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winduald

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figlang2020-sarcasm

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[ "Dear Trump: the bill is now on your desk. Veto the shit out of it to protect the privacy of people YOU work for. Grow some and stand up to the swamp you supposedly were going to drain. If you dont, we WILL fight back", "If you think Trump gives matters like this anything more than a moment's consideration and a snap decision based on who he's talking to, you haven't been paying attention.", "Mr. President, here is a bill that was unanimously supported by Republicans and unanimously opposed by Democrats. \"Where do I sign?\" The bill concerns Internet companies collecti... \"Where do I sign?\"", "Oh and by the way this is repealing a regulation that Obama wrote, so do with it as you will", "Calling it a decision is pretty generous.", "*I was elected to LEAD not to READ*" ]

[ "Thailand cave rescue: All 12 boys, coach freed, latest updates", "God damn Thai Navy SEALs and the crew that planned it out are really something else. Cutting a 5 hour route down to 3 is incredible efficiency. Cannot imagine how exhausted but relieved everyone must be" ]

[ "Snapchat: \"To attract more Android users, we are building a new version of our Android application from the ground up\"", "[deleted]", "They've got to melt those $39.9m worth of useless spectacles into something.", "[deleted]", "The whole thing seemed like a way to trick investors into buying into the company by faking demand. The lineups that were hours long because they had the one vending machine pop up made people think there was a huge demand. Now that you can buy them anywhere, noone wants them, because they realized they're stupid.", "They have an entire spot on the Venice ~~pier~~ boardwalk with little/no branding, trying to look cool with two photo booths and a vending machine. It's completely fucking soulless and for a minute I tried to figure out why a totally empty space had 2-3 security guards. Its hilarious how out of touch these companies are." ]

[ "Nickelodeon just uploaded a high quality version of the Sweet Victory performance from SpongeBob to their YouTube channel.", "Nickelodeon should at least buy out an ad slot to play this", "Last I heard Superbowl ads are about $30,000 a second. That video is 2:13 so that ad would cost around $4,000,000. Worth it. EDIT: I was way wrong... 2017 Superbowl was $166,000 per second which puts the total actually at $22,078,000 Less worth it.", "Well, cutting out the intro and the outro it's 1:30ish so \"only\" 2.7m.", "It needs the intro! Outro not so much.", "Nickelodeon could Kickstart that shit. The people would want it and chip in, and some rich fan would probably throw a ton in." ]

[ "Before you all start theorizing about Mats recent video, I wanted to remind you that Michael is confirmed to be Williams son.", "To be honest the whole lore of fnaf has become too complicated too the point no one really knows what’s going on. Not even the creator has an official idea what’s going on.", "Yeah, so we shouldn't hate on MatPat because he didn't see a single mp3 file before he made his theory. For all we know, it could accidently be named that, since we know that everybody has the ability to make mistakes." ]

[ "Doctor violently dragged from overbooked United flight and dragged off the plane", "We will not be removing this post, but I just want to stress something. **Do not** witch-hunt/harass moderators of other subreddits that have decided that this type of content does not fit their subreddit. Thank you. Also, this is pretty up tbh.", "Another angle shown [here](<URL>", "Did he break the arm-rest to pull him out?", "I think they yanked him over the arm rest. The guy's mouth is bloodied; looks like they may have hit him in the face, which may be why he's prone as they drag him off (or he could be passively resisting). In either case, definitely an overuse of force.", "That's a pretty serious injury. They should see if there's a doctor on the flight to give him medical attention." ]

[ "A person wearing a suit in a room of people in t-shirts is usually the most important person there, a person wearing a t-shirt in a room full of suits is more likely the most important person in the room", "The CEO of the company I work for said that it's not uncommon for programmers to be asked to dress down for important meetings. Apparently investors don't think programmers who dress well are good programmers.", "This is common with IT companies as well. Sometimes I wonder if my buddies employee’s compete as to who can look the most hungover and scruffy.", "My last IT job I literally wore flannel every single day. One week I decided to get fancy and even wear a different colored flannel each day. Damn dress codes now.", "I work for a department store chain. When I started there I packed internet orders and could wear jeans and a t shirt. Then they promoted me to work in the cash office in the back office, but for some reason I had to dress nicely so I got basically a whole new wardrobe. Then 6 months later they moved me to the corporate office to do IT and I'm back to jeans, flannels/t shirts and sneakers." ]

[ "Moscow residents say they have found that the only way to get the council to clear snow is to write the name of opposition leader Alexei Navalny on it.", "*Tatyana Grigoryeva - a member of a local residents' group in the city's Nagorny district - posted four pictures of Navalny's name painted on snow, and later took video of two street cleaners scraping away one of the markings from a pavement.* *In some areas of the city, the snow was not removed, but Ms Grigoryeva said council workers were witnessed merely mixing up the snow to obscure Navalny's name.* *In a post she said: \"They've managed to just mix it up with their shovels. I'll have to write it again.\"* Those clever government workers find a way around everything.", "Yeah, i was thinking \"why not just cover his name? It's much less work.\"", "clearing snow is doing your job covering writing on snow not soo much, and make you look bad and your boss and his boss and...", "And the last thing you want is to make Putin look bad", "Yeah, we don't want him to look like a homicidal psychopath tyrant." ]

[ "Hawaii wants to create a law that will ban games with loot boxes to people under 21 years old. What do you think about that?", "My province doesn't allow the sale of M rated games to those under 18 years of age. I expect this will work just as well", "... So it's not gonna work at all?", "It'll work very little, and it won't prevent access from the people who most need access prevented, IMO", "If more states put this in it might make high end developers reconsider putting this shit in their mainstream games, even though it would have little real implications for the kids buying them. Kind of how the movie industry takes PG-13 labels seriously even tho most kids that age would have no trouble sneaking into higher rated films.", "Just like most laws banning or restricting things.", "... Especially when enacted but not enforced", "I dunno, if they phrase it right, they might take out F2P games with exploitative elements that are available on mobile. That would be nifty." ]

[ "Me and the homies before going to see Straight Outta Compton. The tour, not the movie. Circa 1989", "Old school? Come on now.. making me feel like a senior citizen.. :/" ]

[ "Chrome will start blocking ads on February 15", "Good. Maybe ads will stop telling me my \"Google phone\" has a virus. They've been pretty rampant the last week or so. Edit: RIP my inbox Also edit: I experienced this yesterday on xda. Didn't have porn sites in mind when I made this comment, that pesky Four Virus!", "But it's 24 percent damage from 6 virus!", "[Computer over. Virus = very yes.](<URL>" ]

[ "TIL if you play fantasy football you are most likely a white male who is not married, have at least a bachelors degree, and earns between 60-100K", "I do not make anywhere near $60K lmao", "If it makes you feel any better, 60k in San Francisco is still poor lol", "Yea man I make just over 60K in Bay Area and I’m on the poverty side of things. After bills and groceries there ain’t much fun money left", "What do you do? I'm in the east bay myself. Rent is ridiculous", "Cannabis industry", "Go to northern CA or Oregon?" ]

[ "Arsenal and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang have agreed on a 3-and-a-half year contract with a €10m-a-year wage. (Source: @DiMarzio)", "This isn't happening. If it does we must play with 2 strikers" ]

[ "Everytime", "American here - this problem is universal. Best use of this format I've ever seen.", "Yep, had the same problem in the States and Australia. Pretty sure the systems are made by the same company of evil bastards who are gleefully torturing us at every opportunity.", "Actually the company that makes these is demonstrably, historically evil. Let me know if you want to know more, I'm on mobile so not gonna search around for links if nobody is interested.", "The same dudes who make insanely insecure voting machines in America?", "<URL>" ]

[ "Two years later, I still miss the headphone port", "Note 9 user here. The only thing missing from this phone is an HDMI port lol. Otherwise it's perfect!", "But you can do usbc to hdmi on that phone." ]

[ "This tall-ass bathroom door in my parents Swiss apartment.", "OP, are you just hanging out in your parents bathroom making gifs about their door?", "I've actually been running back and forth to the bathroom repeatedly; they probably think I'm having terrible stomach problems.", "\"He's been going back and forth to the bathroom with the phone in his hand. I hear him filming in there and giggling\".", "How do you hear someone filming? It's not 1930.", "You're telling me you don't use the video recording app Pleographr that makes the vintage noise?", "I just make the noise with my mouth while using the video on my phone.", "Are you making the noise from the ramen you're eating?" ]

[ "What if they pumped the basketballs full of a little bit of water before each game?", "1/3 so it’ll be more unpredictable", "I’m willing to experiment with different levels to get the ideal amount", "I did that with alcohol in my teens...", "But, that’s illegal", "Are you assuming that the whole world has the same laws as USA? England, can drink from 18" ]

[ "Sexist comedienne gets owned over recent London terror attacks.", "I'm sorry but...who is this Sofia Hagen? You say she's a comedienne but I've never heard of her nor seen her work. Is she another one of those performers whom makes it their life mission to elicit reactions from people? I've got a feeling she might be." ]

[ "My dog destroyed her toy cactus, and there was another sad cactus inside", "Inside every happy cactus is a sad cactus waiting to come out.", "but on the outside, cacti are mostly pricks.", "I'd make an excellent cactus. Missed my calling.", "I identify as a cactus and this insults me" ]

[ "Brutal Canadian Road Rage Incident Caught On Camera", "That brutal head shake at the end. Wow." ]

[ "Every time", "Do people not just use incognito /private mode?", "I mean, it is *my* PC. I won’t use no private mode on my own pc. What if I need to find the same video again in a few days and it won’t be in my browse history?", "It's fine, if you know that other people don't tend to use your pc.", "And if other people are going to use it, make a guest account like a sane person." ]

[ "229 House Republicans just voted to keep Trump’s tax returns secret", "Issa on Friday: Calls for special prosecutor to investigate Trump's Russian ties. Issa on Monday: Votes not to open up Trump's tax returns, which could play a significant role in Russian interference investigation. What a worthless twat", "As with McCain, you can't trust words. You have to watch actions. Issa can say anything he wants, but in the end, the only thing that matters is votes.", "What I don't understand is McCain made this whole speech over in Europe about \"how dictators get started\" and he won't even persuade the* house republicans to release the presidents tax returns. Just votes along with the party. They're scum that just spews words that have no meaning.", "McCain is a senator for one.", "A senator who almost lost his own primary and is on the way out. He has a lot less influence than people think." ]

[ "The kids are alright", "Another good one I saw: *It's getting hot in here, so take off all your coal.*", "I think my favorite was “no scomo but the earths pretty hot”", "Mine was \"I've seen better cabinets at IKEA\"" ]

[ "Jeffery Epstein Sex Trafficked Underage Girls And trump’s Secretary Of Labor Illegally Covered It Up, Federal Judge Says", "I bet we won't see any \"pedes\" trolling in this thread. The trump/Epstein connection makes their brains melt and they refuse to acknowledge it. Donald trump raped, punched, and threatened the life of a 13 year old girl.", "Saw a thread from the upside down yesterday about Clinton palling around with Epstein though!", "If Bill Clinton was mixed up in this, which he was definitely around the same crowd, he needs to go down, too.", "And this comment right here is the difference between the Republican base and the Democratic one." ]

[ "The Naked truth about Double Standards", "She deserves jail time for the domestic abuse and false accusations. Poor Johnny :(", "How is it not libel on a ridiculous scale? His career is worth millions every year. She purposefully and knowingly lied about him in order to destroy his reputation. That's the fucking definition of libel.", "Well he is currently suing her", "For 50 million dollars, no less.", "How much did she make on aquaman?" ]

[ "Spoiler Main event winner calls out person in crowd, they storm the cage and engage.", "What would have happened if he had lost?", "She would have said no." ]

[ "Louisiana eye doctor offers free eye exams for NFL referees after Saints loss", "Chiefs game had horrible officiating as well. It was at least pretty evenly horrible though. The Saints just got screwed. Said as a Chiefs fan that is still sad." ]

[ "Chocolate is now illegal. What’s its street name?", "fun fact: the name chocolate comes from ~~Aztec~~ Nahuatl word _xocoatl_ meaning \"bitter water\". They prepared it as a drink only and never put sugar in it, so it was always bitter in taste.", "“Get me some of that xocoatl” It sounds like one of those medicines that has like 80 side effects in the commercials", "It would get shortened to 'Zocat' or 'Xoco' on the street. It would be called 'Catl' for a short while too, but that would evolve into 'Brown Cow'.", "I feel like the last step would only happen for milk chocolate", "I was going for 'catl' -> 'cattle', as they're homophones.", "What do they have against gay people?..." ]

[ "Someone gets it", "I could be wrong, but it's that the *point*? Flipping the genders around, you see just how freaking bizarre and sexist those images are. It's like that site that replaces raceex with words for Jewish people and you realize Vice spews rhetoric straight out of the Third Reich.", "Right but what's the point, since we understand how bad those old ads were" ]

[ "#JustSendBitch 😂😂😂", "\"You can't find it on Google.\" That's often the case with bullshit that you've just made up.", "Unfortunately, [he didn't make it up](<URL>", "TIL that urban dictionary is a peer-reviewed, valid source for disease reference.", "Yep, they just got approved the other day" ]

[ "Nearly 500 million animals killed in Australian bushfires", "While the Australian PM was having a cocktail in Hawaii and the emergency minister just left for a euro trip", "Quick, change the locks while they're out.", "Or direct the fire at their houses. Oops!" ]

[ "Senate defies trump, passes historic resolution to end US support for Saudi Arabia in Yemen war", "Cool. Hey Senate, can you pass some resolutions on climate change next so that the rest of us don't die too?", "nah, we have investments in coal companies." ]

[ "FTC Says Warranty Void If Removed Stickers Are Bullshit, Warns Manufacturers Theyre Breaking the Law", "\"What are you gonna do, sue us?\" - The companies that don't care", "* The companies with lawyers oozing out of their buttholes." ]

[ "My best friends dog was shot and killed by the police when they showed up to the wrong house. They are trying to cover it up.", "Wake up to the American reality. This isn't the first nor last incident. Innocent people and their pets die every day. 98% of assault charges brought against cops have been dismissed within the system. Still think the gov is \"by the people, for the people\"? He saw an open window and decided to investigate as a potential burglary? What kind of shit, seriously? I bet he'll get off with a paid \"suspension.\" Your country's police state is getting worse by the minute." ]

[ "CBS reportedly prepared to give Tony Romo substantial raise", "He already makes $4mil a year apparently, I’m thinking he’s about to make $6-7?", "Gruden was making close to 7m at espn. So yeah, I’d say around that figure.", "10 Book it", "If they think he'll go to another network, he'll hit 10. No problem." ]

[ "People who pile on generic YouTube comments like “Who’s watching in 2019”, why do you do this?", "i like the \"this artist is so underated \" comment. especialy when is about artists who were big stars in their day.", "Even better when they are big stars right now...", "Omgosh Billie Eilish is SO underrated right now tho, but like shes the only one who like, GETS it yaknow?" ]

[ "Accurate tbh", "Im laughing but also crying", "It's okay still love you guys. Let's have some fish&chips and a pint and wait for it to blow over... someday.", "Im game for that Or a Chinese Love me a Chinese", "Just because you're leaving the EU doesn't mean you can just go around eating the Chinese! Have some decency!", "If we leave the EU with no Deal im mad Maxing this country Fucking everyone is on the plate", "Mate, you don't need to leave the EU for that. You can just go to Australia.", "hahahah ill let Theresa May know", "We could all chip in to send her, one way obv.", "I'll throw £20 towards a leaky dingy and paddle." ]

[ "Top lads taking down a terrorist after he killed 2 on London Bridge", "There is one crazy thing about this story, one of them is not such a top lad \"*Another man who dived in to help was convicted murderer James Ford* *Now 42, Ford was jailed for life – with a minimum of 15 years – in April 2004 for the murder of a 21-year-old with learning difficulties.* *Amanda Champion – who had the mental age of a 15-year-old – was found strangled and with her throat cut on waste ground near her home in Ashford, Kent, the previous July*.\" [<URL>](<URL>)" ]

[ "What common product has a feature you’re not sure everyone is aware of?", "To totally eliminate sunburn pain, apply apple cider vinegar. I was on a family vacation and got absolutely FRIED by the 3rd day. My sister in law wanted to spray me down with it, saying it would help, but I wouldn't let her because I thought she was trying to punk me. By the evening it hurt so bad that I'd try anything. Sprayed it on with a sprayer (like a Windex bottle) and within 5 minutes the pain was gone. I was still red, of course, but the pain was 99% gone. It was absolutely miraculous! TL;DR: Apple cider vinegar magically makes sun burn pain vanish" ]

[ "Congress introduces ‘Save the Internet Act’ to overturn Ajit Pai’s disastrous net neutrality repeal and help keep the Internet 🔥", "How is Ajit Pai still in charge? EDIT: My first silver, thank you stranger! P.S it's really sad how badly broken the political system is seen to be (not a U.S citizen so i am not qualified to comment on whether it is or isn't, just an observation on general public opinion)", "He repeatedly lied to Congress, which is a felony, but if it serves partisan interests, no one cares.", "Who has the power to remove Ajit Pai from his position, or to replace him?", "Donald Trump. It is an appointed position." ]

[ "Why they have to do Baker like that", "He wasn't that bad.. you are all expecting too much from a middle teir free starter QB. And I like Baker.. but he only had on game against the Bengals that was really good . . Take that game away and he has only ok stats.. and he is like 1/5 against winning teams . So he definitely isn't that great yet." ]

[ "UPDATE. EA announces plans for next gen controller.", "This image is photoshopped. I'm a graphic designer and work with photoshop all day, every day. If you look closely, you can see the card is a much lower resolution than the controller if you look closely." ]

[ "Deutsche Bank Staff Saw Suspicious Activity in Trump and Kushner Accounts", "How is Kushner still doing so much high-profile talks in name of the US Government? Security issues, financial issues, competence issues. It's clear as day nepotism but everyone seems ok with it." ]

[ "Fantasy Misogyny...", "Not like there's any shirtless men with unrealistic bodies in those games. Oh wait I'm sure that's the patriarchy's fault too.", "That's just power fanatasies. You misogynistic men just wish you were that buff. Women *totally* don't care about muscular or physically attractive men. " ]

[ "My friend was out riding and of course...", "OMG the dumb fuck just stops on the highway what a shit for brains!!~!", "Yea that’s a second ticket around here.", "[deleted]", "I don’t want a pickle, just wanna ride on my motorsikel.", "And I don’t want a tickle, I’d rather ride on my motorsikel." ]

[ "Cop pepper sprays large group of motorcyclist passing safely on the highway. TX", "<URL> ----- Editing this comment since it seems to be at the top and this post is now front page of /r/all. This is in Fort Worth, Texas. The following post addresses Texas' relevant Move Over Law: <URL> which determines the legal requirements of vehicles coming upon an emergency stop. Basically, since not all of them could make it to the left lane, they are also legally allowed to slow 20 mph under the posted limit, which was 65 on this road. From the video and testimony from those on the ride, it's quite clear they were below that limit. The article states FWPD could not identify the officer. That is bullshit. I will not start a witchhunt, but he has been ID'd, namely by the people in the truck with the ticket, who were randomly hit with the pepper spray and have been pictured choking on it during the stop. Internal affairs is already on the task. Don't expect him to be fired right away. In fact, give the man a medal and a promotion like they already do everytime something like this happens. As you will likely find out, there were people in this large groups who did stunts. Some people are using that to justify indiscriminately ~~pepper~~ OC macing a large group of cyclist while they operate vehicles in heavy traffic in speeds in excess of 40mph. There are comments that pregnant women unassociated with the ride were hit by the spray. Ride safe.", "\"Does not know who the officer was.\" Car # 183, how the hell can't you pick that out of a roster.", "We know who the officer is. That's just posturing on their behalf.", "At the Toronto G20 summit, some cop randomly started wailing on some poor guy walking by and eight cops caught watching on video could not recall the incident or identify the cop. This is the world we live in, anyone can just have bad luck and get randomly attacked by a cop and if there isn't video, they will get away with it.", "The scariest part is that it seems like even if there is video, they still get away with it or let off easy half the time." ]

[ "The Astros stole signs electronically in 2017 — part of a much broader issue for Major League Baseball", "**Reminder:** Asking for or posting part or all of articles behind a paywall is a violation of [subreddit rules](<URL> Breaking this rule may result in a temporary or permanent suspension from the subreddit. If you have any questions about what is or is not allowed, or if this article is not paywalled, please [send us a message](<URL> *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseball) if you have any questions or concerns.*", ">The Astros did not use the same system in away games, sources said. You mean they didn't have a camera in the OF linked to a TV on the wall outside of the away team's clubhouse? Shocker haha.", "I’d be interested to see the home away splits for Houston batters when catchers were only giving one sign instead of a series of signs. Compare those to the splits of home and away for when catchers were giving a series of signs instead of just one sign.", "I mean they only lost like 16 games at home this year. Safe to say they had an insane home field advantage", "Not in the WS" ]

[ "Mr. Hands over here. On a NATIONALLY televised broadcast.", "On the scale of bad decisions, this ranks pretty high.", "I think this is worse than Michael Scotts Totts" ]

[ "I just went to Blackpool. Wtf, England?", "Damm I wish this could make it to r/all", "I'll give you the /r/all experience \"england is really going down the drain, sad to say that this is not an unusual occurence over there, I know somebody who's been to europe before and he's told my friend all about it\" \"why is this the front page??\" \"this is why you need guns, one time a gangster tried to hit me but I showed him my glock and he went running\" \"i was thinking about booking a holiday to britain but now I will consider other options\" \"Do the police just immediately turn to violence because the populace have no means of defending themselves? Hearing about stuff like this makes me really glad I live in a free country.\"", "\"No way Blackpool is a real place lol\"", "rofl" ]

[ "Homophobic caucus goer finds out Pete is gay after committing to caucus for him", "The following re-uploads of this video are available: * [Mirror #1](<URL>#/watch/eyn5ia) (provided by /u/tuckbot) **Note:** this is a bot providing a directory service. **If you have trouble with any of the links above, please contact the user who provided them.** --- [^look ^at ^my ^programming](<URL>", "this really shows not many people do their research when deciding who to align themselves with/vote for... it's kinda scary", "I was watching an interview with 4 caucus-goers who were all voting for different candidates. They all talked about why they liked their candidates. The older women voting for Pete and Biden basically said they liked their personalities and thought they were electable. THAT's NOT A PLATFORM! EDIT: Ohgod, my inbox...", "And that's quite honestly how most people vote anyways, whether they're open about it or even aware of it. Policy has NEVER been the most important part of a candidate's electability, at least not in a god damn long while.", "I remember there was a King of the Hill episode where Hank made all this fuss about how important voting is and then almost skipped out on the election because Bush had a limp handshake lol." ]

[ "A German circus is using Holograms instead of live animals for a cruelty-free magical experience. And its cool.", "So I'm a bit confused here...... Isn't the purpose of a circus that the animals are trained? Isn't that what makes it cool? How is this different from watching a movie? Seems like a useless circus to me.... EDIT: To clarify: This is cool, and I'm all for saving animals, just dont see this as the greatest business model", "I think it’s a well intentioned effort to maintain the educational/entertainment value without adhering to the negative aspects of how circus animals are treated.", "Unfortunately good intentions usually mean bad business", "You’re getting downvoted but honestly there’s probably not too many people who would pay to see holographic animals over the real deal", "Says you.", "Right? I would go to the holographic circus over one with real animals any day.", "You can sell me on animals that belong in North America. But elephants, and other exotic animals do not belong in such captivity. Anyone who argues against that, or Sea World keeping Killer Whales, is basically saying they are fine with keeping a dog tied to a pole with a short leash its entire life. Anyone who is okay with that has a depraved heart and a nihilistic view of the world." ]

[ "Reaction of every reasonable player", "oh nice they're going to finally remove premium ammo! Can't wait!", "Yea its so great, cant imagine how we r gonna pen a type 5 now", "The obvious solution would be giving the Japanese and russian heavies weak spots" ]

[ "Virgil Van Dijk wins UEFA player of the year", "YES LADS! Take that leak up your arses", "We're a bit busy right now, mate", "James “Cum on my face” Pearce. Link for the newbies - <URL>", "You're doing the Lord's work. Thank you, sir/madam" ]

[ "Remember when Satoru Iwata cut his salary by 50% for 5 months due to the commercial failure of the Wii U, instead of firing people...these companies should take note.", "This isn't actually that strange, and is normal for a lot of Japanese companies. CEO's in Japan make significantly less than their American counterparts. American CEO salaries are usually 300x that of the average worker in the company. Japanese CEO salaries are closer to 15x. That info might be out of date now, last I checked Western influence was creeping in, but fundamentally Japan is still a collectivist culture regardless of Western meddling. It would be seen as shameful to take a large pay increase at the cost of the worker's overall success.", "Heck, I remember watching a documentary back in the 90s about Japanese companies and one of the CEOs was asked what advice he would give to American CEOs, and the first thing he said is that American salaries are far too high.", "Lol yeah, that's some advice that American CEOs are definitely going to take: \"lower your own salary.\"", "[deleted]", "Sounds quite likely tbh, most CEOs are meant to be ambitious people but there's a very thin line between ambitious and greedy" ]

[ "\"Manspreading\" has found its match in what I call \"Bagspreading\"", "She is doing it on purpose... sitting sideways with her bag there. It's easy.. just go up and ask her to move her bag. Then watch as she flips out for no reason...might throw a cat at you...", "Oh, it is totally an offensive move. She has created an environment there for herself that she is actively barricading. This type of person needs to be \"checked\" publicly for a couple of reasons. 1) to show other people that it IS ok to address social BS like this 2) show people that do this that it is not ok and it might be called out 3) seats are for asses, not purses. If she wants to play cuddle knee, cool, i might start picking my nose and wiping it on my jeans tho. ;)" ]

[ "New trailer for The Clone Wars", "Getting up early in the morning every Saturday to watch this show is some of my fondest memories with the franchise as a whole. I am absolutely stunned that they're finally finishing the story." ]

[ "Insane Ripper Spree", "Sigh, if I tried that, the first guy facing me would have a Locus and perfect aim", "[Yup, happened to my friend earlier](<URL>", "thats bullshit lol. the gun wasnt even in line with his body." ]

[ "The New Zealand Parliament has, for the first time, debated what action should be taken on climate change. Quite an historic debate as every single party is in agreement that not only is climate change a fact, but that we should be doing something about it. A rare sight to see in politics.", "This is another embarrassing blow to the Australian government. Thanks NZ for making us look bad." ]

[ "the fog during my flight makes illinois seem like it hasn’t rendered", "This is almost timed perfectly with the legalization of recreational marijuana, though that doesn’t start until next week." ]

[ "Congress explained.", "Analogies with aspects of family life provide little insight into the optimal level of debt a nation should hold.", "I really, really wish I lived in a country where this point didn't have to constantly be made.", "It embarrasses the libertarian position when the comparison is made. Especially embarrassing that it gets 3000+ net upvotes on this subreddit.", "\"government should be run like a business\" is another one.", "Might be one of the dumbest lines I hear a lot of people say. Umm, how about we run the government ***like a government?***" ]

[ "3/2 Alphelios vs Full HP enemy team", "All 5 overextended. Any farther than the Nexus turrets is trolling." ]

[ "This lad went under the tarp and army crawled for 50 feet to recover the first home run ever hit by the Red Sox outside of North America", "First home run ever hit by the Red Sox in Europe. Brandon Moss homered in Japan in 2008.", "Damn. Now it's useless and he has to throw it back.", "It's not nice to throw Brandon moss around like that", "Moss always lands on the north side of the rock. He’ll be fine." ]

[ "The Nerfing of Isaac:After AfterBirth", "Fuck, was waiting to unlock the holy mantle for the lost before tackling hush/mega satan...was really going to rely on the stopwatch for hush, now I'm fucked.", "If you can get a good amount of orbitals and/or BFF, the Hush can't touch you." ]

[ "Emojis shouldnt be used for affirmation.", "There's a special HuffPo for women huh. Guess this is the caliber of journalism they aim for.", "[deleted]" ]

[ "Just a post Mom", "DAMN! His mom is cool.", "Mom is sick of his shit lol", "well, if he regularly posts things like this on Facebook, which he likely does, I think a lot of people are sick of his shit.", "Except for Redditors, who are entertained haha.", "*Turns out OP is his mom!* ^^^I ^^^don't ^^^actually ^^^know ^^^just ^^^fyi." ]

[ "Postgame Thread Arizona State Defeats Oregon 31-28", "I can't decide if ESPN is sad that their 6v7 matchup is ruined or happy that they don't have to pretend to care about the Pac 12 anymore lol", "They can now just push more SEC teams into the playoff. Especially after Alabama's big win over WCU" ]

[ "IDEA Petition to bring back the miniature storages on top of the Clan Castle to gauge how full your treasury is", "wow I forgot about this. My favorite part of this sub is all the nostalgia. I discovered this game at a very exciting time in my life like 6 years ago and so much has changed since then", "Remember tapping each individual barracks to train troops? How about when we could only upgrade walls with gold?", "I miss sniping dark elixir storage with lightning" ]

[ "Im going to cancel Netflix and negotiate with each film producer separately, to get the best deal for me and my family #Brexit", "How many attacks has your nation had in the last 6 months? The UK is not the UK anymore." ]

[ "Dying Before April: My Endgame", "Are you @alexand63802267 on Twitter? Just want to make sure.", "Yep", "Great. Godspeed my friend!", "Absolutely crazy how the community came together for a good cause and we managed to make it happen in a short amount of time, hopefully people like OP can receive better help as new discoveries and advances in technology go along.", "Congrats! Hope you enjoy it!" ]

[ "Yasiel Puig has officially become a US citizen!", "bring me your tired, your poor, your batshit crazy outfielders" ]

[ "i did it!!! 0% ALL SAVES!!!!!", "Can you make an online guide on how to accomplish this feat?", "press play on steam" ]

[ "Donald trump suggests he wants US law to limit free speech in wake of publication of explosive new book", "Where are your pocket Constitutions now, you Tea Party fucks?", "[removed]" ]

[ "Turkish reporter realising hes talking to a mushroom instead of microphone is the best thing Ive watched this week", "Fun fact: it's not a mushroom but an old wooden mallet (600 years old according to the reporter). See [here](<URL> for the full video in Turkish.", "I was wondering what kind of mushroom doesn't fall apart when it gets swung around like that. Thanks for clearing that up." ]

[ "Pelissero The NFL has suspended Myles Garrett indefinitely.", "That game could not have gone better for the Ravens" ]

[ "Mesut Özil and his fiancé will celebrate their upcoming marriage by covering the expenses for the surgeries of over 1000 kids in need", "Please note: He said \"all over the world\". Almost everyone's insured in Germany. I have know people who tried to get out of this system, but it's really hard not to be insured here in German and most people are very glad about this." ]

[ "Uber’s search for a female CEO has been narrowed down to 3 men", "*A company trying to recover from allegations of rampant sexism might reasonably think that hiring a female chief executive would help it restore credibility with customers and – perhaps more importantly – with potential employees in a tight marketplace for talent.* *But what if no women wanted the job?* *That looks to be the case for Uber, the troubled ride-hailing company trying to replace deposed chief executive Travis Kalanick after a reign defined by highflying growth and a toxic brand of corporate machismo. In the wake of Kalanick’s departure, a number of A-list female executives have made it clear they are not interested in the role.*", "[deleted]" ]

[ "Sebastian Vettel takes Pole Position at the 2019 Canadian Grand Prix!", "Would've been nice to see some of his lap on the live broadcast instead of Bottas's awful lap!" ]

[ "I CRACKED THE CODE GUYS, FOR REAL.", "The image is 109 x 109 pixels by the way ;)", "dammit edmund" ]

[ "Man wakes up after sleeping for 3 hours on stream to find he has 200 viewers", "If you open the link in a new tab you can see the chat reaction", "That was the best part! Idk why this video made me smile so hard" ]

[ "Kentucky Democrats sell Moscow Mitch gear after McConnell blocks election security bills", "Hey Kentucky voters, how can we help?", "[deleted]", "Link to donate?", "[deleted]", "This might be useful too (and it's only volunteering so it should be 'kosher'): <URL>" ]

[ "CensorshipYoutube cuts ad revenue for Phillip Defranco for posting Annaliese Nielsen video", "[deleted]", "Yeah. They changed their terms of service today to disallow any controversial or sensitive subjects." ]

[ "Police warn they may use live ammo on protesters in Hong Kong", "Well this warning came in a little too late didn’t it?", "Its probably a confused time traveling news agency", "For the first time, I completely understand why America doesn’t want to let go of their guns and I agree with it. :(", "That's basically the original point of the 2nd Amendment, that you'd never lack the ability to defend yourself against an occupying power 🙄🙄, so many replies all of a sudden", "Right. Without a means of being able to defend yourself and your rights, none of the other amendments really matter.", "Eh, freedom of speech and press are on par, without them you cant organize the resistance. Those three all rely on eachother." ]

[ "So I drew the Ts as kids", "I bet that kid used his parents' credit card to get the Karambit smh E: My first gold. Thank you kind stranger", "Or it's just a cardboard cutout of one.", "I feel like one of them should have one of those flip-out hair combs." ]

[ "Put Patch Notes IN THE ACTUAL GAME", "I'm not sure why this isn't a thing. It's not like it would be hard.", "Cut to a few months later and the patch notes are pervading our home screens and breaking friend/clan functionality. Doesn't get fixed until next year." ]

[ "Recent Rape case involving MLA of Unnao", "We are busy building statues, we don't have time for these petty rape cases " ]

[ "Having a girlfriend is cheating! ", "Reminds me of when 2 guys at a tournament were playing and the dudes controller disconnected and the other guy paused to let him plug it back in, then the 1st guy said that he should SD because in the rules, pausing means you lost a stock." ]

[ "Blizzard is trying to hide this clip. Do your part in making sure they fail.", "The Diablo Immortal trailer on YouTube currently has 7k likes and 234k dislikes. URL", "This is the second time they posted the trailer too right? Like, they deleted the first one to hide the ratio, and when they posted it again, it got even worse.", "There's already at least 3 for Europe alone. Someone on the Blizzard Diablo 3 forums has been keeping track. URL" ]

[ "UPDATE. EA announces plans for next gen controller.", "Inserting the card gives players a sense of accomplishment.", "You even get a trophy for it. Then one trophy for first DLC bought. And to get platinum you have to buy all the DLC." ]

[ "Request$10,000 offer iOS 12.1 Jailbreak within the next 48 hours", "I would do a lot of things for a JB right now, but I don't know if I would pay 10k. Good luck though!" ]

[ "Iran says it unintentionally shot down Ukrainian jetliner", "Should’ve admitted this immediately after they shot it down", "They were hoping that they could have plausible deniability but then somebody released footage of the plane being hit by a missile and the evidence became undeniable.", "I’m more than a little concerned about the safety of the people who filmed those videos.", "True that. Remember those pictures of the missile nose cone that people were sharing? There were a couple of times I linked to some Iranian twitter accounts that were sharing them, only to find the accounts had been deactivated some time later. This isn't to mention the fate of the guy who actually made the mistake of shooting down the airliner. Things can't be going well for *him* right now.", "A common misconception going around Reddit is the idea where only 1 guy decides to execute a missile launch. On the contrary, there's a chain of command and at least 10+ people, possibly including some of their generals, approved the launch. The one feeding the misinformation could still be held liable but hey, there's that.", "Right, which makes the whole situation that much more absurd. On top of the fact that this AA site was only 10 km away from the largest international airport in the country...like imagine setting up an AA site in Brooklyn and targeting every jet that takes off from JFK. And the fact that they thought a giant, slow moving 737 in any way resembled a US missile or attack jet. The layers of stupidity are unbelievable." ]

[ "Football PerspectiveThe Dolphins have tanked this season, and while its been a lost year for Miami fans, it will all be worth it if they can find a franchise QB in the Draft. If they can get a QB as good as the Titans have, Miami will be in good shape for a long time.", "Plenty of guys have turned it on for a season, got paid, and went back to normal. Dolphins could be having the last laugh this time next year.", "The ol' Fitzpatrick special. He is the Kramer of the NFL. He always falls assbackward into a starting role. Then he plays phenomenally, gets a huge payday, then does terrible and gets cut or benched, process starts over again the next season.", "Fitz has the best career of any NFL player.", "Counter argument: Matt Flynn. He made over $19mil for his career and took less than 500 snaps (almost 400 coming in one season)", "Ryan Griffin has been on a roster for 5 years. He finally played a couple snaps on Sunday against the Colts. Those were the first snaps of his career" ]

[ "Getting that perfect headshot", "Manual shutter release, single shot. Thats truly impressive work 😲", "That is. I would have to take a video and hope a good frame is on there.", "a video? oh no.. you can't get a frame with that quality out of a video. Maybe in some years from now, but not now..", "I think he just meant like a burst of shots in quick succession.", "Soooo... a video? " ]

[ "How Hong Kong protestors deal with tear gas", "Unfortunately we are probably going to see how the protesters deal with tanks and bullets too." ]

[ "Man wins $390,000 in gender discrimination case because a woman got the promotion he was more qualified for", ">Franzmayr, whose application was rated 0.25 percent higher than Zechner's, sued for gender discrimination They broke the first rule of identity politics: *never make a falsifiable statement*. In this case, they quantified competence. Doing so allowed candidates to compare each others' results whereas they might have wiggled out if they had opted for an additional final interview useful for conjuring up untestable reasons for rejection.", "> rated 0.25 percent higher Am I the only one that thinks this is pretty much a negligible difference? I feel like there are many other qualities that that number doesn't represent and are hard to grasp in a number. If their conclusion was \"this guy is great but we really need a number\" I'd agree with the judge, but if they went \"these two people are almost just as good, but that guy gives me wrong vibes I don't really want him in my team, let's hire the nice lady\" I don't think that is discrimination.", "It was literally said that the woman got the job because there were not enough women there...", "Well, my friend didn't get the job in our national bank because exactly opposite. He was the best candidate, but the department was \"all ladies\", so the boss said \"man would disturb the working environment\".", "That's discrimination.", "He should sue for $390000", "Why are dollars used in your post and not euros?" ]

[ "Shout out to Bitwit for the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen! URL", "The 1660 ti really is a great mid tier card if you’re limited to 1080p gaming like me and can get it for under 250. That kid is pretty lucky he ran into him", "Vega 56 tho", "Eh. Too pricy for anything short of 1080p 160hz or more, bad value proposition for 1080p 144 or lower. Edit: as multiple people have pointed out to me, it seems Vega 56 prices are down a ton from 3 months ago, I retract my statement!", "It rivals the RTX 2060 in performance when its 100 dollars cheaper. Just rip raytracing I guess", "oh no raytracing! imagine all the games you'd miss out on! All 6 of them." ]

[ "Young mother was arrested in Texas over small amount of weed and then raped by a guard while in jail.", "The most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it..." ]

[ "r/news locks thread about orlando night club shooting (20+ killed) when live FBI/Police interview reveals strong possibility of terrorist attack/extremist link, shooter had bomb vest, explosive devices and is not from the area/may be of middle eastern appearance etc.", "So, this is it, social justice? A terrorist murders people at a gay club and you're on the terrorist's side? I guess I knew that was inevitable with progressive stack but it's still sickening and insane to see happen." ]

[ "Sen. Rand Paul on the new senate spending bill: \"If you were against President Obamas deficits, and now youre for the Republican deficits, isnt that the very definition of hypocrisy?\"", "Let's read the book \"Don't buy shit you can't afford!\"" ]

[ "These three ceiling fans run off of one motor", "This was the original design for ceiling fans. At one time, they all worked this way.", "And grampa had to sit in the corner peddlin'", "Want some air movement? That's a peddlin'." ]

[ "On Sept. 10th, 2001 Donald Rumsfeld admitted that the Pentagon couldnt account for $2.3 trillion dollars. Then 9/11 happened and everyone forgot.", "The headline is a little misleading. The linked report alleges that the pentagon has been unable to account for around a quarter of its spending for a period of, at the very least, some years. The headline implies that the loss of $2.3 trillion dollars was an unusual, singular event that was in some way connected to 9/11.", "You don't actually think they spend $20,000.00 on a hammer, $30,000.00 on a toilet seat do you?", "You don't actually think hijacking 4 planes and crashing them into stuff costs 2.3 trillion dollars, do you?", "They probably had to pay to keep a few prostitutes silent about it after spilling to them. We can learn a lot from Frisky Dingo.", "They can't have some blabbity-mouth hooker running around with their secret. That's the *first* thing they teach you.", "Pray tell, what's the second?", "That they simply have a 95 lb problem on their hands. 95 lbs they have to move from point A to point B" ]