index
int64
0
2.49k
season no.
int64
1
3
episode no.
int64
1
10
episode name
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22
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1.11k
227
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
You're beyond our reasoning!
228
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Takes one to know one.
229
1
1
Pilot
Beth
Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
230
1
1
Pilot
Rick
What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
231
1
1
Pilot
Beth
We're moving you to a nursing home.
232
1
1
Pilot
Rick
A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun.
233
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas.
234
1
1
Pilot
Beth
What does that mean?
235
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
It's personal.
236
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all.
237
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
238
1
1
Pilot
Rick
What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?
239
1
1
Pilot
Beth
Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
240
1
1
Pilot
Rick
I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
241
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?
242
1
1
Pilot
Morty
I do?
243
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Well, duh doy, son. Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.
244
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
245
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
246
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't.
247
1
1
Pilot
Rick
The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!
248
1
1
Pilot
Morty
1.77245385... Whoa!
249
1
1
Pilot
Beth
What the hell?
250
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Holy crap. He's right.
251
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics.
252
1
1
Pilot
Morty
"The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system." Wow! I'm so smart!
253
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
But—
254
1
1
Pilot
Rick
I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
255
1
1
Pilot
Beth
Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.
256
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school.
257
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication.
258
1
1
Pilot
Summer
Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
259
1
1
Pilot
Rick
No idea what you're talking about.
260
1
1
Pilot
Jerry
Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.
261
1
1
Pilot
Beth
You know what? Okay.
262
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
263
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
264
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Aw, man.
265
1
1
Pilot
Rick
Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.
267
1
1
Pilot
Morty
Ohh, man. Oh, geez! Ohh.
268
1
1
Pilot
Rick
I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures. And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Morty but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com.
270
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
What? Why are you looking at me? You want to go outside? Outside?
271
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Outside?
272
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Are you kidding me?! Come on!
273
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Summer
Oh, my God.
274
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
What's wrong?
275
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Your idiot dog!
276
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, snuffles? You're a good boy.
277
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad!
278
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.
279
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
280
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, Morty.
281
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or Morty's grounded!
282
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Summer
Ha-ha!
283
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Aw, man!
284
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry.
285
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
All right, Ruffles What's his name?
286
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Snuffles.
287
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Snuffles, shake.
288
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Roll over.
289
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Go to the bathroom.
290
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Holy crap!
291
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Summer
No way.
292
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty.
293
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
That was fantastic, Rick!
294
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one.
295
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
W-w-w-what is it?
296
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
It's a device, Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Morty. It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about.
297
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
You talking about "Inception"?
298
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
That's right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may--be make sense.
299
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
"Inception" made sense.
300
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
You don't have to try to impress me, Morty. Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you A's in math, Morty. That way you can, you know, y-you're gonna help me with my science, Morty, all the time.
301
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Geez, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing, couldn't you have just, you know, helped me with my homework?
302
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Are you listening to me, Morty? Homework is stupid. The whole point is to get less of it.
303
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Come on, let's just get over there and deal with this thing. W-we're gonna incept your teacher. You're frustrating me.
304
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
You don't know me!
305
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
' Nice, Mrs. Pancakes real nice.
307
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
You don't know me!
309
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Uh-oh! Spoilers!
310
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
I'm a full season behind.
311
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house. It's really weird.
312
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
It's about to get a whole lot weirder, Morty.
313
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
Wheat thins. Wheat thins.
314
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
I'll take two.
315
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
Oh, I think you've had enough, sir.
317
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
All right, Morty, time to make our move.
318
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
Make it bounce.
319
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
No, you didn't.
320
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
Oh, jiggle it now.
321
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mrs. Pancakes
You better stop with that.
322
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Allahu akbar! We're gonna take control of this plane! We're gonna 9/11 it unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!
323
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!
324
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
The name's not buddy. It's Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you!
325
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Take cover, Morty!
326
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Mr. Goldenfold
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
327
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
Ooohhh!
328
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated. I mean, the guy teaches high-school math. I didn't take him for an active dreamer. We've got to take him out so he wakes up, Morty but we can't get killed. If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real, Morty.
329
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Morty
What?! Are you kidding me?! Ohhhhhh!
330
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Rick
Don't be a baby! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time, Morty. Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine!
331
1
2
Lawnmower Dog
Jerry
Now bring me my slippers.