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doe anyone do the freeze thing a their fight flight freeze reaction and how do you work through that especially when it happens at your job i sometimes sort of just malfunction and can t speak and lose all my thought i don t even know why it happens sometimes but it happens a lot when i make a mistake or do something wrong and then someone higher up try to talk to me about it it s especially annoying and embarrassing in that situation because i sometimes also end up cry or getting teary and i want to just be able to take the blame or whatever but i end up feeling like i m manipulating everyone into just feeling bad for me or if i m not cry and i can t speak i don t want them to think i don t care the other day i had that happen and the assistant director who wa telling me not to do what i did noticed i wa getting emotional and i could tell she didn t know how to respond but i couldn t speak and explain myself i feel so confident sometimes about certain thing and i feel like i ve gained a level of confidence over the past few year and yet at the same time this particular experience feel like it s getting worse and for background i have never been abused or in and abusive relationship and i know this is a very common for people who have been in those scenario so i don t really know why i react that way sooo ha anyone experienced this and maybe have some word of advice what do you do in these situation

mizzzidc and you get mind put it here i hope ur bf or husband to be and his mother is seeing what is awaiting them ending it with emotional blackmail of u going into yeye depression nonsense

life in sc i have been struggling financially for year and faced homelessness on and off i can t do this anymore i m not mentally or emotionally stable at all i fucked up by quitting my last job week ago because i wa committed to ending my life since i had to pay a 00 bill for accidentally causing damage in my apartment luckily my partner who life faraway helped me out and covered it for me for the longest my life been going downhill i have no family to turn to because i m distant from most of them including my own mother because they re toxic or they would never pick up the phone at all my older sister is the only one i talk with but not really at all i have no friend at all the only people i really have is my partner and my older sister sometimes and they ve been helping me through my situation i feel like a complete burden to them i temporarily lived at my cousin s house and experienced verbal physical abuse and destruction of my belonging from his wife then wa kicked out after a couple of month she kicked me out the house every other week because i wa short on my portion of the rent or out of pure pettiness i been homeless either out on the street park area or living in my car from time to time then i wa ultimately kicked out after she randomly decided she doesn t want to see me again even though i paid for my portion of the rent i did managed to get an apartment on short notice with the help of my partner but i had trouble paying for my bill i had different job and the pay wasn t good at all on top of that they were cutting my hour a lot i barely make it to paying my rent multiple time and i wa hit with a late fee every time i ve been attempting to kill myself many time because i m so tired and stressed out with this uphill battle nothing ever work out in my favor i can t do anything right at all i ve been going day without eating having water or electricity because i m way behind on bill and being broke barely have gas to get to the job i had i tried applying for different assistant program but i only get denied or never hear back from them same thing with applying for job online and in person either they re not hiring never called or i have to wait awhile i sold nude and foot pic before but i couldn t get client who s willing to pay i know some of my problem are because of my own irresponsibility i can never catch a break at all i just can t act get right no matter how hard i try i m always stuck

i m sitting on my bed alone in my dark room smoking weed looking at the night sky and old photo listening to music i wa listening year ago and thinking about those time when everything wa fine and i knew le than i know right know it hurt so much physically and mentally

hi everyone this all started back in college i wa doing lot of drug molly cocaine acid molly and wa doing badly at uni after my dad put the fear of god into me i started taking school a lot more seriously and drastically slowed down my drug intake not long after i started developing horrible physical anxiety at night i would get into bed feel fine but just couldn t flip the switch to fall asleep i would lay there for an hour or so and then my heart would start to race shortness of breath then all of a sudden i would have an intense chest burning sensation that would last hour i felt dead in the morning but by 9am or 0am i would get a surge in energy i wa jacked up and sweating a lot i would do well in school because my mind wa going a 00 mph but after several week of this i started feeling exhausted and would even hallucinate during the day i could only do school work at night i wa too brain dead to pay attention in class this went on for a couple of year before i went to the doctor and wa prescribed lexapro generic the first few week were really bad but then i felt amazing however i had bad sexual side affect and it changed my personality i felt dead inside after three year on this i went on to venlafaxine it gave me a stupid amount of energy sweated profusely and peed a often a before i lasted one year on this then i switched over to zoloft generic i started on 0mg but i felt brain dead and again had sexual side affect so i lowered the dose to mg the sexual side affect decreased but it still wasn t great i also still felt a little out of it so i lowered it to mg during covid lockdown i wa working from home all of the time i didn t have a bad time falling asleep on this but i didn t feel good the next day either tired brain fog easily irritable but it wa better than physical anxiety at midnight when we were told we had to go back into the office the anxiety at night came back not horrible physical anxiety but more like normal anxiety and insomnia i lasted a few month on this and just couldn t take it anymore so i started smoking weed unfortunately i have always been super sensitive to weed i would get euphoria from one or two hit this helped me sleep but i wa still tired and irritable the next day a i continued smoking i would need more and more to get that euphoric feeling to put me to sleep then thing turned south quickly i wa becoming very irritable and would lash out at family and coworkers nearly everyday i would calm down then apologize after a few week of this my dad said i needed to see my doctor i wa put on wellbutrin and had the worst day of my life i totally lost it extreme mood swing nerve pain and claustrophobia i got off that and am recovering this week from it i took benadryl sunday night and monday night to sleep last night i took nothing and had the worst physical anxiety since college i did the right thing though i turned off the tv early and did some meditation and felt good going to bed but just like in college i had radiating anxiety two hour in i slept maybe hour and woke up jacked sweating a bunch and mind racing i don t know if i need different medication or therapy or both ha anyone dealt with what i m experiencing did a certain type of medication help did you need therapy too thanks for sharing

jonathanchard not calorie wise i wish junk food wa calorie free i ate a thing of sour skittle and a big as cherry coke

it s been over two year since i had a real suicidal drive and made a plan to kill myself it is coming back i file like at the drop of a hat the most important person in my life my great and sweet girlfriend might not care about me anymore she know she ha to go to therapy to manage her strong emotion and to sort out many thing inside of her but every time we re close to getting help she back down it s been really hard on me i feel really worthless i feel like the only way to help is to stop being a nuisance the feeling of dread and misery is returning and it s tough i know this is fucking stupid and minor anyone active here and reading this probably ha real problem and maybe i should go vent somewhere else but i m just scared that the thought are coming back that those scary dark thought are actually back in my head

still feel feckin arseholed a sign of old age me think

work today

i m year old diagnosed with gouty arthritis at and i ve been battling with myself for almost a year now and it ha gotten to the point where i m tired of living this tuesday morning at am i tried to commit suicide my second attempt on taking my own life in le than a year and yet i ve still managed to fail once more i wa able to get at least hour of sleep but nothing more and that s the best i can get from a day just sleep wishing and praying to god to take my life every night passing away in my sleep best way possible imho for the last few month i ve been starting all my day and ending in tear soaking my pillow i m constantly emotionally unstable i break down in the middle of my lecture and i m genuinely tired of feeling sad and having different type of emotion on a daily basis i m lacking enormously in motivation to keep on living my mind is a thinking machine and won t stop thinking about all the suicidal way i could end my pain most of the time i ask myself why me i used to be an energetic kid who enjoyed doing many thing in my free time mostly gaming all by myself since i never had an opportunity to make a solid friendship so most of the time i end up talking expressing to myself because in this world there is no one here for me no one ha ever cared for me or even shared the least tiny drop of affection towards my person that s why i just don t try to make friend any more because i feel like i m a failure at it and i don t want no one to invest time in me i currently have an absurd amount of hate rage towards myself for not being able to finish everything and not looking upon my flaw and imperfection and wasting the endless opportunity of improving myself now i ll just have to live with the consequence and i m just here in this world all alone thinking and knowing that some people are doing better than me and living their best life and i envy that and i m jealous of that i m writing this deep down from a part of me that ha just a millimeter of hope of recuperating but i highly doubt i ll be able to do it i won t lie a of writing this it feel like i m getting rid of an anchor that ha been pulling me back all this time

missing vemsteroo unwell still so having phoned the office am going back to bed it seems empty this morning sigh

kal penn ok well i think i just got a spoiler for this episode i haven t seen it yet i m in the uk gutted now

it must be annoying to be my friend employer fellow employee or anyone else who need to contact me i am scared to death of receiving bad news from people bring angry at me plan not working out or more responsibility being added to my plate that i just out right avoid any news all together im really scared that the government is going to come after me for incorrect tax breaking law which i have unbeknownst broken ect so i just avoid any and all thing that they could contact me through i dont even like doorbell this ha damaged my gpa because i don t even look at my school website so i miss homework and even test i guess i m just paranoid feel like the end is always drawing near and i d rather not see it hit me but it hit me regardless and it s impact is worse because i dint see it coming but because it hit me it reaffirms that bad news is coming and the cycle continues

hello i ll try to keep this brief i grew up in an abusive household and came to study in the u to get away from that last semester i wa assaulted my therapist say i might have some sadness and depression and i know i do but my main concern is how since starting college i literally even if my life depended on it can not focus on work i don t know if this is due to lack of motivation due to depression or some attention issue i think it might be a combination i m going to hopkins this summer for an internship and plan to see a psychiatrist there who can diagnose me any idea what kind of psychologist i should look for

i feel like everything i do i get tired of very quickly i dont feel like challenging myself or bettering myself when something happens to me i put myself down real quick im functional enough to get out of bed clean myself and go to work but thats really it nothing else my interest in activity isnt there i used to be on 0 mg of sertaline a year and a half ago but i got off it thats back when i wa suicidal and to be honest i have improved just not to the extent i think i should have i thought my brain would start getting back into a completely healthy rhythm by itself but it didnt thankfully im not suicidal and the fact i admit i want to improve is a very good sign

sleepless night become more frequent a i slip back into the black hole depression anxiety stress pain anger sadness loneliness hurt all of it just collides and the you start to spin why try and stop it you always end up back here hello my old friend

i m an adult but i want to escape my family completely i don t know where to start i ve told my therapist that i hate my family and stuff he replied with well they are really wealthy maybe you should continue being provided since you have your need to be met with i highly believe he s saying because of my mental issue i m diagnosed with ptsd ed psychosis mdd major clinical depressive disorder satiety etc but i don t think it s that serious because i can stabilize myself i have okay coping mechanism it feel like my therapist doesn t think i can stand on my foot by myself without my family i live with my family but i bought a house with their money and my money from work yes i did tell my family i wanted to leave but they said okay but first give u our 00 thousand back they helped me buy a house and now because of a fight they want me to stay home and own up to my mistake ridiculous thing is that they offered to pay and said i didn t need to pay them back now they re blackmailing me i told them i would because i have good bank i m a banker for a reason they then said something like you have no right to be saying that a banker is nothing respected blah blah blah they went on about how i should ve continued the line in our family of becoming engineer or surgeon the hardest part isn t even dealing their expectation of me it s the fact some of my family member especially my older brother and mom are narcissist some of you are probably thinking well why don t you just move into your home and ignore them if i move into my home they said they will have the higher ups of my job fire me i don t know what my parent want from me i m just stressed and going crazy because of their existence i know i can legally cut my parent off but don t know where to start do i have to make a call first anyone have info i d greatly appreciate it i ve dealt with my parent from teen year to now but i ve had enough of it i thought i d be free from their grasp once i become an adult but i m still stuck and i hate myself for having mental issue it s bothersome

so i have bad anxiety and it s been over a year since i ve worked within this past week i ve gotten job interview one i went to but then after i left the place i wa so anxious i developed a migraine and i vomited in my car the second job interviewed i completely ignored and this third one this third interview which i have tomorrow is for a prep cook position but i m considering quitting that too my brain always find some reason to tell me to quit and when i ask for people advice on this job or that job the bad experience discourage me i wa looking forward to trying to be in the kitchen but people tell me it s not worth it it s 0 hour work week little pay and no benefit and plus i don t want to be a manager either i just want to do something for income that i actually kind of enjoy everyone ha something bad to say and that on top of my past horrible work experience i have zero confidence in myself or that any employee or employer i work for will be considerate and relatable and not a total asshole to work with i m a horrible waitress bc my anxiety make me forget order and sometimes forget about a table entirely yet do i want to be in a hot oily kitchen all day and be responsible for people meal it s a tough choice between misery and misery i m depressed about the 9 work week humanity ha created my goal is to grow and sell my own produce and i m a current gardener a it is and my major is agriculture any job for money seems like hell and miserable and i hate having to dedicate myself and my time to a dumb fuck slew of ceo and higher ups who only see you a a number will i ever get over this enough to get myself a job my god this is just miserable day in and day out

i m alive because i wan na outlive all the mf who gave me truma

the thought of living the rest of my life with depression is so sad and i don t think i can handle it i am already dead inside but i still have to live with my body i couldn t see my life other than being boring and empty there is just nothing to look forward to the regret from my past keep haunting me and there is no way to stop it no matter how hard i try to improve every day is the same a i dropped out from college and currently unemployed with unsupportive parent i believe my life is already in ruin

hello i m having some trouble understanding my life rn i had a event that i would consider traumatic last year and i don t feel like i haven t been the same since i developed dissociation and depersonalization for a month i had trouble feeling like i and everything around me wa real i have self diagnosed depression and even then i could talk to my friend and have deep relationship with people now i don t feel talking to anyone and i have a hard time reaching out to my friend i have trouble concentrating and functioning a a student and i ignored basically all of my responsibility for the last two month for videogames i ve had episode where i have a lot of anger or i find it hard to breathe when i do something wrong and i ve also had a hard time sleeping i ve recently gone to therapy but i don t feel like it s helping my life feel like hell and my suicidal thought have been stronger

i have a severe problem socially and going out in public i can talk to people on no problem but when i have to be around stranger in public or just a bunch of people i think everyone is looking at me or making fun of me and my anxiety will be so bad i start to walk weird af and it make people notice me even more and i just dont even wan na leave the house anymore i literally cant walk in a straight line when i have to walk by other people especially if they are with friend idk what to do anymore

what should i do i am feeling down i don t know

where do i even start this feeling ha been going for year but now i reached a point where i am fully convinced that my life is just pointless purposeless empty i keep finding way to help myself to get better socialize talk to a psychologist then i got refered to a psychiatrist and talk to god i don t blame god for anything okay i still believe in god the psychiatrist did gave med escitalopram amp na divalproex amp quetiapin amp olanzapine amp vit b complex for a year i took those med constantly after a year i wa only prescribed with the first two med then recently the psychiatrist needed to move up my med to something more stronger because i said the med didn t work in socializing i tried to talk to friend but i couldn t open myself fully to any of them it is because no one listened or no one gave anything to help same go with my family i even tried looking for a relationship but with the trauma that my past caused me my ex s mirrored my depression towards me i also tried dating apps but every single one is either horny or just hard to talk to i tried to connect with workmate but you know that feeling when just can t connect it s hard to describe but yeah bottom line in socializing no one listens or give help in talking to god i still believe that there s a purpose for everything that s why we are created right i really don t blame god for anything even though i am suffering so much the only question is how long will i have to suffer more detail about work right now i m happy with what i m doing there s stress problem and shitty experience but at least i get task that need to be done yeah so when i m given a task i can finish it regardless of my mentality so my background well i ve been bullied since elementary until highschool for being different in the look it wa nd year highschool when the whole class bullied me constantly the teacher can t even help lol my depression really attacked me in nd year college there i realized all my suffering all my mistake and all my regret i attempted suicide for like time but always failed unfortunately twice i got caught by my family they were concerned at first but a time pass by so is the concern after all that i gave up trying to kill myself because i can t i m too much of a coward to kill myself all those physical abuse i tried to do on myself i can t do it twice so yeah i m like in the middle of trying to live and trying to kill myself if only i m brave enough to just commit suicide i would do it but i m not i actually tried to do sport in the past i wa very active in physical sport like taekwondo athletics and mma i even went to the gym right now i m doing biking but all those physical activity stopped a i lost interest or no motivation anymore i continued biking but everytime i do it i go full speed thinking i would die unfortunately my body just hold the break to slow down and make turn right now i just literally gave up on everything i m convinced that i ll be living my life like an empty shell med don t work socializing don t work and etc etc i just do my work then after just back to emptiness again i am able to do task but is it still living when you just do task out of obligation for advice sorry but i already heard too much but it didn t work anyways just trying to vent out i hope this story is clear or understandable thank you for reading

i am year old and i finallly came to the conclusion that i need help with anxiety i signed up for therapy and will have my first session in a couple of day prior to the therapy session i met with a prescriber to discus medication they recomended starting me off on zoloft or lexapro in general i tend to think of medication a a last resort not just for thing like this but in all aspect for example i rarely used medinces perscribed to me for pain after surgery and would only use them if absolutely necesarry i don t even like taking ibuprofen for a headache unless it is unbearable given that i am trying to figure out whether or going on anxiety medication is necessary for me or not i am worried about going on something for the rest of my life and am a little concerned about the side effect on the other hand i have been reading some post on here about how much med helped people i am hoping to hear from some people that have been on any of these medication and what their experience were also if anyone ha any thought on whether or not someone that is new to this whole anexiety improvement journey should jump into med or just try therapy first and see how that go i always kind of ignored my anxiety and told myself that since i have been able to graduate from college with a good degree hold down a great job for several year and maintain good relationship that my anxiety must not be that bad but a time go by i am starting to feel like it is getting worse and is negatively impacting my happiness and is leading my to lean on stimulant and alcohol too much which doesn t seem like a long term healthy way of handling this i have also had a couple of concussion in the last few year so i am not sure how much that play into what i am going through i would really appreciate it if some people could speak to their experience or have any encouragement or advice for someone just starting out in therapy and potentially medication please reach out if i can add additional context to my situation to help clarity where i am at also i wa reading some other post on this sub about people being tired all of the time i have spent year trying to figure out medically why to no avail i am starting to wondering if my axiety is causing it can anyone speak to any experience or epiphany they have had with this thanks garrison

mizzzidc with all you have said you ve almost landed that woman into depression

i have no friend i have no talent and im not smart either im not loved i am just their utility i feel like this life is not worth living there is nothing ahead of me i have no interest no passion nothing

octopuseatspie i got the i can ha chezburger book from the lobo and you are not here to look at it wif me

all the fightin and name callin i can still run my sister nite

morning everyone still feeling poorly hope u all have a good day x

allyheman but but but i m not a big fan on camilla belle

i don t know if this is the right place but i just want to get this out of my system somewhere and a journal won t do if it doesn t belong here please delete my girlfriend and i are in an open relationship we both agreed on it and i never had any problem with it but after year of trying i have had zero success while my girlfriend can basically choose and it hurt it hurt seeing her choose other guy over me it hurt knowing she d rather spend time with them than with me what hurt the most is seeing her being happy listening to her talking about how exciting it is how much self esteem she gained from it and thus knowing that if i ever tell her that it hurt me i ll make her sad and i don t want to make her feel said even if it mean cry myself to sleep while she is having fun with our friend it s not her issue though she is always asking beore and afterwards if it is okey checking in on me and she would stop this instant if i would tell her about any of this but i know it would still hurt and limit her losing this part of her life and i can t and don t want to do that because i know that if i loose her my life would get miserable i d most likely stay the rest of my life alone and die alone i d lose almost everything positive in my life and i d rather die than having to live 0 miserable year alone thanks for putting up with my ridiculous and self inflicted shit and just remove it if it doesn t belog here

i m just tired of coming second to finding a partner and not being chosen over someone they say someone is out there for everyone but i don t think so they say don t go looking someone will come find you but i don t think so they say it will fall into your lap when you least expect it but i don t think so these situation have happened but they always fail i m just tired of not being enough

last time i attempted i failed for like the th time and i m not going to mess up another one this time is going to be my last so i hope y all will stop worrying about me because i don t deserve it and i m not worth worrying about it s going to happen today or tomorrow most likely tomorrow though bye

i have trouble falling asleep i need something to regulate my sleep cycle back in the day i took zopiclone which wa good at putting me to sleep but early awakening were somewhat annoying i would like to hear the experience of people who have taken zopiclone and other z drug amp benzodiazepine how did they compare which do you like the most

i ve been feeling pretty even consistently which is good i missed a dose the other night i usually take them before bed i fell asleep on the couch by the time i woke up at am i felt it wa too late before the next dose so just halved the dose today i truly felt the difference and realized the importance of this medication i do find that now that i know what it s like to live like someone with a more normal brain wave thanks to the med when anxious start do enter my mind now it s much more frightening than it wa before even though i ve lived with gad for a long time i wa diagnosed with it a couple of month ago and still i m having difficulty accepting it doe anyone else have the experience of anxious thought now more pronounced and frightening when they are experienced upon missing a dose

i ve been waking up with anxiety attack every day for the past week it s been a while since my morning anxiety wa this bad i usually get anxious around people or quite randomly throughout the day which i m used to i ve had that since i wa so i can sort of handle that more or le but man the morning anxiety ha me losing my mind i can t function for hour i either lay in bed with racing heart amp thought unable to move or i m the most fuzzy hyperactive person on earth running around doing random stuff just trying to get away from my thought and hoping it ll somehow calm me down i ve tried breathing exercise meditation stretching taking a shower doing stuff to distract me doesn t help much i have to wait til it go away which take around h for me another hour or two until i feel normal again doe anybody have tip please i just wan na be able to manage this until i can get help the worse it get the more scared i get that i ll fail my university class cause i can t get sh t done which in turn make my anxiety worse vicious cycle

i m only and already have so many physical and mental health issue ptsd ocd autism adhd depression anxiety visual snow obesity fibromyalgia gender dysphoria im trans chronic fatigue binge eating disorder it s all so much not only all this but recently i ve been dealing with more health problem my heart been racing even when i m just laying down and it make me feel like i can t get enough breath in like i m constantly breathing but not fully or something i also have been having horrible cramp like pain and after getting a ultrasound apparently i have a bunch of cyst on my ovary but this apparently isn t the cause of my pain and that terrifies me they think it might be the testosterone and i m scared i ll have to stop taking it and they re not even sure that s what s causing the pain i ve been trying to cope by hanging out with friend and my boyfriend online and other stuff like that but it can t distract me enough from the physical issue so i ve been using weed and alcohol but i know i can t keep using these to cope forever i know it s likely i ll become an alcoholic and part of me doesn t even care a long a it distracts me from the pain enough i m trying to apply for government assistance for disability but it s a lot of work and i feel like it s pointless and they ll just reject me again i ve been in therapy for year take med and go to doctor a lot im still this way no matter how much help i get i m so tired i m so tired of the constant issue i cant keep doing this how long do i have to keep going thru this it feel like it ll never get better idk how much longer i can keep going when i have to deal with all of this it s so much

i think i m getting sick

anyone else with this fear i can t go outside when it s dark i get panic attack thinking everyone is out to get me i also have a fear of getting killed by previous boyfriend friend and fear they will break into my house it make it hard to look into the future thinking everyday is the last

no post or even any email nobody love you when your down i d take a long walk but don t have energy to get out of chair

i cant stop laughing this burger king commerical im so easily amused

mileycyrus ouch mine too

struggling with eam law

like the title say i have no idea who i really am i question myself and wonder if i am a good or bad person lately everything in my life ha sucked and i just want it to be over w this is not a confession btw i m ok i won t harm myself i just mean the disorder to go away i need to go back to therapy and get on medication maybe

not feeling well again stupid migraine making my tummy upset and my whole body ache shoot me now

theekween help with depression thelmasherbs

too cold and tired to write good twitter everyone wa obeying the cop tonight total dissappointment we were so close

my navel piercing tore a bit when i wa forcing my dog into the bed of my truck my fault i know it look to be healing yay

j xox ohh i hope so not stopin till i get a reply lol i wunder if marvs read all the v lyric haha i can imagine his nxt blog about it

shutting off twitter

tryin to take a nap i can t sleep

panic disorder is one type of anxiety disorder the main characteristic of panic disorder is the occurrence of panic attack a panic attack is a sudden onset of fear even without an apparent cause the physical symptom of a panic attack such a shortness of breath racing heart and chest pain http www healthgrades com right care symptom and condition pain can often make people feel http familydoctor org condition panic disorder a though they are having a heart attack http www healthgrades com right care heart attack heart attack while most people will experience a panic attack at some point in their life those with panic disorder experience them on a more regular basis panic attack can occur http www nimh nih gov health publication panic disorder when fear overwhelms anywhere from several time per day to only a few time per year the fear of the next panic attack can affect your daily life and cause you to avoid place and situation where you had a panic attack before panic disorder often begin in the late teenage year or in early adulthood people assigned female at birth are more likely to develop panic disorder than male if you have had at least two panic attack with no clear cause followed by approximately month of feeling fear that another attack may happen contact your doctor

theekween heart break trauma anxiety depression pain of losing a loved one thelmasherbs http t co ayy9 a u r

honey i did get some disgruntled people when i wrote my esn but the 000 hit in one day made up for it bill pull in 0 top

my dad killed himself and it left me with a feeling like i want to kill everyone in my family who s moved on since then i m his only child my brother is now a stranger to me my mother is my father s killer i am his only survivor i want to kill myself

doe anyone else feel this way too during an attack it will come on like a rush out of nowhere no trigger that i m feeling for instance whenever i go to like target or walmart i tend to get this it s almost like an overwhelming feeling and feeling faint i never seem to be able to finish my shopping fully due to this because i just want to go checkout a soon a this wave come on i hate this so much

badood sash 009 9 jimmythomist vaushv lauren southern depression

but of course the document with the important table in it isn t published on the internet

theekween depression anxiety heart break thelmasherbs

id be fake a hell to come online and only post my win i also got ta tell u about the struggle flat broke day depression battle year of rejection and working day job to stay afloat the payoff and blessing are def nice but u got ta go thru hell and back to get there

doe anyone here have anxiety about their status at their job it make me feel bad that i may possibly always be at the bottom of my company and won t ever be promoted to a more senior position i feel like i ve given up on myself in a way i actually gave up on myself a long time ago why do i feel like past failure mean i can t improve myself now

allstarninja my choice are limited since they blocked my hulu

omg i ve an economics test and i dont know all the thing i have to know and omg im gon na fail

vishal ud yeah got no choice am not to study am to reach class on time for the paper hows eco treating you

onemoreproject that is lame

finally updated oohh i sooo miss the internet sorry to say that woop x may not open apr 0 so how s it goin

i want to sing but i m afraid of everything my voice is shaking when i speak and it make me cry even thinking about singing or practicing plus to that i wa in music school when i wa a child and my music teacher just stopped working with me said i am useless and should just be quit when others sing i really need to start singing it s killing me but i am afraid to go to school for anxiety and childhood memory of being shit at singing and i am afraid of practicing home because i think neighbor can hear me i can t cope anymore

i am struggling with depression for about a year now it make me do thing i don t want to do i ve lost a good friend that i ve known over year because my mind told me to hate him i started calling him name and told him that i want this friendship to end i apologized so many time explained everything and tried to stay in contact but now we just go our way my best friend know about my depression and always support me but today they started arguing with me i think they are getting sick of me my mind tell me to hate them too but i luckily can t bring myself to cut them off my body is very often freezing i m sometimes even heavily shaking because of this idk why is this related to my depression my suicidal thought are getting worse i don t really want to die but i don t want to live either wait no i do want to die but i am too afraid of failing an attempt and having to live with the injury i might get doe anyone else have these problem doe anyone know how to deal with this also doe anyone wan na talk i feel lonely and i don t want to bother my friend

i know vain reason to be depressed but i ve been so rejected all my life that it would be good to know if somebody remembers me

akianz renting but very cheap renting and awesome house we had buying attempt fall through

let s not leave anyone alone

ilearn is down and out great considering final are this week

everyone here know it s difficult to do anything while depressed even getting out of bed or brushing your teeth can sap all your strength appetite usually go out the window a well which lead to low blood sugar exhaustion etc here s what i reach for when i have to force myself to eat any type of smoothie shake i usually use a low glycemic berry oatmilk and kale or spinach protein powder is good also to add a bit more calorie chia seed for the fiber to keep you satiated longer bone broth or soup again very little prep time and you re not actually eating just drinking bone broth alone ha very little calorie but the protein content will help your malfunctioning brain work a bit better any type of nut or seed they pack a ton of calorie in just a handful doesn t feel like you are eating a meal no prep time

i m doing really bad mentally i don t feel up to typing a paragraph explaining what s wrong in my life rn i just want somebody to acknowledge me and let me know that it s gon na be okay

d castillo ugh that s disconcerting

sorry about message n such i have been stewing in my apartment depression napping tryna will myself to feel better though tomorrow i will try to be functional

shystieuk wish me luck got ta go london ging great olmand street for a appointment really scared xxxx

i wan na go home

i am just a kid with a deformity i am in such constant misery i have no friend and i dont even feel human all i do is get made fun of and i cant take it anymore i just want to end it

davedynamix i m still sad over marley amp me also that damn clearance dog

is sooo proud with her bro huhu he s so talentfull i wish i could do best like him

theekween depression and anxiety thelmasherbs

i m fucking and why the fuck do i still feel this shit fuck fuck fuxk fuxk fuck fuck this i hate this

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so i recently moved to a state 000 mile away from my home with my parent even though there wa no point in it i m and this isn t just the right place for me and there s nothing i can do about it all my family member who lived here convinced my parent to move over here cause apparently it s better when i m here my anxiety ha gone up by a lot i can t even sit still in peace after getting into a fight like my mind constantly telling me we need to go back home i never got along with others in public and got into fight at school already did drug and a lot of stuff like that my parent think this is the best environment and i m still acting like this and they never listen to me i m having a talk with my therapist in a few day do you think they could convince my parent that this isn t a good place for me and recommend u to move out of the state for better mental health for me mentally and emotionally because i just do not belong here i wa so much better a a person in my hometown now i can t even tell if this is me i even have done drug here for the first time and yet my parent family think i m the problem not the environment what can i do

let the depression stage kick in now so it can be over soon

oh man wa ironing jeancjumbe s fave top to wear to a meeting burnt it

it still suck m that ha a job that a lot of people wish they had hr showed me that they received over 00 application for my position i moved to a new city for this job right before covid took over can t seem to make friend or meaningful connection with anyone in just over year i don t really have hobby and dread coming home to an empty house every night i ve always struggled with self esteem and this crushing loneliness ha me struggling yo get out of bed nobody call or even sends me text message i have no one that care about me i m already hiding so much including my emotion just desperately hoping someone i know reach out to me life is hard i get that and i know it s not easy for anyone but so many people i know have it so much easier their constant smile and laughter hurt but i hurt even more pretending to smile and laugh with them i ve ended up losing the passion and drive i once had got my career and am truly lost no friend no family no career no future fml

this week is not going a i had hoped

i m not joking been having a pounding headache after a meltdown why actually i m personally not surprised since i have like a laundry list of trigger it s just like damn really i can t even cry in peace depression is a bitch weirder part is if you are cutting onion or even cry because something good happens it doesn t trigger a migraine or a tension headache it s just negative cry that doe it

i just want the pain to end i really want to die my life is not going anywhere i ve got no friend no future etc i m just so completely exhausted and sick of it all i wish i wasn t so sensitive but i just can t take this anymore

did i give myself erp year ago i think i did when i wa i had a pretty bad fear of gay stuff lol which lasted for maybe month idk i remember i eventually agreed with my thought and i got over the obsession i had a harm obsession a few year ago and i remember i eventually agreed with my thought there too i m going crazy and the thought eventually stopped bothering me maybe i can do it again lol

am trying to fit all my stuff in a tiny bag so i can take it on a hand luggage dont think it gon na work

at wye river it s really cold this internet is really expensive

pretty good coaching with exceptional talent trounces exceptional coaching and pretty good talent msu

shit hit the fan a single tik tok comment from an anon account that can t be traced back to me made month ago and a comment i made about a girl month ago have suddenly been brought up by this group of girl they ve made my friend drop me i m not miserably alone a i have always been my whole miserable life now they re trying to talk to my school admin man i just wa excited to start college but it might end up all being over i wish i had the mean to do it quickly and properly without hurting my family

so a a kid i moved around a lot because my dad wa in the military but since my teen i ve lived in the same state and it been a near decade i m depressed and i want to travel and move to other place this isn t isolated i also have dysthymia social anxiety disorder and aspergers i m just wondering cause it s hard to find others who relate to this

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i have suffered depression most of my life ever since i can remember i have always felt something wa off or wrong even when i wa a child i just didn t have a name for it i lived in a latin household so of course whenever i talked about it with someone i wa mostly met with man up it just a phase it all in your head or you are a kid you dont know im now i started therapy year ago started taking pill again this month i don t get any joy out of life i have had friend best friend girlfriend ive been to private island visited many country and met a lot of people im a very lucky person it just saddens me the amount of people that would have enjoyed those experience even more than me but didnt get to do it my parent tell me that they will always support me but all i want is to stop living im sorry if this doesn t fit the general theme of this subreddit i usually don t think my problem is a big or important a any of yours i just needed to vent and have somebody hear me out cause i don t have anyone else every person always end up either leaving or im the one leaving them because i dont want them to have to suffer even a little bit because of me i wish there wa a button i could press to end my existence however for anyone else that is going through what i am please don t stop trying to get better i know you can do it i may not be strong enough but im sure you will win this fight do it for everyone who ha already given up on themselves im sorry for the long post i hope you have a good life