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Young depression.. I heard toddlers can get depressed. Is this true?

I'm convinced that I was born depressed. As a child I cried more so than other children my age. I still cry and I'm in my mid\-thirties. I think I did read somewhere that some people are born with a gene that makes them more susceptible to depression but it doesn't necessarily mean they will have depression when they get older.

My suicidal thoughts have evolved.. These past few months I've had the regular thoughts eating away at the back of my mind, however I've also caught myself daydreaming about dying. Such as someone invading my house to rob me and ends up shooting me. Or someone pushing me off of a cliff.

Sometimes if I see a bridge or I'm high up I think I could jump and it'd all be over. Your miserable existence would cease.. but I'm too afraid to do it.. and the sad part is that I'm also too weak to live.

sometimes I like fantasizing about jumping off a bridge or in front of a bus. maybe it'll become a reality. hopefully sooner rather than later

Same. I fantasize about shooting myself in the mouth, feeling the gun's cold black metal on my lips, hearing the trigger click, and being finally free from this bullshit.

my friend died of depression. ...at least, he gets over with it... *peacefully*

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know there's not much I can really say to help. I hope they are happy wherever they are. Were you close? I hope you are handling the passing okay.

As a therapist, I became the patient. Exactly a year ago I treated a patient with depression, always in bed with a smelly dark room, no hope. Now I became that patient myself, and although I can relate to him now, I fucking hate my joke for a life.

Yeah I'm working a PSW job and it pains me to see these people who are forced to or even worse don't have anything to do but lay in bed. You see the effects of social isolation and the lack of control. I work with a person with ABI and as much he tries to stay positive, the frustration seeps out of him all the time. The little things we take for granted like going to the bank, buying groceries, picking up prescriptions become so regulated and standardized in their lives, that you can't expect any other reaction but frustration. It's affected my personal life with my relatives because I get so angry thinking about how there is no way to make them better and I lash out for the littlest reasons on them. I understand it's all about perspective but in the already depressed state I'm in, I know I'm not cut out to help other people feel better. Putting in my 2 weeks on April 16th, and heading back to school in May. I can't keep working there, it's making me much more emotional than when I started.

What’s the point?. Title says it all, the point of going on? really nothing but an emotional and financial burden on everyone around me, if I just dropped dead be parties and parades all around, people would finally be happy.

How so are you a burden?

Sad realisation. If i go through with my plans, it will be over a week before anybody actually finds my body.

Dont do it. Please stay safe.

Anyone else pretend they're some fictional character to get away from thinking about their real pathetic self?. I do all the time. I even have like this made up character that I always pretend is me. They have lots of positive traits and talents unlike me, haha.

Frequently. Because life isn't enough.

I want a dog.... But I even really take care of myself, what makes me think I could take care of another being. probably end up somehow fucking it up and hating myself more

start with something smaller, like a hermit crab

You ever had a really happy moment in your life. Only for it to be shattered in a few seconds

always on my own. be happy for a while and then I get hit by a random mood swing and suddenly I hate myself, I be here, I want to go home. It drove a lot of my friends away

I'm fine®. I'm sure we can trademark it now.

Keep up appearances for others, hurt inside. #I'mFine

Does anyone else have a depressive breakdown that goes to the point that you are literally laughing out really loud.. LIFE IS SUCH A JOKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAH

Yeah, it's an odd experience and I often get incredibley cynical and judgemental about people and life.

How can i stop caring what people think of me?. Iv watched stupid countless videos on YouTube, still didn't help

Don't worry, we are mortal for a reason.

Grandma has lung cancer, getting depressed.. The girl I like a lot is mad at me, grandma has stage three lung cancer, dad is always mad at me.. thinking about suicide again...

Everyone die. Maybe you will die from lung cancer too. Its LIFE. For girl you can fix this easy. Explain what you feel about her. And parents always mad in every family, like my mom

I don’t know what to do.. in bed crying rn and I know why. I have any huge reason i just feel sad please help

Is anyone home you can talk to? Has anything happened in your life recently? If feeling really sad/hopeless and it persists or has persisted for a while now, talk to someone about it. I hope you feel better soon, I know it sucks horribly going through that.

Just waiting to die. I'm not actually living, I'm just on auto pilot going through the motions in this shitty life, I feel like I'm just waiting to die. I wake up in the morning anxiously waiting for night to come so I can leave this shit reality, then, the cycle repeats.

Aren't we all? It's basically all there is to life.

They should just hurry up and make a pill that forfeits the hunger for love and companionship.. It would be surrender- letting the shadows of doubt win, but you care. You would finally perceive your world as happy again as you independently went through your life, alone without care. Couples in public would be mere puzzles that you care to solve rather than reminders of failure and what could never be yours. Sometimes I think if such a pill existed I would take it, because the source of all my internal simultaneous rage and sorrow would be vanquished. Only light would remain in my heart, it seems.

This is a pretty unique post, I like your idea. like a pill that removes my insecurities as well.

I don't want to be alone.. But I have to be.

How tragic and true. We of r/depression can be alone together.

It is taking every single ounce of energy to just get through the day.. Its like wading through tar

how's your diet? lack of energy could be related to malnutrition.

so yeah this thing happened. my dad got super mad at my grades then slammed my laptop on my desk and broke it. i had a story i was writing on it and srsly kms if i can't recover it. it was like 6500 words

Jeez, take it to a computer shop and see if they can't salvage the hard drive, as long as the hard drives ok it's still there, and a word of advice, write everything in drive

Once you get to know me, you will hate me.. This is the reason why I decided to be an acquaintance with the most people I know. If try to take the initiative and try to be friends with anybody, it will backfire. I am annoying. I am toxic. There is nothing good about me. it took me 12 years to graduate from college. I am 30 years old. I just got fired from my low skilled low wage job and I have no money saved up. I dated one girl from my previous job. She enjoyed being around me. She laughed at my jokes. We even went on dates. A month later she doesn't want anything to do with me. This is what fucking killed me inside. I'm just going to go back to being quiet. Because if I open my mouth I will ruin the vibe of where ever I am. Motivation is pointless, because in the end, I will always be me and I fucking suck. I want to die.

Nah you and I would probably high-five about how shitty we are together and be bros.

My anxiety feeds my depression, and my depression only feeds my anxiety.. Sometimes I get anxious about getting anxious, I just want to die. It is either I'm depressed or I'm anxious. I can't deal with this suffering anymore. It just lasts forever

I feel the same. I'm sorry.

Sometimes there are actually some point in your life that you just want to close your eyes and forget about the world. I know I am depressed and I am actually doing everything to live a normal life. But there are a time that you will still be pulled back to the black hole. I really want to share everything, but I felt that it will still be useless at all. I feel that everything around me even my self and also all of the happenings in my life is useless and pointless. What a life I got. I literally laugh sarcastically about my life right now. What's this all about.

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling right now, and although everything you do at the moment may feel pointless, there will come a time when your purpose will become apparent, and everything will hopefully make sense. All I can really say right now is to strive on, do the things that make you happy and cherish the people that make you feel loved. I wish you a wonderful future OP, and hope that one day everything will be better.

Too poor to buy the pills I need to over dose.. Lol. Something ironically funny about it.

Yeah, really. I was looking into how much of my sleeping pill I'd need to take to overdose and it turns out I'd need 300 of them for a lethal dose.

I really think that once you feel it, you can't unfeel it. That crushing feeling of hopelessness never really goes away. I've bad a few days where I'm relatively happy but by the end of the night, I can't handle life.

I feel this way too. It's like we've been branded so we can never forget we belong to despair.

I’m going to kill myself in a week. I just thought someone should know

Please maybe someday soon something will go right, happen for me but maybe for you

I'm going to die. I feel more suicidal now than ever.

It's afternoon here in the Philippines. I'm at work now. Can't sleep?

I don’t understand. I have a relatively good life. No money issues, physically fit. Just that my familial relations are a little strained. So why do I feel this way? I feel like I have a reason to feel like this, and that just being ungrateful.

Chemical imbalance in your brain, its alright , happened a lot of time for a lot of people

Need help. What are some painless ways to commit sucide?

The most painless way is to keep living. Nothing is more painful than a beautiful life taken from us. Please please please let someone help you tell the people you care about, give them a chance to help or you will rip a void through their hearts. I don't know what your going through but I know you don't wish this pain upon anyone especially those you love. If I could carry this for you I would and my heart is already breaking just thinking about how you might feel. Don't do it.

Just. Wanna. Sleep.. Can't motivate at all. Idk what to do

As Nas says, sleep is the cousin of death. It's the kindest form of oblivion.

Depression as time goes on. Suffering years of depression has led to not feeling much anymore. I've accepted that it's how it is but the depression is still there. Not sure if anyone else feels similar. Have a good new year r/depression.

Yea, I feel you. Or can't really say that now can I :/ Sometimes when I get a moment of happiness it feels like I was drunk, but the moment goes fast. I don't know how anything feels really, all I know is disappointment or sadness. I am all the time exhausted since I have to put on a show for people, when all I want to do is to close up and go to dance practices. I think the biggest thing I wish would fix itself is that I could feel safe, not walking on constant eggshells:/ Have a happy New Years, I hope this new time brings you all reading this some hope, some recovery, some love, some kindness... sending lots of good energy to your way!

I am fucked what do i do. math exam coming up this week and i have no idea how to math at all everytime in class i try really hard to focus but i never just listen i dont know what to do i dont know anything im so dumb im gonna flunk

you clearly dont wanna do the math. if its for high school or some compulsory assessment, you just gotta power through it and flunk and keep moving forward away from it. if its something you chose to do, you gotta change cos theres nothing worse than being stuck doing something you hate. figure out why you are gonna flunk it, cos it makes all the difference if its something you just dont wanna do. if youre getting down about it you gotta figure out why it means so much to you. good luck i hope it goes ok anyway.

Help me please. I hate myself so fucking much and I can't stop hating myself.i hope I die. I don't want to kms i just want something or someone to kill me. I want to be happy

What makes you happy now? Or at least what distracts you from how much you hate yourself? (Sometimes that's as close to happiness as I can get)

Vodka and malt liquor are not working anymore.. I need lots of vodka tomorrow.

You've built up a tolerance.

Living is hard. It sucks. I'm tired of school. Im tired of work. I'm just tired of everything.

What do you like to do?

I think tonight is the night. I feel like letting go of all this pain, im just some fat piece of garbage. Theres no use in being alive at this point

I hope you're okay. There's always reason to fight even when it feels like there's nothing.

What if this is as good as it gets?. What if life doesn't get better. It just gets easier...

Tbh it probably is. been trying to convince myself for years that it gets better but I know at this point

.... Feeling hopeless and useless at the moment... Empty, lost, darkness

Some days I just want to lie in bed and listen to sad or angry music.

I love burning myself. drunk and starting to bad again, I usually smoke but I like putting them out on skin

sorry you feel this way. I do too. It provides a release.

It's stupid how ridiculously happy I get when my friends chat me. :/. Like wow I sorta matter!!

Not stupid!!! Everyone gets that same feeling

DAE Doubt their depression?. Sometimes after i go to tumblr and see all these things about people with depression and how they get out of their bed sometimes, and they cry themselves to sleep, it makes me feel like my depression bad enough. I know why.

I know what you mean, I've put off going to the doctors for about a year so far partly because of this... I think it's healthier to contextualise it like this: Is my emotional state effecting my quality of life? Do I constantly put myself down and have low confidence? Comparing yourself to others is a race to the bottom, somebody is always 'worse' off in your eyes because you dont value yourself as much as you do other people, your mind down plays your own successes and overplays others. The hard bit is convincing yourself that is the case, fuck even I'm not convinced and I have some self awareness of why I feel the way I do, it's hard man. Your feelings are real and you dont need to prove otherwise to anybody but yourself.

When people think you just don’t give a sh** about anything. But really just so depressed and stressed.

its ok to be sad,the important thing is to beat all the motherfuckers who says that

Someone saw me break down. Fuck. Why does anyone even try to help? They shouldn't. This is my problem, not theirs. I shouldn't be so selfish.

It might be your problem but you have to fight it alone. Humans are social animals. We survive by relying on each other. The group helps you when your down and in return you help the group when your good. You are down now and you can ask for help

every day is the same. and its so boring and lonely

are we the same person?

Exams are too stressful for me. I cannot learn anything without anxiety.

Same. Been suffering for 4 years already. Can't wait to end college.

I love suffering. not lying. Life is too short to lie. I am peaceful, this depression will be the last. I want to sit and suffer, I want to get This is it

I feel you man. I think surpassed normal self harm. Now i not only hurt myself physically I hurt myself emotionally. I love to feel like shit. I like to want to die. When I look back at when I was closest to suicide i want to be back there. I want to be sitting on the verge of death again. What the fuck is wrong with

Too depressed to stop being depressed. I feel like if I was my non-depressed self, I would be able to get myself out of the situation that's making me depressed.

its so weird being depressed and feeling like i cant help other depressed people. so when i think of what to say my first thought is WEL1 W4T I5 MAKING U DEPRESSED? Is there something going on in your life bud?

Not even weed makes me happy anymore. It just makes existing a little more tolerable I guess

Yeah a really bad idea. Just ramping up the artificial amounts of dopamine consuming until numb to everything going to help in the slightest. how you get addicted to heroin.

Can't move. I don't want to expose myself to the outside world right now. They always ask me what I do. Right now, I'm not doing much. I feel extremely heavy. I can't move and I just want to die.

What seems to be weighing you down lately? If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. :)

Has anyone here gotten better and stayed better?. As far as I've been able to tell, no matter if you get better or not, depression will always just come back. Temporary problem, my ass.

One of my friends got better. Like, not just temporarily felt better, but like, actually got completely *better*. Honestly I was kind of shocked. I mean, I guess we all dream of someday getting better, but I'd never really heard of that actually happening before. She lost a ton of weight, got into a happy relationship, and has half a dozen dogs. And she's *normal* now. Like, not depressed or anxious anymore. She's happy. I'm really happy for her, not just because she's my friend and I'm glad she's not suffering anymore (although that's part of it), but also because it means that getting better really is possible and it's not just some made up dream. But at the same time I feel really awful and sad when I talk to her, because when I hear about how wonderfully her life is going now and how great she's doing, I feel like a worthless failure mentioning my own life. We used to bond over talking about how awful mental illness can be, and I felt like she was a light in the darkness, someone who was weathering the storm with me and who truly understood my pain. Now I feel ashamed because she's moved on and I haven't. I feel like bringing up how I feel now would only make her feel guilty and awkward. It feels like as my friends start to get better and move on with their lives while I remain stuck here making no progress, there's no longer any place for me.

Sorry, but I absolutely hate myself. Just needed to express this, to someone. Loneliness, you know?

I know the feel, I just know why

I can’t do this anymore.. I think and firmly believe that I am not loved nor cared by anyone. I feel worthless and useless. Like am not doing anything with my life. I want to end my life I want this all to stop because tearing me up and hurts so much.

hey guys, another one of you guys here. lets all vent to each other? lets spit some emotions out. i feel hopeless. helpless. alone. empty.

Is it my depression or am I just lazy?. I keep putting off doing homework, chores, and even just getting up to get something to eat or drink. Is it just because lazy?

youre giving us little to work with. gonna need more info than that

I'm trying so fucking hard. I swear to god I try getting up early exercising eating healthy going to class but nothing fucking works at the end of the day I still fucking hate myself I'm so tired of it all I just want to be ok but nothing works

You hate yourself? But who is yourself, what do you hate?

I gotta admit, depression has made quite strong man. Feels good to feel emotionally strong

a cool way of looking at it, I have never felt that way but I hope I can one day. Cheers!

How toxic is it. Can you die of muriatic acid?

Oh shit man please fucking don't. Firstly death by acid is more painful than having your DNA ripped apart by radiation. Secondly, explain your life situation to me and we can talk, I'm here for you

Should I end it now that it's all going well?. Things are picking up, slowly but surely. Should I end my life on a high note?

Well you wouldn't really be able to enjoy it while dead.

Those with severe depression: what is your relationship to food now?. I eat/drink 100-600 calories a day. It's absolutely frightening to me that my hunger drive is *gone*. For a small girl, I used to be a voracious eater.

I eat about 1500 calories, not enough for a 21 year old man for sure

Can someone help me. I had a 3.7 gpa, captain of my freshman football team and life was smooth. Now I’m in the 2nd semester my gpa has gone to 2.0 and im unmotivated to do anything. I don’t know what’s wrong or how to fix it.. I let anyone find out.

Talk with your teachers, ask how you can get caught up and back in the swing of things. Most teachers would be happy to have you reach out, plus by being in communication with them, they'll be there to help keep your motivation up. Work out a plan for each class on how to raise grades, maybe see if you can stay before or after school with one of them to have them monitor you while you work. I hate to say this, but school academics come over sports. If time mangement is becoming hard, maybe ask if you can lower yourself from captian position. Freshmen year is easiest for most, so you might want to get help now to save yourself from only deciding to change say in junior year. I'm sorry your mental illness is having an affect like this, but the first step is admitting you want help which you've done so good job! I'll be rooting for you.

Fml. Coming exams, presentations, rosacea skin condition which is fucking up my life. Bad grades because I have no motivation. Can't even bother to type more because life feels so worthless

Yeah, I just took my midterms and it's worst I've ever done on any group of tests. It sucks because I feel like even if I studied way more it wouldn't have made a difference. What kind of exams do you have going on?

I love you.. I may not know you personally but I want to say I love you. I almost committed suicide this last year. If you do decide to commit Suicide I won't be mad I don't know what your going through. I know sometimes the thought of nothingness sounds like a purgatory you'd want to live because that's better than the current hell your living. I was taken to the hospital and I've been through inpatient and out patient care. Zoloft and out patient care have been working for me so far. It's ok to be content to be slightly forlorn. If anyone needs me feel free to message me. If you suspect you have depression or have Suicidal thoughts or actions. Talk to your doctor. My therapist tells me to make plans to hold myself accountable to go out. I won't tell you you need a god or give you advice. I'm content with loving you and grieving with you if you need that. Depression is strange and terrible because you don't always know why your grieving. That's ok. Most of all I want to tell you I love you.

Dear Anna_rampage. Thank you for your kind words. I'm just a regular lonely nobody, but it means the world for me to hear that. That someone really cares. Thank you so much =) It brighten my day.

I spent today either staring blankly at a computer screen or my phone. Was too hurt to do anything today, really.

I wish I even had the will to play games. For me it's excessive daydreaming.

I feel like I'm underwater. I don't feel happy or sad, a little bothered but I just don't care. My limbs feel heavy and difficult to move. I don't want to move or do anything. It kind of scares me, then again that's life sometimes.

Yeah. The numbness is hard to get used to, it sucks. Sometimes it can be better than a roller coaster though.

I need to stop questioning.. I keep questioning everything about who I am and what people think of me on a daily basis. I want to say that I'm in solitude but I'm painfully alone. I ask myself these self reflective questions and end up feeling trapped, if I could; I would jump into a new body and try to restart. I can only distract myself for do long... EDIT: I just wish I could be told that everything is alright sometimes. Maybe I would stop being such an empty she'll of a person.

Do you think you care too much?

Wake up. Lie in bed for hours. Cry. Eventually force myself out of bed only to sit at my computer for the rest of the day. Repeat.. I'm a sack of shit.

Youre not the only one crying today, I hate today.

Anyone else completely useless to society?. I can't get myself to get a job. I dropped out of classes last semester. I do nothing all day but sleep, eat, and smoke pot.

I feel the exact same way. My ex girl friend broke up with me and got pregnant with another guy . Words can't describe what I went through. Atleast your not buying hard drugs right ? If you are I'm not judging you.

My parents are getting a gun for home defense and I don't trust myself. I don't have the heart to tell them how I feel but I'm terrified of what I'll do to myself. Lol what the hell is wrong with me

They should definitely get a safe that only they can access. No problem then.

Do you ever get so depressed you’re sad when you wake up?. at the peak stage of depression rn. I know because when really depressed, I get sad when I wake up. I have really fun dreams where interesting things happen, and I get so sad when I wake up from them I want to die. Can anybody relate?

Every day since she left me. I wake up disappointed I didn't die in my sleep. Sorry you are the same. Fingers crossed for some better luck tonight.

One week. Im gonna kill myself soon. Give me a reason not to. Il probably just shit on it though. Ive cried everyday since november 28, 2015. Please help me.

What happened on Nov 28th?

do you channel your depression into mediums of expression?. for me, i draw. i draw mostly cartoony, happy stuff, which i guess is kind of weird since im not happy at all, but thats what i do how do you express yourself?

I'm jealous of you artists.. I play guitar and I've gotten to the point where I can usually play how I feel but it makes me feel worse normally...the same sad chords and melodies. Do you have any art you'd like to share? I'd love to see some

Can't physically get out of bed. I've been in my bed for 12 hours 5 of which was being asleep. I can't get up without my body just falling back down. This happened last Thursday too.

Yeah I have trouble getting up too. I need my boyfriend to help me stand/walk.

never been this close to suicide.... ive always just thought about it and various methods in a passive manner not really hoping to do anything, but now im actually planning it and hoping to find a good method. I never thought i would actually go this far. Im even thinking about where i can buy materials.

I've definatley been there, but if I've learned anything through my depression, deployments, college and life in general is that it always gets worse before it start s to get better. And I know how cliche that might sound but I can vouch for it. Life isn't going to be easy, whoever says it is, is fucking lying. Life is about perception, mentality over reality. You are strong enough to survive, you can make it, but you have to believe in yourself. Don't let people, or work, or circumstance dictate you. Only let yourself dictate who you are. You can do this

Are there any graduate students with depression?. I feel so alone here. This is slowly killing me. I feel alone. Everybody in my program they all have shit going for them. I made zero friends so far. Anybody???

Does your school have any counseling or therapy? I think depression amongst grad students is way too common

who cares if i exist?. today is a sad day. its just one of those days i guess. i'm just kinda done. theres not much to look forward to these days. everything is just kinda the same.

I care, man. Hang in there, things will get better eventually.

Life is unbearable, what can I do?. I'm stuck in a prison. don't know.

felt like that before and I honestly know what happened to change it. pretty sure I just got so good at hiding it and acting happy just started to believe myself

I seem to always be the first to try and help someone else with their problems, yet when I need help nobody seems to be around to be an open ear for me, I wish I had someone in real life who cared enough to listen to me and just let me spill everything out. Anyone else feel this way?

I'm not entirely certain what reaction you're getting, but I hope you'll give those around you a little slack if they can't be as openly receptive and caring as you need at first. I'm sort of the designated problem solver in my circle, so quite a few of my friends come to me for advice and sympathy. It's never, never a burden. Instead, it's an honor. They trust me with their secrets, their problems, and value my opinion enough to ask for it. Reverse the situation. Aren't you glad when someone comes to you? The thing is, not everyone is built for that. Especially, I have found, it can sort of weird people out when the Rock, the Stable One, the One Person In This Messed Up World Who Has Their Stuff Together needs help. I mean, here's the person they go to and they rely on when they need support... and that person needs support. Suddenly you're not Superman anymore and it can be a bit disconcerting. Perhaps try introducing A problem at a time, slowly, and seeing if they can get used to you also being a normal human with issues. Good luck!!

I don't feel ok. I am acutely aware of my own heartbeat right now. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore... I just wanna be happy

Happiness won't come to you; you have to hunt for it.

I just want to be normal. I thrive to be an individual but honestly I want nothing more than to just stop this sickness and be a normal person again.

ye i thought so too. except im sitting alone crying and they're out doing normal-people stuff and having fun.

I feel so alone. I don't want to bother anyone...

You aren't a bother. :)

I want to tear my skin off and become a new person. I feel like I'm constricted

If it was possible, we would live again but we are stuck in this.

I constantly feel morally and intellectually superior to everyone around me, but with no evidence to back up these feelings.. Like, I'll look around me as I sit in lectures or walk around the university campus and think to myself these people are just so stupid, they understand nothing, they're so shallow and empty-headed, and I feel 100% confident in being right, but then I'll try to logically think about why I'm superior (and I'm also 100% certain that I *am* superior), and I come up with nothing. In any quantifiable measure of superiority, I always fail. And yet, I can't shake this feeling that everyone else is inferior to me. I think maybe it's just a gut reaction because of how unhappy and depressed I am, but I don't know. I know that I probably sound like a complete asshole to anyone reading this, but it's how I honestly feel.

Maybe it's a defense mechanism you created when you were a child? Maybe if you really searched, it's because on the inside you truly feel inferior?

I just want to hug someone.. Unfortunately, that is not possible.

If you were here I would hug you right now.

I was right. I never should've believed anyone could ever love me

That's a load of horse shit. Everyone can be loved. It doesn't matter if it's another person or just a dog. Love is love.

Dropped out of school. Couldn't even do school right, fuck me

I am in the Same boat, I am struggle to do the basic work, but I cant let the depression win

Depression for school kids. It sucks ass when you stand in the hall all one haha. I feel true happiness, I even shed tears. I feel like my body is slowly decaying and my mind has already fallen deceased

I'm with you all the way man. Especially in regards to the decaying part..you just start to break down and it feels like there's no way to raise yourself back up.

Anyone else getting fucked by high school?. I'm seeing a lot of people here struggling with college and I don't know if I'll even get that far. I'm so behind in everything. And its not like I haven't had time to study or do homework. I just ... haven't. Or I couldn't. I can't even tell anymore.

I know. Exactly how I feel. If I can barely survive now, never make it.

I wish I could enjoy my safe haven (my bed), but instead I feel guilty for spending so much time here. Anyone else feel the guilt?

Yeah. Lately it's effected my daily life..work for the most part. I've been feeling guilty for dropping my responsibilities to be in my bed all day. I just wish I could pull myself together.

Should I end my relationship over my own depression?. Should I do it... or not? :< It's affecting my relationship, my bf knows I've had it in the past. But it's getting so bad recently that I think I should end the relationship before it gets worse.

Honestly I think you should just discuss this with him, even if it's in an indirect way like through text or email. Get your feelings out. If he's supportive, great, see if you can work things out. If he's not, take care of your own needs first.

Unemployment. Do you get depressed without a job? What do you do during a day if not at work?

>Do you get depressed without a job? Yeah.I feel useless and like a burden for my family.What good I am for if I can't keep a simple job in a chocolate factory? >What do you do during a day if not at work? Read self improvement articles,watch porn and masturbate,and clean my house. My advice for you you find yourself jobless is: # Do not waste your time. Do not lock yourself in your room and watch porn&masturbate all long.Find something useful to do with your free time.Recharge your batteries.Start working out,you don't need to go to gym,just take a run in the morning and one in the evening.Build your emotional resilience.I do this by reading about it first (I am in the process of finding out what it means and then I have to apply it).A good start is r/Stoicism.Make yourself useful - clean your house and take care of your pets. After that start looking for another job and do not despair.

Pay attention to those little jokes your friends make about you. Those little funny shots are how they really feel and the lowkey hate. I read this quote on the internet today and realised how true it is P.S. This quote is not mine.I saw it on Instagram

The amount of plumber and garbage man jokes they made about me when I told them I wasn't going to uni. Fucking hell, and they blatantly laughed for minutes on end while i was faking my own. And they would bring it up at least once every time they fucking saw me. oh we were just joking man cmon when I jokingly but not so jokingly said I was going to kill myself. Glad I cut off ties with them. Made my depression like 5 times worse during that period. Still hurts. Were my only friends

is having an episode a reason to take a few days off?. Its never been as bad as right now, i detest myself. i honestly couldn't see me going to work like that tomorrow. so is that reason enough?

I think that avoiding work to sit at home in your misery is a bad thing. Getting out of the house is recommended even if it's something like going to work. Obviously do whatever you feel is best but I don't think skipping work is going to help you get any better. For example I could barely get out of bed this morning to go to work but even though I'm here hating it I would alternatively be at home sleeping until 2pm then lay in bed on my phone all day.

I started getting better after a long period of depression but now it's back. like nothing has changed fuck

well maybe there's something that made u feel better for a while, so u felt like you're getting better. Find that shit, don't let your progress go for nothing. I'm rooting for u buddy

I'm Lost In My Life. What are you supposed to do when there is a struggle in life you're trying to solve, but it simply cannot be solved no matter what you do about it. You're stuck living your life in a way you don't want to, either physically and/or mentally imperfect to your perspective, yet there is no cure or solution to your problem. At what point when you're stuck in limbo (at the edge) is it worth questioning, if people say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, what about a permanent problem?

This question kind of reminds me of the book before and it has you questioning these same concepts and to be honest there is no right answer. Life is all about what you do with it, if you do anything then...? You bring up something being a permanent problem, but unless you can see into the future you really know that.

Are there any good depression podcasts or online chats?. Went for a walk today and just kept walking for two hours. Would like to listen to something while I do it. Also looking for good rooms. 7 cups of tea type things, but they went member based and now its shit.

The Hilarious World of Depression is good. Opens your eyes to how many others are suffering that you would never expect.

How do I deal with the pain of loneliness?. It's unbearable. I just want the suffering to end.

I just want to meet someone. Fuck this. People aren't meant to be alone.

What do you do when you go so long without feeling alive?. I feel like all I need is a kick - some tiny stupid spark - to get going again. And it just never comes.

you sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else pass you by.

The difference between good and bad days is starting to get to me.. Before I would just assume the next day would be shit and in some weird way I was content with it. Now that I'm actually making an effort to better myself I now feel happier and but way more depressed at the same time.

Do you mean your bad days feel worse or do you mean you feel bad and good at the same time? Ever since this thing started for me I had fluctuations over the course of the day, days and weeks, where I would have lethargy, tiredness and depression in the mornings for example and then good feelings and even excitement and a lot of energy in the evenings. Also I have very good days/ weeks and suddenly it hits me again. Did you have constant depression and how bad was it?

Why not suicide?. Why it be the answer? Why does it have to be so taboo? Why fo people have to be so sad after a loved on dies? I just want peace, thats all. Death is the only way to get peace.

Some people might not want you to die. If you need help with suicide, I suggest you go to r/SuicideWatch I'm in a bad situation right now but I'm not motivated to do anything, not even suicide.

Woke up crying today. I woke up about 4pm crying my eyes out. Last night I tried holding it in as usual but for some reason it came out even tho I thinking about anything at all.

sorry you feel this way. I have been crying and sleeping for a whole week now, and now I feel worse then ever because I been productive with my free time. Just think about how one day, you will look back on this and wonder why it was ever a problem. This day will come, however long it takes for you to get there. Take your time, blame yourself or punish yourself for feeling this way. This something you have control over and pushing yourself to achieve happiness will only result in a breakdown. Good luck

Do you guys ever imagine yourself killing a 'version' of yourself that's all the things you hate in yourself?. like not killing yourself in a suicidal way, but imagining pushing the depressed-self/the part of yourself you hate off a bridge or building or strangling them? Is this like...self loathing or something? is this normal in non-depressed/mentally ill people?

Sometimes. Though I hate to admit it, but a lot of the time it ends up being me imagining myself as the 'depressed me' with different hair and a more callous personality and the 'good me' is already gone. I don't know what that represents about my own mental state, but oh well