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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Am I [27F] justified in leaving a friendship with my friend [29F] who's dating a scumbag? POST: I really loved her. I had some of the best time in my life with her. However, she has a tendency to date awful men. Her last boyfriend killed one of her pets and it was a 10-year relationship of emotional and physical abuse. I met her after she ended that relationship and was doing things to be healthier emotionally. We grew extremely close. She started dating again, once again to someone who is unsavory, to say the least. During the two year ordeal, he had cheated on her multiple times, became a felon for responding to a craigslist personals ad posted by a minor, and refused to get a job or stay in school. I tried being her shoulder to cry on as long as I could, but every time I tell her he's a scumbag, she tells me I'm being judgmental and not respectful of her life choices. She says I embarrass her when I become critical. And it's not like I was judgmental at the start. I was supportive. But after two years of this crap, I'm not going to have nice things to say anymore. What's worse is that she thinks it's okay to vent to me about whatever horrible thing he got himself into this time, yet doesn't wanna do anything about it. I'm really exhausted of listening, because I don't care anymore. She interprets this as a lack of caring and friendship on my end. I don't know what to do. I tried having empathy. I know about the cycle of power and abuse. I really don't want to have to cut off contact with someone who I once shared my heart with, but I'm starting to go nuts. My emotional well being is being affected. I want to be there for her, but I can't. She accuses me that I'm not there for her anymore. It's frustrating. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: My[23M] GF[22F] is basically homeless. GF wants me to get an apartment with her POST: Me = 23M, GF = 22F My girlfriends dad is verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Two days ago they both had enough of his shit and left the house without anywhere to go. I live with my parents and my GF slept on our couch last nigh, b I'm not sure how much longer my mom will let her stay here. My GF wants us to get an apartment and move in ASAP(next week). While I have been wanting to move out for awhile I feel like doing it under these circumstances isn't the proper thing to do. I never talked to my parents about moving out so I feel like if I just randomly drop the bomb that I'm moving they will think it is only due to my GF's issues and hold a grudge. I really don't want my GF to go homeless, but I a not really sure if I am ready to just move out in a whim. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: Looking for friends to lose weight with POST: Last year I got sick of being lazy and fat and decided it was time to lose weight. Weighing more than 140 kg (310 lbs) and almost no exercise was doing a number on me and was giving me back and joint pains. At 27 I was feeling like an old man who got out of breath from walking up the stairs So when I finally got my act together I lost 25 kg (50 lbs) over 6 months by tracking my diet on myfitnesspal.com and trying to work out an hour a day (a combination of weights and cardio). I was so proud of myself when I got below 120 kg. But then bbq season hit and I got sloppy. Eventually I quit working out and stopped tracking my calories. Six months later, I gained back 15 kg (30 lbs) and was back up to 130 kg. This made me feel like an idiot. Especially when I think about how much work it was to lose those that weight. Today I am well on my way back. I have lost 9 kg (18 lbs) this month I work out again and people already start noticing. However, I could use some extra motivation so I am looking for some people who can motivate me and who I can motivate on [myfitnesspal.com] I tried looking for some motivation on the mfp forums but I am not looking for just a "well done" reaction to every post. So if you feel like you could use some motivation and you think you can help me stay motivated please feel free to add me on [myfitnesspal.com]( TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by starting a grease fire and almost burning down my house POST: This morning I was hungry, so I decided to make hotdogs in the toaster oven. I popped those 100% beef babies in there and fired her up! As usual, I knew it would take a while to cook so I left the room. About 5 minutes later I hear, "FIRE! FIRE!" coming from the kitchen. It was my mother who just happened to pass through the kitchen on her way out the door for work. I get up from my computer and run into the kitchen to see the toaster oven blazing up! It took about 4 minutes for us to put the fire out and now the whole house is filled with smoke. On the plus side, my hotdogs were nearly perfect with only a few burned spots. I ate them, they were delicious... TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Does ability cause responsibility? Philosophers and Logical thinkers wanted... POST: I think responsibility is two-fold, I believe you can only be responsible for something if you have elements of control over outcomes through your choices, and if you choose to accept said responsibility. (E.g. you accept responsibility of cleaning toilets by becoming a toilet cleaner) However, saying a man who rejects his responsibility to help others, and lets a baby drowning die, is not responsible seems intuitively wrong. if you reject your responsibility, are you no longer responsible? And on the other hand, removing responsibility acceptance and saying ability alone causes responsibility seems wrong also...I can't accept that because a person has e.g. wealth, they have a responsibility to all others who need money. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and reasoning. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU By making a funny username for mates to LOL at. POST: SO 6 years ago, when I was 14 my hotmail account got hacked and I decided that I would do a net reset where I make a new email i.e. the Oldschool "firstname_secondname" variety. So naturally made a youtube account and everything with his email. Now back in the day youtube used to run with usernames then when google bought them over they wanted to do away with it and made you change to your name. I ignored all of it kept my funnily named user name (funny at the time) "mmmBlueWaffle". FAST forward 6 years I'm in a training room with 7 others one of them one of my brand new managers. It turns out my job enjoys using Google+ for their employees cause it must be totes amaze baws! We all had to submit our emails at the start and I gave mine. He has the the projector on and was entering all our emails just shouting out to confirm. Obviously he shouts out a bunch of normal names and then "I have someone under the name of... mmmBlueWaffle?" with my email standing proud under that hilarious username. I said "haha that's mine :S just an inside joke with my mates" manager had no clue. My co-workers on the other hand were like " what a fucking weirdo", "perv" under their breath so basically the whole staff kind think I'm a fucking weirdo because of a stupid username I picked when I was 14. So yeah moral of the story make a new email for work and not the one you use all the time. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by sneezing, having my period, and crapping my pants at work... POST: I'm on the last day of my period and it has been a particularly heavy and crampy period due to my new dosage of birth control. I'm at work and I feel some cramping and I'm thinking its just weird cramps and that I might have to change my tampon if the cramps are indicating I'm about to get a heavy flow (girls will understand this!). The pain subsides and I feel nothing so I carry on my way editing away at my computer. All of a sudden I get a sharp pain in my abdomen that nearly makes me pass out. They felt like bad period cramps again. It then dawned on me that these were not period pains, these were shit pains from deep within the darkest depths of my bowel. Full on clench checks and waddle your ass to the bathroom and hope no one is in there shit pains. I start running to the bathroom and as soon as I get in it smelled like someone decided to spray an entire gallon of perfume in the bathroom and I sneezed. Hard. A little poop came out and the look on my face was mortifying. Thank god I still had a pad on for extra protection and it acted as a shit diaper instead of a shedding uterus catcher. I'm now about to write to Kotex and thank them for their alternate use of a pad as an adult diaper. I'm now at my desk happy I didn't have to run home and change since I live 55 miles from work. I still feel gross though. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My bf(M27) is unemployed but not doing much about it. POST: My boyfriend of almost 4 years has lost his job in February and since then has had no stable income. We have had to move back to my mothers house which is stressing me out to the moon and back due to her hoarding and the house being an hour away from the city. I'm 22F and still studying but also taking any and all temp jobs just to get some income. My boyfriend seems to literally not do anything - he checks LinkedIn for jobs every couple of days and occasionally sweeps the bedroom floor (he cooks dinner every couple of days which is a plus though) but other than that he is just sitting in front of his computer playing games. I think he is completely demotivated due to lack of work/income but he doesn't seem to be doing anything about it, saying he will start really checking for jobs tomorrow/on Monday/next week or whatever. How can I motivate him to work harder on finding a job, especially because he is rigid about his salary and won't take a job 'beneath him'. I am struggling and stressing here and need him to step up. Any advice how to gently push him to work harder on finding a job without making him feel like less of a man? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: All you hot girls: Why? POST: So we all know lip biting is sexy, and makes you look like a sexy. You know it, and we know that you know it. Today I had a 6 hour seminar. I'm on stage the whole day exept some short breaks, and a lunch. At the first row, dead center, there's this really hot girl. She is smiling, looking me straight in the eye, and biting her lip the ENTIRE FUCKING day. Constantly correcting her (smart, but sexy as hell) outfit, tracing the outline of her skirt and top with her fingers. For the slow ones: A hot girl looking me in the eye, while running her fingers down the v-neck top and biting her lip when I'm already high on my self for being a boss on the stage makes me, in lack of a better term: HORNY AS FUCK! Come break time she sits in the corner, looking miserable, not talking to any one, while I'm harassed by self important neckbeards (male and female(!?!)) competing for the "Most quazi intellectual question of the year award". During lunch she's nowhere to be seen. After the seminar is over she comes up to the stage, says "Thanx, that was great!" Smiles.. Again.. Bites her lip.. Again. Winks at me. Looks me in the eye for two seconds, picks her stuff up and is the first out the fucking door! Why the hell? Why do you girls do shit like that? Is it an experiment? Are you trying to distract us? Was she trying to kill me by giving me a 6 hour boner? What is this? Seriously? [Not really relevant, but it'll be the first comment, so I'll link it myself]( *EDIT TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [19F] dad [60'sM] will say or do anything to purposefully upset me because he knows that it will upset my mom. POST: Straight off the bat, here's a sentence, word for word, what he said to me: "I'll do whatever it takes to upset your mother even if that includes hurting you." My parents separated just over three years ago and my dad is still very salty about it. He's always been aggressive (yet he denies it) and abusive and when he didn't change, my mom and I decided to get ourselves out of that situation. Mom was picky about where we were moving to because she didn't want to end up putting me in a bad house/neighbourhood. So my dad cracked a fit and said that we were taking too long to leave (3 weeks) and left. He's living with my grandma because he doesn't want to get government assistance to rent his own house and he hates it. Onto the good stuff I guess. - He recently rekindled his relationship with his ex wife (the wife before my mother) and has told me that he's leaving everything in his will to her. - Tells me that his ex wife is more important than his own daughter and has openly admitted that he would drop his plans with me to see her (when I don't see him enough as it is). - Refused to come to my graduation because my mom would be there (in a room of 600+ people, he wouldn't have even bumped into her). - Bails on me for his ex wife. - Whenever we speak on the phone he always has something to say about my mom. This usually ends up in fights because I tell him that I don't want to hear it. When I saw him the other day things got heated and he got angry. I asked him if I were to marry my boyfriend, would he be at the wedding and without even thinking about it, he said no. All because of my mother. He acts like a child and I'm sick of having to deal with his outbursts when he brings up my mom. I feel like he's doing all of this so that I'll start hating her and I'm not really sure what to do about it. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: Tifu messed up a date POST: Okay. so I had a crush on this girl in my school once. But was to shy to say anything. But she made the move on me one day and asked me out on a date. We started talking a lot and found we both had a lot of similar interests. We saw each other every day and became really good friends. Next thing I know she invites me over. I wanted to be nice and bough some snacks since she wanted to watch a movie so the clever guy I was I bought a bag of peanuts and brought it in a plastic bag to make it make less noise while we watched the movie. Her parents weren't home. We started to watch the movie and proceeded to cuddle. We get really close to each other. I open my peanut bag a bit so I could have easy access to my snacks, later on(don't know what I was thinking should have opened it right away) and she was leaning in close on me preparing to kiss me. When suddenly. Bam.she starts to vomit all over my mouth and I get disgusted and vomit at her. I have no idea what's happening and with half choking breath she says she's allergic to peanuts. I panic and start to scream as she vomits some more. I call 911 and tell them to come over right away and she's crying. She tells me through a very tiny voice there are allergy medicine in her bag. Today I still don't know why she didn't tell me this earlier. We went to the hospital and her parents came and started yelling at me. After that I never saw them again and felt like a massive dick. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Really tough situation. Don't know what to do. Please help :( POST: This is kind of long, and making me sick thinking about, but I really don't know what to do. Background: In february, my girlfriend of about 2 years visited her friend at another college. She got very drunk and somehow ended up sleeping in the house of her ex (we had a year long break between the 2 years).. She claimed nothing happened and was very sorry about it and it obviously caused a big problem between us. Since then, we have moved forward and even got an apartment together for next year at school. We have been talking about getting married for a long time and are very serious. I am close with her family and always help them out. Last week: The ex texted her claiming that in February when she was there, they made out and he fingered her. She had no recollection but believes it to be true. Obviously, I blew up and was angrier than ever. I went over to her house and she was in hysterics. She cried so hard she gave herself a panic attack. She told me to hit her, do anything just to somehow make it better (which I didn't do). In the back of my mind, if we didn't already have an apartment, I probably would have walked away and never spoken to her again; but I chose to try to make it work because of the complication. We really love eachother, but it is impossible to get this cheating out of my head. On top of all that, the ex works in the same place as me and I see him from time to time. It has taken everything not to destroy him. How do I deal with this? I honestly want to save the relationship, and I see (saw) myself spending my life with her, but these bad thoughts keep coming back. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, what do you think/do when you see your ex with a loser? POST: I recently broke up with a girl and still have her and her roommates as Facebook friends. Her roommate posted a pic of my ex and she was with a guy who, based on his facebook profile, looks like a real winner. Even though I broke up with her because she was extremely attached and bi-polar, I still want her to be with a decent guy. She has tried to be super friendly to me (and I've been nice to her) since we broke up and she tries to talk to me every Tuesday and Thursday (We have a Lit class together). She also told me a story of how she was in a potentially awful wreck last month with a guy who was driving her drunk as hell, and I'm pretty sure this is the same guy. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Why don't I [19/F] like to kiss my [21/M] boyfriend of about a month? Please help. POST: I've been seeing my current boyfriend for about 2 months, but we've only been dating for one. I really like him, he's a great guy... I just get so grossed out when he kisses me. I don't really like the technique (too much tongue) but I just feel like it's more than that. I don't get that dizzying electric feeling like I've had with other guys. I'm scared that this is going to come between us, and I've already tried to tell him that I would rather have him use less tongue. He told me that he was just teaching me a better way to kiss and that was that. (He's very considerate and thoughtful otherwise.) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 M] with my SO [22 F] 11 months, Breaking up due to a lack of mental stimulation. POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year, whom I have fallen in love with. She is a great girl in many ways but I have come to realize that she lacks depth (in the nicest way possible). She doesn't have opinions on very many things and isn't able to mentally stimulate me as much as I would like. I've tried to engage her in thoughtful conversations, but she often replies with "ermm I don't know...", which frustrates me to no end. I really value being able to talk about anything and everything, from sports to politics. I guess I am writing this because I am hoping maybe you guys can negate this problem of mine. We are almost compatible in every way except for being on different levels of thinking. I still enjoy my time with her and I am still happy, but I am frankly starting to get bored. This is only my second relationship and I am unsure if this is just how a relationship is (give and take). So I was hoping you guys may counsel me. It hurts to think about it, but I feel more inclined to break up as time goes by. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Reconnected: advice on repeat encounters with a guy... POST: 22f 26m *no relationship So back in September I went on a date with a guy which was great but basically turned into one night stand first date. Never heard from him, the end, although I never stopped thinking about him because I actually quite liked him. 9 months later, he found me on Facebook, added me and we started talking. Apparently he moved for a job about three weeks after we met and he had lost my number. Well, he's come to my current city for a family visit and we got together, had a fun drink, ended up in bed again (amazing chemistry like before) and had some fabulous cuddles all night and in the morning. I'm laying next to him right now. Plot twist: I got a job in the city he lives in, so will be moving there in August. I'm not sure what to think. Am I a booty call? I don't think so but smarter people have been made fools. And when I told him about the job he was excited and gave me a hug. I really could use some outside thoughts. Men, can you explain this? Also, I really like him, so I don't want to be crazy or anything. Advice on how to pursue this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24 M] with my 24 [24 M] 8 months, uncomfortable about my roommate and BF hanging out. POST: So, long story short, my boyfriend Neil slept with my roommate John 3 weeks after Neil and I broke up (lasted for a month, we both learned a lot, and decided to try building the relationship again), claiming he was in despair and had little hope that we'd ever get back together. Naturally, I was very upset with the news, as my roommate lied by omission by saying nothing about it during the month that Neil and I were separated, which I felt was a huge disrespect to me. Now that we're back together, I've made it clear that I don't feel comfortable with them hanging out one on one, and they've agreed to not do so until things become less tense (and to be perfectly honest, I'll ever be comfortable with it). My issue currently though, is that I get uncomfortable whenever it's just us three in the apartment; where Neil and John are talking and laughing together while I feel tense and awkward. What should I do to address the the matter without looking like a possessive, paranoid control freak? I've set boundaries already, but it seems like I may need advice; help me please. :( TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 F] with my no idea what we are doing [30 M] he keeps contacting me even though he said he didn't want to date anymore.. POST: I have written about this before.. so i was dating this guy for about 5 months. first few months were great, thought we were moving towards becoming exclusive; then he told me he was moving out of state and wanted to focus on his business. It was a bit of a shock, but we still continued to talk despite the advice I was given. I did try to end it, but I caved and we continued to see/talk to one another. Then a few weeks ago I decided to end it for real. I wasn't mad at him. But I told him that we both wanted different things- me something serious and I stuck around for so long to try and make that happen. His response was "ok if that's what you want", then proceeded to agree saying he was really busy right now, and too busy for a personal life ATM. However, he still continues to text me a few days throughout the week- mostly its stuff about what he is working on, even including pictures. He will tell me about how stressed he is about work and money, occasionally he will be flirtatious with me. Its incredibly confusing. I have asked him a couple of times, but 95% of the time he has contacted me. I don't understand what he wants from me, especially since he said he was too busy for a personal life. This is stuff you talk to your GF about. I don't want to be mean, and i do care about him (and I would never say this to him) but why doesn't he talk to him friends/family about this stuff?? what does he want from me?? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [20 M] girlfriend [20 F] never shows physical affection, often shies away from kissing and it makes me feel undesired POST: We've been dating for about 3 months, neither of us being far too experienced with relationships (we both have had one relationship before ours). I think one of the main problems is that we are both very shy, but she has never initiated a kiss or sex with me. She hardly ever even touches me and it kind of makes me feel unwanted. I'm just not sure how to voice my concerns to her. When I do kiss her, she sometimes kisses back for a while but then shies away as if she's not interested. She has no problem letting me know how she feels about me over text, but when we're in person, everything just seems far too platonic. It makes me unsure of what she wants, so I end up doing nothing and it just seems like a huge barrier for us. I told her I loved her for the first time a few weeks ago as I was leaving and wasn't met with the same words. She assured me over text that she was just surprised and couldn't get the words out, but that she felt the same. She still hasn't said it though. IDK if I'm posting a proper question or even on the right sub, I just wanted to talk to some people about how I was feeling and try to figure out what I should say to her. Hope this is okay. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [19 M] with my Coworker [19 M] might like the same girl [19 F], don't know what to do. POST: Got my first job 7 months ago. Was just going through life day by day until my 3rd month in or so, someone (we'll call him Ted) got hired through recommendation of a mutual friend of ours. A month or so after, we begin talking to each other at work to find we have a lot of common interests (one of them being video games). We begin talking a lot at work and after work while playing games while using Skype. We start to become very good friends and start spending the night at each others' houses. I was a bit of a clam in middle + high school, so finding someone my age with similar interests who is easy to bond with felt good. Two or so months ago a girl got hired to our work that was our age. A very good looking girl who I admired immediately got hired and began working there. After a couple of weeks the girl and I made plans to canoe / kayak down the river with each other. She seemed pretty excited as was I and it felt like a date. I told Ted about the good news and my feelings for the girl (at this point we feel like pretty good friends and he seems trustworthy). He seemed to have no interest in her until a month ago when I left for a family reunion which caused me to leave for a week. While gone, I open a Snap Chat from Ted of the two of them sitting in his car on the beach with the caption "You wish you were cool like us ;)" I assume this was to all of his friends and he probably didn't mean to send it to me. It made me feel bad, but I brushed it off and when I returned home there didn't seem to be any indications of a relationship between the two of them. Last week though, on a outing with friends from work, they were very close to each other and seemed to ignore everyone else but each other. I feel like something happened while I was gone and feel betrayed by Ted. Should I ignore it, or confront him? Find different friends? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge TITLE: My mother's gentleman caller. POST: This isn't my story; it's my grandmother's. The Story... Long ago, before my birth, my parents were in high school and dating. This meant frequent phone calls. So, my grandmother used to work nights at a hospital. She still does, but she used to, too. She needed sleep during odd hours. The frequent calls were keeping her awake, so my grandmother purchased a second phone line just for my mother. She made a fine point to let my father know to call only my mother's line, and that he was to never call on their main number under any circumstances. Well, naturally, lovers will be lovers. If my mother happened to be asleep or not home and did not pick up, what did my father do? Yup. He called the main line anyway, explaining that he very urgently wished to speak with my mother. My grandmother would be woken up from a dead sleep and chew him out for it every time, but to no avail; it just kept happening. The Revenge... My grandmother, on her smoke breaks at the hospital, would call my father's house up repeatedly at 3 AM and say nothing. Like a creeper, she'd call and wait and listen to them ask who it is until they hung up. She did this every time my father called her main line during the day. She says she doesn't think he ever figured out it was her. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: My second cousin... POST: I am a 15 year old rising junior who has a crush on my second cousin. I rarely see her and in between each time I try to forget about her. It's worked in the past but now that I'm older (hormones and all that good stuff) it's really hard. She's on my mind all the time now, and it really hurts that the chances of this turning out favourably are close to zero. Problems include: relationship- we are second cousins after all. Age-she is 19. Location(location,location)- I'm in CA but she's in NY. Attitude- her brother is 16, and even though I am really mature, (I know this statement might be hard to believe since I've heard it from so many people who definitely aren't)she probably thinks of me as a little kid because her brother is the pretty much the same age. I recently saw her again at a wedding of our second uncle(is that a thing? Our mothers' cousin) and we hung out and went bowling. It was all good fun. This was in a city in CA. Later, we met up again in my home city, also in CA. She and her family who are visiting from Asia went on to a national park, but they will be stopping by July 12th before heading to their home in Asia. We texted a little before as she was going to the national park and I'm not sure if I made it obvious or not that I like her. I really don't know what to do. I've told a few close friends but I want to get it off my chest to her, because /r/offmychest is not going to cut it. I want to tell her right before she leaves because I am too chicken to deal with her reaction ftf. That would be fine if I won't see her again for a long time, but I might see her again (80%) at another wedding in September and it might be awkward there. I really don't know what the best course of action is. This may not be as deep or important as some of the other posts here and may seem trivial but it I'm still looking for advice :/ TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [22/m] My girlfriend (21/f) has been texting another guy sexual things. POST: This guy that my girlfriend (of over a year) is friends with told her he had feelings for her. I told her not to talk to him anymore which she said she would soon (after talking to him about it I guess). I saw her texts a few days later. For the most part it was her saying that she wants to be with him but doesn't want to lose me or hurt me. A couple of these texts were sexual. I took my stuff and left. When she found out I was gone she called me crying. She said she was just telling him what he wants to hear and that when she was with him in person she always felt guilty and awkward. At most, from what I can tell, he tried to hold her hand briefly and she didn't exactly resist. He tried to make sexual advances on her but she always denied him, which was supported by her texts. She said she was a bit confused on whether or not she liked him but she always knew I was more important to her. She said that the night I left, she told him that she can't talk to him anymore before she even knew I left. She keeps telling me she is so sorry and that she knows she messed up. She says that she has a problem with going too far with texts in telling guys what they want to hear. In my experience I think I believe her on that. She says she will do anything to make it up to me and regain my trust. She keeps saying that I can just have her phone because I am more important to her than talking to anyone else at all. It has been a couple days since I left. I love her and I miss her but I don't know if I can truly trust her again. Right now in my life I am extremely busy with work and school. This weekend when it escalated to that point I was busy for four days straight and saw her for maybe a total of an hour. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Client hitting on me knowing I'm in a relationship with someone POST: I'm a massage therapist and I had a client recently hit on me. During the massage we were talking and I mentioned I have a boyfriend. A few days later my boss texts him asking how the massage went. He thought she was me and asked me out. She let me read over the texts and he mentioned he knew I was dating someone but we could still go out anyway. Me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) haven't been dating long but we've been best friends for five years. I would never go after another man but I also don't want to lose a client. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [21F] need advice about dating with mental illness POST: My [21F] boyfriend [21M] and I have been dating for a year and a half. He's known from the start that I've been struggling with anxiety and depression. He does a great job dealing with my mental illness, always being there to calm me down during anxiety attacks and reminding me to take my medication. However, recently it's been getting a lot worse and I can feel myself pulling away. Not just from our relationship but in general (family, friends, etc). I can tell he's upset about the distance it's caused in our relationship. I do often try to be upbeat and loving but I think we can both tell that it's fake and it drains me a lot. I'm afraid he'll grow tired of dealing with me and decide to leave. He always reassures me he's not going to but I can't help feeling anxious, which strains our relationship more. I know that this is completely me being selfish and not being able to properly handle my mental health situation. I just want to make sure he's not going through all this for me feeling unloved and unappreciated. Frankly, I have just recently been really too tired and empty (I don't really know how to describe it) to really put forth as much effort as I should. I'm sure it'll pass in the months to come but for now can anyone who's dealt with their partner suffering from mood disorders tell me how I should make sure he knows he's loved and appreciated? In a way where I won't have to be unauthentic in my actions – like what did you need to hear from your SOs or what did you need them to do for you. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [21/M] will move to my LDR girlfriend [24/F] apartment. She is at least upper middle class and Im lower middle class. POST: I met my girlfriend 1 year ago. We decided that I will be moving to her apartment (I live in Live Oak and she lives in Miami). Im the one moving for various reasons. We always talked about money without any problem. I always told her about the problems my family had with money and she always told me about things she bought (that I couldnt afford or I just wouldnt buy because I dont have spare money) or travels she made (and I dont mean like trying to show off) and it never was a problem, I always get happy for her. But it also makes me feel bad when she gifts me something or I feel like sometimes she isnt able to do stuff because I cant afford it. Also Im scared it may become a problem that she belongs to a higher social class than me (not because it makes me feel insecure about myself). For example its her apartment so technically she could just kick me out of the apartment any day or Im scared that I will feel preasured to do whatever she wants because its her apartment (something like my house my rules). TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: The Struggle: Finding guys who appreciate my goofy sense of humor [29/F] POST: I'm frustrated and would love some insight. Background: I'm 29, attractive, tall, fun, passionate, intelligent, ethically and morally grounded, educated at a graduate level and I don't take myself too seriously. I'm also a pretty traditional woman, though I think progressively and can understand both sides of an argument. I am over dating, I'd love to find my "someone". However, 90% of the guys I meet only like certain parts of my dynamic personality. For some, it's my appearance and traditional femininity. For others, it's my intelligence, mental sparing and adventurous energy. However, the struggle comes once these attributes combine with my sense of humor. I'm naturally goofy and fun-loving, but I've been told that "I should be more serious", and "stop being so goofy", and "your demeanor is not very sexy". It hurts. I hate masking a part of who I am in order to appease who I am with. I'd love someone who appreciates all the facets of my personality. I don't understand why someone would want seriousness all the time (and I can be serious when necessary, I just prefer to laugh). I'm very well aware that my sample size is small (especially given my region). But I'd love to hear from some of the guys here. Is a woman with a fun-loving personality really a huge turnoff? Thank you! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [22F] and my unclear relationship with [24M], a platonic friend/unavailable dude/unrequited crush. POST: 22F likes 24M who is geographically unavailable. They used to spend a lot of time together, when they were in the same location, but he never made a move, and she did not act on her feelings. She semi admitted feelings once, the last time they saw each other, and he now says things of sometimes friendly, sometimes incredibly ROMANTIC, and sometimes hilariously sexual nature when they talk, which is daily. What is her move? ALL responses welcome. (i.e., he's been begging you to visit, so just do it, or, you're an ego boost for him, just move on, etc.) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [22M] like my girlfriend [20F] so much, but sometimes I wish she'd be mad at me. POST: My girlfriend is one of those girls you wish you always had. She's so patient, honest, intelligent and loves me so much. We know each other since primary school but went different paths and met again 11 years later. We're together for almost 2 years now. She is beautiful, we laugh a lot, cry together but never argue although I can get on people's nerves really bad. She really is an ocean of patience. It sometimes seems like she's too good to be true. Her family is very supportive too, it's almost scary sometimes. It sometimes feels like I'm "in a relationship" with her mother and dad and I have a hard time explaining this to her. For example, they let me drive their car whenever I want, take me to every of their family birthdays, take me on holidays, send me e-mails how I'm doing, give me expensive birthday presents. Involved parents are nice but I guess it shouldn't be like this. It's our relationship, right? Not theirs. I know she's young and I am too and I have told her that we should both take our own directions whenever we feel like we should. Well here's the thing; I just like other women so much, I just like women in general a lot. Whenever I go out I meet lots of other women (whenever I'm on xtc) and love their attention to me. I do tell my girlfriend I meet these women and she's totally fine with it. Or not? Do I want her to be mad at me? Do I want her to tell me how she hates me going out and meet other women, caress them, kiss them on their cheeks and feel like I'm in heaven? I like her so much. I'm confused. English is not my native language, thanks for reading though. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: NSV: Got back on the wagon. POST: Background: 5'4, SW 160 CW 152 GW 120 I've been tracking for nearly a month now and already lost a few pounds, and although I've enjoyed my initial success I've just sort of assumed in the back of my head that I would diet hard core for a few weeks and then taper off, because that's what I usually do and that's what the statistics say will happen. So when my PMS caused me to have some crazy cravings earlier this week and I ate tons of pasta, cereal, cookies, ect, I figured it was the beginning of the end. But seeing all my newfound friends on MFP and the success stories here have really made me think about this more as a journey, and enabled me to not flip out after a couple of days of being over my calorie count or not working out. I kept tracking through the worst of it, and the past two days I've been back on track, which would have never happened in my previous attempts to lose weight. I'm still cautiously optimistic- 8 lb lost does not a full 40 lb make, but the ability to weather through rough patches and not give up gives me hope that I can do this and fully enjoy my twenties by being gorgeous and skinny and healthy :) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I had to trespass what I thought was a homeless guy at my work POST: I had to trespass a guy from my work today. Hes been asking every customer for money so he could buy "food". Normally I dont care, homeless or not ask whomever but he was bothering several customers and I told him to leave several times. He kept coming back. Every time he would come in and buy beer and then ask people for change. Finally Im outside, and someone gives him money and he looks right at me with disdain in his eyes and says as he walks away "Im gonna buy a beer". Like he was putting it in my face that I couldnt do anything. Daring me. So I called the cops and had him trespassed. Cop says, "You have to say to his face he is being trespassed" so I do. As they are still there, a woman comes in, "Im his mother. What happened?". Of course my speech impediment decides to take over, "He... I.. hes been harassing my customers". She said, "Harassing how?". My speech still stuttering, "Hes been asking people for money stating its for food but buying beer". She turns around and starts yelling at this (probably 40 something year old) man, "You dont need to be drinking or coming here anymore", she turns to the cop and opens up her robe, flashing him and saying, "Im a survivor of breast cancer, he doesnt need to be drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco". She told him to, "You have grand-babies in New Jersey" ... "Get in the car!". "Ill walk, its ok". "No! You get in the car!" she yelled. An old man who has grandchildren was told by his mother to get in her car like a young child. The whole time he was saying "I'm sorry, Daniel". TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Moving in with a good friend of mine, afraid if we have sex might lead to some bummer times. POST: (18/M) I'm moving up to Portland to go to school and I'm moving in with a great friend of mine (18/F) that has lived there for a few months. She was gay for all of high school but now she is bisexual and has talked to me about sleeping with a few guys. We havn't talked about it but I'm kinda afraid that once I move in eventually we'll end up having sex just to have sex. I mean, we'll be sharing the same bed everyday. I just don't know if I should say I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND. or if I should let things fall how they may and try to not let anything get out of hand emotionally. any advise is greatly appreciated! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: a small library in my house. need e-reader advice, please. POST: hi all other kids played sports, i hung out around books as a kid. now in my house i have a small library. in short, i love it but i'm running out of room for books. looking like time to transition to a e-reader. my wife wants to buy me one for Christmas. r/lit, could you recommend one to me? a little fact: i love the tactile feel of books, i like to see them on the shelves, and (horrific to some) i love to draw margin illustrations and write my own footnotes... i buy about 20-30 non-fiction books a year. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [27/F] In love with a married man POST: I recently came back from a long trip with various colleagues from across the world (whom I had never met). The day I introduced myself to him..it was like time stood still. I've never had that feeling meeting someone before, and it threw me off. I texted him first, and we talked about all types of things (reddit included!), but when I went home that weekend for a quick trip, I found myself missing him incredibly, and couldn't wait to get back to see him. Over the next six weeks, we grew close..sleeping together, spending nights watching stupid things on Netflix, he even took me to the hospital and waited till 2:30am with me one night when I was really sick. We talked about his wife, and he said that she was unsupportive of his work, she had no friends, and that she wasn't the same person when they met. I didn't judge or provide biased advice at all, I let him vent when he needed to. It was pretty clear one day that I knew how I felt, and I told him...he felt the same way. We dreaded the day we had to say goodbye. We talked nightly about how we could let each other walk away knowing how we felt. Lots of tears were shed. Saying goodbye to him was easily the hardest thing I've had to do, and I can't believe how empty I feel back home knowing he's so far away from me, and he says he feels that way back too. He says he wants to try to fix things at home, but that even since being back..he doesn't feel the same way about her as he once did. Reddit, what do I do? Im torn between just letting him be and letting him figure things out on his own (with the potential of him saying he chooses her), and just buying him a plane ticket and being forward about how serious I am about being with him. Any advice is welcome. Im really hurting right now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Worried my [17F] boyfriend [23M] could still be into his ex? Overall feeling of insecurity POST: Okay, so me and my boyfriend met by chance, and me thinking he was 19-ish, and him thinking I was 18-ish, we started chatting regardless of age, and even after we found out, we started to get on like a house on fire, and now, we have been together for almost 6 months. He's an amazing guy, honestly lovely and mature, and we get on so well, not caring for age difference. And obviously, when we were getting to know eachother we found out about eachother's exs, and with him being older, he has had a lot more girlfriends. He is my first proper boyfriend, as I am not that outgoing when it comes to guys, however, he has had quite a few long term gfs. My issue is that one of the exs, 'Laura', I had heard a bit about- he split with her because she wanted an open relationship. She's blonde, really pretty, and is an amazing artist and animator. He has many bookmarks saved for her, and seems to be his most memorable girlfriend. I am stressed because if he finished with her cause she wanted an open relationship, he must still find her attractive and talented, if you know what I mean? I have had terrible self esteem issues since I was a kid, and still do, and 'Laura' still gnaws on my mind. I just feel inadequate- he tells me he loves me everyday and treats me like a darn princess, has said that 'Laura' is long in the past, but I just can't help but feel like an inferior child to her. I mean I'm not ugly, I'm not boring, I just feel like a downgrade to her. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (19M) fiancé (18F) of 2 years just got done with Army Basic Training. She's acting weird, and it's worrying me. POST: Like I said in the title, my girlfriend has been acting really weird. And it's starting to bother me. Before she left, she was always ready to go. Sexually, I mean. But now, she says that she doesn't know if she wants to have sex or not. Being a horny 19 year old guy who just waited 3 months for her to get done, it's really starting to get to me. It was okay the first week. I figured things were just a bit awkward between us. But then the weeks went on, and she still doesn't want me. At all. She won't let me kiss her or foreplay with her. All we do is cuddle and watch Netflix. And then I started to get self conscious. So I started to shower more, take her out more, and pay more attention to her in a loving way. But none of that has worked and its almost been a month. That's not all, though. Before we parted for her Basic Training, we made promises to each other. Like me quitting chew, and the way we felt about each other not changing. One of the promises we made was that I'd save up money for the wedding, and I'd pay for half of the wedding and we would get married so that way the Army could support us in the way of BaH. (Money given each month to pay for housing). But when I asked her about it, she said she doesn't want to get married yet. She wants to wait. Because she wants "a friend" right now. All of this is killing me. I can barely get through my day at work without thinking about it. No, obsessing about it. Am I crazy, or has she fallen out of love with me? Is there maybe another guy? And if so, what do I do, guys? I'm scared. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [22/F] can't seem to let go of my ex [26/M]. POST: We broke up in February, that's six months ago. I'm a bit concerned with how I have been dealing with it. I've gone through the stages of grief, taken care of myself physically and dated other people since our break up. But every single day I find myself thinking about him. I loved him more than I've ever felt for anyone before. Just watching his movements and the way he was in general was like watching my favorite movie for the first time, every day. I'd say it was my real first heart break. We were only together for 10 months which is also why I don't know why it's such a big deal to me. We have absolutely no contact with each other at all anymore, not even facebook, and I still get sad about it. I relive our break up in my dreams at least once a week or I dream that we get back together and I wake up feeling drained emotionally. I really feel that if he didn't pop up in my dreams I wouldn't be dealing with this, but he does. And it's always incredibly painful dreams. I don't know what to do, and my mind won't let me forget the heartbreak. :( TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice TITLE: Ladies, how do you feel about this approach in getting acquainted? POST: the story: a while ago my friend, say, Jake went to a university social club dinner and met a bunch of people. Jake texted me, and we were going to hang out with at his dorm after dinner, so I had to drive and pick him up. Two other people from that dinner, which Jake met for the first time also lived in the general direction, so Jake offered them a ride and I was okay with it. One of them was a guy and other girl named Jane. We all sat in the car and had some conversation, and I thought Jane was pretty cute. I dropped them off one at a time, but didn't get Jane's contact since it was kinda brief and I thought it was too weird to ask, but now it seems like I've missed out on the opportunity to get to know her. Jake added her on facebook after the event,I didn't, and now it would be too weird because too much time, like half a year, has passed. I told Jake that i'm interested in meeting her and he's willing to help, but he doesn't really talk to her much either, so now we're both stuck on trying to find a less creepy approach to suddenly call her out of the blue. Here are two approaches I had in mind, even though I had never really experimented with them 1. Jake can tell her that I'm interested in meeting her, even though this is like super straight forward and could potentially be creepy, mind you though i'm generally not bad looking, and certainly dont come across as a creep 2. Jake can set up a dinner or something with all 3 of us together, though the approach again would be out of the blue, but it seems like there's no way to get around it. maybe go with 1? and try not to give a crap? Any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Perfect until it's done 23/m with 19/f POST: Hey Reddit, i need to know if I'm overthinking this or if I should make some sort of advance? Started talking with this beautiful female, in person she is extremely interested and keeps sending me all these signs of interest. So we start texting and it seems like she loses interest (stops replying randomly and minimal amount of contribution) I immediately set up a date so she can keep interest.. immediately we are making a lot of contact (holding hands, hands on her legs etc.) we go for pizza, we go back to my place, watch a movie, we have sex, we shower together, we sleep, i make her breakfast, go for a walk, chill for a couple hours and she leaves when she has to take care of a deadline errand. It was all cute, funny and relaxed, and seemed like it was going to work out smoothly. So that day ended, we texted fluidly until I went to work at night and told her to text me when I can give her a call... no reply. Next afternoon, i snapchat her and we snapchat a few times before i start texting her. boom dies off again, she's then replying every 2 hours or so.. Doesn't reply after 7pm at all. So today I called her in the morning left a voicemail just saying i missed her voice, call me later.. nothing. Text her and we are texting solid for about an hour and it falls out again, no reply for 3 hours... so thats where I'm at now, confused. I havent called her out on the late replies or anything, just casually roll with it. Am I over reacting and over thinking over this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: I (29m) feel like I'm losing my lady (26f) POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for about 11 months. We started off great and things have gotten pretty rocky. She got into some trouble with the law and lost her job. We began having financial problems and it started to affect us. She then became friends with a girl who completely hates me and is always filling her head with garbage to turn her against me. This girl is also completely obsessed with my girlfriend. My gf also did some other shady things that I consider unacceptable and I have told her this. She has adopted this idea that I am being contolling. I am in no way perfect, but I am a man who is faithful, and enjoys spending time with the one I love. In all honesty, I know I should break things off, but I really love the person that I fell in love with. With all that said, She has recently gotten a job, and is fighting her court battles. I was hoping that with the new job, we could get back on our feet and be happy again. Her friend is still in her ear constantly. I am not one to give ultimatums because I do want her to have her friends. It's just a very hard time for me, and I'm not really the best at talking to my friends about it because I don't really like to show them I'm hurting. Just asking for some advice, hopefully this will help. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by stepping on cement POST: This took place about a year ago when I was a senior in high school. After a long day of school and near to no sleep at all the previous night, I was relieved that it ended but I was really tired, being that my school is a 15 minute walk to my house, I always walked home from and to school. This day was different, as soon as I started walking my eyes kept closing and I was utterly exhausted. However, this was suddenly interrupted when my foot sunk into the ground. I was so confused but then I looked down at the newly set cement I just stepped in. I inspect my surroundings to see if anyone had witnessed it, and there they were, the two men that had set the cement enjoying their lunch until this kid had ruined their hard work. They were in shock and one of them shouted at me, "WHAT THE HELL DUDE ARE YOU BLIND!?" It was so loud that it woke me up and I felt sorry for them. I apologised to them and wanted to hand them money to make up for my mistake but the other guy just told me to get out of there, and so I took the walk of shame back to my house. The next day, I walked to school and there it was, my shoeprint engrained into the now hard concrete. I'd like to say that I have established my territory even further but those poor guys gave up because it was already about to set. And that ladies and gentlemen, is why I started to walk a different route to school since that incident. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Improving communication with passive aggressive SO [m/f both mid 20's, 1.5 year relationship] POST: My SO's culture discourages expressing anger or frustration. It's completely normal for people here to clam up and avoid the situation when they're angry. It's what he grew up with and what everyone around him does so I don't blame him for it. I want to find a way to communicate with him more effectively. He'll discuss relationship problems with me when I bring them up, say he's okay/not angry, but then ignore me. I've seen a little improvement here-- he used to ignore me for days but lately he's been ready to talk to me again after a day or so. He doesn't get mean but he goes completely NC and if we had any plans they're assumed canceled. I grew up in an unhealthy environment too so I work hard to communicate well... I use 'I' statements, don't raise my voice or insult him, etc. So I'm frustrated that he responds this way because I'm doing the best I can. I give him space when he's ignoring me but I'm not really okay with being ignored. I don't know how to proceed. We had a relationship talk yesterday afternoon and we were supposed to spend last night together and go shopping this morning but he hasn't contacted me at all. Does anyone have experience with a passive aggressive SO? How do you cope? Or if you were the passive aggressive SO, what did your partner do to help? Was it better for them to give you your space until you were ready to come to them, or was it better for them to maintain gentle contact (good morning, good night) until you were ready to talk? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining TITLE: Re-training puppy to tolerate nail trimming after being traumatized by a dog trainer POST: I have a Toy Fox Terrier mix who is about 4-5 months old. Since day one I have conditioned him not to mind getting his nails trimmed and he's done wonderfully up until recently. The trainer who teaches my dog training class used my puppy as a guinea pig to demonstrate her technique of trimming a dog's claws using a dremel tool. The whole time she was doing this, he was terrified. He hated it. When I said something during the process and I was told that all the puppies act like this when she does it and it's normal. Now he won't let me get close to his claws to trim them. He is still okay with people messing around with his feet, but if I start trying to trim his claws he freaks out and growls and snaps at me. Is there a way I can reverse what's been done? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [26 M] with my BF [31 M] of 1 year. Are comparisons inherently evil and destructive? POST: This is something I'm struggling with. I'm an engineer, and I have a very empirical, rational way of decision making. My partner is the polar opposite, and is so heavily driven by emotions. So much of my career and my general being is defined by comparisons, such as comparing two binary conditions to determine the best possible path to follow. I don't see all comparisons as evil (now I know that comparing yourself to others is often considered a bad thing to do), but my boyfriend does. He believes he is his own person on his own journey and should not be compared to anything. We are incredibly divided on this issue, especially when it comes to him going back and finishing his degree. He wants to get into a specialized Masters program for therapy, and the simplest, most rational comparison such as your achievements being compared to a graduation checklist is something he disagrees with, or saying that his formal academic path (what classes he needs to take, what programs he should consider, what requirements would be) would be similar to what my friends and coworkers have taken infuriates him. I don't get it! I don't see any emotion in these comparisons. You want to get a Masters in Family Therapy? Then your academic track will be similar to my friend who just got a Masters in Family Therapy. Your story may be different, but the requirements you must fulfill to be licensed will be very similar. That can be a resource for achieving your own success, so why not use it? I guess I see things so black and white that it's become problematic. Like, if I am hungry, then I eat food. That condition is satisfied. I can now proceed. I don't think about how this food will make me feel, etc. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: [23 M] Atheist; Romantic Interest (23 F) is Catholic. I'm Not sure She is Aware of This. (x-post to /r/Relationship_Advice) POST: There's a girl I have known for several years that I had always suspected may have a thing for me, but for a number of reasons I never paid it any mind. I actually like this girl, but I have a tendency to over-think people's interactions, so just wrote it off as friendliness. Jump ahead several years later, and she has been surprisingly...ubiquitous on my Facebook profile. She likes nearly all of my statuses (which are not many) and frequently comments. As a result of this behavior, I decided to start chatting with her. Long story short, things have been going pretty well, and she has been very responsive. The problem? I met her at Mass with another friend of mine all those years ago (I was religious at the time, but not Catholic). She's really great, and we seem to get along well. But...I feel like this whole atheism thing could throw a wrench in that. And that's fine if that's the case. However, I don't want to bring it up if it's not necessary, but I also don't want to put in all this effort only to leave her unwilling to even be a friend. I get enough of that in my daily life. What should I do? I should note that I am not particularly subtle about my atheism on Facebook, be it in status or on my profile. I realize, though, that doesn't mean much. I wanted to add that, personally, I am concerned these religious differences will compound and are going to affect what we both could have in common, presuming the relationship progresses to that point. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My [21 M] girlfriend [21 F] is vegetarian and it's starting to really bother me...help POST: We're both in college and have been together for almost 6 months. She became a vegetarian a couple of months before we met after watching some documentary or something, so it's not like she's been for her entire life or anything. I come from a family and culture that absolutely loves cooking meat and seafood; I have spent years learning all my parents' recipes which pretty much all involve meat. I love cooking meat and I'd say it's an important part of me as a person. Especially being able to cook for others and watch them enjoy the food. My GF being vegetarian of course prevents me from being able to do any of this. At first I sort of looked past it but as time has gone on it's started to bug me more and more. She's a super picky eater so she doesn't like veggie burgers or veggie meat or any of that. She won't go to a couple of my favorite restaurants because they don't have good "vegetarian options". The worst part is she often "teases" me by eating the occasional burger or chicken breast and I think it's finally over...but it isn't. Every time we go to the grocery store or something she'll stare at the meat aisle and then not buy anything. It's like she just gets my hopes up only for them to be crushed yet again. It sucks because she is by far the most awesome girl I have ever been with and we love each other very much. I'm still really happy and everything, but I don't see this issue being resolved until we talk about it, and I really don't know how to bring it up with her. I don't want to just ask her to start eating meat again, I feel that would be selfish on my part. But at the same time I think she is being a little selfish, not realizing that this "decision" she made is affecting me a lot as well. I'm really confused and don't know what to do about this. It seems silly to let something this minor ruin an otherwise awesome relationship. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] with my SO [27F] of 13 months, Came clean to me about trying to cheat on me, but just kissed him POST: So I have been dating this girl for the last year +. We have had our ups and downs and I have been very supportive of her through her various trials and tribulations including unemployment, eviction, and homelessness. She has helped me get in touch with my emotions like no one else, and really learn to feel again ( been fucked over a lot, heart kind of turned into a callus) Things had been great in december, when two weeks ago she told me that she tried to hook up with her best friend when we were having a rough patch. She felt disgusted with herself and he turned her down, and according to her nothing happened. I have had a really hard time getting over the lack of trust and am rather hurt by her actions. I have been trying to find forgiveness for her in my heart but am not having an easy time. My friends have given me a wide variety of advice from "dump her" to "well she didn't ACTUALLY cheat on you". I don't see myself being with her forever but she is still one of my best friends and we have a lot of fun, though lately has been a alot of serious talks and crying. My questions are as follows: 1. How can I try and find forgiveness and not let my being hurt mess things up between us/ overly guilt her (I know she feels awful) 2. If I cannot figure out a way to find forgiveness for her what should my next steps be? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by lying. POST: Happened a few years back, when I was 10 yrs or so. I had moved to the Middle East, due to my Dad getting transferred here, and lived in a flat-type system. I only had 1 or 2 friends since no one else in the building was around my age. We all became really good friends after some time since we had some things in common. To the actual fuck-up now. Being small, I was always curious about one thing or the other, which got the good of me. My Dad and Mom were going out for regular shopping and all, and I decided to stay back with my friend at my place. As my Dad was in a hurry a bit, he forgot to take a 20 Dinar note he had kept in the shelf along side his wallet, he obviously took his wallet but didn't notice the note kept along side it since he was in a hurry. Now that piece of money got me really intrigued, I always wondered what if I could get that cash and keep it all to myself! Imagine the things I could do! Me being the little 10 yr old bitch, excuse my self from my friend for a bit, and silently keep the note in my pocket. Mind you it was 20 Dinar(Bahrain's Currency), which is a lot of money. My Dad is mostly particular about money and when he comes back, he searches for the note in the shelf. He asks my Mom if she knows where it was but to no avail. I literally turned into a pussy lol and was shivering to death inside. I didn't have the guts to spill it out. My Dad kept on thinking maybe he spent somewhere and what not but he eventually gave up. Remember the note is still in my pants and I completely forgot about it that night and slept off. The next day, it's laundry time, my pockets are checked by Mom always because I tend to keep chocolate wrappers and whatnot in my pockets. Gone. Mom finds the note. Tells about it to Dad. Both call me in the living room. Got a superb lecture about it. Cried like an asshole. But hey, learnt my lesson and I haven't lied about stuff from then on. Or have I? loljk TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [19/M]Need advice with my GF's[18/F] trust issues. POST: I just need an advice, so here's the situation as the title suggests, my girlfriend has trust issues(obviously) she constantly checks my messages on facebook(because she knows the password) and also messages on my phone whenever we meet. We've had a fight numerous times because of things she would read on my facebook messages like jokes on a friend or even me saying hi to my female classmate on a group chat. She already unfriended alot of people on my FB account, and also blocked a few. because she was jealous of them. I don't know what to do, at that time I am doing my best to understand her. She also already told me to refrain on talking to my female classmates(which is impossible because they are my classmates on all of my subjects). There are a lot of instances that she wouldn't let me go anywhere with my friends because she doesn't feel comfortable letting me. She always thinks I'm gonna cheat on her, we've been in a relationship for 3 years already. I've never done anything untrustworthy. I can tell you that I am very loyal. I love her so much and as she is to me, that's why I need an advice to make this relationship work. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My[19 f] BF [19 m] is a bit of a bad texter and its starting to bother me a bit... POST: Using a throw away because he is actively on reddit... We known each other for all of high school and started dating last year. He was/is my best friend and even before we started dating we would talk on the phone almost everyday. Sometimes there would be some pauses when he would have a girl friend, but that's to be expected. Once we did start dating we were on the phone every night and text during the day. He sometimes won't text back right away but he always did at some point in the day. Though lately I would text him or he would text me and after a few texts he won't respond till the next day and sometimes (though very rare) even the one after that. I understand that he might be busy or is at work but even on his days off I get no response after a bit all day. Not even a 'brb I'm busy'. We don't talk on the phone much anymore. When we do, there's a lot of silence. I try not to text him twice but sometimes I give in and he might respond but then I get nothing afterwards. I'm not sure why he's doing this. But now that I think about it he was a bit spotty at texting when we weren't dating. Am I just overthinking? I am known to be very paranoid and over analyze everything. My brain keeps thinking about it and sometimes I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me, or find the convos boring. When we hang out in person, everything is fine. I just been feeling pretty gloomy over it. I want to talk to him about it but I'm not sure if it is a good idea or it might make me look clingy... He's my best friend and I love him so much. I haven't gotten a good night text from him a long while. Just the thought of him not wanting to talk to me makes me sad. Any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I (19M) want to be single after being with my (19F) girlfriend of 3 years POST: I am a (19M) with my FIRST (19F) girlfriend and after three years together I feel as though I'm missing out on a lot of things. I feel as though we are married and I don't want that at all right now. She constantly talks about being married and kids and I am not ready to think about that. I fell head over heals in love with this girl sophomore year and now being in college (we attend different university's a state away) I have an urge to explore different things. She is a good girl and I love her very much but I'm tired of a relationship. I want to be able to depend on myself 100% for a while. I feel like an asshole when I say that but I don't know how else to say it. I've actually tried to break up with her twice but I am such a softy, I can't take her bawling and being in hysterics when I say I want to take a break or be separate. I don't have the guts to end it. She doesn't really like my friends and we constantly fight about me going to hang out with them too much (different now that we are separated). I feel like I am her only friend. She has plenty of friends she likes but she would rather have me than all of them and I do not think the same way. I don't know what to do right now. I catch myself thinking about being single and how I am too young to be feeling like I'm married. Being with her is all I know I feel like. I want to do me during college and figure myself out because I feel as though I will end up being less of a man than I am capable of. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being a dick but it's just how I've been feeling. Thanks TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Help need some legal advice b/c I fired a gay employee... POST: K reddit I'm hoping you can help me with a jam I've found myself in. I own a small web development company (5 employees). Six months ago I hired a new guy, let's call him Fred. Fred interviewed well and had a good resume so I hired him to do some frontend dev. A couple weeks in i noticed he wasn't really fitting in. This is my business and I like to imprint my personality on it. It's important to me that my employees get along and have fun together. We have a company basketball team and generally I enjoy my employees being pretty enthused about sports. Whenever we talked about things like sports games or whatever Fred wouldn't participate. Flash forward i guess there started to be this rumor around the office that Fred was gay because my right hand guy total me that guys had been talking about this for weeks in a meeting. I ask Fred to come into my office and I ask him "there's a rumor going around the office that you're gay. Is there any truth to this?" and Fred goes "Well it's none of your business but i do happen to be gay". I was pretty shocked. When he had first interviewed for the position I had made it pretty clear to him that we were a macho culture at my company and I think if he was homosexual he should have told me at that time. Flash forward another month. Fred was taking a really long time to complete this site and when we finally got it to the customer it was nothing like what they had asked. I decided enough was enough, Fred wasn't producing up to par and he wasn't fitting in with my staff so I fired him. That was a month ago. This morning I receive a letter in the mail and it's subpoena. Fred is suing my company and me personally for discrimination. SO fucking bullshit. When I was younger I was fired from jobs for not fitting into corporate cultures and from my perspective this is exactly what's happened here. Does anyone have any legal advice I can use to fight this suit? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] with my SO [22 F] Is it normal to feel this way when we fight? POST: This is my first girlfriend and we've been together for about a year and a half now, moved in all that. Whenever we get into a fight though I always want to just break up with her because I don't know how to react or how anyone else would react in that situation. It's more of a "I wonder if everyone fights over this kind of stuff". I don't really know how to explain it. Also, anytime she's mad I always feel helpless because I don't want to be around and it's like.. as long as she's mad I won't be happy kind of thing. Does any of this make sense? This shit is hard. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by assuming a gecko could hold onto the roof. POST: So a while ago I go into the toilet, noticing the gecko on the ceiling but choosing to ignore it. Just as I have my pants undone, the damn thing falls from the roof into the toilet (managing to grab hold of the underside of the toilet seat). I obviously squeal, hastily right my pants, and go out to my dad for help. He goes in but cannot find it, and flushes the toilet to "prove" to me it's gone. Once again: close the door, undo pants, and the *gecko pops it's head out from under* the rim of the toilet**. How the hell it held on during the flush but couldn't hold on to the damn ceiling is beyond me. I choose to use the parent's toilet. A few minutes ago I go to use the toilet. I undo my pants and go to sit down. However, before I sit I pause and decide to check the gecko is gone by lifting up the toilet seat... The gecko chooses this time to fall from the ceiling onto the toilet. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by filling up my bird feeder. POST: My 7 year old nephew recently built a bird feeder in school and asked me if I could hang it up in my tree out in my front yard. I of course replied with "Absolutely!" but now looking back at it, I wish I had said "FUCK NO." Basically after my nephew left to go home with his mother, I hung up the bird feeder and went to get some bird food from the local Lowes. After my short trip, I filled it up with my newly purchased bird chow and went inside to go about my day. The very next fucking day, I see a whole army of these sons of bitches in the front of my yard swarming at the big ass bag of bird food that I left outside in front of my garage door. How long have they been there I do not fucking know but when I actually got outside to confront this battalion of foul as a one man army, nearly the bag was toppled over and a mountain of bird seed was piled in front of my garage with every bird in the fucking neighborhood probably piled around it. To them it looked like a buffet, but to me it looked like a nuclear bomb amount of bird turd that was going to fly onto my car. So I as fast as I could threw both my slippers at the group and proceeded to BONZAI rush at the flock. I have to say that I was victorious in my last stand. The lesson I learned: I'm retarded for leaving the bird food out, and fuck birds. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Landlord (F early 30's) holding some sort of grudge against me (F early 20's)? Best way to handle the situation. POST: My family and I moved in to an apartment complex in August. When we first moved in landlord and I could talk easily and she even asked me to babysit her unborn son (currently 4 months). We were on really good terms until about a month ago. It was a comfortable day and my daughter (2 years) and I had just gotten back from the grocery store. I ran inside to put money on the laundry card and the landlord joked about my husband taking care of our daughter. I should have just laughed it off but I mentioned that I had left her in the car for a moment. At the time I didn't think anything of it, did what I had to do, and ran back outside. I was inside for less than 2 minutes, the same song was playing on the radio when I returned to my car. I have only spoken to her twice since then, however both times that I have, she won't look me in the eye, she's short with me, and seems to have a chip on her shoulder. Maybe I should have mentioned that my daughter had the radio, AC, and the doors were locked but I honestly I didn't think it was a big deal or that it was particularly her business. This probably shouldn't worry me, however I am concerned it may affect our chances of leasing for another year. Or, even worse, that she may try to report me to CPS. She's a little bit out there; doesn't believe in vaccines or abortion, both of which I have very strong opposing position on. However I have never said anything contrary to her opinion. Mainly because of this very issue. I'm sure that I have not given her any other reason to have an issue with me other than this. Its kind of unprofessional for her act like this with a renter at all. It almost seems like I said something to offend her personally but I am not sure what else it could be. So what I am asking is what is the best way for me to inquire about her problem with me without compromising our position to least another year or getting too personal. Should I not even worry about it? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: She [21F] is pressuring me to introduce her to my [31 M] sister. I don't want to hang out with my sister. Please give objective opinions. POST: I invited my GF to my hometown for the first time and introduced her to my Mom. Things are going well and my Mother and my GF are getting along great. The sore point in all of this is that she keeps pressuring me and being upset with me that I don't want to hang out with my older Sister. I have a tenuous relationship with my older Sis dating back to when we were children. We are adults now and we have drifted apart and have maintained somewhat of a balance that I care not to upset. I've explained all of this to my GF but she is still adamant about meeting her. I just would rather avoid an uncomfortable encounter and spend time doing other things since our time together in my hometown is limited. Am I being unreasonable about this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Twins: how can I [27F] stop my SO's [25M] twin being uncomfortable with our relationship? POST: So I've been dating this lovely guy who has an identical twin, and when we first met the twin was super friendly - flirty, even - and everyone got along fine. Now that the relationship is getting more serious, my SO's twin is ignoring him, won't really talk to me unless I make the effort first, seems generally uncomfortable - he'll leave the room if I enter, subtly, but still definitely won't hang out where I am. If we're out drinking, he's having dance offs with me and being great, but when it's sober time - pretty much just avoids me. I know they had plans to buy a bachelor pad together, travel and meet hot chicks together, stay single and enjoy this awesome playboy lifestyle, but this is now being threatened by the fact one twin is in a relationship and happy, while the other isn't. How can I make his twin more comfortable with our relationship? I've tried to suggest things we can do in a group, (not just the three of us as that's a little strange this early on!) but I'm also quick to get annoyed at how the 'single' twin is actually being pretty rude and dismissive of my SO whenever he's spending time with me or says no to plans because we've planned something. I know I've sort of 'stolen' his twin and I get that it must be hard for him to not have as much time with his best friend who is now all loved up, but is there anything anyone can suggest that I can do to reduce the tension in the situation? SO suggested cloning myself so we can both be paired off and go on creepy double dates but I haven't got the resources to make this happen. As awesome as it would be! Thanking you! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge TITLE: "It's OK ladies, this round is on me!" POST: A couple of years back myself and a couple of friends were enjoying some late night weekend drinking. As usual, the bar was packed and I was still waiting for drinks after 40 minutes or so. I am not a patient person. I saw many people come and go from the bar yet I was still to be served. When I finally secured a place at the bar, about to hail the bar steward, only to notice a sharp, digging pain in my left side. I look, a young girl, around 18 yo was stood there, I heard her friend tell her to 'dig her elbows deeper'. Then she somehow managed to get in front of me to the bar, block my path and allow her pal access. I had waited too long for this to happen and not yet being drunk I quickly thought of a plan. "It's OK ladies, allow me. This rounds on me. What would you like?" They requested their order, though I never bothered to listen to it. They then freed up some space for me to get to the bar. I ordered my drink and nothing more. I then proceeded to explain to the barman how I had heard these girls talking about school and probably weren't old enough for drinking. I turned around to see them casting me some really evil looks as I left the bar with only my drink. They lost their place, had to wait some more time only to be refused drinks as they failed to produce ID. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance TITLE: Student Loan in collections 3 months delinquent... Thought I was paying it on time... Advice? POST: Hey r/personalfinance, I had a debt to my university go to collections for roughly 1800 dollars. I learned that my parents were hiding my mail from me, so I didn't even know I had debt to the university - I thought it was all to my federal student loan (I know I know I was irresponsible, I've got my shit together or at least I thought I did now). When I learned of my debt, I (thought) I had set up a payment plan for 100 dollars a month. I was told by a member of the collections office at my University through email that I was set up for that payment plan, and that I could sign up for automatic payments online at the website. I did that, and on the first of every month I check to make sure 100 bucks has been paid out to them. It has been. I recently decided to apply for a credit card to build some credit. Did my research, found one that I knew almost for sure that I would be approved for. Got denied. Checked my credit score, and my Equifax is trashed. Went from 694 down to 460 something. Checked and it's saying this debt is delinquent, and that I owe it in full (just over 1500 dollars). Is there anything I can do? I'm waiting to get on the phone with them right now, but I still have the emails from the collections office at my school agreeing to set me up for that payment plan every month. I have no idea if that is even valid or what, but this is really killing me. I've been saving money, throwing as much into my debts as I can, trying to build credit, living as frugally as possible, and I feel like that's all been for nothing at this point. I appreciate any and all thoughts and advice! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: Finally, I lose my virginity after a one night stand. POST: Where do I even begin? I, 23F, feel extremely relieved that I no longer have to be self conscious about my virginity and having that talk of being gentle for the first time. Many people advise against losing your virginity in a one night stand but for me it wasn't a bad decision. Ya the actual sex was awful but it was actually kind of perfect in a way in that I wasn't into him at all meaning there is no emotional attachment, and the whole bleeding thing was masked by my excuse of being at the end of my period. I warned him beforehand though so that was his call. You know what's really funny? All my good friends from high school and college know that I'm (was? am?) a virgin while my college friends think that I'm this promiscuous girl that wouldn't mind sleeping with different guys all the time. I have come across a number of opportunities where ONS were propositioned but I was too afraid to move forth due to my fear of other people's judgements. I think I was able to do it this time around because I didn't think too much about anything and just went with it. Perhaps the fact that I didn't find him very attractive helped me calm my nerves. I'm not a prude. I'm very self-aware and I know I'm a fairly sexual person; I freaking love porn and masturbating and I'm not ashamed of that. There are so many intriguing things I hear or read about that I wanna try. I honestly felt that the stigma of being a virgin was holding me back from freely expressing my sexual desires. I still don't think I can be truthful to my friends about it because of what they might think, and I'm okay with that. I don't think it's necessary to share the details of my sex life with them anyway. Woohoo, I feel liberated! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning TITLE: What's a cute/fun surprise for a bride & groom from the bridesmaids? POST: I'm a bridesmaid at one of my best friend's wedding one month from tomorrow. Three of the other bridesmaids and I have all known each other and the bride for 15+ years, and she and her groom are finally tying the knot after 12 years. The MOH and I have expressed the desire to conspire a surprise for them, but we suck at coming up with ideas! We're all pretty scattered around and have fairly busy schedules, so we only see/talk to each other maybe a couple of times a month (if that), so it's been a couple of weeks since we first mentioned doing something. We originally thought of doing something on the wedding day that could be cute, but nothing that would spoil or steal the spotlight from them. Just something to show them how much we love and appreciate being a part of their lives and how happy we are for them! I also remember seeing someone mention here how the bridesmaids each sent a message to the bride in the days leading up to the wedding, one day for each year the bride & groom had been together. I'd love something like that too, and it might be a little more discreet than a display on the actual day. This could also help them lighten up a little from the most stressful time before the wedding (although they're very down-to-earth, stress-free people, but it would still be nice). TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by going to prom POST: So, this happened a few months ago. A friend of mine was lacking in the prom date department and I own a tux, so naturally I offered to go with her (no date = no prom at her school). Fine. So, we go to prom, all is well, la-de-fucking-da, dance the night away. Woohoo. Meanwhile, my wallet is sitting on my bedroom floor, but it's all peachy keen because I have my license with me. Don't need to go getting arrested on prom night. Fast forward to when I get home. My dad walks in while I'm peeling off one sweaty-ass tux. He asks me is I remember what the first requirement for one of my college scholarships is, and I say yes, good character. He then says he was looking in my wallet to make sure I had my driver's license, which he found. But how? you ask! You had the license in your pocket! Oh, but friends, I had more than one driver's license until that fateful day. Yes, friends, my father had laid his hands on my fake I.D. And the really hilarious part is that someone else had to point out that he was clearly snooping in my shit and needed an excuse. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me 26/f with brother in laws(30/m) new gf (24/f) she just caught him emotionally cheating and wants advice on what she should do, want to be loyal to brother in law, but deep down I think she should bolt! Help. POST: Currently on a vacation with my husband and a close group of friends in Mexico, including his brother and his brothers new girlfriend. (they have been together four months) Last night she found romantic messages on his phone to another girl who lives in another town. (he hasn't been to this town so no.physical cheating took place) These messages have been going on throughout the relationship and even since we've arrived in Mexico. I'm very very surprised as my brother in law is usually such a stand up guy and we are very close, I would consider him one of my best friends. Now his new girlfriend, who I hardly know, is pressuring me for advice on what to do, which is hard because I want to stand up for my brother and help mend the relationship because I know he likes this girl a lot. On the other hand I know he screwed up royally, and if it were me in her shoes I would be out of there in a flash, so any advice I give about forgiving him would essentially be a lie. What do you guys think? What do you guys think? What should I tell her? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My (22F) S/O (29M) of 2 years is pressuring me to get an abortion I do not entirely want. POST: Found out I was pregnant a week ago. He was supportive at first, now he's distant, cruel and discussions on the topic are closer to attacks than conversations. His behavior as of late was heading in that direction but I'm beginning to see he has no limits. I know I'm not in an ideal position [due to start grad school full time this fall] but with extremely hard work and sacrifice I could create a positive atmosphere. I have the basic foundation to build from and I want to give my best. It's still early in the pregnancy, and I'm on the fence (however strong my leaning may be) but the added stress is too much. The way he is treating me right now is killing me more than the news itself and making it all the more difficult to process. I'm pro-choice and funnily enough, typically against unplanned pregnancies being pursued. You'd be surprised how different things are when they're happening to you. Not even sure if I have a question. If anyone has experienced something similar, please share. I've never felt so alone in my life. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Two years ago she [24/f] cheated on me [26/m], and I'm still devastated, sort of. POST: College sweetheart and I moved in together and things collapsed because of her. She blamed everything, all our fights, all her problems indirectly and directly on me. The kicker was when I found out she romantically was talking to the guy who cheated on her 7 years ago behind my back. A total switch from a beauty to a beast, and it still makes me insecure about myself to this day. Therapy, going on dates, having sex with women, and all other distractions still make me lonely. If she could see how amazing my life is now, though. Amazing job, in the university town we both love, all my friends are here, family is doing great, I'm more fit, my style is improved, passions are expanding, etc. But I still feel lonely, I'm reminded of her by everything constantly. She shaped me into the man I am today, and I couldn't have done it without those I've loved along the way. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/college TITLE: Do I even have a chance? POST: I've done a bit of research and found out that this subreddit typically doesn't like these kind of posts, but I'm really worried right now and I didn't know who else to ask. I'm coming up on my senior year of high school and I have this horrible nagging doubt in the back of my mind that I'm not going to be accepted into any good colleges. The main reason is because of how crappy my high school profile must look so far. I've gone to a horribly underdeveloped private school for all three years and, as such, I've had no opportunities for honors/AP courses or extracurricular activities. Luckily, I'm actually going to the public high school next year, but my counselor was only able to fit me in to one AP course. I have a 4.0 and got a decent score on the ACT, but I'm still really nervous about the lack of academic rigor and extracurriculars. Do I have even the slightest chance of being accepted to a good school? I'm not looking to go to an Ivy or anything, because I know that I have no chance in hell of getting in to one of them. I'm looking more towards schools like Northwestern and Washington University in St. Louis. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My friend [29 M] of 24 years wants to get revenge on me [31 M] because I shoved his face in some snow... POST: Today, a couple of friends and I went sledding up North. We were having a fine time, and I decided to shove my one friend's face into some snow as a harmless joke. He was totally fine, just a bit of numbness to his face, and it turned pretty red. He says he is going to get revenge on me, but he won't tell me when. He keeps threatening me and holding it over me, saying the revenge could come at anytime. I told him that he can't withhold the revenge, he has to enact it now. I feel there is a statute of limitations about revenge, and he can not keep waiting. Is he being childish or am I entirely in the wrong? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend [22 F] and I [26 M] are in a complicated relationship and I don't know how to handle upcoming anniversary. POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years. Our relationship has recently become complicated and we are in a spot now where we are together and exclusive, but not necessarily "official." To make a long story short, it got to this point because I have trouble with intimacy and showing affection and she has problems with communication. It dragged her down and we have been taking a break of sorts recently. For the past couple weeks I have been more open with expressing affection (she has also improved communication) and we are taking it slow to be sure that this is what we really want. We are also doing this so I can show her that I'm not just putting on an act. To bring you up to speed about my current problem, our anniversary is coming up soon. In my mind, the relationship we had is over and we are now moving into a better relationship. Although we technically aren't "official", a part of my feels like I should still find a way to celebrate the anniversary as a way to show her that I am capable of being caring and affectionate. I have no idea how to even approach asking her about this. Should I even ask? Any advice is greatly appreciated! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: My therapist said to me: Internet friends are not real friends. How much do you agree with this statement? POST: I'm not some forever alone who only socializes on the internet, I have a good deal of real life friends, that I love and spend a lot of time with, however, I do have some anxieties about meeting new people as my friends start to move away, since I'm nearing 30 and can't meet anyone at work. I've made a few friends via Reddit and elsewhere that I've grown very close with, however, when I expressed this to my therapist she told me "Friends from the internet are not real friends." I thought this was somewhat narrow minded of her. They are people, after all, not robots on the other end of a cable. I talk about the same things with them I would talk to my friends about. I get that it's easier to lie and manipulate via the internet, and so you have to be a lot more careful, but it isn't impossible to build trust, and I think I'm a good enough judge of character to know the difference. Even with real life friendships, there is a certain amount of risk you take and trust you have to offer in order to form an emotional connection with someone. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit TITLE: [help]i wanna lose it but theres problems POST: long time lurker here i was motivated by all of yalls victories within the war with weight.well monday i decided to walk a mile at my local park(well not really local since i do have a park that is easily accessed by just crossing the intersection but i prefer the other one that is 3/4 mile away hence the fact that each lap you complete is half a mile.)i did that was jamming but i gave up after my phone fell in the water.without my phone i cant go walk around da city at 4:00 am or 5:00 am.and what i hate about my home though is that everytime i come theres junk food. im trying to beat the shit out of the fat but somehow my weapon is weak like fuck.all i see in my home is just pigs. ughh i hate describing it that buts its the fucking truth. im trying to change but they seem like they dont and they gave up and accepted it as fate.r/loseit please help me i gotta get going i dont want to return to school as the same person but i want them to notice that i lost weight. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice TITLE: Avoiding the friend zone at all costs. POST: I am an 18 year old, male, college freshman who has been in one serious relationship so far (3 years long in high school). We broke up shortly after I came to college. Anyway, I've been looking around for a relationship and I met this girl on my floor who is everything I could ever want. I mean, she's beautiful, smart, kind, and she has the same religious views and values as I do. (She's also 18 and a freshman if that matters). We hit it off this last weekend and everything seemed to be going great. However, there's a problem: She was home schooled, and has never had a boyfriend or been in any kind of relationship before. Last night, she said that she's not ready for a relationship yet, and while I think that's honestly what she means, should I be worried that it's just code for "I don't like you like you like me"? What I want to know is how to approach this situation. I don't want to end up in the "friend-zone," but I don't want to pretend like she doesn't exist either. She did say that she might be open to the possibility of a relationship next semester. Any and all advice is appreciated! Thanks. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Should I (27M) be concerned that new girlfriend's (31F) best friends are her previous sexual partners? POST: I have a new girlfriend (31F) who has had a multitude of same-sex partners in her past. Some romantic; some strictly sexual. She is still "friends" with almost all, some even "best friends." She insists that it was just a phase (albeit 5+ years long including a serious long-term relationship) and it is not a big deal because they are girls. Logically, I do not see the difference. Perhaps I'm too egalitarian(?), but what difference would gender play? If instead her best friends were male sexual partners I would feel as equally discomforted. Conversely, she admits that if I were best friends with my former sexual partners (women), she would be uncomfortable. But again she insists that because her friends are female it is not the same thing. My hypothetical concern: In the event of a shared argument or disagreement, she may run to (the arms of) her "best friends," for consoling. She agrees that this may be true. She has a natural predisposition to being overly emotionally driven (override of logical/rational reasoning). She agrees that this is also true. Now, I've seen a lot of romantic comedies (perhaps not the best litmus test of reality), but my concern is her "friends" could easily take advantage of her vulnerability. Taking into full consideration their previous shared sexual intimacy: 1) it indicates a previous attraction/sexualized intent/motivation on their part (as well as hers). 2) They are not a neutral party 3) She's already had sex with them! I understand this concern screams of my personal insecurities. I understand that it is not appropriate for me to ask her to stop speaking with her bestfriends. Nonetheless, is her justification sound? As she no longer self identifies as a lesbian I should not be concerned? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Does Anyone Recognize This Suspicious Dating-Site Photo? POST: So, a buddy mine approached me today, asking for a favor. He's was on Plenty of Fish and met a cool girl he really liked and got along with. He started messaging back and forth with her, but noted there was something... off about her. Her living location kept changing, and her Skype profile says she's located in Sweden. Growing suspicious, he asked her for a photo confirming her identity. Note: Photo has been altered to hide her face. There's no photo on her Plenty of Fish profile, but she did have a Skype profile image,which matches this one. Something seemed off about the photo to my friend,and I offered to take a look at it, since I'm pretty familiar with Photoshop and altering image. I took one look at it, and it looked damn fake to me, based on the text on the card. 1- The zeros on the card appear to be identical 2- The 1 and the p's lines are completely vertical 3- Little pixelation around the text, even at when magnified. Now it's totally possible this is a legit photo, maybe the girl just keeps it around for verification and digitally adds the date as needed. My buddy really likes this girl, but he's freaking out a bit now, and I want to help him out. Does anyone recognize this photo, or can confirm it's fake? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [25F] of 3 1/2 years. How do I convince her to get her tattoos fixed? POST: My girlfriend has seven tattoos. A couple are symbols, others are illustrations of objects, all related to a topic she studied in college. They are well done tattoos, but they are all black ink and skin. No color at all. Her explanation was that it started unintentionally but she embraced it as an aesthetic choice going forward. In reality, it makes her look covered in half finished tattoos. Only a small bit of color would improve so many of them. And now she's telling me she's going to save up for another tattoo! When I asked her about color, she said no. I just wish she could be more open minded. We have many tattoo artists and inked friends in our social circle. Should I suggest one of them to talk to her about this? I'm not the first one to think her tattoos look unfinished. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I [22 M] work abroad a do not have a permanent home, how do I meet women? POST: I work a monthly rotation in remote locations around the world. The months when I work, I have zero chance of meeting any women. The other half of the year I spend in hostels either traveling or relaxing in some random country. Needless to say I dont stay anywhere long enough to have a girlfriend, let alone close friends for that matter. People I meet while in hostels tend to be couples, groups of friends, or significantly older than me. I did meet a great Dutch girl a few months ago and we have been keeping in contact with texting. But we recently became friends on Facebook and I found out she has a boyfriend. I am just starting to feel like I will be alone as long as I am in this job, but I love it too much to quit. Any tips for meeting women while traveling? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: Is it fair that I [M23] continue seeing a woman [F34] that I care for but don't see a future together? POST: I've been seeing a woman who is about 11 years older than me with two kids. It started out as a friends with benefits type of deal but as time went on we started to talk and saw that we had a lot in common. We started spending more time together, and talking a lot after sex, and we really started to enjoy each others company. We then became exclusive. I'm proud to call her my girlfriend. She is absolutely gorgeous, she loves sex, and we talk about everything and anything. The communication and chemistry between us is nothing like my previous relationships. While I'm not certain that I "Love" her, I feel very strongly about her. She truly makes me happy at this point in time of my life. However, there is a problem. I don't see a long term future a head for us. We talked about this and agreed that although we make each other very happy, our relationship doesn't "logically" make sense due to the age difference, the kids, and so forth. And While it's possible that maybe things could workout, I'm having a hard time seeing her two kids being a part of my future. She has made it clear she doesn't want more children, but I want a child of my own later down the line. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: How to work out my notice at work respectfully, but without stressing myself out? POST: (x-post from r/work) I've worked in the same position with the same small team for the last five years or so. I've put a lot of effort in in this time to know everything I can about the area I work in, the various programs and processes used by the department. Basically I love to learn and keep my job interesting by adding new strings to my bow. The conclusion of this was that I have been given a secondment (working on the same area but at a higher grade with a chance to apply myself to more technical aspects of the work). The other members of my team are happy to coast, cope pretty poorly with change (which there has been a lot of recently) and are pretty poor at dealing with the workload and getting along with each other. I feel like I've been carrying them for a while, frankly, and this and their poor attitudes have really been aggravating my anxiety. I've been applying for jobs in other departments at the pay scale of my secondment and finally got offered something. A little before my job offer, the project I was seconded to do finished up, and my manager asked me if I would take more of a supervisory role in the team. I agreed, as I figured I might be able to get some more training and useful experience from it. However I really don't think I'm naturally suited to a supervisory role, especially not with this team. I'm a fairly reserved person (at least in a professional setting), don't deal well with confrontational behaviour and my natural supervisory style is more collaborative than authoritative, which I feel is the only style they really respond to. Plus I've worked alongside these guys as a peer for five years. And frankly I don't have a massive amount of respect for them at this moment in time. Also anxiety. I don't have a start date for my new job but it's probably around another six weeks. How do I deal with a responsibility I'm struggling with in that time without being a total jerk? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my SO [27 F] of 10 yrs. TL;DR; Sexting as an Open Relationship; Though I was fine with it but now feeling Self-Conscious. POST: So me and my S/O of ten years recently mutually decided that sexting with others is ok. (as long as its non-romantic) At first I was a little excited and very optimistic that this would create a better sex-life for us. But I'm finding myself now feeling very self conscious, I have always thought of myself as very handsome but have had very little luck finding a "dirty Pen Pal" while my S/O has had no trouble whatsoever... This is leading me to feel quite jealous and again very very self conscious about my appearance. I know it is not fair to "Not want to play this game because I'm not winning" But that's how I feel and I don't know what to do. I am looking for any advice. Thanks. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [25f] mom died unexpectedly the other day and I have no idea what to do. POST: Sunday morning, I wake up to a frantic phone call from my moms boyfriends daughter saying that my mom died. She went to sleep and never woke up. This came so suddenly and I am so fucking lost and devastated. I haven't been able to sleep or stop thinking about it. I'll have sudden bursts of mental breakdowns and crying fits. Thankfully my boyfriend is here to help me. She died in Ontario and I'm in BC so now I have to fly out there with the invisible money we have asap. I am so upset and distraught and heart broken and I don't know if I'll ever get over this. My life was already in shambles before this happened and now I feel like I'll just never be able to recover. She was only 50 years old and died from a clogged artery. People say she went peacefully but I'll never ever know if there was a moment of fear and panic and if she struggled for a minute or two in pain. That thought will haunt me forever and I can't get the images out of my head. I loved her so much, I talked to her everyday. I knew some day something like this would happen but I never actually thought it would be this. I knew because of her smoking she was in very poor health and i was constantly worried about her, I feel like if I didn't constantly worry then maybe this wouldn't have happened to her. what do I do? how in the fuck do I get over something so fucking traumatic? I am living a nightmare right now. I had a a mental breakdown the other night I thought I was going to pass out. I know people are going to suggest therapy and I want to get some, but I don't even think I have any health coverage or health anything. I don't have a family doctor. This is something I'd always ask my mom for information on. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice TITLE: Should I keep trying? Or just give up POST: Ok, here's the rundown. A while ago, I met a girl that works at my local grocery store. Her and I like a lot of the same things and we get along really well. She was actually the one to give me her number. Unfortunately, the only times I ever see her are when she's at work. So, time to ask her out on a date. I ask her if she would want to go out sometime and see a movie and lo and behold, she says yes! Here's where it starts to go downhill. Whenever I ask her if she can go at a specific time, she says she cant (working, school, etc). I ask her to text me when she knows she will have free time and we can do something then and she says ok. Unfortunately, she never texts back. I usually text her another time later in the week and ask if she had found any free time, and she always says no. After a while, I just stop asking. I've asked her out again later (about a couple weeks later) saying something like "Hey, we never saw that movie last time, we should go out and see something." She responds the same as before, saying yes and sounding excited, but it always ends the same. Her not having any time to actually do it. I'm just trying to figure out if she's just saying yes to be nice and not reject me, or she literally just can't find time, or if shes just fucking with me (though I don't think it's that). Do I stop asking her out, or what? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Am I being selfish in my relationship? [F19] POST: This is my throw away account because my boyfriend knows my username and has looked through my comments before. I've been dating my boyfriend of 21 for a little over 4 months. It's been a wild ride and I love his passionate personality. We fell in love very quickly and I have been staying with him pretty much since we met. However, I'm about to finish up community college in the next year and I have already applied to several schools all in different cities. I have been making plans to move to one of these areas since before I met him, but now I'm in a bit of a pickle. Okay reddit, this is the part where you call me out and tell me I'm being selfish or whatever it is that is making me feel these things. He wants to come with me, and I do love him. But part of me is screaming that 1. It's too soon to move in together to a new city 2. What about living on campus? Is this opportunity something I should take advantage of? 3. He's mentioned engagement, and but again, I think it is too soon to even consider these things. 4. He doesn't have much of a plan education wise, he only began going to school this year because I was going. We are now currently on a break because he tells me he does not want to come second in my life, which I completely understand. All I keep hearing is either that we should break up and not waste time on each other or move in together in a few months. May I mention that he has exhibited some major jealousy/controlling, and is currently suffering from intrusive thoughts. Along with that, his anger is out of control. (Last night he ripped his door into pieces because he was so mad, and has put several holes in his walls from anger) So, reddit. Tell me all your opinions on this situation, please. I really need help :( TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Speaking of embarrassing stories, have you ever been really embarrassed, but it turned out to be good because it distracted you from being sad? (NSFWish) POST: I found out today that I'm going to have to put the love of my life, my dear sweet Bunny Kitty, to sleep on Thursday. I am also currently staying with my Aunt, Uncle, and two child cousins for the next two weeks until I can move into my new apartment. My aunt heard the news and decided to be nice and buy me some flowers and make my bed for me for when I got home from work. Little did she know that my adult lady toy was hiding under the covers. So I came home to a poorly made bed, and flowers, a card, and my lady love buzzer on the bedside table. I just hope my uncle or cousins weren't the ones doing the bed making. However, I am so distracted by being embarrassed that it is making my sad kitty news slightly less painful, so at least there's that. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: She might be pushing things too quickly. POST: (Throwaway because I have other friends on Reddit and I use the same username on multiple sites, including the one we met on.) I'm 26/M and she's 24/F. We originally met online about a month ago and met in real life on Sunday. It worked out so well the first meeting that we made out a bit and walked out of the bar holding hands. (we were texting for at least a few weeks beforehand) Yesterday, we had a text conversation where she really wanted to be with me that night but couldn't because I had to go to bed soon. We originally were going to go on a date on Friday, but we ended up also deciding to hang out sooner in the week. Well, today I cancelled that "sooner". Part of it was because I was at a party/meetup type thing and I was burned out from the social interaction, and also because while I was there, I began to have second thoughts about us. The biggest thing is that I'm honestly not sure if I like her because she likes me, or if I legitimately like her. Moving directly from the first meeting to wanting to be with me as often as possible seems a bit too fast to me for just meeting in real life, and it took going somewhere where I wouldn't be texting her all the time to be put back into a rational mindset. Is this a fair concern? I'm not sure I want to potentially kill the budding relationship by talking to her about it, but maybe I'm also overthinking this. (I also don't have much experience, so my gut/mind could be wrong on this) TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, have you ever been a victim or experienced Racism? If so, what was your worst experience with it? POST: I haven't experienced it per say, but my best friend has. I'm light complected, with very green eyes so I blend in well. My friend is dark skinned, brown eyed and has a thick accent. We went to eat a nicer restaurant the other day, to splurge since he was going off to the AF the next day, and had some drunk older gentleman with his son walk by and call him a "Dirty spics ruining the country", the son just smirked and said something along the lines of "He probably can't afford to eat here." Making it very obvious he who he was referring to as he eye-balled my buddy pretty hard. Needless to say, we got pretty angry, but before we could confront them (which was childish, to begin with), the table near us complained about the men to our waitress. The manager came out and apologized to us, and the surrounding people, had the men escorted out. We all had a complimentary bottle of wine sent to the tables with the managers sincerest apologies. Also, my friend got a free cream puff, and waitresses number. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest TITLE: I'm not rolling in money. You're just a dumbass. POST: My dad asked me to pay a bill of his, because I am "rolling in money". When he was my age, he estimates he was making 20k/year with benefits. Adjusted for inflation, not including the benefits, that would be like making almost 70k a year today. Adjusting for inflation, the amount I get paid is less than half of what he got paid at my age, and I get no benefits. His job had nothing to do with his degree. My degree was required to get my job. My dad still makes over 80k a year. How can someone like that be so fucking stupid? How can you completely ignore inflation, the recession, years of destroying unions, outsourcing, the advent of the two earner income household being a necessity, and a million other things to say that I am "rolling in money"? It is completely maddening. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice TITLE: Collections Agency calling reg Gym Cancellation POST: 10 months after canceling, a debt collector is calling me saying if I don't pay the cancellation fee could affect my credit. I don't want to go through the trouble of disputing and frankly, I don't have time for it either. It's only $50 so it's really not a big deal. If I pay the debt, will this still bring down my credit? Some BG: Gym is NY, billing address in CA - I have received no calls, notification, mail from gym. Last payment to gym is 2/2015 per my statement. Account created 6/2014 and is "no-strings-attached" membership - so cancelable with 45 days notification. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by leaving my puppy at home alone POST: So this actually happened today (holy shit, right?). Anyway, I've got this new puppy earlier in the week, she's 8 weeks old and attached to my by the hip. I have never fallen in love and become so connected with an animal so quickly and pretty much bring her everywhere with me. Last night however I was drinking pretty heavily and the pup was enjoying hanging out and playing around at the party, but as 1am rolls around I figure I should put her in my room and let her get some sleep. I then proceed to go out to the bar and continue filling my body with that delicious poison we call alcohol. 2am strikes and I get a call from my mom telling me that she think the dog got out, I figure she's just being paranoid but sure enough I get back to find my 8 week old puppy has burrowed through the towels around my air conditioner and went out onto the roof (I live on the second floor) and somehow she made her way off the roof without any injury and tried to, I presume, go find me. Anyway the next day I woke up hungover as hell and let me tell you reddit - hangovers and sadness are not a good mix. I was driving around looking for her chain smoking with tears pouring out of my eyes like a torrential down pour. Thank the fucking lord after putting posters up and getting her picture shared all over Facebook I got a call from someone a few blocks down who had her cowering on their porch. I have never been so sad, hungover, and happy all in one day. I felt like I found out both my parents had cancer only to get a call from the doctor an hour later saying "whoopsies no cancer my b dude lol." I know this wasn't funny or particularly interesting but any fellow dog owners out their will understand what an emotional rollercoaster this was. I promptly bought a GPS collar the second I got her back. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice TITLE: This sounds normal right? POST: I (29F) met this girl (26F) at a music festival...she came with some friends that I just recently met. We were all having a good time, I was singing, everyone was laughing...her and I had a few brief conversations and she was laughing at my jokes. We hugged at the end. I left, we became friends on facebook. I made a comment on her facebook page that was playful and she was playful back. She mentioned she like Asian art. So I was just going to send her a message on facebook asking if she wants to go to the art museum and check out Asian art. That sounds normal right? Or should I get her number somehow? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 M] with my girl I started dating [24 F] decided not to have sex for first 3 months of dating. I found out she's sleeping with someone on the side. POST: So the title pretty much explains it all. We met at a mutual friends "summer kick off BBQ" at the beginning of May. We hit it off immediately and hung out right away. It only took a couple weeks for us to decide we liked each other, and wanted to consider a relationship. After a couple of dates we get back to my place, start getting into it and she stops, decides she wants to take things slow with me and do it the right way. I agree as I really like her and think it would be well worth it. Fast forward to now over a month of dating and with 2 months to go I talk to our mutual friend again about how we are dating. He tells me "dude her and so-and-so are sleeping together". I ask for how long has this been going on and he says about 3 months and he confirms it is still happening. Without trying to jump to conclusions the next time we went on a date was when we were out to dinner, everything was great and when I dropped her off I confronted her about it, asked if it was true and she doesn't deny it. I asked her why she is continuing this when her and I are trying to start a relationship and her reasons are since we are technically not in a relationship yet nor are we having sex that she isn't doing anything wrong. I was so flustered and upset I didn't even kiss her goodbye and left. This was 2 days ago and she has texted me a couple times, with the exception of a couple short responses I haven't been talking to her. I don't know what to do, I know she "technically" isn't doing anything wrong but this just doesn't feel right. I can't help that I am now turned off to her, even if technically I shouldn't be or whatever. I don't know if I want to continue this with her, what do you all think? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My GF (F19) gets moody and silent all the time and it's starting to annoy me (M20) POST: My gf and I work pretty well together. We've been dating for 6 months now. It's just she gets all moody sometimes to the point of going dead silent. She apologizes for it after but her random bouts of silent treatments brought on by anything remotely sad, annoying etc. are starting to bother me. I want to get her to stop this but I have no idea how to talk to her about this. she's a very moody girl and I have next to no experience with relationships. How do I bring this up and get her to ease up on this? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by setting my alarm POST: So this didn't happen today but rather a few years ago. At the time, I owned a samsung galaxy s1. It was an awesome phone but being over a year old it was starting to crap out. Like most people I know, I use my phone to wake up for work in the morning, until one fateful day when it finally decided to crap out completely. I'm a heavy sleeper and I don't wake up to much of anything... so I needed a replacement alarm for work the next day. It was too late to go buy an alarm clock and obviously getting another phone that quick was out of the question. Instead I remembered my iPod and promptly downloaded an alarm app on my ipod touch. Going through the settings I naturally chose the rooster alarm. I was skeptical about this idea as the iPod touch's speakers were pretty shitty and I didn't think it would wake me up. This is where I FU, genius me decides to hook my ipod up to my computer speakers, crank them full blast and move them closer to my pillow.. even though the speakers were right beside my bed already. I go to sleep thinking my idea is foolproof. 6am and I wake up in level 10 panic mode to a rooster screaming in my ear. My brain that isn't awake yet tells me to start screaming for whatever reason. In my screaming panic I stand up and stick my hand into my ceiling fan spinning at top speed. I trip on the floor, fall on my coffee table and smack my head on my tv. Went to work that day with a messed up wrist and tinnitus. I honestly don't know what I expected... not a huge FU but looking back it's kinda funny. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend [F19] of 3 years lied to me [M20] numerous times. POST: I'm really not doing to well. My girlfriend is my first relationship and sexual partner while I am her second. This has always upset me. I waited for someone deserving and she didn't. Her ex was an asshole drug dealer who was cheating on her. They kissed and did some sexual stuff which is very upsetting to me. She's always told me that they only did anything sexual once and she got scared and broke up with him. She claimed to hate and despise him and told me she never talked to him again after they broke up. However, today on Facebook I saw that she had wished him Happy Birthday several months after they broke up. This made me mad; he had cheated on her and she said she hated him. Well I asked her today and eventually she said she lied to me. They actually had done sexual things together twice and months after they broke up they talked again and for a week considered dating. The never did. But the only reason she told me was because I said I was going to text him and ask what she was hiding, because before we talked today she had always hid those things. I feel betrayed because even yesterday she had told me they had never spoken again and she swore they only did it once and she left the house immediately and they never talked again. I'm so angry at her and I don't know if I can still trust her. Do you guys have any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice TITLE: [24] My Boyfriend [24M] hasn't said I love you after a year of dating POST: We met a year ago and things moved pretty quick (I met his family in the first month!) and we really clicked. I fell head over heels and at the six month mark I told him so. The only problem was that he wasn't sure if he felt that way yet. I understood, it had only been 6 months, so I decided to give him time. At the 9 month mark though it became all I could think about and we fought often. He would always say the same thing, he just "didn't know." He's really introverted and has trouble expressing himself in general (he's never said the words before, not even to his ex that he dated for 2 years) so he claims that's why. Recently he said he probably knows what he feels but just can't bring himself to say it to the person the feelings are about. To complicate things further, I just started grad school in a different state. We're giving long distance a chance (it's going great so far) so I know he's not in it for the sex. He says he cares for me, recently said he'd love to "knock me up one day", and is starting to sorta maaaaybe entertain the idea of moving here while I'm at school. I know people say that the way he shows it means more than the words, but when he "doesn't know" what he wants for our future except that he cares about me... it hurts. So any advice? Have any relationships similar to this ever worked out? I love him but I know I deserve someone who loves me too and I worry I'm wasting my time. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I ruined our night POST: So I always liked my boyfriend's hair long. It really compliments his face, and he's so fucking adorable when his hair falls into the right place. Well he just got his hair cut today and I really don't like it. When he asked my opinion I told him how I felt. And since this isn't the first time he's shaved his head, I decided to be a bit more honest (cough cough harsh) and told him I'm not as attracted to him when his hair is shorter. I know it was harsh and I should've thought of a better way to say it. My relationship isn't based entirely off looks, it's more-so based on personality of course. We've been dating for almost 2.5 years now, this is the 3rd time he's gotten a big hair cut that I disliked and I'm kinda annoyed to be totally honest. It seems like as soon as his hair is the length I love, the length he's adorable with, I get a week before he cuts it all off. And I KNOW. I know I know I know. It's his head, his hair, he gets to decide what happens. But that doesn't mean I have to like his haircut... So I kinda ruined our night. We were gonna cuddle, watch a movie, have sex, but since I rejected him for sex (not in the mood.... That haircut really threw me off) he's pissed, his self esteem has taken a hit, I was way over the top rude to him and I ruined our plans (nights like these are rare). Advice? I'm a girl, about to be 21, he's a guy (obviously) and is 24, we've been going out for 2.5 years now. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 F] with my husband [27 M] duration. How can we make our relationship work when he wants a LOT more sex then I am able to get in the mood for? POST: My husband and I have been together for the last 7 years, married for 3 and have a 13 month old daughter. We have been struggling with our sex life for about the last 4 years (all other aspects of our relationship are great). He wants it twice a week and I have a hard time getting in the mood a few times a month. He has said many times that a few times a month isn't enough for him. I don't know what to do because doctors have no fix to help me. When I force myself to let us have sex I hate it and am just waiting for it to be over. Little things (like the feeling of the hair on his legs or being freezing cold) take over in my brain and start to annoy me until I have to stop. When I'm not in the mood I really don't like how sex feels. Sometimes it becomes uncomfortable. I want our sex life to be enjoyable for both of us. Afterwards I am often left very angry because I am broken and I can't seem to enjoy what everyone else is able to. This anger starts to take over and is affecting how I feel about him overall (not just sexually). I have looked into seeing a sex therapist but I have not been able to find one that will accept our insurance and we can't afford to spend around $200/hour without insurance. We are seeing a marriage counselor. Is there any way to increase my sex drive? How can I let him do what he wants without hating him and being constantly angry at myself for not being able to enjoy it? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: How do I know when to make the next step when we (27F/27M) are both trying not to? POST: Background: We dated for about 4 months 4 years ago. I (27F) started wanting more. He (27/M) did not. No hard feelings were had, just figured out we wanted different things. In Between: We both entered into similar long term relationships. We each dated and lived with our ex for a little over 2 years. The 2 year relationships ended poorly for both of us. Current: We recently found each other again. We have so much fun together! It seems like a great friendship again but when we do hang out we try to make it completely clear that we aren't trying to get into anything serious for a long time. We are both enjoying the shit out of our newly acquired independence. We didn't have great communication in the past and I still have trouble with expressing my feelings around him. Our communication IS clear on what we want from each other, however. That has always been something we have been able to talk about seriously and agree on. A relationship is the opposite of what I need from him. However, a relationship is something I WANT from him. I think about him constantly and always think of things we can do together. We have been dating for about 4 months and I am terrified of repeating the history and losing him to the same "not being on the same page" shit. The more I see him and spend time with him the more I want to be with him more seriously (i think?). How do I know when to move to the next step? How do you move from not wanting anything to wanting it all? Side Note: He genuinely tells me he loves me when he's drunk...a lot. We never talk about feelings any other time. TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: I've [21 F] been living with my emotionally abusive boyfriend [21 M] 2 years, but can't seem to save enough money to leave. POST: My boyfriend and I have lived together for 2 years. We moved together to new york at 19, and then moved back to his hometown upstate (5 hours from my family) in december of last year. I have no family in this area, am going to college (can't live on campus with my three cats), share a boss with him, and am living on about 150$ per week. My parents can help me with small amounts of money - gas, a grocery gift card - but not large amounts. My boyfriend is generally goofy and fun. We don't have sex, we don't cuddle, but we hang out and tell stupid jokes and sleep in the same bed. When the goofiness gives way to him being embarrassed, angry, disappointed i didn't do the chores 'the right way', or especially drunk, he has always been emotionally abusive. He says horrible things to me until I cry and then makes fun of me for crying. His eyes turn cold and he becomes so hateful. I am certain he's a sociopath. I told myself that the next time this happened, I would leave, and it did. So I'm ready. I planned on my parents being able to help me with the down payment on a studio apartment, as a loan I would pay back. Unfortunately they're unable to help me, and I can't seem to save enough to leave in time. I'm worried if I have to wait another month - even with a second job, I can't save enough yet, and I'm about to start another semester of school - I will get fooled into staying again. I'm frightened if I don't leave now, I'll never leave. But I just don't have the means, I have to go to college every day starting in a week, and I can't abandon my animals to live on campus. My parents can't help me. Can anyone give me any advice? TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/self TITLE: I wanted to surprise me SO with a personalized Valentines day gift. Reddit to the rescue?? POST: I've been on the job hunt for awhile, and things aren't great, but they're not as bleak as some of us are going through. I scrounged up some monies to get my SO a little something for Valentines day, but I kinda wanted to tip the scales a little with a thoughtful gift. We have this running theme (well, I do anyway), where when we cuddle or are relaxing together, I initiate "low voltage". It started off just a stupid quip I made when we were first dating, and it went something like... me: Hmmm honey, it seems that your muscles are really tense, maybe if I stimulate your sides with some... LOW VOLATAGE!! This proceeded with me tickling the shit out of her. Nowadays, this term sparks up a lot when we are relaxing together right before I tickle the hell out of her. It sneaks its way into intimate moments throughout the week, always starting with a retarded observation about something, segueing into "low voltage" and concluding with a tickle fest. Long story short, she hates low voltage, so as a gift, I am killing off the low voltage alter-ego for Valentines day. She loves Reddit, and would spaz if she knew you guys helped end her suffering. If anyone can draw the demise of that evil dick, I would be eternally grateful. MY drawing skills rival that of Michael J Fox on a train, so I'm pleading to our artistic and generous community for assistance. I'll try to keep you up to date with her reaction, and I am much obliged to your efforts! TL;DR:
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend's brother [24M] is threatening to tell their SUPER conservative family that I was a stripper [24F]. HELP. POST: Hi Reddit! Sorry for the throwaway, but I obviously don't want this to be associated with any account I have. I'll keep this short: I was a stripper for two years, but quit about a year ago when I got my life together. It was a very dark time in my past that I fucking hate to remember. I had just moved to a new place from an abusive home and it seemed like the only way to make money with no degree or skills. I've since changed my life and am currently enrolled in college. My boyfriend [29M] and I have been together for about 5 months. He's a great guy and he respects my boundaries. I have urged him to take things slow which he respects, and we have talked about moving in together when I'm done with college in December. The problem is that his family is a VERY CONSERVATIVE Christian family. They don't know that we plan to move in together or that my bf doesn't go to Church. They are all about abstinence. His younger stepbrother is a creepy mess. He's always leering, his friends are weird and always drugged up and he has said really inappropriate things to me in the past. Two days ago, we were at my bf's parent's home and his brother and I are cleaning the dishes. He corners me and tells me that he "knows about my past" and if I don't do what he wants he will tell my bf and his parents. By bf doesn't know btw. I asked him what he wanted and he said more pics, along with whatever he may want in the future. I didn't say anything, and his parents came in so he stopped. What in the actual fuck am I supposed to do? Obviously not listen to his creep brother, but I don't see how this can end well if I am even around that family. TL;DR:

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