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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [19/m] Amazing friend (19/f) doesn't want to me girlfriend POST: English is not my native language, sorry if i made any mistakes/fucked grammar I fell in love with one of my best friends 5 months ago, but she didn't feel the same. We talk about everything, exs, friends, everything. We're each others goto person. We've only been friends for 7 months, which is surprising to both me and her. Feels like I've know her my entire life. She has some really serious trust issues aswell, due to previous boyfriends, but she completly trusts me. She is very popular, but still prefer to spend time with me. It's really depressing to know that mo matter how much I talk/hang out with her, she just wants to be my friend. We've talked about the situation twice now and she said that she wanted to help fall out of love. She didn't want it to mess with our friendship. She said that if I needed a break from her, or anything, she would support it. She said that if I felt that i needed to do it, she wouldnt stop me. I've really tried not talking or spening time with her, but I just can't get her out of my mind. We got the same social group too, so no matter what I do, I will see her around. Question: What to do now? Fall out of love and still be her friend? Wait for her to change her mind(if she ever will)? Stop talking to her? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [20/m] don't want to be jealous of my girlfriend [20/f] when she parties without me POST: My girlfriend is headed to a party next week which isn't uncommon. I've been to parties with her. It's fun and all, even though I'm not as much of a partier as she is. The problem is that when she parties without me, I get hit with an embarrassing amount of jealousy! I don't know why; I trust her not to cheat and all that. It is a completely irrational feeling and I hate it. We've talked about it before, of course, but that didn't help me very much. She just reassured me that she loves me and she's faithful, yada yada, stuff I already knew. This girl is a dream come true for me. I can not emphasize enough that she's no fling, she's the genuine article, so naturally I don't want to pester her about it every time she goes out. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by making out with friend's gf NSFW POST: My friend and I were hanging out with his girlfriend and a few of her friends, and the suggestion comes up that we all play truth or dare. His GF and I used to be in a relationship, but I broke it off because I was beta as fuck. Well, my best friend's even more of a beta. She was his first kiss and he still hasn't even gotten tongue. Well, it was my turn and I picked dare. I was dared to make out with Beta McGee's girlfriend. Well, I was reluctant because we were really good friends and I didn't want to upset him, but he told me he was cool with it. So we start making out and I start to get into it, I run my hand down her back and unhook her bra strap and I begin to feel her up. She's fine with it and we keep making out and I continue down her back and grab dat ass. I squeeze. My best friend gasps and I stop for a minute and realize that I went too far. He looks like he's about to cry and when I look back at his gf, her cheeks are beet red and she had this wicked grin on her face. I turn around and apologize profusely to my friend while the chicks behind us are smiling and giggling. I felt like such a douchebag. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What is your most impressive fart story? POST: I have a few good stories but the one I'm most proud of was the product of my own ass. So me and my family are on the way back from eating at a Chinese restaurant. I'm only 13 at the time and I'm in the back seat of the family car. My sister, brother, mother and father are all there and it's a bit late at night so it's dark out. I let out this god-awful fart. I do one of those half-grins, knowing that the smell will soon assault the olfactories of everyone in the car. Sure enough it hits my sister first who lets out a high pitched squeal. The cloud soon hits my brother, father and mother who open their respective windows and gasp for fresh air. Receiving insufficient respite from the putrid stench that fills the vehicle, my father does the only thing left for a man in that situation to do: he pulls the car over. At once, everyone exits and breathes in fresh air. Meanwhile, I am absolutely dying laughing. I am laughing so hard I can hardly breathe. Tears are starting to pour down my face and the lack of oxygen is making me lightheaded. After about a minute they get back into the car but only after making me promise not to fart again. This emission has made me a sort of legend in my family. I am very proud. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets TITLE: [Dog] has ringworm, need some help POST: I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but give as much information as needed. My wife and I live overseas. We have 2 dogs and a one year old son. We were recently back in the States for 6 weeks, and our dogs were watched at our apartment. We got an email from the vet saying that one dog was brought in, and they suspected he had ringworm. A culture 5 days later came back positive. We found this all out a few days before arriving back from our summer break. Ringworm is very contagious, and the vet suggested keeping Oliver (the ringworm positive dog) away from Winston, our baby and us. We rescued Oliver and Winston, and they both have some anxiety issues, which would make separating them very difficult for their mental well being. It takes at least 1 month for ringworm to go away, but Oliver isn't declared ringworm negative until 2 monthly cultures come back negative. I actually asked the vet before we left for the States what the skin irritation on Oliver's body was, and they didn't think much of it then. So he has had ringworm for a few months now (no sign of ringworm on Winston). There was not much information online about dogs and ringworm, so I was just hoping to get some advice about: 1. Shielding our baby and other dog from getting ringworm 2. Helping Oliver to recover from ringworm as quickly as possible. Thank you for your suggestions. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [25F] best friend's [27F] husband [30M] is trying to hook up on tinder. He is also my brother. POST: A friend found my brother's tinder page and sent it to me. He said that he is looking for something exciting and is up for anything. He is married to my best friend for five years and they have three kids. I no longer live in the area and getting a hold of him is hard since he screens everyone's calls except for a few good friends. We are not close. I am much closer to his wife. He has PTSD and anger issues and does not deal with confrontation well. I would ask him about it, but I am scared of how he would deal with me asking. I have to tell her. But how?! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, please help me understand the fascination with Star Wars, especially when it's coming from younger people. POST: This is aimed at people 30ish and younger. I'm mid-20s, geeky and in tune with pop culture. I've seen all Star Wars movies multiple times, and enjoyed them. And I understand why it was such a big deal in the 70s and 80s and why older co-workers go on and on about it. The technology was groundbreaking at the time. But I found the story pretty average, acting hollow, characters not at all developed and dialogues lame. So why is it still so big today? There are so many newer movies/TV shows that are as good (if not better) and technologically brilliant which people don't give as much credit to. The Matrix trilogy, Terminator series, LOTR, Jurassic Park and Avatar to name a few. Battlestar Galactica, for heaven's sake. How can someone prefer Star Wars over that? And yet, we still have everyone and their mothers reference Star Wars in every setting to gain some geek credit. Still have multiple Star Wars themed Superbowl commercials every year. Why? So next time you see a friend dress up as Vader or a storm trooper for Halloween, or engage in some princess Leia cosplay, kindly ask them about it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend(19m) recently broke up with me and I(18f) could not feel more great. Am I a terrible/heartless person for not being more upset? POST: Hey everyone! I'm posting this on a throwaway because my boyfriend goes on Reddit and so do some of my friends and I would prefer this not to be seen by them. So a few weeks ago my boyfriend of close to a year, Adam, broke up with me. Yes I was bummed about it for a few days but after that I got over it pretty quickly which I feel isn't normal in some way? Honestly I'm gonna miss the guy and I did love him but for the duration of our relationship he wasn't too supportive all the time, he would look down on certain hopes/dreams of mine (while I did nothing but encourage and support him), would never talk to me about anything that was wrong and all-around was an okay boyfriend (at least for the second half of the relationship). I know I'm making him out to be the worst guy ever but I swear we had some really great times, and there were great aspects to him too. Adam wasn't exactly what you would call "the one" and to be completely honest I'm totally fine with that. When I told some of my friends about how we broke up, they were completely shocked that I wasn't telling them through tears and that I wasn't a wreck after it happened. It makes me feel kinda guilty that I'm not more upset (which sounds crazy I know) but I'm not gonna make myself sad over something that I'm totally fine with, ya feel? We have different goals and we want different things so it just didn't work out and I could not be more okay with the outcome. Is it weird that I'm completely fine with my boyfriend breaking up with me? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [25/M] with my girlfriend [22/F] of 3 and half years , Broke up because she is saying there is no future with us anymore..? POST: Hi everyone! I am 25 years old male, I have been dating my ex girlfriend for over 3 years she is 22 now. We had a good relationship over all... with fights here and there. I have always tried to treat her the best I can.... however the past 6 months or so we started to fight a lot and trust issues from both sides started to create problems... and thats when I believe I started this bad habit of breaking up over every fight... but of course we would get back and she kept saying that I should not break up over fights because everytime I do that it pushes her away further and further....So a month ago she broke up with me for good saying that its been like 6 months are so that she has been feeling like there wont be no future with us anymore. And that we are different and not compatible etc. We have obviously broken up before for like few weeks and got back but this time its different... I have been trying to get her back since a month now talking over phone seeing her in person etc but with no hope at the end... she would obviously tell me how she cared before and she would get emotional and all but she said that she simply just does not want to be in a relationship with me and that she was not happy the past 6 months. I tried convincing her that we can make this work if we both work on it. She obviously admitted that we both weren't perfect and we both made mistakes but she just wants to move on now...So I saw her last night again but I realized its just does not work anymore me trying.. I have been trying for more than a month... with no results..... at this point I dont know what to do... MOve on? leave her alone? hope she will come back...? maybe not? I dont know... Any help please! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Hey Reddit, my mom has been suffering for 4 years with an eye problem, and no doctor has been able to help, do you know any doctors that could? POST: So my mom has had a twitching eye, this has started almost 11 years ago, but has only become a serious annoyance in the last 4 years where it is uncontrollable and affects the entire left side of her face. Not only does it affect her self esteem, but the constant twitching gives her a painful ache in around her eye and face after a few hours. The twitching usually gets worse when she is stressed or upset, and she has changed her lifestyle tremendously to try and be relaxed and stress free. I really want to help her and she keeps asking me to look for doctors in the US or new medicines that might be able to fix this issue. I figured I would try to see if you guys might know anything, or even might know someone that could help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by going to my first visitation. POST: I was there for a total of five minutes. I was only close with about two or three people there, so I knew how to talk to them, but talking to the rest of the family was extremely nerve-wracking. At the visitation there was an open casket and it was the first time I'd ever seen a dead body, which was horrifying. As soon as I saw this man I didn't even know lying in some box, like an empty vessel, I had adrenaline and anxiousness pulsing through my body. My head was still spinning about life, death, and trying to put it all in the perspective of my belief system. Before I could calm down I had to make my way and give my condolences to the family. The first person I had to speak to was the widow. I asked her, "How are you today?" Fuck. She was literally on the verge of tears and couldn't even smile. How the do you think she was feeling, you idiot? She didn't even speak when I asked her. Just nodded politely and mustered a pleasant facial expression. Major face-palm - moved on to the next person as fast as possible. The whole line went on for about seven more people, to whom I had no idea how to talk to. All I can think about is how much I probably upset this woman. She was married to him (from what I overheard) for over 40 years. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (18 F) want my monogomous Boyfriend (18 M) of 3 years to do sweet things for me but he wont, Is it money? How can I get him to? POST: So we just moved away to college, 3000 miles from home and are in the vicinity of NYC. I have an on campus job and make around $200 a month, he does not have a job. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, and we've been through things like this before, bu this time is different. It has been ages since we did anything noce together that he planned. He did prom with me, but only because I told him that I wanted him to plan it, and I didn't want to have any part of it. I left organizing our annaversary (oct 1) to him, but he flaked and I took over about a week before it happened. I have explicitly told him that I want him to do nice things with me, like buy underwear for me, and make me/take me to nice things, but he doesn't do anything, even when I offer to foot the bill. I just miss the cute romantic things we used to do together and he used to do for me. I don't think its a bad sign for our relationship, but I do want to help him get to the right conclusion if I can. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything I can. Is it because he just doesn't want to? or because he can't plan (I'm usually the planner). I will do anything to help him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend posted naked pictures of herself online after we had been dating for a few months and didn't tell me or even show me. Should I be this upset about this? POST: There is a great distinction between the two of us in the realm of sexual activity when we were younger. I'm 21 and she is 20(myself being far less experienced than her i.e. lost my virginity to her; her being with 7+ other guys). Come to find out through her being logged on to her tumblr on my computer that she submitted some half naked pictures(half being the top) to a blog specializing in those kinds of pictures. Didn't bother to tell me that she was doing that, let alone send them to me! Got me quite upset that after all she "promised" me that things like that were between us and that I didn't have to worry, she goes and does this. Am I wrong to feel this way? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [28M] has the same issue with my [24F] living arrangements that every ex has had in the past. POST: Throwaway cause he reddits as well. I (24f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for almost eight months. We have hit a couple minor snags in the relationship but nothing too terribly abnormal for a new couple. We are extremely happy and I see myself marrying him someday. When I was 20, my grandma passed away. When she died, I was given her house, which is completely paid off. At 20 years old, that is a HUGE step. I felt grateful for being given a home. My ex (25m) at the time said he didn't want to live there because it was "in a bad area and didn't want to raise our future family in the ghetto". I do not live in the ghetto, but I live in the south part of town surrounded by elderly people. The other boyfriend's up to my current have said similar things. Tonight, when we were at his parent's house, he made a comment that he did not like my house and that it "was not ideal" and he thought about "having a place to call his own". This immediately broke my heart because I have thought about living here for a long time, at least another 10+ years. He tried to reason with me but I couldn't listen to it because it was something I have heard so much from the past four years. I'm not sure where to go from here. I do see us going farther in the relationship, but I do not know what to do about this at all. I have pretty much shut down since we got home and he has noticed and is wondering why I am upset. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: What can I do to improve chances of finding a girlfriend? 21/M POST: I am 21 years old and I actually have never had a girlfriend. I am NOT desperate and I am willing to wait for the right girl, but I would have hoped for some relationship experience. I am not a virgin however I had one fling that lasted for a few months late last year and early into this year. In high school I didn't talk to a lot of girls because a majority of them were typical of high school girls who cared more about looks rather than personality and plus I focused more on becoming a better musician(I'm a guitar player BTW). My confidence is improving. I have a nice circle of friends some of whom I have known my whole life and others I've gotten to know in recent times. I am a bit awkward at times, but overall a cool person. Today a friend of mine helped me a person that works with a talent agency that would help me get guitar playing jobs whether it be live or for studio recording and I would be getting paid for it. I am going to a community college at the moment. I am a bit shy around girls, but I have improved on this quite a bit in the last few years. I've tried dating websites like POF and Meetme and currently on OkCupid which I'm really close to deleting my account because I send good thoughtful messages to girls linking some common interests and a good majority of the women on there are not even that attractive and they're just as superficial as women that would be a 9 or 10 on scale claiming they want the perfect man and all that other bullshit. I enjoy sports both playing and watching them. My hobbies includes guitar playing(10 years), fishing, and roller hockey. I would really like to know what places I can meet more women and how I can truly improve my chances of getting to know them better and maybe something might happen, but who knows TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by purchasing HuniePop.. POST: Wait no, it's not like that, I can explain. So, this was kind of yesterday, but I only realized it was a fuck up today.. It's my birthday soon, but, because it's on a Monday, I had all my buddies over yesterday. Kicked the parents out, sisters off camping: let's party. So, as you can imagine, non of us were in the best state of mind, so it seemed like a perfect idea to purchase HuniePop. For those of you who don't know, HuniePop is what you would get if Hentai and Bejewled had a baby. Going to be honest, for all the shit it gets, it was a surprisingly good game, we mostly did it for shits and giggles, but I actually quite enjoyed it.. As much as a pervert as it makes me sound. Besides, Tiffany? Hell Ya m9s. Anyways, it wasn't till I woke up today and realized that, oh shit, my steam account is attached to my MOTHER'S email. I can't get a picture, because I'm on mobile, but the picture it sends you in the email isn't really something you want your Mum seeing. Also, just the name doesn't sound that good. Still, a bright side to everything. I am no longer single, Tiffany and I will go build a life together. Like most good things in life, she's only there when I'm gaming, high, or dreaming, but we can make it work. Just because she's not real doesn't mean we can't make things work. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by signing a yearbook (slightly NSFW) POST: It was actually last week. None the less this senior in my math class passed his yearbook around and we all signed it. I signed last and wrote "have a good summer. shout out to Mia Malkova (NSFW) - dannykim15218". Back story, a long time ago i over heard his conversation and he was talking about pornstars so I turned around and asked if he knew Mia Malkova and he was like ayyy and that was our inside joke. so he gets the yearbook back and is reading it then bursts out laughing. the entire class looks at him and he yells "DANNYKIM15218 DID YOU SAY SHOUTOUT TO MIA MALKOVA?!?" the whole class pretty much thinks I'm a pervert. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: half of my heart POST: I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now but i have known her for longer. she has been staying at my place more and more and as far as i could tell the relationship is getting more serious. we are both in our mid to late 20's and marriage hasn't been discussed but is definitely come up in casual conversation. i got her a ring and she views it as a promise ring. a few weeks ago i moved out of my place to a new one and the logical decision is to have her move in. we are both poor college grads and could both use the extra money. so i brought it up a few months ago and she was totally on board. a week or so before the move she tells me that she would like to instead move in with her parents. we have now decided to take a break. she still cares about me and still loves me and told me to worry because everything will be ok in the end. today we were discussing why i can live my life transparently and why its ok she has become, for all intents and purposes, a stranger to me. she responded by telling me to expect the best of her and told me to go listen to "half of my heart" by john mayer. so i have and that song is literally how she feels. i am the type that listens to logic over emotions and views them almost as a weakness, where as she is the opposite. she has gotten herself into a lot of bad places by not listening to her head. she has also had all long term relationships and hasn't ever been without a boy since high school. she has told me that she wants nothing to do with relationships right now both with me or otherwise so im not really worried about there being some one else. is there anyone that can offer up any sort of advice? or anything i can do to help either her or myself through this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated TITLE: [question] Need to rediscover motivation towards school POST: Hey, Not sure if this is the right place (sorry if it's not). I'm currently finishing my last semester of college, I'll be graduating in June. I went directly into post-secondary after High School 6 years ago. I've always been a procrastinator finishing assignments right before they are due. But this last year I have been doing it much more. I feel lethargic towards school work, and I really don't want to spend my time doing it. I'd rather work/socialize/game/watch movies/clean anything to avoid doing my homework. I'm curious to know if anyone has experienced a similar feeling and has any advice? I currently have a paper to write that was due Sunday (I'll be losing part marks for handing it in late) and I could care less yet it's worth a lot. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated TITLE: I'm going to develop a tool for motivation POST: I'm a guy who has lots of free time. I've decided that I'll spend some of this time creating a tool (website, app, software, ... I don't know yet) creating a tool that will help people get motivated. I already have knowledge in programming, so what I need now is to know what to develop. I believe that this is the best place to ask what I should create. Since most of you are motivated, or trying to get motivated, I believe that your input can help me create a tool that can help us all. Why you should give your ideas? It's going to be free, I promise. So, if you could design a tool that would help you get motivated, what would it have? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/self TITLE: I think I missed my chance. POST: I was recently using Chatroulette and eating of cup of noodles when, whoa a cute girl pops on the screen. In this infinite sea of dicks did I finally find a girl? and an attractive girl at that?! Yes. I. Did. and it was great! We laughed, we cried (I lied we just laughed). All that is beside the point though. I'm not expecting anything but I would just like to get to know her a little bit more. If you come by this I had the glasses and the cup of noodles, then the cupid shuffle came on. Ah, well that was embarrassing. I shall go to my corner now.^^^^^^:D TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 1 year, who seems to be uncomfortable with affection. POST: We've been together for a year and it has been great! But she has a problem when I show affection. When I first told that I love her, she didn't reply, no problem at all, she said she had a bad experience with saying it too early. I waited a few months and said it again and she said it back. I was over the moon. The main problem is that she never says 'I love you first'. I feel like I have to coax it out of her. I know that the advice here would be to talk to her, but here's the kicker. She's out travelling and will be for the next 3 months. We can talk on Skype and send messages whenever we can. I just don't know if it's appropriate to have a talk about her discomfort, at me expressing what she means to me while she's away; whether it will just put a downer on her travelling, which is something I definitely don't want to do. It just gets me down when I send a message like 'I miss you' sometimes without reply and ignored. I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable with me expressing myself and/or feel like she fears expressing herself because of the bad experience she had when she said I love you too early to someone else, something I didn't pursue and ask about. Should I talk to her about it? even though she's away and travelling and should be having fun, and not worrying about something like this. Thanks /r/relationships TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [F/21] Facebook account was logged into by my father [M/45], who read all my messages so he basically knows every intimate detail of my life. How do I deal with this without killing myself? POST: I checked my account at my dad's house a few days ago. I felt as though I may not have logged out, but I assumed there would be a degree of respect. As in, he might be a mature adult and log out instead of going through my stuff. So today, I got a message from my friend questioning why i was asking about something from a long time ago. Then i saw that there was a message from me from earlier that day, which i definitely did not send. I know for a fact that it could only be him and that it's something hes capable of. It's clear from the message "I" sent that the sender must have read faaaaaar back in my conversations. This fucking sucks because I've never really felt the need to delete my messages and I have some old, embarrassing shit. Such as: * my ex being abusive and then weirdly romantic * my weak attempts at hitting on people * my even weaker attempts at hitting on people of my own gender * my extensive drug use * sexual things So basically, my relationship with my father is ruined. He fucked up. And now I'm fucked up. How do I deal? What do I say to him? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [17 M] just mutually ended things with the girl I am crazy for [17 F]. She says its fine if I still ask her to Prom, is this a bad idea? POST: Im going to keep this short and simple because I know most of you wont read through it all. I am not really sure where else to post this. Started hooking up with a very good friend for a couple of months. I wanted to get more serious (IE date her) and she didn't. We argued and decided we were on different pages and that we should stop. I had been planning on taking her to prom, I actually have been talking about it since my freshman year. She said that she would still go with me though. I don't think its the greatest idea, I still have some really strong feelings for her that I guess are not mutual. In all honesty if I don't go with her then I probably wont be going at all. I dont know what to do, I feel like if I go with her then its going to make everything worst. But if I dont go then I am going to feel like a loser who cant find anyone to go with. Im so lost and alone, help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [Personal Problems] How do I stop regretting every little thing with my last relationship? And stop obsessing over it? POST: The advice I give to people in this situation is to find a new hobby. And new friends. I'm barely making rent. I might have to pick up a second part time job, and I'm starting part time college this Fall. And I don't have a car. And can't afford one or the insurance and maintenance for it. I can Uber, but would like to avoid doing so unless necessary. As it's expensive. If someone can help me problem solve and figure out how to do something out of my routine, that would help a lot. I'm sure that's the easiest and best way for me to get over this. Outside of that. I fucked up a relationship. A really really good one. So did my ex. We're both to blame. If I just talked, at least 90% of the problems in our relationship would have been fixed. If not all of them. And it's something that is so simple. I do it every day. All the time. I hate how stupid I feel for not communicating. Especially when I'm the kind of person who has always said. "You need to communicate." And it annoyed me to no end that people wouldn't talk to their partners. I became that person. I'm really tired of feeling shitty, and beating myself up over it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend[20 F] of 5 months, she's during crazy exam month, requesting tons of space, reasonable? POST: Hey all, I am currently working about 1 hour away from my girlfriend, who is still in school. I have a car, so I am very mobile. Normally I go back every weekend, and we spend a good deal of time. I know that this is prime socializing time (to hang out with her friends etc.), so I always try to make it easy for her to deny me coming. For example, I always ask if there's any parties/plans, and if she has any, encourage her to go to them. So far, she seems to care for me a great deal, and almost always prefers to hang out with me. But that's changed. Her exam weeks are coming up, and she seems to be very stressed. She's very school focused, so I am giving her alot of space. I reduced my visits to 2 days every two weeks. However, it seems to not be enough, and she has demanded no visits for the next 4 weeks until her exams are over. I requested that perhaps we can have a single two hour date during this 4 weeks time, but she refused to compromise. Now I know I may be pushy, but last week (the first week of these 4 weeks), she went to two parties: a 9 hour one for St. patties, and a 4 hour one at a club. I stated if she really had no time, she would have not been able to go to these parties. She responds that St. Patrick's Day is a unique holiday, and the club party was because her best girlfriend got into a huge fight with her bf and needed to feel better. It's hard to confront her on these two parties because it's easy for me to sound like I'm trying to control her, which I really do not want to. Tell me reddit, am I being controlling or clingy? Or is she being unreasonable with the amount of space she's requesting? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26F] with my Boyfriend [33M] of 1year, afraid to make plans because of past flakiness POST: Hi guys. Been with my man for a year. I love him to death and we're very happy. However, he has had the habit in the past of flaking on our plans last minute, even if they're planned months in advance. Sometimes he cancels for very good reasons, but there have been times he's canceled for reasons I found hard to sympathize with. This has left me a little bruised, and feeling unimportant. We are both very hard workers and desperate for a break. I want to plan a vacation - nothing crazy, just a chance for us to relax. However, the last time I planned a weeklong vacation for us to get away and relax, he decided to take a couple of days - completely disregarding the plans I had so painstakingly arranged, and my desire to spend some quality time together - and go deal with some other responsibilities that he could very well have scheduled for at another time. I brought up how disappointed I was, he said he understood, he was sorry, and left anyway. We worked all of that out after the fact. However, I am now extremely hesitant to plan a vacation for us because of what happened last time. I don't want to feel like I was passed up, or that the work and excitement that I put into planning activities was pointless. How do I get over this, Reddit? I didn't realize I'd be so gun shy after past incidents but here I am, asking you for help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I [27 F] tell my friend's [M 26] girlfriend [F 25] that he's cheating on her? POST: I've been wanting to get some advice on this for a long time. My friend [Brad] who I've been friends with for 15 years, is cheating on his girlfriend [Kate] of 6 years. I'm not that close with her but I do see her often and we have a good time when we hang out. She's such a smart, nice and wonderful girl. I know Brad is cheating on her because he tells our group of friends all the time. He meets girls off of tinder at hotels, brags about unprotected sex and even had sex with one of my other mutual friends who I used to work with (I could not believe it). When his girlfriend is out of town he invites his ex over to hook up with her and he has also admitted this to me. I've asked my other friends if I should go ahead and tell her and everyone has been telling me (1) not to get involved and (2) that she probably already knows (3) she might even tell me to take a hike and then I will end up being an outcast from the group, lastly (4) I was Brad's friend first so my "loyalty" is to him. I thought about writing her an anonymous letter but I have no idea how I would do it. I'm so disgusted by Brad that I have stopped hanging out with our friend group if he is there. I can't even look at him. Whenever he told me about any rendezvous he had I would seriously scold him and tell him that what he's doing is fucked up and he would always say, "I know, I know, I need to stop." So the reason why I'm asking Reddit for help now is because another friend of mine told me yesterday that he is planning on popping the question to Kate and asking her to marry him. I feel the need to tell her even more now. Any advice on how I can do this? I really don't want to hear that I'm a bad person for not telling her so far. I already feel horrible and I'm probably the only one in our friend group who even gives a shit. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I'm (20F) thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend (20M). Extremely conflicted POST: Hi there So as the title says, i'm contemplating about breaking up with my boyfriend. The sole reason for this has to do with school. I haven't been having the best grades the last couple years in college (and ironically, it's since we got together). I'm thinking of doing this so that I can 100% focus on myself and my studies. He seems to have his path set once he graduates, but i'm still a bit shaky with my path. It's not that I have been distracted with him ever since we got together. I think we share a healthy amount of time together and don't necessarily obsess over each other. He has been everything I could ever ask for in a boyfriend and has never made me doubt my relationship with him. I love him to the moon and back and I believe so does he. He has been very supportive of my academics and there when I needed a shoulder to cry on/vent to. I don't know if i'll ever find someone like him if we do end up breaking up, and that terrifies me because this goofy bastard is nothing short of amazing. Reddit, is this a smart idea? I've heard of people making these types of decisions and then later regretting them. Has anyone done this in the past and can share their experience? I'm sort of a wreck right now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: (Relationship) My girlfriend [25F] of almost three years is having a hard time with my [29M] hobbies. POST: Tonight, my girlfriend told me that she gets mad at me when I am engaging in my hobbies. To try to keep this very long story as short as possible, one night a week I interact with a handful of friends for three or four hours at a time. During this time, I am not giving my undivided attention to my girlfriend. She then gets insecure about the lack of attention, and feels like I don't love her during this time. I suspected there might be a problem tonight and went so far as to asking her four different times if I needed to cancel these plans for tonight. She assured me everything would be fine, but sure enough, at the end of the evening there was a huge problem, and that's when the information came out. I love my girlfriend very much. I have tried to include her in my hobbies with my group of friends, but she never winds up interested in the same things I am. She thinks the problem with my hobbies is that she doesn't have any hobbies of her own. I'm really unsure of how to solve this problem. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (25F) want to love my boyfriend (25M) of five years again, but I find it hard to after I cheated and admitted it to him. POST: We had been together for six years. We basically grew up together, and we had seen our worst and best sides. On our 4th year, I started to have an affair with one of his friends, S for about five months. We got caught, and then S ended it. I wanted to spill every details to my boyfriend, but he said that it wasn't necessary, and that he didn't want the details. He just wanted me to be with him and not do it again. I loved him, and I couldn't be anymore grateful that he forgave me. It was a mistake. I figured my boyfriend knew that S and I had sex before, but then he just didn't want confirmation. But then I feel really bad for holding information. I wanted him to know the extent of my evil, I wanted him to know me in my worst. But he wouldn't have it. Since then, I've been trying to be the best girlfriend, but then sometimes my mind trail off to 2 years ago when I was having an affair and I broke down again. My life was basically in shambles because I couldn't deal with the fact that I had cheated on my boyfriend. Was me wanting him to know everything just a way to clear my conscience? Is it better to forcefully tell him or try to endure it until all feelings are gone? He had been really good to me too and never NEVER bring up the affair. He said that it's all in the past. I'm crying everyday and just confused on what to do. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: Overwhelmed with my new job-seeking advice [no upvote] POST: I wasn't sure where to post so I ended up just venting out here. Any advice would be welcome. I was recently hired by an understaffed small business and I don't know how much longer I can stay here. Originally, I was hired to do book keeping and account receivable/payable. I'm ok with that. I'm not ok with taking over project management!!! My boss, who is completely lost and incompetent, expects me to be : * -Accountant * -Receptionist * -Project manager * -Office clerk We have several active projects and there is no follow-up system what so ever. Everything is in my boss's head. He expects me to make sens of the piles of papers/memos/post-its there are on 3 diff. desks not even filed or put in order and make a follow-up of all of it. The last girl he had hired, quit after 2 days because she couldn't take the stress and the work load. I've been here a week, and I can already feel the pressure and stress building up. I don't have experience in that kind of management and I am just starting to learn how to properly make Excel sheets. I've managed to build a sheet to follow-up on orders but my boss doesn't update me when he works on one. How am I suposed to be efficient like this? I made the Excel sheet, now what? I ordered a filing box with folders to start organizing each project, so that the papers don't end up everywhere in the office and eventually lost. But then what!? I can't read minds, I can't deal with customer, supplier, subcontractors etc... I'm willing to study, take a course or use a new program. I just don't know where to start and where to go for help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] with my girlfriend [21F] of two years, have had sex, but she doesn't want to anymore...until marriage. POST: We met in college. She was a virgin, I wasn't. At the beginning of our relationship she asked me: if we didn't have sex till marriage if that would be a big thing? I said no. A week later we had sex. We've been having sex since then, and now she lives with me. However, she's been having a lot of anxiety about us and we've been attending church more frequently now that I graduated. This has somehow led her to tell me that she doesn't want to "live in sin" and that we shouldn't have sex till marriage. I agree with her from the christian point of view. It's just extremely hard to cut out something that you are used to having. It's just like any kind of diet, you are used to drinking coke and eating icecream but now you can't. And you know it's for the better, but it f*cking sucks. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I know that my [21M] roommate/friend [23M] is cheating on his GF [21F] with other Men. POST: They've been dating for well over a year now. I live with BOTH of them plus one more roommate. To put it shortly, I've discovered my friend is bi-curious and is secretly trying to hook up with other men on Craigslist behind our backs. His girlfriend lives with us and she does not know this. As far as I know, my other roommate is not aware, and my bi-curious roomate does NOT know that I know he is experimenting and being unfaithful. WHAT DO I DO REDDIT? I don't want to have an uncomfortable conversation and directly cause a problem in their relationship. BUT, I don't want to do nothing and then watch my friend get away with his infidelity. IMPORTANT: I have no issue with his sexual orientation. I DO have a problem with his infidelity. I can give all the finer details if you redditors ask specfic questions. Just didn't want a huge wall of text. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I've [24M] had a couple of dates with a girl [23F] over the past week, i'm not sure if we want the same things and don't think I can handle the rejection. POST: So i've started seeing a girl I met on an app, and we've had a couple of really fun dates in which we have loads in common and I think we're well suited and i'm completely smitten. We've both come out of long distance relationships (me 3 years, her 6) over the past 6 or so months and she's mentioned that she's unsure she can handle the commitment, and recommended in passing that I go on other dates. The circumstances in which my own relationship disintegrated left me in an incredibly depressed state and I don't know if I can handle the rejection if I try to build something with her. I knew from the outset I shouldn't get attached too quickly but we get on so well i've just been caught up in it. I don't know whether to keep it casual for now, or if I should get some clarity at this early stage to see what page she's on, and if she knew how much I was into her whether this would help or hinder things. I'm happy to keep it casual for now, but am just conscious that we may be on different pages as I am quite keen. Her relationship was incredibly long so I totally understand her misgivings. I'm incredibly grateful for your advice as i'm terrifically unsure of things, especially with myself and don't want to get back into a bad place again. Many thanks, TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What have you overheard lately that pissed you off? POST: I am a senior in high school, and I go to an international school. The average student here has parents who have salaries of 150k up (and that might be just one parent), and many could perfectly fall under the "rich and ignorant teenager" stereotype. Being seniors, we have all just gotten acceptance to universities. I just heard some girls behind me talking about how they were applying for financial aid and scholarships, and this is what they said: "I just got a scholarship for $1000." "Oh really? I could spend that in a single shopping trip, any day!" Laughing "It should be alright though, my application should come back for financial aid anytime now." I'm not high class like them, but I live pretty comfortably myself, and I haven't even bothered to apply for financial aid, knowing that my family could afford it well enough after scholarships. /rant TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Does anybody else like things just because they don't like them? POST: Not totally sure how to explain it, but I usually find myself choosing one thing over another because I don't like it, maybe it's ugly duckling syndrome (which I just made up) but I sort of think of it in a way that I can't really put into words. I will generally grow to like anything over time with frequent exposure, when I was younger for example I liked Pokemon Blue because Red was an ugly colour, and I would generally only like the "flawless" actor/resse/s, but with time I would now choose Red, and I think [Toby Kebbel] is a very handsome looking dude. Does anybody else get this? I imagine these things as being much more mentally stimulating because they're not so "easy to swallow", like [Death Cab for Cutie] where I heard it and it just slid right into my stomach where I promptly digested it and shat it back out without ever really noticing. If it exists, is there a name for it? While I imagine there's parallels between this and whatever the whole "indiescenealternative" stuff that cycles around, it's not like that, I sound biased because I openly hate that whole thing, but in a way that's too intense to actually like it for that reason. I don't really think I'm a masochist either :D TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [24, M], got upset with my boyfriend [27, M] because told me he wanted to go on a trip without me the weekend of my 25th birthday... POST: Together for 3 years. I'm pretty baffled and upset by this... I don't know if I'm overreacting. He already ordered me a really nice present off the internet, and seemed excited for my birthday. Then today he says he wants to go on a trip over my birthday and it's making me reconsider a lot of things. Now he says he's going to be here, but I feel like it's a begrudging oh-god-im-never-going-to-hear-the-end-of-this kind of thing. Am I reading too much into this? My last boyfriend threw an all-out surprise party for my 21st with all my college friends, even though our relationship had been rocky at the time. Not even wanting to be around for my 25th when things are going ok just seems really cold to me... What do you guys think? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [17M] with my Mum [50F] She constantly shouts at me and our family and it's driving us insane, but she won't listen to us or stop. POST: Simple things turn into arguments. Earlier she told us to tidy the kitchen, which we were more than happy to do, but she doesn't ask, she yells and gets angry straight away. I would understand if she asked twice, but it's the first time that she asks she starts yelling. My Dad has MS, so she does a lot and gets tired but the constant shouting and arguments leads me and my brother, sister and dad to lose our temper and start a row. We've all talked and we're sick of it, we really appreciate all she does but this constant shouting and arguing isn't healthy. I feel like I'm angry half the time. We've tried to talk to her but she just tries to guilt trip us (Brings up my Dad and his MS and how hard it is, all the money she spends on us, how hard she works) and starts crying. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 2 years, when is it time to quit? POST: I thought I would never leave a relationship unless he does seriously awful things like hitting me or raping me, because a relationship is hard work, right? We shouldn't give up so easily, right? We need to try to fix things instead of removing it, right? The grass isn't greener on the other side, right? I used to think like that, but now I am starting to change my mind on this matter. There has been a lot of problems lately (irl and in relationship) and at this point I am exhausted from the relationship and I just don't care anymore! I have been reading this subreddit for months and I know that communication is very important. I should communicate with him about our problems and issues that's annoying me, so that we will get 'stronger' in the end. This is my first relationship (first in every sense) so I don't want to give up so easily. I have promised that I'd love him forever and I need to keep my promise! But right now, I just don't care. I don't want to put the effort anymore. I'm done, I'm finished. I don't even hate him that much. Is this a normal feeling after 2 years? Is this love? Originally I wrote down the whole backstory and ALL the issues that I was having with my boyfriend, but I decided to boil it down to one question: How do I know it's time to move on? That it's okay not to put effort anymore and to just give up on the relationship. Thank you! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I was recently just hired for a contract position with a company for marketing and web-design. I quit my old job as a marketing assistant to work for the new job, and now the new company haven't sent the contract and are being very shady. POST: A little background: My old job was a marketing assistant for a company in napa, I live about an hour away from Napa and I'm a full time college student. Needless to say a two hour commute three days a week during college is damn near impossible to maintain. So I found a new job on craigslist and got the position and it was contract based. I was so excited, but now the company told me they would send the contract that night, and now its been 4 days and I haven't seen it yet. I already turned in 2 weeks on Friday. Has anyone gone through something like this before? is this normal for a contract position to have long wait times? If this new place doesn't come through, would it be inappropriate to ask for my job back? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: you cant text message break up! ...or can you? POST: so, my boyfriend (21) text me (22/F) last night to tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. i was so confused. we have been in such a nice place. better than any other relationship i've ever had. i've known for a while that we might not make it past June because he's leaving for the summer and we both didn't want a LDR. but, i mean, that's in June. he definitely threw me for a loop by breaking up so soon. this means i can still run the chance of bumping into him downtown or something and since he doesn't want to see me, it could get awkward. when i told him that he should have talked to me face to face he responded with, "it wouldn't have made a difference." i just don't get it, Reddit. we were doing so well. why did he become so immature about the break up? he claims he doesn't want to see me because he fears he'll hurt me, but by doing this his way, through a text, i feel even more hurt. as if he was too much of a coward to do it face to face or that i didn't mean enough to him to put in the effort. also, i really wish he wouldn't use my feelings as an excuse. i know that when he leaves, he's going to hit up bars and clubs and prob try to get as much action as possible. for some strange reason, him telling me that might have been easier. the fact of the matter is that i miss him like hell, ha, and it has only been a day. so, i guess my question to you is, how many of you have been broken up with through a text? or how many of you have broken up with someone through a text? what's the rationale behind it? should i try to make amends with him(the last final texts i wrote to him were a bit rude)? how should i feel about all of this? should i try contacting him? i don't hate him, i'm just disappointed... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: M34/F34 On my complete inability to have healthy relationships POST: I've just started trying to date again after a long haitus. Met a girl, hit it off, went on a couple dates. Then I realized she is one of two types of women that I always date. darespalat's type A woman is strong, aggressive, smart and unconventional. Type A's are often very punky or alternative. They have strong opinions and are usually somewhat driven. I find these women intensely attractive, but it seems like I always like them more than they like me. They always leave, one way or another. The type B woman is the polar opposite. Sweet, kind, gentle and more conservative women. These are the women that remind me of the signifcant women in my family. They usually find me very attractive. I usually have little to no interest in them at all. In this sense I don't know that I've ever had mutually loving relationship, they are always tilted one way or the other. I like these women, but at the same time I can't help but see them as soft, defenseless and somewhat weak. I feel like I have to protect them from everything. I always leave type B's in the end, and I can already feel my interest waning for no real reason. Is it just about sex? I don't know. I don't really think so. Sex is actually a pretty small part of a relationship. Partners that I have been attracted to and I haven't necessarily been that sexually active, but I always found them sexy. Shouldn't I want someone who is good to me, not someone that "excites" me, whatever that means? Why do I keep dating the same people over and over again? Aren't there any other better options? I just wonder how many others can identify with these feelings. I'm guessing a lot. I'm open to any suggestions, comments or insults you may have. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: If money did not exist, what do you think would happen to the world? Is there a better system? POST: In recent years I've been coming to the conclusion that the whole concept of money is ridiculous. The idea that whole countries could be in debt seems bizarre somehow. I have some understanding of quantitative easing, and why simply printing money can have many negative effects. But ultimately, we invented money and have the power to create more... how can we run out? New money has to be made anyway, if you imagine the amount that is destroyed; set on fire, put in the washer etc. Or maybe just in a forgotten bank account. It adds up, and it's taken out of circulation, and not spent in a shop who in turn pays staff and so on. Taking in to account the increasing population, that means there is even less to go around. I understand that making everyone a billionaire would just mean massive inflation, so a banana cost $100k. But that's part of what I find so frustrating about it... wouldn't we all just be better off if there was no such thing? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: It's her choice, but is it unreasonable? [M19] [F23] [input] POST: Ok, here goes. My fiancée and I are getting married in a few months. We both come from very conservative Christian backgrounds, and although we are still followers of the Christian faith, we have become more liberal in our beliefs than our respective families, and, in this case, a friend. We have been having sex for around six months, and we are not in any way ashamed or regretful. We have chosen to keep this a secret from our families and friends simply to save some headaches and judgment. However, my fiance trusted her maid of honor with this information. They have been best friends for years, and she truly believed she would be understanding. Not supportive, or ok with it, but understanding. She was not. She has been fairly judgmental, and has now said she will not be able to participate as maid of honor in our wedding because she believes our beliefs are wrong, and she feels participating would mean approving of our actions. We don't feel this is true. We feel that her standing up in our wedding is simply her affirming that she wishes for our marriage to be blessed by God. My fiancée thought that, being her best friend, she could trust her with this. But it has been a source of extreme stress. This is the tricky part, though. My fiancée's parents are very close to this friend, and will want to know her reason for dropping out of the wedding. With how conservative her parents are, when they find out we have been having sex they will refuse to pay for the wedding. We would have to have a courthouse wedding, as well as face years of pious, passive aggressive behavior and shaming from our families. We feel that her best friend being willing to risk all of this on our behalf, due to being uncomfortable, is very unreasonable considering the extreme consequences it could have for us. Are we being unreasonable? Or not understanding? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I'm 31m dating a 32f, do I bring up my trust issues with her? POST: I've been dating my gf for a few months now and I'm really starting to get emotionally invested in her. But sometimes I get really stressed out over certain things (ie. she casually jokes about having a side bf or something), or doesn't respond for 2-3hrs after work (last time that happened my ex was cheating on me)..stuff like that. It's a sensitive topic for me because I was cheated on before so even if joking it makes me really uncomfortable. She's a nice girl and logically speaking I don't think she's being unfaithful but emotionally I'm getting paranoid from one rly bad past experience..I also don't want to be naive again. I have no idea how to get past my emotional side and I feel like it's getting worse as I start feeling more for this girl. It's gotten to the point where I'm having lots of stalker-ish thoughts running through my head and I really don't want to go down that road. Is this something I can bring up with her or will it just sound like I don't trust her? Alternatively, how can I deal with and/or get past my own trust issues? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: Considering making a 1500 move.. POST: I am strongly considering making a move back to my great home state on the West Coast, I am currently living in Northwest Arkansas. I have lived here for about 7 years, I moved away from my biological mother and California on a routine Christmas trip, I was 14 years old. I graduated high school with Honors, started community college and burnt myself out. Also in 2012, my stepmother (the only person in my family who loved me unconditonally) was diagnosed with a breast cancer reoccurrence and recently lost her battle. With that being said, I am ready to get out of Arkansas. There really isn't much left for me here and I believe it has served its purpose. I do still have family here, but we are not on good terms at this time. I recently got out of a long-term relationship and I'm itching for a new adventure. My question to all of you is, should I renew my lease and stay here for another year until I save more money... OR Pack my things and head out west? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU- I punched my best friend in the face, breaking his nose POST: (Last night) Three of us were watching a scary movie. A fourth friend came in during the movie but I was really into the movie so I didn't realize. I went pee and when I got back nobody was there.. The fourth friend grabbed my hips to scare me and I immediately turned around and clocked him directly in the face. He fell back and blood was everywhere. My other friends came out and were laughing because it was pretty funny. The boy who I punched stood up covered in blood and his nose was broken (found out later when we were in the hospital). I actually freaked out because I punched my friend and I felt so bad. We went to the hospital and one of the nurses thought it was funny. Anyways I broke my friends nose and spent the night in the hospital because I am a spaz. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 F] with a new hookup [26 M, Army] doesn't understand why I don't want to hear about other women on deployment. POST: I was at a wedding three weeks ago as a bridesmaid, hooked up with the best man. We've known each other vicariously for years, I took his virginity the night of the wedding, and we really hit it off. We're still talking, and his deployment coming up in December came up. He started telling me that all his friends were thinking he'd come back with either a) a wife, or b) every STD known to man, and how he was planning on having a "good time". I acknowledge that he will hook up with other people. I acknowledge there will be other women. I'm not stupid enough to think this is something that will lead to anything. However, I don't talk to him about other guys who want to fuck me. I don't mention other partners, and I don't talk about sex with him to other people. I can't quantify my anger(?) about him talking to me about the other women he plans on being with. I told him that I didn't want to hear about other women, and he asked, "Are you jealous before I'm even there?" I don't think it's jealousy. I just can't place it. Help? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Has Anyone Here Gone Back to School to Learn a Trade After Discovering Their Liberal Arts Degree is Worth Dick in the Working World? POST: I graduated college in '08 with a bachelor's degree in philosophy. I chose not to pursue graduate school because my grades weren't that good and while I had chosen philosophy initially because it was more interesting than anything else, by that time I was sick of it. Also, I had just risen above the level of common peon lv. 1 at my big-box retail job and a career there didn't look so bad. I was actually making okay money - enough to live, if just barely. About a year later my position was eliminated and by that time I was sick of the place anyway, so I took the severance check and split. I got a job in a badass little shop in town, where I still work. I work about thirty-five hours a week for what is essentially minimum wage. After taxes, I bring home less than 11,000 dollars a year. I tried having a second job for a while and finally kind of had a nervous breakdown, and anyway the idea of working a shitload of hours for shitty pay doesn't look like a good plan any more. I'd like to make some money, Reddit. I'd like to receive and honest day's pay for an honest day's work. In light of [this] I've decided it would be a good idea to try to learn a trade. Has anyone else done this? Abandoned a fancy education that was getting you nowhere to learn to install toilets or work on air conditioning units? I'm kind of at the end of my rope here. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: [AZ] Landlord sold me a lease for an apt with a cable hookup, the wiring was a dummy and they won't fix POST: About a week and a half ago I signed a lease for an apartment in this current complex after having toured the complex twice, and I even inspected my actual apartment before signing the lease. Once I signed the lease, they told me to call my local ISP to have my coaxial cable jack activated so my own modem and router would start working. After a few back and forth phone calls over a day or two with the ISP, I eventually followed the wiring through my apartment and noticed that it had actually been cut. Although the wire ended in a coax cable jack in my wall, and was visibly displayed and promised to be working, the wiring did not go anywhere. I called apt management and they told me this was not a problem, that all the ISP had to do was drill new wiring into the apartment. Finally the ISP man came to do just that, but was denied access by management because he couldn't provide 'panduit' or 'conduit' or some kind of paneling that ran on the outside of the house. ISP tells me they have never provided this service, but MANAGEMENT tells me it's in their contract with the ISP. This has now been going on for over a week, and I've been tethered to my phone's hotspot on my gaming desktop, while still paying the ISP for services I am not receiving. Last call recently I was told apartment ownership is looking at getting their own attorneys involved to force the ISP into action. I do not have time for legal proceedings! I feel like I deserve accomodation while this matter is settled, and I shouldn't have to wait weeks for this to be resolved. What can I do? Can I refuse to pay rent, can I report them to an agency? Do I have to pay a lawyer a couple hundred bucks for a fancy letter? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: excuses for spending the night away from home? POST: 32 y/o male, i have a live-in girlfriend (30 y/o), and we've been dating for about two years. at her worst, she gets really insecure and nosy. i end up giving her details about what i'm doing in order to appease her, but i don't feel i should have to. i have an old friend coming into town that she doesn't like/feels insecure about. This girl (30 y/o) is a former FWB, but i've also known her for over 10 years - she's a good friend. There's no reasoning with my GF about it, she will not be cool with us hanging out. i know lying is not ideal, but while i want to keep my GF happy, i also have a right to see my friend and not have to be raked over the coals for it. So help me out redditors: what excuses/reasons do you have for spending the night away from home? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: I'm sure he likes me just i don't want to take a chance. POST: We were both new to the school around the same time so we talked since we were the only new students in our class.We really got along and he would tell me about all the people he didn't like and he doesn't really like any of his current "Friends".Throughout the year he would flirt with by Playing with my hair,Grabbing and touching my hands in the hallway,Touches me as soon as he walks up to me,Will sit up against me,Tries to talk to me a lot,Compliments me even when i look like shit,And i noticed him starring at me real often.But normally i can't even talk to him because he's surrounded by the whores or the guys who go with the whores.He occasionally comes around to me and we talk about a lot of stuff within those 10 minutes we have to ourselves. Many people have said he likes me but i reject it because it makes me feel like shit.I feel like i'm not good enough for him just because he's well known (A lot of people consider him not attractive because of his facial features) and so many girls have dated him.There's also the fact i'm not considered attractive. Last night at our formal dance after cycling through his regular group of "Friends" he came towards me and gave me a hug from behind when i was sitting down, and was asking me questions.He then grabber my hands and walked me to the dance floor from my seat.When we got there he started dancing like an idiot i joked and about him being embarrassing and sat back down.When he walked away from the dance floor after me to my seat he grabbed my hand when he walked by. Sure it might seem like it but i don't want to ask because i got burned before and the burn is still here.I just don't want to get hurt anymore but need grow out of that.I also don't want to ruin my friendship with him because were close. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I tell my boyfriend to lose weight? POST: This is a throwaway. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, we dated all throughout high school. When we got together we both did multiple sports and both were bean poles. 4 years down the road, he has gained some weight. I am 18f, 5'7 and weigh 120, he is 18, 5.8 and weighs 180(?). It really isn't that big of an issue, but I feel like I look and actually am healthier/ more attractive than him. He has a belly and he has a chubby face, and complains about his belly all of the time. He beats himself up about how I'm "too sexy for him" or how he's "like a slug". Obviously I'm trying to be kind and supportive by telling him it isn't that bad, because in reality it isn't, I just wish he wanted to lose weight. He's always been really insecure, so it makes it very difficult to give pointers/send messages about this kind of thing. I look back at pictures from a couple years ago and he was very fit and it makes me miss it. He doesn't ever want to do anything outside, when I would love to go for a walk or even sit outside at a restaurant. When we plan to hang out together, he often wears sweatpants (he used to be very fashionable) while I'm wearing a dress or something nice at least. It isn't affecting our sex life TOO much, but it definitely used to be better. I love him so much and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him, I just want to find a way to coax him back into his old habits. Is it my fault for telling him its not that bad? Does he feel like he doesn't need to try to look good? Thanks for reading. Also thought I should add, a diet won't work. He pretty much hates every food under the sun. Only veggies he likes are corn and broccoli, only fruits he likes are apples, and proteins are steak, nuts, pork and chicken. Doesn't like his food touching either, pasta made with cheese and noodles is his favorite dish... Or BK chicken fries. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by lifting weights in gym class. POST: This fuck up happened about two years ago while I was in high school, but still makes for a funny story that comes up in my life ever so often. I went to a very small high school consisting of roughly 200-250 total throughout all four grades. The gym class I was in had around 15 people in it. This gym class was about an hour and a half of us using the crowded exercise room with a few different kinds of equipment. I was using the weight rack and had just finished doing a couple sets of bench presses. Afterwards I spot my partner and then go to put the weights back on the weight tree. This is where the fuck up happens. Without thinking, I go to slide the weight (45 lbs IIRC) onto the weight tree. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal except I had my knees bent in such a way that my family jewels were in danger. I let the weight go and get my love bits clipped between two weights. I immediately run to the bathroom, panicking. I assess the damage and it appears nothing vital was harmed. But I then have to explain to the gym coach why I need to go to the nurse. This is where the other half of the TIFU happens. I didn't notice my friend, we will call Bobby, witnessed what happened. Keep in mind how small my school was. By the time I got back from the nurse, my friend had manage to tell everybody in the class that I smashed my eggs in a hanky between two weights. By the end of the week, The whole school knew me as the fella with the smashed testicles. (even though they were very safe) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Insurance claim... What do I say to adjuster? POST: I am dealing with a major insurance headache right now. A month ago, all of my camera equipment was stolen from my car. I am an artist and primarily use my equipment for shooting my own artwork. Occasionally I will do volunteer shoots for non-profits, and friends. Sometimes they pay me a little money for helping them out, however, these payments are more like courtesy 'thank you' payments generally amount to a couple hundred bucks. Here's the kicker, I disclosed all of this info to my insurance agent over a year and a half ago. I told him that I didn't mind paying more money, I just needed to make sure that ALL of my equipment was covered should something like this ever happen. We upped the coverage amount on my renter's policy and he told me that everything I had was covered. While describing the incident to the adjuster I told her that I was finishing up a shoot that evening (a volunteer shoot for a non-profit I wasn't getting paid for). She asked me if I've ever received payments for my video work. When I said yes she immediately denied my claim. I went in to my local insurance agent to complain. He basically re-read me my policy, which states that business equipment is not covered, and told me he was sorry for the confusion. However he is making a case for me that all the money I have received in the past for shooting is merely to cover expenses, and that I never make a profit on these shoots. I told him that this isn't necessarily true because expenses on some of these shoots are near nothing, and I still might get a couple hundred bucks. He told me (paraphrase), "Look, this is what your insurance policy says. If you tell them that you only make money to cover expenses, then I think we can get your claim to move through. If not, well they have the info they need to dismiss it." Anyhow, I have another call with a new adjuster tomorrow, and I'm wondering what I say to him/her. Any advice would be most appreciated. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20 M] with my Fiance [20 F] dated for 5 years and engaged for a month, couldn't come to me about her problems about me. POST: About a month ago I proposed to my lovely girl and she said yes. I was so happy! But one night she randomly called frantic saying she was scared of me and would mail the ring back then ignored me for 4 days. Just bam out of the blue. After finally coming around she explained that I was scary and she couldn't talk to me. The thing was, I've never done anything scary to her as in yell, abuse, etc. So I was dumbfounded and hurt, really bad. Well I was curious about her reddit friends that she always talked about but was very discreet about it. I shamelessly Googled her name and a group she talked about - found out it was a subreddit and she talked soooo bad about me and flirted with others. She then eventually started forming a really CLOSE friendship with one of them. My world came crashing down after I read all that. Well I finally said screw it and confronted her and drove two hours to get my ring (she lives in NC). After meeting up with her and letting all my emotions go - we eventually work it out and were happy. WELL I drove back and she called talking about how her so called best friend was mad we got back together. Well I told her to come down so I can say I'm not ready to be engaged and I get the ring and we sleep it off. Well she gets a text from him and stays up a little bit later than me while I'm trying to sleep giggling at his texts about him being paranoid about something stupid she claims. Also I found out that she was wanting to split the month I asked her and in the middle I asked her. Later on down the road we start seeing each other and start to be happy again and I give the ring back PROBLEM: I can't trust her and I still can't forgive and forget and I'm mad all the time when I think about it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 F] with my pregnant cousin [21 F] who's being manipulated and abused by her boyfriend - need help with what to do? POST: I'm not going to get into her backstory because it's not my place, but we'll say that she met a guy (friend of other cousin's) at a family holiday party and got knocked up by him in the span of a month late last year. Turns out this guy is abusive. He has thrown things, broken things (multiple doors, mirrors, photos, other things), hidden in her house waiting for her to come home, hit her, called her names, etc. When my parents (also like parents to her, long story) found out about him abusing her and not leaving her house, they tried intervening. It was short lived, unfortunately. Most recently he stole from her, and I'm pissed off about it. She did file a police report, but not against him, because she couldn't find any evidence of him having done it. Also, I'd promised her thousands of dollars worth of baby clothes/items that my child is done using (but some of which I'll expect to be returned) before it turned out that this guy is a crazy abusive asshole and now, I'm not sure I want to give them to her just to watch him destroy them, because he is very angry about the baby. I don't want it to seem like a gift with strings, I just have no doubt he would try to destroy the seats/swings/etc in anger and I expect to get those things back! She does not listen to anyone, and obviously she's not going to listen to me. I would really just appreciate advice on what to do in this situation, especially if you've been in something like this. She is like a sister to me, so the whole thing is just very upsetting. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 F] with a guy [27 M] I met, what should I think? POST: I met this guy at work and we became close, I felt like I could tell him anything. I asked him for help all the time and he always accepted even though he didn't have to, because he's nice. He felt like a friend to me and I kept telling him he is my brother and that he is family and that his opinion matters. He was OK with all this, never complained... I was going through a lot of family issues that I dealt with and I felt so alone... Later I left the company to get another job, but this guy tried to stay in touch with me... I tried to put him down easy but I never got the courage to tell him off, but he kept messaging me... I think at some point he freaked out on me like he thought I used him (like I was nice to him just so he can help me)... I told him to back off and that need space, and he did, but he tried again later... I didn't want to talk to him so I told him to leave me alone and he did... He didn't bother me after that... I was lying to him all the time the because I didn't know how to handle things, but I'm sure he realized, he's not stupid... I just didn't know how to tell him off... I felt he was too much, but maybe he thinks if he's family we should have worked it out... We tried at first, but change was so slow... I didn't need him anymore... I feel bad, did I use him? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by putting on 2 totally different shoes for a meeting with a customer. POST: So at 5am I woke up to fly to Ireland, having only 4.5 hours sleep, I put my suit on, packed my bag and ran out the house, slipping my shoes on, on the way out. I get to the airport, go through security, board the plane, fall asleep, get off the plane in Dublin, look down and bam, 2 totally different black leather shoes, 1 with laces and 1 without. I literally had no choice but to tell my colleague when he arrived to pick me up. Needless to say he laughed his ass off and called my boss and his to tell them. We go off to Penneys (cheap clothes shop, part of Primark in the UK I think) to get a pair of matching shoes. We get to the customer and my colleague thinks it's hilarious to tell the customer what happened. The customer fortunatly finds it very funny, but I'm there to build a prototype demo unit for them from our products (I don't want to clarify what we sell in case it becomes obvious where I work). I couldn't get anything working for the first hour of the meeting. One of the customers had to go out and buy a replacement part (which fortunatly, it wasnt one of ours that had failed) and luckily we got it working and they were happy with it. However there was this horrendous situation where I was on the verge of turning up, looking a complete idiot in front of a customer who respected me, because I wore 2 different shoes and built a broken demo unit. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [19f] am going on a business trip and leaving my boyfriend [22m] behind. Advice? POST: Next week I am going on a business trip for a whole week and it is the first time my boyfriend and I will be apart for so long. We have been dating for 3-4 years. Its hard leaving my significant other behind because a week is a very long time for us. Also I get anxiety and he keeps me sane and calm, so its gonna suck not having him there with me. I'm also gonna miss the affection and intimacy. I feel like I'll be sad and miserable on this trip, so, Is there anything we could do to make this eaiser on us? Any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/self TITLE: Karma: My Problem With It POST: Simply put, I'm disappointed with the way the karma system is now used. I have been a Redditor for close to two years and it seems that now more than ever comments have become more and more shallow, and a clever meme/culture reference will be showered with upvotes. Anything that penetrates past the surface will be disregarded, and anything that people disagree with will be downvoted. It seems like people are afraid to have a legitimate dialogue. To me, an upvote means "This should be seen by more people", not "This entertained me." We are a tolerant, not an exclusive lolfactory. Some karma farming is just ridiculous, we're not talking about achievement points here. Don't get me wrong, I love a Seinfeld reference as much as the next guy, but let's leave that in /r/pics and maybe /r/trees. I rarely find myself downvoting people, and the only reason I do is if I feel it'd be legitimately hurtful to someone. My message is this: post things that are interesting. Not just entertaining for a couple seconds. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice TITLE: Was my friend's [47M] compliment to my wife [30F] inappropriate? POST: A few nights ago, my wife and I were at the house of some friends (a couple) for a birthday party. We used to be close to these friends, but hadn't seen them in a while since they lived rather far across town. It was a pretty casual party. Most everyone was in jeans and sweaters. In the first few minutes of arriving, the husband of the couple approached us and excitedly commented on how great my wife looked (she is average sized, but had probably lost 15-20 lbs since we'd seen them last). His exact words were along the lines of "You look great! Turn around so I can see you." My wife quickly stammered something about that being an inappropriate thing to ask her and stormed off to the bathroom, to the confusion of my friend and I. She came out a short time later and asked if we could leave. On they way home, I asked her what had upset her. She was surprised I didn't know. She said that his comment for her to "turn around" for him was completely inappropriate and sexist, and meant to objectify her, like what happened to tennis player Eugenie Bouchard a few weeks ago at the Australian Open. I hadn't thought it was creepy at all. I tried to argue that he was just trying to compliment her and she had been a little over-sensitive about it; that the "turn around so I can see you" comment was like what an older relative might say to you if they hadn't seen you in a while (this couple are about 15 years older than us, in their mid-late 40's). Since the incident, she has been furious with me for defending him and says any other women would feel the same way about what he'd said. Was I way off base here? Was what he said inappropriate? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [18M] A more intimate [17F]riend of mine is extremely straightforward but maybe also confused POST: Weve known each other for about three years now and been close for about one and a half. Im back from college for the summer and she's a junior in high school (we are actually a year and a day apart). Basically, this means that there can be nothing too long term, and I plan to move on regardless when I get back to school. We both have a history of depression and some other issues and during high school, we really bonded because of it. She mentioned that she wanted to hang out, and I agreed to the idea and we started to skype. I learned that she hasnt been too well off mentally and she mentioned how she had begun fooling around with some guys lately, and it devolved (or evolved?) into her saying that she is more than slightly interested in doing the same with me. I, on the other hand, am a guy who hasnt even had his first kiss. I'm not ugly, Im not dumb, Im not boring, Im not unconfident, I just... dont know. Haha. Anyway, I really care for her, and believe me, Im extremely excited about this prospect, but Im worried about the consequences of a possible FWB summer fling. Im also worried that her feelings are more motivated by her emotional depravity and not a more genuine attraction (although she had always been very friendly before). I really want to spend time with her and support her mental healing, but can I do that while also letting whatever physical happens happen? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] dating for a year, POST: So we switched colleges together and have been living in an apartment this whole year. For whatever reason he decided to take a year off college and has just been working odd jobs. Rent is just under 400$ each and we've been doing great. Our lease ends in a couple months and he's decided (apparently from 'pressure at home') to move back in with his parents over summer, then move back up here live on campus when school starts. I've given him the option of getting a roommate, which would make rent about half of what it is. Normally, I wouldn't care. Saving money is pretty important at this age. But I just found out that what he actually plans on doing is getting an apartment with his friends over summer (probably for the whole school year) and attend a different college. The rent of this apartment with his friends would be the same amount of rent if we got a roommate. There's nothing wrong with this college. If anything, it's better than the one he'd be attending if he lived with his friends. Should I not feel kind of mad about this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [Non-Romantic] I [26 M] feel like I can't hug my friends anymore. POST: I used to be a very physical person, touching arms when talking with someone, sitting right next to them on a sofa, hugging them when I saw them for the first time every day and then again when we said goodbye. But now I feel like I can't initiate hugs anymore, I can't sit so close without feeling awkward, I can't touch them without being worried I'm implying something romantic. This has been going on for years now, and I'm starting to worry it's because of my relationship with my SO [27 F] (for 7 years) that I feel awkward initiating physical contact with friends. Am I feeling guilty for getting close to other people, worried that physical touching (especially of my female friends) is in some way cheating? It's tearing me up, because deep down I'm still a very physical person and I constantly feel the desire to hug someone, or lay my head on their shoulder, or brush their arm to get their attention. But at the same time I'm worried that these things are and always were subconsciously romantically motivated, and so my desire to keep doing them feels like infidelity. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I am on both sides of the scale about breaking up with my gf. [both 25] POST: I've posted here a few times already but basically I have a wonderful gf who lives with me and my family, we have a puppy that we both love, and never fight. We've been together 3 years and have lived together in some way or another for 1.5yr Recently though I have had this void that I feel has been growing and it feels one sided.. She doesn't even seem to notice. I constantly think about moving on to grow as a person on my own (I'm in mid 20s) and for some reason keep feeling like I want to do it by myself. I am worried about if I do choose to break it off on how to do it. She lived with my family so it would be very awkward for her. We also both have equally contributed to our dogs care and we both love him and I am scared to lose him. I have never broken up with someone but I want to know how to do it as easily as possible, or at least find a way to discuss my feelings before any decisions are made. I constantly am having the urge to be free to talk to whom I choose and how, but obviously when your committed to someone who you care about and love this shouldn't happen but it's starting to. I have gone from having a quick cry to feeling relief regarding my thoughts for a few days and its making it hard to clear up my own feelings.. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Had a one night stand, found out 3 days later he's engaged...do I tell his fiance who I don't know? POST: The title basically says it all. Throwaway account but here's some more detail... Friday night a couple of girls and I [24f] went out to a local bar. This guy [28] approached me and was pursuing me the entire night - we ended up dancing for a bit, made out a little at the bar, then went on a walk. Hit it off some more at his place (lives behind the bar) and upon leaving he came home with me. Mind you, this has been the FIRST time I have EVER brought a guy home...not really relevant but I feel disgusted about it....the last thing I need is someone to judge me for it. ANYWAYS, Monday night (via Facebook) I found out he's engaged (since Dec 26th, 2011)! We live out of the country (been here since January 2012...so he proposed to her RIGHT before he left) from his Fiance so I have never met her or will never run into her...but I feel a responsibility to message her and tell her. If that were me, it would hurt like hell, but I would want to know before I married a cheater and liar. I ended up messaging this guy on facebook telling him that I knew and was disgusted and that he owes it to his Fiance to tell her what happened, and if not I would. He texted me this morning asking if we can meet up and talk. Not sure what he has to say, but we'll see. It amazes me how EASY this was for him though...makes me sick to my stomach. I've been on her side before - being cheated on - and it's awful. I think that's why I feel I have to tell this girl. Most of my friends agree but a few say stay out of it. So reddit, what do you think? Any stories about telling the person or not telling them? How did it end up? Note: If I would have known he was engaged I wouldn't even had THOUGHT about even DANCING with him.... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Relationships I [35 M] may be overreacting to my girlfriend's [27 F] drunken antics. 1 year 3 months. POST: History: I had a bad breakup with my previous long term partner in which she basically used me for a visa ('green card') then cheated on and left me. My current partner is aware of the history and has acted with sensitivity towards this issue. We regularly drink with my group of guy friends and tonight was no different. Bbq, sports on tv and drinking games (she was the only female, which is normal for this group). Tonight she may have imbibed a little more than normal and I was fine with this since I was the one who typically drinks to excess, it's only fair she could let loose. Around 10 pm we had already discussed leaving my friend's and going home, which she agreed to verbally "I'll go wherever you go", sweet. Ten minutes later I'm gathering our backpacks and saying my goodbyes. She's being egged on by a friend to drink more and stay. She begins a another card game while I'm at the door, so I go back to ask her verbally "do you want to go home?" Which she answered with "you go ahead". This is not her typical behaviour. In fact this is the first time she's decided to not head home with me. So I'm out the door and walking home when she phones me 5 minutes later and asks me where I am. According to her, I left without warning and it was a surprise to her. I go back to pick her up and we start arguing. During the argument she says that she'll stay out as late as she wants and drink however much as she wants. This was not her typical behaviour however I'm not sure if it was her talking or the liquor. I respond that I can't accept that in a relationship. She takes it as a signal that I want to break up with her and she goes on a rampage throwing picture frames. Disclaimer: I'm a bad drunk myself. A few times I have verbally abused her (about her English language skills, which I'm actually very proud of when I'm sober) and generally been an asshole. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I (18/F) feel like I love my boyfriend (18/M) more than he loves me. POST: 5 months after he first told me he loved me (after I told him I loved him first), my bf claimed that while he loved me, he didn't know if what he feels is 'love' love, because he's never been in love before. I'm his first relationship; we've been together 11 months. I was okay with that, since he'd never been in a relationship before, and figuring out whether one is in love can be pretty difficult. However, recently (a month after he admitted his uncertainty) he has also stated how he doesn't feel super 'intense' emotions. Generally he's a happy guy, and he considers himself 'anti-angst'. This means when we get into a rare fight, he's not all that torn up about it, while I'm a sobbing mess. I've mistaked this lack of concern for him not really caring about me. According to him, he just doesn't do worry. When I asked him how he felt when I told him I loved him, he said that it was really scary. I asked if he was happy too, and he said yes. However, he admitted that he wasn't incandescently, "eudaimonia-level" happiness. I've written him poems, made him playlists and necklaces, but he hasn't reciprocated those things. He says he mostly focuses on doing activities together rather than doing things for each other separately. Now, I know that I'm quite head-over-heels in love with him. We have good communication and we make each other laugh. Yet I can't help but think that when I say 'I love you', he feels obligated to reply and say 'I love you' without actually meaning it. I'm wondering if I can handle this feeling I have that I care more for him than he does for me. Should I stick it out, and if so is there anything I can do to help him figure out what he feels for me? Obviously I can't 'make' him fall in love, but can I help him clarify his feelings? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [20M] SIL [18F] doesn't properly nurture her toddler son, and no one confronts her. POST: My SIL recently had a son with a loser guy who does not live with us anymore. My Fiancée [21F] and I can't convince her to feed her toddler son nutritious food. Whenever she uses her EBT card, she buys unhealthy snacks as her son's [15 month old] primary diet. When she does feed him "nutritious" food, it's mashed potato's, corn and applesauce. The rest of his diet consists of Oreo's, Pringles, Nutter Butter's and Chocolate milk. Seriously, this is his diet. She, my SIL, weighs close to 300 lbs, and I am sure she buys this stuff because that is what her palette is accustomed to. I don't think she is being malicious, I just think she is oblivious to nutrition. She won't take anyone's advice, and gets very defensive if anyone mentions how unhealthy her son's diet is. What can we do to help out my nephew? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with boyfriend [23M] of 14months, how to know when they are the one? POST: My bf and I have had an amazing, loving relationship for over a year. However, we haven't said I love you even though we do make tentative plans for the future. He says that he's "almost there" regarding the I love you thing, since he takes it more seriously than just an infatuation-based feeling. Should I have known by now whether or not he's someone I want to make a long term commitment to? Should he know? Should we be able to tell each other we love each other? Neither of us are big on verbal affection - he rarely says a thing, and I say affectionate things sometimes. (He is much more an actions person than a words person - and I know through his actions how much he cares about me.) He's rather spontaneous and a bit of a last-minute planner. I am not; I like to know where things stand. Am I freaking out over nothing? Will time reveal all? Am I just having pointless anxiety and over-worrying? Help appreciated. Thanks TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [29 M] caught my [25 F] girlfriend sexting another guy POST: I recently discovered my girlfriend sexting (naked pictures and suggestive texts) to another guy. My girlfriend and I have been dating for seven wonderful months. I LOVE this girl. Things started off hot and heavy and haven't stopped since. My friends love her. My family loves her. She goes above and beyond at every instance possible. We've talked about moving in together, marriage, future etc. In short, its very serious. My girl has some baggage though. In her teens she had an eating disorder, which she is still struggling with. She has anxiety and self esteem issues as well. I've done everything I can to reassure her that she is beautiful the way she is and that I love her no matter what. Recently she gave me her phone to put in my wifi password at my apartment while she went to the bathroom. After putting in the password, something told me to just take a glance at her messages. Predictably, I was on top, a girl friend was below and then I saw a name I wasn't familiar with. Out of curiosity I decided to check it out. It seemed over a period of months, she sparingly sent naked pictures of herself to this guy. I confronted her after she exited the bathroom and she was in shock. She had no idea what to do. I calmly gathered her things and told her to leave. She explained that she was "just flirting" and that she didn't act on those messages etc. At the time we worked different shifts so I didn't see her often during the week but we spend every waking moment together on the weekend. My friends surprisingly advised me to give her another shot if she can prove that she will stop what she is doing and seek out help. My family has advised me to make a clean break and move on. I know that her mental history probably had something to do with this because I genuinely believe that she cares about me deeply. I honestly don't know how to proceed. I LOVE this girl. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (27M) friends [26M] wife [27F] appears to be verbally abusive, unsure how to proceed. POST: My best buds wife, who is also my friend, quite regularly seems to be verbally abusive towards him, and occasionally seems to be a bit quick to anger with the kids (8M & 5F). She will snap or yell, with generic name calling, at my her husband over what seems to me to be nothing of significance. Such as board games, casual conversation, spilled drinks etc I would like to spark a conversation with my friend over the way his wife treats him, but I feel conflicted with fear of losing a friend/friends over my initiation of the discussion. If I was closer friends with the wife in this situation, and her husband treated her, the same way she treats him, I feel I would most certainly reach out to her about it. I feel conflicted because of gender roles. Any advice for this situation? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: Can you describe yourself? Because I can't. POST: I've come to the realization that after approximately 0% success rate with online dating that I really don't have a solid idea as to who I am. I mean sure, I can describe the things I like and don't like but those don't make up me, they're just small, tangential parts. I've never really been able to figure out just what exactly the type of person I am. I've always found it difficult to describe this problem of mine. Everyone I know seems to have something about them that stands out, something that makes them interesting and unique whether it be a skill or a personality trait or whatever. I can describe these people with a few accurate words, but I can't do that with myself and I'm not sure if I should be bothered by that or not. I feel like I'm just the sum of personality traits I've adopted from everyone around me rather than actually being my own person. I figured if I'm ever going to be successful in finding the right person, I need to figure out myself first. Unfortunately for the most part, I can't really say anything truly positive about myself or anything that make me stand out. It doesn't help that, for a long time, I've been in this weird limbo state of self-confidence. One day I'm brimming with self-assurance and knowing that I have loving friends and family, that I will find the right girl if I just wait a bit and keep trying every now and then. The next day I'm crying at how horrible of a person I am regardless of whether it's true or not. That no person could ever love this self-loathing heap of shit that is me and that I can't ever tell anyone my problems. I wouldn't call myself bipolar, most of the time I'm in between those two states and emotionally stable, even though these things bother me on a fairly regular basis. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Hey Reddit, I need help getting a store to reimburse me for points on a loyalty card...that someone else spent POST: Hi reddit, I had about $85 worth of points accumulated on Shoppers' Optimum card (loyalty program for Shopper's Drug Mart). I don't know/remember how long or how much spending it took to accumulate it, but approximately a year. Then, after saving all that, I lost the card. I told the employees of the store I frequent, who told me to call their loyalty/customer service dept. After being on hold several times (for over 20 minutes at a time), I decided to email them. They emailed back a few days later, saying someone had spent the points, and there was nothing they could do. In terms of timeline: the card was lost 2 weeks ago; and they told me today to basically "get lost, kid". Any ideas on how to get them to give me back the points, even though someone else already spent them? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: How do I plan a diet with <20% of the calories from fat? POST: My husband was informed today that his triglycerides are over 1,400 mg/dl when the healthy amount is considered to be 150 mg/dl. Aside from being about 20 lbs. over ideal weight, he is generally healthy. The doctor advised him begin a low fat diet, AKA no more than 20% of his daily calories from fat, and wants to put him on medication. I really want to avoid the medication because I believe many health concerns, this one included, can be improved by diet and exercise. The problem is that we don't know how to plan and execute a low fat diet. There is soo much information out there on what is good for your heart that I don't know what to believe. Does anyone know of a good resource for very low-fat-diet meal planning? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: he beat the shit out of me, me (29) bf (27) POST: he beat the shit out of me and now he says he doesn't want me anymore after a year of being together. He claims it was my fault that I made him so mad and refuse to leave his place after he told me to leave. He continually slapped punched pushed and dragged me across the floor. Now all I feel is the pain of him leaving me. I love him so much. I just cant believe the monster that he has become and now he is leaving me. How do I deal with the pain of betrayal Reddit? How do I connivence myself beating me wasnt my fault as he says. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU By going blind on vacation POST: This happened a few weeks ago on summer vacation. I had cheap Wal-Mart glasses, so this was bound to happen. Get to the hotel and take them off, as I was setting them on the table the lens break. Fuck. Vacation was a water park so not that bad, or so I thought. The water slides all had personal set of rules and to ride them you had to follow them. Problem is I'm nearsighted and the signs were pretty far away. Had to ask someone to READ me (a 16 y/o) all the rules EVERY time I went down a slide. The conversations basically went like this- "Excuse me, can you read me the rules I can't see them" (even though they were 10 feet away) everytime it was so cringy. Thankfully nobody rejected to read me the rules like I was a kindergartener. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22M] with my GF [22F] of 10 months. She brought up a sex story and thought I was the man in the story. I wasn't. Red flag or no? POST: Me and my girlfriend are currently in a long distance relationship for the summer. We're only really able to see each other every couple weeks for now. A couple days before a planned visit, we were talking about how horny we were. Of course, this turned into a conversation on all the things we wanted to do to each other. We weren't going to have the most privacy at her house for the weekend, so I brought up the possibility of car sex. I jokingly said something along the lines of "We should totally do it, since we haven't yet." She replied "But we have?" I said "You're right, I guess you did give me road head a while ago." She then said "Well, yeah. But what about that time in the parking lot?" I responded "What time?" She continued "In the parking lot behind 7/11? You don't remember? It was a lot of fun.." I have never done anything like this with her. So I responded "I think you're remembering the wrong person." She said "OMG! This is so awkward. I don't know how I made that mistake. I'm so sorry!!!" Not really sure what to make of this. I'm 99% sure she wouldn't cheat on me (various experiences we've gone through). But at the same time, it kind of stings. Thoughts? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [24M] found out my GF[20F] of 20 months, cheated on her previous BF POST: I found out from a mutual friend she cheated on her previous bf about a month after she turned 18. They were dating for a month and a half. He went off the radar for 3 weeks and kept bailing on her (drug use) so she cheated on him with another man. I have no reason to suspect she has cheated on me, however I have an anxiety and keep hearing "once a cheater always a cheater". I can't seem to shake this and have been developing trust issues due to this. I guess I'm just looking for advice or reassurance. What would you guys do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [35F] don't watch anime. So my BF[35 M] of 1 year doesn't want me to go to the anime convention with him. POST: I've watched anime three or four times when he suggested it. The last time the video stopped in the middle and it was late so I told him about that and went to bed. The next day he brings up anime again and I asked him if it was important to him that I watch anime. He said it was important but that I shouldn't bother because I wasn't interested and kept blowing him off when he suggested it. Then he said we can't go to the anime convention together because he doesn't want to go with someone who won't know what's going on. I told him I like conventions and I want to go with him but he says no. I told him I would go anyway and wave if I saw him but I'd rather go with him. I've tried to watch anime because he seems to want me to but I'm more into science fiction. At this point I don't feel like watching it anymore. I would watch it with him but I don't feel like watching it by myself. I feel like my boyfriend acts like it's some kind of a dealbreaker though. I'm trying to figure out how to talk to him some more about it but I don't know if I should. I'm just mad because I like to do stuff together but I don't know if I should just chalk this up as some of his alone time. So I don't want to talk about it anymore if it's just going to be nagging and taking away from his alone time. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit- What is the guiltiest fap you have ever had? [NSFW] POST: In other words, what Fap made you feel the guiltiest/awkwardest after wards? I'll start, one time I was on vacation in California and I hadn't fapped in over 3 1/2 weeks. My mind was filled by all these weird desires. My hotel was on the 14th floor of the building and the rooms next to me were empty. So yes, I fapped on the balcony. About midway through I got this weird idea to finish through the railing and have it rain jizz on the ground below (don't ask why). So I did and it was a huge load. Little did I know that my room sat above a sidewalk. After finishing and cleaning up I got the munchies and decide to head down to the lobby to get a snack, and at the front desk there is a 20 something couple who were talking about how this bird to a massive dump on their heads and that they wanted to get the their room to clean up. I had the biggest "Oh fuck" moment of my life. I still feel bad about it to this day. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [18F] of 2 years won't delete an app I don't like. POST: Before you jump to conclusions, hear the story. For the longest time, my girlfriend had this app that basically lets you anonymously talk about people from the school you go to. It's basically a drama outlet. A few months ago, someone started posting about her, saying "I really live X" "I am working up the nerve to tell X how I feel." "What should I do about my feelings towards X?" Shortly after, my girlfriend anonymously replied "just tell her" because she wanted to know who it was (this person had been doing it for months.) It made me very uncomfortable for obvious reasons. I asked her to delete the app, and she did. A week later, however, I found out she had redownloaded it behind my back, but she had a convincing story as to why. She never downloaded it since. Eventually, she told me that her best friend (a girl) was the one behind it all just to mess with her jokingly (though I could never confirm this story.) Now she wants to get the app again. I don't want her to, and she is very upset. I know, it seems stupid to not allow your S/O to have an app, but at this point, it became about principle to me. My S/O had me delete a bunch of girls she didn't like off my FB and went through my phone looking for apps that were linked to cheating (I didn't have any of them.) So, to me, what's being vocalized here is "your feelings come before what I want" or even "this app is more important than you being uncomfortable about something." What's worse is she is very upset about it. Every time she leaves for work, she always says "I love you too" back to me, but today she didn't, and she huffed and puffed the entire time about it on the way out. Am I wrong for being so upset over an app, or is she wrong for putting the app before my feelings? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: 40f 26m admittedly twisted relationship ending & can't handle it POST: I have been in a crazy "relationship " with s much younger man for 5 yrs. I am 40 he is 26. It started out kind of brother/sister thing & has changed several times. We were very close at one time ...where I felt that he cared for me ...but now its more one sided where he uses me & I let him just to have him in my life. He is manipulative & slightly abusive but also the most fun I've ever had. I wanted it to stay close & platonic but he occasionally forces sex ...which he says is terrible with me...&is no longer friendly or affectionate at all. I try to take care of him on every way... I don't comment on his many females....he's been with over 200 women...& there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him but I am constantly anxious & depressed because nothing I do makes him happy. This makes him even more disgusted with me ...which of course makes me even crazier. I don't know how I became such a pathetic masochistic nutjob but I wouldn't even care if I could have him. Problem is he recently met a girl he likes....is actually dating her & has never done that before...he wouldn't even be exclusive with his child's mother...the only woman he says he ever loved ..... so all that rambling just to ask for help in moving on because hes done with me TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Why don't we have a tab to sort threads by those with the most daily comments? POST: There are a lot of great threads and great conversations that never see the light of day by 90% of Reddit because they simply aren't voted high enough. I could be wrong, but I suspect most people are upvoting on the quality of the link or post and not or rarely on the quality of the converstion. I don't know about you guys, but the discussion here is my favorite part of the site. If we had a tab up with Hot, New and Controversial, something like What's Buzzing, for threads with lively discussion based on comment count, it'd be easy for everyone to find these great threads. I think it'd be a great add to the site. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: A confusing situation with friend and friends girlfriend and me. Completely Baffled as to what to do. POST: Here is the situation. I have known this guy, for about a year now. And I have never met his girlfriend. A few hours ago he dropped a bombshell, in a few texts, on me that four months ago he created an account on some messenger to talk to his girlfriend as me to see her reaction if "I" flirted with her. This has been going on for four months and he is only telling me because now she wants to meet and do some other things with the both of us. Being a 20m, I can see both pros and cons of the situation. But the problem is the morality. He has literally been lying to his Girlfriend and masquerading as me for a while and now wants me to play along so she does not dump him. They have been together for four years and I don't want to break that up either. This should be a straight forward situation, I should go and tell his girlfriend immediately. But...... As I said I'm completely baffled. Please any advice you can give will be great. Thank you. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [20F] Boyfriend [20M] let his female friend [20F] sleep over after I asked him not to. POST: Throwaway because my boyfriend knows my reddit account and he reads my posts occassionally. We have been together for a little over a year. This weekend one of my boyfriend's friends from high school, Emily, came down to visit our college with a group of her friends. This was my first time meeting her, she seems really nice, and she has a long distance boyfriend of around three years. Last night started out with me studying at the library until about 10pm because I have an exam next week. Emily came in during the afternoon and has been spending time with my boyfriend and some of their other high school friends. After I got enough work done, I joined Emily and bf and we went out to bf's frat last night. She was supposed to spend last night at a hotel with her friends, but instead she ended up staying with my boyfriend and I at his frat until around 3 am. Upon leaving his frat, I went back to my apartment because I had work this morning and he went back to his apartment with Emily so they could continue to catch up. I was fine with this because my boyfriend assured me she would not sleep over because I told him that it made me uncomfortable. He said something to the effect of "I love you and would never cheat on you." He says that they were chatting and it got really late and they both ended up really tired so he tried to be a nice guy and he let her stay over. She slept in his bed, and he slept on the couch. I feel extremely disrespected because he allowed her to spend the night even though I told him it made me uncomfortable beforehand, and doubly so because he allowed another woman to sleep in his bed and I think that's extremely inappropriate. I don't think he would cheat on me and she and I got along really well while all of us were hanging out. My boyfriend says he was just trying to be a nice guy and not inconvenience his friend, but this makes me feel even worse because that means convenience for her was put above my feelings which I don't think were unreasonable. What do I do reddit? My boyfriend thinks I'm being unfair to him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my new dates [25 F], amazing start is slowing down POST: Hi there, i have an interesting story and would like your advice. Some background. I recently started dating again and ran into a unlikely person on Tinder. Within three days of trying out the App, I (28/m) matched with a woman (25/f) that graduated with a degree from the same college I did. We actually worked on the same research project in a up and coming neuroscience program (though we never met because I graduated). Needless to say we hit it off very well. Here is a list of our first dates: went to dinner (date 1), dinner and play (date 2), she cooked dinner at her house (date 3). Every time we talked throughout dinner without any awkwardness. Affectionate with each other and nothing but good times. Date 4, a Saturday afternoon, I went to her house and made dinner for us and we watched netflix until about 10pm and she told me she was going to bed and kicked me out. We had made out a little bit but I wasn't trying for sex or anything like it. We left with kisses and I thought it was odd but I thought slower could be better (not how i usually start relationships). So, we didn't talk as much last week but we got together for a lunch on Wed and talked about getting together on Sunday because we each had plans most evenings. I didn't text her too much because I didn't want to see needy or anything so on Sunday morning I messaged her with small talk and asked about getting together. Well, she told me she was going to the Science Museum... and that rings going on a date to me. I told her "alright, have fun" and left it at that. I don't really want to push anything but feel with a start like that she wouldn't be still dating other people? I know she is active on Tinder because of the time stamp stuff but who knows what that means. Anyways, anyone have any suggestions as to what to do? I am thinking about messaging her tomorrow with small talk and asking if she wants to get together again another time. Would I be out of line asking what her intentions are or would I just look needy or something? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18 M] and [18 F] really like each other, get along great, and have all the same interests, but she's scared of relationships/commitments. POST: [18 F] and I [18 M] have known each other for about 4 months and I've always kind of liked her. About a month ago we began spending a lot of time together. We have the same opinions on most topics, have a lot of common interests, and we generally live our lives the same way. A few days ago I told her how I felt and she felt the same way. The problem is that she is scared of getting into a relationship because her previous relationships all ended badly. I tried to talk to her about it, but she feels like we'll end up miserable and end on bad terms. I can honestly picture us together for a really long time. All of our mutual friends think that we would be great together. Hell, a lot of people thought we were already dating. I don't know what to do here. Should I try to pursue a relationship or just let it go? If I should continue to try, what should I do? I'm having a really tough time with this. I've been turned down before because the girl didn't feel the same way, but she actually likes me so the fact that this is so difficult is making my head spin. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [20 F] have the information to possibly end a 3 year relationship of one of my best friends [20 F] and good friend [21 M] POST: For some context, both of these two have been in a 3 year relationship, and are both good friends. The girl is one of my best friends. Recently, she has been telling me that things are very rocky. Some days she will tell me she wants to end the relationship, due to them constantly arguing, complaining, etc. I was contacted by the girl, and she asked me if her boyfriend had done any questionable activity at a party I threw a few weeks ago. I initially lied, however he had his vape at the party. She/they are a pretty religious couple, and she does not know he vapes. Her finding that out would be detrimental to their relationship. From what I judge of the situation, if I was to tell her that, they would break up. If I was to do that, I would feel incredibly guilty as I would end a 3 year relationship. They have plans to marry, and he already has a ring, however he never talks about it, and I still expect they would break it off if I tell her. Not only would I feel guilty, I would surely lose a friendship from the guy, and have many mutual friends, where he usually hangs out. So that would be rough, and I know he wouldn't understand. And she would be sad, however I know that she would be grateful that I told her, and would rather know than to not know. I honestly don't see a positive outcome to this situation other than telling her the truth. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: (20m) snooped and found something, don't know how to move forward POST: So, as the title says, I snooped and found out my girlfriend (21f) gave a guy her number and she refuses to acknowledge it. So, my girlfriend asked me to check for a confirmation email on her laptop. As I opened it, she was already on an email, so, being the douche bag that I am, I skimmed it to check what it was and it was a personal email to (I'm assuming) one of her friends. "Number" caught my eye so I read the sentence, turns out that back in November while she was working someone invited her to a party and asked her for her number and she gave it to him, which is the third time this has happened according to the sentence. I found the confirmation email and did what she asked me to, then when she got home we were getting ready for a movie and I asked her if she's given her number to anyone since we've been together (over a year now) and she said "No why would I do that?" So here I am, I don't know what to do. I'm a dick for snooping through the email but I found something very sketch in my book and I feel like I'm now justified in reading the email. Any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 F] with boyfriend [27 M] of 6 months. We only see each other 1-2 times a week. Is he still into me? POST: My boyfriend (27) and I (26) met 8 months ago during a short course we were taking together. We started dating 6 months ago. We saw lots of each other during the course because we had the same classes. After the course ended we began hanging out maybe once or twice a week on average, usually once in the middle of the week and once on the weekend. He says that I'm his first real girlfriend, so I believe he is used to being pretty independent and doing his own thing. I have no problem with this. I got out of a long relationship just 18 months ago so I'm not looking to move in with him or spend ever day with him by any means. I enjoy my own independence and have a separate group of friends that I catch up with regularly. I am a little concerned, however, that we still only see each other 1-2 times a week 6 months in. And we don't really text each other much in between times. We can go days without any communication. We are both really busy and I'm not suspicious of infidelity or anything. He regularly initiates contact, so its not like its just me always going to him. He appears to be pretty keen when I do see him. But in truth I would like to see him more, or even if I can't see him more, I'd like to have more regular contact. I guess I'm just scared of appearing too clingy, so I haven't asked him. He seems like he is happy with the amount of contact as it is. I'm also afraid that if I try to push for more contact we might end up getting sick of each other. Is it normal to only see someone 1-2 times a week after six months? And go days without contact? Or am I worrying over nothing? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Not sure how I [18M] should interact with her [16F] after breakup. POST: So last night, over text, we ended it. Well, more like she did. I said it felt like I liked her more than she liked me. She said there were times she really didn't like me, and times she did, but that I don't deserve to be with someone whose feelings are changing like that. She was going to let it be, but I pressed the issue of whether or not she wanted to keep dating. I got my answer. I missed school today for a doctor appointment. I am sure we will text a bit more tonight. Tomorrow will be the first time I see her in person. What should I say to her? I will see her in the hall and I have final period study hall with her, (should I sit somewhere else?) after which we always walked out of school together. I also need to get my Xbox from her house even though I never play it anymore...also, I think she is angry with me because I let her know how hurt I was, and it made her feel bad. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [31/m] Having issues with my girl friend (30/f) concerning if you love someone you should be allowed to be selfish about it. Whos in the right? POST: So I had an argument the other night with my girlfriend and this always has been an issue in our relationship ( our relationship going on for about a year and a half now ). She has no family in California, but I do and also have my career and life here. Shes very independent and rather nomadic ( living in various states ) and has warned me that she can't find a job in her career over here and most likely will have to settle for crappy temp jobs in this economy if she continues living here. She wanted me to tell her to stay here for me and make the sacrifices for our relationship, but I just think that's too selfish of a thing to say. I feel if I make her stay here for our relationship she will always hold that sacrifice over me. To put it in her words, "love is selfish." How do you guys feel on this issue? Whos in the right? Is it wrong for me to want her to stay here? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps TITLE: Losing My Best Friend..... POST: I am 20 years old male and ended a 3 month relationship with one of my best friends of 3 years, she is 18. I met her at my first anime conventions and was one of my first real convention friends, who then became one of my best friends over time. After knowing we had feelings for each other for 2 years, I decided to take the risk and break my own personal beliefs to start a long distance relationship. At first it was hard, but when we saw one another everything was grand. Two days after my 20th birthday she decided it was time for us to take a break because she doesn't really know what she wants from herself in life, which I can understand because I went through that phase too. She asked me not to talk to her for a week just so things could get situated and I failed at that for 2 months. Two weekends ago we were rooming together at an anime convention, a few weeks before she had said the weekend would be just her and I, then a few hours after we had sex she had sex with another person. I realized now, I had overreacted to a large amount of things during the convention that she did because we are broken up. The main issue is that I am starting to lose her because we keep fighting over stupid things and I have a problem with my feelings after a breakup. I don't want to lose her as a friend or a lover, but I may have lost her as a lover because of how much I had pushed for us to get back together. Our big fight led me to tell her that she is going to get the space that she wants because I have decided not to talk to her until august 1st as the soonest. My main concern is that I do not want to lose her as a friend, what should I do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My[22M] GF [19F] cheated on me a while back, asked her about offences with previous BFs POST: So my girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy a while back, that's sorted (I'm still hurt by the feeling of betrayal obviously, but the amount of remorse she continues to show helps the feelings subside). Last week I asked her if I was the only person she'd ever cheated on. She then began to cry and I just told her not to answer and that it doesn't make a difference anyway. However, I kind of want to know and I can't seem to explain why, I kind of feel that I'd be more comfortable knowing whether she is just a hardwired cheater or has just fucked up a couple of times. Is it wrong for me to want to know? If not, how would I go about bringing it up again? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I (37f) am the other woman. :-( POST: So.. My ex (36m) and I (36f) starting messing around again after about a month of us starting to talk again as friends. We got super close and well, sex happened again. No big deal, it was casual. I wasn't in the place to commit to him again due to moving and starting up a biz. Our emotional intimacy is really intense. We talk for hours on the phone everyday, we miss being in each others presence and all that relationship type stuff. He met another girl over labor day and she is now his girlfriend. I let him know when he started seeing her that I was going to back off and let them have their relationship. I told him I was attached to him again and he confirmed likewise, but because of our previous break up, his romantic feelings for me aren't there. OK.. No big, I'm exiting anyway right? Nope... Still talking and he is doing everything in his power to reassure me of being his friend and that he does not want our emotional relationship to change. Well..... Had a moment of weakness and I allowed him to cheat on her with me. He doesnt want to stop. I know I should walk away. I KNOW THIS. but I just can't seem to let him go. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: When going out with my [26M] Ex [26F], should I avoid flirting with other girls? POST: I was in a relationship with my ex for 5 years and we split up about 2 years ago. We broke up on good terms, we both knew that the love was gone but we still wanted each other around as friends, which works out fine. We keep our romantic life away from each other. We made that rule when we split up and kept it that way. I had on/off relationships in the last 2 years but nothing too serious or long term and she knew none of them. Same goes for me, I know that she had a new boyfriend once but she kept him away from me. Now to my initial question. We go out clubbing or to a bar with our common friends about once a month (max) together, and of course sometimes I get flirty with some other girls, eventho I avoid kissing other girls when she's around. I never thought about it so far but recently some of my friends came up to me asking me if she's not bothered when I'm flirting with other girls "right next to her". Is this something I should care about? She never said anything or acted weird, but she is not the person who would admit that it hurts her. Should I bring it up and ask her about her opinion, or just ignore it? Thank you! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [16M] fear that my GF [16F] may drop our relationship [1 year] at the drop of a hat. POST: I dont know if I am being paranoid or something but my thoughts have been gnawing for some time. When her and I first started dating, she was going out with one of my mates, he wasnt that into her and we're still good friends, but her and I became good friends online and then we had our first kiss and decided to go out whilst she was still going out with her [now] ex. We started to become good friends from constant conversations online, talking about eachother, our sexual orientations and kinks and the like, and I notice her and my best mate having longer conversations than her and I, whilst that is perfectly fine, J cant help but think that something might happen. Because she technically cheated on her Ex my brain races to the idea that she could do that to me. We both say we are madly in love and nothing could tear us apart, but the texts i get from her have slowly been dwindling in number, sometimes lucky to get one response whilst i hear that her and my best mate have talked nonstop. Should i be worried reddit? Or am i just worrying about things that wont happen? TL;DR:

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