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adhammai

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wanting some sunshine so we can lay in the pool

mileycyrus i would too if it meant spending a day in heaven w my mom and getting to see her again

we re out of the bundus god complex stage of depression is in obashata

why do i have to go to the sitty job more often than the nice one

my plan to have my eternal rest is starting to de rail starting today it frustrating that it is starting to de rail this late in the plan however i guess nothing go according to the plan even my back up plan are starting to de rail too i just want to have my eternal rest but why is the world too unfair that i feel like it keep saying that i should suffer more than what i have experienced

i ve been suicidal for year i hate my life and i haven t felt joy for a long time a much a my parent don t care for my feeling and neglect me i know that if i end myself they d be devastated seeing i m their only child i don t know what to do anymore tbh i really want to do it but i love my family too much to hurt them like that

i think my depression hit me for the third time

seekin for a new job

waiting at the airport for my ride while i get harassed by men trying to sell me ugly hat why me i just want to sleep

i just need help man im quite a confident intelligent guy id say good looking and everything but the past year my anxiety is eating me alive might think what i say is weird but good luck i can do stuff but everything i do my body responds with anxiety i feel confident then my body stop me from being happy it like i need to be stressed all the time especially when im not alone anxiety make me tense up sweat panic oily face i feel dirty even thought i keep a real good hygiene just like that from just simply waiting in line at the store or just waiting in front of someone doing something during car ride i just instantly become awkward a duck i talk and everything cool but my body just feel tense a duck and it drain all my energy my face becomes oily because im stressing about my face becoming oily and im gon na panic and look sweaty i look and feel really uncomfortable just from being in front of someone for a minute on the sidewalk i feel like everyone looking at me how annoying i am and disgusting and i think i stand out from a normal person it just horrible people said im overthinking it and others dont really notice anything but i think they do idk im so lost

i m on lexapro 0mg i feel is going well and i think lexapro saved my life but somedays i feel like i have no energy not interested or is super hard to get out from bed is this normal i mean i have a good experience with lexapro but for a reason that i don t know somedays are just awful i ll talk this with my doctor but i would like to know if someone experimented the same

i m just wondering if starting on antidepressant again after having taking a break is it still month i have to wait for them to kick in again i m assuming so but i wa also hoping maybe it d be sooner i ve been off fluoxetine for about a month or so i think it s hard to keep track and i feel like i m spiralling back into feeling hopeless kinda dream like where i can never keep up with everything i know i shouldn t have stopped but i m so forgetful and it wa so hard keeping up with staying on schedule with taking my med i m also thinking maybe i should ask my doctor about an adhd diagnosis i wa with a free service headspace with a clinician helping me with my mental health but i feel like they weren t helping me enough don t get me wrong i really really appreciate everything they did for me but it just felt so long getting answer between the session and i did try bringing these thing up to my clinician it wa kind of a toss up between me possibly having adhd or autism but since i m an adult and i live in a small town in australia there s no psychologist or anything who can formally diagnose me here we were doing zoom call with an actual psychologist at time but these were very long month apart and it felt like nothing wa happening he also couldn t tell me if it wa autism adhd since he didn t have the qualification it wa hard juggling the schedule with my job i had recently gotten and i kept forgetting to go to my appointment then i kept forgetting to take my med eventually i stopped going to headspace and wa no longer enrolled in their program i felt like i would be fine i could deal with it but i just can t i feel so damn isolated like i m on another plane of existence sometimes i struggle so much to keep up with everything i struggle so much to connect with people and communicate genuinely without having to mask or act i just don t know what to do since the only other way i can get a proper diagnosis is going to the nearest big city and paying a lot of money for that diagnosis it s 00 for a doctor to tell me if i have autism or not and i don t even know how to go about the adhd diagnosis another 00 for the flight and accommodation too should i try and save money for the diagnosis i feel like my friend and family dismiss me so much about my mental health too they make me feel so doubtful like i d be wasting money like i d go over there and i d be told nothing is wrong with me i can save the money but i m afraid of my friend and family being right about this sort of thing

pre pandemic incidence of diagnosed depression wa about this increased to during lockdown likewise amp case of anxiety went from to http t co czlqb cxqe

what can i do to help me with chest pain and uncomfortable chest please im desesperate

my nap wa interrupted so many time today going out for japanese with the rent again

someone i thought loved me my ex fianc of six year just told me i should go kill myself oh and just a few week ago he said i should go hang myself so i guess i can just go do it now clearly everyone in my life will be better off if i just end it all now i finally got confirmation of that oh do it on your birthday so you can go out the same day you came in april 9th is my birthday so i guess it s happening he cheated on me on my birthday last year anyways and knocked that girl up so i guess it s time now i should start preparing and i ve been trying to get rid of all my stuff and give it to friend or donate it anyways my camera are going to my best friend my video game and console can go to my nephew i have another niece or nephew on the way that i won t get to meet but it s ok i guess it s better that way i am giving my clothes to domestic violence shelter and a couple friend i m going to give all my art supply to my best friend too i have ton of unopened canvas and paint i m going to give my book to the library in my hometown i ve got a little over a month i think i can do it then i have a surgery i fought for for over year on the th but there s really no point in doing it now i guess i ll just call them and tell them i back up give my spot to someone who need it my sister ha her gender reveal on the th so i guess that will be my goodbye they won t even know it but i will tell them i love them a lot and in my note i ve written page upon page of apology for being a failure of a daughter and sister hopefully they forgive me i had a long note for my ex fianc but i m not giving one anymore he s far away and my family hate him so there s no guarantee he d get it even if i wanted to i have been wanting to die for year since i wa little i first broke a mirror and cut myself at the age of fucking i ve had nearly ten different attempt i think it s finally time i don t want to live anymore and i finally got permission by someone who claimed to love me that i should just do it so in a way it wa a huge gift from him to say that i am thankful for it it gave me peace i can just do it now and be done with it so honestly awesome i m so relieved

depression we re gon na sleep forever mania fuck sleep we re gon na stay up for day

mornnnninggg ugh by cub ha gone to work without a phoneee got no one to textt

nicolerichie oh my yes i miss

went in for problem i won t disclose had blood drawn and they had it sent in my symptom just keep getting worse and it s making me fear getting the dreaded cancer call back i m making it worse for myself by googling symptom after symptom illness after illness treatment after treatment and it s filling me with more dread i can t stop shaking i can t sleep i don t know what to do this is the worst attack i ve had in a long time and all i want is to go back day to before my symptom appeared so i can feel normal again and not have to fear the worst i don t know what else to say i m just so scared of what might be and i m just psyching myself out and making it worse i wouldn t be surprised if my symptom are getting worse because of the anxiety i want my doctor to see me on the weekend and i want to be comforted i don t want to die i don t want to go through treatment i m afraid of medication i m just so fucking scared right now and i just want it all to calm down i m afraid to call people i m afraid to wake up family but i don t know where to go or what to do

monasmith sadly yes i think i need counciling now

sometimes i think i wa either born too early or too late for my life the shape of water anyone else feel this way sometimes i feel like somehow i wasn t supposed to be here i don t seem to fit in with my life finding someone i click with ha become like finding life on other planet at it s difficult not to momentarily succumb to feeling of quiet heart heavy despair

head got bashed by a door today

feeling light headed and gross

mizzzidc how can a pair of nike spiral you back to depression if this is the case your family house is not the problem you are the problem and you need to fix it

hello i have this issue that s been happening more and more frequently a of late starting off back in the office i wa extremely anxious but i found that when i got there i usually always got excited and talkative for about an hour after which i start crashing it feel a like i start sinking into emptiness i get self conscious my selfless esteem crumbles and i start feeling depressed this happens regularly and follows me back home i don t know what to do or how i can mitigate this any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you

micro dose shroom capsule for depression anxiety and ptsd http t co vg rkqppt

cahmo done condone nonsense in your marriage oo that s how most woman slip into depression your life must not revolve around your man them no born two of una together if he love and respect you he won t drag you in the poteaux poteaux

pixie anna scroll back a few hour you missed a whole lotta jon

ha 0g of milky bar left and around 00ml of coke

haven t had one in awhile took med still nothing helped

stupid year project feel like you ve conquered something then you realised it s only year down

antzpantz well i obviosuly missed evcery single one

i have the flu

danielcalderonl yeaah i hate that

listening to murd and 9th wonder just chillen out missing my crazy sex life

i still cant understand linked in what sthe point of it again just got bakc from shoot bloody exhausted i need a hug

hi my bf and i are dating since year we love each other very much but i had my diagnosis anxiety and depressive disorder due tu my anxiety month ago and there ha been a lot of change my bf is very comprehensive but sometimes he say thing that i don t understand like since ish month he keep telling that i make no effort in our relationship that i am always sad or tired or angry or sick i often have ordinary cold etc i already had a discussion with him explaining that i can t help it that i ll try to change my behavior that sometimes my disorder affect me so much that i can t move and he seems to understand but it all start again week later besides when i have panic attack he help me well i don t understand why he keep saying thing like this it make me feel guilty i try really hard to make an effort but sometimes i just can t and for those asking yes i have already talked with him about this but nothing change i understand that it may be tough for him to have an anxious gf but his word cut deep sometimes i am currently in therapy and with a treatment ha nobody experienced a similar situation how did you guy manage relationship and disorder

i ve been struggling with feeling stress for the last year because of family and job issue a couple night ago i had really bad insomnia and wa up all night i felt exhausted but couldn t sleep all i could do wa lie on my sofa even getting a glass of water wa effort then in the morning my chest felt tight and my thought got kind of jumbled and overwhelming i couldn t sit still and i got up and paced for awhile i had to take deep breath i felt sick to my stomach the whole thing lasted about ten minute but i ve been really tired the last couple day feel like a hangover or something but i didn t drink the reason i m not sure if it s an anxiety attack is because i always heard that it felt like dying to have a anxiety attack and i didn t feel that i felt really unwell though any advice would be appreciated thank you

please just end it please ive tried od ing ive tried slitting my wrist i cant do it right just someone tell me the fastest and least painful way

chimpytwit brilliant idea just bring a much a you think you ll spend amp i ll swap you bring a brolly

work laptop is officially dead not happy at all

frumph i d hug you too poor frumph

yay it s time to fuck depressed depressed adjective low in spirit sad especially affected by psychological depression vertically flattened having the central part lower than the margin http t co pldmsm zxz

jetshun person who read my twitter can t catch up for another week can t talk about it here but yeah saaaaad

mizzzidc you are spiralling me back into depression with your tweet http t co a9hjljkr p

oh no free car park i always use is now pay amp display but i have no change

lghague just uni ruining my life a per usual

hold tight it s nearly the weekend here s roger inferno attending a seminar to deal with his negative thought like a totally normal person depressed superhero webcomic mentalhealthmatters depression superheroes webcomics comic positivevibesonly itsokaytonotbeokay http t co erpvmv l n

my dad call me immature when i have anxiety attack he swears and scream at my mom point at me and hovers over me when he yell and threatens to beat me if i don t somehow cure my mental illness i needed real help for a real problem and he sent me to a pseudoscientific hypnotherapist just because his friend went there i need help that doesn t make me a baby

theresev solen var inge varm

enterbelladonna i dunno how to use the forum and i get frustrated with it i ll miss talking to you on here

imma just give a head up incase my brain want to fuck me over more in the next few hour im in a really rough spot mentally rn so tweet will be really weird sad funny or just irl b idk expect fuck shit here and there mixed with depression it s hittin hard

ia awake but ha to go into school today

i m a yo guy and i want to die i feel like a bad person i have like friend and i never hangout with them other than school i have a gf and i love her with all my heart but i know she could do better not to be cocky or anything but i m probably top smartest in my school of 00 i will probably go to a decent college and have a lot of life ahead of me i just feel tired with life though i think i might be mentally ill i ve fallen into this personality of being the crazy person of the group i hate silence because then i think about how much i hate myself i say or ask random stuff to end the silence that make me seem retarded i don t smoke or do drug and not on any medication but i wa thinking last night that the way i want to die is an overdose i work in fast food and some of the people i talk to at work are drug dealer and i think they would sell to me i ve thought it through and maybe i buy multiple non lethal quantity and then use them all at once i ve been more depressed than usual this last week i do football and wrestling and it s the off season right now so i should have gone to an off season wrestling practice my gf knew i wa doing this the only time i m really happy is when i m around her i needed to see her so i skipped practice to hangout with her she wa already with her girl friend and i didn t want to be a jerk and just come out and say i need to be with you tonight i think is the limit im always horny it s all i think about and my gf rarely want to have sex because she wa molested in her sleep twice by a family friend she still sometime see this last week i kinda learned if i keep asking her she will give in we were in my basement tonight and cuddling when i tried to finger her i did not force her i asked multiple time for consent she let me do it and gave me a handjob we both finished and i said do you want to go to the park where we usually have car sex she said yes so we went it wa still kinda light out so we went to target and walmart and walked around she showed me this lego set she wanted for herself i wa having a great time when we got in the car she said she didn t want to have sex anymore i wa extremely disappointed because she got my hope up i did not force her though she said she wa sick of me always talking about sex i replied saying it s the only thing i can ever think about she got mad and we sat in silence for a bit she asked to go home but i begged her to stay out for another hour until our curfew she agreed and went went to mcdonald s for sprite i apologized probably time about it saying i ll be better i know she could do better than me but i can t bring myself to break up with her she say she only want me but i want her to be happy with someone that would treat her better i ve decided to finally go to sleep and let her move on but the important part is her period is day late right now she might be pregnant neither of u believe in abortion if she is pregnant i plan on staying alive and supporting it if she s not i m going to buy her the 00 lego set she doesn t want me to buy for her i m gon na overdose after that i think i will write her a note saying sorry and it s not her fault one to the school and friend asking them to make joke about it and one to my 0 yo brother to say sorry and leave him everything i own xbox and 000 in my bank sorry this wa so long

maybe is a defense mechanism idk but a few week ago i really tried all the fake it until you make it schtick for a few day it wa fine and people at work were impressed however soon i started to make mistake and i went overboard because now everyone is pointing out my flaw i wa a cry mess and i felt super weak and exposed today i reversed back to my usual you are worthless you really thought you could achieve something mental mantra and somehow i feel better it is like it feel better if i am the one saying it and not the others i feel so effed up for being relieved a i am now i really thought i wa getting better and believing in myself for a change but i guess i am not just built that way

i had a panic attack on my way to a meditation group because i wa heavily triggered today i wa so embarrassed i wa driving and my husband wa in the passenger seat and i almost crashed the car i am so ashamed of myself and i feel so helpless i feel like im getting worse even though i m fighting so hard to get better i started therapy and i began this mediation group and still im sinking deeper and deeper because i wa triggered i feel like i hate myself and i just want to give up

ergonomix for real i ve been there in the pit i ve not wanted to exist because of it no one deserves to feel that way least of all you in any way lt my advice is to try and say this is my anxiety depression whatever it may be talking not me i m loved it may help lt

laertesgirl sorry to hear that anything specific x

theekween thelmasherbs heart break depression anxiety

can t believe cutner is dead on house sad day in santa rosa ca http loopt u orpl a

i m feeling so hopeless right about now and just want to be free of this pain i m going through nothing seems to be going right for me and it suck i want to get off of this damn ride and be done with it all

this post covid depression is making me go through it

oh god one of the teacher here gave me a rotten gogoma to eat and i m so hungry i m trying to eat around the bad part hahahaha

i m more tired than a very tired thing today

not twittering in the past day obviously 0am and taking a small break from ochem

hebb i wish i could go to bed

i feel lonely today

the phrase and concept it get s better eventually how can anyone keep living without something other than that flawed statement there s no trick or ploy here i just don t get it i m tired of trying to convince myself that idea ha merit or is at least worth pursuing for myself i m tired of leaning solely on that because time after time i can t find anything in this world to look forward to anything to believe in to want maybe no one will read this post maybe everyone hyperbole will i know i don t have a flashy premise i know i m just some random person the average scroller doesn t have to get attached to or invested in because they may never hear from me again i know this question is gigantic and a colossal ask to any one person i just need something random aside fuck betrayal fuck blatant liar

looking at it i seem to be getting a completely different config finding shared hosting hard not having control

my account on a messaging app got hacked while there s nothing illegal there i used to be a very very shitty person and i ve written extensively about my terrible wrongdoing attempt to get therapy and make ammends charity work i know that this person is unlikely to leak my info they seem to be using my account to scam my friend out of money they re committing multiple felony and i doubt they want to leak info and get caught still all this make me feel extremely anxious

i ve turned this into my blog took it over people depend on me to be alive to function to live yet i hate this planet and pedophile politics religion racism and rapist and they are all allowed to live amongst u why because this god people belive in is cruel in the story book he gave up his son for u yet who ha god to either way i would like to ask him before i go to hell or reborn in this earth to relive this life in a different form my favorite part of the day is when i lay my head down and hope not to wake up the worst part of my day is waking up

poor sandra cantu amp the cantu family my prayer go out to them what a sick world we live in she wa only

had a blast at the getty villa but hate that she s had a sore throat all day it s just getting worse too

i ve been in therapy a few month cbt he mostly just advises me to try to stay in the present and mediate at first it seemed to help a little but the larger issue i have won t stop bothering me i make good money and i m not bad looking at all but i have basically zero friend and i haven t been on a date in over 0 year im and i ve been thinking about suicide a lot but i obviously can t tell my therapist or he ll get me emergency petitioned im really not sure what to do my anxiety and depression just seems to keep getting worse i can barely get myself to eat most day let alone exercise or try to talk to someone

hi all i m currently living through a nightmare situation and my anxiety is going through the roof i need some advice but mostly support me and my partner took a short trip to rome after a trip to england where i attended my sister s wedding we re both from the u and flew quite far i have a massive fear of flying but having my partner there to hold my hand helped a lot we were supposed to go back to the u today but were surprised at the airport when we were told we needed a negative covid test along with our vaccination card we ran downstairs to get tested and mine came back positive while hers came back negative the italian government required that i came with them and quarantine for seven day in a hotel my partner wasn t allowed to come we had to separate and she went on a different plane back home because there wa no reason to stay in rome for a ton of money when she wasn t allowed to see me at all i wa taken away in a van with dude in hazmat suit and placed in this quarantine hotel by myself the hotel isn t bad they give me plenty of food and water and it s free luckily for me to stay here but i can not stop cry i ve been here for hour and i just can t stop i m so scared i don t know when i ll be out of here so i can t time the end of my quarantine with another plane going back home and i m so so so scared i ll have to get home on my own somehow in a foreign country where people don t speak english very fluently i m stuck in this one room for six more day if i don t calm down somehow i think i ll lose my mind i may try some yoga and watch a many video on my phone a i can but i have so much time to do nothing but stew in my anxiety and cry and cry and cry i want to go home i feel so sad advice would be helpful and support a well i have a lot of people looking out for me but i know no one in italy at the moment so i feel very much alone right now and in case anyone is wondering my covid symptom aren t bad at all only symptom is a runny nose what s troubling me most right now is my extreme anxiety and stress

gnah inner tube exploded got ta get a taxi to work or be late

i really should be sleeping already but just can t seem to get to bed before the sun come up progress on sorting out life is slow hard

riry is being a pain and nomming on my hand should not have sprayed her with that cat nip mist a a joke now she is craaaazy

lissie sorry just saw the post signed up even before i finished reading lol these guy are gold feel bad for those who paid 00

missing my bff watching home and away it reminds me of her and me we lt it shout out to u court

i thought you would support me on this

change of plan we ordered mac instead time to hit the book

hi i have been using efexor and rexapin for depression and anxiety for a while before medication i used to eat so i wouldn t die but right now i want to eat everything especially sweet and carbohydrate food how do you control weight while taking medication waiting for your advice

when my depression go wayyy down deep i say okay diana you re going into dark mood what can i do to fix it

dein depression

mrjoe sorry to hear about the bike

so i have a stutter and i ve always been insecure about it i wa with my best friend and his friend and his friend made fun of someone s stutter because he s not aware i stutter this made me realize how easy it is to make fun of people behind their back i felt really bad that night and started cry when i got home cause it made me realize i didn t know who wa being real with me and i felt a tho i wa devalued flash to today and it wa still bugging me but i realized something those people aren t exclusively making fun of people like me but making fun of a lot more than a stutter people are made fun of for stutter tic religion sexuality lisp appearance and more i realized it s not my problem to worry about them and most people that make fun of others will show themselves with time and real nice people will never do that this made me content and i wa happy i forgot about it for the most part and went about my business but i posted something to reddit about it and someone said they had a similar experience and it lead to going into psychosis and being paranoid about people talking badly about them this made me almost have a panic attack when i wa eating with my parent because going psychotic is one of my biggest fear ever since then i ve felt so anxious it took a good 0 0 minute to calm myself down and not be on the edge of a panic attack ever since then i can t shake this thought but now for a different reason instead of worrying who s judging me i m worrying if i believe it i ve had this fear before but when it s bad it get so bad it feel like i m already psychotic even tho i m not and today wa one of those day it feel like the thought you believe if fact and i have terrible depersonalization this ha happened time before this and normally after a good sleep my anxiety tone down a bit but since this is a little different and it started out without that anxiety doe that mean i am going crazy instead of thinking anyone is judging me i keep asking myself if i think these specific people at my work would judge me idk why once again that wa cause ocd started to ob on it now but since i had this thought before ocd doe it mean i m going crazy or am i sane since i m worrying so much about it

ha lost his ring it s no where to be seen

hey my name luis and i ve lived a very hard life on march 0 0 my friend kidnapped me they tortured me they sexually assaulted me they beat me up they lighted my skin on fire and they shaved my hair and eyebrow off i thought my life couldn t get any worse after that traumatic experience but it actually did i ve been bashed i ve been portrayed my window have been smashed my property ha been stolen my mother car window have been smashed and i get made fun by people for being gay i wan na jump off and die

dangerm0use i think maybe you should get a couple more hour of sleep hon how productive can you be right now if ur dog tired i worry

funguyzz if you no find this guy dope and funny abeeg you never chop since yesterday or depression hook you plane just stop for air when no be say na magnito be pilot

for the past month i ve been struggling with crippling anxiety that s manifested into some terrifying physical symptom and panic attack i ve gone to the er three time due to panic attack causing me to believe that i wa having a heart attack or pulmonary embolism my head gi system and cardiovascular system have been really angry with me a of late i ve had zero motivation for anything however today i managed to clean my kitchen living room and bedroom i ve vacuumed dusted did the dish did the laundry put away thing and am going to clean my bathroom considering my health anxiety s made me believe i can t do any amount of work without dying i think this is a success i just needed to celebrate that fyi i started 0mg prozac almost three week ago and i believe a lot of my symptom are my body adjusting to that i start therapy a week and a half from now and i have a med check the following day

dangerm0use i think maybe you should get a couple more hour of sleep hon how productive can you be right now if ur dog tired i worry

back at the office still only day until another long weekend

just cause my depression not kicking my as like it use to don t mean i m not still dealing with it

someone understanding please if you re not i m sorry it ll only make it worse i don t want to vent about my problem because it ll make me break down i hope you understand

watchin i m not there and missing heath ledger

who turned the light on it will be time to get ip then

i never really noticed or i guess wa aware of my depression until a few year ago when i really started losing motivation and interest in my hobby i am a full time university student who work job and right now this depression ha taken a peak i live alone in a bedroom apartment with my dog my living situation is shit but it s not shit my apartment management renovating the entire building so i have drilling throughout the day which suck cause i work night and midnight so when i do need to sleep i can t i want to move out but i can t because i m literally paying cheaper than a bachelor s apartment anywhere else then there s school i don t even know why i m in school at this point i had a plan and dream for myself in high school and honestly my parent ruined that for me when i took my year off and chose to stay home just so i could move out they really made sure to make me feel like shit which just made me feel like shit throughout the four year of me being in university i m supposed to be graduating in spring and i wa stupid enough to go home during the reading week which created a huge confrontation between my mother and i which my dad got involved soon after and it went downhill from there i ended up leaving early and honestly after coming back from my parent house it s like my depression went on a downward spiral i used to have a little motivation to at least do the basic thing to help myself but i literally can t bring myself to do anything schoolwork is a drag and make me hate everyone one job i work at is completely great but i have had so many bad experience with being used by employer and fake employee that i m so pessimistic when i get there and i completely separate myself from other employee my second job is even worse because while i don t want to communicate in my first job my second job no one speaks english like literally the entire store is all people from another country it s kind of ridiculous because training is non existent i literally would be standing around if it wasn t for me having past experience working in the same kind of field the employee turnover is ridiculous and the supervisor when they can communicate to me only complain about how they are only working there so because of their visa but once they are full citizen they leave the hour go by so long and working in complete silence frustrating to the point where i had to start wearing earphone while i work and listen to music anyways after typing all of this i know i won t read it over so sorry for any mistake or thing that aren t clear i think honestly i m just too pessimistic and making excuse for myself but this feeling i have in me and the way everything in life is just so upsetting the breakdown and all the fucking cry like i m so over it and i just want to either be content or at least have some kind of method to get through all of this i m so exhausted and i feel like i keep getting the short end of the stick every time