it up.  A lot of people have had to do it once they hit adulthood. Because for me, it wasn’t until then, that I truly realized how much neglect I endured.  And thank you so much. ♡ I hope so too. Hopefully something will work out for me and I can finally feel comfortable being myself.  Thanksxx",0.966,positive,sentimental
642,MentalHealthSupport,Asperger's.,speaker,12,Exactly. That’s how children should always be treated!! ❤️❤️ Regardless of what they’re dealing with. That’s why I’m so excited to have kids some day because I’ll give them everything I never got!! 🙌🏼❤️🙌🏼   Thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot. 😊,0.938,positive,grateful
643,MentalHealthSupport,I did something stupid.,speaker,1,"Last night things went really bad because i had an anxiety attack plus suicidal thoughts and urges. I just became generally violent due it. I tried my best to distract myself by going downstairs to my dog, go back upstairs to look at the stars or to sleep but nothing worked and i became only more and more restless. It gotten so intense that i started slamming my head against the wall and scratching myself open so it alerted my mother to wake up and get into my room. She held me down and made me focus on my breathing but the fact she were holding me down made me freak out even more, i had to claw into my own hair and the wall to avoid actual doing psychical harm to her. I could barely control it. I got myself tired and gladly passed out but now that I'm awake i still feel the intense sadness but also guilt. I don't even dare to go downstairs and look them into the eye. My stupid ass also already texted two of my friends who i genuinely cared about that i won't be on this earth for long cause i just hate everything. I'm just scared and I'm afraid i disappointed everyone. I can't even kill myself in this house because they put all the dangerous objects out of sight. I just don't know what to do.",-0.9919,negative,terrified
643,MentalHealthSupport,I did something stupid.,listener_1,2,"Hold on. Remember this, you are not alone here. You controlled yourself last night so you wouldn’t hurt your mother and it worked. You care about her and so does she. I’d recommend you talking to her before you try and do something dangerous or hurting yourself again.     It’s gonna be okay, just hang in there. You are not alone.",-0.0986,negative,trusting
643,MentalHealthSupport,I did something stupid.,speaker,3,"That's what I've always done earlier but it were useless cause she started propting to take a higher dose of medication while the psychologist said that she had to call emergency services and they'll look how it'll be further. And that's a problem; i want to live but not like this, not with these surroundings. And how more times calling out for help sounds useless how more stupid things I'll do to distract myself. I'm on the edge of running away",-0.9677,negative,apprehensive
643,MentalHealthSupport,I did something stupid.,listener_2,4,"do not run away, trust me, you will regret it in the long term.  Remember that your family only want to help you, and that they care about you very very very much!!!",0.3765,positive,agreeing
643,MentalHealthSupport,I did something stupid.,listener_3,5,"Hang in there. I've been there, got the scars and the hospital records. Life will not always be like this; with the right meds and the right help, life can be worth living.  I got where I wanted to run away; from people, from my surroundings, even from myself. It got bad, and I ended up detained in hospital on a treatment order. But, and this is a HUGE but, I finally got the right help and now I'm living my best life.  Please just hang in there and accept the help. It feels like it will never get better, but it can and it does.",0.9722,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,1,"Due to having an abusive father during my whole childhood, it has caused me to develop mental problems such as anxiety and depression.  Thankfully, my anxiety has improved with intensive counselling and child services making sure that I don't have to see that bastard of a man.  However, my depression has gotten worse.  The weird part about my depression is that it happens irregularly.  I'll be happy for like 2 months and then sad for 3, it varies.  I don't understand how I can be overly happy and then plunge into a deep depression.  But that's not what's making me realise that I don't deserve to be alive.  I don't deserve to be alive because I am a horrible person.  I'm not asking for sympathy, it's the truth.  I'm a terrible person.  I constantly pick fights with my family only.  Not my friends for some reason, just my mum, stepdad and sister.  That's fucked up and disgusting, I know.  How can I be horrible to the people who have been here for me during my hardest times?  I'm easily aggravated by anything, I'll get into a horrible mood and cuss and take my frustration out on people.  When I get into an argument, it's like I can't control my temper.  There's a moment where I disconnect from myself.  I start saying such horrible things until I leave my younger sister in tears, to the point where she won't even talk to me at the moment.  We always argue, and this triggers me slightly.  I feel like we will never get along, we can't be together for even ten minutes before a stupid fight breaks out.  She still sees my abusive 'dad', and she loves him even though he treats her like fucking shit.  He never makes time for her, ever.  So often in an argument, I bring him up, and sometimes she'll bring up something I'm insecure about. This drives me to the edge and insults fly out of me easily before I even realise what I've said.  I hate my 'dad' and his side of the family with PASSION.  I hate him because of what he's done to me, but I hate myself even more knowing that I've become my worst nightmare.  I've become the person that I hate the most, even if I don't want to admit it.  If I wasn't alive, my family would be happier without me ruining their lives every time with my fucked up temper.  So for now, I hide away in my bedroom, because whenever I do see them, I ruin everything and make people upset or angry.  Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar.  **How can I cope with my anger, before it destroys me?**  If I can't cope, I'm going to do what I should've done ages ago: end my life.  I'm just a burden anyway, it wouldn't matter if I left. Sorry for unloading all my bullshit onto here, if anyone even bothers reading this, jesus christ you're a good fucking person.  I'm not sure if I'm even worth helping.    Other boring info that no one probably cares about lmao: My old therapist left the school, and my new one is shit.  She's never available when I need her most, and I just feel like when we do have therapy, it's a waste of time.  Whenever I have a bad week where I feel depressed or angry, she's never available for me to see, which results in me trying to resolve my mental problems myself.  As you can guess, it doesn't fucking work.  It results in me pushing my problems far away into a corner of my mind, praying that they won't resurface.  They always do.  There are no other therapists available in my area either (that's not an exaggeration).I'm failing all my exams (no matter how much work I put in) and GCSEs are around the corner.  I'm useless, what's the point anymore.",-0.9993,negative,sad
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_1,2,"You deserve to be alive, whether you realize it or not. I believe you do need to find a psychologist out of school, and tell him everything. Don’t kill your self, please. I know you deserve life",-0.2023,negative,faithful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,3,"thank you, but my family have tried everything, there are no psychologists available in my area, they're all booked.. I just wish I wasn't such a fucking asshole.  I make my family's life so hard even when I promise to be nicer",0.7906,positive,sympathizing
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_1,4,"Keep on working on it. Don’t give up, and don’t listen to those voices telling you to. Have you tried things like meditation?",0.3612,positive,questioning
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,5,"i've been recommended it, that sounds like a great idea!  thank you so much!!! <3 i'll try to prevent arguments with a warning and maybe go meditate after to avoid staying in a bad mood (:",0.6776,positive,acknowledging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,6,"you're a great person, thank you <3 you're right, i should use my past to my advantage and learn from it.  I try to learn from it, but I find that i often fuck up.  i think maybe if i learned to defuse any arguments asap maybe i wouldn't get into as many problems and upset so many people.",-0.9091,negative,acknowledging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_2,7,"Fuck ups happen but that’s ok. Sooner or later you’ll find a way that suits you best. Like I’ve said I have no experience with what you have gone through but when I argue with my sister, I just talk with a calm tone and if she is the louder one then I just take myself to my room. But before this I’d just raise my voice which would then bring my mum into it and then I’d lose the argument because then my mum would get upset and I could only blame myself",-0.8151,negative,ashamed
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_1,8,Sounds like a great idea! I believe in you,0.784,positive,trusting
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,9,"thank you so much, i'm almost in tears haha it means a lot knowing that a stranger took time out of their day to help me, you're a great person (:",0.9276,positive,acknowledging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_1,10,"No problem friend :) I’ve struggled a lot with mental health, and helping people others through this is helping a lot. I’d recommend you try as well. Not only do you help others, but as I said, it’s helping me to get over my stuff as well :)",0.9315,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,11,"I have actually been trying to help others on this subreddit, and it has been helping knowing that i may be helping others (: i feel grateful sometimes to have experienced what i have so that i can share my experiences and help others, even when i don't feel too great.  When I give advice to others about staying alive, it makes me remember why i should keep trying.  Definitely keep helping others <3",0.9607,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,12,"are you two closer now? i've always wanted to be bffs with her, but i feel like we've never clicked without arguing :/",0.4873,positive,questioning
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,13,"this is so helpful, thank you!  I completely relate to the raising voice stuff, and i'll try keeping my composure and defuse the argument before i lose my temper. i just hope i find a way to defuse it, because when i try to, my sister (younger than me) does this annoying thing where she goes ""oKaY"" and then whispers an insult under her breath, or avoids talking to me :/",-0.7665,negative,acknowledging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_1,14,"I will, and I hope you will too. So long, and keep up the good work!",0.7263,positive,encouraging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_2,15,"With a situation like that, just remind yourself that she is much younger than you and that’s her own way of ‘winning’ the argument. Just show your mum and stepdad that you’re the mature one and walk away. Don’t make a point of you walking away, just do it without saying anything and they will soon pick up on it, even your sister will and she will realise that these whispers don’t piss you off anymore Let her have the last word and once you do the argument will end, because if you both want the last word then you’re just as bad as eachother",-0.6808,negative,neutral
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_2,16,"Me and my sister clash from time to time. It’s mainly due to cleaning, she’s older than me yet she isn’t the cleanest and I mainly start the arguments as  my dad works long hours and my mum works not as long. But when my mum comes home the last thing I want her to do is clean up after my sister. Apart from that I can’t fault my sister, we get on quite well",0.3998,positive,annoyed
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,17,"thank you so much! i will definitely try walking away from her and just be the bigger person by letting her have the last word.  i really want us to be super close, i hope that one day we can be, if i don't let my temper get the better of me",0.9525,positive,agreeing
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_2,18,"Hopefully within time you two will find something you both can agree on. Maybe next time you’re out just treat her to a drink or something from the shop nearby, I know it sounds weird and that might not be how you are but just getting her a little something now n then might change how the next argument plays out. Without realising she might start to retreat a little and not feel the need to have the last say in everything",0.5499,positive,suggesting
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,19,thanks so much!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,20,"this website is amazing! my recent therapist hasn't helped me mentally, but this has so many online courses for me to tap into, thank you!!!",0.7794,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,21,"oh my gosh your kind words brought me to tears! thank you! i find it insane how you managed to see through me and recognise something as simple as a creative side to me without even knowing me as a person.  the fact that you even recommended a website and reminded me that i am entitled to life really touched me, thank you!!!  I have been feeling lost recently so i will 100% be sure to check out that website, i do have some issues with loving myself, so it will be very beneficial.  You're clearly a great person, thanks for seeing some good in me when others people can't, it means the world to me <3 keep helping others :)",0.9888,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,listener_3,22,"Well now I'm crying damn it! Haha, thanks for your kind words, it means a lot to me. I struggle with depression too, so hating myself and feeling like I don't deserve life is very familiar. The irony is that I can say these things to you, but can't quite say it to myself yet. I'm like half way through the inner pathways course, I'm seeing a therapist, and trying really hard to work on myself. We can do it!!",0.3309,positive,sentimental
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,23,"fuck yes we can do it!!! thank you for re-installing hope within me haha. i 100% relate to the irony part, literally an hour ago i was trying to help others with their problems too even when i can't say it to myself yet.  i'm so grateful that you've introduced me to the inner pathways course, i'm already loving the idea and lay out!  Keep uplifting people and doing what you do best (:",0.9742,positive,agreeing
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,24,"That’s so kind, thank you. I tend to easily fall into a very dark tho king spiral easily, and Reddit has managed to steer me away from it slightly with such amazing advice, so thank you! I think it’s a great idea to take one thing at a time, I’ll try working on it :) keep helping others!!! <3",0.98,positive,grateful
644,MentalHealthSupport,I don't deserve to be alive.,speaker,25,"you're a great person, thank you <3",0.765,positive,acknowledging
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,1,"Okay so I completely understand that no one can diagnose me, but I was wondering if any bipolar people could help me out?  I'll list how I've been feeling, let me know what you think:  1) I'm easily aggravated by anything, which results in me flying into a rage/cussing/taking my anger out on people  2)  I have suffered with anxiety and depression due to an abusive 'dad'.    3) I don't take criticism well, and tend to become easily offended   4) I'll be extremely happy for a short period of time, and then sad for a longer period of time  5) My mood is constantly changing and at times unpredictable  6) I tend to online shop when feeling overly happy (which isn't always a great idea lmao)  7) I've been thinking about sex more than usual, and I'm not sexually active with anyone ???  8) I tend to prefer staying alone at times.  I'm an extroverted person, but during the holidays I lock myself away in my room.  my parents always complain about how they never see me.  Sometimes I deliberately stay in my room in order to avoid arguing/hurting people.  9) During my sad periods I lose interest easily in everything  10) I'm either sleeping too much or not enough  11) Sometimes in arguments, I speak before I think and offend my family  12) I'm extremely argumentative (if you couldn't tell)  13) I feel this burning rage inside of me when I'm angry, and i just want to rip someone in half or some shit like that  **Let me know what you think, I'd appreciate some guidance..**",-0.9864,negative,suggesting
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,listener_1,2,"Yeahhh, definitely sounds very like that you have bipolar disorder. Do you know of anyone else in your family like with a history of mental illness?",0.3804,positive,agreeing
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,3,"do you know if there's a way to get tested for it? would i go to a therapist or something? i've taken many online tests which tell me that i'm in the high spectrum of bipolar disorder, but obviously i can't rely on that for a definite diagnosis.",0.2869,positive,questioning
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,4,"i think that my 'dad' who was abusive may have been bipolar, or a sociopath.  there are times when i've wondered if my sister was bipolar too, but i lash out more than her recently, which leads to to believe that it may have been due to nurture rather than nature?",0.128,positive,suggesting
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,listener_1,5,"Definitely talk to your doctor, and see a therapist. They will give you a mood test, discuss your symptoms, and go from there. I know it can be rough, especially in the beginning, but it gets better once you get a diagnosis and can actually know what it is your treating, and therefore start your treatment plan.",0.6908,positive,agreeing
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,6,Thanks so much! Hopefully my therapist can give me a test,0.7327,positive,encouraging
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,7,"Thanks so much, what is bipolar two, and how many scales are there if you don’t mind me asking?",0.4404,positive,questioning
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,listener_2,8,"I'm not sure how many types there are. Type 1 is the typical ""bipolar"" with huge manic upswings and very little time in the low depression stages. Type 2 is where you don't have the full manic phases, you have hypomanic days instead. Hypomania isn't quite as ""high"" as mania, and you don't do drastic things to the extent that manic people do. I still get pretty ""high"" and full of myself, thinking I'm damn near invincible, buy things I don't need at high costs, and don't sleep for days on end. With type 2, we get the lowest of the lows more often than not. Our depression phases last for months or even years for some people. I am medicated, but I'm transitioning meds right now so (yay) I get to experience everything at a heightened rate right now. The meds mellow me out and I can actually focus and not be a zombie when depressed, and they bring me to the ground when I'm feeling too up (high). Hope this helps! There are more types but these are the only 2 that I can accurately describe.",0.8981,positive,anxious
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,9,"thanks so much!  I relate to the type 2 definitely more, however, my depression stages are weird.  They can last two weeks to about 3 months.  Usually if it's monthly, i vary between intense happiness and then intense sadness.  Is that normal or would you say it's because every person is different mentally?",0.3671,positive,questioning
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,listener_2,10,"It varies for sure. It's a whole spectrum of emotions and even then, the intensity of the emotions vary. Usually if you're in either extreme, you feel every emotion to its fullest extent. That's another key identifier for bipolar (any type.)",0.3182,positive,agreeing
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,11,"oh okay, thanks so much for the information!  it's been so helpful to talk to someone with bipolar 2, really means a lot <3",0.8275,positive,acknowledging
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,listener_2,12,"Anytime! I try to do what I can to help lol. There's a bipolar2 subreddit, too! That may help you out.",0.8309,positive,acknowledging
645,MentalHealthSupport,Am I bipolar?,speaker,13,"oh i didn't know that, should've known haha. you've seriously helped me out, thank you!!! <3",0.6884,positive,acknowledging
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,speaker,1,"Okay I'm making this post as a rant for myself because I have no one to turn to.  I don't expect sympathy or comments or reddit fame or whatever.  I just need to get it out my system because I am beyond fucking pissed.  Some of you may have seen my post titled 'I don't deserve to be alive'.  The feedback that was given to me was overwhelming and very touching.  I was feeling great after all the support, unstoppable almost (sounds cheesy, I know) and now it's gone to fucking shit.  I'm shaking with anger.  I managed to bite my tongue this time but feel I want to fucking scream until my vocal chords break.    My mum is a very strong, independent woman.  She's never had it financially easy in life.  She has always tackled any problem thrown her way with ease, and never got upset about it.  So when I tell her about my mental problems, she doesn't understand.  She doesn't believe that I can be mentally unwell as a teenager, and thinks it's all in my head.  When I told her I had depression, she said nothing.  Apart from: 'I feel like I've failed as a mum' and then left.  But the truth is, its the other way around.  I've failed her as a daughter.  How can I be her child and be so fucking weak?!  She's probably been through more shit than I have and she's never once broken down.  Why am I not like her?  Why can't I be good enough???  I understand my mum may be frustrated because she doesn't understand mental health issues, but I wish she would just hug me and say it's all right, instead of fucking reprimanding me when i told her today that I was doing some online therapy instead (because i'm on holiday atm and my counsellor is literal shit.)  I took the time out of my fucking day to do those online classes for HER and MY FAMILY because they're always reminding me how rude I am.  I am rude, they're not wrong.  But I was doing it FOR THEM and she has the fucking nerve to say 'Oh so we're going back to this again?'  Why couldn't she just be supportive and say 'oh that's good' ?!?!?  On top of that, she always brings up one of my insecurities DESPITE HOW MANY TIMES I'VE ASKED HER NOT TO.  She always brings up my fucking exams and my revision.  And when I call her out for ringing up something that she knows will trigger my anger (/possible bipolar) she starts victimising herself, and saying things like, ""oh okay!  Let's just put the blame ALL on me then, shall we?!""  I feel like a failure at school.  Another reason why I know that I'll never be good enough.    When I go back to school (which is very soon) I'll have less than a year before I do my GCSEs.  (GCSEs are english exams that are very important, for those of you who don't know.)  My mum isn't exactly that strict on GCSEs.  She would prefer for me to get a B for maths and science, but would be okay if i were to get a C (because I'm a stupid fucking idiot.)  But I failed my practise exams so fucking badly.  What hurts the most is knowing that i put so much effort in the WHOLE YEAR!  My school was giving me endless praise/awards for how well I was doing.  But for some reason, it didn't pay off.  I'm beyond stressed and scared shitless for these exams.  I fear that I won't pass them.  If I don't pass them, I can't guarantee staying alive much longer.  It sounds dramatic, but i genuinely believe that I will lose all hope.  I feel like a disappointment.  The worst part is, I can't even explain to her how i feel without her shutting me off.    I'm making her sound like the worst mum ever in this post, what a shitty daughter I am.  To tell the truth, she's the best fucking mum in the whole entire world.  She works her ass off and does so much for us.  She has been the only stability throughout my abusive home life with my 'dad'.  But she just doesn't understand me, and it hurts.  Bad.  I feel isolated from my family, and if you saw my last post, I feel like I should just stay in my room all day.  All I do is make people's lives fucking misery.  I just piss my family off, and they piss me off.  I have this internal fiery rage that is eating me up alive and i just want to die.  Okay that was dramatic, I'm aware, but expressing my words through creative writing in a sense does help me.  I'm fucked up, i'm aware (:   I wish I was a better daughter.  Or better yet, I wish I wasn't fucking alive.  I make their lives misery.  My stepdad sort of understands because he dealt with bipolar depression, but we aren't exactly on the best terms after I upset my sister (because I'm a shitty person, yay!!!)  I'm not expecting a ton of sympathy, because I should be a stronger person.  This is my fault, I don't deserve to be alive, I don't.  If you made it through this shit storm, congratulations!  I have no idea why you chose to read through all of this, so thanks haha.  here's the **free therapy website** that someone recommended for anyone who is interested: [https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/path-player?courseid=share-teens&unit=5cbfaabfc29c0b7e298b45acUnit](https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/path-player?courseid=share-teens&unit=5cbfaabfc29c0b7e298b45acUnit)",-0.9981,negative,angry
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,listener_1,2,"Neither of you have failed. There is *no failure* and *no blame*, depression is an illness and it can affect *anyone*.  Would you feel like a failure if you had epilepsy? Same thing.  Please believe me, it's nobody's fault. It's just a shit hand that some of us get dealt. Over time you'll get better at dealing with it and it will get easier.",-0.9062,negative,questioning
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,speaker,3,"thank you so much for your kind words, i just always feel like a complete failure.. i might try to get my step dad to talk to my mum and see if he can get her to understand.",0.6249,positive,acknowledging
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,speaker,4,"i might talk to my step dad about it again, and see if he can have a conversation with my mum as he ca get through to her better than i can apparently",0.4404,positive,suggesting
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,listener_2,5,"If you can’t get it through to her, don’t blame yourself. Stay safe, please. If you ever need to, please message me",0.6249,positive,consoling
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,listener_1,6,"Depression has that effect. It convinces you that you're worthless, a failure, stupid, no good... but it's all lies, and it's all part of the illness.  Having your step-Dad on side sounds like an excellent plan.",-0.7143,negative,apprehensive
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,speaker,7,"thank you, yet again.  I'll try <3",0.3612,positive,wishing
646,MentalHealthSupport,I wish I was a better daughter.,speaker,8,"thank you, i needed to hear that.  I really can't wait for the day where i don't feel like an absolute failure in life :)",0.0232,neutral,neutral
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,speaker,1,"Check out my post history for some background.  Ever since I've moved to a new city to attend college, life has been such a rollercoaster. I thought this would be a fresh positive start, but I'm not too sure anymore.   So, I made quite a bit of friends after moving here, and while I do enjoy their company, at times I feel so very excluded. They'll make plans to go places in front of me, and still not invite me. I always feel like a filler/expendable friend, in the sense that if I weren't there nobody would give a fuck. Some people even seem mildly annoyed with me.  I don't understand why, I do believe I have a pleasant disposition albeit a little awkward, and I've not had fights with anyone. I feel uninvited and unwanted. Should I ditch these people and live the loner life or should I give it more time? This tears me up. I feel horrible at the end of the day when I return home from college.  To cope with this I've even started smoking despite being a critic of ciggies for years.  Thanks for reading.",0.5345,positive,lonely
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,listener_1,2,">They'll make plans to go places in front of me, and still not invite me.  Could you try coming up with something fun to do and invite people, rather than wait to be invited? You might have to try a few times, but I bet eventually you'll get some people to join in on something.",0.6159,positive,suggesting
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,speaker,3,"I do make plans and sometimes they tag along, but I almost feel like whenever I join them for any minor event, it's because I happened to be there.",0.6841,positive,content
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,listener_1,4,"I wouldn't give up yet - keep trying. It takes time to form new friendships.  Also, if you have any hobbies, you might be able to find a group of club on campus that will introduce you to a new circle of people. Having a common interest might help form friendship more quickly.",0.8807,positive,hopeful
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,speaker,5,"Cool, I'll try and stick around.",0.3182,positive,acknowledging
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,speaker,6,Thank you so much,0.3612,positive,wishing
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,speaker,7,Much thanks,0.4404,positive,wishing
647,MentalHealthSupport,Should I embrace the loner life again?,listener_2,8,"of course, anytime! i wish you all the best, and reddit is always here for you if you need! (:",0.893,positive,wishing
648,MentalHealthSupport,Why Can't I be Happy? Am I Busted?,speaker,1,"For those who've seen the show ""BoJack Horseman"", the character I relate most to is Diane Nguyen. The ""misunderstood intellectual"" who tries to be the moral compass of her friends yet borders of hypocritical and is also incapable of finding happiness. I too struggle to be happy yet try to help my friends despite some hypocrisy I wish I could distance myself from.  One scene from the show that stood out to me was the advice Diane received from the character Stafani Stilton who said ""*You know what your problem is? You hold everyone to an impossible standard, including yourself. It's super helpful for writing hot-take shakedowns and click-bate take-downs, but totally toxic for your personal life and internalized sense of self worth. The world is unforgiving enough as it is, the least we could do is find a way to forgive each other and ourselves*.""   This hit home for me. I realized that I hold myself, my friends, my girlfriend, my family and even my coworkers and strangers on the street to a standard that can never be satisfied. Because even if others and/or myself manage to improve, the bar simply gets lifted that much more.   I believe this comes from a fear of failure and the extreme outcomes that I've conditioned myself to believe comes from failure (financial instability, homelessness, etc). This makes me want near absolute certainty that everything I do will work out, otherwise, I hesitate to move and I become miserable at even the mildest inconvenience and too focused on materialism. I'm constantly comparing myself to people on social media and/or my friends who seem to be doing well, even if the jobs they have are pretty much killing their health, I can only see the results (a nice house, stable income, the illusion of 'status').   ​  How can I work to get out of this mentality?",0.8467,positive,impressed
648,MentalHealthSupport,Why Can't I be Happy? Am I Busted?,listener_1,2,"I completely understand your struggle!  I think that these tips would help you in the long run:  1) delete social media/take a break from it. social media is very detrimental to a person's health.  Remember that what you see online is only a fraction of someone's life, so usually on social media, many people lie and over exaggerate their wealth/lifestyles in order to impress others.  2) i would recommend getting therapy.  self love and self care is hard to learn, but learn to love yourself first.  A great free online therapy course a fellow redditer sent me is: [https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/path-player?courseid=share-teens&unit=share-teens\_1554304690885\_0Unit](https://innerpathways.learnworlds.com/path-player?courseid=share-teens&unit=share-teens_1554304690885_0Unit)  if you would rather do something online/cheaper (:  3) remember that it's okay to not be okay.  we can't always be happy, it sucks, i know.  4) when you feel yourself thinking about how someone/something could be 'better', try to not entertain this thought.  tell the thought that \*random person\* IS good enough, and so are you!  5) take up hobbies that you enjoy/try new things!  going to the gym is great physically and mentally for some.  6) think about what you're doing in life.  if you're working a job that you hate, re consider that choice.  maybe go travelling, and try new things..etc!  Hope that helped, i wish you all the best in life, and remember, that you are perfect just the way you are, please try not to be so hard on yourself <3",0.9944,positive,agreeing
648,MentalHealthSupport,Why Can't I be Happy? Am I Busted?,speaker,3,Thank you so much for your feedback. I've recently begun going to the gym and it does help a lot. I'll look into that link you sent. I really appreciate it.,0.8016,positive,grateful
648,MentalHealthSupport,Why Can't I be Happy? Am I Busted?,listener_1,4,"no problem, any time!  i wish you all the best, you're not busted <3",0.8573,positive,wishing
649,MentalHealthSupport,Did I do the right thing?,speaker,1,"So, context:   After several weeks of going back and forth if I were to be ready to get a new counselor and say good bye to the old one, I've finally did it. But when opening up, i stated i have chronic suicidal ideation -self diagnosed- because I want or passively want to die on a daily basis. Now the question is, did I do the right thing?  I struggle with a multitude of mental health issues, as I'm sure most of us are, but when i opened up to this new Dr who is trying to find a good counselor for me, she suggested going into counseling twice a week because of the ideation. I mean yes once a week I know I need at this very low point but twice? Idk, maybe I'm just being paranoid but I feel like twice is too much.   I also feel like I should open up to the Dr, so I did. But now I'm regretting it as if my brain were to say ""If you don't clean up your act then you'll be sent straight to the hospital"" because of the concerns she had expressed of the ideation. I tried to explain it's not like I have a designated plan and that it's very passive. It's a thought that I know won't happen today and probably won't happen for some time. And it changes on a day to day basis where I'm not having these thoughts.   Idk I'm very worried now and feel like maybe I shouldn't have shared as much as I did. She won't even be my counselor but she has a PhD in Psychology which is why I think I could be over reacting. Idk...  Anything helpful to ease my mind would help a lot. Thank you for reading and for anyone struggling and/or surviving today.",0.2534,positive,trusting
649,MentalHealthSupport,Did I do the right thing?,listener_1,2,Meds could help or weed idk,0.3182,positive,consoling
649,MentalHealthSupport,Did I do the right thing?,speaker,3,"Already smoke (thank you legal state), it's the best. 10/10 recommend but! I still have to work and sometimes can't access my vape pen. So whenever I'm not high or I'm coming down from it, it's when the ideation hits me. Meds... I know I could but I've had a very hard time enjoying the little relief I get due to the side effects like weight gain, lowered libido (which I already have due to medical reasons), and feeling like a zombie. I finally lost 30lbs from Seroquel alone and I'm still not at my goal. It's one if those weigh in options, side effects vs benefits. Personally the side effects tell me more negative than the positive. Like with Lexapro, my side effect was you'll feel better (not so depressed) but with the occasion suicidal thought. Now, I'm just ideating but the actual thought is usually a plan for me.   I did bring up that I smoked on the daily but she still suggested additional medication and to maybe stop smoking. Idk y but maybe because it could be biasism of the plant or she can't advocate due to federal regulations. She didn't specify the reasoning and moved onto another question and I just didn't ask since I don't like to interrupt and I'm usually brain dead at how to ask during the conversation.   Thank you for your feedback! :D",0.9736,positive,apprehensive
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,1,"Hi there. I'm 16 and I'm a junior in high school. Recently, my social anxiety has become so bad that I don't think I can continue. I wanted to go back to school so I'd have a sense of normalcy, but my anxiety won't even let me stand up in class to walk across the classroom for say, a stapler or something. And every night when I lie down to go to sleep, my heart starts pounding and my stomach starts turning just thinking about school the next morning. I've been to doctors but they haven't really put me on any anti anxiety meds and I'm afraid to bring it up to my parents again because they think that if I just read my Bible more, I would be depressed or anxious. I want professional help but I don't even know if it's accessible. I can even go to 3rd period because I'm terrified the teacher will yell at me. He's a scary dude.",-0.9441,negative,anxious
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,2,"I’m also 16 and going into junior year (school starts tomorrow!), and I’ve struggled with anxiety too. Is there a school counselor you can talk to? Especially about 3rd period, if it scares you to go, you could probably switch classes",-0.6996,negative,suggesting
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,3,I've put in a request for a schedule change but my school counselor said I still have to go to class and just deal with it. I will literally hide in the bathroom.,-0.2617,negative,annoyed
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,4,"What you could do is try to email the teacher and tell him what’s going on. Sorry, I’m bad with advice :(",-0.7717,negative,sympathizing
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,5,"It's ok! And yeah I might just email him but ugh if they make me go in there, I'm going to cry.",-0.8197,negative,neutral
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,6,"Remember to take deep breaths to try to stay calm, and try to make sure he understands whats going on. As a teacher, he should understand what’s going on.",0.5574,positive,questioning
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,7,I'm afraid to tell him because I don't think he'll take me seriously and that he'll just say he doesn't care or something.,-0.5152,negative,apprehensive
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,8,"It’s also his job to help students. It’s worth trying, at least",0.5574,positive,proud
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,9,I think one of my friends has him for 1st period so maybe he could talk to him,0.4767,positive,suggesting
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,10,"If he’s willing to do so, and it would make you more comfortable, then that would be a good option",0.7574,positive,acknowledging
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,11,"Yeah I'm,,, big scared",-0.1779,negative,terrified
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,12,Ok. Ask you friend to. May I ask what scares you about him?,0.2023,positive,questioning
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,13,"My first day back at school he was yelling at everyone because they didn't dress out for weight training. And like, I was a few days late into the school year so I'm also really unprepared and I didn't wanna get yelled at too. And so I went to guidance for that first day, and then I was afraid he'd get mad at me for not being in his class and ""skipping"" I guess, and once again, I was still really unprepared clothing wise so I sat in guidance again.",0.3947,positive,apprehensive
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_2,14,Ask a guidance counselor to come with you when you go talk to him. I'm sure they would.,0.3182,positive,trusting
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,15,"Ah, a gym teacher. From my personal experience, they’re really nice people, but have to act a lot tougher and yell to try to get students motivated. Have you gotten proper clothing for weight training?",0.7962,positive,questioning
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,16,No because I wasn't there on the first day and have no clue what to wear,-0.5267,negative,embarrassed
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,17,"Ok. Ask your friend who has him first period. That way, once you get the clothes for it, that’s one less thing that you have to worry about.",0.0772,positive,acknowledging
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,18,Ok :^),0.6486,positive,neutral
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,listener_1,19,"Of you even need anymore help, just pm me, ok?",0.4019,positive,questioning
650,MentalHealthSupport,School anxiety,speaker,20,I had my friend talk to the coach and things went a little better. Still had several breakdowns but the class is ok. Thank you!,0.754,positive,grateful
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,speaker,1,"Hello,  We are currently looking for people to take part in our research study exploring potential protective factors against suicide. You do not have to experience thoughts to take part, as we are interested in the protective factors too.  Link: [https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/finding-protective-factors-against-suicide-1](https://chester.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/finding-protective-factors-against-suicide-1)  Anyone over 16 years of age and fluent in English can take part. If you decide to participate we will ask you to complete an online questionnaire now, and then (if you’re willing to do so) again every month for the next two months. The questionnaire should only take around 20-25 minutes to complete, but you can take as long as you need.  Some of the questions will ask about current mood, any suicidal thoughts or self-harm. If there is a chance that this could be upsetting, there is no obligation to take part and there is always the option to stop the questionnaire at any time. Any answers you give within the questionnaire are completely confidential and anonymous. If you would like to take part, please click the following link. This will take you to the survey and study information page.  Thank you,  Rosie",-0.7876,negative,caring
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,listener_1,2,"i'm 15, would it ruin your study if i were to participate?",-0.5859,negative,questioning
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,speaker,3,"Thank you for your interest in taking part, but we only have ethical clearance for people aged 16+. That said, we may have more studies in future that you would be able to take part in if you'd like to.",0.8873,positive,sympathizing
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,speaker,4,Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,listener_2,5,You’re welcome! :),0.7424,positive,wishing
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,listener_1,6,"don't worry, i didn't do the survey just incase it tampered with the results and i'd technically count as an anomaly, but in the future i'd be more than happy to help out (:",0.9434,positive,neutral
651,MentalHealthSupport,Finding protective factors against suicide: A research study,speaker,7,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,speaker,1,"I have recently realized that I can be kind of selfish. I'm so concerned about my success, finances, comfort, etc. that I struggle with the idea of helping others because I have difficulties with the fear of others being parasitic, taking advantage of me for their own personal gain. I try to be very independent so I also hate asking for help too because I'm worried that help is just a nice word for a debt to someone.  How can I try to overcome this?",0.3057,positive,apprehensive
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,listener_1,2,"The fear of being taken advantage of stems from not trusting yourself. In other words, you don’t feel confident that you won’t be duped or scammed or taken advantage of.   This means you have to work on trusting yourself to make good choices for yourself.  You can also prevent being taken advantage of by laying very clear loving boundaries with yourself and other people.",0.9138,positive,trusting
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,speaker,3,This is such a hard lesson for me to learn; I never thought about me not trusting myself. Perhaps you're right. Thank you!,-0.1154,negative,suggesting
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,listener_1,4,"You’re welcome! If you want help on learning HOW to do that, let me know. :)",0.8516,positive,acknowledging
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,speaker,5,Definitely! That'd be appreciated.,0.7424,positive,agreeing
652,MentalHealthSupport,Practicing Selflessness,listener_1,6,I recommend this free online workshop: www.innerpathways.org   It helped me. :),0.8546,positive,impressed
653,MentalHealthSupport,My mom just told my little brother that she was going to shoot herself,speaker,1,"I'm tired of everything. I've trying to hold the fort for as long as I can, neglecting my own mental health for fucking years. And now when I'm finally making progress with my little brother's mental health (because, surprise surprise, he has issues too) she comes and says this to him. Now he can't fall asleep because he can't stop crying thinking that she's going to kill herself. She told him that she was just kidding to get him to calm down but started yelling when he asked her why the hell would she even say that. She has depression too and things have been hell lately. My grandma got sick, my mom and I take care of her but mostly just my mom because I go to uni. My brother has adhd and anxiety so he's difficult to manage.    She can't actually shoot herself because we don't have access to guns where we live, but of course there are other ways to kill oneself.   She began taking antidepressants just a little over two weeks ago but it hasn't helped.  I'm tired of everything myself. I've been suicidal for months now, just waiting for things to get better so maybe I'll change my mind but nothing fucking ever works. I'm cursed, my entire family is cursed. I must have been Hitler in my previous life to get this muck fucking bad karma. I'm so fucking tired and I can't do this alone. I wish she didn't have us. Why didn't she get an abortion?. We wouldn't be suffering like this. Fuck everything.  I don't even know why I'm writing this. I want things to just end. I want one moment of fucking peace. That's all.",-0.9904,negative,furious
653,MentalHealthSupport,My mom just told my little brother that she was going to shoot herself,listener_1,2,"I'm so sorry you are going through this, I can relate on so many levels.  My mother posted her intentions to tske her life on her Facebook for family, grandkids and all to see.  I began receiving calls from everyone letting me know, and I called 911 to get an ambulance to take her to emergency.  She didn't understand the impact it would have on those who care and are close to her.  She really didn't have any real intentions, it was really a cry for help.  None the less, the overall experience led her to seek help and get into therapy so she has a better grasp of her own mental health now.  I hope you can persevere through this tough time, you have so much to live for, and a brother to help guide through the challenges of life.  If I may recommend getting some help yourself via therapy to navigate through life, its hard, but there is so much to live for.",0.7581,positive,ashamed
653,MentalHealthSupport,My mom just told my little brother that she was going to shoot herself,speaker,3,"I have a hard time seeing this as a cry for help, because she told that to my little brother and what can a 13 yo do to help? I'm defeated and I just want my life to be over. I don't really have anything to live for",-0.2263,negative,sad
653,MentalHealthSupport,My mom just told my little brother that she was going to shoot herself,listener_1,4,"It will get better, hang in there.  I too have been in a place where I have lost hope, but life does get better, take it one day at a time, and remember, your brother needs you more than ever.",0.7269,positive,consoling
654,MentalHealthSupport,Had a good week! Felt less depressed,speaker,1,Now Mr Depression is back,-0.5719,negative,sad
654,MentalHealthSupport,Had a good week! Felt less depressed,listener_1,2,"It’ll come and go but keep positive! You had a good week so it is possible, sending hugs your way",0.9365,positive,hopeful
654,MentalHealthSupport,Had a good week! Felt less depressed,speaker,3,Thank you for the kind words and hug!,0.8516,positive,wishing
654,MentalHealthSupport,Had a good week! Felt less depressed,speaker,4,Took my meds and came to work.  Thank god my colleague is funny and great to work with. I hope I can sleep tonight  I have therapy today -  that’s should help!  Thank you for the words of encouragement!,0.9686,positive,grateful
654,MentalHealthSupport,Had a good week! Felt less depressed,listener_2,5,Yay! Go you!,0.6103,positive,excited
655,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me figure what’s happening,speaker,1,"I don’t even know where to start to be honest.   I suppose I here to find out whether or not someone, who has a massive fear of vomiting (that causes panic attacks), can develop ptsd from a week of food poisoning a vomiting day in day out. This food poisoning happened in July and ever since I cannot think about eating food without getting anxiety, I can’t eat, I’m sick all the time from not being able to eat and the nausea makes the anxiety worse.   I can’t cope anymore. I don’t know what to do. I had to leave work early today because of it.   Please help me",-0.9475,negative,apprehensive
655,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me figure what’s happening,listener_1,2,im not sure what to say ? maybe call your gp or speak to a councillor about it?  maybe try little and often ad hopefully once you start getting the hang of it you will over come that obstacle :(,-0.6152,negative,consoling
655,MentalHealthSupport,Please help me figure what’s happening,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for replying, I know now that I’m not alone in this and abnormal. Can I ask how long it took you to recover? I understand that it’s going to be a tough lengthy process and it’ll be different person to person. And can I ask what did your doctors do to help you? <3",0.7003,positive,questioning
656,MentalHealthSupport,Pondering every aspect of where I’ve gone wrong in my life.,speaker,1,"I’m sitting here listening to the ticking of the timer on my toaster oven, staring at the floor. All I can think about is how I’m such a failure, how I wish I had done this and that differently, if only I didn’t have this as such a disadvantage, I don’t know how anyone could love me, my boyfriend is going to leave me some day once he realizes how shit I am. I’ve been drowning in these negative thoughts, and believe me I am not so naive to actually think that I am where I am because of the cards I’ve been dealt. I am where I am because I am me. I can hear the world outside going on around me. My neighbors are mowing the lawn, the birds are chirping. Sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is go for a walk through the park, and that’s okay. That’s just me getting through another day.",0.175,positive,ashamed
656,MentalHealthSupport,Pondering every aspect of where I’ve gone wrong in my life.,listener_1,2,"Hi! Here's a few tips from my therapist that have made a world of a difference in my life: 1. For a week record the thoughts you have during your days. Are these thoughts of catastrophising (I'm never getting anywhere in life, all is doomed), or self critical (I'm a failure) or thoughts where you are constantly in the past or the future but not in the present,or if they are thoughts where you disqualify all that is positive and focus on negatives. This helped me recognize my thought patterns. Google 'types of negative thoughts' if you feel like you cannot categorize your thoughts by yourself. When you see they fall into certain categories, you will feel less intimidated by them and recognize them for what they are - thoughts and not your identity! 2. Journal. Write down your thoughts because it helps you see things clearly. It helps you dedicate your attention to one thought at a time - unlike what your brain does which is thought after thought before you have even realized how the thought affected you. 3. When dealing with negative thoughts ask yourself: Is this thought helping me? Is it adding value to my life? If I was the most positive person ever, what would I think? If a child felt this way, what would I do to make them feel better? These questions give you perspective as well as let you focus on your core basic needs. 4. You may think is cheesy but bear with me: make a vision/life board. Don't think about obstacles or what you feel is realistic or not. Just, if everything was possible, what would you work, what would your house look like, what kind of relationships would you have, what kind of clothes would you wear etc. It helped me see that although I felt lost in life and as if I wasn't achieving anything I still had goals and wishes deep inside me. It made a huge difference in my motivation.  Don't feel like you need to do all these steps today or within a week. This is a process that takes time. And it's simple enough that it's worth trying. Of course, seek therapy if you can!   Btw, you write in a very descriptive way, I thought the way you presented your mellow mood in this post was very effective from a writing point of view. So there you go, even a stranger on the internet recognized a talent in you, imagine how much more good there is to you! You've got this!",0.9925,positive,apprehensive
656,MentalHealthSupport,Pondering every aspect of where I’ve gone wrong in my life.,speaker,3,"Thank you for this, you know keeping a journal really is not the worst idea. I do feel like it might help keep track of my thoughts. My biggest thing now is I want to buy a house someday and not be struggling every month to pay bills. I can't figure out what to do with my life.",0.9047,positive,hopeful
656,MentalHealthSupport,Pondering every aspect of where I’ve gone wrong in my life.,listener_2,4,"This may seem obtuse, but I'm in that same situation as you, except I'm not. I've been planning on selling my apartment for a pretty amount and just downsizing everything, including moving to a countryside plot of land. Having good fortune in life has taught me nothing else but having the bare essentials in life is what makes a man get up in the morning with a smile. I don't want this penthouse anymore, nor do I wanna live in this hipster douche area of my capital. To a ponderer like yourself, nothing adds value unless the thing you find and enjoy is simple by its nature. Be it that walk in the park or birds chirping.  Let the neighbors and strangers be and stop overthinking every now and then, and instead look forward to tomorrow, or next month and what you can do in that given time to improve your current emotional well-being.  Hell, it took me 15 years of smoking and heavy drinking to realize that in 2 weeks I had quit for good. The process of getting there seemed tedious and pointless, but the benefits sure are good. Plus, I'll always have the autumn of '19 to look back at and remind myself ""oh yeah, I took that right path back then"".  (Mind you, the final nudge needed to quit was a broken leg and undergoing surgery with blood thinner meds for a month. But I'll take that as a positive sign of the Universe being sick of my shit).  And now I'm working towards having less overall stuff in my life. Because stuff equals stress and stress has very little value.  Downsize and stop overthinking, and you'll notice a difference.",0.8588,positive,content
656,MentalHealthSupport,Pondering every aspect of where I’ve gone wrong in my life.,speaker,5,"I've always been interested in the idea of tiny house living, or bus/van conversions. I don't need a fortune or a mansion, I'd just like a future. Nature to be honest is one of the things that gets me through every day, if I had a pig and a decent view I'd be happy as all hell.   With that  being said, it really is the simplest of things that make me happy.. There's just not a whole lot to be all that excited about at this point in my life. Im living back at my dad's house, which is less than ideal & not because of family but because the house is falling apart. I want to build a life of my own.   It would be ideal to be able to get out and see all the beauty of the world, I'd choose traveling over an oversized house any day. I'm finding it hard to see any future at all without a career. I'll figure it out eventually, I know I will. Just struggling to get there.",0.9456,positive,content
657,MentalHealthSupport,May we all feel supported and loved,speaker,1,My mantra for all of us.,0.0,neutral,faithful
657,MentalHealthSupport,May we all feel supported and loved,listener_1,2,"Thanks for sharing.  Just a reminder to all, you may not feel the love, but it's there.",0.1695,positive,sentimental
657,MentalHealthSupport,May we all feel supported and loved,speaker,3,Yes,0.4019,positive,agreeing
657,MentalHealthSupport,May we all feel supported and loved,speaker,4,Yes 🙏,0.4019,positive,agreeing
658,MentalHealthSupport,In crisis about my job and I’m extremely overwhelmed and desperately need support,speaker,1,"TL;DR the business I work for sucks, I’m overworked and treated like crap, and I’m getting no sleep and I’m on the verge of being fired and contemplating my career choice  So I was forced to get a new job by my family since the last one wasn’t working out. I got this new job at a bar, which would be my first bartending job. But they do everything there, there’s no Porters/Slot Tech/Cocktail Waitresses/Cooks, we do all of that on our shift. And there’s several mini bars inside of the casino that I work at besides the one I work at.   I’ve been having problems with some of the guests we get, and also there’s a lot of tweakers trying to bother us on a daily basis, and I am forced to work a Graveyard shift 12am-8am because all people during probationary period have to start like that, and they also have a rule that the First 5 days, you DO NOT make any tips that we’re made that night.  This job has severely affected my mental and physical health... my body feels broken and I’ve been left alone on my shift more times than I can count because of call offs and my other bartender has to go break the other bars because we have short staff. I can’t fucking do this anymore, I CANT. It’s not worth the 8.25 an hour, and it’s been so dead I’ve made maybe $15 the whole damn night the past few nights.   Not to mention on top of all this, I got written up for getting sick and throwing up at work and having to be sent home after I was asked twice to stay, *EVEN WHEN I WAS VIOLENTLY THROWING UP AND SOMEONE SAW ME*  And on top of all this my diet has been extremely shit. My choices of food are fucking slim. I get 2 30 minute breaks, and I have to choose between possibly getting food poisoning from food that’s been sitting there for fucking hours and hasn’t been changed out because they do not have actual staff for their EDR, and Turbochef’d food from my bar, which is expensive and makes you feel like shit after, I would much rather eat Burger King everyday.  And when I get home at 8am I basically have to ignore all my friends, my girlfriend, my family, and my priorities besides work, so I can sleep to do it 5 days out of the week, and my girlfriend comes over to spend time with me anyways and focuses so much on spending time that she doesn’t let me sleep and it’s not her fault, it mostly starts with her being hungry and wants to make food and I usually am starving at that time too. Then my game friends get irritated because I can’t play when they’re on, which is not a big deal and it’s been talked about.   I overslept tonight and woke up at 2:30 because my girlfriend just got off and was confused why I was not at work and my phone was showing I was still at home and she’s worried she hasn’t heard from me since 8pm.   I’ve already had to call off a few times because it’s making me physically sick and I’m exposed to nasty shit, chemicals and cigarettes all day, and I’m on the verge of getting fired  I don’t know where else to go because everyone else is gonna want to start me as a barback and I feel like I’m not gonna get anywhere and I’m so overwhelmed , I hate this FUCKING town and I wanna get out but I’m stuck here because my girlfriend locked into a year contract with work and my mom is too. I still got bills to pay, I haven’t seen a doctor or a therapist because I can’t afford it and I don’t have insurance. I’ve been having fucking terrible panic attacks where I should’ve seen a doctor but I have to “suck it up and work like the rest of us”.  And holyfuck do panic attacks hurt.",-0.9989,negative,apprehensive
658,MentalHealthSupport,In crisis about my job and I’m extremely overwhelmed and desperately need support,listener_1,2,"I would def look else where if possible. Always have something lined up before you quit no matter what. I know it's really difficult and I'm very sorry. Thank you for sharing your feelings and emotions, I'm sure it's even harder to do that.   You're never stuck in a job. I know it may seem that way, trust me. But, there is ALWAYS something else. Maybe a Walmart/grocery store/liquor store, retail, or yeah even BK! My husband worked in a BK for 4 almost 5 years (he was 16 when he started). He loved it, the only problem was the manager but luckily he worked the 2nd shift and didnt get to see him but in passing. I currently work in a university as a janitor. Janitor work is meh but the pay and benefits are great. I started out cleaning a hospital and worked my way up as a desk receptionist then to a lead prior to my current position however, you can't do any drugs if you go that route (even mj, and I live in a legal state). Indeed.com can become you bff in these situations too. Indeed can find all types of jobs for you and help you build a resume if needed.   Those are just some suggestions, just know that it's ok to change careers and it's ok to even start at the bottom some where and work your way up. Nothing is the end except life itself. But, let's not go that route either. It's not worth dying for.   I hope this helps. Sending sympathy and best of luck!",0.9959,positive,sympathizing
658,MentalHealthSupport,In crisis about my job and I’m extremely overwhelmed and desperately need support,speaker,3,I appreciate the feedback and I definitely will take my days off to look into another job possibly a different career,0.6597,positive,agreeing
658,MentalHealthSupport,In crisis about my job and I’m extremely overwhelmed and desperately need support,speaker,4,I’m definitely going to need one,0.4019,positive,agreeing
658,MentalHealthSupport,In crisis about my job and I’m extremely overwhelmed and desperately need support,speaker,5,I’m 100% quitting because they just told me on my day off that I’m going to be working instead because they changed my schedule and I don’t get a day off until Wednesday,0.0,neutral,angry
659,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really guilty,speaker,1,Yesterday I ate a trader Joe's jojo cookie the original are very just like oreos and I assumed the gluten free ones were too but they had egg whites in them and I feel really bad I didn't know till after I ate them and I feel really upset,-0.7461,negative,guilty
659,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really guilty,listener_1,2,"that’s okay! I’m assuming you’re vegan? I’ve been vegan for 5 years and I’ve messed up sooo many times, but that’s okay! It was a mistake, and your intentions were pure. Try not to beat yourself up about it.",-0.3786,negative,neutral
659,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really guilty,speaker,3,I am! I've been vegan for almost a year I'll try not to beat myself up,0.0,neutral,proud
659,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really guilty,listener_1,4,"that’s awesome. You’re doing great regardless, just by doing that for a year!",0.8588,positive,acknowledging
659,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling really guilty,speaker,5,Thank you!!,0.4738,positive,wishing
660,MentalHealthSupport,Saving up school days just in case,speaker,1,"Yeah i know the title is strange but i've been determined this school year to try to be present every single day of school just in case i try to attempt suicide and fail. My school gives kids the opportunity to not take their final exams if they have less than 6 absences for the whole school year and good grades, so if i were to fail i could still possibly not take my final exams and not stress out because if i do then i'd probably want to kill myself even more.",-0.9001,negative,prepared
660,MentalHealthSupport,Saving up school days just in case,listener_1,2,"As we've all heard; No one is perfect, Everyone has a mistake or too many mistakes. It's normal to fail an exam, but you say you're assisting everyday to school, So you're studying in vain!? You know, You have to take risks, Taking a risk doesn't necessarily mean you are going to fail, You could lose, as well as you could win... That's why it's a risk. I know you're under stress, and it's about school—that's the only reason I know rn—if school is really stressful for you, you could drop out of school... Remember you don't need End school to make a living, But if you want to study go to university, You'll have to those risks, like that exam youd like to skip. Take your time, Relax, Think consciously every situation, Think about the ones you love and love you back, About your dreams, what you have Right Now and what you've worked for, How far you've come. I'm with you, DM me if you want... Good luck with that exam 💛",0.9469,positive,angry
660,MentalHealthSupport,Saving up school days just in case,speaker,3,You have a point but school isn't the most stressful part of my life. It's my family but i'm trying hard to balance the two and still be somewhat stable. Thanks for the support.,0.9122,positive,neutral
660,MentalHealthSupport,Saving up school days just in case,listener_1,4,"I'm so sorry for what's happening, but don't you feel alone, Because I'm going through the same, I am also a teenager dealing with a really toxic family. But I swear to you that wanting to suicide because of other people's fault is NOT something that will fix it for YOU, Trust me I wanted to commit suicide too. We all want to be happy, or to have a 'Normal' Family, I'd like to change the way my “family” is, I know you'd like too... But we can't, and we won't pay the consequences of their own actions with OUR lifes. They decided to be that way, but they will not change us, don't Let them change you. You can count on me like a friend, text me if you want, Good luck.",0.9638,positive,sympathizing
660,MentalHealthSupport,Saving up school days just in case,speaker,5,This hit me hard but in a good way. You're right i shouldn't take my own life because they decide to ruin their opportunity to have a happy functional family. Thank you for this <3,0.8873,positive,agreeing
661,MentalHealthSupport,Why I fall in love with people way older than me?,speaker,1,"Facts about me: I'm 20 y female. I had a crush on couple of people (like 5?) Till now and I never confessed. My first love was a female from the same sex as mine and it was in highschool and she was the same age as mine. I started to fall in love with older people on my senior year of highschool when i had a crush on my female teacher. I never confessed to them cuz of religious reasons. Now Im a junior in college and I have a crush on 40 y o married male and he is my first male crush. Of course because he's married i threw my feeling in the trash.  I'm worried. Something is wrong with my and i feel it, I don't feel that it's healthy and right love. Im not close to my parents specially my father I don't have a very good relationship with him, in fact im disgusted of him.",0.8858,positive,ashamed
661,MentalHealthSupport,Why I fall in love with people way older than me?,listener_1,2,"There is nothing wrong with you. You like who you like. The fact that you are mature enough not to pursue someone who is married says a lot about you. You will find your person. They will waltz into your life. Mine did just a few weeks ago, he is 16 years older than I am. Sure we turn heads in public. But we dont care, all we see is each other. You will find your person one day. That person will be the only one you see. And age wont matter (as long as both parties are of legal age, of course).",0.7632,positive,trusting
661,MentalHealthSupport,Why I fall in love with people way older than me?,speaker,3,"Thanks, You made me feel alot better. I hope I find him one day",0.8271,positive,consoling
661,MentalHealthSupport,Why I fall in love with people way older than me?,listener_1,4,"You will. And if it happens like mine, it will be totally unexpected. I wasn't even looking.",0.3612,positive,surprised
661,MentalHealthSupport,Why I fall in love with people way older than me?,speaker,5,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
662,MentalHealthSupport,I have post-abortion depression and it’s the worst feeling ever.,speaker,1,"I already had depression before, but after my abortion it got much more severe. On a level I never knew I could feel.  I don’t know if anyone else feels this way.. but after you have an abortion you just feel and think so differently than you did before.   I mean duh that makes sense because your body was literally going through changes and becoming attached to something within you.  I had my abortion in November of last year, 2018.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year. I’d say a year and 6 months. But it may be closer to two years, we’re not entirely sure because we were lifelong best friends that developed into a romantic relationship so we didn’t really put a specific date on it.   Anyway, at first I felt super sick and I thought that maybe I had the flu or something and my periods are always super irregular anyway so I kinda just shrugged it off. But after a while I started to feel things. My back ached, my stomach cramped in a different way, my period still hadn’t came, I felt really ill, and I became extremely weepy.   I just had this feeling that I was pregnant. I just knew it. So I got a pregnancy test and it confirmed that I was.   I had already been speaking with my boyfriend about the fact I truly thought I was but it wasn’t until after confirming it, that we actually realized how serious the situation was.   So we talked a lot, cried a lot, and kept weighing our options.   It sucked because I absolutely love kids and have wanted to be a mother for so long. My mother never treated me right and constantly neglected me and made fun of me, (along with the majority of my family) and overall she was a psychotic narcissist whom I don’t speak with anymore because she is just toxic to my life in general, but that’s a whole other story. The point is, I’ve always craved motherhood because I want to give my child everything I never have. Support, love, empathy, etc. My boyfriend and I have talked about having kids together for years, and were always excited for our life together in the future and making a family.   But we didn’t expect it that soon. Something I am so passionate about is pro choice and knowing when you are completely ready to have children not only mentally, but financially. I would never want to deprive my kids of their needs. And I would have felt devastated if I couldn’t provide for them and make their life not only enjoyable, but free of that kind of stress.   Me going through a lot at the time, having severe anxiety and depression, did not even have a job. And my boyfriend worked at a local pizza place in our area making only minimum wage. It was obvious to us that we had little to no hope in raising and providing for a child. (Mind you, I was only 19 at the time and my boyfriend was only 18)   So we decided an abortion was the best option.   We called planned parenthood and set up an appointment. The lady told me we had to wait another two weeks, come for the first appointment, then come back in another week or so for the actual procedure.   By that time I was 19 weeks.  In the time waiting, my boyfriend had to work a lot of overtime just to have enough money for the visits.   With the days getting closer to the actual procedure I grew more and more anxious, scared, and all around disappointed in myself that I was even having to go through with this.   The day of the procedure came and everything was honestly a breeze. It was an all women clinic and everyone there was so nice, caring, and supportive. They were even willing to tell me everything they were doing before they did it. Guiding me through every step, making sure I was aware but calm.   After everything was over, I wasn’t upset or really, I didn’t think much at all. Before the procedure in the waiting room they give you something to calm your nerves. Then directly before the procedure they give you an IV (I think I can’t really remember details) that makes you, let’s not use the word high, but just very very calm and relaxed. I guess it would almost be equivalent to the feeling taking a Valium would have on you. (Not that I’ve taken a Valium, just that I know they’re like a sedative drug) Basically, some women even fall asleep. I just didn’t, I just talked to them like I normally would.   After everything is complete, they send you in another waiting room to sit and relax for another hour just to make sure the medicine/drug is completely worn off before you leave to go home. I basically just felt super relaxed and kinda spacey. That’s why I say I didn’t really think much at all.   When I left, my boyfriend was with me of course, and I was just super tired and spacey. I didn’t talk much on the ride home, which is normal I guess. I was kinda just reflecting and taking in everything that had just happened.  All in all, I felt a sense of relief. As do a lot of women afterwards. It’s normal.   And I continued to feel relief and relaxation for the rest of the night and on into the next couple of days because they send you home with medicine to take, so any remaining pain isn’t felt.   For the rest of that month I didn’t cry once nor did I really regret the decision I made.   But after about a full month and a half to two months later, it hit me.   They say any grief is kinda delayed because your body still thinks your pregnant for about a month. So you don’t really feel a sense of loss.  But I guess my body finally realized I wasn’t pregnant anymore because I started to cry every night.   I became weepy and started feeling extreme guilt and sense of loss.   This went on for about a month.  (Let me also mention immediately after my procedure they gave me a birth control implant in my arm called Nexplanon) And I tell my boyfriend to this day I wish I would have waited a month to get the implant because I truly believe the hormones in birth control messed me up even worse and seemed to make it harder for my body and my mind to cope with the situation.   Fast forward to present time, now.  I haven’t stopped feeling grief and post-abortion depression. If anything it’s gotten worse and worse. And the hollowness and longing for motherhood that I feel only gets stronger.   Mind you, a lot of people knew about this and not one of them has called to check up on me or even ask about the situation or ask if I’m okay or how I feel about it all. Including my mother, she knew about it, but has yet to feel the least bit of empathy for me. But that’s expected from her.  I just truly feel so so empty.   I’m very young, I’m only 20. And I know a lot of people may think “how can you be so young and feel this way?” Or some fail to understand why I long for motherhood so much.   A lot of my friends and people around me just aren’t very mature at all. They’re all the kind of people who say “I hate babies” “I hate children” “kids are annoying” “I’ll never have kids” “puppies and kitties are cute but not babies” “I don’t won’t kids” “I don’t have the patience for kids” “I just don’t have a motherly instinct”  And I truly feel that people who are like that, just aren’t experienced or mature.  I love kids and I’ve always loved kids and I’ve always been so fascinated at the thought of having my own some day.   And the simple fact that I’ve had an abortion, only makes it worse. I truly feel like being 19 weeks pregnant, I was already developing an attachment to it.  And later, this was more apparent. It just hurts so much and I’ve never felt this way before.   When I was younger I didn’t have a motherly instinct.   But now, I really do.   The loss that I feel developed into a huge attachment to my boyfriend. I’ve heard of people being pregnant and it bringing them and their spouse even closer, and I never understood that until now.   I look at him completely different and I almost have this motherly instinct for him.   I’ve become obsessed with babies. And now anywhere I go and see one, I just fall in love and I swell up with tears almost every time.   It feels like I still have it. It feels like I have a kid. It feels like I know what it is to be a mother and to feel my child in my arms. I can almost picture what it would look like.  I crave to feel it’s touch.  I crave to feel it’s love.  It just feels like it’s lost, like I can’t see it, but it’s there.  I cry so much about it sometimes. And I feel completely mentally ill.   And I can’t explain that pain to anyone who hasn’t experienced this.   It’s just indescribable.   And it sucks that I have absolutely no support other than my boyfriend. No one else truly understands. Sometimes I feel like he doesn’t truly understand either which, he probably doesn’t. Because it’s a feeling more than anything. And he didn’t have to go through that feeling, nor does he still feel it like I do.  I tried to find post-abortion support websites and I found one and they texted me telling me they’d be with me shortly to speak but I literally never heard another word from them.   It just feels like once it’s over, there’s not really any support out there for it. Nor does it feel like anyone truly cares.   No one talks about the grief abortion gives you.   Everyone who’s pro abortion is all like “Yeah! Whoo hoo! It’s so great! Do what you want with your body!” Etc. But no one talks about the true nightmare of post-abortion depression and even sometimes trauma.   If anyone would like to share their experience with me, feel free to PM me.  Or if anyone has an recommendations or websites please link them in the comments below.   And if you took the time to listen to my story, thank you.",0.9979,positive,sad
662,MentalHealthSupport,I have post-abortion depression and it’s the worst feeling ever.,listener_1,2,"You do not need to give anyone an explanation as to why you had your abortion. That was your choice and rightfully so. And we know going through that process is not a choice people make lightly. Just wanted to say that first and foremost 😊  I know this may not help right now but I really do feel like you should seek out a counsellor, one that you feel comfortable with. This decision was a big one to make and in order for you to be able to move on in your life you need to deal with the situation. I sought help out before took me a while but when I did it was honestly the best decision I made and really helped and my relationships.   It is OK to feel like you do and to ask for help. If you don't want to go through your Dr maybe see what is online in your area.   Everything is temporary you will get through this.",0.9884,positive,trusting
662,MentalHealthSupport,I have post-abortion depression and it’s the worst feeling ever.,speaker,3,Thank you so so much for your kind words and support.  I’m definitely looking into a counselor who specializes in post-abortion depression or a psychiatrist.  I appreciate your concern and suggestions ♡,0.8519,positive,grateful
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,1,"I lay awake at night on my phone most the time. I always end up crying, but I do it so I can delay the fact I have to go to school. I guess it’s because people belittle me when I’m at school. Look down on me because of the way I look. It really impacts the way I feel about myself I’m very self critical and I don’t think I’ve been happy for two years.",-0.7624,negative,sad
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_1,2,What is it about the way you look that you feel is off-putting?,0.0,neutral,questioning
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,3,"I hate everything about my face :,)",-0.5719,negative,ashamed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_1,4,Symmetry? Acne? Skin colour? Shape? Can you break it down a bit? Asking for a reason,0.0,neutral,questioning
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,5,"Face shape, my freckles, my dark under eyes, my forehead and a scar I have",0.0,neutral,ashamed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_1,6,"Okay, you've broken down the elements of your face, and there are things you don't like. That's okay, I have that too; I have a beard like a man that I have to shave daily, I have a scar on my left eye that I got at two years old that only just missed my eye, and I have a scar on my left cheek where I had a large pre-cancerous mole removed. I get it.  What I'd like you to do now is look at the pieces of your face separately, like you just did to identify specific things you don't like. Look closely at each piece. Are there things that you like? Does your mouth turn up at the corner when you smile? Do you have dimples? Do you have different coloured flecks in your eyes?  I like my lips. The right side goes up on its own when I'm amused. I can lift my left eyebrow when I want to if I feel like being cheeky. My eyes change colour depending on my mood. My nose wrinkles when I smile.  Can you identify different parts that you like?  The reason I ask is that everyone hates their face when they look at it as a whole because it doesn't look like someone else we think is beautiful. It's not just you. The freckles you hate, for example, are exactly what some girls wish they have. In fact, there are videos on YouTube of how to use makeup to give yourself freckles because a lot of people really like them.  That means that someone is looking at you and thinking they're not pretty because they don't look like you.  I was dumbfounded when I discovered this. As I said, I have a beard and two prominent scars (and often have dark circles under my eyes because I have a toddler), and this girl came up to me and said ""your eyes are so pretty, I wish mine looked like yours. Mine are boring.""  The secret is to shift your focus from the things you don't like, to the things you do like.  If you feel unattractive, remember this; you are somebody's idea of what pretty is, even if you don't think so.",0.9678,positive,annoyed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,7,I don’t feel beautiful though.,0.5994,positive,ashamed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_2,8,What about you makes you feel that way?,0.0,neutral,questioning
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,9,The fact that people I look up to tell me otherwise or blatantly call me fat or ugly when I’m in the same room as them,-0.5106,negative,annoyed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_2,10,"I’ve experienced similar. What I’ve found is that those people are the most insecure about themselves. I know it’s not easy, but you have to ignore them. Act like you can’t hear them. They will stop.",-0.6756,negative,annoyed
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,11,But they aren’t saying it to me. They are saying it so other people.,0.0,neutral,neutral
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_2,12,"My I ask you, what year in school are you?",0.0,neutral,questioning
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,13,10,0.0,neutral,prepared
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,speaker,14,Yeah...,0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
663,MentalHealthSupport,I dread going to school.....,listener_2,15,Is there a school counselor you can speak with?,0.0,neutral,questioning
664,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fat and trying to change it,speaker,1,"I get bullied a lot for it, 6 weeks ago I wanted radical change. I workout 4 times a week and eat healthy. But I still got a lot of stress. And always when I get into this extreme stress it's hard for me to get out. I'm getting obsessed with the thought that my body is producing cortisol and (hormone that makes you fat, kills your muscle and harms your imune system) I cant stop it. So in fact Im starting to panic and release more and more of it. It always starts with a problem in my life and after I kinda solved it this happens... I dont know how to keep me calm :( i have ocd as well. Please give me some tips , I feel like my work is worthless if I cant stop this",-0.9708,negative,afraid
664,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fat and trying to change it,listener_1,2,"To try and calm yourself down, try meditation. It’s helped a lot for me. For weight loss, try to get a good tracking app. It puts everything into perspective. It’s helped me a lot",0.4404,positive,nostalgic
664,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fat and trying to change it,speaker,3,Thanks! I should give it a try!,0.5399,positive,suggesting
664,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fat and trying to change it,listener_1,4,No problem!,0.3716,positive,acknowledging
665,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing's Real.,speaker,1,"I've never suffered from any past mental issues besides my few anxiety attacks that I've had in life. Not too long ago, I felt like nothing was real. Everything I sensed felt artificial and I just don't feel right. I walked out of my room and it felt like I was dreaming, and it was so quiet. I walked out earlier today and saw my dad and brother, but I haven't seem either of them since. I might talk to my school counselor about it next week or something, but it was just so strange. I felt like if I walked outside I wouldn't see a single person, and so far I havent heard or seen anyone else. I don't know what happening, but I'm shaking quite a bit even while writing this. It's still going on. I don't even know if I'm dreaming or not and I don't know if anyone will even be able to help me, but I'm putting this out here just in hopes of getting some sort of guidance to help me out, whether it's on making the steps to talk to someone if this happens again or getting help on calming me down. I called my friend but she picked up way to quickly and I asked her if everything was real and she said it was, but I just don't know. I don't feel anything, really.  I don't know if this is dissociation or something else, but I want some sort of help. Anything works.",0.9797,positive,afraid
665,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing's Real.,listener_1,2,Dissociation and or derealization and depersonalization it's okay no matter how weird things feel don't freak just breath slow and steady when you can get help.,0.6407,positive,acknowledging
665,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing's Real.,speaker,3,"Thank you. I'm still feeling some effects, but I'm feeling way better now. I don't know why I suddenly got those, but whatever, I guess.",0.765,positive,grateful
665,MentalHealthSupport,Nothing's Real.,speaker,4,"Thanks, man. I'm still feeling pretty off, but I went outside and hung out with some people, so I'm doing better. I'm aware of both of those, but Plato's Allegory and Diogenes sound interesting. I'll check out 434 soon enough. I really appreciate it! ☆",0.9467,positive,grateful
666,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know if I can take this much longer,speaker,1,I don’t want to burden people with how I’m feeling and I don’t have the courage to tell my family so here seems like the best place. I feel like my life isn’t worth living and have been contemplating ending it all and tonight feels like the last straw. I’m lying alone crying feeling as if no one can help and I don’t know what to do. I’m “young” and the few people I’ve told have said to me to stop overreacting and to grow up. So this may be goodbye but hopefully I can fight this for another day.,0.5076,positive,lonely
666,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know if I can take this much longer,listener_1,2,1-800-273-8255 United States suicide hotline  I'm not joking. Call them,-0.5213,negative,terrified
666,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know if I can take this much longer,speaker,3,"Thanks, but I’ve found it too difficult to talk to anyone and can barely type",-0.3182,negative,sympathizing
666,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know if I can take this much longer,listener_1,4,Seek professional help. Not random redditors.,0.4019,positive,lonely
666,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know if I can take this much longer,listener_2,5,Sometimes random people online are the easiest to speak to because we're disposable. It makes sense.,0.4215,positive,trusting
667,MentalHealthSupport,I used to be a calm fun person,speaker,1,Now I’m anxious all the time!,-0.3164,negative,anxious
667,MentalHealthSupport,I used to be a calm fun person,listener_1,2,Yeah I used to be a fun person too...but I’m just severely depressed and anxious as well. I feel like a broken human being,-0.3182,negative,sad
667,MentalHealthSupport,I used to be a calm fun person,speaker,3,I know exactly what you feel,0.0,neutral,agreeing
668,MentalHealthSupport,Do hormonal changes cause suicidal/intrusive thoughts?,speaker,1,After a discussion with my mum about some of the issues I have been having she pointed out that my hormones could be playing a part with my current troubles I.e. my suicidal/intrusive thoughts however when I searched up this question I only found this to be a common theme in teenage females and I found nothing on suicidal/intrusive thoughts in male teens so I’m just wondering is this a thing in males too can my hormones affect my thought patterns aswell as my mood?,-0.29600000000000004,negative,suggesting
668,MentalHealthSupport,Do hormonal changes cause suicidal/intrusive thoughts?,listener_1,2,I would think that hormones change during puberty and throughout the teen years for both boys and girls so I would think that hormones could screw things up for both. Why should women have all the fun? But to be sure ask your primary or an endocrinologist!,0.636,positive,suggesting
668,MentalHealthSupport,Do hormonal changes cause suicidal/intrusive thoughts?,speaker,3,Thank you for your reply but my question was not about hormones themselves it was about whether they can cause intrusive/suicidal thoughts in male teens because I have read about it happening to female teens but not males,0.1901,positive,neutral
669,MentalHealthSupport,"Feeling sad, mad, confused and pretty damn worthless...",speaker,1,"I originally posted most of this as a response in another topic, but I just accidentally ran across r/MentalHealthSupport and god knows I could REALLY use some of that right now, so here goes...  I’m  keeping my head above water at the moment, but have been feeling SO depressed off and on for over two years, to the extent I recently nearly checked myself into the hospital more than once over feeling worthless and suicidal. I have been hospitalized three times in the past, and hospitalization is my literal nightmare, so that was when I realized how deeply all of this is still affecting me. I was actually quite stable for a very long time until all of this happened.  Short story: I “accidentally” found a half-sibling following an ancestry DNA test I had taken not to find family, but rather to determine ethnicity. It was awesome and amazing and I felt like the life-long hole in my heart I didn’t even know was there had finally been filled. I had a new half-brother! And bc my adopted family and I are estranged I was over the moon to have found him. At 50-ish and 60-ish, we both had the time and means, and planned to spend time traveling the world together as we got to know each other.   Then he wanted sex.  Longer story: Yes, he was CRYSTAL clear about his intentions. His exact words were something along the lines of our having sex was “not a matter of if, but when”. He suggested that it would be totally okay and “doesn’t count” because we didn’t grow up together. He also appealed to my sense of spirituality by saying even his “spiritual advisor” (his guru in some ashram somewhere in India) would surely also approve and would just say “love is love”.  (We’d planned to visit India together a few months after this all took place).  Since all of this happened we found additional family (also via ancestry) some of whom are now aware of this situation (because I felt I had to explain, eventually, why I want nothing to do with this new brother).  Their response was basically to say something about how “lust and sex addiction problems run in the family” (which they have decided must apply to me... apparently?) and that besides, a few of them have met him and he “made a very good impression” and ‘didn’t display any of the behaviors I’d described’.  Besides my own experience, a former mentor and very close friend of my brother’s told me he’d once had an ongoing affair with his niece/travel-buddy, to the extent that it had become an ongoing problem in his marriage, something which I’d also recently confided to our new “sister”.  My therapist and a couple of trusted friends who were aware of the situation in real time and have also been privy to all of his text messages and other communications (before and after this all happened) have all agreed that his behavior leading up to all of this  was “textbook predatory/grooming behavior”). I’ve had no experience with such things, and didn’t fully recognize what was happening until it was almost too late.   I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at the result. He was quite clear that if I ever told anyone, he would just lie, and that nobody would ever believe me -mostly because of his “upstanding reputation”. It is true, his life is much more successful on paper than mine ever has been. He had a successful and impressive career (a literal rocket scientist), while much of my life has been kind of a mess-and as a result I suffer from mental health issues including major depressive disorder and C-PTSD, which, from what I can tell basically reads to most of them as “crazy af” (you know, in that “hilarious” sort of way) and therefore disposable. They have demonstrated themselves to be pretty uninformed about #mentalhealthmatters in general as well as very prone to hurtful stigma. I think I was probably an embarrassment to them even before any of this.  I tried for months to “fix things” with him and even said I was open to trying to repair our (brother-sister) relationship, but that it would require some brutal honesty and some very difficult conversations (with both my husband and his wife). He agreed to this in the moment, but then instead he just threw me under the “crazy” bus (mostly I think as an explanation to his wife about why we were suddenly no longer in contact) and walked away unscathed. I honestly believe his awareness of my mental health history is probably what emboldened him to try any of this in the first place.  It’s taken 50+ years to find “family”, and now this ugly,  depressing mess is what it has turned into... brother and new fam are apparently cool with each other now (from what I understand), and I am the outcast, ghosted, I assume, for “creating drama” or whatever.   The only reason I “told” at all was because he seemed very keyed in on another new family member (a niece, who is very young and attractive) and I didn’t want her to doubt her gut-feeling if he ever started to creep and push boundaries w her the way he tried to do w me.  The whole situation is just so... gross. The stuff with my brother all happened a couple of years ago, and I was quite literally suicidal more than once over what my “new brother” tried to do, but somehow he has come out the “harmless, nerdy good guy” with a brand new family and I am alone, family-wise... again.   I originally posted this to r/ancestry bc I guess I was just wondering if anything like this has ever happened to anyone else after reuniting with “family” via dna testing, but I’m just feeling very alone in this particular situation right now and will gladly take any support or advice I can get.   My heart is broken, despite knowing I probably dodged a bullet by not having any of these people in my life.  Anyway, to whoever has made it to the end of this admittedly bizarre-sounding post, thanks for listening. ❤️",0.9897,positive,ashamed
669,MentalHealthSupport,"Feeling sad, mad, confused and pretty damn worthless...",listener_1,2,I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You deserve far better then that. You made the right decision,0.3197,positive,sympathizing
669,MentalHealthSupport,"Feeling sad, mad, confused and pretty damn worthless...",speaker,3,"Thank you for saying that, it does help to hear.",0.6369,positive,acknowledging
669,MentalHealthSupport,"Feeling sad, mad, confused and pretty damn worthless...",speaker,4,"Thank you, I’m trying. 😕",0.0516,positive,wishing
670,MentalHealthSupport,How to deal with being blocked for no reason,speaker,1,"Now let me explain before it looks like I’m just some weird guy.   I’m 18 and from the age of 12 I knew this girl through school who I’ve laughed and cried with. She was someone I’ve never fancied but I’d do anything for her.   We had our bad times and we went months where we didn’t talk. Then in January she found herself addicted to Xanax and she texted me asking me what happened between us and I was just as clueless as her with the situation but once we sorted that out I helped her get over this little addiction she had got herself into.   Then around April time I went to wish her Happy Birthday on Instagram after not speaking for a month and I noticed I couldn’t find her @. I then checked Facebook and then I realised she had removed me off everything.   I’m sorry for this shit story but it’s been since April that I’ve been left trying to think what I did wrong. In the 6 years I’ve known her, we have both gone down individual paths but always ended up becoming close again. Then all of a sudden I was blocked.   She told me her addiction started after being cheated on and then once she got off the xans, she got back with this guy. And then she became distant with me again.   My mates at the time would say she was using me whenever she felt shit and to this day I don’t believe that is right. I know it comes across that way but it’s not like her to leave me with no answers. Plus even though the majority of the time it was her needing my help/advise, I’d also find myself asking for her help too.  I guess what I’m asking is anyone else’s opinion on this situation. I find myself feeling abit lost, she would be someone I could tell anything and now I feel that I can’t express what’s on my mind unless I draw or write it out.   Like I mentioned before it’s been since April I’ve felt this way and certain days I feel like it’s eating away at me. I’ll be honest I have dreams where it’s her arguing with me or being really nice and I wake up and I don’t know what to think.  I feel stupid that I feel this way because I’m only 18 and it’s abit weird that my mind had this obsession with her when I sleep but yeah I think I’m done explaining, thank you for taking the time to read this",-0.9127,negative,trusting
670,MentalHealthSupport,How to deal with being blocked for no reason,listener_1,2,"In my opinion you may be obsessed with her, or you like her... I know how it feels like, A friend of mine blocked me in every social media after not talking about a month. I think it's okay to think about everything that happened, she was a long time friend... But you didn't do anything wrong, I'm don't think she was faking your friendship all those years, Something made her change or Someone, like the guy you mentioned. I don't think she was lately using you at all, you say she only talks to you to ask you for advices. Your dreams are the same, Because maybe you think about her all day long. Instead of a healthy Friendship, It's only harmful to you–Emotionally and Mentally.",0.9717,positive,trusting
670,MentalHealthSupport,How to deal with being blocked for no reason,speaker,3,"Thanks a lot. It means it. I know I think about her way too much but I just wanted to tell someone because I don’t feel like I’ve had the closure. Just telling someone on here and seeing what they think is all I wanted as I feel that not telling anyone about it has only made it worse.  I’m sorry you had it hard too, the way I’ve dealt with it for the time being is to just better myself rather than blame her for going ghost on me.",-0.4939,negative,sympathizing
671,MentalHealthSupport,A rough couple of days,speaker,1,"I legitimately tried to kill myself a few days ago. I didn’t tell anyone, I just took some pills. Not enough to kill me apparently. I think part of me chickened out and took fewer than I should’ve. Anyway it knocked me out for about a day and a half.   I’m really struggling. The next night (last night) was almost as bad. I went to work miserable. It was nice to have something to do but I couldn’t focus. My anxiety is the worst it’s been in years.   I don’t have anyone to turn to anymore. I’ve talked to a few people about how I’m feeling but no one consistently. Nobody checks up on me. I feel terrible that I need someone to talk to basically constantly and I don’t want to put that responsibility on anyone. I don’t know what to do. Do I just try again and end it?",-0.9538,negative,disappointed
671,MentalHealthSupport,A rough couple of days,listener_1,2,No. You don't.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
671,MentalHealthSupport,A rough couple of days,speaker,3,I have a therapist but I don’t see her until Thursday. I’ve missed my past few appointments because I couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve been taking my medication regularly. I’ve tried crisis number but they all seem so condescending. I hate “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way” and “x must be hard.” I don’t know. I’m scared of talking to my therapist because I really don’t want to be hospitalized again. It never helps it always makes me feel worse. But maybe I need the supervision. I don’t know. I’m basically on house arrest at this point but they don’t know I have pills/sharps stored away,-0.9802,negative,ashamed
671,MentalHealthSupport,A rough couple of days,listener_2,4,"Hey, sorry I assumed you were not in therapy already! I think you should definetely tell your therapist about this, and also share your thoughts on being hospitalized. There may be alternatives or if not, ways to make this better. Be honest with her even if it isn't what feels natural to do and if your defense mechanism tells you to hide this. What you have to understand is that when you are in a crisis like this your rational thinking is not functioning as well as usual. Unfortunately, relying on yourself is not the best right now. Call your therapist and even if just over the phone try to explain the situation. If it helps to write it down on paper beforehand and just reading it out to her that's ok. In the end you can just read her this post you have already written. The fact that you are on here responding to our comments and reaching out tells me that you are not giving up. You need the help you deserve. Keep us updated if you want, this community is here for you :)",0.6946,positive,sympathizing
672,MentalHealthSupport,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, help please?",speaker,1,"I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but it’s worth a shot...  I get these overwhelming waves of emptiness and sadness that feels like there’s a giant hole in my chest, I feel sick. This usually goes on for weeks and even months of feeling down and not motivated to do anything, I feel like I want to talk to someone and be comforted but I also feel like I want to be left alone. It doesn’t help that I’ve also started to talk to myself in my head, it’s like there’s other people in there  and they try to comfort me but sometimes they just make it worse.  I don’t know what to do and I haven’t told anyone else about this.",0.6684,positive,lonely
672,MentalHealthSupport,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, help please?",listener_1,2,The emptiness and lack of motivation is definitely depression. Have you tried couseling or talked to a close friend or family members yet?,-0.1531,negative,questioning
672,MentalHealthSupport,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, help please?",speaker,3,"No, I’m too scared to really. My sister is in a dark place at the moment and I don’t want to make my family feel more stressed and worse. I’ve attempted to tell my mum but she dismisses it as hormones so I tried to agree with her but it just is sort of always at the back of my mind lingering there so that’s why I’ve asked here..",-0.1477,negative,apprehensive
672,MentalHealthSupport,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, help please?",listener_1,4,IMO it's never a good idea to keep things bottled up. Reach out when ever and however you can. Find the best support system that works best for you and start research on how to help you cope with what you have going on.,0.9099,positive,consoling
672,MentalHealthSupport,"I don’t know what’s wrong with me, help please?",speaker,5,"Yeah, thanks",0.6249,positive,acknowledging
673,MentalHealthSupport,I wanna die,speaker,1,I simply cannot take this pain any longer I can barely right this post as it is i wanna cry but the tears won't come because im so empty inside I have no idea what to do I feel totally alone and scared I cannot bear another day with these thoughts and low depressive states I just can't do it😰,-0.9713,negative,lonely
673,MentalHealthSupport,I wanna die,listener_1,2,"Hi love. Have you tried talkimg to anyone? A therapist or family member to get these feelings or thoughs off your chest may be a good first step to recovery. If its been going on for awhile id advise a change in lifestyle since you cant recover in the same environment that this festered. I know things seem so difficult now, but when things get better, and they will, youll be so happy that you reached out to someone and tool back control of your happiness. Things can get tough and I know how overwhelming things can get but no matter what you or anyone says you are worth so much and deserve to be happy. God bless c:",0.9864,positive,grateful
673,MentalHealthSupport,I wanna die,speaker,3,Hello there I have spoken to my mum and dad but I don't think they are fully aware the seriousness of it,-0.1768,negative,sympathizing
673,MentalHealthSupport,I wanna die,speaker,4,I do want to live i don't want to go i just can't bear this feeling I have to go through each day I want it to stop,-0.0508,negative,sad
673,MentalHealthSupport,I wanna die,listener_2,5,"I know.  The feeling is unbearable.  And yet, pain is part of life too.  It's a nagging reminder that something isn't right at the moment.  In that way, pain is useful if you can sit with it long enough to figure out what's getting in the way.  Sometimes it's your own thoughts.  Sometimes it's inaction.  Sometimes you just need a good night's sleep.  Sometimes you need to cut some things out of your life and get organized.  I don't know what the source of your pain is, but if you increase the time you spend on doing things that are meaningful or that bring you even simple pleasures, while still taking care of the basics and fixing problems, you will begin to craft a better life for yourself.  It takes time, and it's not easy, there is kind of an art to it, but it is doable.",0.7929999999999999,positive,sad
674,MentalHealthSupport,My mom doesn't understand that my bunnie isn't healthy,speaker,1,I've been depressed most all summer I'm trying my best to get out of it and I'll be the first to say I haven't been taking the best care of my pets I still clean feed and let them out but my mom had been feeding them most of the time and now my dog is 2-4 pounds over weight and my Bunnie is like 2 pounds over weight and that's really unhealthy she feeds my dog like really unhealthy foods like hotdogs she shouldn't be eating them and gives my bunnie corn chips my bunnie lost her partner a few years ago and tends to stress eat but she has a pal who lives with her so she's ok but my mom knows corn chips make her sick if she's going to give them a treat give her lettus or veggies I just don't really know how to help them lose weight safely if my mom keeps doing this behind my back,0.6167,positive,sad
674,MentalHealthSupport,My mom doesn't understand that my bunnie isn't healthy,listener_1,2,Jesus Christ,0.0,neutral,faithful
674,MentalHealthSupport,My mom doesn't understand that my bunnie isn't healthy,speaker,3,I try to and I've been letting her out ever other day to exorcise,0.0,neutral,guilty
674,MentalHealthSupport,My mom doesn't understand that my bunnie isn't healthy,speaker,4,I try to,0.0,neutral,caring
675,MentalHealthSupport,"Is anyone else’s seasonal clock messed up? Also, is anyone else’s internal day/night clock messed up?",speaker,1,"So you know how most people lose weight and get into shape during the summer months?   And most people say they have less energy and are more depressed in the winter months?  Well I don’t know why, but I’ve been the complete opposite my whole life.  I usually have less energy and motivation in the summer and I usually gain weight because there are typically no family events or anything going on and I don’t have friends to make plans with so I’m usually just at home doing nothing.  Well, when the winter months roll around for some reason I’m always happier and more motivated ironically, and I actually lose more weight in the winter.   I don’t know why this is, but I’ve always been like this.  Also, I was born in a winter month so maybe that has something to do with it?  And does anyone else get super anxious for the holidays because they have to be around family? I have a really broken family and every year I dread the holidays because it’s always so nerve-racking.   I know that sounds kinda counter active because I just said winter months are usually my better months.   But then again, at the same time, it’s just the holidays that aren’t the best for me.   Secondly, about the internal day/night clock.... every since I was little I’ve been a night person.   Like I’ve never had energy through the day and I feel soooo tired and sluggish and just not my best. But every day after about 5 or 6 PM, I have a blast of energy and I’m usually up all night until like 4 or 5 AM, and it’s usually when I’m most productive, is anyone else like this??   It can be a bit frustrating because everyone else is out and about during the day or always having plans, and are always so energetic... but I’ve just never been like that. I don’t know why.   And I’ve done everything to try and boost my energy; I’ve tried going to bed earlier and waking up earlier, drinking coffee, drinking lots of water, eating healthy, staying active, getting some sun, starting projects, taking cold showers, staying busy, etc.   But no matter what, I just don’t flourish during the day, only the night.   Does anyone else have these problems with their seasonal/internal clock?   I’ve read up a lot about it wondering what could be the cause, and a lot of things point towards the month you were born in, the time you were born, your zodiac sign, and many other strange things.  I just wanted to know if this is happening to anyone else and if anyone else has struggled with this their whole life? Or maybe have some suggestions on how to completely reset your internal clocks?",0.9902,positive,jealous
675,MentalHealthSupport,"Is anyone else’s seasonal clock messed up? Also, is anyone else’s internal day/night clock messed up?",listener_1,2,"First off, you're not alone. My internal clock has been messed up for so long, I cant sleep until my body shuts down on me. Second: your body is going to be more healthy and active in the time of year when you were in your third trimester, kina just how humans function. Unfortunately I dont have any solutions for you.",0.3354,positive,sympathizing
675,MentalHealthSupport,"Is anyone else’s seasonal clock messed up? Also, is anyone else’s internal day/night clock messed up?",speaker,3,Thank you!! I figured that was why. And yeah I didn’t think they would be any solutions. I figured that’s just how it is.,0.7170000000000001,positive,neutral
675,MentalHealthSupport,"Is anyone else’s seasonal clock messed up? Also, is anyone else’s internal day/night clock messed up?",listener_1,4,"Use it to your advantage. I'm also a winter fetus, and when everyone is out spending money for the holidays I'm usually making money. It's not uncommon for me to make $3000-$5000 from October to January without a job. You've been given a gift and it can be very advantageous if used correctly.",0.8516,positive,joyful
676,MentalHealthSupport,Narcissism?,speaker,1,"I realised that whenever I found something I’m decent at, take drawing as an example, I always want to be best at it in that drawing level compared to anyone I know. However, once someone became better than me in that thing or constantly receive praises about their art, I felt the immense jealousy or the need to overtake them. Hence, whenever I have to give out praises, I have to forced it out for quite a few of them. I know this is really wrong and I’m well aware that I’m not better than anybody, in fact I’m probably the worst at doing anything, but I just can’t shake this feeling away no matter how much I try to change.  Is something wrong with me? I don’t want to become someone that others and myself would hate...",-0.8564,negative,jealous
676,MentalHealthSupport,Narcissism?,listener_1,2,"It sounds like insecurity more than narcissism. It sounds like you gain your sense of worth from being the best and if someone is better, you feel threatened.  I could be wrong, but that's how it cones across.",0.5789,positive,acknowledging
676,MentalHealthSupport,Narcissism?,listener_2,3,"I agree. This isn’t narcissism. This is the ego being so fragile that it strives to be the best at everything so it doesn’t have to feel the pain of inadequacy. And the idea of someone being inadequate stems from viewing everything in a very black/white, win/lose extremist thinking.   Narcissists don’t have enough depth or internal compass to question their motives, never mind looking at their behavior as something undesirable or needing to be changed.",-0.5994,negative,agreeing
677,MentalHealthSupport,WTF,speaker,1,I have a trouble with alcohol...so everyone instead of asking if I need help or if I'm ok.. they ridicule me in front of my face... They mentally abuse me. I don't know if it's intended but it's happening  For years my mother believes it is her right to berrate me infront anyone who will listen while I'm in ear shot. I'm already dealing addictive issues and Manic depression  Yesterday I thought differently that she's trying to find a way to reach me.   180 degree turn today.  I have to move out.  Otherwise I'm jumping off the roof and making sure I don't feel period.   I've been raped...at 16 almost killed by a crazy roomate at 24 and have the most narcsssitic fathervfigure...  15 times I've actually attempted suicide.  And all my parents want to do is play the victim card instead of asking what's the root cause of everything.  There don't care about what happens to me. They just want the money I get from disability (which they think I'm making up to scam the govt)   Once I'm out of this place.  I must consider i have no family anymore.,-0.9869,negative,angry
677,MentalHealthSupport,WTF,listener_1,2,I'm sorry your family is like that I hope you can freaking leave those losers,-0.3182,negative,consoling
677,MentalHealthSupport,WTF,speaker,3,I am making preparations to try to get away   It could be a cpl of weeks or months   The pain that is  neatly packaged as love and affection with pretty bow on it  ..  How much more of that pain can I take. Isn't 28 years enough?,0.7458,positive,sad
677,MentalHealthSupport,WTF,listener_1,4,I'm really glad you can get away 28 years is to much and I'm so sorry you've gone through it for so long they are probably just using the neatly packaged pain dressed as love as a excuse to be bad people,0.3923,positive,sympathizing
678,MentalHealthSupport,Starting my journey into public speaking on mental health.,speaker,1,"I've reached a point in my recovery where I would like to share the rest of my journey as I go.  I'm 24 and have had to battle my way back to functioning after a breakdown.  I've had a fair few issues in my past that explain how I am as I have been today.  I am trying to craft them into a motivational tail that I can share at mental health awareness events.  If you'd like to join me I would be really grateful for any input or feedback.  I am just starting out but hopefully in time it'll be come something special.  Thank you for reading.  You can find my first two videos here: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCKvJJEhlafZTXOLN_p6QqUQ    If you'd like to give some help, advice, feedback I would be grateful.",0.9811,positive,grateful
678,MentalHealthSupport,Starting my journey into public speaking on mental health.,listener_1,2,Subscribed :),0.4588,positive,encouraging
678,MentalHealthSupport,Starting my journey into public speaking on mental health.,speaker,3,Thank you! I really appreciate that 😊,0.9011,positive,sympathizing
678,MentalHealthSupport,Starting my journey into public speaking on mental health.,speaker,4,Thank you for that. Also I am sorry to hear about your situation. I'm no expert but I am around a fair amount if you're still feeling lonely.  Loneliness is an awful feeling made ever worse with isolation. I'm here.,-0.9349,negative,sympathizing
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,speaker,1,My psychiatrist wrote my diagnosis on a sticky note and one of them is confusing me.  She diagnosed me with  PTSD Panic disorder  social anxiety  And at the bottom it says  Dissociative symptoms/altered states (my other personality) Does this mean I have OSDD or is it part of the PTSD?,-0.8225,negative,surprised
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,listener_1,2,"I am by no means a professional, but it sounds like they are noting some symptoms of yours that don't quite match your diagnosis, but that are still important",0.5927,positive,neutral
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,speaker,3,the main other personality is there a lot but randomly comes out more. A few of them are more likely to come out when triggered by something.,0.0,neutral,neutral
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,listener_2,4,"Then yeah I could see the diagnosis of PTSD. I also have a main but I have some random ones depending on triggers as well. It's like an associating disorder to another disorder. I would def say that the healing with PTSD is a hard road to go towards but it's a  rewarding and totally worth it road. Because then you can get past triggers or at least recognize that they are there and happen occasionally. If you ever need support, you can pm me or just post on here. We aren't alone and can get thru it together!",0.903,positive,agreeing
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,speaker,5,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,listener_2,6,Of course! :),0.5093,positive,agreeing
679,MentalHealthSupport,What did my psychiatrist diagnose me with?,listener_3,7,"Actually, they got rid of the multiaxial system in the DSM 5.",0.0,neutral,surprised
679,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_4,1,"18 year old male. My life has crumbled in the last month. My sleep schedule is messed up (Going to bed at 9 am. Waking up at 5pm). My hamster suddenly became ill and died a couple of weeks ago (Doesn't sound that major but he was literally my best friend). I feel as though I underachieved in my A Level results. I'm lacking motivation, getting frustrated easily and easily get bored/disinterested in things I used to enjoy. My granddad who was my only role model died suddenly last night. I have so much guilt over everything and can't see myself enjoying life anytime soon.",0.5527,positive,sad
679,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_5,2,"Hey OP, sorry you’re having a rough time.. Bereavement is a really difficult thing and it can affect everyone differently. I had a hamster at 28 and when he died I was really upset, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. And honestly A’Levels aren’t everything. I got much lower grades than I was expecting and ended up going to my insurance choice, however it changed my life, I loved the city I ended up moving too, met friends I’ll know for the rest of my life and had opportunities I wouldn’t have had if I’d gone to my first choice. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Do you have any kind of support network...parents/siblings/other family/friends/work colleagues, anyone you like to talk to? I’d recommend seeing your GP too and trying to be as honest as possible about how you’re feeling. They should be able to recommend some resources around mental health and also bereavement support. I would try and be open to the idea of anti-depressants, they’ve really helped me so much (not saying you have to take anything but maybe consider it). You’re so young and you have so many options in life. I say that as someone 20 years older. But we all need help and support in managing life and life events, you don’t have to cope on your own x",0.9459,positive,sympathizing
679,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_6,3,"Hey ! I worry about my future life a lot. I am in constant fear of wasting any potential I may have, and on the other hand, I feel worthless.   I really needed to read what you wrote here. Thanks.",-0.7088,negative,grateful
680,MentalHealthSupport,i don't have thoughts,speaker,1,"ok the title might seem weird but bare with me.  i don't have thoughts – seems impossible.   but i can't explain it too well. i literally just don't have thoughts. normal people have a stream of thoughts, right? i don't.  intrusive thoughts, yes. i sometimes have those and i sometimes think about traumatic shit i've seen but other than that my mind is just completely blank.  does anyone have any ideas of what might be happening?",-0.9061,negative,neutral
680,MentalHealthSupport,i don't have thoughts,listener_1,2,I went through a stage of this deep in my depression spiral. I was numb to feelings a d then numb to thoughts. Are you okay? Do you need to talk?,-0.7882,negative,sad
680,MentalHealthSupport,i don't have thoughts,listener_2,3,"I'm going through something similar to you, did you ever get over it",0.0,neutral,questioning
681,MentalHealthSupport,First time hit myself and in public,speaker,1,I got so stressed out on my campus after a conversation with the dean that I started crying then preceded to punching myself in the head repeatedly. Now I have to go to a Code of Conduct meeting  on Tuesday I think I might be getting suspended from college...,-0.8525,negative,afraid
681,MentalHealthSupport,First time hit myself and in public,listener_1,2,Go see a therapist,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
681,MentalHealthSupport,First time hit myself and in public,speaker,3,I don’t know... :(,-0.4404,negative,sympathizing
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,1,"I know it would probably be helpful to listen to songs that cheer me up, but I tend to dive into the sad songs. I have been having a rough couple of days so I have been listening to every cover I can find of Leonard Cohen's ""Hallelujah"" I can find. This song captures the glory and the agony of life in the most beautiful way. I especially appreciate amateur recordings where it feels like they are singing because they want to feel the music.  I feel a sense of camaraderie by hearing so many different voices singing the same song. It feels validating and unifying to share in this sad music together.  I put together a playlist of some of my favorites, if you want to share in the experience: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfwYsf06cZ_M4tecqSctvfi-671Az9wkF  But enough about me, what music do you like to listen to when you feel depressed or down?",0.9814,positive,sentimental
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,listener_1,2,"Change by Blind Melon.  Give it a listen, it's my anthem when I'm feeling depressed.",-0.6705,negative,nostalgic
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,3,"Funny you should mention that, I had also just listened to No Rain for the first time in a long time before I posted.  Change is a good song tok.",0.5574,positive,surprised
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,4,"Alexandra Burke is really talented and does a dramatic cover of the song. My personal preference for the song is to have it pretty bare with a few imperfections, so I really like the street buskers in the playlist I shared or people just recording from their bedroom. Ultimately though, Cohen is still my favorite. Nobody else has such a world weary lived-in voice to really bring the meaning of the lyrics home.",0.9209,positive,impressed
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,5,"I have listened to that album, start-to-finish, more times than I can count.  NIN has long been a personal favorite. I actually was introduced to Leonard Cohen because, out of a love for Trent Reznor, I bought the Natural Born Killers soundtrack, which had Leonard Cohen's ""Waiting for the Miracle"" and ""The Future"".",0.8481,positive,nostalgic
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,6,Sigur Rós are masters of the slow build.  They make some fantastic music videos as well.,0.6908,positive,impressed
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,speaker,7,She has a voice out of time.  I am always surprised that she is as young as she is.  Lovely sounds.,0.6908,positive,surprised
682,MentalHealthSupport,What music do you listen to when you get depressed?,listener_2,8,Yes!! :),0.7418,positive,agreeing
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,speaker,1,I’m getting therapy soon but suicide is something I will have to mention and I need to know what will happen if I mention this because the last thing I want or need is some big drama because iv mentioned it and if that’s what gonna happen I’d rather not get it,-0.7783,negative,apprehensive
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,listener_1,2,"I think you should take your suicidal thoughts very seriously. What almost killed me was wanting to avoid ""big drama,"" I mean, I wasn't REALLY going to kill myself, I was just being kinda dramatic, I just got the idea stuck in my head, it wasn't anything that other people should worry about... Etc, etc. Your therapist will help you figure out what works best for you, maybe the psych ward isn't what you need but they could recommend an outpatient program that fits your schedule.  Just please please take your suicidality seriously, be honest with your therapist, and trust them to help you figure out next steps.",0.9151,positive,suggesting
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,speaker,3,I am taking it seriously and I will be honest with my therapist but how can I trust my therapist to keep it between us? I mean it’s going to cause chaos in my family if everyone found out and that’s not going to help my mum knows I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts and being depressed and that’s enough for now,-0.8965,negative,trusting
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,listener_1,4,Share that concern with your therapist and they'll help you figure out the best avenue for you.,0.8442,positive,trusting
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,speaker,5,I am just having thoughts,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,listener_2,6,Like I said I'm not 100% sure but I think your good to talk about it and if you don't want family members knowing tell him/her in advance to please not share that information with them. They are there to serve/help you and you have to be able to build a trusting relationship with them in order for it to work. Good luck!,0.9524,positive,neutral
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,speaker,7,Okay thank you for your replies,0.5267,positive,wishing
683,MentalHealthSupport,What happens when/if you mention suicide in therapy?,speaker,8,Noted. Thank you,0.3612,positive,grateful
684,MentalHealthSupport,Group Chat,speaker,1,"Hey ! Please can someone start a group chat on any social platform. So that we all can share our feelings on a daily basis and motivate each other to pull ourselves together from depression. Any social platform is fine, please popularise this.",0.8122,positive,suggesting
684,MentalHealthSupport,Group Chat,listener_1,2,Would like to know which one and how many people would join this.,0.5719,positive,questioning
684,MentalHealthSupport,Group Chat,listener_2,3,@pinkskinsocks,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
684,MentalHealthSupport,Group Chat,speaker,4,"I have tried making an insta account twice. Idk why I keep on deleting it, my brain always compares my life with others. I will make a fake-ish account for this thing though.   I am up for it, please upvote that comment and share people !",0.5255,positive,confident
684,MentalHealthSupport,Group Chat,listener_3,5,"Instagram is not the most positive space, especially for someone who isn't in the right mindset. You're right in making an account for this sole purpose. The only thing better about Instagram is it chat interface",-0.0621,negative,surprised
685,MentalHealthSupport,Made mess with pills...,speaker,1,"Can i take antidepressants after missing doses regularly? One week i decide to not use them, because first weeks side effects are really bad. And the other i will use them... I made quite mess with my system, is there still hope for me? Can i still use antidepressants? Will it stop taking effects after such bad, unregural use? (English is not my first language)",-0.9108,negative,apprehensive
685,MentalHealthSupport,Made mess with pills...,listener_1,2,"Well I'm no psychiatric professional, and it would be best for you to just be open and honest about this very thing with your prescriber.  Having said that, I don't believe taking them on and off will in any way permanently fuck with your system. However it is obviously best to take your medicine regularly as prescribed. If any negative side effects or issues come up, then you should consult your medicine provider about that as well.   It depends on the specific med as to whether or not it has to build up in the system over time vs take it and get immediate effects. Either way, sporadic use isn't good, in that you'll likely be either up and down with your mood and/or just not see the necessary effects to determine if it's the right medication for you. So if you're Really struggling to keep up with taking your meds properly, there are various methods you could take to help you keep track of it. Don't just go popping pills etc based on whether you feel like it at the present moment or not.  I hope this helps in some way. Wish you the best. ☺",0.9493,positive,trusting
685,MentalHealthSupport,Made mess with pills...,speaker,3,"I am pretty irresponsible i must admit. Which is really bad thing l, i need to work on that. Thank you so much for your answer, it is really comforting to hear this. I'll try my best to be happy and capable of routine ☺️",0.946,positive,faithful
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,speaker,1,why is it so hard to get help? I feel like there is not much help out there. And no one seems to know what to do. I am starting to feel worse because I have tried so many things and I don't know how to make myself feel better. And no one can think of anything to help me so its making me feel worse.,-0.4449,negative,lonely
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,listener_1,2,What kind of help are you looking for?,0.3415,positive,questioning
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,speaker,3,professional help,0.4019,positive,hopeful
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,listener_1,4,You’re unable to find a therapist in your area or they’re just not helpful?,-0.3252,negative,questioning
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,speaker,5,i cant afford a therapist or doctor,0.0,neutral,sad
686,MentalHealthSupport,don't know what to do,listener_1,6,"You can try this: www.innerpathways.org  It’s free, private, self-paced, and online. Maybe it will help.   Not sure what your specific needs and issues are, but it can hurt to look at.",-0.4733,negative,suggesting
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,speaker,1,"I'm new to this subreddit. I've created a throwaway account for identity reasons. This is my first time discussing my mental health issues on Reddit, but I've felt like I've started running out of options and resources as to where to get help.  I'm a college student. This year has been super rough and seems like it has been problem after problem. Last year (2018) my parents divorced and my grandmother passed away. This year, my mother unexpectedly passed away in early spring and there was a lot of family turmoil targeted at me and my father after she passed away. Her family is violent and cold, and I have tried my hardest to forget about them and what they have said.  Then, here at my university, there has been a lot of shakeups in our department. My mentor and favorite professor was let go and then I was let go from my position over the summer. There has been a lot of trouble getting adjusted to these changes, and I'm still struggling.  Probably the final straw, and the reason I bring this on Reddit, is I found out today that the therapist I've seen will no longer be seeing me as she feels she can no longer help me, and it would be in my best interest to go to a seasoned professional (she was a grad student.) The big issue here is that I have no health insurance and I'm currently unemployed, and my family can't help me.  I've scheduled an appointment to go to our school's counseling center, but I believe they can only see you three times before you have to go elsewhere.  I'm wondering what I can do to start getting back in the swing of things? My self-esteem has eroded (even before this whole mess I had low self-esteem issues), and my anxiety/depression is really starting to eat into my personal/professional/academic life. I no longer enjoy many of the things that I used to. I used to be really tuned in to the profession I'm studying for, but between loosing my job (where I was actually able to practice that profession) and everything in my personal life, it has been really hard to focus on classwork. I had a class over the summer that I was unable to complete, but the professor gave me an extension to finish it this month. I haven't even started.  Over the summer (when things started taking a turn for the worse,) I thought about possibly putting my school on hold and taking a couple years off to work and get my mental health back in check. But I don't think I want to do that - I really want to get my degree so that I can actually get out, start working and possibly dig myself out of this financial hole. It seems like a large chunk of my anxiety is caused by having little to no money.  In the interim, I'm currently looking for a job. (Unfortunately, jobs are scarce here and I'm trying to avoid fast food due to previous experiences that may exacerbate some parts of my mental health issues.) One of my biggest concerns is trying to get health insurance so that I can go back to seeing a counselor, psychiatrist. I was prescribed Celexa and took it daily prior to loosing my insurance, and it seemed to help a lot. Also seeing a counselor helped a lot immediately, but between sessions I would have a lot of issues.  The counselor/psychiatrist I saw before loosing my insurance has a sliding pay scale, but since I'm unemployed I don't think it'll do any good.  Any help would be **greatly** appreciated. I'll try to respond as quickly as possible, although this is a throwaway account so I don't receive notifications. Thanks.",-0.9535,negative,apprehensive
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. I’m not sure how much I can help, but I’ll do what I can. For one, we all love and care about you. Make sure you listen to the school counselors, it’s their job to help you. Do you have any friends that you could ask for financial aid so you can get help?   I know that procrastination is hard, but I heard a good top a few weeks ago that I haven’t forgotten. “If it will take you five minutes or less, do it immediately”. Just being productive for those small things, like taking out garbage or making your bed will help get you motivated. I saw a speech once. “When I was in the army, every day we started by making our bed. It may sound dumb, but that little bit of productivity lead to more, then more. And even if you have a bad day, you know you have a nice made bed to return to to restart tomorrow”",0.9884,positive,caring
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,speaker,3,"Thanks for your reply. I'm going to definitely going to talk to my counselors and see what they do/suggest. As for the financial aid - I don't really have any friends who could lend me the money, but even if I did - I don't think I'd be able to ask them.  I've learned that I have good days and bad days. I have some days where I'm really productive on stuff I need to be, and there are also those days where I have a depression/anxiety episode and all I want to do is play video games and watch stuff. Despite all the anxiety/depression this semester, I've really tried to make sure that I at least do my homework... except that one class from the summer. That one is really stressing me out, as it did over the summer. And I haven't even starting doing anything with it.",0.7089,positive,trusting
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,listener_1,4,"Trust me, never be afraid to ask from help. If you need to ask someone for help with that class, ask! Don’t be afraid! Good on you for keeping up with the homework. Try picking up other hobbies that help you feel better besides video games and watching things. Try walking or going for a run. Take time along the way to look around",0.95,positive,trusting
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,speaker,5,"Thanks for your reply. My therapist was through the graduate psychology department on our campus. We talked about health insurance options. Last year, my school offered an affordable health insurance plan for students (it could also be billed to your student account) but from what I've heard, they ditched it this year in favor of a plan where students have to pay $3,000 out of pocket to get coverage. (In other words, way too expensive - and it can't be billed to your student account.)  As far as my father's insurance (Medicaid): the limit is 19. When a dependent/child hits 19 years old, they're officially on their own and ineligible for health insurance unless they reapply on their own. I've talked to people about applying on my own (as an independent) but I've heard too many excuses about why I'll be declined.  I've also looked elsewhere for health insurance. When my mom was alive she encouraged me to look. The cheapest plan I found for me was like $400/month. I didn't even make that in a month when I worked...  As mentioned, the psychiatrist/counselor I saw before loosing my insurance has a sliding pay-scale. But being unemployed (they require your recent pay-stubs) I don't think they can help me at all.  Thankfully, my university has a counseling center (outside of the grad department - this one is staffed by seasoned professionals who have had their degree for some time.) I've used that counseling center a couple times (like between loosing my insurance and getting connected with the grad department) and they are really good, but they will also only see you three times before referring you out due to the volume of students trying to make appointments and the limited professionals they have. (They only have three or four professionals IIRC, and we have just under 15,000 students on this campus.)",0.9803,positive,angry
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,listener_2,6,"Life is more difficult when you are poor. This is the fundamental problem for the mental health field:  the people who could benefit most from their services are typically the least able to afford them.  I can tell you are a fairly smart person though because you write eloquently and have already done a lot of creative problem solving, so I have faith you can figure something out, even if you don't manage to get a new counselor.  Aside from looking in the self-help and psychology sections of your local bookstore or library, there are also some useful apps out there. Many therapists incorporate mindfulness into their practice now and there is an app I like called Insight Timer with lots of free guided meditations for various topics like reducing anxiety or improving sleep.  Sometimes there are free peer support groups for people coping with depression, kind of like what AA does for alcohol use.  Check the Meetups website to look for something in your area.",0.9576,positive,trusting
687,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with severe depression... and finding help on limited budget,speaker,7,"Thanks for your reply. I grew up in a low-income family; both of my parents were disabled and unable to work. So I'm used to not having any money, but it's now bad because I don't have any income since I'm on my own and I am unemployed and haven't heard anything from local employers.  I'll have to look into the peer support group, but I don't believe there is any on campus. (But I might be wrong.)",-0.6597,negative,wishing
688,MentalHealthSupport,My cousin is going downhill with her schitophrenia. What do I do?,speaker,1,"If this isn't the right sub, lemme know. r/advice doesn't like my name to let me post (although I can help other ppl with they problems and get special flairs). I just picked the name for the laughs. I'm not a serious troll.  Anyway, I don't know what to do here. My aunt, her mom, had... Has schitophrenia. She's actually been institutionalized. My cousin was actually diagnosed with, I dunno the actual name, childhood schitophrenia.  It was weird when I moved in at 10. But that's another story. My cousin immigrated from Germany at an early age, so German was spoken at home. I mention this because my cousin knows English, but has decided she no longer will speak it. She's become extremely adverse to being touched, like, at all. She began even wearing gloves all the time. She's starting to spout anti-american stuff, which scares me. **She's not a terrorist or been turned in anyway**. It's just her illness. Oh, and police are Gestapo now. If you say police, she says Gestapo.   She's also become secretive. She won't come live with my wife and I in our common place, where our friends can keep an eye on her. She says she's going to doctors, and taking her meds, but I dunno. She won't let me talk to doctors.   She stares at ppl when they talk to her. Won't respond. I asked her what's up and she says, ""I don't know if they are real. I watch, to see if they are."" That's really creepy. I know she used to *hear* things, but not see things.  She won't tell me what's going on, and if I try to get a caseworker of sorts they say she has to want help and call. Well, she doesn't know she needs help and 😔  I don't want what happened to my aunt to happen to her. I don't. I don't want to go visit once a month to watch her shuffle over me and drool cause she on so much medication she dunno who I am.  As a kid I had no control over my aunt and what happened to her. I'm older now and I learned. And yet I feel just as helpless.  I once called to get a screener to check her out but they blew me off. She's not a danger to herself or others *yet*. So, therefore they don't come out. Apparently I have to wait for an extreme crisis and even then I'm scared that at that point I'll lose her to the system. Like I did my aunt.   I remember being alone with my aunt and she just, got it in her head that I, or someone, implanted a device in her over the night. And she started digging into herself with a knife and me calling 9-1-1 scared. I don't want my cousin to get to that point.  Does anyone know what I can do. How to support her? We were so close. So damn close. And she's pulling away. I love my cuz. She's the only blood family I got. And sometimes she looks at me like she forgets who I am, or just thinks I'm the enemy.   Sorry, that was a lot. This is the first time I've ever talked about it. She called me last night apparently a few times, leaving angry messages and she talkin so fast in German. And now she not answering, and I actually went to her place and she acted like she had no idea what I was talkin about and that wasn't her on the phone. I'm a liar and slammed the door in my face 😔",-0.9509,negative,afraid
688,MentalHealthSupport,My cousin is going downhill with her schitophrenia. What do I do?,listener_1,2,"Take this with a grain of salt, I am a stranger on the Internet. I work in MH, and it sounds like she’s paranoid schizophrenic. Depending on where you live, in home evaluations/therapy might be possible. Does she have health insurance that covers mental health?",0.128,positive,apprehensive
688,MentalHealthSupport,My cousin is going downhill with her schitophrenia. What do I do?,speaker,3,"Yeah, her Medicare (or Medicaid? I forget) covers mental health. I tried getting a caseworker in, but like I said, they keep saying she has to call. I mean, if I can get a therapist around, and she shuts the door on her face...  I just want to get her to trust me again. 😔 We always had each other's backs and we never questioned nothing about what the other was doin. She trusted me fully and I trusted her fully. We the only blood family we got, except maybe my bro across the country but we ain't tight.",0.9617,positive,trusting
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,speaker,1,I have two dogs. Both yorkshire terriers. One of them is pure York x York other is a mix. Now... Both have 7 years... And the pure one... Is dieing. She was just diagnosed with uncurable illness that yorks tend to have... We.. We may need to put her down... I... I really.. Beg you... Please give me advice how not to break down... I really love that dog.. And dont imagine life witchout her...,0.6549,positive,sad
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,listener_1,2,"Oh no, that is so sad. I grew up with a pet yorkie.  They are loveable little creatures... a bit yappy in my case, but adorable nevertheless.  I don't think there is any way out of feeling sad about this, and that is ok. If you care for someone it is appropriate to grieve. It would be a lot weirder if you didn't feel anything.  Enjoy the time you have left. The fact that life is fleeting makes it all the more valuable while it is there. Appreciate the other dog who is still living. Cherish your memories and photos.  Have a little funeral or commemoration or something when the time comes. Lean on friends and family. This will be painful but you can get through it in time.  Best wishes.",0.9305,positive,sad
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,speaker,3,Thank you very much for your word...,0.3612,positive,wishing
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,speaker,4,Thank you...,0.3612,positive,wishing
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,speaker,5,I... I will try my best...,0.6369,positive,faithful
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,listener_2,6,"I watched both my parents die, and helped my mother through the last years. It isnt easy, and it doesnt feel rewarding, but it also doesn't create a rain cloud in your soul. Those feelings of guilt, remorse, and regret can rip your head apart from the inside out if left unchecked. It is much better to take the hard route and avoid them before they start. You have time now. Use it.",-0.9302,negative,sad
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,speaker,7,Little update... She died 3 weeks ago.... I... I cant forgive myself not being next to her when she was dieing...,-0.631,negative,ashamed
689,MentalHealthSupport,I... I really need advice...,listener_3,8,I’m so sorry. I felt the same way. It always hurts so much to not be able to see them in their last moments.,-0.5709,negative,sympathizing
690,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,speaker,1,"I have this male online friend that I known for over a year now, that I love to play games together with and I think of him as my best friend. Over time though I start to be mean to him without even realizing it. I would say very mean things and insult him. He told me how much it hurts him and I always stop for a little while, but I always end up doing it again. When I realize what I said probably was hurtful to him I would leave for a bit to hurt myself than go back and continue like normal. It always happens with my male friends and I lost a lot of friends because of it. I don't want to tell my family because they think all mental illnesses can be cured by not thinking about it and pushing through it and I feel my therapist don't even care about what I say most of the time. Can anyone tell me what's wrong so I can try and over come it myself?",-0.8697,negative,ashamed
690,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_1,2,"It sounds like you need to consciously work on filtering what you say. Don't feel bad about that part it is something I have had to learn as well. Before you speak, say it in your head and go over it. If you think it will be hurtful don't say it. It is something that gets easier with practice. While being unfiltrated is fine in some situations it isn't fine in all of them and keeping friends especially close friends is important.",0.9237,positive,acknowledging
690,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,speaker,3,"Ok, thank you for the advice. I'll try to be more mindful of what I say.",0.3612,positive,wishing
690,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,speaker,4,Ok that sounds reasonable. Thank you for the info and advice.,0.5719,positive,acknowledging
691,MentalHealthSupport,I believe I don't deserve anything good,speaker,1,"I feel like I don't deserve anything good in my life. I sincerely believe that I am a terrible person, I may appear nice and kind but I know for a fact deep down I'm a terrible person. That is why I believe that I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve friends, and I don't deserve love. All the pain, all the bad thoughts and suicidal ideation, all the self hatred I feel, I deserve it. I truly believe that I deserve to suffer to the point that I drive myself mad and end it all. I can't comprehend why people care about me and why people enjoy being around me because I'm a sad, unstable, piece of crap. I deserve to be alone, to receive the cold shoulder from everyone and I deserve all the hurt i feel from this. I'm not a good person, it doesn't matter how much makeup you can put on your face when you're ugly on the inside. I don't know I thought maybe someone will have an opinion on this even if it is giving me the typical ""Harden up"" but yeah and also if you can relate I'm so sorry.",-0.9957,negative,ashamed
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,1,"I cant go outside anymore. Everyone I interact with makes me angry. I threaten anything that moves with violence, and I'm begging for a reason to act on it. Pets, animals, random people, drivers, and anyone else who I feel is stupid, acting like an idiot, or just generally in my way. I've got a pretty good moral judgment, but I've been slipping for 6 months now. I've been kicked out of jobs for violent behavior, and theres at least 10 businesses that I am not allowed near. I fear I may act on these feelings and become a mass shooter. I dont own a gun, but its not like they're hard to get. I'm pretty strong when it comes to holding those feelings back, but I'm not sure if I can keep it up for the rest of my life. Please don't call the cops on me. I'm just wanting advice without going to the hospital. I'm using isolation to deal with it, but I know that wont work forever.",-0.8253,negative,furious
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,listener_1,2,"Isolation is not what you need. You do need to seek help, but that does not mean that you are “Broken”. You are not. Try meditation whenever you get angry",-0.6652,negative,sad
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,3,"This isnt something that the mental health system is set up to help with. The moment you say something like this to a therapist they throw you in a cell, and my freedom is the one thing that stops me from doing it every time. I get mad enough to do it, but then I remind myself that it ends only 2 ways, jail or death, neither option I like, but I don't know how long that's going to work.",-0.7364,negative,apprehensive
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,listener_1,4,Would anger management groups be an option?,-0.5719,negative,questioning
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,5,"Actually yeah, that's not a bad idea. I'll see what my town has to offer.",0.6187,positive,acknowledging
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,listener_1,6,Ok! I believe in you!,0.0,neutral,faithful
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,7,They're pretty much geared towards women who have been abused here. Not much help for the would-be abusers here. Small town blues I guess.,-0.7147,negative,lonely
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,listener_2,8,"I have a few more thoughts of my own, besides what is in the video I shared.    First, lets talk about why anger shows up.  Though there are a million different things that can make you angry, the common thread through it all is typically that you get angry when your goals are blocked or you get judgmental about things being good or bad.  This is when anger turns on.  When anger gets going, it affects your attention, your feelings, your thoughts, and your actions.  I'm going to break this down, because each element will be important for solutions later.  Attention:  You get laser focused on whatever is in your way or in the wrong.  You can't drop it.  And the more you think about it, the more your hatred grows.  As hatred takes hold, you forget that anything else matters.  You lose yourself and your creativity vanishes.  You are suddenly overwhelmed with destructive impulses and its hard to find your kindness, generosity, and morality anymore.  You are no longer your best self.  Feelings:  You feel tight.  Hot.  Rageful.  Muscles tense.  You breath fast and hard. Your brow furrows and your lips tighten.  Your eyes burn with bloody fury.    Thoughts:  You start to think with the word 'should' a lot, as in ""they shouldn't have done that.""  You depersonalize other people.  You're no longer thinking of them as humans, but as idiots and morons who don't understand anything.  You lose site of the humanity and complexity of people.  They just become animals, or even objects, that seem like they were only put here to frustrate or disappoint you.  Similar to angers effects on attention, you are losing sight of the bigger picture and your thoughts are all about why other people are wrong and stupid and how much you just want to make them pay for their ways.  Actions:  You get solid.  You get louder.  You start trying to prove you're a bad muthafucka.  You harden up and get wild.  You slam something.  Break something.  Hit something.  You want to push, punch, kick, fight.  HULK SMASH.   SO, now we know what anger does and that it shows up when your goals are blocked.  Do these actions actually help you achieve your goals?  In modern society, the answer is typically a resounding ""NO"".  Anger makes people dislike you and avoid you.  Anger gets you fired from jobs and thrown in jail.  You might feel powerful and in control when in anger, and even get people to change what they are doing temporarily, but generally they don't learn from it anything other than ""wow, that guy was a real asshole.""  There are much better methods of teaching people than yelling at them or getting violent.    Anger is part of the sympathetic nervous systems Fight or Flight response.  It's the Fight part, and it was really useful in our evolutionary past when we had to physically fight a lot more often.  I just read recently that there is research from fossils that early man fought a lot.  They estimated about 1 in 3 died from human violence.  There are also some remote tribes still isolated from the modern world where 1 in 4 die from human violence.  Now, we don't want to go back to that way of living where murder was a constant threat, so we need to act different.  We need to keep our anger in check.  The way to do that, is to take each of those elements I mentioned earlier and act opposite to what the anger is pushing you to do.    Attention:  Expand your focus beyond what you are angry about.  Focus your eyes on something beautiful.  Remind yourself of what really matters in life, and whatever little frustration is on your mind probably barely matters at all for your life.  Your anger probably runs in conflict with your own larger moral values as well, so remind yourself of those other values to pull your attention away from the anger source.      Feelings:  Where anger makes you hard and tense, make yourself loose and relaxed.  Let go.  Loosen your muscles.  Smooth out your facial expression.  Unclench your fist and unknot your chest.  Slow your breathing.  Loosen the eyes, let your gaze fall.  Find acceptance and compassion for others, knowing that we are all flawed.  Thoughts:  Notice what is right with people rather than focusing on what is wrong.  Consider their wider humanity.  Everyone matters to someone else somehow, even if it is just as somebody's son or daughter.  Don't think about what you are mad about as much as you think about who you want to be in this moment.  Are you being your best self?    Action:  Given that anger is not usually an effective social response, think about what would be and how you can get yourself to do that.  Pause and give yourself a few seconds to think about how you want to come across, rather than just acting on impulse.  Turn to a smoother approach, rather than something so destructive.  Take that angry energy to destroy something in the short term, and funnel it into your resolve to be effective in the long term.  Use the anger to fuel the fire of your resolve to actually achieve your larger goals overall (including being a better person), not just to smash through minor setbacks.    This process of acting opposite to the anger will feel really weird and uncomfortable at first, but keep practicing it and you can improve your skill with it, just like any skill.  Ultimately, practicing compassion is one of the best ways to act opposite to anger.  The Dalai Lama has a lot of great ideas on how to practice compassion.  His ability to maintain his compassion, even as China is oppressing and killing his Tibetan people, inspires me and gives me hope that there are methods for managing anger even in the most extreme of situations.  You might also consider loving-kindness meditation, which can help you grow your heart and compassion for others, as well as yourself.  It's a simple practice, and though I thought it sounded cheesy at first, I found that actually giving it a try was pretty powerful and beneficial to my soul.  Good luck.  I really hope this helps.  I would be sad to find out that you hurt others or yourself.  Take care.",-0.9988,negative,sad
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,9,Thank you so much for your understanding.,0.3612,positive,sympathizing
692,MentalHealthSupport,Am I broken?,speaker,10,"I can understand this. My fight or flight is broken. It auto-defaults to fight. That's part of my issue. I'm hanging on by a thread financially and anything that slows me down even 24 hours is a big problem. I'm so nervous and worried about things that it keeps me up at night, and so much so that the only time I get rest is when my body collapses on me. I push it way too far and I have all the scars and dark eyes to prove it. I'm responsible for my mother as I'm her caregiver, like full power of attorney and everything. It's very easy to use that fact against the violent thoughts:(if I screw up it's both our lives, mine doesnt matter, but hers does), but when she passes away that's practically a green light to open fire. I care very little about my own existence. I have no kids, girls dont look at me, and I've never married and have no siblings. When I'm not working on making my mom's life better, I'm usually playing videogames, and I'm not going to lie... 90% of them are violent. It does actually help considerably when I can just cap whoever's in my way in gtaV... I stop thinking about it irl. My mom and my computer is pretty much all that matters.",-0.6392,negative,anxious
693,MentalHealthSupport,I'm craving butter-fried mushrooms,speaker,1,"Random title aside, I'm now 6 months pregnant and can feel the baby kicking regularly, so I'm starting to finally relax and believe this one will actually be born healthy.  I broke up with my partner (father of my toddler and this baby) a few days ago for yelling at me yet again. I told him this would happen if he yelled at me again. He has a short fuse and is often irrational.  Scroll down to TL;DR from here if you want to skip the boring background bit lol It'll be a slog otherwise.  We signed an agreement a while back, which both sets of our parents signed as witnesses, whereby I am the custodial parent and sole guardian and daily decision maker, by mutual agreement, because he does not cope well with parenting responsibilities. We don't live together,but he has pretty free access for visits. By mutual agreement he isn't to be left alone with our son due to his mental health issues, so we arrange for them to have time together at his Mum's so he can just leave if he gets overwhelmed.  So basically, he has a pretty sweet deal; all the fun, none of the responsibility.  Last week I typed up the rules for our son's care and gave a copy to his Mum (my parents also have a copy). She has him two days a week, my parents have him two nights a week, and I have him the rest of the time (albeit my parents are helping a lot more at the moment due to the pregnancy so I can rest as needed). The purpose of writing the rules down was to ensure consistency across the board since son is 19 months and needs routine.  The rules are reasonable; when he should and shouldn't nap, what he's allowed to eat and drink, what safeguards are needed during naps and out walking, etc... Nothing overbearing, and both sets of parents agree with them and are happy to follow them.  Well, my ex lost his shit over one particular rule (two adults present if he's playing out front, due to inadequate fencing at both houses plus MIL is prone to falls) and instead of discussing it with me, he chose to yell at me, followed by threatening to take me to court for custody and accusing me of breaking the agreement by making rules without his say so (these rules have been negotiated with both sets of parents over the past year).  He also demanded that I follow that particular rule too because ""I'm his Dad and I say so!!!"" despite the fact that my front fence is high and secure. That's the only rule I don't follow myself because my fencing is fine (my parents don't have a front fence and MIL has a low and unstable fence)  So instead of getting into my usual depressive and suicidal cycle and feeling worthless, etc, I broke up with him and stood my ground. I talked to his Mum about what was going on and reassured her that it would not affect her relationship with our son, and I told him to take me to court if he wanted but not to use that as a threat to try and intimidate me.  ----- TL;DR skip part from here...  I've battled depression and suicidality since I was 8, along with crippling self-doubt and insecurity.  Standing up to him like this and saying enough is enough without being dramatic or hysterical is HUGE!!! We're amicable, I made it clear that I intend to continue supporting him with his mental health and I would continue to nurture his relationship with our son, but I said ""no more"" to abusive outbursts.  Thirty years after my first suicide plan at 8 years old, I think I'm finally winning this mental health battle WOO!!!",0.7871,positive,hopeful
693,MentalHealthSupport,I'm craving butter-fried mushrooms,speaker,2,"Okay, downvoted for assertimg myself, that's a new one lol",0.5719,positive,angry
693,MentalHealthSupport,I'm craving butter-fried mushrooms,speaker,3,"I actually talked to his Mum about this and we're both concerned about what court would cost him.  There are multiple agencies involved, all of which have commended what I'm doing and expressed concerns about him having solitary visits. The most likely outcome is that he is reduced to supervised visitation by order and none of us want that because of the effect on his relationship with our son. He's already not left alone, so we don't want things to become clinical.",0.4464,positive,apprehensive
693,MentalHealthSupport,I'm craving butter-fried mushrooms,speaker,4,"Thank you ❤️  He's basically a good guy and can be really supportive, which is why I don't want to alienate him, but friendship is definitely a better idea than a relationship.",0.9391,positive,acknowledging
694,MentalHealthSupport,I can't handle how bad my paranoia is getting,speaker,1,"I'm 17, almost 18. My mental health is getting really bad and I'm scared to talk about it in real life.. so I'm here. I hope this is the right subreddit? This might be long to cover everything, sorry if that's the case.   Trigger warning for abuse and break ins. I haven't used reddit too often so if there's a way to filter this that I'm missing, I'm sorry  For a little backstory I grew up with a horrible abusive father. It was extreme but I can't go into any detail at all because I have very little memory of my life up until my 12th birthday. I know I was diagnosed early on as a kid with anxiety, depression, and adhd. I struggled in school a bit but didn't really realize what all of that meant. I lived with my dad for over ten years and didn't realize I'd gotten ptsd from that until he moved out. I was about 15 then. A year after my ptsd diagnosis there was a break in in my house. My little brother and mom were asleep but my sister and I had snuck downstairs to play mario kart or something like we always did. We both heard the door rattling and ran upstairs. We woke up our mom and called the police who gave us an empty promise of coming by and checking back with us — They didn't. We waited terrified, laying in the bath tub until we fell asleep with our mom on watch. I still don't really understand what happened that night.  After that, I couldn't do anything alone. I had lived for a few months where I couldn't even shower without my siblings outside the door. I was so scared someone was out to get me. I genuinely dont even know if the break in really happened. I was hallucinating a lot at that period of my life from what I thought was just stress from my ptsd diagnosis. But it made me so scared, so paranoid.Could I have made that whole thing up? When I would get home from school before anyone else, I couldn't go inside. I felt like there was someone waiting for me to be alone to attack me or hurt me or something.  I don't know how I got out of that or what I did, but I feel it coming back. That session of fear or whatever is coming back. I convince myself that theres someone in the house all the time and I'm constantly frozen in fear doing mundane things like folding laundry in my room. I can't live like this and it's tearing me apart to live in fear in my own house. I stay up alert until four am a lot of the time, too scared if I sleep they'll win. It's made my grades so bad I feel like a failure. I don't know what to do at this point for my paranoia.. I know it's irrational but my ptsd won't leave me alone. I just need to let this out and I'd love any words of encouragement or stories to know I'm not alone in this.",-0.9894,negative,sympathizing
694,MentalHealthSupport,I can't handle how bad my paranoia is getting,listener_1,2,"Good news! This is anxiety, not paranoia. More specifically, it's an anxious symptom of PTSD.  Better news! It's treatable using gradual exposure. Just take a few steps inside by yourself, and increase the number of steps as you become comfortable.  A good therapist with experience in PTSD will be able to help you with this, but it's definitely beatable. I've been there.",0.9063,positive,hopeful
694,MentalHealthSupport,I can't handle how bad my paranoia is getting,speaker,3,"Thank you, I definitely need to search for a therapist. I'm on medication but my newer psychiatrist holds back on anxiety pills due to people abusing them. (I'll get maybe 4 a month.)  The exposure part would be really difficult for me, I genuinely feel my lifes in danger at some parts despite nothing actually going on.. but I see where you're coming from with that beimg able to help. I want to get better but I feel like I'll have to take really little baby steps.",-0.1629,negative,agreeing
694,MentalHealthSupport,I can't handle how bad my paranoia is getting,listener_1,4,"Baby steps are definitely appropriate, because the feeling that your life is in danger is a valid symptom and feels very real. The technical term for it is hypervigilance and it's because you kick into survival mode due to trauma. What you feel is very normal for PTSD and completely rational due to your experiences (which is how it's different from paranaoia).  The tiniest steps will help. Even if you're only taking one step inside to begin with, it's still one step further than you can do right now.  It gets easier as you go, but the key is to do it gradually and get comfortable with your current stage before you push it further. It won't be fixed overnight, it can take years , but it's definitely something you can do.  Just be kind and patient with yourself and understand that you may go backwards at times and that's okay. It's a process.  But it does work, and it will improve your life. I used to experience this fear by leaving the house and couldn't even check my mail, and now (after years of gradual exposure) I can actually go to the shops by myself without distress. It took a little over four years to get to that point, but it was absolutely worth it. I still feel danger if someone stands behind me, but I'm working on that now.  You are not alone, you are not crazy, and you CAN recover.",0.9586,positive,agreeing
695,MentalHealthSupport,A Worrying Feeling,speaker,1,"For a few days I've had this huge lurching feeling in my stomach. It's not like it hurts or I'm sick, but like when you have butterflies in your stomach, or when you get a bad feeling. I've just been feeling this way for a while and I wanted to know if anyone might know as to why. I'm not even sure if this is the best community for this anyway.",0.6696,positive,apprehensive
695,MentalHealthSupport,A Worrying Feeling,listener_1,2,"If it’s nothing specific making you feel this way, perhaps it’s hormone swings? Based on your other posts I’m guessing you are high school age?",0.0,neutral,suggesting
695,MentalHealthSupport,A Worrying Feeling,speaker,3,"I was thinking that could be the case, but I wasn't really sure, this is a little reassuring",0.08800000000000001,positive,apprehensive
695,MentalHealthSupport,A Worrying Feeling,listener_1,4,"Yeah, hormone swings are very under rated and should be talked about more. Just remember that you have a long life ahead of you, and that you are awesome!",0.7644,positive,agreeing
696,MentalHealthSupport,Almost No Motivation,speaker,1,"Hi, please let me know if this is the wrong sub because I didn’t really know whether to post this here or not but here we go. So I’m in high school and I’ve had anxiety for a while now (undiagnosed but still went to therapy to “talk”) and I’ve noticed that throughout the years, along with my anxiety problem, and my very low self esteem, it’s been getting harder and harder to get anything done. Now I’m not the type of student to just not do any work as I’ve always been lazy and procrastinate often but I always get my work done in the end. But recently (started around sophomore year) I’ve been losing motivation for everything around me. From homework to doing school projects that are due the next morning, I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it anymore. I know it’s probably just me being a lazy person and trying to rationalize my laziness, but it’s been a struggle and it’s getting harder and harder with college around the corner. The thing that worry’s me, and led me to post this, is that I realize I’m lazy and unmotivated and I’m trying everything in my power to motivate myself again but nothing seems to be working. I don’t really want to make it sound like it’s out of my control but it honestly feels like it is, and it’s kind of scary. I’ve already asked my mom to take me to see another therapist as I have a lot on my mind and have been wanting to just vent to a professional and see what advice I get, but so far my therapist need is at the bottom of a long list of things to get done for my mom (she’s very busy, but very supportive) so I can’t turn to that just yet.  Any advice/help appreciated!",-0.8313,negative,apprehensive
696,MentalHealthSupport,Almost No Motivation,listener_1,2,What are you doing instead of your homework? For me it was video games. Maybe you need to actively limit your time with time wasting things?,-0.1926,negative,questioning
696,MentalHealthSupport,Almost No Motivation,speaker,3,"It’s anything really, video games, reading, YouTube, it’s like I need something to get the workload off my mind because I just feel guilty about not doing it, but that in turn makes me do less works which makes me feel more guilty and so on. But yeah I have to start getting time management down really quickly! Thanks for the response!",0.58,positive,acknowledging
696,MentalHealthSupport,Almost No Motivation,listener_1,4,"For sure. I have had the same problem too. I have found that starting is always the hardest part. Once you have got “the ball rolling” it seems to go easier. Don’t look at projects as the whole, but little steps to complete. Never try for 100%, but shoot for 90% and you won’t stress yourself as much trying to make something “perfect“. Once you get into the real world, you will likely earn a living on completing tasks, not on how perfect the results are. Stay awesome!",-0.5774,negative,confident
696,MentalHealthSupport,Almost No Motivation,speaker,5,"I haven’t really thought of it this way, thx you stay awesome too!",0.784,positive,acknowledging
697,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been down recently,speaker,1,"Hey everyone. The title basically sums it up. I’ve been hit with intense waves of sadness and loneliness that physically hurt for a few months now, and they haven’t gone away. I don’t just mean “Oh, I’m sad and lonely because no one wants to be with in a relationship with me”. I’m autistic, and have an extremely rare chronic illness, so I’ll probably never be able to have a meaningful conversation with someone who can understand me, and it hurts. I feel hideous with my psoriasis, and don’t feel like I will add up to anything in life. My parents can’t afford to send me somewhere for college, so community college might be my only option, and I doubt I’m smart enough for a scholarship. I’ve wanted to kill myself for a long time, and have hit myself for years. I feel like if I died, everyone either wouldn’t care, or would be happy, depending on the person. Could this be depression? I’m not sure what to do, and I don’t want to be that teenager with fake depression that everyone hates.",-0.9843,negative,lonely
697,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been down recently,listener_1,2,"I'm so sorry you're going through this. Community college might actually be a great thing for you. Take art, pottery, piano, dance, martial arts, anything that makes you curious. Not only will that engage your brain which always helps with my depression, but you might actually surprise yourself and make a friend. Maybe no one can understand exactly where you're coming from, but you can find people who have also experienced illness and depression and loneliness and will be able to empathize.   I know none of that helps right now in this moment where you're in pain, and I'm again so sorry that this is happening to you. Please call a suicide hotline if you need to, there's even crisis text lines if calling feels like too much. And if it comes to that, go to the ER. They can give you a safe place to ride it out. I'm rooting for you.",-0.96,negative,suggesting
697,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been down recently,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
697,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been down recently,speaker,4,"Thank you, I will try it",0.3612,positive,wishing
698,MentalHealthSupport,How to Alleviate Negative Outlook,speaker,1,"Lately I've noticed that I have a negative outlook on life regarding my finances, relationships, etc. I can tell that it's all a defense mechanism and/or a side effect of my anxiety, but I want to let it all go... I just don't know how.  **Comparing Myself to Others**  * I compare myself to the friends who I think are doing better than me; especially with finances/housing. * I think that I'll only be financially stable if I work at the same jobs they do, despite their hating their jobs. * Regarding my artistic skills, my standard is usually at the level of those with years of experience over me. * Despite me going to the gym a few times a week, I often compare my body to those who go nearly daily.  **Fear of Being Exploited**  * My college roommates befriended me for my car until one of them bought a car, then they stopped. * Due to this, I'm always concerned that people will take advantage of me, so I usually push others away. * The ones that I feel most comfortable around are those who show a constant display of independence.  **Judgmental of Others**  * I keep mental tabs on those who annoy me, repeating their ""offenses"" in my head almost daily. * This repetition conditions me to always look out for when they inevitably do the ""offense"" again. * These ""offenses"" are usually acts of ignorance, asking repetitive question or being bombastic.  **Feelings of Insecurities**  * I have such a strong concern that I will not be able to live comfortably unless I am wealthy/successful. * I'm constantly worried about if and when things may go wrong, wanting the resources to resolve them.  All in all, I believe that my negative outlook stems from an obsession with being successful and being financially stable enough to live comfortably. I dislike codependent people because I'm afraid they'll drain me of the little resources I believe I have, leaving me with nothing left. I'm probably being a jerk though.  Any advice on how to stop this?",-0.9073,negative,jealous
698,MentalHealthSupport,How to Alleviate Negative Outlook,listener_1,2,You have nicely summarized the things that haven't been working. That is a great first step.  The doors are everywhere once you can see the walls.,0.7906,positive,proud
698,MentalHealthSupport,How to Alleviate Negative Outlook,speaker,3,"These are going to be some hard lessons for me to internalize, but I appreciate your feedback :)",0.81,positive,acknowledging
699,MentalHealthSupport,What the fuck do I do,speaker,1,"So this girl that I really like is dating another guy. But that's not the worst part. This guy has been really close with other girls (like walking around leaning into each other holding hands). I really want to say something to this girl knowing that its the ""right"" thing to do. However I feel like she wouldnt believe me because I've confessed my feelings for her and I dont want them to assume I'm making stuff up to break the 2 of them apart.   Anyways this has been keeping me up at night going on for about a week and a half, the only times I get sleep is when I cry myself to sleep and even then I deal with recurring nightmares I've had since I was in 1st grade.  I'm so glad I found this place I felt like I was about to explode before. This and with my parents getting a divorce has really messed me up.  Any advice is more than welcome.",0.9621,positive,trusting
699,MentalHealthSupport,What the fuck do I do,listener_1,2,"So first of all, let go of the shit with the dude and the girl.  You're just being a busy body, and the only reason you are concerned  with telling her is because you like her.  It ain't your biz and you want it to be, nothing good can happen from you taking action here.  You are building stories in your head and following them like they are real.  Focus on you and the divorce issues, you sound younger, take care of your base man, no girl will make it better.  The reason you ain't healing or getting better, is because you are giving yourself to this narrative and story about you and this girl and you the hero here and she falls for you after for saving her from this guy.  No, you're being a nice guy.  Work on you, take care of you, and somebody who will value you truly will see somebody worth valuing",0.9865,positive,angry
699,MentalHealthSupport,What the fuck do I do,speaker,3,Update: Thank you for the advice I can't tell you how much it helped me in pretty much every way. I now have a lot of great friends and in general a much much happier life. Thank you.,0.9571,positive,grateful
700,MentalHealthSupport,family fucked up im scared,speaker,1,"i talked to guidance at my school a couple days ago about my depression, and they called my dad instead of my mom.   my mom came to talk to me, and she said ""why didnt you tell me before?""   i said ""i dont trust you, and your always angry so i dont want to get in trouble""   she stormed off saying ""I guess everyone in this family thinks im some big fucking bitch""  fast forward a couple days, she didnt like that.  mom is threatening to leave, selling all my pets, and breaking all my shit,  and then if mom leaves, we have to sell the house, and then hope that mom doesnt take my bird, its the only thing i love the most, i dont have dinner, and she doesnt talk to any of us, just constantly yelling and stuff  all of this stemmed from me wanting help with my depression, ive had it for 2 years, told no one.  i legit dont know what to do, im hoping my parents split up, but i dont want to sell the house.   shes been emotionally abusing my dad for the past 2 years, and she has been threatening to leave multiple times but this time i think shes actually going to do it.   all this has done is made my depression worse, and i really really want it to end.  im probably going to just try to convince my dad to leave her, because that seems like the best bet. only thing wrong with that is that we have to sell the house, and give her 50%. anyone please give me advice on what i should do, i really am at my limits. i am 14, if anyone was wondering",-0.9576,negative,angry
700,MentalHealthSupport,family fucked up im scared,listener_1,2,"If she gets abusive, please don’t hesitate to call CPS. Do other extended family members know?",-0.6124,negative,questioning
700,MentalHealthSupport,family fucked up im scared,speaker,3,"No, Just my dad.",0.0,neutral,lonely
700,MentalHealthSupport,family fucked up im scared,speaker,4,I'm worried she will take it because she loves the bird.,0.3612,positive,afraid
701,MentalHealthSupport,I feel guilty,speaker,1,My mom never let me go vegetarian when I was younger and yelled at me when I didn't eat meat I'm vegan now and I wont go back but she still makes me feel guilty for buying vegan things that are a little expensive my mom made me think she  owned my body and I had to be exactly like her and I feel awful that I didn't have my own brain and ate animal products for so long it makes me want to eat my teeth,-0.6124,negative,ashamed
701,MentalHealthSupport,I feel guilty,listener_1,2,"You shouldn’t feel guilty, it wasn’t your fault. You are your own person, and your mother doesn’t control you. Don’t ever try to become like her",-0.4588,negative,guilty
701,MentalHealthSupport,I feel guilty,speaker,3,I,0.0,neutral,guilty
701,MentalHealthSupport,I feel guilty,listener_2,4,"Well, if you do have to eat meat, do the creature the proper respect of cooking it well, appreciating the sacrifice, and enjoying it thoroughly. Life feeding on life is an uncomfortable fact of life, whether it be animal life or plant life.  The worst sin is microwaved beef quickly scarfed down.",0.3182,positive,disgusted
701,MentalHealthSupport,I feel guilty,speaker,5,I didn't eat her I'm not sure if that was clear she still alive,0.5003,positive,guilty
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,1,"I just realized this.  Nothing makes me happy. Yeah I waste a lot of time doing things that are unproductive (like playing fifa, watching soccer, watching YouTube) but I’m always angry while doing those.   I still do them, but it’s always me forcing myself to do them, and at the end of the day they always make me mad (if I do poorly in fifa, if my team losses, or the videos on YouTube get me angry because of the comment section).   People always say “find something you enjoy/ are passionate about”. How the hell am I supposed to do that? Do I just wake up on day and try a hobby?",-0.9498,negative,angry
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_1,2,I’m having trouble finding things I enjoy. I used to enjoy a lot :/ I wish I could help but I’m with you. You’re not alone in this at least,0.6662,positive,jealous
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,3,What did you do that you enjoy?,0.4939,positive,questioning
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_1,4,"I used to make art, do yoga, hike,and even work & I used love dogs. Everything seems so meaningless now.",0.1176,positive,nostalgic
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,5,"ngl I understand how they are. Unless I’m selling the art or am going to use my social media to make money,  I don’t even bother.   I put a monetary value on everything and it fucking pisses me off",-0.4005,negative,angry
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_2,6,"This might just be the core of your problem. If you are just doing things for money, you are doing something in order to get something else.  You are giving up the present for something in the future.  If you were just doing it to do it, you would have more fun with it. If everything you do is for some future goodie, then when you finally get that goodie, you'll think ""yay, I got it... but now what good is this goodie for? What can I get out of it? Can I sell it?"" and you'll keep chasing the future like a donkey chasing a carrot dangling in front of its face from a stick tied to its back.   When we dismiss something, we often say ""it has no future in it.""  In other words, you can't get something else for it. But I think if something is worthless, it makes more sense to say ""it has no present in it."" You need to enjoy the useless and purposeless things in life. I suggest singing in the shower, dancing in the mirror, or just tumbling around on the floor.  Fold up a useless old dollar bill and make a paper airplane out of it so you can actually play with it.  Put your head between your legs and look at the world from an upside down perspective where everything is hanging from the Earth. Spin in a circle and go weeeeeeeee! It will be a good start.",0.7703,positive,disappointed
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_1,7,"Yeah I deleted my social media. I don’t have the energy to make it even think about selling the art I have made. I used to think someday I would but idk. I can’t even think about it. Especially this week it’s so difficult to get up, shower, eat the bare minimum so I can take my meds, and get my butt to group. I’m working part time too in the afternoons. And I go to bed early and start the thing all over",-0.5875,negative,sad
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,8,It’s fucking ridiculous,-0.4201,negative,angry
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,9,Because at least the things that I’m currently doing are things I’ve done long enough.   If I start a new hobby I’m going to face so much failure. And I currently can’t deal with failure.,-0.7832,negative,apprehensive
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_1,10,Yeah. I’m feeling pretty fed up and exhausted by life,0.5267,positive,content
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_3,11,"I hear you. But if you don’t change anything about what you’re doing, how can you expect things to magically improve?  If the idea of starting something new is upsetting to you, then you don’t have to. I just got the impression that you wanted to from your post. If your current hobbies used to give you joy, maybe you could think about why you started liking them in the first place? Then you could keep those things in mind while you do them. Or if you’re trying to find a new hobby, you could think about the things that you like about your old hobbies, and try finding a new one that has similar characteristics. That might make it seem less overwhelming.  With the failure thing, it could help to set smaller goals for yourself. Like if you decided to start exercising, it would be unrealistic to expect yourself to be able to immediately run a 5k, but walking around the block might be do-able. And even if you end up not achieving whatever goal it is you had, you still did more than you would have otherwise, which is great. Or like if you wanted to try drawing, maybe you could have a goal of drawing circles for 10 minutes, and even if they’re not perfect yet, you still would have achieved the goal and improved your circle-drawing skills in the process.",0.9718,positive,suggesting
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_4,12,"Try learning something new, programming, martial arts.  You never know what you might like until you try!  Best of luck",0.8748,positive,wishing
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,13,What are we going to do about it?,0.0,neutral,questioning
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,14,Those are all things where you can EASLY see how bad you are when you start and then realize that it’s going to take you YEARS to catch up to a 9 year old.,-0.5423,negative,agreeing
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_1,15,My therapist said to consider being gentle with myself and starting to forgive myself,0.6124,positive,trusting
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,16,But I have no motivation to do something unless i can benefit from it immediately. I used to spend 9 hours a day working online to make $15 a day.   When it comes to money I’ll go to the end of the earth for it. But otherwise I won’t even do it.,0.3498,positive,faithful
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_2,17,"Everyone is terrible at new things. Don't compare yourself starting a hobby against someone who is 10,000 hours into it. That's not a fair comparison.",-0.6202,negative,jealous
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_4,18,"Yeah but there's always a bigger fish. It's about finding something that you enjoy!  I've never won a match of go, and I barely know the rules, I play occasionally because I enjpy it despite how bad I am, and I find my enjoyment in that.",0.9321,positive,content
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_3,19,"If you feel the need for external motivation to do something, maybe you could come up with a reward that isn’t money.  The problem with doing things for money is that the money can easily become the goal, rather than the activity Itself. You’re no longer doing the activity because you enjoy it and instead doing it for the reward. If you can pick a reward for the activity that encourages the activity itself, then it might work better in terms of getting you motivated to do a hobby. Like the reward for reading a book could be a trip to the library, or getting to sip your favorite drink while you read. A reward for drawing a picture could be getting to buy a nice marker, or a reward for exercising could be a trip to the park.  Or maybe you could use your current hobbies as rewards for trying new things. Like if I try drawing today then I’ll get to play fifa. It’s possible that doing that would get you to enjoy your old hobbies more, as they would be a treat for you to look forward to rather than just another thing to take up time.",0.9949,positive,suggesting
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_2,20,Then stop doing that. Do something for nothing until it becomes fun. Draw. Play guitar. But keep it private and do it for nobody but you.,0.3071,positive,neutral
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,21,Fishing is different because I can acknowledge luck.  I’m not mad about luck. I’m mad when it actually takes work.  And that’s when ageism and sexism takes place.,-0.0134,neutral,jealous
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,22,I can’t. I’m the only person I talk to. I need to bully someone to make myself feel better. Unfortunately that someone is me.,-0.4019,negative,ashamed
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,23,Easier said than done,0.4215,positive,agreeing
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_2,24,"Yes, but still doable anyway.",0.2144,positive,neutral
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,25,I wish I couldn’t. I compare myself to others before I start a hobby,0.4019,positive,jealous
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,26,I really don’t think so,0.0,neutral,afraid
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,27,"I tried to think about why I originally liked my hobbies.  Fifa and guitar hero I used to play with my brother and friends. I haven’t done that in years  Yugioh, my peak time was when I travelled to tournaments with friends. Haven’t done that in months.  But really even then, those hobbies always made me mad because they’re not hobbies that enrich me. They’re hobbies just to waste my time and doesn’t better myself.",0.431,positive,disappointed
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_3,28,"Was it being with friends that made them enjoyable? Maybe you could try inviting them to play again. Or if that’s not an option, maybe you could go to a comic book shop and play with the people there? The same thing could apply to other hobbies. I like meetup.com for finding social groups that do the hobbies that I’m interested in. There are groups for all different things, including productive ones. Like I found a creative writing club through there to help encourage me to write more.",0.98,positive,suggesting
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,29,I haven’t had friends since 2016.  The people I play yugioh with are just people I talk to on sundays. More like peers than friends.  All those meetup things are always so intimidating. You’re jumping in to a well established group. Its so intimidating unless I were to go with someone.,0.6137,positive,lonely
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_3,30,"Well peers are a start. And I feel that. There was a few years where I didn’t have friends either. And I think it depends on the meetup. The group I went to was very open, and they were happy to have a new person. That being said, I totally understand that feeling, and  often feel like a fish out of water going to things like that for the first time too. On the plus side, having a common activity means that you can always focus the conversation on that, which can make social interaction a bit easier. Plus, if you go to one and feel like you don’t fit with the group, you always have the option to leave.",0.9651,positive,agreeing
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,31,I don’t even know which activity I’d go to,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,listener_3,32,"You could always just check to see which groups exist and maybe one will catch your attention. Or you could pick it based on location, timing, or age group if none of the activities stick out. If you’re not comfortable with that, that’s fine too. These are just suggestions to hopefully give you some ideas on how to get the ball rolling.",0.2018,positive,suggesting
702,MentalHealthSupport,There’s nothing that makes me happy. Advice?,speaker,33,Doesn’t help,0.4019,positive,annoyed
703,MentalHealthSupport,I feel inhuman,speaker,1,"I'm in so much pain. Daily tension headaches, anxiety over said headaches. I feel exhausted. I can't live like this. I feel inhuman, help me",-0.8170000000000001,negative,sad
703,MentalHealthSupport,I feel inhuman,listener_1,2,"Ugh, I hate tension headaches!  I feel like I can barely function when they are happening.  A lot of times a couple of Ibuprofen will make them go away.  I also try to focus on the pain, and I massage the areas, and breathe into those spots (I know I'm always breathing into my lungs, obviously, but I imagine the breath like an energy traveling into the areas of pain and it helps me relax the tension there).  I also walk around, stretch, and shift my posture a lot.  I remind myself that I can tolerate any given second of it, and try not to get freaked out by thinking about how long it might last in its entirety.  I recognize that a lot of times they develop from a combination of bad posture and stress, so whenever I get a tension headache, it's a good signal that I need to practice better posture, get exercise, and do more to relax and destress in my life.",0.5635,positive,hopeful
703,MentalHealthSupport,I feel inhuman,speaker,3,Its better,0.4404,positive,afraid
704,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared of seeing people,speaker,1,"I swear on the name of whatever the hell made up this thing we call the universe, every single time somebody looks at me, I can feel them thinking, “what the fuck is wrong with this weirdo?” It feels like anybody I come into contact with is wanting something from me, and I have no idea how to give that to them. Any time I leave my room to go anywhere, I worry about there being people I’ll see on my way there. I know this isn’t healthy thinking, and that my brain isn’t being my friend, but I can’t find a way to escape this thinking.",-0.4767,negative,afraid
704,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared of seeing people,listener_1,2,"Hmm, I don't really think you need to care i mean when you look at a person do you judge them like alll the time? No of course not and the same thing is with them. They just think ""oh another human bieng"" and go on with their day.",0.5423,positive,neutral
704,MentalHealthSupport,I’m scared of seeing people,listener_2,3,"""Projecting into the minds of other people""  This reminds me of a video I saw yesterday about feeling the vibrations of other people. It sounds cheesy but it's kind of true. If you're confident in yourself and have self love and respect, other people will be more likely to love and respect you. If you think you're complete trash people will pick up on that energy and they may see you in the same way. That's why ""fake it til you make it"" works so well, because if you can convince yourself that you're an awesome person (or even if you're faking it), others will pick up on the ""confidence"", they'll like you and respect you, and it'll boost your self esteem. But you can't just fake confidence for others, you have to fake it for yourself and be convincing... eventually you'll believe it. Intention is powerful... kind of like casting a spell.haha",0.9958,positive,confident
705,MentalHealthSupport,Everything is static because I am broken.,speaker,1,"Static is the only way I can describe how my mind feels when I have a bad day. Which is what's happening right now. Abuse. Neglect.  Favoritism (and not in my favor). Rape. Addiction. I'm angry. I didnt ask to come into this world. It's not my fault that my parents got drunk and 9 months later here I come. Yet it was held against me. I ran away from home when I was barely 18 because it made painfully clear that I wasnt wanted. That was several years ago. I'm older now. Married to a wonderful man and I have two amazing kids. But I'm still broken. I'm still angry. Everything goes great for a while and then here comes the static and I turn into this mean vile monster that i hardly recognize. I know this sounds scattered and like rambling and I'm sorry but it's the best I can do right now. I dont want to die. I've never wanted that. In fact more than anything I want to live a happy, stable life. I want mental peace. I dont know where to turn. I just know that I'm tired of being broken and im tired of being strong. I'm tired of fighting, myself and others. I hate how I scan the crowd looking for faces of my past, so that i know where to avoid. I'm tired of feeling like a failure in everything that I do. I'm tired of how every time I try to talk to my father about the bullshit he allowed to happen to me, I'm called a liar and am told I'm being over dramatic. I'm tired of how my dads side of the family treats me because I won't let them control me. I'm tired of how my moms side treats me because I refuse to be satisfied with being white trash like them. I just want the static to turn off and to never come back.",-0.9855,negative,angry
705,MentalHealthSupport,Everything is static because I am broken.,listener_1,2,"Hello, friend. Have you been diagnosed with depression? This sounds like it could be brain fog, which does sometimes come with depression",-0.4019,negative,questioning
705,MentalHealthSupport,Everything is static because I am broken.,speaker,3,I've been diagnosed with manic depression and have had a possible diagnosis of schizophrenia.  I also have lupus which makes medication difficult as they dont always pair well.,-0.7914,negative,afraid
705,MentalHealthSupport,Everything is static because I am broken.,listener_1,4,"Ok. Have you talked with doctors about depression medications that don’t react with lupus? Along with medicine, there are other ways to try to manage depression. Talking about your depression (preferably to a psychologist), positive self talk, religion, gratitude, talking with friends, and relaxation (such as meditation)",0.3182,positive,questioning
706,MentalHealthSupport,I have to keep myself busy to not get sad but the stress from not relaxing is taking a toll on me.,speaker,1,"Im 18 and currently in highschool. I enjoy it but it's tough so I study a lot at home in order to keep my grades up.I also work part time at a fast food restaurant and I'm currently in training to become a manager which is very exciting and would be great to have on my resume so I'm working very hard. Often 25-35 hour weeks. There are also a bunch of tests and things that I have to do at home in order to become a verified manager so my days are usually packed.  I'm also doing what I can to finish homework and get passing grades in school. I promised myself before I took the job a year ago that I can't let it get in the way of my education.  Over all I work and study for a total of 70-90 hours every week and have done so for a few months (not counting the summer ofc). I have fun at work and school and I finish things in time but I have noticed myself becoming tired, sad and stressed whenever I have free time. I also fear I'm no longer fun to be with because of my lack of energy and whenever I'm in social situations outside of school and work, I become tired and sorta quite fast. Whenever I'm by myself watching TV or playing video games or whatever I do to relax, I get anxiety and become super stressed. This started happening a few months ago but it's been gradually becoming worse.  Whenever I actually get an opportunity to relax, I feel myself becoming stressed and sad so I find something else to do. I'm now always trying to keep myself busy in order to not get anxious but not taking the time to sleep and relax is obviously making the stress worse.  I feel like I'm in a bad loop where I have to keep myself busy all the time but I'm stressed out over not having enough time to relax.  I haven't talked to anybody about this. Any advice is appreciated!  Thank you.",0.5572,positive,prepared
706,MentalHealthSupport,I have to keep myself busy to not get sad but the stress from not relaxing is taking a toll on me.,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. I’m a junior in high school, so I get it. Homework and managing it sucks, for sure. Don’t be afraid to give yourself a short break if you need to. May I ask what stresses you and makes you sad?",-0.4767,negative,questioning
706,MentalHealthSupport,I have to keep myself busy to not get sad but the stress from not relaxing is taking a toll on me.,speaker,3,Thank you. I don't know. I really don't have any idea why I'm stressed out even when I have nothing to do. It's like stress won't go away whatever I do.,-0.0516,negative,lonely
706,MentalHealthSupport,I have to keep myself busy to not get sad but the stress from not relaxing is taking a toll on me.,listener_1,4,"Ok. You need to talk with your friends about this. Keeping it all a secret is doing nothing to help you, it will only make things worse. Go to your school counselor as well, they’ll be able to help you or refer you to someone else in the building who can",0.3699,positive,agreeing
707,MentalHealthSupport,Alone,speaker,1,"I just feel like I have no strong friendships left. No one has a strong bond with me, shares my perspectives or bounces energy off mine.  I feel like the odd one out but not in the sense of me wanting to blend in to the crowd just that I am craving that feeling of trust, mutual love and someone to rely on emotionally and for fun.  I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years so a lot of my close friends and I have drifted which I know is normal but my closest friend moved away a year ago and I guess I’ve been feeling this way since then but now it’s impossible to ignore.  My boyfriend and I have always had vastly differing perspectives/personalities and on top of that I’m feeling a distance from him as of late too.  I’m finding it hard to work and study because I just feel so sad and alone.  How can I get away from this feeling?",0.9657,positive,lonely
707,MentalHealthSupport,Alone,listener_1,2,"Honestly, I've felt the exact same way. I didn't know how to put it into words, so I came here. The last time it happened to me, I just ended up having to wait for my environment around me to change. At this point, I'm just trying to find some temporary internet friends/communities. In the meantime, I'd recommend focusing on what you love doing, instead of the people around you. Or, you could try talking to them about it. Whatever works for you.",0.8658,positive,trusting
707,MentalHealthSupport,Alone,speaker,3,Yeah I think I’ll just focus on my studies and take a break from social gatherings. It’s sending me into a panic feeling so sad so I think I need some time to just breathe and not think about it.,-0.6115,negative,lonely
708,MentalHealthSupport,Misdiagnosed because I was “Too Young” to have something else,speaker,1,"When it comes to my mental health, it’s all over the place and I’ll never have definite answers for it all, but the one thing that’s been weighing on my mind is how many years I lived with a misdiagnosis.  Here’s a little more context: I’ve been having Mental Health issues as early as I can remember but I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 14 when I was hospitalized after an attempt. I was written off as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and me being the little informative nut that I am I did more research on it and I always felt like it never fit. I was experiencing things that people with MDD hadn’t or it was never recorded with it, and I started to look at different disorders.  I didn’t want to self-diagnose myself (because we all know how annoying that is) but I really wanted an answer because I was doing therapy as well as medication, but they never helped. It either only worked for a period of time, or it did nothing but make me sick. I went to both my psychiatrist and psychologist and begged for a re-evaluation. But kept getting written off because I was 16 when I was asking and doing this research.  It wasn’t until my dad lost his job and had to switch insurance companies did I get a re-evaluation. I switched from some private insurance to Kaiser, and I wanted to tell them that I already had a diagnosis, but because of some technicalities I had to get re-evaluated. So, whatever, right? I wanted this to happen.  It turns out, that not only was I misdiagnosed, I had multiple different disorders. I am now officially diagnosed as being on the bipolar spectrum, possessing Borderline Personality Traits, as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  So tl;dr I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14, and I wanted to get another evaluation done because it wasn’t helping and was denied that request.  Has this happened to anyone else?",-0.9796,negative,ashamed
709,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I can't control myself,speaker,1,"My boyfriend and I had been together almost 4 years (our anniversary is September 29) and we broke up this week. Well, it's a cloudy line between broken up and taking a break. I haven't always been the most honest with him throughout the years, but we both know we need therapy and counseling. We are working on ourselves individually. I'm hoping and praying we get back together. We love each other and we each are moving back in with our parents. He's already at his. I've been in our apartment alone and I feel like a ghost. My world has been turned completely upside down and it feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from. I'm losing my mind. I have to uproot my life by myself and it's so weird and horrible. This apartment that I loved with the man I love has become a hollow empty shell. I can't stand this! We keep contact, but it's not enough. He's my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me, but my lying and mental health have ruined it. I also make extremely impulsive and dangerous decisions. Advice?",0.9592,positive,hopeful
709,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I can't control myself,listener_1,2,"Your heartache is palpable in these words. Sorry you are hurting. If you really love him, then that love is worth fighting for. Do what you need to apologize, re-build trust, and reconnect. It will be worth the humility and effort to live without the regret of wishing you had done something.",0.9316,positive,sympathizing
709,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I can't control myself,speaker,3,"I'm doing everything I can without being pushy to keep him. It sucks because the ball is in his court. I'm looking forward to loving myself, but I'm afraid I won't end up back with him in the end.",0.2748,positive,guilty
709,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I can't control myself,speaker,4,"Thank you. You're very much right. He wants me to be the woman we both know I can be. He wants me to be successful and happy. And I want the same for him. I'm excited about the journey to self love, but I'm so scared he won't be at the finish line.",0.4288,positive,agreeing
710,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,speaker,1,"Hi all.   I have depression and anxiety.   I’ve been making really great progress over the last few months- and have been doing so much better.   But the last week or so, my anxiety has skyrocketed and I’m having an extremely difficult time attending my classes. I’m a theatre major in classes of 20 students or less- so yes, my attendance is pertinent and heavily affects my grades.   I’m still taking all my medication, attending therapy weekly, I have a good support system in place, and I’ve been working extremely hard on healthy habits (sleep, eating, exercise)  Any advice? Tips? Words of encouragement? I really need some help right now.",0.9686,positive,anxious
710,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,listener_1,2,"It's just a bump. You'll get those from time to time and since you're doing all the right things it should pass if you don't give it more power than it deserves.  That said it's hard when you're in the midst of it, so it would be worth having a chat to your instructors about what's going on. Sometimes just knowing you *can* leave means you won't need to because it reduces a lot of the anxiety right there.  You can do this. You've come this far already which means you have anxiety by the balls, and it's just trying to make you think you're failing when you're actually doing really well.  You've got this!",-0.5104,negative,suggesting
710,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,listener_2,3,"I read in a book somewhere that as long as you do what you know you should do, then you're not depressed.  This is somehow true - just keep attending class and do your daily obligations for a better life. Like said above, it's just a bump. power through it and good luck! don't let your hard work go to waste. fuck depression and anxiety nobody should feel that way.",0.6898,positive,wishing
711,MentalHealthSupport,"I can't control myself or change myself at all and when I try, it goes down in a day.",speaker,1,"I always take games too seriously. Just got back into the game and I can't stop venting in the damn chat. People made fun of me cause games with multiplayer are just circlejerks filled with 11 year old children going with their ""Rekt noob haha WM1"" shit and then 0.01% people who can help you. Everyone redirects me to a therapist. And I've always wanted to visit one cause of my problems. I vented to multiple places, yes. People started rejecting me cause it was interrupting them in all possible ways. People wanted to ban me or just bash me until I leave myself. I have no idea now. Earlier I used to get mad at others, but in hopes of ""solving"" it I started telling that it's me being bad. And look at this now. EVERY. DAMN. GAME. THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAMN GAME I PLAY. THIS APPLIES TO REAL LIFE AS WELL CAUSE WE HAVE SOCCER IN SCHOOL AND I CAN'T EVEN PLAY PROPERLY. I'm such a mistake. I can't visit a therapist now cause I've caught a flu and its symptoms are almost gone, but they could come back cause if cold affects my throat, then I'd get sicker. We don't have therapists that come home. Our medicine is fucked up and corrupt since our country sucks ass. Swearing and venting are probably my top priorities sometimes. Tilts affect me REALLY HARD. And, again, that wasn't happening before. I don't know who I am now. Some attention seeker? Did my parents affect me?   What is it????",-0.9888,negative,annoyed
711,MentalHealthSupport,"I can't control myself or change myself at all and when I try, it goes down in a day.",speaker,2,"And oh man, I got fucked up again cause someone keeps going at me with their ""just practice if nothing works"" bullshit. And then people upvote this cause they are the ones laughing at me probably cause my problems are nothing compared to others. My parents compared me to others too much that I've forgotten how to really be proud of myself sometimes.",0.1656,positive,embarrassed
711,MentalHealthSupport,"I can't control myself or change myself at all and when I try, it goes down in a day.",speaker,3,"I've followed the ""take a break"" advice and i ended up doing the same again. I've just came back to that game today.",0.0,neutral,disappointed
711,MentalHealthSupport,"I can't control myself or change myself at all and when I try, it goes down in a day.",speaker,4,"I had fun before when I won the round by taking all the control points. I felt soooo good. And then, a game later, I'm at the bottom of the pit again. This has happened to me a lot when I won and then, a game later, started losing again.",0.9001,positive,devastated
712,MentalHealthSupport,I’m really struggling here. Im a compulsive liar,speaker,1,I’m really trying to fight the urge to lie but its so hard. Its a crutch and a mask at the same time. I don’t want to be evil or a bad person and i fear i am. You cant talk to anyone about it because they will never believe you again. I got myself stuck in a lie at school and now i feel trapped. No one found out yet and it wasn’t even a big deal but im fucking sobbing. I need help or atleast someone to talk to. Im so anxious i feel like a horrible person. Please help im so sorry for everything,-0.9841,negative,ashamed
712,MentalHealthSupport,I’m really struggling here. Im a compulsive liar,listener_1,2,"My best advice is to own up to the lie. It's done, and yes it'll affect people trusting you, but that's going to happen whether you admit the lie or not. At least by owning up to it you can start to repair the damage.  You mention school so I'm working on the assumption that you're in your teens still. This is a good time to change the choices you make before they really start to mess your life up.  My ex is a compulsive liar and in the beginning he owned up to the lies and it didn't bother me too much at that stage because they were small and he admitted to them, but they kept happening and getting bigger and bigger until he was lying about really important stuff and even convincing himself that what he was saying was true.  That's where you'll end up if you don't take steps to nip this in the bud.  At the moment you're still feeling remorse, so it's not too late. Lying is a habit that begins because the truth can seem boring or inconvenient, right through to downright scary. If you want people to trust you, though, you need to start being honest.  It's going to take time to build the trust, but if you're consistent then others will start to forget that you weren't always reliable.",0.8595,positive,trusting
712,MentalHealthSupport,I’m really struggling here. Im a compulsive liar,speaker,3,I don’t know. Ive thought about it so much and promised not to lie again because it hurts me and the people around me. But every single time I just go back to lying,-0.6973,negative,ashamed
712,MentalHealthSupport,I’m really struggling here. Im a compulsive liar,listener_2,4,"Honesty feels vulnerable because accountability and owning up to one's own actions takes courage and endurance. Lying feels easier in the short term, but harder in the long term. Tolerate a little discomfort up front by being honest, or tolerate a lot of discomfort later by spinning a web of lies.",-0.5804,negative,trusting
713,MentalHealthSupport,Online psychiatry,speaker,1,Has anyone tried this? Is it expensive and reliable? My schedule is crazy busy right now and I also hate going into doctors offices.,-0.755,negative,questioning
713,MentalHealthSupport,Online psychiatry,listener_1,2,"I tried it, and while I could afford it I loved it. Not only did we have sessions but I could contact my therapist while I was having a breakdown at any point in the week. I used betterhelp and I would love to go back. Also they give financial aid if the expenses worry you see if you qualify for a discount.",0.6597,positive,grateful
713,MentalHealthSupport,Online psychiatry,listener_2,3,What website did you use?,0.0,neutral,questioning
713,MentalHealthSupport,Online psychiatry,listener_1,4,Betterhelp.com,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
714,MentalHealthSupport,And I'm struggling to hold myself back again. Fuck everything.,speaker,1,"So I've played the same game again and I feel shit again. I'm so fucking mad that I non-stop vent in the chat even after unbinding all the chat keys. I yell IRL cause of that, too. I want to fucking stop. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE PROBLEMS ON EACH STEP. IT FUCKING HURTS ME. I WILL NEVER LEARN HOW TO CONTROL MYSELF CAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I WANT TO FORCR MYSELF TO CHANGE THIS SHIT AND IT ONLY GETS WORSE. I EVEN WANTED TO TAPE MY MOUTH SO I COULDN'T YELL. WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS? CAUSE I FEEL MAD. WHY DO I FEEL MAD? CAUSE I'M TOO FUCKING FURSTRATED BY MY GAMEPLAY AND OTHERS KILLING ME ALL THE TIME IN THE GAME. TRY ANOTHER GAME? FUCK NO, THAT HAPPENS TO ANYTHING THAT HAS WINNERS AND LOSERS. AND I WILL ALWAYS BE A FUCKING LOSER. HOW DO I HELP MYSELF? I TRIED TALKING WITH MY PARENTS SO I COULD VISIT A PSYCHIATRIST AND THEY TELL ME TO GO TO A FUCKING MENTAL ASULYM.",-0.9936,negative,angry
714,MentalHealthSupport,And I'm struggling to hold myself back again. Fuck everything.,speaker,2,And now my legs feel cold and are partly shaking.,-0.1045,negative,anxious
714,MentalHealthSupport,And I'm struggling to hold myself back again. Fuck everything.,speaker,3,School help won't work out for me since the psychiatrists in school didn't keep it private.,0.4019,positive,disappointed
714,MentalHealthSupport,And I'm struggling to hold myself back again. Fuck everything.,speaker,4,Ukraine. Dunno if its first world or not.,0.0,neutral,surprised
714,MentalHealthSupport,And I'm struggling to hold myself back again. Fuck everything.,listener_1,5,"Hmmm, I don't know enough about the system there to give you any practical advice.  You could try r/Ukraine, or if you're afraid of someone finding out, I can ask on your behalf?",0.0,neutral,suggesting
715,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fine in the day but at night life doesnt seem real,speaker,1,"Over the past month or so I'm completely fine during the day. Once I'm home from work I find it hard to do anything but watch TV and eat.  Last night I spent 7-9 in my bed not knowing if my life was real. I got out, took a shower, and spent 10-? in my bed wanting to eat something until I fell asleep.  I feel completely fine in the day.  I take 15mg Lexapro for my anxiety and OCD if that makes a difference",0.2658,positive,content
715,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fine in the day but at night life doesnt seem real,listener_1,2,"I could be wrong here, but it might be schizophrenia. One of the big symptoms is being unable to tell what’s real and what isn’t",-0.2617,negative,afraid
715,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fine in the day but at night life doesnt seem real,speaker,3,"I dont think it's that, there's no voices in my head telling me what to do. I'm not seeing anything weird.",-0.1734,negative,afraid
715,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fine in the day but at night life doesnt seem real,speaker,4,"Thank you.  I usually play video games at night, but for the past couple months I find it so difficult to choose to play games other than lying in bed.  When I do manage to sit in my chair, I can play games no doubt, but getting myself out of bed is the tough one.",-0.1019,negative,proud
715,MentalHealthSupport,I'm fine in the day but at night life doesnt seem real,listener_2,5,"I get that. So lay in bed. That's fine. Just don't allow your thoughts to start spiraling in the meantime. Keep it simple. Don't think too much.   But once in a while, just force yourself to take a short walk outside. I used to (and still do sometimes) do the same thing you describe. I feel like a mummy. When I do manage to get out of bed I blankly wander around my house for a short amount of time before I end up back in bed. The night air will do you some good. Even if it's just a 10 minute walk, it's a huge step and accomplishment. Plus, it breaks up the night, and the repetitive cycle you've fallen into. Give it a try.",0.6561,positive,lonely
716,MentalHealthSupport,Someone Please Explain,speaker,1,"Literally just got friendzoned by a girl I dont even like. Conversation goes as follows  Her:do you have a crush on me  Me(obviously dodging the question cause I dont like awkward situations): do you have one on me  Her: Naaaaah  I continue to explain to her that I dont have a crush on her as I think were just close friends and nothing more, but for some reason the friendzone still hurt a little. I dont even know why, it just does. This has my anxious mind racing everywhere to find an answer, so here I am.",-0.8029,negative,embarrassed
716,MentalHealthSupport,Someone Please Explain,listener_1,2,"I think everyone wants to be liked and crushed on, you might feel that way because you want someone to give you attention and care. You might also actually have a crush on her?",0.4404,positive,questioning
716,MentalHealthSupport,Someone Please Explain,speaker,3,"The sad thing is that I'm one of those super edgelord who doesnt expect anyone to actually ever care about them, so I dont know why this affects me so much. I fully expect no one to like me because I'm a bad person, and I've done bad things to good people",-0.0202,neutral,disappointed
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,speaker,1,"I’m all alone, no matter who says they care, no one is here with me that would blink twice if I wasn’t here. I feel bad for my family, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I failed them long ago.",-0.7742,negative,lonely
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,listener_1,2,"hi, how can i provide some support? would you like to talk about your problems or be distracted from them?",0.1179,positive,questioning
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,speaker,3,"Feel isolated all the time, oppressively lonely when im alone, but when im interacting with people, i want to get away by myself",-0.3506,negative,lonely
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,speaker,4,Sadness fades. Theyll grow as people. Might be the best thing i ever do for them.,0.3182,positive,sad
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,listener_2,5,"The sadness does not fade, my friend took his life 3 yrs ago, he just turned 30.  It's so hard to accept that no matter how much I tried to be there for him, it still wasn't enough, I cannot imagine how alone he felt when he decided to do it.  I visit his grave often, and I think of him all the time, everytime I hear a song, see someone who looks like him, or when I'm experiencing a happy moment in life and he is not around to enjoy it with me. You may not think that people care, even though you feel alone, someone cares deeply, they wish they could get closer if you just give them the chance.  Please don't do it, think about the people who care for you, get through today, tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities.  Try to recognize when someone is trying to connect with you, and let them in, even if you're out of your comfort zone.",0.9508,positive,sentimental
717,MentalHealthSupport,Might hang myself tonight.,listener_3,6,Life can suck sometimes i know and it feels like we would be better of not being a part of it all but every situation is temporary dont make a permant decision to a temporary situation,0.1901,positive,agreeing
718,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling to get a bipolar diagnosis,speaker,1,"I'm a graduate student in biophysics. I study signaling networks. For the last couple months I suspect I've been having a mixed manic episode (racing thoughts and grandiosity and everything, but self-conscious enough about how much of a fucking asshole I sound like when I get that way to the point where I'd just not talk at all when I'd start getting manic since I knew people would be able to tell something was wrong with me). A decent amount of time back, I went on bupropion. I felt pretty good for the first week or so and then I just stopped eating and sleeping and just got really fixated and high energy. I didn't recognize it as a manic episode then, because that's just the only state I've even been in when I get any work done.     I recently started on mirtazapine (like maybe a month ago). About a week ago, I broke out from the mixed state I was in and got really manic around a friend. I didn't realize that was what was going on then, but I saw the text he sent from my phone to the roommate who picked me up, and I confirmed it with him and the roommates who saw me that night. I'm still having the racing thoughts and everything now and I'm just trying to keep it together well enough that I don't get myself committed.     I finally got to see a psychiatrist the other day (more than a week after the part of the incident that was obvious to other people) and she tried to tell me that I'm just anxious. I've had anxiety attacks before and this is not the same thing. I'm anxious, but it's because I'm having to be hyperaware of how close I am to losing my grasp on reality right now in order not to. She straight told me she didn't think I was having a manic episode because people usually get committed when that happened, which is both a ridiculous reading of the data and not at all a helpful statement to someone having a manic episode. I thought it had been tapering off a little but I woke up this morning really fucking weird again.     How do I navigate this situation? I feel like I can't win. If I'm too measured, I'm apparently mentally healthy, but if I let it show how bad I am, I'm likely to end up held against my will, which won't alleviate any of the stress that triggered this crisis in the first place (and will likely exacerbate it).",-0.9548,negative,ashamed
718,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling to get a bipolar diagnosis,listener_1,2,"I deal with anxiety and started bupropion a while back, couldn't handle it my adrenaline was insane.  I also have bad depressive episodes.  My psych prescribed lamictal which is a mood stabilizer used to treat bipolar II.  Didn't actually diagnose me with bipolar, and I don't think I am bipolar as I don't have manic episodes just anxiety..  I just found it weird that I was prescribed a mpod stabilizer for off label use and your doctor won't even try it out to see if it helps your situation...  I'd get a second opinion.",-0.765,negative,apprehensive
718,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling to get a bipolar diagnosis,speaker,3,"I'm working on getting a second opinion, but I fear this is going to be an issue with anyone I talk to until they know me quite well and the stars align correctly for me to be able to get in to see them while I'm manic. Now that the mania is starting to fade, I'm struggling to explain what's been happening to me in anything but the most detached and clinical of ways, which seems to make people not trust my judgment. I think I gave the therapist I saw in the first couple of days that the manic episode started a pretty clear picture of what was happening to me, but there seemed to be very little communication by them and the psychiatrist at the same practice.   I do finally seem to be starting to crash, but it's really scary. Everyone else thought I was fine well before I was. This sort of thing has been happening to me for my whole life, so I'm good at acting in control for periods of time where I'm observed even though I know for a fact I'm going to entirely run on my lizard brain the second I'm alone or when my guard is sufficiently down. It's honestly just become a fucking compulsion to lie about how concerned I am about the ways I might end up getting myself in trouble with my combination of impulse control and addiction issues.",-0.634,negative,apprehensive
718,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling to get a bipolar diagnosis,listener_1,4,Wow. I've never experienced mania nor witnessed it (at least I don't think I have) so I don't know first hand how serious it is. I can't imagine. I hope you find someone who takes you seriously. Hang in there.,-0.3036,negative,hopeful
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,speaker,1,"Had trouble making friends, holding basic conversations, feared to be the center of attention, constantly felt like a person I was talking to was reading my mind when we made eye contact, could not stay in the moment, my mind filled with insecurities and negative ""voices"" every waking moment. Let's not even mention trying to approach girls.  After trying out different things and working hard on it the past 5 years, I finally got over what I thought I'd be stuck with the rest of my then miserable life. I wish someone was there to tell me how to go about managing and curing SAD when I was still young and had plenty of opportunities ahead of me, that I then missed because of my illness.  I decided to help others who are still struggling and are unable to reach their full potential because of it. I want to help you skip over all these years I had been trying to figure out what's wrong with me and then how to fix it. I always dreamt about helping people with this affliction as I know how difficult and how miserable it makes your life from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep day after day.  After thinking about it for a while I decided to start my own website with various content (articles only for now - might expand in the future) about my experiences, summaries of the information and scientific papers about sad, depression and mental health, in general, I read over the years and ways of managing and ultimately crushing it.  The website is called [sadbuster.info](https://sadbuster.info)  This is the first time I've decided to write and post publicly so your feedback would be extremely welcome. If you like any of the articles please let me know, and if you want to see more and on any specific topic shoot me a PM or comment here/on the website and I will see what I can do.  Enjoy and stay strong my friends. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.",-0.8604,negative,ashamed
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,listener_1,2,I haven't checked out the site yet but definitely will. Just want to say thank you for giving it back to the community. All the best to your brave and loving soul!,0.9824,positive,wishing
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,speaker,3,"Thank you. I know how hard the struggle can be, and even the ones that love us most, often don't understand it, because they have never been through it themselves. That's why I think it's important those of us who experienced it themselves and managed to overcome it share their journeys.",0.7906,positive,caring
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,listener_1,4,"Follow up. Just had a quick look.   I like how the articles are put into the 4 groups, which makes it easier for a focused read.   I'm on mobile so not really sure about the interface but from what I got it's easy to navigate and I love the minimalistic approach. I'm curious about the order of appearance for the articles on the home page though. Also, the font style for the title is fine but for longer text it's quite tiring to the eyes. Or maybe it's just me.  I read your story and would recommend others to read it first before going in other articles on the site. I cannot say I resonate with it since I'm not officially diagnosed but it sure provides insights, self-reflection and an overview on the project's drives, orientation and possible growth.  Again thank you so much for putting this out there.",0.9827,positive,impressed
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,speaker,5,"Thank you so much, comments like yours mean a lot to me. I'll see what I can do about the font first thing tomorrow :) I'll be uploading more articles too tomorrow if you wanna check them out. I think it's also important for neurotypical people to understand the illness better as there is a lot of gaps in awareness about it and unintentional suffering caused because of them.",0.7322,positive,wishing
719,MentalHealthSupport,22 year old who suffered from social anxiety and depression his entire life. I finally conquered it.,speaker,6,"Thank you so much, sending much love",0.7717,positive,wishing
720,MentalHealthSupport,Any tips on dealing with internalized biphobia?,speaker,1,"I had come out as bisexual last year and I still feel a great deal of denial and confusion over my identity. I hate my sexuality and whenever I like a guy I feel like me liking girls isn't valid since I used to identify as lesbian. I'm so worried that no one believes me and just thinks I'm saying I'm bisexual to be trendy, which I dont think I am because I've genuinely liked both guys and girls. I just feel like I should choose a gender to like and go with it because my sexuality feels fake.",0.6451,positive,apprehensive
720,MentalHealthSupport,Any tips on dealing with internalized biphobia?,listener_1,2,"I'm sorry, I don't have any advice. I can't begin to understand the conflict and confusion you described, as I haven't felt it in that context before. However, I felt compelled to make sure you know that societal expectations are less important than your own self definition. It's certainly easier said than done, but love who want without worrying what someone not in the relationship will think. They dont get to have a say. Hang in there. This isn't the end of the road. :)",0.9433,positive,sympathizing
720,MentalHealthSupport,Any tips on dealing with internalized biphobia?,speaker,3,Thank you :),0.6705,positive,wishing
720,MentalHealthSupport,Any tips on dealing with internalized biphobia?,speaker,4,That's a very interesting way of looking at things,0.4576,positive,acknowledging
720,MentalHealthSupport,Any tips on dealing with internalized biphobia?,listener_2,5,Just all of this. You sir should be proud of the head on your shoulders.,0.4767,positive,impressed
720,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,listener_3,1,"Can teenagers& adults suffer from separation anxiety?  I had googled separation anxiety and the world “ kids” caught me off guard, is it only during ones younger years that this only happens ?",-0.7399,negative,questioning
720,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,listener_2,2,No. It's entirely dependent on the person. If you care about someone and are separated from them its perfectly natural to dislike that.,0.8074,positive,agreeing
720,MentalHealthSupport,Separation anxiety,listener_3,3,"Okay thank you. I was just confused, and was wondering if what I was experiencing was something else.",0.2732,positive,sympathizing
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,speaker,1,"I have very few friends. The friends I do have dont even respond to me for weeks. I try to pretend it doesnt bother me, but inside I'm dying. I try making new friends, but they never last more than a couple months. Its tearing me apart inside and idk what to do.",0.7968,positive,lonely
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,listener_1,2,"Just hmu if  you need a friend or someone to talk to, any platform is alright man, I feel you man, I've been there.",0.6369,positive,agreeing
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,speaker,3,"I dont want another hobby. I cant really afford one. I love videogames but most of the groups here are really toxic. I'm also in a small town, and not from here, so people treat me like a foreigner to begin with.",0.866,positive,annoyed
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,listener_2,4,"Do you work? If so, try getting closer with coworkers. Have you tried becoming friends with neighbors?",0.5362,positive,questioning
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,speaker,5,I work from home and my neighbors speak a different language. We had a bbq once but that's it.,0.0,neutral,lonely
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,speaker,6,I'm in that same boat. Do you play PC games by chance?,0.5267,positive,questioning
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,listener_2,7,"Maybe see if there are any events going on in your town soon. It would be a good way to get out of the house, and try to meet some new people",0.4404,positive,suggesting
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,listener_3,8,No:/,0.0,neutral,afraid
721,MentalHealthSupport,No man is an island.,speaker,9,Just asking cuz you said your hobby is solitary.,0.0,neutral,neutral
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,speaker,1,"I have the third ultrasound in a couple of hours and I can feel the baby kicking away.  It's the first time in this pregnancy that I haven't been scared and anxious before an ultrasound. I absolutely looked forward to each one with my son, but two miscarriages in between and seeing the dead baby on the screen kinda wrecked it for me.  But this time, I can feel him kicking, and I know from previous ultrasounds that he's developing normally (no placenta pravia, no amniotic banding, spine and brain developing well, ten fingers and toes, etc) so I'm actually looking forward to this one.  I'm 26 weeks.",-0.7843,negative,apprehensive
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,listener_1,2,Congratulations! Something like that is truly joyful🎶 Many Blessings to you  and your little life 🐣,0.9516,positive,wishing
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,speaker,3,"😁  He's going to be a big baby, already approximately 1.2kg (2.6lb) at 26 weeks! But he's healthy and developing well.  My first was 3.5kg (7.11lb) at term!",0.8309,positive,surprised
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,listener_2,4,That’s so good to hear! Wish you all the best with this journey and for all the sleepless nights coming your way with your little angel!!,0.8994,positive,wishing
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,speaker,5,">for all the sleepless nights coming your way  Won't lie, not excited about this part lmao",0.6875,positive,agreeing
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,listener_2,6,"Hahahaha well regardless, it’s all worth it, isn’t it..",0.4588,positive,neutral
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,speaker,7,"I'm truly sorry for your sister and your family (it doesn't just affect the parents), i wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone.  I'm glad I didn't give up even though I nearly lost my mind through the losses (I woke up screaming after the D&C, I never wake up screaming from anaesthetic!). There's healing in a healthy pregnancy.  I had a miscarriage at 19 which was 17 years before my son was born, and apparently it's pretty common in a first pregnancy. I hope your brother and SIL get their rainbow down the track.",0.5307,positive,sympathizing
722,MentalHealthSupport,Finally enjoying pregnancy,speaker,8,It definitely is :D,0.7739,positive,agreeing
723,MentalHealthSupport,Fear of future,speaker,1,"As the title says I have a fear of future. I feel like this fear is becoming gradualy worse and I'm at the point of contemplating suicide from time to time. I'm afraid I'll be a f**k up, I'm afraid I won't have enough money and I'm afraid someone dear will die and it will hurt so much. Everytime I try to work for the life and the future I want I think that what I want is exagerated and a very common wish that a lot of people don't get (to become rich) . I am really afraid of 9-5 jobs because I see my parents' life and it just seems so boring. Also, everytime I want to work to achieve my dream (like cultivate a talent or something) I realize I have no talents, no new revolutionary ideas and I do nothing beside sit and play all day or hang out with friends. All this future thing is really pressing me. Thank you so much if you read through this. I had to tell this to someone. If you know how to help me or how I can help myself please tell me because I want this fear to end.",0.4513,positive,afraid
723,MentalHealthSupport,Fear of future,listener_1,2,"Fear of the future is an inevitable fear many face but more for some than others. I think something that helped me deal with this was reading an article sometime last year (I dont remember the title or author name so sorry I can't link it!) It told me that I should stop trying to imagine myself in a position were I am special, because most likely than not that is just a fantasy that has been pushed into my mind, especially this capitalist idea that productivity=value, I dont really adhere to that view. I don't need to get a soul sucking job in business to make a 6 figure income (dont worry about becoming rich because it will only be at the expense of others), I dont need to get a job where I am famous or change the world in some way if I know that's not exactly in my power to do so, I am okay with being a follower, to at least be apart of the crowd of people that do actively want to change the world, I dont need to lead it. At most, you need to figure out what you enjoy in the moment and focus on cultivating your interests and how you could possibly land a career in this, this is how I came to the decision that I want to get into education or look for a job such as editing or a non profit organization, where I can help others in some way even if it's just small changes, I would love to be that person to someone else just how my high school history teacher was to me. To the part about fearing the death of a loved one, that's an existential problem that's also not much you can do about except think less of if you can, which is hard because the agonizing pain you may feel when you think your mom is going to die in the near future is very real, but I just try to remind myself that what matters most is in the moment. I try and find small beauty and happiness in the people I talk to, the friends I have, the movies I watch, the food I eat and this helps minimize the stress from large life goals.",0.9705,positive,apprehensive
723,MentalHealthSupport,Fear of future,speaker,3,Thank you for your answer,0.3612,positive,grateful
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,speaker,1,"As I was rushing from school to get to the art school in a kind of a positive mood I had it ruined by a parent of mine on the way there. This was technically my first day in the new semester. I couldn't catch on earlier cause of a flu and the time when I leave the school at. It's just kinda not fitting with the time when I have to come to the art school. I saw how everyone did the colouring and all, and it was WAAAY better than mine. I got sad cause I felt useless, not being able to do it right. My teacher supported me on the same topic a lot before, but I can't seem to drop it. I always compare myself to others in art. Then, I came back late, and for knocking the door hard cause I thought none was there, my mom aruged with me. Then, my parents argued with me cause I didn't want to do homework just yet. And then I forgot to tell them that I need at least 2 - 3 hours of rest so my brain can understand the studying material better. Plus an extra hour or two for all the stress I had. It's just sickening. My grandma always argues with me over all this. She's always the first one to yell. Then, I actually started to study. Finished the probably least hard homework first. Then, I have this fucking long ass text I have to read, but I have to read 5 chapters of it. And it's still TOO FUCKING MUCH. C'mon. School only started a few weeks ago. Not even a month and THAT. I've been home for a week cause I was sick. I called the people I know the best and asked them about the homework. And none answered. None knew. Some people were always busy/were sick themselves and didn't go to school for a long time as well. This is just too much pressure. On the last lesson which was history, we had a test. None was really looking, so I went stealthy and started googling the questions. I helped the entire class that way. And now, every time I mentiom that I don't care about bad grades, my grandma goes apeshit.",-0.97,negative,annoyed
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. You need to call CPS if your mom is abusing you. You don’t deserve it, and it can mess things up in the future. Try your best to focus on the good parts of the day, no matter how small, as if all you did today was play a game with your friend",0.8841,positive,faithful
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,speaker,3,She didn't really abuse me. The punch wasn't hard. I'd rathee have that than be an orphan.,0.5968,positive,neutral
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,listener_1,4,You also need to think about your future. Abuse can really mess you up if you don’t get out of it,-0.7902,negative,apprehensive
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,speaker,5,But I don't want to have a terrible past either.,-0.6687,negative,neutral
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,listener_1,6,"You can’t change your past, but you can change your future",0.0,neutral,hopeful
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,speaker,7,"And I got into an argument with my mom again. She took away my phone and told me not to use my pc. Then I thought of feeding my parrots, but she told me that she's selling them. And then she got into an argument with my aunt over a small thing. Then my grandma blamed me and I told her that he makes me anxious. My mom always goes apeshit over small things. I remember flipping over a water feeding box in my parrots' by accident. And then she screamed at me and shit like I did the biggest mistake in my life. It was 12 AM and she had plans but I apparently destroyed her plans. In the end, I felt anxious and cried. I took my phone back cause it was necessary for homework use. What do I do? I still feel shit. I think she just doesn't want me most of the time.",-0.9914,negative,angry
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,listener_1,8,"I really wish I had all the answers for you. What I do know is that things won’t get any better. This is abusive, and you need to find a way out. I’m sorry, I wish I could help more",0.6997,positive,sympathizing
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,speaker,9,So I'm fucked?,-0.6887,negative,devastated
724,MentalHealthSupport,Another day full of shit.,listener_1,10,"No, but you do need to get help",0.5499,positive,neutral
725,MentalHealthSupport,Casual teen dilemma,speaker,1,"I want to be in a relationship but my anxiety gets in the way of that. For example, I was in a relationship with this guy I really liked but I had to break up with him because that made my anxiety worse and I just couldn't communicate that. There's currently a few people I'm interested in and want to get to know, but the thought of trying to communicate with them/figuring out if they like me makes me feel emotionally exhausted. How can I navigate relationships even with my emotional problems?",-0.1557,negative,anxious
725,MentalHealthSupport,Casual teen dilemma,listener_1,2,"Do your very best to break away from any avoidance. Remember that it is okay to feel the way you are feeling. There are several techniques that can help with with anxiety through practice such as Mindfulness. Maybe download the headspace app; listen to the concept and try to develop a mindset of focussing on the here and now rather than worrying about things that have happened in the past or things that may or may not happen in the future. Grade your approach to talking to these people if it feels intense at first. Build up from a few lines of text a day, to progressing to phone calls and then conversation in person. Give yourself time to feel comfortable with a person you're interested in, make sure you feel safe in their company and open up and explain your insecurities when you feel ready so you can tackle them together.   All the best and remember if you do find that your anxiety is getting the better of you speak to a registered medical professional.",0.9657,positive,anxious
725,MentalHealthSupport,Casual teen dilemma,speaker,3,"OK, thank you!",0.4199,positive,acknowledging
726,MentalHealthSupport,"I tried looking after 4 baby orphaned voles and I woke up to them all dead, I feel so awful!",speaker,1,"This couldn't of happened at a worse time.  I work in ecology, I've lately been on a construction site watching diggers making sure they don't get any animals, the other day the digger disturbed a voles nest, we found 4 tiny baby voles, I had to catch them because the whole area was being dug up, they had no where to run. I made them a nest and put them in a open cotton bag so the mum could come back, we never found the mum and the babies weren't taken away. Other ecologist said I could either leave them there or take them, I knew that leaving them there they wouldn't survive, they were too young and I've seen too many baby animals be killed on this site, so I took them. The other ecologists gave me advice and it seemed ok, they said they'd only need a few more days then they can be released. (To clarify, the babies had fur and eyes open, they were a bit too small to be independent yet).   The night I came home they seemed really good despite what they went through, I researched what to do and followed it, I spent the whole day yesterday looking after them, checking the temperature of the room, feeding them and helping them go the toilet every 2-3 hours, they stopped wanting milk and started eating the plants and an apple I gave them, I was starting to think one more day and I can let them go. But then, this morning I woke up to them all dead.  All of them, I don't know what the hell happened!   I had to tell my boyfriend when he woke up, and he was confused because he said he checked on them in the night and they seemed fine, they started moving around when he went to check up on them.   I have no idea what I did wrong, but I clearly did something wrong. I killed them and I feel so awful!  It has brought me back to this feeling of being pathetic, I mess up everything I touch. Every job I try to do never lasts long, everything I try to do successfully never takes off or goes anywhere, I always mess up everything I touch.  What are the ecologist going to think of me? They're going to be so disappointed in me, they'll look down on me for what I did, if anyone knew they'd be ashamed of me. My job was to save them and I couldn't do that!   I've got so much going on, I'm going to be out of work after this week (my contract ends) and I've been applying to jobs and not had any luck, I'm jobless after next week and don't have much money anyway, I don't want to be in the ecology industry anymore and I have no idea what to do for the rest of my life or what I even can do, I'm living in London sharing a flat with my boyfriend so I can't leave and can't let him down either. I'm feeling so terrible, I feel especially awful after what's happened, those poor little voles!",-0.997,negative,caring
726,MentalHealthSupport,"I tried looking after 4 baby orphaned voles and I woke up to them all dead, I feel so awful!",listener_1,2,"I appreciate how much you tried to help these poor voles. It is very sweet. You cared more than any of the diggers at the construction site. You did your best to try to nurture them back to health. Sometimes things are just beyond saving, especially after such a traumatic disruption.  Don't stop caring. I hope you forgive yourself. I don't think it was your fault. It sounds like they were doomed either way. At least you showed them compassion in their final hours.",0.8725,positive,caring
726,MentalHealthSupport,"I tried looking after 4 baby orphaned voles and I woke up to them all dead, I feel so awful!",speaker,3,"Thank you, it feels so good to read this. I'm feeling slightly better now as I've spoken to my parents about what happened, and tried to figure out what happened, I'm now thinking they might have been unwell anyway and there was nothing I could do about that. I'm still feeling incredibly upset and I wish there was something I could do keep them going for longer, but again thank you for writing this, it's really helped!",0.8347,positive,grateful
726,MentalHealthSupport,"I tried looking after 4 baby orphaned voles and I woke up to them all dead, I feel so awful!",listener_2,4,I second every word of this. Well said.,0.3346,positive,agreeing
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,1,"life feels more like a burden other than something to look forward too and everything is overwhelming..  this started a year ago where i was feeling down most of the time besides a few outbursts of feeling good. this was also my first year in collegue studying electronic engeenering. I feel that this field doesnt really suit me mainly did to parents pressure. I am more intrested in psycologie pr english (ironic i know).I also inspire to be a song writer and singer or kust a musician in a band. But psycology universities in my country wich is  algeria. my mother says she would kick me out if i picked psycolgy adding immense pressure.everything is hard in unv and because I have no pation for it it makes feel terrible after studying i just hate it . my father after i told him that i might not want to go to college, he said i will go and have no other choice and said that he and my mother had made effort for me to get the best grades and what will people say if i just droped out. those worlds hurt me deeply i feel like i cant even controll my life so i have to do whatever it takes so people wont talk and say that i had a great life and great parents.they also say that studying psycology or english is a usless degree..  since i was young i got good math grades and stuff but wasnt really my pasion. so should i just do something just because i am good at it even if i dont like it. I had to force my self to study that stuff and kept pushing on keeping everything botteled up. my mother would hit me if I dont get perfect grades  even 9 out of 10 wasnt good enough.  she has had a hard childhood in her deffence she had to cary gas barrels when she was young while her perfectly healthy brothers and father sat at home.  she was also hit because of grades. she also had a crazy absuve war veteran father who used to fight with her mother all the time.I am not writing this to paint her as a villan .  recently we had an argument and she said that "" she wishes i was dead rather than talking back to her "" this wasnt the first time she wished i was dead. and when i told her that she has said that before. she said she doesnt regret saying it the first time. because in our old fashion culture children are supposed to accept abuse from parents physical or mental or else they are a bad kid and had no manners.she also said that she raised me and crying everytime i lost weight as a baby because i was born premature only for me to grow up and ddisobey here and call her crazy. wich i shouldnt have said .i said it after she stood next to my head yelling saying that she only gave birth to shitty kids i was silent for a few second but i couldnt take it anymore  since she said that my dark feelings double i feel like the world would be better off without me and  i wouldnt feel so overwelmed and under pressure and hurting all the time if i am dead.  i cut my self for the first time yesterday in the tub and it helped relieve some pent up emotions the cuts werent that deep but it felt like the only alternative to ending my life.  my mind feels cloudy i cant even think or feel straight i only feel mostly negative things and lost of my thoughts are bad.I also get headaches after feeling suicidal  i never thoughts i would be the kind of guy that would self harm or think of killing my self thats why i dont even recognize who i am anymore.  about two hours ago i stood on a ledge above the  train station and thoughts of ending at all there and then but couldnt manage to do it.  i dont know if there are any psycologists around my area because here people dont really take care of their mental health and think that psycologists are for crazy people.wich is why psyclogy is considered usless.  i dont plan in staying in this shithole of a place so i will either end it or leave the house . i plan on living abroad like the uk or smthing.  listening to music has helped me a little but especially bob dylans songs..",-0.9973,negative,disappointed
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,listener_1,2,"Hey man. Please, don’t hurt yourself, stop while you still can. The relief is only temporary, and it does more bad in the long run. You at some point need to follow your passions, your mom and dad will not control your life forever",-0.2006,negative,consoling
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,3,thank you  man it means alot,0.3612,positive,acknowledging
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,listener_1,4,"No problem. If you ever need to message me, please do",0.5511,positive,sympathizing
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,5,thank you that was a really thoughtfull reponse,0.3612,positive,acknowledging
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,listener_2,6,"I'm so happy to hear back from you and to hear that it helped! I feel what you do because I've been in a similar position, I studied art fist and always dreamed of being an artist or curator, once I got the degree I wasn't finding any jobs in art, so for my Masters I did a degree in Environmental Conservation to have a better chance getting jobs in something else I'm passionate in, turns out the ecology industry is a mess (in the uk) and I don't want to continue in it anymore (I've worked in ecology for 3 years now). Now I'm wanting to switch back to art again, but I feel pressure from my Masters Lecturer who is not going to be happy with me wanting to change, I feel pressure from all the money I spent studying my Masters which now feels like a waste, I feel pressure from my parents because I know how much money they gave me to help me get this Masters degree. My anxiety, stress and depression became so bad this year that I started going to therapy after having worrying thoughts, my therapist was amazing and that's how I learned so much that I value everyday, I remind myself that any bad situation I'm in won't last forever, it's always only temporary and I have to make boundaries to make my life what I want it to be. Now I want to go back into art again so I've made a plan. If it helps, writing down a plan helps whatever is in your head not be abstract anymore and you can start seeing (and feeling) that something can happen. It's also good to keep in mind an awful lot can change in a day, an awful lot can certainly change in a year!",-0.6355,negative,agreeing
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,7,thanks for sharing your story man. I actually barely passed my first year in elec eng so if i change now that year would have gone to waist. or i can continue for 3 years and get a minimal degree to get get my parents out of my hair. but i am wondering if i can take 2 more years of this,0.431,positive,neutral
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,listener_2,8,"Yeah it's such a difficult position to be in! Try writing down what the pros and cons are of staying or leaving, you mentioned that you'd be interested in getting more into music, is there a way you can balance the 2? There are different plans you can make, so that then you know you've got multiple options to get to where you want to be. Overall it's important to think of what makes you happy, other people's problems don't have to be yours, if your parents will be annoyed about you changing your direction then that's their problem (I know it feels harsh to say because they are your parents, but your life still comes first), is there a way you can sit down with them and have a really good chat about how you feel? And don't worry about if the course you're on will feel wasted, I get worries like that about my Masters, but I remind myself that I had some of the best times ever on that course, I learned so much, even though some of what I learned hasn't been that useful it was good at the time and I'm happy that time happened!",0.9463,positive,questioning
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,9,thank you man you are really helpfull i seem to be feeling better since yesterday so thanks,0.8638,positive,acknowledging
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,listener_2,10,"That's amazing! I'm so happy I helped, and more happy to hear you're feeling better!",0.9499,positive,acknowledging
727,MentalHealthSupport,feeling suicidal and having huge mood swings. i dont even know who I am I anymore tbh,speaker,11,well thank you wish more people in the world where like you,0.8316,positive,wishing
728,MentalHealthSupport,I'll never believe any of my friends actually like me,speaker,1,"One of my friends has to constantly remind me when I'm having anxiety attacks that he doesn't hate me. Even if he lets me hug him, laughs/ goes along with my jokes, and just in general doesn't try to push me away or ignore me, I feel like I'll never actually believe that he likes me, and that goes for all of my friends. No matter what they say, I will never believe them and at the first sign of hostility will automatically assume they hate me.",0.8138,positive,trusting
728,MentalHealthSupport,I'll never believe any of my friends actually like me,listener_1,2,"When you feel really anxious it is hard to feel loved because the two emotions are competing against each other. Your anxiety is full of fear of being abandoned and paranoia of being deceived or betrayed. Love, on the other hand, is a feeling of security and safety with a sense of trust and acceptance. If your anxiety is high, an expression of love by your friends can make you worry that they aren't being genuine or that they will just leave you in the end.  Unfortunately, this line of thinking can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy because it is harder for your friends to love someone who confronts their affection with suspicion and mistrust. To feel love, you have to relax into it. You have to quell your anxiety and worries and know that your friends really do love and care for you. If you let yourself feel that love, the anxiety will fade because, again, the two emotions (anxiety vs love) are incompatible. This fact can also work to your advantage. Know that you are worthy of love and if your friends express love for you, have the courage to trust it and feel it as real, even if you are scared that it might disappear one day. Each time you let it in, is one more day where you get to feel the warmth of friendship. Each time you resist in paranoia and suspicion is one more day where you don't. Figure out what is making you doubt your friends and get rid of that doubt. Meld into the feeling of trust and safety. You might get hurt sometimes, but you hurt all the time when you just spin out in anxiety and fear about an uncertain future. Let go of your resistance and don't be afraid to care and be cared for.  Notice and appreciate every kind word and gesture.",0.9881,positive,anxious
728,MentalHealthSupport,I'll never believe any of my friends actually like me,speaker,3,"Thank you, I'm really just worried that I'll end up overstepping and boundary and that will make LL of my friends leave me.",0.4445,positive,sympathizing
728,MentalHealthSupport,I'll never believe any of my friends actually like me,speaker,4,"Yeah, I'll try, thank you",0.5719,positive,acknowledging
729,MentalHealthSupport,What am I suffering? Symptoms,speaker,1,"Hello. I came here because I wanted to know what I've been having trouble with.  I have recently one of my best friends. I'm in middle school (6-8) so I'm having a lot of difficulty with it. During class, I sometimes have flashbacks of when I first found out and this is where everything starts to happen.   My chest feels tight, I can't breathe very well, my head hurts, I start tapping my foot on the ground really fast, my head starts to spin, and I start to cry. This feeling can last for a while, most of class, but I don't know what's happening.  I sometimes have random moments where I just start crying. Around certain people, I start smiling when I'm going through one of these emotion spikes. I can't help laughing even though I'm really sad.  Does anyone know what I'm experiencing? It's hard for me to reach out at this age because I feel like no one would believe me. Can anyone help?",-0.8142,negative,nostalgic
729,MentalHealthSupport,What am I suffering? Symptoms,listener_1,2,NAD. I'd see a therapist or a school counselor.  Sounds like anxiety.  But I can't diagnose you.  I'd see a doctor for that.,0.1027,positive,apprehensive
729,MentalHealthSupport,What am I suffering? Symptoms,speaker,3,"Every time I need a counselor, they're never available, but I have visited them 2 times when they could. Thank you for the idea, I guess I can ask them the next time I can go in.",0.5023,positive,grateful
730,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling worse everyday and I can’t kill myself because I have small children.,speaker,1,"I’ve struggled with depression on and off for as long as I can remember but I always kept it in check.   I’ve had suicidal thoughts nearly every for 3 years.   I’m a stay at home mom to a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old. Most responsibilities are on me. I left a job that I loved and moved 3 hours away from everyone I know for my husbands job. I’m alone most of the time. When I’m not alone, I’m with my husband or his parents. I’m often told that I’m crazy, I talk to much, I’m annoying or bizarre. Comments are made about the state of my house if literally anything is out of place (the house is 600 square feet. I have 2 kids. It’s never dirty but toys make their way to every room and it’s hard to keep up on laundry without a washer dryer. Other than that, the house is cleaned all day everyday. )  I’m tired of being told that I’m crazy but if I go on medication I’m treated like I’m weak. I’m tired of being alone and dismissed everytime I try to talk about how I’m feeling. I’m tired of finally being in a good mood and then told that I’m being annoying.   I don’t have a career and I don’t have a degree. After my kids start school I will be stuck in a retail/waitressing job. I don’t want to take out any more loans because we are already 100k in debt for my husbands schooling. I don’t feel like I’m a good role model for my kids and I just want to lay around and let them watch YouTube. They are unsocialized and I’m lazy.   I’ve thought about checking into a mental hospital but I don’t know what to do with my kids. I also don’t want to be seen as “the crazy woman that finally broke”.  The mental health institutions also have horrible reviews so I’m scared that it’ll be an awful experience.   I can’t kill my self at this point because my kids are old enough to be attached to me. If I was going to do it I should have done it months ago. I feel very trapped.",-0.9957,negative,lonely
730,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling worse everyday and I can’t kill myself because I have small children.,listener_1,2,Don’t worry what anyone thinks of you. Get help at all costs. You can’t kill yourself because THIS IS TEMPORARY.  Please don’t let the nonsense constructs of society keep you from getting well. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but there is hope. You may not see it not but literally fuck everyone else. Take care of you. Nothing else matters.,0.8725,positive,consoling
730,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling worse everyday and I can’t kill myself because I have small children.,speaker,3,"Thank you. I was prescribed Zoloft after crashing my car into a tree in December but I’m so bad about taking it. It’s not even because I forget. I set alarms but for some reason I just don’t take it. I fully support people to take action for themselves but for some reason I struggle to do it for myself. My mom and my sister are very depended on a whole list of medications and substances (adderall, Xanax, anti depressants, weed. Alcohol) and I guess maybe I’m a little afraid of not being able to function with out medication?",-0.9413,negative,ashamed
730,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling worse everyday and I can’t kill myself because I have small children.,listener_1,4,"I had to unpack what that means but ultimately they are not you, and how you cope doesn’t need a value judgment. Took me a while to shed that too but getting better supersedes anything. You can always go off them, it’s not forever. Don’t worry about anyone else’s experience. They are not you.",0.8767,positive,neutral
731,MentalHealthSupport,Help! I urgently need it.,speaker,1,"I want to know if I'm not the only one. I suffer from sleep deprivation and my mind almost always ""tells"" me I'm worthless and I remember that once there years ago I had a group test a at university and it keep accusing me of things I didn't do. It's like an evil inner voice. I feel my life is in danger.",-0.9613,negative,afraid
731,MentalHealthSupport,Help! I urgently need it.,listener_1,2,"If you feel your life is in danger because you want to self harm or harm others, I would suggest you seek medical emergency attention immediately! Go to your nearest Emergency Room/Hospital!   If you feel your not going to self harm or harm others, I would seek professional help immediately to get a proper diagnosis and proper medication if needed to help with you mental state. Do you have anyone you can contact to help or get you to where you need to go?",-0.9411,negative,afraid
731,MentalHealthSupport,Help! I urgently need it.,speaker,3,"Yes, the psychologist at my uni has helped me a lot but false memories still haunt me and I want to get rid of them.",-0.3071,negative,nostalgic
731,MentalHealthSupport,Help! I urgently need it.,listener_1,4,"Ok that's good!   I suffer from horrible memories that actually happened unfortunately and I can't help much as far as advice but what I do know is that you need to ground yourself in a state of panic. Its hard to do at first and takes practice but try some techniques like counting or holding onto an object that brings joy or peace. When I count I focus on my voice, the cords, and the vibrations. Sometimes I'll sing the alphabet if needed. I also hold onto paper. I love to touch, crumble, and even smell paper. I also write out the steps of a recipe I enjoy. Going thru every single step like ""I crack the egg on the side of the bowl"". It sounds weird but it helps me and could help you in a state of panic and/or horrific memory (fake or real).   These types of techniques help calm your brain and thoughts so that you can come back to the present. This way you can look at the memories a little more logically and with a clearer mind. Then, continue how your psych dr would to help process those fake memories, assuming they have given you some tools to help with this. If not, try and call their office or cell? Sometimes, even late at night, they're able to help in cases of emergencies or if your having panic attacks in any shape or form.  As far as the voices go, I can't determine if its hallucinations or just that subconscious talking. Hallucinations are tricky and I am in no way a professional to help with that, I'm sorry. But subconscious I can give my personal advice which is to repeat back at the voice with ""I'm good"", ""I'm better"", etc. Use positive ""I"" statements and stay away from ""You're wrong"" because it's less helpful. It's a start to self acceptance and self love. But loving one's self takes a lot of time, patience, and of course learning. So, keep it up and keep practicing by complimenting yourself and your hard word (especially since you're in Uni! You work harder than you think, you deserve ""you time""- dont forget that!)",0.9939,positive,afraid
731,MentalHealthSupport,Help! I urgently need it.,speaker,5,Those hallucinations were worsened by irritability.,-0.6486,negative,annoyed
732,MentalHealthSupport,The only thing keeping me from offing myself is the that I’m seeing Bob Dylan next month.,speaker,1,Tomorrow is homecoming and I literally have no one to go with. No friends to go with and especially not a date. My parents are out of town tomorrow as well and I don’t even have anyone to hang out with not at hoco. It feels like I’m losing friends by the week and nobody talks to me anymore. I’m under a lot of stress between school and work and I’m about to crack. I went to get pancakes today to eat my feelings and I stood by the door for two minutes as several servers walked by without seating me. I’m more alone and more stressed than I have ever been and I don’t know what to do.,-0.7536,negative,lonely
732,MentalHealthSupport,The only thing keeping me from offing myself is the that I’m seeing Bob Dylan next month.,listener_1,2,"Hey, I know things might be tough right now. Actually, believe it or not, I'm in a similar situation. I'm losing friends near by, but at the same time, I'm realizing more and more that most of them weren't good friends anyway. I'm not going to homecoming either for a similar reason. You're not alone, I promise you.  I'm glad you have Bob Dylan to look forward to. I love music so much. It's one of the things that keeps me going. Keep looking forward to things.  I'm sorry this is happening to you, but if it makes you feel any better, I understand. It's tough, but you're wildly strong, I know you are. You'll make it through, I know you will.  Good luck to you. Keep your chin up, your head above the water, and keep being you and keep striving for greatness.",0.9637,positive,grateful
732,MentalHealthSupport,The only thing keeping me from offing myself is the that I’m seeing Bob Dylan next month.,speaker,3,Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
732,MentalHealthSupport,The only thing keeping me from offing myself is the that I’m seeing Bob Dylan next month.,speaker,4,Thank you so much.,0.3612,positive,wishing
733,MentalHealthSupport,Relationship and intense anger,speaker,1," 4 years ago I attempted suicide and failed. I was in a relationship at the time and from this event I was sent to live in a mental health facility.  I broke up with this partner because I had no capacity to feel/to care/ to want a relationship. I just wanted to die. It was a very traumatic time for me and my brain erased this memory. It came back into my memories with haunting flashbacks of the call, what I said and what happened. I got extremely disgusted and angry with myself. I went into a psychosis believing the devil was going to steal my soul and I was to live forever in a bardo.   4 months after the break, A girl grew interest in me, and my friend told me she liked me. I immediately felt extremely angry, and annoyed, thinking she was lying, thinking it was a setup type thing.  I started to have very dark thoughts of harming this girl, anytime she was near me I would be repulsed and angry. So that ended pretty poorly. We never dated and I left that place.  The thing is, if I like someone and I know they don't like me back I will obsess over them and be this lovely person to them, despite knowing they won't date me. But as soon as I see it could get real, that they catch feelings this anger builds back up. If not angry it is repulsion. I want to run away and not see them ever again.  Am I just so shit scared of relationships that I turn it into anger? I have the capacity to love, I'm not emotionless, I have a lot of empathy, even too much but as soon as this topic arises it's different. I feel less angry now when these things happen, now its more like I need to leave type thing.. but",-0.9872,negative,devastated
733,MentalHealthSupport,Relationship and intense anger,listener_1,2,"I'm not a professional but i think this might be trauma from the time you attempted. Are you seeing a therapist weekly? These feelings shouldn't be arising in the way you say they are. If someone isn't interested in you that doesn't mean they don't like you. It just means you're not their flavor. If a girl likes you, that means she enjoys your company and personality.  You shouldn't feel like they need to be punished or hurt.  So i would say speaking with a therapist to work on the pattern of negative thoughts would be the best for you. You may need some guidance on how to change this thought pattern.",-0.8914,negative,questioning
733,MentalHealthSupport,Relationship and intense anger,speaker,3,"Im not in any therapy anymore, I decided to stop nearly a year ago as I thought that going over my traumas just kept me in a bad place.. but I'm seriously considering going back.  It's not like I want to hurt people,but I get very overwhelmed and aggetated and then get really bad thoughts as if not my own. I get the fact that it's probably related to the suicide but I'm annoyed I cannot let this go. I want to let it go but parts inside me want me to suffer continuously.  Thank you for your post, its making me really reconsider therapy",-0.9839,negative,sad
733,MentalHealthSupport,Relationship and intense anger,listener_1,4,"Awesome! I also didn't want you to feel as though I was judging you or saying something is wrong with you.  I strongly encourage you to seek out a new therapist and put in some effort into finding one that you can feel comfortable with.  I spent a year and a half with my first therapist because I didn't want to offend her by switching to a new one and I thought that I would be starting all over since I had spent so much time and effort going for so long.  I never really progressed and should have made an effort to find someone who I feel is a good fit.  You deserve to express joy and happiness to the people who make an effort to be in your life.  I wish our brains could be adjusted manually in order to move forward from the issues holding us back.  You had a tough time 4 years ago but you survived and are still a great person.  I really hope you can see that in yourself.  New people you have met since that time think you're great, which proves it.  You have guts to tell reddit your story.  I know you have the guts to tell someone who has the tools to help you overcome these thoughts.",0.9902,positive,trusting
734,MentalHealthSupport,Need an ear to listen till I’m brave enough to get real help,speaker,1,"Idk what’s going on with me but I suspect it might be maybe anxiety??social phobia??PTSD??. Idk but I don’t feel okay. I feel sad, frustrated, scared, like people are judging me, I can’t sleep, I sleep too much, have random moments of panic, feel like I’m not good enough, feel like people think I’m stupid, feel like people think I don’t belong, hate talking to people because I feel like I say something wrong then all I do is think about what I said, still think of things that happened years ago. Literally the only way I can escape my thoughts is by reading.   I plan on seeking help as soon as I’m brave enough. But I guess until than, does anyone have advice?",-0.929,negative,afraid
734,MentalHealthSupport,Need an ear to listen till I’m brave enough to get real help,listener_1,2,"Seek help dear! My hubby was just dx with acute agoraphobia and severe anxiety due to ptsd. He recently got medicated (started Zoloft Aug 28) and this weekend was able to drive to downtown Toronto and briefly attend a family wedding!! It does get better and I know you can do it!! Our lives are about to take a serious upward swing f’ing finally (it’s been rough - I absolutely feel you) - I want you to feel this joy of being able to feel yourself come back to **you**   Also - proper ups on having the guts to come here and bravely seek guidance! Please, if there is anything I can maybe help with or questions, please don’t hesitate!",0.9333,positive,hopeful
734,MentalHealthSupport,Need an ear to listen till I’m brave enough to get real help,speaker,3,"Thank you  for your reply ♥️. I’m glad your husband was able to attend the wedding. I imagine that must have been a huge achievement for him. You’re right, I want to feel like how I used to feel... like the old me. The one who wasn’t afraid of anything or afraid of what anyone thought about me.",0.946,positive,sentimental
734,MentalHealthSupport,Need an ear to listen till I’m brave enough to get real help,listener_1,4,"He went and it was amazing!! If it matters he is on Zoloft, Seroquel, and of its really bad Lorazepam... he did really well and is feeling better every day!!! I know you can do the same - I’ll be around if you need to vent to an objective person haha",0.877,positive,impressed
735,MentalHealthSupport,My father is the center of my emotional trauma.,speaker,1,"Context: I live in a two bedroom apt with my younger brother and father. My father sleeps in the living room and my brother and I reside in the two bedrooms. My father just asked me a question in the darkness of a hallway and 10 feet away. I got VERY angry and triggered and punched the wall several times to the point where my knuckles bleed. I’m a 25 year old female with major depressive disorder switching medications, living in NYC with no parental support and feeling very angry, triggered, and alone. I’ve just come to realization that no matter what my father says to me, I will hate every word he says. I read every  word he says as if he says he is carrying so much hate. He doesn’t understand how deep my depression goes and does not share any affection to me. He has not shared any affection to me since I was born. To him for all  my life, he has referred to me as “the girl” to everyone he mentions me to. I hate that he makes me feel this way. And it makes my mental health go south so quickly. I live with him because I can’t financially sustain afford an apartment on my own or with roommates. I feel so terrible for crying and feeling so weak.",-0.9948,negative,afraid
735,MentalHealthSupport,My father is the center of my emotional trauma.,listener_1,2,"Hey lovely, im a 23 year old girl from toronto canada! Nice to meet you! Im actually in a VERY similar situation as you are. I just moved back in the house with my abusive father and I suffer from emotionally unstable disorder and let me tell you, I understand how tough it is. If you ever need to talk or just need a friend feel free to message me:) A friend is always nice to have 😊 You're not alone, and the broken ones are the most beautiful. You CAN get there. Youll look back on how hard this was and it will make your bright future so much more bright knowing you made it through such pain on your own. You're incredible and I hope you tell yourself that ❤",0.9754,positive,acknowledging
735,MentalHealthSupport,My father is the center of my emotional trauma.,speaker,3,Thank you so so much!! I needed  to hear this very very much.,0.4738,positive,sympathizing
736,MentalHealthSupport,I’m passively suicidal. I’m feeling a cross between a deep seeded ache and incredible emptiness in my chest that feels endless.,speaker,1,"I don’t know how else to explain this but I feel an insurmountable amount of pain and emptiness at the same time. My depression and anxiety are both flaring up. I think it’s tied to my work - I’m in the restaurant of a hotel and it can get so busy sometimes. Also, my chef puts a lot of pressure on me specifically. He’s not always great at organizing (for example he doesn’t have a set list of all of our recipes so nothing is standardized). But when I complete recipes, he gets irritated about how something tastes, since I’m the only person who signs off on the in depth prep lists (at his request, everyone has to write a prep list for the next shift to complete) at the end of my shift (some of my coworkers do them but do them half-assedly) or when I am completing the bad prep lists others make, I come under fire any time something is perfect or up to the chefs standards. He doesn’t give us standard recipes and gets mad at me when my coworkers leave things unorganized and don’t write down what ingredients we’re running out of. I’m under so much pressure.   So now my depression is flaring up. Badly. I don’t want to actively kill myself but I really wish a car would hit me or someone would attack me or something. My anxiety makes my feel like by heart is in my throat and my depression makes me feel empty and worthless.   On the plus side, I have a general doctors appointment in late November. I’m hoping to talk to my physician about medication. But I feel like this appointment may be to late.",-0.994,negative,sad
736,MentalHealthSupport,I’m passively suicidal. I’m feeling a cross between a deep seeded ache and incredible emptiness in my chest that feels endless.,listener_1,2,"Keep the appointment, meds can really help. Don’t give up!",0.5081,positive,hopeful
736,MentalHealthSupport,I’m passively suicidal. I’m feeling a cross between a deep seeded ache and incredible emptiness in my chest that feels endless.,speaker,3,Thank you! I got the first one I could but it still feels so far away.,0.2598,positive,neutral
737,MentalHealthSupport,School is too much,speaker,1,I currently just entered my Junior year of high school and it's too much. I'm so exhausted when I get home. The work keeps on piling on and on which is causing me so much stress when i already stress thanks to other things. I currently just left my toxic household and am struggling to be motivated to do anything with anyone. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to open up my school laptop because I just can't and I'm struggling with my eating habits as well which had been an issue since freshman year. I also have to take care of my siblings 4 days out of the week and I'm honestly fucking breaking down. I don't know how I'm going to make it my Junior year and I'd be so surprised and thankful if I actually did well my first report card.  My goal is to have 85s and higher in all my classes for my first report card.,0.9036,positive,sad
737,MentalHealthSupport,School is too much,listener_1,2,"I completely understand. When I was a junior in high school, I was struggling with my weight as well, a friend of mine from school had died, and he was the 7th person in a span of 4 years who I’d lost, and I was trying so hard to keep my grades up. I was also keeping tabs on a friend of mine because her home life was not ideal. I watched over her more than her mother did. I ultimately attempted suicide.   This was almost 5 years ago. I am so sorry. People demean high schoolers. You’re struggles are super valid. I recommend reaching out to a school councilor if your school has a good one on hand. If you happen to have another adult or close friend that can provide a safe haven, I highly recommend trying to find them. I know it’s tricky to open up but it’s really helpful. I wish I had opened up more.",0.92,positive,guilty
737,MentalHealthSupport,School is too much,speaker,3,"I'm so sorry that you lost so many people and I'm glad that you survived your suicide attempt because you seem like such a lovely and understanding person. My counselor knows me by my first name lmao so yes I talk to her often and she helped me with getting some therapy (my first session should be soon) but I don't know if that would help- I guess it's worth a shot. I wanted to attempt suicide but I don't want to hurt my grandparents who took me in, so that's out of the question.",0.8063,positive,sympathizing
737,MentalHealthSupport,School is too much,listener_1,4,"I’m so proud of you for reaching out. And I’m so happy that you are trying to hang on. Therapy is a great outlet, and if it doesn’t seem to work, there’s always another councilor out there. And honestly, posting online is a great first step in my opinion. It means you can pinpoint the stressors that are most prominent at this point in time, so when you have an appointment, you can start with those talking points.   Thank you for the kind words. I really hope you can find peace and happiness.",0.9889,positive,grateful
737,MentalHealthSupport,School is too much,speaker,5,Thank you so much. I hope you're in a happy place rn❤️,0.8542,positive,wishing
738,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with my Asian parents and my *possibly autistic (or any other mental illness) sister?,speaker,1,"I'll just keep this as brief and concise as possible. My sister has been cutting herself. She's trying her best in school, but the grades just don't show. She's tried testing herself and it's possible she has anxiety and some other mental illness that I can't remember too well (after I heard the part of her cutting herself, a lot of what she said flew past my head). Anyways, my parents are those Asian parents that believe their children should become a doctor, lawyer, dentist, etc. Anything else will make you end up homeless. They also don't believe in mental health, as the time they grew up in China, mental health awareness wasn't exactly aware as it was today. I really want to help my sister. What should I do? If there are other subreddits to post this on or any other helpful links, etc. please send some help... Thank you and bless your soul if you decide to help some random stranger on the internet.",0.9653,positive,disappointed
738,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with my Asian parents and my *possibly autistic (or any other mental illness) sister?,listener_1,2,"I’m sorry your family is dealing with mental illness.  It’s a tough beast and affects the whole family.  In my experience it gets worse without treatment, so the sooner you seek help for your sister the better.  How old are you and your sister?  Perhaps speak to a counselor at her school? Or encourage her to speak to someone at the school?",0.4291,positive,sympathizing
738,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with my Asian parents and my *possibly autistic (or any other mental illness) sister?,speaker,3,"Thanks for the support. I'm currently in university, while my sister is in high school. It's very difficult to get into contact with her sometimes. I will definitely try to encourage her to speak about it to a trusted counselor, but honestly, I went to her HS as well and the feeling I got from counselors has only been, ""I'm being paid to do this. Once you're out of here, I couldn't give a shit if you killed yourself."" I'm really worried for her.",0.775,positive,trusting
738,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with my Asian parents and my *possibly autistic (or any other mental illness) sister?,speaker,4,"I'm very far away from her at the moment, and going to be for a while. She's fine with socialising, but she goes outside a lot. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I feel that some of the friends she makes aren't very good friends. I distinctively remembering one of her friends freaking out when someone mentioned police and her first instinct being to hide or run away. I don't know her friend's situation, but that didn't leave a really good impression on me as her older brother. Maybe I'm being paranoid? Possibly, but at the moment, I'm quite firm that some of her friends aren't really her friends, but just there to use her.",0.1692,positive,afraid
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,1,About two years ago I broke up with my sexually abusive boyfriend. I recently have been having trouble accepting that what happened was not my fault I feel like my skin isn't mine and I just feel violated I feel like my body isn't mine and I just want to get out of my body I don't like being in my body. I have flashbacks about him and I usually don't talk about him because I'm kind of embarrassed about it and I just want to get out of my body I don't like it I don't feel pretty anymore I don't feel like my body is mine because he had complete control over my body. I tend to scratch or itch or pick at my lip when I have flashbacks about him. I never dealt with what he did like with a therapist or anyone who specializes in helping people get through flashbacks mainly because my parents don't believe I have flashbacks so they won't let me seek therapy for flashbacks. I really don't know what to do about the flashbacks I don't know where to get help because my parents don't believe I have flashbacks and I'm out of options. A couple of weeks ago me and a friend of mine went up to where he did stuff to me and it helped a little bit but I still have flashbacks. I'm scared I don't know what to do does anyone have any suggestions?,-0.7389,negative,sad
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,listener_1,2,"It's possible you're suffering with PTSD, I was abused years back, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm happy to listen.  Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy?  Or a counsellor?   I want to remind you:  You were a VICTIM, it isn't your fault, it will never ever be your fault, I promise you. He should rot in hell for ever have you think that.  With a new partner, be open about what makes you uncertain and what you're comfortable with but also take your time. Don't rush into anything.  Take control of it all, Get some cute underwear that YOU feel comfortable in and love yourself x",0.9212,positive,faithful
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,3,"I've tried talking to a counselor about it but she got weirded out because of the main thing that triggers it, which is when I hear my parents doing it I freak out and I have had a problem back then with self harming and anytime I have flashbacks the main thing I do is hit myself and when I told her that she kind of got freaked out and I'm scared to tell anyone else about it because I'm terrified they'll get freaked out to. I think I'm gonna try to wear some cute underwear and try to take more control over what I want to wear instead of covering my body up. Thank you so much! I might try to ask different councilors than the one I usually talk to.",-0.9676,negative,guilty
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,4,"Thank you! I might let him hug me from the side, touch my hips or shoulders and give myself a bit more exposure. I think I'm going to tell the school what is going on the only person I've told is my counselor and my parents, my parents don't believe me so I'm thinking maybe I can get the school to confirm to my parents that I am experiencing PTSD. I have no idea if this will work but it's worth a try.",0.5916,positive,trusting
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,listener_1,5,"Yes ask for a different counsellor! See if there's one that specializes in sexual abuse or domestic violent relationships, they would of heard anything and everything, (there's weirdos out there you know😂)    If it helps my best friend also was in a controlling relationship, I assume it may of came with your past, being told what to wear?  She got over it by wearing like one thing he said he hated, red lipstick, it was a simple but powerful thing for her to go out wearing it, it made her feel better bc she done it for herself, she also had a coat and a dress she wasn't ""allowed"" to wear, do your version of that, anything small that you liked to do or have or wear that they made you feel negatively about, do it gather all your confidence and just go out even if it's to a corner shop with a ponytail instead, it makes a difference, have a little shopping spree and get clothes you feel good in!   I went for pink hair after my rough time, it made me feel so much better, I was having a rough time this summer too, so I dyed my hair and I feel better in myself for it, simple but it does alot.   You can fight this!",0.9843,positive,questioning
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,6,"Right now I'm on about six meds for bipolar, major depressive disorder, hearing and seeing things, slight asperger's disorder, insomnia and generalized anxiety disorder. I don't know if adding another med would help with PTSD because I'm afraid that adding another med would mess with my other meds but I'm willing to try anything once I get off this one med that is making me nauseous and making my emotions spiral. Thank you!",-0.4192,negative,trusting
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,listener_2,7,"It won't hurt to try because you definitely need support through this.  I'm sorry your parents don't believe you, that must make it that much harder.",0.7829999999999999,positive,agreeing
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,listener_3,8,"Low dose of antipsychotics have helped some people with flashbacks but the most effective treatments for ptsd are either EMDR, DBT or trauma counselling",0.0873,positive,terrified
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,9,Thank you so much! He wouldn't let me wear anything that didn't show a lot of skin he bought me some stuff that I nhave over felt comfortable wearing I got called a slut a lot but I was afraid he would hurt me if I didn't wear them. I'm definitely going to try to change my hair color! Maybe to a grayish purplish color so I won't get dress coded at school lol. I'll definitely ask for a different councilor to talk maybe ask if there is one that can come to the school that I can talk to. I might buy some shorts or dresses to wear! Thank you!,0.9025,positive,hopeful
739,MentalHealthSupport,Help me please I'm scared I'm never going to get over this and I'm scared I'm never going to be able to do anything sexual and with my partner in the future.,speaker,10,Thank you! I started talking to my councilors about my PTSD and we're looking at some coping skills for when I have them.,0.4199,positive,grateful
740,MentalHealthSupport,Climate anxiety,speaker,1,"I’m an anxious person in general, especially social anxiety, but lately I find myself experiencing more and more anxiety over climate change. That seems like a good thing - spurring me on to make changes in my life to harm the planet less. Problem is, I was already doing a lot because my mum has cared about this stuff for decades so I was brought up with composting our food waste and recycling and buying a lot of our clothes secondhand and boycotting palm oil and all sorts else. Also, I know this isn’t enough. Even if I went and lived in the middle of nowhere and never consumed a single thing I hadn’t grown myself in an organic garden and never used anything with fossil fuels again, that would do next to nothing in the grand scheme of things, because of corporations who value profits over the fate of humankind and governments who value the backing of those corporations and maintaining personal power. So, I feel hopeless. Sometimes I’ll be unhappy about where my life is headed and I’ll think of how to change it, but then feel anxious and guilty, because why am I even thinking about career plans when the planet will look totally different by the time I’m forty and before I’m 80 the planet could be near uninhabitable?! That sounds dramatic but it’s possible. We’re already seeing the effects of climate change. I know I should just focus on what makes me happy and what I want to do with my life, and try to do what I can environmentally because feeling hopeless won’t help anyway... but I can’t get it out of my mind. It comes in waves. I’m a socially anxious 22 year old literature graduate - I’m not an activist or a scientist or anything remotely helpful.   I can’t avoid all climate related news because it’s on every social media I enjoy spending time on. Besides, I do want to know what’s going on and how I can help - I care about this stuff. I just don’t know how to make the overall panic stop.",-0.5922,negative,apprehensive
740,MentalHealthSupport,Climate anxiety,listener_1,2,"I feel this way constantly too! I work as an archivist, and a lot of what I do is creating digital historical records, which means I’m sat at a computer in an office about for about 75% of my time at work. Every time I turn my computer on I feel incredibly anxious and guilty. Colleagues of mine leave their computers on over weekends, and I catch myself on a Friday making sure everyone has turned them off and all the lights are off because all I can see is this huge carbon footprint of just ONE office and it makes me feel sick.   I can’t believe we’re where we are now just because of greed. I understand that I’m a worker and a consumer, unfortunately I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. I didn’t consent to the way in which we package our foods or how we’re expected to go to and from work 5 days a week, or how we’re constantly advertised to so we buy more useless shit and so on and so fourth. Of course I can make decisions to source my food more ethically and to ask to work from home a couple times a month, etc. - but in the grand scheme of things that’s not a solution. The problem is inherently with a few, not the many, and the few, aka the wealthy CEO’s don’t seem to have empathy towards the situation. They make us feel guilty about it: “well you shouldn’t buy so much plastic!” BITCH, YOU SHOULDN’T BE SELLING IT TO ME. YOU ARE PRODUCING IT.  It’s a shitty things to say, but in my opinion, the best we can do as ‘the many’ is speak up, share the way in which we see the world, what we think about and how it makes us feel. Find people who think and feel the same as you do and keep spreading the message. Go to protests, support one another. I don’t think it can possibly stay this way forever, it’s unsustainable - eventually something has to give.",-0.9047,negative,guilty
740,MentalHealthSupport,Climate anxiety,speaker,3,"Thank you, I’m glad I’m not alone even though I’m sorry you go through it too. I really hope that “something has to give” ends up meaning we finally change things for the better, rather than like...extinction.",0.9008,positive,sympathizing
741,MentalHealthSupport,So tired of being pushed back,speaker,1,"I hate ranting but I think I’ve finally reached this point again.   I’ve been trying to reach out for some professional help with my mental health for 6 months now after surviving a sexual assault a while back. Literally nobody is willing to help me. Each service says my issues are too complex or they aren’t the right place for me and I get sent somewhere else, only for the next place to say the same thing. It’s a constant cycle that I can’t get out of.   Since I’ve received no help, I’ve fallen back into self harm and drug use that I’d managed to stop previously, but now it’s my only coping mechanism. I don’t feel any of my family or friends really know what to do to help and I’m not surprised.    I really don’t know where to go from here. I’m too broke to pay for private therapy, but the free ones won’t do anything for me. Everything feels so hopeless and I’ve never been this alone",-0.9171,negative,disappointed
741,MentalHealthSupport,So tired of being pushed back,listener_1,2,Hey friend. You might need to go to the hospital at some point for that. I’m sorry that I don’t have much advice,0.4404,positive,sympathizing
741,MentalHealthSupport,So tired of being pushed back,listener_2,3,"This is good advice. If you’re in danger of hurting yourself or others, you need to go to a hospital.",-0.4939,negative,agreeing
741,MentalHealthSupport,So tired of being pushed back,speaker,4,Yeah that’s terrible advice but thanks I guess,0.5267,positive,neutral
741,MentalHealthSupport,So tired of being pushed back,speaker,5,Except I’m not in danger of that,0.4168,positive,afraid
742,MentalHealthSupport,What's a good movie/show about self-acceptance/self-love?,speaker,1,I could really use an inspiring story rn,0.4703,positive,hopeful
742,MentalHealthSupport,What's a good movie/show about self-acceptance/self-love?,listener_1,2,Old fashioned,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
742,MentalHealthSupport,What's a good movie/show about self-acceptance/self-love?,speaker,3,Movie or show? What's it about?,0.0,neutral,questioning
742,MentalHealthSupport,What's a good movie/show about self-acceptance/self-love?,listener_1,4,It's a movie. It's basically the antithesis of 50 shades of grey,0.0516,positive,sad
742,MentalHealthSupport,What's a good movie/show about self-acceptance/self-love?,listener_2,5,"Seriously, this show makes me ugly cry almost every episode..",-0.7964,negative,sad
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,speaker,1,"Ok so as I said, I got dumped by my ex who I was completely in love with.  But ever since then my brain is like it has a mind of its own and tells me that she's hooking up with other people and that she hates me. One of my friends also admitted that he had a crush on her so my brain is also telling me that they're going to be together... I know all of it isn't true but the thoughts still make me anxious and keep me up at night. For a while I tried to just shrug it off but I can't cope anymore I need help",0.5847,positive,anxious
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,listener_1,2,"I’m not really good at advice, but I’m here for you if you ever need someone talk to get your mind off things",-0.2051,negative,caring
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,speaker,3,yeah I don't really have much to say I just can't stop thinking about it even if I know for a fact that none of those things aren't happening,0.4745,positive,apprehensive
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,speaker,4,"I would write it down but like as you can see I'm having trouble wording it, and also i wouldn't want people to find it. I'm the guy whose always positive in the friend group you know?",0.8614,positive,embarrassed
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,listener_2,5,You don't have to keep it. Pour it all out on paper or do a voice memo and then get rid of it,0.0,neutral,neutral
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,listener_3,6,"Hi having trouble wording it, and also i wouldn't want people to find it. , I'm dad.",-0.4445,negative,sympathizing
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,speaker,7,Wtf,-0.5859,negative,acknowledging
743,MentalHealthSupport,My ex dumped me about a month ago and my brain is making me anxious,speaker,8,Right yeah,0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,1,"Or maybe, that it's more that I've slowed within time? I know that depression and anxiety really effects my concentration levels, but every little task I do takes twice or three times as long, it could be anything from writing a covering letter to just putting my dishes away! And to me, time itself feels the same, but I'll look at my clock and realise a task that should have taken 5 mins (and used to) now takes me 20 minutes to do, when I think back trying to figure out why it took me so long I genuinely can't think of why or have any memory of what really happened (even though it was minutes ago), it will be like all of it was a blur. Does anyone who has experienced/experiences depression have moments like this? It seems to never end with me, my concentration, memory and organisation is completely gone!",-0.4929,negative,suggesting
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,listener_1,2,"I experience the same thing. I've always been one of the slowest people to complete assignments in school even if I didn't find the material particularly difficult that day, then right after a class ends, I forget nearly everything that happened except the really important stuff like tests. Apparently it's quite common to have these symptoms when dealing with depression. Another surprising thing I found is that depression can make it difficult for you to make decisions... who woulda thought.",-0.8242,negative,sad
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply, and I definitely get that! It's so annoying but I definitely suffer from all of that, it makes me feel like I'm incapable of getting a job or reaching goals and then the vicious circle of depression continues! I did wonder if it has an affect on decision making, I definitely struggle with that more than I used to!",-0.8545,negative,agreeing
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,4,"Thank you for replying to me! And yes I feel exactly the same, I sometimes try to think of what I've done over the last few months, and all of it seems like a blur because of depression, it does feel like my brain is a blob sometimes! I wonder how to get out of this!",0.7488,positive,agreeing
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,5,"Thank you for replying to me, and feeling hazy is definitely the word I'm looking for, that's how a feel almost all of the time, it's a nightmare!",0.7177,positive,agreeing
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,6,"Thank you for replying to me, and it's odd to say but it's nice to hear that someone else is going through the same thing (though I wish you didn't because it's so horrible) but I can feel like I'm not alone with my experiences! Especially about the slurred speech, I really struggle with speech and I never thought of it as being from depression, I've always had issues with gramma because I'm dyslexic so I've never felt that confident when speaking, and I guess depression makes that feel even worse because I now feel like it's even more difficult to get my words out properly!",-0.9619,negative,neutral
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,listener_2,7,A friend of mine once said he reflects on the day every night before going to bed. That helps him have a better memory and clearer understanding of time. But I guess that might only work when you are not depressed because I know I won’t do that when I am,0.8128,positive,sentimental
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,listener_3,8,It's been significantly better since I started taking meds. The brain fog still happens sometimes but it doesn't last as long or happen as frequently.,0.2382,positive,grateful
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,9,"That's an interesting idea, I do try journaling, but sometimes it's difficult to get myself to do that in the first place, so I try scheduling in every Sunday that I have to do it by putting an alarm on!",-0.6996,negative,acknowledging
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,10,"That's really good, I'm happy you have found something that works!",0.8151,positive,acknowledging
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,listener_4,11,"Hey, it helps me to just write a word or two or an ugly doodle to sum up the day so the task isn't so overwhelming",-0.1779,negative,content
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,speaker,12,"Thank you for replying to me, especially for pointing that out because it's helped me realise that that's how time feels to me too! Sometimes a minute can seem like forever or seems to disappear completely, because my mind is genuinely out of it, it can be like I'm traveling through time (and not in a good way, in a I can't control anything way). This has made it really difficult to keep on top of delay tasks and applying to jobs, I can't seem to order my life in any way. It always helps to talk about what I'm going through because it's good for me and others to know we're not alone with these symptoms!",0.7734,positive,agreeing
744,MentalHealthSupport,Does anyone find that depression causes lack of memory and feeling like time slows down?,listener_4,13,Im glad this helped you! And keep sharing your 'weird' and oddly specific feelings it's so helpful to others 😊❤️,0.9326,positive,acknowledging
745,MentalHealthSupport,Offering Support,speaker,1,Hello everyone. I would just like to offer my support and time to anyone who is struggling mentally and feels like they have no one to talk to. Feel free to drop me a message here if you would like to chat about anything.   Take care everyone,0.8625,positive,caring
745,MentalHealthSupport,Offering Support,listener_1,2,I don’t need to right now but it would be good to have another listening ear from time to time:)👍🏻,0.5927,positive,acknowledging
745,MentalHealthSupport,Offering Support,speaker,3,No problem my friend. If you need a chat I'm here whenever. Hope you're having a good week !,0.8898,positive,wishing
745,MentalHealthSupport,Offering Support,speaker,4,"Hey, I appreciate your kind words. I am going through very tough times myself but I just wanted to offer support to people who felt they had nobody or nowhere to go. If you ever feel the need to talk please message me at any time! Hope you're having a great day. Take care my friend",0.9827,positive,caring
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,speaker,1,"I hope this is allowed here. My best friend (lives in another country) is currently hospitalized in a mental health asylum (not sure if it was voluntary) . She didn't tell me directly, I got told by one of her friends. I have no idea what to do with myself? What can I do?  I think I just need some advice.",0.8909,positive,apprehensive
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,2,"Mental asylums are not the scary places Tv makes them out to be, especially in countries outside of the U.S where more emphasis in proper care for the handicapped is given. I  doubt she is in an “asylum” as you say, probably just a psych ward where she is being evaluated. They do not detain unless she was a danger to herself or others, so chances are she’s going through something very traumatic and they thought she would be better served by having a little break from the stresses of life. That’s the whole purpose of these places, and if you go to most of them you’ll notice the majority of patients are quiet and reserved. The actual institutions can be scary, for both patients and doctors, but that isn’t what we see on the majority of wards.   It is ok to be scared for your friend. Just know that if she is in there it is probably of her own volition, or a doctor thought she really needed help.  It is also ok to be happy for your friend being in a place where she’s being allowed to feel better, even if that new environment is a little scary at first.  I will say that during my stint on the Psych ward, my nurses were very kind to me, gave me anything I asked for, let me pick out my own menu for meals and allowed me to remain isolated when I was too scared to see anyone.",0.9536,positive,afraid
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_2,3,It’s not a psych ward . Please call it an “inpatient unit” or mental health hospital. The name “psych ward” always rubs me wrong . I believe it adds to the stigma that already exists in mental health . We don’t say physical ward when people are physically hurt.,-0.6369,negative,angry
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,speaker,4,"It's good to know that she is probably doing ""good"", I'd presume so too. asylum was just the word that was used to inform me. I will see if I can come in contact with her one way or another and let her know I think about her.",0.7003,positive,trusting
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,5,"I feel dumber after reading this. I’m going to use the proper terminology even if it “rubs you the wrong way” dude, sorry.  There is nothing wrong with being in a psychological ward,  ward is a synonym for unit and there is nothing offensive about it. I hope you’re getting the help you need, we can agree to disagree.",0.5624,positive,sympathizing
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_2,6,"You just decided to tell me I need help because I told you not to say “ward?” You are dumb because you clearly didn’t understand what I was saying . It sounds terrible saying psych ward . Point blank . Just say mental health hospital. It’s that simple . The fact that you had to belittle me to make yourself feel better because of my preference of a word makes you sound like the jerk you probably are . I wasn’t trying to belittle anyone just trying to change stigma in mental health and we know that people do not take the term “psych ward” the same as they do when you say hospital and that’s not my fault, it’s the media’s.  Also, even though you basically tried to insult me, I still wish you the best .",0.2635,positive,angry
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,7,"No, I wished you the best because we’re all on here getting help. I wish you the best again, and kindly advise you to take a chill pill. I will continue to call it psych ward, Thank you.",0.9612,positive,wishing
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_2,8,"Wow, clearly we are in a day and age where people can’t even have a normal conversation without getting upset... trust me, I’m chill as I could ever be. Btw I work on a “mental health unit” and we do not tell the kids they are on a “psych ward.” !",0.741,positive,surprised
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_3,9,"The reason he took umbridge with you is because you told him not to use a word, and the reason for telling him not to use a word was emotionally motivated.  ""That word makes **me** feel bad so **you** cannot use it.""  He's not trying to hurt anyone, but the way you state your objection attempts to (1) shame that person and (2) censor their language at your whim.  That's not how the world works.   And this strategy of yours does not stand up to iteration. You'll turn yourself into a combative if not adversarial person with a persecution complex.   Alternatively, you could be stronger, braver, and tougher, and learn how to conquer your trauma so that it doesn't lead you by the nose for the rest of your life. It's within your power to do that, but first you have to flip the script: it's not his responsibility to make you feel safe, it's your responsibility to make sure that you're tough enough to face the world without being too triggered to avoid unpleasant experiences like this one.",0.4316,positive,furious
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,10,"Bud, you are NOT chill lol. That’s cool that that’s your guys’ practice, I’D think that’s telling kids that being on a psych ward is bad. Again, get some help or take a day off.",-0.21,negative,acknowledging
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_2,11,Lmaooo I’m chill . You’re mad ! You keep telling me to get help . Stop projecting !,-0.508,negative,angry
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,12,"Whatever you need to tell yourself ;)  Also, out of all the issues you could choose to be a cunt about, this probably isn’t the best of them, especially on a page about someone hurting for their friend. I’m shaking my head a bit, but I don’t see any terminology in my comments indicating I’m angry. You’re seriously getting unhinged now. You have a good night, I’m not playin “ I’m not mad you are” with you, as that is just another indicator that you are very much, not... chill.",0.3903,positive,angry
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_2,13,Haha .. I literally just asked you not to say psych ward . You insulted me .  Go back and read . You could’ve easily just said your point and moved on without the insults but ok .,0.6144,positive,neutral
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,14,Why are you STILL replying to this I didn’t mean to trigger you that hard bud I’m sorry.,-0.1779,negative,sympathizing
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,15,This was very well written.,0.3384,positive,impressed
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_3,16,"Thanks for saying so. I hope that fella thought about it after he deleted his comments. Sometimes people never hear a well articulated argument that nails down the fallacy they're blind to, and I'm always happy to try to provide it lol",0.742,positive,consoling
746,MentalHealthSupport,Friend hospitalized,listener_1,17,"He also deleted his account, which means he’s just gonna start again on a new one, I wouldn’t hope on too much",0.4404,positive,consoling
747,MentalHealthSupport,My husband triggers my PTSD all the time,speaker,1,"I was in a mentally and emotionally abusive, controlling, relationship a while ago.  He would go so far as using emotional manipulation to make me think that things were my fault when they actually weren't.  Things got so bad that it caused PTSD (yes, diagnosed).  My current husband has issues with lacking empathy (didn't realize it was this until 3 years into our marriage) and wanting to control everything to the point that he gets upset when things don't go his way.  On a consistant basis, when we argue our gree gets mad, he feels like he can tell me what to do like, ""I don't want you to be at home when i get there"", ""I have nothing more to say about what we talked about"", ""this conversation is over"", etc.  When I now stand up for myself in these situations, things get turned around and he tells me that i'm the one starting arguments and causing issues.  This triggers my PTSD pretty bad, and it's making me wish I could just die rather than have to live like this again.  Getting out isn't as easy as it should be either.",-0.9573,negative,devastated
747,MentalHealthSupport,My husband triggers my PTSD all the time,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. I know it’s not easy, but this is something that you do need to get out of. You can’t stay in this relationship",0.102,positive,faithful
747,MentalHealthSupport,My husband triggers my PTSD all the time,speaker,3,"And I think the hard part is that I know that deep down you are right. My husband isnt a bad person, like my ex was, but he does have his own mental health issues which make times like these really challenging.  It also makes me feel like, I wouldnt leave him if he was sick with cancer, so how is mental illness any better.  Thank you for the validation and kindness in it, and I would absolutely tell anyone else like me the same thing.",0.8685,positive,agreeing
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,speaker,1,"I’ve been feeling Suicidal lately and emailed a therapist to set up an appointment. From googling I have learned that if a therapist thinks you are at risk of hurting yourself then they can and must lock you up in a mental hospital. My question is what the fuck is the point in therapy or seeking professional help if they are going to send you away from my family. It’s like “you should get help but not if you’re serious”. Like cmon, I thought they are supposed to be confidential. What else? If I tell them I do drugs to cope are they going to call the police?",0.2287,positive,apprehensive
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,listener_1,2,"To be fair, it has to be an immediate risk. you literally have to be ready to shoot yourself or whatever the case may be. Being passively suicidal or treatable is in a case where they would normally lock you up. You being immediate risk to yourself and others is the only reason they will lock you up, and it would be for the minimum amount of time possible to stabilize you. Drugs or anything else that you're on won't be reported anybody in law enforcement. They just might tell your doctor to make sure any meds they give you don't hurt you.",-0.4449,negative,afraid
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,speaker,3,What if I tell them I’ve been making a list of passwords and accounts and general info so my wife knows how to pay the bills when I’m gone. More than just thinking about it,-0.1027,negative,prepared
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,listener_1,4,"That seems like prep and like you definitely need help. It's a really good thing that you are getting help. I'm not a doctor, I can't say what they'll do. But if they don't automatically offer, it might be worth requesting additional help. you also don't have to wait for therapy, if you do believe you're going to harm yourself you can go to the local hospital.",0.8072,positive,agreeing
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,speaker,5,I do NOT want to be locked up in some hospital away from my wife and son. See it sounds like I need help and I do want help but I can’t get it because they’ll just send me somewhere against my will. Not to mention the repercussions of being in a mental hospital if a future employer or anyone for that matter finds it on a background check,0.5631,positive,afraid
748,MentalHealthSupport,Therapist locking me up,listener_1,6,"Medical things wouldn't show up on a background check at least in the US, but I don't know where you are.   Would you consider outpatient?",0.0,neutral,questioning
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",speaker,1,"each day i encounter problems and they take me to the bottom of the bottomless pit. they make ms go really fucking sad and angry. my parents think bad shit of me: they call me egoistic and all that. OH SO YEAH WHEN I COME TO MY PARENTS AND ASK HER FOR MORAL SUPPORT MY MOM AND DAD JUST TELLS ME IM EGOISTIC AND LEAVE ME WITH THAT. now before you think im abused, yes i  probably partly am. but i dont wanna be a FUCKING ORPHANE. NEVER. now this reddit bullshit argument ive had like 10 seconds ago and still am, its FUCKING TERRIBLE. i cant stop getting tilted by games no matter how long my breaks are. i still come back cause i find the game """"""""""fun"""""""""""".   Now I bet imma get downvoted to fuck on that post for arguing and being a hypocritical salty fuck.   school is shit for me, bad grades, everyone thinks of me as a clown and takes me as a fucking animal.    i thought of harming myself A LOT. ive cried a lot this week.  a few years ago i didnt do this, i wasnt afraid of anything.  now im FUCKING AFRAID OF IT ALL.   small finger cut? im afraid of infection.  headache? im afraid of concussion after all the time ive banged my head against some surface.  stomach pain? im afraid of appendictis.   and that happens all the time.   could this be cause of puberty? Could it all be cause of it?   sometimes i have thoughts of actually fucking going anywhere but not the place where i started to argue.    why am i typing like this? cause im a fucking retard nonetheless.",-0.9965,negative,angry
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",speaker,2,"haha, NONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THIS POST.  LITERALLY NONE IS HERE. THIS IS JUST MAKING IT WORSE CAUSE IVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME THING AGAIN BY GETTING DOMINATED ALL THE TIME BY SOMEONE",-0.7241,negative,annoyed
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",listener_1,3,"We’re here. Your feelings are all valid. Don’t put yourself down based on standards that have been arbitrarily set by society. It’s ok to feel this way, so many of us do.",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",speaker,4,AT THIS POINT IVE REALLY CONSIDERED HEAVIER SELF HARM THAN JUST BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST SHIT.,-0.7964,negative,afraid
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",listener_1,5,You need to see a doctor. Whatever it takes. Your parents are stupid if they won’t help you with that. There are resources everywhere and the people that matter won’t judge you.,-0.1531,negative,apprehensive
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",speaker,6,i thought a lot of giving a go at visiting my school's therapist,0.34,positive,suggesting
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",listener_2,7,"I think you should. My school therapist helped me so much more than I thought he would. Do not underestimate the the benefits from therapy, a lot of people decide not to go because they dont think it will help them, it does.",0.7342,positive,grateful
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",listener_1,8,Do it. 100%. It will save your life.,0.4939,positive,agreeing
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",speaker,9,what?,0.0,neutral,questioning
749,MentalHealthSupport,"yep, fucking hate my life.",listener_3,10,if your situation starts creeping into thoughts of self harm? Trust me - better to go see a psychotherapist first before things get ugly. Based on what you describe Im not a doctor but i sounds like you should probably talk to one and see if they can figure out what you need.   Unless you have a best friend who can help is my guess.,0.9559,positive,suggesting
750,MentalHealthSupport,... I hope I am not alone.,speaker,1,"the slightest inconvenience can just put me down into a pit, and i dont know how to stop it. like just now, i lost my dads credit card and the problem has been resolved but i still feel like shit... nothing ever goes my way. its like as if everything i touch i fail, and the only thing i can succeed at is only school, and nothing else",-0.2023,negative,sad
750,MentalHealthSupport,... I hope I am not alone.,listener_1,2,You’re not alone. So many of us feel that way. It’s going to be a fight but you’ll get through it. Don’t judge your feelings. Feel them and get the help you can.  But we all go through these periods. We hear you.,0.4802,positive,agreeing
750,MentalHealthSupport,... I hope I am not alone.,speaker,3,"Thank you, I know this isn't my first fight and I will win it.",0.8168,positive,agreeing
751,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of feeling empty,speaker,1,Some people feel sad. Some angry. Heart broken.  But I just feel empty.,-0.5927,negative,sad
751,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of feeling empty,listener_1,2,Same.. its making me crazy,-0.34,negative,agreeing
751,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of feeling empty,speaker,3,"Religion is the majority of the cause of my depression because of people shoving it down my throat and basically telling me everything I do isnt good enough because its not ""for god"" so yeah dont preach at me.",-0.6192,negative,angry
751,MentalHealthSupport,Tired of feeling empty,listener_2,4,"Not trying to do that, It is my suggestion. Plus please do not assume that I am trying to shove it down your throat.",0.3182,positive,neutral
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,1,"So recently I was at the art school and I felt pain around the lower right side of my torso. I told the teacher about it, she let me go home. And then my mom and dad always tell me that I'm faking my pain just not to go to art school. But that day you could draw anything and it was a great opportunity for me. I fucking hate my mom and dad. When I came home, my aunt and grandma took care of me, not my mom or dad. My dad is a fucking asshole and he isn't even my actual father.   My mom has a tough job as a veterinarian, that's why my mom can't pick me up.   In the end, I think its either appendictis or just muscle spasm cause it's closer to my leg, but I don't know, I'm still afraid.   I ate pizza in the morning with some heavy ingredients like salami sausages and bell pepper. Maybe that's why.   What do I do?",0.706,positive,angry
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,listener_1,2,"I have no idea about this, Maybe you should post it in a medical subreddit they'll be able to help you alot with this problem.",-0.3869,negative,suggesting
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,3,"I sorted the problem out, it was just spasms. But what about the title problem?",-0.6597,negative,confident
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,4,Maybe read one of my replies. The physical pain is over. Now all left is trust issues w/ my parents.,0.0,neutral,suggesting
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,5,"Again, it's over.",0.0,neutral,devastated
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,listener_2,6,What’s over? “It” is a social construct. You don’t need to live the way you think you’re supposed to. Nothing is over.,0.0,neutral,sad
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,listener_2,7,Why?,0.0,neutral,questioning
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,8,i meant the spasm is over,0.0,neutral,neutral
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,listener_2,9,That’s good! But the fight isn’t over. Definitely let someone know about this episode. All the best!,0.8585,positive,acknowledging
752,MentalHealthSupport,My mom and dad don't believe in my illness.,speaker,10,"Thanks, I certainly will do that when I feel bad again and have the chance to catch up with my school therapist.",0.4215,positive,agreeing
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,speaker,1,"Hey, I thought i´d give this subreddit ago since i´m in need of support and don´t really have anyone else to turn to.   Dont get me wrong I have parents who think very fondly of me, however during recent years they seem to have stopped understanding me and what I want. I still talk to them about things, but eventually I end up walking away from the conversation confused and sad that I didnt get the words out properly.  About 4 years ago I lived at a treatment home and went in and out of emergency psychiatric wards, I went to therapy and I blamed it all on others, a year after that I came to terms with the fact that I was the one ruining my own life, and decided to make some changes. I got to move back home, but the friends I used to have were nowhere to be found. They had left after hearing pretty devastating rumors about me. I´ve lived at home for 2.5 years now, and I have still not found a friend.   It´s really starting to get to me, in school I´m always the one in the back of the classroom because the other seats are taken by hoops of friends, and the ones I do socialize with have a tendency to just, walk off and try to get rid of me. I think they see me as a nuisance. I wrote this post because I got the house to myself for the first time in a while, I was excited and opened my phone to invite some friends over before I realized that I actually had noone to call or text, before I had told myself that I was busy with work, or school or anything really to have an excuse for not going out or having a social life. But this weekend really hit me, I have noone, and I dont know how to get close to anyone anymore. It´s been so long.",-0.2308,negative,ashamed
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,listener_1,2,I’m here if you ever want to talk,0.0772,positive,sympathizing
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,speaker,3,"I really appreciate that, I wouldnt believe that reddit would be the space i found someone online to talk to!  I have tried different gaming buddy reddits before, thats why I created this reddit in the first place but those ended up.. very wierd.. Thank you  It means a lot",0.7548,positive,grateful
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,speaker,4,"Thank you so much, it makes me glad to see that people are noticing what I posted, i thought it would be left behind..",0.6705,positive,grateful
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,speaker,5,"I´ve become a very socially awkward person and I did try different meetups but ended up being so stressed i forgot to ask people questions in return, which in turn ended the conversation. Which I now, in hindsight just feel really poorly about. I feel more comfortable in front of my computer, hence the sharing on this platform.  Thank you so much for the support though",0.8951,positive,grateful
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,listener_1,6,No problem!,0.3716,positive,acknowledging
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,listener_2,7,"If you're more comfortable with online interactions, there is a plethora of people to share and interact with online. Not just here on Reddit, but all over the internet.  r/Needafriend r/kindvoice r/MakeNewFriendsHere r/friendship r/r4r",0.4398,positive,trusting
753,MentalHealthSupport,Suffering from extreme loneliness,listener_3,8,Always here for you if you ever need to talk. You will never be left behind !,0.0,neutral,faithful
754,MentalHealthSupport,"You are more than what is ""wrong"" with you",speaker,1,"For whoever needs to hear this today:  You are VALID and you are VALUABLE! Do not let yourself be defined by your diagnosis. You are more than just a collection of the things that are ""wrong"" with you. You are a person, and you are who you are in spite of these things, not because of them. Never let anyone belittle you because of your struggles. You are STRONGER than the people who ""grit their teeth and bear it"" because they have not had to jump the same hurdles as you to get where you are.   It is NEVER shameful or weak to ask for help. Anyone who tells you otherwise has forgotten that they once had to be spoon fed as a child or has forgotten how many times they've had to ask their grandchildren to fix their computer.   Stay the path. It may be long, it may come with unexpected turns, but eventually there is light at the end.  You are valid. You are valuable.",0.8017,positive,proud
754,MentalHealthSupport,"You are more than what is ""wrong"" with you",listener_1,2,True very true the way I like to say this is “never let your struggles become your identity “,0.7089,positive,agreeing
754,MentalHealthSupport,"You are more than what is ""wrong"" with you",speaker,3,"I have not, but that sounds really cool.",0.5251,positive,acknowledging
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,speaker,1,I’m 13 and already an abuse victim physically mentally and emotionally from my stepmother and a sexual assault victim from a step uncle when i was very young like 4 or 5. I’m think i’m going to kill myself at 11:30. i’m very poor with my mother and i think it’s for the best. she’d have extra money more food and i think it’d be easier for everybody involved with me. i’m always lonely hopeless and sad. i think i’m posting here as a last cry for help but maybe not. i’m scared to do this if i’m going to be honest but ik it’s not an easy thing to just off yourself. idk goodbye and good riddance i think.,-0.2634,negative,afraid
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,listener_1,2,r/SuicideWatch,0.0,neutral,sad
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,speaker,3,this means a lot to have somebody respond to me about this,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,speaker,4,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,listener_2,5,"Please know that you're more important than you believe. You've been through a shitty time and it's going to take time to work through it and move forward, but you *can* still have the life you want. You don't have to stay a victim *hugs*",0.4582,positive,grateful
755,MentalHealthSupport,I’m going to kill myself,speaker,6,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,speaker,1,sorry in advance if this is worded horribly but im not very stable right now. this isnt about me but instead my boyfriend. biologically he isnt a he but ive accepted him as such. over the past few weeks his mental health seems to be decreasing rapidly and hes been prone to suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the past couple of years. out of nowhere about an hour ago when im writing this he entered a depressive state then stopped responding. pardon my French but im fucking terrified as this isnt the first time a situation like this has happened. i have similar conditions to him mentally speaking but nothing even close to dysphoria. if anyone can give any advice literally any it would mean the world,-0.9441,negative,terrified
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,listener_1,2,"Hey my friend. Im sorry to hear about your situation. Please try and be there for him right now as much as possible, in person if possible. I would encourage you tell your mutual friends or perhaps his parents if you think you would be ok with that. Just let him know how important he is to you, his friends and family. Wishing you all the best",0.9712,positive,sympathizing
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,speaker,3,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,listener_2,4,Does he have a history of psychosis? There are indications that this could be happening to him right now.,0.0,neutral,questioning
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,speaker,5,im not sure but im beginning to think that it might be a possibility,-0.1232,negative,suggesting
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,listener_2,6,"Do you have a mental health line you can call for advice? There are sometimes triage lines that can advise you on what your next step should be.  Even without the possibility of psychosis, I'd be concerned given that he's indicating that he's suicidal.  In the meantime, don't take anything he says personally. It could be psychosis, it could be PTSD, it could be a flashback, but none of these are your fault even though it's hard to have it directed at you (speaking from experience).",-0.7845,negative,questioning
756,MentalHealthSupport,i need help,speaker,7,thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
757,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally unstable,speaker,1,"I think of typical my feelings every now and then but I can't do it any day. It's messy, hazy and confused but one thing is sure, it is related to my relationship. Can anyone help me?",0.0772,positive,lonely
757,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally unstable,listener_1,2,whats wrong? could you be more specific?,-0.5362,negative,questioning
757,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally unstable,speaker,3,I have insecure feelings about my boyfriend because he has cheated me twice till now but I forgave him because I love him a lot. Now the girl he cheated me with is his colleague and they stay in the same place while I stay thousand kilometers away from him. I'm scared. This is just a part of my problem. I will say more anytime I can express it well.,-0.5187,negative,apprehensive
757,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally unstable,listener_1,4,"I would say get rid of your insecurity by breaking up with him, he cheated on you twice meaning he doesn't have any respect for you and by staying with him and forgiving him, he doesn't value you anymore and he doesn't put in as much effort as you put in for him.   I've had the same experience just recently, I had no one to hang on to and I didn't want to leave her but I did it anyways, It was so hard for me but I'm so glad I did it, I don't have to worry about her or my insecurity anymore . I do look back at it and miss her every now and then but it was so worth it.  Love those who treat you as a priority, not an option. Wish you all the best :)",0.9681,positive,trusting
757,MentalHealthSupport,Emotionally unstable,listener_2,5,"Hey,  I get what it's like to love someone and forgive them for everything they have done. I was in a very similar situation. I stayed and stayed even though I was insecure. I never felt good enough because she was alot prettier and a completely different person to what I was.  But honestly, I felt a million times better about myself when I broke up with him. I loved him dearly, we went through alot together. And yes, I felt incredibly low and shit after the break up, but once I had got over that i was the best I'd ever been. I've never looked back.   Just make sure you're doing what's right for you, and only you xx",0.97,positive,trusting
758,MentalHealthSupport,How Do I Not Let My Bipolar Get In The Way Of Working?,speaker,1,"Recently, I have been wanting a job but have been scared because of my past experience where my mood disorder had gotten in the way and I quit before I even started. I scared that It will happen again with this job that I want to apply for.   How do I not let my mood disorder get in the way of finding a job?",-0.9366,negative,apprehensive
758,MentalHealthSupport,How Do I Not Let My Bipolar Get In The Way Of Working?,listener_1,2,"I wonder the same thing! I was diagnosed earlier this year. I think for me keeping up with therapy, meds, practicing healthy coping skills is keeping me going. It’s not a matter of if I have a depressive episode but when. I remember to be patient and gentle with myself.",0.6316,positive,apprehensive
758,MentalHealthSupport,How Do I Not Let My Bipolar Get In The Way Of Working?,speaker,3,"That’s good to hear you you’ve kept yourself going and busy. I wish I was able to do that, I haven’t been prescribed any medication and I have such a horrible therapist. I just wish there was a way for me to not be scared and ruin this job",0.3412,positive,acknowledging
758,MentalHealthSupport,How Do I Not Let My Bipolar Get In The Way Of Working?,listener_1,4,"Thanks! I’m trying to do all the right things. Not every day or week is great but one day, sometimes in breath, at a time. Can you get a different therapist? Sometimes it can take a few. By having self awareness to be asking how to keep a job is amazing! I wish you all the best. You can always message me if you want!",0.9697,positive,wishing
758,MentalHealthSupport,How Do I Not Let My Bipolar Get In The Way Of Working?,speaker,5,"Thank you very much! I’ll try and see what I can do with the therapist thing, I wish you well.",0.7644,positive,wishing
759,MentalHealthSupport,I think i have depression,speaker,1,"Ok, this is going to be a long one. I am a 13yo and is in a good family. When i am supose to sleep, i switch on reddit, and check the feeds. I do that because everything there is almost relatable in my life like being left out in a group etc. But every night i would weep with my dog in my arms because i would think if the things i am unable to do, like celebrating oktoberfest, joining the bundeswehr etc. (Yes, i was a bit of a wannabe)(fyi, i live in Singapore). I also have many negative thoughts about myself being the weakest(though i am the fittest in my level), dumbest(although i have a passion for politics), etc. etc.My own approch to this is to think up of a fake identity and spread it in school so i get extra attention. I am not that familier with depression and mental health issues but searched it up once in a while. I shy away with my parents about this subjects, and unable to reach out to a therapist without anyone knowing it. I hope someone will make my life better.",0.5574,positive,sentimental
759,MentalHealthSupport,I think i have depression,listener_1,2,"I don't think it's depression but it does sound like low confidence. My rationale for this observation is that it sounds like you still enjoy activities, you just don't believe you're any good at them, and you're choosing to be on Reddit rather than sleep because it gives you a sense of connection as opposed to being online because you can't sleep.  I'm not familiar with the culture in Singapore so I'm not sure what the best approach is to address this, but building your confidence should definitely help you.",0.9882,positive,apprehensive
759,MentalHealthSupport,I think i have depression,speaker,3,Can you recommend me somes ways to build up self confidence?,0.7003,positive,questioning
759,MentalHealthSupport,I think i have depression,listener_1,4,"It depends a lot on your culture/society norms, but what I found helpful was volunteering in the community. I started at an animal shelter and built up to working in lifestyle support at an aged care home.  Getting involved, doing something that matters to you, making a difference, that can all help with confidence because it helps you feel valued.  I'm aware that the culture in Singapore may be very different to the culture here in Australia, so it's a matter of finding some way to be part of something that makes you feel good about yourself.",0.9865,positive,trusting
760,MentalHealthSupport,Seriously lack motivation,speaker,1,"I keep  thinking that maybe I'm just being lazy, but I think it is more than that.  I am in the last year of my undergraduate degree, and I really need to do well in school this year, as I might go on to apply for a master's degree later on.  My schedule is pretty free - not really involved with many extracurricular activities, but I cannot motivate myself to do any work.   Next week is really busy for me, with assignments, a midterm, an essay due, and even though it is the long weekend and I have no plans, I keep procrastinating. I just can't get myself to do anything.  Partially because I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do, and I just don't know what the point is.   I went on sertraline about 10 days ago so the effects of the low dosage have not kicked in yet, but I am hoping it does eventually help with motivation.   ​  I am not sure what to do anymore",0.9124,positive,ashamed
760,MentalHealthSupport,Seriously lack motivation,listener_1,2,"I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:  - [/r/mentalhealth] [Seriously lack motivation](https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/dhdshw/seriously_lack_motivation/)   *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))*",0.34,positive,annoyed
760,MentalHealthSupport,Seriously lack motivation,speaker,3,Thank you for this. I really appreciate it,0.6697,positive,sympathizing
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,speaker,1,"Okay, I'm new to this group and I really am sorry it this triggers anyone as I dont mean to upset or offend anyone.  But just for prewarning this does contain talk about suicide.   Right, last night I was getting texts of a friend (for the sake of this post we will call her Ruby) saying that she was grateful for everything I had done for her and to tell her now ex-boyfriend (we'll call him Phil) that she was sorry. She also text me saying that she loves me and hopes I get everything good in life.   I instantly knew what Ruby was implying so I asked my partner to drive me to her house so I could prevent what ever was going to happen. While texting Ruby she told me not to tell Phil, but I thought he should know what was going on and that I was on the way to check on her.   Phil started getting a little arsey with me as I wasnt 'getting to her quick enough' and told me that I was preventing him from seeing her when all I said to him was that Ruby had said shed rather not see you right now as she doesnt want you to see her in this state. I also told Phil that I would go and check on her, make sure shes okay and then he could come over once she had agreed to it.   Phil started getting even more moody with me and told me that if she dies hes doing me for Manslaughter. Which I thought was incredibly bang out of order. This annoyed my so admittedly I did send back some rude-ish messages.  He also was requiring me to update him with every little thing and all I responded with was 'I'm trying to comfort her, and how am I suppose to do so when texting you constantly'. He never responded to me but started texting my partner telling him that he has no idea what hes got himself into. And that I'm a self-control b*tch.   When I got to Ruby she was emotional, but okay, and when I left her she was just very sleepy, but again okay. (I have also only known Ruby for 5 months so dont know when shes lying to me).  But apparently when Phil got there she was in a bad state and had to ring the ambulance and she ended up have some bloods, threw up alot and was on the Physc ward for the night.  I also have to work with Phil, and I'm now having serious Anxiety about going to work tomorrow and I have no idea how to address the situation anymore. I'm scared of him in all honesty.  I dont think I did anything wrong, but I dont know.  Also, Ruby got home the next morning and is okay now.",0.407,positive,ashamed
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,listener_1,2,First thing well done I want to give you a hug you did so well in making sure you dealt with this and its not something anyone would think that they would have to do for someone in the way that this type of situation would come to you to deal with but you did. X x   You did noting wrong don't mind her bf he was just panicking or maybe you learned something about his personality when things don't go well for him that is his problem doe not yours. I have anxiety too and it s hard to switch off do you get help for anxiety or did it get like a stronger feeling that you haven't felt before   I was suicidal and it was scary my mind was in a trace state when I went though it and I did come out of it lucky enough but anything happened but I didn't give anyone a warning as it came on strong and I was going to commit it at the moment when I didn't feel ok so I appreciate what you did for your friend . Plus it shows how much she wanted you to be there for her.    If you need to talk some more pm me and let us know how you got on in work if you went. IF not yeah pm me and I can talk to you some more about this.,-0.0892,negative,neutral
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, I didn't do it for appreciation though. It was just a natural thing to instantly go and help her.   I hope it was her bf just reacting badly in this situation. I get that no one know what to do in this situation, but I feel like even after he calmed down he could of messaged me saying sorry.   I used to get Help for my Anxiety, but it kind of settled down for a bit. Last night was the worst it has been in a very long time. Causing me to freak out and I have not gone into work today. Very paranoid now.  Thank you ever so much :)",0.7977,positive,sympathizing
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,speaker,4,❤❤,0.8555,positive,grateful
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,listener_1,5,Its good that it came natural to you its shows part of your personality. Don't look for a sorry look at what you did for her and him and pat yourself on the back and say to yourself that you did well. Take in all the positives of that situation that you saved a life and one that needed someone to get her out of it in her mental state that was crying out for someone she trusted to help her he is probably upset and in shock that it wasn't him to so that is understandable and when you go in and if big if he talks to you and get angry about say that she is well and here with ye and that is whats important and see if he need reassurance. Seem like he wanted to be the bigger guy and that is normal.   Be the stronger person if you think you can if not you see all the things that can be effected by not going into work your anxiety will get the better of you and in a way it was a mild trauma ye went though as you did not know what to expect. I am always here I am still getting help for mine and my trauma I went though. Do something nice for yourself and things that relaxes you too. :) X x  P.s I think all the anxiety you are going though now and the paranoia is normal mind yourself like I said pm me anytime you need to talk some more if you think I can help.,0.9756,positive,neutral
761,MentalHealthSupport,I dont know how to address this.,speaker,6,"Awh bless you, thank you. I didnt do this for pride or post this for praise. I just dont know if I was in the wrong or if her bf was. But thank you",0.7814,positive,sympathizing
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,1,"The depression reared up about two hours ago. It's 1:30am and I can't call anyone. I tried texting my brother sin e he's often up at night but I'm guessing he must he at work (he works on Monday nights).  I've put a load of washing on and I'm about to do some sewing if I can think of anything to make, normal self-care strategies, just looking to break the feeling of isolation at the moment.  These bouts don't normally last and I don't want to call lifeline for a mild bout and block someone who really needs to get through. I'm pretty sure a casual chat will do the trick.",-0.3576,negative,lonely
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_1,2,Hello! How are you?,0.0,neutral,questioning
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,3,"Better than I was half an hour ago. I got sidetracked by something on the computer that needed sorting out and the distraction helped. Got in the ""zone"".  You?",0.0772,positive,content
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,4,"Thankfully I'm not suicidal or anything, just down. I've battled the suicidal path many times, this is nothing like that. It's more like a blue day.  I had a very busy day and got incredibly tired but couldn't go to bed because my son was wide awake lol I think that's all that's triggered it.  It was actually a pretty good day, I heard the baby's heartbeat. That's why I'm pretty sure it'll pass.",0.9595,positive,content
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,5,Heya. How's your day been so far?  If I go quiet it just means I managed to fall asleep.,0.0,neutral,questioning
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_2,6,"<3 it’s the little things, right?",0.0,neutral,questioning
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_3,7,"It’s been good, just got it started with some hot chocolate and music practice. What’s going on with you?",0.4404,positive,questioning
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,8,"Absolutely! Gentle reminders of what we have to look forward to :)  Not so great for relapses, but perfect for down days lol",0.8975,positive,agreeing
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,9,"Hot chocolate sounds good! If it wouldn't mess up my fasting sugars I'd totally have some lol  I think it's just hormones plus tiredness, really. It's not bad bad, just kinda flat. I'm feeling better now than I was.",0.9474,positive,content
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_3,10,"Yeah, I get that. I’ve been dealing with a ton of exhaustion recently, todays the first day I’ve been able to sleep in for a while.",-0.0772,negative,agreeing
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,11,"Ooh, sleep in and then hot chocolate, what a way to live it up!!! :D",0.7104,positive,acknowledging
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_3,12,"It’s great! I can’t complain  Did anything set off your depression tonight that you want to talk about, or it just sorta happened?",-0.2714,negative,questioning
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,13,"I'm not sure. There were no obvious triggers; went shopping with my son, had a few random conversations with some pleasant strangers, had subway for dinner, played with my son for a bit after dinner, then he fell asleep on me and I put him to bed.  Rather pleasant evening all told.  I strongly suspect hormones, a few days shy of 30 Weeks pregnant.",0.5773,positive,content
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_3,14,"Yeah, hormones are probably responsible for this. Depression during pregnancy also isn’t unheard of.",-0.0516,negative,agreeing
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",speaker,15,"I live with depression normally (hence knowing the difference between a relapse and a down day), but was hit really hard with PND after my son was born. It's still lurking in the background but 50mg of Sertraline daily has been holding it at bay while I've been pregnant.  I don't think this is perinatal depression, just a ""bump"" :)",-0.7343,negative,sad
762,MentalHealthSupport,"Not looking for a fix, just a chat",listener_3,16,Alright! Is there anything else you need to discuss?,0.3164,positive,questioning
763,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t get over the harrasment,speaker,1,"So, I’m 29yo, suffering from depression and anxiety, been on antidepressants for quite a while now and I can’t get over the harassment that I experienced few months ago on instagram.   There was a girl that I used to hang out 10 years ago, last year she followed me on instagram and we talked sometimes, i was trying to give her some advice about therapy, mental health in general. I thought i was supportive and i really wanted to help her although she was quite toxic 10 years ago.   Few months ago I shared a meme on my instagram and she absolutely lost it. She thought the meme was directed towards her (ot wasn’t, i just thought it was funny) and she harrased me for three days on instagram, every time i would block one account she would make another one. The messages were disgusting, telling me to kill myself, saying no one loves me, that my bf is not happy with me, how i ruined her life, that I’m the same as her dad and it was literally hundreds of messages. Also, to make things work, she texted some of my colleagues and my bf. She also posted stories on her instagram saying i should kill myself. I did report everything but nothing happened.  It’s been months now and i still can’t get over it, i think about it every night, I’m afraid she will do it again. It really bothers me, no one ever said those things to me. I honestly need an advice how to get over this, how to forget it. Any advice is welcome! Thank you",-0.906,negative,faithful
763,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t get over the harrasment,listener_1,2,"Pray to the Lord, do not kill yourself. Pray to the Lord for strength and healing in your heart, do not listen to a foul minded being. Ignoring is the best, also this is the prime reason why I do not use social media. I would quit instagram and other social medias, texting is fine. You must put a foot in the ground and stand up for yourself, crying does not do anything, killing yourself will only give her the gratification, do not give in. Fight it, and do not ever think about killing yourself.",0.939,positive,faithful
763,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t get over the harrasment,speaker,3,"No worries, i would never take my own life because of someone like that, i would never give her that pleasure.",0.8192,positive,agreeing
763,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t get over the harrasment,listener_1,4,"Good, also I do recommend you take action or ignore.",0.4404,positive,neutral
764,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone in here been diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder?,speaker,1,"I haven't been officially diagnosed, but literally all the symptoms are me. It's ruined my life. Can anyone open up to me about this?",-0.631,negative,trusting
764,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone in here been diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder?,listener_1,2,"I would advise caution in looking at DSM-5 symptoms lists as an actual diagnostic guide. If those were the only criteria, I would be diagnosed with like 2/3 of the disorders in that book. They can provide reasonable guidelines for what to discuss with a professional, but self-diagnosis is a generally risky idea. Now, on the subject of histrionic personality disorder, it's another thing I could theoretically diagnose myself with, but I have no actual experience with it, and am therefore of no use on that particular question.",-0.8625,negative,apprehensive
764,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone in here been diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder?,listener_2,3,I agree with DNetherdrake. Self-diagnosis is dangerous. There’s a lot more to psychiatry/psychology than what’s in the DSM.,-0.1531,negative,agreeing
764,MentalHealthSupport,Has anyone in here been diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder?,listener_1,4,"I mean, hell, my clinically trained psychologist won't even diagnose me. Last time I was there she said ""it seems like there's more going on here than depression. I think there's some underlying issue. I'm going to recommend you to a different psychologist to actually diagnose you"". Diagnoses in psychology are ridiculously difficult and complicated, and most trained professionals won't even do them. It's not something to try yourself.",-0.8481,negative,angry
765,MentalHealthSupport,Dumplings - an app for personal storytelling,speaker,1,"Hi friends.  I think that one of the most important aspects of mental health is expressing your thoughts and feelings to others. This isn't always the easiest thing to do, of course - it takes time, and often we're worried about being judged by others. With this in mind, I recently launched Dumplings, an iOS app for personal storytelling.  The app seeks to empower individuals to share their voice with the world, and enable readers to learn from the experiences of others. Dumplings makes the process fast and on-the-go, and offers a safe and anonymous platform.   I'm hoping this can be helpful for someone here - please let me know if there is any way I can make the app better for you.  [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dumplings-personal-stories/id1481426648](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dumplings-personal-stories/id1481426648)",0.9378,positive,proud
765,MentalHealthSupport,Dumplings - an app for personal storytelling,listener_1,2,I hope it could be available via Android. :),0.7096,positive,encouraging
765,MentalHealthSupport,Dumplings - an app for personal storytelling,speaker,3,I'm working on an Android version at the moment - I'm hoping to get it out in the next month!,0.4753,positive,hopeful
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,speaker,1,"When you’ve found yourself sunken back into that dreaded deep dark hole...   What do you do?   Generally for fun or distraction.   This is for those people out there whose mental conditions are pretty severe to the point they can’t have a job. (Like me)   I would just like some advice/tips that are real and practical.   Things that people who are maybe in the same position as me, try to do for self support when you have no friends and there’s no one around.   Also, any tips on what can help with the energy draining depression causes?   Every time I’m in a depressed mood, I find myself sooooo sleepy, tired, fatigued, or exhausted feeling. And all I can think about is sleep. (One of the most annoying sides of depression)   Does anyone have any tips on how to pull yourself out of that no-energy funk?   Like maybe; what you do, what you eat, what you drink, any supplements/vitamins that help, any scents that help boost energy, any music, sounds, feelings, activities, etc.   (And yes, we all know the typical “get out in nature” but I’m asking for in-home remedies because I can go outside any time I want, but when I’m inside that’s when I find myself pondering on what to do)   Thanks in advance to any help you offer",0.8301,positive,apprehensive
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,listener_1,2,"I watch alot of vines. Or some tik tok compilations on YouTube, and remember,  the cringier the better.",0.4404,positive,nostalgic
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,speaker,3,"Does it also feel like you aren’t ever fully awake? Like maybe you’re in a dream-like state? That’s how it feels for me quite a lot.   And yes! You sound a lot like me tbh. Cleaning, tidying up, and doing laundry are somewhat therapeutic for me in a weird way.   Also, I’ve come to like making little crafts and such with glue and putting small things together with my hands or tools. I like small details in things. And the large amount of focus they require.",0.925,positive,nostalgic
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,listener_2,4,Yes sometimes I feel like I must be dreaming and when I do sleep my dreams are really vivid and very realistic it almost seems like I’m really there,0.8451,positive,terrified
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,speaker,5,"Yeah, since a child my dreams have always been lucid and vivid. It’s really odd because sometimes my dreams feel more real that real life.",0.6133,positive,agreeing
766,MentalHealthSupport,What are some things you do at home to soothe/comfort your anxieties or any depressive moods?,listener_2,6,Well I really sincerely hope things begin to get better for you hun,0.8903,positive,consoling
766,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,1,"I can’t really talk to my parents about this, because if I asked for a therapist, they’d ask me why and I really can’t explain to them, it would be impossible to explain and they’d just judge me. I need a therapist but I can’t get access to one, I’ve told my friends and they say I need one, which I do, but they can’t get me one. It may be out of nowhere, but I think I have depression at the very least. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since 5th grade (I’m now in 8th), I’ve planned, I’ve put guns, knives, etc, up to my body and just barely convince myself not to. I have no plan on finishing high school, I want to run away from my dumbass town and get a life. I need a therapist but I can’t get one in real life, I want a professional online, but I have no money. I know this’ll be buried, so TL;DR: I want a therapist but have no money and can’t get my parents to get one.",-0.9561,negative,apprehensive
766,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_4,2,"I think you should talk to your parents about getting therapy. I know it sounds unbearable and you're worried what they'll think, but it's for the best. I don't know your whole situation, but I'm sure there is at least someone that would be crushed if you committed suicide. I'd be willing to wager the simple act of sharing what your going through with them to get some help would relieve considerable pressure off of you.",0.797,positive,suggesting
766,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,3,"I’ll try but I’d have to do it at a good time, but I still doubt they’d do anything.",0.1531,positive,neutral
766,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,4,"Mine is kinda annoying, I highly doubt she can help based on what other's've said.",-0.3612,negative,annoyed
767,MentalHealthSupport,would really like some advice,speaker,1,"Hello,  So Ive fallen into the rabbit hole of saying ""what's the point"", not finding any motivation, and overwhelming anxiety. I feel like if I talk to anyone they'll say I'm lazy or trying to jump on the depression bandwagon. I'm able to keep myself going through the days by dismissing it as a rough patch, but it's been well over a year now and I'm getting sick of feeling helpless. I know the immediate response is talk to someone but that's a part of what's keeping my down is my anxiety about exactly that (at least this is anonymous). I just don't know what to do, so I suppose I'm asking for a few words of wisdom.",-0.7655,negative,ashamed
767,MentalHealthSupport,would really like some advice,listener_1,2,"Not sure if this will help but I am going to try.   Something that in a way motivates me when I get those thoughts is my own curiosity. Let me try and explain this the best I can.   For me when I say ""what is the point of this"" ""why am I even trying"" ""what is the point of anything"" I remind myself I do not know what is about to come next and it might be the most beautiful unexpected thing ever.   So if I give up now I will not know what that beautiful life changing thing will be. I will miss out on something great and that helps me continue. There is always something great coming your way and sometimes you just need to keep walking one step at a time to reach it.   So I guess it is wanting to know what my next amazing opportunity will be is what motivates me. Quitting now will just leave me 100% sad. If I keep walking forward well there is a slight chance I run into something amazing and I am way too curious and I want to know what that amazing thing will be.   Motivate yourself by reminding yourself that something amazing is so close keep going so you can find out yourself what it is.   ​  Hope you feel better!!! Always reach out. It is better to talk with strangers than sit alone in your own thoughts.",0.9977,positive,apprehensive
767,MentalHealthSupport,would really like some advice,speaker,3,"Thank you, I'll definitely try that!",0.6696,positive,agreeing
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,speaker,1,"The title is very self-explanatory but I suppose a little bit of background would be proper. So, I had been dealing with (not clinically approved because of the country I live in) depression foe a very, very long time with constant thoughts of suicide, anxiety and social anxiety, and anger issues (idk if i’d call it BPD but it sure looked like it.). This all came along with self esteem problems and self hate, obviously. But, I finally started feeling much, much better around 4-5 months ago, on me and my girlfriend’s 5th month. She helped me so much through it all, and I helped her just as much (at least I tried to). I was in the worst rut, worst slump one can imagine of, not even knowing what “happiness” was, which ended when she showed me that life indeed is worth living.   Last year my grades were hitting rock bottom, the lowest I had ever seen in my life. This year, after getting better, I promised to my family, to my girlfriend and to myself that I would study properly and get those grades back up, especially Math and Literature. Well... Today, I had my Math exam and I failed so miserably. I probably got a passing mark but it is so, so low. The exam went horribly, and I am feeling so bad right now.. I feel like I’m going back into the same rut, the same slump... And the reason for my suicidal thoughts isn’t even the fact that I got a low mark, it’s because I failed to keep my promise I gave to the ones I love the most, the fact that I failed the ones who brought the only joy to my life...  I just want to kill myself and I do not know what to do. I do not have anyone to talk to except my girlfriend, and I really, really don’t want her to know about this because I know that it will make her sad too..",-0.997,negative,ashamed
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,listener_1,2,"Ah, but you didn't fail to keep your promise. You studied and you tried your best which is part of the promise, and the second part can be kept by speaking to your teacher and asking for help to better understand the work in order to improve your grade next time.  Yiu have come from a very dark place and this is just a hiccup that is blinding you to your progress. Look back over the past ten months as a whole and weigh it up. From the outside, completely objective, I see about ten steps forward and one step back, meaning you're nine steps ahead of where you were.  And you're the one responsible for that progress. You. You're the one who made the commitment and then followed through!",0.9916,positive,neutral
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,speaker,3,"My promise was to get over a certain point (at least 75/100), not to “do my best” and fail miserably yet again. And I definitely didn’t accomplish this. Honestly I feel like a disappointment to everyone, like a worthless piece of crap...",0.25,positive,disappointed
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,listener_1,4,"If that's the case, you need to make your promises more realistic :)  Learning and improving is a process, you don't just suddenly get good at subjects. By seeking instruction from your teacher you can still learn and improve.  A better promise might be ""I promise to study and improve my grades"" rather than setting a particular mark as the immediate goal.",0.9715,positive,suggesting
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,speaker,5,"Fuck dude. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Even though your take on school doesn’t really apply to me (I’m actually one of those “freaks” who enjoy going to school, and I’m in a pretty good school with an amazing teacher team that, surprisingly, ACTUALLY cares about the students) I cannot let this minor thing take me down. I need to straighten up and fix it on January when I have my next examination. Even though this was primarily my fault for not studying enough and being irresponsible, I cannot let a minor test shape my feelings, my mental health.  Thanks. I really, really needed to hear this.",0.872,positive,angry
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,listener_2,6,I'm glad to hear it! Always sucks to see people brought down from things like school,0.5093,positive,acknowledging
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,listener_3,7," Hi glad, I'm Dad!",0.5093,positive,sympathizing
768,MentalHealthSupport,I (16M) want to kill myself and I hate myself for it.,listener_2,8,Are you fuckin for real with me lmao,0.5994,positive,questioning
769,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice on going through a friend breakup?,speaker,1,"My friend of 4 years, who has become an important part of my life, has stood by me through the worst and best parts of my life so far, and was part of all of my future plans, just texted me that she doesn't want to be friends anymore, and not to contact her ever again. I don't know what I did wrong and I'm kind of falling apart again right now.",0.4561,positive,devastated
769,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice on going through a friend breakup?,listener_1,2,Have you asked her yet why?,0.0,neutral,questioning
769,MentalHealthSupport,Any advice on going through a friend breakup?,speaker,3,"She told me not to ever contact her again so I can't ask, I can only speculate ;-;",0.0,neutral,questioning
770,MentalHealthSupport,Am I In denial or... normal?,speaker,1,"Okay so, for a long time i kinda assumed there was something wrong with me but i have no one to talk. Most of the time i feel like scum of the earth and get thoughts i shouldn’t. i know i shouldn’t want to hurt myself and its wrong, but its so hard to pull myself out of this mentally. every once in awhile i feel like i’m on top of the world, the most confident i’ve felt in my life. this makes me think that everything’s going to be okay. I swing in and out of this mentality every couple days. i get randomly angry for no reason, or super energetic, or really sad. i thought it was just teenage hormones and it’ll pass. despite that, each time i get hit with this immense sadness and i feel like i can’t make it another day. singing helps calm me down even though i’m not good. sometimes ill try to think back on happy things, but always come to a blank, it might be my brain trying to indulge in my sadness, but i have a hard time remembering anything. names, memories, even something i just said. i space out a lot and daydream, or sometimes i wont be thinking about anything at all. i think my friends get annoyed with me cause i do this while they’re talking, but never on purpose. i get yelled at everyday for not doing my all my chores, i always forget, but my mother says i’m lazy. i think shes right, but a lot of times i just can’t get out of bed, even if my whole body’s in pain, i’m starving, or need the bathroom. Also, school, i would have good grades if they didn’t give so much homework. ill start doing it, but it’s unbearable, i can’t focus. never been able to, my mom would yell at me for hours and i still couldn’t do it. always been that way,, and when i can’t focus i get really angry and cry, because i try so hard and i cant do anything right. ive bought some medications, and everything was pretty good for awhile, but stopped taking them because i felt guilty for trying to self diagnose. so basically, what i’m asking is if i’m like everyone else or do i need help? its driving me crazy, i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to tell anyone because they’re just going to think i want attention, and feel bad for even writing because what if there’s nothing wrong with me.",-0.9773,negative,trusting
770,MentalHealthSupport,Am I In denial or... normal?,listener_1,2,Ok. It sounds like you might have ADHD and potentially depression. This is not normal,-0.29600000000000004,negative,acknowledging
770,MentalHealthSupport,Am I In denial or... normal?,speaker,3,"do you know who i can go to for this? i can’t tell my mom, so i gotta figure out how to help myself",0.4019,positive,trusting
770,MentalHealthSupport,Am I In denial or... normal?,listener_1,4,Is there a school counselor you can talk to?,0.0,neutral,questioning
771,MentalHealthSupport,"i want to get hurt, but for knowledge not because i hate myself- why?",speaker,1,"i have this weird fixation with getting hurt. i know realistically i dont really want to be injured, bc, well, it would hurt, but some part of my brain just wants the experience. ive never really been hurt in my life, never been punched or broken anything. i have pretty bad cramps and have bad joints, and although those do hurt, they aren't direct injuries. i want to know what it feels like to be sucker punched, or fall from a balcony, or hell idk, be stabbed! the concept of inflicted pain is totally foreign to me, and bc of that i want to know.  this isn't a result of self loathing or self harm or suicidal thoughts, nothing like that. its purely analytical and a want for knowledge/experience.  is this normal? is this super weird? can anyone relate? is it a symptom of some sort of disorder? why do i think these things?",-0.9949,negative,apprehensive
771,MentalHealthSupport,"i want to get hurt, but for knowledge not because i hate myself- why?",listener_1,2,"Do you write?  I had a similar thing, but because I wanted to know what it was like so that I could write with some authority.",0.5719,positive,questioning
771,MentalHealthSupport,"i want to get hurt, but for knowledge not because i hate myself- why?",speaker,3,"i mean yeah i write, and it would come in handy for that i suppose, but its mostly just a want for personal knowledge/experience. interesting take, will consider",0.6808,positive,neutral
771,MentalHealthSupport,"i want to get hurt, but for knowledge not because i hate myself- why?",listener_1,4,"It's actually not that unusual, it's common curiousity.  It's following through on it that's not normal.",0.0,neutral,neutral
771,MentalHealthSupport,"i want to get hurt, but for knowledge not because i hate myself- why?",speaker,5,"thank you for your viewpoint, will take this into consideration 👍",0.3612,positive,wishing
772,MentalHealthSupport,Once again my head is spinning I feel distressed and I find myself with more questions than answers to my current situation,speaker,1,I am 16yrs old currently studying at a college having a real hard time of things lately feeling a lot of pressure from multiple different places and people aswell as that I’m dealing with at the moment anyway what I know to be a real bad case of depression which often leaves me feeling helpless and devoid of hope and very empty inside at the moment I wouldn’t consider myself at risk of suicide Im actually trying to find a way out of this and get better the problem being though it isn’t getting better it’s getting worse my bad periods get worse and worse than the last ones and it becomes more difficult to pull myself out of the constant slumps I get put in I don’t sleep at night I’m always restless and I have a real short fuse with people iv had periods of depression before but they were nothing like this this feels way worse and severe than before I would happily take simple depression over this and it’s not even just a case of feeling bad my mind feels messed up aswell I constantly have thoughts like I shouldn’t be here or I would rather be dead than go through this I have been constantly putting these thoughts to one side and ignoring them but I realise I can’t anymore it’s serious now and I need to start taking it seriously they are there nagging away at me everyday taking chunks out of me reminding me that I need help but I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me so I don’t even know what my first step is and how to go about getting help I have told my mum that i feel like I need a new diagnosis and iv had numerous discussions with her she knows I’m struggling she doesn’t know how much and I fear no one does but she knows if anyone recognises my symptoms or has them themselves and knows what it could be please comment also let me know what steps you think I should take,-0.9941,negative,terrified
772,MentalHealthSupport,Once again my head is spinning I feel distressed and I find myself with more questions than answers to my current situation,listener_1,2,"This sounds very similar to how I was about 10 years ago. I was diagnosed with chronic depression / dysthymia. And when you have the big dips they call it double depression.  Having a title and a diagnosis made me feel worse, so did the drugs so I stopped taking them.   Unfortunately it took a tragic circumstance of one of my friends commuting suicide to give me the confidence to speak out publicly. Everyone swarmed to my sides initially to offer their help. After a while it calmed down and my closest friends have now learned that I don’t need pity or anything like that and they have promised to be there when I ask as long as I’m honest and tell them when I’m struggling.  It’s scary, confusing and utterly exhausting. You may find the professional route better? I found the social support route better. I still struggle but I know I have a safety net whenever I want it.  Whichever way you want to go taking those first steps take so much courage and bravery.  Don’t be scared to ask for help  I’m always available if you want to let off some steam. Keep safe",0.948,positive,trusting
772,MentalHealthSupport,Once again my head is spinning I feel distressed and I find myself with more questions than answers to my current situation,speaker,3,Thank you appreciate it,0.6369,positive,sympathizing
773,MentalHealthSupport,how to ask for support in a healthy way?,speaker,1,"how do i reach out for support from my friends / let them know how i’m feeling without negatively impacting their own mental health?   me (19f) & my friends (20f, 19m, 19f) all deal with similar mental health struggles (depression, anxiety etc) but they are such lovely kind amazing people who are really good at calming me down and helping me, but i know this can bring them down or trigger them.   earlier this year i struggled really badly with self harm and suicidal thoughts, and it’s safe to say i wouldn’t be here without my friends. however, i also know that the way i relied on them wasn’t healthy for either of us - i became over dependent on one friend in particular but she is almost too empathetic - she subsequently also struggled with suicidal ideation etc, but felt she could not reach out to me as i was already having a hard enough time, and then i felt bad for reaching out to her so much, isolated myself, things got bad, and then eventually i got some help (hello antidepressants!) and things improved a bit, and then didn’t see them all summer (we are uni students)  things have improved for me (and her) since and i would say we are both more stable now, but today i’ve had a really low day and felt the old urges come back. i don’t want to hide things from my friends, but i also know that it wasn’t healthy how much i leaned on them last time. how can i find a healthy balance?",0.9691,positive,questioning
773,MentalHealthSupport,how to ask for support in a healthy way?,listener_1,2,"First of all, well done for this brilliant question. Not only does it show that you care about the well being of your friends and that you're a mature and considerable person; it also shows a certain level of awareness and caution very mature for a 19yo. Well done 👍  First I would advise that all of you who have been suffering, please see a therapist. Please. You're so  young and going to a good therapist can make a huge difference in your life when you nip it in the bud. Difficult circumstances in my own life led me to therapy at 17. I had a wonderful caring therapist, and today, over ten years later, I work as a therapist :) to changed my life.  Two, find fun positive hobbies that are great for mental health and do it together! If it's physical, even better! Hiking, yoga, meditation, dancing, calisthenics, jujitsu, swimming - there's lots of cool stuff in life to get interested into. Maybe two of you are great programmers; why not try to build, create, or start something that unites all of your values? You and your friends just have things in common you enjoy or feel passion about.  Three: EDUCATE YOURSELF about psychology, self care, positive mental hygiene, and find what works for you. Journalling, dancing, painting can help with self expression and provide a space for you to work on you, without relying on anyone else. Art is a process of self discovery, as is music.  Good luck and YOU GO GIRL 💪💪👊👍",0.998,positive,grateful
773,MentalHealthSupport,how to ask for support in a healthy way?,listener_2,3,"Not OP, but this is probably the best response I’ve ever seen on this sub",0.7783,positive,impressed
774,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed? Need advice.,speaker,1,"Hello everyone, I’m an 18 year old high schooler and I’m going through some confusing feelings at the moment, but I can’t the reason behind these feelings. Hopefully someone can give me an advice, if not I’ll try to get professional help.   Last week I made a difficult decision of quitting the school band that I’ve spent since I started on 6th grade. The choice was made due to the strict, unsupportive band directors that started making the band environment from a happy and enjoyable place to somewhere you feel forced to be and not enjoyable. That was a difficult decision, but I started to feel less stress in my daily life just going to school and leaving early. Now I want to cut ties with my friends, I don’t really feel that the connection is there anymore and most of my friends are in band so we barely even each other and honestly even though I thought they supported me for this decision I started to feel a bit judged and I just don’t want to be around them anymore, it feels like I don’t belong there.   I’m having an amazing time with my family, but whenever I’m alone in my room I just wish I had someone special, someone I could love, but at the same time I want to be alone. I’m not really understanding myself and lately I just want to start over in college. Meet new people and get a new routine in my life, I’m thinking to get a job and start going to the gym to release stress and distract myself from these thoughts, but I’m not sure that if even doing those things I’ll feel good.  Thank you so much if you read until the end, I appreciate it :)  tl;dr -> I started cutting ties with friends and with an organization I’ve spent so much time of my life in.",0.9927,positive,apprehensive
774,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed? Need advice.,listener_1,2,"Hey, thanks for sharing. Your feelings are valid and real. I would suggest not cutting ties with friends completely but it’s also okay to take space for yourself. I’d also recommend getting a therapist. Even if it’s not depression, having confusing feelings and not know how to interpret them can be really hard. A therapist can help you sort through what you’re feeling and make sense of your confusion.   You should be proud of yourself for making the hard decision to leave band despite judgement from friends when you felt that it was the right decision for you! That takes courage and a lot of people would cave and stick with their friends even if they didn’t feel comfortable/safe/able to be themselves in that situation.",0.9747,positive,agreeing
774,MentalHealthSupport,Am I depressed? Need advice.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your words and the time you took to type them. I’ll follow your advice of going and talk to a therapist, I’m sure it’ll really help me mentally. I plan to stick to a few friends, just the real ones that I know they respect my decision and stick with me. Thank you again kind stranger :)",0.9678,positive,wishing
775,MentalHealthSupport,"Is This a Concern? --Don't Care About Anything, and Getting Worse.--",speaker,1,"Hello all. As the title indicates, slowly, but surely, I am losing my sense of caring about much.   To explain, I've begun doing less and less in school because I really could not care less if I ended up homeless in a ditch. I've been doing increasingly strange things just cause I'm bored. An example of this is butting into the conversation of a few girls walking to class and acting like I never did, butting in and switching to a mean girls accent, saying something along the lines of ""Oh my god girl you know it, Becky is such a dirty slut! She's already been with three guys this year!""  While these things are fun, I am afraid that it will degenerate even worse, and I could say that I don't care about what police say is legal, or not caring whether or not something could hurt me.   Along with this though, I kinda just feel like life is a joke. I don't mean that in a depression cryptic way, I mean that this whole not caring thing started with me thinking the world was just generally humorous, how we are trying to get on with our lives even though we'll all die. Doing the same thing over and over and over again, but being unable to break that chain. Being restricted from such silly things as rules. Like honestly, what could stop you from just leaving your house amd walking? Just forever? Till you reach the water, then you walk onto a boat, sail away till you can walk again. Realistically, who's going to stop you? The guys in the blue suits? The guys that are mad you ain't paying your mortgage?   So these were the thoughts that started it all. Life is so short, I know there's so much more beyond just our lives, and it just feel humorous seeing everyone, including me doing the same stupid fucking monotonous thing over and over and over just like a gold fish swimming around his little treasure chest for the 18th time in a day just cause he doesn't know any better.  If there are any pros out there, or just people with their humble opinion, I would love to hear it! And I know you're thinking it, I do promise not to go Arthur Fleck on everyone. If anything, this whole not caring thing has caused me to be less violent",-0.9717,negative,ashamed
775,MentalHealthSupport,"Is This a Concern? --Don't Care About Anything, and Getting Worse.--",listener_1,2,This actually sounds very NOT good so if you can then please consult your parents on making an appointment with a therapist so that he/she can help you,0.3216,positive,suggesting
775,MentalHealthSupport,"Is This a Concern? --Don't Care About Anything, and Getting Worse.--",speaker,3,"Being completely honest with you, I've held out on doing this not cause I'm afraid, but honestly because I love it. When you don't care about nothing, there isn't anything that can really get to you. Parents disappointed in you? I mean sure, but I ain't disappointed in myself. Homeless on the street? Who really cares? You got there yourself and that's that.   I love this because I don't worry about anything anymore, and in fact see everything as kind of pointless, but pointlessly fun! Grades don't matter anymore, love don't matter anymore, nothing else matters anymore, and all that's left to question seems to be whether or not you'll take the final and extra step in really allowing yourself to break whatever terrible, boring cycle you follow.   I definitely will go to my parents about this, which isn't strange because I am only a Sophomore, but I'll go to my dad, see what's up, and take steps from there, however secretly and honestly, I really really hope this doesn't go away",0.9868,positive,content
775,MentalHealthSupport,"Is This a Concern? --Don't Care About Anything, and Getting Worse.--",listener_2,4,"That is an interesting mind set. Maybe you are comfortable here because it is easy. How can you truly ever fail at anything if you don’t try? How can you be disappointed in yourself in you don’t care?   Seems to me this mindset can only last so long and it might get darker from here. Going through life not caring about anything is no way to live though. Life is about the feelings and connections with other people, that is what makes us human our ability to feel, whether it’s good or not.   I have had experience with this numb not caring feeling before and anti depressants have been a big help to even out the seratonin levels in my brain. And trust me life gets a whole lot better when things matter and make you happy.   Since you are only a sophomore and are okay with talking to your dad it seems hopefully that you will get better, if you want to get better!",0.9689,positive,sad
775,MentalHealthSupport,"Is This a Concern? --Don't Care About Anything, and Getting Worse.--",speaker,5,"I honestly do appreciate everything you say, I do however for both you and me, I'd like to explain this a bit, as you said you are a practicing psychiatrist, and I suppose I just want whatever this is to be understood.   I understand what you say, and am open to it, I get you, I do, I've said the same thing to so many people, and I know it's frustrating when they think otherwise, but this feeling I got, it's not quite numbness, rather just... Liberating I suppose? And it commonly even makes me happy, knowing that there isn't anything that can take me down because I really don't care. It frees me from caring about anything really, focusing rather on just having some fun.   I have thought increasingly strongly about leaving home and kinda just walking you know? Like I said, what would stop me? I could just keep walking and walking, and I'd love every moment of it. I mean I know my family would be distraught, but it's fine, cause I know I'm alive and fine. Maybe in light of all this, I find my way to Wisconsin, to Chicago, New York, maybe even a whole different country, and I'd have so much to show for it after.",0.9803,positive,trusting
776,MentalHealthSupport,"Need an evaluation,",speaker,1,"If this is not the right thread please let me know.  I have been struggling with my mental health for a long time and it's coming to a breaking point.   I don't currently have insurance, but plan to enroll in my plan at work this November.   I need an evaluation ASAP though. I'm in Columbus Ohio. Does anyone know where I can get evaluated for free or for low cost without insurance? I make less than $30K a year.",0.3716,positive,apprehensive
776,MentalHealthSupport,"Need an evaluation,",listener_1,2,There are some clinics that’ll evaluate you for free.   SUN Behavioral Columbus  Netcare Access  OSU Counseling and Consultation Service  North Community Counseling Center  These are ones I found by just googling,0.5106,positive,excited
776,MentalHealthSupport,"Need an evaluation,",speaker,3,"Thank you. I sent a message to SUN Behavioral. It seems like a hospital meant for people who need to or want to stay..which I don't think I need.. but it's worth asking for what I actually want. Netcare seems to only be concerned with people who are in a crisis.. OSU only offer services to enrolled students.  North Community has walk in appointments available, but during hours that I work, and it's very hard for me to get a day off.",-0.5006,negative,grateful
776,MentalHealthSupport,"Need an evaluation,",listener_1,4,I’m sorry I couldn’t help more. I don’t live in Ohio,0.34,positive,sympathizing
777,MentalHealthSupport,I know I have a fear of abandonment but is it part of another thing?,speaker,1,My doctor is avoiding sending me to someone who can diagnose me with what's happening and although a fear of abandonment is a name it's not something I feel like I can go off to gain more understanding. I wanna know exactly what is happening but I can't get help :/.,-0.6042,negative,apprehensive
777,MentalHealthSupport,I know I have a fear of abandonment but is it part of another thing?,listener_1,2,"You can go to see a therapist without a doctors referral. Depending on your insurance, it won’t be covered though. You could try googling community therapists or some therapists off sliding scale rates for students (if you’re a student). Or search for free clinics in your area for your age demographic. Or go to a walk-in clinic and get a referral from a different doctor. Mental health is important! I’m sorry your doctor isn’t taking you seriously. Remember you’re not crazy and you’re not alone! Keep fighting for the answers and help that you want.",0.8903,positive,sympathizing
777,MentalHealthSupport,I know I have a fear of abandonment but is it part of another thing?,speaker,3,"Sadly it's hard to do that in the UK, I would have to go private to see someone in the mental health field who can diagnose me with something. I'm covered on my mum's work insurance thankfully so that I can go private if I need to. My doctor was the one who told me he thinks I've got a fear of abandonment but yeah, just sucks :/.   Thank you for saying those things it really means a lot",-0.1779,negative,sympathizing
777,MentalHealthSupport,I know I have a fear of abandonment but is it part of another thing?,listener_2,4," Hi covered, I'm Dad!",0.0,neutral,sympathizing
778,MentalHealthSupport,I need help - I will have intrusive thoughts that are gonna really affect my life and I want healthy ways to combat them,speaker,1,Basically I have an image (imagine walking in on the love of your life cheating on you) stuck in my head.   I don’t know how to deal with the image that I can’t get out of my head. But I want to keep these intrusive thoughts (just thinking of why and how this happened)  from constantly coming into my head. During work during times that I don’t want to burst out crying. What are good methods for handling intrusive thoughts.,0.1027,positive,nostalgic
778,MentalHealthSupport,I need help - I will have intrusive thoughts that are gonna really affect my life and I want healthy ways to combat them,listener_1,2,"Address them. Don't avoid them. The more you push the thought away, the more they comeback with a vengeance.",0.2235,positive,sad
778,MentalHealthSupport,I need help - I will have intrusive thoughts that are gonna really affect my life and I want healthy ways to combat them,speaker,3,No. They shut off there’s no communication. I’ve done nothing but just said please I love you I accept you I just need you to allow me in and and talk to me. And be freaks out and refuses. I don’t have that option.,0.9231,positive,angry
778,MentalHealthSupport,I need help - I will have intrusive thoughts that are gonna really affect my life and I want healthy ways to combat them,speaker,4,Great to hear,0.6249,positive,acknowledging
779,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,speaker,1,"Hi. I'm not sure if this is the place to post this but if not maybe someone can at least help me find somewhere to get help. I'm currently a senior in high school. I met my girlfriend when I was a sophomore and she was a senior. We dated for around a year then she left for college. We dated for an entire year long distance then through that summer too. This year she went back off to college and broke up with me about a month in. I have no idea why. We had an almost perfect relationship for most of it's duration minus the natural amount of small fights you have with someone you're that close to. To put into perspective how close we were people in our school would randomly comment on how we would be the ones that would manage to pull through and be high school sweethearts. While I understand that's very hard to do we were still extremely close and I was and I guess still am extremely in love. I guess fast forward to early September and everything is going great. She made a new group of friends and was happy, we seemed just as in love as ever still sending eachother love notes and buying gifts and all that bullcrap. Anyway one Monday I notice she's not paying as much attention to me as usual but I figured whatever she's out with friends having fun it's all good. Tuesday the same but a bit worse. Wednesday I mention something along the lines of all good can we work this out she says she has felt off this week but we've dated for a long time we'll work through it she's not making any decisions fast. Wednesday night into Thursday morning she sleeps overnight in the same bed as one of the new guy friends she's made at school. She comes clean about it at about 4 pm but I'm obviously still a little upset about it. I have her call me as she hasn't called since Sunday and we usually call every day when she's away. She says it was an honest mistake, she didn't mean to it was innocent and I did believe her but obviously my feelings were still hurt. She goes oh so you're gonna break up with me huh and I say no if course not I don't like it that you did that and I'm upset with you but I'm not breaking up with you it wasn't malicious. Friday she breaks up with me over text after 2 years. Saturday she comes home and refused to see me breifly to talk for closure. She asks me to leave the almost $100 dollars of gifts I got her on her door and she'll pick them up and I said no you have to face me if you want them which she did but she refused to talk about breaking up. She said she still wanted to be friends and now we're not talking. Since breaking up with her over a month ago I have cried almost every day. My performance in sports has stooped to about the level it was in 6th grade and I was a state level athlete last year in the spring. I've held a 4.0 throughout all of highschool and I'm on the verge of failing 3 classes and I have no appetite and I'm losing a lot of weight. I'm currently 6'3 and 148 and losing more weight. It's not uncommon for me to eat 1 meal a day. On days that I have nothing to do it's not uncommon for me to sleep for 14-15 hours. Lately I've started dreaming about her a lot and then I wake up crying. I really thought this would be the girl I married and now she doesn't want me anywhere on her future. Everything happened so fast I have no idea why or how she just stopped loving me and what I did wrong. I haven't thought of suicide yet but my self worth and self image has never been so low. I feel like no one cares about me and no one ever will again and my body image could not be worse than it is right now. I don't know if this is just grieving, this is depression and it will pass or if it's depression and I need to get some kind of help. I'm trying but I have no idea how to get over her and I keep trying to reach out to her and every time I make things worse and end up feeling worse about myself. I don't understand what's wrong with me and why she stopped caring about me and why I can't get over it like a normal person. I've never been affectionate with anyone in my life but her and never connected to anyone in my life like I did with her, not even my own mom. If anyone has any words of advice or even just comfort it would be greatly appreciated  TL:DR: Broke up with girlfriend of two years. Very abrupt, little to no explanation, not eating, sleeping too much, not enjoying anything, very bad self image. Am I morning or depressed? Do I need to seek help or no?",0.9141,positive,suggesting
779,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_1,2,"It literally can never hurt to seek help...but I gotta tell ya, you're gonna be fine. Youre too young to find ""the one "" anyhow. Trust me better is to come.",0.8682,positive,neutral
779,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,speaker,3,I know I'm still very young and I'm not worried about finding someone else later too much I'm just worried about the present and how hard it is for me to deal with this right now. Thank you for the kind words,0.6355,positive,sentimental
779,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_1,4,Perhaps you need closure. That always helps. I hope you find a way to get it...just remember time heals all. Best of luck,0.9136,positive,consoling
779,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,speaker,5,"That's what I've been thinking too, since we never talked about it I feel like something that was one of the best parts of my life at the time got no closure and I think that's why I keep reaching out hoping that I'll eventually somehow find it but I think I'm just gonna have to suck it up and let time do its thing. Thank you again",0.5346,positive,neutral
780,MentalHealthSupport,New to anti depressants.. should I be feeling like this?,speaker,1,"I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. My doctor suggested medication, and since I’ve never tried medicating for my mental health I thought I’d give it a try. I’m on my second day of taking an anti-depressant- specifically Zoloft. I know it takes time to see improvement on these meds BUT I feel absolutely horrible. Like I could cry and scream at the same time, more intensely sad than I’ve been in a long time. Let me just say I have ZERO intention of harming myself. But I thought I’d ask, has anyone else experienced this when they started medication? Is this normal? What other side effects have you dealt with?",-0.9742,negative,terrified
780,MentalHealthSupport,New to anti depressants.. should I be feeling like this?,listener_1,2,"That happened to me with lexipro, the first 2 and a half weeks were torture. I got through it, but it ended up not being the drug for me. I started taking zoloft 2 months ago, and it really worked for me. I broke my foot right as I started taking it, and was in the hospital on some pretty heavy duty painkillers for 2 and a half weeks, so I don't really know if I had any side effects initially",-0.2144,negative,afraid
780,MentalHealthSupport,New to anti depressants.. should I be feeling like this?,speaker,3,"It’s a horrible feeling, and I’m sorry you had to go through that too. But thank you for your comment, it gave me a lot of comfort to know I’m not alone in experiencing this. I know it’s only day 2, but this is uncharted territory so it’s been a little unnerving",0.755,positive,sympathizing
780,MentalHealthSupport,New to anti depressants.. should I be feeling like this?,speaker,4,Thank you for this :) they are certainly unfortunate side effects. I got a good night sleep and I am feeling slightly better today. I’ll definitely be keeping my doctor in the loop though.,0.9202,positive,agreeing
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,speaker,1,"I am from the UK but live in Vietnam and had to confront the fact that I have some mental issues that need addressing.   Thankfully, there is one qualified psychotherapist from America (relevant as I need someone who speaks fluent English), with a tonne of qualifications and plenty of years worth of experience. So I went ahead and booked a session with her.  Now I have never had therapy before so had no idea what to expect, and she seemed perfectly lovely. Asked pretty standard questions, nothing particularly deep, just about my life in general. I thought it might take more time/more sessions to get to the nitty gritty so booked a few more.   The next session fell on Good Friday and she happened to ask what my religious preferences were. I told her, and she began telling me how people need spirituity to have a purpose in life, and how she herself has aligned with several religions in her lifetime. I have no problem her telling me that, but she then progressed to tell me that Jesus is her guide and got quite emotional and started crying.   I felt really uncomfortable and suddenly felt guilty talking about myself when the person I'm in the room with was visibly upset.   Regardless, I don't have much choice with mental help here so booked another session with her a week later. She didn't cry or bring up religion again, but our conversations feel very much like general chit chat with not a lot of psychoanalysis going on.   Like I say, I've never had therapy before so no idea if this is normal? Or if you have to stick it out a while to start getting to the analysis part?   But most importantly I want to know if my concerns over unprofessionalism are valid? Are there any red flags here?   TIA",0.987,positive,trusting
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,listener_1,2,"Yeah, it’s very unprofessional. I mean crying is one thing, but trying to pack her religion on you is a major red flag. Does she have a degree in psychology?",-0.4111,negative,questioning
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,speaker,3,"I didn't feel like she was trying to make me christian, just expressed her views to me. But that in itself made me uncomfortable.   She has an under grad, post grad, doctorate, and post doc research... So I'm a bit surprised that she reacted in such a questionable way. And that our conversations feel like chit chat!",-0.35,negative,surprised
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,speaker,4,Unfortunately there are no other therapists that speak fluent English which makes it harder.   But it's good to know I'm not crazy for thinking this is unprofessional,-0.08900000000000001,negative,trusting
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,speaker,5,Very good to know!  Are therapy sessions meant to feel like general chat?,0.7171,positive,questioning
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,listener_1,6,That’s quite shocking to hear though. If you’re not comfortable with her and you feel like it’s not helping you should stop seeing her. It’s a waste of your time.   Is there somewhere you can send in a complaint?,-0.8829,negative,questioning
781,MentalHealthSupport,Is my therapist unprofessional for crying and divulging her religious preferences in my session?,listener_2,7,"No, I wouldn't say so. More asking questions about you, your life, problems, learning coping skills etc etc.",-0.4019,negative,neutral
782,MentalHealthSupport,A little help,speaker,1,"I have always thought of myself as a mentally strong person. But a few years back my brother attempted suicide and called me to go get him from the overpass he'd split with his long time partner and was fighting a losing custody battle, few months later then split with his new significant other and was in a bad place. Multiple attempts on his life and genuine self destruction all whilst in my care. He got through and is doing amazing now and is infact helping me financially whilst im between jobs, and hes got his kid back full time and is setting up a business. he worked his ass off, went through some pretty horrific stuff again and came out stronger and is flying high. Super proud.   Few months later my best friend split with his wife and lost custody of his kid, awful, i helped where i could hes doing better regular visits life back on track. And here i think is where something in me broke, during helping him i started to have full blown panic attacks. Now ive never had one before and i like most have dealt with my fair share of shit, abuse and the like. It doesnt define me it never has but this fuckin panic attack, i thought i was going to die. Anyway i have a few of these episodes and distance myself from any stressful situations that arent my own. Me and best friend, we dont really talk anymore but its a different and complicated story and i cba to make a throwaway.   Fast forward a few good years (not great lost my job got bullied out of another, wife lost her job. We're working through it though, together and strong) yesterday on my way back from a trip out with the boys one of them gets dumped by their long term gf, out of nowhere for this kid, whole world destroyed. i have to drive the boy home hes shattered from it. Long term gf house mortgaged ect. But shes not happy and she left. Horrible but shit happens. He messages me thanks for being there bro i know you and the boys got my back. Band bros for life yo.   Come home to my wife and crack, fucking major panic attack. Woke up today bros gf moved out he called pretty upset. Chat him through it arrange a pint the next day. Major panic attack, 40 mins crying, tight chest, no breath. Every time my phone buzzes, boom back in that headspace. Hands shaking, sweating, no breath.  Whats happening to me reddit? How do i fix this?",-0.9975,negative,proud
782,MentalHealthSupport,A little help,listener_1,2,"That’s really difficult, thanks for being brave and sharing!   First off, I have experience with panic attacks and the most important thing is to remember that that don’t last. It will pass, usually within 15-20 minutes. When it’s happening, remind yourself of that, breath deep, long breaths (longer exhale than inhale, exhaling slowly helps get your parasympathetic nervous system to kick in and calm you down). You’re not crazy. It will pass. You’re not alone.   Second, I don’t think you’re weak for needing help right now. That’s a lot of emotional stress to be holding and it sounds like you’re the kind of person who loves caring for those around you. It’s heavy to care and to hold other people’s stories for so long. It’s okay to need help as well. I’d really recommend finding a good therapist so that you can have someone trained to help you sort through all the feelings and things you’re going through.   That being said, not every therapist is a good fit, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t click with the first one (or second!) that you try. Take your time, be patient with yourself, and keep trying to find help.",0.9885,positive,acknowledging
782,MentalHealthSupport,A little help,speaker,3,Thank You :),0.6705,positive,wishing
782,MentalHealthSupport,A little help,speaker,4,"Thats sound advice man, harder to do in practice  i think but sometimes the stuff needed aint easy to do",-0.4782,negative,neutral
783,MentalHealthSupport,I can't stop interrupting in conversations.,speaker,1,"Hi. I'm nearing 20 years old and I have really struggled with holding my tongue in conversation for the past 4 or 5 years. I haven't been professionally diagnosed since I was 12, and it was just PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (hardly been an issue for several years now). I've had undiagnosed issues with recalling short and long-term memories and holding attention to activies and people. I have some anxiety tied to not being able to recall things of varying importance. I tend to interject my thoughts as soon as they come to me and try to finish peoples' sentences, interrupting and annoying my fiancé, friends, and coworkers. I haven't been able to successfully cope with this issue and I'm really worried it's testing their patience extensively after all these years. Are these the signs of any undiagnosed behavioral issues? Regardless, what can I do to improve myself? Thanks in advance!",-0.3631,negative,anxious
783,MentalHealthSupport,I can't stop interrupting in conversations.,listener_1,2,"Hey man. I'm no psychiatrist but it kind of sounds a lot like ADHD. I was diagnosed at a really early age, and this sounds really similar to what I deal with. Certain medications can really help. I've been taking focalin and notice a huge difference. Try making an appointment with a professional and telling them all of the above.    Keep in mind that depression can also affect memory in the brain.   Hope this helps?   Solidarity, dude.",0.9504,positive,acknowledging
783,MentalHealthSupport,I can't stop interrupting in conversations.,speaker,3,"Thank you for the input and advice! I never really thought I fit the ADHD criteria because I have other family members who have it and it affected their physical needs to move, be outdoors, and engage in chit-chat a lot. I feel like I couldn't be opposite; I enjoy staying put and sometimes go out of my way *not* to move, I've never felt restless or fidgety, and in school I held attention relatively well, even in lectures. I'm somewhat introverted, and since my fiancé and I are on the same page and I disclose all my thoughts to them, I have requested and allowed them to generally speak for me because I tend to get stressed when upholding conversations with most unfamiliar people. I enjoy staying quiet usually, but when someone I can be a little comfortable with prompts me on my interests or ask harmless questions about anything, I talk their ear off. I've also been noted, quite often by upset folk, that I miss a lot of conversation cues and social rules (I still don't understand the 'don't talk about how much money you make' rule). Are these still circumstances that would imply someone who is just socially inept, awkward, *and* has ADHD?",0.8499,positive,grateful
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,speaker,1,I'm just not having a good day I binge ate yesterday and I'm feeling fat and I have class tomorrow and I have to pick a science far project but all my ideas are stupid and I'm really stressed because my stupid brain wont work and my mom gave me more stuff to do that I know my teacher sent days ago and I keep getting distracted and I just don't understand what's going on,-0.9538,negative,anxious
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,listener_1,2,"Hey buddy,   Not dyslexic, but maybe [this](https://www.sciencebuddies.org/science-fair-projects/project-ideas/list)  will help with the science fair part at least.",0.7579,positive,suggesting
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,speaker,3,It helped alot !,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,speaker,4,"Hi my school wasn't real chill with doing the science far project on dyslexia I decided to go with ""do different brands of batteries last longer ""  :-)",0.3182,positive,apprehensive
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,listener_2,5,"I like that idea! I hope it goes well and you have fun! I remember my project but we didnt really have a fair. It was more of a presentation. Mine was ""what's the best way to roast a marshmallow?"" It was against fire (obviously being the winner), tin foil, and a magnifying glass. My only intention during the entire thing was being able to eat marshmallows.  Edit:Grammar",0.9597,positive,excited
784,MentalHealthSupport,Is anyone else here dyslexic I just need to talk about today,speaker,6,I'd really like that thank you:-),0.6764,positive,acknowledging
785,MentalHealthSupport,I need a little help,speaker,1,Ok so like I have some problems and so I want to tell my Dad about and stuff but its kinda hard to bring it up. Also so my mom is really messed up and she has some mental problems that are huge and I'm really scared that by genes and stuff or something. I might get some of the problem. I don't really know I'm just scared and sad and there is a lot going on. I really don't know what to do. Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I am new to Reddit. Sorry,-0.9782,negative,apprehensive
785,MentalHealthSupport,I need a little help,listener_1,2,"I get you it's hard to tell people, especially when they think your ok and even more so when they have reasons to worry about stuff like that as it is. But I don't know how to go about telling your dad but there are a lot of online resources or people to talk to that can help in general with telling your dad or dealing with it. For whatever you do good luck",0.9118,positive,wishing
785,MentalHealthSupport,I need a little help,speaker,3,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,speaker,1,"This halloween I was able to find THE costume I plan on wearing. When I put it on, I felt beautiful and just really, ""me"". I got to thinking ""what if I wore things like this, all the time? It's when I feel the most me..."" and then i thought about the things my family would say. They already think there is something wrong with me for following a different spiritual path. They already think I am following, as they put it, Satan. And then I think about what the public would say when I'm walking around in an olden time dress and cloak, when Halloween is well over with. Then I think, there has to be something wrong with me for wanting to be this way.....  It is so hard trying to find the courage to stand out and be yourself when you have so much anxiety about what people will think, say, or do.",0.393,positive,confident
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,listener_1,2,"I’m totally with you there. Grew up in a conservative family, and definitely was told multiple times I’m going to Hell based on my current beliefs, or lack there of. Always very “left” brain, and was made fun of and ridiculed by friends, family, etc. I just want to be me, and it’s so very hard when you have SA. I’ve gotten a bit better as time has gone on (I’m 33).",0.2332,positive,agreeing
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,speaker,3,It makes it so complicated!,0.0,neutral,questioning
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,speaker,4,This! I love this comment. Thank you!,0.8065,positive,proud
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,listener_2,5,You are very welcome if you run into any smart people who are jealous of you been happy in yourself you can pm me as I had to learn not to care how others see me and I have been happier since.,0.8159,positive,grateful
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,speaker,6,"I may just have to take you up on that! I bet it is an amazing feeling not having to worry about what other people think. Tbh, I feel like the only persons opinion I should take into consideration is my husband's.",0.8590000000000001,positive,trusting
786,MentalHealthSupport,Is there something majorly wrong with me for wanting to be different? Anxiety is telling me that there is.,listener_2,7,Talk to your husband on how you feel about how you feel I mean he wants you to be your happier self I am sure. Its tricky I am not in a marriage but I know you have to compromise even setting a day here or there that you can dress up and get that feeling. Only you know what that is but you are right you need to think about what way he will react and feel about this which you will have to take into consideration.,0.5106,positive,agreeing
787,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like a burden,speaker,1,"Feeling like a burden and wanting to end things. My parents are trying to save a single penny so I can continue my degree while my mother repeatedly tells me every day while I am stressing out and wanting to kill myself already while I get ready for finals. Then she yells at me for looking depressed and sad while I ache also physically. If I hate this so much, why even go to uni? Why do anything? If they are gonna be emotionally abusing me and manipulating me and gas lighting me on the side and control me while I try to live and not kill myself every day while they don’t understand? Why try? I have friends but they are not real. They all don’t wanna talk. All the relationships I tried to make happen, they didn’t care enough and they made stupid excuses to just not be with me. I feel like a useless piece of shit",-0.9324,negative,sad
787,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like a burden,listener_1,2,I don’t have an answer for what to do. But I can tell you that you’re NOT a burden and NOT a useless piece of shit. They chose to pay for your college - that’s their choice. They have made what I see as a bad choice to remind you of it constantly and make you feel bad about it. But that is neither your fault or because you’re not worthy. You’re doing amazingly well to be getting through college. It’s a tough slog. Remember that you are worthy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.,-0.7119,negative,proud
787,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like a burden,speaker,3,Thanks. That means a lot someone replied,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
788,MentalHealthSupport,Medicine depression,speaker,1,My medicine is not working but I sleep good.. what should I do? I waiting for therapy.. and next month I have e evolution about my medicine..,0.5927,positive,apprehensive
788,MentalHealthSupport,Medicine depression,listener_1,2,"See if you can bump up your med appointment, if they don’t have space you can ask to be contacted in case anyone cancels before your appointment. Otherwise try to explore some coping strategies and hang in till the appointment comes and then talk about maybe upping your dose or weaning on to something new.",-0.2263,negative,suggesting
788,MentalHealthSupport,Medicine depression,speaker,3,My medicine is pretty extreme haha its weird..,0.6736,positive,acknowledging
789,MentalHealthSupport,Ending stigma/joker movie/warning trauma triggers,speaker,1,"How do we end the stigma when of our mental illness or disorders when movies like the Joker come to light. Its even nerve wrecking when all I want to do is get on in my life and not worry that I am something for the public to be afraid of me when I am not feeling myself. I suffered with trauma and psychosis episodes, anxiety, and depressive moods and I am a maladaptive daydreamer  and I can see all that in that movie. All I wanted is for someone to end his suffering and get him the help he needed I know it sounds stupid as its a villain move but its shines focus on a bad outlook on someone who went though hell and that is what I have been through for as long as I can remember.  I am told by my counselor  that I have been through trauma since I was little and in 4 different ways as I was sick, saw abuse in my school. I.e. principle pushing and shouting at kids and even my older brother, I was bullied from 5 to 19 and then I was emotion and sexually abused in my own relationship. I can't sleep the past 3 days and I am losing the interest to keep going because of the stigma that there is still going on in the world and this movie doesn't help.  I try to be happy and let people into my life but my life right now is focused too much on what I went through so staying strong is like an act for me at the moment only when people are around me do if feel the need to be happy and I have 4 different supports going on and yet a wobble and I am back on the bricks.   Sorry if this is too emotional for some just feel lost and losing interest in my life and I have planned so much this year to keep me looking up and yet I am scared when I am on my own of my taughts.",-0.9779,negative,apprehensive
789,MentalHealthSupport,Ending stigma/joker movie/warning trauma triggers,listener_1,2,"The Joker movie isn’t made to show that people with mental health disorders are scary or crazy, but more like mental health isn’t properly covered for the poor. So when people who can’t afford their medicine or therapy have to go without it can end up doing a lot of harm. Yes he is a villain, but it’s suppose to open people’s eyes and show them that this is something that really happens, what can we do to fix it?   As for your emotions, sharing them is a great first step and people are hear to listen. Like me, haiii! Being with our own thoughts can suck, but trying to rewrite something negative into a positive can help, if that doesn’t work watch something that doesn’t require thinking. I’m 30 years old and watch my little pony at night to keep my brain from overthinking. If you need someone to talk to you I’m a message away! I’m a pretty good listener and never judge <3",0.9148,positive,terrified
789,MentalHealthSupport,Ending stigma/joker movie/warning trauma triggers,speaker,3,Thanks for this I am 30 too and my illness has been out in the open the last while as I am getting help for it so its hard when I want to unwind and end up watch this after my trauma sessions with my counselor. Silly thing to do and you are right to do something like that mine is my maladaptive daydreaming to get me away from all the bad in my life but trying to stop that so it leaves me to focus on my emotions which I run away from by daydreaming.   Really like the way you put this and I count myself lucky but can feel myself getting low again will defo message you for now I am in a bad place with my trauma and don't need to bring people down with me but to open up about it generally. My little pony I love that mine will be Disney movies. Ha! :),0.5569,positive,agreeing
790,MentalHealthSupport,My life is spiraling.,speaker,1,"My current mindset:  I’m 5’2” and weigh 210 pounds. I feel disgusting everyday. I feel extremely fat and have no energy everyday. My mind races with anxiety everyday of my life. I have chronic re-occurring depression disorder, anxiety, PTSD, and I’m mildly OCD.  My currently situation:  I recently left my job as a General Manager at a gas station due to my stress, anxiety, and state of mind. My boyfriend wanted me to quit because I was not given my bonus for last month even though I beat my sales budget by 2.5k, under budget on labor, and my loss was below budget by quit a bit. I’m way too nice because I let this stuff happen to me and I don’t stand up for myself.  My background:  I was born in January of 1999. I had heart surgery at 6 weeks old. From as far back as I remember I was raped by a friend of the family. This happened for years until 5th grade. I came out in 6th grade about it, my mother was too busy working to help me through it and my dad was on drugs. My brothers made fun of me being raped (I had 3 older brothers growing up) and I tried taking my life several times and ended up in the mental hospital for 2 months. I was always a good kid. I knew what the mental hospital was looking for. Stable reactions, Obedience, and politeness. I didn’t ever receive any mental help in the hospital. It was a prison. When I was let out, I was dead inside. I had dreams of being held down in bed by something very often. I would try to fight it but I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough. I lives in an endless spiral downwards, I tried to kill myself again in 7th and 8th grade, then again in 9th. I always patched myself up. My father got worse and worse. My mother was put on disability because she physically was broken down. My dad would steal her disability and buy drugs. There was many times we didn’t have power, food, water (not even hot.) My dad would always threaten to hit me if I fought back against his problem, sometimes he would slap me. He did meth and abused my moms medication. I was bullied on at school. Despite all this I kept my grades up. I graduated a year early and had a full ride to college. I didn’t used it till I turned 18. I knew I had to get out of the house if I was going to succeed in college, because if I stayed, it would be impossible. I got an apartment with friends. I got a job working for Walmart E-commerce. I was working 40 hours a week plus over full time college. I was only getting 3 hours of sleep a night, till eventually my heart couldn’t take it. I remember passing out, being rushed to the hospital, and being told that my heart  had an irregular beat pattern from sleep deprivation and exhaustion (I’m not sure, I was a computer science major, not a doctor). I was told that I should either quit working, or quit college. So I had to quit college. I didn’t have parents that would be able to support me while I went to college, they mentally aren’t really people anymore. I did end up working at a movie theater, and was trained into Management, and for a year and a half, I was a General Manager at a cinema, and after that, a gas station. My anxiety has greatly increased due to the treatment I got from customers. I’ve had people threaten me, physically assault me, and treat me like I was a terrible person if they didn’t get their way. Asking for someone’s ID almost makes me cry from my Anxiety.   Currently: I’m writing this because I’ve never told my story, and right now I feel gross, I feel dead inside, the only experience I have is in retail management and I mentally can’t do it anymore. My anxiety and depression has crippled me in life. It cripples next everyday. My boyfriend loves me, and he sees what I go through mentally everyday.   But I can’t do this anymore.   I have no skills I have no job I have no friends  I have no family I have no passion I have no will to live   The only thing that is keeping me sane and alive right now is my love for my boyfriend.  Any answers or acknowledgment would be so great right now. I have never told someone my story. In the public I hold myself strong, but when I’m not in Publics eye, I’m a wreck.",-0.9942,negative,ashamed
790,MentalHealthSupport,My life is spiraling.,listener_1,2,"Wow, I'm so sorry for all you've been through. That's so much for anyone to go through, but you know you have to give yourself some credit for being such a strong person. You might not feel strong, but you've bounced back everytime you've been knocked down, even though you tried to take your life, you didn't, started again and got yourself back together, you keep on fighting! Something inside you doesn't want you to give up! Taking that step to move out and put yourself through college while working full time, takes such willpower and strength. You're very inspiring for how you never let things beat you and you kept your goals in view, kept good grades while going through all that shit.   Having a degree, or a career or any ""skills"", isn't important for you right now. The best thing for you to do is to find a comfy easy job, pay the bills, and spend some time on yourself, try find a new hobby, or go spend some time in nature, read some books. Your best skill is your persistence, and willpower and your fight!   It's good you have a loving boyfriend by your side. Take some time out with him, figure out a plan together. Find a type of exercise you enjoy and that will help you mentally too.   You can do this!! You're so strong and brave for sharing your story. You're not alone. Please don't give up!! You are loved, and have love to give! Keep fighting and sharing your story and you never know what the future will bring.   Sending you loads of positivity and love ❤",0.9982,positive,sympathizing
790,MentalHealthSupport,My life is spiraling.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much.   This means so much to me. Honestly.  My dad is a piece of shit, but I will always remember one thing he told me in his rare conscious state.   “I don’t know how you do it. You’ve been through so much stuff, I wouldn’t have survived what you’ve been through. You’re strong.”  Thank you again. I’m going to screenshot your words to look at everyday until I’m on my feet again.",0.8462,positive,grateful
791,MentalHealthSupport,My mom didn't believe me...,speaker,1,"I was talking to my mom a couple days ago. I told her how I've been feeling lonely and broken and just I don't know I don't have motivation anymore to do anything. How I hated myself. How I've just been feeling miserable. And truth be told, I've been feeling like this ever since I was 4 years old. I've been wanting to die almost every day since I was 4 years old. How I tried to commit suicide several times. How I self-harm(ed). But all she said to me was ""I think you're remembering things wrong"". But I shouldn't be surprised. When I was younger, I would go to them and tell them I had suicidal thoughts and/or how I hurt myself.  and all they would say to me is ""get over it"" or ""you're just being dramatic"". That's why I don't tell them these things anymore. But then they complain I'm never open with them anymore. It just broke my heart. Also, it really showed me all you need to do is smile and laugh from time to time and everybody just thinks you're happy. And I honestly think that's bull, it's not true. At all. Sorry about this. I really needed to vent. I feel like nobody listens anymore, I just feel alone.",-0.8783,negative,sad
791,MentalHealthSupport,My mom didn't believe me...,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. If you need to talk, message me",0.4939,positive,questioning
791,MentalHealthSupport,My mom didn't believe me...,listener_2,3,My DMs are open too!,0.0,neutral,agreeing
791,MentalHealthSupport,My mom didn't believe me...,speaker,4,"Also it's not like I can go to a professional. I'm only 16 and I have a disability and so I can't really get around that easy. If I try to tell my parents that I wanted to go to a professional for something they be like ""why"" and then I would explain why and then they would just be like ""no that's not true"" or something. My sister tried to tell me that I was depressed and I didn't believe her and so I told my parents about it and they were just like ""no you're not depressed"" so then they would see no reason for me to go to someone",0.4871,positive,embarrassed
791,MentalHealthSupport,My mom didn't believe me...,speaker,5,I tried talkin to like social workers before and all they did was make me feel worse about myself. My friends are not the greatest friends. The last time I told a relative about how I was feeling she just used it as an opportunity to make me feel invalid.,-0.0315,neutral,angry
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,speaker,1,"So, I've been though a lot of messed up stuff with male figures in my life. I'm not going to bore you with the 28 years of problems.   Here's my issue... I'm engaged to amazing man. This is the first genuinely, healthy male relationship I've ever been in. However, I think I became a better person by laching onto him as a support system. If he dies one day, I'm worried I would never overcome it. Before him it was consistent suicide attempts, reckless behavior, social isolation, self harm, and abusing drugs/alcohol. With him, I'm supringely healthy.   How do I learn how to support myself in case God forbid anything happens where he's not in my life anymore??",-0.5139,negative,trusting
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,listener_1,2,"The only way to learn is through practice, instill what values he instills on you onto your self, teach your self and learn from the healthy things he embodies, eventually you your self will be able to embody these healthy habits and as a result will be more self reliant. In my opinion you need to learn to treat your self correctly, like it seems he is treating you. I'm happy you are in a state of your life where you are happy",0.966,positive,grateful
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,speaker,3,Thank you. It sounds so easy when I read it... I'll work hard on this.,0.7042,positive,wishing
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,speaker,4,I do have a good group of friends who would have my back if something happened....,0.7184,positive,trusting
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,listener_2,5,"Ok. In the event that something happens, you need to trust that they will be able to help you through it",0.7184,positive,trusting
792,MentalHealthSupport,Oops,speaker,6,I broke bread with my demons,-0.4215,negative,guilty
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,1,Hey I'm giving some free headspace accounts for people with mental health problems just add me on discord  no bullshit :)  NITROPLUG#3155,0.2244,positive,acknowledging
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,listener_1,2,Sent a friend request!,0.5411,positive,surprised
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,3,got it!,0.0,neutral,confident
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,4,got it :),0.4588,positive,acknowledging
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,5,Gotty,0.0,neutral,disgusted
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,6,Got it,0.0,neutral,confident
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,7,got it,0.0,neutral,confident
793,MentalHealthSupport,It's for those with mentalhealth problems,speaker,8,Got  it :),0.4588,positive,joyful
794,MentalHealthSupport,Depression getting worse and worse,speaker,1,Been depressed for about 3 4 years cut about 4 times in the past sometimes I’m all good but recently been feeling like shit just finished college and wanting to start uni in September and working to find a part time job too but always feeling like shit n having suicidal thoughts isn’t helping at all don’t know how to hack it anymore especially when there’s no one around u that will understand,-0.9041,negative,lonely
794,MentalHealthSupport,Depression getting worse and worse,listener_1,2,Are you ok anti depressants at the moment? And are you talking to a therapist?,-0.4696,negative,questioning
794,MentalHealthSupport,Depression getting worse and worse,speaker,3,None of those not doing anything about it and never seen a doctor or therapist about it I wouldn’t want therapists involved,0.0772,positive,apprehensive
794,MentalHealthSupport,Depression getting worse and worse,listener_1,4,"You need to see a doctor, and seriously think about a therapist. It is a therapists job to help you with this stuff, and it can help you a kot",0.5719,positive,apprehensive
794,MentalHealthSupport,Depression getting worse and worse,speaker,5,👌🏻,0.7297,positive,angry
795,MentalHealthSupport,I can't get this thing out o my head,speaker,1,"Hi I'm 21 year old man and since like one and half there is one thought I cannot get out of my mind.... like the thing is one of my friend used to joke using slang gay detected and one day while joking he used it on me and I knew he was joking but it started come up in my brain again and again ... and I started to feel like what if he really thinks I'm and what if gay... I knew that I wasn't gay and never had those kind of feelings.. but it kept on looping in my brain and I started to have it 24/7 except when I'm asleep .... it kept going for like 3 months I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to talk with my sisters and some of my friend ..It helped little bit and It started improving ..but still I couldn't get it out of my mind It comes occasionally mainly while I'm studying ... due to if my everything got ruined my study, my health , my habits and my motivation... how do I get out of it can anyone please help.",0.9777,positive,apprehensive
795,MentalHealthSupport,I can't get this thing out o my head,listener_1,2,"Sounds like intrusive thoughts, I used to get them a lot when I was not so well along with some obsessive behaviour stuff, think it's a well known symptom that does happen quite often. I used to get them about being pregnant when there was literally no possible way I could be pregnant, but I'd spend all day every day worrying I was pregnant. Was horrible, I really feel your pain, I know how distressing it is to feel like you can't control your own thoughts or be logical about them. It improved eventually by using some CBT techniques, acknowledging the thoughts, acknowledging that they are not representative of reality, putting them aside. Doing this every time they came into my head very gradually made them less stressful each time, and eventually less powerful, and then eventually less often. I don't know if this helps at all, sorry you're going through this man xx",-0.8146,negative,anxious
795,MentalHealthSupport,I can't get this thing out o my head,speaker,3,Thank you it means a lot...,0.3612,positive,sympathizing
795,MentalHealthSupport,I can't get this thing out o my head,listener_1,4,"No worries, if you ever need to chat or vent or even just voice the thoughts to a 'sounding board', feel free to message me,",0.684,positive,suggesting
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,speaker,1,"This little sub is growing and I'm amazed at how few reports I get for trolling and bullying and bad behavior.    Good job everyone, keep up the amazing work and suggestions are always welcome.",0.7128,positive,impressed
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,listener_1,2,"You're very welcome.  Mental health is a subject close to my heart both as a sufferer and a supporter. I feel it's really important to have a safe space for people to reach out instead of hurting themselves, and have no problem doing my bit to keep it that way.  Even if it means shutting down bullies or counter-trolling to distract the trolls from vulnerable people (done that a few times now, it gives a bit of space for the vulnerable person to regroup via the supportive folk).",0.8148,positive,caring
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,speaker,3,As a joke? Kind of curious what the joke was. Can you tell?,0.7236,positive,questioning
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,listener_2,4,You know how you link r/iamsmart to dumb people.   They linked this sub for someone behaving in a very strange way.,-0.659,negative,annoyed
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,speaker,5,"Unfortunately we are still a rather low traffic sub, so it does happen that posts don't always get responses right away.  Have you ever called a crisis line or used a crisis chat?  Perhaps something like that would be of better use to you.",-0.8074,negative,suggesting
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,listener_3,6,"That's fair enough, I do get it, I just literally have nowhere to go, the last time I called a crisis line the person I talked to said that I needed to quit my job...because of course quitting my job will fix lifelong diagnosed depression and anxiety.  It came to light last year that I have quite a few autistic traits, so In june i started the diagnosis process but that it taking forever and I'm no further up the waiting list for my next appointment than I was 4 months ago, and intact they told me in December it would be about 12 months for a diagnosis, a few weeks ago on the phone they told me it'll be 12 months before I get my second appointment ( I was told there would be a few assessment appointments ) because of this I feel like my life is completely on hold. I tried reaching out to an autistism group but without a diagnosis they didn't respond, my GP won't refer me to a therapist because she is convinced I'm autistic and for that reason I need a specialist ( I've tried therapy, CBT, medication, nothing helped ). I've even tried to reach out to autism pages for advice but no one responds, I've literally self harmed more since this lockdown started than I had in the previous 12 months because I feel so trapped and alone in what I'm dealing with, just feel like my GP was the only one who listened but I can't even see her now. Sorry to go on, just feel like my frustration makes more sense with more of a back story.",-0.901,negative,anxious
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,listener_4,7,"That autism diagnosis stuff shouldn’t take that long. My little brother has severe autism so my mum got herself diagnosed (was originally diagnosed with adhd). She got her results back within a few weeks. I’ll add that I’m sorry that you’re feeling how you are. This lockdown has fucked me up too. I have no one to turn to. I don’t have a personal relationship with my parents so I can’t turn to them and it seems like all my old friends are just going. I don’t see any of my old friends anymore so I have no one to talk to. I refuse to talk to councillors cause of shitty past experiences. All I can say (and I can’t really follow my own advice, but please do) is just keep holding on. Things will get better after coronavirus. This is a shit time for everyone. No matter what situation we’re in, after coronavirus we’ll all be happier. So try to hold out mate.",0.4096,positive,lonely
796,MentalHealthSupport,I just want to say that you guys are turning this into a phenomenal sub.,listener_3,8,"Really appreciate your response and so sorry to read how shitty your feeling too.  With regards to the autism, I'm not sure where your from but in the UK ( where I live ) they handle it differently to many countries from what I'm told, it's a case of multiple assessments spread months apart because the waiting lists are so long.  I know we always have to tell ourselves things will get better, for me personally they just don't, i know that's a really negative thing to say, maybe I'm just really unlucky but only very tiny things ever go right for me ( rarely ) the stuff that really matters just goes wrong.  I will keep going, as much as i want this emotional pain to just end, it's not worth the way out that a lot of people ( myself included ) often think about. I have self harmed a few times since the lockdown began and I'm having to restrict contact with most of my housemates as all bar one of them really trigger me.  Trying my best to distract myself with things like animal crossing and youtube but it's not easy to stay strong every day.  I hope your staying safe, I'm here if you really need someone to talk to x",-0.3045,negative,sympathizing
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,speaker,1,"After a very rough few days a couple weeks back where I [27 F] was considering suicide. My (whom I feel is my only) friend managed to come to my house and be my shoulder to cry on and my rock and pull me back from the edge. I'm already on medications, and after a doctors visit they were increased. I'm considering therapy again to keep myself from going over the edge, but any time I see a therapist, I never know what to say to them or how to say how I'm feeling and usually just end up acting like nothing is wrong with me like I usually do around all my coworkers and family. I can never seem to find the words to explain the extent of how I feel or just how deep of a hole I really am in. Does any one have any tips? This is my first time trying to reach out, so patience is appreciated.",0.9374,positive,trusting
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,listener_1,2,"I suggest returning to therapy. Don't worry about what you'll say, just tell them you know you're masking but you don't know how to let it down or articulate the issue so they can start there. If they're any good, they'll start with helping you to recognise and name your feelings and thoughts.",0.8102,positive,suggesting
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,speaker,3,I constantly worry about what to say and it's a big wall in me making that phone call. I've been dealing with all my issues alone for 10+ years and I'm honestly terrified of trying again if that makes any sense at all..,-0.7096,negative,apprehensive
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,listener_1,4,"It makes absolute sense and it's perfectly normal when you've been going it alone for a long time,but I'm very concerned about the risk of you declining again and that's why I think it's worth trying.  Just be honest with them about your difficulty in being open and honest, it's more common than you'd think. It gets easier as the trust with your therapist builds and they come to know how to read you.",0.9231,positive,agreeing
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,speaker,5,I have okay days and then I have really bad days. But I feel a little more in contact with reality since my medication change. I want to try to convince myself to make the call before I get too scared and go downhill again,-0.4304,negative,hopeful
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,speaker,6,The notebook thing sounds pretty good. I always freeze when I try to explain how I feel and can never find the right words for it. Thank you!,0.8439,positive,acknowledging
797,MentalHealthSupport,Trying to get help,listener_1,7,"That would definitely be smart, because making the call is going to be almost impossible if you start to decline",0.6597,positive,agreeing
798,MentalHealthSupport,Why is it so hard to deal with depression,speaker,1,"I'm a 20 year old college student and I had a really rough time growing up. But I always find myself in a weird situation where I'm always very vocal about mental health and everyone being open and talking to each other about it. Showing efforts to remove the stigma around it. But I am also very paranoid so I don't really feel comfortable enough to open up and share my feelings with anyone, because I constantly think, ""Can I really trust them?"".   I know that's not the only thing there's still plenty of stigma around guys talking about their emotions and I grew up listening to how I'm ""supposed to act"" and that prevents me from taking about it too. Luckily music has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with it because I feel like I'm talking to the artist(s) about it and they're relating to me. But this time of year it always gets worse and I constantly find myself getting too deep in thought and on the verge of breaking into tears. This happens almost everyday this time of year.   I don't know if this is what this sub is meant for I just came here hoping to share and ask for any help in anyway because I'm literally talking to a bunch of people bi don't know and they don't know me so I don't feel the fear of judgement here.",0.9474,positive,apprehensive
798,MentalHealthSupport,Why is it so hard to deal with depression,listener_1,2,"First of all, good on you OP for trying to openly talk about this and especially for trying to eliminate the stigma around this topic.  Trusting people with this kind of information is hard.  I’m also in college and last year I really wanted to start working on my mental health because I knew something was wrong.  I was very vocal about me seeking help with my friends and family because I was genuinely proud of what I was doing for myself.  A lot of said friends and family treated me poorly after finding out and I learned who really cared about me.  It wasn’t easy, but I found out who I could trust in the end.    If you’re feeling unsure about trusting people I would hold off until you’re as sure as you can possibly feel.",0.9625,positive,trusting
798,MentalHealthSupport,Why is it so hard to deal with depression,speaker,3,"Thank You, I'll definitely wait until I'm as confident as I can be to tell someone about it. Thank you for taking the time to reply I truely appreciate it",0.9118,positive,agreeing
799,MentalHealthSupport,"When i try to calm down myself from anger/stress, it only goes worse.",speaker,1,"I can't do anything to solve my problems. I've probably used this sub more than 300 times. And it's all the same: I lost a game and now I'm suicidal. I've tried deep breaths, rubbing my hands, tensing every muscle in my body while taking a deep breath and holding it, it all doesn't work. I always experience anger going to suicidal thoughts. Sometimes i think that my assignment is to be the worst human being ever known to this planet. The one that not only eats up own mental health, but the mental health of others. Im an egoistic, hardly aggressive, human being. A perfect imperfection of humankind. None can change my thoughts unless someone makes a brain drug that changes the entire character. Im a dipshit and I'm a dissapointment. Spelling error? I can't spell anyway. Sometimes I just want to not see or hear the stuff happening, but come back like it all was sleep.",-0.8863,negative,sad
799,MentalHealthSupport,"When i try to calm down myself from anger/stress, it only goes worse.",speaker,2,"Now i just joined some chat and someone posted a fucking clown emoji cause they do it frequently, and SOMEHOW THAT GOT ME PISSED EVEN MORE. god im terrible",-0.7802,negative,furious
799,MentalHealthSupport,"When i try to calm down myself from anger/stress, it only goes worse.",speaker,3,haha this sub is ALWAYS INACTIVE WHEN I NEED IT. HAHAHA.,0.8091,positive,acknowledging
800,MentalHealthSupport,Sitting through suicidal thoughts,speaker,1,"So I’m not sure if I’m having some sort of strange episode but this happens often where I don’t know what to do and I just feel extremely irritable and intense. I don’t even have a name for the feelings just that it’s intense and most of the thoughts I have are of suicide, it often feels like those thoughts aren’t going to stop until I give into them because they cause me so much physical pain from not knowing how to get rid of them. I’m finding it very difficult to sit through this since there’s nothing I can do about it. I recently like two weeks ago started a medication for the first time called Lexapro and messaged my doctor about it but in the mean time I don’t know what to do with myself.",-0.9555,negative,sad
800,MentalHealthSupport,Sitting through suicidal thoughts,listener_1,2,Have you tried destroying something?,-0.5574,negative,questioning
800,MentalHealthSupport,Sitting through suicidal thoughts,speaker,3,It’s not like that it’s like passive intensity it disables me but it’s hard to sit through :(,-0.5934,negative,neutral
801,MentalHealthSupport,Do Ya’ll Feel This?,speaker,1,"Do ya’ll ever just kind of feel numb? Like you could totally be doing things and smiling and talking but nothing really feels right and everything is out of place? Like even just trying to move feels wrong? Just like the only thing that you can do is breathe and stare at one thing for long periods of time while just, not thinking? I feel like that right now and its so phased. I just don’t belong? This has been occurring frequently lately. Ill just stare off and loose focus. Everything just becomes wrong and a blur. I went to walk upstairs to get water and just, stared at the stairs.",-0.7278,negative,lonely
801,MentalHealthSupport,Do Ya’ll Feel This?,listener_1,2,All the time. It sucks and I'm sorry you feel this way.,-0.4215,negative,sympathizing
801,MentalHealthSupport,Do Ya’ll Feel This?,listener_2,3," Hi sorry, I'm Dad!",-0.1511,negative,sympathizing
802,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired of my life,speaker,1,"There's so many things wrong with me I don't know where to begin. I'm sixteen, female. I've had low self esteem for as long as I can remember. I've always been quiet, keeping to myself. It's never been this bad, though. I used to be a good student, caring a lot about my grades, but I simply don't care anymore. I don't have the energy. I feel unworthy of all human interaction, always the most awkward, always the one to mess up. Sometimes I have days where everything seems all right, but then the next day is worse than anything before it. I feel lethargic and slow, especially around others and in class. I retreat within myself to the point where I can't talk in class or contribute to discussions; it is impossible for me. I'm worried that I'm giving the impression that I don't have the intelligence to follow along or comment, and it's starting to actually feel that way, but I don't have the will/energy to engage with anything other than the fictional world in my head. I'm sick of myself. I feel guilty all the time, and have no idea why. It's like I'm always doing something I should be ashamed of. I spend my free time listening to the same songs over and over, sitting on my bed. I don't have the energy for a hobby and part of me feels like I don't deserve one. This has been going on for two months now. I would never kill myself, but I've found myself frequently thinking of death. I would rather be dead than alive, but I would never want to hurt my family or friends. I don't know where this is coming from or why I feel this way. I have to get it out somehow. I feel like I'm lying to myself because I don't know who I am and I pretend to be confident around my friends when really, I feel horrible and don't know how to fix it. I wish I knew enough about what's going on to structure this better, so sorry about the chaos.",-0.9648,negative,ashamed
802,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired of my life,listener_1,2,"Don't ever apologise for how you feel, or for writing about what you're going through, that's exactly what this page is here for! I have been through this before, once being on top of studying or a job, then something happened in my life which made everything feel like it derailed. But that's changed now, I'm getting better each day, and one of the things that helps is knowing that my feelings don't define who I am or what I can do. Try repeating to yourself ""I am experiencing depression, and that doesn't define me"" and see how that makes you feel? This might feel like you'll be this way forever (I know it's easy for me to say) but it really won't be forever, this is only a temporary and small moment of your life,  this moment can change! You'll be ok!",0.8759999999999999,positive,sympathizing
802,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired of my life,speaker,3,Thank you :)  It's very difficult in the moment to remember that but I'll try to use that mind frame in the future,0.2152,positive,wishing
802,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired of my life,speaker,4,"Thanks, I've been trying to fix it for a while on my own but it hasn't been helping. I'll try :)",0.56,positive,wishing
802,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired of my life,listener_1,5,"Same with me, the most difficult times to remember are in those worst moments when I need it the most, but even if you try that's good enough!",0.1768,positive,neutral
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,speaker,1,"I play Xbox online with my husband and find I receive a lot of abuse just for being woman. Just today one player on the opposing team sent me a message saying ""ugly"" and ""fat woman pig"". I'm not saying all male gamers do this because my team are all male and wouldn't dream of it.   I know it's nothing to the people making the comments but I take ot personally.  Does this happen with anyone else?",-0.5299,negative,annoyed
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,listener_1,2,"I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:  - [/r/xboxone] [Mental Health and Gaming.](https://www.reddit.com/r/xboxone/comments/do15zk/mental_health_and_gaming/)   *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))*",0.6597,positive,annoyed
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,speaker,3,That's awful. Really sorry that happened to you,-0.5563,negative,sympathizing
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,listener_2,4,"Not really bothered but thanks anyway, sorry you got called fat",0.6581,positive,sympathizing
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,speaker,5,Absolutely I just wish people understood the affect words can have have on a person's mental well being.,0.6204,positive,annoyed
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,speaker,6,"It's disgusting. You shouldn't have had to go through that.   I mainly play Rainbow Six Siege and get the usual ""get back to the kitchen"" ""make me a sandwich"" that I can usually laugh off but sometimes it goes way too far, I've been threatened with rape, they've threatened my mum with rape. Tbh there's a list of things and it's not right at all.",-0.9729,negative,disgusted
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,listener_3,7,"You know, I forgot to ask what game you were playing, but I assumed one of them was Rainbow Six Siege.   That game is well known for its toxic environment and most people stay away from it because of that reason. You have two options: quit that game and find something comparable to the team experience like Destiny 2 or The Division 2, or never engage with anyone while playing Rainbow Six.",0.7137,positive,questioning
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,speaker,8,I absolutely agree with you.,0.4201,positive,agreeing
803,MentalHealthSupport,Gaming & Mental Health,listener_4,9,This.,0.0,neutral,surprised
804,MentalHealthSupport,How long until your Medication kicked in?,speaker,1,"I’ve been on antidepressants now for the last two years and I have yet to notice a difference. I’m now on venlafaxine. When I asked how do I know if it’s working, my doctor just doubled my dose. I honestly couldn’t handle the adjustment period this time (I tried it for 2-3 weeks and I felt worse) and went back down to 75mg. I’ve been on this medication since I believe June and I haven’t noticed any difference. I’m just tired of feeling low all the time and just not motivated to do anything.",-0.7253,negative,apprehensive
804,MentalHealthSupport,How long until your Medication kicked in?,listener_1,2,Pharmacist here. Usually it's 4-6 weeks.,0.0,neutral,anxious
804,MentalHealthSupport,How long until your Medication kicked in?,speaker,3,Thank you 💜💜💜,0.9442,positive,wishing
804,MentalHealthSupport,How long until your Medication kicked in?,speaker,4,"That’s how I feel, just “meh”. Less breakdowns but that’s it. That’s pretty much the only difference and the only reason I’ve continued this one.",0.6486,positive,lonely
804,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,listener_2,1,"I have felt very disconnected, numb, depressed, and unable to focus lately. I've struggled with mental health problems, since I was 13; now 28. I've been put in a mental health institution three or four times during that time frame, and I do not ever want to go back.   What the fuck is wrong with me now??",-0.9554,negative,sad
804,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,listener_3,2,"Go to a psychologist, no one on this subreddit is a professional and we cannot give professional advice or give you a diagnosis.",-0.29600000000000004,negative,agreeing
804,MentalHealthSupport,Idk,listener_2,3,"Obviously, so hand over $120 and an open appt at a reliable doctor - THAAAANKS. Idk if this thread will allow cursing, but think of it and I'm saying it..",0.3604,positive,trusting
805,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like everyone on this sub avoids me cause I'm probably an attention seeker to others,speaker,1,"My recent post only got one person to see, and 90% of all the comments was me feeling fucking shit. ""Seen a lot of support from this sub"", yeah totally. I'm not blamig anyone and I know I sound retarded, I can't come up with the right words for my argument, but you get my point. Everytime my social life is fucked almost none cares now. Can't get a therapist no matter how hard I try. I've become desperate for a therapist, but it's autumn break, so I can't catch up with my school therapist.",-0.9469,negative,embarrassed
805,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like everyone on this sub avoids me cause I'm probably an attention seeker to others,listener_1,2,"Try online therapists.   I know it sounds scary, but it can really help, especially in an emergency. Google about some online mental health professionals and that may help you.",0.3907,positive,apprehensive
806,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dealing with severe depression for about 5 years now,speaker,1,"ever since me and my wife separated it’s been a rather traumatic experience for me having to leave my kids behind , I’ve been going to several support groups for many different reasons and taking psych meds for my depression and anxiety and they seem to be slowly helping but I still find myself feeling stuck or slowly descending back into that pit of despair , I do my best to keep from falling but I still do Fromm time to time when my thoughts start to become chaotic and crazy usually when I’m alone which is most of the time, to help me cope with these feelings I go for a walk or try to find something to do to keep my mind occupied and busy but it doesn’t always work but I’m still depressed and become anxious at times and I can feel alone even in a crowd of people which triggers my anxiety very high , I can’t stand large groups of people especially in confined spaces it freaks me out.   But oddly I also get anxious when I’m alone so I’m anxious almost all the time except when around just a few people at a time then I feel pretty comfortable.",-0.9443,negative,sad
806,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dealing with severe depression for about 5 years now,listener_1,2,Hey friend. Have you been talking with friends and family about this?,0.743,positive,questioning
806,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dealing with severe depression for about 5 years now,speaker,3,Yes my friends know my family not so much,0.7003,positive,lonely
806,MentalHealthSupport,I’ve been dealing with severe depression for about 5 years now,listener_1,4,"Ok. Make sure that at least some do. Talk with them about it, and try to make a large support network. It helped me out a lot",0.6124,positive,neutral
807,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes my depression manifests into anger ...,speaker,1,"and I lose my ability to edit what i say.  Today my boss was basically not telling the truth to someone and I opened my big mouth and said what really happened.  It’s like I’m two people  One that knows better  And the other one, that has no filter   Feeling like this is worse than the depression.  I know he is pissed and the woman who He was bullshitting said SHE THREW YOU UNDER THE BUS   I know when I’m like this I should not leave my house   Fuck!",-0.8724,negative,ashamed
807,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes my depression manifests into anger ...,listener_1,2,"I totally get this. I blew up at work last week. When I’m anxious or depressed it’s like I have no self control and I’m just angry. I wish I had an answer.   I don’t know if it will help you, but I just tell myself that yeah I might have screwed up, but tomorrow i can try again. New game.",-0.5346,negative,jealous
807,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes my depression manifests into anger ...,speaker,3,Thank you!   Today is day two of me feeling angry to the core -  I have therapy at 4pm    Maybe this will help,0.4003,positive,suggesting
807,MentalHealthSupport,Sometimes my depression manifests into anger ...,listener_1,4,Good luck. I wish you the best.,0.9153,positive,wishing
808,MentalHealthSupport,"Some good, hopefully relatable news!",speaker,1,"A while back, I posted about breaking the cycle. About changing shit up and hopefully influencing the future for the better.  Today I've come to share progress!  Official diagnoses (as I now have them because Ive been getting professional help) are CPTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Acute Anxiety. Never had names for em before. Glad I got em now. Gives me a thing to fight against.  Back at work! Not many hours, but 6 days a week at a pizza place that I genuinely love with folks I greatly enjoy seeing.  Taking meds on time and every day! Haven't missed a dose and IT CHANGES SO MUCH FOR THE BETTER!  Managing relationships and my boundaries! I've been cutting back/off the amount of time I spend with folks who I have been identifying as users and abusers. I am focused on the positive and reciprocal relationships and that does good for me.   Managing self loathing and hatred. This one is hard because self loathing and hatred are my first and second languages, it would seem. But, with some vigilance and precision, let alone the more positive developments in my financial life/personal life, I have found me being nicer to, well, me. Strange and still in need of a ton of work, but progress is progress!  Communication! Well, you're seeing a piece of it here!  All in all, life is getting better. I do have bad days, where I have to remember that the road yo recovery is often non-linear, but they are becoming less of the norm.   If I can do this, y'all, I know you can too!",0.9684,positive,proud
808,MentalHealthSupport,"Some good, hopefully relatable news!",listener_1,2,Good luck on that 3rd language. It's often hard to speak.,0.6705,positive,wishing
808,MentalHealthSupport,"Some good, hopefully relatable news!",speaker,3,"Thanks, homie",0.4404,positive,acknowledging
809,MentalHealthSupport,Work Anxiety?,speaker,1,"I’m on my fifth job right now because I constantly keep quitting. There’s days when everything could be absolutely fine, but then I can’t physically make myself go to work.   The job that I have right now is fairly easy. It pays well and my coworkers are amazing. But I called in two days because I felt like trash. I know I can’t tell my supervisors how I actually feel because they won’t understand.   I don’t know what to do anymore or how to handle this, it’s ruining my life.   Any advice?",0.9325,positive,ashamed
809,MentalHealthSupport,Work Anxiety?,listener_1,2,Can you survive on part time? Just to give yourself breathing room to sort it all out?,0.0,neutral,questioning
809,MentalHealthSupport,Work Anxiety?,listener_2,3,"Hi hoping i can get some money out of it., I'm dad.",0.4215,positive,encouraging
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,1,Now I'll get witchunted by the people that responded to my post sharing the fact I did that. I regret it and I'm tempted to fucking harm myself.,-0.5849,negative,ashamed
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,2,"And haa none cares, I'm just more tempted to hurt myself cause I feel alone and completely hated",-0.9125,negative,lonely
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,listener_1,3,"I care about you, and don’t hate you. Please don’t do this to yourself",0.2023,positive,caring
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,4,i took some deep breathes and i still feel like shit. i left the game and the reddit post but i still cant stop being paranoid,0.4389,positive,agreeing
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,5,I cant relax at all considering the fact that most of the time im having fun but when im the attacked one i suffer from every single mental disorder at once,-0.9162,negative,guilty
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,listener_2,6,Just step away. The rest comes after.,0.0,neutral,questioning
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,7,I stepped away already and i still get paranoid,-0.25,negative,agreeing
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,8,i feel so goddamn fucking childish that i only want to harm myself even more,-0.8735,negative,ashamed
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,9,wdym?,0.0,neutral,questioning
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,listener_3,10,"I just assumed this was a relationship. Were/Are you friends, dating, family etc?",0.4767,positive,questioning
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,11,no?,0.0,neutral,questioning
810,MentalHealthSupport,Haha I got fucked over for acting more toxic than the other person acting toxic that I made fun of.,speaker,12,no i dont,-0.29600000000000004,negative,agreeing
811,MentalHealthSupport,advice?? please help,speaker,1,"Hi this is my first reddit post so I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong...  I'm 14 and I'm going into residential treatment soon. My parents live separately but are still married. My dad wasn't ever good with emotionally supporting us but we were extremely dependent on him for money. While my dad lived with us he was very abusive to me and my mom. He wouldn't physically hurt me as much as my mom, but it was still not a very safe household. When he wasn't being his angry self my mom would act the same, except she liked to attack him emotionally.   Now that it's just me and my mom she's been doing that to me and it's not good. I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, bpd, auditory hallucinations, and struggle with ed. She's aware, and present in almost all my therapy sessions, but after years of therapy she isn't really making an effort to change. I could manage before, but she's been getting worse and it's making me go back to habits I broke through years of treatment.  I've told several adults that are aware of my situation, and we've made a plan to contact cps while I'm in residential so I won't be in a dangerous situation. They probably would have encouraged me earlier but my mom tends to put on a persona in public and they only started to believe me when they saw I got worse even though I make an effort to get better.   The only problem is that as it gets closer to me going, I'm getting really anxious about it. I'm terrified. What if my parents really are the only people who will love and care for me?? I've heard of all the crazy stuff that happens with cps and I feel really guilty? I just think that I would ruin two lives just to be able to survive, and it makes me feel like I'm being selfish. My dad has told me that I'm the only thing in his life keeping him from,, you know. My mom already lost a kid, and has never really had a relationship with anyone that wasn't abusive. I know they mean well, they're just not mentally capable of supporting a child. I just know they're both extremely dependent on me, and it makes me feel ashamed. I know it's not my job to parent them and make up for their lost childhoods, but I can't help but wonder what would happen to them without me. At the same time, if I keep living like this I'm only going to get worse and less rational.  I guess I'm just asking if their lives are really worth ruining for me to be ok...",-0.994,negative,sympathizing
811,MentalHealthSupport,advice?? please help,listener_1,2,"You won’t ruin there life’s, they might struggle to adapt but when you’ve started getting better you can make contact with them and it sounds like you’ve had to be the adult in the house anyway, so when you’re getting better you can have a mature and adult conversation with them.   I know it’s hard, but you have to be selfish in some situations to make sure you’re okay. It is not your responsibility to parent your adults.   This change may also be good for them as they’ll learn that they can do things themselves. Think positively about every situation. I know that’s easier said then done but if it helps right a pros and cons list, and force yourself to focus on the positives.   Also, if you’re the only thing from keeping your dad doing,, you know, maybe you can advice him to get some help as well? Or tell your counsellor and get them in contact with him.   They might see their child sorting out their life and want to do the same.   Always try and stay positive, and my DMS are always open if you ever need to chat :) Keep smiling, you are stronger than you think x",0.9954,positive,neutral
811,MentalHealthSupport,advice?? please help,speaker,3,"Thanks, it's just a little scary I guess. About the dad thing, he was going to therapy two years ago but just stopped so idk what was up with that. I'm hoping we can start talling more so I can encourage him to go again. Also hopefully cps or someone similar can give them resources to deal with their stuff.",0.8571,positive,acknowledging
811,MentalHealthSupport,advice?? please help,listener_1,4,"They will I’m sure, they’ll help you out and help your family help you",0.8555,positive,agreeing
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,1,"I haven't been doing too well for a very long time. I have periods of time (like 1-3 days) where things are ok (but could still be better) then everything goes to shit again. A lot of my friends can't really talk to me as I am stuck at home. Plus, if I try to message them, they're busy or dealing with they're own things and I don't want to bother them. Pretty much everyday of my life, I've given up. I just never had the motivation to keep going. But somehow I'm still here. And it's torture. I don't know what to do. Ik other people have lives n stuff and that the world doesn't revolve around me and all that. But I just feel so miserable, lost and alone and I wish someone could just make that go away",-0.7829999999999999,negative,lonely
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_1,2,Please hang in there and don't give up in trying to reach out to people. Here if you need to talk pm me. :),0.6597,positive,wishing
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,3,"For me, it's not about anyone wanting me. Or being alone, per say. I just wish I could talk to someone I trusted. But I can't because they're going through their own things.",0.34,positive,lonely
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_2,4,It's hard to find people to trust. It's even harder to find people who know exactly what you're going through because they never had that experience themselves.,0.4404,positive,trusting
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,5,Yeah. There's that too unfortunately,-0.0516,negative,agreeing
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,6,I had somebody professional to talk to but they weren't very good and they just made me feel worse and more angry and the end of our sessions and I always felt like I wanted this person to leave,-0.8891,negative,sad
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_3,7,"There’s a lot of bad therapists out there, and sometimes the personality just isn’t a fit. I’ve experienced quite a few myself. You can still try to find someone else that might shit you better, they aren’t all bad.",-0.7351,negative,consoling
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,8,This was a few months ago,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_3,9,Suit***,0.0,neutral,angry
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_3,10,"And when you have those days where you do feel good, I’d try to remember them so that when you have your bad days you can remember that you had good days in the past and you will likely have them again.",0.3182,positive,hopeful
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,11,Good days are very rare tho and sometimes idk if a good day will come,0.6597,positive,anticipating
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_3,12,"As long as they do happen, that’s what matters. You’ve had them in the past and there’s no evidence to suggest that you won’t have them in the future. You can also learn some coping strategies to help manage the bad days, if you search cbt based techniques you can find a lot of methods to try out and see what works for you. Some might not work and some will so it’s like shopping for an outfit, not everything fits your needs but you can definitely find things that work together for you. Recovery is always possible with mental illness, that doesn’t mean you can be cured but you can still have a good life and feel good while having it.",0.8243,positive,neutral
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,speaker,13,And they aren't exactly good. They're more like I'm fine(ish) days,0.0994,positive,surprised
812,MentalHealthSupport,I feel unbelievably lost...,listener_4,14,"Hi fine(ish) days, I'm dad.",0.0,neutral,content
813,MentalHealthSupport,For anyone dealing with depression,speaker,1,"I’m a 22 year old female and I’m feeling very down about myself . Not expecting sympathy, I just had a bad day and figured I would post here for the first time.  I’ve been having suicidal thoughts, Everyday feels like it should be my last. Then, another year goes by and I realize I’m in the same place with the same mood. Nothing changes. I know I am too young to feel this way and I have no idea how I got to this point. I feel like I have an epiphany moment everyday because when I wake up I have to remind myself that the reality is real and this is really my life. At this point, i think I’m out of touch with reality. I’m just wondering if anyone else felt this way and found some remedy to get better .",-0.6007,negative,sad
813,MentalHealthSupport,For anyone dealing with depression,listener_1,2,"Hey, do you have a therapist that you can see regularly? Sounds like that could be really beneficial for where you’re at right now.",0.6901,positive,questioning
813,MentalHealthSupport,For anyone dealing with depression,speaker,3,Hello and thanks for responding . I am in the process of looking for a psychiatrist but most of them will tell me that they’re full or won’t respond even though I have health insurance and all.,0.2382,positive,sympathizing
813,MentalHealthSupport,For anyone dealing with depression,listener_1,4,"Yeah, that’s super frustrating. I’ve also found that a psychiatrist is helpful for getting a diagnosis and medication but therapy is where the real work and growth happens. I’m currently in EMDR therapy which has been doing wonders. Keep looking and inquiring! You’ll find one eventually!",0.7896,positive,neutral
814,MentalHealthSupport,Retention of this sub?,speaker,1,"(This is not a rant, please don't take this personal)   Hey everyone,  I've been in this sub for a while now and try my best to support other members with mental issues but I'm not an active user so I actually write quite rarely. I've been thinking about the number of members this sub has and 4.3k seems way too low. I have a feeling that people often come here for advice and then leave after they're done because they don't want buzz killer posts on their home page?  Is this a thing? Is there a way to actually measure the retention of this sub, maybe the number of different users join/leave in a given period of time?      This is purely out of curiosity, I really don't want to offend anyone.",0.7751,positive,disappointed
814,MentalHealthSupport,Retention of this sub?,listener_1,2,"I think it is. I’ve personally been considering leaving this sub because of it, but to be honest the thought crosses my mind and then I forget about it.",0.4767,positive,content
814,MentalHealthSupport,Retention of this sub?,speaker,3,"Hahaha, thanks for your honesty, mate. I can't say the thought of it has never crossed my mind...",0.8658,positive,neutral
815,MentalHealthSupport,"Convinced people don’t like me, which makes me not like me...for thinking all of these things in the first place.",speaker,1,"First time poster here. Reaching out because I just had a mini breakthrough and need guidance. Two big things I realized: (A) my “I have no real friends” voice is likely caused bc I’ve done a great job convincing myself that people don’t like me for various reasons > but I know that probably not true, so hate myself for thinking these thoughts > which makes me feel miserable > and then I convince myself I wouldn’t be fun or even know how to have fun if I picked up the phone and called someone to hang out. And (B) I have this overwhelming feeling of been a #2 (as opposed to a number 1 type person) and that I’m incredibly mediocre and if I tried to be #1 I’d fail > and this all stems because I think I’m embarrassing > bc my mom is a #1 type person who always tried to inspire me to do more with myself and I just hung out in #2 because why bother trying if you’ll never be good enough (in health, beauty, fitness, style, etc).   Question: should I continue just digging deep and asking myself “why” until I get through all the layers and figure this out (FYI I have a therapist but I’m trying to put in my own effort as well), or should I just try to squash negative thoughts and do affirmations?   I’m trying to get ahead of my depression but it’s been sneaking up on me lately.   What has worked for everyone to get out of these nasty thought cycles and to reprogram their thoughts?",-0.8815,negative,ashamed
815,MentalHealthSupport,"Convinced people don’t like me, which makes me not like me...for thinking all of these things in the first place.",listener_1,2,"For me, keeping busy is the key.  Work as much as you can, if not then find a hobby or two, anything to orevent overthinking.  Pretty simple and short answer, but it works for me, and I hope it's of some help to you!",0.8687,positive,encouraging
815,MentalHealthSupport,"Convinced people don’t like me, which makes me not like me...for thinking all of these things in the first place.",speaker,3,"Thank you, I appreciate it and that works for me as well, I just feel like it doesn’t solve the root problem, it’s just more of a distraction.",0.617,positive,acknowledging
815,MentalHealthSupport,"Convinced people don’t like me, which makes me not like me...for thinking all of these things in the first place.",speaker,4,Thank you ❤️,0.3612,positive,wishing
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,1,Just because you feel better.  Stick with them and go to therapy!,0.4926,positive,faithful
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,listener_1,2,Things get bad again?,-0.5423,negative,questioning
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,3,Traveling for work  And now back to work with a person who is condescending and a straight up bully!  My therapist is helping  Thank you for  checking in,0.4003,positive,furious
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,4,True true,0.6808,positive,angry
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,5,Hope it helps.   Good luck!,0.8932,positive,wishing
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,6,"I know my pattern - have to stay on track -  brush my teeth, take my meds.  That’s it",0.0,neutral,prepared
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,listener_2,7,I just scheduled an appointment. Thank you for the reminder,0.3612,positive,grateful
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,speaker,8,Oh that’s great!! Hope you have a good session.  It’s amazing how angry I felt and how better I felt after and getting back on track,0.9311,positive,consoling
816,MentalHealthSupport,Note to self - don’t stop your meds & skip therapy!,listener_1,9,Of course! Good to hear that you’re working on it :),0.7345,positive,acknowledging
816,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,listener_3,1,"I think something's wrong, but idk who can help me. My job offers mental health assistance but talking to them is usually seen as a sign of weakness and I dont want to lose my job...",-0.0634,negative,apprehensive
816,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,listener_4,2,"What are your country's job laws? Like, if you go get mental health testing, would it be illegal to fire you due to it?  Maybe check out r/legaladvice",-0.594,negative,suggesting
816,MentalHealthSupport,Help please,listener_5,3,"I second this. If they cant fire you, then there is nothing to be ashemed of.",0.2584,positive,agreeing
817,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety ?,speaker,1,I’m 16 and I’ve being having anxiety over my anxiety if that makes sense. I’ve always been a hypochondriac and I’ve had this fear that i have depersonalization/derealization. My anxiety just started about 2 months ago and it’s been non stop constant worrying. Since about Monday I’ve been having thoughts that life is fake and nothing feels the same. Any ideas on what this might be it scares me. Everything feels like a blur,-0.9253,negative,afraid
817,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety ?,listener_1,2,"I want to advise you a book, it is very easy to read and can help in the most difficult times. Mark Manson - ""The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck""",0.6386,positive,faithful
817,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety ?,speaker,3,Nope no meds,0.2235,positive,apprehensive
817,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety ?,listener_1,4,"You can try some supplement against anxiety (ashwagandha, for example). And try to low level anxiety( meditation, you need to think about everything and understand how much you need to worry about your health. In General, try to focus less on your emotions.) P.S. read the book ;) good luck bro",0.1027,positive,wishing
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",speaker,1,"I'm just so confused because my ocd hurts my focus and stimulants help a bit, but make me also anxious .. also symptoms of autism and even bpd . It's a tangled web",-0.5713,negative,anxious
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",listener_1,2,"Hey, yeah there’s a lot of crossover within different diagnoses, and different medications will help some symptoms and increase others. Sorry you’re going through this! I feel like the best way to figure this out is to make an appointment with you psychiatrist and explain what you’re feeling. Or a therapist. It’s really difficult to sort out what’s from what when have more than just one thing going on. Sorry, that’s not super helpful.",0.7023,positive,sympathizing
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",speaker,3,"For sure, I intend on it. Definitely comorbidity .",0.6124,positive,agreeing
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",speaker,4,"Gut problems, like actual stomach issues? Never heard of that test",-0.0516,negative,apprehensive
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",listener_2,5,"These are just miscellaneous pieces of info that ive gathered. Im sure there's a better way to test it. Don't take my word for any of this. But I do know that there's a very interesting connection between the gut and the mind, that's a very big field of research right now  id say the best bet is to look into this sort of thing a bit more.",0.9244,positive,trusting
818,MentalHealthSupport,"Can you have OCD, ADHD and Autism ?",speaker,6,"Hmm, interesting. Will do",0.4019,positive,acknowledging
819,MentalHealthSupport,When you’re 15th in line for the suicide hotline,speaker,1, But you wanna die now What a gamble,-0.7469,negative,apprehensive
819,MentalHealthSupport,When you’re 15th in line for the suicide hotline,listener_1,2,Please don't :(,0.5727,positive,sympathizing
819,MentalHealthSupport,When you’re 15th in line for the suicide hotline,speaker,3,Luckily there are way more resources now and I was able to find another that was immediately accessible,0.5106,positive,grateful
820,MentalHealthSupport,[long] Help me. Where do i go from here.,speaker,1,"I'm gonna give this another go, since my last post on mental health support for you went completely unnoticed.  I am a seasonal worker, and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, for 2 and a bit months now but have been best friends for 6/7 and basically been in a relationship without putting a label on it for 3 and a quarter months.   As it is November, we are days away from the end of our contracts. Me and my girlfriend have been on cloud nine since we got together, but over the past two days, shes has shut down on me, told me to stop loving her and basically completely shut me out. This came to a head at our end of season party where we were incredibly happy, with both of us stuck to each other like glue, and i'm not going to lie, my heart skipped a beat when i saw her. Her brown eyes and gorgeous skin glowing underneath the most beautiful green dress fit for royalty. But we left the party and went back to her rooms where she basically completely shut down on me. I told her that i didnt want our relationship to be left here. That real connections are rare and we shouldn't be so quick to let them go. She told me to stop loving her. That i shouldn't have to put up with her bullshit, that its not fair on me.  To give you context, i am currently undergoing professionnal diagnosis for possible bipolar disorder. I have lived with it for as long as i can remember and she has helped me grow, become a better person, and move on from being ruled by my past's scars.  She has her own problems, but i'm not going to discuss that. Those are hers to tell and its not my place to share.  I want to keep this going, i want our relationship to never end. She knows this. Yet she tells me that she doesn't love me, that i should stop loving her, that if i won't stop loving her, then she will stop loving me.  She makes me the happiest man alive. She has become my rock, she is my soulmate, and i know that our relationship can work over long distance. (Opposite ends of the uk.)  But she seems to have already given up and resigned herself to the fact that this is ending whether i want this to or not, that this can't work.  I'm just so confused as to what she feels, because she's told me that i make her so happy, and that she loves me so very much, yet turns round and tells me to stop loving her.    I'm starting to feel like sisyphos, rolling his boulder endlessly up that hill, just for it to reappear at the bottom and have to do it all over again every time i even get slightly close to being happy and having a chance at a normal life it just gets torn from me. She's made me so happy this year, and along with my friends here. shes saved my life, and I'm not quite sure what i'm gonna do without her. Its certainly gonna be lonely as shit, but i'm used to that. My worst fear is losing her, and its all coming true I'm sorry to be chatting all this shit to you, you dont need all my bullshit.  I guess that little voice was right - all the men in my family are alone, bar my dad. They are all either divorced, or never got married in the first place. I'm just like them, meant to be alone.  If you read this - i love you so very much, and always will, but if our paths diverge here, do what is best for you. Your safety, happiness and life are paramount. You are worth everything anyone gives you and more. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself.  You are confident, strong, powerful, funny, and the woman i love.   Yours,  A leaf on the wind.",0.9988,positive,faithful
820,MentalHealthSupport,[long] Help me. Where do i go from here.,listener_1,2,"Hey, thanks for sharing your story! I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Maybe she really feels deeply that she doesn’t deserve you. Whether that’s true or not doesn’t change what she is feeling and how she’s basing her choices. Because it’s real to her. It’s really hard to get someone to see their worth if they’re choosing not to see it. I really hope the two of you work it out! And if you don’t, I hope that you know that you don’t have to be destined to be alone. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out between two people but there will be someone else if you keep looking and working towards that goal.",0.7955,positive,sympathizing
820,MentalHealthSupport,[long] Help me. Where do i go from here.,speaker,3,"Thank you friend, for even caring enough to take the time to write this.",0.836,positive,grateful
821,MentalHealthSupport,I am so lonely,speaker,1,"Sorry for the long post. I just mainly want to vent.   I am 26F and I live with my boyfriend, but beyond him, I have next to no friends. I moved to this area 2 years ago and have had little luck... I do have 1 girl I hang out with here and there but I do not consider her a “real” friend, and I have really tried to get close to her. Things with her just seem so insincere and forced, and her group of friends are much more extroverted than I and we do not share a lot of common interests.   The last good friend I had was several years ago and was a girl I met on Xbox Live. We never met and in the end, I found out she was cat fishing me; after confronting her (and forgiving her - I still wanted the friendship because I don’t think she faked that), she ghosted me. Since then I have not really made a friend like that... someone I could be messy and open with, call any time of the night, just be a couch potato/watch movies/play video games. I miss her so, so much.   I am just so lonely and I feel incredibly isolated. The closest thing I have to a friend is my therapist and that is obviously not the same thing for many reasons. Honestly considering asking to see her more often just so I can have someone to talk to. I am currently trying BumbleBFF but my god, is everyone on bumble an instagram model??  I go to the gym often, but everyone in my group classes are much older, as are my coworkers (and I am alone at work a good 70% of the time; I also live an hour from most of them). I have been looking for a book club or something similar at the library but haven’t been able to find one. When I have the money, I would like to sign up for aerial yoga classes but who knows when I’ll have the cash for that.  Staying at home all the time doesn’t bother my boyfriend and he is okay with not having many friends, but I am upset with how lonely I am.   Anyway. Thanks for letting me whine a bit.",0.9538,positive,lonely
821,MentalHealthSupport,I am so lonely,listener_1,2,"Hey, sorry you’re lonely! Have you tried looking for meetup groups? There might be book clubs or other sorts of groups on there that you’d find enjoyable. I totally feel you. I moved to a new city a little over a year ago and still feel like I have to try quite hard to make friendships happen. I have found that church is a good place to make friends but if you’re not into that then probably meetup groups or things like that would be my next choice. Or sign up for a class at a local community college? Sometimes taking a continuing education evening course is a fun place to make new friends, depending on who is in the course. And community college classes tend to be cheaper.",0.9569,positive,sympathizing
821,MentalHealthSupport,I am so lonely,speaker,3,"I should probably try meetup again, I didn’t have the best luck the first time around but that was a long time ago. Thanks for the advice!",0.8290000000000001,positive,suggesting
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,1,"I noticed that almost everyone posting here has been formally diagnosed with whatever that may be for them. I have never had a formal diagnosis but it feels like everyone is just flat out refusing to get me any sort of diagnosis. I feel like I don't matter, like how I've felt for almost 2 decades (18F) does not matter... I live in the UK and I don't know how to find out exactly what is going on with me. My mum cannot find out about it. I just want a day when I can just go and get evaluated and get them to fucking tell me what is happening without anyone knowing about it... I know I'd be better off knowing what's going on than not because right now I feel as if I am drowning in my mess... A fucking answer would really help me right now...",0.7272,positive,jealous
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_1,2,"Hey, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, that really sucks! Why is it that you don’t want you mum to find out? Are there other adults in your life that you trust that you could talk to? Not sure if these exist in the UK but if there’s walk-in clinics or if you have a family doctor, you could go in and talk to a doctor about a referral to a psychiatrist or therapist, potentially. You may have tried that already though. You can also search for online therapy and see if there’s someone you can meet with via the internet. Oh! Or check and see if there’s a health hotline (I’m in Canada and we have info Santé that’s 811, you call and similarly to 911 they direct you to a health professional that you can talk to about your symptoms). And maybe while you’re trying to find a way to meet up with a therapist, keep a journal of all the feelings and symptoms you’re experiencing so you have concret data for them when you get an appointment. Hope this helps! Feel free to reach out if you want someone to chat with, I’m a social work student with a small amount of mental health knowledge but always willing to listen and do my best to help!",0.9794,positive,sympathizing
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,3,"Thank you for your kind words 😊.  I don't want my mum to know because I don't wanna hear what she'll say to me about it, actually, I can't hear what she has to say cause it'll just hurt me.  There is basically no one I can confide in that won't get offended later on.  I've been in to see my family doctor, he first of all referred me to a service for CBT which didn't help at all, I asked for a referral to a psychiatrist but he wouldn't because he thinks it'll reveal something I'm not ready to hear to which I will say that there is nothing they can say that will suprise me at this point. He has decided to be my ""therapist"" of sorts.  I don't really know where to look for someone who can help me with labelling whatever it is that's going on.  I've been trying to do that, like I have a diary for my daily thoughts and then I write down a summary of all of it to give to my doctor.  Thank you so much! I really appreciate it 😊",0.9746,positive,trusting
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,4,I went to my college counselor last year but it didn't really help sadly,0.0245,neutral,disappointed
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_1,5,"Have you looked up online therapy? Maybe there’s something there that would be helpful. Really sorry to hear that you don’t have solid support! Are you sure that talking with your mom will be hurtful or are you deciding what you think she’ll say (if that makes sense)? I think sometimes we assume the worst but our parents can surprise us sometimes! Also, that really sucks about your doctor. Not sure about the legal side from your area but I feel like you should have the right to a referral. You could look into that to see if there’s a way you can sort of force your doctor to refer you.",0.2767,positive,suggesting
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,6,"Most of them cost money to use :(  Thank you so much. My mum doesn't understand what's going on, I know this because I've tried to talk to her before and she just will not listen to me regardless of what I say.  I doubt I'll be able to get one by forcing him to legally",-0.3612,negative,sympathizing
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,7,To see someone by myself I have to get a referral from my doctor or you go to the hospital and tell them you want to kill yourself and you feel at risk :/,-0.836,negative,afraid
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,8,"May I ask, why don’t you want your mom to find out how you feel?",0.0772,positive,questioning
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,9,"She doesn't listen. My sister seems to matter more to her than I do, always been that way really. Always putting her needs before mine instead of the other way around sometimes.",0.0258,neutral,annoyed
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,10,"Yeah, I get that. But you need to tell her, and tell her how important it is. She’s still your mom, and as such, should respect your problems",0.5267,positive,agreeing
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,11,"Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!  That would be nice, thank you",0.8775,positive,acknowledging
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,12,She's not going to take me seriously. I've tried to previously and we just got into this huge argument and quite frankly I cannot deal with that again,-0.1469,negative,angry
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,13,"I know you don’t want to hear this, but going to the hospital might be the best decision if you feel like you’re going to kill yourself. Feeling at risk is a lot better then dying",0.6808,positive,apprehensive
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,14,"I know it'll be the best decision but I don't want to go and then have them call my mum or one of my other emergency contacts because I know exactly what they'll do, they won't listen and they'll tell me I'm being dramatic and wasting the doctors time so I'd rather not however much Ive thought ""f it, I'll just go"". I'm not at any actual risk because I know I won't do it but ya know, the thoughts are still there all of the damn time",-0.8975,negative,apprehensive
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,15,"They can say whatever they want, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to it",0.0387,neutral,neutral
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,16,No but it does mean I still have to go home with them and then get several lectures in a row to which I will snap at because they don't listen to me,-0.1531,negative,angry
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,17,"It’s better than suicide, at some point",-0.3818,negative,neutral
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,18,Yeah I know... I just don't want to have to deal with all the drama that'll come of it if I went to the hospital because the drama is what's going to tip me over the edge...,0.2448,positive,apprehensive
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,listener_2,19,"They’d be able to help you down from the edge there. Just remember, all the drama and shame you think will come is nothing compared to dying. I promise.",0.2263,positive,neutral
822,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do...,speaker,20,"I don't want death though. That's the thing. I want to disappear for sure but not death. I'm safe at the moment. I don't need the drama that will come from me saying anything about what I feel, I don't need to hear whatever negative thing they wish to say or anything that they think is helpful which is actually so far from it in truth because that will force me to do shit that they won't like and then that'll cause more of a storm and it just turns into a viscous circle of crap",-0.5256,negative,content
823,MentalHealthSupport,Death of a loved one,speaker,1,"We lost my grandma this morning. Right now it hasn't hit me super hard, but we go to do all the funeral plans tomorrow. Picking out caskets and talking to the funeral director.... I know it will hit hard soon.... How do you take care of yourself when a loved one has passed? I am really scared, and worried. :(",-0.8935,negative,anxious
823,MentalHealthSupport,Death of a loved one,listener_1,2,"I am so sorry for your loss.. death is never easy. But it’s something we will always have to deal with until we go.  I work as a funeral assistant/morgue assistant and I got into bc my grandfather passed and he was a very private and unloving man. I had the opportunity to dress him with my mother (his daughter) and it was the most meaningful experience of my life.  I’m not saying you should dress them but to see them before burial, peaceful. It brings beautiful closure and a chance to say goodbye.  I know this might sound terrifying but it’s really not as scary as it sounds.  Know that they will always be there for you in spirit too.  I talk to my grandparents every now and then, when I’m alone outside. And I feel their presence.  Sometimes it’s really hard, and I just want to see them, hear them.. hug them.  But I know eventually we will be reunited.",0.8346,positive,caring
823,MentalHealthSupport,Death of a loved one,speaker,3,This comment is beautiful. Thank you.,0.7506,positive,acknowledging
823,MentalHealthSupport,Death of a loved one,listener_1,4,"I hope your feeling better, don’t be afraid to mourn. We all have different ways of going through grief too.  Sending love!",0.6996,positive,consoling
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,speaker,1,"I just don’t know what to do anymore. I hate myself, so genuinely. There is nothing good about me, and I know It. Idk how much longer I can make it tbh",-0.7584,negative,devastated
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,listener_1,2,"Hon, it does get better. It's hard to see when you're under that cloud, but it's worth hanging in there.  If you haven't already spoken to a professional about what's going on, please do. Life is so much more than this.",0.7227,positive,consoling
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,speaker,3,"As much as I’d like to believe that it does, I’m only 21 and I’ve been suicidal for 6 years. That’s well over a quarter of my life. There’s no point in continuing like this",-0.1531,negative,devastated
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,listener_1,4,"I had my first suicidal thought at 8 years old and my first plan about six months later. The first attempt was at age 12, followed by another at 15, two at 16 when I was homeless the first time, two at 17, three at 18, a bit of a break until I was 20 and then another followed by my first psych ward stay... I've actually lost count of the attempts at this point,but with each attempt I identified flaws and improved on it and got a bit better at it each time. The attempt earlier this year was thwarted only because my car wouldn't start; that one landed me in a psych hospital on a treatment order.  Trust me, I know the intense pain you're in. It does get better. There is no instant fix, it's taken years of therapy and messing with meds, but it's worth it to come out the other side. I've only been free of the cloud for seven months, I'll let you do the maths on the percentage of my life that was spent in that darkness, but the past 7 months have been amazing. I never knew it was possible to wake up in the morning and look forward to the day, but it is!  Do yourself a favour; seek professional support now and get your own breakthrough while you're still young enough to make the most of it.",0.9598,positive,terrified
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,speaker,5,"Nothing is ever going to fix what’s wrong with me. I’m stuck like this forever and it affects all of my relationships and it’s horrible. My main problem is completely unsolveable. It’s hard to explain, but it really is",-0.6407,negative,devastated
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,listener_1,6,I have DID. Try me.,0.0,neutral,neutral
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,speaker,7,"I’m trans. I hide it from everyone and I’m miserable because of how much I hate myself. I’ve transitioned, but I’ll never be normal",-0.5859,negative,ashamed
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,listener_1,8,"The way you spoke, I thought it was something bad :)  Good news, you can be happy and you don't even have to change who you are. What's normal? It's different for everyone. My normal wouldn't work for you and your normal wouldn't work for me.  The reality is that being trans is nothing weird and nothing to hide. If the people around you aren't safe to be yourself around, there are plenty of others who will accept you exactly as you are.  I have three trans friends; one is ftm and in the process of transitioning, one is mtf fully transitioned, and the third is genderfluid.  The mtf struggled with the issues you're struggling with now, so she moved to a different area. Now she's queen of the place! She has a good circle of friends who are also mtf transitioned and she's living life to the full.  The ftm has DID like me and struggled with the double whammy. When we first met, he was scared to come out as trans and hid it from everyone. When he finally did come out, most of us accepted and supported him which gave him the strength to cope with the negativity from his mother. Three years on, even she has come to accept who he is. He's about 14 months into his transition, starting to look masculine thanks to the HRT, and is now living independently with his therapy dog. I've known him for five years and watched him grow from a timid little mouse into a strong man who has even found love!  The third is one of my best friends, and my greatest source of information about transgender issues. They have taught me so much about gender identity and gender expression and why certain things matter that us cis people take for granted. They have DID too, and they were actually the one who taught me to be okay with my split nature.  So yeah, you absolutely can have an awesome life. It may mean making some changes so that you're free to stop hiding, it may mean therapy to learn to accept your identity, but it's certainly not something that will doom you to a life of misery. You can still live your best life.",0.9784,positive,surprised
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,speaker,9,"I just hate being lgbt so much tho. I have trans friends, but I just don’t get along with them very much. I don’t go to pride or do any of that stuff, I just want cus friends who treat me like a normal guy. And I sort of have that rn because they don’t know I’m trans, but it complicates things because they talk about stuff that idk how to respond to. Or they try to hook me up with girls and I just can’t do that. It sucks",0.8847,positive,annoyed
824,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself so much that I want to die,listener_1,10,">I don’t go to pride or do any of that stuff, I just want cus friends who treat me like a normal guy  I understand that. I've never been to pride in my life and don't intend to, my LGBTQIA status only comes up if there's a woman that interests me (which hasn't happened for a while, I'm actually over relationships right now), being Bi is not something I feel the need to broadcast so I actually understand you not wanting to be about that life.  That's the thing though, you don't need to be. You get to set the rules about your life. Of the three friends I mentioned, only the mtf lady is involved in that whole side of it. My ftm friend mentions it insofar as it's relevant when seeking advice but otherwise just lives as a guy and that's that; he's actually dating a ftm man so it works out really well for them because they understand each other. But yeah, unless he specifically brings it up it's not something we go out of our way to bring up, he's just one of the guys.  And my genderfluid friend lives day to day in gender-neutral outfits and appearance and the bulk of our conversation revolves around politics, DID advocacy, or cats. Their gender only comes up if I'm trying to wrap my head around a concept that they can help me understand because they are *really* good at explaining things so I can understand.  There's no requirement that you have to be flamboyant, just being yourself is enough. If you can't do that at present, it may be time to consider a change of environment so you're around people where that's possible.  Trans acceptance is growing and there are a lot of people who are starting to understand that gender identity is just one aspect of a person and there is so much more to each person. You will find people who you can truly be yourself around and that's where you'll thrive.",0.9862,positive,trusting
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,speaker,1,Hey. I’m thirteen and I have asperger. I used to be top of my class. Everything was so easy and life was great. But around 2 to 3 years ago my mental health started becoming worse and worse... I cry my self to sleep. I get so mad when I’m not up to my ridiculous standards and I can’t get anything done.. my grades are falling and I just don’t know what to do! I’m constantly so scared of the future and what I’ll do if I fail.. I often get mental breakdowns where I lay down and cry for up to an hour and punch things around me.  I don’t know if this will help but it’s the only Thing I can think of. So do you have any tips for some kind of way to turn my life around?,-0.9858,negative,angry
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,listener_1,2,Is there any way you can consult a counsellor or therapist?,0.0,neutral,questioning
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,speaker,3,Yeah. Where I live (in Sweden.) there is this free government made thing that can give you free therapy if you are a child/teenager,0.8546,positive,excited
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,speaker,4,I when to a therapist when I was around 11. When I got diagnosed with aspergers and over hear them talking about minor depression. But other than that I haven’t gone to a therapist.,-0.3291,negative,apprehensive
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,listener_2,5,"I’d really recommend asking your parents to take you to therapy again, like the other commenter suggested! It takes time but therapy is very helpful.",0.7951,positive,suggesting
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,listener_3,6,"Hey friend. I know what its like. You need to ask you parents to bring you back to counseling, it will help a lot",0.8126,positive,agreeing
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,listener_1,7,"I think you should definitely go for therapy if you can. Good luck with everything, my PMs are open if you ever need someone to talk to :)",0.8909999999999999,positive,agreeing
825,MentalHealthSupport,I need help..,speaker,8,Thanks. I’ll be sure to check out that website.,0.6369,positive,acknowledging
826,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice on seasonal depression.,speaker,1,"Hi everyone. This is a very new experience for me because I dont like posting a lot of my personal life on social media but I'm wanting advice. Like a lot of people, I get really depressed around the holidays. Everytime I see Christmas decorations anywhere, I just get super sad and close myself off from the world.  Let go ahead and say this but I have absolutely, no reason to feel this way anymore but I've dealt with this ever since I was really young (I'm 23 at the time of posting this). I've always felt like the black sheep around my family because of my differences in appearance, ideas, etc. But ever since I started dating my wife, shes gotten me more interactive with them and learning that they do love me even tho we're different. Her family has always welcomed me with open arms btw.  My friends are the best in the world also. They've known about my depression since middle school, even tho I didn't tell anyone about it till senior year of high school. They love having a Friendsmas, which is awesome, but I always secretly feel like they'd be better off without me there.  I try to fake smiles as much as I can around this time no matter who I'm around. I've never talked about this with anyone other than my wife and friends. I find it hard for me to trust random people because I've always been the outcast my whole life but I'm wanting a neutral 3rd parties' advice on seasonal depression. The rest of the year is hit or me with me. I'm already diagnosed bipolar and I'm on mood stabilizers for it.   Thank you to anyone who's read this and wanting to help",0.9942,positive,sentimental
826,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice on seasonal depression.,listener_1,2,I'm sorry I can't give u advice cus I myself am battling with it..  But one thing u need to know is that seasonal depression is a medical condition thus it does not need a reason to happen just like ppl who never smoke cigarettes can develop cancer..  So try not to be hard on yourself n please try not to isolate yourself..   We'll pull through this year too,-0.7444,negative,sympathizing
826,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice on seasonal depression.,speaker,3,Thank you man,0.3612,positive,grateful
827,MentalHealthSupport,I keep having weird thoughts,speaker,1,I keep having weird thoughts that life is fake and not real? Could it be my anxiety. This started a couple days ago.,-0.6705,negative,anxious
827,MentalHealthSupport,I keep having weird thoughts,listener_1,2,"It sounds like dissociation and could be related to your anxiety. Dissociation can also be found in other disorders as well, it kinda seems to tag along.  I know therapy isn't always accessible to all, but if it's possible for you to go, they really do have a lot of mindful techniques to help ground yourself!   My mom's a therapist and some techniques she taught me that help me ground myself are to take my shoes off and feel dirt/grass between my toes, or to take something cool and textured out of the fridge (like an orange) and describe to myself how it feels. I don't expect that to *immediately* fix your problem, but little grounding techniques can help in the moment. There's probably some more available on youtube if you'd like to check them out.  I used to heavily dissociate so I understand how you feel rn.. so if you just wanna rant or talk to someone anout your feelings I'm here for you, dude!",0.9431,positive,caring
827,MentalHealthSupport,I keep having weird thoughts,speaker,3,"I went to my therapist yesterday actually and he said that I don’t have dp/dr so Idk what it is. He said everyone thinks that sometimes, but maybe my anxiety made it stick around",-0.3576,negative,surprised
827,MentalHealthSupport,I keep having weird thoughts,listener_1,4,"Even if you don't have a dr/dp diagnosis I think your therapist should still sit with you and help you with this type of symptoms, you know? I would definitely bring it up again...they're there to help you work on yourself and if I were you I'd seriously keep annoying my therapist until it got to them ""hey this is really bothering them/we should do therapy on this regardless""  Also, If you meet with a psychiatrist I'd bring it up there. Sometimes just altering my meds a little bit have fixed big problems for me.",-0.2247,negative,agreeing
827,MentalHealthSupport,I keep having weird thoughts,speaker,5,"He actually recommended cbt for a treatment plan, forgot to mention that I’m also a hypocondriac as well.",0.4404,positive,neutral
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,speaker,1,"I've been on meds for a few years and when I take them, they seem to really work. It helps my depression and keeps my anxiety at bay for the most part. But I lost it today at work. I'm not sure if they just wore off, but they hadn't before. I always take them at the same time but today in the middle of my shift, I just broke.   I work at a call center type of job, and it was back to back with tech support and people that I couldn't understand on the phone for whatever reason(too close, speaker, etc). It was hectic, and I was getting stressed. Even had a customer make me cry, which is rare. Normally I can just forget about it but this one stuck with me.   I was supposed to stay an extra 2 hours and instead I LEFT. I had promised the day before and now I feel like a failure that will never be reliable. I don't even know how to face my manger tomorrow and explain the reason why.   The worst part was KNOWING that it was because I was off my meds. And I couldn't fix it. I tried every technique I could think of and had learned about, but nothing was working. When I got home, I took another dose and now(a few hours later), I feel normal again.  **But is it real?**  Which me is the real one? Is it the one that's medicated, energetic and always on the go? Or is it the one that's always in pain, and wishes she could disappear? Depression makes you physically hurt.",-0.9888,negative,sad
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,listener_1,2,"Diabetes and insulin is a good analogy here; would you be questioning your identity if you had to rely on insulin?  The reality is that depression and mood disorders are typically a result of chemical imbalance (there are exceptions of course, like grief and loss or past trauma). The medication helps to balance or replace those chemicals and from there if comes down to personality.  So the answer to your question is that it's the real you either way, but medicated you has assistance to have more control over self. You're just doing what you would do if those chemicals weren't unbalanced.",-0.4019,negative,questioning
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,speaker,3,"It makes sense in that metaphor but explaining it to your boss is different. Not to mention, the stigma behind mental health already.",0.0,neutral,neutral
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,listener_1,4,"It depends on the boss. Some are more understanding than others.  I know what you mean about the stigma, but that's where these conversations are helpful. Bit by bit the stigma is breaking down.",0.5719,positive,neutral
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,speaker,5,"Thanks. I needed to hear that. I'm currently on my normal dose, so I'm having an internal struggle/battle about which one is real. I'm usually introverted but the meds make me extroverted (if I'm in public). It's hard to know which one is real. Doesn't make sense to be both, right?",0.09,positive,questioning
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,speaker,6,"She seems pretty cool, but I'm scared of being known as the girl with the health problems like that. It's happened before with my last job. Especially since I'm fairly young (not 30 yet), and don't LOOK sick. Hopefully I'll know how to best put it into words by the time I actually have to go to work.",0.7241,positive,apprehensive
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,listener_1,7,">I'm scared of being known as the girl with the health problems like that.  I understand your fear, but if you just explain it in matter-of-fact terms and resist the urge to over-justify or compensate, it should be okay.  What might help is offering to negotiate a plan to prevent a recurrence, such as giving her a heads-up if there has been a med change or a stressor that might affect you.",0.3182,positive,agreeing
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,listener_2,8,"Hi scared of being known as the girl with the health problems like that. it's happened before with my last job. especially since , I'm dad.",-0.4767,negative,afraid
828,MentalHealthSupport,Who Even AM I Without These Meds???! I don't know if I can keep doing this. Depression physically HURTS.,listener_1,9,BadDadBot!!!,0.0,neutral,angry
829,MentalHealthSupport,How to stop having panic attacks when I wake up?,speaker,1,"Sometimes when I wake up I sort of remember who I am, what my life is, and just my whole situation and I have a panic attack. Crying, hyperventilating, and super hardcore suicidal ideation. It used to happen rarely but now seems to be happening twice a week sometimes. Has anyone dealt with this and had any success in stopping it or maybe calming yourself down before it gets too bad? I’d appreciate any advice.  Note, I can’t take any advice that involves spending money and there are no free counselors/therapy stuff in my area. So I can really only apply like self-care or something in this situation.",0.2599,positive,terrified
829,MentalHealthSupport,How to stop having panic attacks when I wake up?,listener_1,2,"You can try this. It’s free, online, and private: www.innerpathways.org",0.5106,positive,trusting
829,MentalHealthSupport,How to stop having panic attacks when I wake up?,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
829,MentalHealthSupport,How to stop having panic attacks when I wake up?,listener_1,4,You're welcome. <3,0.4588,positive,wishing
830,MentalHealthSupport,Im losing control of myself,speaker,1,"Before I begin to explain what is happening I need you to know that I am a kind person and I would never hurt anyone. So it all started one year ago, me, my sister and my mom were on a beach, I was swimming with my sister ( 5 yrs old ) Out of nowhere I had this sudden urge of holding her down while she was swimming... Now after that the urge of doing that got way stronger and I sometimes even fell for it and tried to dok could understand me please do not hate me, I hate myself at this point for thinking about such thing, Please help me!",0.9283,positive,caring
830,MentalHealthSupport,Im losing control of myself,listener_1,2,"These sound like intrusive thoughts mixed with something? It’s good that you are self-aware and can recognize what you are doing. When you have a thought like this, take a breath and then ask yourself what is making you think that. Evaluate how your body feels in your head - tense? Hot? Cold? Write anything down if you can. Make an appointment with a therapist asap if you can.",0.755,positive,anxious
830,MentalHealthSupport,Im losing control of myself,speaker,3,Thanks but I am 14 and I dont want to tell my parents about it but tganks for the tip,0.1573,positive,neutral
830,MentalHealthSupport,Im losing control of myself,listener_1,4,You can tell your parents you are depressed and would like to see a therapist.,-0.2023,negative,suggesting
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_2,1,"I feel like shit 24/7 and have had thoughts about suicide too many times. No one in my family knows but I want to tell them so I can get help, how do I approach this? This is a but rushed so it may not make tons of sense but if anyone has any ideas I would really appreciate it.",0.6236,positive,apprehensive
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_3,2,"Hi, do you have any relatives you feel close to? Somebody you feel won't judge? Mental health can be very difficult to talk about, some people don't understand, don't feel discouraged if that happens, I still highly recommend you speak with someone. You can write down what you feel so it's easier for you to explain and for them to understand, you need to talk with someone soon and if possible, go to therapy. I hope things go well",0.8656,positive,questioning
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_2,3,"I don’t have any family members that i feel will understand, I go to a therapist and I’m thinking of telling her, we have only been meeting for about a week for trauma and pretty bad social anxiety.",-0.5859,negative,apprehensive
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_3,4,"Please talk to her about it, she can give you more tools and help you navigate through that. Every case is different so if you tell her about your family, she's going to give you better advice on how to explain them. You can start with just one person, someone who is close to you, even if they don't understand know you can help them understand eventually",0.8709,positive,suggesting
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_2,5,Any advise of how to tell her? I’m super awkward and I suck at telling people how I feel,0.1027,positive,questioning
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_3,6,"It happens to me as well, what I do most of the time is to write down everything, how I feel, my thoughts, how it started, all that jazz. You can also tell her that it's very difficult for you to express your thoughts, so she can give you time. I need to organise my ideas because my brain sucks. Maybe that can help you. If it feels weird maybe you can ask her to read instead of listening to you talk? If that makes sense",-0.2944,negative,suggesting
830,MentalHealthSupport,I need advice,listener_2,7,"I’ll try to tell her, thank you",0.3612,positive,wishing
831,MentalHealthSupport,im bulimic and I want to stop,speaker,1,"i don’t want to tell anyone in my family or my therapist because I’m afraid I’ll most likely get send back to the mental hospital.   some background; being in a mental hospital was literal hell for me. they treated us like prisoners and didn’t respect our rights as patients. for example, in my state we are legally allowed to have visitors once a day. they only allowed visits 3 times a week. when this was brought up by me and others, we were told that we don’t understand how rights work and that it’s none of our concern. even though they legally have to have our rights posted for us to see (which they did) that clearly indicated that. I’m also extremely sensitive to loud noises because of my anxiety and they would wake us up like we were the scum of earth. they would bang on our doors and flicker out lights while yelling at the top of their lungs “WAKE THE HELL UP”. this would trigger me and I would wake up screaming and crying and I was told that “this is a hospital setting so you need to get over it” I often talked to them and asked them to please not wake me up so violently, which they ignored. I hated that hospital so much and it made me want to die even more.   I’ve been bulimic for years but have kept it hidden because it wasn’t as violent as it is currently. I don’t know what hit me but now it’s constant and I can’t stop. nobody has noticed but it’s just a matter of time. I want to heal myself before anyone notices because I’d rather die than go back to that hell hole. if you have/had bulimia and/or know how to stop, please let me know. I really don’t want to go back.",-0.985,negative,afraid
831,MentalHealthSupport,im bulimic and I want to stop,listener_1,2,"Hey that sounds really frustrating that you don’t feel safe enough to be able to tell your therapist or family. I’m sorry you’re going through this!   I haven’t had bulimia but I know a bit about recovery from it (one of my close friends went through some major eating disorders but is not well on her way to recovery!). Have you been able to identify what triggers it? What feelings are involved? Often bulimia and other eating disorders have to do with control, perfectionism, past traumas, self-esteem, or stress. Can you identify what factors are involved?  The most helpful thing would be to talk with your therapist. Have you talked with your therapist about clear definition for what would get you sent back to the inpatient hospital setting? If you can set up some sort of guidelines or structure it might make it safe for you to talk to them about it. Or ask to change therapists to someone who is more understanding, if that is possible.  In the meantime, I’d recommend starting to journal your feelings whenever you feel the urge to binge/purge. Try taking up mindfulness meditations so that you can learn to understand what is going on in your head. And I’d also recommend trying Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT (https://youtu.be/frUe2fHJxzA). I haven’t seen this used with eating disorders but I have a feeling that it may be helpful in resisting the urge to binge/purge. In any case, it isn’t dangerous to try even if it ends up not helping. I use it a lot for anxiety.  It’s really important to understand the underlying reasons you feel the need to binge/purge, to improve your negative thinking, and to resolve any emotional issues that may have caused it. If you can’t talk to family or your therapist, try finding other adults who may be able to support you through this. And make sure you’re surrounding yourself with friends who are positive and caring. You don’t necessarily have to share with friends what’s going on but being around people who build you up instead of tear you down is really important for your mental and emotional wellbeing while going through recovery.  I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to reach out if you want to chat!",0.9974,positive,sympathizing
831,MentalHealthSupport,im bulimic and I want to stop,speaker,3,thank you. I truly appreciate it,0.7964,positive,sympathizing
832,MentalHealthSupport,I want to die but I also don’t.,speaker,1,"It’s not that I want to die. If anything, I want to live. I’m just really tired of being “me”, someone who can’t achieve anything of worth, a privileged individual who could have done so much more with what he had but instead fell into a spiral of self-loathing and ineptitude. I say I want to die so much that it may  just as well be my mantra, but I know for a fact that it’s just shorthand for wanting to be special, to be important, to be wanted. Falling short of these expectations of mine as well as the expectations of others, and feeling unimportant alone at my age may as well be a corporal sin punishable by death.  I probably don’t deserve this life, so I go on saying I want to die.",-0.9679,negative,sad
832,MentalHealthSupport,I want to die but I also don’t.,listener_1,2,"Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Have you talked with a therapist? They may be able to help you get out of this negative self-talk cycle and find peace with yourself so that you can actually do the things you want to do.   I know it sucks to feel like you’re not worth anything but I promise that you are! It just takes some work to start seeing yourself as you actually are. You can do it! Thanks for posting and sharing what you’re going through!",0.9092,positive,sympathizing
832,MentalHealthSupport,I want to die but I also don’t.,speaker,3,"Saw this on a post on Facebook, and I was like “Wait, these are the words that I’ve been looking for for more than 2 years” and decided to memorise it and write it out, I thought maybe it’d help since it described my feelings too well.  Well, it didn’t. The comments do help though.",0.8779,positive,embarrassed
833,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know where to begin.,speaker,1,"Like the title states, I don't know where to begin or how to explain my situation. I'm using a throwaway for obvious reasons and if you don't mind me; I would like to narrate everything in bullet points.  For context:    1. This is just a small group of friends I usually hang out / chat with and share things with.  2. I do still have friends, but not that close.   3. I'm 25M *(if that matters)*    *-*  * I'm always somehow the butt of the joke, I do take it well and I usually don't care; and laugh it off. * However, weeks ago I just felt that *""Hey, I'm already 25, I'm an adult and have a voice of my own. If I don't feel comfortable just voice out.* * Voiced out and my *friends* went out telling me that it's just a joke just chill out. Then for some reason, I made a comment along the lines of *You guys can always joke about it, but when I do it suddenly you guys can't take it and say hey just chill out? I can take a joke everytime, yet you guys can't?* * Since then, I found out that during the weekends my *friends* invited each other to dinners / casual meet-ups through our chat group - but did not invite me and to top it off, posts every photo of them enjoying in the chat itself. * Additionally, nowadays whenever I share certain things with them - my words are constantly ignored and no one replies to me. * Lastly, there was a point days ago when one of the guys asked me how I'm doing lately; so I shared I wasn't doing well and felt like I needed someone to talk to or even check myself into some group therapy session etc.    * So somehow after sharing this, one of the guys decided to make a comment *""All you do is just talk, you won't actually do it.""*  I stopped talking after that comment. I pretended I didn't see that comment.     I decided to distance myself and stopped talking for days and be occupied with other things in life.    Today is **Day 5**, yet no one messaged me after that day.    I'm not sure how is this linked to Mental Health, but damn I'm breaking slowly and I've really never felt so lonely and empty in my life. It's tearing me apart little by little and I kept thinking sometimes I'm not just good enough for my *friends* and maybe I could have just shut up and take the jokes over and over again. And sometimes, I just want people to talk to, share stupid things and all.  \-",0.9468,positive,embarrassed
833,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know where to begin.,listener_1,2,"I'm so sorry you're going through that. Realizing your friends aren't actually your friends is incredibly painful. The fact that you see this, though, means you can start to change things for yourself.  It isn't easy to start fresh, but believe me, it pays off. I was part of a group of people for a long time who got off on being dicks to each other and starting drama. When I quit drinking, it occurred to me that I didn't enjoy hanging out with these people when I wasn't wasted. But after a while, I just cut myself off. Was it a clean break? No. Plus, I had to spend a lot of time soul-searching to figure out why I gravitated toward that kind of person, despite not enjoying them on a conscious level. It took a lot of hard work, and honestly, it was quite disheartening.  It wasn't the exact same thing you're going through, I know, but they were unhealthy people, total energy leeches, and I couldn't let potential loneliness stop me from putting myself first. I was about your age, too, maybe a little younger. I kept thinking that there was no way to make close friends anymore. For months, I was very isolated. It felt like it would never get better. Despite my fears, I refused to settle for less than I deserved, and I held onto the hope that I would make some real friends someday, even as the year ticked by.  Then, out of nowhere, an email popped up from a random website I hadn't used in years. Still not sure why it came through when nothing else had. It led to me meeting up with a group of strangers, and even though none of us had met previously, we somehow immediately clicked. By the end of the night, an hour-long gathering had turned into nine hours, and we realized we were instant friends. I'm not saying it all works out perfectly or anything, but that was ten years ago, and I still have those people, and more I've met along the way, to lift me up, rather than drag me down.  Screw those people. It's hard right now, but when you make the choice to find friends who actually deserve your time and energy, eventually those people will end up in your life. Good luck, and I hope yo find some close connections soon.",0.9812,positive,sad
833,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know where to begin.,speaker,3,Thank you for this.   I will work on it and I do hope time will tell.,0.6597,positive,wishing
834,MentalHealthSupport,Am I over reacting?,speaker,1,"To preface this, I’m 17f and this man is maybe in his 60s? We’ll call him John. Now this man is mentally disabled although he hasn't always been. From my understanding when he was in his 20s he was in a car accident that made him mentally disabled and believe he was still in his 20s so he’s always creeping around younger girls but his brother yells at him for it sometimes.  John goes to the same church as me and he goes with his mother, sister, and brother  When me and my family moved to this town and to this church I got warned by multiple people to keep an eye out for John because he’s been known to just creepily stare at and follow around the young girls in the church (all around 15-18) and my father was also told all of this and made it clear that he would keep an eye out for him. Now initially when we first started going to the church my mom would call him over and try talking to him while I was standing behind her in our row of seats not making eye contact. She would always make me feel bad for not talking to him because he’s special needs and we have a couple people in our family who are, so my mom always tries so hard to be friendly and nice to those who are. The entire time my mom would talk to him he would just be staring at me but she wouldn’t notice. And then from the beginning of church where we would socialize before it started he would just be staring at me and my friends talking and after he would do the same too. It was just this creepy dead eyed stare.  Now eventually my mom realized that what I was saying is right and that John is creepily staring at me so she tried to look out for me more. Whenever he tries to just stand near me or follow me she tries to be a human barrier. One time when my mom noticed he was approaching she pulled me to the back to go in the bathrooms and he followed us all the way back there and waited in the lobby for us to leave the bathroom, and then followed us back into the auditorium where my mom sat me in our seats and he eventually went back to his (thankfully far away from mine). My mom also went grocery shopping one day to the place where apparently he worked and he came up to her and just kept asking questions about me and when he asked how old I was and my mom answered him saying that I’m 17 he seemed angry so my mom ended the conversation and left. Since then my mother has gotten my father and my older brother to attempt to body guard me while we’re at church but they just honestly don’t pay attention and don’t think it’s a big deal and they don’t take it seriously.  Now this has been happening over a period of 4-5 months, and he’s never actually talked to me or tried to say anything to me except for the first time my parents made me look at him and tell him my name (even though I was extremely uncomfortable and have mentioned to them before I never want to talk to him) but this past Wednesday as we were leaving our church John just in the creepiest way possible said “bye unusual_breadstick” and I wanted in that moment to actually die. And as soon as we (me my brother and my father) got into the parking lot my dad started making fun of me for it and started joking about how I’m going to marry him one day.  Now I know nothing truly serious has happened but I just don’t want to risk it ever having to actually be serious for me to get the help I need with him. It’s greatly disturbing me and my family just make jokes about me and him being together in the future even though I’ve told them before now I wasn’t okay with it.  Basically I just want an outsiders clear view on this to tell me if I’m being dramatic or not.  Thank you for your time in reading this and I’m sorry it’s probably not in the right subreddit but I don’t really know where else to go. I just need some metal clarity and an outsiders view.",-0.065,negative,surprised
834,MentalHealthSupport,Am I over reacting?,listener_1,2,You are not being dramatic. Multiple people have warned you. Your mother sees it.   You can be mentally delayed or special needs with out being a creeper.   Is there someone you can talk to about this?  What did the people that warned you do to deal with him?,-0.4137,negative,questioning
834,MentalHealthSupport,Am I over reacting?,speaker,3,"My best friend told her friends father (which is johns brother) and he yelled at John for a little while on the phone about it, and I already reached out to that friends mother since I’m more comfortable with her but I haven’t seen any result nor have I heard anything regarding it again. And one other girl had her father talk to him and tell him to back off and then they later moved to a different country so I really don’t have much to go off of with that.   Thank you so much for responding, I really appreciate it",0.948,positive,trusting
834,MentalHealthSupport,Am I over reacting?,speaker,4,"I’ve been asking my mom to get another therapists number from one of her co workers since my last therapist is in my old town. I’m hoping I can start going to the new therapist by the end of the month so I can talk with them about it, but besides that, I only have my best friend who’s younger than me so I really don’t want her to go through anything with him again since he used to creep around her before I moved here and came to this church. As far as the pastor goes I could talk with him but I’m not too comfortable with him yet and since we’re still the new family I don’t want to make any unnecessary drama or conflict with other people yet.",0.8387,positive,trusting
834,MentalHealthSupport,Am I over reacting?,listener_1,5,I hope it gets worked out and he leaves you alone. Your not being a drama queen about this. You have good instincts.,0.5859,positive,trusting
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,speaker,1,so yesterday i had an anxiety attack for the majority of the day but then it shifted to more of a panic attack at night. i have both constantly so i was fine until something new happened. i couldn’t physically move or talk. there was absolutely nothing i could do. my boyfriend thought i had ODed or something. no matter what he said to me or shook me or i tried to talk i couldn’t respond in any way. it took me an hour to be able to jerk my head slightly to a yes or no question. i don’t know what it was and that has never happened before. does anyone know????,-0.9351,negative,terrified
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,listener_1,2,This happens to me too. Last night as well. It’s just too much sometimes and feels like no decision makes sense so you don’t move. It’s hard.,0.25,positive,agreeing
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,speaker,3,"thanks, it helps knowing that this is a thing other people experience too. it was like suddenly a flip switched and i was convinced there was nothing i could do or think to make everything slow down for a second and it just kinda ended with me curled in a ball unable to do anything but take shallow breaths",0.6542,positive,agreeing
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,speaker,4,that’s the word used to describe how i was. i do have a therapist but i’m away at college so seeing anyone in person is really hard. i do have the office number to call if i need to get in contact but the whole situation freaks me out a lot and phone calls are hard enough for me as it is.,-0.4194,negative,neutral
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,listener_2,5,"I really recommend finding some therapist that will text chat. There are many. I cant do phone calls either, I break down and end up unable to talk, Texting is the one thing that makes it so I can communicate. Also if you ever need to chat about something I am always an open ear and I wont judge. If you want help finding some help I would be willing to help you find that. We all need help getting help some times.",0.9392,positive,trusting
835,MentalHealthSupport,please help me,listener_1,6,Right there with you,0.0,neutral,agreeing
836,MentalHealthSupport,I spent seven hours plucking/shaving my eyebrows and they look horrible and I’m freaking out,speaker,1,"I’m going on a double date tomorrow, I have my final wedding dress fitting Monday (but thx to Halloween and binge eating disorder I’ve gained six pounds in abt three weeks), im going out to lunch with a friend on Monday, i start a new job Tuesday, and I’m getting married in five weeks.  I’ve picked at my skin since I was 12 and before that I pulled my hair out. I spent about seven hours plucking/shaving my brows today and now that I think of it, since I haven’t been picking my skin as much lately maybe I’m starting to go back to hair. If nothing else, today was the first I’ve truly pulled my hair out in about 15 years. It started out just trying to get stray hairs and I shaved a bit too much so I plucked trying to fix it, etc.  Anyway my dad and sister kinda laughed and were shocked/disappointed and when my mom saw it she started to cry (there’s more behind that, but suffice it to say my executive dysfunction has her rly worried abt how ill get by after the wedding, esp since this happened so close to so many big things and I always fuck shit up right when I need to rly not fuck shit up, yknow?).  I heard it takes 8-16+ weeks for brows to grow back, though supposedly castor/coconut/olive oil rly helps speeds that up. My room is a disaster and I know that plays a big part in this eyebrow mess (and my recently worsened insomnia), even if I haven’t felt noticeably anxious abt it rly.  I hate fall. It makes me even moodier than I already am. It fucks up my sleep, my sense of time (which is already crazy fucked), my ability to care for myself, etc. I showered today for the first time in uhh.... I want to say five days? And that was after waking up at like 11.  I tried sharing the eyebrow thing with my fiancé and he told me it didn’t look so bad, it’s fine. And he’s never dismissive of my problems so I know he meant that to be helpful, but he thinks it’s just me being insecure, I don’t think he realizes it’s gonna take forever to grow back? Or smth? And I can’t go to my therapist bc I’m on Medicaid and she doesn’t take Medicaid and I won’t have insurance from this job until like December. She said I could text her tho so maybe I will tomorrow.  And maybe it doesn’t look that bad, and sure there’s makeup and products out there to help, maybe I’ll even go to sephora or my salon to ask for tips. But I could have easily just gotten up and had them threaded. There’s a place not even 10 minutes away from my house.  I haven’t even started packing to move in after the wedding, it didn’t rly dawn on me until my mom mentioned it after seeing my brows.  Anyway I figure since I’m probably not gonna sleep anyway I might as well organize my room.",-0.9669,negative,ashamed
836,MentalHealthSupport,I spent seven hours plucking/shaving my eyebrows and they look horrible and I’m freaking out,listener_1,2,"That sucks. I hate when tweezing goes bad. However, I find my stray hairs I plucked only take like three weeks to grow back. Idk if that's abnormal or not though. I wouldn't fret too much, just pencil them in until they fill out again.  I like fall, but I hate the time change. Makes it seem like everything gets darker way quicker.  Though you should try to sleep at least a little, I hope you manage to get your room organized. My room is a disaster too, I need to get it cleaned.  Hope you feel better soon :)",0.5621,positive,hopeful
836,MentalHealthSupport,I spent seven hours plucking/shaving my eyebrows and they look horrible and I’m freaking out,speaker,3,"That’s a good point; I tweeze between my brows just fine and I feel like that always grows back pretty fast (though I’ll def being paying closer attention now to confirm).  I think it’s the time change that I hate the most. It’s always confusing and I think that plus it getting darker sooner plays a big role in my moodiness. Plus the fact that the weather is also a huge factor. Non-sunny/warm weather always puts me in a slump, and if it lasts for 3+ days in a row, forget it. At least in winter there’s Christmas and other holidays to cheer you up. March is a garbage month but the rest of spring is fine, and ofc summer is the best imo.  I’ve sorted out my closet and cleaned/put away all my makeup stuff, so now I have some more space on my desk. :) I think next I’m going to just throw out my tweezers, mirror, and blackhead extractor too. They’ve caused me more anguish than not and I’m so tired.",0.5449,positive,annoyed
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,1,"I saw a picture of the boy that I love on Instagram by accident today. It was of him and another girl, and she was kissing his cheek. Looks like he moved on.   Now, I love this boy, and all I want is for him to be happy. In fact, the two of them were smiling and I really hope those smiles were genuine and that they are happy together. I want the best for him and that girl. But that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.   We had such strong feelings for each other, but as soon as a problem came up, he pushed me away. It took a lot of strength for me to end something so beautiful.   We were supposed to be friends. After I stood up to him and ended things, he apologized and told me that I deserved better. He gave me a whole speech about how I don’t deserve to be treated the way he treated me, and I’m grateful that he tried to empower me like that, but it doesn’t change what he did. We tried the friend thing for a few weeks and then he pushed me out altogether. I feel like using the term “ghosting” really cheapens the feelings I had for him, but I guess you could say that’s kinda what happens.   And it only ended a few months ago. It was the first time I’ve ever held anyone’s hand without the reason for it being that I was too afraid to say no. I was molested when I was a child, and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to let anyone in, and then I found him. And then he fucked it up and broke my heart before I could even fully show him my world. And now he’s with another girl.   I never kissed him. I’ve never kissed anybody. I love him  and I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. And he’ll never know how much I’ve changed for the better after knowing him. I’ll always be different now, but it feels like I might have never mattered to him. But then I feel like I’m crazy because when I go back in my memories, I clearly did. Just maybe not as much anymore? I don’t know.   I could really use some kind words.",0.9968,positive,caring
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,listener_1,2,"Oh hun, here are some virtual hugs \*HUGS\*. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things WILL get better. It's only been a few months. He left you once a problem came up, so he most likely doesn't know how to handle those things in a relationship and will repeat the cycle with anyone else that he fancies. You DO deserve better.   He won't be the only guy that you'll be able to open up to. You love him, I understand that. Now it's time for you to love you.   Do stuff you enjoy or try something new.",0.9778,positive,wishing
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for this. Ugh there’s something about being called hun that is so comforting lol!!! You’re right.   We had a whole dialogue about what went down between us, and hopefully he has gotten professional help like I suggested or at least figured out a way through work through his avoidant attachment style.   I told him that I would never chase him, and I stuck to my guns. It’s easy for me to hate myself for how it all went down, but I was so calm, composed, and mature the whole time. I was graceful and kind to him, but also I pulled the plug as soon as a toxic pattern began.   He was in my life for a month. Long enough to love him but not long enough for life to catch up with the feelings we had for each other. Feels like so many things will always be unsaid.   I told him that he’s in danger of doing this to other girls and hurting them the way he did to me. I really hope that woke him up. Seemed like he felt horrible about what he did and while he owned up to what he did, he never once said “I’m sorry.” He’s very self aware and knows what he did and what he has to fix, but I don’t know if he’s done anything about it.   I’m so jealous of that girl in the photo. I find myself going back and forth between “my face is prettier,” “is she skinnier than me?” And all the likes. But then I think about her. Like, REALLY think about her. And I just want her to be happy. I hope that he treats her well. I hope they’re both happy. Genuinely. This is what love is about.   And in regards to me, maybe I should focus on that more. Every second of every day I focus on the next step I can take towards recovering from the abuse that I’ve endured and the mental illness that has come as a result. This boy was a step along the way. A step that I’m reluctant to leave behind but I have to.   And you’re right. It’s been a bit over 3 months since it ended, and it’s already gotten much better. I can’t wait to heal from this and be Abel to fully move forward.   Still miss him though. Heaps and heaps and heaps like my gosh I’ll love that boy for as long as I live. But it will be a different love one day. He’ll never know how much he means to me!! I suppose he doesn’t deserve to though.   Tomorrow I’ll put on a nice outfit and maybe do makeup if I want to :) I also have therapy tomorrow (PRAISE BE). Thank you for your encouragement. Your words have been so comforting.",0.9983,positive,trusting
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,4,"Thank you so much. All you’ve said is right. It’s always hurt to feel love from others since it’s been so sparse. I used to run away from it or numb the pain that came when someone tried to give me love (platonic or romantic), or even just flirt with me. But when he came into my life, I was forced to let it in. That’s why this one hits deep. The first time, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, but there I was, my first date with this boy this summer, and I had my head in his lap as he stormed my hair and all I was thinking was “How am I not terrified?”   I think remembering the good hurts quite a bit right now. It stopped hurting for the last few weeks, but seeing that picture tonight fucked everything up. I was close to moving forward but then that picture.... ugh it ruined my vibe man!!! I was having such a good night!   Since he’s come around though, I still feel difficulty letting the love in, but I’m better at forcing myself to accept it now. I rarely result to numbing the pain, whereas before I met him, it was constant and I saw no end to that toxic behavior.   Since he broke my heart, it’s started to hurt again to accept love, but this time around, I force myself to feel it anyway. I don’t let myself self-sabotage as a means of trying to make myself unappealing and broken. These days I just do what is best for me. And I’ll always remember. Maybe he’ll forget what was between us, or maybe he won’t. I need to be okay with either one. I need to be okay with myself.",-0.7267,negative,sentimental
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,listener_2,5,"Yeah, you gotta love yourself! Sounds like you’re on the right path towards healing. Give yourself grace and remember it takes time. It’s not going to be completely better after one try. But you can do it!   Have you thought about seeing a therapist to help out with all this? It sounds like that could be really beneficial for you, if you find the right therapist (you don’t always click with the first one, it’s okay to try a few to make sure it’s the right fit).",0.9783,positive,acknowledging
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,6,Wow this really means a lot kind stranger. I hope we can both heal. :),0.9201,positive,encouraging
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,listener_3,7,Thanks that means  a lot. That's why i joined this sub helping others ends up healing you along the way,0.6249,positive,acknowledging
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,8,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,9,"I’m on therapist #5 right now, and after 3 years of on-off trying to find a good therapist and a year and a half after that actively trying, I think it’s actually gonna work!!! Knock on wood though cuz it’s still new.   Year there’s waaaaaay more stuff I’m gonna need to talk about in therapy cuz I’m a traumatized QUEEN 😂😂  But it’s all a process and every day I grow stronger. I’ll definitely be kinder to myself through that process.",0.9499,positive,hopeful
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,listener_2,10,I’m so glad you found a therapist you like! And that’s you’re on your way to recovery 🥳,0.8264,positive,grateful
837,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with heartbreak.,speaker,11,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
838,MentalHealthSupport,i hate people <3,speaker,1,"okay first of all excuse the typos if I make any, English is not my native lang. Tbh I do not even know where to start from. I am quite motherfuckingly depressed and 8 months pregnant at 18 :) How cool is that. The father of the child got me pregnant intentionally to take revenge of me (he came inside of me two nights in a row the first I implied that I wanted to leave him) and now he wants to take the child away since I decided to give birth and constantly accuses me with not having the potential of being a mom. Btw this guy is 36 and he is planning to take care of the child with his ex gf who is like 50 yrs old. The sad thing is that I really wanted the baby and I lowkey had a crush on this guy. Day by day I learn about some kinda shits that I can not even stomach anymore. Last week I learned that my mother fucked both the father of my child and my ex crush. It turns out that she has been sleeping with my ex crush since last summer. I can not stand her anymore, she physically harmed me and has been mentally abusing me for years. I tried to talk to my granny about this but she did not give a single fuck and told me to respect her no matter what cause she is my mother, lol.  Since no one gave a shit I had to move to my child's father's place which is far away from my home. I could not stand on my own since I could not work because of my pregnancy. Sooo this is all fucked up and shit right? Could it get any worse than this? BOOM MF. Guess what? It has been even worse from the very start than what I thought of all this shit was and I was only aware of just a little spark of it. It turns out that he has been texting all my friends and talking shit about me implying that I am mentally sick and a dangerous person that everyone should stay away from. My mom did the same too, she has been bullying some of ours family friends on social media and she literally told my granny and dad that I was the one who used her accounts to attack people and hurt them. My mom always used to hate me. She used to hurt my cats and kick them on the street without me knowing. She is really tempered and tends to consume alcohol and drugs relentlessly. She somehow finds reasons to bug about me even though I was the one who has been trying to find a job and leave her since I was 16 but whatever. So my family is made of arrogant ignorant under fed piles of flesh and there is a chance of the only thing that I bond my self emotionally with (my baby) being taken away from me. So, any ideas to how to deal with this shit?",-0.998,negative,angry
838,MentalHealthSupport,i hate people <3,listener_1,2,Can you run away to an abuse clinic literally that’s creepy af I know you like the guy who got you pregnant but that’s manipulative to get you pregnant on purpose to get revenge,-0.7543,negative,terrified
838,MentalHealthSupport,i hate people <3,speaker,3,I live in Turkey which is a country that these kind of shit is romanticized. I basically have nowhere to go.,-0.4576,negative,lonely
838,MentalHealthSupport,i hate people <3,speaker,4,I do not know what would happen to my child if I go to an abuse clinic.,-0.6369,negative,terrified
839,MentalHealthSupport,How do i know i have depression?,speaker,1,I often times naturally want to kill myself but im too scared to die. I sometimes think i need help but then i end up convincing myslef that im just being dramatic how do i know?,-0.7003,negative,apprehensive
839,MentalHealthSupport,How do i know i have depression?,listener_1,2,"Depression can be when your feeling down. Like hopeless, nothing matters, or just everything seems less appealing. Sometimes for me the colors of the world seem very dulled and nothing gives me pleasure, even my favorite things to do.   Depression is difficult on anyone and can happen to everyone, no matter your background. The best thing to do is to go to a professional and talk out your current feels.   What it sounds like is something that could be a ""Call to the Void"" or suicidal ideation. Either form can be disturbing and disturb your daily life. If things are increasing than the occasional thought (like that random ""If I turn my wheel I could die potentially"" but dont want to do it- that's a call to the void), it's really advisable to seek professional advice.",-0.8748,negative,apprehensive
839,MentalHealthSupport,How do i know i have depression?,speaker,3,But how did you know to get help? I dont want to ask for help without thinking because i know my home lofe will change dramatically and i dont want that to happen. I also dont want to fall too deep down the rabbit hole without getting help i if do happen to have depression.,-0.4284,negative,questioning
839,MentalHealthSupport,How do i know i have depression?,listener_2,4,"I knew to get help because for a very very long time, I couldn't get help because I didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford it otherwise so i just didn't. I knew something was wrong with me and so when i went to the hospital to establish primary care with my new doctor and I told her about everything I experienced, she determined I was experiencing depression and told me what I needed to do next in terms of therapy as nd medications...I'm not a big fan of the medication but I dont know if I was just being scared of it too much",-0.6917,negative,trusting
839,MentalHealthSupport,How do i know i have depression?,listener_2,5,"Depression is not just wanting to die, it's just not caring about what happens anymore, it's doing nothing because you feel so much you feel nothing, nothing is fun anymore, you're sad all the time, and you just hate existing. I couldn't kill myself, though I do think bout what it would be like from time to to time, I know.i would.never do it because death scares me way too much",-0.9416,negative,sad
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,speaker,1,"All day I haven’t felt apart of me, like my head has fallen off my body and I’ve stayed there with it. I get this sometimes and it’s ok because I can just shake myself out of it (like those everyday trances where your mind wanders). But today I literally am aware that I can’t feel my body and everything around me I am watching through like a glass screen, and I am terrified because I cannot wake myself up. And then I’ll hear a voice whisper my name and it’s the only thing that stirs me.. but this is the freaky part.. no one around me has said my name. I look crazy frantically asking everyone. Please can someone offer advice or explain what this may be.. it feels a bit like sleep paralysis but without the demons and in the day. Anything would be helpful. I can only imagine it being something to do with mental health but I have no other history. Please know I am not exaggerating but every time I try and explain it to others they believe I am making it up",-0.3966,negative,terrified
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,listener_1,2,Sleep more,0.0,neutral,lonely
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,speaker,3,But I sleep fine.. I’ve never had any problems,0.6233,positive,content
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,listener_1,4,"If you're not familiar with it, I'd suggest searching into ""DID"" as it seems similar to what you're describing",0.0,neutral,suggesting
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,speaker,5,Thanks for helping,0.6249,positive,acknowledging
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,speaker,6,"Oh my gosh u are so kind, that would be so helpful if you could!",0.8509,positive,acknowledging
840,MentalHealthSupport,Please help if u can,listener_2,7,Dming right now :),0.4588,positive,annoyed
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,speaker,1,"I’ve been eating less and less for a couple of weeks now. I feel disgusted about how I look, I’m hungry right now, but I’ve lost weight, so I don’t feel like eating. I’m sitting here contemplating if it’s worth feeling hungry if it means that I can look in the mirror without disgust. My mental health overall have been in decline for a while now, and I have always heard that eating disorders are a way to take control of your own life.  Is this just my fucked up mind trying to take back some control? What the hell am I supposed to do?",-0.857,negative,ashamed
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. I know you may think it’s beautiful lot better thin, but not eating is not the way to do it. It hurts you. It’s hard to be beautiful on the outside when you’re hurting yourself on the inside",0.3716,positive,sad
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,speaker,3,"I know this, because I tell the same thing to my girlfriend, but... I don’t know. I never wanted to starve myself. First I just wanted to eat less, because I probably did need to, but I can’t really do anything with moderation. It’s either all or nothing with me",0.4782,positive,guilty
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,speaker,4,"I am going to a cognitive behavioral therapist, and I’ll take it up with her when I see her this Friday. Maybe I can get rid of this before it fully take root.",0.0,neutral,hopeful
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,listener_2,5,"That’s great, it’s best to get help as early as possible.",0.9001,positive,acknowledging
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,listener_1,6,"A lot of it isn’t how much you eat, but what you eat. If you’re eating better stuff, it will be better for you. So don’t eat a ton, but focus on the quality of your food. If you need a snack, try an apple instead of chips. Have a salad with little dressing for a meal (the dressing can have a lot of fat and calories)",0.8271,positive,grateful
841,MentalHealthSupport,I think I’m developing an eating disorder,speaker,7,"Thank you. I have a meeting with my therapist this Friday, so I will take it up with her then",0.3612,positive,hopeful
842,MentalHealthSupport,Need some kindness,speaker,1,"Anyone who goes through my comment history can see that I do my best to be encouraging and uplifting, but I've just been attacked by a mob of people starting with one who twisted my words and the rest who jumped in because they saw that and took issue with my comment because of how this other person twisted it. Enter the critical and attacking responses and downvote avalanche.  I have depression and had a suicide attempt earlier this year. Encouraging and supporting others is how I tackle it, and I'm feeling really shitty because an attempt to do so resulted in such ugliness.  For what it's worth, the comment that got everyone so pissy was effectively""no mother is on top of everything, some just make it look that way, don't think you're not a good mother just because you don't have that illusion."" Somehow that got twisted into me attacking mothers and women in general and saying that having a baby makes people incompetent.  All because my exact words were ""no mother has all her shit together.""  We're real people behind these screens ffs!",-0.9916,negative,angry
842,MentalHealthSupport,Need some kindness,listener_1,2,"i’m just gonna say i appreciate ur kindness, even if it wasn’t directed at me! we all need some kindness in the world , and thank you for doing more than ur fair share! i don’t know the full situation, but you deserve kindness so i hope things get better soon because they will for sure!",0.9748,positive,neutral
842,MentalHealthSupport,Need some kindness,speaker,3,Thank you. I feel better for this. It just really sucks when people get into that pack mode.,0.3832,positive,sympathizing
842,MentalHealthSupport,Need some kindness,speaker,4,"This is true and when it's just one or two I can usually block and move on, but when it's a whole heap of hate I just end up feeling crushed.",-0.8422,negative,sad
842,MentalHealthSupport,Need some kindness,listener_2,5,"I’m very sorry that you had to experience that. People are cruel at times and I’m glad that at least some subreddits exist where they actually enforce rules and keep this kind of bullying from happening. I hope that you can find more and more of those communities and keep thriving, we all need kind souls like you to keep us grounded.",0.2991,positive,sympathizing
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,speaker,1,I don't know where to begin. My mind wants me to talk but won't let me. Can someone give me some parameters or something to help me start? I don't know how this works honestly.,0.8201,positive,apprehensive
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,listener_1,2,"Outline the situation the best you can knowing that this is a supportive and helpful environment, and then pad it out as you go.  We're pretty quick to jump on trolls and bullies here, so you're supported.",0.9322,positive,prepared
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,speaker,3,"Well, as of recent(about 2 months ago) I've been homeless. I'm 19. Been suffering from severe depression, and severe anxiety since I was 7. Bipolar. ADHD. Um, I have abandonment issues, trust issues. It's impossible for me to be with anyone without gaining some sort of feelings. Everything right now is very difficult. I lost a good friend because of some guy she is talking to. It just seems like my whole world will keep crashing down.",-0.8686,negative,lonely
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,listener_1,4,"Damn, that's a lot to be dealing with! No wonder you're looking for support.  I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better but the reality is your situation is difficult and your feelings are valid. All I can offer is my story; I was homeless at 16 and then again at 20, I've been dealing with depression since forever, and I have DID and PTSD. I absolutely understand the effect all of that can have.  That said, I was able to get back up with some help, and I'm now 38 and have one son with another almost due (two weeks until full term), and I have stable housing and income. It seems hopeless at the time but it doesn't have to be. Don't let go of hope.  Do you have any real-world supports at all?",0.3903,positive,agreeing
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,speaker,5,I don't. I've been cut off from my family. All my friends stopped talking me when I lost a place to stay. It's been difficult and it just feels like life is gonna keep kicking me and not let me stand up.,0.1813,positive,sad
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,listener_1,6,"May I ask where you are? Don't need specifics, just country and state will do. It'll help to advise on what's available to you",0.4019,positive,questioning
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,speaker,7,Northern Illinois,0.0,neutral,afraid
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,listener_1,8,Cool. I'll see if we can find anything to help you.,0.6124,positive,acknowledging
843,MentalHealthSupport,New to the sub,listener_1,9,I'm going to send you a DM. I have a contact in Chicago who can help direct you to services.,0.4019,positive,trusting
844,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for Resisting the Urge to return to Toxic People?,speaker,1,"Aight so a little background;  I’m freshly 18 (oct23rd), and when I was 12-13, for nearly 7 months, I was brainwashed by a Pedophile from across the country, who was 19 at the time (he would be 27-28 now.. possibly 29?? Idk.) He fucked over my general sense of morals and ethics, convinced me I was in love with him, intimidated me in ways you can’t imagine.  Then, my mom scared him off and kept me off the internet for nearly a year. That was good for me, to say the very least   Then when I got back online, I started acquired new online friends. My morals were still up in the air, I was becoming progressively more depressed, and I ended up acquiring some really toxic friends, who pushed my morality and ethics further into a spiral. I got involved with Occult witchcraft among other things, and got tutored in Thelemism by yet another pedophile, and when I realized he was toxic, I got involved with another (more dangerous) form of occult witchcraft, where one would theoretically become a werewolf. Stupid, I know, but shockingly enough, most of the magic and mediations involved were real - just not the physical transformation part. (Well, even today I still think that part might’ve been real too. But I’ll never know, I don’t want to know. )   The cult surrounding it has really fucky ethics too.  The friend that got me involved in that particular cult was my age (14, at the time), and she is a medically diagnosed Sociopath. She quite literally doesn’t feel shit for emotions, and she was also being brainwashed by a 17 year old (he’s like 20-something now). She was a fantastic artist, though, and I looked up to her because of that.  She pushed my ethics even further out of my reach; she got off on watching Illegal footage of girls being raped and murdered. I thought if I did the same thing, I would be as good of an artist as she was.   And then All 3 of my Ex’s had something wrong with them in some way, and that made the relationships toxic, and that swayed me too. (#1- Was some toxic, abusive emo kid who thought of women as toys. #2- A sweet boy from California with Schizophrenia, Other personality was extremely violent. Has to leave him because I couldn’t handle his other. #3- Another sweet, caring boy, this time from Mexico. Don’t question me on this, but he was possessed by a demon. Helping him fight through that literally traumatized me for life. It’s not his fault, but nobody believes me. We broke up for other unrelated issues, on mutual and friendly terms.)  So I’ve been spending the remainder of my teenage years healing, learning, and rediscovering human morality. Last year I cut ties with that girl, and this year I’ve been doing a lot more healing  But recently I’ve also felt like something is seriously missing from my life, and every time I get a small taste of what I was going through before, every time I even meet another person like that, I get a serious thrill and I feel like a gap is being filled.   But I know it’s not good for me, I’ll just end up hurt  So... how do I resist the temptation to stick myself back into that situation",-0.9322,negative,terrified
844,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for Resisting the Urge to return to Toxic People?,listener_1,2,"I think everyone is flawed. Some people show it, some people are better at hiding it.",-0.34,negative,sad
844,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for Resisting the Urge to return to Toxic People?,speaker,3,"I can’t stay off the sites bc I have to be online to have my art career, and stay in touch with my actual good friends. But it does lead me to that same temptation I was talking about,  I can’t find anyone or anything in person because I’m barely able to leave the house, for several unrelated reasons",0.4759,positive,guilty
845,MentalHealthSupport,My mental health check journey,speaker,1,People say life is like story that we make for ourselves and each chapter we learn something new. For mental health it is  like going on a train in a dark tunnel and you don't know where the light of it is going to be. Well I started to go into that dark tunnel again and I am going to make sure it is not going to be as long as the last time. We struggle from time to time with our mental health not knowing where to go or who is there for us but at the end of the day if we can take hold of our story its is up to us to make sure we see the bright side before we get stuck in a tunnel whatever it may be for ye.   That is way I have decided to go back into a psychic hospital before my story turns ugly again and I get lost. Please know that ye are not on your own with your journey there is always light at the end its just how to get there is the hard part to write.  We are all here for each other glad to have this sub and always here if anyone is stuck on their story with their mental health. For now I am going to be a fighter within my story and put my well being and emotional state to the test.   Take care everyone.,0.9267,positive,apprehensive
845,MentalHealthSupport,My mental health check journey,listener_1,2,Good luck!,0.7345,positive,wishing
845,MentalHealthSupport,My mental health check journey,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
845,MentalHealthSupport,My mental health check journey,speaker,4,Thanks I hope it won't be for too long just waiting on a bed now.,0.7003,positive,consoling
845,MentalHealthSupport,My mental health check journey,speaker,5,Thanks. :),0.7096,positive,wishing
846,MentalHealthSupport,on feeling unloved,speaker,1,"Hi! I hope everyone is well.   I am a 20/F.. I went off to college in California (from Chicago) but due to mental health reasons I decided it was best to come home. I don't have many friends here, for the past 8 months I have mostly hung out with my parents or stayed in my room.   I was accepted to a university closer to home and am really excited to go because I want to make friends again. I have made a lot of improvements but I feel like the constant isolation isn't doing much for my wellbeing. I get really lonely and depressed at times.   Since I will be living at home for a while longer while continuing to work on my health.. Does anyone have any advice on making friends/feeling loved and less lonely through this process?",0.9288,positive,joyful
846,MentalHealthSupport,on feeling unloved,listener_1,2,"Something I would do is attending a self-help group, you will meet people with similar or even the same problems and can talk openly about it.   Or you could talk to people on here (HEY!) but that's obviously not the same.  Good luck & you're not unloved! 😊",0.672,positive,wishing
846,MentalHealthSupport,on feeling unloved,speaker,3,Hahah Hey! :) I'm gonna look into groups. Thanks for your reply😊,0.9041,positive,wishing
846,MentalHealthSupport,on feeling unloved,speaker,4,hmmm good idea!!,0.5399,positive,acknowledging
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,speaker,1,I am a helper by nature. I know of a girl who is getting abused. I have tried to help her with no avail. How do I let go? How do I just let her suffer in her choices?,-0.644,negative,caring
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,listener_1,2,You have to remember that your mental health is important. It’s not worth ruining your own mental health for her.,0.2201,positive,trusting
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,speaker,3,"Logically I get that. I can’t try to run my self in the ground trying to help but I feel like I have a responsibility to help her. Because I have been her, she is with my ex and I know how he can be. Does that make sense?",0.8248,positive,caring
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,listener_1,4,"You have no responsibility to try and help them. If they drag you down with them, you’ll only bring more people in, and I don’t think you want that to happen",-0.0258,neutral,trusting
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,speaker,5,No I don’t. Thank you. To day has been a lot and it helps to feel like someone understands,0.6597,positive,agreeing
847,MentalHealthSupport,How to let go,listener_1,6,"No problem. If you ever need to talk, PM me :)",0.6437,positive,acknowledging
848,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid law stupid people stupid country,speaker,1, Yesterday I went to school and I saw from the corner of the eye that the city council is organizing a beer fest  I would give everything for a nice pint of warm brown beer  I asked how much are the prices to the secretary and without even letting me finish speaking: NO STUDENTS ALLOWED   Ok no problem is because I’m not 21 I get it i will go home and drink myself to sleep   The next morning came  I open my favorite storage of shitty people.... Snapchat   There were a lot of underage students that night  Why I couldn’t? Why me? I just want to rip my heart out and throw it in the trash can  I was always friendly with them  I gave them everything when I moved out of my old home  And this is the treatment that you give for someone trapped here for a year?  Dead or alive I will go back in italy,0.7759999999999999,positive,angry
848,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid law stupid people stupid country,listener_1,2,What the heck are you on about?,0.0,neutral,questioning
848,MentalHealthSupport,Stupid law stupid people stupid country,speaker,3,Why,0.0,neutral,questioning
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,speaker,1,"For the past year and a half, I have developed a kink. Its called a catfight fetish, two or more women fighting then stripping. I imagine women i know irl fighting, I'm not sure if this is normal maybe I'm going crazy. Could someone explain this to me?",-0.8244,negative,terrified
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_1,2,"Lots of people incorporate people they know into their sexual fantasies, this is normal. If it's unwanted, the name for that would be intrusive thoughts which is a common symptom of anxiety disorders.  A delusion is a fixed, uncompromising belief that isn't true and doesn't fall within cultural norms. You don't sound delusional from your description here, but if you're bothered by what you're experiencing, you may benefit from seeking professional guidance.",-0.1068,negative,apprehensive
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,speaker,3,Can i message you?,0.0,neutral,questioning
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_2,4,"I have this fetish, but I seem to have been born with it. Unsure if a fetish can be brought in mid life.",-0.3612,negative,apprehensive
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,speaker,5,Am I mentally sick though?,-0.5106,negative,questioning
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_3,6,Because you have a sexual fantasy? I wouldn’t say so,0.0,neutral,neutral
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,speaker,7,But aren't all kinks because of something ducked up in your head.,0.0,neutral,neutral
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_3,8,"No, not at all",0.0,neutral,agreeing
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,speaker,9,"There's something else, which I can't say in public",0.0,neutral,embarrassed
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_3,10,Well I can only work with what you give me,0.2732,positive,content
849,MentalHealthSupport,Am I delusional?,listener_3,11,"I don’t think you are born with fetishes. I could be wrong, but I think those develop as your sexuality develops",-0.2617,negative,neutral
850,MentalHealthSupport,I’m very sad today..,speaker,1,"I got another rejected job application. I had the interview Friday but blanked on some questions.  I thought I was smart enough to switch careers & upgrade my life, maybe I just fooled myself.  I’m trying to do this art project too, I was going to finish it today but then I got sad, & sick, so I crashed. In bed all day.  I’m not sure if I’m wasting my life. Nothing feels right anymore. 😢😢 Any tips how to get out of funk?",-0.9774,negative,disappointed
850,MentalHealthSupport,I’m very sad today..,listener_1,2,"Hello there! Let me start off with saying thank you for sharing and thank you for being alive today! It's very strong of you!  Funks are blah, I think we can all agree on that matter. I'm also a freelance artist and failed doing Inktober and actually haven't drawn much since the 5th of Oct. So I can understand the artist life and when you're sad, you dont want to do anything to your piece. Could be lack of motivation or fear of ruining it. For art funk, I've noticed for me anyway, that doodling and sketching a bit to get into a groove helps. It doesnt have to be everyday, I know a lot of YT artists who say that drawing everyday is a great way to get out of a funk but that's not realistic if you're suffering from depression or just not in a great mind set. But sketching when you can, whether it be on a napkin or sketchbook, anything works and could help you in this type of funk.  Jobs... OH BOY THIS! I have been in the same boat for a while now. I'm currently a Janitor at a university.. where my knowledge and skills are set more in an office setting and in a health care setting. I used this job as a foot in the door, 11 months ago. It's been a fight to get into an interview to move into the department I want and I just got an interview tomorrow, finally. The best advice for this is to remind yourself you are NEVER stuck and if something didnt work out, then in hindsight maybe it wouldn't have been the job for you. Whether that be the department or the people, or it could be a toxic environment and you wouldn't know until you got there (say this based on experience). But keep your head up, there is always something that can come around. It just may take some time and that's what I like to look at. Time testing your patience.",0.8681,positive,agreeing
850,MentalHealthSupport,I’m very sad today..,speaker,3,"Thank you for your kind words.  I was in Health Care before, but it was really rough on me. I couldn’t handle all the death. & my co-workers weren’t very nice to me. That’s why I left.  I went back to school for a more intellectual career, but now I’m worried I’m not smart enough. The rest of my family are so smart & successful, I feel like the stupid one.  I’m so sad today, & we have visitors right now. I’m pretending to work but I’m really just sitting in my room waiting for them to leave.",0.7806,positive,grateful
850,MentalHealthSupport,I’m very sad today..,listener_1,4,"No one is unintelligent, it's ok if you're not the same pace as others. Now this takes time to learn. I've been on a sabbatical for 9 months now with Facebook because I felt similar. Not saying you have to do this but your life is YOUR life. No one else's. Dont let anyone persuade you otherwise. Again its going to take time to master this but that's all we have is time. Time that is ours to own. If it takes longer to achieve your goals, that's ok! I rushed into an ALT position in Japan and it really bit me in the butt. People think its amazing I did it but it nearly killed me. I attempted 4 months after I came home. So dont rush, because in the end, time and your own goals govern your life.   Guests are hard, and actually I'm also in my room rn. My husband brought a coworker home while I'm sicker than a dog. But take this time to reflect, make realistic goals that fit your lifestyle. Take a deep breathe, you got this! I believe in you. ❤",0.6351,positive,agreeing
851,MentalHealthSupport,Trintellix,speaker,1,The commercial spoke to me  The side affects sound scary,-0.4939,negative,apprehensive
851,MentalHealthSupport,Trintellix,listener_1,2,"I tried it. For about 4 days, then the vomiting was so bad, my doctor told me to stop. It did help my depression though, even though I just started it.",-0.8267,negative,disappointed
851,MentalHealthSupport,Trintellix,speaker,3,With my stomach  I probably won’t be able to take that.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
851,MentalHealthSupport,Trintellix,speaker,4,I’ll discuss w my doctor on Wednesday  Thank you,0.3612,positive,hopeful
851,MentalHealthSupport,Trintellix,listener_2,5,Any time! Gotta support each other or it's all for naught anyway. Ya know?,0.4574,positive,angry
852,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling not needed,speaker,1,"I dont know if this is the right place but I better do this before I sleep. Its been about a year since my bipolar 1 diagnosis and I honestly feel alone. I have friends but I would like to have an so. I honestly feel while being bipolar that it just makes my weird personality worse especially with mood swings. I understand I am awkward. Now I go back and forth with self hate due to the bipolar. Im down to one med and thats the sleep aid / antipsychotic. Finding somone is hard for me. I  just want to give up on it all. This has all messed me up.  Now matter what I do with a group I still go home feeling empty. I just want love and for me its hard to find. I feel bipolar has made it a challenge especially with the stigma. It has messed up my grad requirements (high school) I have an IEP. This will all change in the morning, I'll have a different mood, and thats how ive been coping with hard times. If I've had a rough day I just sleep and hope tomorrow is better. I guess I just want to feel needed in the end. I've been needing to vent this for a bit, thanks y'all.",0.9549,positive,lonely
852,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling not needed,listener_1,2,"Honestly man, I understand some of what you mean. I’m in high school too(senior) I’m not diagnosed with anything so believe me or not whatever, I’m always having trouble with my mental health and it’s been like this since as far back as I can remember and with more school and working life has just been a roller coaster but the only thing that get’s me out of bed everyday is just, knowing that I have to be better and make others happier, I’ve been really leaning on my one best friend and my last year teacher. My teacher has been the most help since we’ve started to just email each other, but anyways I just think you should find one person(doesn’t matter who) and just lean on them",0.979,positive,faithful
852,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling not needed,speaker,3,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
853,MentalHealthSupport,Life ain’t “great”,speaker,1,"Today hasn’t been a great day. Actually, a lot of days lately haven’t been “great.” There’s nothing wrong in my life. I have a great family, great friends, a great job. Until recently, I have loved everything about my life. But now I’m finding myself unsatisfied. Since I can remember, I’ve always been working towards something. Whether it be graduating high school, graduating college, getting a good job, moving out of my parents, becoming an adult. Now I have everything I could ever ask for. I always thought that after I got my life together, I would be happy forever. And for a while I was satisfied. But now everything just seems bland. The things that used to bring me such joy aren’t anymore. I’m seen as the “happy go lucky” friend. I’m always helping the people around me find the good in the bad. But the advice that I give to my friends doesn’t ring true to me anymore. I don’t want them to know how I’ve been feeling. And I’m frustrated because there is no reason why I shouldn’t be happy. I keep having this feeling of “is this all that life has to offer?” And I don’t want to die, I just want life to feel brand new again?? Idk. Does/has anyone else ever felt like this? What did you do to help overcome this way of thinking?? I’m new to this app and I’m not quite sure how to use it.. just thought this would be a good place to get all of my thoughts out of my head. Thank you in advance to anyone who pays attention to my rant :)",0.9947,positive,disappointed
853,MentalHealthSupport,Life ain’t “great”,listener_1,2,If you have every thing that you need but you still are not satisfied with your life or need to be fighting towards a goal to be happy may I suggest looking at the needs of of others? They're many easily attainable goals out there just looking for someone willing to work on them and I am sure that there are some out there with your name on them. Enough to keep you happy and satisfied indefinitely. Consider it.It's better than boredom and depression.,0.8873,positive,suggesting
853,MentalHealthSupport,Life ain’t “great”,speaker,3,"I work as a nurse right now, so I’m constantly taking care of others. Maybe I should look into volunteer options near me and see if anything catches my eye. Thanks!",0.75,positive,suggesting
853,MentalHealthSupport,Life ain’t “great”,speaker,4,I will definitely check it out! Thank you!!,0.7249,positive,agreeing
854,MentalHealthSupport,Why aren’t there more resources for help,speaker,1,And how can we change that,0.0,neutral,questioning
854,MentalHealthSupport,Why aren’t there more resources for help,listener_1,2,"In my area I've thought about setting up a support group for depression, anxiety, and suicide strugglers/survivors. I think the hardest part tho is finding professionals willing to not get paid and do things like support groups as a charity thing. The only support group that's offered in at my  area is the local university and that's because students pay them via tuition and unfortunately you have to be a student. It's not open to the public.",-0.0772,negative,apprehensive
854,MentalHealthSupport,Why aren’t there more resources for help,speaker,3,I agree. Me too.  I was thinking perhaps a YouTube channel,0.3612,positive,agreeing
855,MentalHealthSupport,Although I’m wide awake ... I had the best mental health day!,speaker,1,Yesterday was awful but a dear friend helped me. Today I went to the gym and had an amazing therapy session.  I’m so grateful and I know it’s right now.  Right now   Thank you and goodnight 💤,0.962,positive,grateful
855,MentalHealthSupport,Although I’m wide awake ... I had the best mental health day!,listener_1,2,sleep well. I hope this will happen more often!,0.6476,positive,encouraging
855,MentalHealthSupport,Although I’m wide awake ... I had the best mental health day!,speaker,3,Me too.  I am cherishing the moment,0.4588,positive,agreeing
855,MentalHealthSupport,Although I’m wide awake ... I had the best mental health day!,speaker,4,That’s a great idea ... thank you!,0.784,positive,acknowledging
856,MentalHealthSupport,"In a rough but immediate family relationship, how do you know if you’re right or wrong? Or how do you even go about it?",speaker,1,"My sister is good but she has bad habits. She’s always very annoyed to see me or we don’t get along. For example we shared a room our whole lives bc it just fit that way, but this summer twice has she said she wants space away from me even though I only saw her for going to bed and waking up. So I moved to the basement, and had to move again because of other reasons. She also said she was nervous she treated me like her toxic friend treats her. On top of that, just this week, she asked to talk and I’ll admit I was wrong to ask her to talk later and it might’ve brushed her off because I wanted to hang with someone who made me happy but she’s been mad for a whole week about it. Like I’m sorry I forgot, we both have busy jobs. We just had a fight about it, but we’ve never gotten along. I’m tired of being yelled at by her, and she won’t admit she hates me. She just says don’t be so defensive, people have it worse, you need to grow up. So, is it possible I’m wrong  and she doesn’t hate me? Is it worth just listening to her once again?",-0.9443,negative,annoyed
856,MentalHealthSupport,"In a rough but immediate family relationship, how do you know if you’re right or wrong? Or how do you even go about it?",listener_1,2,"Hey, I don't think you are in the wrong.On the other hand your sisters behaviour could be her way of dealing with problems in her own life.Some people find a scapegoat and use them to vent or blame them for all their problems and it makes them feel better. Maybe she is stressed about work, trouble in her relationship etc. Could be a lot of things.It doesn't mean she hates you though.You guys might just be too different in your personalities to get along.Try to give her another chance and tell her that you care about her and you want to get along and are willing to work on problems you have with her.Ask her if maybe she is having a tough time and offer to listen to her.Try to rebuild trust between you and her and hopefully things will improve.I wish you the best.Take care.",0.7967,positive,suggesting
856,MentalHealthSupport,"In a rough but immediate family relationship, how do you know if you’re right or wrong? Or how do you even go about it?",speaker,3,"Thank you hound mama I really appreciate it, it helps to understand her side",0.7959999999999999,positive,grateful
857,MentalHealthSupport,Do you doodle when anxious?,speaker,1,"I had a deeply painful episode a while back. It was so strong yet so beautiful to just pull myself out of it. I used to paint as a child. Whatever came into my mind. It started off with drawing on the walls to drawing houses to national competitions and not winning all the time but with a few acknowledgedments here and there. I drew, that's the point. I was content, peaceful and yet craved for changes. I somehow stopped everything during the final years of my bachelors degree and hit a low point in life. I still don't know what triggered it but I got into an intimate friendship and that grew toxic and that helped me live for a while. I seemed to be happy but I didn't really grow out of it. From having a bunch of friends in teens I came down to having 2 or 3. From partying every weekend it came down to between the 4 walls weekends. From going to theaters it became way too many episodes of name whatever on Netflix. And I am not proud of it. But today I pulled myself out again. And I doodled again. It was so painful yet so beautiful. I no longer felt bad for myself, I didn't feel the urge to confide in a single soul but I took my pen, felt a heavy sensation gripping inside my throat and stomach, with my freezing limbs, I still doodled. I gulped down that emotion and channeled it into a small doodle. It felt good and I thought I'll share this. Do you vibe with this? I hope I'm not alone.",0.9657,positive,sad
857,MentalHealthSupport,Do you doodle when anxious?,listener_1,2,I totally get it. I use my guitar to calm down when anxious and as a distraction from negative or unwanted thoughts. That being said though (talking from purely anecdotal experience) I found that the first step to actually solving the problems I had was talking to someone about it.,-0.802,negative,agreeing
857,MentalHealthSupport,Do you doodle when anxious?,speaker,3,"What about when you cannot really afford therapy and your university doesn't provide more than 3 free sessions? The best of my friends has, I believe, taken it for granted that I feel these things and seen me go through it but with time it seems less intense to her. That's probably why this is even my first post in here.",0.7538,positive,jealous
857,MentalHealthSupport,Do you doodle when anxious?,listener_1,4,"I'm not gonna pretend it was easy for me to talk to someone, but at the end of the day your friends will care about your problems, and the hardest part was accepting that they do care",0.9403,positive,neutral
857,MentalHealthSupport,Do you doodle when anxious?,speaker,5,Thanks for the last point!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
858,MentalHealthSupport,Am i to blame?,speaker,1,"Okay, i try to make this brief.I am in a relationship that has a big age gap between us.I m much younger than him.We had a fight over leaving the door open at night( so the cats can come in and out) His solution was to put them in the room their food and litterboxes are.I did not like the idea of conf8ning my cats to one room, so i said i pl keep themvwith me and close the door all night.Naturally they may have to use the litterbox, but my cats are smart and will make noise to wake you up.So i don't think there would be any accidents.Things got heated because the electric bill is going up and he is sure it is from using the heat.Therefore he wanyts doors shut.Reasonable request, right? Well, i simply objected to leave my cats by themselves in another room because i feel it is like neglect.He got pissed off at me and told me so.I stood by my statement so things escalated and he screamed at me.Was really angry, kicked the door, hit a wall and made the dog shiver in fear. Then he pushed his fingers really hard against my chest and then my head.I know i sound like a whimp, since it wasn't like he punched me or anything.It was pretty rough though and hurt long after it happened.He apologized to me after i told him he hurt me. Am i in the wrong here? Did i cause his anger to escalate by sticking to my ""guns"" when he told me he is getting pissed off? Any advice? Please help.   In case you are wondering: There is no  option of leaving.I simply cannot afford it and it is difficult to rent since i own a very large dog and most places have size or weight limits on dogs now.",-0.9834,negative,annoyed
858,MentalHealthSupport,Am i to blame?,listener_1,2,"He hurt you because he wanted to win an argument and only apologized after you said something about it. This is serious. If he only shows remorse once you say something about it, it is likely insincere and his apology served only to placate you.  Furthermore, no matter how angry somebody is, that never gives them an excuse to hurt their partner. Everybody is in control of their own actions--you didn't ""make"" him do anything, he chose to do what he did, and describing it in any other way is falsely removing the blame from him. It's not your responsibility to avoid making him angry--he needs to be in control of his own emotions and handle them like a civilized adult. Good on you for sticking to your guns, honestly. Letting him control you will only lead to an endless cycle of walking on eggshells.  I think that deep down inside, you know what you need to do. If you are looking for validation, this is it. Nothing about this will ever change until you change it. Maybe it will require reassessing your expenses and moving things around. Maybe it will require taking that 10% of your pay and squirreling it away into an emergency fund each month. Either way, you have to be proactive. Do it for your future self. If things are really, really tight, there are resources that help women escape dangerous relationships if it ever comes to that. I hope it doesn't--but know that is always an option.  Unless he was absolutely horrified by what he did to you, he will do it again. Unless he recognizes that his actions weren't justified no matter how angry he was, he will act that way again. It will always be different excuses, he will always try to paint you as at least partially responsible so you're guilted into staying. Manipulation, gaslighting, violence, it's all abuse. Unless he makes the decision **on his own** to change, he will not.",-0.9681,negative,angry
858,MentalHealthSupport,Am i to blame?,listener_2,3,You’re not the blame even his dog was trembling the dog gets it... go home to family if you can he sounds dangerous,-0.552,negative,terrified
858,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_3,1,"I'm new here and I don't know what to start with. When I was a child I had this issue I'm nearing 20 now and this issue is getting worse and I feel its affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. I've never liked groups of people and I've always avoided them now I work at a Walmart and I'm around large crowds and I feel paranoid and ashamed. Another issue I'm having is I feel like I'm an awful person for no reason like I have guilt for small things even when someone does me wrong I feel it's my fault and i hate myself for it some from my own family my (step) father when agitated will ridicule me by calling me a mistake or useless and it makes me think i don't have worth about me. My girlfriend has a sister who is married and that family ridicules me for the things I'm into ( horror, true crime, etc) and doesn't help either it adds to what my dad says. I'm scared about my girlfriend leaving me for these reasons because when I talk about it she doesn't understand me but she tries to act supportive she helped me get a therapist appointment later next month.  I'm asking am I doing the right thing or am I just being stupid (asked another subreddit incase you see this twice)",-0.98,negative,ashamed
858,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_4,2,"Are you doing the right thing seeking therapy? Yes.   Also, I LOVE true crime and the paranormal (not so much horror per se). But what you enjoy is what you enjoy. My husband and kid tease me (in a sweet way) because when I go to watch or read something they're like ""Which is it--Crime, ghost, serial killer, or a ghostly serial killer who commits a crime?"" Ahahaha!  If you want to try something that's free, online, and private you can try this: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org). Helped me out.   Oh, and I hate crowds. I'm introverted by nature and working customer service almost killed me.   It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you except that you're judging yourself unkindly and you're surrounded by assholes (with the exception of your girlfriend).   You are NOT a mistake. You are wanted, worthy of love, you belong, and are enough just the way you are. <3",-0.8861,negative,afraid
858,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_3,3,Thank you And you're right she is great,0.765,positive,agreeing
858,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_4,4,You're welcome! :),0.7424,positive,wishing
858,MentalHealthSupport,Please help,listener_3,5,Thank you I appreciate it,0.6369,positive,sympathizing
859,MentalHealthSupport,A Fresh Start,speaker,1,"I (23M) had my first counseling session today. I’m going through a tough time personally and it feels like there isnt anything I can do to escape the maze that my head has become. My wife of what I pray will be 3 years in June and I are struggling to figure things out. We’ve had some pretty bad arguments and fights on the past. Some that most people would think we are crazy for going back to each other. We had one about 3 weeks ago in the midst of moving and so were staying apart some nights and trying to rebuild things. She’s in her last semester of college and she graduates in two weeks, so her schedule is hectic and she’s stressing a lot. To the point where she’s not talking to me or refusing to talk to me for days at a time. We’ve had trust issues in the past. But I don’t find my self anxious or worried about things like this. I just worry that this might be the end of the relationship and I’m not really sure how to move forward. I keep finding myself sitting in a room trapped in my thoughts. My therapist suggested today that I get back in to routine of doing things that I may have lost interest in. I took her advice and went out and played basketball with my cousin for about an hour and a half. But after 45 minutes or so I found myself fighting my brain and anxiety. I tried to cope as long as I could but it just got too much and I went home. What are some tips to making it minute by minute? Because i find that part the most difficult. And if anyone has any advice on coping with the possible end of a long term relationship. This is all kind of new to me, so any help would be greatly appreciated.",-0.8735,negative,devastated
859,MentalHealthSupport,A Fresh Start,listener_1,2,Oh I’ve been there would you like to talk about it?,0.3612,positive,questioning
859,MentalHealthSupport,A Fresh Start,speaker,3,I would appreciate that!,0.4574,positive,acknowledging
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,1,"He’s become a bully  he’ll be 21 soon , might be time to move out.    This he took as me throwing him out -  so extreme   I think he’s depressed but he’s mean and attempts to make me a door mat , I’m not having it   Just because you have a child, doesn’t guarantee that you will enjoy each other’s company   I no longer enjoy being around Him.   Sad to say but I’ll Be happy when he moves out",-0.2003,negative,angry
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_1,2,"I might suggest showing him the water bill. If he doesn’t care, remind him that living on his own is the water bill + rent.",0.4939,positive,suggesting
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,3,When you hear someone say THEY DONT CARE ... over and over and over ... you begin to believe them.,-0.4889,negative,trusting
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_2,4,That will assuredly drive a further wedge between them.,0.3818,positive,agreeing
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,5,One Sunday I woke up to the smell of weed He knew i was home He said it’s not weed it’s CBD oil sold in a stick  I told him i don’t want any of it in my house  He says it’s not the same as weed.   I will find out what it is when I talk to my doctor tomorrow,0.0772,positive,disgusted
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_1,6,"That’s the idea. If he doesn’t like it, he can live on his own.",0.3612,positive,suggesting
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_2,7,Right and for a parent to treat a child like that is some 1900s nonsense. Parents should be stronger and smarter not throw a tantrum and threaten their kid.,0.7803,positive,angry
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_2,8,Cannabis is the most helpful wonderful non-negative thing that’s ever come into my life. I urge you to learn more and try to understand how and why it’s helping him. CBD has no “high” and is can be extremely helpful.,0.8797,positive,impressed
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_3,9,CBD tends to be a hemp based product and doesn’t give a traditional “high”. CBD has many benefits without the psychoactive effects. That being said CBD and THC (traditional weed or marijuana) oil are going to look and smell pretty much the same.,0.7003,positive,neutral
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,10,He won’t even go to his regular doctor for his physical  When he was younger he was diagnosed with ODD  I thought he would grow out of it   I feel like a prisoner - but I won’t for long because I’ll move.   I’m not going to let him give me high blood pressure,-0.6504,negative,trusting
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_4,11,No one grows out of a mental health issue without doing any work- yourself included.,-0.29600000000000004,negative,agreeing
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,listener_5,12,"Make it clear that you want to him to seek help so he can be happy again, that you care about his well being even if he doesn't. If he argues, let it go for a bit and try again later. Maybe he will think about it and come around to the idea.",0.9411,positive,questioning
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,13,Thank you  That’s interesting about the OCD 90% of the time I’m biting my tongue  and limiting what I say  It’s been so bad that I have now grind my teeth down - and some morning I wake up biting my mouth  It doesn’t matter what I say   If I can get him in for his physical  I can alert the doctor before his appointment  - he’s 20 so I don’t go with him Maybe she can see where his head is at   My therapist thinks he’s angry because he couldn’t go back to school due to poor grades   I don’t know   I’m tired He didn’t come home  Nor did he have the courtesy to let me know,-0.6995,negative,ashamed
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,14,I said he should find out what’s causing the back pain not just take someone for the pain and not know what’s causing it - he’s 20,-0.765,negative,suggesting
860,MentalHealthSupport,My son takes 3-4 showers a day each shower is more than an hour - he works 2 hours a day - he’s always angry (at me ) he comes home and my anxiety increases,speaker,15,He said he’s using it for back pain,-0.5106,negative,apprehensive
861,MentalHealthSupport,How can I help my boyfriend?,speaker,1,"I’m not sure where to start or where to begin, my boyfriend struggles with anxiety and has been getting panic attacks more recently, whenever this happens I worry if I’m doing enough or even helping him. I say to him take a deep breath and it’s going to be ok we don’t get to see each other a-lot so this is mostly over the phone.  How can I help my boyfriend when he is going though things like this. His workplace makes it no better being in crowded places and these weeks ahead Black Friday, I do my best to calm him down and push through the day.  I’m sorry if this is all bad grammar and all but he suggested I come to this page and speak my mind.I got nervous because I’ve never posted before but I hope it’s ok.",-0.124,negative,caring
861,MentalHealthSupport,How can I help my boyfriend?,listener_1,2,"If i had to say a therapist appointemnt is advised as it would help him, also if you know what kind of anxiety he has and if you can tell me that would be much appreciated. Right now i think a therapist appointemnt would be a good choice.  I hope this helped and wish you two the best",0.9494,positive,wishing
861,MentalHealthSupport,How can I help my boyfriend?,speaker,3,Thank you very much for all of this!,0.4199,positive,wishing
862,MentalHealthSupport,My social life did an oopsie,speaker,1,"(Repost from r/vent)  For context ,I am 15, living in Romania (remember this detail it plays a big part in this story).  After the living hell that were the past two years. When I started high school, it felt like I finally got my shit together, I had a lot of friends,my grades were amazing(even more impressing to myself since I only got 6 and 7 (I think the American equivalent to that is like C or something)), I was in my first real life relationship (even though I regret it now) and it was honestly going amazing. I am FTM and stuff was better for me, I had actually started loving myself in a way, but that didn't last for two long, since I had to reverse all the progress I made with my transition. I grew out my hair again, started doing my makeup again and to my disgust, started to dress girly. And this was all from peer pressure and my mom. I love my mom, knowing I am trans would break her heart. She saw I started to dress more like a man ever since I found out I was trans, and she really pressured me to dress more girly and stuff. I really really care about her, she's had enough of my shit in the past few years and I don't think I could do this to her. As for peer pressure. Don't get me wrong I am not the type to do stuff to pleasure others, but , I do live in Romania. People here, gen Z kids more or less, are not really open to the idea of being trans. Most teens here these days have nothing against you if you're gay,bi,ace or whatever, actually I'm out on that part to literally everyone I know, and they're really chill about it.   And now to the main action. My now ex-girlfriend and I, had this group of friends with another trans dude from my school ( that is now her boyfriend, yeah nice I know, they got together as soon as she broke up with me). And because of them,I made a lot of friends with their friends, which some of happened to be in the same situation as me. They knew I was trans. My girlfriend back then and our friend knew too. But they weren't my only group of friends so for that reason I couldn't be the real me around the others, only with them. And they saw that as fakeness for some reason.  Then  They both began being assholes. So after a while of putting up with their shit I called em out on it. And them,and aaaaalllll of their friends that aren't even my friends anymore, just kind of started pointing out stuff about me, and basically just mentally tormenting me on a daily basis.  I said I didn't want to argue but they continued. So people hated me when I tried my best to be the best of friends, so I became and absolute asshole for them to actually have a reason to hate me. Also for context,I am not the best looking person ever(see pfp if ya want),so my confidence is very low,no matter how I dress. So ever since I stopped talking to them(one or two weeks ago) the girly stuff started to happen,because I started to stay with only the other friends. And they (ex and co)started gatekeeping the entire trans thing even though I explained the whole situation to them. Now I don't even know who I am anymore. I never fit in with the girls, I started not fitting in with the guys anymore, I don't even fit in with the trans. What the fuck am I supposed to do,I am alone, and losing all of my remaining friends constantly. The amount of hate I get really just makes me think I am never good enough for anything, not even for living.  On another note,I realised something from this whole thing. I have this one friend. We don't talk a lot but we get along pretty well. He's my literature buddy. He told me he doesn't message people unless they message him first,or even initiate human contact in any way. Because he'd rather read than get stuck in this weird vicious circle of a social life. And now I really feel what he was saying. I was extremely stubborn to want to have an ample social life, when my mental health is certainly decreasing as days go by. I am afraid I'll become an outcast if I transition now,because that's what happened to all the trans people here I know. Wether I do it or not now, I think I'll become one either way. I am sorry for waisting your time with the chaotic hellhole of a post if you actually read it all, I just had to get this whole thing off my mind.",0.9825,positive,proud
862,MentalHealthSupport,My social life did an oopsie,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. I’m sorry I’m bad at advice and wish I could help more, but what I do know is that you can’t be an ass to the people who hate you. All that will happen is that others around you will see how you act and see their reaction as justified, and more likely than not join them",-0.8009999999999999,negative,sympathizing
862,MentalHealthSupport,My social life did an oopsie,speaker,3,Thanks a lot for taking your time to help though! Thing is  I've been playing the nice guy for a while  And they just said I was playing the victim And by an ass I don't mean I'm like Full on swearing at them or whatever  Just a LOT of sarcasm and ignoring/avoiding convos with them  Maybe an indirect insult here and there I forgot to mention that,-0.4943,negative,acknowledging
862,MentalHealthSupport,My social life did an oopsie,listener_1,4,"Don’t play victim, but treat everyone with respect. Ignoring and avoiding convos is a good method for sure, but maybe cut back on the sarcasm and indirect insults",0.0772,positive,suggesting
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,speaker,1,"I’m worried about my teenager. I’ve been worried for a little while now. She doesn’t ever eat dinner. She has dropped a lot of weight in the last few months and in the last couple has had episodes of dizziness and passing out. This morning she passed out at her BDs house and called me to come get her. It’s hard to keep an eye on her full time with eating bc we have split custody and I only have her 2 weeks out of the month.   I don’t like people commenting on my weight so I’m trying to be sensitive with this, but I am concerned to point of harassing her to eat a piece of chicken. She swears there isn’t a problem, but would she tell me if there was?  Thing is, she eats... just she eats sporadically and it’s always snack and junk food more than anything.   What were/are the signs you wish someone would have seen? What signs as a friend or family member did you miss?",-0.3899,negative,anxious
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,listener_1,2,Did u try taking her to the doctor?,0.0,neutral,questioning
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,speaker,3,She has an appointment set up for early next week. I made it this morning after she passed out.,0.0,neutral,prepared
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,speaker,4,Thank you so much for all of this info. I really appreciate it.,0.6697,positive,sympathizing
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,listener_2,5,"Absolutely! And bear in mind as well, if it turns out that’s not the case, You should also look into the fact that your daughter has experienced something traumatic and is not telling anyone.  When I was going through the height of my PTSD I could barely get out of bed, let alone prop myself up for an entire meal. I lost a ton of weight and got most of my nourishment from Trolli sour worms, because they were sweet enough that I didn’t gag at the thought of putting one in my mouth. I would pass out during panic attacks from hyperventilation. Depression and anxiety take many ugly forms, and facing them as a 15/16 year old is NOT easy.",-0.9678,negative,agreeing
863,MentalHealthSupport,What were the signs of an eating disorder you wish someone would have picked up on?,speaker,6,"She was molested when she was 6. That’s why I’m more worried about this being a mental illness than a physical illness. I really try to stay vigilant about stuff like this, just from personal experience. I’m sorry you suffer from ptsd. I know just how debilitating it is. I hope your days get brighter in time. Thanks for all the support.",-0.0754,negative,caring
864,MentalHealthSupport,Happy Thanksgiving 🍁,speaker,1,"May we all take time for ourselves today to pause, take a breath and write down 3 things we are thankful for!",0.6114,positive,grateful
864,MentalHealthSupport,Happy Thanksgiving 🍁,listener_1,2,1. My life 2. My mind 3. Our Earth,0.0,neutral,hopeful
864,MentalHealthSupport,Happy Thanksgiving 🍁,speaker,3,Yes!!  😊,0.8513,positive,agreeing
864,MentalHealthSupport,Happy Thanksgiving 🍁,speaker,4,Beautiful!,0.636,positive,acknowledging
865,MentalHealthSupport,"I want to give up, but I promised someone else I wouldn't.",speaker,1,"I hate my face, my body, my voice, my mind. I was only born because my parents wanted a boy, what would they say if they knew they didnt get one, what would they say if they knew that they gave birth to a girl? My grandma says ""all queers and all dandies are evil"" and think my friend is upset at me because I told her about how I feel about myself. I fell like theres nobody I can safely talk to anymore, people keep using me, hurting me, and trying to force themselves on me. Why is everything so complicated, why is life so complicated? I'm 16 and all I can think about is how much of a failure I am, I'm 16 closeted mtf living in a small rural town, I'm failing half my classes, I'm half way through highschool, I'm the president of a dying club, full of stoners, nerds, and queers. And I love them, they are the best most kind people I've met, but I'll never succeed like they will, they are at least passing, they understand what to do. But what the fuck am I? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to care about myself? Why do these people care about me? They're not supposed to, these are the first decent people I've met and I can barely open up to a few of them. I wanna be far from here, I wanna drift across the world, not giving a shit. I wanna give up, but those nerds, those stoners, those queers, they are my people. Those people are the only decent thing in my life, and I would rather keep them. I dont know how to write for anyone but myself, so it's kinda whatever.",0.3677,positive,ashamed
865,MentalHealthSupport,"I want to give up, but I promised someone else I wouldn't.",listener_1,2,Hi. Sorry your family are not supportive of you and honestly it sounds so hard. I have not been in your position so I can not tell you how to get through it. I just wanted you to know that there are people who will accept you for you. The world is a big place and there are places that you will be welcome. It sounds like the people in your club might be some of those people.  The only thing I might suggest is finding a therapist who has worked with lbgt clients. This may be hard to do as a teen. Could you tell your family you think you have depression and access help that way? Sorry I cant be more help. I really hope you find your peeps soon.,0.7239,positive,sympathizing
865,MentalHealthSupport,"I want to give up, but I promised someone else I wouldn't.",speaker,3,"I talked to my school counselor, they're supposed to have a therapist come in for me soon. I never want to talk with my parents about these issues, everytime I try they just tell me I have to be happier, they tell me I have to trust that the lord jesus will make things better. But fuck that, I'm sick of this jesus bullshit, they keep using it on me. Like that's all that matters to them, jesus, not me, not my sister. I'll talk to the therapist some time next week. And thank you",-0.6768,negative,angry
865,MentalHealthSupport,"I want to give up, but I promised someone else I wouldn't.",listener_1,4,"Im glad you have someone to talk to. I find having someone outside of my everyday life to talk to is nice because it gives you a chance to say things you couldnt say to friends. I am not religious myself (nor is my family) but I went to an christian school. The thing that I learnt about jesus was that he treated everyone with love and kindness regardless of who they are. It blows my mind that people use his name without showing that same love and kindness. Anyway, I really hope your therapist will be helpful for you.",0.9864,positive,grateful
866,MentalHealthSupport,Dear Anxiety - Please let me go out tonight,speaker,1,I am not sick My stomach feels okay  I will not be sick  I will be calm  I am breathing the breath for calmness,0.8835,positive,content
866,MentalHealthSupport,Dear Anxiety - Please let me go out tonight,listener_1,2,"Hey man. Anxiety sucks, I understand. It’s important to recognize when your anxious, and take time to calm down. I personally listen to guided meditations on youtube, they do wonders. I highly recommend Jason Stephenson.",0.1761,positive,agreeing
866,MentalHealthSupport,Dear Anxiety - Please let me go out tonight,speaker,3,Thank you!  I’m not familiar with him. I managed to pull it together and go out  and even had an encounter with a nice bus driver . Made me calm down   I will check out his YouTube  Thank you,0.8553,positive,grateful
866,MentalHealthSupport,Dear Anxiety - Please let me go out tonight,speaker,4,Thank you kind stranger.   I am so grateful to have found this page. It has helped me tremendously.   Thank you for the link too!   I guess the upside is - these attacks are way better than the panic attacks i used to have.   I feel like two people.  Going to listen to the link you sent  Thank you again,0.8922,positive,grateful
866,MentalHealthSupport,Dear Anxiety - Please let me go out tonight,listener_2,5,"You’re found great, as I can see from your last comment! Keep trying. Seems like you made some progress already and you’ll only get stronger.",0.906,positive,acknowledging
867,MentalHealthSupport,what do I do,speaker,1,"I keep having irrational intrusive murderous thoughts mostly directed at my parents and I don't know what to do about them, I keep conjuring up rationalizations uncontrollably and everything I try to do to keep my mind off of them backfires. I have had these for awhile but they are harder to fight now   my mom thinks its because of the anesthesia I recently took to get my wisdom teeth out, I don't know what it is but I hope its that so I know its temporary  I want to seek therapy but my mom wasn't able to get an appointment, I really hope this ends okay I just want her to be safe. I don't know what is wrong with me or what to do and im so scared, please help me.",0.9192,positive,terrified
867,MentalHealthSupport,what do I do,listener_1,2,"Go to the emergency room. Go now. If you don’t have away to get there, call an ambulance.  Go before something happens that you’ll regret. Please, go",-0.4767,negative,terrified
867,MentalHealthSupport,what do I do,speaker,3,"thanks but i think I'm better now, i keep asking to go but she keeps saying no  edit: are you sure its that bad though, i hope it isn't that bad, i looked things up and a lot of my symptoms match with severe OCD which would mean that im not actually that dangerous. why do you think its that dire from what i told you",0.5798,positive,neutral
868,MentalHealthSupport,OCD issues,speaker,1,"So, i'm a 16 year old male with a LOT of mental disorders, i'm talking about Tourettes, OCD, ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression. About four months ago I got into a relationship with someone I really cared about. (we'll call her Brie) The first two months were AMAZING! and around the three month mark my OCD started to come in and I would always think that she didn't like me anymore, and I couldn't keep myself from calling her, even when she was busy. You could say I was really clingy. So fast-forward about a month (two months earlier from now) Brie decides to end our relationship because of both of our mental health issues. I was devastated, and that's when my OCD got even worse. You thought I couldn't get her out of my mind when I was dating her, well now she's in my mind 24/7. So now, every time I think about her which I would say happens almost 3 times every hour, my mind is filled with thoughts of sorrow. I've tried everything to try and get her out of my mind, (video games, hanging out with friends, books etc.) and I still can't get her out of my mind. At this point, I don't know what to do. I know I didn't do anything wrong during the relationship and I know i'm and okay person but now I just can't get her out of my mind. What do i do?",-0.1672,negative,terrified
868,MentalHealthSupport,OCD issues,listener_1,2,"I suffer from those things too, they can be a curse , I have been seeing a therapist which has greatly helped, he helped me see that OCD gives us a sort of “distorted glasses” to see the world, our thoughts and feelings may convince us of a “reality” ( people don’t like us etc) when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth,  we believe in lies because they are so convincing , you need to cut yourself some slack  I would recommend you see a therapist too alongside a great book on cbt (cognitive behavior therapy) called feeling good , it’s a great book that gives us exercises to do designed for help us beat our fake reality while shaping our mind and thoughts to be more positive   I know you may hear this a lot but you are still very young,  if you take nothing else from this post please take this:  believe me when I tell you there is a very very lucky lady out there for you somewhere and ONLY when the time is exactly right, you both will cross paths , trust me   Hope this helps and stay awesome my friend :)",0.9924,positive,agreeing
868,MentalHealthSupport,OCD issues,speaker,3,"This really means a lot, thank you for responding.",0.3612,positive,wishing
868,MentalHealthSupport,OCD issues,listener_1,4,Always Happy to help someone who was in my position,0.7506,positive,grateful
869,MentalHealthSupport,smoked a bunch with this one dude and now he isn't talking to me,speaker,1,"There is this dude who's sorta into me and he wanted to hang out with me for a while. Finally the opportunity came and I got high for the first time with him. I got a lil overemotional and weird when I was high. He hasn't talked to me since then , it's been 2 days. He's usually alot more talkative. Now I'm just beginning to think that noone except for someone I already know can love me.ive given up on tinder and on everyone basically. I hate the way I look, and how I sound. I feel like whenever people like me they will change their mind p quick bc they will see me for who I am,,,,,which is a not good person.all my friends are getting significant others and I'm just over here getting drunk out of my mind so that I don't have to think about how lonely and unliveable and disgusting I am",0.2008,positive,lonely
869,MentalHealthSupport,smoked a bunch with this one dude and now he isn't talking to me,listener_1,2,"Dude pull yourself together. Quit smoking quit drinking and quit wallowing in self pity. Take care of yourself first.  Make yourself a priority. If it’s love and companionship you’re looking for, then stop looking. The more you try to force it the less satisfied you’ll feel. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. Maybe you are trying to rush things. Learn to love yourself and one day someone will come to love you. But you got to get your shit together.   I don’t know what life is like for you or what you’re going through right now but you have to love yourself before you can love someone else or you’ll never be truly happy. Don’t worry about what’s going on in other people’s lives worry about your own.",0.371,positive,sad
869,MentalHealthSupport,smoked a bunch with this one dude and now he isn't talking to me,listener_2,3,Thanks i needed this,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
870,MentalHealthSupport,I just cant seem to get happy anymore,speaker,1,"So im kinda here to just spill out my feelings as of late, if thats alright. Honestly i just dont feel happy anymore, i really just always want to cry and feel like everything is falling apart. In the summer my girlfriend broke up with me, for reasons i dont even know, all of my friends and her friends turned on me and most of them stopped being friends with me all together, even she says that im still her friend but she hasnt treated me like i even exist. My grades in school are going terrible with me not even having the ambition to finish a rough draft for a research paper. I cant ever seem to be able to look at something and have it make me happy and almost everyday i just feel like i dont even matter. The only person whos recently been showing a care in helping me is my aunt who is helping me reconnect with my ex and stuff because she believes its just she needed to be alone for awhile (my aunt and her are close friends) and im just.. Im so unsure and scared of what to do.. On one hand i really just want the girl that broke up with me to cone back because im terribly lonely now. But on the other hand im to scared to even try and do anything. Please any advice or nice words id love.",0.9547,positive,sad
870,MentalHealthSupport,I just cant seem to get happy anymore,listener_1,2,"Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds really tough! I’m glad you have your aunt to help you out, sounds like a great lady. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I think that could be really helpful for you, they’d be able to help you sort through why you’re feeling like this and how to work towards recovery.   As for the girl, I don’t know if I have advice for you on whether or not to get back together with her. If you try to get her back just because you’re lonely, it won’t be a healthy relationship. But if you truly just love and care for her and want to be in a relationship with her specifically, then it’s probably worth at least exploring. But there’s a lot of factors that could be playing into these feelings that you’re having, so I’m not sure. I think therapy could help with sorting through this as well.   Let me know if you want to chat ever or if you need support. You’re not in this alone!",0.988,positive,sympathizing
870,MentalHealthSupport,I just cant seem to get happy anymore,speaker,3,"Thank you for replying back. Yes my parents and i had talked about a therapist awhile back but they never actually ended up getting one, so alot of the time if i have a problem i make myself focus on something else like hobbies and stuff, course tho lately that hasnt helped as much. As for the girl i can see what you mean, for abit of context it was a 2 year long relationship, and we both got really close and honestly i could still admit that i really do love her, i think its just being lonely has been a factor for my feelings for her surfacing so much lately. And something me and my aunt have talked about is that she may still like me and stuff just not want to be in a relationship, ive noticed alot that she would stare at me and stuff and class and i would glance her doing it and everytime she would just look so lost and sad, and everytime would just make me miss her more. But my aunt has told me recently that the girl is working through a problem over her sexuality, problems of feeling like she is more of a guy over a girl and the same other way around. And that she wanted to work through that.",0.3066,positive,neutral
870,MentalHealthSupport,I just cant seem to get happy anymore,listener_1,4,"Yeah, that’s hard. It’s hard to have feelings for someone and to be in an intimate relationship and then have to go back to just being friends. It might be helpful to acknowledge that to her and let her know that you support her through whatever she’s going through (probably don’t tell her that you know bits of what she’s going through from your aunt and just create space for her to tell you herself).   And maybe poke your parents about a therapist again! It’s not always the right fit, but when you find a therapist that clicks with your personality, it’s really great.",0.9285,positive,acknowledging
871,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia and anxiety won't quit,speaker,1,"I have to go to the social security office to get a new social security card since I have gotten married. Well. For whatever reason, when I think about going to the DMV to change my name on my ID, I get extreme anxiety. Like. I'm scared that when I change all of that info (although I have not committed any crime) the cops will ""find me"" and take me to jail. Also, because I struggle with POCD, when I get to the sex offender part of the ID application, I get so much anxiety and it is almost too hard to function. Yes. I am looking for a therapist right now and yes I am on medication, although I know it isn't the right combo. I am also looking for psych dr. How can I cope with all of this paranoia and anxiety? How can I better cope with this POCD and be okay? Any and all advice is welcomed!",0.8490000000000001,positive,apprehensive
871,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia and anxiety won't quit,listener_1,2,"Hey friend! I also suffer from anxiety, but here’s what I’ve learned. A stress ball is great for me to help deal with it in public. You can also try meditation techniques, they work wonders! A small comfort item also helps me. I have a necklace I wear that always helps me calm down",0.9617,positive,sentimental
871,MentalHealthSupport,Paranoia and anxiety won't quit,speaker,3,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,1,"Hi there, I am doing a survey as part of my personal ongoing recovery from anxiety. I’m wondering if a few of you wouldn’t mind filling it out for me. Ten responses would really be great help. I hope it helps others too. Please find the four questions below. Thank you in advance. Best Wishes.  1/ Do you feel anxious (anticipatory anxiety) on your way in to work or a social situation and if so what factors contribute to this?  2/ Do you feel anxious during work or during the social situation and if so what factors contribute to this?  3/ Do you notice other people who are anxious in work or in the same social situation as you? If so, what is your reaction to that person or what are your thoughts about that person?  4/ What happens to you when you are stressed? What kind of bodily symptoms/behaviours do you demonstrate?",0.9393,positive,suggesting
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,listener_1,2,"1) I currently feel anxious as soon as I'm awake on a work day. If im meeting with someone, known or unknown, I get anxious. I think anticipation of the unknown of how things will pan out is what causes the most anxiety.   2) Currently during work, I'll get very anxious when it gets busy. I'm a janitor at a University's dining hall and it's the largest one on campus. Now, I used to work in an ER and urgent care and the anxiety I feel near thousands at once is very very different. Life and death situations, I'm as calm as a butterfly for some reason. Most social situations I'm anxious because I do share too much and I can never seem to shut my mouth for some reason- still working on my social skills.   3) I can only judge others body language by seeing their eye movements and facial expressions. I cant really read body language very well otherwise.  4) Stress can make me go into a panic attack and worst case PTSD episode. Mostly because one thought leads to another down a very bad ""rabbit hole"". I will also bite my lip, to the point of bleeding and even then I'll continue to bite at it. But mostly when I'm stressed, I'll shut down and freak out on the inside and just panic until I can get somewhere safe where I can then self talk/ground myself.",-0.9545,negative,anxious
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,3,Thank you for taking the time to fill this out very much appreciated.,0.7251,positive,wishing
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,4,Thank you for filling this out for me. The time you have taken to fill this out is very much appreciated. Best Wishes.,0.903,positive,wishing
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,5,Thank you for taking some time out of your day to fill out this survey. It is very much appreciated. Best Wishes.,0.903,positive,wishing
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,6,Thanks very much for filling out this survey in detail. Your time is very much appreciated. Best Wishes.,0.9108,positive,wishing
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,listener_1,7,Of course! I hope it helps!,0.7256,positive,encouraging
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,listener_2,8,You're very welcome! :),0.7823,positive,acknowledging
872,MentalHealthSupport,Mental Health Anxiety Survey,speaker,9,Thank you for filling out. Your time is very much appreciated. Best Wishes.,0.903,positive,wishing
873,MentalHealthSupport,Help me.,speaker,1,"I do not know if this is a proper portal to discuss this but; Just call me V.M and i am 23 years old. Just like any persons i am a person with a big dreams, i am dreaming to become a lawyer and philanthropist when i was a kid, and now as an adult person i work as customer service representative on one company, btw let's go to the main reason why i made this post. Firsr of all let's start with a story, it is all about me and my mental state when i get older. When i was on young age this ""things"" is actually not existing at all. I get first honor or second honor when i was on elementary, ecerything is changed when i was 10 years old, this ""thing"" in my head let's call it as my  ego(i do not know if it is the proper term to use) stsrting to disconnect to myself, like i was just a spectator or some sort you know. I always breakdown in school that is why i got always bullied before because i suddenly cried while my teacher is teaching her lessons, i t is so hard to tell everybody on what i actually feel like you are disconnected from your self and you do not know what to do because you are unable to do the things you wanted to do. Because of this even my strict teacher when i was on elementary abused me. This thing in my head gotten worse when i go to junior high, i become less interactive, anti social not like when i was a kid. The symptoms also gotten worse when i saw now patterns that i am aware is not real at all and i saw a ""tunnel thing"" moving forward in my vision everytime i focus on something. At this time my mind become fragile, i have difficulty to remember the names of people i met and unable to remember their faces unless i saw them many times. Because of this the teasing and bullying gotten worse and worse that nobody do not want to interact with me anymore. I really hate the times i disconnect myself in a random times that all i can do is cry alone. Unable to tell this to my family because i have diffficulty of interaction and also i am sxared. When i was in college i took a bschelor of science in sociology master in criminology, there is actually no progression on what the thing in my head and i become more aware of it that i am able to control it in a long span of times, even tho i get tease sometimes i also now got friends and foes, college become the best day of my life due to the fact that everything that i must felt when i was a high school i am now able to feel it on my college days,  on my college days is also the time that i met the girl of my life and her name is sam, she is very special to me. I thoughtthis things in my head are now finally gone, not until i reached 20's it become worse that i got hospitslized due to breakdown. The thing in my head now make me delusional and paranoid and forgetfulness becomes more severe that the previous me who always careful to self becomes self neglect, it become worse that i felt i'vr become dumb and dumb. and anxiety gone worse and the hallucination of the tunnel thing slightly faded but now makes me little drowsy. I do not remember the diagnosis of my doctor all i wanted is to know what the heck really happening in my head, and in many years passed i am now suddenly become obsess of morbid things that in myself i think is normal(?) until i fantasize to kill someone, even think to kill myself. Become self loathed and now i gotten worse. I am now scared to tell everythin to my fsmliy even tho i know they are worried. The spontaneous disconnection the hallucination and a pleasure to hurt something. It is no longer normal that i actually beaten up a kitten to death and i find it satisfying. Even tho my myself is against everything i've made when this thing attacked. I do not want to hurt anyone tho, the medications of my doctor is bot working and the counseling to psychologist is worthless because this thing become worst and worst. I need help. Can someobe pleaee help me?",-0.9989,negative,neutral
873,MentalHealthSupport,Help me.,listener_1,2,You need to sell your doctor the meds aren’t working. They can figure out what to do from there,0.0,neutral,trusting
873,MentalHealthSupport,Help me.,speaker,3,"My doctor medicate me using prozacs. But previously he medicate me with lamotrigine(dunno the spelling of it, just something like that) to reduce the symptoms of my disorder. And until now none of those medicines works. I am actually worried that if it takes long my disorder might become more severe than it was roght now that i cannot perform on my work properly..",-0.8883,negative,afraid
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,speaker,1,"For context, I started taking Zoloft about 10 days ago. I’ve been a bit quiet about about telling certain people about this because even though I am sure it’s a good choice for me, there’s still an unfortunate connotation associated with taking antidepressants.   Today I decided to tell my best friend of 17 years that I started medication. In the past, she’s been really nosey and has said ignorant things about my medical life, largely associated with my weight. Despite my having been to yearly doctors visits and they have reassured me that despite being a little overweight, I was in great health. My friend, in her early twenties with no medical training or schooling at all, questioned the advice and statements from my doctor.   This friend of mine said something similar to past things about my weight, but instead about meds today. She questioned why they should be a long term solution and why I didn’t try for a more holistic route. When I explained that the meds I were in have been used for almost 3 decades, if not more, and have been studied by the fda and determined safe, she still insisted that she’s heard how unhealthy they are and that the idea that I’d use them as a long term solution wasn’t a good idea.   I’m incredibly hurt by these statements for a handful of reasons. Namely that instead of having full support on something I’ve been stressing about for months, I got the exact reaction I feared. Also because of her consistent insistence that she knows more than my doctors.   It’s caused an incredible panic attack and I’m still fuming and seething.   Please give me advice on how to deal with this. This is someone whom I value deeply and despite what’s written above, I deeply care for, which is why it hurts so badly. What do I say?",-0.7697,negative,apprehensive
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,listener_1,2,"This is how good Zoloft is - it is one of two antidepressants that’s ok for use in the third trimester of pregnancy (the other being Prozac).   Ask your friend if she would be saying these things if you were having to use insulin for diabetes? I bet her answer would be no. The thing is (and something that most people don’t realise unless they’ve been in this position) people with depression turn to antidepressants once they’ve hit crisis. They’ve tried the wholistic path (even without realising it). Antidepressants save lives, just like insulin does.",0.6369,positive,agreeing
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,listener_2,3,"I agree with you entirely, but I should point out that both I and a friend of mine have hit crisis before, and still refuse antidepressants. That was our choice, and there is nothing wrong with making that choice. Equally, there is nothing wrong with taking antidepressants. It's up to the individual, as it should be. Nobody should criticise op for taking antidepressants.",-0.1501,negative,agreeing
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,speaker,4,Thank you! This helps so much!!,0.7163,positive,acknowledging
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,speaker,5,Absolutely! Taking medication is totally personal and whatever choice made should be supported!,0.4374,positive,agreeing
874,MentalHealthSupport,My long time friend made a comment about antidepressants that was full of thinly veiled ignorance,speaker,6,"Thank you! This really means so much!  And yeah, I’m completely with you... holistic care can absolutely help! Goodness knows lavender oil has helped me in a pinch and deep breathing can help too! But starting these meds has given me a sense of hope that I haven’t had in years.   I honestly don’t believe my friend meant to be as cruel as she came off. She cleared herself up a bit - her concern was more directed at the over prescription of opioids and adhd pills I suppose. But the way she worded herself was clearly because she hadn’t done a lot of research on the topic of antidepressants so it still stings a bit. I’m hoping knowing that I’m on meds makes her a little more aware!  Again thank you for your kind words. I’m glad to hear you’ve seemed to have found a good balance for you! This gives me a lot of hope for myself.",0.993,positive,caring
875,MentalHealthSupport,I really didn't know where to post this.,speaker,1,"Throughout the last couple of years I've had this issue where I miss out words in my writing. Bare with me, I could be writing let's say an essay, and I'd miss out a couple words (e.g I would want to say ""that was so funny"" but I would write ""that was so"" completely missing the word, it's a slight inconvenience that has developed throughout the last couple of years and has also become an issue in texting, same issue with reading, I could seriously read a sentence 2-3 times and have no idea what I just read, so, my question is, is this something serious? It make life a tad bit harder, thank you.",-0.6629,negative,embarrassed
875,MentalHealthSupport,I really didn't know where to post this.,listener_1,2,i don’t think it’s that serious but if it’s something that really bothers you I’d bring it up with your doctor next time you see them. a lot of people read or write too fast and they mistype or miss a word and most the time people don’t even notice bc the brain tends to fill it in so that the sentence makes sense,-0.4299,negative,neutral
875,MentalHealthSupport,I really didn't know where to post this.,speaker,3,"I'm glad it's not that serious, just really sucks when I'm sending a text and I forget an important word, or in an English exam. Anyhow, thanks man.",0.4988,positive,grateful
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,speaker,1,"I think I can't draw anymore. It's been going on for a couple of years now, ever since I got into uni I was working hard to get into. Seems like no one gets what my problem is even though it's literally my (future) profession. I've been drawing for all my life and not being able to draw anymore feels like losing a crucial part of myself. Every time I try to sit down and draw for the fun of it I just can't. Nothing comes out or it comes out way worse, than how I used to draw. It feels like I'm stagnating. I still draw for uni and work but I'm not improving or learning something new. Everyone around seems to learn new things and I'm the only one stuck. Losing a part of yourself is painful. I wonder if I'll ever be able to rekindle that passion but right now it feels unlikely. I feel hollow everytime I realise I just can't draw anymore. I neither have ideas on what to draw, skills or other things I used to have. I'm empty. And it feels like no one understands what I'm going through. Sorry for this downer of a post",-0.85,negative,sad
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,listener_1,2,"Good news, it's temporary... like writer's block!  You used to draw for fun, so it flowed. Now it's a requirement so when you sit down to draw for fun your brain is like ""nut uh, I want to relax!""  I'm an artist from way back and this happened to me when I got a job as a children's illustrator; I could do the work, but went dry when I tried to draw for fun.  It gets better. Don't force it, just wait for inspiration and in the meantime try to find another free-time hobby. You're a creative person so you should be able to enjoy most creative options (whether or not you're good at them).  I thought it was over too, when it happened to me. I could only do dry and immature works. I'm back to creating artwork again now though, even doing requests for friends sometimes just to keep it interesting.",0.9919,positive,content
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,speaker,3,"But how can a temporary thing last for years?  But my brain treating drawing as work does make sense, I think that's sort of how I feel. Did you manage to draw for fun eventually?",0.7013,positive,questioning
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,listener_1,4,">But how can a temporary thing last for years?  Temporary just means not permanent. It lasted for years for me (got the job in 2002 and wasn't able to draw for pleasure again until 2011, won a prize for a picture of a dog and two cats I'd drawn for fun three years later).  Now I draw for fun all the time. I mixed it up and use a graphics tablet and stylus now (my brother got them for me as a Christmas present in 2011 and that was the turning point; currently on my second one because I wore the other one out lol).  Once the dry spell broke, it broke. I can still do work-related art (I haven't been an illustrator since 2009 but I still freelance design projects), but it's easy to draw for fun and leisure again too.  You'll get it back, I promise. When the study is done and you're settled into your new career that you worked toward, it'll come back.",0.9694,positive,surprised
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,listener_2,5,"You don't have to draw for fun. You can make a schedule and dedicate an hour a day to drawing. Turn off everything, and I mean everything. Turn off your phone, unplug your TV, put away anything that may distract you. Then just draw. It can be anything, something on your desk, your hand, a complete abstract painting. Try to do something, even if it's just a line every single day. That way, no matter what you do, you will be making progress. Even if it's 0.001%, it's still progress. This will keep you in the habit of drawing, even if it's just a simple line. You'll know each day, you have to do something on that piece of paper. I do this with my programming and writing projects. I, everyday, make sure to write 1 word, and 1 line of code to make sure I am always progressing towards my goal, no matter how small that progression may be.",0.9239,positive,proud
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,speaker,6,"I was never really convinced if small steps actually count as progress, but perhaps you are right, maybe that'll bring some sort of satisfaction. It's just hard not to put literally any expectations on myself. Maybe I should go for smaller timeframe instead though, I can't afford even an hour currently, unfortunately",-0.0328,neutral,suggesting
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,listener_2,7,"That's fine. 5 minutes is all you really need. Small steps are important so you can take big steps. You have to start somewhere, and smaller steps are the way to go. These small steps will help you transition into bigger steps. Simply getting into the habit of drawing everyday will help you get on a schedule. You can have a time, everyday, set it on your phone to remind you, right now, where you turn off you phone, sit at your favorite desk, clear your head, and for 5 minutes, draw with an open mind. It can be a rough sketch of a face, or a petal, or an eye. Heck, you can try drawing a perfect circle and have your entire page filled with ovals. In fact, you can be doing exactly that right now instead of browsing Reddit.",0.946,positive,prepared
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,speaker,8,"Maybe I should try doing that, you're right",0.0,neutral,suggesting
876,MentalHealthSupport,I can't draw anymore,speaker,9,"I certainly hope so, thank you",0.7783,positive,encouraging
877,MentalHealthSupport,I simply have no motivation left to do anything to help myself.,speaker,1,"As each day goes on I feel like I'm too far for anything I do to help me anymore.  I cant get therapy, I tried, I cant because I dont have state insurance. And I refuse to tell my parents I need help, refuse to let them know. All I know is I need and want help, but I dont feel motivated enough to do get what I need. I think it's because of how far I am from where I need to be.",0.0077,neutral,ashamed
877,MentalHealthSupport,I simply have no motivation left to do anything to help myself.,listener_1,2,do you work? and which country do you live in?,0.0,neutral,questioning
877,MentalHealthSupport,I simply have no motivation left to do anything to help myself.,speaker,3,"US, central Washington, no.",0.0,neutral,afraid
877,MentalHealthSupport,I simply have no motivation left to do anything to help myself.,speaker,4,Far from being who I should be.,0.0,neutral,ashamed
877,MentalHealthSupport,I simply have no motivation left to do anything to help myself.,listener_2,5,"Look, xXyeet69Xx no one has defined what one should be like which leaves you, me and everyone at that spot where he or she is already who he or she should be. It is just so that not everyone accepts where they are and mistake it with being far, disconnected etc. Actually, you are where you are. Why are you judging that you are at the wrong or right place?",-0.7321,negative,questioning
878,MentalHealthSupport,Do anyone have 30 minutes just to talk?,speaker,1,So I called in sick today because I didn't do anything that I was supposed to during the weekend since I have been feeling low lately.  I've stopped eating regularly and don't get much sleep lately. In addition to that I have no social interaction outside of work and I wondered if someone had the time to talk for maybe an half hour? I think it could help me out and get my day going.,-0.6486,negative,suggesting
878,MentalHealthSupport,Do anyone have 30 minutes just to talk?,listener_1,2,yes,0.4019,positive,agreeing
878,MentalHealthSupport,Do anyone have 30 minutes just to talk?,speaker,3,I've sent you a PM.,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
879,MentalHealthSupport,I need Advice,speaker,1,Ok so here is my problem.I have spend 6 years on my degree did Bachelors and then Masters in business administration that too with good CGPA Points.I feel stressed and cant handle pressure on work place and I have tried working in 3 organisation and quit within a week! Fun Fact all those friends of mine who weren't academically that good are successfully employed! .I am already taking antidepressants and high BP pills and I am 26 ! (Your suggestion will be highly appreciated),0.9455,positive,ashamed
879,MentalHealthSupport,I need Advice,listener_1,2,"Wow, almost the same story here with some twists here. Drop me a PM if you feel like chatting!",0.6696,positive,acknowledging
879,MentalHealthSupport,I need Advice,speaker,3,I have messaged you! thankx for the reply,0.0,neutral,sympathizing
880,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired,speaker,1,"I'm tired when i wake up in the morning, I'm tired during the day, I'm tired when i go to sleep but sleep never helps. I feel like evey time i get up to try and make things better i get punch back down by life in some way. Nothing is going my way and every day its a little harder to justify trying. Whats the point of fighting the current when I'll just drown anyway",-0.8328,negative,annoyed
880,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired,listener_1,2,Me too hey. To top it off I have this headache that doesn’t go away. But there has to be a point right? Sending my love to you and hope we will get the help we need.,0.9393,positive,consoling
880,MentalHealthSupport,I'm tired,speaker,3,I've never been clinically diagnosed but mainly because i haven't been able to find a dr/therapist within my insurance who is taking new patients.,0.0,neutral,neutral
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,speaker,1,This happened to me on Sunday. I thought somebody was right next to me saying my name and I looked and nobody was there. Should I be concerned? It’s never happened to me,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,listener_1,2,"I have a similar experience somewhat frequently, sometimes it sounds close up and sometimes it sounds like someone far away is shouting for me. Happens maybe twice or three times a month.   Not sure if it means anything. As far as mental health I have issues with anxiety, that's about it.",-0.0418,neutral,afraid
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,speaker,3,I do suffer with anxiety - the night before I had a tough one.  Took all my night to get out of bed and out the door.,-0.6908,negative,anxious
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,speaker,4,Really?  Does it frighten you?,-0.4631,negative,questioning
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,listener_2,5,Sometimes it can be worrying but I think it can occur in areas where you are anxious or hearing your name could be important . For example I work in fast food and its often noisy and busy and I feel like I hear my name all the time. Would that type of enviornment be similar to yours ?,0.2263,positive,questioning
881,MentalHealthSupport,Ever hear someone whisper your name in your ear? But no one is there,speaker,6,It was in a quiet space Other people were there but no one was speaking  Maybe someone was whispering and it bounced off of something and My ear caught it,-0.4215,negative,embarrassed
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,speaker,1,"Im 32, have ocd and bpd as well as ADHD ( wouldn't be surprised with ASD as well ),  Coming out of a 3 year no work gap, dealing with deaths in the family and trying job hopping due to the mental health issues flaring up now that I'm working and not isolating...  I just don't know if I should be pursuing training , schooling at uni or college with my pretty much untreated and not fully diagnosed issues.   It seems I should since I'm in my 30s and have only low pay shitty jobs to choose from, and some careers excite me though I don't know that I could get through the training or the career itself.  Part of my just wants to work part time, budget, get therapy, and adjust to regular jobs ect, But the other part of me feels embarrassed to work minimum wage jobs at my age and the pressure to get training and a career.  Need some perspective and some advice.",-0.6987,negative,apprehensive
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,listener_1,2,"Im sorry you have been through such a difficult time. I dont think you should be ashamed of working low paying jobs at this time (I will admit that I am privileged and it is easy for me to say). You have been through a lot by the sound of it and giving yourself time to get back into routine sounds like a good idea to me. Having said that I fully support you wanting to persue training and a new career if that is what you want. I dont know your situation so I cant tell you what's the best thing to do.  My friend (30f), who also has BPD and a complex mix of other mental health issues, was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago. She had difficulty completing courses and holding down jobs for most of her 20's. Last year she finally got medicated and she has just completed a community services course. It has made a huge difference to her and it's really great to see. You are most definately not alone in starting your career late.  It may be a good idea to focus on working on you headspace before starting something new.   My husband (33m) has ADHD too and has been medicated since he was 14. He never excelled at school, even while medicated but it doesn't mean that he is not intelligent. When he lost his retail job he did a private security course and did really well because it was something he was interested in and it was a lot easier for him to focus on. If you find your passion it may be easier to complete the training.  I hope something in that was helpful. But I guess what I really want to say is dont beat yourself up for not having everything figured out yet. You dont have to live to other people's timelines.",0.9889,positive,sympathizing
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,speaker,3,"Thanks, needed to hear this, just trying to figure out what I don't want from my list of careers I do want by process of elimination to arrive at something that is exciting but not too stressful.",0.7678,positive,acknowledging
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,listener_1,4,Its a hard thing to do. Do you have an industry in mind?,-0.1027,negative,questioning
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,speaker,5,"Yeah, I like science, some tech ( automation in robotics, mobile app dev, ect but my programming is not good and find it hard to learn, UI,UX and graphic design is interesting ), I like nature and the outdoors, dreamed of being a pilot but the schooling cost is astronomical and the stress might be a bad idea. Not so much media, hate medical industry.",-0.8874,negative,afraid
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,listener_1,6,"Lots of different options there. I can see why you are having trouble narrowing that down. I think the good thing about the tech industry is that there lots of different roles working together, so that if one doesn't suit you could move into another while keeping you past experience which will be relevant. At least that is true for my friend in IT. Good luck with your search.",0.9022,positive,wishing
882,MentalHealthSupport,Need some perspective,speaker,7,"Thanks, you're entirely correct. I'm interested in science and math, hard to get into programming but I know if I stuck with it I'd see it actually do stuff. Being a pilot would be my dream, but I feel many dream jobs are really stressful day to day. Plus, flight school is insane expensive.  I'd love quiet work, less social, mentally engaging but not too much multitasking and not too much keeping up with learning new info, unless it was researching, I love researching.",0.9021,positive,agreeing
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,1,"Hey everyone so um.. Ive been having these troubles with a girl that broke up with me. Its been almost a year and its still just so painful to be anywhere around her and to even see her and yet everytime we talk everything is fine. She completely ignores that i exist half the time even though she has said alot of the time before that we are still friends. But she doesnt talk to me, she doesnt interact at all like im her friend, and yet she always says we are. I just dont understand.. I didnt try to treat her badly but anytime i talk to my aunt (who is good friends with her) she just says she needs time to heal.. And i dont understand why.. The end of the day is always the worse because of just it was the last time i ever got to see her. And now i only ever see her hanging out with other friends and all i can think is am i not good enough to talk to? Whats wrong with me? I just.. I dont understand.. My aunt keeps saying it will take time and it will get better but it wont.. Really it wont.. Every day i just feel worse and worse and i always just want to breakdown and cry when she just doesnt bother with me.",-0.8489,negative,annoyed
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,listener_1,2,There's nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you both need time apart to heal. It also sounds like she's conflicted (being chatty and nice one minute and ignoring you the next).   I'd recommend taking time for yourself and working on healing and nurturing your own needs.  You also might want to try posting to r/Advice. They might have some more answers.  I'm not sure if you're asking for relationship help or help with your mental health.,0.9422,positive,suggesting
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,3,"Thanks, now that you say that last part i could see how this kind of post would be inappropriate for this subreddit, thank you for what you said though, i agree with it",0.7845,positive,agreeing
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,listener_1,4,You're welcome. I hope you find the help you need! <3,0.8356,positive,consoling
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,listener_2,5,Sometimes relationship problems can put a strain on you mentally. It's 100% okay to post it here.,-0.25,negative,trusting
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,6,"Well im not really sure, alot of how i feel is a sort of pressure in my chest like its difficult to breath even tho i can do it just fine. But anyway about emotions, usually i think its pain, anger, and sorrow? Im not sure on the last one, its been dependant on stuff like what i listen to or how others treat me. Im not sure of many more but im sure there might be more",-0.8814,negative,anxious
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,listener_2,7,"emotional stress can cause stress-induced sensations in our chest—muscle tightness, increased heart rate, abnormal stomach activity and shortness of breath. So what you feel is completely normal. And it makes it easy to get overwhelmed too, which can cause anxiety and anger.   Been sleeping okay?",0.5719,positive,questioning
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,8,"Kinda meh, sometimes i sleep well sometimes not at all, for example yesterday i fell asleep at around 7:20, but 2 days before i didnt sleep at all, everytime i dont sleep or sleep hardly its caused by i get tired and try to sleep, but then i start to think about her and i wake up from it",-0.5112,negative,neutral
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,listener_2,9,"Well understand all thing like this are temporary. It will eventually get better. But im sure now it sucks, and it's gonna suck for a bit, but it isn't forever.    Have you considered some of these thoughts are in your head? I don't think she thinks you aren't good enough to talk to her, but she's probably emotionally stressed just the same way you are. It's probably hard for her to talk to you right now just the same and it's hard for you. Just understand these things take time.   Think about distractions, when we get all depressy it's easy to just want to do nothing. Sometimes it's hard to get the motivation to do anything. But it's the best thing for you.",0.5907,positive,agreeing
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,10,"Ok, thank you il try your suggestions",0.3612,positive,acknowledging
883,MentalHealthSupport,I just dont know what to do.,speaker,11,"Thank you, il try",0.3612,positive,wishing
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,speaker,1,"My fiance has recently started to become very angry and irrational over minor things. We have 2 children together ages 7 and 5, and I want her to get help before it really starts affecting them. I know she has issues from her childhood that she hasn't dealt with, and she was seeing a counselor for a short time but stopped. How can I influence her to go back to counseling before things get worse?",-0.8238,negative,angry
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,listener_1,2,"You can't make anyone seek help if they are unwilling--no matter how difficult things are or how hurtful her behavior may be.   If I were in your shoes, I'd go to counseling and also take my kids to counseling as well. You can't make her change and you can't control what she does, but you and your kids can go to a counselor to help figure out ways to do what's best for you and for your kids despite how your fiance is acting.   If she sees you going to counseling, it may spur her to go too, but you can't guarantee that. I'd just go for yourselves and focus on your needs and being a good parent to your kids despite how your fiance is being. If you and your kids go, they will feel supported and like they have an outlet and at least one strong stable parent to lean on.   I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope she decides to get help. <3",0.9861,positive,trusting
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,speaker,3,"Thank you, that was helpful. I know getting her to go is like getting an addict to get help. I was kinda hoping my kids could avoid counseling, unless all of us go together, as a family. I didn't think about me going, but I see where that would help, and could influence her to go, before it's too late.",0.8382,positive,acknowledging
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,listener_1,4,"You're welcome. I really hope things start to improve for her, you, and your children. <3",0.8439,positive,encouraging
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,speaker,5,My main concern is the children and her.,0.0,neutral,caring
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,speaker,6,"I have done that, but it things happen again.",0.0,neutral,neutral
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,listener_2,7,"Was any medications suggested? To me, it sounds like she might have BPD.",0.3612,positive,questioning
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,speaker,8,"She is on some medication, not sure what it is, or if she has been taking it. I'm sure she has BPD. She will totally blow up, screaming and ranting, and the next day act as if nothing happened.",-0.3665,negative,terrified
884,MentalHealthSupport,Needing advice,listener_2,9,Have you talked to a doctor about either changing medicines or upping the dosage?,0.0,neutral,questioning
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,speaker,1,"I live in the UK, and have heard the worst news I possibly could. You may know what I'm talking about, the conservatives have won, and I don't feel any inspiration to want to live in this country anymore, and very little inspiration to live in general.   I have had the worst 2 years, I've lost family members, not had a single secure job, I have been jobless in a total of 4 months this year and I am not applicable to apply for job seekers allowance, this led to me losing all of my savings and I am constantly scraping to survive.   I can't get a job in something I actually want or have passion for because they all don't pay enough or are unreliable, I did start a job today which is good pay but really horrible, working in a office in a customer service team with only 10 days of annual leave allowed, really long hours so I don't have time for myself, 2 hour commute every day on a packed train where I feel people breathing on me. I'm dreading tomorrow after this awful news and how uninspired I am for this job, I literally don't feel any motivation to do anything.   After hearing today's vote, hearing that my country voted for someone who's actions is going to kill children and remove free health care, I don't have any positive belief that anything good will happen in my life.   I just don't want to live, I don't want to live in a world that has never been more full of hate and wanting to separate everyone from everyone else, a world where no one wants to help each other, I have no respect for my country or wanting to live on a planet with such awful people.",-0.9845,negative,devastated
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,listener_1,2,Do you want to talk,0.0772,positive,questioning
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for reaching out to me, and I'm sorry for a very late reply, been working and genuinely loosing track of time! I'm ok though, just feel how unfair life is and feel like an alien held hostage on this planet!",0.6649,positive,sympathizing
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,speaker,4,"Thank you so much for reaching out to me, and sorry for my late reply, I have been doing exactly the job I mentioned. I felt so hopeless, and like I'm constantly hit with the reminder of how unfair life is. I feel like an alien in this planet, so out of place and like I literally have no motivation to live here! But I am ok, I know I won't do anything, I just feel so out of place!",0.2724,positive,devastated
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,speaker,5,"Thank you, going through a very difficult time in the UK, the country is not what it used to be, it's full of racists now and full of people who don't care about having a free healthcare system, it's like the whole country just shot itself in the foot!",-0.2294,negative,sad
885,MentalHealthSupport,I have no hope and no inspiration,listener_2,6,Eventually life will get better just keep that little hope :),0.8036,positive,consoling
886,MentalHealthSupport,It’s cold and lonely,speaker,1,"I often like to distract myself with personal activities to avoid negative thoughts which results in isolating myself. I thought I enjoyed it and yes i do, but this have slowly made me feel lonely.  However, when I go out to socialise with my family, friends or strangers, bad things often happen which makes me very anxious and make me want to not go out of my room anymore.   I don’t have any common topic with my family and relatives which is why I’m often left alone at home in my room, so I thought if I learn to enjoy solitude and being a shut-in, I won’t feel lonely; but this only work for awhile as I realise how much my heart hurts when I see people on social medias are enjoying youth.  This feeling of loneliness hurts so much, distraction is no longer as affective but socialising and the eyes of people are so scary at the same time. Its so cold here...  I’m sorry if this whole post is a mess and doesn’t make any sense, I can’t think straight now and just need a place to express myself...",-0.9686,negative,lonely
886,MentalHealthSupport,It’s cold and lonely,listener_1,2,"I feel you sooo hard. I even cry when I look at Instagram, seeing people living lives I doubt I’ll get to experience.",-0.7184,negative,sad
886,MentalHealthSupport,It’s cold and lonely,listener_2,3,Everyone on insta is just some flexers that are depressed asf,-0.5106,negative,sad
886,MentalHealthSupport,It’s cold and lonely,listener_2,4,Thats a fake life,-0.4767,negative,acknowledging
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,speaker,1,"I guess this a rant and a vent.  I don't understand the purpose of life so when the smallest thing goes wrong I turn to wanting to kill myself. I've been on medication and tried going to doctors to get help but nothing helped, I was encouraged by family to just turn to God. Not all, but many religious people believe depression is something you can will yourself out of and that it is just the devil trying to ruin you. Sure, if it is that, it baffles me that the voice of the devil is stronger than god's. I should probably mention I no longer believe in religion and that makes me feel reasonless. If God exists, he abandoned me. The fear that kept me away from doing it is the fear of eternal hellfire and now I'm not sure I believe in it.  My life has deteriorated all from my own doing, I've flunked out of college, isolated myself, continue to fail the courses I'm taking online as an attempt to save face, and probably have lost all respect from my family. I wish I had an escape and sleep used to give me that but for years, I have nightmares about my family finding me after I've killed myself. I don't deserve their love, I feel so useless. I feel like I'll end up doing it one day anyway but keep dragging it out. I feel like a waste of resources of the world. I hate myself and honestly I've felt like this as a kid, before even knowing what all this was. Everything gives me migraines and any medication that helps them make me drowsy, rendering me more useless. I'm a waste of life.  I'm 20 but I've seen enough, I know it never gets better but rather your coping mechanisms get better. My coping mechanism is avoidance. I will always suffer, I know everyone does which makes me feel somewhat like a anti-natalist. I'm exhausted. I don't even do anything. People have friends, careers, school lives - I have nothing of that. I can't continue to be a drain on my parents much longer. I feel so beyond help, I have no peace, I hate myself.",-0.996,negative,faithful
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,listener_1,2,"I know this is too short to reply to such a big story. Honestly I can kinda relate as of lately and what helped me is that I know that it's a illness and not actually you. Youre sick and I'm sick too, it's not us at all. It's a sickness and you need to heal. Read about the monk that sold his ferrari it helps me loads even tho I'm not even half way the book.",-0.5719,negative,agreeing
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,speaker,3,"I'm sorry you feel a similar way. It's not too short of a reply, I don't think there is much to say about it. I will look into reading that, thank you",0.29600000000000004,positive,sympathizing
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,speaker,4,"My greatest fear is letting those I love down, but I can't stop doing it. I have too many self destructive tendencies that I genuinely try to put an end to but it's just a never ending spiral. Honestly I know I haven't experienced it all and I'm young but I know things usually get worse and there are bigger problems in my future to come. I've seen the way life goes for people in my family, I don't want to live like that. I'm stuck and no matter how hard I try to get out, I always end up in the same place. It's not self pity and I know I'm blessed in having a family clean water, food, and shelter - so many people don't have that. I absolutely just hate myself for letting myself be here. I feel like a token of bad luck and I mess everything up.",-0.8507,negative,guilty
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,speaker,5,"I appreciate the time you took to respond and am happy you found something that works for you in terms of spirituality. I agree a lot of us have a tendency to play victim but I don't think I am a victim - I know I've done this all to myself and I continue to do it everyday. I am grateful for a lot of things but it makes me hate myself more. Why am I behaving the way I do when there are so many things that could be wrong? It makes me feel like a waste. Someone else would love the life I have and all I think about is ending it. In terms of therapy, I no longer have insurance but it takes too big of a hit on me seeing doctors that could not care less. I don't have the strength in me to pretend like I'm really here for a greater good much longer",0.3952,positive,grateful
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,listener_1,6,I feel sorry for you too. Yeah it's what it is what more can we say about it right? And yes do if that's okay with you and I appreciate it.,0.802,positive,sympathizing
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,listener_2,7,"You can't tell yourself you shouldn't feel a certain way if you do. Acknowledging it and knowing that its okay to feel the way you do is so important because you are listening to your body's emotional response. Truth is, It doesn't matter who you are even people who seem to have very fortunate lives, who have good families, wealth, fame, good health, etc. can still feel depressed and can still suffer internally. Your feelings are valid and there is a real reason you feel the way you do otherwise you wouldn't be feeling it. Our mind and our ego are our worst critics so don't listen to that voice telling you that you shouldn't be feeling this way. Our bodies are very intelligent and they don't lie when you have a cut it hurts right? Same thing with our minds if we have mental wounds that we haven't addressed it will continue to hurt and feel painful. The more we try to resist the longer the feelings persist.  Introspection and digging deeper through your past experiences and interactions may help you find the answer (which therapy helps with). If you are even alive right now in this moment means YOU ARE doing your job and you are NOT a waste you have to give yourself more credit where its due and be kinder to yourself. The fact that you haven't ended your life despite your thoughts proves you are much stronger than you even realize. You are only 20 which is only less than a quarter of your life. You have a long way ahead of you, and know that this experience (even though it might suck rn) IS important because it is making you a stronger person each day whether you know it or not. After every storm comes a calm.",0.952,positive,angry
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,speaker,8,"Thank you for your thoughtful message, you don't know how much better it made me feel. I really want to progress from my position but I've been stuck so long and nothing changes. I am sorry about your friend and I feel like I'm in a similar boat as her. I hate the labels the doctors put on you without even fully looking at you, I think they misdiagnose many. I am so glad you found a way to be more stable, I hope your progress continues.   I'm not sure how close CBT and DBT are but I've been recommended the former. It just takes so much out of me to be consistent though. I have a bad relationship with meds, I miss the correct times and if I'm feeling really down I feel like taking too many so I prefer to stay away.",0.9594,positive,grateful
887,MentalHealthSupport,I hate myself,listener_3,9,"I really hope you find something that works for you. It most definatly takes a long time, but after 7 odd years of persisting things are finally looking up for me. It took longer for my friend but she has also come so far. I agree that there is a lot of misdiagnosis and sometimes we need to work it out for ourselves because they miss things.  CBT doesnt work for me at all, it is invalidating and just left me feeling like an idiot for not being able to change the negative thoughts. DBT did work. It usually is done with individual and group sessions, but my psychologist just went through the skill with me and it really helped me understand my emotions and then recongnise when I was in distress and what I could do about it. It takes parts from a lot of different therapies with a goal of being aware and understanding distress and then giving you tools to get through it. I dont think its a cure but it got me to a point that I could then work my avoidance because I could cope more easily. Im still working on that but I am getting there.  You've obviously been trying so hard and sometimes it is just trial and error which sucks so much. But keep going, it's hard but I believe in you.",-0.9525,negative,trusting
888,MentalHealthSupport,Being called an empath & other stuff,speaker,1,"Is this even real?  I’m strong in many ways  I just see & feel things - i think we all do,    The one thing that’s exhausting is when I feel what is bothering others people or see things happening before they happen ... my brother says I’m a freak ( I know he’s kidding )   But it’s not easy to have this happen.   This last week it was intense  See things or hear things and than it happens -  still have a headache from it.    This past week was intense & I’m exhausted and my anxiety is off the charts   My therapist came to a work thing for me Which helped me get through it  Isn’t that amazing but she can’t be w me 24/7  Spent half the day in bed today and yesterday  Only way for me to charge my battery & rest my mind.   This week ahead I have some pressure pushing work related meetings.   May have to go out on disability if I can’t get or feel balance- my brain feels split   I’m rambling here - going to sleep some before I have to go to my next task.  Thanks for being here",-0.105,negative,anxious
888,MentalHealthSupport,Being called an empath & other stuff,listener_1,2,"I am an empath. It is real.  I went through several traumas and tragedies in my life and now use my experience with PTSD to help people through my work at a funeral home.  Every single time there is a mass shooting I feel it, before it happens. I wake up in the morning with a sense of foreboding, because I can feel in the air something big is about to happen. I swear to god. More often than not when I turn on the news later in the afternoon or evening, there’s been one. And then all at once, I feel the pain of every single person who was there. It’s like I feel the shots.     Likewise when parents of victims of murder, suicide, child death, accidents, come into my office I feel their pain, almost immediately. I try to take some of it on to myself, no matter how wierd that sounds.   I don’t think there’s anything supernatural about it or anything. I think people who have been through the most horrifying things this world has to offer are more in tune with the emotions of others, even subconsciously. I think you can read the mood of your particular nation and can tell when something bad is due to happen. It’s almost like clockwork. I feel the vibes of every single person I’ve come across, and I value it so heavily in my every day work and in the lessons I learn from people.",-0.9845,negative,apprehensive
888,MentalHealthSupport,Being called an empath & other stuff,speaker,3,"What do you do to recover?  I even feel when animals are in pain. Animals often come and sit on my feet, especially dogs.    My therapist said this to me and I’m learning about what it means.    I’ve suffered traumas -  still very painful to share.  When I’ve been over stimulated I end up spending hours later in bed - but I’ve felt things from people but I wasn’t sure I was projecting  It’s like a new door is opening and I have to learn   Thank you for sharing",0.8353,positive,caring
888,MentalHealthSupport,Being called an empath & other stuff,listener_1,4,"I make myself cry.  I put on something very sad like the movie *Life is Beautiful* and I channel their pain through my eyes. Eventually it feels like it is gone. I am open about every single thing in my life because if I can talk about it, I’m not held by it. I make sure to tell my wife the things I see at work within reason and she’s kind enough to help me shoulder the burden.   We’re all in this together. Buy some sad movies, build yourself a support system, and when you’re overstimulated you know what you can fall back on. Sometimes manufactured melancholy just replaces that feeling, and gives a less scary ghost the charge of making you sad.",-0.7134,negative,sentimental
889,MentalHealthSupport,Dont know how to stop,speaker,1,I tried for the last week to not do it but I cant stop everyday I tell my brain dont do it monkey but I keep doing it I talked to my parents didnt help anyone know how I can stop without talking to a doctor,-0.5195,negative,ashamed
889,MentalHealthSupport,Dont know how to stop,listener_1,2,What are you trying to stop doing?,-0.29600000000000004,negative,questioning
889,MentalHealthSupport,Dont know how to stop,speaker,3,I dont wanna say what it is because its embarrassing I just want to know how to stop doing stuff thats bad,-0.7906,negative,ashamed
889,MentalHealthSupport,Dont know how to stop,listener_2,4,"Understandable.   What I've experienced personally, is the more you try to stop or repress a feeling, emotion, thought, urge...ect, the stronger it comes back and it's unrelenting. So I'm not saying you should just indulge whatever you're trying to avoid. If I were in your shoes, I would explore WHY I want to do the thing or WHY I keep thinking that same thing over and over. Ask with an open heart and mind and without judgement. Pretend you're talking to a small child who wants to tell you ""Hey I did something bad."" They have judgement, shame, embrassment...etc. But you don't have to. Pretend you're the child's loving and open parent and just say ""Can you tell me why you're wanting to do XZY"" or ""Why do think it's bad?"" or ""Why do you want to avoid doing that thing/feeling that emotion...etc?""  I'd be asking, without judgement (and out of pure curiosity), why you want to do said thing?, what belief caused you to feel it's wrong and embarrassing?, why are you're trying to avoid it? What are you trying to control or avoid by not doing/thinking that thing?  The more you explore openly your ""child's"" very good reason for doing what it's doing or why it wants to avoid it, it then becomes not so scary, shameful, and the obsessive part should calm down. Whatever it is you're dealing with wants to be heard. You're trying to suppress it and ignore it and it's screaming at you because it wants to be heard and acknowledged. So listen to what that part of you has to say (again, without shame or judgement) and go from there. It doesn't mean you're allowing that part of you to do whatever that thing is, but at least you're not ignoring it. At least your hearing that ""child"" out with the issue that they're having.  If you want to PM me and talk further, feel free to. <3",0.5376,positive,agreeing
889,MentalHealthSupport,Dont know how to stop,speaker,5,Im new to reddit dont know how to pm but I would love to pm you,0.7783,positive,neutral
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,speaker,1,I’m 16 and just a couple months ago I had started to get chronic anxiety randomly out of no where. Never in my life has it been like this.  Can anxiety just happen randomly ? Or could it be medical,-0.2732,negative,afraid
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,listener_1,2,There is no such thing as random in medical science.I am not a doctor but as a person suffering from anxiety and depression I can tell there is always a reason.What do you stress about? if comfortable DM me for talk.I am a bit older than you so i can guide!,-0.908,negative,trusting
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,speaker,3,This happened when I thought I had a lung disease because I’m a hypochondriac. And then after that I’ve been struggling with the thought I have something wrong with me like dp/dr and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for months. My mind is blurry and can’t even think anymore,-0.5859,negative,afraid
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,speaker,4,Like vitamin defiencies and etc right?,0.5719,positive,questioning
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,listener_2,5,"I have no idea, we can make guesses here but a doctor will greatly help you understand what's going on. I suggest setting up an appointment with one, it'll do you good.",0.8042,positive,suggesting
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,speaker,6,This happened when I thought I had a lung disease because I’m a hypochondriac. And then after that I’ve been struggling with the thought I have something wrong with me like dp/dr and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for months. My mind is blurry and can’t even think anymore.,-0.5859,negative,afraid
890,MentalHealthSupport,Why?,listener_1,7,"first you must visit your doctor.Secondly sometimes your body shows symptoms of depression but its not depression its the result of some other medical condition and yes Vitamin D's deficiency could be one reason. Vitamin D is not the only reason some other deficiency can cause it.Plus recently I have discovered Porn addiction and Masturbation can also lead to stress,Anxiety or depression.Basically Those people who jerk off frequently they loose minerals from their body!  ​  I am not a doctor but sharing the same journey! Do visit your doctor and I would suggest you to visit primary care doctor instead of a specialist.",0.9364,positive,annoyed
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,speaker,1,Just asked for advice over on LegalAdviceUK over a crash I was involved in a while ago in which I'm not at fault but did something really stupid. Long story short I got majorly trolled over it and voted down like crazy because I litteraly told the truth......... I'm getting to a point where I hate the human race. I'm autistic so am kinda used to people being nasty/berating me for doing pretty much nothing other than being my autistic self. I just feel like I can't cope with being a complete alien anymore!!!!!!!! I've done it for 31 years and all I can say is that I'm just really tired.,-0.7974,negative,ashamed
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,listener_1,2,"Please know that this site is especially cutthroat - no matter what. I’ve been lashed out at a handful of times in my EXPECTANT MOTHERS GROUP.... for new moms!! There’s really no safe place, it is really sad. I’m sorry you didn’t get the advice you were looking for - don’t let bold people hiding behind screen names make you lose hope!",-0.6291,negative,devastated
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,speaker,3,There are groups on Facebook that are pretty safe or at least where the majority of the people aren't nasty that I've found. It just shocks me that people in general are such assholes over nothing.,0.3867,positive,surprised
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,speaker,4,I try not to take anything personally it just gets tiring dealing with people's rubbish all the time. The pine thing is just the tip of the iceberg I went out to a Christmas markets on Sunday and had some woman punch me in the side for daring to walk past her. It's honestly beyond me what is offencive about that or why it apparently deserved me being punched by her. Its hard to remember there are kind people out there when all you see is the bad side of society. Thank you for the reply it did help.,0.8481,positive,angry
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,speaker,5,"This. This is exactly what annoys me about people and its not even just an online thing. I've had it happen to my fae aswell. I know what's happened, someone else has said something else and everyone has believed them over me just because it was easier than actually figuring out the truth. I just feel like I will never fully understand what the hell goes on with people. I honestly try to be my own validation but to ask for help on a legal matter to only be bombarded by insults and nasty comments just got too much for me at the time. I feel a bit better today so thank you for the reply.",0.7776,positive,annoyed
891,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to get this off my chest,listener_2,6,mate if someone through some random shit on your face that F**king someone doesn't deserve you.You will find those people who actually love you for who you are.,0.1531,positive,neutral
892,MentalHealthSupport,Help. Please. Anyone.,speaker,1,"How would someone with no job or insurance go about getting mental health care?   It’s been too long and I’m afraid that I’m going to do something that would cause pain to everyone else around me. I know I need the help, but can’t seem to get any, anywhere.",0.0516,positive,afraid
892,MentalHealthSupport,Help. Please. Anyone.,listener_1,2,"    First if you're feeling like hurting yourself or somebody else go to crisisline.org. that was the only international crisis line I could find, as I don't know where u reside.    Ask for your overall question I can only give you an answer from a perspective of somebody living in the United States. I'm pretty sure almost anywhere it is considered an emergency if you are feeling like you're a physical danger to yourself or somebody else, but honestly I'm unsure of is it is considered a no-questions-asked emergency in other countries.  I am very lucky  I live in a country that if u are low income or no income there's either a sliding scale  And that is if you are not bringing in any income  you can start by applying for Medicaid. Once you do that you could start getting preventive mental health care to address ur long term needs.    But I think your best bet is to go to that link above ask the professionals cuz me, I'm just your neighborhood bipolar cat lady I'm on mobile and I don't have the means of bringing up the resources that they do I'm sure. Best of luck to you",0.9778,positive,apprehensive
892,MentalHealthSupport,Help. Please. Anyone.,listener_1,3,"Sorry for the English, Im post on my nieces mobile .",-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
893,MentalHealthSupport,A relapse but I don't know why,speaker,1,"I posted in r/selfharm as well but I need help. In 2015 I had a rough year, two traumatic events and a severe untreated mental illness, I selfharmed a lot. Now I'm doing much better, I went to a psychiatrist, stopped selfharming i met someone I love, I graduated, got a job and moved out. Sounds great but I just had a relapse in selfharming. I don't know why but just now I saw something related to suicide (can't even remember what it was about), got up and just started scrambling for something sharp. I harmed myself the same way as I did four years ago while sobbing and I don't know why, only that I could not stop until I was satisfied. Now, afterwards I regret it and I feel confused. No one in my circle knows I ever selfharmed because at the time I was ashamed and when I stopped I didn't see the point in telling anybody. Does anyone have a clue what is going on and what should I do?",-0.9563,negative,terrified
893,MentalHealthSupport,A relapse but I don't know why,listener_1,2,"I don't know you and I'm not a professional, so I can't speak to why this happened, but I can share a little of my own experience. I also struggled with self harm on top of bulimia, and one night I had something kind of similar happen. I was recovered and healthy, but one night I went to the bathroom and purged my dinner. Without even thinking about it. Halfway through I froze like, what the hell am I doing?? Then went back to recovered living as if nothing had ever happened.  I don't think it means you're back to where you were in 2015. It might just be your brain suddenly reaching for something it used to find comforting, a missed circuit somewhere. Maybe you're backsliding, but it sounds like this was just a blip. It happens sometimes, our brains are imperfect. But maybe reach out to a therapist if feelings of self harm come back.",-0.7998,negative,ashamed
893,MentalHealthSupport,A relapse but I don't know why,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your reply! It really helped me and I feel less alone and miserable. I hope and will work on it to make sure it is a blip, I really don't wanna go back to having to hide my scars. I think the thing that scared me most was that I couldn't stop, I just had to do it. But the missed circuit thing sounds right, as I am in a period of my life where I'm doing lots of new stuff and I think my brain was just overloaded :/ But thanks again! I feel much calmer now :)",0.7879999999999999,positive,grateful
893,MentalHealthSupport,A relapse but I don't know why,listener_1,4,I'm glad I could help!,0.7177,positive,grateful
893,MentalHealthSupport,A relapse but I don't know why,speaker,5,Thank you for your help! I feel much better and calmer and I'll get help!!,0.9213,positive,grateful
894,MentalHealthSupport,I need help to stop ruminating. It is affecting my quality of life badly.,speaker,1," So I will keep this brief. About two years ago I had an argument with a former, incredibly stupid coworker. This person said incredibly racist things about Hispanics capped off with ""If you want to speak Spanish you can go back to your own country motherfuckers."" As well as adding that in America ""wE sPeAK ENglIsh."" Which was said with an incredibly stupid and ignorant attitude. For reference about their intelligence, think about the catch me outside girl from a few years ago. I really enjoy learning languages as a hobby but ever since this I can't bring myself to do it. Every time I think about it, this conversation always comes up and I am mad that I did not lose it on the person. I know either way it would not change their mind but I would feel better if I had told them what a stupid dumb ass they were. My languages that I already know are slipping because of lack of study but I just cannot bring myself to do it because their words always come back to me. That is not good because I need languages for work. Does anyone have any advice or ever dealt with something similar? I really am at my whit's end. I need to stop obsessively ruminating so I can get back to studying and feeling normal. Thank you.",-0.9705,negative,disgusted
894,MentalHealthSupport,I need help to stop ruminating. It is affecting my quality of life badly.,speaker,2,Anyone?,0.0,neutral,questioning
894,MentalHealthSupport,I need help to stop ruminating. It is affecting my quality of life badly.,speaker,3,Thank you very much :),0.6983,positive,wishing
895,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with trauma i didn't know i had,speaker,1,"ok, so before i start, background information, im chilean, and in 2010 there was a big earthquake, like a BIG one (the event is called 27F if you want to search about it) and turns out it something very important in my life now.  So, when the earthquake happened i was around five years old, i was sleeping when out of nowhere... this was happening. I remember having to search for my clothes really fast so i could go out the house with my family, being in the living room, watching everything fall down, i remember my dog running away the moment we opened the door, and how the fucking roof and walls were breaking. And... this is kinda silly but is the thing i remember the most, how i was super worried because i didn't have time to put my socks on so i was barefoot on the street (the days after i asked my parents if i could sleep with my socks on so this wouldn't happen again).  Now, after moving to my old house again (where this happened), i started to have something like nightmares, but instead of a dream, i would just wake up in the middle of the night, trembling a lot, and thinking i woke up in the middle of a earthquake. Everytime this happens, instead of like, trying to remember this is not real, i always get up, dress really fast, always forgeting to put shoes on (irrelevant but it feels important for some reason), and run to the living room, then i ask if someone else is feeling the earquake, and obviously they say there wasn't a earthquake and it was just a dream.  This happens at least once a week, and just now i'm making the connections (dumb, i know). I want to ask for help but, in my country, this is just normal, like everyone has had an experience like this, everyone older than 13 has a story about it, and having a ""trauma"" seems like, impossible to me, is like living in a country with big insects and being afraid of them, isn't it something you just get used to?  I think what i'm experiencing is PTSD, but i'm not really sure (it feels kinda offensive to just... say i have a disorder without seeing a profesional first), but... isn't a little too late to feel traumatized? i live in a seismic country, and i have experienced a lot of these 'events', i don't even feel afraid of them anymore.  What should i do? Is there even a point on asking for help? it feels like is just something that will keep happening forever, i mean, we will have another big earthquake some day, and probably i will be here when the time comes, will i get over it if it just keeps going back to me?   *~~sorry if my english is wrong or confusing, i'm not good writing if it involves more than two sentences.~~*  *~~also sorry for the frecuent ose of the word ""earthquake"" i don't know another word for it.~~*",0.8579,positive,afraid
895,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with trauma i didn't know i had,listener_1,2,Hey friend. It does sound like it can be PTSD. Try talking to your family about options for seeing a therapist,0.6908,positive,acknowledging
895,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with trauma i didn't know i had,speaker,3,"i'll try to convince my parents to take me to see one, thank you :)",0.7579,positive,wishing
895,MentalHealthSupport,Dealing with trauma i didn't know i had,speaker,4,"thank you a lot, i'll try to get help for this",0.6369,positive,wishing
896,MentalHealthSupport,(Advice wanted) How bad do you have to be to be ‘bad enough’?,speaker,1,"I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but I’ve had almost constant feelings of nothingness and an invisible weight on me for just over 2 years. I feel like it’s not bad enough because I can still go about my day just fine. How bad is bad enough? I’ve been told so many times that I’m fine, even by a counsellor. I’m at a loss now. I feel like I have to let it get worse just to make it real.",-0.6027,negative,lonely
896,MentalHealthSupport,(Advice wanted) How bad do you have to be to be ‘bad enough’?,listener_1,2,"If it has an effect on your day to day life, then consider it “bad”. You don’t deserve to suffer, get the help you need! You know how you feel, find a health professional who can validate you, or at least point you in the right direction.  In my own experience, by the time it’s “bad enough” I’ve waited far to long.",0.2481,positive,angry
896,MentalHealthSupport,(Advice wanted) How bad do you have to be to be ‘bad enough’?,speaker,3,"Thank you but I don’t really know.  I don’t assume anyone really knows where the line between ‘sad’ and ‘actual problem’ is, I don’t want to claim to be on the wrong side. But truly, thank you, your words are like a nice blanket right now.",0.9022,positive,neutral
896,MentalHealthSupport,(Advice wanted) How bad do you have to be to be ‘bad enough’?,listener_2,4,"You're welcome, I'm glad my words are comforting. But really, there is no line between 'sad' and 'actual problem'. You deserve to get help if you are getting weighed down by your feelings as you said you are. I did what you're doing for a little over a decade, telling myself that it wasn't bad enough, that I didn't need help, that I didn't have an actual problem. What I was actually telling myself was that I didn't deserve help because I wasn't sick enough. I was lying to myself. I did need help, I did deserve help, and so do you. You shouldn't have to go through this, and certainly not alone.",0.3001,positive,ashamed
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,1,"So recently I have been feeling really dull, everything I love doesn't make me happy to any extent anymore. It started back in May when me and my friends went to see a movie that I had anticipated for years and when I got there I didn't feel happy or sad or anything while my friends were all exited and some crying, and I know that doesn't sound bad cos I didn't think anything of it at the time but then my birthday came round. We went to a theme park and we went on a bunch if stuff but once again when I got home and while I was there I felt nothing but once again I thought it was just something my friends liked still and I'd grown out of but the real thing that made me post here was today. It's Christmas Eve and everybody in the family is having a party that we hosted and currently the party ended, I have tried to enjoy today but I just feel empty still I don't know what's wrong. I'm angry at myself because I love Christmas and yet I didn't enjoy today. Like I said its been going on for more than half a year I am going through puberty if that is something to do with it and there has been other examples of me feeling empty when everybody else is happy in the half year period, I do have to say there are exceptions. When I'm with my girlfriend and sometimes when somebody tells me a joke I do feel happy and sometimes I do laugh. If anybody can help then plz do, even if your not sure I just want suggestions on what to do Much appreciated.",0.9924,positive,sad
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_1,2,"depression blows man. you just have to ride it out, it doesnt sound from your post that you are suicidal which is really good. it will turn around and you will feel like your self again. maybe consider going to see a psychologist who ould help point you in the right direction.",-0.204,negative,suggesting
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,3,"I've tried seeing a therapist but it didn't work out, but thanks for the comforting commet",0.8126,positive,neutral
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_2,4,I'd suggest trying another therapist! Sometimes you have to go through a couple to find one that jibes with your brain,0.0,neutral,suggesting
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_3,5,"What religion is this geared towards? I’m curious due to another post of yours mentioning this where you talked about not feeling loved by, “the divine,” and that one is always up for interpretation. If it’s Christian, Mormon, etc? Because an actual *spirituality* form would be cool, not a thinly veiled attempt at converting people to a religion that they’ve already decided is not for them. I’m a Wiccan/Pagan.    “We are the creators of our own futures.” That’s just something I learned from therapy.    Seasonal depression is making me feel ehh, empty isn’t quite the right word, but it works.  Nothing makes me happy anymore. I don’t truly *enjoy* doing anything, except for cat naps with my kitten.  They’re depression/CFS naps. My CFS is a huge factor in my everyday life because even when I’m not depressed, I’m lacking energy to get things done.   I’m on medication for all of my mental health stuff, but am going to get a therapist again after the holidays.   This turned into a bit of a ramble.",0.9367,positive,questioning
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,6,Thx I'll check them out,0.3612,positive,hopeful
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_4,7,You're welcome. I hope you find something that helps you. I know how you're feeling and it sucks. <3,0.7579,positive,consoling
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,8,Thanks I've posted on three other subs and this is the only one that people have helped me with. It feels nice to know I'm not alone,0.7536,positive,trusting
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_4,9,"Oh that’s a bummer. Other subs are helpful I just think a lot of people might not be online today. But that’s a lonely feeling to get no responses.   And no, you’re not alone at all. You’ll always find people willing to help and lend and ear if you need one and many people who can empathize.   You can PM me if you need someone. <3",0.1179,positive,neutral
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,10,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,speaker,11,"OK I'll try it again, thanks for the input",0.7034,positive,acknowledging
897,MentalHealthSupport,I don't feel anything,listener_4,12,"It is not religious at all. It's whatever your personal belief system is. Whatever you bring to the table. However you connect with the divine force in your world--be it Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Allah, god/goddess, the universe, father sky, chi, your higher self, the ether...etc. Zero pushing of any religious agenda at all. Quite the opposite actually.",0.5574,positive,faithful
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,speaker,1,"Having a really bad manic episode today. Or maybe it is more so anxiety? But I just can't get my body or mind to calm down. I am trying to find more coping skills that help. So far, talking about it seems to help, so I am reaching out on here....   Regardless of what you celebrate, I hope you have had an amazing holiday. ❤",0.9881,positive,caring
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,listener_1,2,Sending love. Holidays are really hard for me. Make me have mixed episodes of depression and being agitated while not being able to calm down or sit down. Frustrated. Impatient. Cannot enjoy family shit. Just want my routine back because my routine makes me feel warm and comforted,0.1035,positive,sentimental
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,speaker,3,Yes! This is one of the best descriptions I've ever read about what goes on. Holiday season is just about over though!,0.8802,positive,excited
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,listener_1,4,Do not feel guilty or wrong for feeling how you feel.,-0.069,negative,ashamed
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,speaker,5,Lithium makes me really sick. Is it just like the lithium that is prescribed by a doctor?,-0.2716,negative,apprehensive
898,MentalHealthSupport,Holidays make me manic,listener_2,6,"No, it's a vitamin.",0.29600000000000004,positive,neutral
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,speaker,1,Recently I have noticed that there are a lot of books and movies about people with certain mental disorder and disability's although amitedly some do a bad job of prortraing the disorder/illness quite a few get it right. What disorder/illness or other such ailment would you like to see correctly portrayed in the media. Thank you for reading and happy holidays.,0.7351,positive,wishing
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,listener_1,2,I wish they would stop romanticizing mental illness,0.0,neutral,hopeful
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,speaker,3,Yes that is shit be there is a difference between romanticizing and representing something,0.0772,positive,agreeing
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,listener_1,4,"Well exactly, but most romanticize it to a point kids think it’s cool and self diagnose.",0.8243,positive,neutral
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,speaker,5,Could you tell me some examples? I couldn't think of any off the top of my head.,0.2023,positive,questioning
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,listener_2,6,13 reasons why jumps to mind for me,0.0,neutral,agreeing
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,speaker,7,The most famous example of a character with a mental illness is in fight club and they got DID completely wrong,-0.8268,negative,impressed
899,MentalHealthSupport,What do you wish was portrayed more in the media,speaker,8,Oh thanks I didn't think of that,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
900,MentalHealthSupport,This has changed what I can do in my life and idk how to deal with it.,speaker,1,"So, about 3-4 years back, I had a boyfriend (I am a female) and it was going well and I really liked him but when we ended up dating, i got very nervous about it and I’m not sure why. One minute I was ecstatic and very happy with the relationship and then the next minute, I was super nervous and just thought that I couldn’t do it. I had to end the relationship soon after and I didn’t even know how to explain it because i was confused myself. More recently, I had a relationship and it was going good for awhile and I thought maybe things were okay, and then I had this feeling without even dating them. We both liked eachother and it was great, but then I thought about it and it was very hard for me. There have been times when this happened and I would start breathing super heavy and had to move around to calm down. A relationship isn’t a priority for me at the moment, but when the time comes to settle down, I don’t want this to be a problem. This has been really hard anytime I’m interested in someone. No one I know has the same problem and there was one time when I told myself I would just power through it but it didn’t end up working anyways. I’m just not sure why all this happens or how to get over it or anything and I’m lost.",0.9725,positive,apprehensive
900,MentalHealthSupport,This has changed what I can do in my life and idk how to deal with it.,listener_1,2,"Wish I had a solution for you, but all I can offer is to say you’re not alone. In my case, I went through a pretty rough divorce and every relationship I’ve had since I get that same anxiety your describing and blow up the relationship and get out. Idk how to fix it other than to hope. I hope I can met someone who I either don’t feel the anxiety with or someone who is understanding enough to help me through. I hope the same thing for you! We’re not all broken toys out there right? Surly there’s somebody. Keep up the hope!",0.9819,positive,trusting
900,MentalHealthSupport,This has changed what I can do in my life and idk how to deal with it.,speaker,3,Thank you so much! I hope that the solution is finding someone to help me through it also! I hope everything is good with you as well!,0.9548,positive,encouraging
901,MentalHealthSupport,Do I have to shower ?,speaker,1,It takes a day for me to decompress from large groups of people.   Working from my bed today.  I know I have to get fresh air too.    My son and I are looking into getting a dog (rescue ) I love dogs - grew up with them   ... My therapist also feels it’s going to be a great addition for both me and my son.  He’s older and lives w me.   We will share the responsibility  Guess I’ll shower  I always feel better after I write here   Thank you for being here,0.9661,positive,hopeful
901,MentalHealthSupport,Do I have to shower ?,listener_1,2,"Showers are nice, do it",0.4215,positive,acknowledging
901,MentalHealthSupport,Do I have to shower ?,speaker,3,Wish I read this- went out  Didn’t last two hours Anxiety & sweats  Back home,0.25,positive,embarrassed
901,MentalHealthSupport,Do I have to shower ?,listener_2,4,"So sorry! Anxiety swears suck.... hopefully cracking a window can help next time this happens... let’s face it, there’s always a next time 😞 I completely relate",-0.4588,negative,consoling
902,MentalHealthSupport,Trust issues,speaker,1,"How do you guys deal with it? I'm having a hard time opening up to the people who love me and I'm scared they'll hurt me, I seem like an uninterested, cold and bland person to everyone because of it. Ples halp",0.0,neutral,questioning
902,MentalHealthSupport,Trust issues,listener_1,2,"Trust issues are so complicated and delicate and once broken they're hard to repair and it does color your future interactions with people when you've been hurt that deeply.   I have a process that I use that helped me get over my trust issues and I can certainly point you in the direction of the process I use.   I will say that trust is not just a two-person relationship--It's actually a four-person relationship.   Yes, you have to trust them and they have to trust you. That trust between each other has to be earned and has to be mutual. So that's the typical two-person ""trust goes both ways"" type of thing.  However, in my experience, the other two players when it comes to trust is how much you trust yourselves as well. So it's how much you trust them and yourself. But it's also how much they trust you and how much they trust themselves as well.   And bear with me here and I'll explain.   Let's say you're in a relationship (of any kind) and the person you're in the relationship with is a good person, worthy of being trusted, and they trust you and trust themselves to make good choices. However, if YOU don't trust yourself or them, then it will crumble. And the same thing happens in reverse. YOU could be the trustworthy one and trust yourself but THEY have trust issues and it could crumble.   The best advice I can give you is you have to learn to trust yourself first. Trust that you are making the right choices in who you're deciding to forge relationships with, trust that if things go south, you will be there for yourself and work through that heartache of a relationship not working out. Not self-abandoning is huge. If you have a relationship with someone where they hurt you or it doesn't work out and you walk away and don't ever work on those feelings of hurt, abandonment, pain, heartache, disappointment....etc that you have as a result of the fallout, then you are walking around unhealed and with trust issues because you never attended to your own emotional needs when you did get hurt and knocked down.   If you're able to tell yourself ""Hey, I know you're hurting and that person that you trusted broke your heart, but I'm here for you. How can I help you? How can I best support you, love you and help you heal? What do you need from me?"" and then allow yourself to lovingly attend to your painful feelings, then you will build up self-trust. After you have your self-trust in place, it makes it easier to make choices about who to trust. It also lessens the fear of abandonment and pain if/when things don't work out with someone if you know that you will be there for yourself to help you through the pain.   If you walk around feeling raw, tender, and easily triggered, then offering up closeness with someone (which takes trust) feels immensely terrifying and paralyzing. But if you know you will be there for yourself and you trust yourself, the fear diminishes greatly.   So that's taking care of self-trust. What you have zero control over is the other person. You can have self-trust and trust the other person and things can still not work out due to their own issues. But if that happens, at least you know YOU won't abandon yourself and break your heart. You can trust you to be there for yourself. You can trust yourself to attend to those painful feelings.   I hope that makes sense. Sorry for being so long-winded, but trust issues are difficult and complex and there are no easy quick answers.",0.9991,positive,trusting
902,MentalHealthSupport,Trust issues,speaker,3,*how to upvote a comment multiple times*,0.0,neutral,suggesting
902,MentalHealthSupport,Trust issues,listener_1,4,You're so very welcome! I hope you're able to find the help you need to move through your trust issues. <3,0.919,positive,consoling
903,MentalHealthSupport,i don't want to exist in 2020,speaker,1,"I've been suicidal for more than half my life. I really just feel at my breaking point and want my life over. I'm tired of looking to the bright side but I'm also terrified of messing up an attempt. I've tried therapy and medicine, it's all useless. What do I do?",-0.9153,negative,afraid
903,MentalHealthSupport,i don't want to exist in 2020,listener_1,2,"You begin by admitting to yourself that mental health is important. From that admission, you begin to find ways to help yourself.  Turn to family and friends for assistance, this is a huge step to getting rid of the stigma that comes with mental health. Once you have gathered your support system, start looking into ways of receiving treatment. Look for non-profit organizations in your area, such as community hospitals. Work with a social worker if needed to set up a treatment plan. Trust in professionals and you will be able to get all the help you need.",0.9485,positive,trusting
903,MentalHealthSupport,i don't want to exist in 2020,speaker,3,"I have already done all that. Nothing helps, life felt over a long time ago",-0.2924,negative,prepared
903,MentalHealthSupport,i don't want to exist in 2020,listener_1,4,Keep trying. Every life matters and you will be able to get out of the hypothetical hole you dug yourself in. Life is like that. People will tell you that mental health is not a real concern and that you should not be getting help. Keep pushing towards your own serenity and finding a better life for yourself. Everyone has dreams and things they want to do.,0.7385,positive,hopeful
903,MentalHealthSupport,i don't want to exist in 2020,speaker,5,I literally don't have dreams. I can't understand the point of existence so I constantly plead to be non-existent. I'm not sure how I can instill that there is a bigger purpose out there when it's all meaningless,-0.7286,negative,disappointed
904,MentalHealthSupport,hehheeehhehehe,speaker,1,iii am so worthless i bothered soneone so mcuj soday im a idoito ism such oa falure tays iys so fimmy,-0.7434,negative,sad
904,MentalHealthSupport,hehheeehhehehe,listener_1,2,i would recommend staying off subreddits that can trigger you.,0.3612,positive,acknowledging
904,MentalHealthSupport,hehheeehhehehe,speaker,3,Yes I have been doing that sometimes but I want to become stronger so then I'm not as badly triggered from them because when I'm older I want to do so ending with animals so I'm preparing myself kind of. Thank you for the reccomendation though.,0.954,positive,neutral
904,MentalHealthSupport,hehheeehhehehe,speaker,4,I am now I was having a breakdown sorry if I had scared you I wasn't sure what to do so I posted that. Thanks for the concern,-0.3098,negative,sympathizing
904,MentalHealthSupport,hehheeehhehehe,listener_2,5,No problemo,-0.29600000000000004,negative,annoyed
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,speaker,1,How the fuck did I get here ???  I don’t even understand what’s happening to me  My body aches,-0.7219,negative,sad
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,listener_1,2,"Anxiety causes physical symptoms, when it first happened to me I thought I was having a heart attack. I've had it since I was 14 and I'm 28 now. It still scares me.  The best thing to do is to go to a psychiatrist and discuss treatment options that you're comfortable with so you aren't miserable. I'm sorry you're dealing with this",0.8629,positive,terrified
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,speaker,3,Thank you  Due to the holidays  I haven been to a session it two weeks Need to sleep,0.6249,positive,sympathizing
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,listener_1,4,Absolutely feel free to reach out any time.,0.5688,positive,agreeing
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,listener_1,5,"Of course. Absolutely keep up with your therapy and definitely discuss more options since you aren't feeling well. Don't feel alone, you are welcome to reach out any time. I'm a great listener and I try to help as best as I can",0.9465,positive,agreeing
905,MentalHealthSupport,My anxiety is trying to rip my body to shreds,speaker,6,"Thank you.   I believe you, my back is not my own. I’m finally feeling calm and ready to see this night through.   I appreciate you writing to me and giving me comfort.   I’m so glad to be on the other side of that attack.   May we all be rested and protected 2020",0.9476,positive,grateful
906,MentalHealthSupport,I need help....,speaker,1,"First I need to explain the background in order to understand the level of stress and fear. It all started when I was staying with my husband and brother in law. I got into a fight with a girl who was supposed to be my friend, and she decided to tell my brother in law a lot of personal stuff that John and I did not want him to know. My baby was 6 months old at this time. So my husband was babysitting my little girl and I had a bad feeling. He always texts me and he answers my calls even if he falls asleep. I called a thousand times and then I received a call from CPS. They said that John left my baby in filth and was using heroin and abusing her. I knew this wasnt true. He had tests weekly on multiple days proving this. It turns out that they drugged him, stole his phone, and literally snatched my daughter and dumped her at a hospital. Since I told the CPS worker on the phone I will pack our things and leave they didn't meet me there and I was able to pick her up. Her doctor checked her over and there was no physical or sexual abuse. I had to return to my hometown and it took a year to find an apartment. I started to rebuild and normalize. But then when my husband got remarried, very strange things began to happen. John's apartment was broken into. Then two weeks after we moved in my apartment there was a guy staring in my window at 5am. I was awake because my daughter woke up crying for a drink and food and I could not move. I was so paralyzed with fear I couldn't move, he looked right at me. John's new wife would act innocent and kind but she was doing a lot behind our backs. Look, I get it, i was the first wife but I was completely respectful. We were buying each other gifts, purses, makeup, etc. She even bought my girl toys and clothes. But then she ran to John's dad and brother who are both absolutely insane (considering they kidnapped my child) and told them I'm destroying their marriage, I actually didnt even know they were married John didnt tell me. She had trichomoniasis and blamed it on me when I don't even have it, and that John and I prostituted ourselves for drugs, that I have AIDs. Because of this I am literally being stalked, harassed, and terrorized. My phone was hacked and sending messages to John and the same happened to him. The spy apps actually appeared on their family's bill. I downloaded apps to detect when my phone was being hacked, and Joe and Sonia literally had access to my phone, they took recordings, read my messages, and got my location. I am scared to death that Joe will kill my daughter and I. The police said I have to come in and file a report which I am doing but I'm pretty certain this will change nothing.   I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety, manic depression, and PTSD. There are days I cannot function. I've been to so many doctors and have had so many meds. The medication for my anxiety does nothing. I am literally making myself so sick that I've developed acid reflux disease. Please be kind, but I am also a recovering pain pill addict. I have no desire to take them and I remain in treatment but it feels like nothing is changing. I'm so sad constantly. I lost my best friend Jacob in 2017 and it's like I'm a hollow person. The PTSD is from years of abuse. When my father died in 2006 I was 14. My mother did not care about being a parent anymore and just fed me pain pills to keep me out of her hair. My stepdad physically and sexually abused me which is why I got married when I was 18. I escaped a cruel man, only to deal with the family who kidnapped my daughter. The abuse from all of them was too much. Even now I panic when I take my clothes off to shower. I have flashbacks. My mother was never a mother, and still treats me like absolute trash. When my daughter and I had to stay with her she argued with me everyday and told me to get out. She demanded my medication, money, anything I had. I thought I would escape that when I moved in my own apartment but she is here everyday screaming for everything. I can do a little but I have a child. If I dont have cigarettes or whatever she screams. She pounded on my door so loud I thought the cops would be called! I feel like I am suffocating. When I am not dealing with her I am worrying about my ex in laws coming to kill me..  If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. Because feeling this way is horrible.",-0.999,negative,afraid
906,MentalHealthSupport,I need help....,listener_1,2," First I'd say you need to file that report with the police. It's true that nothing may come of it, but at least then your story is in a file somewhere that can be referred back to in the event that this escalates further.  Secondly you should try to find a therapist. Therapy has been the single most effective process for my own mental health (depression, anxiety, ptsd). It can be hard finding someone you trust and even harder to open up to said person, but it pays off in that they can help you understand what's going on in your brain and body and point you to techniques and resources that can help. Idk what kind of money you have available to you but there are some free or at least ""affordable"" counsellors or therapists online. You can likely find something that works for you if you look around.  The main thing here is to keep yourself, and by extension your daughter, safe. To do that you may need to cut contact with a few people, including your mother. Having her around sounds like it's a detriment to your mental and physical health, and it will affect your daughter sooner than you think considering that the majority of our neural pathways are formed within our first few years of life.",0.962,positive,suggesting
906,MentalHealthSupport,I need help....,speaker,3,"Thank you so much. I just need to change counselors I used to love him but now he'll talk for 5 minutes and he kind of doesnt really care anymore. That's kinda what I thought too, because ever since the spyware was added to the phone, it has been so slow and it wouldn't be, because it's only 1 month old. Absolutely, my mother is literally knocking on my door everyday asking for stuff when I have a family to support. She literally doesn't care about that fact and actually, shes done everything she could to hold me back in life including getting CPS called when my daughter was days old. She was born sick so she had to stay in the NICU. She showed up high as a kite and the social worker was already being an asshole. She told that they ""watch all the moms on the floor"" and acted like I just hang with my mom and party. CPS showed up with a drug test swab and once it came back negative they left me alone. But it was still a 30 day ordeal that I shouldn't of had to go through, it made me sick. I was there every single day that my daughter was in the hospital and I told my mom because of her behavior I was afraid to even be there since social services was harassing me every time I was there. So my mom tells the nurse that I didnt wanna see my baby so of course she told social services which wasnt even true! I just didnt like the fact that I was literally being harassed visiting my sick baby! Thankfully it worked out but I never forgave her for it. The one time she should of acted right she couldn't!",-0.9853,negative,annoyed
907,MentalHealthSupport,I was about to allow my son adopt a dog but the idea elevated my anxiety,speaker,1,He says he’s responsible but at the end of the day he’s not  Now I’m in the dog house  But I didn’t want to bring a dog into our already tension filled home  and as much as he said he wanted the dog - he didn’t do the prep work this week to get the place ready for a dog  No dog bowls No cage  No leach  NOTHING   He wanted to wing it before we picked up the dog tomorrow    I know it would be a financial burden for me and I’m almost 90% certain  I’d have to take care of the dog   So no dog &  I’ll have to sleep with one eye open.,-0.4561,negative,angry
907,MentalHealthSupport,I was about to allow my son adopt a dog but the idea elevated my anxiety,listener_1,2,"How hard is it to take 30 minutes to go get a leash and bowl and bed for the dog your son desperately wants? Honestly, while I respect your position, that’s kind of a big punishment for “ not doing the prep work” especially if you told him he could get a dog. That would devastate me as a kid and cause quite a bit more tension than having a pet on top of the family aggression. I really urge you to reconsider this decision and come up with more logical stipulations. I’m a very “ spare the rod, spoil the child” type parent and even I think this is a bit much. The responsibility that comes with raising a pup you might fine will ease your situation and help your son grow.",-0.2944,negative,questioning
907,MentalHealthSupport,I was about to allow my son adopt a dog but the idea elevated my anxiety,speaker,3,I didn’t mention  He’s almost 21 I’m not going to do the prep work  I’m not going to watch someone wing it  W a rescue  Who already was returned by the last owner  Still don’t see my point  See It’s not about agreeing,0.3103,positive,apprehensive
907,MentalHealthSupport,I was about to allow my son adopt a dog but the idea elevated my anxiety,listener_1,4,"Your son is an adult and can afford his own dog if he wants it, after that clarification, that isn’t your responsibility.",0.0,neutral,neutral
908,MentalHealthSupport,Does any of it matter?,speaker,1,"I have no friends, my family sees me as a burden. I messed up my life as an 18 year old going into the wrong degree, and now three years later I've I wasted too much money for that lost cause. I constantly fail my classes and I don't have much to show for my long time at school. I keep getting asked what my life plan is when I don't have one.   Truth be told that's the least of my worries because I just don't see a life for myself. I've never planned it and have extremely self destructive behavior. I anxiously await death but it never comes. Everything is so meaningless. I just want to overdose or hang myself and finally have it over with. I'm so tired of it all. I don't want to exist. I'm more effort than I'm worth. I'm not scared of dying anymore so why can't I just kill myself?",-0.9496,negative,ashamed
908,MentalHealthSupport,Does any of it matter?,listener_1,2,"Part of healing destructive behavior is acknowledging it, and you just did that.   You’ve walked through fire, girl. Khadija Bint Khuwaylid, Fatima al-Fihri, Sultan Raziyya , all families thought they were burdens too. You had the drive to stand up for what you believe in and that makes you a warrior, not a failure.   Degrees don’t work out. Life changes. We go through the motions, and ,my word, it hurts sometimes. Your life is not a measure of exactly how many classes you’ve taken or how far you’ll go if you gain the most academic experience. Your life is a measure of the morals you hold as an individual and how you use them to empower the world around you.   Life is beautiful, fleeting, floating on the wind and touching soul by soul, bringing fire and passion to us. Learn to live it instead of judging yourself. Holding yourself accountable does not mean you can’t forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made so far. You didn’t know. That’s why they’re called mistakes. Your family is not responsible for the person you will become, you are. The world is not responsible for showing you your true purpose, you are. Find a passion, find the thing that tears at your soul and to do that, degree be damned. My granny went to clown college because she wanted to, judgement be damned.   I admit I browsed a bit and I saw how far you’ve come already in the few comments you’ve left elsewhere. Just keep going. Don’t stop, whatever you do or you’ll lose your balance. When the time finally comes that you’ve gotten there and the peace is flowing through your soul, you’ll know it.",-0.7288,negative,proud
908,MentalHealthSupport,Does any of it matter?,speaker,3,"Thank you, you're incredibly thoughtful.  I'm going to sleep on everything you've said. Your last paragraph will definitely stay with me and I'll continue to think about it. I hope life is good to you kind stranger <3",0.9459,positive,acknowledging
909,MentalHealthSupport,"Trying to not tolerate going into work when I feel ill, but I think this will bring conflict.",speaker,1,"I really wasn't sure what was the best sub to express this issue on, but I decided to go on here as my mental health is definitely relevant to this (I have GAD, problems with stress and depression).  I have recently got a cold, I've had it for a week now and it seems to be never going away and getting worse, and I'm worried that work will think I'm pathetic for calling in sick for the 4th day in a row.   Lately I have been thinking of how to make my life better in terms of how I can be healthier, self care basically, one of the things I decided on was that I wasn't going to tolerate going into work if I didn't feel well enough for it (not including mental health though, as I'd never go in)!   I hate colds, and I feel like colds always hit me hard, I had multiple colds last year and would still go into work, either taking just the one day off or no days off and putting up with it, but I want to say no to that this year as I know that's not healthy. However, I think my plan to be better to myself is going to have conflict with work, as work expect you to go in even if you're ill. I get this sense because when I was doing training, I noticed staff members being in despite being ill. There seems to be a ""take loads of pain killers and deal with it"" culture, which I'm completely against and don't want to follow.   I do have bad anxiety (GAD) which was already making me feel anxious about going into work and making me not have motivation to go in, probably doesn't help when I get a cold, I struggle as it is to go into work, but I feel like making the decision to be better to myself and to listen to my body is going to be seen as pathetic. I feel like they're probably thinking I am pathetic or lazy, because I have a cold they might see that as being dramatic (but I really do feel ill, plus it keeps getting worse despite me trying to treat it), considering someone working in the hr team came in with an infected wisdom tooth and took loads of painkillers to cope with it, I probably seem like I whimp for wanting to be off over a cold.  Does anyone else get the sense that work don't expect us to look after ourselves when we're ill? Or that doing so makes us look pathetic or weak?",-0.9976,negative,apprehensive
909,MentalHealthSupport,"Trying to not tolerate going into work when I feel ill, but I think this will bring conflict.",listener_1,2,"I cant speak for your workplace but I think at mine a lot of the pushing through attitude is self inflicted. It is common for someone who is sick to come into work and have everyone tell them to go home, including the boss. No one wants to catch what they have, they look miserable, and probably take longer to recover. But like you said we all feel guilty for taking time off. The thing is that at my work we dont think of people taking a week off sick as lazy, we wonder if they are ok.   I agree that our well being is more important than our work, but jobs are also important in being able to look after ourselves so we definately need balance. It sounds like you are not taking unnecessary days off and if it is getting worse you should probably stay home and go see a doctor. If you have a doctors certificate I dont think anyone is going to argue that you should have been at work and the doctor might be able to suggest something to help you recover.  Hoping you feel better soon.",-0.5941,negative,ashamed
909,MentalHealthSupport,"Trying to not tolerate going into work when I feel ill, but I think this will bring conflict.",speaker,3,"I'm not sure how my work is with people being unwell, as I've not been there for long, but it made me feel slightly concerned when I noticed a lot of people saying how ill they were but are still in. My work doesn't offer sick leave unless you've been ill for ages, so I guess that could be why! But for me missing a few days of work not getting paid is worth it compared to struggling when really ill!   But I've not been lucky with previous jobs and being ill, especially in retail, I was forced to go in even though I'd be in excruciating pain with a sore throat (sometimes not even able to speak), or I'd be told off for not being able to come in. I get ill quite a lot as well, I usually have 4 colds a year and I get migraines pretty often so I guess that's why previous employers haven't liked me!   I do like to work, I don't like this job though and it is quite a pressurizing job, I have been having bad anxiety over this job which doesn't help me feel the motivation to go in, the hour commute doesn't help and when I'm feeling like this the underground for an hour seems like the worst! But I do need to go back for money if anything else!   And thank you! The cold seems to keep getting worse but I'm hoping I'll start feeling better after today!",-0.9914,negative,apprehensive
909,MentalHealthSupport,"Trying to not tolerate going into work when I feel ill, but I think this will bring conflict.",listener_1,4,"It's really hard when a workplace is like that. My husband got some of that when he worked in retail too. At least here the laws mean that there was nothing his boss could do because he was entitled to sick leave.  I can see why you are anxious about this. I honestly think if you are contagious or if your work is going to suffer from your cold you should stay home. But that is very easy for me to say because of how supportive my work is, and I don't know what will be best for you, sorry. I hope they dont cause you too much trouble.",0.8999,positive,trusting
909,MentalHealthSupport,"Trying to not tolerate going into work when I feel ill, but I think this will bring conflict.",speaker,5,"Annoyingly my manager said that if I'm sick tomorrow than I have to get a sick note from a doctor, which will cost money! So that looks like I'm going in regardless of how I feel because I'm not going to be able to pay £25 for a sick note :/ plus a doctor isn't going to want to see someone with a cold, there isn't much they can do to change a cold other than say to take paracetamol!  I know that there are laws that will cover things, but I can't remember what my contract says, and that's part of the problem I've already signed the contract now so whatever it says on there is how my sickness is dealt with!   Colds are incredibly contagious, so I know it's best for me not to go near anyone, but I think work really want me in! Looks like I'll be going in tomorrow regardless!",-0.4399,negative,angry
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),speaker,1,"She says she's going through a 'Mental Block'. I know the source of it if that helps. She can't ""feel"" anything emotionally. Only fleeting. She feels like a lot of her past is slowly coming up from being buried and it's affecting her life. I feel like it's had her whole outlook scrambled and she is still piecing it together. She feels lost. Not just affecting our relationship but in all blocks of her life. I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, but it's really hard on me also. She doesn't show affection because of this mental block and she knows I notice, and I feel like that only makes it harder. Still I do everything I can and I do my best to be supportive and understanding, but I don't want to be too much and end up pushing her away. I try to act fine but I also have a history of depression and anxiety issues and this whole thing is making my mental health issues flare up big time.     I've suggested therapy to her a few times but she says she waits until she gives up on being able to help herself before thinking about doing that. I know therapy helps me immensely and I would 100% be going to therapy right now if I had health insurance.     I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. I just want to help this woman I want to marry one day get back to the bubbly, loving, affectionate person I fell in love with.",0.976,positive,caring
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),listener_1,2,"Shes going through a tough spot, but be there for her as far as is safe for you.   Stay confident and dont start mimicking her psychological patterns. Try and be loving and supportive and give her an example to mimick.  Best luck to you stranger",0.9815,positive,wishing
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),speaker,3,"Thank you. I'm going to work on my mental health and be a healthy example in the mean time. I'm a naturally patient person, but sometimes my own brain gets the best of me.",0.8555,positive,faithful
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),listener_1,4,Hell yeah.,-0.5267,negative,agreeing
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),speaker,5,Thanks friend. I'm definitely going to keep busy and stay active. I'm going to make myself the least difficult thing to deal with.,0.912,positive,agreeing
910,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know how to help my GF (Seeking Advice),listener_2,6,Yeah I would either help her stay busy too or maybe get her a journal to write her things down in like when she’s feeling good maybe she can challenge the bad thoughts with you too  Please don’t think you’re difficult to deal with it must be a little hard on you too to see someone you love hurting like this I’ll pray for the both of you,0.9117,positive,suggesting
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,speaker,1,"Hi everyone. My name is Isa and I’m 16. I don’t want this explanation to be super lengthy so here’s the short version:  In 2018 I reconnected with a friend I had met when I was super little. We weren’t super close before but we quickly became best friends. We were inseparable. We did everything together. He was my world.   Earlier this year he spontaneously decided he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore and did some real low stuff to “get rid of me.” To put it in short this boy. Fucked. Me. Over. It’s taken me a good 8 months to really get back to a stable place after this. What he did was a little traumatic.   I haven’t seen him since March of this year. In the next week and a half there’s a winter dance I want to go to. I found out that he’s going to be there. After learning this I wasn’t going to go, but I really do want to have fun with my friends. I’m not going to the dance with anyone specifically, but with two people in my inner circle.   I’m prone to panic/anxiety attacks in situations where I know I will be anxious. I’ve never been to therapy before (I refuse to go. I’m stubborn, I know) so I have no experience with coping mechanisms and tips/tricks to use to mentally and emotionally prepare myself beforehand, and what to do while in the middle of these anxious situations.   What are some basic things I can do to help myself prepare in the coming week before I see him, and while I’m there if I happen to panic or something like that?   Thank you everyone!",0.9405,positive,sentimental
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,listener_1,2,have you tried meditating? might sound silly but deep breathing techniques really do help calm your nervous system so you can think about situations rationally. Ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen?” and think it through ok if that happens then so what? etc.,0.3406,positive,questioning
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,speaker,3,Perhaps I’ll try it. I can always escape somewhere quiet while I’m there and see if it helps. Thank you!,0.7263,positive,suggesting
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,listener_1,4,This isn’t something you do just at that moment. Try practicing it everyday to see actual improvement in your anxiety related issues.,0.3182,positive,neutral
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,speaker,5,I understand now. I’ll see if it improves over the course of the next week!,0.4753,positive,agreeing
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,listener_1,6,if you do happen to see him do you have to interact with him? is it possible to just stay w your friends or whoever you’re going with and just avoid being in spaces near him. If you do get panicked try to go to a bathroom or someplace quiet. Breathe in deeply for 4 seconds hold for 5 sec and exhale deeply for 7 seconds. Do this multiple times until your heart rate relaxes,0.6808,positive,questioning
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,speaker,7,"Possibly yes, but this boy is a total drama queen and ive known that since I met him. I can foresee him trying to make a scene to make me upset because he’ll know it will work.   If I try really hard I can put on a poker face when talking to him but I’m scared it’ll sent me straight into a panic afterwards and I’ll spend the rest of the night frozen on the bathroom floor 😅",-0.8068,negative,apprehensive
911,MentalHealthSupport,How to prepare for an anxious situation,speaker,8,I already know this will help immensely if I find myself in an emergency situation. Thank you so much for your help. After the big night I’ll let you know how it goes! 😊😊,0.9485,positive,trusting
912,MentalHealthSupport,"Gah, numb",speaker,1,"I don't have anybody to talk to nor I want to burden anybody with my annoying rants, but like, I feel so hopeless with getting something that I like since I need money to get it, and I tried looking for part time jobs since I'm still in school and every time I thought about me talking to other people, I just feel anxious, I didn't know I had social anxiety until recently, I always stutter and/or freeze up when talking to people that I'm not comfortable with, and these world crisis isn't helping me much either. I thought about ending it, even though I don't feel suicidal, it's been a long time since my last attempt, but if I did do it, and my parents knew that I just wanted this stupid little thing that I'm so obsessed about, would they be willing to give it to me when it's already too late, or what if I told them right now, would they just tell me to stop it, or if I told them it's something that'll cheer me up alot and distract me from my mental problems, would they give it to me without hesitation, but I'd live in guilt for it, idk I just felt like I wanted to dump these collection of letters, arranged into a paragraph and I feel like it makes no sense, well, if any of you read this whole thing, I don't expect any help or tips or anything, this is just a random rant.   You can move on even if you didn't read everything.",-0.9889,negative,lonely
912,MentalHealthSupport,"Gah, numb",listener_1,2,"First of all, you sound a lot like me.   And I just want to let you know... you have nothing to feel guilty for.   I am 20 years old and I don’t even have a job because my social anxiety and all around mental state is in such horrible conditions. I’ve felt guilty for so so so long and for so many reasons and I feel like such a burden. Because I feel like I’m not where I’m “supposed to be” or “successful in life” it really gets me down sometimes.   And about you wanting to end your life, I feel that way constantly... I feel like there’s no way possible that I’ll ever be “enough” for this world.. and my parents (mostly my narcissistic mom) make me feel that way a lot also.   But I just want to let you know right now... you are not the problem. It sounds like you’re in the process of healing. And when you’re in the process of healing you are in no way ready for a job or anything “overstimulating” because it can actually make you feel more depressed, anxious, etc. and make you more suicidal. People fail to understand that sometimes. They think you should be doing this, and that, and ALL this stuff. But those people know nothing about mental health and will make you feel guilty for the rest of your life. I truly believe it isn’t you who’s making you feel guilty.. I believe it’s other people who expect certain things from you and lack understanding.  What you need to do is take your mental health seriously, despite what anyone else feels or thinks. And you sound like you need something to comfort you or something to use as a coping mechanism. I have so many of those things. (You may find this weird) but I have baby dolls, stuffed animals, toys, notebooks, art supplies, coloring books, cartoons, etc. that are all MY coping mechanisms and way of comfort.   So it doesn’t matter what this thing is, it doesn’t sound like you want it, it sounds like you need it. And don’t ever feel silly or stupid about it. There are so many people who have so many different ways of coping with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. and they are CRUCIAL and very mandatory.   I would suggest (if you haven’t already) tell your parents what you’re dealing with and ask if they will purchase this thing for you because you need something to genuinely help you and could improve your mental health. And if they won’t do it, ask one of your grandparents.. and if they won’t do it, ask an aunt, uncle, etc. just do your best to get what you NEED in order to heal, cope, etc. Also if you go to a therapist.. some therapist are even nice enough to get you something that you can’t get yourself.   There is no shame in it. And there is no correct way to heal/cope. Everyone has their own ways.   Also I would suggest (coming from my own personal experience) if you need to isolate yourself, isolate yourself. If people ask you to do this or that or go here or there with them or people invite you to things or you feel obligated to attend something because you’re afraid of making others upset..... stop that now.  Stop saying yes - Start saying no. (That’s one of my goals for 2020)   Sometimes the best thing for yourself, is just being alone with yourself. Forced interactions and faked enthusiasm is really hard on someone dealing with something internal. Start serving yourself and your own needs. ❤️   I hope you don’t think I’m just “being nice” or trying to pity you. Actually, the only reason I commented on this is because I felt moved to. Just from reading your post I could feel exactly how you felt and have been there myself. And based on the fact you’re in highschool and old enough for a job, I assume you’re 16-18 and those years were some of the hardest for me. Simply because I didn’t know how to value myself and I didn’t understand my own needs because I constantly set mine aside for others. I thought I was young and that anything I said was stupid, didn’t matter, or wouldn’t be taken seriously. And that’s not true!! Age doesn’t matter, if you are being genuine and honest in your words... people should listen!!! Especially if it has anything to do with mental health.   So please, take my advice and don’t feel guilty for doing what you need to do.   I send you nothing but love, hope, and good luck 🍀 xoxo",0.383,positive,ashamed
912,MentalHealthSupport,"Gah, numb",speaker,3,❤❤,0.8555,positive,grateful
913,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help but I'm not sure I need help.,speaker,1,"As a kid I've lived in fear of the adults in my family until I reached 16 years of age. I come here because I'm too scared to go to a therapist. I have no money, and I feel like everything I'm feeling could possibly just be my own weakness like I'm making an excuse. Growing up my grandma, mom, and Dad have threatened spanking me which is fine, but they use this weapon of fear to subdue me to listen and it worked. What frightened me wasn't the spanking but the look of hate in their eyes, and volume of voice when reprimanding me. I always knew they loved me but I've always had this fear that they'd kick me out. As a child this was my greatest fear. Of being hated, even though logically I knew that wasn't ever going to happen. I was spoiled and pretty much got whatever I wanted.  My mom is a single parent, my grandma had a rough childhood, and my dad isn't even my dad, but he's the only man who tried to raise me. He's also bipolar and doesn't take any medication or go to therapy. As I grew up, fear turned to anger. My mom and I were in a fight and she was walking up to me like she wanted to fist fight and she got in my face. I pushed her really hard and yelled, ""FINE! YOU WANT TO FIGHT LETS FIGHT!!!"" This was the start of everything. As I got older I became scared I could possibly hurt someone and resorted to getting mad at myself as well as started doing self harm. But my boyfriend, who I live with now, says I can't cut myself anymore. I don't do it for suicide, but for punishment. We have concrete walls where I live and if I'm feeling an episode and if I'm alone, I'll start punching the walls. My knuckles bruise but they don't bleed.  Being in a relationship I always feel like I'm doing things wrong and that he's going to kick me out. He tells me he won't but I feel like he can't help it if he gets tired of the bullshit.  But yeah. How do I know that something is wrong with me instead of something I've done to myself?",-0.9977,negative,terrified
913,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help but I'm not sure I need help.,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. You definitely need to find help. No one who choses to hurt themself is alright, it’s a warning.",0.3818,positive,agreeing
913,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help but I'm not sure I need help.,speaker,3,Thanks for the honesty and yeah. Sounds logical.,0.8074,positive,agreeing
913,MentalHealthSupport,I think I need help but I'm not sure I need help.,speaker,4,I don't know how to look for help.,0.4019,positive,afraid
914,MentalHealthSupport,My friends got together and made a list of reasons why they hate me,speaker,1,"so I have been going through a LOT of changes lately and it’s been affecting me a LOT, my first therapist appointment ever is on Thursday, thank god. i went through my first breakup and it’s been devastating. everything has changed since then. my mental health is the worst it’s ever been, it’s affecting everybody around me and I feel awful about it. I have been apologizing constantly and keeping my distance from everybody because i really don’t know what to do. I don’t want everyone to be a victim of my own bad mental health. I hate this   I have a very good girl group of friends. the other day I was unnecessarily mean to one of them at work and I feel bad about it, and I’ve apologized a bunch and now i don’t know what to do. another one of those gal pals had feelings for me a couple of years ago and I had absolutely no idea until a year ago when somebody told me on accident. I just found out all of those friends got together and made a list of reasons why they hate me, and discussed it with everybody at a party, now i don’t know what to do. the things I’ve heard on the list aren’t true about me. one of them were “BRAGGING about (said friend) having feelings for me.” i never did. i simply told another one of my friends about it after I found out, and that’s it. she’s telling everybody I led her on when i didn’t. I had no clue.   i’m just posting this because it feels like an awful situation, and I want to know I’m not being dramatic about being upset over this. I’ve never had friendship issues like this, and i don’t know why it’s happening at the beginning of the new year. it can only get better from here",-0.8558,negative,guilty
914,MentalHealthSupport,My friends got together and made a list of reasons why they hate me,listener_1,2,"No, you’re not being dramatic. This is the most natural reaction to friends being snakes. People are always going to be fake to some extent. Personally, music is really theraputic for me. Listen to some music you relate to, and maybe even play along with it on an instrument if you know how to. Hope this helps. Best of luck :)",0.9652,positive,wishing
914,MentalHealthSupport,My friends got together and made a list of reasons why they hate me,listener_2,3,Took the words right outta my mouth,0.0,neutral,ashamed
915,MentalHealthSupport,I hurt two friends in one night,speaker,1,"Again.... I feel like a cactus, my friends wanna hug me because I'm like this and they get hurt because of my idiocy, my mental state is spiralling down again",0.7783,positive,ashamed
915,MentalHealthSupport,I hurt two friends in one night,listener_1,2,"I am in this exact situation! we’re only human. what your mental health makes you do sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person, even if you feel like you are. I hope everything gets better for you :)",0.7959,positive,consoling
915,MentalHealthSupport,I hurt two friends in one night,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,speaker,1,"for my whole life ive dealt with really bad depression severe anxiety and what my docs call possible signs of early schitzophrenia.. the symptoms would be audibly hearing people, seeing people, thinking people are watching me in really crazy ways and its suckss a lot. ive only ever dealt with my issues with narcotics ever since ive been 12 its really unhealthy and im suicidal to an unfortunate point.. i dont wanna contimplate my life till 3 am every morning whilst feeling like people i know are watching me... i need grounding tips please help me i cant be alone anymore and it hurts me my doctors change my meds a lot and im not sure if thats good for me.",-0.962,negative,afraid
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,listener_1,2,"Hi. I have a friend who had a problem like this. I hope this works for you as well.   The main idea is to feel in control of the voices or visuals. So imagine you invite everyone for a skit, and a huge portion of the skit is you sleeping. They have to watch it, and will be able to see your dreams- all being part of the skit.   If you keep seeing or hearing things, you can also make a puppet show out of it. It's kind of how our brains form dreams as well. There are things going off in our heads, and we make sense of it by making this fantastical story.   Best of luck, and keep us posted please! Try to do these strategies, and similar ones. Then let us know next week and next month :)",0.9861,positive,trusting
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,speaker,3,thanks for the advice never thought of that before but could b a lifesaver..,0.7992,positive,acknowledging
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,listener_1,4,Lmkkkk,0.0,neutral,nostalgic
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,listener_1,5,Lemme know how it goes!,0.0,neutral,encouraging
916,MentalHealthSupport,daily living/grounding advice?,speaker,6,yeah im always very self aware i have a very understanding girlfriend that im very fortunate to have who manages to somewhat keep me in place even when things are falling apart,0.5849,positive,trusting
916,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_2,1,"Using a throwaway account to get some advice on how to help my wife.    I'm not really sure where to start or how to go about this, so I'll start with what I think is the main issue, weight. My wife has always been thin and has had better than average physical fitness. However, in the last 8-10 month my wife has gained around 15kgs(33lbs) and I think it taking a toll on her mentally and affecting her daily life.      She constantly talks about how she needs to lose weight in the mornings. She'll talking about starting a fad diet or exercise, but in the evenings she does a 180 and refuses. I've always been a heavier guy but in the last few months I decided to start exercising and eating better. I did it for myself but also in mind that maybe it would help my wife get motivated, but it's been to no avail.    She has always been kind of a neat freak and makes a priority to clean things up. However, these days she doesn't seem to care how clean things are and rarely puts effort into cleaning.    She constantly has a negative mindset towards everything. We've tried to take spontaneous trips, bought gifts, plenty of date nights, but she always seems unsatisfied with things.     Some other details.. I'm an American and she's Korean, and we live in Korea. I know she's grown up in  a culture that internalizes emotions and doesn't seek support from others. We dated for three years and over time she began to talk about things much more but that came to a sudden halt in early 2019.   She tells me all the time that she is so grateful that she married me because I'm patient, kind and loves her well. However, I've reached a point where I don't know what to do anymore and it kills me to see her seem so miserable everyday.      Any advice as to what I should do first?  I'd prefer not involve family and friends, but if it's necessary then I'm willing to try it.",0.9517,positive,apprehensive
916,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_3,2,"Man that sucks. I can't really help you with that because I'm no expert but at least I can share my point of view and experience. What you described sounds like pure depression. Dealing with depression is tough because your wife will not be fighting depression but herself. It's about those little things, try finding something that will make her happy. Workout could actually help, but she have to start slowly. Running for 10 minutes every day? Or set easily achievable goals. But don't push it too hard, it could make it worse. Depression sucks because there's no universal cure for it. If nothing helps try finding professional therapy. Hope she'll get better soon.",0.1277,positive,acknowledging
916,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_4,3,I agree with you but maybe if she doesn’t want to workout anymore or such help her to start meditating on relaxing and then build up to meditating on her issue? Or maybe a therapist can help I definitely get the whole minorities being against therapy deal though it’s hard and we think it’s a weak thing to do so it’s tough having the courage to go,0.9416,positive,suggesting
916,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_5,4,"Hi no expert but at least I can share my point of view and experience, I'm Dad👨",0.29600000000000004,positive,neutral
916,MentalHealthSupport,Need Advice,listener_6,5,"Second this. She might benefit from seeing a counselor or psychiatrist, or even just talking about it her normal doctor.",0.4588,positive,suggesting
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,speaker,1,"It stated 2 years ago when I first smoked weed. I felt I was three : 1. Aggressive voice 2 . Who told it shut up 3. Who was interacted with people around, holding conversations.  Now I have this voice when I'm  drunk. I'm scared, am I dangerous  to  society?",-0.8402,negative,afraid
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,listener_1,2,"You are not a danger to society. I would definitely go see a doctor if you haven’t already. If the voices only appear when drunk or high, try and avoid going out in public if you can. Even put away your phone as you may unwantedly message someone or post something.",0.2206,positive,agreeing
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,speaker,3,"Thank you, now it is happening  when I drink. It never happened to me when drunk. I thought I was weed intolerant but now I realize  problem is in my head.",-0.5423,negative,grateful
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,speaker,4,"I don't  think it is weed or drink that can be blamed. I think I might have a mental disorder and alcohol  and weed just triggers it. It is my worst nightmare to hurt anyone. Just for information I'm  veg activists love people and animals support abused people. I can describe  myself as altruistic.  But iiner voice says wake up murderer inside you. I'm scared.  I called a doctor for appointment. I overcome  lots of abuse both psychological and psychological  since I know myself. Maybe just my brain is playing  a game with me, or maybe I'm  ill. Idk.",-0.9788,negative,afraid
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,listener_2,5,i hope that everything gets straightened out for you. it sounds like you're in a scary place :(,-0.1779,negative,consoling
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,listener_3,6,I saw a :( so heres an :) hope your day is good,0.7322,positive,consoling
917,MentalHealthSupport,Sos help please,listener_2,7,you too!,0.0,neutral,agreeing
918,MentalHealthSupport,Isolation,speaker,1,I feel bad im trying to assert some confidence like my therapist told me i asked my girlfriend to make some time for me tomorrow she gets home late with her friends tonight and i another to make time for me because this will be the only day i have she also wants to go to her friends Tomorrow. She asked why i told her i don't want to be alone i was isolated from most everyone from when i was 16 to 19. (With the exception of school) I don't like being alone yet i hate crowds of people is my fear valid or am i being ridiculous.  Idc she's hanging out with them but i don't want to be alone rn i just want someone i can trust to hold me.,0.0441,neutral,ashamed
918,MentalHealthSupport,Isolation,listener_1,2,"I don’t think you are irrational. It is normal and also good to want those you trust to be around you, especially in times where you are working through heavy feelings/emotions/thoughts or past experiences. My advice would be to try to explain to her as best you can what you’re going through so she knows you’re not just asking her to ditch her friends or whatever, but that you genuinely want to be around her and that it would be positive for your mental health to be able to spend time together. BUT don’t make her feel responsible for you mental well-being! Putting that burden on her could be too much and could be a burden on your relationship. Just be honest with her and invite her into you vulnerable thoughts and feelings. More communication is almost always better.",0.9385,positive,trusting
918,MentalHealthSupport,Isolation,speaker,3,I asked her if she could just spend time with me until her friends where ready.  Idk i feel bad about it i never asked anything like that before.,-0.1053,negative,guilty
918,MentalHealthSupport,Isolation,listener_1,4,"That’s okay to feel that way but don’t let it keep you from reaching out for help. Your feelings are valid! But again, the more you can communicate to her the better, so she knows where it’s coming from!",0.8918,positive,neutral
919,MentalHealthSupport,Getting new scripts next week,speaker,1,All this work and now I’m getting more meds  :-(,-0.4173,negative,annoyed
919,MentalHealthSupport,Getting new scripts next week,listener_1,2,i hope the best outcome for you,0.7964,positive,consoling
919,MentalHealthSupport,Getting new scripts next week,speaker,3,Thank you!  I guess it will be better than this feeling,0.7345,positive,wishing
920,MentalHealthSupport,"23 year old guy, broke up with someone for the first time, I don't understand relationships, I grew up in a dysfunctional household, I just need someone to talk to",speaker,1,"I'm transgender female to male if that matters... things were okay and we could have been friends (together a week, mutual break up) then she pulled some FB bull crap, second relationship ever for me, first one lasted three years and it wasn't health  things just went south fast and I need to process",0.3612,positive,devastated
920,MentalHealthSupport,"23 year old guy, broke up with someone for the first time, I don't understand relationships, I grew up in a dysfunctional household, I just need someone to talk to",listener_1,2,"Unfortunately I can’t be of much help with this, but I genuinely hope you find some peace of mind and closure on this soon❤️ you are very strong and resilient,and time and talking with someone will help you greatly. I hope you find an awesome pal to discuss with. Big hug for you❤️",0.9875,positive,consoling
920,MentalHealthSupport,"23 year old guy, broke up with someone for the first time, I don't understand relationships, I grew up in a dysfunctional household, I just need someone to talk to",speaker,3,"I will accept that virtual hug <3 thanks, ive manage to have things simmer down since",0.8225,positive,trusting
920,MentalHealthSupport,"23 year old guy, broke up with someone for the first time, I don't understand relationships, I grew up in a dysfunctional household, I just need someone to talk to",speaker,4,Sadly I work 40 hour straight every weekend so im wasting away my sleep hours but I'll be off Sunday at 8 am and should be able to sleep good,0.3423,positive,hopeful
921,MentalHealthSupport,My partner left me after a paranoid breakdown I had 18months ago,speaker,1,"To cut a long story short I’ve suffered with my mental health for 20yrs +  About 2.5yr to 18months ago I had a full paranoid breakdown in psychotic waves with complete memory blockage. I knew nothing at all about it, me and my partner had been together nearly 4yrs, the other week she found some old messages on my phone I knew nothing about, some where explicit and the language used etc wasn’t me (in nearly 4yrs I never used that language with my partner) I couldn’t understand how they where on my phone. I honestly thought I was going crazy so went to doctors, several appointments and some intensive therapy later I get told what had happened to my mind (I nearly went full skitz). Of course she left due to the messages and I’ve been nothing but honest with her while I’ve had new information, meds etc. Doctors say because I can’t remember the triggers have also been blocked to protect my mind trying to process at least 2 complete personalities at the same time. Even so I check my phone every morning while at work to make sure I remember everything that I’ve sent, liked, commented etc (10 weeks later and nothing unusual on my phone) then 3 week ago my best mate hung himself :( so yeah this past 10weeks has been shit I’ve lost the woman I love and broken up our little family (my have a 8yr daughter who looked up to her as a stepmom and I was planning on proposing to my partner) and I honestly can’t function at the moment. All I’m doing is going to work and coming home sitting in the armchair and listening to audiobooks until I fall alseep with my meds. Should I feel any hate towards her for leaving me when I’ve needed her to most (she also suffers mental health so I thought she’d understand) all I feel is guilt and hurt or breaking the trust of the one person I’ve actually got close to enough to want to marry, I honestly don’t know what to do, I still can’t change her pillow cases every time I try I have a meltdown and cry my eyes out like a little kid :(",-0.684,negative,terrified
921,MentalHealthSupport,My partner left me after a paranoid breakdown I had 18months ago,listener_1,2,"Hey I see no one commented yet and this all sounds like you're going through a lot. Its never easy learning you have a new mental disorder, especially one that alters your reality so drastically. I know it's hard without your partner right now, but the thing is, even without them, you can still make it through this.   You can't actually get better if you isolate yourself to the arm chair. My husband left me and my world crashed around me and I fell into a heavy depression that I'm still climbing out of, even 2 years later. I only recently actually got over him leaving after a relatively sour relationship that altered my perception of him, and I realized something, if he loved me the way I needed to be loved, if he COULD do that, he would still be here. But he isn't, because even though I needed him, it was in fact too much and unfair of me to want him to stay, but in reality you must let the ones you love go and understand they aren't always gone, there's no telling what the future will hold, especially when both of you make honest efforts to improve your mental health.   You're already working on it, you're taking the right steps and it's okay to rest, but don't become stagnant because otherwise you're wasting your time and your doctors. You can do this, you will feel better, no matter how heavy the weight of the pain, you need to remember it is only temporary. It will pass, time always varies, but this feeling is not your life from here on out.   The next step to take, is to recognize you have support from your medical team, that you can find that control over yourself, and when you slip up (as long as not detrimental to others health) it will be okay, mistakes happen. Something I do, is i take myself on a date. I go to the bookstore and treat myself to my favorite coffee, and I plop down with a random book and just read and disappear from the world for a little while.   Give yourself a break, give yourself a day to just get lost somewhere, the bookstore or the woods, a restuarant or the movies. Find yourself in the crowd again. You deserve to feel peace, don't rob yourself of that. You'll feel it again soon, don't give up hope 💖",0.9824,positive,lonely
921,MentalHealthSupport,My partner left me after a paranoid breakdown I had 18months ago,speaker,3,"Thank you for replying, currently isolating myself in the armchair is all I can manage, I’m really struggling at work to get through the day without having a complete meltdown (as soon as I get home and close my front door I have a meltdown) luckily I have my little girl every weekend so that makes me be ‘normal’ go out and about etc. I think I’m struggling so much with my partner leaving because up until she found the messages everything was perfect between us, we had future plans and everything so it’s caught me completely off guard",0.5584,positive,lonely
922,MentalHealthSupport,How would you guys reach out for help from friends?,speaker,1,"I have no idea how to ask for help from my friends as I have asd, severe depression and social anxiety as well as pstd so I struggle with these things. I've been told by my therapist to stop isolating myself and be around people more often but I really don't want to hide my feelings because of my fear of upsetting people. I haven't told them that I get suicidal and have suicidal urges but should I?",-0.9798,negative,apprehensive
922,MentalHealthSupport,How would you guys reach out for help from friends?,listener_1,2,"It can be really hard to ask for help. I guess it really depends what you need from your friends and how close they are. Sometimes it can be easier to ask for something specific. For example ""I am stuggling to leave the house to ... would you mind coming with me?"" or ""I could really use a distraction right now, can you hang out and watch cheesy movies with me?"" This gives them a clear idea of what you need and is more focused on spending time together than just feelings, which can be hard to express.   If you want to talk about how you are feeling (or once you are comfortable with opening up) just ask if they are avaliable to listen""I am finding everything overwhelming right now do you mind if I tell you whats going on?"" It's nice to ask before venting as friends may not have the emotional space to be able to hear everything you want to say.  As for what to disclose it will probably be different for different people. I am quite open about my mental illness usually, a lot of people know that I have anxiety and depression, but I have only talked about self harm and suicidal thoughts to my closest peeps, often people who had been through it too. It might be best to start slow see how they react.  Hope that is helpful.",0.8288,positive,trusting
922,MentalHealthSupport,How would you guys reach out for help from friends?,listener_2,3,"This right here is i think the best advice OP can get, you never want to push your friends into listening, if you do that honestly theres no real idea of knowing how they would respond, if i myself begin to have problems then i usually talk about it with my best friend and he helps me with that and in turn i do the same thing for him. Just remember what this dude here said basically, dont always just ask for help because sometimes talking isnt what you really need, ask them to hang out or anything like that, they will understand",0.9656,positive,trusting
922,MentalHealthSupport,How would you guys reach out for help from friends?,speaker,4,Thank you so much. This actually makes it a lot easier for me as I won't feel pressure to talk about my feelings.,0.7342,positive,wishing
922,MentalHealthSupport,How would you guys reach out for help from friends?,speaker,5,Okay. Thank you so much. I struggle telling the difference between friends and people I just know.,0.6041,positive,trusting
923,MentalHealthSupport,What does happiness feel like?,speaker,1,"What’s it like to be genuinely and consistently happy with oneself? I’ve never known the feeling, but I’d be interested in seeing how others describe this.",0.7554,positive,impressed
923,MentalHealthSupport,What does happiness feel like?,listener_1,2,For me it’s always having something or someone to look forward to. Like even if you start to feel down you quickly realise there’s no reason to be because you’re doing something nice tomorrow or next week or you’re seeing someone who means a lot to you and you like being around them. I guess a lot of my happiness comes from other people which is usually why I’m so unhappy.,0.6792,positive,joyful
923,MentalHealthSupport,What does happiness feel like?,listener_2,3,"To answer your question of how it feels...its basically like having confidence, and having a good, pretty easy going and music filled day.  Or maybe imagine you got a compliment from someone on something you cared about. And it persists for a long while. And you realize the compliment came from yourself, but that's the best part! You don't really care what anyone else thinks, unless it's good, then that's awesome. (: True happiness comes from a practiced set of tools that makes dealing with the experience of reality pleasureable. You have to know how to understand everything from the best and most hopeful perspective, as well as the deepest and darkest perspective. Accept and do not fear the dark, but insist on, predict and create the positive.  Accept your shortcomings, so that any progress away from that shortcoming brings true joy that you've made progress, not focus on the fact that you still have the shortcoming...only slightly lessened. You must stop lying to yourself in every way, accept all of reality, and face it for what it is. This will help you care less about others opinions, as they realistically do not matter at all, and you will be able to apply the power of your beliefs much much stronger. Because you will have aligned yourself with them fully.",0.9982,positive,confident
924,MentalHealthSupport,How to cope with SO,speaker,1,"Hey, I'm not in a good headspace. I haven't been for a few weeks actually and I keep contemplating suicide. I have chronic suicidal ideation, so it's not abnormal to me to have a thought and then it goes away but.. its turning into a want.   I took yesterday off for 2 reasons; Endometriosis flare and feeling pretty low in my mood. My husband went to work per the norm and seemed very supportive and concerned which made me have some motivation to get things done like landlord, bills, etc. Stuff that didnt make me move much. But when he called me in his way home he was so excited because he was able to get of early every other Saturdays. Great! That's our table top RPG night and I'm happy too! But, I didnt match his enthusiasm.  Because I didnt match his enthusiasm, he got mad. He wouldnt showing and kept telling me everything was fine when obviously thru his face and actions he was upset. He told me that he wasn't strong enough to deal with this and went into the bathroom to be left alone. He wouldnt talk and kept making me feel so guilty. It took every ounce in my body to stay home. I wanted to walk out so bad.. he's never done this before which is why I got so mad.   He wouldnt let me express my own feelings either.. like if felt like I couldnt because he felt so in the ""right"". Like he had a right to be in a great mood, which he does. And I tried to match his enthusiasm. We took our puppy on a walk and I tried making some silly stories or just asking how his day was and how I was trying to draw that day. I haven't drawn in months so to me, it was a big step. When we got to a starbucks I offered to get him tea and even surprised him with his favorite cake pop. Like... I tried so hard when he came home to not he mopey and... idk. I felt like I was dismissed, thrown the side, and under appreciated..  Anyway, how should I cope or what's a good coping mechanism that I should try? He thinks everything is ok but its because I'm too scared now. I'm too scared to show that I'm suffering now. I already felt like I wasn't going to make it to 2021 and now I barely feel like I'm going to make it thru the day.   Thank you.",0.9803,positive,grateful
924,MentalHealthSupport,How to cope with SO,listener_1,2,"You have to talk to him. From his perspective and based on what you’ve said, which I totally understand what you are going through, you are shutting him out and he doesn’t understand why. He is frustrated. He notices the changes in you no matter how much you try and hide them or no matter if there is something physical going on with you as well. If you don’t feel like you can trust him with this, then possibly talk to your doctor or seek a therapist, a friend, or family member.   I say all of this, and I know how very hard it is to open up to anyone about these thoughts. They feel shameful and terrifying. And they feel like you are potentially burdening your loved one with some heavy shit. Try to remember that the heaviest shit of all to burden him with is the actual act of suicide though. He would rather know what’s going with you than wonder what he could have done to help support you. Give him the option to help.   I wish you all the best.",0.1677,positive,suggesting
924,MentalHealthSupport,How to cope with SO,listener_2,3,This right here is a great response and i definitely suggest OP does this /\                                        |,0.7783,positive,agreeing
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",speaker,1,"I’m kinda worried about posting this here because I don’t know if it is correct or not but I’m stuck in a very bad anxiety hole atm, I posted this in one of the legal advice subs and everyone said it’s more of a mental health problem, (also sorry I don’t know how to do paragraphs) ok so recently every single day and night I’ve been having panic attacks over something that happened 2-3 years ago, when I was 13 I was on pornhub and came across Ben 10 hentai and being thirty I was very stupid and clicked on it, after seeing it I was kinda of paralysed with fear thinking that it may be illegal, I never saved it or downloaded, I’ve never even been on pornhub since, but now every single day I’m having strong panic attacks and suicidal thoughts worrying that I’ll get into trouble, everyone on the legal advice sub said I’ll be ok I’ve done nothing wrong but I can’t stop worrying about it, they all said go to a GP and  seek other help but it’s not so simple, like I can’t just say to my mum or dad one day I need to see a GP or a therapist because they’ll obviously think what’s wrong and it’s a really embarrassing and private situation (I know telling a bunch of random strangers online sounds a little daft) and someone on the sub pointed out that this reassurance is bad for me in the long term , i mean they’re right because I came back five days later worrying and seeking more reassurance, that’s kind of what I’m doing here but I’m in such a bad way atm that I really do need some reassurance , I’m 15 now and it’s been nearly 3 years but I’m still terrified every day, anyway I’ll end it here thank you for reading, I hope you have a good day, and please don’t be mean or a troll I really can’t handle and negativity or anxiety fuelling comments",-0.996,negative,apprehensive
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",listener_1,2,No it's not illegal and you won't get in trouble for it. Especially as pornhub is legal.  There's weirder things on there like scooby doo or American dad sketches.  We all get curious. There's nothing to worry about x,0.8477,positive,agreeing
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",speaker,3,"Thank you so much, I’ve felt so bad for so long, I was at the point where I can’t handle it anymore, I know this whole thing sounds stupid but I have been having serious suicidal thoughts over it, after reading your comment I’m crying lol, I was so worried about posting this but I’m at the point where it was either a suicidal help line or this, I chose this because I wasn’t brave enough for the latter but seriously thank you I was so nervous, also please excuse my lack of ability to do paragraphs I’m not good at typing and such",-0.943,negative,sentimental
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",listener_1,4,No problem. I was the same when I started exploring that side of the web. It's harmless x,0.5037,positive,trusting
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",speaker,5,So do you really think I’ll be ok?,0.0,neutral,hopeful
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",listener_1,6,Yeah for sure. Pornhub can't have anything illegal on there or they'll lose their licence,0.5753,positive,agreeing
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",speaker,7,"I was just really worried because i read that even hentai which is underage is illegal, so as you could probably guess I had a panic attack, but it’s been 2-3 years so I don’t think I’ll be in trouble right? And I never downloaded it",-0.8688,negative,apprehensive
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",listener_1,8,Kids sent each other weirder stuff when I was in school. If nothing has happened by now it won't happen x,-0.128,negative,angry
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",speaker,9,"Thank you, your really nice which really helps my anxiety, I hope you have an amazing year, also would it be ok if I ever messaged you just in case I was worrying?",0.9189,positive,acknowledging
925,MentalHealthSupport,"Hello, I need some advice/help",listener_1,10,No problem. Hopefully this advice will allow you to move forward with your life x,0.2263,positive,consoling
926,MentalHealthSupport,I have a great life but I'm depressed,speaker,1,"So I'm a 32 male. I have a long term girlfriend and 2 wonderful kids. Not a lot of money but enough to get by without any serious complaints. My career as a risk analyst is the strongest its ever been.  However on top of this I am constantly fighting depression. Some days its combatable, others it's crippling. I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. I feel that I am living for the sake of living and that I have no real purpose beyond providing for my family.  I have no idea what to do. I feel a massive shake up of my life is needed but this is not all about me but about my family. I Dont know what I want out of life and either way I need to continue to support my family.",-0.785,negative,sad
926,MentalHealthSupport,I have a great life but I'm depressed,listener_1,2,"I feel the same, although 22 and no kids, so I feel like what the hell am I doing anything for. Wish I could help you bud but just know you're not alone on this one",0.3164,positive,lonely
926,MentalHealthSupport,I have a great life but I'm depressed,speaker,3,"Thanks. I mean I know I'm not alone, I know probably this is very common and most likely what causes people to go through a mid life crisis. My advice to you is to shake things up whilst you still can. Most barriers you put up are In your mind.",-0.2869,negative,agreeing
926,MentalHealthSupport,I have a great life but I'm depressed,speaker,4,"Of course it is. It's the reason I haven't gone stircrazy already. But I think that despite that, I don't see my gf and kids as ""my purpose"". Try not to mistake me, I'm not looking for a reason to live as in I want to stop living, I mean I'm looking for my calling in life. I'm eternally grateful for what I have but I can't shake this feeling that there is something not quite right, and it certainly involves me personally and is not anything about my family.",0.8755,positive,content
927,MentalHealthSupport,My bpd is destroying me,speaker,1,I've been having some extreme mood swings from happy to suicidal in the matter of hours. I feel incredibly lonely when I’m with people and when I’m not. I can’t figure out how people see me and it’s driving me insane. People keep saying things and I can’t shake that there’s this double meaning and then I can’t atop thinking about it. I feel like no one has or will ever like me and it’s hard to find any reasons to live at times. I can’t go to group therapy until this semester of college is over and I can’t really find a therapist in between now and then so I’m just stuck trying to survive for the next few months. I really just want someone to care for me but I can’t feel it. Just wanted to put all this out somewhere.,-0.2475,negative,lonely
927,MentalHealthSupport,My bpd is destroying me,listener_1,2,"Im sorry that things are bad right now. I am only familiar with bpd as a friend, not personally but I have witnessed how severe those feelings can be. Please remember that it is your illness that is causing you to feel that way. It does NOT mean that you are unlikable, and it does NOT mean that you have nothing to live for.   Do you have any support system or strategies in place for times like these? If you are not comfortable reaching out to someone you know would you consider finding counselling online or over the phone. When I last called a suicide hotline they asked me to call when I had urges to self harm. I said I would never be off the phone but it did tell me that things dont have to be dire before you call.  After a long hard road my depression is now managable. I know bpd is more complex but I also know things can get better. I hope you dont have to deal with this too much longer.",-0.9577,negative,sympathizing
927,MentalHealthSupport,My bpd is destroying me,speaker,3,"I do call and text the helplines often but it can be so exhausting, especially when you don't know who you're gonna get. And afterwards I feel so empty sometimes, but maybe I should text them more. I haven't tried any of the online counseling are they any good?",-0.5516,negative,lonely
927,MentalHealthSupport,My bpd is destroying me,listener_1,4,I actually haven't tried them either. Calling is easier for me because I can't obsess about what to write. I just know that there are lots of different types avaliable. The website or app '7 cups of tea' can conect you to one person rather than different people depending on the day.,0.5484,positive,apprehensive
928,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts: Do you suffer from them?,speaker,1,"Some unwanted intrusive thoughts consist of repetitive doubts about relationships, decisions small and large, sexual orientation or identity, intrusions of thoughts about safety, religion, death or worries about questions that cannot be answered with certainty. Some are just weird thoughts that make no apparent sense. ",-0.872,negative,apprehensive
928,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts: Do you suffer from them?,listener_1,2,Yes... ugh.,-0.0258,neutral,disgusted
928,MentalHealthSupport,Intrusive thoughts: Do you suffer from them?,speaker,3,I am sorry  to heart that. I am having the same experience,0.5994,positive,sympathizing
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,speaker,1,"It started out smoking a little bud, then wax, and eventually molly, acid, xans, white, researching chemicals.. you get the idea. Sitting here while on a pressed bar to calm my nerves and think. I've been so suicidal for the past years, and the drug use is really making me wonder if it's worth it. Is the drug use even impacting me? Could just be my life. My life has been pretty rough lately.",-0.188,negative,apprehensive
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,listener_1,2,"Do you feel like the copious drug use makes you more suicidal? I know substances like Molly can really mess with your serotonin release so that shit will definitely make it worse. Bud and prescription drugs not so much but obviously bud can cause psychosis, which might make suicidal thoughts more prominent.",-0.8313,negative,agreeing
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,speaker,3,Sorry I'm just getting back to this. Been blacking out on xans for two weeks now. Sorry. I don't know what's going on anymore. It more than likely does make me feel worse but I can't stop running from my problems.,-0.5526,negative,ashamed
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,listener_1,4,"Don't be sorry, I'm not judging or trying to tell you what to do, I'm not about that 🖤 Tbh I wish I could get xans easily. Maybe when you're feeling better and not blacking out you could look into methods of making yourself feel better that don't involve heavy drug use.. Simple self care stuff maybe. If you wanna chat don't hesitate. Addressing things is the first step to moving forward, but take it bit by bit. When you're in a relaxed/sedated state try and think about how you feel and why, and try and discern any patterns.",0.8726,positive,sympathizing
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,speaker,5,"I ended up just dropping them after tapering down to 1.5mg round about per dosage, 4 times a day, then cold turkied. Painful, but doable. I'm making it.",-0.2382,negative,sad
929,MentalHealthSupport,A story of drug use,listener_2,6,"I'm glad you are doing better. Doing drugs too much for a while def does make you more depressed, I know lots of people that are dealing with this rn and climbing out of depression and anxiety holes. It really sucks but tapering off, and making sure you got a some people in your life that support you make life much more worth living.",0.7466,positive,grateful
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,speaker,1,I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function   I have to take medication in order to function,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,listener_1,2,"So long as you stay on top of that, you can still live rather than just survive. You can still have experiences and character growth — and see the rest of the world do just the same. I hope you aren't overwhelmed by a responsibility that can drastically change your day-to-day, and I hope you have a good support system that lets you see that this price for living is worth it.",0.9388,positive,encouraging
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,speaker,3,Wishing you all the best on this journey!  Feeling good is amazing and I like feeling good - I focus on that,0.9612,positive,wishing
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,listener_2,4,"It will. If you seek understanding and push into the ""dark"" side of the truth. There is no dark or light, merely someone who sees a uniformly bright universe as different shades of gray.",0.4588,positive,terrified
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,speaker,5,Oh yes!  That’s my big conflict and my therapist has to remind me it helps me -  get out the bed - work - have fun with my family and friends.  Once a week I’m reminded and when I skip my meds or don’t take them - NOT GOOD,0.7746,positive,annoyed
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,listener_3,6,"Yeah the days of missing meds on purpose are behind me now, ugh that was awful. Just gotta be kinder to ourselves which I do really suck at! I still forget meds accidentally from time to time, and that sucks too, heh.",-0.9097,negative,acknowledging
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,speaker,7,Today I changed to the times my doctor originally told me - definitely had more successful day  Having this site helps too  We have each other’s back   I don’t feel judged here ever,0.8553,positive,grateful
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,listener_3,8,"Nice!! I stumbled across this sub yesterday, it seems awesome. I often feel judged by people and it sucks. I stuffed my bag with loads of meds so I don't forget them again, but with my benzo I think I need to have a better idea of when to take it to avoid symptoms bubbling thru.",0.7002,positive,surprised
930,MentalHealthSupport,I have to take medication in order to function,speaker,9,I like my pharmacist- he knows my history and knows meds ... I ask him for advice too,0.3612,positive,trusting
931,MentalHealthSupport,Hey I think someone i know that's close to me is going to do something rash. Help,speaker,1,"So I'm talking to someone that I'm close to, and then they said they were ""slowly but surely falling out of reality"" then I asked what was going on, and he completely shit down and won't tell me what's going on, I think he might hurt himself, and I hope he doesn't, can someone help me out?",-0.7921,negative,apprehensive
931,MentalHealthSupport,Hey I think someone i know that's close to me is going to do something rash. Help,listener_1,2,"If you fear he’s in immediate danger, don’t hesitate to call the police. He won’t get in trouble, they’ll help him. I know people who have had to do it, and the persons life is now looking better that he got that help",-0.4767,negative,trusting
931,MentalHealthSupport,Hey I think someone i know that's close to me is going to do something rash. Help,speaker,3,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
931,MentalHealthSupport,Hey I think someone i know that's close to me is going to do something rash. Help,listener_2,4,"Yes. Please call the police if you think they are in danger. My partner called an ambulance on me once. It wasnt fun but I understood.  If this person is in a bad place sometimes just sitting with them not even talking is enough to get them through. Sometimes it is hard to voice what is going on but you just can think about anything else, let alone talk about anything else. Listen if they do talk. Dont try to fix it or be overly positive. You can suggest seeking outside help and offer to help them find it.  I really hope they stay safe and get through this in time.",0.9142,positive,questioning
932,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell my partner about my suicidal thoughts,speaker,1,"I'm fine now and I'm calmer, but I recently had a mental breakdown for no reason, was suicidal and cut my shoulder a bit. I trust my partner more then anyone else but they are going through problems of their own with their depression amd transition and I domt wanna bother them.  I have a therapist and I'm safe, I just dont know if I should tell my partner.",-0.9319,negative,trusting
932,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell my partner about my suicidal thoughts,listener_1,2,"I am glad you are in a better headspace now. Well done on getting yourself out of that, I know how awful it is to be in that place.  As for your question, it is really up to you. I cant tell you what is right for the two of you. I do think it is something I would want to know if it were me. If you are unsure, think about what they have been comfortable sharing with you, it should give you an idea about what they would be comfortable hearing. If you want to tell them, it may be easier to avoid adding too many details, perhaps something along the lines of what you have shared here.   From my experience it is ok to tell someone who has their own problems what you are going through, and they really do care. What can be difficult for them is if you talk about self harm or suicide in explicit detail which can be triggering, or if you vent for a long time and use up too much of their emotional energy. It may be nice to ask them if they are ok to hear about your struggles before you elaborate.",0.9132,positive,agreeing
932,MentalHealthSupport,What should I tell my partner about my suicidal thoughts,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
933,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling bad ans have been for a lonf time,speaker,1,"Hey y'all. This is my first post on here so I apologize if I break any rules. I did read them to be safe but I just wanted to throw that in just in case.  I am a 36 year old woman who has had 3 children. My oldest (may my sweet girl RIP) would have been 19 next march and my youngest just turned 12. I did not have very many symptoms until after I had my first Angel but they really hit hard and all at one time. Also, she passed away st 6 weeks old which is pain I will never stop feeling. I have just learned to do the best I can but there is no way to ever not feel the loss of a child IMO. About 2 years after she was born, (she had passed a year and 8 months before this as well) I  was diagnosed with Bipolar type 1, Schizo effective disorder and severe GAD. It was vary hard dealing with those and being a new mom of an Angel and I always prayed it was severe PPD and depression from burying my babygirl and it would go away but sadly that didn't happen.  I do feel blessed that I have never had severe issues with the School effective disorder like many other have to deal with. For many years, it was just  auditory hillusinations and paranoia where I always think people are staring and talking about me but for the past 5 years or so, the voice (its always been just the one male voice but the things he says are beyond terrible. (I would imagine anyone who suffers with any form of hallucinations, especially visual ones. That would horrify me) about 5 or so years ago it seemed like all three of my diagnoses became 1,000 times more severe at the same time and I have no idea why.  OK want to add that I am a heroin addict who has been in recovery for 8 years now which I sure has to have something to do with it but why didn't it start until after 3 years of sobriety? I take 1200 mg of Lithium a day, They upped my Depekote from 250 mg to 500 mg extended release and also put me on 2 mg of Klonopin 3 times a day but nothing is getting better and I am so lost and feel so hopeless and have no idea what to do! I am uninsured so I go to a clinic that has sliding scale fees and normally they are still very good doctors but sadly the only I see now doesn't listen to me at all. For months I have stayed in a bad anxious state where I just know something is really wrong but don't know what is and can never figure out what it is and the panic attacks have become so severe that I have called the EMTs at least 10 times in a month. Even though I have felt the same feeling for over 16 years, each one is still  terrifying because of how fast my heart rate gets and how high my blood pressure gets and this happens while taking  total of 6 mg of anxiety. I honestly believe that they need to either add another type of med or adjust the dose I am on. I have barely slept on months because the voice has gotten so loud and so constant that it keeps me awake. If there are any Supernatural fans in here, it feels so much like what Sam went through when Cas broke down the wall in his brain making him go insane from his time in the Cage and he was constantly Hallucinating that Luci was with him st all times, singing or throwing those poppers on the ground all night which caused him to almost doe from lack of sleep.   I am honestly not sure why exactly I am posting this but K just got such a strong urge to vent to people who truly understand. My husband is the only person I have who is by my side all all times and doesn't say rude and hurtful shit like I am just being dramatic and overreacting and I should be a strong enough person to not panic. I am Surrounded by close minded people who donr believe mental illnesses are real",-0.9929,negative,trusting
933,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling bad ans have been for a lonf time,listener_1,2,Can you message me in the morning when you’re sober?,0.0,neutral,questioning
933,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling bad ans have been for a lonf time,speaker,3,Thank you so very much! I am too afraid to talk to people in my life when I get like this because they send to call someone and take me to the hospital and they involuntarily admit me because of the long history I have with my mental health. They never seem to believe me when I tell them O have no intentions in hurting myself or others because of the amount of suicide attempts I have. Its nice to be able to vent to people who understand me and have been where I am with your own mental health,-0.2714,negative,trusting
934,MentalHealthSupport,How do I actually “help myself”?,speaker,1,"I’m new to this sub, this is my first post here... so, anyway...  You know people always say that “I can’t help you unless you help yourself”? How can I do that? It seems like everything I try to do to get better doesn’t work and I always go back to square one. I’ve tried medication for my ADHD, anxiety, and depression, but it does nothing to make me feel better and makes me an angry, ugly person. I’ve tried meditation, I’ve tried socialising with friends, I’ve tried exercise, iv tried picking up new hobbies, and, hell, I even “went for a walk” up to 5 times a day to clear my head. My mind is never clear, it’s tainted and tarnished by my illnesses and I feel like I can’t escape. I’ve self medicated for a while too, smoking weed or something equivalent, and I feel better than I did, but nowhere near ‘normal’. I tried counselling but I always come out angrier than when I went in because I feel like no one is helping me, which gets me to this point now; I was venting to a friend about this and that’s when she said that phrase. But... I’m trying... I’m really trying to help myself... am I doing something wrong? I’ve tried everything... am I not meant to be happy?  Thanks",0.9123,positive,annoyed
934,MentalHealthSupport,How do I actually “help myself”?,listener_1,2,"The thing is you are helping yourself and you are not doing something wrong. It seems to me that your friend has no idea how to support someone with a mental illness. Her job isn't to 'fix' you, in fact she cant. What she can do is listen and show compassion.  You are obviously working so hard to to make yourself better and that is really strong of you. It sounds like you are dedicating a lot of time and energy to recovery. The issue isn't that you are not helping yourself but that you haven't found something that works for you. Unfortunately I dont have the answer as to what will work.   Honestly, I am someone who swares by therapy but I understand why you are frustrated with it. The thing that stands out to me is that with ADHD, completely clearing the mind doesnt seem realistic (at least that's what my husband with ADHD tells me). Has anyone you have seen been familiar with ADHD? If you haven't tried it yet, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) has some diffusion techniques you could try. Or DBT has some distress tolerance skills that may also be useful. Just a thought, and sorry if that isnt helpful. Hoping you find something soon.",0.7814,positive,caring
934,MentalHealthSupport,How do I actually “help myself”?,speaker,3,"That is extremely helpful, thank you :)",0.8347,positive,acknowledging
935,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety sucks,speaker,1,So today I had a panic attack and it scared me just how fast one minute you fine and happy and then the next you can barely breath the next. I wish I could get ride of it so I won’t be so scared to leave my house and try to live but sadly it’s stuck on mr like a leach that won’t get off.,-0.7272,negative,terrified
935,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety sucks,listener_1,2,"I know how you feel dude,it really sucks, but im sure this whole sub is here if you need to talk about it",0.2625,positive,agreeing
935,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety sucks,speaker,3,Thank you buddys,0.3612,positive,wishing
935,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety sucks,speaker,4,I do write in a journal that does help me feel better,0.6808,positive,sentimental
935,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety sucks,listener_2,5,"That’s great! I’m glad you’ve found something that helps. There’s a bunch of different mindfulness apps that have tools for anxiety as well, that could be helpful. I’d still recommend getting a therapist though, because all the other stuff just helps you make it through but a therapist can help you recover. It takes time and the other things are helpful during the whole process but it’s so worth it!",0.9641,positive,acknowledging
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,speaker,1,I am constantly living  my life in pressure.I am a business graduate.Already diagnosed with hyper tension and high blood pressure.I quit my first job in 2017 on the fifth day because i couldn't handle the pressure.My mind just go blank whenever i get a opportunity work somewhere. I do take anti depressants.I experience severe anxiety whenever someone talk to me about job.  I  did worked for three months as an intern in 2019.This place was fun to work nobody put pressure on me and i loved what i did there.The only reason i was not employed there because my superior felt threatened.   Right now i am facing a dilemma and i dont know what to do.!Killing my self might be the only option i will be left with.,0.2481,positive,anxious
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,listener_1,2,"Woah why kill yourself, struggling to find a job doesn’t mean the end of the world, you can find other jobs that doesn’t require you to get much anxiety, maybe even a job online can be a better option. Life may be frustrating but there’s much more to it than just pain.",-0.8608,negative,suggesting
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,speaker,3,dude i know but some times i just feel way too frustrated and people judge me all the time.,-0.6808,negative,agreeing
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,speaker,4,come on chat mate just message me and we will keep on updating,0.0,neutral,consoling
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,listener_1,5,"My guy, fuckkkk people, they either help or hurt you, and its beyond your control they don’t understand and even so that shouldn’t effect you, because you’re different, and that’s okay",0.0516,positive,angry
936,MentalHealthSupport,I say no to job opportunities because of the pressure I will have on job.,speaker,6,thankx mate,0.0,neutral,wishing
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,speaker,1,"I have a mood disorder, ADHD/ADD, autism, social anxiety, depression as well as ptsd and struggled most of my life with it. I'm currently 17 almost 18 and I feel completely helpless, I have been seeing psychiatrists off and on since I was 5 or 6 and was misdiagnosed with bipolar at these young ages (it was a misdiagnosis) I have been off and on different meds since then. I'm currently trying new meds (Wellbutrin) for depression but it suppresses it or masks it a bit. I'm currently refusing to go to school because last time my social anxiety was so bad I threw up right at my teachers feet when I was presented with a social situation. My moods are everywhere and all my moods are intensified. I'm constantly zoning in and out of focus without any control. I feel like I'm on the edge and don't know how much longer I will be able to deal with this. I have become extremely suicidal in the past and am worried I will feel like that again. I want help but feel unable to achieve it and feel like my family wouldn't believe me if I told them how I really feel",-0.9328,negative,terrified
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,listener_1,2,"Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this.   I know it feels like you're alone right now, but you're not. Do you have a psychologist and a psychiatrist right now?  I was misdiagnosed with a lot of things but it wasn't until I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28 finally that things started to get better. Everyone has a different path and I'm happy you are working on yourself. Fight for yourself, fight for your health. You can do it.",0.4939,positive,sympathizing
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,speaker,3,I have a psychiatrist rn but I feel he ignores me when I talk to him about my issues,-0.3919,negative,annoyed
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,listener_1,4,You can request to change. You deserve to feel heard,0.0,neutral,suggesting
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,speaker,5,I know I said I was getting off the internet but I wanted to say thank you it may not seem like you did much but just talking about just a little made me feel better.,0.6635,positive,grateful
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,speaker,6,I really do appreciate your help and your reply but rn I'm having a little break down and need to get off the internet before it gets worse feel free to message me and just Know I won't hurt myself I hope you have a amazing night cuz I know I won't,0.9505,positive,trusting
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,listener_1,7,"I'm sorry for not replying, sometimes my notifications don't come through on my phone. I hope you're feeling better today <3",0.7184,positive,sympathizing
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,listener_1,8,I felt so bad that no one saw your post yet and I'm happy I could make a small difference,-0.5032,negative,guilty
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,speaker,9,I'm doing better rn I saw some stuff on TV that just set all my issues off at once it's kinda like dominos one thing causes a chain reaction of mental disorders that all start messing with me at once,0.6258,positive,angry
937,MentalHealthSupport,I have multiple mental disorders and I feel helpless,listener_1,10,I hear you. It can be easy to spiral. Glad to hear you're doing better :),0.8957,positive,acknowledging
938,MentalHealthSupport,"Lonely, numb and struggling (advice?)",speaker,1,I don’t know what to do anymore. I go through this every day and it gets worse at night. I feel nothing but nothing feel like a dark pit inside of me. I’ve barely had any food or water in the past couple days and I honestly can’t find it in me to care. I don’t want to live like this but it’s only getting worse. Whoever said it gets better is a liar. It’s been 4 years and nothing has gotten better. Any tip or stuff?,0.1093,positive,afraid
938,MentalHealthSupport,"Lonely, numb and struggling (advice?)",listener_1,2,"So sorry that you feel that way, nobody should ever feel that way.. Without knowing you, all I can do right now is keep reminding you to stay hydrated and eat properly. And listen to you about your life. Maybe I can help you.. But I am by no means a psychologist.  So OP, right now, have a glass of water and add some flavour to it if you have any.",-0.3064,negative,sympathizing
938,MentalHealthSupport,"Lonely, numb and struggling (advice?)",speaker,3,"I’m not really sure what to say other than thank you. I don’t think there’s much you can do though, I did this to myself.",0.0826,positive,sympathizing
938,MentalHealthSupport,"Lonely, numb and struggling (advice?)",listener_1,4,"You can always talk to all of us if you ever need or want to. Post or dm, whatever..",0.0772,positive,suggesting
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,speaker,1,"Hello everyone.  I'm a F(19) - and I've been struggling with what I call attack-like visions of torture and violence for over a year now.  I've had bad intrusive thoughts before - and since I've been in therapy for close to 2 years now I have actually gotten pretty good at dealing with them. But a year ago it went from only those thoughts to actual  Attacks.  I'll describe the latest one;  It was around 11pm - I was on the phone with my Fianceé when I suddenly felt like my entire room was slowly tilting forward, the walls suddenly seemed alive (?) Looked like they were breathing.  A sense of slight paranoia was suddenly present and my breathing sped up considerably as well as my heartbeat. And then I was bombarded with horribly vivid images of perfect strangers getting torn apart alive, accompanied by every sound they made. I wasn't the one doing it either - I recognized none of them and there isn't any patter between them as far as I can tell.  My body was twitching and I was crying uncontrollably- I was aware that it wasn't real intellectually but it felt like it was happening right infront of me.  That lasted for approximately 30 Minutes and I was left sobbing and upset - a feeling of dread present which permeated the next 2 Days before I was finally getting a little better again.  These attacks are presently happening in the span from anywhere between 6 Months and 3 weeks apart and seem to be completely unpredictable.  I've talked to a Myriad of Doctors and a long list of Mental Health professionals - and none of them knew  how to deal with this.  TL;DR: I've been suffering from visual and audio assault on my senses in the form of ""attacks"" and no one can tell me what's wrong with me.",-0.9868,negative,terrified
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_1,2,"Very strange, that your doctors didn't point out this schizophrenic vibe you are describing your visions. This uncontrolled visions really is a good sign, that you might have a psychosis.  It's not the end of the world, you are not more or less crazy than the others. Your mind is just working a bit differently than a normal brain. Ins't this awesome btw?  What always helps is introspection and self-awareness trainings like meditation or yoga.  **PLEASE** do not understand this as a diagnosis. Understand this more like a subject you may bring up, when talking with a therapist again.",0.9437,positive,questioning
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,speaker,3,"I've brought it up before - but she said that states of Psychosis and Schizophrenia usually last longer then just 30 minutes - I've been to class clinic before and I did have a slight spike in their tests when it came to psychotic activity , but since I work in the arts and have a somewhat overactive imagination they said that that that's not unusual",0.0,neutral,neutral
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_1,4,"But you had a full checkup on your vitals. Did you?   What is often overlooked: Vitamin B deficit also induces psychosis-like symptoms. Are you by chance vegan, or vegetarian?",0.5588,positive,questioning
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,speaker,5,"Nope - I eat meat and dairy and yes - besides an Iron deficiency which I am currently being treated for by taking 500 mg 4 times a week, All my vitals appear completely healthy - including EKG EEG as well as blood tests and so on.",0.8357,positive,content
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_1,6,"Really nice that you checked beforehand.  I would really try to convince to check more with the psychosis. The psyche is a dirty place, normally they don't care about norms. The thing is, that you may identify a trigger which induces those psychotic episodes. Avoid if possible this trigger and with your therapist slowly confront those triggers. I wish you the very best. Feel free to message me, if you have any further questions and do tell when you get new intel on your state. What I liked to hear when I had those vivid panic attacks was: You are not going crazy, your mind is just working a bit different. The mind can adapt. You may not stop those visions, but you may change how you perceive those episodes. Consider Meditation and Yoga, as this will further calm your mind, helping you to find ways otherwise hidden.  All the love  ~Humble Shaman",0.9415,positive,wishing
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_1,7,"Ah yeah.. and if you believe in spirituality or not.. a sense of purpose, that there is a reason that you have these visions oftentimes helps enduring the event itself. fun thing is: Everything is really happening for a reason. Be it chemicals or spirit. Stick to a hobby and find beauty in the small things again.",0.926,positive,agreeing
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,speaker,8,Okay - I appreciate the effort but I hope you realize that I.E. I saw a small child get dismembered and disembowled basically infront of my eyes with full surround sound and no way to turn it off or look away.  Can you imagine how upsetting that is - I am questioning if I could even live with this for the rest of my life!  I'm not sure I can.  I'm sorry if this is harsh but I'd like to believe that there isn't a fun little reason (god forbid a spiritual one)  that my brain is showing me these things - it's not _awesome_ that I am completely at random with no warning forced to see some of the most vile things that my imagination can conjure up - I fucking wish that I wasn't subjected to any of it.  I have tried meditation - it really helps with depression but for the horror show that is happening _inside of my head_ it did jack all.  A hobby? I draw and write poetry and songs and am currently in art school - I enjoy life - when I'm not thinking about the (hopefully) metaphorical cancerous growth that permeates my brain any second I DONT introspect and self-reflect!  Thank you for reading and trying to give me advice but that comment pushed me over the edge - good day.,-0.3453,negative,disgusted
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_2,9,Good for you I would have been offended by that as well! It's one thing for the person with the visions or anything uncomfortable to say they think that but to be told to think that way is bullshit and never helps it just makes you angry! My mom told me if I believed in a higher power I wouldn't be so depressed because it would be gods plan🙅🙅🙅 ugh no thanks just turns you off to the whole thing,-0.9816,negative,acknowledging
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_1,10,Belief is a very sensible topic. I understand. Have a nice day.,0.4215,positive,agreeing
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,speaker,11,Thank you for your well thought out response- I will try my best to convey my experiences better - I still have a hard time really rating any of my painful experiences not realizing myself how bad it is until it is a solid ten on the skala ^^',0.6705,positive,acknowledging
939,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for help,listener_2,12,Yeah you have to be your own advocate and fight for yourself! I'm sure you will get there! Good luck!,0.826,positive,wishing
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,1,"Hello everyone.  I'm a F(19) - and I've been struggling with what I call attack-like visions of torture and violence for over a year now.  I've had bad intrusive thoughts before - and since I've been in therapy for close to 2 years now I have actually gotten pretty good at dealing with them. But a year ago it went from only those thoughts to actual  Attacks.  I'll describe the latest one;  It was around 11pm - I was on the phone with my Fianceé when I suddenly felt like my entire room was slowly tilting forward, the walls suddenly seemed alive (?) Looked like they were breathing.  A sense of slight paranoia was suddenly present and my breathing sped up considerably as well as my heartbeat. And then I was bombarded with horribly vivid images of perfect strangers getting torn apart alive, accompanied by every sound they made. I wasn't the one doing it either - I recognized none of them and there isn't any patter between them as far as I can tell.  My body was twitching and I was crying uncontrollably- I was aware that it wasn't real intellectually but it felt like it was happening right infront of me.  That lasted for approximately 30 Minutes and I was left sobbing and upset - a feeling of dread present which permeated the next 2 Days before I was finally getting a little better again.  These attacks are presently happening in the span from anywhere between 6 Months and 3 weeks apart and seem to be completely unpredictable.  I've talked to a Myriad of Doctors and a long list of Mental Health professionals - and none of them knew  how to deal with this.  TL;DR: I've been suffering from visual and audio assault on my senses in the form of ""attacks"" and no one can tell me what's wrong with me.",-0.9868,negative,terrified
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,2,Hey friend. Have you had any past traumas?,0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,3,"Well - Yes,  I grew up with a very hot n cold manipulative and borderline sociopathic father. I was molested by my brothers best friend when I was 6 years old. I was bullied pretty much always from grade 1 through 10. I have slight PTSD from my Parents fighting (get shaky and stuff when people raise their voices) That's about it I think - though my childhood memories are hard to remember in their entirety - but those are the things that stuck vividly.",-0.0516,negative,terrified
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,4,Could these attacks be PTSD flashbacks?,-0.4404,negative,afraid
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,5,"As mentioned - all the people are perfect strangers , getting torn apart or tortured in diverse locations and without any link.  I've never been physically hurt by anyone and haven't ever witnessed a crime at all , much less of that capacity.",-0.3867,negative,terrified
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,6,Is it possible you’re having psychotic episodes?,0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,7,I said in another comment that ai brought it up with my Therapist - she said that Psychotic episodes usually take a lot longer to get through then a maximum of 30 minutes as I have experienced.,0.0,neutral,surprised
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,8,Has your therapist ever mention schizophrenia?,0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,9,"Schizophrenia is mostly delusional - though there are hallucinations too - I asked and researched , any disorder that falls under that umbrella has at least one month of consistent psychotic symptoms.",-0.4019,negative,surprised
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,10,Have there been any additional stressors since you’ve started to have these hallucinations?,-0.4767,negative,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,11,"No - none I can think off , my life has been pretty stable especially recently. I hot a pretty good handle on everything mental besides that.",0.8519,positive,content
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,12,Have you had a change in medication?,0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,13,No I haven't,-0.29600000000000004,negative,ashamed
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,14,Is it possible it’s anxiety related? It is possible to think you’re hallucinating during panic attacks,-0.7845,negative,suggesting
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,15,"I've had panic attacks when I was around 15, they stopped after a year or so - but they feel fundamentally diffrent :/.",-0.5499,negative,anxious
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,16,Do you have any gut feeling as to what might be going on?,0.128,positive,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,17,"I don't- that's what scares me. I'm usually right with my gut instinct - but it's as much a mystery to me as everyone else - the only thing I know is that this is...big , something that feels like it could really hurt me for a long time.",-0.3119,negative,apprehensive
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,18,"When you discuss this with doctors, do they specialize in mental health? And have you told them every detail?",0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,19,I was in a mental health clinic a while ago where I stayed from 7 am to 4 pm every day except the weekends - I spoke with pretty much every doctor there. None of them could tell me what I'm going through.,0.4939,positive,apprehensive
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,20,And yes - I was as detailed as I could be,0.4019,positive,neutral
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,21,Did they recommend you to see anyone?,0.3612,positive,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,22,"Yes - my current therapist , that has no clue either.",0.128,positive,agreeing
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,23,"I’m sorry that this is so hard to diagnose, friend. Does anything trigger it?",0.2579,positive,sympathizing
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,24,;-; I do not think so - I tried keeping a diary but I can't find anything that those episodes had in common,0.0,neutral,neutral
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,25,Has your fiancée ever been abusive?,-0.6369,negative,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,26,"No - not even close , she has always been very supportive of me and my needs , theres been bumps in the road but nothing I'd call abuse",0.6906,positive,neutral
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,27,Do you have a family history of hallucinations/delusions?,0.0,neutral,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,28,My Great Aunt had paranoid delusions - other then that not as far as I know of.,0.4767,positive,afraid
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,29,That could help in figuring out what it is. Have you brought this up to a doctor?,0.4019,positive,questioning
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,30,I have - but I just don't fit any kind of diagnosis...,-0.395,negative,neutral
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,listener_1,31,"Alright. I’m very sorry, but I’m not sure how much I can do. I’ve done a lot of thinking, but I’m not a professional. Don’t give up though. Keep trying to find a solution. Take notes of what happens leading up to it, who’s around, what you did, ate, changes, etc. Keep trying to find someone who is a professional who can tell you what’s going on. I’m sorry.",0.0671,positive,sympathizing
940,MentalHealthSupport,Another Cry for Help,speaker,32,"Don't be - it was already very kind of you to try your best in helping a stranger like me, I will in turn try my best to keep going even if it feels like it's going to be impossible. Thank you for everything",0.9524,positive,wishing
941,MentalHealthSupport,I’m substituting reality for something sexier...help?,speaker,1,"I’ve been severely depressed for years now , also have struggled with OCD (unwanted thoughts, tapping and hand washing mostly) and Have had several other health problems including cancer which I’m convinced has returned (I’d find out for certain but I’ve recently lost my insurance) but that’s not the issue, not all of it. Lately I’ve become totally obsessed with a certain celebrity. Like to the point I’m blocking out what’s happening in my actual life to look at photos, watch videos, and basically just creep them. Today I had a moment where I was “aware” of myself of what’s going on here and now. I broke down. I started sobbing thinking about how I can’t possibly afford to have cancer again. How I would be financially damaging to my family to be diagnosed again. Suicide would be a cheaper option. No I’m not considering it. I just know it would be cheaper to just bury me than to try and fix what’s wrong. I know this doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make any sense at all but I still felt like I am self medicating by using YouTube and tumblr to watch this person.  I can’t really explain how much my every thought has been about them lately. Like not imagining we have a life together but just thinking about what they are doing now or what kind of music they like or what kind of coffee they prefer. This person makes me feel so happy and gushy like a teen girl all over. I know this isn’t love. I know this is something else. Some kind of problem I have that I’m masking, I guess what I’m wondering is has anyone else done this? Just bury yourself in something pleasant and try to block out reality with a handsome face?",-0.9358,negative,afraid
941,MentalHealthSupport,I’m substituting reality for something sexier...help?,listener_1,2,"I definitely go through something similar, not really with celebrities but about my friends. I'll day dream about them, fantasize about them, then realize Im not actually focusing on what I could be experiencing in the here and now. It's natural for our brains to find a distraction as a first method of dealing with depression or something difficult happening in our lives, we won't even realize it at first because it's in the subconscious, also with our minds being naturally curious following a celebrity on social media or the internet gives us the perfect opportunity to explore that curiosity. It's ok to become a fan of a celebrity and look into them a lot, I've enjoyed researching into an artist's work or what they do, it can be motivating! But as you say, it's best to make sure it doesn't take all of your time! I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, it does sound very difficult and I can't imagine the stress, I've also had that feeling of ""it will be cheaper and less painful if I died"" but I know I'll never act in it, it's literally just a thought, but make sure you keep checking in on yourself to make sure it stays as a thought and can eventually go away, you could try journaling these thoughts to help them get out of your mind! Have you tried scheduling time to be away from your phone? This might really help, especially before you go to bed, it takes practice and I'm still practicing, but it will be good!",0.9924,positive,agreeing
941,MentalHealthSupport,I’m substituting reality for something sexier...help?,speaker,3,Thanks for replying.  I haven’t tried stepping away from my phone but that’s a really smart idea. I’m sure my sleep won’t suffer from it either. Thanks for the advice.  It’s always comforting to know you aren’t alone in this crazy life.,0.7131,positive,trusting
942,MentalHealthSupport,Impulsive Issues,speaker,1,"I can sometimes be impulsive. I'm not sure where it comes from or why in the moment I can't seem to think of the pain my actions will cause. It's been this way for years. I'm an introvert and I keep a lot of the inner parts of me to myself. Partly because of my introversion but also partly because I'm scared how this part of myself will hurt those I care about.   I've often been told by those closest to me that they sometimes wonder who I am. ""Who are you?"" I don't know how to answer. It kills me to hear that. It feels like an accusation. An attack aimed directly at me and my deepest insecurities, but I wonder if they're right. I know they're right. Do you know what it feels like to have someone you love look you in your eyes and tell you they don't know you? It feels like a weight that gets heavier each time you try and breathe through the pain those words caused in your body. And the look in their eyes makes that weight gets heavier and slowly crawls into your chest and makes its way into your throat to choke you and all you can do is sit there numb and helpless and exhausted.   I do crazy things I can't explain sometimes. I've never ran away leaving people I love behind, I've never taken a stranger home from a bar I've never ran out into the street without looking both ways, and I've never jumped off a one story house to see if I'd land on my feet. But I have hurt people. People that I love have cried and hurt and have questioned everything because of my own thoughtlessness. Because of my words from my mouth.   I want those closest to me to feel like they know me. I don't want to be a stranger. I don't want someone to always wonder what it is I really am up to whenever I'm not in their sight. I so badly want to get better. For those I love, but also for myself because I also look at myself and ask who am I? I see the damage I've caused and the relationships I've abused with my thoughtlessness and the pain in the eyes of the people I love and it's too much.",-0.9835,negative,apprehensive
942,MentalHealthSupport,Impulsive Issues,listener_1,2,You need to take something to control you emotions. Talk to your doctor.,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
942,MentalHealthSupport,Impulsive Issues,speaker,3,"I have a standard gp, but what doctor do I talk to about this? I've been looking (not to well) for a therapist for a while now and just started up again. My insurance and finances are pretty limited so I started looking for support groups. What kind of support group is available for this? I'm sorry to unload these questions onto you but I'm not sure how to actually get help.",0.8558,positive,apprehensive
942,MentalHealthSupport,Impulsive Issues,listener_1,4,"You might be from Us where you have to pay for everything. I live in nz, my gp got me a antidepressant and 5 free terapy sessions.   You can try youtube videos, brething exercizes, walks, count until 10 before acting.",0.4404,positive,grateful
942,MentalHealthSupport,Impulsive Issues,speaker,5,"Yeah I do live in the US and healthcare for those who aren't independently wealthy can be pretty horrible. It's incredibly confusing and difficult to find a gp, a good one, that's actually within your insurance network. Apparently there's a significant difference in cost if you find your doctor within your network versus just being covered by your insurance. Nevermind considering the distance you'll travel for a good one.  When I brought up standard health concerns with my gp I was told to consult a specialist for those concerns. Well, I have no idea how to find that specialist and when I do that's another lump of money I'll need to spend because that's a different tier of cost per visit. I asked for a referral and was told to look on the internet. And when I called my insurance for help they sent me a list doctors in my network. None of whom were actually therapists.   I'm unsure if it would make more sense for me to find a better gp that's a little further away but someone I can trust or if I should just independently look for a therapist on my own. I think I'll need both before too long.  Wherever you are sounds amazing!",0.9314,positive,apprehensive
943,MentalHealthSupport,Hi everyone. I need help. My mind cannot carry much more.,speaker,1,"I am going to try to type the basis of what I have been going through. In 2017, I got into my first relationship. (I was 17) The relationship lasted a year and a half before I broke up with him. My mental health took a toll due to the mental and verbal abuse he had put me through for some time due to his home life. It was a lot of gaslighting. I started hating myself and my depression came in full force after some time. I would cry everyday waking up with eyes swollen shut. I left the relationship and felt the best I had felt in a very long time, I felt free and cried tears of joy for the one time in my life. A boy that was around my friend group at the time was telling me things such as him having gone through the same thing as me and we hit it off well. I didn’t think I should get into a relationship but it seemed so...meant to be? I dated him in a vulnerable state mentally and was not prepared for it. I didn’t tell myself this though and thought I was okay. He seemed great until he kept making sexual advances. It got to a point where my friends were uncomfortable with him because he would grope me in public. I expressed how I do not like this, would tell him to stop even in private. He kept continuing this for awhile and one night I fell asleep in his bed and woke up to his hand up my shirt and down my pants. Prior to this I told him not to put his hands down there so I guess he decided to do this while I slept. I was angry. I left one I woke and hadn’t said a word. I went downstairs and to my friends dorm and told her and my other friend about what had happened. They didn’t have much of a reaction to this and I almost thought it wasn’t a big deal or something. I broke up with him after he had profusely apologized for having sexually assaulted me (his words) and that he couldn’t believe his own behavior. Fast forward to the end of the year of 2019 and I met a guy who was a friend of a friend. He seemed like an amazing guy but he was another one who just manipulated me into thinking he was a good guy or doing so to get what he wants. That’s all it was about. November of 2019 I lost my virginity to him...by rape. I was raped. I have felt numb and emotionally empty for a long time with situations where I should feel something. He knew what he was doing. He knew I hadn’t done anything before. I wasn’t in the mood, he ignored me and told me yes I was because I was wet. He tried taking my pants and underwear off and I held them firmly and kept repeating the words “no. Stop” his response to this was trying to keep me staying laid down and telling me “relax” over and over. He didn’t take my no for an answer and he should’ve realized my discomfort from the beginning.  He would instead chuckle about how nervous I was and how I have to just calm down for it to feel good. Every time he raped me, it hurt. He tried doing research to find out why it never felt good for me and he never took my “I wasn’t in the mood” as an answer. I told him not to have sex with me and not to initiate but to let me from now on. He agreed and I thought that was that. He didn’t listen. When I brought up the agreement, he told me “well I know you never will”. We only dated for a whole 2 1/2 months and if a week went by without pleasing him he would tell me “it’s been awhile”. One time I rolled away and shoved him off and sat on the ground with my pants pulled back up because the tug of war would happen everytime, he got whiny and pouted. After I broke up with him due to other issues, he came over to see me. He was in my room invading my personal space repeatedly. At one point picked me up despite my protests and telling him to stay away and not touch me, that he can stay here just to talk as planned, he put me on my bed and forced me to cuddle with him. He continuously tried to kiss me and I would tell him stop and not to kiss me but would still do it on my head or somewhere after I repeatedly told him no. I haven’t talked to him since and I won’t be talking to him anymore. I discussed all this with a friend and they made it very clear this was not consensual and that it was rape. Due to all the previous trauma, I feel as though my brain was putting these events tucked away in my head but still told myself “you don’t like him anymore. You don’t feel things for him anymore. He’s horrible” and I wondered why I had felt so differently towards him but never wanted to admit to myself what he had done. I now realize why the sex never felt good for me and why it was so painful every time. On top of all this, I’ve had so much stress going on in my life and even had to deal with a family death after my cousin was murdered the day after Christmas of 2019. I feel like my mind is going to burst. I’m having extreme migraines and I can’t think straight. I feel so empty and despite having a select few of people to talk to, I feel alone. One of my best friends I told this to got angry with my because I didn’t want to go to the police and she has not talked to me. I feel as though some of my friends shouldn’t even be my friends at this point and I feel so fucking alone. I feel so empty. I feel nothing. I have laid in bed all day today and my muscles and bones ache. I have no energy to move. I just want someone to be here to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay and that things will get better. I can’t get rid of this emptiness I feel inside of me and it’s eating me alive.",-0.9893,negative,ashamed
943,MentalHealthSupport,Hi everyone. I need help. My mind cannot carry much more.,listener_1,2,"Hi friend. I am so sorry for all of those trauma. I’m not entirely even sure how to respond because everything I try to type out seems so insincere - you’re life sounds intense and I really wish I could offer some words of encouragement or advice.   All I can say is that when I was 15, my cousins baby passed away a few hours after she was born and in the following weeks, a very popular classmate of mine took advantage of my emotional instability and forced me to go down on him. I wasn’t believed because I seemed unreliable due to my grief but after fighting like hell for many years, I’m finally getting to a more stable place in my life. I guess the only real thing I can say is that you have to fight like hell. It doesn’t matter if you fight for yourself or if you fight for a friend or family member or if you fight like hell because of spite. I’m not sure if this helps at all, and I’m sorry if it sounded like I was trying to make this about me - I just had an experience you may be able to relate to. I just wanted to say that I was a very weak willed person and lost a lot of battles with myself. You sound way stronger than I am. I really hope you have the chance to thrive one day. Best of luck.",-0.9242,negative,sympathizing
943,MentalHealthSupport,Hi everyone. I need help. My mind cannot carry much more.,speaker,3,Thank you so much for your words. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to endure. I hope one day I can get to the strength you’ve gotten. I don’t know you but I am proud of you and your kind words have brought tears to my eyes. I will do the best I can to bounce back from all this and be the person I know I can be. Best of luck to you as well. I hope this new year and all next ones will be good to you ❤️,0.9896,positive,wishing
943,MentalHealthSupport,Hi everyone. I need help. My mind cannot carry much more.,listener_1,4,"Also, I just want to add that simply by posting here, you’ve already given yourself permission to choose to figure out your next step. Seeking advice is an excellent way to figure out how you need to cope. I coped by fighting and being angry until I didn’t need to be anymore, and now things are settling down and I can finally feel some peace. I hope you find a healthier way to cope, but whatever you need to do to survive is honestly ok. Best of luck to you!",0.9577,positive,trusting
943,MentalHealthSupport,Hi everyone. I need help. My mind cannot carry much more.,speaker,5,"Reading this has cleared up my mind some to be able to think of all the things I want to do. I love to ice skate and I think I might take up figure skating. I also want to travel some and get out. I should put time aside to make plans for these things and try to clear up my mind with the joys of life and our earth. I really do need to focus more on myself and improving my quality of life starting with my mind by doing things and getting out, keeping myself more busy. I’m sorry for what you’ve went through. I’m so glad that you got out of that relationship. I’m sure you felt all the weight lifted when that ended. I’ve felt that feeling once and it was the best feeling ever. I’ll never forget it. I don’t know you but I’m insanely proud of you and your growth. I can tell how beautiful of a person you are when reading this. Thank you for this. Your words will stick with me through this ❤️",0.9822,positive,hopeful
944,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help me?,speaker,1,"I’m going through a breakup and I’ve officially lost all hope and I’m distracted all of the time and I’m not able to focus or feel good about myself, but I don’t want to get professional help- face to face and I have no friends so is there anyone random I can talk to?",0.3002,positive,lonely
944,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help me?,listener_1,2,Me bc I’m doing the same I’m like 6 months out man,0.3612,positive,apprehensive
944,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help me?,speaker,3,What makes you feel better my dude?,0.4404,positive,questioning
944,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help me?,listener_2,4,Also I can make hot water,0.0,neutral,confident
944,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone help me?,listener_1,5,"I’ve been writing on my journey -here is why we broke up: he cheated with his friend on me for 6 months we had been going out for 4 years, I get it I loved him but if it were my friend he would be beaten up by now so I’m trying to treat myself like I would a friend -a couple of mind processes that could help (you should only do what makes you feel best or makes the best sense for you, there’s not one that’s better than another everyone’s different)    -it’ll come in waves some days you’ll feel ok again and other days you’ll feel horrible it’s going to be a lot of those stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining,depression, acceptance) going over and over again and that’s ok you just need to feel it out     -you have to accept that it’ll take time     -keep yourself busy and only think it through when you can with a friend and are sober I really needed to rely on my friends     -keep a journal so you can see your process of thought it can hold your sad thoughts and such too it’s just for you to look at your trends this is a time for self study    -you’ve been single before you can be single again the hard part now is to reinforce self love    -know your worth find things you like to do or try to remember what you did before them or accept that you did find things you like while you were with them    I don’t know everything about breakups so I’d also ask others but I hope this helps and goodluck you can pm me if you need someone to talk to",0.995,positive,sentimental
945,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like crap.,speaker,1,"I feel so empty rn, I don't have friends who I can freely talk to, they judge me, even head space judged me, I just need friends I can turn to and who might get me? I don't know I just need someone",0.2685,positive,lonely
945,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like crap.,listener_1,2,Do you have a pet?,0.0,neutral,questioning
945,MentalHealthSupport,Feeling like crap.,speaker,3,I have a fish?,0.0,neutral,questioning
946,MentalHealthSupport,New Plan,speaker,1,"So I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed for the last year because of medication switches, emotionally damaging events, and even the fun events I looked forward to. I have been hiding from my family, boyfriend, and friends for a while now to avoid talking to people. I don't want to be near anyone because I know I'm just going to sit there and cry about something stupid or I'm going to just awkwardly interact with my stepsister, and I just haven't been here for it. My psychologist told my dad to take my phone and delete my social media so I can't contact my friends online or hide on my phone when I'm not feeling social, but he said he wasn't going to do that, but he's coming up with a new plan for me to interact with my family.   He's started to tell me when he wants me to get off the internet and spend time with everyone outside of my bedroom, and it hasn't been too hard (?) I guess, if that's the word I'm looking for. He's letting me keep my phone to play games on as long as I'm interacting with everyone, but when he feels like I'm not being active he asks me to turn it off and set it on the table for a little while. He's putting together an agenda of things he wants us all to do together, in hopes that this helps my mental stance as well as my relationship with my stepmom/stepsister; he wants us to go bowling, go out to eat, go to the park, etc. as a family to see if this helps me get out of my weird little funk. I'm being taken completely off of all of my medications for the next month before I start taking a new medication. I've switched medications i believe 2 times in 2019 and they made me feel extremely suicidal and lonely to the point where I just laid in my bed crying or sleeping all day long. They're """"detoxing"""" me before we try the new medication and actual human interaction.   I'm hoping that this works out because feeling the way I do is exhausting, and it's just not something I can stop feeling. I want to get to the point where I can hang out with my friends and family and feel like I belong opposed to feeling extremely overwhelmed and awkward like I'm not supposed to be there. I want this to be the thing that actually helps me.",0.9148,positive,lonely
946,MentalHealthSupport,New Plan,listener_1,2,Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻 I really hope it goes well,0.6478,positive,hopeful
946,MentalHealthSupport,New Plan,speaker,3,I really appreciate it ❤,0.8016,positive,grateful
947,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how well I'm dealing with life,speaker,1,"Sorry for long post but meh  I (18M) am almost pleased with how my life is, how it's developing. I have decided to not run away and live on the street lol because that seems like shit after watching some documentaries, so at least I know that. I do like myself and I have an idea of who I am, which is an improvement. I've taken up bass playing and am getting to know a few people, I'm even going out with a girl this friday. Yeah idk I'm alright with my future, I think I know what I want to do the next few years, everything's developing nicely.  I still have the issue of my mind being totally irrational. I have suicidal and or self harm thoughts every day just flying past, even when I'm not feeling like shit. I also get thoughts about hurting others, some purely abstract like slitting my friend's throat and some more doable like beating up a random guy I see when I'm walking around late at night.   For months I feel like shit, I know it's irrational so I usually don't hurt myself but the last time it happened I'd just happened to have turned 18 so I could buy cigarettes, started smoking, am a smoker now. I also started using drugs regularly, I'm not dependant on it but since christmas I've been getting high several times a week, even when around friends and family without them knowing. Found out it's easier to deal with them being annoying when you're high.  I've also cut myself a couple of times, not deep, but as I've understood most people never intentionally cut themselves. I think I might just be bored out of my mind, but I don't think I should be, I have stuff to do I just don't do it.  When I don't feel low I feel super excited and energized for weeks to months, I believe that these periods are usually shorter than the low ones but I know that I've been ""hyper"" for like a year before so it's unpredictable. During these times I feel like the king of the world, so I do stupid things. It's not that my thought processes change too much, it's more how I'm dealing with them. I get impulsive, which can be good but I am becoming an adult and I need to be able to take responsibility, at least enough not to drop a job in favour of some other activity that I think might make me famous or rich or whatever. I also get too much energy to just sit down and focus on something, like say school work.  I am scared of getting proffessional help though, I don't want anyone in my family to know about these things, prefferably not my friends either. I get high and do stupid shit all on my own, when alone, I don’t have anyone to do it with. I know that they'd change their opinions on me. I don't really have anyone to discuss it with either (except proffessionals but I've talked to them before because I ran away when I was 14 and other stuff and it didn't help). Idk I just needed to vent to someone, if just strangers on reddit, and maybe get some advice or reassurance that I'm not too fucked up to function as a human being",0.9838,positive,content
947,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how well I'm dealing with life,listener_1,2,"I don’t think you’re too fucked up to be a normal person, but please don’t shy away from seeking help from a professional. I’ve been through similar things - wanting to hurt myself or others, irrational thoughts and behavior. I finally took the step to see a doctor after having a nervous breakdown. I’m very open with people about what I’ve been through and nobody judges me for it. Not my family, not my friends. In fact my parents encouraged me to see a therapist after watching me go through my meltdown. What matters is that you heal yourself. The right coaching with the right medication can do wonders! There’s no cure-all, but being mindful of what’s happening and getting some insight into why it’s happening and how to catch yourself and prevent it really does help. That’s what therapists are there for. Please don’t ever shy away from getting help if you need it because of the stigma that people will “think differently” of you. I’m 38 years old and I still struggle with things every day, but through counseling and meds it’s been easier for me to get through it.",-0.2972,negative,trusting
947,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how well I'm dealing with life,speaker,3,"Thanks for the comment. I think I know deep down that I should be getting help, I'll most likely just fail my family and friends more if I don't, as well as myself. I'll probably try to find some help in the near future, might try reaching out to a few people too",0.7665,positive,guilty
947,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how well I'm dealing with life,listener_1,4,Check out the book “The Happiness Trap” too. It’s pretty helpful.,0.8625,positive,acknowledging
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,speaker,1,"i kind need help figuring out what the problem i have is. i cannot afford to go to a doctor but i want to at least know what work-arounds ill need to get accustomed to.      the best way i can describe it as, is a constant static in my head. the kind of static you'd get when trying to find a clear channel on TV back when that was a thing. i figured this issue out during a time when i took an anti- anxiety medication due to mass stress. i needed something to relax and it helped a ton. when it kicked in i felt a clearness i've never known. it felt as if i tuned into the right frequency and got an HD channel on TV. i could articulate and form sentences better than i normally could. i also had a newfound level of understanding. i could easily dissect and figure out things a lot better.       Dyscalculia is something i could kind of relate to, and i've had teachers claim when i was younger that i had adhd. but when tested i always had negative results.  any bit of information would help. i know its not very detailed or transparent but this explanation is the best i've got. i also want to say thank you ahead of time, for any time taken from your lives to respond. i struggle with whatever this is and i can never get any straight answers.",0.9659,positive,anxious
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,listener_1,2,im kind of confused do you hear a ringing in your ears?,-0.3804,negative,questioning
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,speaker,3,"i do not, its more of a mental focus issue. like background noise that isnt there but clouds my memory, thoughts or concentration.",0.1901,positive,neutral
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,listener_1,4,"thats a tough one for me, if its a focus thing you could try time blocking your day, there is a great book called The One Thing, it talks about focusing on one thing at a time but also making sure that the time is written down, when the time is over the task is done and youre ready to focus on the next thing. I hope that helps",0.9319,positive,consoling
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,speaker,5,i really appreciate it. anything helps honestly. ill give that a read when i can.,0.6997,positive,acknowledging
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,speaker,6,"to answer your question. i have very neutral feelings about both its not bad, because it can be worse. but it could be better so long as i keep on doing what im doing.",0.5754,positive,neutral
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,speaker,7,"its honestly really difficult to explain tbh. when i took the medication i noted, i realized that my levels of focus were very low. it was a bizarre experience that to this day still feels like it was a dream.",0.0036,neutral,neutral
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,listener_2,8,"yes, so you are on the right path. keep walking, I'm very proud of you that you say it could be better as long as you keep doing what you are doing. you acknowledge you are on the path.",0.8399,positive,neutral
948,MentalHealthSupport,not sure if this is appropriate,listener_2,9,and it will get better! So keep doing what you are doing.,0.4926,positive,consoling
949,MentalHealthSupport,Getting Better... I hope,speaker,1,"Hey Guys, first time poster, I have been through the ringer this past year. I havent performed well in my job since breaking up with my ex, i have gone through short relationships and then felt worse after im stuck in a constant state of body dysmorphia and I had suicidal thoughts at least a few times a week. Also Im having a baby girl with my wife in May. I recently started a podcast to talk through different coping mechanisms, I started journaling all my thoughts down and I find time to sit down and discuss with muy wife what is going on in my head. It all seems to be helping, I have a huge span of mental clarity and focus. I just want this to stay, has anybody had experiences with fluctuations like this, do they go away, I'm just looking for any answers or advice anybody has. Also I smoke weed before bed every night.",-0.343,negative,lonely
949,MentalHealthSupport,Getting Better... I hope,listener_1,2,What's the name of the podcast? Thanks for sharing  btw. you might like our founder's tedx talk  [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwBHVzAvJqY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwBHVzAvJqY),0.8290000000000001,positive,questioning
949,MentalHealthSupport,Getting Better... I hope,speaker,3,"[https://anchor.fm/kevin-g-beckett/episodes/Things-I-Learned-This-Weekend-eaag68](https://anchor.fm/kevin-g-beckett/episodes/Things-I-Learned-This-Weekend-eaag68)  Here is the link to the podcast, watching the ted talk right now, thanks for the recomendation",0.4404,positive,nostalgic
949,MentalHealthSupport,Getting Better... I hope,listener_1,4,"Holy crap you chatted about the video in the podcast! Love it! You totally nailed it. I have a podcast too, [www.rumpusroompodcast.com](https://www.rumpusroompodcast.com). If you ever have guests let me know! Would love to chat.   I agree about your thoughts on social media and the staged components, I like how you turned the corner on thinking about social media more from a good light, from a self-reflective perspective. Also liked the idea about giving what you want. Also, thanks for sharing your personal story with depression and your perspective. Everyone's perspectives helps add context to the mental health crisis experience worldwide - self-disclosure is key.  Keep it up!",0.9644,positive,agreeing
950,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetful of mental health,speaker,1,I feel like I forget that I havemental health issues and I bully myself for being weak. I don't have a support system for my PTSD; it feels like Taboo to address it :(,-0.7997,negative,ashamed
950,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetful of mental health,listener_1,2,"Nah, no taboo. Theres even memes made out of it lol.  Also bullying someone/yourself for being ""weak"" is just straight stupid, you gotta encourage people to get ""stronger"".",-0.4939,negative,agreeing
950,MentalHealthSupport,Forgetful of mental health,speaker,3,"I'm trying a thing where I encourage myself to do something because I ""deserve"" it.",0.5106,positive,hopeful
951,MentalHealthSupport,First Panic Attack in Years: Help/Advice,speaker,1,"So last night I had a panic attack that was extremely different for me. I still feel shakey and sick, I ended up calling off work today because of how awful I feel rn.   It was different because it started with a smell. I have been diagnosed with ptsd but, usually triggers are ok to walk thru with normal self talk but last night, I wasn't able to.   TD;RL: I had a bad panic attack that was triggered by a smell and now I'm too afraid to ask for help from my counselor and feel guilty for calling off work today. What should I do?? I mean obviously talk to the counselor but, I don't want to bother her on her days off.  What happened (longer version): Anyway, I smelled that smell and next thing I knew were flashes of images from when I worked in a different country. That experience in itself was a traumatic one but the images wouldn't stop. That's when I couldn't breathe, everything stopped. My world stopped. I felt so alone and in the dark, without being able to breathe. Like a fish out of water. I kept repeating words to self talk, bring myself back. My vision would narrow and I couldnt see much or comprehend object in anyway. It lasted maybe 30 minutes. Long enough for my mac and cheese to boil over and turn into a goopy mess... when I regained some clarity I was on the floor with everything being wet. My clothes, the floor, and even my kitchen hand towel. I shakily got up and got sick immediately in the kitchen sick.  It's the next morning now and I'm still incredibly shaken up still. I called off but now.. I dont know what to do. How to process this or how I'm even expected to work after this. I have a counselor but I dont want to bother her with stupid questions or be sent to the hospital. You know?  But what could I do?",-0.9851,negative,anxious
951,MentalHealthSupport,First Panic Attack in Years: Help/Advice,listener_1,2,"Don't get down on yourself for having a panic attack - it sucks a lot when it happens but if you think about it, you hadn't had one in years! That's an accomplishment in itself. Take extra time if you can to relax and do some self care things.  If you talk to your counselor, I don't think you'll be sent to the hospital, and they're job is to answer your questions.    I get what you mean about having to work after that kind of thing. If it happens again, get a note from your counselor/dr so you can get some time off work. They would have to understand if it's coming from a dr and probably aren't allowed to ask details nor should you have to explain it to them.",0.6696,positive,trusting
951,MentalHealthSupport,First Panic Attack in Years: Help/Advice,speaker,3,"Thank you! I did speak to my counselor that day, she had a cancellation thankfully. She said something similarly. However, my boss is a freaking jerk. Like, idk why he is because when we were coworkers last summer he was so cool, chill, and just a wholesome person. Now, he micromanages and always forgets my HR stuff. I took Tuesday off due tot he panic attack and when I come into work I'm immediately greeted with ""You pto is getting pretty low, you need to be more careful"". I have notations from both HR and our OEO office about my disabilities and dr appts (Office of Equal Opportunity [OEO] that serves both students and staff- I work at a university as a janitor). I had to cut him short and say, ""Hey, this inappropriate (standing in the middle of a dining center with students around) and that yesterday is OEO related"". Thankfully he backed off.. but it's like this everytime I have an issue. Even when I text to take a moment for myself I get a ""Well dont take too long, its busy"" which I get but like... get off you bum and help then! Its 50% of the supervisor's roll to help us clean too.  Sorry I went on a rant... I'm just frustrated which isnr helping. My director extended a hand to me abt a different position, so I'm hoping to get out of this current situation... hopefully. I told myself another 3 months and if I cant transfer or get out then I need to leave the university.",0.9818,positive,annoyed
951,MentalHealthSupport,First Panic Attack in Years: Help/Advice,listener_1,4,"Ugh that's annoying. If your PTO is getting low, that's your problem, not his.   Good luck - hope you get a different position v soon!",-0.8904,negative,wishing
951,MentalHealthSupport,First Panic Attack in Years: Help/Advice,speaker,5,"Ug ikr? If I have to leave without pay, that's on me!  Thank you, I really appreciate it!",0.733,positive,sympathizing
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,1,"This girl I was with for a decent amount of time broke up with me because of my depression and its only made it 10x worse. I can't find the strength to do anything from eating to socializing, this life just doesnt seem to need me anymore. I do nothing for anyone in my life and anytime I'm around it just seems to kill everyones mood and I can see it. Whats the point of being on this earth just to live in misery. I can't keep doing this and it just needs to end now. I cant continue to live like this. So this is it, I'm done.       - Bert",-0.9591,negative,sad
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,2,its difficult to find real life.If the person cant stand with you in your difficult time then they dont deserve you at all!,-0.6476,negative,neutral
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,3,"Thanks man, I appreciate you, I really do.",0.6808,positive,sympathizing
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_3,4,dude jut dont hurt yourself for some nobody!,0.471,positive,agreeing
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,5,"She was my everything, she was my source of happiness and its gone for good",0.7579,positive,sad
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_4,6,"I feel you, I got dumped a month ago and it still kills, but it gradually gets better everyday I’m telling you",0.1901,positive,consoling
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,7,Thank you❤,0.7717,positive,grateful
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_2,8,"Thanks man, I appreciate it💜",0.8689,positive,grateful
951,MentalHealthSupport,I need help,listener_5,9,Glad I could help. Have things started to improve?,0.8225,positive,sympathizing
952,MentalHealthSupport,idk if this is just me being confused or what,speaker,1,"so i haven’t been doing great lately. in the past i have felt kind of.. out of body a few times but nothing too major.  quite a lot of times now though, i have felt so much despair that i’ve considered whether i’m trapped in a nightmare, and i felt unattached to my body because i was so down and i was actually starting to think that was reality..  can anyone help me identify what this is or how i can be rid of it? or at least try and tone it down somewhat lol.",0.3804,positive,questioning
952,MentalHealthSupport,idk if this is just me being confused or what,listener_1,2,"Sounds like depersonalization/derealization. I'm not sure what best to do about it, but maybe knowing the terms will be helpful for you. Good luck!",0.8985,positive,suggesting
952,MentalHealthSupport,idk if this is just me being confused or what,speaker,3,"ah, i’ve heard the terms before but haven’t really stuck with them in case i overthink it, which I sometimes do..",-0.4478,negative,neutral
952,MentalHealthSupport,idk if this is just me being confused or what,speaker,4,"thank you so much! it’s nice to know i’m not the only one haha, i will be seeing a counselor soon but i don’t have very high hopes as my experiences with them aren’t the best, i guess.",0.9432,positive,acknowledging
952,MentalHealthSupport,idk if this is just me being confused or what,listener_2,5,I hope it works out!,0.4926,positive,encouraging
953,MentalHealthSupport,So I haven’t been diagnosed with anything nor have I ever been to a therapist but idk if this is normal,speaker,1,"So I find it hard to believe that other people can think and have emotions too. the thought of someone having their own mind and thought patterns doesn’t make sense in my head, I feel like if I can’t see someone then are they even really there. the thought of life happening out side of my visions like other people inside of their houses living life I can’t comprehend it.   If anyone knows what this is or if it’s normal then please comment",0.7783,positive,surprised
953,MentalHealthSupport,So I haven’t been diagnosed with anything nor have I ever been to a therapist but idk if this is normal,listener_1,2,This sounds complex. My brain processes the world differently too (not like you) and I know how hard it can be to get other people to understand it.  Does this way of thinking upsetting to you? Like is it a big problem for you and depressing or just kind of interesting?,-0.7479,negative,questioning
953,MentalHealthSupport,So I haven’t been diagnosed with anything nor have I ever been to a therapist but idk if this is normal,speaker,3,"Hello , thanks for your reply. And it’s not hurting me but sometimes I find I can’t be mean to people because I completely forget they have feelings and they can get hurt too",-0.7013,negative,sympathizing
953,MentalHealthSupport,So I haven’t been diagnosed with anything nor have I ever been to a therapist but idk if this is normal,listener_1,4,"I’m glad to hear it’s not controlling your life but it can definitely get to that point. I’d chat with a mental health professional for sure. You don’t have to be in trouble or panicking to talk to someone so I’d definitely get more info early (like you’ve already done!) so you can identify any progression of these thoughts that could lead to destructive behavior.  Also, define normal...you can’t. You’re special and that’s cool as hell. We’re real out here btw 🙂",0.6329,positive,agreeing
953,MentalHealthSupport,So I haven’t been diagnosed with anything nor have I ever been to a therapist but idk if this is normal,speaker,5,I can *,0.0,neutral,annoyed
954,MentalHealthSupport,I am so uncertain about my past and present.,speaker,1,"I’ve never tried to put this into words so I hope it makes sense.   I recently moved out because my relationship with my parents was toxic.  Im 17, and I’ve known I’m an entrepreneur and just plain different since about grade 8, and I’m so confident in my success for the future. But I struggle with “I don’t know” In so many aspects of my past and present. Like I don’t know, at all, what the fuck was going on in my house. I don’t know if it was normal or completely bizarre. I don’t know if that was abuse. I don’t know if I was right or wrong (I know I wasn’t wrong per se, I know my parents were fucked up).  I don’t know if my parents have mental issues because they wouldn’t address them if they did (traditional European). I haven’t spoken to my mom since I moved, and I ran into my dad sonde he’s a bus driver but of it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t have spoken to them. I don’t know if that’s normal.   I’ll add that even though they were not addicts, and were well off, my parents made me want to die. We really were a toxic combo. But moving out really ducked my up, and I realized after a month that I miss living with them, BUT I DONT. My girlfriend said it was Stockholm syndrome, but I. Don’t. Know.   So I feel like I’m going crazy because I don’t have any confirmation about what has happened in my past. Please I need some outside opinions",-0.9792,negative,apprehensive
954,MentalHealthSupport,I am so uncertain about my past and present.,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. What happened was not normal, and I would say Stockholm syndrome is not out of the question",0.4939,positive,agreeing
954,MentalHealthSupport,I am so uncertain about my past and present.,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply, I believe so too, but again: when I have no solid consensus on anything It’s hard. Everything I’m my emotional life so far is abstract, it’s not tangible",0.0987,positive,agreeing
955,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know where else to turn,speaker,1,"It's currently 3:40am and, despite being physically and mentally exhausted, I can't sleep. I keep panicking over little things and I'm on the verge of tears for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. I know this doesn't seem like a big issue compared to some of the other issues that people are encountering. But, I have nowhere else to turn. Everyone I know is asleep and I'd rather not wake them, I checked sites in which one on one support is offered but they're all (understandably) closed. I could turn to family since this is an ongoing issue (never this bad though) but it's so much easier to ask people you don't know for help, rather than family. Especially if the family has a tendancy to brush everything off and say things like ""oh, you'll get over it"" or ""no big deal"". This post is so messy but I really can't think straight. I'm freaking out and I don't know why. Any help is greatly appreciated.  Tl dr: Cannot sleep due to mild panic attack over I don't know what. What do I do?",-0.9246,negative,apprehensive
955,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know where else to turn,listener_1,2,"Hey I can understand what you are going through, Some nights I constantly stay awake just wondering what if this happened or what if i did this or how would things have turned out, its easy enough to say that you just cant think like that and its another to actually shut off your brain. I can tell you from experience I thought my family just brushed it all off, but when you actually sit down and explain whats going on they can be more understanding, if you're family isn't the people to talk to, find some friends, once i opened up to my friends about what was going on my friendships started to become a lot more profound and deeper. I hope this helps.",0.968,positive,neutral
955,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know where else to turn,speaker,3,"Thank you so much, I'll give that a try.",0.3612,positive,wishing
955,MentalHealthSupport,Don't know where else to turn,speaker,4,"I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. If you'd ever like to talk to someone, I'm always here. You, or anyone else who'd just like to chat, can contact me on discord at PopeMishaTheFirst#8733  Thank you. I'll look into it and hopefully give that a try since last night was the same sleepless struggle.",0.1548,positive,sympathizing
956,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone have a normal conversation with me?,speaker,1,To stave off this feeling. I’m so depressed. I’ll talk about anything you want to,-0.3956,negative,lonely
956,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone have a normal conversation with me?,listener_1,2,"Hey, I’m willing to talk about anything. DM me if you want.",0.0772,positive,trusting
956,MentalHealthSupport,Can anyone have a normal conversation with me?,speaker,3,Ah I love you. Thank you so much you are unbelievably thoughtful,0.8622,positive,acknowledging
957,MentalHealthSupport,Wtf is up with me -SERIOUS-,speaker,1,"Right so, rarely and I mean like varying from one every week to one yearly I wake up in the middle of night and feel extremely panicked and it seems at the time that I have a perfect reason to be but the day after I have completed forgotten what it was all I can remember (ps sorry if this doesn’t make sense but this is what my mind goes to) doing nothing and something happens which is worse than death... an eternal existence of which was triggered by me doing nothing I remember numbers and a thought of an extremely long plane with my family at the end but I am unable to reach them, endlessly walking I also remember something about a sun. The best way I can describe it is it is like a dream, it makes complete sense at the time but I can’t remember much after... please help",0.7816,positive,terrified
957,MentalHealthSupport,Wtf is up with me -SERIOUS-,listener_1,2,Do you ever count numbers out loud trying to calm yourself down? This happened to me as a kid when I would get sick and get a fever. I had this like existential crisis that felt insurmountable and I felt like I had to count to infinity.,-0.184,negative,anxious
957,MentalHealthSupport,Wtf is up with me -SERIOUS-,speaker,3,"Nah I’m defiantly awake, I’ve had them since I was really young and my mum had to deal with them lmao",0.5423,positive,agreeing
957,MentalHealthSupport,Wtf is up with me -SERIOUS-,listener_2,4,"Hi wrong!), I'm Dad👨",-0.5255,negative,ashamed
957,MentalHealthSupport,Wtf is up with me -SERIOUS-,speaker,5,I’m awake and it makes complete sense in the moment they happen more regularly when I’m sick and when they pass (which is when I go to sleep) and wake up I can’t remember why,-0.5106,negative,agreeing
958,MentalHealthSupport,To terrified to take the next step.,speaker,1,I have a myriad of mental disorders. Main one anxiety. I know I need to see a dr who can change up my meds to hopefully get something that works better for me. And I KNOW I NEED therapy. I just can’t take the step of calling offices and making appointments. I am also scared that I will do what I did in my last therapy (several years ago) and just talk about mild annoyances and never really delved into my true heart of what is wrong with me. I just wish someone could call and make the appointments for me and I just show up. (Btw I hate talking on phones) I just needed a little vent with like minded people.,0.5165,positive,apprehensive
958,MentalHealthSupport,To terrified to take the next step.,listener_1,2,"I HEAR YA. not that this is how you feel, but personally I have this way of thinking back to my childhood when my mom would make the appointments for me, do all the talking, bring me to the appointments. Now as an adult it's extremely hard to do this for myself.   Ya just...gotta. I didnt for a long time...like years and years...because I didnt have insurance. Now I lost my job, got insurance and had to do the dreadful search. Luckily, my local hospital gave me a number and luckily someone cancelled there appointment that day-and I quickly was allowed in. If I had to wait any longer, I'm not sure if I would even go.  Hopefully you can find the smallest amount of drive and give a few places a call and just go. Other advice, just go straight to the e.r. and talk with someone right then and there.",0.5373,positive,nostalgic
958,MentalHealthSupport,To terrified to take the next step.,listener_2,3,"Hi not sure if I would even go, I'm Dad👨",-0.2411,negative,apprehensive
959,MentalHealthSupport,How’s everyone feeling tonight?,speaker,1,I had a good day  Feeling restless  Looking forward to going to sleep,0.3182,positive,anxious
959,MentalHealthSupport,How’s everyone feeling tonight?,listener_1,2,Everything. But it’s nice to have anyone ask. :) thank you,0.899,positive,acknowledging
959,MentalHealthSupport,How’s everyone feeling tonight?,speaker,3,"We have to support each other - to remind us we are not alone, even when our mind makes us feel alone",0.3485,positive,lonely
959,MentalHealthSupport,How’s everyone feeling tonight?,speaker,4,Yes! Peaceful & restful sleep for us all!,0.8395,positive,encouraging
960,MentalHealthSupport,I was finally diagnosed,speaker,1,"After about 10 years of my first official diagnosis, I lost my job and regained health insurance which allowed me to go and get my mental health checked out. So, I got an assessment and was diagnosed again with major depression and generalized anxiety.   It sucks not only that I have this shit, but it more so sucks that this mental state doesnt allow me to accept it. It just keeps telling me that the doctor is wrong and I have something else. Like OCD, add, manic depression, acute anxiety, ect. Not just ""major depression and generalized anxiety "" it just doesnt seem like that's what THIS is.   Anyway, just thought is share. Off to try and get zoloft or something.   Love, Eeyore.",-0.8461,negative,angry
960,MentalHealthSupport,I was finally diagnosed,listener_1,2,hope things get  better for you!,0.7263,positive,consoling
960,MentalHealthSupport,I was finally diagnosed,speaker,3,Thanks ❤,0.7964,positive,wishing
960,MentalHealthSupport,I was finally diagnosed,speaker,4,Thankyou 😊,0.7184,positive,wishing
960,MentalHealthSupport,I was finally diagnosed,speaker,5,Thankyou very much ❤,0.6666,positive,sympathizing
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,speaker,1,"I've been fighting this two for the past three years.  Never tried SSRIs for more than 5 days because I fear deeply about side effects. Ive tried meditation, cbd, therapy, doing sports and so much stuff without success due to my panic attacks always winning and kicking me down.  Last sunday I had an enormous panic attack while taking near my house. Had to call ER  and they took like 3hrs to calm me down. Since that day I can't leave my room without my heart pumping out of my throat and feeling my life is about to end. It is getting me to a  point that I cant see my girlfriend, my friends and I can only stand brief conversations with my parents. Depression has started to kick in due to this whole episode. Not longer working on my own business and left my studies about a year ago due to agoraphobia.  Today a psiquiatrist is coming home and he has suggested to start using SSRIs (lexapro or prozac) and some anxiety meds like clonazepam to lower my anxiety levels during the start.  Im currently surrounded by crazy anxiety thoughts and cant even jump out of my yoga mat or bed. Geeze, cant even take a shower without panicking.  Has anybody experienced something like this?  I'm looking for support",-0.9391,negative,terrified
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,listener_1,2,"Your not alone. I've also been having anxiety,  last week I had to meet a ambulance  on the highway cause I thought I was having a heart attack. Dont give up on finding ways to cope. I was prescribed clonazepam  for anxiety but was only taking it when I need it. Now I take .5mg a day for the past week cause that helps me. Didnt  want to but i need to get things done with my kids . Find what triggers it. Stress, something  new in your  life or even get your vitamin  levels checked. I'm no doctor  but I been going through this for a month now. I hope you find something  to help, mental health  matters. DONT GIVE UP.",0.6744,positive,apprehensive
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,speaker,3,Thanks man i appreciate your help. Im really optimist towards my appointment today. Can't wait to have my life back again! Wish you luck and success!,0.9682,positive,wishing
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,speaker,4,Hello kia72!  Your comment encourages me so much that I can't wait to start my treatment! We are all in this battle together  and I'm sure that if you are already winning the fight the flight and elevator block is just matter of time. Take it easy! You will get there!,0.6449,positive,hopeful
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,listener_2,5,"Hi scared it'll get stuck, but baby steps, I'm Dad👨",-0.3506,negative,neutral
961,MentalHealthSupport,Extreme Anxiety and Agoraphobia,listener_3,6,I'm so glad to hear :) please keep me posted!,0.8353,positive,acknowledging
962,MentalHealthSupport,How to differ reality from the paranoid toughts produced by our minds?,speaker,1,I have depression and general anxiety disorder.,-0.7964,negative,sad
962,MentalHealthSupport,How to differ reality from the paranoid toughts produced by our minds?,listener_1,2,"I’m not sure if you are but... if you’re talking about making the difference clear between irrational and rational thoughts, a great skill to practice is saying your irrational thoughts out loud.  Saying an irrational thought out loud (to yourself of course) really reveals to you how stupid it sounds.  This is a great coping skill for people that deal with anxiety, negative self-talk, etc.! Hope this is what you were talking about and I hope this helps!❤️",0.8178,positive,neutral
962,MentalHealthSupport,How to differ reality from the paranoid toughts produced by our minds?,speaker,3,Uau that makes total sense,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
963,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to rant,speaker,1,"It frustrates me that people who don’t suffer from mental health issues don’t understand that it is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week deal. You can’t just turn it off, and it’s not as simple as talking to a therapist a few times and feeling better. It isn’t that easy. They all say “oh, I’ve been there”, but have you? Do you REALLY, being honest with yourself, KNOW what it’s like to suffer all day every day and have people blame you for something you cannot help, and make assumptions about you because of it? If you had “been there”, I’d hope you’d be more understanding at least. But you aren’t. Because you haven’t “been there”, and you don’t “get it”. Stop fooling yourself and maybe LISTEN rather than taking over the conversation and silencing those who ACTUALLY suffer in favour of presenting theories on what you think it’s like.",-0.4376,negative,annoyed
963,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to rant,listener_1,2,I'm with you on this. I have removed these types of people from my life because they don't care to understand.,-0.3875,negative,agreeing
963,MentalHealthSupport,Just need to rant,speaker,3,It’s a massive source of frustration for me personally and I’m sure it’s the same for many others. It’s sad that people still think this way :/,-0.743,negative,annoyed
964,MentalHealthSupport,I need some help with loneliness,speaker,1,I have managed social anxiety and depression and recently everytime my friends leave or im stuck at work while they are doing stuff I feel very lonely and left out. Does anyone have any tips on how to help with this. It really been hitting me hard recently so any advice at all would be very appreciated,-0.1027,negative,lonely
964,MentalHealthSupport,I need some help with loneliness,listener_1,2,"I learned a therapeutic modality that helps me manage this. No quick tip, unfortunately. I can give you the link if you're interested.",0.1027,positive,grateful
964,MentalHealthSupport,I need some help with loneliness,speaker,3,That would be very appreciated thank you,0.7485,positive,acknowledging
964,MentalHealthSupport,I need some help with loneliness,listener_1,4,"Sure, no problem. Here it is: www.innerpathways.org  It's free, online, private, and go-at-your-own pace.   Good luck! I hope you find something that works for you! :) <3",0.9598,positive,wishing
964,MentalHealthSupport,I need some help with loneliness,speaker,5,I have people to talk with when im alone it just seems like even when im around people i feel isolated and alone no matter what.,-0.4356,negative,lonely
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,speaker,1,"Hi everyone. I thought I would share some good news. I made a post a little over a week ago about feeling overall impulsive and unstable. That was only the surface, but I realize maybe that's what I needed. A wake-up call to try finding help again. This morning is the first day in sixteen years that I started therapy. Part of the problem with finding a therapist was finances, health insurance coverage, and distance, but for some reason, everything fell into place at just the right time ( I live in the US so health care isn't necessarily straightforward in the best circumstances). I've had just one (introductory) session, but I like her! She's easy to talk to, makes me feel at ease, and her practice happens to be a short walk from where I live. It's been a long and tough road and an eight-month search/battle with my insurance to find professional help, but I'm glad to say things are definitely taking a turn in the right direction.",0.9878,positive,grateful
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,listener_1,2,"Congrats! I am glad you are are getting help and therapist you like!   I am working with psychiatrist now, about 9 months of trying different meds and tweaking the doses. Today I had a win: this evening I managed both to brush my teeth and go through skin care regimen! I hope that this is my newest meds addition is working!",0.9708,positive,proud
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,speaker,3,"Ty! And congratulations to you as well! Nine months is a long time to go through trial an error with your medication, but I'm glad you had a win. It's so important to recognize and celebrate those victories as they come.",0.9667,positive,wishing
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,listener_1,4,"Oh yeah. One class of meds gave me the weirdest side effects: paranoia from one, anxiety from second, 0 impulse control fron third (these one also gave me energy and mood uplift, but that makes it worse - you get an impulse for donut, you go shop and buy it. Before I at least didn't have energy for that).  I hope your journey will be easier and faster!",0.3228,positive,consoling
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,speaker,5,"Sounds like you've been through a lot, friend. I'm sorry your journey has been so tough. Having a place to share our own experiences with our mental health has helped me even mostly being a silent participant in the group. I don't feel alone here. I'm currently dealing with those things due to some previous trauma and I'm unsure if medication is the answer for me, but I'm hopeful I can come to a treatment plan with my therapist. Ty for the well wishes! I wish you the same peace I hope to find for myself.",0.9748,positive,sympathizing
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,listener_1,6,"I hope you  will get better just with therapy! It might be not the easiest path, but if it works for you, then it is great!  Tailoring medications and making sure you are always on time with them is not that fun, but my brain chemistry is messed up more than everything.",0.6970000000000001,positive,consoling
965,MentalHealthSupport,The Road to Stability,speaker,7,"That's my hope as well, but if we determine therapy by itself isn't enough I'm open to looking at other options.  My partner is also on different medications, so I know I'll have that support! It's good to hear you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.",0.9381,positive,trusting
966,MentalHealthSupport,Posted in r/adultselfharm but figure it fits in here better?,speaker,1,"I feel I post negativity far too often, but am at a breaking point. I cut a little under a dozen times Monday night, once or twice Sunday and sobbed myself to sleep Monday night. I'm so unbearably stressed out and depressed and somewhat suicidal. My mother is sick and because she has medicare nobody will take her seriously, she NEEDS admitted to the hospital because she isn't getting better, hasnt eaten in 5 days and counting, hardly drinking and can't even walk hardly. I am her healthcare POA but idk if that shit expires and am afraid if I tried to advocate for her they'd tell me to fuck off.   Ive taken off work the past 2 days, total using 4 of 7 sick days because even if I could submit for a vacation day, my boss refuses to approve it. Its fucking January still. I have THREE days left. I'm terrified of getting fired and I don't think mom's dr will do FMLA as this isn't an ""ongoing issue"".  So of course, I need to go into work today. I slept like 4 or 5 hours, up every 30min to an hour and am sitting here SOBBING writing this and I have to get up at 6, go into work and pretend everything is ok. I CANT DO IT. I want to no longer exist because my mom isn't fighting like she usually does when she gets ill its been a week and a half and she's no better and I can't do enough because I'm the breadwinner as she is on SSD and if I lost my job, we would be fucked.   I can't handle this stress. I've also quit taking my meds for god knows how long because Im an idiot who forgets and plain old doesn't care anymore and doesn't take care of themselves.  Also, her and I are the ONLY family we have. Everyone else is either addicts, psychos, live far af away or dead. It's just the two of us and I cant keep bearing all the weight of every situation like this. Also, my drinking problem is getting SO MUCH WORSE as this goes on.   Im useless, I should be dead. I wish I'd never been born.",-0.9989,negative,sad
966,MentalHealthSupport,Posted in r/adultselfharm but figure it fits in here better?,listener_1,2,"So sorry that your going through this. Im not sure if this will help to hear any of what I'm going to say but Last February I found out that my Grandma had stage 4 ovarian cancer and had a complete breakdown, I don't self harm often but I did then. My Grandma is still with us but refuses to move in with a family member and also refuses to move anywhere other than home, she doesn't want to see any of her grandchildren as she is too proud for us to see her in the state shes in and I've found that extremely difficult to cope with as she can barelytalk on the phone for a few minutes. A lot of her care has been taken over by my Mum, who is struggling to cope with it as shes also about to go through a divorce. I don't live closely so can't help or support her and I'm going through a lot with my health and she can't really be here for me as she obviouslyhas bigger priorities ( which I completelyunderstand ). It's all a big mess but my point is, I really feel for you and hope that you can find something positive to focus on. You aren't the only one who is going through something like this but you will come out of the other end eventually, no feeling is permanent whether it's good or bad. Try to stay strong x",0.616,positive,sentimental
966,MentalHealthSupport,Posted in r/adultselfharm but figure it fits in here better?,speaker,3,"Goodness, I am genuinely SO sorry youre going through this. I always try to look at it as someone else has it worse but my brain decides to shit itself and keep me feeling/thinking selfishly.  Thank you for sharing and I do truly hope you're situation becomes better. <3",0.8632,positive,sympathizing
966,MentalHealthSupport,Posted in r/adultselfharm but figure it fits in here better?,listener_1,4,"Please don't feel that your feeling or thinking selfishly, you aren't at all, you have to feel all of that to get through it, otherwise you wouldn't ever come out the other side.  I just feel that if more people shared their stories, it would make it easier for more people to reach out when they need, just like you did by posting.   Thank you, and same to you. We can get through these things <3",0.8818,positive,neutral
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_2,1,"I need help, I'm only 13 and I have no doctor, I was diagnosed with depression when I did have one, i feel fat so i go days without eating but i cant sleep without drinking water and all of the sudden all water tastes bad, i have a water filter, i have bottled water, it all tastes bad, i saw something that said it has something to do with mouth hygiene but I brush my teeth 3 times a day, what's wrong with me?",-0.9497,negative,afraid
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_3,2,"It may be wise to talk to a doctor about why you are experiencing these symptoms, but can I ask, how is the rest of your life going? What do you do for fun? Do you have friends & and social group? Whats your family life like? How would you describe yourself?",0.9419,positive,questioning
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_2,3,"First I cant go to the doctor because I dont have insurance and I got kicked out of there because the lady that was giving me shots wasnt doing it right and made me have a breakdown, my life is really sporadic right now, I dont remember most of my day, I paint and draw a lot, I have some friends but a lot of people hate me because of an ex, my family is huge but, idk they just seem, weird, and my family has a bloodline of insomnia and I have the worst insomnia in my family, I'd also describe myself as strange, I have mood swings for no reason, I used to cut a lot, and I cant remember the last day I haven't cried or accidentally hurt myself.",-0.9483,negative,sad
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_3,4,"Ok, you said a lot about you, your family, and social group. Thank you for sharing. sounds like you have a lot going on. Also, cool that you paint and draw! would love to see some of your work sometime if you want share a picture of it. let's not worry about what you cannot change, doctor, people at school and the ex, what can you change? What do you have power over? You have power over your choices and behaviors, you control them to a certain degree, some of them will be harder to control than others but it's possible. what do you feel is within your reach and could make a measurable difference in your life?",0.8918,positive,acknowledging
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_2,5,"Honestly right now I'd rather be shot dead, my head hurts more than touching red hot fire pokes.. but when you said you'd love to see my art that boosted my confidence, thank you..",0.9366,positive,grateful
966,MentalHealthSupport,What's wrong with me,listener_3,6,you have a gift. looking forward to seeing how you bring it into the world.,0.4404,positive,encouraging
967,MentalHealthSupport,Stigma against alternative care,speaker,1,"I have this trend of people trying to ""help"" me to the point that they actually inhibit me from taking care of myself in a way that I know has consistently worked over a long period of time.  I may be unconventional in the way I approach my own mental health.  I have decided to opt out of pharmaceuticals (mostly because I always have way more side affects then benefits)  This is a decision that I have been happy with. I've done a lot of scientific and historical research in order to find alternatives and when I was in more control over my own life I was doing really well physically and mentally.  Another thing is I use journaling and mindfulness techniques. This has by far been the best thing I've ever done for myself (none of this is to shame people who use Pharmaceuticals btw, I am just expressing what has helped me) Recently I went to college and there were a lot of people there whose sole understanding of alternative medicine came from Memes. It didn't matter if I showed how two substances were chemically the same, it didn't matter that I had peer reviewed research on my side, it didn't matter what my personal experience was or that I had thousands of years of historical data to back it up.  I was disrespected continuously for this method and some even actively sought out to make it more difficult for me to take care of myself.  On top of all that people used my religion to discredit any scientific data I had.  Since I've met these people and haven't been able to properly care for myself my mental health has declined rapidly. I cry just thinking about where I was 2 years ago.   So this is honestly kind of a PSA. I'm not here to pill shame people and I understand that some people do that. But I don't think that me using a different method for my own health invalidates anyone else's. I just want to be able to exist and take care of myself in the way that has consistently worked for me. It was the mere fact that I didn't take pharmaceuticals that caused people to see me in this particular way. Suddenly I was labeled as an anti vax, anti science(hah), anti doctor. All because I found a method that worked for me that does not fit the conventional model.        If anyone is curious about the different methods that have helped me I have hundreds of research papers I can send you :)",0.8404,positive,faithful
967,MentalHealthSupport,Stigma against alternative care,listener_1,2,"Hello. I would be interested in reading some of the articles relating to anxiety/ stress management and sleep. I’ve recently decided to fallow a different path to get mentally healthy. Most mood stabilizers or anti depressants give me awful side effects. And I have tried a toooooon. So I decided that if I can get better rest and deal with anxiety/stress better then my mood might improve, making the low days much more manageable. I still plan to use medications for sleep/stress but wherever I can find an alternate, I would like try. At this point I haven’t much to lose. Thank you in advance.",0.5023,positive,hopeful
967,MentalHealthSupport,Stigma against alternative care,speaker,3,"I'll go through them for you!  If you're interested I have found that ayurvedic medicine is really good for stuff like that. Its an ancient medical system from India that includes diet, exercise, yoga, and herbs. Its honestly the best thing I ever did for my anxiety. I know meditation can be really helpful but sometimes if you have mental illness due to trauma or if you've been diagnosed with PTSD it can cause you to dissociate.",0.2582,positive,trusting
967,MentalHealthSupport,Stigma against alternative care,listener_1,4,That’s really rad. Thank you. I’ll look that up after work. I appreciate the response!!!,0.7472,positive,acknowledging
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",speaker,1,"I feel like I have a plethora of mental health issues but this is one of the worst.   I’ve recently started becoming hyper aware of all the things I consume. Things like food, water, clothes, electricity, personal belongings such as makeup. Whether it’s necessary for me to survive or not, I start to feel so horrible. To only exist, I’ve contributed to a lot of waste and non eco friendly things (before I decided to start switching over) to the earth. I also become overcome with guilt for consuming some animal products in food.   I feel like I don’t deserve any of this, there are much better people than me who deserve things like this. Why do innocent people in the world have to starve and go through severe hardship but a piece of shit like me gets all these privileges? I deserve to suffer and be hurt. I’m traumatised from people who have hurt me and made me suffer but there are times like this where I crave it and want to be hurt because I’m useless and deserve it.   I’m so tired of hating myself. It’s been a long, hard battle and sometimes I disgust myself with how low my self esteem can get. I think this is one of my worst lows.",-0.997,negative,ashamed
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",listener_1,2,"You're here, and just as deserving of these things as anyone else. You're not worthless, and you deserve help. You deserve to have a good meal and clean clothes, to have a bed and a roof. We all do.  Do you have anyone you can talk to? Family or friends?",0.9211,positive,questioning
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",speaker,3,"Thank you, I really appreciate it. I have a lovely bf and he’s aware of how I feel",0.8516,positive,grateful
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",speaker,4,This is a very well written comment and you’ve made me really look at my perspective on things. I appreciate it so so much you took the time to write this. Thank you,0.7887,positive,grateful
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",speaker,5,"Thank you so much, I’m definitely checking that site out it looks like an amazing resource",0.8948,positive,agreeing
968,MentalHealthSupport,"Every time I think more about how I use resources (food, water, personal belongings) I feel extremely guilty because I feel so worthless I can’t justify deserving it.",listener_2,6,You’re very welcome! I hope it helps. :) <3,0.9071,positive,encouraging
969,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me,speaker,1,"Hey I have some trouble in the last time. Not to go too far but not only have I huge pressure from achieving goals but now the women of my Life walked back to me. And I know that Sounds cool and all, but my head is tripping rn. I was a pretty cold personality in the past but now I feel just anxiety and shit. And now Im drinking pretty heavily and taking prescriptions. I mean wtf, Im a university student i should enjoy my fucking life, or not? Any advice for how to deal with these new feelings. Im getting from time to time pretty dark things in my head and keep having nightmares.",0.8074,positive,anxious
969,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me,listener_1,2,"Find a good councilor, get neurofeedback, get cbt and dbt classes , try EMDR. If you have questions about these send me a message.",0.4404,positive,questioning
969,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me,speaker,3,Forgot to mention but im already in therapy but thanks,0.5927,positive,neutral
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,1,"I was walking home from work after a fairly tense shift.  When I finished work I planned to treat myself to a little something from my favourite stationary shop but when I went in I couldn't choose so I didn't buy anything. I left the shop and could see two tall men wearing black approaching people so I tried to avoid them.  As I tried to go around, one of them approached and stood right in front of me, blocking my way and as I said 'Please leave me alone' he says their selling wrist bands to raise awareness for mental health, i stepped around him and he responded to my asking him to leave me alone by raising his voice and saying 'No, i won't ' i then continue to walk and he then shouts 'How dare you!'.  I then stop in my tracks and he shouts again 'That's right, how dare you!'  At this point, for one, normally when I walk away from a total stranger on the street handing things out, asking them to please me alone would be enough, i have never felt so violated on the high street as i did at this point, so i did something that i literally never do and i turned back around.   I said to him 'considering your chasing someone with bad anxiety up the high street, its pretty hypocritical when your supposed to be raising awareness for mental health'  I was and still am absolutely fuming, he then offered me one of the wristband but I said no and continued on my way, shaking like a leaf and almost in tears.  I was supposed to have a chilled self care afternoon off and I feel so tense I can't relax.  Was I right to react in that way? I never do that but part of me feels so angry and upset and the other part of me feels pretty proud of myself for actually saying something.  Now I'm sat here sobbing with greys anatomy on the tv and typing this.",-0.9906,negative,apprehensive
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,listener_1,2,"No, you were right to say that - and maybe you taught him something and he won't do it again.",0.0,neutral,suggesting
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,3,"Thank you, I really hope so.",0.6901,positive,encouraging
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,4,"Still pretty angry, and really frustrated",-0.5849,negative,furious
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,listener_2,5,I don't blame you . Maybe try reporting them to their charity?,0.5908,positive,suggesting
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,6,"Thank you, it definitely wasn't easy.  It was all pretty weird, not gonna lie, they weren't wearing any charity logos or anything like that, and surely if they had been working for a mental health charity, that's the polar opposite of how you would speak to people. It's not like we all have physical symptoms, and we shouldn't have to wear clothes that say 'I suffer from....' in order for someone to treat you like a human being.",0.8674,positive,agreeing
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,7,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,8,"I will if I can find out what the charity was, I'm gonna ask the shops in that area of town tomorrow.",0.4215,positive,hopeful
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,listener_2,9,I wish you luck on your quest friend :),0.8979,positive,wishing
970,MentalHealthSupport,Had a bit of an Incident on the way home today,speaker,10,"Thank you, I've reported the police this evening.",0.3612,positive,grateful
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,1,"I'm in Switzerland, what can I do? She doesn't reply anymore. Doesn't pick up her phone.",0.0,neutral,devastated
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_1,2,"If you think she’s serious, absolutely call the police",-0.0772,negative,agreeing
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,3,"She's given me a date, when she'll do it.",0.0,neutral,trusting
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_1,4,Is she talking with you again?,0.0,neutral,questioning
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,5,Yes,0.4019,positive,agreeing
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_1,6,That’s a start.  Do everything you can to keep her safe.,0.4404,positive,agreeing
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,7,I dont think that would help her,0.4019,positive,apprehensive
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,8,How would it not?,0.0,neutral,questioning
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,9,"She cant afford treatment, so i'd make her go bankrupt. And she'd hate me",-0.8074,negative,afraid
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,10,Also just read your post that she's not answering her phone.  Call the police NOW,0.0,neutral,angry
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,11,"I think the possibility of someone hating me would be worth ensuring they're safe. This is not something I would trust myself to keep someone from going through with it. If she's telling you she's going to do it, that is a cry for help.  At the very least have her call a suicide prevention hotline. They can help her come up with ideas for treatments she can afford.",0.4019,positive,trusting
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,12,"I think the possibility of someone hating me would be worth ensuring they're safe. This is not something I would trust myself to keep someone from going through with it. If she's telling you she's going to do it, that is a cry for help.  At the very least have her call a suicide prevention hotline. They can help her come up with ideas for treatments she can afford.",0.4019,positive,trusting
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,13,Also doesn't Switzerland have universal healthcare? How would see how bankrupt?,-0.6072,negative,questioning
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,14,She's from germany but lives here. So it wouldnt pay.,0.2119,positive,neutral
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,15,Shes on the phone with me right now.,0.0,neutral,lonely
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,16,"That's good, but seriously consider getting her help whether she thinks she can afford it or not. It's not worth her life.",0.6357,positive,suggesting
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,17,"And she doesnt want to, i've told her this, i said I would go with her, but she doesnt want to. She says it's her time to go.",-0.1139,negative,disappointed
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,18,"That doesn't sound like rational thinking. Call the police anyway. I'm serious. With Switzerland's healthcare, the cost for a foreigner can't be terribly high.  What can you do to prevent her from doing it? She could do it at any time, you can't watch her 24/7. Call the police.",0.1566,positive,annoyed
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,speaker,19,She's told me the exact date.,0.0,neutral,agreeing
971,MentalHealthSupport,Help! My girlfriend says she wants to kill herself and i don't know what to do.,listener_2,20,"Okay? So tell the police that's what she said, so she's serious.  Do it even if she hates you. What's the point of her not hating you if she's no longer there?  I don't know what else to tell you. That's all the advice I got. Good luck, and I hope she makes it.",0.7955,positive,questioning
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,speaker,1,"How many people here have been cheated on or had their spouse abruptly leave them for another person?   I personally think it’s the worst thing someone can do in a relationship and it a very very scary feeling especially if it’s happened more than once (for me personally, it’s happened more than once) it causes major trust issues and it’s hard to get close to people again...... without the fear that you’ll be hurt again....    It’s always the people you would never in a million years, expect it from. The ones who you thought won’t do you that way, WILL do you that way.    Just wanna know how many people this has happened to and if you kinda feel the same way about feeling scared to trust/get close to people again",-0.8836,negative,terrified
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,listener_1,2,"Happened to me by the same person 3 times. Besides him everyone else in my inner circle seems to be a good outstanding friend/family member. I will never doubt these people unless they give me a reason to  As far as meeting new people...it’s the last step of getting over this train wreck of a relationship and move on with my life. If I continue to let the one bad apple ruin my judgment of other people and make me fear being trusting of others than at the end of day, HE WON. And I will not let him affect my life ever again. It hurts and all that raw anger is towards one person that had done me wrong (from the one person who was supposed to love me the most) so no I will not let whatever he did affect my judgement in the future  Although, I won’t fear trusting people. I can be more cautious of the signs that I refused to acknowledged in him when we first met. Signs that told me to stay away and that however love I put into “changing” him will never go the way that I want.   TLDR: do not fear meeting and trusting new people but beware of signs of a non trustworthy person based on what you have been through. Do not ignore your gut feeling. My wishes are with you, hoping you do not let one bad person ruin your chances at many connections down the line ❤️",0.9303,positive,trusting
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,speaker,3,"Oh yes, I definitely agree. Besides him, everyone else has been very solid and trust worthy people.   And I have no problem meeting new people and such... and I’m not saying I’m gonna immediately have trust issues with everyone. But more so, in the dating life.   This generation of relationships are so messed up... everywhere I turn, a guy has cheated on my aunt, friend, cousin, coworker, sister, etc. and it’s just sick. That’s mainly what I fear. Trusting someone only to have them break my trust.   It’s very hard to move on and date again. That’s something he had no problem doing. It feels so cold of him. I’ve never been a person that could just up and leave someone for someone else, or move onto someone else, let alone cheat!   He just so happened to cheat on me with a girl he worked with... and it’s the exact girl that I had suspicions about for MONTHS and he tried to manipulate me into believing I was a paranoid girlfriend... only to ultimately cheat on me with her, and leave me for her.   People are so sick.   And just like you said, I will be more cautious of the signs that I refused to acknowledge in him.   I will NEVER be treated like this again, nor will I let someone do me so wrong like this again.   Thank you so much ❤️🙌🏼 And also, I’m very sorry for this happening to you as well.",-0.9771,negative,agreeing
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,speaker,4,"Thank you so much for speaking out about what you’re going through, and letting me know I’m not the only one. ❤️  And I’m so so sorry this is happening to you as well.    it’s so hard to heal from a hurt so cruel...   And that’s truly what I think, we were together for a solid 3 years and I feel as if he just wasn’t ready for a real relationship... I feel like he just wanted to run around and have more “experience” and no ties.   I want someone who is in it for the long run <3 someone I don’t have to worry about leaving me for something “better” I want someone to value me as if I am the best, in their eyes. Cause that’s how I treat everyone I’m with.   Thank you so much, and I’m sending you love & good vibes as well ❤️💜",0.9661,positive,sympathizing
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,listener_1,5,"Your words couldn’t be more true. I sure hope that there are far more decent and trustworthy people left in the world.   I also think that we’re seeing the world with red (angry) colored glasses because of how fresh our pain is. For me it’s been only a few days...and with time I hope, I pray to god that our perspective of the world will be different.   We will eventually begin to trust again despite all the horrible things that has happened. It’s far too soon for me but when I’m ready, I can’t wait to see what’s out there. Life is really too short to be scared of getting hurt. And idk about you but I feel like I’ve uncovered the worse of the worse (3 times already!) and I’m sure it can only get better from here on out. I’m so sorry we both have to go through all this pain but I want to be positive so that we both come out the other side, stronger than ever and perhaps later will find someone that compliments us in ways that those who betrayed us will never be able to do in a billion years time.   Sending you virtual hugs and kisses, hoping you feel a tad better today. ❤️❤️❤️",0.967,positive,trusting
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,speaker,6,"Yes, for sure. I truly hope there will be people (like friends) or a person (spouse) who comes along and shows me what it feels like to be treated right.  And yes, far too soon for me as well. But I’m feeling very optimistic like you. I feel like this was a transformation that I very much needed in my life. As my mom put it “there can be no good without bad”   I feel like without being aware of what bad is in the world, we can’t appreciate the good. And for our experiences personally, had we not gone through this, we might’ve been blind to the signs and it couldn’t saved us from a much larger pain.   Thank you so much again ❤️❤️ hugs & kisses ❤️❤️",0.986,positive,hopeful
972,MentalHealthSupport,Just want to not feel so alone in this,speaker,7,"I understand. I’m so sorry you had to go through it. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️ And that is true! Trust is earned. I will never willingly hand my trust and blind faith over to another human again. They gotta earn it, and they gotta earn the right for me to open up to them.  One of my biggest flaws/weaknesses is that I trust too quickly, have blind faith, and open up to people way too soon. Expecting it to be a form of bonding and hoping they’ll do the same in return. But I can tell you right now, even though I spent 3 whole years with my ex, I swear I never actually knew him. He never opened up to me once, he never told me how he felt so I could never even read him or tell what he was thinking, and he never genuinely wanted to spend time with me. I mean after a whole day of not seeing me, I was the last thing on his mind. All he wanted to do was come home and play games until it was time for us to go to sleep.   I am here by swearing to never again... settle for someone who puts in that little effort.   My time, my love, and my trust will be earned!  If someone does not reciprocate, I can’t allow myself to get hurt again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you. This is a lesson I’ll keep with me for the rest of my life.",0.2456,positive,agreeing
973,MentalHealthSupport,A bit of a confession and a bit of asking for how to get better,speaker,1,I tried killing myself twice before and I feel really sad and empty and guilty whenever I think about it again... how should I move on from this,-0.9128,negative,sad
973,MentalHealthSupport,A bit of a confession and a bit of asking for how to get better,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
973,MentalHealthSupport,A bit of a confession and a bit of asking for how to get better,speaker,3,Thank you bot I appreciate you and whoever made you,0.6369,positive,grateful
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,1,"Hello Everyone,  I really hope this won't be my final post to redd.it - as suicidal as that sounds, I really don't want to loose hope and get to that point.  I am so unbelievably tired of no one knowing what to do with me, to bring you up to speed - I'm a female in my early 20's suffering from extremly visceral attacks with sounds and images of the disturbing kind, they happen sporadically and are as far as I can tell unpredictable . If you need any more detail (I suggest you to look at the comments also) you can find it here:  https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthSupport/comments/eqt370/another_cry_for_help/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share  The newest update is that I am now finally getting an appointment with a Neurologist, hoping they find something physically wrong with my brain, so it can either be operated out or treated with pills.  That might be morbid , I'm unsure - but in the end if I cannot find out what's wrong with me then I won't guarantee for how this story ends. Nothing in my lifes ever made me feel so unclean and wrong and invaded my mind as permanently as this.  I know that I do not want to live with expiriences like this, this is a battle I will loose in the long run - and I know it.",-0.9651,negative,afraid
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_1,2,I hope they find what’s going on!!,0.5399,positive,hopeful
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,3,Me too buddy,0.0,neutral,agreeing
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,4,About 10 months - 5 in total spread across unevenly,0.0,neutral,neutral
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,5,Update: I literally had one 2 hours ago.,0.0,neutral,surprised
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,6,And you’re sure they’re not getting closer together,0.3182,positive,faithful
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,7,They seem to be - last two were apart 3 months,0.0,neutral,surprised
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,8,"And you said you’re body began twitching, how so? Was this extreme and were you aware at the time. Also if you are around people when this happens do they ever notice, and if they do what do they observe",0.0,neutral,questioning
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,9,"I'm always alone- it happens exclusively at night - though my fianceé is on the phone, my limbs twitch strongly but they don't lock up - I am aware it's happening.",0.0129,neutral,lonely
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,10,So this is just before you fall asleep/ are in bed,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,11,Usually around an hour/ 2 until I fall asleep,0.0,neutral,content
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,12,"Sorry for all the questions but, did you say u knew when they’re about to come on. Do you have a sense of anxiety or does it just happen spontaneously",-0.29600000000000004,negative,questioning
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,13,"I usually have a sense of paranoia,  then a headache - then the walls look like they're moving and then when my heart rate picks up I know its comming.",0.6908,positive,afraid
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,14,"One last question, is there any common event/ experience that happens in the day before the attack. This could just be that you’re in a bad mood because of something or you get reminded of a past bad experience",-0.8779,negative,questioning
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,15,"So far I haven't been able to make any of those connections - my life is pretty chill at the moment,  no changes in diet or anything like that. The only thing I can add is that the day before the last attack I was very easily irritable and tense/anxious.",-0.0735,negative,content
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,16,"Well the hallucinations you describe, as you probably know by now are not consistent with those that one experienced as a schizophrenic and although many would suggest ptsd you mentioned the violence you witness and the people have no relevance to past abuse. However it could still be a possibility if the abuse you suffered did occur at night becoming a possible trigger. If that doesn’t fit I have another theory but I am not a professional so take my advice as a mere suggestion",-0.7992,negative,suggesting
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,17,"Of course - I'm really just looking for suggestions/shared  experiences to know what to bring up to the professionals I am currently talking with - you have my curiosity , what other theory?",0.0,neutral,questioning
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,18,"It is a bit of a stretch but I read many articles whilst studying for my degree at university about women who experience misdiagnosis for psychiatric disorders. I’m not saying this is not the case, however have you ever considered the possibility that you’re having a seizure. Hear me out on this one, the symptoms for seizures in women are much more subtle and so are often misdiagnosed.",0.0,neutral,apprehensive
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,listener_2,19,You see the problem I find with my theory is that most seizures don’t last more that 1 minute. But if somehow it causes this sort of psychosis then it could be possible,-0.2144,negative,suggesting
974,MentalHealthSupport,I can't keep this up for long,speaker,20,"It's all very intense - and it does vary in length- but it's always longer then a minute. It's an interesting thought,  I will do more research into it",0.5922,positive,neutral
975,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do,speaker,1,"I need help. I'm a shitty person who treats his friends like shit and I have anger management issues. This isn't as bad as some of the other stuff I've seen on this thread, but no matter how hard I try I am just always a dick. I'm usually very controlling and pissed off by little things and I want to stop being an ass. I don't know how to go about this situation. I don't want to see a therapist or something nor a school counselor or something. I need help. I'm a very shitty person. I don't like myself.",-0.979,negative,afraid
975,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do,listener_1,2,"I have felt like this before, I've had comments told to me asking why im such a dick or why im so self centered. I by no means know your whole situation but can empathize with what you may be going through. meditation has worked wonders for me, it takes a while to really center yourself and you need to want to figure everything out, but once you do, its hard to explain, but you start to think of everything from your past in a different light, it almost can become an awakening. If you have any questions on my journey please reach out. I hope this helps.",0.8689,positive,agreeing
975,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do,speaker,3,"Yeah, I asked my friend group chat on discord to tell me to stop being a dick whenever I get mad or irrational. I'm trying to better myself. I dont want to hurt anyone or lose any more friends than I already have.",-0.3078,negative,guilty
975,MentalHealthSupport,I don't know what to do,speaker,4,"Cause, I dont want to have to pay. Plus I dont want my family knowing about it.",-0.2129,negative,afraid
976,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling Son,speaker,1,"My college freshman son is struggling with his mental health. He is not eating, exercising, self medicating with weed, and prefers not to leave his dorm. In high school, he had self esteem issues but  had all his friends that he grew up with, a safe space. College has been very tough on him and he is struggling with even basic tasks and is very unhappy. He only went back second semester because he said he would be just as unhappy at home. Communication with him is extremely limited, it is just impossible for him to open up.  He did see a therapist twice and concluded the guy was no help and is not interested at this time in talking to anyone else.  I was considering sending him the following message, some of it is for my own mental health to make sure I tell him these things.    With this background, should I send it? If so, any recommendations on the content?            \[Son’s Name\]  The last couple of times I have seen you, there have been things that were important for me to tell you that I was not able to. Most importantly, I love you more than you will ever know. Since you were born up until right now, there is no person in this world I would rather spend time with. We are so proud that you are our son and there is nothing about you or that you could ever do that will ever change how we feel about you – NOTHING.  I know that you feel that we haven’t taken what you are going through seriously, I wish I could assure you that is not the case.  I apologize if we have been late in seeing this was not a passing phase, but we see the pain that you are in - we can very much see that it is real.  We get to see small glimpses of your life when you are here and we try to understand what you tell us, but we struggle to understand how we can best support you.  We have been in contact with dozens of therapists trying to find someone that is available and that you might be interested in working with and rack our brains about what we can do to help. We believe you.  Lastly, I know it is hard for you to share what is happening with me, but I want you to know that any time that you want to talk, 3 AM, 5 AM, 8 PM whenever, I am ready to listen. I promise not to judge whatever you tell me.     I can see that you are still fighting for the life you want despite what is happening and I hope you continue to battle. I know you are going to figure out the path through this that works for you and we will be here if you need us - always.  Dad",0.9815,positive,trusting
976,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling Son,listener_1,2,"My dad sent me (20F) something similar in the middle of last semester. It made me good cry and I felt loved and like I could slay any dragon (as he likes to say). Leaving yourself open for communication is a big thing and letting them know they have your support is another. If I received this text, I would cry all over again (happily) and know that I could win this battle.",0.9186,positive,trusting
976,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling Son,listener_2,3," I am the OP, forgot password on the original throwaway      Thanks for responding.  The hardest part is that there is little communication at this point. Everything is a one word answer and trying to carefully picks our words not to trigger him. It is so hard to tell if he can't explain himself, is pissed at me, or has just given up on life. We were/are so ill-equipped for handling this.    ​  As far as the weed, I would prefer my kids don't use weed but I don't have a big issue with it. The problem is that under the stress he is experiencing, he needs it regularly to escape.  My heart breaks reading through the depression related subs.  I wish all those folks peace.",0.5671,positive,anxious
976,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling Son,listener_3,4,p.s. i hope that helps! :),0.8313,positive,encouraging
976,MentalHealthSupport,Struggling Son,listener_2,5,"I am the OP, forgot password on the original throwaway     Thanks for replying.  At the moment, he is not ready to get help and getting help on campus is an absolute no go.  It is so hard to negotiate suggesting and encouraging courses of action without triggering a negative response. There is no amount of money I would not pay to have him request help.",0.9121,positive,annoyed
977,MentalHealthSupport,I haven't cried in over 2 years,speaker,1,"The last time I cried was when I broke down after my parents  divorce, and ever since them I have basically been emotionless. I don't  cry or feel very much sadness, the closest thing I can mange to come close to is laughing, much I do a lot. When I am alone I feel lonely but don'the want to be near anyone. I hated my emotions so and I lost themy, now I want them back, and am very afraid I lost them for good",-0.9133,negative,sad
977,MentalHealthSupport,I haven't cried in over 2 years,listener_1,2,It will take time to get them back honestly. Did you shove them down or numb them with drugs / other addictions?,0.1531,positive,questioning
977,MentalHealthSupport,I haven't cried in over 2 years,speaker,3,"I abused sleeping mess for a long time, but no hard drugs.",-0.3519,negative,guilty
978,MentalHealthSupport,I hate having kids and there’s no way out.,speaker,1,"To be clear I do love my kids and I don’t want anything bad to happen to them but I hate every single aspect of being a parent. If I could pack my shit and leave I would, but I can’t afford child support. I can’t kill myself either because then I’m an even bigger piece of shit parent. I just fucking hate everyday.   I don’t think it’s cute that they cry all night.   I don’t think it’s cute that my daughter shits all over the house. Literally. She had shit in 6 different outfits. She refuses to use he toilet.  I don’t enjoy cooking 10 meals a day and cleaning the house top to bottom 3 times a day.   I don’t enjoy not having a job but not being able to afford child care.  I don’t think it’s cute when I walk in and find my kids have destroyed something of mine, colored on the walls or ingested something disgusting.   I don’t enjoy having to do a ritual to get my kids to go to sleep.   I don’t enjoy waking up at the asscrack of dawn to screaming.  I don’t enjoy being stuck in the house because they are impossible to take anywhere.   I don’t enjoy the constant meltdowns.   I don’t like my fat disgusting body.   My marriage is crap too.  I just feel like I should have stayed child free but I didn’t and now I’ve successfully fucked my entire life. I think if I just left now they would be better off.",-0.7040000000000001,negative,sad
978,MentalHealthSupport,I hate having kids and there’s no way out.,listener_1,2,"It sounds like you don't have much of a support network. What have you tried to get some?  The book that made the most difference with us was Gregory Bodenhamer's ""Back in Control"".  https://www.amazon.com/dp/067176165X/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_GqZoEbXM0MKHY  It's very tough, and takes time, but it worked for us. 3 of my 4 kids are adults with jobs, and we see each of them several times a week. One of them has children now, and is getting to use the strategies for themselves.",0.2967,positive,questioning
978,MentalHealthSupport,I hate having kids and there’s no way out.,listener_2,3,"I 100% agree, especially with the leaving part. My mom left because she was more interested in partying and doing drugs while my dad took full custody of me. If I'm being honest, from a person who watched their parent destroy their lives, including mine and my other 3 siblings (they were taken away/given up for adoption), it was the best damn thing she ever did. She thinks she is a shit parent sometimes. Well, she was tbh but I digress, it really gave us kids a better life. I think, if you want to leave and you feel it's the right thing to do then it's really ok! Some people just aren't meant to be a parent.   However I also agree, try therapy first. Both marriage and for yourself. It's hard af but I believe everyone needs therapy, at least once in their life. Maybe even for the kids too if its necessary. You may think they dont pay attention but, they are. They can see your emotions too sometimes.   I believe you'll make the best decisions for YOU, no matter what.",0.9562,positive,agreeing
979,MentalHealthSupport,"What Is The Story Behind Your PTSD, AD (Anxiety Disorder), Depression etc?",speaker,1,"Those who suffer from a mental disorder (I really don't like using that word it makes me feel totally abnormal) have all had a story behind it, whether is be the physical bullying, abuse, narcissism, alcoholism, drug abuse (etc.) exposed to them when they were younger or even now. I'd love to read your stories and give you a comfortable space to let your emotions out without any judgment from my side.",-0.9286,negative,caring
979,MentalHealthSupport,"What Is The Story Behind Your PTSD, AD (Anxiety Disorder), Depression etc?",listener_1,2,I was in an emotionally abusive relationship as a teenager. After we broke up I made the mistake of hanging around (mostly because he threatened suicide). He sexually assaulted me on multiple occasions by using my vulnerability against me. It’s incredibly hard to say no when someone is telling you they’ll stop talking to you or even hurt themselves if you don’t do what they want (and even when I did say no it didn’t help). I didn’t realize how bad it was until we cut all ties and realized what emotional abuse and sexual coercion is...it’s something I’ve never worked through as it’s really hard to talk about.,-0.9897,negative,terrified
979,MentalHealthSupport,"What Is The Story Behind Your PTSD, AD (Anxiety Disorder), Depression etc?",speaker,3,"Talking about it is one of the first things to recovery and I believe by mentioning it to someone it takes some of the weight off.  But this is just the beginning of becoming someone great. You will work through this. Hey, and I have to mention how proud I am of you for sharing your story.",0.9382,positive,proud
980,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy Ending!,speaker,1,"I have seen my psychologist for about 2 years and a bit. Before that I had a emotional,verbal abusive student therapist before hand. To give you an idea they would say things such as ""Your mother shouldn't of had kids"" to ""You are not doing the work"" I was told a week before I knew that therapy was ending. Not even my oppcational therapist knew. I also had increased of unhelpful thoughts and unhelpful behavior. It take a whole year for my current psychologist to undo the damage what that student therapist did. Never in my life, cause I have seen a few therapist before, experience a therapist like that. I would say it be ""therapist of nightmares"". Anyway Therapy ending in March. I was told about this mid last year. I have been freaking out ever since then. The closer it gets my anxiety has gone through the roof. I struggled to even go to a art class because I was afarid the art teacher will be mean. Because of what these other people from a art store told me about that art teacher. I literally broke down and cried and couldn't go into the class room when my partner drove me there. I did spoke to my therapist about this the day before and use the Dailet behaviour therapy skills but it didnt work for me. I experience OCD so...that has got more worse, since my therapist prayed with me a month ago and they told me afterwards how it went over practice of therapy. But they felt I was more important than that. The problem is with that I experience religious OCD so... it really pushed that. So now I get afarid of certain people in my life putting curses on me so I pray to God for protection or listen to Latin pray chants from YouTube driving to the place who I'm gonna visit that person. I struggle to sleep and get nightmares. Rescently I have notice I'm very sensitive to rejection to the point I will cry, even if it's something my family would say to me.  Can someone tell me what's going on? I feel confused,afraid, scared. I fear it's going to get worse.",-0.9826,negative,angry
980,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy Ending!,listener_1,2,"it sounds like you're going through a lot right now, while I don't think I could give any helpful advice I just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon.   For the past year or so my mental state has been going downhill, I've been really easy to upset and erratic. near the end of 2019, I started self-medicating with CBD oil. The CBD doesn't stop all my negative behavior but it has helped a lot. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about trying it out?",0.5871,positive,suggesting
980,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy Ending!,speaker,3," Thank you. I really appreciate you reading my message.  Yeah same too. For you too to feel better soon.  It is hard, it feels like you go up getting better and then going down hill. It can be exhausting.   CBD oil? What's that exactly?",0.9091,positive,questioning
980,MentalHealthSupport,Therapy Ending!,listener_1,4,"youre welcome :3 I wish I could just feel better and stay that way.  CBD oil comes from Hemp. small doses are also present in marijuana but CBD does not get you high. CBD oil is used for alot of things, a friend of mine uses it to help with chronic pain but a lot of people also use it to help ease anxiety.   I just realized we may not live in the same country but if you live in the USA you can get it over the counter. you can get the oil straight but they also have things like CBD candies and drinks.",0.9623,positive,grateful
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,1,"I have a 19 year old college freshman that is struggling with his mental health. I am going to see him tomorrow(hopefully) and could use some guidance on how best to approach the conversation. He had some self-esteem issues through high school, but had plenty of friends through sports. His senior year was not easy with him pushing back against us, but we hoped it was just soiling the nest as they say as he got ready to leave for college. The fall semester of college was tough with little communication from him and him not wanting us to come up for parents weekend. When he came home between semesters, he was not in good shaped mentally. He told us at that time that he almost never left his dorm room even though there were plenty of people asking him to do things. We got him to see a therapist twice, but he said the guy was useless. He was also heavily using weed over the break. We gave him the option of whether he wanted to go back or not, which making that decision almost completely broke him. He said he would be unhappy at home as well as school so he might as well just go back and not be a loser. We don't know a lot about what is happening right now, but from what we do know things appear to have gotten worse here in the second semester. He called both me and his mother separately last week to say he does not think he can stay there all semester. We said we would come up that day and he said wait till Sunday. As we were getting ready to leave today, he texted to that today would not work because he was too busy. We did push that he see us tomorrow and will be driving out there. The year has taken a toll on both me and my wife's mental health as a minute does not pass during the day that we don't think of him, so I am trying to make sure I am in the right frame of mind for the discussion. To date, we have taken a very passive approach, trying to let him know we are there, but letting him make all the decisions. Seeing how devastating making a decision or handling any kind of stress right now is for him, I don't know if I should have been more aggressive. We really just don't know/understand what is happening or what we should be doing. Any thoughts are appreciated.",-0.7282,negative,trusting
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,listener_1,2,"Firstly, thank you for being such a caring parent!  I don't know how to make this go better, but I was thinking,  is it possible that he needs you to make the decisions right now? He may be too tired and anxious to think about them.",-0.4295,negative,caring
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,3,"Hi rstynl2  Thanks for replying.  That is what is weighting on my mind. We are trying to empower him and had actually hoped he did not go back this semester and wanted to work on his health, it is hard to explain how the decision was for him, he was a mess.  Everything I read says to just be supportive and let people find their own path, it is just so painful to watch.",0.0152,neutral,devastated
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,4,"unfortunately, he won't go back now. Once you turn 18, it makes this situation so much more difficult as he has to take almost all the actions with school. I realize there is good reason for that, but when someone is really struggling it makes for a difficult situation.",-0.8469,negative,neutral
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,listener_1,5,"Ask him. He may be so tired that he will tell you to make it for him. I hope he feels better soon. And you too. As a parent, I know how it crushes you to see your child hurting.",-0.5486,negative,agreeing
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,listener_2,6,"They'll act. You can contact counseling, public safety, the dean of students, housing, his RA, or first year experience. There are safety nets in place because unfortunately, this situation is common.",0.4939,positive,prepared
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,7,"Unfortunately, where he goes, unless we declare it a crisis where he is physically going to hurt himself or someone else, he needs to initiate any help.  I am not sure that would help with our bigger challenge of getting him to request/accept assistance.",-0.7321,negative,apprehensive
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,8,"Thanks rstynl2, it is crazy but I had not thought to do that.",0.0644,positive,neutral
981,MentalHealthSupport,19 year old college freshman son,speaker,9,"Ivory  I really appreciate you responding and your perspective.  When you get older it is really hard to understand what is going on in a teenager's mind and what is actually happening.  He is not communicating much so it making us a little manic. Is he pissed or does he feel like he is letting us down? Are we being too lenient for his own good? What are we missing?  We drove 4 hours last night to eat with him for 45 minutes, it was the best 45 minutes I have had in a few months. We did not bring up any touchy subjects and just tried to enjoy time with him. He had his hood over his head and spoke in hushed tones the whole time like he did not want to be seen, but he talked a little and it was good to see him eat.  Congratulations on your success so far in overcoming this and I hope you become the person you want to become.",0.9801,positive,grateful
982,MentalHealthSupport,The Parts No one tells you,speaker,1,"The parts no one tells you  The thing with depression,  is the parts no one tells you about. They tell you you’ll have good and bad days. They don’t tell you how dark and lonely the bad ones are, or how isolated and scared they make you feel. They tell you, you might have trouble sleeping. They don’t tell you about all the 3am breakdowns you’ll endure, or how everything seems worse at night. They tell you, you may loose your appetite. They don’t tell you about the days that you don’t even have the energy to eat, or how sick food can make you feel. They tell you, you’ll be tired sometimes. They don’t tell you how it doesn’t matter how much you sleep you’ll always feel exhausted, or that some days you’ll be so tired even brushing your hair is a mountain to climb. They tell you, you may become distant from others. They don’t tell you it’s because you feel unworthy enough to enjoy the company of others, or how sometimes you just can’t face the world. They tell you, you might feel the need to harm yourself. They don’t tell you about the shame you feel as you purposely hurt your body, or the need to have some control over your life as it spirals - even if that way is inflicting pain.  These are just some of the parts of depression no one tells you about, but the parts people should know.",-0.9801,negative,sad
982,MentalHealthSupport,The Parts No one tells you,listener_1,2,Dealing with a really bad day today...I was trying to find an article that says basically all this because I needed some validation... Thank you for writing it down. I feel guilty on days like this because of how shitty I feel and how hard it is to get out of this feeling....,-0.7156,negative,ashamed
982,MentalHealthSupport,The Parts No one tells you,speaker,3,"I totally understand, I’m having a really bad time as well, as bad as I’ve ever been. I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself for being this way and not being able to stop it. Please remember that you’re not alone, I know it seems like you are because I feel the same..but we’re fighting a battle and the least we can do is fight it together in any way we can. If you ever need to talk or vent, please message me. It’s a safe space with someone who understands and there’s no judgement ❤️",-0.9265,negative,agreeing
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,speaker,1,"I'm having a hard time and I feel like nobody in my life cares about anything I say. I've ended up putting myself in this personal bubble where I'm lying to everyone I know about my feelings. It's  getting so hard because I feel so trapped. I think I've been lying to myself for a very long time, and  it's  just made everything about me get worse instead of get better.",-0.8455,negative,ashamed
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,listener_1,2,I did the same for years until I had a meltdown. When I reached out for help I was surprised about how supportive my family and friends were.,0.8519,positive,grateful
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,speaker,3,It's  just so hard because I can't talk to people because I don't have control over my emotions.  I feel like it demeans  what I'm trying to say when I can't  get the words out.,0.1615,positive,ashamed
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,listener_2,4,"Maybe you could write down and practice a little bit what you want to say.  You  could try your message on someone here so that when you are comfortable you could go through your points with that person you trust in real life.   All that matters is that you are trying, keep at it.",0.7906,positive,suggesting
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,listener_1,5,Write it down in a piece of paper.,0.0,neutral,questioning
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,speaker,6,"I'll  try that, thank you.",0.3612,positive,wishing
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,listener_1,7,Let me know how did it go,0.0,neutral,questioning
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,speaker,8,Ok~,0.0,neutral,questioning
983,MentalHealthSupport,I just need someone to talk to,speaker,9,Thank you~,0.3612,positive,wishing
984,MentalHealthSupport,Does it ever REALLY get better?,speaker,1,"F21 here.  I don’t know anymore, I really don’t. I feel so ungrateful that I even feel like this now. When I was younger I didn’t feel so guilty, I had no one, but now, I have a great support network.  My girlfriend is great, obviously she supports me the best she can, sometimes she doesn’t say the right things but I can see so clearly she’s trying.   My mum and dad are better, they’ve supported me and acknowledged that they haven’t always been there for me and have helped me start to see a real psychologist.   Uni, that’s another fuck around. I was so depressed in first year I failed two subjects, no one but my gf knows. I’ve dropped down from a double degree to a single nursing degree. Idk if it’s even what I want to do anymore and I’m going into my fourth year. Is it a waste to give up now? Of course even I know that. Have I been doing it to please everyone? I kinda enjoy it, helping people makes me feel like I’m making a difference. The whole reason I wanted to be a nurse was because I honestly didn’t think I’d last thing long, and why not try to help others in my waste of an existence. Seeing the way other nurse treat people makes me feel sick, I’m way too empathetic. I feel like my depressed brain doesn’t retain any information. What if I’m the reason someone doesn’t get better? It makes me want to vomit.  My whole life I’ve grown up with others telling me I’m not good enough, but when I think about it I think it was mainly me the whole time. I don’t know how to stop. I really don’t. Even if it’s not 24/7, I’m a piece of shit. I don’t know why.   My psychology doesn’t really listen, I can see she’s trying to help me, but I feel like she’s just going through the steps she has been taught, not listening to me. But at the end of the day I feel like actually getting into my fucked up brain is way above her pay description.  A guy tried to kiss me at a club and I had a full blown panic attack. After it happened I went outside and asked someone for a cigarette and burnt myself with it. I haven’t self harmed for ages and I felt dirty after, I don’t want people seeing that. I was assaulted when I was very young but to be honest I never think about it. My psyc tries to tell me that’s where some of my deep problems stem from but tbh, I don’t even remember it that much. I don’t want to and I think I’m ok with dealing with it like that.    I don’t even know what I’m trying to ask in this thread. I suppose does it ever get better? I mean I feel so selfish. I’m not a depressed piece of shit 24/7 anyone, drugs helped me cope with that (weed, mdma, and about 20 lsd trips later, half of them bad) but my god sometimes it’s a slippery slope. I try so hard to make people like me. I’m constantly thinking about things no one gives a fuck about - it’s all in my head. I talk to much to cover it up which just makes it worse.   I just want to know, do you ever stop hating yourself? Even if it’s not full blown, I want to stop brining myself down every chance I get. Walking past mirrors ‘when did you ever think you weren’t going to look fat in that’, eating food, ‘everyone can see how much your eating’, literally just walking, ‘everyone can can see how gross you look’. A lot of it stems from having no self image. How do I change that? I really want to get better. I hide it so well that I can sometimes even make myself believe it but I’m really not",-0.9636,negative,grateful
984,MentalHealthSupport,Does it ever REALLY get better?,listener_1,2,"What I can tell you is that it has the \*potential\* to get better if you don't give up and keep trying.   I can't accurately judge your therapist, but you should be working on goals that you want to accomplish. Like one of your main goals of therapy should be learning how to love yourself and you should be taught tools in which to do so. Maybe your therapist is giving you tools and you just aren't using them or listening, I don't know. But if they aren't, then it's time to find a therapist that's actually doing their job.  From past experience, I know that it takes both parties giving 100% for therapy to work. My therapist can be great, but if I'm not totally honest and willing to do the work, then I'm not going to make any progress. The same in reverse is true. If I'm giving 100% and my therapist sucks, then I'm not being supported and helped in the right ways and they're not a good fit for me.   To answer your question, yes, I've stopped hating myself. I love myself now. But it took, not only a lot of work to get to this point, but I've had to be willing to take personal responsibility for the choices I was making and how I was contributing to my own misery.   This is what I used to get where I am at today: [www.innerpathways.org](https://www.innerpathways.org). Maybe it will help.",0.983,positive,suggesting
984,MentalHealthSupport,Does it ever REALLY get better?,speaker,3,"Thank you for your reply. I think I agree with what you have to say about continuously using the tools / techniques my psyc has given me to improve my self worth. It’s just hard because when I’m supposed to be implementing them is when I feel my lowest, why should I try to better myself if I see no point.   I REALLY do want to try and get better. It’s not going to be easy, but thank you for your words and further info",0.8761,positive,agreeing
984,MentalHealthSupport,Does it ever REALLY get better?,listener_1,4,"It is so incredibly difficult to even feel motivated to make changes and apply the tools when you don't see the point. I agree with that 100%. If you think it's not going to work and/or you don't feel any different or see progress when you are trying, everything feels futile. It's such a defeating feeling!  I'll be really honest with you--I ADORED my therapist and I think he is fucking rad and he helped me tremendously in so many ways. That being said, what pushed me into the workshop I mentioned above was the fact that I was so incredibly TIRED of hating myself. I was literally afraid I was going to die (either by my own hand or natural causes) never having loved myself. I was desperate. It's not that my therapists techniques and tools didn't work and that I wasn't addressing past issues of abuse, self-hatred...etc. I was. But at the end of all of that, I still felt I was like the one mistake the universe made. Like Hitler wasn't a mistake, but I am. I'm the defect the universe wish they could erase.   I don't feel that way now and since applying the techniques I've learned in that workshop...and that's going on over 5 years now.  My point being--I understand. You have to feel like you're not just treading water and getting nowhere. You have to feel like you're making progress AND that you're worth saving instead of just letting you sink to the bottom. And it's REALLY difficult to get out of that head-space when you're in it. I call it being down the rabbit hole.   For now, I would just try to be as kind as you possibly can to yourself. Talk to yourself and treat yourself as you would your best friend or a child you were taking care of. If you wouldn't do it or say it to them, then don't do it to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and know that even though you don't feel like your worth the effort, know that you are worth every bit of it! <3",0.99,positive,agreeing
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),speaker,1,"I say no pitty, by this I mean I don't want to call someone, I don't want to be told life is worth living, because for me, it's not. This voice won't stop and its getting louder. I need it all to be gone, no positive, no negative, nothing.  Ive been ill with mental health struggles since high school, I'm now 25 and I can't help but feel this is completely worthless and it won't change.  I have a strip of codine, 7 100 g sertraline, 7 25mg quitipine, 2 strips of 5mg diazipam, I also have a couple strops of 500mg paracetamol, along with some antihistamines. Will this do it? Can I still donate my organs when I'm dead?",-0.9146,negative,sad
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),speaker,3,"I don't know what to do. I can't do this, if I call someone then it's a trip to the hospital for an assessment, told I'll be referred to a psychiatrist again and then back home to feel like this again. It's a circle and I can't get out of it. I would want my organs to go to someone who wants to live, so my life at least helped someone, I'm deviststed they wouldn't be donated.",0.4215,positive,devastated
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),listener_2,4,I’m in the same spot,0.0,neutral,faithful
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),listener_3,5,how come you don't want to live anymore?,-0.0572,negative,questioning
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),speaker,6,"I have a voice in my head, I swear it can't be me. It's getting louder and louder and I can't handle it. The intrusive thoughts are constant. I feel so low then numb. Distractions aren't working anymore. I do the breathing exercises, the therapy, etc etc. I feel like everyone hates me so why not just disappear? I don't want to think anymore. The voice keeps reminding me of being sexually assaulted, telling me I deserved it. This fucking hurts. I can't do thud anymore I really cant",-0.9239,negative,terrified
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),listener_4,7,"I do hope you are still here.  You CAN get help you just need to go to  hospital, mental health facility, somewhere.  I can promise you that they care and wont judge or give you pity.  Trust me, we dont get paid much we do want to help people and there IS help out there.",0.9509,positive,trusting
985,MentalHealthSupport,How can I kill myself? Will this work? Will it be painless? (no pitty please),listener_5,8,"I hear voices too. I know how you feel. Its isolating and terrifying but this life will get better for you. Help is out there!! Please give getting help another try! Sending you good vibes and if you ever need an understanding ear, shoot me a message.",0.9346,positive,agreeing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,1,"I just lost the love of my life after telling him my deepest and darkest secret. I was selling explicit photos for extra cash, judge me all you want I’m used to it, and I mentioned it. We had plans of marriage and now I’m just disgusting to me, but wants to be friends??!   I’m dying inside.",0.5577,positive,ashamed
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,listener_1,2,"I’m really sorry about that. It’s not your fault, you were trying to get some extra money in your own way to support you guys. He should’ve been ok with it and if not then I know it’s hard but maybe he wasn’t the right person. The right person I think should support whatever you do while ensuring you’re also safe and happy, and honestly selling nudes is not the worst thing you could do. I know it feels like it and me saying otherwise isn’t really going to help, but just in case, you aren’t disgusting, you are still beautiful and deserve to be loved. This is a really hard time so be sure to take it easy.",0.9934,positive,sympathizing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,3,Thank you. It’s so fresh. I’d rather sleep for a month and wake up remembering nothing.,0.6696,positive,acknowledging
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,listener_1,4,Yeah I definitely get that. I know it’s not the best thing or most recommended but a couple drinks could help you forget. Again also be sure to try not to do dumb stuff while drunk but it’s a possibility. Could also help you sleep a bit.,0.8740000000000001,positive,agreeing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,5,Sorry I made a small edit to my post to clarify my situation. Sometimes I assume everyone knows already for some dumb reason :(,-0.7579,negative,sympathizing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,6,I toke. Thank you for responding.,0.3612,positive,grateful
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,7,"It just hadn’t come up until today. He’s got some skeletons that I asked him about that I just decided to disregard as the past is the past.  He knows I’ve had a hard life but doesn’t really want to hear about it because it hurts him too much.   So like I said it’s never come up. I actually told him that I had done it and that’s how he found out. I was shocked when he reacted the way he did.   I suffer from bpd and being a disappointment to someone you love or anger them then you’re whole world falls down. I’ve been able to avoid cutting myself but the goddamned temptation is always there. Last time it didn’t help, so I rationalize that it won’t help but am now left with “now wtf do I do?”....",-0.9545,negative,ashamed
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,listener_2,8,"Oof even thinking about it made me feel so depressed. I wish I could just help you right here right now. All I can say that maybe he got so wrapped in the heat of the moment and couldn’t control his anger. Have you talked to him afterwards maybe he also regrets lashing out on you like that and not taking things slow? Also the way said he knows about your past but doesn’t want to talk about it seems dismissive... Like ignoring reality or ignoring something that makes you YOU. Perhaps you could mention that you regard his past as past and dont let it sully the current image of him? I wish could help you more  And on that note please do not harm yourself. It really isnt worth it. I can see what pain you are going through Right now your life might seem like it is slipping under your feet and you have no control over anything and feel hopeless but everything DOES pass. Things DO get better. If you harm yourself you would just be pushing yourself right back to bottom. Also it would hurt your loved ones as well. If you think that it will make you feel better talk to a friend or a family member who really knows you i am sure they will be happy to help. If you feel like you are spiraling way too much into self-harm related thoughts I really suggest you to seek professional help, there are always people that can help you. You are not alone 😌",0.985,positive,suggesting
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,listener_1,9,"Oh wow kids, that must be even tougher. Sorry about that. Even more evidence that your ex maybe wasn’t as nice and supportive of you as you thought. Again be sure to take it easy and cuddle your kids, it might help too.",0.9442,positive,acknowledging
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,10,I just lost my mum in July and I live in a new place and I don’t k ow anyone. I don’t have any family I’m close to. I would have def called them if I had them. So I vented to reddit.,-0.3182,negative,lonely
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,11,"Thank you so much. I have not hurt myself. I’m very proud of myself, it just doesn’t change how I feel rn.   I’m working on it.",0.8257,positive,proud
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,12,Thank you for your insight.,0.3612,positive,wishing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,13,Thank you so much.,0.3612,positive,wishing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,speaker,14,Thank you. That’s exactly what I’m doing. My kids are always first.,0.3612,positive,agreeing
986,MentalHealthSupport,I just lost the love of my life.,listener_2,15,My sincere condolences. Id too vent on reddit when I have no one to talk to,0.128,positive,lonely
987,MentalHealthSupport,Am I real?,speaker,1,"I realise that the title is a bit... sensationalistic but it's kinda how I've been feeling lately. Depending on my mood or situation, what I'm doing or what I'm influenced by in the moment, I feel like a different person. I wouldn't even say ""I"" because it doesn't feel like me. Now I feel like me and someone feels like themselves when I don't feel like me. I have my opinions and my perspective and I have my interest, my emotions. I have me and then there are several states of mind that aren't me and if that's the case how do I know I'm me right now? That I'm not just some fraction of someone else's mind? How can I say I'm real but the others aren't? What makes me any less of a fraud or fake than any of the others?",0.2904,positive,confident
987,MentalHealthSupport,Am I real?,listener_1,2,"Descartes said ""I doubt therefore I think, I think therefore I am"" also, I think about this a lot too and I highly recommend the book Turtles All the Way Down",0.0754,positive,agreeing
987,MentalHealthSupport,Am I real?,speaker,3,"If thinking like that could keep me out of this, whatever ""this"" is I wouldn't feel like ""this"" right now. Or ever. I'll look into that book though.",0.1002,positive,apprehensive
987,MentalHealthSupport,Am I real?,speaker,4,I'll take a look into that book but I don't see how it would help.,0.5499,positive,neutral
988,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t do this anymore...,speaker,1,"I can’t keep going any longer, I’m not strong enough to face what’s being thrown at me. I want it all to be over. Nobody seems to understand why I’m hurting so badly, even my closest family, friends and boyfriend. I try explaining it but I’m constant being told to just try harder and just to relax ? But I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.",0.2152,positive,devastated
988,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t do this anymore...,listener_1,2,"Please reach out, even thought you think you're  alone you are not. You can get through this!",0.1759,positive,consoling
988,MentalHealthSupport,I can’t do this anymore...,speaker,3,"Thank you, I’m in Scotland but have the number, I’ll keep it in mind",0.29600000000000004,positive,wishing
989,MentalHealthSupport,Bad social anxiety,speaker,1,"Hi I was wondering if yall have an advice for bad social anxiety. I’ve had it since pre teens and I’m in my early 20s now and started my first adult job about 9 months ago. My job entails me to work closely with two other guys (I’m F) and we basically do the same lab job just at different shifts- I’m night shift. But I still interact with them and others till around 2200 and then its only a couple people across the hall from me that I don’t see too often till midnight or later.   All this to say I’m pretty alone in comparison to most people but just that little bit of interaction is suffocating me. Also the fact that I think people watch what I do, or people talk about me and I have no way to find out given I’m not around the rumor mill. I’ve not had a close guy friend and so the new people and different gender and trying not to mess up around them has gotten to me. I’m starting to have panic attacks at work and at home. I don’t want to go to work but if I didn’t it would be suspicious cause I’m viewed as the go getter in our little group since I like to ask a lot of questions.   Do yall have any way to help with this? I’m looking around for a therapist or someone to talk to since I did that years ago and it seemed to lessen the panic associated with my anxiety but I can’t get in touch with anyone soon - more like weeks out. I just think I’m going crazy and I can’t breath around them. I cry with my panic attacks and I know if I look or act off- I’m usually fairly happy looking/acting- that they’ll notice- the guys are very perceptive- and the fear that they know or will find out and make assumptions is killing me.   Also they tend to joke around a lot and sometimes too much with me and end up going to far a couple times already. I’ve also tried to distance myself from that when I thought it was too much for me but they end up sucking me back in cause I like to joke around too and we have similar humor but then it gets too much and it just cycles. I don’t want to make too much of it though cause I don’t want to strain the relationships or the job environment since it is just a few of us at a time.   Thanks for listening/reading.",-0.8656,negative,anxious
989,MentalHealthSupport,Bad social anxiety,listener_1,2,I am not in a position to give any advice but I can talk and listen to you.If it works for you!,0.0,neutral,trusting
989,MentalHealthSupport,Bad social anxiety,speaker,3,If you’re fine with it I’ll try and take your offer. I just don’t want to off load on anyone and stress them unnecessarily.,-0.1779,negative,content
989,MentalHealthSupport,Bad social anxiety,listener_1,4,no worries just message me whenever you want to talk.Its morning time in my country!,0.4449,positive,questioning
990,MentalHealthSupport,When you counselor tells you that you can’t ever get better...,speaker,1,"I swear be careful using BetterHelp. All the counselors I’ve ever had with them over charged and barely ever talked or responded for weeks and they guarantee a 48 hrs response time. My current therapist also sarcastically said that they don’t respond at 2 or 3am. Only I never expected her to. I did however expect her to reply within or a little after 48hrs as she said she would. Only it consistently took her weeks for nearly every reply I gave her. Get a counselor you can trust because it’s so important and you deserve to have someone who believes in you and knows you can get better. I’m worried for other users who might not be in the place to deal with something so toxic, if you find someone there who does help you, congratulations! I hope you will all stay safe and get well. You are loved and deserving of happiness! 💕💕💕",0.9914,positive,trusting
990,MentalHealthSupport,When you counselor tells you that you can’t ever get better...,listener_1,2,"Yo that app is horrid, or at least my experience on it was. My first counselor complained that my messages were too long (my history is very extensive) and my second one would ""borrow my brain"" and spend our calls asking me information about how certain psychiatric disorders are approached and managed (I was a physician training in psychiatry when I had to move to the country I'm currently in and not listened to practice in.)   I was so thankful when I finally acquired insurance that partially paid for psychotherapy. Even if there is more time between each session due to finances, the care is much better.",0.7745,positive,grateful
990,MentalHealthSupport,When you counselor tells you that you can’t ever get better...,speaker,3,That’s what I’m trying to do. I tried multiple therapists on that app and each one was a horrible experience. My last one literally told me I’d never get better. Acting like me asking her to put more effort into our conversations was too much to ask and getting sarcastic on me trying to make me feel bad for expecting her to do her job. Half the stuff we went over was stuff I already knew and techniques I was already using from books I’ve read and the internet.,-0.8362,negative,disappointed
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,speaker,1,"So recently a lot of stuff has happened. My parents found some drugs in my bedroom from new year’s which one of my friends forgot when she was visiting(I didn’t know and haven’t been in the room since then because I left for a three weeks vacation right after she left). It also came to light that I might have some mental health issues. My parents have always been very overprotective and have always interfered with too much of my things over the years. For example when I moved away a couple of years ago, they gave me a car so that I would come home every weekend. They also called me an addict because I used some pain medication I got at the pharmacy which had caffeine in them, and they had a really bad reaction to me using them.  Now the thing is I’m turning 22 this year, and since they found out about all this, they have basically locked me up in the house. I couldn’t go out by myself, and they forbid me to meet my boyfriend. When I then told them I could live like that, my mother had a mental breakdown and was really close to taking her own life because she was “loosing” her only child, because I wanted to move out. I temporarily agreed that my boyfriend and I would take a break until I am healthy again, which to them means no contact.. I don’t know if I’m okay with it though, and I don’t know if I can keep living at home, cause they’re strangling me, and they won’t listen when I talk to them. How so I deal with this in the best way?  Btw, sorry for writing mistakes, English isn’t my first language.",0.2748,positive,afraid
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,listener_1,2,"Your parents sound so similar to mine. It's called Narcicism. You're an adult. Your parents can't lock you in their house and demand that you adjust your life for them. It's up to you if you want to stay in that situation, but for me personally I'm 23, I had to do an unexpected move out from my parents house last month, as they would have done everything in their power to stop me if I told them my plans. (they previously sabotaged my plans to move abroad with my girlfriend, so we've now had to recalibrate our whole life and plans. So I planned for a few weeks with my girlfriend and once everything was set I told my parents that I was moving (on the day I was moving). You have to learn to look at people for who they actually are, not who they are ""supposed or expected to be"" and you have to learn how to maneuver around people, because people are constantly moving you for their desires.  48 laws of power or 33 strategies of war. There are free audio book versions available on YouTube.   Have a listen to them in silence so your parents don't know you are learning and therefore can't suspect and plan to sabotage you.  Don't be a surf anymore, take your life into your own hands. If you want to.",-0.7662,negative,agreeing
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,speaker,3,"I will most definitely take a look at that, thank you! I really don’t like that they feel like they can deny me having contact with my boyfriend and friends, so I have to take my life in my own hands now! Thank you so much for your advice though! It never occurred to me that I could just walk out on the day",0.9306,positive,agreeing
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,listener_1,4,"Just make sure you plan properly, but keep your plan open to being adjusted, and be open to unexpected opportunities and challenges. The key is your mindset in the situation. Keep your mind strong and you will succeed.  God speed!",0.9531,positive,prepared
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,speaker,5,"I’ve already started packing the things that I need so I can get them out before I tell my parents, just in case they won’t let me take anything with me, I also have two weeks of vacation to plan this and to listen to the books. I already have a place to stay, so that’s not a problem, the thing I’m most worried about is that they’ll lock me up again, so maybe tell them in a more public place? How did your parents react after you moved out? Did you have a falling out?",-0.3346,negative,apprehensive
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,listener_1,6,"My parents tend to use emotional manipulation, so they were very sad and trying to fill my head with paranoia and fear. They have accepted it but they want me to be back home. But I think its a good idea to pack the things and try to get them out when they are out. And if you can do it it a more public place with your boyfriend and/or a friend who understands the situation from an objective perspective, just so you have the emotional back up.  Just be direct, and don't get roped into explaining it to them. Just say what you are doing, and how it's happening and that they will have to adjust to a new phase of your relationship.  You're an adult and so are they, so the dynamics of your relationship with them also needs to change to accommodate your independence and free will.  If they do get you to explain it, just say what i said in the last paragraph.  Just let them know that you have no ill feelings to them, and that you still love them and appreciate them.  Just be prepared and aware that there will be challenges that you might not have forseen before your move that will make you feel like you made a bad choice. But you can overcome and turn any challenge into an opportunity to make yourself better, it's all in the mind.",0.9889,positive,apprehensive
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,speaker,7,"Okay, cause last time I brought it up my mom basically said I was choosing crackheads over the family and she was about to take her own life because she lost her only child. I don’t think she was joking, so I’m just afraid that she has some mental issues as well, so that’s also why I think it’s a good idea to do it in public. I was supposed to move out March 1st but then they wouldn’t let me because of the whole crack in the bedroom and mental health and all that. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise I think..",0.6597,positive,terrified
991,MentalHealthSupport,What should I do? Need advice,listener_1,8,"Well you have to be real with yourself as well and think of things from your parents perspective. You have to also be aware that they've lived more life than you, so maybe they are seeing things in your group of friends that you don't necessarily see. They definitely aren't dealing with it in the right way, but you have to be real and look at your situation objectively. You also don't want to make your self fully dependent on your boyfriend and friends because then you'd be in a worse off situation.  I'm not gonna lie to you, if your only other option is to become dependent on people dealing with that kind of substance you should think twice about what you're about to do and whether you'd be better off accepting the situation for now and make a strategy for the long term.  Go with your gut.",0.8983,positive,agreeing
992,MentalHealthSupport,No emotions,speaker,1,"I just want to type this out because I dont really have anyone to talk to about this but I feel like I dont have any emotions. I do but it's as if everything is backwards..  Most of the time I just describe myself as neutral. I can laugh if something is funny but if something is sad I have no reaction to it. Any sort of emotions I show last a very sort amount of time, literally less than 3 minutes. If I'm alone for too long i feel ""depressed"" but it's not real depression not sure. I dont feel anything when I've hurt someone or if someone comes to me for advice.  For example when my aunt died I had to act sad when really I didnt care and wanted to get on with my day. And when my grandma told me she was thinking about killing herself I just awkwardly smiled and said ""what am I supposed to say"". Also with my ex, I only dated him because I just wanted to know what it was like to date and he was a very jealous person. Whenever I was away from him i felt lonely but when i was with him i felt annoyed, even after he cheated on me I literally had no reaction and stayed with him cuz I hated being alone. Also I broke up with him atleast 7 times which kind of put him through hell.   For me everything is like a script of a movie. If I havent been through the situation before I dont know how people want me to react. Like at work I'm a cashier and it's the same lines over and over so I'm good at it. But say if someone approached me on the street I'm very quiet until I can figure them out. With all my friends I act a different way. I act the way they want a friend to act.  I cant really help that I'm like this. Honestly I feel like it's worse than how I've described it but I'm not sure what else to say.",-0.9881,negative,lonely
992,MentalHealthSupport,No emotions,listener_1,2,"Hello friend. Have you looked into seeing if you are a psycho/sociopath? Not as an insult, but a medical diagnosis to these conditions that can result in some of the things you’re talking about",0.4499,positive,questioning
992,MentalHealthSupport,No emotions,speaker,3,No offense taken. I have thought about that as a possibility but I dont like going to therapist to get an offical diagnosis because I find them all to be the same and a waste of time.,-0.718,negative,angry
993,MentalHealthSupport,how do i tell my mom i feel tired of life?,speaker,1,"hey guys,  so the past two years haven’t been too great for me. i’ve been constantly sad and bored and honestly i’m tired of feeling this way. i’m tired of always feeling tired. my life’s literal trash. i’m a disappointment to everyone, including a disappointment to myself.     i’m kinda battling with body image, i used to be sort of confident but now i hardly find one thing i like about myself anymore. i’ve stopped going to the gym due to health issues and i’ve lost a lot of weight and i literally don’t recognise myself anymore...i hate the way i look! all day i lay in bed and only go out whenever i have to see my doctor and once a week when my food’s over.   i lost all my motivation; i stopped studying, dropped out of college, i hardly go out with my friends now, i haven’t been in a relationship for over two years...?!!!  i feel alone and so lonely and like no one wants me anymore and it’s time for me to end it. my health’s been getting worse lately too.   the thing is, my mom’s sorta keeping me alive. for the last 2 years, i’ve been contemplating suicide and even gotten close to do it twice but thinking about my mom..i can’t do it   she’s really sensitive and i know she’s going to suffer a lot, and the thought of her that way truly frightens me.  she’s raised me as a single mother and i’m her only child; she’s sacrificed her youth to take care of me and gave me all her love. she’s thought me so many things, i couldn’t be more grateful.       the thing is...i don’t want her to think she wasn’t a good enough mom and to think that my suicide is her fault. the things that kinda have driven me to be thinking about ending my life have nothing to do at all with her.   i haven’t talked with her about my mental issues, but i’m planning on doing it soon. how should i approach the matter?",-0.9629,negative,lonely
993,MentalHealthSupport,how do i tell my mom i feel tired of life?,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
993,MentalHealthSupport,how do i tell my mom i feel tired of life?,listener_2,3,"Second this, please (please) reach out.",0.5719,positive,suggesting
994,MentalHealthSupport,Here to lend a helping hand,speaker,1,"Hello everyone, I hope everyone is as well as they can be given everyone's individual situations. At the end of the day we are all doing the best we can, and trying to figure out this crazy thing called life.  I can't remember when I joined this sub, however I've recently been paying more attention to everyone's posts, and it's shocking to see how many other people have similar an even worse experiences and struggles as myself with mental health.  I'm a person that's struggled with depression since I was 7, which was the first time I attempted suicide.  I'm still young and trying to figure things out, but I'm making progress. I'm qualified as a Nutrition Therapist. And something that I can share is that our environment:  - what we eat, drink, breathe and touch. - where & how we live - what we do - what we perceive (real or imagined)  These things all have a direct effect on our DNA, and to avoid getting too complicated. It basically means that when our environmental load surpasses our genetic ability to adapt and cope, then diseases develop in the MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT (Spirit being a collection of both).  What I'm saying is that I have definitely noticed overall and sustained improvements in my overall mental health since I learned and applied this knowledge to my own life. And I've seen it improve the lives of others that were in worse situations that myself.   So if anyone would like any help or advice please feel free to reach out.   Have a blessed day everyone.",0.9855,positive,caring
994,MentalHealthSupport,Here to lend a helping hand,listener_1,2,Hi could you give some examples of informed changes you made that helped you?,0.0,neutral,questioning
994,MentalHealthSupport,Here to lend a helping hand,speaker,3,"Some key changes that I've made, besides adressing any nutrition deficiencies I had are:  - Changing the way I think about people, situations, myself, and life. And realising that for every new person and situation I need to be open to learning new ways of doing things, seeing things, and relating both myself and others.  - Cutting out negative influences, I.E. Certain music I used to listen to.   - Changing bad habits: Deleted all social media and only log in to Instagram and facebook for business related tasks. I occasionally browse through reddit.   - Not checking social media first thing in the morning.  - Meditation  - Regular Exercise   - Learning about and applying certain principles /laws.    There hasn't been one single thing that's made a difference as there are often multiple aspects of life that needs balancing or changing. Being open to new experiences & people without judging them based on past experiences is essential.",-0.6705,negative,guilty
994,MentalHealthSupport,Here to lend a helping hand,listener_1,4,Thank you!,0.4199,positive,wishing
994,MentalHealthSupport,Here to lend a helping hand,speaker,5,You're welcome!,0.5093,positive,wishing
995,MentalHealthSupport,For those who were in denial about possible depression and anxiety - what made you take the first step to getting/asking for help?,speaker,1,"Hi everyone, my first post here.   I'm a bit of a desperate person who's mom has been showing signs for months, and am trying to find any way possible to help her get to that place where she understands it's getting bad. My mom doesn't want me to be involved and shuts me out every way possible, and is in strong denial (claims she doesn't want me to worry). The only person she confides in is a friend that doesn't actively encourage her to seek ""realistic"" solutions (therapy, meds if she needs it, etc.) as the friend is quite religious. She is quite religious herself too. Basically wondering if any of you were/are in a similar situation (my mom's position or mine) and have some experience stories.  For extra info, as she has been refusing help I am not certain she has depression or anxiety, I'm just guessing from her general behaviour and reaction to things. I've also seen two different therapists myself to ask whether it might be mental illness, and they've confirmed to me that the symptoms were quite clear - at least from what they've heard from me. Hence me pointing out depression and anxiety more specifically. Again, unfortunately no certainty.",-0.9265,negative,lonely
995,MentalHealthSupport,For those who were in denial about possible depression and anxiety - what made you take the first step to getting/asking for help?,listener_1,2,"I made the decision to want to get better. It seems absolutely placating but it's true. You can't do it for anyone else. You have to get to the point where you want to get better for you. (Not that you can't recognize the benefits to others) Healing hurts like a bitch. It's 100% worth it, but it's hard. You have to get to the point where you are tired of feeling bad, you are tired of your life the way it is, and you can no longer tolerate the consequences of leaving it untreated. A small story: I was anxious, it started coming to a head about two years ago when I was dating someone. (Or so I thought) I let it impact every aspect of my life. (Someone I loved, my job, my health, everything) I decided to get help for only the symptoms. (I just wanted to get back to how I was before, I didn't want to heal.) It didn't work. Things deteriorated. The person and I broke up. My life shifted. Nothing got better anxiety wise. (normally life changes distracted me enough to curb it for a bit) and I had a rough few months. One day, on a whim, I decided I was tired of my life the way it was. I was tired of being tired, and scared. I was tired of being home and sleeping all the time and hating my life. So.... I made the choice and it was only then when I took my own steps. I found a counselor. I figured out exactly why I was so anxious. (Surprise! I was always scared, I was just numb before I met the person) I worked on a lot of things, I'm still working. It's night and day difference. (Also, surprise benefit to working through anxiety is it releases the physical symptoms which tanked both my energy and self esteem)",-0.9887,negative,sad
995,MentalHealthSupport,For those who were in denial about possible depression and anxiety - what made you take the first step to getting/asking for help?,listener_1,3,But once I was ready to figure out the root causes (vs. treating symptoms) and my goal was healing (not trying to get back to numbness) everything took off. I'm happier and healthier. I'm not longer taking medication. (No issues with meds but I didn't care for them personally. There are some people with legitimate chemical imbalances that it would benefit. I am a case where the meds weren't necessary once I started doing work),0.7755,positive,content
995,MentalHealthSupport,For those who were in denial about possible depression and anxiety - what made you take the first step to getting/asking for help?,speaker,4,"Thanks so much for your detailed response. It really is the hardest part having to stand by and hope she makes the decision that will in the long-term help her. I will of course continue to be present, on the sidelines, making sure I'm there for her as much as I can be. Our relationship is definitely wearing down as well as I'm not emotionally able to cope with this myself, I may have to see someone about it myself to make sure I'm better emotionally, not only for her but for myself too. I'm glad to hear you've gotten better, it does give me hope for my mom too. Thanks again.",0.9775,positive,wishing
995,MentalHealthSupport,For those who were in denial about possible depression and anxiety - what made you take the first step to getting/asking for help?,speaker,5,"Thanks for your reply. I also hope for all the best for your family, I hope your son will also understand slowly that you're there for him and that you love him always. These things do take time, and I myself have also found myself being frantic, sometimes finding it difficult to draw the line between what's ""not her"" and what may just be a bad day. It's hard... Like you said it's up to them whether they take steps towards help or not. Thanks again though for the comment, it's always nice hearing other people's stories, reassures me that I'm not alone.",0.9488,positive,encouraging
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_2,1,"I'm living alone in a new city and had a traumatic breakup almost 2 years ago. I have been growing older and hopefully wiser in some cases. However as I'm aging I recognise less and less of myself in the mirror. I can't accept myself as I am, so I've stopped trying instead focusing on work and career. Craving intimacy I've ended up in a pretty scary place. I'd appreciate some strangers to chat through it. :)",0.3044,positive,apprehensive
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,2,"Hey, I don't know much about mental health, so I can't really give you advice, but I'm happy to listen if you wanna talk about it",0.7227,positive,agreeing
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_2,3,Thanks. I'd like to talk,0.6597,positive,sympathizing
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,4,I sent you a DM,0.0,neutral,sentimental
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_2,5,"Thanks a lot. These words mean a lot right now. Having someone to just talk it out would be really good. I have a good support system but they are away. Thanks for your offer, I'll keep it in mind :)",0.9287,positive,acknowledging
995,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,6,I’m always here if you ever need anything. You don’t have to go through stuff alone. It’s the fucking worst. You deserve to have someone make space for you to heal as well. Sending all the love and kindness I can muster.,0.4417,positive,caring
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,speaker,1,"Today is a very hard day, I am fighting with myself to ensure I follow through on the skills I’ve learned in therapy, and when it gets to be too much I call crisis lines. I don’t have a support system I can rely on, so I keep calling. I just want to be heard. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but if you could send just a simple thought, I’d appreciate it. Thank you.",0.7143,positive,faithful
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,listener_1,2,"Smile friend, your user name reminded me of Freddie Mercury, I'll never forget him saying ""i always knew i was a star, now the rest of the worlds just caught up to me"" that made me smile after a bad day, thank you :) you did a good thing there (albeit unintentionally) so you should smile too.",0.9385,positive,acknowledging
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,speaker,3,There was a time I believed in my heart that I’d be just like him in some way. “The Show Must Go On” has been on of the most impactful songs I’ve ever come across. Thank you for reminding me of this.,0.8481,positive,faithful
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,speaker,4,I hope that I can have courage like his one day. He lived his life on his on his own terms. I want to live like that one day.,0.8859999999999999,positive,hopeful
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,speaker,5,"I don’t need a lot of words. You taking the time to write. It means a lot. This person on the internet is grateful for you. I hope that whenever things get hard for you, that you remember that you aren’t alone. It will get better.",0.7506,positive,grateful
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,speaker,6,I sure am ready for this one to end. Thank you. Sending you all of love and kindness I can muster.,0.926,positive,prepared
996,MentalHealthSupport,Today is hard.,listener_2,7,"Thanks friend. Even though it’s dark, you can still find stars to look at until day comes. Things aren’t all bad, so focus on the good",0.6705,positive,grateful
997,MentalHealthSupport,im so fucking small and ugly,speaker,1,"today at school, our height and weight got measured. turns out im almost the shortest (155 cm) and probably thr fucking fattest. while others just a year younger than me are fucking 165 cm tall and weigh way less than me. i want to fucking kill myself and ive already cried over this twice. i see no future of being short. i cannot accept being ugly. i get no support from online friends and theyre only teasing me or ignoring me",-0.8788,negative,jealous
997,MentalHealthSupport,im so fucking small and ugly,speaker,2,"oh wow, some fucking girl silently said ""can he even talk"" and it was about me",0.5859,positive,impressed
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,speaker,1,I’m thinking of getting back on them. What’s your experience?,0.0,neutral,questioning
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,listener_1,2,"I don't know about you but if I stay out of meds I get really bad. If you are getting worse and nothing more seems to help I suggest you go back on them, but most important talk to you doctor, they should know what's best for you. Best of luck!",0.9341,positive,wishing
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,speaker,3,"Thanks for responding. I’ll speak to him soon about it, thank you!",0.69,positive,wishing
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,listener_1,4,Good. If you want someone to talk to I'm here.,0.4939,positive,content
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,speaker,5,"That’s very kind, thank you!",0.7759,positive,acknowledging
998,MentalHealthSupport,Meds,speaker,6,"Thank you for sharing and being transparent. I’m glad you got the help you needed. It may be small to you but getting help proves that you’re stronger than you could imagine. I’m inspired to do the same. I think the stigma behind medication is what gets me. It’s proof that I’m broken, because if i wasn’t i wouldn’t need medication to fix me. But i read that taking medicine is just as normal as a diabetic taking insulin. So fuck the stigma :)",0.8542,positive,grateful
999,MentalHealthSupport,Drowning again today.,speaker,1,"Hey folks, just getting this off my chest, if you want to contribute, feel free, if not that's fine as well.  Today should have been a very good day for me. I got to spend a ton of time with my SO and our dogs. I learned that I am inheriting a good chunk of money which will basically eliminate any monetary concerns for the foreseeable future. The loss is already way in the past, more than two years, so this was mostly positive news. I also got to see my twin brother again, which is always fun.  And yet, now that I got home I feel sick. I can't bear my own company, and my inner voice is drowning out any happy thought that might come to mind. I'm once again struggling to find a reason to go on. What I'm worried about is the fact the intervals between my bad days get shorter. I'm also worried about my relationship, we've had five good years and two challenging ones, but with me being unstable I'm afraid we might go into another rough one. I also worry about work and about our older dog. I worry about not having found closure after my dad's death a few years ago (I asked the people around me not to mention him, even writing this one sentence is hard). I know this is quite harmless compared to what others in this sub go through, and I know I will be okay tomorrow, but I had to get this out of my system.",-0.8385,negative,joyful
999,MentalHealthSupport,Drowning again today.,listener_1,2,"Don't short sell your metal state... the chemicals in  your brain can really cause you to feel terrible when their are no reason to... talk to your doctor and a therapist can only help... its not weakness to ask for help, its humility.",0.3468,positive,embarrassed
999,MentalHealthSupport,Drowning again today.,listener_2,3,Sorry for the emoji btw,-0.0772,negative,sympathizing
1000,MentalHealthSupport,need help,speaker,1,Hey guys so I've just had a really rough year. I've been in a really toxic relationship and have lost 5 jobs (all hospitality) because I literally just don't care anymore.  I've tried a few therapists but in the sessions I'm too anxious to speak and I just freeze up and don't know what to say so we never get anywhere.  Recently I had a crisis and my dad flew me back to france where my parents live in the middle of nowhere and he won't let me go back to where I live and have a flat because he thinks it's toxic there. So now i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and Im really suicidal. I am really unmotivated and don't know what to do. I really want to get treatment but I can't seem to get it. I had a psychiatry assessment with NHS just before I came home but I haven't heard anything back since. I think i have BPD but i dont know how to get diagnosed and i think it would really help in terms of getting treatment. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do? I feel really lost and scared and Im afraid I might kill myself any day now because I have no options left. Please help,-0.9849,negative,lonely
1000,MentalHealthSupport,need help,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
1000,MentalHealthSupport,need help,speaker,3,"thanks, I just don't know how to go about getting treatment like im really desperate",0.4228,positive,sympathizing
1000,MentalHealthSupport,need help,listener_2,4,"Maybe start by looking online, always the best way, I know that me finding treatment was hard since I had to take the first step and realising somethings up",0.5859,positive,apprehensive
1001,MentalHealthSupport,Hello fellow neuro-atypicals!,speaker,1,"Hello friends! I’m not sure this is allowed here but I’ll try anyway- mods feel free to delete if not within guidelines. So I’ve been in ‘the system’ for 23 years. I am 40 now. It goes without saying that I have a lot of knowledge and experience about mental health, and I’m hoping I can help people feel less alone. My Instagram name is  ‘becausebipolar’ (kind of a misnomer since I discuss much more than just bipolar). Anyway, if you are looking for some things to read (I write A LOT on there) that perhaps will make you feel less isolated, then I am at your service.  Be kind to yourselves, friends!",0.964,positive,hopeful
1001,MentalHealthSupport,Hello fellow neuro-atypicals!,listener_1,2,"Hey, just given you a follow with my mental health Instagram ( a_brit_autistic ) I've only recently set that up but I'm definitely interested in seeing other people's posts too 🙂",0.8924,positive,agreeing
1001,MentalHealthSupport,Hello fellow neuro-atypicals!,speaker,3,Thank you! I will follow you back :),0.6996,positive,wishing
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,speaker,1,"Any ideas of how to cope? Theres a lot out there. I know this question is almost laughable because of how often it is asked. I dont know, I think I'm just trying to reach out.   Every night before I fall asleep I think only about how I would commit suicide. Every morning once I wake up, I do the same. However, when I'm at work, I dont. I think I'm too busy, and i am distracted. Otherwise, it's all i do.   I've been taking trintellix for two week, just got boosted to 20mg. Whatever.   I didnt take it tonight because i dont fucking want to.  Exercise, yeah, i know. It works wonders. But i cant even get myself out of bed, let alone out of the house or even onto a yoga mat.   Do I want to die? No. Do I feel like that's the only option left? Well, yeah.",-0.2396,negative,ashamed
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,listener_1,2,"More distraction, a tiny new habit like 2 minutes massaging your neck or hands, an ASMR video or something.  Nothing great, but I do want you know you're not alone",0.0558,positive,lonely
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,speaker,3,"I have, she would like to up my dose and add buspar.",0.3612,positive,apprehensive
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,listener_2,4,"Okay, that could help then. What country do you live in? Only cause I've realised mental health is treated pretty differently everywhere, I'm from the UK",0.7783,positive,questioning
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,speaker,5,"The U.S. unfortunately. My healthcare will be taken away soon because I recently got a job and will make over $15,000 per year. Meds cost almost $200 a month. Simply cant afford it.",-0.34,negative,devastated
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,listener_2,6,"I'm really sorry to hear that regarding your meds, Congratulations on the job though, that's something positive. Having a job can sometimes help me massively, unfortunately due to the fact I also have fibromyalgia, its a bit of a viscous cycle.  My point there being that I work, I'm currently not taking any meds for my mental health ( that definitely won't work for everyone ) but I can often feel a bit better whilst at work as it's a good distraction.",0.8675,positive,sympathizing
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,speaker,7,Absolutely and thankyou! Good luck with everything ❤,0.8923,positive,wishing
1002,MentalHealthSupport,Everytime before I go to sleep I think about suicide,listener_2,8,"Thank you, good luck to you too ❤",0.9118,positive,wishing
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,speaker,1,"I over talk sometimes. I have issues with anxiety and stage phobia. It's affecting my academic performance and making me depressed. I also feel embarrassed very easily. I have nightmares of someone tricking me into sexual acts. Many times I'm a pre teen or younger. I was molested by my bus driver for months so that could be it.   I don't have friends I feel comfortable being totally honest with I guess. I have amazing friends. They're supportive and fun. Very non judgemental. But this is my last year of high school and I guess I'm aware that we're going to drift apart. So I just don't bother opening up.   I haven't even come out as bisexual although I have a feeling they already know. I've provided them with emotional support. *I just can't get over this fear*. I can't talk to my parents either. I just don't feel like it's necessary to involve them. I'm also scared of their overreaction.    Bottling up all this for years has had side effects besides depressing episodes. I'm good at writing speeches and all. I haven't delivered one in 7 years. It didn't effect me much till I was 10-11. That's when my breast was groped while I was going to my tutor's. I remember never walking through that alley again. I was in shock, never told anyone. Just went and studied like I was in a zone. When I was walking back home, I almost got myself run over. Still have a scar on my thigh where some metal stabbed my leg.      I just couldn't tell. Don't know why. That's when I realized what that driver had done when I was 5. I became pretty much suicidal. I remember writing up a plan: I'll finish this school year with good grades, I'll stop getting into fights, loose weight, I'll jump off my building on my 12th birthday.    Guess I never did that but as I said, I have an overtalking problem. Just don't talk to people in close to. So I told a bunch of neighbors. Neighbors told my father. My father was furious. I never followed the plan. Kept postponing. I remember even going to rooftop on my 13th. Somehow didn't do it.    It slowly left me like some phase. I felt really better when I befriended my now best friends. I got an interest in politics. Intellectual debates and watching cricket were my favourite pass times.    I've been feeling very depressed last few months. So sad and can't study for my life. It was one of the things that helped me with depression. It's one of the signs that I'm very much more depressed than usual. I want to study. I need to. I have exams from Monday. The results will decide my future. One that I haven't been able to force myself to care bout.    This is too long sorry. I can't see a therapist.  Edit: I'm 17f",-0.9336,negative,ashamed
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,listener_1,2,"I wish I knew what else to say but I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through and are currently going through. I am in a bad place myself right now but hoping things will eventually get better. I can’t really see a therapist either. If you need someone to talk to, please let me know. I don’t really know what to say to help but I can listen and validate. Good luck on your exams.",0.9645,positive,sympathizing
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,speaker,3,"Thank you, just the feeling that it does get better is very helpful. I'm often angry at myself for being unable to talk, because I *know* they'll help me.",0.8122,positive,trusting
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,speaker,4,"I wrote some of the events, nothing too intense, but just about my relationship with my parents and some minor issues. It did help me feel a bit lighter.   It's just that this time is really valuable, I have a very important exam on Monday and can't bring myself to study.",0.8926,positive,content
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,listener_2,5,"Might sound a bit stupid, just sharing what works for me when I have one of my bad episodes but need to focus on a project: have you tried to go for physical exhaustion?   Whenever I have to deal with some deadlines, projects or even large decisions while I am unstable, I usually go for an intense run. I then cram as much as possible into the window known as ""runner's high"", when my brain is afloat in endorphins to mask physical exhaustion. I'll listen to music up to that point and then to a recording of myself listing key facts on what I'm working on.  This made me take a lot of good decisions and of course some bad ones too. I tend to remember stuff better when I'm in that state though.",-0.836,negative,prepared
1003,MentalHealthSupport,I can't talk to people close to me and overtalk to literal acquaintances,speaker,6,I'm going to give it a try! Thanks,0.4926,positive,hopeful
1004,MentalHealthSupport,Self esteem at an all time low,speaker,1,"I'm waiting on a potential autism diagnosis, I have fibromyalgia and diagnosed depression and anxiety.   I'm not in the slightest bit happy with where I am in my life, and I've now got to a point where I can barely look at myself in a mirror, let alone in photos or videos that other people take of me.  On top of that my fiance who I've been with for years can't stand having his photo taken, so in the 12 years we've been together I can literally count on my hand the number of times he's allowed me to take photos of us together which hasn't helped with my self esteem either.   We live miles apart because his anxiety is so bad he hasn't been able to work and I can't physically work enough to save up to move in together because of the fibro ( we've always lived far apart ) .  He's visiting this weekend and I'm really anxious about it, I've been struggling to get through the day recently and i don't want to ruin our time together but at the same time, I'm resentful about so much at the moment.   I feel stuck, I don't know what to do",-0.7974,negative,annoyed
1004,MentalHealthSupport,Self esteem at an all time low,listener_1,2,"I am so sorry. Having two people with mental health issues in a relationship is so hard and while our situations are different, I absolutely understand what it’s like to be with someone who has anxiety while also dealing with anxiety yourself. I am not happy with my place in life right now either. My husband of 10 years is currently going through so much anxiety and having panic attacks frequently and he lost his job yesterday because of it. I can feel you on the resentment front, because I had been resenting him for his unstable work history at one point last year before I came to the realization he has a panic disorder. Now I’m laying here holding him trying not to sob and wake him up. I’m so worried about him and our future.    I really hope you find peace soon and are able to enjoy your visit with your fiancé. I wish I had magic words to uplift you and help but I think most of us are here because we aren’t the best at coping. I just truly hope things start to improve for you and you can always respond to this post or try to message me to talk if you need to vent to a stranger. It weirdly helps sometimes.",0.9223,positive,agreeing
1004,MentalHealthSupport,Self esteem at an all time low,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your reply.  Sorry to hear about your situation with your husband, its just so difficult, you love them to pieces but can't help that bit of resentment too.  I feel like most people with mental health issues tend to attract people who also have mental health issues, I literally can't think of one friend who doesn't have problems with their mental health to some degree, but it seems to be the same with romantic relationships too.  He's here now, off to a decent start. I get so worked up so easily, especially recently.",0.9508,positive,sympathizing
1004,MentalHealthSupport,Self esteem at an all time low,speaker,4,"Hey, thank you for your reply.   I did start trying to keep a journal for those reasons, currently very on and off but your suggestion may be the kick up the bum that I need to keep to it more frequently.   It's hard for me to change much as I am completely trapped in my situation,  between the fibromyalgia and potential autism, my Fiance and my My Mum both living so far away, makes things really difficult. I am seeking professional help, its just taking a lot longer than the GP and I had hoped so fingers crossed I'll get somewhere with it in the next few months.  Thanks again for your reply",0.2084,positive,grateful
1004,MentalHealthSupport,Self esteem at an all time low,listener_2,5,Yeah I understand it's super difficult.  Just try to set your goals as small as possible so you can build off that.  I really hope you can get professional help soon!!!! If not I know a lot of private therapists offer reduced rates if you're struggling financially :),0.897,positive,agreeing
1005,MentalHealthSupport,I have never in my entire life been in so much mental anguish,speaker,1,"Watching the person I love more than anything on this earth basically turn into a different person the past two weeks because of his anxiety and panic attacks has truly been the most painful experience of my life. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager but watching my soulmate and best friend deal with what I have dealt with my whole life is EXTRA painful because I know exactly how he is feeling and I can’t do anything to stop it. I wish I could take it away and experience it for him. I would rather deal with it myself 1000 times over than have to see him in this much pain for even one more day. I am taking him to try and get help tomorrow but we are poor, in debt, he just lost his job because of his mental health, and I have never been able to hold a job because of mine. I truly hope they can help him because if they can’t I don’t know what to do. I gave him a Benadryl tonight so he could sleep since he couldn’t calm down and now I’m just laying up against his back and trying not to sob so loud I wake him up. I love him so much and I just need him to be okay.",0.9767,positive,sad
1005,MentalHealthSupport,I have never in my entire life been in so much mental anguish,listener_1,2,prayers to you and your partner,0.0,neutral,wishing
1005,MentalHealthSupport,I have never in my entire life been in so much mental anguish,speaker,3,Thank you so much. It means a lot.,0.3612,positive,wishing
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,speaker,1,"I have had death anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have had panic attacks for years over dying and it’s gotten to the point where as soon as I’m alone, the thoughts turn into real panic. Death is on my mind constantly and I can’t shut it off. I’ve never been to counseling because I’ve always been too scared and I don’t want them to tell me that I’m overreacting or that “everyone is afraid of death”, as I’ve been told a million times. So I’ve suffered from it without any real clear diagnosis from a mental health professional and I’ve not fixed it.  Because of this anxiety, I constantly worry about every health issue or infection you can think of. I’m taking a Human Biology course at college which I know was a huge mistake given my fears, and we recently started talking about the heart. I remember it being at least two weeks since I’ve started feeling a random tightening sensation in the middle of my chest that lasts for a couple of seconds on and off. Everyone has told me it’s just heart burn but I truly don’t think heart burn would be this constant for two weeks. I don’t want to go to the doctor because I’ve already went to the doctors 3 times in the span of 5 months and I don’t want to get a Hypochondriac reputation. I’m not sure if this sensation is only happening because of my anxiety creating the sensation, or if it actually exists, because when I don’t think about it I don’t feel anything and when I remember that I’ve been having this issue I feel it again. This has been causing me so much anxiety for the past couple weeks and I’ve been uninvolved with my studies because of it and I’m truly just sick of feeling this way anymore.  I’m sorry this is so long, thank you to whoever reads this.",-0.5206,negative,terrified
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_1,2, my anxiety comes from the exact same things so if u wanna chat with a mind that thinks alike hit me up. I always feel like its conforting to know that someone else feel the same way as u do urself. im here if u need me:),0.2023,positive,agreeing
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for that, I’m glad to not be alone and if you want to talk about it you can shoot me a message as well.",0.7383,positive,wishing
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_2,4,"My anxiety comes from worrying about suicide, even though I’ve never actually been suicidal (according to my therapist). Not to trivialize it, but it’s so cool to hear about other people having similar issues as mine.",0.4384,positive,jealous
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,speaker,5,"Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I am glad to see that you are taking steps to get help for it, but it’s also so nice to know that I’m not suffering alone so thank you for sharing this.",0.9726,positive,sympathizing
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_1,6,"Were not alone far from it,  but 99% of the time it feels like it and it can be soul crushing. I go around everyday thinking about heart problems and other bullshit but at the same knowing damn well theres nothing wrong with me haha.",0.5928,positive,lonely
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_2,7,You’re very welcome. The best defense against mental illness is to talk about it. You’ll be amazed how easy it is to manage and create a plan to treat it when you’re open about how you’re feeling.,0.9513,positive,questioning
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,speaker,8,"thank you so much for the recommendation, I really appreciate it!! who is the author? i just want to make sure I buy the right book!",0.8389,positive,acknowledging
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_3,9,"John Green, I also highly recommend a playlist of vlogbrothers videos about mental health, especially one called ""Perspective"" if you're interested in getting help or are on the fence about it (I know I was)",0.8016,positive,agreeing
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,speaker,10,"Ah I love the Green brothers and had no idea this existed! I genuinely appreciate the sources, thank you.",0.8172,positive,grateful
1006,MentalHealthSupport,I have death anxiety and I can’t tell if my latest health scare is real or not,listener_3,11,"No problem, best of luck in the future, I believe in you :)",0.598,positive,wishing
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,speaker,1,I have a loooong history of anxiety issues and also anorexia and this past year I’ve started having seizures and a week ago I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder and epilepsy. Since the seizures I’ve been too afraid to be alone so when my partner goes away for work (for two weeks of every month) I would go to my dads. My sister lives with my dad and has said that me being there is detrimental to her mental health and so now I can’t stay there. So my partner leaves this afternoon and I am staying in our rental with our housemate who is lovely but I am so terrified. I’m not even entirely sure what it is I’m most afraid of. I guess I just feel vulnerable and unsafe and my partner often feels like my only safety. I’ve got all my meals pre-prepared to make that part easier for me but I need some advice on how to feel calmer and safer.,0.6133,positive,terrified
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,listener_1,2,"Being in the present moment and being mindful of your space could be of help. I'm not sure if you're working with a counselor but maybe finding someone to help you cope could also be of service, especially when your partner isnt there.  Something I did was more so for people with ptsd but I think it could work for you too. My counselor made me listen to meditation music and draw my safe space. Where would I be, how does it look, what does it smell like, taste like, etc. I came up with a concept of rolling lavender hills, a small river with koi, a bridge draped with wisteria, and a weeping willow that provides me shade. I drew this and now whenever I feel anxious, I listen to similar music and imagine my happy place. I'm also tapping left and right which is EMDR, which you could try too! Meditation can be hard and awkward. For me I thought it had to be quieter, and it was very awkward. But meditation can almost be anything, as long as it brings you peace, joy, and isnt hurting you in anyway.   Anxiety can be a real pain and I'm very sorry you have to go thru it. But, the goal I think is to remain calm and maybe find something that you enjoy doing on your own too, especially to help pass the time. It could be reading, journaling, crafting/art, puzzles (It really helped when my husband was away for 3 days- I can anxious too with separation anxiety), and the list just goes on!   I hope this helps as far as advice and maybe some new techniques for you! We are always here to help provide support and I'm always available for DM throughout the 2 weeks if you need it!",0.9914,positive,suggesting
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for such a detailed response. Your safe space sounds lovely. I used to do a lot of guided visualisations on YouTube and they used to help me so I might try that again. I have a psychologist who I meet with ever week, unfortunately online because I live rural, but I will see her in two days.   I have done a little EMDR with two different therapists and I’m not sure if either they weren’t really onto it or if it wasn’t right for me. It’s definitely something I’m interested in looking at once I’ve stabilised my weight and gotten a handle on my neuro stuff.   When my partner first started working away I had uni to distract myself and that helped a lot, but I’m on break for the next two weeks which is poor timing. I’ve been trying to learn some digital drawing and my partner and I are also wanting to make a bit of a video on what we’ve been through this past year so I’ve got a little filming and editing I can do. These things generally keep my attention.   Thank you for your kindness and welcoming me to reach out.",0.935,positive,acknowledging
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,listener_1,4,"Oh yes EMDR was very weird for me the past few psychiatrist I've been with. My current counselor said that it doesnt even have to be tapping. So I hug myself and just stroke by thumbs on my shoulders but still do left to right. I told her how awkward tapping was and just sitting there... with my eyes closed... in silence. It's like it made my anxiety worse whenever I did it before her ideas of trying something less uncomfortable.   Also of course! I hope things help and good luck with the video and editing! If you post it, I'd love to see it! I've also thought of doing something like that. I called it ""Depression: The daily roller coaster and thrill of a lifetime"". I originally thought of just animating it but, I got lazy lol.",0.9664,positive,apprehensive
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,speaker,5,"Thank you. I will check out the link! I can’t really switch therapists at the moment. My therapist is good she’s just highly specialised in eating disorders and I’ve been told by the psychiatrist and a couple of different psychologists who refused to see me because they couldn’t manage the ed, that I would need to tackle that first. I can definitely talk to her about things but they always draw the focus back to the work I need to do in refeeding.  I’ve listened to a few things on changing my relationship with the anxiety. I’m glad it’s been so helpful for you, that’s very encouraging.  I feel pretty isolated honestly. I know I need to let people in but that’s a huge thing that I struggle with so while I want to and can see the benefit, for both my partner and I, in engaging more with others, it’s one of the hardest things for me to do.",0.9854,positive,trusting
1007,MentalHealthSupport,Advice for coping without my partner,listener_2,6,"I totally get that. It’s so hard to let people in. Just take it one little step at a time and honour your body and energy throughout. That was part of what was hard for me in letting people in, you have to kind of educated them at the same time so it takes so much out of you.   It sounds like although this is overwhelming and isolating for you, that you’re really putting the effort in to get better (even if it doesn’t feel that way to you).",0.8374,positive,agreeing
1008,MentalHealthSupport,Just need some support,speaker,1,"Honestly, any words of support and positivity would help. Whenever I talk about what I'm going through with my loved ones, I just feel invisible because I'm the one expected to have it together all the time. But i just feel like I'm crumbling. I have a hard time reaching out for help because of that, and I just feel like I'm a burden or like my problems are not legit. Idk. Thanks for reading.",0.9029,positive,grateful
1008,MentalHealthSupport,Just need some support,listener_1,2,"I know that feeling all too well!  First of all I'm sorry you're going thru this and I hope what I say can help in anyway possible. We are always here to support those in need.  As far as feeling like you have to have it all together, I feel everyone goes thru this once in their life. Whether your 18 and going to uni or you're 50 and had a nasty divorce, things and some people can make you feel like you just dont have control over your life. But, this is very incorrect.  I took a sabbatical from social media to figure this out. I'm a 24f, married and no kids and a uni drop out. Whenever I'd go online, I'd see my High School classmates graduating with their BA or MBA, having kids, buying a house, etc. But the suprising fact is, my own path is my own. I decide when I'm ready for my next goal, career step, etc. Same goes for you! It's ok to not be where others are. Everyone has a path but every path is different. It's really ok to be ""behind"" or not be where you even want to be. Changes come when you're ready and think it's time. If it's not time, dont force it.",0.9309,positive,caring
1008,MentalHealthSupport,Just need some support,speaker,3,"Thanks so much for this! I obviously don't like to hear that other people can relate to my experience, but It's comforting to know I'm not alone and that other people are out there to validate my emotions. So thank you again for not only taking the time to read this but also responding. It means so much.",0.932,positive,grateful
1009,MentalHealthSupport,i fucking hate my parents,speaker,1,"i know how childish this sounds but they keep fucking ignoring my mental problems and only bring more. im always raging at games and overall im fucking brainless and yet they only make matters worse. id give anything to meet with a conseulor. anything besides probably money cause my parents are greedy when it comes to this yet they buy me shit like food. i just cant take them anymore. i cant live like this. my future IS FUCKED. WHO WILL TAKE ME ON A JOB WITH MY FUCKING NERVES. i cannot afford any online conseulor services and i dont know if anyone would be fine with me swearing cause this is the only way i can actually express my feelings. Yes, Im THAT BRAINDEAD.",-0.9887,negative,furious
1009,MentalHealthSupport,i fucking hate my parents,speaker,2,Theyre just preventing me from using my pc now and i want to fall off a skyscrapper,0.0516,positive,annoyed
1009,MentalHealthSupport,i fucking hate my parents,speaker,3,i wish i had better parents that didnt treat me like shit even when im raging and stuff.,-0.6973,negative,neutral
1009,MentalHealthSupport,i fucking hate my parents,speaker,4,"wrong, i dont live in the US",-0.4767,negative,agreeing
1010,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else tired of trying so hard but going nowhere?,speaker,1,"I have this word I use about the state of my life a lot. I say I'm ""recalibrating"".  What I mean by that is that I'm trying to reset the crumbled foundations and build again. Treat my friendships like they're new; trying to find out new things and shared interests and always making time for hanging out. Trying to find new joy in my job, or find a new job that I can take value from. Trying to move on from my body's instinctive yet incorrect decisions about who to love. Trying to reassess my opinion of myself.  I'm really trying to recalibrate, make myself appreciate what I have and figure out a new way to  go from here onwards. I'm desperate to not to succumb to my life always being how it is and my mind always working how it is.  And yet. I can't.  There is no ""recalibrate"" button. There's no factory reset, no insert coin to retry. I'm sort of stuck with this being my lot.  Just because I want to breathe life anew into my friendships doesn't mean I've not overburdened those who were willing to help. Just because I tell myself I need a new emphasis in my career doesn't mean I'm deserving, and doesn't motivate me to find new opportunity. Just because I tell my brain its relationship pursuits won't work out, doesn't mean I can think about them any less. Just because I tell myself I have value doesn't mean my opinion changes.  I am trying so, so hard. I don't want to always be a person who never found out how to live with depression. I don't want to feel like I'm underappreciating what I have. But I just. Can't. Shake. This. Off.  I'm not at the lowest I've ever been. But I'm tired and downtrodden and though it's not like I'm drowning, it's like I can never quite get a full breath. The air is thinner here.  I can't recalibrate.",0.8987,positive,hopeful
1010,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else tired of trying so hard but going nowhere?,listener_1,2,"You’re doing the best you can with where you are, and you’re doing great.",0.8519,positive,neutral
1010,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else tired of trying so hard but going nowhere?,speaker,3,What do you mean by integrare in this context?,0.0,neutral,questioning
1010,MentalHealthSupport,Anyone else tired of trying so hard but going nowhere?,listener_2,4,"Well I'm no expert by any means but your story reminded me of an old friend.  He was born 3 months to early and spine is litteraly in a S-shape. He is in severe pain all the time and knows he will die way before all of us. He told me once he hates 'accepting' things he can't change. Instead he integrates the things he can't change. Unfortunately the conversation was a long time ago so I can't recall exactly how he did this.  It's partly recognizing that things aren't the way you want them to be. And that is okay. Nobody is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect life.  He also tried really hard to look at bright sight. He saw that he is an unique position to encourage and support others who are like him. He even got some national TV interviews and he is sometimes in media for speeches he gives on living with a condition like this.  He never accepted it, nor tried to change it. He gave his suffering a place of recognition, compassion and didn't try to fight it.",0.9681,positive,impressed
1011,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health is so shit,speaker,1,"I had to ask my bf for.space from our relationship and I feel guilty but I'm just unable to take care of myself lately. My apartment is a huge mess, I sleep almost all day after studying. Aside from doing dishes and waking up on time for school I've just been lethargic and unhappy.",-0.5267,negative,guilty
1011,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health is so shit,listener_1,2,"I have felt the same way and I don't know if this is the case for you, but for me I've given up on myself so when I've wanted space it is because I don't want to drag him down with me and that has been the strongest motivation for me to get help. I'm starting therapy in a week and it's terrifying. There have been times when I have had internal battles to ask my bf for space but he brings me back to reality when I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. He makes my little wins (I showered for the first time in like ten days yesterday and I ate two meals) feel like big wins and insists that they are big wins. I'm not saying this to be like ""wow omg my bf is great lol"", what I'm trying to say is that at least for me, when I want space, I might not need space. Also, please seek help, I believe in you :)",0.9958,positive,lonely
1011,MentalHealthSupport,Mental health is so shit,listener_1,3,"Before wanting to push him away, I journaled that I was afraid that I would push him away when I needed him most and when I would feel urges to push him away, I would think about that and at the moment, it sucked and my feelings were everywhere but upon reflection, not pushing him away helped me because I could see how it affected him and how that stressed him out and then I had a thought ""if these thoughts are doing this to him when he doesn't know like all of them, imagine what they're doing to you (me)""",-0.8255,negative,sentimental
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,1,"Hi,  I wanted to post a roast me, but in stead, I'm posting a ""save me"" to proactively help myself.  I've been finding it really hard recently to hold on to reasons to stay alive. There are many, but they just don't seem to matter anymore.  I've thought about suicide a lot recently, but I'm not brave enough yet to go through with it. There is a big part of me that wants to be alive and be happy, but my mental health is very poor right now.  If you could give me reasons, or share your stories of coming out of a dark place, I would really appreciate it.  Thank you  Els",0.9257,positive,apprehensive
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_1,2,"My first suicide attempt was at 15 after being suicidal for seven years. Everyone kept telling me to hang on because you never know what's around the corner. I didn't believe them because my life was hell with no way out. Experienced all kinds of horrors that left me with DID and PTSD.  Tried to kill myself via overdose of opiates in early 2017. Was in hospital being told there's always something to live for and called bullshit on it all. Looked for a way onto the roof to jump off but all exits up there were solidly locked. Found out I was 11 weeks pregnant two weeks later.  Fast forward almost three years and I'm currently holding my youngest. My oldest (now two years) is in bed asleep.  So yeah, I still get depressed but now I remember that I nearly missed out on my dream because I couldn't hold on for two more weeks.",-0.9473,negative,terrified
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,3,"I'm diagnosed as Borderline, which already makes it difficult to regulate my emotions. I'm currently facing a possible eviction and I've recently found I'm not well enough to return to work which makes me feel even worse. I am not in a good place.",-0.8961,negative,sad
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_2,4,Yikes.  So accommodation and income uncertainty at the same time?    You said possible eviction - can you say more about what would have to happen to avoid it?,-0.7882,negative,questioning
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,5,I'd have to magically conjure up money to pay the rent on time,-0.1027,negative,hopeful
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_2,6,"Sounds like you don't have people in your life who could/would help you out with that, then....?",0.6369,positive,questioning
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,7,"No, i don't. And the debt I'm already in is crazy.",-0.0747,negative,agreeing
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_2,8,That's rough.    Is the money situation your biggest source of stress at present?,-0.4215,negative,questioning
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,9,"Yeah, it is",0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_2,10,There's a lot of stuff that it would help me to know but that you might not be comfortable posting - would you be okay with messaging the mod team over at /r/SuicideWatch?  Of course you're welcome to post there also if you wish.,0.8018,positive,questioning
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,speaker,11,I'm new to Reddit. How do I message them?,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
1012,MentalHealthSupport,#ReasonsToLive,listener_2,12,"Depends which app you're using, but when you visit any subreddit, there should be a ""contact the moderators"" function available somewhere. In the official reddit apps it's on the main top-left menu when you're on a subreddit's page.  Or you can address a PM to the subreddit, e.g. put /r/SuicideWatch in the To box.    It would help me to know where you're located and what you've tried so far to raise the cash or otherwise get accommodation assistance.   But I wouldn't recommend posting your location - reddit is wide open to trolls and predators.  Anonymity is a mixed blessing.",0.7339,positive,questioning
1013,MentalHealthSupport,How do i control my emotions,speaker,1,"i know i know asking myself questions and stuff but i always fail on the question ""can you let your emotions go?"" cause its always a BIG FAT SPACED-OUT HIGHLIGHTED NO  i think ill never grow up and at adult age i might probably be taken to a mental auslym cause of not being able to behave  at least thats what my parents told me  and now i swear to fucking god if someone is checking my post history from my previous post (not the one from this sub) i fucking swear if you use this against me you arent making yourself a favour.  i dont want people to witchhunt me from other posts please  its impossible for me to control my emotions. breathing deeply makes me sleepy, throwing away everything and going to the bed makes my parents mad and then a new conflict starts  this sub still made me feel like shit sometimes when i didnt get a response that i felt i deserved. (yes i just need someone who can understand me all the time and support me in the long run)",-0.8240000000000001,negative,agreeing
1013,MentalHealthSupport,How do i control my emotions,listener_1,2,"I understand ya, you wanna control your emotions and i can see where its coming from and youre not going to an asylum for misbehaving ofc not, thats not how things work, your parents just aremt really good at parenting, no offense.. Still youre not worthless and you should try the best you can, i have a trick up my sleeve yo help me seperate myself from hatefull or embarrassing things, i just say 'disattachment'? In my head and i have to legally disattach myself from that thought and it works great but you shouldnt do that with feelings you feel like itll flood or come out so just open up to someone you trust highly, i wish you the best in life and if you ever wanna then, Maybe we can chat?",0.9787,positive,agreeing
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",speaker,1,"Mental Health has never been better, but my weight is becoming a serious issue. I have gained like 40 lbs on top of already being over weight. I know that this weight is from meds. So I find myself at a crossroads. Do I sacrifice my mental health to lose weight or do I sacrifice my general health to continue my good mental health? Also, is there someway to find a balance? I have been on prescription meds for 9 years. Nothing I’ve tried has worked this amazingly for me. But I’ve also never been more obese in my entire life.",0.8104,positive,apprehensive
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",listener_1,2,"Don’t sacrifice your mental health for this. What I’d recommend is a lot of exercise. Not only can it help with weight, it does wonders for your mental health as well",0.743,positive,agreeing
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",speaker,3,I’ll have to try that! I do a lot at work so I’ll have to try to do something afterwards as well,0.3382,positive,neutral
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",speaker,4,"It does, doesn’t it?!",0.0,neutral,questioning
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",listener_2,5,"I hope you can find a solution to your problems, my friend. No one deserves to live their life unhappy",0.1779,positive,consoling
1014,MentalHealthSupport,"Mental Health has never been better, but...",speaker,6,Thank you. I hope so too.,0.6597,positive,encouraging
1015,MentalHealthSupport,You know the funny thing about depression,speaker,1,"You don’t even have to pack it when you travel, it comes with you anyway!",0.0,neutral,questioning
1015,MentalHealthSupport,You know the funny thing about depression,listener_1,2,The heaviest baggage you don't have to pay extra for?,0.0762,positive,questioning
1015,MentalHealthSupport,You know the funny thing about depression,speaker,3,"Yep! It’s like, hey, we haven’t taken a vacation in years.. isn’t it great! We can sleep here and you can list your paranoia & work on new ways to feel anxious.   Dear journal I woke up in Barcelona, Spain  I was thinking about taking a walk  But staying in bed here is way better!  My partner aka depression said-  “Dont worry, you can see the city as we head back to the airport!”",-0.5451,negative,excited
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,speaker,1,"Hi :) just curious if anyone else has had similar issues with absolute exhaustion. I have to take naps just to stay awake for the second part of the day, and even then I can’t focus because I’m so drained. My diet has been really good lately: lots of greens, fruits, barely any bread (I thought that might be the reason, but cutting it out completely for a couple weeks made no difference), and lots of water. I’ve even tried taking cold showers to wake me up. I only have one large coffee, and then green tea until about 5pm. I started using natural energy pills (ashwagandha) which helped a little, but not enough. I also take multi vitamins with enough B and D vitamins. I exercise: I walk daily and yoga 4-5 times/week. I got blood work done last summer and apparently it’s normal. I went and talked to a therapist last month who said meditation might help, but it has not. All I want to do is sleep. I can barely focus on school. I know I’m stressed (from school), but I usually cope well? I’m not like crying all the time (sometimes though), but I’m in such a fog that I can’t seem to get out of. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any recommendations?",0.8019,positive,lonely
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,listener_1,2,Haven you had your blood sugar checked lately?,0.0,neutral,questioning
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,speaker,3,I have not. How do I do that?,0.0,neutral,embarrassed
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,listener_1,4,"A pharmacy may be able to, but any diabetic friend can do it for you and it is very simple to do. Takes about 30 seconds. Best to be done first thing in the AM, after you urinate and before any food or water for an accurate reading.",0.9022,positive,prepared
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,speaker,5,"Thank you! I don’t know anyone with diabetes that lives near me, but I’ll head over to the pharmacy. Thanks!",0.7339,positive,grateful
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,listener_1,6,A pharmacy can at least point you in the right direction,0.0,neutral,acknowledging
1016,MentalHealthSupport,Exhaustion,speaker,7,Probably! It never crossed my mind to ask a pharmacist.,0.0,neutral,suggesting
1017,MentalHealthSupport,So depressed that I cannot even shower,speaker,1,Have been in this situation?,0.0,neutral,questioning
1017,MentalHealthSupport,So depressed that I cannot even shower,listener_1,2,same,0.0,neutral,agreeing
1017,MentalHealthSupport,So depressed that I cannot even shower,speaker,3,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
1017,MentalHealthSupport,So depressed that I cannot even shower,speaker,4,I will get some wipes.,0.0,neutral,prepared
1018,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Function On Fluoxetine,speaker,1,"I've been in a depression for coming onto eight months now after being taken off Citalopram and Quetiapine after ten years. (I was mentally stable on these meds but they were having an impact on my heart.) I've been on 60mg of Fluoxetine for about four of those months, and 15mg of Aripiprazole. My general ability to do stuff i.e. get out of bed, take a shower, make some food has improved in recent months, but I can't concentrate, my memory is appalling and my imagination is dead. Even writing this post is difficult beyond belief. I'm a writer who has always used writing as a way of coping with ill mental health, but for the first time in my life, I've been abandoned by my creativity. I used to write thousands of words a day and I'm struggling even to get these words down. I'm confused, angry and unable to see a way forward. Has anyone else experienced lack of concentration/creativity and a poor memory on this medication? Does it improve?",-0.9653,negative,sad
1018,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Function On Fluoxetine,listener_1,2,"I'm also a writer (or trying to be) and medication definitely affected my memory and concentration. I've tried fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, olanzapine and recently came off Venlafaxine and i definitely feel worse but i am more productive creatively...when i'm not bedridden at least.  On the meds i was more stable but spent 6 years doing nothing with my life besides ""getting by."" It was a double-edged sword because the lack of focus stops you dwelling on darker thoughts but also stops you  concentrating on things you want to do.   I can't honestly say which is the better way to be. I wish i knew. All meds affect different people differently so perhaps the creativity will improve and return but it didn't for me.  I suppose you need to discern the priority for you at present, between your mental stability and creative productivity. If you have a decent doctor you can approach with these concerns, that might help. From what i've heard this is fairly common for people in creative professions.   Hope you find your way. All the best.",0.9874,positive,lonely
1018,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Function On Fluoxetine,speaker,3,"Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing your experience. I've been feeling suicidal today, but to know someone hears me...it helps. I'm waiting to see if my cardiologist will give me the OK to go back on citalopram. If he doesn't, then the plan B is to try mirtazapine.",0.8151,positive,grateful
1018,MentalHealthSupport,Can't Function On Fluoxetine,speaker,4,"I'm so glad you've found a balance, it gives me hope.",0.7346,positive,grateful
1019,MentalHealthSupport,im scared that my therapist can't help me,speaker,1,"Hi i'm CJ ,I'm 15 to 16 years old and i'm worrying about my mental health,i'm scared that my mental health is gonna be worse, i'm also scared that my therapist wont help me and i will be sent to a mental hospital.  My mental health is already bad, i have anxiety and a sleeping disorder (and maybe depression too)  ​  WTF is happening to me!?",-0.9817,negative,afraid
1019,MentalHealthSupport,im scared that my therapist can't help me,listener_1,2,"Hi buddy, your therapist will only send you if they believe that you are a threat to yourself or others and I think you sound pretty stable so I don't believe that your therapist will do this. I will comment more later, right now I can't elaborate much but later I will explain more when I can organize my thoughts better",0.6542,positive,trusting
1019,MentalHealthSupport,im scared that my therapist can't help me,speaker,3,Thanks,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
1019,MentalHealthSupport,im scared that my therapist can't help me,speaker,4,thanks bro,0.4404,positive,wishing
1019,MentalHealthSupport,im scared that my therapist can't help me,listener_2,5,"Not a problem, just lemme know if there's anything else I can help with.",0.607,positive,suggesting
1020,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me name this feeling?,speaker,1,"My marriage is breaking down and I am having a hard time coping. This has all come to light in the past week. I was holding it together up until last night because I had a midterm at school to distract me. At the end of the midterm I started to feel the panic seeping in. I have never felt this way before, I have always had full control of myself. I kept getting hit by these waves of emotions, I would feel anxious and like I was about to start sobbing, I sat in the hallway with my head in my hands just waiting for this to pass, it was such an overwhelming feeling. My heart was beating so fast and my stomach had these massive knots causing me so much pain. I felt like I was going to vomit. The whole experience was anguishing.  Was I having a panic attack?",-0.9475,negative,anxious
1020,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me name this feeling?,listener_1,2,"It sounds like a panic attack, which sounds like an understandable reaction to your situation. I'd consider discussing it with a doctor sooner rather than later. You could also look into meditation and breathing exercises to prevent and manage it if it happens again. Also, try and identify what physical and mental conditions may have triggered it, so you can predict or prevent it happening again.",-0.29600000000000004,negative,acknowledging
1020,MentalHealthSupport,Can you help me name this feeling?,speaker,3,"Thank you, I just always associated panic attacks with not being able to catch your breath. Always picture someone breathing into a paper bag.   Good to know, thanks again.",0.2732,positive,sympathizing
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,speaker,1,I would be sitting on my phone and suddenly notice that my body is rocking its self back and forth slowly.Its been like this for years but I’m curious to know why and how can I stop that from happening,0.2263,positive,surprised
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,listener_1,2,"It’s an anxiety coping mechanism, a friend of mine has done this her whole life.   Or it might not even be anxiety, it may just be satisfying to you. Kinda like biting your nails.   Just a habit. I used to rock myself, not side to side, but forwards & back kinda like if I was sitting in a rocking chair.   You don’t have to stop if you don’t want to, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to. It may be necessary to your own personal needs. ❤️ xoxo",0.9303,positive,content
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,speaker,3,Yeah it’s definitely my anxiety.Thank you so much for replying and for not making me feel weird about it ❤️,0.4939,positive,agreeing
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,listener_1,4,"No problem at all, and it’s not weird at all. It’s you. ❤️ sometimes we just do things cause they’re soothing.. 😌",0.7701,positive,neutral
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,speaker,5,The thing is that I don’t find it soothing or a way to release stress. I’m definitely gonna read about “stimming”tho Thank you 🤍,0.5719,positive,agreeing
1021,MentalHealthSupport,Why is my body rocking back and forth,speaker,6,Interesting,0.4019,positive,acknowledging
1022,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on my story - Depression,speaker,1,"This is my first ever post - please move to relevant thread if this is not right.  So below is what I’ve started to write about my life. I started it as a way to deal with the things going on in my head. I’m 33 years old and recently stopped smoking weed (please be patient with me here) I have gone through spits and spats of smoking weed. Some times longer than others. I always tell myself I can deal control this just one a day. Just to help you drift off to sleep, but inevitably it turns into a habit to the point where I’m smoking pretty much an ounce a month. I’m a postman so I end up with quite a bit of spare time, where friends are still at work when I finish.... So I smoke to fill the long afternoons at home alone with my dog because I don’t want to spend all day down rabbit holes with my thoughts. So now nearly after nearly a year of solidly smoking every day without fail, I’ve finally decided I need to face my demons and try and sort my mental health out. I’ve joined the gym, I’m learning to play the harmonica and also looking to start a podcast with a close friend. Oh and stopped smoking weed. The withdrawals are horrible but that for another thread!  I’m suffering from what is called child hood trauma. Below is the beginning of me blogging, logging, story telling I’m not sure quite what you would call it, but it’s me stating facts about what has contributed to this mental state I’m now in. It’s not very long and as it’s been extremely tough to write and relive in my head, but has helped me to start thinking about entertaining the idea of dealing with my inner demons.   Kind redditers, I would like some advice/feedback/help on whether people think by me telling my story would help others? Is it the best thing for me to do? Also the best way to go about writing this in a format that’s organised and reader friendly. As you can tell I’m no story writer, my language/writing ability isn’t very high. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.   It’s taken me a lot to share this so please, please be kind or say nothing at all, no doubt I’ll spend another half hour hovering over the post button.   ——————————————————————-  Me, Myself and these voices (not actual voices, its me) in my head. 
 Its time I start being honest with everyone, but most importantly with myself. I must before I hit the self-destruct button.
 I have dealt with depression for most of my life, not very well either I would like to add.
 I can’t support a relationship, I suffer from trust issues, jealously or take people for granted. I’m now 33 years old, have been single for 6 years through fear of not being good enough for whoever is unlucky enough to fall me. 
 It all started when I was 10 years old (or so I believe although my childhood before this point was never completely stable). My dad left our family, leaving my mum to raise two boys (this is how the picture was painted). I stepped up to the best of my ability to support my mum, who spent countless nights on the phone to her parents seeking the support that me and brother needed from her. We would come home from school and mum would just be a mess. Now I don’t know what it feels like to be with someone for a such a long time to then one day not have them, but what I do know is you don’t abandon your responsibilities as a parent. She could still function as human as in cook, clean, cloth us and bathe us, but it never felt the same since that day. Almost resentment, looking back now it felt as if me and my brother were pawns in the most sadistic game of chess ever played in my eyes. What I later realised (very late on in my life) the relationship of Mother and Son was no more. 
 Now at this point in my life, I’ve just completed my SAT’s in primary school, getting ready for my first big transition in life to secondary school. A daunting time for any child. 
 My first two years at secondary school was absolute hell, I would go to school in the morning kicking and screaming, not wanting to leave my mum. I would get to school and go straight the MI room (school nurse) break down in tears and refuse to go to class because I couldn’t accept my parents splitting.  I would starve myself every day, refusing to eat lunch. I would be in class and just break down crying (hysterical at times). This of course made me an easy target and eventually led to later in my school life being bullied. 
 
 *My recollection of events may not represent the right timeline*
 
 Whilst school life was not going so well, home life wasn’t much better. I am struggling to remember everything about this time in my life, I’m pretty sure my brain has shutdown big parts of my childhood to protect myself. 
 As I previously stated, my brother and I were being used as weapons against my dad. My mum would guilt us into not wanting to spend time with our dad, poisoning our minds against him. Of course, we were young and easy to manipulate. We thought we are supporting our mum, because Dad left us not the other way around. Now my dad was no knight in shining armour during this time, he would pick us up, drive us two minutes up the road and question us about what my mum was up to. He was seeing someone. She was soon to be dubbed the SLUT by my mum. We couldn’t call her by her name in front of my mum.",0.9945,positive,content
1022,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on my story - Depression,listener_1,2,"Hey, thanks for sharing. Talking about trauma is always a big and scary step and I'm proud of you and grateful that you're willing to trust us strangers with such intimate and tough parts of your life.  If writing it out helps, I say keep doing it. I've done it before and it was a great release for me, and who knows? Maybe reading this will help some people start seeking help or reflecting too. I know reading about and hearing about others' struggles helped me greatly and feel not alone. So, yeah, thanks, OP, and I wish you the best.",0.9795,positive,trusting
1022,MentalHealthSupport,Advice on my story - Depression,speaker,3,Thank you for your kind words.,0.7096,positive,wishing
1023,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I feel empty inside?,speaker,1,I've been having this weird feeling like there's a hole in me and it's bothering me so much and I can't talk to anyone about it. What should I do?,-0.1217,negative,lonely
1023,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I feel empty inside?,listener_1,2,"Although I do suggest talking to a counselor or a friend about this feeling, sometimes it could mean that something is missing or you're anticipating something to move forward. This is just based on my personal experience however.  Whenever I feel empty, other than from any diagnosis I have causing it, means to me that I'm not accomplishing something or I'm not where I want to be in some aspect in my life. For me it's mostly associated with my career. I'm a janitor with an Associates in Criminal Justice and my passion is art. So, I'm missing out on being able to use my skills in my current position.   So with this in mind, maybe reach out in some places of yourself you haven't visited yet. See if you need to make a small change to help fill the hole! Eating healthy, exercising, trying a new hobby, finding a new job (provided your a working adult), etc.",0.7947,positive,sad
1023,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I feel empty inside?,speaker,3, thank you for the good advice. I'll definently keep this in mind.,0.6597,positive,agreeing
1023,MentalHealthSupport,Why do I feel empty inside?,speaker,4,Ok I'll try that. Thank you.,0.5719,positive,acknowledging
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,speaker,1,"I don't know what to do.  I was diagnosed as clinically depressed at 13, I'm not 27. Over the years I have tried multiple antidepressants including Fluoxetine, Citalopram, Sertraline, Mirtazapine and amitriptyline, none have worked so I'm currentlyon nothing. I've also tried counselling, cbt and I was supposed to be put onto a waiting list to see a psychologist but an inbetweeners therapist told me my problems were all just circumstantial so that didn't happen.  Last year after my Mum found an article that sounded like it was written about me, it came to light that I may actually have undiagnosed autism.  So I think it was June last year I went to my GP initially about the autism, she referred me to the family psychologist and also after a couple of appointments and two blood tests, diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.   Since being referred the Family psychologist group have been useless, I didn't end up having an initial assessment til December 9th last year, that was just to see if I were on the correct referral path. I asked her roughly how long it can take for a diagnosis and she told me around 12 months.  I didn't get a letter from them til the beginning of Feb to basically ask my permission to continue with my referral, I opted in and had to chase them up to check they recieved my response as there was a deadline on it.  Hadn't heard anything about another appointment so called them today to find out what is going on, they told me that I can expect my next appointment ( not diagnosis, just another appointment ) to happen in around 10 to 12 months.  I'm absolutely gutted, they said the only way I can get bumped up the waiting list is if my circumstances change ( I become jobless or at risk of homelessness ).  I just don't understand, if I'm autistic, I've had this for 27 years, undiagnosed, there was help I could've received , help that could've changed my life, my outcome.   At 27, I live in a houseshare, am in a job where staff all get bullied by a manager we can't report as theres no real HR department ( there is a sort or HR but they're all really close with shop managers ) my Mum and fiance both live in different parts of the country and I have no real support here.  I feel like I'm wasting my life, like I'm wasting away, unable to do things that I want to do, I feel stuck.  I've literally tried to do everything I physically can to help with the fibro and to chase this up but there is literally nothing left that I can do.  What am i supposed to do? My life has no value, no real purpose.  I can't even motivate myself to do anything that i enjoy, i have an Etsy shop and can't even force myself to get on with that.  I need help and theres nowhere for me to go.",-0.8436,negative,devastated
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,listener_1,2,Can you go back to your GP and tell them about  the long turnaround time with the psych and that it’s adding more stress and anxiety to what you’re already dealing with? Tell them that the wait for an appt is unreasonable and unrealistic. Ask if they can refer you to someone else? Hope something works and that you get the help you need.,0.2271,positive,questioning
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,speaker,3,I'm going to have to go back to the GP for help but there are no other options in terms of getting a diagnosis.,-0.2382,negative,apprehensive
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,speaker,4,"In an ideal world, I would do exactly that, that is all I want.  Because of the fibromyalgia I can't work more than 25 hours a week, on those hours in the UK I can't afford anywhere on my own, I can only just afford a room to rent in the house I'm in.  I appreciate the suggestion though.",0.7506,positive,grateful
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,listener_2,5,I am sorry to hear that 😕. How much rent can you afford?,-0.3818,negative,sympathizing
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Feel like my life is worth nothing,speaker,6,"I pay £425 a month at the moment, that includes bills. For a house I'd be looking at double that or more when you put a mortgage and bills together, I'm not even sure I'd be able to get a mortgage, I definitely couldn't afford rent for a house plus bills.   It's just completely crappy and I'm stuck here",-0.6762,negative,sad
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_3,1,"I have been dealing with a generalised anxiety disorder and dysthimia (mood disorder) for years. I am currently at the beginning of a depressive phase that often lasts a few months. During this phase, suicide seems to be the only option I have left to stop the suffering. I need help to get through this, I'd like to have something to hold on to when I'm at the deepest. Help me please",-0.8519,negative,lonely
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_4,2,"The online community can only be there for you to an extent, would you have an IRL support system of people, therapist and stuff? Hugs from here though!  Also, although it is really hard in these dark moments of life, I like to look at the sky and beautiful things. I like to remember that if I go on into the unknown (death) I won’t be able to experience these beautiful things anymore. It may be nothingness forever. So I feel strengthened to keep fighting forward. Mental illness is a bitch, we can’t let it win!",0.911,positive,wishing
1024,MentalHealthSupport,Need help,listener_3,3,"Thank you a lot <3  Yes, I follow a therapy and i am on medication. You're right, we cant' let mental illness win",0.8822,positive,wishing
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,speaker,1,"idk what i expect from this, i think i would just like to hear how u guys have made it out, if so  and maybe a word of encouragement that it is, indeed, worth to fight  thx in advance    years went by without me doing REALLY anything about my mental state. in the last few months/year, i have let it gotten really bad. although i managed to get better for some time in between, i couldn’t kept it up for longer than a month or two. i have developed some serious issues and with  each day it gets harder to cope with life.  atm i have no job, isolated myself from friends and family, i lack hygiene and haven’t left my home for months? i constantly forget what day or time it is. i escape into binging movies and series for days because the world and people in them are so different from mine.  besides the fact i have basically no reason at all to feel the way i do, the worst part about all this is, for the most part i know what my issues are and theoretically i should/ could overcome them.  i have SOMEHOW still people in my life that care for me and want me to be better but i can’t tell them what it is, that forces me to act the way i do.  they can’t understand why i am this way because i am not able to communicate it to them..  a few months back my father straight up asked me to tell him what it is,that weighs so heavily upon me and i broke down and cried. even then i could only say ‘i’m unhappy’  he researched a ton of psychologist, therapists etc.  in order for me to get better i only have to pick up the phone and call one of them.  but even now, months later i still couldn’t bring up the power to do so. i’m scared i’ll never be i wasted so much time  my cousin killed his self a week ago and my parents are scared, i can hear it in their voices.  all this years i always felt depressed and had anxiety but not once i had a thought of self harm or suicide. since i turned 22 in october each day i consider it more and more to be an easy way out  but i still couldn’t do it because my family and friends they simply don’t deserve that but lately i’ve been thinking they don’t deserve to be burdened with my energy seeking presence aswell and it really scares me",-0.9832,negative,suggesting
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,listener_1,2,"If you feel you’ve wasted too much time, I can tell you right now you haven’t. Ofc I’m a teenager (17) so I haven’t wasted my time but at age 15 and 16 I seriaouly felt my life was over and wasted too much time, and wouldn’t have any time to ‘have fun’ or to fix my life. I realized that through just living for the next day, by living today, that I was so so so wrong. You have all the time in the world, but I can tell you one thing, cynically albeit: you’ll have all the time in the world if you MAKE USE OF IT! Set goals, set rewards for those goals, and give yourself motivation to do the things that worry you and build yourself back up, pebble by pebble is brick by brick when it comes to mental health and feeling like time is running out  The sands of time tick on, inevitably. Whether your feel you’re lagging behind or not, start now! Not tomorrow, count to five, and write a list of things to do to prepare yourself for tomorrow!  All advice credited more or less to the great and powerful Dr Jordan Peterson (and me too hehe). Be safe, be healthy, I hope this has helped you on your way :)",0.9589,positive,grateful
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,speaker,3,"i appreciate your advice and will try to set goals with rewards. i’m gonna look up dr jordan peterson and his view on mental health, maybe i can grab some useful techniques  thx for taking the time and answering so kindly, i hope u will continue to make the most out of every day to come! good luck",0.9741,positive,encouraging
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,speaker,4,"i hesitated sharing this, but seriously thank u for answering.. i’ll try it once again with small steps, hopefully i can stick long enough to build good habits!  i can see u being a caring parent from how u write, i’m sure your time will come!",0.9564,positive,encouraging
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,speaker,5,"i can’t help but repeatedly fall back into those awful thinking patterns, to reminisce about unnecessary things in the past and over analyzing dumb shit. although i know those events or conversations doesn’t matter, i still can’t stop it. i’ll eventually find a way to stop this way of thinking or not even let it happen in the first place, but until then i will take your advice to heart and try to do the shit i never did but always wanted to.. thank u for your reply, it means a lot",-0.34,negative,neutral
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,listener_1,6,"Ditto ditto, JBP is a really good professor for realizing confidence and combatting chaos, he helped me quite a bit and I’m sure he will help you :)",0.8687,positive,neutral
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,listener_2,7,"I’m rooting for you!! So glad you reached out because you deserve to be heard.  And if you do try something out, I’m sure the people who love you would celebrate with you :)",0.9602,positive,hopeful
1025,MentalHealthSupport,i’m scared that i wasted too much time,speaker,8,yeah i think so too :),0.6682,positive,agreeing
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,speaker,1,I feel like I’m falling off a cliff and I’m almost at the bottom. I’m at the end of my rope it feels. I can’t do it I’m so scared,-0.4294,negative,terrified
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,listener_1,2,Is there anyway you can call your therapist and see if you can get in sooner since you’re feeling suicidal? Or could you get in sooner with a different therapist?,-0.6553,negative,suggesting
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,speaker,3,I don’t know who they are or where they are. My parents haven’t told me anything. But I assume that was the soonest they could get me in,0.0,neutral,trusting
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,listener_1,4,Could you talk to your parents about how you’re feeling and ask to be seen sooner? I’m sure you could get in at an earlier date if they knew how you felt,0.4215,positive,hopeful
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,speaker,5,Unfortunately it’s complicated — rough stuff with parents,-0.34,negative,sad
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,listener_1,6,"Ok is there any one else you can talk to about how you’re feeling? Like a relative, friend or school counselor?",0.8299,positive,questioning
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,speaker,7,I might be at school — whether they’re available or not I’ll have to see,0.0,neutral,apprehensive
1026,MentalHealthSupport,My first therapy session is in over a week. I don’t know if I can last that long.,listener_1,8,Ok I think it would be a good idea to see one and tell them how you feel. It also might help to post to r/suicidewatch,0.7783,positive,suggesting
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,1,"So i am really young i am turning 16 in august, but i can already tell my problems are getting worse really fast, so i have some very serious social anxiety and it is to the point where i can't even say almost anything around my family without starting to shake and tear up, it is controlling my life and i have no clue on how i can start working to solve it, even writing this is taking me some time because i don't know if i should post here since i am not even 16 yet and might get judged for that. And on top of that i have somewhat of an anger management issue and i feel like i am incapable of feeling love of any kind towards anyone, right now i don't love anybody in any way and when i think of loving somebody i start thinking about my social anxiety getting in the way of that and taking my feelings away. If you took the time to read this i appreciate it very much i know it is very long i just need to say it somewhere and i didn't know where or who else to talk to about this.",0.2466,positive,apprehensive
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,listener_1,2,"Hey, I was just like you just a few years ago. You're certainly not too young to be experiencing mental illness nor to seek help for it, if that's something you're worried about. I know it was something that I worried about a lot back then. Social anxiety is a real problem and I know how awful it can be, especially in (in the United States, anyway) high school. I found talking to my family really difficult, especially in person, but I was able to text a friend who encouraged me to get professional help and helped me to set up an appointment with a therapist without having to talk. If possible, I'd suggest you do the same. Therapy will be really hard at first, especially with such severe social anxiety, but most therapists will try to help you work through your difficulty expressing yourself and will go at your pace. They'll never make you do anything that makes you too uncomfortable, but they will push you to open up more in a safe space and help you to do so. If the first therapist you find doesn't do that or doesn't seem like they'll be able to really give you the help you need and deserve, don't hesitate to switch to a different one. They can help you with anger management as well. Assuming by not loving anyone you mean your peers in a romantic sense, you're still young and might just not have reached that stage in development yet. Everybody does at different times. You may also find that you never experience it, and there's nothing wrong with that. r/aromantic is a community full of people that never experienced it. If you meant people like your family, I understand that as well and would recommend speaking to a professional about it, if and when you eventually do see one.  You did the right thing reaching out. Good luck!",0.9828,positive,agreeing
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,3,"Thank you for this, i really appreaciate this very much. I hope i can find some way to contact someone about my issues and ask them to help me find therapists and so on but i don't really have anybody like that. And yes i meant love in a romantic sense as well as a family sense. I do hope i can experience that one day. Thank you, again.",0.9848,positive,sympathizing
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,4,"I really appreciate that you took time off your own day to write this to a person that you don't even know, this is really helpful and i am going to try to try these things which you have mentioned here. I really hope the best to you and that if you are still struggling with anything i hope it gets solved in the near future. Thank you.",0.9548,positive,encouraging
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,listener_2,5,"Its no problem, I'm glad I could help :)",0.8738,positive,sympathizing
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,6,I have not really thought of it from this point of view and now that i do the people currently in my life don't really understand or think at the same level as i do. Thanks for this it is helpful.,0.6908,positive,acknowledging
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,7,"Yeah thank you, i'll checkout the books your friend has read and i'm gonna give mindfulness meditation a try, i haven't heard of it but i think youtube has a tutorial or something. I do hope i can at least somewhat solve these problems before i get into my 20's. Thank you.",0.8464,positive,encouraging
1027,MentalHealthSupport,Young male seeking help from anyone that can provide it.,speaker,8,"Yeah i will try to talk to them about this, don't know how it will go but i will try. Thank you.",0.5927,positive,neutral
1028,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety ruining my relationships,speaker,1,My anxiety has been at an all time high whenever I am really interested in a guy. I have been talking to a guy about a month and my anxiety is starting to ruin it I think. I need advice on how not to let it??,-0.5525,negative,apprehensive
1028,MentalHealthSupport,Anxiety ruining my relationships,listener_1,2,"**Hello there!**  I'm here to send you well wishes on this wonderful day.  There's a lot of negativity in our world these days that you see all over social media. Reddit has always been a bastion of positivity on the internet, and I'm doing my part to keep it that way.  So no matter what background you may come from, I would like to treat you like a human and send you well wishes.  **Have a nice day!**   ^[❤❤❤](https://np.reddit.com/user/WellWishesBot/comments/fbj47t)",0.981,positive,caring
1029,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with anxiety that causes large panic attacks almost every day?,speaker,1,"I don't know if this is the correct sub for this, but please bear with me!  I know this is probably a basic and silly question, but these didnt start until recently (circa November). Apparently I've been having panic attacks for a while, but mine manifest in a different way than the regular heavy breathing, lightheadedness, loss of control, sweating, etc, so I didn't identify them as anxiety or panic attacks until recently. Mine are more clear in thought, though accompanied by uncontrollable sobbing, slight trembling/having to hold myself, and saying irrational things (wanting my s/o to leave me, saying I should be punished and don't deserve the happiness they give me, etc).  I don't know what to do to calm down. Since I'm fairly good at, I guess, not seeming like anything is wrong at all, I've never had a close friend or family member ask me if I'm okay when this happens at events or in classes. Are these fits even anixety attacks? They've gotten very debilitating; they can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 4 or more hours. I can never seem to calm down... and I'm at a loss since my caregiver cannot take me to get tested for medication or provide therapy sessions like I was getting many months prior to these getting very bad.  Any advice at all would be nice!",-0.9882,negative,embarrassed
1029,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with anxiety that causes large panic attacks almost every day?,listener_1,2,"I so feel this.   My anxiety attacks look very similar except I experience loss of breathe, tightness in my chest, sobbing, irrational thoughts. They can be brought on by something or just out of the blue when I'm doing art or watching tv.   Something I was taught by my therapist is normally when I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack I would sit in a chair or my shower or bath, somewhere i am alone and cant have any outside influences make the attack worse. Then I close my eyes and imagine a box and then associate the source of the anxiety with a object or a color. Imagine putting that object or color in the box and lock the box. I've found this helps me and helps me calm down. I also found sitting in a calming environment like with my horses or pets and in the shower and bath where I can be alone and try and calm myself down also works.",-0.8834,negative,anxious
1029,MentalHealthSupport,How do I deal with anxiety that causes large panic attacks almost every day?,speaker,3,"Thank you! Unfortunately most of my attacks happen in public, but when this happens I'll excuse myself to a restroom!!",-0.3523,negative,sympathizing
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,speaker,1,"Hi everyone,   So I have been on VFX for a year now and it’s been a rollercoaster of a ride. Yesterday a bunch of people and I started bonding on  r/mentalhealthmemes about our experiences with VFX side effects and I wanted to start a post to hear more from people and their experiences.  I am interested mainly because over the past couple months we have started reducing my very high dose to try and reduce the side effects.   At the same time I am in a very high stress period at work, and while I am being very mindful that stress obviously reduces resilience, I have been struggling more and more to manage my emotions and thoughts/voice(s).   I would love to hear from more people, especially those who have been on the drug for a while now to know how they manage things or what things have been like for them (it’s nice not to feel alone)  Thank you SO much everyone for any feedback you are kind enough to share.  -A  Ps, if it helps at all in your though process, I have Chronic Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Borderline  Personality Disorder.",0.1022,positive,caring
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_1,2,"I was on Effexor for 5 years with great success. I started at 18 in 2010 and switched to new medications after getting regular panic attacks in late 2015. I feel like I was pretty consistent mood-wise on Effexor. If I ever missed a dose, my body went through hell, and I remember when I first began having terrible side effects. I would probably go back to it in the future. I've been messing with my meds with various care providers since 2015 and have yet to seem as stable as I was those 5 years.",0.4215,positive,faithful
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_2,3,Could you please go into what your side effects were? I'm about to start and am anxious about it,0.0772,positive,questioning
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,speaker,4,"Thank you so much for sharing!   I have tried several others as well over the years but have seen really significant improvement over time with EFX. I do agree though, the side effects and withdrawals are unlike anything I have ever experienced.",0.9317,positive,agreeing
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,speaker,5,"Thank you so much for the suggestion, I actually hadn’t heard of it. I’ll mention it to my doctor and see what he says. I have heard Zoloft causes panic attacks from several people. Thanks again for sharing!",0.3164,positive,grateful
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,speaker,6,"You get the vertigo too!!!!???? Oh my god I am so glad I am not crazy and the only one, I was explaining it to my doctor and he wasn’t sure what I was talking about. I can get it up to three times a week, to a point where I can’t go to work. It’s one of the reasons we are playing around with the the dosage right now, we are hoping that by lowering it my vertigo episodes might go away or at least happen less often.   Thank you so much for sharing, I really appreciate it so so much.",0.9695,positive,apprehensive
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_3,7,"YW. I'm surprised at your doctor's reaction, I just checked and dizziness/vertigo is a listed common side effect. I had to change dosage by a half pill per day every two weeks to avoid the dizziness. It sounds like yours is worse.",-0.2263,negative,surprised
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_4,8,No problem! I'm glad I could help. Best of luck!,0.9407,positive,wishing
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_1,9,"Once I had been on the med for a while, I didn't notice side effects UNLESS I missed a dose. Be diligent in taking your meds regularly. I could miss a morning dose and be vomiting and shaking by the evening :/ it's rough. But I did have good success on it, and my mom has been on it for more than a decade with no issues.   When I first started, I had constipation real bad, dry mouth, and some intense headaches. That's all I remember, though... Later I had some sexual arousal difficulties. I could get excited, but had a hard time reaching orgasm. Because that came on later, I wonder if it was more than just the Effexor causing that particular side effect.",0.1901,positive,disgusted
1030,MentalHealthSupport,Venlafaxine/Effexor And You:,listener_2,10,Thank you for replying,0.3612,positive,sympathizing
1031,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what to do,speaker,1,"I don’t know where to go for help. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what but I feel like I’m a burden. I want to see a therapist but I don’t want my mom of brother or dad to think I’m over reacting. I feel like when I try to talk about it it’s selfish. I feel like if I ask someone for help I’m somehow blaming them. I don’t know, it sucks you know please help me. Please tell me where to go or what to do or something",0.8381,positive,guilty
1031,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what to do,listener_1,2,"i always end up feeling the exact same way but believe me when i tell you: you are NOT a bother and you are NOT selfish for wanting help. you know your limits and now you need more help and it is okay. please reach out to it! ask your family for help, even if its just the occasional vent or telling them you think something is wrong. if they truly love you like family, they will try to help you. i PROMISE you are not alone!",0.9916,positive,neutral
1031,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know what to do,speaker,3,Thank you,0.3612,positive,wishing
1032,MentalHealthSupport,My abuser is getting married,speaker,1,"New here. Never posted anything before. Hopefully I’m in the right thread. My junior year of high school I worked at an amusement park, and one of the security guards preyed on me. He wouldn’t leave me alone, there was about a 10 year age gap. I decided to go out with him once to hopefully get him to back off. I was a naive 16 year old. He drives me way out of town and I get sexually assaulted. Threatens to kill us both, holds me hostage if I don’t agree to be his “girlfriend” and marry him. I make it home and don’t tell anyone what happened. He quits his security job and says he’s moving to another state which I soon find out is a lie. It’s been 3 years and I’ve been able to have positive sexual encounters and I’m in a healthy relationship. I don’t think about him often, but something made me look him up. He’s getting married October of this year and my stomach is CHURNING. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or why I even looked him up but I definitely didn’t expect him to find someone to marry. I don’t want to go back to that dark place I was in three years ago. I think I just needed to get that off of my chest because I don’t want to tell anyone that I’m still a bit traumatized from it.",0.5647,positive,terrified
1032,MentalHealthSupport,My abuser is getting married,listener_1,2,i’m so sorry that happened to you :( it’s okay to still be traumatized that was a traumatic experience,-0.8399,negative,sympathizing
1032,MentalHealthSupport,My abuser is getting married,speaker,3,"Thank you for all of the advice. I’ve considered bringing this to court but I feel like I lack evidence. I deleted all messages, all contact. The only thing I have to back my story up are my previous coworkers who can confirm that he was creepy. I also feel really sick about having to see him ever again, and seeing him in court might do more harm than good.",-0.6988,negative,trusting
1032,MentalHealthSupport,My abuser is getting married,listener_2,4,Do what is best for you hun 😌💕,0.9022,positive,sentimental
1033,MentalHealthSupport,People That Glamorize Murder Made Me Have A Mental Breakdown,speaker,1,"I'm currently sobbing big time.  It gave me so much negativity to make that post that my friend made me delete it for my safety. It's like I can't trust anybody, because who kmows, maybe this random stranger wants to kill me for sexual reasons.  It's scary there's a big community of it and it's seen as okay when it's fucked up in so many ways. I'm so paranoid and alert right now. I'm shaking. Trust. No. One.",-0.8842,negative,terrified
1033,MentalHealthSupport,People That Glamorize Murder Made Me Have A Mental Breakdown,listener_1,2,"Just checked the subreddit out, you are absolutely correct however there is no way you can reason with these people especially on their own “territory”. Dont sweat over it, reddit is filled with fucked up subreddits if we had to go and warn all of them that would take years. Just here look at some r/eyebleach",-0.7906,negative,agreeing
1033,MentalHealthSupport,People That Glamorize Murder Made Me Have A Mental Breakdown,speaker,3,"Id rather them get actually therapy instead of validating each other and normalizing such desires. And it's making me really paranoid now. I often have these types of breakdowns, because or how bad my paranoia is...",-0.659,negative,terrified
1033,MentalHealthSupport,People That Glamorize Murder Made Me Have A Mental Breakdown,listener_1,4,"I dont think these are in anyway normalized, even if those redditors themselves may think that they are in a safe space on that particular subreddit but that is only an illusion of a normalization. Also I think they like the fact that they are “not normal”. but that is whole another psychological standpoint...  I understand you, I do. But please try to be realistic, you cant help everyone or convince any of these people to have therapy. Dont hurt yourself by overthinking these guys, they dont deserve your attention. There sooo many good people in the world. You cant help everyone. If you think this is very serious violation you can report this to reddit itself but I highly doubt that will do anything because they are eliminated illegal content by setting an age limit and saying its all a fantasy. It took people years to shut down r/incels and reddit only shut it down to protect the platforms reputation. You probably hear stuff like “then stop being paranoid” i know it is not easy, try talking to a close friend or a family member. Venting sometimes does wonders. Just surround yourself with the people you love. Do something that makes you happy, life is too short to worry about all the fucked up people in the world.",0.4827,positive,neutral
1033,MentalHealthSupport,People That Glamorize Murder Made Me Have A Mental Breakdown,speaker,5,They switching it up and thinking im the bad guy and im an idiot that doesnt know anything....it makes me feel shitty.,-0.8859999999999999,negative,angry
1034,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a reason I have extremely violent nightmares of myself being brutally murdered/killed?,speaker,1,"I dont know if this is the right subreddit for this or not,if not please remove and point me in the right direction.  If it matters I'm a male age 19. I've also had a few pretty bad injuries this past year also such as, tearing my ACL and having surgery, getting my other knee trapped between 2 cars and almost getting my leg broken/crushed, and I also almost cut the tip of my middle finger off by shutting it in the tailgate of my truck.  So this has been happening on and off for a year, maybe alittle more. I have these dreams where I'm being brutally killed all the time, they get so bad I wake up in cold sweats almost every time and sometimes wake up almost in shock about what I was dreaming about.  For example the last bad one I had, I was taken hostage with a group of people and shot into he back of the head. I didnt die right away and got up and walked around after everything happened and the people that did it left. I swear I could feel it, I also had loss of hearing in the dream. I was almost in shock when i woke up in the morning and it took me a while to process what I was dreaming about.   That's the type of dreaming I've been having regularly sometimes nightly for all this time, and I want to know if this is normal. I should also note I have been dealing with some heavy stress and anxiety (very rare jeavy panic attacks) with my family as my parents are getting divorced. There's unrelated heavy fighting within both sides of their families, and I'm stressed.  I dont know if the stress is correlated to this or if I'm just drawing conclusions. Someone mentioned to me that theres a disorder that causes nightmares and I'm wondering if it's possible I have have that or something like that. Will this go away or stay forever.  I apologize for the poor formatting asimov on mobile and I'm extremely tired. I appreciate anyone that can help me out.",-0.9905,negative,embarrassed
1034,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a reason I have extremely violent nightmares of myself being brutally murdered/killed?,listener_1,2,"It is up to you and your beliefs, but you should consider that an entity is harassing you, you should instead seek for another kind of help (maybe religious), obviously go first to a therapist, and then look for the alternative. Hope this helps",0.736,positive,suggesting
1034,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a reason I have extremely violent nightmares of myself being brutally murdered/killed?,speaker,3,"Thanks for the reply friend, I have not thought of that but I'll take anything into consideration at this point if it can get me to a means of relieving this.",0.743,positive,neutral
1034,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a reason I have extremely violent nightmares of myself being brutally murdered/killed?,speaker,4,"I appreciate your response friend, I'm going look into some different ways to lessen the stress in my life and seeing about getting help. Part of me is afraid to go to a therapist because I dont want anything to be on my medical record as I'm trying to go to the military soon. But if it continues I may go with that option",0.4193,positive,apprehensive
1034,MentalHealthSupport,Is there a reason I have extremely violent nightmares of myself being brutally murdered/killed?,listener_2,5,"The repercussions of not dealing with any stresses and potential trauma now, then diving straight into army are not worth it I think, as army is also high stress and risk (depending where you are aiming to serve). May you find the help you need! Big hugs friend :D",0.6439,positive,wishing
1035,MentalHealthSupport,Im paranoid,speaker,1,I wish I could believe in religion i wish doomsday was real and we just all be wiped out I dont wanna be on this earth anymore I'm scared and its triggering my agoraphobia I cant leave my house I cant trust people,-0.5932,negative,afraid
1035,MentalHealthSupport,Im paranoid,listener_1,2,"Sorry if I'm being disrespectful, but I want to ask what agoraphobia is. I would like to offer help, but I'm not certain of what the phobia is.",0.3567,positive,embarrassed
1035,MentalHealthSupport,Im paranoid,speaker,3,I get anxiety going outside my house,-0.1779,negative,anxious
1035,MentalHealthSupport,Im paranoid,listener_1,4,"Oh no, I'm sorry. That sounds tough. I'm not great at helping or with words, but if you ever want to talk to someone, you could always message me. My inbox is open to anyone.   I hope that things get better. I'm sure you'll find a way to deal with this in a way that makes you comfortable.",0.9268,positive,sympathizing
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",speaker,1,"i think i was sexually abused as a child, but i repressed the memory of it happening. i keep having dreams where i’m being touched sexually (and un-consensually) and raped.  in those dreams my dad is sometimes doing it, and i’m scared that they might be repressed memories because i couldn’t remember anything before these dreams.  i don’t know for sure if i was actually sexually abused, because sometimes i feel like have been but then i think i haven’t been, is that just denial? or am i wrong to think i have been sexually abused because i haven’t been?  it’s confusing and scary, but i feel like i can’t tell anyone because i don’t know for sure, can someone try to help me?",-0.9318,negative,terrified
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",listener_1,2,Fo you still live with your dad? Do you honestly believe he’d be capable of such an act? Is there anyone else in your family that could be the culprit? Do you have any clear memories or just dreams? Is there anyone in your family or extended family that has acted inappropriately to you in the daytime?,0.897,positive,questioning
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",speaker,3,"i don’t live with him. i do believe he would do something like that. i doubt that because my dad would rarely let us visit my mum’s side of the family, and my dad’s side was actually really kind. i am starting to remember things now. i don’t think so, i just remember my dad always having to touch me, like on my shoulder or waist.   i’m not 100% sure that it happened, i think i just don’t want to believe it, but i’m more surer than i was when i made this post.",0.7189,positive,neutral
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",listener_1,4,Do you attend therapy?,0.0,neutral,questioning
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",speaker,5,"i should be, i’ve been waiting for about two years, but i haven’t even had my first appointment, and because of covid i can’t go",0.0,neutral,disappointed
1036,MentalHealthSupport,"Tw sexual abuse, rape",listener_1,6,"I would suggest searching for online options because you deserve it. Until then, I’ve been watching a really great YouTube/Podcast channel called Psychology in Seattle you MSU like",0.7841,positive,impressed
1037,MentalHealthSupport,What should i do,speaker,1,"Apology for bad english, so i have a friend we were close been together since 3rd grade i believe and rn im going to school with him, he used to be a cheerful guy with no care at all about anything he is currently at 8th grade and started asking my opinion on suicide,how to do suicide in the less painful way,and what do i think if he do it, i thought about as a joke and we laugh about it but considering that he is getting mock for being an introvert and having trouble with his family im worried about it or is it just that 14yr have this somesort of realization, should i be worried i mean his dad has a db shotgun in his house",-0.9204,negative,annoyed
1037,MentalHealthSupport,What should i do,listener_1,2,"Definitely tell an adult! This is not a joke. If anything happened to your friend you would feel horrible. He may get upset with you, but a mad friend is better than a dead friend. Good luck!",0.8776,positive,agreeing
1037,MentalHealthSupport,What should i do,listener_2,3,Yes. Tell an adult who will be understanding and helpful. Don’t be afraid to ask your friend directly: “are you thinking about committing suicide?”,0.8402,positive,trusting
1038,MentalHealthSupport,"Just feel lost, any help or advice would be brilliant thanks",speaker,1,"Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, but i knew it was gonna happen for weeks before that so I had time to prepare, anyways I’ve spent a lot of the last few weeks focusing on myself, new hobbies, meeting new people which is brilliant, but I feel as though I’m nobody’s priority, like I see everyone going out having happy times, and don’t get me wrong I’m a very social person, but it just makes me feel a bit rubbish. Also since my girlfriend broke up with me while I don’t really miss her much anymore, I just feel as if I’ve had my chance with girls and now I’ll be forever alone and no girl finds me attractive, im very fake it till I make it with my outgoing confidence because the people around me wouldn’t tell you I feel like this. I do have purposes and goals in life but days like today make me feel no motivation because I don’t feel worth it. I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy, take care of my hygiene, good at having conversations, go to the gym but having all that stuff doesn’t mean I’m always a happy guy. People can tend to tell when my energy is off because when it’s not I’m the funny one who makes people laugh. Venting this out is helping me feel better but like I said I just feel as though I’m never gonna get anywhere and it’s annoying me cause I thought I was through this bad phase, I started getting help for my anxiety and things were looking good but I just feel a bit tired drained and purposeless at the moment. Any advice would be brilliant thanks x",0.9885,positive,jealous
1038,MentalHealthSupport,"Just feel lost, any help or advice would be brilliant thanks",listener_1,2,"Hi dude I am a 20 for F, been through pretty much the same thing as you. Wanna tell you the good news, I promise you this is just a phase and it’s normal! So many people feel the exact same way and you’re not alone. Venting helps and time helps. If you feel like crying cry if you feel like being quiet be quiet don’t worry about what other people think right now. You’re focusing on you so do It’s not just within the body but the mind. Talk to your family, talk to your friends, let it out. Surround yourself with those hobbies of yours and just take time for yourself, don’t rush it. If it was a long relationship especially it will take a while. It might sound cliché but whatever’s meant to be will be in the right time. But going through the journey of finding yourself again and loving yourself and doing all the things you want to do is some of the best times. And you’ll look back and be grateful you took this time for you",0.9771,positive,agreeing
1038,MentalHealthSupport,"Just feel lost, any help or advice would be brilliant thanks",speaker,3,"Thank you! It’s just frustrating because my mood changes so much about it all. One minute I have no motivation the next minute I have all the motivation in the world. It’s hard being like that sometimes. I’ve put so much effort into myself since the breakup, more than I ever have previously. I just hope in the end things work out.",0.6435,positive,hopeful
1038,MentalHealthSupport,"Just feel lost, any help or advice would be brilliant thanks",speaker,4,"I haven’t, will give it a shot though! Thank you",0.4199,positive,hopeful
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,speaker,1,"Hey all. I am running into this problem in my relationship with my girlfriend. She has had a very hard life. Was raised in foster care, had abusive parents over and over, has had shitty boyfriends, and is medicated for Anxiety/OCD. I've done my very best to  be understanding with her. I went through some pretty heavy counseling a few years back and learned quite a bit about mental health issues, cognitive distortions, mal-adapative coping mechanisms, the works. I've used that knowledge to the best of my ability but i've hit a wall.  Whenever im with her and things are fine. I love being with her and she lights my life up. She has made me a far better person in the last year or so we've been dating. I also don't really have any friends so i rely on her for a lot my social interaction needs.     The issue is, there is something in her that i don't feel i can do anything about and its tearing us apart. If there is some kind of issue between us. I'm all about opening up lines of communication and trying to talk. I listen, i ask her what shes feeling, what shes thinking. Anything i can to try and understand and be dynamic about making her feel better.  But she just shuts down. She can't articulate feelings, she can't tell me whats wrong in even the slightest smallest problem. I can tell she's internalizing it. I can tell she blames herself for everything. I understand where the problems come from. She was raised in households where her feelings didn't matter and she was yelled at for nothing.  But i can't have a healthy relationship with someone that i have to either extremely coddle or ignore until she buries it enough to feel normal again.      We recently didn't talk for the last week or so and i realized how completely lonely and depressing my life is without...but to be honest...When shes okay, i love it and i love being around her. But when shes not. Its emotionally draining as fuck and its become a huge burden.  I feel like i have to pick between breaking up with her and dealing with being alone, or staying with her and dealing with an increasingly hard problem.",0.3928,positive,caring
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,listener_1,2,"I literally just went through this situation with a partner. Turns out she has Borderline Personality Disorder and was cheating our entire relationship. The only lesson I’ve learned from all the suffering is you can’t fix someone’s problems. If there are red flags, trust your gut. You can’t force someone to open up or tell the truth. If you’ve given your all and it’s not working, then it’s probably not meant to work. Although I’m hopeful you can work through things, obviously this is an extreme case. Stay strong!",0.1669,positive,trusting
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,speaker,3,"Yea. Shes been in therapy for years. Imo, it doesn't seem to do anything for her.",0.0,neutral,sad
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,listener_2,4,Maybe she could benefit from a different therapist and have you tried therapy?,0.4588,positive,suggesting
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,listener_3,5,"I know sometimes it can seem like ""coddling"" but she probably has a fear of abandonment as well. It can seem hard but I know for me when I shut down I just wish my person could be there for me but it feels like torture to ask for it. It's so hard to explain. Something that did help me was making a ""heart chart"" - different coloured hearts that explain what I'm feeling when I don't have the words. It helps if you both have one, that way you feel on the same team. You can also write what you think you'll need when you're feeling that way or make a separate chart with emojis to explain what you need. For me I have things like ""rubs"" because physical touch soothes me.",0.9552,positive,sentimental
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,speaker,6,"I suppose I could just hold her hand and tell her sorry if i feel like i did something wrong and just kinda be there...  But honestly, i just want someone i can have a conversation with. I guess I just want someone ""normal"" and i can't deal with walking on eggshells with her anymore",0.7615,positive,lonely
1039,MentalHealthSupport,Kinda screwed either way.,listener_3,7,"If you feel like it's best for your mental health to go your separate ways, you also need to do what's best for you. You can't pour from an empty cup, but you can't expect her to change overnight either, and it sounds like she is trying.",0.8316,positive,agreeing
1040,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling lately,speaker,1,"So I'm 17 years old and have depression. I was diagnosed after a suicide attempt when i was 14. My attendance in school isn't great and some of the staff are pretty worried and have recommended i see a counsellor. I've been to CAMHs before and it was honestly not great, plus it doesn't help that i have major trouble opening up to people. My anxiety and depression are making things really hard at the moment, and I'm often suicidal. Currently going through a depressive episode and I'm struggling to get out of it, things really lack meaning at the moment. If anyone has any advice about depression and depressive episodes that would be great",-0.9873,negative,afraid
1040,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling lately,listener_1,2,"I am No expert but I still feel like I should help as much as I can. So you Said you have struggle opening up to people, thats ok. If you dont feel ready dont stress yourself Out. If you have proper friends, that care for you, they should understand you. Try to go as school as much as possible. Maybe that can be some kind of meaning. Also of you are in school you are busy with Something, you dont think as much, and probably wont feel as Bad.  Maybe you can try to find Something you can do as a hobby, that you are passionate about.  If you dont have anything, than Just Pick Something, Try IT Out, and If it doenst work out just try the next Thing. Maybe just painting, or writing, Something music related, singing or playing an instrument, Play some video games, alone or with friends.  Just keep on searching until you find Something that you enjoy, because you will eventually.   Again I am Not an expert, so any amount of doubt is justified, thats just what I think would Help.  Best of Luck fellow Redditor!",0.9938,positive,trusting
1040,MentalHealthSupport,Really struggling lately,speaker,3,Thanks for the advice!,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
1041,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared,speaker,1,"I've had depression for a long while now and have been suicidal multiple times and have had plans and shit before. I've never wanted to hurt another person but all of the sudden recently I have been very homicidal. The thought of me strangling a woman brings joy to me. I dont feel bad for it but I know it isnt normal. I dont know what to do and I'm scared that I might do something. I've loved the saw movie series for a while and occasionally create ideas for traps and ways to kill people. I've never thought to actually kill until recently. I want to kill my mom, my friends, and then myself. I have a very vague plan and whenever I think of it I'm filled with passion that I don't have in much else. I want to stab someone to death then cut their body in half and punch their eyeballs in and break their skull with my hands. I just want to feel the life slowly fading from someone's body in my hands. Why do I feel like this? I like the feeling I get when I think of killing. Sometimes I want to rip my jaw off of my skull and stomp on it until it's a bloody pulp of bone and skin. This isnt normal is it? I've always thought it's ok to have violent thoughts but I've had people tell me otherwise. People have told me I take death too lightly and act like it's a ""game."" I never thought I was a violent person, but people have told me otherwise. Sometimes I punch holes in my wall when I'm angry. Sometimes I strangle something and stop doing it right before it passes out. Sorry for the formatting, I'm on mobile.",-0.9925,negative,terrified
1041,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared,listener_1,2,This is absolutely not normal and not ok. Please seek professional help. As soon as you can.,0.1872,positive,agreeing
1041,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared,speaker,3,"This means so much to me. Thank you so much. I make music in my free time and that's what keeps me going, what keeps me seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going to keep positive and I'm going to think before I act alot more. I need to do alot of thinking but in the meantime I'm going to the ER to get an evaluation otherwise I cant go back to school. I have a counseling appointment next week and I'm going to have alot to talk about then. I'll keep you in mind for anyone to talk to. Again this really really means alot thank you so much man.",0.8336,positive,hopeful
1041,MentalHealthSupport,I'm scared,speaker,4,Update: I gone to the ER and got an evaluation and they let me go home with constant supervision. They made me a plan of getting help with my counselor and thinking alot more before I act.,0.4019,positive,trusting
1042,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel like I have something, I just can't figure out what. Can anyone help me? Just a loose indicator is sufficient, I don't need a diagnosis.",speaker,1,"Before reading I want to clarify that I don't necesserily need help from you; I just need an idea of what I am up against so I can gather more information.  **TLDR; Mentally tired, existensial dread, can't cry, procastination, trouble opening up, memory loss, ""foggy"" mind, suicidal-ish**  I have a few symptoms of what I believe to be something mentally wrong with me. For background info, I am a 17 year old male with a generally good life. Which is also why I have avoided seeking help for a long time, because I feel like it is kinda fake, or just me being a teenager.   One of the most important symptoms being that I have trouble ""meta-thinking"" (thinking about how I feel, and why). I often think I just feel nothing, but I also know that isn't true as I can feel happy or angry.  Other symptoms are:  -Being mentally tired all the time, especially at school. I have friends but my social-interaction-gauge is completely drained, often before the end of the day. I only feel comfortable at the end of the day, in my bed or on the couch. This also results in going to bed too late (further contributing to being tired).  -Existential dread. I have no plans or dreams. I am already tired/bored of living. I can't imagine living until 30 (if my mental health stays the same)  -I don't cry. I can't, even when I am sad. I don't know if this is weird but it just feels wrong.  -Procastination. I am in the last year of secundary education, so I have a lot of big exams. My grades are ok, but I have a lot of trouble getting started. I often feel like giving up and doing the year over, even though I *REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT*.  -I have trouble talking about my feelings, partly because of my trouble thinking about it, but also because I feel like I would put the ""victim"" in an awkward position. After all, I would have no idea how to deal with someone who feels like me.  -Memory loss. The last 1-3 years feel like a blur. I don't know whether something happened the last few months or last year. This might just be a part of getting older though.  -A general sense of foggyness in my thoughts.  -I often fantasize of dying, preferably an heroic death or something. Or just suicide (I am not planning to, chill out).  Now I have considered it being depression or stress, but I can still function kind of normally. I go to school, workout a lot, have friends, go to parties, have a job, etc. I also don't feel worthless, at all. I also am not irritable or have frustrated outbursts. (Although I do feel like that sometimes. I just don't let it out. And I don't think I am more irritable than normal).",-0.9912,negative,apprehensive
1042,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel like I have something, I just can't figure out what. Can anyone help me? Just a loose indicator is sufficient, I don't need a diagnosis.",listener_1,2,Is it a fear of yours that sticks with you on a daily basis? Anxiety? Past trauma?,-0.8042,negative,questioning
1042,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel like I have something, I just can't figure out what. Can anyone help me? Just a loose indicator is sufficient, I don't need a diagnosis.",speaker,3,"Thank you for the reply.  I don't have past traumas, AFAIK. I don't think I have anxiety (although I can be anxious, but I don't think I have it more than others).  I am not really scared of anything, apart from normal things and spiders. Maybe a fear of commiting, a fear of regret, or even a fear of living. But I think those are symptoms of the way I feel, not causes.",-0.9253,negative,afraid
1042,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel like I have something, I just can't figure out what. Can anyone help me? Just a loose indicator is sufficient, I don't need a diagnosis.",speaker,4,Thanks!,0.4926,positive,wishing
1042,MentalHealthSupport,"I feel like I have something, I just can't figure out what. Can anyone help me? Just a loose indicator is sufficient, I don't need a diagnosis.",speaker,5,Thanks!,0.4926,positive,wishing
1043,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t know how to like people,speaker,1," i feel like i can’t be with anyone for more than a week. no matter who, i just get annoyed. everything they do just start to annoy me, i get mean and i don’t even care. it happens with everyone, all the time. i feel like i wont ever be properly surrounded because people just annoy/bore me so quickly. i feel terrible for feeling this way too. am i a bad person? sometimes i feel like i want to be reborn.",-0.1714,negative,annoyed
1043,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t know how to like people,listener_1,2,I can’t offer advice on this but I can offer my support - you’re not alone I’m exactly the same!  Every time someone speaks to me I’m like ugh shut up. I resent people saying my name like they own it and i hate hearing about their boring lives and I genuinely just don’t care about them. I find social interaction with other people exhausting and just feel like I could be doing sooooo many other things than talking to this person - like I feel like they’re getting in the way of me living my life and I just want them to go away.   Does this sound like you? I’ve always thought I was just a horrible person but people just annoy me as well it seems haha.,0.8821,positive,caring
1043,MentalHealthSupport,i don’t know how to like people,speaker,3,"i do feel that way often :( i feel bad, because im in no position to feel that way, but i just do. sometimes, someone asking me a simple question can set me off & it sucks. even replying to messages is tiring.  i hope we can both find ways out of this tho, and start having better relationships w/ people! you’re not alone in the way you feel.",0.4682,positive,consoling
1044,MentalHealthSupport,Rejected Because of Difference,speaker,1,"I have no friends, no job, no family because I have been rejected for being out of the norm. I believe that people overlook me, and are oddly repulsed by me and could easily leave me in the same way you get that gut instinct of ""oh dear"" as you pass a disabled animal in a shelter in favor of another one. We probably all get that funny feeling, but we don't talk about it  - like a mother cat rejecting her runt of the litter. I'm very sensitive to it, and it makes me feel upset because I'm so empathetic.  I know it's horrible but I've accepted the truth of what I am - demented and disabled.  How can you live with the knowledge and the fact of being genuinely behind, less than other people, and have an inability to get better?  I accept myself, but how does one live happily being alone, knowing that you won't be on the same wavelength as others?",0.8809,positive,lonely
1044,MentalHealthSupport,Rejected Because of Difference,speaker,2,"How do you accept being alone, and not so moved by the reactions of others? In other words, do I need to toughen up.",0.1779,positive,lonely
1044,MentalHealthSupport,Rejected Because of Difference,speaker,3,Let it be...,0.0,neutral,consoling
1045,MentalHealthSupport,TW: tried OD propranolol (1g) didn't work - feel like a failure,speaker,1,"Really needed to vent - I took an OD of propranolol (1g) a week ago, had some symptoms and passed out and thought it should of worked but didnt. I had to tell my GP today and felt like he didn't believe me and I feel like such an idiot and failure cause it didnt work. Do not know how to feel and like I am hopeless",-0.631,negative,embarrassed
1045,MentalHealthSupport,TW: tried OD propranolol (1g) didn't work - feel like a failure,listener_1,2,"I feel your pain. I read your recent posts on the two therapists and yeah, I get it. I did 15 years of utterly useless therapy when I was younger; wrong therapists, wrong attitude, wrong approach, and I was numb. I couldn’t feel anything and life was just an anxious pile of shit.   I had a fucked up childhood and early life, too. I get the numbness that PTSD creates. I get the hopelessness that you feel right now and the anxiety with having the pressure of two therapists. However, sometimes feeling overwhelmed is a sign you’re on the precipice of a breakthrough.  I was there in October. I’d been pushing super hard all year. I was seeing a therapist, a life coach and an energy worker. I had to leave one of my previous therapists because they violated my boundaries, which just complicated everything even more. I was at my limit. I honestly felt like I should have never started therapy in the first place at that moment; I was happier in my dysfunctional coping strategies of the past. But then it happened. I had that final breakthrough and I really do feel born again. Not in some religious sense, but in a clarity and healing way I’ve never had before.   You are getting a second chance here. You might be a few days or weeks away from a real breakthrough. It’s the resistance of your old ego that’s making this so uncomfortable. Keep working it. Be brave. Be honest in therapy and work the shit out of this stuff.   You got this. Be stronger than the fuckwads that put you in this headspace. Push through.   Namaste.",0.8318,positive,agreeing
1045,MentalHealthSupport,TW: tried OD propranolol (1g) didn't work - feel like a failure,speaker,3,I fully get that. Fingers crossed,0.0,neutral,agreeing
1046,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to cope anymore,speaker,1,"Everything just seems to be getting too much for me atm, with stress from college and the strain I’ve caused in my relationship. I hate myself which has caused me to lie to my partner about stupid stuff. I’ve tried to get help but nothing seems to work the GP hasn’t done anything to help and I’ve been turned away from the only other place I was suggested. I have moments where I seriously don’t want to be here but I’m too scared to do anything.",-0.6808,negative,ashamed
1046,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to cope anymore,listener_1,2,"Hey friend. Don’t be afraid to ask people for help with college, or talk to your professors. Be open with your boyfriend about what’s going on, he will understand",0.7096,positive,trusting
1046,MentalHealthSupport,I don’t know how to cope anymore,speaker,3,"With everything he’s been through I don’t want to hassle him, i feel like I’m being selfish. I’ve constantly tried to reach out to professionals for help but as a 17 female it seems like no one wants to take me seriously",0.0387,neutral,ashamed
1047,MentalHealthSupport,I dont want to hurt anymore.,speaker,1,I have severe depression and it's killing me. Does anyone have any ideas how to get out of it. It started from a Traumatic event a couple of years ago and its still going strong. The traumatic event happened when i was 14 and im soon gonna be 17 and i think i might kill myself soon. I've been fighting it but theres not much i have found that works.,-0.9001,negative,sad
1047,MentalHealthSupport,I dont want to hurt anymore.,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
1047,MentalHealthSupport,I dont want to hurt anymore.,speaker,3,Yeah I've mostly only had drunken conversations with my friends about it and ive also gone to therapy but nothing seems to work exept drugs and drinking.,0.3919,positive,neutral
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_2,1,"Hi guys, lately I’ve been having these delusions, and I was wondering if someone could tell me what is happening to me. So this happened about a month ago, and was the first time I am fully aware of this happening. I was hanging out with my boyfriend, and it was time for me to go home. He drove be home and walked me to my door. He was walking behind me, so I wasn’t really paying attention to him. At the door , I turned around to say goodbye, but something seemed off. Like it wasn’t him. I know that it must’ve been him caus it looked like him, but something felt off. I got really scared, it felt like he was gonna hurt me. It wasn’t him. But it was him? It’s like I didn’t know him, but I knew he was my boyfriend. I was aware of my surroundings and my relationship with him, but it seemed to be someone else. I looked up what this could be, and I guess it might be capgras syndrome? I’m not sure though?",0.2976,positive,trusting
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_3,2,"How old r u and that happened more than once since then? Maybe talk to some psychologist if it really bothers u that much? And if we're talking about what i think u r thinking about, how possible could it be, that youre bf is not your bf or who he seems to be? Don't want to downplay anything but is it not more likely he had a bad day, received a bad message etc. Or u had misinterpreted the situation? U clearly know him best but try too rationalize those situations. Either way talk to a proffesional and hopefully u can sort some things out if needed. Good luck :)",0.9274,positive,questioning
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_2,3,"I’m 18 y/0. I’ve had some more episodes since then. And yeah, I get where you’re coming from. Thing is it’s not like he said something wrong or did something wrong. It just felt off. Like it was not real. Like I was put in a simulation or something i just got the urge to get away as quickly as possible like something bad was gonna happen like he was not real. You knwo kinda like a dream when you try running away but you can’t and someone you know is different. It wa slike that like being in a dream but it was real. And it just seemed off.",0.6263,positive,agreeing
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_2,4,"Yeah I talked about it with my fam and bf, but they don’t really get it. And actually, I’ve suffered a head injury quite recently. I went out with some friends and we were drinking. On our way to a part I fell off my bike. Turns out I had a concussion and a whiplash. I’m not sure tho if that could explain where it’s comming from.",-0.6901,negative,embarrassed
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_3,5,"When u say recently did the accident happen before the first episode?  Therefore it could be 'a' cause but still, u need to diagnose Capgras syndrome before searching for evidence that would back it up. As i mentioned we should be careful with assumptions, it could easily led to misconceiving or make u google all kind of stuff just to find out it could be something much less or even nothing at all. U can avoid a lot of unnecessary headache. Are u in a position to get a psychologists for free or cheap? Maybe there is a teacher that can connect u with some one?",0.7303,positive,questioning
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_2,6,Yes it happened just before the first episode. And yeah I totally get that. Unfortunately I don’t study so I don’t have a teacher to help me and psychologist aren’t really cheap down here.,0.6041,positive,agreeing
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_3,7,Yeah same for me. I found a way with german healthcare so now i have a 50/50 chance they take care of upcoming costs with therapy. Maybe there is a way for u too. U atleast should have the right to know whats going on! I would like to know the outcome so keep me updated if u don't mind. And to answer your question - there is something wrong with every single one of us. It makes us unique :) good luck,0.9324,positive,wishing
1047,MentalHealthSupport,What is wrong with me?,listener_2,8,"Thank you so much tho! You helped me a lot, and I feel like you helped me clear my mind and find a way to start this new journey!",0.8011,positive,acknowledging
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,speaker,1,"I have something wrong with me.  I just started seeing a therapist a month ago, we are still in the stages of me telling her my life story more or less.  My biggest problem is, I’m not depressed, so far as I can understand, but I have zero motivation.  All I want to do is lay in bed, play some video games, eat, and sleep, that’s it.    My house is a horrible mess.  I haven’t worked in three years, I’m within two months of running out of savings.  I want to have motivation, I want to care, I just don’t.    How can I make motivation out of the nothing I feel?  How can I start to care about life again?    I’m 46, I have no family at all, I have been single for eighteen years, I can’t seem to find a date ever, I try.    I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but something is wrong.",0.4005,positive,ashamed
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,listener_1,2,💔,0.2732,positive,ashamed
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,speaker,3,"I’ve been wanting to exercise for years, the motivation just isn’t there.",0.34,positive,disappointed
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,speaker,4,"That’s the issue with you feminists, everyone is a victim.",-0.2732,negative,angry
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,listener_2,5,"the thing with motivation is it's never consistent. If everyone only did what's best for them off of motivation there would be little progress.  If you know that you're feeling depressed and can't pin point why I'd highly recommend to just start working out.. it doesn't have to be 30 minutes, make it 5 minutes but just be consistent with it.  Trust me your brain will undo the negative patterns on its own, it will give you the exact insight you need as to why you're feeling depressed. Might not even be a mental thing, might just be a diet issue but whatever it is I'm 200% certain starting a workout routine will put a sword in your hand to slay depression and angst.",0.3291,positive,neutral
1048,MentalHealthSupport,No motivation.,speaker,6,Yeah I want to work out.  Something in my shoddy paradigm never gets it done.  I guess I’m just lazy.    I was an athlete in my childhood into my early twenties.   I was very fit.,0.4201,positive,confident
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,speaker,1,"I just feel like i cant leave my exgf, i still loving her after all...  well it goes a like this...  i met her at university, wasn't a long relationship but i did had feelings for her and i still having feelings for her even when she already told me she doesn't want anything to do with me but friendship, i feel bad about it to be honest since i don't want her friendship when we were couple before.  she had an abortion and a couple exes and she used to compare some actions of i whit them and be like ""oh you know he used to do this for me in the past"" i did overcome all that, tried to support her always, drove all the weekends for 1 hour to pick her up at her work at a familiar restaurant to bring her home at 12am and i ended up reaching my home at 1 am, i don't feel bad for doing it, i felt good for doing it since i loved and love her all this after leaving my work at 10pm and going at my house to make some hot tea or coffee and bring a blanked for her time to time since it was cold.  she broke up with me because she wanted to improve her self and earn self esteem, i felt destroyed and i had to deal with it and i did, we gave us another 2 chances, did not work since my insecurities and her way to be, since i find out that she was already having feelings for some one else as soon as she broke up with me, i felt betrayed and the worst part is that i still loved her and i still.  all my friends hated her for what she did and how she was with me was my mistake to speak up to be honest but they did ask and felt like i should tell them since im petty clear with my way to be, if i feel bad is way to easy to say it, she got mad at me for that and we gave us another chance.  and welp here I am, and insecure guy trying to be better, both of us we go to therapy from the university alone obviously and different psychologyst.  shes on my same class room and same social group by the way.  any advices to be better?  any advices to let her go from my feelings?  any advices to be less insecure?  anything is welcome thanks before hand",0.9839,positive,guilty
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,listener_1,2,"I think a good way to help yourself is seeking distraction and something you enjoy doing without her. Do you have a hobby that you can lose yourself in? Do you have friends that can take you out? Any creative or sportive goals/projects that you can work towards?  It seems that you modeled your whole life around her for a (long?) time and now you have to live on your own again. Getting back together is no option, because she doesn't want to and she has feelings for someone else. She doesn't love you enough, that's clear. If the effort you make for her isn't appreciated, it's no use dwelling around.   For me, meditation lately helps me a lot when I'm feeling anxious in any way. You might try some yourself. It helps you focus on the here and now, instead of the past and future.",0.8774,positive,lonely
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,speaker,3,you made me cry brother i will im focusing in university and games now i just keep trying to avoid her since she refuse to stop talking to me :/,-0.8779,negative,sad
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,listener_1,4,"Crying is a good emotional outlet :)  University is good. It sets a goal for you and it helps you build a future for yourself. Games are a nice way to escape reality for a while. Sounds like a good combination \^\^  Do you mean that she talks to you all the time, even when you ask her not to? Or that she doesn't talk to you at all?    The first one seems problematic... If that is so, try to make it clear to her that you need time to get over all of this. Make it clear that she is not the only one with emotions and that she has to respect your boundries.  If that seems to hard to do, maybe just block her. Does she still go to the same university as you? Do you run into her a lot?",0.9631,positive,questioning
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,speaker,5,"she actually quit a few days ago, I'm feeling better now! been working in my mind a lot to be honest and i manage to make her understand that i need space to recover and past weekend i went to a breakfast date with a childhood friend and seems like shes into me, right now i have a little of mixed feelings but im slowly letting her go from my heart...still hard to be honest and thanks, you made me cry again...thanks...",0.8762,positive,neutral
1049,MentalHealthSupport,looking for some emotional support :(,listener_1,6,"Glad you feel better! Go easy on yourself rn, don't rush into a new relationship but take time to heal. It's good to have a friend tho :) I hope she can support you",0.977,positive,consoling
1050,MentalHealthSupport,After sharing embarrassment?,speaker,1,"So i struggle with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. For me it hits me hard and fast. Sometimes i get the muster to ask for help or share that I’m struggling and then instantly afterward i become embarrassed or ashamed. Then i look at people and feel awkward. Not because they aren’t supportive but because i feel like as a 31ish year old adult i should have my poop in a pile and everyone else around me does. Does anyone else feel the embarrassment after asking for help or feel like they over shared when they barely said anything? Any advise?",0.615,positive,ashamed
1050,MentalHealthSupport,After sharing embarrassment?,listener_1,2,I can relate to that. I feel embarrassed even telling my therapist what’s going on and she’s paid to not give a shit and just support me. It’s tough to manage :( the embarrassment is often a sign that you’re feeling vulnerable and exposed which is a natural feeling after sharing. The truth is not a single person has their shit together and the deeper you look at anyone’s life you’ll find things they also struggle with. When i feel this way I try to remind myself of that and tell myself that my story could actually help others in some way and the people around me are kind and if they judge me it’s none of my business because they don’t act like it.,0.7117,positive,ashamed
1050,MentalHealthSupport,After sharing embarrassment?,speaker,3,Thank you smizzy3! Both messages give me so much comfort! Thank you!!!,0.8485,positive,grateful
1050,MentalHealthSupport,After sharing embarrassment?,listener_1,4,So glad to hear that!! And best of luck with your recovery 😁,0.9334,positive,wishing
1051,MentalHealthSupport,[Work] mental help / decision / stressed decision making,speaker,1,"Hey, so I currently started concrete at the end of July. Till maybe last month I've been doing alright but now it's all been downhill. Concreting isn't my desired career Pathway it is only because I have had trouble finding work and not very smart.   So here's a brief summary of me;  I'm not the smartest, I am not good at maths, ive got a slim figure Soni am also fairly weak too. I always overthink, my mind goes blank under stressful conditions, I have trouble remembering even simple things at times and after being told to do something I always ask because I probably overthink it just trying to remember and etc.  My mum is saying not to quit until I at least find another job so I'm trying to do that now, so I don't know what it is, I feel it shuts my mental moral considering every day I just get shouted at and pretty much out down for either not remembering to do something or not looking properly and etc. Today we were pouring and essentially I was useless and even one of the senior guys who is the boss for us on this site we are on said and it's sorta obvious he knows I'm not good at concreting and I should quit (said in my words) and I know that. For the past few months I've been considering leaving but now I have to because the mental stress on me is taking its toll, (not gonna commit suicide or anything)   I've never really had high hopes for life regarding work, I've always wanted to join the military but I guess I'm walking on thin ice with that option now.   What can I do to better myself mentally by myself since I know every day I'm just gonna get shouted at. I'm not sure where I'm going with this now but I hope this place a workmate on the site recommended for me gets back to me tomorrow and I land a job interview and get the job.",-0.944,negative,ashamed
1051,MentalHealthSupport,[Work] mental help / decision / stressed decision making,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
1051,MentalHealthSupport,[Work] mental help / decision / stressed decision making,speaker,3,Not that I'm sure of. The worrying thing is I never had any high expectations in my working life growing up. I only ever wanted to join the defence force. I have an interview in Thursday for this cleaning job which do like all the cleaning on construction sites. All I can do is hope really,0.6529,positive,hopeful
1051,MentalHealthSupport,[Work] mental help / decision / stressed decision making,listener_2,4,"So, interview tomorrow? Or has corona scare cancelled it? I actually had to send out two cancellation emails today unfortunately. I also wasn’t raised with many or high expectations. It’s made me pretty dependent",-0.5803,negative,disappointed
1051,MentalHealthSupport,[Work] mental help / decision / stressed decision making,speaker,5,"UPDATE: I went in for another company my mate works for and got the job essentially, just waiting until there is work now. But with the main one I was aiming for we did an online registration call, and I am also with them now and it's the same deal, not much work just gotta wait but I was successful with both suprisingly",0.7351,positive,surprised
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,speaker,1,"You’re probably not going to take this seriously because my username is literally “dumb retard bitch” and my profile picture is Patrick with a tight grip on SpongeBobs sack, but please do.    About sometime during October of 2019, a trusted friend of mine had taken advantage of me, and here’s the story:  Three friends and I made plans to hangout. I won’t give names, but let’s call them Kat, Ed, and Chris. We spent the day after school at sunny acres, where we all had a good time laughing, bonding, and making fond memories with one another. At the end of the night, at Culver’s eating dinner with one another, Chris had suggested that we shouldn’t let the night end there, and that we should get some liquor and have a sleepover. So after we all agreed, we constructed the plan. I snuck all three friends into my bedroom with the alcohol and what was supposed to be a fun time quickly went downhill.   Kat doesn’t like being intoxicated and I had to be in charge of making sure my family didn’t find out they were here, so for the majority of the time, her and I were fully functioning, while Ed and Chris were shitfaced. After some time had passed, chris began getting weird with me. He kept going on about how “hot” I was, and after some conversation he decided to spill his feelings out towards me. Chris and I dated back in freshman year, but it was nothing serious as it had only lasted about a month. And at this time, he had a new girlfriend who he had been with for about a year.  Chris and I had grown close when senior year hit. We had everything in common with one another, and admired each other for the traits we didn’t share. I felt myself falling for him again and I’m sure he could tell.  Anyways, that night, chris would ask Kat and Ed for some alone time with me in the closet because he just wanted to “talk” (I have a walk in closet so it’s like two rooms, which made it easy for us to get our alone time). when I asked him what was up, he started going on and on about how he’d never lost feelings for me, how he loves me so much and feels we were meant to be together. He even told me he would leave his girlfriend for me. I had very strong feelings for him at this point, so hearing all of that made me happy beyond words could describe. I trusted his words of warmth and love and decided to kiss him back when he made his move.  He then began to get handsy with me, grabbing my breasts and whispering things like “I need you so bad”. The night consisted of him touching me in places I didn’t want to be touched, him repeating the same “I need you so bad”, and me saying no and reminding him he had a girlfriend. With each time that I said no, he pleaded, the word somehow not registering into his brain. At the end of the night, when Kat and Ed has passed out on the beds they made for themselves on the floor, I went to sleep in my bed when chris joined me on the other side of it. I knew what he was going to do, so I pushed myself up to the wall and tried to force myself to fall asleep before anything had happened. But before sleep could take me, he began growing all sexual with me by touching me and kissing me and trying to remove my clothes. Reminding him that I had told him no already didn’t do much. After a couple minutes of more manipulation and pressure, I finally stopped saying no (although, I never said yes, or that it was okay) and just gave in. While he was having sex with me I began crying. Softly at first, but when he “didn’t hear” or just refused to pay attention, I began sobbing. After he finally heard the sobs and felt my tears he finally stopped. (And I later found out Ed was awake the whole time and heard/seen it all)   The next morning Chris asked if we could still be friends. I tried desperately hard to ignore what had happened, seeing as he got over it pretty quick, but in the end I couldn’t, and I eventually stopped talking to him.   Some things to note is that even while he was sober and before this happened, he would ask me if I wanted to hook up with him but played it off as a joke, so at the time I took it as one. Another thing is, he knows that I have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and because we talked about it a lot he knows how it affects me and how i completely shut down in overwhelming situations. I’ve grown to believe that this is something he planned out, knowing that I’d be an easy target.   That night and what happened between chris and I affects me everyday. Some nights I can’t sleep because it’s all that I think about, sometimes I’ll burst into tears at school or work or at home doing stuff I enjoy. I can’t look at him or hear his voice without panicking. I’ve talked to my mom about what had happened because it was eating away at me, and she always finds a way to remind me that it wasn’t rape and that basically it was my fault I got hurt because I didn’t stop him or push him off.   To this day chris doesn’t care about the damage he’s done to me. He acts as though it never happened, and has uses the excuse of “I was drunk” when talking about it with a mutual friend of ours.   My question to anyone who’s reading this is, was I raped, or does it not count because he was intoxicated? Is it really my fault because I didn’t do more to stop him? Should I press charges or keep quiet? If you could please help me with these questions it would really mean the world to me.   Thank you in advance      ~ dumb retard bitch",0.9941,positive,embarrassed
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,listener_1,2,"Coersion is rape.  You didn't want to and he manipulated you into it. You were trapped between him and the wall with no where to go. So yes,  it was rape.   Whether tip charge is up to you,  whatever you're comfortable with doing. I'd you feel like he might possibly do it again to you or someone else,  I would recommend reporting him. You should definitely tell his girlfriend though. See if the other friend who saw will vouche for you in both instances.   Good luck,  and I hope you feel better. It wasn't your fault.  Edit: words that make sense",0.8963,positive,trusting
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,speaker,3,"I for sure already snitched on his ass to his girlfriend lmao. But thank you so much for leaving your feedback, I truly appreciate your help and the support you’re giving me as well <3",0.976,positive,acknowledging
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,speaker,4,Seeing that you suggested I should talk to a counselor about it and see how I should go about this has really helped me to figure out what my next step is. Thank you for your feedback and support I appreciate it a lot and it really helps to get some sympathy from people towards what’s happened rather than being shut down. Thank you again <3,0.9299,positive,grateful
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,speaker,5,Oh I definitely told his girlfriend lmao. She was really nice to me about it and even apologized for HIS actions after breaking up with him so that’s helped me to feel a little better. it’s so nice to get a comment from someone else with ASD cause you know from a personal POV what it’s like to be in the spectrum and I really appreciate that you decided to give me your input. And thank you for the offer but I would never want to burden you with my issues so I’ll talk to my cat about it 👀thank you so much tho!! It means the world :),0.9623,positive,agreeing
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,listener_2,6,Of course! I have several ASD friends and I teach ASD students. I want you to get the support you need and to know ALL your options and to be prepared with all the information you want. I hope you can continue to find support here and in counseling. Know you are heard and loved.,0.9523,positive,caring
1052,MentalHealthSupport,Is this considered rape and should I charge?,listener_3,7,"wow im so glad she was decent about it, some girlfriends might think u r lying or something, she is gOOd he doesnt deserve hEr. He doesnt deserve anyome for that matter -.-   Also you wouldn’t be any burden to me but you what you’re comfortable with ☺️ You’ll get past this bullshit I know it ✨ Good luck, u can still pm me when u need to 😂",0.9598,positive,neutral
1053,MentalHealthSupport,K2 messes with me in ways i didn’t find imaginable.,speaker,1,"This one is kinda long with no real point to it   In my young teenagers years I was diagnosed with depression and ADHD, when I turned 16 my hot chili gust mentioned Borderline Personality Disorder but since I wasn’t a legal adult I couldn’t be diagnosed.   Once i got out of high school i started becoming manic but nobody realized until it was too late since I’ve never experienced one, nor had anyone around me.   One night someone i knew gave me some “weed” and I packed my bong and smoked 3 bowls. I don’t remember anything other than seizing and hearing voices fight over if I should live or die. But that isn’t important to the story.   After being in the hospital for some time, after I was discharged, I started experiencing a lot of things that I didn’t know how to explain to my doctors.  Over the past couple years, I quite frequently have personality switches. There are 5 different defined personalities but it isn’t really debilitating or anything.  I also have seen things that aren’t there. Sometimes I see people or animals but most of the time I see bubbles. Kinda weird but completely innocent.  I used to hear things a lot. It was different from the sound of the alters talking to eachother in my brain. It sounded a lot more real. But it was only ever people saying my name or yelling it.   I don’t have a solid diagnosis and I don’t know really what to think. In the hospital they said I had bipolar disorder with psychotic tendencies (the mania and hallucinations). My current psychiatrist says I have BPD. I’ve never told anyone about the personalities though. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m lying.   As of right now I don’t have insurance but I’m working hard towards getting it so I can seek some help in getting a more solid diagnosis.  I’m not sure why I’m sharing this all here but I guess I needed to rant and this sub seemed like the best place to not be judged for a potential case of DID.",-0.3166,negative,ashamed
1053,MentalHealthSupport,K2 messes with me in ways i didn’t find imaginable.,listener_1,2,"If your doctor says your lying, they're probably a bad doctor.  Don't lie to them otherwise you'll get misdiagnosed and prescribed drugs that might make it worse.",-0.875,negative,apprehensive
1053,MentalHealthSupport,K2 messes with me in ways i didn’t find imaginable.,speaker,3,"Thank you for the answer! I greatly appreciate long replies and I’m taking everything you said into consideration. I’m actually almost 21 now but it’s only illegal medicinally where I am so I’m not smoking legally anyway. All of this took place many years ago but it’s slowly starting to come up back into my life and I think it’s because of stress. As soon as I get insurance I’ll be searching for mental health providers in my area. I had just moved so I don’t have anyone here yet.   As far as marijuana goes, About a year after hospitalization I started smoking again and for the last year I’ve been smoking pretty heavily but it doesn’t affect me how it used to. The stuff I smoked the night before I was hospitalized was taken into police custody and was tested and identified as K2 with a heavy amount of amphetamines. I mostly smoke dative to keep myself productive but for the most part it kind of keeps one of my identities at rest. He has a lot of anxiety and it’s the one thing they’ll calm him down enough for him to leave me alone for a while.   Thank you again for your nice message and I appreciate it a lot!",0.8013,positive,grateful
1054,MentalHealthSupport,Help me,speaker,1,My alone life I always felt that I was alone that no one was there for I had not my friends and not my parents. My parents always argued and tonight it hit its climax. My life is falling apart and I can't do anything to fix it I can't call for help I can't cry I can't do any I want to die but I'm too afraid to die. God please help me God please help me.,0.6565,positive,lonely
1054,MentalHealthSupport,Help me,listener_1,2," If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME  United Kingdom: 116 123  Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)  Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org",-0.802,negative,apprehensive
1054,MentalHealthSupport,Help me,speaker,3,Thank you I've had some sleep since last night and I feel better.,0.6597,positive,grateful
1054,MentalHealthSupport,Help me,listener_2,4,Really happy to hear that! Try to enjoy your weekend :),0.8881,positive,acknowledging
1055,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental health issues and don’t even know what they are,speaker,1,"For the past fews years I’ve struggled with symptoms of a range of different issues. Depression, anxiety, and a bunch of other stuff. Over the past two years after I dropped out of college I started quitting my jobs, usually a week or two after starting. I’ve gotten into massive debt, and have gotten into some legal trouble now from my debt and lack of any means to support myself. I’m about to lose everything - my house, girlfriend, the few friends I have, and I already lost my car in an accident and haven’t been able to afford to buy a new one. I’m at my wits end. I can’t afford therapy, rent, or any basic necessities. My family and friends won’t help me - financially or supportively - and I don’t see a way out of this. Any support or advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance",-0.4404,negative,afraid
1055,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental health issues and don’t even know what they are,listener_1,2,"I don't even know what to say, I'm not going to talk about 'everything's going to be fine' and 'don't worry, it's ok' because clearly it's not and that would be more of an insult than a reassurance. I'm not the best at giving advice, but do you think you can afford to go to school? Some countries have free education I think (like I'm living in the UK) and if so, you can get better jobs with better qualifications if you work hard - if not, try to speak with the local governors or council of your town/city, I think they may be able to do something about this. Make sure to keep spreading the word to other online users and maybe try to get the people you know to understand the situation you are going through and also, please try to contact someone who can help you with what you are going through, here are a few good websites to talk to: [The Samaritans](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwifvfHgkZvoAhVLwN4KHVYABWsYABAAGgJ3Yg&ae=1&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQOD2N3DY6rtX08C1pp0mlcsMYLnvoYJP4EyxJGAMa7sQBwVEEbHjuvRPu-47QUiG7NYC-HodlGLvoUPzwKSXzd8&sig=AOD64_3Hs9cAkUfhCMRGiBUKmOKZ_Y2ZBQ&q&adurl=https://www.samaritans.org/chatappeal3?gclid%3DCjwKCAjwgbLzBRBsEiwAXVIygMTirh-VKvcb72BZHSEiDjcL3makyYssTopt0dzb9ecezqHLupm9-RoCS6kQAvD_BwE&ved=2ahUKEwiS6ebgkZvoAhVrTRUIHeIpDpoQ0Qx6BAgbEAE) [Right Steps](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjErc38kZvoAhVPyt4KHXgpArAYABABGgJ3Yg&ae=1&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQOD2PVSg1SuwcFigYF8ZGrJLJvkLl7XrBldlStYBGfXO5n4rmlcEXi8sLttXkV6Aofm72FrpILRckrhOubzs7X8&sig=AOD64_1f5Too0ipFNp5s6EEXTho4i820OQ&q&adurl=https://www.rightsteps.co.uk/wellbeing/employee-wellbeing&ved=2ahUKEwirkMT8kZvoAhXcQhUIHd7hCkkQ0Qx6BAgPEAE) [TalkDepression](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjErc38kZvoAhVPyt4KHXgpArAYABACGgJ3Yg&ae=1&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQOD2PVSg1SuwcFigYF8ZGrJLJvkLl7XrBldlStYBGfXO5n4rmlcEXi8sLttXkV6Aofm72FrpILRckrhOubzs7X8&sig=AOD64_2eSq53Isf0VbL-AAA9J5qTXxyevA&q&adurl=https://www.talkdepression.org.uk/content/&ved=2ahUKEwirkMT8kZvoAhXcQhUIHd7hCkkQ0Qx6BAgREAE) I'm sure there are many others and I'm really sorry for the unfortunate situation you have wound up in, I hope it gets better for you soon.",0.9889,positive,apprehensive
1055,MentalHealthSupport,I have mental health issues and don’t even know what they are,speaker,3,"Thanks for your kind words. I live in the US, I can get financial aid but it only covers roughly 1/3 of the cost and I would have to still support myself for another 2 years before I would actually graduate. I’ve considered moving in with a friend for a bit until I get everything together",0.9001,positive,wishing
1056,MentalHealthSupport,Male perspective of body dysmorphia,speaker,1,"When I was 13, during my physical my doctor told me that if i didnt put on muscle, women would never be attracted to and love me. To say that it fucked me up would be an understatement. I also have extreme penile dysmorphia, when in reality I am decently above average, but mentally I feel as if I'm only a couple inches hard. This has affected every romantic relationship ive had, even preventing me from attempting some relstionships. Fuck this disorder.",-0.8691,negative,ashamed
1056,MentalHealthSupport,Male perspective of body dysmorphia,listener_1,2,"Not a guy so I can’t relate - but I am sorry you struggle like this. You are "" fearfully and wonderfully made; "" -‭‭ Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬‬ https://www.bible.com/100/psa.139.14.nasb  And loved by many (even if we don’t know you personally)",0.8047,positive,sympathizing
1056,MentalHealthSupport,Male perspective of body dysmorphia,speaker,3,"Yeah that's me to t.  It is so awful. I told my wife after years of marriage and she couldnt believe it. Now that we are divorcing,  it is making it all spiral out of control.",-0.3952,negative,devastated
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,1,"I'm not karma hoarding, so by all means downvote if you want. I never truly get any compliments and my love life is as dead as a dinosaur. I feel bad for asking but I'd like some positivity to wake up to in a few hours. Thanks for taking the time to think about me :)",0.9387,positive,grateful
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",listener_1,2,"I like how you managed to encorperate dinosaurs into the post, 10000/10",0.3612,positive,impressed
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,3,Thank you so much kind stranger!!,0.7758,positive,sympathizing
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,4,And I love you for taking a little time of your day to make a brother happy :),0.8979,positive,grateful
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,5,"The fact that you were willing to write such a big paragraph for me truly amazes me! Thank you so much for the kind words, this was great waking up to. And hell yes I'll watch that awful Aladdin remake today",0.8883,positive,grateful
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",listener_2,6,"Yes!! Sometimes watching awful movies is the best way to go.  What I do, is I watch Twilight when I start to have an empty feeling in me. The movies are pretty bad, but I loved them when I was younger, so it really makes me feel happy now.  Also, they just put Frozen 2 on Disney Plus, and that’s definitely worth a watch (or five, if you’re me).",0.964,positive,sad
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,7,"Haha absolutely! Twilight is the perfect shitshow tbh. When I'm down I also like to watch the Jurassic Park trilogy, makes me feel young again",0.8588,positive,agreeing
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",listener_2,8,"Yes!! Nostalgic movies are always the best.  And it really is. But, something about it made 12 year old me happy, so it’s making 17 year old me happy. Just wishing I could find my Edward Cullen blanket... that’s the ultimate nostalgia kick.  I hope you get to feeling better, and don’t hesitate to reach out!! I’m here to talk about whatever you need.",0.9777,positive,nostalgic
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,9,"I feel much better already! And yes I'll definitely let you know if I need to talk, thanks brother!!",0.9017,positive,agreeing
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",listener_2,10,Sounds great!! Hope you have a wonderful day. 💕,0.9484,positive,encouraging
1057,MentalHealthSupport,"Kinda going through some shit rn, can you send me some kind comments for me to wake up to?",speaker,11,"Thank you,! You enjoy your days as well and stay healthy <3.  Sorry for the delayed response, was busy hiking in the woods and working",0.8221,positive,sympathizing
1058,MentalHealthSupport,"There's more to it, right?",speaker,1,"According to my psychiatrist, I have childhood trauma.  I was diagnosed with depressive disorder. I agree that I am depressed but that only covers half of the issue.   1. I get overtly angry at people who do not deserve it. I'm irritable at times.   2. I have very few friends. My social life was never good because of some abandonment and relocation thangs. I know how to talk and ""make friends"" but never stick through with the relationship because I'm use to being left and i don't like people who i truly let in leaving.   3. I get really hyper from nowhere and it can range from a day to 2 days, I think. I'm absolutely high on life and feel unstoppable. When like this, i get quite scared, I sweat and peers look at me odd. This might happen 2-3 times a month.  I don't do anything crazy like spending all my savings. Then have a mood shift.    4. I have these realizations that I'm hollow.  In the sense you think and then ""hollow"" as in I don't recognize my hands. I do not feel attached to myself almost like a dream. I'll eventually wake up from a coma.   5. I go elsewhere. Dissociate. I zone out and go away quite often.  When walking,  driving,  talking,  etc. This happens quite often in a given day.    6. I do self harm and have ideation but have never made any plans.  I also consume alcohol to numb these emotions.  Honestly,  i don't why i consume. I just know it makes me feel better.   7. I have a significant other who is unaware of my ideations, except for the depression. I try to act normal and not express how i really feel because i don't want to scare them.   Maybe I'm over thinking it and might be wanting more explanation. I don't want to pay again for another appointment.... tooo costly.",-0.8425,negative,lonely
1058,MentalHealthSupport,"There's more to it, right?",listener_1,2,"You need to tell those  symptoms to your doc, otherwise he ll assume you are just depressed.I m not a medical professional, but from what you discribed you may be Bi-polar.The irritability, hyperness and top-of-the world feeling sound like a manic state to me.Especially if you are usually chill and more depressed, but then go back to being restless.I hope that description made sense. Try to be brave and tell your partner about those other things.Just assure her/him that you will never do anything to hurt them and you love them and really need them to love you and accept you.On your good and on your bad days.At the end of the day, its an illness and just like any other physical illness it does not define all of who you are and it can be managed.Good luck-hugs",0.935,positive,agreeing
1058,MentalHealthSupport,"There's more to it, right?",speaker,3,Thanks! Made perfect sense.,0.784,positive,acknowledging
1059,MentalHealthSupport,How do I tell my mum that I want to go to a therapist?,speaker,1,"I’m not sure if this is the right place for this, but I came here out of desperation. I think I might have depression. Of course, this hasn’t been diagnosed, but I have aches and pains that are unexplained, I feel worthless. I get so quick to anger ( I yelled at my sister for watching a youtube video, which has never happened before). I have lost weight, as even when I get brought my favourite food I have to force it down my throat as it makes me nauseous. I can’t fall asleep and then I don’t stay asleep. I’m always shaking. I don’t feel myself anymore. I’m always in a sad or irritated mood. It isn’t me. My mum has noticed but I didn’t know how to form my words to tell her then. I’m sick of feeling like I am going to throw up and crying or just feeling like crap. I have moments where I feel happy, but then everything comes crashing back down.  My mum is mildly accepting about mental illness, but I’m scared she won’t believe me, or tell my dad and he will make jokes and pike fun about it. Or she will say that it is because of my period. I know it isn’t, because I have been feeling this way for over three months and it has just gotten worse with time and moving to another state. I feel like I need help, but I don’t know how to ask. And it will be extremely awkward if my conservative uncle (who is staying with us for a bit) finds out, because he thinks that you can just ‘be happy.’  I don’t know whether I should text her to avoid my Uncle over hearing, or try and find a chance to tell her. I know I am going to cry if I tell her in person, and then I won’t be able to get my point across clearly, or have her understand me.  Can anyone help?",-0.9855,negative,ashamed
1059,MentalHealthSupport,How do I tell my mum that I want to go to a therapist?,listener_1,2,"It scary having to open up about depression. I think you should ask to talk to her in private. It would be better to do it in person, over text I think lessens how effective it could be. If you do cry, it's okay. In my experience, it's normal too. It also normal to feel anxious about opening up because you're not too sure about how they'll respond. Just tell her that you want to talk in private. Say you haven't been feeling well and you feel as if you're depressed. It might sound a little weird but it's good if you cry. You'll be able to let out your thoughts to her and she might be able to see how serious it's affecting you. If not, tell her. Writing a letter might be another way too, if you feel as if you're not ready to speak yet. It'll start the conversation and make it more private than just sending a text. That's just how I see it though. Do you think she'll get mad at you?",-0.9266,negative,apprehensive
1059,MentalHealthSupport,How do I tell my mum that I want to go to a therapist?,speaker,3,"I don’t think she will get mad, but she might be upset with the fact I didn’t tell her sooner or that I told her af a bad time, or something similar to that. (Thank you for the advice)",-0.7906,negative,neutral
1059,MentalHealthSupport,How do I tell my mum that I want to go to a therapist?,listener_1,4,"Explain to her how you were scared because of how she'd react and how hard it was to even speak about it. And the thing about the bad time, if its about something that serious, there is no bad time. If you do decide to do it, I hope it goes well.",-0.0644,negative,questioning
1059,MentalHealthSupport,How do I tell my mum that I want to go to a therapist?,speaker,5,Thank you. I think I might write a letter since I am worse at speaking about things like this,0.2263,positive,embarrassed
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,1,"I have an anxiety disorder that I'm in therapy for and I also have mindfulness classes, so I'm working through a lot lately. I used to bury my emotions and now I give them a little more space to just be, but it's still hard for me. I'm trying to finish my studies right now, so I have to write about half of my thesis still and I'm doing an internship that's a little weird now that I have to work from home due to corona. A while ago, i found out my best friend doesn't like/trust my boyfriend because he apparently made her other best friend very uncomfortable the only time they've ever met. I can't really deal with that, because I hate arguments and I'm also very bad at keeping my mouth shut. Basically, I feel like I can't talk to my friend about my boyfriend and I'd rather not talk to my boyfriend about my best friend, because I don't want him to feel like he's the bad guy (since he never made the friend uncomfortable on purpose). Problem is, outside of my family, they are the most important people in my life.  Due to the stress all this stuff is giving me, I distance myself emotionally from my best friend whilst overwhelming my boyfriend with my emotions. I feel like a bad friend and a bad girlfriend. I feel like the things I do are never enough and that it's selfish to be unhappy, because it makes the people around me unhappy. What is something uplifting you can tell me? How can I create a space for myself, where the troubles of my loved ones are not more important than my own?",0.8915,positive,lonely
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,listener_1,2,"Hi buddy, what I do when I can't talk to certain people about things is journal. I journal as if the journal is a series of letters so that if I ever want to tell them about it, I can. Your brain is lying to you when you're thinking that you aren't worth it. Trust your relationships",-0.8064,negative,trusting
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,3,"That's not a bad idea. I do sometimes write things down in word and save them half of the time, throw them away the other half, but maybe keeping a physical journal will help too.",0.7632,positive,suggesting
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,listener_1,4,"Another part of journaling is that I journal when I feel like it's the end of the world so when I journal again, I read through old entries and get in the mentality of ""I overcame that (whatever the previous entry was about) , I will overcome this (whatever I'm about to write about) too""",0.3612,positive,hopeful
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,5,Started my diary today and it already helped me :) Thanks!,0.7345,positive,acknowledging
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,6,"Thank you so much :) I'm glad to hear you feel better now. I personally have an aversion against medication that I don't \*really\* need, so as long as I can get by without, I will try that.   Yesterday I felt really bad about my boyfriend, because he actually told me I was overburdening him - like, he is really sensitive to negative energy and he said he is getting a bit apprehensive about hanging out with me, because he knows I'm going to cry at some point and it just takes a lot of energy for him. (I know that makes him sound like a dong, but he was just being open about his feelings and I appreciate that). I told him to be honest about it next time and if he felt like he couldn't handle it anymore, he can tell me and just take a walk or so, so that I can try some meditation, or just cry my eyes out and feel better when he returns.  I also feel like I'm not committed enough to our relationship. Like, he knows I'm always there for him (I've helped him through a depression when we just got together, years ago), but I sometimes feel like I'm not 'happy' enough with him. I can have a lot of fun with my friends, but with him, I tend to let my mind drift off. I think it's mainly because my friends are all very enthousiastic about small talk and make believe (I like writing stories with my friends), where he is more down to earth and likes cuddling and silence. It gives me more time to think and get emotional. He doesn't provide me with escapism, which is probably a good thing, but it does make me as scared of my own emotions as he is of mine \^\^'",0.9897,positive,guilty
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,7,"Thank you :) I feel a bit better now. I talked about it with my best friend, which was scary, but it helped a bit. This weekend, I will see my boyfriend and I've also asked him what a good moment is to talk about serious stuff, since I don't want to bother him when he can't process it (he's pretty sensitive to negative vibes and it overstimulates him easily). So I will probably be able to voice my troubles to him as well.  I think one of the problems is that it's always about happiness. My friends want me to be 'happy' but I'm usually not, right now, which only increases my sense of guilt. Pretty lame. Like, my best friend honestly wants me to be happy with my boyfriend, even thought she doesn't like him. I'm not really 'happy' with him right now, because I feel insecure and anxious, so yeah... But like I said, I'm going to talk to him about that, so I think things will become better. Holding back emotions to not hurt one another has already broken us up one time, so let's not do that again \^\^'  I'm already seeing a professional... although 'seeing' is not really an option right now, but she calls me on the phone sometimes now.   I did enter the discord server, so maybe that can be of help in the future :)",0.9939,positive,trusting
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,listener_2,8,"My username for the discord is the same username I use here so if you have any questions, you could ask the admin/mod team, which I am on, or any of them members. My DMs are open as well if you aren't comfy with sharing some things in the public chats :)",0.0176,neutral,trusting
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,speaker,9,Thanks man :),0.7096,positive,wishing
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,listener_3,10,>:)  :),0.4588,positive,acknowledging
1060,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like I'm not worth it,listener_2,11,Of course :),0.4588,positive,agreeing
1061,MentalHealthSupport,"18 year old here, is a loan a bad idea?",speaker,1,"Looking for adult opinions, I’m in a situation where I’m not financially stable and I’m stuck living at home with my parents in a place that isn’t really a home. We’ve been living in a hotel for the past three years, this hotel and I have a very long history of suicide attempts and it is a trigger for me just existing in this space. My parents don’t understand how just living here and now in an actual home though we can afford it is dangerous for me and makes my mental health decline to the tiniest inconveniences because my living situation is such a burden already dragging my depression out. Not only that, but I go to school 40 minutes away and all of my friends live 40 minutes away. My doctors are 40 minutes away, basically we used to live somewhere else 40 minutes away but I believe they purposely moved me this far as an attempt to isolate me from everyone and everything that makes me happy and keeps me sane. Both my mom and my dad are emotionally abusive and every time I get any sort of independence they try to credit it as their own doing somehow.   I’ve tried waiting on them to take initiative, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon and I need to start taking care of myself. I’m currently working as a freelance camera man and editor, I’ve just opened both of my shops and I’m booked right now for a $300 gig but that’s about the only thing bringing money in and it’s not that stable of a career. I’m also a part time student so I can’t do a whole lot. There’s also not a lot of family to help me get out of here, there’s a basement I could rent for $900 a month and an apartment I could rent for $1,300 a month, I know there are a bunch of other financial struggles I would run into so idk if it’s worth it. My credit is great and I qualify for a loan, but is it worth the risk or should I try to ride it out a little longer until I can actually afford it myself?",0.9086,positive,lonely
1061,MentalHealthSupport,"18 year old here, is a loan a bad idea?",listener_1,2,"Craigslist. Find a room with like 3-4 roommates. That’s your best bet.   What I will say is if it really is that bad then just do it. Jump out and try because it sounds like anything would be better than the situation you are currently in.  You probably will qualify for government help too, take this question to a few other subreddits like rpersonalfinance and such to get real advice",0.9107,positive,suggesting
1061,MentalHealthSupport,"18 year old here, is a loan a bad idea?",speaker,3,"Okay I will try that reddit page, I just really need out but Also I want to be safe. Thank you.",0.8402,positive,trusting
1062,MentalHealthSupport,I want to feel better/normal again,speaker,1,"I have always had bad anxiety, but for the last month or so, my anxiety and stress level has been through the roof, and I'm unsure what's caused it. It has stopped me from eating properly. I feel nauseous 24/7 and can barely stomach any food. I also am having trouble getting to sleep. I feel tired and run down constantly. At my job which I normally love, I've started feeling constantly stressed, I no longer feel like I can take day to day life in my stride. Everything seems so much more difficult, stressful, tiring.  My mood is up and down, tonight I have cried and cried because I'm scared I will always have this anxiety for the rest of my life and that it would be easier to just not wake up tomorrow, than to have to live like this. I feel so alone and I wish I knew the root of the problem so I could fix it. I don't really know the point of this post, so I hope its allowed.",-0.9814,negative,anxious
1062,MentalHealthSupport,I want to feel better/normal again,listener_1,2,It's exhausting...I understand where you're at. <3,0.0,neutral,agreeing
1062,MentalHealthSupport,I want to feel better/normal again,speaker,3,"Thank you for taking the time to write this. I hope my brain will decide it's enough soon and I can get back to normal.   I'm just trying to take things a bit at a time. Get out of bed, get ready, drive to work etc. The worst time is on a night when I'm on my own. I feel too exhausted mentally and physically to do anything, and yet doing nothing is worse because the anxiety becomes more unbearable when there is nothing to distract me.   Outside of work I don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to. It's hard to explain because I don't know the reason that I sometimes feel this way.   I'll give the breathing exercises a go anyway. Thank you again, and I really hope that you don't get back to this place too.",0.7371,positive,anxious
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,1,"The last 7 months have been hell. I (19m) was discharged from the army because i let my emotions get the better of me, shortly after I went into a depressive spiral. I tried talking to family and friends about it and all I get is “that’s life” or “things will get better soon”. The love of my life was the only person truly there for me. And I ended up pushing her away and ruining our relationship past the point of salvage. I turned to drinking to ease the pain, it wasn’t smart but it helped. It got to the point I was drinking every chance I had and would wake up without any memory of the previous day. I’ve tried to slow down but I always end up drinking again. I went 7 days without drinking a drop of alcohol , 2 days ago I received a phone call that my cousin killed himself.... we were really close and had just talked a few days before hand and everything seemed fine. I can’t help but feel guilty like I should’ve been there for him. The day After that I was invited to a party, there was alcohol. I drunk for a solid 4 hours straight, I didn’t want to be in the environment I was in so I decided to sober up and drive home. A few hours later I’m a block away from my house and I ran into a ditch, to make another long story short I was arrested and charged with 3 different crimes and was in jail until the next day (today) and all I can do is shake and try not to cry. I’ve ruined my life, all my friends and family despise me, the girl I was with for over a year and on the verge of proposing to won’t acknowledge my existence. I hate myself so much and can’t help but think this world would be a better place without me in it...",0.8403,positive,devastated
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,listener_1,2,"The world isn't a better place without you. The guilt you feel right now might be an indicator that you are a good person. You want to be good. You want to help people, you want to be there for them. Right now, you need people to help you and you need to help yourself. The will to do that is enough to find the strenght. You've been sober for 7 days before and you will be able to pull that off again.  Also, cry, it really helps. It might feel overwhelming at first, but you'll feel better afterwards.   Try to find help if you can. Do you have a therapist?",0.9313,positive,faithful
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,3,"I don’t, I don’t have any type of insurance and can’t afford one",0.0,neutral,afraid
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,listener_1,4,"Is there any type of goodwill counceling or so in your area? Some local government thing that you can turn to? Idk how all that stuff works and I don't know where you live. Here in the Netherlands it's usually possible to get help, even if you don't have money, but I suppose in the US for example (where probably most redditors live?) it's harder.",0.2937,positive,questioning
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,5,Yes it’s very hard here without having a lot of money,0.2516,positive,neutral
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,listener_1,6,"As long as you have even the slightest bit of hope and will to go on, I think you have the power to try. Look at it this way: your life is a mess right now, so it can only get better.   Try to take care of yourself, one small step at a time. Try to shower regularly, take a walk in the morning (if you're allowed to, with all this corona madness xD) eat breakfast every day, brush your teeth. I get that emotions can weigh someone down a lot and that you probably don't have much energy during the day. Accept that from yourself. Tell yourself to use the energy you have as good as possible, even if that just means getting out of bed, eating something healthy and getting back into bed. Tell yourself that every healthy thing you do is better than drinking, so be proud if you accomplish even a little thing.  I'm not a therapist, of course, but if you need some positivity and someone to cheer for you, I'm here :)",0.9772,positive,hopeful
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,7,Thank you so much! I appreciate you talking to me it’s meant a lot these past few days,0.6962,positive,grateful
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,listener_1,8,"No problem, bro. If I can take 5 minutes of my day to type a positive message that can potentially save a life, why wouldn't I :)",0.7634,positive,confident
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,9,"Thank you , that’s means a lot. You’ve given me a lot of hope these past two days.",0.6597,positive,grateful
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,listener_2,10,love all. fear none. holler at me anytime,0.25,positive,agreeing
1063,MentalHealthSupport,I’m at the end of my rope,speaker,11,Same here man,0.0,neutral,jealous
1064,MentalHealthSupport,"Why did I love being healthy before, but now I’m afraid of it ?",speaker,1,"I’m 5’5 170~ 20 yr old female, as of this morning. Same time a year ago I was 125. A year before that I was 110.  I went through many homes after I turned 15. I was in foster care. I’ve always been generally chubby ranging in weight from 145 - 183. After I entered foster care about half a year after I dropped to 107. I was decently happy, loved to workout, had a profound sense of adventure and curiosity. Wanted to be an art major.  I was bullied into an eating disorder by my own family, foster parents, and boyfriend. He said my breasts were too small so I ate a large large meal that night. Ever since then I’ve over eaten everyday. Dieting became my life after this and now when I think of trying to be healthy and work out to slim down before it’s too late I feel so exhausted. I feel like it’s going to hurt me, but I’m afraid if i don’t do something now it’ll be too late to come back and my weight will continue to climb. Please someone give me useful and practical heart to heart advice. (I also participated in therapy. Tried to do DBT(?) and It didn’t help at all. Im very practical and nothing a therapist has told me is a new perspective or method.) I used to shame my foster mother in my head because she would constantly be dieting too, and while I seemed to lose weight she wouldn’t lose any and would eat a lot. Little did I know I’d become just like her. I’m so full of myself, and so vain. I’ve always been. Not occupied with others looks only my own. I don’t judge anyone else but myself appearance wise.",0.9557,positive,proud
1064,MentalHealthSupport,"Why did I love being healthy before, but now I’m afraid of it ?",listener_1,2,"I felt like I wasn't able to give you advice until I read you last two lines. "" I’m so full of myself, and so vain. I’ve always been. Not occupied with others looks only my own.""   What do you mean by that? Do you think it's bad to care about your looks? Do you hate the fact that you care about your looks? Do you feel like dieting makes you vain? That might be a problem and the cause for you to be scared of being healty.",-0.8682,negative,ashamed
1064,MentalHealthSupport,"Why did I love being healthy before, but now I’m afraid of it ?",speaker,3,"Actually, yes. I hate that I care so much about how I look. It’s all I’ve thought about literally my entire life. I was a child model and then gained weight in my preteens/teens over which my mother singled me out and called me things like piglet. I’ve always been the fat one. I don’t know what’s right for me. I almost feel like I gained weight because I didn’t want to think about dieting anymore. I feel as though constantly dieting makes people 1. Believe I have an eating disorder (I did but I’ve contained the hatred for my body and have accepted myself a little too much) or 2. Makes people think I’m preoccupied with my body and it’s especially embarrassing when I stop dieting and gain more weight in front of them. I feel like a huge failure, it’s like everytime I’ve tried logging it’s not worked. I would overeat in highschool, but I still reached a low weight because I took busses and was in class full time. Now I drive and am able to sit on my butt. Would go walking but after thinking about how many times I’ve pushed myself during workouts only to overeat and continue to gain weight burns me alive. I feel like working out only leads to overeating which makes me feel terrible: what’s the point in exercise if I will end up hating my body even more at the end of the day ? Life seems so pointless.",0.2895,positive,ashamed
1065,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of support.,speaker,1,"I've been trying to get myself to a support group for the last couple of weeks but I get part way there and start flipping out. Why is it so hard to allow myself to be supported? I've been bottling things up for so long that I don't know how to open up anymore. I'm going to try again tonight, hopefully I'll make it into the building at least today.",0.8315,positive,trusting
1065,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of support.,listener_1,2,"How about you go there and you just express how hard you find it to be there? Just say   ""Hello, I am AnDyDeVoN and it takes a lot for me to even be here. I find it hard to express myself. I want to be in this support group, but I need to feel safe first.""  Or don't say that in the group, but in a private conversation to one of the people leading it. Maybe you can just sit in, listen to others and that might help you open up after a while.",0.8486,positive,suggesting
1065,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of support.,speaker,3,That's kinda what I'm thinking. Last week I missed the bus and by the time the next one turned up I was in a mess. I'd been berating myself for allowing myself to get so bad that I needed to be going in the first place. I need to be more gentle with myself as it's all building again already. I'm gonna make it tonight though. I'm going to take my brother for moral support. He'll make sure I get there.,-0.2496,negative,trusting
1065,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of support.,listener_1,4,"Good on you! And sure, it's embarrasing to admit to yourself that you can't deal with everything alone, but then again, who can? You must be the luckiest person in the world, or a complete psychopath if your emotions never get the better of you.  I hope you find the help you need at that support group :)",0.9682,positive,consoling
1065,MentalHealthSupport,Scared of support.,speaker,5,Thank you.,0.3612,positive,wishing
1066,MentalHealthSupport,Do you use this forum for mental health support? PLEASE help me out with my dissertation!,speaker,1,"Hello everyone! I’m currently a third year psychology with counselling student, and my dissertation surrounds the positive use of social media and the relationship with mental wellbeing.  Do you remember your parents saying social media was “no good”? Yeah.... me too. However, I am well aware of the immense support and comfort social media can bring to people and this lead me to want to prove that there IS something good that can come out of social media!  Please, if you’re 18 or older, take 10 minutes out of your day to help me with my dissertation! ALL anonymous! THANK YOU :)   [mental wellbeing and social media ](https://teesside.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/mental-wellbeing-and-the-impact-of-social-media)",0.9792,positive,hopeful
1066,MentalHealthSupport,Do you use this forum for mental health support? PLEASE help me out with my dissertation!,listener_1,2,gotchu girl,0.0,neutral,jealous
1066,MentalHealthSupport,Do you use this forum for mental health support? PLEASE help me out with my dissertation!,speaker,3,thank u so much it really helps 🥺🥺,0.659,positive,acknowledging
1067,MentalHealthSupport,Childhood Abuse Survivor turned Trauma Informed Life Coach for other Survivors of Domestic Abuse -- Free Resources,speaker,1,"Hello everyone! I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect. I have spent my ENTIRE life learning about psychology to try to understand what happened to me, why, and the effect it has had on me and my life. I spent so much of my life trying to figure these things out and then trying to heal from the traumas. There was a long period of my life where I was just completely miserable, hopeless, angry, scared, worried, sad, hurt, depressed, anxious, and so on…    I have since turned my life around completely. I started my first business while I was completing school for counselling. At the same time, I was still working through therapy. When I accomplished all I could through therapy, I was in a stable place. I was able to function and survive. However, I still wasn’t living the life I wanted and had no idea HOW to get it.    This is when I hired my first Business Coach. Working with her, I learned a ton about coaching, an area I knew nothing about. After gaining some different skills through Coaching, I was able to finally pinpoint what it was that I needed after my completion of therapy left me stable, but aimless: a Coach.    I needed a Coach who had a background in mental health work. I needed a Coach who understood what I was going through, what I had done in therapy, and what I should focus on or work towards next. Unfortunately for me, this type of Coach didn’t yet exist. Instead of this discouraging me, I decided to become this Coach instead.    I have taken my experience previously working as a Probation Officer, my education and experience in psychology and counselling, and my experience and passion as a survivor of domestic abuse and created a Trauma Informed Life Coaching program. This program empowers survivors of any type of abuse at any point in their lives to break the negative conditioning the abuse as had on them and to create and live a life that is genuinely happy, healthy, and successful.    I have also created a social media platform associated with my Life Coaching practice to provide as much free information, support, and resources as possible to any and all survivors that are interested (including a 3 day workshop about anxiety):  Instagram: [https://www.instagram.com/lifepluscoaching/](https://www.instagram.com/lifepluscoaching/)   Facebook: LifePlus Coaching – [https://www.facebook.com/lifepluscoaches/?eid=ARC0AvvPKf7bqkk0rOelYUAP0OMDnJfksifhgacPokqmZsW\_QrzGpJwlMZbC0lThgiNmleAgBOlIsgk2](https://www.facebook.com/lifepluscoaches/?eid=ARC0AvvPKf7bqkk0rOelYUAP0OMDnJfksifhgacPokqmZsW_QrzGpJwlMZbC0lThgiNmleAgBOlIsgk2)   Facebook Group: Better Than Okay – [https://www.facebook.com/groups/637665736992253/?ref=direct](https://www.facebook.com/groups/637665736992253/?ref=direct)   Website: LifePlusHelp.com",-0.9032,negative,devastated
1067,MentalHealthSupport,Childhood Abuse Survivor turned Trauma Informed Life Coach for other Survivors of Domestic Abuse -- Free Resources,listener_1,2,Thankyou for this. For sharing your personal experience while also providing resources. Just Thankyou!,0.4753,positive,grateful
1067,MentalHealthSupport,Childhood Abuse Survivor turned Trauma Informed Life Coach for other Survivors of Domestic Abuse -- Free Resources,speaker,3,It is my absolute honour and privilege to be able to! ❤️🙏🏼😊,0.9098,positive,grateful
1068,MentalHealthSupport,Constant fat shaming by family members led up to social anxiety and serious self worth issues,speaker,1,"Yeah. Title sums it up.  Never thought I would end up putting this on the internet but yeah. My family has been fat shaming me for as far as I can remember. And they don't stop ever. Recently they picked up an old picture of mine (5 years back) and said that I looked so much better and skinnier back then. I was told that I looked ugly even back then. And I am being told that even now. When you are younger, you get bullied for being fat. Funny part is that I never got bullied head on. I am assuming that my classmates would make fun of me behind my back. I used to get bullied by my parents for being fat and eating excessively.   I am 21F South East Asian and being skinny is required for women to be even accepted as one. Soon I will be forced to get married and if you aren't skinny you aren't qualified to be a bride (I don't want to be one either but lol that is a different breakdown.) I am 98% sure that this constant pressure on me to loose weight and primarily to eat less (because eating is the only way you gain weight no other reasons obviously right) has made me socially anxious. I always feel like I am taking up more space or that people don't want to see my stupid fat face. I cannot eat peacefully when I am in a social setting because my brain constantly recites ""people are looking at you and judging you for stuffing your face."" I feel guilty for borrowing food from my friends because my brain immediately wires it to eating more than already given hence gaining more weight. I legit say ""sorry for eating all your food away"" everytime I borrow something as small as a cookie. I don't think this is normal. To explain the extent of this problem, off late I have been eating only one meal a day and that makes me feel sick and guilty. I HAVE BEEN FEELING GUILTY TO EVEN EAT.   I cannot proceed to live like this. I want to be able to help people in the future and be successful. My mental issues with self worth are a serious hurdle for me to face. I know that I can do much better if I could raise my self esteem and I have tried so many ways. I have failed. And I really need help. I cannot let my own family pull me down.   Any form of help is truly appreciated.",0.9527,positive,annoyed
1068,MentalHealthSupport,Constant fat shaming by family members led up to social anxiety and serious self worth issues,listener_1,2,"As a technician, I once attended a meeting for overweight girls who were celebrating their bodies. It was so beautiful to see them gain strenght through each other. They expressed their insecurities, their discomforts, they validated each other and they had some fun workshops like 'jiggling around', because they wanted to have fun with their bodies and do what skinny girls can't do.  I think there's a lot of online body positivity for example on instagram, tumblr or other media that I don't know about xD Maybe it's an idea to search for a group of community that you can identify with.   I mean, sure, being skinny is the 'beauty standard', but the only thing that really makes anyone beautiful is confidence. You are worth it and you are not alone.",0.9789,positive,impressed
1068,MentalHealthSupport,Constant fat shaming by family members led up to social anxiety and serious self worth issues,speaker,3,"Yeah online communities are of great help but that doesn't defer the fact that society is still mean and discriminative of people who don't fit in the society's norm. Years of self deprecation does things to your confidence, hopefully I can fight back.  Thanks a lot for the support.",0.9491,positive,encouraging
1068,MentalHealthSupport,Constant fat shaming by family members led up to social anxiety and serious self worth issues,listener_1,4,"Yeah, it's tough, but I guess online communities are better than nothing?",0.6369,positive,neutral
1068,MentalHealthSupport,Constant fat shaming by family members led up to social anxiety and serious self worth issues,speaker,5,Yeah...,0.29600000000000004,positive,agreeing
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",speaker,1,"So, a bit earlier today, some of my family (my dad and some brothers) were talking in the living room casually, just normal conversation between us.  My dad then brings up how I need to take care of my hair, which I've been neglecting because I never cared and I couldn't bring myself to start (instead just sitting in the shower for hours, attempting and failing and hating myself for not being able to untangle my hair).   The way he was talking, he just thought I was being lazy, and I wanted to explain myself. So, when I thought the time was right, I started to put my hand up subtly, as a gesture to ask to speak, and my dad immediately shot me down, telling me to listen, since I often do this to add notes or something.  And something about being shot down, about the tone he used, and other reasons I don't know, I froze. My throat started to feel choked (it still kinda hurts and takes effort to talk), I balled up as a sort of defense mechanism I think (idk), and I started crying. Any sort of touch would make me flinch far more than what would be reasonable, and all thoughts sort of just, disappeared, which is odd for me because I often think too much. I don't even remember what we were talking about before my hair came up, but the conversation literally just happened like 5 minutes ago.  This has happened multiple times over the last, I think 2 years, and I still don't have any idea as to why, and I'm completely lost. I've felt like I've never even known what I've felt for so long, and this reaction to any sort of pressure, be it from school or family, has done nothing but made me feel even more lost and get me tickets to the counselor, which hasn't been of help.  I really hope y'all have a decent day/night/whatever, and hope that the next one will be tolerable.",-0.7669,negative,surprised
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",listener_1,2,"I'm not an expert on it, but it might be a sort of panic attack? Or at least some kind of defense mechanism that you've developed for some reason. Do you have any negative experiences with being put under pressure?   (Everything below are assumptions and the projection of my own anxiety, so I hope it helps, but if it doesn't, or it doesn't sound right, ignore it)  You say that you hate yourself when you aren't able to untangle your hair. I don't know whether you use that as a hyperbole or if the feelings are really that intense, but it seems that you've got quite a low self-esteem (and your name suggests the same). Maybe pressure, especially the kind that you father put on you by telling you to take better care of yourself, confirms your negative self image. You know your hair is a mess, maybe along with other things in your life and as long as you keep that to yourself, it's manageble. Controlable. As soon as someone else talks about it, it becomes something that exists in the real world, which is terrifying.  This is just my train of thought, based on what you wrote, so don't take it for gospel!   I wonder if you only experience these kinds of feelings/physical reactions when the subject is you or something you 'fail' at, or if there are other triggers that cause this.  Also, when it comes to your hair, I don't know how attached you are to your long, tangly hair, but you can of course just cut if off ;)",-0.9792,negative,anxious
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",speaker,3,"I think you're right about the defense mechanism thing. I've had alot of pressure to be perfect in every aspect, being the youngest of 4, and the only daughter, and being ""gifted"" like my brothers before me. It put me on a pedestal for simply being the daughter my parents wanted, and it made the expectations I had to fulfill from the start a bit high.  The fact that I was a ""gifted"" student meant that I didn't have to try, and yet I maintained perfect grades. I became a perfectionist overtime, straight up crying when I failed an assignment for the first time.   I didn't fulfill my parents expectations for me as their daughter, and I didn't fulfill what I thought was the expectations for a ""gifted"" kid, and eventually, my grades, on which I connected a large part of my identity, started to decline, and so I went down with them.  I felt worthless because I wasn't the best in the class, and that made me feel even worse, and created a cycle of worsening grades and worsening self worth. I can't talk to anyone else, either, because that made it everyone else's problem. That made it something that weighed down on everyone I cared about, and it made everything all the more real.  I didn't care about myself anymore, but I still didn't want to burden anyone with this, and so I bottled up my feelings. For so long, I've never let myself feel anything but happiness, and I went on autopilot. I didn't feel, I didn't do things for myself, I just did whatever I could throughout the day.  And I think that that's the source of my defense mechanism. I didn't allow myself to feel, but the emotions don't just dissapear. They build up, and something, eventually, sparks the emotion into an explosion, but I still do my best to not feel. I instead shut down and freeze, since if I do nothing, I don't show my emotions, and can't elaborate, and so everyone else can just ignore me.  But I honestly don't know. Its like 4 am right now for me, and I haven't been able to sleep.  And I really want to cut my hair, but my mom doesn't want me to, and my dad said that I have to take care of my now hair first. I kinda just dug myself into a hole deeper than I can climb up.",0.8902,positive,confident
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",listener_1,4,"Believe it or not, but I understand you completely. I'm gifted as well and never had to make any effort until I graduated high school. I didn't have the highest marks, because I cared more for other stuff, but I could easily have high enough marks to pass without ever really studying. I think everyone needs something to rely on when it comes to their self-esteem. For me that was the fact that I was quick to understand things and I could draw really well.  Then I went to art school and had to drop out after 3,5 years because I just couldn't keep up anymore. I had already had to redo one of my years and the pressure was just too much. My creativity was dried out and I had taken on a very big project that was going absolutely nowhere. I took half a year off and just used it to write smutty fanfictions with a friend who had also dropped out. The only thing that really kept me going was the idea of starting a new studies the next year.  The problem with this kind of things is that it's hard to pity yourself for having it easy. ""My intelligence is such a burden for me! Pity me!"" ""Oh no, I am so talented, eheu!"" I know a lot of people with an above average intelligence who struggle with these kinds of things, and I at least have the luck that my parents are very open and accepting towards me, even when something doesn't work out. People who struggle in childhood might have a bad childhood, but at least it's quite easy for them to 'get better'. If you are on top of the game in your childhood, the rest of your life will at least for a part be filled with disappointment, which is not something you ever got used to.  I think it's clear you need a better way of expressing your emotions. It talking to people scares you, or you don't want to burden them (honestly, if you have any good friends, I'm sure they won't mind), you can find other things to do. Maybe you can express yourself in some form of art? Drawing, writing, dance, music? I started a journal recently, which can also be a great help. Meditation and just being in the moment is nice too. There is a lot of positive ways to deal with emotions, so maybe there is a couple that you could use to at least release a bit of the pressure, because what's happening now isn't healty.",0.9965,positive,confident
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",speaker,5,"I have tried to draw and write to express my emotion, and while I love doing both and plan on pursuing those things, I never had the ability to do that sort of thing where I think it'd matter most. Alot of the times when I feel like I need to vent, it's when I have to do something and can't, because it's while my attention needs to be elsewhere, and I can't just drop it to vent. Because I can't really vent where it matters most, I haven't ever been able to capture the emotion and make an effort to understand them.  I have found that listening to music helps to calm me down, so I have an idea on what to do when that'd be needed, but for venting I haven't found anything yet. I'll try to get a small note/sketchbook on me, since it'd easier to pull out and use discreetly, and it could be what I need, but that isn't something I could get right now, because Covid-19 exists and I don't want to infect my baby cousin.",0.8479,positive,sad
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",listener_1,6,"Maybe try and scedule a time to vent in your daily routine? Just take like 15 minutes every day where you put on headphones with music on high volume (without hurting your ears ofc ;) ) and dance around your room or whatever. Just do something crazy every day. Maybe it will ease the pressure on other moments.   And sometimes, don't care about social norms xD I've had times where I just had a huge urge to move around, so I did (tried) some push-ups in the university library. Yeah, people might look weird, but generally, they don't care what you do as long as you're not bothering them. Maybe if you're homestuck due to covid-19, it's somewhat harder to achieve tho, if there are only people close who know you and might judge.  If you're trying to do something at home that isn't due on a specific time, it's also no bad idea to just take a break to vent. For me personally, if I'm very frustreted, I like it most to do something very physical, like dancing, push-ups, star jumps, something uncomplicated that uses my whole body. Writing (and drawing, sometimes) work best for me when I feel sad or anxious. This probably varies per person tho xD",0.9663,positive,suggesting
1069,MentalHealthSupport,"I freeze when I have to deal with any sort of pressure, and I don't know why.",speaker,7,"I am terrible at keeping a set schedule for things, but I do think that just taking a break and just doing whatever is a good idea. I see it maybe as food or water or something. If ya put it off, then things are going to hurt and be ungood.   So maybe it'd be best if I do it while I'm eating/getting water. I'm already taking a break to do basic human needs, why not listen to something while eating (and grab a cup of water) and multitask? It's better than just eating with nothing else to do, right?  I don't like doing physical things at all, besides walking, but I really like video games (especially story based ones), and are something that I really enjoy, so maybe that'd also be something that'd work for me? Idk, this is a trial and error sort of thing, so I won't know until I try.",0.9002,positive,suggesting
1070,MentalHealthSupport,My team and I made this simple chatbot that helps with Coronavirus anxiety,speaker,1,My team and I made this simple chatbot that helps with what's been on everyone's minds lately: the coronavirus infection known as COVID-19:     https://coronacoa.ch/?utm\_source=Reddit&utm\_medium=Reddit&utm\_campaign=CoronaCoachLaunch    The goal is simple: to help you cope with the difficult emotions you might be feeling right and provide you with factual and trustworthy information.    Hope you like it!,0.9117,positive,neutral
1070,MentalHealthSupport,My team and I made this simple chatbot that helps with Coronavirus anxiety,listener_1,2,Thanks for this,0.4404,positive,acknowledging
1070,MentalHealthSupport,My team and I made this simple chatbot that helps with Coronavirus anxiety,speaker,3,you're welcome,0.4588,positive,sympathizing
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,1,"As the title states my boyfriend has been extremely depressed the past few weeks to the point where nothing motivates him. He lost all his interests and refuses an suggestions of things we could do together or things to do on his own. We have been together for 4 years and he is usually on and off like this, gets super nilhistic with his depression.   I always try to support him, I'll try sending him memes or videos to look at in Hope's of distracting him but as he says "" he doesnt care about anything anymore and should die alone"".  I try to encourage him and tell him I'm here for him and I'll always be here when he needs me. The problem is that he doesnt believe in mental health, he thinks depression is all in your head and just a way of thinking. I've tried using his logic to help him out saying why not try looking at things so differently, obviously doesnt work. With that being said he hates therapy and refuses to ever go because he thinks psychologists/counsellors or any profession along that line is a bogus money grab   I'm not trying to fix him because he isnt broken I'm just trying to support him through this hard time ( there hasn't been any event to trigger his depression either) but it's starting to take a toll on my own mental health because he is being very cold towards me and he has never been this way before. He full out stopped talking to me today on our anniversary. I know it's not my fault but seeing him like this and the way he has been acting hurts a lot. I dont want to be selfish but I also dont know how to help other than just leave him alone. But with the current pandemic his parents wont let us see each other so my only means of communication is through text. Usually he seems a lot better when he is at my house.  He is also resorting to self medication by ""never being sober again""  I'm kind of panicking because I really dont know what to do. Kind of ironic since I'm studying to be a psychologist lol, I should probably change that profession at this rate lol.  Any advice would be great",-0.8652,negative,caring
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_1,2,"If it's taking a toll on your mental maybe you should step back for a little? It isn't selffish at all, you have been trying to give him the support he needs. Sometimes people just need to be alone for a little to cool down, he might need it in this case. Just let him know that you're there for him whenever he needs it and can reach out whenever. The other thing you can do is talk to him about how it's affecting you. Maybe this might be an eye opener for him.   Does he know anything about depression? About how it's a chemical imbalance and all that? It seems like what's stopping him from getting help is the stigma that surrounds mental health. I'm not sure if this would help but maybe it's good to give a try. Try to give him some information about the illness and how it isn't just a mental thing. Debunk it basically.",0.4713,positive,suggesting
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,3,"I've tried to explain it to him since is what I'm in school for but he also hates topics involving my schooling. He is pretty stubborn and doesnt want to change his views on it. He isnt exactly the sad type either but the type that feels empty . He refuses to accept it even want to be helped in the slightest, he insists there is no reason for it and he has always been like this I try my best to assure I'm here for him. But he also doesnt want to talk about rather just state how he cares about nothing, everything bores him etc.    Its hard to help someone who doesnt want to be helped.",0.9667,positive,annoyed
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_1,4,"It really is hard, I'm really sorry. When it comes to times like this, maybe you should focus on your well being. We can push and prod but the only way someone can truly get help is if they want it. Maybe in time he'll grow out of it, I really hope so.",0.9301,positive,sympathizing
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,5,"I'm really hoping so too, I've never seen it this bad before. Its worrying my quite a bit",-0.5318,negative,hopeful
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,6,"He works from 11 pm -7 am so he doesnt get much sunlight. Barely eats at home (I nag him to eat and pretty much force him to eat at my house even in small portions) and he does work in a warehouse so he does get some exercise lifting heavy boxes....  But here's the thing...he doesnt like being told to or reminded to eat...he barely sleeps because of his work....and the only time he gets sunlight is when he is at my house and wants a cigarette in which I wont let him smoke inside so we go for a walk.  The more I try to more he resents me, or I'm babying/mothering him too much",-0.6739,negative,annoyed
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_2,7,Do you smoke too?  Are you generally happy?  Is there drinking or drugs involved?,0.6416,positive,questioning
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,8,"I dont smoke myself. He does like to smoke weed because as he says "" makes him too stupid to think"". Which I know reliance on weed can cause a lack of appetite when not smoking and sleeping problems but he did have sleeping problems before he started smoking anything.",-0.7579,negative,agreeing
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_2,9,"I know two kinds of pot smokers, and I know a lot of pot smokers.  Those who smoke and it has little affect on their emotional cycles, and those who smoke where it has a great effect on their emotional cycles.  Weed causes sleeping issues.  Sleeping issues causes depression and other problems, can make people manic.",-0.0258,neutral,jealous
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,10,I guess I'm kind of happy lol I have my own mental problems but I'd like to think I'm pretty decent at controlling it,0.8691,positive,proud
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_2,11,"Does he drink caffeine?  Only approx. 1/3 of people out there have the genetic predisposition to properly metabolize caffeine.  Some people don't have the marker to metabolize, and they condition themselves to drink it anyways.  This can be the root of the sleeping issue.  Smoking pot can turn into a situation where insomnia is the punishment for yielding smoking, due to dependency related to smoking pot.  If he quits smoking pot, quits 100% of caffeine consumption, and refrains from all other drugs and alcohol for 6 months, I believe he will develop regular sleeping patterns.  Being on 2nd shift can complicated things too.  Noise and light coming in from windows can interrupt sleeping patterns.  So many variables I know!  I'm a data scientist though, and this is a topic that has interest me for some time, and I've done a fair amount of research on it, and I believe a diet free from drugs and alcohol, and free of processed foods, is the place to start, to determine if other issues exist.",0.7644,positive,apprehensive
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,12,"I've figured it's made his mood worse, atleast when he isnt smoking. Although most of his sleeping problems started even before he started smoking. I wouldnt be surprised if it makes things worse for him when he doesnt have access...",-0.8613,negative,surprised
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,speaker,13,"He drinks caffeine occasionally, it's mainly weed. Also we barely drink alcohol unless it's an occasion. Although I do agree with you with limiting or omitting all those things.... I'm studying to be a psychologist and I can say he definitely  bi polar....he doesnt believe in mental illness though so my opinion doesnt matter much in his eyes xD I'll try to promote a healthier life style still.",0.8328,positive,agreeing
1071,MentalHealthSupport,My significant other is extremely depressed,listener_2,14,"There are different types of bipolar.  If he doesn’t have manic episodes, he likely has a situational variety, caused by lack of REM sleep I believe.  Weed prohibits rem sleep.",-0.3182,negative,afraid
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,1,"So for the last year I've been battling my ex to see my daughter. I've had family members pass away, my mum is currently in need of a liver and my own physical and mental health is at breaking point. Being messed around by work and friends and other family members.I don't sleep at all and when I do nod off, I wake up less an hour later sweating and anxious to the point where my heart feels like it'll explode. Docs give me pills that I'm sure don't help at all. How do you stop the bad thoughts of self harm? How do I stop myself doing something crazy 😞 I'm sick of reaching out for help and just feeling worse all the time.",-0.9179,negative,anxious
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,2,counselling has always helped me,0.0,neutral,faithful
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,3,Who do you have counselling with? I've been put in a group but when I go I'm just too anxious to speak up. Fake smile comes out and I just pretend I'm ok 😞 my doc just gives me tablets that take away my appetite and I'm sure keep me awake at night even more than before I started taking them. I have a few good people around me but like I even get the feeling I've scared them all away now because no one makes any effort to see me or talk any more. Just feel helpless and alone and all I want is to see my daughter's precious little face again. Thanks for replying!,0.2849,positive,lonely
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,4,You should try talking in your group... you dont have to poor your heart out but if you start talking i bet you will start to feel alot better,0.8035,positive,consoling
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,5,"I'll try to do this, it's just so far nothing has helped. It's been a year atleast now and the more I've tried to be positive and talk to friends and family, the more I've felt alone. And the thoughts in my head are never so bad in the day. It's just at night when I try to get my head down, then it's like my own mind is trying to kill me 😕",-0.7527,negative,lonely
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_4,6,talking to the group about this may help you feel less alone in this,0.2484,positive,lonely
1071,MentalHealthSupport,Help,listener_3,7,I'll try. Thank you !,0.4199,positive,wishing
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,speaker,1,"She has bipolar disorder, anxiety and low self esteem and deppression by the looks of it  Shes had a history of abuse from her mother And i think i found a way to help her, its called IPSRT but i cant find much on it  I need the most info i can about it please i need to help her before her planned date",0.4588,positive,afraid
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,listener_1,2,You need to get her to the hospital asap so she can get help she needs in a safe place,0.6808,positive,hopeful
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,listener_2,3,"i don’t wanna be that person but is there any chance you are being catfished?  unless of course y’all meet in person and became long distanced. i only ask bc i’ve heard of people claiming to really awful things n even if you r this is still serious.  i’ve never heard of what u said could help them but i’ll come back n edit when i google a bit. but definitely encourage them to tell someone that they trust locally like a family member, a teacher, a friend so that they can help get them to a place like the emergency room or to see a therapist.  morbid but does she have a plan? like a thought out plan im guessing so, so it could urgent  much love edit: i personally don’t know much about bipolar treatment but really w anything what works best is tailored for the person by a professional. try not to get stuck a certain therapy more on finding something really works n is available nearby for her",0.9936,positive,neutral
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,speaker,4,I have calmed her down but im gonna try and help her as much as possible,0.6542,positive,caring
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,speaker,5,"Possibly not, we've exchanged pictures and shes given me pics i cant find online",0.0,neutral,agreeing
1072,MentalHealthSupport,My partner is planning on suicide in 3 days,speaker,6,"She doesnt trust her parents since theyre abusive,her parents are religious too so they dont really let her go out at all and i think that they wouldn't care",-0.652,negative,terrified
1073,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how long,speaker,1,"Theres only two things keeping me going; my dogs & school. Im graduating this year and my parents despise the dogs, even thought they adopted both. Idk what to do when in out of school and without my only friends. I havent been able to get a job, which doesnt help me in the slightest. Ive been interviewed over 10 times by now. They never get back to me. My parents constantly berate me and have even outright called me a letdown. I just dont know how long I can keep it together.",-0.7658,negative,lonely
1073,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how long,listener_1,2,"Is there someone else you can stay with? The environment is toxic and it's in your best interest to move out.  You're not a letdown or a failure, your situation is unfortunately the reality these days; too many applicants, not enough jobs.  Getting so many interviews means you're making a genuine effort. Five is the average.",0.3612,positive,questioning
1073,MentalHealthSupport,Idk how long,speaker,3,"Well I wish I could move out but with no job I cant afford anywhere, and my family is the only part of my entire family in my town & area. Its just so hard living with people who despise the only thing that cares about you",-0.2021,negative,lonely
1074,MentalHealthSupport,Coronavirus is kicking my mental health butt,speaker,1,"This is a massive pity party so apologies but I have nobody else to vent to.   So last year I booked two weeks off at the end of March starting tomorrow, plans to visit my grandparents and mother (both abroad, different countries) and my dad was supposed to be visiting me and we were supposed to be running a half marathon together.   Because of the pandemic everything has been cancelled and I am unable to see any of my family, my plans have all been ruined.   My friends are all self-isolating, all the pubs/bars/cafes/EVERYTHING around me is in lockdown, my gym has closed, the library has closed, basically everything I do for fun has closed.   I live in a country with typically poor weather so it’s not like I can even go out for the day for a walk in one of the country parks or something.   To make matters worse I live with my MiL who is also self isolating for the next two weeks and while I get on with her, I’m not much of a people person and prefer my own company. She makes my anxiety worse by constantly hovering around and I’m always on edge thinking I’m getting in her way.   So basically my two weeks holiday that I have been looking forward too for a year are gonna be spent with me lying in bed aimlessly scrolling social media on my phone and trying to stay out the way and I don’t think I can take it.   I like having my little routine of going to the gym in the morning then the coffee shop followed by the library to study in the afternoon and I’m gonna be so lost without that routine and my anxiety is through the roof and I am already panicking that’s it never going to go back to normal and my shaky plans that I’ve been making and my little goals I’ve been working for are just pointless and I might as well forget them and I just cant reassure myself that things are gonna be okay even though I’m over reacting and being really insensitive while there’s people suffering and people who have lost loved ones and I’m just complaining about my routine being lost  I’m sorry if this is the wrong place for this but if anyone can offer advice on how to take my anxiety down a level when I can’t even go and get my prescription renewed and I know I’m gonna run out of meds soon so that isn’t helping either. Thanks",-0.9854,negative,disappointed
1074,MentalHealthSupport,Coronavirus is kicking my mental health butt,listener_1,2,Can you get into hobbies to do while you're in bed? Could you send letters to your loved ones and put little origami pieces in each letter and talk about how after all of this you look forward to the bigger reunion when you see each other? Could you maybe try knitting? Maybe make your MiL something with a note that says something about how you like to be alone if there is tension from you keeping to yourself,0.5632,positive,suggesting
1074,MentalHealthSupport,Coronavirus is kicking my mental health butt,speaker,3,Thank you for the tip about Wysa I will check it out! And thank you for grounding me and reminding me that I’m not the only one going through this. Sometimes I tend to get wrapped up in my own problems and blow them out of proportion and forget that other people have it worse than me.  I’m going to try and be better!,0.1984,positive,grateful
1074,MentalHealthSupport,Coronavirus is kicking my mental health butt,listener_2,4,I’m glad that helped c:,0.4588,positive,neutral
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,speaker,1,"Hey guys, how do you feel lately, do some past traumas of yours resurface especially now and affect your empathy/emotions?   Let's have a discussion ;)",-0.3182,negative,questioning
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,listener_1,2,"Yes, it most certainly is so. I need more quiet time to process what happens and to be at a stable place so I can support others.",0.861,positive,agreeing
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,speaker,3,u/AkiraFromWiiSports??,0.0,neutral,questioning
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,listener_2,4,Go ahead.,0.0,neutral,questioning
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,listener_3,5,FACE THE LEAD!,0.0,neutral,prepared
1075,MentalHealthSupport,A quick question for men,listener_2,6,...?,0.0,neutral,questioning
1076,MentalHealthSupport,Corona Virus has ruined over two years of mental stability,speaker,1,"I was diagnosed with depression when I was 12, things were really bad for a long time but I started feeling in control again my freshman year of high school. I’m now a junior, and I haven’t had bad depression in at least two years. Being stuck inside with my less than supportive parents while attempting to force myself into online learning is sending me in a downward spiral. I’ve never had any motivation for school, I also have Aspergers and ADHD which makes focusing on things I don’t care about impossible. When I’m at school I have friends and counselors to help me get things done, but at home I just have frustrated parents and the occasional email from a counselor. What’s getting to me the most is that I don’t feel like taking care of my pets anymore and I hate myself for it, usually they are the most important thing in my life. I’m so afraid that I’m not going to take good enough care of them, but at the same time I feel like I don’t care anymore, and that’s what hurts the most. I don’t know what to do, sorry for the rant. I just don’t know where else to go besides here.",0.6214,positive,ashamed
1076,MentalHealthSupport,Corona Virus has ruined over two years of mental stability,listener_1,2,"Hey, just know that it's okay to feel bad. I've been feeling the exact same with lockdown, I feel like I'm regressing back into what I fought so hard to get out of. I feel like I've been neglectijg my ball python, who means the world to me, and I'm also almost not caring anymore, I've had two slip ups with his care that were my fault and it's a crushing feeling. All I can say is that I believe that you have so much strength that you don't know. I'm going through the same thing, hang in there friend.",0.5518,positive,ashamed
1076,MentalHealthSupport,Corona Virus has ruined over two years of mental stability,speaker,3,"Thanks man, I really appreciate that.",0.7089,positive,acknowledging
1077,MentalHealthSupport,"25/ftm/UK suffering from anxiety, depression. Self medicating with weed and clonazepam. Also working in mental health.",speaker,1,"So yeah the title to this post is my ish in a nutshell. I'm just looking for some advice. And outside perspective. It's a bit complicated though. I'll bulletpoint my main problems.   - Im trans but my trans doctor went AWOL and was criticised in the news for prescribing to people too young (he seemed fine to me) and now I'm stuck waiting up to 2 years to be able to even get a gender specialist on the NHS. For now. I have to buy my testosterone for £55 on the clearnet!! (I've.written letters to doctors and local politicians but.... Nothing has changed)   - I have a fulfilling career in mental health, love my. Clients to death but one or two of my coworkers are aggressive, abusive and downright detrimental to the clients recovery and I've brought it up multiple times with the manager so often when I come out of a bad day of work I get really angry, vaguely suicidal and recreationally use alcohol, weed and more recently clonazepam 2mg.  - because of corona a mental health assessment appointment that I've been desperately looking forward to for 3 months got cancelled and they would get back to me when they can... Whenever the fuck that will be.  - my partner, love of my life has gone into quarentine with her Nephew, and therefore moved to her brothers household. Her. Nephew could die if he gets Corona so needs 24\7 care and medical support anyway because he has CHARGE syndrome. My gf gets paid nurse wages to care for him as she is one of the handful of people that knows exactly how little guy alive and is willing to isolate with the immediate family. I'm Lonely. But not bitter, I just miss the dopamine of living life with her.  - occasionally suicidal, low key wish I would die, will pop pills and smoke bare weed just to keep me going.. Also I feel like humans are basically a scourge on the earth so whatever I can't wait to finally die.    That's me summed up really. I have hobbies... Running, pokemon go, occasionally weight training, watching documentaries but honestly the only reason I can say I feel. OK right now is because I have the next 3 days off away from being supportive to mental health clients. I took 1mg clonazepam at around 10am and now it's 8 and I got two ciders in me. Got bless mind altering substances. I've also been prescribed 175mg effexor/venlafaxine.   I wanna die sometimes. Is anyone out there? Does anyone understand? I'm just looking for some advice or some solidarity. I don't want to ruin my life but I can't wait until I finally get to die of natural causes.   Thanks for taking the time to read this. Stay well xxxx",-0.9827,negative,disappointed
1077,MentalHealthSupport,"25/ftm/UK suffering from anxiety, depression. Self medicating with weed and clonazepam. Also working in mental health.",listener_1,2,"I’m really sorry. This fucking virus has 100% put everyone’s mental health in flux including mine. Try to shoot for ok over thriving right now because of how hard it is to get help. There’s online therapy that you can find while your waiting for the virus to subside. Keep all the basics in check (sleep, nutrition, exercise)  Everyone feels this right now I would say.   Best of luck. My dm’s are open if you need to talk",0.8275,positive,sympathizing
1077,MentalHealthSupport,"25/ftm/UK suffering from anxiety, depression. Self medicating with weed and clonazepam. Also working in mental health.",listener_2,3,That is good to hear! I am still here if you need to talk.,0.4926,positive,acknowledging
1078,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a failure.,speaker,1,"I have OCD, anxiety, and major depressive disorder. I’ve had to deal with these since elementary school. I’m on several medications and usually have to change my prescription every 6 months or so because the medication eventually looses its effect. Since this whole COVID 19 stuff I’ve been able to deal with it pretty well for the first week or two but my anxiety has started acting up causing ticks. Some of those ticks are grunting, taking shallow breaths and holding it, opening my eyes as wide as I can, spreading my fingers and toes as wide as I can, and some other things.  So I’m in my second semester of a vet tech program. This program is pass or fail and you have to keep your overall grade above a 75%. It’s a very intense and fast paced 2 year program. Last semester I struggled a bit but passed all my classes. This semester I started out very well and was applying new study habits despite my only friends from the previous semester cutting contact with me out of the blue. I had B’s by the time spring break started. I was proud since my grades have improved a whole letter grade compared to the previous semester. Then this COVID 19 stuff happened and got kicked out of the dorms and my classes moved to online. This program is very hands on and half of it is labs. Which was good because I learn better in the classroom and doing hands on stuff. So these online classes have been a huge adjustment and a big stressor. I’m struggling finding assignments and staying caught up on everything. I’ve been busting my ass these past couple of weeks working from 9-5 Monday through Friday working on homework. I’ve also been taking small breaks in between like working on a puzzle, walking dogs, or watching an episode on Netflix. I’m turning everything in and doing my best but my grades are barely hovering over a 75% and my lowest grade is now a 64%. I feel like I had everything going for me and now I’m losing my grip on everything. I feel like a failure, like giving up, like I can’t accomplish my dream. I feel like I’m losing my shit and having a mental breakdown once or twice everyday. I need help.   Ps I’ve probably left some things out. Also I didn’t know where to post this.",0.9255,positive,anxious
1078,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a failure.,listener_1,2,"Hey! Sorry for the incredibly late reply on this! I saw nobody had responded so thought I'd hop in! Also, just FYI, I am by no means a mental health expert or anything, but I'll do my best! And if it helps at all, I am also a fellow medical student...  Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. While I personally don't have any diagnosed mental health conditions, like you, I've often felt like just giving up on my studies entirely and taking the easy way out, so to speak. But you know what? Looking back now I don't regret a thing! Sure, my grades weren't as good as I had hoped, and yes they were some very intense and stressful times in my life. But I've found that one way or another, everything will always fall into place for you sooner or later!  I failed to qualify for University (college) here in the UK at first so I had to take an additional year long general healthcare course in order to do so, but I got there in the end! So even if you somehow don't get the grades expected of you, I assure you that there are always alternative routes to pursuing your goals! Also, I'm not sure about in the US, but in the UK, most companies/services have said that they were going to be more lenient on those who were receiving their grades this year, as they understand that most people's studies and marks would be negatively impacted as a result of COVID, so don't lose hope just yet!  I also know the pandemic has been hard on everyone mentally, myself included. However I can't imagine how much harder it must be for you, so you have my deepest sympathies... If possible, it would certainly help to talk to others close to you about how you feel if you haven't already done so. Or I'm also more than happy to chat if you feel the need... 🙂  Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with everything! I'm sure whatever happens, you'll be absolutely fine! From where I'm sitting, you seem to be on track to achieving a very bright future! 😊",0.9976,positive,sympathizing
1078,MentalHealthSupport,I feel like a failure.,speaker,3,Thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate it.,0.6697,positive,sympathizing