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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30/F] & my difficult to live with roomate [28/F] - she is driving me crazy with her constant complaining and needing to control everything.
POST: I have been living with my roomate and her boyfriend since July. They both seem to be happy living with me and always tell everyone how I am the best roomate, etc.
I on the other hand, hate living with her.
**Examples:**
- She keeps the windows open even though we live in Canada and it is freezing and it is fucking up the heating system in the building so the guys in the apartment downstairs have to turn the heat down so they don't overheat, since we share the heating system. I have to keep my bedroom door closed and light a million candles and have a duvet and two fleece blankets to stay warm.
- She has her room (which she is never in) and pretty much controls the living room where her and her boyfriend sleep on the couches and are in there 24/7. My friends think they are weirdos and get uncomfortable coming over because my weird bitchy roomate is always watching tv with her boyfriend in the living room and we have to awkwardly hang out in my bedroom.Her boyfriend also has a room they don't use - it's even bigger than the living room and they just use it for storage.
How do I talk to her about how uncomfortable I am? Our other roomate moved out because of this but lied and said it was because he had a better apartment to go to.
Anytime I have tried to subtly bring it up that she is shitty she just gets really defensive and mean. She does know she isn't a good person, but seems to think she is the best roomate ever. I'm so confused about to do! I can't afford to move out.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Obnoxious drunk girlfriend: what do?
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for a little over five years. She is really awesome in every way except one: she gets obnoxious when she's drunk.
It wasn't a big deal early in the relationship, because she never used to drink often, but she's going through a bit of a crisis with graduating from college and leaving her friends behind, so she drinks heavily three or four nights a week right now (probably a phase, not at all worried about her becoming an alcoholic/I did the same thing when I graduated last year).
When she drinks, 1) she gets simultaneously more clingy/PDA-y and less sexy, 2) she acts horny until we're alone, at which time she passes out, and finally (and this is what really bothers me...) 3) she makes uncomfortable and fairly frequent digs at me over whatever little thing we happened to disagree about a few days ago, often in front of our friends. It wouldn't be a big deal if she drank a little, but she very often drinks to get really drunk. It's really annoying, to the point where I don't even go out drinking with her anymore, I just say, "ok have fun" and hang out with my friends. I think she suspects I feel this way, which makes it even worse, because "You don't even like me when I'm drunk" has become standard for #3 above.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M], need to end it with my short-term GF [26 F]... nicely.
POST: Met a girl about a month and half ago. By the second date we were officially together. Incredibly fast, 100% my fault. She's crazy about me, I'm barely attracted to her. I can see things are not going to work out. She's not quite my type and has some personality quirks that I don't want to deal with, but she's one of the nicest girls I've ever met and goes out of her way to do everything for me. I want to break up, and minimize the hurt and inevitable drama.
She's currently out of the country, visiting parents for two weeks. To complicate things further, I just met another girl that I'm very interested in. Nothing has happened, but we've gone out on dates. I hate feeling like I'm cheating, so the faster I can end things, the better.
To complicate things further, I've got a few of her articles of clothing I need to give back.
Options:
1. Wait for her to come back from her trip. Pick her up at the airport with flowers (like I would do in any case), drive her home, end it in the car. Likely receive said flowers to the face.
2. Do it over the phone (well, WhatsApp voice messages is the only form of communication we have) - incredibly lame and I feel that she deserves better.
3. ??
Any suggestions/opinions? Specifically from women - what's the least shitty way of ending things?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20f) and my partner (22m) of 1 year, hes addicted to other females
POST: Throwaway, obviously.
My boyfriend and I have been together for some time now, the relationship started after a long friendship and progressed to more.
It wasn't the easiest start and we have fought through a lot together, he is the love of my life and soon to be father of my baby (I had a 10% chance of ever falling pregnant. Huge surprise but very excited)
There is only one issue I have, I've noticed his facebook, snapchat, instagram is FILLED with naked girls. He adds them and they send him extremely innapropriate videos and photos. He doesn't respond that I've noticed but he gets them a LOT and its always after I go to bed that he gets them.
Being that I'm pregnant, I feel that he is not attracted to growing me and I'm unsure of if he talks to them when I go to sleep.
I've asked and he says no, he doesn't even look at them he just adds them "because, I dunno", Other times he swears its a mess up and he never added them.
I am NOT breaking up with him as I know he isn't cheating on me but it really bothers me, I feel unwanted and feel like he will eventually leave me for someone like that, even though he swears he won't and that he's marrying me.
Reddit, what should/can I do? Should I just suck it up?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ok so cliche (I don't understand women) moving on...
POST: I [M/18] wants to know what this reactions means. So the back story is I told this [F/18] friend of mine I liked her through text (I hate texting;love actual verbal communication) this year I also told her I liked her when I 1st met her anyway she responds she's shocked doesn't know what to say the usual so since I never ask a girl out through text I ask if we can talk she answers tomorrow...next day arrives no text/call to meet that day. Fast forward it's been almost a week no communication what so ever (I see her almost every other day) she avoids me but today I decide to try to get some response so a wave/smile instead she talks to a buddy of mine but no comment to me no "lets talk about this" or anything I mean what does she want? Anyway I've been thinking of just saying forget I said anything and getting a straight answer from her so I can move away from this already.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just spent the last hour scrubbing my cabinets down with raw lemons. Reddit what are some crazy ways you've been able to get rid of nose wrenching smells? Can you help me?
POST: Just moved into a new apartment with my boyfriend only to discover the overwhelming stench of a dead, decaying, and rotting substance that had been in the cabinets previously. The previous owners of our apartment were definitely not clean people, and that's an understatement. We're paying $950 a month for our one bedroom and I would really love the cabinets to not smell like shit and if any of you can help me out it would be greatly appreciated.
We have tried countless things in order to try to remove the smell including bleach, baking soda, vinegar, 409, windex, dawn dishsoap and now rubbing raw lemons and letting lemon juice soak into them. (Along with taking them all apart and washing each individual piece with dawn, vinegar and scrubbing baking soda into them.) They are wood, so I thought removing a smell that has most likely been in there for a long time would be tough, but not this hard. I've called the maintenance people that work on our apartment and they came by for three minutes, smelled the cabinets and laughed at me because they stuck their noses in there for two seconds and decided it didn't smell. I have no idea how they didn't smell it, but trust me it's there. They said they would have someone else come by and take a look at it, but it has been a week and no one has bothered to come by or contact me. Calling back today, I asked what they suggested and again they scoffed at me when I asked about getting new cabinets put in because both my boyfriend and I are unable to deal with the smell. (It even leaks onto our plates so we end up having to wash all of our dishes before using them.) They said they didn't smell anything.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: For additional $160 a month, I can live without random roommates. Is it worth it?
POST: In the fall I'll be going into my junior year at university. I'm currently living in a four-bedroom on-campus apartment with roommates I knew from high school. One is moving away, one is moving off-campus, and the other is graduating. This leaves me with the unit and no roommates.
If I renew, I'll have three random roommates. Obviously this could be no problem, but it could also be really bad. I'm a very solitary person and meeting new people is extremely draining on me. I'm also a very hard worker and always need a quiet environment, but because of social anxiety it's hard for me to ask people to quiet down and be considerate, so if they're loud odds are it'll impact my studying.
I'm on a scholarship right now and I'm not paying anything for housing, but it just covers the four bedroom unit. I'm looking into the 1 bedroom unit which would cost me about another $160 a month for the four months I'm on campus, for a total of about $1280 for the year. I work two meagerly-paying on-campus jobs and make about $600 a month on a good month.
Do you think it's worth considering paying the $160 out of pocket for privacy and peace of mind?
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I need a great DIY gift for my Mom and Dad this Christmas...
POST: I don't know if this is the place to post this, but I really loved making gifts the past year (since I started this year to get into DIY things) for my parents, so I want to do it again this Christmas (and I can't find anything else online). I'm looking for something that I can make without a sewing MACHINE, I can sew myself a little. Also, no wood shop, mostly because there is nowhere where I can do this. Also, the cheaper the better, and the more thoughtful the better. My Mom is an especial suck up for this stuff, and my dad is more limited. Maybe something themed more towards hard work or payoff, but it's not a big deal.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [29/F] is a heavy drinker but not an alchoholic? Is there a difference??
POST: I have known this girl for a while and she always liked to drink, but I never really knew how much until recently.
She averages around 6 to 7 glasses a wine a night whenever i visit her (around 4 days a week) and her housemate which is pretty much a bottle, sometimes more.
Whenever I ask if she's drunk, she'll deny it and say she's just "tipsy" which is funny to me because I thought just being "tipsy" doesn't cause you to run into walls, nearly fall down stairs and slur your speech to a point of babbling.
Oh, and I get a total shit show whenever I hint that I think she drinks too much and usually get accused to being judgemental, insensitive etc.
She claims she's just a heavy drinker and not an alchoholic.
Before I put my foot in my mouth, I have to ask if there's really a difference?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Sneaking suspicions.
POST: So me (M 22) and my girlfriend ( F 20) have been dating for seven months now. We're at college and everything has been going fine, up until this semester. We had a lot of fights and some of them were caused because of my jealousy.
She is pretty close with her coworker as they get along very well, and he has made it clear that he was interested in her before we started dating. Anyways fast forward to last night, I had a sneaking suspicion that something was up, and so I went through her texts. I know that they text each other because they are on the same staff, yet the last message sent was two days ago. Obviously she erased their previous conversation because they have been working together since August. I confronted her and she very calmly said she erases her messages sometimes. I let it go at the time because I guess I just wanted to be good with her, but now it is bothering me so much.
Why just his thread? She has messages from last year and yet his thread was erased. Not sure on how I should approach this. I dropped it because I thought I was being irrational but I don't know. I also know it was wrong of me to go through her phone. She was upset but not too upset about that.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by commenting on an old lady that my girlfriend was talking about
POST: So this happened as of now.. my first fuck up in like a while I guess. So I was having my dinner and my girlfriend calls. I pick up the phone and immediately run to the kitchen and wash my hands and then rush to my room to talk. So we are talking about our day and my girlfriend randomly brings up this old lady that likes to watch bollywood movies and likes to watch men with hot bodies in Indian movies. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking and this is what I reply with.. I think those men excite her and maybe shes very active down there. Girlfriend gets furious and says bye. Shes not returning my calls and texts, I know I am wrong but I didn't mean it seriously like that :( I am sorry.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29/M] sister [32/F] is marrying her partner and I'm not sure what is expected of me
POST: Kind of awkward wording so I will elaborate. My sister [32/F] is marrying her partner [DontKnowAge/F]. They got together shortly before moving to the other side of the country so I have only met her partner once but they will be moving back here in the future. Honestly I'm not even sure how long they've been together.
I'm not incredibly socially competent so usually when there is a major change in my life I turn to google for answers but I'm coming up dry here. I want my FSiL to feel welcome in the family but I am, by nature, fairly distant socially and generally only speak to my family once per month or longer. Not out of bad blood but just because I don't have anything to say.
My current strategy has been to do what my sister asks of me but I don't take initiative to do things on my own (as pertaining to their relationship).
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Currently unemployed: Concerned my qualifications won't get me an opportunity (or income)
POST: I'm in my 40's and was a Systems Analyst, specializing in a few systems (HP Asset Manager mainly)...
My skillset contains a LOT of different useful things like HTML, ASP.NET, VB, SQL, etc...
But I just can't see how to apply for anything that doesn't say "HP Asset Manager"
ASP.NET and HTML jobs are all wanting me to jump through hoops and code from scratch in a test and I don't test well... My life for the past several years has been to be presented with a system that I need to figure out; which I am quite good at...
The thing I'm asking is: do I apply for anything I think I'd like to be considered or will I only annoy any potential recruiters?
I am disheartened and afraid: two things that don't lend themselves to gaining employment...
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally burning my school books
POST: This happened about a month ago and I'm still wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I did this
So I was having a pretty bang average day, just walking home after school when I noticed my bag felt a bit damp. I noticed the back of my blazer was pretty damp too. So I opened up my bag to see what was going on. I saw that the yogurt pot had opened itself up and spilled strawberry yogurt all over my books. Not good.
So i ran home, went straight to the kitchen and wiped off all the yogurt with tissues. After I'd finished I noticed my books were all moist. This would not do.
This is when I thought i'd get rid of the dampness by evaporating it. So I started putting a few of the dampest books in the oven. I turn the oven on go watch some T.V expecting the oven to make my books nice and dry.
A couple of minutes later I hear the door bell and its my mum whos just come back from work. She asks how my days been and I tell her about my yogurt predicament. She laughs it off and asks how I fixed it. I proudly tell her of my ingenious solution.
A look of horror engulfs her face and she runs to the kitchen. i go with her wondering whats wrong. This is when I notice my Fuck Up. The books are on fire inside the oven. This is not good. Im not thinking right now and just open the oven door and grab my burning geography book and throw it out of the window. I continued to do this until all the books were out. After I'm finished I look at my mum to try and explain what happened she just gives me that 'What the fuck have I given birth to' look and walks away.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Apartment-mate advice
POST: Hi Reddit.
I live w/ my fiance and two other guys. The two guys share a room. Guy 1 made these dumplings that smelled like rotting meat or moldy cheese. It smelled so bad I left the common area to go to the room I share w/ my fiance, and almost puked. The whole area outside our room still smells, and he cooked 2 hours ago. I have no idea what was in it, but my fiance asked and Guy 1 said chicken and veggies. Any idea why it smelled so rancid? He said it tasted fine... or any idea on how to get rid of the stink? Febreeze won't do anything, and the fan has been on and windows open for awhile now...
Guy 2 (we think) also pees on the floor in front of the toilet and we don't know how to politely approach that topic. Any ideas?
We talked to Guy 1 about the food and stuff, but the pee puddle was a lot larger tonight (size of a desert plate, previously quarter sized) and it was the first time it was confirmed as pee. Just looking for a way to say hey, stop pissing on the floor (since I'm the only girl, and it isn't my fiance).
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[29f] just met a guy recently I really like, found out he[32m] has a GF, but acts very single
POST: Reddit, I need your help. I met this guy through a casual get together where you can meet other people in the area and network. He seemed like a true gentleman, and I really enjoyed talking to him and being around him. He would flirt a lot too. The way he looked me, he would also touch my leg and we would play fight. The way he hugged me goodbye was also flirty. We also exchanged numbers, and I was told he is single. He also made a mentioned as to he never has anyone to go with him to do things, so he normally ends up going alone. He has made mention that he would love to go and do things with me.
I was excited to spend more time with him. Yesterday, I wanted to see if he had Facebook because I took pictures the last time we went out and I wanted to add him as a "friend". I found him on Facebook, but I saw that he had "in a relationship" as his status. My heart immediately sank. I scrolled down his timeline, and he posted this back in May.
I don't know what to do. I'll see him again tomorrow with friends. Should I ask him if he has a girlfriend and bring it up in conversation? He has never mentioned her. He acts very single. I feel like I snooped, and I shouldn't have. Then again, why would he act so single when he is in a relationship? I feel like you can't ever trust anyone you meet. It hurts. Reddit, what would you do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] and my childhood friend [25 F] of 15 years hardly see each other. Should I even bother trying to keep our friendship alive?
POST: We met in grade 6 and kept in contact constantly even in high school where we went to different schools.
After high school I saw her less and less but I have always tried to keep in contact.
Fast forward to now. I haven't seen her since winter and she doesn't even call anymore. I have invited her to my house parties and she always says she will go but never does and doesn't even leave me a text saying she can't make it.
The last time that happened was last Saturday for my birthday party and I even called her last Sunday to hang out with her. I asked her again then if she was still coming and she said yes.
Side note: She is currently in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend in South Africa so I know she has issues she's dealing with.
I actually ended a friendship years ago when I wouldn't even go so much as a text from a supposed very good friend.
I get that you can get busy with school/relationships but I honestly try very hard to keep my friendships alive even when I am really busy.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Changing Daycares: how much of a difference would it make?
POST: my 2 year old daughter has been going to daycare for 6 months now. and it's has barely gotten easier, at least at dropoff. she attends m-f 8:30- usually 6:30, sometimes earlier. after 6 months, there's less tears but still whining and clinging.
about a month ago, apparently there was an accident where she was climbing a chair and fell, which lightly bruised her eye. she's fine, no need for a doctor or anything. but since then, she's been fighting MUCH harder, even at home. it's kicking and screaming to get her into the car and more crying once i need to drop her off. it's beyond regression.
only just today, i think she's easing up a little but who knows about tomorrow. we are considering changing daycares. the new one is a bit pricier ($50+/month when we are already paying $1200/month). the facilities seem better and maybe the curriculum. but more importantly, i'm wondering if the change in environment will be better or worse. in theory, she's accustomed to her current daycare because she knows the staff, some of the kids, and even recognizes our morning routine of when she has to go in. maybe a new environment will allow her to start fresh if she associates the current one as where she got hurt. this is one of those times i really wish she could talk to tell me why.
it's also a possibility she just doesn't want to be away from her parents regardless of where it is.
any suggestions?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my roommate [28F] of 8 months, constantly ignores my requests that I take personally
POST: I've been living with my roommate who we will call R for about 8 months. R and I were friends before I moved in. The issue is that R has a dog and has not picked up dog crap in the back yard for 8 months, and that is after winter as well, which most dog owners will do right away unless they have enough land, we don't.
I keep asking R to do it so that I can cut the grass before it gets to long. Every time R says they will do it by x date and that date comes and goes. To me it's a giant slap in the face, when R asks for something to be done or a favour I do it, but when I ask for something that I shouldn't have to ask for every week R does nothing.
I don't like conflict but I'm trying to fix this before I just leave since I have another place I can go and R can't afford rent by themselves.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] live with my boyfriend [25M] but he stays at his parents every time I'm away
POST: We've been together for 1.5 yrs, and have been living together in our own apartment for 4 months now. I've lived on my own for almost 3 years prior, and he's lived at home for his whole life.
Every time I'm away or we fight, he's right back to his parents for the day/night. He doesn't understand why it upsets me that after a week of my being gone (vacation,work, etc) he's never home at all during it. He won't even sleep there because he says he doesn't like being alone.
He insists he's fine with not living at home, considering he didn't have to move out of his parents' house. Yet to me, it feels like he's not comfortable calling our place together "home". It makes me want to send him back to his parents and live on my own. It doesn't feel like it's OUR apartment because he's like this, and that doesn't make me feel good.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29M] with my friend [30F] 6 months, she wants to work on herself I want to see where we go.
POST: A little background on me: I am very inexperienced when it comes to dating, I joined the military and didn't have any serious relationships because I was always moving around due to my specific job.
I met my friend about 6 months ago and we instantly hit it off. We read the same books, play the same games, and generally have a lot in common. She broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years early on when I met her. She also has a kid who I get along great with. She told me he said I was his idol the other day.
We both have feelings for each other but she wants to be single and learn to be happy by herself.
I want what's best for her, however, I'm struggling with whether I should move on or wait it out to see where things go. Since she doesn't know how long it will take before she's ready for a relationship again.
The way I see it, my choices are to wait it out, or move on. If I wait it out, either we will end up together, or she will find someone else. If i move on and meet someone else, i dont think it would be fair to them if i stayed in contact with someone i have so much chemistry with.
I feel like if I move on I'm going to regret it, and I don't want her son to lose another guy he looks up to in his life. I feel like I'm in limbo.
Any advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, can you help/have any ideas to break through prejudice?
POST: Background: I've had a guy friend since my Sophomore year in high school. We've always talked through out the years that have passed, and he's an amazing guy. Recently he asked me to go on a date with him. I more than happily accepted.
The problem lies in my mother, father, and family. I don't come from the most open minded place on Earth. He's African-American, and I'm Caucasian. I'm currently staying with my mother, and she's my best friend. So when I told her about this, and even as happy as I was, she still was not pleased (to put it lightly). She was extremely upset. I've asked her to give him a chance, but she's still refusing. I haven't told my dad yet, although I'm expecting a similar reaction.
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SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I know you like me.
POST: I know she likes me, I even like her back, but it's wrong. We shouldn't like each other. I'm engaged, she's with someone. I don't want to like her, and I absolutely do not want her to like me. It felt like a conquest at first, but it isn't, it's just a difficulty. You might say "Can't you avoid her PersonalPrefs"? No. We live together and must for the next 7 months.
Why must a girl who I am attracted to, who lives with me, be attracted back? Normally if I get a stupid crush, it goes away and I forget about it. I cannot forget this. She's in my face daily. We flirt, we joke, we talk and interact like a couple. Everybody else has noticed to some degree. But you know what? At least it wasn't obvious until today. When I compliment your clothes that look similar to mine, calling them "Our couple clothes" just makes it very obvious. My heart skipped too many beats upon hearing that. I do not like feeling this way and have avoided her for as long as possible and whenever we spend time together all of my efforts go to waste. I just see how much we mesh, how much she wants me and how much I want her.
I am marrying a girl who I know I absolutely love. I feel awful just having small crushes, but this is just destroying me.
I'm going to spend even less time at home and more time with my partner. I can't deal with two women who perfectly match my preferences being close to me, being attracted to me, at the same time.
The only upside is that I know, culturally, I will have to make the first move with girls from the area she and my fiancee are from (South East Asia), so I know the situation will stay as it is indefinitely, but I am still unhappy about it, and I can't confront her without making the situation worse to live in.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [26M] at a bit of a loss with my new girlfriend's [26F] severe anxiety
POST: First, a complicating factor. We've been friends for well over 10 years who started sleeping with each other about a year ago, and now we're dating.
I do think we're good for each other, we both have some eccentricities which we're generally supportive of, and I want to make this work, but her anxiety has me really stressed out and I come from a "no nonsense" family that is not very empathetic about that type of thing.
By anxiety I mean she refuses to come to my house (a rental rowhouse) because it's in a "bad" neighborhood (I have to walk her from the curb to my front door whenever she comes over), she thinks my place smells (and that these smells are damaging to her health), that there is a possible bat infestation (she made me duct tape the cracks around the closet doors), that there is someone hiding in my "unsecured basement".... I could probably go on. Note not all of the anxieties are tied to my house (though that is a particular point of contention)
Some of the anxieties are not rational so I have a hard time being empathetic. Others might have a sliver of reason to them but are so extreme and uncompromising that they still cause tension.
My fear is twofold: I'm more mild-mannered and don't have strong opinions, but I feel it's unfair to me that I should have to always defer to these anxieties which I just don't agree with. Secondly, I refuse to live a life which is diminished because of her fears (for example, missing out on new experiences or not being able to live in my own house)
There is probably a medical component to these anxieties which is also making me feel badly.... am I a terrible person for not being more accommodating? Is it shallow of me to prefer my girlfriend not have debilitating anxieties?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] Interested in [21F] University Friend, Wondering How Things are Going
POST: Just to preface things, I'm pretty terrible (or at least I feel I am) with social situations. I generally struggle to talk to people I don't know, sometimes struggle to click with people, that sort of thing. So I'd just like a general idea to see how I'm doing with this and see what I can to improve my odds of maybe getting something going. With that out of the way.
This girl and I go to uni and generally attend similar classes. Earlier in the year didn't get to see her all that much but now we're pretty regularly seeing each other and catching up. It's been nice talking with her, sharing similar interests in TV shows and we share similar styles of humor, bit of dark comedy and I'm able to make her laugh which is great for a confidence boost, so I ask to add her on Facebook and we've been chatting over it for a little over a week now (two weeks overall including in person at uni).
She lives in a big city and I'm in a smaller town and I've mentioned that I've never been to the CBD in her city and she takes that as a chance to invite me to go get drinks with her when our Uni semester is over. Granted, that's still 7-8 weeks away so if that's an invite because she's interested I'm assuming I should do something sooner than then if I wanna see where things go. I'd be so shocked if she is into me because she is absolutely stunning and I really don't think I am but that's neither here nor there. So yeah just wondering how does everyone think it's going, and how I should continue on in the future?
Thank you to everyone who helps me out!
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: Still Feel Lousy 3 Days After Dehydration
POST: I'm a 22 year old male. On Thursday, I went far too long without water in the Florida heat and passed out. My friends luckily "caught" me so I didn't crack my skull open on the pavement, but I was taken to the hospital for IV fluids (after being told that my condition was life threatening because my BP was plummeting and my pulse wasn't raising to compensate)
They gave me 2 bags through the IV and sent me on my way after 3 or so hours. Since then, I've felt like I had the flu. I've been drinking gallons of water to the point where I'm burping up clear liquid. I also am incapable of keeping anything down. I ate a light dinner last night that ended up in the toilet. Tonight I went for some Wonton soup that will probably end up in the same place soon. My forehead feels like a furnace and my back/legs feel like a freezer.
I went into work today after calling in yesterday. Walking in, I felt almost like I was numb. Like I was floating. The first hour, I felt like I was a zombie. I took a nap on my break and woke up looking like someone dumped a bucket of water on me. I was okay for a few more hours but got immensely dizzy and had to go home.
My urine has been normal color and I've had regular bowel movements, so all's okay there.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (F/16) doesn't know if she should tell her parents about me (M/16)
POST: My girlfriend of about 4 weeks doesn't know if she should tell her parents about me. We've known each other for about five years and her parents know me as well, just not very well.
Her parents are conservative religious and albeit her parents said that she could date (however, they wouldn't approve of it) a while ago, my girlfriend doesn't really know what to do.
She thinks that her parents will make her break up with me, but we really like each other and we like dating.
I'm agnostic and her parents are Christian and don't really want her dating persons outside their religion, mind you, I'm her first boyfriend.
I don't know what to do either, please help me r/relationships.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend is cheating on her boyfriend (who is my friend) with another of my friends. What should I do about this?
POST: My best friend of four years, who's 18 (let's call her Marie) met a 23 year old guy (call him Jeff) online 7 months ago. Marie has been dating Jeff since and claimed she's in love with him.
Jeff loves her as Well and would like to marry Marie. Well, 4 months ago, Marie starts to get friendly with another one of our mutual friends (call him Luke, who's also 18). So I am led to believe that Marie has No feelings other than friendship for Luke and that nothing is going on between them. Another one of our friends tells me three weeks ago that this entire time, Luke and Marie have been together and that Marie told Luke to keep their relationship a secret from me.
Marie even lied to my face about being with Luke. Jeff knows nothing about this, but the friend that told me Luke and Marie were together saw a picture of Jeff and Marie together. He than told Luke, who is confronting Marie about the situation at this very moment. The thing is, only four or five people know about Marie and Jeff being together, so this is all going to fall back on me no matter what.
What should I do about this, because I'm sick of this bullshit and don't know where to go from here.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Who is in the wrong here?
POST: So the other day, I went out to the bar with a couple friends. While we are there my friend invites this girl he knows to meet us there. Apparently they have been hooking up for a little while and he wanted to get some action that night. After the bar, we all go back to my place and just hang out. We had all had a couple drinks, but nothing too far.
We get to talking and I ask if anyone would want to hang out and have drinks on my patio the next day (I had a couple different friends coming over and figured why not invite a couple more?). Everyone says they are busy except the girl. She says she's free and could swing by when I'm done with work. My friend doesn't say anything and doesn't give me a stink eye or anything, so figured it was cool.
Next day, I had 3 of my friends over and she comes too. We end up hanging out until 1AM or so. The friend who is hooking up with her couldn't come because he was working.
The next day, I got a text from him saying something to the effect of "how were you hanging out with ____ last night? No more hanging out with my fuckybuddies. I'm trying to lessen her presence in my life and she is trying to move in on it."
Obviously I didn't know he was trying to avoid her (he invited her out just the other night). So I apologize and say it won't happen again, but she had already made plans to hang out with our group again this Sunday.
Now she just texted me to see if I wanted her to bring anything for Sunday (we were going to barbeque or something). Is my friend being childish or am I intruding? I thought that if he didn't want us hanging out with her, he shouldn't have invited her in the first place....
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 m] with my [21 f] of two years, sad about fb photos.
POST: I dated a girl for 2 years. As the title said. no names needed.
we dated each others best friends before we dated each other. it made it awkward at first but our love eventually blossomed.
long story short she broke it off at the end of November because of my emotional abuse and lack of trying.
again. long story short. I saw this morning on Facebook the guy whom she had been texting "as friends" sitting amongst the people I had called my family only two short months ago for christmas dinner.
I don't want to contemplate whether or not they are dating. quite frankly it's none of my business at this point.
it hurt though. it took my quasi okay christmas and completely ruined it. my heart rate rised and thankfully I was alone because I was visibly shaken.
I don't have any friends that I can turn to right now. it's Christmas anyways, who wants their day with my bogus self depreciation.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend[26M] took photos of half naked girls at a house party and I'm[24F] not sure how to feel about it.
POST: So my boyfriend, of a few months, is in the Air Force and has told me on many occasions that the girls in the Air Force tend to be a bit risqué, to put it nicely. I mean to offend no one by that, I personally do not know any women in the Air Force and am sure that they are not all like this, but this is just the way that my boyfriend has described them to me.
Anyways, he is away for training in a different state and last night(first weekend of training at a new base) he went to a house party with people in his class. I guess that through the course of the night several of the girls decided to start taking their clothes off, I'm sure being provoked and encouraged by several of the guys. Apparently they were dancing and doing other lewd things with each other. And my boyfriend watched, which I'm not really mad about. The thing that really got me was that he took pictures of them. I asked why and his response was that everyone else was. I asked him to delete them because I am not comfortable with it and he seemed reluctant, but eventually deleted them(or at least said that he did).
Now, I'm not sure how to feel about this. Part of me is angry and hurt that he would take pictures of girls in their bras and underwear. And I feel sort of disrespected that he sat there and watched them half naked for a half hour or so. Or perhaps I should just let it go and move on since he has told me that he deleted the pictures. I am just looking for advice on how to deal with this situation. If I'm making too big of a deal out of it and this is just something that any guy would do in the given situation or if it seems as messed up as I think that it is.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] meeting my boyfriend's [28M] family for the first time, first serious relationship, no idea what to expect and feeling incredibly nervous
POST: We've been together for almost 7 months. Next week I'm going to meet his family for the first time. It's his mum's birthday, having food and drinks with his close family at his house. (Birthday present is already sorted, luckily.) I still live with my parents and he comes over almost every weekend, so he's already quite familiar with my parents and siblings, and has seen some of my other family members before (though that wasn't exactly planned). That's why this is even more important to me.
I have never done this before, so saying I'm nervous is putting it pretty lightly. Any advice from you guys? I've been googling some tips about it, but it just makes me more anxious. I feel like I'm going to say or do something that's incredibly inappropriate or offending, because I don't know what's expected of me. On the other hand, I feel like if I worry too much, I'm going to come across as really uptight.
There's also obviously quite the age difference between me and my boyfriend, which isn't a problem for us, but I'm a bit scared of what his family might say. His mum knows I'm quite a bit younger, but we haven't spoken or met yet, so I'm not exactly sure what her thoughts are about the matter, and I have no idea how much the others (grandparents, aunts, uncles) know.
Also not sure what to wear. Should I keep it casual or wear something a bit more dressy?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my [30M]. When is it a good time to block him on facebook?
POST: I broke up with my boyfriend of a few months but he won't stop messaging me on facebook. Everytime he messages me I ignore him and a few days later he'd send me a long passive aggressive rant about how cold I am and how difficult a time he is going through and that he is going to kill himself.
It is seriously annoying and I really want him out of my life. Seeing his messages seriously stresses me out and I have more things to worry about in my life. I was thinking of blocking him on facebook but I'm really scared that he will come showing up at my doorstep if he can't contact me on facebook (I currently live alone because my roommate went overseas for a few months), or that something in him will snap and he will become seriously pissed and harbor thoughts to hurt me. It is unlikely but I am paranoid.
Should I go ahead and block him on facebook? Or should I sort of wane him off talking to me for a while before finally cutting that cord? Which is the safer option? Thanks!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] want to ask out a girl I know [22 F] but she lives about four hours away. Is there any way to make this work? I'm not sure how I feel about long-distance relationships.
POST: I'm a very anxious/self conscious guy, and using social media seems to bring that out of me even more than usual. I think this is because I'm very quiet and this doesn't translate well into online communication, or something, who knows...
Anyways, there's a girl I really like; her family is friends with my family and we somewhat recently got back into contact with them, and we all get along well, her, her younger brother, my younger sister, and I. The problem is she goes to school pretty far away; about a four hour trip from where I live. But I really, really like her, and I can't stop thinking about her.
Another problem is that she is also very shy, and I tried messaging her awhile ago (about 7 or 8 months ago) and it went back and forth a bit, before fizzling out.
Basically, I am wondering if any of you think it's worth me trying to get to know her better or even telling her that I really like her, and if you might have any tips on how I might go about doing so.
Also, as for whether or not she might feel the same way about me, I really can't tell. She is very friendly towards me, she laughs when I try to be funny, and we can talk somewhat, even with being shy, but I really cannot tell if she likes me or not. We make a fair bit of eye contact when we talk and stuff, though I try to do that with most people. The only thing I can go off is that when we've left their family the last two times, it's seemed that she's made a (perhaps very slight) effort to say more of a goodbye to me, but that could be in my head, and also I saw her glance at me once (reading that back now sounds totally desperate but I'll leave it in there).
Anyways, hope someone (or multiple someones) might have some advice / tips / something to help me out. Thanks!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 25M Having A Hard Time With My 24F GF
POST: I'm in a tricky and complicated relationship of 4 months with someone currently going through a separation/divorce. We backtracked from "boyfriend/girlfriend/in a relationship" after three months of playing house into a lighter arrangement that works more for her (she is craving the freedom - even if she doesn't pursue it).
I've been patient and understanding of her situation (openly missing her ex, letting it affect our time together, the general hot & coldness of her confusion), while still trying to advocate for my rights. We still spend most of our free time and weekends together. We also still say "I love you" and plan vacations together.
Last night, while missing me particularly more than usual, my "girlfriend" went on an Instagram photo-liking spree that went back to pictures over a year old - which featured me with an ex.
Now my "gf" is upset because she feels like the intimate things we've shared are all motions I've done a million times in the past. She attributed my similar phrasing in captions to what I've told her (and meant) and completely discredits every sacrifice I've made to be with her while she figures out all of her issues.
How can I show her that what I say and do for her are genuine and sincere? I've tried explaining that she can only set the bar for future girls I meet, and not the ones I settled for before her. I'm so tired of fighting and making it be known how special I think she is, only to have it all not count during a moment of jealousy or insecurity. I just want to be with her and help her achieve her goals. I'd also love to make her happy and be happy in the process.
It might also help to include she is bipolar (mostly happy, manic times), and is also due for her monthly visitor. It's a lot to deal with and I'm trying not to be an emotional jerk than makes decisions based off of emotional reactions.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Apartment Mold: What can we legally do?
POST: So my apartment had some minor flooding from hurricane Irene and the rain after. We lost a couple personal possessions and I had to take off 3 days from work to fight the flooding and keep us from losing anymore. The landlord even offered us a rent reduction to pay us back for lost income and property(though its spread out over a long period of time).
The problem is now we are finding mold growing on the wall of our bedroom (basement apartment). We even had a couple mushroom sprout between the floor and the baseboard on the wall. Our superintendent has been very helpful. He has twice sprayed the parts of our apartment where the mold was growing. But we have no idea how bad the situation is behind any of the walls.
The management company offered us another room in the building, but it is significantly smaller and the same price. They said they can't do any mold investigation or removal while we are still in the apartment. They won't let us occupy another apartment while ours is being fixed.
This is all in Bergen County, NJ.
Is there anything we can do? We love our apartment and don't want to move out, but of course we can't live with mold.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Standing In an Ant Bed
POST: So Reddit, this was technically last night, but none the less.
My dad was working on building a shelter for our AC unit, and was cutting 2x4s with a table saw. He needed my help because he was scared of the boards catching and flying up and hitting him in the head, so he asked for my help.
Being the good son I am, I happily agreed, even though it was 10 at night and dark. I threw on my flip flops and walked outside, he has me on one side and him on the other holding each end of the board.
The first board we cut without incident, so we go to the second one, and this is where the shit went to the fan. We're in the middle of cutting it and I feel something crawling on my leg and my foot starts to sting, I can't see what it is and I start freaking out. I take one hand off the board to get whatever it is off and WHAM! My glasses fly one way, half the 2x4 shoots out to the side and the other half shoots up and uppercuts me with the force of a thousand suns.
I sat there in shock for a few seconds trying to see if my jaw was still there, luckily it was, and now I'm sitting here with an upper lip similar to Angelina Jolie's and a sore mouth.
The worst part is my dad started laughing..
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend [21F] and I are considering getting a place with my best friend. How terrible of an idea is this?
POST: We're both living together at my parents house right now and are planning to move out this summer. We're both finished school - she's working as a receptionist making $15 an hour and I'm working as a nurse making $28 an hour. We have a dog as well.
A nice apartment runs for $1000 in our town, which isn't too bad at all. The issue with this is we'd share walls with neighbors (unable to host parties), have limited space, and wouldn't have a backyard for our dog. I'm going back to school for another 2 years to get my bachelor's in nursing (and we have student debts to pay as well) so we'd like to keep our cost of living as low as possible.
We're thinking about renting out a house with my best friend who I've known for a little over a decade. He also has a dog (littermate of my dog) so the company would be great for both of them. We can get a nice house for ~$1400 inclusive or so. We'd get much more space, a backyard (summer fires!), and a full house so we can host parties and get-togethers. What are the cons of this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit: This keeps getting into my water. How do I make it stop?
POST: [This little mischevious furry] keeps getting into my water. Nothing I do seems to make him stop.
Does this happen to anyone with their cats? I am having issues trying to stop him from drinking water from my glass. In fact my table is bare because an hour previous to the picture being taken he dropped water on my desk and I had to hang the table cloth to dry.
I have tried everything but he refuses to drink from his bowl. I have offered him many options: plastic bowls, glass bowls, stainless steel bowls, poured lukewarm water into his bowl, poured cold water, put ice into the water. Nothing stops him from preferring to drink from my glass.
Before anyone mentions - I wash his bowls constantly and they get re-filled every other hour (I rinse the bowl each time before refilling). I have also kept several bowls of water around the house for his convenience yet he will still prefer to drink from my glass.
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SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: [Serious] My cousin told me someone stole money from her. How can I help?
POST: I don't know how to help her, what do i do?
My cousin is a foreign student studying in U.S for high school. She is living with a host family. The host family's mom who goes through her stuff might have stole money from her.She recently told me she notice a lot of money (around 1 to 2 thousand US dollar) had gone missing. The host family's mom who goes through her stuff because it's a routine check for drugs/alcohol.
Her living condition is great, she get her own room. The host family seems "nice" and have a big town house with 6 room a huge backyard and a swimming pool. (So I don't know why the host family mom would steal money from my cousin)
Host family parents are both teachers. I didn't confront the host family yet. (Didn't want to ruin their reputation or cause drama) The host family mom have a strict attitude and a two face kind of person.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to get over her
POST: I am a 19 year old male and she is 19F.I dated her for about a year and a half and prior to that she was one of my best friends. Towards the end of our relationship, she moved in with me and that's when things started going down-hill. We began to fight a lot and she started lying to me. We ended up breaking it off when I found out she had been going out clubbing and dancing with other guys behind my back. This may not sound bad to some of you but you must understand that we told each other everything and it violated the unwavering trust that I had in her. I couldn't be in the relationship with no trust. Also she will be leaving for the navy in about a year. She will be gone for about 4 years. I still love her, she still loves me and we want to try to remain friends but we both have to try to move on. Help please
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My aunt hates everyone in my family except on of her nieces. Anyone else have awful aunts/uncles/cousins?
POST: Lets start with my aunt. She's an alcoholic, and has no kids. She mooches off my grandparents, making them pay for everything for her. She's in her 50s, almost 60. She treats me and my brother like shit. She pays special treatment to my cousin, who we'll call Helen.
One time, when I was around 11, and my brother was around 8, making 'Helen' 9, we were spending Christmas with my grandparents. She had a christmas tree set up, and had several presents under it. When we see it, my brother gets all excited. He still believes in santa. My aunt then tells my brother to move away from the tree, because it's not for him or me. She gives my cousin 3 toys, and when she starts to hand my cousin candy, my brother reaches out for some. He assumed since Helen got so many gifts, that one of them was for him. She swatted his hand away, telling him "Don't touch that! It's not for you!" at that point im outside with my mother, who is seeing red at this point.
My father takes my aunt aside and says "-name of aunt here- we should go, it's not appropriate for you to give Helen toys, and not my children." She then goes on a rant, screaming about how I got Helen's mother a present for Christmas, and not her. My mom loses it, yelling about how awful my aunt is, and telling my father that we need to leave. As we're leaving, my aunt is cussing us out, calling my mom a slut (The first time I ever heard that word)
Needless to say, we haven't seen her since.
So, who else has weird and awful extended family?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would you be upset if adopting a kitten resulted in receiving 2 plus the mother?
POST: Now I'm not upset about receiving the cats under the fact that it is a rescue of them. The owner has a story that she is moving and can't have more then one cat. The mother of the kittens is 8mo old and she "got loose" and became pregnant. Three white kittens and two black and white like the mother later she decides to get rid of all but one. She set up an adoption for the mother that fell through and decided she would keep 2 white and the other white kitten was adopted. Picking up our black and white kitten she tells us she plans on setting the mother and the left over black/white kitten "free" (parking lot kittie status). This is why I feel upset, she upgraded to 2 white kittens from her own 8mo old cat when she can only have one cat. She explained her story like a victim and all I can think is, "wtf keep your damn cat give us all kitties we can find them homes". To top it off the mother is skin and bones. No logic in this. Is my anger normal?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/f] Is he (26/m) just keeping me on the hook?
POST: What's going on here? It started out as a summer thing. We left it unfinished and ambiguous b/c he got his first military assignment 3,000 miles away. It's been 8 months since we've seen each other. We called and texted everyday for 3 months and then frequently for 2. We tried to arrange visits (he offered to fly me), but our schedules have made it really tough and those fell through.
Now it's really irregular. He often doesn't respond, but occasionally calls randomly. Or he'll be mia then text me unsolicited "Awkwadoodle, I wanted to tell you I was leaving, but wasn't allowed. I've missed you. Hope you're well, and hopefully me being home and safe is enough." It sounds like BS, but it's not that unlikely. Only thing, I hardly know what he's up to anyways lately that I wouldn't even know if he was gone.
It's just frustrating. I feel strung along sometimes, but what's the point if he has no reason to suspect we'll see each other. And, for me, I'm having a hard time letting him go. Like, 8 months later after only 5 weeks of even knowing each other?! Also, I wonder if this isn't just obsession because he's out of reach, and we parted in the height of a honey moon period. I feel like there's something here, and I'm willing to give it a try. But I don't like feeling like this.
And, I haven't known whether to just leave it be or to say something (if so, what?) or to move on (if so, how?).
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me [19M] and her [18F] had a falling out after dating for 5 days
POST: So I really don't understand where I went wrong. The girl I really like who actually initially came on to me told me the other day that she "just wanted to be friends", "didn't want to be tied down to one guy right now", and "didn't want any of the stress of having to deal with a relationship".
The night before she asked what we were and I said I had no idea but I'm not seeing someone else and she said she wasn't either. I know her prior dating history was one boyfriend who lasted about a year and half and they broke up about 6 months ago. Now she met my parents, I met hers, and we kissed. That's the gist of our intimacy besides the occasional talking about sex and building tension. So now I really put my eggs in the basket with this girl and she kind of just tore me down. I haven't ever been in a "serious" relationship so I'm kind of just figuring out what to do. She said maybe that we moved a little to fast too?
Anyway she wants to be friends and still see each other and I THINK she said see where is goes. It's just after being built up like that I'm emotionally confused really of what I should do. Should I stick around and see what happens?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Strange mood swings and aggression with my mom causing family relationship issues...Not like that ಠ_ಠ
POST: 21/M...and no, this is not THAT kind of relationship. My connections with my family have gotten somewhat screwy. I guess the length of time is all my life.
At the moment I live at home, part time job full time student. I live less than 10 minutes from campus so I saw no point in burning off 8,000$ to live with some asshole I'd wind up murdering. My family is still together, one sister, mother, and father.
My problem is this: lately I've been feeling unexplainable anger/frustration/irritation, and all around shitty around my own mother. This had started about 6 months ago, and has been a constant mood swing roller coaster since then. Sometimes I don't want to see or hear her, other times I'm fine. This is bothersome because it isn't directed towards anyone else in my family.
An example of this would be last week: my mother and sister went on vacation in Florida for a little over a week. I was with my father for that duration. No problems, no mood swings, etc. When she comes home, instead of it being nice to see her, I'm immediately from a good mood to "meh".
I'm asking now if this sort of backwards Oedipus complex is normal or if anyone has had something like this happen before? If I can't figure it out I'm thinking about going to go see my campus counselor or something. My mother has always been someone I've never felt aggressive towards, and now all of a sudden I feel hostile towards her everytime I'm in the same room.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [25M] doesn't think our anniversary holds any significance.. [19F]. I normally wouldn't be upset, but what does this mean?
POST: It's only been a year and it feels like a month. We're still getting to know each other but have spent almost every day together upon meeting until the last couple months due to exams etc. Overall, our relationship is great. It dawned on me that it's been a year though and he sighed and said its barely anything and didn't think it wasnt a big deal but if we can go out to dinner if that'll make me happy.
Wtf?
he always implies eventual marriage, says things like "in 10 years.." we haven't said I love yous yet for whatever reason, because he's terrible at communicating and doesn't do anything romantic anyways, but I'm virtually the only female in his life apart from his mom and cousins. I just don't get why he wouldn't care about our anniversary.
Anyways what does this mean? Long term potential or lack of fucks given? I feel kind of hurt.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by microwaving chicken for lunch
POST: So this happened a little over a year ago but it almost happened again so thought I'd share my story!
I used to work in a small pharmacy. Many times for lunch I would bring rice from home and then pick up some chicken from QFC by my work. Usually I get a 8 piece and eat it over a couple of days. They usually put the chicken in a small box thingy lined with paper. On one particular day I decided to just order a thigh and drum. Since it was only two pieces they didn't put it in a box, they put it in a small paper bag instead.
Well I'm at work and lunch time comes around and I need to piss like a race horse! I throw the chicken in the microwave, hit quick minute, and head on over the bathroom. I pee and head back to eat my chicken. But when I return, there was smoke everywhere, my chicken baggie was on the floor, and my co-worker was desperately hitting at it with a binder. Turned out the chicken was wrapped in deli foil paper, or whatever it was called! I never opened the bag to look into it before I threw it in the micro! So the whole time I was peeing, the chicken in the microwave was sparking and popping and eventually caught on fire! With all that noise, I should've gone number 2!!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Stupid drunk night ruining things with my (25M) new girlfriend (24F) of 3 months
POST: I started dating this girl a few months ago. She just moved to my city. There's another city nearby but across the border that I go to a lot. I was there with my friends last weekend and had way too much to drink. We went out for a bite and I was texting my girlfriend and told her to join us there but not really expecting her to because she hasn't crossed the border there yet and it can be kind of intimidating for people who don't do it often I guess, especially since the city is known for crime. Anyways we were there for hours, I was fucking hammered and completely forgot that she might even show up, she wasn't texting me anymore so we went home.
She did end up going to meet us and parked her car and got robbed at gunpoint and lost her purse and phone. She didn't know where I was exactly and didn't know my number so she couldn't find me and she spent the whole night dealing with the police and then trying to get back home without ID. She's pissed that I didn't tell her it was a bad area, she's not constantly bringing it up or anything but she is very obviously annoyed with me. I feel fucking horrible about it and it's really driving a wedge between us. Is there anything I can do? I want to make it up to her or at least get things back to normal but I don't know what to do. I feel so bad.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is your creepiest/weirdest/coolest bug experience? Mine happened just now at work. Not sure anyone will believe me though....
POST: I'll make this brief. I'm a CG animator. I work very hard/long hours in front of a computer all day and often times all night. I suppose I haven't noticed this till today, but I guess I don't move a whole lot while I'm animating. I usually concentrate pretty hard on the scene I'm animating. Today at work I notice a small blurry dark sphere close to my face, in the corner of my eye. As I let my eyes focus I could see it was a small spider an inch or two from my face. I assumed it was dropping down from the ceiling... I continue to stay very still and attempted to grab the web it was dangling from. The spider doesn't move. It's then that I realize it's not descending from the ceiling... It had begun to construct a web from the top of my computer monitor to some where on my head.... I kid you not it had gotten a fair amount complete on it's web. I have never been so sad about my lack of movement in a day as well as quite proud of this tiny little guy. In the end I let him go outside to build a proper web. Your turn reddit. Tell me a tale of interest and bugs.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ice-blasting my undercarriage (nsfw-ish)
POST: A few days ago I spent a long day working outside, with lots of walking and getting in and out of a vehicle. I consistently wear compression shorts (under armour) as underwear. well this is worn a bit and got bunched up in the crease of my groin and thigh. The last hour of work I neglected repositioning, and just kept going. The chafe monster got me good. Raw as could be right on my gooch.
When I got home I went for my gold bond spray powder and went to ease the pain. I shook the can and flipped it to douse my undercarriage. Instead of smooth relief I got the searing pain of 1000 suns in a most delicate space. My bodies reaction was to tense and squeeze like a 4 year old holding in a true.
I only then remembered how when you flip compressed air cans you can blasting a bit of ice out. The ice burn only intensified the chafe pain for a few more days.
While I highly recommend the spray powders...May you never, by all things good in this world, flip the can upside down and use them on your chafing genital area.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by locking myself out after spending money on wrong things.
POST: First of all i know i'm stupid. Now to my fuck up: My Mother and Sister left me home alone for two weeks, it was a mutal agreement since they wanted to go on vacation and i didn't. My mom gave me 250 euros which i was supossed to only spend 100 of and another 150 in case of emergancy like this one a guess. I thought sweet i can finally pay off some money i owed friends and the first 175 Euros were gone in the first day ( They left Friday so i had to give it to them now or after the 6 weeks of summer holidays and i thought to myself i can manage with whatever money i got left with no problem) . Then i went ahead and bought a new game on my playstation and i was left with 45 euros. I thought to my self my mom's not gonna be to upset if i spend the rest. That's were my fuck up really happened. When i came back home i realized i locked my self out. So i had to call locksmith (or whatever you call the guy who unlocks it for you) and he charged me 33 Euros and because so nice and again me being stupid gave him a tip so i am left with 15 euros. I was certain that some kind of food had to be at home or whatever to cook but nope only a pizza of things i can actually prepare myself without burning my house down. Well me being once more stupid spend 5 euros of those 15 for fast food alreday. So here i am on my pc left with 10 euros another three weeks at home while pretty much everyone is not in town anymore i know of. At least i got a good life lesson out of it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I re-establish communication with my angry cousin?
POST: My cousin and I used to be best friends. We were so close that I invited him to move in with me when he was wanting to move out of his parents'.
It was great at first, but as we lived together, things started falling apart. We just found we had too many differences in lifestyle, and, being broke, we lived in far too small a place. I ended up having to ask him to leave because he wasn't keeping his end of the bargain while living together (living expenses, doing chores, and respecting other boundaries).
He moved back home, but never felt that it was fair for me to ask him to leave. I know he is still very angry with me. This was 8 months ago.
Reddit, what's the best way to try and re-establish communication with him?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: America. F*** Yeah. Student Loan Issues.
POST: So, I work in Hollywood. Post-Production. Our receptionist is leaving in June to go to school, or at least, trying to.
Basically, she makes just enough money to not qualify for Finical Aid, but not enough to take out a solid student loan. She has been applying for ridiculous scholar ships and just basically freaking out. I don't know too much about the numbers, but she can only take so much out on a loan, and after paying for school, she would only have like $13,000 to live on for a year.
I was hoping that someone might have been in a similar situation and could help shed some light. Sorry my details suck.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is a seemingly stupid thing that has changed your life forever?
POST: In my case it would be playing a card game called Yu-Gi-Oh!. I started playing with some friends in my class at school and I really enjoyed it (I used to play back in 6th grade, but then quit when the fad died out). I stopped playing at school because it seemed "un-cool" for a 9th grader to be playing Yu-Gi-Oh still. Instead of playing at school I went to the local card shop and began playing there. Yu-Gi-Oh was a game popular with people of all walks of life, I was forced to deal with and sometimes even play against people whom an awkward white string bean of a kid would never dream of talking to. Because of this it made me a better person, at this shop I have met some of my best friends, and I have learned how to talk to people. I am 17 now, and in my senior year of High school, and I have grown alot because of this.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why is my (19F) boyfriend (20M) acting like this?
POST: We've been together for almost two years and until about a month ago, we had a great relationship. Now, I am happy and generally have a good time with him when I see him but he's fucking with my head.
Over the last couple of weeks, about half the time when I initiate sex, it only ends in him masturbating. I'll start to give him one and if he was doing something on his phone, sometimes he's continued looking at that for several minutes while ignoring me. When this happens, he doesn't do anything back to me, like finger me or touch me in any way, then gets pissed when I stop and tries to get me to carry on.
He's also suddenly taking a while to reply to texts too. He used to get back to me reasonably quickly but I'm often waiting for nearly an hour or more, all of a sudden.
I recently changed jobs and now have weekends free but he's leaving my house even earlier than he used to so that he can do a sport he recently got back into. The last three times I've tried inviting him to events, he hasn't been able to come as he's busy doing sport things. I also have a sport I enjoy but I feel like I'm far more willing to compromise by choosing to see him rather than do a competition.
Despite this, he is still planning ahead by doing things like booking tickets for events for us that aren't happening for months.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] with my [18 F] girlfriend have military problems and other complications.
POST: Hi guys, don't know where to turn or who to talk to. I just have to let it out for somebody to know. First off we've been dating for a year and a month (half of it being long distance). Just this month I get all this drama that she cheated on me and it looks really bad in her favor. She denies it completely and after all of that trust was built up for a year I feel like I have to believe her. I break up with her after it all went down then I cannot stop thinking about her for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I decide it's time to give it a shot and try to believe her. We talk about it more and I feel better. I still think about it sometimes but try to avoid it and believe her completely.
Now we get in this conversation today that has me really torn. She is in the National Guard and I'm in the Air Force. She has to go boot camp this summer and be gone for 5 months. Then when she gets back we get 2 month together then she leaves for college. I'm currently in college about 3 hours away. Then I graduate in two more semesters and get commissioned as an Officer where I will get stationed somewhere far away. She says she'll move with me and go where I go.
The trust in the relationship is kind of low but I still have feelings for her. She gets mad a lot and I put up with it but when we she's in a good mood, I am. We have lots of fun together, but with all of this stuff weighing down on our relationship idk how it will go. We're also really young and have lots of future ahead of us. I have to make a decision soon because I don't want to break up right before it and I don't want to break up during it. Idk what to do at all really. I just feel so lost and broken and I just really need somebody else to tell me something or ask the right questions. I'm being a little bitch about it and keep crying.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Need Advice
POST: So, here is my issue Reddit. I (m/27) have been friends with my roommate (m/28) for the last eight years, seven of which we have spent as roommates. He is a nice enough guy, but in the last year we've been beginning to grow apart. He really likes to party, get drunk and smoke a lot of weed, and I can't really do that... also, I've started seeing somebody. It's been just under a year and we're head over heals in love.
The gf (f/25) and I are not in the same location currently, however, so we split weekends traveling to each other. This has caused a bit of friction between my roommate and I. He gets super offended that I spend my free time with her and not with him (though, I've invited him to join us in doing activities like hiking, biking and beach trips. I know it's hard to be a third wheel, but he's made zero attempt. I've always made attempts with his girlfriends in the past. He is currently single).
Now I get "lectures" every time it's my turn to travel. "Don't ignore your friends, man". I don't feel that I'm ignoring them; I still hang out with friends, I just do it on my own terms now. I do things that I think are fun. When he makes an effort to do something I like to do, too, I join. When he makes no effort, I don't join. I already know, relationship or not, that when the lease is up I will not be renewing with him.
How should I handle his passive "lectures" and confrontations, Reddit? Am I completely off base in this? I have a great relationship and I love this girl. I don't want to cut my friend, but it feels like he's expecting me to be his lackey without reciprocating friendship. I feel like I don't really owe him any explanation -- if he's not man enough to come to me to my face but, rather, complains about me behind my back, do I really owe him the courtesy he's not extending me?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my BF [23M] of one year, can't figure out how healthy our relationship is.
POST: Hi, I've never posted to Reddit before! My boyfriend lives in a pretty heavily populated city on the northeast and I've been considering moving in with him after being long-distance for a few months (since January). Our relationship has been rocky but I really love him.
In March my boyfriend half revealed to me that he made out with a good friend of his in June of last year (practically in the middle of our relationship). We've been struggling with being monogamous lately. I've given my opinion that I think an open relationship would be better for both of us. Since we started dating I've had times when I drunkenly make out with other people (mainly girls) and have thoughts about being with others, which has convoluted our conversations and turned our relationship bitter. He won't let us be in an open relationship because he said "you'll just hook up with more people than me." Because he hasn't made many friends in the new area where he lives. He's even gone to the point of getting sick and not eating for a couple of days when he found out that I knew he cheated. I felt emotionally betrayed, humiliated and utterly disgusted so I didn't want to care.
I also feel like I must admit that his friends here (he used to live here and moved recently) have been making moves on me. I don't necessarily push them away, but my boyfriend found that one of our mutual friends has been trying to sleep with me. We haven't slept together, but my boyfriend has been getting really pushy and tense because of this. He asks me where I am all the time, he asks me who I sit next to when we go out to bars, and even who I talk to. It's gotten a little ridiculous, but I get where he is coming from.
Our relationship has really been amazing though. He has opened me up emotionally and I've never met someone like him in my life. I really want things to work and I can see him being with me in the future, but the way this is going is making me uneasy. What I'm really looking for is advice on what to do. My boyfriend seems insecure about the way our relationship is. How can I fix this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend has problems socially, I can't seem to say anything right when she gets upset about it
POST: Throwaway account.
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a girl (21) I really love. She's sweet and funny and pretty and smart and all of that. She has a few friends (some of them don't treat her very well, unfortunately) but feels like she should have more; or at least feels insecure and inferior because she doesn't have more friends.
At times she gets really upset about that, and she gets upset because she feels that no one likes her and that people in her classes ignore her or think she's stupid or act like she's really weird (I don't know if people actually do act like that toward her or not since I'm not actually there).
When she gets upset about it there seems to be nothing at all I can say that will make her feel better. I also can't seem to say anything that won't get her angry with me.
If I just say things like "I'm sorry, that really sucks" she eventually rips me a new one for not caring about her or not being able to understand because I have more friends than she does.
If I say something like "well those people are bitches and they're missing out because you're awesome", at best she'll just say "no, it's my fault, there must be something wrong with me" and at worst she'll say that AND get mad at me.
If I try to console AND offer advice like "no, you're totally likeable/smart/nice/whatever, but maybe you just need to be more assertive/put yourself out there more/etc" she gets mad and says I'm insensitive.
Any of these will usually lead to her saying things like "fuck you" and telling me to leave her alone.
What am I supposed to say?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] am unsure of how to proceed with a girl [F~23] at work.
POST: Hi everyone. I [M23] am a janitor at a small town public school. She's a teacher [F 20-something] I met very recently. I find I think about her all the time and am unsure if this okay on professional as well as personal levels.
As to the former, she's obviously a bit higher than me on the totem pole, if you will. What do you think? Should the help ever become romantically involved with faculty?
I know we've connected at least once: she made a lovely sound of approval when I was pretending not to look at her in passing. That was our first contact. Then, the other day, she stayed pretty late into my (evening) shift, seemingly JUST to meet me and let me know which room was hers. Wishful thinking, maybe. For what it's worth, I've since altered my routine so that I can see her daily and at a good time. (More than happy to plan my whole day around those eyes...)
If you guessed I'm a little shy, you're correct. We haven't traded many words yet, just pleasant greetings and goodnights. She's very kind. I only wish I could know how much of it, if any, is enthusiasm toward me, personally.
Anyway, please advise. I'm all kinds of nervous and excited, unsure of how to proceed, and not entirely sure if she or anyone would even want me to.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is staying close friends with my ex the right thing to do?
POST: I was with my girlfriend for 2 years, I'm 19 she's 20 (the year above me). We were fine until she moved to university and we sort of slowly drifted apart from each other without either of us noticing. Last August, we both realised we'd failed to talk to each other about issues and I had become kind of emotionally blank to some of her feelings. We kind of broke up to prevent that from happening again. Bits and pieces and stuff happened and things, but eventually we both went back (or in my case moved to) universities but not together.
The thing was since just before we go together we had been texting and we texted every night since then up until we broke up. At the start of our university terms, we texted a little bit because we were still friends and stuff and we slowly texted more and more and we met up for something and it was okay and awkward at the same time. In December I came back home for a week for the first time and every night was torture, I think having time to stop (university was kind of hectic) meant all my missing her and stuff kind of came together at once. I ended up in a phone conversation with her and confessing how much I missed her, at which point she told me she had a boyfriend of two months (although she said it was to "get over me", he doesn't make her feel amazing (like I did) and he had "been around").
Since then she has been working for exams so we have only texted when she can, which is still often and stuff, but then she told me this new boyfriend is breaking up with her at some point because he is moving to London. We are also meeting up to catch up and stuff.
I don't really know how I feel about her or anyone at the minute/anymore, although I know she is the only person who really talks to me, and is still my closest friend, and the distance is less of an issue, but I don't know if I should even consider anything with her, if I should just stop talking to her, whether what I'm doing is damaging me, I don't know what to do, so I'm asking for your help reddit.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29F] am afraid I will end up alone
POST: I will try my best to keep this simple. I have a feeling that I won't get many responses that I haven't already spent time thinking about, but I'm feeling a little desperate.
The short of things is, my relationships all seem to have a specific expiration date. I've been in a number of long term relationships. I am specifically interested in people who are intelligent and able to hold a good conversation or debate. Things always start off well. I find the newness exhilarating. I always seem to date people with unique hobbies or interests that I am excited to learn about. Yet, it never fails to occur that this doesn't last. I grow increasingly bored and restless and I crave an escape.
I've been proposed to more than once. Yet, I've never been married and I've artfully ended every relationship I've had after about two years. I'm very diplomatic and have genuinely remained friends with ALL of my exes.
My parents have been married for thirty years and model a beautiful relationship. I truly don't understand why I find myself here. I guess it should also be noted that I change jobs and move frequently (average of every 3 years).
The biggest problem now is that I really adore my boyfriend. He is a family friend for many years and I have desired him for a long time. When we began a relationship, I was thrilled. My mom warned me not to hurt him. I love him so much. He is a good person and does not deserve to be hurt by me. Yet, here we are approaching two years and I feel the burning itch of restlessness. I don't know what to do Reddit. Help me. I already notice that I'm unintentionally rehearsing "the speech" in my head but I just want to make this work!
We want the same things in life, we get along so well. I know I won't find someone I am more compatible with or who treats me better. I don't know what's missing to make that spark return.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my GF [22F] had been together 1 month, she told me she loved me while we were having sex, I said it back to save awkwardness but didn't mean it...
POST: Sorry about the length, but there is a lot going on here...
At the time, I told her "I love you too" because
a) We were having sex and I was still inside of her, and I figured it would be really awkward if I said anything different, and
b) I assumed I would eventually fall in love with her, so why not just start saying it?
That was 6 months ago. We are still dating, but I still do not feel that strongly about her. She is head over heels in love with me, and I'm the first guy she has said "I love you" to. She is really sweet and I really don't want to break her heart, but I feel like breaking up with her is inevitable because, simply put, I'm just not in love with her.
To complicate things, I moved out of the country for grad school two months ago, so now we are in a long distance relationship. I will be here for the next 2-3 years year-round. Neither of us have the money for her to visit. She wants to stay together (she always talks about the future, about how when I finish grad school we're going to start our lives together, etc.) and I just can't see that happening. I guess I'm being a little too realistic, but I can't help but think that skyping 3-4 times a week for 3 years is really going to work, especially considering my lack of strong feelings for her. Just writing this is making me realize that I probably need to break up with her, but I feel terrible about it, and wouldn't know how to go about doing it even if I decided that's what I am going to do.
If anybody can relate, or has any advice that would be great.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My landlord wants to move a 5th guy in against our will. Advice?
POST: Here's the situation:
I move into my place a couple of months ago. Its a nice cheap place and we love it. Anyway in one of our bathrooms there is this random door which they claim is storage and it is not included on our lease. We think its weird, but we don't see in it and figure there is a staircase or something to get into it another way.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. They open the door and its a fully furnished room and they inform us that they plan to move someone in there. We offer to pay a few hundred more and add it to our lease, but they say its not good enough. We instruct them that we are not going to allow them to move anyone in there.
Now get to present day. They try to move a guy in there. We tell him and our landlord it is not going to happen. The "new roommate" comes back to us alone and just hardcore rages calling us names and saying he has rights and will pursue legal action. He has signed a lease with landlord already.
We go back and forth with the landlord and say that we would be ok with still adding it onto our lease. He agrees for June 15th to start that. Then comes back and says the new guy really needs to stay here and for us to compromise. He only wants to reduce our rent minimally and would still be making a decent profit off the guy staying there. He says he will try to get him out in two months. Then asks us to go talk about it and let us know what he thinks.
I've been googling and searching for renter's rights and things of the such, but not been finding much. We are in Los Angeles, CA. I figured reddit knows a lot about this kind of stuff or at least can point me in the right direction because I've never dealt with anything like this before. So help please?
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Question about certificate of trust & act independently clause. (multiple states)
POST: In Maryland/USA
The bank wants a married couple with a living trust to sign a certificate of trust form. The "Trustees can Act Independently" box was pre-checked. This was in response to a request to fund both spouses retirement accounts from an account in the trust.
I've read this is normal to have the act independently clause to avoid issued with locations of trustees and getting everyone together to sign documents. However, this doesn't necessarily apply in this case - we live together.
Spouse has had conversations with the financial advisers without me. Our relationship has been a little shaky in recent months. Can this act independently clause be used to close the trust, disperse funds away from the trust, or remove the other trustee out of the trust without a that trustee's knowledge?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Another spat with my[M25] girlfriend[23/f]
POST: Had another row with the girlfriend today. Day was fine, good, dandy, however you want to put it. I had taken her out to eat and then we were going to see a movie, but she tells me she's too tired to go now (she was going to pay for the movie while I got dinner). I say that's fine we'll go home, but she had to get some things from the store first.
Well we go to the craft store and she gets the things she needs, but then starts looking at Halloween decorations. We just moved in together and she wanted to decorate for Halloween. We already have a few autumn decorations up.
She starts picking up things left and right, she ends up with 5 things in the basket and asks if she should get a sixth. I told her she already had a ton, but it was her money, so if it was important enough to her, go ahead and get it.
Well she kinda took a step back and asked why I wasn't paying for any of it. We got in a small argument with my point being that I didn't want to pay for any decorations because I didn't care if we had any up and her argument was she wanted it to look nice for Halloween.
So, she puts the stuff back and tells me in passive-aggressive voice that it's fine and I obviously don't care how the house looks for the holidays and proceeds to give me the silent treatment.
As we get home, she grabs the decorations she had previously put up and put them in the garage. When I asked why she said that I obviously didn't care, so why should she?
So. My question is: was she trying to spend my money or was I being unreasonable?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: im suffocating in jealousy and desperately need help!
POST: I am in a fantastic relationship. I am 28 (f) he is 32 (m) and we have been together coming up to 18 months. We live together.
I have somewhere along the way gone from a rational human being to being jealous and possessive. I don't know how to stop though I do try.
I've always thought too much and let my head get out of control. I've suffered from an eating disorder on and off since I was 7 and would say I am in recovery. I have gained weight which is making me incredibly insecure but I know it happens and will even itself out.
My partner is a wonderful man, we love each other dearly and want to have a long, healthy relationship. But I am fast ruining things. And I would love to hear from others in a similar situation. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to go out in public because I am so insecure about how I look, I don't want to face the masses of gorgeous women wearing next to nothing and feel completely inadequate (I'm in Australia it's hot here). I see him look at a hot girl and I spiral, it's ridiculous. It's unfair on him. It's gotten to the point where I have zero control over my head and I feel like I'm living in a prison of my own making.
I hate it and I hate myself for it. I'm miserable and I'm dragging my wonderful boyfriend down with me. I really do try and I attempt to fake it but it doesn't last long. I want to stop being so jealous and possessive, I want it to no longer be a part of me.
I've read article, talked to counsellors, read books. I haven't yet found any solid information and advice so I'm asking here. What has worked for you in the past? What books have helped change your mind set?
Please I'm looking for anything that will snap me out of this bs!!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: After months of being unemployed, I [20/M] am having a hard time working completely different shifts than my partner [21/M]
POST: To give some background:
I love my partner, we've been through hell and back, with each of us playing the demon and the angel in different areas. We've come through that, and are now living exclusively alone, and happy doing so.
A long time ago, he moved here from Germany to live with me, and we both worked to live together.
However, during the last many, many months, I was unemployed, and he was supporting me. I love him so much for doing that, and because of it, we had many nights laughing, drinking, staying up all night to watch TV shows, and working on our dream. He has a degree in Game Design, and I've been learning the necessary programming language, you see, so we spent many nights talking up our ideas, and laying out a foundation to our dream, which seemed concrete.
Now that I'm working, things are rough.
He works 3 12-hour shifts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 6:30pm to 7:00am. I work M-F from 8am-6pm, so obviously we aren't around each other as much as we used to be, and its taking it's toll on me.
I love him, and I would never quit my job and leave him supporting me, but its taking it's toll. I want to be around him, I want to have days like we used to. Now, though, I'm waking up before he gets home on Fridays and Mondays, and I'm going to bed before he's ready to. Our hopes and dreams, it seems to me, are dissolving into this monotonous work-life drone.
I really don't know what to do, should he look for a different shift or job? Should I drudge through this (like I know I can) until opportunity shows it's face? Or...well, what else?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] of 2 years, I feel trapped and like I'm walking on thin ice all the time
POST: Hey guys, trying my best here so bare with me.
My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 2 years now. I do love her, I want the best for her. Recently there has been a lot of tension between us because while I am a senior in high school, she is a junior in high school.
Throughout most of the relationship I had been making a mistake: I had not been including her in my life in the same way she included me in hers. It's hard because she cannot drive but I was not letting her meet my friends and family. I turned it around and introduced her to my whole family and grandparents but she still gets mad when I go somewhere without her, even though my family now knows her.
So the main problem is that I am soon going off to college, and I feel trapped. I feel as though whenever I go somewhere she will explode on me unless I bring her with me. My older brother is at college and invited me up for the weekend. I am scared to tell her that I'm going away for a weekend because she could verbally abuse me if I don't bring her but if I do bring her she might be disrespectful to my brother or his friends. At this point the relationship is stressing me out so much and I feel trapped. I love her and I only see her twice a week. At this point most of our interactions are negative at some point. I am the kind of person who is scared to upset people but I end up upsetting myself because I just trap myself in situations to please someone else. This is both of our first relationships and she has severe trust issues. I tell her that she can trust me and that is one of the biggest reasons I can't ever bring myself to do anything about it because I don't want to ruin her already damaged trust. This has become the biggest stress in my otherwise currently stress free life (I'm a senior in high school, I am admitted to my first choice university, and school work is at an all time low.) and it's driving me crazy.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 M] don't find my girlfriend [30 F] (for six months) sexually attractive but love her with all my heart.
POST: Normally, I'd say that it doesn't make any sense to continue this relationship but she truly loves me with everything she has and would do everything for me. I also love her and even think about having a family with her.
She was very hurt by a failed 12 year marriage where she was cheated on while he also didn't want to have sex with her.
However, I - subconciously - avoid physical contact as much as possible. I just don't find her attractive, she isn't my type.
Additionally, I'm not very social or emotional (picture: IT geek) and I don't require physical contact as much as she does. I never had a real girlfriend or felt loved by another person. I'm a total emotional cripple. I can actively bring myself to perform physical acts of love but this - being a conscious act - just isn't enough for her.
I don't want to leave her but we argue at least twice a week and she is very emotional - she is a **high sensitive person** (check Wikipedia). She cries all the time, shouts and is extremely aggressive since she fears that I'm going to leave her. She tries to use guilt as a mean to hold me, to force me to give her what she wants. These fights hurt me very much. They hurt me so much that I get physically ill.
Last night we argued until 1 AM and she said, that I'm her last chance for a relationship and she invested so much, since she is already 30.
I can feel that she is deeply hurt by her previous marriage but I can't give her what she needs. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I want to give her the physical love she needs, but can't.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: There is a guy that has been sending[25/M] my wife [27/F] messages on facebook asking for pictures and such. Should I tell his girlfriend what he's doing?
POST: My wife is very attractive and works as a bartender so we're used to her getting messages from random people saying how hot she is, asking for pictures etc. I'm used to it. I'm not the jealous type and she usually handles it herself, so it doesn't really bother me. One guy in particular bothered me. Neither me or my wife know the guy, but we have many mutual friends. He did the usual "you're so beautiful, please send pics" routine. She just ignored him so he started with "why don't you like me? Are you not attracted to me". She responded, telling him thanks for the compliment but she's happily married and not interested. He didn't get the hint and told her how it was his birthday and asked her to "just play a little". He even sent her his phone number. At this point, she came to me and asked me to intervene. I did, he never responded to me or sent her another message. After browsing through his Facebook, I got irritated. He has a lot of posts talking about his hatred of cheaters and fake people and how much he loves his girlfriend. So my first thought upon seeing his hipocrasy was to screen cap his conversation and sent it to her, to show what a piece of shit she is with. On one hand, its not my business and I don't really care since I don't know either of these people. On the other, I would want to know if it was happening to me. I just don't want me or my wife getting blamed for his problems.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] with my husband [32M] together 10- married 8- 2 kids- struggling with growing apart- don't know what to do about our relationship?
POST: We met in college. Got pregnant after two weeks and now two kids and 10 years later I am starting to have doubts.
Both of us have put on at least 100 pounds and neither of us are really attracted to one another anymore. We've tried COUNTLESS diets together to no avail, and as terrible as it sounds, I don't hate my body and wish he didn't either. (I don't hate his either! But he does and the lack of confidence is a turn off)
It goes deeper than sex though- we have no common interests and work opposite schedules to avoid putting the kids in daycare and only ever see each other after 9pm at the earliest and when we do get together it's to watch tv. Again. He has no other interests than weed and tv. I've tried "forcing" him to branch out and go out on family adventures but it usually just ends in him bitching the whole time. On the same note, he really wishes I was more interested in weed or wrestling or sports but I just can't get into it.
Finally, we are dirt poor and while he still makes more than me, I've gone from minimum wage to twice as much in ten years while he is still working for the exact same amount with no ambitions of ever moving on. I am starting to see this as a major turn offend wish that he was driven or had goals. I don't fault him, but find that it's incompatible to my life plans.
There are countless more things separating us (our incompatible sexual preferences, our incompatible parenting styles, etc.)
The problem is that despite our differences, he has always been totally supportive and loving and amazing showing infinite forgiveness and compassion. He stuck by me through unemployment and mental illness. He tells me how important I am to him and how much he loves me regularly which makes wanting something more all the more guilt-inducing. Please feel free to just tell me what an asshole I'm being. Maybe that's what I need to get over myself.
I also want to provide a loving two parent home for our kids.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my SO [27 M] of 7 years, does not want me spending time w/ friends
POST: I have seriously had it.
A little background, I work for a firm that requires me to be at work Mon - Fri, 7am to 12/1am and have little time to myself, to hang out w/ friends or to spend w/ my SO. My SO is a student and even though we live close to his Uni, he stays on campus and we rarely see during the week.
I try to be as available to my SO as possible but occasionally would want to go out w/ my friends (I only have 3 close ones) to chat.
However, my SO would not have any of that. He always complains that he sacrifices his weekend so he could spend all 2 days w/ me and he would end up guilting me into staying at home, even when it is boring AF.
I don't know what to do. Am I selfish for wanting some time w/ my friends? Also, am I supposed to be grateful he is willing to spend time with me?
Another thing is we stay in a 1-room apartment so whenever my friends wanted to come over, he would LEAVE. He could stay in the same room and not contribute to the conversation but he would never stay (as I don't mind doing when his friends come over but he always asks me to leave). And whenever I suggest he hangs out at some bar/restaurant and come back later in the day, he would complain that he didn't wanna do so and grumble about me running him out of the house.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is one of the most amusing coincidental moments you have ever been apart of or witnessed?
POST: When I was nine years old, I was left home alone with my sister. I can't remember exactly what happened, but something had startled me that was outside the house before my parents left. My sister knew this and being the wonderful sister she is, decided to scare me. I was on the computer in a room where the computer was positioned close to a window. She snuck outside and beat on the window, making me scream and run to my room. She came back inside the house, laughing hysterically. I was pissed, as she knew I was already on edge, so I decided to get her back.
My sister called her boyfriend to laugh about and she walked into her bathroom for a moment. I took this opportunity to crawl under her bed.
When she walked back into her room, she asked her boyfriend what the most terrifying thing to him was. He answered and then I can only assume that he asked her the same question. Her answer was this, "Probably if someone grabbed me from underneath my bed and pulled me under."
At this point I was having a hard time holding back laughter. She was sitting on her bed with her feet on the floor. So, I did what any little sister seeking revenge would do. I grabbed her ankles, screamed as loud as I could and yanked her feet under the bed. She screamed and ran away while I laid under the bed, laughing my ass off.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Seeking Advice for Unique Date Ideas!
POST: I could use help in finding a creative date spot!
I'm heading into my 4th date with a guy that I *really* like. I've dated enough to know when there's long term potential, and it's definitely there. I don't want to over think anything or scare him away with over-sentimentality, but I want to show him that I care enough to go out of my comfort zone for him - say, like, writing to a group of internet strangers for dating advice.
He's into urban planning and transportation. We live in DC, and I would like to arrange the next date to be transportation-themed (if that makes any sense). There's a restaurant inside Union Station that could be fun, but beyond that I'm stumped. Is this too cheesy? Too soon? I would appreciate your thoughts and suggestions for date locations!
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being too honest with my ex
POST: Disclaimer: Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I've been drinking.
So my ex gf and I who are on good terms and fuck buddies had finished up doing the deed and were laying in bed talking about possibly getting back together in the future and the topic of us both being on Tinder came up. Me, being the single guy I am, had hooked up with a chick on it a few weeks ago (fully protected of course) and didn't think much about it. She on the other hand apparently couldn't bring herself to see anyone else since we broke up 2-3 months ago.
Well, my ass just happened to mention that I had hooked up with this other chick, and while to me, it seemed like whatever, my ex took it kind of hard, telling me that she wanted to leave right away so she could go cry. Now I feel like an ass for hurting her since we both still have feelings for each other. I feel like an ass because my ex is someone I really want in my life, and at the time I hooked up with the other chick I was like, shit, I'm single so fuck it I can bang whoever I want! I'm just worried that my ex will be out of my life for good.
Dammit why can't I be a better liar/suppressor of truth? Some things are better left unsaid.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I [17/f] friend-zone a guy (18/m) without being an awful person?
POST: So there's a guy at my school that I'm kind of friends with, and I've known him for about a year. He asked me to all the school dances, and I went with him because I didn't want to be rude and say no. I know he's into me because he's told me. But I don't feel the same way. I've tried to send him lots of friendship signals, but he's really of oblivious. I want to let him know for sure that we can only be friends sooner rather than later, and I have a lot of reasons besides the fact that I don't like him back. He's really clingy and that's irritating but I hate to be rude. He's also Morman, so he's going to BYU branch and then on a mission trip during college, so I'll be done with my bachelor's degree eons before he is, and I'm an atheist, and I feel really uncomfortable because he keeps inviting me to his church functions. I feel like he's not getting the bigger picture that there is no long or short term future for us, because he keeps dropping hints about how he "wishes we were going to the same college" and those sort of hints. I mean he's a pretty nice guy, but he's way too oblivious to understand that there's no future, and I don't know how to say it without being a complete jerk... so...advice?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How would you confront your fellow club member/coworker?
POST: Throwaway account.
Redditors I need your help.
I'm currently on a board for a sports club at my school. With several other club board members, we allocate and organize finances to attend competitions and plan events. Our finances must be approved by school admins before we can act on it. None of the work we do is paid by the school.
This past year, we have had major issues regarding two members who have been stepping out of line and disrespecting us despite our efforts. This has created a slight schism within our club that I want to address because I care a lot about this club and don't want it to dissolve because of personal conflicts.
**Member A**:
1. One of the oldest members. A is also talented in the sport so that has earned him respect.
2. **BUT** ANGER ISSUES (i.e. huge argument with school admin-> bad rep for club)
3. Despite his well intentions to contribute more the club, his temper has really deterred any board member from allowing him to make contact with school officials. Meanwhile, he has continued to criticize our efforts. I can't get him to understand that we are a small force that can only do so much.
**Member B**
1. Formerly held unofficial position but was removed due to a miscommunication. Costed the club several hundred dollars. Never apologized for his actions.
2. Requested him to do favors for the club because without his help, we wouldn't be able to attend a tournament. He refused and only offered the favor when we held an emergency meeting with the coach regarding this situation.
While our coach is not affiliated with the school, we plan on asking our coach for advice.
Maybe I'm holding too big of a personal grudge but since these members will be around for at least another year, I want to learn how I can address these issues. Because they obviously don't respect us for work and effort we put in, confronting them is going to be a challenge. How can I give it to them?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [M26] is going on another vacation without me [F24]. His sister and a couple of their friends are going. Why can I? Am I being clingy?
POST: I've been feeling really down lately, so I figured I'd ask for other opinions on this. He's [M26] and I'm [F24]. We've been in a serious relationship for about eight months.
This afternoon, my boyfriend non-chalantly informed me that he'd be gone for a week because he's going on vacation with his sister and a couple of their friends. He said they were going to Atlantis (sp?) in the Bahamas in a couple of weeks. I've never heard of the place, so I don't know anything about it. I'll admit that I'm jealous because I want to go and spend time with him. But I didn't want to invite myself, so I didn't say anything.
He did the same thing on July 4th -- which we didn't get to spend together because he went on a trip with his sister and their friends to Northern Michigan; where they spent a long weekend celebrating on the lake. It's not like we had any plans or anything, but it would've been nice to get invited along, especially since it was a holiday.
He always encourages me to travel and spend time with my friends, which I do. But, I want to travel and spend time WITH HIM. When we're together, we get along great and he treats me really well. I just wish he'd take me along sometimes instead of leaving me behind. He really values his freedom and independence, so I'm kinda afraid to say anything.
My friends think I should invite myself along but I'd feel uncomfortable doing that. Should I just let this go or should I say something to him? Last time I tried talking to him about this, he told me he wouldn't mind if I went on a vacation with my friends without him. Ugh.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Brother zoned
POST: I've been friends with this girl for 6+ years were like best friends we can tell eachother anything I've liked her for about 2 ish years now she knows I like her but she just says that I'm like a brother to her so it would just be weird, personally I don't see why it would be weird we would be good together everyone thinks that well everyone but her, we're both 14 and I were going to be going to the same highschool (I moved schools for a year) and I want to show her or some how get her to see that we'd be good together how exacly would you think I should do that?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] SO [24M] of 1 year is subbed to a r/gonewild girl's subreddit who posts daily and he frequently downloads her pictures. I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable.
POST: Pretty much the title. I'm fine with porn, but am generally very uncomfortable with gonewild, which my boyfriend browses occasionally. But I can't make demands or ask my boyfriend to stop just because it makes me feel insecure.
I dislike gonewild because, as is often said by other girls who have this same issue, it's not porn where there's a distance between the girl and the viewer. Also the girls are posting specifically for the attention of guys - my boyfriend included. It's very social and personal and I really dislike it, but whatever.
The fact that he is subbed to a *particular* girl and frequently downloads her pictures is just 10x worse.
Before people ask, I know he does this because I had to download something on his computer the other day and it automatically opened up to the folder he downloads her pictures to. Her folder is also listed under frequently browsed and under quick access. He's also saved her posts in front of me and downloaded her posts in front of me as well.
And sometimes they're not even nude photos. They're just her face with a cute titled post. Ugh.
It makes me feel like shit and I hate it.
I want to tell him how it makes me feel, and I guess that would help. But I don't think it would be fair for me to ask him to stop even though I really wish he would. And I feel like he'd continue to do it even if he knew it upsets me. I feel like it just doesn't matter how I feel.
Am I being ridiculous?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] girlfriend [26 F] wants to try long distance relationship
POST: I met my girlfriend in the summer of last year. We had an amazing year together, fell in love, and learned a lot about each other. I care about her more than I've experienced in any other relationship. She's beautiful, incredibly smart, and kind. We have very compatible lifestyles and also share common long-term goals.
She recently got a job offer on the west coast (I'm on east coast) and it's a great opportunity for her. We agreed she should definitely take it, but I was honest that I like my life / job / family here, and don't intend to leave.
She wants to pursue a long distance relationship, which I'm not really comfortable with. I would rather keep the memories we have together, instead of introducing the challenges / frustration of distance, which puts strain on even the strongest relationships.
She's sad because I'm not giving it a chance, but I also feel like there's no end in sight. Normally with distance, you know when you'll be back together, but this is all just unknowns.
She's been gone for a month now, and I miss her every day. I've never felt like this in my life. She still calls to check in sometimes, and hearing her voice lights up my entire day. I know she wants me to reconsider, but I'm scared that long distance will ruin everything we had.
My only past experience with long distance was really negative. The girl ended up being "too busy" to talk for days on end, and eventually turned out she was cheating on me. I know it's not fair to carry that to this new relationship, but I guess I can't get rid of how much that hurt.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] thinking about the timing of a break up with my SO [23M] of 2 years.
POST: Long story short, I am afraid I am just sticking with our relationship just to not screw up either of our school priorities.
We both have finals in less than one month, with a lot of pressure on them (seniors). Our relationship is not stressful in any way for either of us, I have fun with him but I know he's not someone I want to keep dating after I graduate. We have talked about what to do after graduation and I have said I will be somewhere far away and won't have time for an SO. He has said he wants to stay friends and I agree.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my whole class I thought semen was delicious NSFW
POST: TIFU by
**Idk if this is actually NSFW because I'm talking about things that were discussed in a high school biology class but I thought I'd play it safe**
This happened to me back in high school and it's one of those moments that still passes my mind as being excruciatingly embarrassing.
So a little info about me: I am a very sarcastic person. Not only that but to make my personality even more annoying, my sarcasm is often undetectable. I've been told even by close friends that they can't tell whether I'm being serious or not. Another thing to add is that, like most people, I usually say things without thinking. Okay I'm realizing now that these are all just excuses for what happened so let me just get on with my story. Oh one more thing that might not matter but I am of the female gender.
I was sitting in my high school biology class, bored out of my mind per usual. Focusing has always been super hard for me so I was doodling on my paper instead of taking notes (wow I have so many excuses for myself this is getting ridiculous). Anyways, I had no idea what the teacher was talking about and I was just scribbling away and probably thinking about what I was going to eat for lunch that day. So my selective hearing turned on when I heard my teacher say words like "full of mucus" and other gross words I can't remember. So since I thought I was being hilarious, still looking down at my blank notes, without thinking I said "yummy!". The teacher got silent so I looked up to see that she was talking about the contents of semen. My teacher was probably in shock and it took her a couple seconds to regain her train of thought before she continued teaching.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How should I [23 F] let him [26 M] know I am no longer interested in dating?
POST: I know this is a very simple question, but this is the first time I've really "dated" in the conventional sense.
This guy is sort of a "friend of a friend" from a long time ago, so I would call him a long-time acquaintance. We recently saw each other at a bar, and he asked me out a few days after. We've been on two dates, and they actually went pretty well! But there are a few things going on that make me want to discontinue this.
1) I just ended a PAINFUL long-term relationship about a month ago. Even though I'm totally over the guy, I'm still a little messed up from the emotionally disasterous relationship itself. And this new guy is the "always in a serious relationship" type who is almost definitely looking for a serious gf.
2) I am seeing someone else. We are also just dating, but it's casual and fun, which is a lot more of what I'm looking for right now.
3) I just don't think we clicked! Unfortunately he thinks we REALLY did.......
Anyways, I'm not sure how much information I have to give him when explaining why I don't want to see him anymore, so this is one question I have.
My main question is HOW? He's ALWAYS texting me, and we don't spend any time talking on the phone or anything, so it might be weird to call. But it doesn't seem necessary to tell him in person or anything. Is it completely ridiculous for people our age to say "no thanks" to future dates via text? Obviously calling is a lot more stressful, but if it's the right thing to do, I will.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] teammate [19 F] just kissed me (in the cheek) in front of her boyfriend[23 M] and I feel like I'm being dragged into their drama.
POST: So I have a paper to writewith a teammate from the class that I wouldn't really describe as a friend, the closest we got to friends is walk together after class if we're headed the same way.
So we had planned to meet in the lab to work on our paper, and she came late (a friend told me because she had an argument with her boyfriend, but I didn't really pay attention to it) After about to hours her boyfriend comes in and tells her to go somewhere with him as they planned and she seemed to be really upset with him but for some reason she decided she'll go anyway. She left the lab before he did and on her way out she leaned in and kissed me goodbye. I saw him right after she did and he didn't seem very comfortable.
Is this weird? Or is it just some normal thing that people do?
To clarify, I live in Morocco,a nd kissing you close friends in the cheek is pretty common here, the boyfriend is an American exchange student,a nd the girl and I are Moroccan
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SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Life and Irony and growing up.
POST: I will try and be brief. Ive been at University for many years now and have never been a great student. I only truly went to college because I thought that's just what was expected of me. I failed time and time again and switched majors as well. Well I was dismissed for a year and came back because "I had figured it out" and for a year and a half I made decent grades and did better, but then I quickly realized I hated computer programming, it made me sick to my stomach. And after this semester I will be permanently dismissed from my University. Ironically, I have recently started working at the NBC station in my city and I have realized that I love it (the irony part is that I was a journalism student years ago and failed miserably at it) and that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life and that I now have clear direction and goals for my education. I will need a degree to move on to bigger and better news markets and I realize that this is what I want and I would be willing to put in the sacrifice to make that happen. SO my plan is going to be to become great at my job and show them that I really want to be there and become a valuable asset to them. But, how am I ever going to get back into school in the future after being permanently dismissed from my current university?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F34] need to know how to stop husband's [M34] gaslighting
POST: Married 3 years, second marriage for us both. We have 4 kids, two are mine, two are his. I love him and despite what I'm about to say, he's a great guy. Successful and smart and affectionate and loyal. He's an amazing father and we have a really fun life.
I have long known he was a compulsive liar but it always seemed to be little things that didn't matter (what he ate for lunch, what he said in a text to his mother, etc).
His lying has become a major issue in our marriage though. I don't trust a thing he says. It's causing huge insecurities for me in the relationship. He's finally started making efforts to be blunt and honest with me and I'm feeling hopeful. He is saying things I never thought I'd hear from him. (I'm not delusional, I know what I'm dealing with here.)
Today I learned a new word: gas lighting. Holy crap this guy has a masters degree in it. I don't think he does it on purpose though.
I'm not leaving him so I need to know how to combat this crap so I'm not stuck playing this stupid game. I looked online but all I see are ways to spot the tactics, no advice on how to combat it.
Can anyone provide a link to helpful material or share their experiences and insight?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [early 20s M] with my SO [late 20's F] of 3 years. Offered a job not sure if want, feeling pressure from SO.
POST: Me and My SO have been trying to find work for a long time now. We've been studying up until this point but now it's time to get a job.
I've been looking for jobs for the past few months and have just been through a long application and interview process for one job which, originally, i thought I wanted but because the process was so long and arduous I burnt out and didn't feel attracted to the job anymore.
Anyway I just got offered this job and I don't particularly want it anymore.
My SO wants me to take any job i can get, but I have also just committed to a bunch of other creative projects because I didn't think I would be getting the job I originally applied for. And as a result I don't think I should take this other job even though I need the money.
Am I being fussy or should I just do it?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20m] and my girlfriend [17f] just broke up and I need advice on what to do at this point (details inside)
POST: Alright /r/relationships, here's the situation.
She and I dated for a year and half roughly, and about three days ago, she moved to new orleans for school. Because of the huge distance, we broke up. Currently, we're both really unhappy because we still completely love each other and miss each other, since we broke up for no reason other than distance. I would love advice on this situation- is it worth trying to stay together? is it smarter to just try to figure out some way to move on?
Some background on each of us- I'm 20, been through a really shitty relationship before her, and now that I was actually in a good relationship I got much more wrapped up in the relationship.
She's 17 and had a lot of emotional issues in the past that I've helped her with. She just started college this year.
So is it worth trying to keep the relationship alive, or is it better to just move on?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my Father [58 M], a distant relative is sick and my father wants me to visit.
POST: I'll try to keep this brief. A distant family member, someone who I've maybe met once or twice in my life is sick and about to pass away. My father, upon hearing this news immediately jumped on a plane and flew across the country to visit.
This all came very unexpectedly because as I've said, this is not a person I really knew growing up. I had to ask my father how he was related to us because I didn't even recognize his name. My father rarely visited or kept in contact with his family when I was a kid except for a few cousins. So I was shocked that he flew out here, considering he has to so carefully plan his visits here that he missed my college graduation.
So aside from my admittedly petty bitterness about my dad's traveling schedule, he is insisting that I come with him to visit this relative after I get off work tonight. I'm currently on the second day of a six day, possibly seven day work week, and I work 12 hours a day. This visit would also require a two hour roundtrip, aside from the painfully awkward small talk time I would have to sit through for possibly hours on end. I simply do not want to go. I'm tired and stressed. I barely know this man and his family, and I just went through an incredibly difficult ordeal last month dealing with the loss of my grandmother. I'm too emotionally exhausted to deal with this kind of thing right now, and I seriously doubt my presence would be missed. I feel like my father just wants to show me off, despite the fact that he has little to do with my accomplishments.
So am I a terrible person for not wanting to go? I should add that I do feel a bit guilty about not making the time to spend with my father, but whenever he comes to visit he routinely asks me to keep entire days free so that we can spend time together, but then blows me off because he gets too stoned to function.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Redditors: How do you react when your ex tells you they are now engaged/married?
POST: I have dated girls throughout my life, but only one stood out as the one I had a genuine meaningful relationship with. She was my best friend for a few months prior to dating. We dated for about a year, and then time came when she had to leave for college. We broke up out of fairness that we wouldn't put each other through the stress of a long distance relationship. It was a bad break up. I didn't talk to her for a year. She texted me on my birthday to wish me a happy day. I texted her back a couple weeks later. We tried to do some catching up. Then she just straight up told me she's engaged. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I just told her congratulations and that I was happy for her and wished her a happy life. I can't tell if I was hurt by it, but I just never talked to her again and she never talked to me again either. That was the end of us. No matter how much I try not to, I still reminisce about the past and what the future could have held.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: booty call question
POST: I dated a girl for a month or so. Everything seemed good. We had sex once.
Yesterday I called her and she told me she thinks we should end it. She said she thinks I'm great but we need to end it because she doesn't have her shit together. I emailed asking for an explanation:
>"Its totally all me, you did nothing to contribute to this. I am coming out of a bad situation with my ex, and I thought I was ready to date again, but my gut is telling me otherwise. I have completely enjoyed your company; you are quite a catch. I just am not ready to be involved with someone right now, and I don't want to waste your time."
I feel like a douchebag suggesting this, but I'm kind of thinking I have nothing to lose. I'm thinking of sending her an email such as the following. What does reddit think? Any changes or suggestions? Should I wait or make the suggestion right away?
>This may be completely inappropriate...I felt really good with you and find you very attractive. With the understanding that we won't have a relationship...If you aren't seeing anyone else and would like some physical affection, you can call me.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [120M] trying to date a girl at work [18/F] I've known her for a month. Not replying.
POST: **I'm [20/M] not 120 like that title 'suggests'.**
I met a girl at work about a month ago. We talked and really hit off.
About 3 weeks into knowing her I asked her out to go to the cinema, we went and then after got a meal. I paid for both, at the restaurant she said she'll pay and got her card, but playfully I took her card off her and paid myself. She seemed abit offended but nothing major.
Later on after I'd dropped her off she text me asking if it was a date, and I said it was and she seemed OK with it and then said next time she'll pay.
A week later I had a free house and she came round, we watched a few movies and she cooked us dinner, with stuff she'd bought. We drank a bit but nothing really happened, we cuddled and went to bed and just slept with her in my arms.
In the morning we cuddled a bit more and generally just horsed around. I got to do something and just gave a peck on her forehead.
We continued to cuddled and then when it came for me to drop of her off we shared a quick kiss, just like a peck.
Now I've been messaging her because I've had two weeks holiday off work. I'll be talking to her and then suddenly she'll stop replying. Usually its when I ask if she wants to meet up, but it can just randomly happen. Whenever I ask her for a specific day she'll always be doing something or 'something will come up'.
Also we was texting and she said she had 'talked to her future hubby' which is someone else she works with.
I dont know if she's trying to give me a hint. I feel like the second 'date' only happened becasue she felt like she had to pay me back. I don't know what to do or anything. I see her in work on Saturday and I want to tell her, ask her what I can do, or if she's just not into me. But I just don't know how.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/f]I accidentally told him [23/m] I loved him.
POST: We've been dating for around 4 months and things are going really well. We live together while I am waiting to go back to college in January. We haven't said "I love you" yet, but expressed that we have strong feelings for each other. He told me at one point early on that he felt like he was falling for me but he was jaded from past relationships and felt it was too soon to say it. Today he was leaving for the gym and without even thinking about it I let "love you" slip out. He said "Aww I love you too." But now I can't stop thinking about how I had planned on saying it in a more romantic moment when it seemed appropriate and now I am mortified for ruining it. I also am worried that he might have felt obligated to say it back.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22 F] / Just had a regretful one night stand with a "friend" who is clearly lonely and extremely unable to read social cues. How do I tell him to leave me alone?
POST: To be fair, I shouldn't have slept with him in the first place. He just moved to town (we knew each other from college) and I thought we were just going to be friends. As the night went on and I had a few drinks, things turned in a completely different direction.
I'm not repulsed by what happened. I am just shaken up about how much he has been texting me. Nothing creepy, just constant random stuff, every day. Random or banal questions, pictures of who I should be for Halloween, asking how I am over and over...
I feel like a bad guy. I've had to let him know in the past (before anything sexual happened) that he was texting me too much. But I did it in a very respectful way and he took it well. But I'll feel like a jackass if I have to do it again.
On the other hand, just ignoring him seems completely rude.
I'm open to continuing our friendship. I just need to know this won't happen again. And I need him either way to ease up on the texting.
Should I continue texting him bland answers? By the way, he does not get that short replies or late replies might mean I'm not very interested.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why being rejected never feels better?
POST: I went with the idea of *being rejected multiple times makes it hurt less*, so I kept getting rejected like a champ to realize.. its doesn't feel any better. It hurt as much as the first time.
About two years ago I asked a girl out, it was brutal, it was my first time and she flat out said no. For about a week I was pretty depressed, I really felt depressed.
I read somewhere that the more practice you get, it wont matter to you anymore. Four girls later and four rejections later, its as brutal as before.
Is it that I feel the anticipation of her saying yes and being disappointed that gets me or is it something else?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [17M] Have to stop seeing the girl of my dreams because of her family..
POST: A little background info: I am 17, she is 16. We come from religious Muslim families, though we are not as religious. Her brothers are assholes, and if they found out we would be in deep shit.
Things went great for 4 months, and for some reason she took the passcode off her phone (she says her father asked her why she had, he then made her take it off) and her brothers proceeded to go through it, reading our texts and exposing our relationship. They end up telling her parents, and shit the roof.
They took her sim card out, factory reset her phone, and banned us from ever talking. There is, however a catch. She told them that she was willing to marry me to make it right. Her parents said she needs to wait 9 years until she has a degree and a steady job to even consider marrying me. So tell me... What do I do? Im just so lost....
/
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I live with very conservative Catholic roommates who I clash with on many topics. It's a struggle to talk to them about anything regarding religion, politics, or social issues without being ganged up on and talked over. So Reddit, how can I successfully and respectfully dialogue with them?
POST: Basically, I room with 5 other girls in college. All but one are very conservative, very Catholic, and very set in their ways.
They give my other roommate and I (let's say her name is Sam) a lot of crap for not going to church everyday or for drinking at a friend's house or (in my case) leaning on the more Democratic side of the political field.
I don't want it to sound like they're horrible people. They're not. We have a great time together as long as the topics of religion and politics aren't brought up. I just have no idea how to interact with them when they get into one of their ranting moods that degrade me as a person as well as my beliefs.
I need your help, Reddit. How do I successfully dialogue with them and help them to see my side of the story without being ganged up upon and practically shunned?
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