Datasets:

---

winduald

/

figlang2020-sarcasm

like 0

[ "What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you?", "My female doctor, now retired, once told me I had great birthing hips. I’m a male." ]

[ "The rich William", "You're the only artist to get the late '80s/early '90s hair right.", "I mean at the point of him being in hell wouldnt it be the late 2010s?", "There is a belief held by some people that when you die, you stop aging.", "Yeah but I mean didn't he die in Fazbear's fright or did he die earlier?", "Pretty sure he died when he first put on the suit and crushed impaled/crush/eviscerated/whatever him.", "When was that then? 1993?" ]

[ "Wanda: I lost everything. Also Wanda:", "Most of the CGI budget was spent on removing Vision’s bulge.", "I demand a director's cut with Vision's bulge left intact. And every other hero's as well. They could call it *Avengers: The Complete Package.*" ]

[ "This is what a Trophy Parade looks like lads", "Every inch of this route has been spectacular, I was on Queen’s Drive early on the route and it was fantastic, everyone filling the road, was a struggle to get the bus through. Flags and smoke everywhere, people having a fucking ball. I reckon we make this an annual thing, anyone else?" ]

[ "Gordon Hayward Breaks His Leg *GRAPHIC*", ">Hayward has broken his leg >Hayward has broken his leg >Hayward has broken his leg Damn you could hear the shock in Kevin Harlans voice.", "It was interesting hearing Harlan talk about the difference in football injuries and basketball injuries with the distance to the crowd/announcers and its so true. Hayward was no more than 10 feet from a bunch of fans.", "You could hear the bone break on the basket mic.", "and the guy in the background saying \"OH SHIT\"", "I honestly thought that was Hayward saying that" ]

[ "Trent Alexander-Arnold appreciation thread", "I wasn't here for the rise of Stevie G. But I imagine this is what it was like", "It was slower than this tbh!", "Yep constant little injuries and stevie was more of a physical player rather than a technical player. He grew into his midfield roles.", "And he had a poor disciplinary record, he was a little bit of a walking booking for a while.", "Remember that red he got within, what was it, 30 seconds of coming on?" ]

[ "For the First time in St. Louis Blues History, the Blues has won a Game in the Stanley Cup Final", "OFFICIALLY OUR BEST SEASON EVER. MAKE IT EVEN BETTER BOYS!" ]

[ "I love Dota, but I just cant stop playing League", "I'm impressed by the number of people you tricked so far. Have an upvote.", "I only got it in the end, lol. Double good joke because 4-1 is actually a stat that happens frequently in league.", "Yeah, the 4-1 score does not give anything away at all actually.", "This... can't be real. 4 - 1 is not an unusual score in LoL?", "in the pro lol scene thats normal, not regular pubs afaik", "I've seen 4 - 1 before the horn even blows in dota." ]

[ "If written like a news report, what stories from the bible were done by Florida man?", "Florida man beats 1000 men to death with donkey bone; gets regrettable haircut", "Claims his mullet is source of his strength", "Girlfriend cuts off his mullet when he is drunk.", "He responds by tearing down building.", "and fighting an alligator, which for some reason is on meth", "When he woke in the morn and he looked up above, He was pleased and surprised to discover his love, But he couldn't explain where she'd chosen to stand, For she stood on their bed with her shears in her hand. In the night, while he'd slept, she had shaven his hair, And he rose with a cry and a wail of despair, For his locks were adrift and his strength was the cost, But the world, it would *pay* for the mullet he lost.", "I swear there should be a college English course that requires you to read a Poem_for your_sprog poems to improve your grammar, context clues and ability to speak aloud or in front of a crowd.", "As someone who spent 10 years in university taking every random fun course. I would ABSOLUTELY take Poem\\_for\\_your\\_sprog 310." ]

[ "U.S. ambassador to Panama resigns because he can no longer work for trump.", "*\"As a junior foreign service officer, I signed an oath to serve faithfully the President and his administration in an apolitical fashion, even when I might not agree with certain policies.* *\"My instructors made clear that if I believed I could not do that, I would be honour-bound to resign. That time has come,\" Mr Feeley said.* Worth noting that he made this decision *before* the shitholes comment.", "This man has served America for decades as a marine and in the state department. He has extensive experience in Latin America. And he saw the writing on the wall", "He's an experienced diplomat with strong knowledge of the local environment in which he serves? Sounds like his head was already on the chopping block." ]

[ "Black security guard who stops shooter is then shot and killed by police", "What the actual fuck...", "I wish I was on r/TheOnion right now" ]

[ "Children agree not to get abducted after 8 PM so Amber Alert doesn’t wake anyone up", "* Children weren’t abducted. * Went missing well before 8 PM. * Were missing for more than 12 hours before the alert was issued. * Grandpa didn’t steal them and was actually considered “a vulnerable adult” despite being labeled “suspect” in the alert. * Found by police, not the general public. But hey, the system worked!", "Why did the York regional police tweet \"As a direct result of the Amber Alert\"" ]

[ "In his mouth?", "That’s a lousy aquarium if a 3 yr old can reach to the top", "Well also the kid is Superman and hates vaccines", "His essential oils give him special abilities the likes of which we've never encountered", "Lets not forget his healing crystals which give him unbreaking VI" ]

[ "How deep is that dock.", "I spend a lot of time on boats. And out on deep water. I'm fine out there. But something about being on shore with deep water just a step away really freaks me out. I do not like this at all. The whale is cool. The bottomless harbor is not. Don't know why and it doesn't make sense but this is horrible", "It actually makes total sense. Humans have evolved to expect smooth transitions. The main conditioning factor in this evolution is the animated transitions between slides on PowerPoint.", "Aw... I thought I was learning something.", "Not to believe reddit comments is a good life lesson.", "[deleted]", "[](/moondancersquint)Gonna need a source on that, buddy. You sound biased." ]

[ "Girl, 8, pulls a 1,500-year-old sword from a lake in Sweden", "Her name is Saga and she found a sword in a lake. She is the chosen one and now must prepare for a lifetime of adventure", "Odds are good she has an animal familiar already.", "Bad news for her parents though. Gotta have a tragic backstory.", "To be fair, they should know its coming when their names are Saga's Mother and Saga's Father.", "Genuinely made me chuckle, good one.", "That's what the Father said when he saw the sword", "[Relevant Order of the Stick](<URL>" ]

[ "Gift art to Dawko for beating 50/20!", "This is my art btw, my twitter is @Hiroshark :)" ]

[ "(Major Spoilers) Do NOT travel to the center. Should be worth spoiling tho..", "Then, honestly, what am I supposed to do in this game? Getting to the center of the galaxy seems to be the only purpose I can find in this game, and now there's really no incentive to play at all anymore." ]

[ "This is true", "I love cars, have 4 guitars, have a beastly PC, and am excited to eventually be old enough to buy a gun and learn to shoot.", "Considering if it's in the US, where the law is 18-21, you have 4 guitars, (implying) you have a car, and a beastly PC before you're 18? 21?", "18 now, turning 19. I have a car, a Kia optima 2013 that I absolutely love the look of, 4 guitars, and a really good PC (1070, i5 6600k, and more...) I'm looking forward to be able to own and practice with guns. I always wanted to shoot a 12 gauge one day. Oh and I also am saving money for my first motorcycle. I wanted to get it this summer, but it probably won't happen. Hopefully I'll have the money by next summer.", "You must really hate money. If you need help getting rid of it faster you are old enough to buy a 12 gauge or any other long gun now." ]

[ "Assassins killed Panama Papers journalist with text message bomb", "[removed]", "So, they didn't kill anyone with a text message. They killed with a bomb. You wouldn't say, \"They killed with a remote detonator.\"" ]

[ "Whats a rule that was implemented somewhere, that massively backfired?", "Headteacher at the school I worked out made it a rule that the primary age kids (5-11) weren’t allowed to run when they were out in the playground. That was fun to try and enforce." ]

[ "Do what you want and don’t bother me", "Your business becomes my business when I have to pay for your business. As long as you are a self sufficient, independent adult, most of what you do is your business.", "As long as what you do is non violent.", "Which is where the argument of abortion breaks down. Because some people consider it murder which doesn't make it their own business anymore. Kind of like where the arguments between Libertarians and Socialists goes nowhere because each side builds off a different understanding of money so neither side ever goes anywhere." ]

[ "This furniture hardware is sorted by step rather than by type.", "That's kinda hot", "My nips can’t take this post", "For some reason I pictured you rubbing your nipples on a fence corner.", "For some reason I pictured him rubbing his nipples on a piece of mail.", "For some reason I pictured him rubbing his nipples on Tim Duncan.", "For some reason I’m beginning to think I am a little messed up in the head and have multiple personalities.", "This, friends, is karma 101. EDIT: okay who's the smartass ^(thank u tho)" ]

[ "#trashtag victim", "Running out of places to clean is the best first world problem I've ever heard of.", "Whatever works I'm for it. Can we get all that garbage floating in the oceans next?", "I just wanna make sure the garbage we clean up doesn’t end up in the oceans.", "Dont worry, China needs that garbage for concrete filler.", "Which means our recyclable plastic is going on trans-oceanic ships, some of which is falling right into the ocean." ]

[ "Bush cracks joke to Obama while Clinton makes a speech", "That is 7th grade assembly behavior at its finest." ]

[ "Christ Pratt delivers a straight up sermon (in his own way) to thousands of cheering teens at the MTV movie awards.", "You could tell a bunch of people got uncomfortable when he said \"They'll tell you you're perfect the way you are, but you're not\" Love Chris Pratt." ]

[ "\"Im a trump supporter. Ill preface this by saying I have a gay uncle and Ive been liberal all my life.\" +873, glided", "> The only problem here is that Milo dates black men. In fact, he talks about it constantly. How he loves black dick. It's kind of in-your-face how much he does it. This is his proof that Milo isn't racist. I'm gonna vomit.", "I wish people could get it into their heads that dating/fucking/being related to POC doesn't absolve you of racism." ]

[ "Grenade!", "How does one stop this sort of thing from happening?", "The VR place near me uses curtains around the play space & has the cable suspended from the ceiling. For my Rift I have a furry rug & play barefoot, if I feel wood flooring with my toes I know I’m near an edge. There’s obviously software solutions like the Guardian system too that gives you virtual walls when you’re close to a real one. Doesn’t stop people running when they panic though.", "Hard to ignore a billion years of evolution." ]

[ "Highlight Cameraman pans away from \"Free Hong Kong\" T-shirt | TNT", "Lol that was hilarious how the cameraman just lost control of the camera", "It’s like when you accidentally make eye contact with someone you don’t want to talk to and you pretend you’re just looking around the room.", "Or when you think someone's waving at you and you wave back but they're not waving at you they're waving at the guy behind you so you pretend you're waving at the person behind them but there's nobody behind them they're the only one there and they know that and you know that and" ]

[ "Why the 5 most successful Oceanic Smite pros just quit", "This makes me ask a question, does Valve or Riot games treat their pro gamers with respect? Or any other big Esport game like Overwatch or COD?", "Bro the minimum salary for the Overwatch Pro league is 50,000", "Brb.", "Like for real though, I'm about to buy a PC and dedicate myself to overwatch. I main Genji so I'm pretty good ", "OW is fun but as a competitive game I would say it lacks so much even compared to other shooters like CS, Halo, R6, etc." ]

[ "A man in India protesting for better roads..", "Best idea ever ! I hope they will work on the roads now.", "Dude, this guy should work making commercial advertising... this is genius", "And given how famous this video is now, he has a good chance", "It’s one small step for this man’s career.", "[deleted]", "...and in forty years, Indians will be posting youtube videos claiming that the whole road fixing thing was faked.", "Look at the shadows, clearly it was done on an Earth studio", "Well on a serious note, what if the clip was actually filmed in Mexico and not India? I mean, at the time of the video was filmed, it could be sun in India proving the clip being fake.", "The autorickshaw colour scheme proves it was India, as does the fact that they're driving on the left side of the road.", "I only see one side of that road" ]

[ "Gawker might have died, but its legacy lives on. The medias hate continues.", "Jesus fuck, that's low even for them.", "Remember when Brianna Wu's dog was dying and GGers searched for local vets to help her? (Of course, she tried to twist that as \"GG doxxed my vet\" but whatever). Remember, though, *we're* the bad guys...", "> remember when Brianna Wu killed her own dog and blamed GG FTFY", "Laci Green killed her dog after raping it." ]

[ "My brother and I have been remaking Toy Story 3 in our free time as a passion project for several years now. Here’s the trailer:", "How long did the trailer take to make and put together?", "Couple months! Titles took a while to produce and the VHS effects were done by hand, frame by frame.", "Have you not considered buying a VHS camera?", "Or even just a cheap used VHS set... run your footage through an RCA input, record it to tape, then mess with the tracking settings a bit and play back and record the output through your PC capture...", "Or even just doing it in post-production using After Effects or a similar software.", "\"We'll fix it in post!!\" ... No. That's why I'm stuck in the office right now on a Saturday evening." ]

[ "Those Hosers in r/denmark are trying to upvote this so that whenever people google Denmark, this photo comes up. It is your turn to do you part and keep this in Canada", "Looks like a meme war is brewing between canada and denmark.", "As a Swede I know I got to do the right thing here and support the just winner of this meme war. God speed Canada, I'll always upvotes you to trigger the Danes!", "See, this is the real strategy we should be employing. Go to the other Scandinavian subreddits and get them to upvote this post instead!" ]

[ "News iOS 11.3.1 Kernel Exploit Released", "Hope y'all saved blobs or upgraded to 11.3.1... 11.3.1 is still being signed too :) Also.. first :p", "Let the games begin!!! So excited!", "What a time to be alive. Near latest firmware is going to be jailbroken. I haven’t seen a fresh wind like this in years.", ">I haven’t seen a fresh wind like this in years. You’re in luck, because I had beans for dinner.", "Did you spill them while watching cars 2?", "M E T A" ]

[ "This guy", "The only thing missing from that rant was \"soyboy\" and \"cuck\".", "His username is blocked out in the pic but it was “CuckingSoyBoy2k18xx”" ]

[ "Modern tomato vs one grown from 150yo seeds", "The best damn tomato I had in my garden this year was an heirloom. I got exactly 4 big tomatoes before the plant yellowed out and stopped producing. It was still worth it. I had no idea how good a tomato could be", "Any tomato from a garden is 10x better than anything store bought. That's because store bought tomatoes are artificially ripened off the vine so they dont bruise in transport.", "I think it’s the same with strawberries. Someone correct me if I’m wrong.", "Try a wild strawberry", "Totally, the flavour just can't compare. You just need like fifty of them for a single mouthful - totally worth the effort though. \"Modern\" strawberries are the size of a man's clenched fist and yet taste of nothing..." ]

[ "The real reason for releasing the new card", "What do you mean? I understand it’s a dick, it’s funny. I’m just sick of seeing nothing but bridge spam in ladder" ]

[ "They let me sit in it", "Wow a redditor who actually got to sit in a car! Oh", "They probably just let him sit in it because he has the same name as that car driving guy", "No, you're thinking of motoring journalist, Fernando Alonso.", "No, you're thinking of space entrepreneur, Lando Calrissian." ]

[ "\"If This Wasnt So Dangerous Id Be Laughing\": Trump Presents Outdated Dorian Forecast Map With Alabama Circled With Sharpie | \"It is a violation of federal law to falsify a National Weather Service forecast and pass it off as official, as President Trump did here.\"", "God this man is an utter moron.", "By comparison, he makes W. look like a Rhodes Scholar.", "Yes, if you read the 50 dumbest things Bush has ever said, Trump surpasses him daily. Bush is an idiot but Mr. 'turbine noise causes cancer' and 'I've never heard of a Category 5 hurricane' is really the *winner* here.", "Turbine noise causes cancer. ...proceeds to talk directly underneath a helicopter for every press \"conference\".", "Well yah, he hasn't exercised during his life so he has plenty of reserve energy to take care of cancer " ]

[ "Tmartn deleted all his videos related to CS:GO betting.", "For the benefit of people from /r/all wondering WTF this is about, Rock Paper Shotgun [has an article](<URL> about it. The skinny: There are a lot of scummy sites associated with CS:GO's cosmetic items marketplace but a pair of Youtubers advertising an item gambling site were recently found to be co-owners of that site and have received added scrutiny.", "He made it all private actually. He's in full damage control right now after being busted lying about lying.", "> lying about lying i giggled", "so did he tell the truth?", "No he lied about telling the truth", "I think that is the definition of lying", "How do I know you're not lying about what lying means", "[deleted]" ]

[ "Mens Fitness asked Bobby what hes going to do if he wins 243. Ive never connected more strongly with a fighter.", "I love everything about this man", "Lol his answer to the same question from Brett Okamato was 'I'm gonna have a mean feed'." ]

[ "Felony Charles Bennett lifts and slams Anthony McDavitt into the cage", "Charles “fuck yo jiu jitsu” Bennett", "The fact that this even happened in an MMA fight is incredible. Whirlwind lateral cage slam. I feel like I can say that will never happen again. Just another reason Felony deserves Goat status." ]

[ "Filed to ESPN: Andrew Luck has informed the Colts he is retiring from the NFL, per source. There will be a press conference Sunday to make it official, but Luck is mentally worn down, and now checking out.", "This may be the most surprising retirement I've ever seen in this sport WHAT THE HELL" ]

[ "Stunning view", "For those that forget - it was Joe Hockey that kicked off this stupidity [<URL>", "You know what else is a blight on the landscape? Everything being on fucking fire and dead." ]

[ "In 2009, Colorado began offering teens free IUDs, without parental consent. Within 8 years, teen pregnancies dropped 54%. Teen abortion rates fell by 64%. For every $1 spent on the program, the state saved $5.85 in labor and delivery costs, child-care assistance and food stamps.", "[deleted]", "Serious question: how can people cry eugenics about this?" ]

[ "Theres a home screen for everyone. #myAndroid", "TIL I am extremely indecisive and have trouble picking out of two options.", "Same and usually I don't know which is more me. It kind of just depends I guess.", "[deleted]", "Yeah that's my process. Just gonna keep trying new combinations until I find a good one, but I'll jot down the ones I get and score them on how I like them and then I'll just do which one I scores the highest", "<URL>" ]

[ "HALO INFINITE - E3 2018 - ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER", "This is the one. EDIT: to win the karma race.", "<URL> If anyone was wondering, confirmed as a direct sequel to Halo 5... so Halo 6.", "Tbh I had hoped that they would keep the numbering up until Halo 7", "I agree. Why stop numbering now? Lol. Weird, but whatever. Still stoked.", "It could be a bridge between Halo 5 and Halo 6 similar to Assassin's Creed 2,Brotherhood, Revelations." ]

[ "Subtle ways to drive the media narrative and they use almost every one.", "America already elected an orange president so I don't see why they wouldn't elect a purple one." ]

[ "This shouldnt be shocking at all", "Current generation of phones are quite a bit ahead of the switch unfortunately", "Yet if you look at Digital Foundry's analysis of the games they share, the Switch has more stable and impressive visuals overall. Plus comparing 300 dollar toy to a 1200 dollar adult-sitting device.", "There's no question that the games are better on the switch, but the mobile chips now are objectively much better, only reason switch pulls ahead is primarily optimisation and a low resolution screen", "Is that surprising at the cost though? You're comparing the switch with phones 3x the price. If you compared it to phones the same price I'm sure there would be a different story.", "There are budget Chinese phones such as the poco phone F1 I believe that are sub 300$ with end of the line hardware. You get 4x the screen resolution and no joycons though, but yeah the switch needs a reset. It was already on the brink of outdated when it came out.", "That F1 is pretty impressive, especially at that price point. But... No warranty? Man, tough call for anyone. URL" ]

[ "Halo CE weapons guide", "Tangentially related - but I really miss HCE's box booklet that had a guide on controls, enemy classes, weapons/vehicles, etc. It was awesome and now we just have little cards with ads on em", "CE's manual had multiple mistakes though." ]

[ "BREAKING- Don Cherry has been fired by Sportsnet - story to come.", "I'm guessing SN gave him the option to apologize and he said no." ]

[ "Megathread: Michael Cohen pleads guilty to lying to Congress about trump real estate project in Russia", "Fox is live at the courthouse. The reporter on scene said someone asked Michael Cohen what he thought was going to happen as he came down the courthouse steps. Cohen's response was apparently, \"what do you think is going to happen?\" Beautiful.", "Fox’s lead story is about a convict serial killer who is a black man. Red meat for their base. Edit: After reading more about the story I admit that this story is, in fact, news. But it’s useful news, for Fox News.", "I just watched a blonde lady on Fox say that although the President says there's nothing wrong with this Moscow trump Tower deal even if they did go through with it, if there's nothing wrong, why are so many people lying about it and covering it up. L. O. L." ]

[ "Canada to announce marijuana will be legal by July 1, 2018", "[deleted]", "I've never actually considered that term to be about hockey but holy fuck, it totally is. Canadian jargon ftw" ]

[ "This reporter deserves an Emmy Award for his performance", "I don't understand why they send people for these things. I don't need to see a wet person to know I'll get wet in a hurricane.", "They were talking about this earlier on MSNBC about why they put their reporters in the middle of the hazards. Their reasoning was wanting to show people clearly how intense and dangerous these events are so that people in the area will take it seriously and heed evacuation orders and take precautions, or pressure any family members who live in the area. I have no idea how effective it is, but there is some sense in that. Obviously faking it like the reporter above just defeats that purpose.", "I dunno, mount a camera on a fixed pole ahead of time. Or just use footage from the multitudinous static cameras already in place." ]

[ "Respawn", "I tried to rework a comic of mine for dota. My arm and shoulder are in a pretty bad shape so it looks like crap (more than usually). Cheers!", "What happened to your arm and shoulder? :(", "I'm 24 but my spine is 40, there are some degenerative changes happening to it so some of my nerves are on fire for no reason." ]

[ "ABC uses 2016 footage from a gun range display to represent the fighting in Syria", "[Not just any gun range. The Kentucky machine gun shoot ](<URL>)" ]

[ "Stipe Miocic and Daniel Cormier set for champion vs. champion superfight at UFC 226", "TJ vs DJ. DC vs Stipe. Tony vs Khabib. Stop making me pick between my favorites dammit.", "All of these on one card would be the all time greatest card ever." ]

[ "Sen. Rand Paul on the new senate spending bill: \"If you were against President Obamas deficits, and now youre for the Republican deficits, isnt that the very definition of hypocrisy?\"", "Yes. The spending bill is garbage", "Reduce military goddamn spending already please." ]

[ "TIL in 2005, a guy named Doug Heckman read the EULA before he installed some PC software. The agreement included a clause offering financial compensation to licensees who actually read the license agreement. He emailed the company, referred to the clause and the company sent him a check for $1,000", "Guessing someone had put that clause as a joke to show that nobody fully read the EULA. And got the 1000$ taken out of his salary when someone claimed that clause. I think it got removed quickly after.", "Taken out of his salary? I doubt it was just one dude playing a prank. No, in this case the amount was left unspecified in the EULA so the company could send a dollar or a million. Company chose the 1k themselves, and happily sent it off for the cheap publicity.", "Not to mention that it's illegal to punish employees that way." ]

[ "A banner at the pro-EU march in London where one million people have turned out to protest", "Imagine being in the middle of the sign... total darkness lol", "I went under it for a bit, was a great atmosphere. here is a video from someone else under it URL", "Surprisingly not very dark. I dig the EU beret though! Edit: spelling", "The French could really learn something from British protesting." ]

[ "You can now get caffeinated Coke at BYU football games", "TIL before today you couldn't get caffeinated Coke at BYU games.", "Now can someone clarify chocolate for me. A friend of mine who graduated from BYU insists that chocolate is prohibited, but a number of other Mormons I have interacted with insist that it isn't. Same with hot beverages.", "I think of it like the Jewish faith. Some sects are rediculously strick while others are lacks." ]

[ "Facebook is thinking about removing anti-vaccination content as backlash intensifies over the spread of misinformation on the social network", "If they cared about the spread of misinformation they would have to get rid of a lot more than just the anti-vaccination idiots.", "Political opinions are a lot more subjective than medical science.", "Yeah, what could go wrong with widespread political propaganda supporting authoritarianism?" ]

[ "Tesla Turns Power Back On At Childrens Hospital In Puerto Rico", "Elon Musk- \"See how easy this is. Get off the grid in three weeks or less with clean energy\" \"It is tried and tested in ravaged Puerto Rico\". This is one of the best humanitarian and business PR moves any company could do. Fantastic. I'd buy one right now if I could afford it.", "I too would buy a Puerto Rico right now if I could afford it", "No, they mean a Tesla company.", "I'd buy one of those too" ]

[ "German exchange Student at IIT Madras is being sent back home by the Indian immigration department because he joined the protest.", "[deleted]", "It's a temp visa, so participation in any sort of political whatever is usually not allowed and is grounds for deportation. The lad probably knew what he was doing.", "I'm a Canadian citizen but of Indian origin. I plan on joining the protests. What are the official rules regarding protests by international citizens? Edit: plan on joining protests as Im visiting India on vacation", "Appearance is the key mate. This guy stood as he is white. If you blend in, u will be an anonymous face, like the rest of the protestors. Good luck.", "Trying to blend in and hiding your identity kind of defeats the purpose right? The whole point is to show that people from various backgrounds are actually coming out and protesting against the atrocities. A dig at the comment \"protester can be identified from their appearance\"" ]

[ "Superstar German DJ ‘permanently banned’ from China for liking a ‘South Park’ tweet", "People should be boycotting China, not sweating being banned.", "People like their cheap goods too much. It’s inconvenient, they’d rather easier boycotts like Chick Fil A." ]

[ "3D girls are not what this guy is looking for on Tinder, apparently", "HE USED GREENTEXT ON TINDER GOOD LORD", "\\>not using greentext on tinder \\>being this much of a normie", "lol I greentext IRL by forming a greentext arrow by pointing my arms off to the side with the tips of my fingers pressed together. >implying I'm not doing this immediately after posting right fucking now", "\\> can't even meme arrow on a website", ">\\>Mfw when she can't even comedy_chevron like some sort of fucking normie" ]

[ "Former Trump aide Rick Gates to plead guilty; agrees to testify against Manafort, sources say", "Oh boy. Here we go. Your move Manafort. This isn’t going to stabilize trumps mood.", "The real question is, is Gates turning on just Manafort or will he also be testifying against Trump and family?", "If he's smart, he will answer every question put forth by the prosecutor fully. Any perjury and the plea deal is ripped up.", "It's a non specific plea deal. Basically, they're saying give us everything you've got and we'll see what we can do. No promises or quid pro quo offered, just a glimmer of hope for Gates that the hammer that is about to drop gets swapped from a 5lbs Sledge to a deadblow." ]

[ "Highlight Drew Brees passes Peyton Manning for #1 overall in passing yards", "Dude's stats are madden-esque. -12 straight seasons with at least 4k passing yards. -5 seasons with over 5k ~~users~~ yards (oops) -67% career completion percentage. -97 QB rating -~~497~~ 499 touchdowns. Just consistent greatness. Imo, one of the most underrated players in nfl history", "Lol did you just have this ready to copy/paste or something?", "Yeah, and it's not even right. He has 498 touchdown passes." ]

[ "Its 2018, and Spotify still doesnt let you edit playlists on Android or the web", "My biggest problem with spotify is that they do not care about their UI. They have removed at least 2 features from their app on Windows that I had been using.", "They're too busy adding shitty implementations of features that nobody actually wants" ]

[ "Whats the equivalent of going to a White House dinner and being served McDonalds?", "Going to see a Broadway musical rendition of Rochelle, Rochelle starring Bette Midler, only to find out that Midler's part will be played by her understudy because she was injured in a softball game earlier in the day." ]

[ "All of your builds are breathtaking!", "Remember: Being PCMR isn't about the hardware on your desk. It's about the software in your heart. Edit: Holy wow! A silver, gold, and a platinum for reminding us what is really important. Thank you.", "What happens if you delete the System32 in your heart", "You get an instant heart attack.", "Is that what Scott did to Tony Stark?", "Too soon. :'(" ]

[ "Blind gay people of Reddit, how did you know you were gay?", "how are they going to read this" ]

[ "New Doctor Who slammed as ‘unrealistic’ after showing working train between Sheffield and Manchester", "The Trans Pennine? Never had a problem with it personally, only late a few times and the train, while rickety, ran perfectly well.", "The only time I got it, British Rail managed to run it head-on into an Intercity 225 near Wakefield. Which was nice. Fortunately, the combined speed was only about 2 mph, I got whiplash and a couple of thousand compensation, which as a student in 1992 was great.", "Just to let you know, if you're interested, there's no such thing as \"combined speed\" in this instance. The speed of impact is just the speed your train was going at." ]

[ "This lady I drove past earlier today: Cranford, New Jersey", "I wonder if signmakers statistically have to deal with more insane people than most retail jobs. Edit: For fun: <URL>", "It's either insane people or INSANE LOW PRICES!", "Nah... if you’re from Jersey, his prices are insaaaaaane!", "I just googled crazy eddy and that was a wild ride. Had no idea that dude got himself into so much trouble.", "How does he compare to ants in the eyes Johnson?" ]

[ "The lack of Net Neutrality could eventually lead to us not being able to go to certain sneaker-realted websites, not being able to watch our favorite content creators, and quite possibly not use this subreddit. Find your representative today. (Repost per mod’s request)", "Imagine having to pay to access yeezysupply at a normal speed 😫", "Yeah, you might take the time to consider your terrible spending decisions." ]

[ "I decided to animate some of my favourite lighting from Scott, so here you go! (SFM)", "Freddy Fazbear: **Special Delivery** Foxy: **Chris McCullough** Springtrap: **theniftytable**", "My favorite voice actor: Special Delivery **" ]

[ "Chaos and bloodshed in Hong Kong district as hundreds of masked men assault protesters, journalists, residents.", "Do they really think it’s not obvious or do they just not care?", "Why would China care? Nobody is going to do anything about it. China will get a slap on the wrist and be told not to do that again, just like Russia with Crimea." ]

[ "I won a game without seeing anything. Massive bug", "Imagine losing to a guy who can’t see", "How dare you disrespect blind ppl", "What", "HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT BLIND PEOPLE", "Actually my cousin is blind so I can", "That's not how it works", "Bro I have 2 black friends and I’m ready to say the N word rn", "I also don't think that's how it works" ]

[ "Joe Rogan: \"I find it extremely bizarre that all these UFC 207 promos only focus on Ronda and very little about the champion Amanda Nunes\"", "Joe going higher up on Ronda's shitlist now.", "[removed]", "If she loses by sub/dec and has to do a post fight interview, imagine if she actually refused to speak to Rogan lmao", "if she loses she won't do the interview whether rogan said this or not, guaranteed", "Dude if she loses she might straight up try to kill herself. I'm not saying that to be a dick, I'm saying that because she was thinking about it after Holm... Having it happen again, who knows. Girl is not mentally stable.", "Less pressure now though, and I bet she thought she was invincible before the holm fight. Now she knows she can be beat, she's not hyped to the moon, and she already has one foot out the door." ]

[ "youtube", "he gets demonetized? thats so dumb. most of his videos are very clean and i cant think of any thatd could be construed as offensive or something. youtube is ruining their own platform", "Dude, my wife makes videos teaching Spanish. She gets demonetized for some reason. Last 3 videos she posted got demonetized for \"content not suitable for most viewers.\" Edit: A lot of people have been asking for the channel link. Here it is: URL" ]

[ "This is what were doing to the ocean", "What can we do to fix this?", "Lobby for regulations", "We can’t just have some countries with high regulations and enforcement. All countries, especially some third world ones, need to take part as well in enforcing this. Without total cooperation of everyone, the ocean will still be polluted.", ">total corporation of everyone Ah, so we let corporations take over everyone and it'll be fixed! " ]

[ "Australian parents who refuse to vaccinate their children will now be given monthly fines", "Continue your unlimited subscription to *MEASLES* for just 28$ a month! Edit: thanks, anonymous Redditor! I never imagined this day would happen" ]

[ "Nicola Sturgeon: \"Theresa May must be the only leader in living memory who has tried to fall on her own sword and managed to miss\"", "What a remark. Absolutely brutal. Lays bare the catastrophic failure that is this Tory government. Not just May, they are a pathetically self serving group and apparently to my surprise they really aren't that bright. I'd have thought they were smart at least in a conniving kind of way but truly this is the most intellectually bankrupt group of Tories ever inflicted on Britain. Lions led by Donkey's.", "Not even that, at least donkeys are at least a little bit useful.", "and adorable! [I mean just look at this lovely little fuzzball](<URL>", "She's not even prancing through the wheat! What a good girl." ]

[ "Its finally here. Introducing Multiplayer Flappy Pharah! (Supports 6 players!)", "I stopped playing overwatch after they removed mercy’s Rez as an ult... what the f*ck is going on" ]

[ "trump sells Qatar $12 Billion of U.S. Weapons days after accusing it of funding Terrorism", "Well, they're going to need those weapons if they're going to stand a chance of fighting Saudi Arabia, whom trump also recently signed a huge arms deal with. trump's only being fair here, guys.", "Gotta supply the proxy wars to keep the cash rolling" ]

[ "Libertarian Life Pro Tip", "ah libertarianism. a great way to piss off your neoconservative family members and progressive friends at the same time", "The party of smoking weed and hating poor people.", "How do Libertarians hate the poor? why do people believe this? as far as im aware they don't believe in being forced to help the poor through taxes and shit(at least at the federal level) and prefer non-government or state/local government help for the poor.", "Oh, well, when you put it like that I cannot imagine why there’s confusion ", "But how is that hating the poor? that's just believing federal government isn't the way to help them." ]

[ "first post", "How about this. This rumor is bullshit and never gonna happen 🙂", "A closed platform that makes money via getting a split of software sales wont support other store fronts on their system? Weird.", "Well, Microsoft at this point isn't really playing the exclusive card a lot, with their Xbox exclusive games coming to PC and some even to Switch. They really want to leverage their services and sell them to as many people as possible. Still seems unlikely, though.", "Yeah, I honestly could see this happening, though it's probably a long shot. Microsoft seems to be transitioning to producing mainly \"as a service\" products. Game pass for PC is legit $1, they want to get as many people on board as they can.", "Microsoft should make a gaming optimised version of Windows with an xbox like HUD for people with HTPCs because Kodi sucks.", "They could call it Xbox Media Centre." ]

[ "Aaron Feis, an assistant football coach at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, died a hero yesterday as he saved countless students by shielding them from the shooter.", "A coach and an alum of the school. Maybe they can dedicate their fieldtadium to his memory. ♥️ Edit: Thank you kindly for the upvotes. My father was the first principal at Stoneman Douglas (he literally and figuratively built the school from the ground up) and knows the current principal. I am going to ask my dad to pass along the idea of naming the field(s). The athletic director was killed, too, and the baseball team won a state title under his tenure. (I believe his name was Hixon.) He was an Iraq War veteran. So that might be another field worth naming. As an aside, my dad is absolutely distraught by what happened. It’s been a long time since he left the school, but he had a very special connection having been the first principal. It’s been hard on our entire family because we were there to experience that time with him, too. Lots of love to the whole Douglas family. We are grieving with you, too.", "Maybe they can do something about gun violence in his memory." ]

[ "If you want to add an extra $71 billion to the economy, start taxing churches", "71 billion for education where the curriculum has extra emphasis on the age of the earth, evolution, and all the different religions that have existed throughout history.", "What gets me is the idea of using some of that money to teach LGBT issues in health class and reassure kids that it's okay to be gay." ]

[ "Why its called a \"Patch\"", "I love how language slowly evolves to come up with new vernacular like this. \"Patch\" and \"bug\" seem to have such humble roots! Edit: Wonder where \"taking the piss\" came from....", "I heard we say \"turn on the lights\" because old light switches looked like valves but I couldn't verify it", "I wonder if kids today still say \"roll the window up/down\" and if they know what the manual process was before switches. I know a lot of places still have manual windows, but I don't think any new cars in the uS still have them. Edit: I was wrong. Many new cars still come with manual windows. I think everyone has replied with all possible models already.", "I promise you this is the case. I'm 20 but still remember using manual windows when I was really young. I bet there's a ton of 16 year olds getting their licenses right now who have never used a manual window but still say \"roll down the window\"", "I used one and still have some in my parents cars source: 16 year old", "No you're lying. You kids nowadays have never experienced anything that isn't super modern and are so spoiled. You have no idea what it used to be like and take everything for granted " ]

[ "Blizzard pulls Blitzchung from Hearthstone tournament over support for Hong Kong protests", "Tried to delete my account. Blizzard sends a code. I enter it. Once. TOO MANY ATTEMPTS! ENTER A PHOTO ID TO PROCEED! Seriously? The company that just bent over for China wants me to send them my ID? Uhhh...", "Start talking shit about china and tag blizzard. They'll ban you m", "I used to play all of Blizzard's games but then they got lovey with China. I hate what China is doi" ]

[ "Alternative Ending...", "At least we're still flying half a ship", "[deleted]", "As all things should be. r/unexpectedthanos r/thanosdidnothingwrong", "You can’t link r/unexpectedthanos in your own comment! That’s not how the Force works!", "The force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… unnatural.", "Your knowledge is very impressive. You must be very proud.", "You're not the only one cursed with knowledge.", "But have you heard the tragedy of earth plaegus the wise it's certainly not a story the Jedi will tell you", "You told me that too. Every day. For almost 20 years." ]

[ "trump appointed Sen. Jeff Sessions as Attorney General. We CANNOT allow him to be confirmed. He voted FOR a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. He OPPOSED the Matthew Shepard act. He OPPOSED the DADT repeal. Here are links to call your Senators and urge them to vote NO on Sessions. Do it!", "As a Dutchman, I only have one thing to ask... USA, what the smeg do you think you're doing!?" ]

[ "25 million tonnes of US soybeans will go unsold this year as a direct consequence of the trade war with China", ">What’s puzzling, he said, is that so many farmers voted for Trump despite his campaign promises to ditch trade deals with China and others, including the North American Free Trade Agreement, and renegotiate them with a tougher approach. >**“My gut feeling is that farmers didn’t understand what a great thing they had in all these international deals to begin with,” Naeve said. Agricultural interests were at the table when the agreements were set up, he said, and for the most part were a beneficiary. “There really weren’t better deals to be had, so the only outcome is going to be something worse,” he said.** [Source](<URL>", ">so the only outcome is going to be something worse,” he said. Right he was. [\"Farm bankruptcies are surging as Trump's trade war drags on\"](<URL>", "Trump and his cronies are gonna buy farm land for cheap.", "[deleted]", "Cripple the farmers to own the land!" ]

[ "Very useful jump on Upward, if you are the 6th sniper on your team.", "it's also a great hiding spot for spies", "Especially the 6th one.", "Works great for numbers one to five, too." ]

[ "What I hear when breeders complain about this sub being \"hostile\".", "I don't get why they come here if they're upset by it. Everywhere and everyone else worships kids, parents, mothers, pregnancy and childbirth. Let us have our cynicism.", "Right? Literally our entire society glorifies parenthood. But oh no, one little corner of the internet exists that doesn't and it's like blasphemy." ]

[ "3D girls are not what this guy is looking for on Tinder, apparently", "This is obvious trolling, come on guys.", "It’s not even trolling, it’s just very obvious joking/banter Flew over the head of whoever took this screenshot and the people on this thread", "Yeah, really. Pretty hard to believe the amount of people who haven’t heard that 3D meme thingy." ]

[ "‘Kill the gays’ pastor suggests climate activist Greta Thunberg is demonically possessed and ‘needs Jesus’...because she wants a clean environment. Jesus luvs some pollution Greta!", "The love, tolerance and acceptance of religion shines bright once again!", "I sure do love me some jesus a the good work God put into this place is sure great!", "Netflix's gay Jesus comedy movie is sure doing wonders for the religious community." ]

[ "73% of Canadians don’t want to cover costs for Prince Harry, Meghan Markle: poll", "I dont mind them coming, but are they not self sufficient?", "They live with parents" ]

[ "In South Korea, the solar panels in the middle of the highway has bicycle path passes beneath. --- Cyclists are protected from the sun, they are isolated from traffic and the country can produce clean energy.", "Sensible solar panel placement,as opposed to the folks who want to put them directly on the roads.", "My exact same thought. Recently I read an article about this solar road that was built and is now scheduled for demolition because obviously it didn't work, don't remember all the reasons but one was that the road kept getting covered in leaves during autumn." ]