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moony 9 yeah is it bcoz kal penn is a visiting lecturer somewhere n cant be on the show anymore im gon na miss him

polkadotskirt i m getting my card in two week and it s a solo iirc threadless com is already out of the question

i have another meeting with my counsellor tomorrow and imma probably get those result on the depression anxiety and social anxiety test questionairres i did so we ll see how that go lol

the majority of society mix up depression with feeling sorrow or immense grief however we must understand that the sense of sadness is completely different from a mental illness rooted in depression http t co bfshs dmnc

wa looking for this usually i go to bed st but today my wife is sleeping so i will go to km it wa about the time to do it

tomatosalsa hope you aren t referring to me say hello to your new stalker lol

lovemeagan how i ms the snippet hun wts it of may i ask i wan na hear

i am engaged to muppet orlando and i just realised oh my god i cant marry justin timberlake

awww my whitestrips are not staying on

i open to every experience that life offer emotion feeling sadness confusion happiness excitement depression lowest point of life challenge change adventure artistic feel dream desire knowledge new people new culture innovation open mindedness

no rain please

i ve got such a lot at the moment doubt i m going to get chance to book time off with the family this easter hol s

so i ve had anxiety almost my entire life and it really impact my day to day functionality i recently got dumbed by someone i thought wa my soulmate there reason is because of my anxiety they though i wa manipulating them and lying to them it made me defensive and defend position i didn t believe but i keep having a panic attack over both losing them and never finding someone again so to my question i have time where i m hyper focused on one thing and that one thing will make me anxious every day for a month or more right now it s the breakup previously it s been about dying or about issue regarding sex ha anyone had this where everyday they have this anxiety and nothing can stop the constant thought about one subject it feel like i can think of nothing else

i hate what happened i thought i could be happy even just for a moment it make everything else so much worse and it couldn t have happened at a worse time

depression 0

drinking a nuun lemon amp lime electrolyte tab drink it s not sweet enough

there is stage of grief denial anger bargaining depression and acceptance

theekween depression anxiety loss of a loved one heart break thelmasherbs

erickaaa im at workkkk im freezing too i need a mass hug from you can i call u night babe xxx

heidimontag lol i kant believe cam got beat upp sooo embarasssiiiin

vishal ud yeah got no choice am not to study am to reach class on time for the paper hows eco treating you

coyoteontherun bet i oh wait mac no prolly not

fragilemuse the book is awesome there are some other great work in there too couldn t afford to buy it today tho

since i can remember a a kid i had problem with anxiety it is not that i can not hide it except tremor but sometimes it is too tough and overwhelming whole my life i used to be compared to others and rejected at first instance of any kind of trouble it troubled me a lot because of bullying body shaming physical abuse even i developt chronic disease and had suicidal thought because of it the worst one wa rejection by the close one who said nice thing about me and thought otherwise my spirit in a way kept me feeling better because i made myself go against anything even if it is that stressful and i am hyperactive i know i am strong willed on one side but there is huge unsettlment on other side which is very hard sometimes to control i can have 0 bpm doing just nothing the worst thing actually are my thought and overthinking every single decision that i ever made i am thinking about going this time to have a talk because i do not know how much i can take more and when will my will break at some point even tho i make myself do thing to feel better

had a groupwork assignment from my university and my best co worker are my anxiety and depression

stanning him ha added joy to my life he s not a tool to fantasize in your arm he s not a play thing to go crazy over he s an artist you like him because his art is adding a new flavor to your time his song mean something to me my depression wa understood and respected in

naughtyhaughty i had on my page for sooooo long until it got deleted sad day in history

danielledeleasa http twitpic com y pe i hate b allergic i want a puppy soo bad that i ve already thought some cool name

it s so boring

man today is going sooooo slowly today

i m not writing this in a negative way what is your point having a point make the difference i think between your life you need to know why you are doing something before you do it

luckyrivera and it wa a great song too

about the fact that you need to put your sex life at risk temporarily or sometimes permanently r pssd in order to feel mentally stable i hope one day they can make an antidepressant for anxiety and depression that doe not cause sexual side effect it would be a true life saver for me it suck when you value both that you need to really outweigh the pro and con tldr buspar suck

eliteforce i have been told by friend that constantly circle the globe that the flight from the uk to downunder is the worst ever

i ve been struggling with an eating disorder for five year now it ha stolen those year from me crippled me from doing thing i love due to my low body weight made me unable to think rationally and study diligently my family are exhausted mum especially sleeping beside me because she s terrified i ll die alone in my sleep it make my heart rot thinking about the hour they ve spent worrying about me or the time and money flushed down the toilet finding me treatment i always disappoint them the mental health team i ve been going to have been more harm than good mum tried to send me to them a early a she could after spotting my illness they did nothing to prevent it from spiraling out of control which it shortly did i had a useless councillor who would stare at me in silence for an hour every week once she broke it to ask if i drank chocolate milk pretty self explanatory considering i had anorexia my parent and i left each session in tear after politely asking if we could swap councillor the team began bullying my mum they thought we were attacking the councillor i wa seeing this meant they refused to offer me a bed at a residential care and threatened to stop paying for my weekly doctor visit unless i disengaged in seeing a private therapist whom i wa making progress with today i found out my mum s plea to put me into residential care ha been accepted i m scared shitless what worry me most is how much they ll fatten me up i ve read somewhere patient are only released once they ve restored of healthy weight however i m also aware i ll be alone with sick and possibly more malnourished kid than myself five hour away from home i lost it when i heard the news screaming and cry my eye out at my mum who should never deserve to be treated like that she ha done everything she can to keep me alive both her and my younger sister are so sick of me my sister hardly ever speaks to me when she doe it s usually to yell at me for being an idiot and retarded once she even told me she wa embarrassed to go out in public with that me and wished i died of cancer honestly i wish so too especially when i remember how close we used to be i went to my mum after dinner to ask for some support she told me i wa so selfish for continuing to engage in a disordered lifestyle and then taunted me when i said i couldn t drink an additional supplement formula i ve pushed those i love away from me i m so alone and lost i m praying to god i get sick and die because then they wouldn t think i wa doing it for attention or being selfish i m so sorry for the rant but i just don t know what to do

i m have aspect of social anxiety and notice it largely when talking with people i view a smart and they start bringing up some complex idea a they are explaining it i often go through this cycle of oh no they re explaining something complicated you better pay attention or they ll find out your dumb then of course i ve zoned out for a few second now playing catch up and i either nod along praying they think im following or if i m feeling brave ask them to repeat there s a major imposter syndrome component i know but i m just wondering if anyone else struggle with this kind of thing ha any recommendation

my xbox a finally given up the fight

hello all lately i have been fighting with my anxiety after having fought in a relationship i m still holding pain in my chest and i always wake up with anxiety also i always cry during the day and before going to sleep i m living with my boyfriend and i don t want him to be sad like me amp x 00b could you guy give me some advice to help me heal myself

why do most video i play skip and jump

emperoremil yup i m at work i m on midshift na e

i never had illusion of grandeur growing up i had a pretty low bar for what itd take to make me happy

hello i age have been feeling like i m going crazy these past month after i got my first panic attack i been having all kind of symptom like not feeling my hand before the panic attack but now i been getting disoriented feeling like im like a camera stuck in my head looking at mirror and not feeling properly like myself if i look to the side of me i get scared even yesterday night before sleeping i had a moment that my brain thought i wa doing something and i actually wa believing that i wa doing it for split second been feeling like my heart is dropping a lot my brain skip moment and this all concern me is this all anxiety

carlyw haha i cried i guess he did

shes been saying nasty comment about my body since i wa like they used to tell me i needed to stop eating and stuff like that snd it been destroying my body image i feel like no one will ever love me if im not unhealthily skinny i starved myself for a good while like year ago and lost a lot of weight i then hot depressed a hell and gained it all again she still say some nasty comment last night she said of course it not good that you were starvinh yourself but it mustve been so nice to find clothes that fit right dont you miss that i just want her to think im pretty and the kind of daughter she want

i just want to be left alone i wish people would stop reaching out i just need alone time to heal i don t share that i have depression with my family or friend so that make it weirder they probably think i m rude but regardless i wish i would be left alone

my heart ha been broken

currently i m under and life is hell i have ptsd i wa sexually assaulted at my mom didn t feed me when i didn t do all my homework every day didn t oh and ofc ma hit me when i cried and gaslight me to believe my dad wa actually the abusive one she wa also anti vax and flat earth right when the ptsd started to get better life decided naaaaah i like you in pain so during covid i masked and baisicly hid in my apartment like a bunker i caught covid so you might say so what well guess the duck what turn out i had a dormant gene that cause lupus and covid sparked it and now mom traumatized me so that i never asked for help so now you have lupus literally causing organ failure and i m not going to the hospital my god i wish i died and ducking ofc i lived but not without permanent pain and needing harsh medicine for the rest of my life don t forget about school im at my dad now but guess what he care more about my grade than my physical and mental health so when my grade tanked he yell and guilted me into working harder and i m in the gifted program so i recive a workload nearly x my grade level and now lupus is in the story meaning i can t do school well anymore i have no social life due to being in an enriched class nobody doe anything but work so no friend in fact i got bullied and shoved context if i fall i can t get up due to lupus me around so no suppor there i wa already suicidal before the lupus and now i m in constant agony mentally and physicaly oi i m lesbian and my family is half homophobic and half racist my only friend just us me to get sympathy point for taking care of me nobody even care that every few second it feel like 00 knife are stabbing me that s not hyperbole i am in that much pain that i can not sleep 9 pain make it hard to sleep and no sleep make the pain worse then i get stressed about my grade and then i sleep le and the pain get worse 0 i m just a burden on my family lupus is a very hard condition to live with and it s even harder on dad wallet all i do is just cost him more money my dad yell at me to stop faking when i m having a flash back mom come back electric boogaloo nobody care about how i feel all i do is work work work all day even now i had to lie to dad that i m working in my room to write this my sister fat shame me my dad tell me his grandma had it worse holocaust survivor my nena guilt me into saying i m fine and doing more all dad care about are grade my brother is never there my friend only care about themselves and say they have it worse i just want the pain to stop please i just want it to end i m in constant pain my life is hell and i m in so much pain breathing hurt and there is nothing the doctor can do

can t belive it we re home so sleepy hr today in round rock tx http loopt u getn w

mark mulligan exactly that wa the core of my concept for virgin just a shame the money ran out before we could realise it

depression cause feeling of sadness and or a loss of interest in activity you once enjoyed it can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problem and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home

had a blast at the getty villa but hate that she s had a sore throat all day it s just getting worse too

hey everyone im currently taking wellbutrin and buspirone buspar for depression and anxiety they re both atypical med because i am afraid of the side effect of ssri like loss of libido just so happens that both the med im on currently are supposed to help with libido counteract negative sexual side effect of ssri the thing is i do have a high libido but my anxiety is off the chart and im still pretty depressed psychiatrist want to put me on lexapro along with sticking with my current med i know it would very likely help with depression anxiety but im still worried about the side effect my question i guess is if you have a high libido to begin with but anxiety and intrusive ruminating thought is the main problem what are the odds that lexapro wouldn t negatively impact my libido at all maybe even increase it because it lower my anxiety and depression especially given that my current med are supposed to help with that thanks for reading

annemarike oh no owies when will that happen

fardachev reasonablemangh telefootball but we were winning thing it wa just imaginary depression on part of the football they got ole a manager and what did he do worse than moyes

a known now i am m and identify a unlabeled and that s great i used to identify a bisexual but now identify a unlabeled since i feel more comfortable with it straight to the point is that i m scared of how my parent will think of me in the future and how i will tell them my sexuality reason are is that i have a gf and i want everyone around me to see that i m straight but they won t anymore and they will see me a gay because in the future my gf will most likely become trans and switch to being a guy i like guy and girl but don t like the label bisexual idk why so that s why i identify a unlabeled so i will be seen gay to my parent and i live in a catholic family so i m nervous how my future will be and it curl my stomach to think about they said they would accept me if i wa gay but i told my mom i wa straight and her reaction wa oh thank god and now i think she could of been lying idk that reaction make me nervous for the future i m just trying to live a a kid now and enjoy the moment while i could

rain ruined the malaysian gp not much fun neither any money from it

for the last five to seven year at least i ve always figured that once my parent were gone it would be my time i can t bring myself to do that to them however the resentment toward myself and my entire existence have manifested into something that is extremely hard to control i m not going to get into specific but that is just how i feel i guess my main curiosity is if there s anyone else who s still around solely because the thought of their death impacting their family would crush them that s the only thing going for me this day and age i hate every moment and every interaction even though i constantly try to convince myself it s good for me countless time i ve tried failed and never seemed to fit in i m just done i hate everything unfortunately even though i try to love i love my family although it s just too much i ve been hurt and ignored to the point i ve convinced myself no one give a fuck which is probably true nobody doe maybe someone is in the same boat i ve tried to be the most optimistic person i can but i ve been failed so many time i struggle to even grasp for a reason why

there is just something wrong with stupid vista i hate it

for some reason i have a strong urge to draw illustration for novel cover

i am wondering why my lovely wife doesn t check or respond to my tweet

theekween heart break trauma anxiety depression pain of losing your loved one thelmasherbs

i m and i feel like my life is completely pointless i struggle with ocd and most of the time it consumes my every waking thought i go to therapy but somehow i never end up doing the homework and i m not making a much progress a i should be i go to my local community college even though i do really well in my class it doesn t feel like an accomplishment i originally got into a good university but dropped out very quickly due to poor mental health now a lot of my previous friend have actually graduated with degree from year university while i m still kind of stuck i can t drive and i don t have a friend group i have one close friend and a few acquaintance but i struggle with making new close friend because i am extremely socially anxious i used to have more friend but i ve burned most of those bridge looking at my life i don t really see much to live for i feel disconnected from everyone else in society and i can t escape my anxiety every stride i make seems to be temporary and i am so tired of having to struggle through every day i don t really have a point i guess i m just venting i honestly don t know if anyone can do anything for me i know i need to do the work myself it just feel pointless

while hungover and puking in the shower i would often congratulate myself for being witty at a party the previous night wasn t it so funny when i yelled who care about the planet anyway while i puked into the recycling people laughed for year before my first drink i hated myself for being socially inept i hate being shy when i drink i m not shy after eight year of heavy drinking i began to accept that what i wa feeling wa social anxiety and it wa not going away after another two year i began to accept that i had developed a new problem while trying to overcome anxiety another two year i finally quit drinking on my rd day sober i admitted to myself that i hate the person i am when i drink i ve spent 0 year hating the person i am when i m sober so where doe this leave me now day 0 of my sobriety wa friendsgiving sara made bourbon sweet potato that tasted too strongly of bourbon i always preferred rye whiskey i spent a lot of that night sucking a fruit flavored vape pen the vice i took up in lieu of drinking on our way home tolemy apologized for getting too drunk but i didn t mind he remembers better than i do all the time i got too drunk

dadi iyal and you ll get familiar with twitter pretty soon i m not coming back this summer so that mean i dont even see you then

i can t handle people talking to me however they want anymore im over it fuck it

it s 0am i ve been awake for nearly hour

haha not even yo i just didn t know how to do that thang to you on twitter haha

hey there feel good to talk to people who just a me suffer depression i never talked about it much on the internet though one of my best buddy who is a psychiatrist my parent and some other people know about it it s not many and i feel it s better this way but at least i can talk about it here a i am anonymous on the internet i hope anyways for me it s been many year that i am in a severe depression mine ha developed through a chain of various dumb decision i made that lead me to the place i m at now thing i can t change now can t simply make forgotten since the wheel of time keep spinning it s really interesting though a a 9 year old me would have never believed to suffer severe depression year later though it started many year ago back a a 9 year old i just graduated from school successfully and had every possibility like the world wa open to me a luxury many people sadly don t have and i wa dumb enough to not see clearly ahead of me thinking about what i wanted from life or where i would love to end up now i know and thinking back my 9 year old self should have known it s not really hard to figure out and i would tell my 9 year old self to think about it and keep chasing his dream especially since there wa so much time for it the path i walked though wa a pretty dark one nothing criminal nothing that would at first glance appear a particularly dark but i managed to scare away many people that in retrospect would have been great buddy friend and even girlfriend relationship like the old saying say you are your own worst enemy it s true it really is i have experienced it myself a far a i know there are two kind of depression depression that is genetically biologically caused and depression that is the product of bad experience and decision you made let s call it a reactive depression for me a you can imagine it wa the second and i could punch myself for it a what i did in all these previous year wa almost a textbook example of what not to do bad decision the worst part is that i have this mental image of an alternate reality where i didn t decide the way i did where i wa smarter and while i know it s a mental image it doesn t feel that way the worst thing is it s a devil chain a bad experience lead to me feeling worse while some people learn to hide their depression and keep smiling and joking in front of others just so that others won t realize how you truely feel i don t have that gift a i am usually in a bad mood and are perceived a a very unfriendly person by others which again lead to social alienation which make my depression even worse it s gotten really worse the last few year interestingly after coming back from being homeless and living on the street for half a year to a point where i don t want to live anymore where i want to forget

9 0 s boxing in the 9 0 s wa affected by one of the biggest economic struggle in the history of the united state the depression era because of the suffering american economy many boxer were offered lower amount of money causing them to only box for passion http t co id y o

want to cry

i want diana f it look great

the house is one big mess everything is crammed in my bedroom while they do up the other room

mrbigglesrox hey emily you lie meanie

attack of the hayfever noooo

doing homework

do anybody experience a sharp pain in your chest area almost feel like pin and needle feeling is this anxiety i always feel like anxiety when my chest feel tight but this go round i don t have tightness in my chest it s more a needle pain i wa wondering is this anxiety

kimmyawesome ohhhh that suck i love the summer set

i feel like wanting to die why do i not have friend i feel soo empty lonely i mean i do have a lot of people i talk to on a daily basis but for some reason i feel the need to always have someone almost all the time with me like if i stay alone for hour i feel lonely it is weird i just wish to be happy i don t want to kill myself

paul pogba man utd midfielder experienced depression under jose mourinho bbc sport http t co lqiuvbtd n

i m f i ve been bullied throughout my entire school career i wa always the gifted kid until i wa about and started to feel the burn out but i persisted with the gifted class and now i m absolutely burnt out i wa always the friend that everyone went to when they needed something but nobody wa ever available when i needed help i ve always lived for others and never lived for myself and i m tired of it i don t even know what i want in life anymore i m always shut down for my idea i wa molested by a family member for year from the age 0 and since then have been raped time each a separate occasion and person i ve made multiple attempt on my life in the past and used to self harm i ve been clean for a little over a year but the urge are so strong my most recent attempt wa in august 0 and wa an overdose on metoprolol it wa about am and i wa otp with a friend and told him that i wanted to die he told me if you re at peace with that decision then you do what you think is best for you i however don t think that you should do it but i know i can t stop you and i proceeded to down bottle of metoprolol i waited about minute until i could finally feel everything shutting down and woke my younger brother up and told him what i did he called 9 and woke my parent and younger sister up my younger brother watched a the paramedic put me in the ambulance and had to watch me flatline a they were flooding my body with med to keep me awake i got to the hospital and my mom didn t even bother to show up for another hour she stayed with me for a while before she had to go to work and then my dad who abused me my entire life stayed with me and did nothing but complain about me and say that i wa nothing but a coward who wanted to take the easy way out my dad got into it with hospital staff bc he had to leave and nobody could stay with me so i had to leave against medical advice one of my older brother made the hour drive in hour to come down and make sure that i wa safe after my younger brother called him and told him what happened i wa put into a outpatient program afterwards and it helped a lot for a while but after about a month of being out of it i wanted to die again since then i lost one of my older brother and it s been difficult to deal with that and my own problem internally i ve never wanted to kill myself more than i do now i have a plan and everything i wa aiming for my th bday but that s too far from now i just want to give up i m exhausted

the poor spartan

cough cough cough that s all i seem to do right now

my camera spoil

holyjaw all in the middle if the night i ve committed myself to installing window with boot camp but i m already having issue

cpt depression like you and the baby ohhhhhhsnap don t block me

germ damn it it s so true i need help

i cant do this i just cant anymore i wan na be happy again im dealing with lot rn ever since i watched some verg graphic gore smoked weed had dpdr researched solipsism it all too much for me i wan na be happy again i just cant see the world the same anymore but i want to please someone help ive had this kind of depression for year it come and go i hadnt had any kind of major depression tho for a while this doesnt feel like itll go away i rly need to know and make sure itll go away because i just cant especially at night thats when it get rly bad i just don t know what to do this doesn t feel like it ll ever go away please please help im desperate i just wan na be happy again i can t deal with this again

mcbesty monday is usually a working day

seasonal depression suck

wow nw00 00 are now operated with a 0 we can get ac power cool but ticket price is hyper crazy expensive

i m just so done of all this constant same thing everyday feeling like i m not even mentally conscious the whole time who even am i where did everybody i used to know go do they go through this to or am i just some sick i don t know if i can even talk to people about this derealization zoning out feeling i just don t even know anymore it s gotten to the point where i forget simple memory because i just don t feel like they happened so it doesn t matter i had an old friend of mine fuck you to hell cameron i hope you die they started to tell me that i wasn t a real person and that the people of the other land or some shit where waiting for u ever since i haven t been the same fuck you fuck you fuck you cameron you fuckingruined me you controlling manipulative narcissistic piece of living shit you shouldve died when you had the chance ypu ruined me why did any of this have to happen why did my parent divorce why i hate it why can t i just go back to when i wa ok and happy for once why did it all have to change why can t i just be pretty and amazing why can t i just live my life without feeling like this i can t even go a week ithout attempting to stab myself and just ending up with a stinging chest god this hurt just end it all i m so tired of living like this i m gon na make the choice soon at my dad i m not even sure if i want to yet i believe in god heavily but i don t even know if he can forgive me for this the way i m planning on doing it isn t gon na be pretty and i don t wan na traumatize my little brother he should have to see his sister like that not even in highschool dead i want to make the decision to just fucking do it already i have nothing to turn back to my home life is a mess after my parent divorce and i m constantly going back and force between parent it would eventually get exhausting don t you think im probably not gon na end up doing it anyways i really needed to let this out because god i m just so tired of everything

i reaaly miss john mayer s twitter fuck rude people remove him if you don t like his tweet bitchfucks

i want to preface this by stating that i haven t gone to anyone about this nor have i attempted to get help realistically it s just my mind actively stopping me because in some sick and twisted way it belief that i m okay i m and currently enrolled at georgia southern a a freshman while i have struggled with mild depression in the past it all really started going downhill when i lost my dog in june of last year my dog had to be put down and it wa heartbreaking i had to watch my parent and sister cry while i sat there trying to be strong i let myself fall into that typical stereotype that men aren t supposed to cry i regret it i wish i had shown some emotion then but it s neither here nor there at this point what matter is that she had been in my life since i wa a kid i grew up with her and it felt like my world crumbled beneath the weight of her loss my girlfriend at the time helped me through it a lot and wa an enormous amount of help when it came to my happiness at the time it didn t last however i had reluctantly enrolled into college and honestly felt forced to go the first two week honestly weren t too bad i enjoyed my time and thought i would get through pretty easy then me and my now ex broke up this absolutely crushed me having my dog put down being practically forced into college and now i just got out of the first major relationship i ve had all within the span of month it wa such a slow but inevitable spiral into the worst depression i would ever face my ex and i would continue having contact with each other for the rest of that semester she tried to help me feel better but i got so much worse i no longer had a grasp on who i wa and wa just trying to stitch myself back together again i never got better i struggled for the rest of the semester my grade were awful and my physical health had declined a good bit a well when halloween rolled around i attempted to commit suicide i took about half a bottle of melatonin which wa me trying to attempt but obviously that wouldn t work because it s melatonin i wa a dumbass who wa desperately trying to end it all with anything i could get my hand on well i lived then november passed and it wa finally december a month i enjoy because of it s stress free nature around this time my ex and i were actually recuperating we both still had feeling for each other while we never got back together december wa actually nice and i felt happy for the first time in a while then december ended and the new year came along i wanted to focus solely on bettering myself and although my ex and i were starting to somewhat get along again i wanted to cut off all contact i wasn t good for her and she wasn t good for me or that s what i believe to be true from then on i focused on myself i tried to be more sociable and tried to express my feeling more often to my friend it wa working kind of towards the end of january i attempted again at the time i felt like i had made no progress and i thought i wa stuck being a bad person forever so i used some strong prescription pain killer don t remember the name i made it pill in and vomited something must ve clicked inside me because this wa a turning point the entirety of february wa pretty good i felt happy and i enjoyed so much of life i talked to my parent about not wanting to do college and the fact that i broke up with my ex yes it took me month to tell my parent i wa scared to they were understanding and said they d let me live there a long a i had a job i also explained to them that i wanted to do something else in life then what i previously had said to them i wa majoring in computer science because i really wanted to be a programmer but realized that i didn t actually enjoy it i had tried to do some coding on the side and i just didn t have fun with it what i did have fun with though wa disc golf it wa something that helped me feel better about myself because i wa constantly improving in particular i had started to take it seriously around the beginning of january and by the time i talked to my parent i felt really confident and wa thinking of going pro in the future they shut it down because it s rare to succeed in sport and if anything it would be up to luck after that entire conversation about me not being able to be who i wanted i had signed a lease to live with my sister down near the college since we both go there i did not have any intention of going to school for a second year because it wa not good for my mental health i even told my parent that i didn t want to continue college but they said that i have to because the rent where my sister and i are going to be living is too high to pay without a student loan now i m here reluctantly signing up for class next semester all while feeling i have no purpose in life my parent won t support my actually dream and would rather me find some 9 that ll at least keep me living paycheck to paycheck so i m struggling to really know who i am still while slowing piecing myself together in an attempt to better myself i m having a shitty time in college due to several thing dragging me downwards into depression my parent won t support me in what i actually want to do and are instead forcing me to do a second year of school i just don t have the energy or motivation to keep going everything is so extremely stressful right now and it s just been all one slow build up my self image ha absolutely plummeted and i m ashamed to really even go outside anymore because i hate the way i look i feel like i have absolutely no purpose anymore because of all the mixed message i m getting from my family the only thing i don t have right now that i want is a way out i have ibuprofen that i could overdose with but i ve looked it up and it seems too painful and it probably won t kill me i have a car that i could crash of course but i don t want to drag anyone else into this nor do i feel like it s reliable enough of a way out i could try to drown myself in the lake on campus but i ve already tried drowning myself in 0 0 and that didn t pan out well i just want something simple and effective i don t have the money unfortunately i haven t found the courage motivation to get a job i want this feeling to be gone i ll still try to work on myself but a this tightening in my chest get stronger and stronger each day i m not sure i ll make it

aww this earthquake in italy ha made me sad just saw the pic on the news it s terrible

i feel like giving up again i thought i had overcome this but i guess not back to square one wanting to die but not wanting to kill myself anyone else feel the same

working at uni red bull and a packet of sultana for dinner

odogwuelder brown eyed gyel bongani dee mizzzidc imagine her doing this drying depression over forgotten sneaker if this one loses her job or a child nkor what will she do

had a great st birthday but is sick a with the flu

the article is saying that the chemical imbalance is just a hypothesis and the real cause of depression is unknown antidepressant are perceived a effective on managing depression but once you take them you won t be able to function without them

just remembered that doctor have told me i have depression amp that make a lot of sense seeing how i took monday off saying i wa sick but just could not for the life of me bring myself g work amp i m literally writing an email at am saying im not coming the rest of the week