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SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: I need advice on tie outs/stakes. Possibly my only option until I can get a fence up.
POST: My dogs (both 5 years old and 50lbs) used to get to run on 20 acres of property and we never had to worry about fencing or leashing them while were outside working or relaxing out in the yard. We've since moved to a place where this is no longer an option. There are now too many neighbors, too many cars and too many other dogs roaming around.
We haven't been able to get a fence up yet, but I hope to have one up by the end of the year or early next spring (unfortunately other projects have to come first). I keep them leashed now when we go for walks or spend time outside, but it's not practical for when I need to do yard work or want to sit outside and read a book to hold on to two dogs.
So I feel my only options right now are to leave my dogs inside while I am outside or have a tie out for them. I would like my dogs to spend more time outside so it's looking like a tie out may be my option.
Does anyone have suggestions for collars/leads/halters/tethers? The dogs would have access to shade, water and I would be outside with them the entire time they are outside.
If anyone has suggestions other than tie outs, they are welcome too.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU BY telling Elsa to shut the fuck up.
POST: OK Reddit let me start of by saying I am a bastard, who loves sleep and is extremely cranky when I am tired. Soo after a night of drinking too much and dancing, I return to my parent's house to sleep not in my bed but on the couch, because my family came over to visit and slept over, no big deal. I was fine with crashing on the couch, so this is where it gets horrible. I have a cousin who is obsessed with Frozen, by obsessed I mean she constantly plays the fucking songs over and over again that it makes you want to smash your head on concrete, She doesn't just sings, she screams it. She wants to be called Elsa, has jammies that look to much like a costume dress of Elsa. In case you didn't catch the hint I HATE FROZEN. So in my sleepy, hung over state who decides to come downstairs and star singing, fucking Elsa. I tried to bit my lip, and keep my composure, but I FUCKING HATE FROZEN. Just as Elsa started singing even louder I couldn't help it and just said SHUT THE FUCK UP. She being *sensitive* started crying and told her mom. I decided to go to the basement and sleeping there until they leave because I don't want to deal with this, and I am hung over.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24F] boyfriend [25M] is jealous of my closeted gay best friend [24M].
POST: Quick background; back in high school, I met my best friend, let's call him P. Throughout the years he's been a fantastic friend - we're extremely close, we've been to many a high school dance together, and he's basically a great guy. Toward the end of high school P told me he was gay, but so far he hasn't told pretty much anyone else except his immediate family. Obviously this didn't change our friendship at all. We've remained close throughout college (went to different universities) and now meet up every so often to get drinks or just chill.
At university, I met my current boyfriend, A. He's the second boyfriend I've had and I love him with a burning passion. We're also perfect for each other, we've never really had any fights of any significance (until now) and we've been together for almost 6 years. We share an apartment and a cat.
The problem is that recently A has expressed to me that he doesn't like how close I am with P. I know A can get jealous very easily. He wants me to stop hanging out with him. Personally I don't think it's fair that I don't get to hang out with guys that are a "threat" when A himself has many attractive female (and definitely straight) friends. I've begun to hang out with P less, but A still isn't happy. I feel like this would all be resolved if I could tell A that P is definitely nothing to worry about because he's 100% gay.
I don't want to cut off contact with P just because A feels intimidated, but he's leaving me no compromise. What's your advice here? How can I reassure A without telling him that P is gay? (P has said he doesn't want me telling anyone just yet.)
Thanks!
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: reddit, I'm paranoid, I think I just caught my first driving offence
POST: Throwaway (for obvious reasons).
This happened in the United Kingdom.
Was driving back from work yesterday, caught a nice "train" with a big lexus in the front, then a black octavia vrs in the middle and me third. They were doing 80mph, so I just stayed with them, then the lexus slowed down (70->65), the octavia did too. Then he slowed down to 60, the octavia did too, I did for a while then got bored.
I got bored, pulled into the fast lane and put my foot down a little bit (was on a downhill), wanted to get back up to 80, a few seconds later I'm doing 100 (still not used to the acceleration of the new car), the octavia pulls out behind me and flashes me. (looked like an undercover police car, blue lights behind the radiator grill, etc). So I slow down, go into the far left lane and notice that he's gone (far infront). I proceeded on my way (slowly :) ) and got home.
That's the end of the story.
Did I just get really lucky and get off with a "warning", or is it likely that they had an on-board camer, took a pic and I should expect something in the mail?
Very paranoid now, as this would be my first offence ever and my insurance is high enough as it is.
Thoughts?
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My Father-In-Law Is Scared To Get Up
POST: Backstory:
My in-laws are moving to be closer to us. They have actually been staying in our house for the last five-plus weeks: The plan was, be here when our second child is born on Valentine's Day, then return home to finish packing, then come back and move into new house.
However...shortly after our daughter's birth (but before they returned home), my 65-year-old father-in-law has what we are terming 'an episode'. He was out with my 63-year-old mother-in-law when, for whatever reason, he passed out twice...falling on his leg, breaking it in three places. Then in a follow-up visit with the orthopedist, he announced "I don't feel well" and went completely blank for 45-seconds...an incident that led to four days in the hospital.
He has a walker, his leg is healing, the doctors found nothing seriously wrong with him...and he won't get out of my recliner. Meanwhile, my MIL got their old house packed up and sold and has been back for a couple of weeks to help. But they're supposed to close on the new house Wednesday - and he won't even get in the car to go to the closing. My MIL and wife are working on him but he's intransigent. Apparently, he's afraid of falling or passing out again due to the stress.
How can I help spur him along? I want to say something like "You married your wife 33 years ago. This is the most important day of the rest of her life. She wants you there, you go." I want to give him a 'be a man' talk - but I'm smart enough to know it's not really my place.
Any help would be appreciated.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going xlarge instead of micro on AWS and running up a monster bill
POST: Nerd fuck up: I'm responsible for the website for an upcoming conference at my university. Our site is hosted through AWS - Amazon Web Services - a cloud server/database/etc provider. In February they asked me to run some queries on our registration information for marketing research purposes. So I exported them from the registration website and into a MySQL database instance that I set up on AWS. This was late at night and I apparently managed to scroll to db.m3.xlarge instead of db.t1.micro. I'm the only one with access to the account and it's hooked to my credit card. Today I go to check my statement for this period and I see a $250 charge for AWS. So I rush to check what the heck we could be paying that much for. I get into the account, check the billing, and I've accrued another $420 since that first statement. I spent maybe half an hour in that database and ran maybe a dozen queries. Pretty expensive marketing research.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17M) ex girlfriend (17F) still loves me and I don't know what to do.
POST: I had been dating this girl for about 2 and a half years, we went to secondary school together and now go to the same sixth form.
At the end of October she broke up with me, she completely took me by surprise; I thought things were going OK. She said that she no longer felt the same way about me, but she wanted to remain friends. I was devastated.
And we did, for the most part, remain friends, which is handy because we are kind of in the same group of friends, and we see each other quite a lot.
Now, a couple of weeks ago she had a massive go at me via text, saying I was the worst friend ever because we hadn't seen each other in a while, and I hadn't attempted to make contact with her. I told her that I hadn't been purposely avoiding her and that I was just treating her like my other friends who I don't talk to on a daily basis either, to which she replied 'I don't want to be just any other friend!' We haven't really spoken since.
Fast forward to today, and my best friend told me that he had been talking with my ex and she had told him to find out how I felt about her, because she was still 'very much in love with me'.
I really don't know what to do, I was very happy in the relationship and it hurt me a lot when she ended it. However I have got over her now and have moved on.
I am studying for my A levels at the moment and hopefully if I get the grades I will be going to uni in September, while she is going abroad on a gap year. So we inevitably will end up breaking up with her again when we go our separate ways.
I'm sorry for rambling but I need advice, should I give the relationship a second chance?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Personal issues with me [16F] about hitting 2nd base with bf [17M]
POST: My boyfriend and I are in a great relationship and I love spending time with him. Tomorrow (10/9) is actually our 6 month mark! As the title suggests, we only recently hit second base, as this is my first relationship and his second, and we're both relatively young. I'm actually very happy about moving the physical aspect of our relationship slowly and he is happy to comply.
While making out earlier, I could tell he wanted to grope me and we happily went on our merry way with that for the first time (and it was great!). Unfortunately, I didn't touch him back save for the usual chest/back area even though he sent all kind of signals that he wanted me to return the favor and go down there. I just feel really shy and unsure as how to even make it feel good for him. Breasts are pretty easy to fondle–just feel and squeeze–but mens' areas are completely different. Also, am I disappointing him for not moving at quite the same rate? We've already talked about it and he says it's fine, but I know he just can't wait for me to catch up. I feel that I'm being inconsiderate of his feelings by holding back on this, yet I am frankly scared of that particular step.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my X Girlfriend [18F] dated for 4 years, broke up 3 months ago and just recently started talking again...
POST: Here is my situation...
I dated this girl all through high school (freshman year until early on in college). Our relationship was overall a good one, of course we had our fights and sleepless nights but what relationship doesn't have that? The relationship didn't end on a bad note by any means, we just sort of drifted apart since she had a life a college that i couldn't relate to or be a part of. Anyways to get to the point, during the 3 months of separation i went through many phases of happiness and depression. Unfortunately i finally cracked last night and sent a massive text to her that basically said how much i missed the old days of our relationship. She replied saying i cant keep focusing on the past and beating myself up because she was just as responsible for the breakup as i was. We talked for a bit and now i guess were friends again.
My issue now is, i don't know how to act around her anymore... For the past 3 months all i have thought about is her and i crave the intimate moments we used to have. Has anyone here made the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to surface level friends before? I'm experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and i don't know how to sort them out or what to do with them. The main thing that is really hurting me is how well she has recovered from the break up... She acts like a completely different person now, and Im still clinging onto the memories of the old her but i cant let go.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (25m) tried to get my gf (25fm) to have skype sex with disastrous results. How can we fix this?
POST: We have been together for two years now and my job requires me to be away for long periods of time. I tried to get her to skype sex and it did not go well. She completely misunderstood my euphemism of naked skype and literally thought I just wanted to skype with our clothes off and was horrified when she found out what I meant. She is not typically prude or shy like that we have made videos (her idea) and I know she has done some fairly adventurous stuff with other partners before me. (3some, butt, girl on girl). I don't understand why she reacted this way. She made me feel like a disgusting pig and I feel rejected, hurt, confused and embarrassed.
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SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: I inherited two old magic books from my dad. r/books, does anyone know anything about these? or if they are worth anything?
POST: Hi Guys. Like the title says, I got these two old books from my dad. *More Magic*, and *Later Magic* by Professor Hoffman. They are the 2nd and 3rd copies of a 3 book series. I know my dad used to have the 1st one (Modern Magic), but we couldn't find it anywhere in the house :( it's either missing or destroyed.
Some quick Googling reveals that these two were originally released in 1889, and 1904 respectively. My edition of Later Magic has markings on the interior that say "New York. E.P. Dutton & Company. Copyright 1904. Published, February 1904." Which makes me think it may be a first edition. The copy of More Magic does not have any mention of the year it was published anywhere inside or out, but appears to be of similar age.
One interesting detail is that both copies have stickers on the inside that say "Private Library of Alfred Lee Loomis" (this guy: ). He's not exactly "famous" imo, but does seem to be a known historical figure/scientist/inventor. Does something like this add to the value of the books?
Some pics here ( )
They are kinda beat up. The binding on 1 is practically falling off. But they do have all the pages and are completely legible.
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SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: What to do?
POST: Hi reddit, 18 yo female here. I am very confused. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy (22m) for 4 years and we finally ended the distance last March when he decided to move here. Everything was great for the first month....we were like a new couple. Since then we had been arguing everyday and we just weren't happy together. Things became a bit violent with him ("accidentally" kicking me, throwing a garbage bag at my face) so I decided to end it. This was a month ago. Since then I have been okay, hanging out with my friends, just living life while he sat at home upset 24/7. What else was he supposed to do? He doesn't have many friends here. Anyways...he finally decided that he may move back to the Netherlands and if I really feel that I love him I should show it. When he told me this, my heart sank. I am not sure if it's because I really do love him or if it's because he is all I have ever known. What do I do reddit? try to work things out or let him go back to the Netherlands. I would love some advice.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [28/m] lied to my girlfriend[25/f] and she broke up with me.
POST: Hello everyone, I am in a major relationship crisis with my girlfriend of 2 years. Around two months ago we had a pretty big fight, (sometimes we do), and my girlfriend broke up with me and told me she doesn't want to do anything with me. 2 days after not talking I was feeling miserable and week so I started writing some random girl on Facebook, nothing flirty or sexual, just normal talk like, name, education, hobbies extra's. I truly thought that my relationship with my girlfriend was over and that we wouldn't get back together, because she told me she doesn't want to. After those 3 days of not talking I wrote my girlfriend and we started talking again, and we were going to meet up for 3 days trip a week after that. In the same time that other girl was still writing me and asking about stuff in my life. I didn't answer so much because I was trying to give her the impression that I wasn't interesting. Now before I went away with my girlfriend I wrote the other girl an honest message that I am sorry but I am not interested in her. Now here comes the stupider part. When I went with my girlfriend to the trip I didn't tell her any of this because I thought it will only hurt her and it didn't mean anything to me and I didn't want anything but for us to be ok. Now after 2 months she found out about that while looking throw my old messages and she broke up with me.
Now my major issue is I honestly don't know if that deserved breaking up over, because she did the same thing almost exactly, she started talking with a guy once when we were broken up, but she told me about it later when we were ok, although she did hide some details about sending pictures and stuff like that. I don't know how to approach this problem, I did something stupid and all I want is for me and my girlfriend to be ok again because I love her and I want nothing but to be with her.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Trying to date a really shy girl, any advice? (m/23)
POST: I go to college, I met her in class (she's 25 years old). We both have very similar interests. We got to talking, and I seem to make her laugh more than any of her friends, after knowing her for the last few months.
So tonight she invited me over to her friends place for a party. We got to talking, we make good eye contact and feel comfortable around each other. But her shyness made me feel like she didn't want to get intimate, so I didn't make any moves. One of my friends actually tried to make a move by sitting close to her when I went to the bathroom, but she stood up and waited for spots to open up for both of us by the chairs.
I feel like she sees me as a really good guy friend, but doesn't know how to get intimate with me. My worry is that if I make a move on her she might get creeped out. So how do I do this? My initial thought is I need to know her for a longer period, I've been with lots of girls for short periods of time, it just seems like she may be looking in the long term? I'm afraid that I may lose time to make a move though.
**Her Shyness:** She is not shy in a way that she doesn't talk much. She loves to talk to me. But we just talk about stuff, I crack a joke here and there and she laughs. It's the type of shyness where she easily reacts to things and people around her. She's actually very willing to get out of her comfort zone...
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23 F] boyfriend [24 M] cheated on me over a year ago and I don't know how to over come it..
POST: A little back story. After our first year together we hit a bit of a slump. I was working full time and he was unemployed. Already kind of put a damper on the relationship but we powered through. I'm the longest relationship he has had ever, and he's mentioned that usually after 7 months or so he starts kind of "exploring" other "avenues". He admitted to me during a fight this time last summer after he broke up with me that he cheated on me a year prior to that. We will have been together three years this year. I was crushed obviously as any one would be. But ultimately we talked and expressed everything we were feeling and reconciled. We recently moved in together. And while the trust has been some what mended in our relationship and there are no secrets or behind the scenes shit going on, I can't help but still cringe.. Get sick to my stomach at times. Sometimes I still cry. And lately I've been feeling a little inadequate because of it.. Those of you in a similar situation or who have been, what's something you did to help motivate you to stay strong? Keep positive? Because while I don't think he would hurt me again, the thought still lingers. And I've run into "her" a few times around town lately and it's just made me depressed. I almost feel crazy..
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M], with my Girlfriend [28 F] just stormed out of my house because she doesn't understand how Snapchat works...
POST: I don't even use the stupid app but some of my coworkers do and like to send little videos to each other. I have 2 people on my snapchat, my boss, and an associate from work who is a girl.
In case you guys don't know what Snapchat is... it's an app that allows for 8 second video recordings you can send to people on your buddy list. Kind of like if you were to text a vine video.
Well I decided to look at it for the first time in months and my gf (dating almost 3 years) wanted to see. When I held the button down the first thing that showed up was an unseen picture of girl from work in a short skirt showing off her leg tattoo. Of course I look puzzled and my girlfriend goes into nuclear meltdown mode.
I kind of just laughed shrugged and said, wow I should let her know to keep me off her send list if she posts stuff like that to everyone frequently. I suppose it would be too much to expect her to have a similar reaction. Instead she starts screaming about how shady it is and how it's soo fucked up, then she runs into the other room and starts calling her friends asking all these questions about Snapchat. She came back in the room, yelled some more, told me she couldn't sleep next to me and took the covers.
It was a really surreal moment since usually everything between us is extremely stable and we're happy 99% of the time. I don't really know how to approach this. Trying to explain to her that the girl sent that vid to everyone on her list and not just me seemed to anger her more. When I told her she was overreacting and needs to realize that I don't know or care about the app and have used it like twice ever, she accused me of lying.
She then grabbed my phone and tossed angrily on the bed where it sort of hit the wall.
What in the hell, Reddit. How am I supposed to explain how ridiculous she is behaving over something I have no control over, and frankly couldn't care less about this stupid app to begin with?
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SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I [22M] am going to break up with my girlfriend [20] today and I am expecting an animated reaction
POST: We have been dating for two years and things have been on and off good and bad. Currently they are good, as in the past 1 week, but I would rather end the relationship now instead of when we are fighting. I have thought about this deeply and finally i am settled on ending this.
The problem is that she thinks I am "the one" and is convinced that we will be together forever. Whenever there is a hint of a suggestion that I have some kind of doubt, her emotions change completely and she accuses me of not loving her. I "broke up" with her about one year ago and she hyperventilated and cried for hours. I succumbed to her reaction and continued dating her and things got better. I am now ready to leave this relationship, but i expect the same reaction from her, if not worse. I expect to be yelled at, accused of not loving her, accused of lying, her having an anxiety attack. I don't expect things to be physical, so there is no physical danger.
Any tips on how to 1. "ease" the bad news, and 2. handle her reaction?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] boyfriend [26M] doesn't give enough emotional support. I try to tell him I need support. What can I do?
POST: He thinks he needs to be the "rock," but it seems like every time I get stressed out he feels inconvenienced when I reach out to him. He writes it off as "stupid" "trivial" and "manufactured." This happens all the time. He thinks he's giving enough "support," but he hasn't actually tried to understand when I tell him that these things feel like a big deal to me. I do care about him, but it's getting ridiculous. Do I really need to put up with someone who thinks I'm being "ridiculous" when I get stressed out and reach out for support?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(18M) have been close friends with this guy(19M) who has never had any luck with women we both like another very close friend (18F)
POST: Well throughout my teenage years I(now 18M) have always had a lucky streak with the ladies(will probably get bashed for that), always knew what to say, what to do. However 6 months ago I broke up with a girl I was with for 2 years, it was a pretty shit break up and found myself at the bottom of a lot of bottles and empty cigarette boxes. A few months back I became quite intimate with the crush my friend (19M) had just given up on. Being the good friend he is, he took in on the chin and said it didn't matter (that didn't end well and is only important to show this has happened before). He started falling for one of our close friends(18F).
The problem is that he sees her a lot and she is very physical E.G leaning against you, putting her legs across you etc. Seeing as he has no previous knowledge with women, he took this the wrong way. She has been in a dysfunctional relationship for the past two years that recently finished.
Her and I have always have a strange lover relationship, we flirt, hold hands, I buy her stuff, whatever but it isn't any bit intimate just simply for fun. But recently I feel that I've fallen for her. And she had definitely come out slightly about being okay with me liking her.
A month or two back my friend decided to try his luck with this who started talking to him, he blew that and didn't care about women for a while.
The past few days have been extremely odd for both I and our female friend and this morning I got a message from my male friend saying that how I was acting yesterday upset him and he realises now he truly likes her.
So what I'm asking is for help; he likes her but she only sees him as a friend, I like her and have grown quite close in the past fews weeks and she's shown slight signs back.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [18/m] think my girlfriend (18/f) wants to break up with me.
POST: We've been in a long distance relationship for the past 6 months and although it is very hard, we had been able to withstand the difficulties of this kind of relationships. I say had because these past two weeks have been very difficult for both of us due to exams and us being busy. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but I think we both came to a point where we realized that our relationship has little to no future. We love each other very much, so much that the pain of not being with me is just to much for her. I just got off talking to her on Skype thirthy minutes ago, and after telling her that I am willing to keep visiting her and that I would do anything to be with her, she told me she wanted to keep trying, but I don't believe her. Sent her a text afterwards saying that although we love each other, if she think it is in the best interest of both of us to end the relationship, so be it. The pain I feel right now is unbearable, like nothing I have ever felt before. This is the first time I write something on Reddit; I didn't know where else to go. What I'm asking for are ways to cope with the pain that comes with a break up where the two people are still in love. Please help me at least get trough the night, I'll talk to you in the comments to keep distracted from this pain.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I get my girlfriend of 14 months to stop turning inward and to start standing up for herself in confrontation?
POST: Hey Reddit. This is a throwaway just because she may or may not know my username.
So we are both almost 17 years old and have been dating for a little over a year now. We are both very much in love with each other and we love each other as well (acknowledging the difference). I'd say we do not fight very often if at all. However, when we do have a confrontation, it is usually because she seems sad about something and I try to ask what's going on. She doesn't talk about anything without me bringing it up. So after gently trying to get her to talk to me about something for a bit, she responds and tells me what is wrong. It is usually simple enough and I am usually at fault for the problem, but the reason she feels sad is because she blames herself.
Other confrontation emerges when I am upset about something and bring it up. I am more forward when there is something I feel is off. Not angry or upset or worked up at all, I just calmly bring it up. When I do this, she usually blames herself completely and apologizes a lot. This makes it hard to talk to her, because often times I am partially at fault. But all she does is apologize and tell me she will be better, and I don't feel like we get anywhere. She isn't brushing it aside, because she doesn't care. She just feels like the problem will improve purely by her own means, and things do not change.
I just really need help with this and could use all I can get.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 F] need help with dealing with my boyfriend's [25 M] crush on his coworker
POST: My boyfriend and I just celebrated our first anniversary. The past year has been great, but in the last few months he's gotten really close with his female coworker. She likes a lot of the same stuff we like and I've begun to notice that lately every song he listens to, movie he watches, article he reads, etc is a suggestion from her.
Also, we go to a lot of concerts/shows in our area. Lately, she's been at every. single. one. Which is fine, except he seems to hang on every word she has to say and seems over eager to have conversations with her (and vice versa).
We went to a concert on the night of our anniversary and surprise, she's there. She texted him letting him know where she was. Looking at his phone screen, I realize they've been texting back and forth...a lot. We meet up with her and again, they're sitting next to each other talking and it's like I'm not even there.
I finally let him know how angry I was about the situation that night when we got home. He admitted that he does have a crush, but that's all it is. He says he'll stop texting her. We talk it out and everything seems fine.
A few days later, he left to go run an errand. I remembered that he phone also sends texts to his iPad. I got on his iPad (I know, I know) and read through their texts. Nothing too suspicious, but then I see that she's going to another show that he surprised me with tickets to *after* we had the conversation.
When he got home, I mentioned how excited I am to go to this other show and how it's just going to be me and him. Instead of correcting me, he nods in agreement and says he excited too.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [28F] My husband [27/M] of 3 years, partner for 12, admitted to me he masturbates to /r/gonewild and I am upset. Justified??
POST: My husband and I have a picture perfect relationship. We're high school sweethearts, have ZERO communication issues, and a wonderful life together. We've built something amazing over the last 12 years and while we've only been married for 3, it feels like so much longer.
We're very open about sex and have tons of fun in the bedroom. I've never had a problem with him masturbating to porn or anything. Hell, we even watch it together sometimes.
But on Christmas Eve, he told me he sometimes masturbates to /r/gonewild and it made me feel really sad. I'm never bothered when he watches porn. Men do it. Whatever. I fell asleep thinking about why I was so upset. What was it about that that really got to me? I figured that what I think my problem is is that those are REAL girls. Not that porn stars aren't...but I don't know, those are just some regular girls on the internet that are just a private message away. They're not inaccessible like women in porn. Does that make one iota of sense? Is there any justification in me being sad or upset about this? I just feel like it's different than viewing "regular" porn.
Thoughts?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26/f) can't stand my boyfriend's (26/m) breath! (Update - S!*t hit the fan)
POST: Here is the original post:
[OP](
I took everyone's suggestions and did some research on it. Last night he came to bed while I was still on my laptop and he asked what I was doing so I thought it was a good opportunity to show him what I found. I was really polite I thought and really emphasized how concerned I was about it. He blew me off and said he was going to sleep. Fine, I let him. I thought maybe he'd be more open about it in the morning and was probably tired anyway.
Well, in the middle of the night I woke up and he smelled HORRIBLE! It made me so mad because he doesn't even listen to me. I got up to use the bathroom and when I got back into bed I yanked over the blanket. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I tried talking to him this evening about something important and he was being immature about it. We got into an argument and then I told him he smelled so I was sleeping on the couch. I did. He left for work this morning without saying anything.
I know I shouldn't have done that but he's being so stubborn! I've been very patient. I collected information so he can read it and so we can work something out together.
What should we do? Break up over bad breath?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just discovered my 13 year old brother is obsessed with ponies. Is this normal?
POST: I have a 13 year old brother that lives a few states away with my mother and her boyfriend. I was a huge part of his life until I moved away 3 years ago. I visit him on his birthday every year and besides that, I don't have much communication with him. My mom and I's relationship is iffy and the less communication the better to keep me sane.
That being said, today I found my brother's steam account. He posted a screenshot of him playing Skyrim on facebook and I clicked through. There I found out that he is in the [poni] clan and every single group he is in is also poni. He refers to himself as a 'brony'. He also has 600 hours in TF2 and 260 in Skyrim. He has 60 hours played in the past 2 weeks. This kid attends middle school and has other after school activities. My mom didn't appear (when I visited) to 'allow' my brother to spend 24/7 on the computer. He hasn't been on facebook since December and I thought it was because he was grounded.
My concern is not only with the amount of time he spends playing video games, but his profound obsession with ponies. I'm not completely familiar with the internets obsession with ponies but I do know that where you find pony stuff, you also find pedobear stuff.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by buying plane tickets online and having them sent to my Gmail. I am furious!
POST: I have been trying to plan a special birthday for my mom and have been saving for a while. She is turning 60 soon. I work a lot and I try to plan times to spend time with her when our schedules allow. I share my Google calendar with her so she knows my schedule and I know hers as well. This helps for doctors appointments or making plans. Here is where I fucked up. I thought it would be a great idea to fly my uncle across the country to surprise my mom.
They haven't seen each other in over ten years and both have health issues. Payday was today (Friday) so I purchased the tickets. Great right? WRONG! After I received my tickets in my Gmail I get a message from Google that says 'We added your event to your calendar". Apparently there is a feature called events from Gmail that automatically adds events to your calendar. I couldn't delete it from my phone and had use a computer when I got home to do so. I get my schedule every Friday and add it at the end of the day and my mom is used to checking it routinely. I am so mad at Google for using my personal information in my email and using it for any purpose of any kind.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Listening to music in the car makes me(18F) feel like I'm dying
POST: I'm not really sure how to explain it or what to call it but I've had this for as long as I could remember. Sometimes when there is music in the car, I react very badly to it emotionally and physically. This happens randomly and it happens with even songs I like. When a part of the song hits a certain tone or note, I start feeling mild discomfort or annoyance but then it will go from there and get worse. At it's very worst, the only way I can describe it is that the music makes me feel like I'm dying or it's killing me. It's excruciating and I flip out while trying to get away from the music.
Most of the time this happens when I'm in the car with my family and I'll ask them to turn off the music completely. They take it as a sign of assholery and would often tell me to stop being so selfish, which I understand, but the pain is so unbearable I really can't help it.
Recently I've started riding in the cars of friends more often and I'm afraid of what will happen if this is triggered in their car. It would be rude to tell them to turn off their music when I'm in their car. I avoid riding in other people's cars if I can because I'm afraid of a bad reaction to their music.
This has happened two times recently in my friends' cars. The first time I was in a classmate's car, but I was able to bear it because it was a short car ride so I did my best to block out the music. The second time was with my boyfriend today in his car and it was a long ride. Thankfully he turned off his music and wasn't offended, just confused.
Other times this has happened were in elementary school when we carpooled for field trips. Back then I'd just start crying because of the pain.
Is there any way I can ask people in the future to turn off their music without being rude? Does anyone else experience this? If so it would be helpful to get some advice on how to handle this. Right now I try plugging my ears, blocking out the sound, and meditating.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [M19] too hopeful or getting subtle signs from my crush [F20]?
POST: I care so much about her and I have for years. I've known her since highschool and I'm now graduated from it. I told her about my feelings about 2 years ago and she claimed she had felt the same way once but not anymore, Though it could have been her taking pity on me. In any case, Things got quiet, My deep feelings for her finally calmed and even though I still cared about her very much, I got over her.
Recently, We got to talking and she opened up alot. She instigated plans to hang out and we agreed on watching a movie together. Mind you, The last time we spoke was when I told her how I felt. Needless to say, I was excited, I was happy to see her again and To be honest, I thought maybe this was a chance to try again. Once there, She greeted me like she used to in school..A long and intimately close hug, After she vented to me about her personal problems and woes and I listened, I find out she is currently in a relationship, That I didn't know about. So here I was, Going to watch a movie (and paying, Not to say that I'm owed anything, Thats not it.) as if this was my chance to finally try and be something more than a friend to this girl and she's got a boyfriend.
I kept my cool, Enjoyed the movie, I still had fun catching up. Afterwards we went for a walk, She told me about the drama in her old group of friends, Her Ex, How she got together with her current boyfriend, Good Times. I still said nothing and when it was time to end the outing, She hugged me the same way as before. She was so close to me and I felt so happy. She went home.
I don't know if this was an innocent and friendly outing or something more? She knows how I've felt and has no way of knowing if I still do, She's taken but it was as if she was seeking me out as a shoulder to cry on or maybe a distraction? Am I reading too far into this or not enough? I don't know.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my GF(Now EX) [16F] of 4 months just broke up, and I'm trying to get her back.
POST: So we were dating for 4 months, and everything was perfect. Sweetest girl with good intentions, and would never cheat. However, she started liking a guy over 2 weeks ago, and she couldn't make up her mind. She felt horrible and didn't want to hurt me, and couldn't see how she could like him and love me. Eventually she got over and Valentines day, and told me I was all her's. She said I reminded her of homecoming and how happy she was finally when I went with her. It was the happiest night of her life.
Then a day later she said she was going to tell him she couldn't hurt me and they couldn't be friends. But she said a part of her wanted to stay friends. She asked me if I trusted her around him, and I said yes. She told me just to trust her, so I did. A couple days later, I could tell something was wrong when she texted me. The past couple of weeks she seem distant when she texted me.
I asked her, and she said that the feelings weren't going away, and didn't know what to do. I had to pry a bit of info because she was scared to tell me, but she said she was loosing feelings for me. So I told her I couldn't deal with it again, so I broke it off with her. However we are on good terms and text pretty much like we did when we were dating. Actually she's acting like her old self now texting as friends. She said she couldn't bear not being friends, and neither could I. She was very apologetic and said she just needed time to think.
She said maybe she'll realize she made a huge mistake, but is thinking about it. Now I'm asking, should I ignore her for a bit and maybe she'll want me more? Or should I just be there for her? Or what else? Keeping in mind we haven't gone a day without talking to each other since before we started dating. We still talk everyday.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 F] with my [36 M] Husband: Is it worth staying?
POST: My husband has cheated on me several times by sexting with strangers online/exchanging pornography. Every time, he tells me that he's going to stop. We went to couple's therapy, and it seemed like we made a good deal of progress. But after a month or two, I found more sexts on his phone. I take the commitment I made to him very seriously, but he clearly does not give me the same respect.
He was previously married, but his wife left him. Occasionally I have found messages of him speaking lustfully about his ex-wife to some of his friends. When I confront him, he says he's completely over her, but wishing that he still had the porn they made together doesn't really sound like he's over it.
I'm not really into porn, but he loves it. He keeps trying to push it onto our sex life. I feel pressured that if I don't accept porn in the bedroom, he's going to be tempted to resort to his sexting habits. He's got lots of kinks and I just feel like I can't be myself without him getting bored with the relationship.
Right now I am supporting him financially and feel like he isn't contributing anything positive to our shared lives. I constantly feel stressed out about our marriage, and feel angry that he does not offer any practical solutions to helping me feel like I can trust him again.
Is there any point on working on this? Should I end this marriage? I feel like I've given my all- my loyalty, my love, and my care, and get nothing except heart ache in return. At what point do you say good bye to the person your promised to be with forever?
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SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I (26/m) like this girl, she seems to like me... We don't talk... How the heck do I talk to her?!
POST: Ok so this girl seems to like me. At first I didn't really pay attention to her, as she's quite attractive and I didn't really feel there was a chance in hell--I've never been with anyone before and so I have no confidence with women I like at all.
She's very attractive, quiet and has a stone-faced demeanour about her, so she's slightly intimidating to be around, especially since I suck with women who I like...
After a while I started to feel attraction and then I noticed that she glances at me from a distance and then looks away before our eyes meet, the usual shy girl behaviour.
I realised that that was pretty much my exact behaviour... I look at her from a distance also and again, look away if our eyes meet.
It's really weird since I can almost see her as a mirror of myself in that we both seemingly like each other, but do nothing.
This has been going on for a while now and there's even been a few occasions where she's stared at me intensely, as I've been in a group of people passing by.
I suffer anxiety when she's around, which has stopped me talking to her on a few occasions, but the more I don't talk to her, the more I suffer. So I need to just push through and talk.
But, I don't know what do I say! I've been racking my brains about this for ages. I want to ask her out as I like her a lot, but I really don't know what angle to take?
How do I approach her? We've never spoken. What do I say? Do I mention that I've seen her looking at me? Do I just say hey I like you? Please help!
Thanks!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF (F19) of 8 months and I (M20) have a fundamental difference in beliefs. Can this work?
POST: My gf is very Christian and I'm very much not, I don't bash and try to be a respectful of everything while still not trying to lose myself if a conversation comes up about our beliefs. Recently she has begun to have a debate whether or not she can ever marry me because it may confuse our future children when mommy and daddy give entirely different answers regarding philosophical questions. She also has said that she does many non Christian things when she's with me even referring to us dating as being against the Bible because she is dating a non Christian. I feel like most of this is unfair to me because I won't just change major things about my life for someone even if I love them without a really good reason. All this being said I really care about her and view her as my best friend as well as my girlfriend. We always have tons of fun together and I enjoy seeing her smile and making her laugh but I just don't know what to do, she says she wants to try and work on fixing it but I just font know how other than just picking up Christianity.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: The poor just get poorer. Needing Debt advice.
POST: First off, this is a throw-away. More importantly. I'm in need of some debt advice. In case it matters, I live in Canada.
Anyway, I thought I'd gotten things under control recently. Finally got myself a decent job since the recession, and started to play catch-up on all my outstanding bills. However, they just keep piling up. Just when I think I have them all figured out, something else shows up. For example... Last night I got a letter from another collections agency.. Today I got my taxes done, hoping I'd get at least a little money back to put towards this... Wrong. I apparently owe the government around $1000.00. I can't afford more payments, as it is I'm having a difficult enough time making the ones I've already got.
I have nothing worth selling, and I refuse to claim bankruptcy. Unless things get even worse, that's just not an option for me.
Have any of you dealt with any kind of debt consolidation company? What were they like?
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SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: My cat is not a fan of his new sister.
POST: Hi guys!
So I recently adopted a kitten and brought her home. She has her own special place to sleep, eat and poop (the bedroom, which is already off-limits to our other kitty).
I introduced them after a couple days of sniffing each other through the door, and placed her in her kennel in the living room for a safe face-to-face meeting. Both did well. Big Brother pawed through the bars of the kennel and Baby Cat batted back playfully. Everything was going smoothly.
I let Baby Cat out, and we played with her toys in the living room while Big Brother watched. He got curious and came over after a little while. He stood over Baby Cat and began to groom her.
"Omg, how effing cute!"
I was so excited that they loved each other. I was picturing them cuddled up in the same bed, playing together, matching outfits...
But that fantasy was crushed by a squeal coming from Baby Cat. Big Brother had her completely wrapped in his front paws and was biting her *hard*.
Now I can't leave them unsupervised together. Sometimes he will come up while I have her on my lap and groom her a bit, and then go back and bite her again. And these are not playful nips, either. Its breaking my heart that he's being so mean to her after what I would have deemed a succesful introduction process.
He's currently wearing a calming collar, I've tried spraying him with water when he gets into "pounce mode," I hold her butt up to him so he can check her out, I get them to play with the same toy, but as soon as he stops playing, he pounces on her. I feel awful admitting that I've given him a pretty decent whack on his butt, and he does leave her alone for a little while after that, but I don't want to make that a regular thing.
I am totally out of ideas, and I am not going to re-home or return anybody. Reddit, please help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [FINAL (happy) UPDATE] me(26F) with my husbands (29M) family (grandma and mom) treat me badly and Christmas is the last straw for me
POST: OP:
So /r/relationships, I would say all has worked out. I may still have a strained relationship with my MIL, she "apologized" by hugging me and whispering in my ear "im sorry i offended you, i love you". Which as far as i am concerned, was more than i ever expected to get from her so im happy.
But the real update is that my husband grandma came over the other night (unannounced, 5 minutes earlier she probably would have heard us havign sex, good times) just to apologize! She told me she was so sorry that she hurt me and that she had never intended to. She almost started crying. She hugged me, several times. And she also said that next christmas she wanted to come to our house for the holidays :) i do truly believe that her reasoning for not wanting us to host this year was because all the aunts and uncles and cousins were coming this year (even though i wanted to host them too, i think i was being a bit silly because our house isnt that big, and theirs is huge... Emotional me) and that next year her, grampa and MIL and my parents should all come here for a big family christmas in our beautiful new house. This made me really happy, and realize that convenience really was her motive for this, although what she said was still rude but she apologized for that.
So, i think everything is going to be a lot better now...ive gotten apologies, my husband has learned how to be more assertive with his family, i am going to try to not be so emotional when things dont go my way...husbands mom is getting back together with her physically abusive husband and uncle is stealing from her to support his addiction...be prepared for more fun dramatic posts from the ReadyForHalloween family!
And thanks everyone for your help :)
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, I need help. I hate my current job but don't know what to do.
POST: Throwaway account, some of my classmates are on here.
So here's my situation:
I'm going on to my 4th year out of 4.5 in a very specialized college as an engineer (someone who would work in a power plant or factory not a software engineer) and I've managed to get through all the rigorous trainings and tests thus far. I completed one internship on a ship where I wasn't too comfortable in the beginning couple days but got through and managed to fit in and have a good time. Now I'm onto a second. This one is at a power plant and all of my family and friends are really supportive. In fact, a lot of people are looking up to me because I'm the only girl there etc. but I absolutely hate it.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, I just hate this job, I want out but I feel like if I quit (only 2 weeks in) I will not only lose the respect of my peers but of my family and friends. They have no idea I don't like it, and everyone at work thinks I'm a good intern, I don't know what to do.
To give you an idea I love working on machinery- which is why I am an engineer. I love tearing things down and fixing them. I hate driving. hate it with a passion. This current internship is at a biomass power plant so I have to drive a dump truck, forklift, water truck, and a small bulldozer. I already have my forklift license but have to learn to drive stick in the next couple days.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (URGENT) Reddit, I need help. A dog's life is at stake!
POST: *If you know any other subreddit that may help me please direct me to it*
My neighbor is **crazy**. She lives with her parents and is in her mid thirties. She spends most of her time wandering in her garden and talking to herself; mostly about her parents. She says her father is a pervert and her mother doesn't care, and I honestly think that she's a victim to some kind of abuse.
She also mentioned the fact that her parents wanted to put her in an lunatic asylum. From what she says, they also lock her in the house and keep her from the outer world.
I really don't know if her word is true, but I honestly do not care about that right now.
This woman has a dog and she spends lots of time playing with him. I suppose she holds him dear to her since he is her only companion. But tonight she came to our house, and begged us to take it and put it in some shelter because apparently **her parents have decided to euthanize it**.
She actually used to live abroad and obviously brought the dog with her, using the dog's passport. She says that the authorities are complaining about it and that the dog is not allowed to stay here anymore, so her parents want to get rid of it to avoid any kind of problems.
My father refused to take the dog because she's insane. She may be lying. Her father may sue us and accuse us of stealing her dog. She might change her mind tomorrow. But one thing is for sure - the dog cannot get killed because of their insanity.
*I am truly sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I know you love Cats... Well Mine's spraying the house.. HELP
POST: Hey Guys,
A few days ago we adopted a Rag Doll Mix Male Cat. He is the meekest, cutest little ever with a weak meow and just wants nothing more than to chill all day.
However he is a male, and he is un-desexed. Sadly we think he is a year to 2 years old which makes me disappointed his previous owner didn't de-sex him but whatever.
Anyways the first night we got him home he was really good, just wanting to cuddle ect, then the hell started.
He started spraying, and it's the cute my kitty had an accident spray it's the it fucking stinks.
That and he yowls, at night he just howls and howls at 2am, he knows we are in the house, he knows we aren't abandoning him, but he yowls...
Anyone know how to fix this? We suspect he was abandoned from his last home and want to take good care of this little guy, but we can't have him spraying and yowling.
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SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Help! Bridal party advice!
POST: My fiancé, out of excitement and the goodness of his heart, asked four of his best friends to be his groomsmen within days of us getting engaged and said he would also like to ask his younger brother. The problem is, he was so excited, he forgot to ask for my input. The only person I feel close enough to ask is my sister. It's -really important-to us that our sides are even. It would also feel unnatural to move his friends to my side, but I also don't have the heart to have 3 of them step down and participate in another way.
What's the best option? Do I ask people I'm not very close to to be my bridesmaids? Is it appropriate to ask someone who doesn't know my fiancé very well if I do end up reconnecting with old friends?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my girlfriend [23 F] 18 month relationship. Can't handle my BPD partner anymore but I'm worried she'll use our daughter against me if I break it off.
POST: My partner and I have been together for over 18 months now. We met after both going through rough break ups and clicked immediately. She fell pregnant quickly (3 months in to our relationship) and our daughter is the most important part of my life.
When we were first started out she told me that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. I thought I could handle it but the constant turmoil and arguments it causes is driving me to the brink. She refuses to seek treatment for it other than to take medication for her anxiety
I've come to the conclusion that I need to finish it with her as I don't want to bring our daughter up in a poisonous relationship. However I'm really worried, due to how manipulative she is, that she'll use our daughter as a weapon against me.
I'm looking for advice as to how I can end this relationship without her going off in to the deep end of the crazy pool and trying to ruin my relationship with my daughter
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30s M] with my wife [30 F] 4 years (few months married) saw a porn on my phone, now she's livid and won't talk to me. She thinks porn is cheating. What should I do?
POST: Originally posted on AskReddit, I was redirected here. Here's the story: We've only been married less than a few months. It had been several days to a week since the last "release" for a couple of reasons (our relationship has always been strong, it's not because of that). I was starting to feel like blue balls were around the bend, so excused my self "to poop" and took care of business. For me if it gets bad, it puts me in a bad mood and I didn't want that to happen. I haven't had to look at anything in a long time.
Later when I unlocked my phone in front of her, the last thing I looked at was up on the screen. She got really upset, and I immediately lied saying I just look at stuff like that sometimes. Later I told her the truth about "clearing the pipes" and she got even more angry. I said I was just trying to take care of it quickly and not make you feel pressured or bad about it.
She feels betrayed, hurt and considers looking at porn in a marriage cheating. I've tried talking to her about it and she still doesn't agree. I'm not sure what to do at this point, she won't talk to me at all.
What should I do? I've tried apologizing and telling her even though I don't agree, if it bothers her I'll stop, and that she's way more important than any picture could ever be. Of course it ruined the holiday and I feel absolutely horrible about it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I need help!
POST: Hi, I am a 17 year old male. I weigh 241 ponds as of today. I would really like to lose weight and get down into the hundred's. I am planning on counting calories and eating a lot healthier. Although, counting calories may be difficult as I don't know the exact ingredients put into some of the foods that my mom makes. We do eat healthy though, so that is not an issue. My main unhealthy habits is picking up some fast food for myself after work or school. I keep trying to stop eating fast food, but it is harder than one might think. Any tips for basic counting calories?
My main question here comes to working out. I have been reading so many different things from so many different places, that I am confused. I want to do the couch to 5k program three times a week. But I also want to do strength training two or three times a week. This is where I am not sure what to do. I do have a gym membership, so I am planning on going to the gym to do this. I am not sure about doing a lot of free weights as I will not often have friends or family with me. So what should I do for strength training?
One more thing, I have seen so many great things on here and in all fitness related articles and things that I have seen, but they are geared towards adults. Any tips for a teen trying to lose weight and get healthier while in school and still living under their parents roof?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27/F] am worried the guy I have been dating [30/M] for 3 months is going to break up with me.
POST: Guy I have been dating for a few months got a text from my ex saying I am a cheater, which isn't true.
I explained they were lies and that it was just my ex trying to hurt me. All the guy I am dating said was "It's concerning and a lot of take in".
I gave him space for a few days then asked if he was free to come over and maybe go out. He said "I think we should talk first".
I know that usually that phrase means "yeah I am gonna break up with you" but he is a good guy, I would think he would allow me to explain the situation to him before just believes this jerk of an ex.
Could it mean he seriously wants to talk about he situation then go out. Am I over thinking?
We have been dating for about three months, talking through text for four. He is super busy and an hour away so we usually only see each other like twice a month.
I dropped hints about my abusive relationship but hasn't gone into detail. I was going to tell him this weekend.
As a guy, if you really liked a girl, would this be a deal breaker? The ex has been dealt with and wont be contacting him again. Would you hear the girl out or just assume you dodged a bullet and leave her?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving my cheez-it box open.
POST: So I work the night shift at my job so I get home around 630AM, do stuff untill noon, then sleep the rest of the day. Well, many days I'll spend some time on the computer, and like to snack occasionally. Yesterday, I left my cheez-it box open before going to bed. Today, I get home and hop on the computer, and the sun hasn't come up when I sit down, and I occasionally grab a cheez-it or two from the box. About a half hour into my computer session I get an itch on my arm, then my back, and realize soon after, I AM SWATTING AT ANTS. Since it's dark out, I turn on my light to see that I had been grabbing from a cheezit box full of ants crawling all over them, and some had also gotten on me. Nearly thew up realizing I probably ate some of them with the cheezits. Threw out the cheezits and bombed the f*** out of my room with pledge. Hopefully they're gone.
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SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Is it possible to quit a job amicably without providing a 2 week notice?
POST: Some more context: I recently moved to a new city for a job and have worked here for a little over 6 months - a very short timeframe, I know. My coworkers are mostly nice/easy to get along with and the work here is good but I have various grievances with commute length and the expectation to work overtime without pay. Nothing dealbreaking per se. If possible I'd like to keep good professional relationships with these people.
A week or two ago, though I wasn't looking, I was offered a job opportunity at a better firm by a recruiter and ended up getting it! The problem is that the firm wants me to start ASAP as they are critically understaffed and want me to be there for the start of a new project. The timeframe they want is under two weeks, and I'd like to meet it. Is there any way to quit my current job in a way that won't burn bridges without seeing through a full two week notice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] feel incapable of maintaining any form of serious relationship
POST: I'm 19, currently in my second year of college, and I feel completely worthless because I'm watching all of my relationships end again.
I've always had issues with people. Between struggling with mild paranoia, social anxiety, and depression, its always been hard for me to find the initial connection with someone to start a relationship. Once I get past that and can actually talk with someone, everything is fine for a while. But, somehow all of my relationships keep ending abruptly.
Most recently, I graduated high school, and almost every single one of my classmates stopped communicating with me before the week was over.
In addition, any time I've tried to start, or even hinted at wanting to start a serious or romantic relationship with a girl, I've either been immediately rejected, or "friend zoned" and then slowly shut out completely.
Now my last few friends from high school are graduating and leaving, and I'm a few months from being completely alone, and I don't know what to do. I've never had to go out and find new friends before, all of my relationships have started over a shared forced activity (usually school).
Every night I come home, and my parents try to ignore my problems, and won't help me do anything about them. I've started having more bouts of depression, and its making it hard to sleep and keep to a normal schedule. My grades have been dropping, and I've lost the drive for most hobbies I used to enjoy.
The entire reason I've been going to college is because I want to be able to get a job and support a family, but lately it feels like I'm just going to end up spending the rest of my life alone.
I have to fix this, but I don't know how.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 4 Months, Confused Feelings
POST: I'm using this account as a "throwaway" account as advised by a friend for complete anonymity. I am a 18 year old male college student and 4 months ago I met in my eyes, the perfect girl.
We have argued and had misunderstandings more times than I can remember but we have gotten over them relatively quickly. I am absolutely convinced I am in love with this girl because I truly care about her feelings and she accepts me for who I am. She also makes me happy :)
Recently, this past week, I have been having confused feelings towards her or maybe just the relationship. We have had two fairly big arguments this week over silly things but I just can't get my head around them.
Yesterday I went round her house for dinner and I didn't quite feel the warmness in my heart that I used to feel when I saw her. She knew something was up so I tried explaining to her that I am confused and she was just really upset, she was almost certain she wanted nothing to do with me because she felt like I was "treating her like a toy" and "messing with her". We eventually made amends but I still feel confused.
I'm not interested in any other girls however do tend to fantasize from time to time. I just want to be happy again, I want that spark to come back and I don't want to continue living feeling like this because it's not fair on the both of us.
We recently tried not having sex but we very quickly felt like doing it again. I'm not sure if it would of helped to be honest.
So my question to you guys and girls is, what do you recommend me to do? Me and my girlfriend love each other very much but maybe that's not quite enough. I just want to feel happy again, to feel that spark when I see her. Does this mean that the relationship is dying? Does this mean that I don't truly love her? I'm just so confused right now and I need some help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Debt collector attempting to collect a legit $10,000 debt, but I have no way to pay it back. I would appreciate any advice.
POST: (I was recommended from the legal advice forum to post here
I am ~$10,000 in debt to Well Fargo that I racked up through college and after trying to find jobs. I paid my bill every month on time for the last 6 years (since May 2009). I lost my job in August of 2014, spent my savings and accumulated more debt traveling to cities for job interviews. Finally, I was able to secure a job, but I am only making $1800 a month. If I do well at this job, there is a lot of possibilities for advancement because I have a BS degree and that is who they promote (and $40,000 in student loan debt).
I received a letter yesterday from a debt collector notifying me that they are now trying to collect the debt I owed to Wells Fargo.
I don't have any possessions. I rent a crappy apartment; my car is worth $1500 in mint condition (mine is in meh condition); I was robbed last year so I don't own a couch, TV, etc. I own my car, my computer, and enough clothes to pack into a suitcase. Really, I am the definition of piss poor...but at least I have a job.
I don't think I should ignore the debt collector, because they will just sue me. If I call them, I can't pay them anything.
The other thread mentioned that I should negotiate the $10,000 I owe. I don't even know how because I am fully responsible for paying that debt, and I intend to when (if?) I ever get enough money. However, how do I negotiate when I own next to nothing, I make next to nothing, and I can barely support myself right now?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (16M) want to ask out a girl (16F) eventually, how should I go about it?
POST: I'll try to include everything that pertains to the situation, but I can't promise that.
About two months ago, I saw this girl for the first time (We'll call her Sydney) and I immediately developed a crush on her. Now I was homeschooled for a year, and I am going back to the school that Sydney just moved to this year, so I didn't have very many opportunities to see her, other than some Sundays and Wednesdays at social occasions. Eventually, I worked up enough confidence to ask her for her number (I'm also a worrier, so I get really worked up about some of these things and overthink and, well, worry).
We've been texting for a couple of weeks now, and it's not been too productive so far. She responds very sporadically, but I talked to one of my other friends and she said that Sydney almost never responds to her, so I don't really have a control to base this off of. The past two weeks, Sydney went back to Canada to see her family and friends, and I was gone for a week so we didn't talk during that time. I want to let her know that I'm interested in her before someone else tries to start a thing with her, but I don't know how fast is fast and how to take it, because I do have all summer and into the school year, but I'm not a very patient person either, and it's eating away at me a little bit just thinking about her.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear musicians of reddit, I need your suggestions.
POST: Hi reddit!
I love music a lot and I want to be able to play a musical instrument. Since I like piano, and somehow it seems to have so much more emotional depth than other instruments, I began taking piano lessons about 2 months ago. Okay, here's the thing thats been bothering me.
The problem i'm facing is, my aim in learning to play the piano (or any instrument) is to be able to play any song I hear without the need of music sheets. I've seen many videos where the pianist says he/she just plays it by ear. I want to be able to do that. Which seems to be a tough thing to do given that have no musical background whatsoever. So, considering my goal, should I continue to learn to play the piano or switch over to an other instrument? An easier one maybe? What are your views?
I'm 23 now, and can spare 1 hr each day on weekdays and 5 hrs each day on weekends. I don't mind even if it takes 5,10,15 or more years. I just want to be able to play any song just by ear. Can I do this? What is your advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M18] having trouble leading a conversation with [F18] girlfriend.
POST: Hey guys. I'm having a bit of trouble in my relationship. I don't know whether I should worry or not, but I think I should because my GF seems bothered by it. Essentially, we are a LDR that started as a normal relationship, except it is my first one. She's really special to me and I love her, but for whatever reason, I always have a hard time talking to her over Whats App and Skype and whatnot. I feel like I don't have a really interesting life, nor anything she's really like to hear about; we're both in college, and while she goes to a big college with a big reputation, I'm going to a tiny college that's just started. She has way more going on for her, while I'm stuck at university from 9 AM to 10 PM most days, either coding or doing math or gaming while I'm busy. She's a Poli-Sci major, so no connection there. What makes it worse is the fact I'm in Spain and she's in the US. By the time I have free time I feel tired and just want to shower, have dinner and sleep. It's not necessarily limited to her, I've never liked small talk (it feels dumb and I know people are not interested, not even your SO). It just feels frustrating, because I know she wants me to talk more but I feel like I can't. What do you guys suggest I could do?
We've been going on for... almost ten months, anniversary is March 31st.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 21 M, friend 22M won't leave me alone
POST: I'm in college and I have a friend that won't take no for an answer. We live about 1/4 mile apart. I've known him for 3 or so years but only lived this close for less than a year. Absolutely asexual.
He calls me multiple times a day, if I say I'm in class or at work, text me, I still get multiple phone calls.
If I make an excuse not to hang out, something like "I'm watching football at my place," he'll ask me to go do it at his place, even if there's 10 minutes left in the last game of the day.
He'll offer something like a ride home from work, if I accept he'll try to guilt me into going into his place and hang out instead of mine.
He'll invite me over to get high or drink then sit there and do homework in front of me, all kinds of terrible host shit.
He does this to more people than just me, but I seem to be the primary target. The kid's some kind of extreme social, can't walk through a 40,000 person campus with him without him saying hi or stopping to talk to so many people whom he frequently barely knows.
I kind of feel bad for him, I don't want to be a dick and just tell him to kick rocks. Ideally I'd like to see him once or twice a week, and maybe in a more social situation than just sitting on his couch doing generally nothing interesting, maybe at a bar or something. How do I politely tell him to leave me alone, stop calling me every damn day, etc.? It's gotten to the point that I'll literally draw the blinds turn the lights off and ignore my phone.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] lied to my boss [30'sF]
POST: I'm a temp at her office and she's the best boss I've ever had. But I only got extended every 6 weeks for minimum wage so it was super unstable. I got offered another job that was permanent through another agency. They really needed people because the company had a lot of bad press so they bypassed the interview.
Someone asked about when the interview was and I just said "a few weeks ago" - knee jerk reaction. I knew everyone knew about the companies failure and didn't want them thinking they only wanted me because they were desperate. Stupid I know.
So I get to my new job and the agency out right lied about what I could do so I basically got let go.
I'm now about to have coffee with my old boss and I have to explain to her what happened and that I lied. I feel really stupid, I don't even know why I felt the need to lie.
Nonetheless, any way I can do it without breaking down any more trust than I have done?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, in what way do you try stop others being upset form things that have upset you in the past?
POST: Example;
Its my younger brothers 16th birthday this year, and I have bought him a cheap-ish tablet device (I don't have a good income) and I have a silly meal planned, including a home made pizza and home made muffin with chocolate sauce for desert for him, where I'll bring the muffin out on his wrapped present.
I'm doing this because most of our birthdays, we have been promised amazing presents and trips and then had each birthday ignored, and none more so than the "milestone" birthdays, by our mother.
She has ignored his birthday this year too, and I'm at the point where I'm hoping this present will be enough for him, to make up for our shitty mother.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My girlfriend has gone insane.
POST: Okay so I have been browsing Reddit for a couple years but never really post anything. My girlfriend, who I have been with for over a year, has gone insane. By this I mean that she is perfectly normal but every once in a while she decides she wants to break up. There is no reason at all for this she just says that she is tired of people leaving her life so she wants to leave me before I get the chance to leave her. Then she is back to normal again after a few days. Is there any advice anyone can give me for this? She has mild depression as well. Sorry if this isnt the right place to post this im very new at this.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [20F] pretty sure I just destroyed my last friendships. Always alone, its killing me, don't know what to do.
POST: Yesterday me and some of my closest friends were supposed to go out for my birthday, and they all decided to do a bunch of drugs and pass out instead. They hadn't been communicating with me at all until the last minute, I was really depressed and angry/upset.
I told my friend's (john) girlfriend (kate) about his cheating. Now my two closest friends who actually did the cheating together (john and mark) are really mad at me and probably don't ever want to be my friend again. I've spoken to Mark, he says I had no right to tell Kate, she didn't need to know, John was just messed up on mdma, etc. John lied to Kate instead of coming clean (who lives on a different continent).
My friends have always been more into drugs than I am, and over the past year its become all they talk about, all they do, its their whole lives basically. I don't want that lifestyle. They told me they couldn't afford 5$ cover for a place we had made plans to go to (even though I got them on the damn guest list anyway) right after spending 200$+ on drugs online.
They're shitty friends, they stress me out and bail on me/disrespect me, whatever. I have nobody else, no other friends or family. I'm too depressed to be all alone. I'm unemployed and not in school, I have a really really really hard time making friends, it seems no matter what I do nobody wants to be around me, I always get ignored/bailed on/etc. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Should I dump these toxic people instead of trying to salvage the only relationships I have? How can I make new friends? How can I cope with no emotional/social support until I have close friends again? I really need specific advice or resources, you can tell me to get out more and join a club or something but that's not very helpful...
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25/F] ex-boyfriend [27/M] is one of my best friends. I met someone new and I am not sure how to approach the topic.
POST: So, this is something I have been afraid to deal with when it came to a new relationship. My last boyfriend and I had an amazing time together, but we both ultimately realized we were better off as friends than being together. I don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore, but I do love him as a friend. He is incredibly supportive and we gel really well. I have, in the past, tried to approach the topic with a romantic interest only to have them get very judgmental about it. I recently met a new guy who I talk to every day, we've been on dates, and we have both expressed a desire to try this out. I also really don't want to cut off my ex-boyfriend as a friend because he has helped me through a lot and, although we dated, I think of him more as a friend.
To cut to the point, I have not been able to successfully broach the subject with a couple romantic interests in the past and I really like this new guy. He is everything I had hoped for, but I feel like he is going to judge me/feel intimidated by the fact that one of my best friends also happens to be an ex. How can I try bringing it up in a way that won't make the new romantic interest comfortable with this? I really don't want to scare him off.
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: $60k now or $100k later
POST: So because I dropped out of school to pursue music and told my grandpa I didn't want to go back, he originally said I would receive two $50,000 checks, one, on Jan 1st 2016 and then other on 2017. When I met with him the other day, I expressed interested in possibly getting some of the money sooner, so he offered the option of taking $60k now instead. Now from a pure numbers point of view there should be absolutely no reason why I would want to take the $60k, unless I'm going to die from a treatable disease in the next year or something like that, but, I'm still considering the option because where I am financially it could really be a huge help and having a few thousand dollars this year would let me invest more into my music and overall make my life less stressful. I most definitely have to pay taxes on the money. I made a pro/ cons list to help me organize my thoughts here:
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Bisexual, but parents don't know yet. Advice perhaps?
POST: Alright, so my parents do not yet know that I am bisexual. The only ones in the family that know I am bisexual are my sisters, but not my parents. The only things stopping me from going out with guys is the fact that I am afraid that they will be rude to me that I didn't tell them before I was with someone. On my Facebook, I have had it state that I am interested in men and women for quite some time, hoping that they would find it but not ask about it. They have yet to bring it up, and I don't know whether or not they will be okay with it. I am 17, and I am still dependent on them. Recently I just moved back home with them after dealing with irritating legal guardians. They are happy that I have returned home, however, my dad is homophobic slightly. I am a little lost as to how I am to deal with the issue at hand. Any advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] am manning up and telling her [20F], Was hoping for some last minute tips or advice?
POST: I've known her for over a year and a half, we've talked almost every day for a year. We know eachother through the internet. I'm in highschool (Nearly graduation) and she just went into her first year in College. We're both interested in the same things, we practically read eachother's minds, and always seem to be trying to make time for eachother. But here's where it gets complicated, She never puts anything beyond basic information online, specifically states she hates when people flirt with her. So my problem is that I don't know if she already has someone or not, which is what is driving me insane and very nervous right now since I'm going to tell her the next time we talk (She's asleep right now, I have some time to prepare myself.)
Also is it weird to anyone about the age difference or that I'm younger?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend[19 F] of 2 years, I feel pressured into planning out our future together
POST: I have been with a girl for two years and I love her very much.
Our relationship has been going well but recently she often brings up getting married in the future or saving up for a house together.
I have told her that while I love her and enjoy spending time together, I feel uncomfortable thinking about the future as we are both very young.
She has told me that this hurts her a lot, and she will always be thinking about our future and spending the rest of our lives together, making me feel guilty about not feeling the same way.
It is brought up fairly regularly in conversation now, and while I try to avoid the subject it is often pressed very hard.
I don't know what to do. I love her but I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel like my whole life is planned out.
Any advice you can give is much appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Paying for car under parent's name, applying for mortgage. Is it "mine?" (US)
POST: My wife and I are preparing to apply for a mortgage through a pretty excellent local program. Our credit is good (~690-710), but we're right at the maximum accepted debt to income ratio of 45%. A big chunk of this is a $200 car payment on a loan that is under her parent's name. They bought the car, took out the loan, and have everything registered under their names. We "bought" it from them (aka, we agreed to make the payments for them every month).
When we're applying for the mortgage, is this considered our debt or her parents? Again, the car is titled, registered, and the loan is held by them. We make the payments and have paid for the insurance.
If we don't need to claim this, it would make our debt to income percentage look a lot better. I understand that percentage is there for a reason, but we're currently paying a substantial amount more in rent than the mortgage, upkeep, insurance, etc.. would be for the house according to everything we've been able to find, not to mention savings in gas, groceries, and such for moving to a less expensive town.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Has becoming a dick worked for anyone?
POST: So I've been single for about three years now (m/21), and have really wanted another girlfriend basically the entire time. I feel like part of the problem, if not the entire problem, is that I'm too nice of a guy. I've been told by numerous people that I'm the nicest person they know, and now I'm starting to think that this may be contributing to the problem. After all, guys always here how girls always want the bad boys, and nice guys finish last. So I'm seriously considering trying to not be so nice (which seems to me as if it will be difficult). Before I do though, I just wanna know if others thought this of themselves, and tried to become more of a dick to actually get a girl, and has it worked?
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SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Solutions to our Economic Problem...
POST: OK, let's lay this out on the table.
Our economy sucks because there are not enough jobs. There are not enough jobs because it is cheaper for corporations to outsource their work to developing countries.
Globalization has a hand in this as corporate competition now not only comes domestically, it can also come from overseas. One of the symptoms of globalization is that it pressures corporations into mergers and acquisitions in order to take advantage of economies of scale. As globalization forces margins lower, corporations need to cut costs (outsourcing work) to remain competitive.
What do we have left? Largely, all we have left is jobs in the service industry. Thousands of manufacturing jobs are no longer available and this is the problem our economy is facing.
So, that is how I see it - we need to come up with ideas on how to solve this problem. I'll start... Renewable energy. If the government invests considerably in renewable energy the jobs it would create would provide a significant boost to the economy.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I help someone who has falled for a pyramid scam?
POST: This person is in his mid-20's.Graduated with a degree in something virtually useless in this day and age,after changing majors due to difficulties with math.Is over 200,000$+ in debt. Works shitty entry-level jobs. Manages to just make it living on his own,while supporting his new girlfriend. Just fell for a Pyramid scam. Now is trying to get his family involved in it,hitting them all up for a substantial amount of money,including my closest relative.My closest relative has actually agreed to give him this substantial sum of money. I let my relative know not to expect any money back,if anything do it just because hes your relative.Now is trying to get my closest relative to sign over services ,as this is part of the pyramid scam. I am scared because my closest relative does not listen to me,even though I have an advanced math-based degree.
The person in question seems hypnotized by the promises of this pyramid scam.How do i let him know that the only way to get out of his situation is to go back to school . He is young. since he is independent , financial aid/pell grants can cover most of the tuition at a city college,instead of wasting a few hundred grand at a private uni.
i am scared for him,as well as my closest relative,who is blinded by care.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [20M] of 4 years. Pushing him away?
POST: My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were 13/14 years old, we met in 2009 in our first year of high school and started dating in 2012. Went to the same college for 2013 -2015. And now are both back home, planning on moving in together again (we lived together throughout college in the town we went to school in) and getting married in 2018.
I always hear horror stories on here about high school sweethearts and them cheating/wanting other things and what not. So I try to keep the lines of communication with him as open as possible. He's not great at communication... He doesn't like telling me when he's upset about things because he doesn't want to upset me, or bother me. Which I've told him countless times that if something is wrong, I want to now. I want to help. So with wanting to keep communication open, I ask him a lot of questions... Like if he is still attracted to me, and that I've heard of many people in long term relationships losing those feelings for each other/one of them losing it. I'll ask if he regrets "settling" down so young, if he wishes he was able to sleep around in college (I was not his first. I was the third person that he had sex with. He was my first). I ask him about other women he thinks are attractive (which he to this day claims are none, lol despite the fact that 2 years ago he thought Jennifer Lawrence was more attractive than me -WHICH OF COURSE SHE IS- but apparently now she isn't. ) All in all, I just ask him a lot of questions - kind of to clarify that we're both on the same page.
I'm worried that by asking all these questions I'm pushing him away, and sabotaging our relationship. I'm a very insecure and anxious person and I'm not sure how to stop doing this or how to stop worrying that we'll be like the statistics.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking to my boss on the phone.
POST: Small fuckup, but I still feel like a giant idiot.
I work at a small coffee shop somewhere in Germany. We have a policy at work that requires you to call your superior if there is a difference of 10 bucks or more in the cash register after we close down. So today, I was working late shift, and voila: a difference of 10 precisely. So I count out the 100 that go back into the register in small bills and coins, call my boss, put the bills into the register...and close it without putting the coins back in. There is this awkward moment in between me realizing what I just did and the fact that the only one having a key to the register is - my boss. "Ermh, there isn't any other way to open the register except with your key right?" She immediately realizes that I just effectively locked the coins out of the register until Monday and starts laughing at me while I am standing there, facepalming. She then tells me not to worry and put the coins into the safe and that she'll just put them back into the register Monday morning.
So I put down the phone only to realize that the whole plastic box we keep the coins in won't fit into the safe because tiny shop = tiny safe. So there I am, putting the coins into small cardboard espresso-to-go-cups and storing them in the safe one by one. I'm waiting for my boss to call me Monday morning laughing her ass off. I'm not the smartest cat.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 /F] with my gf thing [28 /F] friends our whole lives, i'm married shes my best friend/ girl friend/ hetro life partner
POST: I'm a married 30/f i have a best friend who has been close to me for years, like since grade school.
well as of recently she has been down in the dumps depressed and blah blah blah well I, being the good friend that I am took her out on a date, I sent her flowers and bought her candy, bought her kids stuff took her to the amusement park, on and on, my thinking being don't be sad about not having a guy in your life I'll be there for you. Find sex where ever you want just get happy already!!!! It seemed to be working.
Fast forward, she gets a boy friend. She seems happy we're still hanging out on a regular basis and talking everyday.
My husband got sick :( I told her about it and about the situation. She said oh no and that was about it.
That was about a month ago.
My question is do I confront her? I mean what the hell? I lifted her up and tried my best to make her feel better and never once unloaded on her any of my problems, the one time i have anything go on in my life she bails on me!! my feeling are so hurt.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22m] I am with a girl who's lost her sister in January [22f]. I don't love her anymore. What do I do?
POST: We've been together for almost 3 years but I feel we started to become more and more distant for the last year or so. University ended in June and so I no longer see her that often, maybe once or twice a month and that's just for a meet up and a meal or something. She's an absolutely lovely girl.
We've been together for almost 3 years but I feel we started to become more and more distant for the last year or so. University ended in June and so I no longer see her that often, maybe once or twice a month and that's just for a meet up and a meal or something. She's an absolutely lovely girl.
I stopped loving her since the start of the year, my feelings just faded and I realized we don't have much to talk about when we see each other. I think I get on her nerves a bit if I say the wrong thing. But I feel like I should be her rock since her sister died from randomly unexpectedly in January. It's horrible and I feel like she's been in a really lonely place since then, and if I broke up with her she would collapse completely. The majority of her friends are my friends which makes it even worse.
I care about her a lot and her wellbeing, but I want to move on with my life, I want to be single so I don't have any dependencies. I just think I'm being selfish. She told me a while ago that if we ever broke up she wouldn't be able to speak to me ever again.
It's her birthday in a couple of weeks. So I'm making sure she'll have a great time then.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [25/f] Perhaps wrongly concerned about ex-boyfriend?
POST: Long story short, during our relationship he was in love with me. I didn't reciprocate. I had just gotten out of a very serious, very long relationship and *told* him I wasn't ready for something intense with him. But we'd been friends for years, and he really wanted to try "us".
He broke up with me shortly after saying "I love you" and getting "Oh" back. He started dating someone new the next day and they've been together for almost 8 months now.
Before our relationship (and during) we were close friends. We're both very reasonable, level headed people. I assumed that after a brief "break" we could be friends again. But when I attempted to resume contact (step 1: going to the same mutual-friend events and talking casually with him) I found out that his new girlfriend doesn't want him to talk to me. She's asked all of our mutual friends not to invite me if *they* are going to be there.
Some awful shenanigans resulted from this and our group of friends experienced some drama. I stepped back entirely and basically told him to either control his woman or tell me to fuck off *himself*. Don't send a messenger.
He apologized, but we haven't spoken since. I've heard from mutual friends that he never goes out anymore (without her) and that on the rare occasions they see him w/out her, he drinks to the point of blacking out.
My first time seeing him in four months was at my sister's wedding last weekend (sans girlfriend). He wouldn't speak to me at all, though I spent a lot of time with our mutual friends (all at the same table). Then he got blackout drunk and vomited in the parking lot for about an hour.
I don't know what's going on. He never used to drink like this. I feel like I can't be the one to ask him about it, all things considered. How can I handle this? I still care about him a lot. Am I being crazy?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever had a "WTF did I just do?!" moment that turned out better than expected?
POST: This is mine....I met her on Yahoo chat, we had been chatting semi regularly for a week or so. Nothing major, she had a BF and it was friends more than anything. A very casual and non flirty friendship. I should also mention she was hot as hell.
Well one Saturday night I was getting drunk with a friend and playing games. I got bored and jumped on chat and seen her on. I ask her why she wasn't out having fun on a Saturday night and she says her BF just broke up with her. This was followed by about 10 minutes of the room all saying stuff like "oh I'm sorry to hear that", "I feel for you", blah blah blah. I should also mention I was voice chatting... so I chuckle, cup my mic with my hand and turn to my friend and start talking shit about all the tenderhearted guys and said something along the line of "damn that, I'm happy hes out the way so i can start hitting it!". We talked shit for a good 2 minutes or so, we were drunk so it was pretty good/graphic too. When I turn back I see this on the screen...
**her:** OMG TURN OFF YOUR MIC!!!
**dude:** HAHA you dumbass!
**other dude:** you are a damn idiot hoodis!
**internet tough guy:** say that to my face asshole!
**her:** hoodis i thought you cared about me!
**hoodis:** oh shit...
Turns out i didn't cup it quite good enough. She signed off very shortly after. It was obvious I hurt her but I just shrugged it off, too drunk to care. The next day I started feeling bad about it so I emailed her an apology and offered to take her out the next weekend to make up for it. She took me up on my offer...
...3 years later our daughter was born and we just celebrated our 7 year anniversary in December.
**(
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I[23 F] asking too much of my boyfriend [27 M]?
POST: OK, so I have been with my boyfriend for around 18 months now, I even moved from the east coast to the west coast to be with him as he moved for his new job but things have gotten strained in our relationship and I was wondering if someone else could add an outside view of my problem?
Everything is fine normally with the relationship but every so often my boyfriend goes off on one about helping each other. For instance, I can't drive, so I sometimes ask him for a ride if he is heading in the direction I am. He will complain mercilessly about why can't I find my own way around places, I don't ask him to go out of his way or drop any activities for me but it seems like a total chore for him and asks why I never do anything to return the favour. I'll respond with a plethora of tasks I do around the house but he casts them aside saying they also are to my benefit as well so they don't count. I just can't win with him, am I being unreasonable? And can you think of anything I can do to make things better or why he is behaving like he is? Thank you in advance for your help!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Only been together 4 months (him, 27,male), not sure how I (23, F) feel.
POST: I'm used to being in an FWB situation, and this is one of my first relationships. We've been dating for about 4 months, and it's to the point where I feel like it's expected to be monogamous.
He's kind, intelligent, sweet, mature, and wonderful, but I just don't know if I *feel* anything for him. I like him, but I'm not giddy about him. I was under the impression that the first year of dating is when you're supposed to feel the strongest, but I just don't know. He's perfect for me, so why don't I feel anything? Am I jumping the gun by wondering if we should break up? I don't know if I just need to wait it out, or if waiting it out is prolonging a failed relationship.
A couple factors: 1) we only see each other once a week, since he's really busy with school and I've already graduated and 2) we have almost no alone time together due to housing situations. (Pesky roommates.)
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (22M) broke up with girlfriend. Now she (21F) wants to be back together and I'm not sure.
POST: Long story short:
My ex girlfriend, call her Sarah, and I broke up because I didn't feel she was putting effort fourth. During the few weeks we split, I met somebody new, call her Kate. Kate seems like everything I want out of a girl. Seems so perfect. And I figured I may give her a chance.
Then Sarah texted me. She wants me back. I think it could be better if I went back. She's already showing me more effort just in the way she's texting me and what she's saying. It kind of makes me want to go back.
But I'm afraid I could pass up something better for me with Kate. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lead either of them on.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by yelling at my condo's super and a smoke detector inspector.
POST: **As with most TIFUs, this happened a few months ago.**
Just some info before I begin: My sister has an annoying habit of knocking on the door non-stop like she's being chased by someone, or has to go to the washroom really badly, even when there's no emergency.
So, this happened in or before the summer (can't remember), and my internship had just finished, so I was either home all day, or going to work later on in the evening. That day, I was home alone, and just browsing the internet and Netflixing (no chilling), when I heard a knock on the door. I had barely stood up when I heard another loud knock, followed by another one, and another one (DJ Khaled style), and many more. I thought it was my sister knocking like a moron, so I yelled, "CALM THE HELL DOWN, DAWG! I'M COMING, MAN!" (Or something along those lines.) Then, I hear, "sorry, it's the super." Embarrassed, I open the door, and apologize profusely, explaining that I thought it was my sister, who always knocks like that. He also apologized for knocking a lot, and told me he was just here to test the smoke detectors. I think he was surprised, because we always say hello to each other, and I'm a pretty nice guy, so it may have been surprising to him to hear me yell like that. In case you're wondering, it's not awkward seeing each other, and I'm pretty sure he forgot about it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [24M] broke up with me [22F] as he wants to travel for four months - what do I do?
POST: I'm hoping for any words of encouragement or wisdom at this rubbish time!
Background: my BF and I have been together for a year (on and off seeing each other for two years before that and friends for 5 years).
A month ago he told me that he wanted to go backpacking with a friend for around four months. It was hard to hear, but I understood that after two years post-uni he felt like he needed to do something outside of his comfort zone.
Back in December we spoke and he said he wanted to stay with me during travelling. However insecurities etc. Have meant the last month has been difficult alongside the fact I've had my exams, he's been working 100+ hour weeks to pay for his travels.
On Monday he said he wanted to talk. I put on a brave face and said that I thought breaking up would be the best solution for both of us, but now I worry I was wrong. He made it clear that he hopes that when he comes back from travelling we can reunite and just be friends in the meanwhile, but I don't see how that will work.
I want to be with him and I love him deeply. I don't see as us breaking up will help our relationship.
Everyone has different views on LDRs but I struggle to see how I will heal during this time of "limbo" that he is suggesting.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [17/M] can't figure out if a friend [16/F] is interested in me
POST: First of all, I have had girlfriends, but I was always the one that showed interest first.
So, a couple of weeks back I started talking to this girl, who is a friend of A, another friend (he is important later on), for a cross-grades school project. While making it, she offered to basically be my assistant (the project involved almost 100 people and I was the "leader") and came over to my house to work.
While doing the project and running around like madmen, we noticed that we had a lot in common and became fast friends. We talked a lot in school and even smoked a bit of pot together with A.
This monday, I sent her a message saying that I was watching a movie she had insisted that I would love. Since then, we have continued the same conversation nonstop, both in messages and in public, which I thought was normal, and so did A (I asked him for advice), who said "she always does this".
But, yesterday, she had a party (dancing, alcohol, a bit of weed, hook-ups, the whole deal and a bit more, as her "crush" was there too) and she kept talking to me throughout it. Because of this, I think she might like me.
Am I reading too much into it? And, if I'm not, how should I proceed, being in the receiving end of these feelings?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am jealous of BF's [20M] ex [21F] and can't stop looking at her social media.
POST: My BF [20M] and I [22F] have been together 7 months. Previous to our relationship, we were best friends. When we first met in Summer 12' he was dating his now ex [21F]. His ex cheated on him several months later and he broke up with her. Flash forward to this past summer when we realized we were perfect for one another and fell in love.
Here's the thing: I cannot stop thinking about her or their past. I'm jealous of it, and I stalk her on social media. She seems like she was a much cooler person than I am, and she was quite thinner, too. I don't know why I can't stop wondering what her life is like or comparing her to me. I've been trying not to do this because it's toxic, but I can't help it, and I've never been jealous before.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to quit this? I don't want my bad habit of checking up on her to be an issue in our relationship.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [17/F] stop sabotaging my relationship and hurting the one I love [19 M]?
POST: We've been together since we met at college in October, and I consider him my best friend. He is the kindest, most genuine, and most loving person I've ever known. He's never done anything to intentionally hurt or take advantage of me in any way, and is completely faithful.
He tells me he loves me and demonstrates it in every way he can--taking care of me, bragging about me to his friends, pleasuring me, buying me gifts, helping me with homework, and supporting me no matter what. Basically, he's a wonderful person and a wonderful boyfriend.
I'd say 95% of the time, I treat him with the same consideration. The problem is that once in a while, I just "turn off", like a switch. I get really mad about pretty small things or even nothing and at least temporarily, I get a kick out of watching him get depressed. I don't yell or fight him, but I get cold and unforgiving and just quietly tell him the exact things that I know will break his heart. Today he fumbled a compliment, telling me I'm really attractive "for an Asian girl." I told him that was racist, but then I went even further, telling him that I was disappointed in him and had lost respect for him before ditching him to hang out with some other guys.
He had tears in his eyes as he tried to apologize and I feel bad now. I was cruel to my last boyfriend too, especially when I broke up with him. I think I've learned this kind of behavior from my mother: she always relished having the upper hand. I love this guy very much and I don't want to hurt him anymore.
Please understand, this is a part of my personality that will take time and effort to "fix". I just need some guidance.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [25/M] worried about my SO [23/M] being overwhelmed by my boisterous family [2 years together]
POST: My family is generally quite loud, especially when we're all together. My father and mother [60s] are both retired military, along with my father's two closest friends (I consider them my uncles), and I have two brothers - my twin Elijah, and my older brother George [28]. George has a five year old, Jack, who is a wonderful little boy but is obviously the center of attention at family gatherings, especially Christmas, and can get very excited. Individually we're generally pretty calm and collected, but get us all together and we can get very loud. I'm not above wrestling my brothers, father or uncles for supremacy. It's how we show affection.
My SO, Harry, on the other hand, came from an emotionally distant family that rarely talks and lives in the four corners of the earth. He's quiet and shy, and I'm worried about him feeling overwhelmed or out of place among a bunch of super loud military guys. He's met my parents and Elijah individually and they got along great, but hasn't had to deal with the whole clan all at once. I've told him some stories about our crazier antics, but I don't want him to be completely overwhelmed by all of us. He's already worrying that no one is going to like the gifts he got...
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I (22m) a horrible person for requiring sex in a relationship?
POST: I recently got into a new relationship with a girl (21f) who it turns out is a virgin. We've been together for 3 months now and I'm quite in love with her (she is as well), but no sex. I've told her numerous times that there's no rush and that we'll have sex whenever she's ready, but lately she has been beginning to think that she wants to be abstinent (or at least be abstinent in our relationship). I told her that while I can wait until she's ready, I can't be in a relationship where there will be explicitly no sex. Now she's accusing me of not really loving her and just wanting her for her body. Am I a horrible person for wanting a consummate relationship?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being greedy
POST: This actually happened 30 minutes ago.
I'm a (cigarettes) smoker and live in a country where cigarettes are expensive as hell. As I often travel to Asia for business I often bring back a few cartons (allowance is one). Since I'm the business travel type of suit-wearing dude I never get checked at border control so this has become a habit.
Until today, that is. So I land after a hemorrhoid-inducing 13 hour flight and hurry to grab by bag so I can go have a smoke. On to the belt where I see my luggage arriving and immediately notice a large crack in the casing.
So I go to the baggage investigations desk and file a complaint. In order to do this however I have to pass next to the border control.
At the baggage desk we fill out all forms and they take me to a back room where I can take a new trolley. I give the girl there my nicest smile and am very polite so she offers me any trolley I like from the same brand. Even though they have my exact model, I choose a classier one which also happens to be bigger. After all, size matters. I quickly move my sh!t from the old trolley to the new one, manage to also fit my laptop bag in and leave.
This is where the FU happens. When passing border control again, I get immediately pulled aside as they noticed my different bag. I show them the papers from the baggage desk but they decide to search my bag anyway.
Had 3 cartons, 2 got confiscated and had to pay a fine. Fuck you, karma.
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SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Want to start running, have a few questions!
POST: Hi reddit!
I was hoping you could answer a few of my questions!
(I should mention that yes, I've read the FAQ and done some searching, and I still have questions. I hope that's okay.)
Here's the thing: I'm 19, turning 20 soon, and I'd like to shape up a bit. I'm starting to get chubby and my stamina is as bad as it can be. I'm not overweight yet, but I figure that since I do nothing but sit on my ass in my spare time and play games that's just a matter of time.
I'm too lazy and it's too inconvenient, and I'm too much of a hermit, to go to the gym, but I want to move more, so for the last few weeks I have considered buying a treadmill. That way I can walk/jog/run while watching a movie or playing a game.
Is buying a treadmill something you would recommend for me? Would it be a good way to get some exercise and stay healthy? I'm not in it to be buff, I want to work on my stamina and stay slim.
To clarify the treadmill will, for now at least, be my only workout. No gym or other exercises.
Sorry for writing a novel.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU, By ignoring my Dad, who wanted to go to a motorcycle show with me.
POST: MY Dad Asked me twice If I wanted to go to a motorcycle show with him **TWICE**.
Both yesterday and today He asked me if I wanted to go to a motorcycle show with him. He asked today and I told Him I had Plans to go hangout with a friend for his birthday, which was the truth. However it turned out that those plans fell thought and "We''ll do something this week", was the reality of those birthday plans. I ended up trying to study out of the house.
The Day before Dad asked If I wanted to go to the motorcycle show (I thought He just asked If I wanted to go Sunday, apparently He asked if I wanted to go Saturday according to my mother.) and I told him the same thing. Well I reminded by my mother what a horrible son I am, because He really wanted to go. However because I didn't He didn't have anyone to go with and didn't end up going. Did I mention It's his birthday the 29th?
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SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: So... You like to burn bridges huh? How about I help you out, there...
POST: So, this guy used to work at the same place I did but was fired for missing a bunch of shifts and other stupid shit. I didn't know him too well, but he seemed like a decent enough human being, so I befriended him.
Fast forward a few weeks after his firing. We chat on FB and he's telling me what his life has been like since he was "unfairly" terminated, and how much he hates the company and a lot of vulgar and graphic obscenities that I'd have to add a NSFW tag to this post.
Sometime last week he made a post on his wall about how much he misses the company and has always loved it and can't wait until he joins the employment ranks at said company again.
I couldn't help myself... I posted a comment along the lines of *I thought you said you hated this company and that they could |expletive, expletive|*
Within seconds the comment was taken down and I was PMed about why I would make stuff up like that. I jogged his memory of the instances he dissed the company. He told me how it was his dream job. I laughed to myself.
The conversation took a downward spiral when he threatened my well being, put me down, and all around bridge torcher. He made darn certain he didn't want me as a virtual friend anymore.
I didn't take too kindly to that so, as my petty revenge I took screen caps of our PMs together at every spot he dissed the company and the threats he laid into me. Afterwards I posted a comment, with him tagged along with the screen caps.
Moral of the story? Don't dis n piss.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [27F] going to a wedding with my [29M] boyfriend; an ex-hookup [30sM] will be there. Should I tell him?
POST: About three years ago I was friends with a group of people, mostly guys. I don't really keep in touch with them anymore, but I'm still friends with one of the girls and she invited me to her wedding!
When we were all friends three years ago, I ended hooking up with one of the guys. First time make-out, second time sex. Him and I were never really friends and never really talked before or after it happened. We generally avoided each other after it happened. As things tend to go everyone in the group eventually found out that we did it. While a tiny bit awkward, I don't really mind. If I ever hung out with the group after that, it became a joke.. something one or two people would quietly tease me about if we were drinking.
Fast forward to now! That group still hangs out but I'm not part of it. We will all be at the wedding. I'm pretty excited that I have a boyfriend I can invite and show off. It will be fun for us to attend together and I can avoid feeling like the odd woman out with this group. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months and he has never met anyone in the group. Maybe he will meet the bride before the wedding, I dunno. I really care about him but am not sure if I should clue him in on my history with that one guy.
I'm afraid if I don't say anything beforehand, someone might make a joke about it that he hears. I could explain if that happens but wouldn't want him to think I was hiding anything or feel stupid for being in the dark about something other people know about. On the other hand, if I tell him, I guess I would just say that I hooked up with one of the guys but that we never dated and it wasn't a big deal. However, then I would have to point him out, or tell my bf his name, and he would likely be on the lookout for said guy during the wedding. I feel like that would make a much bigger deal out of it and might provide unnecessary awkwardness and emotions.
What should I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex {24M} won't send my {28F} things. Can I take legal action?
POST: So I moved out of my ex's almost a month ago now. We were together almost 4 years. I went from Canada to the states. I had some things there that I could not take with me right away but with certain financial arrangements my ex said he would ship them to me. There wasn't much.
One thing in particular was my computer. He said he would ship it out the week I left. Keep in mind this move happened pretty quickly. Also even though we broke up usually my ex is still a trustworthy person, or so I thought.
Well, that week passed and he did not send me my computer. He made excuses as to why. More time has passed and he keeps telling me in emails that he will do it as soon as he can but it's getting harder to believe him even though he said it's packed and ready but he just won't do it for god knows what reason.
Since about a month has passed now and I'm getting increasingly frustrated, especially because I have information on that computer that I need to apply for jobs in my new area. I'm wondering if any of you would know if I would be able to take legal action against him for not sending me my property as he has clearly stated he would many times. I still have all the emails.
I'm just getting really sick of dealing with this crap right now and I'm going out of my mind. Believe me, I would of loved to of been able to ship it and the rest of my things before I left but due to many reasons I could not and I had made certain arrangements with him. These are not going well as you can see.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33F] with my boyfriend [34 M] of 2 yrs-wants to kick me out of apartment, take away infant
POST: My boyfriend and I have had lots of ups and downs over the past two years including having a nearly one year old daughter. Things have lately become quite turbulent and while they are at a cease fire as of right now, can flare up. Reading some of his messages to others recently, he has said to them about how he is going to take me off the lease, and take my daughter away. How likely is he to do this? I'm the one that works and pays for everything. The vehicle we share is also mine. Technically, he has no job, no house, and no vehicle. He wants to take away the baby because he says I am mentally unstable. I need to know how to protect myself in the case he feels the need to start things up again.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/18] have been in a relationship with my gf [18] for over year, yet i now feel guilty.
POST: Hi /r/relationships,
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 14 months now and its my first serious relationship. Things have been going well over the past year or so. Now, this is going to sound weird, but i have started to talking to girl [17] i met online a lot and playing computer games with her. We share similar interests, more-so than my gf and i just feel we have a better bond. In no way is anything going to come of it as we are unlikely to see each other within the near future yet when i am with my gf, i just feel guilty that when i spend time with my gf that i enjoy talking to someone else more than her.
Furthermore, recently, me and gf have been having minor trivial arguments which i just do not really want to deal with. I can see this relationship ending in the summer due to university and moving away but i don't really know what to do for the time being.
Thanks for the help guys and girls!
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SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [Help] My dog is picky about her food and I need help.
POST: My GSD/Malamute is a picky eater.
Weight: 88lbs
Stats: Female, Spayed, 2.5 years old.
Currently she's on 4 cups a day (2 cups in the morning, two at night) of Hills Ideal balance Chicken and Brown Rice.
She has started having issues with her anal glands and the vet said put her on a high-fiber diet, try sweet potatoes, and pumpkin.
For the past week she has gotten a tablespoon of pumpkin in her food, with some water, and a little bit of milk.
She will *not* eat unless there's a little bit of milk in her food. However, she usually has to be coerced into eating. She doesn't seem to like the food and only eats because she has to.
I am at a loss of what to do. I am looking at high-fiber foods, but they seem to be more expensive than I can afford.
I have another dog, a 2.5 year old, GSD/Lab, 122 pounds. She also gets 4 cups a day, with water and pumpkin (no milk). She has to be on a diet because she is a cow.
I need help with a solution that is both cost effective (Ideal balance via amazon subscribe and save is $37-40, of which I have to buy 2 bags a month to feed these monsters) and will get my princess eating again - without the attitude.
She is medically fine, other than her anal glands. She's pretty active, not as much as she'd like to be, but it's also 100+ here in Southern California and she's a heat bitch like her mom.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Is it too late to try hard in school and get into a good college?
POST: I'm in my Junior year of highschool and I really only started taking things seriously when some of my friends got early acceptance into good colleges. In my freshmen and first half of sophmore i really didnt care and was content with a 3.33 gpa but then i wanted to do better. So in my second sememster of sophmore year i attained a 3.8 gpa. I was unable to take any ap classes this year and my first semester gpa was still only a 3.8. If i take all ap's and a bunch of extra curriculars next year, do i still have a chance to get into a college like Emory?
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My best (f)riend just told me she wants to kiss me?
POST: I'm a 16 year old male and she's a 16 years old too.
my best friend, me and her literally can talk about anything with eachother.
Well we got in to a conversation about how I haven't had my first kiss yet. After she heard that she suddenly had an attitude shift and tells me "That makes me want to kiss you..."
First off she has had a boyfriend for about 7 months or so and tells me that, I'm totally fine and I get it's natural but I don't exactly know what it means; does it mean she sees me as a potential boyfriend? Are women just more attracted to men who haven't done anything sexually (I hear all the time and from a few of my friends in college that if someone finds out you're a virgin girls will try to take your virginity from you in an instant)? Am I not in the friendzone? We decided not to go ahead with it because she cares about her boyfriend and both she and I would feel guilty about it. I'm just super curious about what this means.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] found out that my fiance [26 M] invited another girl to a party but never bothered to tell me about the party at all.
POST: So, I guess I should give some back story here. My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. Recently my fiance has made friends with the people who live near us in our apartment complex. These people are between the ages of 18-20. Not old enough to drink legally, but old enough to throw parties to 3AM and ask older people to buy them alcohol. My fiance was really into partying and being reckless when he was younger and after meeting and dating me has grown out of it.
However, this past year has been strained since it feels like he is regressing. He's been wearing his lip ring again, he's been smoking a lot of pot and been kind of an asshole lately.
I found out a couple weeks ago that he'd been texting some girl I had never met back and forth far more frequently than we text. She frequently sends him MySpace angled selfies comprised of her humongous cleavage and orc face. Of course, I confronted him about it and he claims that she's "just a friend" and that they met through work. I smell bullshit, but I let it slide because I give him the benefit of the doubt.
Yesterday, I was playing 2048 on his phone and see a text pop up from his "friend" and find out that he invited her to his work's xmas party but never bothered to tell me. This pisses me off, so I confront him about it and he claims that he was going to tell me when it got closer to when the party would be. However, he decides to be unapologetic about it and be a general douche to me for the rest of the evening claiming that I'm overly paranoid and being a bitch about the entire ordeal.
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] am trying to start from scratch. What are relationships really like?
POST: **Background:** My parents (inadvertently I hope) restricted development of my social skills. We never discussed social skills, drinking, drugs, relationships or sex. The Talk: Sex is embarassing. Don't do it until you can afford children. My parents act pretty much like roommates that just happen to be married. That's what I thought romantic relationships were like until recently.
I've made very few friendships after age 14. I know I was a bad friend. No relationship experience/knowledge and have never socialized with girls. A hug at 14 is the closest I've gotten to a sexual experience. Developed social anxiety along the way (likely avoidant).
**Discovering Reddit:** I guess it's been about a year now. This was a huge wake up call for me. I started my improvement: lost about 60lbs, clothes, hair, new sport, joined a few clubs, read a few self help books etc. Basically, the low hanging fruit. But saw little improvement.
I was shocked at how wrong I perceived relationships and at how much I've missed out on in the last 10 years. I didn't know people commonly had sex in high school or that it was a major part of a typical relationship. I am not sure if I would have handled discovering that information too well while trying to date. So you probably save a few girls major headaches, thanks Reddit :)
**Now:** Reddit has convinced my to seek professional help for my anxiety. I was started on an SSRI and have had 6 sessions so far. So we've kinda got an idea of what is going on. I now realize how long this road back really will be.
I have been struggling to set realistic goals, which is why I am here. I am still confused about romantic relationships and their benefits. What are the different style/types like? Expected behaviors or social norms for both parties? I am really looking an overview possibilities for some context.
So I'd love anything you've got. Book suggests, previous posts, personal experiences, advice etc. Thanks
TL;DR: |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How can I [f/23] get my bf [m/26] to talk to me?
POST: We've been together for two years and LD for the last 9 months. I feel like I'm the clingy, needy girlfriend when I talk about my feelings and say that I miss him. I admit that I need a lot of affection and I really need the feeling of being loved and when I don't get that feeling I'm upset very quickly.. then I try to talk to him about my feelings (via fb or something like that) and it's like he doesn't take my feelings seriously.. even when I ask him what he thinks about it or what he wants, he'd simply say "I don't know".
I just feel blocked out and it's almost impossible for me to talk to him about his feelings or his thoughts about our relationship. When I talk about it I can say what I want.. I just get the feeling to make it worse with every word I say. I'm afraid to be clingy and needy and annoying because I want to talk about our feelings seriously.
Normally it goes like this: I say how I feel and what I want.. then nothing from him (mostly).. then I panic and apologize for being clingy and needy but saying that I love and miss him and that it's hard for me when he is not with me and that I need to have the feeling that he loves me when we can't see each other so often. Then he would say "it's ok and I'm not mad" but he doesn't really talk about it.. he just blocks everything.
So how can I deal with this? I really want to talk about my feelings and his feelings in particular because I really don't know what he feels or thinks about it.
I'm tense most of the time because sometimes I'm even afraid to say I love you because I think he might just run away..I try to keep myself busy but sometimes I get so upset that I can't think about anything else..
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do you do when your relationship has an expiration date? (moving in - drama)
POST: Hey guys, I made a throwaway account for this.
Anyway, some background: I'm 24, i've been in a relationship with a 22-year old girl for exactly two years now.
I'm currently studying my second degree, after getting a Masters but not finding any jobs. I'm pretty much constantly broke.
Despite this, she loves and supports me every step of the way, even though she often pays stuff for me, which gives me immense guilt (she's already working).
For a while now, she has been pestering me to come live with her as soon as possible.
She has an entire plan worked out for her (and now our) future, involving me moving in with her, and saving up for and buying a house as soon as possible.
I can't do this for a number of reasons: I'm not ready to leave home just yet, i have no money to stand on my own feet, and her house is a tiny two-room house, while i need a place to work in peace, and her overstuffed bedroom/attic just won't do.
This almost caused her to break up with me a month or two ago, and in my panic and despair i hurriedly agreed to a new deal: she wants me to move in with me this February (she can be very bossy).
She mentions this fact very often lately, especially now we've just celebrated our two-year anniversary.
Tonight she repeated what the "deal" was: "move in with me in February or never move in with me at all."
This means that I've got about half a year left with her.
What do I do? I really love her to bits, but her demands are impossible to meet...
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SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Finally ran for 2 minutes flat out!
POST: Hey everyone, long time lurker here.
Basically I'm 26/f/5'7" and was 239lbs on 28th April this year.
When I was 18/19 years old I was around 126lbs, but then I started working in a call centre full time, and well life happened and the pounds just kept coming!
I snapped and decided enough is enough. My mum was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I KNEW I was walking the exact same path.
So now, after eating healthy and going to the gym 5 times per week for almost a month, I've lost 8lbs but more importantly (I think) I've lost 4.5% body fat.
Today was a breakthrough day for me personally. I've been doing interval training on the treadmill, walking for 2 mins and running for 1 etc. But today ...today, as the timer past the 1 minute of running time, I kept going. I kept going and realised I could make it to 2 minutes.
I know this seems really small, but for me, I actually couldn't believe it, and couldn't help but have the biggest grin on my face when i realised MY body, my ridiculous, badly treated body, was finally responding to the work I was doing. It was working.
So basically I wanna say I've loved reading your stories of personal achievement and for everyone - keep going! It works. I feel like a million dollars even though I have a lonnnng way to go :]
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My[30/m] wife[27/f] seems to be in denial about problems in our marriage.
POST: So we have been having problems off and on for about a year now. Most recently I found her "sexting" with other guys through a chat app on her phone... This was something I felt with time, we could work through...
That was about 6 weeks ago, and things have progressively gotten worse. Last week she got a ride home from her friend's husband... at 1 O'oclock in the morning. I wasn't overly concerned with it, but the next day I seen he had been texting her for awhile after he dropped her off and later that morning. He said things like *" i'll smack that ass"* and *"I'm here if you need a proper spanking"*. So we get into it over this. She tells him the next day that I got upset about it and he says he was just joking...
She continues to text him daily and doesn't see any problem with this.
Am I the crazy one or is it justified to feel this is inappropriate?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm his 1st girlfriend at 32 years old.
POST: 35, 2 months. I recently had a stupid fight (guilt on both sides) with my boyfriend and he ended the relationship. I have since apologized and poured my heart out to reconcile and he has completely stonewalled me. This was not an argument that should end any relationship. I am his 1st girlfriend ever and he is 32 years old. My guess is this a defense mechanism since he really doesn't know how to deal. I really want him back even though I know this will probably be an issue but he won't communicate with me at all. Is there a good way to get through to him?
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Going to be looking for apartments soon, need some advice.
POST: I started my new job in Manhattan a little while ago, and I'm making $38k base but will most likely be making something around 42k with bonuses by the end of my first year. I'm currently living in my aunt's house rent free. I pay for everything else like food and transportation (I don't have a car here yet).
Me and my friend (been at the same company for a month longer) have been talking about moving into a place for a while now. He wants to start going on apartment tours sometime in November, and we want to move in around January.
Any advice on what we should be doing to maybe getting something terribly expensive. My friend is pretty set on living in Manhattan, Queens, and Hoboken. Those places are pretty expensive considering we're both going to be making around the same amount of money.
I've suggested places in New Jersey and he shut that down real quick. I also have a cousin who would maybe want to live with us, but she wants to stay in Jersey. I know I would have to save a ridiculous amount of money to afford an apartment, due to the upfront costs, brokers fee, and security deposits.
Any advice on more things I can do to try and make this more cost effective?
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