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Self destructive after a night out. How come im at my most fuck everything mood at the end of a night out??

Did you hang out with other people? Maybe you're introverted and after being around people for so long you get so mentally drained that you just don't care anymore at that point of the day? Just a guess of course.

Help. Can you withdrawal from Zoloft

Yes possible.. are you having withdrawal symptoms?

Im worthless. Pointless. Better off dead. Nobody can help. They spent 2 years helping and they havent done shit

Hi there. No one on this earth is worthless, even if you feel that way now. It gets better, things change, you will change. I browsed through your post history and noticed how young you are. The age you're in is a horrible hormonic stage. My son had the same feelings at that age-range. I did too. Even if life feels overwhelming and lonely now, this will pass eventually. Be patient. I have to go for a while, but will get back to you with how my son learned to cope. Hang in there. A big motherly hug to you!

I just want to leave. I just want to win the lottery and travel alone for 5 years and then settle in Denmark or something and delete all my social media. I can't do this anymore.

i deleted my social media a long time ago. And that seems nice Good luck

My cat is the only person I have in my life, and she doesn't even like me that much.. I'm very depressed on top of a somewhat debilitating bipolar diagnosis, anxiety, and anorexia. I rarely am able to leave the house. My cat can be sweet at night sometimes, but mostly she wants nothing to do with me. It just...it really, really sucks. That's all.

Honestly, it's because cats are evil. My fishies are nicer...except for bubbles the clownfish.

Is it normal to want to die out of boredom / apathy?. Whenever I think about suicide (which is a lot) I always think of the lead up to it being yep, I'm fucking done with this, peace out bye. and not everything in life is shit and there's no other way out than this

I am not sure it is 'normal', whatever that is.... I have definitely felt this a lot in the last 4 years. I find my interest in life and everything else comes and goes, and when it goes I think 'what the hell is the point of all of this?'

I want to die. I fucking hate myself and my miserable existence. I'm a shitty excuse of a human being. I can't even kill myself properly but that probably won't stop me from trying again soon.

What makes you think you're a shitty human being? I don't know who you are and I don't know your story, so pardon me if I'm coming as rude by saying this (that is not my intention, I'm solely trying to help), but maybe some of those reasons aren't founded. For example I often worry that all the people I love will abandon me, and even though it's not really founded and I know in the back of my head that it probably won't happen, it is still one of my largest fears.

For those who attempted suicide, did you regret it?. Did you regret it? Would you try it again?

I personally haven't, but from what I've read online a great deal of people don't regret it, they only feel shame because they failed and already plan their next attempt. There was a statistic floating around on here recently that suicide survivors are more likely to attempt it again than other people.

I’m a fucking failure. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Same I feel like I have failed to reach every goal I have set for myself. Although I kinda just accepted it at this point and stopped caring that I always fail and it strangely helps me get not so depressed about it anymore.

How can i stoo feeling so empty?. I've been feeling really empty lately and I don't know what to do. Its the worst feeling (or lack there of) in the world. I just really need some advice. Edit: sorry about my spelling error in the title. I'm on mobile.

change your diet and lifestyle. eat whole and organic, exercise daily (walk for 30 mins), get plenty of sun, spend time in nature, drink lots of water, pursue a spiritual path, get rid of toxic things and people in your life, stop doing things that damage your wellbeing (junk food, bad habits, addictions, drugs, porn, etc.), wake up & go to sleep early, take cold showers (proven to help depression & increase energy), try /r/nofap, do meaningful work (work you love doing), express gratitude, be thankful you're still alive on this planet, and learn to change things you can and accept the things you can't.

I recently got diagnosed w depression coupled w PTSD & anxiety and I've been put on Mirtazapine. Any experiences w dis drug, side-effects, withdrawals?. I just feel like it gives me a mellow weed high, actually enjoying it. Hope it treats my depression

Mirtazapine makes me incredibly sleepy. I take it about an hour before I want to sleep and be out like a light by then.

Thoughts on SSRIs. Hello, what are your thoughts/ experiences on SSRIs?

I tried various strengths of Zoloft. It did help a little, but only with certain symptoms for me. I'm also still in the process of getting a correct/official diagnosis though.

Physical Pain Caused by Depression. I was wondering what other people's experience with physical pain caused by depression has been? I'm referring to the pain that feels like your heart has been shredded to pieces and anything like that, not including pain from your mind. Has painkillers (like ibuprofen) helped to get ease that or has that not really worked for anyone?

Yes, I sometimes have that type of pain. Ibuprofen definitely doesn't help. I don't know of anything that does.

What's the general age here/are there any parents here?. I'm 25, I'm hoping there's people around my age. I'm also a mother to a special needs child. If there are any parents here, how do you cope with the apathy? Thanks, I'm new to btw

Thirty-three but no kids. It's honestly a struggle being around my nieces and nephew when I'm not doing well so I give you credit.

If somebody actually says you're cute or good looking, do you believe them?. I want to believe people when they say that but I always think they just say it to make you feel better...

Yeah, maybe they are trying to make you feel good. If you have people saying you're cute, though, then that's a big deal! Even if they're doing it for other reasons, you're a lot more cute and attractive than me (based on this being a complaint rather than being flattered)

I keep thinking I've hit rock bottom and then it gets even worse. so much for all that It gets better bullshit.

I know what you mean. Seems like it'll never get better, it just gets worse even though it doesn't seem like it could get any worse. Sucks.

Need to vent. Please someone PM me. BTW, I'm not suicidal or anything like that. Just really depressed.

Hey man, I seen that you need to vent. Im all ears and you can tell me anything. Just shoot me a PM

Feeling contradictions. Does anyone else feels like sometimes people just hate and it's awful, yet there's another voice saying that no one thinks about you enough to hate you, that no one really cares?

There are people in this world who are extremely petty and evil minded. They definitely exist, in large numbers unfortunately. :( Some people *don't* have anything better to do than to mock or ridicule another person.

Another twelve hour graveyard shift. And I forgot to take my meds.. It's gonna be a long night </3

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully it goes by quick.

I can't figure out what's going on right now...am I just unlucky?. So I've been dealing with terrible apathy and overall lack of interest with things such as school lately. I don't know if my medicines are working but it's been really difficult to get out of bed and make it to class lately. It's reached a point wherein it becomes so overcoming that I feel so powerless. I have little to no focus when it comes to schoolwork. To add to that, I injured myself recently and it requires surgery. I'm a pretty active athlete and the fact that I won't be able to be as active as I want to be scares me. It hasn't really sunken in yet but there's a certain feeling of emptiness that I feel and I don't know what to do.

It's certainly possible your injury could have triggered a depressive episode, especially if it's impacting something you care a lot about doing. Or a possible side effect of a new medication? Like, I was given Vicodin after a medical procedure a couple years ago but I had to stop taking it because it mostly just made me feel groggy and withdrawn.

Is there a difference between compassion and pity? Can I get better at recognizing it?. I hate opening up to people because I am afraid they'll throw a pity party for me. I don't want to be pitied; I want to be understood. But it seems like everyone's first response is pity. It makes me feel like a burden to them.

At least it's something. Would you rather have them pity you or not give a shit? I feel alone with everyone I'm around. I think it'd be worse knowing I'm truly alone. Embrace it because they love you regardless how you are as a person. (How's that for not wanting to be pitied? ;) )

Spend every weekend alone in my room listening to my 50 year old alcoholic mother vomit in the bathroom. I have no friends. My life is awful.

My mother is an alcoholic too, I know where coming from. be your friend.

Struggling. Not liking anything at all lately stressed out from work, home, family, everything is a struggle and I hate feeling so lonely

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. Do you want to vent about any of that stuff here? I may not know what to say, but I promise I'll read it.

At a party with friends. Great conversation, good food, old friends And still feeling crappy. I just want to go home.

You feel judged? Perhaps you haven't accomplish what you told them you would? Or why do you feel this way

Do you ever just walk with no purpose?. I've been doing so constantly, I ignore whatever's going on in my life for an hour or so and just walk. I walk and hope that when I get back everything will be better. But when I get home nothings changed, it's still filled with sadness. I don't know...

You may feel shitty when you get back, but FWIW, the walk is still good for you. It's a little exercise, maybe a little sun (depending on the weather and where you live), and it's something that feels good for you in the moment. May not be much, but I've always found it's important to recognize the little tiny positives like these. So good for you, take those walks when you can and remember it's a small way to take care of yourself and your mental health. Bike rides are awesome too.

Some people actually do enjoy being alive, right?. Enjoyment of life isn't some kind of metaphor for suffering with grace or being strong for others despite personal misery? I just want to be sure.

What I'm trying to say is that routine is significantly important, and the first thing many clinical psychologists ask is if you have a job (basically makes you set up a routine) And routines make you less likely to develop depression if they are balanced and will make your enjoyment of life increase as well

I hate myself so fucking much. I don't know how to cope anymore.

Maybe someone who still loves the you that you hate.

idk why im still alive. i guess ill jump off a bridge next week

You've probably heard this before- that you should try improving your quality of life and see how that works. But I know how it can feel like nothing will ever change. So I propose that in order for you to prove things can't get better, give your life the absolute best shot you can give instead of giving up on it now. This way, you can *prove* to yourself and others that you're beyond saving, and the bridge will become a more reasonable option. It's a fucked up way of motivation, yes, but it motivates me

It's the people that we rely on the most that let us down. Moral: Don't rely on anyone.

I wish this wasn't quite as true but the truth just hurts.

life is a big joke. please let me die, it hurt so much to keep existing

God is a terrific japester. We humans think we're so special with our ultimately temporary, miserable *gift*. Joke is on us.

Don’t give me false hopes. Be my friend. Be my love. Stay. leave. I thought the one. Stay... Please stay.

Don't be tunnel-visioned my friend. Currently you're seeing only the face of your love. But when you finally get out of the tunnel you'll find someone who was meant for you all along. Let him/her go. We're only humans.

Dont Know What To Do Anymore.... Im fucking done.. Im sitting hear about to end this right now. I dont know what to do right now. I wrote out a note but its shit. Im done. No one cares about me. Any advice please... I really need it right now

Happy to listen if you care to type, pm me any time, also I care about you.

No longer feeling emotions. For the past few months I was feeling very depressed every day but last Saturday I woke up and my sadness was gone but so were all other emotions, does anyone know what disorder this is called?

Flattened affect, usually caused by SSRI meds

You can't love someone until you love yourself.. I don't think it's as great of advice as people think it is. I'm not sure if I will ever love myself, so it looks like i'll be alone forever.

I hear this all the time but I don't really understand what it's getting at. I remember one context in which it made sense but that was a fantasy novel. The novel is Pillars of Creation, part of the Sword of Truth series. One of the characters belongs to a cult which believes that all people are evil, using this belief to justify many atrocious crimes. He tells a woman that he loves her but she rejects him, saying that he doesn't know what love is and that he doesn't even love himself. I felt that made sense because in his case, it would basically be a completely foreign concept.

Anyone else feel like a junkie trapped in their room going through withdrawals. I physically cringe when i think about the things i am avoiding, draw the curtains close, avoid family in the house, starve myself, toss and turn but don't get up, nap but don't sleep. The horror continues

The way you wrote that was very poetic. Continue the story...

Is it fair to date someone while depressed?. If so, how do you tell them about it and at what stage?

Yes! Dating can get you out of depression. Not without medical attention though. I'd tell from the get go

Emotionally abused people. Please tell me your stories if you feel like it. Who abused you? How it affects you? I want to prove myself that my case is not that bad and i can make it.

I'm game and need to vent so here goes... I was verbally, physically and emotionally abused for as long as I can recall. Since you asked about emotional abuse I will focus solely on that. I was blamed constantly for everything that was wrong with the family. My mother told me this numerous times after she and my father would have huge, physically violent fights that started over events that had nothing to do with me. I was constantly told If you had a brain you would be dangerous. by my mother. Not after I'd done anything, not after a stupid act or action on my part but just in passing. This was my mother's assesment of me and she told me this frequently. I was tested, determined to have a high IQ, placed in gifted and talented classes and made to suffer for it by narcissistic, superficial, egotistical mother for my entire life. If I vot an A I was told it was because the work was too easy for me, if I got a B it was because I was lazy and never applied myself. I would constantly be accused of thinking I was So smart. Nothing I ever did or attempted to do was good enough, there was always some flaw in it. I only received criticism, never any praise. In 4th grade I had lovely long hair, my mother decided I should have it all cut off. She took me to a beauty school and had them cut all of my hair off, a boy cut, they shaved the back of my neck. My mom cried afterward and said she was crying because The haircut showed how ugly I was. The next week we were going into our small town to pick up this giant fancy framed picture for our living room, My mom made me walk on the opposite side of the street after we got out of the car. She said, I don't want to be seen with you and have people know you are my daughter. My mother really values externak beauty. I was a skinny unremarlable child, I never forgot the other side of the street incident, I had to look at the damn framed picture that we picked up that day until I moved away from home and got married at age 19. Every time I saw it I thought of that day. Years of torture. I was a divorced single mother, my ex never paid a dime, not any of the support we were supposed to receive. I worked two jobs to support us. I never received any financial help from anyone. I crafted a nice career for myself and tried to be a good mom and a good person. I never drank, never did drugs or ran around or went wild or got in any trouble. But my mother was/is ashamed of me and made/makes sure to let me know it. Anyone she talks about to me she lets me know how successful their children are, how wealthy they are and how proud the parents are. My mom told me one day how disappointed she was with how I'd turned out, how she always thought I'd be someone when I grew up. She said she'd hoped I would've grown up to marry a doctor or lawyer or someone important. I told her I was someone. At the time I was an online database adminstrator with a nationally recognized nonprofit but to my mother I was an embarrassment, a nothing and a nobody. My mother's father, my grandfather was one of the only people in my life that was always kind to me, he treated me like I was special and had value. My mother knew I adored him and she hated that he liked me. After he died she insisted on telling me horrible things about him saying she wanted me to know what kind of man the grandfather I worshipped really was and that I should not feel special that some thing like him tolerated me better than most. Right after I was divorced, I was not yet employed full time and very poor. I was visifing my parents at their huge house in the country. My mother started bitching about how poor I was, I had not asked her or dad for a dime and I was not there to eat. Mom started talking about dying, asked me if I had a sill, etc.. Mom told me I better not die because she did not want to have to spend her money on a funeral for me, and she said not that anyone would show up at a funeral for me anyway. She also told me that she'd always thought of me as a living abortion, since my birth. She was going nuts, yelling and spitting. She told me she bet I was so poor, such a failure that I probably could not even afford feminine products. I got my purse to leave, opened it and hurled a few tampons at her, as I told her, wrong bitch. My father blocked the front door, and tried to make me apologise to my mother. I had to threaten to call the police before he would let me go. After my father passed away my mother called, she said she needed to ask me something. Then mom said, Did you ever think or get the feeling that your father really loved you or cared about you? I told my mom that yes, yes I did. That dad was a fifties guy and although he may not have ever been emotionally demonstrative I thought he did love and care about me. He has worked hard and made personal sacrifices to care for us financially when I was young. That there had been a few occassions that he'd been very nice to me. Like going into a shop and buying me a top he knew I wanted for my 16th Birthday. Buying me a computer, working with me on computer projects early on, buying us both laptops, teaching me to shoot and fish, and by his having special nicknames and greetings for me, etc.. I told mom that was how dad expressed his love. My mother said, That's interesting because I always had the impression that he didn't care about you at all. I was also emotionally abused by my father, it was different than my mother's abuse though. My dad alwsys had to be the best. He could not stand for me to be good at anything I could never, ever be as good as he was or (god fobid it) better. My parents were never involved in our education. They basically just asked us at dinner how school was and we'd say OK and dinner would proceed. I should have known from past events not to dare say anything positive had happened but one day I was happy and excited about something that had happened at school, in English class. I was so excited that I stupidly spoke up at dinner. When the standard, How was school? question was asked I boldly said, School was great, Mrs. G, my English teacher pulled me aside after class. She told me a poem I'd written for an assignment was so good they want my permission to publish it on the first page of the student yearbook! My father put his fork down, he tilted his head, gave me a bizarre look and told me to recite the poem. I could not recite it, I was too nervous and afraid. I said I would show it to him after dinner, it was no big deal. No, dad wanted to hear this fabulous poem I had written, right then. I went and got the poem and started to read it out loud. Dad told me to give it to him to read. He told me if it was in the yearbook people woukd be reading it for themselves. Dad read it silently and then while scoffing and half laughing he read it aloud. Dad asked me if the idiots at my school really thought that was good writing? He said he bet he could write something right then that would be a hundred times better. Dad left the table and went to his desk while we all sat at the table waiting for his return. After about twenty minutes Dad cheerfully returned, poem in hand. He stood and read it to us. It was some lame poem with Brother can you spare me a dime as one of the lines. Dad then told us, See, that's a poem, that's what good poetry is like! After that he asked all of us, Wasn't my poem better, a lot better? We all agreed, and lied and said his poem was a lot better. I told the English teacher not to let them use my poem for the yearbook. I never wrote another poem or much else for that matter. That crap happened in 1975 and I am still not over it despite counseling. Another thing that was a form of emotional abuse was the family hierarchy. My father came first, then my sister or mother, then me. I.always came last, even though I was the eldest child. There was this thing with the food. If we had any serving size type of meat it came into play. Let's say it is steaks for dinner, they are on a platter. The largest steak is for Dad, younger sister gets the next largest, mom third largest and smallest was for me. It was like that with all of the food. It was an unwritten rule. I decided to challenge it once when the platter of Hamburgers was beside me. I knew better than to go for the one for Dad but tried to take the secind largest one. My mom was immediately shrieking at me, No, no, put that back, it's for your sister! Yours is the small one. My parents home has our family pictures hanging in the study, they are hung vertically on one wall. The order is from top to bottom, a picture of my dad, a picture of my mom, a picture of my sister, a picture of my son, then a picture of me. I.am at the very bottom, like always. I.endured physical, emotional and mental abuse. I've seen therapist on occasion over the years and at one point was in therapy sessions twice a week for a year. It helped but it hasn't enabled me forget. I just have to deal with what happened and move forward. I'm not social, I don't really trust anyone or have any close friends but I'm okay with that. TLDR: Emotionally abused, made me tough, I survived it with a bit of therapy. Edit: Added TLDR

I spent today either staring blankly at a computer screen or my phone. Was too hurt to do anything today, really.

That's an accurate description of the past 2 months of my life.

Cried again.. Crying, crying, crying. Can you fucking end it. Fuck, people, cared for me. And i'm still fucking alone.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. A person can be cared for by dozens and still feel alone, depression is a monster. I hope you're able to make progress against it in your own way, or by talking to people you trust, living the life you want to live, or by obtaining professional help. Please send me a message if you would like to talk to someone privately.

I just had a dream where the girl of the dreams came up to me and I asked her out. She said yes and she told me she loved me. We got married later. Then I woke up.. Words can't describe the frustration and pain in my chest right now. Edit: It sucks right now because she's abroad right now, she comes back next month. I'm not gonna hold in my feelings anymore, I'm gonna ask her when she comes back.

And this is why I am sleeping like 12 hours a day now. In my dreams, everything is great. Then I wake up and it is like F*ck me, not

How to live without any thing to live for?. Just answer this question, don't write:You'll find a reason, it'll get better etc. No shitty lies, just answers

Sorry mate but I don't think there's a way

Want to die but don't want to kill myself. Given a chance to die, i will gladly accept it. Hit by a car, heart attack, sleep and won't wake up again, or any accident.

The only thing making me hesitant is my family. Seven siblings, four of them younger than me, and nothing scares me more than one of the little kids having to go through something that can leave them traumatized. On top of that, money is a big problem right now and I don't want my parents to have to deal with the costs. I feel so freaking stuck.

Is it normal to turn depressed/lethargic after going a few days without music?. This seems to keep happening, for some reason. A few days without music and boom, depression of some form kicks in. Is this anything normal or should I be worried about potential c. depression?

That would not be normal for me but in my condition I would welcome such an arrangement whole heartedly.

What's the most embarrassing thing depression has caused you to do ?. So I don't feel like the only laughing stock .....

telling people i love them when i really don't. I just really need closeness and when someone finally gets closer to me, i immediately feel like i'm in love even though we would never in a million years fit together

Does anyone have an experience with Citalopram?. I have been put on it due to my depression getting worse. I was wondering if anyone has been put on it and what are your experiences with it? Do you find it's helped you?

I did several months on citalopram but eventually got moved onto escitalopram. I'm now taking Wellbutrin with the latter. Much improved.

I just dont want to live anymore. Shit fuck im very tired

You are loved and you can get through this.

My dad is dying. So ontop of my depression i found out my dad is dying because the lupus he has has been killing him for the past 3 years. I dont know how to cope and want to kill my self. Im only 16 and honestly have tried to commit suicide before.

So sorry you are going through this. My mom died when I was 21. It's a traumatizing experience. I hope you have a supportive family. My family was only my mom and sisters at that time. Don't kill your self; your dad would not want that. Get help even if you don't feel like living right now. It does get better.

I just want it all to be over already. it would be a whole lot easier than this shit

Whats the fun in easy? We all die in the end... there is no reason to rush it :) nothing matters beyond what we want to matter, but if you conclude that life is meaningless and boring and hard then whats the point in that perspective? If it is meaningless then what else is there to be meaningful? what do you base those views off of if nothing else has a point for existence? Of course that assumes you actually think it's pointless or meaningless... or hard, which you do there for, how do you know something you've never experience is easier? Ah my rambling gets me nowhere because no one else cares to see it that way... eh oh well. Anyways, what is troubling you?

you know what ,,,, i just want to die. i know people have it worse than me and people in houston have every single right to wish death upon themselves rather than me but oh my god i would give anything for someone to just break into my house and murder me.

Shit, my dude, other people will always have worse (or better) lives than us. That doesn't invalidate your pain. I look at it like this: As a kid, I would throw tantrums in the grocery store if my mom wouldn't buy my favourite cereal. A couple years later, I could handle that, but I cried when I got cut from the basketball team. A couple years after that, I was nearly suicidal when my girlfriend dumped me. I eventually learned to handle rejection, but full time work drove me to drug abuse. Now, I can handle working 50 hours a week. The point is I have always had terrible coping skills. None of my problems have ever been that bad, but they have been the biggest problem I ever faced. They always seem overwhelming because I don't know how to handle failure of rejection of really any kind of pain or even mild discomfort. I am a wimp. And yet, they still treated me at the hospital - multiple times. I was never told to suck it up; I was taken seriously and given the help I need. It isn't about the external circumstances, it's about how we react to them. So if you need help, *that's okay*. You aren't any less of a person. You are worth just as much as anyone else. Someone losing their home or family in Texas doesn't mean your problems are irrelevant at all!

About to clean my room. Need a little encouragement.. I'll report back when I'm done or how the progress is going. I have to use adhd medication to get me to start, even though I tend to do other things instead, and the come down makes me think bad thoughts. Sigh. Wish me luck.

Should this really be in depression

Tonight is the date.. It's 4PM in my country right now. I'll end it tonight. I only have knife and it's probably going to hurt. Oh well.

it's not my responsibility to save you but i wish i could. please reconsider, talk to people you love, do something you love, watch something you love... if you want to talk you can message me, i'm not the best helper but i'll listen. <3

I don't think people understand how it feels to want to to die every minute of everyday.. And that sleep is a substitute for it.

LMAO you have no clue what your'e talking about.

We can't all be winners. Maybe I'm just supposed to lose? As I'm nearing my 30's hope is making way for resignation. More and more milestones are being passed unsuccessfully and less milestones remain. I know we can't all be the winners, there must be losers too. You can say that the losers are merely the ones who didn't want success hard enough but, realistically, I think it's safe to say some losers are just unlucky. I have never been exceptional in a positive sense, though I have failed spectacularly. I don't dream of greatness anymore, I dream of becoming mediocre and even that is slipping away these days. I have no job, lost my relationship, no degrees, no skills and a bad body. We all see resignation as a taboo, but how long does a person have to fail before it becomes evident that person will fail until he, she, they or whatever else will continue to fail, lose and forfeit until they are dead? I am a born loser, my life and death will both be equally disappointing.

There are losses worth fighting for

'You never do anything right!!'. Did that ever come across your head?

Yeah. How I wish I had a good job to support my parents. How I wish I had a place on my own to focus on relationships. How I wish I was my love-interest's focus. So yeah most things don't come out as planed here either.

My life is falling apart and it's all my fault.. The world would be better off without me.

No it wouldn't. What happened?

I feel absolutely nothing. 3 years of being on Zoloft and i feel nothing, no emotions of anysort ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I sometimes think i shoud be feeling a certain way in certain situations. Its really affecting my life in the way of relationships. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Kind of like you're a walking zombie? That's why I got off it, I felt that it helped with my emotions, by completely eliminating any emotions I could feel.

Is it normal to be depressed ? Or is there something else wrong with you. I think i am but is depression just an excuse for something else ? What do you think I'm not sucidial I think it's selfish

Maybe. Maybe its increasing because people are getting convinced by others that they're depressed? But it is a sickness, so that sucks

Remeron and nightmares?. Anyone else experiencing nightmares while taking mitrazipine/remeron?

I think most anti-depressants give you nightmares. Both my mom and I take them and we both have horrible nightmares. You get used to it.

mirtazapine increase to 30 mg after 2 days of 15mg?. i wonna take mirtazapine for adhd / lack of motivation / depression, so i thought 30mg in the morning would be nice. it has been only 2 days since i started from 15. can i already up to 30mg? what would be downsides?

Mirtazapine as far as I know is used for depression/insomnia typically. Not for adhd. I would ask your doctor about vyvance or another drug similar to that for your adhd... mirtazapine is perfectly fine to go from that dose to 30 in my opinion. It would be better if your body was introduced longer to the 15mg (2weeks) then bumped up to 30mg, but I see no complications or issues with being bumped up to 30mg this early in the game. Side effects of Mirtazapine are that it will make you tired, so the motivation and everything may be an issue with your adhd... Again look into vyvance. You may gain some weight also, that is a common side effect. Also some anxiety could occur, but that is rare. important to read up on your meds when you receive new ones. Or ask your doctor before you even get prescribed them.

Help. I'm going to kill myself tomorrow

What is going on? How long have you been thinking about this? Maybe we should talk about it first and think through some stuff...

The truth is I hate myself because I can't help others. Where is my empathy? I see myself being so hypocritical and I can't take it

At least you want to help people! Some love hurting people or just ignoring them, you care and the most important thing.

It’s terrible being alone in a crisis. Just wanted to express this.

No amount of 'you are not alone's from internet randos who won't reach out to you after will help. My local mental health system is an absolute joke and often made me more suicidal. So I also am alone when in crisis.

Hope. I still hope someday my life will 'magically' get better. Who am I kidding ?

The most important thing in a person is will. Nothing happens to or for people without the will to MAKE things happen. So change things. Otherwise, you really can't complain about em.

I love Sertraline. It's same important as parents for me

>I love Sertraline I got side effects from it so had to look elsewhere. I'm glad it's working for you though.

I feel like a computer.. I feel like a computer. I feel like I've lost the ability to feel emotion, even boredom. I'm sitting here waiting for an idea for something to do to roll by.

Only if it detects any sort of input. Computers are actually pretty stupid by themselves.

I was having a good few days... but now the anxiety is at a high and I feel like absolute ass. alcohol and pills it is

Try not to forget those good days, and know they can happen again. I'm right there with you.

Depression lies. Does it though? It feels like it's the other way around, help is a lie, optimism is bullshit, and depression is just the natural consequence of witnessing a shitty, broken life finally collapsing on itself. Maybe I'm just in too deep right now.

I think that's the fucked up thing, it lies so much we think the happy stuff is also lies. I mean I also feel like being happy is bullshit and nearly impossible, but hey who knows maybe that's the depression talking again

Is anyone else incredibly funny irl but miserable af when they get home?. What kind of jokes do you do? Who knows what you really feel inside? Why do we rely on other people's happiness?

It's fucking weird. I often have to bring every ounce of willpower up to bring myself to go to a party with frends, even though I know it will be good. But once I'm there, I'm often the Life of the Party, or so I think. I had people coming up to me, greeting me by my name and telling me how much fun they had last time we had met each other. Which was a year ago. For the first and last time since. I barely remembered their faces and not a single name. So I guess I left an impression. I really like to banter, to do play on words and take words from their mouth and turn them around in a fun way. I joke and tell stories with expressive facial expressions and big gestures. I'm sarcastic, sometimes even cynical. And I joke a lot about myself, mostly in a non-flattering way. I think people like me in general, I seldomly had someone outright refuse to interact with me. But on the other hand, as soon as I come home, I feel a crushing void and I feel alone and that everything is pointless. Those feelings remain in my day-to-day life. And it starts to interfere with my work, for example. I am not one to contain my feelings in an enviroment where I spend most of my days and life in. My boss already told me once, in a pretty long phase of being really depressed, that even my collegues said that something must be seriously wrong and the have no fun working around and with me if I'm in such mood. I can be fun at work, too. I made my co-workers laugh on a lot f different occasions. But that happens in good phases. But there are very bad phases where I, at best, don't say a single word all day unless absolutly necessary and at worst, I am filled with rage the whole day and can't contain it. Last week I was as close to quitting my job as I was never before. Maybe it would be best for all. Whatever, long story short: I think I can be really funny, too. Despite the fact I feel fucking miserable inside or do not feel anything at all.

Turning 27 soon, and have no motivation, or plans for the future.. Am turning 27 soon, and I spend my day in bed doing nothing.

18.....no motivation either feelings like shit

Picked up the wrong drink at starbucks, barista sort of scolded me and I had to hold back tears. Sucks being on the brink of an emotional breakdown all day long. :( I said I was sorry.

You should think about putting in a complaint. Someone who works in customer service should know how to be nice to people especially when it was a simple mistake.

pain with hanging yourself. i always thought hanging yourself would be extremely painful. however i just choked myself with my belt because i was curious. it wasnt really painful and i started to black out quickly. still figuring out when. where and how ill go though. this give me some reassurence though :)

There is a difference between choking yourself with the belt and dangling your bodyweight from a rope. It will hurt.

I trust my cat more than i trust humans. Actually no, i dont trust humans at all.. Im so done being used and lied to.

I trust my dogs and cats more than humans. Humans are fallible. Animals are just who they are. When it comes to trust in humans, it comes down to expectations. What are your expectations? When you enter into a relationship, it is something you should talk about. If you don't, you will find that everyone has different expectations. And you will never find a relationship in which you can trust.

I have an exam at 9:30 tomorrow, I haven’t started studying. Fuck me im an idiot just going to fail anyways

I hope it turns out better than expected ^^

Ugh. I was doing so well the past few days and today I feel like shit. Ugh

**hugs if you want them**

Took a depression nap earlier. Now I'm not tired, when I want to be

I just want to go back to sleep but I because all been doing is sleeping. a nice escape I guess

Had 4 tests today, stayed up till 4 and got up at 6:30 to study and I failed all of them. I don't know why I even try anymore.

Hey, you tried and you should feel proud of that, I'm still trying to motivate myself to at least try because I'm so afraid of failure..

I want to die. Title says it all. But i want to not live my life. Its hard to see past today and the right now emotions.

I have that problem too. Some things my CBT therapist suggested were: cold cloth on face, smelling lavender, taking a brisk walk, breathing exercises, and watching something funny. I truly hope you escape that dark cloud. I can confirm that I'm glad I lived to do and have the things I've done, despite pits of gravityless depression, despair and cutting. I believe you will find your way to good things as well.

I honestly need an answer.. What do you do when you're so down in the dumps and stuck in your own head with revolving negative thoughts over and over and over and over again? Literally 1 thing that has helped you in the past. Please.

I even put up with bad books. Anything that gets me thinking about something else.

Money. All I am worth is the money my employer makes off of me. What else can I do to enjoy life? Right now I feel like canon fodder for opportunistic baby boomers. Why continue?

Only you can answer the question. I personally find video game is a good way to enjoy my life. Though I agree that the hamster wheel and rat-race pretty sucks, but I just don't see much alternative at this point if I want to keep doing what I do now...

Does telling someone help?. Does telling someone you're depressed help?

It certainly doesn't hurt, given that you tell someone who is halfway decent. I find it to be a huge relief when I can talk to someone about it. It's like breathing fresh air after being in a sewer for a long time. Telling a the few close friends I have has actually strengthened our friendship as well.

I Hate my life. Every day I wake up and wish I didn't.

I feel this way too. It doesn't help that our world is owned and run by lying sociopaths.

Have any of you looked in a mirror,. and hated what you saw?

Literally everyone has. This isn't some unique depression thing that isolates you like a lot of things about depression. Everyone has something about them they don't like, most people don't like what they see in the mirror, and still a lot fucking despise what they see.

You don't have the right to be depressed.. I was told this by my boss today. What an asshat.

What do people know it's easy for someone to judge without knowing all the facts wish people would think before they speak.

Why. I'm drunk because I have nobody to get drunk with. It feels good that I can kind of get my mind off of things. I haven't been very happy lately. Isn't Christmas the happiest time of the year?

Hey, what's up? In general, it is the happiest time of year, but on an individual level, happiness can be at any level, any time of year.

It just keeps finding a way to get worse. There's no bottom to this, is there?

it goes both ways, no lowest ground, no highest ground, these things are subjective.

Anyone else has problem trying to fall asleep?. I have problems trying to fall asleep. For example i come back from work at night, and then I lie down in my bed when I feel sleepy and I start thinking about my life and i get angry,and sad and I end up lying in my bed for hours litterally being sad. I slept just 3 hours last day,i aam feeling really tired but i can't close my eyes and sleep instead i am drinking beer and waiting for the night to come. Maybe I will sleep then?

When I first began to feel miserable and anxious all the time, had insomnia too. Some nights I wouldnt sleep at all. Today I don't get good sleep, however I sleep enough. The thing is that I feel much worse now than I ever have in my life. But my insomnia is not as bad any more. How does this make any sence ??

Anyone else wants to die?. I am 22 and fed up of this world, I just want to die, anyone else thinks the same?

I sometimes have thoughts like that, but I would never kill myself. P.S. Just a tip, be careful about writing such stuff on the internet. Lots of asshole white knights out there that will call the cops on you to protect you from yourself, even if you aren't actually suicidal. If you think your life is bad, imagine your life on forced medication and in psychiatry with lots of assholes telling you what to do all day and treating you like a child. Don't trust people on the internet.

please kill me.. i'd like all of this to end.

every time i hear someone died always so jealous!

Birthday blues. I hate birthdays. No one remembers it. Not even my Usually just end up crying all day because I realize I mean nothing. My twin usually gets all the happy birthday wishes and cake. a nobody. Wish I could off myself, too wimpy to do that.

Your fiance is a bumface for not remembering. Get a new one. Happy birthday

Anger. Does anyone else ever just get really sharp spirts of anger when your upset?

Yes the anger blossoms and then all that is left is sadness directed inward

I cried in front of my mother.. She didn't believe that social anxiety is a disorder/sickness...

Man she don't know what she's saying then! I had/still kinda have it. There are different levels so I don't know where about's you are but it only gets better if you let it. Try going into a senses deprivation tank if you have one in your town. Trust me. Meditate. Look at yourself and why you think this is. You'll figure it out :)

32m never had a girlfriend. It sucks that I've tried hard to find someone, even with online dating, but I feel like I'm going to be single forever. Not sure if I should just give up or keep trying

33M here and gay. Never been in a relationship. Probably one of the most painful things to deal with. I feel like I might as well give up too at this point.

Flopping on social medias can be kinda depressing. I have 30 Instagram followers. How to get more?

Why is that depressing? You should not let the amount of followers determine how you feel, especially not to this extent. It is not a reflection of what you are worth nor how successful your life is. Even if you would get more followers, what would this solve? You would not even know who most of those people are. I also doubt that an illusion like this could provide anyone with actual happiness. And Instagram has a pretty messed up algorithm anyway, I would personally not even bother.

Just losing all hope in life and people.. Everything seems to be going wrong. politics, environment and my faith in humanity. Nothing seems worth it

Ugh, you are absolutely right; the world and humans are a mess. This might not make you feel better but it has always been a mess. It actually isn't really much worse than it has always been. I read a certain amount of history and have come to realize this. Even if you just read the Old Testament you can see how crappy people were. One thing that helps me is to stay away from news. I don't think it makes us informed if all we know is the bad stuff. Also try subscribing and reading Uplifting News on a regular basis. Made Me Smile is also a good. Finally to really get informed about the good stuff going on in the world, volunteer. I prefer Habitate for Humanity; you meet people from all walks of life doing what little they can to help others. This doesn't make the news very often but is happening everyday.

I have become comfortably numb. afraid of who I am becoming

What does that mean in practice? Are you one of those persons who got tired of being used so now you use others?

How could I be happy if nobody is happy with me?. And why would I want to live on?

Hi there, you know that is a very good question and I used to have similar thoughts as you. I now have a question to ask you, why would other be happy with you when you are not happy with yourself? The thing is, we need to develop self love and self care first. Because without it, we will be too dependent on others and that becomes burdensome because no one's life is perfect and they all have their own issues to deal with. Even though other people wants to love you and support you, they can only do it to a certain extent. The rest of the void that you have inside of you can only be filled by yourself. I know you don't feel it but being able to learn to self love is the key to happiness because that is when you feel like your life is in your control again, not on others. I would recommend you to google how to self love or seek therapy to talk this over and find out what your root cause is. There is always help and a better life when you decide to become better and healthier. I speak from experience. You will get better, believe in yourself.

please can someone kill me. i cant do this any longer. i just want to be normal. ive killed enough people unintentionally by living. someone just kill me

What is normal? Try not to focus on how you like everybody else in a negative light because every single one of us is completely unique in our own beautiful way.

Why do I feel this way. Why do I feel sleep deprived when I've slept nicely? why do I feel like something is wrong when infact, I'm alright? Why do I feel useless? Why do I feel like crying for no reason? Why am I such a sad person? I don't know.. why.

Don't try to make sense out of something which isn't logical, depression never makes sense, which is why it's hard to treat. Have you spoken to a medical professional about it?

I’m just alone. there for me. Nobody cares.

just a stranger on the internet, but not alone. here to listen.

zero motivation. go to classes the last two times i see the point anymore in fact i see the point in anything anymore i just wanna be here

I know exactly how you feel. I can't get myself to study or do any work. Sometimes it really makes me worry about my future, and other times I think Am I even planning on staying here that long?