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I'm sick to fucking death of him not putting any effort into maintaining the house or this relationship. I'm over the apathy, the expectation that I should be the only one cooking and cleaning, the long boring weekends where all he wants to do is sit on his ass and watch TV. All we do anymore is sit around or argue. I took a job that's nearly double my salary. I'm telling him I'm leaving after I get home from my family's place for Christmas. I'm relieved this chapter of my life is over, and I'm so excited for my new life in a vibrant city!

I did the exact same thing in my mid-20’s after living with someone who felt like a stranger after 3 years. Came home on Thursday, told him I’d found an apartment in another city, moved out on Saturday. We just saw each other in Jan. 2020...after 25 years. Over the course of 6 hours and lots of whiskey, it was clear that I made the right choice, despite having moments of doubt throughout the years. I also realized how far I’d come, personally, professionally, emotionally. Trust me, OP. Living your life on your terms is the only way to go. Be happy, be curious, and be adventurous. You are a total badass with an incredibly fulfilling life ahead of you!

Four weeks ago my younger brother killed himself. Two weeks ago my dad finally gave in to cancer. My mother is distraught..... and she had a bad fall four days ago and is in the hospital. My day consists of: -- working a full time job from home -- parenting 2 young kids -- spending every free minute in the hospital to keep my mother company and be by her side -- ignoring my own mental health My wife's day consists of: -- parenting two young kids -- not working -- offering my zero emotional or physical support Even though I'm the only one that works, my wife and I usually split household chores 50/50. Anything less, and I get an earful. I gladly help out because.... well... spending 15 minutes a day doing dishes and 30 minutes a day cleaning is not very hard. It's just not. Turn on some music and grab a beer. Well I have a lot of shit going right now. I let the dishes pile up. My wife screamed and yelled and cursed that its bullshit I'm not keeping up with the dishes and she's had to do "all the housework". "Just because you work..." blah blah blah blah blah Go f*** yourself. I can't wait to divorce you. I can't wait for you to have to get a job.

talk to her about everything. be completely honest and tell her everything shes doing and how it makes you feel. tell her you are thinking of a divorce. if nothing changes then divorce her

I DID IT. TAKE THAT YOU USELESS DISEASE. YOU MADE ME THINK I WAS GONNA DIE AND YOU WERE CLOSE, BUT GET FUCKED I WON. I genuinely can't contain my happiness. I was basically on death's door and had given all hope on surviving. But fortunately I'm here and it's a miracle. My family and friends are ecstatic and I want to share this news to reddit. And lastly, CANCER'S GONNA NEED MORE THAN THAT TO TAKE ME OR ANYONE ELSE!!!

pop off king

I was invited to hang out with my friend and his middle aged coworker. After we picked up some liquor, we went back to my friend's house, smoked a blunt, and started drinking. Everything was fine up until they both left the room. My friend comes back and tells me that his coworker was expressing his interest in me. I was shocked as my relationship was public knowledge, but decided to play nice because I didn't want to make the situation awkward, thinking nothing would come of it as my friend was present. His coworker came back upstairs, and shortly after, my friend fell asleep. ​ The coworker then got close to me on the futon, trying to coax me into drinking the contents of the red solo cup in his hand. After trying to say no several times, I gave in. It didn't taste of too much alcohol. Shortly afterwards, I felt sick and decided to lay down. I only had two double shot drinks, and whatever was in his cup. He proceeded to put a fruit snack in his mouth and told me that eating the fruit snack would make me feel better. I started getting dizzy. Once again, I resisted, but after he put his face directly in front of mine, I obliged and tried to take the fruit snack from his mouth with my teeth as to not make contact. That's when he forced his lips on mine. I tried to get away, but realized I couldn't move my limbs. I was stuck. I tried to say no, but my slurred words had no effect. At that point, I knew what was going to happen and just tried to keep my eyes shut until it was over. He raped me. After he was done, he cuddled me as if he had done nothing wrong, stroking my hair and telling me he was going to take care of me. I passed out soon after. ​ The next day my mother picked me up, and after she saw the choke marks on my neck, I broke down and told her I was raped. She tried to get me to go to the ER for a rape kit, but I was scared about missing work and trying to forget what had just occured. I tried to adjust back to normal life, but shortly afterwards was put in an intensive outpatient program and diagnosed with PTSD. ​ At the time I had an ovarian cyst that needed monitoring via ultrasound. I went to my ultrasound appointment, which was exactly one month after the assault had happened. As the ultrasound was happening, I noticed a small circle on the screen, but thought nothing of it, thinking it might have been a blood clot as my period was a tad bit late. The technician finishes, and goes and phones the doctor. I didn't hear the conversation, but he came down and spoke with me. He asked if I was sure I wasn't sexually active. I cried and told him no but that I had just been raped. He informed me that the circle on my ultrasound might be an embryo and that I needed to take a urine pregnancy test. I called my partner after I provided my sample and wept. He kept me calm and assured me no matter what he would be there for me. The doctor came back in with a heavy face and broke the news to me. I was pregnant. I sobbed for what felt like ages. My mother and I left, and she told me she would stick by whatever decision I made. I already knew what I was going to do. ​ I called Planned Parenthood and scheduled for a medical termination of my pregnancy. They told me scheduling would take two weeks, as I had to attend an informational meeting first. Those two weeks were the longest two weeks of my life. ​ I was terrified to go outside, convinced people would know about the dirty secret I was carrying in my womb. I was convinced the embryo was a parasite planted by my rapist to drain the life from me. There was not a second I was not in emotional distress. Every minute was torture, reliving what he did to me and feeling my body change in a response to what had been done. I had never experienced a level of body dysphoria like that. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, or be nude for longer than 30 seconds at a time. I was rapidly switching between dissociation and flashbacks. The intensive outpatient program I was in refused to give me anything stronger for my anxiety, as it could damage the embryo, despite my begging and pleading and promising that I was absolutely certain I would terminate. It was a constant battle not to take my own life. I remember walking into Planned Parenthood, surrounded by people calling me a murderer. I told them I was raped, and they told me it was God's plan and that the abortion would be another trauma. I was livid, furious at these people for ignoring my state of distress in the name of their personal beliefs. ​ I went through with the abortion. It was painful, and sad, but in no way a trauma. This was my freedom from my rapist. This was reclaiming my body. This was being free. I am sad about it because this was not my choice. I never had a choice in this. This was the doing of my rapist, and what I did was the only way to save my life and reclaim some sense of normalcy. If I had been forced to go through with the pregnancy, I would have killed myself. Had it been a birth control failure, I would not have terminated, but that is my choice and my choice alone to continue my pregnancy. I can not make choices for other people, as pregnancy is different for every woman, and it is their choice to make. ​ I am extremely angry, shocked and disappointed at what is going on in Alabama. Women like me, women that are hurting, terrified, unready will not be able to get the procedure they need to be well. I am scared for them. I am scared for all women. These laws will strip us of our bodily autonomy, turning us into incubators for our predators. How many women will take their lives? How many women will die of unsafe abortions? This is the very definition of archaic. I've heard people say "abortion is a trauma itself", "pregnancy is a blessing from God", and "but what about the child?". I do not need anyone to speak for me. I am valid, and I will be heard. My termination was not a trauma, it was the first step in healing the wounds my rapist planted in my being. I do not want other people's religions dictating what happens with MY body. The embryo I terminated was just that, an embryo. It had no thoughts, no feelings. Had I continued the pregnancy, I would have died. If I had survived, the pregnancy would have destroyed my body, permanently scarring me and producing a baby that would be despised, unloved, and thrown into a system that repeatedly time and time again fails children. How is that a quality life for either of us? I am sick and tired of people dictating what women should do with their own bodies. Termination is a personal decision and is no one's business but the pregnant woman. ​ If I had to relive that again, I would still make the same decision. My abortion saved my life. ​ Edit: Thank you all so much for your support, and for the reddit awards. I plan on responding to each and every one of your comments once I get off work. I love you all. ​ Edit 2: Reddit wouldn't let me comment for an hour or so, so I've responded to what I can for tonight and I will continue responding to comments tomorrow. You are all in my thoughts, and I am so thankful for your support. My PMs are open to all who need a shoulder to lean on, or even just a friendly conversation. Making this post is probably one of the best things I've done for my healing, and I've learned a very valuable lesson. Despite how loud ignorance can be, love and compassion will always be louder. Carry that love with you and share it with others. Goodnight, and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

I’ve never said this “out loud” before, but I’m an incest survivor who became pregnant by my abuser when I was 14. An abortion saved my life, too. Without question, had I been unable to terminate that pregnancy, I would have chosen to kill myself. And if for some reason my physical body survived, the experience of carrying and giving birth to my father’s child would have ended my life regardless. My abortion wasn’t a trauma. Being unable to get one safely and legally, however, would have traumatized me in ways I can’t even describe and from which I sincerely believe I would never have been able to recover. Thank you for being brave enough to post your story. You’ve inspired me. I won’t be silent about this any longer.

To preface, I work at a dollar store that loosely enforces the mask rule (we tell the customer that we require them, but after that cannot so anything if they refuse to put anything on) I had a man come in just now, and he wasn't wearing a mask. I told him per company/state policy, and he just looked at me and said "okay" as he proceeded to continue about his business. I kinda throw up my hands in a "well fuck" fashion and throw him back his "okay." He asks me "Well do you want to get my groceries for me then?" And just walks off. We stare daggers at one another as he's shopping, and I'm full ready to go off on this guy at the counter since my last day is tomorrow anyway. Then he does something I wasn't expecting, he grabbed a pack of disposable masks. The first thing he says to me is "Man, I'm sorry for being rude. You're just trying to do your job, and the Lord knows I wouldn't want to be the guy to tell all these people to wear a mask. I'm just not used to it is all, I hope you can bear with me." I tell ya, he almost made a grown ass 20 year old sob tonight with just one sentence. Too many times I've had people brush me off, get rude and loud in the store, and just generally act shitty. It was such a small but so impactful act of humanity that I haven't been treated to since I started working here. It was refreshing. There's still hope.

If only they were all like that

So my friend and I met in elementary school, we were close. As we got out of high school he joined the army and did his thing while I did mine but we kept in contact. After he left the military, I even drove 900 miles and picked him up from base. We lived together for a long time as roommates and just lived our life. Played video games mostly, we were both kinda losers tbh lol. A few years ago I was getting married and ultimately moved out and he was in a relationship with a girl and they moved in together. Him and his girl got married and they had a son together last July. My wife and I had a daughter this past December. We hadn’t talked in a while. Lives were just kinda going different directions and with kids it’s hard. I distanced myself from him just because he was still rather lazy and I just wanted to keep focused and not let that affect me. His wife has 3 kids from before they got married. I found out he was caught in the act molesting their 11 year old. After that he barricaded himself in the garage with his gun before surrendering to the police. He is currently in custody with multiple felony charges, and I guess this had been going on for a while. I knew this person better than anyone. I lived with him for years. If there was anyone on this earth I trusted it would be him. How does this happen? I can’t wrap my head around it. What did I miss? I just feel after this like who can you trust? There was never an indication he had any issues whatsoever and that’s what kills me. How can people be so normal yet be so deranged and do these things. If anyone has any idea as to what goes on in the mind of the types of people it might help me get a better understanding of how the hell that happened. I am just so shocked and disgusted. Thank you for hearing it out :)

So my childhood friend, whom I never suspected to be evil, killed a child and then killed himself. Everything was random. Child didn't know him. I was crushed. I hadn't talked to him in 10 years but it hurt. You are not a bad person for associating with him in the past. You may rack your brain trying to find clues of his past. But it's not worth it. Give yourself time to heal. I'm so sorry.

Oy. This is bugging me. A few days ago I pulled an old cookbook out I had gotten when I used to live in Melbourne OZ and flipped to my favourite recipe. Yes I thought. I haven’t made this in ages. I went out and got the ingredients and last night started chopping and cooking. My husband is in a state of glee. “You are making dinner?? Reeealllly??” He was so happy. A little too happy. I was about to playfully give him shit when it hit me like a freight train: I hadn’t cooked us dinner in six months. COVID hit right before I was going to take this intense life-overtaking course (which wound up being online of course) and I lost my job. I focused on the work and made myself crazy with it, spending 12-14 hours on my laptop everyday. Once I graduated I launched into another course with similar workload. Because of all of this I have been living a rather subhuman life: endless days in pjs, not seeing people enough due to the rona, questioning my self worth, takeout on takeout on takeout, fits of rage and depression. You know the deal as mannnnnnnnyyyyy of you can relate. Anyways, I love my husband. He’s so great. He does so much for me and with his goofy smile and little pet names, I don’t know what I would do without him. But holy fuck I need to learn balance. I can’t just bury my head and let him do the rest. So today is going to be different. Today I strive for balance and a small way to show my appreciation. Today I will be better. EDIT: Wow. So thanks for all the awards and nice comments. I’m sorry for the people who felt they had to message me horrible things. I’m sorry your life is so sad that you need to lash out in that way. Life has clearly been kinder to me. But to the vast majority of you: HUGS. You make me feel better about humanity too.

I don't know all the details, but from your story it seems like your husband didn't bug about not making dinner for the last 6 months? That's big. I wish you guys continuous happiness.

Originally I had a fantasy about shower sex, but turns out it is pretty terrible. I'd give it a -3 out of 10. Awkward, uncomfortable, dangerous, cold,not to mention sex while standing up is really uncomfortable for us because I am 22cm(8inches) taller than my partner. But showering together has some major perks! We keep each other company, we can soap each other's difficult-to-reach zones. We save time and water. I can help dry her hair. She reminds me to apply lotion afterwards. I get to see her naked! I really look forward to getting a place to live together so this becomes a regular thing.

You only shower together with someone you truly care about. Big thing

Three weeks ago, my mother was vaccinated with the Johnson and Johnson COVID-19 vaccine. Two weeks ago, she had a hemorrhagic stroke and was declared brain dead two days later. Then the news broke about 6 women developing similar issues after being vaccinated. And anti-vaxers latched on and started using what’s happened as proof of the dangers of vaccines. My mother’s case may or may not have been related to her vaccine, but she fits with the other cases and is being investigated. My mother was a lifelong believer in science and vaccinations especially. She was a curious, passionate woman who despised the fear mongering of the anti-vaccine movement. She would be rolling over in her grave if she thought her death might contribute to bad faith medical quackery. So here is a message from her daughter: get vaccinated. If the J&J vaccine is deemed safe for you, take that. Vaccination saves far more lives than it claims and we have a social obligation to take that tiny tiny risk for ourselves for the sake of our global well being. RIP mom. I will love you forever.

Hey, I worked on the pre rollout early efficacy J&J vaccine trials. Albeit, I am a small cog. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss, it pains me that we aren’t better with medication and women even in 2021. Edit: To clarify, I work on experimental neuroscience drugs normally. But we had an all hands on deck phase for anyone pharmacologically inclined. Edit 2: I’ve gotten quite a few angry DMs, to clarify I didn’t have/don’t have anything to do with J&Js decisions or dissemination of info. I’m just a nerd who wants to help people with depression not have to deal with the side effects of their medication (and also create the super soldier serum, turn people into dinosaurs and figure out what octopi are thinking).

That is all

Music to my fucking ears man

I'm a married man with young kids. I live a boring life, office job, don't smoke or do drugs, normally. But I have one secret. When my wife and kids are away for the weekend I take xtc. I watch porn for hours on end and dildo myself silly. Got a bunch of vibrators and dildos of various sizes, pants with holes at the crotch and anus, various fleshlights, cigarettes and a small bag with a bunch of pills, all stuffed away in a big shoppingbag in our basement. It's in a far corner, just behind some personal stuff and old skiwear I no longer use. It's safe there because my wife is scared of the shaky steep stairs and in general scared of the basement (dark, spooky). Went there once or twice and was like "nope, you have to get things from me there I ain't going there". And if she needs something she always asks me. So this weekend I'm out of town and I get a text: "why do you keep that old skisuit? You don't use it and it's old" My heart starts pounding like crazy: why is she in the basement? And apparently she's in that very corner? I say "yeah, well maybe one day again.. wow you're in the basement!?" Her: "yeah I needed a thing and once here it wasn't so bad and now I want to sort some of this trash out". Heart rate increases but I don't know anything I could do from here, far away, and saying "don't do that" would be super suspicious. So I just answer that I applaud her bravery and that I was going to clean as well (implying she doesn't need to do this). I didn't get another message so I figured she didn't find it. Because she would definitely call me right away if she even just found a dildo, nevermind everything else I had there. When I come home all seems normal and as soon as I can I check in the basement and see the skiwear bag on the same place. Behind it my bag full of sex and drugs stuff, untouched. Deep sigh of relief. Apparently she just for some reason didn't open the bag after the skiwear. I'm sweating while typing this.

You know, THIS is why I keep coming back to Reddit. You just stumble upon these stories about seemingly ordinary people and you wonder how many of the people you see around you every day, in your everyday life, harbours some dark, batshit crazy, secret stuff like this.

I guess it’s time for me to come clean. Not because I feel too bad for what I’ve been doing, but because it’s possible my eldest son is on to me. I have 3 kids and a wonderful wife. For more than 25 years our family has loved doing puzzles together. Since we started, I’ve done something that may seem unsavory to people that don’t understand the joy of putting in that final piece. To ensure it was always me, whenever we start a new puzzle I take one of the pieces and hide it in a green sock that’s at the bottom of my dresser. Whenever we get to the very end, we all, once again, lost a piece. We all search frantically until I’m the hero who finds it. Well, this past Sunday we got to completion once again, only this time there are TWO pieces missing. We begin searching. It may be my imagination but my eldest son gave me a look. It was a half smirk. I think he’s on to me. Derek, if you’re reading this, I have more patience than you do. I’ll hold my piece forever if I need to. “Find” yours first, and let’s end this madness… EDIT-1:: A fellow Reddit user PMd me an incredible idea. I’m going to try and contact the manufacturer and order his missing piece. I’m going to “find” it when it arrives, then “find” mine immediately after. I almost feel bad when I consider how truly confused he will be. Thank you Spockhighonspores! I don’t think he’s found this thread yet because he hasn’t approached me about it, so this could still work. I’m so excited! This will go down in family history. Checkmate EDIT-2:: Well folks, I’ve been duped. I got up this morning, went into the kitchen to get some coffee and as I walked past the puzzle I noticed that it had been completed. All pieces accounted for. I calmly, and politely knocked on Derek’s door and asked him about it. He denied knowing anything about it. Like, super convincing. I went down back down to my bedroom, confused as ever and just sat in bed with a blank stare. My wife asked me what’s wrong, and I told her that the puzzle was completed and I have no idea how it got done. She literally started laughing like a damn hyena… “IVE ALWAYS KNOWN ABOUT YOUR DUMB GREEN SOCK” I’m in shock. I’m numb. Like a damn gut punch. So as it turns out, she’s known what I’ve been doing for at least 10 years. She said she loved watching me walk around thinking I was some criminal mastermind tricking everyone, and that’s why she never said anything. She wanted me to have my win, while she secretly laughed and had her own fun in secret. I don’t even know what to say. I’m just processing everything. I cannot believe she’s had this over me for so long and I literally had no idea. She noticed a decade ago that I had just 1 green sock, since I lost its pair forever ago, and immediately knew something was up with it since I refused to throw it away. I guess that makes sense. I’m an idiot. I’ve come to the realization that she’s actually the master here, it’s her house, and I should be thankful she lets me live in it. At least she promised not to tell the kids.

The battle of wills have begun.

I was tired of being ugly, single and lonely so I started working out, paying attention to my diet, taking better care of my hair and hygiene, started going outside and as a result.. I'm still ugly lmao but atleast I don't hate myself as much as before. Baby steps I guess.

You should be proud, good for you!! Just keep taking it one step at a time

I feel like if I met him irl he would have a stench coming off his body, like a really horrible odor. He is a pig boy. Just my opinion.

i just wonder why every picture of him in the news is so unflattering. he permanently has an expression on his face like he’s about to interrupt someone. then i laugh and remember there can’t possibly be flattering pictures.

Especially with Netflix originals. I get it Netflix. You made Love is Blind. It’s the first thing I see when I log in my account and I will never watch it even if I’m quarantined for 10 years. As with many others.

Also to get rid of shows you didn’t like from your recently watched. I hate having a line of shows I watched one or two episodes of and didn’t like sat there constantly

Last night my (22M) friend (21M) came over to play video games. We were in the living room when my sister (13) came out of her room and walked into the kitchen to refill her water bottle. She was wearing spandex shorts and a tank top and it looked like she was working out. After she went back to her room my friend leaned over and said her spandex looked good on her and said her body is beginning to fill in nicely. I gave him a look and said it was just his opinion but she looked hot when she walked past us. I couldn’t tell if he was joking but regardless I turned off the game and asked him to leave. He was confused and I got in his face and told him not to speak about my sister like that. He tried saying it was a joke but I don’t see how those statements are jokes. He left without saying anything else then texted me a couple hours later telling me to chill out. I am not going to chill out over a 21 year old calling my sister’s body hot and complimenting her abs. He said I’m overreacting but I don’t think I am. I’m thinking about ending our friendship right now. I am disgusted. I don’t feel comfortable around him anymore. Edit: Wow this blew up. I wrote this at 2am then fell asleep. Thank you everyone for the support. I unfollowed him on social media and removed his number from my phone. This morning my mom asked me if he came over and I said he did but asked him to leave after he made some inappropriate comments about my sister. She immediately got the message and said she does not want him anywhere near our apartment. I feel bad for putting my sister and my mom in this spot but I’m glad he showed his true colors. I feel like I could do more though.

Good call. He was making inappropriate remarks about your sister, a minor. The fact that he thinks it’s not a problem is concerning Edit: I think some people ever-so-slightly misinterpreted my comment 😅 I’m not just saying that it’s a good call cuz OP protected his sister, I’m also saying this cuz he’s a good… what do you call it. Witness? Idk. Whether she’s his sister or not, one should always speak up when they see a minor being treated like this.

Basically, the title. I was so excited. I proposed. I handed her the ring. She looked like she was going to cry. Then she said "Sorry. I don't think we should get married." I asked her why and she said something along the lines of "I'll always be the girl you took a decade to decide if I was wifey material. I don't know how to be happy with that reality" I really fucked up. Now the woman I love isn't willing to be my wife. I don't know what the fuck to do.

Your answer should have been “I always knew you were wifey material, but it took ten years for me to become husband material”

My girlfriend and I went to a party together at one of my friends house. She was one of three girls there, compared to the 12 guys (ive known them since elementary school). Much later, we were all outside watching me and my buddy play pong. My girlfriend tells me that she feels sick and says she’s going upstairs to the bathroom. The game had gotten pretty exciting so I told her I would come up when it was over. One friend (calling him Joe) went inside to get a drink. A few minutes later I could hear my girl yelling my name. I thought she just wanted a drink or sum so i sent two of my friends to go check on her as i was still playing. Then we are hear loud yelling and hear crashing sounds. We all go downstairs and see joe lying on the ground with one of the guys hovering over him. The other is holding my girlfriend in a blanket. They told me what happened. Joe had found my girl in the bathroom and got on top of her. They said they saw him trying to pull her clothes off while she cried. He got her top off and almost her bottoms. They pulled him off and ig beat the fuck out of him based on his face. I feel an endless amount of guilt for this night. I could have stopped it if I had just stopped my game. My girlfriend is terrified to be around Joe and never wants to drink again. I’ll hate myself forever for this.

If you and your friend group don’t immediately outcast him and report him to the police, you have some serious self-reflection and prioritizing to do.

I was dressed as Hermione fucking Granger. I really didn't want to leave, but the host insisted that I should leave to avoid pissing the other partygoer off. I really didn't want to, but my friends didn't think it was a good idea to stick around. To be fair, the party was pretty boring and we (friends and I) ended up at a bar near the boardwalk and getting nachos and tequila slammers, but that really grinds my gears. I know what JKR tweeted was shitty, but if you have a problem with someone dressing up as a Harry Potter character for Halloween... you need to seek out mental help. I mean, you can't just ask people to leave because they're dressed up as someone from a series you hate. That's not how the world works. It was not made to cater to you. I really wish I stood my ground and didn't leave. If they had a problem with my costume, then fucking tell it to my face instead of asking the party host to do it for you.

You learned something about the host and where you rank according to them

Was walking by this house earlier and stopped next to a drive way trying to see where I was going on my phone. This man was taking grocery bags out of the car to his house. His son comes running out saying “ i got it dad”, grabs the last bag from the car, goes to his dad and grabs some other bags from him. Kid looks maybe 14 or 15? The guy says “what did I do to deserve you” and kissed the top of his son’s head. That weirdly got to me for some reason. I’m a 25 year old guy and that made me pretty emotional. Never had a close relationship with my dad so seeing a sweet little interaction between father and son here makes me happy knowing this kid has a father who clearly loves and appreciates him

I love hearing stories like these. Good, loving people are still out there. Thank goodness.

Three weeks ago, we were paycheck to paycheck. Our bank accounts were always empty. We survived on my husbands (40/m) job and my (34/f) disability. We have kids. Also, at the same time, I was experiencing a terrible cyst on my neck that was leaving me bed bound in excruciating pain but the surgery was going to be $8,000 cash, out of pocket, because Medicare only covers 80%. So on the day of seeing a specialist, my husband took the day off work to go with me. At 7 am, his boss called. He was being placed on paid leaving, pending an investigation, into a mistake he made at work. Nothing too bad, a technical error, but still an error. We both panicked. We have been slowly working our way out of poverty for 8 years.. we were so close to being ok and it was all falling away. We decided to stay positive and just hope for the best. He was a great employee so we thought he would just be written up. Two days later he checked our bank account for something and found that they had deposited his last check and vacation time. He received the official phone call later in the afternoon. We were devastated. He cried. We panicked. His last bought of unemployment was 5 months, before that was 2 years. We have no savings account and barely have enough income to pay the bills, but make too much money for any financial assistance. But we lost our main income. And it was terrifying. So the next day we gathered our records and went to the welfare office. We had enough money to pay some outstanding bills but the future was uncertain. The worst part? Long story short, he can’t collect unemployment for 8 weeks (separate issue, but still stands). So he had the possibility of having $0 income for two months. We were absolutely panicking. But we applied for food stamps and Medicaid. Then, we dove into job applications and he sent out resumes to everywhere in the field. He came across some promising companies. Now, with exactly $0, only enough food to last for about a week, no gas and a good dose of situational depression, we worked together and crossed our fingers. The next day, he got an email invitation for a phone interview. And I got a phone call, my neck surgery was going to be free now that we were poor again. He did the phone interview, the interviewer said that he was a great candidate. A week later he had a video interview and it went great. He got the job. :-) They are going to be paying him $3 more an hour than his last job and there is more room for growth. So we are actually going to be able to afford our bills and like, buy food and pay for medicine. He went from employed but broke to unemployed and screwed to now employed with a better job than before. And I get to have my surgery. Hooray! He doesn’t start for two weeks so we are going to spend some quality time together because life is short and he is probably going to go back to working 50 hours a week. But whew, what a roller coaster ride!

Wilderness training: if you're lost, stay put. Let others come to you and find you. You applied that logic here fabulously. You had every reason to lose it, panic, break down. but staying calm and looking at your real immediate options allowed you to cover the cost of living and keep it together for your partner to successfully job seek. It's good to hear!

I expect this will get downvoted into oblivion but I want to share this, and for the last time. Being open about my experience has caused me nothing but pain and loss. I'm a father and recently divorced, dating again... or was. After a failed loveless marriage was clearly dead end, I took steps to lose weight and get healthy. My love life prior had been sparse and I dated what I could get, including a short empty marriage and a the aforementioned loveless one. I was not longer morbidly obese and for the first time seen as genuinely attractive by a lot of women. A small piece of background detail, I was physically abused as a child viciously. Yeah, I know a lot of people were. I was also molested by my mother, a very toxic and damaged person. This is also something I won't be sharing again either as most have attacked me over their need to never believe a mother could do such a thing. Obviously, my ability to feel trust and comfortable around women was damaged. This becomes key later. I dated a lot of women, even went to therapy again. I had a couple short term relationships, and had finally reached a point when I was truly able to open my heart, trust and love freely. I felt strong and secure. Then I met her. We had amazing chemistry from the start and kissing her was amazing on our second date. The third date was fun too, and we fooled around a little, but something felt off so not much more. We made plans to meet the next night. I came over and we talked. I opened up about some of my past issues, hoping that being completely open would ease my own last lingering doubts. She became cold, and tore me apart, emotionally, emasculating and humiliating me until I was to the point of tears. I never felt so small and worthless in my life. She then climbed on top of me and raped me. I did not consent to it. I said no. She didn't care, I was a piece of meat to her. My body betrayed me and responded, but I was dying inside, repulsed and violated. Afterwards, she was done with me, and I left. I vomited outside of her apartment, went home. I cried that whole night and didn't sleep until dawn. I reached out to friends, but was thought to be lying, or a loser. A couple of female friends became furious with me as they had really been raped, but men can't be. Obviously I was unstable as why hadn't I enjoyed it? One by one I watched most of my relationships crumble or be damaged. Last night, my best friend and I parted ways. Things haven't been the same since that happened to me, after all I was supposed to be the strong friend she replied on. Men aren't allowed to be raped or molested and talk about it. We are laughed at and derided. Just stop being a wimp and get over it. I'm writing this because I'm tired of having to explain myself anymore, having to validate that it really happened to me. I'm tired of the jokes, the loss of respect. I don't date anymore, as I see every woman as another possible predator. I'm also tired of trembling when I hug a new woman for the first time. It's time to bury this all down deep, along with the heart I feel I can no longer share. I'm just damaged goods now. EDIT: I really didn't expect anyone to read this. Thank you for the very positive (mostly) responses and messages. Thank you so much for the gold and silver. I am in therapy and "doing the work". I'm just not going to share this with others. What my mother did was something neither wife could accept, and judging on some comments here and some "lovely" PMs, many can't understand how what happened to to me was possible a few months back. I looked into prosecution, but despite living in a liberal state, I live in a conservative town, and they would do nothing. She also has a friend on the force. Getting ridiculed by the police isn't going to help me. I do have an ex girlfriend that is there for me. She is literally the only woman that I can be touched by. She knows and is supportive. It helps on the rare occasions our schedules cooperate. We aren't compatible as partners, but being held sometimes by someone I do trust really helps. I'm just going it one day at a time, putting on the fake smile and living as best as I can. I'm working to be able to trust again, but it will be a long time. EDIT 2: I am overwhelmed. My whole life has been rejection and pain, to pull myself up and get knocked down again by this event I wrote about. Thank for the platinum, golds and silvers. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you each and every one of you. I don't feel brave, just honest. Over 5000 people see me, and hundreds have reached out. Thank you doesn't even cover it. The world feels a little less cold today. FINAL EDIT (2019-02-19): Thank you for all the support. I wrote this post to just put it out there one last time, and then pretend it never happened and try to move on. I am pleased that it meant so much to so many people, and so many reached out. I'm going to do my best to heal from this and move on in a positive way. I never thought more that 7500 people would care, as I didn't think anyone would, or even see my post. To answer a couple last questions in comments. I did freeze, which is why I didn't throw her off. In the back of my head I still had the notion of not wanting to hurt a woman. Obviously, I would have acted differently if I realized what was happening. I was raped. I don't really care if you believe it, but it happened. Also, to the ugly and hateful comments that have started appearing in my inbox. I couldn't care less about karma or attention. I didn't do this for that. I did that to cry out one last time and then remain silent. I didn't expect this response and it's given me a sense of validation I never expected. I'm sorry that a few of you want me to kill myself and delete this post. I'm sorry that a few of you call me insulting and degrading terms. I have given out all the Reddit coins to people who posted elsewhere for people like me. I'm not letting you bring me down, nor am I deleting this post. I want what I went through to be known for the next guy that has the same thing happen, and all of the wonderful, supportive and even loving comments I received to be shared. To prove I don't care about my karma, I'm deleting my account, to silence those ugly, cowardly voices that lurk in hateful private messages. Thank you again, to the vast majority of you. I will never forget how whole and seen you helped a broken man feel.

I know this doesnt sound like much from a stranger on the internet, but you are not damaged goods. What she did was wrong. Despite what people might say, she was wrong. Your feelings are completely valid. Dont shove them down. Dont bury them. I can't pretend to know what you've been through, but I know I'm deeply sorry. No one should have to go through this and I'm sorry people are being so awful to you. It's not right. Please dont cram it all down. You won't be able to move past it. Again I'm so very very sorry. It's wrong how people think males cant be raped or molested when you most certainly can and its devastating. And if you ever need to talk I'm always available, but please please dont bury it down

Lost 20+ pounds and I’m “finally” in the overweight BMI zone. I thought I’d never get here. Still a long way to go but fuck. I’m so proud of myself.

Congratulations!!

I work in an "old person" home. There are many people here who haven't recognized their family members for over a decade. There are people here who scream and cry every day in confusion and misery. There are people that are so depressed they won't talk. And for this honor? People are paying tens of thousands of dollars a year. Some even more. From a humanitarian perspective - this is insane. Unnaturally prolonging life to squeeze as many miserable days out of the body as you can. Christians who argue that these people must be kept alive to not interfere with god's will drive me insane. Tell me what is "natural" about feeding someone through tubes and dosing them up with 50 pills a day? How is that more natural then, you know..... naturally letting someone die. My god, I don't understand religious people. Faith teaches mercy and to not be cruel. How people can "study" for their entire lives and arrive at the conclusion that keeping someone alive in these circumstances is the right answer is beyond me. From the financial perspective - I don't even see how this is an issue. This is a horrible, horrible, horrible waste of resources. The cost to keep one person, who doesn't even know where they are, alive for 1 year could house and feed a family of four for a year. Don't tell me there's no money for mental health services. There is. We're just spending it in the wrong place. No one talks about this stuff. Not Democrats. Not Republicans. It's an uncomfortable conversation, but we need to have it. But we won't. Because: - there's a lot of money to be made off these people - it's uncomfortable - it will lose votes EDIT : *some ranting EDIT 2: I'm not abdicating for ending one's life against their will. I'm saying that people should be able to pass when they think its time. And if someone is too far gone to even understand the question AND they live each day in misery, then maybe it's time.

I worked on an Alzheimer’s ward during nursing school. I’ve made my husband promise me that if I’m ever diagnosed he has to let me go. I’ll go somewhere with assisted suicide and end it. I won’t put myself or my family through that. So I understand where you’re coming from and feel the same way.

Throwaway, absolutely. It was the best decision I ever made. My now ex-boyfriend was emotionally and verbally abusive. He’d call me derogatory names when I didn’t do something he wanted and he’d make hurtful comments about my body. I’m not even overweight but I have body dysphoria. I was crying every single day. I wanted to leave him but I couldn’t because i was emotionally dependent on him for everything and we were living together. He started going to strip clubs and being open with me about and telling me he enjoys seeing women that look better than me. He went so often that I felt like he was cheating on me. I just had to go for myself and see what it was like. One night I went and decided to pay for a dance. It just so happens the I got a dance from one of the strippers he sees. Little did I know meeting her was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I was a bit drunk and tipsy so I over shared with her about my bf and told her about him. She said she knew who I was talking about because he’d always talk badly about me to the dancers. I just broke down and cried right there like a big idiot in front of her. She gave me a tissue to wipe my tears and gave me a huge hug. She said she didn’t know what my bf was talking about because she thought I was beautiful. It made me cry even more because it made my day for a girl to think I’m pretty at least. I kept going every so often then eventually we exchanged numbers and started going out. I was so surprised to see she dressed like a boy when she wasn’t working and to learn that she was gay. She told me she doesn’t like men at all but she makes good money off of them. People really surprise me a lot. She had/has the cutest personality ever. She opens doors for me and would ask me if I was tired or if I had anything to eat. I realized I was attracted to her and she was attracted to me. This kept going on for a few months. One night she kissed me and told me to leave him and to move in with her. We had sex and she made me look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I’m beautiful. I thought it was time to leave him because at that point I realized I deserved better than to be emotionally, mentally and verbally abused almost everyday by someone I used to love. While he was at work she helped me pack up everything. I sent him a text detailing why I was leaving him. I changed my number and blocked him on everything. I live with her far away from him and haven’t heard from him in months and honestly I’m glad. I don’t care about your opinions on my cheating on my abusive boyfriend. I have no regrets. If I never cheated on him I would’ve never found the power to leave his toxic and abusive ass and be with a girl who loves all of me and makes me feel so beautiful. We’ve been together for six months and I’m still so in love with her. She’s still the same loving and sweet person she was when I first met her. And she’s amazing in bed, like full blown amazing. She makes me cum all the time and he hardly ever did. Maybe only once a month if I’m being honest. She works at a different strip club now and I found a new job I’m starting soon and I’m so excited for new shit to come my way. I feel so blessed and lucky. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone :) If you don’t have a valentine it doesn’t matter just love yourself ❤️ Edit: ok so I didn’t “just go lesbian”. Bisexuality exists for all you ignorant assholes commenting about my sexuality. I don’t care if you think my experience was “fake” or not. Bottom line is I’m in a happy relationship. Thanks everybody for the awards and the kind comments! :) HOLY SHIT THIS REALLY BLEW UP Edit 2: Lots of comments asking if they see each other at the club. I already stated my gf works at a different club now so no they don’t! Edit 3: I didn’t expect this to blow up as much as it did! HOLY CRAP THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HAPPY HEART ♥️ 🥰😘

Abusers are the only people who don't get to complain when their partners cheat. Fuck them.

I’m (25f) a pretty light sleeper and have struggled with insomnia for the last 4ish years so whenever my boyfriend (25m) of almost two years wakes up/moves around/snores in the middle of the night, I wake up pretty easily. Every time he’s woken up to use the bathroom, get water, or simply just to get comfy in a different position, he’s looked at me and has said, “I love you,” kissed me, or tell me how great I am in some way in. Sometimes even all three. He then immediately falls back asleep. Sometimes he doesn’t even remember when I ask him in the morning. Last night he woke up and mumbled, “you are smart, loving, and beautiful.” Insomnia and depression/anxiety can get super defeating and isolating at times, but when he does that, everything seems to not matter anymore and I feel safe. I’m so happy to be with him. Just wanted to share that there are really good people out there that will love you and find ways to tell you—even when they might be asleep. tl;dr: my boyfriend will without a fail tell me he loves me in some way when he wakes up in the middle of the night ps I put this in relationships, but it got removed due to it not being an advice seeking post. just wanted to say thank you to those who gave me awards and warm comments on that one! EDIT: Whoa! This is blowing up way more than I expected! I posted this for 2 main reasons: 1-I wanted other people to know that small gestures can go a really long way. Continue to do them. They probably mean more to someone than you know. There are good people that will do that for you because they care about you. 2-My boyfriend absolutely loves Reddit, and I thought that it would be really cool to give him some recognition on a platform he’s familiar with and to hear how great he is from other people aside from me—he deserves that. You guys really managed to do that. I sent the link to this post over to him. I hope he continues to see himself the way I do and all you guys do. Thanks so much for all the love—and be sure to give yourself some of that too! :) (another edit adding some stuff in first edit and for spelling errors oops.)

He's a keeper. Cherish him. Hang in there with everything. Edit: Thank you. First gold. But that young lady has the true gold.

The title says it all. I'm so glad that he exists. I'm so glad that a huge percentage of guys are watching and learning from him. He's changed my life forever and he'll never know it. You see, a huge amount of people agree with everything he preaches and they make being a Top G their personality. As a result, the number of insufferable douchebags has gone up exponentially and they're easy to identify. He's made picking friends so much easier. It's easy to identify people who I'd rather not spend time with. Thank you Andrew Tate, you've made life easier. Edit cause a lot of people are getting pissy: This is a lighthearted half joke. I'm not fucken "thanking his alleged rape victims for their sacrifice" I just realised that a lot of people are following him, I don't like these people, and thought I'd have a bit of fun.

People get so wrapped up in their own ego, they can't see the douche in the mirror.

This happened no more than an hour ago. This will be detailed and long, I appreciate your patience. My son and I went on our evening walk through the neighborhood. We decided to go down a street we don’t normally go down. My son loves everything nature. He always grabs one rock and one stick to carry with him. He found his rock and stick and we were off. He’s very particular with his items; he holds them tightly and refuses to give them up or drop them. He’s also VERY shy and always buries his head into my shoulder when strangers want to say hi. So, we were walking and I was explaining to him all the flowers we were seeing. He loves it. We crossed the street and sat on the curb. I grabbed some leaves and we watched them float down the running water in the street gutters. An older man in his 80s approached me and says “hey, can you wait a minute” and I of course said sure! I hear a clipping sound and he comes back with a single sprig of lavender from his garden. He goes to hand it to my son and I get ready to grab it from the man and hand it to my son since he NEVER accepts things from strangers. He’s too shy. He’s never accepted anything from a stranger and and people try all the time. To my utter shock my son reached out and grabs the lavender. My son then puts his hand out and drops his stick and rock into this man’s hand. I was FLOORED. My jaw was literally open. I kid you not, tears start filling this man’s eyes. Then my son takes the lavender up to his nose and starts sniffing the flower. He does not know to smell flowers. He’s never done that. Here’s where it gets even wilder. My son says a good few dozen words. But certain letters and sounds he’s not great with yet. He’s not good with (ST) sounds or R sounds. He also only elects to talk when he wants something. He starts making this strruuuuhh sound. Then this Strrrr sound. I’d never heard him make those sounds and couldn’t figure out why all of a sudden he was so eager to make that sound. I them introduce myself and tell the older man my sons name. I ask his name he says “sterling” … my son practically said the name 20 times before I even asked. I was so freaked out we went home. My son was holding onto the lavender, smelling it, smiling, just in heaven. I’ve had multiple strangers stop me on the street since he was just a few months old telling me he’s an old soul. Probably happened 10 times. Well before he could even talk. I just don’t know how to make sense of what just happened.

78.5 years from now your son will go back in time and give himself a sprig of lavender

I can't possibly tell anyone I know about this story, so here it goes: Two years ago, I returned home from my father's funeral. As soon as I opened the door to my apartment, a guy holding a crowbar came out from my kitchen holding my TV. I live in the city, so robberies are common. The guy began shouting at me and he clumsily dropped my TV and began holding the crowbar like it was a baseball bat. I was so stunned at what was happening that I didn't move. The guy screamed at me to empty my pockets. From the stress of the last few days with my father passing away, I simply started crying. Not out of fear at what was happening, but because this was literally the worst time of my life. The worst moment. The worst minute and second. While crying hysterically, I gave the guy my wallet. I just sat on my floor and hugged my knees and told him, through my tears, to "take whatever you want." He hesitated, looked down at me. He dropped my wallet and sat down beside me. Immediately, he began to comfort me. He began to apologize. He put my TV back on the table and told me it wasn't damaged. He told me that he lost his job and that his mom needed medicine that he couldn't afford and that they were homeless. He told me all of this while I just wailed; I cried for my father, who was lost, I cried for my future, for it was uncertain, and I cried because my home had been intruded on in the most violent way. For a good 10 minutes I sat in the floor with a guy who had every intent to rob me, telling me that it would be okay and that he was sorry. He begged me not to call the police. I just started screaming at him to get out. He ran away so fast that he left the crowbar. I threw it after him as he ran down the street. Two days later, I came home from work and he was sitting in front of my door. I was so terrified that I pulled out my phone, but he had this look on his face of--I'm not sure how to describe it--remorse, regret? He told me that he told his mom what he did, and his mom made me some soup. He handed me this tiny bowl wrapped in tin foil. Again, I was stunned and overwhelmed and angry that I slapped the bowl out of his hands and it shattered on the floor. I told him to leave or I was calling the police. He left. I remember he looked upset. I left the soup and shattered bowl outside my door, almost as a warning for him to not come back. About three months after that, I got a note in my mail slot from the guy. He told me his mother had passed away and that he was no longer homeless and that he had a job. He wanted to repay me for breaking into my apartment. He wrote down his address and told me that I was welcome to break into his place if I wanted, but he didn't have much stuff. This all overwhelmed me. I threw away the letter, but I remembered his address. I remember walking by there one day, out of curiosity. It was a ratty apartment building across the city. He was walking up to his room and he saw me. He waved. I turned away and left. He ran after me, apologized again. Told me that he never meant to do what he did. He showed me the program from his mother's funeral that he kept in his wallet. He wasn't lying, she was real. He was real. He was a real person. I don't know what it was, but I believed him. We slowly began to grow together as people? I can't describe it. After a year of maintaining communication and learning about who he was, he enrolled in a local community college and began taking courses to earn credits before applying to university. I helped him study for his history class a lot. He's great at math and science, though. I never invited him over to my apartment, however. No matter how much I got to know him, I was still afraid of him. And he knew that. He knew that I couldn't trust him. But tonight, we went out for coffee because he said he had an exam in his world civ class. When I got there, he said he forgot his book. We just talked for a bit, we laughed, and then he told me he wanted to cook for me. On a whim, I decided to invite him to my apartment. After picking up some things from the grocery store, he came over. I was so nervous that I was shaking. He noticed, he squeezed my hand, and then he made dinner. It was amazing. We talked, we laughed, we sat in the floor and watched a movie on the TV he tried to steal. We made jokes about it. And then he told me that he missed his mom. I gave him a hug. Then he left. I don't know what I feel, but I do know that I can't give up on people anymore. Some people just have the shit end of life. Maybe things have a way of working themselves out? And I miss my dad, too. **EDIT/UPDATE** I am...beside myself to log on this morning and see this at the top of this page. I have been a redditor for a few years, but never thought this would happen. Also, to those of you who are messaging/commenting to confirm the validity of this--I guess it never occurred to me when I wrote this that it sounded so... ridiculous? It really does, I don't blame you for saying it's false, but it's real. He's real. I'm real. It all happened/is happening currently. Thank you all who have messaged me and commented! And thank you to the two people that gave me gold--this is just insane to me. I'm so grateful, so very grateful. **EDIT 2** Sorry for neglecting this; today has been insane with work and hosting a friend's bridal shower. I want to clarify a few things about this, because I am getting a *LOT* of messages about a lot of different things. * People are saying that I am being too "trusting" of him after what happened. You're right, I suppose. I mean, I live in the heart of one of the most dangerous cities. My friend was robbed just a few years ago and was actually physically injured as a result of it, so me "trusting" him did not constitute me giving him a hug after he broke in. It was much, much more than that. * My dad died of a brain aneurysm in March 2013. He passed away peacefully in his sleep. The thing about my dad, though, was that he was the most generous, most kindest man in this world. I know people like to say that about their parents, but it's true about my dad. When I was 4, I remember him giving these guys a ride from prison--they were released after serving their sentence, but had to walk to get to where they were going. My dad picked them up, had them hop in the back of his pick-up truck, and took them home. He put his life, and basically mine, at the hands of these people who could have hurt us. They didn't, thank God. My dad taught me to be selfless and understanding of the world, and of people, and I loved him for that. But when I lost him, it shattered me and turned me into an entirely different person. * After my dad died, I became severely depressed and angry. I was angry at everything. I had to take a leave from my job (I teach second grade). All day, I would lay in bed and think about how much I hated God--or whatever higher power--for taking my dad away. Nothing seemed worth it. After the guy--my *friend*--broke into my apartment, I hated him for a while. I hated my dad for making me so trusting (because I didn't call the cops on the guy). I hated my dad for dying, I hated him for being so incredibly compassionate and better than me. I hated myself for being vulnerable. I just hated everything. * The guy who tried to rob me is a person. And of course, I constantly ask myself when I'm with him, "What happens if he tries to hurt me? Or rob me again?" But the thing about him is that--he *knows* I'm thinking this, and he constantly tries to reassure me. We have grown together as people, as I said. There's a whole two years that I didn't post in this recounting because it would be like a novel-length post. Do I "like" him? I don't think so. I don't think he "likes" me. I think we both understand, respect and honor the other for our mutual struggles. We're proud of each other, and we're both guilty of things. Me for shutting out my friends, family and students and becoming an awful person after I lost my dad, and him for going to incredible lengths to try and save his mother from experiencing incredible agony in her final moments. * I intend to show him this post. I want him to know. He doesn't have a computer or internet, but I think he'll find this humorous. His story is not mine to tell; how his mother died is not my story to tell; what exactly drove him to pry open my front door with a crowbar is not for me to tell; what happened to his family is not for me to tell. But what is for me to tell is that he is a human; he is flawed; God, he's so flawed. But after knowing him, and learning about his life--about his childhood and the tiny little child who used to be so passionate about school and learning as he was, as he told me, I know that he has his story. I have my story. You have yours. * And although I think it is irrelevant, the thought of even dating after the last few years hasn't crossed my mind. Was I involved in relationships prior to my dad's passing? Yes. One was long-term and had a foreseeable end with an engagement, but things happen. Life happens. I'm meeting with him tomorrow at his work, while he's on break, to give him some old study materials that I have from a literature class I took in college. It's all so normal, and I'm not afraid. My dad was never afraid, so I shouldn't have to be. I choose not to be.

Probably the best "So how'd you two meet?" story I've ever heard.

She snooped through my phone and went through messages with my first love/boyfriend. He was the only person I had told. I tried to lie...then minimize...then slowly I told her. She cried and I felt shame cover my body. I was 7 when he started. My mom walked in at one point when he had laid a small pillow on the ground and got on top of me. I was a little girl. He was a young preteen/teen. She made a rule...no closed doors. But she stopped enforcing it after a few weeks and the abuse continued. When she found out, she told my dad (my brothers bio dad too) He pretended nothing happened. A few years later I lived with my dad. He told me my half brother "Timmy" was coming to live with us. That he was homeless and he had to be a good dad to him too. My bedroom opened to the living room Timmy slept in. I knew I was safe. I was older and he wasn't so big as when I was a little girl but the fear never left and nights were brutal. I slept from 5am to 12pm. I had a distant memory of my dad kicking out Timmy when we were younger because he snuck my dad's laptop to watch porn. He kicked Timmy out for touching his things for sexual purposes but he welcomed him home after knowing Timmy touched his daughter for sexual purposes. Timmy didnt show up to the job my dad got him. He had driven his car into a tree on a heroine overdose. He ran away and never came back to my dads house. A year later I was at my dads for Thanksgiving. He told me 5 minutes before dinner started that Timmy was almost there. I was shocked. I didnt have time to gather myself and I awkwardly stood by the food table as others talked to Timmy. My dad came over and gritted his teeth. He seethed that I was being rude and needed to go talk to Timmy. I did as I was told, like always, and walked over and put on a face to talk about the weather and his new job. I texted my dad the next morning. I said I was hurt by his actions and I was uncomfortable. I said I didn't want to be around Timmy because of the sexual abuse. My dad never spoke to me again. That was 5 years ago. Some days I wish they had never found out. How could I face the reality of how they've failed me or turned a blind eye. My mom tells me often how I had a good childhood. When I tell her it wasn't good she yells or cries or shames me. After years of dating older men or men that abused me as well as suffering from depression, anxiety, and PTSD I went to therapy. I now train people in Child Sexual Abuse Prevention. I advocate for children. I have a well paying job and a healthy relationship. I have tons of hobbies and friends. Im a leader. I have boundaries! I didnt just survive CSA, I am thriving in spite of it and I know without a shadow of a doubt that nobody would know unless I told them, not because I wear a mask but because I am genuinely happy and well adjusted now. So happy 10 year to my secret being exposed and the beginning of my journey of healing (that will be ongoing for the rest of my life) and growth!

I'm so sorry that you went through all that. I am crying for you, both with anger towards those people who wronged you and with happiness and proudness of what you have done and accomplished. I am so happy for you that you've been able to stand and grow despite adversaries. I'm very proud of and for you, OP! I hope for an even brighter tomorrows to come. Stay strong!

I may not be a perfect mother, I can't afford every single field trip or to show up to every school event with a fresh batch of cupcakes. I'm not a happy little homemaker, I have shit to do, and an 8 year old girl's basic needs to cover. I have to do what I do. I'd love to have options but I just fucking don't have that luxury. And because nobody is reading this anyway, to the office lady at my daughter's elementary school, fuck you, Janet. You don't know shit about my daughter and I. Every time I'm forced to interact with you I can literally hear your eyes rolling because, for example, I was 8 minutes late and unfortunately can't telepathically will the gods of public transport to not spend 30 minutes looping around every destination before my own and then getting stuck in traffic. Edit. WOAH. I haven't checked this post in hours but you guys are the best. I sincerely didn't think anyone would read my crazy rant. Can't help but to smile at every "Yeah, fuck you, Janet" comment, lmao. Thank you guys for the awards and all of the orange things in my inbox, I'm trying to respond to you all ❤

My sister plans on divorcing her abusive husband but is worried about what people will think of her being a single mom. Everyone’s situation is different, but I’ve told her it’s better for her to be a single parent than have an abusive husband.

Short back story: 29, Married and father of 2. Never attended High School but got my GED at 17. Went to CC at 23 and transferred to a 4 year after getting my AA. Writing has always been the most challenging subject for me. Recently, I had to submit a 6 page paper for a Sociology class. I worked really hard on it and poured an obscene amount of time on it. Read through several Reddit posts on how to structure a paper. Today I got back my grade and my Professor said this, " You produced some really excellent work, Robert; it is one of the most organized, clearly articulated, and supported with evidence papers I've read in this class. " I'm in school for my family and hope one day I can provide a better life for them. I began to cry after reading the message my Professor left me. It's taking such a long time for me to get my degree and sometimes it feels like I don't see enough return on my effort. I feel so encouraged now! Edit: Wow this is my first post to blow up! Thank you guys so much. It's great to know the support is out there. What you guys are saying is really inspiring. I'm in the middle of studying for a test and will reply soon! I haven't forgotten about you. I don't know what I would do without the Reddit community. Edit 2: I got a 92 on my test!

That is wonderful! May I make a suggestion? Tell your prof this. When students tell me things like this, it reinforces the reason I teach and why I try to be there for my students. Students like you are why we do what we do.

*crying* Edit: thank you for the silver! And the gold!

You’re a fucking rockstar!

So today, after dinner, I said to my 4-year-old, "What do you call a magician's dog?" She smiled. I said, "A Labracadabrador". She belly-laughed and said "Like abracadabra!" Okay, so she may not have understood the whole context, but still... I don't care. I'm so proud. She's my first kid. The first few years, developmentally, watching the cogs turn, are fucking crazy as it is. But watching her develop a sense of humour, albeit a shitty one (my fault!), is just bloody brilliant. EDIT: Wow, thanks for all the love everyone. This thread has really made my day! Much appreciated - and loving all the jokes 😅

Be sure to schedule her dentist appointments for 2:30, that one always made me smile

My wife just got reddit a few months ago and she’s very self conscious about posting and people not liking the content. She’s a little new to the internet and stuff because she grew up without being allowed to use it so she’s afraid she won’t fit in. So I go and make sure I give all her posts at least one award wether it’s one I buy or a free one. Every time I do so she’ll always come running into the room with the biggest smile ready to show me said award. It makes me so happy seeing her so excited over it that it makes my day probably as much as it makes hers. She always sends the sweetest thank you messages for them saying how grateful she is for someone liking her post. I hope she never catches on to what I’m doing because seeing her so excited always reminds me how much I love her. Edit to clear things up: to those who are concerned that I’m “stalking” her acc without her knowing, I’m literally the one who made it for her. She also follows my main that’s why I’m using a throwaway.

Oh how lucky she is. This is wholesome. You're an amazing partner. Good luck to you both ❤️

One of my classmates has an almond allergy, while I’m allergic to bee stings. We were out together with some other friends yesterday. He bought a pie without checking. It contained almond in it and he got anaphylactic. I checked his bag but didn’t find any epipen so I quickly used mine on him. His parents were really glad he’s ok but then told him off for forgetting his epipen at home. Meanwhile, my parents is now telling me off and saying it’s expensive, and that I shouldn’t have used it on him. Even though I told them I’ll take part time jobs and buy a new pack myself since I only have one pen left now, they are still grumbling about ‘waste of money.’ I just don’t know what to feel now. I’ve already applied for and gotten a job as a waiter at a local restaurant this morning. I don’t regret what I did but I just wish they’d understand me. UPDATE : Following the advice of several commenters, I asked my parents to consider it from a different perspective. I told them to imagine if it had been me who forgot epipen at home and got an allergic reaction. I asked them how they would feel if another guy could have saved me but chose not to do so due to the costs. That seemed to have done the trick as they said they shouldn’t have reacted that way. They then told me they will talk to my friend’s parents and see if my friend’s parents would replace the epipen I used. UPDATE 2 : My parents talked to my friends’ parents. They told me that my friends’ parents gave them the money to buy a new pack of epipens.

I used my epi pen on a total stranger at a restaurant in the Bahamas. (On trips thereafter I brought two: one in case a stranger had a shellfish allergy as well and a second so that I wouldn’t have to freak out the rest of my trip). The manager picked up my tab that night. As this was at a resort, the person I helped tracked me down before flying home and offered to replace it. You did the right thing — and they should be buying you a new one as a kind gesture.

Last night I (19m) had my friend over (19f) to play video games. We were playing mario cart when suddenly she got really quiet and was staring off into space, she looked pale, like she was sick or something. It was concerning me so I asked her whats wrong but she didn't answer, instead she got up, went straight to my bathroom and vomited in my toilet for 10~ minutes. When she got back she didnt say anything she just curled into my bed and started crying while holding her abdomen. She was sweating like she just out ran Usain Bolt while piling more blankets on top of herself. She was unable to hold still, she kept twisting and turning like she was being possessed by the devil, seeing her in that much agony made me feel sick too. I was mortified, I had no idea what was happening and I didnt know if I should call for help or not, I honest to God thought she was dying or something. I asked her again what was wrong and if there was anything I could do for her. She told me "I started my period, do you have any painkillers?" I shuffled through my drawers for some advil. I took 1 out of the bottle and gave it to her, but she took the bottle from me and emptied 3 more into her hand and swallowed all 4. At this point I felt useless so I went to my mom for help. She immediately knew what to do, she grabbed some pads, tampons, and a heating blanket to give my friend. Now, I might be a complete idiot with a lack of knowledge on this stuff, but if I know one thing for sure its that girls love chocolate during this time. So I made a quick trip to the gas station for some snacks while my mom assisted her. It was a small gesture, but it was the only way I knew how to help her. When I got back she seemed to be doing better. She wasn't sweating profusely anymore, she was calm and not writhing in pain like before. After the pills kicked in she was able to function again. She was able to settle down and we went back to playing games. I'm shocked this was from period cramps. I know cramps are painful, I just thought it would feel more like a quick punch to the gut, a brief pain that goes away after a few minutes. I didn't think it would be equivalent to having your organs harvested by aliens. I guess it was hard for me to conceptualize just how painful they can be for some women since I've never experienced the pain for myself. I'm sorry some of you basically die every month, that's gotta suck and I sympathize with you.

Definitely not reminiscent of a punch to the gut. The pain is actually similar to pains you'd go to the hospital to get checked out, constant and impossible to ignore. The only way to differentiate is the placement of the pain. There's also really bad back pain, the nerve pain kind. And some women feel their entire vulva tense up with pain. It varies though for different women, some have light cramps, light flow. But for many.. them cramps be putting us into comas.

I grew up on every kind of government assistance you can think of. Single parent household, dad commit suicide when I was younger due to financial problems. I Dropped out of highschool at the age of 16 and decided I wanted to change my life around. I did not want to end up in financial issues and potentially end up like my dad. I went to college applied for aids and graduated. I got a job straight out of college and purchased a house at age 22. I now make 100,100$ annually at the age of 26. I'm sorry if this sounds like a brag but I am so effing proud of myself for not being a statistic like my highschool counselors said I would be. I'm so glad I have been able to help my mom out when she needs it. I'm so glad my other siblings don't need to grow up in poverty like I do. I'm so glad I don't live paycheck to paycheck like we grew up. I'm so glad I've never taken a payday advance. I would like to shout to the rooftop about how proud of myself I am for reaching something I never thought possible but unfortunately don't want to lose friends or create any drama/jealousy so instead I'll post it to the interwebs. Edit: Thank you so much kind internet strangers for the awards! I didn't know anyone would even read this thread let alone award it! 🥰

Whats your field ?

I'm (23m) currently sitting next to my partner (22F) in hospices while she has her last days on Earth, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I'm on the verge of a panic attack, and am physically and mentally exhausted. She was diagnosed 2 years ago, and just 2 weeks ago she had an unexpected turn and was put into hospice, as she was vomiting each hour and couldn't drink or eat anything (Brain Cancer) She is my life's and the most beautiful person I have ever met (if a person was a sunflower, it would be her). She has so many amazing people around her and I am so lucky to have had her by my side, and in my life. I have not cried in front of her, or around her, because I never want her to worry about me, and be comfortable where she is. I have been telling her stories of all our memories togethers and I get the odd little smile, which is keeping me strong. She is currently unresponsive, except for the odd cough, and she currently has the "death rattle" when she breathed I just needed to put this somewhere, and just need someone to vent to

Hi. I am in the exact same situation twice your age. Me 44m her 43f. She has liver cancer and she entered hospice on Friday. She lost the strength to walk yesterday. She has to wear diapers and she wets herself a lot. She is so embarrassed. She wants this to stop so bad. It hurts watching, knowing these are the memories I’ll have. She hasn’t eaten in weeks so at least there’s no poop to clean she says and she cries and cries. The constant being in pain. It’s unbearable. I hope both our ladies get peace in the very near future friend. I really do. Be strong for her please.

Hi. I don't know why I'm posting this! It's exactly as the title says. From the ages of 6 until 13, I was a child prostitute. Not voluntarily, obviously. My parents were both drug addicts. They sold me for drug money. That's all I remember from the "normal" part of my childhood. They got a lot of money for me because I'm Asian (they have a "system," certain races go for more than others). I faintly remember being led into the back of a car and waving bye to my parents, not knowing that I would never see them again. My memories are very patchy. They're either very foggy or extremely vivid. TRIGGER WARNING FROM THIS POINT FORWARD!!! SKIP THIS IF YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR SPECIFICS!!! I don't remember my first "client." There were too many people to remember them all. I do remember the "regulars" though. I remember one of them telling me that I reminded him of his daughter. I remember one of them making me lay in a bathtub full of ice so I'd be cold like a corpse. I remember one of them making me do things with one of the other kids I "worked with." I "served" a lot of people. At least 100. I had about 16 regulars. I remember them very vividly. I also remember the other kids who worked with me. I remember an older girl who used to hold me when I cried, she told me that I'd get used to it one day. She was probably 13 when I got there. She taught me methods on how to get through it. She told me to imagine that I was anywhere but there. But my whole world, my whole life, was in that place. I didn't know anywhere else. On her 18th birthday, she was gone. I don't know what happened to her. I dream about her sometimes. If I could have one wish, I would wish to see her again. TRIGGER WARNING OVER!!! WELCOME BACK! I don't know why they got rid of me before I turned 18. I try not to think about it too much. I was homeless for the entirety of my teenage years. I worked up quite the criminal record committing stupid crimes. Pickpocketing, shoplifting, etc. I was poor, hungry, cold, and scared. I "lived" with a group of fellow homeless people. I got a job when I was 18, and I never looked back. I'm 22 now, turning 23 later this year. I have my own apartment, a stable job, friends who love me, and freedom. I'm so proud of myself for surviving.

one of my professors for a crim class i took said during a lecture once that there is “no such thing as a child prostitute. they are victims.” i’m so sorry you had to go through that. i’m so very proud of you for not only surviving, but living on!! making friends? having a stable job and apartment? you’re like a year and a half younger than me and i only have 1/3 of those things. keep up the amazing work 🤍

I am a straight white man with a bisexual girlfriend. I’ve been trying to expand my horizons a bit over the past few years and she asked me to go to a drag show with her. Against my typical nature, I said yes. It was the most fun I’ve had in ages. It was packed elbow to elbow. I didn’t see a single fight. Someone bumped me and I dropped my drink on the foot of a drunk person, I apologized, and the drama was immediately over with no hard feelings. No one got in a fight. The show was really funny, the drag queen announcer had me cracking up when they were dogging on people in the crowd and making people who were there for their birthday dance on the stage. Everyone was dressed up in pride costumes and genuinely looked like they were having a great time and wanted to be there. My favorite part was when a 68 year old lady got a dance from a male stripper and the dude smiled huge and gave her a big hug and kiss on the cheek. She looked like my grandma, and she walked out on the stage for her birthday walk/dance, and the crowd went absolutely berserk cheering for her, and I’ll be she’d never had that entire type of attention her whole life. Come on straight white people… these are the people we call pedophiles? These are the people we are scared of being nearing children? Give me a fucking break; I have never seen such a drunk, densely packed large crowd of people so nice to one another, so nice to me, and having such a positive and accepting towards anyone, even white ass straight me. It didn’t turn me gay either; as it turns out the gay is not contagious, but it’s got me thinking maybe if it did, that wouldn’t be that a bad thing to be a member of the least toxic community I’ve seen in years. As a country we can do better. I’m going next year. I don’t vote conservative, but they have at least one white, rural male that will never vote to take away rights, status, or protection. EDIT: Holy crap I didn’t expect this to blow up like this. Thanks so much guys! Thanks for the awards! Also, to those trying to cause issues by reporting me to Reddit, get a life and get out your basement… and to a pride event.

54 yo gay man here and it just dawned on me that I’ve never seen a bar fight.

I really need as many prayers sent to my mom and family as possible... she is currently in the ICU on lifesupport with brain damage right now, they are even saying she's brain dead, but they are going to get a 3rd Neurologist and run more EKG/ECG and an Apnea test to be 100% sure.. All of this happened in a matter of 2 days on Dec 11th. A healthy, beautiful 47yr is now fighting for her life because of a god damn GALLBLADDER SURGERY! The doctor fucked up and didn't secure the clamp on the artery, it then fell of hours after her surgery. Because the clamp fell off, she bled internally so much to where none went to her heart, so she coded 3x. Because of coding so many times, not enough oxygen went to her brain and now its severely swollen and she is being declared brain dead. She has been on lifesupport for 9 days now. She can't breathe on her own, her heart wont beat on its own, her brain is severely swollen, her eyes are fixed, all her neurological test are unresponsive.. because of . A . Fucking . Gallbladder. Surgery. Im only 20 years old and im losing my mom.. Im her only daughter, her only child. Its just my dad, mom and I. I don't know how to cope with this. I am so fucking angry at the doctor qho did this to her but im trying to stay positive and praying for her recovery non stop I don't know what to do but be here with her 24/7 and praying non stop. *please please please send prayers to my Mom in ICU*

We're here for you! I'm praying for your mum and your family!

I’m the only person in my office under 50. When I first started everybody told me to watch out for this guy. He was pretty open about his constant drinking and smoking (cigarettes and marijuana) and had a very abrasive personality. For some reason though I liked him right away, and I think he liked me too, he told my supervisor he thought I was smart. He used to yell and just rage at everyone, call them names, call them stupid and every creative insult that you can think of. Was not that good of a guy to almost everyone. But it was never directed at me, the bright eyed and bushy tailed woman right out of college. The one time he gave me guff was when I asked for his advice because there was a problem in his department, and when he started in on me I immediately said “I don’t have time for this shit,” and left his office and went back to the situation I was handling. And it got handled. He never said a mean word to me again and I heard through the office grapevine later that he really respected me for that. Well, all that drinking and smoking and stress of being an asshole caught up to him, I guess. He found out he had cancer and it got bad fast. He changed a lot- I think it hit him that his time was running out, but too late. I think he alienated just about everyone but me, I was one of the only people that spoke to him on friendly terms. I even brought him some of my favorite books to read during his chemo treatments. One day at work a few months ago he collapsed and never came back. And I got word from my supervisor in an email that he died this morning. One of the first times I was warned about him was when I was brand new and having lunch with another coworker at Chili’s, and we spotted him at the bar throwing back margaritas. She made it sound really scandalous but I didn’t care. Let the man have a nice lunch break, geez. I saw him there a few more times over the years on especially hard work days. So today on my lunch break I went to Chili’s, threw back a margarita and had a steak in his honor. I’m glad he’s gone. He was a really unhappy man and you could tell he was in an unimaginable amount of pain at the end. If there’s anything after this life, and I believe there is, I would like to think he’s pain free and being an asshole to some rookie angel who isn’t doing their job right. Rest In Peace, man.

That is NOT the direction I expected this to go in

Just announced he has passed from colon cancer. You will be missed.

He still continued filming despite he surgeries and chemotherapy. A true King. I hope he finds peace. But this is just so fucking sad. 2020 really needs to chill.

I slept with her twice. The condom broke the second time. She’s 6 weeks along and doesn’t believe in abortion, which is her choice and her right. I talked with her about it and it’s just not an option. I’m getting a paternity test. She’s 7 years younger than me. Oddly enough I’m not freaking out that much. It’s not ideal but I’m gonna make the best of it. I’d rather support this stranger through the pregnancy and find out it’s not mine rather than let her go through a miserable lonely pregnancy just to find out it is mine. I’m picking up overtime and putting money away. I’m taking things slow but I at least want to see if there is any real compatibility between us, who knows maybe we’d even wind up making a good couple and be able to give the little nugget a two parent household. Miraculously I just got offered a better job with decent benefits which is better than what I have now(decent job without benefits). I’m excited, I’m scared, this isn’t how I imagined bringing a child into this world but no matter what I’ll be here, ready and waiting. Wish me luck, send diapers. Good day to you all. Edit: For the people calling me an asshole because you looked at my post history and saw I had a family- I was engaged to her, she did a lot of horrible things including cheat on me and hit me in the face(which were final straws). I miss my step kid very much. I haven’t talked to my ex in about 2 months now. But thanks for assuming I’m a piece of shit for trying to move on from a shorty relationship that I thought was good by rebounding on tinder. Sheesh Edit 2: I’ve been getting a lot of requests for updates so I will probably make a monthly update. Not sure if I should do it on this post or a new one so let me know because I don’t do this much. I’d be glad to share with you all every step of this crazy journey Update 1, 11/6: she stayed over for the first time last night. I showed her my post. She had mixed feelings about some of the comments here but we really appreciate all the positive support from most of you. We have doctor appointments scheduled and I plan on being at every one of them. I told her I just wanted to spend some time together without things getting too heavy(basically skip the sex and do dinner instead lol). It was really nice. I fell asleep with her on my shoulder. She’s not showing yet but I couldn’t help but to rest my hand on her stomach while she was asleep and just stare at the belly that is potentially growing my(our) little nugget. We talked about names. Right now we like Cooper for a boy, Charlie or Delilah for a girl but obviously it’s all subject to change. We talked about taking things slow and building our foundation and really getting to know each other. Get to know how eachother operates in their day, get to know what the other’s aspirations and dreams and goals in life are. She’s super interesting, her personality is very cute. Our love languages seem to at least be matching up a little. I started to make videos of myself for the kid. Idk I think it’s cute. There’s so many things about growing up and being a good person that I know I’ll forget over time, so when something stressful comes up or something super happy, I share it with them. I want them to know the kind of people their parents were before they came along, how much learning and growing I’ve done to even get to this point of being a fully functioning human. It’s not easy, I wish I had a handbook of how to handle childhood, teenage, and adult life. I want to share with them my happy moments, and even if they’re not here with me, I want them to know I’m experiencing it all with them whether they realize it or not. I don’t have a lot of money, but this kid will always be rich in love and affection and support. I’m gonna stop here, I think I’m getting ahead of myself but it’s hard not to but it’s getting me all emotional now so I’m going to go listen to some music and reset my brain to focus on the day ahead of me. Thank you all for reading. I’ll update again in a couple weeks or so just to let you all know how things are panning out.

This is just wow, it’s nice that you think like this.. As long as you both are willing to make it work, it’ll work. Best of luck to both!!

We all just worked with her over the weekend. She had a dark sense of humor, so we didn't think anything of it when she joked that life wasn't worth living during her shifts. And then Monday she was just gone. No one knows how to respond to it. She worked with us for a year. I really don't know how to process it; none of us do. So we just stay as busy as possible, and we don't really talk about it. I don't know if any of us know how to, so we just don't. I can tell you that she was way too young. She had a Starbucks addiction. She listened to a lot of The 1975. She was saving everything she had for an apartment. She had two parents who loved her. She could make any of us laugh with her out-of-the-blue comments. I was trying to set her up with my brother, because she said something one day that made me think "he would love her sense of humor." And now she's just gone. And when I left on Saturday, I just snuck out the back door so no one would ask me to do anything else. I didn't say goodbye to her. I know she probably wasn't thinking about us in her final moments, but she is all I can think about now. I guess what I would tell anyone now who's struggling is that you may not think people care about you, but there are so many people who are going to miss you when you're gone. ​ **EDIT: I wasn't really expecting this kind of response, so I'm a bit overwhelmed. There are so many responses, comments, and messages I've gotten with others sharing their own personal experiences, from both perspectives, and I'm reading through all of it. Thank you to everyone, truly, no matter what perspective you have. I'm so sorry so many of you have lost, and so many others have worn the other shoe.** **The biggest takeaway for me, and hopefully for anyone reading this edit, is that if you're struggling, please reach out. Tell a friend. Make a post. Whatever it takes. The amount of strangers in the world who are willing to just sit and listen to you is absolutely outstanding.**

I’ve been out of work almost a year due to covid and found out my coworker passed and it’s such a feeling never seeing them again. You sound like a good coworker she’s probably noticed it

My beautiful daughter was murdered on August 9, 2023 in San Marco, Jacksonville, Florida. She was just sitting in her car waiting for a train to pass when the person behind her got out of his car, walked up to her window and shot her 7 times, then got back in his car and drove to Tennessee and killed himself. He also killed another lady. His obituary says he had parents, a brother, grandparents and aunts and uncles. Not a single person has reached out to my family to explain what what going on in his life that would make him so angry he would kill a a random person. Toxicology showed no drugs in his system. The detective told me he was fighting with his mom. So..he killed my daughter instead of his mom? Why was he so mad her? Don’t I deserve to know? I’m sure the brother has all the answers. I wish someone would tell my why my daughter is dead. My life has been destroyed and I will never be okay. I love you Paige.

Many district attorney offices and even police departments have victim advocates. Consider reaching out to them where the crimes took place. I’m sorry for your loss, may Paige’s memory be a blessing

When I was little I had a huge sweet tooth, and I loved my dad’s spaghetti because he put a little sugar in my tomato sauce so I’d like it better. Last week my dad visited me and brought me spaghetti for dinner. I put it in my fridge and forgot about it for a few days until a couple of nights ago. I was extremely sad the other day, to the point of thinking about some very not so good things. I wanted something quick and easy to eat, so I warmed up my dad’s spaghetti, and for the first time in years I tasted the sugar in the tomato sauce. I know it’s stupid and it may seem really small, but I’ve really been struggling with major depressive disorder for years now, and knowing that my dad loves me and still tries so hard to make me happy brings tears to my eyes. EDIT: thank you very much for all of your kind words! Good dads are special people, and I hope this post helps everyone remember a good memory with someone they love. EDIT 2: I’ve also seen a lot of comments saying that putting sugar in spaghetti is common. I didn’t know this, since my mom likes her spaghetti very savory and she’s never done this. I’ve also never had sweet spaghetti at a restaurant or any other public place. I’d like to say that I am not trying to be special by saying that my dad did this, but rather that it meant a lot because he’d make a batch for him and my mom that was more savory, and then a batch for me that was sweet. It’s very touching that he still does this years later because he remembered how much I like it. Thank you to everyone for pointing this out :) everyone should have the joy of eating sweet spaghetti.

A dad’s love is a powerful thing. I would do anything for my little girl. There are better days ahead OP. <3

I need to say it to someone, I dont have much of anyone to tell. I actually kept it secret from most people. Its been even scarier with covid. How I lucked out from getting it, I feel is a miracle for me. But its nice to be cancer free for the holidays. I wont be going much of anywhere but my aunt said she'll bring me a plate of food and a bunch of goodies since its not a good idea to visit. Anyways just want to share a bit of good news. I hope you guys have a great day!!!

Congrats!! Glad you made it. The world is so much better with you in it 😊

I want to tell my mom and my siblings, but they're all essential workers and have been super busy lately so I don't just want to talk about myself when we talk. But also, if I don't tell someone I think I'm gonna explode. I just got word that I was accepted into my grad school program and it just feels like such a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. With this comes brand new experiences to navigate and may come with new anxieties and worries in the future, but I'm so excited. This is the only program in my area that is feasible for me to attend, so I didn't have a backup plan ready if I didn't get in. It's such a huge relief and I kind of want to cry and laugh and just lie on the ground and stare into space and let it sink in. I don't mind if this doesn't get much attention, but I needed to share. EDIT: Wow, this got much more attention than I bargained for. Thank everyone so much for your kind words and well wishes. To everyone who is in a similar boat, congratulations! Hearing about other people's good news is just adding to the excitement. My mom's next day off is in a couple days. I'm gonna call her when she's off work and share the good news with her and my brothers! Thanks so much for all of your support! Also, thank you for the gold! I really appreciate it, but if you are thinking of gilding this post, please consider donating those funds instead. Maybe buy an essential worker lunch or donate to a food bank 😊 EDIT PART II: I talked to my mom and my brothers and they were super excited. My mom is often not very expressive in any conversation but she did get quite excited and congratulated me several times. Thank you again to everyone who congratulated me and wished me well. You guys are great

> I kind of want to cry and laugh and just lie on the ground and stare into space and let it sink in. Do it. Lock your door, lay down, and let it all sink in! Congrats

This has been the hardest week of my life- waiting to see if the melanoma had spread. It’s hard to explain the thoughts and emotions I’ve lived through while waiting for the test results. I’m so happy. Fuck you cancer, I caught you before you made my life a misery! Edit - wow, thank you for all of your words of kindness! I’m overwhelmed, more tears of happiness!

Yay! Congrats! Begone Cancer!

I'm a slow person not considered disabled, just slower. I learn slower, I do things at a slower pace. I'm just as frustrated as you are when I'm taking too long to count change to give to a cashier or trying to formulate a sentence to express what I need to. I still have eyes and ears. I can see the eye rolls and heavy sighs when you're too impatient for me to try to do what I need to. I hear those whispers and giggles you make at my misfortune, making fun at how dumb I look trying to read something off a menu. Sometimes I go home crying because I know I'm not normal. I know I'm being made fun of. I'd give anything in the world to not be a burden on others, causing stupid issues that usually no one else does. Please stop bullying me because I really am trying my best. I'm still human so please treat me like one. Edit: All I can say is wow everyone. I never expected this much attention. My phone was blowing up during Easter and I was crying so much while reading the comments. I read every single one and heard every word each of you said. I'm very touched and blessed you took your time to read and respond. I wanted to touch on each topic people brought up and respond on my view on everything. To those who said you love me, want to be my friend, hug me, any other way of showing that love, I love you too! Thank you for, well, being you. :) To those who did admit to doing some things and view this as an eye opener, thank you for correcting yourself. Patience and understanding of people not in your situation can be a little tough, I get that. Take away and use this eye opener in all different aspect of life and different situations. View through the other's eyes, you'll see wonderful things. To those that would stand up for me, encourage me to take my time, even just give me a smile, it helps out. I start to know I have support, I don't have to rush anymore. Support in any situation can make a huge difference! To those saying it's probably just anxiety, I am going to somewhat agree with you. When the moment comes and you know you're going to struggle, it does cause anxiety. I'm usually not anxious till I have that feeling of dread. People's judgements and negative reactions cause more anxiety, ultimately making it worse. To those who comment on my writing skills, commenting on I should write a book, thanks! Haha! Maybe someday! To those who are just like me, are in somewhat similar situations, ever felt that way, know someone like me, read the comments. It may not be directed at you, but it's about you/your loved one. It's about us. It's about our community, humanity. There are such wonderful people in this world, too. Breathe it in. See the support, love and hope people bring. Take this with you. Love yourself because people love you too. :)

Love this posts vulnerability. You should be so proud of yourself. And FYI; those people who sigh or react like that are not reacting to you, theyre reacting to themselves. Most peoples reactions to strangers are reactions to themselves, its all relative to how shitty they are to themselves if they were in your circumstance in that moment. You have no obligation to be less of yourself so you can make some stranger feel that their inernal metrics are universally applied. Fuck strangers who do this to you, this post was well written and real unlike half of what goes up in this site. Edit; to whomever gave me my first silver and gold, thank you! :) I am truly humbled

Not all of us are selfish and apathetic. A lot of us are just as disgusted by what is happening in these borders as you are. We care about our community and just want what is best for our neighbors. Some of us are seriously trying to stop this pandemic and this shit show. America has lost its way, we see it. I'm sorry you have to watch from the outside. Just know that not all of us are as insane as it seems we are.

New Zealander here. Dont worry! I have spent a lot of time in your country and can honestly say I like the vast majority of Americans. Always friendly and helpful and we felt welcomed. We are watching from down under and I am seriously worried about my darling friends there very much. But as for the country as a whole? You are pretty good people you just have a few idiots but hey - so does every country! You're not unique just bigger than most.

It’s over a period of time, so forgive me Three years ago, I (23 at the time) had a coworker S (19 at the time) we are both in the military Halloween that year, one of our OTHER coworkers (30-ish M) Kept trying to get in her pants, and she kept trying to be polite about rejecting him, as she had gotten married to her basic training beau 30th, he kept groping her and she kept telling him no, so I got between them until he left. On the 31st, he kept pouring her drinks until she was so drunk she knocked over beer pong and he tried to get inside her. I ended up shoving him and hitting him with a solo cup, and the only other women there backed me up. He said it wasn’t his fault that she “acted single” and some of the other drunk dudes agreed with him. I told him he was a piece of shit, and took her back to my barracks room begging her to report in the morning. She did not, because she was afraid of being in trouble. Cut to one year later (I wasn’t there for this one) but it happened again, and she reported it. I drove her to the airport to get to her new command. The POS who assaulted her got by with a slap on the wrist. “Don’t want to ruin a career” and all that. I was so angry, so full of hate and rage that I cried. It sucked. But now I’m just pissed. I can’t guaranteed I’d ever help him other than to send him over to the next life. I don’t speak to him unless absolutely necessary. But. We have friend circles. Sometimes we go out in groups, and nobody tells me he’s there until I’m already there. So. Any time I hear him talking to a girl, and it looks like she’s liking him, I tell her what he did. I tell her that I saw him, and that he’s a repeat offender. That bro doesn’t care about consent, and that he’s fucking garbage that only cares about a hole to fuck. They don’t talk to him after, leave him high and dry and I take immense joy in letting people know the fucking piece of shit he is. I wish I could hit him with a truck, but that’s illegal. So. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

You're a good person for doing this, and thank you for that. Also, to hell with that pathetic POS.

5 years ago while I was driving home I ran a guy over and killed him. I was driving home and then a guy dressed in garbage bags rolled into the street I tried to hit my brakes when I realized I hit something but it was too late. The guy ended up getting stuck under my car and I dragged him 30 feet. It happened at night near a gas station and they came out and called the cops and the gas station had a jack they lifted my car but it was already too late he was already gone by the time help got there. It was a trail of blood from where I hit him. I was so scared I cried so much. The police searched around the area I hit him and they found a back pack it it had the guys ID and a suicide note to me. Well to the person that killed him it said “I’m sorry, the was the only way I could do it and go through with it”. I didn’t get in any trouble at all because the guy used me to commit suicide. I’m 22 now I’ve been through a lot of therapy but I remember everything from that moment They lifted the car and tried to pull him out. Like his stomach just torn open and his neck and head twister. I only stared for 3 seconds before I jerked my head away but it feels like I looked for an hour with all the details etched in my head. I just always think why did he choose me ya know. Why didn’t he just shoot him self or overdose on drugs.

Correction, you did not Kill a man, a man used you to kill him self. For your healing you need to try not to own that act. It wasn't yours, it is his.

*Edit 3: I just found out that Gus Johnson made a video on this very topic, go check it out, it’s great.* I have no god damn clue why chris brown is *still* successful and *still* has a fucking career. Like, jesus christ, how the fuck can a consistently violent, horrible, unapologetic, piece of shit like him *still* have cutthroat, diehard, unwavering fans who suck his dick at every possible turn. How the fuck can amazing and talented people like Jamie Foxx, Lil Dicky, DJ Khalid, and more kiss his ass as if he never even did all this horrible and unforgivable shit. He beat Rihanna literally within an inch of her life, he threw a rock through his own mother’s window, he beats the shit out of people for no good reason, he steals, he sexually assaults women, he’s had various restraining orders granted against him from various women, he’s been convicted of assault, battery, assault with a deadly weapon, and so much more. I hate Chris Brown, he’s a total piece of shit and you should hate him too. Edit: some of you don’t understand something very simple. It’s that he hasn’t changed a bit, and he still does this shit, and he still *is* a piece of shit. Like, what the fuck, do your research like I did, and stop being a brainlet. To the rest of you, thank you for *not* being stupid and trying to argue that he’s not a terrible person. Edit 2: I’m not a part of cancel culture, and this isn’t a “kevin hart makes a racist joke 10 years ago” situation. This is a violent criminal, unapologetic and unchanged. This is absolutely not “oh no he said the racist words, let’s wipe him off the face of the earth.” Do you have any idea how much of a gut punch it is to be a content creator and then seeing that this shit is just not only allowed but also completely disregarded? Do you know how painful it is to see role models like Jamie Foxx just kissing his ass? In Brown’s biographical documentary, he’s portrayed as this underdog who clawed his way to the top, and people were always against him and boo hoo cry tears for him because he’s changed from his “controversial past.” Fuck off, stop defending him *edit 4: play Vivaldi’s storm while reading this to get a fun experience.*

sidenote but "amazing and talented" and "DJ Khaled" should not be in the same sentence

i’ve always had a horrible relationship with food. my grandmother had a fixation with keeping me as skinny as possible which resulted in her either not feeding me enough or taking food away. my mother had zero interest in cooking or really being a parent so she fed me the bare minimum resulting in me being underweight most of my life and not understanding how to feed myself once i was able to do so myself so i would either barely eat for days or overeat and make myself sick. i now have a toddler who loves to eat everything and anything but will not eat unless i’m eating with her. she’s gotten me into the habit of eating balanced meals three times a day and little snack in between. for the first time in my life i’m not afraid of food and i don’t feel like my body is falling apart. i don’t know if i’ll ever tell her exactly how much she helped me once she’s older but i know i’ll never be able to thank her enough for this.

I clicked on this post because I thought your toddler was helping you heal from your erectile dysfunction...

I just had to tell someone because this is so fucking cute and nobody cares. My brother and I are several years apart. Growing up, we would wake up on Christmas morning before our parents and eagerly lie awake in bed waiting for it to be "okay" for us to come downstairs for presents. So at one point we remedied this by giving each other our presents for one another as soon as we woke up (usually at like 7 AM) so we could enjoy Christmas early. We started doing this at like elementary school age. I am thirty years old and super excited for my Early Christmas with my brother. Last time we did it, my husband stayed in bed while my brother and I exchanged gifts like little kids at 7 AM. I hope that we both live long lives and continue to do this when we're 80. It's so cute and makes me cry just thinking about it because it's so adorable. (also I have my period rn so everything makes me cry)

This is lovely and I am so happy for you and your brother! This is the cutest Christmas tradition I have ever heard - long may it continue.

I love anal. I love how it feels, the taboo feeling of it all. But my gf hates it but tried it once bc she loves me. She then bought a long butt plug, and then told me I’m gonna see what it fucking feels like. I reluctantly agreed thinking it wouldn’t hurt that bad. She lubed it up and shoved it in. That was one of the worst pains of my life. I can’t believe I was sexually into doing that to people.

I tried this with my ex, he said “no it’ll hurt if you shove that thing up my ass. Aren’t girls butts built different for anal??” I was like sir….. no. Our butts are not built different for anal. This man really thought……… The shock on his face let me know he was being serious. I still think about that question from time to time.

I’m from Sudan originally. We have been living in a war for the past year. Our country is at the edge of collapse. People are dying official numbers are 15.500 person to date nearly 9 million people were forcibly displaced, but actual numbers are way worse. Dead bodies are all over the sidewalks even inside my house there were a couple of corpses. War is between 2 sides one of them is pure terrorist the other one have power hungry ideas. And we are stuck in the middle. It’s very normal to come to your house and find a rotten corpse. Or someone’s body that was tortured to death. a guillotine with a severed head in the living room. Or even someone hung to death from your ceiling fan. You could just hide in your house and not leave but you will be bombed by rockets or airplanes or mortars. Genocides were committed based on ethnicity some were forced to dig their graves literally then bury themselves alive. you could just get shot down the road just because you are not black enough. There is no way out all neighboring countries closed their borders or made nearly impossible requirements to get in. We’ve lost everything and the part that hurts the most is no one is talking about this war no one seems to care no one is even trying to help. All we have to do is to wait for death and hope it’s a quick and quiet one. I’m not asking for compassion or help just spread the word we have no one to talk about us. Thanks for your time

I give a shit.. I’m sorry this is not spreading around enough, the world sucks

In 2016 I tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. People were photographing me in their sick, morbid, selfish curiosity as I was preparing to jump. Tears filling my eyes and... it was guttural. When they started to take pictures of me I knew in that moment that nobody gave a shit. No one. But there was one heaven sent angel, if you will, who approached me. I was shocked. He seemed so strangely meant to be there... didn’t seem like someone who would be casually strolling miles of bridge. I don’t know if this makes sense but he seemed like a shaman or oracle or something. He was dark skinned and had long black hair and gold teeth. He came up to me and said, “You really seem like you need a hug. What do you need to talk about? I’m here. Just get off the ledge and talk to me. Please don’t do this.” I tried months after to find this person but I don’t even know how to. But whoever you are, and whatever you are, you saved my life and I love you. I never forgot you and your kindness and humanity will never be forgotten. I try to pay it forward to others thanks to you. You never know what people are going through. You never know if they’re a second away from ending it all. Be kind and love. It will make a world’s difference. ♥️

I love you and that long haired, gold teeth man. Be strong. I'm glad you chose to stay. You made me smile with this post.

3 nights ago a human being changed my world forever. This is a little long but please read it's heartwarming. His name is Shane and I can't believe I found him. We've been dating for about 4 months now and every day seems to be better then the last. From his sense of humor, to his amazing interests to his warm smile he's wonderful and quite sexy IMO lol.But it wasn't until 3 nights ago that I realized how in love with him I am because of a single act of kindness. We were having date night and he's trying to suprise me with a salsa class. He heard me say on our first date I always found dancing amazing and wanted to be a ballet dancer when I was young but I never got the chance. Now at 29 I figure salsa or something would be more fun. So he decided to sign us up and we would begin classes. On our walk we were about to get on the subway until it happened. Now another thing I love is Shane listens so well and really gives a crap and after 4 months most guys would stop fully trying especially after some sexy time but not him. Anyway I was talking and I kept noticing he was looking over at someone not listening. Finally he said I'm sorry babe can u give me a second I need to check something. He walks over to a young girl maybe 19-20 years old who was crying on a bench in the subway. I didn't hear him at first but I could see in his body language he was trying to calm her and help as 100 other people walked by and I would of done the same. As I approached I realized she was homeless for some time and all she had was a single bag. She said to him all I want to do is go home. He asked where she lived and it wasnt even in the city. She'd broken up with her BF who was gone and I am sure she was on drugs at some point but she also looked down on her luck. Either way she was I need and looked scared. So in this moment many would either hand some money over or wish her luck or maybe let her make a call. Shane did much more. He pulls me aside looks me right in the eyes and says "Kelly I can't leave her here like this. I know it's weird but I've been really down before to and sometimes people just need someone to not only help but believe they're telling the truth. He said would u mind if postponed and help her?I said of course n so the journey began. We went to 2 women's shelters with her and to no avail they weren't taking anymore people. It was a bit cold and well we're not the richest people with our student loans so we really couldn't afford to pay for a hotel room in the city. So Shane with his trusting heart of gold says would I mind spending the night at his place and asking her to stay with us. He figured she would feel comfortable with a girl asking her if she'd like to spend the night and we'd figure it out in the morning. I mean here I am with a guy I'm starting to fall for and he's willing to bring a stranger in for the night out of the cold. When I asked her she truly weeped and thanked me a million times but little did she know it wasn't my idea and honestly I'd of never of done this. But he has this gravity about him that just pulls you in. We get to Shane's house and I have some clothes there so I gave her some stuff the would fit and let her get a shower. In the meantime Shane ordered pizza and when she came out he made her feel so cozy like he'd known her for 100 years. We ate pizza, we played a board game, we laughed and then he made her hot tea and we watched his favorite movie The Big Lebowski lol. He made the couch up for her and we went to bed. In the morning he made us all breakfast and then told us he'd be right back. He said he was getting us good coffee lol. He comes back and she was finally able to get a hold of her sister on someone's phone in her home town and she had a place to go. Shane drives her to the bus station and buys her a ticket and hands her an envelope. Here I found out, when asking where it was today, he'd gone down to the pawn shop and pawned his iPad to give her 120 bucks to get home This man gave his home, his time, his care, his money and his food to a complete stranger. He trusted her that she wanted to go home and just needed help. He changed how i view the world and in that moment I fell so deeply in love with him. I don't even know how to show him what this meant to me but I know I will become more like him. I love you Shane with all my heart and one day I am gonna marry you, give you babies and grow old with you. Knights in shining armor still exist and I am lucky enough to get to kiss one whenever I want.

Awwwwwww. Grab him tight and marry him twice, lol!

from my abusive ex-boyfriend. Last night, bf (28M) and I (21F) were arguing while he drove me to go visit my mom (who survived a stroke). During the ride, something that I said set him off and he ended up taking my cell phone away. The phone was bought as a gift from him to me. When we got to my mom’s house, he told me to get out and that I wouldn’t be holding onto the phone. I asked him to please let me write down some contacts so that I can figure things out by myself, but he wouldn’t let me. He kept saying that it was “too bad” and I “shouldn’t have f*cked up”. I decided to stay in the car to try and reason with him, but he told me that if I didn’t leave the car then he would drive back to his house which is 45 minutes away from my mom’s. That’s what he ended up doing. He took me back to his apartment and gave me hell. Every time I tried to call someone, he snatched the phone from my hand and went as far as dragging me across the floor just to grab the phone from me. As expected, I was crying because of the stress and he told me to “be happy or get out”. It was around 1 in the morning and the more I cried, the more he told me to leave because he “doesn’t want anyone crying in his house”. He attempted to drag me out the door and told me to just go, but still wouldn’t let me have the phone for my safety. He tried to forcefully have sex with me while I was emotional, but I didn’t let him. I decided to calm down and make him think that I would be spending the night with him, but when he went to sleep, I got myself ready. I put on my warm clothes and jackets and kept my purse nearby. The doors in his apartment are old and rusted which means that they can make a loud sound while opening. I opened the back door lightly and kept it that way for about 15 minutes and then called myself a Lyft. I turned a movie on in the living room to drown out some noise. When my Lyft was approaching, I made a run for it and sprinted down two flights of stairs that were covered in snow. I hid behind a garbage can until my ride was in front of me and eventually made it to my mom’s house at 3-4AM. I didn’t feel safe there and he didn’t feel like my boyfriend anymore, therefore I had to put my mental health and safety first. He called me a couple times and sent a few harassing texts but I haven’t responded. I’m truly ready to start my own life because I didn’t have one anymore while with him. I cooked and cleaned for him and catered to his every need. Now, I’m done. I want my own things, my own car, my own luxuries and my own identity. Wish me luck because it starts now.

So happy for you! Please make sure to take necessary precautions though. Inform your mom about what happened and if he makes any threats document them and report them to the relevant authorities

My husband has full custody of Amy, and her mum hasn’t been in her life since 2018. We have a good relationship and are close, but she’s always called me by my name. Well, today I accidentally walked in on her having a Zoom call with some of her classmates, and she introduced me to them as her mum. Honestly, I feel like I’ve made it. I didn’t even know how happy this would make me feel! I haven’t stopped smiling since then, and she’s continued to call me mum even after leaving the Zoom call. Even though it’s just a name, it really means a lot to me. I never really wanted kids, but I love Amy with all of my heart, and now to hear that she considers me her mother just makes it feel so much sweeter. UPDATE: I told her how I feel and she was really happy! We went out for ice-cream and then played Borderlands 2 together, and I’m honestly so proud to be called mum. Thank you all for the lovely comments and rewards :) I’ll try to respond to them all

This made my whole day!! So happy for you OP, sounds like you're doing great as a mom!! ❤❤

Title pretty much sums up my feelings.

I understand your point. On the other hand, if you put a pic on your Instagram of you donating blood, that might motivate others to do the same. Just an example.

Those were Christmas gifts for my family. I hope you get some use out of them at least. Asshole.

This is truly so so so shitty. I’m sorry that happened to you, what an awful feeling. I don’t know who you ordered from, from try contacting the seller and let them know it got stolen. People typically have insurance through mail providers and are able to replace it. I had a package get lost in the mail and I contacted the seller and received a new one within a week! I would imagine they would be able to do the same if it was stolen. Best of luck in a shitty situation!

My (now) ex husband and I were high school sweethearts. We married straight out of college and thought we would last forever. His mother never liked me and wanted him to settle down and marry a “nice Italian girl. Like their neighbor” (They’re Italian-American), but because he instead married me, (a black very not Italian woman) she despised me. Despite that, I was always extremely cordial and polite to her, I learned family recipes and embraced Italian culture as much as she let me. I thought our relationship was improving before she died, she still didn’t approve of me but at least she didn’t openly scowl whenever she saw me. Fast forward to three years later, she had a heart attack and died. It was rough on my ex husband and I was there for him every step of the way. When we were cleaning out her old house he found some leftovers and took them home. He froze it and saved eating it for when he was finally ready to “let go.” But despite my best efforts, my ex husband became vicious towards me. Constantly picking fights, calling me demeaning names, telling me I need to lose weight (despite knowing I have body dysmorphia) it was rough for me but I have him pass after pass due to losing his mother. That was until about 18 months later when I had a miscarriage, I called and texted him, telling him I had a miscarriage and he completely ignored me. I was in the hospital alone and sobbing without my husband’s support. When I got home and he finally heard the news he said, “oh” and went to take a shower. That broke me. After my miscarriage I was a mess and my husband was no where to be found. He was always out “working late” specifically on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. I suspected infidelity but figured it was my overactive imagination. That was until my best friend texted me and told me she saw my husband with another woman at a restaurant she worked at. I couldn’t believe it and needed to see it for myself, so the next time a Tuesday rolled around I staked out the restaurant, and low and behold there he was, with another woman. I got out of the car and started screaming at both of them (not my finest moment I know) and as I got closer I realized it was the woman who my former mother in law always wanted my husband to marry. Something inside me snapped, I went home and threw the pasta onto the driveway. He came inside screaming at me demanding to know what was wrong with me, I simply responded, “I want a divorce.” And we never spoke again. I know objectively what I did was wrong, but I’m not sorry. I would do things differently but I can’t feel any remorse for what I did. I can’t help but get some sick satisfaction from what I did to him. Hopefully I hurt him as much as he hurt me. I’ve been in therapy and decided to finally put my story out into the public. Even if no one knows who I am, it’ll finally be there for anyone to read. EDIT: I haven’t been able to respond to the comments because I’ve been so overwhelmed with everyone’s kindness I wasn’t sure where to start. Thank you so much to everyone for your sympathy, I didn’t expect this to blow up like it did. I’m doing better now. I’m in a relationship with a woman who loves me very much (and who I love) and whose family accepts and loves me. I hope to marry her one day. I never thought I’d find love again, but I did and I’ve never been happier. Thank you so much for listening :).

When my great-grandma died her kids divided up the lasagnes in her freezer like it was treasure. But no one was a cheating abusive POS so we just ate the lasagne later.

That's it.

Just found out this morning that my dad abandoned my little brother (10) on the doorstep of my uncles house. I'm just glad he's safe now.

I was listening to NPR yesterday and they had these Trump voters on who were discussing whether or not they were going to vote for him again. One of them said he was voting Biden, the other two Trump. One of them cited how he was impressed that Trump was able to govern at all while under relentless assault from the media. I seriously wonder if the day will ever come when morons like this "patriot" will realize how stupid they are. Or, in the least, be able to acknowledge what utter scum they parked in the White House. The reason the media is on Trump's case all the time, is because pretty much everything he's done from DAY ONE has been wrong and fucking evil. None of what he does is or should be normal. 99.9 percent of everything he's done throughout his presidency has been self-serving and to the detriment of the country. And no, asshole, you don't like him because you're "a Marine" and just "don't care about hurting people's feelings." You like him because he gives you permission to be the racist, misogynist, close-minded narcissist you've always wanted to be. And oh, to the lady who told the host she was asking "loaded questions?" "Are you doing better now than you were in 2016?" isn't a loaded fucking question. It's a basic question you can't answer with a straight face because you backed a turd and you're too stupid or stubborn to stop following its swirl down the toilet bowl. People like you are the worst part of America. I hope someday that you'll develop the ability to feel shame for everything you've done to our country.

Ironically enough it feels like Trump gets off easy compared to other presidents. I mean...he acts so unprofessional, insults people publicly and online, has said blatant sexist and racist things, has a history of adultery, and has literally disrespected veterans in many ways (and that's just scratching the surface). If past presidents acted and did things the way he does they'd have even more vitriol thrown their way and probably wouldn't even be in office. I just don't understand how America has a president as uncouth as this man.

I (26f) met my husband (25m) 3 years ago and got married 1year after being together. When we met I could tell he was quite quirky. He is very friendly and is always eager to help anyone, he actively keeps supplies in his truck in case he comes across anyone who needs help. Sadly because of this he got used a lot and barely recognized it. He got bullied a lot growing up but didn't seem to see it as bullying until he grew up. People made fun of his appearance and how desperate he was to have friends. When we got together I constantly had people asking me what I saw in him. Some of his family members tried flirting with me as well. I hate how unkind they are to him. He comes home every evening and cuddles up to me while telling me long stories about work, which I look forward to. He's helped me heal from a very painful past and has loved me like I've never been loved. He makes me feel so incredibly safe. He's the coolest guy I know and I'm so proud of myself for scoring such an amazing husband. We'll be having our first child soon and I am so happy that my child will have him as their father. I am so incredibly lucky. EDIT !! I didn't expect this post to get as much attention as it did. Thank you for all the positive comments I appreciate it so much. I have also received some negative comments and dm's saying I settled for a loser. It's sad because I know it's just hurt people attempting to hurt others. Some of you have expressed a distaste for the title and I didn't realize it could come off negatively, I apologize for that. I chose that title as a way to acknowledge and accurately portray what my husband has had to go through. It was a hard isolating situation and nobody sided with him. The title was just a reference to how he was so often cast out. It's not that way anymore because he will never be lonely again and he will always be wanted by me. There was also someone who mentioned that he might be neurodivergent. He actually is, it went undiagnosed until a year into our relationship when I encouraged him to look into it. Learning more about being neurodivergent has really helped him appreciate and understand himself better. Thank you all, your kind comments have me in tears. I hope everyone finds happiness and fulfillment in their lives.

I honestly hope you have the best marriage ever and it stays like that.

They’ll wear their outside shoes over carpet, on the couch, in their bedrooms, on the bed, in the kitchens, all over their house. It absolutely makes no sense. You’re tracking all the outside dirt and filth into where you sleep/eat. I know this isn’t all states but it seems like it’s most of them and it makes no sense. Why America.

I take mine off once I walk though the door. I go to other peoples houses and I constantly see them laying on couches or in bed with shoes on as if it isn't uncomfortable and dirty.

Throughout my life I have been made aware that people consider me ugly. My brother was lavished with attention in our childhood and my sister was told she was pretty. I learned quickly that if people thought you were pretty, they would tell you. If I had just met a pretty person and was discussing said person with someone else, one of the first topics of conversation was always, “OMG she is so pretty right??” Throughout my life I have been told directly that I was ugly, made fun of for my skin problems (I started getting acne at 10 years old), and been called fat numerous times. I have been ashamed of my weight since I was in single digits. This is despite the fact that I have never been overweight. Nobody ever complimented my appearance except for my parents, and even that was seldom. As I got older I became more ashamed. As a teenager, I made the mistake of asking a friend what she thought of my appearance and watched her squirm in response. A few years ago, I was in a car with my friends and they started discussing their appearance and their attractiveness. I remained quiet. One friend commented that she always considered me to be pretty. The other one, though, said something like, “but your hair is really pretty.” My hair is the only thing that people have complimented me on, and this felt like a slap in the face. I heard what she didn’t say out loud. “You’re ugly, but...” Here’s another ‘but’ for you. But despite all of this, guess what? I don’t hate my appearance. I have beautiful eyes. My beauty marks are beautiful. I have a nice, strong body. So you can stop telling me I’m ugly, implicitly or explicitly. You are not going to change my mind. Edit: I am very grateful for this wonderful, supportive, and powerful response. Thank you so much. I love reading your stories and comments. I wish you all the best on your journey towards embracing yourself and your identity. I know you can do it. Much love 💕.

YES. We need more of this.

I (M24) arrived from my work 3 days ago to find my girlfriend laying in bed with another guy, my initial response was to freak out and ask what was going on. When I asked what my girlfriend was doing in bed with another guy, the guy flared up in disbelief, shaking and looking at me frantically before yelling out “HES YOUR BOYFRIEND?” My girlfriend turns around to say she planned to tell him, I could only help but feel bad for him, he had no idea and she was the only one at fault here. Under rage and complete disappointment I had the urge to kick them both out, but I ended up only kicking out my now ex-girlfriend, I told the guy to calm down and told him to stick around, I assured him i wouldn’t hurt him and to prove that I offered him a beverage which he accepted. We ended up talking and it turns out she had mentioned she was single and had no plans for a commitment, at this point he was still panicking. I’m obviously still furious, deep down even though I know he’s not guilty I still couldn’t look him in the eyes, yet I felt some sort of pity, I couldn’t just kick him out in his super awkward and uncomfortable moment, I managed to be nice by putting myself in his shoes. He ended up leaving more relaxed and relieved I didn’t intend on hurting him, it’s safe to say I’ll never see him again but I think I atleast made the right choice despite having my world upside down.

You certainly responded better than most would (man or woman).

My dad has never done a drug in his life. In fact, we grew up in a pretty religious household. No drinking, no drugs. Ever. A few months ago I watched ‘Fantastic Fungi’ on Netflix. It’s really good. Pretty amazing little organisms and as my dad is a scholar, I suggested he watch it. Afterwards, my dad said that he would really like to try them. His birthday is tomorrow so my husband and I planned for my hubs to take my mom out for a date day (she would worry too much). In fact, my siblings are also pretty strict so wouldn’t understand and we couldn’t bring them in on it. I can’t tell anyone for obvious reasons (although we do live in a marijuana friendly state - getting there!). My dad is currently downstairs, curled up in blankets in his favourite recliner, candle burning, listening to his second hour of Enya. He has the dog in his lap, an eye mask on and the biggest grin I’ve EVER seen. I’m checking in on him constantly. Happy birthday dad! UPDATE So many responses and one one negative. That surprises me more than anything. Are we on the verge of acceptance and understanding? As for my dads trip: he loved it. He thinks everyone should try it once in their lives. He went through so many phases (as expected) from yawning to giggling, to seeing and hallucinating, to crying, to feeling and understanding experiences (his own and others). His biggest take away was the warmth and understanding. As many have said, you don’t know until you’ve been there. He feels as though he understood what God really was and was amazed as the entire experience. He doesn’t regret any part of it and is happy it happened now. He’s at a time of his life of reflection and is open to understanding. My mother on the other hand…she was brought back about 5.5hrs after my dad started his journey. I told her right away as my dad was relaxing as he came out of it all. She was not happy. Too uptight and would never be a candidate for such an experience. She’s been checking in him every 10mins or so and wouldn’t have been a calming influence to have around. He’s totally fine now though of course. My name is mud for a bit. 10/10 would do again for him.

The image of your dad on his second hour of Enya... LMAO. This is a sweet gift. Sounds like he's having a great time.

I’m just saying.

I needed to read this. My partner recently cheated on me and I thought maybe it was my fault, I pushed him away emotionally and gave him space because he was hurt. He ended up cheating on me and I forgave him because I thought maybe I deserved it for hurting him in the beginning of our relationship. I’m so naive

I didnt ask her about her exes for a reason but she brought up her "mindblowing" sex with him anyways. When I told her I loved her so much and what she said hurt my feelings she laughed. In. My. Face. And told me in the most sarcastic way possible that she was "still learning how to not hurt my precious feelings" Then she said "I'm not with you for the sex" Then she said I shouldn't compare myself to him because it would like be comparing a Michelin starred chef to a really good taco truck. Gets the job done but it will never come close. Then she told me that she's not over him after not being with him for 6 YEARS. And now I'm hurt deeply and my girlfriend is telling me I'm the insecure one and that I "shouldn't care". Fuck her. Edit; I broke up with her and told her we can talk again when she - gets a job - gets over her ex So we'll probably never talk again. Blocked her on all fronts too. Edit 2; like the comments have pointed out, the only insecurity I need to work on is the fact that I put up with a parasite for as long as I did. The fact that I stayed with her as long as I did says more about my insecurities than her comments making me feel bad. I can do better. Easy. Edit 3; She literally said my expectations of her getting over her ex and getting a job are "unreasonable". Lmao actual trash. Edit 4; As some of you are using this as a reminder that some guy with a bigger dick will always outclass you and feeling bad about your size. My dick is 8x6 and the guy she misses the sex with had a way smaller dick. He hit her g spot instantly every time (and that's her preferred orgasm), had stamina to fuck all night, and was "extremely sexy". Don't use this as some fetish/humiliation/small dick hate thing, She got owned by a guy with a way smaller dick that she thought was way sexier than I am. IDK why she thought telling me that would help but yeah that's verbatim what she told me. This post isn't meant to be about dick humiliation, it's about respecting your partner. I don't care that I wasn't the best sex in her life but her tactless, immature, and humiliating way of addressing it was the problem. Not to mention she's not over some guy that doesn't even want to fuck her after they broke up 6 years ago, the "relationship" was also a lie because she posted about their time together and they weren't actually together like that. She got used, fell in love with the "perfect" guy for her, got left in the dust, and never got over it...even though it was like...two weeks. We all have heartbreak, and missed chances...but if you're not over your "one that got away" even though you were together for two weeks...than you're just a piece of shit and should never tell anyone you love them when you got that in the back of your mind. If your partner loves the sex with you believe them, if they respect you enough to not throw their fucking ex's in your face just appreciate that. Relationships aren't only about sex, but they are about trust and communication. Which is exactly what she failed at so fucking miserably here. This was a layup for her, she could have just apologized but instead brought it to the 9th level of hell. Everything I posted after the 2nd line break was her trying to "fix" the relationship. She's a self centered idiot, and I still don't understand what she got out of addressing it this way except losing someone who genuinely cared about her and loved her for who she is. Or...who I thought she was. Again, her not being over some guy from 6 years ago is the issue here, the "best sex ever thing" was just a conduit to finding out how she really felt about our relationship and me. Don't ever be a placeholder for someone else till their "one that got away" comes back. If you feel like you're being used, then you probably are. *Ninja edit: she also cheated on her last boyfriend the same year we met. There are so many red flags coming out in such a short period of time I thought I was at a Turkish National Pride Parade*

That edit made me really happy! Good on you for getting toxic shit out of your life. No one deserves someone like that around them.

I really don't know how to phrase this, English isn't my first language. But I rather share my story than have it die with me. I've been suffering from a very severe mood disorder, with a long and menacing name : treatment-resistant, Clozapine-resistant schizoaffective disorder. I tried everything, from ECT to all types of medication, all of this in the span of 6 long years. Yet, last year, I decided I had enough of this torture and booked a flight to Belgium, with the intention to be granted assisted suicide. I'm an EU citizen so I'm entitled to the same rights as Belgium' citizens, and so I did go through the long arduous process and received a positive answer a month ago. I'm 24 years old, and I'm going to die in three weeks, and put a long-awaited end to this misery. Though I have to admit that I didn't tell anyone about it, neither my family nor my friends, I've been a burden for far too long and just want out. So I'd rather disappear and not make a fuss about it. It's been a long and painful ride, I'm tired. Thanks for reading <3 Edit n°1 : Hey, I'm so sorry I couldn't respond to anyone yesterday but it was late and I fell asleep. I thank you all so very much for your support and kind words. At this exact moment, I know at least a 100 thousand people have read my story and that my memory won't go completely extinct when the day comes. I know it's a hard reality to come to terms with, but my case is medically "terminal", I have tried 17 different drugs, numerous rounds of ECT and ketamine treatment, as well as other religious treatment such as Islamic Roqya and alternative ones such as psilocybin (shrooms). All of them failed to treat my symptoms. Thanks again so very much <3 Edit n°2 : Many of you have asked me about my name, it is Kalthoum (or Melissa if you prefer my Western name), the set date, it is the 5th of May 2023, and many of you also asked if I felt afraid, I don't. I have never lost my faith in God and I believe he will help me put an end to my suffering, I'm content with what I have done in this short life-time, and ready to face my Creator. By the way, I have, for those who've asked, tried shrooms, keto-diet, MDMDA, and a couple of other illegal substances (of which I do not promote the recreational use). Thank you again for your very kind words and prayers <3 (I will post an update a couple of days before the procedure and give you the whole story in detail, it will serve as some kind of improvised memorial for my mother). PS : You people changed my mind, I'll definitely tell my mother about it at least a couple of days before the set date. Thanks again, I rather not have her blame herself for it.

If it’s 3 weeks from the day, I made a note on my phone. I will think of you all day & hope you will finally feel peace. I don’t know what your relationship is like with your family, but I think you should explain your decision. I hope these last three weeks are easy for you & your soul finds rest. 💜

Terrorists are fucking storming our Capitol because the legal election system we have in place didn't go their way and they aren't in the wrong, yet African Americans are being gunned down by cops and people take this as normality. Racism is normal here. We're fighting a "war" in a country across the world where we have absolutely zero reasons to be there. Our leader has fucked up our entire livelihood with his lies and childish acts. We're in the middle of a pandemic but people want to go to restaurants and movie theaters and refuse to wear masks because it's their right. I hate it here, I'm unsafe here, and mentally I can't take it. Destroy my useless karma, I don't care. Edit: We are not the greatest country in the world. FINAL EDIT: So this took off after I went to bed. My post got locked so I can't reply to individual comments anymore, sorry everyone. I'd like to address the top most frequent comments though. First, everyone from a different place in the world telling me to move to their country, I'm grateful. Thank you for the kind words. Maybe a few years from now I'll reach out for some info. Second, everyone saying I should stay and fight or stay because my country needs me, no. This country doesn't need me and I don't need it. I won't put myself in the fight either, that's just ridiculous. Third, to the people telling me to move to a far worse place (Venezuela seems to be the top pick) I get it. There are far worse places. My point here is every American still swears by the idea that America is still the greatest country when clearly we too are in shambles. Finally, to everyone telling me they're in the same boat and they feel the same way, you're more than not alone. Be kind to people, look after your own, and take care of your mental health first and foremost.

Man, hold on. We, the rest of the world, are watching, not with laugh but really worried. I truly really want your country to get up on its feet and unite.

Throwaway account I just need to tell someone this because it’s been eating me up inside. Sorry for bad punctuation I was 18 at the time and he was 19 both of us are male. I’ve known him since I was 8 and he was like my brother. We decided to throw a house party with around 20 other teenagers around our age. We had alcohol and weed just normal party substances. I didn’t drink any or smoke any of the weed because I was the designated driver for a few people. Around 11pm he came up to me and told me he was going to get lucky tonight. I didn’t think much of it because he was pretty decent at picking up girls. I said my goodbyes to everyone around midnight and gathered the group of people I needed to take home and piled them up into my truck. After I got done dropping people off it was around 2am. I went home and went to sleep. The next day my phone was blowing up and people were texting me that my friend had raped a girl and everyone at the party had to write police statements. My friend got arrested but got released on bail after a few weeks. I went over to his house to see what had happened because everyone else couldn’t give me an answer. He pulled out his phone and showed me a video of him doing it. He kept saying that she was lying and that she had asked for him to do it. I watched him rape this poor girl who was underage. I played along but inside I felt so sick. I stayed the night at his house that night and while he was asleep I sent the video of him doing that to my phone and then I deleted the message so he wouldn’t know. When I got home that next day I sent the video to a old phone that I had and I turned it into the police station. I told them everything I knew and I told them that there was more evidence on his phone. He got sentenced a few months later to almost 20 years for statutory rape. I don’t know if what I did made any difference. I wouldn’t have left that party if I knew that underage girl was there. I should’ve checked peoples age but I didn’t. I should’ve offered everyone there a ride because maybe then she wouldn’t have been there that night. There’s so many things I could’ve done but I didn’t do and it hurts me because something horrible happened to that girl.

You did good. And the evidence you provided surely helped. Think of all the women, potential victims, you may have saved. As a rape victim myself (I got no justice), I thank you. Please don’t feel guilty.

I like my little life. I like going for runs and working out at home. I like not commuting into work. I like having only my husband as my coworker. I like no meetings, no conferences, only phone calls. I like eating lunch at home. I like spending time in my immediate neighborhood. I like all the free time I have to do chores and practice piano. I like having weekends free to do all of that, plus read the newspaper. I like seeing friends outside in small groups occasionally. I miss travel but I don’t want to go back to how things were, even though I barely see another soul anymore. Maybe something is wrong with me.

I feel similarly - I have no interest in leaving my house an hour early to take a train to another city to work in an office for 8 hours and then get home well after dark. I could stand a little more human interaction and would love to be able to go to a bar or restaurant and travel of course, but F work “normalizing.”

I wanna preface this by saying I am not discrediting anyone who is sick or at risk, or in a rough place right now. I'm not saying that at all. What I AM saying is this; When people confide in you and tell you they're lonely, scared, bored, stressed, depressed, anxious, restless, or losing their minds right now, do NOT respond by saying "lot's of people have it worse". That's not comforting at all. That person came to you for reassurance, they didn't come to you to hear THAT. Everyone knows that some have it worse. Don't say that. All that does is make that person feel bad for feeling a certain way. Yes, people are dying, or starving, but loneliness is awful. Show some support, and don't invalidate other peoples feelings because "it could be worse". I'm not just venting about this because it happened to me. I see it everywhere. Please show kindness, especially right now. I'm not trying to be bossy or tell anyone what to do I'm just making a point lol. YOUR. FEELINGS. ARE. VALID. Everyone's feelings count. Thanks. edit: woah this blew up and its my first post on this sub. I wanna clarify I'm not trying to be aggressive with this. I understand that sometimes people dont know how to respond to you telling them personal things, and sometimes they are actually trying to help. I just see so much fear rn and I wanted to put it out there that its ok to feel feelings. Thanks for all the awesome comments!

My girlfriend thinks that way...and I've never even said anything to her to inflict that mindset. She just automatically assumes her problems are "stupid" because I've been through a lot worse...I really wish she would realize her problems are valid no matter what they are...

(TW) &#x200B; By the age of 4, something was taken from me by force. I didn’t know what it was. They called it virginity. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 6, I lost most of my teeth in an accident. I thought they would grow back. They didn’t. They were already my permanents. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 8, the abuse escalated to a point bones were broken. Basic care was often refused, and injuries hidden. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 9, I knew all the tell-tale signs of drug users. My sense of normalcy became skewed. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 10 I stopped singing, I left the church choir after I wasn’t allowed to receive the sacrament of confirmation, because we were too poor to afford it. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 11 I lost my faith. My priest told me I had seduced evil, and had deserved what I received. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 12 I knew how to care for my much younger sibling, as we often found ourselves alone at home. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 13 I would start fainting. Medical care was a luxury, I mustn’t forget that. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 14 my abuser died. Horrifically. I celebrated his death, felt elated. Felt like a monster because I did… It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 15 we were officially homeless. Dependant on the aid of the government and family, only to find both severely lacking. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 16 I fell in love, but I never learned how to talk. Never learned how to say ´´I love you´´. As such many things would remain unspoken. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 17 someone fell in love with me, but I couldn’t believe it when he told me he did. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 18 I would know the sting of betrayal, in part because I was incapable of warmth or intimacy. On the surface I looked indifferent, strong perhaps. On the inside I crumbled. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the time I was of legal age, I felt exhausted… By the age of 19 I moved cities. To put more distance between me and my past. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 21 I picked up life. I was close to my first graduation. My professor committed fraud out of jealousy, and altered my final score. It was uncovered too late. I lost a prestigious job offer because of it. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 22 I would be sick daily. Fainting often. I would be diagnosed wrongly. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 23 my first big project as a children’s book illustrator remained unpaid. I lost financial stability. I was forced to switch jobs. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 24 me and the life I carried within would be in danger during labor. Scar tissue prohibited a safe birth. I suffered severe physical trauma. The mental aspect once more, was left unspoken. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 25 I felt sick once more. The wrongly diagnosed illness had rendered my birth control useless. I was expecting twins. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 26 I would be bed-bound within the borders of the MIC (maternal intensive care unit) due to early labor. They came early. Critical condition. Months of NICU, surgeries. Followed by years of intensive therapy. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 27 they told me my children would be disabled for life. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 28 I would start slurring words. Spots on my brain, minor neurological damage. Cause possibly linked to trauma in early life. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 29 I would lose all my friends, and the only figure of stability during my childhood. It hurt, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; Only by the age of 30 was I diagnosed with C-PTSD. I started a therapy course. I felt ashamed, but I stayed strong. &#x200B; By the age of 31 I celebrated the holidays in a psychiatric hold. My kids thought mommy was on vacation without them. I was ashamed. I was hurt. BUT I STAYED STRONG. &#x200B; I came home after a few days. And I rebuilt myself. As I did, time and time again. I NEVER GAVE UP. &#x200B; Today, I am 32. Today, I felt stronger than ever. &#x200B; But then today, a doctor told me I would need a succession of life-altering surgeries soon, for yet another diagnosis… &#x200B; I broke once I entered the safety of my car. I cried once my sunglasses could hide my tears. I drove, even though it sometimes feels like I’m going nowhere. &#x200B; And then… &#x200B; Then I started singing. Because I remembered that I used to love it. And I cried. Because I don’t want to be strong today. &#x200B; &#x200B; **Edit:** I would like to thank each and every one of you for the kind words and encouragement. I'm moved by the outpoor of love. I had no expectations when I posted this. I've been a lurker for years, or chickened out on so many writings. I've only pressed sent once before. Some people might not understand, but it takes courage actually going through with a post. I hadn't expected anyone to stop and read my lengthy outpoor. I wrote it because I needed to stay focused when my mind went astray. It kept me anchored. So I'm happy to receive so much positive feedback. I'm enjoying the evening with my children. I will get back to you later. Thank you for the awards and support! &#x200B; **Edit 2:** For those who have been trapped and grew up with abuse and chronic trauma: Don't give up. Healing isn't linear. There are no mythical cures. But there is help, and your starting point will be when you feel ready to discover the best version of yourself. And then keep working towards being exactly that, and be proud of your progress. &#x200B; **Some resources:** “The Body Keeps the Score” is the best book on trauma and cPTSD (complex PTSD - a variant due to developmental trauma) along with “The drama of the Gifted Child”. If you read nothing else, these too should give you all you need. In modalities, a trauma-informed therapist, EMDR ([r/EMDR](https://www.reddit.com/r/EMDR)) and Neurofeedback ([r/Neurofeedback](https://www.reddit.com/r/Neurofeedback)) are precious life-changing tools. &#x200B; "I Can't Get Over It" a "trauma survivor's guidebook" &#x200B; Kurzgesagt on youtube, the video loneliness - [https://youtu.be/n3Xv\_g3g-mA](https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA) &#x200B; ´´Judith herman´´ - Trauma and recovery (book) &#x200B; Lecture by Diane Langeberg on C-PTSD: [https://youtu.be/otxAuHG9hKo](https://youtu.be/otxAuHG9hKo) &#x200B; For those who called me an attention seeker: Stop invalidating people in need. I'm at a point in my life where I'm strong enough that such remarks have zero effect on me. But others who are still battling to find courage to reach out might read this post. They might be in a crucial and vulnerable turning point in their lives. They might find courage to seek help, right up to a point where someone just has to invalidate them as such. Those comments make them AFRAID to be invalidated again, to be called a liar again. They are afraid to be told to suck it up again. It silences victims seeking help because they fear to be just that: attention seekers, not people in real need. But they are people in need. People who suffered chronic trauma NEED HELP, compassion, empathy, acceptance. Not ridicule, further invalidation or judgement. &#x200B; We've been denied help during crucial moments in the development of our lives. As CHILDREN. It has severe and long lasting consequences, well into adulthood, both physical and mental. Seeking out help now is a sign of healing and courage. But kicking people when they are down in a sign of weakness.

i love you. honestly. I know that those three words may just seem like pixels on a screen but If it came down. Id go through everything you went through if it meant that you could enjoy at least one year of your life without any problems or complications. Im a stranger to you and your a stranger to me but love has no boundaries and I only wish you the best and hope you get through this.

3 months ago I was laying in the bed that was once mine at my parents house when my brother barges in, sits down at the foot of my bed. I dont spend much time around my parents house, nor do I see him very often. But as soon as he walked in I was able to tell by the glow in his confidence and the smile on his face that he was extremely happy. My brother is a handsome boi, he has a good social life and has girlfriends in the past. So, naturally I asked him what was up, asked what he wanted? He smiled, and asked, “What do you think about my smile?” I shrugged and told him that I thought it was fine. “Well” he said, with a smirk, “This cute girl in my class told me that she thought I had a very attractive smile!” I didn’t really understand why he was so excited..... (really I’m not trying to brag in this next sentence) I thought to myself “big whoop, I get complimented fairly regularly.” That got me thinking a little bit. Later that night I knocked on his bedroom door. “Charlie?” I asked “when was the last time you were complimented besides today and from a family member?” There was a little bit of a hesitant pause, but then he admitted that he couldn’t even remember the last time he was complimented by someone other than our mother or aunt! This got me thinking a little bit more, so I asked my male cousins, my male friends etc etc the same question. Most of the responses I got were the same, “I dont know” or “ I cant remember”. Still today, every now and then, he talks about how that girl in his one of his classes complimented him on his smile, and it melts my heart how happy that has made him and how much it boosted his confidence. Since then, and after seeing how happy it has made my little brother, I’ve made it my mission to compliment at least 4 guys a day. Whether its on their shoes, their smile, their shirt, their haircut or eyes. Yes, this has gotten me in some awkward situations where they think I’m hitting on them, but most of the time I see them taken back a little with a smile on their face. I think we, as women, take compliments for granted, as it happens to us on a daily basis!! The message I want to send to people in this post is to just throw a compliment out there from time to time to a guy! It absolutely takes next to zero effort for you, but it may make a HUGE impact on their day, their week, or month! Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

That’s pretty awesome and your brother sounds like the sweetest guy ever

My alarm went off at 5:15 this morning, like it does every weekday. Sleepily, I reached over to hit the snooze button, then expected to feel my wife snuggle up behind me. Then I remembered that I was in bed alone. I got up, turned on the lights, and made the bed. I never do that because, usually, she's still sleeping. Usually, she's the one to make the bed. Not today. Now I need to help our four kids get ready for school and out the door. That's not uncommon, I've always helped with the kids and things around the house. What is uncommon is that I'll be the one to drive the youngest to preschool. We got married over 15 years ago. Each year has been better than the last. We've disagreed frequently, we've often become frustrated with each other, but our last big "fight" was over 10 years ago. We learned how to work through disagreements with mutual love and respect. She's my world. She's my other half. She's my [insert corny metaphor here] - except it doesn't feel corny for us because it's true. When we started dating, she told me her health was bad. I didn't understand how serious she was until I drove her to the hospital one week after our wedding. Seven years ago was the first time in our marriage that she truly came close to dying. Three years ago, she almost bled-out after a routine procedure. I spent several hours in the waiting room, desperate for news from the doctor, terrified that I'd lost her. Two years ago, COVID hit and, until she got the vaccine, I spent every single day worried about the possibility of her dying if she caught it. Thankfully, she's safe and healthy. She's out of town, visiting family for a few days. A much needed break and I'm glad she was able to go. But I miss her like crazy and every little thing that reminds me she's gone reminds me that, most likely, one day she will be gone for good. The odds of me dying first are vanishing small. I wouldn't want that anyway - I know how much she would hurt and I'd do almost anything to prevent that. We don't have movie-worthy lives - in reality, our day to day is pretty mundane. But I feel like we do have that "unrealistic" movie-worthy love. I love cuddling up with her each night. No matter how stressful or exhausting the day was, she's there to bring me peace and comfort. I love her kisses and her hugs. I love her laugh. Admittedly, I have mixed feelings about her tears but only because I never want her to hurt. I love our intimacy - both physical and emotional. 16 years together and I still love her so much that sometimes it hurts. Really, I'm glad she's having fun on her trip. Truly, I'm glad she went. But I can't wait for her to get back. I miss her.

Oh thank god, you had me in that first half I thought I was going to end up crying. Sounds like you have a very loving and respectful relationship

If you don’t already know, sites like omegle have pedos all over. I have been running an omegle bot service on fiverr, mainly for horny guys who want a chance at getting a girls Snapchat for trading nudes or whatever. At some point last week I got somone who wanted me to advertise... yep, you guessed it, them wanting the Snapchat’s of girls 10-14. That shit is just vile, so instead of giving them a python bot, I just gave them a remote backdoor into their computer. I was able to find a bunch of child porn, which I was able to use to chive to the police, along with their ip and payment info. Just wasn’t sure where else to put this story lol, can’t tell people irl because a remote back door is illegal. TLDR: hacked a pedo and (hopefully) sent them to jail. Edit: rip my inbox lmao. Thanks to everyone for all of the kind words and support.

you’re doing the work of ANGELS my dear sir

The wife ended up babysitting her friend's annoying fucking kids. As they were leaving and without missing a beat my 3yro girl goes BYE MOTHERFUCKERS! Flawless execution and timing. Proudest dad moment.

Awe, they grow up so fast! Hope you high fived her! ;-)

For those of you who don’t know, Time Magazine named Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as the Person (or people) of the year. I honestly haven’t seen a whole lot of outrage over this (maybe I missed it), and it boggles my mind. I don’t take issue with this politically. I know some people might take issue with it because it shows a bias or whatever to a certain candidate, but that’s not my issue with it. All that they did was win an election. Yeah, that’s a lot, but in 2020 I do not believe they did anything extraordinary. Winning the presidential election is a big deal, yes. So congrats Biden and Harris, but their work is just beginning. They did nothing for the American people directly. Now, if they do great work in 2021 or 2022, then they should be named person of the year then. 2020 was not their shining achievement. On the other hand, a lot of people stepped up during the pandemic. Essential workers: nurses, doctors, package drivers, garbage men, grocery store workers, gas station workers, etc. I’m sure i am forgetting many essential workers. Those people stepped up and put themselves in harms way from a virus we didn’t understand very well. Essential workers died doing their job. Just look up the gut wrenching stories about health care workers who died due to their extreme exposure to Covid. Without our essential workers, we would have been absolutely screwed for 2020. They worked extra shifts and were exposed more easily to Covid while the rest of us sat at home in quarantine. Time magazine should have named them person (people) of the year. They’ve done groups of people before, and this year was a unique one. Not to mention, 2020 was a year of division. Instead of giving the honor to a political candidate who a decent proportion of the country disagrees with, give it to those who served the American people. Our essential workers deserved this honor. I don’t really have strong political views, so I’d be singing the same song if it was any political candidate or president elect who won this. Any ways, thanks for reading my small rant, have a great day!

being named “person of the year “ or being called “ heroes “ won’t improve the lives of essential workers . You know what would , paying essential workers an essential wage

*Edit* My aggressive cancer is bringing a much swifter end to my life that I was expecting. Last week I had 12 months, maybe more, this week I have 1 month, maybe two. There is much to cram in, but there is also much to reflect on. Following is my approach to life, my life, a person who has always been positive and seeing the glass half full. &#x200B; Put down your phone and have a real conversation Look a friend in the eye and ask them how they *really* are Listen to the wind blowing through the trees above And marvel at the beauty of a vibrant sunrise Do something that takes you outside of your comfort zone To prove to you are better than you thought Celebrate your successes, no matter how big or how small And carve your own path to define who you are Be spontaneous, be unpredictable and importantly, immature Don’t be led by narcissist fools that feed on your soul Don’t be a slave to their conforming expectations Don’t overshare and become fixated with likes and follows It’s false adulation that erodes your own self worth Don’t buy things just to impress others, they don’t really care Reduce, reuse and repair when you can Be yourself and be proud of it no matter of your orientation Because you being you is the best that you can be Comment:. Thank you all so much for you comments and messages. They mean so much to me and my family and we take great joy reading the positive reaction to my post. I'll try and read them all and respond but please forgive me if I don't write back. I'm busy cramming lots of good times in. Flart_Gnaffy

I’ll make a goal to hit every item on the list for you, as a way of thanking you for reminding me that life is what we make it. I hope you’re at peace man

Thank you for treating me like a normal woman. Today was my very first day trying and buying women's clothes and when I first walked into the store I was so nervous and scared. Some of you looked away, some of you hesitated to walk near me and some of you didn't notice or didn't care. But not a single one of you made a comment about this transgender woman shopping for clothes. Thank you for making what I thought would be a difficult day such a pleasant experience for me. It's ok if you gave me a look of confusion, you don't have to understand. I'm just happy none of you said anything about me withing earshot. Thank you for letting me be a woman today. I can't wait for my next shopping spree! <3

So exciting to hear! Very glad you can start to feel even a little bit more comfortable in your own skin you deserve this! Everyone deserves to feel happy and fulfilled and I'm glad you are well on your way to the end of that journey.

Yes I snooped I’m bad, kill me. Or maybe my boyfriend will do it for you. I recently discovered via mostly his search history and kind of from hearing a conversation he was having with a guy friend on the phone, that he has a grotesque, violent, beyond words fetish for dead bodies and having sex with them. He wants to decapitate a girl, rape the body, and use the head as a personal fleshlight until it smells too bad and he has to ditch it. Picture after picture of bodies, heads, and body parts. Porn searches for dead girls. There is stuff like this ALL OVER his computer. Obviously I’m fucking absolutely horrified and sick to my stomach. I got vertigo and genuinely almost passed out when I learned about it all. I have no idea what to do. I’m into bdsm and crazy shit, but this is moons and planets away from something I would ever imagine at all. Am I stupid for even considering that this is a fetish he won’t act upon and accepting that everyone is kind of fucked up? Should I confront him and leave? Talk about it? Am I a complete moron? It’s hard to describe the feeling of having your guts wrenched painfully like this unless it’s happened to you. I’ve NEVER felt so disgusted and horrified in my life. UPDATE: I don’t live with him, but he knows where I live. I plan to casually barely respond to his messages until my parents are back from DC (if I break up with him he will DEFINITELY come to my house and try to talk me out of leaving. I want someone else home.) and make up an excuse to break it off then. And a few people have mentioned bdsm being a sign of this disgusting fetish he has. I’d just like to clear up that I’m a dominant person and I dont let people inflict pain upon me. The opposite is true. FINAL UPDATE: he hasn’t tried to text me. I told his fucking mom. So yeah. No Bailey Sarian video about me. Absolutely last final totally last update: thursday may 12th: he has not tried to text me, his mother made it absolutely clear she would not put me in a dangerous position by mentioning that I told her. I’m going to go ahead and abandon this throwaway and move on. This has been the most disgusting, horrific experience of my life and I just want to get it over with. Thank you so SO much to everyone concerned about my safety. I think I’m truly out of the woods and would like to just move on with my life. I appreciate you all. Thanks. It’s finally just over. I’m so done. Thanks so much for the concern, guys ❤️

Run as far as you fucking can from Ted Bundy Jr.

Going through his phone and finding out that he “shot his shot” with approximately a dozen women and they all turned him down. I am simultaneously betrayed and cringing.

Oh my god yes. He's out there desperately trying to cheat and no one even wants him 💀 That is particularly humiliating isn't it. Please get the hell out of there, do not see this as "but he didn't cheat", he *wanted* to, and he *tried* to. He has no control over the fact that no one wants him... *yet*. He'll probably keep going until he catches someone, anyone.

My son is four and has autism. For the most part, he’s nonverbal. In therapy for the last week or so they’ve been working on “mom” and “dad” with him, by showing him photographs of myself and my husband. This evening when I went to go pick him up, his therapist brought him out to the truck. She pointed to me and asked him “Who’s that?” He enthusiastically replied “Mom!” It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him say it. I beat myself up a lot of days and always wonder if I’m doing the right things for him. Small victories like today make me feel a bit better. Edit: Thank you for the gold Edit 2: Thank you for the platinum!

My brother was non-verbal at 4 and now at 21 he won’t shut up! Congratulations though, made me smile.

I am 22. My parents had me when my dad was 54 and my mother was 47. My dad died when I was 12. I have no siblings. None of my aunts or my uncle is alive. The one cousin I have lives abroad. My mother died. Last month. I’m 22. And I am all alone now.

Oh I understand where you are coming from so well. I was adopted when mum was 46 and dad was 51. He passed when I was 15 and I had to look after mum as she put everything on me and told me she couldn’t cope. I left school and worked to help support her, she had an old age pension by then. I had to organise where we would live, a car to share when I could drive and anything else that an adult woman should have done for her child not the other way around. I had an elderly child is how I saw it. She was an extremely selfish woman and even told me she and dad got me so they would have someone to look after them in their old age. We did not get on and I only had a relationship with her out of duty and guilt. I had adult siblings in another country who had no interest in me and a grandmother who hated me for not being family. So no one really. I got married and had kids as soon as I found the man I loved. They were my family. My real family so I gave them the upbringing I wish I had. I still kept her involved but less and less as she became more demanding and toxic and hated my husband for taking me away. Her words. She finally got dementia and then passed away. I won’t lie, it was a relief to me. You will find your own family. I have a husband and children of my own now. But also have several really good friends who have become my family. One I met late in life and she is what I imagine a sister must be like. We are really close having shared a similar history. And one I met from work before I had kids who i also think of as family. My kids all call her Aunty. I’m so sorry you are all alone now but you will find people who you come to love as family and you may have kids of your own one day.

I wish for everyone reading this that a year from today that we all are in a better situation in life, career, love, health, family, whatever you desire. I wish that for you. Have a great afternoon! :) Sending a virtual hug. &#x200B; EDIT:Hello all, I don't know where to start...I guess first thanking everyone, I've been reading every single one of your replies since last night. Thank you for the awards, private messages, good wishes; I was definitely not expecting this at all. I can sense when people speak from their hearts, a thousand thank you's will not be enough to show how grateful I am, this is the reminder that I can't lose that little hope I have inside me, there's good people on this earth. As I was writing this yesterday, tears were coming down my face, we all have different problems/struggles or situations and I'm letting you Know I sympathize with each and everyone of you. Again, from the bottom of my heart, all the best. We only have this life, and we deserve to have a good one. Be kind to one another, we all need it. Hugs Brenda

Thank you very much. I wish you the same!

My girlfriend had a really long week and was tired. I know she likes pancakes and chocolate so I wanted to surprise her with chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast in bed on her day off. I snuck out of bed early and I followed the directions on the box exactly, but i was worried the batter was going to be too thick with the chocolate chips so I added a bit more milk. Then it was too runny so I had to add more flour, then it was way too thick. So I didnt want to water it down anymore and said fuck it, but then they werent cooking properly. I also tried to make a heart with the chocolate chips but between the thickness of the batter and geberal spatula fuckery they came out more like scrambled pan muffin egg cakes and there was no heart. You guys, her face just lit up and she was so happy with my pancake mess. She kept putting her fork down to kiss me and the way she looked at me... like its weird to type but I really feel like im something, or like im SOMEBODY you know. It was that same feeling where, I guess I felt really proud of myself for doing something like that, I mean I was pretty shy cause they weren't nice pancakes but she said I made her happy.... I'm sorry for posting this here again. I just really dont have an outlet where i can talk about romantic stuff like this, people around me arent about that kind of thing but really, being with her and doing these nice gentle things... I love her. It just feels good.

Just so you know, on the rare occasion where my husband has gotten up before me and made me a cup of hazelnut coffee.. I've teared up. Even if it isn't the perfect cream to coffee ratio, I am still bubbling over with love the second I wake up because I know he thought to do something nice for me real quick. Doesn't matter the shape of them - she loves you for the effort and showing her you care. That's awesome.

I hate it here. COVID proves it. This country is selfish, ignorant and morally bankrupt. Almost every other developed country has figured COVID out and seen dramatic case drop offs. But we're still sitting here with our thumbs up our asses because we can't handle life without fucking Cracker Barrel! All we had to do was wear a mask and distance. That's it! But our cowardly government sold us out! Giving billions to faceless corporations while the average citizen got pocket change! Now people *have* to work to survive, but they could die if they work! It's like everyone here hates the idea of helping other people. I hate it here. There's no hope. Our youth are facing a hopeless future where retirement will be near impossible, wages stagnant and health care unaffordable. This country will suck me dry if I don't escape. I know that every country has problems, and many have worse problems than America. But the sheer lack of care for other people, the demonizing of social progress, the denial of science, the willful ignorance--there's no way we'll survive the next 20 to 30 years.

I think what happened is that Americans lived in a bubble for so long that we as a nation developed our own social norms where self centered life style is a right. We don't care about "others" in general, especially if it's inconvenient. It's very normal in America that you have lived in a neighborhood for years and you don't even know the name of your next door neighbours. Any other nation that I ever lived in or visited is totally opposite in that sense

My boyfriend works a typical 8 to 5 job, Monday thru Friday. He's always the first to text good morning because I usually sleep in. I've noticed that everyday that he's at work, at exactly 8:36am, he texts me a sweet good morning message. The first two days that I noticed, I thought it was just coincidence, but then for the next week, it was the same thing at 8:36am. Now I didn't want to just assume that he had an alarm specifically set for saying good morning to me, but secretly I really hoped. Eventually, I looked over his shoulder as he was setting another alarm for a different time and I saw his top alarm was set for 8:35am Monday thru Friday and is was called "Tell my love, good morning." I still haven't told him I know his cute secret and I'm not sure if I ever will. Part of me wants to tell him that I know but another part of me doesn't want to. At least not anytime soon. Maybe when we're old and boring and need something to talk about haha. I just wanted to tell someone because it's been something that's been on my mind for months and I just find it so adorable! Edit: Wow! This has gotten so much more attention than I anticipated. Thank you kind stranger for my first ever medal!!

Don’t tell him he might get embarrassed. Mine has reminds set on his phone to send me memes lol

I met my wife when we were both in high school. We grew up in the south, so me being gay wasn't exactly an option at the time. We started dating because it was a good cover for me, and she had a thing for me. I've never had much of a sex drive. I used to assume it was the pent up gay, but knowing the terms now, I'm probably on the ace spectrum. I definitely like men, but even with the hottest guys I only ever wanted it once or twice a month. I came out about 15 years ago, just to her. She was heartbroken, but very accepting. She asked me to still "date" her until I found a boyfriend, and I agreed because I did really value her as a close friend. We both agreed we would keep living together, go out together with friends, the usual, but obviously would start actively seeing other people. I met a few guys, but none that I really wanted to hold down, and she was happy enough coming home to me after whatever escapades she got up to. Then she got pregnant. Everyone assumed I was the father, and all I've ever wanted was to be a stay at home dad. I sat her down and told her that if she wanted, I'd marry her if she was the breadwinner. I'd take care of the baby, the house, all that stuff, if she supported us. I explained that I would want the same arrangement we had now, but that this way she could count on having childcare, and I would have the life I've always wanted. She agreed, and we got married in August 2011. "Our" daughter was born January of 2012. Life was exactly what I wanted and expected. We didn't have tons of money, but we got by fine. About 5 years ago, we got drunk, and slept together. For the first time in our relationship, we were actually physical. I woke up the next morning and was shocked at how much I didn't regret it. It was definitely not something I would have done sober, but it made her so happy it just made me happy. It was... Fine. Ultimately, it wasn't some horrid, gross thing. I wasn't into it, but it really made her happy, and that made me happy. She asked me about it, and I told her the truth. I am gay, I am not attracted to her, but I *do* love her. If a physical relationship would make her that happy, I could do that. After all, how many women are with men they aren't attracted to? When the pandemic hit, we had another talk. We discussed that seeing other partners wasn't safe, and for the time being, and the safety of our daughter, we should stop doing so. *Our* second daughter was born 3 days ago. There were some complications, and I realized I didn't just love my wife, I was *in* love with her. I have a perfect wife, a perfect little white picket fence life, and two beautiful daughters. I am a gay man, and I am in love with my wife.

OP, are you just sharing with us or coming to terms with what this means? Congrats on the little one also :)

It's been 5 years since I found you hanging lifeless in the garage. In that moment my world fell apart. All my dreams of the future we would have, to just being able to say Good Morning Baby, all of it gone. I don't even remember screaming or how I managed to get you down or what I did to try to resuscitate you. All I could fixate on was that one single point in time. I was so angry at you because I felt that you selfishly chose to leave me and left me alone to try and pick up the pieces. You knew I would be the one to find you, who else would be in our garage? You never even showed me any signs that you were contemplating leaving like this. You made me question everything about myself. I was so overcome with grief and guilt and had so many unanswered questions that I know would never be answered. But I still love you. I never stopped or fell out of love with you. I love you and you were suddenly just gone. I was numb and empty. I tried everything to fill that void in my life where you once were and nothing helped. I know you would have been disappointed in me in the choices I made trying to find some sense of myself. I started going through therapy and I learned how to mourn you and start letting my grief go. I started to become myself again. I met the most amazing and gentle person that I think you would approve of. He's not replacing you. He can't replace you. Just like no one can replace him. I didn't feel like I was ready, but I learned to love again and he was there every step of the way, the nights when I would wake up crying because I would have nightmares about finding you, he was there. It's selfish of me, but there were times where I wished you were as understanding as he. Then maybe you wouldn't have left. But it's not right for me to compare you two. But I still miss you, I'm sure I'll always miss you, but now my thoughts of you are of the fondness we shared and remembering your life now brings me joy and a small pang of missing you and not an overwhelming crushing wave of sadness and pain. Thank you for the good times, I wish you could see where I am now. EDIT: Thank you everyone for your kind support and words of comfort. I hope anyone who has or is going through what I've gone through heals and finds peace and love.

As a gruff old man I didn't expect to come to Reddit and cry my eyes out....I am so glad you are doing better and are healing every day. Much love to you as you move forward in life and love.

I am so tired of his shit. Edit to add: Why can't he just shut the fuck up. I am so mad about the Bubba Wallace tweet I can't even stand it.

I am a retired 25 year military veteran. I was a total Ronald Regan conservative. I spent 4 tours in combat and saw a lot of death and destruction. What I soon came to understand is our World is not a better place because of the American military complex or conservativism. Actually I find that conservatives are very closed minded and are so fearful of change that they cling to this illusionary belief of the " good old days" they distort Christianity to use for their justifications to cause all manner of hardship to U.S. citizens, mainly poor and disenfranchised. My friend what is happening to you is you are awakening to your own humility, which begins with empathy for others. Walk the path of ancient masters and understand love will win the day.