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|---|---|---|---|---|---|
301 | It's cool to be nice to people | 0 | null | null | 0 |
302 | How do you get rid of a fat ghost? Exorcise it. | 1 | 2.65 | 0 | 0.5 |
303 | Between 4-6 hours in the make up chair every day with these geniuses. Thank you Bill Corso and all who worked so hard on this transformation ย ย ย | 0 | null | null | 0 |
304 | 10 Guys, always make sure shes happy first! Cause when she's happy, youll be happy. | 0 | null | null | 0.25 |
305 | Are you willing to force the powers that be to put the resources back into the black community? That's your challenge. naesm2016 | 0 | null | null | 0 |
306 | In the end, people will judge you anyway, so don't live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.' | 0 | null | null | 0 |
307 | " You're on the other side. As the skyline splits in two. I'm miles away from seeing you." - Ed Sheeran. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
308 | I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better. That shows a lack of ambition to me. It's no wonder they're paid less. | 1 | 1.67 | 0 | 2.8 |
309 | I don't like American spellings: I don't like color. I don't like neighbor. And I really don't like colored neighbors. | 1 | 1.76 | 0 | 3.75 |
310 | I got down on one knee in the middle of a busy restaurant and pulled out the ring. The whole place was in tears! 'Marry me... and I'll put it back in the grenade.' | 1 | 2.45 | 0 | 0.65 |
311 | I was going to visit Bangkok... but then I said Phuket. ROFL | 1 | 2.55 | 1 | 0.8 |
312 | Getting better with girls and relationships is always tough at first and anything worth having is worth working for. Stay the course. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
313 | What do you call the argument between two vegans? A plant-based beef. | 1 | 2.35 | 0 | 0.25 |
314 | Being single is a sign that you're strong enough to wait on what you deserve. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
315 | What do you call a constipated detective? No shit, Sherlock. | 1 | 2.75 | 0 | 0.15 |
316 | Who you are when you're alone, is a better indication than who you are when you're in public | 0 | null | null | 0 |
317 | "Never underestimate the power of a big heart." - Piglet | 0 | null | null | 0 |
318 | What do you do when you see a space man? Park your car, man. | 1 | 1.71 | 1 | 0 |
319 | Nebraska designated Kool-Aid as the official state soft drink in 1998. | 0 | null | null | 0.15 |
320 | What does a dildo and a selfie stick have in common? They both have a cunt at the other end | 1 | 2.3 | 1 | 2.85 |
321 | ๐ธ: Henry Redcliffe ๐ | 0 | null | null | 0 |
322 | It's only the fifth inning but both the Astros and the Dodgers just left early to beat the traffic. | 1 | 1.94 | 0 | 0 |
323 | Welcome to your forties. Your eyebrows are now bushy enough you can see them without using a mirror. | 1 | 2.06 | 1 | 0.15 |
324 | I got my wife something special for our Anniversary. She looked after my Downs Syndrome cousin while I went to the pub with my mates. | 1 | 1.89 | 1 | 3.85 |
325 | Serious question: when did the Dark Web and the normal one switch places? | 1 | 1.76 | 0 | 0 |
326 | I am all about Deadtome 2 | 0 | null | null | 0.25 |
327 | The only bathroom law I'm interested in is one that bans loud sighing. | 1 | 1.78 | 0 | 0.45 |
328 | To the young death is nothing but a rumor, but to the old it's a promise they've been expecting | 0 | null | null | 0.4 |
329 | My Wife is refusing to fry any food and is insisting on eating healthier. She is turning into a Kitchen Nazi. She keeps sticking everything in the oven. | 1 | 1.61 | 0 | 2.65 |
330 | Farting in a packed elevator... Is wrong on so many levels. | 1 | 2.82 | 1 | 0.1 |
331 | Have you traveled internationally? Where was your most memorable visit?Auntie Red Tweet Tea | 0 | null | null | 0 |
332 | On this previous episode Stephan Erdman and I talked about approaching women during the day. You'll learn why daytime is the best time to approach, how to reframe your associations with cold approaching and how to start a conversation by aligning with what she's already thinking. | 0 | null | null | 0.4 |
333 | Use pure Aloe Vera gel as a pretreatment before shampoo to help in relieving itching and dandruff dandruff hair | 0 | null | null | 0.05 |
334 | Okay...here we go!!! Showtime. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
335 | "Reality is nothing like we hope. The reality is at the end of the day, more often than not, turned inside out and upside down." | 0 | null | null | 0 |
336 | Except for my tendency to screech at flying sparks, I would have made an excellent blacksmith. | 1 | 2.47 | 1 | 0 |
337 | [when someone compliments me] Me: I'm not sure how to respond to the reverse ball busting that is happening right now. | 1 | 2.06 | 1 | 0.2 |
338 | me: [posing cute for a picture] mugshot photographer: i said stop it | 1 | 3 | 0 | 0 |
339 | Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE | 1 | 2.15 | 1 | 0 |
340 | My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally. | 1 | 2.85 | 1 | 0.15 |
341 | "I know you can't see this 'cause you're in it, but you can't help her now. You'll only make it worse. Walk away. Leave her to mend." | 0 | null | null | 0 |
342 | What do you call a redhead with a yeast infection? Gingerbread | 1 | 1.84 | 1 | 1.65 |
343 | Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT | 1 | 2.25 | 1 | 0.2 |
344 | What do you call a Muslim Flying an airplane A pilot | 1 | 1.69 | 1 | 1.8 |
345 | Lung cancer is the leading cancer killer across racial and ethnic groups, but there is a 35% higher rate in black men | 0 | null | null | 0.25 |
346 | Remember the conversation doesn't stop here. We having to keep talking about Mental Health and breaking the stigma. saving US | 0 | null | null | 0 |
347 | I once had a friend who was addicted to drinking break fluid.. But he said he could stop whenever he wanted! | 1 | 2.65 | 1 | 0.05 |
348 | A baby's laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear. Unless it's 3 am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby. | 1 | 3.1 | 1 | 0 |
349 | Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots. | 1 | 2.2 | 0 | 1.6 |
350 | Did you hear about the Leper going for the masturbation world record? Eventually he pulled it off! | 1 | 2.05 | 1 | 1.3 |
351 | Go to my kitchen! I understand Vi. Queen Sugar | 0 | null | null | 0 |
352 | What happened to the blind circumcisor? He got the sack. | 1 | 2.3 | 0 | 0.65 |
353 | The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine's Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die. | 1 | 2.7 | 0 | 0.5 |
354 | What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable? putting them back in the wheelchair | 1 | 2.6 | 1 | 3.7 |
355 | The Second World War ended in 1945. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
356 | "For the most part we still have the same problems we had we when we were 15. No matter how much we grow older, we're still stumbling." | 0 | null | null | 0 |
357 | If jews had a planet I would call it Jewpiter | 1 | 2.42 | 1 | 1.25 |
358 | Stephen King has a son named Joe. I'm not joking, but he is. | 1 | 2.1 | 1 | 0 |
359 | In 2013 nearly 1/2 of all deaths in black males age 16-24 were due to homicide - Dr. Reese at Morehouse Med. chp m summit | 0 | null | null | 0.15 |
360 | Choosing teams in real life is nothing like it was in gym class. Being 1st pick can be terrifying and being chosen last isn't the worst thing. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
361 | [wife in labor] *i press play on cassette {Ice Cube - You Can Do It} Wife:WHAT THE HELL Me: sorry hun *ff to {SaltNPeppa - Push It} | 1 | 2.45 | 1 | 0.25 |
362 | "Don't you know all night I've been waiting for a girl like you to come around?' - Stole My Heart. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
363 | The main reason I can't get ahead in life is because the system is set up against people like me who are unmotivated and lazy | 1 | 2.69 | 0 | 0.25 |
364 | Only 10 companies control almost every large food and beverage brand in the world. Nestle, PepsiCo, Coca-Cola, Unilever, Danone, General Mills, Kellogg's, Mars, Associated British Foods, and Mondelez. | 0 | null | null | 0.15 |
365 | ๐ธ Affordable. Great style should not break the bank. ๐ฟ Where possible, the line was created using responsible methods and materials, because we love our Mother. I have some exciting news to share about this in particular, so stay tuned! Now Genx Kohls | 0 | null | null | 0.25 |
366 | I like jokes about the eyes. The cornea the better. | 1 | 2.65 | 1 | 0 |
367 | What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain. | 1 | 2.42 | 1 | 0 |
368 | me: i don't think these drugs are working dog: me neither me: well at least that genie made you able to talk all those years ago | 1 | 1.95 | 1 | 0 |
369 | Before going to the hairdressers my wife asked me "What cut do you think would make me more attractive" "A fucking power cut".... was apparently was the wrong answer! | 1 | 1.25 | 1 | 0.55 |
370 | I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It's a nice reminder of what I did all year. | 1 | 2.95 | 1 | 0 |
371 | Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants". | 1 | 2.61 | 1 | 0 |
372 | Which country has the fastest growing capitol? Ireland. It's Dublin every year | 1 | 2.47 | 0 | 0 |
373 | Midnight Sky? Best Miley song ever? | 0 | null | null | 0 |
374 | Dad: What's a lion and a witch doing in your wardrobe Me: it's Narnia Business | 1 | 3.3 | 1 | 0 |
375 | How do you know when you're drowning in milk? When it's pasteurise. | 1 | 2.89 | 0 | 0 |
376 | her: if you make one more joke about millennials having to rent things, i'm leaving you me: idk i'm not buying it | 1 | 2.6 | 1 | 0.45 |
377 | Rolled my first joint last night. Fuck, my ankle hurts this morning | 1 | 2.95 | 1 | 0.35 |
378 | Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital? In the ICU | 1 | 2.8 | 0 | 0.3 |
379 | Women Boycott Twitter | 0 | null | null | 0 |
380 | What type of wife always knows where her husband is? A widow | 1 | 2.85 | 1 | 0.7 |
381 | They should have never given you girls fake eyelashes. This chick just blinked and it sounded like a flock of pigeons took off. | 1 | 1.6 | 0 | 0.7 |
382 | Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my cock! | 1 | 1.67 | 0 | 3.45 |
383 | My white hot take is that I love the Star Wars movies but I like the mandalorian more. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
384 | Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you'll look wearing a new shirt after you've been decapitated. | 1 | 2.32 | 1 | 0.7 |
385 | What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired | 1 | 2.35 | 1 | 1 |
386 | Do you ever finish a book and think - DAMN. And then that's all you can say because you're speechless trying to process everything. Thank you, Delia Owens for 'Where the Crawdads Sing' | 0 | null | null | 0 |
387 | Lonely and awkward people are waiting to talk to you on Twitter right now | 1 | 2.42 | 1 | 0.4 |
388 | How many Mexicans does it take to pave a driveway? Six, if you slice them thin enough. | 1 | 1.63 | 0 | 2.9 |
389 | ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel! | 1 | 2.1 | 1 | 2.2 |
390 | This video conversation is not to be taken as medical advice and it is for informational purposes only. If you or someone you know has mental symptoms that are distressing or causing ailment then please seek professional help from a local licensed provider or emergency room. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
391 | "But every time I tell her that I want more, she closes the door.' - She's Not Afraid. | 0 | null | null | 0.15 |
392 | My Christian friend told me he doesn't believe in gay marriage. He said there should be no such thing as a happy marriage. | 1 | 2.39 | 0 | 1.65 |
393 | What did the bee say to his wife? No on knows. It's a Mister Bee. | 1 | 1.65 | 0 | 0 |
394 | Okay...here we go!!! Supernatura I SPN Family Live Tweeting | 0 | null | null | 0 |
395 | "Just cause you 2 always see my mistakes... love that line Queen Sugar | 0 | null | null | 0 |
396 | Compared to white youth, Blk youth w/no prior arrests and the same crime are 6x more likely to be incarcerated. - Prof Waldman chp m summit | 0 | null | null | 0.2 |
397 | What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady? But we'll never know, because he can't stand up? | 1 | 2.42 | 1 | 1.5 |
398 | When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable. | 0 | null | null | 0 |
399 | teacher: alright today we have a speaker to talk about why drugs are bad me: [rollerblades through the door but i'm so high i run straight into the wall] | 1 | 2.11 | 0 | 0.55 |
400 | This is an unbelievable statistic: 18% of all statistics are falsely inflated 106% of the time. | 1 | 2.3 | 1 | 0 |