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TRANIO: Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant? |
VINCENTIO: What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! while I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university. |
TRANIO: How now! what's the matter? |
BAPTISTA: What, is the man lunatic? |
TRANIO: Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what 'cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it. |
VINCENTIO: Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo. |
BAPTISTA: You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name? |
VINCENTIO: His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio. |
Pedant: Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio. |
VINCENTIO: Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the duke's name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio? |
TRANIO: Call forth an officer. Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming. |
VINCENTIO: Carry me to the gaol! |
GREMIO: Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison. |
BAPTISTA: Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison. |
GREMIO: Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this is the right Vincentio. |
Pedant: Swear, if thou darest. |
GREMIO: Nay, I dare not swear it. |
TRANIO: Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio. |
GREMIO: Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio. |
BAPTISTA: Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him! |
VINCENTIO: Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O monstrous villain! |
BIONDELLO: O! we are spoiled and--yonder he is: deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone. |
LUCENTIO: |
VINCENTIO: Lives my sweet son? |
BIANCA: Pardon, dear father. |
BAPTISTA: How hast thou offended? Where is Lucentio? |
LUCENTIO: Here's Lucentio, Right son to the right Vincentio; That have by marriage made thy daughter mine, While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne. |
GREMIO: Here's packing, with a witness to deceive us all! |
VINCENTIO: Where is that damned villain Tranio, That faced and braved me in this matter so? |
BAPTISTA: Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio? |
BIANCA: Cambio is changed into Lucentio. |
LUCENTIO: Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love Made me exchange my state with Tranio, While he did bear my countenance in the town; And happily I have arrived at the last Unto the wished haven of my bliss. What Tranio did, myself enforced him to; Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake. |
VINCENTIO: I'll slit the villain's nose, that would have sent me to the gaol. |
BAPTISTA: But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter without asking my good will? |
VINCENTIO: Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but I will in, to be revenged for this villany. |
BAPTISTA: And I, to sound the depth of this knavery. |
LUCENTIO: Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown. |
GREMIO: My cake is dough; but I'll in among the rest, Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast. |
KATHARINA: Husband, let's follow, to see the end of this ado. |
PETRUCHIO: First kiss me, Kate, and we will. |
KATHARINA: What, in the midst of the street? |
PETRUCHIO: What, art thou ashamed of me? |
KATHARINA: No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss. |
PETRUCHIO: Why, then let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away. |
KATHARINA: Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay. |
PETRUCHIO: Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late. |
LUCENTIO: At last, though long, our jarring notes agree: And time it is, when raging war is done, To smile at scapes and perils overblown. My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, While I with self-same kindness welcome thine. Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina, And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow, Feast with the best, and welcome to my house: My banquet is to close our stomachs up, After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down; For now we sit to chat as well as eat. |
PETRUCHIO: Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat! |
BAPTISTA: Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio. |
PETRUCHIO: Padua affords nothing but what is kind. |
HORTENSIO: For both our sakes, I would that word were true. |
PETRUCHIO: Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow. |
Widow: Then never trust me, if I be afeard. |
PETRUCHIO: You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you. |
Widow: He that is giddy thinks the world turns round. |
PETRUCHIO: Roundly replied. |
KATHARINA: Mistress, how mean you that? |
Widow: Thus I conceive by him. |
PETRUCHIO: Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that? |
HORTENSIO: My widow says, thus she conceives her tale. |
PETRUCHIO: Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow. |
KATHARINA: 'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:' I pray you, tell me what you meant by that. |
Widow: Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe: And now you know my meaning, |
KATHARINA: A very mean meaning. |
Widow: Right, I mean you. |
KATHARINA: And I am mean indeed, respecting you. |
PETRUCHIO: To her, Kate! |
HORTENSIO: To her, widow! |
PETRUCHIO: A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down. |
HORTENSIO: That's my office. |
PETRUCHIO: Spoke like an officer; ha' to thee, lad! |
BAPTISTA: How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks? |
GREMIO: Believe me, sir, they butt together well. |
BIANCA: Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body Would say your head and butt were head and horn. |
VINCENTIO: Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you? |
BIANCA: Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again. |
PETRUCHIO: Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun, Have at you for a bitter jest or two! |
BIANCA: Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush; And then pursue me as you draw your bow. You are welcome all. |
PETRUCHIO: She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio. This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd. |
TRANIO: O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound, Which runs himself and catches for his master. |
PETRUCHIO: A good swift simile, but something currish. |
TRANIO: 'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself: 'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay. |
BAPTISTA: O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now. |
LUCENTIO: I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio. |
HORTENSIO: Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here? |
PETRUCHIO: A' has a little gall'd me, I confess; And, as the jest did glance away from me, 'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright. |
BAPTISTA: Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all. |
PETRUCHIO: Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance Let's each one send unto his wife; And he whose wife is most obedient To come at first when he doth send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose. |
HORTENSIO: Content. What is the wager? |
LUCENTIO: Twenty crowns. |
PETRUCHIO: Twenty crowns! I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound, But twenty times so much upon my wife. |
LUCENTIO: A hundred then. |
HORTENSIO: Content. |
PETRUCHIO: A match! 'tis done. |
HORTENSIO: Who shall begin? |
LUCENTIO: That will I. Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me. |
BIONDELLO: I go. |
BAPTISTA: Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes. |
LUCENTIO: I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself. How now! what news? |
BIONDELLO: Sir, my mistress sends you word That she is busy and she cannot come. |