prompt
stringlengths 122
2.36k
|
|---|
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [34M] of 2.5 years wants to take a break from relationship with me [25F].
POST: Over the past two weeks my boyfriend has been needing more "me time" -- time where we don't hang out/talk on the phone/really have contact. We usually see each other 5 days/nights a week but this is now down to 1-2 times a week. He has also been traveling more for work. When he isn't traveling, he's living pretty much the same way, just without me around. Working, going to the gym, hanging around (not the going out type), etc.
I should also mention he is in a bad place with his job at a startup and is looking for a new gig. We had a talk this weekend, and he said he needs to focus on his career. He wants to take a break from our (pretty serious, almost living together) relationship in order to do so. However, I have been supportive, sending him jobs, introducing him to some of my contacts, etc., and generally feel like I've been an asset in his past job search and this one as well.
The need for "me time"/space happened right when I got a big promotion (about 30% raise included) at work. He claims it is not related, but I can't help feeling like it is. We now make almost the same salary even though I'm 9 years younger.
What I am wondering is if I should agree to taking this break/space/time apart. We were on track to get engaged soon (have been talking about it a lot, agreed on a pseudo-timeline, etc.) and this seems so out of the blue. I have been very happy in our relationship and I think he has too, but do not want to wait around if he's on the way out and just delaying a real breakup with this 'break' bullshit. Is he threatened, or just really needing space? Is he just a commitment phobe that needs an out?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] doesn't know how to talk to[21 F] online friend about her bothering me.
POST: So there's this girl I met playing Overwatch, and I thought she was chill and pretty fun to talk to, not negative, you know, just...normal. So we start talking more outside game, exchange numbers, text, use rabbit, and, well...
She's so fucking *needy*. Texts me in the morning, but can't hold a conversation. Like, I have to do all the work. We play Overwatch but we lose because neither of us are very good, so she wants to stop and then when I don't want to stop, she acts offended. Anytime I'm online, she wants to talk to me and shit.
Thing is, she has a boyfriend that she lives with. It feels like she's using me for whatever attention she isn't getting from him, but I'm not about that shit. I like my personal time, and I don't know how to broach the subject without coming off as a dick. Like, how do you say "You're cool, but stop talking to me so fucking much."
Anyways, at this point I've sort of just ghosted. She weirded me out after she texted me at like 10 at night asking if I wanted to watch something. I pretended to just be asleep (I was playing a game offline, she had no way of knowing I was at my comp) and she texted me again a half hour later going "I guess not?" After that, I just haven't responded to any texts. I feel like an asshole, but I don't know a way to sort this out, especially since I don't even know her that well.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Im [27/f] not sure if I should forgive my friend [37/m]
POST: When I was in college I met my gay bestie. It was his second round of school so he was ten years older than me, but we honestly got along so well. Eventually we moved in together and it was great! No complaints and we only stopped living together when he got a job out of state.
Sometimes when we lived together we would throw wine parties and I remember he once asked me if him and his friends could have a couple of my adderall. I was taking them for ADHD while in school. I said sure and gave them to him.
Another party my whole bottle went missing, but he claimed it must have been someone at the party. It ended up costing me around $400 to replace.
About five years has gone by and throughout that time he'd become the friend who was always fixing someone. He likes being the hero. But it comes at the expense of his true friends who are there for him and often times he would choose deadbeats over true friends. One example is missing half my wedding to attend the funeral of a mom of a distant old high school friend. I wasn't mad but I noticed his choice.
Anyways. My last straw recently was finding out that he was bragging to friends in a bar about how he would steal my adderall when we lived together and snort it with friends. Than they would put sugar back in the capsules so I wouldn't be any wiser. Also they laughed about how he could tell when I took one of the sugar pills. Who knows what else he did while we lived together. I really trusted him.
i confronted him and to,d him to leave me alone and not talk to him for a while and have not heard a peep. I dont miss him much to be honest, I've gotten used to him not showing up in life lately. I heard from a friend he's ashamed but I don't care really. Am I immature for ending one of my greatest friendships over something that happened so long ago?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need advice on how to have my video not be doubted as fake if i make it..
POST: Ill give you guys a little back story. I work in a bullet proofing company here in mexico. We were the first bullet proofing company in the Country (My dad´s the founder). Anyways we have a car we bullet proofed about 8 years ago just sitting around we took in on a trade for a job and well i doubt anyone will buy it.
I want to make a video of me basically going into it, driving it, and having someone shoot a entire clip from a AK-47 while im driving to show people that I trust my work with my life. (Doubt many bullet proofing companies would actually do this..).
So question is how would I go about making this video and not have people say "fake" or what not.. I was thinking of having two to three cameras. One inside the car looking at me to capture my reactions, another one with the guy shooting the AK and another one i guess on a closeup of the car..
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My significant other got a job in another city and I'm planning to leave my job to go and be with him, but I have some concerns...
POST: I (20's F) currently work as an engineer for a large well known company. I've been at my job for 7 months now and I'm generally happy here. The job is OK and they pay me well but I am far from 'loving' it. My boyfriend of 5 years (20's M) whom I live with is also an engineer and has been looking for a job for the past 3 months. I tried to get him in with my company but despite being a large corporation, the location I work at is rather small and there simply have been no openings.
We talked a lot about it and decided it was okay for him to start applying to other cities within the same state. He got an offer in another city 3 hours away from where we currently live for 10% more than my salary. With my advice/approval, he accepted the offer. His start date isn't for another three months so I have some time to figure things out.
I love him 1000X more than my job and we do not want to be apart. I want to stress that we talked about this all along the way and I've always told him that if he can't find a job here, than I would move with him because I have a better chance at finding another job after being with my current company that is very well known and attractive on résumés.
We've vacationed in the city he will be working in and it's beautiful. I would be happy to live there. I do feel that I could get another job over there but I have some concerns:
--I might hate new job and then wind up resenting him for it
--Ive only been at current job for less than a year. Potential red flag to employers?
--How I will explain why I left my last job. I fear that saying I moved to be with my boyfriend makes me sound not serious about my career
If anyone has any experice with this- particularly women who've moved because of their significant others job- how did you deal with it, how did you explain it in interviews so it doesn't sound negative, etc...
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I just want to support my girlfriend.
POST: let me just say that I love what you guys are doing and more power to you.
I come to you asking for some wisdom. My gf, who I have no problem with what so ever and love just the way she is, seems to be down on her self alot lately because of her weight. I personally haven't noticed... sure her boobs are a little bigger and her butt got juicier.. but that's not really something that i frown upon. Well last night we were talking kind of heart to heart and she told me she had gained 20 lbs in the last 6 months...
Like I stated earlier, I did not notice at all. But I dont like seeing her down. I told her I would help her out with a diet plan (she just got a gym membership). So here I am asking you all for some help. I am personally a fit person, but it just comes naturally. I dont work out and i eat almost everything i want whenever i want and i keep a lean 175. Obviously I am the last person who should be giving diet tips. Can you all please leave some comments and let me know some of your tips/tricks? Or even a general plan to stick to...
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[22M] gf[19] is cheating on me with a coworker. Need advice.
POST: Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't update, but I just need to talk somewhere.
I told her I knew, she point blank refused and lied to my face. I didn't tell her I read her texts, because for some reason, I felt ashamed about having done that. But the lies were just too much. I felt I really needed to do something.
Here I've got to give a bit of background story about myself. I'm an Android developer(budding) and I had experimented with a lot of tiny projects some time back some of which I had messed around with on her phone, one of them a keylogger. I gave in to the temptation and and started logging keystrokes.
I got a whole lot more than I bargained for. She was laughing about the situation with another workmate, saying she did "damage control, easy peasy." I really thought I had hit rock bottom before but, this was way worse. On the bright side I can now see her for what she truly is.
She was also low key messing around with a whole bunch of other guys, more fool me. I really think she might have a serious problem. I could count about 10 guys in about a 45min period, all of whom she was just stringing along. At this point I'd seen enough. Called, didn't explain anything, just said we're done. Kinda sucked cause I really felt like blowing up in her face, but at the same time, it just didn't feel worth all the energy.
I'm free(sorta, betrayal and pain don't go away that easy), but I guess I have a question. From what I could tell none of these guys knew she was involved with anyone. She made plans to go for a movie with one on Wednesday. So the question now is do I tell the guy she was cheating on me with? If he didn't know about me then he'd be given a warning about the type of person she is, and if he did, the satisfaction of breaking it to him would be real.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27m] love her [23f] but I feel like I'm being pushed too fast.
POST: Hey everyone. I met a girl about a year ago who means the world to me. We have a wonderful relationship. For the first time in my life, I feel that I am with someone I could marry.
Due to a career move I made in August we are currently long distance, but we manage to see each other about once a month. Shortly after moving, we made the mutual decision that she would join me around March. My apartment has plenty of space and I'm SO ready to live with her and be with her again. I've always seen cohabitation as an important step between dating and marriage.
The problem? Despite the fact that they met, conceived, and married within a 6 month period when they were very young, her parents are very traditional in their attitude towards how she should be married. They have indicated in no uncertain terms that if she were to move in with me prior to marriage, it would be a damaging blow to their relationship. To sweeten the pot and pull her into the deal, they added that they will pay for the wedding if we do it the proper way in their eyes. Her father sees to see this as not only the least sinful option, but the most legally protective option for her.
I don't want to be apart from her anymore and I don't want to damage our relationship with her parents. I DO want to spend my life with her. As a child of divorce whose parents married under rash circumstances not unlike hers, however, I am uncomfortable with the idea of meeting and marrying someone in such a short time without cohabitation. This is one of the most important decisions either of us will ever make. I feel that I am pushed up against a wall now and must choose to either marry her sooner than I am truly comfortable with or lose her.
Please advise me!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Wife and kids won't clean; I end up doing it all.
POST: My wife of 5.5 years and I have a 15yo (step-daughter), 4yo son, and 3yo daughter. I work long hours on weekdays: in by 7:30AM, home by 9:00PM or later. I come home, and there is crap everywhere. It builds and builds until the weekend comes.
I can't relax in a messy house. Dishes (sometimes still with food) in sink, trash all over counters, toys everywhere, etc. I end up cleaning on the weekends because I can't stand it. I make the kids clean their crap (whining about how much it is), ask my wife to help (as she's playing Candy-effing-Crush or Face-effing-book) clean.
Why can't they just clean up their own crap? I spend time cleaning up a house that had literally NO messes made by me. I tried the don't-do-anything-until-they-do-it-themselves trick. That backfired miserably. I had TWO weeks of crap to do.
Case in point: my wife stayed home today with the 15yo who is recovering from a tonsillectomy. I brought the 3yo and 4yo to a sitter. I had hoped she would've cleaned the house, done laundry, done frickin' SOMEthing. NOPE. It eas even MORE messy than when I left this morning.
What the hell can I do?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 6 months, we are both so much in love; but I feel like I were his Mom, should I continue?
POST: I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months, we both love each other so much. He is loyal, sweet, sincere, compassionate and always try to give me the best that he can. There are only two things between us that makes me confused are:
1. He is careless and indecisive — which makes me feel like I am his Mom, not his girlfriend. I tell him about this every time, he understood and told me that he will improve, but it still happens (because that's his characteristics and I know it's hard to change); my life sometimes gets crazy because of his careless. I love him but I don't want my future kids to have a careless future Dad, I want the best for my future kids.
2. He is currently broke. We are from two different backgrounds. He is from a poor family and even though he got a job with salary but not much. He even doesnot have enough money for his own meals. We already had two trips together, and I were the one who paid 90% for the expense. He knew that I don't have much money too and he promised to treat me better when he has more money. I understand that he is in his hard time and I am waiting for a more succesful future of him in future. But does it worth? Am I stupid when I did that?
I really need your insights and advice on this. Should I continue holding on this kind of relationship? We are still young (23+), what if we stop for a while and continue when it comes to a right time? Still, somehow, I don't want to lose him because I know we love each other with all our hearts and his love is the love that I ever dream to have.
Thank you in advance!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/M] So there's this girl..
POST: And the moment I saw her, I wanted to ask her out.. but, I decided to wait because I figured I'd make a fool out of myself if I were to just say, Hi, wanna go out? So I didn't. I decided to wait until the next time I saw her around campus.
Anyway, I had seen her around a time or two and was all, "She's pretty. I wonder if she's seeing anyone" but quickly dismissed it because I figured she probably was but today, I was standing out there having a smoke listening to music before I had to head up to class, and next thing I knew, she walked up to me, kindly nudged me on the arm and asked me if I had a lighter. Being the gentleman I am, I lit her smoke and smiled as she sat down behind me. And since that happened today, I've been thinking about going up to her in a casual way and saying, "Hi. Are you free this weekend? Would you like to have some coffee?" or something of the sort.
Am I just acting crazy or is this the right way to go about this? She's by far the only one I have seen that has peaked my interest. Any advice would be much appreciated
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(F/23) having feelings for SO(23/M)s best friend. Do I tell him?
POST: I am in a relationship with the greatest person I've ever met. We've been in a relationship for three years, and a couple a months ago we got engaged. I am completely in love with him and very happy. My SO has a best friend whom I like a lot, he's a very good guy, but lately it appeared to me that I actually find him attractive. The thing is I've thought other people were attractive before and me and my SO talk about crushes and how those things happen, but how important it is to never act upon those crushes since we want to be with each other.
The problem is that my SOs friend really reminds of my boyfriend, they have the same principles, sense of humor, we have a lot in common and we share the same political opinions etc. , basically my best friends SO reminds me of my boyfriend. Which I can't decide whether is a good thing or not or if my SO will think of this as a good thing or not? I have no intention of pursuing these feelings, I just don't know whether or not to tell my So.
On one hand, if I don't I'm scared this will build up and become an actually thing, e.g me wanting to leave my boyfriend for him.
On the other hand, will I only fuck up their friendship? Since I have no intention of acting upon it, shouldn't I just keep it to myself? My SO and I have never kept anything a secret from each other and I am really uncomfortable with keeping anything away from him.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[17M] best friend [17M] is in pain/hiding something sad.
POST: I have known my best friend Chu since birth, and he is one year older than I am. Our parents call us cousins, but for all I know, only I currently know we're related because our mothers were from a similar clan. We always talk and play together until recently because of work and school, but, we enjoy any time we can!
A week ago, my "cousin" Po came to visit me. Po is actually cousins with Chu, so I took the opportunity to learn how Chu is doing since he gets more time to talk with him nowadays. Po told me that Chu is usually talking to him about how he is worried and sad. I'm quite concerned because Chu hasn't brought up anything about this, and I recently noticed that we haven't talked about anything involving our lives lately. Mainly, we talk about stuff we hear in the entertainment and art industry, but at the same time he isn't as lively as he used to be. I worry that he has something sad to hide for me and also others, as he won't tell anyone but Po (Po is very open, so I could see why).
As much as I don't want to invade his personal life, I still feel a drive to do something. Po told he shouldn't have mentioned this in the first place. Chu is kind plus he can understand my poor speech (I sometimes mix up words or forget our discussion quickly) and I feel as if he's doing more for me than I have for him. We have always been able to rely on each other when needed, so I feel compelled to help.
Thing is, I don't know how. If I questioned him during our talk and play sessions, I may make him feel pressured. We are both shy, so he would probably not answer and I would already have troubles asking. I would really appreciate suggestions on how to tackle this. We're going to meet up next week to catch-up after school work if that helps.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [21F] Recently found out my ex [21M] lied to me about another girl while we were still dating, now I'm not sure how to react
POST: My Ex and I broke up nearly a year ago. We'd been fighting a lot and one day after a bad fight I got a text saying he didn't think we should date anymore because he was sick of fighting and didn't trust me anymore, but he still wanted to be friends. I was angry but I hadn't wanted to break up at all and I missed him. He kept trying to talk to me and after a couple weeks we settled into a kind of awkward friendship. He went out on a couple dates with a girl he met a few days after we broke up and it hurt me a lot to hear about her, but things didn't work out between them and the friendship between my ex and I got less awkward/painful with time.
Then, a couple days ago he mentions that girl and tells me she texted him out of nowhere after not speaking at all for a few months. He starts talking about when he first met her. And I realize he actually met her at least a week or two before he broke up with me. I've been upset ever since. I'm paranoid that there are other lies I don't know about. He doesn't know that I know. We've talked since and he noticed that I was being quieter than usual but I didn't explain why. I'm so angry and hurt. We're not dating anymore and it happened a year ago, but I'm still mad.
I don't know what I should do. I don't know if its worth bringing up something from so long ago, but he and I are good friends and I feel uncomfortable talking to him now. Should I say something? Should I stop being friends with him?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [29m] not sure we made the right choice [30f]
POST: We've been dating almost 3 years, starting to talk about living together and getting married in the near future.
My girlfriend and I were considering a move to a new city. It was a choice between two job offers for her, one where we live and one in the new city. I would keep my job in either place.
We spent last week in the new city, exploring. I worked while she checked out various neighborhoods during the day, and we explored together in the evenings. It was a stressful process for both of us, since it was a big decision and we had to know by the end of the week.
I was pretty quiet in the evenings. My local office was kind of depressing, and I was thinking a lot about the decision. On Friday my girlfriend told me the job in our current city called to make her a better offer and she took it, because I seemed so upset about the possibility of us moving.
I was relieved, but also upset that she made the decision without my input. I waited until the next day to discuss it, and told her I was unhappy that she made the decision alone. She said she told the hiring manager her acceptance was based on talking with me, but she hadn't told me that.
She told me if I wanted to move that we could still make that decision. I seriously considered it, but I was leaning towards staying anyway.
Now we're home and committed to staying, but she seems really sad that she passed on the other job. She said she cried when she turned it down. I feel really guilty about us staying; I could have made the move work even though my preference was to stay. I wish she would have asked me before accepting the job.
How do I process through these feelings?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by buying a boarding pass just to found out my passport has expired
POST: So here's the story: On August 1, I have bought a boarding pass to fly to Turkey and I'm reassuring everyone all day long that I will be there on 5th (that's today), cool everything okay I'm excited. In the evening I'm relaxed and watching the Hunger Games on television fine until my mom came and started asking those typically mom's questions *''I'm worried, you know what happened in Turkey, is it safe to go there?, when will you pack?* etc.) and then she says ''Don't forget your passport and have you checked the expiration date?'' I'm completely stunned because I know that it has probably expirated. I find my passport, look into it and yes, it has expired on 15th February 2015 - fuck fuck fuck I live in the Czech Republic, which is part of the Schengen area we don't use fucking passport anymore or I thought so.
Here it takes up to 30 days to create a new one so the next day I rushed to the government's office to get a new one and I was told that average period of making is 8-14 days. The funny thing is that you cannot get the money back so I had to change the date (which costs $50) to August 13.
So hope I will get the passport before that, fingers crossed.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [help] my father is going to give away my dog for his awful beheavior
POST: So I've owned a Mini Poodle called Homer for 6 years. I bought him from a pet shop (sorry pet shop haters). He didn't beheave well but at least he didn't pee inside the house (I live with my parents in a pretty big house) so my parents weren't that mad with it.
But a year and a half ago, I moved homes to another house and since then things went from bad to worse.
He started peeing inside the house, started barking at literally everything that moved outside (he absolutely hates wheels). And bark while we eat. One day, we opened the door to receive some guests and Homer ran through the door to chase some truck that was on the road. When he approached the truck, he got under the wheel which made him break his hip. He was in pain for about a month and after 6 months he was the same Homer as before. He started peeing inside and barking all the time.
My father got fed up with him and told me that he was going to give it away to another family unless he beheaves well. He gave me a 6 weeks to train it so he stops barking. /r/Dogs , I need your help. What can I do to make my dog stop barking and peeing inside the house?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20 M] gf [21 F] of 4 year, just told me she kiss a classmate
POST: so my gf of 4 year just recently confess to me about kissing a classmate of her last month. we're both in college, but in different state. so we can only see each other every once a while.i thought our relationship was good and i had always been able to trust her. but last night she told me that she had been doing things behind my back. this is what she say happen. she was over his house for a school project, and he lean in and kiss her. she say in that moment she kiss back until she finally realize and stop it then left. she apologize and want to know if i can forgive her for this. i really don't know what to do. should i forgive her? i feel like if i do,she is just going to cheat on me again. i love her so much and i don't want to lose her. please help.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: College Admission regrets
POST: So I want to start this off by saying the college admission process sucks so much, having to write essays and then having people tell you they suck. The worst part though is when you have to decide where you are going to apply to school though. That is where my story starts.
I am smart, and I mean really smart (also a very good test taker which helps a huge amount in the college process) so I had the choice to apply to any school that I wanted (Again you are probably thinking "fuck that guy, what does he have to complain about!?!") Well I went to visit the top engineering school in the country, and two Ivys (I really liked all of them). I spoke to a bunch of people, deans and members of the board of trustees, at each college. The people at the engineering school and one of the Ivys told me that I would probably (not 100% but close) get in if I applied early while the third school said that I was in barring some crazy mishap, but I had to apply ED.
In the end I decided that I would apply ED to the third school. Fast forward to an hour ago and I get a call. A dean at the engineering school called to say he was sorry that I hadn't applied and that if I wanted he would call up a friend at the school I did apply to (guaranteeing my admission). I was supper happy, no longer was I going to freak out waiting for that December 15th deadline worrying about that tiny chance I didn't get in.
Then the dean said "well I know that you will like *school 3*, but I wanted to let you know that you would have been accepted here." He said goodbye and hung up. I was stunned, I mean why the fuck would he say that? Basically he had called me to say "Oh hope you have a good life, by the way fuck you you would have gotten in here. Sucks to suck."
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22 F] I don't know how to deal with my boyfriend [24 M] of one year who is somewhat spoiled.
POST: This is my first time posting. My boyfriend still lives with his parents, and
while I don't have a problem with that, it doesn't help him grow
responsible when his dad keeps spoiling him. My boyfriend and I have
been there for each other when it has come to personal and family
issues, but I find it difficult to communicate with him on this issue. We
have talked about jobs. I discussed that if we are to start a life
together, we should at least get a job anywhere (fast food, retail, etc). I
am currently working, but he insists on not getting a job in these areas.
He wants a job in his field, which to me is a little absurd to attempt right
now. I don't want to kill his dreams, but he isn't financially stable. Also,
while it isn't impossible to find a job in one's area of study, it is bad that
my boyfriend is assuming he might get a job right away. We once
discussed this and he wasn't too happy about what I had to say. He
even changed the subject when I told him he wasn't taking it too well.
He brought up a past disagreement, which to me seemed a bit childish.
It doesn't help the situation when he has a father who spoils him. He
tried to get his lawyers to help my boyfriend get out of a ticket in court.
Not to mention his father doesn't seem to like me that much even
though I only met him twice. His mother insisted her son pay for it (she
wants him to take responsibility). I hope I am not ranting; I love my
boyfriend, but I feel like our relationship may not work out.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by embarrassing a not-so-innocent fresher to her parents.
POST: This fuck up, like most happened last year.
A bit of background to begin.. At the university that I study at, I am part of something that's called Freshers Crew, basically for 2 weeks we walk around in bright luminous orange tops and help out however we can. This involves moving peoples stuff into their rooms on campus when they arrive at University.
So, fast forward (or rewind..) to move in weekend last year where I was helping an nervous, yet excited petite Fresher into their new room for the next year. I ask the normal questions, such as "how are you", "what course are you studying", "have you travelled far" and so on and so forth. As I'm carrying a box up the stairs I notice that the bottom is starting to come away (the box was clearly flattened and then re-taped). As I follow the student into her room, the box does indeed give way and as that happens, a pretty big, purple dildo fell out of the box and onto the floor; the student looks at it and you can already see the embarrassment on her face.. but this was only the beginning.. you can kinda guess where this is going.. fast-forward a few seconds and her parents walk into the room, and low and behold the first thing they see was.. this purple dildo. No matter how much training I'd received, I genuinely had NO idea how to react; and neither did the student.. or the parents. After a few moments of stunned silence, the student picks it up and hurries it back into another box. She was as red as a tomato and I have never seen such disgust on a set of parents face when moving students in (this was my 3rd year of moving people in).
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I need some advice on a very sticky situation concerning a girl constantly coming on to my bf.
POST: Me:27 F The bf: 27 M
As the title states, there is this girl who makes advances toward my bf nearly every interaction. What I'd truly like to do is rip her apart with my bare hands, but the problem is that his very close and good group of friends all like her.
For some back story, he and I have been together, off and on for 4 years. Things are very good right now, but there was a time when we broke up and she and him slept together. After we got back together he told her, and cut nearly all contact (she was out of state at the time so running in to her with the group of friends was not an issue). She returned to town for a visit and texted him telling him to come fuck her, knowing that he and I were together. He told her to back off and that she was very much in the wrong for doing that. She is now living back in town and showing up at gatherings. She is a pretty cool girl, she's into a lot of the same things that the group is into so I understand they are not just going to all stop being friends with her because I don't like her, but tonight at a New Years party that I was not at she asked my bf to go buy her cigarettes and she'd pay him back with sex. If I were there I probably would have killed her. My bf said no and ignored her for the rest of the night. But how do I handle this? She's going to be around, and is clearly going to keep making advances despite his disinterest.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19F]I'm really insecure about my boyfriend's [22M] porn collection.
POST: I was browsing the web one day on his computer and decided to check out tumblr to look at some tags. He was logged into his account and his dashboard was flooded with porn. I don't see him on tumblr often so at first this didn't really bother me. Then another day I wanted to go back to a site I had been on before, but didn't remember the site. So I checked browser history to find it. It was all porn tumblr blogs. This is when I started to feel quite inadequate, I can't compare to these girls in anyway. And now last week I had downloaded something and needed to open it so instead of opening up documents and going to the download folder I just when to the chrome downloads. And this is when I discovered that he downloads all of this. Thousands and thousands of pictures of naked girls. I just feel really insecure with the way I look now. What is the point of trying to look hot and shave for him when he has porn? Not to mention nudes of his ex.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[m25] looking for online dating advice that helped people get through the process successfully
POST: The Background:
I have only dated a few women in my life. Of that only two or three were serious for me. My last relationship started online, but failed due to a lack of chemistry and a bit of communication failure. I have trouble with my self image(I don't understand why someone would attracted to me and think people are crazy if they do) and I tend to run out of things to say after the initial conversation.
Recently:
I restarted my OkCupid account. I've done online dating before but I'm hoping there is a bit more advice out there that others have found successful. I'm tired of reading the same articles that say start off by showing you read their profile, don't use emoticons, use emoticons, etc...
The one video I go back to is the TED confrence where a woman "hacked" the matching algorithm to become the most popular girl on the dating site. Her tactics were more geared towards women being found by men as opposed to guys putting a good step foward.
I know I can find someone out there but I'm not sure if they'll feel the same way. Any advice or tips are appreciated.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Commitment Issues. Wouldn't mind some help.
POST: Hey reddit, wouldn't mind a little help here. I've been kept up at night a long time for this, and it's finally getting to the point where I could use some help. Essentially the full situation is that about 2 years ago now I broke up with a long term girlfriend, and probably one of the strongest loves of my life. There were many issues involved, but the breakup never affected us talking to each other/being friends. I've been in 2 relationships since, and neither had the...quality of the relationship in question. Now, the problem here is that I still think I have feelings for her. STRONG feelings. Because of this, I now consider getting together with her again, but I'm not sure...I don't want to get tied down for years missing out on other opportunities like I may have before, especially considering I've went through dramatic changes since I last dated her. Yet at the same time I just know no one can love me like her. She loved me no matter what and helped me through a lot of struggles and I owe a lot success to her...I just don't know what to do here. I've thought about it for a quite awhile now...I sure could use some advice, or someone whose been there before.
Sorry for the wall of text.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending my leg flying after kicking a football.
POST: So a little bit of back story first. I am an LBK (left below knee) amputee and have been one for the past 9 years. How and why it happened doesn't really matter but it was after a lot of surgeries and a congenital problem. I wear a prosthesis and have a pretty active lifestyle. This incident happened around 8 years ago, back when I was still in school and had recently gotten fitted with a prosthesis. I was still getting used to it and also had the problem of the grip loosening a bit every time I walked too much because of the all the sweat.
I am a huge football fan(soccer to you Americans) and although I don't really play much, I do watch a lot of it. So I was wandering near the school football ground watching other kids play when all of a sudden this really juicy looking ball came rolling towards me begging to be kicked. Now because of the artificial leg and being a naturally left footed person I always felt I could kick with the maximum power possible. And so I did, sending the ball flying back towards the players. But along with the ball, my leg went flying across the field in the other direction narrowly missing a kids head.
Everybody froze for a moment after that as I frantically hopped towards my prosthesis. It was thee most awkward moment of my life as every single eye was on me and people staring was still something that I was not fully used to as an amputee yet. Some of the younger kids must have had a hard time explaining to their parents what had happened in school that day. Got a better fitting socket after that and a better suction system to avoid any more accidents due to flying legs.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: BF of 4 years is starting to be cold. I think this is going to end with a break up.
POST: We have been together since I was 16, now I'm 19 and he is 20. We have been living together for a year. I'm a full time student and he works full time. He's from Arizona. He moved to California to be with me, so he doesn't have any friends other than co-workers. Since he doesn't have any friends, we spend most of our time together. I love being around him, I ask him if he feels fine spending all his time with me and he says he doesn't really care. His co-workers ask him to come to parties but he always says no. We do hang out with my friends, which are mostly guys, and he gets along with them well.
Lately he has just been so cold, he doesn't kiss me goodbye in the morning when he leaves to work, doesn't send me messages about what's going on at work, he doesn't even want to have sex anymore. Whenever I tell him about my day he just responds with I don't want to here about. If I do something wrong he gets super mad and starts throwing stuff and cursing at me. If i ask him what's wrong or why is he mad he just says nothing just leave me alone. Everything is just different.
I don't know what to do. How do I approach him about this. I don't really want to break up with him because I'm so used to being around him. I don't know what I would do without him. He was my first.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27/M] and my SO [28/F] are in a long distance relationship. How can I be more of an initiator in a long distance relationship?
POST: We've been in this relationship for about 2 months now. I do text and talk to her. I initiate those texts most of the time. However she wants me to initiate other things that show that I am caring. Being long distance, what is it that needs to be initiated?
Also without physically being there how can my actions be affectionate and considerate other than chatting through text and talking on the phone? She tells me all of the sweet things I say are just words and are meaningless without affectionate action. In a long distance relationship, how does this work? How can I do this?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Rejecting?
POST: Hey guys, so recently went on a little coffee meet up with a girl from OKC. She was cute and I really liked her personality, however, after some reflection, I realized pursuing a relationship with her isn't the best idea. From my house she lives roughly 40 min away, not bad. However, from campus, where I spend the majority of my time and will be living around there very soon, she lives roughly an hour and a half away. This can become bothersome. Another issue is that she is looking for something quite serious, she talked about if I wanted kids, and looked like she was on the hunt for a husband. While I would love a serious relationship, I can see this one moving too fast and I need to take my next one a little slow.
I feel bad because I could've foreseen the issues beforehand (i.e. the distance thing). I don't want to lead her on, as I know how much that sucks. I told her after the meet up that I would like to see her again, I know, another dumb thing to say.
Pretty much, I've never had to tell someone that I'm not interested in them. Do I make a call or only text since it was only one meet up, not even a date? I have trouble finding the balance between too nice and too mean.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Help choosing a target pace for a half marathon a month out, please?
POST: I'm running the Newport Liberty half marathon on September 22nd. This will be my second half marathon, I did the same one last year in 2:34. I've now been running for a year and a half with a few minor breaks this year, but roughly 20mpw on average. Kind of a low base, I know, but I goofed up earlier this year. I'm okay with just finishing this race again, though any improvement over last year will be great.
My 5k PR is 30:36, though the fastest I've been able to do since that is 32:00. I've been doing my long runs by myself and at a purposely slow pace, about 12:00 minute miles. I want some gas in the tank at the end of them. My long runs are also very hilly, whereas the course is flat. Last weekend I worked up to 9 miles, which took me 1:48, but that was taking it fairly easy.
I've pushed hard in 5k races, but I haven't really pushed hard at longer distances. Today I did 4 miles in 41 minutes and only stopped at 4 because I have to get ready for work. I definitely could have kept that 10:30 pace up for 6 miles and possibly for longer.
I'm not concerned about having any gas in my tank at the end of the race. I'm definitely in better shape now than I was last year. But I am wondering if I'm setting myself up for total disappointment if I set out too fast, or if the disappointment will be in going too slow.
I'm glad I will have all winter to work on things like this in preparation for my first full marathon in the spring, but that doesn't help me with this race. Maybe you guys can!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] and my girlfriend [16 F] of 1 year are taking a 3-day break to clear our heads after a fight. Should we just end it?
POST: A few nights ago I went out while my girlfriend was working, and saw two old friends at a restaurant. It was me, a girl I've known since kindergarten, her little sister, and my little sister. I told my girlfriend beforehand and she said "Oh great! It'll be fun to see them!"
Later, she started replying to my texts all passive-aggressively with many "K"s and the like. I asked her what was wrong and she told me to leave her alone.
I called her, and she accused me of going on a date. She then proceeded to accuse me of being in love with my sister. I yelled at her then, the first time ever, and told her that was completely ridiculous.
She said "At least I didn't go on a date with three other boys late night" and hung up on me. We talked today and she apologized profusely, saying she said these things without thinking.
We decided to take a 3-day break. Should I simply end it?
I have trouble with that. She has loved me so well, and I am WAY too empathetic towards her feelings. I find it very hard to simply end it and give up, even though there have been way too many fights lately, and the suggestion of breaking up has come up four times.
Is it worth it?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Nobody has ever been so nice to me
POST: Last night I was with a friend whom I haven't seen in quite a long time. We ended up sitting in my car alone parked in a neighborhood on the street near his house so we could talk.
As I began explaining some stuff, I started tearing up and he noticed. Not much longer after that, I went into full blown crying mode. I never do that in front people. Never used to, I mean. So he kept trying to comfort me and calm me down, but I just wouldn't stop shaking. I kept saying "why me, why me, why me" over and over like I was in a daze.
Eventually, he runs out my passenger side door and I think he's running away because I'm crying over him or something. I was though, partly. We both knew that. I attempt to call out his name before he can get any farther, but he wasn't in fact running away. He was running around my car to the driver's door to open it. As soon as he opened it and I stepped out, he embraced me like no one ever has before and let me cry it all out.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by investigating what my dogs were barking at
POST: So this just happened a few minutes ago and I am feeling like a terrible person for it.
Now, my two dogs tend to bark at nearly everything they see and I've been working on fixing this and training them to stop barking so much. When they started barking, I just got up and went out to the back yard to see what it was they were barking at. When I saw they were barking at the pool, I just turned off the pool cleaning robot and went back inside assuming that was it.
As you can imagine, it wasn't the pool cleaner. They continued barking and I noticed they were looking right at the hole where the water flows in to be filtered. I saw what looked like a mass of dirt and assumed they were just barking at it.
I grabbed a hose and sprayed water at the dirt, when a bird jumped out of the filtration system! Now here I am spraying a bird with a hose that is struggling to stay on the surface of the water. I quickly dropped the hose and ran to the pool skimmer, but when I got back the bird wasn't there.
I looked in the hole to the filtration system to see that the bird wasn't there. I then started looking around, maybe the bird has gotten out? Then I saw it. My two dogs where ripping bits of the bird apart. Now my back-yard is strewn with bird bits and I'm sitting in my house writing about it on reddit. The worst part about it all? Another bird of the same species (it seems) watch the whole thing and is still there, chirping repeatedly as if it expects a response.
Now I feel like a horrible person ;-;
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Not sure if I should stay at this job with the stress level and just deal with it or hop ship and potentially be unemployed for a while.
POST: So I have been working at this start up for about 5 months, almost 6 I believe, and while some aspects of the job are interesting, like the randomness of some projects I am asked to do and some of the fun issues I get to solve, other aspects of it are quite frustrating and stressful.
My title at this start up is Office Assistant. I do alot of things but one of my main responsibilities is to assist one of the Executives. Now when I applied for the job it didn't say this, when I had the phone interview I was told it would be 10% of my job. When I went to the in person interview I was told it would be about 50% of my job. And now it's basically 100% of my job with about 50% of other office stuff.
I've been trying to talk to the company to get into another department, the marketing department, because it looks fun and sort of creative. I graduated with a degree in film so I enjoy being creative. However, due to the CEO of this startup recently stepping down and the top part of the organization in a scramble to figure out what to do, I was basically told that, for the foreseeable future there will be no change to my position.
I also heard, from some guys in another department, that apparently our product isn't getting much traction not because it isn't good, but because people don't want to pay for it or learn how to use it.
I really don't like my job and I know if I leave that I could be unemployed for another 7 months. I haven't been at this job too long I think but the stress is insane and I just can't keep up with the amount of work I am given.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] possibly dating my [21 F]friend of 2 years who just recently broke up with her boyfriend
POST: So I've been friends with this girl who used to be my co-worker for almost 2 years, but I've known her since middle school. She's been dating the same guy since our freshman years of highschool, but she just recently broke up with him.
I want to date her, but my two issues are:
When should I make it apparent that I like her? I wouldn't want to do it too early and be a rebound, but I wouldn't want to wait too long and miss my opportunity.
How do you transition from being a friend that long to a romantic interest? We pretty much know everything about each other, and we hang out (with other friends) a lot, yet I'm not sure how I'd go about transitioning from just friends to a potential partner.
Any help is very appreciated!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M/20) Sexual mismatch in my first relationship
POST: Hey Reddit, (This a copy from my post in r/relationship_advice) This is my first time asking/talking about this to anyone. I'm a 20 year old guy. My girlfriend is also 20, we'll have been together for 4 years in January.
I think we have a pretty good relationship, we play games together and rarely fight.
There's really only one (major) issue, we have a severe sexual drive mismatch, as in, I wouldn't mind having sex twice a day, and would like it probably 5 times a week.
I know thats pretty unreasonable, but we only have sex maybe 4 times per month and, while she does enjoy sex once we've started, I think she has initiated maybe twice in our relationship, and is open to sex without significant convincing maybe once every other month.
I really love this girl, and she loves me too, and I really want to do what is in my power to fix this. I was hoping some of you had stories, or some advice that could help me out.
I should also add, we have talked about it a number of times, it either helps, or ends up with us in an argument, but either way things go back to how they were before pretty quickly. Thanks!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey there Reddit, I have an awesome fella who's an ocean away, how do I make Valentine's Day epic for him?
POST: My boyfriend is in the US and I am studying abroad for a semester in the UK. We've been dating for almost 7 months, and he recently flew over to celebrate our 6th month anniversary (romantic weekend, etc). Basically he's fantastic, and I want to make Valentine's Day great for him (it's his first with a girlfriend, and our first together). I'm a student, so unfortunately I don't have tons of cash, but want to do something special. I'm traveling to Ireland this weekend, so I was thinking of picking up a Claddagh ring, but thought it might be too feminine. I'd greatly appreciate your help, guys!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Conflicts with spouse
POST: We have been married for last 7 years. For last few years we have been fighting regularly.
I am not a native speaker of English so please bear with me.
My wife is not satisfied with current things. We both are working people. I am 35 and she is 32. we have separate accounts. She does not reveal her banking transactions to me. I want to have a control on money for our better future. So sometimes I want information on how the money was spent etc. She is annoyed with this.
She keeps on demanding like we buy new things. I feel she is too materialistic.
She is also not wise with money. She spends some of her money on expensive things like shoes etc. So I try to control the spendings.
Usually she tells me she wants some new thing. My reaction is always not positive. This creates conflicts.
She says I am too tight fisted.
Also I feel she is not living up to my expectations in bed. She is not receptive when I try to initiate sex. So she tries to control by not giving sex. I pretend I dont care on this but I am worried. We are in a conservative society so we cannot separate. Also we have a 4 yr old daughter. I hear stories of people loving their spouses till death. I would like our relationship to be happy and full of love for both of us.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: [Advice] I work as a casual laborer to make ends meet. Now employers seem to be judging me for having a gap of experience in my field.
POST: Background: So I was lucky enough when I was in school to get a number of jobs in my field. I have about 5 years of relevant experience now. However, my most recent contract ended in August and I've had to take on a casual labor (landscaping) position to make ends meet. I don't mind the hard work at all and I see it as just a stop-gap measure while I look for another job in my field.
The problem: I never imagined that this situation would be a professional problem. Since my last contract ended, I've continued to go to events and network in my field while I look for a new job. I've started to find that when I tell other professionals that I'm landscaping now that many of them have the same reaction: raised eyebrows, surprise and disapproval.
The worse problem: I've had two interviews recently and both of them asked what I was doing now. When I told them I'm a landscape laborer they both had the same reaction: raised eyebrows and a quiz about why I'm doing that and why I'm applying to their organization.
It's humiliating and discouraging to have other professionals in my field disapprove of what I have to do to make ends meet. Would it be better to tell them I'm doing nothing but sitting at home and applying for jobs? Better to focus on volunteer work (I do some of that)? Better to avoid the question of what I'm doing now or give a vague answer?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [F23] learn to play it cool and be less obsessive with guys I'm seeing?
POST: Hi /r/relationships! I've been having a few issues dating and I'd really appreciate any advice anyone has.
Guys rarely seem to think of me as girlfriend material and I'm not sure why. I get told a lot that I'm attractive and funny and fun to be around, but a lot of the time a guy will start messaging me and then it will just fizzle out after a couple weeks.
I'm an obsessive person by nature. Once I like something I usually love it. If I try a new hobby and like it, I'll spend all my time doing it, spend money on all the equipment, talk about it a lot. I'll see one episode of a show and binge 6 seasons in a week. I'll forget to eat for two days if I'm in the middle of a work project. Things like that.
I do this with guys too, but obviously I know to restrain myself. Once I start messaging them I find it hard to think about other things, particularly anyone else. My friends always laugh about my intense crushes, however brief they are.
I'm an all or nothing girl and I tend to get frustrated if a guy is not as into me and I am them (which usually happens). I don't like playing games (waiting days to reply to a message, making people jealous etc) but sometimes I wonder if that's what I should start doing? Because messaging normally (eg when I see they've text I just reply then) seems to put guys off?
Any questions are welcome because I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I'll be texting a guy and it'll seem great and we'll plan to meet up but then it just fizzles out before the date.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: She seems to want to move fast, am I'm missing something?
POST: 23M (me), 23F (her)
We've hit it off on OkCupid for a while, and it was good. She's working on her Masters. I'm in the software development field.
We went on our first date Sunday, and it went well enough that I don't think I've had a better one yet-- didn't get much further than a few hugs though, scheduling limited the time of our date so that was fine.
I called her a little more than 24-hours (on Monday) later after doing research on next date options-- I was thinking Thursday at the earliest but probably later. Before I know it she's asking if I want to meet for lunch today (Wednesday).
I could be over examining this. Our first date had no moments of silence. Whenever I would pause for a moment while thinking she would pick up the delay and our conversation never slowed down. The same thing happened at various spots in our phone call. Her OkCupid profile specifically stated that she was looking for "someone who would be patient with her" as she's "not too experienced with relationships"-- so this is a little unexpected from my perspective.
While I'm really sure we get along, that we're pretty compatible, and that we've both been honest with each other on everything we've said (and there's a lot we haven't simply because of time-- my messages were long enough as it was).
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to not come across as flirty in the work place?
POST: Hi friends,
I work in a very formal workplace office, so I make no attempt to try and hit on women, or flirt with people while at work. It's just a dangerous idea, so i usually avoid it altogether.
However, due to my extreme extroversion I have a tendency to be extra friendly to people, male or female, and especially new folks to make them feel welcome in the company. Recently a coworker approached me and stated that another female coworker felt I had been hitting on her at work (she even has a SO, so hell NO i'm not hitting on her -____-). The coworker came to my defense, and attempted to tell the woman that I am just a friendly person. However, this woman did not believe said person. I'm not too worried at this point, a simple change in attitude towards her should fix this situation.
However, this troubles me for future situations. In a big corporate environment, misunderstandings like this could damage my reputation, cost me possible raises, promotions, and even a job. I don't want to change my personality for the sake of entitled people who think i am trying to make an advance on them at work. My words are very precise, and I would never say anything legitimately inappropriate, but i worry about people that inadvertently (or purposefully) read between the lines.
How does an extremely outgoing person accomplish this without sacrificing my natural personality?
Many thanks...
Age: mid 20's for both parties
Length of relationship = nonexistent
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [23M] Dated a beautiful girl and now I'm going insane
POST: So I went out with a girl, arranged by a mutual friend. She is way above my level (I'm more of "hes not bad" "hes cute" "I guess some girls might like him" type of a guy), she came out mostly because she is into my ethnicity. We really just talked for 10 hours over 4 venues and we talked about so much. Literally no awkward silences, and we still have fuckton left to talk about. After we went home we've just been texting non-stop.
Now my mind is thinking, this shit can't be right. Shes traveled all around the world, did modeling, partied at VIP sections with celebrities. I'm... an okay guy, recent grad from reputable university with a finance degree and have been in job search for 2 weeks, but I have no charisma or alpha instinct or an ability to attract girls. This has to be some sort of elaborate prank? Like, a new YouTube channel that sets up models with average Joes and secretly films their date. I'm going crazy. We have number of mutual friends, they will laugh when they see me! Or maybe she is a famous crazy girl that people haven't warned me about. Possibly AIDS or a TV? Maybe she aint messin' with no broke nigga?
I don't know if this just happens to me or to anyone else, but its driving me nuts. How can this happen!? Any words of advice?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What little things make you realize how awesome your SO is?
POST: I had a long conversation via text with an old friend recently. I had recommended him some short stories and he text me with feedback. We started chatting and ended up talking about semi-political views and life goals (a common thing in college years). He is a very idealistic person and somewhat impractical. He is fun and very smart, but his views are so foreign to me. Talking to this friend made me realize how awesome and lucky it is that I have my SO. He is the perfect complement to my personality and my best friend. He always understands what I am saying and laughs at my not so funny puns.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Approaching things with ex co-worker[24/F]
POST: Ok so I'm 25 and I used to work with this girl so the work situation of dating is out of the way. I just recently got out of a 7 year relationship that shocked me with the way things I found out. I'm pretty much completely over that because of what was discovered. Cannot see that person the same again.
Anyways this girl that use to work with me went through similar issues in her past so I contacted her to talk.. She asked to hang out and talk over it then. So we did, ended up spending the whole night with her and some friends but by the end of the night it was just me and her. I've always sense a vibe from her, not sure if it's playful or interest. Anyways she said a few times that she's glad I came to talk to her, she told me later that she was glad we got to know each other. We hugged at the end and it seemed like she didn't even want to let go, I didn't want to let go for sure, it felt good. She then said I hope I didn't scare you away. I'm not looking for anything it's just she's a pretty cool person to hang out with and I would like to hang out with her more.
I don't know how to approach this and I probably should have asked her to do this again but I didn't and no that opportunity is gone. There were times where she would reach out and touch me as I was walking she rubbed my shoulder slightly with her hand. She has quite the number of guys after her so there's quite a bit of competition but I'm honestly just looking for someone I can hang out with and talk and just not have any worries at least for now.
It'll be a lot easier if I asked for her number and she gave it to me outside of work but we got each other's number through work so it's a bit harder to gauge if she's interested.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Job Advice, asking current employer about new job opening within company.
POST: Hey folks, I was just looking to get some second and third opinions about a situation I'm in right now concerning my work life. Currently I have an internship that pays decently well for what it is, and the hours are excellent. I can work as many hours as I want during the week, and can work when I want, pretty much where ever I want, whether that's from home or in the office. After recently graduating, I've started looking at new jobs and full time opportunities and interviewing heavily. I am also now expecting my first bundle of joy which means that I'm going to have to be making it a bit more than I am now. The thing is I don't want to leave the company that I'm at, I really like the environment there and it's the first job that I've had that don't dread going into. There is currently an opening there for a full time position in which I am totally qualified for, but the new position makes the same as I do right now which wouldn't be enough to cover all of my coming expenses. Would it be out of the question to talk to my manager to see if there is a way that I can apply towards that job, and if I get it, keep my current position and responsibilities and possibly make more than what I currently am? Would be terrible to tell them what's going on in my personal life to see if that changes anything? My mangers and I do have a really good relationship, and from what I can tell they like me, I just don't want to jeopardize that or have them take away my current position all together.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF seems to only feel loved when we're (24F and 27M) regularly having sex
POST: Been together 3 years, lived together for 2. She's always had a super high libido. She's told me before that once a day would be ideal for her. But I've been going through some personal life stuff in the past year or so (unemployment, not getting into grad school) and honestly my libido wasn't that high to begin with. We have full-on sex about once a month and do some fooling around probably once a week. Except for this issue, she takes really good care of me - amazing chef, perfect cuddle buddy, great confidante.
My issue is that she's really unhappy with this sexual frequency, even though she knows I'm pretty depressed and not up to being Casanova. I try to be romantic in other ways - make her coffee, bring her home drinks she likes, offer to rub her shoulders or whatever, but it's like sex is the only thing that counts! She used to get really withdrawn and mopey if we hadn't done it in a week or two, but now she just seems disappointed and irritable almost all the time. I asked her why she's been so short with me lately and she told me she just isn't feeling loved, she feels ugly and like I'm not in love with her anymore. I feel like she's being callous. I've offered to finger her or use her vibrator on her whenever she wants, so it's not like she can't get sexual attention from me if she just reaches out, but she's mad about that too. If she were depressed and wasn't up to it, I'd be a hell of a lot more understanding than she is, I think. Am I right to be upset at her for treating me this way? She can't seem to be sympathetic to me.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [25M] of several months was briefly seeing a friend of mine before she died. I [23F] am struggling
POST: It sounds weird, I know, but it's been oddly great. We were friends, spending time together and talking about our memories of our mutual friend, hanging out more and more, until we finally leap right into our feelings for each other one night, and have been together since.
I'm struggling very hard to reconcile this. If she were still alive, he'd be with her, and it's unfair of me to even see it this way. She was a friend, and in both of our minds, she somehow brought two people she cared about together (cheesy but it feels true for us). She will never be back, and yet I am almost envious of her.
I feel so much inadequacy whenever he brings her up now, I feel angry with her, I feel angry at myself for being angry at her. Any reminder that he was happy with her, and might not be as happy with me, makes me sad. I feel the need to be everything and more for him, and every time I say something that she'd be cooler about, I beat myself up. As simple as saying while watching a show, "I wouldn't want seafood cooked over an open fire", to which he'll respond that he thinks it sounds cool. I'll instantly think, "She was so outdoorsy and so is he, I bet she'd love it. She was more fun than me".
I don't know if this is something to talk about with him. I know it's so unfair to him to feel this way, all he did was lose some one, but it eats at me in little pieces that leave me wondering how I could be good enough. Outside of moments when she's brought up, I feel great about myself and our relationship, and he does everything he can to help me stay there. One mention of her, and the whole night goes south for my psyche. He doesn't know that this is what causes it, he just knows that I don't always feel great about myself and does whatever he can to cheer me up. How do I handle this?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] recently (2 months ago) have started a FWB situation with my [23F] friend. We then developed mutual feelings.
POST: I have a female friend who I have had feelings for. We made out about 2 months ago and have continued to do so fairly regularly. We have sleepovers 1-4 times a week and have both admitted to having feelings for each other.
However, she has made it very clear she does not want to date me, but claims I am her "Physical soulmate" (We click extremely well physically). In an effort to get past these feelings she has been going on dates with another guy, but has not stopped spending the night in my apartment. I like her, and am a bit hurt she is seeing this guy without ending our physical relationship. I have tried telling her, but she got very hurt and upset for a day or two, then apologized and we ended up getting back into our physical relationship.
Is our friendship even salvagable at this point? Should I stop talking to her completely? Should I try and bring up my concerns as calm and maturely as possible?
I'd love for things to continue, but I'd rather her not be seeing this other dude. She is an extremely sensitive girl and I am unsure of how to bring it up without hurting her feelings. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Can't believe I let myself get in this situation.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my BF [22 M] of 2 years, doesn't put effort into his appearance
POST: Hi, I feel a bit silly about complaining this as it's a pretty small issue compared to some other stuff, but it's bothering me and I'm not sure how to approach it. So basically, my boyfriend does not have the best dress sense. He's also put on some weight in the last year or so, which has meant less of his clothes fit. He also doesn't have that much money (we're both students), so it's not as easy as going out and buying new clothes, and when he does have money he usually buys video games or goes out with it. The clothes he does wear are ill-fitting and, to be brutally honest, he does look a bit scruffy. He lets his hair grow out well past its time to be cut, and just in general doesn't put an awful lot of effort into his appearance. I usually make an effort to look nice, but that's me on any given day.
This has been the case since the start of our relationship and it was OK, I love him for who he is. However, I guess with the weight gain and stuff, it's kinda become more obvious, and I feel less attracted to him overall. It's a shame because when wearing the right clothes and a good haircut and stuff he really does look great, and I'm so attracted to him, but lately it's been a bit harder for me.
I don't really know what to do. If he brought this up with me, I would probably feel at least a little offended. At the end of the day it's not a dealbreaker, I'm in love with him because of his many great features, but I do think it is a little bit of an issue. I've bought him some clothes as presents here and there, things that he's wanted, but there's only so much of that I can do.
Maybe I'm being a bit irrational? He isn't too bothered about his appearance and maybe it's a bit unfair of me to be put out about his laziness sometimes? I'd really just like some opinions and advice about what to do about this, and feel free to tell me if I'm just being ridiculous.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Honest question; of governments are allowed to hire military contractors, is there anything stopping an NGO from hiring them to catch a wanted war criminal?
POST: With all the Kony business, my friends and I were talking [7] and my friend challenged me to think about how we would physically go after someone if we absolutely needed to.
My friend, lets call him mark, pondered and asked, 'what is actually stopping us from getting on a plane with a hundred people and trying to capture him?'
My other friend, lets call him nick, responded "isn't that the whole reason he surrounds himself with armed child soldiers."
Me and mark; "Oh yeah"
Then nick, clearly wearing the most reasonable head at the time asks, "so, what's to stop a site like Reddit (yes they are redditors, obviously) from amassing a chunk of money like they did for the orphanage, and hire some ex SAS commando sniper team to take the guy out?"
I asked; "Well, why doesn't a charity just do that?"
...
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M22] am in a new relationship with an awesome girl [F20] but am having some issues with over analyzing things, help me out?
POST: As the title says, I'm having some issues with over analyzing things with my new girlfriend. We've been together about a month. She's awesome, we get a long really well and see eye to eye on just about every major issue like sex, religion, politics, social situations etc. She's never given me a reason not trust her, on the contrary she's given me just about every reason to trust her.
Basically the problem is that I have been cheated on or left in every previous relationship I've had before her. It's created a lot of trust issues, issues that I am trying to recognize as they come up and dismiss because she is not one of my exes and a different person. She and I have talked extensively about this because she has some of the same issues that I have. We keep the lines of communication open, tell each other when potential issues may be coming down the pike and resolve them as quickly as possible. She really is amazing, and I don't want this one to fall into the same problems my past relationships have.
So, my question I guess is what can I do to alleviate my over worked brain? Is this something that will go away as time goes on? (I have been single for the past three years, kinda got used to it) Anything you can provide would be awesome because like I said, I really, REALLY, like this girl.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm a 21 year old electronic musician/songwriter about to go on a tour throughout Europe in April. I need some advice on travel, car rental, financing, and more!
POST: Here's a little more background info:
The tour is a joint tour, featuring myself and another artist. I will be traveling with him along with his girlfriend. My best friend is coming along as well. We are flying into Hamburg on April 1st, and our first show is on the 2nd. From there, we're doing another 22-25 shows in most of the major cities in Western European countries. We're also hitting a few stops in Poland, Slovenia, and Slovakia, and the Czech Republic. Basically, we're traveling in a BIG circle, finally ending the trip back in Hamburg and flying home on the 28th. Accommodation isn't a big concern since we will either be driving most of the time or staying with promoters/blogger friends. As for earnings, I'll be making roughly 200-350 Euros each show.
We want to rent the cheapest car possible, but it has to have good gas mileage, since we're going to be doing so much traveling. I've been looking at prices and options, and it doesn't look too expensive to get a manual transmission car.
Here are my concerns:
None of us know how to drive a stick shift, which is undoubtedly the cheapest option in rental cars. My friend and I are willing to learn, but I was hoping that everyone could share driving duties, as we will literally be driving 200-400 miles almost every single day. Is it hard to learn? I am also worried about gas prices. I know that in some spots it's around 10 Euros a gallon. I am pretty sure I'll be able to break-even in terms of costs/earnings, but I was also hoping to make a small profit from the tour. I'm also wondering if I have to pay taxes when entering certain countries if I plan on selling merch. Is that a big issue? I only plan on bringing some CD's, vinyl, and maybe a few hundred T-shirts.
Can anybody help me out?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(M16) went to a family reunion and my cousin(F14) was trying to make out with me. Help!
POST: So I attended a family reunion last week and I was hanging out with one of my cousins(he is like a brother) and his sister. So anyways we were talking and catching up(me and him, his sister just followed him) but anyways his mom called him so he went to help. When he left I was surprised that his sister didn't leave, I asked her why she didn't go with him she said she liked hanging out with me.
We were talking for about 5 minutes and she asked me if I had any girlfriends, I replied with no but I could see where she was going with it so I began to walk away. But she grabbed my hand and came close and started to kiss me. I quickly backed off but that's when I saw her brother, he was there jaw dropped.
Even though I told him I was trying to leave he thinks I like his sister. I tried to explain that I would never do that to him and 1. She is 14. And 2. SHE IS MY COUSIN. Help! How do I end this crap from getting out of control and losing one of my best friends.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Contradictory/Hypocritical
POST: Hi there,
I [21F] need some advice desperately. So this guy [23M] I've been talking to off pof for the past couple months finally met me, and we had an amazing romantic night. I know that he's scared because I stopped talking to him randomly one day, and I apologized profusely for it. Anyhow, after we had that night together, he drove me home, and I asked him what his intentions were with me, and then he came back with a very mean thing to say. He said that if we kept meeting up and it didn't get him laid, he would go "fishing for other fishies". But then the next day after I ignored his statement, he said that he just wanted me to be myself. So what does he really mean? Does he want other girls or does he want me?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (18/F) am wondering what to do about my boyfriend (19/M) who seems to be misguided about life.
POST: So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are both in college, but are trying long distance. I stayed in-state and went to a fairly inexpensive college. He decided to go out of state to a pretty expensive school, and his parents warned him during this past summer that besides paying for college, they were probably not going to support him financially throughout the school year. We both received a generous amount of graduation money, but I got a job to have a bit more spending money for the summer. He, on the other hand, chose not to get a job, even after his parents said that they would reconsider cutting him off if he got a job. There were times that I would put a job application in front of him and then later find it crumpled up in the back of his car. That's not even the worst part. Most of what we did during the summer, I paid for because "all the money [he] has needs to go towards college and [he] can't afford to spend his." I'm worried that this is going to continue to be a trend (he says he's going to try and get a summer internship, but who would hire a guy with no work experience?!) and I joined reddit because i need some advice on a) how to bring this topic up to my boyfriend when I see him over winter break and b) what I should do A little tidbit of information about my boyfriend that may be important to know is that he has aspergers. I'm not exactly sure if that accounts for anything, but I figure I should point that out.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[F19] boyfriend [M20] still hangs with his ex. How do I get over my jealousy?
POST: They broke up a year ago on good terms. They occasionally get together to catch up (dinners etc). My boyfriend has been really respectful towards me about this and always asks if I'm okay with these meet ups beforehand. I only have one ex and unfortunately we're not on the best of terms so we've gone no nc. However I can see how if we stayed friends it would be nice to hang out every once in a while. It sounds like a reasonable request to make. I tell my boyfriend I'm fine with these meetings because they sound pretty reasonable and I trust him. I still can't help but get jealous though and I know I'm being unreasonable. It doesn't sound fair to tell him he can't see his ex since they're still friends and I don't plan to. I know I should trust him more and get over my insecurities. Please talk some sense into me, thanks.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Delaying the inevitable? F(31) dating boyfriend M(29) for over a year, giving up hope of relationship going any further. He doesn't know what he wants and I do.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year and he is less sure of what he wants now than he was when we first started dating. It started out great and he made it clear that he wanted marriage. He is a good guy and has a great job and is good with my 7 year old son. At 3 months into our relationship HE was looking at engagement rings. At about 9 months in it all turned around. He gives me the whole "I'm just not ready" spill any time it is mentioned. This weekend he mentioned that his idea of the next step was us shacking up, I told him that wasn't going to happen. He has lived at home with his mom basically his whole life. I've been understanding and have made my home open to him. He helps out and spends most of his time while not at work there. I don't know what to think. Is he leading me on? Should I just be more patient?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25M] Pre-Med SO (22F) of 3 years wants more but I am not so sure.
POST: So a little background about myself and my SO. I have graduated an am out of school as a successful engineer. We met on tinder 3 years ago and have been doing great since. She is pre-med and will be going to Med school next fall. She has hinted more than once about wanting more than just a relationship and that if i wasnt interested that i shouldnt waste her time. each time i have said that i am interested in more but that our situations right now arent conducive to a bigger commitment. She is still in school 2 hours from me currently and that will likely to remain for the duration of med school at best. At worst she could be in another state during residency. I am conflicted because we could get engaged just for her to move 12 hours away for 3 years. I am not in a place to move as i have a great job and my family is from the area. I do not know if i should have blind faith in our future but i dont have a lot of confidence that any relationship would survive years of med school and 3 years of residency of a SO working 100 hours a week 12 hrs from their SO. To cap it all off i have a deep fear that my belief of her being the best person for me is only because of my limited long term relationships.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[24M] had a three way with [21M] and [21F] a week ago, lingering feelings and general emotional confusion.
POST: I recently had a threeway with a married couple couple and it was a wonderful experience. No jealousy for any of us and everyone really enjoyed themselves.
My problem is that I can't stop thinking about the girl. I'm not really thinking about her in a star-struck lovey-dovey kind of way, but in a way that I seem to seek her attention and affection. Obviously, this is a problem to feel that way about a married woman in a relationship that only brings people in for sex and not polyamory.
So I'm trying to figure out why I feel this way about her. I obviously find her attractive and we get along well, but it's clear that it's just sex to both of them (as was explicitly stated before we did anything). I cognitively understand my feelings are misplaced and, to be frank, I'm not even sure what those feelings are, I just find myself thinking about her often. My goal is to try to understand and reconcile these emotional feelings with the rational side of me that recognizes the healthiest way to interact with the couple is to have me not be involved.
So, I have two questions. First, how can I understand and eventually reconcile my feelings for this woman? I very much enjoyed the threeway and their company and would hate to have stupid emotions get in the way. Second, why is it that I felt like this in the first place? I knew that it was going to be just for sex, but I still feel like I expected more. Any help / comments / suggestions would be much appreciated! :)
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my girlfriend[20F] 2.5 years, Girlfriend took a new job drastically cutting down our time together
POST: I'm really close with my girlfirend and we usually see each other every day. She took a job as a medical attendant at a summer camp until the middle of August and stays there 6 days a week; I'm feeling lonely and a little jealous.
I've been away from my girlfriend for longish periods (around a month) when we've gone on separate vacations with our families, but this times a little different. She rarely has time to chat, and is engaged with a whole new group of friends who are counselors at the camp. I'm so used to chatting with her, the separation is making me lonely, and I hate it, but I can't help feeling a little jealous of her new friends.
I work early hours, 6:30-3:00, as a fabricator/welder with a good group of guys, but who are all older and have families to go home to, so I don't do much with coworkers. My good friends are all mostly unavailable because they all work afternoon shifts late into the evening, so I don't have many people to hang out with. My one day a week with my girl is amazing, but each week makes me miss her more with each parting.
I'm trying to fill my days up with exercise and any time with friends I can get, but it's not doing much. Hearing about how much fun my girlfriends having with her work makes me happy, but I can't help but feeling a little jealous at the same time.
So reddit, how can I make my next few weeks more entertaining?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] SO [24M] just got out of a six year relationship and I'm caught in the middle of the post-breakup drama.
POST: The guy I'm seeing is absolutely fantastic - smart, interesting, kind, generous -- all of it. However, he ended a six-year relationship in early May and chaos has followed ever since. To clarify, I met him on Tinder and the only expectation either of us had was to have a short fling (I recently ended a relationship too), but it developed into much more. We are crazy about each other and have been dating pretty seriously for the past 8 weeks.
What makes me most uncomfortable is his newly ended relationship. I have absolutely no contact with my ex; he tried to contact me and I told him not to call me again. My SO is different; his ex constantly calls him in tears and tries to manipulate him into coming over. She relies on him very much still and understandably hasn't gotten over their time together (and likely won't for a long time), which would be okay except it is intruding very much into my relationship with him. The breaking point for me was last night, when she happened to pass us in the car and ended up being physically violent towards him. She didn't know about me and he still has not told her we've been dating regularly.
I should add that the two of us aren't exclusive yet. The reason we haven't progressed to exclusivity is because I want these issues resolved before starting a relationship. He assures me he's ready, but these encounters tell me it's way too soon. I feel like he won't be ready to date for at least a few months, and that I should just find someone else. I don't approve of the way he handles his ex, but don't feel the situation is as black and white as it seems. They have a long history and I know it'll take some time to figure out. To ask him to cut off all contact does not seem realistic or fair.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] and a guy that i like very much [23 M] talk a lot on kik but i feel like he sometimes ignores me, could it be because i am needy?
POST: okay as you can see i am a teenager and i might sound imature and super childish for some of you. but truth is that i am very insecure (feel ugly and pointless and etc) and needy (i need people all the time to tell me i look cute and that i am smart etc-need validation). this super hot guy who i am chatting with on kik is so nice to me and seems to love my body so much and my looks in general. we also talk about other things (not just naughty chats). but i seem to get a little obsessed sometimes and message him a lot and he replies me short answers and seems just sick of me. maybe i am exaggerating..? but never been in a relationship and when i talk to a guy even on the internet i feel so excited and stuff. should i just give him space and stop messaging him and when i do just naughty stuff?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Whether to mention the real reason for changing one of my previous jobs to a future employer or not?
POST: Dear Reddit Community,
I am currently looking at changing jobs and am not sure whether it would be a good idea to mention the real reason why I changed my previous job in the first place. I could do more harm than good. I would like your opinion on the subject.
Perviously, I was working a job with lesser pay and somewhat financially unstable. However, the work was very interesting. Sadly, my Mother and Brother depend financially on the divorce settlement payed out by my Father, who since then became unemployed. Having a new family of his own, he stopped sending help.
Being the only member with some financial income, I was left with a choice. Stay where I am, have trouble helping them or change jobs to something far less interesting but with a very increased and stable income so that I could help them out. I opted to go for the latter.
Pass forward 1.5 years. My family is almost financially independent and my help is now minimal, leading me to start looking for another job which appeals more to my interests.
What I would like to know is, would you consider this something you would share in an interview or will this, for some reason, put me in a bad light? As in, the only reason I took the job I have now is to pay the bills and nothing more and now I'm finally out to get a job that genuinely interests me?
Thanks
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] am in "arrested development": how can I stop being a child and become an emotionally healthy adult?
POST: Basically I don't have a model for successful relationships. My parents are first-gen immigrants who resent the country they came to 20+ yrs ago, and have never tried to make friends or network, even inside the immigrant community. Their relationship with each other is more a habit than compatibility, especially since they are getting old.
I never really made friends throughout school either, people were always nice to me, so no sob-story there. I did have some pals, but never the type of friend I could phone for hours-on-end or tell "everything" to. I always kept telling myself "oh in High school, you'll see things will be different", or "college is gonna be the bomb, you'll meet such different people, get laid etc..". Well, nope. Undergrad was 4 awful years of libraries and ultra-competitive people (terrible programme choice).
I am still in college, and trying to make things right, but I feel time is running out. Most people around me have had long-standing friendships, diverse sexual experiences, and here I am, with nothing to draw from. I feel I'm still waiting to live the childhood I missed (which won't happen). I'm pretty ashamed of "coming from nothing" and it keeps me away from people (I don't want/know how to admit I've never had friends, sex, "experiences"..) since I feel they are "adults" and my company is a step back for them; I have nothing to contribute, in a way. This is not what/where I thought I'd be at 23.
I just don't know how I should go about living these "core" experiences, especially now that I'm an old and being told left and right I should be looking to settle already. Looking around Reddit, it seems relationships are a perpetual shitstorm, but there are days when I really want to shoot the breeze, talk about my day with someone, or get a rough cuddle.
I think I should mention I am trying counselling, but it usually feels like circlejerking; even though I've happy to have someone to talk to, I'm not sure it furthers me IRL..
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [25 F] of 2 years, 1.5 of which have been long distance, just got a new job offer in her current location. Me [23 M] wondering how long do you go in long distance until you call it as over?
POST: We are across the country (USA) from each other, and she has said that she really wants to move out here, but keeps pursuing job opportunities in her current area. It started with a new job she got a few months ago, which pushed her move-out date back, and then she has been talking about a new promotion she is going to be getting at this new job.
It's leading to her asking me to move out there. I would be able to do this, but it would still put us 3 hours of driving distance away from each other. My job requires lots of travel, and business trips that take me away from home for weeks at a time, so any amount of distance becomes a logistical challenge when it comes to spending time together.
I love her, but at what point do I wall myself off because we are wasting each other's time?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Unsupportive SO - how are you guys dealing with it?
POST: Soo, I'm pretty sure these threads are coming in all the time, but I need some advice.
My BF and I are both overweight - it's not affecting our health (yet) but I thought I'd do something about it now (family history of related diseases). I'm doing it alone, since he doesn't want to (and doesn't have to, to be honest - he's a big guy but healthy and fit).
So, now, I try to cook and bring in food that's healthy, but I also bring his favourites; I don't mind cooking for both of us and that he now eats more than twice as much as me, but apparently he does.
He brings (or cooks) me food that I said I wouldn't eat as much anymore (coke, juices, ice-cream, noodles, chocolate... you know the drill) and is pissed if I apologize and decline (or just eat a little bit), tells me I'm going overboard with this all the time (I try not to mention any of it if I don't have to. I exercise alone, I'm not preachy about what's healthy and what isn't).
It's really putting a strain on our relationship an me - 'cause sometimes I fall of the wagon and join him in junk-food-eating, and then everything's good again between us but I'm getting annoyed that I've hat another setback.
I've tried asking him if it somehow annoys him that I'm changing my eating habits (answer: no, eat what you want), assured him that his food was still tasty even if I'd just eat less now, and had him blowing up at me when I declined to eat something that would spoil if I didn't (I offered to just not buy/cook so much next time, but then "It won't be enough")
I'm at my wit's end here, and it would be awesome if you could offer some advice
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need some advice on a next big decision.
POST: Hello, I'm THE_STONE_WHISPER and I'm 17 and I need advice.
The problem is, I failed **ALL** my subjects for my first semester, because frankly I went for engineering because of a lack of knowledge, everyone said it was the best, I could guarantee a job and a safe income, so, and all this happened because I didn't care what would become of my life, and well, after a mental breakdown I realized that after I die there will most likely be nothing, and I could just banish from existance wich is a tought that still frightens me and makes me go cry to a corner, and from there on I decided I would live life for myself, and that I would enjoy it as much as I could.
I recently found my first ever "passion" outside of videogames, wich is Art, drawing and painting mostly, I just started and have no more that 3 months of experience, and I know I will never finish a carrer in something else, I know myself too well, if I dont have that certain something for it, I just wont do it, and drawing is the first thing that has ever made me happy.
And here is the deal, if I stay in this collage I will have to pay about $1200 to pass all subjects, and even then I might fail some and have to pay even more, and it will become a sink of both money and time, or I could just drop, not pay anything, and use that money to start taking clases at an art school, the probem being, if I drop from that collage alot of study oportunities will close to me, as I would be expelled from the only public collage in the area.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[f/23] need an outsiders perspective on my relationship[2yrs] with my boyfriend[m/25] and a female friend[f/21]
POST: Firstly, I apolgoize if this turns into a jumbled mess. It's been a long day and I'm pretty mixed up about the things that are going on.
I have been dating this guy for almost two years, there have been some challenges along the way but overall we have a good relationship and I'm happy with him. Recently it came up that my boyfriend has a tumblr, I had no problems with this and didn't even bother to find out any information on it because he mentioned it being used as a sort of journal that he didn't have any followers on. Yesterday I learned that he has one female friend who he is following and who is following him. This girl I have no problems with, they met because the friend dated a good friend of his for a long time.
The issue I'm having is that this girl is someone who actively post nudes on this tumblr. He has a facebook or as he calls it a "fakebook", that he's come up with a number of excuses to not at me on, but she is there as well. They text often and hang out on a one on one basis. He claims that it's an innocent friendship, that he's not interested in her and only sees her as his friend's girlfriend(they broke up a few months ago) and from other friends opinion it seems that she is just not attracted to him. He says that the issue is that I don't trust him. I do overall, but they're closeness makes me feel uncomfortable. We tried to talk things over last night, but it ended in a arugment.
I don't know what to do and I need some advice. I don't care if they hang out, but if it involves anything that impairs their judgements(they both smoke and drink often) I have an issue and the tumblr thing really bothers me because of how often she post nudes on it. He says that that's just how she's always been and it doesn't mean anything. Opinions please?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Forgein Girlfriend wants me to move to her country. I want to stay here and keep working.
POST: My girlfriend (f/23) has been living with me (m/22) for nearly a year. Her visa expires in two months and she wants me to move back to her country with her.
I currently work a laboring job, 60+ hours a week that exhausts me. I've been saving up to go back to college for two years now. My girlfriend hates my job because of the safety hazards and health effects I've shown. She wants me to quit and either find a job in her home country or live with her on welfare.
We "dated" online for 5 months before we met face to face. I've nearly got enough money to go back to school but moving to her country will set me back more than a year financially. I've tried to convince her that if we can make it through this temporary separation that we can make it through everything, but she's not listening. She says the resulting depression she would have would make her incapable of doing anything, that she NEEDS me there with her.
I recently got severely wounded at work, and she's using this as her "I told you so". Due to the injury I have had second thoughts about my current job but my disire to finish school is much greater. I'm just unsure how to appoach the subject, and convince her that the small separation will work out in the end.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19/M] roommate [18/M] keeps clogging the shower drain
POST: Every time I go to take a shower, I see hair mixed in with some white stuff (not semen, thankfully) on the shower drain.
I know it's not me because he left for a week one time and it didn't happen when I was alone.
I've been picking out the hair myself because I can't shower with a clogged drain but the days I leave the hair there they stay, so either he knows and doesn't care, or doesn't know, which is odd because there is a drastic change in water level during the shower.
I'm leaving in two weeks so I don't want to confront him and there be tension, how can I get the message across that I don't want to keep picking his hair out of the shower drain?
I feel like talking to him about it would be weird because this is usually a girl problem and maybe I'm taking this whole thing out of proportion.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Taking my back my ex (20/F) who is claiming they've changed or moving on with someone new (18/F)
POST: I have an ex who was my best friend up until a week ago, we have been broken up for 7 months but we talk a lot and still spend time together but nothing like we were in a relationship. She's put me through a lot when we were in a relationship but when we were happy, we were amazing and I've never had that and I'm not sure if I can find it again. The thing is she's fucked up with me and used her ex to hurt me on 3 separate occasions and I took her back each time. So giving her a chance now would be the fourth time. I know it sounds stupid but I believe she'll change this time, she's had her ex blocked out of her life for a long time now and the way her and I talked last night, the shit she was saying about changing, it reminded me of how we were when we were happy.
But I've also met someone new, who my ex knows about, and yes I've thought about 'she could only be saying this because I found someone else'. I've only known her for like a week, but we like each other, she's into me a lot and she's been really honest with me about everything, about a guy she used to see and how she's cut him off since meeting me etc. I really appreciate the honesty from her, something I didn't get from my ex. But I don't know if she will make me happy the same way my ex did and I don't know if her and I click like my ex did, because me and my ex clicked straight away.
I really believe my ex will change this time, she's been my best friend and she's been my person for 2 years. I love her more than anything in the world but I don't know if I should give her a fourth chance, because if I say no she isn't going to come back again. But I also don't know if this new girl will be worth losing someone like my ex over.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] stayed the night at my ex's (sort of ex) [23F] lived together for nine months then broke up (room mates turned lovers), where do I stand?
POST: Back ground is this. Me and this girl used to live together and we started to sleep together. There were definitely feelings between us but it ended up moving way to fast, we started fighting and she fell back on we were never official and it was just sex.
6 months later we have started talking again and hung out a few times. We have been really getting along talking on the phonw for hours at a time.
Last night we were at drinks at a mutual friends and we were really clicking flirting lots of touching. We left and ended up back at her place talking flirting more. I wasnt going to try and rush in and mess things up to much so i wasnt or do anything to quick due to our history.
She has then suggested we head to bed. She goes into her room i go to join her as i used to then. She has just said no thats not happening.
I played it cool pretended i wasnt rejected (i totally was cut) laughed it off and slept on the couch.
At the moment im super confused as to what she wants or if i am ultimately friendzoned or something. She is never the kind of girl who is afraid of sex but turns it down if she doesnt want it.
Why question over all is what is going on? where do I stand? Is this slow steps to try and rekindle something? Or am i epicly friendzoned sleeping on her couch.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My boyfriend (21/m) keeps telling me (20/f) that my weight is an issue.
POST: I'm a tall girl, about 5' 9" and weight about 185 pounds. Now, I'm not drowning in rolls, but I am very aware that I'm not in perfect shape and could stand to lose some weight. My genetics however have made that very hard with a slow metabolism and a genetic predisposition to absolutely LOVE food. Anyway, my boyfriend has told me multiple times that my weight is the reason he isn't as attracted to me. He doesn't want to have sex as often as I do and he says that if I lost weight he'd want to have sex with me more often.
Now, he has DE which means he can't finish during sex because he's programmed himself to respond to a grip that's too tight and pace that's too fast. He's told me multiple times that he wants to fix it- the way to fix it is to stop masturbating and just have sex until eventually it all builds up and he's able to finish. This of course is hard, but many people suffering from DE do it. The first time he told me he would stop masturbating, he lied to me for weeks about it. The second time he said he was completely dedicated and even had me block the porn on his computer... except he then found he could watch it on his phone.
We had a huge argument about it where he basically told me to "help him out" by losing weight..and that if I was skinnier he would be able to not watch porn or masturbate and fix the DE. He's also told me that watching porn makes him objectify women and not appreciate real women for what they are.
Now we have a deal that if I show "true effort" to lose weight.. he won't masturbate.
I'm really hurt by everything he said even though I know he was just being honest, which is a good thing. I just don't know how to feel ok about the whole thing. He can't help what he's attracted to, but to me, when I've really cared about and loved people.. I was attracted to them for THEM, they could have been 500 pounds for all I cared..I thought that's how it's supposed to be.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Connecting with a girl I cut out of my life (advice/thoughts from the Ladies).
POST: Hello,
I am a 30 year old male. I have had one true love in my life that I feel so strongly for. I knew her since middle school. As time went, we hung out, became close friends. She lit up my life - a smile and a "hi" were all I needed from her to turn the worst day into a great day. We drifted in High School, then came back in late HS and stayed connected in College. I expressed my feelings, she didnt feel the same. We drifted apart - eventually I cut her out of my life. It was pretty cold turkey - went from hanging out to ignoring her as i couldnt stand seeing her with other guys (dating). At the time, I felt it was the best thing for me but now looking back I do feel bad.
Now, I still think about her. Nobody has ever made me feel the way I did when with her. I have reached the point that I want to try again at her and contact her. I do not believe she is married. It would take some digging for me to find her but believe i could (IE facebook).
My question is, for the ladies, if you had a close friend that cut you out of their life, then tried to re-connect with you 10 years later, would you? Would you believe people change and maybe date them? Would you forgive them? Would you understand what they were going through and understand it? I feel like this girl is the only girl that can bring me happiness and I really want to reconnect with her.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it socially acceptable to tell someone that they stink?
POST: There is a boy at my school who doesn't have many friends and is generally very unpopular. He isn't antisocial and he does try to talk to people, but he smells so unbelievebly bad that people will literally leave a group and walk away when he arrives. He just doesn't understand the concept of hygeine. He comes to school with hair that looks like it's been dipped in grease, and a few months ago we went on a weeklong school trip to Greece during which he didn't shower once. My question is: should I tell him he stinks and try to convince him to start showering daily, or should I keep my nose out of other people's business? It doesn't affect me, as I can just walk away from him like everyone else, but I feel sorry for him because he does try to socialise, but is hindered by his stench.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/M] with my girlfriend [27/F] of 4 months. Her friend/coworker constantly tries to break us up and professes his love for her.
POST: A girl recently moved to town and became coworker of a group of friends of mine (whom I do not work with). Through them, I became introduced to her, and we've been dating exclusively ever since.
Another coworker in this same group of friends (though barely an acquaintance of mine since I really don't know him at all) has grown close to her at work. He is constantly trying to undermine me. Everything I do, he tries to cast in a light as being mean or disrespectful to her, even when it's completely ridiculous to do so. He constantly tells her that she's too good for me and shouldn't be with me.
Recently, no big surprise, he confessed his love for her and begged for her to dump me and date him. She declined because she said she didn't want to date a coworker and that they should just remain friends. They work directly together and also both share the same friends group with me outside of work, so it's not like she can avoid him altogether. Even now weeks later after she told him she just wanted to be friends, he is still constantly trying to undermine everything I do, cast me in a bad light, and weasel his way in to dating her.
I feel like my GF is handling it responsibly, but is there anything I should do as well? To this day, I've never said anything to him, but I really feel like confronting him the next time I see him.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hi East Coast Redditors! I need your help on planning a foliage trip/tour for my mom!!!
POST: Hey Guys!!!
My mom is coming back from Taiwan to stay with me (OC, California) for a few months at the end of July. Due to healthcare issues, she has to reside between here and Taiwan :( This is the first year in a while that we will be spending both her and my birthday so I want to plan something special for her. She has mentioned that she really wants to see fall foliage but I have no idea where to start. She said her dream is to drive on a road where she is surrounded a whole mountain-fuck-load of foliage. Her birthday is 10/31 so it'll be foliage-prime season, no? I searched on le interwebs but thought you guys could help me out better!
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my friend I've known for ~5 years [20F]. I like her, but I'm not sure if I really want to date her
POST: Her and I met from a game about ~5/6 years ago. We still play together, and with our friend groups of course, but we've known each other for a long time now.
*We haven't met in real life*.
She used to date a really close friend of mine and we all got along really well. They broke up due to distance problems (she lives ~40 minutes away and he was going to college), but I'm still friends with both of them, and they're more or less on amicable terms.
Months/a year passes, and I think she actually likes me now. It was pretty obvious because we talked a lot, but another friend also pointed out that she was interested in me at the time. I wasn't interested enough back, so I didn't do anything about it. This was a few years ago so I'm pretty sure she's over this wave of interest.
Right now our conversations and interactions with each other are pretty passive-aggressive, at least that's how I'm interpreting them, and it's pretty exhausting for me. I liked her a while ago, but those feelings went away, and yet I like her again as of now. We definitely have our ups and downs...some days we talk about meeting each other, which is actually very possible but I wasn't up for it a while back (I am now though). Other days our conversations are extremely short with just the filler "hi", "sup", "nm".
The other thing is that as much as I'd like to date her, I don't know if I really want to. I took the year off uni, so although I currently live a medium drive from her, I may soon live a lot farther from her. I'm not really a fan of long distance relationships either.
I'm probably going to talk to her tomorrow about this and let her know. It's becoming a little painful for me.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Everybody has a crazy story for their 21'st, whats yours?(I'll start)
POST: So just as everybody else, we pregame before going to the bar at midnight. We only had a couple beers each, just a bit tipsy (pussy, i know) My friends girlfriend dropped us off and we kicked it off hard. Friends kept buying me shots and personal pitchers. Some randoms also bought me some shots. That night I drank a couple Jager bombs, Jameson, peach vodka and there might be another couple kinds... but i was fucked up. We went to the next bar down the street before heading home.(this is where things got shitty) After deciding to go home, we thought why not walk home... We live about 5 miles away and the only way is to walk on the side of a busy narrow road. So start our trek and my buddy is falling every 10 feet. We're all stumbling a lot, but he is just all over the place. Tripping over everything. We get about.... 500-1000 feet from the bar and me and the tripper start puking. We found a field to lay in and yak. I'm getting the rewind visual effect where your eyes keep going up and resetting back down and up again. (bad analogy) but anyways, we end up falling asleep on the side of the road. Our other friend that wasn't very drunk decided to call the girl that dropped us off and she came to pick us up. Woke up on my 21'st birthday with a giant hangover and wearing all of my clothes except for my pants. Odd..
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [F19] being harassed by [F21x5] and being victim-blamed by Dean of College
POST: I [F19] have been being harassed by a group of five or so girls [F21] at my college for the past 18 months or so. Basically it started because I started dating a guy in their friend group that one of them liked. I had no way of knowing that, and didn't know until after I started dating my boyfriend.
Last semester my boyfriend was abroad and the harassment got worse (I'm talking people banging on the door to my room and calling me a slut and whore through the door, among other things). So I met with one of the Deans of our college (she is also in charge of the Honor Code at our school) and asked for a no contact order (basically a restraining order) to be placed between one of the girls and myself. I struggled with that decision as I did not want to make the harassment worse.
The harassment never stopped, but I had been really sick this semester and had some family crises at home (I was on medical leave for over a month and there was a situation where my mother- a school principal- had been targeting in a serious school shooting threat) so I just met with the Dean to report a violation of the no contact order.
The Dean [F50ish] proceded to tell me that she didn't know if she could do anything about the further harassment because she "can't force people to be nice to others" and because the biggest incident was in February. Additionally she said that I had been harassing the other girls involved- and one such way was that I had filed for the no-contact order (wut?).
Anyway, Reddit, I'm looking for advice on how to handle this- I am being harassed and now being told that I am the harasser (and oh my goodness, I have no fucking clue how that is being spun).
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I [20M] CANNOT get over my ex [19F]
POST: Together since we were 17 (she was 16) she out of nowhere left me last October, she gave me no reason all she said was that she no longer loved me one day. I believe her slutty college fiend instigated her into doing it. We never fought once before this happened. Anyway is had been about 10 months with literally 0 contact and everyday I wake up she's still the first thing I think about in the morning. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare about her with someone else. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I love get and I hate myself because I cont stop, no matter how hard I try to forget or move on, I just can't stop thinking about what I could have done and all that. She's going away to school again soon and I only have a few more days to make first contact again. I don't know if I should though, she's the one that left me, if I go back to her after all this time could it change anything? Or should I just keep on going with 0 contact?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/M] friend of girl who rejected me wanting chill/throw party .... Need help
POST: Background: The girl who I fell for approached me wanting to get close to an acquantance of mine from HS since we all worked together and me and him constantly hung out at work. Long story short she introduced me to drugs and I fell hard... Friend who didn't care about her tbh, was shocked to find out and spent a good 3 months trying to get me to see the truth that she wouldn't ever like me which was proved true once my feelings came out she ran. Stopped texting me completely, wouldn't talk to me at work, just cut off. Got depressed and took time but I'm over it now and am a better person for it.
Current:
Just started getting snapchats from this girl's best friend saying how "we wanna hang out" I'm assuming the girl I fell for is included. They live in a different city and when I used that as an excuse she responded by saying "we could throw a party." I'm unsure of what to do. On one hand I know that untimately my friend would highly disapprove, and I'm not sure what exactly the two girls want from me. On the other I'm still physically attracted to the other girl.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Upstate NY] Roommate leaving drug paraphernalia/personal effects in public area. Can I move them?
POST: Long story short, I have a roommate that keeps selling and smoking weed and has been using the attic as his own sort of personal party room. Every time we've approached him, his explanation is that we can come up to/use the attic anytime, but the room is littered with empty beer bottles, cigarette butts, and weed ashes, not to mention he keeps fucking his girlfriend at random up there. So no, we can't go up there any time.
His lease ended last month and the landlord has been extremely patient in letting him stay longer to find another place due to his lease ending around the time his finals ended. He has financial support from his father and could easily stay with them until he finds a place, but I digress.
I'm also in the process of moving out and historically, the attic is used to store stuff in, with stuff already being in it. Some stuff I'm selling and I can't bring people up there in the condition that it's in. Am I breaking some law by cleaning the attic out and putting any personal effects in a box for him? There was a bit of a confrontation/intervention a couple weeks ago where I told him he needs to start cleaning his shit out of the attic and he starting going on about me moving his stuff being illegal, but this is the same guy that started citing the Constitution when I put my foot in his doorway so he couldn't shut his door in my face. Just doing my due diligence before I do anything.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Worried I [21/F] screwed up a potentially great first date with [21/M]
POST: So I met this guy on OkC and have been chatting for quite a while. After a couple suggestions of meeting, he asked me out for earlier this week. We had coffee and dinner, which was great and very sweet. I really had an awesome time.
Unfortunately I'm really new to the dating scene after having been in a long-term relationship and didn't realize how massive of a no-no it was to talk about exes. I don't think I mentioned my ex all that much, but I definitely referenced him a few times. So I'm kind of worried I totally turned this guy off of dating me.
To be fair, I did stay the night and all that that implies, and when I left the next morning he seemed to want to get together again soon. We're both busy and I know it took forever to plan a first date, but I'm worried it's been four days with no reference to a second. I have no issue asking him out, I just worry I'll be shot down.
Apparently two cardinal sins seem to be talking about exes and having sex on the first date... So Reddit, do you think I have any chance left?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: What should I take out of this message?
POST: My friend and a girl were sleeping together, she was interested in him, he had no intention of dating her. Just before she went away for a few months I felt something towards her. We spent a day together and things went well. When she came back I thought fuck it and asked her out on a date, she declined. Said because of my friend and that she doesn't know where she is at right now, she still wants to be friends though.
After spending a few days together around friends she says I have a lovely soul and apologised for declining. She then asks me where I go rock climbing about a week later and says she went to a specific climbing wall, I replied. She also invites me to hang out with her and some mutual friends later that week. I got the message the day after and explained I was busy. I also asked if she is going climbing this week.
"Nah I didn't get your message. I won't have a phone for a little while. I was waving to you and **** last night but I guess you didn't see :p yeah I'll probably be going to ******** Wednesday"
Turns out she was at the same bar but didn't come and say hello.Not really sure how to approach this. I don't like games so should I just approach this upfront or is she trying to genuinely become a friend?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by sending my girlfriend to the hospital... with my wiener.
POST: Now I know this sounds bad but hear me out on this one. So this morning I woke up to the girlfriend grinding into me, which naturally turned me on. Without getting into unnecessary detail, we proceeded to do the mattress mambo. Everything was going great until right after she orgasmed - her skin suddenly turned pale and she rolled over whimpering and holding her lower abdomen. I tried to figure out what was wrong and all she could tell me was that she felt a stabbing pain in her lower abdomen. Worried and unsure of what to do in the situation, I took her to to the emergency room.
I don't recall what tests were all ran on her, but after several hours of waiting we were given a diagnosis as to what happened. It seems that she had an ovarian cyst roughly the size of a golf ball and as she orgasmed her muscle contractions caused for the cyst to rupture, with the consistent thrusting of my wang being a contributing factor.
Hopefully now that we are educated on the signs and symptoms of ovarian cysts this won't happen again.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] just broke up with my [24 M] bf and have been crying all day. I can't stop thinking about us and how much pain I've caused.
POST: I recently posted on here about how I had been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. We haven't been together very long (less than 3 months) but we spent a lot of time together. Within the past couple of weeks, I've felt like something was 'off' between us. I was avoiding sex, thinking about my ex a lot, getting irritated by little things in our relationship, and even avoiding his messages. I can't say what the concrete reason was for all of this. I just felt like we weren't meshing well together because we were very different people, and the relationship wasn't making me a happier person.
Last night I broke up with him, and it was terrible. He started crying and kept hiding his face so I wouldn't see it. He told me he just wanted to be with me and would've done anything to fix whatever was wrong. He kept saying something must've been wrong with him, even though I said it wasn't. I told him he was perfect--the greatest boyfriend I've ever had--but there was something wrong, we weren't compatible and I needed to be on my own for a while. He didn't understand why, didn't see it coming, and was so upset he threw a glass against the wall as I was leaving.
I thought I would feel a great weight off my shoulders after breaking up, but I just feel miserable. I can't stop crying, thinking about how upset he was. I can't stop thinking about how I caused him so much pain. I feel so guilty for not being able to be there for him. I feel so guilty for breaking his heart. He was so good to me, and I ruined it all.
Part of me wanted to write a long letter to him, apologizing for everything, but I stopped myself. I just don't know where to go from here. I just want him to okay, to be happy, but I can't stop thinking about the look on his face as he was crying. I feel heartbroken, which I didn't expect to feel since I was the one who wanted to break up.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Australian Gambling
POST: Hey guys,
So I have been wondering if this betting agency that I bet with can take any action against me. So pretty much here is my story
- I have been betting with this said betting agency for a couple of months now (it is based in Australia), but I have noticed something with their events that you can bet on, a couple times they have left the betting open when a event has either started or finished, and a couple of times I have placed a bet on an event when it had already started, for example I had placed a bet on a League Of Legends team to win the first map as I saw that they were ahead, and they ended up winning that map, so I won my bet.
**Just to clear up what is happening with the website** For example the start time for an event maybe 6PM, while the event has already started at 2PM and finished before 6PM, therefore the result is already known before hand
So now I am just wondering what legal action can be taken against me, as I have won some money due to the betting not being closed and having an edge and some times I knew the result prior to the match technically starting on the website.
- I spoke to their support chat yesterday and asked them, if they are happy with the bets, the employee said to me that he would check with the bookmakers, he then went on to say that the bets will stand. I then asked him "So does that mean the bets will stand" he went on to say that " at this stage the bets will stand, though they have the right to change the outcome if they feel that the result was known beforehand", I then confirmed with him that if I was to be paid out from the bet, does that mean that the bookmakers were happy with the bets, and he said Yes
Conversation :
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: 21 year old male, money is slowly adding up. What should I do with it? (CAN)
POST: I am a 21 year old male who found a passion for trades during my university years. I was a full time student working for a plumbing company part time. Realized school was going to take me where I did not want to go, and I decided to withdraw and pursue plumbing. Within the last 8 months I have gained over $14 000 in my checking account.
I'm still living with my parents and intend to do so for another couple years until my significant other is finished with school and finds herself a substantial job. I have no expenses other then my phone bill which comes to around $60 a month. My employer recently mentioned that I should get ready for a big summer, expect overtime and a few more hours a week, which is great. The more money the better. I just don't know what to do with it. I am in need of a vehicle, what should I look for, brand new, moderately used, a beater? I am new to all of this. I don't know the first thing about loans, or savings accounts or anything. Any advice would be appreciated, $14 000 may not seem like a hefty fund but when it comes to a 21 year old who wants to buy a new video game every other week, or even stupidly head to the casino one night.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Lawyers of Reddit, help me out with this?
POST: I want to know if I can file harassment charges against someone.
They've repeatedly stopped by my work, after being asked not to come. Unwanted physical advancements, which I've repeatedly denied. I've told her straight away that I didn't want any sort of relationship, and she's continues to physically touch and try to kiss me. (note: i've never even held hands with her. This is not a hit it and quit it scenario.) She's left me at least 100 documented text messages with verbal abuse and slander.
But the most frustrating are messages she continues to leave on my social media channels. I've blocked her from Facebook, Instagram and my cellphone. Then she found my tumblr, and started sending anonymous messages. I called her out on it several times and told her to leave me alone. It continued, so I blocked access to questions on my tumblr. She found another blog I run, and started messaging me there. They are all anonymous, but I know they are from her.
I haven't seen her at my house, though that's not to say she hasn't showed up. She knows what car I drive and we share a few mutual friends, much to my distaste. She's continued this after i've told her over and over again to leave me alone. I'm legitimately concerned that i'm going to wake up to slashed tires one morning, though of course I wouldn't be able to prove that was her, either.
So, what can I do about this? If anything?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever been a jerk to somebody only for them to turn around and do something really nice for you?
POST: Hello Reddit, I had a little bit of an eye opener yesterday. At work we have had some contractors in for a little while to do something. In the course of their work they need access to a room that only we can let them into, kind of annoying and interrupts what you are doing but it isn't their fault that we won't give them access (not my call of course). Anyhow after a couple of weeks I tried to avoid helping them and was just generally being a dick to one of them and hinted that I didn't have time for them.
I was working on a task yesterday and I had no idea where to find something and how I was going to go about finding it, this contractor noticed what I was doing, pointed me in the right direction and even gave me the tools to make the task much easier (I could have done it without the tools he had but it made the job so much quicker and easier). I got chatting to him for a little bit and he gave me some awesome tips that I will take and use for a long time.
After all that I have realized how much of a douche I (and almost all of us) and have been to these guys. In future I am going to be much more supportive to anybody that is in his position and not so selfish to what I need to do, it isn't their choice that they have to come to us to do their job.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: For my cake day, I want information. What time management skills/apps have been good investments of your willpower and attention? What haven't?
POST: When i spent eight weeks stowed away in a naval building (bootcamp--"separations"), i began to track how i spent my hours. I was 17. I was able to locate most of my hours: reading, eating, writing, talking; but i didn't find all of them. There were between 2 and 4 hours periods of my day when i was "loafing" or had exhausted some practice and was not doing it efficiently any longer. So, I took steps. I created a life schedule, and have evolved it out for the last six years. If i was in better company, this documentation would be much more streamlined.
That is where you come in. Below, i have produced the measures i continue to take to find where my time goes, how i might cut out the fat, and how i can attribute better kinds of focus to different hours of my day. Pick at them, laugh at them, disassemble and critique them and give me your perspective on similar attempts.
I want to know if there is a way to get this to work for my life. I know it is important, and i know there is a way to make it work well for me, but i do not want to go it alone if i do not have to. Whatever tutelage (anecdotal or otherwise) you may offer is greatly and warmly welcomed. I thank you and am eager to hear from you!
* A [spreadsheet] in google docs listing how i spent my hours
* An [email] of four interesting links to my father on weekdays
* A [daily post] on facebook about a discussion i would like to hold
* A journal for stories
* A journal for reflections
* A journal for internet thoughts
* Two cigarettes a day, never before noon (A pouch purchased every new moon.)
* A mix cd of 21 track compiled for each season
* [Sun Salutation] every morning
* [Mantras spoken] and created for when thought management gets tough
* Hair cut (buzzed) once every four years (commemoration of separations from NAVY).
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So this really isn't a boyfriend/girlfriend thing but, I didn't know where else to turn...
POST: Ok, so I have a best friend of 3 years that I care about deeply. I've been her shoulder to cry on, and go to guy for the passed 3 years. I've texted her everyday and on days I didn't text her she texted me within those 3 years. Every time I asked her to go places she said no up until last week when I asked her to the movies. Last week I asked her to go to the movies with me today, and she agreed. When I asked her if we were still on for tonight, she said no that she had homework to do and she was sorry (we're both college freshmen). This upset me because she said yes for the first time ever! And then cancels at the last minute. Should I re-evaluate our friendship over this? Do I have a right to be upset? Am I over reacting? Shoot away reddit, I know you won't give me a biased opinion. She's 18 and I'm 19
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my now ex boyfriend [21 M] after 3 years, on 'break' because he wants to be single 'in the future'. HELP
POST: My now- ex boyfriend told me a few weeks ago that he wanted to be single in the future (not now but in the future). We had been dating for 3 years and living together for 6 months.
I asked him to move out and asked for a break because i knew that i could not be in a relationship with someone who does not truely want to be with me anymore. I do know that what we have had the last few months was not a good relationship and did not resemble the other 2 and a bit years of loveliness but it does not make it any easier.
He was my first love. I am honestly scared. The uncertainity is terrifing. I have gone out and meet new guys and that helps to feel 'wanted' or 'desirable' again. But i have never ever felt this pain before. We are meeting up next week to end the 'break' i know i say i want to 'break-up' for good but am just painfully scared.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my gf[25 F] of one year was mad at me because I was on my phone while she was in the hospital
POST: All day I was at work, I got out at 2pm. I didn't have time to go home and rest. I had to pick up her son and her niece from elementary school. Her and her sisters went to eat pretty far and ended up getting stuck in traffic. So she called me if I can do her a big favor. I took them bowling and then to eat until 4:30. I dropped off the kids at the house.
Then the gf said she felt sick and asked me if I can take her to the ER. I said yeah. So I drove a good 30 minutes to take her to her hospital. I guess the gf felt dizzy and her hands were really shaky.
Inside while waiting for the doctor. I was trying to find a way to charge my phone. It was a struggle. Embarrassing to say but I was playing Clash of Clans. It was a close war and I had 30 minutes to attack. I even asked to borrow her phone so I can I switch and try to log in with my CoC account. I was trying for about 15 minutes and just gave up. Her phone wasn't letting me and my phone was still dying and wasn't getting any signal. We ended up losing the war by 6. So my 2nd attack would'nt have made a difference.
She was going to take a pic of me on my phone and post it on instagram to make me look bad but she also had no signal. Am I selfish or inconsiderate for wanting some me time while I was busy all day??
I just wanted 3 minutes to myself but the dumb phones made me stay on them for a bit longer.
I know I should've been holding my gf's hand but she wasn't that sick and was joking with me on the way to the hospital. But I am a good person and after the war was over. I spent the whole time with her and made her feel better.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] think my boyfriend [21M] may have been molested as a child
POST: We met a few months ago on OKC, and even though we've only been together since January, it's the best relationship of my life and I've never fallen for someone so quickly.
Near the beginning of our relationship he mentioned that he lost his virginity at 13, then mumbled something about how "it might have been earlier but he doesn't count that."
It seemed young to me, but I didn't think about it too much at the time, then he brought it up again recently and the gears started to turn. I know he's had kind of a fucked up life, he's pretty depressed and cuts himself frequently. Maybe this is a reason why?
Should I ask if he was molested? How do I bring it up, if at all? I've never talked to anyone about this before, I'm totally clueless.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I a bad person? [16/m]
POST: My current situation is retarded, to put it bluntly. Basically, I'm 16 and there is a girl [16] who I like very much, lets call her Marie. Marie is stupidly clever and gets amazing grades, she doesn't have any interest in boys but she is super attractive and just overall wonderful. Months ago I asked Marie's best friend, Katherine[16], whether Marie was single and basically she worked out I liked Marie and now everyone knows. Marie shows no interest in me, or any boy for that matter, but I'm still nearly on the verge of loving her (tad dramatic but you get my point). My problem is that I really like Marie, but I've hooked up with Katherine twice at parties and know it will happen again, but there is also a third girl called Belle[14]. I know. That is young, but she looks and acts my age, and probably looks older than me. Belle is like my best friend and we watch films a lot, recently we did stuff and this has happened once before, and she won't tell anybody because she knows how I would feel about it (I would be branded as a pedo most likely). I'm honestly confused as of how to proceed with everything. I know I'm stupid, just wanted to know if I was a bad person.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] 7 years, I found out I have a child with my friend [28 F].
POST: So I'll try to add as much detail as possible 4 years ago me and my friend of 10 years (Tess) had a two day long affair.
I confessed to my girlfriend that I had the affair and she forgave me and gave me another chance. even though I didn't deserve it but made memcut contact with tess.
Me and tess agreed it was for the best so we parted after a tearful conversation. Well everything has been good i got a higher paying job new house and car.
And me and my girlfriend are planning on trying for kids in another month. recently my friend\ex-lover contacted me and said she needed to talk to me about something so I went without telling my girlfriend.
When I showed up at hers we cought up and talked and than she told me something. I'm a dad.
She said after our indiscretion she ended up pregnant but did not tell me. So I asked for a DNA test and we got one and I'm the father to little emma.
She looks just like me has the same eye color has tess blonde hair has some of my facial features.
Tess told me she is having trouble supporting her and emma and needs some help. I wouldn't have a problem helping but what about my girlfriend.
If she finds out she'll leave me forever and I can't lose her not now. We are planning for kids and have a great life together logically I know I have to tell her. But the selfish part thinks I could just hide it and take it to the grave.
What should I do?
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[27F] just ended it with [27M] after I found out there was someone else the whole time...
POST: I feel like I'm really just submitting this for support because I just feel like no one can be trusted....this guy played me so good that I feel like he must have been a sociopath....even once convincing me my own brother was telling me lies when he ran into him with another girl out at 4am.
This probably sounds like crap because I'm an anonymous person on reddit but I really strive to be honest and open in all my relationships....I give a lot....I'm compassionate and understanding. I feel like this opens me up to so much hurt. And I just keep getting together with people who turn out to be just terrible and lie to me.
I'm still in shock that this happened...I had no idea he was seeing this other girl (who is obese and unattractive) behind my back....and we spent almost all our time together...I just don't understand it.
Are all people just selfish and horrible? Is there any men out there that are caring and compassionate? I feel completely hopeless.
TL;DR: |
Subsets and Splits