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t3_236g7p | relationships | Update: Me [25 M] with my gf [24 F] of 1 Year, she lied about her sexual history now I cant stop thinking of ways catch her in a lie/possibilities of other lies. | Previous post: [Previous Post](
Me and my girlfriend had a heart to heart last night and it boiled down that I still think shes lying about the time frame and there is a bit more of an overlap due to how she hid it. She assured me there wasn't and we had a bit of a talk, we went over why i think shes lying, she assured me why she wasn't.
We know that our trust between us has suffered but we both agreed that we want tomorrow to be better then yesterday. The hardest part of this is that I'm confidant that she didn't cheat in the traditional sense, but the urge to uncover her lie about the first ~2-3 weeks of our relationship is still there. It boils down to trust, i don't trust her due to the lies shes told about that time period. Her reasoning is that if she had sex with him right before we met I would have ran the other way. I told her that's now how it works, i would have just used a condom.
She also went on to tell me that she joined the dating website we used when she was unsatisfied with her FWB situation because she was using that for some physical attention since she just got out of a LTR. She wanted to find someone to love her and as soon as she knew that we had a future she stopped the FWB situation. However, the issue is that she has no idea the last time they did anything. She just knows there is no sexual overlap and by week 2 it was over and that was the last time she saw him (it was non sexual, she went into his store). I guess im forced to accept this as fact, but i need to get over the urge that she's lying. Logically i understand what she did, but I still want to uncover the next bit.
Anyway, we are hoping that with time the trust comes back. We are both very happy when we are together and we are going to try to work it out. | We are going to work on the trust over time, hopefully my urge to question goes away with time. |
t3_4fuhpw | offmychest | I'm finally free! (Long) | I dated this guy for 6 months before we started having problems, like him flying halfway across the country to visit a girl he met on Tinder problems, while telling me it was a business trip. Douchbag then went on another "business trip" to Vegas over Valentine's weekend with her. I finally found out from finding her love letters to him. Nothing mattered though, I loved him with my entire being and I cried for 2 months straight until he took me back (HE got mad at ME for finding out he was lying). Anyway, fast forward to us casually dating and me frequently staying the night and my friend messages the other woman because she has no idea he's a lying douchbag. Turns out she really didn't know, loved him enough to want to move and marry him, and was at the airport about to get on a plane for her second visit. He had been telling me it was super casual and she knew he would never commit. She asks him about me, and he blocks us both. Because that's the best way to deal with your problems obviously. Anyway, I message her, we compare notes; he really has never told the truth in his life. Broke her heart. Me? I had already broken into nothing months before. But still loved him. Through everything. That is, until I found out how much he fucked up this other woman too. Finally I am done with him, finally I truly feel nothing, finally I belong to myself again!
(Throwaway-he Reddits) | super in love with a lying manipulative bastard, finally getting my feet back on the ground |
t3_2wmhnm | relationships | Me [21 M] with my friend [20 F] known her for about 6 months, fell for a friend that I didn't want to have fell for. Haven't spoken to her about it and I don't think I should | Yea, so I fell for a friend. The first few months I met her I was consciously deciding to NOT fall for her. So now here I am and that didn't work out too well.
I'm not sure how to handle it. Telling her would very possibly wreck our friendship. Not telling her will result in me just wanting to eventually get away. So I feel like I'm fucked either way.
This really sucks. I swear to God I wish I would've just stayed friends with her and not have feelings. This is just not something I could control and it's just killing me know that I'm probably going to loose a awesome friend over this bullshit.
Fact of the matter is I know I can't seperate feelings/friendships. So I'm left with two options.
1.) Try to pursue a relationship/Just tell her how I'm feeling.
2.) Slowly begin to cut off contact.
Option 1 would be great if it works out. But if it doesn't -- well fuck that would just suck.
Option 2 would be A LOT less risky and I wouldn't have to deal with any rejection
I'm feeling options 2 as being favorable but maybe you guys can tell me I'm crazy for that? | Fell for someone that I didn't want to fall for. What the hell do I do? |
t3_3zwwnp | relationships | Me [26F] with my boyfriend [31m] : he makes a ton more money than I do, and wants to go on his second month-long holiday by himself. | Throwaway just in case..
My boyfriend and I did long-distance for one year, and then in September of last year I moved to be with him. I left the city that I loved and took on a job that pays about half of what my previous job did, in the small city where he lives, so we could be together. He works as an engineer and makes a really good salary.
Now, with his job he also gets a month of holidays every year, which he has to use up or else he loses. Last year he went to Thailand by himself for a month. It was really hard on me, but I believe in travel as a way to learn so I tried my best to be supportive.
Now, he is planning to leave for the month of Feb or March to go to Peru. Except this time, I am living in this small city, where I have no friends and essentially no money (a lot of my money goes to rent, which we split 50/50). I am really worried about spending that month by myself and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be selfish and say he can't go, but at the same time I feel as if I have made many sacrifices which he simply doesn't recognize. And I can not go with him because with my new job a) I do not make enough money, and b) I do not have any vacation days. Do you guys have any advice for me? | My older, richer boyfriend wants to leave me here in this crappy town by myself while he jets off to Peru. |
t3_4km6jr | relationships | Me [15 M] with my crush [16 F] how do I get to know her? | Posting on a throwaway, don't want people thinking I'm an overly
emotional edgy teen on my main, lol.
Alright so I've been thinking of this girl that is WAYYYY out of my
league but is close with my 18 yr old sister. She's told my sister
she'd go out with me if I got taller and thinner (I literally am an
aryan Gimli). I guess she thinks I'm funny. She joked about asking
me out to things early on in the year but has stopped doing that.
Anyway, I got her snapchat at my sister's birthday party and I sent
her a snapchat, she snapped back, I sent her another, she didn't.
I'm wondering how I can get a stable chatting convo to happen
and if I can make them frequent. If I get to know her better, there
will be more things to joke about. So, /r/relationships, how do I
get to know her better? Reach goal is to get her phone number. | How do I start talking to a girl? |
t3_j8m57 | AskReddit | Childhood memories: Reddit, What is the name of the playground game when you form a chain and run around like a snake? | So I can remember playing this as a kid a few times on the rare chance we could get a chain going.
Basically all the kids would link hands or arms to form a massive chain or snake. We would then all run around as a chain, nearly the entire school (200 odd kids) to where ever it would take us.
The reason I ask is because I felt like comparing a scenario to it.
So really I'm wondering if anyone else has played this? and what it's name is.
Also I think there was a little bit of rebellion involved, in my school it became banned but if the entire school was doing it no one would be punished. | Playground Linked chain hand/arm running game, mass numbers, snake like, what's its name? |
t3_1zxua9 | relationships | I [17M] want to improve the texting dynamic between me and a girl-interest[17F]. What can I do to increase interest and prevent conversation from stagnating? | Normally I don't text girls since I'm pretty busy, but lately I've had more time so I began texting a girl that I knew from a while back. I have a few questions since I'm completely new to this field. Perhaps somebody who's done this a lot can give me some direction or advice on how to move it beyond the initial stages.
1. Sometimes I feel like I am initiating the conversation every single time; it makes me feel like I'm really clingy and desperate when I want to avoid sending those sorts of vibes. Is it normal for the man to initiate text conversations 99% of the time.
2. Whenever we do text, I feel like they are somewhat interrogative. The conversation always end up in a question, answer, question, answer. How do you avoid something like this? I realize that I should be trying to talk to her in person, but it's really hard given that we are both at different schools and have incredibly busy schedules. What can I do to prevent the conversation from degrading into this?
3. Her responses are generally very "dead." I don't mean as in they're short and not thought out; her responses are decently worded and they look like she spent some time on them. What I mean is that it's really hard to keep a conversation going with her because she doesn't really offer any natural flow into another topic nor does it invite a natural response. I feel like I have to unnaturally force the conversation to keep it alive. Is this a personality thing or a sign of disinterest?
Finally, any general advice for a fellow redditor regarding women that might help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks! | What trends or tactics do you guys typically see that work when you text a guy/girl? What can I do to make the conversation less stagnant and how can I move it beyond the initial texting stage to something more? Help a beginner out. |
t3_ynqdf | relationships | [Temporarily LDR] Haven't spoken to S.O. in nearly two weeks. Should I be concerned? | Throwaway, because he is a Redditor eek!
I am a 23 year-old female, and he is a 27 year-old. We met in March, and have always been moderately long distance, which we both enjoyed as we are **very independent** and laid back. He moved away to work for the summer back in May, came back and stayed with me for two weeks with zero complications and we had nothing but a blast together. He has been gone completely since early June.
It isn't abnormal for us not to talk for a few days, and I don't mind at all. Sometimes we'll text, sometimes we Skype, and sometimes he calls when he isn't busy (his job is very demanding and travel-based). But at this point, it's been nearly two weeks and I am getting concerned he isn't really interested anymore and is trying to subtly blow me off. The last conversation we had was a drunken phone call - perhaps I made a fool of myself.
Maybe it's an irrational feeling, but I had a different relationship suddenly go long distance last year where the guy just stopped talking to me one day. Not to mention I dated an extremely independent guy once who called me clingy for wanting to hang out with him more than twice a week, and am now scared into believing I don't give enough space.
I initiate about 90% of conversation, and it's always been like this. He definitely knows I feel strongly for him, though we aren't exactly a communicative couple. Nor have we ever established we were in a legitimate relationship (other than telling people who ask that we are together). It's difficult when you rely mostly on texting.
I figure if he wanted to talk, he would have by now. Should I be concerned and continue giving him space, or am I just being entirely irrational and self-conscious and letting the past get to me? I am just looking for a bit of guidance here, because this one is very special to me and the last thing I want to do is lose him by bothering him too much or bothering him too little. | In a very independent, non-demanding relationship with someone who is away for the summer. I'm concerned I may have made a fool of myself, as he has not responded to my last text and I have not heard from him in nearly two weeks. I feel like I initiate all conversation.. Do I man up and talk to him, or continue giving him space? |
t3_13wiak | relationship_advice | [32/m] My wife(28/f) caught me in an affair. She wants me to stay. I don't know what I want. Thoughts? | The background:
I've been married for 7 years. We have 3 children, ages 6, 3, and 2. My wife (I'll call her Lynn) and I had been growing apart steadily for about 5 years, mostly due to her alcoholism and refusal to accept her role as a mother, wife, and responsible adult.
My mistress (I'll call her Maggie) is in a strangely similar situation. (Unappreciative husband and 2 kids, ages 3 and 11 months.) She and I had been platonic friends for about 2 years with no questionable behavior, until about 2 months ago. She opened up about the unhappiness of her marriage which led to us connecting over our similarly unhappy marriages. We bonded. The affair was based in love, not lust. Maggie essentially behaved like I had always wanted Lynn to behave. She's a good mother, and a good friend, thoughtful, kind, and an incredible lover. I've had opportunities in the past to fool around but had never acted until I met her. Our affair lasted about a month before we were caught.
After the bomb went off, Lynn had the predictable reaction. Drinking, arguing, picking fights. I decided to leave. I spent about a week away while she stayed in our apartment and started sorting her life out. Then came the unexpected part. She stopped drinking, sent the paperwork to get her driver's license back, started working out, cleaning the apartment, and being especially kind and patient with the kids (I let her have them while I was at work under the condition that she stay sober.)
Now that she has begun this massive shift she wants me to stay. I understand that it is extremely soon and I have no intention of making a "forever" decision while this is all so fresh, but I really have no idea where to go next.
I don't know if the change will last. I don't know who I want to be with. I don't know where to go from here.
I'm not looking to Reddit for a solution, but any insight from someone who has a background in this sort of thing would be worth hearing. | Shitty wife has completely changed after discovering my affair. Should I stay or should I go now? |
t3_4xdd4m | legaladvice | Cannot handle job anymore and want to quit but forced to work for 20 more days | Hello. I would like an advice on one matter related to work.
Some two months ago, I got employed at Amazon Customer Service (working from home).
The problem is, I cannot handle the working hours and even though the job description said the system is very flexible, it is flexible only for Amazon as any requests to change my schedule were shot down.
So I decided the best thing I can do is to ask to quit the job since it is negatively affecting my health.
However, when I asked to be fired, they said that in the contract it says that I need to give notice before quitting 20 working days before I want to quit. Basically, I have to work for 20 more days even after asking to quit the job.
Now, 20 days ago, the schedule wasn't as bad, so I had no reason to ask for leaving the job yet. I also thought that it wouldn't be so complicated to leave, which is my fault because I should have read the contract properly I guess.
But either way and | the job really is affecting my health, I really want to quit but apparently I can't no matter how bad it is making me feel for at least 20 more days. I consider this rather inhumane. |
t3_3vwlpn | tifu | TIFU by going to grab a bottle of water | This happened like five minutes ago.
It's 11:50 PM on a school night, and I just finished homework and finished taking a shower. I always get a bottle of water with me every night before I go to sleep. So I go downstairs, where my dad is watching TV, and then go down more stairs to our garage to get the water. Our water bottle cases are next to the washing machine and the dryer in the garage. Next to them, are some big tank things with pipes that connect them into the house. Don't know what they are, I just know it has something to do with our houses water and stuff.
As I walk down the stairs to go fetch my bottle of water, this nasty ass stench makes its way to my nose and I go in my mind, "wtf??". It's dark and I can't see too much, so I just think that maybe there's like mud or something on my parents' cars. I make my way to the washing machine and get my bottle of water, when I realize that I'm stepping on something wet and mushy. (Thankfully with my slippers, not bare footed) I look down and make out chunk-like shapes on the floor. That's when it hit me. Toilet water and poop must have spilled downstairs somehow. I am standing there in a puddle of poop with a bottle of water in my hand in the dark and I am just like, "wtf." I go upstairs and tell my dad, who is basically like "lol wat r u sayin don't scare me son". I tell him to go look and he is just as stunned as me. He then looked around at the pipes and the tanks and the stuff downstairs and couldn't find any place that the water could have come from. He then told me that he will check it out tomorrow with my mom because it's late. Now it's 12 AM and I have a test tomorrow. | Walked downstairs to get a bottle of water. I ended up finding another type of water. |
t3_3q5ewa | Dogtraining | [Discussion] How do you know how when your dog's brain is fried / how do you decide how long and often to train? | I have recently cranked up the training I've been doing with my dog. She's a pain to walk and I want to clean up that behavior, I recently moved to a new place and want to train some specific behaviors for the new place, and I want to get her GCC cert sometime. So, lots of new things for her to learn!
I want to train her without over training, confusing, or exhausting her.
I've noticed that after a training session, especially one involving a new or newish behavior, she tends to flop out and go into a deep sleep. I suspect this is an important part of the learning process and try to leave her alone when this happens. On the flip side, she's a smart dog and if training is too repetitive and easy she gets restive and starts looking for shortcuts and loopholes (like doing the first half of a behavior rather than the whole thing).
Each dog probably has their own optimal training schedule that balances hard enough to be interesting with easy enough to not be overwhelming. I struggle with figuring out this balance for my dog--how do you guys figure it out for yours?
ETA/ | I know everyone just has to learn their dog by trial and error, I'm just looking to share stories and general ideas. |
t3_4iy18l | relationships | Why is my ex-boyfriend [27] flying across the country to visit me [26/F] ? | I met this guy on Tinder last April and we ended up having a relationship for about a year. It was mostly physical, but we talked about marriage, kids, etc.
I lost my job and ended up moving across the country a month ago. We ended things because his family, job, etc are all on the East Coast. He's now coming to visit me this weekend in California.
My question is what does he want out of this trip? He's never been to California before and the timing is suspicious to me. I'm ecstatic he's coming, but I don't want to mistake his decision to come here as his attempt to get back together if that's not how his guy brain works. | Why is my ex-boyfriend flying across the country to visit me a month after we ended things? |
t3_413qct | relationships | My [45M] wife [45F] doesn't take my advice on a subject that I'm an expert in. | I am an advertising creative director working for A-list agencies producing campaigns for Fortune 500 companies (as well as startups and small businesses). You have seen my work on TV, in magazines, on billboards and online—and I apologize for all of it.
My wife, "Jane," and I are opening a retail shop very soon, and I am, of course, responsible for marketing. I always ask for Jane's feedback before moving ahead with anything, however, she's a terrible client. At work, I generally deal with bad clients by doing what they ask, because, hey, they're the client. But this is our business, and we've invested a lot of our savings into it. One of the things that really appealed to me about the new business (which Jane with run day in, day out) is that we would have the opportunity to avoid doing all the stupid stuff clients insist upon.
One of the biggest mistakes clients in my industry make is treating the concepts they're presented like we're students handing in an assignment graded and corrected. I have won all the advertising awards you've heard of (and many of the more meaningful ones you haven't heard of), and yet Jane rewrites and redesigns the marketing executions I produce.
Jane and I treat everything we do as a partnership and have a WONDERFUL relationship, but it boggles my mind that her desire to work together on the shop's marketing results in her contradicting the advice of an expert in the field.
I welcome Jane's feedback ("I'm not sure blue is the right color."), but her demands ("Change the blue to red.") are infuriating. I'm not making the marketing decisions randomly, and even if she doesn't understand the reasoning behind my choices (which I explain), a lot of experience goes into my work. Without saying, "You're a terrible client and you have bad ideas," how do I tell Jane, "You're a terrible client and you have bad ideas."? | I want to tall my wife, "Fuck it, you do it then," but there's nothing about that which would be the least bit productive. |
t3_34fze7 | relationships | I [26/F) found a picture of my Dad with the words "I HATE YOU" written under it in my Dad's (60/M) desk and I don't know how to approach the situation. | I was visiting my parents house and I often use my Dad's computer while I am there and I root through his desk because I just always have and I often end up finding something nostalgic to me in there. On this particular visit I went to open his desk and I found something that shocked me. I found on top of everything a Polaroid of my Dad and under it in the white space where you can write something in my handwriting was "I HATE YOU", written in a very angry scratched-in font.
Growing up my Dad had bad anger issues where he would yell at me and my siblings and this was never fun but I never hated my Dad. I know I wrote on this picture out of anger. I cannot believe that not only did I do this, but my Dad saw it, and apparently kept this picture in his desk. I want to cry thinking about how he probably looks at it often and feels like shit. Like why would he keep something like this?
To top it off, under the picture was a note in my SISTERS handwriting saying how she hates my Dad. Like what the fuck how horrible. Sure my Dad had anger issues but I don't want him to fucking think we hated him.
I don't know what to do now. I'm 26 and moved out and we now have a good relationship and I often talk to him on the phone and email him and tell him I love him, but I can't help but wonder why he would keep these horrible things in his desk.
I don't know how to bring it up. I feel so awful. I know kids often tell their parents they hate them out of anger, but not like this, this is different. | Found notes me and my sister wrote telling my Dad that we hate him in his desk. I don't know why he would keep these things and it makes me sad thinking of how he looks at them and probably hates himself. I don't know how to bring it up. |
t3_3cdpwc | personalfinance | Parents and relatives doesn't want to cosign a student loan. Don't want to drop out. Need some advice to see through this. | Hi /r/personalfinance, I've been a lurker for quite some time. Usually someone asks how to pay their loans, well, I want to ask for help on how to acquire some.
I've been dating this girl for almost a year now and she's having trouble on how to continue school without $$$$.
Background info:
We're both going into our third year of engineering in a medium size state university, we are also on track with expected graduation on May 2017. She lives far so commuting is not an option to lower costs. The cost for our school is around $26,000 and her financial aid (FAFSA) is roughly $16,500. Which $7,500 are federal loans under her name and $2000 is of work study. She has a part-time job and makes around $250 weekly, where she saves very little, since she has a payment plan for her summer classes that will be paid off by the end of the summer <$2000. She lives at home now and has a low cost living but her parents (divorced) don't want to cosign a student loan for the remainder of the school costs.
I'm trying to be supportive and help her emotionally through this. I have looked at some private loans that she can out but she has a credit score of around 630 so they would still require a cosigner.
Any advice would be appreciated :) | girlfriend parents won't cosign a loan for her. She's looking at around $10000 needed for the school year. Her credit score is 630. Drop out is not an option since she's graduating in 2 years in biomedical engineering. |
t3_2h7cjx | relationships | Is he [22M] using me [21F] to hook up? | I met a guy recently. He seemed nice and asked me out on a date. That said, he was way too gorgeous and way too smooth, so I instantly was cynical and believed he might be a ladies man. I agreed and we went for coffee somewhere in our neighborhood. We talked etc. and it was going great. We had an instant attraction from the time we met that I feel we both acknowledged. He ends up kissing me during the date and I pulled away and informed him that I'm not ready for a relationship. Despite this, he went for A FEW more kisses, and eventually I gave in. Since then, we've been only hanging around our neighborhood - we don't go on "real dates". We're simply meeting at "places ALONE". And when we DO meet up, it seems like the majority of time is spent intensely making out. I've brought it up that this bothers me (we've literally had arguments over this) - but he's reassured me that this is "more than that" and that it's simply because he's really attracted to me. He has a past of being a player but has been quite open about his relationships with women in the past. But he told me that he's looking for something serious.
He pays for everything when I see him, is quite chivalrous, talks to me throughout the day, always wants to see me, checks-in, seems irritated by the thought of myself and other men, and has told me about himself. BUT, HAS NOT TAKEN ME OUT ON A DATE. I suggested we see a movie tomorrow. And he seemed excited because we haven't seen each other for 2 days. As our conversation progressed, he suggested we go "somewhere alone" again, which I interpreted as a ploy to get physically frisky. As always, I got irritated and told him that I rather not go at all. He's now begging me to see him and to take me out and claims that "he'll show me that it's not only about that".
But I've heard that claim 15 times so far. | is he using me? |
t3_4i0uif | relationships | I [29F] keep clicking with younger guys lately. Convince me there is hope, since Im super insecure about this | Im 29, and I got out of a 7 year relationship when I was 27. My ex was 4 years older than me, and one other relationship was only 1-2 years older than me. Both were totally in my comfort zone and the attraction was real.
The last year and a half though, I've flirted and hooked up with guys 2-3 years younger than me and I don't know why but its been triggering an insecurity I didn't know I had.
One guy was just one year younger than me. I often get told I look like I'm in my early 20s but that's not really the point, I just feel like an old maid all the time and like I'll never be seen as relationship material because I'm just too old to be introduced to their folks and get to know better; Like I'm just some cougar fling. Over something like 2 fucking years! Its driving me nuts.
I like being submissive and girly, so I think a part of me is scared younger guys will just think I'm weird. How do I learn to be open to dating younger guys if they express interest?
I'm open to dating anyone if there's chemistry, but I just want the guys of /r/relationships to be straight up about any apprehensions they've had regarding dating an older girl. Is this all in my head? Is it true that it *really* stops mattering once your'e both past 25? Why am I like this!!! help! | What do guys really think about girls who are slightly older than them |
t3_1fck9g | pettyrevenge | All actions have (petty) consequences | **Background**
My teacher had assigned my class a group project (ugh) and my other friends already had already gotten partners, so me and my friend (we'll call her A) ended up getting partners who were not the best. D and T. D lived an hour away from school so it was hard for her to commute to help work and T usually didn't do much work.
**the revenge**
Me and A ended up doing most of the work. Writing scripts (it was a newscast) and calling everyone to do work. Towards the end of the project T ditched the film session, leaving me A and D without a person to hold the camera (we were in school and everyone was working on their projects). In the end, we ended up getting it done, and when posting it to YouTube, I wrote in the description our names. Except for T, I didn't capitalize it like everyone else's! AND I PUT IT LAST. MWAHAHAHAHA. | my 'friend' didn't do any work for a group project so I put her name last and uncapitalized. |
t3_yfymj | relationships | My SO (f20) is getting more short tempered and pinned me (m21) as a psycho, what steps do i take to not maker her think that or is it too late? | We've been going out for almost a year now, and its honestly the best year ever, we spent practically everyday together. Come summer, she got busy with school and work and basically we fought alot, she said she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore b/c her proprieties changed. But ive been supportive. Ive cooked her lunches, tutored her in her classes and other small things. Intimacy was on and off during the summer and so were feelings. There are times where she would miss me to the point of tears and others were she cant stand my face. Now we live in the same apartment with a few other people and things were good. There were times were we would have fun and smile and laugh but other times she would just snap or at the smallest things. Recently she pinned me as overbearing and we argue when we see each other.. every action i do, she twists to make her it fit her overbearing achetype for me. I admit there were some times where i got clingy but she still holds everything against me. Is it too late or are there ways i can recover this? | On and off relationship with gf and now she thinks im someone im not... halp~ |
t3_3xi7db | dating_advice | Are they (21 F) afraid of me (22 M)? What does this behavior mean? | Hi, all, first time redditor here, this is just my second post, and I need some help.
I'll start by describing myself to give you a little bit of insight into my situation.
I'm a 22 year old senior male in college, I stand at about 6 foot 2 inches and weigh roughly 245 pounds, I've been hitting the gym lately to fix that problem. I'm generally very quiet and work focused at school but am outgoing when people engage me or in the classroom.
My situation is this, I've been seeing a lot of strange body language and behavior from women lately. I've noticed that particular women will go out of their way to avoid me. I've never spoken to any of these women--though one of them is acquainted with my older sister and another is heavily involved in my degree program--I see them often, just by being around the school.
Here are a few example situations:
About a week ago, one of these women seemed to follow me into the printing room, saw that I was preoccupied, and proceeded to pass me, turn her back, and stare at a blank bulletin board for what seemed like an eternity.
The second situation, this time with a different girl, seemed to be a clear case of avoidence of initimidation. I was sitting at a computer in the library and turned to look at the noise down the hall. I made eye contact with the young lady and what followed was a hilariously unsubtle change in direction. She literally turned on her heel and went through the printing room to the adjacent hallway. Mind you, the way our library is set up, both hallways lead to the same destination.
A similar situation happened with a third woman just the other day.
It's been bothering me, because it's mostly behavior just coming from these three. Are they afraid of me, or physically intimidated or something?
I make a point to mind my posture and I make a lot of eye contact with people in general. And from what I know of the first girl, she isn't exactly shy. | Pretty girls that I've never talked to seem to be avoiding me, is this common? The first girl I've been interested in for a while, is this an indicator of disinterest? Or just nervousness? |
t3_2renfh | relationships | Me [22 F] with my fiancé [22M] been together 3 years, just got engaged and are planning on moving across the country. How do I tell my incredibly conservative parents? | Hi everyone,
So my fiancé and I have been dating for 3 years now, and just got engaged 5 days ago. We're both graduating from college this semester, and he has a job lined up 15 hours away from where we currently live that starts in June. We're talking about getting married in November, and we don't want to attempt to plan a wedding and a huge move both during this last semester of college. I also don't want to leave him alone to deal with a cross country move and a new job and planning a wedding for six months either.
I currently live at home with my very conservative parents who believe living together before marriage is wrong, and will be incredibly upset when they find out. I know this is going to be a rough thing to tell them, and will cause a lot of fallout, but this is what will be best for us.
My question is, what is the best way/time to approach this? Questions are already starting about what our plans are going to be, so I'm thinking we need to tell them sooner rather than later. I want to be respectful and attempt to keep communication open between us as I'm going to be living with the for the next five months. Thank you! | moving with my fiancé across country before marriage, incredibly conservative parents won't approve. How do I tell them respectfully? |
t3_2rokbf | relationships | Gf [25f] slept around a lot and I [25m] can't get over it. Together 3 months | Gf gave me her laptop to fix and I found a bunch of pics of her with guys, mostly her ex tho. She had a text file that listed a bunch of guys names I'm assuming these are the men she's slept with as I recognized a few of her ex's names on there and mine was the last name. The count was at 47. Some guys didn't even have names just "guy from the bar" or "peters friend".
Its not like I thought she was a virgin but she led me to believe she had been with 3 long term boyfriends all after the other so I'm wondering when she had time to fuck all these guys.
The other thing that bothers me is some of these names match guy friends she regularly hangs out with. This is a big red flag to me.. She could still be attracted to them
I guess it feels more weird than anything. I've never been with a girl who's been with so many men. I've always felt it was more special when two people have fewer partners. How do I know I'm not just guy #47 and what makes her so eager to fuck so many guys? Is she looking for attention? | gf has been with a lot of guys, I just found that out, feel weird about it, am I right to feel uneasy or am I being insecure? |
t3_4kodke | relationships | I [20/F] miss my ex and i don't know jouw to deal with it | I broke up with my boyfriend about four months ago. I felt like the relationship just changed and we weren't compatible anymore. It really felt like the right decision, but i am very much regretting it.
My friends are telling me to just find something or someone else to focus on, but it just doesn't work. I always think of him. I even dream about him and i catch myself talking casually about him. It feels like there has never been another person in my life who understands me like he did/does.
About a week ago i made the stupid mistake to text him and i asked him if he wanted to go and grab a drink. We arranged it and it was like nothing had changed. We laughed, almost cried, made the same old jokes, etc.
I know that there is very little chance that we ever would get back together. What should i do: tell him or just try to forget about him? | i miss my ex and i want him back. What should i do? |
t3_49hxpd | relationships | Me (M/24) got texted by my ex(f/22) after 3 years that she still has feeling for me | -So,a yestarday i got text and she said that she still has feeling for me after 3 years...
-We broke up because i was going trough some hard times in my life and i didnt share it with her.
-Anyway she is in relationship with a guy and he tould her that he loves her,she didnt said it back cause she thinks she is emotionaly cheating him with me so she wanted to see....
-I still love her after all this time and think about her, i want her back and i tould her that but she thinks things will be the same(me not being open to talk about myself or personal stuff)...
-we saw each other and everything was nice but she said she cant leave her boyfriend just because she saw me and dont know what to do
-What and how do i tell her to break up with him and give me another chance? Thanks in advance and sorry for spelling mistakes | Ex that i still have feeling for said she has feeling for me |
t3_vlk58 | loseit | 4 miles non-stop! Not bad for a fat girl :) | This has been unbelievably hard. As a McDonald's employee I replace buns for lettuce, soda for water, pies for parfaits, and essentially reddit time for miles. You have no idea how MUCH I love reddit! I had an epiphany this morning. I love to eat, but as an incoming college freshmen this fall, I would love to look great. Today I did those miles so that when I went to work I would remember how much they hurt, how painful they were on my thigh muscles and how bad i wanted it to all end. Before I put that chicken nugget in my mouth I will ask myself " a piece of chicken is stronger than you?" I just wanted to put this out here so I can drain my thoughts. I am the ONLY overweight person in my family. They are all so beautiful hahaha. THIS IS SO HARD D: no pictured because i am not at the weight i want yet. Im so tired of seeing all those pretty skinny girls in bikinis on my news feed... Instead of wishing of having a nice body Im going to work for it. | Im fat and I hate it, Im trying to change my fattness. |
t3_1ksy05 | relationships | Im (18f) in love with my cousin (18m), not my bf(33m) | I met my "cousin" (18m) through his dad, (not blood related but still family). We chatted via skype for hours. He lives a thousand miles away thought. So after a couple of weeks we decided to break it up due to distance before it got more serious between us. I started dating this new guy (33m) to kind of get him off my mind.
My "cousin" came to my state for summer to be with hes dad. We made love a couple of times while my bf wasnt there. I broke up with him my "cousin" again after talking to my mom and aunt about all the distance & the fact I cant deal with the distance. I moved in with my bf and my mom to a house now. I dont love him thought, Im learning to I guess, so after 2 months I kind of felt forced to finally sleep with him since we now share the same bed. Yesterday my "cousin" came to say goodbye since he leaves soon. He tried to kiss me but I rejected him. He didnt act the same after that.
He's the guy I love and hes going away. He'll be back once hes done with college (in 4 years..) for sure to live in my state since hes whole family is here. I dont know what to do and Im suffering being with someone Im not in love with while the one I do is going away. He has told me to come live with him several times but I cant leave my mom by herself a thousand miles away.
I tried to keep it short. So questions please ask. | Im in love with someone withing the family, (not blood related) not my bf, but hes going away for 4 years. |
t3_2wh5vp | relationships | Me [20 M] with my boyfriend [20 M] of 6 months, can't find the courage to break up with him. | I'm gay.
He was my first love, my first boyfriend, and taught me a lot about how to be in a relationsip.
The hard thing for me is mentally understanding that sometimes, just because you feel like you love someone, that doesn't always mean that you were meant to be together.
We got very serious, very fast, and whenever I'm not with him, I know with certainy that I can't stay with him. When I see his face, it becomes completely impossible to even imagine saying the words to him. I love him, and I don't want to hurt him, but I can't do it for much longer.
For my own health, it's time to let him go.
What do I do? How can I get the courage? Please, please help me. | I'm a wimp and can't break up. |
t3_3lov8c | loseit | 40 teaspoons of sugar daily. Help for your weight loss journey. | 40 teaspoon fulls of sugar daily for 2 months was the challenge that Damon Gameau undertook in That Sugar Film.
While initially that may seem like a lot, statistics ([1] [2] [3] [4] show that on average we eat much more than that!
I wanted to bring the film to you attention as it has made me rethink the many "healthy" foods we have in the supermarket, e.g. low fat, heart healthy, natural yogurt is basically no different to a Mars bar.
The film has some fun cinematography, some shocking scenes of terrible teeth (not for the faint hearted) and a playfully educational style that took fairly difficult concepts of fatty liver liver disease, different sugar metabolism pathways and even a little history of sugar and presented them in a **very accessible** and **easy to understand** manner.
You will see the effects of high sugar consumption on the physical and psychological side.
You will also be able to see the effects of sugar withdraw and perhaps relate to Damon's feelings. If you're in the same situation, you're not alone.
**I hope you can use this film as motivation and a reminder on your fat loss journey!**
If you've seen it, what did you think of it? Do you think it might be helpful for weight loss motivation? | That Sugar Film is a fun way to learn about the effects of sugar on the body and can help you with motivation on your weight loss journey. |
t3_4suwfk | relationships | Me [25F] with my bf[25M] of 6 months, he needs more support? | Hey there, things are going pretty well between the two of us, but something happened recently that we both can't agree.
We live in nyc and both went to a comedy show. I was having a lot of pain with my stomach so I gave him my phone and wallet to place in his bookbag. We left the show early and took a cab home because my stomach was getting worse.
When we got to my apartment, we checked his bag and realized my phone and wallet was not in there. In a high stress situation like this, I become super stoic and I told him calmly if he can go back to the club. He was getting upset, but I told him it was ok, and I gave him directions in order for us to find the missing wallet and phone.
I had to stay back at the apt because my stomach was still in pain, but he was gracious and went out to look for them. I was giving him information over the computer so he can look for the items. We were able to find the cab that the phone and wallet was lost in.
When he came back to my apt, I told him i appreciated his effort. I said that I'm not mad at him, but just be more careful next time. I kissed him goodnight. In the morning, I went out to retrieve the items at the garage.
A week later, he told me that he felt disconnected with me, because I wasn't supportive enough. At first I felt defensive, because in my mind I was. But he explained, he wished I said this, "Hey, this is not your fault. I should have kept the two items with myself. Do you want me to go with you to look for the items?" I explained that if I said this, I would be taking blame, when it ultimately was his responsibility. He says he understands what I am saying, but since he has so much guilt, he needs me to say things like this.
If anyone can give me perspective, I would be happy to change my position! | Should I have taken equal blame with the lost items? I thought it was his mistake but wasn't a big deal. |
t3_20s6ki | relationships | I (17 M) want to ask her (17 F) to prom. | So a bit of story I guess. This girl I've been crushing on for a few months, but it's only been in the last week or so that we've begun chatting alot. It's always over facebook but when we talk it ends up spanning close to 4-5 hours talking. On top of that we constantly flirt (at least I think so, a lot of poking each other, and eye contact with smiling)
So I'm just really nervous about it, so I'm just looking for a little confidence, maybe some advice on how to do it. (She's almost always with her group of female friends and I'd rather ask her in person) | Nervous and need some confidence on asking out crush to prom, even though I'm pretty sure we've been lightly flirting. Thanks in advance for any advice/confidence boosts. |
t3_29x4r0 | tifu | TIFU by asking my mom to look through my closest for a video game. (NSFW) | First, I'd like to say that I just finished my freshman year of highschool. So, a few months ago, about three, I foumd a copy of a certain explicit video called "Double Stuffed sluts 2".
I had recently broken my Left for Dead game and decided to pull the "ol' switcheroo" and I tossed left for dead and replaced with "double stuffed sluts 2".
When everyone would fall asleep I would "do the dance with no pants". This system was going well...until today.
I was at my friend's house and asked my mom to bring over a video game. I didn't even think of the huge mistake I had just made. My mom found the video game I was looking for, but she also found "Left for Dead".
On the way home from my friend's house my father looked at me and said "play any left for dead lately? ". I instantly knew I was fucked. I just got home and my mom won't even look at me. | I asked my mom to look for a video game and she found my porno. |
t3_4ffryh | relationship_advice | I'm [26/m] needing more affection from my fiance [27/f]. | My fiance and I have been engaged since 2009. We had plans to get married right after college, but those got pushed back because she got pregnant. We then had plans to get married after that, but again another pregnancy happened.
We have now hit a rough patch that I'm not sure how we get through. I still want the same amount of affection and love from her (both emotionally and sexually) and right now she just isn't able to reciprocate those. I'm not sure if this is a hormonal thing or something else (she did just get an implanted birth control).
Our two girls mean the world to me and I would not leave them for anything. I love her too and I want things to go back to the way they were, but I'm not sure how to do that. I feel that the issues are with her (I know that may very well not be the case and that most likely we share the blame). But I don't know how to start changing things.
She will talk to me a little bit about it, but for the most part when she talks about what she is feeling she says "I don't know why I feel that way" and then just moves on. How do I fix things when I don't even know what needs to be fixed?
I just really need someone to talk to. My guy friends aren't really helpful in this area and I'm not always comfortable taking to family. I've not experienced a low like this before and it is heart breaking. | I want our increase the love and affection in our relationship , but don't know how to do that. |
t3_e6714 | AskReddit | Anyone else notice this plot hole in Fairly Odd Parents? | Okay so in that one episode where Timmy wishes for heat vision and melts his dad's trophy for getting first place in a race, his dad goes crazy and punishes him. So Timmy wishes to go back in time and prevent his dad from winning the race in the first place so he won't be so mad at him.
After preventing his dad from winning the race, he goes Back to the Future and sees it's in complete chaos with his dad as dictator over everything after going crazy from losing the race. So he goes back in time again, but since he's already prevented his dad from racing, he enters the race himself, disguised as his dad.
Upon starting the race, he realizes he's the slowest kid in his class and has no hope of winning. He becomes so mad that he melts another runner's shoes with the heat vision he'd forgotten about. Remembering it, he melts everyone else's shoes and wins the race.
Except in every other episode, the fairy godparents would always get out their huge rule book and say that wishes granted will stop being active during competitions. Why is it okay here? | Timmy goes back in time and impersonates his dad in a race and wins it by melting everyone else's shoes with heat vision he shouldn't be able to use in a competition according to Da Rulez. |
t3_3lmig9 | relationships | I[25M] am not sure if I should let my [25 F] SO loose her job because of bad choices. | So my girlfriend's car went down a few days ago, after I mentioned to her it was probably a good idea she get it checked out because of the weird noise coming from the wheel well. After taking it to her "trustworthy" mechanic she was informed that the cost of repairs would exceed how much she paid for the car. What made things worse, was the fact that this was after she spent $800 on repairs at the same mechanic and after he test drove the car and told her there was nothing wrong.
Why I am upset: I warned her a few months back of two things, the first, never spend more on repairs than the price of the car, and two, never trust chain auto repair shops. She ignored both of my suggestions, and for that reason she now has no car and no means of getting to work (she works the night shift, and public transportation doesn't run that late)
My dilema: Should I let her loose her job? I'm pretty sure she intentionally ignored the sound almost as if it would somehow go away. Also, today I arranged for her to meet with two differents dealerships to look at reasonably priced cars. The first she turned down because they didn't have the car she wanted in mind which was understandable.The second dealership ended up being shotty mafia hangout that sold flipped auction beaters. She then proceeded to fight with me when I explained that there was no point in test driving one of the cars after me because the car was pretty much falling apart. Lastly, I arranged to fix up my parents car so she could get to work and she completely ignored me and complained how the day was a waste. | Girlfriend ignored my effort in trying to solve her problem, now she faces the reality of being unemployed. |
t3_ud5k7 | dating_advice | Am I betraying my friend? | I'm fourteen, male, my friend is the same, and a the girl is 14. I'll spare details, because they're all redditors. Recently, I've become friends with the girl and have been friends with my friend for a long time. The girl seems to like me, and I like her. I was thinking of asking her to a movie tommorow. There is one complication though.
My friend really likesthe girl, and when she turned him down the other day, he got cutting-himself upset. Literally. He had scabs in the shape. I still want to ask her, but I don't want my friend to be upset. What should I do? If I ask her and she says yes, what should I say to my friend If it comes up? | My friend got turned down by the girl I'm getting on well with. |
t3_2zqoix | relationships | I (mid 20's female) am having problems trusting people. | The title pretty much sums it up. The only person I can trust truly is my sister. It's affecting my relationships (both non-romantic and romantic), it's affecting how I view other people, it's affecting my job environment. I can't trust anyone and while I tell myself verbally that I can trust this person, I still don't trust anyone as much as I could. I did have this problem before when I was younger, but I grew out of it, and now it's back in full form and I have no idea how to stop it. It's only those people I'm close to emotionally (it wouldn't make sense if it were strangers or people I'm loosely acquainted with, right?). It makes going to work horrible (I used to enjoy it), and I'm driving myself crazy. Help? | Having problems trusting anyone outside of my sister. And yes, I really like parentheses! |
t3_c8w1v | AskReddit | Fucked my father-in-law('s computer) | Pops got a virus from going to adult websites. I go to help and decide to reinstall windows. I lost my XP disk, so installed Windows 7, but I installed the 32-bit version on a 64-bit processor. It was running like crap, so I thought the integrated graphics were not up to par. After installing a new graphics card, I realized the 32 bit version of W7 was incorrect. I bought W7 64-bit and deleted the partition while installing.
Now, the install jams when the new graphics card is being used. When only the integrated card is onboard and being used, the monitor goes black about 10% through the Windows install. | I fucked my father-in-law's computer and don't know what to do. Can you help me? |
t3_11f3v5 | loseit | Intuitive eating problem? | I'm trying to eat only when hungry and stopping once full, but I find when I do this, I eat about 500 calories a day. Seriously, if I feel hunger, I eat immediately... but I just don't get hungry very often, even if I only eat 100 calories at a time. I thought that the less you ate at a meal, the faster hunger would return, but it doesn't seem like that in my case.
My question is, why don't I have more of an appetite? I thought following your hunger was the BEST way to eat exactly what you need. It doesn't matter if I eat pure carbs or pure fat/protein, I remain satisfied for an entire day off of one small meal. It seems like most people have the opposite problem, which kind of concerns me. Will my hunger perhaps intensify after a week or so?
I really don't like eating when I'm not physically hungry. Food isn't as gratifying, it feels like I'm force-feeding myself, I feel greedy, wasteful, etc. and it usually triggers binges. NB: I spent the last year fighting binge eating disorder and bulimia, so I -really- don't like doing anything triggering.
Additional info: I lost 50lbs (22.5kg) over a year before developing the binge/bulimia thing. No diet or exercise, just eating more mindfully. I developed the eating disorders in Japan (relevant if you know the culture). My weight hasn't changed since then. I'm 5lbs (2.5kg) away from a healthy BMI but 35lbs (16kg) from my goal weight. I still struggle with binge eating and possibly alcoholism/depression. | my appetite went and died somewhere; HALP. |
t3_2y6iga | personalfinance | Upside down on car I hate | Last June I finally bought my dream car-- a Jeep Wrangler. The only problem is I let my boyfriend talk me into getting a manual transmission.
I've always been a very nervous (though safe) driver and ever since getting my Wrangler, I've been terrified of driving. I can get myself to my house, his house, and work just fine, but going anywhere else has me a nervous wreck (despite not being all that bad at it-- drive it every day and haven't stalled in about six months). Frankly, it's just added stress in my life that I don't need at this point.
The Wrangler was originally $17,000 and I put $2,000 down and financed a little over $15,000. I've got about $12,000 left to pay. The trade in value is about $11,000 and I don't have much money to put as a down payment on anything new (maybe $500-$1000. maybe.)
Would trading it in and getting something else completely kill me financially? Is there any way to do that without screwing myself over? I'd like something around the same price range-- a Wrangler around same year and mileage only automatic. Or should I just stick it out for another year or so until I have a little more of it paid off? | Don't like the car I bought in June because it's a manual and it's stressing me out. Owe $12,000 on it-- trade in value around $11,000. Don't have much money to put down. Should I stick it out til it's paid off more or trade it in. |
t3_124tai | AskReddit | So Reddit, I'm an art student in my last year and I'm in need of some help (Go figure)... So i'm asking you to check out my portfolio. | I'm in my last year of Art school, and I may not even be able to finish - seeing as how I still owe them a little bit of money. Also, I'm living on about 4 dollars a month /flex.
**So I've devised a plan. Ask Reddit to check out my art.**
("My Portfolio's" -of course)
process // random sketches.
(most of this is on pinterest)
I'm not asking for handouts. If you're interested or have been looking for someone to make some art for you. Let me know.
I can do portraits.
Gig posters.
Covers.
Illustrations.
Landscapes.
Anything :O
All of these originals are for sale along with prints. (I'd like to sell the landscapes <3)
Hit me up with an e-mail if you'd like to talk a bit about making something/purchasing a piece.
Or if you just want to say 'hey.'
Thanks for the time reddit - hopefully you'll have my back! | I'm poor; buy my art. =] |
t3_j3awq | dogs | My boy won his agility class last night! | Hi Doggit, I just have to brag a little on my 9 month old Aussie Benny who had the fastest time at agility class last night. This is his second set of classes we've done, and after 2.5 months, he's gotten to be pretty awesome :)
I don't think you'll ever be seeing us at any agility trials on TV, but this is an awesome way to spend time with your dog. We both love it, and I was so proud of him last night. I don't think he could have done any better without additional practice.
[Here] is a picture of him from our first class. I don't have any pictures from the most recent class yet (which was held indoors) but I should be getting them soon. | if you have an active dog or one who would enjoy running around to get food, find somewhere that offers agility classes in your area and go for it. It makes for [super happy] dogs! |
t3_2k222m | relationships | What he [24 M] trying to ask me [22 F] out? | So me and this guy have been texting back and forth for a while. He then asks me what my schedule is like for this week and I tell him that I am busy every day except for Saturday evening. I then ask him the same question, and he is working Thursday and Friday, but does not mention whether he is free or not on Saturday, and that was basically it. What the hell?! Is he waiting for me to ask him out? I don't know, I am very confused right now. Why would he ask me if I'm free but leave it at that? | Guy asks me if I'm free but does not actually ask me out. |
t3_l7bkq | AskReddit | Am I overreacting? I don't think I am. Help please! | Stay with me, it's not a short one. So I've had this friend, Michael, since 3rd grade (we are sophomores in college now). And in high school he met another person named Constant, who I've always felt awkward around. Personality clash I guess. I've kept quiet and hung out with him because he was good friends with a lot of my good friends. A couple of months ago, Constant tried to steal a girl away from Michael knowing full well that he liked her a lot. Last Friday, my friend, Michael, got a call from his sister who is 15 and a freshman in high school that Constant was asking her out and telling her not to tell Michael. And that he wanted to kiss her passionately (his words). He's 20 and she's fucking 15! Anyway, Michael told Constant that he knew and that after all of the labs they have together end, that they are done. I live in an apartment with 2 of Constants oldest friends. I told him straight up to not ever come to our apartment while I'm there, but my two roommates don't care if he's there. I know if he comes over I won't be able to keep quiet. I WILL call him a pedophile or sub human shit. This would prob make my roommates awkward around me, and I still see him around at college. Am I overreacting? | My good friend's friend tried to get with my friends 15 year old sister behind his back( and he's 15). I've banned him from our apartment with 2 of his oldest friends who can overlook this. I can't. Am I overreacting? |
t3_xuhzl | relationships | Girlfriend is unbelievably busy.... | My girlfriend and I (both 18, together for 6 months) are leaving for school in just over 2 weeks. She is always incredibly busy and this has not been a recent issue. I have mentioned to her that I feel we should spend more time together and she always says "I'll be sure to make time" but never does. I think the issue is that she has not been in a relationship for a long time (this being her first mature one) and underestimates the time and effort it takes to maintain one. I really do love her and she loves me but If this continues should I break up with her? | She's very busy. We leave for college soon. This issue has been for a long time and she never makes time, should I break up with her? |
t3_1il2jk | relationships | Me [25M] asking out someone I've hungout with a few times [23F] via text message, need advice. | Totally over thinking this entire situation, but definitely little bit of input would put my mind at ease.
There's a girl I've hung out with a few times, though we've never talked on the phone-- all communication has been in person or through text messaging. That being said, it'd be totally awkward to call her out of the blue and I would like to ask her out to a concert on Monday, so I'm relying on text messaging to do so.
Question: How do I phrase it?
Do I layout the fact I have tickets and ask if she's interested? (Hey! Just got 2 tickets to [band name] on Monday. Interested?)
Ask if she's free and then ask? (Hey! What are you up to Monday night? Got 2 tickets to [band name] if you're free)
Ask if she's free and then wait for response to ask out?
(Hey! What are you up to Monday night?)
Or something completely different? | Asking girl on date for Monday night via text, over thinking how to word it. |
t3_20eki5 | loseit | Does society make weight loss harder by focusing on the wrong things? - Discussion | I've been thinking about this for a while, and I wanted to see what others thought about this. Obviously, the obesity epidemic has become a huge (no pun intended) problem in the US, and in the end that comes down to the individual choices people make leading to weight gain. But what I'm wondering is if we as society are making it worse for people by what we focus on for weight loss.
The first thing is this cultural idea that dieting requires some significant change beyond eating less calories. I think a lot of us here would say calorie counting is pretty easy once you've done it for a few days. Staying under budget just takes a bit of mindfulness. But cutting out all carbs, fats, sugar, gluten, whatever this week's trend is, is very hard. I think a lot of people are deterred by thinking they can never eat the things they like again if they want to lose weight, and that's not sustainable obviously.
Then we have exercise. Don't get me wrong, exercising is great! But it can also be hard to motivate yourself to do. I never struggle with wanting to eat over budget, but about half of the time, I don't want to do a workout (I still do them, it just requires more willpower). The thing is though, you don't need to exercise to lose weight, and exercise alone won't override your bad diet. (Another very common misconception I think: I walked an hour every day, why am I gaining weight?) There are so many health benefits you get from exercise, but a lot of the obesity problems are causedby adipokines, which are just due to having a lot of fat tissue. Aka getting rid of the fat without exercising is enough to relieve a good number of problems.
So, I think it comes down to society promoting things that aren't going to be sustainable for a lot of people, and sustainability is soooo important if you are going to stick with something. Anyone else have thoughts on this issue? Disagree with me or have something you'd add? I'd love to hear your thoughts! | Is society exacerbating the obesity epidemic by promoting unsustainable weight loss tactics? Discuss. |
t3_2jxac2 | relationships | My [16 M] parents are threatening to throw me out. What are my legal options and options in general? | I have been caught with marijuana twice in the past two years. The last time was 1 month ago. Because of this my parents are threatening to throw me out or make arrangements for me to go to some military school or some other type of home. We have been going to therapy for the past 4 months. What are my options legally and my options in general if this continues the way it. Do I have any right to sue them or do anything to help myself without becoming their slave practically? My father has threatened to hit me twice and hash hit my older brother before. My father is also ex chief of police. So Reddit, I'm desperate. Please help. What should i do? | getting possibly thrown out. Please help |
t3_1963sg | AskReddit | Reddit, what was your worst childhood memory? | When I was about 10, I had gotten expelled from my school. I was in 5th grade, and my Dad thought a great punishment would be to put me in my room all day, with nothing but a sheet of paper and a pen. He made me right lines. All I got for dinner was bread and water, and occasionally I would get some meat loaf, so i wouldn't starve to death.
This went on for 4 months.
**HOW I GOT EXPELLED**
3 suspensions in my old school = expulsion.
* Suspension #1: Cyber bullied a kid through Facebook
* Suspension #2: Forged Parents signatures on multiple papers.
* Suspenison #3: Cabin fights at the school camp before spring break (multiple kids got suspensions for this.) | I was a child prisoner, fed only bread and water. |
t3_3bgnfn | tifu | TIFU: sister walked in on me fapping | This happened yesterday. I somehow managed to get a bangbros account and as any guy would, began binge fapping at any opportunity given. My room is downstairs but I use my laptop on the desk in the living room right next to my room because that desk wont fit in my room and my brother shares the room with me. The living room door doesn't have a lock so i don't bother closing it all the way and the bathroom downstairs is like right next to the living room. I'm wearing tight sweatpants because I was at the gym earlier and didn't want my pants falling down while I deadlifted. Anyways, I'm explaining all this because everything that could have possibly went wrong, went wrong. As I'm going to town, my sister comes downstairs to "use the bathroom" but she actually goes into the living room to sneak in her boyfriend so he can use the bathroom. Like what the fuck. Anyways, the door to the backyard is conveniently next to my laptop, and as my sweats are tight I cant pull them past my asscheecks and theres literally nothing I can do besides pull my shirt down past my dick, my thighs are exposed. It's fucking obvious im fapping. She's looking into the backyard, doesn't notice what's going on and is looking out the sliding door for her boyfriend. I'm sweating bullets as I'm expecting her to just look to the right and notice. I do a shimmy and try to slide my sweats up but I tied them really tight and I'm mortified. SHE SOMEHOW, DOESN'T NOTICE. She sits on the couch next to me and I turn my chair away from her and ever so slowly lift my pants. SHE LITERALLY DOESN'T NOTICE ME DOING THIS. I got my pants up before he could enter. Her boyfriend comes in and takes a piss. I fucking somehow remained unnoticed. I couldnt even finish after she left I was so done. | was going to town on my dong and my sister happened to walk into my livingroom while I was fapping and didn't notice, even though if she had glanced at me she would have clearly caught me white handed. Also the reason I didnt pull my pants up earlier was because I heard her telling my mom she was using the bathroom downstairs and didn't think she'd walk straight into the living room. |
t3_3l2muq | relationships | 20M trying to figure out 21F | So all through High school I really liked her, but she had a boyfriend so I kept my distance. We became friends and it was great until we graduated and she moved for work. Now she's back a year later, Im pretty sure shes single, and it feels like nothings really changed. The only thing is lately shes been talking about how for years a lot of her guy friends end up wanting to date her, and shes been pointing out things we have in common more and more, enough to be noticeable at least. I don't know, am I reading too much into this or am I just blissfully bias about what I want to think. Would want to ask her out just don't want to look like an asshole. | unsure If girl I like is hinting at something or is just making random conversation about relationships |
t3_1uh0am | relationships | I (22/F) am looking for advice in dealing with subtle abuse by my parents (48/M&F) | Longtime lurker, will try not to ramble on too long.
My siblings (13/F & 19/M) and I (22/F) have always had an incredibly volatile relationship with my parents, and I have always thought of it as "subtle abuse". I say subtle because in the traditional sense, we are well taken care of, not hit, not neglected, and it is not outright malicious, but we are frequently subject to extreme discipline, controlling behavior, stalking, humiliation etc.
I could name many, many specific instances, but it would be a wall of text, so I will just talk about what happened this morning.
My sister is doing poorly in school (8th grade). She has consistently been doing poorly in school, and has been in the cycle of taking away her phone, laptop etc. Nothing wrong with that, however my parents go above and beyond every time, stooping down to her level, screaming in her face, imitating her etc. But today I think it went overboard, as they went onto her Instagram and change her whole profile saying she was a failure failing all of her classes and uploading a photo that said she was grounded for failing so don't try to contact her. Stuff like that. I think that is completely inappropriate as a parent and just plain mean and humiliating. Her grades are no ones business but hers and my parents, and making it public is mean. My sister has been crying in her room and my parents are sitting in the kitchen laughing about it.
Now, I do still live with my parents (live in one of the most expensive areas of the country) but am soon moving out with my boyfriend. I am almost scared to leave my siblings, especially my sister because I really feel she is made a target all of the time. This issue has been brought up an ignored many times. If I dare to say anything or stick up for them, I'm just screamed at. Anyone who has dealt with situations like this please help or give some advice to alleviate the constant negativity in my house. | My parents are controlling and remain so by using scare tactics and humiliation as tools. Just looking for advice to deal with a situation that's been constant since I was born |
t3_51ib2x | jobs | Need help assessing my situation | I just started working at the beginning of August through a recruitment agency in a temp-to-perm role. Just last week, I got called over by my supervisor so that I can talk to her privately on Thursday (we had Friday and Monday off). At first I thought I was going to get fired but it wasn't anywhere near that. My supervisor told me that the agency is billing them far more than what the permanent job is worth if I worked for the company. (In lame man's terms with easy numbers, the agency pays me $5 per year, the company would pay me $8 for the full time position, the agency is billing them for $13). The company budget team is now refusing to pay what the agency is billing and since the agency doesn't get paid, i cant get paid; Initially I'm out of the job. I talked to both the supervisor and assistant director and they both love me and really want time to stay. They told me they tried to hire me permanently, but have to pay a hefty premium to the agency if they do it. My agent said that the agency HR team is working with the company HR team to work something out. He said he doesn't have a time frame, but said "a couple of days hopefully". What should I do? Should I wait till the end of the week to start applying to jobs, do I still have this job or am I officially out? Any opinions would help | Agency is over billing the company by a large amount of what the perm job pays. Company is refusing the pay. Managers love me. What are my options? |
t3_xciy8 | AskReddit | My house is infested with fleas, and my family can't afford to exterminate them. My family, me and my animals are covered with bites, and we're miserable. What can I possibly do? | I'm a sixteen year old kid living with a family that essentially lives paycheck to paycheck. All together, we're six people, and we own five pets (1 dog, 4 cats). A little while back, our dog picked up fleas. At the exact same time, our air conditioning went out in 98 degree heat. Our land lord took her sweet time fixing it, so it took around two and a half weeks to fix. My parents used the heat as an excuse to not take action (which they hardly could, because we could barely afford frontline(etc) to kill the fleas on the dog), so the fleas eventually spread to the cats, and then to the entire house.
Now it is impossible to even take a single step in my house without multiple parasites jumping onto me. I have to take multiple showers/baths everyday to avoid them, and use bug spray at every chance (which hardly works anyway). We won't be able to afford to exterminate them for a long time. What can my family possibly do at this point?
( | My house is infested with fleas and we can't afford to exterminate them. My whole family is miserable and I don't know what I can do. What can I do to solve this problem without spending too much money.) |
t3_1dojik | relationships | I [F18] don't know how to make my dad feel loved. | Ok, so background: my parents got divorced about two years ago, my dad now lives with his father, taking care of him, but also because he can't afford his own place as he only has a part-time job.
I am in my first year of college in my hometown and my dad picks me up from my campus two days every week after he picks up my sister from the local high school. We generally ride home in silence, sometimes there's small talk. He also sometimes asks to come in and hang out after and if we say yes we'll just sit around and watch tv.
My dad asks my sister and I to go to dinner, lunch, movies, whatever, all the time. He also just bought my sister a video game that she didn't want (he was joking around with her about buying it so they could play together, she said no, then he actually bought it).
It's not that I don't love my dad, it's just that we have absolutely nothing in common and I never know what to talk about with him. He is currently in a committed relationship so I know he's not completely alone which makes me feel better, but I know he wants more of a relationship with his daughters that I don't know how to give him. I feel like I'm using him on the rare occasions that we do hang out (he buys us lunch, takes us to movies, we recently went to a football that cost $10/person and he payed for both of us). | My dad wants more of a relationship with my sister and I but I don't know how to do that because we have nothing in common. |
t3_qulob | AskReddit | Just got an awesome job offer across the country and need help deciding if I should take it. (Wordy backstory in comments) | Backstory: I was visiting family on the other side of the country for a couple weeks. While I was there, I was looking at jobs with my sister, and there were 5 office jobs available, I applied for the couple that I was qualified for and forgot about it. A couple days later I was called in for an interview, I went, and then minutes after I left they called me back. They offered me the job on the spot. It's more money than what I make now, in a city that is less expensive than mine, it comes with full benefits, 3 weeks vacation/year and a raise in three months. Also, cost of living in that city are much cheaper than where I live and I have a lot of family there.
There are a few problems with taking it, the first is that I have a son who I would feel bad about taking away from his family here where we live now. But, his dad rarely sees him anyway, and he could still see him on spring break/holidays etc. The other problem is my dad does not want me to move back home and is putting up a pretty big fuss about it. We JUST started having a relationship about a year ago and I'm scared to throw it all away. And the last problem is that I have a GREAT apartment here and if I leave, I'll obviously have to give it up. | Amazing job offer in the city I was born in, lots of money, cheaper living; dad doesn't want me to go, would be taking my son away resulting in less of a relationship with his dad, would have to give up awesome apartment. |
t3_3txkh0 | relationships | Me [23M] with my friend [24F] of 4 years, who I've been in love with, hit a dead-end in our relationship. | I've been in love with this girl for about 4 years, while she always just thought of me as a good friend. We were classmates together in college, and now that we've got jobs, since last year we're both in 2 different cities. I've gone to meet her 2 times in past 10 months.
When I was back from the last trip, she said that she would never be able to reciprocate what I felt for her and that she didn't want to end up hurting me and that she wanted me to move on. I was like ok, and I stopped talking. Because I knew I wasted 4 years of my life on someone I hoped would eventually maybe feel something for me.
Couple of weeks later she texts me that she doesn't want to lose a friend like me. She wants me to talk to her, laugh with her and everything like nothing ever happened.
What do I say to that? I mean I know I was wrong for expecting something that never was, and for staying stuck in a rut for so long. I am afraid that if I stay her friend, I might never be able to get over her. | I have a really close friend I've been in love with for a long time, who recently said she'd never reciprocate what I felt for her. I am trying to move on, but she doesn't want to lose a friend like me. |
t3_muvfx | dogs | Picture request! I'm making a sort of unique dog calendar for a holiday gift. Any picture contribution would be awesome! [x-post from /r/dogpictures] | Ok, here's the low down. My girlfriend and I both really love dogs and have both in the past 1.5 years lost our childhood dogs. Both of our dogs had happy, full lives, but it still sucks, and I thought we could still use a pick-me-up, especially since we won't be able to own another dog for another year at least because of living/work situations. SO! My girlfriend has always thought it was super cute and funny to see that look of shame, "why are you watching me do this, man?" when dogs do their duty (haha, doody). SOOOO! I want to make her a Dogs Pooping 2012 Calendar for a holiday gift!!!
Any pictures that you could put in the comments here would be awesome (more resolution is always a plus)!! We both had big lugs of dogs (her a yellow lab, me a big hound mix from the shelter), and any size dog will do, but the bigger the better! Aaaaaaand hopefully you'll get to see other redditors' dogs pooping in here too! Bonus! | I'm making a calendar for my girlfriend of dogs pooping! Donate a picture of you own dog's shame in the comments! |
t3_2iwq7l | relationships | Me [19F] with my exboyfriend [21M] of 4 years... feeling guilty throwing out stuff he gave me... | So, to start this off him and I broke up around 7-8 months ago. We still talk as friends, I was the one who ended it. I have a boyfriend of almost 7 months now whom I am happy with.
My ex stayed at my place a lot, since he lived outside of Boston and I live in Canada. The visits were every two months and we always spent a lot of time together (Christmas, birthdays, any holiday really).
So over time I have a lot of stuff from him, weither it be items, pictures, etc.
I am having a really difficult time getting rid of the items he gave me. The actual gifts I'm keeping, but the pictures...
I end up feeling like the worst person in the world when I throw a picture out that he gave me from something special he went through (i.e. graduation, school I.D, etc).
I feel like I should mail it back, but that's weird as hell to me.
I honestly don't know what to do or how to handle this. It's such a stupid thing to be confused and upset about but I need advice.
Any would be welcome. | Feel guilty/upset throwing exs pictures, do not know what to do or how to handle it. |
t3_ya1um | AskReddit | Redditors, I'm in a rage. My Grandmother was a victim of elderly abuse. What should I do? | My grandmother was a resident a local nursing home for 1 night. She was there for less than 24 hours. In that time, they gave her too much medication and deprived her of her oxygen mask because she was restless. She has a 20 pound tumor in her stomach, so it's weighing on her organs - including bladder. We informed them she uses the bathroom alot, however after the fifth time overnight, the nurse said to her (and I'm quoting my 91 year old Nana who has a heart of gold) "What's wrong with you, I've already taken you 5 times. You're too heavy to keep lifting. You have to use a bedpan now." SHES ONLY 115 POUNDS! YOU'RE A NURSE! DO YOUR JOB! You have no idea how furious I am. We got her out of there by early afternoon. But what steps do we take now? We're not looking for compensation, just that the right thing is done. My guess is that if this happened to my grandmother, it's happening to someone else's too. | nursing homes suck, how do we get justice. |
t3_ohwnw | AskReddit | Reddit I need help choosing a laptop | Right, so I've found two laptops I quite like at the moment. I'm wanting one for video editing and gaming. Both are a 15.6" display.
**The first one is a new Acer Aspire** (I haven't got the model number sorry) It'll cost me £499 and it's specs are pretty impressive:
500GB Hard Drive
8GB RAM
Intel i5 Quad core processor
But it doesn't have a dedicated graphics card, it uses Intel HD Graphics (which if I'm right in thinking uses the RAM?)
**The second one is the HP Pavilion DV6 with the Beats audio**. It's specs are also pretty good, but this costs £699.
750GB hard drive
6GB RAM
Intel i5 Quad core processor
AMD Radeon HD 6490M graphics card,
1 GB Dedicated Memory | The big difference between them is the price, and I really want to know whether 8GB of RAM and NO dedicated graphics card will equal out against a laptop with 6GB RAM and a 1GB dedicated graphics card? Also, the Beats audio isn't too big a deal to me, I have some Solos anyways. |
t3_2mabqf | tifu | TIFU by eating. | This TIFU happened a many ago, I was probably 8 or 10. I just remembered it today.
My grandparents and a number of other family members live in Texas, and we (my sister and I) enjoy visiting them every summer. One day all my family went out to eat at a restaurant. This restaurant was a steakhouse.
Anyways, we get to the restaurant, and I'm not sure what I want to eat. I'm thinking and thinking, when suddenly I notice that someone had ordered an appetizer sampler platter. It had mozzarella sticks, popcorn chicken, and Wings.
We ordered the rest of our food, and I started to eat the appetizers. I had a few of the mozzarella sticks, and one of the wings, and then i went for the popcorn chicken. My 5 year old cousin did as well.
This is where I fucked up.
I take a bite of the chicken. I chew. Swallow. I say to my aunt nearby, "Hmm, this doesn't really taste very good... Or like chicken"
She looks at me and says, "Oh, that's not chicken."
... "What is this"
"cojones" -she says hysterically laughing
"O_O What are cojones" (My innocent self asks)
"They're bull testicles" she says (All the adults at the table are now laughing at us[us= me and my female cousin])
bull testicles... bull... testicles...
I FUCKING ATE BULL TESTICLES.
And they were disgusting. If they tasted good, it wouldn't have been a TIFU. They were probably the most disgusting fried food I've ever had. (IMO)
My sister was glad I tried them before she did. | I FUCKING ATE BULL TESTICLES AND MY FAMILY LAUGHED AT MY DISGUST. |
t3_4rex77 | relationships | [27 M] having difficulty with my gf [24 F] of 2 years after we bought a dog together | Hi, just thought I'd post here to get some impartial advice since my gf doesn't use Reddit.
I'm in a very L relationship with my gf of 2 years, we moved in together 6 months ago and dreamed of getting a dog to complete our little family. I'm very close with a lovely Asian woman who cares for racing Greyhounds after they have retired and after a few visits we fell in love with a dim little character that we named Carlos.
Everything was fine initially, he was quite timid and shy but gradually as he got more comfortable in his environment he became VERY lazy. Now he sleeps basically all day and night and my gf _insists_ that he sleep in our bed, all he seems to do is kip. Here in lies the problem. I'm very fond of Carlos, we get on great together but I really dislike him sleeping in our bed day and night.
I struggle to get a decent nights sleep with 3 of us sharing a bed so on occasion I have moved him to the kitchen/living area during the night and this really annoys my gf to the point where we will spend the next couple of days arguing. It has also started to affect my performance at work and as the sole bread-winner (I pay for literally everything) I'm worried about potentially losing my job. About a month ago she started taking Carlos to an animal psychiatrist (she believes therapy is the answer to everything) and the added expense isn't helping matters.
To top it all off, our sex life has completely deteriorated. Any time I try to initiate sex in the passed few months she says 'absolutely not' and turns away. I've tried talking to her one-on-one but her attitude towards me has completely changed and she is often SO CHEEKY towards me that I struggle to persist trying.
Please Reddit, if you can offer any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. | GF and I got a dog together shortly after moving in, she insists that he sleeps in our bed and it's causing me and our relationship/finances/sex life problems |
t3_3ud9dq | relationships | How to get [18M] my dad [52M] to see a doctor. | As the oldest sibling and someone who cares a lot about my family, this issue has been bothering for a few years now.
So my father is a very laid back man, especially when it comes to health and medical stuff. He doesn't live an overly unhealthy lifestyle but improvements can definitely be made. At 6'1 and weighing over 250lbs, my dad is on the big and tall side. He takes medication for high blood pressure, but doesn't do much else about his condition and weight. He is also the type of person that tries to ignore/look past certain symptoms and red flags, and tries deal with it on his own, (ie. Avoiding the hospital, just waiting it out, etc.) Like the time he broke his leg after falling down the stairs, and not seeking medical attention until the next day, after arguing with my mom.
Now, what concerns me the most at this point in time, is that there would be more and more risks given his age and weight. When we got a letter from the government reminding my dad to get checked for cancer, (Colon cancer) the family told him about this, he said that he was fine and that there was no hurry. No matter how many times we tell him how important it is to get it checked, or that it would be wayyy too late by the time felt something, my dad would always ignore it, or even make a freaking joke out of it. What worries me even more is that my grandfather (on my dad's side) passed away from cancer, and might run in the family. Even THEN, my dad still doesn't give two shits.
It has been several years since everyone in the family has been telling him about the health risks and symptoms, but he's still not listening. He'd always change the subject, make a joke out of it, or just ignore it. I don't know how to get through him, and his stubbornness is stating to piss me off. What am I supposed to do? How can I get him to actually listen and do something about it? | my again and overweight dad doesn't seem to care much about his health and takes things lightly. Now matter how many times my family and I tell him to go to the clinic and get a checkup done, he'll ignore and forget about it. |
t3_2p5dir | relationships | I [18m] just found out my [17f] friend is hooking up with her [27m] family friend | My friend has been hooking up with this guy for about three months now. According to her he is nothing but a gentleman, kind, extremely respectful, a one in a million kind of guy. He also thinks she's 18 turning 19 instead of 17 turning 18, because she lied about her age to "save his feelings".
She insists she's being safe, that she trusts him because she's known him for years, that he never makes a move without her initiating, etc.
I'm worried, and I don't know if I should be. There's a large part of me that thinks even a 27 year old hooking up with a 20 year old is massively weird, much less a (what he thinks is an) 18 year old. But there's another part of me that wants to trust her judgement.
Anyways, I'd really just appreciate some random feedback. And buddy, if you're for some reason browsing reddit and see this, I did say I was concerned. | 17 year old friend hooking up with 27 year old, I'm concerned and don't know if I should be |
t3_1fdtzb | relationships | (22M) need an unbiased opinion on an argument I had with my girlfriend (22F), am I just being jealous? | Relationship has been fine for the last three or so years,
Going to mention here that I have some jealousy issues that I'm still working on (but getting better)
over the last few months/one year?(not sure) she's been befriending a guy that lives a few houses down her street, another 22M guy, hanging out with him/having drinks etc (thought I'd add in here that she says he has a girlfriend), I've never met the guy however and any jealous feelings I've had I've tried to disregard as being silly.
He moved a few suburbs away with a roommate and now she's saying shes thinking of going over/maybe sleeping over if she wants to at his house because he invited her to come visit/crash if she needs to, I reacted negatively to this and it got into a huge argument about how I didn't trust her and how she just wants to make some friends, I eventually backed down and apologized but it's still gnawing at me a little, am I just being silly? (I'm hoping I am to be honest).
Additional information to be fair, I occasionally(once every 2-4 months) crash at my best friends house with my other best friend one of which is a girl. I have however known them both for approximately 7-10 years each. She says it's the same as this. | girlfriend thinking of crashing at a new male friends house, I am a boyfriend who wants to know if its a jealousy problem |
t3_33bjf4 | offmychest | "If it's too good to be true, it probably is" (Very Mildly NSFW) | Preface: this is my first post on here, sorry if it's not the best! I just needed to tell someone about this as I am a little too embarrassed to tell my friends :/
A couple months ago my car shit the bed and, living in Vermont, I am no stranger to the prospect of hitch-hiking (and doing so with ease and comfort). There I was, thumbs a-blowing- in the breeze, when this GORGEOUS man pulls over. I think to myself OH HAPPY DAY! what a great ride this shall be. The drive to work is about 30 minutes away, which gave us lots of time to talk and we really hit it off! All too soon 30 minutes slipped away and when he dropped me off we exchanged numbers and ended up hanging out after my shift. Later that night I learned he was a chemist, and a truly smart and quirky (and wonderful) character. Looking back, I should have seen the red-flags. You know the old spiel; if it's too good to be true, it usually is yada yada whatever. Well, a couple months in to seeing each other he kept getting very, very interested in using the back door and touching the back door and all things involved with the back door if you know'm'sayin ( I said no every time much to his chagrin). WELL this is where it gets interesting.This morning I had to borrow his computer to write a lab report while he was sleeping in, and you know how Mac's have e-mail reminders up on the top corner of the screen? Well, one popped up and I saw it for long enough to see the words "craigslist" and "BJ" in the same sentence. I tried to ignore it but the curiosity was too much to bear and I went through his emails. As it turns out, just in the last week alone, he had met with over 14 people (mostly male) over craigslist for some casual sex. God.Dammit. Needless to say, I have no intention of speaking with him again. | Met a "perfect" guy hitchhiking... who turned out to be a craigslist sex addict. |
t3_2qz55u | relationships | I (M 17)am having problems with my mom(F 40's) and it is making things worse with everyone around me | It all started yesterday. I went to the doctor's office and I asked him if he recommends any sleepaid meds to help me. He offered some method that I should try before and if not then the sleepaids are a go. We leave and my mom explodes with anger. She says stuff like "estas bien pendejo, mal de la cabeza" (you're a dumbass, you're sick in the head) because I shouldn't be asking those questions. Then she used that as an excuse to go at me more and said I am going to fail in college and life. She then said no one is going to like me. I'm going to die single because I am shit. Just went on with stuff like that. I'm sick of all this. There's more shit she does but I don't want to go into detail. I leave in August for college but it's such a long way from now. I just want to know what to do. She's insane.
Note: she's really religious and I'm an atheist. Adds to the hate. | having major problems with my mom who doesn't listen for shit if I try just talking. She gets angry very easily and yells a lot. Makes me feel less than shit. |
t3_39lv4u | relationships | I[23f] in a ,2month relationship with [26m], am unsure how normal relationship works. | My SO is a sweet guy, he's awesome and I can really see long term potential in the relationship.
He often tells me who he's hanging out with / drinking with. He even mentions people's name that I wouldn't possibly know "I'm hanging out with Jake(ive never met him, never heard of him) and John(same here)."
I feel like while it's unnecessarily, yet it's a extremely sweet thing to do(Or is this normal in a relationship?) To maybe keep me involved in his life while I'm not there.
But through facebook(photos) I found out that there was a girl present when he was hanging out with his friends, he only mentioned the guys. Such as "I'm hanging out with Jake and his friends". Which when finding out...kind of felt weird. And felt like I wish he didn't have this habit of telling me who he's hanging out with..at all.
The question is, I'd like to know..do you or your SO tell you who they're hanging out with or drinking with on that day?
Should I discuss this weird feeling I got with my SO or should I just forget about it because honestly it probably doesn't mean much and he just randomly mentions his friends. (And I really don't want to seem like a clingy controlling jealous girl friend)
Give me your input please! | am I being a insecure little bitch or should I communicate. |
t3_27wkjq | relationships | I (m26) am not ready for marriage but unable to communicate why that is in an amazing relationship with (f20) | I am in a terrific relationship with my SO (f20) we're close to two years strong. We've been living together for a year and tings have gone up and down but we've pulled together. It has made us closer. We're individuals that can communicate effectively except in this one area. She would like to at least get engaged soon. Whereas I have some reservations but unable to put a label as to what these might be. So I am turning to reddit for help as to how I can communicate what these hold ups are and what they might be.
We have discussed marriage for a bit. Sorting our problems. I do feel like this girl is the one. But marriage seems like a big deal to me and I think I have a fear of rushing into it but there might be more. I worry that we might not be strong enough or that we are too young. I know she is the woman that completes me. I think I have a hard time grasping that I am afraid. All I really need is a way to communicate to my partner that I don't feel ready and have her accept that. If people throw ideas out I can reply quickly if that works for me.
I am looking for constructive criticism instead of the reddit mantra of "you're young, break up, hit the gym." | SO (20) wants to get married soon with our amazing relationship but I am unsure. |
t3_4qv0vm | relationships | Me [30/F] with my now-ex boyfriend [45/M] cohabitating during breakup. Miserable. | I'm [30/F] going through a breakup while cohabitating. It is not going well.
My boyfriend [45/M] broke up with me over a week ago. I'm devastated. I moved in with him 4 months ago, as we were planning on getting married and purchasing a house soon. We'd been looking at properties up until a week before the breakup conversation.
He said the past two months he had fallen out of love with me, and now I need to move out. Living together isn't working for him. He says it's not about another woman, but I have my suspicions (based on some weird things that happened that he couldn't explain).
He hadn't been having sex with me for the past month, amongst other warnings of trouble, so I knew something was up. He blamed it on weight gain, stress at work and poor diet. He asked me to give him more space and alone time, so I tried to be home less and hang out on my own at home more. I've ended up alone in my room with the door shut every night without even speaking to him.
Even though there were huge warning signs, I never would have believed this sweet man I love so much could treat me like this. I sleep in the bedroom, he sleeps on the couch, and we stay in our respective areas without much conversation between us.
Today I decided to 'un-friend' and do the whole 9 yards on Facebook, and he flipped out. I got passive aggressive texts from him, such as "OK, I guess that's how it is now."
How it is NOW? This is the first text I've received from him in weeks. We don't talk, we are not friends anymore.
I'm heartbroken, depressed, and now I have to find an apartment I can afford on my own in one of the most expensive cities in the US.
Reddit, how do I get through the next month without going crazy? Is there anything I can say to him to get him to at least be civil during the next month, and why is he being such a dick? | Got dumped while cohabitating, it sucks. How do I keep from losing it? |
t3_2owjv5 | relationships | I [22M] Really suck at french kissing my GF [22F] apparently. Help? | So I've never really been in a relationship, and my GF has been in quite a few actual serious ones. Well she likes to French Kiss, but she doesn't seem too keen on teaching me. She's told me before I've put too much tongue in. Well then I barely put any and she said it was like I was flicking her tongue and she didnt like it. She says not to go side to side.
Last night I tried to go on top or under her tongue, but kept hitting her teeth by accident which she really doesn't like. She has been under a lot of stress/sleep deprived (finals week) and slapped my back (not that it hurt or anything but the fact that she hit me spoke volumes to me). Then I was clearly uninterested in even kissing her or anything past that until she did all the work and made it up to me. (After she blew me and we had sex I told her, I will overlook it once cause she's so stressed about finals and sleep deprived, but she will NEVER do that again).
But the whole thing that started that was french kissing. She says besides that I don't kiss bad otherwise. But now I almost don't even want to try to learn how to kiss cause all it does is cause frustration and kill the mood. I tried practicing on my hand, videos, hell even in the mirror making sure I'm not sticking my tongue out too far. But at this point I'm about ready to give up on it so we don't have a repeat of last night | Suck at french kissing, even though I've tried to practice, and it always causes frustration and kills the mood. Any advice/help? |
t3_1kd92n | relationships | I know SO is reading my texts/fb/email - how to approach? | I [25M] have been with SO [23F] for 3 years.
Earlier in the year she confronted me about some text messages, admitting that she knew my phone password and had been checking them for a couple of months. After talking this through , I saw how the conversation could be misinterpreted but explained the innocent reality. After this I realized how she had ruined a surprise trip I had planned for us and we had already taken, which she owned up to knowing about before and kept quiet the whole time. She apologized for violating my trust.
Fast forward to the present day, where I left her to use my computer while I went out for a while. Days later I wanted to check my history for something and noticed she had been through my Facebook conversations.
This clearly needs to be discussed further, but I am not sure how to approach the conversation. How do I increase the trust so she feels she doesn't have to do this? Should I flat out explain how wrong this is? What is the best way to broach this topic?
Please offer your advice for this situation... | SO was reading messages, admitted it. Months later still doing it, how do I address this? |
t3_ziyxo | relationship_advice | [18/m] Met a guy (18/m) a few days ago, not sure what's going on in our relationship. | We met on Grindr, not the most romantic of places, he's incredibly good looking and studying at a med school very very close to my school. We chatted for a couple of days then agreed to meet up (not a date, just a casual outing, according to him) and had a great time. We got dinner, walked around for a bit, and ended up in my dorm, just chatting for awhile.
Eventually the conversation got sexual and we ended up messing around (kissing, oral, farthest I've gone) but after he came he seemed sort of upset because he wanted to stop hooking up and I told him it was fine and we don't have to do it again. It's a long story after that but we've been talking a lot and he said he still enjoyed it but wishes it didn't come so early.
Texting last night he said that he doesn't think he deserves a relationship and I spend awhile trying to comfort him, etc. to no avail. He said he's okay with hanging out but doesn't want exclusivity and was reluctant talking about sex on the horizon. Conversation was intense for awhile but we ended up just dropping it and going back to casual small talk. We've been chatting today and it was fine but then we had [this] weird little exchange. I don't know why he was being such a jerk because he's been so nice so far and was nice in person.
Any explanation for this? Any idea what I should do here? I have a problem not cutting it off with assholes for fear of never finding a guy again and I don't know if this is what's happening here. Thanks! | Guy I met is sometimes an asshole and won't be open about what he wants but I don't know what to do. |
t3_1h6v7l | legaladvice | Bank trying to charge me for back date insurance for a loan? | Hello, I'm in Boise Idaho,
I have a question. So my bank in which I got a loan through for my motorcycle(2001 GSXR600) is trying to charge me with back date insurance. I don't currently have insurance on the bike right now, so they were going to charge me for insurance through them which is fine whatever, but they are trying to charge me insurance all the way back from when I bought the bike. Is that even possible for them to do that since even if I did get in a crash they wouldnt be able to cover it since I didn't have insurance.
My question is can they back date charge me for the insurance since even if I did get a crash it wouldn't of helped? | Bank is trying to charge me for the past on insurance. |
t3_2fuy76 | relationships | (22 m) As a lonely guy, how should I figure out if I really like someone instead of just enjoying their companionship? | This situation has happened to me before. I was quite lonely as a college freshman and got back together with my high school flame (at the time a HS junior).
However this relationship was predicated on my loneliness and when I didn't feel lonely I didn't care about her much at all. After a short second honeymoon we broke up again.
Now, after not dating for years and only having one drunken makeout in the meantime, I'm hooking up with a girl I met on tinder (F, 20, three dates over twelve days). I lost my v-card to her last week and we have pleasant conversation/physics. This leads me to think I like her, but there are some problems present.
Other than having relatively similar musical tastes and senses of humor, we don't really have much in common.
She's an art student while I'm engineering.
She's indoorsy while I'm outdoorsy.
She doesn't like physical activity while I'm rabid.
I'm worried that after the honeymoon inevitably dries up we won't have anything to bond over and I won't really like her because I only connected with her out of loneliness. We aren't declared exclusive yet, but things seem to be headed in that direction with multiple long dates planned for the future.
Are my concerns well founded? After we learn all about each other I don't know if we'll have much to talk about or do together. To maintain the relationship will we have to find/create substantial common interests?
I don't get a lot of girls so it's hard to accept that I just need to "find another fish." | Lonely guy not sure if he really likes girl he's hooking up with or just relieving loneliness. Not many common intrests. |
t3_2k24mk | tifu | TIFU by staying in school | So, the other day I was in my English class and we has split off into groups. Now it's worth noting that the desks in my school look exactly like [this.] So, anyway, to better be able to face the people in my group, I sat on the table portion of my desk with my feet on the chair.
Now, if you examine the picture closely, you'll see that the table part has no supports. So, everything was chugging along just fine, when all of a sudden, I lift my feet up for a second, and I have that feeling. You know that feeling, when you're too far past the point of no return and you just have to let time slow down around you as you fall. Now, I don't mind stumbling and falling forward. Falling backward, however, is a totally different beast. So, I'm reeling backward, and I hit my head and suddenly all I can see is a white light. When it goes away, I'm on the ground. So, I muster up the biggest shit-eating grin I can and pop right back up, assuring everyone that I'm fine as I ask to be excused to the nurse with an ever-growing bump on the back of my head.
I get back to class about an hour later after resting in the nurse's office and proving that I'm not concussed. I'm told that (A) I hit my head in three different places on two different desks and (B) that, while I was gone, my teacher had been laughing and telling the whole class that, sometimes, it takes a special kind of stupid in order to balance out being smart, (I'm a grade-A student.)
I am now nursing a golf-ball sized lump on my head. I can't lie down in any other position but my side, and it hurts to walk too quickly because it jostles my head.
P.S. It should also be said that I spilled my water bottle not one, not two, but three times in that very same period. | Went full retard |
t3_39tb4i | jobs | Considering a career change from Finance to IT, have some questions | So here's the deal. I messed up bad in college. I majored in political science. When you get done laughing, hear me out. I have friends who majored in computer science who are making twice what I make, and I'm sick of feeling like I'm falling behind with no hope of catching up. So I want to make a career switch to IT.
Currently I work for an international bank in their mortgage department. Most of my day is spent making decisions on issues escalated to me by co-workers and our vendor. Thankfully, I rarely have to interact with the customers themselves (I left the call center a little under a year ago for this position). The pay is pathetic (~13 an hour) and I don't plan on living with my parents until I'm 30.
I use Excel every day (unfortunately I have very little experience in things people care about with Excel: VLookups, etc.), along with a mainframe system that allows us to actually make limited changes to customer's mortgage accounts. So I have some experience dealing with IT (who doesn't?) but no experience in any actual IT jobs. When I talk to my friends in IT I realize I know next to nothing about actual IT. I'm basically dead set on spending some money to better my career. I was thinking about getting a certification, but could use whatever advice you have to offer.
1) What certification(s) should I get? Should I get them through Microsoft (which seems to have the most structured training system that is also recognized by employers)?
2) My friends mostly seem to talk about programming languages like Java, SQL, Python, and Cobol. What languages are in-demand now, that will also be in-demand for the foreseeable future?
3) As you may have guessed from my job description above, I'm big on problem solving and critical thinking. Any job that allows me to use those skills is something I'd be extremely excited to do, and it sounds like IT has plenty of opportunities that would allow me to do that.
4) I'm fine with taking an entry level position to start with. I pretty much assume I have to without any real experience or degree. Given this, do you think I have even a slim chance of making this work? | Political science major (I know...), with no real experience in IT, want to make a career change... what's the smartest way to go about it? I have a budget, and I'd like it not to exceed $3-400 a month over the next few months. Any help you can offer would be very much appreciated. |
t3_u95zp | relationship_advice | Rush into "love" but soon end up bored, is this common? | Ok relationship advice, I'll try to keep this as concise as possible in the hopes that more people read and possibly respond.
I've had two long term relationships so far in my life, I the beginning they're wonderful, we're both so happy and the talk of marriage, kids growing old together all comes up straight away and at the time it's really what I want and I'm so happy.
But then somewhere down the line something changes and, for lack of a better term I get bored or disinterested and it becoms a chore, wether its a year down the line of 3 years it has now happened twice.
I honestly don't know what's wrong, am I just shit at maintaining a relationship?cdo I crave the new exciteing phase? Do I have commitment issues? Have i just changed? Or have they changed? Or is it normal? Is it something that everyone goes through?
I still love them, but i get frustrated and annoyed so easily and just don't want to be there anymore. So relationship_advice, can I get your opinions? | fall in love, happy as lorry but then get bored and want out - what's going on? |
t3_31jl95 | relationships | Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] how do I make him comfortable with sex? | My boyfriend now was my best friend in high school, so we have known each other for about 5 years. We reconnected over this last winter break. We have only been dating for about 3 months and its about half long distance because he goes to school 7 hours away.
Anyway, when he was a virgin until he was 18/19 so he claims he is far more "inexperienced" than I am. He didnt have his first kiss until he went away to college. He is a little shy and awkward about sex, and he claims it is because of the fact he hasnt had many sexual partners. It is hard to have conversations about our sex life which is especially important in my eyes when we will not see each other half of the year.
I personally think it is because he has seen some really messed up treatment of girls when he was in high school. Some of his friends were less than nice to very inebriated girls at parties etc in high school I dont want to go into detail but he had to witness some of that first hand.
I have tried expressing to him that I want him to feel comfortable talking about sex with me and its okay for him to be shy about it. Overall I just dont know what I can do as our relationship progresses to make him feel comfortable about being a sexual being! I just want him to feel like he can express himself to me comfortably. | My boyfriend is a shy lil cutie how can I make him feel comfortable about sex |
t3_39s1c1 | relationships | I [29F] need to break it off with coworker [26M], but how? | Sorry I'm not so eloquent and sorry about the throwaway. I'm certain this person I'm talking about reads reddit.
I think I messed up. I met this guy at work a few months ago and we hit it off. I thought it would be okay if we dated, but it's really, really not working out. I don't know how to communicate how it's not working out to him without being a bitch about it, so I want to end it. Unfortunately, I have to continue working with him. It's already really weird. How do I break this off without leaving the company? | Coworker relationship not working out, want to bail, but need to continue working with this person. It's already awkward. How do I get out? |
t3_2c7gp5 | relationships | Under what circumstances do people get back together with their exes? | This is more of a question of curiosity really. I'm a [19F] who recently broke up with someone, I know the general rule is that no one should ever get back together with an ex (and I can assure you I don't want to), but has anyone ever had any experience (either by themselves, or heard of friends or family that did it) of successfully getting back together with an ex? As in something along the lines of no contact for like a year and having tried to date around with other people without much satisfaction, also having done a good amount of growing up in that timespan of being apart. | Do people ever get back together after some time apart? |
t3_lga5l | relationships | My boyfriend doesn't take me out? | First thing is first: Me and my boyfriend have a really great relationship, and this is really the only thing I have to complain over.
Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years. We're both 20yo university students with jobs. I recently got my own apartment with a good friend of mine, and our relationship has gone up a level because of it. However, since I got the apartment he hasn't taken me out on a date. Not a single one.
We'll spend our time together watching TV series' (Like Community, Big Bang, Doctor Who), playing video games, having sex or just talking. I like all of this, but I am a very social / outgoing person, who really likes going out and DOING things. He's numerously mentioned doing things for months, but hasn't followed up. He's not short on money (he pays his tuition through student loans, lives at home and doesn't have a car), my apartment is close to our downtown centre / smack dab in the middle of the university community, within WALKING distance of many restaurants, venues and bars.
To make this clear, I have taken HIM places on dates. I planned laser tag, an outing to a gaming event, and have taken him out to school events.
Basically, I just feel very cooped up and like a couch potato unless I explicitly plan all of my own dates. Not going anywhere seems to make our relationship very dull. However, it seems like the alternative would be me planning EVERYTHING all the time, and just having him along for the ride, paying for half to most of it, and that is just unappealing to me.
How do I get him to take the initiative and take us out somewhere? I really don't want much. A dinner once a month at the local BBQ house or something pub-like (I love pub food), maybe some dancing, a walk in our local town gardens; simple and inexpensive things I've mentioned multiple times. | Boyfriend doesn't take me on dates. FOR MONTHS. I have taken HIM on dates. Don't want anything elaborate; inexpensive things like pub dinners and days in the park would be awesome. How to get him to take initiative? |
t3_h5v6b | AskReddit | How can I get back at my upstairs neighbor? | So recently we moved into an apartment. Our apartment is on the second floor, but there is a small fenced in terrace type area outside of our window. The problem is the ground of it is right next to the bottom of our window. Our neighbor above us (or someone in their apartment) likes to randomly piss out of their window. Now I've never had a problem with people doing things like this when they're drunk in some setting like a house where someone else is in the bathroom; but because there is an obvious "ground level" with windows all around it plus it's warm out and people have their windows open, it's a bit annoying. What should we do? | dumb neighbor keeps pissing out of window and it's splashing into our apartment (it's too hot to close the window) what should we do to fuck with him? |
t3_13lf03 | relationship_advice | 21 [F] Am I mad to meet up with him? | I've been in a two year relationship with this man. (22 M)
We've had a really bad time lately, 6/7 weeks of none stop fighting, breaking up and getting back together constantly.
I've recently had my eyes opened and realise I've been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. I always knew, I just didn't want to admit it because I was in love with him. Family and friends had noticed it, including his.
I have got to the point now where enough is enough, I know I deserve better. Even though I still love him and it hurts, I think it's best if I walk away.
However today he sent a message asking to meet me for an hour to talk. I told him no, I don't want to because I'll just end up being insulted and verbally abused all over again. He said thats not why he wants to talk, he has stuff he wants to stay. He said he's 110% willing to make the relationship work and that he loves me more than anything and he'll keep trying.
I agreed to meet him for one hour tomorrow but I don't think I believe him. I can't trust him anymore.
Do people like this change? Do you think he's willing to treat me better?
I felt really confident earlier on in walking away and making a new life for myself, but now I just feel really down again. I love him, should I give him a chance? | broke up with abusive boyfriend, he got in contact saying he wants to meet up and make things right, should I trust him? |
t3_4efhj9 | Advice | Feeling indignant yet cautious | I'm 18, just about to graduate high school and was accepted recently by several US universities. I attend a private high school abroad, which can be labeled as a college-preparatory school I guess.
Last week, one of my old teachers (it's been three years since I was in her class) accused me of lying about something related to an extracurricular activity I was involved in. After a long day, I didn't take it too well and I basically got up and (for the first time) told her that she was wrong.
Well, she told me after school that she wanted me to write a note apologizing for 'being disrespectful," after which she would consider forgetting the whole thing.
I guess I'm here because I'm really not sure if I should just bite my tongue and write that note, or if I can just ignore her. She did say that it could become a disciplinary matter, but the thing is I'm pretty well respected by the school administrators, and frankly I'm not even sure if the "consequences" are real. I would have just gone quietly without a fight a year ago, but it's crazy to me that a single teacher can be such a big problem for me.
So what do you think? Can she do harm to my school record and even result in universities retracting my acceptance? Should I refuse to apologize for some trumped-up accusation? Also I'm curious how long exactly this will hang over my head. | Teacher threatens get me in trouble. Call her bluff? |
t3_ylpxz | relationships | How do I (F18) initiate a relationship with an friend(M20)? | This may sound petty but I would really appreciate some help with this matter.
I've cared for a specific individual (lets called him ''N'') for almost a year now. We've been very close friends sharing deep secrets and we've always relished each others company. I want to see if we can take it to the next level and perhaps be intimate with each other.
I just don't know how to initiate that conversation.
I thought of asking if N was seeing anyone (even though I know he isn't) Is that the best way to do it?
I'm just concerned if this could sully our relationship if I handle it wrong. Although a deeper determination driven by my feelings begs me to take the risk.
I want to be with this him, and on occasion N has alluded to his feelings. I feel he is also confused on how to confront them.
Some general information if this changes how I should approach him.
1: We've known each other for almost 3 years and have been inseparable since then.
2: He hasn't been in a relationship for over half a year and I haven't been in one for just under two years.
3: We used to flirt a lot (fairly innocently) however after some mutual friends made an embarrassing comment over it I haven't dared to in fear of spooking him.
4: N has just turned twenty and I have just turned eighteen. (Yes he is aware of the age gap)
Any advice? | I have long time friend that I want to get jiggy with but I don't know how ): |
t3_17f2o4 | relationships | I caught my girlfriend [18] cheating on me [23], need some advice. | Background: Started off as fuck buddies, and did that dance for about 8 months, things got serious around November, and started dating in December. Jan 7 she went out and went to play beer pong at a friends, which I was invited to but didn't go. Next day I checked her phone and read some texts about between her and a guy who went, that were pretty revealing that they hooked up but didn't have sex. She said they just kissed, and I believe that. She lied at first though even after I read the messages, and now is asking for forgiveness. I gave it to her, but now have serious trust-issues. The next week we went out to a lounge. She was talking to this butch-lesbian and they went outside for a bit. When I came out the lesbian was on her and she pushed her off. They then went to the bathroom for about 5 minutes. We then left and I confronted her about that, and she told me they kissed as well. I was never opposed to her hooking up with girls, as I know she is straight, but it was the whole sneaking thing that bothered me. What are your thoughts on this? | Startred off as fuck-buddies, started dating for 2 weeks, cheated on me, then next week pulled some sneaky business with a lesbian. |
t3_1x7zlo | relationships | It seems like my (20f) boyfriend (21m) hates my family. | It seems as though every time a member of my family or friends invites my boyfriend and I to do anything, my boyfriend doesn't want to go. We've been dating for three years, and I have hung out with his family many times, sometimes even without my boyfriend there.
My boyfriend has been invited to holidays with my family every year since we began dating, but has never attended. I've gone to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and birthday parties with my boyfriends family, and his friends.
Tonight, my dad invited me to go out with him to supper, and told me that my boyfriend could come along, so I invited him. He immediately became cold, when previously he kept asking me what I wanted to do tonight. Now, he told me that he's "taking a nap", and I am feeling so frustrated. When I don't feel like hanging out with his family or friends, he accuses me of not liking them, but nothing could be further from the truth.
I just don't know what to do, as every time I bring this up he shuts down. I can count the number of times he has gone out with me and my family/friends on one hand, and I'm getting tired of it. Any suggestions or insight? | My boyfriend might hate my family and I'm sick of it. |
t3_453twg | relationships | Me [35 M] with takeout counter girl [??/F] - how to find out her age without being creepy? | There's a girl that I interact with about three times a week at a local "health food" restaurant that I grab lunch from. Over the past few months, we've built up a great rapport to the point where I want to ask her out. I know that this is usually a no-no, but the level of flirting and "signs" that she kicks me every time I see her is unambiguous, including running up and hugging me occasionally when I come in, calling me by affectionate nicknames ("boo," "cutie," etc.), and making/sustaining inside jokes between us. All signs are good and all systems are go.
But here's the problem - I don't actually know how old she is, and she looks young. For a bit more context, I've always been way more drawn to petite/waifish/young-looking women. Think Audrey Hepburn, Audrey Tautou, Carey Mulligan, and so on. Additionally, I look really young for my age - I'm frequently mistaken for a college student by people who don't know me. Counter girl looks young enough that she could even be a high schooler - yikes. That said, the last woman I seriously dated was in her thirties and looked even younger than this girl.
I'd like to figure out how old counter girl is before going further - I'm worried that she might be way younger than I'm expecting, and I'm worried that I might be way older than she thinks. I've tried to head this off by working in jokes about "My mortgage..." or talking about remembering the song playing overhead "from high school," but this hasn't done the trick to either get her to let on with some "tells" of her own. How can I, without being weird or creepy or just coming right out and asking, figure out if we're remotely in the same/appropriate range? | Want to ask out counter girl at restaurant but worried that she might be way too young. How can I figure this out without being creepy? |
t3_4lwspl | relationships | I [22/F] want to reconnect with some family members [late 20s] that I haven't spoken to in forever, but I'm not sure how to approach them. | My cousin died last week, and I spent some time at home to be with his more immediate family, attend the visitation, etc. While I was home, I got a chance to talk to some of my more extended family for the first time in over 10 years.
I've been on a career-focused power trip for the past year or so, and spending time grieving with my family has really reset my priorities. I'd like to get back in touch with my other cousins, who I haven't really spoken to since we were little kids. I'm not sure how to do this in an organic way, since I live far from them. I also worry that it might seem fake or odd, immediately following a tragedy.
They're great folks and I'd really like to get to know them as adults now that we're older, I'm just at a loss for the best way to go about it. | Haven't spoken to distant cousins in a long time, want to get back in touch, how do? |
t3_3g3zt3 | relationships | How do I(18F) let my friend(21M) know I don't want him in my car without offending him? | My primary friend group consists of four people, including myself and my boyfriend. Out of the four of us, only one person who I will refer to as Donnie, has his license as well as a car. Since he is the only one who drives in our friend group, he is always picking is up and taking us places. I'm currently working on buying myself a car, and my friends assume that i'll start driving us around more since Donnie has for so long. However, I have one problem with this.
My other friend, Tyler, has very poor hygiene. My friend Donnie, my boyfriend and I have tried to get him to take care of himself better but he never does. He's a great guy, and I don't want to give up my best friend but frankly, he's disgusting. He rarely showers,and he never brushes his teeth. He wears the same clothes for days at a time and i'm not sure if he even uses deodorant. I'm use to it and it doesn't really bother me when we hang out, but because of this, I don't want him in my car at all. He leaves a noticeable stench wherever he goes and I don't want my new car to smell like a putrified gym sock.
How do I tell him nicely that I don't want him riding in my car when he refuses to take care of his personal hygiene? Just one shower won't fix his stench, and I know there's no way he's going to completely clean himself up for good. I enjoy spending time with him, but I refuse to let him ruin my car with his bodily odor. | I don't want my friend to ride in my new car because he has very poor hygiene. How do I break the news without breaking up the friendship? |
t3_1dgqpx | relationships | I[F19] am feeling more like his[M26] fuck buddy than his girlfriend :/ | I (f19) have been with my bf(M26) for about 5 months. We have had our ups and downs but we have worked things out in our own way.
Lately I have been feeling more and more like a part-time girlfriend.
We both go to the same college and we both live on campus, so distance isn't the issue. I completely understand that we are both here to learn, so school comes first and that space is a good thing in a relationship, but this is starting to feel less like a relationship and more like friends with benefits.
I never hear from him until after 9 and not just on the days we have class, the same goes for the weekend too. I know his schedule and on his longest day he only has class 2-6 and I don't have class until 4 Monday thru Thursday, so it's not like the problem is not having the time during the day.
I will text him first and I won't get a response 90% of the time. Then when he calls later, around 9pm, he just says that he was sleeping or that he didn't hear his phone go off. Also he never calls when he says he will call and when I call him out on it, again his excuse is that he fell asleep
We have never been on a date..ever. That has never really bothered me because I don't really like going out, but even when I try to get him to go down to the dinning hall to grab lunch before class or dinner after class he always has an excuse not to go.
I do spend the night with him on the weekends. We normally meet up at 9pm and I end up leaving at 10am the next morning so that I can go to work.
I guess I just feel more like his fuck buddy than his girlfriend and it's really starting to get to me. Any advice on to handle this?? Am I just overreacting and overanalyzing things?? | I never see my bf until after 9pm and we both live on the same campus, feeling more like a fuck buddy than his girlfriend. |
t3_3rl0qr | relationship_advice | Clairissa (Me, MTF age 19) looking to date a girl (19-20, f) who potentially would want sex... Gender Identity vs Sex crisis | so, I have been really into this girl that a met a few weeks ago but I have been having issues on whether I should or should not date/try to be more to her. you see, I have a few issues in regards to this
I am a trans woman, aka I do have a dick but Identify, dress and act very feminine... this has lead to some issues around me having sex. I dont like sexual contact at the moment (yes it can be wonderfully stimulating and I love the feeling, but my body's physical reaction disgusts me to the point that I can't enjoy it), but she seems very into having sex and that sort of stuff. I have been mulling over trying to have sex, but at this point I would still be forcing myself to do so, which would not end great. | due to my Gender Identity and my natural body, I do not want sex, but a potential partner will most likely want sex. how do I work around this... anything and everything is appreciated... |
t3_1gpoe2 | Advice | My best friend's dad is abusive, how can I help him? | I need help giving him good advice! My best friend's dad is verbally, emotionally, and (when he drinks) physically abusive. My friend is nearly 18 and wants to get out from the horrible situation, but he's afraid to leave his mom and little brother (about 5 years old) alone to take the brunt of his dad. Normally, he protects his mom and little brother, so without him there, some truly terrible things could happen to them. However, if he stays, who knows what could happen to him. He's asked me for advice, but I'm not sure how to help. I know he needs to get out, but I also know he would never forgive himself for leaving his little brother and mom in such a situation. What should I tell him to do? | Friend's dad is abusive, but he can't leave because he needs to protect his little brother and mom from said abuse, what should I advise him to do? |
t3_11ykld | relationships | Brother [m/20] gets all the child support money because he has a joint account with mom [50/f]. What can I do to make sure it's divided evenly? | Hi. I realize this might be a grey category and I *might* be a greedy, villain in this story. But to make a long story short, when I was younger, I opened up an account by myself [22/f] and my brother [20/m] opened up a joint account with my mom. Since, the child support checks get addressed to my mom, only he can deposit it into his account because my mom's name is on his account. Right now he has 10x the amount I have in my account due to child support checks a lone and it's simply ridiculously absurdly unfair. My family also consists of two little siblings and I think child support is until my little sister reaches 21. She's 18. She doesn't even have an account and she's in college. My sister and I borrow money from mom on a small basis if I need anything. I told my mom it's not fair that my brother gets all the money from child support and that it's supposed to be for all of us. She just says "I have no time to write up checks and if I do deposit the money in my account, the court thinks I'm taking it for myself". This is a load of bull. What should/can I do to make sure the money is divided evenly among all of us? | Mom gives my brother all the child support money and we don't get anything. He has no reason to have all the money either. I've been living with my mom since birth now and mostly, I want some part of that money because I want to move out of home asap and it can support part of my move. |
t3_48qgxj | relationship_advice | Need some analysis on a date I [33/M] had the other night with a [28/F] | Hi Reddit,
Not heart broken or anything, but I would appreciate some 3rd party analysis regarding a date I had on Sunday night...I really can't figure out what happened.
Started chatting up a 28/F online this past weekend. We texted most of the day Saturday. Made plans to meet up for a drink on Sunday night. She warns me that she is VERY shy and very nervous, so she doesn't talk a lot. That's fine. I'm gabby.
We meet up on date. Things seem to be going well. She's smiling and laughing. Following the date, she wants to go back to my place to watch the Walking Dead.
We watch the show..one thing leads to another, we start kissing, talking, etc. Next thing you know, we're in the bedroom. We finish in there, she tells me how much fun she had, and wants to make plans to see each other on Wednesday night.
Monday rolls around. No message from her at all. No biggie. I'm not clingy. Tuesday comes around; I confirm Wednesday's plan. She gives me short, one word answers. I write back: Low interest level. I then receive this reply stating that "I'm the kind of guy that every girl wants, but I'm just not ready for this. I thought I was, but I wasn't." My reply back was: I'm not looking for anything serious. Her response back was "Look, I really can't come. I have severe anxiety".
Any speculation here? Aside from the fact that people are weird? | Went on what I had thought was a good date, had sex, made plans to go out again, get wigged out on the day after. |
t3_iy39b | AskReddit | I can literally move anywhere at a moment's notice, but too much research has left me a bit lost. Where should I move to? | I left my job to go back to graduate school but was not offered any financial aid other than loans, and the location simply didn't validate the debt.
I'm now trying to figure out my next move (pun-intended). I want to go back to school for computer engineering. At this point, I think it would be wise to knock out some pre-reqs at a community college and then transfer into a neighboring university.
I'm turning to you for some fresh ideas because I simply cannot visit every city I would consider going to. I have some qualities I am searching for but I want to leave them off here for now because I want to approach your advice with as open of a mind as possible. Although if you're curious I would be happy to PM you about them. The only thing I will say is a definite must is that, I have lived my whole live in rural areas and would like to experience city life.
Thank you for any help. I feel bad for posting such a self-centered question in the r/askreddit arena. If there is a better place for this post I would be happy to take move it. As I said, I am just overwhelmed from all the research I have done and need a fresh perspective. | I am looking for a fresh start in a new place, what are your ideas? |
t3_20154k | relationship_advice | [23/M] Trying to quit this "love at first sight" business | Hello, /r/relationship_advice. I'm 23/M/Los Angeles, and truly you are doing [God] work.
I have a habit of fixating on the girl I'm interested in. Not in a creeper follow-her-home kind of way, but I have hard time stopping myself from letting my imagination get carried away before I can establish that normal "I kinda like you" feeling between being friends and dating. I see myself going on vacations with her, cuddling watching Netflix, waking up next to her. I don't mean to do this -- I'm hoping I'm just one of those hopeless romantics I've heard so much about, but it makes it hard to act natural around girls I'm interested in.
I've recently made a number of changes to my life in terms of mannerisms and image and I feel like more confident than I have in my life and I think that's helping, but I can't shake the feeling that I can try as hard as I'd like and I'm always going to have those wedding bells in my head. I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy, I haven't even had sex since my last girlfriend broke up with me last April. It's not a "Eww, gross" thing, I just think I'd be way too involved in it from the get go and probably freak the girl out.
I want to be able to meet girls, hang out with girls, do fun stuff with girls, all without feeling like "I hope I'm being interesting enough" and "I wonder if I'm the only one expecting a kiss." I meticulously tailor my texts to her so that I don't say the wrong thing, and I can never text her like I'd text anyone else that I wanted to talk to or meet up with. I'd like to think I'm funny, personable, attractive enough. How do I stop worrying like everything I do or say could cause me to lose my future wife? | Any advice for someone who feels like every girl is the next girl of his dreams? |
t3_4b1qz0 | relationships | My SO (21F) and I (20M) are fighting because she can't trust me, and I get too defensive. | I want to preface this by saying, the trust issues are my fault. I have a history of being unfaithful in relationships, and am breaking the habit, by communicating, and being honest about everything that I can. In all of my past relationships, I was younger and stupid (still am), and looked for sex in other places aside from my SO, but now I am trying to mature and become the kind of person that is deserved in a relationship.
We have been together officially for about 2 months now. The relationship is young, but I have known her for the past 6 years, being very close friends. I was up front and honest with her about my history, because I felt she deserved to know it. She, however, feels that she can't trust me. When she believes that I have been unfaithful or lied in some way, she becomes accusatory and claims that I am reverting to my old ways. I do everything I can to be honest, and open with her. We just had the worst fight we've had yet, because of her not trusting my answers to her questions.
She told me that she wishes that I would say that I understand where she is coming from and not be defensive about being accused. This is difficult for me, however, because I become defensive, instinctively, and try to keep her from believing the wrong thing, simply because I don't want her to think of me as that kind of person. I know what she wants me to do, but I'm not sure how to break my habit of being defensive and exacerbating the problem.
Any advice would be amazing. | My SO doesn't trust me as far as she can throw me, and I need help not being defensive in response. |
Subsets and Splits