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2,030 | From the UK: I’m so confused with my own mentality, one side of me loves to be alone and would avoid meeting and maintaining relationships with friends or putting any effort into these friendships at all. I guess this is because I don’t like to compromise on my daily routine or in life …so selfishly, if I meet with someone it will be because I want to. Which is rare. | I’m so confused with my own mentality, one side of me loves to be alone and would avoid meeting and maintaining relationships with friends or putting any effort into these friendships at all. I guess this is because I don’t like to compromise on my daily routine or in life …so selfishly, if I meet with someone it will be because I want to. Which is rare. | 10Labeling
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684 | From the U.S.: I have seen many psychiatrist and each one gives me a different diagnosis and that is making me confused. I am so depressed and have tried many Meds, IOP, and therapies with little to or no relief. I don’t know what to do or where to go next. | I am so depressed and have tried many Meds, IOP, and therapies with little to or no relief. I don’t know what to do or where to go next. | 3Magnification
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2,426 | From the U.S.: I am 43, in a LTR with a man who has full custody of his four kids ages 10, 14, 15, & 19. I have full custody of my three, ages 8, 9 & 12. We have been together nearly a year and things are completely committed and long term. We talk a lot about the future but mostly it seems to be framed in terms of a time when our kids are grown. He has met my kids and I have met all but the 14 year old on separate occasions. He says he is afraid to introduce me to the 14 year old because she has scared off women he’s dated in the past even made them cry. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,612 | I met my boyfriend nearly 2 years ago online. He is in the army and was soon to be sent to Afghanistan. He lived about 6 hours away from me but being that we just met I decided not to visit (for safety reasons). Once he was sent away, we became very close, we scheduled web cam dates, sent letters, emails, cards, etc. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,263 | I’m feeling completely blank and I’ve lost trust in myself. I don’t know what is wrong with me and things are suddenly becoming hard for me. I feel empty leaving home, dispirited working in office, and exhausted coming home. My colleagues are deceitful and I’m feeling like I’m in the wrong place. Am I too conservative to make myself overcome difficulties or am I in severe depression? | I’m feeling completely blank and I’ve lost trust in myself. I don’t know what is wrong with me and things are suddenly becoming hard for me. | 3Magnification
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1,936 | I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist since I was hospitalized in 2012 for a suicide threat. I’ve been treated for depression and anxiety since then and, because nothing has come up since about 2011, I have not opened up about other issues. But lately I can feel something coming on again. Every few months I would go through a few weeks to months of delusions, hallucinations and mood swings usually resulting in me sequestering myself from church, school, friends or whatever else I was involved in. I had a recurring experience of a demonic familiar, visiting other dimensions, and shadow people that seemed to stop when I got a custom tattoo on my back that is an alchemical symbol for demon warding. But it’s starting to slip back. I’m distracted, hear and see things that startle me, and recently put myself in the hospital again when I got so agitated that I cut myself deep enough to damage a tendon. My problem is I just can’t open up in person about exactly what is going on; I feel it coming back like someone following me down a sidewalk, like drowning placidly. I guess what worries me is that I know I’m going somewhere that will harm me but it is familiar and in many ways more real as if it replaces my daily life. Have you ever passed out when really drunk and just before you do you feel like you’re falling into a deep hole that will certainly kill you? It’s like that. I just can’t get myself to talk about it. In the past few weeks I have seen both of my doctors and didn’t feel like wasting their time with this. How can I open up before I no longer feel that it is necessary? It’s been more than ten years; it needs to end. | In the past few weeks I have seen both of my doctors and didn’t feel like wasting their time with this. | 5Personalization
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1,412 | From Columbia: I don’t actually know what’s wrong with me, or if there is, but for the past years i have lost interest in everything and I feel like by now nothing makes me sad, upset, angry, excited, happy or anything at all anymore. It seems like I don’t have emotions, but I don’t think i’m depressed. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,951 | So the issue is I don’t know what is wrong with me, I’ve been searching ever since I was 14 or 13 I don’t remember, it happened around that time. I was once a rowdy kid, in school i would interrupt class, I was craving attention i believe, I wrote on the back of a piece of paper that was meant for an assignment, of all of the reasons I’m fucked up, the teacher read it and gave it to the principal, they had a psychologist evaluate me, the duration of the evaluation i just looked at the security cameras and ignored his questions. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,835 | I was accused of murdering my cousin when she came to live with me and my mother, and stepfather. I was unwell and under care of a psychiatrist at the time which solely led to police unwilling to move their focus to anyone else. It was public, and things came out that I felt were unfair, both true and false. I’ve been obsessed with having my side of the story known. My life since then has been aimless and but for that goal. I now realize I lost 15 years trying and hoping for something that I had no evidence would make any difference anyway. That too, something of an epiphany further adding to my current state. That is one where I now feel no purpose or have any desire to do anything with life and feel it not too far away where it becomes unmanageable and I will commit suicide, albeit not wanting it. Can it be as simple as writing to a newspaper and saying “up yours if you think I am the killer, and all these other things you have read about me”? To the police who botched the whole investigation from day one, never to even give us a crime scene, ” I think you need to provide answers to my family, and show why I should still be a suspect when there is no evidence, not just against me, but not against anyone or anything. Nothing. There is zero but for my having mental health treatment from a doctor which I sought. I went for help. And ended up before the courts and newspapers because of it. I’ve never been able to get past not speaking out in my defense, and I guess also that no family did for me either. It was horrible and now its all for nothing over a decade later. How can I get a sense of drive, purpose in life. I care not for work or career of any kind now. I don’t fear consequences for myself. | That is one where I now feel no purpose or have any desire to do anything with life and feel it not too far away where it becomes unmanageable and I will commit suicide, albeit not wanting it. | 1Emotional Reasoning
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4,560 | 2 Weeks ago I was sitting on the couch watching tv. and all of a sudden I felt unreal. Like I was detached from reality.. my whole living room became a picture. and I started having a panic attack. And it has been straight like that ever since. I was sooo out of reality that I didnt even know what was happening around me. I have felt fake and unreal for 2 weeks now. It dosent go away.. and when I am having fun an trying not to think about it.. its always in the back of my mind that I am a schizo and that everything is crazy. Please help me ! I cant get an appointment with mental health until next week sometime. I don’t know what to do in the meantime.. I’m pacing around my house out of breath all day. I’m shaky and in a panic. it wont go away!! And my chest has been aching. Please halp me.. Also.. time has been flying by.. I remember everyting I have done.. but as soon as im done doing it its like it was fake and it didnt actually happen. I remember the visuals but not the feelings. I am horrified. | It dosent go away.. and when I am having fun an trying not to think about it.. its always in the back of my mind that I am a schizo and that everything is crazy. | 4Fortune-telling
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1,244 | I have been unhappily married for 11 years. I basically married the wrong person. We have 2 boys. I thought my husband represented all I wanted from life. My sex life consisted of all give and no take before. I had no intimacy with my husband, he was gone all week and only home on the weekends only to be miserable and grouchy and very non-intimate, but expected sex every night he was home and blatantly told me at the beginning of our relationship that sex was a very important part of a marriage. | null | 2No Distortion
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2,480 | From a 15 year old in the U.S.: I don’t know where to start or what to say, but I know I am depressed. I have been thinking for quite a while now that I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, or both. I imagine flashbacks and I talk to myself most of the time, specifically I have multiple voices in my head that are all their own person. | I don’t know where to start or what to say, but I know I am depressed. I have been thinking for quite a while now that I have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, or both. | 1Emotional Reasoning
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2,119 | From the U.S.: I’ll start from the beginning. I was an only child, adopted by an older couple, my parents were very strict, old fashioned and very hard on me, but I never felt abused. I had a lot of friends but no one close so I develop a custom. Whenever I was very sad or very angry I would lock myself in the bathroom and talk with myself in the mirror. The guy in the mirror would be calm and understanding and give me good advice. It was a good way for dealing with problems and by the time I finished college I stop doing it. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,631 | My girlfriend and I grew into a relationship that is very valued. I found us important and I believe she does as well. We both realized we had past relationships, but she mentioned that she had one that was a friends with benefits relationship. His name came up a few times. I found that she used to work with this guy and they remained friends. Up until right about here, I was not thinking much of anything about it. When I mentioned something about a “named guy” having a past with her and they still being friends, she replied “yeah, and I STILL friends with him…” (maybe red flag?). Anyways as time went on, there were get togethers at first with out me…then I asked if I could come to one where he’d be there. I went, and I really just got an entirely bad vibe. Long drawn out hugs followed by “I miss yous…”. I tried my best to voice my discomfort with the situation, but she was very defensive and dismissive, saying I have nothing to worry about and that it was just sex…(more than a few times). Needless to say, it has not been resolved. I feel resentful now of the entire scenario and worse, it seems like this guy just keep “showing up” places where either we or just her and her friends go. I’m losing patients, I don’t want to control her or somehow erase her past. I would like her to understand that I am uncomfortable with the whole thing and it has taken a life of its own in my head now. I can always break up with her to avoid feeling this way, but I love her. I just don’t feel like she cares. The only reason I can think of her dismissing it is because she is ok with it, there is no reason I shouldn’t be. I’m not sure she realizes that being defensive and dismissive makes it seem like there is something going on, or that she is saving. I try to stay calm, but I get very upset about it sometimes. She says she loves me and wants me, but this all makes it seem contradictory. | I just don’t feel like she cares. The only reason I can think of her dismissing it is because she is ok with it, there is no reason I shouldn’t be. | 8Mind Reading
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1,479 | I cried in church today during the baptism of a baby. It’s like all of the loneliness and insecurities inside of me came to the surface when I saw the happy parents and their adorable child in this joyous moment. Because I am so afraid I am never going to have the opportunity to experience this. That I will not find someone to spend the rest of my life with – and in enough time to have a child. | Because I am so afraid I am never going to have the opportunity to experience this. | 4Fortune-telling
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540 | So I have no close friends at the moment probably I know some people enough just to say hi but no close one and whenever I make any they go away I don’t know if its my personality the reason or the way I behave and the only friends I can gain are school friends since there is no other place I go to I can’t really stand myself alone. Thanks for helping. | So I have no close friends at the moment probably I know some people enough just to say hi but no close one and whenever I make any they go away I don’t know if its my personality the reason or the way I behave and the only friends I can gain are school friends since there is no other place I go to I can’t really stand myself alone. | 5Personalization
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1,029 | My dad calls me names. He has called me retarded, a runt, and dyslexic, and says I have chicken arms. My brother is special needs so he has some behavioral issues. In the morning I am supposed to make sure he gets breakfast and I can’t even knock and then go into his room without him yelling get out and calling me stupid or something. A behavior specialist told us to have him write 10 sentences if he is rude or does not follow directions. One time he yelled at me so I told him to write his sentences, but he said he only wanted to write 5. My mom has told me that if we do not follow through on this his behavior will just get worse, especially if I let him do what he wanted and only write 5 sentences. My dad was right there and didn’t want to hear my brother argue, so he said he could do 5. I got upset because its frustrating having to do deal with my brother’s bad behavior a lot. I went into my room and my dad came in and got within like 2 inches of my face and started screaming at me about how I needed to listen to him and stuff. I was scared because I actually thought he might hit me, but he didn’t. Ever since I was little my parents would yell and argue with each other all the time. Now they barely talk and don’t sleep in the same room and now my mom is cheating on my dad. I also have social anxiety and sometimes my mom tells me to go into the store and get something by myself, I ask her if she can do it. Instead of asking me what’s wrong or why I don’t want to, she screams and calls me a baby and says I need to learn to grow up. When we are at home she sometimes gets in these moods where she just screams for no reason. I just say mom and she’ll turn around and yell what do you want and look all irritated. | null | 2No Distortion
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174 | Hello, just to give some background, I’ve self-harmed and have gone to the hospital because of my injuries before. Ever since I was very young I’ve had strong urges to harm living things and even myself. I seem to like all things involving pain harm and blood. I’ve harmed myself several times in the past but not usually for suicidal tendencies but for fun, I try my best not to anymore. The thing that also concerns me is the fact I have terrible nightmares and very long and strange dreams/nightmares often having me hallucinate even after I wake up from the dream in the middle of the night. That has caused me to dread night time and being alone at home and the darkness (I sleep with a lamp on because of this). I’m often paranoid but I love to watch all things horror and dark so that doesn’t really help my situation either but I can’t seem to stop. I am always paranoids at night and feel as if something is out to get me and that would cause me to stare at something like the door or the mirror because I find it bad and I’d have a hard time falling asleep because of it sometimes as well. | I am always paranoids at night and feel as if something is out to get me and that would cause me to stare at something like the door or the mirror because I find it bad and I’d have a hard time falling asleep because of it sometimes as well. | 1Emotional Reasoning
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2,012 | From the U.S.: I’m 30 and have never experienced the feeling of being embarrassed or shame. I constantly read and see the word (embarrassment) in books or TV, but I have never identified with it. When growing up, I actually thought the feeling of anger (which I experience quite often) and the feeling of embarrassment were one and the same thing. I now realize from my past that in situations were I was supposed to feel embarrassed such as when I was bullied or ridiculed, I only felt anger. | I’m 30 and have never experienced the feeling of being embarrassed or shame. | 7Overgeneralization
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1,954 | My mom teaches at a private school and one of her students kept fighting with others. She asked me to go talk to him so I did. The more I talked to him the more signs of being a psychopath began to show. He claimed he had no remorse for hurting people. And he said calmly that he thought another kid was going to beat him up (A kid who I know personally would never do anything like that) and so he said he had to kill him. That kind of scared me but I made no comment in an attempt to not discourage him from talking to me. I talked to him some more and I remembered that previously I had heard about some kids thinking that only weak people care about others. So I asked him if he thought that was true and he said yes. I asked him if his mom cared about him (which I know that she does, I’m friends with her) and he said yes. I asked him if that meant she was weak and he said yes. He then continued to say that he would like his mom more if she didn’t fake committing suicide, which from the way he told it, sounding like she was going to commit suicide then stopped because she realized that would leave him and his 4 year old sister parent-less. (His father isn’t in the picture.The reason behind this is unknown. He believes he’s never met his father.) I attempted to explain that she just really cared about him and that she didn’t want him to end up living with people that were mean to him. I asked him if he would like living with people that were mean to him and he calmly replied, “I wouldn’t care. They’d probably have knives and I’d kill them.” I asked if he knew that when people died in real life they didn’t come back to life and he said that of course he knew that. He went on to say that he enjoyed hurting people. I knew that he couldn’t hurt me much so I told him that if he liked hurting people so much he could hurt me. So he hit me then burst into tears. I think he’s pretty far down the wrong track but still has hope. How do I help him? | null | 2No Distortion
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111 | Basically, I was extremely happy with my boyfriend for months and then we went on a holiday. On this holiday, I met his cousin and my boyfriend and I supported him at the time as he was going through friend issues. Consequently, my boyfriend became closer with him and so did I – to the point where we started introducing him to our friends that my boyfriend and I mutually share and are very close to. A few months later and the cousin has really been disrespectful towards me – he has been rude etc. Or thinking he can talk to me or treat me a certain way. To the point where it has caused me mass anxiety. Now, my boyfriend feels in the middle and I just want things to go back to the way they were before the holiday where he wasn’t involved so much in my life (I see him every weekend through the friends I’m close to). My boyfriend does not have it in his nature to cause conflict and therefore leaves the conflict and has not stood up for me. I have reached a point where I feel as if I cannot be with him unless he supports me and stands up for me. For example today he was at a braai and it was obvious I was clearly uncomfortable about him and I’ve made my boyfriend aware of this – yet he would laugh with him and make jokes with him while I didn’t want to talk to him. This is my boyfriends first relationship. Also, he is very emotionally manipulated – he gets scared of this cousin if he makes plans that the cousin isn’t invited to (like will he freak out scared) . I just want him out of my friend group and to see him as little as possible like a family member and not a close friend. I want to hope that maybe , he will even cut ties as much as he could with this person after seeing how badly he has treated me. I just want my number one person to understand that family shouldn’t be this involved in your friend group etc. And I want to feel like he’s in my corner. I don’t know what to do or say – is there any advice you could give me ? We are both 19. | I just want my number one person to understand that family shouldn’t be this involved in your friend group etc | 6Should statements
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1,715 | My uncle has severe paranoid Schizophrenia. His sister may have been mentally ill – she had lifelong substance abuse/addiction problems. Their brother molested them all during childhood. Their father was an abusive alcoholic. My great uncle had two “break downs,” the second one left him “never the same again.” (No actual diagnosis.) | null | 2No Distortion
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155 | I’ve recently received a microphone in the mail that I had boughten about a week ago. Trying it out, I feel so scared and distracted. I feel as if the more I express myself, the more frightened I am to express myself, and I think it’s all because of what I did when I was in middle school. Back in middle school, I used to be a huge cyberbully, and I used a microphone to express such meanness. Now I regret such actions, and that makes me too scared to say anything again. | I feel as if the more I express myself, the more frightened I am to express myself, and I think it’s all because of what I did when I was in middle school. | 1Emotional Reasoning
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441 | So before I met my fiancée, she actually dated a famous child actor, whom she had sex with the first time meeting him. But my real problem is she met a singer of a band that she idolizes at a bar one night after his show. They talk and then he follows her to the bathroom and they begin. Now I loved this guy’s music, now it makes me sick to hear it. I saw photos of her just swooning over him. She did whatever he wanted within an hour or so of meeting him, in a bathroom. I can’t stop comparing myself, I hate that she threw herself at him. And I feel I will never be the type of man she truly adores, not a talented and poetic, famous musician. She gladly gave herself to this man with such a short time. Like a groupie and even it being before knowing me it eats me up. Please give me some sort of exercise to cast out the demons I’m putting in my own head. I love her but feel she is settling. | And I feel I will never be the type of man she truly adores, not a talented and poetic, famous musician | 8Mind Reading
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1,680 | Ever since i was young, I’ve had brutal homicidal fanaticise. All i think about is killing. It can be kids, adults, dogs, i don’t care. It’s a sick joy. I’ve hurt animals before and i would again. I don’t want power or control, i didn’t have a traumatising childhood and I’m a happy person. I get depressed and anxious when i think about it and don’t do anything for a long time I’ll lay in bed for days and just feel numb or anxious. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to tell my parents in order to get help. I collect knives so they’ll probably take them away. I don’t have any friends or anyone i can trust. No one knows i feel this way. I don’t feel angry, I’m not at all a serious person, i just laugh at horror movies or when im in pain. I can’t keep waiting in alley ways waiting for cats to kill i need something. It’s just getting worse. I’m 16 and want to wait til I have my own place until I do anything. Otherwise ill most likely be caught. I’ve thought out ways to get away with it for years. I can control myself now but I don’t think I will be able to for ever. What should I do? | I can control myself now but I don’t think I will be able to for ever. | 4Fortune-telling
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484 | I am a senior in college and during the second semester of my freshman year, I met a guy in my chemistry lab. Initially, I hated him because he seemed to act somewhat pompous. But at the beginning of my sophomore year, we began to develop a relationship. Initially, we were just friends and I never really felt any kind of intimate feelings for him. As with any other attractive guy I’ve met, however, I was somewhat shy around him at first but started to feel more comfortable as I got to know him better. But still, we were strictly friends. It wasn’t until the summer between my sophomore and junior year that I realized that I had feelings for him. We spent a lot of time together, as we were both taking the same summer school class. During this summer, I found out a lot about him. I noticed that he didn’t speak about his dad a lot, if at all, and he liked to garden, cook, and was very meticulous about how he looked. I attributed these qualities to the possibility that he was a very proper gentleman, as he surprisingly turned out to be due to the fact that I used to hate him. One of my good female friends met him and immediately told me that he was gay. I disagreed with her. I had remembered him telling me about a girl he dated back in high school, so I assumed him to be straight. But then he had also mentioned that the reason why they broke up was because he told her that they got along better as friends. I’ve heard this excuse from other guys, so it didn’t hint to me that he was gay. During my junior year, he told my aforementioned female friend that he was gay, and she relayed the information to me. My first reaction was denial. I think that I had so severly developed feelings for him, almost on an unconscious level, that I couldn’t bear to believe that he was gay. Later that week though, he told me face-to-face. After that, our friendship didn’t fall apart and I wasn’t distressed. In fact, our friendship strengthened and for a while things were great. I have told him several times that I have feelings for him, and he just laughs it off. I’m not sure if he realizes that I’m serious. | I think that I had so severly developed feelings for him, almost on an unconscious level, that I couldn’t bear to believe that he was gay. | 3Magnification
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2,214 | I was diagnosed with BPD, GAD and MDD a few years ago, and different therapists have speculated about quite a few other disorders without officially diagnosing any of them. I’ve both read and been told that anxiety can cause physical pain in the back, stomach and chest. I’ve been suffering from extreme pains in my back and chest, along with intense burning, constant restlessness and inability to relax, and stomach pain/discomfort and nausea for at least five years or longer, and they do seem to intensify when I’m suffering from higher anxiety or a panic attack. But the pain is so intense some days I can barely get out of bed – it makes basic, daily life a debilitating experience. Can this all be attributed to anxiety? Or is there some physical problem that could cause these same symptoms? And also, if it is just anxiety, what could be done to deal with these extreme pains – progressive muscle relaxation and that sort of thing haven’t managed to provide any relief. I can’t remember the last time I was relaxed or completely free of these pains. (age 23, from US) | I can’t remember the last time I was relaxed or completely free of these pains. | 9Mental filter
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1,219 | Hi. So I was diagnosed with Bipolar about 5 years ago. I haven’t been medicated in a while due to the fact I don’t have the funds to meet with a psychiatrist to get the correct prescription. I’ve been doing well without medication and I don’t believe I am experiencing a high or low mood, but I’ve started to notice something else that has become a major concern for me. For the past few weeks I’ve been hearing voices that aren’t my own. These voices do not speak to me, they sound more so like someone else talking behind my own thoughts. If I try to focus on the voices when they appear I can’t, they slowly fade away so I can’t really get an idea of what they say. These voices appear during the day and at night while laying down so they arent specific to a tired state. I have never experienced psychosis or hallucinations before and from my knowledge if hallucinations were to appear wouldn’t they be from depression or mania, not a pretty stable mood? Could there be another cause for these voices I’m hearing? I’ve been rather stressed recently due to college starting again but that is the only change in my routine/life recently. My main concern is that these voices aren’t a cause of my bipolar but a whole new illness (maybe schizophrenia) starting to present itself. | My main concern is that these voices aren’t a cause of my bipolar but a whole new illness (maybe schizophrenia) starting to present itself. | 7Overgeneralization
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1,827 | This is a long story so I apologize, but I really need some answers. My brother has been excited to go to Lollapalooza all year. He was finally going to go this past Tuesday. Well we got a call from him after only a day of him being there saying he wanted to come home. He was ballistically crying on the phone and saying he “felt the power of the antichrist.” I decided to drive to Chicago with my parents to get him. When we arrived, he was sitting on a bench without his bags. My dad asked him why he didn’t have his stuff and he said he gave it all away to his friends (it was all his clothing and his wallet.) He also said he threw his phone in the river because it was giving him fear. He then launched into a story about how secret servicemen were hunting him down because of his belief in God. The rest of the night, he continued talking about how God was giving him all these “tests” and how he felt like he was in a scavenger hunt. The next day his behavior got worse. He got up very early and started singing loudly (very unusual for him) then started walking around the city with no shirt, no shoes, and a guitar. | null | 2No Distortion
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2,087 | I’m a 19 year old male who used to smoke pot when I was 15 here and again, and it never had an effect on me. 10 months ago I had my first panic attack out of no where and had an anxiety attack every night for 3 days. My mum was on vacation and it was just me and my girlfriend. After 2 days my conditioned worsened to the point where I was laying in bed shaking, afraid to leave the house, feeble and hazey. My neighbour took me to a doctor and he prescribed me with Citalopram. The first day I took it, I had a high of where I said ‘oh my god I feel back to normal’ for about an hour, then after; a low of where I was crying which faded out during the evening. I took my second tablet the next day of where the same thing happened but I decided to come off them. 10 months have passed and my anxiety is extremely at bay, however.. my brain feels re-wired. I feel (as the internet describes) depersonalized (DP/DR) it started off terrible being the only thing on my mind but now I don’t think about it and I am able to live my life. However.. I still feel different, as if something has changed the way I feel and view reality. Although I can ignore it and get on with my life; I still feel like this ‘not real feeling’ is a black cloud that has improved but may not ever go away. Ever since that panic attack, reality hasn’t seemed the same since and I always yearn to go back to when my life was.. ‘normal’. I know I’m not crazy and I don’t have thoughts of suicide, but a lot of the time I’m wondering why I don’t feel as happy as I should. I feel great after the gym and eating healthy sure; but constantly my mind is saying ‘you feel great.. but not as great as you used to, there must be something you’re not doing’ what do you think has happened? Do you think my mind has gone through so much trauma that it’s re-wired itself or taken a different course? – thank you. | I feel (as the internet describes) depersonalized (DP/DR) it started off terrible being the only thing on my mind but now I don’t think about it and I am able to live my life. However.. I still feel different, as if something has changed the way I feel and view reality. Although I can ignore it and get on with my life; I still feel like this ‘not real feeling’ is a black cloud that has improved but may not ever go away. | 9Mental filter
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379 | My boyfriend of two years is a hypochondriac. Before we met and started dating he was, as he describes, full blown delusional and utterly convinced that he had non existent medical issues. Though he is much better than a few years ago, he periodically projects his delusions of non existent medical issues on to me, claiming that I have an eating disorder, etc. as well on to himself. He won’t seek professional help or counseling out of fear of humiliation and refuses medication (he can be very stubborn). How do I help someone going through something like this? | null | 2No Distortion
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73 | From a young teen in the U.S.: I think i may be depressed or have some sort of depressive disorder. No one believes me when i try to explain it to them. Around march 14th or 15th of this year i was hospitalized because i was exhausted for no reason, i was drinking water but wasn’t staying hydrated. I was also not eating, i was always feeling down and sad, and i couldn’t sleep at night. I was diagnosed with insomnia and my parents just used that to make jokes out of. | No one believes me when i try to explain it to them. | 7Overgeneralization
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1,476 | Is it possible to get rid of thoughts and silent my mind? Because some of my thoughts disturb me. I don’t want them but they are always there. Sometimes I even think I actually desire them or why else they would be always on my mind? I think they might be a little bit similar to intrusive thoughts but I’m not sure. There are the normal thoughts such as randomly thinking of jumping out of window or slashing my wrist while cutting vegetables. I’m used to them and I’m not worried because I know for 99% that I won’t do any of it. Only if it’s to prevent my family’s grief and hurt. | Sometimes I even think I actually desire them or why else they would be always on my mind? | 7Overgeneralization
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1,925 | I have been with my partner for six years. We live together and still have fun together, but we have sex very sparingly. This has been the case since we moved in together three years ago. However, I feel that when we lived apart we had sex because we felt like we were “supposed to” more than because we felt inspired to. That could just be my take. | However, I feel that when we lived apart we had sex because we felt like we were “supposed to” more than because we felt inspired to. | 6Should statements
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2,233 | She was hospitalized at age of 35 because she took a chair to my head. She was in Forsyth Psychiatric Hospital for 3 weeks and was diagnosed with Paranoia Schizophrenia. Since then she has been hospitalized 2 more times. She has not taken medication and has made life hell for herself, her daughter and her brother and sisters and myself. We are at our wits end. We don’t know how to get help for her. I am her means of support and I live on SS so needless to say I am losing my home because I can no longer keep her up and make my house payments. I cannot get her on disability because the SS doctors will not say she is Paranoid and Schizophrenic. They interview her for 15 minutes and say she is fine. I do not know why I cannot get them to use her past records from the psychiatric hospitals. Please help me. She has no money to see a doctor and no money to buy medicine. She is always making people around her mad and fighting with her siblings. She keeps me upset. She is writing a letter every night to an old boyfriend because she believes he can straighten her family and friends out if they don’t do like she thinks is right. She will take it all the way to the post office because she thinks someone will get it if she puts it in the mail. I am afraid for my safety sometimes and hers. I really need some help. Please if you know what I can do please help me. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,138 | I have been very good friends with my boyfriend for 15 years. We started dating 2 years ago. Since he was my good friend he knows every single detail about my past. I was very young and dumb and have done a lot sexual experiences with about 25 -30 partners. | I was very young and dumb and have done a lot sexual experiences with about 25 -30 partners. | 10Labeling
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35 | From a young woman in Latvia: I should start by saying that I have never posted a question online before. I’m usually pretty logical and level headed and can resolve issues on my own. But this one has been tormenting me and I cannot seem to figure things out. My mother who is in her mid 50s has been teaching her entire life at one school. It’s the school me and my sister graduated from as well. Over a decade ago. But it’s what I know, what I’m familiar with. | But this one has been tormenting me and I cannot seem to figure things out | 9Mental filter
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2,524 | I used to get many strange looks for the things I did, like smash a bird on the beach with a rock when I was younger, blow fish up with fireworks, laugh when a rock was thrown at a bird and broke its wing, and I also used to abuse pets a lot as well. I used to beat the dog, I would choke my pet hamster until his eyes started bugging out, stuff like that. | null | 2No Distortion
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2,550 | From the U.S.: I was sexually assaulted from the time I was 11 to the time I ran away from home at 17. I was kicked out of my family’s home, and sent to a place where I was verbally abused. (Told I was worthless, useless, and never would amount to anything, also accused of being a liar). After that I was sent back to my mom’s and sexually abused again. I tried many times to commit suicide and failed. I’ve been in an overnight mental hospital as well. I ran away from home as soon as I could. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,561 | I feel that my husband refuses to live in reality. For example, we are working on an apartment right now. Other people are also working on the same apartment. The other people have used his tools and thrown some of his things away when they were cleaning up. He knows that they do this. He doesn’t discuss it with them. He just continues to leave things out because “they should know better”. And then when, lo and behold, something important gets thrown away or misused, he gets upset. This is a common pattern with him. Another example is something he did with his dog. His dog would always get into the garbage can when we left the house. We tried several methods of keeping him out of the garbage can, but nothing worked. So I knew that if I left something particularly “tasty” in the garbage can, I needed to take the garbage out or do something because the dog was going to get into the can. My husband wouldn’t do that. He would just leave the “tasty” garbage there and then get mad every time because “the dog shouldn’t do that”. | I feel that my husband refuses to live in reality. | 5Personalization
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2,017 | Despite my numerous attempts to reach out to my parents for support about my mental health, I am constantly dismissed and told it’s ‘not that bad’ and I’m treated like I have to ‘just get over it’ and receive no compassion or support. It’s like they could care less about me at all. I’d like to seek treatment for previously diagnosed mental illness along with ones I suspect I may have, but I feel like I won’t be able to be successful with my parents constantly making me feel like my illnesses are made-up or just an excuse. None of my attempts to make them understand do any good, they just see them as more excuses as to why I can’t function ‘like an adult.’ I approached my mom recently to express concern that I may have dependent personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, and she basically just waved me off and dismissed my concerns. It really tore me up and disappointed me. I already suffer from depression and anxiety. | I’d like to seek treatment for previously diagnosed mental illness along with ones I suspect I may have, but I feel like I won’t be able to be successful with my parents constantly making me feel like my illnesses are made-up or just an excuse. | 4Fortune-telling
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2,045 | I’ve been with the current bf for 2 years. He started not paying attention to me & neglecting me. We don’t live together. 2 months ago I started texting & chatting with my ex in a non flirtatious way because I needed someone to talk to that knows me & my life situations. My current bf went out of town & kept blatantly choosing things other than me that were hurtful. Ex invited me to a xmas party so I told him I’d go as friends. I got too drunk & the ex fingered me. I didn’t even kiss him. I stopped him before things went to far & had him get me an uber ride home. | My current bf went out of town & kept blatantly choosing things other than me that were hurtful.oo drunk & the ex fingered me. I didn’t even kiss him. I stopped him before things went to far & had him get me an uber ride home. | 9Mental filter
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4,656 | I feel fine when alone. I’m confident and do my chores at home watch Television.. listen to radio, water my plants, read books,.. But as soon as i step out of my house it feels as if im being watched by all these people around me.. they think im wrong.. im not a nice person.. It sort of haunts me.. I have a few friends and i try a lot to keep them as my friends. Helping them out by going out of my way.. staying outside home even after curfew time so that i can help them with their projects.. And even if im busy working in the office and my friends want some help be it of a small nature.. i keep my work aside and help them out first.. I let people say what they want about me. i feel very scared of being misjudged.. And that’s what happens sometimes.. or may be all the time.. I don’t know how to stop worrying and get back my confidence.. | But as soon as i step out of my house it feels as if im being watched by all these people around me.. they think im wrong.. im not a nice person.. It sort of haunts mei feel very scared of being misjudged.. And that’s what happens sometimes.. or may be all the time.. I don’t know how to stop worrying and get back my confidence.. | 8Mind Reading
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247 | From a teen guy in the U.S.: I’ve always been uncomfortable with affection. When I feel like I’ve been wronged I can completely cut someone out of my life and could care less about them. Even some of my close relatives. I realized that I don’t really care at all about things I should care about. I realized today that if my parents were to sit me down and tell me that they didn’t love me at all, I would absolutely not mind at all. I wouldn’t be hurt at all and the first thought that would come to mind would be, if I could still live in my house. I don’t think this is normal or is it? | I realized that I don’t really care at all about things I should care about. | 6Should statements
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323 | It’s so weird. I don’t see anything exciting about living anymore. I feel like something is missing? I just can’t get excited over anything anymore. Someone wants to pay me 20 dollars for a bad drawing? Great. I’m actually doing well in school? Fantastic. I have a whole weekend to do whatever I want? Awesome. | null | 2No Distortion
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2,128 | From a teen guy in the U.S.: I have had what one would call a rough life. Recently my step-dad and mom have been fighting and it’s becoming almost everyday. And I am scared about what’s going to happen. I’ve already ended up being abused in my step-grandmother’s house. Then was stuck in a hallway and slept in a sleeping bag where I would go to school smelling like mildew and ammonia. I have been picked on a lot. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,296 | Over the past year I’ve been starting to have panic attacks, or at least that’s what I think they are. They’re extremely sporadic (two in October, another in November, then nothing until one in April and a very bad one in May; haven’t had any others since). | null | 2No Distortion
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2,320 | I have an aunt who is constantly putting me down and saying hurtful things to me. She has always been difficult, but the verbal abuse has gotten worse since Mom passed away a few years ago. I think my aunt feels that because I lost the one person who was always on my side that she can treat me whatever way she pleases. | I think my aunt feels that because I lost the one person who was always on my side that she can treat me whatever way she pleases. | 8Mind Reading
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566 | From the U.S.: My older sister (first child) has only worked apx 12 years in her entire life and is almost 60. We had a traumatic childhood with an alcoholic mother, father died when she was almost 4. She never worked as a teen as my brother and I did, she stole mom’s credit cards and maxed them, ran up phone bill talking to boyfriend who was deployed to Guam. In short never had any initiative to support herself. | In short never had any initiative to support herself. | 7Overgeneralization
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395 | I’m not in a constant state of sadness, but I have moments where I feel very sad, sometimes even suicidal. I recently asked my parents if I could get a therapist, but I only mentioned stress because I thought they would be too worried if I mentioned depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. However, I did end up telling my principal two days ago that I think about harming myself about once a week, which means she told my dad that I do. He’s in another country, so he’s not addressing it directly; he has just been writing more emails to me. I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago (about a month after school started), and ever since then, I feel very awkward when talking to anyone besides the people I have known for two years. I’m always unconsciously thinking about what to say next. I know I have a lot of friends at school, but it just does not feel comfortable talking to any of them (this is my first year going to this school). Before I broke up with my boyfriend, I was just shy in talking to some people, not awkward. I am theorizing that breaking up with him has done something to my conscience, but I’m not entirely sure why. | I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago (about a month after school started), and ever since then, I feel very awkward when talking to anyone besides the people I have known for two years. I am theorizing that breaking up with him has done something to my conscience, but I’m not entirely sure why. | 5Personalization
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1,557 | I’m 16 and for years now I’ve been dealing with my parents hurting me emotionally. First off I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend and the only boyfriend I’m ever allowed to have is the guy I’m going to marry. I’m a bright young lady with big dreams. I wish I would go out and observe the world and soak it in while I’m still young, except I cannot do that because my parents never let me leave the house. They let me get my license but I’m not allowed to drive alone, I have to have my mother by my side everywhere I go. I’ve tried everything, she will never let me out of her sight unless I’m at school. | null | 2No Distortion
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531 | From the U.S.: I grew up a straight A student but a few things happened 5 years ago and I’m not the same. Anger is the only emotion I can feel deeply everything else feels like a shadow of what I should feel. I laugh at my own misfortunes and when my anyone cries to me I do what a normal person would do but its alien to me. The women and drugs no longer thrill me and I want to be the man I should be. I just want to know what’s wrong with me and what should I do | I grew up a straight A student but a few things happened 5 years ago and I’m not the same. Anger is the only emotion I can feel deeply everything else feels like a shadow of what I should feel. | 0All-or-nothing thinking
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280 | From a teen in the U.S.: I’m not sure if I have D.I.D. or not. Most of the time I feel like I’m in a VR headset and that can lead to panic attacks. sometimes I see myself through a security camera almost. I have been hearing different voices and sometimes I don’t know where I am or who I’m with. I’ve seen my handwriting change multiple times while I’m writing. | null | 2No Distortion
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2,371 | So basically my entire childhood has been deeply traumatic. Since I was 6, I lived with my abusive mother (my parents are divorced). I’ve been chronically depressed for as long as I can remember and I have been spiritually interactive as you could say. From age 7, I could see demons in my waking and sleeping hours (Not to mention I had two childhood friends witch happened to be very terrifying demons that have haunted me for basically my entire life). I have had countless interactions with demons and angels. I have attempted suicide 4 times now. Some of the time I sort of laps into a insane mood when I am alone (about once every week or two) witch is full of uncontrollable shaking, self harm, very sadistic and psychotic thinking patterns, uncontrollable crying, rage and basic psychotic disorder symptoms. I am constantly paranoid and I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, insomnia and compulsive self hate. Keep in mind that I am currently 13. I have received little to no help with my mental problems and have a horrible habit of shoving everything down and hiding what I really feel (therefore my emotions are excessively raw and can overwhelm me at the slightest probing from my mother or basically anyone). I 100% consider myself to be unstable, but I am not sure about insane. Do you think I have Schizophrenia or Psychoses? Thanks for your time! | I am constantly paranoid and I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, insomnia and compulsive self hate. | 9Mental filter
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2,049 | When I’m talking to people I feel like I’m not really there mentally. It’s a sad, hopeless feeling like I can’t connect with people or maybe don’t want to. I’m known to be a very quiet person and have very few friends. When I was younger I really wanted to have a best friend but didn’t really know how so I never did. When I felt like I had a good friendship with someone they always seemed to have found someone else that was more fun. Regarding friendships, I feel like I’ve given up even trying to connect because it’s never worked for me before. | It’s a sad, hopeless feeling like I can’t connect with people or maybe don’t want to. I’m known to be a very quiet person and have very few friends. When I was younger I really wanted to have a best friend but didn’t really know how so I never did. When I felt like I had a good friendship with someone they always seemed to have found someone else that was more fun. Regarding friendships, I feel like I’ve given up even trying to connect because it’s never worked for me before. | 5Personalization
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4,523 | I’ve been having problems for a while. I am highly disorganized, I have a fear of social situations but have a strong desire for them at the same time if that makes sense. I’ve tried being in talk therapy for those issues, not that much has come of it, however I’ve always been too scared to tell my therapist about other issues. I sometimes see images in the corner of my eye, a face in a window and then its gone, or a person standing on the side of an empty road and when I look in the mirror, nothing. I’m not sure if I’m seeing things or just thinking I see things, I’m concerned with being diagnosed with schizophrenia or something like that. I’m high functioning, about a 3.2gpa in college and I keep burying the issue in fear that treatment might intrude in my school life. I also hear music sometimes and have taken to writing it down as compositions, would this be a hallucination as well? I don’t compose the music, I literally hear it as if it were being played in the same room as me, would this be a symptom of something? | I am highly disorganized, I’m concerned with being diagnosed with schizophrenia or something like that | 10Labeling
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2,155 | I have just begun my freshman year of college. Over the summer, my best guy friend and I realized we had feelings for each other and decided to begin a relationship. Even though we were going to different universities, we felt like we had nothing to lose and didn’t want to look back and wonder what it would’ve been like. We have been dating for four months now and have been able to visit several times. I am extremely happy with him, and I know the feeling is mutual. | null | 2No Distortion
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225 | My friends all say I don’t reply enough. I always cancel plans and ignore calls. It sounds awful and I feel guilty, but I can’t seem to care about my relationships with people either romantically or otherwise. I get bored with people after a couple of weeks. I’m not particularly nervous or anxious to be around people and I’m popular enough in school. I’m not scared as to why I’m alone, I know I don’t have to be, I’m scared as to why I’m choosing it. I hate telling people personal details. I feel uncomfortable telling my mum I feel sick or have a headache. It’s just those little things and I can’t understand. I don’t know why I act like this. I seem to breeze through each day tired and numb. I barely sleep. (From Dublin) | It sounds awful and I feel guilty, but I can’t seem to care about my relationships with people either romantically or otherwise. | 6Should statements
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916 | From a woman in the U.S.: I didn’t get my first best friend till I was 19. Me an ENFP, her an INFJ. She is reserved, introverted, grew up in devout Christian family, where everything is brushed under the rug. Well off. Book smart. I was your stereotypical extrovert. Silly, spontaneous. My family is open, but loud, chaotic, and had no structure. Poor. Street smart. | She is reserved, introverted, grew up in devout Christian family, where everything is brushed under the rug. Well off. Book smart. I was your stereotypical extrovert. Silly, spontaneous. My family is open, but loud, chaotic, and had no structure. Poor. Street smart. | 10Labeling
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1,924 | My friend and I have been talking and he tells me that he’s afraid one day he will become a different person that is inside of him. He’s afraid that other thing/person would try to kill someone. No one he loves, but he’s afraid that if he lets out his emotions the thing will take over and he will snap one day for a short time and do something irreversible. How do I help him and what’s wrong with him? Does he have a personality disorder or does he just not know how to process his emotions? He swears he would never hurt me and I’m not afraid that he will, but I would still like to see him not kill someone or feel like he has no control over something inside of him. I asked if he would kill animals if that were to happen and he said probably (he normally loves animals) What do I do to help him? I care deeply for him and would like to get some incite as to what is happening. | No one he loves, but he’s afraid that if he lets out his emotions the thing will take over and he will snap one day for a short time and do something irreversible. | 4Fortune-telling
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1,985 | Through mental health treatment, I’m being told that what’s been my reality for the last 10 years or so is not reality. I don’t really know how to cope with this. It’s making me question literally everything, and I feel completely overwhelmed about learning what’s real and what isn’t. How do I deal with this? | null | 2No Distortion
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378 | From a teen in Russia: Hi. I’m an 18 year old professional/competitive athlete[Runner/figure skater.] Past few months I’ve been feeling worse than ever. Well, bad might not be the word rather empty. I’m good at communicating so I don’t have anxiety or anything of the sort and I LOVE the way I feel after training, it’s when I don’t feel empty but rather alive. The only other thing making me “snap out” are dogs, which I cannot own due to the way things are in Europe. Ik this is American forum but I have nowhere else to ask. | null | 2No Distortion
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222 | Hi, I’m about to be 15 years old and since I think maybe when I was 12 years old I’ve been pretending that I’m a fictional character. I sometimes when I’m sitting in class i pretend to have random conversations to characters I made up in my head I don’t talk out load I just talk in my head, I try to snap out of it sometimes because I miss writing notes down off the board it really interrupts my school work. | null | 2No Distortion
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854 | More and more I find I have been having murderous thoughts. I don’t even have to know the people I kill in my mind, sometimes they are complete strangers but I still feel a specific rage towards them that compels me to think of their gruesome end. My thoughts also progress in gruesomeness. For example around 5th grade my thoughts would just be putting someone in a punching bag and punching them till all your anger is out. But around 8th grade my thoughts were more along the lines of like cutting each finger one by one and slowly and dipping the person’s hand into salt water to increase the pain. And in 9th grade, my thoughts were more like cutting and scraping the living flesh off the bones while the person is alive and fully conscious. Most of the times I even laugh at my thoughts because I can see them suffer. My friends think I need help. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,118 | From a teen in the U.S.: So whenever I start to like someone and they begin to actually get close to me I begin to dislike them or find flaws and then everything they do becomes annoying and I can’t stand to be around them. This happens to people I have crushes on. This person I liked admitted they had feelings for me and I thought I had feelings for them but I just began to feel annoyed. Please help, what’s wrong with me | This person I liked admitted they had feelings for me and I thought I had feelings for them but I just began to feel annoyed. | 0All-or-nothing thinking
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890 | I love my dad but he scares me a lot. I feel like I’ve kind of brought a lot of the anger my dad has upon myself, but it’s still hard for me to stay at home any longer. When I get in trouble it’s for legitimate reasons (I smoke and drink and I often get caught), but he gets so angry that it terrifies me, and I honestly just want to drink more to forget that he’s there. | I feel like I’ve kind of brought a lot of the anger my dad has upon myself, but it’s still hard for me to stay at home any longer. | 5Personalization
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1,426 | From a 13 year old in the U.S.: Hi, I struggle with what seems like depersonalization but I can’t find anything like my case on the website. I don’t take any drugs and I haven’t had any really bad anxiety since fifth grade. However, I feel detached from reality. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,526 | Hello, lately, my mom has been talking to a colleague from her work place on the phone(messages). I’ve seen it a couple of times by accident, I saw hearts emoji’s and kisses, that kind of stuff. But recently I took her phone and I searched for proof because I thought it was impossible and I found those conversations and some naughty pictures from that man. I don’t know what to do, I want to talk to her but this never happened before so I’m kind of scared, I don’t know how she’s going to react. | I don’t know what to do, I want to talk to her but this never happened before so I’m kind of scared, I don’t know how she’s going to react. | 8Mind Reading
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2,073 | From the U.S.: I’m 19 and have made noises or repetitive movements for as long as I can remember. But, they aren’t persistent. The longest “tic” I’ve had lasted from when I was at least 5 up to age 13. I used to flair my arms toward my shoulders before doing anything. The only reason I can think that made me stop was just because I grew out of it. | null | 2No Distortion
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539 | My boyfriend of almost 2 years, who is 27 years old, has a baby with a previous girlfriend. I didn’t find out until a couple months into our relationship when his ex-girlfriend sent me a message via facebook and told me. I, completely shocked, confronted my boyfriend about it and he cried and said he hadn’t told anyone about it and didn’t know what to do. He said he was going to tell me when “the time was right” but he didn’t want to lose me. He apologized (and still does) for being selfish and that if I didn’t want to stay with him he would understand. At that point I was already completely in love with him and wanted to be with him. | null | 2No Distortion
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139 | Hey, I sometimes feel like there is a weight on my chest a heavy rock as if someone if pressing my chest I feel anxious and uneasy, sometimes I can’t even give a name to my feelings and I sit there wondering what do I have, I have some symptoms of OCD for example in a shop I so idk touch dresses and if I touch one with my left hand it has to be touched by my right hand as well in the same manner there are many more examples of such things but I have never had an anxiety attack. What is this? | null | 2No Distortion
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1,755 | From the U.S.: Five years ago my younger step-sister and I had a falling out over something that I really thought was just a misunderstanding. From the beginning I told her I wanted to repair the relationship only to be completely shut out by her… no communication via social media, email or text. Throughout the years I have continued to send tentative contact her way and have been ignored, even after the birth of her son which I thought would soften our relationship. Because she is my step-sister and I am not around her mother and my dad very often we almost never accidentally cross-paths. The few times we have she has been friendly to me, as if nothing is wrong. She encourages I interact with her son and calls me Auntie to him. I always see this as signs of hope for us, but when I reach out to her I get nothing back. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,556 | I don’t know why. We live together and have two beautiful sons,but I’m just get so angry and irritated when she’s around me. We have had a very rocky 4 years together, but lately I just can’t understand why I am so mean to her. I don’t like spending time with her, hearing her voice, etc. I love her and I see her definitely see her trying to get better, but I just can not bear it. I thought that with the constant bickering that I just lost interest, but I think its deeper than that. I don’t hate her, after yesterday and I sat and thought about her crying I just felt bad. She’s not an angel either, but I do realize that I tend to be a little cold to her. We’ve had so much fighting in the past that everything thing she does or says to me, I take as an attack and its not necessarily so. Somedays I want to be with her, some days I want her out of my life. I’ve never been professionally diagnosed with depression, but I think with me being in the Navy and always gone; I tend to take it out her whether she deserves it or not. Please help, I want to be better for our kids, but can you help identify what it is about her that just grinds my gears? or is it just me being plain old mean me? | Somedays I want to be with her, some days I want her out of my life. | 0All-or-nothing thinking
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821 | I don’t really know what to call it because it’s not so much an urge but just something i want to feel. I don’t have any mental illnesses at least not diagnosed professionally and i come from a loving middle-class family. For maybe a year or so now I’ve had the curiosity or want to know the feeling of pure hatred towards me. I want to kill somebody for the sole purpose of watching their family mourn and know that i killed them just to know how that feels. I want to torture somebody although i can’t see myself doing that. It’s almost as if it’s a craving really. I try to just not think about it and maybe it’ll stop but it’s always just kind of their not really strong but always noticeable in the back of my mind. I don’t really know what to do about it or if I need to do something. I’m just looking for some advice about it. | null | 2No Distortion
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900 | I don’t see the point of living anymore: i’m here because i’m afraid suicide if the only thing that makes sense for me to do now, but am open to other opinions. first of all, i don’t believe in god, so there’s no spiritual theater that needs to be addressed. i was in an accident 2 years ago which led to 2 things: back pain and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. i dont enjoy my life–i have more doctors than friends, my family is disgusted with how antisocial and isolated ive become. the only people i talk to are those i see online playing video games, my friends all go to school hours (if not states) away. i have a serious addiction to perscription pain drugs, which my parents know about and are disgusted with. | i dont enjoy my life–i have more doctors than friends, my family is disgusted with how antisocial and isolated ive become. the only people i talk to are those i see online playing video games, my friends all go to school hours (if not states) away. | 9Mental filter
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275 | Is it wrong of me to expect my wife to come through on her words given me on her own with out me asking for it and if not get angry? Example she asked me to pay rent starting 2nd month our lease (even tho before we got the place we agreed to split it 2/3 me 1/3 her) cuz as she says I make more money even though my business almost went bankrupt a few month before (now is better but still isn’t easy which costs me a lot of stress) and offered in exchange to pay for all house bills and groceries and then I did have to pay water bills and for some if not most groceries anyway. I’m generous and I’m ok to step up when I see is needed just dont like to be asked for it and that what she said she would do in exchange wasn’t happening for the most part. In addition to it I feel not listened and heard and she forgets (not this) a lot small things I’ve been telling her, like putting food away and storage it properly so it doesn’t go bad. I love her and we are a young marriage that is learning but before I was trying to make sure we are financial partners cuz life is expensive and stressful to come through like her mom is saying the womans minimum expectations from her man and I don’t want to feel taken advantage of financially as it happened before and she claims that’s my issue cuz of my previous bad experiences. My wife is lovely and I love her and she just got pregnant and it’s just hard for me to not get angry and temperamental if things like me not listened keep repeating and I want to stop it and don’t blow up. | In addition to it I feel not listened and heard and she forgets (not this) a lot small things I’ve been telling her, like putting food away and storage it properly so it doesn’t go bad. | 3Magnification
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1,894 | My name is —, from small’ve had psychological problems from wanting to kill, hallucinations, sleep paralysis, attention deficit, wants to commit suicide, etc … and this has been happening since I was three years, at first it was so constant and sharp, but the years passed I managed to control myself, but since 2014 these symptoms have recurred … every time I find it harder to keep my composure and keep going, I hallucinate with very horrible things, death caused either by me or by my former “imaginary friends” that have reappeared but even more violent and bloodthirsty. I could not tell anyone for fear of his reaction, I am aware of what I see, what I feel .. but there are times when I confuse hallucinations with the real world, these “imaginary friends” tell me to do and say things such as attacking another person, insult, hurt me physically it. I find studying, giving me more afraid It is that just no longer appear when I’m alone but also when I am among many, very often I des-focus or fail to be in the real world and step to hallucinate, see, hear and feel everything that my mind creates. spend time looking at a place, and there I see some imaginary being and this makes nis companions anxious and ask to see it, sometimes or I have recently gained much trouble in high school, because I do not copy because I dis-focus or I start to hallucinate more strongly than I do when I am in active living with someone, I took her phobia of people, all … well, some more than others and this makes me very difficult relationship teacher -student and student-peers. everything is coming to an end, sometimes I am not aware of what I do, what I see, what I say, etc … | I could not tell anyone for fear of his reaction, I am aware of what I see, what I feel .. but there are times when I confuse hallucinations with the real world, these “imaginary friends” tell me to do and say things such as attacking another person, insult, hurt me physically it. | 8Mind Reading
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2,140 | It has been more than a year now , I feel alone, depressed, don’t feel like talking to anyone, just like to be alone. Also have been too much emotional these days. I don’t have any girl friend or even a person who cares for me , except my mother, in my entire life. This all has started because I cant see my mother not getting respect from my father after staying with him for almost 30 years. I feel this so much , but I am not able to speak on this with either of them. I just keep on crying from inside. I cry while sleeping thinking of all this. This is affecting my behavior and I am no more a social person. I have lost all my friends. Even in office I just talk work. Some of my close friends say that I inspire them with the way I work, but when I come back home I just see all those things which I have seen over the years which makes me to forget the kind of person I am or I was to be. I have never got love. Because of all this my self esteem is gone way low. I am confident when it is work, but when colleagues go for tea break or lunch together I am uncomfortable to go with them as I don’t know or I am not confident on my behavior. I don’t sleep well, I stay awake late nights, get up late in morning. I have lost weight not eating much. Also about my past , I am not been able to do much friendship in school and college as well. Even in my family I have always been kept aside for all important things, they just think that I cant do it just because I don’t speak much. I am fed up of all these, these days and I am seeking for an advice or help. It would be glad if someone can talk to me or can help me to find way out of this. Thanks in advance !! (age 26,from India) | I have never got love. Because of all this my self esteem is gone way low. | 9Mental filter
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742 | I’m a 18-year-old woman, and when I was 13 years old, I killed my family’s pit-bull puppy. His name was Poppy. I killed him by tying a rope to his collar and than putting in over a large branch on a tree which had a hunting post on it. I got up onto the hunting post, grabbed a hold of the rope, and then began pulling the rope down. As I pulled the rope down, Poppy was lifted up in the air. My hands were shaking while i did the deed; and I watched as his body shacked ferociously until, finally, I heard his neck snap. I then got down from the hunting post, untied the rope from his collar, put his leash on his collar, and grabbed a hold of the leash while dragging him through the woods. I put his body underneath some bushes. I left the body there for about a month and then went back to the site, and all that was left was bones (it was summer). I kept going back to the spot almost everyday, and then I took his canine teeth from his skull and put them in my room. Not too long after I did this, I took his head and put it on a tree branch. I then brought my sister into the wood, showed her the head, and told her it was a coyote’s head; I constantly fantasize about killing and torturing animals and sometimes animals. What is wrong with me? | null | 2No Distortion
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2,354 | I’m 18 years old and I been feeling suicidal on and off for about 2 years now. I started to self harm about a few months in to having these thoughts. The thing that confuses me is that I’m not sure if I should see someone about these thoughts. Sometimes it gets really strong. The way I calm my self down is that I tell my self that its okay, I will 100% kill myself, but I won’t do it now. I have a few different plans. I fear that If i do go see someone they will tell me that nothing is wrong with me and that I’m an “attention seeker” or that these feeling are just made up. Since these thoughts are not always there. I do feel really motivated to stop selfharming and to get better, I feel so hopeful but it doesn’t last very long, it goes on for about half a day. If I’m lucky it will last a day or too. Sometimes I feel an over whelming sadness, I try not to selfharm but its hard. Also some people cause me soo much anxiety I would have to selfharm. I get dizzy, weak, I start to shake and sweat a bit.It feels unreal, or I feel like Im in slow motion. Its so odd. I don’t know whats wrong with me. Is this something that I should be worried about?? should I seek help or is this all normal? (age 18, from US) | Also some people cause me soo much anxiety I would have to selfharm. | 6Should statements
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623 | When I was in middle school, I knew this kid named Josh. We didnt really ever talk, but I didn’t have anything against him. In fact, he was one of the only kids in class who didn’t bully me, but maybe it was because it wasn’t his type of thing. Anyway, about 4 years after I last saw him, I found out he died. That was about mid 2016. Today is July 2018 and sometimes I still stay up late at night saddened at the thought of him being dead. I feel silly to grieve someone i hardly knew and spoke maybe 3 words to the entire time I knew him. Sometimes I go through his old social media, and I see how normal of a kid he was. He made videos with friends, he wore silly costumes to get a laugh, and he was really loved by the people he surrounded himself with. I guess I’m mainly saddened that he was only 17 and he had a family that he left behind. I’ve cried so many times over this and I guess I just want to express what I’ve been feeling to someone and be told that this is a normal process. | I feel silly to grieve someone i hardly knew and spoke maybe 3 words to the entire time I knew him. | 10Labeling
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2,526 | My brother and his wife dated, traveled the world, and lived together for 8 years before marriage while doing their studies, all unknown to my parents. At the same time they got married, I got into my first relationship, which remains to this day, a long distance one, with us occasionally meeting once in a few months under parental supervision. It has been the most difficult 3 years, I cannot even begin to explain the frustration in words. We don’t have the luxury of sneaking off on trips because neither of us has the financial ability to or emotional support from our parents to do so. | null | 2No Distortion
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48 | From a young man in the U.S.: My SO is bipolar with strong suicidal tendencies and extreme anxiety. I left for 4 days and in that time she left the walk in closet for food – twice. Also puked when the maintenance guy showed up to check the smoke detector without warning. Late every night whether I’m home or away there’s at least an hour long conversation where she begins detailing, in graphic detail and a manic voice how she wants to kill herself, while I talk her down and change topics until she gets tired enough to sleep. Its been like this for a half year minimum and getting worse. | null | 2No Distortion
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270 | So, I wanted to ask this question because whenever I read about a topic of a disorder I tend to act them out like I have that disorder. It usually happens with me even realizing it at first, but usually stops within a few days. My second question is kinda odd, I’ve tried looking on websites for why I do this but never gotten a real solid response and I’m confused. It might be bipolar disorder or something of that means, but I almost always have the opposite reaction to things. Like for example if I’m watching someone get shot people would usually feel bad or cringe at the sight of it, but I just laugh out loud for some reason. Same with the other emotions, if I’m sad I’m usually acting cheerfully and so on. But that’s about it, sure I have other questions, way too many but I’ll save it for a later date. Hope ya can get back to me soon. | It might be bipolar disorder or something of that means, but I almost always have the opposite reaction to things. Like for example if I’m watching someone get shot people would usually feel bad or cringe at the sight of it, but I just laugh out loud for some reason. Same with the other emotions, if I’m sad I’m usually acting cheerfully and so on. | 7Overgeneralization
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190 | Ever since I was younger, even at around the age of 4 years old, I have always fancied older men. By this, I mean men including those that are middle-aged. I have also fancied people of a much closer age to me as well, and am in a relationship with someone of a very similar age. | null | 2No Distortion
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847 | So, I have known for a while now but think I have been in denial. My mum would always hid away to answer a phone call, Which I noticed wasn’t her usual phone. Me and my sister’s never addressed it to be anything. I found the phone and looked at the messages, I know I shouldn’t have, and there were messages clearly stating that she was seeing someone else other than my dad. I haven’t told anyone as Im worried that they will say that I need to let my dad know and I don’t want to break up the family, and worried that they will judge me for keeping it a secret for so long, but she is having more and more of these phone calls, and i really don’t know what to do. (From Scotland) | I found the phone and looked at the messages, I know I shouldn’t have, and there were messages clearly stating that she was seeing someone else other than my dad. | 6Should statements
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2,031 | I have been battling with Anxiety and Depression since I graduated college (2000). I am currently taking 40mg Celexa daily. I find that even on the Celexa, I am very moody and quick to anger. I find that little things just send me into a negative mood and for the rest of the day, I am just grumpy all the time.Some days are good, but I find the most days I am grumpy and no fun to be around. I was perscribed medical marijuana for my back last may and I only take a 25-50mg pill when I am in pain. What I find though has me confused. When I take a medical marijuana pill, I feel like a veil is removed and the person I should be is present (not stoned, just enough to remove the pain). I am nice, I am not as stressed, I am able to show the emotions I wish I could every day. I just feel like the person I should always be. When not on my medical marijuana, I again am anxious, quick to anger, grumpy, the idea of going to the store is a chore, everything becomes a chore. I really want to know why I cannot be the man who can show emotion to his family and not be such a downer. I really want to find out what I can do to get past my issues and be the man my family deserves. | I find that even on the Celexa, I am very moody and quick to anger. I find that little things just send me into a negative mood and for the rest of the day, I am just grumpy all the time.Some days are good, but I find the most days I am grumpy and no fun to be around.When I take a medical marijuana pill, I feel like a veil is removed and the person I should be is present (not stoned, just enough to remove the pain). I am nice, I am not as stressed, I am able to show the emotions I wish I could every day. I just feel like the person I should always be. When not on my medical marijuana, I again am anxious, quick to anger, grumpy, the idea of going to the store is a chore, everything becomes a chore. I really want to know why I cannot be the man who can show emotion to his family and not be such a downer. I really want to find out what I can do to get past my issues and be the man my family deserves. | 6Should statements
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2,141 | From a young woman in the U.S.: I know that this is a waste of your time since you’re not getting paid for it. I feel that most of the therapist and psychologists real intention for the job is really to just get what everybody seems to die for, literally. For a little piece of green paper. I’m sure they get tired of hearing all the same, stories of how everyone thinks they’re so crazy, or deal with the unbalance everyone has. They eventually grow weary? I don’t know. | null | 2No Distortion
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827 | I’m currently in a very happy and otherwise healthy, long-term romantic relationship for the first time in my life. My boyfriend is a very caring and sensitive guy and we both love each other very much, but I’m concerned that some of my pre-existing sexual issues may cause problems down the road for our relationship. I have primary vaginismus and vulvodynia, and my first sexual experiences were very negative and traumatic. I have been to a gynecologist about these issues and went through physical therapy to try and overcome them, but even after a few years penetration is still painful and sometimes very difficult. While trusting my partner makes a big difference in reducing the amount of pain I’m in during sex, and with my current boyfriend there have been several occasions where it was virtually painless, it’s still a constant factor in my sex-life. While I do enjoy the intimacy of sex with my boyfriend despite this, I have never been able to achieve orgasm no matter what my partner tries to do or for how long. Even with assistance from vibrators it’s virtually impossible, and the only way I’ve managed to achieve orgasm is by my own intervention. I don’t understand why I have this issue, especially because I am very attracted to him. My boyfriend doesn’t complain to me about it or anything like that, but I can tell that it makes him feel self-conscious. I’ve tried explaining to him that it’s not his fault at all, but I worry that he still feels like he’s inadequate. What should I do? | I’ve tried explaining to him that it’s not his fault at all, but I worry that he still feels like he’s inadequate. | 8Mind Reading
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341 | The man I’ve been on and off with for almost 6 years has finally admitted to me that “everything is there” in me, but he cannot see a future. He is an honest, good man who has deep fears and avoids intimacy. He doesn’t know what to do when I cry and never talks about his feelings. Our “relationship” has been quite unusual. We never interacted with friends and family, never dated. We were basically friends with benefits who also shared deep and casual discussions with daily interaction. I’ll admit I have learned I have fears as well. But each ending consists of him literally disappearing on me. He runs. He can often jump into a new flirtation, take her around his people, date her but it always ends and we always wind up back to each other. He admits now that he doesn’t understand why he can’t let himself do those things with me. There was a point in time, years ago; when he did fall in love with me but then it was like a flipped switch he shut it off and we’ve never gotten back to that place. My counselor thinks it’s because it would “mean too much” to date me. Because we are so right for each other that it could be the real deal and he’s blocking it. Do you agree? I don’t know of anyone else who has gone through something to this degree. I have loved and supported this man in every way I know how. I don’t want to live a life knowing we walked from what could have been the best relationship if we had just given it a chance. Why does he run from me but give himself to other casual girls who never had to “earn” that from him? I know he is confused and I’m giving him space but I’m so tired of the confusion. I have tried to move on as well, but no matter what happens, I long for our connection. I have no control over his actions, but I don’t understand why he won’t just give in to me. Or is it that I really just don’t matter enough? Please help. Thank you. | Because we are so right for each other that it could be the real deal and he’s blocking it. | 8Mind Reading
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901 | I am having a hard time being motivated and excelling academically at my college. My parents have huge expectations for me but I do not know if I want the same thing as them. Through high school and the start of college I wanted the same thing but the more I am in college, the more afraid I have become of not knowing what I really am passionate about vs not letting my parents down. | null | 2No Distortion
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238 | From a teen girl in the U.S.: I haven’t been able to interact with people normally at any point in my life. When I was in elementary school I was extremely aggressive and prone to tantrums far past the age where that behavior is normal. This behavior continued into jr high and high school. My tantrums went from scratching my arms up and screaming to punching myself, banging my head on walls, hitting myself in the face, biting my arms and making non human sounds. I’ve never had control of these outbursts. They’re almost always triggered by other people, especially if I’m cornered or they stand to close to me. They’re embarrassing, I have no control over them, I’m an adult woman, I don’t want to have temper tantrums like a 5 year old. | When I was in elementary school I was extremely aggressive and prone to tantrums far past the age where that behavior is normal. They’re almost always triggered by other people, especially if I’m cornered or they stand to close to me. | 6Should statements
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1,838 | My older brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia 10 years ago. Before his psychotic break, we were close. After he got sick, I moved away for college and never moved back to my home state. For almost a decade, he’d only communicate with me in person. He was afraid to use email or the telephone because he thought people were spying on him. We I did talk to him, depending on what meds he was taking, he might be talkative or might not speak at all. He’s not really in treatment. He sees a psychiatrist every 2 or 3 months and takes a long term injection. That’s all. Other than that he never leaves the house. Technically he’s been medicated for 10 years, never off antipsychotics, but his delusions are always a problem. He still believes that certain people have betrayed him and tried to ruin his life. So I can’t say he was ever recovered or stable. His psychiatrist is aware of his ongoing delusions. In the beginning I encouraged my parents to get him to see a psychologist or other therapist and work out a treatment plan. They said, “He doesn’t want to do that.” So it never happened. Now I’m not close with my brother. He’s missed much of what happened in my life over 10 years, including my wedding because he didn’t want to go out of the house. My parents are trying to get us talking more. They use group text or Facetime. At first it was strained, and a year later I feel like I just don’t like the guy anymore. I don’t like the way my brother acts now. He’s rude, pushy, arrogant. He’s always criticizing and belittling me. He tries to manipulate me into buying things for him online. He starts fights about politics that seem endless and he won’t ever let them go (and we all have the same politics, we’re all registered democrats, so I don’t even know how we manage to fight). He never asks me about my life, job, husband, hobbies, house, town, etc. When I talk to him about my life he changes the subject. He only likes to talk about his interests (movies, politics, music). If I talk to a friend I haven’t seen in 10 years, we catch up. My brother’s not interested in that. It feels really one-sided. There’s no give and take the relationship. I currently have health problems and my physician asked me to avoid stress. I just feel like it’s impossible to do that with his toxic tantrums once a week. But I don’t know how to tell my parents to just leave it alone, let us grow apart, we have nothing in common and just shouldn’t be talking. If he was in REAL treatment maybe things would be different but he doesn’t want things to change. If a friend was this judgmental, rude, abusive, manipulative, I wouldn’t associate with them anymore. I think I shouldn’t have to be subjected to that. | But I don’t know how to tell my parents to just leave it alone, let us grow apart, we have nothing in common and just shouldn’t be talking. If he was in REAL treatment maybe things would be different but he doesn’t want things to change. | 6Should statements
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206 | From a teen in the U.S.: Hi I been struggling from depression all my life and i use the internet in way to numb my pain and to forget im even alive. I left a religion that i didn’t approve of when i was 15 Jehovah Witness and my mom wants to force me to go She tells me Im not happy because I dont believe in god | null | 2No Distortion
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57 | So I’m in love with my brother’s wife. We were friends before they married so I guess you could say I was robbed of a wife and robbed of a life. I’ve been trying my best to bury this situation, but I’ve been unable to cut the roots. Now 15 years later I’m still struggling. I feel so angry and confused but I’m madly in love with her even though it’s so complicated. I wish she was mine but I’m not the kind of person that is jealous of or wants to ruin my brother’s marriage. I don’t know what to do. I’m in dire need of help and advice. (From the UK) | We were friends before they married so I guess you could say I was robbed of a wife and robbed of a life. | 5Personalization
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1,465 | I have been married for just over five months now but we dated for more than three years before the marriage. The problem I am having (which was also around before we got married) is that my wife continuously gets mad at me for reasons (in her perspective) that have to do with my not being caring enough, not understanding her, not being willing to listen to her. She is ready to be upset anytime so much that I basically will not move another inch without thinking twice ’cause i find it very hard to predict what she expects. To add to the situation, when ever she is mad she is not willing to tell me what is bothering her (claims that if I really cared I would know on my own) and would not talk to me (even if i try) for more than a week. Sometimes I decide to say I am sorry even when I don’t feel it and know it is not my fault but she has this principle that it is not appropriate to say I am sorry just to calm down the situation. | She is ready to be upset anytime so much that I basically will not move another inch without thinking twice ’cause i find it very hard to predict what she expects. | 8Mind Reading
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1,245 | From the U.S.: I’m 22 and ready to move out, but I’m not sure how to break it to my mother… My mother is financially dependent on me and has been for about four years. She has a job, but is not extremely responsible with money and because of that her credit has/is suffering. I have attempted to help her with her debt, even went as far as offering to pay for her to file bankruptcy. She has refused the help and lied several times about her plans to get herself help financially. She becomes vague or argumentative when I bring up her money situation. | null | 2No Distortion
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1,779 | I’ve had a habit of desperately trying to find diagnoses or special labels to classify what’s going on in my head. It’s like an obsession, and I think that’s it’s because I’ve always had a hard time classifying my emotions, so I try to classify my thoughts instead. This has proven to be just as hard, but I have come up with a few things. | It’s like an obsession, and I think that’s it’s because I’ve always had a hard time classifying my emotions, so I try to classify my thoughts instead. | 9Mental filter
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134 | My boyfriend has a 13 yr who is very clingy to him. She’s had instances where she would call her mother while she is at our house and cry when she doesn’t get her way. This, of course, would spark an argument with between her and my boyfriend. Of course, when we first started dating she felt like he was spending too much time with me and my kids. So I felt the need to step back and let him handle that supposedly gain control of the situation. It seems to be there is an issue that arises every couple of months where she gets upset with him about something that involves me and my kids. I can’t stand when she comes around and I can tell he knows how I feel. I’m on the verge of calling it quits. I don’t know what else to do. | I can’t stand when she comes around and I can tell he knows how I feel. | 8Mind Reading
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1,791 | I live with my 2 younger siblings, alcoholic father, and grandmother, who has custody of my siblings and I. She has repeatedly told my father that if he’s caught drinking, she’ll kick him out. But every time we do catch him, she let’s him stay. As of right now, he has to stay because my grandmother is currently unemployed due to an accident leaving her physically incapable of returning to work for a few more months. My father will get drunk during the night and walk around the house knocking things over and breaking them. He’ll also try to cook while we’re all asleep occasionally, and has more than once left on the stove, heating up pots and pans until they literally turn red from the heat. He eats everything and rarely pays for anything but the bare minimum of what he’s supposed to. He’s a danger to us and a terrible father. My grandmother and I both want him gone, but we just aren’t financially able to do so. I do have a job working for my aunt, earning 60 dollars a week, but obviously, that’s not enough to pay bills every month and keep 4 mouths fed. I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with living with him or how to find a way to afford to kick him out. We’ve all lived with this for years and we’re sick of it. Your help is appreciated, thank you. | He’s a danger to us and a terrible father. | 10Labeling
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Subsets and Splits