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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Update: Me [25F] with my SO[30M] of 3 months, I found out he still has an online dating account when he said he didn't. POST: My previous post: I texted him yesterday since I could not wait till next week to ask him personally. Last night, I asked if he still has the dating account. I got a reply this morning: "I dont have it you can check it yourself." So I said that my friend can still see his account and that he last logged a month ago. He said: "Yes because they renew my subscription automatically so I went in to cancel it." He also included a snapshot of an email from the site reminding him to renew. To be fair, he did deactivated his account when we had the talk about being exclusive because I checked his profile before I deactivated mine and it wasn't there three months ago. I replied that I suspected it was a spam and just wanna clear things. And reminded him that it is still up there, though people cannot message him since it's not platinum now. Again, there may be a reason to suspect that this is just a glitch in the system of the site. He isn't replying again. I think he's mad. We had a pretty similar incident on our 2nd week together, where I suggested that we get STI panel together before we heat things up. He agreed but then he stopped replying to my texts when I said we can still see each other but can't really sleep together before the test. He said things in the line of "I dont understand how you can be with me if you dont trust me." So now, I think he's doing the passive-aggressive thing again of not talking to me when I voiced out a trust issue between us. I think I now appear too insecure to him, which is true but I don't ever let him notice. This is the only second time we had a misunderstanding (the other 1 was the STI test incident). TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Was it just for fun, or is she interested? How do I find out without escalating? POST: Me: 34/M, Her: 27/M Last night, several of my friends and I went out dancing in West Hollywood, including a young lady that I've met at several functions over the last couple of months. We have a lot of mutual friends, she's quite striking, and we have a fair number of common interests, however, I've never sensed she was interested in being anything beyond friends, so never thought about trying to start anything between us. As the night went on, we started dancing together more. I can be pretty forward, but didn't know how far she wanted to taking things, and didn't want to put her in an awkward position in front of her friends, so I let her set the pace. She guided my hands across her body several times, and we probably spent the last 45 minutes of the evening making out until last call. Our friends all went their separate ways. I considered inviting her back to my place, but I don't typically like to jump right into bed with someone, so we said good night and each got into our respective taxis. I think she's a great person and I enjoyed the evening, though I've never sensed any chemistry between us until last night, so I'm not sure if this was her way of telling me she's interested, or she just wanted to fool around with a new guy on the dance floor and felt she could trust me. I've heard she just got out of a relationship in the last few weeks. We both had maybe two cocktails a piece, so enough for a mild buzz, but not enough that it would have impaired either of our judgment. My gut says that since I hadn't felt any chemistry in the past, and especially because we have a lot of mutual friends (and they're a gossipy bunch), it would be safer to just remain friends, rather than date and have it go poorly. She could very well feel the same. I'm not sure how to discern whether she's interested without asking her out on a date. What say you, Reddit? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My mother has been in a relationship for 2 years that is abusive. I don't know what to do. Please help. POST: I'm 25, and my mother is 43. She has been in an abusive relationship with a 52 year old man for 2 years. Without getting into too much detail, he lives with her and is very controlling of her. He knows her email password, and has her emails forwarded to his. He makes her take down photos of herself on facebook. These photos could be of her, or of her and a group of people..some of which are men. Also, she is not allowed to go out if there is another man present. There is much more that goes on than what I have listed. I have talked to her a few times about this when I still lived at home. She blew me off, saying that it was no big deal, etc. Today, I spoke with one of her long time friends who shares my concerns. I don't know what I can do at this point. My mother doesn't listen to me, her friends, or even her own mother. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20/F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 13 months, issues with honesty, respect, and no sex. POST: My boyfriend and I haven't had sex for a month or two. I believe at first this was because I wasn't getting off from it and I wanted him to focus on me a bit more. When that wouldn't work (I have trouble focusing on the pleasures during sex, can't orgasm easily) he'd often get very frustrated and I guess it eventually put him off trying anymore. Since then every time I bring it up he makes excuses as to why he doesn't want to have sex. The past two times he's slept over at my place I've tried to bring it up with him, both nights basically ended with him admitting he's very stressed out for reasons he won't tell me and that he's bad at talking about his problems. I've tried to be understanding and give him space but it's being going on for so long now that I think there's a deeper issue. At this point I'm feeling very confused and rejected. I'm pouring my heart out to him and he can't even tell me why he's so "stressed out". It's unfair to me because I spent the rest of the night going through every possible scenario that would be bad enough for him to not want to tell me. Is he cheating on me? Or maybe he's just not attracted to me anymore. Heck, it could be as simple as him having a lot of work to do but I wouldn't know because he won't tell me. Sometimes I'd admit to him how I really felt and he'd just sit there, I expect him to say something back and he just stays silent like he doesn't know what to say about anything. I haven't had these issues in the past with him before. I'm starting to believe he's not really into the relationship anymore and just doesn't want to believe it. It's gotten to the point where it isn't about sex anymore but more so him not being able to talk to me about his feelings. I'm fighting hard for this relationship and I don't think he realizes that if this continues I will probably have to end the relationship. It really sucks because apart from this issue and a few other small things I could really see spending a long time him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by breaking the female bro code. POST: So my flatmate has been obsessed with a mutual friend of hers since they hooked up, and I mean OBSESSED. Online profile stalking, checking what snapchats he'd opened/who were his snapchat 'besties', uploading stuff to see if he'd like it, the whole shebang. This is a guy she has slept with/seen a max of 6 times between September and January, and is an utter cunt. I love my flatmate but after hearing about this 'relationship' and its many, many traumas for 6+ months, I have been sucked dry of mmmm yeah's and awww, that's so shit's. I went into my flatmate's room today to find her stalking him on Facebook. Apparently he has a new fling as evidenced by photos of him with a girl (I know, hanging out with a female friend, what the fuck right?) 'That sucks', I said, as she moved onto stalking said girl. 'Look, this is her,' she replied, as she thrusted the laptop with the girl's profile picture on toward me. Normally I would have had a friend-boosting response ready and waiting, but I was extremely hungover and tired from a heavy night's drinking, and had already used up every variation of sympathetic response to the situation. With the alcohol still stewing my brain I didn't have time to think properly, so instead of the appropriate 'She looks gross', I immediately responded, 'Wow, she's really attractive'. As soon as the words started coming out of my mouth I heard it, but couldn't stop myself. My flatmate looked at me for a couple of seconds and then uttered the universal noise of disapproval: 'Hmm.' I waited a few more seconds but she didn't say anything or look at me again so I scarpered. She hasn't come out of her room or spoken to me since. Oops. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [M/17] girlfriend [F/16] of a year is starting to talk to other guys and it's making me feel uneasy. POST: Alright, to start things off my girlfriend has never really done this before. I wouldn't suspect her to cheat or anything like that, I know (for the most part) she's faithful, but the thought of her talking to other dudes is just making me feel on edge. I've told her I don't really like it, and it's not good, but she tells me I'm being controlling and she's not gonna cheat or anything. She's just trying to make friends, because she doesn't really have any, which I guess is understandable, but still. This weekend she's going to this guy's house, whose 20. And the thought of this just stresses me so much, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I know I can't tell her not to go, she wouldn't listen to me anyway. I don't really know what to do. I'm sure she wouldn't cheat, but that doesn't mean anything. What about the other guy? What if he does something? She's only 16, she can't stop some 20 year old from doing what he wants. I'm just really worried something might happen to her. If I lecture her and tell her this, she'll just say I'm acting like her parent, get mad at me, and do it anyways. I'm just really worried and freaking out inside, I don't know what to do. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] with my girlfriend [23F] of 4 years which 2 were of the long distance relationship kind. I need advice, do i try again? and how? POST: We broke up 2 months ago, she said it was getting too hard for her. She recently just graduated and started working for one of those big four accounting firms. Due to the huge work loads and excessive overtime, we rarely manage to find the time to skype or talk to each other. as a result, the distance that never used to be part of the problem started becoming one. At the same time, i was facing alot of pressure as 4th year university student and I started lashing out, i hurt her verbally many times, and it was always for the same reason : I cant stand her always going out with her friends to clubs or rave events without me. She has been going constantly every weekend since she started work, and every time she insists that it was because of her friends and that i can trust her . Also it didnt help that she is such an open person and has so many male colleagues at her work place which added to the jealousy. Slowly all this builds up, causing us to quarrel more. One day, which was supposed to be our 4th anniversary, i pressured her to to make the decision, whether to break up or not. She cracked and said yes, she wants to break up. At that time, i was so tired from all the jealousy and the fact that she forgot our anniversary it made me to stupidly think i cant do this anymore. the other factors was, she doesnt want to move to the country i am in now, and religious reasons. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [30 M] broke up with me [22 F] because of "stress" POST: Preface: We have been dating 4 months but it seems a lot longer because until about 2 weeks ago, we talk daily (often up to 2 hours), taken weekend trips, and made big life decisions together (job, relocation, etc.). We broke up yesterday over the phone. Over the weekend, I mentioned that there seems to be a distance between us over the past few weeks and asked about what he thinks of the relationship. He said he is willing to work on things and to find time for me. He did not seem to have any concerns whatsoever and was as affectionate and loving as can be. A lot of things have been going on in our lives in the past month. I started a new job (similar to my old one but in a different office environment), and he moved out of his family's house to live closer to me and to his workplace. His student loans have been piling up (~$50k) and because of the expenses of moving out and loan repayment, he had to take a second job that takes up around 15 hours a week. He is also working towards his accounting designation, which he hopes to get in two years, and start saving up to buy a place after paying back all his loans. I told him that I will wait while he works out the kinks in his career path because I'm still young and not ready myself. He told me that I'm the sweetest girl he has ever dated and he doesn't want to keep me hanging because I deserve someone who can devote more time to me. He also told me that he was afraid when I brought up casually meeting my parents. I replied saying that I don't want to put pressure on him if he doesn't feel comfortable. I'm rather inexperienced with serious relationships and breakups so this has been particularly traumatic for me as we did everything together over the last few months and I thought that I have finally found "the one". Any encouragement or advice would be much appreciated. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 F] with my BF [28 M] 5 years, Why won't he confide in me? POST: A little background into our relationship: He's honestly the sweetest, kindest man I've ever had the pleasure of being in a relationship with. He's very affectionate and easy to talk to, and he's helped me out of a lot of emotional turmoil that I have gone through in the past. I confide in him with my issues all the time and he always listens, hugs and kisses me, and makes me feel better. He's pretty much the best boyfriend I could ask for. But recently I noticed that he was troubled. He wasn't as happy as he normally is. This had been going on for a few weeks and he refused to admit that anything was wrong. He was doing a lot of late nights at work. When I told a few of my friends this, they were baffled, and one night when he called me to say that he was working late one of those friends (she works in the same building as him) saw him leave and followed him to a hotel. Thinking that he was cheating on me, she knocked on the room that he was in and he opened. He wasn't cheating. But in that room was my BF, two of his closest friends (both male, be only really has male friends), and an old man. My friend asked him what was going on and my BF told her that recently his cousin died and that for the last few weeks he had been mourning with his friends and consulting his psychologist (the old man). He asked my friend not to tell me, but she told me right after. Here's the thing, he never told me he had been seeing a psychologist, and he never told me that his cousin died. While in the hotel room, my friend asked him why he didn't tell me, but he just said that she would never understand, and that she didn't know what it was like to be in a relationship with me, and that she didn't know what it was like to be a man. My boyfriend doesn't know that I know, my friend didn't tell him that she told me, and so he keeps on pretending as if everything's fine. But why? Why doesn't he trust me? And what should I do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My friend [20 M] is overstaying his welcome and I (20 F) don't know how to tell him to leave. POST: Throwaway account just in case. Some background: I live in a house near my university with 6 other girls. The house is owned by our church and has an open door policy during the day so it is also a place where students come and hang out between classes. It's not uncommon to have people over during the day hanging out or studying. The problem is that we have one friend who never leaves. He doesn't live there, but he comes over at 7 in the morning (if not earlier) and sometimes will stay until 1 or 2 in the morning. He makes breakfast, lunch, and dinner at our house, even on Saturdays. He basically lives with us without paying rent. He is also extremely immature and annoying. He always wants to hang out or do something, and when we tell him no he takes it personally and gets offended. Whenever someone disagrees with something he says, he argues and won't let it go until you finally give up and tell him that he's right (even if he isn't). And he's extremely self-centered. To top it all off, he has had a huge, unrequited crush on my roommate for the past year and won't take the hint that she isn't interested. We're all at our wits end with him, but we don't know how to tell him to not come over as often. Because our house has an open door policy, we can't exactly tell him that he isn't allowed to come over because he hasn't done anything wrong. He's just annoying. We feel like we never get the chance to have some peace and quiet and recharge in our own home because he is constantly there wanting to be entertained. How do we tell him that he is more than welcome to hang out in between classes, but being around 80% of the day is too much without hurting his feelings? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I've [22F] been with my boyfriend [23m] for two years, but there is a psychological issue getting in between us. That issue is silence. POST: A pretty boring relationship issue, but it's getting in between us. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years-ish, we had some complications in the beginning but for the last year and a half I've had unwavering confidence in his love, commitment, and our happiness as a couple. No drama or secrets between us so far as I can tell, and barely any arguments. Sex life is fantastic. I wish to be with him indefinitely and things are, for the most part, really good between us. He's a highly introverted person, I can deal with that. Although it impedes on certain desires of mine it's not too big an issue. The issue lies in communication- he can't verbally communicate his feelings or his deeply emotional thoughts to me, something I desire from the person I am with. He has explained that his condition is frustrating to him and he's always been this way. No amount of coaxing or tactics I use to get his true thoughts out of his head, you know, the deep and important ones, works in terms of verbal communication. He can write them down. He has sent me messages and IM's detailing some of the things he cannot say. But I find face-to-face communication important. It is intensely frustrating to ask a question and sitting in silence for 10 minutes before he answers, "I don't know" or "I can't say". It's excruciating at times to both of us. Basically, I'm wondering if anyone out there has been like this, has been with someone like this, if there's any way to cope with it/change. I told him he should talk to a psychiatrist and have a big long letter prepared for the inevitability that he can't make words come out of his mouth. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] of 2.5 years, I want to know what he thinks of our breakup? POST: So I've been in a tumultuous relationship for the past 2.5 years that ended at the end of April. My ex is a huge narcissist, always believing he is above everyone else even though he does absolutely nothing with his life. I met him when I was 18, naive, and in a bad time in my life, so I ended up getting very very attached to him. I treated my ex like a king but was stupid enough to accept tiny amounts of effort he would put into our relationship, and i've also taken him back after cheating. we have broken up several times before, and whenever we break up, he always comes back about 2 months later, apologizing. I end up giving him another chance and we always end up breaking up again in the future. So this last time in April we broke up, and sure enough, after two months, I got a text from him saying "Hey", and this was the first time I chose to not respond to him. I wanted to move on and stop believing that he could change. He then called me the next day and I didn't answer. That was in June, and I have not heard from him since. I don't understand why I want to hear from him again.. I know I can't get back together with him (for my own sake), but I just really want him to apologize for all of the abuse and hurt he has caused me throughout our entire relationship. And a part of me wants him to realize that I was valuable and that he shouldn't have taken me for granted. I have seen his social media and he appears to be single, and there seems to be no change in his life (no job, no priorities). My question is: Do you think that because he hasn't put in any real effort into contacting me since July that he has moved on? Or do you believe that he is waiting for me to miss him and contact him? Is this really the end? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: M[17] have NO idea how to even approach F[14] POST: [Throwaway because people on here know me] So, here's the dealio. I JUST met a girl, like a week ago. She's barely on Facebook and says she barely uses her phone to talk to people. Okay, so I'll just talk to her in person, right? NO. Always with friends, and that's my weakness. Talking to someone alone, fine, maybe a little stuttery/nervous, but fine. Sometimes I see her in the hall at school and wish I could approach her, but my brain says no, don't, you'll creep her out. Problem is, even if I tried to talk to her, I'm afraid I'd get crazy tongue-tied. My biggest fear is that if I try to talk to her in person I'll make her uncomfortable, or creep her out somehow, since I have 0 social skills with cute strangers. I can talk with male strangers just fine, and I can talk with my hot friends just fine, but when you put those two together, I am WAYY too nervous to do anything. What can I do, either at school or after, to talk to her without creeping her out? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Can anyone offer legal advice for the sake of my abused grandmother? POST: To elaborate: My cousin is 42 years old, and takes after her mother quite well. She has NEVER held down a stable job for more than 3 months, and makes a living off of stealing and cheating. She has a barn, 4000 sq. ft. full of junk that she "borrows" (steals), to re-process and re-sell for a living. My cousin has a terrible reputation in town. She is a lying, cheating, priceless piece of trash. She was permanently banned from the all-girls college here for trying to convince some dorm students that they were gay. Now, however, my family all warned me to stay away from her, but I didn't. I gave her a chance to redeem herself in my eyes, and she failed miserably. When my, at the time, 89 year old grandmother took my cousin under her as an intern...things went bad, fast. My Cousin now has majority control over the business, a tax company that has never received an audit in 71 years, and has DESTROYED my family's reputation. This is my Grandma's last year in charge, but that didn't stop her from stealing $500 in tax return fees from my grandma...in front of police. My cousin also decided to yell at my grandma, on many, many occasions explaining (in front of police) how my grandma was a " fucking fuckface" and a "whore" and she has "fucked over hundreds of people in her fucking life" (with a tax company that has never received an audit or complaint). Now, no one in my family wants to deal with her. My mom tells me its my grandma's business. Grandma tells me she wants permission to press charges from my cousin's mother. While my aunt, my cousins mother, has begun to pretend that she doesn't even exist. I'm at a loss now, Reddit. Now my cousin has threatened to claim that my grandmother is Senile (when she obviously is not) and take control of her entire estate. I want to put this piece of trash behind bars, for as long as I can. I don't know where to start, what to do, how to process this, or anything. Can anyone help me?? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: 2 year relationship, (was) on the cusp of a proposal..how do you know when it's over? POST: We started out dating for 9 months, 2 months in he said I love you. 4-5 months in he was saying how he wants to make babies with me/see a future with me (he had one gf before me and apparently wanted the same with her at the time-according to him). Then he takes off for a year abroad and we do long distance (not open). No history of cheating as far as I know. The guy moves to be closer to me (we were 8 hrs apart) and now he's 40 min away. He gets a decent job, "pre proposes" to me with a paper ring and then goes on his merry way. He later tells me how he does things to make me happy (including the ring?). He makes a decent income, but doesn't want to move in with me (of course I'd pay for half the rent and whatever else). Is it odd not to want to live with someone after 2 years and saying 'I'll marry you someday?" He's already asked how long I want to be engaged for, and such (not getting married till I'm done with professional school). But he also calls me childish, says that I make him wonder sometimes. He comes to visit me but hates staying the night and when I bring up the idea of finding a place together he says that he needs time to himself. Guys: I am not looking to spend 100% of my time with this guy. I just want to come home to someone. Because life is short, and when you love someone why not? But he's so hesitant and dragging his feet I wonder what's going on. Do I cut my losses and just move on? He's happy living with roommates (who aren't really his friends) and refuses to live with me. I'm thinking that a couple more years of this living apart and he tells me that we're not right for each other or some shit (which he said would be ok because the time together would still be an "experience"). TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [Dating] I'm a [19,M] college freshman and I don't understand why no one seems to stick around POST: I am a 19 year old freshman in college. There is something that I haven't yet experienced that I have always wanted too. A relationship. Now, for a while, I knew why. I couldn't even speak to girls. I lacked the confidence and the self esteem required to actually impress someone, I needed to work on myself first. The thing is, now I have. I am an interesting person, I have never met anyone who likes just the same things that I do, and I pride myself in that. Being in college, I like to party, and almost every time I go out I end up talking to some really cute sorority girl for hours, we seem to click really well and we usually end up kissing or... stuff. Almost every week, same thing, different girl. However, non ever seem to want to stick around. We may hang out a couple days later with the intention of starting something, but it never seems to pan out. Now, I don't understand why. I have that confidence that I was missing, and, as shown by my weekend escapades, girls find me attractive. But they never want to stick around. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm asking. I just want to be in a relationship, but it never works out, and the only common denominator is me. What do I do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Question about child support in NC POST: First of all Sorry for the long read, and also if this is not the right place to post this... My Best friend, we will call him 'J' and his girlfriend have a child together who will be 2 in January. They are breaking up and his Girlfriend, we will call 'S' is trying to use the baby against him every way she can. J is not on the birth certificate but he is 100% the father and has been taking care of her and the baby since she first got pregnant. Facts about J: -His mother lives when them, she has 20 years and 2 masters degrees in childhood education -J is NOT on the birth certificate of the baby because S WAS married and going through a divorce when the baby was born and NC law would have required her former husband to be named the father if one was named. -J works 50+ hours a week -J spends most of his free time taking care of his son -J spends 1 night a week with his co-workers at a dinner party or card game, no strip clubs or anything of that nature. Facts about S -Discharged from the military for trying to kill herself -Works only 25 hours a week -does not allow the grandmother(20yrs in child education) to watch their son unless S "allows" it The issue now is the S is trying to use the baby every way she can against J. She is only going to allow him every other weekend with the baby and demanding max child support since she works so few hours and all her income goes to her car payment and insurance. She also is saying she will not allow the baby to be left with the grandmother and instead wants J to pay for daycare while she works, including days when J is off of work. The question here is does my friend have a leg to stand on? Not being on the birth certificate is an issue I am assuming, but I do not know what for. can she sue him for child support if he is not on it? if he is not on it can he sue her for custody? He is going to meet with a lawyer next week, who wants a $175 consultation fee, to see what his options are. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: A bus driver volunteered as my personal taxi driver. What's your BEST customer service experience ever? POST: After reading about the terrible customer service people have received on another thread, thought it might be nice to talk about the best customer service you've had. A few weeks ago, my flight was delayed by about 2.5 hours. Instead of arriving at 10:00pm it arrived at 12:30am. The last bus left the airport at 12:50am. The gate agent had been nice enough to give me a free upgrade to stretch seating to give me the best chance of catching the bus when I arrived. I managed to catch the bus, running all the way from the gate. As we headed into town, I realized it wasn't going on the route I needed to get to my car, which was another 10 miles/16 km away from the last stop. I had been talking with the bus driver a bit working on a strategy to get to my car and it looked like only a taxi would work since almost every city bus service had stopped by that time. He asked me where I was heading, then said he lived in the same town, then offered to take me there on his way home after he dropped off the bus at the garage. 30 minutes later, I was standing in front of my car thanks to GGG bus driver, saving me a $50-$70 taxi ride. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I tell my gf's[21] parents that I[27] already have a kid? POST: My gf of over a year and a half just had a baby a month ago. Her parents are really religious and we never told them that I was married before and have another child from my ex-wife. Back story there: High school sweethearts, I join the military, we do the long distance thing for 4 years (after 2 years of dating in high school) then I get out of the military and we get married 6 months later. After living with her I continually got more and more unhappy as she wasn't the person I remembered from high school and I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life so unhappy. We've been living together for over a year and we never told her parents early. Then as time went on there was never a good time to tell them. Now it's this weird thing where there never seems like a good time to tell them but the longer it goes on the more we wish we've already let them know. Any ideas? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Should I (22F) cancel my long postponed trip to see my friend (21F) before she graduates? POST: So this is the situation I'm in, I'm hoping I can get some advice. My friend is graduating college in a week. We were very close while we were both in school and went to my graduation. I visited last October and kept promising I'd visit this semester but have yet to make the trip. I was planning on going this weekend as she's done with finals and I cannot make her graduation due to housing expenses (can't get a hotel room at this point and her family will be staying at her apartment, I wouldn't want to impose myself). I'm supposed to travel up this afternoon, but I'm thinking of canceling. A few days ago I got a bump near my lady bits, which ended up being a Bartholin Cyst. I've been treating it with hot baths and such but this morning I woke up and it's much worse, it's the size of a golf ball, it's swollen, tender, and hurts like a bitch. I'm taking painkillers but it's still hard to walk, sit, and do everyday movements. I'm afraid that if I do go see her I won't be able to do much with her, as even the simplest tasks are painful. And I'm scared it will get worse while I'm away. But I also don't want her to feel like I'm flaking on her again. I feel like some people may see this as an easy choice but she's moving farther away from me after graduation and I don't know when I'll be able to see her again. What can I do? Any advice is appreciated TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [24M] can't figure out why my GF of 4.5 years [24F]'s parents are uncomfortable with our apartment roommate. POST: Ok, so my girlfriend and I live together with one other roommate. He's a great guy that loves to cook and is really outgoing. He makes giant breakfasts, lunches, dinners, desserts. And his favorite way to spend the weekend is having us sit back and test out his new dishes (stuff like a new cake or pie recipe). Anyway, I'll admit that the 2 of us have put on a bit of weight as a result (about 40 lbs each over the past year and a half), so our clothing styles have changed a bit. I basically just went from jeans to sweats, she went from jeans to yoga pants, and we both spend most of our time in slippers. But, both of our parents came to visit last week and it felt like you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. At the end of their stay, my GF's parents asked if we were planning on ever getting a place for just the 2 of us, and they brought up that our roommate "rubs them the wrong way". And so, I don't really know what to think. Thoughts? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [F23,M24] Can this work, or am I crazy? POST: We've been together for maybe a year and a half, I'm F23, dating M24. The relationship is great, I like him a lot, he's really supportive, the sex is awesome, we have a lot of common interests and have a lot of fun. However, my practical side says it's not going to last forever, due to: - He wants kids. I don't. This isn't going to change, and I'm not willing to compromise. - His family has all stayed within one small area of a specific city, and long term he wants to stay there. I have no ties to this city/country/hemisphere, and want to live abroad and not return. - my family is abroad - career opportunities here for me are abysmal, while they're excellent overseas - I don't much like the culture here - Alcohol. His idea of a night out with friends is getting reasonably drunk. He's not pleasant to be around while drunk, and (dad was an alcoholic) I don't want to deal with it. He never drinks when I'm around, which is fine when we're dating, but wouldn't work so well if we lived together. I've received a great job offer for roughly 5 months from now, a few months after I graduate college, in a city a couple of days drive away. I want to take this offer. Given the above, I don't think a LDR is a good idea. We have talked about our different views on the above topics, though not how (if at all) we'd reconcile them. He knows I have this job offer (and others.) Is it crazy to want to stay in the relationship until I move? Is it crazy to think we could stay friends at the end? Any advice for enjoying the time we do have, and ending things well? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 M] Virgin coming out of almost 14 years of depression, I need to rebuild my life POST: I'm looking for a place to vent, so here it goes. After 14 years of depression, I'm recovering. I have no job, no close friends, and live with my parents. In my early teens my parents, entrepreneurs, had a falling out with their business partner. It led to my dad working incredibly long hours, effectively taking him out of my life. The few friends I had I let drift away. Through highschool, I didn't exist. Not in the way someone is ignored, but in the way someone just drifts through. I didn't take in the experiences I had. I didn't talk to or hang out with anyone unless I needed to. Now I feel like I lost something. I went to college for a short time then dropped out. The last few years I spent sitting at home, occasionally working odd jobs my parents found for me. So, a couple of months ago, I found the motivation to get better. It was a stupid crush on a celebrity I saw on the talk show circuit. It was enough for me to want to make my life better. I've been sorting through my old things. Some things brought back memories. Later today I'm going to try to get in touch with people I haven't spoken to in years. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Got blown off by a girl, but then ran into her later and she claimed otherwise. Next step? POST: I should preface this by saying that my college starts late, so I'm at home and not back at school yet. I interned this summer with this cute and nice girl (who likes and understands sports!) from my school. I spent a couple weeks working up enough courage to ask if she wanted to do something. On the last day, I finally asked and we agreed to meet up that weekend to try out this mom and pop restaurant since she hadn't been there before, but we didn't set a definite date/time and I wasn't able to get her number because our individual exit interviews got in the way. I ended up sending her a message on FB, but didn't get a reply over the weekend, so I figured she'd just blown me off. I was kind of bummed, but I guess it was better than getting stood up, so whatever, right? Anyway, the next Monday I was out for a jog and ran into her going the opposite direction. I gave her a quick wave and said 'hey' as I was passing her since I figured she'd feel kinda awkward about the whole thing so I thought she'd just throw some real quick greeting back at me and that'd be that, but instead she said 'hi' but kept on talking so I stopped running and turned around. She went on to apologize, she didn't mean to ignore me but was really busy preparing for preseason for her sport, and would like to try out that restaurant sometime. By this point, we're awkwardly standing 10 feet apart, and I'm caught by surprise in the middle of my run, so I mumbled something like "uhh some other time then?" and she agreed (again) and then we said our byes and I took off. So RA, what do you think I should do? I'm kinda wary of getting blown off twice (and unsure if she's just being nice to me about everything...), but on the other hand, on the advice of a friend, it's not like I've got anything to lose by hitting her up again once i get back go to school right? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: NSV: My director said I should be the poster child for my organization, we deal in health information. POST: My director has been chatting recently about my weight loss / muscle gain, but yesterday he said that I should be the poster child for my organization (we deal in health information).... what a awesome weighted comment! Bit of background... I was 295lbs, 5'10", M, with little visible muscle a little over two years ago. After my son was born, I decided to turn things around. 215lbs today lots of visible muscle (legs especially). Counting calories with MFP, eating clean, at the gym 3 days a week for one hour doing a push, pull, hamstring, glutes and core workout ( all compound movements). A few light walks with the dog on off days. I still get a ho-hum response when I reveal my secret to be "diet and exercise" but its the truth! Its unbelievable how much r/loseit and r/fitness have helped (and continue to help, my journey isn't over yet!)... seriously, general practitioners should be prescribing 2 hours of redditing on these subs per day for overweight patients, lbs are bound to come off! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by trying to zip my boyfriend's penis. POST: I will preface this by saying that I currently live with other people. And we were in the living room. Today my boyfriend came over to hang out and watch TV. Nothing out of the ordinary until things start to get heated. Eventually I decide that I want to give a blowjob. The best way to do it was to unzip and pull it out. I begin to get to work when suddenly I hear a key in the door. Shit. Someone is home and about to walk in on said blowjob. I did the logical thing and try to put it away. I think its in and rush to zip his pants. It stopped. All I heard was "You bitch!" as he cupped himself and tried to zip up properly. Didn't get caught. At least there wasn't blood... just the tip. I later made up for it with a proper blowup. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do you officiate a mutual break up? POST: Some friends of mine (29 year old female and 31 year old male) have been dating for a couple years and have come to the realization that while they like each other well enough, they are not what each other are looking for in a mate. In light of this, they are throwing a "break up party" where they have asked me to officiate over their break up. I'm looking for ideas on what to include in my ceremony. So far we have them reading their vows to conduct themselves in a friendly manner and make the coming months as un-awkward as possible, followed by my pronouncing them officially single and them cutting a ceremonial heart shaped cake in two and eating the two halves separately. I am thinking some form of official garb is warranted, but I'm not sure I want to go with a priest outfit... Also, if anyone has any suggestions on an opening speech (Things akin to the "dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." of a wedding ceremony), they would be appreciated. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs TITLE: Possible Cubital Tunnel Syndrome, but confusing symptoms POST: I helped my girlfriend move in a couple weeks ago and after that, I would get occasional jolts of a tingling sensation when moving my arm. The sensation would go from the elbow up to the outer side of my pinky. But up until yesterday, it was so barely noticeable that I thought i might even be imagining it. But yesterday, I started noticing a strange sensation that would move around all over my hand when my elbow is bent for am extended time (using a calculator, texting etc.) so I did some research. CTS supposedly only affects the pinky and half of the ring finger, but sometimes the sensation is in my thumb and index, and earlier the tip of my index almost went numb. Also, CTS is supposed to cause elbow pain, but I'm not experiencing pain anywhere at all. Just a scary tingling that can't seem to pick a spot. Also, I'd like to avoid the doctor at all costs, so if no one can solve the mystery, I have one question: is there a safe time period that I can "wait it out" to see if it resolves itself, or am I at high risk of nerve damage soon? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge TITLE: So there was a douche on the road.... POST: Ok to give you a background I really love cars... I collect them and some times modify my own cars. So yeah im a gear head and usually engage in friendly track competitions and the like. I really reserve speeding for the track and since I track often I rarely crave speeding especially on public roads. One time I was travelling on the road and I see a few hunded meters ahead of me a guy just speeding cutting people off and being a danger to everyone. I guess after some time he sees me on his rear view mirror, my car had day time running lights on and I guess from my car's stance he figures i was driving a sports car/modified car. He slows down and waits for me. I slowly pass by him and after some time he decides to step on it hard. He then cuts me, taunting me to "race" him. I ignore him and then he lets off the gas and goes right behind me and starts tailgating. He keeps flashing his lights trying to lure me into racing. You see, I am really familiar with the road and I know theres a huge pot hole some distance ahead. So i thought about it and decided to teach this young punk a lesson. I shifted down and accelerated making sure that the douche was close behind as I was headed towards the pot hole. On the last second I switched lanes, causing the guy's wheel to go in the pothole... BAM! He stopped as I looked on my rear view mirror. I made a U-turn to check what happened and saw that his wheel was completely shattered and that his front bumper fell off. I approached his car putdown my window and told him (in our local language) "Thats what you get for being a douche on the road!" then I sped off. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Found out that I've been getting ripped off by someone I thought was a friend, what can I do? POST: So here's the story: After 1st year living in residence, I decided to live with a guy, a classmate of his, and the roommate of the classmate. He and his classmate found the house and asked if I was still interested, I said yes. The plan was that due to the zoning bylaws in the area, there could only be a maximum of 3 unrelated people on the 2-year lease at any time, so I never actually signed the lease, though I was still considered a "permanent" member of the house. 2nd year I moved into the house, and I was told by the original guy that rent was $400/month+utilities since the total rent for the house was $1600/month. He also said that I was to pay him, since he'd already given our landlord postdated cheques. I was fine with paying that, since it's pretty cheap considering what I got for it, and I have been paying that for the last few semesters that I've lived here (now on my 3rd, though I was paying the balance when someone else was subletting my room for less). Due to a massive fuckup on my part, I'm now a year behind the original housemates, and "off stream" from them, so I will never be in school at the same time as them again (My university alternates between 4 months at school and then 4 months on co-op). Last night I was talking to one of the original housemates who is on a co-op term but still trying to find a job in the area so he can live here. He accidentally let slip something about "375" and when I pressed the issue, he told me that rent was only meant to be $375/month+ utilities, as the house rent was only $1500/month. My question now is: what should I do to get back at the person who has been ripping me off /how should I approach this issue? (They don't know that I now posses the information that they have been ripping me off) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 M] Getting possible mixed signals from my Girlfriends [20 F] sister [19 F] POST: Well my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now, and her sister that's my age has always been friendly with me. Some people may see this as just friendly chit chat and stuff, but I feel like she is trying to get close to me but not in a friendly way. I should say this now that my girlfriends sister hasn't had a boyfriend before, so I'm thinking that it could be that she's jealous that her sister got a boyfriend and she's still single. But maybe I'm just thinking too much about this. I'm not looking to cheat on my girlfriend. I have no intentions on hooking up with her sister. If I need to talk to her sister about this, how could I approach this without hurting her too much or harming our friendship or my current relationship? Thank you, and feel free to discuss as much as you want. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [21/M] girlfriend [22/F] refuses to smoke weed with me. POST: Now I know the title sounds like a fuckboy first world problem but hear me out. So me and my gf have been going out for a year now and we love each other very much. We drink together all the time but when I brought up smoking weed together she immediately turned it down. Now we both smoke weed, we aren't stoners or anything but occasionally I'll smoke with my friends and she smokes with her friends. I asked her why she wouldn't smoke with me and she kept saying how it would be weird and awkward. I bring up how we drink together without a problem but she insists that this is much different. She said that I have things that I only do with my friends and that she has things she only does with her friends and smoking is one of the things that she does with her friends. Now I would understand this if I didn't smoke, but I do! And who wouldn't want to smoke with their best friend, right? Eventually I kind of got it out of her and she basically told me that she is different when she is high and it's a side of her that she doesn't want me to see. I can see where she's coming from but I worry mainly because we've been in a relationship for this long and there is still part of her that she isn't comfortable with me seeing. The thing is she's always sending me snapchats of her high and it just looks like anybody else when they're high, laughing a lot and eating pizza while watching stupid shows. So she isn't completely shutting me out when it comes to that. It's not like I'm begging to see her high so I know what she's like but I'm just concerned in a way that we have made it to this stage in the relationship and there are still some things that she doesn't want me to see or know. Like I said in the first paragraph she isn't like a stoner or anything so it doesn't happen often enough that it's causing a serious problem in our relationship but it does happen enough to the point that it can't simply be ignored. Just wondering how I should go about this whole thing. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Issues with another guy... POST: So my girlfriend (15) and I (16) have been dating for about a little under a month now. Her ex-boyfriend took the relationship too far when they were dating and cheated on her, then broke up with her, then asked if they could be fwb's (not actually having sex, just have a relationship where all they do is hang out and kiss pretty much). Well she said yes, and I tried to warn her where this was going and she didn't believe me, well, not so surprisingly, again, he took it too far. Then I asked her out (which honestly was partially to protect her from this other guy) and she said yes and we've been dating for a couple weeks now. The issue is, I live five hours away from her, and the other guy lives five minutes away from her. After I left town, this guy texted my girlfriend asking if they could go back to being friends with benefits, while we were still dating. This guy has been a complete douche to her as long as they dated and afterwards and yet she still views him as her best friend. I trust my girlfriend enough to believe that she's not going to cheat on me, but I'm not sure what the other guy is going to try with her. They've also brought up the possibility of going to dances together, but I've told her that I'm not comfortable with the idea. She can go with any other guy but not him, so my questions are 1. Am I being over controlling, worrying too much and things like that? and 2. any advice on what I could do to handle the situation with this other guy? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [29M] 4 years, used to be steamy, now it's just awkward? POST: We've been dating for 4 years and living together for 1. Prior to living together, we would have a lot of steamy texting (and phone) conversations. We'd share pictures, fantasies, role-play, the works. It was great, electric, fun, and natural. Since moving in together, our sex life (expectedly) went through some changes. We worked through stress, fights, and infidelity (when stressed by me, he turns to sexual conversations with women online). After many months, we've finally returned to a place of happiness, trust, and the relationship genuinely feels better. With one caveat: every time I try to turn the conversation in a steamy direction, he immediately shuts it down. When we have sex, it's great, we both enjoy ourselves and there are no arousal issues. But for whatever reason, if I want to have some teasing conversations or talk about fantasies during the day, it just won't happen. I've tried bringing it up with him, but talking about bedroom "problems" with him always makes it 10x worse. He is completely turned off by it, he sees my coming-on attempts as forced, and it just doesn't work. The only thing that's worked so far is me being bold, confident, and going for what I want, without sharing any insecurities I have. His new refusal to have sexual conversations with me is chipping away at my self-esteem and is, honestly, hurting our sex life (for me). I don't know how to fix it. I know he's not uncomfortable talking this way, he's done it with me for years, and with other women during the infidelities. What's wrong? Any advice would be very much appreciated. I have no one to talk to about this. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by injuring a teammate at basketball practice POST: I'm a very competitive guy on the court by nature, even at practice I always to play the hardest, either on offense or on defense. At the defensive end, I'll never give up an easy basket. My fellow teammates usually love this aspect of my game. But a few days ago, my habits backfired in the worst possible way. So it's a routine 5 vs 5 game at the end of the practice session. My team (let's call it team A) has the ball on offense but one of my teammates throws a sloppy pass that's intercepted by a player from team B. This player is basically running by himself towards our team's hoop, with an easy basket opportunity. Not so fast... In order to try to get some momentum for my team and possibly hype them up, I go for the [chasedown block]( That's where I fucked up. By trying to block the guy's shot, coming at full speed from behind, I make contact with him while he's in the air. He falls awkwardly and suddenly screams in pain holding his right knee. He hardly gets up and has to limp his way to the locker room. After undergoing an MRI, he was diagnosed with a torn knee ligament (ACL) and is out for the season. He also needs reconstructive surgery and a minimum of 6 months of rehab. Needless to say I'm too embarrassed to ever come to practice again. If I just had let the guy score, none of this would have happened... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (19F) think I caught my dad (45m) cheating on my stepmother (50f). Not sure what to do next. POST: Alright reddit, it's been about a week since this happened, and I'm still feeling queasy about the whole thing. My dad and I work at the same company, and we happen to be working abroad right now. We share an apartment. He's been with my stepmother for nearly 13 years. They are doing long distance, she will be here for a visit next week. A few nights ago, he came home very very late... with an obvious hickey on his neck. I was floored. I had no idea what to do. So I didn't do anything. I love my stepmom. I don't want to fuck up their relationship. The other part of this is that he supports her financially (entirely). Also, my father and I have had a rocky relationship in the past and are only just starting to be close again. I know this is a selfish thing to be thinking about, but I don't want our relationship to go sour either. What should I do? I'm so uncomfortable. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice TITLE: Destroyed GPA. Any hope for grad school? POST: I tanked my college gpa over the last two semesters...I am sitting at a 1.7 and I'm almost a junior. I've been on my own with this whole college experience, since I have no family. I once had grand plans to get into a masters program for clinical psychology, but now I'm not even sure if I could get into ANY program, even if I pulled A's until I graduate. Now I'm afraid that I might have a useless major in something I can't even get into grad school with. Can anybody point me in the right direction? Should I change my major? Or finish what I started? Is graduate school even an option for me? I usually facepalm when people ask questions like this on reddit. But honestly I really would like the opinions of people that may have been in my shoes. Thanks guys! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: 20F with 20M fwb drug user. In too deep? Can't resist him, AMA POST: Basically I've recently started a fwb kinda relationship. Although when we agreed to it when we were both drunk and had only just met each other the night before. That doesn't bother me- I've never had such sexual chemistry with anybody before this. But the thing is, I'm only JUST coming out of a long term relationship. I haven't been single since I was 16. The last thing I want is something complicated. This guy seems to suit because he really isn't the relationship type. Or so I thought. I really like the idea of actually being friends too, not just fuck buddies. But his friends have told me that they've never seen him like this with another girl. I already know serious things about him that he hasn't told them. Sometimes there's little things that are almost too sweet for fwb. And that's making me really confused. I can't resist texting him, can't stop thinking about it all, etc. I'm not ready for another relationship, not for a long long time. But I'm wondering is that where this is headed? From the outside we probably look like a couple, holding hands and cuddling in public and all that. He also uses a crazy amount of drink and drugs, he's a real party animal. I'm kinda afraid that could lead to a lot of stress- watching him mix loads of straight vodka with loads of ecstasy for example, wondering if he'll be okay. The fact that I know I'll be unhappy if I don't get to keep seeing him makes me think I'm getting too into this, but I half wonder if he's the same. Or maybe that's wishful thinking... I can't even tell. Basically I'm just wondering should I keep going with the whole fwb thing, or will it just lead to heartbreak in the longterm. In the space of about 2 months the term "open relationship" has started being used too, so I'm wondering too is there a real difference between fwb and open relationships? If so, what is it? Sorry if that's badly written, my brain is totally frazzled! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: What can I[26/f] say to my SO[26/m] regarding his spending habits? POST: Hi all, I just want to ask if I'm thinking too much about how me and my SO spend our money (We've been together for 2years). We both agreed that we will combine our money specially we need to budget for both of us. He's an only child and he's the one paying all most all the bills in their house. (electricity, groceries, telephone, cable, etc..) Since in their home. It's only him, his mother and their adopted little brother. So I decided that I'll help him by budgeting. Almost all his salary goes to his bills, while mine, I also give my parents but I'm not that financially broken. So, I support him also financially. Everything is smooth and we always make it every payday. We're also looking for jobs gradually that can make our salary higher. So the problem is, when we're almost down to zero, he still insist on spending money on coffee, eating at expensive restaurants where in their canteen he only needs a dollar for lunch. While here I am a dollar or two is almost as good for me for 2-3days. I don't know to approach him regarding this problem. I'll just ask him how much money do you have left? And then when he answers back it's almost 5-7times the money I have spent for the day. Those are the times that suddenly I'll go thinking that, you don't want me to buy a pair of shoes till payday and look at my shoes, it's already broken and here you are just buying coffee for leisure because you want to be 'in' with your friends/coworkers. Maybe I was just jealous because I'm the one who can't spend that much so I can adjust to his spending habits but how can I tell him all of this? How can I approach him? I don't want him saying, you got a problem with that? Cause every time I tell him anything regarding financially, he'll notice that I am really quiet about it and he knows that I'm upset but doesn't give notice. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: [CA] New Restaurant Job Does Not Take Tip Taxes from Paycheck POST: Hello, I just started this new restaurant job around a month ago and my paychecks have been the full amount despite the tips I make. In my previous experiences in my other restaurant jobs, we have to claim how much we make in our tips so it can be properly taxed. This usually comes out of our biweekly paychecks. So our paychecks would be around $200-$300 smaller depending on how much tip we make. However at this new job, I started working the day after my interview without signing any paperwork, which is a little odd. My first paycheck was the full amount even though I have made tips in the second pay week after I was done training so I thought it was normal. However, my next paycheck was also the full amount but I have been serving and making tip money the whole pay period. I do write down 100% of what I've made on our little check out sheet and supposedly the manager puts it into the system. I am still relatively new so I am not sure if this is a continuing thing. I just do not want to get in any legal trouble outside of the restaurant. The other is that when we clock in and clock out, it just shows how many hours we have worked that day but we do not have a tangible print out of the hours we work. I have heard that if any of the servers work more than 8 hours, they will move the hours to a day where we have not worked so we do not get overtime. I don't know how true this because my paychecks do not have any hours I worked. It is just a money paycheck with no other statements with it. I have talked to my other coworkers about this getting mixed answers. Some say to leave it and they'll figure it out and just keep the money for myself. Another told me to put some money aside just in case I have to pay the restaurant back. One told me that I was working at the restaurant as a contracted payer and not actually on the restaurant payroll. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Single or boyfriend? POST: I am currently in a relationship of 11 months and I don't feel special that often, especially when we are apart. I just simply want some tiny sweet things done or said during the day. We are both only 19 and we are still learning but I feel like I'm not in a relationship when we separated in person. We don't text a lot either when we are apart and there is never good morning or good nights. Super long text messages gets ignored so sometimes we don't talk for a day or two and when we do the conversation ends quickly. This is his first relationship but I feel like I want to move on to someone who can provide this for me. We are fine when we are together in person Do you think it is a bit much? I'm slowly starting to like other guy because of the attention. Coincidentally he is also a friend of my ex and he talked to my boyfriend about how he should text me more often and his response was "oh I usually only talk to people if they're in front of me." I feel like I value meeting new guys than staying in this current relationship. I know its kinda clear that this relationship isn't gonna last long unless something changes. What can I do to inform my boyfriend on being sweet or how should I break it off if there isn't anything that can be done? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [16/m] trying to break a very thick layer of ice with a girl [16/f] POST: Sorry for the wall of text. So I'm generally a very quiet and shy person, especially when it comes to the opposite gender. For about 6 months now, I've known (not extremely well) this girl. It started about halfway through last year when during one of my classes I needed somewhere to sit. Because I didn't know where to sit, I just chose the last empty chair, which happened to be next to said girl and her friend. For the majority of the rest of that year I never engaged in a conversation with her save when we were doing a group project that really required to, and even then I couldn't bring myself to say anything other than what was necessary. After that school was over and I stayed home for most of the summer. At one point during the summer I went somewhere public where out of coincidence I saw her in the waiting room. She stood next to me (presumably because I was the only person she recognized) and didn't say anything. That would've been the perfect moment for me to be like "oh hey you go here too?" or just any sort of conversation, but as i tend to do when I see people in public I became nervous and just opted to not say anything. Now at the beginning of this school year I have her in another one of my classes and because our last name's start with the same letter we were seated right next to each other. And for the past 2 weeks I haven't said a word to her. So my problem is how would I begin to talk to her and have it not be weird considering I'd finally be trying to engage gee in conversation after a long period of near silence. Is it even worth it at this point? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I [25F] tell my Grandmother [65/F] that I got married and she wasn't invited to the wedding? POST: So I recently got married but opted not to invite my Grandparents on my fathers side. I've never met my father as he as young and didn't want to be involved, which is fine. Though she opted to stay apart of my life. I've always been the 'dirty secret' on that side. One time when I was 13 I had to be locked in a room for an entire day because my Grandmothers sister dropped around unexpectedly and they don't know I exist. Anyway, my grandfather has been sick for the last 6 years and at one point it was bad. So I asked her if things took a turn for the worst, would I be invited to the funeral as my biological father would be there and wants nothing to do with (he's even found me on facebook and blocked me) She said that I wouldn't be invited for that reason and that I'm 'bad for their image', but they are both 'still so proud of me'. She's not a nice person. So, basically this is why I haven't invited her. I could say she's 'bad for my image' too. Plus, my Mother-in-law is one of 13 children, so that's a lot of my Husband's family we had to invite! I still email and speak to her every couple of months. She knew we were engaged, but I didn't disclose to her when the wedding was. I feel like I should tell her sooner rather than later. Don't know what or how to word it. Any suggestions on how to approach this situation would be appreciated. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by snail mailing out naked pictures at work POST: The actual mailing took place a few weeks back. However, I just found out about it today. So I work for a company with older clients some of whom don't have email and part of my job is to respond to client questions. A client called in asking me about the history of the caduceus. Not exactly on topic for our company but it was quicker and easier to tell him I would send him info than bother with explaining that is not my job. So, I googled and printed a few pages on the caduceus. Not caring about the details I didn't read them and just grabbed the pages from the copy room printer, tossed them in an envelope and mailed them. Today I got a letter from this client calling me 'a sporting woman' and letting me know that I can mail him pictures of naked woman whenever I please. What? What? What did I mail him? I have no clue. None! Hoping I don't lose my job and no one else finds out. I went back and looked at what links I think I printed. I cannot find what I could have sent to make him send this. Only thing I can think of is some doofus in my office might have printed naked pictures at work and I grabbed them. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by finding a deactivated elevator pass at school POST: This happened about two weeks ago to me at my high school. I got called out of my class by the dean of students (the guy who gives detentions and such) and was instructed to wait to be called into the his office. I had no clue why I was called up, but I was ready to talk my way out of whatever it was (arrogance=through the roof). Upon entry, the dean told me that there was a report from the people who regulate all of the electronic locks at my school saying that there was some suspicious activity going on at school, as a safety measure. Flashback to two days before: I found the pass and put it up the box that activates the elevators (for students with a medical condition prohibiting them from the use of the stairs, and fat teachers) and has the same use (if activated) to open doors to get into my school, and the box beeped. The elevator didn't open, because the pass had been deactivated. Back to the office: The dean of student told me that what I had done was under investigation, and they had seen me beep the elevator box. I was given a detention for "attempted breach of security". TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by thinking my ipod was broken for 2 years (but actually I'm just stupid). POST: This was a few years ago. I bought my first ipod touch, and was anxious to connect it to the internet so I could use apps from the app-store. But for the life of me, I couldn't get the darn thing to connect to the home Wi-Fi. It would detect the network, but after entering the password it came up with an error message and failed to connect. I reset the ipod, restored factory settings, updated it etc. I tried everything that google said I should do. Finally I gave up and resigned myself to the fact that I won't be browsing facebook wirelessly in bed. About 2 years later I thought I'd give it another shot, being older and wiser surely I can get it to work. But again I failed. Then my sister's boyfriend comes around while I'm ranting to my family about how the stupid thing won't accept the password, and he casually says "maybe it's case-sensitive". Typed the password in all caps and connected first try. Desperately wished I could have the last 2 years of life back. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [23 M] was using my boyfriends [21 M] computer yesterday and found some questionable stuff. POST: Hey. I was using my BF of two years' computer recently for uni work (after he said I could) and went to login to my Gmail account but there was one already logged in. It looks like he made a secondary account or something? Anyway the inbox popped up automatically and I saw some account creation emails from Chaturbate and some other cam website? Should I be concerned? If he was just viewing (which I'm okay with), he wouldn't have signed up, right? If he's made an account does that mean he's showing himself :/? I'm not sure how to bring it up with him, I have a feeling he'll get mad at me for violating his privacy. Any tips? Should I let him do his thing and not mention it? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [22/f] My boyfriend [30/m] of 8 months just told me he is secretly bi, not sure how to feel about it. POST: Hello all! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months, our relationship has been great and our sex life even better. I've never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life, we have a judgement-free zone when it comes to sex and so far everything we've tried has been great. A few days ago he asked me what I thought about bisexuality and sharing, I told him that I didn't really have any attraction towards other girls and asked him what he had in mind. He asked me if I would ever consider a threesome with two guys and I told him that yes that had always been a fantasy of mine. He then explained that he would also like to participate in sexual acts with the other male and confessed that he is secretly bisexual. I was a bit taken back at first, he got nervous and asked me how I felt about his sexuality. I love my boyfriend and I explained to him that I loved him no matter what and that I was happy that he shared that with me. Although I do appreciate his honesty, I'm not sure if I would want to see him perform sexual acts on another guy. When I envisioned a threesome with two guys I always thought I would be the center of attention. Also, I can't have sex with a stranger and would probably like to spend time with the other guy before hand, I wouldn't want him to feel jealous. He saw my hesitation and said to forget about it and to just focus on us, but I find it impossible to let it go. I love him and I want to fulfill him sexually, help? Have any of you experienced this before? Any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [25M] broke up with my GF [22F] of 4 years and got a handjob from another woman soon after. Regret it all and want my GF back. POST: Hi Reddit. I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend, for a number of reasons (which I now see were bullshit, and just me looking for excuses to end things). After getting out of such a long term relationship, I really felt the need to 'let off some steam' - so arranged a hookup online with someone (who I did not know prior). We met up, and it was awkward as you'd expect, resulting in her giving me a handjob. Literally the split second the handjob was over - a wave of guilt and realisation washed over me, and I knew I had made a mistake in breaking up with my girlfriend the month before. I actually vomited when I got home. I feel like total scum, and like my actions have sullied our relationship forever. But I love this girl, and need to tell her how I feel. So I am planning to write to her and tell her everything, and that I think we should get back together. Adding to the complication, she is away visiting family for the next 3 weeks. Do I send her a long email now, explaining how I feel? Or do I wait for her to get back and talk in person? Or maybe wait until she gets back and then send an email? Or perhaps I really am massively in the wrong here, and need to just let her be. She has been crushed by the breakup, would it be better for both of us to just not tell her about this random hookup, and remain broken up? Really not looking to either be told I've done nothing wrong, nor be told I'm the world's biggest bastard. I feel like shit. I am just looking for advice on the next step from people who might have had similar experiences in the past. Thanks a lot in advance for any help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Am I [20/M] being too cautious and boring by not drinking for my girlfriend [19/F] POST: So my girlfriend attracts a lot of attention, from guys on the street to people we know. I've seen all manners of things even her co-workers who know both of us try to steal her from me. In short, there's always someone trying it with her. Anyway since we started dating I drink a lot less at parties and gatherings because I prefer to be sober when I'm on the streets with my girlfriend. Someone usually says something and I prefer to be sober just incase anything does happen. So now my girlfriend and I are moving to the same university together and into the same student building, it's going to be freshers week soon so alcohol is expected to be drunk, a lot of guys will be horny and attracted to my girlfriend, I'll run into a lot of good guys and life long friends and a lot of douchebags who won't care we're in a relationship - and knowing this it's making me think of holding back on the alchohol so that I'm always cautious and aware. But what do you guys think? Am I being too paranoid or is my thinking rational? Note that I actually like drinking, it's nice to have a break you know? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Question: In California, is it illegal for an employee to talk to one of the business partners of a company? POST: I'll try to explain a little, it's awfully convoluted.. I'm working for a start-up in tech, we'll say company B. He took some of the people from his last start-up that tanked, Company A, when he started Company B. Coincidentally while at Company A we worked for another one of his investments(made a website), Company S. Now last week he finds out that an old employee from the original start-up(Comp A) has been helping his business partner from Company S work on a totally unrelated project. The business partner at company S, this is his dream project, and it's unclear if my boss is even invested in the dream project. The ex-employee did not ask for permission to work with the business partner, my boss likened this to "a guy asking his bro's permission to date his ex". btw the dream project is not competing with the current/last business. So when asking about this dream project I got screamed at with how terrible this ex-employee was, and how what he was doing was 1) illegal 2) would get him fired at "any business across the country". So, is my boss right or is he full of it, is it illegal for an employee to talk to a business partner without permission? Or is it immoral/bad in any way? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: Cheated on my diet, I feel disgusting. POST: If my body was my spouse, I think I just went full-on Tiger Woods. Some background: 17/F/190 lbs. About two weeks ago I went shopping and realized I was officially plus-sized, decided to do something. (To my shame, getting diagnosed with PCOS and being at high risk for contracting type 2 diabetes did not wreak this sort of change in mindset upon me.) Since then I've joined Lose It! and have made it a point to start counting calories, cutting carbs and sugar out of my diet, and walking every day. After two weeks on a ~1500 calorie restriction, I just said "fuck it" today and scarfed down an entire pizza, cream puffs, pearl milk tea, lemonade, tons of rice... I feel awful, bloated, hopeless, and shameful. I hate myself so much right now, I don't know what to do. I really needed to get all of this out of my system, so thanks for reading I guess. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My SO [25F] of 3 years has told me [26M] she wants to be stay-at-home mum but I'm not sure what this exactly entails since I only had working single dad raising me when I was child POST: Sorry for posting incredibly ignorant, potentially offensive, question but I needed to know something as I've never seen a stay-at-mum in action, although I've met a few but none in action. I did some financial calculations, we can certainly survive comfortably fine on one salary. Actually, it can be cheaper as child care can be really expensive around here. ...But that's not what I'm unsure about. I mean, I see on TVs that stay-at-home mums look after children and do some chores but I was wondering what do they do when they have nothing to do? I know that everyone has hobbies that they can do in their free time, but I can't imagine doing that myself for a long time. I asked her about this, she's says we'll manage and not to worry about it too much. She has abusive family, so not really a good model to take from as well. So, is this something I should be concerned with or should I let it go? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22M] with my long distance open relationship [23F] POST: Background: Me and girlfriend have been seeing each other for a little under a year. We grew up together before she eventually moved away during high school. Last year we reconnected and immediately felt a connection to each other and starting talking seriously about a relationship. We are both on either side of the coast and we've seen each other when we could, mostly because she lives near where my parents live and I can justify a trip to visit home. We keep in touch pretty regularly, but have our own lives in our respective areas. We have told each other we love each other and are both thinking about spending the rest of our life together. She is finishing school currently and we have talked about her moving to where I live currently. Situation: I'm making another trip home, mostly to visit my grandfather who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and doesn't have long to live. While that's most of the reason I planned a 2 day trip during this visit for me and my girlfriend to get away and both enjoy our summer (we have both been working our asses off full time in retail positions this summer). I told her a month ago to keep the two dates open for our trip, think a 5-star night at a place with another whole day planned for us. The trip is coming up and she just recently told me that she can only stay for a single day, while I've mentioned it on a few occasions to keep the days open. She's been a bit distant and I'm now hurt because I now don't want to take this trip for one day with her because it'd mean a ridiculous amount of driving to her home by the evening and I'd be completely alone the next day. I don't know what to say to her now and I almost want to cancel the whole trip. What should I do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My BF of 1 year [24M] says I [23F] don't care about any of his interests and I had no idea POST: He accused me of this today out of nowhere. I'm completely shocked because I always ask him about what's he is doing or thinking about, how was his day... how's the game he's playing... He just gives me one worded answers and that's that. I always encourage him to open up to me but he said it will take time so I left him be. He always asks me what I'm up to and I answer thoroughly because I'm talkative. He's a great listener btw. When we hang out he always asks me what I want to do... I tell him you can decide but he always says no it's up to me. So he blew up today saying I don't care any of his interests. I came over last night and he played Fallout 4 while I watched. I had a good time, we even ended up having sex but after we were done he continued playing. He seemed fine... but now he's avoiding me after a series of angry text messages. He said I seemed bored when I was watching him play Fallout even tho I was so into it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (18m) get overprotective and jealous easily with my girlfriend (18f) of 4 months POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now, and she's perfect. She's smart and pretty, sarcastic, and knows when to take me down a peg. She's the perfect person for me and I say that wholeheartedly. I recently realized that I get jealous and overprotective easily (I try to keep it locked down and it's been working so far). I even told her of my tendencies to do so and she told me that we should try to work through them. I looked at other posts here and I think it's because I'm really insecure about myself: physical appearance isn't great and I can be obnoxious sometimes. I guess my question is how to be less jealous and overprotective, or be less insecure about myself. I'm considering going to the on-campus therapist just to get his/her opinion on the issue. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by drinking too much and making a fool of myself. POST: Background: I'm a quite kind of guy who does not talk much in front of strangers in groups.I only talk with my good friends(5 or 6).But in a group,my mind goes blank and I don't feel like talking. So there is a birthday party of my friend and he buys lots of whisky.So we are in my room and I am rolling joints and drinking.We call up some guys (10-15 maybe and some of them were our juniors) to our room and start to drink/smoke.I was quiet at first, but as I reached my threshold limit,I started blabbing(detalis are fuzzy and i'm relying on friend's memory) about random shit .people were shocked as they had never heard me speak that much. Then I got a call from my brother and in my drunken state i talk to him and tell him i'm drunk(rest i dont remember).I go back to room and start to search for another whisky bottle, I go to the cupboard and start grabbing at empty air(everyone starts laughing while me drunk no care).I talk some more and fell asleep. Next morning I wake up and find that I was sleeping beside my vomit for the whole night.Had to wash the mattress.Didnt remember shit from last night.FML. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My ex-girlfriend [24/F] and I [23/M] broke up three weeks ago [4.5 year relationship]. I just got back from meeting with her at a coffee house to talk and exchange personal belongings. Can someone please just offer me some positive support right now? POST: I'm not sure I really need advice or something, so I'm not sure I'm even in the right sub. But my SO and I broke up just three weeks ago after a 4.5-year relationship. I was really hurting for the first week, but the last two I've been doing better. Honestly, although the breakup was unquestionably due to her, it was pretty mutual. I don't want to go too far into detail, but we just didn't and couldn't work together. We tried and tried for a really long time, but in the end it was just too difficult. But, that doesn't make it hurt less. I've been through a rough breakup before, so I know the steps. It's just really hard sometimes. I guess all I'm looking for is for someone to just tell me again that it's going to be okay. When she handed me a bag with all my stuff that I kept at her apartment, it kind of just hit me all over again. I'm alright, it's just that the hurt is all resurfacing after talking with her for two hours. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 M] with my Girlfriend [29 F] of five years, I feel like we need to get married but I just don't feel it because of the sexual compatability POST: We have a stable relationship we live together for several years, both have stable jobs near by, are good friends, and support each other. I feel like I need to marry her this year but I just don't feel inspired too. I know for a fact it's because of the sex life. She is just more shy and reserved about her body / body image and I'm much more open and aggressive. I feel very attracted to her but the thought of this being my sex life for the rest of my life makes me very unhappy -- but I can't see myself leaving her. Like the relations arn't bad I just don't feel a strong connection with her about it. Any advice or perspective welcome. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: What are your thoughts on rollerblading? POST: I rollerbladed for a little bit when I was 13 or so. At the time it was just a passing fancy and I didn't stick with it. But 7 months ago, I got a random urge to skate. I went to the rink and messed around for a bit, then bought my own skates. Now, 19 and in college, I'm practicing what's known as slalom skating, which is basically doing tricks through cones. I was aware of the fact that rollerblading had lost popularity since I was 13, but wasn't aware of the stigma. The topic somehow came up in conversation and that's the first time I heard "The hardest part of rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay." Now that I'm aware of it, I'm more conscious of people around me when I'm out skating. I mean, I'll still keep doing it, but is the stigma of rollerblading really that widespread? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU as a waiter, im 18. POST: This happened last friday, So I am a waiter and 18 years old in Canada. I can serve and handle alcohol legally and have just started taking tables. I had a couple tables and was serving a family of 3, a mom, dad, and a baby. So I had 1 pint and a wine glass on a tray with one hand, and a kids chicken fingers plate in the other. As I walk through the dining room, it is quite busy since its the Friday dinner rush. I'm navigating my way through when I finally approached at the table and stopped. Behind me, a lady moved out her chair to get up knocking my elbow causing the tray to shift. The fucking pint of Canadian fell and dumped on the babies head in the booster seat. The wine glass was fine, but somehow I managed to tip the pint over. The parents gave me a look of disbelieve and horror. All eyes were on me at that point, and one drenched crying baby. I spewed apologies every second and the parents were fucking mad, and the crying baby added to the commotion. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining TITLE: About to have 10 to 15 people over and I have a dog that jumps on people when they enter the door, he is very overwhelming. What can I do to make this work? POST: We're having a small party at my house with 10 to 15 guests, all adults. I have two dogs, an older chihuahua mix who is pretty tame, and a 16 month old lab/doxen mix who is sweet but can be very overbearing!! He jumps on people when they enter the door and will nip at people's shoes and jeans. We have been overdue for dog lessons, and will be registering him for puppy training at Petco soon. What can I do when people come in the door so that Buddy (the lab) will not overpower them and make them uncomfortable? We have a crate and plenty of things to occupy his time with, I just want him to be able to socialize with the people at the party well without us just sticking him in the crate with a chew toy. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Boyfriend of 1 year and some change cannot seem to stop talking to other women. POST: He is 23, I'm 20. He has cheated in the past but admitted to it, after a break I decided bygones are bygones, etc. I have the password to his email and we share a laptop. One day he left his email logged on, and I saw some lewd emails from him replying to craigslist ads. This sparked my curiosity, and I have been watching ever since. You see, he's a sneaky kind of person. He withholds the truth but swears he doesn't try to lie. All that. A week ago, I confronted him about the situation. To be clear, I don't believe he is acting on these emails at this point. I told him that it is unacceptable to be asking for a "twitter girlfriend", telling other girls that they are cute and otherwise flirting, and speaking inappropriately to other women was unacceptable. After his continual denial, he finally admitted to it and said that it was just us from now on. Now, today, his email had a message about him replying to a female wanting a threesome before 7 today. I don't know where he's been all day, he said a friends, but he's a liar, as we've discussed. I don't know that he acted on this, he better not have, but he said he was "interested" in the ad. He came home, I've been cranky and tired so I have said nothing yet. I napped. :P So, my questions are as follows: 1. Am I acting out of the area of appropriateness by stalking his email? 2. How do I proceed in this discussion? 3. Is it even worth the discussion, or do you all think this is not about to last? Thank you everyone for your help! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: It's bad to date/hook-up with an ex's friend, right? POST: I dated my most recent ex for about 2 years, and we did a lot of things and grew up a lot together. We both found our callings in life, moved across the country together, etc. We mutually split up around Christmas of last year, and I moved back home from lack of funds and no where to live where we were. Luckily, I have amazing parents and family that welcomed me back home with open arms and offered me to come stay with them until I got back up on my feet. I managed to get my old job back pretty quickly, where my ex and I used to work together at before we moved away. All of the other employees are all friends of ours, and there was no awkwardness when I started working there again. It was like I picked up right where I left off. But one of the employees, a pretty decent friend of my ex's that I met through her, started showing obvious signs of interest towards me. I was flattered at first, and catered to the idea of us seeing each other/possibly dating/hooking-up, but grew out of it really quickly because of the situation of her being semi-close friends with my ex, working at the same place again, etc. I've been hot and cold with her for awhile (about a month and half now), and I think she is getting the hint I'm sort of not into it, but kind of am. It's weird, I know. I keep psyching myself out of it, but then find myself getting jealous and anxious that I might pass something up or see her with another guy. What do you guys think I should do? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Looking for advice on a rebound relationship POST: I (22 M) broke up from a long-term relationship (5+ years) about a month ago. For the sake of simplicitly we were basically married. I recently hooked up with a girl that I think is really awesome and enjoy being with both inside and outside the bedroom. We haven't spoken openly about it yet, but she seems interested in pursuing a relationship. I say this because of the chain of events: relentless flirting last week, hook up Friday night, spend most of Saturday together, sleep together Saturday night, then she delayed me from leaving as much as she could Sunday morning. This leaves me with a few problems. First, I'm not 100% over my ex. I'm pretty close, but I can't honestly say I'm completely over her. Second, the new girl directly asked some questions about my previous relationship (eg how long was it, why did you break up, etc) to which I gave the vaguest answer that would satisfy. Third, I'm not sure what I want out of this potential relationship. Aside from general advice, I guess I'm looking for direct answers to the following questions: * How do I deal with questions about my previous relationship? The questions I've been asked so far have been about the relationship, rather than my ex. She met my ex once, but I wouldn't say she really knows her. * Is it a terrible idea to pursue a relationship while not completely over my ex? It's not like I'm thinking about my ex all the time, but she still pops up in the back of my mind every now and then. * Is she somehow trying to take advantage of me? I don't know what she would be getting out of it as I haven't even bought her a drink. My current strategy is to call her sometime tomorrow, arrange to meet over coffee or something in a day or two, then have an open and honest discussion about my situation. I'll be pushing for either a slow-moving casual relationship, or a friendship that \ahem\** comes with a benefits package because, frankly, the sex is awesome :D TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [18M] brother [20M] is saying his life is in danger and that people are spying on him. What should I do? POST: So for a couple of weeks now my brother believes someone has hacked in to his phone and that they are listening to all of his conversations and just everything he does. He's suspects it's his friend and his girlfriend who are behind it all because they want to get back at him for something and he really believes his life is in danger. Everything people say he takes as subliminal messages and he thinks they're trying to mess with his mind. He's really paranoid and says he has a hard time sleeping because of all this. Now the thing that makes me very worried is that the friend that he suspects is behind all of this just contacted me saying that my brother was talking about killing himself. I asked him if he knew anything about my brother's phone being hacked but he said that he's been accused by my brother for weeks now but knows nothing about it. This makes me so scared but I don't know how to handle this situation? Is my brother crazy or what if it's true that his friends have been hacking his phone and trying to harm him? Should I talk to my brother or my parents or what should I do? Please help! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps TITLE: On letting go of anger (x-post from r/relationships) POST: Context: I was with my ex on and off for 7 years. I lived with him for a year and broke up/moved out almost 9 months ago. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative. I was miserable the entire time but always thought our relationships issues were my fault. During this time all of his and our mutual friends thought he was just the greatest guy, all the while he would talk epic amounts of crap about them to me. Anytime anyone succeeded at something, he would never be happy for them and say they got handed everything. Anytime anyone would talk about "nerdy" things like comic books he would act like he was the authority on that subject and that they weren't allowed to like it. EVERY single friend he would criticize at length - but never to their face. So now anytime I see his name in le Facebook (we are not friends but his name pops up all the time) I go from zero to rage in a hot second. One, because he was an abusive asshole I wasted my college years and early 20s on. And Two, because all these people chose him and they have NO idea how much he despises all of them and is only friends with them because he wants something from them. Mind you these are people I hooked up with work or tried to help them in some way so I can't help but feel betrayed. I hate that he has this emotional hold on me still - if I could take a pill and erase him from my life I would. And there are other things too. Like if I am seeing someone, a small part of me sizes them up based on how he would react to seeing me with them - like I want to rub it in his face that I am with someone better than him. Same thing goes with any big part of my life - I want to show him I'm better than he is. And it's completely immature and stupid because I should be doing things for me, to make me happy, and I don't need to prove anything to him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I've got my first job interview in less than 3 hours, and I'm scared to death, anyone have some good advice on how to behave and what to wear ? POST: I'm trying not to psych myself out too much, but the nervousness keeps coming back, I'm 18 years old, in college studying psychology, and I need the money pretty badly. The job is as a server at a hotel restaurant, a friend I studied with last semester said she'd put me in touch with the hiring person and put in a good word for me ( the two of them are close ). This is my first job interview for what ( hopefully ) will be my first job and I'm terrified that I'll blow it, I have a really bad habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and just generally being socially awkward. I already got a haircut ( short and professional ) and I've got dressclothes ranging from a shirt, dress-pants, dress-shoes combo to a full suit. Does it matter what color the shirt is ( I have a white, black, and blue shirt ) ? Would overdressing make a bad impression ? What are traits about myself I can highlight to show that I'm the guy for the job ( I did tons of extracurricular stuff in high-school and I'm fluent in german and english, I work really hard but I've never gotten a chance to prove it to an employer. ) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by meeting a beautiful female expat in a foreign country whom I made connections with and not asking for her number before we parted ways. POST: This wasn't today, but over the weekend on a small excursion from HCMC to Da Lat (I'm visiting Vietnam for several months.) I was headed to a family wedding on motorbike with my cousin and along the way we found this waterfall pit stop that had restrooms and served all kinds of beverages. I was kinda thirsty and had to use the bathroom so why not? So we park our bikes and while my cousin is ordering us drinks, I head to the bathroom, or WC as they like to call it over here. Upon entering, I see a super kawaiii cute expat girl fixing her hair in the mirror. Apparently, it's the only bathroom here so I'm guessing it's a co-ed bathroom or something so I walk in anyway. Upon entering, she notices me and says, "hi" and I replied with a "hello, how are you?" Immediately, her eyes widen and was really thrilled that I spoke English and started hammering me with questions, all of which I was really happy to answer. We talked for a good 30 minutes while my cousin tried to decipher the exchange between me and this girl. She was solo-traveling and talked about where she has been to and where she was planning to go. She mentioned that she was from Canada and somehow I brought up weed into the subject. She said she was a huge pothead.. So I guess we had that in common. It wasn't long after that I had to head back out. I think she wanted me to ask for her number but I was too much of a chicken shit to do so. We said our goodbyes and I wished her "safe travels" and that was that. I am going to think about this girl for the next several weeks. Ugh if I could drop-kick myself, I would. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice TITLE: I [F21] got back together with my ex [M23] of one year after 8 months apart, about 2 months ago. How does somebody let go of the past and the pain that was caused? POST: He broke up with me, and was the one to pursue the reconnection. Not only was the breakup very hurtful, we had a few run-ins over the time we were apart where one of us (or both) were too drunk to not make a scene, (and ones that were just fine), started a hands-off "friendship", and had ex-sex (with I love you's and lets get back together's from us both) about a month before actually getting back together. He also fucked one of his best friends about a week after the ex-sex and I love you's. I had began to stop loving him and put him in my past when he made a grand gesture to begin to "win me back." Those feelings still come up sometimes... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Can i get fired for refusing to work on an unagreed upon day? (GA) POST: Here is the first post about my situation: ( ) Basically my employer does anything possible to avoid paying overtime. I called out sick one day last week (4th) and to avoid paying the lady overtime they left me on the schedule (they never asked me about it or anything i found out when i got paid on the 11th) and are demanding I work a day next week "for her" We are both being screwed out of 8 hours of overtime in this scenario. I refused to work this day, because i would not get overtime AND i was demanded to work without being asked if i were free or wanted to. I was overpaid for 12 hours which i told the ceo (smaller company) i would be more than happy to pay back. He has yet to respond to my emails. I came to work yesterday (the 13th) after refusing to work the unagreed upon day on Thursday (the 11th) and there was a very passive agressive "JUNE 2015 SCHEDULE" printed out with the first day being filled in yesterday (letting me know it was made on Friday when i was off and my boss was here) it still had me listed as working that day and had my boss's signature on the bottom. It was his way of saying "YES YOU WILL WORK THIS DAY." Long story short, can i get fired for not showing up on this day? It is not a day i was hired to work (I work Sat, Sun and Thurs. This is a Wednesday) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [30 F] with my Friend [31 F] friends for 12 years. Wants me to recommend her for a job. I don't want to. POST: Background: Alice (31F) and I (30F) have known each other for 12 years. We met at orientation, had the same major, were flatmates from our second year onwards, went to the same school for our masters, were basically best friends since we met. She is an absolutely terrific friend, loyal and kind and smart. After we finished our masters, we were recruited by the same organisation. We worked there for 2 years and then she moved out of the country to do similar work elsewhere while I continued to work in the same organisation and rose through the ranks to the point that now I have considerable influence on who is hired. Current Problem: Alice and I have stayed in touch through skype and regular holidays together. I was her MoH and she was mine. Now her husband has been posted back to the city I live in and has moved here while she wraps things up before moving back as well. Obviously I was psyched about having my best friend back in town, until last week when she called and asked me to recommend her for a position in the organisation where I work. It would help a lot in her relocation process. If I did so, she would definitely be hired. And here's the problem. While Alice is a terrific human being and a fantastic friend, she is a bit of a disaster of an employee. She doesn't meet deadlines, doesn't take her work very seriously, a lot of her work has been shoddy to the point that she has missed multiple promotions. Though she is in another country, we are still in the same field and I've met a lot of her coworkers and bosses, and they've all said the same thing. If I recommend her and her work is not up to mark, it's my name and reputation on the line How do I break it to my best friend that, while I love her, I will not recommend her for a job she desperately needs because I don't want to compromise my professional reputation because of her lack of work ethic and still keep our friendship intact? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [20++ M] with my school colleague [20++ M] 2 weeks, should I feel bad? POST: Intro: I signed up for a consulting case competition and its in teams of 4. Its a month from now in late march What I did: I noticed one of my friends signed up and asked if we want to form a team. He said yes. We needed 2 people and I asked him to find other people to join the team. The day after, I asked a couple of other people and they needed someone on their team and offered it to me . I wanted to bring him in as well but at the time only one spot was given. I didn't have a preference and I just wanted to get a team as soon as possible. It was still early in the process, (there's still 2 weeks left to make teams) so I apologized too him that I wanted to join another team. Now, one of the people in my team decided to duck out and I offered it to him. He hasn't replied but Im hoping he is not angry. It's been about 5-6 days since the whole thing happened Questions: What could I have done better in the situation? Am I a horrible person and how can I remedy this? Thanks guys TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: My boyfriends been doing this a lot lately... POST: And it's getting on my nerves. Me (19) f him (19) m. Been dating for 5 years. We go to different Universities, and live about a 20 minute bus ride away from each other. Whenever he makes plans with me he'll say.."Tuesdays good, lets hang out then. I have class early but that's okay I don't care." And then when Tuesday actually rolls around he'll be like.."Wanna just hang out ____ day instead? I have class too early tomorrow." This is really bothering me. Why is it okay one day but not the next, why even bother making plans with me if you're just going to cancel last minute. It's like he doesn't think things through. And if I get irritated by it he gets mad at me and says's i'm freaking out over nothing because we're still going to see each other at some point that week. I'm not pissed that he is doing the responsible thing and putting school first, i'm just annoyed that he makes these plans one day with me and then changes his mind on the day we're supposed to hang out. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Not paying down student loans as fast as possible to buy a rental property: Stupid, wise, or somewhere in between? POST: Hey /r/personalfinance, To try to be as brief as possible: * About to get married to a fantastic, working, frugal girl. * Able to save around $2k per month living frugally. This is after all expenses, including the minimum payments on our student loans on a 10 year repayment plan. Weighted average interest rate is about 6% for all loan groups. * If we dropped all of our 2k/month "extra" into student loans, we could get them paid off in 4 years instead of ten. * I have been obsessively researching investment real estate, and want to save the "extra" for a down payment on a four-unit house. Live in one unit, and rent out the other 3. I'm quite conservative with investments and would not do this unless it was cash-flow positive. Fiance is worried that things might not go perfectly (which is, frankly, always a possibility even if you cover all the bases) and we have the chance now to get out of debt. I'm worried if we wait 4 years to start going down the home/investment home path, we might get old, comfortable, and possibly have a child, and I'll miss out on one of my greatest chances for getting rich slowly and steadily. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [32/M] with my GF [28/F] of 5 years are having communications issues. She feels "disconnected" and I'm at a loss. POST: We have been dating for just over 5 years and I couldn't be happier with our relationship in general. I have no doubt that she is the one and I love her with all my heart. She's funny, practical, makes great decisions, very supportive, and ambitious. We haven't had sex for the past 6 weeks. I've made numerous passes at her and asked out right quite a few times. For the first little while she let me know she wasn't in the mood, no problem. A few nights ago she seemed tense so I asked her if anything was on her mind. She said "No, anything on yours?" To which I responded, "yes, would you like to have sex" Her response was surprising to me but basically was this: "I feel emotionally disconnected from you right now and I don't know why, I can't get in the mood." she then broke into tears as embraced her. I want to fix this so bad but I know that not all problems are ones that I should try to fix. I tried a proactive approach and wrote down all the things I have been thinking about through the day so that I could tell them to her when I got home in an effort to reconnect but I don't think it really landed. Still haven't had sex. Help? How do I TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Question about short-code SMS service subscriptions POST: Today I was looking at my AT&T wireless bill for the first time in a few months and I noticed a $9.99 monthly charge for the following: Horoscopegenie Alert Short Code 27140 ID 35603 Provider Wisemedia US I'm the last person to subscribe to any of these moronic services, much less a horoscope one, but this was under my girlfriend's number on our shared account, and she actually puts some stock into horoscope stuff and of the two of us is definitely the one to point the finger at. Anyway, she's already in one hell of a mood tonight but I asked her about it. She denies ever signing up for it and gets all huffy and defensive despite my attempt to explain that I don't care. Whatever. So I called AT&T customer service and inquire. Apparently the subscription started some time in February. I explain that neither of us subscribed, and I'm told that these providers can sign people up without their consent by sending a message unsolicited and if the receiver doesn't reply "Stop" then they keep coming. I express my utter disbelief and ask some more questions to clarify, and the rep insists that yes, the provider can send you an SMS out of the blue signing you up. I demand that the charges be removed (they do so, including the 3rd month that they normally wouldn't) and I inquire how I can put a block on any subscription SMS services going forward. They have a couple of options, one is $5/month and allows all sorts of custom blocking of all sorts of things, and another free option that blocks ALL phone-based purchases (including app store) using a PIN that I'm supposedly prompted for to authorize them. I'm not pleased that they're putting an additional PIN on top of my Apple App Store password, but it seems the only option. So yeah, WTF? Can I really get signed up for subscription SMS services without requesting them in the first place? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Probably at the end of my relationship (17f) s/o (17m) POST: We'll have been dating for a year a week from tomorrow. Our relationship was great until july. We hardly ever argued, it was all fun and games and then I went on vacation and we couldn't talk during summer... and when school started, it was all fights all the time. Last november, he decided that we should break up before we ended up hating each other. And I agreed for a day... but the next day at school was unbearable so I came crying to him and he felt bad and took me back....... that wasn't my goal but it made me happy. We saw each other once over christmas break and we had a great time. Then I was worried that I had gotten pregnant and I was too afraid to tell him so I bitched at him for a few days... and his parents told him that they thought I was trapping him and that he was unhappy and stressed out and the suggested we break it off.. so we talked and, in the end, I got my way with staying together till my last final exam because I know that I can't take the stress of being newly single and writing exams. Now it just works out that we're together for our anniversary... and he also told me that he might stay with me anyways. And I'm sad. Not because I'm losing my boyfriend... because I know that the only thing that matters to me is his happiness. I know that I have to let him live his life and I can't depend on him. I know that I will always love him and that he'll always hold a place in my heart and I'm scared that he'll get over me in the blink of an eye. He's my best friend and the love of my life and it hurts so much to let him go and I know that I probably will have to... and I'm scared I'll never love someone like I loved him. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [M17] struggle carrying conversation with girl [F17] even though its a mutual feeling POST: I am currently a senior in high school and there is this girl I have known since my freshman year. We have been good friends since we have known each other. For example, just teasing each other when we run into each other. Around December of last year we really started to like each other and we were starting to make plans about hanging out with each other. However, before I was able to make a serious move, she gradually started to ignore me. I was not able to figure out what the problem was so sent her a multiple paragraph and in the text I said "I don't like you that much anyways and I can get over you soon" and she replied with "lol okay." I later found out she was really upset about that because I made her feel unimportant. A month passed and we were in February and she still wasn't taking to me so I tried to talk to her and she completely went off on me and said how I was a rude and narcissistic person (which was true at the time). Over the next two months I tried really really hard to be nice and later in May she apologized to me for making such a big deal out of it and once again we were best friends. When the school year started and I started seeing her every day, I realized that I really liked her. She didn't feel the same way but later her friends told me that she will give me another chance because I have changed so much and I am significantly nicer. Now present day, she comes and talks to me in a pleasant manner every day and she wants me to talk to her but I really struggle starting to even continuing conversations these days and I feel like she gets bored with that. This has going on for a few weeks but I still can't seem to get over the nervousness. Any advice or tips for this welcome. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] duration 1.5 years, how do i stop being selfish and driving her away? POST: I feel this might be therapeutic just writing it out. We're both 21 and this would count as our first major relationship each. We both enjoy each other's company and have plenty of things in common. A bit about each of us: I'm an engineering student that is a bit of a nerd and often described as smart, although I try hard to avoid having that be what identifies me it's usually how i'm introduced to people. I enjoy being sociable, going gym, and definitely spending time with her. She is the same age, also a uni student but at another university doing exercise science. She is also quite sociable, enjoys going out, loves her dog, her football (not a big interest of mine but i'll watch with her) and generally having fun. We're both satisfied with the intimacy of the relationship and enjoy being with each other. It seems the thing coming between us is points where i disappoint her piling up. Neither of us is perfect and we seem to annoy each other occasionally. We've spoken about how we feel a few times, and after any time we have an argument we normally get back on track and are good for a while. I went away for a week some months back and practically didnt contact her for the time. I didnt make a huge effort because reception was a problem, but I just failed to consider how it made her feel. Combined with a few incidents she felt I was just using her when it suited me. More recently after a party we came home from I was tired from getting up early and she was far from sleep thanks to a few jagerbombs. she was starting to bug me and she declared she was going to sleep outside on the back porch. Practically the moment she left I passed out and went to sleep, and didnt go to check on her. Whether or not it was some sort of play or test isn't really a factor to me, because I believe i did the wrong thing. I acted selfishly again and regretted it. I've spoken to her and got a "we're ok i guess" sort of answer but i'm really worried this is a last chance. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [16 M] with my friend [16 F] . I don't know if shes dropping a hint to go to homecoming with me or not. POST: Alright i should explain, i'm in high school currently and this upcoming week (Friday) is homecoming, now I wasn't planning on going until last Friday during class this girl (we will call her Sally) walks up to me one day and asks me and a friend (who happened to be sitting next to me), " sooo, what about this upcoming dance" while looking at me full eye contact and smiling. Me not knowing what's going(i'm a very dense person) and say "what about them?" and then she walks off blushing all shy like, she also said something about Erin (her close friend, and friend of mine) daring her to say that. At first I didn't understand until I got the feeling that she would like to ask me to the dance or something or she wanted me to ask her. now this wouldn't be too weird but i'm the shy person in class and not to mention i'm not the "buff" type, but i'm not skinny either. so i go ask Erin about what happened (later on that day) with Sally and she looks at me and then smiles and says "oh don't worry she will be asking you some question(s) later and then winks and goes off to class. Now i'm really at a loss here Reddit because i don't know if shes trying to ask me to homecoming or if i'm over thinking this thing. To summarize the only time I've talked to this Sally is when we worked together on a get to know each other project during the beginning of the year, other then that we haven't really talked to each other since. So yea the next time I will see her is tomorrow at school (well since the time of me writing this it will be Monday). TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/books TITLE: Science fiction and religion POST: I haven't read a ton of books, but I have noticed that religion is a recurrent theme in the sci-fi/space opera genre. Some examples are Dune, Xenocide and Hyperion Cantos. I understand that it's a controversial issue, so I'm not going to take sides. I will just say this: religion (at least in the first world) is a lot less prevalent today than it was 50 years ago. It doesn't mean that it will disappear completely in the future, but I it's safe to assume it will be even less prevalent 500 or 1000 years from now. Yet in Xenocide Ender's colony world has a church with a great following, in Dune sand people await the arrival of their Messiah and in Hyperion the capital of the colony world Hyperion has ''three Zen Gnostic assembles and four High Muslim mosques'' in a city with about half a million residents. I find it completely unrealistic and out of place in these futuristic societies. So my question is: Do you agree/disagree? Why? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [20m] a month into being dumped and it still hurts POST: I am a month into a breakup with an abusive girlfriend and I still want her back and can't get her off my mind. How long does this pain last? I can see how bad she treated me and my mind is moved on. But I can't even do normal stuff without thinking about her. It was 2 and a half years and we lived together. She was my first girlfriend and she has moved on real quickly. What are some tips to get over it? I have cut contact but occasionally she still is able to contact me via email and ruin my good moods. She rubbed her new boyfriend in my face multiple times. I need help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated TITLE: DBL - Don't be lazy POST: I have a little thing I do. It used to be that everytime I thought about doing something this little voice in my head would always think 'ugh thats so hard' or 'man that's a lot of work' I was always putting things off and never accomplishing the things I wanted to do. About a month ago I embraced a new motto - DBL - Don't be lazy. Now everytime the little voice in my head says 'man that seems like a lot of work' I say back - DBL. No matter what it is as soon as I catch myself saying that I know I'm on the verge of being lazy so I drop whatever I'm doing and tackle whatever it is that made me think 'ugh that's a lot of work'. I just fucking do it. Then afterwards I feel like I've accomplished something. I've exercised every day, kept my house clean, gone to the far grocery store for cheaper groceries, flossing every day, on a day to day basis I find myself doing more and more stuff that I wouldn't have done out of laziness before. So next time you think something is too hard or too much work, just tell yourself DBL and do it anyways. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Relationships bring out the worst in me; I really want to fix this POST: Mid-20s M here in a 2 year long relationship with a mid-20s F. Lived together for about a year. I'm aware I have some personal issues I need to overcome (job, anxiety, anger, etc) and I find myself depressed and frustrated a lot of the time. I've noticed this as a pattern with all of my past relationships. The insecurities, quirks and bad habits that can be hidden away when I'm single come out, and are magnified when I'm in a relationship. I'm trying hard to change these habits and issues, but it's a slow process, and I find it difficult to do without creating frustration and resentment in the relationship. It's also hard for me to work on my own personal issues and maintain a relationship. She's a wonderful girlfriend, and I do not want to lose her. But, she is clearly frustrated with my behavior and has stopped trying to help. All of the romance, intimacy, and affection has evaporated on both ends. I'm afraid she's going to leave me, and I wouldn't blame her if this keeps up. I'm very much still in love with her and attracted to her. I see a future for us, and I sincerely want to work things out. But, I hate myself sometimes. I hate what I've become. I have a lot to offer, but I just don't feel like it. I honestly don't know where to begin to start fixing this. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: How can I go about asking her out? POST: So I (18) have been friends with this girl (17) for a while now and our communication in terms of texting and face to face has been a little bad recently. I only see here around in the halls and once a week for about two hours at an after school club before I drop her off at her house. I used to have a crush and the feelings have resurfaced. Idk how she feels about me and if she feels that we are anything more than friends. She was very excited to get me into the club, but other than that I can't be sure how she feels. I was wondering if you know any good ways to start conversation/check to see how she feels about me? I've been single for a while and my self esteem is kinda shot, so I'm kinda awkward about this stuff. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Wanting Advice on Disclosing an Affair and Keeping Info about NSA Affair Partners from Craigslist from Wife POST: Over the past year, I have had multiple affairs with multiple women that I have met on Craigslist. I am in my mid thirties and they have ranged to as young as 23 years old and as old as mid-forties... I have been married for 5 years with two kids (I know, I am a complete douche - so please don't take this opportunity to remind me...) I am soon going to be disclosing my behavior with my wife of nearly 6 years and obviously it is going to come as a huge shock and blow to her. I expect a lot of detailed questions about the affair (who, what, when, where, and why) and I am conflicted about the degree to which I should protect my affair partner's anonymity. I only know the true identity of a few partners and the rest are anonymous. The question I have is whether or not I should disclose where the affairs happened (mostly at their homes or apartments), their email addresses (most of which are fake yahoo accounts), and their names if I know them? My thoughts are that my affairs are about me and not about these women and given the number, their info is not pertinent. I also understand that I don't really get to call the shots any more and need to do whatever is necessary for my wife to heal… Anyway, I have an appointment with a therapist to discuss this, just thought I would get the opinion of the reddit world… TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My aunt [F50] invited the whole clan to Christmas - and is deliberately excluding my family [F55, M55, F21, F18]. POST: The Aunt in question is my Moms sister. My immediate family is me (F21) sister (F18) mom and dad (50ish). The extended side of the family is huge-there are 2 sisters and 5 brothers and all have minimum 4 kids (most are grown with kids of their own, also invited to this Christmas event). Aunt volunteered to host Christmas this year and invited all the Uncles, wives, kids, and even dogs, but she has stated she will not be inviting my mom, dad, me, or my little sister, whom she is godmother to. --- My Mom and my Aunt got in a small argument a few months ago, nothing major, but Aunt over reacted and chose to stop speaking to mom. Grandma intervened and told Aunt and Mom to stop the fight, Mom apologized but Aunt decided to stop speaking to Gma too! Inviting Gma to Christmas was the first time they spoke in 6 months. My mom has a great relationship with her other siblings, one of her brothers is even temporarily staying at our house right now. They all want to see each other. My family is 15 shades of dysfunctional but no one else would ever dream of breaking up Christmas like this. --- I want to be with my extended family for Christmas. I love em. What can I do (or influence my Mother and Grandmother to do) that will get me to see my extended family for Christmas? Apologies from Mom to Aunt did nothing. I'm not sure if the Uncles all know about this. Would having a whole 2nd Christmas gathering be rude and undermine Aunt? Should we just crash Aunt's party? Please give me some insight on how to fix this fiasco of a holiday. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Help me(20f) get bf (25m) to the gym. POST: In the beginning of our relationship my bf had a pretty high libido and I did too. Mine plateaued slightly and then I started doing crossfit and it skyrocketed. I would have jumped his bones anytime I came over if I could. I attribute the big jump in libido to my diet and exercise change. His libido has gone down dramatically. We went from having sex daily, to once a week if I'm lucky after getting rejected every other day. His diet is pretty shitty and he doesn't do any physical activity other than work, he's an electrician. He also had a run in with testicular cancer about 6 months ago and is in remission now. From what I can tell, his libido drop is probably a mix of shit food, no exercise, and maybe low testosterone? He has been mentioning wanting to get in the gym for a while now. Like a long while. I started crossfit and have extended many invitations to have him come along and he says cf isn't for him. How can I nicely get him to come to just a normal gym without offending him? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [18 F] with my friend(?) [18 F] of one week, not sure about sending a card on V-Day POST: About a week and a half ago this very nice girl messaged me on OkCupid. We send a few essay like messages and had a Skype conversation yesterday. All went well. We added each other on social media, etc. I'd say we're in the get to know/friend stage now. In the Skype call she said this was going to be the worst valentines day ever, because she just broke up with her 11 month girlfriend. I had this awesome idea about a card design, not a romantic one but just a friendly one, and I am considering sending it to her. You know, just as a friendly gesture to brighten up her day. Might also wanna throw in a bar of chocolate. I don't know her address, but I do know where she works. I was thinking about sending the stuff there. (After calling the place to ask if that's okay.) My question is: would this be weird? Creepy? Too soon? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Girlfriend (19F) forces me (20M) to hang out even after I say I don't want to. What do I do? POST: Should have clarified in the title that's it's HANGING OUT WITH HER FRIENDS. I don't have a problem with hanging out with her as we live together. My girlfriend lately has been really stressing me out. Whenever someone wants to hang out, she really tries to drag me along even after I tell her I'm not interested. First problem, she tells them that we can all hang out and makes plans without even asking me. Second problem, then when I say I don't want to she will come up with excuses as to why we should. Such as "Oh we won't be out long", "the roads should be clear of snow in a few hours", or "I already told them we would and I don't want to look bad" Third problem, then once she accepts the fact that I mean NO. She will text them and instead of, "oh were busy", it's "My boyfriend said no, so we can't, maybe next time he will be up for it" Final problem, she lets her friends talk her into anything which means if they keep begging to hang out, she will keep trying to make excuses to me and getting mad at me when I say no. I tell her she can go alone but she insists that of she does that I'll think she's doing something behind her back, which I won't! Then it's a huge list of excuses as to why we should be going out. Then when I get mad because a no means no, she gets super childish and acts like it's my fault to everyone. I'm more of a homebody. I don't like going out every other night. What do I do to solve this cycle, because it really ruins the whole day for me and for us. It instantly puts me into a bad mood and us into an argument all day. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My Mom does not support anything I do, and puts down what I like POST: My mom has no idea who I am or what I do. I live with her, but not once has she shown any real interest in who I am as a person, what my capabilities are, and what I enjoy. She sees everything in a very convenient lens, the window of us being home from 5PM-9PM every night. She will drink the entire time, and then comment on how I should "get off the pot" when I use it at night after all of my homework is done, I go to the gym, etc. Why the fuck should I even have to defend myself when I'm 22? Also, every time I go to her with any kind of idea or interest, she simply will shoot it down by talking about money or how "are you sure you want to get into that?" I'm not asking you to help me, but some interest in who I am and what I'm doing would be great. This does not help when I am kind. My kindness has not ever changed her. As a result, I am short and of course I don't want to talk to her. She'll only make it worse by trying to guilt me by saying " I Know you hate me" and "I know you hate talking to me." No shit I don't like talking to you, because every time I do I feel like a lesser human. One day I told her I was tired of her not supporting anything I ever bring up, so she said finally "don't worry about what I have to say! Go do what you love!" So I finally started my own project, and I began my own stream on Twitch.tv. The other day, she comes into my room without even knocking, after I texted her telling that if she says anything to me or interrupts, you'll be interrupting my stream. She doesn't care. Doesn't try to understand. Her response? "Are you sure you should be doing that on a school night?" YOU TOLD ME TO DO WHAT I WANTED, BACK OFF. I cannot begin to explain how tired I am of her. I can't even move out because I can't afford it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I[F19] cheated on my boyfriend[M20] POST: I[F19] have been dating my boyfriend[M20] for 11 months now, and a couple of day ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on him with me ex-boyfriend, who is a scum bag that is going to jail. I never meant to hurt him and the day after I came out and told him everything. I am a very honest person and I am not someone that would ever cheat. What happened is beyond me and I feel worthless and empty. I cheated on the most amazing guy in this world, he is who i want to spend the rest of my life with and he adores me a lot. I've hurt him and I know the consequence is I will never be with him again. I learned my lesson and I still want to be with him. What should i do? Keep fighting or leave him alone? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: I need some help cleaning up my front page and joining smaller/alternate subreddits. Can you make some suggestions? Reasoning inside.. POST: It's Reddit's recent growth I think. Just as one example, I used to love going to the comments on every single submission on the front page. I was always entertained or my knowledge improved. Now.. it gets harder and harder to find the good comments. ["Best" comment example] (if sorted by "best"). I like the idea of a videos only subreddit, but stuff like that makes me not want to read comments anymore, which is by far my favorite part of Reddit. I'm guessing that a lot of people are branching out away from the standard subreddits and into smaller or alternative subreddits to avoid the mass. I'm on quite a few subreddits, but it has made my front page a mess when mixed in with everything else. So, I would like advice on which bigger subreddits to drop, and which smaller ones to pick up that essentially do the same thing, just have a much smaller community to avoid submissions and comments that make me think I'm accidentally visiting Digg and Digg is trying everything they can to be like Reddit, so they redesign the layout to look and feel like Reddit. But then I check my address bar. It is Reddit. **Joking aside & TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 F] with my (ex)boyfriend [26 M], I hurt him to be petty and it blew up in my face. Not sure how to handle it. POST: Things had been rocky for my boyfriend and I for a couple of months, but we were able to both get to a place where everything was perfect. The rockiness stemmed mostly from communication issues. I would express that his behavior hurt me and he would get mad at me for "accusing him" of things and it just led to argument after argument. I finally decided I couldn't change him and just decided to work around the fact that he wouldn't apologize or take my concerns seriously. Once I essentially "gave up," the relationship became perfect and he was communicating better and even apologizing when he hurt me. The fighting lasted July - the beginning of August and by the end of August, the relationship was amazing again. While we were fighting, I messaged a guy on Facebook to be petty and get back at my boyfriend. I never thought to delete the messages and I forgot that they were there for a while. My boyfriend discovered them earlier this week and got all of my stuff out of his apartment immediately after. He pretty much dumped me without telling me he was dumping me. I understand that he was mad and doesn't owe me an explanation, but I can't believe he is throwing away two years over Facebook messages! I have caught him saying racist things about me to his friends and he has girlfriends that he sneaks off to hang out with and I always let him explain himself. It just bothers me that he won't even give me a second chance after I've given him a million chances. What I did was wrong, but I didn't physically cheat on him and our relationship was in such a good place when he found those messages. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: To burn off one M&M candy, you need to SLEEP for 3.5 minutes. POST: An M&M is 3.4 calories. FitDay tells me a 150 lb. person burns about 63 calories in one hour of sleep. So I need to sleep for about 3.5 minutes for every M&M I eat. I think this gives the best perspective I've ever seen on how difficult it is to overcome a bad diet without sleeping. For the record, though, it just makes me want to put a jar of M&Ms on both sides of the bed and roll back and forth until I fall into a diabetic coma. **Forgive my satire (the math/facts are correct) but let's remember not to freak out over 4 calories, we need thousands of those a day just to function TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: Don't know what I'm doing wrong... Help please! POST: Hey everyone :) So, here is a little background of my weight history. When I was younger, I was a chubby girl and when I was 12 I convinced my family to let me adopt a 100% raw & vegan food lifestyle (to lose weight and battle other health issues). I did this for about 8 years and felt absolutely amazing! I lost weight and had an extremely healthy lifestyle (I was also homeschooled, so this made it super easy to eat better and go biking, etc whenever I wanted to). I was eating pure, vibrant, healthy food and was the healthiest, happiest kid I knew. However, when I was about 20, I decided I had done raw food for long enough and I wanted to see how I would feel if I incorporated some cooked vegan foods back into my diet. It was fine at first, but I started gaining weight once I added back dairy. So far, I am still a strict vegetarian, trying to work back to being a complete vegan, but have gained back SO much weight just from these changes. Now, I'm 22 and about 30 lbs heavier than I want to be (my healthy weight is about 140 which is my goal). Since I decided it was time to lose weight, I've been trying to make time to work out everyday - which is very hard considering I work long hours in an office everyday - and eat better. So far, I have been biking to work and back home (about 1 to 1.5 hours total) or if I can't make time for that, I at least try to make it to my favorite climbing gym and climb for at least an hour. I've also been trying to eat mostly salads and fresh foods, not much processed stuff. However, despite my efforts... I still give in to candy/chocolate when I get massive sugar cravings and am worried that even though I am changing my eating habits, will these little sugar binges every once and awhile really halt my weight loss? As of now, I am still not losing weight and think this is the problem but I don't really know how much of an affect a couple pieces of "bite-size" chocolate can have. Sorry this is so long, but thank you if you read through it! Any advice would help!! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26F] Single and Alone during the Holidays for the first time in years POST: My boyfriend of several years and I broke up about a month ago. It wasn't ugly or messy; the relationship had just run its course for now. We've spent 3 Holiday seasons together-- with his family. I severed all contact with my own family two years ago (won't get into it, but it was warranted and he supported me), and when we started dating after many years of friendship, his family essentially adopted me as one of their own. November was pretty rough for me-- I moved out of our house, live in a totally different area now, and all my friends live too far away for me to hang out with them on a very regular basis. I'm also not really close enough to any of their families to be spending the holidays with them. So I'm by myself this season. Of course I miss him-- he was a huge part of my life-- but more than that, I miss his family, but I know it's inappropriate for me to spend time with them anymore. I've spent NYE and Christmas alone by myself before (I was completely consumed by grad school applications, which effectively distracted me from everything for several weeks), but this year, I don't have that. I want to get into the Christmas spirit, but it feels pretty pathetic when I don't really have anyone to share it with. How do I distract myself from the sad/negative feelings? Many of my acquaintances and co-workers don't know yet that my boyfriend and I have split, nor that I am estranged from my family. To avoid awkwardness, when they ask me what I'm doing for such-and-such holiday, I usually end up lying. Any advice or ideas on what I should do on Christmas Eve/Day and NYE to avoid feeling depressed? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend [18F] broke up with me [19M] and I'm not coping well. POST: We dated for a year. Her and I never dated anyone before and it was an incredible relationship. Many fights, I admit but we loved each other. A couple months back I was forced to move away for school causing it to be even harder. She broke up with me last week and we both promised we wouldn't hurt each other or see someone else for a while. It seemed reasonable, how could we see someone else right after a year long relationship? Well she did. I chased her for 9 months before we started dating just to get her out on a date. Some guy got her in a couple hours. I'm so hurt and I don't know what to do. I take Tylenol all day, I disconnected my phone, Facebook, Twitter and all other forms of social media. Some guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs TITLE: Aggressive dog moving next door, help? POST: My boyfriend and I moved into one half of a duplex two months ago with our two dogs (4 yr old boxer/hound and 10 yr old beagle/dachshund). This week we found out that a few acquaintances of mine will be renting the other side of the duplex and that they told the landlord they will have 2 dogs. I have since received word that there will actually be 4 or 5 dogs, though I don't know that this landlord will mind that part, as my boyfriend's previous roommate in another one of this landlord's properties got two dogs without telling her. What worries me a lot more is that one of these dogs, a mastiff puppy, has already killed another dog. They're trying to keep this information quiet, so I'm not sure how many of our mutual friends know this—I assume they didn't tell the landlord. Both sides of the duplex share a single fenced yard, and I'm concerned for our dogs' safety as well as our own. My boyfriend has a good relationship with this landlord, and I would like to discuss my concerns with her. What is the best way to bring this up? I'd prefer to have this issue resolved before they move in and not after there's already been an issue. Also, if the landlord will not void their lease, what can I do to keep our dogs safe? TL;DR:

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