text
stringlengths 31
99
| humor
bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
This thanksgiving, high school students will ask their elders about the election | false |
After usain bolt retires, he'll move to iran. | true |
I carry a gun because i'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six. | true |
What did the ocean say to the beach? nothing, it just waved. | true |
How to get your dog to sleep in | false |
11 things hillary clinton must do to beat donald trump | false |
Janelle monae's new album set to feature collaborations with prince, miguel | false |
My teacher asked me to turn in my essay. pero no soy un rata. | true |
Whats the difference between hitler and stalin? hitler hit. stalin stalled. | true |
Pope francis critics cite conclave conspiracy to question his papacy | false |
You heard of what happened to robin williams? you could say his jokes had him gasping for air. | true |
Maisie williams doesn't think jon snow is coming back on 'game of thrones' | false |
I'm not usually too good at jokes but um... tiss | true |
My new year's resolution is to be a monster | false |
What do you call a cholo with one leg shorter than the other? a crip | true |
5 ways to actually be pro-life (based on evidence) | false |
Gwen stefani shares behind-the-scenes look at new video | false |
Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two adams bonding | true |
Scarier than 'psycho': twitter erupts over trump's 'bats**t' press conference | false |
Third grade why did the blonde have the biggest boobs in the third grade? she was 23. | true |
Common cooking myths debunked: screaming lobsters and more | false |
Trump asks about pardons as lawyers look at ways to derail mueller probe | false |
Nobody's going to see a sticker on a telephone pole and then become a fan of your band. | true |
France links sarin gas used in syria attack to regime | false |
At the top of my lungs: food for thought | false |
Sorry, i don't date block guys.- racist lego woman. | true |
Nostalgic gop pines after bush with 'i miss w.' t-shirts | false |
The no. 1 thing you're doing every day that's ruining your life | false |
Israel tells african migrants, asylum-seekers to leave or go to jail | false |
What do you call an irish-canadian? a mickey moose | true |
Cavs' kyrie irving: the earth is flat, and 'they' are lying to us | false |
Craft of the day: create these stamped dish towels | false |
Why doesn't the kkk like halloween? too many spooks. | true |
What do you call a wordpress website that dresses up like another type of website? drupal | true |
To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female... | true |
Georgia aquarium's beluga request rejected by u.s., drawing praise from animal advocates | false |
How to be an entrepreneur who doesn't suck | false |
Neighbors give heartwarming send-off to wwii vet who died with no family or friends | false |
Bad cop: *face way too close to shakira's waistline* tell me what i want to know | true |
Lady gaga: the pope doesn't 'matter,' ‘gay marriage is going to happen' | false |
How do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. | true |
Putin calls for talks on eastern ukraine 'statehood' | false |
France and italy go to war. who wins? neither. france surrenders and italy switches sides | true |
Thursday's morning email: trump calls for nyc terror suspect to face the death penalty | false |
Dear war hawks: the u.s.-iran prisoner swap is yet another victory for diplomacy | false |
Have you heard about the new line of tampax with bells and tinsel? it's for the christmas period. | true |
Why can't the motorcycle get up on its own? it's two tired. | true |
Why don't witches have babies? because their men have hollow-weenies! | true |
Madeleine albright spends inauguration day with america's future leaders | false |
Q: what will you never say about a banjo player? a: that's the banjo player's porsche. | true |
Fake vigils honor victims of kellyanne conway's made-up bowling green massacre | false |
How to solve the puzzle of life in 6 easy steps (as taught by my 4-year-old) | false |
*re-dials* hey girl, before i come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza? | true |
Birthdays can be really nice but i heard too many of them can kill you | true |
White house to fbi director: no, viral videos aren't causing crime | false |
Jewish pokemon trainer what do you call a jewish pokemon trainer? ash | true |
Mom: what are you hiding in there? -nuthin no. | true |
Polish woman says she was dragged out of church after unfurling anti-racism banner | false |
Kaitlyn bristowe and shawn booth are still together, just in case you were wondering | false |
Memo to moms: stop rising tide of work guilt, it's a 'moldy blanket' | false |
What did the jewish pedophile say to the boy? would you like to buy some candy? | true |
I rustle jimmies look at my name lol | true |
Sean penn: donald trump is an enemy of compassion and of the state | false |
Every cloud has a silver lining, except ver. 8.0.1 | true |
(girl) power in numbers: photographs from the women's march, washington d.c. | false |
What's e.t short for? because he's got small legs | true |
What's the difference between acne and a priest? acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face. | true |
Why do the say amen in church but not awoman? *because they sing hymns, not hers!* | true |
Whenever i find the key to success, someone changes the lock. | true |
The other guy behind the mexican-american studies ban lost his primary too | false |
What does a half-dressed sikh wear on his head? a subturban! | true |
Just wrote a musical composition about pedophiles... dick in a minor | true |
Miles davis was indeed a lucky man... he literally had a blow job lasting 45 years. | true |
I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence. | true |
How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? if her ankles swell when she farts. | true |
Marijuana use among u.s. adults has doubled over a decade, surveys show | false |
How planned parenthood is using the resistance to face down the trump era | false |
What do you call a pussy with herpes? cuntagious | true |
Mosaic of a lady: 5 super femme stories | false |
What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? a fruit doesn't need a wheelchair | true |
Want to regain the american people’s trust? give us medicare for all | false |
Leap year lesson: what is a year, anyway? | false |
Internet and depression: what online habits say about mental health | false |
If cadillacs are jew-canoes, what are bmw m6's? jew-boats. | true |
Brazil's crisis is a 'graduation dilemma,' and there's no easy way out | false |
The point of parenthood -- and 4 tips for making it through adolescence with your kids | false |
Why did the amish woman get pregnant? because she was seeing too many mennonite. | true |
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside | true |
What do you call a fish without eyes? a fssssshhhh | true |
Roaming charges: how to avoid a $10,000 phone bill | false |
Mark zuckerberg highlights what he learned after $100 million gift to newark | false |
Romney tax plan website: dems punk gop platform with romneytaxplan.com | false |
Food prices: good for farmers, bad for everybody else | false |
The fogcatcher inn on moonstone beach is great for dogs | false |
Did you know cat's are impervious to most rattle snake bites? said every dog ever. | true |
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? because he was always spotted. | true |
Yo mama is so hairy that bigfoot tried to take her picture! | true |
Whose line is it anyway? -generous cocaine party guests | true |
9 strange craigslist posts from across the country (photos) | false |
Dr. drew on what all americans should know about divorce and family court | false |